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t3_3q88s5 | tifu | TIFU by using a pedal as my push to talk | Obvious throwaway for this one.
So I play a game called "CS:GO". In this game you can bind your keys to the different types of grenades for fast access. As a result of this and all of the other keys in use, all the keys that are available are super uncomfortable as a push to talk. Then I had a great idea. I went on Amazon, and bought a pedal that I could connect to my PC. I couldn't find the exact one, but this is similar . Paid extra for overnight shipping and viola! I had push to talk bound to the pedal the next day. It all felt so natural. Now, I'm 15 and just recently I got my learners permit to drive on with a parent or guardian. My mom does this thing where she asks me to drive her to places to run errands or buy groceries so I can get a lot of practice in. One day she asked me to take her to the local grocery store. Me being the kid that loves driving, I agreed. Now at this point, me pushing down a pedal to talk to someone became complete muscle memory. Around 2 minutes into the drive we have to stop at a red light. My mom starts talking to me about what car I want to get when I turn 16. I opened my mouth, and it happened. Next thing I know the frontside of the car that I'm driving is in the bumper of the car in front of me.
Needless to say, I won't be driving my own car for a while. | Bound push to talk to a pedal on my PC, ended up rear ending a car when trying to talk to my mom in the car. |
t3_2vzirb | relationships | I'm [22M] going out for coffee in one hour with someone new [21F], still recovering from my toxic ex of 7 months | Here's my original post for some context on my emotional state earlier this week:
Quick brief on that situation: BPD ex, I was made into a villain, we haven't spoken in 20 days and probably never will again. Very painful breakup and my first long-term relationship.
I've been coping in all the ways you would recommend. I've been working out, spending lots of time in social situations and with friends, practicing positivity, going full NC (not even checking online), doing things I love and re-learning how to enjoy being alone. An unexpected result of my self-dating was that I met someone new through a mutual friend. We talked for a little bit and I asked her out to coffee and we're going later today.
It's kind of funny, because I forgot how insane my first date anxiety is because I've been in a relationship for 7 months and it's been 8 months since I got out there and played the game. Maybe it's good that I'm replacing my anxiety about my ex with anxiety about the new person, but I'd prefer to just be comfortable. I've had my moments where I feel totally good and ready for this, but I'm quite a bit nervous right now.
How did you establish comfort dating after a breakup? This girl seems cool and I'd love to make a solid first impression without being awkward. I'm a reasonably good-looking guy, and I have plenty of confidence, but I come off as awkward (which is usually interpreted as me being "real"), mostly because I want to be my date's friend and feel uncomfortable making advances or outright flirting.
Any last-minute advice would be clutch. | Still dealing with recent-ish breakup, going on date with new girl today, I'm confident and know there's nothing to worry about but I don't feel comfortable flirting. |
t3_blt7v | AskReddit | Reddit, I think I just gone done screwed up my bicep... | So basically I got this big wave of rage and stupid and took it out on my heavybag this morning. I didn't stretch, and haven't worked out in months. I was whaling on the thing at 100% for about 25 seconds before I was out of breath, went upstairs and had a cold drink. Fast-forward five hours:
No pain, but I cannot flex my right arm AT ALL. Like nothing. When I attempt to I can get my arm to about a 160° angle but nothing more. Also, when I feel my bicep it feels very lumpy at this point. Two large lumps in particular, one above the other.
Is this a simple pull or have a done some more damage? The fact that my bicep feels lumpy is quite unnerving, I can't remember pulling a muscle and physically feeling it distort the surface of the muscle. | Got angry, didn't stretch, went all out on punching bag, messed up arm. Can't flex, bicep lumpy, no pain. :S |
t3_2qiprh | relationships | Me [25 F] and my boyfriend [27 M] of 2 years, Just found about his porn details. | I read this sub all the time and never thought I would be posting here. While we were away for the holidays I used my boyfriends laptop while he was in the shower and typed in "P" for pizza hut so we could order a pizza for the night. Well after just typing "P" pornhub came up in purple text curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on it, it turns out he was logged in and I checked out his account and clicked the favorites. There was over 100 videos of mostly first person view blowjobs, there were a lot of them with one girl and two guys and a lot of "swinger" type stuff. He also commented on a ton of the videos within the last 6 months. Lately within the last month or so he has been pressuring me to let him take pictures and videos while I give him a blowjob but am extremely paranoid and always said no and thought nothing of it, but now I have a thought in the back of my head he wants to upload to that site.
Now I am not stupid and know all guys watch porn and I honestly don't care if he watches it in private, but to be that involved with porn seems disgusting to me. He has about 30 "friends" on that site and it just comes off as creepy to me. I do plan on confronting him about it but don't know how to go about doing it, or should I just forget about it altogether? | Boyfriend is involved in a porn site and don't know how to talk to him about it or if I even should. |
t3_g1llc | AskReddit | My kitchen exploded! Need help! | Hey there redditors...
Last night around 10 PM I tried to make some dulce de leche by boiling a can of evaporated milk... (4-5 hours of boiling). Stupid me forgets the thing on the electric stove and went to watch a movie. I eventually passed out around 2 AM. Next thing I know, there was a big boom in the kitchen and loads of smoke... I rush into the kitchen to turn off the stove and evaluate the damage. There is a big circular hole (maybe 5 inches in diameter) right on the drywall/plywood ceiling. The glass on the microwave door shattered as well... I am planning to repair all this myself but don't know where to start. My question is can I use the microwave if only the outer glass is broken?
I'll post some pictures later. | Boiled a can of evaporated milk and passed out forgetting to turn off the stove. Aftermath: Hole in the ceiling and microwave glass door is shattered. |
t3_2a4dne | tifu | TIFU by going down on my girlfriend (NSFW) | Earlier today my SO and I began to get into the 'mood' and so we took to the bedroom to begin our normal routine. We undressed each other and during foreplay she started to feel a little tender around her most delicate of areas so I, thinking nothing of it, decided that she needed some more lubrication and decided that the best thing to do in that situation was go down on her. Not noticing anything out of the ordinary I continued for a few minutes before we started to have actual intercourse.
During the sex itself, I noticed that some white discharge had found itself dripping down my genitals and being a naive man, I thought of this as some form of grand thing, that I was doing everything right etc. So we continued until we both finished and not too long after, I braggingly told her about the fact that I had made her discharge in a way that I hadn't seen before.
What I didn't know beforehand is that she had been suffering an itch within her nether regions and upon asking as to whether the discharge looked like 'cottage cheese', she continued to tell me that those were two of the common symptoms of thrush. | I ate cottage cheese like discharge out of my girlfriend thinking that I was some form of pro when it was actually thrush. |
t3_17ohs4 | AskReddit | Game boy games for iPhone? | I have an iPhone 5 (and I don't care about your opinions on it) and I'm looking to get some game boy games for it. All of the games in the App Store are boring as shit and you can either beat them in 10 minutes or they are trying to make you buy special coins from them. I'm really looking to get some long-lasting games I can play, and I know game boy games are great for that. I used to have an emulator on my android, before it broke, and I could get any game boy game for free and play whatever I wanted(about half didn't work, but it was free). I gad pokemon going and a few others. I want a similar thing going on on my iPhone. | does anybody either know any really good games on the App Store or know how to get a game boy emulator on a (not jail broken) iPhone? |
t3_1jgwuv | dating_advice | Need some advice on turning things serious (going from dating to relationship) | Hello everyone,
So here's my situation: I'm a guy and three weeks ago I met an intern my age at work (well, really it was during an office party). She asked me out of the blue what kind of music I liked, turned out we listened to the same thing, we talked for a bit, etc.
Now, our dialogue alone was enough to get me interested, and so two weeks later after I learned she would like to try airsoft I invited her to a game. Later that evening we went to a concert.
We went out again the next week, last Saturday in fact, I invited her for a drink. I think we really hit it off and she seemed quite happy, but nothing happened (not that I mind, I don't think I was ready anyway).
I asked her if she wanted to go out again the same day, she said yes, I offered Friday, she said she'd be on vacation so she proposed Thursday. We were planning on seeing the fireworks display in town (her idea) but strangely she asked me if I had any plans for food (on our Saturday date we didn't eat anything, truth is none of us were hungry) so I asked her preferences and she said if it was better for me she could come over (she already saw my home once and met my family on our airsoft day, we killed the time between the game and the concert there).
So she's coming over this evening for a while and probably we're going to see the fireworks. My question thus: I really, really want to do something this evening to drop the game of cat and mouse and come out clean about my feelings. I'd still hang out with her as a friend, but I don't want to look too pushy. I'm not really afraid of rejection, but if she rejected my advances I'd need some time alone and really what scares me is that I might not have it (since I'd be stuck there with her for an evening).
What should I do to make it clear I'd like to form a relationship with her?
Also, on a side question, can it be considered I'm dating her even though we just went out twice? Or is it still on the level of friends seeing each other? | seeing a girl, she's coming over and we're going to a fireworks display this evening, want to do something conclusive, don't know what. |
t3_54qntl | personalfinance | Short Term Advice: Relocated w/o a job lined up, Savings Dwindling | Hey personalfinance,
I'm a woman in my mid-20's in need of some wisdom. Breakdown of my situation is below:
• My SO and I recently moved to a different state this past July. We moved because my S.O. was transferring offices w/in his company.
• Since moving, I've been actively trying to find a new job. I've have had some interviews, made some promising network contacts, still pushing through, staying motivated and applying. But you know how job searches can be, despite all the activity, I haven't yet found the right opportunity.
I initially had a lot of money saved up in preparation for the relocation and subsequent job search. However, my savings are a finite resource and I now have enough left to last about two more months on a strict budget. My SO has his job, but I'm also considering a few more options to help hold us over until I find employment:
Other assets I have besides my savings:
• I have about $13K in my 401k.
• I have about $2K in my HSA.
I was thinking about cashing out my HSA to buy us a little more time. Is that a good idea? I understand that there is a penalty for cashing out before I turn 65, but I need to pay my rent. I expect to find a job soon.
Thanks for reading & thanks in advance for all your input! | Should I cash out my HSA to help hold me over a little longer while I search for a full-time job? |
t3_4kmn56 | relationships | My [23F] girlfriend's [20F] mother has terminal cancer, how can I support them? | My girlfriend's mother has relapsed from cancer and it has spread to her lungs, even if treatment is possible, her life expectancy is 2-5 years.
Her family does not exactly condone our relationship (due to sexuality) and her parents aren't comfortable with my presence. This unfortunately means that I cannot visit their house often, but my girlfriend (Lisa) wants to stay at home with her mother (Sandy). Lisa has had to be extremely strong for Sandy, and has tried to master her composure, but often breaks down in private and needs my support.
I am at a loss of what to do, as this is extremely stressful for Lisa and I do not want to disrespect her parents by being around all the time. They know that I am her main support, and Lisa feels as though I am the only one she trusts to talk to. The last thing I want to do is create an uncomfortable household for her or her family.
Lisa and I have been dating for 9 months now, but her father has openly stated that he is upset that we are "still together", and will not look me in eye directly. I am trying to find a way to support Lisa and her family, although I am paranoid about how to show my support, in case they do not think it is my place. Lisa and I have talked about this and she is also at a loss of what to do.
I am seeking advice for how to support Lisa through this time, and support her family (if I can) without encroaching on their space or making them uncomfortable. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thank you. | My girlfriend's mother has 2-5 years to live, but her family is uncomfortable with my presence. How can I support them? |
t3_3k5368 | relationship_advice | My [20F] boyfriend [23M] asked a cam girl about buying her pictures/videos behind my back | My [20F] boyfriend [23M] of a year and a half messaged a cam girl 3 months ago about buying some pics/jifs (he wanted a vid) from her for $20. He didn't go through with it, but I saw the messages the other night and I've been miserable. I feel like I can't trust him anymore.
It's worth mentioning that he has a fetish for paying for sexual things. He once (before we were dating, when he was single) used an escort for a blowjob, and says that was the last of his (physical) experiences with them.
I've found several conversations from before he and I were dating of him talking to escorts about how much he would pay them, what they would do, etc. He seems to just get off to the idea of the transaction/conversation.
I don't know whether I should give him another chance, but he seems really remorseful. He keeps saying he loves me way more than his fetish, and wants to earn my trust back.. My heart hurts :( | my boyfriend asked a cam girl about buying pics. I don't know how to trust him or even whether I should at this point |
t3_1fulrp | relationship_advice | I bought expensive tickets to a circus dinner show, and my boyfriend freaked out for having to pay for the drinks. | I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. In this time he has gone to rehab for having a DUI and failing to comply with the outside treatment option. He has also lost his Job, and was unemployed for a few months.
I am not trying to belittle him, but in this time I have been pulling my slack in the financial department.
So we went to this circus dinner show tonight, where I bought the tickets and taxi to and from the venue (about $250 total). I did it because I really wanted to check this place out plus I thought it'd be a great date night.
Before I bought the tickets I specifically asked him if he would buy the drinks because they weren't included in the ticket price and he said okay.
The show was amazing, and we were both having the time of our lives. Until the check came. Then suddenly he gets in this super awkward mood because the bill comes up to 90 bucks.
I swear the whole date ended right then and there.
It is not as if he doesn't have the money. He has a new job where he gets paid more than his previous one plus his hours are steady and he gets bonuses.
It was kind of embarassing and awkward leaving the venue, because across the street is this huge park and I wanted to go run around in the fountains and make out and stuff. But he was still freaking about that bill.
What am I supposed to say to make him feel more alright? I kind of feel like shit on one hand for even taking him to such an upscale place if he apparently 'can't afford it'. But I don't want this to affect our relationship, although I kind of feel like the whole night was a bust now. | I bought expensive tickets to a circus dinner show, and my boyfriend freaked out for having to pay for the drinks. What do I do now? |
t3_v1ek0 | AskReddit | What harmless but potentially irritating thing do you do to entertain yourself, possibly at the expense of others? | Here's some examples of things I do that probably annoy other people but keep me amused:
1. Saying "Mind the pun." after I've finished speaking/typing, when there was no pun. This works especially well on online chats - you just KNOW they are sitting there re-reading everything you just said to find the pun. Bonus points when they ask after several minutes of silence what the pun was.
2. I work as a receptionist. When I answer phone calls with my usual company name spiel, the person will usually reply with something along the lines of "Hi, this is <Andrew> from <Company Name>". If they leave a polite pause after that, I will interject with "Hi, Andrew! How are you today?". Using their name really throws them off their train of thought, and I often have people half-way through their next thought at the time so they say something like; "Could I please speak to- Oh, um, I'm good thanks, how are you?". Makes me giggle evilly. Of course, I also like to think that sometimes there are a few that will appreciate the extra effort to treat them like a human being.
3. I enjoy telling this joke:
Me: What's the difference between an orange?
Bewildered person: Uh, what?
Me: ONE OF THEM DOESN'T!
And then ~~laughing~~ chortling furiously like it's the funniest joke ever. Bonus points here if they laugh, more points if they laugh and then ask you to explain. | So, Reddit, what do you do to amuse yourself that other people might find uncomfortable/irritating? I'm looking for new ideas. |
t3_4jkzeb | relationship_advice | I'm [36 M] convinced that my wife [32 F] has a secret online friend that she won't own up to. It's tearing me apart. | Bit of history first, nearly a year ago we hit a crisis point in our relationship. We both had our issues, mine depression and hers an inability to communicate without shouting and shutting me down. The problem is that shortly before the crisis point I believe that my wife gained a new online friend which she was not open about. For the first time since I've known her (we've been together almost ten years) she started to hide her phone from me and there were multiple other times where she acted out of character. At the time I feared the worst and that sent me into an anxiety spiral that left me unable to eat or sleep for weeks, I was a mess.
I needed help and sought counselling, thanks to that I was able to confront her on these issues, but each time she denied everything and I felt like things were still unresolved. I asked her to work with me to prove one way or another so that we can move on but each time ended in arguments.
Since then we both completed individual counselling courses and things have improved a thousand times. We're both committed to the relationship, we communicate better (but not as well as I think we should, but way better than before) and our lives should be getting back on track. However all the time I've been thinking about this person. I don't believe that there's a physical relationship, but I cannot understand why it stays secret. I know she loves me, I know she's in it for the long term so it bakes my noodle why she would want to hurt me so much.
I so desperately want to believe her and feel like a terrible person doubting her like this. Some days I wonder whether I'm just making it all up in order to find a magic "fix" so that she can admit it, explain why she did it and then we can both move on. I keep trying to ignore my suspicions and move on myself, sometimes I managed a few weeks, sometimes a month but it doesn't seem to help. Each time I confront her I'm unable to really get across my point and end up hurting us both. | I believe that my wife is hiding an online relationship. She refuses to prove one way or the other and I'm going nuts over it. |
t3_4wzqb0 | relationships | My [25/f] boyfriend [26/m] and I are long distance, but he's thinking of making the distance even longer. | My boyfriend and I have only been "officially" dating for 8 months. I am in love with him but haven't told him and I think I'm more committed to the relationship than he is. We have a lot of fun together and I know he cares about me. He's never been in love, though he's been in a 3 year relationship before. He tells me that I worry about things too much. Our long distance is only about 2 hours, but with different work schedules we've had some hard times being far apart. I recently decided to move to his city, not solely for him. I've been wanting to move and considering his city anyway (my best friend and many other people I know live there and there's much more going on). Obviously he now plays a big part in me choosing that city over other places. We're both starting to look for new jobs and I found out he's considering applying in places even FURTHER away. He knows I was planning on moving to Raleigh. He says it's all hypothetical and that we would have a conversation about it once the time came closer. I don't want to hold him back if he wants to make a big move like NYC, but I think it shows he's not committed to me if he's thinking of this move. I don't know how to move forward. I'm scared if I forget about it, 4 months down the road it will happen and I will be even more hooked and more hurt. How should I handle this situation? | We live 2 hrs. away and I wanted to shorten the distance by moving to his city, now he is considering moving as much as 10 hrs. away from me. |
t3_b5cft | AskReddit | Take a student loan or take a "loan" from my parents for graduate school? | I'm about to start my second Masters in Public Health (MPH ). My first Masters was in basic science and I was able to get my tuition and stipend covered by my mentor. I won't be able to find someone to cover my tuition or provide a stipend for me for my MPH. I'll be going in state which brings a my yearly tuition cost to about $5K and most MPH students find part time work in their field starting the second semester to help with living wages.
My parents, who are in their sixties, are pretty well off and are willing to give me an interest free "loan" to cover my yearly tuition. However, I feel that as a 27 year old who choose to go to get his MPH, it's my responsibility to take care of myself. My girlfriend thinks I'm to proud to take my parents money ( which is sort of true ) So, what would you do? | My parents are willing to cover my $5K yearly tuition, but I think it's better for me to take a student loan. Thoughts? |
t3_4nb1wx | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [23M] of almost a year have been arguing a lot lately and he says he can't say what he wants around me anymore. | So for the first like 6 months or so of our relationship we basically lived together because college. But then I moved back home for work while he was finishing up his last semester so we were semi long distance (like 4 hour drive). We're perfectly fine when we're actually together. Like I don't doubt that he loves me or anything. But he's just so bad at communication via text it drives me insane. And I've brought it up before that communicating in text means you can't tell my tone of voice and I can't tell his and it's a breeding pool for miscommunication. And thus we get into arguments really often where he says something and I get upset because he's saying it too harshly. And then I tell him it's mean because of how he said it and he just says that's just his opinion.
But basically it's gotten to the point where he says he no longer can talk to me how he used to and be himself basically because he's afraid he'll say something wrong and make me upset. And like I get upset easily because it keeps happening. And it's like a downward spiral. And that makes me feel so bad. I don't want him to feel like that. Like I understand it's all my fault for getting upset so you really don't need to tell me that. But regardless of what has happened, I don't know where to go from here. How do I make it so he doesn't feel afraid of being himself and speaking his mind? Like he probably doesn't say a lot of things now because he's afraid. How do I let him know it's ok? | boyfriend and I get into arguments over stupid things and now he doesn't feel like he can be himself without offending me. How do I make things right? |
t3_1odt3r | relationships | My [23M] gf [23 F] of 20 months cheated on me last night. Looking for some words of encouragement. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half, but since about three months in, we've been pretty serious. I truly love her, and I know that she loves me, but I'm in a tough situation.
For some background, before me she was in a long relationship with a pretty scummy guy who cheated on her quite a bit. They stayed together, with her doing her share of cheating as well. It was a generally toxic situation. I've always been in pretty healthy relationships. We were dating, quite seriously, in the same city for over a year.
This past spring I moved to a different city for work and we started to date long distance. It was never really a question whether or not we'd do long distance since, by this point, we had pretty much planned our lives together. It was going great, with her visiting every couple of months.
She's always been a bit of the jealous type, getting angry if I'd get coffee with a female friend, or talk with a female friend of ours for too long. I always sort of chalked it up to her getting burned in the past, correctly I think.
Well this afternoon she calls me and tell me that, last night, she got drunk, made out with a guy in the bar, and then took him home. They didn't have sex (she says, and I believe her), and she is quite distraught.
On the one hand, I love her, and she is such a big part of my life and my plans for myself that I can't see myself without her. On the other hand, she is a very sexual person (stemming, I think, from some childhood trauma) and this didn't exactly surprise me.
I guess what I'm looking for are stories from other people who have been in a similar situation. I'd really like to make this work, but I don't know how I would feel about myself if I were the guy who let this go. Does that make me the bigger person? Or a sap? | Gf, whom I love very much, made a drunken mistake last night. Has anyone made this work? Or is it best to just write this off as a casualty of a bad situation? |
t3_ej45h | AskReddit | If you found out you had only a short time left to live, a prognosis of a few months to maybe a year - would you tell anyone? | If you were diagnosed with a condition that would kill you would you make a big deal out of it or would you carry on your life as 'normally' as you could but just trying to take as much enjoyment out of it as possible?
Would you tell your friends so that they would make a big fuss, or would you just continue as you were, perhaps acting a little bit more 'spur of the moment' and 'live life to the full' than normal but nothing too out of the ordinary? Perhaps you may lose friends with your new outgoing-ness but were they true friends to begin with? Would you use this time to find out who your true friends really are? Something perhaps impossible if everyone knew your situation...
thoughts?
Personally I have a quest for knowledge and could finish my PhD. before I die, so want to continue with uni. I would want things to try be as normal as possible with people treating me no differently. If I act more outgoing and this turns some people away then I do not think they accept me for who I am anyway. I think the answers to many questions might be blurred by peoples change in attitude towards you knowing your situation. I would keep it a secret. | you will die in a few months to a year. do you tell your friends or do you keep it to yourself and try really understand who your true friends are? |
t3_w5h0w | relationships | I'm starting to fall for a friend and need Help/Advice. | My friend (M23) and I (M19) met on Facebook through a mutual friend about 4 months ago and it didn't take long for us to become good friends. At first I didn't think of it as anything more than a friendship but after we started hanging out together and texting each other very often I've started to develop feelings for him and they just grow more everyday.
We hang our every other weekend (since we live about 45 minutes away from each other and we are both usually busy during the week) and I'm just so happy when I spend time with him. We text a lot everyday as well (more than I text my own best friend) and he has told me how happy he is that he met me and how it's great that we have a ton of things in common. I've told him things along those lines as well since it's very true. He is a great guy with a good sense of humor and we like a lot of the same things (music, tv shows, foods, etc.) and he just make me happy when we text or hang out.
I'm single and he just recently (3 weeks ago) got out of a 10month relationship with a guy that he said had been going downhill for the past 2 or 3 months. His ex treated him like crap and would sometimes not talk to him for a long time, say rude things about the way he dressed, never wanted to do anything my friend wanted to do, and was a hypocrite. My friend told me he lost the feelings he had with his ex when things went downhill.
I want to tell him that I'm starting to develop feelings for him and I want to be more than friends but I'm not sure how I should do it. I'm also afraid that he only sees me as a friend and nothing further. Any advice and help is greatly appreciated! | Started developing feelings for a friend who recently got out of a horrible relationship and I want to be more than friends with him. Don't know what to say/do in this situation. |
t3_3i6flf | relationships | How do I (30F) get my boyfriend (29M) to be a better bed sharer? | I love my boyfriend, and our relationship is great. Well, all of it except the sleeping part. It always starts out fine, we cuddle and fall asleep no problem. But once he's out there's all kinds of trouble. He'll throw his arms around when he changes position and I've been bopped in the face several times.
He's a big sleep humper, but nothing ever comes of it (no pun intended). He just rubs up against me enough to wake me up, sometimes says random names and moans a little, then goes back to being still and snoring. The whole thing only lasts about 30 seconds but it's enough to wake me up. (Not worried about cheating BTW, the names are always random. Loretta is a recent example of a name he moaned out, and neither of us know anyone with that name).
He also talks in his sleep. He's a chef, so it's almost always about food. He's been mumbling about pork chops a lot lately. Like several times a night. Last night he grabbed my shoulder, and said "we need to get these porkchops out!" in a really urgent tone. I said what and he repeated it, then went back to snoring. He actually moaned "pork chops" while he was sleep humping me last night. I woke him up to make fun of him for it because it was so ridiculous, but I normally just let him sleep.
He's never been violent, and the snoring isn't loud enough to keep me awake when we have the fan or ambient noise on, but it's really annoying getting woken up 5 or 6 times a night. We also have a king sized bed, so getting a bigger bed won't help. Has anyone had a partner with the same... active sleeping problem? Any ideas on how I can get him to just sleep and not wake me up? I'm at a complete loss, so anything helps :) | Boyfriend wakes me up several times each night and I need ideas on how to get him to just lay there and sleep. |
t3_4qxu0i | personalfinance | Advice on VW judgement decisions | Hi all, I'm a lurker but had a question that's been niggling at me for a while.
I have a 2014 TDI and have always had TDI's since I was a teenager. I love them. I don't however love what VW did and it's making me consider jumping brands to either Subaru or Toyota.
I drive for a living so keep this in mind. I put about 20-30k miles on my car per year. TDI's are also known for lasting for f'n ever if well maintained and taken care of, which I'm on top of all the time.
Okay, so...
Options on the VW judgement.
1) I can have them buy back the car at blue book value as of August 2015 plus 130% for loan forgiveness and no cash back depending on if the loan is equal to or more than the payout. I would then use this out to get a used, or newer car with easy repairs, lower payments and reliability. Thus Subaru and Toyota.
2) I can keep the car, have them repair it for free and get 5k-10k back in reparations to put in savings or towards a used/new car BUT I lose up to 5-10% of performance and MPG with the fix and pay higher fines on road tax per year. I'm figuring at this point that the 5-10k is barely going to be worth it because of the higher road tax the longer I keep the car.
3) We're refinancing our house into a 20yr loan, (it's currently at 25yrs) for a lesser percentage saving us about 36k on the loan in interest and $235 a month on payment. The payment includes escrow and property taxes. I was thinking of financing the car into the house loan, letting VW buy back the car and pocketing almost 20k. I know this is trading basically, still paying for the car, and then getting money back for immediate needs. One being a down payment, or outright payment of a used/new car.
Sorry for the wall of text. | I have three options for my VW TDI, buyback +cash, fix +cash, or house refinance, car into refinance, VW buyback and get pocket cash of about 20k. |
t3_20drsk | relationships | My [F/26] parents [m/51;f/53] are great parents, but as a couple they are having problems. I want to suggest therapy to them, but I would like to hear other couples experience with therapy. | I love my parents very much, both have worked and continue to work very hard to ensure that my little sister and brother are well provided for. My Mom works during the day and my Dad during the night so this gives them little interaction time during the week. Both have weekends off, but my Dad usually watches TV while my Mom catches up on chores.
My Mom called me this evening crying saying that my Dad said some pretty awful things to her when she asked for help picking up the house. I learned that they no longer share the same bed and they rarely interact when they are at home. My Mom says she still loves my Dad, but he makes it very difficult to live with him because how messy he can be and how uncooperative he can be doing basic house chores like cutting the grass and taking out the trash. I tried talking to my Dad, but being that he is a very proud man, he said he would prefer not to discuss any issues with me.
I would like to suggest couples therapy to them, but how do I convince a very stubborn and proud man that it will be beneficial to their relationship?
Also, I would like to know if there are any couples that have been successful doing couples therapy. | Mom and Dad are having marital problems. How do I convince my proud Dad to go to couples therapy? Can other couples share their stories about their experience with couples therapy? |
t3_2f7y7t | relationships | I [24] am worried about my bf [24] going to an all guys Vegas trip with only single guys. | My boyfriend [24] is currently at Vegas for an all guys trip and all the other guys are single. I'm nervous because I've been to Vegas with these guys before and they spent the whole time trying to get at girls and dancing/making out with girls at clubs.
He recently started graduate school and met these guy friends so it's a chance for them to bond. We're the same age [24] and have been dating for 2 years. We're in a long distance relationship and have been for a year already. I've never had to worry because all his friends in the past had fun as a group and he had friends with girlfriends that he could hang out with while the single ones tried to get at girls. But seeing how these guy friends were so interested in hooking up has me worried.
It makes me wonder what my bf will be doing when all his guy friends are paired up with other girls. What do guys do in this situation? Just dance by themselves? I don't think he'll cheat on me in terms of kissing someone else or something but I feel like he could freak dance (grind) with someone which I'm not ok with.
He's never given me a reason to not trust him but he has also never gone out with just single guy friends so I don't know how he'll act. Am I worried for no reason? He texted me a couple times while he was in Vegas but definitely less which I understand since he's having fun. But it also adds to my worry. | Boyfriend is going to Vegas with single friends who's going to be trying to get at girls and I'm worried. |
t3_37z3y8 | relationships | My [20 F] grandma [83 F] wants to donate money to me and my siblings but I'm uncomfortable with that | I don't see my gran all that much. She's back in the country-side, and it's usually a day of travel away. I don't have any problem with her, I love her, she's so nice, always asking about how I'm doing. The fact that I can't visit her often really saddens me.
About my situation: I'm a student and I want to spend the next semester abroad. I don't want to take money from my parents or anyone for that so I'm currently working and will be for the rest of the summer break until I have to go. This means I'll have enough money to go on etc...
Now my mother informed me that my gran wants to donate some of the leftover money from my (now deceased pa) to me and my siblings. I was very touched but also really uncomfortable. My granma has health issues and is really fragile, quite literally: she broke a bone by just tripping on the ground. So the idea of taking money from her when she could use it to treat herself and get better is torturing me.
I've been told that she has made the decision and seen a lawyer to do all this right.
The thing is I thought I could try to call her on Mother's Day. When I tried to talk about this, I began to splutter and really mixed all I wanted to say - that I was grateful, that this was making me nervous - into a big mess that she didn't really understand (she has bad hearing). However after I finished talking she cut the call abruptly.
I really nervous about the fact that I left that *really **bad** * impression that I'm just a gready grand-daughter that just wants the inheritance when the reality is that this couldn't be any more wrong.
I don't want to call now because I'm just angry against myself, and I don't know how to deal with this. | My grandma wants to donate money to me and my siblings but I'm uncomfortable with that. I called her on Mother's Day and tried to talk about it but I think I left a bad impression... |
t3_41vljy | relationships | I broke up [23F] with my bf [29M] of 9 months. Having trouble breaking pattern of not being myself, giving to receive love, and not expressing my needs. Feeling a lot of guilt/self blame. | I (23F) just ended things with a boyfriend (29M) of 9 months because there wasn't enough balance in our relationship.
I gave a lot in the beginning because I liked him and he had health issues in the first 2 months of us dating.
This developed into me constantly thinking about him/his needs at the expense of my own and him not reciprocating.
Few months later, I couldn't break the pattern of give and take and he also I think has issues with being self-absorbed, guilt, and emotional unavailability.
In past relationships, I've erased myself because of internal insecurity and because of outside pressure. I don't know how to break this pattern.
Please advise. | how do I not fall into the pattern of feeling uncared for and express my emotional, intellectual, personal needs in a healthy way and not just as a fall out from fighting |
t3_dhg5b | AskReddit | Reddit, I am in my freshmen year at University and everything is going HORRIBLY Wrong. Please HELP! | Hello fellow Redditors.
I'm a 19 year old attending a big time University this semester. I came from a community college where things were a bit bumpy (a few D's here and there on tests- but Ultimately ended up with a 3.8 GPA) and I figured myself well prepared for college.
I'm not. Everything is falling apart. I am only taking 12 credit hours- the classes seem simple (Math, Botany, Philsophy, History) they were fun- I did all the assignments, I read a shitload of stuff and took notes. I studied for four days before my first test in Botany (When I say study I re-wrote the notes, repeated them in my head, and figured I was good)...and then everything went down hill. I've failed both my history quizzes (two so far) and I got a D on my Botany test I was SURE I knew every answer to. I have no idea why. I can't seem to retain ANYTHING! The worse part is that my study partner who gave in and said she'd just wing it got an A on the same test... I should also point out that essay questions and short answers and diagrams I usually ALWAYS get right- but multiple choice questions are almost always wrong.
So, how do you all of you do it, Reddit? Are there different ways to study then just re-writing notes and constant rote memorization? I've got 3 tests next week and I'm so scared, I'm shaking. I've had a migraine for the whole weekend and I can barely focus or EAT anything! I'm on the brink of dropping out- and that's not good at all. It's really wearing down on me. | A freshmen with shellshock from community college > university is having a mental breakdown and would really like some study/stress reliever tips. |
t3_3yvx4r | relationships | Me [23 M] and my friend [22 F] have been coworkers for four years. I'm gay but in the past 2 years have developed strong desires to date her? | Hi,
I have been working at the same college job for four years now. My friend who is female and straight and I who is male and gay have found commonality amongst ourselves and are quite good friends finding lots to talk about. Recently, I have noticed I have been developing.. feelings towards her. I identify as a homosexual man and have strong sexual attraction towards guys.. but I don't know how to describe this. It isn't like all of my friendships with females... I feel like I want something more but without sexual feelings attached. Almost like I want her to be my actual girlfriend or date her. I don't know how to go about this or if I should make anything of this but I feel like I want her in my life. Not just as a friend, but as a strong companion throughout my life. (Sounds like I want to propose to her my goodness). She knows I'm gay and I have stated how I find guys attractive in shows we watch. Maybe it might turn into sexual attraction? This is a completely new feeling/emotion that I have never had before towards a female. She is very busy with her life finishing her last year of college so I don't want to add anything to that.
Advice?
Maybe experiences with this kind of situation? | I'm gay but I have strong feelings to be attached to a girl and have her be my companion/significant other but with no sexual feelings? |
t3_sygau | relationships | Girlfriend of 2 years will basically be gone for the next year. | *(Hey, sorry if I'm vague in some parts, people I know frequent Reddit and I would like to keep this anonymous).*
I'm a 21 year old guy and she's 20; we've been together for about 2 and half years by now. We live in the same city and meet in our first year of college, since we met and started going out we've basically been inseparable. Now as our final year of undergrad ends, she will be spending the summer living in London, coming back home for like a week or 2 and then spending subsequent college year doing a course in another city. While she'll be doing her course I'll still be stuck here in our home city doing my postgrad course. Both London and the city she has college in are essentially a 3-hour journey away from me, one by plane and one by bus. I can't afford to go to London with her and the postgrad course I'm going into in September is going to have a really pressured work load which means that spending any protracted length of time with her will be awkward. It looks like her course will be the same situation as mine.
We speak on the phone every day as it is and I can't ever see that as being of any consolation while she's away. We've talked about her going away; she even suggested our taking a break from the relationship, which I was vehemently against. I'm really not sure what to do about this whole situation, the thought of her being inaccessible for so long really bums me out but these are things she has wanted to do for a long time and I don't want to hold her back. She's leaving in the next few weeks and I don't know where to go from here. | Long-term girlfriend leaving for London for the summer then moving to another city for the college year. I don't know what to do. Really fucking bummed out. |
t3_bv8rz | AskReddit | Reddit, for some songs do you enjoy the tune, but hate the lyrics? | I like electronic and some dance music, one example is *"[Take Me Away] by Stonebridge.
The [lyrics] though are kind of a bummer. I discovered this song a year ago via [Last.fm] there I was, hitting *Play*, headphones engaged, eagerly anticipating a nice dance tune...
*(Aayh!)*
*Ah-ah-ah-ah-I*
*Wanna feel the music take me away*
**d**(ಠ◡ಠ)**b**
(so far I'm thinking... all right, nice female voice, nice beat and range...)
**d**(ಸ◡ಸ)**b**
*When you're away at work*
*I'm seeing this other guy*
**d**(ಠ_ಸ)**b**
*He's treating me really well*
*You know I don't ask for much*
**d**(ಠ~ಠ)**b**
...then later...
*Sorry to break your heart*
*(But you don't really give me much choice, do ya)*
**d**(ಠ_ಠ)**b**
*I have to live my life*
*(And all I wanna do is to dance and have fun)*
**d**(ಸ︵ಸ)**b | She's boning some other guy (who's treating her well, how nice) while her guy is at *work*, and she just wants to *dance* and *have fun*. |
t3_pguy0 | AskReddit | Never thought this would happen with Pizza Hut Delivery. | Ordered a pizza and some soda for dinner one night, came out to like 25.69
I was busy on the computer with something so my girlfriend went and answered the door. She was in a hurry and the guy asked for the card.
She ran back in, grabbed the card, and shortly after came in with the pizza.
When I asked her how much she tipped, "Oh shit, I forgot to tip." I told her it was okay, I'd get the guy back next time.
I checked my account to day to find that Pizza Hut charged me 30.69 for the order.. In other words, someone forged a 5 dollar tip onto the order.
Normally this wouldn't be too much of a problem, it's only 5 bucks, what I was going to give him on the next visit.. The problem is that he forged it without my permission.
Called the Pizza Hut and spoke to a manager, got a $10 off for my next order, and he was going to look into the situation.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? | Girlfriend forgot to tip the delivery guy, someone in turn forged a 5 dollar tip onto the order. Has this happened to anyone else? |
t3_16jdoe | AskReddit | What does sentimentality mean to you? | I live in my family home. I hate my job, and living maybe one paycheck ahead sucks, even though i know i could do better somewhere else.
My family literally founded the town i live in, and we've had this house for over a hundred years, but shitty economy and cold winters make me want to pick up and move my family somewhere else.
It's hard to explain, because common sense says go, but it's an enormous thing to give up this much history. What do you guys think of sentimental things? Did any of you leave an assload of history behind to go somewhere new? | would you give up a hundred years of family history, say to hell with it and get out of Dodge just because life could be better? |
t3_21op8e | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [24 F], 2 years, live together, feeling weird about boundaries. | To start off, I must let you guys know that this is my first serious committed relationship, so I'm not experienced in that I have nothing to compare this to other than what my own feelings are telling me.
There are some issues I've been having regarding boundaries in our relationship that seem weird in the sense that I'm almost certain other people in monogamous relationships respect said boundaries with no issue. My girlfriend will openly flirt with other men in front of me (and I've caught her lightly flirting behind my back twice) and she expects me to be okay with it. The fact that I'm not okay with it, according to her, means I'm just an insecure guy.
We went out to a club the other night with some friends and she got drunk and gave her number out to two other men. When I asked her about it and told her that that's not something people do in a monogamous relationship, she said she's just looking for new friends and I should stop being so suspicious of her intentions.
Her negative reactions to me expressing how certain things she does makes me feel makes me feel like maybe I really AM just an insecure dude and this sort of thing, flirting and such, is just something even committed people do.. but it doesn't feel right.
Other than the issue described above, she talks about marriage, talks about how I'm the only guy for her, etc. I think she just gets enjoyment out of flirting with other people because it shows her she's still attractive to other men. But.. I'm not so sure I'm okay with this. In my mind, if some dude starts flirting with her, I'd expect her to politely decline. But when we discuss the issue, she ends up turning it around and I end up feeling like the jerk.
Am I really just over the top or what? | Girlfriend of 2 years flirts with other guys and has verbally expressed that she needs me to be okay with her doing so. I feel weird about it. |
t3_23wvqa | relationships | Me [32F] with my live-in boyfriend [33 M] of 2 years, my lack of communication and shittonne of grief is ruining my relationship | I'll try and keep this short. My dad died on Monday morning. He was terminal and in palliative care when he passed. It wasn't a shock but it still is utterly painful. We also expect one of my brothers to pass away in the next 48 hours. This is my first parent to pass, and my fourth sibling that I've lost in the last 20 years (big family, shitty genes!). Between that and the loss of most of my grandparents and some aunties/uncles along the way, I thought I knew how to cope with most things that come my way, but .....
I always thought that my 'shut down til it feels better' was the best way to go, but my awesome, wonderful (but equally imperfect) BF pointed out that it actually shuts him out and effectively kills all communication in this relationship. He has also pointed out that my usual "Can we talk about this later" happens in a lot of our less-than-comfy dynamics, and that by deferring on the subject I'm actually making the situation worse. And I know he's right. But I have no goddamn clue what the fuck I'm supposed to say. I usually deflect with a change of subject or inappropriate humour (see above), but that obviously has to change.
So, how does one learn to communicate healthily when dealing with so much grief? I find it hard to talk about because it's so painful, and trying to figure communication out while feeling swamped is making everything more difficult and frustrating. This is the first, healthy relationship I've been able to have, and I'm ruining it. But getting out of bed is almost impossible, let alone trying to go back to work and normalcy. We are both in couples and individual therapy which has helped, but it's still something I'm struggling with. He is the best partner I've ever had. I want to do everything I can to make it work, but I just don't know how.
How can I learn to express what I'm feeling when I can't even describe it? And what suggestions do you have to improve communication with a spouse on a long-term basis? | Lost my dad, about to lose another sibling, I shut down when grieving and BF needs more communication. How do I learn to do this? |
t3_1ekk6j | BreakUps | I (M/26) am still in love with my ex (F/25), and I am sure that she is still in love with me. (kind of an x-post from r/offmychest) | M/26, F/25. We dated when we were 20 for about seven months. Its silly, and I came up with a lot of reasons why we broke up, but it all comes down to the idea that I could not handle the idea of being a father. I like to think that a large part of it was that I was still reeling from my mother's death from cancer, and that I was a terrible alcoholic at the time, but nothing excuses breaking up with her through a shitty text message.
Over the past couple of years, we've reconnected even though we live across the country from each other, and we speak every couple of days. She's been a big proponent for me to pursue the things that I love (so far, which have included the Army, running my own photography business, continuing with a full-time Department of Defense contract as an IT technician, working at the bar I frequent as a DJ/bartender, and volunteering for Habitat for Humanity).
I know that r/relationships is really meant for people looking for advice with troubles regarding their relationships, but the way I feel is too significant to not tell anyone.
I'm leaving for a deployment soon, and she's currently dating some guy. I guess he treats her okay, however, in our past talks, it seems as though she's completely unsure of whether or not that guy is for her. I do not want to say that I am somehow better than he is, but I hope she makes a decision that ultimately makes her happy, regardless of my involvement in it. I'll get by one way or the other, but I really do hope its me. | The takeaway is that sometimes, time away from a person is everything you need to realize that they were always the woman/man that you needed. |
t3_1bu1om | relationships | I [21] am having trouble dealing with the fact that my girlfriend [22] likes to keep in touch with her ex-boyfriends. | We've talked about it a lot and I've voiced my concerns and discomfort with the situation and she's apologized for putting me through it because she never fully got closure. I've never been in a stronger, more open relationship in my life and I've never been happier. She'd never cheat on me, and this situation isn't enough to make me not want to be with her, it's just frustrating. We'll be watching television or out at dinner and I'll see his name pop up on her phone and it immediately puts me in the foulest mood. Am I being unreasonable for finding this upsetting? I have been making progress here with mood-control, it's just a pain in the ass and I feel like she is too focused on this communication with him to focus on being in the present with me. She's over him, I know that, she just values the relationship. Is it okay for me to just take some time getting used to this? It doesn't help that I find him insufferable for a list of reasons she's let trickle out over the five months she and I have been together. He just seems like a terrible person.
Anyway, I might just be ranting here, but thanks for reading regardless. | Girlfriend of five months likes to keep in touch with her shitty ex-boyfriend, I don't feel comfortable with it and want advice on how to get over myself about it and if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way. |
t3_1du8y8 | relationships | My brother [m24] left for the second time on Naval deployment in February without telling me [f21]. He just emailed me to tell me he left, and I am furious. | My brother joined the navy to support his wife a few years ago, and is now gone on his second deployment. He returned in the fall of last year, and we would Skype and talk often. He left without saying goodbye (for the SECOND time) in February, after promising me he would come see me. He has just now emailed me to tell me he left... Three months ago. Our mother is ill, and he didn't tell either of us he was deploying. He didn't say goodbye to anyone but his wife, who he has bee planning in leaving and cheating on mercilessly. Am I overreacting or am I being reasonable? I love my brother and I think he loves me too--he hash name tattooed across his back, from shoulder to shoulder. But this behavior alienates and baffles me. | My older brother deployed for the second time without saying goodbye to me or our ill mother. I am pissed. Am I overreacting? |
t3_zr51k | relationships | Help Me Get Over Myself | Hey Reddit,
I have nothing to be unhappy about. I'm in a long term relationship (3 years) with a girl I think might be perfect for me. We have a lot of similar interests and life views. We almost never fight. I think I love her (think because I'm having these issues) and I'm pretty sure she's even more crazy about me. We're both 21.
Yet, I feel like I'm missing out. She's my first real girlfriend (had a short relationship in high school, doesn't really count). The problem is that I want to experience more than 1 relationship. I've never had a one night stand or a friend with benefits or dated someone the complete opposite of myself. I keep picturing the single life as lots of one night stands and new girlfriends (even though none of my single friends have this at all).
About a year ago we broke up for about 2 months. I thought I was fine until she hooked up with another guy and it really hurt. I know I care about her a lot. We even have a healthy sex life.
Convince me that I'd ruin my life by throwing this away. | In a long term happy relationship, can't stop feeling like I'm missing out. Convince me that she's the best thing that'll ever happen to me. |
t3_vts77 | AskReddit | Are there any other young adult caregivers out there? Who are you caregiving for, how does it change your relationship, and what do you do to cope with the stress and tension? | My mother was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and she's been in quite a flare. She can't drive, barely has energy to make it through the day (sleeps anywhere from 12-16 hours a day), leaving me with many of the duties of running the house and errands. I also have to make sure she takes her medications, gets to doctor appointments, etc.
I am a college student on break for the summer, but I am working at an internship in the mornings, so my days are fairly routine and busy. This has been quite a role shift for me and my mom, and has put quite a lot of stress and tension on our relationship. As a result, I feel isolated, because my friends are busy having "normal" college summers (beach, summer jobs, vacations, etc) and they can't relate to the experiences that I've been having. I'm not neccesarily complainig, but I'm more curious to see if there were any other redditors out there who fit the definition of a "young adult" caregiver, and how you managed to deal with all of these issues. | Mom was recently diagnosed with MS, and now I'm having to adjust to all that that means. Does anyone else have similar experiences? |
t3_37761j | offmychest | My roommate is talking trash about me | My roommate of two years is talking trash about me. When it was our freshman year, she started to date my older brothers best friend. She knew my relationship with him and didn't tell me until they were both drunk, barged into our room with half their clothes were gone, the night before my midterm exam, and told me. Since then, she's never been home and when her parents came to visit, she said that all the mess was my stuff, which I was fine with. Then her mom keeps calling me and asks where she is and my roommate told me to always tell her that she is off on a run or something (she never runs).
That summer, it was my birthday. She drove all the way down to "celebrate" aka spend ten minutes with me and spend the whole weekend with her boyfriend. She overslept and her mom called me asking where she was and I told her that I have no clue since I was at work. My roommate got mad at me for that because I didn't say that she was at my apartment sleeping or something.
The following year, I'm living in a 2 bedroom apartment and she has been home for the night a total of 7 times the whole year. 3 of those times have been because her and her boyfriend broke up and she needed a place to stay.
Now, my brother texted me saying that my roommate is talking smack about me and the boyfriend, my brothers best friend, is doing nothing about it. My brother said that when he and the boyfriend talked, the boyfriend said that he was in the relationship because her family was rich and she will do anything he tells her to do. I just had to get this off my chest, so thanks for reading, reddit! | roommate and her boyfriend (my brothers best friend) have been talking trash about me after I have done so much for them. |
t3_2ute1s | relationship_advice | I (23F) don't know how to leave an unhealthy relationship with my long distance boyfriend (31M) | I don't like to think of myself as someone who is illogical and only listens to her feelings but this relationship has changed me for the worse. Things were great in the beginning but I've turned into a jealous, insecure and paranoid person. It started when he kept lying to me and I kept catching him but I also kept forgiving him. There are numerous arguments with name calling and saying hateful things to one another. He doesn't support me and discourages me from pursuing my dreams. He wasn't there for me when I made a difficult decision to abort an unplanned pregnancy in the recent past. I honestly can't remember feeling happy with him.
When I bring up these shortcomings, I'm accused of "holding grudges" and being unforgiving. I'm accused of not knowing how to love. He's said sorry and he says he loves me, and deep down, I hate myself for staying. I don't know how to get out of this relationship. It's so dumb, but I love him so much. My friends and family don't like him because they're tired of picking up the pieces when he hurts me. I don't know how to break this cycle. | Having a hard time leaving an unhealthy relationship with a man I love. How do I toughen up and listen to logic and not my heart? |
t3_h65h5 | AskReddit | Reddit: Do you think it's more important to pursue what you love, or what will enable you to live a comfortable, financially stable life? | I'm about to finish up my freshman year of college. I'm majoring in Writing. I'm not sure if I'm going to concentrate in creative writing or something else, or just not have a concentration at all. I have a minor in classical studies, and a minor in marketing. I like to think that I'm decent, but I certainly know that there are people better than me. I want to work in the publishing industry, preferably in editing. However, I know this is a difficult field to get into, and that internships are definitely necessary.
I got rejected for an on-campus job working as a writing tutor, today. I can apply for the spring semester, which I'm well aware of. However, this rejection has served as a reminder of how difficult it might be to get anywhere with my degree. I'm not sure how to make myself stand out when I'm applying for internships, though I'm going to try to get more involved in on-campus publications next semester. Still, I'm left wondering if it would have been a wiser decision to major in a different field. The job market is tough right now for everyone, I know that. But there are certainly some fields that would be more likely to lead to financial stability and job security. I considered a number of them when I was applying for colleges, but I knew I wouldn't be as happy in any other degree program, and that I wouldn't enjoy them nearly as much as I enjoy the Writing program. Still, I can't help but wonder if I'd be better off switching majors - or adding a second major - while I still can, and accept the fact that most people don't ever get their dream job. | Going for what many would call a 'useless' degree, but a 'useful' degree program wouldn't make me happy. What's more 'worth it'? |
t3_4ezvo2 | relationships | I [28 M] have been with my gf [27F] 3 years and I don't want to have sex. | I've been dating my girlfriend for a couple years and we've always had a good sex life and are very attracted to each other. Lately I have no interest in having sex. I can't think about it. It feels like imagining having sex with a platonic friend.
I'm in a high stress career and have had several projects going on over the last few months. My depression and anxiety have also been really bad. This definitely affects my sex drive, but I still have the (lessened) desire to masturbate. I'm not tempted other people, but I'm worried I lost that physical spark for my gf. This is my longest relationship and she is my best friend. I don't want to break up. Is this normal? Do people lose the spark and get it back? Could it just be my poor mental health? | I'm worried I'm no longer physically attracted to my girlfriend, but it could be my poor mental state. How can I know for sure? |
t3_2w3gt3 | relationships | 20 M losing sleep over ex 20 F | Well to start things off I was in a relationship with this girl for two years and never had felt more strongly about a girl as I did her. We broke up recently and go to neighboring colleges. I miss the girl to death and genuinely do want her back in my life, but I'm more concerned about the person she's becoming.
The past three weekends have been rough to say the least for her. She's been getting with multiple guys each weekend and has passed out at parties a few times. Never would I have seen this coming previously and I'm concerned for her.
To make things worse she directly told me these things, not in a bragging way, but she told me she felt terrible about herself. That obviously hurt because I was always the person there for her to support her but now that she's gotten rid of me I can't do that for her anymore.
What the hell is going on here? Should I be losing sleep over the well being of this girl that broke my heart? I don't know the answers all I know is I can't stand the person she's been the past few weeks and I hope that isn't who she's becoming. | Ex has turned in to someone I can't stand, but its causing me to lose sleep because I don't want to see her end up like that |
t3_4l30g9 | weddingplanning | Wedding woes depressing me. Want to cancel [rant/advice?] | Throwaway.
My SO have been together for 7 years and have a 1 year old together. We became engaged last June, and NO ONE cared. Our parents were like meh. My mom even showed her distaste for my ring. (Rose gold? really!?) Thanks mom. Fast forward to planning our wedding, we can't afford the wedding I want. I know I can't have everything, and should be grateful for my wonderful SO. I am, I love him to death. We are living in the #2nd most expensive place in the states (san diego) , on 1 salary which isn't great. We can live okay, but plan a wedding in 6 months? 4 months left and still havent booked major vendors. Fuck me. I'm stressed out. Nothing is in our price range. My family has given me $700 which is 1/3 of local catering quotes. I suggested a taco guy ($500) to my gma and she basically laughed in my face. My SO is giving me no help in the planning. He thinks the quotes I am giving him are high end and says we can find cheaper on craigslist. I DON'T WANT MY WEDDING TO BE A GAMBLE WHETHER OR NOT VENDORS SHOW UP. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here!!! I cut so much out already. No rehearsal dinner, we rented a hall from his job (work discount $400), ceremony in the hall. (No beautiful beach wedding which was my original vision) costco invitations, goodwill dress, no jewlery, no photographer, no videographer. Honestly will be cutting a lot more when the time gets closer. Seeing these posts on reddit with 10,000$ budget depresses me and having a kid already makes me feel "used" and not being a "real" bride worthy of a beautiful wedding. How can I feel happy about this again? Is it worth it? | Broke bride crying money tears Please tell me it'll come together in the end and I'm just being a little bitch. |
t3_281nmp | Parenting | I Received an Inappropriate Message from my Daughter - What's the best course of action? | I had a birthday recently and received an email from my 20yo daughter wishing me a happy birthday. The body of the message was very thoughtful and sweet, but she linked me to a music video by Katy Perry that I found to be utterly inappropriate. Here is the link for anyone unfamiliar with it:
I think I would be brushing this off as an awkward mistake and assume she was not familiar with the entire song and its lyrics, but she's always been a Katy Perry fanatic, so I can't believe that's the case, and a few weeks ago I received a photo text from her trying on a swimsuit at Target. By the time I saw it she had already sent another one saying "oops sorry that was supposed to go to Megan". I didn't think anything of it at the time, but now I'm starting to freak out.
I'm in my mid 40's and have always had a good relationship with my daughter. I wouldn't say we're very close, but we've always gotten along well and there's never been anything like this before. We don't have any daily contact right now. She's in college about an hour and a half drive from here and this is her first year staying off campus so she's working there through the summer. But she's driving back this weekend to celebrate my birthday and Father's Day, and I'm not sure what to do.
Should I just ignore the video completely and act like I didn't open it? Should I tell her I found the video inappropriate and it made me uncomfortable? Should I try my best to make light of it? Nothing like this has ever come up before so I'm at a loss for the best course of action. Does anyone have any suggestions? Could someone please tell me that I'm just reading way too much into this and everything will be fine? Or that it's a new trend for girls to prank their dads? | My daughter emailed me on my birthday and included a link to Katy Perry's birthday song and it made me extraordinarily uncomfortable. |
t3_3npuoq | relationships | All my (18f) boyfriend (19m) does around me is play video games | We've been together for over a year. I commute to college, and do a lot of homework at his house during the day (I stay at his house due to issues at home). He works until about 6. When he gets home, I ask questions; how was your day, anything interesting happen, etc. I show him that I care about him, and how his day went. I barely get any response. He doesn't like when I ask about what he's doing with friends, or if I ask about work.
When he gets home, he just wants to play video games. I, however, want to spend quality time with him (board games, go out on a date, play video games together), since I only get a couple hours with him a day. Our nights consist of me watching him play video games. I've talked to him about this issue, and he just gets annoyed. Nothing has changed.
When I say things like "have a good day" instead of hearing, "you too! " I receive "I will". Didn't get anything from him for our anniversary, and he usually doesn't want to sleep together at night. Several times a week he pesters me to sleep in separate rooms, which hurts me. I'd rather sleep in his arms than alone, but he obviously feels different.
I love him to death, and can't imagine my life without him. Don't get me wrong, we do have fun sometimes, we laugh a lot, etc. But the selfish sort of behavior occurs every day, and during these times I wonder if he's even interested in me. I start feeling empty and unwanted. I have anxiety and self-esteem issues, and whenever I bring anything up along the lines of "I'm not feeling good about myself", he usually gets mad, groans, and says "you look fine". He's not caring like I want him to be.
I know this isn't as serious as most issues on this subreddit. I just want to know if other people think his behavior is selfish/strange, or if it's just me. | Boyfriend only seems interested in playing video games, even when I'm around. I've talked to him about it, he rolls his eyes, gets mad, and nothing changes. |
t3_30s7a4 | relationships | I [18f] get violent feelings towards girls who talk to my bf [17m] | This is probably going to make me sound like a psycho but I get violent feelings towards other girls who talk to or hang out with ny boyfriend. I've acted on it once, Because of a girl who kept texting him and she acknowledged that he had a gf but she still wanted to pursue him and I confronted her, she got defensive, and I hit her.
I get these really angry emotions building up whenever I hear about or see another girl being around him, even if I'm walking with him and my friend or something, he has to be on the other side of me not beside another girl. I don't have any idea why I'm like this. Help? We've been dating for 10 months btw. | I get very jealous of other girls and sometimes get feelings that make me want to lash out violently towards them when they talk to or hang out with my boyfriend. |
t3_3rmyke | tifu | TIFU by telling a Chinese girl she was going to die. | This happened minutes ago. I live in China, and as I was standing on the sidewalk of a four lane, two way road, at the corner of an intersection looking for a taxi to take me home. I witnessed a young girl cross the street from the opposite side. She had her nose in her phone, and was wearing earbuds. I looked on in horror as she walked slowly, diagonally, across without looking up from her phone even once. It was a good 15-20 second crossing, and it was agony to watch.
As she walked past me onto the sidewalk, I said, mostly to myself: "damn... You're going to die someday...".
Living in China, I expect most people to not understand English. Some do, but it's rare. Thus I've gotten the bad habit of sometimes just saying my thoughts out loud when I'm alone in the streets and I see crazy shit.
Turns out this girl not only heard me, but understood me as well. The look of pure fear in her eyes will stay with me forever. She ran away screaming, towards a nearby restaurant. I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese at all, but I understood the word for foreigner, and could see some of the people getting out of their seats.
Fortunately, a taxi rolled up just then, I got in and drove off before what I can only assume would have been a swift beating by an angry mob. I'm scared to think about what would have happened in an alternate universe, where no cab had passed by at just the right time...
BONUS - Also just now as I was writing this, I made a huge nasty burp alone in the elevator on the way up to my apartment. I had almost arrived at my floor, so I was standing right by the door when I let it rip. Turns out it wasn't my floor, the elevator had stopped one early to pick someone up, and I basically burped him right in the face. | Accidentally made a girl believe I was going to kill her because I was talking to myself, almost got mobbed, then burped in a dude's face. |
t3_2kuarh | tifu | TIFU By meeting my new "neighbors" | So this literally just happened about 5 minutes ago.
I'm in my kitchen cooking dinner and my doorbell rings. I answer the door and two guys are standing outside.
I say "what's up, can I help you with anything, I'm kind of in the middle of cooking dinner" I say it in a pretty dickish tone because i have no idea who these people are.
They say "oh hi! we're your new neighbors, just wanted to come by and introduce ourselves" (oh and they look high as fuck)
Realizing that I was being a total asshole to them i needed to save face so i jump out the door and introduce my self
"hi, im mdsurf nice to meet you guys. sorry i was being kind of a dick, i thought you were those magazine guys and i fucking hate those assholes".
(by magazine guys i mean the guys that go door to door selling magazines for raise $ for a trip or somebullshit)
I start asking them how they like the complex, which unit they moved into etc and they are giving very vague answers which sets off a bit of a red flag. this goes on for about 15 seconds before i willing let the awkward silence take over to see what their real intentions are and what do you know,
THEY ARE THOSE MAGAZINE ASSHOLES!
Once they busted out their pamphlet i basically just said "you can't be serious" and they turned around and walked away without saying anything | guys trying to sell me magazines introduced themselves as my new neighbors, not knowing who they were i told them how much i hated the assholes who sell magazines |
t3_2x88if | relationship_advice | M (22) feeling sexually neglected by F (21) fiancé. | My young and active Fiance wants nothing to do with sex. The first four years we were together it was constant, the last two years not so much. Sex basically stopped all together about a year ago after we had some small relationship troubles.
The problem isn't that I'm pushing to have sex, I love our relationship as is and respect her libido. The issue is she masturbates almost three times a week (I find her vibrator moved constantly) and hates it when I masturbate or use my fleshlight as she feels that I'm using it because she isn't good enough. | Fiance of 6 years stopped having sex with me altogether about a year ago. Masturbates a few times a week but hates when I masturbate. |
t3_15xljf | dating_advice | Have horrible problems with continuing to talk to girls I have met. [m20] | Hey Dating Advice, im realy hoping i can get some sound advice from you guys.
Alright so im not really sure where to start.
Basically, I can talk to women, thats not a problem. Its continuing the relationship is what i am horrible at.
Ill just give you my current situation because im having trouble putting this into words.
I was at a New Years Party, met a girl, talked for a while, i eventually asked her if she had a partner for the midnight kiss. (Thats what the party was kinda of about)
Midnight comes, we kiss, i tell her it wasnt good enough, we make out for like 15 seconds, then she pulls away and continues texting. (We both were extremely drunk and im not sure she even remembers it, as i barely do)
Anyways, she adds me on facebook, We chat for a while and i get her number.
NOW WHAT?
This is where i fuck up everytime.
In the last year i'd say i've gotten 5 girls numbers, none of which i have come even close to actually dating, but did land a single date with them all.
Since this has happened so many times, i second guess myself like a motherfucker. I can get a girls number, but its actually using that number where i choke. Its like everytime i text the girl, the conversation is absolute shit. Always getting responses like "Yeah, sure, alright, mhmm"
Like why give a number to a guy, if your not going to even try continuing the conversation and go on a half decent date with a guy.
Im sorry this is so cluttered and confusing, please ask any questions if you need more infomation. | How do i use a girls number once i get it? How do i continue seeing a girl? Everything i do feels like im creeping or something =[ |
t3_1kmne4 | relationships | Me[24M] with my SO [23F] of 2 yrs moved in together recently. Not happy with mess and decorating, what do? | Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just started living together and I am having a tough time adjusting. I am kind of a particular person when it comes to cleaning and decorating. I cannot stand clutter and junk. My SO is kind of a hoarder, and has an emotional attachment to things I find to be junk. Every surface has loads of stuff on it.
The decorating feels like I am in a freshman girls dorm room and it bothers me every time I look around. I do not know how to talk to her about the way it makes me feel, and every time I try to she gets offended.
I know it seams insignificant, but I get depressed every time I think about living like this. I think part of it may be I have no place that is my own space, with my own things but how do I go about talking about this? I don't want to upset, but I also want to feel happy about the place I live. | Girlfreind has alot of clutter and we do not share the same decorating style. How do I talk about this and be happy? |
t3_k6gud | dating_advice | Need Advice: How to Introduce new Girl to Co-Workers at a Company Dinner. | Ok guys, so I could really use some advice on how to handle this situation as I have never really been in it. I met a girl on OKCupid about almost a month ago and we have been talking back and forth, texting, skyping, ect. She and I live about an hour away from each other and have been busy so a date has not happened yet.
Fast-Forward to this weekend where I decided to ask her (for better or for worse) to join me for an Employee Appreciation party my boss is having for my fellow co-workers and myself. My confusion comes at the point where I think "Ok, so how do I introduce this girl to my co-workers?" Do I just say "This is my friend,_____"? That seems like the right way to go but I don't want to give the impression that we are just friends or there is no romantic intent on my end. I also don't want to scare her off or offend her. I really like this girl and can see things continuing to the point of being more serious later down the road. However, it is too early to say anything for certain will happen. | Met a girl an hour away from me on OKCupid, talked for almost a month, asked her to accompany me to a party, don't know how/what to introduce her as to friends at party. |
t3_1it3el | relationships | My good friend [23m] just got cheated on by his longtime girlfriend [22f]; it didn't end well. I [23m] have never been in a relationship. How do I console him? | So brief history, they've been together for about 2.5 years, give or take. The relationship was pretty serious - in his own words, he "gave her a ring" (though not of the engagement kind). The relationship even survived a year of him going to law school in a different city.
A couple days ago, I and a few other people were notified by a mutual friend that the relationship was over and that the cheating was the reason. The mutual friend suggested that we give him a call or something to check in. I had planned to, but didn't for two reasons: 1) I've been really busy recently, and 2) I had no idea what to say.
Yesterday, I get a facebook chat message from the friend who'd been cheated on, the first time we've talked since the breakup. Still not knowing what to do, I follow his lead and we proceed to just shoot the shit as per our usual conversation. Partway in, he tells me about the cheating. I listen and provide the usual support (agreeing with whatever he said, "it's her loss, she doesn't deserve you, you doing okay?", etc) but don't take the lead in the conversation and definitely don't tell him that I already knew. Eventually, the conversation naturally segues back to shooting the shit and we continue to talk about our usual topics (sports, history).
A little bit about me: I have zero relationship experience to speak of whatsoever, and almost never talk about my friends' relationships with them. This is mainly because the lack of my own experience and I don't want to be seen as prying. As a result, I've gone through most of my life without having to deal with something like this.
Now, since my friend took the step of telling me about the cheating and confiding in me, obviously I want to do everything I can to be there for him. The question is, did I make any missteps with the conversation yesterday, and where do I go from here? | Friend got cheated on, long and serious relationship over, he talked to me about it, I want to know how I can help him out. |
t3_2p0wq3 | self | I can't deal with personalities bigger than my own. | I'm known to be very confident, charismatic and funny by a lot of people. The problem is, that when there's a personality larger than my own in the same room as me, it's like I take a complete backseat.
If there's someone funnier, someone more confident or someone even better looking, suddenly it's like I stop trying and barely say a word, as I just sit in their shadow - but I'm not doing it consciously.
This can cause problems. Sometimes it makes people see me as either shy or two-faced, neither of which are true. I'm honestly not sure why it happens. Does it mean I have a problem, or is it a normal human behavior? | I see myself as a +10 (0 being an average person). If anything bigger then a +10 is present, then I suddenly go into the negatives. |
t3_413k01 | pettyrevenge | Revenge on the older brother. | When I was 12 my older brother and his friends would constantly pick on me, he's three years older. They would do things like put shaving cream on my hand and tickle my nose with a feather when I was asleep, put toothpaste in my hair, etc. One day I had had enough. I took out my brothers toothbrush, went over to the toilet, unzipped and let that golden stream fly....all over the head of his toothbrush. I decided that wasn't enough so I did a little scrubbing with it around the rim. About a week went by, we would typically brush our teeth at the same time. One night I looked over while he was brushing and asked him if his toothbrush tasted weird. He looked at me confused, then it sunk in. "What did you do, what did you do!" He yelled. I had the last laugh that night but would forever have to use a decoy toothbrush in place of my real one. | My brother pissed me off, so I pissed on his toothbrush and told him about it when he was using it. |
t3_23nsnk | relationships | Anyone have experience with "breaks"? | I, [18m], just issued a short term "break" with my girlfriend [18f] of eight months. Really, I just need some time away from my city, from her, from my repetitive group of drinking friends and get my head a little bit straight before trying to settle into my life and find a place to stay. My morale has definitely got in the way of our relationship and I am willing to put in the work to stay with this girl because this is the first time I've felt like I wanted pursue a long term relationship with someone. Always been very cynical about long term stuff, didn't like relationships because I feel I'm too young and most girls are too serious about things. I'm trying to compensate for the fact that I may be thinking like a dumb young kid and will probably think about this completely differently in a year or two.
I've been going under a lot of emotional stress right now. My parents have kicked me out of the house and I'm feeling lost and depressed right now. I've been feeling like the drinking has been getting away from me as well as a ridiculous amount of pot use that I want to stop. For a while I've had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I need to break up with her but I'm not to myself when I say I love her. She's by far the greatest girl I've ever had the pleasure of sharing a little piece of my life with. There are problems like any couple but it's more about things like her smoking cigarettes, partying too much together stuff life that.
I am hoping that a weekend without much contact will allow me to come back and appreciate her more because I've started to become a progressively shittier boyfriend as time as time goes one, while she continues to be more and more wonderful everyday. Some of it is work stress related (Line Cook at a fine dining restaurant) and the other part is largely due to tension at home. My goal is to come back and realize what I took for granted. | What I am asking is, do any of you have a good experience taking a breaking with your SO and what did you do in the time away from him/her? |
t3_42jkok | relationships | [23F] left out by co workers | Backstory-- After college, I decided to take an internship fairly far away from where the rest of my friends work. There are about 8 interns in the company, and I live with the only two male ones [22m & 25m].
Since graduation, I have basically only hung out with my roommates... the other interns have shown little interest in me. Recently, I have noticed all they (my roommates) do is talk crap about all of the other interns and how they think they are so much better than them. This slowly started to rub me the wrong way... However, all the other interns strive to be my roommates best friends. When I have attempted to hang out with the other interns, I invite them over and they always seem to ditch me to go hang out with my roommates instead.
The final straw was the other night, I went to bed before my roommates got home and was reading with the lights off when I heard them through the wall talking crap about me... since then, I haven't tried to hang out with them any more (I'm still nice/professional at work...but I mainly just hang out in my room when I'm at home now)...but I feel now they are trying to go have big get-togethers with the other interns (this never happened before) and taking pictures and posting them everywhere (I'm assuming to make sure I see them) and I feel like if they started talking crap about me, everyone would believe them just because they want to be accepted. My one roommate is very similar to Regina George-- very attractive and charming and able to get his way with anyone. Am I wrong to stop trying to be these people's friends? Or should I suck it up and continue to follow the group?
I'm very hurt by what they said about me, and I feel like they are probably dramatizing it to everyone to make me look bad.
Part of me just wishes everyone knew what my roommates say about them behind their backs...Sorry, I'm just rambling now... | Should I continue to hang out with people that are mean to each other behind their backs? Am I in the wrong to just continue to hang out by myself and be a little lonely for the next 6 months? |
t3_3e96qj | relationship_advice | Did i [22m] make a mistake breaking up with my girlfriend [26f]? She has a new bf and i cant get her out of my head | Me (22M) and my girlfriend (26F) went through a long drawn out breakup lasting about 6 months after being together for about 1.5 years. We broke up because of the age difference between us and her wanting a long term commitment from me.
I was worried if i settled with her in my early 20s i would later regret it, that i didnt want to be thinking about marriage and kids yet. The relationship was otherwise amazing, first love and we matched quite well.
The breakup was amiable and we said we would still stay in touch from time to time. She was my first serious realationship and first love.
She now has a new boyfriend who is the same age as her, and i cant stop thinking about it, totally heartbroken. When we initially said we would breakup i wasnt anywhere near as sad as am now, i cant stop thinking about her since i found out about this new guy last week and it makes me feel sick.
She is gorgeous and has the brightest personality ive ever met, im terrified ill never meet anyone like her again and wont ever get over her. It makes me think that maybe being only with her and having kids in the near future wouldnt be such a bad thing and maybe she was the right girl for me, but i cant tell if thats just the grief playing with my head.
Did i make a mistake breaking up with her? Is the age difference not as big a deal as i thought it was?
Any advice is greatly appreciated. | broke up with gf older than me by 4-5 years, now she has new bf and cant stop thinking about her, does the age gap really matter |
t3_31jxxa | relationships | Me [30 M] broke up with my GF [25 F] of 1yr, Possible to be friends? | About 6 months ago i was offered position in my company that required me to move. She had already moved 2hrs away a month before and my move would have made the move 5hrs. We had a good relationship, we had a few arguments but nothing major i just didn't think it would survive the distance. So i broke up with her to make it clean instead of having to go through the slow death spiral of the relationship. At first we carried on talking all the time, she came down to visit a couple of times, i went up there etc. All the defenses i had built up when i broke up with her faded and i had strong feeling for her again. But all the sudden she falls of the map, when i confront her she says "she is putting some distance up to protect herself". Now i feel like i got broken up with lol. We still text every other week or so but it tears me up because its so banal and shallow with no heart. Not like it used to be. I cant stop thinking about her. Was trying to maintain a friendship a mistake? I don't want to but do i have to break all contact? | Broke up with GF of 1yr. Tried to maintain freinds but ended up getting hurt. Is no-contact the best way to go? or is there somewhere in between? |
t3_1rmrjz | relationships | So I [20 M] have slept with [20 F] a few days ago. What's some good advice? | What are some easy ways to bring up and talk about what she'd like to happen between us. In the past I've always been extremely direct and just asked the people that I'm involved with what they'd like. I've since been told that that can be off-putting. So what I'd really like to know are easy ways to bring this up in conversation or some easy tells to find out what she'd like to happen.
**Backstory:** We're friends, kind of. We're in intertwining social circles and wind up together a lot and have always been friendly. In the past, we've made out a couple times at parties or at the bars when we're both relatively drunk.(typically initiated by her)
This pattern continued for most of the late summer and fall until she texted me a fairly obvious booty call a few nights ago. We hooked up, it wasn't mind blowing, but wasn't bad at all.
Since then, we've texted a little, mostly small talk. Am I supposed to be doing something here: Flirting, saying how good it was, avoiding talking about it, etc.? Or should I wait for her to make the first move again?
To clarify, I've only really been in relationships. I'm not opposed to something casual, it just doesn't typically work that way for me. I also definitely like this girl and would like to continue having fun with her. | Girl initiates making out with me a few times while drunk. Booty calls me a few nights ago while we're sober. Where do I go from here? |
t3_2cmn2m | tifu | TIFU by showing my friends a picture | This happened a few months ago but it just popped into my head. A little backstory. I was at Whole Foods a few months prior to this night and needed to use the bathroom. After I was done I passed by a stall and noticed something odd. Someone had taken a shit, but not just any shit. This was one solid piece of fiber infused glory. Easily the most well formed log I had ever seen, so naturally I took a picture.
Fast forward to the night in question. I'm going out to the bars with my buddies and we had pregamed in the car prior to walking to the bar. On our way there the topic of shitting came up and I just HAD to show my friends this glorious shit I had witnessed. We all had a good laugh with some shock and awe thrown in.
So we get to the bar and it was a little dead but we stuck around. Towards the end of the night some of my friends stepped outside for a smoke so I joined them. I notice a girl standing by herself so I approached her and chatted for a little while. It was time to go, so I asked her for her number. I went to pull out my phone, and what was the first thing we both saw? A toilet with a fucking 10 inch log in it. I panicked as I saw her face go from smiling to WTF in an instant. I explained the situation but needless to say it did not end well. | Took a picture of a shit, showed my friends then later bombed with this girl because it was still open on my phone. |
t3_ummo8 | relationships | Does my guy-friend like me? Mixed messages and Confusion | I'm currently in a 2.5 year relationship with my boyfriend who I just moved in with. I have a friend who I'm close with, (um we'll say George). George is 27 and I'm 26. These are the things that mess with my mind about George:
-him sending me songs fairly often, that he 'just knows' I'd love (usually sentimental-ish ones that I do love)
-an awkward, never spoken of drunken night in which the dance floor got a little out of hand and the dancing turned not really friend-like
-another drunken night in which he confessed that he would 'REALLY' miss me on his trip he was leaving for and kissed me on the cheek
-Insisting that I stay at his place when I come back to Vancouver to visit (I moved an hour and half away) "because it's so convenient" (this is not true), and us alone having very long, intimate conversations (he tells me things he hasn't told anyone)
-At the risk of making him sound kind of creepy, I catch him staring at me sometimes (haha)
All these things sound fairly clear, BUT on the flipside:
- He talks to me about other women often. Like enough that I don't understand if he's just come to accept that I'm with someone else and sees me as a guy, or he's genuinely wanting advice, or what?
So guys, I have debated if I should go for my friend but the fear of him not even actually being into me has stopped me from doing anything about this. I do like him. If I knew what he thought I might actually let myself consider any forward motion from here. I wouldn't do anything with him until I end things in this relationship which I'd need to think over, but I just would like input if I'm way off that he's interested in me as more than a friend. Should I say something? | tension between myself and a close friend while in a LTR, would like clarification of his mixed messages before destroying current relationship...or the friendship, am probably screwed on both accounts |
t3_1iomcr | relationships | I'm (18 M) going to enlist into the Army. Worried about my relationship with GF (17 F) of 10 months | I'm 18 years old and recently graduated high school. Due to unavoidable circumstances I'm going to probably (90%) have to enlist into the Army (not mandatory service, I'm from the US).
I'm worried about my relationship with my girlfriend if I enlist. She knows I was going to a few months ago but I backed out when I got accepted to a college I wanted to go to. That didn't work out (financial reasons/zero communication from father in regards to "How am I going to pay for college?") so it really looks like I'm going to have to enlist.
I've been with her for 10 months and it's been a rocky road to say the least. But I love her and she loves me and we are committed to each other. I like this relationship and want to keep this relationship.
We've had fights and our own insecurities and the main issue that arises from me enlisting would be the thought of infidelity (from both of us). Me thinking the classic "GF's/wives cheat when you deploy/go to basic" and her thinking I'll cheat on her with other girls (I've never done this just to be clear).
She has depression (and so do I, I think.. not diagnosed though so take it with a grain of salt) and goes to a therapist (usually once a week, she doesn't go sometimes when she feels lazy [30 minutes away]) and throughout the very beginning showed clear signs of this (some would view our relationship as clingy [because we spend a lot of time with each other, which I like and she likes too] but I don't consider it clingy) and her parents aren't very thoughtful in handling her depression (also does not support our relationship).
I guess it comes down to trust (I lurk this subreddit a lot lol)? If so how could we both trust each other more? | I'm enlisting into the Army. Worried about (rocky) relationship with girlfriend. Afraid of infidelity. |
t3_1bueub | relationships | I [19M] have a crush on a girl from one of my courses last quarter, but am unsure about our situation. | The girl was in my course last quarter. I didn't have enough guts to talk to her until about a week or two before finals week when I realized it was now or never to make an attempt to get to know her. I tried at one point to see if she would like to hang out. I didn't get a definitive answer cause she was in a rush to catch the bus. She told me to add her on Facebook. I eventually did. I also ran into her a second time during finals week but didn't bring up the fact that I wanted to hang out because the following week was Spring Break, and I assumed she was going home before the weekend.
Anyways, since then, we haven't really talked. Maybe once or twice between when I ask her if she wanted to hang out and now. I tried messaging her on Facebook this past week since we don't have any courses together this quarter. Thanks to the awesome Facebook technology, I saw that she had seen the message but ignored it. Now I immediately took this as a "I'm not interested"/"I don't want to talk to you" but some of my friends say it's my fault cause all I said was "Hi" and wasn't direct with the fact that i wanted to start a conversation.
So are they right? Did I go about this the wrong way, or am I chasing someone that really might not be interested. I don't really know her, but I would like to get to know her. Should I make another attempt to talk to her? | Met girl last quarter. Told me to add her on Facebook. I did. We talked a couple of times, but she ignored my last attempt at a conversation. Should I make another attempt or is this a lost cause? |
t3_3c7gy6 | relationships | I [M21] followed my girlfriend [F21] of 3 years to another guys house while she was supposed to be working. What do I do now? What do I say to her? | We have been together for 3 years. For the past few months she's been acting distant. She's also started taking Saturday night shifts at work. I tried to tell myself that it was nothing, but it kept bugging me. Last night I decided to follow her as she left for "work." I got my friend to drive me so that she didn't recognize the car. Anyway, long story short, I saw her go to a strange house, kiss the guy who answered the door and then enter the house. Probably the worst part is that this is literally the first time that I followed her, so how many times has she done it before?
I'm at college now but usually she would get home from work an hour or so ago. I am assuming she's there now, I had an early lab today so I had to leave early.
I don't know what to do. I haven't spoken to her since she left last night. Do I just go home later today and tell her I saw her? Do I just throw her stuff out of my apartment? I know I sound stupid but this is my first relationship so I've obviously never dealt with infidelity. I've always had trouble feeling my emotions, especially in times like these. So I've generally sought comfort in rational sequences of steps in which I could follow. I just need some idea of what to do at this point. | I [M21] followed my girlfriend [F21] of 3 years to another guys house while she was supposed to be working. What do I do now? What do I say to her? |
t3_2bbbt7 | Dogtraining | Having a problem with a Gentile leader one my 1 year old golden... | I have a 14 months old male golden retriever he's truly a sweetie pie except for the fact that he pulls so hard on his leash. The gentle leader along with clicker training and lots of time spent on walks hes finally getting the whole walk on loose leash this device is amazing!
Except for a new problem that has raised. Hes always hated it and often paws at it or stops and drags himself of the ground. Normally this isnt a problem as i just redirect him by continuing the walk. However lately he stops and paws at it so much or when i have him in "down" position when people walk by he just focuses on getting the thing off and has now successfully been able to remove it 1 time. This makes for even more difficult walks. How do I began to train him to stop pawing at it?!? its getting to the point we aren't able to walk for anymore as his paw gets all tangled and he is now jumping up to try and get it off. | Golden keeps pawing at gentile leader and was able to get it off once, now its very difficult to walk him how do i train this out?!? |
t3_2k2tmt | relationships | Me [21 M] really into good friend [20 F] of several years, not sure what to do | Well, to start at the beginning, when I was in high school I met a girl who I thought was really amazing. She's pretty, and she gets my humor more than anyone I've ever met, and I actually find her funny which is pretty rare for me. We hung out for several months, she was in a relationship and I didn't want to be "that guy" and hit on her while she was dating someone else, so I simply admired her from afar.
After she eventually became single, I finally (sort of) worked up the courage to try to date her. We spent a couple weeks awkwardly holding hands until I found out that one of my friends was already pretty much dating her (making out, going to amusement parks together). I was absolutely destroyed, but I continued hanging out with both her and my friend.
Fast forward to now, probably 5 years after I failed at getting her to like me. We've both been through a handful of really rough relationships with people who lied and hurt us both, and we're both recently single. I've been hanging out with her a bunch now, playing beer pong and shit probably 3 times a week. I've completely fallen for her again, and I don't know how to go about telling her how much I like her without putting our friendship in jeopardy. She's also REALLY hot, and pretty thin and I'm kinda overweight. I also have severe depression and various anxiety issues that make it really hard for me to believe anyone so wonderful would ever want to be in a romantic relationship with me.
I'm really worried about being rejected but I also really want to take my chances here. I'm absolutely atrocious at talking to people about personal stuff like this, especially when it's a girl I really like, but I really think we would be almost perfect together. | Have fallen for girl I really liked in high school again, don't feel good enough for her and don't know how to tell her how I feel. |
t3_1y0zdp | dating_advice | Valentines Day Party: I made out with my best friend. | My best friend (20) (let's call her Becca for the sake of anonymity) and I (21) have known each other for the last 6 months. We are both college students and work at our university's dorms. I know: Don't shit where you eat.
I knew Becca had a thing for me from the get-go, and some of my fellow co-workers even commented on it. I never really acted on it because honestly I did not see her in a romantic way. Fast forward to last week. I started to get strong urges to kiss Becca. Anyways, last night we and other co-workers were invited to a Valentines Day party. To make the story short, we ended up making out at the party, and later back at the dorms.
I'd like to say I am a good guy. I care about my friends and everyone else. However, when I get into a relationship I turn into an asshole. I'm not justifying my behavior, it's just a proven track record. I don't do relationships. I have commitment issues and I am not the most emotionally stable guy. I am certain I will hurt Becca in the long run, and she will end up hating me in end. I am aware that this has already changed our friendship. I'm going to talk to her today and the best I can do is to be as up front and honest with her as possible. My dad always told me to be a man and to face the consequences of my actions. What advice do you guys have for me? | I made out with my best friend who also happens to be my co-worker. I don't want to be in a relationship." |
t3_24xxs4 | relationships | My(21f) brother (25m)told me My sister in law(24f) is pregnant again and I responded w i th the first thing that popped into my head. How do I show support without getting too involved? | Hello! Hope you're all having a good morning!
I'm 21 f, been set on being child free since I was a preteen and my mind hasn't changed at all since then. My brother is 25 M and his wife is 24 f, has one daughter who is 5 months old(result of fling she had when they were on a break but he forgave her, it's water under the bridge now. My brother adopted her.).
Now to the story and my pent up feelings, My brother just told me his wife is pregnant. My first reaction was "oh... how do you know it's yours?"
He grew uncomfortable but told me the timeline aligned with him being home and her old birth control expiring. They grew lazy in using protection and didn't mind getting pregnant. The reason why I had blurted out the rude question was because when his wife had their first child, he was devastated when he found out the baby wasn't his. It wasn't cheating since they were separated and on non speaking terms at the time of the fling but they had started talking immediately after the fling had ended and had had sex.
So emotions be damned, he accepted the pregnancy and adopted the girl, my niece.
I have been skeptical of my sister in law since day one. She cheated on my brother since they dated in high school, and like a masochist, he kept taking her back. When they graduated, she kept up the cheating and lo and behold, my brother took her back. They got married and when she slept with a mutual friend and he finally left her. But after a few months, he said he needed her and took her back.
I know this new pregnancy is my brothers since the times align perfectly and his wife hasn't even gone out with friends or family since the first baby was born. But, a part of me feels doom and gloom for my brother. A part of me is happy he'll finally get his own child but I feel like once this baby is born he'll be stuck forever.
Can anyone relate?? | sister in law is pregnant again. I reacted skeptically due to sister in laws shady past. Brother thinks I'm a bitch now. How do I show support despite my skepticism? |
t3_3tl623 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my mum [35 F] last few years, always has a go at me for the smallest of things | No matter what I do I always get shouted at. I was revising some Chemistry and she told me to go the school website and go on some of the Spanish resources to show her how I'm going to revise and such and she asked me "What you revising now? Science?" and then I went to minimize the page to show her and accidently closed it and then she shouted at me saying "**DID I TELL YOU TO CLOSE IT?! I JUST ASKED YOU A QUESTION THAT DOESN'T MEAN CLOSE THE PAGE DOES IT?!**" Literally ALL I did was accidently move the mouse an inch over to the right and got verbally abused and this is a frequent thing like *almost* everyday. | Verbally abusive mother who shouts at me on a daily basis for the smallest of things like closing a page by accident. |
t3_4ouksl | relationships | I [19M] want my father [55M] to go to the hospital after his second time passing out within two months, yet he refuses. How do I convince him? | Yesterday, my father passed out while playing cards with a group of friends for the second time in two months. The first time he passed out was in the middle of dinner at a local restaurant. Each time he passes out, he gets overheated to the point where he is sweating profusely (so badly that his shirt and even pants are soaked) and then loses consciousness for short periods of time; overall it lasts less than two minutes.
This isn't the only problem, though; he refuses to go the hospital just because he doesn't like going to them. The first time he passed out in the restaurant 911 was called. Paramedics came and took his vitals; they recommended he go to the hospital, yet he denied. He went to his doctor the day after, but the doctor didn't find anything out of the ordinary. He says that if he goes to the hospital that he would lose his license, thus losing his job. We don't come from a very wealthy family, so I understand his concern to a point, but how do I convince my father that his life is more important than his job?
He also has high blood pressure and the family has a history of diabetes. He is the only one out of five children who doesn't have it. | My father passed out for the second time and refuses to go to the hospital because he is afraid of losing his job. I need help convincing him that is life is more important. |
t3_k6jus | Advice | Apartment managers wait until DAY BEFORE I move to postpone move-in date. WSID? | My girlfriend and I got a call this morning from apartment management for the place we are schedule to move into tomorrow saying that they accidentally typed a "9/2/2011" instead of a "9/12/2011" for the move-out date of the current tenants. The managers offered for us to move in to a different unit (not near the one we want) until the 15th at no charge (8 days) until our promised unit will finally be available.
They then said that any extra costs such as moving trucks or cable hookup for moving from that temporary unit to our promised unit on 9/15 would be OUR responsibility. My girlfriend and I are losing a day of work each because of this inconvenience. Both the property management and us have already signed our rental agreement for Sept. 7th. To what extent are they obligated to compensate us? | New apartment managers pushed our move-in date back a week, say they aren't responsible for total cost of our inconvenience. |
t3_oqfxn | AskReddit | How can I get more comfortable with intimate situations? | I'll start off by saying that I have a problem with more than just intimacy. I have trouble getting close to people romantically in general. I have friends, that's not the problem. I WAS abused growing up, I think I have abandonment issues. It takes a lot for me to trust someone. I have dated before, and I have had sex before. But with those relationships it took me such a long time to get comfortable.
I have crushes on people, but it's like when I find out they like me back - I just shut down to them. Example - I've had feelings for someone I know for a very long time, they recently asked me if I wanted to kiss them. I immediately shut down, I changed the subject. This is incredibly frustrating since I know that I'm attracted to them and would have loved this opportunity.
I'm uncomfortable with advances of any kind. I like sex, I like intimacy. I'm just stuck, I feel like a child. If I do end up getting close to someone, it's because they're really patient with me. The last person I dated, when we started dating I wouldn't even hold their hand for a long time. We dated for 5 years. I don't want to be this way anymore, I want to be confident and comfortable with affection and intimacy. | I shut down to people who have an interest in me, even if I like them. How can I learn to become comfortable with closeness? |
t3_3d0thn | relationships | He [24M] kissed me [23F] but there were no sparks. I'm brand new to dating, so is that normal? | I went on my very first date ever with a guy I met online. We had been texting for a few weeks, so I knew I liked him, and I found out I really liked him as I got to know him over the course of the date. The kiss was perfectly timed, romantic setting, etc...but I just didn't feel the butterflies or the spark or the huzzah! I thought I was supposed to feel. We ended up making out later, which I enjoyed a lot, but I expected there to be more...Is this normal or have I been exposed to too many rom com/young adult novels/Disney prince scenarios? | Kissed a guy I'm really attracted to, but there weren't any sparks/butterflies. Is that normal? |
t3_515dcq | relationships | [M39] Married to a serial cheater, but terrified of divorce. What should I do? | Just a little background, I [m39] married my best friend [f38] 12 years ago, and little did I know that she was a serial cheater. She's slept with or has had extended relationships with a number of my good friends, or husbands of her best friends (or both), leading to a complete loss of almost all of our friends. She now has no girlfriends left, and I have few guy friends who I would trust to not sleep with my wife. Her therapist has said she has a "Love Addiction", so she started going to SLAA meetings, which has helped her try to understand why she is the way she is. She claims to still love me, and she wants to still be married, but I don't know if it's sincere considering her actions.
To make things more complicated, due to a lot of the guilt she was having over the past few years, she started drinking a lot, and became an alcoholic, which is something that runs in her family. She's 24 days sober, and is attending AA regularly. Unfortunately, she hasn't wanted to have sex at all since she's been sober. Naturally, I feel like she must be so unattracted to me that she has to drink in order to have sex with me. But she claims it's just a negative side affect of her sobriety. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for the short term.
I feel like the crux of my problem is that I'm terrified of divorce. We have 3 young kids, and nobody in my extended family has ever gotten a divorce. I've never been exposed to it, so I'm completely terrified of it. I don't know that any other man would have stayed with her under these circumstances. I probably should've left her after the first occurrence (8 years ago), but I didn't. Now I'm in worse position because of it.
Reddit, I'm just not sure what to do. Do I stay with a serial cheater hoping that she'll never do it again? Or do I face my fear, and end it now? Or something in the middle? Really struggling with this decision. Would love some advice. | My wife can't stop cheating, is an alcoholic, all our friends are lost, but I've never been around divorce and I don't know what to do. |
t3_33zfg5 | relationships | I'm (26M) have trouble deciding who I want to date(31F) or (27F)??? | Ok, I (26M) started seeing "Anna"(31F) a few weeks ago. When I first saw her I thought she was perfect, so I mustered up the courage to talk to her, and eventually we started going out slowly. We've been hanging out somewhat often, we're both pretty busy and had talks about being in a relationship and all that stuff and while she isn't against relationships, we kinda left it at let's take it slow and see where this goes. So I'm uncertain about the future with her. It could be just another person I date, which is what I've been doing for a while now instead of forming a potential relationship which is what I want.
So about a week ago I went to a party with a friend, I tagged along but didn't feel like socializing too much. As we were making our way through the house greeting everyone I noticed this girl that I thought was cute "Heather" (27F). We talk briefly and then mingle with other people. Towards the end of the night there was very few people left, my friend and I along with "Heather" and her friends. We started talking while my friend was saying his goodbyes, we share somethings in common, and she asks for my number. I get all excited, those feelings you know? I couldn't stop thinking about her. So we've been seeing each other for about two weeks and while it's still very new I feel like something potentially great can come about this.
I'm more attracted to "Anna" physically, she's different than anyone I've ever dated, more of a free spirit in some ways. But I think in the long run "Heather" makes more sense on paper. I find her very cute and we're from a close background so it's easier to relate. | I'm dating two women that I like equally, one (30F) the other (27F), but I want to focus on one. Any advice helps. |
t3_2w30ja | relationships | Me 21M met a girl recently 22F only problem is she lives in another city. | I need some advice reddit your my only hope. I recently met a girl who was only in town for a short while and nothing happened then. We began texting back and forth and eventually of course the topic came to where this was going. I feel like it's relevant that we've been sexting a bit too, I say this not to boast but so you all can help me out more.
I'm actually planning on moving there in the middle of the year after my uni term wraps up and I transfer, this was planned before I met her.
My questions are how if at all possible do I keep her interested in me until then? And ultimately is it really worth it seeing as we only met the once? | I met a girl we hit it off she left before anything could happen but we've been talking since. Need some advice on how to proceed if at all. |
t3_52c809 | relationships | I [21/F] don't know what's going on with my...freind? [23/M] after last night. Does he just want sex? | A year ago I met this guy at a store that I frequent and gave him my number. He hung out with me and my friends one night but I soon found out he had a girlfriend (they're broken up now). That was fine. We hung out as friends a few times more until I had to go home for the summer (this was in college and I live out of state). I spent the last year overseas and now I'm back in my college town. I ran into him again and we hung out two days in a row.
Last night we went to a bar and ended the night with a kiss and him coming back to my dorm, but just to sleep. In the morning we did some more physical stuff, but I stopped him when he tried to initiate actual sex, and he was okay with it.
Anyway, now I'm very confused. In my experience people I like either don't like me or just want to hook up. I'm afraid he's only into my body because he's not very talkative and we always drink when we're together. We don't know too much about each other really and when I ask him about things it never becomes a real conversation. I feel I don't know where this is going, but he knows I'm not into hooking up, so I don't know what's happening. Plus, he's moving in a few months. He's so nice and sweet, but it could just be a front to get laid. That being said, I don't know if I'm looking to date either because I've never done that and have no idea how that works lol. | Caught up with a guy I knew and we got a little physical. We've only hung out twice this year and I'm afraid he just wants sex because we haven't done a lot of getting to know each other. |
t3_3xj7r6 | relationships | My [ 19 M ] girlfriend [19 F ] of 1 year and a half has been out of the country for a month, and I might be happier without her | I got together with her when we were both 17, at a party at a friend's house. She is the first person I have been in a serious relationship with, and for most of the relationship, things have been good. At least that's what i've thought.
About her: Something is probably wrong with her. She's been depressed on and off for the majority of her life. She hurts herself, and especially so when things get hard. She is pretty, but has bad self esteem and body image issues. She never believes me when I tell her how beautiful she is, and constantly calls herself fat and ugly.
A few months back, we had a pretty bad fight. She stopped talking to me for a few days, and I felt like I wanted to try new things in life, so I decided to break up with her. I was sad and still really loved her so I got back together after a few days, but in those days she was back to cutting herself, and started taking really strong pain medicine which she got when she had her wisdom teeth taken out.
We spend basically all the time that we are both at home, on skype. She likes me to be there, but it really stops me from doing things that I want to do. I love being with her in real life, but over the internet is very frustrating because we fight quite often over tiny and pointless things like games.
I really don't want to hurt her so I don't know if I should even do anything. But since she left, I have had a lot of freedom to spend my time with other friends, and I feel a lot less stressed out and maybe even happier without having to talk to her constantly. The only thing is that she will definitely hurt herself or maybe worse if I break up with her.
She left to go on vacation in India with her family at the end of november, and it is december 19 now, and while I miss her, I don't think I want to go back to the way things were before. What should I do? How do I stop her from hurting herself? Should I just stay with her? | Girlfriend has been away for a month, I am happier. She might hurt herself or worse if I break up with her, What do I do? |
t3_29igor | tifu | TIFU by slaughtering 2 centipedes. | I guess I really only slaughtered one, but i like to think the second is dead.
About 20 minutes ago, I was working out in my basement. It's not very clean or modern, but it has a bench press so it works. I was doing my thing when I see 2 centipedes just chillin on the wall. I've had a big problem with excessive amounts of centipedes in my house, and I fucking hate the things like any sane minded person does. So I look around for a suitable weapon, and decide on my wooden baseball bat. I nudged at one for a little to try and get it to move up to a more suitable position, and it runs unexpectedly up the wall. I take a swing and knock it down onto the ground. Cue me going all [Office Space] on it. I stomped serveral times and generally took my mind off the other centipede.
That was my fuck-up.
The second one took the time to avenge it's late friend by crawling onto my shoe, and up my pant leg. I didn't notice until it was too late, and screamed like a little bitch. I flailed a little and ended up ripping off my shorts and underwear. Not taking any chances. This was the best time to realize my mother walked down the stairs to be flailing without pants on and a baseball bat in my hands. | Tried to kill 2 centipedes, one crawled up my pant leg, removed my pants and my mother walked into the room. |
t3_2jxon9 | dogs | What kind of do is this. Found him tied up in the woods. http://i.imgur.com/8rUbrid.png | Hi I'm a land surveyor and while I was working my helper saw this dog tied to a tree with no food or water, the owners were outside so I asked them if they were going to feed them. They said they didn't have enough money to buy him food, he said all this while standing next to his king ranch pick up truck. When I told them I was going to have to call the spca they tied the dog across the street so I just took him home. I set up an appointment with the sofa so they can take him but it's on the first of next month. | what kind of dog is this? What food should I feed him? Here is a picture that shows some of his condition. |
t3_3fzro2 | tifu | TIFU by blowing a kiss at a girl | My fuck up is short and simple, it happened this morning on the commute to work.
I'm already standing up on a busy train, and this very pretty red haired girl gets on. I keep checking her out, trying to see if she's looking back at me. She doesn't see me straight away and walks further down the carriage. A few stops later she moves back up the door way, someone asks if she wants to sit down, I overhear her say no as she's getting off at the next stop.
So over the next 5 minutes, she's standing somewhat near to me. We make eye contact a few times, she's smiling, I look away shyly, and try to look out my peripherals and at reflections, trying to see if she's looking back at me when she thinks I'm not looking, and I think she might be looking at me too.
A minutes later, she gets off at a station. I move out the way she moves towards the doors, she smiles and says thank you. I don't exactly know how to reply.
She steps off this train and rather than walk off immediately, she stands there - presumably to change trains. I'm still immediately by the doors, and I'm looking at her.
At this point I'm kind of thinking "fuck it why not" because I'm unlikely to ever see her again. She's looking back at me, long eye contact for a few seconds, we exchange smiles, the start beeping and close.
So she's still there smiling in a casual way, I decide now that the doors are closed, to blow her a kiss, for some fucking stupid reason. She kind of laughed... but here's where the fuck up happened. The doors opened again. All I managed to say was... "erm, Hi." Then the doors did close and we moved off. | TIFU by blowing a girl a kiss and thinking I wouldnt see her again but the train didn't move. |
t3_xkzuc | relationships | [F/25] My boyfriend [M/25] is talking about us having a baby. | We both are 25, college graduates and employed full time. We are really happy together and we have a great relationship. We are very close and we spend almost all of our time together and we both love each other. We've been together, monogamously for 5 years with no breaks or cheating.
For the last month or so my boyfriend has been mentioning us having a baby and how much fun it would be and how we are ready for that step. I'm not sure at all what to make of it. This is a guy who didn't want to become official for over a year and who has told me many times he doesn't want to get married. He has always been kind of scared of commitment. He's never done anything to make me not trust him but I've always been the person pushing for us to be more of a couple. So this is kind of out of the norm. We both want kids but I never thought about having them so soon. I always imagined I would have kids when I was in my 30s.
I'm a little scared to hear him talk about kids but in a way excited. I know he would be an amazing dad and I would love to have kids with him. I'm just not sure of a lot of things. We have friends who have young babies and we both love being around them. I have a couple questions for people that have been there done that with this.
**Is 25 too young for having a baby?** Most of the people we know have their kids older. We could support a baby financially so that isn't the issue.
**Is it stupid of me to have a baby with him if we aren't married?** I think I'd be a little embarrassed to just be his "baby mama". Is it wrong to tie having a baby to being married? I don't think he would leave me but being unmarried doesn't give me the protections that a married woman has. | My boyfriend wants us to have a baby. I have some questions and am a little nervous. Looking for advice/feedback/recommendations |
t3_146brb | relationships | Boyfriend just told me he has an ex-fiancee. How do I cope with this information? | So my BF (27) and I (24) are in a long distance relationship (we started dating in person and have been together about 9 months). Today he casually started a story with "my ex-fiancee came into the bar last night...". I hadn't previously known that he had been engaged. I'm not upset about him not telling me until now or anything like that, I just don't know how to handle this new information - I can't get it off my mind and I feel sick to my stomach.
First, he's told me many times that he doesn't ever want to get married. I suppose I'm okay with this, but it's certainly something we've talked about a number of times. It comes as a huge shock to learn that he had proposed to a girl and planned to get married before (he said about 6-7 years ago).
Secondly, my insecurities are really messing with me. I've always had problems knowing about my BFs pasts, especially those that have involved serious relationships. I'm worried that he, at some point, was willing to spend forever with another girl...and can't help but wonder if I'll always be second to her. What if he never feels that way about me? Now I feel like I have to compete with this girl from his past.
Also maybe relevant, my last serious BF (who I lived with) had an ex-fiancee and never really got over her. In fact, him cheating on me with her is what ended our relationship. I think this feeds my insecurities even more - knowing that he always preferred her to me.
Other than this, our relationship is amazing! I love this man so much and I don't want to let him know that this bothers me (I did tell him that I was really shocked), because it's all just my own insecurities and desire to be ....the love of his life? | Boyfriend told me he has an ex-fiancee. My insecurities are really bothering me and I'm not sure how to deal with this information. How do I get past this? |
t3_2qeh03 | relationships | How do I [26F] have a successful 'come to Jesus' talk with my Dad [60M] about his health? | I love my father. He is a good human being and was a fantastic stay-at-home dad when I was younger. He is, however, super flaky and disorganized. My mom pretty much cracks the whip on finances and house order—he will clean or pay bills, but has to be reminded.
The current problem is his health, mainly diet related. He loves his red meat and beer and junk food and his weight has ballooned in recent years. Not morbidly obese, but definitely unhealthy. He now has gout, which I think he is managing through medication, not dietary changes for the most part. He also has high blood pressure and cholesterol. He acknowledges his diet/health is a problem, but does all his own cooking and isn't really disciplined enough to change.
I don't live close enough to keep track of him, and my mother currently has a lot of other obligations on her plate. I'm going home for Christmas in a couple weeks, and want to try to do SOMETHING.
I want to say something like—"I'm not going to have children for another five years or so. You will be a fantastic grandad, and I want you to be part of their lives. You need to take care of your health in the meantime so you don't keel over from a heart attack."
I'm sure my dad will be receptive to this in theory (especially if I include lots of flattery about how great a dad he is/was) but in practice he will backslide in a week or two.
How do you make a diet/concern for health stick? I've heard of making exercise bets, would something like that work with diet? I need to lose 5 pounds, so I could maybe make it a mutual thing. Whoever doesn't meet their fitness/food goals for the month has to donate to the Republican Senate Committee, or something. I know change for other people doesn't work, but I really want my Dad to be healthier. Does anybody have experience with this sort of thing, and have advice to give? | My dad has a bad diet and lack of discipline. I want to come up with some way for him to be motivated to eat healthy. |
t3_3d5sxb | tifu | TIFU by drinking from my grandmother's makeshift ashtray | This was eight or nine years ago, but still pretty notable.
My family had rented out a beachside condo for a week for vacation a few years back. Pretty early in the morning one day, I was out on the balcony talking with my grandmother, who is a smoker, as she was partaking in her addiction. We were playing some Gin Rummy (was 13 or 14 at the time) and she stepped inside to get something to drink. I hadn't had much to drink, and decided it would be a good idea to go get something. I saw a can of Dr. Pepper sitting on the ground outside; I vaguely remembered that I had gotten a can earlier, but it may or may not have been that one, my stupid younger self thought. It was mostly empty - maybe 20% or so full at the time, so I probably should have just gotten another one (mistake one). Being the young, stupid teenager that I was at the time, I decided it was a good idea to not ask if this one was mine or someone else's (mistake two) before partaking. Took a big gulp (mistake three) of the most disgusting-tasting liquid I could fathom. It was water mixed with my grandmother's cigarette droppings that she was using rather than letting smoldering ashes go flying everywhere.
It took several hours to rid myself of that unfathomably awful taste, and I will never be able to look at a can of Dr. Pepper quite so innocently ever again. | version: Thought I was going to drink from a can of soda. Actually drank from a can of water mixed with cigarette ashes. |
t3_2f9j18 | relationships | Me [26/F] with my [27/M] 9mo, about to start long-distance for a few years: advice requested! | My BF, let's call him "A," and I have been together for about six months after a very close friendship of a few years. Meanwhile, shortly before this relationship started, I broke it off with my prior LTR [also 26M], whom I'll call "B", which had also been long-distance for a long time.
B and I made a lot of mistakes. For example: he never understood why I had to join the program I did far away, which made me feel like he didn't appreciate my need to advance in my career. I never understood why he didn't even bother trying to come join me, because logistically he could have. And on and on. Eventually the main reason I broke it off was because I felt completely disconnected from him, and most of the time I no longer even enjoyed interacting with him. It felt like a chore when it was long-distance because I had to drop everything and call/Skype/GChat him (and started to feel like his therapist). And when we were together for longer periods, not just for quick exciting visits, I just didn't want to be around him.
Anyway, I typed out a bunch of the gory details but I realized what I really want to hear from all of you is some advice. How *do* you make a long-distance relationship work? I know from some experience how *not* to (hide things, don't communicate very often, be passive-aggressive). But what are big and little tips you guys have to make it work? How often do you talk? For how long? What's the longest you should go without seeing each other, taking into account ~4000 miles? | Starting long-distance, again, and want to make it work this time. Tips welcomed. Horror stories will be tolerated. Thanks! |
t3_31jpf4 | tifu | TIFU Easter. :( | So my girlfriend has a sister with two small nephews, 4 and 8. Today is the youngest nephews Easter birthday.
My girlfriend spent almost two hours last night making this really awesome Despicable Me cake, it was the face of one of the minion characters. It was actually pretty damn good, I can post a screenshot if you guys want.
Anyways, today we wake up, have breakfast, make some plastic egg candy things to hide for her nephew, we shower, get dressed up in semi-nice, "eastern" clothes, I grab the cake she grabs the gifts/bag of eggs.
I should probably note that we DO actually have one of those domed cake carriers your supposed to carry cakes in, but ours was being lent out at the time to a friend. So we decided to place the awesome yellow masterpiece on a flat pan and carry it that way. Big mistake.
I should ALSO probably note that my girlfriend just got herself a brand new black Lancer not two freakin' days ago.
You can probably see where this is headed...
On our way out I am holding the cake in my left, phone and other pocket things in the right. She is putting things in the trunk as I maneuver myself into her new car, pan-with-cake in hand. Everything was going great at first, I was in the seat, still gripping the pan with my left, pocket contents in my right.
I decided to put my pocket things into my pocket. Since this required me to tilt ever so slightly to place said objects into my khakis, the pan also tilted...
And tilted..
And then the cake flipped the fuck over.
Top of the cake, all the icing, face down splattered all over my boots and mostly, her brand new black Lancers' poor interior.
I let out a very audible "NOOOOOOOO!" As she circles around the car sporting a face like "oh god what did you do."
End of story, I'm now out at every Walmart looking for a replacement. | Girlfriend stayed up late making an awesome Despicable Me themed cake for her 4 year old nephew, best boyfriend in the world here drops it on her 2 day old cars' carpet. |
t3_1sct1y | offmychest | I wish my father was dead. | My dad got diagnosed with a terrible incurable disease and he's just a huge burden on my mom and the rest of the family. He literally has no control of any bodily functions and were just waiting for him to die. At first, I wanted him to go because his quality of life is so bad, but now I want him to go for selfish reasons. I just want to move on. He can't talk, is always drugged up. He is running our family bankrupt and driving us crazy because he needs 24/7 care. I find myself getting so frustrated with him and I'm constantly anxious and stressed about it.
Sorry this is so scattered. I just really needed to vent. | my dad has an I curable disease, has no control of his body or bodily functions and I just want him to die. |
t3_15z0ss | relationships | I screwed up big time. | I (23M) screwed up big time with my wife (21F) of 2 years. What happened is I have this very old friend (21f) whom I have known for years, we have always made sexual type jokes with each other and it has never been a problem. I then got married and my friend and I kept going on the same way, I didn't try and hide it from my wife or anything but I didn't exactly share the jokes with her.
Well a few months ago my wife found out the things that my friend and I were saying to each other and understandably she got upset, well I told her I would lay off and not talk to her as much and for awhile I was doing pretty good. Until recently
I started talking to the friend again and nothing changed we acted like nothing had changed ever. Today my wife found our most recent conversation and well I feel awful and I've lost all trust with her. I don't want to lose my wife and I do want to fix this.
I have not had an affair or anything that can be called physically cheating. What my wife feels like I have done is breaking a promise and talked about sleeping around with other women.
What I have done so far is I have actually deleted my Facebook which was the one means I could talk to the friend of mine as she doesn't currently have a working phone. I also did block her old number just incase she gets it turned back on. She is a good friend but we have grown apart and to me that doesn't seem like a big deal to save my marriage. Is there anything else that reddit thinks I could do to help get the trust back. I know it will take time but I want my wife seeing that I really am trying to get better. | I broke a promise I made to my wife about another woman and lost her trust, anything I can do to help get it back? |
t3_2cao8n | AskReddit | Office pranks to get back at co-worker, without getting fired?? | A co-worker and I have a feud going and he is stomping me because I am easily startled. He, however, is not "scareable". I need some creative ideas to prank him, or something epic to scare him.
I've done the basics: stole his car keys, put tape over the mouse laser, stole every pen from his office, but nothing satisfies!
What have you guys done in the past that gets their goats?
His office is also in the back with the big bosses, so nothing loud or that would get me fired... But feel free to share your own stories! | What are some good epic pranks for a co-worker whose not easily scared/suprised, that won't get me fired? |
t3_1qdr7h | relationships | I [M20] sent a pic to my [F20] girlfriend of 3, years. She reacted the exact opposite of what I hoped. | We didn't see each other all day and weren't texting much do I decided to kind of go out on a limb and do something a little different. Went to the bathroom and snapped a selfie of my junk. I made sure I got hard so it looked good and what not. I texted her that I was thinking about her and sent the pic. Normally she sends these kinds of pictures. This is not a normal thing for me but I wanted her to kinda enjoy getting pics like I do.
It took a while for her to respond and when she does, I get this,
"Is it bad that that made me a little uncomfortable??".
Well that was the exact opposite of what I was hoping. She goes on to talk about how she is upset I can get that hard without her and how we haven't had sex lately. Yes we haven't had any in maybe a week or so.
Now my self confidence is shot. I haven't felt this bad about myself in a long time. I feel like I was way to forward with it even though I feel I can be completely open and myself around her all the time. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel after making myself very vulnerable. I know I would never react this way to any kind of pic she sent me. I think she is amazing in every aspect. Now I just feel like shit. | sent a dick pic to girlfriend. She seems repulsed. Ends up being super upset with me for the rest of the night. Haven't talked to her since then. (This was last night) |
t3_krkpk | dating_advice | Met a nice, cute girl but unsure what to do next | I'm a male junior in college, she's a freshman. We're in the same class on fridays (3hrs once a week). I started with some small talk about how cool our prof is just to start a conversation. Then progressed until i found out what she wants to do with her film degree, where she's from, just the basic stuff you ask people when you're getting to know them.
Now that we've talked for one class, I'm unsure what to do next. I was going to ask her after the next class if she wants to join me in getting food (it would be at this one place most people on campus eat), let's say the place I mean is called Food 'n Stuff.
I was going to talk to her again during class. Then after class, mention I'm going to Food 'n Stuff to eat, then ask if she'd want to join me. Hopefully we'd talk, everything goes well, and then I would ask her for her number. Is this the right thing to do? I'm not very good at making new female friends, so I wanted to ask anyone for advice before my class Friday. | Met nice, cute college freshman girl (I'm junior), want to ask if she wants to join me at the local eatery after next class. Is this the right thing to do or something else? |
t3_2e0oeb | relationships | My husband [22] keeps pressuring me [25] to get a part time job after promising to support me while in school. How to take care of this? | So I'm in school full time, and my husband is in the military. Every time we talk about me getting a job I tell him I won't and remind him of our deal we made when we got married: He agreed to support me in school, and I agreed that after I'm done with school I'll support him while he takes care of the house after he gets out.
We have **just** enough money to live on. However, this is due to the fact that he bought a house instead of an apt, which would have been more affordable. Having grown up with money (unlike me who grew up poor) he has no idea what things actually cost and I told him we would struggle but he wouldn't listen.
I'm doing my major and it's intensive, I'm not risking my (our) future for some shitty job. (I get financial aid too so it's not like he's actually "paying" tuition btw. He just needs to pay for electricity and food and stuff so I can focus entirely on school and get a high GPA. My financial aids pays for books, clothes, schools supplies etc.)
It's unfair to me because he made a promise to me and now he wants to go back on it. I have done everything I said I would do, I clean the house, take care of our 2 dogs, cook him dinner every night. How do we come to an agreement? | Hubby and I made a deal that I would go to school, take care of the house while he worked full time to support me, THEN after I finished school I would work full time and he would do the house. |
t3_2w37ep | jobs | [UK] What's the best way to get a job at my local Morrisons supermarket? | I live in Edinburgh and I'll be moving in with my flatmate soon. There is a local Morrisons which is a 5-minute walk from the flat. It would be great if I could get a job here but I want to know what the best way is to go about getting one.
The website doesn't advertise non-managerial positions and tells me to access the store directly. **Should I phone? E-mail? Go in personally? If so, should I ask for HR or the manager?** If anyone could help with these questions (bonus points for someone who works/worked there) I would be greatly obliged! | Need to get a job at my local Morrisons supermarket, how should I go about it in order to give me the best chances? |
t3_308uqg | relationships | My [19/M] mom [45/F] opened a package addressed to me and never even told me it came. | I'm not really surprised that she did this, just very hurt. She's a control freak by nature but she's never opened mail addressed to her kids without permission until yesterday. A package arrived for me while I was at school and she asked my sister what it was. My sister didn't know, so my mom said "I wanna see what it is," and proceeded to open it. I only found it this morning open and lying on my floor amidst some dirty clothes. I only know about this because my sister told me when I asked why my box is open. My sisters have gotten plenty of packages before and my mom never bothered with them, but when I get one she suddenly has to know what it is. It wasn't like it was secret; if she had even just called and asked what it was I would've told her! Not only that, but she never even told me it came. I would've thought that she would at least afford me that. I feel like I can't even approach her to talk about it though because she'll just pull the "my house, my rules" card. But to me it's a simple matter of respect. I want to get this across to her in an effective but respectful way. | Mom opened package addressed to me and never told me it came. Need advice on how to tell her to respect my mail. |
t3_25983z | relationships | I [24 F] don't want my ex [27 M] of 1 yr to hate me, but I'm ready to let go.. | Well, here it goes. This is my first post to anything on reddit, so I hope I don't seriously fuck it up.
I recently broke up with my last serious fella and moved away from the city we moved to together. We tried to make the move about our individual issues, not the relationship, and tried to make it work.
After two weeks of hearing no more from him than, "I love you," "I miss you," and "I masturbated to you in the shower, remember that one time on the living room floor?", I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to feel important and that I was worth maintaining a relationship with, not just spewing a few empty phrases. We kept talking after the official break, but yesterday I made him promise not to talk to me for at least a month.
I feel like I keep leading him on if we talk! The fact of the matter is, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be single and I want to find someone who will actually talk to me. | So, when the month is up, what do I do to make it clear that it's over? Am I already too far into the maybe we'll survive? |
t3_wk4ra | AskReddit | Our city is threatening to take our car as well as charge us $200 a day for our lawn. Do we have any options? | **Location: USA**
inb4 "mow your lawn". Our lawnmower is out of commission, and we have no money, but aside from that, I do not feel like it is the city's place to tell us what we can and can't do with our house, if it doesn't harm anybody.
Our city recently implemented a committee with the sole purpose of going around our village and taking pictures of people's yards and homes. If the lawn isn't cut, they charge $200 per day. This committee did not exist when we purchased our home.
Further, we have a car that sits in the back yard that is fully functional, however it is missing tags. Money is tight, so we have not been able to get that taken care of just yet. They are threatening to come TAKE my car because it sits in the back of MY home. (**NOTE**: It does not block the street or alley. The car being where it is has absolutely zero effect on passersby, drivers, or our neighbors.)
I am obviously furious. I am half tempted to make an attempt at convincing the council that we are druids, and love mother gaia and therefore should be exempt from cutting the lawn. Not for any particular reason (other than avoiding an outrageous charge), but on pure principal. Perhaps I am naive, but I feel that if it is my house, my property, my homeowner's rights, then the city should not be able to tell me what I can and can't do as long as it causes zero harm to anybody.
Can we do anything? As I see it, our yard has nothing to do with anybody but ourselves, and I feel that it is a crime to charge for it. If I want long grass, I should be able to have long grass. | Money is very tight. City fines for uncut lawns, $200 each day after the violation is issued. City is threatening to take my car off of my property because they consider it "junk" without tags. |
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