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t3_270ipl | needadvice | Moving out and possibly thinking of breaking lease due to unacceptable damages. Please help. | Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, it was the best option I could think of.
Back story: girlfriend and I are moving out of our current apartment into a 10 year old townhome.
We are suppose to move into the townhome tomorrow and we only got to do the walk through of the property today. The carpet is I'm assuming the original that was installed when built. It's destroyed, there are giant patches of torn up carpet, stains everywhere and it's wrinkling. There are holes in the walls and the plumbing is leaking, as well as a toilet that literally rocks if you sit on it. This townhome is not cheap and we were expecting all these issues to be fixed before we moved in.
My question: we will be voicing our concerns of the current state of the place to the landlord tomorrow morning and we hope that he will have them fixed. Realistically though I don't see him doing that. If we decide that the townhome is in no condition for us to live in, do we have any legal backing to break our lease and have all of our money returned to us? We live in Colorado if that helps. I really hope Reddit can help us. | Walk through of place I'm moving into tomorrow revealed massive property damage leftover from previous tenant. Can we decide to not move in and get our money back even if we signed the lease? |
t3_2xndq8 | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [27M] of three months, keep worrying that he'll suddenly dump me | I think this is a case of paranoia, but it's been getting the best of me lately and I'm not sure how to deal with.
I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now; we had sex a couple weeks back (my first time), and he's told me he loves me, and I said I feel the same (been in love once before though, don't think that's the problem). I was super happy about this, should be fine, right?
Well... some nights (like I guess is normal for progressing relationships?) when we're together I'll say something that I know kind of annoyed him, or he isn't fawning over me crazily or anything, and we're just kind of walking, I start to worry that he's getting bored of me, or annoyed with me. There's really no reason for me to think this, but I think I'm starting to become that annoying girlfriend who's indecisive and always like "Was that annoying? Was that a weird thing to say? Am I annoying you?" or maybe sometimes I'm too cuddle-y with him when he doesn't want to be...
How do I chill out? I'm usually pretty aware of when I'm being paranoid or over the top, but I'm not sure how to stop. What questions should I be asking myself? Do any of you guys have something to tell me about that butterflies stage settling and you being a little nervous about it at first too? Maybe I'm just nervous after having had sex with a guy for the first time. I'm weirdly worried he'll just be bored after that and leave, even though he's a great guy and I have no reason to think that. | Have a great boyfriend but keep getting paranoid/act annoying around him because I'm weirdly worried he'll get bored and leave me |
t3_36cetn | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of almost a year. How in the name of all that is good in the world do I get him to stay on his side of the bed?! | My wonderful gem of an SO and I don't live together, but end up sleeping in the same place at night probably five or six times a week. Each night we fall asleep on our own halves of the bed, and sure as shit after eating Taco Bell, each night around two am I'm telling him to move back over, because he is spread eagle taking up the entire bed and I've been exiled to the six inches at the edge. He moves back over, and then I once again find myself peering into the crevasse that is the space between my bed and the wall a few hours later. This happens every time we sleep together.
We're not large people, both on the lower end of normal weight ranges, and before he falls asleep, we're both quite confortable on our respective sides. I've talked to him about it while he's conscious and he feels bad and doesn't mean to do it, but then he falls asleep and goes right back to it. How do I combat my boyfriend's nighttime quest for manifest destiny? | my boyfriend tries to take up all the space from sea to shining sea in our bed while he's asleep. Obviously this keeps me from sleeping well. How to fix? |
t3_hhb5f | AskReddit | I threw my future away for one night of fun. Need some life advice. | Let me start off by giving a little background. I am 26 y/o and decided to go to college three years ago. I know I was a little late to the show, but I was motivated at the time. I majored in criminal justice and have one semester of classes left. I have wanted to be a cop for quite some time.
Now to the issue:
Being a "non-traditional" student living in the dorms, I found that making friends my age would be difficult. I started hanging out with a lot of the younger crowd. I was drug free most of my life, with the exception of a little pot here and there in high school. Maybe three times in total. I got drunk at school about three weeks ago and found out the next day that I was the "life of the party." As it turns out I was told I was doing cocaine as well as extacy. This completly kills my chances of being a police officer. I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore. The only job that seemed to fit me was that of a cop. Changing my major is not an option as I cannot afford anymore school. So, are there any suggestions for someone about to recieve a criminal justice degree later in life than most? | Wanted to be a cop. Made some bad decisions one night and need to figure out what I am going to do with my life. |
t3_28f672 | dogs | HELP! Puppy suddenly barking at people and I'm really worried. | Hi r/dogs.
Today I took my 4 month old what I think is a JRT/Beagle mix to the dog park. On the way there she barked at an older lady, I told her to stop and she did. Then inside the dog park she started barking at a lady there. I've never ever seen her bark this way and no matter what I did she wouldn't stop. It wasn't aggressive, her tail was wagging, but I couldn't control it.
I found out the lady had cats and was playing with them before she went to the park, so we wrote it off as that. However, on the way home she also barked at another stranger.
**The thing is, I've never ever seen her bark at people. Period. Especially, non stop the way she was doing today.**
A little back story, she has had really bad diarrhea lately and just today I picked up some medication from the vet. So I know she might not be feeling well.
Additionally, she has bad separation anxiety, so I've been crate training her. Two days ago, I started giving her her meals in there and she's in her crate pretty much all the time. The only times she's not is when I take her out. I've also been doing the standoffish thing, where I kind of ignore her, so she will detach from me. Before, she used to roam the apartment.
I've had her a month.
My question is, is the barking something I should worry about individually, or do you think this could be something thats being brought on from her not feeling well/me being standoffish?
I want to nip the barking in the bud.
Thanks so much in advance! I'm at a loss! | My 4 month old puppy started barking randomly at strangers today. She's not been feeling well and I've been standoffish to her. Is the barking a problem? Or could is be caused by the other stuff? |
t3_28skrz | legaladvice | Got into a car accident. Police did not show up. | Hi all,
First of all, forgive me if this is not the right subreddit to post to. I am fairly new to this site, and do not post often.
Last night, around 12:20 am, I was driving home from a concert, and was in a T-bone accident. Both the other party and I stopped our vehicles, and called 911 because it is a busy intersection. My car was in no coidition to drive away due to damages to my front bumper and radiator. The other car had a nasty dent on the passenger side, but was "drivable." Now, the 911 dispatcher said they were trying to get a cruiser to the scene of the accident. About an hour passed, and at approximately 1:30, the second party, and the witness decided to just drive away. About ten minutes pass and I call 911 again because there are still no responders, and I needed help. My phone didn't have much battery left, otherwise, I probably would have called the non-emergency line. The dispatcher on the other end told me to call my insurance, a tow truck, and call again if there are any updates to the situation. By this time, my phone died, and a stranger pulled over to lend us a hand. I called a tow truck, and was there until approximately 3:10am waiting for a tow truck. Now here's the part that upsets me.
While I was waiting, my battery died, and my car was sitting on the side of the road without any lights or hazards on. In this time, a sherrif's van, and two squad cars drove by without stopping, or making sure my friend and I were fine! After the tow, I found a charger, and was able to make my insurance claim. Since there was no investigation, it is unknown who is at fault legally. Could one of us be facing a ticket later in the mail? There was not a camera at this traffic light. What could come of this situation? Also, did I handle this situation correctly? What can I do differently in case something like this happens again? | Was in an accident, called 911 multiple times. Waited for hours for a tow, no responders, could the party at fault be facing a ticket or worse? |
t3_3lhwxx | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF sort of [22 M] 4 years ish, long running emotions with 0 affection | hi I made a throw away account to ask this as my main is obviously relatable to me.
Not sure if this will get read as I don't know how to get it seen but I need unbiased opinions on this!
I guess I'll start when I first met charlotte (changed) about 4 years ago we clicked a lot and there was obviously feelings there l, I fell pretty hard but nothing really happened as we were both in the wrong place.
Fast forward to a year ago and I'm seeing chloe (changed as well) else and the charlotte messages me saying she has always missed me etc and regrets not taking the chance - I don't do anything untoward but it does throw a spanner in the works with me and Chloe for me so that comes to an end and I start seeing Charlotte a few months later.
I really do love her but the issue is this - she is a very cold person and I don't feel as if I get enough affection etc from her, when ever I challenge her on it she just says you know what I'm like when you got with me but I guess in a way I thought that would develop in time with trust?
The sexual side of things is lacking big time as well - I've got a high sex drive and she only wants it once or twice a week if I'm lucky and when I mention this she demonises me and makes me feel like some sort of creep. I understand it's her body and she has every right to say no but it just feels like that whole side of the relationship is non existent and I feel like I need that.
There's also the fact she is reluctant to say we are girlfriend and boyfriend she thinks the label ruins it?
Just a general overview for you - I guess I'm really looking for advice/opinions on the whole thing and her behaviour I guess maybe there is a reason for it all or maybe I'm mad and need to move on if love alone isn't enough? | I love a girl but she isn't very affectionate, doesn't like the bf/gf tag and I don't get enough sex! Opinions/thoughts? |
t3_1lj2w3 | relationships | My[20M] Girlfriebd [19/F] of 9 months, is being sexually abused at work | First off, my girlfriend is a really sweet girl, to the point she wouldn't tell someone (say my bosses boss) if she was being sexually harassed by her supervisor in fear that it would create unnecessary drama at work.
She's been telling me for the past 2-4 months now her supervisor (who just got married too, and who's wedding I went to! For my gf of course I don't know this guy..) has been doing some pretty unprofessional and sexually harassing things to her, to the point its got my blood boiling just writing this.
For example, he makes very innapropriate sexual jokes to her about her ass and her boobs. Things like "I think your boobs are a good size, or oh ___ you have a nice butt" just shit like that..Or my gilfriends told me he's told her she's probably a good kisser. He'll grab her at work on her stomach, ( in a playful way?) And last night he stuck a straw with tea in it down her shirt into her cleavage and soaked her bra....
I've told her to tell her bosses boss and I'm sure this would cease. But she was won't do it. I'm honestly about 1 more complaint from going in there and opening a can of whoop ass on this guy as this is clearly unappropriate for him to be doing.
What do you guys recommend I do? | Girlfriends boss is sexually harassing her and she's too worried it'll cause unnecessary work drama if she reports him. |
t3_332zfu | relationships | Me [20m] was blindsided by my gf [20f] 6 months ago, woke this morning to what I feared was coming | My ex and I were together for 4 years until 6 months or so ago she abruptly cut things off. Things were going so well, I had a great relationship with her parents and the same for her and mine. We never even had any serious fights. I have a full time job so I provided anything she wanted. She was my best friend for 4 years, talked everyday, shared everything that was bothering either of us. Then one day I headed to her place after work because she wanted to talk and she ended it right there. Her reasoning was that she didnt get to experience what normal girls her age do because we started dating so young. She said we are still best friends and that wouldnt change. Of course I was heart broken and since then I have been in a very dark place. After a month or so I could tell she didnt want anything to do with me. Wouldnt talk to me, declined my invites to go out to dinner or maybe a movie. The hardest thing Im dealing with is that I went from having a true companion, someone I could say anything to or be myself without worry. To having no one, no one to tell how shitty work was or what goofy sight I seen on the road, etc.
Well this morning I woke up to seeing her in a new relationship on facebook. And that was the tipping point and why I am writing this out now. I know I should block her from all social media but god damn its hard. I have never been at a lower point in my life. I have great friends and family around me but I have never felt more alone. Forgive me if this post is all over the place. I know its a half crazed rant but I have to get this out somewhere:-/ | Was with girl for 4 years and she called it off, now she got a new bf and I am at a low place in life |
t3_33mc3y | relationship_advice | Quick question about the 'legitimacy' of a civil wedding ceremony... | Long story short, due to circumstances out of everyone's control, it is looking as if my SO and I might be getting married sometime this summer.
Yes, we both want this. No, there is no child involved. We're 24 and 27 so it's not like we're children. Both of us have steady jobs and I own a house so financially we're fine and dandy.
We've been together two years, we were planning on getting married anyways, just...not so quickly. We're fine, we're happy, everything is good. I'm not asking about that.
My question is this:
Since this wedding would have to take place quickly and neither of us have the time (nor money and inclination) to try to throw a huge wedding together, my thought is just to get married at the courthouse and then later on down the road we could have our ceremony and reception.
I'm fine with it except for one thing. I was raised in a church and I'm having these weird hangups that feel like a guilty conscience telling me that we wouldn't really be married until we had a 'church' wedding. Truth be told, I never really wanted a big wedding, any ceremony we have will be for my SO's sake. But...I can't help but feeling like my marriage wouldn't be...all there.
I know these feelings are absurd and to be honest, part of the reason I'm feeling this way is because I know my parents are going to be *livid* when they find out that I went off and got married. But I'm past that, I moved out and I pay my own way now so I shouldn't be worried about their anger. | What can I do to feel better about a wedding that I DO want and that my brain feels would be fine but my soul says is wrong? |
t3_31i7nd | tifu | TIFU by using Tiger Balm then choking the chicken | Was reading [this post](
So I was being a typical high school dumbass a few days ago, and me and my friends were hanging out by old train tracks at like 2 in the morning, had a small fire going, there may or may not have been some marijuana, m'kay? SHOUT OUT TO MR. MACKEY IGNORE IF YOU DON'T GET IT<-- , just hanging out. Some light from the fire, but not much. We were joking about how bad of a dancer my friend was and how he embarrassed himself in front of his crush last week, and so he challenged us to a dance contest. Long story short, i slipped on loose rocks and pulled my groin muscle. I am a guy. Not flexible, did involuntary splits. It fucking hurt.
So i was recommended Tiger Balm to help with the pain, and lemme tell you, that shit is legit. [This] is why it burns. So, i used it, and my leg starts to burn, and then it feels so much better. I realize that i got some on the back of my hand. I just rub it in and go on my way. Apparently i didn't rub it in well enough, because about five minutes later when i started to *rub it*, jerk it, beat my meat, manhandle my man handle (made that one up myself), choke the chicken, you get it, my dick starts burning. Like burning and hurting like it just got hit with a hammer and then someone lit a fire inside of it. I tried soaking it in ice water and it didn't do anything. Also, Tiger Balm works by increasing blood flow to the application site, so i had a raging fire boner for like an hour. | Pulled a muscle, accidentally used deep heat balm on my dick and gave myself an hour long painful boner. |
t3_1dhq1m | relationships | I (25m) need help with this LDR relationship with a (21F). | So, after 2 weeks of being in a relationship with her, she had to unexpectedly fly back home halfway across the country. In the beginning, she said she would be back by the middle of this summer so we decided to keep at it, because what's 3-4 months right?
Well, then other things came up. The anxiety and mood issues she's had became amplified due to her really strained relationship with a family member she's moved back with, so it's been causing lack of communication lately, where texting each other constantly everyday whittled down to barely any (in fact we haven't spoken in a few days now). With that lack of attention, it's caused quite a bit of stress and anxiety on my part. And now, the summer return isn't even 100%, with her mentioning a large possibility of returning NEXT spring.
So it's been almost two months now in LD, and these problems have been building up the past few weeks, and I don't really know what to do. It just seems like she has bigger fish to fry in that she's trying to work out her problems with her therapist as well as trying to separate from the problematic home situation. I just feel like I might be too selfish for trying to demand more communication from her at this stage because I do care about her a lot. | 2 week relationship before she had to move back. Lack of communication stressing me. Am I just stupid for even trying to keep this LDR going? |
t3_g1gvy | relationship_advice | [M 26] How do I approach someone on facebook? | I'll start off by stating that I have had social anxiety that has kept me from ever asking anyone on a date, And have always been nervous around women.
I have been working for the same company for the last 7 years, I started as a parts driver. During my time as a driver I meet a woman who worked for her father at a business I made deliveries and pick ups from. I noticed her but I never had the courage to ask her out. Over the years I developed a nice friendship and casual conversation.
Then over the last summer she started asking more questions getting more personal. I was happy to get the extra attention but not sure how to turn it into asking her out. It was a bit awkward with her brother and father helping with the loading and unloading(not that I would of known what to do if we were alone). Then in the fall I got a promotion at work and was removed from the driving duties to a desk job.
Since then I have heard from two different drivers that she has asked about me. And that she was frustrated when she was informed I wasn't going to be driving anymore, which bothered me since I had been deprived of my semi regular contact with her. While hearing this bolstered my confidence, my new job led to new stress. This stress lead me to taking unprescribed medication and another set of problems that I am finally clearing up.
A few of weeks ago I looked her up on facebook, and sent a friends request. After awhile I figured I wouldn't see her again, but then was accepted as her friend. With a trumpet of hope sounding in my head, I have no idea how I should proceed from here without looking like a psycho. | I meet a girl through work, job position changes don't get to see her. Find her on facebook. How do I not look like a creep when I try to make contact. |
t3_4ep41r | relationships | I [24 M] have a problem with a seriously passive-aggressive friend [24 F] of 2 years and it's damaging our friendship. | Does anybody have the same issue dealing with a friend who suddenly tries to push your buttons out of nowhere?
For example, I'm out of town to meet my family and she invited me to a movie night with some friends. I politely declined, stating why I physically cannot be there. She replied "I guess you just don't care about your friend anymore, but it's ok".
After thinking about it, she always tries to make me angry just out of a normal conversation. I think I finally realize that she gets the pleasure from making other people feel like crap and upset about themselves, guilting them into thinking that they did something wrong regardless of the situation.
The negative energy really brought me down and made me frustrated. I did bring this up to her many times but she always tries to instigate crap out of nowhere and push my buttons from
nothing.
I feel like I'm afraid to cut her from my life since she seems like a perfect friend in every way except this vile personality. Is it time to call this unhealthy friendship off? | Close friend frequently exhibiting a passive-aggressive/guilting behavior out of thin air. Thinking about calling off this friendship. |
t3_3mmcee | relationships | Me 26M still having hard time moving on after relationship end February... | I've found myself currently thinking about my ex a lot lately when I thought I was finally moving on.We broke up in February, 2015 It probably doesn't help that I work alone most nights after attending college classes in the morning. I've been trying to move on, meet new people, online dating etc etc...
The problem is I'm just so tired after waking up at 7am going to school, working and then doing homework that I feel like I don't have any social time let alone time to cultivate a relationship. I spend most nights at home playing computer and I recently just committed the ultimate sin. I just finished Facebook stalking her and saw that she has a new boyfriend.
I realize she's doing what I should be doing, moving on. It's just hard when so much in my life is depressing right now. My license was just recently revoked because of medical reasons and I don't live in a town with good public transportation. I'm back living with my parents. And most of my friends no longer live in the state. I've met new ones but we're still in that beginning phase.
I guess I'm just venting right now and God does it feel good but I'm at a loss. I feel like life is passing me by and I don't know what to do. | I'm back to feeling sorry for myself and depressed about my ex girlfriend. Life is a real low for me at the moment and I'm not sure how to get out of it. |
t3_13kfm0 | offmychest | My girlfriend really pisses me off sometimes. | I've been dating this girl for a little over 2 years now, and we're relatively young, but it's a pretty stable relationship, and normally I'm happy with it. She cheated on me a couple weeks ago, and ruined the best friendship I've ever had. I'm working on forgiving her and being able to trust her again (Also, by cheated I mean she let him kiss her). Just last night, she was having a movienight with her friends, that was perfectly fine with me. They were gonna stay up late and watch movies. I didn't care, I wanted her to have some fun with her friends, she hasn't been around them in awhile. I went to bed around midnight, and she was acting kind of funny right before I said I was going to bed, then two hours later (about 2am) she posts to facebook asking people to snapchat her (I told her not to get Snapchat, that I don't trust her sending pictures back and forth with people right now that I can't check up on or see to make sure they aren't anything bad.) She's asleep right now still, and I'm driving myself slowly insane thinking what she could have sent, why she told me she didn't have it, etc.
I hate that she keeps lieing to me, and I really really want to take her phone and throw it against the wall 90% of the time. We didn't start having these problems until she got texting and a smartphone. I keep thinking if I eliminate the problem it'll solve somethings (or at least help) but I know it'd only serve to hurt our relationship in the end. | My girlfriend cheated, has the means to do it again, lied to me about it, I'm angry and probably overreacting a bit, and I don't know how to handle myself. |
t3_1396xs | AskReddit | I need help lossing weight for Wrestling | I currently weigh 183lbs and my BMI is 25.5. My plan is to drop to 165lbs within 2-3 weeks. I only have so little time to do so because I have to weigh the right amount for my weight class.
current diet
I've been eating: -brown rice -chobani -chicken -fish -veggies -fruit -lots of water
I weighed in at 190lbs about a week ago and dropped 10lbs within a week's time. I run at least 3 miles a day and also wrestle on top of that. I fluctuate weight a lot.
So it comes to the question:
What and How can I speed up the process of lossing weight? I NEED to loose the weight fast. What should I eat, Do, and stay away from? | I need to loose 18 lbs within the time span of 2-3 weeks. What and How could I do it. Please help me out! |
t3_3euj3a | relationships | Me [25F] just moved for my husbands [25M] career and I'm lonely. How do I get out of this funk? | My husband and I have been together for 7 years. Recently, he had an opportunity to move for his career and I agreed we should go. He supported all my dreams so far, and to be honest I was starting to feel like the city we lived in was holding us back. I thought I would get to the new city and have a new, exciting life and I would make new friends.
We haven't been here (in the new city) for long but I'm having a really tough time adjusting. I miss my friends, and I feel alone most of the time. I mean I spend a good amount of time at work and with my husband, but outside of that I just feel this loneliness that that time doesn't really fill. I miss my girl friends. Whenever husband wasn't in the mood to hang out, I could always call them up and hang out. Now if I text them, I hear back maybe after a few hours, and it's rarely in response to what I said. I thought of these girls as my sisters. I can't decide if I feel lonely like this because I feel like they abandoned me or if it's just because I haven't found a social circle here yet.
I guess I kind of needed to vent and kind of wanted advice. I do go out and meet people, and I know I won't meet a best friend instantaneously, but I'm not sure anyone I've met and followed up with are people I could be friends with. For example, the only girls I've met so far are this girl who lives a county over and a girl I work with who is very opinionated on things I don't agree with, but nothing I would necessarily argue over.
My husband is doing everything he can to help me get out of this funk, but it's tough. I don't want to keep crying and being upset, I guess I'm just not adjusting to the move well.
I am seeing a therapist and currently on medication. Please give me suggestions to help with this besides that.
Thanks in advance. | My husband and I moved to a new city, having trouble making new friends and missing old ones. How can I start adjusting to the move and making friends? |
t3_2rh6kk | relationships | Can I [20M] get a bit of advice when it comes to at-home movie dates? | So I recently broke up with a longtime SO and this is my first time to really date around. I met a girl at a party that seemed interested, and ended up making plans to watch a movie (that we talked about at the party) at her place.
---
Things seemed to go well, we smoked a little weed and she made us some drinks, we talked a little bit and then went to watch the movie in her room (she had roommates). I didn't really know what to do since it was my first time to do something like that. I tried to make myself "open" and to read her as well as I could, but I never found a natural time to make a move. About 45 min (after us both getting up for this or that) she told me she had to go meet a friend. I was disappointed and left but didn't let it bug me.
--
Sooo, I need a bit of advice for how to make these things go more smoothly. When is it acceptable/good to make a move? Obviously you have to read the person, but I just don't really know the signs or the "rules" of these types of dates.
---
Thanks :)
P.S. I get in this situation she just realized she wasn't attracted to me so it didn't work, but I would still like advice anyways! | I'm new to dating, had a movie date go poorly, I need advice to make it better for next time! |
t3_2727fb | relationships | gf [23] of 4 years got herpes after we broke up. We still love each other, but I don't know what to do now. | I'm 23 too btw. So after I graduated college I was having a hard time finding a job. I finally found one, but it was in another state. So I moved and she did not come because she is still in school. Things had been rocky because I don't think either of us knew what we really wanted. So eventually we broke up on good terms because we figured we'd make better friends than we did bf/gf. And we've always gotten along great and been best friends.
Anyway, so a few months go by and then she tells me she has a new boyfriend. I was really sad about this because she had already moved on and I hadn't. I live alone in this new state and have no friends yet. I just can't tell if I wanted her back because I'm lonely or because she really is the one I'm meant to be with.
So I eventually get over the new boyfriend, but I still always look back on our relationship and really want it back. Anyway they break up. I am secretly happy about that. But then she tells me that this other guy got herpes and he didn't find out till he broke out and by that time had already given it to my ex. So now she has herpes.
Does anyone else have any similar situations? Or live with someone with herpes. Because I can't decide if this is a deal breaker or not. We are great together but sexually, I don't know how this is supposed to work.... or if it even has potential to work because that shit is for life. | ex-girlfriend and I still love each other. We broke up for a bit and now she has herpes. what do. |
t3_4op03u | relationships | Me [24M] trying to date[20F] she kissed me, but it seems she isn't into me that much. | I met this girl we met had a drink and immediately bonded I could see it in her eyes that she was into me as well. We then didn't speak for a few weeks because I was away and stuff, then we met again after so long and SHE kissed me, then we had another date and it was a bit colder I felt, like if she wasn't laughing as much as last time and seemed more serious she was tired tho she said, then I kissed her and she seemed happy.
After that she had her exams so I didn't want to disturb her too much so I just said a "how are you?" and a "how is the studying going?" like a week apart and she answers but doesn't ask questions back to me.
Now it's been 8 days since I last texted her and she finished her exams Friday.
If she doesn't text me it means she isn't interested? I should text her, but I really don't want to be bothering to her like texting all the time, I was thinking about texting her tomorrow to ask her out again, but I'm having a bad feeling about this...
Anyways I really like this girl and thought that a relation could have happened between us, now I don't know... I don't understand this behavior, usually girls text me from time to time if they like me. I don't know what to think of this girl, she first likes me then even kisses me, then third time a bit colder then not much sign of life she was studying all day she said, I mean I know that it can happen that a girl loses interested but I don't think that a girl likes you on Thursday and on Saturday not anymore right?... | I like this girl, had a few dates, we kissed. but she never texts me, last times she was a bit cold but also she was studying dunno what to think. |
t3_2g5tdi | Advice | Survivor's Guilt | Hey everyone, I'm in high school and have a question. I have a form of "survivor's guilt". I have previously never been drunk, or done drugs, or anything of the sort. I've been pretty straight edge my entire high school career, A student, varsity athletics, jrtoc, eagle scout etc. A few weeks ago, a couple of my friends talked about sleeping over at one of their houses while their parents were out for the weeekend and getting a little "messed up". I thought to myself "hey, why not? It's senior year, cut a little loose."
I learned 2 things that night: Don't text girls drunk and that I have an incredibly high tolerance. I had 12 shots of jack daniels, was primed, and no whiskey dick.
However, the kid who's house we used got caught literarlly the next day, and another kid got busted today by his parents. When I got home from practice, I was expecting to be ripped a new asshole, but my parents have no idea. I have survivor's guilt among my friends. They're grounded, and I drank their jack and crashed at their house. I know this isn't much, but I've been a pretty uptight person always and I feel a terrible guilt for not being busted. Sorry for text wall and rant but I figured some anonymous help would be good. | Straight-edged person, got hammered, friends got busted but I didnt. Do I keep quiet or go down with my friends by admitting to my parents I got hammered but not mention names? |
t3_n6jqs | AskReddit | What is something you wish your clients/customers/general population knew about your job? I'll start... | I work in retail and my store, like many others, is judged on our conversion rate. For those who do not know, conversion is the number of transactions vs. the number of people who walk in. It is expressed as a percentage that is reported to our corporate office and for which we are held accountable. Our store, and again MANY others, has a small white box attached to the ceiling right behind the door. Each time someone or something passes under the box (through the door), it ticks and counts it as a person. This thing is indiscriminate in who/what it counts; kids, dogs, strollers, the delivery man all count. One of the most frustrating things is when someone stands under the counter as it continues to tick, or if they keep walking back and forth from one side of the store to the other. There are several other irritating scenarios I could describe and while I do not expect most people to know or care, it is something that we are responsible for and is a main reason for the sales people trying so hard to sell you something, ANYTHING. It's because our bosses know you walked in and they expect us to convert you from a looker to a buyer. So please, be considerate to that fact and try to make as few trips as possible through the door. | You are counted every time you pass through/near the door of most retail stores. I am responsible for getting a certain number of those counted people to buy something. Please don't fuck around under the counter. |
t3_4pdihm | relationships | My girlfriend [23F] and I [24M] have had a huge fight due to a lamp. | I'll keep this short and sweet. I visit my girlfriend at her flat frequently and when we go to bed, she has too many pillows (some are decorative) so some have to get tossed on the floor. Annoying in itself but I digress. The problem is that she has a lamp on her bedside cabinet and its power cable barely reaches the table so it's always balanced near the edge.
When I lift my head to remove a pillow, every single time it falls and smacks me in the face. I know I should get wary of it but I'm usually too tired to remember about it. The lamp is heavy, it's a cylindrical glass lamp and has actually given me a minor cut before. I ask her to move the lamp, she says it's my fault for being clumsy, which is probably half true. I asked her to swap sides, she says no. I ask her not to have the pillows, she says no.
Last night, the same thing happened, pulled the pillow and the lamp smacks me straight in the nose, she starts laughing so I pretended to be unconscious.. I kept up the act for a good 2-3 minutes until she started to panic. When I admitted to it, she flipped out saying that I was being cruel.
I don't see it that way, I see it as inevitably what will happen if she doesn't move the damn lamp. It's precariously left half on and half off her table. Who is in the right here? Should I apologise? | girlfriends lamp keeps smacking me in the face. Played dead, prefer to be dead at this moment in time. She flipped out and thinks I'm cruel. |
t3_yyydb | AskReddit | Reddit, I've never asked for your help, until today. I am in need of advice from a third party. I don't know what to do. | Hey Reddit,
So ever since November 11, 2010, I have been dating the girl of my dreams. She is amazing Reddit. She likes all the same things as I do, she enjoys the same movies, books, music, and food as I do. I know you may think, "Well this just sounds like what a girlfriend is supposed to be." but Reddit, it's more, I know it is. We started dating halfway through Senior year of high school and even got through a year of being 4 hours away. (Different Universities.) Now the problem that has presented itself just recently is that her mother has decided to speak out against me, saying I'm not right for her daughter and that I won't ever be good enough for her. Reddit, I would give anything for this girl, I would give my very life for her. I have given her everything she has wanted of me, no questions asked. She tells me that, the main problem is that the emotional stress of being so far away during school is catching up to her, and that she wants to have some time to be able to do things on her own and not be so dependent on everyone. i.e her parents and I. But when she says, "time" she means, a whole semester of no communication whatsoever, no texting, calling, or visits. She tells me that hopefully by the end of this, that she is able to do stuff on her own and the we can still be together if we feel it' still right. But Reddit, going three months without the thing I love most in the world is going to be impossible. It's been 3 days and I have cried all the tears I have. What is it I should do? I just need some sound advice from others who have a clear view of the situation and not just friends saying, "It'll be fine dude." or "Forget her man." Are they right? Should I just move on? Or should I stick around to wait for something that has made me the happiest man on the planet for the past two years? | Girlfriends mother coerced girlfriend to go on a 3 month break. GF has agreed but hopes to resume our relationship after she comes back from the 3 months of working to do things for herself and not be so dependent. |
t3_2b0j6p | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] of 3 months, isnt texting me back, unusual for her. | So since I've last seen her, my GF has not been responding to my texts. It all started last night, we were hanging out at my place watching a movie. Usually this is followed by a bit of sexy time, but she decided to leave early. She had work in the morning (not that that had stopped her in the past). This was also the first time she came over without getting all dolled up. Which, I'm fine with. Only bringing this stuff up because now my possibly overly-paranoid mind is taking these things as bad signs. But she was very compassionate and touchy feely the whole night so idk.
But anyway, she goes home and i text her the next day at about 1 PM and she doesnt respond, but she's at work and stuff I understand that. Then I text her at about 5 PM and she doesnt respond. After this, I notice that she has posted on Instagram and made a story on Snapchat, so I know her phone isnt broken. So I text her again (last one) at 9 PM and she still hasn't responded about 2 hours later now.
This is very unlike her/us. We usually text at least a *little* bit every day. Should I be suspecting that something is up or am i being paranoid/insecure?
What should I do? | GF of 3 months hasnt been replying to my texts all day. Very unlike her. Especially because I know her phone works, as she has posted to Instagram and snapchat today. What should I do? |
t3_2bu3mo | relationships | Me [34F] with my friend [32M], he and his gf are visiting, awkwardness around stay duration, advice pls! | A good friend of mine is visiting with his gf of two months. Because he never specified how long they wanted to stay, me and my bf agreed to five days. Here's the FB message I sent two days before he arrived:
"Can't wait to see you! We can put you up for 5 days."
Him: "Great! See you soon!"
My bf moved his clothes and essentials into my room (we have separate bedrooms, love dat personal space), we set them up with fresh sheets and towels, told them to help themselves to food and toiletries. You know, good hosting.
It was a great visit, but day 6 rolls around and they show no signs of leaving. I text him saying, "If you guys haven't found a room yet, I'd be able to get you a room for a great rate (I work at a hotel)."
He messages back that another one of our mutual friends could put him up, no worries. Cool. But when they get home, his GF looks like she ate a lemon, won't acknowledge my greeting, and refuses to look at me.
He takes me aside, tells me that she thought they could stay until Mon., and is upset with me. I tell him that since we confirmed how long they could stay, he could just show her the FB message I sent to prove it.
He looked uncomfortable, was like, "Nah." So, I guess he's not willing to clear it up with her, and I get stuck dealing with her bad attitude. I'm trying not to care, but it just seems so rude. I'm not sure whether I should shrug it off and not rock the boat for my buddy, or if I should try to address it with her/him. | Buddy's GF thought they could stay with us longer than he and I agreed upon, is now being very rude to me. |
t3_496iz0 | relationships | Today I [20 M] realised that all I do is study for college, play video games, watch anime and browse reddit. I feel really lonely. | I don't have any relationships outside of my family.
When I was 16 my girlfriend cheated on me with my friend, who happened to be really popular. She broke up with me and my "friend" told all of my other friends not to talk to me and started spreading nasty rumours about me. Slowly, I was left all by myself.
I grew to hate the ones I had called my friends. I grew resentful and hated relationships in general. I felt weak, like there was nothing I could do. What was I, some meek, shy kid supposed to do against the star athlete who everyone adored?
The next two years of high school were pretty painful. I would take long walks outside during lunch time just so I wouldn't have to sit by myself in the cafeteria while everyone else sat with others. As a result I'm really antisocial. I grew really depressed and didn't even attend college after I graduated. I just worked part time at McDonald's while wasting away my life.
I applied to college this year though, and am taking some academic upgrading to have better marks to apply with. I go to school four days a week currently.
I don't really talk to anyone. I don't think I can handle being left all alone again so I've been isolating myself. I don't know if I can trust my classmates to not end up hurting me like what happened in my previous school. I just think back to how everyone abandoned me and how hurt I was.
So now, I'm just studying for college, playing video games and watching anime. I quit my job so I can focus more on getting good marks.
I feel like a fucking loser. I hate being like this. I wish I could just be a regular person and talk to people. I've forgotten how to talk with people, how to strike up a conversation.
I just want to feel normal. | due to certain events, I've grown to be really antisocial. I'm feeling lonely and want friends but am too scared of being hurt again. |
t3_3ezwhc | relationships | How long should I [19M] wait to ask this girl [19F] to hang out again? | Last night I met up with this girl, it was awkward at first but we eventually started having a good conversation which led to making out and foreplay. I had a great time and I really like her, and I want to hang out with her again, and she said to let her know whenever I wanted to do it again. But how long should I wait to ask?
I think she's leaving town for school soon so this makes my situation more complicated. I don't want to come off as desperate or obsessed, but I don't have a lot of time to wait if she's leaving soon. What do you think? | Girl is leaving town soon, but I want to hang out with her more before she does. How long should I wait to ask to hang out again in this situation? |
t3_swec1 | AskReddit | What's your biggest "What the hell am I doing with my life?" moment? (let's keep it SFW) | I've been dating this girl for quite some time - known her for a while before that. We both lived in Southern California, and she moved to Salt Lake City, UT for college. We did long distance for a few months, where I picked up a horrible construction job to make better/quick money so I can move there as well. A week before my move-date, she dumps me. Sick of where I'm currently living, I still move anyways. A few states outside of my hometown, I don't know anyone besides my bitch of an ex. Although I really hated where I lived in California, what the hell am I doing with my life? Oh, i'm 18. | I MOVED A FEW STATES AWAY TO THE SAME CITY MY EX LIVES IN, I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHY |
t3_2mxwjl | relationships | How do I get back out there? | I [19 M] was in a relationship with my girlfriend [19 F] for close to two years. Our bond we had together incredible. I loved the closeness that we shared. It was probably how close we were to each other which eventually lead to our break up but the connection i had with her is something i want to strive for in a relationship.
Since my previous relationship I have tried to pursue other woman but I find myself too quickly disinterested with small talk. I have only found one girl who in genuinely interesting to talk to and she is 17 so she is completely out of the question.
I guess my question is How do I get back out there? Is the small talk like "what are you up to" or asking what I had for dinner just a part of getting to know someone?
I mean seriously who cares what I had for dinner.
I'm not even kidding, a girl asked me what I had for dinner.
Don't get me wrong, I love getting to know people. I love learning how other people think and any weird things that they might do. But I find that people often don't like to speak of things that others might find "weird". Which makes the person seem to bland to me. | Had an amazing connection with my previous girlfriend. Now I want to know how to get back out there when I quickly become disinterested in small talk associated with getting to know someone. |
t3_wvl90 | AskReddit | How much porn is too much for a 12yr old boy? Fairly new (lesbian) parents needing advise. | Advice. shit.
I have a 12yr old foster son who has been living with us for 2 years now. He is kind of socially awkward and has a few anger issues which has left him with no close friends inside or outside of school. We don't know a lot about his past, really only what he tells us.
So, during a routine check of his ipod I have found a 'secret folder' containing what I consider to be highly inappropriate content. About half of his pics are normal boobs and butts with a little bit of beaver here and there, and he knows I have no problem with that stuff.
He also has a lot of links to sites that show very graphic sex scenes, close up shots and some bondage type stuff. This stuff I am not very happy about but I am aware that in the age of internet porn it is probably pretty normal for a 12yr old to be looking for these types of things.
However I am quite concerned with the relatively large amount of hentia pics, beastiality (some hentai some real) and cartoon incest/rape pics. I have talked to him before about what is acceptable for him to be looking at and that is why he tried to hide it better this time.
To be clear I have no problem with him having a secret folder and told him I would not look in it again but just wanted the password this one time to make sure he knows his boundaries.
My partner and I have had a couple of sex talks with him and explained some stuff about masturbation, babies, periods and the like, but we obviously need to be a bit more thorough about what is normal in relationships and sex.
We have always had restrictions on his ipod but this "secret folder app' has allowed him to bypass it all google whatever he wants.
We will be turning off his internet access and buying him some playboy (bikini) mags asap, but we are not sure if we should be worried or not. | Should (is it normal for) a 12yr old be looking at hentai and beastiality? (his internet was restricted but he 'hacked' it to get around the locks) |
t3_1wtkjz | relationships | My GF told me (M) that I couldn't attend a party with her because it's not a couples thing. What..? | I want to keep this somewhat anonymous, so I'll say that we are both mature, young students, i.e. between 16 and 22; we have been together for over a year now.
The other day, we both talked about "Super Bowl Sunday." She told me she was likely going to stay at home and watch the game, no parties or anything. Later that same day, I learned that a mutual friend of ours invited her to a game-day party; she didn't tell me this until I found out and asked her about it. (I actually found out by seeing a text sent to her by our mutual friend asking if I was going...) At first, I was naive and cool. But then, out of curiosity - and also because I had no plans - I asked if I could go to the super bowl party with her. She said no, because, apparently, "it's not a couples thing."
That answer would have been fine, except...every time these mutual friends get together, another couple (whom I know) attends. Yet, somehow, they don't fit the "it's not a couples thing" card. My GF and I have talked about this kind of crap before; she knows it bothers me. | Asked GF if I could go to a Super Bowl party with her and mutual friends. She said no, "it's not a couples thing." Never mind the fact that another couple will be attending. WTF. |
t3_4cg4b5 | relationships | My [21 M] friend [20 F] recently confessed her love for me while drunk, when she already has a boyfriend [20 M] | So I went to a birthday party with some friends and met alot of old school buddies from 3rd-10th grade. We all had a good time, then there were only 4 people left, her [20F] and me [21M] being amongst them.
She got really imtimate with me, pulled us away from the other two, and told me that she had lost some interest in her current boyfriend [20M] (which she have been with for almost 5 years) because she had realized she was in love with me. She then proceeded to try to kiss me while I told her not to. This was hard because I was pretty drunk too, and actually find her really attractive.
We've known each other for at least 11 years, and there have never been anything romantic between us, as we've both only looked at one another as a good friend. But the more I think about it the more I want it to be us. I talked to her yesterday and she said she didn't remember. That may be for the best because her current boyfriend and me have become good friends.
I have little to no idea how to handle this situation as she doesn't want to know what happened, but not telling her makes it hard for me to carry on. I know it might've been the alcohol talking, but at the same time, it could've been her subconcious. Telling her has a high chance to ruin her current relationship.
What can/should I do in my current situation? | Girl drunkenly confesses love for me, whilst having a boyfriend. I had subcouncious feelings for her. She forgets, I'm stuck witch remembering. |
t3_2qf8za | relationships | Should I [24M] pay for my single-mother ex-fiancee's [23F] (with [2F], not mine) costly (~$3k) surgery? | Hey. I'm a generally a weird dude so I want to collect advice from the internet at large.
I'll provide a touch of backstory for the curious. My ex and I were in a relationship for two years. As I approached graduating college (took a break to work) we started firming up plans to live together afterward, which included making effort toward moving her away from her baby-daddy, and gaining full custody. Along with buying a house and all that. It was a lot. That wound up being what drove us apart about a year ago, on Thanksgiving night. We've been No Contact since.
In the interim, I've been working a ton since graduating. I have plenty of savings. I've been 'angrily single'. One brief hookup, no one else has interested me. I miss her immensely, but I've been good about not bothering her.
Anyway, I've kept tabs on her through mutual friends. She's got a massively painful dental issue which is going to cost a few thousand dollars to fix - one of her teeth has essentially fallen apart but it hasn't gotten infected yet. She basically has a dagger in her mouth cutting up her cheek. Her gov't health insurance won't cover it until it gets worse, is the third (fourth?) hand information I've gotten. She doesn't make a ton of money, very rarely affording to put savings aside every month. She's been very good about preserving what she put aside with her ex, but it was dwindling even as our relationship came to a close.
It wouldn't effect me tremendously. I travel, I work out, I drink. I have a minimalistic life. Should I give it to her? How? Cash? Check? | Should I pay for my up-till-now No-Contacted ex's expensive dental procedure that she can't afford? How? |
t3_2n17rb | relationships | I [17/F] have a problem with my classmate | Hello there
I'll try to be quick: a few days ago we've switched some seats in my classroom and now I'm staying alone (which is perfectly fine), but my ex-deskmate thinks that she has done something wrong, I tried to reassure her that it's not true and that I just wanted to be closer to the blackboard etc.
She's often quite sad and, well, annoying, if she feels sick she dramatizes and just stays here suffering not daring to tell the teacher and she has family issues but.. we all do, right ? We all have problems.
I'm more of a pessimistic myself and atm I'm trying to change that, and I'm trying to stay near cheerful and funny people.
I really, really, really don't want to sound selfish, I am always calm and listen to her and try to make her open, but now she wants to move with me again.
How can I make this a win/win situation ? I don't want to stay with her because of her bad vibes but I don't want to be rude, either. | How can I convince a classmate that I have nothing personal with her and that I just like to be alone sometimes, without making her feel offended ? |
t3_2piuwq | tifu | TIFU by letting my boss pay me on my phone | This happened about an hour ago when I was getting off work.
So here's a bit of a back story. I work in an office with 2 other women, 1 of them my boss. My boss is also ridiculously lazy. She'll come in between 9 and 10 sometimes later or not at all, put off work until the last minute she feels is too difficult, won't read long emails and avoids phone calls from clients. I've actually seen her run into the bathroom to avoid someone's call. Since she's bound to be fired soon, she's also nosey and paranoid. She'll walk into the middle of a conversation we're having and interrupt, asking what we're talking about. It doesn't help that she talks down to us on a daily basis like we're her children or younger sisters. Anyway, on to the fuck up.
In addition to my regular job I sell beauty products on the side. My boss makes much more money than I do and loves my products so I take advantage of that and let her purchase through me. I swiped my boss's card and handed her my phone to sign. A second later I hear her say "Oh..." as she reads a very hateful text I'd received just then from my coworker saying how annoyed she was with her today and how tense it made her. Honestly, my coworker left early today and had no idea I was making a transaction with our boss so I can't blame her terrible timing. I noticed the text pop up and tried to close it but the damage was done. I didn't react, because even though we can't stand her, we don't want her knowing that. She slowly signed her name (her normal speed for doing anything) handed me my phone and walked into her office.
I think it's safe to say I won't get any more extra money from her, and it's going to be an awkward week for us. My coworker and I have decided that because no name was given we can play the incident off as if we were discussing a mutual friend. If anyone has a suggestion on a better way to handle this, I'm open to suggestions. | My lazy (and nosey) boss read a text about her on my phone while she was paying me for beauty products. Awkwardness ensued. |
t3_vrnuv | AskReddit | My Dad faces up to 5 years in prison for stealing $45 from his mom 39 years ago | When my dad was 17 he was a wild kid. He let his mom (My Grandma) borrow $45 from him when he was 17. Time went by and his mom never paid him back so he wrote a $45 check in her name and cashed it. She called the police on him and he spent 1 1/2 years in prison when he was 17 years old. After he got out he was a convicted felon. Fast forward to around 4 months ago, Him and I were shooting guns on county land where there are no houses. Someone called the cops and we talked to the cops for a good 3 hours. After that my mom came and picked me up and he got arrested for being a felon with a weapon. He was unaware that he was a felon because when he went to prison he was only 17, a minor. Yesterday was his court date and they want to give him 4 years probation or 18 months in prison. Apparently in Florida (Where we live) it doesn't matter if you are a minor or not, if you commit a felony you are a felon for the rest of your life. I don't know what to do. He has another appearance in September to see what he has to do. I'm 15 so I don't know much about this legal stuff but there is some smart people on Reddit and was wondering if any of you could help. We don't have that much money and my mom can't work. So if he went to prison we would loose our house because he is our only source of income. His lawyer is also incompetent. | My dad could get 4 years probation or 18 months in prison because he shot a gun while he was a felon for stealing $45 back from his mom when he was 17 years old. |
t3_xx1t5 | loseit | First time poster looking for advice and support | Hey r/loseit, this is my first time posting here. Hopefully you can give me a little motivation to get my new lifestyle started. I'm 23F, 5'8", 250lbs. I've always been on the bigger side but never this heavy. I know my weight is caused by several components: having a large Italian family taught me to associate food with good memories and most social interactions, my severe depression makes just getting out of bed hard some days (yes, I'm handling that separately with a professional), and I'm great at making excuses to avoid working out.
So here's the deal. I want to lose weight and want to do it in a healthy way but can never stick to a program longer than a few months for various reasons. My goal weight is 150 lbs as it puts me in the middle of a normal BMI range.
I was hitting the gym 4x per week for about 2 hours a visit (cardio via elliptical and/or stationary bike and assorted weight training) as well as religiously counting calories for about 5 months. I didn't drink soda or eat junk food/fast food at all beforehand, so that wasn't a concern or something I could cut out. I started eating more, smaller meals throughout the day and snacked on fruit/veggies/Fiber One granola bars when hungry. Despite all this, I put on 50 pounds that was definitely not muscle. This was really depressing, so I stopped going to the gym and calorie counting. My weight has only gone up about 10 pounds since stopping in April.
I've recently moved to a new city where I'll be walking considerably more. This seemed like it would be great until I got here. The walking I do absolutely kills my ankles to the point where I have to elevate and ice them after work since they're so swollen. This makes sense given my weight and how much strain that would put on my joints. Plus, I also had an ankle injury then a knee injury a couple years ago that never healed quite right. I just feel lost at what to do since the gym didn't cut it for me and adding minor steps to my daily routine is so painful. | Needs to drop 100 lbs to be healthy but finds it hard to stick to healthy methods that end up being a disappointment. Weight has started to impact my ability to be physical, making it even harder. |
t3_4t1xnl | relationships | Family not providing any support or positivity to me (37M) and my girlfriend (39F), much to the contrary. All we get is drama. | Ever since I (37M) moved in with my girlfriend (39F) over a year ago my family have made it very difficult to maintain a normal relationship with them.
We just recently came back from a vacation overseas, in which I had the golden opportunity to visit, for the first time, the country where I was born, as well as visit my girlfriend's country and meet her family. Before, during, and especially after this trip, my mom (68F) and sister (35F) in particular have texted and Facebook messaged us in a very hateful way, demanding us to take packages for family members overseas whom we never met or have a relationship with, complained that I have been treating my parents "like second class citizens", and refusing to talk to resolve these issues.
We have both been present in their lives, attending family functions, visiting them when they are ill, etc. It feels like they are very jealous that we are having a good time. So if we say no to them or disagree to something they say, or refuse to do a favor, they either send these hateful, guilt trip messages or completely refuse to pick up the phone when I call.
They are very selfish and unreasonable. Honestly, at this point, I believe I've done more than enough to try to restore this relationship. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. | Family is being unreasonable and ignoring us if we don't do what they want. Wish they would acknowledge their behaviour and own up to it. Help. |
t3_2ab1kx | relationships | Me [31M] with my fiancée [30F] of 5 year. Came disappointed upset with myself. Expected some comfort or support and got the cold shoulder instead. | I have been out of town for a week to interview for a new position. I had been working towards this goal for the last few months and due to a careless and stupid mistake on my part I failed. I am not happy with myself about it and have been kicking myself over since it happened two days ago. Most people have told me that it's not that bad and I shouldn't be so hard on my self but I am a bit of perfectionist and I am having a hard time with this because it's still fresh. I am sure I will be fine and move on in a day or so but today I feel like an idiot and subdued today. I have just been quiet and introflective.
Fiancee knows that I am upset and kicking myself, we texted and she seemed supportive and reassuring through text. I got back to our home state today and expected her to have a similar attitude to our conversation. What I got was not that. I got the cold shoulder instead. I small hug and forced kiss. After that she basically ignored me and went out of her way to not be around me.
I understand that a bad mood is contagious but I wouldn't even say I'm in a bad mood, just bummed out.
I tried to talk with her to see if she was alright and she acted like my behaviour was some sort of personal attack on her. How me coming back from this trip early had thrown off her social calendar.
I thought coming home would be a safe haven from the questions of my colleagues and looked to her as my rock. Instead I'm feeling pretty stunned at the total lack of compassion from her. I feel as though I have may have misjudged my perception of her and the strength of our relationship. It seriously makes me question how she will react if something else goes sideways in life, something major, will I be able to count on her or should I just be my own support system and let it slide. | I screwed up and I'm pretty bummed out. SO was supportive over text and completely uncaring in person at took it as a personal affront to her. Not feeling the love when I could really use it. |
t3_2j3qbz | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] of a few months, she likes to tease me and it's starting to get annoying | To be fair, not all of her teasing annoys me. She can call me dummy or retarded or an idiot and I don't care, I'll do it right back. That's her personality, she's a very sarcastic person and loves to tease people she's close with. But there's these jokes that she'll sometimes make that are really starting to bother me. She'll joke about leaving me or her being with other guys, and its actually kinda hurtful.
For example, a few days ago I jokingly told her that she should be a stripper for Halloween, but that she's gonna be my stripper. And then she replied "I'm already someone else's stripper". She quickly said that she was joking, but it still annoyed me. And then she'll "jokingly" break up with me, like we could be teasing each other and after a few lines going back and forth, she'll pretend to break up with me. When she does this, she only says that she's kidding after I say something that makes her feel guilty. It's just gotten to the point where her joking has become kinda hurtful and very annoying.
We haven't been together for too long, and I'm thinking of just breaking it off because I'm still really young and could be having more fun just dating around instead of being in a serious relationship. But still, I do like her very much and I do hope that we can last for a while, but her comments are really turning me off. I have mentioned it to her in the past that it bothers me, and she was very sorry, but she still occasionally makes these remarks. What should I do? Should I tell her again that these jokes are bothering me, but in a more assertive way? Or should I just save myself the trouble and get out? | girlfriend makes jokes that are becoming hurtful, I've already told her how they make me feel but she still occasionally makes them. Not sure if I should assert myself some more or just leave. |
t3_2w5nu4 | relationships | My [21M] close friend [21M] want to start a relationship with another close friend [21F], what should I suggest for him? - (potentially long distance) | [Sorry if my English isn't perfect]
I have 2 close friends who both I have known for about 7 years. About 3 years ago they happened to end up in the same university in Australia, and have been good friends since then. In the past year, he got a crush on her but he didn't do anything about it. He's never had a girlfriend before and is really shy and awkward when it comes to girls. Anyway, on Valentine's Day, he manned up and sent her a big nice looking bouquet of roses (which surprised everyone) which afterwards she posts on Facebook and Instagram. They've been on 1 date ever since, and they've been texting a lot. The guy tells me that he is definitely sure that she's into him.
He wants to make it official by doing something, but he hesitates because this can potentially become a long distance relationship, which he is fine with. They were in the same university but he was one year ahead and just graduated, so she still has 1 year left, and she's leaving on the 25th. What should he do? If he wants to pop the question of "do you want to be my girlfriend" or something like that, where and how should he do it? Remember that he is kinda shy, and I did tell him to be himself.
I also am forbidden from talking to the female friend, because, in his words, "Don't ruin this". So I don't know her side of the story. | Male friend wants to start a relationship with another friend of mine, but will turn into long distance if succeeds. She's into him as well, but neither is making a move. What should he do to make it official? |
t3_2zyeie | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex [22 F] after dating 1.5yrs, is convinced I cheated on her. I didn't, but it seriously looks like it. | My girlfriend (let's call her Diana) and I broke up early December. We were initially great, then hit a rut. The main reason is that I was an asshole who was afraid to commit.
Anyway, about a month before we broke up, I recognized a girl I once talked to on OKCupid and said hello (stupid, I know). Diana was upset, and asked me to delete her from my Facebook. I didn't, because we work in the same industry and I didn't want to alienate her as a potential future connection (Also stupid, I know).
She messaged me while Diana was using my phone, and it sparked a huge fight.
Diana is convinced I cheated on her with this girl. I didn't, but here is the damning evidence:
* A women's chapstick in my car that I couldn't account for. Likely my mom's or sister's, but I don't actually know.
* A concealer stick (If that's what it's called. It's skin-colored makeup to cover blemishes) which I borrowed from my mom, because I get self-conscious about my skin when I break out.
* The worst of them: a pair of women's underwear in my drawer. I thought it was Diana's, but didn't think to bring it up until she noticed it (we weren't living together). It's not hers, which means it was my sister's. HOWEVER, I was still convinced they were Diana's (because I was stupid, the theme continues), so I didn't ask my sister about them.
Anyway, it's a lot of evidence that have legitimate reasons, but reasons that *sound* like bullshit.
This is going to tear us apart, because I can't convince her and she wants me to admit to it. I'm not going to make something up just to make her feel better.
Wait, should I lie and say I cheated to at least give her closure??
I love this girl. I want to get her back, but this is potentially going to stop us from even being platonic friends. | My ex-girlfriend is 100% convinced I cheated on her. I didn't, and I want her back. What do? |
t3_3gexnp | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months, flirty friend attending his party | Using a throwaway cause the BF uses reddit.
Anways...
My boyfriend of 6 months is wonderful etc; and has never given me a reason to not trust him. However, he has his birthday party coming up and he has invited this friend who flirts with him ~all the damn time~.
She makes me nervous. She's flirty, persuasive and pretty. I have met her in the past, and she was one of those sweet-but-manipulative people. The BF doesn't see it etc.
What troubles me most about her is that she has been the 'other woman' in another relationship. She was the woman whom a mutual friend cheated on his girlfriend with (for a good four months!).
I trust ~my BF~ but I don't trust ~her~. She makes me anxious and insecure and makes me feel not-good-enough and lame and boring and ugly af. I know logically that the BF has picked to be with me for reasons and he's not with her, therefore I don't have anything to worry about, but she makes me feel awful. Help? What do for party? | Girl who was mutual friend's 'other woman' and is BF's friend and likes him and flirts a lot is coming to his birthday party. What do? |
t3_lfwku | AskReddit | What is your grudge holding or mortal enemy story? | This is more of a small world story than a fucked up mortal enemy story, but i hope some of them come along too. so i'll start, when i was really, really young (like grade one i think or even before) i went to this after school care as some kids with working parents do. i can't fully remember it so lots of what i'm repeating is what my mother has told me but essentially this kid bit my arm really hard, so hard in fact that it tore the skin enough that i needed stitches. needless to say, i hated that kid after that, but he actually moved away and moved schools and everything pretty shortly after. I had completely forgotten about him until years later i'm starting high school this weedy little guy who was about half the size of every other guy in the year (all boys school) walks into my classroom and i instantly decide that i don't like him (judging by his face i guess??). months pass and i keep feeling like i recognize him from somewhere and the more i get to know him the more i wanted to punch him repeatedly in the face, i got to know him in the sense that he always had something to say no matter what subject or how little he knew about it. but anyway, later that year after our class photo my mum was looking at it and noticed this kid's face/name and told me the story of what happened at the start of my schooling career and how odd she thought it was that we ended up at the same high school just by coincidence. so after that i resolved to hate this person with every atom of my being, i still give him the stink eye if i see him. | Kid bit me so hard in preschool i needed stitches, ended up at the same high school by coincidence and i still hate his guts after finishing school. |
t3_1mx6tx | relationship_advice | Another spat with my[M25] girlfriend[23/f] | Had another row with the girlfriend today. Day was fine, good, dandy, however you want to put it. I had taken her out to eat and then we were going to see a movie, but she tells me she's too tired to go now (she was going to pay for the movie while I got dinner). I say that's fine we'll go home, but she had to get some things from the store first.
Well we go to the craft store and she gets the things she needs, but then starts looking at Halloween decorations. We just moved in together and she wanted to decorate for Halloween. We already have a few autumn decorations up.
She starts picking up things left and right, she ends up with 5 things in the basket and asks if she should get a sixth. I told her she already had a ton, but it was her money, so if it was important enough to her, go ahead and get it.
Well she kinda took a step back and asked why I wasn't paying for any of it. We got in a small argument with my point being that I didn't want to pay for any decorations because I didn't care if we had any up and her argument was she wanted it to look nice for Halloween.
So, she puts the stuff back and tells me in passive-aggressive voice that it's fine and I obviously don't care how the house looks for the holidays and proceeds to give me the silent treatment.
As we get home, she grabs the decorations she had previously put up and put them in the garage. When I asked why she said that I obviously didn't care, so why should she?
So. My question is: was she trying to spend my money or was I being unreasonable? | Girlfriend wanted to buy some decorations jointly, I didn't. We got in an argument about who pays for them and she got upset and now we have no decorations and she's not speaking to me. |
t3_14qg1u | relationships | I caught my boyfriend sending a home made porn video he made with his ex about 8 years ago to her. | I [29 F] just went into the bedroom and sat next to my [26 M] boyfriend of one year who was doing something on his computer. I looked at the screen and saw an image of him about to have sex with one of his exes. Don't know if relevant, but he was naked on the bed and his ex was crawling to go on top of him. So I got to see her huge big ass (he loves big asses).
He closed the window and I asked him WTF was that. He told me it was a home porn video he made with his ex. This ex is not his last ex but one he had probably 8 years ago. Still he didn't tell me exactly which one. He explained that she asked him for the video because he should not be the only one who has it since they are both in the video so he was sending it to her.
I consider myself somewhat open minded. I know he keeps porn and videos from his exes and I'm fine with that. He watches porn and that is ok too. We have been to sex clubs together and even had a threesome once. But him sending a porn video to his ex makes me feel upset.
I don't have a specific question, I guess I just want to know what other people think of this and how they would handle it. Thanks!!! | My boyfriend's ex asked him for a porn home video they made about eight years ago when they were together. I just caught him sending it to her. I saw her big naked ass. WTF? |
t3_25dmm9 | relationships | Me [20M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 4 months , She is starting to come across as a drama queen. | I've now been dating this girl who for the past 4 months of dating and 6 months of knowing one another has been great however recently whenever we go out she will get upset over trivial things.
Such as a friend of mine cracking a joke at her or one of her friends doing something meaningless to her such as ditching her on a night out due to a serious illness (turned out to be life threatening).
The other night was my birthday do and she ended up crying because she was visibly grumpy at something and when I asked her what was up she cried stated she had 'ruined my birthday', I felt upset but didnt chase her and let her mellow out on her own.
What I dont understand is that afterwards she says to me to let her know if she ever starts getting erratic and over emotional/dramatic so that she can go somewhere and calm down and then come back with a straight head on. But I'm nto sure if this is the correct way to deal with it, a friend of mine said this to her once when she was upset at me for a trivial reason (I didn't witness some guy slap her ass whilst she was at the bar and she simply wanted me there not to fight him but for her to hug me and such to let him know to back off.) Anyway he told her she was being dramatic and to 'be quiet because you're on your way to an oscar' and she ended up storming off, ''breaking up with me'' and now doesnt even acknowledge that the guy who said it exists. | So my question is... Do I tell her when she is being a drama queen or would that simply make things worse? |
t3_1pypmg | AskReddit | Married people of Reddit: Do you feel like you're not good enough for your spouse, like they got "the good end of the deal"? | Just a quick story of why I ask, I'm currently seeing this girl, and let me tell you she is gorgeous.
One time we talked about "what type of person do you see yourself being with?". This girl is obsessed with hockey. She always imagined herself marrying some hockey player, good looking, good body, etc, etc.
That being said I'm a fairly skinny guy, decent looking at best, doesn't play hockey, and I can't help but think she see's these average hockey player dudes everyday and thinks "Damn, I wanted that..."
And when I describe her she's like the perfect girl I want to marry one day. So I can't help but think she got screwed in this haha...
Can anyone relate...? | Seeing a girl who I would consider perfect for me, but when she describes what her "dream-guy" is, it's not me at all. I feel bad... |
t3_3zmuiv | relationships | Me [27 M] with my Fiancee [26 F] of a year moved in together for the first time 2 months ago, she's mad that I masturbate. | She knows that in my past, I've used baby oil to masturbate and I was honest with her about it when she found it at my old apartment. While she was at work the other night, I pulled out a travel size baby oil and it was a pretty standard session. She gets home late and I was already asleep, but I accidentally left the oil bottle in our bathroom and she saw it. Long story short, she thinks our sex life is in shambles and doesn't understand why I would need to do that when we can have sex anytime. I explained to her that it's not a sexual substitute in any way, it's just something that guys do sometimes and it has nothing to do with her or our relationship, but she's letting it tear her apart and she's really upset that I would ever do that. So, I'm blown away, feeling guilty over my personal business, and not sure where to go from here, anyone else been in a similar predicament? Any thoughts or ideas on the subject? | I got caught jerking off by fiancee, she took it personally that we have a bad sex life even though we have great sex regularly. Opinions? |
t3_2qk31q | relationships | Me [32M] with my wife [30F] of 9 years, has difficulty with jealousy surrounding my achievements | My wife and I share many common interests, but she is extremely competitive in comparing our results in all of our endeavors. Recently I've decided I was going to get into fitness/nutrition. I've never been fat really, but I know I can do better for myself, and could stand to lose a couple of pounds.
I start on a new program. It's pretty extreme, and right out of the gate I have amazing results. I receive a lot of praise for my efforts and results. I adopt a no exceptions 100% on track plan for food and exercise. This matters because she has been wanting to get better at all of this business too, but has been struggling. I have been helping her with all of this(meal plans etc.), but she is frustrated because really she isn't mentally in a good place to make big changes, and do everything I'm doing. She feels like everything she is doing isn't good enough and all her efforts aren't worth anything because she isn't doing everything perfectly. I am not struggling at all with these changes which is also part of her issue.
This is just an example of a situation where she feels like she'll 'never measure up to me in any way'. I understand where her frustration is coming from, but I don't know what to do to help her, or what to say when she points out another example of 'I'm perfect and she is worthless'.
How do I constructively handle this? It seems like anything I say trying to convince her about how the best plan is the one she can stick with is met with derisive comments about how easy things are for me. | Wife has jealousy issues related to my perfectionism. I'm inadequately equipped to respond empathetically to these issues. |
t3_4r7db7 | relationships | Me [18M] with my GF, [18 F] is she cheating | So my gf and I have been dating since freshman year of high school. We went to different schools and its worked out pretty well. The only problem is is how different we are--she is super smart and beautiful and wealthy and I'm just average.
We have a common group of friends that we all hang out with. Sometimes she hangs out with her other friends from her team and won't text me back in that time. I tell her that it's not htat hard to send a text and that she needs to text me back.
Because of her sport shes also around guys a lot. Now she's super gorgeous and everyone knows it so obviously it worries me. I'm worried that someone is going to steal her away from me. I tell her about this all the time.
Also, my family is kind of a pain. My dad said early on that she was using me because I would always drive to her house when we would hang out, even though she couldn't drive. My family hasn't been really accepting of her.
She has this event for her sport every year and one year my family was having a night together and she got really upset that I wasn't coming.
She's really smart so she got a really good offer to a school out of state. I told her that I didn't want her to go and that there's good schools here but she's going anyway. I'm really upset about this and I'm nervous shes' going to cheat on me there. | Should I be worried about my gf cheating/do you think she's cheated already? How can I keep her from cheating? |
t3_3lmwe1 | dating_advice | Just been heartbroken over co-worker, what should I do? | Hey Reddit, hopefully this is the right channel about something that just happened to me.
I work a startup for about 2 years now and this GORGEOUS girl started interning back in March. We hung out a few times over lunch and even catch the bus back home since we both live in the suburbs and commute downtown. Our conversations always seem to go very well, we laugh alot and we can't stop smiling at each other when we're together. Over our talks I find out she's single as am I but I never had the courage to ask her out. We do this for about a month and then she stops commuting back, rather hanging out with her friends.
Fast forward 7 months later, she gets promoted to full time employee and I'm super excited. We don't talk as together as often (only in the office when its work related) but I'm just about to go out at it and ask her out but only do I realize that she's been going out with another co-worker for maybe 2.5 months in secret. I'm currently floored and dunno what to do. Should I still go at it? Should I reveal how I found out? I'm really heartbroken right now as I thought we had a good connection but I was too scared to ask for all these months. What should be my next move Monday? | Wanted to ask a co-worker of 7 months out only to secretly know she's currently dating another co-worker for 2.5 months now. Advice? |
t3_2qe4ps | relationships | Me [18\F] with my boyfriend [24\M] I lied to him about my age, and now we're taking a confusing break. | My boyfriend have been together for 1.4 years, and I lied to him when I first met him about my age. I was 17 when I met him, and lied and said I was 19. There were so many times I wanted to fess up and tell him the truth but I was scared of losing him. The thought of losing him was heart wrenching and unbearable. Literally days before I was going to tell him the truth, he found out on his own. He went to a bar with one of his friends, and some guy I Went To school with told him my real age.
He told me he knew the truth, and after some pleading and begging he told me he would take a break with me. He said we aren't going to see other people, and we're not going to break up, he just needs time to come to terms with this, and needs time to work on ourselves, and for us to work on each other.
During this break we can't kiss, say I love you, or have sex, we have been on this break since sunday. I am just wondering if anyone can give me advice on what exactly breaks are, and what I should do? He wants to shut me out on this break instead of building on our relationship. I just don't know what to do because we have built a new house together, and we have been madly in love for so long.
I guess my question is, is this relationship salavagable? I literally have not lied to him about anything but this. How can I prove to him I can change and I am sorry? | lied to my SO about my age, he wants an extreme break, anything I can do or tell him to make it work? |
t3_21silx | relationship_advice | Reddit, I (22F) need to get over a broken heart. | I (22F) met him (28M) a month ago through a mutual friend. We talked everyday. We admitted we liked each other. We were very much compatible in every way possible. He was every kind of my type, and was very affectionate. We were moving too fast. My parents and my friends said he looked like trouble and I should get out while it's still early. We went out on a date, sparks flew, we made out, and it was my first kiss. I've never felt happier with someone than with him during that time coz I've never had a serious boyfriend. A few days later he stopped talking to me. I'm devastated. I know it was a fling, and people who fall too easily fall out too easily too. I know he's not for me, but it hurts that things didn't end up the way I wanted them to. It hurts, and I want to get over it. Please help. I know it's dumb of me to feel bad about a fling that I expected to be more, but I feel really bad. I keep thinking if I did something wrong to scare him away, or if my friends' warnings were correct and he just played me. Why do people take advantage of honesty. Was I too naive? How do I get over this? | Fell fast and hard for a guy who gave me my first kiss, he did a fade a few days later, now I feel bad. How to deal. |
t3_3u2cxa | relationships | Me M27 and new girl F25 cheated on our current love interest for each other | So I've been dating my current girlfriend F26 for almost 3 years and to make a long story short it has been a one sided relationship where I've been trying my hardest to fall in love with her but I haven't been successful.
Fast forward to the present I've been talking to this new girl that I've known since high school (just acquaintances) and asked her if she wanted to come to a friendsgiving that happened over the weekend and she said yes. This is where I start to get confused.
First off, why would she agree to go to a gathering of people where she doesn't know anyone? She currently has a love interest M25 and that relationship is also nearing 3 years.
So at the friendsgiving we ate, got drunk, and eventually found ourselves on a bed where we talked about our current relationships. We share a common problem where we both are unsatisfied with our respective relationships. One thing led to another and we eventually started to have an intense make out session where sex was definitely an option but I couldn't go through with it.
This was a wake up call for me and I realized that I have to end my current relationship as I've been in denial that it hasn't been the most healthy one. But what about this new girl? Am I being used? Or could there be a chance that she actually has been interested in me since high school and jumped on the opportunity to hang out.
Thanks if anyone out there is willing to help because I'm completely lost right now. | new girl and I both cheated to be with each other but I'm not sure if I'm being used or not. |
t3_1w7dv4 | travel | Connecting Flights or long lay over? | I'm planning to go to Antigua, Guatemala in March, and I have options for flying there.
I can either take a one-stop flight there, with an overnight layover in Houston. I like this option because I'd arrive in Guatemala City early in the morning, which seems smart and safe considering the violent reputation of Guatemala City. On the way back, I would have to have a one-stop with a layover in Virginia. The downside of this would be that I'd spend $100 on hotels/AirBnB places in Houston and Virginia.
My other option would be to take a two-stop flight, making my trek to Guatemala about 10 hours in the air, and stopping in New York and Miami. It would be the same on the way back, stopping in Washington DC and New York with two-stops back to Chicago. I like this option because I don't have to spend any money on hotels for layovers. I'm hesitant though because of the length of time that I'd be traveling, and especially since I'd arrive in Guatemala City at 5:30 at night. I'd rather arrive in the daytime, especially since I'm a solo female traveler. | 1 stop with overnight layover arriving in Guatemala City early in the morning, or 2 stops no overnight layover (no money towards hotels) arriving in Guatemala City in the evening (5:30pm)? |
t3_2gcdap | relationships | She has herpes, should I keep seeing her? | I'm [20M] and she [27f]. We are in a friends with benefits kind of relationship. She is a coworker of mine. All though not currently because classes have started and I cut down on my work hours. We started having sex around late April and about three weeks ago she told me she has herpes. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, that she is crazy and don't trust her. I thought the same thing originally.
Anyways, let me tell you why my dumb ass is still seeing her. Firstly, its the hormones. I'm a decent looking guy, but this girl is gorgeous. Secondly, we have a lot of fun together. We have a similar sense of humor. There is definitely some chemistry between us.
Now here is the problem. The thing is, I was never great with taking the relationship to the next level. Mainly because I'm scared about what may happen. In other words, I'm usually always in the friend-zone. The other thing is that I don't have any intentions of taking my relationship with her to the next level (nothing long-term). I'm just a college kid that wants to have some fun. I commute, so it's kind of difficult for me to make good friends. I also work on weekends.
I got tested for herpes, and it was negative. I know the tests aren't always accurate, but ill take it. My question is: Should I stay with her? My hormones are the main reason as to why I'm still seeing her. And I feel that I might regret it later in life( That's if I get herpes) I also think that I'd feel depressed and lonely if I stopped seeing her. I have friends that I sometimes hangout with, but I never really feel like I'm part of that group. | Girl that I have a lot of fun with has herpes. Should I keep seeing her? I would feel depressed If I stopped seeing her, but I feel like I might regret this decision later in life. |
t3_3ln9jr | tifu | TIFU by trying to give away my couches for free | My husband and I recently bought a new couch and we're trying to decide what to do with the old ones. We decided to put them out front and mark them as free since we live in a pretty low income neighborhood and thought someone could benefit from them. Within the hour a guy came along and asked if he could take one. My husband said sure and he said he had to run home and get his truck. He said he'd just take the cushions for now and would be back with his truck to transport the couch. Never saw him again. Now we have to pay the city $200 for disposal because we can't donate it and no one wants a free couch without any cushions. | Tried to give away some couches but some asshole took just the cushions. Now I have to pay $200 for disposal. |
t3_2z9ilg | relationships | My [28 M] dad [68 M] died, and I couldn't even go to the funeral or even say goodbye. Don't know what to feel. | My dad [68 M] has recently passed due to his COPD and a short bout with Pneumonia. He was ill for pretty much the entirety of my life, 26 years in total if I recall correctly, and I was helping him/taking care of him for, well, my entire life. Recently he couldn't leave the house anymore, so I more or less knew what was going to happen sooner rather than later, but everything still took me by surprise.
The timing was absolutely awful, due to the fact that I've recently had surgery - and after I came back home from the hospital the very first thing I can fully recall is paramedics taking my dad to the hospital. He was mostly unconscious and was breathing via a ventilator until his death - so I couldn't talk to him on the phone, and visiting the hospital was out of the question due to me not being recovered at all.
My recovery also meant that I was unable to go to the funeral - which I've actually fought against, but my doctor told me that might be unwise this soon after surgery. I feel really fucking sad that I couldn't even say goodbye to him, even if it was after his death. The last thing he said to me was "I love you, son. It's going to be alright" before I went to the hospital for my surgery, which is not true because it's seriously not alright at the moment. I honestly don't know what to feel, and how to behave right now.
I have even not told any of my friends... I'm sure they'd all say the same things and feel really bad, and I don't want to tell them, because I don't want to dump my problems on them, since they all have their own stuff they have to deal with. The only reason I'm even posting this here, is because my therapist suggested that I should tell someone, because I might be sustaining some form of denial by not talking to others about his death. | Dad died, I had surgery so I couldn't go to the funeral or say goodbye to him, shit sucks. Also, some backstory since for some reason I felt that I had to type it out. |
t3_hclqh | AskReddit | Need Advice - Sex offender living next door | We bought our house a year and a half ago and just found out last week from our neighbors across the road that our next door neighbor is a registered sex offender.
The story goes that he was delivering papers during the winter and asked an elderly woman if he could come in and warm up. When she let him in he proceeded to rape and beat her and then tried to choke out her husband. The man is schizophrenic and was on medication but has stopped taking them. He has been walking over to my neighbors house and talking to her and her daughters so she called the police and that is how she found out about his history. The police has been coming around for the past 2 weeks checking up on him.
My wife is a stay at home mom and we have 3 preschool aged daughters that are home with her all day. Needless to say she is an emotional wreck and no longer feels safe in our home. I am totally distraught as well and feel helpless as to what I can do to protect my family and make them feel safe and secure again.
I called the police and they weren't able to give me information because of the laws protecting peoples privacy in Canada. I will be going down to the police station to get some advice later today.
Has anyone been in a similar situation that might have some advice? Are there any people in law enforcement in Canada that could offer advice on how we can verify the information given to us by our neighbor? Please help! | Moved into new home, registered sex offender living next door. Not sure how to make my family feel safe again in our home. |
t3_1mda2i | offmychest | Some punk ass kid yelled at me to get a job | I am doing my job. My second job at 2 in the morning pounding real estate signs for a grand a month. Im tired as shit because I was at my day job since 8 am. I do this Fridays and Sundays because that was the price to pay to save my sons life. I'm ten grand in the hole from medical bills but my second son is 5 months and healthy now besides some expensive ass formula. He just graduated to doctor appointments every other month. He was premature do to lpw ambiotic fluid.
I make under 50k a year single income and this will help pay it off in about another year. No weekend vacations, no drinking, just work. I have about an hour more then up at 7 to feed the boys. If I was close to my truck I would have chased you down to have a chat. You we're on a moped dude, get a fucking car. I know I've seen him before around here and if I see you again we will have a talk about respect.
Anyways, thanks for listening. | some punk ass kid on a moped told OP to get a job while riding a moped. Works weekends around full time job on a to pay medical bills. |
t3_9i04l | AskReddit | Ask Reddit...Dear Reddit, My girlfriend just moved to my city and starts a new job Tuesday. Help me surprise her? | My girlfriend just moved here and starts a new job on Tuesday. This is her first proper move away from her hometown (and family) and she is friends with a handful of my friends, but knows no one of "her own" and is very nervous to start her new job (the job is in her field, but it's new people, different from her last job, new city, etc).
I want to surprise her with something at her apartment when she gets home from work her first day but I need some helping thinking of something appropriate and, hopefully, comforting.
Flowers...are a nice gesture, I guess, but it seems to be adding stuff on top of all the boxes that still are not unpacked, you know?
Really, I want her to know how excited I am for her to be here and I want to help her feel comfortable and safe.
Any suggestions? | Girlfriend moved to my city. Starts new job. I want to surprise her with something that will make her feel good. Thoughts? |
t3_2aqwsg | relationships | Me [28M] with my kinda dating[26F] 6 months only, need to know I did the right thing | Hi all. Just wanted to write this out and hopefully I made the right decision.
About 6 months ago I started seeing a girl casually. She had just come out of a long-term relationship 3 months prior, we kissed one night and from that day we spent a few times a week together. Having a beer, going out for dinner, movies in, and we were physically intimate.
A month ago she told me that she's not ready for a relationship at this time. I said that's ok as we were only casually dating and I know we hooked up soon after a long relationship, she has a stressful course at college and just the timing wasn't great for her.
That was all ok, the thing that wasn't ok is that she wanted us to still be friends and hang out like we usually do. Maybe not as frequently but she still wanted a friendship, the only thing she said she couldn't do was be intimate with me. I told her that I'm sorry but that I cannot do that. My reason was that I was falling in love with her and seeing her as a friend would be too hard for me. She didn't really like that answer and after a bit of back and forth I told her she can't expect me to be her friend due to my feelings (i think hers for mine are just as strong) and I asked her not to contact me anymore. I blocked her on facebook, deleted her phone number and since then I've had no contact.
I just want peoples thoughts on whether I did the right thing? I feel terrible for completely removing her from my life, but I also don't think it's fair of her to want me in her life without the relationship part I really wanted to work towards down the track.
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. | Casually dating a girl, she said can't be in a relationship with me, I told her that's fine and then cut all contact. Did I make the right decision? Or was I too mean? |
t3_1k4i9c | relationships | Girlfriend [23F] and I [27M] have uncertain future, not sure what to do now | My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years. Recently we've been having serious talks about the future, and it's pretty clear that our long-term goals and expectations don't align very well, and maintaining the relationship will probably get more difficult when she finishes grad school in a year. To summarize, she wants to spend her life living around the world while I'm happy where I am now, she doesn't want kids at all while I want the possibility to stay open, and she has different ideas about marriage and living arrangements than I do. We want each other to be happy and achieve our goals, so it seems likely that we'll have to part ways eventually unless one of us does some serious mind changing or we do some serious compromising.
It seems to us that we have three options at this point - keep going until something happens and we can't stay together anymore, break it off now, or try to negotiate our way out of this. Some issues (attitudes about where we live, for example) seem easier to negotiate than others (she doesn't want to live with a partner before marriage, and I don't want to marry before living with my partner).
So I guess we're asking for input on what Redditors would do in this situation, or if anyone has had to make a difficult decision about an otherwise nice relationship over future prospects and how it turned out. | incompatible long-term goals in an otherwise good relationship will make things difficult in the future, not sure what to do in the meantime. |
t3_k1thp | AskReddit | What is the most insane thing that you have experienced in a dream? I'll start. | Last night, I was dreaming that I was in the car with my mom. She was driving. I remember that it was raining really hard and she was driving very fast through the torrent. After spinning out and almost getting the both of us killed, she continued to drive. I immediately became angry and began yelling at her to let me out of the car. She retaliated by screaming something like "Now you'll never get to yell at me again!", then put the pedal to the metal, cranked the wheel sideways, running us into a house, killing the both of us instantly.
I woke up right away, pretty freaked out.
I was able to fall asleep a short while later, though. In the new dream, I encountered my mom again and told her all about what I had dreamt about her in the last dream. | Killed by mom in first dream, woke up and encountered her again in the very next dream and told her all about it. |
t3_1uh0vv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my sister [21 M/F] lifelong, hooked up with her best friend and betrayed her trust - what can I do? | My sister and I are really really close and have been through a lot together.
In a moment of impulsiveness and weakness last night, her best friend and I hooked up. Her friend was over at our house for the night because she stays over regularly and was up to do school work.
My sister had previously made it clear that it wasn't ok for me to hook up with her.
She's very upset and I feel like a rat-turd. I feel wracked with guilt and she is disgusted with me. I wish I could cryt o show her just how bad I feel. I wish I could take it back. but doesn't everyone...
Is there anything I can do? to gain back her trust? to make this easier for her?
:'( | I hooked up with my younger sister's best friend at our home. She doesn't trust me and I feel like shit. Is there anything I can do? |
t3_3budba | relationships | Me [22F] with my [21M] 2 months, plans to meet parents fell through, he started ignoring me the same day. | Things moved fast, but very well and he asked me to meet his parents for happy hour. The plans fell through because they had an emergency back home. We decided to go to happy hour anyways, where I saw my parents, but they didn't see me.
I asked if he wanted to meet them, but neither of us were ready so we went somewhere else. It seems planned, but it was a total coincidence that my parents were at the same restaurant. I think he thinks I planned it and tried to trick him into meeting them.
That was one week ago. Ever since then he has been talking less and less to me, and has completely ignored me for two days.
If he wanted me to meet his parents why would he freak out and disappear, when we accidentally ran into mine in public? | asked me to meet his parents, plans fell through because of an emergency on their end, he stopped talking to me. |
t3_1hbp5w | relationships | I [F20] have judgmental Asian parents who disapprove of the people I care most about. | I'm F[20] and my entire life I've had to be conscious of the friends that I allow over to my house because my parents are pretty racist. They only really like straight edge white people and Asians as long as neither of them have piercings or tattoos. One example would be that I once got grounded for a week because I had a friend who was relatively dark skinned over and they immediately pulled me aside to tell him to go home. They hate anyone who has piercings other than females with the generic ears piercings. It really troubles me because I feel so angry at them for being this way, but I know it's because I was raised in America and they were raised in Vietnam.
Recently I broke up with my boyfriend[20] who was a straight-edge white guy and really polite. My parents really loved him and were upset with me for weeks after the break up. I've recently been dating a new guy who is half black and half French[20], and although they haven't met him yet, I'm afraid to introduce him. I really care about this guy and a good relationship with my family is important to me. He is a really great guy and I wish my parents could just see that instead of physical appearance.
Today my mom asked me to show her a picture of [new boyfriend] and I chose the most average picture with no piercings showing. It really hurt my feelings when my mom's first reaction was "Ew. He's not as cute as [old boyfriend]."
I really want my parents to try and meet all of my friends, not just the ones who I think they will approve of. They are all good people with big hearts and it pains me to see my parents reject someone because of their looks. How can I get them to open up or at least let them know it hurts me when they say negative things about the people I care for? | I recently broke up with a white guy my traditional Asian parents loved and began dating a black/french guy who they already disapprove of before ever meeting. |
t3_33mwbt | relationships | Me [24F] and my roommate [21M] of 8 months are developing a deeper friendship and I am starting to become attracted to him. | Normally I wouldn't be insecure about a development like this in a relationship, I am generally pretty well versed at navigating my way through.
The problem is, I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 2.5 years almost 2 months ago and don't really feel I am ready to just jump back into a romantic relationship. My ex boyfriend lived in the same house as my roommate and I for about 6 months before we split. I haven't really seen him since and the breakup has been exceptionally smooth and very mutual.
I am concerned that I may unknowingly lead on my roommate. It's a pretty obvious and mutual attraction and we have been spending A LOT of time together over the last few weeks. We genuinely enjoy the company of one another.
My ex is no longer a part of the picture and he never will be, I am just worried I am not giving myself enough time to recover but also feel so happy and content when I spend time with my roommate. I am afraid of what might happen if and when we take our relationship to the next level.
What should I do? | Just got out of a long and serious relationship and developing feelings for my roommate, need advice on which direction to take next. |
t3_339ktn | relationships | Me - [17/M]. I think that my mother[59/F] has a child I know nothing about and I don't know should I ask her about it or not | First of all, I apologise if this is a bit hard to read - I'm a terrible writer and english is my second language
Long story short - I was looking through the family archive out of curiosity and stumbled upon my mother's old soviet passport. I looked through the pages and to my horror discovered something very weird. Back in the ussr, you didn't get a passport util you were 16, instead there was a space for children in your parent's passport.
Well, there was someone in my mothers passport. Birth year - 1975. This is years before my parents met, and I checked and they didn't include stillborn children in the passports. I knew that my mom had a very short marriage with a man before she met my dad, but she never mentioned having a baby. She generally doesn't like to talk about her past in the soviet union, as I understand she grew up in a horrible family with her dad being violent towards her and her sisters. She didn't have any contact with relatives since 1980 when she left the soviet union.
So what do you think, should I ask her about it? I'm very curios, and even somewhat frustrated that she docent tell me anything about her past. But of course I understand that it may be very hard to share such traumatic memories. | It seems that I have a half-brother somewhere in Russia and my mother hasn't told me anything about him. Feeling doubtful about asking my mother. |
t3_owt5v | relationships | Long distance and looking for jobs/relocating. How do we handle this as a couple? Any experiences? | Me (F, 22) and him (M, 22), been together for almost 2 1/2 years. Been long distance for 4 months, he lives in NY, I live in NH.
My boyfriend and I are in a situation. As recent college grads, we're looking for jobs. So I guess these questions are for people who dated in college and continued dating after. How did you and your significant other manage finding jobs/choosing where you'd like to live? Did you move in together right away? Did one of you get a job and the other relocated?Move in together? Live separate?
By boyfriend has only lived at home and with a roommate in college, so he's expressed that he would like to live on his own first before us moving in together. There is where it get a little tougher for the relocating thing, as we would both be looking for apartments in the same city, but two different places. If that kind of thing even comes up. Right now, we're just trying to figure but how to be around each other.
Do anyone have any advice with/experience in this kind of situation? It feels extremely tough to balance everything and I would very much like to stay with him. We've both expressed that even if we can't be near each other, we're going to keep dating long distance until we can be. This is just something I am wondering. | Boyfriend and I are long distance and looking for jobs, but don't know how to approach the whole relocating/being around each other with the tough job market. |
t3_lmrn0 | AskReddit | How do I gracefully kick out my mother? | My mother has been living with me and my boyfriend for a little over two months because she moved up to Portland and needs to find work. The problem is that she has become progressively hard to live with, she feels entitled to take what she wants without asking, rearranging our things at will, and generally being disrespectful and ungrateful for us letting her stay here for free. My boyfriend has been recovering the last couple of years from stress related digestive issues and he is really starting to make lots of progress and is slowly regressing. We also seem to argue way more often than we ever have before. My mother has nowhere else to go but we can't take it any longer. How do we firmly and respectfully let her know she needs to go? | Need to kick my mom out, she lives with us rent free, she is unemployed after relocating two months ago, causing problems with my relationship and causing serious stress to my S/O that is making him regress. |
t3_2nzbe7 | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | Hey,
I got rejected once again and I don't know how often I can endure this... I am 23 and haven't had a real girlfriend yet (> 2 months). The girls I choose all turn out to be pretty insecure and don't know what they want, so they turn me down at some point. I have no trouble getting girls as I am a decent looking guy, but everytime I genuinely like a woman, it fails.
Usually it goes like this: I am interested in woman, ask her out, we go out and it goes great. This proceeds and we kiss/have sex and then suddenly it's off. By that time, I usually fell for her already, because it's very rare for me to find a woman I truly connect with. So they just don't have the time anymore or I get the "look..." talk. Once a woman told me "I only used you". Ouch.. the hurt.
And while I can get girls for sex only, I really want a serious relationship at some point... And I don't know how to handle rejection after rejection when I already fell for her. It exhausts me, it breaks me and I lose all hope. I have no idea where I go wrong, but this is killing me.
I don't even know what I'm asking for, maybe just kind words to get me through this. It's awful. This story has happened at least 5 times now in the last 3 years and I just can't do it anymore. I just want to give up already. It hurts so much and I cannot understand how this is never working out for me. No matter what I do. | Hurt after rejection at the point where I genuinely care for a woman. Happens too often, don't know how to handle it. |
t3_1e12d1 | dating_advice | Is it ok for me [25M] to contact a girl [24?F] who gave me her number 10 months ago? | We met on a flight and really hit it off and had a few hours of friendly conversation. Spent our layover at DIA over a drink. I was in a relationship at the time (open about it from the get go). We decided to swap numbers because I was looking for a new vet and she worked at a good clinic in my city. Ended up finding a closer clinic. I am no longer in that relationship and have been wanting to contact this girl. Would that be considered way too long/weird to send a text and suggest we go for a drink? | Met a girl last summer while I was in a relationship. She gave me her number anyway. Relationship ended. Has it been too long to call? Would it be creepy to ask her for a drink after all this time? |
t3_39iur0 | relationships | I [M14] feel responsible for my [F14] friend "taking a break"/breaking up with her boyfriend. | Hi there! I moved to a new city at the beginning of the school year, and on my first day the awesome girl from the title invited me over to talk to her. Over the course of the year, we've become very very close, with her friends referring to us as OTP (One True Pair) and "very attached to eachother".
Anyway, her ex-boyfriend of less than a year has recently been very very jealous going as far as telling her not to talk to me because we spend a lot of time together, and getting his friends to try to ask me if I liked her and if I understood that she had a boyfriend. My current status with her is being very attracted to her.
Obviously, I respected the fact that they were dating and didn't try to make any advances, but sometimes she puts her arms on my leg or on my shoulder, or touches legs and just leaves it there. Neither of us acknowledge it or any of the other flirting we do (I contained myself to just minor teasing whilst they were dating).
But now, I feel really really bad for not telling her to stop putting her legs on me/her arm on my shoulder etc. Her ex didn't trust me to respect him dating her (I did) and would always chew her out. I tried my best to keep my mouth shut while she was contemplating breaking up with him, but I ended up saying that she should break up with him since they have trouble trusting eachother.
Am I at fault here? If you need me to clarify, just ask please. I really need help and I'm just rambling right now because I can't think straight. Also, a side-note I'm incredibly scared to tell my other friend who is also the ex's friend that I feel at fault because she might tell him and things could get ugly. | I feel terrible for not telling a girl in a relationship to stop flirting with me, and feel resposible for their breakup. |
t3_10r0pf | BreakUps | Ex broke the no contact rule to send me some pictures. Not sure why I care. | I [26f] broke up with my boyfriend [23m] almost exactly a month ago. We talked a little the first week and a half or so and haven't talked at all since. No texting, blocked on facebook, no calls, and we hang out at different places.
This guy was very, very mean last time we talked. He made fun of me for being sad, called me names, and completely squashed any desire I had to want him in my life. I've been doing really well, I have sad moments, but very few and they don't last longer than a few minutes.
Today my calendar fell and when I went to pick it up, the first thing I saw was what would have been our 6 month anniversary, felt a twinge and moved on. Later my roommate started watching a show that he and I used to watch together. Little sad feeling for about a minute. Realized tomorrow will be four weeks since the break up, feel a little odd and moved on.
Then he texted me. He sent me two pictures from my graduation and told me I deserved to have them. I thanked him and sent him some of him (playing guitar, hanging out with friends, etc.) He was mostly nice, just mentioned one little thing and said we didn't need to argue about it. I had no intention of arguing, I thanked him for the pictures and said I hope he is doing well. He said "yep" and that was the end of the conversation.
I just wonder why he would do this now. He was very hateful and mean during the break up. He was doing his best to hurt me, make me feel bad about myself, and make me feel guilty. I appreciate having the pictures, but confused about how he could be such a dick and then do something nice out of the blue.
I have no plans to contact him again, even though I am curious and think it's odd that after a few things that made me think about him, he texted that same day.
I do not want this guy back, but I was doing really well and no I have confusing feelings that I can't explain or get rid of. | Ex sent pictures (of me) after not having contact in weeks and being incredibly mean last time we talked. Why? How should I feel about this? Why do I even care, I do not want anything to do with him? |
t3_n6fyd | AskReddit | Should I invite my friends that are girls that currently have boyfriends to my birthday party? (I'm a guy) | Alright, so here's the situation. I am a guy and I've been going to a certain university for 2 and a half years and I'm majoring in graphic design, this is slightly relevant because in these design classes it's easy to strike a friendship with people. Because you can talk to people about they're concept or just how the project is coming along. So, I've made some really good friends. The kind of friends that are irreplaceable. Some of them happen to be girls and I've been friends with them for about 2 years. They currently have boyfriends. I've never met their boyfriends. My birthday is around the corner and I'm going to throw a little party. So, my questions is would it be out of the normal to invite these girls? | I have friends that are girls. They have boyfriends that I've never met. Should I invite these girls to my birthday party? |
t3_2wwkq0 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting I have a beard | Not a big fuck-up, but definitely didn't make my morning. So, its been pretty cold out so I've spent the past two months growing out a beard to keep me warm for my 25-ish minute walk to class. In fact, its been so cold and snowy that we haven't had class for an entire week. When today we have class for the first time in forever, unsurprisingly I miss the alarm and am rushing to get out the door.
It's pretty cold out today. Not the coldest, but with windchill around zero degrees Fahrenheit. But, like I said, it's been a good 10 degrees or so colder for the last week, so it really shouldn't be too bad. I head outside, feel fine, and start walking to class.
Then my face starts to get cold. Like really cold. Borderline painfully cold, but I thought hey, I don't have any excuse to complain about the cold how I'm dressed, so it's all mental and I should suck it up. I get about 2/3rds of the way there when I finally cave and lift my hoodie up to my mouth so I can use my breath to warm my face. And then I notice I can only get my mouth about half way open.
I then came to the chilling realization that I had completely forgotten to dry my beard when I got out of the shower, and that it was now completely frozen to my face. No wonder it felt so freaking cold. | Forgot to dry my beard, and got slapped in the face by the cold, long dick of monday morning. |
t3_n9zhy | AskReddit | What's your worst/best story of sending the wrong file to your teacher/professor? I'll start... | Well, thankfully, I was on the better side of this story, but here it goes:
My friend was taking an online class in criminal psychology. In one assignment, they were to do research on "token resistance" - which is, in a case about rape, used as a defense (i.e. the woman was resisting but when saying no, really meant yes). I was with her while she was doing research, and, being the funny person I am, decided to write a ~~story~~ very graphic porn scene about it. I then saved it under 'Token Resistance_Final Draft'. Keep in mind, she is with me this whole time, and saw me save it under this file name. Better yet, I even made a joke: "Imagine you actually sent this to your prof !! HAHAHA".
Fast forward two months later...
My friend calls me up telling me how screwed she was for her criminal psychology course, because she didn't have time to complete all the assignments, so she just sent off whatever she had. Well, you all know how this ends... One of those files she sent was in fact, Token Resistane_Final Draft. Needless to say, she didn't pass the course (but wasn't going to anyway, so I don't take *too* much blame). | I wrote a graphic porn scene and saved it under a convincing file name, friend sent it to her prof thinking it was one of her assignments.*** |
t3_3usvnh | relationships | Haven't hung out recently with a friend, how to hangout again? [20M/20F] [Non-Romantic] | I've known a girl for a couple years now, over summer I feel we became good friends, however we haven't really hangout in the last month and I miss hanging out. I was hoping to get some advice?
I feel we really "clicked" and it was so much fun! We went hiking, went to the theater, went for dinner, swimming, and just hungout, talking until 4AM, talking about our families, or politics, or whatever!
We have very different opinions on some topics, for instance gay marriage, yet it was still very fun to discuss, as we are both open minded about it. It is very strange encountering someone who feels so differently than myself. It was so much fun!
I feel like I've lost my connection with someone who could potentially be a very good lifelong friend. | I became good friends with someone over summer, we haven't hungout much now that school started and I miss it. Also read edit. |
t3_z40bo | AskReddit | As a child, what did your parents tell you happened to your pets when they died? | Years ago we had two hamsters. My little sister was two at the time and walked into the kitchen and up to my mother crushing a hamster in each hand and proclaimed,"Look at the lovely fellows" My mother managed to get the hamsters out of the childs grip of death and put them back in their cage but they had obviously been broken beyond repair.
She went back to the kitchen and let the killer two year old run off. Ten minutes later the silence in the house told her that something was up so she went back to the hamster cage and found the child trying to force the crippled hamster into the cab of a tonka truck.
The hamsters were taken to a family friend who is a vet and the poor things had to be put down.
Since me and my sibling had been out of the house that day we were told when we returned that the hamsters,"Have been given to some poor children in Dublin because it is warmer up there and they can't afford their own pets"
It was only last night that I learned the true fate of Dumpy and James. I am 27. | Two year old sister crushed hamsters to death. My fellow siblings and I were told they were given away to poor people |
t3_4fo3no | dating_advice | 31M - should I contact her (32F) after she broke things off after 4th date | Saw her around a month through online dating app 4 times + usual texting over a month. Last Sunday she broke things off before we were supposed to meet again saying she met someone and wished me luck finding someone special.
Our fourth date I cooked and had her over but didn't initiate anything sexual other than the kiss goodbye because she sat on my couch with her arms folded... in hindsight I should've tried.
Now I see her 4 days later on another dating app where she seems to have been "active" just last night. Should I contact / text her... I still like her and the whole way things went down just bothers me for obvious reasons, is there any way of initiating things to get another shot? | she broke it off saying she found someone afer 4th date, now she's active on another dating site 4 days later. I still like her. |
t3_1owjtf | weddingplanning | Bridesmaid Dillema | I have 3 sisters (1 full and 2 step), I was going to make them bridesmaids and my best friend, flying in from London, my Maid of Honor. My thinking was that I didn't want to hurt any sister's feelings in choosing one over the others or to separate step from full (a sister is a sister to me).
Also, my best friend is flying 3,000 miles to get there - that deserves some honor for just that! lol She also checks in with me at least once a week to see how I am doing and how planning is going...none of the sisters have done that even once.
Thinking my decision was made, and thought out and the right one, I received an email from my Mom last night. It basically said that my youngest sister was at their house this weekend and repeatedly tried to get them to tell her if she was MOH or just a bridesmaid. Mom says that if I don't pick her, I will ruin her and my relationship for life.
What are your thoughts? | want UK based BFF as MOH, self-absorbed sis will never speak to me again if I don't speak to her, thus sayeth Mom....Help! |
t3_1zwqdg | relationship_advice | [22M&F]My GF said I "wasn't her first choice," am I overreacting? | 22 M&F. I'm the M she's the F. Together 2 years +.
My SO and I were having a chat and she was trying to explain my initial appeal to her. I can't remember word for word, but I was expressing that I feel I'm not the "hot" type of guy who caught her eye and got her crushing. I feel that it's more what I did that got her interested but that's another story. She responded by saying that she thought I "wasn't ugly or anything..." and that I "wasn't her first choice."
She recoiled from the statement after she realized what she said. I didn't say much in response because I didn't want to have an irrational outburst or anything like that.
As is probably apparent from the first paragraph, I have my insecurities about my appeal with her, particularly in the beginning of our time knowing each other. On one hand, I don't feel like she was attracted to me in a physical sense initially. I know I'm not ugly, but a person's appeal isn't apparent to 100% of their peers. I feel like my appeal was based more on my approach and my actions thereafter than any kind of lustful captivation.
The other issue is that when we were talking initially, there was another guy she was involved with as well. Since we weren't exclusive at that time it was fair game. However, mutual friends told me that I was the back-up plan, that she was stringing me along while pursuing the other guy. I don't know how much truth there is to this, but two separate people told me this. I decided not to let hearsay dictate my actions but I did let my SO know what I heard and that it made me uncomfortable.
Perhaps this was a slip of the tongue, but I'm finding it hard to ignore because it pretty much speaks to my insecurities word-for-word. Maybe I'm being obtuse, but I don't see how you can accidentally say something like that if you feel a certain way for someone.
What do you all think? I could use a neutral opinion on the subject. | Girlfriend said (had a slip of the tongue and said) I wasn't her first choice. I was worried I wasn't already. |
t3_2q1z4p | relationships | I [20f] like my friend [20m] of 6years and don't know what to do! | I have known this guy for 14 years, but we have been really close friends since freshman year of high school. We go to universities in different states, but we Skype every Sunday so we are still super close.
We are now both back for the break and have plans to hang out quite a bit. We always fake flirt with each other, the over dramatic type. Anyways, I've always had a thing for him but I don't think he feels the same so I push my feelings back.
Four years ago I told him that I had used to like him, but he said he thinks I'm a great friend. He's never had a girlfriend so maybe he is just shy or scared. Things may have possibly change since then, so how should I go about bringing that up? | I've been friends with this guy a long time and I want to bring up being in a relationship but don't know how. |
t3_15kdl8 | tifu | TIFU by cutting the tip of my finger off... Citrus fruit is evil. | Reddit, Today... I fucked up.
Well, actually, it wasn't today. It was about 6 years ago when I was dating my neighbour.
I shall tell you a story, a funny story, a BLOODY story, of my sheer retarded actions involving a knife... and an orange.
I was in the kitchen, after seeing my father peel an orange with a swiss army knife. I had the same swiss army knife and was terribly failing at peeling the orange.
I slip the knife into the bottom of orange when, well fuck you've already seen the title.
I didn't even feel the pain. I felt the metal, the cold, smooth metal.
The orange turned from a light orange colour to a very dark red.
I knew immediately what I'd done.
I grasped the blade with my bleeding hand so that I could put down the orange. I then removed the blade.
As I pulled the blade out, not only did it separate the two cut pieces of the tip so that the tip of my finger was hanging by a thread of skin, it also dragged in the citric acid from the sides of the blade.
At this point I'm standing in a pool of blood and leaving red footprints around me.
And that's when I yelled.
I applied a bandage of gauze that I kept on there for about 2 weeks without cleaning or replacing. (BIG MISTAKE.)
When hanging out with my GF, she suggests that I remove the bandage and check the wound.
I agree, and start unwrapping by finger.
I get the the last CM of gauze... where the wound had healed over the bandage.
At that point I had to actually tear a piece of dirty, bloody gauze out from the inside of my body.
The nerves were somewhat restored during the portion of time the bandage was on for, and even after that, but I still have only half the feeling in the tip of that finger.
I still have that knife to this day. | I cut the tip of my finger off peeling an orange, and had to rip a bandage out from under my flesh. Citrus fruit is bad for you. |
t3_2zecel | relationships | Me[21 M/F] with my girl of interest[21 M/F], need a bit of texting advice | So I met this girl and we have went on 2 dates. We are clicking pretty damn well.
***
So our texting has been great. Our conversations never really end, one of us usually falls asleep and doesnt reply, but we reply back the next morning. So we never have to initiate anything. It just keeps flowing.
I did end the conversation one night, and we went on a date the next morning. and I didn't text her for like 2 days, but she would occasionally snapchat me in that 2 day time period. So I initiated the convo that time. Our texts are SUPER LENGTHY, and we talk about a lot. Lots of emojis and teasing.
I ended the conversation last night, with a goodnight. She then snapchatted me this morning, but hasn't texted yet.
Should I just wait a day or 2 more? I really don't want to annoy her or make her get tired of me
***
I feel like my texting game has ALWAYS been my weak point.
Ladies how would you feel in this situation?
I also haven't kissed her yet, since both dates were pretty casual during the day dates. We had a dinner and movie planned, but I had to cancel due to family coming over. So she understood, and we decided on lunch the next day.
If that helps any! | need texting advice, don't want to annoy her, our texting has been really good though, never a dull moment. |
t3_4piy24 | relationships | Me [29 F] and my wife [32 F] are struggling with toxic family members who now want a family photo | Background: My wife and I have been legally married for several years. Shortly before we were married we had a major falling out with her sister. Older sister has always been a toxic, manipulative member of the family. Sister says she accepted our relationship, but then refused to bring her children to our wedding reception (all under 10). I had been apart of the children's lives for about ten years. This really hurt us, and we tried to sit down and have a discussion about it; we made the decision that if they didn't want to bring the kids (who we love dearly) to the reception, that it was dishonest for them to come and pretend to support us. There had been years of other toxic behavior. We cut contact after that conversation, and haven't really spoken in over a year or two. It was great to have the drama out of our lives, but my wife was still hurt and felt guilty for cutting contact.
Now, sibling wants a family photo with everyone (parents, all siblings, kids). We respectfully declined the invitation from my mother-in-law/wife's mom -- feeling that without a conversation or effort to reconcile that this was just a rouse (or playing to my wife's parents that she was "trying"). We have always had a positive, respectful relationship with her parents (though it has taken careful boundary setting).
Wife's mom is livid/dramatic now that we have declined, saying things like "what did I do to deserve this?" and (to my wife) "You're a part of this family whether you like it or not." This was my favorite: "We've never asked for anything" and "and for the remaining years your dad and I have we would like to pretend we have a complete family."
How do we communicate back to wife's mom? What do we do now? Should we just take the stupid picture or do we need to stick to the boundaries? This has been incredibly emotional for my wife, and hard on both of us. | Me and my wife are being pressured to be a part of a family photo after a year of no contact with a toxic sibling. What do we do? |
t3_4sebpc | personalfinance | 21, starting an accelerated nursing program this Fall. Costs are high, but long-term benefits are totally worth it, how do I go about paying? | Hey r/PF,
A little back story, I am a recent college graduate in the field of health sciences. As you all know, to work in the healthcare field some further education is required after a bachelor's degree. My degree is pretty generic despite my business minor, as it is designed to be a "pre-health" path preparing students for their field of choice after graduation.
When I initially entered college I planned on becoming a physical therapist which would require a min. of three extra years of school. In my junior year I decided I would pursue a degree in nursing and take the accelerated path as it is only a 14 month program. I will be attending a very prestigious school in the Northeast and the degree/program is known for its competitiveness. With that being said, it is not going to be cheap.
I am looking at roughly $60k in total for the program, with $12,500 in financial aid awards for 2016-2017. I plan on borrowing $50k in order to cover the tuition costs of this school. Fortunately, I was awarded a decent amount of money throughout my undergrad degree, so I do not owe as much as the average college graduate in the states. My overall question is, where should I borrow from? This is clearly my second undergrad degree (accelerated bachelor of science in nursing) so I cannot depend on federal aid as heavily as I once did. I do understand that this is a large investment at this stage in my life, but I am a male entering the field of nursing in the tri-state area. Not only will I create a stable work environment for the rest of my career, but my salary won't be too shabby for a 23 year old either.
Right now I plan on applying to Discover Student Loans' Health Professions option, as I have already used Sallie Mae for a private loan. If you have any advice on other loan options, tips, or simply words of encouragement, please do not hesitate to share. | Attending a 2nd degree, accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree this Fall. Costs are high, but long-term benefits are totally worth it, how do I go about paying? |
t3_2v9krj | tifu | TIFU by thinking I was home alone, then nearly getting hit by my mom's car | **Context**
I woke up at 11:30am, called downstairs, heard nothing. Checked my parents and siblings room, nothing. So, I called my Mom. She told me she was out taking my sister to dance class, I asked her where my Dad was, and she replied "At the gym". So I thought to myself, I'm home alone, cool. Anyhow, since it was a Sunday afternoon I decided there was no point of getting changed, so I happily walked around my house in nothing but my underpants.
**The Fuck Up**
Everything was going fine until I heard a noise upstairs. I walked upstairs assuming it was nothing until I heard footsteps. Heart beating, I lean my ear to my parents door, and hear these footsteps getting closer. Then I hear running water. I run into my basement and quickly call my Mom. I tell her "Mom, there is someone in the house. He's in your room". She calmly replied with "oh, it's probably nothing. Go outside and get some fresh air, ride your bike. I'm on my way home". Taking her advice, I run outside, (without shoes, still in my underwear) and begin riding away. I leave my driveway, franticly pedaling, scared out of my mind. All of the sudden a car is coming right at me pretty quickly. I jolt to the side of the road, and land in the grass of my neighbors house. My Mom quickly gets out of her car, and begins to die of laughter when she sees my terrified naked body lying in the grass. All of the sudden I get a call from my Dad. Apparently my Dad didn't actually go to the gym, and was in his room the whole time. Needless to say, dinner that night was pretty awkward. | I thought an intruder was in my house, Rode my bike away, Nearly got hit by my Mom's car, It was my Dad in the house all along. |
t3_25eclq | relationships | Me [27M] with my date [23F] having trouble getting second date after a really good first date. | Hey,
So I met this great girl via Tinder. The ones I attract on there tend to be looking for dates then hook ups as that's what I am looking for.
Before we met we talked on the phone a good four hours across a few days to just talk and get to know eachother.
Anyway, I met this girl three Wednesdays ago after work for drinks then we went to dinner. The drinks and dinner went over great. I took her to a nice italian restraunt and we had wine, salad, appetizer, entree. After the date we went to my place. We made out pretty quickly and fooled around a bit.. third base for sure.
Anyway, since this I havent seen her! I tried to meet with her the past two weeks and no go. I honestly feel like I am bothering her now but havent texted her since last Wednesday. Two Fridays ago we did talk on the phone and she says she doesnt want to send me the wrong signals she is just really busy and is interested in seeing me. This past week she went out of town Thurs-Sun so I couldn't see her, nor did I contact her.
I just want to know how to rekindle this without seeming needy. She did say I overwhelmed her a bit but she is okay with that. She just doesnt need that much attention, but a little.
Help!
We talk great on the phone and I want to call her. Im just not sure how long I should wait? Should I call her tonight? Or wait til Wed?
I am 27, she is 23. Also we both agreed we had a great time our first date and that we should go out again. I just feel im working too hard for this and am coming across as needy :( | first date went great, trouble getting second date. Feel like putting too much in without enough from her. Dont want to be needy. |
t3_1wm4wu | relationships | Me 21 F him 21 M I might have cheated? | I went back home for a month. It was the longest time I had spent at home in 3 years. My family is emotionally abusive and has been physically abusive in the past. We get along better now, but they still view me as property and yell at me for not being feminine enough. Plus I have to play marriage counselor to my two parents. It isn't fun.
I've been diagnosed with Depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and PTSD. I don't really know what I have. But I was seeing and hearing things quite frequently and not acting like myself.
My boyfriend can be extremely clingy. Especially when long distances are involved. There was a party, he called me and screamed at me over the phone. I said it was over, I was tired of being screamed at, and tired of being called selfish. He said fine. I hung up and started having a panic attack so I took Lorazepam, but I had been drinking.
That night I slept with one of my friends (female), but I don't really remember it. I woke up naked in someone else's house.
My boyfriend and I got back together 2 days later. I tried to tell him what happened when I got back. He threw records at me and kept calling me a retarded bitch. I tried to explain, and he said "you made this all up because you want to hurt me right." And I lied and said yes.
We've been getting a long a lot better. He's calmed down. But I still feel so guilty, should I tell him? And more importantly Did I cheat? is that cheating? I feel wretched.
On top of that I'm having so many problems with anger. I feel like a pet and not a human being. I feel like my relationship with my parents and my boyfriend (even though we are on good terms now and trying to get better) make my anxiety/depression worse. | Might have cheated, not sure if it counts, but feel guilty and I'm not sure if I should come forward. |
t3_383cy1 | relationships | My [22M] Girlfriend of 4 years [22F] cheated on me with her best female friend. | I was just told last night, and I feel sick. A week ago my girlfriend went to her old state to go visit a friend and I thought nothing of it, but apparently near the end of the week the two of them acknowledged they had feelings for each other and had sex. I found out all the details.
She's been distant ever since she's got back and I knew something was wrong. I was not prepared for this.
I'll cut to the chase. I want to hate her. With every fiber of my being I want to. But I can't. I look at her and I just want to hold her. She regrets hurting me, but I don't think she regrets exploring with her friend.
We talked for a couple hours about us and her now confused sexuality and I'm getting huge mixed signals. She says she loves me and part of me believes that. But she is being honest and saying that she still has questionable intense feelings about her friend. We're sleeping on it before we decide what to do, and a big part of me wants to stay when she figures herself out. I'm just worried though that she will go through the motions with me out of pity but keep up the emotional bond with the friend.
Oh god reddit what should I do? | Girl I love more than anything cheats on me with her female best friend. Questioning her sexuality and her feelings for the friend. Can this work if we both try? |
t3_3crcdr | relationships | F(24) breakup, what to do with next weeks plans? | I was casually seeing a friend who I had been close with for a few years, but things went south quickly. He was flirting with other girls, was being very secretive, wouldn't claim we were exclusive and so on. A million red flags, so I'd rather not waste my time, and told him it was best if we didn't see each other anymore and to please not contact me.
Anyway, we haven't talked in a month and a half, but we have tickets to a comedy event next week. I paid $100 for my ticket, and I've tried to sell it online with no luck. I can't sell it to any of my friends for obvious reasons. I feel a little upset that I wasted $100 on these tickets but don't want to cause any commotion. Would it be inappropriate to reach out to his brother and see if he would like the tickets? I'm not sure if he even told his brother that we aren't talking. I would rather not talk to him about it, because I feel like I've moved past the situation for the most part. But, I would hate to see the tickets go to waste. I'm not sure if I should message him, his brother, or just let them go? | have tickets for a comedy show next week...should I message his brother and try to give them to him or is it better off just wasting the seat/ticket? |
t3_xmhkl | relationships | Boyfriend of 6+ years might be gay or at least bi. Confused and hurt.. | So...
Me(22F) and him(22M) have been together since we met in HS 7 years ago. I have never had a reason to suspect him to be anything else than straight, our sex life is good and he's very active in our relationship and never really makes me feel unwanted.
The worries and suspicions started when I was writing an essay 2 weeks ago, I saw his facebook was up and that someone had message me. I have to admit I let my curiosity win cause I didn't recognize the name so I read the conversations.
Apparently it was a guy he had met at school who was gay and my bf was talking to him about his "desires" for sex with the same sex, he said he had been like this for a while and that he was worried he would cheat on me because the urges were quite strong.
He talked about something called "grindr" and it put me into research mode, I got into his gmail account and found his account he had made. There I found something that shocked me even further, convos with multiple men who actually live in walking distance, and these weren't "how are you doing", it was serious sexual messages with pics.
I couldn't talk to him about it because he was at his parents place for a week, but I decided to confront him when he came back but he's been back now for 4 days and I can't bring myself to do it.
He's such a wonderful guy but it just breaks my heart he would do stuff like this with other people. Also, I have no idea how to get through to him about his orientation.
Do you guys have any suggestions on how I should handle this. | Found out my bf has been having gay thoughts and is having sexual convos with men online, how to confront him? |
t3_43tlu3 | relationships | my best friend [29/F] started dating a guy she barely knows [24/M] and I am feeling hurt | my best friend who, I have feelings for just met this guy 3 weeks ago and decided was to be his girlfriend a couple of days ago. Friend was on vacation for awhile and I told her my feelings during that. She said we would discuss this when she got back and I remained hopeful. But she choose him because had this strong instant connection and we did not even have a chance to discuss it. Hell we didn't even get a chance to hang out.
Right now I can't tell her I think she is rushing things and that usually ends up with someone hurt. As she will think I am trying to break them up.
I did tell her I need some space right now. She isn't aware of how bad I am taking it, I can barely eat, barely sleep, having difficulty paying attention in college.
While I don't think new guy will last I know I can't count on it as despite it being a rushed relationship it could still work out. What I really need to do is get out of this rut and I don't know how. | best friend started dating guy she barely knows and I want to know how to get out of the rut of being hurt |
t3_38zoxs | relationship_advice | She [20/f] is confusing the hell outta me [21/m] | Ok, so I met this girl about 3 months ago, and immediately felt something for her. Got her number, began talking lightly, and soon we were going on at least one date a week, usually two. Anyway, fast forward to a few weeks ago or so when I brought up the fact that I have feelings for her. She had told me previously that she wasn't looking for anything, which I respected, but I just felt like it's something she should know.
She said that she really likes me, but she doesn't want a relationship right now. I asked her if it was something for the future or if i should just forget about it all-together, and she said she didn't know, but FOR NOW (she emphasized that) we should be friends. She cried because she thought I was going to stop talking to her completely and she doesn't want to "lose me." I respected that, but told her that I would need to step back a bit and not hang out with her as much anymore...I'm a very sentimental person, and it would be way too hard for me to hang out with her as often as she wants and not be able to hold her...sappy, yes, but true.
So, it's been a few weeks since then, and she still texts me all the time. I don't start text conversations or call, she does. I don't make plans, she says how she wants to go on trips and stuff with me. Then, she was watching a movie today and texting me while watching. She was saying things like "he's so perfect to her, why can't someone love me like that," which honestly kinda hit me weirdly.
Maybe I'm overreacting to things, but I know a genuine connection when I feel one, and I know the look in someone's eyes when they're looking at someone they're interested in. I guess what I'm asking is what to do next...should I wait around for what might not come, or should I buck up and forget it? Do I keep her around as a friend even though I know that'll eat me up inside, or do I drop her completely and crush her and save myself? | Really like her, she reciprocates but doesn't want a relationship right now. Still wants to hang out as if we were dating...what do? |
t3_1npijh | relationships | I (M 18) HATE living with my mother (F 45). I want to run away. | I hate living with her. Lately I think about running away. I lived with her for roughly 4 weeks now. I hate every moment of it.
I lived with my dad the majority of my life. He had to go back to his home country because my grandfather is sick.
There's so many problems. Every time we argue she screams, slams her door, ignores me, basically acts like a 16 year old girl on her period. I can't STAND being here.
I have to live here for roughly one more month. I have one more month left of being a civilian. After that I'm shipping off to basic combat training for the Army.
What do I do? I hate living with my mother. I want to run away. I can't find a job, no one will hire someone that is leaving in roughly one month with only a high school diploma.
I only have my girlfriend and I can't live with her since her parents hate me too.
At this point I would rather sleep on the street. I wish I was sent off sooner. | my mother was never in my life. She acts like a child when there are arguments. I hate living with her but I have to for 1 more month. What do I do? |
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