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t3_2e0bwn | tifu | TIFU by crop-dusting a basement | So a few weeks ago I was at my SO's sister's house for a house warming party. Her sister/brother-in-law had invited 30-40 friends and family over to celebrate their new home. I've been there a few times, so I knew the layout.
After some snacking, I realized I really had to poop. I quickly set my plate down and headed into the basement alone. I knew there was a bathroom down there and everyone was upstairs or outside. As I power walked to the bathroom, I began letting them rip, essentially stinking up the whole basement. I finished up in the bathroom, and they had no Febreeze or anything to hide the scent.
Not even one minute after skipping up the stairs since I was feeling much lighter, did I hear my SO's sister announce they'd be starting a tour of their house for all the guests.
"Let's start in the basement!"
I cringed. Sure enough they all went down into the dungeon of stank to their demise. | Farted/pooped in "empty" basement bathroom. Thought I was in the clear until SO's sister led a tour around their new house starting in the aforementioned basement. |
t3_2h2ked | personalfinance | How to talk to semi-financially illiterate fiancé? | I have a unique situation here in terms of my fiancé. He's 26 and is very well off. But, has never paid a bill until a month ago and doesn't understand dependence on a paycheck, and is often upset with me for how little I can contribute and I'm not sure how to explain that I'm doing everything I can.
He has an investment portfolio that has about 850,000 in it, has additional savings and bonds I'm not aware of the total of (I've been told just forgot), earns 102,000 per year. We just bought a house which we own in full, and he owns his car. Cell phone and anything car related is a company expense including gas.
I on the other hand had a rough/irresponsible few years between 17-20 in terms of "too much car" credit cards and student loans and have been paying for this debt ever since.
He doesn't understand how credit cards work (has no credit score, I had to push him for the last 3 months to apply for a card as he sees no need for one, still doesn't) and now has the bills of the house.
He knew he'd be paying 75% of the house related things. The issue is within the fact that he's upset I can't save massive amounts of money, contribute tons to the house, be debt free AND pay for entertainment all at the same time.
I know that I am maximizing my money well, saving what I can and attacking the debt smartly based off of interest rates but there is still only so much money on the table.
Best way to make him understand this? He doesn't believe me that I'm good with money because I made poor choices in the past. I have posted here before and everyone agrees I am being extremely smart with my situation. Advice on terms to use in discussion along with sites to send him to would be appreciated.
How have you all dealt with financial differences? | fiancé is extremely wealthy, has never had to pay bills or has had debt. Doesn't understand why I have debt or can't contribute as much as he can. |
t3_336ype | relationships | me [18M] just ended a toxic relationship of 1.5 years. feeling depressed about not being able to get any one else. | So i (18M) Just ended a toxic relationship with my SO (18F). It was my first real relationship. she was my second girlfriend ever. my first gf broke up with me after a week cause i was too "awkward".
Although it was a toxic relationship. she was my best friend and my girlfriend all in one. we had our good moments. but our bad moments were awful. I would do so many great things for her. but her food on dates. suprise her with random things. although i wasnt rich, we went on nice little dates that were fun.
in our last major fight. she flat out tells me that i never do anything nice for her and all of our dates are shitty. and how we never go out to eat at nice restaurants. thats what pushed me over the edge because im not rich but i always take her out on fun dates. and she is always talking about how she can do much better than me. (which i honestly think she wont be able to easily).
It just makes me sad that she has to be this dillusional about how good i treat her and my money situation.
I learned so much about relationships and girls when i was her bf for this long. so i have that going for me. but Im not like the guys that girls want to be with. Im nice, and attractive and somewhat social. but i dont have too many friends and im going to a junior college most of my time.
I just think that i was only able to get her as a girlfriend is because we were both young and naive when we started out. I want to start dating again and everything but it just doesnt sound easy. I have always facinated about using Tinder cause it looks really fun. I just cant picture myself with another girl. and i cant picture another girl basically falling in love with me. | Ended a 1.5 year toxic relationship. Cant picture another girl being as comfortable with me as a bf as my ex was to me. |
t3_222k3d | relationships | He [20's/M] asked me [20's/F] to be exclusive after six months. What about him? | I've been talking to this guy for six months. He lives a few states away, but we have met in person and it went really well. We text daily and talk on the phone once or twice a week. We had sex when we met and we frequently sext, if that makes a difference.
He recently sent me a text message asking me if he's the only guy I'm seeing. I said yes, because it's true. Then he texted me back "I want it to stay that way, even though we're long distance".
Ok cool, because I really like him. So I agreed. I'm more than happy to be exclusive. However, my girlfriends are telling me that I should take it with a grain of salt. They say I shouldn't expect HIM to also be exclusive based on that text--they say I simply agreed that **I** wouldn't see anyone else. They say that left the door open for him to see as many other people as he wishes.
I say that it's crazy to ask someone to be exclusive while not expecting yourself to follow by the same rules. Surely since he asked, it means he wants to be exclusive too, right? | Long distance guy asks me to not see other guys during our relationship. Can I assume that means he, too, will exclusively see me and only me? |
t3_3cn8jq | relationships | I (20M) feel like there's more to be desired intellectually with my SO (20F). Among other issues. | We've been together since junior year of highschool. She's my first girlfriend and I love her. But I feel as though it's been fading away over the last 6 months. I'm not attracted to her other than physically. We share nothing in common. I don't want to sound like a pompous ass but I feel as though I am far more intelligent than her. So much so that's it's creating this void.
We're both in college. I'm in engineering and she goes to CC taking filler classes that seem to have no purpose. Academically, I am far more ahead and sometimes I wish we could talk about my studies and she actually understand or be able to relate.
The other elephant in the room is her faith. She is a strong Christian and I practice no religion. There's always been tension here.
She doesn't fit in with my friends and she doesn't really have any of her own. She's clingy as hell because of this.
Sometimes I want to be single again but I don't have the guts to cut it off because it would DEVASTATE her tremendously. I feel trapped at times. I wish she would break it off..
She's good to me. She loves me. She'd do anything for me. We argue often. Increasingly more in recent months.
I'm sorry for sounding like a giant asshole.
What the heck do I do?..... | My SO is sorta dumb / lacking intelligence and I feel an intellectual gap between us that will never work out. Not enough guts to break it off. |
t3_12wyc5 | AskReddit | Are there any other redditors out there who have chosen to raise children in a set-up that differs from the cultural standard (one-two parents + children)? | I'm an American, and have been living in a very untypical household. A few years ago, my best friend had an infant more or less dropped on his doorstep (not so literally). We were all quite young at the time, and when that happened, he couldn't cope right away. So myself and one other friend moved in to help. Fast forward, we wound up sticking with that situation long after my friend had picked himself back up.
With the daughter now 5 years old, she has been and continues to be raised by a total of 4 adults with a (mostly) evenly split responsibility (My best friend, me, our other friend, and in recent years my best friend's girlfriend has joined the mix).
As amazing as this has worked out for us, we've never come across another family living in the same or a similar way and I'd love to know if there were aspects of this that people handled differently to us. For instance, when she started talking and naming people, there was a bit of initial worry about whether calling people "mom" and "dad" would start to be confusing. She calls her bio father "dad" and the rest of us "aunt __" and "uncle __" but it could have easily wound up working out differently.
I suppose I'm looking to hear stories, we were so young when we were thrust into this situation that we kind of just fumbled around and accidentally wound up not screwing it up (yet), so I'm wondering if anyone is in a similar situation but *planned* for it. | Best friend was overwhelmed as a single father, which led to us raising the child in a tribe-like household. Has anyone else ever done this or something similar? What did you do? |
t3_13q240 | relationship_advice | I want to have a threesome with my boyfriend and another girl. How do I do this without putting strain on our relationship? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months - short time, I know. But he is the best thing that's happened for me. We met because we have a class together at our college, turns out we went to the same high school and saw each other every day without even knowing. Small world. :) He is 19 and I am 18.
Our sex life is wonderful, at first I thought we wouldn't be compatible in bed because we both enjoy domination from our partners. However we made it work and just switch roles at random times so it's never dull. I've gotten him to get more aggressive though so we're making progress and training each other to what we like.
Back to the point, I've always considered myself straight, but the past year I've gotten a little bicurious. I like to keep an open mind and I guess it caught up with me. :) I don't think I could ever date a girl or love her, but I've fooled around with a girl a few times and it was great. I would definitely like to explore more. I finally told my boyfriend this a few weeks ago and asked him what he thought about a threesome. (he has never had a threesome, I've only been in an mmf threesome so I'd like to experiment and try ffm). We ended up fighting because he said that a threesome would ruin our relationship, he wasn't going to cheat on me right in front of my face, among other things. I was upset that he shut me down and that we fought but I dropped the subject. Then last night we went on a date and on the drive back he asked me who I'd like to have a threesome with. I was surprised because now he's suddenly changed his mind.
I'm scared he could be right though, and having a threesome could ruin our relationship. So my question is, how could we go about this without ruining our relationship (or putting strain on it)? Did he change his mind just to make me happy, or does he really want this too? Are there any specific guidelines we should follow? I just need advice. | Asked for a threesome, boyfriend immediately said no. He changed his mind now and said yes. How do we have a threesome without causing strain on our relationship? |
t3_2v27f3 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] of 5 months, feel bad about always being so busy | I'm going to preface this with saying that this problem is pretty benign compared to what is normally posted here but, nonetheless, I felt the need to ask everyone for some advice.
I am an Engineering student at a top university. My program is known for being extremely rigorous and, with all of my extracurriculars, it isn't uncommon for me to leave my apartment at 8:30, only to come back at 7:00, just in time to work on homework until 12:00 or 1:00. The only real time that I have free is the occasional hour or two on the weekends.
I've already come to terms with the fact that I can't see my friends or be social as often as I would like and I'm ok with that. The only problem is when my girlfriend comes into the picture.
Let me preface this by saying that my girlfriend, let's call her Elizabeth, is amazing. We never argue, feel extremely comfortable with talking about anything and everything, and quite often do. Despite 5 months not being that long of a time, I feel like I know her quite well.
Almost every night, Elizabeth will come over to hang out while I work. Usually, this consists of me sitting at my desk writing while she browses the internet, and we will just sort of casually talk back and forth.
While I've brought up my concerns, and she claims that she doesn't mind that the only time we spend with each other is while I work, I can't help feeling really guilty that I don't have the time to actually pay proper attention to her, and it's making me feel like a shitty boyfriend.
We have gone on 2-3 proper dates while we've been together, and only a hung out a handful of times where I wasn't just working on homework, and they were amazing, and we had a great time!
I'm just afraid that I am not showing her the appropriate amount of attention and that, eventually, the very limited amount of interaction I can have with her won't be enough. | Extremely busy student is afraid that he's being a shitty boyfriend, but doesn't see a way to improve. What do? |
t3_2k9edp | personalfinance | Awful with finances paid weekly can't stop spending! | So I don't expect a huge number of replies to this but any would be great...
So here I am 20 year old me living with my parents having a full time job and I get paid every Friday. Without fail every Friday I seem to be able to spend all of my wage without really noticing. (Mainly on nights ourt and such, which I know is 100% my fault.) I was wondering if any lovely redditors would be able to suggest a way to control my spending. I mean tonight I write this as I walk home because I cannot afford a taxi even though I got paid literally less than 24 hours ago. Please note I do not spend excessive amounts on alcohol I just somehow manage to spend all of my money regardless. I have tried leaving my bank card at home only taking what I have feel I can afford but again without fail I manage to spend all of my money either later on in the week or just later on when I get home. I must feel addicted to spending money but I genuinely have no idea how I manage it. | I get paid once a week and spend all of my money within a few days. Any idea how I can help actually save and not feel I have to spend every penny before the weekend is over?? |
t3_lfemd | AskReddit | Should my wife and I use a sperm donor? | My wife and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half. After not having any luck, I recently underwent a fertility test (three-week process filled with an exam, ultrasound and multiple semen analyses). My count is just below 4 million and my motility is pretty low.
My wife went to see a doctor about potentially using artificial insemination with my genetic material, but the doctor saw my charts and said the chances are slim with counts as low as mine. He then brought up in vitro fertilization as an option. While we are waiting to have her fertility tested in two weeks, the doctor says there are no preliminary indications that she has any fertility issues. It looks like the hiccups are all on my end.
As I understand it, the IVF process can be arduous. The fertility drugs can cause physiological and psychological side effects, the price of the procedure can get pretty steep, and there is the slightly added risk of multiple births.
Because it seems my wife is totally healthy, I'm thinking of just using a sperm donor. Of course that comes with its own set of challenges, not the least of which is overcoming the thought that I'd be raising another man's child. But, if this method could help me and my wife start a family without the stressful IVF process, I'd definitely consider it. Any advice? | Have a crappy sperm count and am thinking of skipping IVF and using donor sperm. Am I wrong for wanting to do this? |
t3_1ufbab | relationships | Me [19 F] and my boyfriend [20 M] are going to be transferring schools next year and he wants to breakup at the end of this semester. I feel crappy knowing the relationship has to end in 5 months. | The title pretty much sums it up. We talked about what we want out of the relationship and he said he was thinking we would breakup when the spring semester is up. I thought he really liked me and I thought he was going to try and make things work next semester. We may be going to school in the same area, but maybe not. I told him I feel weird knowing the relationship is going to end and he just told me to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Maybe he will change his mind at the end of the semester and maybe it is the best if we do breakup. I just feel super crappy about it all because he is the first guy I have really liked. | boyfriend wants to breakup at the end of spring semester, I am pretty sad about it and don't know how to feel about the relationship having an expiration date. |
t3_1xot8e | relationships | Am I just out of the honeymoon period or is this more serious? | My bf (*M21*) and I (*F19*) have been dating for nearly two years now with lots of long distance for his work. When we met it was electric and we were completely infatuated with each other. The beginning of our relationship was very exciting once we finally saw each other and we were constantly missing each other.
I'm moving to where he is in 3 weeks but the last few months have been quite frankly draining. When we met I thought he was the funniest, sweetest, most attractive guy ever but now literally everything about him pisses me off. We fight about the stupidest things and the future that we have planned together seems to get blurrier and blurrier.
I'm not sure what this is, I've never been in a relationship this long before and he was with one person prior to me for about a year. We both have jealously problems and I feel like what used to be a cute protective quality at the start now leaves me with anxiety over what he is doing and our fights. I feel like relationships should make you a better person and although it made me very happy at the start I know feel like this is destroying my personality. Please someone tell me if they have experienced this, I don't know if this is normal or not. | My two year relationship that started out amazing is now turning to crap because we will be living near each other soon and need to know if its normal. |
t3_er8dg | self | Is anyone else getting depressed about the lack of "christmas spirit" from their family? | Maybe it is just because none of us our kids anymore, but this Christmas has felt less like Christmas than ever before. It seems its all about money. We are brainwashed to think we have to buy this or that. Jeeze, I cant believe how many giftcards were whipped out tonight (we opened presents already to accommodate some family). Its like an exchange of money. Cash is a good gift... but.. I dunno.. One of my other brothers and I did shell out some thoughtful gifts, but the whole time it was just sort of a lets get this over with mentality with most of the family. Is anyone else a little depressed with their family or the amazing amount of pressure to BUY BUY BUY and cop out gifts like giftcards? | There should be more emphasis on making things and giving them! (And YES, I see all the " s.o. made me this" posts, and thats what Im talking about! ) |
t3_q3eyc | BreakUps | She was everything I wanted...except I just wasn't sexually attracted to her anymore. | Hey Reddit folks... this is my first actual post on Reddit. And perhaps it will be cathartic to get it all out.
Me: 32, male. Her: 27. Relationship Length: 1.5 years, but 1 year was long distance.
I met the most wonderful woman while traveling in an Asian country. When we first met, I felt like I got hit with a club....she was so great...and we'd tear each others clothes off and have sex for hours. We only had about 2 weeks together before I left but we were in love and remained in a relationship for the next year or so. I thought she was the one.
Then she came to live with me. I'm not normally one to take such a big step so soon, but we had to give it a try. But after the first week she got there I realized I just was not sexually attracted to her anymore. I've never had issues like this. Deep down I feel all women are beautiful and sexy in some way (or perhaps I am just a man-whore)...so I'd have no problem normally. The thought of having sex with her was even repulsive...but I loved her so much. She was so kind, beautiful, sweet, and fun...I still miss her.
So folks, anyone have a similar story? And if so, any idea wtf is wrong with us? | She was beautiful, smart, and sweet...and everything I wanted. But I just was not attracted to her anymore. WTH is up with that? |
t3_1kq4il | relationships | Me[16M] with my parents and my crush, got involved with the police and now they've lost all trust in me | Yesterday and today have been one of the toughest days of my life. I was planning to meet my crush yesterday with a few friends to spend some time together and unfortunately, it did not work out and my relationship with her ended up going down the drain. One of my friends really didn't like her and the night just ended up being really shitty. On top of that, after she left, I decided to go egging with my friends as I was in a really crappy mood. As a result, we were caught by the police and had our parents come collect us. My parents hate me right now and think I'm a disgrace. I can't really fathom what I've done because it's just not me. Additionally, my parents have lost all trust in me to do anything. I lost a girl I really like and I lost the secure relationship I had with my parents. My life kinda sucks at the moment. I need a hug. | Relationship screwed with my crush. Egged a house. Got caught. Parents hate me, think I'm a disgrace and don't trust me. |
t3_23xctg | relationships | Sick of being alone (19m) | Hello,
I have been alone my entire life. I have never had a had a girlfriend, or been on a date, or even had my first kiss yet. I am 19 years old, and it seems to me like if it hasn't happened yet, it's not going to. I see kids who are on dates every time I go to the movie theater, and I think to myself "what is it that I haven't done?" I find it difficult to talk to girls, but that's not even the immediate issue here. I just can't seem to find someone who is even moderately interested in me. Of course, there are girls that I am interested in, but I have watched each one start a relationship with someone else, and it makes me furious that I can't be one of those people. My best friend has a girlfriend. She's great. She is really nice to me, and to be honest, she is probably the closest girl to me that I know. She's practically the only one that will hang out with me. Anyway, I have gotten fed up with watching my best friend and her have a good time wherever we are, while I just boil in my own self-hatred. I fucking hate being in a room with them and them cuddling. It is a constant reminder of something that I don't have, and probably never will have. It sucks being alone. I just want a girl to love me. | I have involuntarily never been on a date, and I am sick of being alone. I want affection from a girl. |
t3_11cqpa | loseit | Question I didn't find answer to in the FAQ | Hello to anyone who sees this. I am new here. I tried to do the right thing by looking at the FAQ first, but I couldn't particularly find what I was looking for.
My question is, what typically burns more weight off: strength training with weights and building muscle or consistent cardio workouts.
I have access to a gym with free weights and machines, but should I be going there and working my core, chest, arms, legs, etc. or could I just be going on the bikes and treadmills?
Some background on myself to better understand the situation: I really only want to flatten out my stomach to get defined abs and chest. I don't believe I am too out of shape, 5'11" and 190lbs. I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to free weights and lifting. I stay active as a college freshman. Hockey, broomball, ultimate, etc. I'm in the process of limiting my soda intake. I only give this because I know every person is different in their body and working out. | Is cardio (bikes, treadmills, ellipticals) or lifting/machines a more effective way of losing weight? |
t3_hlsdk | AskReddit | Reddit, I believe my co-worker signed me up for a magazine scam. What can I do to get out of it? | I left my cell phone on my desk at work while I stepped away for a few minutes to talk to another co-worker. Someone called my phone a number of times while I was away an the person that sits next to me answered it.
It was someone claiming to be from a publishing company that wanted to sign me up for a $100,000 drawing if I signed up to receive some magazine subscriptions. The coworker that answered the phone said he responded with only short "Yes" answers to all of the questions that the person was asking. Apparently, they are going to send me 48 months of magazine subscriptions that I pay for in the first year.
Reddit, I need some advice as to what I should do to stop this from happening.
I have already read everything [here]( | My co-worker signed me up for a magazine scam from a telemarketer that called my cell phone. What do I do to get out of it? |
t3_2r7f50 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [25 F] of 6 months, I'm suddenly playing second fiddle to her friends | So I [30 M] have been seeing my girlfriend [25F], have been going together for almost 6 months. Things had been great, we spent lots of time together, enjoyed the time we spent together, our sex life is healthy, there weren't any major disagreements between us. Things had been pretty damn good. Until recently.
The problem arose about a month ago. Suddenly, it feels like I have to compete for her attention and she would rather spend time with her friends than with me. It started out small, two nights of girls night in one week but it has gotten worse. And now feels like pulling teeth to get her to go out with me.
It also feels like, their communications are more important than mine, i.e. she returns their messages immediately while I find myself waiting hours.
Up to this point, this had been the best relationship I've had in a while and I don't just want to toss it it away. I'd like to try talking to her about this but she'll probably just tell me that there's nothing wrong. Help? | I suddenly feel like I have to compete for my girlfriend's attention with her friends. What do I do and how do I approach this? |
t3_4pbj0e | weddingplanning | [RANT] How hard is it to book your freaking hotel? | We booked 2 hotel blocks, clearly provided directions on the enclosure card and the website, and emailed the guests a week before the block deal ended telling them to book. We are also planning on providing shuttles to and from the hotels..
And yet, nearly half didn't book a hotel with either of our hotels! I don't know where they're staying...but I felt like we did all we could. So now I am anxious about people not being able to find a hotel this close to the wedding (we're not getting married in a city, so there are a limited number of rooms...) AND feeling like we're going to have too big a shuttle for the number of people actually staying at the hotels we had planned for. | Just book your damn hotel more than 2 weeks before the wedding! Otherwise, you're going to drive the bride crazy. |
t3_272rnn | tifu | TIFU by not checking the washer | This actually happened a while ago but to this day I cringe every time I think about it and my mom still makes fun of me for it.
So I was putting a load of clothes into the washer one day, when I glanced into the barrel of the machine it looked empty so I just went ahead and started the cycle. I went upstairs and about 10 minutes into the wash I hear the incredible shaking and banging sound coming from the laundry room. Me being an idiot, I ignored it and went out for a walk with my boyfriend and the dog.
We got back an hour or so later and the washer had been done long enough for the barrel to drain so I started unloading it and getting ready to take the clothes out to the line. As I'm lifting a wad of jeans and T-shirts from the washer something large and black flopped onto my feet. I look down and IT WAS A GIANT BLACK DILDO STILL IN THE HARNESS. MY MOM HAD BEEN CLEANING HER DILDO IN THE WASHING MACHINE. I didn't notice it initially because it's black and so is the inside of the washer. I was so dumbfounded I just left everything where it was and asked my mom to go finish it for me. As soon as she got down there I could hear her laughing hysterically. | my mom's dildo and harness were hiding in the bottom of the washing machine and I didn't discover it until fell onto my feet. |
t3_280xx2 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 9 months, is having trouble with me having a lot of female friends. | I'm pretty sure there are already plenty of threads with a similar problem, and I would appreciate relationship advice from both the men and women of Reddit.
So throughout my relationship with my girlfriend of almost 9 months, we've gotten into several arguments over the fact that I have more female friends than I do male friends. Yesterday we had the same argument over the fact that I have a lot of female friends and how I'm always texting them. Which I don't believe is entirely true. She sometimes looks through my phone and looks through the call and text history, and knows that she is pretty much the only girl i talk to now. In past arguments I've cut off contact with friends i've known for years just to make her happy. She says the way I talk to them seems like i'm flirting with them, and doesn't trust them. However, that's just the way I've always talked to them throughout our years of friendship, and they really are just close friends to me. I don't know what to do, she tells me she doesn't like it when I talk to them, but at the same time she doesn't want to take me away from my friends, but that is exactly what it feels like, and I don't want to stop talking to my close female friends I grew up with. So I am stumped over what to do, there is no compromise to make us both happy.
For the other way around, I don't really mind her male friends because I have complete trust in her that she wouldn't do anything. She just says she doesn't like girls...
I completely understand how she feels, but at the same time don't know how to make both of us happy (and the article only comes from a female's point of view). I've always put her ahead of myself throughout our relationship, but this problem is a reacquiring nuisance that keeps being brought up. I'm in a dilemma over what is the best way to handle this. | I have more female friends than male friends, and my girlfriend doesn't like it, and don't know what to do to make both of us happy. |
t3_3efsg2 | tifu | TIFU by indulging my inner Little Leaguer | Today, while stopping off at the store to get my usual set of supplies to survive a day in the IT world, I noticed something next to the register that I hadn't seen for a good, long time: Big League Chew. When I was a kid, I would always beg my parents for it and they'd just never, ever acquiesce. Immediately, my 12-year-old self starts yelling at me.
*HAY, GROWN UP ME!*
Yes?
*YOU WANTED THAT STUFF ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE.*
"And?"
*YOU SHOULD GET SOME.*
"...I bet it tastes awesome."
*EVEN BETTER THAN YOU COULD IMAGINE, I BET!*
"I dunno, I can imagine quite a bit."
*I LIKE STAR WARS, TOO!*
So I picked up a package, feeling smug at finally achieving one of my childhood goals by sheer force of adulthood privilege. I get to work, tear open the package with glee, and shove a bunch of the shredded goodness in my maw.
My face, my responsible, grown up, bebearded face fell to the floor when I realized that my gummy holy grail was nothing more than shredded Dubble Bubble. The flavor lasted all of two seconds before it became a rubbery lump devoid of anything that could even vaguely resemble taste.
*THIS STINKS.*
"This sucks."
*DON'T SWEAR. | Got Big League Chew to fulfill a childhood wish, would have been better off setting fire to a buck-fourty-nine and rubbing sugar on my teeth for a minute or so. |
t3_3o99yp | dogs | [Discussion] Puppy coming home in 2 weeks.. breeder has a flea outbreak. | So I did some reddit searching and found some good information, but felt like any of your experiences will definitely help even more for me.
I'll be bringing home my siberian husky at about 8-9 weeks. Last week, my breeder called and told me of her situation. She had a flea infestation.
I was really upset, but understood, dogs get fleas, it happens. But I also had no idea what to do. She, the breeder, explained that she is doing everything she can to protect the dogs and make sure they are safe, and because of this, she may not be letting the puppies leave until it is under control, UNLESS, I want to bring home Raynor and handle his fleas on my own.
I spoke to my vet and he gave me recommendations on medications (for when the puppy is of age), but no matter what I do, if he is where the fleas are, they'll come back and it'll be impossible to get him home flea free.
After some back and forth, I offered to help the breeder and she said she can give the puppy a flea bath right before I pick him up. In my mind, it made sense.. sort of. Through my research, I found that it's not about the adult fleas, it's the eggs and the whole cycle.
I have two pets at home. A cat and a dog. Our yard/area was under great care before and we haven't had a flea outbreak.. ever.
**What should I do? Giving him up is not an option, but I don't want to risk my other pets suffering. | Breeder has flea infestation. Puppy scheduled to be home in 2 weeks. Vet says SOL. Seeking advice/help. |
t3_3bpzy0 | relationships | Does being jealous always mean you have feelings for someone? [22F] with [24M] | I've hooked up with a friend of mine (we've known each other a few years) about six times now over the past few months. We're not FWB though - it just sort of ends up happening.
The thing is, I'm confused about my feelings for him at the moment.
There was a period where I think I legitimately had a crush on him and was upfront about this because I didn't want things to get messy, so I know that on his part at least, he doesn't have actual feelings for me. My crush on him seemed to fade after that - like, I can't picture myself in a relationship with him. I've realised we would be a *total disaster* if we ever got together. Like, I obviously like hanging out with him, but I'm really unsure about the idea of hanging out with him as much as I would with a boyfriend.
The problem is, I still get jealous about him, like when he flirts with other people or if I found out he got with someone else. I'm not sure how much of this is a product of the fact that I'm really insecure and have anxiety, so I keep comparing myself to these girls. I also find myself thinking about the sex a lot but I think about sex a lot normally anyway and he's the only guy I've had sex with recently, so I wonder if that could be why.
So: does jealousy always mean you have feelings for someone, even if you don't want a relationship with them? | I've slept with my friend a couple of times now, don't want a relationship with him, but get jealous. Does this mean I do have feelings for him? Or not? |
t3_xqh1j | relationships | Relationship with friend - tell me what you think please! | So, to give you the context of things, this is a long relationship and we kind of became best friends from the start.
I developed feelings for him and kept them bottled up because he was dating a common friend of us. This eventually came up and we gave it a try but after a while he decided that he wanted to go back to our friend and he did. It was really obvious of who he really liked from the start, but I wanted it so much that I didn't even care. To me this was an issue that was never really settled but I got back to the bottling phase and we went back to being best friends. Best friends who talk all the time and all that stuff.
The thing is, for some time now, I don't really know where we're going. He blames me for everything, and makes a big deal out of EVERYTHING. Any little thing that happens and that he doesn't like, is my fault. Things like, another mutual friend of ours decides to go out or something like this and didn't tell us, he finds out and it's my fault because we're leaving him aside. And it wasn't even me doing this. And the list goes on. Basically he got so involved with his SO that I'm the bridge between him and our others friends. And he always blames me for every little thing that doesn't pleases him. (and oh boy, there are many).
This is the kind of relationship where I can be as mad as hell and I end up being the one taking the fall and saying sorry.
I realize that I still hold the feelings for him and that it interferes with how I handle things, but it never stopped me from treating him well, and always being there. I have put up with so much shit in our relationship, and I've always been there. Every time he goes like this, I go and get him. Every. time.
Recently, over one more of those stupid things, he went ballistic and told me he needed to get away of the drama (that he makes, but he forgot this part) and that he wasn't going to speak with me for a while. Should I go after him, like I did so many times?
Ages: ~25 everyone involved | Best friend for whom I have long time feelings is dating another friend and is treating me like shit in every possible situation and now decides he doesn't want to talk with me anymore. |
t3_3xkyip | relationships | My wife [27F] cheated on me [26M] 6 months ago. Now a friend of hers is pursuing me | Update at the end of this post... | My wife cheated. We are reconciling. Her friend has a crush on me. Her friend really wants to bump uglies. I'm not going to cheat on my wife. How can I let her down easy? |
t3_3hbivw | relationships | Me [21M] with my GF [21F] of 3 months, I recently found out she had sex with her ex at the time we were not officially together, but we were talking. | We started talking around May and by talking I mean getting to know each other, kissing, things you do right before a relationship. At the same time she had a boyfriend that she wanted to end the relationship with. She told me he was an ex. I recently found out that she had sex with him during our time of talking, i found this out by reading her text messages between him and her. Because of this by the way she has lied to me saying that she was a virgin, that I took her virginity. After we started dating and became official she has not talk to him since. I feel betrayed and that I should tell her all of this. What do you think? | Girlfriend of 3 months lied to me about being a virgin and me taking her virginity. She had sex with her ex, I found out through reading their texts. |
t3_20f6qu | relationships | Have you ever had to break up with somebody who's in a shitty life situation, likely making their situation worse that you broke up with them? | I [20M] have been with my girlfriend [20F] for four years.
Her life has been a shitstorm, to say the least. Her parents used to be abusive and pretty much quit supporting her after high school. She can't afford college, and she's been working at a host at a local restaurant for about a year without any signs of her moving up the ladder.
Things got so bad with her parents that she's been living with my parents for a year now. She could move back, but she'll likely be supporting herself completely, aside from rent.
She really wants to go to college, but she is ineligible for any kind of government aide and most scholarships.
I just can't handle it anymore. I love her more than I can explain, but all of these problems are killing me. She says I'm the greatest thing that has happened to her, which kills me more. I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend's life is super shitty, and will likely be much shittier when/if I break up with her, and I don't know how to handle it. |
t3_310gjk | relationship_advice | [21/f] who can't figure out what [21/m] wants. Need advice please! | So I've been seeing this guy I met on an online dating site on/off since early November. We started off as a pretty serious thing, then things started to get weird and we decided to let it be un-exclusive because he was obviously not ready to commit to a real relationship. When that happened in January, we spent about a month not talking at all, and then in February he randomly asked me out and I was down. Since then, it's been this weird almost relationship type thing where he seems like he is really into me but is just scared to actually commit to anything, and I don't know what to do.
For instance, I've already met all of his friends/coworkers and he obviously talked about me to them, and have since hung out with him and them a lot. He has met a lot of my friends and constantly asks how they are doing if I don't bring them up in conversation. I've also met some of his family (he hasn't met mine though, since they live in a different city). And when we hang out, he and I obviously have a really great time. But then, after we hang out, we barely talk and don't see each other for awhile (weeks sometimes), and then we will spend 48hrs straight together again. I've told him about how much I like him, really do want a commited relationship with him, and that if he didn't feel the same way it was okay but I just wanted to know, and he didn't respond with an answer either way. I also know that he is still talking to other people on the dating site I met him on (I am too though, because I don't know where this is really going with him). I'm honestly just at a loss of what he wants from all of this and how to handle talking to him about it. Any thoughts? | guy i've been seeing can't seem to make up his mind about me after several months, and I don't know what I can do to help him decide one way or another. |
t3_svn39 | AskReddit | Will You Help Me Put My Money Where My Mouth Is? | As you likely know, CISPA was passed by the House of Representatives. This bill – allegedly designed to keep us safe from something or other – is the biggest threat to online privacy and creativity that I've ever seen. The only people it really protects are the individuals and corporations who seem entirely oblivious to the fact that file sharing (even if it is called piracy) is the single best way to advertise and promote things.
I call myself an author. I'd like to be paid to tell stories. However, my first and most important goal is to entertain, and I can't do that if people are kept from sharing my work. As someone who hopes to make his living by selling something online, I'm especially vulnerable to revenue losses from piracy, but I've always argued that people should be free to upload, download, and share anything they'd like. In the end, I've reasoned, enough people will pay for something to make it worthwhile.
Well, CISPA says otherwise, and I'm not going to do anything to support its lunacy. I'm putting my money where my mouth is, and I'm releasing my novel, Nearly Departed, for free. | CISPA is bad. Artists are not adversely affected by piracy. To prove it, I'm releasing my novel for free. |
t3_366zyp | relationships | [22 M] with my verbally/physically abusive parents, just left the house after an ugly fight - what to do? | I am 22 years old, living in the northeast, US. I have a very abusive relationship with my parents; they are verbally and physically abusive, curse me out, and often tell me I won't be successful.
The challenge is, they are often times nice and loving as well, but lately they have been more abusive than loving. Today, I had an especially ugly fight with my parents which started over something minute (as it usually does), and resulted in me grabbing a change of clothes and my laptop and leaving. I am currently typing this from my college's library.
I'm not sure what to do. I didn't really do any planning before leaving my house (a few hours ago). I have some savings: I have $3500 in my checking/savings account.
I don't want to go home because I am tired of being an that environment and torn down emotionally and I don't feel safe there. I don't want to get berated and beaten again. But I'm also afraid and unsure what to do next, and where to go from here. I think I have enough money to support myself, but really I don't have much of a point of reference. Where do I even find a place to stay so quickly??
Please help - what should I do? What resources can I tap into to help me get started and feel safe. | 22M lived with abusive family, just got into a bad fight and ran out. I have some money and don't feel safe going back - what are my options? |
t3_3uym5h | relationship_advice | [22/f] my ldr boyfriend (23/m) told me he wanted a break in the relationship and wanted space and I semi-hooked up with someone else who genuinely likes me. What should I do? | I was feeling very vulnerable and rejected especially right before Thanksgiving when I was supposed to celebrate with him. He's been making me feel unwanted, unappreciated, and unhappy for the past month. He makes me feel like I'm a burden he's too afraid to get rid of. I went to visit my sister instead and she introduced me to one of her boyfriend's friends and we immediately hit it off. He made me feel beautiful, intelligent, sexy, funny, like he cared about not only me but my interests/passions, and made me smile and laugh so much. I haven't felt that way in a long time and I gave in to him and the alcohol. We made out pretty much every day and cuddled but I couldn't let it go any further because I was feeling guilty. The day I left, the guy told me that he really likes me even though I've only known him for a week. I feel something for him too I think. We're still talking but my boyfriend told me today that he doesn't want the break anymore. I love my boyfriend but not the way he treats me. Should I tell him?
Edits: my boyfriend is 1070 miles away in the same time zone. new guy is also very far away. 2590 miles away and three hours behind. Sometimes it's like my own boyfriend doesn't care about making long distance work but the other guy has been like begging me to give him a chance since he thinks I'm worth it. | boyfriend whom I'm in love with wanted a break and I met someone else who treated me better and now I'm confused |
t3_2wvh0v | relationships | Me [27M] huge crush on a friend [26F] just told her I like her...no reply!! Freaking out :( | So long story but couple years back ended my marriage of 3.5 years (relationship 6 years). Started concentrating on myself and now I'm happy with me! Have been on and off dating the last year no real lasting relationship though.
I start to notice a cute girl at work and we get to know each other and hang out, movies, dinner etc. In turn I start to like her, alot and it turns into a pretty big crush. I sent her flowers anonymously on valentines day (couldn't work up the courage to label it). I've been thinking about how to tell her for ages and tonight I got talked into texting her....she regularly falls asleep texting me and replies in the morning but she hasn't replied after my text to liking her...now I'm worried and nervous Argh! | huge crush on a girl, hung out a fair bit, told her I like her in txts and now getting no reply, worrying and nerves :( |
t3_1de04i | relationships | Boyfriend [20] wants to start smoking weed again, but I [20] am not sure that I am comfortable. | Thanks for your input in advance! (M and F both 20)
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. We were friends before we started dating. Before we dated, he was a little bit of a mess. He smoked occasionally here and there, but it really affected his schoolwork to the point of being on academic probation. Or he would come to school still half baked. But he got it together. He worked for a summer camp with kids, so he needed to quit for that job. He started getting his act together with school this year. Retaking classes that he failed the first time around and getting himself out of academic probation. I am really proud!
I have never really been a fan of weed. Just not my thing. One of my best friend's older brother smoked a lot of weed and was abusive towards her. That's what turned me off to weed. I am also not comfortable in the legal sense.
I did found out he smoked a couple of times while we were together after he returned from camp. He told me before we started dating that he was done with weed for good. I wouldn't have entered into the relationship if he hadn't said that to me. I talked to him about it after it happened. He agreed that he did tell me this and hasn't smoked since. We agree when summer rolled around, we would discuss the topic again.
Well, it's finals weeks and summer is right around the corner. We're having a talk about it on Wednesday. I love him to pieces and picturing my life without him just kills me inside. I don't want to see him slipping in school or being half baked like we did before we were dating.
I don't want it to come down to me or the weed either. He's said I come before weed, but I don't want to deny him a good time with his friends. I definitely don't want to break up. | Boyfriend really made progress in school since quitting weed but wants to start again. I am not exactly comfortable and looking to compromise. |
t3_r5y4a | AskReddit | What were some of your favorite high school shenanigans? | One of my friends was screwing around in class one day during our sophomore year of high school. He drew a picture of a block of cheese with a face. After he finished drawing it, he named it the Cheezy Chief as a reference to Halo's Master Chief. He then tossed that paper on the floor. The very next day our assistant principal busted into class and yelled "It's alright kids, we got this gang sign under control!" We lived in a very white area with no history of gangs at all. My friend gathered up a small group of our friends and decided to make more of these drawings and spread them throughout the school. As the group did this, it caused our assistant principal to flip shit. He freaked out, said on the morning announcements that if he ever finds the perpetrator, he will be expelled from school. He also told the janitors that they were no longer allowed to throw away the pictures of the Cheezy Chief and they must give all pictures that they find of it to him. Within a few months he had a huge stack of these drawings on his desk. Meanwhile my friends kept replicating the drawings by the hundreds (no exaggeration) and spreading them throughout the school. They were in every place they could put them. Our assistant principle went insane. He never figured out who the perpetrators were, even though almost everyone in our grade did (small school). He left at the end of the year to become the principal of another school. | My fiend made a random drawing and my assistant principal freaked out that it was a gang sign. Our friends enjoyed watching him lose his sanity and replicated those pictures for the rest of the year |
t3_17zjrk | relationships | My ex [25] won't stop harassing me [21] and no one will take me seriously because the harassments aren't all at once. | I dated this guy for a little over a year. It was a ridiculously controlling relationship - my friends barely knew me and almost never saw me. I was with him every second I wasn't working or in class and it was a very negative situation. Eventually I got out of it because he found someone else, which even though I was upset with at the time, I realize was the greatest thing that could have happened because of how crappy I now see he was.
After we broke up, he still pretty much controlled me. I didn't really talk to boys, still, and even though we hadn't seen each other in two or three months, we talked every day and he always knew where I was and who I was with. If he didn't approve I didn't go. Finally, I met another guy [23] and he ended it with me.
This is when the harassment started. He would send me very hurtful texts and constantly put me down and call me a slut and tell me how stupid I was and how everyone loved him and hated me. These became less and less frequent, but they still occurred. There was a lull for a few months when I started dating another guy, but I recently broke up with him and just got another obnoxiously rude text from my ex, calling me a gold digging slut and a bitch in the same message.
No one is taking me seriously about the harassment because it isn't constant, but every time it happens I have a break down because it reminds me of how controlling my relationship was and he still manages to make me feel like shit about myself. My mom finally agreed to let me block his number, but since we live in the same small college town I feel like it's still going to happen somehow.
Is there any action I can take other than blocking his number or will no one take me seriously? I still have every text he's ever sent since it started. | My ex won't stop harassing me via text, but no one will take me seriously since its not happening all the time. |
t3_1ghmbu | relationships | am I (21/f) being unreasonable for wanting to hear from my boyfriend (21/m) everyday? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about four months and most everything has been going great. However, sometimes I won't hear from him at all for two days or so if we don't have set plans made. we're both busy, working full time with active social lives, so it's somewhat understandable. I haven't told him that it upsets me when i don't hear from him because I don't know if it's petty, I really don't want to be a naggy girlfriend. Even a text saying "hey, how is your day going?" would make me so happy from him on a daily basis if we don't get to see each other that day. Sometimes i'll even pose a question like that to him and won't hear back from him until late at night because he's with friends. am I being overly attached? | i don't hear from my boyfriend everyday, even when I reach out to him, and it upsets me. am I being unreasonable and should i approach him about it? |
t3_2ihc6z | relationships | Me [22M] with my ex [21F]. Why does love go away? | Curious male here looking for different perspectives on relationships.
I [M22] broke up with my gf [F21] a few months ago--we were together for a total of six months. Long story short, due to a lack of communication, little issues snowballed into big ones and our relationship went to hell--all over the course of a month. Near the end of our relationship, making plans with her was like pulling teeth and our sex life was dead and buried. We talked about things and she would agree to work on her issues (and I on mine) but she didn't really do anything. Working on it meant that I just had to sit there and deal with it.
I had strong feelings for her when I ended things (and I still do) but we just couldn't keep going the way we were going. I decided to pull the trigger myself and end the relationship kind of on my own terms. She didn't take it well--even though she must have known that it was the right thing to do. Now she awkwardly avoids eye contact with me when I see her around campus.
My question for r/relationships is, why and how does love just go away? Also, why does it go away so suddenly? In my case, our relationship was full of so much passion and affection up until the last month. Over the course of a week and a half, she went from being affectionate and caring to distant and irritable.
Love is a strong word and I hesitate to say it but being with her was the closest I ever felt to it. And I know that she felt the same way too--at least for a little while. Truth be told I would get back together with her but that's a different issue altogether. What could a man say or do to make that just disappear? In a relationship where we prided ourselves on being open and honest, (at least at the beginning) what would make a caring woman just back out and not care anymore. Why would she not want to work on it?
Obviously every woman is different and you can't read my ex's mind, but I'm just looking for some perspective from the other side. Maybe you could share some stories where you were in a similar situation? Thank you | What makes a woman go from being in love to being indifferent within a short period of time? More importantly, how do you get over it. I can't get over this feeling of not being "good enough." |
t3_q2gfm | relationships | Girlfriend's best friend(a guy) trying to get between us | Me(M):19, Her:18, together for a year
My girlfriend and I have been in a steady relationship for a little over a year now. Everything is going great; we love each other, we accept each other for who we are, and we're open and honest with each other.
Then there's *that* guy. You know who he is. Your girlfriend's best guy friend who you try your best not to get a little jealous around. He has had a thing for her before, and has admitted to still having feelings for her *while she was still in a relationship with me*. It makes me feel a little weird about them talking so much, but I get over it. Jealousy really isn't the issue here.
Whenever my girlfriend and I have a disagreement, or something not so great happens, she talks to him about it. I can understand that; they've been helping each other out for a while now. The problem is, he tries his damnest to make me look like a horrible boyfriend. I don't think I'm the most perfect guy in the world. I have my flaws. But whenever she goes to him about these flaws, he blows it up to make me look like the shittiest person in the world. It hurts, and I would simply brush it off as him being a dick head if it weren't for this;
Time and time again, he blatantly flirts with her. For example, he sometimes calls her sexy and talks about what it would be like if they were together. I am beginning to think that he is trying to sabatoge our relationship to get her to be with him. My girlfriend brushes it of, insisting that it's completely innocent. (she uses his bisexuality as an excuse for some reason I don't understand).
My girlfriend obviously isn't okay with him talking down about me, but that in and of itself isn't really the problem. The problem is that I think he is trying to get between us.
Am I just being paranoid? If not, how should I confront this? | My girlfriend's best friend(a guy) is showing evidence of trying to separate us so he can get with her. Am I wrong for being concerned about this? If not, how should I handle it? |
t3_19d2kq | AskReddit | Elder Redditors and parents of Reddit, I want to get your hindsight on your decision to have or not have children. | My question(s) to all of you is, why did you decide to have kids? Why did you decide not to have kids? Would you make the same decision again?
I know the answer is unique to everyone so below a little background on me if you care to read it.
I live in Atlanta, am 25, and will be graduating from law school in the Spring. I went to an inexpensive law school and I had savings so I will be graduating with a manageable amount of debt (around $30k). The decision to have or not have kids is way down the road for me but it is something I contemplate because it is a decision that I have to have some certainty about in order to move forward with certain aspects of life.
I do want to get married down the road so, god willing, I will have someone to spend the latter years of my life with. I don't plan on getting married until I am financially sound. Because 50% of marriages end in divorce, I want to make sure that my "spouse to be" and I have the same views on big-ticket issues like kids, finances, etc.
I know I am still relatively young and my mind will inevitably change to a certain degree, but I do not think that having kids is what I want in life. I realize it is impossible to weigh the pros of being a parent until you hold your own child in your arms but to me the cons (cost, loss of freedom, etc.) outweigh the pros (fulfillment, love, etc.). Most people that I tell this to give me a version of, "When it is your kid you will feel differently." But what does that mean? Am I supposed to have a kid in the hopes that my own kid will change my mind? Seems crazy to me. | I don't think I want to have kids but 90% of people I tell that to tell me I am crazy. What do you think? |
t3_50jr9v | legaladvice | Just got keys to my new apartment and it's infested with rats and water damage...what do I do to get out of the lease? | Apartment is located in West philadelphia, pa.
The apartment was absolutely disgusting. Upon entering I smelled something just plain bad. Like mildew. I also heard immediately the scurrying of what sounded like a lot of rats or something! Then I walked in and It had rat droppings everywhere.... And I really mean everywhere. Every nook and cranny. The bedroom carpet was absolutely disgusting and needed to be changed. The bathroom floors had enough water damage to the point where you could step on spots and depress them far! The floor of the bathroom is ripped and exposes what looks like water damaged wood. I have video evidence of this all.
The owner told me they simply have to "clean" the apartment for it to be move in ready, even though my lease starts tomorrow.
I signed a lease and provided a security deposit.
What are my options here? How can I get out of this lease? The apartment is simply not livable.... | apartment is not in livable condition and has water damagedfloors and rat infestation. What are my options on getting out of a 1 year lease? |
t3_pnwyk | relationships | Should we break up? :( | I'm Female 22 and my boyfriend is 22 as well. We have been long distance for 5 months (dating 10 months total). I love him. I thought he was going to be transferring to my college next year and he promised me he was. We talked about it a lot. Yesterday he told his parents he wanted to transfer and they flipped shit. They basically came up with endless reasons why he shouldn't. Now he doesn't want to. I'm so confused. We wanted the same things in life: to get married and have children together. Now he wants to stay long distance another 3 more years. I'm so upset I don't even know what to do. I just can't believe he can let them control his life like that. It doesn't seem fair, we had everything planned out. He's making it seem like its MY decision if we stay together or not. But honestly surviving the distance from California to New York is getting more and more difficult. I would smile to myself every day thinking that we would be together next year. Now its gone. He chose college over me. I feel like he doesn't love me and I would definitely chose him over anything. I feel betrayed. He says he will buy plane tickets to see me and he texted my best friend to talk to me and tell me he still loves me. It just feels like a bunch of bullshit. Give me some perspective? Should I stay with him? | Boyfriend was going to transfer to my college. We had plans for the future. Parents convinced him not to. He still wants to be together but I feel betrayed and confused. |
t3_edeyo | AskReddit | Close friend drinks too much, need help. | Title sums it up. I have a very close friend that drinks a lot. The drinking by itself isn't what bothers me. Its your body, if you want to ruin it by getting hammered everyday, so be it. Its her actions while drunk that I can't deal with.
She gets mean when she drinks. Doesn't care that what she is saying may upset/hurt someone else.
She also drives when shes drunk. Blackout drunk. Swerves all over the road and doesn't remember how she got from point A to B.
This is someone that I've known for almost my entire life, and I care about her. When she isnt drinking, shes a friendly, funny, lovable person. I want to see her get help before she kills herself, or worse, someone else.
Friends and family have tried talking to her (intervention, personal 1-on-1 talks) and are greeted with a cold shoulder and denial that she has a problem.
I live in Southern California and from what I know, there isn't much we can do to make her get help. She pretty much has to be ready to commit herself. Which I don't see happening anytime soon.
So I ask, are there any other options/ideas? | Close childhood friends get blackout drunk, turns into an asshole, and then thinks driving is okay. Need to get her help before she hurts someone else. |
t3_1c73w2 | dating_advice | I think I resent my bf of 5 months (26f, 27m) | I'm not sure if I hate my boyfriend or hate myself. Or maybe it's just a general frustration at life and partly due to the fact I came off the contraceptive pill 3 days ago (although it feels too soon to be feeling emotional effects of that).
We've been dating for 5 months and apart from Christmas have spent every weekend together, usually from Friday night until Sunday evening.
This week I saw him on Wednesday and today he revealed he can't see me on Friday, which makes me wonder if he knew he was going to be busy and just didn't tell me. But in this country you typically have to "book in" social events at least 4 days ahead, so effectively he's left me without any way to make my own plans for Friday and Saturday (although damnit, I'm going to try!).
Part of my frustration comes from the fact that despite living here for 2 years I have but 2 friends outside of work - one of whom is always busy so I end up hanging out with her and her friends and they always talk about common work colleagues I don't know (and in their own language, which I'm trying my best to learn and I'm getting there), and the other is also pretty busy and we don't have that much in common.
Which leaves me with the boyfriend. Quite often we hang out with his friends so it's not like I'm short on people, but they're not people I can call to hang out with without him.
I feel like the power balance is shifted from "equal" to "I'm dependent on him for social needs" and I quite frankly don't like it - but he doesn't give me the space to develop my own social life (unless he's busy and tells me last minute). I know part of this is my fault because I assume that since we spend every weekend together we'll be doing so this weekend and the next too… and I also want to see him as much as possible and if I make plans I don't get to see him.
Any thoughts / opinions / advice on what to do? | I'm socially isolated and bf's behaviour (and mine) isn't helping, and I'm starting to resent him. |
t3_3fc5n8 | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [26M] doesn't give enough emotional support. I try to tell him I need support. What can I do? | He thinks he needs to be the "rock," but it seems like every time I get stressed out he feels inconvenienced when I reach out to him. He writes it off as "stupid" "trivial" and "manufactured." This happens all the time. He thinks he's giving enough "support," but he hasn't actually tried to understand when I tell him that these things feel like a big deal to me. I do care about him, but it's getting ridiculous. Do I really need to put up with someone who thinks I'm being "ridiculous" when I get stressed out and reach out for support? | ask boyfriend for patience with anxiety, he just goes to anger immediately, don't know whether I should put up with someone who thinks I'm being stupid when I reach out to them. |
t3_2p5ktp | relationships | Me [30 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] one year, I'm pretty sure I was raped on a business trip, how do I tell her? | I was on assignment in a country where there is no rule of law, per se, and no legal recourse (trust me, it doesn't end well when people go to the police about this matter). On my second night, I was staying at a flat that my company keeps for our staff here, and i got incredibly intoxicated (along with everyone else) and passed out only to come to with a colleague riding me. I never had any interest in sleeping with this woman, at any point during the evening, and I'm now losing my mind. I love my girlfriend, and this isn't me! I;m flying home tomorrow, how do I not let this ruin everything. I was in a happy monogamous relationship, and we have a place together and everything. | I had sex when I was passed out, and I don't know how to tell my gf without ruining everything! |
t3_1ct7w4 | relationships | My [25m] boyfriend is accusing me of starting to "let myself go [25f] | We have been together for 2 1/2 years, and have been living together for 5 months. I have bipolar disorder, which occasionally (ok, at least monthly) affects our relationship. Along with the little bouts of depression, I care less about my hygiene. I shower, but brushing my teeth is something I've always hated. I gag, I hate the feeling and the taste of ANY toothpaste. Brushing my teeth 5-7 times a week is a huge thing for me. I sometimes brush them with water, and my dentist says I have incredibly health teeth.
He is a tooth brushing freak, it happens even if he is so wasted he can hardly stand. He doesn't like that I don't do it as much because I'm "not taking care of myself". Also, I work in a sport environment and recently found a pair of Nike shoes that I love (Nike Max Air 4 in case you're interested), and I wear them everywhere. I don't like to get dressed up for much, like a semi-casual restaurant where I wanted to wear a hockey jersey because the game was on in the bar section where we sat.
He says this is the beginning of the downslide where I don't care about my appearance and start to gain weight, not care about hair or makeup, wear runners everywhere like a 14 year old... I'm getting really offended. I don't know what to say, but I'm feeling pretty indignant. I've been working on brushing my teeth more, and I just happen to like the god damn shoes. I feel like he's putting too much emphasis on my appearance. I don't know how to explain it to him without being a total bitch.
Ninja edit to add I haven't gained a pound since we got together, in case it matters in the "letting self go" equation. | Boyfriend thinks I'm letting myself go, complains about things I wear and is making me feel about an inch tall, and telling me he's pretty much always right about everything. |
t3_2z408b | relationships | Do I [21/f] have Right to be Angry at Friend [21/f] for Trying to Hook up with my Boyfriend? [20/m] | My supposed friend, tried to hook up with my boyfriend at a party tonight. She was drunk and was pretty much feeling his crotch area and she tried to make out with him. He pushed her away, and he called me and told me what happened. And now I'm so furious I can hardly function. I wasn't very close with her, but she is a mutual friend of a few of my best friends. So I don't want this to tarnish my other friendships, but I want her completely out of my life. As far as I'm concerned that was basically sexual assault, and I can't even describe how pissed I am. Honestly she is lucky I wasn't there, I know she is going to try using alcohol to justify it. I'm pretty anti-drug/alcohol and I think people should still be held accountable for their actions while under the influence of something they chose to put into their body. Words cannot describe how pissed I am right now, am I justified in feeling this way? What's the best way I can go about this situation?
Thankyou and sorry if I come across as a total bitch but I've never been this angry in my life. | My friend tried hooking up with my boyfriend at a party, by touching him sexually and trying to make out with him, he pushed her away and called me. Now I'm pissed. |
t3_1m9ofc | AskReddit | How many of you actually look at other redditor's submission history? | Ok, I'm aware of the risks for posting this, if it explodes, I'll get a TON of kind of unwanted attention, but I'm willing to look past that to get this answered...
What the fuck is /r/CHART_BOT and why the hell does it exist? I was in another thread in /r/technology and a comment thread ended in some redditor perusing my submission history which he then posted on this subreddit to aggregate logistical data of my history on the site. Now I don't know about you guys, but I find this incredibly creepy.
I personally rarely ever look at anyone's submission history (I remember looking at /u/_vargas_ and this guy who just dug up my information), and when I do it's usually because some other redditor has pointed out how much they love their posts. | found this creepy subreddit dedicated to analyzing submission history and think it's creepy, so how many people actually do this/care? |
t3_3mpx9e | relationships | My[26m] mother[49f] won't stop bothering me about dating | I finished school a little over a year and a half ago and I've been working since then and doing stuff in my free time. I've never dated, etc. I never made any
friends in university and I was about half a year behind the class I started with because I went overseas alone to work. I bounced around a bunch
of different apartments with random people from the internet until I just settled into a 300sqft apt. Still a virgin, w/e. I'm accepting of my life
and I'm not really interested in dealing with relationships or sex.
Now that I've finished school my mom keeps bringing up dating and girls and kids every time I give her and my dad a phone call which is usually
once or twice a week. It was fine the first couple of times but after that it just became annoying every time she said it. I've told her that I'm
not doing anything like that anytime soon if at all so she should stop asking but she never really seems to listen.
I don't want to hurt my mom's feelings by yelling at her or being forceful. I'm the oldest of 3 and my brothers are already in long-term committed relationships.
I don't know why it bothers her so much apparently. I know she wants grandkids but my brothers are more then capable of doing that task.
Should I just grimace through my teeth when she asks about it on the phone and let her be? My mom is pretty sensitive so I'm afraid that it'll really hurt her. | my mom is really annoying about kids, girls, dating, marriage and all that stuff but I want to figure out a way to convey it effectively without hurting her feelings. |
t3_35my9m | relationships | I [28M] hooked up with a girl [25F] and she was super into me. 5 days later she says no romantic feelings. | Met this girl on tinder and we went out. Within 10 minutes I could tell she was interested and even probably wanted to have sex. We had drinks and dinner and even kissed at the bar a few times. I asked her if she wanted to go dancing, and she responded that she did. So we went to a club only to find out it wasn't open yet. So we decided to go to my place. We hung over for a while before we had sex. She spent the night and in the morning we had sex again. I left walking hand in hand with her and as soon as she left me, she found me on instagram and snapchat and friended me. I thought she was super into me.
I get busy and can't see her for a week or two, and in that time we text and snap and then she starts pulling away. I follow suit but ask her if we can get drinks this coming week. She says yes, but then a few days later she cancels saying there is no romantic feelings. She says she wants to be friends and I say yea thanks but didn't get that feeling from our date and just for her to figure it out.
I'd like to think I didn't do anything wrong (I wasn't clingy, didn't text too frequently, etc.) but she lost interest after showing strong interest up front. I'm fine with letting it go, just get very confused about how this all goes down like this because ultimately, I would've liked to see her again. Maybe it's just one of those things. | Met a girl on tinder, we had sex the first night. She seemed to like me but before I could see her again she said she wasn't interested. |
t3_2qen2i | relationships | [18m] Dad is trying to set time limits on the internet. Not sure how to go about this. | My Dad has been strict my entire life with me but now that I am 18 and have a job I feel like this shouldn't be something that he regulates. I have 2 younger brothers and I think that he still feels that he has 100% control over me, like he does them. I would rather not resort to just changing the internet settings secretly so I have no "set times" for internet usage. I believe it has become a fundamental tool as well as entertainment source and being limited is not something that would be beneficial to me. A reason I post this on here is to get a variety of tips on how I can deal with this. He does get irrationally angry about certain things and has been controlling my entire life. | Controlling Dad wants to put internet limitations on myself [18m] need advice on how to deal with this with as little conflict as possible. |
t3_fbzw5 | AskReddit | First person dreams vs Movie-like dreams and the link to Games/Movies. | I would like to start out saying that I read a few articles somewhere saying that it was a link between TV and dreaming that caaused black and white and color dreams... back when tv's where only in B/W the majority of dreams were too, but now most people dream in color because of color TV...
My question is this, if TV can influence dreams then can gaming as well? Example, I play shitloads of first person shooters and I always have, all my dreams are in color and I feel like I am directly in control of them (lucid?). But my wife watches tons of TV and movies and whenever she tells me her dreams she says she is always in the third person and watches everything happen like it is a movie and she is just observing everything that happens without the direct control. She knows who she is watching is her, but its not first person.
Is this a difference in how people dream on a basic level? Or is this an affect of TV/Gaming as well and should it possibly be looked into with scientific research? I would think if the brain is that influenceable it should def be studied.
Also when I started playing WoW I got some really really really weird dreams, along with other people I know...any experiences with this one guys? | I play tons of FPS and dream in first person and in control. Wife watches tons of movies and dreams in 3rd person as observer. Is this a link to the entertainment we watch or just biological? |
t3_1eq41o | dating_advice | I've (M23) been talking to a girl (F22) I hooked up with a while back, don't know how to tell her I just want to be friends... | Ok to start with, I'm at university, currently sitting my finals and graduating in 3 weeks or so. She's a student but she's not around a lot as she's away on placement. She'll still be here for another two years.
So back in February-ish time, I hooked up with her when I met her on a night out, came back to mine, didn't have sex, but everything else happened...if ya know what I mean. Anyway, she hung around all day (not through my asking, I might add, although I wasn't particularly bothered, never want to kick someone out, especially under those circumstances).
So when she leaves she adds me on facebook and sends me a message thanking me for everything and asks me if I perhaps wanted to go for a drink or something. To which I replied saying that I just didn't have the time for anything like that at the time, which was wholeheartedly the truth. Was in the middle of my thesis along with a whole other load of reports and it's been pretty relentless ever since.
But yeah, we sent messages back and forth for a bit, and then I just kind of let it slide. Anyway, a couple of weeks back, I went out got pretty drunk and when I got back in one night, decided I'd message her to see how she is. Ever since, we've been talking loads, just messaging back and forth. She's a lovely girl and really nice to talk to, which is why I've been talking to her so much. I thought it was just all friendly until she sent me a message like half an hour before my exam today saying good luck which maybe she thought something more of it....
I just don't know how best to tell her that I don't want anything more than being just friends. And I might be jumping to conclusions hugely, she might just be being friendly, I just don't want to lead her on if she is looking for something else to happen. How can I say that I just want to be friends and nothing more without sounding like a dick? | not sure if a girl I'm talking to wants to be more than just friends, how do I tell her I don't want it?? |
t3_3kti3p | dating_advice | I just can't wrap my head around this girl | So here I am, I'm 18 years old, in College (IU, Go Hoosiers), and there's this girl in my dorm. The problem is, I don't know how I feel about her. Sure, there are tons of other girls, attractive one's at that, not to say that this one specific girl, girl x, isn't attractive. Also, I don't know that I want to get involved with someone that I'll be seeing on a fairly regular basis, (in the event that it all goes Waterloo, with me being napoleon, of course). Plus, I don't know for positive sure how to approach this situation at all. I mean, I'm here for an education and everything else that happens is secondary, but it's starting to get hard to concentrate. I'm beginning to wonder of its all in my head, or if it's like that episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry meets that woman who is basically him but female and they get along great until he realizes that they are too much alike. Because honestly, it's like we have the same thought processes on lots of things, (how we act, how we do things, how we orient our schedules, etc), but I just can't tell if I appreciate her for being her, or if I find the fact that someone thinks the same way I do attractive. And maybe this is all due to a lack of communication (I'm not a real big talker, I prefer to listen, formulate a response, and would like to know what the hell i'm about before i start to talk).
So, based on what I've provided, what should I do, because, If you couldn't tell, I'm not the best when it comes to forging interpersonal relationships, which is not to say that I'm bad at it, just a little rougher around the edges than most. Also, If you would like more information, or anything like that, please feel free to ask, but be aware that I won't see it for at least an hour, as I have work to do. Thank you for your time. | There's a girl in my dorm that I don't know If I should pursue or not, plz halp. plz. |
t3_398uob | relationships | I [25/F] feel like I've outgrown my friends. Do I let them go? | I have a few friends that I have known since high school and still keep in touch with. As much as I love them, however, I don't enjoy spending time with some of them. Is it possible to love these people but still feel as if I've "outgrown" them? There's nothing specific about them that stands out as being bad, toxic, or negative to me. They're all hard-working, intelligent, kind people. I just would rather do my own thing than show up and force conversation for a few hours.
I don't want to burn bridges, as these are genuinely good people who I care about, but I also don't want to keep evading and making excuses for why I'm unavailable. A part of me feels obligated to keep up these friendships, but I know that things just aren't the same anymore. | Feels like I've outgrown some friendships but love them and feel obligated to keep up the friendships, what do? |
t3_4ccnl5 | relationships | I [17 M] am trying to figure out my feelings for this [17 F] girl | In the past six months, I've liked two girls, but neither really worked out. The first said she just saw me as a friend when I asked her out, and the other just started dating another guy before I could get around to asking her too later. I'm still good friends with both of them, but I feel this sense of failure or regret that these crushes didn't work out.
Recently, my best friend started trying to set me up with his girlfriend's best friend. I'm sort of acquainted with her but don't know her too well. She's attractive to me but we don't really have anything in common and she's very different from my previous two crushes. I'm still slightly interested in her though, so I end up getting her number and begin talking to her a bit. Things are going pretty well, but I still don't really like her as more than a friend yet.
Then, just the other night, my friend and his gf tell me that this girl actually has had a huge crush on me all year and thinks that I sort of like her too. This is a huge ego boost for me, who's literally never had any success with girls, so of course now my interest is piqued. I start talking to her more, and while we're better friends now, I still don't feel quite the same level of attraction to her as I did my past two crushes. I can't seem to let go of my attraction to them and the sense of regret, and that's holding me back. I also feel like I might like her because she's a girl that I actually have a chance with, and I don't want to date her out of desperation either. I don't want to rush things, but I've heard from my friend, who's been hearing both sides of the relationship, that this girl really wants to date me soon, and has even been considering asking me out soon - maybe even next week.
What should I do? Could I be correct in that I like her just out of desperation, and should I change things based on that? How do I accept and let go of the regret with my past two crushes? | Got rejected twice. Friend sets up with his girlfriend's bff. She has a huge crush on me, and I sorta like her, but I don't know if that's just desperation after my past two failures. |
t3_33eidz | relationships | I (M16) have a problem. Every time I fall in love with a girl/go into a relationship, I get depressed. | Hello Reddit.
I currently have a small problem. Well, I guess it's not small. A medium problem rather.
Currently, I have fallen in love with a great gal (16F), and we've talked and hanged out for about 3-4 months. If she feels the same for me, is an entirely different story.
Only recently, I've had problems with getting easily depressed when I'm not with her, or if she doesn't respond to my texts.
I feel like this might ruin the potential relationship, because I might come off as impatient and depressed, and that might destroy her perception of me. Which then starts a whole new vicious cycle of sadness, where I get worried that there might never actually be anything between us.
I've felt like that's already happening, because the way she speaks, and refers to me, has changed drastically over the last few weeks. Let's say, 2 weeks ago, she would call me up, almost once a day, every week, and we'd talk for a good 30mins-1 hour. If I was to call her up today, she prolly wouldn't answer.
What should I do, and why does this happen? | I get depressed/sad whenever I get into a relationship/am head over heels in love with someone. Might ruin potential relationship because of it. |
t3_3smref | relationships | How can I (25F) slow down and stop worrying about where everything is going? Causing lots of personal problems | Maybe someone who is similar can help with this. I'm having a lot of problems trying to just be happy in small situations. I don't really know how to describe this. For example, my relationships are always really serious, really fast. And while that makes me happy...its not particularly healthy and usually ruins the relationship.
I have problems being alone. I get anxious if I have a SO and am away from them. I have a LOT of problems trying to just focus on myself and be by myself and do something which is supposed to just relax me or be enjoyable in the short term. I just CANT stop thinking 'what's the point of this?', 'where is this going?', 'what should I be doing and achieving for my age?'.
I desperately want to learn how to be happy with just myself and not have to need someone else constantly needing me or being around. As you can probably guess, I am the kind of person to ask questions in relationships that no one can answer such as 'do you want to be with me for x period of time?'. Shit like that.
I know its stupid because I'm young and I've quite honestly achieved a lot for my age. But I know the longer I leave this complex/problem, the more its going to plauge me.
I don't WANT to be that person who can't be alone or always needs a SO. How can I work on this?? | I have attachment issues (too fast, too soon) and want to learn how to make myself happy and not constantly rely on someone needing me. |
t3_1ibakn | relationship_advice | My [23 F] boyfriend [23 M] is apparently racist and homophobic | I don't know what to do. I care a lot about my boyfriend, we "dated" a few months at the end of last year and then I broke it off for unrelated reasons to the current problem. We got back together about 4 months ago. I've known the whole time that he's pretty racist. I actually know a lot of people who are since I live in the metro Detroit area. I choose to not generalize that an entire race is substandard. I think it's absurd. Anyway, I just try to ignore the ignorant things he says most of the time. We both have young children from previous relationships, He made a comment about disowning his son if he found out he was gay. I was absolutely floored by this. He also told me he was thinking about getting his first tattoo (I have a couple.) I asked him what of, and he replied A SWASTIKA. Before you go off saying swastikas have other meanings, I know that. The discussion we had led to me realizing he honestly believes in eugenics. I am so confused and worried. Can I make it work with someone so filled with hate and ignorance? I'm bisexual and an atheist while he is "a believer" and his parents are also quite religious. I don't mind it, but the fact that they would look down on me if they knew bothers me. My boyfriend is aware of both of these aspects of my life though. Please help if you have any advice to give.... I'm worried this is a deal breaker. | Boyfriend is racist and a homophobe, trying to figure out if we can make this work since our beliefs are so incredibly different. |
t3_lim80 | AskReddit | I need help. Just found out my 14 year old son got to feel up his girlfriend for the first time. | Now being a Dad, I had a smidge of pride when I found out but then realized I wouldn't want that happening to my daughter. My wife found out by busting into his FB account and reading his messages to said girlfriend.
Problem 1 - The wife is pissed. I refrained from asking her when the first time she was felt up. Needless to say, we are a pretty liberal family but she believes 14 is too young.
Problem 2 - He is increasingly becoming more sneaky about it. I took him, his girlfriend and my younger son to the movies. They saw one movie and me and my youngest saw another. If she comes over, they go for a "walk" down to the park for some slap and tickle (just guessing there).
Problem 3 - His little head is thinking a lot more for him than his big head.
Overall he's a good kid (grades are good, plays sports and does his chores, for the most part), so what kind of punishment should I dole out to make sure he understands that he is pushing the limits and makes my wife not want to kill me for "taking it easy on him"? | My 14 y.o. son has my wife pissed for feeling his gf up, how should he be punished? |
t3_1m0cch | relationship_advice | Been seeing the same girl (20) for the past 6 months, what happens next? | I (21/m) am between wanting to move our relationship from just a regular friend with benefits towards being more than just friends, but she doesn't see eye to eye on it with me. I'm fine with it being the way it is, but at the same time, it has been half a year, and we've been going from doing couple stuff to friend stuff. I do know that there is more "like" coming from my end than hers, but at the same time its like a part-time lover, full-time friend deal. At times I think it's better if I just tell her we should stop seeing each other like this, but I feel like it would just push our friendship over the edge. Other times I don't understand why she doesn't see what I do for her and would do if she trusted me enough to know that we'd be something good. Thanks! | We've been seeing each other a while, I like her more than she likes me, what is the best move for both of us? |
t3_ede38 | AskReddit | Reddit, I know you're better than this, can't we just fucking link to the artist's website? | I keep seeing comics submitted to r/comics and even r/pics that are hosted on other websites. And every fucking time, the top voted comment goes along the line of "[Please link to the artist's website] with a link to the comic on the website.
I mean, they are wonderful comics, indeed. But the artists who made them at least deserves credit, and any upsurge in traffic to their site (especially from reddit) I'm sure would be greatly appreciated, even if it brings their website to the knees!! I mean, I know. I used to make webcomics, and boy it's a great joyful feeling to have your servers destroyed by the onslaught of popularity.
So, please, have the reddiquettic decency to link to the artist's website when you post comics to reddit? | FUCKING LINK TO THE FUCKING ARTIST'S FUCKING WEBSITE WHEN YOU FUCKING SUBMIT FUCKING COMIC TO FUCKING REDDIT YOU FUCK!!! |
t3_3keisd | legaladvice | [NY] Flatmate busted for weed, student conduct officer asked me to meet. | So on the first night of college, I was sitting in my dorm on my computer. Next door, my flatmate was having a bit of a party, pretty loud, and then the police showed up to my dorm. I opened my door to see two police officers talking to my flatmate and a few other people. I asked what was going on, they took my ID, wrote down my information, and asked to come into my room to look for weed. I had nothing to hide, so I let them. An officer came in, sniffed around, looked under my bed, and confirmed that I didn't have anything.
Now, however, I got an official letter from the student conduct office asking to meet, which also came with a few flyers for the student advocacy groups. It also came with a copy of the police report, which mentions my name as an 'Involved Person', but doesn't mention me at all in the actual incident description. Is there anything I need to know/do, or should I just go to the meeting confident that they won't try to frame me for something. | Flatmate got busted for weed, my name ended up on the police report, got a summons to the student conduct office. What do? |
t3_25vb54 | relationships | Me [25/F] been together withy my fiancé that is almost double my age for more than 2 years now. What do I do about his kids? | He's a redditor and I really hope he doesn't find is post. Might even delete it in a few days, just in case.
Anyway, been with my fiancé for more that 2 years now and we live together. We are very much in love and I cannot imagine my life without him. We fit not just sexually, but mentally as well. He's like the manly version of me. But he was married and has 2 kids, one of them being almost my age.
And now, al of a sudden, he wants his kids, both boys, to move in with us. I haven't even met his kids so for me the concept that he even has them is still strange. I got so used to being just me and him and I don't want to lose that. More importantly, I don't want to be a mother at this age. If I wanted kids, I would've made my own.
But I also don't want to tell him how I feel, when I don't even know what it's like. I haven't even given it a chance. But the thought is killing me. Everything is going to be so different and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I know it's just 1 year or 2 , but even afterwards, he's still gonna have kids.
I seriously don't know how to handle this situation. I love him dearly and I want to make him happy. | Me [25/F] been together withy my fiancé that is almost double my age for more than 2 years now. What do I do about his kids? |
t3_g2a51 | AskReddit | Dear Americans, why are low taxes so important to you? | I guess a lot of Americans want to keep taxes low so they can spend their money whichever way they like. As a Swede (used to some pretty stiff taxes) who has lived in the US I'm a bit unsure about the low tax situation. Too high taxes are of course not good, but on the other hand people tend to be short sighted in their decisions. The results may be that people spend money on things that bring them prosperity now instead of in the long term.
If you buy a TV, stereo, low quality couch etc. their long term value is very low. Yes you got them cheap but in the long run, if that money was invested elsewhere it could give even greater returns. I believe the state can be (assuming it's not too corrupt) better at long term investments. Laws should also be such that they spur these kinds of investments.
My first though when getting to the US was, sadly, this place looks like shit. Roads: shit, powergrid: shit, houses: shit... but hey at least I have a huge TV. The issue seems to be that everything is spent on short term stuff. Things that cost a lot but also generate value over a long time are simply ignored, why make a house well built when you can just burn it down and build a new one in ten years? The result is the worlds richest country looking pretty third world. An example: Electrical wires, always above ground in the US, cheap to build, easy to break, looks like shit. Invest in underground ones instead and you get lasting quality but no...
All in all maybe spending priorities should change in the US, and maybe giving states more cash to spend on infrastructure and education is a good start. Or maybe getting those skis which I use once every 2 years 6% cheaper is more important... | People are dumb, spend their money on crap, maybe taxes would be spent more wisely (assuming a fairly good government) |
t3_2hys7y | relationships | Me [19/F] dating an Omani international student [21/M]. He's keeping it a secret in fear of backlash from other students from his country... | So me and my boyfriend have been together for a few weeks. He's been a great guy to me and he's absolutely wonderful as a boyfriend. Here's the problem though: he insists on keeping our relationship a secret because the traditions in Oman are apparently very strict with dating standards and he fears serious backlash such as losing his position as president of the Omani Student Association in our university or them (the other Omani students who he is friends with) telling his family about his affairs.
Out of respect for him, I've kept it on the downlow save for my close friends. But it's really starting to bug me how he's not even trying to give honesty a shot. His friends already know he hangs out and studies with me. He's even introduced me to them, but only as a friend and not his girlfriend. I know Oman may have strict traditions, but I'm pretty sure his friends aren't stupid and probably have an idea of what's going on. He just won't say anything to them.
Secondly, he plans to be here in the country on a scholarship for at least 3 more years. However, after that, it's unsure where he'll be. If anything, I'm just not comfortable with the thought of being together for three years, keeping it a secret the whole time, and the prospect of him not even trying to keep what we have in the end. I know it's early to think about this but I really want to know how to approach this situation.
Are any of you Omani? Can you guys give any input on dating him? Should I keep going with him because he's a good guy or am I just wasting my time? | My boyfriend is an Omani international student who keeps our relationship a secret from his friends who are also Omani because he's afraid of what consequences may arise from breaking traditions in his home country. |
t3_3p40s3 | tifu | TIFU by overreacting to my wife farting like a pregnant wildebeest. | So my wife rarely farts, and when she does, it's nothing more than a 'poof'. We had just finished eating some Wendy's cheeseburgers when she rips the juiciest longest fart. Now I am probably the fartiest person I know. I take pride in just how unreal some of the sounds coming from my asshole can be. I never hold them in, because fuck that. I've really desensitized my wife over the years, but for some reason when she let's a giant fucking prub, I don't know how to react. I stared at her in horror over the couch-shaker she just released. She's dying laughing. I jokingly tell her that in order to assert my dominance over how disgusting that was, I'm going to take a shit on the living room floor. She says I would never do it in a million years, because "I'm not that kind of guy". This is when I turn into Marty McFly getting called Chicken. I'm thinking, my wife really doesn't know how low I'll go to come out on top of this situation. So I grab a taco bell bag from the coffee table, squatted down on the floor, and bombs away right into that bag. The whole room immediately smelled like my 300+ lb rectum. I run into the kitchen with the shit bag proclaiming my victory. My wife promptly begins emptying her Wendy's burger filled stomach all over our wood tile floor. The whole fucking meal. She starts screaming at me that her puking is all my fault (which it was) and that I get to clean up all her puke while she takes a shower. So her I am 15 minutes later, trying to get this all onto reddit before I forget. Front page status will be my only redemption. | My wife farted, I took a shit in a bag on the floor, wife throws up her entire dinner on the floor, my sorry ass sitting her redditing while the puke dries on the floor. |
t3_3wyvhr | relationships | I [22 M] was invited to a christmas party by my friend [25 F] and I'm not sure I should go | Hello,
A friend of mine at my university invited me to a christmas party later this month. I used to hang out with a group of her friends frequently, we were good friends, I enjoyed the time I was with them, and they said they did too. But then it just kind of stopped a few months ago. It was fairly abrupt.
They just stopped talking to me, or trying to make plans with me. When I tried to make plans with them, they said they were busy, but some other time for sure! I eventually gave up, and we haven't spoken since the end of august.
So this invite was kind of out of the blue. I wasn't good friends with the person who invited me, but she's good friends with the previously mentioned group, so they will be there. I'm not sure if I should go. | used to be friends with people, they stopped talking to me for months, was just invited to their christmas party. |
t3_43gq4k | relationships | I [24M] always seem to get stuck in Casual Sex Relationships. Latest with [24F] but I want to confirm it so I can quit before I get involved | Hey there,
So for the past 2 years I've been casually dating/sleeping with different girls, Tinder has been a great help to actually talk to someone without being socially awkward, and has boosted my confidence greatly.
The past year though I've wanted more, I'm over sleeping around and ultimately would like a relationship with someone, but most dates I have been on would end in either a text the next day saying "Sorry you're great but we didn't click" - "Hey just a heads up I'm after something casual" - or end in sex then continued sex which turns into casual sex after I get attached, so then I'm emotionally involved and end up upsetting myself from cutting ties to that person (because I don't want casual sex).
The past month I had been texting a girl, Sarah, everyday and a lot of back and forth messages, having a really good conversation. We finally met up and I took her out to dinner, everything was great, we got a long really well. After dinner I drove Sarah home and we didn't hug, awkwardly said goodbye. She then sent me a text saying sorry for being awkwardly, she's shy, all that jazz.
Second date, we slept together, but she mentioned how she had only recently started seeing people after breaking up with her Ex 5 months ago. Which makes me think she's after something casual, although she does still message me a fair bit and plans to see me again.
Basically, how do I get out of the casual cycle? How can I bring it up with her without...scaring her off?
Ughhhhh | Keep having casual sex, I want a relationship. What's a good way to be upfront without seeming desperate? I'm all about going with the flow but not if it's ending up going nowhere. |
t3_1a3gwe | relationship_advice | [20/f] caught in a love triangle with [21/m] and [19/f]. Help! | Alright guys, so I'm dating this guy. He lives at my house with my mom and brother two hours from my college campus where I live. We've been together for about three years, breaking up a few times and then getting back together.
Things have been rough. It just so happened that I'd always been a bit bi-curious and had the opportunity to hook up with a girl at my high school. She's a bit odd. Artsy dancer type. So wonderful though. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and over the past couple years, we've kind of seen each other and hooked up a couple more times. She drives me crazy with the way she looks at me, and she's constantly on my mind.
I just got off of spring break at school, and her and I had made plans without telling my boyfriend, to see each other. Not planning any naughty business, just to talk. She bailed last second, saying she couldn't go out or something and then told me that she was tired of me choosing my boyfriend over her.
I know this is super long, but bear with me here. In a startling moment of clarity, I realized how much I care about her and how messed up being with my boyfriend is. I told her that I would break up with him if she wanted to make a legitimate effort to be with me.
She said that that's all she's wanted for a long time, but is leaving for college in 5 months 12 hours away from me. What do I do? Do I try to let her go and make it work with my boyfriend or do I leave my boyfriend and chase this fantasy girl? | I've been with a guy a long time, but told a girl that I would leave him for her. She said yes but we would only really have 5 months together. Help! |
t3_2n9s3t | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18F] dated for 2 years, my girlfriend says that i don't stand up for her | Hey, my girlfriend and i have been dating for a while and things have been going smoothly but there are some bumps here and there. In a recent argument, she said that i never stand up for her and that i never defend her. That hurt like a bitch but i took it in and thought about it. Im insecure, and im always afraid of speaking up. No one has ever done anything to her when im with her however, she says that in some classes a guy annoys her. I'm guessing that is what she is referring to when she says i dont stand up for her. As i said im insecure and im afraid of speaking up, but if i go talk to the guy what do i say, how do i address the situation seeing that i barely know the guy. Also people here tend to physically fight alot for stupid reasons and thats why i dont speak up much. Also a fight here is not a one on one thing its usually a guy brings his friends and the other does too. I dont have many friends and no older brothers so if it resorts to a fight i wouldnt know what to do. I just want to show my girlfriend that i love her and i truly do. | As an insecure person how do i stand up or defend my girlfriend without making it a huge deal and it turning into a fight |
t3_316j8x | Advice | What path should I choose.. | I'm not exactly sure where to start. So for anybody reading this thanks.
About a year ago I met this girl. Now I've had my fair share of girlfriends and flings. But she was different. Spectacular in every way. Like the kind of girl you should marry. After a couple of months of meeting her I found out she broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years, a monts later we're dating. I've never been so happy. For her Christmas present I took her to meet my family in Manhattan. (We live in the UK, and I've never wanted to take any other girl there, just to explain the extent of how much I love this girl.)
Before I met her; I had planned to travel to Australia. I lived at my friends parents house for a couple years saving up. But she unintentionally changed my plans.
About a month ago, she bumped into her ex boyfriend. She said, she had a rush of feelings and didn't know why she felt the way she did. She pretty much immediately told me this and we broke up 2 days after she told me. I can't be with somebody who doesn't know what they want?
We carried on talking because I knew that it was a short phase. He treated her like shit. I couldn't have treated her with more respect, love etc.
She now realises this and we're talking again. She regrets ever doing what she done. We're seeing each other every other day. I've told her that when we broke up I planned to go to Australia. But I think we are rekindling our relationship that was so perfect. I've never been happier with any other girl. She literally is my best friend.
What do I do? Go to Australia. Bearing in mind I will have to stay in the UK for another couple of years to save enough money to go.
Or stay and try and rekindle this relationship?
Or any other option?! | I love this girl. Dated for 8/9 months. Broke up, still talking, might get back together, do I go to Australia or not. |
t3_34muok | legaladvice | Divorced parents [US CT/MA] - school cost? College/High School | I lived in CT with the family for many years, but am now divorced and living in MA. Ex wife and daughter (15) live in CT. Son (20) is in college in NH.
I agreed to pay $1500/month as 'unallocated support'. Ex will take care of kids and all costs (clothes, lessons, camps, etc.). Daughter is in private boarding high school. Cost is $6000/year total. Yeah, huge financial aid. Son's college is $20,000 year. Also huge aid. Smart kids.
Our divorce agreement says we agree to share costs of private high school. It also says the court retains jurisdiction over college.
I am living very cheaply - renting a room in someone eles' house, no car (either user motorbike or mass transit), etc. I have about $300/month available as disposable income. Ex wants me to take out loans of $11000 to pay for school.
Do I have legal liability for paying for college? I'm thinking I'll pay $3000 for that private high school, and son will have to take his own loans. | I agreed to too much as 'unallocated support' and now can't pay for college and get a decent place to live myself. |
t3_13a5t1 | AskReddit | I once accidentally made my mother believe I was lost in a foreign country for a week when my phone died. Reddit, what unfortunate coincidences led to a humorous but huge misunderstanding? | I was studying abroad in college a few years ago and had gone to Barcelona, Spain for spring break with a group of my friends. I had gotten separated from them for hours trying to climb a mountain path and ended up horribly lost. I was beginning to get dark, and none of my friends had working cell phones on this trip, so I started making my way back to the hostel alone. As this was away from the city and I knew no spanish, I was reasonably worried and did what any sensible 20 yr old male would do- called my mom. I told her I was separated from my friends in Barcelona and was lost, she went into panic mode asking where I was, am I okay, etc... I was able to respond with "I'm okay, but it's getting dark and I have no clue where I am. We went out away from the city so I don't even know how to get back. " As soon as I finished that sentence my phone ran out of minutes and it hung up. I made it back eventually but had no way to contact my mother to let her know for at least 4 or 5 days. I found out later she was freaking out, crying, and had to be prevented from actually going to Spain to set out to rescue me. I felt so bad, but now we laugh about it. Well, I laugh about it at least. | I got lost in Spain and called my mom just before my phone died, letting her believe I was in serious trouble for almost a week |
t3_52sz4q | relationships | My (18F) boyfriend (18M) is going away for college. What do? | My boyfriend and I are your typical high school sweethearts. We were crushing on each other for years but managed to confess and get together only about two months ago (I actually posted an Ask Reddit thread on the subject). Which sucks a lot because he's going away for college in two days. He'll be on a busy schedule since he enrolled an art academy and will have classes for 9 hrs a day.
We both like each other a lot a lot and I really don't want this to end. What are good ways to keep in touch while long distance? Any help or advice is much appreciated. Have a nice day, reddit! | Bf is off to college and I'm stuck at home- how do we keep in touch, considering that he has a busy schedule? |
t3_1hf5ar | relationships | How do I tell my (24F) boyfriend (25M) to shower without offending him? | Throwaway account because this is a bit personal, lol.
My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years, he's amazing and I love him to death, but his lack of personal hygiene is disgusting. He frequently goes more than a week without showering, never brushes his teeth, and I can't remember the last time I saw him wash his hands.
He also wears the same underwear, sometimes for more than a week straight, unless I take them and put them in the wash as soon as he takes them off. He often smells really bad and I don't know how to tell him.
Personal hygiene has always been a deal-breaker for me, but as I said I really love him and he wasn't this bad when we first got together. However, it's starting to affect our relationship.
My boyfriend is a very attractive, sexy man, but when he's this dirty and smelly I feel almost repulsed by him. We hardly have sex anymore, and this is largely because of the hygiene issue.
When we do have sex, I almost always get a UTI because he's not clean enough. I mentioned to him once that I kept getting them, and that it's very common for women, especially if her partner isn't as clean as he should be down there.
He got really offended that I was "accusing" him of giving me UTI's, so I haven't brought it up since then. I want to have sex with him, but I don't want to keep getting constant infections.
I've told him before that he should shower more often, and he said "yeah" but it never happened.
I've bought him a new toothbrush, and reminded him repeatedly to brush his teeth for his own oral health (didn't want to just tell him his breath smells), but he just says he "never thinks of it".
I really want to deal with this, because it's actually starting to make me feel sick, but I don't know how to bring it up without upsetting him.
Tact isn't always my strongest trait, and I hate arguing because we both end up getting upset. | My boyfriend has poor personal hygiene and it's affecting our relationship. How do I tell him to clean himself up without coming across as nasty? |
t3_httw9 | AskReddit | Had my first "Oh fuck, I can't breathe!" moment with acid reflux last night. Anyone else familiar with this? | So in a moment of crappy willpower (because I'm on a diet) and stupidity (because I have [GERD] I ate three tacos and downed a large Dr. Pepper before going to bed last night. All seemed well and I fell asleep pretty quickly.
Four hours later, I'm shocked awake by an overpowering burning sensation in my throat and a taste which I recognize as stomach acid. However, I immediately realize that I can't breathe. I immediately sit up and desperately try to swallow so I can clear my throat, yet swallowing is extremely difficult. Worse still, once I do clear the acid out of my throat I realize that my throat is completely closed up. Only through great effort do I manage to pull in a small breath, then another, then another, until finally my throat opens up and I start hacking and wheezing to catch my breath. The whole thing was over in like 15 seconds but it felt like forever.
Once I catch my breath, I become aware of a lot of pressure in my stomach. I then release a *huge* amount of gas from my stomach, at least three really big belches worth, and realize that the gas must've forced acid up into my throat and closed off my larynx. I'd heard of larynx spasms before and how they can temporarily make breathing nearly impossible.
So now that I'm wide awake, I do a little online research before risking going back to bed. I find out that this is apparently a somewhat common occurrence for people with acid reflux that eat just before bed, and I guess I'm just lucky and haven't had it happen until now.
So I'm wondering if anyone else has had this happen. Has anyone on Reddit ever had this rude awakening? If so, how often can I expect it to happen, and what did you do that really worked to control it? | Ate before bed, woke up hours later with acid in my throat and my larynx forced shut, couldn't breathe for about 10-15 seconds. |
t3_1ntt58 | relationship_advice | Should I [17/m] ask her [17/f] out? High school crush... | Sooo, I've had this thing for this friend of mine. Been crushing on her for about 2 years now. She's a really, really down-to-earth person. Not really a social butterfly, but she gets along with people, and she hates, HATES bullies or people who generally take advantage of others. Artsy fella, leads the Arts Honors Society, etc... Really imaginative and open-minded fella.
Now, this year (our senior year), I've decided that it's now or never. We've hung out over the last two years, we've had lunch together every day this year and the previous. We talk a LOT. Plus we're planning to see Desolation of Smaug during winter break.
Anyways, we had our homecoming dance today, and during the week neither she and I were planning to go. Then I was forced into going by my mother, and I texted her about it while we were talking about the event. She decided to go then (which surprised me because she thanked me for telling her I was going) and during the dance we chilled the whole time. She danced with me, chatted with me, etc..
At the end of the dance, I offered a hand up for a high five. She grabbed it and gave me a hug instead, which really shocked me. Because it's known amongst all our friends that she has horrible, HORRIBLE personal space issues. She never initiates anything physical with anyone, not even high fives or fist bumps with her best friends (most of which are girls. She has nearly no guy friends besides me and like two other dudes)
Sooo it was surprising. And I'm thinking maybe I have chance?
What's your opinion Reddit?? Help me out please... And if you need to know anything else about us I'll answer, if it helps. | I like this girl from my school who may or may not return similar feelings for me. Should I ask her out? |
t3_3ldys1 | tifu | medium TIFU by ripping my friend's mighty wallet. | TIFU, yes actually today. I've always waited for a good FU to post on here. Anyways, I'm a guy in high school, so me and my friends do stupid things in class when we're bored. My friend has a TyVek Wallet that he claimed couldn't be ripped. In Chemistry I told him that I could probably rip it. He doubted it, and two other guys got involved. These two other guys both play sports, (I play sports too but it's soccer and I'm generally considered unathletic) a football player and a baseball player. Football player goes first, he can't rip the wallet. Baseball player can't rip it either, Football player goes to the bathroom, baseball player turns around, and now I get my turn at it. I examine it for a few seconds and then I rip it. The owner of the wallet looks at me in disbelief. I apologize and offer to buy him a new wallet. "No, BlastedBiggs I'm impressed." "Does this give me some cred?" "Yes BlastedBiggs you've got some major cred." Football player gets back and owner says "BlastedBiggs ripped it!" "No way" "Yeah he just took it and ripped it." Minutes pass and they begin to question how I did it. "I just found the sweet spot I guess." Well, the owner tries to find the sweet spot and then he rips the other side. Then the excitement of the situation wears off and for the rest of the class I hear "Well, this sucks" followed by "What the chum, this sucks." I continue to offer him to buy a new one, but he claims he doesn't want me to. Now I feel guilty. Not gonna lie, I'm not sure if this is a humblebrag or a TIFU. You tell me. | I told my friend I could rip his TyVek wallet, and then I actually did after two sports guys couldn't. Now his wallet is torn, and I'm torn on the situation. |
t3_534hpg | relationships | How to get over my only love (19f), me(19m)? | Well, I loved only one person.I fell in love only once and can't fall in love again.Well when I was younger I wasn't interested in relationship and I didn't fall in love(i liked some girls really from appearance, was atracted, but...)
Later I also wasn't, but I fell in love and since then I didn't look on other girls, wasn't atracted even by some beatiful girls.I would like to find someone, but I can't fall in love with someone else.I wan't but I can't
She feels nothing to me and I never confessed my love
Now, we will be studying in different cities, I will miss her and still love her.For some time I thought she deserved more than me, maybe even now, but this got better.It's devastating.These thoughts are coming back every day.
What to do? | I love a girl, I can't be with.I am unable to fall in love again.It's devastating.How to forget about it, how to make myself able to fall in love? |
t3_420lu4 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my (in all but name) girlfriend [16 F], I've never actually dated anyone before, I'm scared as hell about two things. | I'm 17 and I've been homeschooled my whole life. Recently at a party at a friend's house, I met this girl who I'd met several times before, but for some reason this time in particular I really wanted to talk. We talked for a while, and found out we had similar senses of humor, interests, music, the works.
I've been talking to her for almost 2 weeks now, and all my friends are telling me to ask her out. I want to, I really do! But There's two things that are keeping me from doing it....
First, this is the really scary one, so I thought I might as well just put it out there. I fucked up my early highschool education, and I didn't want to re-do it. So instead I decided to take my local community college's GED (prep) course. Now, this isn't something I *have* to tell her about, but I want to be honest, and I don't want to lie about my education... I feel guilty about needing to take this easy way out, and it sounds really bad. I **know** I'm not stupid, I took my first course and I got an A! What should I do about it?
Second, like I said in the title, I've never actually dated someone before. I don't know where the line is for romance, or even how *to* romance. I've never kissed a girl before, and I barely even hug other people. I'm super awkward, and I'm also scared that it's just going to turn into another lame teenage relationship drama that ends badly. | How should I tell her about my fuckup education wise, and how can I give her the things that girls want, if I'm an awkward potato? |
t3_2hq20c | tifu | Tifu by keeping a gun from my ex military days. | So this Tifu isn't actually mine, but my friend who doesn't have reddit, but wants people to know his story.
I am using made up names and places in this to keep privacy but this isn't a throwaway account.
(I will be using first person for ease)
Context: I am a body builder and personal trainer. I met my*ex* wife as a client. I thought I loved her, and I thought what we had was special. I guess I was wrong. So, before I was a trainer, I was in the military, (British).
The Fuck up
When I left, I kept a pistol, having forgotten about it.
So many years pass and my wife knows about it, we are all good and fine. Then she cheats on me, and looks for an excuse to break up with me. She goes to the police and tells them about the gun which I've had for years,and haven't touched it. So one night the police come as and full on raids my house as if I had Fucking garage hostages. So they find out and I have to go to court and I have a high chance to go to jail. Fml. | Ex wife gets me sent to court in order to break up with me and get custody of our kids and all my money and possessions. |
t3_sgjw1 | AskReddit | Went out to cheer a friend up by grabbing a few beers, ended up spending whole night doing cocaine, and eventually sleeping through my alarm and being an hour late for work. Does reddit have any stories of nights spiraling out of control? | One of my friends is . . A character. He just ended his most recent fling with a crazy cracked out stripper(more information available on request) and was pretty bummed out, so when I got off work I took him out for some brews. It went as planned, and several pitchers later we headed back to my house, where my fiance was hanging out with one of our good friends. More alcohol was consumed, and my buddy decided to pick up some coke. Now, im no teetotaler, or stranger to cocaine, but I have an elevated heart rate so I tend to avoid it, but apparently last night drunken-me was all "bring it on". 8 hours later we were still up and both had to work at 11, so we hit a breakfast spot and got some bloody marys(were from wisconsin, so when booze makes you feel bad, more booze is the go to cure) and then for some reason went to my parents house to watch tv. Were 25 and I don't live at home. Anyways, the minute we hit the couch we pass out. Next thing I know I should've been at work an hour ago, feel like dirty brown water trash and my nose is cemented shut. And my buddy? Just called in to work and went back to sleep without waking me. I am now at work with a splitting headache, awaiting an inevitable (and justified) tongue lashing/hopefully not firing from my boss. And drinking a 24 ounce pbr, because once again, im from wisconsin. Please reddit, share some stories to make me not feel like such a degenerate. | got drunk, inhaled way too much cocaine, and feel like garbage at work. At least til I finish this beer |
t3_3guafb | relationships | Text from my [22,M] ex [22,F]. Have ignored it, but it's bothering me... | Had a ~2 year relationship end about 7 weeks ago. She told me she didn't think she loved me anymore. I contacted her a few days later to arrange giving some stuff back she would need, but she wouldn't meet me anywhere. We live 2 hours away during the summer, so I had wanted to just meet her somewhere public & halfway, but whatever. Haven't talked to her since.
Just got a text from her last night saying " Please don't think I never think about you... Because I do." I decided the best thing to do was just not respond & continue no contact. However, it's been a few days now & it's still massively bothering me. I know I don't owe her anything, but I still feel awful making anybody, even her, just sit there & wonder if I even got it.
So, I've put together this "response". Would this be appropriate? I don't plan on responding to anything else if she tries to continue a conversation, but I think sending this would make me feel a lot better about the situation. "It's against my better judgement to even text back, but I feel like an asshole just flat-out ignoring you. I did get your message, but I don't really have a response."
Any advice on how I should proceed? Send it? Continue to ignore? Say something else? I could really use an outside opinion. | Ex texts me to tell me she still thinks about me, after she broke up with me. Should I continue to ignore it, or just respond to let her know I got the message, but don't want to talk? |
t3_40nw6o | relationships | Me [21 M/] "dating" [24F] almost 4 months of seeing each other, andhave ran into a situation about texting her ex.. Need advice | Hello, I have been dating or should i say seeing this girl for almost 4 months. We met at a bar, and everything was going great. We have been spending a lot of time together, and doing "couple" things when we are out. I really like this girl, but she got out of a relationship about 7 months ago. Keep in mind it was a 4 year relationship. I clearly want a relationship but she is not ready to commit yet. I've talked to her about it and she told me that which is understandable. I told her I am willing to wait.
However, Something came up that really got to me. One day I saw she was texting her ex, and I kinda got upset. She quickly noticed that. I got sorta irritated because she was texting him in front of me. This is what led me on to a an argument later on.... 3 days past and i felt weird about things it was 'different" so i got a hold of her and asked if we can talk to diffuse what ever it was making us feel this way. I told her how i feel about the ex thing, and she apologized, and said it was wrong for doing that in front of you. She said if he does text her and she is with me she will do it on her own time.
Side note the ex lives in another state which she goes and visits her family almost once a month.
Question: What should I do?
After the conversation we had things have been back to normal and great, but what got to me was that she opened her messages infront of me and I saw a text from him. I didn't get a chance to see when he sent it, but he is still "I think" texting her. Should i talk to her again about it or just let it be. Since She is here with me and he is thousands of miles away.
Looking forward to the feedback | I've had issues with this situation in the past, and was wondering if i should not worry about this one or do something about it. |
t3_3e6ac2 | tifu | TIFU by calling a secretary at work 'the Black Widow'. | So last Friday was our work's end of financial year party. It was a boozy bender at a pub and a few of us were playing pool. I teamed up with one of the secretaries for a few games and we had a bit of a laugh.
Anyway, I was chatting to some mates at work today and she came up to us to say hello. So I thought I'd be witty and introduced her as the Black Widow. I was referring to Jeanette Lee, the American champion pool player nicknamed for her sweet but competitive attitude.
Except it turns out that, totally unbeknownst to me, the secretary's husband died a few years ago. And she is Sri Lankan.
She looked confused, I said, "because you played pool so well!", she awkwardly smiled and walked off. | I introduced a black widow to some friends as The Black Widow. Then tried wriggling out of her web of awkwardness. |
t3_2jgqt3 | pettyrevenge | Punish me while others go unnoticed!? | So I'm posting this before I have to go to lecture with my jerky teacher hoping my revenge is still noticeable.
I'm currently taking a Microbiology class at my local community college. This class requires a lab and a lecture which are considered separate classes. I have both with the same teacher.
In the syllabi for the classes my teacher demands ABSOLUTELY NO CELLPHONES with a bunch of penalties for each time you get caught with them. Perfect! I paid upwards of 700 bucks for this. I ain't redditing in class. So I keep my cellphone tucked away.
Last lecture a girl in my class (digression: who bothered me for the disgusting way she ate her three musketeers bar) was constantly texting throughout the entire two hour lecture. Not a peep from my teacher. She's sitting front row mind you. Absolutely nothing! Whatever. I'm not pulling out my phone just cause of that! No phones means no phones.
So in lab today we have a quiz. I turn mine in and it's taking the rest of the class forever to finish. I pull out my kindle for some sweet, sweet GOT reading time till everyone is done. The quiz is wrapped up, he's collecting papers. He comes to me with this stern father look (I'm 23. Sure I'm young but I'd say I'm an adult. Don't talk to me like a child!) and says, "You shouldn't have that out. Put it away right now! " OK. Class is starting anyway, you twat.
I started to think about that girl from last class and get more and more upset! He's seen me reading during break in lecture! Obviously it is a book and not a phone. Would he yell at me if I had an actual physical copy?!
So I get over it, listening to lab notes and then I noticed he had a HUGE pen mark on his face. I think, "I should tell him after class, I would hope someone would for me.". Then I say to myself, "Nah. Fuck him." and feel pretty damn satisfied. | teacher berates me for reading my kindle but doesn't tell girl off for texting throughout class. I let him walk around with a big pen mark on his face. Feeling satisfaction. |
t3_kppj4 | AskReddit | What are your worst experiences with anger? how do you deal with anger? | MY own worst experience with anger was when i was in 6th grade (in middle school i kinda had an anger/angst problem)
In an relaxed class where the teacher didn't really care (or couldn't do anything) and everyone pretty much went crazy, there were these two semi popular kids who were kind of assholes and would mess with me. They were kinda bullies but i don't think they were doing it to be mean, we were all little jerks in middle school. Anyway in the back of the room there were these stacks of boxes maybe 10-15 feet high and the two "bullies" took my shoes and threw them on top of the boxes. This wasn't a huge deal it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. I flipped out and took one of the kids (he was more of a sidekick and pretty stupid) and pushed him against the wall. i said something to him about messing with me or something and every time i stressed a word i hit his head against the concrete wall. The teacher never saw and when she found out and asked us to come to her little office thing to talk about what happened i go so scared because i had never been in trouble before. I told her we were just messing around and the bully just nodded his head and agreed with everything i'd said.
Another time i almost broke a kid's arm because he stole my twinkies. i got a time out. fuckin' middle school
I chilled out a lot in high school and adopted a more go with the flow attitude. Now whenever i get mad i try and calm myself down by going outside or eating some fruit, then i sing que sera, sera boisterously. | i hit a bully's head against the wall for messing with me, then later almost broke one's arm because he stole a twinkie. I like singing [que sera, sera}( |
t3_11ljcd | relationships | I [26/f] didn't think I was the jealous type until I started seeing a new guy [27/m] last month, and then met his close female friend. Looking for advice to get over insecurities. | I've been dating an incredible guy for a month or so [26/f & 27/m) , and I am quickly tumbling head over heals for him. We're still very early in our relationship obviously, but I can see us heading in an exclusive direction in the near future. We see each other very frequently, talk every day, have met each others' friends, have a great connection, etc.
Unfortunately, there's a ridiculous little problem, but a problem nonetheless. He has a lot of friends who are women, which I don't mind - they're cool ladies who I like a lot. I have a lot of guy friends, my ex had a lot of women friends, no big deal. I don't consider myself a jealous or distrusting person (normally), but the part that gets me is that his best friend is a woman.
Maybe I've been spending too much time on Reddit, but the thought popped into my head one day that maybe he really loves her, but she won't have him (or vice versa). Maybe I would be the one he's simply settling for while he pines for her. So many funny stories and memories they share! So many mutual interests! *They have cute nicknames for each other!* The thought is sitting in the back of my mind and now refuses to go away.
Let me repeat that I swear I'm normally not a jealous person, I hate thinking these things, and I'm aware that we are still in the "seeing each other" rather than a more serious boyfriend/girlfriend stage so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but... I have really high hopes for this guy and I don't want to let silly insecurities get in the way. He's really amazing, and I have no desire to come between him and his friends. If anyone has any advice for getting these thoughts out of my head, it would be much appreciated. | I'm probably being a silly fool with my jealousy of my new guy's female best friend, but I can't shut my evil thoughts up. Any advice on getting over this nonsense? |
t3_4pghfj | relationships | My [25M] girlfriend [22F] is a hypocrite and it rubs me the wrong way | I asked my mates about this but they were no help. I've been seeing Jane for half a year so our relationship is quite new. She's a lovely girl but quite an attention seeker, really. One bloke from her work, Jimmy, is into her and she loves all the attention he gives her. She doesn't help to remedy it much, calling him "husband" and "babe". When I ask, she says Jimmy's her "work husband" and not to get my knickers in a twist. Well that's rubbish. I went on about not having a "work wife", and mentioned a girl coworker, Trisha, that might be suited. At this point, Jane protested saying "Nope! How about X? (old, married, a safe pick)" and promptly changed the subject.
Jimmy has known my girlfriend for a long while, he has the same career, same background, Jane's said he would make a good boyfriend, he's shown interest in her and gives her attention. Trisha and I are platonic, no mention of anything between us, just coworkers who get along. Yet the thought of me calling her my "work wife" makes her protest, while she gets to gush over Jimmy and call him her "work husband". I haven't pointed out the contradiction cause I'm afraid we'll end up arguing. Any thoughts? | girlfriend gets a "work husband", shuts me down when I suggest having a "work wife", looking for advice on how to proceed. |
t3_4b16ip | relationships | Not sure if she likes me? | I'm a 15m and I like this [14f] girl but I'm not sure if she likes me back, is leading me on, playing hard to get, or just isn't interested.
I thought she might have been flirting with me because she was leaning towards me, doing tasks for me that I could've easily done, and "accidentally" bumping into me. I'm a bit shy, so I asked one of our mutual friends if she was single. I also asked her not to mention my name. She did anyways and the girl I liked said she didn't like me (this was over text if that matters). I know that 'no' means no and I stopped trying to pursue her. But even after I found out, she was still "accidentally" bumping hands, trying to close the space between where we sit, and helping me with easy tasks. I don't know if she's leading me on, I'm reading signals wrong, or she lied in the text (which seems unlikely since texting seems less personal). I'm just really confused. | Thought a girl was flirting with me, came up that she didn't like me, still seems like she's flirting with me even though I've tried to distance myself. |
t3_2wy84p | relationships | I [22M] don't feel the same way and don't want her [20F] to get hurt. What do I do? | I've been occasionally seeing this girl, Elizabeth for quite a long time now, nearly a year. We message each other regularly and have been on a couple of dates. We live in the same community, so we regularly bump into each other on nights out and have "cuddled" on many of these occasions, where I have stayed the night. I don't really see her much otherwise and to be honest it's been a pretty unclear relationship. Although, I did once tell her (a few months ago now) that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend / serious relationship.
The problem is I think Elizabeth might like me, and although we get along well, I don't think I feel the same way. I've been treating it very casually so far, but I don't want to lead her on (if I have been) any longer and I really don't want her to get hurt. I'm really bad with this stuff, so how should go about dealing with this situation?
I was thinking of meeting up with her to talk, but even then I wouldn't know what to say. To be honest, I could even be over-analysing the situation. Does anyone have any advice? | I've been regularly sleeping with and messaging a girl for a long time now. I think she might like me, but I'm not sure I feel the same way. What do I do? |
t3_350e28 | relationship_advice | [M18] My girlfriend [F17] will be moving away in 3 months, conflicting thoughts. | Well to start we're both seniors in highschool; been dating since Junior year (1.5 ish years) and shes going to college on the opposite coast (California-DC) at the end of August.
We talked recently and we've agreed that long distance isn't for us because we dont have a goal in mind, plus we'd see each other maybe 3 times a year if we're lucky. I want to end things and open up the summer and focus on myself more before I go to college and start meeting other people, but shes giving a lot of push back when I bring up the fact that were gonna break up in nearly 3 months. I loved this girl for a long time, especially in Highschool, and things are good for us now, but i'm ready to find something new and move on to the next chapter, and I have no idea how to tell her or go through with it.
Another concern of mine is how to handle it. Am I rational in thinking this or is it just me being silly? If so, how do I go about telling her I've lost interest, not in our friendship, but our relationship. I'm lost and don't know if anyones been here before so I can answer any questions you may have. | Highschool GF of 1.5 years is getting ready for college in 3 months, wants to break up then. Im done with the relationship now and can't figure out how to introduce the topic, let alone make any progress. |
t3_3wyk0y | relationships | Me [21, M] feel like I'm falling for a girl [19, F] but life is super complicated right now | I know this girl and we go really well together, and honestly I feel like I may be falling for her. We went out a little a few months ago and every time we went out, we had a great time. But she didn't want to sleep together until marriage, and frankly given the fact that I'm a senior and she's only a sophomore, I panicked a little. We broke it off as amicably as any breakup ever and we stayed great friends, but now romance is blooming again, this time harder than ever. I honestly can't stop thinking about her. But I'm afraid of commitment, and I know I may only have five months left in the area with her. I really don't know where to go, but I feel like if I graduate without trying a little harder with her I'd be making a mistake. | I really like this girl and think we're great together, but my head, my heart, and my dick are pulling me in three separate directions. Any advice? |
t3_1pbqbz | legaladvice | I discovered my dads a pervert, would like to know what legal actions I can take in case things get messy. | I'm in Washington state, US. I found a soiled pair of my wife's underwear, a bottle of lubriderm,and a CD-r full of private and family photos from our old computer. The CD had a file full of tasteful nudes (not my wife) that we made as a windows theme. Another file had 3 dirty pics and a video of my wife and I. I found one of those pictures as well as a few others moved to his computer. That disk was in OUR dresser in OUR room. We are living with my parents while we apply for a home loan and take care of some credit debt, and my parents tend to deny any thing they do wrong. For example, both of them refuse to acknowledge or even believe that their divorce as a result of both them having numerous affairs affected my sister and I as children. To them that whole situation is irrelevant because they themselves got over it, remarried and moved on. In this light, my biggest fear is them blowing it off like it isn't happening. So I've come here to build my case. From what little I've been able to read and understand, he invaded my privacy by stealing the CD from my room and taking personal pictures from it, not to mention the theft in general of the cd. My main concern is when my wife finds out. She is a loud, passionate, extremely hard working person. She will feel violated in a big way and will escalate the situation. Basically, I just want help building a case against him before I do anything because I just want to be able to show him that he can't run from this. He can't just shrug it off saying "you were a douche when you were young so I can do no wrong to you" like he usually does.
So, to sum up. I need help pointing out how he violated my rights and privacy, whether criminally or not. I cannot afford a lawyer so this will be my best bet. I have pictures of everything and plan on using a voice recorder for every time I talk to them about it. | dad's perving to my wife's dirty underwear and stole a CD of private pics from my room and put a few on his computer. Wanna know what legal actions I can take in case he denies it all. |
t3_j83rq | AskReddit | When I was 15 I had a surgery on my ingrown toenails that mutilated my toes. I'm 21 now, what do I do? | Hello, posting because I don't have anywhere else to ask.
When I was growing up I had ingrown toenails. It was genetic. Since the age of 2 my mom used to bring me to our family Doctor to have my toenails removed. (Un-medicated, by the way.) Pretty much every year since that my mom took me to the emergency room so I could have them removed.
It's pretty traumatic when I think about it. I was awake. They would freeze my toe with needles, and proceed to tear it off. When I was 15 I decided to get them removed permanently. It wasn't permanent, and they grew back. (I was asleep this time at least.) I took a week off school. For a bunch of other reasons involving mental health, plus the surgery, I became a high school drop out. Imagine being stabbed every footstep you walked. They were nasty infected and I couldn't even sleep with a blanket on my feet.
My toenails are sort of messed up. They weren't supposed to grow back. They don't look right. I can't take my socks off around people as I am self conscious. They aren't infected or ingrown anymore but it's sort of really fucked up. It hurts slightly sometimes but I think the only reason the pain isn't so bad is because I have a high tolerancy for it. I'm afraid it'll get infected again and I'll have to get something amputated. | ingrown toenails cost my highschool education and mental health, permanent surgery resulted in them growing back. basically malpractice. What do I do? |
t3_3pj31t | personalfinance | Looking for advice with buying my parent's house... | Hi all!
My parents are fast approaching retirement age and have amassed very little in terms of retirement funds (16k in the bank, a small retirement from my mother's government employment, step-father is dealing with cancer so not much else).
They have an owner-carried note with a balloon payment due in September 2016 of ~70k. It's a good sized parcel in a rural town; a little over a half acre with a four bedroom/two bath house, shop, and built out shed. The caveat is that it was built in the 1930's and lacks a proper foundation so most lenders won't touch it and would want to treat it as undeveloped land. With a foundation under the home it would put the sale price in the high 200's or low 300's given comps in the area.
So here's the question--should we attempt to finance the land or simply use cash? We can throw 50k cash at it now if the current owner would bite on that for a payoff, or clear the entire note next year. We are attempting to save and buy our own home as well but that will need to take a backseat while we set up the folks.
Along those lines as this is in California should we be concerned about gift tax? They're happy to sign the house over to us as well if they need to in order to secure financing or make a cleaner transition.
Wat do? Any help/advice is appreciated and thank you. | 70k balloon payment on parent's house/land coming up in a year. Attempt to finance or negotiate with cash? What are the pitfalls I should know about? |
t3_16hmun | relationships | My[19/f] friend[20/m] sent me an inappropriate text. Hes has a girlfriend[17/f] | Background: My friend, J, and I have known eachother for close to 6 years now. We've been there for eachother through a lot. We had a "thing" for a few week about 3 years ago, but it never went anywhere and we dated different people. We also had sex twice last year when we were single.
We stopped chilling for a bit before started dating F. We all used to be close but she kind of distanced herself from me aftersome shit went down involving his ex, and me getting him to tell her about it. She just kind of dropped off the face of the earth after that.
Anyways we've been texting and made plans to chill and have a few beers (19 legal drinking age, and 16 legal age of consent if you're wondering about his gf). As far as I know their relationship has been great, and going for a few months now. But late last night he texted me saying "You're beautiful, send me something sexy".
First I don't send pix. Second, he's dating an awesome girl. I know he was out drinking with his best friend, one of my ex's. So I don't know id it was him or my ex or just joking around drinking. We have plans to chill tomorrow, so I'm obviously going to confront him about it.
Anyways my question is how should I go about it? And if he really did mean what I said, where do I go from there? We've been friends for years, and he's a good friend, but I also know he's cheated on past gfs, and I don't want F to get hurt, but I also don't want to be a big bitch either. | Friend of six year with a gf ask me to send sexy pix. What should I expect when I confront him and what should I do after? |
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