id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_1d16em | AskReddit | What's the most money getting too drunk and doing something stupid has ever cost you? | So last night, I decided to a do little whiskey drinking before going to a concert that was a relatively close bike ride away. Turns out I drank a little too much, and after spending an additional $20 at the venue on more alcohol, I was white boy wasted.
As my two friends and I were leaving, I drunkenly began trying to unlock my bike (I was going to walk it home, or at least my friends were going to make me walk it home). I began trying to unlock it with my work cabinet key, which in my defense does look similar to the bike key. Somehow in my drunken stupidity, I don't realize this is the wrong key and break it off inside the lock trying to open it.
My friends, guessing that I broke my bike key and the situation was hopeless, take me home. This morning before work, I walked all the way back to the venue to find it locked up, but missing both tires, the seat rod (with tail light), and the seat. Manage to pull out the broken key piece with a paperclip and unlock the bike, then had to carry it to a bus stop and take it to a bike shop. All in all, the replacement parts cost are looking like they'll cost me more than $300 ($80 for each wheel, $30 for each tire, $40 for seat, $25 for seat rod, and then assembly cost).
I was too drunk to remember watching the band I actually bought the tickets to see. | I got drunk and broke my bike lock and had to leave the bike overnight, resulting in it getting stripped and costing me $300 to replace the parts. |
t3_2jdxx8 | askwomenadvice | the girl i was with [19f] ended things with me [21m] and I'm unsure why | Before I begin, I just want to say I'm not trying to win her back, I accept that it's ended, but due to the circumstances I can't help but keep wondering about how everything happened.
Basically we were together for about 6 months. We hit it off right away and after a month or so we both said we were only interested in seeing each other. It stayed that way for awhile and everything was fine. I felt no need to have the "what are we" talk as I felt comfortable how we were going, and it seemed like she did too.
Well after a drunken disagreement one night and her asking me what she was to me, for the first time I told her that I see her as my girlfriend and reaffirmed that I wanted to be with her. That answer made her happy, but the next day when I called her my girlfriend she told me she wasn't sure about that yet, wanting to "see how it goes". Ends it a couple days later, giving generic breakup excuses, it's me not you, i don't know what i want, i still want to be friends, etc.
I know relationships end all the time and some things aren't meant to be. But days before things ended she was calling me perfect and telling me how much she liked me and didn't want to share me, etc. Idk I just don't get it. Just looking for a woman's perspective and some input from you girls. Thanks | was with a girl for awhile, things going great, wanted to make it official, seems like she did too, ends it soon after we have the "lets make it official" conversation |
t3_11t7la | relationships | installed a app in case my phone got stolen, come to find out that my GF[23] has been snooping on my phone for a while now! | [I'm 25 and in Pharmacy School] Ok, I've read a bunch of "SO snooped on me" in this great reddit. My questions is what do I do? I caught her a while back (about a year), snooping when she brought up a conversation I has with a girl classmate over a class assignment. She said she would never do it again.
About a month ago I installed GotchYa, in case my phone got stolen. It takes pictures of the person trying to unlock the phone plus GPS locating. Well its been a month since i've installed it and 5 pictures have been recorded of her accessing my phone... Looking at the time stamps on the photos, they are all when I am sleeping (I have a very set sleeping schedule). I even went so far to make a distinct clean patter with the oil on the smartphone screen before I go to bed, and in the morning you can see all kinds of swipe marks on it.
We/ve been together for two years now, and live together... Our fights have always come down to her not trusting me. I'm the nice guy that always seems to finish last!!! I never cheated on anyone and I never will. What do I do? I'm sick of her not trusting me, and I constantly feel like i'm under investigation by her... The things that is the hard part is we have a lease together for about 8 more months :/ | Accidentally caught GF with smartphone app snooping through phone after she swore she wouldn't when I caught her a year ago doing it. What do I do? |
t3_4vm50b | relationships | My [25 M] sister [22 F] is pushing me to hating her with her attitude, and i'm worried she will ruin upcoming holiday | So my sister is pushing me towards hating her. And it's purely down to the major attitude problem she has with me and our parents.
It's been getting steadily worse for a couple of years now but has gotten really bad in the last 6 months or so. I could maybe chalk it up to restlessness living at home as we're both saving for a place of our own but there's no excuse for the way she goes off.
She speaks to me and our parents like dirt. Thinks she knows everything, butts in with unwanted opinions and gets offended if we don't treat it as gospel, is majorly sarcastic to each of us, talks to me like i'm a clueless kid.
I sometimes think she looks for and enjoys confrontation. If she doesn't get what she wants right away, or my parents say they can't take her somewhere, she'll pick and pick away with snide little catty comments until one of us snaps and says something back, then she'll play the victim card and turn on the waterworks.
She isn't like this with any of her friends, just with us.
When my mum sat her down to discuss how her behavior upset and offended us, my sister - no word of a lie - said that it "wasn't her problem", and if we were so offended we needed to "get over it and stop being so sensitive".
I'm seriously concerned that she will ruin the upcoming family vacation, the first one in years i've been able to either afford or have the time to go on with my family, with her behavior. She's already caused arguments about the destination being not where she wanted to go before she settled down and decided she was ok with it after all.
The way she acts is pushing me towards hating her and i'm already 90% sure that when we both do move out into places of our own i'm going total NC with her.
My question is, how can I possibly get through to her that it's her behavior that's causing all the arguments, and that if she doesn't change her ways she risks alienating her family? | sister has a major attitude problem with the family, concerned she will ruin upcoming family vacation, and she won't listen when we try to talk |
t3_27oelv | relationships | Me [23F] with my now exbf [30M] 2.5yrs, I cheated and don't feel any remorse. | I thought I had to choose between being with someone who loves me and accepts me for who I am or someone I am sexually attracted to. So I finally decided to date my best friend, who I had no interest in sexually.
I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, we were planning on getting engaged. Now that I think back on it, I was with him out of complacency.
It isn't really any surprise that the relationship ended, or that I cheated on him with someone who sees me for who I am, likes it, and turns me on like none other. He is unaware that I cheated on him and I don't really have any intention of telling him.
Since we broke up I haven't thought of him, I haven't felt any kind of sadness of having lost the relationship, or anything. Is it ever normal to feel no remorse for cheating on someone you love, or am I just terrible at being a human being? | Cheated on the man I thought I was going to marry, broke up with him for reasons other than infedility (he doesn't know), and don't feel any sense of remorse. Is this in any way normal? |
t3_37qium | tifu | TIFU: Why I'll take a dump in the road instead of the washroom. | This happened yesterday, I posted it yesterday but it was removed for the content.
I'm still scared shitless. Damn. Here we go.
I entered the washroom because I urgently needed to take a dump. And there it was.
Fucking cockroaches.
I'm usually dead scared of them, and whenever I see one I call my mom to kill it.(Laugh all you want, those motherfuckers climbed on my head once)
But I really needed to take that dump, so I took some tissue paper and picked that Lil' shit. Flushed the Lil' shit. Shat. In between my shit. That Lil' shit somehow climbed back, waddled through my shit and climbed up my ass.
I'm still shuddering. I stood up and let out a supersonic shriek and went absolutely bonkers. I grabbed toilet paper and randomly jammed it around my ass. The first two times it went dangerously close to the hole. I even got shit on my hand. Once I got that asshole, I flushed him/her for about 200 hours.
After leaving the washroom, visibly shaken, my mum asked, "what happened, IBurnedMyBalls?" After explaining, she went hysterical and couldn't stop laughing.
Just like my brother and my dad.
Great, I needed more reason to be the laughing stock, *again*
I will let random strangers watch me shit on the road, but I'm not shitting in the washroom again.
Its not going to go unheard in family gatherings.
All my embarrassing stories involve fucking shitting.
Fucking cockroach. | I went apeshit on my ass because the roach I flushed crawled its way back, waddled through my shit and climbed up to my ass |
t3_544ick | personalfinance | How to handle a weird roommate payment situation | This is something of a dumb problem and I think I already know the optimal solution but I'd still like some input.
I've been moving around a lot for a couple of years and last December I moved to a city with no branch of my local bank. Up until now this hasn't been a problem because I do pretty much all my banking online, even depositing checks.
Even more recently I got a roommate to help with the bills. He typically writes checks by going to the bank and getting a few checks from the cashier when he needs them. Here is the issue: because all those checks are functionally identical, the app on my phone I use to cash checks cannot tell these ones apart, so it thinks I'm trying duplicate deposits(If you're wondering, yes, the first check worked fine but he had the money in his savings rather than checking so it bounced). I've talked to my bank and the answer is that, in this scenario I am basically SOL. He has still been paying rent(he's a server. Has a decent amount of cash on hand). I've suggested he order a check book(I think this would be a good idea regardless of this situation) but this seems to be a nonstarter idea.
So my question is: Since I cannot force my roommate to make my life easier by getting a checkbook, what should I do so that I don't soon have a bunch of cash under my mattress. I've been hesitant to switch to a local bank because my current one has treated me well and it would be a hassle and I really don't want to have two banks.
My brain is telling me just to switch to something with a local branch as that would probably be smart regardless of this roommate situation. Its also super possible that I'm missing some other options. What do you think r/personalfinance? | For reasons, I can't deposit my roommates rent payments into my current bank account so it will be laying around as cash. What do I do? |
t3_1ho4je | relationship_advice | [22/m] I have a huge crush on this girl [18/f] I work with. Need help ASAP! | So there is this girl who I work with that I have fallen head over heels for. It started when she would randomly hit my butt or touch me. I ended up getting her number and we have been texting for about a month. We would just talk about random things like work, t.v., or whatever was on our minds.
One day, I decided that I was going to ask her on a date. Before I got a chance. some of my co-workers let slip that I liked her. I felt ashamed, and I dont know why. After work, we started texting (We both got off at different times). I told her that I wanted to tell her I liked her myself, and she told me that she does have a boyfriend. I felt like shit. I had no idea she had one, and told her. She said if she didn't, she would date me and asked if I wanted to be friends with her. I said yea, even though I wanted to be more than that.It seems that she might like me back, due to her behavior at work. Ill catch her looking at me while i'm working, and I just get this feeling that she might want to hang out or date.
It's been about 4 weeks since this happened. I still have strong feelings for her. We have continued to text/talk, but lately iv'e been wondering if I should just stop talking to her all together. It seems that she might like me back, due to her behavior at work. It's become hard just to see her and it makes me feel like shit knowing that she has a bf. I dont know what to do. | I have a major crush on a girl at work. We text alot and she told me she has a bf. Talking to her or seeing her has become very difficult so should I just stop talking to her or what? |
t3_4fyhxa | relationships | I [27M] mave a mutual attraction with a coworker [24F]. Talk me out of it. | So we work at a fairly medium-large size company, and she's in HR (I know) and I'm in engineering. Yesterday, our company threw a happy hour for Earth Day, and I went up to talk to her about some mundane stuff. I could tell she's attracted by the way she looks at me. It is something both of us feel but we don't say.
I left to catch the bus home, and a coworker of mine (who is on my team) was saying she asked my relationship status shortly after. It appears she's into me.
Now normally I would shrug this off.....but I've been in a bit of a lonely patch lately because of moving to a new place, trying to get rid of my old place, and working a lot. She is also gorgeous and sweet, the kind of beauty where you could be thinking about how you're making rent this month and she walks by and it all just disappears.
I know that you aren't supposed to "shit where you eat" so to say....but I feel like so much of our energy and life force goes into work, it is a very intimate part of our lives. I simply don't have much time to date these days and our society is build on isolating people. It has been tough.
I am a fairly attractive guy and live in a city, and if I had a bit more abundance in my dating life, this might not be as much of a problem. I'm not sure what to do. Do I ignore this and date outside of work, or potentially miss out on a great girl because of our ridiculous social norms? | I'm a lonely dude who has a mutual attraction with a beautiful coworker. Talk me out of potentially losing my job. |
t3_1vsvxi | travel | Europe- What to do on and off the train? | Hey /r/travel ! I have a dilemma. A friend and I are traveling to Europe for 40 nights in June- July and have already booked our hotels and apartments. We want to buy a Eurail Global (10 days in 2 months) pass but are completely lost on how to go about doing this, as it's our first time out of the country.
**Destinations/ Itinerary:**
Dublin>London>Paris>Amsterdam>Zurich (train to Lucerne)>Munich>Prague>Venice>Florence>Rome (discount jet back to Dublin)
First question, how soon do you suggest buying our Eurail pass and when should we book our travel days? We already have a full itinerary, so we can book them now if needed, because I've heard they fill up pretty fast.
Most of our accommodations are a 15 minute venture out of the city center and we are worried that we will easily get lost (take the wrong metro out, wrong bus, etc.) how will we know where to go after we get off of the train? We can't print directions ahead of time because some cities have several train stations and we won't know which one we will be going to with the Eurail.
Sorry if these are strange questions, I might be over thinking everything and it might just all fall into place once we get there. | When should we buy our Eurail tickets and book our travel days? Upon arrival, how can we navigate to our accommodations that are slightly out of the city center? |
t3_2i28q4 | relationships | My[22F] ultra-religious roommate[23F] does not like my boyfriend[22M] staying over on weekends. | I have known my roommate (roommate 1) for a few months. We both got into the same grad school, and we had a mutual friend[23F] (roommate 2) who also got into the same grad school. We both wanted to live with her so we decided to get a three bedroom apartment.
Roommate 1 is an extremely religious person which is great and I have no problem with.... She is just an ultra ultra conservative Catholic. Her and I have gotten along really well, and I have no problem with her, except that she does not want my boyfriend staying over..
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but I know that we will be married one day. He is always very courteous around my roommates and very respectful. He is never in their way, and is always extremely nice to them and is wondering how they are doing and if they need anything... stuff like that.
We live about an hour away from each other, and are pretty busy with school and work on the weekdays so the only time I get to see him is on the weekends. Usually I go over to his place as his roommate has no problem with me staying over. However, after just one time of him staying over, she immediately mentioned to me that she was very uncomfortable having him stay over and would prefer if he did not stay over anymore.
He has only stayed over one other time and I asked her days in advance if it was okay. She said that it would be okay only because the football game we were watching was ending late. By the way, roommate 2 has no problem with him staying over and actually asks when he is visiting again.
What should I do? And how should I address this issue? It i putting a lot of stress on me because I can not keep driving back and forth every weekend. | My super conservative roommate told me she does not want my longterm boyfriend, who lives an hour away, staying over on weekends |
t3_4by67m | relationship_advice | My boyfriend [18/m] can't handle my [20/f] relationship with my best friend [20/f] and I need help | Okay so basically, I've been best friends with her for years and been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He's never really liked her but in the last few months he has literally gotten to the point of rage whenever I talk about seeing her. This has only been since I moved away (we're long distance at the moment, but I moved to another country in January so now it's even further), I only found out how much he hates it. He like shakes and has kind of fits sometimes when I go out anywhere. Basically, my best friend booked tickets to come see me in May and he lost his shit, almost broke up with me and then calmed down but now I have to somehow tell her that she can't come now. I came back to my home country on Wednesday and she surprised me at the airport and he freaked out saying that she's trying to copy him and that she's taking everything away from him and he sprained his hand punching a wall. He wants me to cut contact with her. I don't know what to do, because she is so oblivious to the fact that he is like this and she is so excited to come visit me. How do I get him to calm down and how do I tell her that she can't come? I'm so worried I'm going to lose them both. | my boyfriend hates my best friend for no reason so I have to find a way to tell her that she can't see me again after I leave the country without ruining the friendship. |
t3_2eo61f | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [15 F] just broke up. I need help. Is there something wrong with me? | So I met her like a year ago, I've swung from wanting to date her and not wanting to date her. We dated, but we just broke up after almost three months. My previous relationship lasted two months. It's pretty much that I lost interest in both relationships. I was getting bored and somewhat unwilling to change anything. My girlfriend and I didn't talk for like a week, then we broke up today.
My whole point is, is there something wrong with me? Should I be worried about the future? Why can't I hold a stable relationship? All my friends last way longer, like half a year, year, or even more. Am I just immature, or were my past two girlfriends just not right for me? | Can't seem to hold a relationship for more than three months. Should I be worried? What's wrong with me? |
t3_46hj0d | relationships | My [26F] ex[34F] won't stop coming into my work. Has anyone else delt with this before? | My ex and I were together for a total of 7 months. On New Year's Eve this year she broke up with me because we are in different places in our lives. (She is significantly older than me and doesn't want to wait for me to finish my masters before settling down.) She said some really hurtful things and I don't think getting back together is what's good for me.
I work as a barista at a local coffee shop and since 2 weeks after the break up she has been coming in at least once a week. Yes, she was a regular before, but she only comes in on days I work now despite schedule changes.
It upset me a lot the first time, and now it's just frustrating. It is mostly frustrating because I have been trying to get some of my things back, but she is always too busy or too sick to do it. Even after I text her and she's too sick I'll see her in the shop the next day.
My question is am I just being too sensitive about this? I have only ever been in long distance relationships and this is the first time I have dated someone from my area. Yes, seeing her was inevitable, but I haven't gone into her work at all out of respect. Has anyone else had an ex that has done this and how do you deal with it? | Ex broke up with me on New Years, too "sick" to exchange things, but keeps coming into my work. |
t3_4t1n1y | relationships | Am I [22F] being dramatic about my bf [22M] meeting his best female friend late at night? | My boyfriend and his best female friend had a falling out before we got together 2 years ago, but they ended up volunteering at the same place for a week recently and let the past go. I was happy for him at first, but the past month he's met up with her only in the evenings or at night, and I don't know why that irks me. It wouldn't bother me if they met by day, but in reality if he was doing something behind my back he could do it in the daytime too. I feel like if I told him this he would say I'm being paranoid. I just can't pinpoint why I'm disturbed by this, and I feel like I can't bring it up with him unless I have solid reasonings. | I can't figure out why it bothers me that my boyfriend only meets up with his best female friend late at night, and I'm not sure if I'm being irrational. |
t3_54e1kf | relationships | My [21F] dad [47M] died. His estranged father [60s-70sM] wants to be at the private dispersal of his ashes. | My father passed away very unexpectedly about a month ago. He was overseas at the time and it took some time to return his cremains. We have them and are currently determining a date to disperse his ashes.
My father's father abandoned his family when my dad was 7 years old. He never paid child support and popped in and out of his life for the entire duration of his life. My dad always would try to have a relationship with his father when he came back into the picture, but he would inevitably cut us out again. It hurt my dad, I know. Personally, I haven't spoken to my "grandfather", before the funeral, in 8 years.
At his funeral, a few weeks ago, my "grandfather" did come. I didn't care much for his presence but was calm, but my brother [19M] was very stressed out about it, and spoke to the pastor at length about how much he didn't like seeing him there.
Honestly, I didn't even want to include the man in the obituary, but my mom said we had to. We didn't invite him to walk in the processional into the service with us; he didn't say anything to us, but we know he was unhappy about that.
Now, he's saying he wants to be there when we disperse his ashes. I'm torn. I mean, my dad referred to the man as no more than a sperm donor at times - but always welcomed him every time he wanted to try to come back. Do I want to do that as well? He clearly didn't care much about my dad. I don't think anyone else that will be there (my mom, brother, aunts, uncles, and cousins) likes him. But is it right for us to point blank not invite him? | My dad's estranged father wants to come to the dispersal of his ashes, and we're torn on whether or not to let him. |
t3_q0mbs | AskReddit | What are some things that cheer you up, that may cheer me up? | So, I spent the entire day trying to think of what I could submit for my CakeDay and the only thing I can think of is how much of a shitty situation I'm in.
* Relationship of 6 years ends with her leaving me for her med school "buddy."
* I fractured my spine and herniated a disc which has temporarily (last 4-5 weeks) immobilized me.
* I lost my job(s) because of the injury.
* I can't work out which was helping me get over this relationship.
Now all I do is try to find good netflix w.i. movies to make me feel better...and scroll the never ending pages of Reddit -via RES | ?* Please, give me some creative/fun/nonworkout things to do while I'm stuck in my bed/room that can cheer me up and help me be positive about my life. PLEASE |
t3_3ewhoy | relationships | I [26M] with my wife [19F] I might be leaving her permanently unexpectedly back to my home country. | I left the military 6 months ago and stayed in Germany with my wife. My life sucks now in almost every aspect. My job is horrible, I'm being evicted from my house, I'm fighting with my wife.
Suddenly, I was notified by my old boss. He completed the work for my plane tickets. I could change it all in the blink of an eye. People would come pack my stuff, I'll hop on a plane, and everything will change. I will have a better job, be back in my home country, but lose a second wife. But we are always on the rocks anyway. I can't find a good job in Germany because no one wants to hire someone who can't speak fluent German. My classes start in September, but they will be expensive and require a lot of work. Idk what to do. Change it all or fight through it? | Can't decide if I want to stay in Germany or go back to the U.S. for free and lose my wife. |
t3_43ajtf | relationships | I'[M 19] in my [20 F]irst relationship and I got two questions about jealousy | Hey! So basically this is the first relationship I've ever been in and I hit gold on the first try. I'm dating this girl who's hot af and smart and nice and all that. And because of this, she also get's a lot of attention from guys and people flirt with her all the time.
So first question, a while ago she went out to this party (i was busy) and this person she's known for a couple weeks started shit talking me and saying how she should get with him. She defended me and yelled at him and left. But now, they are all fine and friends and sitting next to each other in class and stuff. Am I wrong to feel weird about this? I mean she can sit/talk with whoever but he clearly likes her and it just makes me feel weird.
Second, we set some rules, and I got a question about one rule. Before dating me she would get hit on all day, and just do crazy stuff and like a normal party girl. And now, she's with me and she asked me about flirting. Like what should she do if she gets hit on at a bar or somewhere, like should she be instantly cold towards them, get defensive, say she has a bf, or just go with it. And I said that it's fine and she can go with it since they're just harmless compliments and if he says anything like going home or stuff like that, thats where the line is drawn. Is that a normal answer? Because now, I kinda wish I said that she should instantly be cold towards someone as soon as they show the slightest interest or try to flirt but I know that's sort of asking a lot. And me saying that answer made her really happy (she loves feeling good and getting compliments) so I'm not really sure what to do | GF is friends with a person who likes her and shit talks me, is it wrong I don't like this or am I being paranoid? And what kind of limits are acceptable on flirting (In regards to my GF) |
t3_2mswpp | personalfinance | Personal recommendations for investing and personal finance books/resources | Hi all, i'm hoping to get some book (or other resource) recommendations for investing and personal finance that would speak to someone in my circumstances. I'm off to a pretty good start with my career and with debt, but i'm trying to look ahead regarding investment strategies for a middle class income. Here are some brief points that will hopefully give general idea of my circumstances:
- Engineer, 5 years out of college, no plans for grad. school (unless employer-sponsored)
- Married (to someone more frugal than myself), no kids yet (but probably not too long from now)
- No debt aside from mortgage (student loans paid off, wife's grad school loans paid for, both cars owned)
- 20+% equity in house, no pmi, long term home (i hope, moving really sucks)
- excellent credit
- contributing approximately 13% of income to 401k
To add to the points above, i have most of my non-retirement investments in high-yield online savings accounts, a few choice stocks, and then some fairly aggressive mutual funds. My wife will be graduating this December from a 2.5 year program (no more tuition! schwing!!), and should be making a fairly good middle class income, roughly equal to mine. For the past 2.5 years, we have lived on just my income.
Until now i have opted for easy, limited involvement investments that don't require too much risk (401k aside) because i haven't had an interest in micro-managing and potentially taking big loses (especially since my middle class income has only been steady within that past several years.) Going forward, i may be interested in being more involved in my investments if the potential seems worthwhile.
Any recommendations that would be well-tailored to someone like myself would be appreciate.
Thanks all! | fairly responsible, middle-class young adult, mortgage debt only, looking for resource recommendations to help increase personal involvement and return with future investments |
t3_vbc2s | loseit | SV and NSV? | So I know you guys are big MFP fans, but I tried using MFP but 1290 calories just doesn't cut it for me, sorry. I know I will need to address food eventually, but at the moment I am averaging about 2000 per day. I'm not eating out every day, or eating nothing but carbs and cheese, so I will work on perfecting my diet later.
Anyways, the last month or so I have been going to my martial art once per week instead of twice per week to get back into fitness. The last month, my weight has also stagnated around 199lbs. Last week was the first time since I've been back that I went to train my martial art twice in one week.
This morning I weighed myself, and I was at 193.5lbs. I weighed myself again, because that's a big number change, and as far as I can tell, the only difference has been that second workout session. It was still 193.5. I decided to weigh myself at the end of the day also, and average those two numbers, because like I said, it's not like I was working out Biggest Loser style. The end-of-the-day weight, right after I'd taken a big drink of water, was 196.
I am going to average the two and say I'm currently somewhere around 195, and reweigh myself in the morning to see if it's a fluke. But it would seem that I've re-started my metabolism (effing finally!) | SV, the number is going down, NSV, I've brought my metabolism back up after a stupid round of the MFP game. |
t3_2o7m6z | tifu | TIFU by farting in the shower with my pregnant girlfriend. | This had actually happened last night.
We got in from the freezing cold that froze us to the bone and decided a hot shower was needed to warm up.
The shower was going great, as now we are nice and warm. While I'm the process of doing what most people do and actually clean ourselves, I let out a nice fart that actually was three farts.
There were lols.
Then I smell something. I turn around to make sure because, you know, these things need confirmation.
Oh dear God.
After she asks if I just turned around to smell my fart, I turn to her and tell her that I am sorry. Now why would I apologize for smelling my own fart? I didn't. It was because I knew what was to come, for, you see, being pregnant has given her a weak stomach.
"Oh God why?"
She turned and began to retch, followed by a violent slap of the vomit hitting the tub. This went on for several minutes.
While it had fixed her upset stomach, now her muscles hurt from the effort forced upon her from my epic fart trilogy. | TIFU by farting in the shower, and the smell was so bad it made my pregnant girlfriend puke. |
t3_1pbcf7 | relationships | Me [24F] with my ex[24 M] broke up after 14 mo., 5 days later he is dating the girl he cheated on me with. how do I not care? | We had a long history of friendship and both made the leap to start dating last year. There were many bumps because we both brought in past rel. baggage and each have our own minor-moderate, chronic mental health struggles. We could support each other but we also brought each other down. Despite our challenges, we each felt a deep connection and similar values.
We had couples counseling per his request after a breakup this summer. He'd gone binge drinking and made poor decisions - horrible argument. That was always an issue - the drinking and the fact we broke up once.
So two weeks ago he found himself drunk very early in the day and went to a party, found himself attracted to someone else. Slept with her, didn't come home. He did come clean promptly the next day. He was adamant that he wanted to stay together.
This brings us to Tuesday. In a state of intoxication, he tells me it's over and cites adequate reasons (that I now agree with). I initially responded with panic and denial. Then came anger. Then came sadness. Yesterday I found out he is now dating the girl he cheated on me with (20 years old).
I am doing my best to put myself in his shoes and see him and this whole situation with understanding and compassion. I know my rage, jealousy, hurt, will not help me heal nor will it make him feel bad and show remorse. I mean he has apologized for things but there is that part of me that wants to see him hurt. But I'm not that kind of person. So I struggle with this mixed feelings.
How do I move on? Oh - and we live together. We'll be figuring out who is moving out soon but in the meantime....yeah. I felt like I was making progress with getting over the break-up but now that he is with that girl, I'm stuck feeling jealous that she is pretty and overall disrespected, lonely, lack of self-identity, etc. It makes me feel better and worse at the same time to think of them as skanky. | Boyfriend broke up with me and is now with girl he cheated on me with. We live together. How do I take the high road and stop caring about his new conquests? |
t3_13w6oz | AskReddit | How to deal with the urge to knock someone out in an office? | so last friday in an attempt to help out a co-worker i voluntered to deliver a switch to a branch office. in the interest of also helping a newly transferred coworker get accustomed to the job i asked if he wanted to tag along. this was done after he verified that he had no work pending.No so far so good. Before we left the guy (older close to 50 and still a tech) who was supposed to be in charge of training my newely transferred chum started making a fuss (he told my friend that he was not going to show him anything that day and the next monday his training would start). he started arguing that he is responsible for the welfare of my friend (he is not, only for his training) that i should ask my manager permission (which i did, in front of him). Only when he realized that i was in fact doing as he asked and spoke to my manager did he admit he had nothing planned for the day. So we make the trip, took about 1.5 hours and got back before 11. Today i find out that this guy is basically bad mouthing me with my friend and god knows who else. telling him that my work is inadequate and that i don't do things his way(because i know a more efficient faster way). i have been doing this job(network technician) for the past 5 years without a complaint for my customers. but it seems that this guy because i am more qualified than him and i am being ambitious by trying to move up in the company is trying to ruin my reputation.(he seriously bad mouths certificates and degrees saying that they are useless while at the same time placing his university grad daughter on a pedestal). if it wasn't for my wife reminding me that i should remain professional and not stoop to his level, i think i wold have busted his head open today. my question to you guys is have you ever been in a similar situation and how did you handle it? | asshole older coworker thinks he knows it all and proceeds to bad mouth me with my friends and other co-workers. |
t3_3fpwe7 | tifu | TIFU by drinking a protein shake | So my Staples store loves overnight freight jobs so it gets it all done in one sitting, because it's impossible to do it during storr hours with customers constantly badgering you and the hours are always tight. I am picked for the job every week. This week I forgot to pick up my dinner so I rush to the market on my break and couldn't decide what to eat, so I walked out with a protein drink, the ones in the fruit section with pasteurized milk and a fuck ton of protein and vitamins. A 33.8 ounce bottle and I downed it within minutes. Well I was not a very bright man. The moment I got back, I went straight to to lifting totes, so I started to feel pressure in my stomach. I ignored it thinking it's probably just gas and it will pass eventually. I kept working for about 20 mins struggling with not tooting. Went to the back room where i started to take a huge pile of printers,grabbed the big samsung printer off the pallet, was squatting, lift hard and shat kine as I realized I shat all over myself. Yes, all over the back room and some cardboard. The smell was horrid. Luckily I was the only one back there at the time since the rest of the crew was in the aisles taking care of the totes I gave em. So I did the shit walk to the bathroom, cleaned as much as I could. And went commando, back to clean my ass and then to the floor. I was able to clean a decent amount of it with a hazard kit we never use. I immediately felt better but it still smelt like ass in the back, and that's when the mod came to the back and she puked... into the nearby garbage can. I was too embarrassed to say the real cause so I lied and said the plumbing backed up. I'm still in commando with pants on. Just punched out now out of the store. Side note. Commando while working isn't as bad as you would think. | I drank protein shake, shat kine in the backroom pulling freight, mod puked cause of smell and I'm working commando style |
t3_4fm006 | relationships | How do I [27M] deal with a know-it-all Coworker [Late 50sM] that constantly makes comments towards my direction about technical issues but includes a comment after each issue? | I have this coworker that sits in front of me at work that constantly has technical/software related issues on his computer. He will look my direction and say something along the lines of "My Excel application is not showing the correct number. Can you come see why that is?" I go to his machine and try to provide some input as much as I can. During my troubleshooting he will make a comment like "My machine at home works perfectly but not here." Then adds "This stupid thing needs to be thrown out the window!". Every once in a while he will say "At my old job it would work so well when I used to do this same type of work back in the day".
The comments vary and I am making them as generic as possible but I feel like his call for my attention for help and him mentioning how he "used to" do things is some type of challenge to my intellect. It has gotten to the point where I am irritated when he looks my direction and I feel like giving him short answers just for him to figure things out himself.
I don't want to come off as rude but I really hate when older folk feel like they know more, yet they ask for help and when they get help, they make comments about how it was better back in the day. How do most people deal with this type of situation?
Thanks for listening! | Coworker asks for my technical expertise daily but provides his own solution while receiving assistance and I feel like I am being tested! |
t3_3vv2w3 | AskDocs | Vocal cord cyst (R) and polyp (L). Would you recommend surgery? What do you think the odds would be that my voice gets worse? (x-post /r/surgery) | Hi all!
* 28
* F
* 5'6"
* 190
**The issue**: I've had a very raspy voice my whole life which leads me to believe the cyst has always been there. Since I began my new job (or perhaps starting when I had laryngitis in March 2014) I've been losing my voice much more frequently due to my travel and presenting responsibilities. I've been in voice therapy for 5 months and taking my better care of my vocal cords: 15 minute silence breaks every 2 hours, using a mic when delivering a presentation, humidifier at home and at the office, steam inhaler, throat coat tea, 10 glasses of water a day. My symptoms have improved slightly but when I do begin to experience strain/losing my voice it takes me 2-3 days to recover to where I feel normal. I still feel like I don't have the stamina I once had. My cyst and polyp have not reduced in size during this time.
I'm at the point now where I am frustrated and need to decide whether or not to have surgery. I think I would like to have the surgery. But if you saw my vocal cords (below) and based on what I said above, **would you recommend surgery? What do you think the odds would be that my voice would get worse/not improve?**
**[Take a look at my cords!]
I also have a recording of me reading the rainbow passage which I can send if you comment or PM me. I also have a DVD recording (that the photos are stills from) of me singing, etc that I might try to put on youtube if that might change anything. | Been raspy all my life and have a cyst and polyp on my vocal cords. Haven't improved through therapy. Would you recommend surgery? Looking at the [pictures] do you think my voice would get worse? |
t3_2kvzrd | tifu | TIFU by trying to get a good nights sleep | Like most, this didn't happen today. I was 12 and was trying to go to sleep but it proved to be rather difficult because of the rainstorm outside my house. Frustrated, I tried to find something to cancel the noise, for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to use bb's ( ammo for a bb gun), so I put em in my ear and tested it out. Weirdly enough it didnt work, so I begin extracting these little balls from my ear, first one comes out fine but the second one decided to stay in and any attempts to remove only pushed it further inside. I panic for a minute but because I could still hear I just dismissed it. For the next 3 months it lived safely in my ear without doing harm. I began to get the flu and an ear infection, to the hospital I went completely forgetting about the bb. The doctor checks my ears and tells my grandmother and I that there seems to be some red swelled up ball (the bb was red), he couldn't identify it and told us to go see an ear specialist about it. I could not bring myself to tell my grandmother that I was stupid enough to put a bb in my ear even though the trip to the specialist would cost us a couple hundred dollars. The night before we left I went hardcore trying to get that bb out of my ear. After an hour the red waxy plastic ball emerged from my ear. I still didnt tell her that there was nothing wrong with me. We went to the specialist which was a while away and in a big city where I got to buy cool toys and the specialist found nothing wrong with me.
I wish I was making this shit up. | got bb stuck in my ear while trying to sleep, doctor thought it was serious ear infection. Got to go buy cool toys in the big city. |
t3_3sxqwa | tifu | Tifu my life | I'll be quick here
I'm 17 and live in Australia, in the past week I've ruined my life
So I went to the coast Monday, got back Wednesday, on Thursday I went to work, and I've had enough of my boss and he went off at me again, for nothing, he kept me waking up and getting to work every day as if I had a full time job, but only about 2 days of the week would he say I can stay and work, the other 3 I had to go back home, so I quit, Saturday morning I got a $2300 fine for doing 45km/h because I really needed to get home asap and I was on an empty back road, lost my license instantly, stupid of me, I know, but I needed to get there.
Then yesterday, I lost the love of my life, we got together 2 years and around 6 months ago, broke up about 4 months ago, and were finally about to back together, but I dropped her off this little care package with some presents and a Pokemon necklace and stuff in it, I thought she'd love it and it would cheer her up, her parents saw and they had a discussion, she told them about us and everything that's happened and now they won't let us be together, she can't even text me now, I thought she'd fight for me but she didn't... She was the last thing holding me together, my home life is terrible, now no job, huge fines to pay, no license, I was holding on for her, she was literally my world, I loved her so much.... Now it's gone... Reddit, I fucked up, I don't know why I am posting, I doubt it'll help, I think I'm just trying to talk about it or something... | lost my license, my job, owe a lot of money, I'm only 17.... To top it off lost the one person who I always loved and was happy around... |
t3_52uy77 | relationships | I [20 M] am virgin, should I tell my gf [20F] who isn't? | I've never dated anyone before this current girl. Never made out or had sex with anyone before.
Met this girl at work. Somehow all my social awkwardness disappeared with her. Two of us bonded immediately. I've never bonded this well with anyone in my life. I ended up asking her out about 3 weeks after meeting her and her words weren't just yes but, "what took you so long?" Needless to say there is a mutual attraction.
Been on three dates and she's beginning to wonder why I'm not making any moves so to speak. But I'm not sure how to approach the situation given the fact that I've never made out with anyone and that I'm a virgin. Do I just tell her upfront or should I just keep it a secret and wing it like I have been doing?
I know that she's not a virgin and she's experienced in the dating game if that helps at all. | I'm a kissless virgin and I don't know if I should, or how I should tell this girl I'm seeing. |
t3_3gnmnd | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [24M] is about to start grad school and I'm the one nervous about it. | This is just going to show how very insecure I am, but my boyfriend is starting grad school next week and I'm afraid for our relationship. Aside from the demands that grad school will have on him, resulting in less time spent on "us," I'm always nervous of my significant other meeting the true woman of his dreams in class or something. So, so very insecure. I know. What is wrong with me? He has a couple of girl friends in general, so it wouldn't surprise me if he makes a couple in his new classes. I need to find a way to not let jealousy get the best of me.
We have a great relationship. We rarely fight or disagree. If there's a disagreement, we talk about it in a very rational way. I've always been so impressed by the way he handles it when I come to him with an issue. But this isn't one I feel I should tell him about. It really shows my insecurities. I think I know what makes me feel this way, or at least something that has contributed to it. My high school boyfriend was two years older than me and therefore started college when I was just a junior in high school. He met all kinds of new ladies in his college classes and would kind of rub his new friendships in my face, telling me about how great these new gals were. My already naturally insecure self became even more insecure. I admit, I ended up trying to prevent him from seeing these people, which came off as very controlling (because it was). We eventually broke up a couple months later.
I need to be a mature, confident adult about this! | My BF is starting a graduate program and my insecurity makes me nervous that he will meet the woman of his dreams in his classes. I know I'm insane. Please help. |
t3_3aqw21 | tifu | TIFU by taa handful of xanax and drinking all night. | I just scored some xanax which I love to take when drinking. I know it's dumb but I enjoy and I'm grown man who make my own stupid decisions so please don't preach. Anyways, I was having a great night drinking at my favorite local bar. Slowly popping another pill every couple hours. Then the FU begins. My buddy says after party at his house, and knowing I had a golf appointment with my dad and brother the next morning I knew I should just head home. Intoxicated me said fuck that shit. So I go. Then everyrhing dies down and we all start to leave. I get in my truck thinking I'm totally fine.
Next thing I remember my fucking dad is knockin on my window. I wake up and have no fucking idea where I am. Apparently I realized I was too fucked up to drive and pulled into a gas station parking lot to chill for minute. Well instead of doing that I passed out, truck still running. Luckily I didn't get robbed or hit with a dui. But my dad made sure I was okay and I followed them to the golf course and had great time golfing with my dad and bro. | Took too many xanax, drank too much woke up to my fucking dad waking me up in a random gas station parking lot. Then golfed. |
t3_3yvb8g | relationships | Me [26 F] with my husband [29 M] got an arranged marriage in May of 2015. Feeling very very trapped. | I've been raised in USA most of my life, but have extended fam in India. A lot of my cousins my age got married thru the arranged marriage fashion in India and then I got restless to be married also but wasn't wiling to get an arranged one. Lost my job in 2014, moved back in with parents and they started looking for a spouse. Cue depression, anxiety and I agreed to marry a guy a few days after meeting him once.
I may have been a bit callous with him at first but he was a nice lad and it was fine for the first few months. But if he ever has to help with housework he will be pissed off. I've told him several times he's got anger issues that he needs to work on.
Fast forward to now and he's pissed because the holidays were a busy time for us and he had to do some extra housework. He got a really shitty attitude about that and got angry with me near a family member who heard. When I tried confronting him he basically said this is the way he is and I better adjust to it. He's never hit me or anything physical and he isn't verbally abusive but he's a nasty piece of work when he is angry.
I'm doing better with the depression and anxiety but his anger upset me a lot. I got a job offer a few states away and I'm thinking whether I should leave to take it. Please mind that if I do leave like this my family will not approve and might shun me. Soo just asking for some advice.
Sorry for choppy sentences. Real nervous abt posting here but some thoughtful insights are needed. | had an arranged marriage, now the guy is acting up. Don't know if I should put up with it or leave since he basically said "this is the way he is" |
t3_1rb5kf | AskReddit | Should I (28f) feel sorry for my bum father being alone for Thanksgiving? | I'll try to keep this short...my parents just divorced. They've been together since they were 14 years old. The last 6 or 7 years, my dad has been a complete ass. In a nutshell, he has used up all of my mother's inheritance, been unemployed on and off during those years, and has been very verbally abusive to my mom. My mom had enough and left. My dad got angry that I comforted her during the divorce and blamed me for the divorce, saying I (as well as all of her family) had talked her into divorce and that he did nothing wrong. I hear he's living in his truck now. My mom has just bought a new house. Should I feel bad for him? Should I order him a Thanksgiving dinner or something? He hasn't reached out to me in months, but I know he loves me. What would you do? I guess I should mention that I live 8 hours away and have to work around during Thanksgiving. | My bum father is living in his truck and will be alone for Thanksgiving. Trying to figure out what to do or how to feel about his situation. |
t3_19151h | relationships | My (33m) gf (27f) keeps lying to me about talking to another guy whom I believe she is carrying on an emotional affair with, and some other issues... | (33m) (27f) We have known each other for three years, dating for six months. I was in a relationship when we met, she was single and actively dating. I ended my relationship to be with her.
Shortly after we started dating I noticed her son kept calling me by another guys name which made me suspicious. So I snooped in her phone and it was confirmed that there was some sort of relationship going on with this other guy who lives out of state. Texting that was sexual in nature, exchanging pics, ect. 99 percent of it was before we were official. So I bit the bullet and confronted her about it and my snooping, and my feelings about how it makes me uncomfortable. She admitted it was inappropriate to talking like that to this other person while in a relationship and said she would fix it.
Five months later and she is still talking to this guy behind my back I have come to find out. Also, her best girl friend who is in jail, and who she corresponds with regularly mentioned casually in a letter that she is not aware I read, if my gf was really that happy with me and has she thought about cheating? Like it's no big deal..
I will be confronting her again today due to the fact she is lying to my face about this and other things, like introducing me to her guy friends or talking about them without mentioning that there was a previous thing with them when I know that to be untrue. Also, is it strange that she secretly keeps track of our sexual encounters in a calender type organizer( days we have sex get highlighted) Any advice would be welcome. Our sex life is good and we get along great otherwise. | gf talks to other guy behind my back after I expressed it bothers me and is now lying by omission about it and other things as well. |
t3_21izjq | relationships | Dorm mate [19M] smells horrific all the time. How do we tell him to bathe? | I attend a college with co-ed dorms. The shape of the buildings are roughly L-shaped, and the shorter end of the L is where all the girls live while the longer end is where all the guys live (the school's ratio of guys to girls is about 7:3, so it works out).
To get to my dorm from the front entrance of the building, you have to walk through the guy's end of the floor. Normally, this wouldn't be so bad except for the massive stench of vomit that exudes from the guys' bathroom. I assumed that some of my floormates go to parties, had too much, and would then leave the excess in the bathroom sinks, thereby causing the smell.
Or at least that's what I thought.
Turns out that the reason the smell is so bad is because of one guy: Ben. He's a bit of a social outcast but still hangs around some of the other groups of people on my floor. However, for whatever reason, he smells. A lot. Like bad BO that was stored in a jar to ferment for a week and then opened up and hung around his neck.
What's worse is that his roommate wears a lot of Axe and sprays it everywhere (I'm guessing to mask the smell). But instead of covering up Ben's horrid odor, it combines and forms an odor very similar to the smell of vomit.
Apparently for a solid month, the guys on my floor kept telling Ben to keep himself clean, but they gave up when they realized he wasn't listening or getting the point that *hey dude you smell bad and it's problematic for us to be around you.*
One of my friends was just considering to put a sign on his door that says *"Biohazard.....SERIOUSLY"* to try to get the point across, but honestly I feel like that might be too passively aggressive to do anything.
I personally have never talked to him, but the smell is incredibly noticeable to the point that something really does need to be done or else no one will want to be near him at all. | Floor mate smells atrocious. We've told him several times to take care of himself better, but he doesn't anyway. What do we do now? |
t3_33f4f0 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [31M] of over 2 years, I'm not sure if he asked this other girl on a date | So I just really need a neutral opinion on this, and I need to be bluntly told if I'm being a pathetic idiot.
So my boyfriend of more than two years is a very outgoing and flirty (although he claims he doesn't realize it) person. I think his friendliness and talkative personality is great, especially since I'm so introverted and not very social. However, sometimes I'm uncomfortable with how he talks to women- he tends to get a bit too personal and flirtatious for my comfort.
I've brought up that the fact that he only reaches out to girls bothers me, but he says he's just always gotten along with girls better. We've had problems in the past with his ex still texting him after several years (still not sure if she was just crazy or if he was encouraging it) and with another girl who admitted she loved him texting him all the time. But nothing has really changed.
So yesterday, I was borrowing his phone and his facebook was up. I looked at his messages out of curiosity, not planning on reading anything, and I saw messages from several girls, including a girl that I've always had a weird gut feeling that he liked. This is the only girl I've actually sat him down and seriously asked him about, but he just said he barely knew her and just wanted to be friends with her.
So I opened these messages and saw that he had started them, saying something like "I really enjoy seeing you around." He then asked about school (they had a class together last semester), and then he said "maybe I'll see you around more and we can get a coffee together."
I basically freaked out and told him I was having too hard of a time trusting him and that I couldn't date him anymore. Was this stupid? He says he was never going to follow up on it and he just wanted to make friends, and I can see how asking to coffee could just be a friendly invitation. I kind of want to break up, but we have nonrefundable tickets for a week-long vacation in a few weeks and I don't know what to do. Be as harsh as you want. | My boyfriend is too flirty with other women for my comfort sometimes. Not sure if he asked this girl on a date, not sure if I'm being an insecure jealous freak. |
t3_21nsy7 | relationships | how do you let it go when things don't work out? Relationships, friendships, whatever. 21M talking about 21F's | I ask this because when I make new friends with women sometimes it's clear that they either don't think of me in a certain way, or whatever. All logic points to yelling myself to drop things as they aren't healthy for me.
Person who doesn't text back, but posts on Instagram all the time? I want to be friends with her but it's hard when I want to call her out on why she doesn't text me
Person who went on a date with me but didn't respond to a text about the date, but responded a few days later about something else?
Person who doesn't initiate conversation with me despite me thinking she was my best friend throughout a portion of my 18-20 years? | Why can't I just drop friendships and relationships where I feel I put in 90% of the work. It'd be a lot healthier for me. |
t3_g4q84 | Pets | Please help with fighting female guinea pigs (xpost from /r/guineapigs) | We've got a rather specific problem with a pair of female guinea pigs. They've been raised together from being very young and have started to play dominance games. At first we were sure it was because they were in a fairly small cage. We don't have a massive amount of space but we get them both out pretty regularly.
To try and fix the space issue we bought a double height cage with a ramp. I know, I know - after some looking around on the internet this wasn't too wise; they don't seem happy with steep ramps.
We're considering fixing up the cage ourselves to make the ramp longer and less steep but we're not sure if it's even worth doing yet - they really don't seem to get on, even for a few minutes.
The main reason I'm posting is because it doesn't seem like normal behaviour. One guinea pig is particularly dominant and the other is simply terrified. We can put them together for hours at a time and all that happens is the second pig sits in a corner completely motionless, occasionally gets chased round and generally sounds scared whenever the other one comes near. When separated the aggressive pig becomes incredibly stressed and squeals a lot seemingly out of loneliness - but the timid one gets so much happier. The aggressive one is also absolutely fine with us. She's never bitten anyone as far as I know (and they've never drawn each other's blood).
I should also note that we separated them for about a week and bathed both pigs thoroughly before we reintroduced them in the new cage to remove all previous odors. This didn't seem to do a great deal. Well, they smelled a lot nicer, obviously.
So now I'm not so sure actually connecting the two cages will help. Any advice out there? | female pigs fighting, one wants a fight and is unhappy when the other isn't around and the other is happier alone. |
t3_3pfwrw | relationships | My [29F] husband [30M] of 3 years has started collecting antique/military (but still working) rifles. He's spending a lot of money and neglecting our family. | This is a hobby that he just started participating in over the summer. A friend of his from work invited him to one of his club functions; the friend is involved in some sort of group for guys that collect and compete with military rifles. My husband loved it, and with help from his friend, he joined the club and bought his own rifle.
I was a little uncomfortable with this, especially since we have a young child in our home, but he convinced me that it would be worth it. My husband has now spent every Saturday since June at his club or at their range, with the exception of 2 Saturdays. I might as well throw in Sundays because he normally needs that day to "recover," so he sleeps in and then spends the rest of the day laying around the house, even though I constantly ask him to set aside some time to spend with me and our daughter.
He also has bought several more military rifles, in addition to ammunition and other supplies. At this point he's several thousand dollars in and he keeps talking about branching out (i.e. buying a handgun and some modern rifles).
I have talked with him about his spending and about how he has basically been absent from our family life for the last few months. He says that he needs this time to relax and that this new hobby is something that makes his life more exciting. I do think he deserves to do things that make him happy, but I also think our daughter deserves to see her father for more than a few hours a week at bed time; he normally works very late and doesn't get much time to see her during the week. I also think that we should be saving more money now since we want to start trying for our second child next year.
I feel like I've been reasonable in the way I've communicated all of this information to him. I'm really not sure what else to try. How do I get him to realize that his hobby has gone beyond a hobby and has started to negatively impact our family life? | My husband's new hobby is very expensive and consumes his weekends. I've talked to him about these two things, but I don't know what else I can do to get him to spend more time with us and less money. |
t3_3s3fje | personalfinance | I was recently laid off by my start-up. How much should I charge when they ask me to consult? | I've been working for a very small start-up for the past few years. For the past year, they've been circling the drain due to terrible, terrible management. Last week, I was informed they're closing the office where I work and laying off the employees there. The company is less than twenty people, and the office represented roughly a quarter of the employees.
Now, I have little doubt that the company is going to go under eventually. My guess is that it will probably be in 4-6 months, but they might get a few more investors and linger for another year or two.
My question is this: When they call me to consult, how much money should I ask for? They're almost certainly going to, because I was doing critical work, and they literally have no back-up for me because, due to the aforementioned terrible management, they also laid off the only other guy who could have stepped up. I was making $70K/year, and given my duties, probably should have been making closer to $90K. | Got laid off but company will almost certainly be calling me for help in the coming weeks. Was making $70K. Probably should have been making $90K. How much should I charge to consult? |
t3_4xv2y7 | relationships | Me [23 M] broke up with my GF [23 F] of 6 months because of health and family issues | Me [23 M] broke up with my GF [23 F] of 6 months, because she has epilepsy and it got to the point where we couldnt go out at night for fear of her having an episode which has happened a few times when police and paramedics had to get involved.
She also has a horrible relationship with her mother whom she lives with and her father lives far away due to his job. Every week she is threatened with being kicked out by her mother. She cannot be left alone in the house due to her condition.
I broke up with her cuz of all these reasons piling up but the fact is that she has a fantastic personality and we click on almost every level and I am still absolutely in love with her. I don't know if being in love with her is good enough to outweigh all of those factors that comes along with it? Advice please and thank you! | I broke up with my GF because of health and family issues but still love her and don't know if it is worth trying to get back together despite them. |
t3_3rqkh2 | relationships | My father [55] recently confided in me [22f] that he has a feeling in his gut that my mother [54] is cheating. | Alright, I have no one to talk this out with who is unbiased so here it goes:
Yesterday while shopping for birthday cards for my mom, my dad asked me casually if she'd mentioned that anything was bothering her. My dad and I are extremely close, so this wasn't an odd question, he's asked before. I said no, as she hasn't, but inquired why he asked, per usual. He got unusually quiet and read a few more cards, handing me the funny and touching ones for opinions. After a few minutes he quietly said that he'd heard my mom talking to my grandma about something pertaining to "it feels like he's ignoring me" then when he entered the room, she changed the subject hastily and wouldn't make eye contact with him. I said maybe it was nothing, he agreed it may not be and we bought our cards.
However on the way home he had more to tell me. On his birthday she made plans with another man, right in front of him, to go out and "celebrate their birthdays together." He wasn't worried but she hasn't brought it up since and when he asked what they were doing on the day mentioned to the other man, as it's the day before her birthday, she said nothing and said she had some work stuff she had to do that day. He also admitted that she's been distant and her job has been taking up a lot more time than it used to (I can't say I haven't noticed the same trend on that one.)
My father is a good man and it hurts me to see him hurt like this. He was married once before and said the same things happened right before he found out his ex-wife was having an affair. I don't know what to tell him. I said if it's bothering him so much, he should tell her, but he seems reluctant to make her angry. I need some help in advising him. I don't know if his gut is right, I want to hope it's not, but I want to try and take away some of his worry and hopefully find a way that he can approach my mom on this without outright admitting that he thinks she may be having an affair. | My father has a serious hunch that my mom is having an affair and it's worrying him. I dont' know what to say or do to try and fix this. |
t3_266zbp | relationships | My (20 M) ex (20 f) wants to reconnect. Do I meetup with her because I still have feelings or should I say no? | My ex and I stopped talking a year ago when we broke up. We dated for two years and were really comfortable with each other. We talked almost every day for two years but when we broke up we stopped all contact like two months after the breakup and we found new partners.
I sent her a text after about ten months of no talking wishing her a happy birthday and she said thanks and that was it. About a month later ( in March) she sent me a friend request on Facebook which was odd cause when we broke up it blocked her. Turns out she made a new account and I was one of the few she added. I messages something along the lines of "miss hearing from you!" That night and she said she'd be in Cali over the summer and we should hangout.
Now here's the problem. It took me a long time to get over her and I had severe depression after going through the breakup, and still do to this day. So do I try and see her and risk her not caring about me anymore and having my heart broken ? Because just texting her all these feelings are starting to come back. If it's a bad idea to see her then how should I go about telling her? Should I just stop all contact and block her new FBI account? | ex wants to hangout. I have feelings for her but if she doesn't have them in return Itd blow. What do I do |
t3_4eekse | personalfinance | Mom was laid off at 59 1/2. Need help reallocating 401K for retirement. | Hi everyone. My mom was recently laid off from her 30+ year night shift job. She plans to live off severance and unemployment until 62, then collect social security and collect money from her 401K. Unfortunately, finding additional employment will be difficult as her English is poor (first-generation immigrant) and she only has a G.E.D.
She asked me for help in planning out her retirement because she doesn't know anything about 401k allocations, but neither do I. Before she retired, she lived comfortably with an annual income of between 35 and 38K.
Her 401k currently has $250K split 50/50 in a S&P 500 Index Fund and an Employee Stock Ownership Fund. From what I've read on Boggleheads, she should have 50% in bonds instead.
When I try and change the allocation I get this message
> As a result of this transaction you will lose your current cost basis in the shares of [Company Name] Stock allocated to your account to the extent of the transfer.
This leads me to believe that an ESOP is not just a regular fund. What should we do? Any additional advice will be appreciated as well. | 401K is split 50/50 in S&P 500 stock and ESOP. How should we reallocate for retirement at age 59? |
t3_jerwb | relationships | On a break with GF of 2.5 years. Now what? | Edit: we're both 20!
So after a series of arguments, my girlfriend of 2.5 years and I have decided to go on a break for 2-4 weeks. I've had issues with her before and wondered whether to break up as mentioned here:
So, I've got about 2 weeks in which to decide whether I want to or not. If there is to be a good time for it, then it'll be after this break. She moves to Spain next month and she will be gone for a year.
I'm really confused and already I can sense this post is beginning to ramble. Long and short of it is:
She says she still loves me and thinks we'll be fine in the long term. I have my doubts. We come from completely different families with completely different values and I don't see that being helpful. She gets angry with me when I don't do things she approves of and expects me to tell her everything I do. Despite all this, she says that she wants to stay with me.
I still have feelings for her but I sometimes imagine that I could do a lot better if I were single. I don't know what to expect and don't want to make her sad, but maybe it would be a kindness? If I break up with her it's going to be tough.
So, what do? | I can't work out whether to break up with my girlfriend or not and have a whole bunch of very conflicting feelings. |
t3_zd9qh | AskReddit | Parents of reddit: how much time/money does raising a child actually cost? | I'm a male. I only say this because it's relevant, but I make about $60k a year (before taxes). I'm thinking of marrying and starting a family with my girlfriend in about two years or so.
One thing that concerns me is I feel that I barely have any money now. I do spend a lot of money on my girlfriend buying gifts (and a ton of money on food, e.g. eating out). I still have more than enough to pay my bills and live comfortably, but I'm very concerned about how much extra a child would cost me. My girlfriend also works, but she constantly laments about being out of money. I would estimate that she makes between $50k and $60k a year, but I'm not positive. She has a very nice car and a house.
Another thing that concerns me is that I don't have very much free time already. I work about 48 hours a week, and I have a lot of out-of-work projects that I spend time on (maybe 10-20 extra hours a week). I'm sure that I would want to spend a lot of time with my children as well, but I don't want my "extra-curricular" projects to suffer. I could work only 40 hours or so a week and create even more extra time for myself, but I get paid overtime so my salary would diminish significantly if I did that. | At around a $60K salary working 48 hours a week with 15 hours a week spent on other projects, what sacrifices would I have to make to raise a child? |
t3_32ivoe | relationships | Me [35 F] with my boyfriend [34 M] together 3.5 years, are we doomed? | We don't have our "collective futures" planned since we got together after our divorces (we each married after 5+ year-long relationships). Both of us are unsure where we land on many things in the future, so we have decided not to move in with each other until that's more known.
The biggest issue is that we cannot communicate about difficult issues. Whether it's work stress, family drama, or medical stuff, or even our relationship, we both are SOOO inhibited. We've seen a counselor about 6 times, and he will not see another one with me. He says he still loves me though.
I know I'm so scared I will upset the peaceful balance, since I've had really bad (violent) experiences with my ex. I think it's safe to say we're probably still hurt by our old failed marriages. I don't know why he stonewalls me and shuts me out when he's upset. I only know why I do.
Help? How can I get him to open up to me when he's feeling down or needs support or wants to talk about the future with me? How can I be less inhibited with sharing my goals/wants/dreams with him?
throwaway since he's a redditor | we both stonewall each other in difficult times. no formal commitments after 3.5 years. Are we doomed? |
t3_gsqrp | AskReddit | Today I broke my housemates mug. It is his 21st soon, and only the MOST OSSUM mug could possibly recompense him. Please help. | So my friend spent the summer on the most boring job imaginable working for Serco. You might not have heard of them but they are a HUGE company working in all sorts of sectors you never thought possible (including helping to privatise the UK justice system). It killed him every day he went, partly because the job was terrible, partly because it took him 3 hours round trip every day, partly because his life's ambition of having a well-paid office job and having money suddenly wasn't so appealing.
Anyway, the only good thing he took away from this job was a crappy little mug that he cherished as some sort of metaphor for all the lessons he learnt that summer. Today, I broke that metaphor, and I was sorry, but sorry doesn't glue mugs back together.
He is a hard man to anger, but this was oddly too much. The only way he can be recompensed is for the mug to be replaced by a mug that is WAY better. As it is his 21st next month I can afford to spend a bit of money on it. It can be purely superficially way better (like, an electric mug?) or more abstractedly an improvement (e.g. the mug was used by Churchill at Yalta).
Please post your ideas....HERE *insert downward arrow | Today I broke my friend's mug which held a lot of value for him and I need to replace it with something unspeakably more awesome or he will never forgive me. |
t3_2tc1ai | personalfinance | How to help a Mother-in-Law... for selfish reasons | My mother-in-law inherited ~$2MM in paintings 25 years ago. With the incremental proceeds from sale of most of those paintings, a deceased husbands pension, and now social security, she raised 5 kids on her own and now lives what I would call an expensive, but not extravagant lifestyle on her own ($100-150k per year).
The paintings are running out, there are complex issues and claims against the estate that holds the paintings (she never closed the estate), and she is almost always "out of money." Recently a probate attorney became involved and is trying to sort through this mess.
Mother-in-law misses credit card payments, carries a balance, occasionally pays rent late, has no retirement account, and it seems that every time a painting is sold, the proceeds are already spent.
Net of things, some of the brothers and I are working on helping her put together a plan that will alleviate the continual financial stress, and keep her from landing on my couch when the money runs out.
Is a fee based Certified Financial Planner paired with the probate attorney the right kind of professional team to help with this? Does anyone know a patient, experienced, preferably old, extremely patient, and patient, Certified Financial Planner in the Los Angles area? | Mother-in-law will end up broke and on my couch without intervention. Is a Certified Financial Planner the right person to bring into the picture? |
t3_40537x | relationships | Me [29 M], non-religious interested in seriously dating a girl [27 F] who is religious. | About two months ago I [29m] started talking to this girl I found to be really awesome. We met at a bar and after a few drinks coupled with a few hours of talking to each other, we exchanged numbers. We've been talking a lot and meeting up once a week and I've come to find out that there are some really significant differences between us.
She does not drink or smoke, and her family, at least, takes their religions somewhat seriously. We both respect each other, but our habits are very different (aside from exercise and trying new things).
I drink once every week or every other week, occasionally light up the hookah, and have a fairly loose religious practice. I grew up Catholic, but stopped practicing when I was around 14 years old.
Does anyone here have experience in long term relationships where one party does drink, and the other doesn't? If so, what about religions that are different from one another? How did it go? What were the struggles, if any? | Somewhat of a party guy wants to date a religious girl, worried that the huge differences in us might be an issue. |
t3_35vfrn | relationships | I [17/M] can talk to her [16/F] all day texting, but I can't in person. | ok, I've been texting this girl from my school everyday for around 2 weeks now, and we talk for hours and say good night to each other every night. We sort of take turns starting up the conversation, and talk without end for hours.
I see her in the hallways, we locks eyes, but we never talk. I've talked to her *once* before, and it's pissing me off that I can't make myself walk up and talk to her.
We're two grades apart and don't have any classes with each other, and she's with her group of friends pretty much all day. I see her with her other classmates at lunch, at her locker, and in the hallways between classes. I've been told I don't show my emotions very well, but she's different. I see myself opening up to her when I'm texting *her*.
I can talk to any other girl, no problem, but I can't seem to with her in person..
I feel like I'm slowly losing her if I haven't talked to her in person yet, but she starts the text conversations still. I'm really thinking about calling her, but have no experience and don't want to mess this up.
I love her, and don't know how to let her know.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you can help me out.. | We text everyday and night on end, but when it comes to in person, I can't make my self make the first move. |
t3_29xbhp | askwomenadvice | [24m] Taking your SO for granted ? (moved from aw) | My SO (30f) and I (24m) have moved in together two months ago after dating for a year. Things were awesome that year and became even greater for our first month of living together. However it seems things just got boring about three weeks ago. We hardly ever share quality time together and when we do have sex, she gets it done asap and it feels like a chore for her. She hardly ever tries to be seducing and stopped caring about the little things I do for her. I basically feel like I'm just part of the furniture. I need an interpret ladies. Did I do something wrong ? What should I understand from this behaviour ? | I feel like my gf stopped caring and takes me for granted, which is causing me great unhapiness. What do ? |
t3_jax1c | AskReddit | Anyone have advice for someone about to get their wisdom teeth out? | I'm getting all four of my wisdom teeth out on Monday, and I'm absolutely terrified. This is my first surgical operation that I'll be old enough to be aware of, and the videos and documentation on the surgeon's website only makes the feeling worse. Really, how bad are the risks that a) there'll be complications with the anesthesia, and b) that I'll lose sensation in my tongue (temporary or permanent)?
I'm young (20), and I know millions go through worse procedures than this every year and come out fine, but for some reason I'm just outright terrified that things will go wrong. | getting my wisdom teeth out on monday, and I'm scared out of my damned mind that things will go very wrong. |
t3_4wjbec | relationships | My (26f) boyfriend (36m) and i don't speak the same love language. | We have been together for almost 2 years. He's introverted, while I'm extroverted. I'm emotional, and he's strategic. His love language is acts of service and sees no weight in words. While mine is words of affrimation, and i don't get all warm and fuzzy with acts of service.
Now don't get me wrong. When we are getting along. It is amazing, and most of the time we do get along. We get each other's humor, we have the same career drive.
From day one told him what my love language was. Knowing he is introverted, i knew it would take some time.
We'll tonight we got in to it. I got a weird feeling, and when i get this feeling it is usually spot on, so i asked if he was keeping anything from me. Which he would never admit to, he needs to be caught red handed to admit anything. We then started talking about love languages again.
He started he had made a note in his phone what my love language was, to tell me he loves me more, and tell me how much i mean to him. While i appreciated this effort, it sucks that it took him 2 years, and he has to write himself notes to remind himself of these things. I tell him that it was sad, and he tells me he writes himself notes for mundane things.... which hurts even more. I know im a sensitive person. But i don't feel that remembering to tell me how much i mean to him should be considered mundane.
He got upset saying nothing is ever good enough for me. And hasn't talked to me since. | my boyfriend and i don't see eye to eye, and we got into a fight. Not sure if I'm being overly emotional, or if my emotions are legit. |
t3_49vxkn | relationship_advice | (25m) Unsure what to do... Help. | I (25m) just started dating a super sweet and nice girl that my best friend set me up with. She's super cool but a little on the young side (20f). We've gone on two dates and have had fun both times and we get along alright. However late into the night of the 2nd date she revealed to me that she's a Virgin by choice... As in until marriage.. I am NOT. she told me several guy have stopped dating her because of that and I was so shocked and didn't want to be like that so I told her I admired her for it and it made me respect her more. Which is true. However I am a male is his mid-20s that loves sex. I'm not sure I'm ready, or in a place where I want to stop. I like her alot but am unsure if I should give it a shot and waste my time if things don't work out. I wouldn't want to get bored and break her heart down the road and I DEFINITELY don't want to make her break her life decision or feel bad about it. Because that is a phenomenal thing in this day and age. I've tried telling myself "oh sex isn't that big of a deal it will be fine"... But I don't know. Plus there's a five year age difference and she's still in school an hour away. I've just never been in this situation before and was wondering if anyone had any advice. | I've just started dating a girl and found out that she's a virgin. I'm not and am unsure what to do (I like sex). |
t3_4zxdad | relationships | Me [22 F] with my Aunt [50s F] who lives where I go to school | My mom's side of my family is all sorts of messed up. Let's just say there's abuse and lots of bad blood all around. Because of this, my mom has gone no-contact with all of them for about 12 years. I haven't spoken to either my aunt or her son since even before that time. I've probably only seen them a total of 10 times.
My aunt just contacted me on Facebook today. She just found out that I go to college where she lives. I stupidly had this public on my profile. She messaged me saying how she wants to meet up and for her house to be a home away from home. I have no intention of actually responding or seeing her. I'm just worried that since it's such a small town (and the fact she can find out my office number by just googling me) that I'll run into her. I don't even think I could recognize her on the streets at this point, but I assume she would be able to by just seeing my profile.
My main question is, what do I do if I run into her? I really don't even know if I can do a cordial conversation with her because of various things that have gone on. What is a good way for me to escape? | My aunt who I'm in no-contact with contacted me on Facebook about how she lives near me now. What do I do? |
t3_50icds | weddingplanning | Dress Regret and Success | We recently decided to get married this November so I got to work trying to find a dress I liked as I am picky when it comes to clothes. I knew it would be difficult to stay within my budget and find "the" dress. Last week I went to David's Bridal and tried on a taffeta gown (4th pic down) in my upper price range. I wasn't feeling the material until I added the petal pink sash. Then I felt like I loved it so I put the dress on layaway that day and soon started to question my decision. Over the next few days I felt like I only liked the dress because of the adorable sash, a feeling this sub calls dress regret. lol I canceled my layaway order and decided to buy the sample sale dress I originally fell in love with without being able to try it on (last picture). Yesterday I was driving through the small town I live in and saw a sign in the window of a bridal shop for 50% off. I thought why not see what the prices are like. The owner said they do have dresses in my sad $100-$400 price range. Rejoice. So I made an appointment for yesterday afternoon and tried on a few. They were secondhand dresses but I'm okay with this because people only wear these dresses for a short period of time anyways, thus why I refuse to spend so much money on one. The dress will (sadly) need a few ($200+worth) alterations but I can live with that because it's gorgeous! I feel like it combines the dress I wanted with a very classic feel. Plus the bodice is amazing!!! Some of the beading is a bit discolored (to me anyways) but I'll just call it vintage. haha Here is the dress I said YES to (top three pics).
Ladies, don't settle...even if you're on a tight budget like me. The right dress (much like the right man) is out there for you somewhere just waiting for you to discover it. | Experienced dress regret. Looked further and found a beautiful high quality fabric dress within my price range. Don't settle. |
t3_2khd1u | relationships | Me [26F] with my ex [25M] 2.5 years, can't get over him despite amazing things happening in my life | Dear Reddit,
I broke up with my now ex-boyfriend six months ago. He was my first REAL love, so I'm wondering, reddit, is this normal?
I broke up with him because I was unhappy with how the relationship was going. He wasn't getting a job, he seemed unambitious and generally happy with an otherwise boring life (in my opinion). I had always wanted to take a big trip around the world, so I did it - I traveled around the world for 4 months, after quitting my job and moving out of the town we lived in.
Even while I was traveling I was suffering with heartache. Now I'm back in the US and it is stronger - my mind can't get off of how sad I am that we're not together again. I never stopped loving him, and I feel more hurt than he is. We haven't maintained contact, other than a few emails.
Now searching for a job and have the potential of moving to some awesome cities that will be a lot more fun than the boring town he was holding me in.
Why can't I get over this relationship, when I was the one that broke up with him, and I went on this amazing trip and I'm making great changes for my life! I have even gone on a few dates with other men, and have done so many things that make me happy (hobbies, etc). It's making me feel like I have depression, which I really don't want to go to the doctor to diagnose.
Thanks for reading, guys... | Broke up with ex of 2.5 yrs, traveled world, had a great time, still feeling heartbroken, can't get over him. Why can't I get rid of feelings? |
t3_2e1vj1 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Friend [20 F] Known each other for a couple months, I want to get with her. | Okay, so this starts off with meeting this girl online. I met her playing a game and we got on really well. I couldn't help but fall for her and I can't stop thinking about us being together.
Problem is, she previously was in love with another guy she met on her online diary site. They said they loved each other and then all of a sudden, he's moving in with another girl and planning to have a baby. She was pretty crushed and she doesn't want to be in that position again.
We've known each other for quite a few months and we've told each other everything about ourselves. I've told her things about me I'm not even comfortable telling my best friends irl. We've done some masturbating over skype together and we often dirty talk and have dreams/fantasies about each other that we share.
My problem is that I've never been in a situation like this before. She told me she loved me and the logical part of my brain told me it was platonic love. However, my heart doesn't want to believe it and now my brain doesn't either. I think she loves me in more than a platonic way and I don't know how to show her that she does. I can't press the issue and I don't want to pressure her into anything, but I really want to make this work. I can't bear not talking to her and I often wait up until stupid times, just so I can talk to her. | Fallen in love with a girl, think she feels the same but is afraid of admitting it, don't know how to proceed? |
t3_1psmpr | relationships | Alright, I'm an asshole. I (27 M) snooped on my gf (27 F) | I'll start off by saying I'm a dick. I looked at her phone...
I've suspected my gf on fucking around on me for a while now, but I've never had anything solid. She never used to be picky about her phone, but lately she's on her phone a lot and keeps it by her side at ALL times. And if she ever sets it down, she puts it face down so any new messages won't pop up.
I talked to her about it and she said it was nothing and she wasn't trying to make me jealous and she would stop. She continued the same behavior, so eventually I checked it out while she was sleeping.
There were several messages exchanged with the guy I suspected her of cheating with on me. None of them were particularly incriminating, but the history only went back 2 days. She had deleted everything beyond that.
I'm partially relieved that it seems platonic, but the short history makes me suspicious still. Anyone have any thoughts for me? | I suspect my gf of cheating. Her phone history was not incriminating, but she had clearly deleted messages. I'm still confused. |
t3_3834hd | relationships | [24F] Poll: do you pick your head or your heart? | Hypothetical question, please don't try to read into it too much. If you had to choose one, do you choose:
the one that you love unconditionally, but has fucked up royally? Maybe does something like lies occasionally or has cheated, but the level of passion/feelings is soulmate status. Does the big things.
OR
Best friend. More like your companion. Always there, loyal, never fight, would do anything and everything for you. But the "love" isn't there. More just like a partner in crime. Does the small things.
My mom always told me not to marry the one you fall in love with- they're going to hurt you and it's not going to last. Marry your best friend, she says. I get where she's coming from- she married her best friend, and they have four kids and a 25+ year long marriage together. I'm just wondering what you guys would pick. | If you had to pick one, do you pick the flawed, emotional baggage liar that you desperately love, or do you pick your best friend, the knight in shining armor, as your life-companion? |
t3_32wfrg | askwomenadvice | She said hi to [m24]e. What does it mean? | So i go to the gym to workout regularly and a coupke of weeks ago this girl newly joined. We had an eye contact once she walked passed by me (which meant nothing to me really) and saw her a couple of times more for a couple of days. The first and the last time i talked to her was 'can i open the window?'
After days, i was walking down the stairs with my friends, getting out of the gym and she had been walking up the stairs. I just kept talking to my friend and she said 'hi' which was unexpected and i said 'hey' back. It was an instant moment. Since then i have seen her twice so far and each time we see each other we just say hi.
But the thing is, i think i fancy her and want to get to know her but at the same time i wont feel missed out or regret it if i wont ask her out or have a longer conversation.
So women, why do you think she said hi? And what does this action generally mean? And do you think i should try to show interest in her and perhaps talk to her? | a girl i kind of fancy in the gym said hi to me first the other day. I dont know why she did it and dont know what i wanna do. |
t3_diu4d | AskReddit | What is the secret to fresh breath? | As a young kid (up until I was about 12/13) I had really, really poor oral hygiene. My mum who I lived with until I was 10 never really encouraged me to take care of my mouth at all, and when I moved on to live with a foster family they had a real hard time getting me into the habit of taking care of them again. The problem is, the damage was done. My teeth were pretty bad (not quite horror story level though - I did brush my teeth somewhat, occasionally), but worst of all my breath stunk like horse manure, and it was incredibly powerful. It took a while for the comments I was getting in my new environment to sink in, but once they did, my self esteem started taking huge hits and that's when I started brushing and mouth-washing regularly. The thing is, I'm 17 now, and I feel as though things aren't a whole lot better. My breath isn't *as* bad, but I can't look people in the face when I'm talking to them still, and that really sucks if I'm honest. When I brush my teeth, the freshening effect only lasts about half an hour before my breath goes back to normal, and mouth wash (I use listerine) doesn't last me much longer. | When I was younger I never brushed my teeth properly, so now my breath stinks constantly as a result of my past negligence, despite taking good care of them now. |
t3_1jm5zu | relationships | My friend(30M) is seriously starting to worry/scare me (27M) | We know each other because I food blog and he owns a small place. Hes a really nice guy and his background is Middle Eastern. He came here as a child. Anyways I have know him for over a year now.
His new place has been stressing him with finances I am sure. Well recently hes been starting to say post things....like this [1] He posted things like this on his restaurants social media. His fans told him they love him but this was insane and to please stop. He then deleted all his places social media.
I checked out his personal instagram and he now says he has no friends. Hes planning on going to DC to make the government afraid of the people again. I want to do something but I think its too small and would hurt him to report him.... So I am kinda lost at this. And yes I did tell him I thought this was extreme. | Guy I know is getting erratic and anti government and I am not sure if theres anything I can do before it gets worse. |
t3_2w3y37 | relationships | I [23 M] is uncomfortable with my [20 F] girlfriend's "platonic" relationship with this guy. | My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years but recently she befriended a guy and their dynamic makes me very uncomfortable. And I'm not even the jealous type but I'll explain why I don't like this.
I picked her up from the airport a few months ago, she tells me about this fun interaction she had with this stranger, let's call him "B". B ends up giving her his number, to which she tells me she's going to text him. Now my girlfriend believes in platonic male friends, and she honestly does have a few which I've met and have no problem with.
Anyway she starts texting B and he invites her to his military ball and tells her that he's excited to see where "they" may go, which she politely declines and explains to him that she's trying to make things work with me (we had a bit of a break up a little before this, now we are back on track)
Now she is almost constantly texting him and last week I found out they have skyped a few times, I expressed my discomfort of this she told me they won't skype anymore.
They still text way more than her other male platonic friends and their dynamic is very similar to that of two people "talking". Again I've told her that it makes me uncomfortable but I don't want to tell her what to do or be controlling. I don't look at their conversations but it's still drilling away at my mind making me worried.
What should I do? Part of me thinks she really is just trying to be friends with this guy, but their dynamic is not typical of platonic friends. Let me state again that they have only met once, on the plane.
Because of our small break-up we were trying to take things slow, now we are back together completely like we were before and she still hasn't told him that, just that we're "trying to make it work". | My girlfriend is texting this guy who she claims is a platonic male friend, their dynamic seems like more than that. I'm trying not to be jealous or controlling but it makes me uncomfortable. |
t3_3190wq | relationships | My (23M) Love Interest (25F) is "nesting" in my apartment | I've been in a relatively low maintenance with an older co-worker since late December. We bonded over having no family nearby, etc. You know how that goes. In the last month or so I have noticed her slightly adjusting things, picture frames, furniture, buying things, candles, a his & hers laundry hamper, a wine rack, (I don't drink wine,) etc.
I'm a guy, I'll be the first to admit that I am sometimes messy. However, I keep a tight ship. I dust, sweep, and mop every Saturday. Every time I ask her what she's doing, why she's doing it, or to please not she verbally swats at me like I'm a child. She came over unannounced the other night, and brought a painting that she 'left for me to hang up.'
There are alot of things I adore about this woman. The way she uses her body to express her soul, and not just sexually. Her personality radiates, it fills the room. I can't get enough of her waking me up after she gets out of my shower... that now has 4x the amount of hygiene products it used to... with her wet hair on my chest. The way she proclaims herself Pasta Queen, because she can only cook pasta dishes. I think the thing I like most about her is the intimacy we've arranged, she'll wiggle herself around me like a cat if I'm relaxing, or doing something. I don't know what to do though, I have a concern that she is trying to take control how I live. It feels like the only thing left is for to judge my friends & family, and tell me who I can't see. She won't address my concerns, and I'm not sure about the relationship we have lasting... no matter how much I ... like her. | New female in my pants, consistent relationship, redecorating my place/claiming it, won't acknowledge my concerns. What do I do? |
t3_3ysykc | relationships | Snapchat and its effect on relationships. | I (m25) and my gf (f24) currently are snapchat free. Been together 2.5 years, had snapchat when I first became popular but it caused tension due to certain people constantly sending inappropriate pictures to my girlfriend and also a few girls were snapping me a lot and showing up on my top friends list.
I would like to say that it was only jealousy, but I like to think back to before snapchat...would it have been just as accepted if you were having a conversation with an ex via text message and sending more photos than text back and forth? I don't think the app can be used to justify what really goes on.
Anyways, she is deployed right now, comes home in 2 weeks and she just asked me if I would be mad if she got a snapchat again. I kind of am mad a little Bit that she would even want to have one after the problems it caused us before. I'm also questioning our relationship at this point because I am torn over why I even got mad in the first place. Do I not trust her?
I guess I just liked not having my girlfriend swapping pictures with anyone and everyone on a daily basis and the "phubbing" as they call it, is bad enough between the texting, facebooking and instagraming...snapchat would be one more thing added to that list.
I already feel a lot of pressure trying to be the most interesting and worthwhile thing/person in the room but with technology nowadays I am competing with literally the entire world.
Am I just old fashioned on preferring that when I'm with someone I value their attention more than their physical closeness? I've gone to dinner with people that don't put their phone down and the time spent isn't actually spending time with them rather near them. | gf wants to bring snapchat back into our relationship, not sure if I don't trust her or just getting tired of social apps being the third wheel 24/7. |
t3_ggqqt | AskReddit | My April Fools joke went horribly wrong, and I'm worried I might lose my job...what should I do? | I work at a large retail company at their corporate headquarters. One of my responsibilities is to respond to emails from stores when they have an issue with an item not ringing up right, incorrect prices, etc. Sometimes I have to forward the emails on to an analyst on my team for more info.
I thought it would be a funny April Fools joke to make a fake email from a store using the normal template and send it to the analyst. I wrote the email saying that some guests at a particular store had been experiencing hallucinations after eating our French bread. In the template I filled in the Team Leader name (person who sent the email) as "April Fool."
I even took the precaution of letting my boss know about the prank before hand so she wouldn't freak out when the analyst forwarded it to her (knowing that my boss occasionally pranks us and is generally cool about things like that). She thought it was a hilarious idea, and told me so in an email this morning.
I sent the message to the analyst, and she bought it. I told her I had already taken action on it so she didn't need to do anything. Eventually around lunch she finally figured out it was a joke, and the whole team had a good laugh, and it it was very well received by all. So well received, that the analyst decided to forward it to all her friends in the company, who forwarded it to their friends, etc.
Eventually it somehow made it out to the VENDOR who supplies our French bread...my boss spent the afternoon fielding emails from other managers in the company, vendors, etc who thought it was real.
My boss was pissed. I'm guessing the vendor is too, and who knows how many people at my company know about it. Probably the whole grocery division.
I'm worried that I might lose my job. What should I do?
Obviously, I've learned my lesson on pranks. Never again. | Pranked a co-worker with a fake email from a store and she thought it was hilarious and forwarded it all over, and some people thought it was a real email. Now I might get fired. |
t3_4lz6tl | relationships | I [21/M] feel like I'm obsessing over my girlfriend [21/F] of 6 months. What can I do to stop it? | First off, I love her for sure, and I show it quite often. Perhaps I've set myself up for this, but I have this expectation of her to show the same level of affection with me. I expect her to do things like respond to my texts and facebook messages when she sees them, send me random cute messages, tell me about her day, etc... basically just lots of interactions between the two of us.
Of course if she did any of these things I wouldn't be on here. But after some self-reflection, I realized that it's almost ridiculous, and in some instances impossible, to expect that she provides these interactions with me. Knowing and acknowledging this though does not help me at all; I feel like a nuisance when she tells me almost nothing about her day while I tell her basically everything about my day, I still feel so jealous seeing her online on facebook while not clicking my messages, and I get very anxious when I don't get any messages from her for the whole day. It's driven me a bit insane and I feel like breaking up with her over it, but I know it's so irrational to do so. | I expect my girlfriend to interact with me much more because I interact with her a lot. How do I control my expectations and jealousy??? |
t3_2jdxc9 | relationships | (M/17)Falling for old hook-up buddy. (F/16) | It started two years ago. I met this girl no was real cute, real hot. We chilled, had some similar hobbies, I hung out with her family and friends and just started hanging at her house with some friends everyday. After a week of knowing eachother we hooked up. It was my first time, but not hers, so it wasn't too great for her.
So we stopped hooking up and I moved onto her friend, but still hung out at her house every day. We still chilled and all that but stopped bein all over eachother.
It's two years later and I see her every now and then, get to hang out a lot. I've realized that she's the female version of me. I've never met someone who thinks like I do. Se has adhd like me and we both do some similar stuff. I just think she's the coolest chick I've ever met and I'd like to see what else can be, but we're also real good friends.
What I want t know is should I go for her? Let her know I got feelings, or just hook up? And If so, how should I?
Some things to know, we haven't mentioned the fact that we hooked up. Idk why, but of its a little weird. But It wouldn't be a big deal if I did mention it. Also we both smoke weed and drink. | I developed some feelings for a girl i used to hook up with and think it could turn into something if I wanted. Need advice. |
t3_ji8h8 | relationships | Freshman year my friends heavily pressured me into drinking, I passed out. A few days later when they were telling the story the left the pressure part out. Am I too paranoid in thinking of them as lying/jerks? | The night in question the friends in question asked me to down some drink very quickly (as I recall). I went along with this was well within my tolerance for alcohol. Then they asked me to drink some big bottles beer I did this too. I take full responsibility for this part. I was the only one drinking by the way.
The next part started to leave a bitter taste in my mouth in retrospect. I had enough by this stage but my friends wanted my to drink some more. My judgement had been affected by this stage but I relented. It went on like this I kept getting more drunk and eventually losing my ability to say no entirely. I kept saying no that I had enough but they kept pressuring me into drinking; the girls offered to give me blow jobs if I drank some more (not a chance in hell would they do it). They started combing the apartment for more drink for me to down (I only noticed this the morning after, when I was drunk I "saw" and "heard" them but didn't pay attention to the images and sounds). Eventually I started acting like an idiot and passed out, one of the people present was supposedly considering an ambulance
The next day two of the people who are present asked me about something I did late in they night so I could not remember it. Based on subsequent behavior they must have thought I said I couldn't remember anything at all.
Two days later all of the people but one (who apologized to me afterwards) along with some other people were at another place when my friends. Their version of the story concentrated entirely on my silly behaviour during the latter half of the night and completely glossed over their own role in the me getting drunk. They described how they tried to rescue me and put me to bed etc. I was shocked. Furthermore I was afraid to mention the rest of what happened in case they all joined up to cover themselves (one against four).
I asked two of them about the incident subsequently. One of the girls apologized, but the male simply said everyone passed out sometime
( | I suppose) These are the points that worry about the whole. Btw I was new the whole drinking thing at the time (christian home): |
t3_52qlbs | relationships | Me [26M] and my girlfriend [28F] of seven years have been engaged for a year, she wants me to convert to Judaism when we get married and I don't know what to do. | Me and my girlfriend have been together for seven years, I've known about her being Jewish since we met and I've respected everything that she and her family do when it comes to their beliefs. I attended her younger brother's bar mitzvah and I've been researching Judaism for a long time since we met. It's something that I've been really interested in considering that I've been raised in a non-religious family.
For the last year, we've been talking about various stuff about what we want at the wedding and what last name will we take and one of the main things that she wants is for me to convert to Judaism. We have been talking about this for about four years now as we have grown closer and I've learned more about her. I'll say again, I've never been religious myself, but now we've reached such an important moment in our lives that it's been brought up a lot now.
I only know a few things about how the conversion process works and I've told her that I'm a little nervous about it. Getting married is a big thing, but converting to a religion is a much bigger thing that can change your life and be very overwhelming. We have visited a rabbi and I was turned down twice, but my girlfriend wants to try again as she really wants this to happen.
I just don't know what to do or say about this whole thing, any advice? | Me [26M] and my girlfriend [28F] of seven years have been engaged for a year, she wants me to convert to Judaism when we get married and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1sr8cm | relationships | I [20/F] have been dating my [24 M] boyfriend for almost 8 months and have met his close friends, but not his parents even though he says his mom will like me. | I have met his best friends and stay the night at his place a few times a week and have been for monthssss, now.
I was 19 when we started dating, at which point he said his mom would not approve of the age gap (which I understand, given that I had the "teen" at the end of my age haha).
From time to time he has told me unexpectedly, following a silly comment of mine that his mom would like me, but that's as far as those conversations go.
After he met my parents, he told me he felt bad that I haven't met his, that he's afraid his mom would be too cynical and doubtful. He assured me that he wasn't trying to compartmentalize, that he just didn't want his mom to meet me yet if he knew she would have a negative idea of the relationship, anyway.
We plan to move in together when we transfer schools in the fall, so I feel like he'll *probablyyyy* to introduce me to them before then, right?
Note: I want to meet his parents, but I also agree that I wouldn't want to meet them until they're ready to like me and not see me as too young. What to do?? | BF and I have been dating for a while, but hasn't introduced me to his parents because he's worried that they'll dislike me before they even meet me. |
t3_2h1t52 | relationships | [Non-Romantic] I[F20] no longer want to put forth the effort in continuing to be friends with a guy[23] because I don't believe it's worth the effort. Need help please. | I met this guy in college about 2 years ago. We met through friends who all enjoyed video games and had similar interests in media. We would talk and play video games but we never really did more than that. He had asked me out once but I told him I'd rather be friends. We went out to the movies as friends a few times after that but I never exactly enjoyed it. His conversation topics don't stem beyond video games, anime, movies, and immature jokes about sex every now and then. He is a little too nice of a guy in my opinion and a bit slow to be honest. He doesn't have the highest self-esteem and doesn't trust other people well. He still manages to believe every bogus online article about health for some reason and we end up arguing about its validity. He seeks out pity for not having a job and claims he's been working really hard to find one but he's been unemployed for almost a year and a half now. He also dropped out of college a year ago.
I don't feel like this friendship is worth keeping anymore. We have very different priorities and different interests now. To me it's not even a friendship, it's more like an acquaintanceship. However, he still believes we're good friends. He's recently been trying to contact me again but I've been ignoring his messages in hopes that he'd move on, something I feel really shitty about.
I don't know what to do. I want to tell him to move on but I don't know how to do it. He doesn't have many friends as it is and I'd feel terrible to tell him he has one less. He's a nice guy, a little too nice, but he's not the kind of person I'd be able to have a meaningful friendship with. | Don't want to continue friendship with a guy I don't feel is worth it. Need help helping him move one to other people beyond me. |
t3_3ptc4q | personalfinance | Delinquent Debt of ~$2k. What Are My Options? | Hey, really just looking to get some information on what my options are in this situation. I know I messed up; I'm not here to delve into that too deeply unless it's absolutely necessary.
Some background: Debt is coming due in a few weeks; letter received makes it sound as if my only options in this situation are to either pay up the entire $2k upfront or dispute this debt in some fashion. Plain and simple, I do not dispute the debt; it is my own mistake. Now, I just want to know if there are any alternatives to paying that entire sum of cash at once before contacting those who sent me the letter informing me of this debt, since there is no feasible way for me to round up that amount of cash in such a time period unless I go to the only family I have in the form of my brother, and even then, I believe it'd be a plea that falls on deaf ears. If nothing else out of this, I'd really appreciate an answer to these questions, as I'm pretty much clueless:
* What will happen to me if I fail to pay back this debt in the time-frame allotted?
* Would there be any possibility of me being able to pay this amount back in smaller sums? I could manage about $500 of it at the moment, and I'd be able to skimp in the upcoming months to pay back ~$350-450 per month.
* If this previous option is not possible in any way, and I know that I'm not going to be able to pay off this debt in the time provided to me, how should I proceed?
* Anything you feel would help me that I haven't asked about? Will openly admit to being clueless in the vast majority of matters related to finances. | Screwed up, owe $2k in delinquent debt, looking for some answers on how I should proceed moving forward and options available to me. |
t3_2rxwjx | relationships | Me [21 M] with [19 F] about 3 months, Things were going great but now I'm not so sure. | Alrighty, so I have been single for a couple years now. I was in a long term relationship a couple years ago and it did not work out so I decided I would fly solo until I was ready for a new start, and now I am finally ready. Now for some background info.
So I liked this girl and I told her I liked her and she told me when she was ready to be in a relationship that she would tell me because she liked me as well. Well later I found out that she started sating a guy a month later and I was crushed. She only told me she liked me in order to spare my feelings. This made me kinda loose my trust.
So after about half a year I met a different girl. We met at a rehearsal and started talking, not much, just enough to get to know each other. Then we started getting into deeper topics. It was going great. Then we started to hang out a little, she would come over and we would play guitar hero.
Now things are starting to be different. She has started talking to me less and I don't know why. More than anything I would like to tell her that I really like her but I'm afraid that I'm going to get hurt or she is going to tell me something that is just supposed to spare my feelings and give me false hope.
So my question is, should I tell her how I feel? If so, how do I go about doing so? I have social anxiety so these things make me very nervous. | I really like this girl and am scared she doesn't feel the same. I am scared that I will be hurt and given false hope because of past experiences. How do I tell her I like her? |
t3_547gua | relationships | I [27F] like overweight body types and my fiance [31M] is losing too much weight. How can we find a compromise? | We have been together for the last 4 years. When I met him he was 110kg which was a little below what I like but he has a great personality and we hit it off. Everything has been going great except for a few minor issues. He's very caring, we respect each other and have pretty similar if not identical life goals. He has also steadily gained some weight so hooray for me.
The problem is that he has always hated his weight and I hated how it made him feel. I set to aside my preferences and tried to support him by going to the gym, eating healthier with him. I've never really worried before about him actually losing the weight though because he always keeps it up for a 2-3 weeks then goes back to his old habits. However 6 months ago he switched jobs where he can walk to work (30min) and its motivated him to keep going. He's eating well, getting 1 hour of walking then he has energy to go to the gym! He's lost almost 10 kg and I don't think he's going to stop.
He's always thought that I love his body because I love him or that I'm just being nice or love-blinded. But this is actually my preference. My father was a big sweet man and I guess I like the big cuddly body type as a result.
I am worried that it is starting to become an issue and I'm losing my attraction to him even though he's the same sweet guy I've always known. I can't imagine my life without him but I'm just not going to be attracted to him if he keeps losing weight this drastically.
How can I break it to him without being controlling, selfish, giving him an ultimatum or seeming like I've been hiding a secret these years?
I'm hoping there's someone who has been there who can help but any advice is really appreciated. | bf was big and I like big guys, now he's losing weight and I'm losing my attraction to him. What are my options? |
t3_24xcue | relationships | I [19f] have a crush on my Greek twin [19m] | Just to be completely clear: everything I'm talking about is GREEK LIFE. He is NOT my biological twin. I don't know how many of you were/are involved in frats or sororities, so I'll explain. If you already know this stuff, skip this paragraph. In every sorority, you get a "big sis" (just called "big" and you're called her "little"). Sometimes your big will pick up other littles, which can be other sisters or frat boys that she wants to mentor/look out for. If I confuse anyone with the Greek life terms, please ask and I'll clear it up.
So I rushed last fall and got my big last winter. She picked up my twin in March. I've known him for a while and we were all pretty close before she officially picked him up, so it wasn't really a surprise when she asked him to be her little. I was super excited to have a twin, especially one who I get along with so well.
Then about a month ago I realized I'd developed a crush on him and it's been weird for me (thought I never let it show) ever since. I haven't told my big, even though I usually tell her EVERYTHING I can't tell her this. I know we're not biological related or raised together or anything, but "incest" is highly frowned upon in the Greek community. Or at least it is at my school.
I feel so weird even saying it! He's supposed to be like my brother and I can't stop thinking about how cute he is! I've started comparing all other guys to him. I can't just start avoiding him because my big WILL notice and start asking me what's up. Besides, we have family dinners/outings all the time and of course, he's always there. So I can't act on it or even show it and I can't avoid him. What do I do? I'm scared if I just try and ignore it, it'll just get worse and then I'll have a bigger problem. | I have a crush on my frat guy twin. The Greek community frowns on "incest" (besides I'd feel weird) and avoiding him is out of the question. What do I do? |
t3_2q50tj | personalfinance | A Vicious Cycle of Checking Account Rejection | I'll cut to the chase: I want to change checking accounts--I'm currently in TD Student Checking, which offers almost no services/benefits--and I've never bounced a check (though I've only written about 4), and never even come close to having too low of a balance, in over 4 years having this account. Still, I'm running into trouble with consumer reporting agencies--or really one agency, ChexSystems.
My annual income is ~$53,000, and I'm in no debt (luckily had no college loans). I've applied for interest-bearing checking accounts with Capital One 360, Cardinal Bank, and Ally, and all *three* have rejected me, the latter two citing reports by ChexSystems.
So I ordered my Chex report, and under Retail Information it's blank, as well as under History of Checks Ordered...but I've bought things from retailers for the past 4 years with my TD bank card, and I've written checks. I've read about these "second chance" and "clean slate" checking accounts that can be opened, but A- I don't know which is good, if any, and B- if I can, I would like to dispute this empty-ass consumer report. (How do they have nothing on me when I've been spending and saving (once again) for 4 years?!) Please help! | Need a checking account that doesn't check my empty checking history; want to dispute ChexSystems's claims that I'm unworthy. |
t3_194it4 | relationships | I'm [21F] shy, inexperienced and not at all confident - he's [26M] the complete opposite... Would it work? | I've only ever had one boyfriend - I was 18 and lost my virginity to him and he was the first guy I ever kissed. I was only seeing him for about a month before I broke with him because he was becoming weird and controlling. I haven't seen or dated anyone since. I'm really shy and not very confident, I shy away from people who tend to show interest in me because I'm not really sure how to react. I probably wouldn't even know how to flirt with someone, lol. The guy that I'm interested in has been my friend for about 7~8 years. I like him a lot, and it started to become flirty lately. I find myself often wishing we were together... We want the same things, he get along fantastically, we're always making each other laugh and are just a good pair in general. Sometimes I just want to come out and tell him I like him more than a friend, but I worry it just wouldn't work. He's had I think maybe 5 or so actual girlfriends, used to date people often, goes out to bars and clubs and hits it off with girls easily - I feel like it would be really weird when he finds out I've only had sex a few times and don't even know how to kiss very well and he would get freaked out or something. I don't knowwww, am I over thinking things? I'm really paranoid about it. I really like him, but I'm worried I'm too inexperienced for him. I feel like it would be trying to have fun playing a video game with someone who has never picked up a controller in their life.
...I'm sorry for that terrible analogy - haha.
If I did decided to tell him I was more romantically interested in him, should I tell him straight up I'm really inexperienced?
Do you think he'll be scared off because I'm not experienced with dating, sex or relationships?
I really didn't know where to post this, I hope this is the right place. I was tossing up between here, /sex/askmen/askwomen. | I'm completely inexperienced when it comes to dating, sex and relationships - he's not - will I scare him off? |
t3_3r4efk | relationships | (20M) Completely confused by texting pattern by someone (19F) I met recently | Hi guys gonna keep this short and sharp. I met a girl at a bar during a night out and she offered to give me her number so that I could text her. However, whenever she texts me, she ceases contact for the whole day. She doesn't even reply even if I reply to her message soon after she texts me. Is she interested? I do acknowledge the fact that we're both university students but what does the slow response mean? I asked her out via text today but she hasn't replied yet. But judging by her texting pattern, she'd reply tomorrow afternoon. So what does the slow replies mean and do all girls do this? I've never really encountered a girl that texts like this before. Most normally reply quite quickly. I know that this is something quite trivial but its certainly very confusing to me. Women are strange creatures! | met a girl. She offered to give me her number so we could text. She takes a whole day to reply to texts even if i reply to her texts soon after. Is she interested? are all girls like this? |
t3_15nnoc | tifu | TIFU by cutting off a neck-mole with nail clippers | Short and sweet with this one, as it happened moments ago and frankly I'm not feeling so hot
So totally random, last night it was 1am and i touched a pretty raised mole on my neck that I've had since i can remember. It was long enough that you could like roll it between your fingers. NASTY. Well, I wasn't having it. Looked up if people cut off their own moles. Turns out, they do, and I saw a guy used dental floss.
Well I built up the courage, tied a loop around it (difficult) and yanked both ends. Sure enough, it seemed like it was gone, and bled a little bit. Bandaged up, and went to sleep.
Next day, tell my wife, shes pissed, show her, she says hey its still there. I check - damn. Must have only got half. Its been bothering me all day. So I casually ask my wife where are the nail clippers, and enter the bathroom under the guise of bowel movements so as to not be disturbed.
I slowly increase pressure, and it starts to sting. But as I held the pressure, the stinging went away, so I just *CLICK* and bam. done.
Well this one bled a lot more. Like, pretty significantly. Was down to the real skin this time. I'd say about 2oz of blood so far, slowing down a bit.
Anyway, TIFU because now there is freaking blood everywhere, I feel faint, my wife is mad, might have to go to the doctor for realz and I just wish me and my mole had gotten along. | chopped off mole with dental floss and nail clippers, bleeding a lot and 203rjweifhwafaaaaaaaaaaawef |
t3_z8dsn | relationships | Me (M29) found out my gf(F25) had cheated on me about 6 months ago from FB. | So I(M29) was browsing facebook and found out my gf(F25) of 5 years was seeing another guy (maybe mid 20's) about 6 months ago. Seeing those pictures literally made my heart broken. When I confronted her with pictures of her holding hands, she admitted to it and told me that she tried to break up with me before it happened but didn't know how to do it. I slightly remember when she did try bringing it up, but I turned it into a sitcom moment and told her not to kill the moment. When I asked her what she wanted to talk to me about, she ended up telling me in a genuine smile how much she loved me instead.
It was a very short relationship and she said she "almost had sex but she stopped it because she realized he was to different of a person and she realized she really did love me." Can't tell if shes lying or not. She ended it then and there with him when it did get to that point.
I completely feel heart broken and disgusted looking at the person I love this way. We were always happy and hardly ever went into any arguments. She tells me to please forget about it, but if I end it with her she would understand. I feel used or like a fall back guy. I know there are a lot of women out there, but this is the first time I truly have the butterfly feeling in the stomach with a person. I know the current very disgusted feeling (disgusted to the point where I don't even want to hear her voice) would eventually pass but I literally don't have the energy to deal with it. As strong as I am, that hurt more than any physical blow I've ever taken. Quite long, but I just needed somewhere to vent off. Any advice would be much appreciated. | found pics of gf with another guy on FB from 6 months ago. Their relationship didn't last long. Need advice if I should continue on, end it or something else. |
t3_elwll | relationships | Broke up with ex, want to get back together with her, and then some problems... | So i broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years i'm 23 shes 20, she is mature for her age and great to be with. the problem, i broke up with her because i thought i didnt want this anymore and in a couple months work is going to take me across country and blah blah blah. But besides that the relationship was fun, we were living together and having a decent time. I do have some problems opening up, expressing true emotion (years of raising myself and 4 years in the military) so there was that big problem of I dont care enough to express how i feel etc, etc, etc. but that is stuff that i legitimately want to change to get back with her, because come to realize i do want that, just not the jump to living together.
we used to have a nice apartment in san diego, but me getting ready to move, my lease was up and I went to stay with a friend until I was moving across country. And then ended our relationship right there. So basically we have been separated for 3 months now, and in the last month we have been seeing each other a couple times a week and kind of agreed that we would start to fix our relationship and work on it. But today I find her at my buddies house sleeping in the same bed as my friend. obviously a little pissed off, I tell her its fucked that she would do that after we agreed that we were going to start working stuff out, but then she said she didnt sleep with him, I believe her, because she also mentioned that they had slept together but previous of when we started hanging out again.
So i laid it on her that if she was going to give me a chance she isnt going to do shit with that guy, and give me my shot. I think she is going to give it to me, but I caught her in a lie. she told me once with my friend actually ended up being twice. i know its not big, but its the little things that keep adding up, and its really hard for me to trust her.
should i even bother? | broke up with ex, mistake, want to make ammends, been broken up for 3 months, turns out she slept with my friend on a couple of occasions, lied to me about one, is she worth trusting? |
t3_3ebqr8 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my Ex-gf [25 F], lasted about 2.5 yr, broke up 2 years ago and she is STILL texting/emailing me. Recently said she wants to meet up "one last time". I am kind of scared she wants to take us both out... | Its a very long story but I will summarize it.
1) We had a very intense relationship, very close with each other (best friends etc). We broke up because we were fundamentally incompatible (pretty much opposite sex drives, if you dont think that is an issue, you never experienced it)
2) Break up was really bad for her, she didnt want to *actually* break up but she broke up with me to get me back... that made sense in her head
-_-
3) I moved on, slept around a bit, found another girl from my rebound and that was a whole other story.
4) She moved to another state, was texting and emailing me that she still wants to be friends etc. I either ignored her or said to just forget me
5) About 4 months since the last contact, I thought she finally got the message, she sends me a super long message about how she wants to be friends, how great I am, etc. Her email ended with "Its my last time in state and if we really wont be friends, Id like to just catch up one last time. "
Um... yeah. Does anyone get the creeps from the wording?
She has a bf now who has "accepted" that this friendship means so much to her (what friendship??). I just don't understand how to make her stop and forget me. Please help | I think my ex gf is trying to kill me... but otherwise I don't get how much clearer I can be that I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HER! Its been over 2 years! |
t3_1ef37j | AskReddit | How much is an inappropriate/uncomfortable amount to give to a friend to help with medical bills? | Context: A friend of mine's parent is in the hospital in really bad condition. The medical bills are going to be outrageous at best. I and some friends are going to chip in some money for the expenses, and I like to chip in something substantial (several hundred to a thousand dollars), but I don't want it to be weird or uncomfortable for the friend...
I'm already planning on getting a cashier's check and getting it to the friend anonymously to try to alleviate a weird guilt like thing. (I mean really, no one should feel guilty in this situation, but I suspect they will.) What is a good amount to give that won't just make someone feel like they couldn't/shouldn't be accepting the money? | What is the maximum lump sum of money you would feel comfortable accepting (from an anonymous donor) before you think "this is too much, I can't accept it" and really mean it? |
t3_uj3f2 | relationship_advice | how do I get over my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend? i would really appreciate some advice. | 25/F I played a part in breaking up my boyfriend's (25/M) last very long-term relationship. Not on purpose, we were friends, i fell hard. she told me to stay away, was very very cruel to me, and i did tell him i had feelings for him and that i needed to stay away as to not homewreck. they had a nasty break-up, often fought over me (which i didn't know because we didn't speak) though that was not the final reason it ended with them. but of course the second he was willing to come back to me, I did, and it hurt her a lot - even though she was in a VERY seriously relationship with someone else. She often called him asking why he chose me out of all girls. Now that I've fallen for him to the extent that she did, I feel immense guilt - because I can't imagine someone taking him away from me.. and it has just fully dawned on me how selfish my thoughts and actions were - though at the time i denied wanting to take him away from her, clearly since it ended up that way, i very much did want this to happen, and therefore very much did not care about completely derailing someone else's life forever. I know he had a choice in this, you don't have to tell me that. I have apologized to her, but never really explained my fault in this. However, I think it would be selfish of me to try and bring all of this back into her life, if on the off chance, she really is happy again. Can anyone relate? Any words of wisdom on how to forgive myself, or undo my wrongs? I can't talk to anyone about this, we have too many mutual friends and I don't want to create (gasp) *drama*. | Feeling guilty about being an emotional (not physical) homewrecker, and potentially having ruined someone else's life because of it. Has anyone been in this situation before? How do you deal with it? |
t3_gzjzv | AskReddit | Goin' on a road trip from San Diego - Indianapolis for 10 days. Where should I go and what should I do? | Hey Reddit, my girlfriend and I are moving to Indianapolis this summer(early July) and have decided it would be a good time for a road trip since I get "travel time" from work and have a lot of vacation hours saved up.
Here are the details:
* ~10 days for the trip
* Hotels are an option, but we also enjoy camping and have the gear.
* A miniature pinscher will be with us.
* We enjoy nature activities
* our belongings are being shipped so we will be in a car
We are really open to just about anything. We're looking for interesting and fun things to do along the way(restaurants, towns, attractions). I heard of this trilobite mine in Utah where you can excavate fossils and keep what you find and would like to do that. We'd also like to go to Zion and Bryce canyon, but will be limited to the pup trails. Do you guys have any recommendations besides the secz?
We're also looking for good bed and breakfasts and campgrounds along the way if you know of any. | Were driving from San Diego to Indianapolis for 10 days. What should we do along the way? (the title?) |
t3_3mzzhz | Parenting | How to stop a hair grabbing toddler? | My 15 month old has always liked hair. When he was an infant, he just enjoyed running his fingers through hair, enjoying the texture, but the older he gets, the more he grabs. I don't notice it too much on a daily basis because I usually keep my hair in a bun. He will still occasionally grab at the strays around my neck or forehead.
I realized just how bad it is this past weekend with my SIL. He absolutely loves the 10-year-old and loves her long curly hair. It started with his hands accidentally tangled in her hair when she was holding him, but quickly moved on to him purposefully grabbing fistfuls. He was even grabbing after she put her hair up in a ponytail. It really doesn't help that she's a dramatic preteen who absolutely must keep her hair fashionable.
He doesn't seem to be doing it for any other reasons than he enjoys the texture and any reactions he might get. One of the biggest suggestions I see for reaction-based bad behavior is to put them somewhere away from people or turn your back on them and not give them any attention. Two problems with this. First, it takes a lot of effort to remove the victim from his grasp, and second, he's equally as happy wondering off and entertaining himself.
For biting, I've seen the suggestion of offering an alternative teething toy. Are there any good alternatives that can be offered in this situation? Or does anyone have any other suggestions for putting a stop to this behavior? | How do I stop a toddler with an iron grip, who usually doesn't mind if you ignore him, from grabbing hair? |
t3_2lwzpb | tifu | TIFU By Drinking Expired Milk, Eating Vomit Flavored Harry Potter Jelly Bean | At school today I decided I wanted a white milk with my lunch. I casually picked out a milk carton, type in my student ID, and sit down to eat my lunch with me friends. I usually eat all of my lunch first and then drink my milk. So I was looking forward to a nice cold refreshing milk but instead I got a extremely bitter hot disgusting taste of milk that had expired THREE MONTHS AGO. I almost threw up.
Now to my second fuck up (this actually happened earlier in the day). My friends just offered me a jelly bean and told me to eat it. One of my friends girlfriends said "NO PLEASE DON'T EAT IT!" At that point I had no choice to eat it to prove that I am the mother fucking alpha male in my group so I inserted the bean in my mouth. I ran to the bathroom, it was locked, so I had to run to another bathroom that was farther away, and I put a wet piece of paper towel in my mouth and bit down on it. The taste of the paper actually wasn't that bad and it was WAY better than the taste of a vomit flavored jelly bean. Meanwhile one of my friends followe dme into the bathroom and was laughing his ass of at me the whole time reminding me of how much of an idiot I am. | Drank milk that expired 3 months ago, ate vomit flavored jelly bean. Not a good day for my taste buds :( |
t3_36r6q0 | tifu | TIFU by taking viagra | It wasnt today, it was last year.
So anyway, I was 15 years old that time. I came to school, And i was approached by my friends... they wanted to give me some sweets. Me being a dickhead said yes. So they gave me some sweets and it tasted bitter. I asked them what it was and they said it was a harry potter sweet. So i swallowed it in front of them and was retching because of the flavour so i dished out my water bottle and drank all the 500ml of it. Then they started laughing at me, telling me it was viagra. I did not know what viagra was so I asked them WTF that was. They said it makes you get a boner for like 2 hours, That same day I had my Gcse english speaking test (Presentation) and I had a really hard boner and it was pretty noticeable. My friends told everyone in my year and well I got builed becoz of it but I got a hard skin. So during my presentation everyone cannot take their eyes of it including the girls(success?) so i flopped that test and now my nickname is viagrabananaboy. (banana becoz im somali... yes London is a great town for somalis) | Friends gave me viagra, Had boner half the day at skl and flopped my test becoz of it. |
t3_3c9upw | relationships | My boyfriend's (22) HUGE ego is driving me (22) insane! | To start off I'd like to clarify that I really love my boyfriend of two years, I'm glad he has a good self-esteem, and he really is handsome/smart/talented. That being said, his arrogance is insanely annoying and I find that he seems to exaggerate certain...characteristics.
The first and most prominent thing is his view on his looks. He really really seems to think that he's incredibly good-looking. If we go to a party, he'll claim girls are checking him out, or say he's the best looking guy there.
He also believes himself to be MUCH more intelligent then all his peers. He talks about how stupid his classmates are, and says that other people "just don't think". He really pisses me off the most when he says "most girls aren't like you, most girls are stupid" and makes fun of popular things girls like.
He also low-key brags about his cooking skills in an annoying manner by pointing out what he doesn't like when we go out to eat, or insisting on "helping" (aka taking over) if I try to cook.
Now with all of these things, again, he IS good looking, and smart, and good at cooking. But...not as much as he seems to think. It makes me feel terrible whenever I think this but quite frankly he is really overstating these things. I'm very attracted to him, but he's not like...a model or anything. He's just a handsome guy. And a lot of his opinions/thoughts that he seems to think are profound are just things he read online and regurgitates without really reading up on. And as for his cooking....well it tastes great but anything coated in butter or filled with sugar tastes great.
I don't really know how to tell him to tone it down. It's kind of embarrassing when he does this because I want to say "you're NOT ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS" but I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings.
Please, how do I tell my boyfriend that his arrogance is embarrassing and REALLY annoying??? Or at least, how do I tell him he's being arrogant? | Boyfriend thinks he's incredibly handsome, intelligent, and talented. Is annoying about it. His ego is completely overly inflated. |
t3_4rka2e | relationships | My (27/f) bf (33/m) of 2 years didn't react well to me telling him some of my issues | I brought up the idea that my boyfriend might need some time to sort things out on his own fora few days. Lately he's been focusing a lot on a side project that he's involved with for work, while also facing some issues with his old friends moving away.
I had tried talking to him before about anything, yet he doesn't answer my questions, and instead goes straight into talking about something else, typically a different aspect of his project. It's been really frustrating not being able to hold a conversation with him. He says he is very into our relationship and cares a lot, yet he never really listens to what I have to say.
An additional issue is the fact that he has a lot of close friends who are female, who he constantly seems to be talking to. They seem to have much more interesting stories though, as he will spend much of his time talking to them about their issues. Beyond that, he's stopped me telling him something so that he could tell me about one of his friend's issues on a few different occasions. I don't know these girls, honestly I don't care about their stories, and I don't understand why he would rather hear them than me.
I brought up some of these points to him, and he got fairly upset. He said it was GREAT to hear how bad he is at being in a relationship, and sarcastically said he just won't talk about that whole aspect of his life. I didn't mean to be so harsh, but I didn't feel the need to sugarcoat it which probably resulted in it being hard for him to hear. We haven't talked since, except for him telling me he was going away for a week or so. I just don't know how to take all of this, especially his reaction. | my boyfriend doesn't listen as well to me as he does to other girls. I brought this up and now he's very angry with me, where do I go from here? |
t3_1bzisi | AskReddit | Redditors: How do you feel about dating people from other ethnic backgrounds? | I am very open minded and am willing to date anyone I'm attracted to whether they're white, brown or purple. Recently I dated a middle eastern man, I was really into him. When we first met I was a little worried that he was Muslim and thought that would be our biggest hurdle (although I don't know much about Muslims I wouldn't be completely opposed to it, like I said I am open minded), but found out he was Catholic and I am Christian so I thought it could really work between us. Then, I found out after a few dates that he was not allowed to date me because I am not of the same ethnic background. He wouldn't introduce me to his friends or family because I am Caucasian and this is not allowed for him. I guess this is common so in one aspect, I understand. But in another I'm a little angry and feel like it's a little racist (maybe that word is a little harsh). I just can't imagine moving to another country and then only being able to date someone from America (although I've never had to go through that so maybe I'm being insensitive) Anyway, have any of you been through this? Whether you're the one in my shoes or the one only allowed to date people from your culture, please shed some light. | Dated a middle eastern guy who is not allowed to date a white woman. Pisses me off a little. What do you think? |
t3_swwj6 | AskReddit | My childhood friend has to be convinced to go to rehab.... I need help | A friend, whom I have not kept in contact with much, is in trouble. He was homeless, wandering the street, and severely depressed and car jacked a guy with a knife so he could run away. He stupidly called a friend asking for downers in a moment of panic and turned the car around to go see a friend. Needless to say he was caught by cops and is now going to court in a week. We live in Canada BC so i doubt he will get jail time. However, numerous times he has gone to detox and skipped out early. I want to make it clear to him he has to go to rehab, and commit, if he wants to ever talk to me again. He was my best friend and it tears me up inside I don't even trust him in my home. How do I talk to him without him going over the handle. | Childhood friend got messed up on drugs, stole a car, now has a court date. How do I convince him to go to rehab and commit to it. |
t3_m6ndf | dating_advice | Did I screw it up to early? | Okay; a quick backstory. Meet chick at club; start talking, hitting it off, dancing, got her number.
Next day I asked her if she wanted to get high and watch Jurassic Park on DVD. She agrees and invites me over.
Date Day finally (Today, just happened); We start smoking pot then watch Jurassic Park. I moved my hand over and she cuddled throughout the movie.
After the Movie finishes; we decide to watch an Episode of Whose Line Is It Anyways. At the end if Whose Line, I move my hand over to her chin, and get her to look at me. We start kissing, and next thing she's on top of me (At this time, I'm still high-as-fuck). I then proceed to move my hand up her back to get the bra off, she didn't like it an said she was a big girl and then got off. I apologized for trying to be too quick.
At this time I should've left her place, but I decided to push my luck an stay for one more episode of Whose Line. During Whose Line I put my arm around her again and she still cuddled, etc... I didn't push for any more kisses so we just watched the end and then I left.
So did I fuck it up? Should I call her tomorrow? Opinions? | Tried taking her shirt off while making out; says she was a big girl, then proceeded to snuggle for next episode of whose line. |
t3_2otuyy | askwomenadvice | Appropriate for me (17m) to kiss my best friend/maybe girlfriend (17f) | Okay so I'm in high school and I have this really good friend. We have a bunch of classes together and she's always leaning on me/hugging me/that kind of thing. I've gone out with her (you might be able to call them dates but we didn't dedicate it to be a date) and I'm wondering if its appropriate for me to try and kiss her. I really like her and I think she really likes me back. I talked to her about kissing previously which at first she got really weird with me and stopped talking to me but then after a few weeks everything got so much better than it was before. She never gave me a definite answer as to if she's okay with kissing or not. Appropriate to try to kiss her or no? | okay to kiss a girl when she got weird when I asked but now she's even better to me than she used to be |
t3_3y7oqg | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 2 years heard her and her friend over talking about her last Bf | I was at work I got off early through I would go home and surprise my gf. When I got home I found her and her best friend in the back talking and drinking. They did not know I was there. I herd them mention her last bf so I just listened in. It went like this.
lets call him mark
Friend-"mark was suck a goof but god damn he was hot"
her- " remember that one night" they both start giggling
Friend- " I cant believe we did that I never excepted to be in a 3 some "
Her-" ya that night was crazy "
friend " hes so big you were so lucky you had that all the time, is "ME" that big or good in bed ?"
her- " hes ok, but we have fun and I love him"
Friend- " so you mean mark is way better do you miss to GOOD sex?"
her- "a little" both start laughing
I when back to the car a drove for a bit my hole ego is fucking broken right now. I don't even know what to think, like am I that bad or small Ill never compare to "mark" I back at work sitting at my desk typing this I don't even want to go home tonight. What do I do guys... like im fucking broken inside | got home early over heard my gf and her friend talking about her last BF, learned he was huge and hot and better in the sack then me. |
t3_35wbrx | relationships | My [25m] FWB [23f] of 6 months won't have sex with me "right now" since she's "gone gay these days". | I've known this girl since college and we became close. Eventually a sexual relationship formed. After a few years apart we meet again and behind a friendship filled with casual sex. I always knew she was bisexual and didn't care because she seemed pretty interested in having sex with me regularly.
She had me over two weeks ago and this week when I suggest we have some sex she tells me she doesn't want to fuck me "right now" and has "gone gay these days".
My question: I get that we are both using each other for sex to some degree. But am I being used only when it's convenient for her? | bisexual FWB has "gone gay" and can't have sex with me "right now". Am I wrong for feeling used? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.