id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_gaq6o | AskReddit | I have never talked to my dad, and I barely wrote to him. I'm trying to get back in touch but I don't even know what to say. | My mom raised me by herself, but my dad did paid child support and even sent me gifts over the years, til I was 18. After I turned 18,he wrote to my mom that he would only keep in contact with me if I wanted to. So for a while I did, but I didn't really know what to say then mainly because I didn't really care anymore about getting in contact with my dad since he never called me or visited me once. So my contact with him kinda died off after a round of 3 or 4 emails. However, it was about two or three years ago that my mom told me that he really cared about me but he thought it would be better if he tried to stay out of my life as much as possible, since he had married afterward and had another child. He thought this would cause me less grief, I wish he hadn't(I tell you if I could have seen him even once a year I would have been a much happier child).
I'm now 23 and getting a passport to go to Japan but I need information from him but I don't want it to sound like all I want his information. I've always wanted to get in contact with my dad, and stay in contact with him. But I kinda blew him off in my last round of emails. What should I do reddit? What should I write? | I need information from my dad, but I blew him off in my last emails. Just to find out from my mom how much he cared, and don't want to sound like an ass just asking for information |
t3_1lmfzd | relationships | I'm [18M] getting really frustrated on the topic of sex with my GF [18F] of 7 months, am I being an idiot or am I justified? | I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months, and the topic of sex with her is extremely frustrating. To make one thing clear: The fact that we aren't having sex does not frustrate me, that's completely okay. Especially since we're both still virgins, and only been together for 7 months. Rather than the lack of sex, it's the lack of any sort of progress at all. She doesn't like to talk about it, doesn't like to think about it, anything sexual she does to/for me is because she feels obligated to. That's something I definitely don't want, I want her to do these things because she loves me and she's aroused.
I think I'm a good boyfriend, if you'll allow me to toot my own horn for a moment, I'm very loving, I'm a romantic, I try to be as spontaneous as possible, and I baby/spoil her like crazy. I'm not trying to say that I think I've earned the right to have sex with her, but I DO think that I've earned at least an actual attempt from her, but I don't get that. I've tried to talk to her about it, but without fail she tries to blow it off, and without meaning to, makes me feel guilty for even trying.
Which brings me to my question: What's your opinion? Am I justified in what I'm trying to do, or am I being a fucknut who needs to back off? | Am I justified in trying to convince my girlfriend to at least try being sexual with me, or do I need to back off? |
t3_4dnkh8 | relationships | my step brother [17M] friends were harassing me [17f] and I am not sure if I should tell him or not | Hi guy's so I am in a bit of a predicament now and I kinda need some advice.
So my dad got married to this woman 4 months ago, they both work in jobs that require them to be away for long extended periods of time. So for the most part it's just the two of us with his aunt checking in every night.
We go to the same school and he has really made an effort to make me feel welcome in his, I guess our place. He offers to walk home and with me to school, ask's if I have money for lunch, cooks the food etc.
Last Saturday night he had some friends over, I came downstairs to just grab a drink of water. His friends started saying "Nick (step brother) has gone to the shop, why don't you have some fun with us, your hot, one tried to give me his number. I ignored them, and when I was in the kitchen one of them came up and slapped my ass with a rolled up news paper or something.
I pretty much made my way up stairs and locked my door.
I want to tell Nick what happened and I don't feel comfortable with his friends being here any more, but I feel like that would be over over stepping my place because he has been more than generous so far.
Should I tell him what happened, because he is home right now watching some re run of a baseball game. | My step brothers friends were harassing me and I don't feel safe when they are here. I want to tell my step brother but I feel like it is over stepping because I moved in not to long ago |
t3_1r8rfs | relationships | Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] - She's got terrible anxiety, and I'm not sure what to do. | Hey there folks. My girlfriend fantastic, wonderful, and the nearly year I've spent with her has definitely been the first healthy relationship I've ever been in. We talk, we fight but learn from fighting... we actively work on getting closer, and growing our relationship.
At least, until the last few months. Her stress levels have been building up pretty consistently, as she's going for her PhD, and prelims are in what, two weeks? That, an hour drive between us, teaching classes and a part-time job all have created a nasty situation where there's not a lot of time for us that isn't simple errands, cooking dinner, and brief time for an episode of whatever. The stress from this has gotten to her, big time.
The problem is, she's starting to get anxiety attacks, and has no idea how to handle them. She cries, panics that she's not getting anything done due to anxiety, which then leads to more stress an anxiety... vicious cycle. I've been through this myself, a few years ago, so watching her suffer and struggle is difficult, and frustrating (in that I know ways to relieve the anxiety, but she's too focused on lack of time to do them).
It's getting to the point where her stress is impacting our relationship. When she's stressed, I get frustrated/stressed, she closes down emotionally... it's generally not good. What can I do to help her, do you think? Emotional well-being is really high on my must-haves, and I know that some of this is from the situation she's in, but more of it boils down to the fact that she doesn't know how to handle stress! | Girlfriend is stressed to the nines with PhD & life demands, having spiraling anxiety attacks that affect our relationship. I've been through it before, and want to help, but have no idea how. |
t3_mny73 | relationships | The girl I'm dating has some bad family issues. What should I do? | I'm a 27 year old man. I started dating this girl (24) about two months ago. She's a wonderful person and our personalities mesh really well. The problem is (from what she's told me) that she's got major trust and abandonment issues because of her wretched family and past relationships. On top of all that she's been having some problems at work with her boss talking down to her.
So this past week I've stopped hearing from her. Usually she and I text each other all day during work days (just funny/cute stuff or making plans to hangout), but now I can hardly get her to respond. I saw her last night with some of my friends and we got to hangout a little. She told me that we are okay, but her family basically told her that they don't wanna see her on Thanksgiving and she's been really depressed and doesn't wanna talk to anyone.
I don't know how to act. I feel like she doesn't like me anymore. What should I do? | The girl I'm dating is having family issues and she's started ignoring me. She told me that we are okay, but she's having a really hard time with other stuff. What should I do? |
t3_38crtq | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] idk if this is clingy..? | So basically I met my boyfriend in college (been dating only a couple months, friends for like a year before that), now that it's summer vacation we are three hours away from each other. We haven't been talking that much this past week (I was away on vacation with my family) but I have missed him. Now that I am back, we still really haven't even been texting as much.
His family has a lake house ~30 minutes away from where I live and I know that he comes up most weekends. A week before I went away with my family, he came up and didn't say anything to me. I was hurt when I found out, and told him so. He told me that he knew I was working all weekend and he was busy as well so he didn't think we would have been able to seen each other anyways, idk it still hurt. He said if I hadn't been going away the next weekend he would have come and seen me then.
So the weekend is coming up, and would it be clingy of me to ask if he was coming up...? I know this sounds really trivial/childish but he is my first real relationship. I'm just not sure if I am being clingy/pushy about the whole thing. I understand that we most likely wont see each other every time he comes up, but with us not talking a lot the past week (since I've been back), my anxiety has been through the roof. It's also been almost a month since we've seen each other, and it's not like we don't have a way to see each other. I guess I'm just anxious because of what happened before I left with my family.... | Not sure if being clingy about wanting to ask if boyfriend is going to be in my area for the weekend. He came up a couple weeks ago and just didn't mention it to me |
t3_4pw9xi | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of just over 1 year, we are so different at so many levels. What should I do? | I really love my girlfriend. She's so sweet and pretty. She cooks nice food for me, buy cakes/presents/make food for my parents on special occasions and just a really thoughful person. She has got a proper job, is well-educated and smart. But we are just so different in so many different levels:
- We are on the completely different political side. With the recent elections coming up and also the whole Breixt thing, it's inevitable we comment and talk about these issues. We can just never agree on how the world should be. We have entirely differnet view fo the world and it's killing me. I have always wished a SO to be similar ot me in this aspect, so we can do things such as volunteering or joining a charity together, and work towards a project. But now this seems impossible
- We also have got very different interest. I guess this is somehow common right? I mean guys and girls (not being sexist here) naturally just have different interest. She doesn't like to exercise, she doesn't like adventures and never comes to parties. She's a reserved person who likes to keep to herself and watches TVs and read. As a result i always have to go on parties on my own, work out on my own and all these places I want to visit...I don't even know what to do! Maybe we need to take holidays apart as well.
- The worst thing about having entirely different political view point and interest is that we then have actually nothing much to talk about. Can't talk about the news, the world's issue, can't talk about any of our interest without the other person feeling bored. As a result, our conversation is limited to work, common friends we have (which are mostly work friends too), and I guess that's about it.
I just don't know what to do! Many of my friends say I should just leave her, and this idea has occured to me at least 5 times during teh time we are together. But I jsut feel sad and I know she will be sad too if i leave her, and the reasons above seem quite dumb to give up a otherwise great girl. What should I do? | My otherwise great girlfriend is so different to me in both our interest and the view of the world. As a results we have nothing much in common to talk about or to do together. What to do? |
t3_2d45pl | relationships | Me [26 /F] with my husband [27 M] just married. Do you think friendships with opposite sex increases the chance to cheat? | Me (26/f) and my husband (27/m) got recently married. We have a pretty active online life (forums, reddit, news websites, pages of interest and so on). My question is: how do married couples of reddit deal with new online contacts of the opposite sex. Do you look for friends? How often is considered normal? Is it normal to cut this kind of friendship? Do you think it makes easier to have emotional affairs? I would like some opinion about it since we are confused about what to think. Thank you so much in advance for reading.
Just to clarify we don't find the same difficulty to evaluate real life interactions with opposite sex, such as coworkers, new friends. We are pretty fine with that, but the online friendships is a little bit obscure topic since we talk ...talk...talk....about it and it always ends up in circles. | How do you deal with online friendship with opposite sex after marriage? Married couple having doubts about what to think about it. |
t3_1ycvd6 | relationships | I [19M] feel like my [18F] girlfriend just is not into us as she used to be, or am I just crazy? We've been dating for two years now. | Sorry to bother you all, but lately I've been feeling like my girlfriend is not as into us as she used to be.
She's been acting very different lately, she's been partying and drinking (things we never do, we both use to hate partiers) and she knows it's been bothering me. We've talked about it and I told her I'd try and not let it bother me as much, but it does. I just kind of let it go and assume it's a phase.
But now lately she's been much more quiet around me, and when I ask her about it, she says everything is okay. She doesn't add much to the conversations between her and I like she used to. We text frequently but lately she's been taking much longer to respond (strange for her because she is always on her phone) yet I see her constantly texting her friends. It's making me feel like the crazy boyfriend wanting her to respond and what not, but it's just different from how our relationship has always been.
And finally, she travels alll the time! Her family is very wealthy so they can just get up and leave whenever they feel, and while it always has made the relatioship more difficult, we've always made it work. This next 2 months she seems to be gone for a long time. Honestly I'll probably get to see her two of the weekends that are coming up. She leaves next week for a full week. I'm busy with school during the week so we planned to hangout one day the Friday before she left. Now she's saying her friends and team are throwing a party so while she still can see me, she'll be a few hours late. I feel like I really want to see her before she leaves again, but her not as much.
I don't know if I am just acting like a crazy boyfriend, over analyzing everything, or if I am right -some insight would be nice. It's hard to talk to her about it because she never says how she feels, so I can't change the things botgering her. | My girlfriend is acting much more quiet, doesn't respond nearly as much when we text, goes on vacation all the time, and we don't see eachother as much as we used to. |
t3_1t5xo4 | relationships | I'm [23F] sexy texting with my ex boyfriend [23M] and I'm re-falling for him... | We've been broken up almost a year and he's not living in the same country as me anymore. He's been overseas for about 6 months now and is coming back sometime before July next year... not sure when.
We broke up on good terms. We were together 3.5 years, so we met when we were about 18. I really feel like it didn't work out because we were so young and stupid and didn't have the opportunity to see what it was like being single.
And now, after almost a year of seeing what it's like to be single, I'm sooo damn glad I've had this chance. It's been a year of intense personal growth and massive improvements on my end, and we've both changed so much.
I'm not naive, I know parts of us are still the same and all the reasons it didn't work out might still be there...but is there any harm in sexy texting while he's overseas? It's been going on for a couple of weeks now..prior to that we hadn't talked much. I was sure it'd make me feel crappy and miss him but it didn't, I just got really turned on and have been enjoying it so much.
I feel so much like I'm talking to a person who's so different from the guy I knew.
It's really weird, and I'm really feeling like I have a crush on him.
I'm not holding out for him or anything either. I've been dating and living life. I'm not stopping myself from seeing other people. I have a date this Fri night. Wish me luck.
But yeah. Anyone with more experience and insight care to offer me any gems of wisdom or ...thoughts?
Cheers. | sexting with ex. Been broken up a year. I feel like I'm re-falling for him... |
t3_k91xh | AskReddit | Salespeople of Reddit, help me, I think I'm getting ripped off. | Since the beginning of the year I have been doing some part-time sales for a friend's screen printing company. We mostly produce things like t-shirts, signs, and uniforms for teams/businesses; but we can and will print just about anything you could possibly think of.
I have been receiving 10% commission, which seemed a bit low to me(I would've thought 15%). I was doing this almost as a favor, though, and mostly working at my convenience so I didn't think much of it. I was generally only making a couple sales a month and the extra money was just a nice bonus.
Recently, I had a customer place their second order of the year with me, to the tune of almost $6,000. When it was time to get paid, my boss/friend informed me that for repeat customers, commission is 5%.
I thought that seemed ludicrous, but I took a grin and bear it attitude, wanting to find out all I could about typical commission rates before I confronted him about it. I've known this guy for years and wouldn't think he'd be the type of person to take advantage of me, but it sure seems like that's what he's doing.
What are typical commission rates for a new salesperson? I'll take answers from people in any sales field, but would love to hear from someone with experience in the same industry. | Doing part-time sales for a friend's screen printing business. I'm getting 10% commission and he recently told me I get 5% on sales from repeat customers. Am I getting ripped off? What should I be making? |
t3_2j8j6h | relationships | Should I [22 M] move in with my girlfriend [21F] for two months as I join her ESL program in Colombia? | Been a lurker here forever and have found tons of useful advice but I'm in a bit of a specific crossroads right now and would really appreciate some outside input.
My girlfriend and I both live in San Francisco but for the past 3 months she's been living in Bogota teaching English at the local schools while I stayed with my parents at home raising money for college next semester. I just came to visit her two weeks ago and after some incredible experiences traveling the coast the opportunity came up to join her program until its end in Christmas. If I take it it means I'll move in with her! Sound peachy right?
Well I don't know how to weigh all the pros and cons of it, on the one hand this seems like a wonderful opportunity to expand my horizons (I've lived in many places abroad before but never South America) but it also means I'll be forfeiting making good money back home in an attempt to avoid student debt (3 months of good work, not THAT insignificant).
That being said during my "vacation time" here some issues in our relationship have begun surfaced! Which I think is always a good thing as I don't like it when people pretend that all things are sunny and wonderful when they might not be. At the moment we have significantly different sex drives, hers being a lot lower. Its something that she herself is frustrated with, as she tells me she WANTS to have sex and WANTS to move past her low libido issues (something which stems from the stress of expectation of having me here for a couple days, as well as from the chronic stomach pain she often experiences). She and I are also keenly aware of the importance of establishing space as its very easy to spend too much time together and fray an otherwise wonderful relationship with a sense of cabin fever.
I'm not sure what to do, both options make sense in their own ways. And friggin adore and love this girl, shes beautiful in so many ways and so supportive. I just don't know exactly what to do.
Can you help me Reddit? | Opportunity to move in with gf in Colombia for two months to teach. Don't know what it'll do to our relationship, whether its a good life move, or financially responsible! Help! |
t3_13owa8 | AskReddit | This year, a friend helped me change my life for the better. A few years ago, I said the wrong thing to her and she hasn't said a word to me since. How's 2012 been for you so far? | I won't be giving the full story because I would have to give out information about her I promised I would never tell. She may hate me but I keep my promises. All I can say is a simple conversation ended because I chose my words poorly. She's been upset with me before but never like this. In 4 days she hasn't said anything to me. Not even "fuck you". So now I have one less friend.
She helped put my life in perspective. She's better than me at everything people respected me for and put me to shame in just about every single way. It was a kick in the ass I needed to wake up and get back into the world. I appreciate what she did even though she's in no mood to give a shit what I have to say about anything.
So, basically, I was inspired by a friend who was quickly becoming a very important person to me and she's out of my life all in the same year. This year was a hell of a lot of hard work reinventing myself and the fruits of this labor so far is losing a friend. You can tell this isn't my favorite year so far but it was pivotal and I will remember it just like this for the rest of my life.
Hopefully this has been a better year for all of you than it has for me. | I upset a very good person because I can't always say the right things. The most important year of my life so far is ending in disappointment. |
t3_3j731o | relationships | Should I (22M) even bother going for it (22F)? | I've been getting closer and closer with a girl I know. Dates and constant phone calls and what not. We're at that sort of nebulous, undefined stage before a relationship where you wouldn't say you're each other's SO but wouldn't fool around with anyone else because you can see where the relationship is headed.
The problem is, I'm moving to New York and she's moving to Austin in a week. I'm crazy about this girl but what's the point. We'd get to see each other once every month or so tops. How can you start off a relationship long-distance (especially one where you don't even know when you can reunite)? I don't want to ever get to the point where I feel like we're holding each other back in our new lives/cities because we have some long distance obligation to one another.
Is it even worth the effort to sit down with her and talk about having a serious relationship (is a serious relationship even possible given our circumstances)? Or would I be better off letting this die down on its own? | Crazy about a girl I've been seeing for a while but we won't be able to see each other soon. Is it even worth it trying to pursue a relationship? |
t3_3mruca | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] a few weeks, uncertain about what she's inferring...? | I'm a Junior high school and have currently been dating this really awesome Senior on my crew rowing team that also goes to my school. We just clicked very quickly, and she is a really smart, nice, attractive, etc. I found out she really liked me, so we began to hang out more and soon began to like her. We both knew we had some chemistry so I asked her to Homecoming last week (HUGE deal at my school) and she said yes.
I see her pretty frequently and we hang out a lot during school. Last weekend on a crew trip for a regatta (rowing race), we spent a lot of time alone and just talked and held hands which was great.
Anyway, homecoming is this weekend, and I feel like recently she has become different, or at least more uptight I guess. Just to be clear, I have a lot trouble gauging other peoples' expressions and emotions sometimes. Like this yesterday, we were making plans for Homecoming and she was insistent that we match, which is fine, but she seemed almost desperate which is kind of weird for her because she's usually so chill.
Also, while on the plane home, we were trying to watch a movie and maybe two or three times she said, "Oh, too bad it's so loud! Maybe we should watch this at my house sometime." Again, fine, but she seemed a little over the top about it, like she kept mentioning it over and over. Finally, this week is Spirit Week and tomorrow is Classy/Preppy Day and we're just casually chatting and she goes, "I have nothing that's preppy, but since you do, can I borrow one of your shirts?" which is really awkward 'cause I feel like she's maybe implying something and I don't get it or what... | she's been acting a little strange lately. Am I missing something? Like I'm okay with moving more quickly in our relationship, but should I ask to slow down? What's going on? |
t3_y6qbb | relationships | Help, how do I remedy things? | I'm going out of my mind here! Me and my boyfriend were dating for 2 years (him 22, me 22F) and have just recently decided to take things slowly because we keep having silly fights and I've grown too dependent on him.
Last Friday I got way too drunk and he caught me trying to read his texts.. I guess I let the fear of losing him overwhelm me and I wanted to see if there was more of reason behind our breakup (which there wasn't... I know it was disrespective of me and I'd never do such a thing again). He called me a psycho bitch, we resolved things but I had a huge drunken cry to him about how I wanted to be his girlfriend etc etc. | I want him, but our relationship has gotten so messy. We both love each other dearly, but I feel so choked up. Is it worth carrying on when things get like this? And if so, how do I do this! |
t3_wr7rw | personalfinance | Car loans, insurance, and rent, while making little cash? [x-post from r/Frugal) | Hey guys going to try and keep this short so here goes.
* My mom covered 6 months rent in my first apartment because she felt guilty for kicking me out when she moved in with my soon to be step dad
* She took the car I drove because I wasn't working enough to afford it
* I got a bike and it's been awesome, but now I'm needing to move into a cheaper place but all the cheap places are outside of riding distance.
* I've been looking at getting a car loan for a car through USAA (pre-approved for $3500, so I figured $3000 for the car and $500 for titles plates and that jazz)
* I was thinking about getting a delivery driver job to work and pay off the car but I don't know about the insurance and just wear and tear on the car.
* I'm already about $700 in the hole, $356 from a credit card bill that I almost had paid off but had to use to fix my bike. As well as about $425 in court fees for some legal issues I got taken care of early this month.
* I make $8.25 working 20-30 hours a week
* I'm still not sure if my roommate is going to want to live with me after this lease is up, and if not it's $400+ just for a studio where I live. | I make little money and need to be able to afford a car and rent and insurance but have $700 in debt and dont know my living situation after next month. |
t3_3prek8 | relationships | I [21M] have a crush on someone [~20F] in my club and I have no idea if it's okay to ask her out or how to ask her out for that matter. | First off some background. I have been part of club (for a big engineering design competition. $100k yearly budget big) on campus for the past 3 years and this year, I am in charge of said club. I spend about 20-30 hours a week working on club stuff. The club is pretty corporate in structure (the ladder would be Me -> her sub-system manager (also my apartment-mate) -> her). First year members aren't officaly on the team until proving their salt and spending about 6-12 months on the team. For the past couple of years, there has been a trend that the person in my position enters a relationship with a first year member. Has a lot of sex with said person, and then the relationship blows up in a very public way with the new member getting the short end of the stick.
This year, a transfer student has joined and since meeting her at our initial team meeting, I have had a crush on her. I am confused about whether it's okay for me to ask her out. I really like her, but the club makes it add a lot of complexity. I don't want her to feel intimidated nor obligated that she needs to say yes (she may feel that rejecting me may not let her join the team cause the year long recruitment process). I also don't want her to feel awkward about it later when working on club activites together. Furthermore, I don't want to lose all credibilty on the team by seemingly continuing a very toxic trend on the team in regards to people in my position entering relationships.
If it is a good idea, how do I go about asking out a girl, I mainly have a working relationship with? I'm meeeting one on one with her later in the week, to teach her how to use some software package if that helps. I've only really asked out one person, and she was already a good friend by that point so I'm pretty clueless here :( . | Have a crush on essentially a coworker/subordinate and have no idea if it is okay to ask her out or how to. |
t3_3ap0up | relationships | Me [28/F] Getting Serious with a[33 M] after a few months, fatherhood warning signs? | Hey all-
I just need a sanity check here. I have been dating a guy for a little while, and I'm finding something a little odd, and I want to know if it's just me or what.
I've been dating this guy for a few months now. He is divorced and has a son who is 8. He sees his son every other weekend. I've met his son, and he's a great, cute, smart, wonderful kid.
Thing is, he (the dad) doesn't really seem so into dadhood. Mostly when his son comes over for the wekeend, he sits and plays video games for most of the day. If you looked at his (dad's) Facebook page, he doesn't have a single picture of his kid anywhere. No pictures of his son around his place either. And his kid doesn't have any space at his apartment- he shares his dad's bed, for example- so if you came over to his place, you would literally never know he had a kid.
How weird is this? I kind of felt like he was maybe feeling guilty for the divorce/not being in his kid's life more, or maybe he is just really private about it, but now I'm kind of wondering... is this odd? It seems like he loves his kid- but he is just not into being a dad at all and doesn't do normal dad stuff.
I don't know if this seems like a warning sign to anyone else. I've noticed he can be super self-centered in some ways, and the kid thing just kind of seems to be more of that. Or maybe some divorced dads just do this?
What're your thoughts? | my SO has a kid, but no pics of him, space for him, or activities with him. Warning sign, or just a private guy who isn't into being adad? |
t3_2byb6y | relationships | (Small) UPDATE: Taking the bar this week. Is he (26m) being selfish or am I (27f) overreacting? | [Last post here.](
Talked to my boyfriend briefly the evening of the day I posted, only about the chores and how I need him to be here for me especially right now. He apologized and said he knows he hasn't been doing his share of the work and he needs to pick up slack and he promised he would try. We'll see what happens but I'm not thinking about it for the next three days. He did a ton of chores though before he left to see his dad.
He also came back (last night) Sunday night instead of coming back today. Unfortunately, he told me just now that he won't be here after 8 tonight because he has band practice. He asked if that was ok. I said not really but I wasn't going to tell him not to go. They've had to reschedule a few times, and one of them was for something he and I did together so I can't really complain. He is usually back by 11 but since I have to get up so early I will already be asleep. It's a little upsetting to me since it's gonna be the most anxious part of the day for me and I'll probably have some trouble getting to sleep, but I also don't expect him to sit around for two days waiting around for me, I guess. | Boyfriend promised to pick up slack. Came back Sunday night/last night but is going to band practice tonight so I'll be trying to go to bed alone. I guess I'll take it? |
t3_lepf7 | AskReddit | Reddit, Can You Help Me Not Wreck My First One-year Anniversary? | Hi, I am a long-time lurker (you'll see my only comment is when Bruce Campbell did his AMA), but I've seen a lot of really helpful asks on here and figured it was worth a try. I have a great boyfriend, the first great one in a long line of awful ones, and in two months we'll have been together for a year, which is a first for me. And while we're going to do something special, I also wanted to get him something, because he really means a lot to me. At first I was going to make him a comic book because that is what I do, but I did it for Valentines Day and it just feels kind of cheap because I know he'll spend money on me. So I found this really funny finger puppet toy thing of Omar from The Wire (which he loves) and a Tim Tebow action figure (who he adores to a mildly disturbing level). So I was thinking I'd give him those and the comic. But is that too much? Is that weird? Am I overdoing it? I don't want to weird him out but I also want to show him that I care and know what he likes and stuff. Overthinking it? What do you guys think? | I am an awkward woman who overthinks everything and is worried about getting her boyfriend too much or too little for their one-year anniversary. |
t3_1vmpzu | needadvice | Lost my job due to mental health/stress issues - advice on finding a new job? | So, for as long as I've been alive, I've suffered from depression and anxiety. About a year ago, I decided enough was enough, and began taking medication (Cipralex) and seeing a therapist.
Now, prior to this, I had a few financial issues (my salary was cut, I was run over, house flooded, mother got cancer, then lost her job) - okay, a LOT of financial issues - that left me with a sizeable debt load (now around $40,000 with interest). This necessitated having a second job on top of my high- demand career (accounting). I have been working upwards of 60 hours a week for the past few years.
The issue developed where my medication works, but if I do not get 8-10 hours of sleep a night, I experience a thick 'brain fog' and terrible short-term memory issues. Of course, working from 7 AM - 10 PM most days, I rarely if ever get enough sleep. The consequence has been that I've lost my day job due to poor performance, and even my hours at my second job have been cut back. I'm scared as to how to explain this to a new employer, terrified that I'll have to declare bankruptcy, and even more scared that my meagre savings will dry up soon and I'll be homeless. I want to work, and I'm usually good at what I do - where do I go from here? | lost job due to mental health/stress issues; looking for advice on getting a new job/financial options that will let me pay off my debts. Help! |
t3_1fk465 | relationships | I(19) have been having doubts about almost 3yr relationship with gf(19). | So there's a girl I met in 8th grade. We became good friends for many years until I move away in 11th grade and we, ironically, start dating. Now things have been just peachy and we've been together for just shy of 3 years (more like 2 3/4) and in the last 2 or 3 months I've been having doubts about our relationship. I feel like my experiences during my first year at the university have changed me as a person and I want to spread my wings and experience all life has to offer without long-term commitment but I feel held back by this girl. I still care for her but I don't know if I love her as much as I used to and, to make matters worse, I've met other girls. Now, with my girlfriend, she was the first person to ever show romantic/sexual interest in me and that's partially why I fell so deeply in love with her in the first place but I've since made myself a more attractive individual and have been noticing more men and women noticing me. I'd never cheat on her or on anyone (unless they did it first) but I really want to experience life outside of commitment.
Am I being selfish? What should I do? Should I break it off? Or maybe call a break? | Been in 3yr relationship with first girl to show interest in me, now I don't know what to do because I still care for her but I also wanna spread my metaphorical wings and fly. |
t3_3egcmk | relationships | My [24M] ex [21F] just texted me... should I ignore if i'm open to reconciliation | If you want to read the backstory on the breakup, its [Here] Long story short, gf dumped me 4 days ago and I went no contact. Last night while I was studying for my last final she texted me this:
"Good luck on your finals/I hope you have an awesome time in Yosemite (I would have waited until tomorrow but based on the snachat countdown i'll be on a plane)"
I have not responded. I know that if she really wanted to reconcile, that she would make more of an effort. I guess my question is: **Should I keep NC if I want to reconcile later? (If you read the background, she is open to reconciling in 2 months). She is also coming to grab her stuff some time in mid August.**
I refuse to sacrifice my progress to help reduce her guilt, or make her feel validated, or that im always going to be here waiting. However, I am trying to keep an open mind to reconciliation when we're in the same city again... would ignoring her send the wrong signal?
If she really wants to be together, would me ignoring the text not phase her? Would she send another text later? I don't want to play her game but I don't want to give her the idea that i'm closed off to reconciliation. | ex sent me breadcrumbs and I don't know whether to ignore or reply since we're both open to reconciliation in two months. |
t3_4is6w6 | relationships | if my(21m) girfriend(24f) isnt clingy and attached to me does that mean she doesnt love me? | So I was wondering something... Being with my girlfriend is great but very confusing. I am very used to women being clingy and attached to me and dying for my attention but the girl I am with now is the complete opposite. I love the space but I don't know how to react to it to keep our relationship healthy so I freak out a lot.
She's a sweet girl but she isn't really clingy or concerned with anything I do with myself or the decisions I make, she also never asks me for anything and she isn't really open with her emotions all of the time. When I ask her why she says it's because she trust me and that she knows my intentions are good and that I am a good man. Which is pretty new to me because I've never been in a relationship
like this.
I just wanted to know is it true that when a woman isn't crazy over you and doing whatever it takes to be apart of your life that she isn't really serious about the relationship? | is it true that when a woman isn't clingy and attached to you that she isn't really serious about the relationship. |
t3_34oczk | relationships | Me [25 M] went on an awesome date with a [27 F]. Not sure how to proceed/am I overreacting? | I have been on many dates these past few years whether it be through online or a mutual friend setting us up. A co-worker mentioned that she has a friend that she could set me up with. Fast forward a few days and the date day comes. We have a good time mini golfing and we end up kissing a few times. The date even goes further and we end up grabbing some food which was not part of the original plan. She tells me before we part ways that she would like to hang out again this weekend (I told her I could not because of work).
When I get home, she texts me first about 2 hours later saying thank you for the fun day and it was really nice meeting me. She wants to know when we can get together again and she asks me what my schedule looks like the following week. I tell her what days I am available and then nothing. No response from her. It's been over 24 hours.
Like I said, I have come across this situation before but throughout all the dates I have had, I feel like we actually click.
I don't want to mess this up by texting her again and coming off too clingy. What do I do? Should I text a follow asking if she is still interested? Do I ask her friend that set me up with her what the deal is? The last thing I want to do is ruin something just because she may have been too busy to get back to me. | Girl and I have an awesome first date, kissing involved. She wants to see me again but when I tell her when I am available she goes silent for over 24 hours. How do I proceed? |
t3_1bgu9u | relationships | Is 'just being with me should make you happy' a selfish thing to say? My ex (22f) said this to me (22m) | We dated for two years and I just felt like I was the only person putting in the effort, so I ended things about a month ago. A few weeks after she agreed to see me and talk for a little while. It felt good to get some things off my chest and have one neutral interaction.
But she said something that really bothered me during our talk. She said 'I thought just being with me was enough' [to make you happy]. I just don't know if I am in the right to feel like that is a very selfish thing to say. Sure, she was a sweet girl, and I loved her to death, but don't I deserve to be with someone who is going to put the same amount of effort into the relationship? | I feel like saying 'just being with me' [should make you happy] is a very selfish and egotistical thing to say. Am I wrong? |
t3_3b5af4 | tifu | TIFU by forwarding a phone. | I've recently taken on a greater leadership role where I work and have been taking on more responsibility. Today our one sales guy was off on a training course and to maintain productivity I forwarded his office phone to my mobile phone.
After many calls perfectly I had one that I needed his input on so I sent him a text, "Hey give me a call on your next break, thanks."
A few minutes go by and I'm at my desk responding to an email and my mobile rings. I grab it and answer, it's a robot talking to me. It rattles off a phone number and and proceeds to tell me it's got a text to land line message for me. Eagerly I wait as it squeaks out it's choppy robot message... "Hey give me a call on your next break, thanks." | I forwarded an office phone to my mobile and then texted that same phone and and was confused why I got a text to land line on my mobile up until it read the text to me. |
t3_hhhn8 | AskReddit | Reddit, There are 2/3 Middle-Eastern guys accosting us attempting to buy my dad's old car he has up for sale. I'm alone in the house, and they keep ringing the doorbell. What should I/we do? | My dad recently bought a new (second hand) car to replace his 151,000, 3 year old Alfa Romeo. He's selling the Alfa- starting today, and some guys- of middle-eastern descent (Possibly Indian) took an interest in it, having noticed it. However, My didn't trust them from right off the bat- they seemed dodgy, willing to pay cash for it and take it right there and then- complete with a private reg, and various pieces broken, such as the passenger door handle. Apparently they immediately sped down our road in it when taking it for a test run.
Eventually my dad just turned round and told them he was unwilling to do business with them, and they left. However, within a few minutes they reappeared and attempted to buy it off us there and then for £1700 in cash- £500 below what my dad wants. Again my dad (politely) refused, but one of them wanted to get my dad to speak to his cousin or something- which again, was refused.
Once they'd finally left, my parents took the car to the small workshop we rent out a few miles from here, which is where they are now.
Meanwhile, the dodgy dealers drove to the end of our road, sat there for a few minutes.
They are now sat outside, waiting for my parents' return- they have no idea I'm here, AFAIK. | dad selling car, dodgy Middle-eastern guys won't go away after being told repeatedly they won't have the car. |
t3_450c7r | relationships | [21 F] with my hookup [28 M] wondering if there is any meaning behind his lack of desire to have sex in his bedroom. | Most guys I've dated/slept with prefer to have sex in bed. Normally if foreplay begins on the couch, he'll say "do you want to go to my room?" and we'd go from there. With some guys I found it kind of annoying -- why did we always have to be in bed? Well the last couple of guys I've been with have been a little bit different and I'm wondering if I'm reading too much into their behavior.
My last regular hookup (25M) would initially only have sex on the couch or kitchen, but never in bed until maybe the fifth time I was with him. At first it seemed like he didn't want me into his room, so when he finally had me in I felt like I had been upgraded or like he finally thought I was worthy to be in his room. I'm not seeing him anymore so I couldn't ask him if that was really his logic or not.
Now I've been seeing a different guy for about two months (28M). The first few times I slept with him, we went to his room. When he suggested we hook up somewhere different from his room I was totally cool with it the first time. But now it seems like he never wants to go in his room anymore and I'm wondering if I should take it personally. Maybe he doesn't like the way his bed smells if I've been in it? Maybe he's seeing another girl and she's the "bedroom girl" so he will only have sex with me on the couch. Maybe I'm too boring so he likes to be able to watch TV in the background. Maybe he likes the couch because it's harder to cuddle or he doesn't want the pillowtalk to be too intense because we're just hooking up.
After the last guy, I can't help but feel like I've been demoted from a bed lay to a couch lay. Am I overthinking this? Perhaps he just wants to do some different things. I feel kind of awkward making suggestions as we are usually at his place and I don't know if he doesn't want to have sex in certain places in his house. | Is there any significance to if a guy prefers to have sex with a girl in his bedroom versus on the couch/ in a different room? Does he like a girl that he lets in his bedroom more? |
t3_4j6c0h | relationships | Me [28 M] with my fiancee [25 F] 7 years, fight over seeing my family | We have always had a lot of arguments because of my family. I grew up in a very close nit family and she grew up in a more complicated family situation. I have stopped a lot of family events, etc because of her. At first only a few but now I rarely see my parents (maybe once per 2 months, they live 10min away). She hates it when I call them or chat with them, so I don't.
Lately we have started arguing about it more aggressively. I feel that my parents are in a very bad spot as they are afraid to talk with me since I always reject them. It kills me inside because I have to put on this act yet I do want to see them.
Now we are at a breaking point, I told her that I want to decide how I talk with them and that I am allowed to see them when I want to (and I'm talking maybe 2 times a month, I think that it's not that much?). She feels that I prefer them over her. What do I do? My family doesn't force me to break up with her yet she forces me to stop talking to them. I love her very dearly and it hurts me so much. She has also said that she understands that this is unfair for me but she cannot do anything about how she feels. | GF stops me from communicating with family. Family doesn't understand why I don't want to see them, even though I really do. |
t3_2ouknr | relationships | I [19M] don't show emotions and don't tell her my thoughts with my girlfriend [18F] | I have been seeing this girl for about just over a month now and been dating her for a few weeks. I'm not very good with people and emotions isn't my strong point were as her's is. I usually spend almost all of my time time if I was single like her so It's hard for me to open up.
I don't want to bring her down which is another reason I don't show emotions except being happy. I can't seem to open up as well usually I would over-think everything and anything but I just enjoy being with her and don't spend time thinking about other things around her. I didn't think it was too bad until she said she's scared in case I never love her. | Can't open up and show emotions to girlfriend. How do I open up more and tell her what I'm thinking and show more emotions. |
t3_4uqja4 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ldr girlfriend [20 f] of 5 months, tells me when she's horny, but leaves me with nothing afterwards. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 5 months now. We met online and we live several hours away from each other. It's a pretty good relationship, we enjoy each other's company, play games together and talk literally all day, every day. It's probably the best relationship I've had since high school
That being said, things aren't perfect and one particular hangup I'm having is this: We are online so we don't get to see each other in person, That being said we have done sexting and other things in the past. The problem is she likes to tease me. That's fine I don't mind being teased but she just leaves me hanging. It's been happening just lately and I'm not really sure why.
She'll text me and say that she's horny and thinking about me, and she's probably going to break out her rabbit, and I get all turned on and want to join her, or ask her to send me pictures but she just refuses. It doesn't really hurt so much as I'd rather her just not tell me at all if she doesn't feel like indulging me, and it would be different if it was just once in awhile but it's been every single time she's been turned on lately.
I don't really know how to approach her about this without upsetting her or pissing her off, but it's really been bothering me. I really like her a lot, I would say I love her, but this is kind of a problem for me. | Girlfriend gets horny and tells me, but when asked for pictures or videos she refuses. I'd rather her just stop if she doesn't like doing that. |
t3_2k39n3 | relationships | Need some comforting advice or brutal honesty! | So I(m26) just broke up with my SO(f20) after being together for a year. When I met her she was just some 19 year old chick who I thought was hot looking and I didn't really have any desire to spark up a relationship, but after hanging out with her for about two weeks I couldn't help but realize what a cool chick she was and then I was hooked. Sadly, I am 26 years old and couldn't help but think that all I would be doing to her was holding her back from experiencing all the fun things you do when you're that age. Granted I was not perfect for the year we dated and I know I could have been better, but I always felt like she was gonna wisen up sooner or later and I would be the one who got hurt.
I guess I just need to let it out and talk about it. Cause right now the demons of regret are hitting me hard. Especially in the morning time cause she used to kiss me goodbye every morning before I left for work. :/ | Pretty much just want some advice on how to deal. Seems like every time I break up with a chick I feel as though I may have made a mistake. |
t3_vn3p1 | relationships | How much contact with an ex is acceptable? | 28/m and she is 26/f. Dating 5 months.
She was married for 7 years and is currently separated and waiting for her divorce to be finalized. No kids.
We love each other and everything in the relationship is great except she still communicates regularly with her ex, who wants to work things out. She has a really hard time feeling guilty about leaving her ex and doesn't want to cause him more pain than is necessary, and so she feels like still talking to him and not making it clearer that it's over will somehow make the situation better. But at some point I feel like continued contact causes more pain to everyone involved than just severing all ties and moving on.
Specifically, she still talks to her ex via facebook and phone on a daily basis. She is always very secretive about the times she is texting or calling him because I think she feels awkward about it and how it makes me feel, but she still does it anyway.
I don't want to shade this question with more specifics of our situation, but what level of contact do you think is acceptable with an ex that still wants to have a relationship with the person you're seeing? Would you tell her that she needs to stop calling and texting with him? Block him from facebook?
I guess I just need to communicate better how uncomfortable it makes me feel, but I've brought it up before and it's like she is more worried about hurting him than how I feel about it. I don't want to come off as controlling/insecure/inconsiderate, but at the same time I feel like there isn't anyone in the world who would be OK with this. I guess at some level I wish she understood this herself without me having to bring it up and make it a big deal, but I don't think it's going to stop unless I make it clear that it's a problem that only has one solution. Am I wrong here? Should I butt out and let her deal with him however she wants? I think it would maybe be fine to contact him in the future after he's gotten over her, but until then I don't see how anything good can come of continued contact other than soothing her guilt, which is just a selfish reason. | GF still talks and texts with her ex who wants to get back together with her. It makes me really uncomfortable. What is OK to expect from her regarding communication with her ex? |
t3_iwbup | AskReddit | Someone with my same name has been handing out *my* gmail address as their own. What should I do? | I've had the same gmail account since it started. It's my [email protected] In the last two years or so, some dude in Texas with my same first and last name has been using (on accident, I assume) my email address in some of his correspondence. Or, rather, he's been using [email protected], which gmail parses as the same (gmail ignores any periods in the email address).
I've figured out who it is, and have repeatedly messaged him on facebook and through his other email account to please correct his address book and stop handing out my address.
However, I still frequently get email that is clearly important and addressed to this other fellow. I always reply back to whomever sent the email, tell them that I'm not who they are trying to reach, and delete the message. I also ask them to kindly remove me from their address book.
Today I received a picture of boobs from a mobile phone to this guy. It's not the first lewd picture I've received. Last year I got one of some chick's nether regions. Last time, I just deleted the message. Today, I replied back with "Nice boobs, but I think you meant to send this email to someone else."
Is there anything else I can do? I'm getting really tired of getting his emails, even though it's not every day. I've obviously changed my password to make sure he's not using my account or anything like that. I think it's an honest mistake, but I feel like he should have corrected it by now. I've started marking repeat offenders with the spam tag, but I still get messages, as they are legit emails and aren't really spammers. | Someone with my same first name and last name has been handing out my email address as his. Today I got picture of boobs, but I also get lots of business-related stuff. What can I do? |
t3_4d1o4o | relationships | Me [21 M] with my partner [20 F] 1 year, i dont know if i should give up | well me and my girlfriend have been going out for ages now, and i really do love her lots .. and she loves me lots sometimes, but she has major anxiety issues and it gets her a little down sometimes and she gets mad at me and tells me she wants to leave me in those periodswhich i can handle, but its the fact that she deletes all her messages she sends to other so i cant see them and hides her snapchat from me
then she freaks if i get onto her snapchat .... she has told me that she has sent a nude to another guy and that she sometimes wants to leave me ..... normally i spose i would have just left her straight away cause she cheated and she might again.. or probably will.. but i really do love her so much :( ... she's an amazing girl and we have planned to live together soon... i actually cant put into words how much i want her even though she has hurt me and cheated .... and also the fact that i am pretty lonely withought her and dont know how ill find another girl like her again .... i just dont know if i should leave her or stay
when things are going good they are so good and its the best times of my life, but i just dont know if its worth it, or i dont know if ill find someone else like her | She has sent nudes or innapropriate messages , but she sill loves me and i her.. should i stay |
t3_1dt0qz | relationships | I [20m] am having issues with a recent situation involving my girlfriends [17f] ex. | Weve been dating for 3 months. Her ex is questionable in terms of what his intentions are. He flirts with her, hints things, and even sent her a suggestive snapchat, but shes certain he doesnt want to try anything (despite him asking a mutual friend of theirs about me then saying our relationship doesnt mean much, and me being convinced hes up to something). So saturday we had plans to hang out. It then turns out some friends are drinking at her exs apartment and she wants to go there. So she says shell visit me for a bit then go there...
While she was there i said that i should go too, we had plans to see each other. Shes very adamant about me not going and it became an argument. Her reasoning being that it might be "weird" and "awkward" which i think are pretty shitty excuses. I told her that me going there isnt the only solution to the problem and we were supposed to see each other so just stay here if youre that uncomfortable with me going. it ends with her walking out the door to go there. As soon as she gets there like a lightswitch she says that i was right and shes sorry and she should have stayed. I feel like its all bullshit though and she got what she wanted now she just wants to make me not mad at her.
Today i brought up how her hiding her ex from me isnt okay to do and causes trust concerns, but she keeps saying she doesnt want to be with both of us because it might be weird, pretty much showing she really did only want to make me forgive her and didnt mean what she was saying. How do i handle this because im definitely not okay with her going drinking with her ex when im barred from going. | girlfriend says i cant go when shes drinking with her ex. is this sketchy and a reason for concerns with trust? |
t3_22ccfp | relationships | Me (22M) used to date my ex (23F) for 8 months. She broke up with me, what to do. | I used to know this girl for three years. She was one of my best friends and Even though I had feelings for her, I kept my distance. Two years ago we started dating. I did lots of mistakes towards her ( no cheating! ). By mistakes i didnt give her the attention she needed and sometimes i choosed video games over her. I am not proud of this and I know that the things I did is so wrong and I never meant to hurt her. Anyway, after 8 months of dating she wanted to break up and now we are separate for almost a year. All this time I tried my best to keep her around and show that i really care for her but everytime we get close we end up arguing about the mistakes that I did and I cant prove that I am aware of all the things I did and I am trying to change to be a better men for her. Right know I feel so exhausted and have no idea what to do. | I dated my best friend for 8 months. I did shit loads of mistakes and she end up breaking up with me. How to make it up to her? |
t3_2cw6mf | relationships | Me [21 F] with my b/f [22 M] 2 years, he is threatening to breakup over me wanting to be cam girl | As the title say's I have inquired into and been offered a job working for as a cam girl. The money I could make in two weeks would be almost double what I make in a month right now at my regular job.
I would work from my apartment, I would never meet with anyone or be in contact with anyone of the viewers.
My boyfriend has told me that if I go through with this that he is going to break up with me. I don't know if he is bluffing or not.
I do love him but I really don't like the fact that he is trying to manipulate and control me.
I was honest with him, I didn't have to be he would never have known I was doing this if I didn't tell him, and I am NOT cheating on him. I will never be with another guy or even a girl for that matter, it would just be me and my computer.
We have been together now as a couple for 2 years and honestly I have zero desire to get out of this relationship. This isn't some fantasy for me, this is just purely about cash. The job field is slim at best and I have been doing temp work and even waiting tables to money.
This will secure my finances at least for 2-3 years and I could still work other jobs to help pay for things.
But now I guess I have to make the choice between him and this.
Can anyone help me think of anyway to convince him that this isn't cheating and that by doing this it doesn't lower my value as a person.
He actually said that to me if you can believe it. We have talked several times about this topic and one time he said that me taking off my cloths and exhibiting myself to strangers lowered my value to him in his eyes.
I'm tempted to tell give him an ultimatum in return. If I don't do this for him he better put a ring on my finger and secure my finances.
I'm only half joking about that.
Either way this is frustrating as hell.
Advice, please. | Opportunity to make fat cash as a cam girl. B/F says if I do he is gone. Need money and need way to convince him this isn't cheating nor does it lower my value as a person. |
t3_4cdtvw | relationships | Me [22F] general issue with relationships in general. | So to start off I'm a 22 year old Mexican female. I was born and bred in the US.
I was never in a relationship in high school. I recently started dated after high school. I try to talk to guys, they all call me cute. But they immediately want sex. One date and they immediately want to get in my pants. Some relationships were that, I guess I'm easily coerced into that mess. It sucks.
I was recently talking to a guy, I mentioned I didn't want sex, we were supposed to go on a date tomorrow, he texted me saying "I'm over this, delete my number."
My first relationship, guy dumped me because I was boring. I try to be interesting, but everyone says I'm boring.
Does anyone know how I can fix myself? This sucks. I'm 22, guys for some reason think I'm willing to put out, when I do it just feels disgusting to me. When I don't, they talk junk to me and block me.
I've tried dating guys with similar interest and even then they think I'm more boring. I just want to cry. I was interested in every guy I guess, they all call me boring. | I'm boring according to a lot guys. To the point they ask me to delete their number. They all think I put out, I don't. Is there a way I can fix myself? |
t3_3efwd2 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my LDR[22 F] in limbo | So i met my girlfriend from living in the same apartment and we lived together for over a year. I have just moved for work an hour away and she is still at school. We had this amazing connection but she started to get distant and never communicated much. I later found out that she had strong feeling for some new guy she met and was confused because she thought she would never have feelings for anyone else. Found out she cheated on me when she was drunk and now she wants some space but says who knows everything can be back in a couple months. She still says she loves me so much and wants to get married but she wants to enjoy her 20s. I have been stuck in this limbo for a month now she says we arent broken up just not together. I dont know what to make of it. She still wants to keep in touch and be best friends for now. She was my first serious girlfriend but she has been with a lot of guys before me. I know i need to move on but its difficult because she still talks about future plans like vacations and visiting. She also rationalized hooking up with this guy because she assumed i was seeing a girl but she was just a friend of mine and i found out she cheated alot in her past relationships also. I am not sure what to do. | Wants a future with me but also wants space to not have to feel pressured to miss out on life. She wants both worlds. |
t3_sa9bo | relationships | Insecure from past history and SO's ties to former 'partners'. Need help to get over insecurities. | I have been dating my SO for about 5 months now. We had dated previously for 6 months, 3 years previously. During those three years we remained friends and occassionally slept together - we also saw other people however in honesty I never stopped loving him.
He left the country to travel for about 6 months and it was when he returned we got back together. He said the only person he missed while he was gone was me.
My worry is that I have some fairly insecurities as a result of the period of time when we weren't together and that they may be hurting our current relationship.
The primary relating to his friendship wtih two women he has slept with frequently when we weren't together. He doesn't have a great deal of friends but it irritates me that of all of them he chooses to message and see with reasonable frequency these two. I have asked if I can join next time he goes and sees one of them - but he has refused citing he would feel awkward. It is entirely possible I have brought that on myself as my past confusion over their continued contact has caused serious arguments and tears (often when drinking). I want to clarify that I do trust him completely in terms of not cheating, but he is flirtatious and I know that he calls them beautiful etc.
But I am kind of at wits end as to what to do. I hate feeling this insecure and I don't know how to talk about it or fix it. Does anyone have some strategy I could use to reduce my insecurities? How to do I move on and enjoy the relationship we have now. | Insecure from past history and SO's ties to former 'partners'. Need help to get over insecurities. |
t3_2aspqn | relationships | Me [20 F] with my sister[22 F] -- My sister stood me up (again) and I feel like I'm not allowed to be mad at her. | Last night, my sister and I agreed to meet up today for a movie. We talked about the time and everything, there was no miscommunication there. I was driving from across town after an appointment and was planning on getting there pretty much exactly as the movie started and she would meet me at the same time.
So I hurry over there from my appointment today and get to the theater, no sister. Wait for ten minutes, no sister. I texted her as I was leaving for my appointment, when I left my appointment for the theater, and when I got there. No answers.
So I came home, pretty frustrated, only to find that she wasn't even home and had left an hour ago to go hang out at a coffee shop. So I'm kind of angry.
Let me say this--I love my sister to death. She's my best friend in the world and I wouldn't trade her for anything. She just struggles so much with punctuality and showing up places where she's expected to be. This kind of thing happens so often that I probably would have been surprised if she had shown up on time--but that doesn't mean I'm not frustrated as heck that it's happened again.
Here's the complication--my sister struggles with depression, anxiety, and perfectionism (I do too). So whenever she comes home and I have to address this with her, I feel like I have to downplay it as no big deal, like it didn't bother me, so that she doesn't go on a big guilt spiral and spend the next two days down in the dumps.
And I don't think that's particularly fair to me, that I can't say to my sister "I was hurt by the fact that you forgot about our date." I'm not the yelling type and I'm not really irate, just frustrated. But I feel like I can't express that frustration because of her mental health issues.
I don't know what to do, I feel kind of trapped. Help? | Sister stood me up for a movie, something she does frequently, but I feel like I can't tell her that this hurt me because it would set her on a guilt spiral. |
t3_2n7o08 | dating_advice | Online Dating Confusion [M26/F23] | I month ago I started messaging with this girl on a online-dating platform. I was hesitant first, because she has a little baby, but she seemed incredibly sweet on her pictures and I like babies (even though I'm glad I'm not a father yet).
The conversations go nicely and she seems really sweet. I ask her if we could meet sometime and she says she's out of town the next few days, but would like to meet up later.
By then I already had plans to move away (1h car-drive) and thought I should be fair. So I told her about my plans and that I'm still up for meeting and enjoying the time we have left.
Suddenly she says she doesn't think we should meet yet, that she can only meet at home because of her baby and that she doesn't know me well enough to invite me to her place.
I reply that I understand it's difficult to date with a baby and that it's difficult for me to make a long-term commitment because I'm moving...
At this point I thought it's the end and I'm fine with it. Now, after one week she writes "Well, that [your moving] shouldn't be a problem, I once had a 9-month long-distance relationship."
Now, I'm totally confused. Can you help me clear the fog?
**[ | ] Hit it off with a single-mother. When I tell her I'm moving away she suddenly doesn't want to meet anymore. A week later she messages me again. |
t3_xirap | AskReddit | How does one deal with a co-worker who hates you and undermines you amongst your peers as well as having an incompetent boss who refuses to sort it out but also tries to intimidate you due to his insecurities? | A co-worker has literally not spoken to me for years and in this time always tries to undermine me, ~~talk about me in the third person~~ and offloads work on me. when I walk in the office and he is slagging someone off (by not using names) after a while I know he is describing me to other people. There are more "games" he likes to play.
My boss is a farce who has very little idea of the ins and outs of his job and from day 1 tried to intimidate me into helping him whenever he is out of his depth. He also frequently gets others to clean up his mess but they don't seem to mind whereas I do.
The co-worker is also difficult with other people in the office - so it isn't just me - but since I changed to a job closer to his he has become spiteful and resentful to me (and most people to be honest). The boss has admitted there is a problem, but has convinced himself that he too is involved and therefore can't do anything about. The co worker is the sort of person that crosses the t's and dots the i's making - a mr perfect - and so faulting his work that is hard. It is just his passive/aggressive attitude and total disdain for anyone around him.
Yes, I could leave my job but it is hard to find another, and I am looking but career choices are a whole other topic. In the meantime how would you deal with an evil co-worker and an incompetent bully of a boss. | Co-worker is and frequently makes me feel depressed. boss doesn't care. Job switch isn't going to happen any time soon. What should i do? |
t3_4smulb | relationships | American [29 M] with my Japanese [23 F] date who has no dating experience. How fast should I progress? | So lately I've been seeing this rather shy and quiet young woman for a month. She told me upfront that she has never been with a man before. But something about her is really interesting because we connect on the books and movies we like.
She's apparently a big anime fan but I'm not. What kinds of things can I expect from her? Also because of her inexperience I have a harder time reading her.
The first date I had my arm around her and we were holding hands, but I later read even that is rushing it. When is it okay to try and kiss her? Do Japanese really do a love confession like in movies?
Lately she's been saying things like, "I'm really at ease around you." and what not. | Met a young woman who I feel I connect with. But I have a hard time reading her. How fast should things be progressing if she has no dating experience? |
t3_1uvzyv | relationships | Me [31 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] of 10 years, can't tell if he loves me or I'm being used. | He and I have been together off/on for 10 years. We have a child together and I have one from a previous relationship. Money issues are huge for us. I've had to declare bankruptcy because he pushed me into bad financial decisions. Examples include buying a house together for more than I wanted to spend and him buying cars he couldn't afford and asking for my help to bail him out.
Now I take full responsibility for my own bad financial decisions and I'm trying extremely hard to get my finances back on track. I want to be a good mother that can provide for my children. I've downgraded to a cheap apartment, my car is paid off, I have a good steady job. My boyfriend moved into the apartment with me. He does pay half the rent and childcare. However, that is it. I'm paying everything else. He's causing me such financial hardship.
I buy the groceries, he eats entire bags of chips and boxes of cereal in one sitting. He leaves lights on, takes long hot showers, uses the cable and internet like it's going out of style. He refuses to buy anything, even a gift, for my other daughter. I ask him for money and he readily agrees, but then keeps "forgetting".
Why do I stay? Because if I talk about breaking up he starts crying and saying how much he loves me. Our daughter adores him. He's good about helping with some things - like repairs or running errands. He does have a good job and makes decent money. He does pay child support and references that anytime I ask for money. But that money really does go to his daughter as I'm the one paying for all her clothes, housing, entertainment, etc.
I think he does love me, but I can't get over the fact that he's ok watching me completely struggle. But yet he has the money to go buy himself speakers/bike parts/etc. If questioned about this, he gets extremely defensive. Please give it to me straight! I need brutal honesty. My family keeps telling me to do what I want. I need advice desperately. Thank you so much. | Boyfriend of 10 years and childs father is terrible with money but a decent person rather than that. Need brutal honesty. |
t3_39w8lc | relationship_advice | Girl doesn't feel the same way | Hello not sure if here is the correct place to post since i am not in an relationship so i apologize in advance.
I (18M) just got outta high school along with senior classmates. I really like this girl(17f) i only met this year. We get along really well we have no problem talking to each other whatsoever. I asked her to prom but she gave me some excuses that she wanted to go as a group and not "together". Well i got over it and we started talking again. Now she has a boyfriend and its one of my good friends. It felt like my chest was sinking. i found out at a party we were both at they were both at holding hands, dancing together, etc. i had to leave. What should i do. I was thinking about asking her to meet up with me just me and her so i can talk to her about how i feel | good friend of mine has turned me down to prom and is dating a good friend of mine. I want to confess feelings although i think she knows what should i do |
t3_2nw03u | relationships | My boyfriend (22 M) and I (20 F) are going to be going long distance soon, any advice? | My boyfriend (22 M) and I (20 F) both attend university in the Midwestern United States. We have been dating for a year, have been friends for longer, are very much in love and want to stay together after graduation. My boyfriend had to stay on an extra semester at school in order to tie up some loose credit ends, but now he's going to be graduating with a degree in Economics and Finance. He's also lucky enough to have gotten an amazing job! He'll be working in Pasadena in California and I'm so proud of and happy for him. We made the decision to stay together due to my ambition to get my Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering at Caltech. So the plan is we'll be long distance for two years, and then I'll join him in Pasadena.
The thing is, I just want advice about long distance relationships. I've been in a solid amount of relationships before this but this is the first time I'm doing LD. I trust him completely and I would never cheat on him, but how do you keep the love alive across time zones and miles, and when you're both super busy? I'm okay with altering my plans or even continuing with them and just living on my own if it doesn't work out, but I want to make it work because I love this guy more than I ever thought possible. How did you make your own LDRs work, r/relationships? | My boyfriend is graduating from our university in the Midwest and moving to California, so we are going to be long distance for two years until I can join him. Any advice on how we make a long distance relationship work? |
t3_263s8e | Advice | A confusing situation with friend and friends girlfriend and me. Completely Baffled as to what to do. | Here is the situation. I have known this guy, for about a year now. And I have never met his girlfriend. A few hours ago he dropped a bombshell, in a few texts, on me that four months ago he created an account on some messenger to talk to his girlfriend as me to see her reaction if "I" flirted with her. This has been going on for four months and he is only telling me because now she wants to meet and do some other things with the both of us. Being a 20m, I can see both pros and cons of the situation. But the problem is the morality. He has literally been lying to his Girlfriend and masquerading as me for a while and now wants me to play along so she does not dump him. They have been together for four years and I don't want to break that up either. This should be a straight forward situation, I should go and tell his girlfriend immediately. But...... As I said I'm completely baffled. Please any advice you can give will be great.
Thank you. | Friend created an account in my name, flirted with his girlfriend with that account, wants me to play along as if it was me the entire time. |
t3_3fbdtl | tifu | TIFU by assuming a birthday present in the bedroom meant sex. | This actually happened yesterday, and I didn't go to work today, so I type this at a Starbucks.
It was my 40th birthday, and I had a great day at work with a couple of nice greetings and congratulations from coworkers. Most people left about 15 minutes early from work, but I really didn't care/notice anything out of the ordinary.
Around 5:00, I get a text from my wife that says, "Come home for your birthday present in the bedroom :)"
I rushed home and parked. I went into the house and took off my shoes. My wife was waiting for me in the bedroom, so I decided to pour some wine. I poured two glasses of our nicest bottle and took off my pants and unbuttoned my shirt just so we could get right into it if we needed to.
So, double fisting red wine, boxers showing 80 percent chub, and shirt unbuttoned all the way, I opened the door with my forearm and scooted in with a big grin on my face.
The first face I saw in the bedroom was my best friend's wife shouting, "SURPRISE!!!!"
All at once, all of my closest friends and most of my coworkers sprouted from behind the bed, the couches, and the door to my bed room.
The looks on their faces went from happy to horrified in seconds.
I was panicked, so I threw the glasses of red wine on the carpet and my own shirt, and booked it out of my own house.
As soon as I got to the car, I sped out the driveway, no shoes, no pants, and an unbuttoned wine-stained shirt.
Probably the worst 40th birthday anyone has ever had. I want to post it to reddit on a throwaway so that we can talk about it because I really can't talk to anyone else at this point. | I thought a birthday present in the bedroom was sex, but it was a surprise party for my 40th with all of my closest friends and coworkers. |
t3_29t5ko | relationship_advice | Feeling ignored by my boyfriend. [both 20] | I [f/20] have been feeling that I'm slowly being replaced by video games and often feel ignored and unloved by my boyfriend. We have been dating for two years and living together for a few months. All he does is sleep, play video games and works.
He usually stays up all night playing video games with his online friends, then sleeps until I wake him up for work (we work at the same place) and once work is done, he plays video games again. When we are both off of work, he does the same thing, forcing me to find something else to do during the day when I wake up (which is usually cleaning).
I've talked to him about it several times, and he says the same thing every time. "You make me feel guilty for playing games instead of paying attention to you." It's not like I beg or anything, I just simply ask if we can maybe just cuddle or something, but no.
What else can I do or say to get him to pay attention to me every once in a blue moon? | All boyfriend does is play video games and sleeps, hardly paying any attention to me. How can I get him to step away from the games a little and hang out with me? |
t3_n91ns | AskReddit | Music Therapy: is it a legitimate career? | I am trying to NOT waste my time and money (mainly parents') but am scrambling for something that I can succeed in. My passion is music; I am a musician but a college degree isn't needed to tour in a van, sleep on floors while barely scraping by, not be able to afford insurance, and not have a retirement plan. So I am looking for a career that I can follow with a passion that will secure me for the future while I keep on trying to make it with the whole "band thing." It's just hard to follow something and do well with it in school when I'm trying to do music so I came across Music Therapy and thought it would be great if I could put my passion towards something legitimate. Hopefully a Music Therapist out there can shed some light or at least someone who actually *knows* about it or knows someone in it... | can anyone with experience in this area or know about Music Therapy shed some light on its legitimacy? job opportunites, pay, schooling, retirement? |
t3_2lu84g | tifu | TIFU By Dry Humping [NSFW] | This happened 3 years ago when I was in my final year of highschool. I had been dating my girlfriend at the time for roughly a year, and the time came where we decided to finally have sex. The big day was set for the upcoming weekend.
A couple days prior to the big day, I had a hockey game and went over to her house after. The story begins when I forgot a change of underwear. I shower up after my game and since I didn't bring a change of underwear, I had to go commando in jeans to her house.
So I get to her house and we begin to watch a movie in the basement, things start to heat up a bit as we start making out. We start dry humping the hell out of each other while we're making out. As she gets on top of me, I get this weird feeling on my donger that is not very pleasant. But like most horny teenagers I don't let it get to me and continue on. I'm leaving her house later that night and its quite uncomfortable to walk. I get into my car, turn the light on and take a look at what's wrong with my dick. Why does it hurt so bad? Turns out, the combination of dry humping, and wearing no underwear under jeans gave me 3 different spots of rug burn (jean burn? I dont know..). The first thing on my mind was oh shit.. I'm supposed to be finally getting laid in a couple days.. whats gonna happen.. aww shit.
Fast forward to the big day. Burns still present and painful as ever. We're at her house, start off by making out in the hot tub and the pool. Hurry off to the shower to rinse off the chlorine in our horny stupor. We're in the shower and starts to jerk me off, thankfully she hasn't seen the burns on my dick. If you've ever irritated a rug burn on your arm, multiply that by 50 and that's how I felt. Shortly after, we head off to the bedroom where I slip on a condom and hope to god the sex doesn't hurt (for me atleast). Praise be to those condoms... no pain on my end, and the girlfriend never knew I had the rug burns | dry humped my girlfriend while wearing jeans and no underwear, rug burns on my dick, still managed to get laid. |
t3_16rw1x | relationships | I [22 M] met an awesome girl [23 F] online. We've been close friends for 7 months, but ever since I've begun to care about her so much, I wonder if the latest conversation will be our last. How do I change this mindset? | I became very ill in 2008 (I was 18), and about 95% of my friends vanished from my life. People I loved, who had cried on my shoulders and myself on theirs. People I had spent my entire teenage life growing up with. People I thought were solid.
I was sick, and they vanished. The only people I apparently trust are the 2 friends who stuck with me, and my family. And even those friends grew distant. So it seem now, every time I get to caring about someone like that again, I see the relationship as if it's on a precipice, as if it could fall out from under me at any time, and I'll never see them again.
This is a girl I could marry. But now this attitude I have is making me miserable, and could begin to interfere with our relationship.
How do I not feel like she's a mist that I never know when it will vanish? | got ditch by almost all my friends, now the fear of not getting ditched by the coolest girl I've ever met is making me miserable. |
t3_1to1fm | relationships | She [26F] says she can't give 100% of herself to me [27M] yet. | She's one of those girls who have been hurt a lot in the past. Her previous boyfriends treated her like shit, except for her first boyfriend whom she loved.
We've been together for 7 months now, and in all of that time I could feel that she isn't giving herself to me totally... unlike me. I give her my everything and she knows it. She does things that she wouldn't do if she loved me completely.
Anyway, I talked to her about it and she said that she really loves me, but she can't give herself totally to me yet. She says give me time. She says that she gave 80% by now, and that I shouldn't pressure her and just wait for her to give me the rest. I really love her and I'm willing to wait, but... it's really hard when you give yourself completely to someone, and you don't get the same in return. She also told me (and that hurt me the most) that she can't yet give 100% like she gave to her first boyfriend.
I am not really experienced... Is this normal for girls to act like this? I understand that someone needs more time to totally surrender, but I am worried that she'll never be able to give her 100%. On the other hand, I am really giving my all and really putting in the effort, so I wonder if everything will just be a waste of time. | Girlfriend says she can't give 100% to me yet, that she needs time. However, I am worried that she'll never be able to give 100%. Is this normal for some girls to act like this? |
t3_38r1wp | tifu | TIFU by trying to kill a bug | This happened about 5 hours ago, and I've become super paranoid since. So first, a bit of background information, where I live, house centipedes are a recurring problem every spring to summer, and while their demonic speed and appearance startle me, I've gotten used to killing them. I usually find them on the ceiling, and they're dispatched rather quickly with a shoe.
This morning, I found a 1 inch long house centipede just outside my room, hanging from the ceiling in a corner. I was running late and decided to ignore it for the time being. Fast forward 9 hours later, I come home, and find the little bastard still there. Following routine, I grab my shoe and slowly approach it.
This is where the FU happens. Because the centipede is sitting in a corner, it's significantly harder to get with a shoe, which couldn't exactly fit into the crevice. However, I decide to go for it anyway. I jump, slam the shoe in the corner… and I miss. The house centipede notices me and starts booking it. It begins scurrying across the ceiling, and I use this time to line up another shot. The freaking thing then falls and drops onto the wood floor. Whether or not it was intentional, it freaks me out and I start scanning the brown flooring for the well-camouflaged centipede. I see it just as it skitters and squirms at the speed of light into an opening in the floor molding (until now, I wasn't even aware that was a valid escape route).
Ever since then, whenever I walk around my house, I crouch and slowly scan the ceiling for the one that got away. | Tried to kill house centipede, it fell and camouflaged with the wood floor and got away. Now extremely cautious and on edge. |
t3_t5vn5 | AskReddit | Can anyone help with my car issue? Details inside. | My car, Mercury Sable 2002, doesn't exactly run perfectly under normal conditions, but today it started to shit the bed. I turned my car on after it was parked and I immediately noticed something was wrong. **It wasn't nearly as loud as normal, in fact, it was almost completely silent, as it ran at about 500 rpm.** I don't know the exact number, but my car normally idles at around 800-900 (I think) and can make some funny noises time to time.
I couldn't stay where I was, as it was 20 minute parking, so I drove it around. **It drove, for the most part, normally once I was on the accelerator, and it got to its normal 2000 rpm at around 35-40 mph.** But as it was just small town driving, I have no clue what will happen at faster speeds. **Before I reached my destination, the check engine light came on.** I was able to get to a parking spot though.
**The only slight hiccup I saw while driving is that when I was taking a turn very slowly, the steering wheel took a little more strength than normal, but only for that turn.**
I need to drive home tomorrow from school. It can't really wait because my parents are visiting my step-dad's mother 3 states away, and I was on pet duty for the weekend. I was planning/needed to leave by 9 am. **It's about a 3 hour drive, and 95% of that involves going 70 mph on the highway. | See the bold texts. My car shit the bed, need it to get me home to take care of pets. Is this feasible? Thanks. |
t3_1c9wq6 | relationships | [21M] confused about [22M]'s signals. | There is a guy I've started to see (only gone on four "dates") and he's somewhat confusing to me.
I personally am not looking for a serious, deep relationship, at least not now.
We are both in college. On our first date, I'd mentioned that I might be graduating soon, as in, this summer (he had misheard me, I'm graduating next year). He got sort of panicky and said he was worried about me graduating early, which I thought was kind of odd.
Honestly, when I'm around this person, I feel like I get mixed vibes. He says he broke up with this person eight months ago, and they were together for three years.
He says he "doesn't want a relationship either" (not till after college, which I agree with). While talking to him, he'd told he still "loves his ex but [only occasionally] misses him."
I guess what confuses is where exactly is this heading? Is this bound to be a FWB scenario? We've already messed around with each other, though I've held back on sex. It's just I've never really had a FWB arise.
In fact, I really don't have any gay friends at all, because they usually burn out when one side desires the other more. | I like a guy, and he likes me back, but I don't know where this is heading or what will come of it because he has more baggage than me. |
t3_v7j62 | relationship_advice | [21/m][19/f] Relationship seems like its about to fall apart, can't see any way to fix it. | I'll try my best to be unbiased about everything here since I know a lot of this is my fault too.
My girlfriend and I have been together for just under three years now. We get along great in every regard, and I'm head over heels for her.
Recently she made a new friend (guy) from work. They started texting, and I see some of the texts he's sending her and they're pretty flirty. I told her I think so (she disagrees) and that it makes me uncomfortable. Keeps happening, and eventually we got in a big spat over it. She says she's going to stop talking to him - fine, whatever. Over the next half a year, she continues talking to him but starts hiding it and lies 6(?) times about talking to him (and before you say she's cheating I know (am pretty sure) she isn't, and please don't factor that in to your replies). Then a while later one of her other friends asks her if she and this guy all want to hang out. She tells me (stopped hiding it at least) and asks if I'm okay with it. I tell her it will make me really uncomfortable and she goes ahead with it anyways. Another big fight, stops talking again, yadda yadda yadda. Fast forward to now, where I had almost forgotten about it, and they go out for wings with a couple other people and it all comes flooding back.
I'm at the point where I am constantly thinking about this and it's making me miserable. I don't want to make her stop talking to a friend, especially since it's my jealousy that caused all of this in the first place. But I don't see any other options.
Any advice for getting through this without her losing her friend or us breaking up? I really want to stay with this girl, but I can't get over it. | Girlfriends male friend makes me uncomfortable after several lies about communicating with him, don't know how to fix the problem without breaking up. |
t3_cmz1e | AskReddit | My younger Brother is moving to the US Virgin Islands and has no housing or job lined up. Should I try to talk him out of it? | Backstory: My brother has been dating this girl for just less than 2 years. During this time she has pressured him into doing things he didn't want to do (i.e. become a vegitarian, she moved into my parents house, they moved into a basement apartment that he pays for).
Now they are moving to the US Virgin Islands, they have around 5k$ savings, but only have a 'reservation' at a hostel, and no jobs lined up for once they get there. He is a 4 year Art Major (Graphic Design), and she has only ever had waitress / barrista / server jobs and has an Associates Degree in Photography.
I'm torn about what to do because my parents only see it as his 'gypsy' girlfriend who can't hold a job leading my naive brother around like a puppy doing whatever she says.
They have one-way tickets down there, and as of right now all I've told him about the trip is that I will buy him a ticket back if he wants me to, all he has to do is ask. | Help me out guys, is my family being irrational, and we should let him go on what could be one of the best experiences of his life, or is his plan bat-shit crazy and we should try to stop him? |
t3_1bakjn | relationship_advice | Isn't sex supposed to mean something? 21/F with 23/M | I'm really confused. I had sex with a guy who has slept over basically every night this week for he first time today. But then I see him at the bar making out with another girl. I know he has a pattern of playing girls, but thinks have been semi serious. He is majorly hurt from a previous relationship but I don't know what to do. I've done the whole non-committal thing with someone else but neither of us were really actively sleeping with other people. It seems like (to me) that he has moved on since he finally fucked me.
Just last night he was talking about the "future" and all these "plans" but now I don't know what to make of it. Because we always make breakfast (or lunch-- depends on the meal we wake up for) and he is like "I'll buy groveries so we can cook more", but I just don't know.
I'm drunk and upset and all I can think of is him having sex with this chick. He called me saying he wanted to see me tonight and snuggle, but how do I take that? He said he would be like an hour or two because he wanted to "hang out with friends".
Don't get me wrong he is a very genuine guy when we are together. But he just seems to operate on two different levels. Being a real human being who seems to care, and then the playboy who just wants to get his dick wet.
I'm getting too attached and I know it. | guy who I finally had sex with making out with another chick at bar. Reputation for being a player, but I want to think its different. Too attached. |
t3_4ztx14 | tifu | TIFU by not understanding how names work. | So, I've recently just moved house and the good thing about this is I get to change the address on all my cards and ID. I decided to do the hardest one first which would be my drivers licence because I hate the .Gov website as it's a massive turd. After several failed attempts at trying to navigate the site, a box came up with an error message providing a number to ring.
After being on hold for too long, finally a woman picked up, telling me she can sort everything out and it'll just take a couple of minutes. She asks me for my names and this is how the conversation went:
Gov - "Ok so I just need to take a couple of details from you is that alright?"
YRRAH321 - "Yeah, yeah thats fine"
Gov - "Ok so can I take your surname please"
YRRAH321 - "Ok so its Smith"
Gov - "thats great, and your forenames?"
YRRAH321 - "No, no. Sorry I don't have four names, I only have three? my name is John Michael Smith."
Gov - "No, your forenames?"
YRRAH321 - "Yeah, I don't have four names love, only three."
Gov - "..."
Gov - "No."
Gov - "Your FORENAMES?"
YRRAH321 - "Yeah you're clearly not listening to me mate, I have three names! John, thats one! Michael, thats two! and Smith, thats three! I never got confirmed so I don't get the extra name!"
Gov - "What is your first and middle name?"
YRRAH321 - "John and Michael"
Gov - "Thank you!"
At this point I realised what I had done and how stupid I had been but I was in to deep at this point so I couldn't apologise. Finally I ended the call and finished everything up and turned around to find my mum staring at me, her mouth wide open, and she just says "You're an idiot" | Didn't understand the difference between the words forenames and four names which resulted in me getting very angry with a woman on the phone. |
t3_1txcu8 | relationships | I [20F] want to take the next step in my 3 year relationship with my SO [20M] but he avoids the conversationor says I am being silly. | Hi redditors, new to posting so bare with me and I apologise in advance. Anyway, here it comes. I have been in a serious relationship for 3 years now and I want more than the "In a relationship with X" on facebook. I love my partner with all my heart but I am getting frustrated at him not wanting to take the next step.
Our relationship is great, sure we bicker here and there but no more than the next person. I really could not ask for anyone better than him, he's amazing. We both live at our parents homes and my partner refuses to discuss moving in together. We both have jobs so money is not an issue. I sometimes send him a few links of houses as little hints but he gives me cold replies or picks out things that are wrong with the houses. I am worried that maybe he is having concerns about our relationship.
The other thing is, I would like to be married and have children at a young age and when I mentioned this to him his eyes widened in shock and replied with "I do not want to discuss this at this stage of our relationship. We're not there or even close." Both of our parents are catholic and got married really young.
I would like some advice on whether to bring this up to him or give him time. We do have sex by the way, this is not a no sex before marriage situation where I am rushing to marry for that purpose. I don't know if I am being impatient and immature or he is not all that sure that he wants together forever. I don't want to lose him. HELP! | I[20F] want partner [20M] to move in and commit himself to our relationship and make myself his wife but he does not want to discuss it. |
t3_twn81 | AskReddit | I have a mule. Where can I get 40 acres? | And 2 goats! Images:
[Archie!] [Bunker!] [Peter!](
Actually just one acre would be pretty cool. Basically I want to start a farm -- where I have chickens and goats and veggies and all kinds of stuff, and sell extras -- and I need some land to do it. I have thought of doing [workaway programs] to get experience but I am attached to my barnboys (Archie, Bunker, and Peter) and 3 more homeboys (dogs) so finding a workaway place that can host us isn't likely and I have a lot of experience anyhow, being that I've had horse (albeit on a boarding stable) my whole life. I just need somewhere to start.
I know there are programs like in Kansas and Alaska where you can get an acre or something if you promise to farm on it, and I'm looking in to those programs but looking for more.
I'm not averse to PAYING for land, I just don't have enough savings yet. I have good credit but am living paycheck to paycheck now and going to move back in with the parents to save up.
My job is "portable" and I could work from afar while still keeping this job but I think my boss would fire me if I told him I was moving to Alaska or something to start a farm. So I'm looking into any locations but especially the US or Germany (I've always wanted to live in Germany) because transportation for the menagerie to another continent would be ridiculous. | Need ideas where to get free/cheap good land to start a farm, what to look for when buying land, ideas for starting a farm, etc |
t3_25l0ik | relationships | [17M] How did any of you guys deal with your ex moving on to someone else? | I'm sure people have different ways of approaching this.
My now ex-gf (16F) and I broke up almost a year ago. But we dated for a year and a half. I know we're young and I hope people don't have anything against that here.
Because I didn't only lose a girlfriend , I also lost a really, really great friend.
There were no hard feelings when it ended and it was a mutual thing just because we both realized we'd changed a lot in the time we spent together.
We don't talk anymore but I see her all the time at school. I feel like recently though, it's almost become a competition. Seeing who's been doing better since the break up. And that sucks.
Mostly because I realized I still have feelings toward her and she's been with a couple of guys since then.
I would just appreciate some advice as to how some of you guys got over your ex being with other people now? Because this isn't good for me and I want to move one. I'm trying my hardest just to be mature about it but if I've really gone this long without talking to her and I still have feelings then I'm doing something wrong. | Ex and I broke up over a year ago. I still have feelings for her and I'm seeking advice how to get over the fact she's with another person now. |
t3_sazzb | relationships | Met the girl of my dreams, but I'm half a world wau in Afghanistan | I'm almost 26 she is 24. A few months ago I "liked" her fitness blog page on facebook. I have always found athletic girls to be what I desire physically but that's not the point of this. I really liked her posts and the person she presented to the world through this page, so I decided to message her. Spent a long time coming up with a great line to lay on her and I did and she responded favorably followed by some small chit chat.
Flash forward a month or so and she finds me and adds me as a friend on her personal page. We've recently been messaging back and forth on the regular about our likes and dislikes, our future plans, our dreams and passions in life, etc. The messages are getting pretty long, like an hour or so of typing long. I have told her that I really like talking to her and am enjoying getting to know her and she has told me that she likes talking to me as well and is enjoying getting to know me. I'm really starting to like her but I'm horrible at picking up on signs from women unless they're completely obvious and she never really "hits" on me but she did recently give me her phone number when I asked for it.
Do you guys think she's feeling the same way towards me? I'm currently in Afghanistan and will be going home in June. I'm not sure how to bring up the subject that I've started to become very romantically attracted to her through messages from the other side of the world. Any advice or just general thoughts on the situation, reddit? | I can't tell if she likes me or not because we've only messaged through facebook from opposite sides of the globe. |
t3_3m5uf1 | relationships | My boss[35M] helper[19F] has an inappropriate crush on him--should I[24F] intervene?? | I have been at my dream job in agriculture for two years. My boss, John, and I get along great. I see him as a dorky big brother. Recently the farm's owners hired a girl, Tammy, to help John with a big side project. Tammy had an "in" because she is good friends with the owners' daughter. She also takes riding lessons from John, and helps him when he does his outside horseshoeing job.
Our town is fairly small, and we have a lot of mutual acquaintances. One of them recently approached me and said that she had hung out with Tammy a few days back, and Tammy had said some disturbing things about John. She said that he had smoked around her, telling her not to tell his wife. Also that John has smacked her ass and flirted with her.
I was shocked. I know that John quit smoking years ago, and he holds distaste for them. The nature of our work is very physical, and there would be no way he could be smoking and not hacking up a lung every twenty minutes.
John is also very religious, simple, and completely devoted to his wife. I'm not sure he could imagine cheating on her.
Now, there is the chance that she is telling the truth and he's a scumbag, but I honestly think he's an oblivious genuinely nice guy. He's super friendly and just wants to share his knowledge. I've been around him for more than two years, seeing him six days a week, and he's never come on to me.
The community around our work is extremely gossipy, and John is well known and liked. If Tammy tells the wrong person, his reputation could be destroyed. Like I said, he's like my brother. I don't want to see that happen to him.
What do I do? I don't have super hard evidence, and I don't want to start something if there's nothing there. But I also don't want to see this hormone crazy girl destroy his life. Should I bring it up to him somehow or just let it play out? | married boss has teen girl crushing hard on him and not keeping it to herself. She could destroy his life if she told the wrong person her delusions. |
t3_1wc7zl | cats | My housecat has escaped! I need some advice :/ | I have about a 1.5 year old house cat who has lived indoors her whole life. She has escaped into the great outdoors. I'd really appreciate any advice you can offer on what I can do to help her find its way back home :/
I came home around 5 am to my front door being wide open. Apparently my roommate neglected to lock the door when he got in around midnight and it had blown open. The cat was nowhere to be found. I looked outside in the frigid weather for about a half hour with no success. Since then I have placed her litter box, food, and a laundry basket she likes to sleep in with a rug she likes on the front porch. I have looked around the neighborhood three times today for maybe an hour and a half total.
I'm having no luck and I know it hasn't been long but naturally I am getting worried :/ she is hardly acclimated to such cold weather... She's never had to get her own food before but cats are pretty resourceful.... | housecat is missing for a day now and I'd like some advice on how I can coax her/help her find her way back to the house. |
t3_2bkk72 | tifu | TIFU by telling my brothers too much | So I was talking to my friend about my day on the phone. I began talking about my sex life. I off-handedly mentioned that she and I had had sex the day before when I realized my older brothers were in the room listening in on my phone conversation. Being caught, I turned to my brothers to explain myself. As I was explaining myself to them, I realized that my brothers were previously not paying attention and were oblivious to the entire situation prior to me explaining myself. I had openly (and stupidly) told my oblivious two adult brothers about my sex life and now I am no longer the "innocent younger brother" that they saw me as before. | Thought my brothers heard me talk about my sex life and tried to explain myself. They didn't actually hear me until I opened my dumb mouth. |
t3_3xjtbp | relationships | Older guy (60-ish) tried to get me (28 F) to come back to his place while his wife was out of town | I joined a bowling league through a place where I volunteer about 2 months ago. I'm pretty friendly with everyone on the league, and last week when we bowled we were talking about Star Wars; the guy in question (Bob) and another guy from the league (Aaron) thought it would be fun if we all went to see it together.
So the 3 of us went to see it together a few nights ago. While we were in line Bob accidentally (I thought) touched my ass lightly several times. I've accidentally done this before so I didn't think much of it, but in retrospect he also purposely touches me pretty frequently (grabbing my shoulders, etc.) so it's unlikely it was an accident.
While standing in line Bob mentioned that his wife was out of town to care for her sister after her sister had cancer surgery. I said that must be horrible for her, and he tried to downplay how serious her sister's cancer was.
After the movie, we drove off and Bob asked if we wanted to stop for drinks somewhere or (he said this so quickly I didn't understand what he said at first) that we could go back to one of our houses for drinks, and Aaron said he was tired. Then Bob acted like we were going to go back to his place without Aaron, but I also said I was tired to get out of it.
The more I think about it the more obvious it is. I was pretty psyched for this movie so I was talking about it nonstop and they didn't even really care about it, so why would they want to go see it with me?
There's no way he wasn't trying to have sex with me, is there? While his wife was out of town, while her sister was having cancer surgery?!
How do I approach the place I volunteer about this? He's in a position that he essentially can't be fired from... They're going to ask me why I'm quitting and I don't want to lie to them.
Why do people do things like this? I really thought he just wanted to go see Star Wars. Is there anyone who doesn't have ulterior motives? | A 60-ish married guy from the place I volunteer tried to get me to come back to his place for drinks after going to the movies as a group, while his wife was out of town visiting her sister who has cancer. |
t3_2o0iif | relationships | Me [28 M] with my recent almost-gf [29 F] in love too quick? | I've been single a while, (about 6 years), only had casual sex.
But i met this girl on tinder, spent last week chatting with her on a skype call, we developed a huge sexual tension via skype and she wanted to talk to me everyday. She looks like Mila Kunis sister.
**[Friday]**
First date, movies, we kissed 5 minutes after meeting before going in the movies. She couldn't stop kissing me. After the movies, we spent some time on my car, listening to 80s music and kissing and caressing each other.
**[Saturday]**
We go out with 2 of her girl friends, we are referred to by everyone as "the couple" and I liked it. I noticed she wore a ring on her ring finger that day. I had a strong sense to protect her on the pub we went to, and she felt it and liked it.
**[Sunday]**
I pick her up and we go straight to a motel to have sex, best time of my life.
She calls me her prince and I call her my princess. She wants to talk all the time, she pretty much admitted to being in love with me and can't stop saying how perfect I am. And I like her, her body, her mind, her romanticism. I can't stop thinking about her.
We talk about sex a lot too. I'm very open about it, I tell her how I like it and she tells me how she likes it.
I never had nothing like this, all the girls I've been with played some kind of game, the kind where they kept you waiting to reply any message and I played that game too. I play hard to get with other girls, but this one was completely different and it's going well. I find all of this very weird, completely uncharted territory.
She can be a little clingy wanting to talk everyday but I like it.
We feel like we are in a relationship already, is this going too fast?
When is the proper time to ask her to be my girlfriend? | Had 3 dates with this girl, we seem like we are in a relationship boyfriend/girlfriend, are we going too fast? When is it the proper time to ask? |
t3_1uqvuf | relationships | Me [21F] with my BF [24M] of almost three years, bf doesn't want to make any effort for yearly anniversary anymore | I recently found out my boyfriend isn't planning on doing anything for our three year anniversary. His words: "I wasn't planning on doing anything at all".
We celebrated this every year prior and I was already working on my handmade gift for him..
I explained to him that our yearly anniversary meant a lot to me, and he agreed to celebrating it eventually. But he didn't want to spend much, to which I agreed.
Today he suddenly called me and excitedly told me he spent 50 dollars at some online lottery.
I feel hurt and worthless. Not only did he not make any effort to do anything for me (even though we celebrated every year), he's also being cheap while he clearly doesn't have any problem throwing money away.
I am not sure what to think of this. Yes I am being materialistic and this date means more to me than it probably should, but at the same time I'm very disappointed in the (lack of) effort he made for me.
Do I have any rights to feel upset about this? Help... | bf didn't plan on doing anything for anniversary this year while we did every year prior. Doesn't want to spend much on me while he throws away money on a lottery. |
t3_4o85pp | relationships | Me [25F] not sure if overreacting to temp. roommate [20sF] | Hey reddit. I need strangers' words of wisdom because I feel biased talking to friends and family. Apologies for any errors (phone).
I moved in with my bf [25M] this summer in a house with him and his 2 roommates [25M & 25M], splitting rent 4 ways. We have the master bed/bath so sharing the space is not an issue. My bf works from home either in the living room or bedroom desk area while I commute to work. In March one of the roommates starting dating a girl (Karla) and they wold swap sleeping arrangements between her place and our house (she'd be over 3-4 nights a week). She had some housing issues (possible eviction) so the roommate invited her to move in for the whole month of June until she goes back to live with her folks. She isn't working this summer, so I'd saying she is technically squatting.
What is bothering me is a comment Karla made to my bf a couple days ago. He was in the living room working one morning and she approached him asking if he could hear her using vibrater (wtf?!). He said no, and later that day told me about their brief conversation. He is not at all interested in her and I do not think she is interested in him, but her asking him about something that private is weirding me out.
I'm incredibly uncomfortable that she'd even ask, and I'm wondering if my other prejudices towards her are clouding my judgement (she drinks like a fish, smokes cigarettes in their bedroom occasionally, and is addicted to xanax). She doesn't leave the house all day until her bf (roommate) come home from work in the evening. I want to be civil but it's messing with me that she'd day that to my bf when she is in the house with him all day every day.
Please give any input, I want to know if I'm being over dramatic. She isn't leaving until the end of the month & I want to feel comfortable in my own home | roommate's new gf moved in for a month, doesn't leave during the day, asked my bf who works from home if he can hear her using her vibrater, I'm weirded out |
t3_3sbe3s | relationships | My(19F) relationship with my father(58M) is wrecked after his affair. | So my dad had an affair, i posted about it here but deleted it soon after. My parents have been married 25 years. It was hard at first, i saw my mom cry like never before, i had nightmares. I was a daddy's girl that just lost all respect for my dad, not only because he cheated but because he was so self righteous and religious so the hypocrisy got to me. Also getting emotionally wrecked, backstabbed by someone else is one of my biggest fear and he just became the embodiement of it. My parents are working on their marriage and it's their business. I have emotionally disengaged from both of them as it is detrimental to my emotional stability.
My problem is that my relationship with my dad has been completely altered. I don't trust him anymore. I don't tell him about my life. I'm just generally distant from him. I don't tell him my concerns anymore or my plans for the future. I feel abandoned. I used to be really close to him. He was the parent i was closest to, so i feel alone now. He is a *cheater* and i can't reconcile that fact with the image i have of him. I knew he wasn't perfect, i reproach him a lot of things even but that is something i just can't get over. I wish we could get our old relationship back but i know i wouldn't be able to. I kind of don't know what i feel towards him. I respected him a lot, hell i thought i would want my partner to be as reliable of a man but now i'm just dumbfounded. It's been a month and i still can't move on. I haven't seen him in a week and now i dread coming home. I don't know what to tell him? He is a bit like a stranger to me now.
I don't know what to do about it. I feel like the relationship will just keep on being more and more damaged.
Please refrain from ''You don't know what happened between your parents etc...'' this post isn't about them. | I'm having troubles communicating with my dad after his affair. He is like a stranger to me now. I don't trust him anymore and feel really distant. What to do? |
t3_3fjsk2 | relationships | Confronting (17F) a former short term (~1 year) friend/crush (17M) from three years ago that I still have feelings for in senior year. How should I react? | Almost three years ago, I had class with this guy. He always flirted with me- he would always interrupt my conversations when I would talk to other people, stare at me a lot, copy what I was doing, make inappropriate jokes to me, always try to get my attention, everything. After some harsh words (on my side) and misunderstandings (on both parts) we didn't talk much anymore. I told him that I liked him twice (or, at least I attempted to) but he told he he didn't care and he didn't want to know.
Fast forward two years later, and we either avoid each other like the plague or pretend the other doesn't exist, or stare at each other whenever we cross paths. There have been quite a few times we have run into each other accidentally in the past two years. I wouldn't be bothered but recently my brother told me that the guy was asking him if he was associated with me, but my brother said no and the guy left.
And recently the guy walked into the same class (after school) that I was in with a mutual friend of ours. He stared at me for a few seconds, awkwardly pursed his mouth and left. It was very awkward. There were more incidents after this but this was the most uncomfortable aura surrounding them.
I didn't understand what's going on. I wanted to confront him but he seemed like he doesn't want to be bothered. Along with junior year hassles I couldn't be bothered and I just ignored everything.
Now senior year is approaching and from talking to a mutual friend I discovered that the guy and I might have at least one class together. Fuck. What can I do? | An estranged pseudo-friend/crush and I may confront each other once again after two long awkward years of not communicating. What should I do? |
t3_22929j | relationships | Not sure how I [20/F] talk to a potential SO [20/M] about a dark sexual past | I have been talking to and getting to know a guy for a little over a month now and I'm really growing to like him. Tons in common, similar interests and ideals, etc etc.
I'm fairly confident that I want to eventually enter a relationship with him. To describe him, he is...inexperienced in relationships. Kissing and having sex and all of that stuff hold a lot of important value to him (he is a virgin), which I totally respect and admire. There is one thing that is holding me back from him, I have no idea how to explain to him that I have been incredibly promiscuous and sexually active since I was about 14.
When I was younger, I withstood some pretty long-lasting sexual abuse in the form of online chatrooms and "camgirl" websites that I became wildly addicted to. This eventually progressed into breaking up with my boyfriend and just making some generally bad decisions in the past couple years.
Soo I guess I'm just a little lost on how/when/if I bring this up to him?? Help! He's an awesome guy, but I'm afraid he will be absolutely mortified if I disclosed this to him. | I'm an ex camgirl/have made some very poor sexual decisions in my past, trying to figure out how to talk about or disclose this to my potential love interest who is a virgin. |
t3_s1xmz | AskReddit | Reddit what is your most Badass moment that just made you feel awesome? | Mine first, in Year ten at highschool (Australian System) A larger kid in our year who was a total dick, who thought he was invincible and owned the place had been pushing me around near my locker, I had done what I was told and notified the teachers but they done nothing so one day he broke into my locker by kicking through the door ( which pissed me off enough I was ready to go him) But in my locker for a science assignment I had brought to school an old game boy colour to show how far graphics have come with the latest touch screen technology, he decided this was his so I told him to hand it over or someone would have to breath through their mouth for a week he didn't take the hint so he threw a big punch, it hurt like a bitch and nearly knocked me down but really wanting my gameboy I walked up to him and kicked the back of his hand as hard as I could muster and sent my gameboy rocketing up in the air while it was up I lunged in and hit him in the face ( breaking his nose, Fuck yeah) then remembering my gameboy I spun around and caught it just as it fell down. I was suspended for 14 day's but it was still the most Badass thing I've ever done. | Kicked a gameboy out of a dickhead's hand, punched him in the face caught gameboy, strolled away like a boss. |
t3_2rfqdh | relationships | I [29 M] somewhat recently broke up with my girlfriend [30 F] of about 5 years. | The problems started with sex. She had little to no interest in it. I truly was patient and tried to help with anything I could. Her most common reason was stress and I did anything I could think of or anything she asked me to help with. Eventually, the rejection was too much for me and I stopped trying to initiate sex. I was still trying to help her though and we did talk about the issue.
At first she seemed to care. She honestly didn't do anything to change our situation, but she at least said she wanted it to. She then felt it necessary to tell me how much her and her ex and sex even though I didn't ask. It was WAY more then she ever had sex with me. She got mad that I cared. It crushed me. Don't get me wrong, no one should ever have sex with someone if they don't want to, but I'm not sure what's worse to think about; that she wanted him more or that she was willing to more to make sure he was happy.
I asked her to try initiating sex more since I now had zero confidence. Sex not only didn't happen anymore often, but her idea of initiating sex on occasion was getting in bed and saying, "I think we should have sex." I think?! She doesn't know? Nothing physical, that was up to me.
Over the last 2 years of our relationship, this morphed into her being apathetic towards the whole relationship. She said she loved me. She said she wanted to get married. But she didn't put any effort into us. She didn't seem to care about working on anything.
Eventually I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt abandoned and alone. Now I don't know how to move on. I want too, but I never had much confidence when it came women and this has left me with none. Any suggestions on how to get some confidence and move on? | Broke up with long time girlfriend due to rejection and feeling unwanted. Left with no confidence and don't know how to move on. Suggestions would be nice! |
t3_3776hx | relationships | I [m23] am seriously confused if a girl [f22] is legitimately busy or just brushing me off. | So I went on a first date with a girl that I met through a mutual friend a week and a half ago and it went quite well overall. We stayed longer than planned and conversation came mostly naturally. She messaged me after the date thanking me for the good night and we agreed we'd like to do it again soon. I suggested we hang out again at a gathering I was going to at a mutual friends place the following week and she said she'd try and make it.
A few days later I messaged her again asking how she was and later on if she'd like to hang out again soon. She said she was really busy at the moment and she would try and come to the gathering otherwise that we should go out again in a week but would let me know. Well the gathering was today and I never heard from her, but I posted a photo on facebook earlier today and she was commenting on it complimenting what I was doing.
It's been almost a week since we've actually spoken and I have no clue what is going on. It seems odd that she'd be commenting on my facebook if she didn't want to give me the wrong idea given she knows I want to see her again. I figure I'll message her again soon and just see how she's going, I know she is actually busy at the moment with school, sport and work, but to say that she'd let me know if she could make the gathering or not and then not message me at all seems out of line with the rest of the stuff she's doing, unless I was meant to message her and ask if she was likely to make it. What do you guys think? | went on date with girl, went well, she is busy and we haven't organised a second date over a week later, is she not interested? |
t3_2otmn1 | relationships | Should I [16M] talk to her [17F] over Facebook? | Hey Reddit!
So recently I went to perform with other high school juniors and seniors at a concert, and I met this really cute girl, but unfortunately, I did not have the balls to approach her in person and talk to her (yes I know and I regret it), and instead just kind of gazed from afar.
After coming home from the performance, I found her on Facebook, and friended her. She accepted my friend request, to my surprise, because I thought she didn't know my name. Anyways, after scrolling through her Facebook, I realized that I really do like this girl and I'm hoping for a relationship with her.
Anyways, I know I need to at least strike up a conversation with her to have anything of a chance, but I have absolutely no idea of what to say, considering I didn't even think she knew I existed. I guess my question is what should I say to her over Facebook without ever having talked to her in person before? | Met a really cute girl, didn't have the balls to talk to her, regretting that decision, now don't know what to say and how to say it over facebook (with the ultimate goal of getting into a relationship?) |
t3_4nvvzo | relationships | Just scheduled therapy for myself (23F). Looked up my therapist, and she is a different ethnicity than I am. How do I get over this? | Throwaway because I'm embarrassed and ashamed.
I scheduled an appointment for today, so I only have a few hours to get over this. I know this is ridiculous and not fair at all, but I am worried that because of our different races, I'm not going to be able to relate to her. I understand that a therapist is a therapist, and their similarities to you do not equate to being a good therapist, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I was not expecting someone of a different ethnicity...This is so embarrassing. I'd love if others could weigh in, especially if they've worked through something similar. | Therapist is different ethnicity than I am and I'm trying to work through my discomfort with this before my session today. |
t3_402yr0 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of a year, How to communicate that I feel I'm putting a lot more effort in this relationship | I've been with my bf for a year. We're in love, we're thinking of a future together, we moved in together 4 months ago...BUT.
I feel that I am doing a lot of effort to make him happy, because I love him and seeing him happy makes me happy. But on the other side he is fine with making me happy as long as it does not require too much effort.
In the end it seems to me like I do most of the chores and of what I would call "attempts to bond". Pleasuring him, little surprises, ironing his shirts so he doesn't have too, etc.
But more and more I feel like he's just not, you know, into doing much about me. What spouted this post is that a few days ago, we were both starting work after the Christmas holidays and both having a bad day, so when I got home I made him a set of little "sex game" cards, one of which being "I'm your slave for the day". We talked about it today and he had ton of ideas buy when I jokingly mentioned that the day after he uses the card I'd like him to be caring of me (you know, cuddly and loving and maybe since I do pretty much all the chorea all the time, do some himself) he laughed and just said "no".
Anyways I want to have a conversation with him about this. An adult conversation about how I feel and the state of things and see if we can share the chores better and I'm looking for ways to communicate this without seeming like a, well, a needy bitch.
Sorry for any English mistakes, I'm very very french. | I feel like I do a lot of efforts to make my bf happy but he's fine with making me happy as long as it does not require effort. How to communicate this best to him? |
t3_2724xt | relationships | Boyfriend [M21] routinely sleeps for 12+ hours. Is this normal? | My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year. We are both studying at the moment in different states, but manage to see each other a couple of times a month. When we are together we have a wonderful time, go out and have fun, and (I feel I should stress this), his lifestyle is completely normal when I am there, and does not hinder what we get up to.
However, when we are apart this is not the case. We argue more frequently, essentially because we have completely different lives. I get up at about 9/10am every day, go to bed around midnight. He, on the other hand, goes to bed (generally) around 5am and gets up at 5pm. He has very few lessons a week and routinely misses almost all of them. Last night he slept from 4am til 7pm. This strikes me as very abnormal. He smokes a lot if marijuana, and I don't know if this is part of the issue. I also don't know if this lifestyle is just the norm. My friends like to have fun but are also very motivated, so I don't experience the same life he does. The lack of motivation on his behalf is becoming a source of tension in my mind too coz I'm worried that soon we're gonna be in very different places in our lives. He is unconcerned by anything that isn't weed, sometimes I feel this includes our relationship. We are long distance and I feel he makes the bare minimum effort.
But essentially, and most importantly, I don't know whether I should be concerned for him and about him. I am, but whenever I bring it up he tells me not to be. I don't know how to tackle this, or even whether I should - its his life, and I'm not his mom.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm not really sure whether our relationship has an expiry date because of this. Apart from this, we have a lovely relationship, and I haven't loved anyone like this before. Has anyone has a similar situation with an SO that has continued/ended?
Thanks in advance! | boyfriend stays up late, smokes a lot of dope, has no motivation for anything. I am not like this. Is this normal? Should I be concerned? |
t3_czb48 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the thing that you are most aggrivated about probably not seeing in your lifetime? | For me, I'd definitely have to say it's space travel. Ever since I was a very small child I've always been fascinated with the stars and all things related to them in the cosmos and on Earth, so obviously I became a complete sci-fi geek.
As much as I love all the other shows like Stargate, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica (FRAK YEAH!), Star Wars and so on, I think I'd have to say that my favourite, and most wished for future of the human race is that of the Star Trek universe.
A federation of many planets, and many species exploring the cosmos together, working together for the greater good - it just doesn't get any better than that to me. At the very least we'd have humans overcoming obvious technological, social and political goals to explore the cosmos together in harmony.
Yet, now that I'm beginning to properly grow up (I'm 19, oh can you feel the angst?) I feel like that dream, that goal, couldn't be any further away. I know it's a VERY optimistic dream to begin with, but it makes me very sad knowing I'll never see this, and realising that we may just kill ourselves long before we even have the chance to try.
We are stardust. It's time for us to return to our stellar nursery to be born again. | So reddit, what is the thing that you are most aggrivated about probably not seeing in your lifetime? Mine is space exploration, and the human colonisation of the cosmos. |
t3_2fp9vx | relationships | Me [22 M] can't get over GF [23] after nearly 8 months. | We were together nearly two years, before the two year mark we broke up due to complications. (id like to state we were long distance but had seen each other regularly through out our time being together, she being from NZ and me from AUS)
Its be nearly 8 months and I can't stop thinking about her. There are times where i think about her and just want to hold her and love her. Then there are times that I just absolutely hate her for what she put me through. Everywhere i look, i see her and its really affecting me. Especially my studies. I should be studying now but can't get her out of my head. Ive been trying to go out as much as possible, I hit the gym nearly 5 times a week. But still it doesn't work. Ive tried getting girls numbers and talking to them and stuff but none of them want anything to do with me. I have a really really really low self esteem because of it.
What do i do? She has blocked me off Facebook and I've thrown out everything that reminds me of her, including emails as texts and her number etc. I just want to email her and say something but I don't know what to say? And I'm really afraid that if i do email her she won't reply.
Theres more but i don't want to make it too long for you guys.
Thank you everyone for your help. | Can not get over GF after 8 months, going gym, trying to keep busy. Does not help get her out of my head. |
t3_w3hkp | relationships | Two crazy kids want to stay together in the same country, but don't want to get married. What to do? | Background: My partner (male, 22) and I (female, 21) have been dating for 4 years. We've lived in his parents house for a year and a half, and in their granny flat for about 4 months.
Our relationship is going very well. I love him and his family, we cohabit very well, we're sharing a bank account to pay for rent and food, we've been through a lot together and it seems like there's no end in sight. I can't really emphasise enough that our relationship (despite our young age) seems to be marriage material.
BUT.
I am not a citizen of the country we're living in (Australia), and when my degree is over at the beginning of next year I will need to return to my home country (USA).
We've done our research and it seems like our only option for me to stay with him in Australia for the long-term is to get married. Other options are expensive (and, being poor students, neither of us has that much money) and temporary. He says he's willing to come to the US with me, but we haven't investigated whether that's possible or not, and when push comes to shove I don't know that he would be ready to be that far away from his family.
Neither of us feels ready to get married: he wants to be more independent from his parents before he considers it, and I have reservations about the concept of marriage. Plus we're young. Plus plus, we also have a difference of opinion about the future (as far as where to live, how many kids, etc. All things that I'm willing to compromise on).
This is something that has been stressing me out for the past couple of years, and it's coming to a head very soon. I don't know what to do, and I would really appreciate any advice and anecdotes that can help. | Two crazy kids want to stay together in the same country, but don't want to get married. What to do? |
t3_tvnyf | relationship_advice | No Experience. Complex problem. May seem a bit "high school" but i really need help. | So Last year i met this amazing girl who i completely fell for, to cut a long story short i crashed and burned. I was really hurting, but I'd pretty much recovered by last a few months ago, that was until i met this new girl. I really didn't want a repeat of last year so i was somewhat more forward. i asked her to my formal (prom for you Americans) and she said yes. since then things have been up and down, I kissed her at a party but that ended awkwardly and last night we where at another party and she would barely talk to me, it feels like she's trying not to hurt my feelings but is reluctant to talk to me about how i feel.
I've decided that i just want to be friends with her despite the fact i'm in love with her but i think she thinks i want to go out with her and doesnt't know how to let me down.
Please help. | i like a girl but i don't want a relationship, she knows i like her and want's to let me down gently |
t3_d7ehu | AskReddit | Has anyone had a legit near-death experience? | I'm applying to med school, and have been writing lots of application essays about overcoming hardship. The one story that I keep telling over and over was this incredible healthcare internship I had in Sierra Leone. While it wasn't quite near death, it was very close. Here's an excerpt from my essay:
"Living in the rural village of Jokibu, Sierra Leone was the most physically and emotionally demanding three months of my life. I ate the same two daily meals as the villagers. The little meat available was goat, monkey, and cuttingrass, which we had to slaughter ourselves. There were bats living in the bottom of the latrines, and spiders the size of my fist living in the hut. Malaria-bearing mosquitoes were ubiquitous; many infants contracted uncontrollable fevers. Thousands of army ants, capable of stripping an elephant to its bare bones in hours, poured across the bush paths. I contracted three large cysts (Furunculoid Myiasis) that contained larval Tumbu flies, and had only toothpaste to coax the worms out. Alone in the villages with only the three other interns, for the first time in my life I experienced being truly vulnerable." | I had a tough time in Sierra Leone, but not quite near-death. Has anyone had a near-death experience? If so, what was it? |
t3_1u56hu | relationships | I [22/F] don't know what's going on with my boyfriend [22/M] | For the past week my boyfriend has been ditching me. He usually picks me up and we go to his house and watch movies and hang out, but lately he has been going with his friends. I don't mind that he hangs out with them but he says that we will hang out and then stops texting me.
He comes up with an excuse that he doesn't like to drive at night but he drives out to another city to hang out with his friends. I get a little hurt but I understand that he wants to spend time with his friends. Every morning when he gets home he will call me and tell me we can hang out later that night, but then the same thing happens.
It's new years and we had made plans to hang out after our family dinners and he just told me that we couldn't hang out because he was going with his friends. I made no other plans and now I'm home alone and I feel like shit. When I replied " :( okay" he blew up and said that I was such a downer and I made him feel bad and I didn't even know what to say.
I don't know what to make of this. I haven't seen him in a week and he leaves soon for school. I feel like shit on New Year's Eve and I resent him but I don't know if I'm overreacting.
Guys and Gals of reddit, what do I do? I don't know if I'm just being clingy or what's going on. I need your advice. | My boyfriend has been ditching me, he cancelled our New Year's plans and makes me feel bad for being upset. Please help. |
t3_47kscj | relationships | My (30F) friend (37F) of 9 years is upset that I didn't spend enough on her wedding gift | **IMPORTANT | I only spent about $25 on my friend's wedding gift and she was offended. Not sure if I owe her a better gift or if she's in the wrong and I should try to just move on from this. |
t3_1nohkr | relationships | Me [25 M] girlfriend [23 F], 2 years - destroyed my most prized possession. | Sorry for the throwaway but I know my girlfriend does use Reddit quite a bit and the ambiguity of the title will hopefully make her skip it...because of that, the numbers have been fudged by a few years but I don't think that's against the rules?
I love my girlfriend but a few hours ago we had a bit of an argument about money, the usual stuff - we're a couple of hundred up from our budget etc - I'm sure most couples go through it. From this came her suggestion to sell my desktop computer "since you only need a laptop" - note that I have owned this computer for 10 years and built it myself.
It's had a few upgrades, it's still running mainly the same stuff as it was 10 years ago, I take good care of it but knew I wouldn't get much money for it and it means more than it's monetary value to me anyway, I learnt to code on this machine, got my foot in the career path I wanted thanks to it.
Cue massive argument, she says I spend too long on the PC (I work from home) and it means more to me than her (it doesn't, I do love her and my computer is just a computer after all)
I went out for a smoke to cool off, came back in to my computer's case off and a cup of water thrown over the internals - I was enraged, I said stuff I shouldn't have, all she had to say was "You said you cared about me more, you shouldn't even be mad, this proves you care about the PC more"
Is it stupid to be annoyed over this? Am I blowing this way out of proportion? I don't even think I can look at her without becoming enraged right now... I've never had many friends throughout my childhood, I relied on the internet and that computer for most of my late teenage years and adult life, it just feels like she's destroyed a piece of me... | I don't even know Reddit, I feel like my girlfriend just destroyed my best friend - I might be a bit tech oriented but I don't even know what came over her to destroy it... |
t3_2arlf8 | relationship_advice | I'm 23M, deeply loves my 23F GF, but want to "see" something else. What to do? | Here is the situation :
I'm 23, my girlfriend is, too. We met very young, at 16/17, we are together since more than 5 years and live together since a couple of years.
She is my only sexual partner, and always has been the only one. She is pretty open-minded about what we do, but she had been very clear : she doesn't want to try something with other people, other couples, etc. Sometimes she asks things after sex like "You're mine only, ok?", saying that she is mine and I'm yours, and she expressed that she doesn't understand threesome etc.
I'm not sure if she's honest, but I guess so. The thing is, I'm a bit frustrated that she is the only sexual partner I had. I want to try it with another girl. I ofter watch girls, and have fantasies. I would like to try things with more people too.
The fact is that she doesn't want to do that, but doesn't know I want to. I know it will hurt her, I know her pretty well, and she isn't self confident, so if I tell her that she will think I will cheat on her. She is a bit jealous. Nothing much, but she likes to see who is this girl talking to me on Facebook, and what interesting things she has to say to me, etc.
I don't want to cheat on her, because I think that will be a terrible decision, as I love her. But I'm sexually frustrated as I want to have sex with other girls (never had), or other couples, and she doesn't want that. What to do ? Thanks! | I love my GF, she has been my only sex partner in all my life. Want to try another sex partner, my gf doesn't and I don't want to hurt her by cheating on her. What to do? |
t3_3umhbi | relationships | Me [30 M] with my ex [27F], do I get back with her because it's the smart thing to do? | So back story, I was with this girl for a year and we had a great time together, after about 6 months things started 'losing the spark' we have a few things in common but no tv/movies in common which made relaxing at night always a compromise. Sex was good at the start but got very vanilla quick, which I'm probably to blame as I've never been the most open intimately. I'm sure things can change in the bedroom if I put the effort in, but some things that bugged me were that she would always leave the room to get changed, and after sex clothes went on right away. My best guess is that she's dealing with body image issues (average body type).
My other issue is that she's a yes women, would do anything I wanted to make me happy, which seems crazy that I don't want that. But I want someone who actively speaks thier mind. We never fought due to this or even had the slightest disagreement. I tried communicating that I need some push back, or her opinions on things, but didn't last for more then a night.
Eventually I ended it with her as I was noticing myself looking at other girls and that I wwasn't satisfied in our relationship. I think we're both a little at fault, communication could have been better.
I've been contemplating getting back with her as I feel like it's the smart thing to do, she will always be loyal, very successful, a great partner other then a little boring. (doesn't like to drink/party/stay up. Past 10), which I quite enjoy. Are these things easily overcome? Is it alright to have these things not in common. I find myself attracted more and more to confident independent women lately. I guess I just don't know weather to choose what's smart or what I really desire. | ex gf and I have a lot of differences, do I get with her cause she would be a genuine good life partner. |
t3_j75uz | AskReddit | So, my house was broken into & it was very suspicious if it was my ex or not... | Throwaway account...
So, I broke up with my ex of many years a little over a month ago. He never had a job, was mentally abusive (although we did have our good days) and things just got worse & worse. I finally got up the nerve to tell him it was over. He moved out without a fuss & had all of his stuff packed within a week (while I stayed elsewhere). He has moved back in with his mother, no job, no money, and his mother is poor too.
About a week ago my house was broken into while I was at work. At first I couldn't even tell because nothing looked out of place at all. The back door had been pried open & the slide lock was broken. No drawers were rifled, the medicine cabinet wasn't disheveled. Nothing was out of place.
Items taken were: a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator, my camera (a 4 year old Nikon Coolpix with the battery housing held together with tape), my cigarette rolling machine and my tobacco. The shelve on my headboard was slightly opened, but my ipod and jewelry were still on my bedside table.
So, it seems there is a high possibility it was him. Maybe not, but it is just too weird.
The officer was able to get a fresh fingerprint off the backdoor. A detective called me the other day & asked if I wanted to process it. If I say yes, and it was him, it is a felony. His life could be wrecked.
I gave him an opportunity to own up to it & apologize, but he denies it.
My Aunt convinced me today to have the fingerprint processed. She said victims of abuse often feel guilty, and if it was him, he shouldn't get away with it.
Did I do the right thing? I feel a bit guilty if it was him, because I really wanted him to move on & have a decent life. | House broken into, suspect that it may have been wacko ex. Decided to follow through with investigation. If it was him he is in deep do-do. Did I do the right thing? |
t3_3ibwr5 | AskDocs | Lung problems post-sinus infection, could be related to nodules | First things first; I am a 21 year old female who is 4'10'' grossly overweight. I have always have problems with my sinuses due to pressure from an inverted crossbite, so sinus infections always hit me very hard. I contracted one a couple of months ago; typically, I have the most problems with my nose because of my jaw, but this time I experienced a lot of chest pain. Long after the ear/nose/throat problems and antibiotics ended, I am still coughing up blood occasionally. It is common for overweight people to have issues breathing, but I'm not sure the blood is normal regardless. I do not have diabetes or any apparent medical weight-related problems yet.
A couple of years back (Oct 2013), I was in the ER for flank pain (my right side) for which I received no formal cause. While trying to diagnose the problem, I received a CT scan that spanned from my lower abdomen to the lower half of my lungs. My lungs revealed that I had some nodules- roughly .5cm apiece. I believe there were four total. The ER doctor who went over the scan with me stated that these could be cancer or fungus. Since moving to Philadelphia from Memphis in 2012, I have had trouble breathing in the dead of northeastern winters, so I am making a half-hearted assumption that is also related. I know that Memphis has cleaner air than Philly, but fungal infections are more common there (not *common*, since they are rare to begin with, but moreso than in Philly). I do not smoke cigarettes, though I did for roughly 3 months several years back. I currently smoke marijuana very rarely and vape occasionally.
With all of this information in mind, I have decided I'm miserable and worried enough to follow up. What steps should I take to do so (preferably insurance approved), and what kind of doctor(s) should I see? At the moment, I'm working on the weight portion, since that will help breathing issues among other things.
Anyone who has experiences with nodules, fungal or cancerous, I would love to hear your input as well. Do you have things that you do for day to day comfort? | still coughing up blood post sinus infection, possibly related to lung nodules. Please advise on next steps. I will not be Breaking Bad if this ends up being cancer. |
t3_3uykat | tifu | Reddit, TIFU by setting a steak on fire and having the fire department come out. | So, there I was making a nice pan cooked steak and oven fries for my family when I realized that my attempts at searing the steak were not going well. I messaged a pic to my husband to see WTF was up with all the smoke, and in paying attention to the texting I didn't notice immediately that the steak had really bumped it up a notch with the smoking. So, I turn the temperature down and attempt to salvage what was a nice steak. So far, it is smoking an unholy amount and it is still quite below rare. Then the fire alarm starts going off, which OMG, is SO incredibly loud. Rush around opening doors and windows, turning fans on etc. (Oops, left the steak on the stove in my panic!)
The alarm company calls my husband first, but apparently he missed the call. So, by the time they call me I think I have everything under control, although it is still SO smokey in this house. Ugh. Then, my phone rings and it is the alarm company telling me to expect the local FD. Awesome.
Me and the kids go to meet the fire dept on the porch to let them know that we're Ok and I'm just an idiot who can't cook steak. Maybe 1 minute later (excellent response time, FD), here they come, lights and sirens. I'm So apologetic and feel like an idiot, they're doing their best to assure me it happens all the time. They have to come in and check and all 4 of them are immediately laughing (but trying not to) at how much smoke my house has manage to accumulate. And then we notice that my son (3 yo) who is excitedly talking to them, is only wearing underoos.
Cue the awkward laughs and my red face trying to explain this disaster. They were super pleasant, but I'm 99% sure they were trying not to bust a gut at my FU. | burnt a steak so bad the FD had to come, discover my kid in only his underoos as if it is no big thing. Still so embarrassed. |
t3_13wld8 | relationships | Why isn't he into me? | This has been a problem since we've started dating. My boyfriend(23) and I(21) have been dating for a year and a half. At the start of the relationship we always had sex every day. Then it went from about 4 days, to (if I'm lucky) 1 day a week. I recently had talked to him about this issue and he said "he's just not that horny all the time", which is understandable, but he doesn't ever try to do anything for me. We hear our roommates have sex ALOT, and he still doesn't get the message to pleasure me! Any advice to get him more in the mood?
I'm not really into dressing up in the bedroom as i'm quite self conscious. When I offer him a blow job, he most of the time says no and pushes me away. | Been with bf year and a half. He's not interested in sex at all. Ran outta ideas to put him in the mood |
t3_2crqdv | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [17F] of 1 month, had first argument, and unsure how I should proceed. | So I am in a long distance relationship with one of my good friends, and we just had our first argument. (Note: never been in a relationship before)
She really hates reddit because of various things like how everyone she know who uses it has become atheist. She doesnt hate atheism necessarily, but the idea that reddit is a hateful echo chamber. She likes tumblrs community and how they are incredibly nice. I also think redditors are very nice but i feel like in trying to change her view ive forced it on her. One thing she didnt like was how if she makes an accusation at reddit and i say it started on tumblr, she cant disagree since she doesnt know about reddit.
I am unsure of whether or not this was something about my behavior and i do not know how to proceed. Should i never mention the sites again? Or should i just use reddit sometimes when we have the opportunity to visit?
Bonus questions!: she doesnt like vidya either besides mario kart. Would trying to play some shooters with her be too forceful?
Shes also very stoic, and she knows this. What can i do to make it easier for her? | GF hates reddit, hates me talking about reddit and tumblr. Got mad bc cant dispute my claims. Also has trouble communicating feelings sometimes. What do i do abd how can i help her? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.