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t3_2z08er | relationships | Am I wrong? Or she is just a mean girl me[20/M] gf[20/F] | I will try to keep it as short as possible.
I'm having hard time right now, i have been with my gf for more than a year, but these last monthd have been very hard and painful. Last month she wanted to take a "break" because she was tired of being in a relationship, but later i found out she was just having feelings for another guy, who she admitted she likes him and is her crush.
A few weeks later she came back to me and told me that she was wrong, that she was loosing more, i forgave her because i love her so much and i want to be with her.
But his guy that she has been seeing is a guy from her class with whom she goes out, to ride bike to the park, to have lunch or dinner, to the movies, and to play to the coin machines, it really hurst me that she want to do all those stuff with that guy, i have told her that i dont like that, but she keeps doing it,(would all those things be considered date?) she even texts him to ask him if he wants to go to the movies or to have lunch.
But that is not all, i have found out that she has been texting strangers (using wechat), and not just like random stuff, she sends them selfies and pictures of herself, and the other way around too, it is not sexual stuff, but is flirting heavily(she doesnt even say that she has bf, and when they ask her, she denies it), whenever i grab her phone she gets so pissed at me and forcefully takes it away, she doesnt want meto check her phone or facebook, (am i wrong for checking all those?, im not trying to control her or anything, i just dont like her behaviour and how she has been acting lastly)
I feel like she just wants to play with me and just have me around to make her feel special, to make her feel safe. I feel so heartbroken for all this, i have told her that i dont like that she chats with strangers(all of them males), and to the other guy that she does all those things, she hasnt even introduced him to me. | My gf flirts online and goes on dates another guy, how should i tell her to stop doing that? |
t3_4070g7 | tifu | [NSFW] TIFU by watching the Revenant. | So last night myself and a group of friends all went to watch the movie "The Revenant" at a local theater. The theater we went to sells these huge bottles of water, like 25oz bottles, and I drank one by the first half hour into the movie. The movie gets to this one scene where a guy pulls an arrow out of his shoulder and it freaks me out to the point where I realize that I really need to piss.
So I decide that because I don't want to miss any of the movie I should piss in this big-ass water bottle that I have in front of me. I figured that the water bottle would be big enough to hold it all in, no problem. So I'm emptying my bladder right in the middle of this fairly crowded movie theater, and no one's the wiser. I finish pissing in the water bottle and reached over to get the cap; I dropped the bottle.
Piss goes everywhere, all over the floor, all over me, it's a complete catastrophe. everyone within two rows of where we're sitting looks at where I am with disgusted looks on their faces. Everyone around me starts giggling and making noise of disgust. I nudged my friend in the arm telling him that I should probably leave and go home and change. He offered to go with me and make sure that I didn't piss on anything else while I leave the theater. Me and my friend left the movie theater and drove back to my house so I could change clothes. I got a text message from every one of my friends who were there and I've earned the nick name Mr. PeePeebody. | I pissed in a water bottle while watching the Revenant and failed miserably. I am now named Mr. PeePeeBody. |
t3_2zwe0x | relationships | [21/m] to forgive ex-close friend [20/f], or not? | So this is actually an issue that I guess comes back to haunt me every so often: when I was 19 (She was 18) I really liked this girl; she ended up not liking me back, and was essentially a total bitch about it. I mean when we were friends for ~6 months, we had a real meaningful connection and were actually super close. One of the closer friends I've had in life and I mean I didn't even know the person for that long, but i mean it was just a strong connection since we were similar in lots of ways.
I haven't talked to her in about 1.5-2 years at this point... I mean I've had a soft spot for her ever since we stopped talking just because we were such good friends at that point. For the last 1.5-2 years I kind of always thought in the back of my mind, if she was ever willing to talk to me again, fuck it, I'd forgive her and and talk to her just to have that meaningful connection in my life again... I mean it's always good to have people you like in your life right?
But the more I think about, the more I realize, she's kind of a fuck of a person at a more core level (at least at that point in her life, and consequently probably now as well). And now at this point in my own life, I'm kind of conflicted on what to do... Are you supposed to be all forgiving and understanding in life towards those who have wronged you? Or are you actually supposed to take a stand and say, well fuck I mean I don't really need this, and totally close of any chance of forgiveness? I want to do the latter, but the former seems to me what a 'big person' would do. | Had a close friend who I had a GENUINE strong connection with, but who also was a bitch. To forgive or not to forgive? In general, what's the right approach to take in life towards these situation types? |
t3_nrz5l | AskReddit | Jaw wired shut, problems keeping medicine down, help? | Little backstory, my girlfriend has (had) an underbite, which doctors decided could cause issues later on. Surgery ensued to correct it, which was one week ago. After two nights in the hospital, since the first night involved vomiting of blood, she was allowed to go home. Her mom is staying with her to "help" while she recovers for 6 weeks. Turns out all the terrible stories of her mother being evil are true. She does nothing but yell, insult, and demean my girlfriend. Even making sure to call her fat. Usually I don't consider 155lb at 5'9" fat, but to each their own.
On to Christmas day, turns out she is allergic to some meds, leading to a hive breakout and fever. To be safe, the doctors give her all new ones. However, the new antibiotics are so disgusting, coupled with the nausea she has been experiencing, she can hardly get them down, leading to vomiting half the time. This of course only causes her mom to yell about her being pathetic. Yes, that word was used.
She is currently on anti-nausea meds, but they don't seem to be doing much. The antibiotics are called clindamycin palmitate hydrochloride, if it matters. Any advice on helping to get over the taste of things while your jaw is wired shut is appreciated, or even advice on how to deal with the communication barriers and such involved. | Girlfriend's jaw is wires shut for 6 weeks, antibiotics taste too disgusting to get/keep down, need advice on how to help her take her meds. |
t3_2tsdfv | relationships | I [21 M] think I messed it up with my [21 F] ex girlfriend for good | My girlfriend broke up with me 4 months ago. I was pretty hurt over it but I knew she wasn't as happy as she should be in the relationship with me. Anyway she kept talking to me after the breakup and seemed to want to work back into being in a relationship again. We've been talking almost regularly and even met for coffee and slept together a few times.
About 2 months ago a bunch of us from my program at school went out for drinks and this girl from my class and I seemed to click at the moment so we ended up going back to her place after and had sex. Just this past month I was with my ex again and she asked if I'd been with anyone else. I denied it at first but she asked again and I confessed. She burst into tears and I honestly felt horrible. I don't think I've seen her as hurt before. I know she hasn't been with any other guys aside from me since the breakup. I still love her and we've been talking about trying to get back together but now I know she's got this distrust in me and I guess I can't blame her. She's more worried about this other girl I slept with than I am because I do see her everyday in class and we are friends. Is there any chance of rebuilding our relationship or is it beyond repair? | Ex girlfriend broke up with me but we continued seeing and sleeping with each other. I would like for us to try again but I told her I slept with someone else and now she doesn't trust me. Is it over for good? |
t3_20a2zx | loseit | calorie deficit = lose weight and gain muscle OR calorie deficit = overall body size will "level out" to accommodate the new calorie budget. | A great friend of mine and I are a bit at odds with how we come to understand this concept, so I thought I'd ask here and hopefully get some good information on the topic to finally settle mine and my friend's understanding.
One argument is that at a calorie deficit, one can gain muscle while losing weight. While doing this, a lot of protein will be needed to help repair the muscles being "worked out".
The other argument is that at a calorie deficit, one's body will simply increase its size or decrease its size until there is a balance between the calories being burned and the amount being taken in. This means muscles that may require more calories than their share of calories at the calorie deficit will decrease in size/atrophy while muscles that are in surplus calories in their share of calories at the calorie deficit will become larger.
If the second argument is true, could it be possible that any muscle gains be at the cost of other muscles in your body that are not being used? | read the title - calorie deficit = lose weight and gain muscle OR calorie deficit = overall body size will "level out" to accommodate the new calorie budget. |
t3_214bj4 | relationships | My boyfriend [31 M] lied to me [19 F] about his age. | My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year, but recently began dating 3 months ago. This is my first serious relationship. When we met, he told me he was 24, and I thought that he had turned 25 last September. He recently told me that he is actually 31. When I asked him why he lied to me about his age, he said that he was scared that I wouldn't be interested in him due to an age gap. If he had told me within a couple weeks of meeting him, I wouldn't be too upset, but he kept this from me for a whole year! I like and care about him very much at this point, so his age isn't a huge problem, but I know if he had told me in the beginning I probably wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with him.
Honesty and trust issues aside, the thing I'm most worried about is telling my parents. My mom is VERY protective, stubborn, and for lack of better words, a bit crazy. I have no idea how to handle this. If I tell her what happened, she will expect me to break up with him and she will not want to have anything to do with him or ever meet him. She'll essentially hate him for lying and there is no way she will be having a 31 year old man date her 19 year old daughter. I don't want to lie to my mom, but I don't know if I can handle the consequences of telling her the truth. My mom is meeting him in a couple of weeks. I am so torn and conflicted about what to do. I can't handle lying to her, but I feel like telling her the truth will be worse.
I am still in shock about the whole thing, and I don't know how to react. I had a long conversation with him about my trust being broken and that if he is dishonest with me again I'll have to rethink our relationship. I like him too much to break up with him over this at this point, but I'm very hurt and confused at the same time. Any advice on how to handle the situation is appreciated! | My boyfriend lied to me about being 25. He is actually 31. How should I handle this? How should I handle telling my mom? |
t3_gy3ua | relationships | Lied to my SO and need advice on limiting the damage, and regaining trust. | I (32M) attended a going away gathering that was arranged for an ex a few weeks ago. I did not tell my SO. I did not plan to go, but rather ended up there with some friends. I was not there specifically to see the ex, and our interactions did not go beyond pleasantries.
A few nights ago, while out with my SO, we were introduced to someone who was at the gathering and she mentioned meeting me at "exs party the other day."
I panicked and for no good reason told my SO that it was months ago. She asked me twice if I was telling her the truth. The second time, a couple days after I lied, I admitted that I lied about the timing.
She seems to want to forgive me, but is not ok with any of it, nor should she be. I need advice on how to 1) regain her trust and 2) convince her that attending the party was not about me wanting to see the ex.
For context, SO is 24F. No significant age difference problems. We have been together for nearly 6 months. And I love her. | Didn't tell my SO I attended party for a ex, then lied about the timing of it. Need advice on repairing the damage. |
t3_vk2n6 | AskReddit | I just found out my great aunt died... In February. Why does your family infuriate you? | My great aunt died on February 21st. No one called me, any of my cousins, my aunts, my mother, or my uncle to let us know. I just found out by Googling her name. (She was in ww2 and I was watching a movie about hitler, just wanted to see if there was any cool shit she'd done and never told us about, so I could ask her about it when I went for a surprise visit Wednesday.) On one hand, at least I didn't make it to her apt and find someone else there. On the other, my heart is broken. This woman has played a huge role in my deciding what kind of person I want to be. She was a smartass, she said what she thought, not what she thought you should hear, and she was an all around amazing person. The fact that her children and grandchildren didn't think we needed to know makes me so mad I can't see straight. Sure, maybe we haven't been around as much as we should have been, but this woman meant something to all of us. | My (extended) family can eat a bag of dicks because my great aunt has been dead for four months and nobody told my aunts, uncle, mother, cousins, or me. |
t3_505qfo | relationships | I [23M] just started a job post graduation where I commute into a major city by train. A girl [2?F] the last couple of times has sat next to me. How to say hi? | Hi everyone. So pretty much the title. Just started working and commuting everyday to save money by living at home. The train I am on starts in my hometown and goes directly into the city with only a few stops at the beginning of the trip. Being rush hour, it gets crowded pretty quickly so seats are taken fast.
The last couple of times a girl has sat next to me where I get on (so also from my town) but is always preoccupied with something. Examples being phone, music already playing, etc. The first time she sat there I assumed like any other situation that she sat there because that was the best option, but now that it's happened more than once I want to at least know her name even if she isn't interested in anything. Commuting is kind of lonely and knowing someone, not in a dating sense, around my age in my situation would be nice. I'm mainly asking here because I'm not really sure how to say anything without being weird, especially since neither of us have acknowledged the other. | Just started commuting to work. Girl around my age has sat next to me on crowded train more than once now in the last couple weeks. Not sure how to say hi. |
t3_3lyh64 | relationships | Non-Romantic - Should I [28F] tell my friendly co-worker [47F] the hard truth about her negativity? | * | Co-worker, in small office, is super negative and it's unhealthy for me. I need to back away from the relationship. How should I handle this? Make excuses? Or tell her the hard truth? |
t3_3fns9h | tifu | TIFU by posting something from Gawker on the Reddit. | Dear Reddit,
Posted something without thinking today. I suppose I was just looking for a few extra karma thingies. What I learned in the next 20 minutes is... I guess Gawker is one of the worst websites out there for information apparently? I also suppose using clickbait language wasn't the wisest thing to do either, or as the moderator mentioned the post was, "with a title to incite internet warriors to harass an individual." Oh snap. I was just looking for the original source, then came up with a creative title. But of course I will never be able to prove my brain thinkings. It's funny how you question your own motives after you get in trouble. Now I'm banned from a sub-reddit. I thought I was getting used to reddit, but today I realized I'm still quite the novice. I should've also remembered what that one teacher taught back in high school, "Always read the instructions first."...or in this case the sidebar. Getting banned is the weirdest feeling and is kinda along the lines of getting a speeding ticket, getting grounded, getting suspended from school and maybe some other analogies that would probably be really good that I can't think of currently. It's also weird all the stuff that runs through your brain the moment you are banned. Be good redditors. Always be considerate of others. It's those moments that catch you off guard where you say something quickly that screw you in the end. But I suppose I can now check that off my accidental unknown bucket list. In the end I just feel like I offended the moderator, probably didn't 'cause they deal with this every day, but yeah, you see how it messed with my mind? Anyways, it was a screw up that I'll always remember so it is what it is. | Posted something inflammatory from Gawker for karma. Didn't read sidebar. Got banned. Checked off that accidental bucket list item. Be kind to everyone. |
t3_25hpvg | relationship_advice | I [27/m] am jealous because of my girlfriends' [26/f] friendship with one of or coworkers | We've been together for one year and we're very serious. All the following information I know from various stories she has told me.
She hangs out a lot with this one guy from work, who's known to be a bit of a womanizer. They spend their breaks together, go to lunch together(don't know how often it's just them or they're with other people as well), he gives her rides home. At one point he said he thinks they're really really alike and that she should add him on facebook so they can communicate more - both me and my girlfriend agree this was a bit too much and borders romantic interest.
He is in a relationship as well, actually he's engaged, and I know his fiancee is jealous of their friendship as well, as she doesn't let him contact my gf outside of work(I suspect he cheated on her before).
I am jealous because of this situation, their friendship grew and grew and I became more uneasy about it. I am convinced my girlfriend doesn't want to cheat on me, but who knows in the future when they're away to a conference(which will happen in a few months) when we'll have some trouble in our relationship - he will be there, always.
I planned to just let these feelings of jealousy decrease but they're not going away, I am feeling bad. I haven't said anything to my girlfriend yet because I don't think it can do much good. Since they work together they will see each other anyway and also I cannot deprive my girlfriend of her closest work-friend just like that. If I say anything that might lead to their friendship to diminish, but probably for a short period of time only and she would probably start hiding details from me for fears of triggering my jealousy.
What should I do? I hoped my girlfriend would take a few steps back from this friendship on her own initiative but there's no sign of this happening. | Girlfriend spends a lot of time at work with a guy who's a bit of a womanizer and this makes me jealous. They will be going away to conferences in the future and this worries me in the long run. |
t3_4xrl9o | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend's [22M] cat [11M?] has fleas and they've been making me miserable to the point I don't want to see my boyfriend. | Hey Reddit, thanks for reading my post.
My boyfriend-we can call him Pete- and I have been together about 6 months now. He just recently moved back in with his family and they have this cat, Jim. It's not actually Pete's cat-he just coexists with him I guess.
Now, Jim has fleas and Pete's family isn't paying for any flea medication because it's too expensive and Jim always ends up taking off his flea collar somehow.
Pete is living in his family's garage and they normally leave all the doors open since that's the main way people get in and out of the house. So just closing the doors so Jim can't get in wont solve the problem.
Jim likes to sleep on Pete's bed when Pete isn't around so he ends up leaving his fleas or bugs in the bed or room.
Now, I only really sleepover or hang out with Pete about 3 times a week but these fleas are really starting to make a meal out of me and it's proving highly uncomfortable to the point I don't want to see Pete unless we're out of his house.
And here I come to you, Reddit. I don't know how to approach this without offending my boyfriend, hurting the relationship, or offending his family. I wouldn't mind paying for Frontline Plus but like I said, I don't want to offend Pete's family. I can't really find any alternatives either.
Also i can't get medicine for the itching and swelling because the last time something like this happened, I was told that I was allergic to the antibiotics and made my symptoms worse. They couldn't give me an alternative other than just waiting it out.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. | my boyfriend's cat has fleas that are making me miserable to the point I don't want to see him unless we're out of the house. What do I do? |
t3_3p5o5m | relationships | Me [20M] with my GF [19F] 6 months, had lucid nightmare about her while camping with her | Backstory: I was really abused by my mom when I was much younger which influences all my relationships and sometimes makes me codependent. Both of us are really smart and successful on the outside but have issues (me with inferiority, her with superiority complex).
We start camping, things are good, then she can't sleep because of a stuffy nose. At one point I leaned into her to ask how her nose felt and she snapped pretty aggressively because apparently she was about to get to sleep and I interrupted.
She apologized, we both go to sleep. Next thing I know, I'm in a lucid nightmare.
I'm in my childhood neighborhood, and everyone in it is dead. It's pitch black and silent. I walk out of my childhood best friends house, and start losing my shit (was having a bad high in the dream, and quit smoking weed 2 weeks ago because of anxiety). I call my mom for help, and nobody answers.
Suddenly I'm wrenched, from my stomach it seems, into the next scene as if I were waking up. The next scene is me and my girlfriend and her friend in our university's library. I start to tell her "I am losing my shit; can you help me" etc and scream her name but I am 90% unable to speak. She notices, but prioritized her homework and doesn't help.
I'm wrenched "awake" again to the tent (but still dreaming) and try shaking her awake to tell her about my dream/cry on her. At this point, I've never felt this much stress and anxiety at one concentrated moment in my life ever. She tells me to shut up and let her sleep.
Then I wake up in real life and talk to her about it. It freaked her out, and now shit is definitely weird the next day (today). We're at her house for a break. | had a not necessarily awful, but incredibly lucid and panicked nightmare in which my girlfriend would not acknowledge my fear/help me. Anyone had a similar experience? Thoughts? Interpretations? |
t3_w9f1y | AskReddit | What influenced your views on religion. Also how did your parents influence it? | I myself am only 15 so obviously I'm still finding my way, but I am leaning towards atheism. For all of elementary school (grades 1-5) I went to a private Christian school, so obviously that was sort of my default religion, although my family didn't go to church. However, one thing that really influenced me or i guess opened me was when me and my family were going to go to my Christian grandmother's funeral, and I heard my dad ask my mom if it mattered that he didn't believe, or something to that extent, but I began to think what might he not believe, and that night I stumbled across atheism and agnosticism on the internet, and was amazed that there was a whole other world out there. From 6th grade up I've just gone to a public school, and I've had freedom with religion in my house, I mean my parents don't go to church or anything, although I believe my mother's side is Christian, and we still celebrate stuff like Christmas and Easter, although we don't go to church on either. | So basically accidentally hearing my dad began the shaping of my views, plus a loose take on religion in my house, what about you guys? |
t3_z33o0 | AskReddit | The most massive black hole known is ~1/30 as dense as the atmosphere. What facts do you know that seem impossible but make perfect sense after explanation? | Explanation:
[NGC 4889, 21 Billion Solar Masses](
[21 billion solar masses is 4.2 * 10 ^ 40 KG](
[Schwarzschild radius is 6 * 10 ^ 13 meters](
[Volume is ~10^42 cubic meters](
[**Density is 0.042 kg/m^3**](
[Air at sea level has a density of 1.225 kg/m^3](
[That leaves us with a ratio of 1 to 29.2](
Basically, the most massive black hole is much less dense than air, and only 3 times as dense as the Martian atmosphere. This actually makes perfect sense because the Schwarzschild radius increases linearly with mass while the volume increases cubicly with radius. So, if you double the mass, the volume of the black hole increases by a factor of 8. For reference, our sun would have a Schwarzschild radius of about 3 kilometers. It's density would be 1.8434×10^19 Kg/m^3. | If you double the mass, volume of a black hole at the Schwarzschild radius (event horizon) increases by a factor of 8. |
t3_z90hz | AskReddit | Reddit, what I do to make this world a better place? | I'm not a millionaire philanthropist and I'm not a research scientist about to find a cure for cancer. I'm just a regular guy, borderline alcoholic, tired, and fed up of this world being such a shit place for so many people.
I'm not in a good place personally, evidently, and I've fallen into a rut. I've spent the day drinking and thinking about what I'm going to do with my life because at the moment it's going nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm very fortunate. I don't have any savings and I might be getting divorced soon (at 24), but I have a roof over my head, I have a caring family, I have a job, and I have my health.
And then I began to think that really, given my situation, I've got nothing to bitch about—I'm better off than 99% of the people in this world. Yes, I'm still in a rut personally, but I'm in a better place than most other people. So that got me thinking a bit more, and I decided to spend a little bit of time each day to make someone else's life a bit better.
So, here's where you guys come in: how do I do this?
I'm not Bruce Wayne, I'm no vigilante, I have a full-time job, I have virtually no money, and I have very few talents.
So I'm looking for ideas, small ideas, small things that I can do each day, actively, to make this world a little bit better—for me and for other people.
Any ideas? | What are some simple things I could do each day to make the world (my world, someone else's world) a tinsy bit better? |
t3_1b4s9h | relationships | Is it wrong for me [21m] to have a girl [17f] stay over at my house for a weekend? | There's a girl I used to work with, who is currently going to highschool about 4 hours away from me. She started messaging me on facebook about 2 months ago, and we've grown more and more flirtatious since.
This girl likes me a lot, and we've kind of discussed dating in the future when we could live in the same town. I like her back but want to spend time with her to figure out that for sure.
This summer, she wants to come visit me so we can have sex and spend some time together. Is this wrong?
I think I'm too concerned with what other people think, and should just do whatever I think will make me happy. But at the same time, is it my responsibility to be an adult and wait until she's 18? Even though in Canada the age of consent is 16. | Girl [17] and I [21] like each other. Want to have her over for a weekend to spend time together. Is she too young? |
t3_jski5 | relationship_advice | In a serious relationship, but less than thrilled. Does this have a happy ending? | Okay, dude in my mid-20's here. In a relationship with a girl for about a year, slightly more. She's the same age as me, and we are from the same city, known each other a long while.
Anyway, for whatever reason we were really happy to be together at first. It was all very romantic and optimistic. We made plans long into the future together. But now, I look at her and I'm not as crazy into her anymore. I guess as time goes on, more of our differences are coming into light, and I am starting to look at other females.
Problem is, I can't tell if I always do this (been in several relationships, also dated and have been single a lot), or if I should really think about other options. I don't want to break up with her now that we have sort of a life-style together, but I'm not totally happy with some things about her. For instance, the way she dresses can be boy-ish, she refuses to wear makeup or anything girly, and she's not very athletic while I am very athletic. I knew this all from the beginning and I thought it was cute, but now that the whole "M" word has been spoken, I'm not sure if I could deal with it forever.
It sounds shallow, especially since there is a TON about her that I really like, and makes us very compatible. It's just those masculinity/femininity things that kinda bug me, especially the things that turn me off/make me less attracted to her. | In a nutshell, if this was just a girlfriend I have right now, I would be cool, but now that we are talking about commitment and marriage and stuff, I'm hesitant. |
t3_1ttukj | relationships | My (ex?) boyfriend [M26] repeatedly fantasizes about the same women he knows, over and over. I [F26] don't know what to do anymore. | This has been an ongoing problem in our relationship for quite some time. It's literally the same two or three girls, he stalks their FB posts, and then looks up porn of women that look similar to them.
I get fantasizing is perfectly normal, and I have no problem with porn, but what really hurts me is that he's constructed some sort of 'relationship' with them in his head, and this has been going on for almost two years.
Additionally, if we fight, or something bad happens between us, he'll start comparing me to them (he won't explicitly say so, but he'll start attacking me for my life not being as together as theirs, etc). I already set the boundaries that I won't be his girlfriend if this bizarre behavior continues (bizarre because of the whole mind/second relationship aspect).
I hate this. I broke up with him but now we are in this tenuous "friendship" phase. My whole life is wrapped around him, and I love him dearly, but I am just so depressed. Not only because I find myself comparing myself to them (they're younger, taller, prettier, bigger boobs... etc. etc.), but the fact that we never had a "whole" relationship because "they" were always in his head.
What do I do? Where do I go from here? Am I over-reacting or is this the right way to end things? | crazy boyfriend had years-long relationships with the same women he knows, in his head until I found out. It poisoned our relationship, and made me depressed because he would compare me to them. |
t3_1yd780 | self | Going through a very stressful time right now, any advice or support is appreciated... | I am a senior in college. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, not even a "type" of job I am looking for for next year. I don't know where to live; my parents live in another country and I don't want to live in the city they live in. I have a good relationship with them but that city just doesn't feel like home anymore.
I've been looking for jobs since about November, when I found out I wouldn't actually be graduating late (I thought I would need an extra semester). I feel like I've applied to 50-100 jobs so far. Most do not respond at all. I've had a few interviews and been rejected. Since I don't even know what industry or kind of job I want, it's been very difficult to even find things to apply to, especially now, as I feel I've applied to everything out there that I qualify for (which isn't much - I'm graduating with a liberal arts degree).
My boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up on the 1st. All of my close girlfriends are in extremely serious relationships (going to move in with their boyfriends next year) and I feel totally left behind. In a lot of ways I know this isn't true, but part of me really feels like college was the ideal place to meet a husband and I blew it. I know there will be other guys in the future, but the feeling like I wasn't special to him and he doesn't give a shit what happens to me anymore is weighing heavily on me right now. | In short, I am terrified. In a few months I will be graduating with no job, no place to live, and no boyfriend. I feel like there isn't much point to living anymore. |
t3_2uyo18 | relationships | I (30M) have tried moving on but now self doubt and second guessing is ruining me. | For ten years I was married and to the surprise of many due to stereotypes was the subject of verbal and mental abuse for close to half of the marriage from my ex-wife. I moved on though after finally not being able to take it anymore one day and left her. Last year I entered my first deep and meaningful relationship since then and fell in love with someone who truly loves me and I love her.
She's amazing and has actually done nothing or caused nothing. I however have found myself plagued with doubt at times about my worth even to the point when she takes an extended time to respond to a text or says something that has a logical and valid explanation my first assumption is the worst like she's cheating on me or lying to me because I'm not good enough.
It's tearing me up and starting to effect conversations here and there and my own confidence. I don't want it to come to the point where it spills over from my own internal debates and thoughts to issues with us.
Help. | Nearly five years of mental and verbal abuse in my first marriage has robbed me of my confidence and self worth to where I constantly doubt my new GF's affection and love. |
t3_1hz0o9 | relationships | [27M]y selectiveness for relationships makes me wonder if I miss opportunities... | I've never had any issue being confident enough to get a date or to go on a date, but I am very "picky" who I get in a relationship with. It seems to get me in relationships only about as often as the Olympics occur.
Every time I go through a breakup it is absolutely heart wrenching as I feel the doubt and pressure that I won't find someone I want to be with long term.
For example, recently, I dated a girl (for the first time since October 2011) and after two months, she dropped me for her "friend". Won't go into that... She was so affectionate, talked about our future, and constantly reminded me she liked me. I was cautious at first because it was so heavy so fast, but once I started to let myself open up she opted out. Two months later it still is a little upsetting which I KNOW is ridiculous.
I've had many opportunities in the last year, but I run into mental blocks after a few dates. One talked about sex to my family (birthday at a bar, didn't intend for them to meet so early), one didn't understand the concept of a budget, another was a roller coaster of insecurity, another had a kid, another lied about her career, etc.
Last weekend, a friend labeled me "Ted Mosby" and that stung more than it should. "Dude, you're constantly going on dates, you get excited at first, but you never find what you're looking for... you're the group's Ted". I guess I don't want that to be my reputation or the definition of my dating life.
Should change my attitude when considering getting into a relationship? Allow more time to tell whether or not my deal-breakers are valid? I thought quality over quantity was best, but it hasn't worked out so far.
Thank you in advance | I recognize I'm picky. Should I change my approach to dating/relationships from quality over quantity to trial and error? |
t3_jf9l1 | AskReddit | I need help to win back my girls heart... | So a bit of background, my fiancee and I have been together for a year and a half. She moved up to Seattle with me when I moved here, due to a military move. I proposed back in June, but we live in Seattle, which is cold and gloomy place. She hates it... Absolutely hates it and says she is miserable. The other night we had a fight. Words were exchanged and feelings were hurt, but yesterday, we made up and all was well... So I thought anyway...
Today, two hours before I went to work. I found out that she has been thinking about going home. She says that its time to make herself happy and we will work on our relationship long distance. I begged her not to go with no good news coming from it. She says shes about 80%-90% sure and her stupid "best friend" is at our apartment right now basically convincing her to go. To add to this fire and bitch slap me harder, she told me that she is thinking about leaving on Tuesday... 6 fucking day away...
I need help Reddit. I need to steal my girls heart back and let her know that I love her. I want to plan something spectacular... Something she will never forget. And Reddit, if she leaves, she'll have the best damn week in her life, this week... But, I need help with ideas for something to blow her heart up in love... I need your help reddit... | Fiancee wants to move because she hates it here, but is happy with me... I don't want her to go. Please help? |
t3_nuplk | AskReddit | BYOB Apartment party ideas? | So this isn't the first time Ive had a party at my place. I've had successful ones and failures. And wouldn't you know, the success of the party was generally based on whether I provided alcohol or not.
What I have found are the people I enjoy to be around will come even if there isn't alcohol provided.
Anyways it's the end of the month and on top of that Christmas went by so I aint got shit when it comes to money, so they ain't gettin none of my booze.
What I am getting at here isn't themes or what not, but party games. We already have the basics, a nice handcrafted pong table, good surround sound stereo, flip-cup. You know the typical drinking games.
But I know you reddit, you guys will come up with something cheap and easy that would be a major hit at this party. I'm looking for something unique! It also has to be able to be done in a 3 bed, 2 bath apartment, with a small balcony, and otherwise no outdoor access.
I have easy access to a computer which can be connected to a large tv in the main room. And there are no pets to play pin the tail on... | I have a first world problem, I need to entertain people I dont know or necessarily care about, with out feeding them copious amounts of alcohol. CHEERS! |
t3_2anh2t | relationships | Just broke up with my (20F) girlfriend (20F) of almost 3yrs last week. Should I date? | As the title says, I just broke up with my live-in girlfriend and I feel fine about it. It's been a long time coming and we broke up about a month ago but got back together a few days later. I said that she could get with anyone and see what it's like. She slept with her ex, (who, incidentally, she cheated on me with 6 months into our relationship, but we stayed together) and I was okay with it, but finished with the relationship. She's destroyed about it, but I just feel excited to move on with my new life without her. I've been speaking to someone on tinder (24F) for a few days and she wants to meet up. Is it too soon to date, even if I'm not upset about the break up? | just broke up with my girlfriend last week, started talking to a girl and she wants to meet up. Too soon? |
t3_2k3d9m | relationships | Me [33 M] married to my wife [32 F] for 9 years in a happy marriage. She feels she needs to leave. | Long complicated story - wife of 9 years, together for 15 in a happy fulfilling relationship. She has a long complicated history of mental illness and depression. For the most part she has been stable for our entire relationship, though she has bouts and has been in therapy. Over the last month or so she started to become cold, hiding things from me, and emotionless.
We were trying to have children for most of this year and found out a little over a month ago that we couldn't, and it was because of me. During this time I have been travelling for work more than I have been home, and she has as well. We started to argue because I didn't understand why she was acting this way, and I found that she had started smoking again (we quit over 7 years ago). A couple of days ago, she told me that she wanted to leave.
She says that she hates herself and has codependency issues (stemming from her childhood). She says she hasn't been happy for the last 5 years and although some of our best times and memories are in this span of time, she hasn't been dealing with day to day. She says she spends all of her time and energy into making sure I am happy at the expense of herself. She doesn't feel that she can be happy or figure out her issues unless she goes away.
I'm shattered. I want to be supportive and help her. She can't tell me if she will ever come back because she doesn't want to make promises to me, because that would be counterproductive and she would be trying to make me happy when she doesn't know what is going to happen. I've convinced her to stay while she starts counseling and I will give her all the space she needs. She agreed, but still seems adamant that separation is inevitable. She swears she loves me and says that we can never have the marriage I deserve unless she learns to love herself first. While I am trying to be accepting that maybe she is right, I will never be able to really understand what she is going through. All I see is her throwing away what seemed like a happy marriage instead of trying to work things out. I don't know what to do. | Wife with depression needs to leave to find happiness, and I want her to be happy but want to save our marriage. |
t3_1l3bj7 | relationship_advice | [23/f] when is it over? | Hi,
I'm 23 and I've been with the same guy (25 yo) for a little more than 4 years now. There has been a lot of ups and downs, but overall I think we've helped each other more than hurt each other. We're both pretty different. He's an extrovert who enjoys socializing and I'm an introvert who wants to be home to watch tv shows and hang out with my dog. He's a huge procrastinator and half asses everything, while I'm proactive and want to try my hardest at everything. He has ADD (forgets things, really unorganized and unfocused) and I have OCD (I need to have a plan, try to remember every detail, and am super organized). There's a lot more but I don't want this to be too long lol.
The biggest problem we have is communication. We never get past the "but you said this" and always end up *arguing over nothing*. We've been arguing a lot more recently and I'm just wondering ... **how do you know when it's over?** I've really been thinking about how my life would be without him a lot more recently. We pretty much spend almost all our time together so everything would change drastically. I feel more irritated than normal and I feel like its affecting my other relationships. I care about him deeply and I love him. I'm just not sure of our future together and if we are right for each other if we continue arguing over EVERY LITTLE THING. | Me and my SO are really different and I'm really wondering if it is starting to take a toll on our relationship. Are we too different to be together? Or are these types of arguments normal? |
t3_2q6l29 | relationships | Me [29 M] has a mad crush on my friend [29 F] and it's causing depression, need serious help. vote up please | I've got serious feelings for this one girl I recently met some months ago and I have fallen big time for her.
Not being able to do anything about because I'm sure feelings are not mutual. We're of different ethnicity, i'm shorter than her, and she says I'm the nicest and sweetest guy she has ever met, but she has a 5 year long boyfriend that she thinks is never going to propose marriage. We work together and I'm her leading boss.
This crush is causing me some serious depression and affecting my day-to-day behavior and moods. I literally can't stop thinking about her and wanting to talk to her and spend more time with her. I want so badly to look after her and take her out but I can't and even if I tried I already know it will be futile attempts as I'm simply not in her league and she will only ever see me as that nicest guy friend.
Any advice or suggestions or tips will be greatly appreciated.
No, I do not just want to bang her. I want to catch grenades for her and build a family with her.
No dumb advice like separate yourself and her from your work as that ain't gonna fly. Neither is getting drunk good advice. | Serious honest feelings for a girl that I can't do anything about, causing depression and affecting health/moods. Need advice and help please. |
t3_4e0u2x | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex gf [21 f] 11 months, do i ask for my money back? | Just broke up with my gf of 11 months. we were saving up to buy her a car and she has 2k of mine in her bank account. she has stated that she is more than willing to give it back if i ask for it.
i don't actually "need" the money. i am in a much better state than she is, but it is still a lot of money to me right now and would really help.
the problem is that she depended on me for a lot and now that we have broken up she is sleeping on a friends couch with a really bad car and about 4k of her money.
but she owned most of the furniture so i need quite a few things replaced with her moving out and i don't have
the lump cash to buy it or the credit score to finance. | broke up with my gf, do i ask for my money back? she needs it more than me. but...money?? |
t3_36bcfl | relationships | My partner [25 F] and I [22 gender neutral] are having an issue talking about drugs. | My partner and I have been together for a few months and are planning to move in together. I am strictly substance free. She drinks very rarely and smokes pot even less frequently than that.
I feel really uncomfortable about her smoking pot. The drinking doesn't bother me at all but I can't get past the weed. I'm having a hard time explaining my feelings to her, which might be part of the problem. To be clear, she hasn't smoked the entire time we've been together and it seems like the chances of her smoking if I hadn't brought anything up are pretty low, but I still felt like it was a conversation worth having.
I don't want to be too domineering or tell her what to do. I feel weird about asking her not to do something, and she would also feel weird about that. But I also know that if she did smoke there would be some pretty real unhappiness between the two of us. Any advice for us on how to work through this issue? | I don't want my partner to smoke pot anymore but I don't want to tell her what to do. How do we avoid an issue here? |
t3_4n96p9 | relationships | My sisters won't get along and are wanting me to take sides | I (23/F) have 3 younger sisters who are all a lot younger than I am; I have 1 biological sister (17) and 2 stepsisters (16/14), but I consider all of them to be my sisters equally. I recently got married and moved out of state. Usually I'm the moderator in the family... whenever there is an argument between my family members, I'm there to resolve it. Since I'm so far away now, it seems that things have fallen apart, specifically between my sisters.
My biological sister, Nicole (17), is really self-conscious. She doesn't do well in school despite trying her best, and she struggles with her body image a lot (it doesn't help that our stepdad constantly tells her to lose weight either). My stepsisters Brit (16) and Ari (15) don't seem to talk to Nicole much. They do well in school (despite not studying very much) and don't get heckled for their weight. Their biological mother spoils them with new phones, expensive clothes, etc. Brit and Ari's biological mother is well off and already has cars for them to drive and will probably pay for their college tuition. My stepdad doesn't seem to enforce any rules on Brit and Ari either.
Everything escalated after I left. Nicole was supposed to start driving lessons to get her permit. Our stepdad told Nicole that she had to have a 3.5 GPA in order for him to take her out for driving practice. While Nicole was trying to get her GPA up, our stepdad took Brit out for driving practice instead. Nicole felt that our stepdad was being biased toward Brit. This caused a lot of tension and now Nicole has begun to hate Brit and Ari because Brit and Ari belittle her. I have tried talking to Brit and Ari as to why they don't talk to Nicole, and they say it's because "she's a killjoy" and "she's boring." Nicole has become bitter and refuses to talk with Brit and Ari.
Recently, my sisters all got into a huge argument and they're trying to pull me into the drama. I'm not sure what to do and it's getting harder and harder to remain neutral. How should I proceed? | My sisters are beginning to hate each other because my stepdad plays favorites and my stepsisters are spoiled. My biological sister is bitter and now they're making me take sides. |
t3_3miz7o | tifu | TIFU by trying to drunkenly intiate sex by telling my SO "but it's cock-toberfest!" | Pretty much the title line folks...
My alcohol tolerance has gone down since I've been working and working out like crazy. I used to be able to have two drinks and only be a little tipsy but half of a drink in and I was getting a little rowdy. My boyfriend has been working crazy hours and was a little tired for sex before we left. Being drunk makes me horny. I made the mistake of finishing my drink before we left, and I vaguely remember pawing at my poor SO incessantly before passing out. In the AM my SO asked me if I remembered last night and started cracking up, as apparently my drunk attempt to seduce/ intiate sex when we got home me was to pout naked in bed and demand sex "but it's "cocktoberfest" and I need to celebrate". I then fell asleep before he got back from the bathroom. | I am not a seductive woman. Also, after laughing at my expense, no damages were had other than my embarrassment, and there was excellent morning sex- yay!). |
t3_18u8oj | relationships | Should I [20F] Stop buying my boyfriend [20M] presents? | We've known each other for 4 years
Every event,(Valentines,Christmas,etc.) my boyfriend tells me what he wants, and in return, tells me that i'm going to like the present he's thinking of buying me.
That event comes around i give him his present, he's forgotten mine. I ask however many days later when he intends on buying me anything and i get "That even has passed." I can tell that the real reason is that he forgets, or he spends all of his money on absolutely useless things (A crossbow that he said he'd use for hunting, and hasn't.)
Mind you, i buy him quite alot, christmas, i bought him an $100 headset, gametime for an online game, xbox game, etc.
His, and my, birthdays are coming up soon (19 days apart)
What should i do? | Boyfriend expects things for events (Christmas, Valentines day) then doesn't buy me anything because he forgets, or spends the money on himself. |
t3_15ch8k | AskReddit | What was your worst break up? | My worst happened when I was 16 and thought I was in love. We had been seeing each other for about a year. We met up at a coffee shop like any other normal Saturday morning. After the usual conversation he proceeded to tell me (for the first time) that he wasn't happy. We were sitting outside and I remember bursting into tears. I was overcome with so many emotions, but more than the upset of being dumped I was so embarrassed that it was so public and people were looking at me, knowing what was happening.
For the months afterwards he told me that he still loved me and that I had broken his heart. He was a complete dick and I always wanted to tell him what a prick he was for breaking up with me in such a public manner. | 16, boyfriend of 1 year dumped me whilst sitting outside a coffee shop, I cried (a lot) in full view of passers by. |
t3_4bkns7 | relationships | Me [24M] with roommates, [20'sM] and bed-times | Hi all,
I moved into an apartment with a few other guys about six months ago. For the most part it is pretty great, the rent isn't too bad and all the residents are amicable (it's all college-aged guys). I have two really good friends whom I'll call Joseph and Daniel and the other residents are all nice guys.
The crux of the issue here is in deciding when "quiet hours" should go into effect. Often Joe, Daniel, and I will talk during the night and the best place to do this is in the apartment common area (no common areas in the complex). For the record the walls in the apartment are somewhat thin. Not the best I've had but not the worst, either. Somewhat less frequently (but obviously frequently enough for me to complain about), Vic will complain about the noise of us talking and tell us to "go to bed". The problem is that these complaints come at starting at 9:30pm.
I totally get the nature of his complaint (I don't want to be a loud douchebag) but I think it is applied at inappropriate times. Like, the apartment has a common area designated for social activity so it seems like there should be some hours in which you can expect occupation and noise in that room. I get he may want to go to bed early but I think his expectations of quiet hours are way too early. Going to bed early has the natural consequence of causing you to be asleep for normal hours of operation. Like if I took a nap at 5pm on a workday it would be weird for me to get mad if someone came to the apartment and opened the door, waking me up. What did I expect by sleeping during normal business hours?
Anyways, all of this has caused a rift in the house. I have suggested Vic get a noise generator or earmuffs or something but he thinks it's unfair he has to get those things when "your inconsideration is affecting me negatively disproportionately". Am I insane here in the quiet-hours thinking? What else can we do to help the situation? | Roommate gets upset at myself and others using the common areas past his bedtime. I think his proposed hours are too unreasonable and it's causing issues. Who's right? |
t3_w9bax | AskReddit | I am a waitress whose tips are being altered to avoid making up the difference on my paycheck. What should I do? | So I work at at Pizza Hut in Illinois. Minimum wage here is $8.25, so as a server I make $4.95. State law requires that if I make less than min. wage with my wage + tips, Pizza Hut has to reimburse me. Recently I've noticed they have changed the amount of tips I've claimed on the last day of each pay week that I've worked (for instance, 6/17/12 was changed from me claiming $5 to claiming $30+ dollars).
When I asked, my store manager told me that at the end of every pay period the computer alerts him if not enough tips have been claimed, so he just starts randomly adding tips to different servers and drivers until the number goes down, and then he keeps on adding until it stops alerting him. He says this happened to me because I had unclaimed credit tips. But our credit card tips are claimed automatically as the shift manager cashes them out on the register, and then the tips are handed to us as cash immediately afterward, so if I really do have unclaimed tickets than why am I not being handed the $30+ dollars that I have apparently claimed? I did the math and I saw that the amount of tips claimed on my paystub were almost exactly the amount I needed in order to have my server's wage plus tips equal my state's minimum wage (usually off by 10 cents to $1 over).
I feel like I'm being jipped out of part of my wages, especially since I'm lucky if I get 5 tables during most of my shifts (and usually I'm lucky to get a 10% tip), plus I'm doing tons of shit that is not really a server's job. I'm going to copy all my hours and tips per shift from the computer on my next shift, but I'm not really sure what to do with the information. I've already talked to my store manager, so what is the next step, short of quitting? | I'm a server who thinks that my claimed tips are being changed by my boss so that they don't have to add money to my check so I make minimum wage. What should I do? |
t3_2wvt9s | relationships | I (21M) have been consistently harassed by my roommate(22M) | Im not sure if this is the right place to discuss this, but im running out of options. At this point, im pretty sure what hes done counts as sexual harassment. Im hesitant to say that, but i don't think it could be anything else.
A few months ago, my roommate confessed that he was gay and that he had a crush on me. I told him that i was straight and that nothing would ever happen between us, but i accepted him as he was and wouldnt let it change our relationship. I thought this was a breakthrough, but it was really just the beginning.
Since then, hes been extremely passive aggressive about any time i get involved with a girl. Sometimes itd just be snide comments about her appearance or personality, but other times itd be more extreme.
There were two occasions when we were out at bars and he openly insulted girls i was hittting on in a strange attempt at territoriality.
I've recently become involved long term with a girl and he's been much worse. He constantly complains about the noise when she stays over, called her fat, called me desperate for meeting her online, claimed to be disgusted for "losing to her"(which was a red flag for me) and most recently said if he kills himself then its my fault( huge red flag).
Im supposed to talk to him about it tonight and i honestly have to idea what to say. | I dont know how to get my gay roommate to leave me alone. I want to help, but hes making it extremely difficult. |
t3_24t9sc | relationships | Me [22 F] and my girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years are having relationship troubles because I procrastinate | (this is OMGALily's girlfriend, my reddit is spazzing out so I'm posting on hers)
Hi everyone. New to Reddit and I'm typing this on mobile but here I go
Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years and we've had our ups and downs but we love each other and want a future together. I met my girlfriend online while I was going to school to become a veterinary assistant and I'm currently back home working to pay off my student loans so I can move back and get an apartment and a job that I actually want and went to school for. My girlfriend lives a 7 hour bus ride away from me so we only get to see each other every few months and its been like that for almost a year now and it sucks but its mostly my fault.
What happens is, we usually have date nights; nights where we do things together like watch movies, Skype, play games, bone, all that wonderful stuff. Those arent happening very often because I want them to be perfect. Lets say I get off work at 5, loads of time for me to get supper and watch a movie and make love to my wonderful girlfriend before one of us has to be in bed to get up for school in her case or work in mine, but in my head thats not enough time. For whatever reason no amount of time is enough and I keep putting off date nights until I think it'll be perfect but it never is so it ends up being days without sex, weeks without Skype or movies and its not fair to her at all. I know shes getting frustrated with me and that only makes me want our time together more perfect which makes me dig my hole further down. The best thing to walk into my life deserves perfection but its my idea of perfection thats killing this relationship.
I need help and I dont know where to turn. I have no friends and my family isnt a big fan of me dating another girl in the first place so I'm totally lost. Any advice would be helpful | I'm ruining my relationship because I'm a procrastinating perfectionist and I need help badly for both our sakes |
t3_1swpmv | relationship_advice | [23m] my wife [21/f] and our relationship.. I need constructive input.. | Hey, So I have been thinking about writing to reddit... Probably about 4-6 months? Err, I thought I could figure out how to handle the situation but I am starting to think in circles. So help me out!
This could go on forever, But I will try and make this short and sweet.
Lets get right to it.
Been with my SO for 4-5 years now? We are a great couple (imo), We have a great friendship, Two kids both I have an amazing start to my career in IT no really stress from fiances. Nothing of that sort... but..
I feel different about her... It's like I have fallen out of love.. more so bored, Although I am not sure, being this my first and only relationship.
It pains me to think of not being with her, yes we had around a year where we broke up.. and well, you know how you day dream at work? Well I used to day dream about having her so I have a feeling those are real feelings and not just anxiety about being alone although I fully admit that I could be wrong.
I want the spark back, The new relationship type spark where you can't wait to see each other, But we have become complacent, Honestly both of us. Everything is so routine and when we try and do something different, Things just don't work out for some odd reason. (My fault or hers)
Its the same thing all the time, Our sex life is very good, I am not bored of her in that manner.. Although more oral would be nice.. But I have boiled that down to one of those things men can't get enough of.
I mean, I work.. Come home she is there, eat supper get the kids to sleep and well.. same old same old.
I want the excitement back I need your help, Your knowledge redditors.
Help a young guy out. | I may be mistaking my sense of boredom with our relationship for falling out of love with my SO, I want the new relationship spark back. Help? |
t3_2tt3t8 | relationships | Me [18 F] and my Best Friend [18 F] have a really complicated thing going on. | I'm coming to reddit out of desperation. My best friend and I have been friends with benefits for a few months now. Before this time, we were both heterosexual girls who were less than experienced. I'm not sure if what I feel for her is love, as I love what we do together, in addition to kissing her, holding her, etc. But in the back of my head, I'm afraid this is all just happening because neither of us really attract the attention of the typical guys were around. I don't know if this is the real deal. I just don't know in general. Any advice, similar experiences would be appreciated. | I'm afraid I only have feelings for my same sex best friend because loneliness and the fact that I've never had anything close to a boyfriend. |
t3_rks5x | Parenting | SAHD - Wife having a hard time with it | SAHD of 14 week old here. I'm loving every second of it, and it's even better than I imagined. However, my wife is having a real hard time with the adjustment. There's a couple issues at work:
1) She doesn't see the baby nearly as much as she would like to. She leaves for work at about 7, and gets home at about 4, so she sees the baby only about 4 hours a day during the week. And he's usually asleep for an hour or 2 of that time.
2) She's jealous of me, and the things I get to do with him. (She's told me as much)
3) She feels like she "isn't taking care of us (or the house)." When she comes homes, I make sure everything is done, so she doesn't have to worry about it and can spend time with our son. So when she walks in the door, the laundry's done, house is clean, dinner's in the works, etc. We're pretty progressive and not into gender roles, but this is one of her idiosyncrasies, she feels better when she cooks for me or does the laundry. I'm not sure what to do here, as I don't want to leave stuff for her I could easily do, especially when she gets so little time with him.
The decision for me to stay home was mutually agreed upon, but also partly circumstance. We both made about the same amount of money (she made a couple thousand more). However, she loves her job, and I hated mine (I was already looking for a new one before I decided to stay home). Most importantly, she carries the benefits. She's a member of a union, so family HC is like $100 a month, where it was $1000/month through my job, with less coverage. After our son was born, we couldn't find a day care we really liked, and really looked at the cost of day care, and decided if i could bring in some PT money, we would be in the same spot. So I left my job, work PT a few hours a week, and it was settled. Or so I thought.
Things at home have been really tense and emotional lately. | How can I help my wife be ok with our decision for me to stay home? What can I do to help her with this transition? |
t3_zur4b | dogs | Will my 11 y.o Malamute make it? | Bear with me, this is sort of a complicated story.
Basically, I came home yesterday to find out that my mom had just arrived home before me to find out that my new neighbors had been caring for my dog and couldn't contact us.
Shadow, an 11 year old heavier-set Malamute, had wandered(he's normally good about staying in the yard, and we're in a very secluded area) into their backyard and fell in their pond. They think he was struggling to get out for a few hours when they found him. They got him out, and brought him to us when we arrived home.
He has been eating A LOT, we've been feeding him rice, chicken, beef, you name it, and he's been eating it. He has also been drinking a lot. We've been checking on him every half hour and making sure that he drinks enough water, because we think he might be dehydrated. We haven't tried washing him because we don't want to shock him. We've left him outside so that he can go to the bathroom, but we've kept him on blankets.
He looks thin in the bones, like his muscles are weak. He gets up to go to the bathroom, and he'll hold his head up and look around with his ears perked, but he has been sleeping and not moving around much since he's been back.
He's eating and drinking fine, but it's really worrying me that he still won't get up, and that his breathing has been a little raspy.
What could be wrong with him? Will he pull through? We plan to bring him to the vet tomorrow, but I'm sure the only thing they would tell us is to put him down if he isn't improving...which if that needs to be done, will be done, but I'd just like to get a little advice tonight.
Thanks for reading. | 11 y.o dog falls in pond for hours yesterday morning, still heavy breathing and won't move but eats and drinks a lot. Is he okay? |
t3_13rnzq | relationships | My [23m] girlfriend [22f] is going to a bachelorette party. | Dating for 3 years. We would both not approve of the other going to a strip club, and we are both completely satisfied with such limitations. But now that one of her friends is getting married, I'm supposed to automatically be ok with the wild bachelorette party she will be going to? How is that fair to me? I trust her, but in the presence of alcohol and peer pressure, mistakes can be made. I know she wouldn't like me getting a lapdance. But again, I'm supposed to be just dandy with her possibly getting one because it's a wedding? How do I approach this?
I didn't post this to be scolded on my standards of monogamy. So please don't tell me to lighten up my views. Like I said, we both have similar expectations of the other. | I don't like that fact that a bachelorette party is taking my relationship out of my comfort zone, and I have to just accept it "because wedding". |
t3_f5gqf | AskReddit | If all the bills I have received say I owe 0.00 are they legally allowed to force me to pay a lump sum? | So here's the deal. I recently moved in with 3 other people into a pretty shitty duplex. It's all our first time living out of parent's house and out of university residence. Of course, as university students, we needed internet. Being in central Canada, there was only two actual choices being MTS (provincial phone company) and Shaw Cable. We went with MTS because we had noticed our house had already been wired up with MTS cables.
Anyway, so we go to get it all set up, I'm the primary name on the account even though we are all going to split the costs, we get a guy coming to set up the router and all that jazz. We didn't really pay much attention to what the girl was saying in the form of what we were getting, mostly because she was an idiot and spent the majority of the time texting while serving us. Our basic understanding, though, was there would be an extra fee for the router and set up, and the first three months were a reduced price and after that it would go to the regular price.
The guy comes sets up the router, gives us information, and promptly fucks off leaving us with an invoice that says Amount Due 0.00. We are mildly confused, but assume that it'll be on the bill.
So three bills have come since then, and all of them say 0.00. We still have internet. I can't access their online system because apparently the account number listed on my invoices is two digits too long. The support numbers leave me on hold for 2+ hours.
My question is, once I get a hold of someone who works for this crackpot company, and if it turns out to be a clerical error, are they legally within their right to demand the amount we owe for the past months plus interest? | My internet provider has only sent my invoices that say I owe nothing, and I can't get in touch with them. Can they sue my ass for a shit ton of money? |
t3_1qvroo | relationships | BF(29) + self(25) + son split up for christmas due to BF's family, please advise? | I feel like this issue is pretty ridiculous, and I should just suck it up and move on. But I wanted some other opinions, please.
My boyfriend(29) and I(female, 25) have a son(4) and have been dating 6 yrs. So, the boyfriend(BF) asked me if it was okay for our son to stay at his parents' place for christmas. Actually, they're flying across the country, the 3 of them(son + BF's GP), to visit other family. I didn't want this to happen, but I also didn't want a fight.
This isn't a rarity, either. His parents are always getting OUR son for special events and things; their excuse is that I work so much, should I really be monopolizing all my son's time when they(BF's GP) could spend all day with him? For example, thanksgiving, easter, etc. I really don't work all the time, but since I work retail(I'm still going to school, yeah, I took a break and started over, don't judge me), I have to be there for most holidays.
Anyway, my BF says his parents need him to stay over at their house to dog sit for the week or two they're out of town. When I suggest kenneling, he says it's too expensive, despite his parents making plenty enough to afford it(I know his father makes >60k, mother 40k at least). So now not only do I not have my son for christmas, I don't have my bf either. I'll just be alone for 1-2 weeks during the holidays. Is it selfish of me to want my immediate family with me for christmas? Should I let it go? And I'm also kind of hurt that my BF doesn't even care about this. He doesn't care that his son will be thousands of miles away or that we'll be apart.
I feel like maybe it would be nice to have some alone time, but not during the holidays. That just sucks. Our son could go visit family anytime, right? | Our son is visiting my bf's family for christmas; bf is dog-sitting for his parents. Should I upset that my family is split up for chrimtas? |
t3_331jsn | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ex-gf [21 F] , 8months, ex wants to me to go to concert with her | My gf and I just recently broke up last night. It was a mutual breakup as we had just been arguing and fighting a lot recently. The fights we had were always regarding similar topics and even though we reconciled after we would eventually fall back into old habits. Our last fight was an eye opener for me and made me realize I still have things to work on and that I need to do that on my own.
We both confessed that we want to still be with each other and that we still have feelings for one another. However, I explained that right now there are still things that we both need to work on and that it would probably better if we did that on our own and breakup.
So to the question, my ex had bought us tickets a couple months ago for a concert next week. She texted me recently and said that she still wants me to come if I want to. I'm not sure what I want to do as we just broke up and I don't think i'm fully ready right now to handle the feelings I still have for her. But at the same time I still do want to go with her cuz I do enjoy doing things with her.
What are your thoughts and perspectives? Thank you for all the advice :) | broke up with gf last night. Mutual breakup but we still have feelings for each other. Ex bought tickets a couple months ago to concert next week and asked if I still want to go. Not sure if I should or not |
t3_1yrsut | relationships | How to make new friends in a new university in totally new environment where you don't know a single person? | I'm a M/21 am pretty confident, friendly, and have no anxiety approaching people. Would appreciate some pointers/ example topics that I could use to approach a group of people so I can maintain a conversation with several interesting subtopics, and they would be comfortable welcoming me in their group and new friendships can be forged. | I'm in a new uni in a new area where I don't know anyone. How would I initiate and maintain conversations with groups who already know each other so that I can make new friends |
t3_54nrpr | relationships | My mom (52/f) told me (22/f) she would give me money she had saved up for me as a graduation gift | I would like some advice.
During the beginning of my Undergrad (5 years ago), my mom told me she saved up some money for me so that when I graduate I could use the money to either travel or find my first apartment. She told me it would be something nice to have after I graduate. It's $5000 dollars. I paid all 4 years of my undergrad by myself and had to work all my way through school. I come from a low-income family. Anyways, I graduated a few months ago and I asked her if I could use the money now but she's been really hesitant about it. I asked her 3 months ago about it. She says that she's going to give me the money but she makes weird faces at me sometimes when I bring it up. She gets annoyed too sometimes. I've brought it up with her at least 4 times. I've never asked my parents for money but I remember her telling me she had this money saved up for me, so I've asked her if I could use the money now because I want to travel for a bit.
Is it wrong of me to ask for this money? Am I being selfish by asking? What should I do? Should I just use some of my savings and go travel? | Mother is being hesitant about giving me saved up money. It's been sitting in the bank for a few years. She gets annoyed sometimes when I bring it up. |
t3_35zgeu | relationships | My[23F] friend[27F] is unhappy in her relationship [30F], they were long time friends but have only been dating a month. She thinks it's her own fault. | It's not too complicated of a situation, I'm just running out of advice to give. They were friends for years, decided they wanted to try out dating, but my friend feels like she rushed into it and wasn't ready. She expressed this to her GF but it ended up creating tension between them.
She says her GF is great. She's stable, she's very nice. Her problem is that she feels bored. It seems like it may have been different as friends. Maybe now that they are spending more alone time together it's not as exciting as when they'd go out as friends?
They have a kind of long distance relationship, 6 hours away. She says when she goes there she feels bored and anxious and she doesn't know how to get over it. She has told her GF multiple times that she wasn't ready for the relationship, that she wanted to keep dating, but her GF upped the pressure and it was like a, if you don't make this official we can't be together, sort of thing. My friend asked for space but that was met with more tension.
She doesn't want to just break up because she's worried she''s just panicking because it's a new relationship and she could just get over it eventually. (She might be, I don't know.)
I'm pretty young. I'm not ignorant to relationship problems as I've had two serious relationships, one for 5 years and one for 2 years. But I never had a problem with boredom.
I told her she shouldn't have begun dating her and that if this is how she feels she might need to reconsider her decision before the relationship gets more serious. Is that sound advice? Me and another of our friends have said to her we feel bad for both of them. We feel bad our friend is saying these things about not wanting to be with her GF, but we also feel bad for our friend that any communication is met with tension.
What's more solid advise to give that doesn't come off in a "I'm telling you what to do" way? | Friend is looking for advise on something I don't really know much about. Running out of ways to say, you should probably break up with her, without actually saying "You should probably break up with her". |
t3_3lueh5 | relationships | Afraid of commintment... | I (23M) have been seeing this particular person (25F) "casually for about 4 years now. By casual I mean sex fairly consistently for that time and me deflecting any talk of an actual relationship. Lately she has told me that she loves me and keeps bringing up marriage and kids and it all seems so scary. My parents have been separated all my life and I spent my entire childhood trying to keep the peace and make them both happy. As a result I have a few issues I deal with. I fear commitment, I have a hard time showing affection in public places, and I struggle with serious conversations. This girl treats me like a queen but I'm just not feeling it. I'm afraid that if I pass on it than I won't find someone like her again, but I don't want to get into something I'm not ready for. Help? | seeing a girl for 4 years, she's ready for more and I'm not. I'm not sure how to cope with commitment issues. |
t3_1upgrt | personalfinance | 22/f trying to figure out what money to put where | Hi! New to this sub (on an anon acct because my normal acct is linked to some stuff posted here for work) and am looking for a bit of advice coming from somebody who knows little to nothing about finance.
++ Goals for the year are to save more, and learn to save better, setting up a good system for what needs to go where each paycheck. Also considering going to grad school within the next 2 or so years, so will need to save for that, as well.
I'm moderately OK at saving, but I'm not sure if what I'm doing is the best. Right now income is around $42,000, but after taxes/benefits/pre-tax deductions for parking, my take home is just over $1,100 biweekly.
Current setup:
- Checking A: $340
(DD gets dumped here, transfer $290 to Checking B for car payment and insurance (to parents)
- Checking B: $8, yeah. I'm cool.
(Old account I have open because I have a CC there).
- Savings A, Ally Money Market savings: $9,400
- Savings B, Ally OSA: $2,380
- CC1: Wells Fargo, from when I was in college
$800 limit, opened for 3 yrs, rarely use
- CC2: CapOne cashback
$25,000, don't even know how that happened
- CC3: $5,000 Chase Sapphire
use for most regular purchases, pay off at end of month
Monthly set payments: $1030 for rent and utilities
(SO will start contributing more soon, but he just started a new job and is paying down debts from school/life).
Car: $290 for payment and insurance, 2006 Scion XA, still have quite a bit to pay but have very low interest.
No debt. Pay off CC's in full each month. | Want to save more, don't know where to put money, need a set budget/schedule of when to put what into which savings. HALP. |
t3_oyq6q | AskReddit | Lawyers of Reddit: We've been subpoenaed for calling 911... what are our options? | My girlfriend and I saw/heard a couple across the street fighting and then witnessed the man run into the house, begin assaulting the woman, and slam the door. Knowing there was at least one small child over there, we called 911. The cops came and took our info and statements but said they would contact if they needed anything. Fast forward a few weeks and we get summoned to testify against him in court.
We only called 911 because we feared for the safety of the kid(s). Only later did we find out the guy is a rumored drug dealer on probation. We really don't want to shit where we eat and we certainly don't want to fuck with drug dealers. Still, we don't want someone like this living across the street from us so we'd like to help put him away if we can. The letters we got say that if we don't show up, we can be "punished," but is this really true? Do we have the right to refuse to testify or to state our demands, for example that we do not want him to see who we are? | Called 911 for domestic violence with children involved, now being subpoenaed to testify in court but don't want to put ourselves in danger. Do we HAVE to testify or can we do it anonymously? |
t3_3c5ohc | relationships | I [M 25] love my GF [F 23] of 3 years. But I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship anymore. | Things aren't what they used to be. At first everything was great. We had sex all the time, she had a great body, we had fun, and being around her was something I always looked forward to.
We have sex very rarely now, within the past 12 months we've had Intercourse 4 times. With her reasoning being that intercourse hurts. We've used lube, foreplay, etc. Nothing helps. She used to go down on me once or twice every other week, but she's stopped doing that aswell. She says she has no libido and swats away any and all advances that I've pretty much given up.
But that's fine, because she's gained 20lbs that went straight to her thighs and ass because she eats pizza and Ice Cream all day every day. Honestly I don't find her body attractive anymore. The irony is that she broke up with me a year ago saying that I had gotten "too fat". But I quickly shed that weight and we had gotten back together. Now we're in the opposite boat and she still rips on me for having love handles when she has cottage cheese legs/ass. Totally hypocritical and annoying.
Now here's the other thing, she's emotionally all over the place. One minute she's fine, then next she's the biggest Debbie Downer you could be around. It's always the same thing, she hates her job, she hates her living situation, she hates her life, etc. And I REALLY try to be the supportive boyfriend by being positive and encouraging her. But it's a broken record with her, and it's always about *her*. She doesn't care about my feelings or how I'm affected by her pessimistic attitude or lack of a sex drive.
But the thing is, I still have an emotional attachment to her. I do still have feelings for her, and I would never cheat on her. | I'm a young, good looking man in my prime. I'm in a virtually sexless relationship with a Debbie Downer that can be extremely annoying. |
t3_3estcj | relationship_advice | My New Boyfriend [20/M] Is Still Involved with His Clingy Ex | I [22/F] recently started dating this really amazing guy. I'll call him "A." We live about 3 hours apart and visit once or twice a month.
The problem is his clingy ex-girlfriend - "H."
"A" hates making people sad and "H" exploits this tendency. For example, shortly after "A" and I started dating, "H" texted him. She has anxiety problems and has panic attacks if she's forced to stay in a house alone. Her parents (whom she lives with) were going out of town on a ten day vacation. She begged "A" to stay with her while they were gone. When "A" said no, she called him and started sobbing into the phone. "A" ended up agreeing to do it. All this happened while we were on one of our rare dates together.
During this ten day period, "H" crawled into his bed multiple times, even after "A" told her "no." She also tried to give him an expensive promise ring. When he refused, she flipped out. I mean, really flipped out - screaming, throwing things, slamming doors, cold shouldering him. Despite all this, "A" still stayed in the house until her parents returned. He didn't want her to have a panic attack if he left.
"H" is still really involved in "A's" life. She's a part of his church community and friend circle, which he really values. "A" is also close friends with "H's" parents. I can't ask him to cut "H" out of his life. At the same time, I feel like "H" has been totally unreasonable and clingy. She recently announced that she's moving out on her own and I'm afraid she's going to try to manipulate "A" into living with her.
I want to get more serious with "A", but I don't want to get involved while "H" is in the picture. It's also difficult to compete with "H" since I live far away.
Any advice, Reddit? | My new boyfriend has a clingy ex who emotionally manipulates him. They're really involved in each others' communities, so I can't ask him to cut her off. But I'm afraid she's going to keep manipulating him. |
t3_snyx8 | AskReddit | What do I do about a dangerous dog (and owner) in my street that has almost killed my dog twice? | Background: Victoria, Australia
About two months ago I was sitting in my loungeroom watching some TV when I hear a pretty sickening yelping from outside. I dart outside to find a neighbors dog (pit bull) holding my dog (whippet) by the throat, doing a pretty good job of messing her up and coming really close to killing her. My backyard isn't completely fenced off, but our dog's don't venture out to the front yard and more than half of the property is walled from the house to the fence, if you follow.
I convinced the owner of the house the dog came from to pay for the bill, but his son (who owns the dog) is a dropkick to put it kindly, and has a violent and colorful history with the police for stabbings, robberies etc.
Fast forward to yesterday, and I'm walking my dogs down the street. The same dog charges out of their property and latches onto one of my dogs, only releasing it when I belt it repeatedly with a stick. The owner of the house runs out and pulls his dog inside, and is nothing but apologetic, but his son runs out and throws me to the ground, launching all kinds of threats and verbal abuse. He basically tells me that if I report his dog or get him into any kind of legal trouble - he's going to 'pin your f##king dog's to the shed wall and burn down your house'.
I've put the vet bill in his letterbox, dolled it up to look like a regular letter and addressed it to the house owner. I don't doubt he will avoid the fees, it's a hefty fine to have a dangerous dog and I made sure to let him know.
The question is, what else can I or should I do about this dog? I want the mongrel put down, but I don't want to endanger my pets or family / home. | Dog has attacked my dogs twice, in my yard and in the street, owner has a history of violence and crime and has threatened repercussions if I report him or his dog. |
t3_180uc8 | AskReddit | since techsupport isn't much help, I have 2 problems on my mac, skype, and saving document/pictures/presentations | on my sisters old mac, a couple years old, skype: I keep getting an error saying "unable to mount database" and google searching it doesn't help very much. The other thing is that when I try to save pictures/documents/presentations, it won't let me, I can't open a folder directly from finder, when I tried to save a picture, i didn't have room, deleted a bunch of my sisters old photos from photo-booth and tried again, still didn't work. When i open up word I get the message "you are working without a word work file and memory is nearly full. Save your work." I hit ok which is followed by "word cannot open existing global template (normal)" and form word I cannot open a new file (hitting file and open is grey and unclickable) or open up recent document (also under file) I ALSO KEEP GETTING STARTUP DISK IS NEARLY FULL ALERTS AND IT'S GETTING ANNOYING | Skype: unable to mount database, can't log on. Can't open word document from within word or finder, everything except Safari and other useless apps seem to be breaking |
t3_laout | AskReddit | Reddit, I need your evil genius! | If you will, sit back and let me spin you a short yarn.
Just over two weeks ago I decided my brief dabble with Android (specifically the Galaxy SII) was over, so I looked into selling it and buying an iPhone 4. Later that day I found someone willing to swap (or trade as I believe you Americans call it), so we went ahead and did the deal. He told me he had spoken with his carrier (three) to get the phone unlocked and it would take up to 14 days: cool, I'd looked into that and most internet folk said it normally only takes a day or two. We parted ways and I put the phone on the side, patiently awaiting a text from him telling me the deed was done. Yes, I'm an idiot.
Fast forward to yesterday, over 14 days later, and the phone still wasn't unlocked. I'd already sent a lot of text messages and tried calling over the previous two days with no answer: this guy was definitely being a douche. I got a bit pissed, so I hit google. Combining that with a touch of social engineering and I now have a full name, two email address, facebook, twitter, g+ (shocking I know), suspected girlfriend and suspected place of work.
So, reddit, my question to you is: what (preferably clever / funny / elegant) method can I use get this guy to make a very simple, very quick phone call to three to get this expensive paper weight of mine working as a phone? | I swapped phones with a guy, I now need him to make one phone call to his mobile network to get my phone unlocked. I have personal details. The more evil genius the better. |
t3_29tyz7 | relationships | Me [28F] met him [31M] online, says he is not ready for a relationship but I can see that he is still online | I met a pretty nice guy online two months ago. We got along great and have seen each other about once a week. But about a month ago he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. He had recently broken up (beginning of this year) with his girlfriend of one year and he thought dating online would help him get over her but it hasn't. He said he really liked me but that he couldn't commit to anything and wasn't in the right state of mind for a new relationship.
I told him I was in no rush to dive into a full relationship but that I didn't want to be a fling. I said I was ok with hanging out with him but that I would not do anything physical beyond making out.
We agreed and have been seeing other regulary.
But when I log onto the website I met him on (POF) I see that he is online a lot. I don't understand why he would still be online if he clearly does not want a relationship now and is wondering if maybe he trying to find someone better.
Should I confront him about this? | Met a great guy online, he said he wasn't ready for a relationship but we could hang out, but I see that he is still active online. |
t3_1ocztn | legaladvice | Question about eviction and rent | My parents evicted some tenants because they were caught producing marijuana. The cops came, busted the whole operation, and now the house is pretty much messed up since there's crap everywhere, broken doors, etc.
Anyways, the tenants' last day to get their stuff is this Monday. They already paid for this month's rent, but one of the tenant's family members that wasn't on the contract is asking for a partial sum of the rent that they paid for. I could've swore I've seen it somewhere on a legal website that if a person is evicted due to doing something unlawful the landlord doesn't have to give them any rent money. Is that true? And if it makes any difference, this is in California. Oh yeah, if there's a website that has tips, details, anything related to this type of situation, and describes both the tenants and landlords rights, please provide the link(s). Thanks so much, guys! | Tenants caught with hella weed, cops busted them, tenants get evicted, family members of tenants want rent money that isn't being used and was paid for for this month. |
t3_2b4wy3 | relationships | Is it him or is it just me being completely insecure? | My bf (27m) and I (22f) have been together for about 6 months. I feel like we're great together. I just hate that we have a long distance relationship although I do regularly drive the 3 hours to spend time with him. So the problem is that I'm really insecure and I have problems with jealousy and trusting people just from past experiences. He is forever texting this girl (whom I've met and knows about me) but when we're apart it takes forever for him to text back and he just makes it seem like a chore. He doesn't even call me love or babe or anything. When I say I love him, it just kind of seems like whatever to him. In our short months together, he did break my trust once. He was messaging some girl and asked for nudes. When I found out he stopped talking to her and promised to never do it again. He keeps his phone locked though and I'm scared to bring it up in fear I might really piss him off and think I'm that insecure with him. I also feel like he isn't completely over his ex. He was with his ex for 4 years and have been broken up for a year almost 2. I can see how angry he still is about it. I'm not sure if I should say anything or if the problem is just me.. I really love him and I wanna make it work but with these feelings idk how it will.. | I'm completely insecure and my boyfriend doesn't make me feel any better about it. I don't know what to do anymore :/ |
t3_3c256j | relationships | I [23F] went on my boyfriend's [24M] phone to set an alarm and saw some questionable texts from a mutual friend [24F] and his father [60M] | Right my phone was dead so I went on my boyfriend's phone to set an alarm and it went straight on his messages.
The first thing that came up was a conversation with his father. I went to click off it until I saw him saying he was crashing at my place while looking for a flat. (We have lived together since Christmas).
This worried me as I thought they were aware we lived together? Or does this mean he's wanting to move out?
Secondly I clicked off the message and his recent messages came up and then I noticed a name that surprised me being there. His ex roommate had texted him recently despite me expressing worry about 5 hours earlier that I hadn't heard from her since her uni results and he said he heard nothing either.
So I snooped I know not great but after the dad thing my paranoia was at a high. I read the conversation and found out she failed her final year and she went on to vent. He ended it with "don't worry you're never a burden to me and I won't tell anyone not even [my name]."
Literally I had raised concern that I hadn't heard from her and I think what upsets me is he lied to my face about not speaking to her recently despite knowing I was worried.
Am I overreacting about any of these events? | My boyfriend lied about speaking to our friend who's been ignoring me and apparently is "crashing at my place". I need to know if I'm overreacting? |
t3_51xn0b | relationships | My [25F] sister in law's[35F] fiance [36M] continuously treats me like crap and now he's threatened my family. | My husband's older sister got engaged recently. Her fiance and I got along fine at first, but the longer they've been together, the worse it's gotten. A bunch of us are part of a group chat for our fantasy baseball league and Fiance regularly picks fights with me and brother, hurling insults at us mostly unprovoked. Its a baseball chat so naturally there's gonna be some shit talk but Fiance always takes it way too far and turns it personal. My husband's dad has spoken to him about his behavior and it hasn't gotten better.
So today it all came to a head when Fiance picks another fight. He picked another fight in the baseball chat and went completely off the rails and my brother stepped in to defend me and he turned on my brother and ultimately threatened to beat the shit out of my brother in front of his wife and kids. He also insulted my 7 month old son. Who insults a baby ??
I'm at a loss here. I don't know what to do about this. My sister in law refuses to see that her fiance has issues and refuses to defend her family. I'm not even sure what I'm asking about here. | my SIL's fiance took a baseball shit talk group way too far and insulted and threatened my family and I don't know what to do. |
t3_gis72 | AskReddit | Where should I go this summer? | There are some limitations here, the big two being financial and that I'm traveling alone.
The deal is I'm 27 and I have no friends where I am because I moved here for a PhD program two years ago and have been buried under work ever since. This summer, I need to get the fuck out for a bit. I'm from a big city but will be spending minimal time there this year because my ex is friends with all my friends there, and seeing her wouldn't be good.
I have barely traveled before. When all's said and done I'll have about 8K to last me through the summer (that includes living and traveling; I pay $725 in rent). Where in should the U.S. should I go by myself, for either a weekend or a couple weeks? I'm thinking of doing 2 or 3 mini trips rather than one long trip. I do not have a car.
Thanks all. | single 27 yr old guy on a grad student budget. Need to travel in the US, preferably to where I can think a lot, drink a lot, possibly get laid. |
t3_1wken3 | AskReddit | Aside from the gift exchange, randoms acts of pizza, and petty, sarcastic arguments over Reddit, what has been your most memorable interaction with another Reddit user? | I remember posting on r/nyc back in 2011, asking for someone to volunteer for a charity event. Little did I know how offensive it was to ask for a volunteer photographer. Nevertheless, I found out the hard way.
This one particular redditor (who happened to be a professional photographer) made it clear that you just don't *ask* someone to take photographs for free. Looking back, I should've just let it slide, but I was in my 8th month of Americorps--feeling tired, hungry, and overworked, I launched right into a heated argument.
We went back and forth--in typical online fighting fashion--but it came to a head when I told him, "listen. i get it. you're a scrooge, but i'm pretty sure there are other people who would like to volunteer for my cause." his next comment said something like, "i'm not a scrooge. check your inbox."
five minutes later i got a call from my co-worker saying we randomly received a $50 donation. the name of the donor matched the reddit handle.
it completely made my week.
i'm eager to hear some of your stories! | Got into a fight over at r/nyc. Resulted in a $50 donation to my former non-profit. |
t3_3hc2eh | relationship_advice | [27/M] had a couple of "intense" nights with a girl [29/F] and I'm not sure how to proceed talking to her. | I'll try my best not to bog you guys down with details, but I feel some background maybe relevant.
Backgroud:
Almost 3 weeks back I met this girl, through a mutual friend, and she was awesome. Cute, funny, and adorably dorky. She was my type. We clicked that first night. We talked a lot and made out, nothing too crazy, but we really clicked. I was going to a "fancy" wine party and I wanted to bring a date (This is one of those parties where I'd be one of the youngest people there). I asked her to come since we got along so well. She came to the party and we had a great night. She stayed the night we messed around a bit, but the best was that we talked until 4 or 5 in the morning. I mean we told each other things you wouldn't tell someone you just met.
Fast forward to about a week. We've texted/snap chatted back and fourth. I asked her out again. To paraphrase what she said, "Yes, but lets not call it a date because I think we moved too fast." I agree we did, but I still liked this girl and just wanted to hang out. I took her to sushi and this dive bar that I love (side note: dive bars are a great date spot). She leaves that night, but not after holding me like she did want to leave and some making out.
She was out of town for a while so another week goes by (less talking, but still talking) and I ask her out again. She said (again paraphrasing) no I want to hang with my family. I told her no worries (minus how dissappointed I actual was). I didn't talk to her for that entire week, and weekend (out of town at a wedding).
NOW: I texted her again today at lunch to see how the wedding went and I haven't heard back yet, though she sometimes goes hours without texting.
I guess I'm just looking for perspective or maybe someone telling me to stay calm. I'm not sure! | Had, what seemed, like a few great nights with a girl, but I'm afraid I'm reading the signals wrong. |
t3_f7qnw | AskReddit | Anyone know how to get rid of a boner? | I was at a party yesterday, but i wore sweat pants since i was at an outside music event. I get there, lots of people, around 20.
Everything goes well, some grey goose shots with friends in my class, and there's this girl(in my class too, lets call her X) that i notice noticing me.
I sit beside her, start chating and put my arm around her. We stay like that for roughly 10min and we decide (well... she) to sit on the floor. She one of her leg on mine and get closer. At this moment i began to have a boner. Tryed hiding it by bending my legs but then everyone wanted to go upstairs.
She look at me smiling and go too. Im the lasr one and hide the bump( it was really noticeable when i was standing up) with a bag of chips. A large one to be sure.
X calls me to come upstairs but i tell her im looking for my IPod. Took like 1min for johnny to go down and i feel better.
Upstairs theres 6 people left ( it was 3 AM) so we go in a bed room, we just sit and talk. I sit next to X, put my arm around her and like before she put one of her leg on mine. But this time she hold my hand(the one around her) and start moving it slowly over her body while talking. I continue talking but johnny start going up again so i bend my legs and hide it. My friend, who was on the bed, make some sign telling me to go downstair, since there was nobody there.
The problem is we are on the opposite side off the door so standing up would have shown my boner to everyone. I tryed to stop thinking about it but it keep staying up. We just stayed like that for 30 minute talking, because they had to go home.
How could i have hidden it? I probably missed a chance of taping because of that. | had a boner because a girl started flirting with me but i had sweat pant so could not stand up because there were 4 other people with us . We just stayed on the floor waiting for her parent to come get her. |
t3_3opi1m | relationships | Should I [22 M] break up with my first girlfriend [22 F] who has been with me for 3 years for the reason of a man should explore more about the world and been with more women? | I have been hearing a lot lately about how men should explore the world and get with women from youtube videos from RSDBrad...Those videos seem very persuasive. However, I have been with my girlfriend (first, and we gave each other the first time)for almost 3 years and we felt we are perfect for each other. We love each other so much and we have lovely memories and ... I got her pregnant once... I think she is (at least for now) the perfect girl I can marry with but seems like I met her way too early and a lots of my friends have been telling me I should stop hanging out with her that much and reach out to more girls, for the reason that she does not look that great, although I think she looks okay.. probably because I got so used to it.
Anyways, I mean... I am confused and sad to ask this, but I would love to hear from you wise people. For now I really dont feel like break up at all, and even if I do, I dont want to be the one who is breaking up with her. Although I think maybe I should but should I break up with the one I truly loved just because I can be a better man? I feel like this move made me very irresponsible and selfish.
Seriously. Any advice? | Should I break up with my first girlfriend (we are both 22 year-old) who has been with me for 3 years for the reason of a man should explore more about the world and been with more women? |
t3_paojg | BreakUps | She said "You are the Ted to my Robin" | Hi All. Me (26m) Her (23f) Relationship 5 months.
I was a dating a girl and she broke up with me 2 months ago because she was insecure because I never asked her to be my gf even though through my actions I was completely exclusive. She wanted to feel special and important to me, but I didn't verbally confirm that feeling. I regret this now but am moving on because overall I didn't feel she was a great fit.
In the meantime, she has found a new bf. She and I have occasionally have tried to hang out. During the most recent times we have hung out she has always had some jab about something I didn't do when we dated, for example "you didn't take me to do this" or "You never asked me to be your bf." The other day she 'accidentally' texted me instead of her bf to "come over and do things to her." This led to an awkward text conversation that I ended by saying 'someday we will laugh about this.' She then replied "you are the Ted to my Robin." Now, I don't watch enough HIMYM to understand what she means, but was wondering other peoples opinions. | She described our relationship as "You are the Ted to my Robin" I don't watch HIMYM. Any thoughts on what she is thinking? |
t3_1butll | relationships | 18[F] friend was abused, mentally and physically, by 20[M] ex boyfriend and wants to go back. | I have a friend who I care about very much who doesn't believe me, so I convinced her to let me ask this of reddit. Please read and respond. The more responses I get the, the better the chance she will listen.
For several years, about 4 years, she was dating this boy, who I will refuse to call a man, in a pretty extreme bdsm type relationship. I don't mind that, but it's context related.
Things got out of control as he would start calling her worthless or ugly or make fun of her looks or who she was outside the bedroom. He didn't stop when he was hurting her, he didn't care how he was breaking her beliefs in herself. He probably liked the fact he was making this incredible, smart, beautiful girl feel she was worthless.
She's an accomplished runner, she is a blackbelt in a martial art, she is doing well in school, she modeled (which she can no longer do), and she is hit on by all the guys in her school.
He then started hitting her, and he ended up breaking her ribs. She is now in constant pain, and can no longer model... which is ridiculous, she's still incredibly beautiful.
When we spoke before last night, she said she was glad he was gone from her life. I was glad, too. He was abusive, physically and mentally.
But then he contacted her and asked for her back, and she is going to say yes.
Please, she doesn't believe me when I say he is bad news... period. And she doesn't believe me when I say she is worth so much more than he has made her feel.
I know it's ridiculous, but the more people who agree with me the more likely she might feel this is a mistake. | Friend was abused so badly she won't listen when she is told she is worth more than going back to the asshole who hurt her. |
t3_vqrrk | relationships | How do I hold on to him and keep him interested? | My ex and I recently started seeing each other. We've been taking it slow and went on our first date last weekend. The days leading up to the first date, he seemed to be so in love. He called me and texted me all the time; he constantly told me he loved me and was very sweet. We had a perfect first date. There was a kiss good night but not much more than that. We live about two to three hours away and we are both working during the week so we can only see each other on the weekends. He's been not as attentive as he was last week and perhaps the novelty of us getting back together has worn off? I go a little crazy every time he doesn't text back or call me when he says he will. I'm trying really hard to contain all those crazed feelings. We date on and off for about a year and a half. Am I just being over emotional and needy?
How do I keep him from losing interest in this budding but long-distance relationship? I'm worried because we have broken up before, but I really want it to work out this time. I don't think he's lost interest yet--he decided to forgo seeing his family so we could spend time together this weekend, which I really appreciate! We are both 20-year-old college students. | Ex and I are exploring getting back together. How do I make sure it works this time and hold onto him? |
t3_2id7db | relationships | Any feed back please. | Okay so 21M here with a 22F girlfriend. We have been together on and off for a year and about 5 months. On and off because I always find a reason to break up with her for about 2 or 3 weeks at the most. I hated doing it and how I made her feel each time. I know I am wrong for this, and can't understand why we always get back. She is a great person and a really great girlfriend. Just not great for me. It is only recently that I realized we do not have any common interests, I have lost my patience with her and i just don't feel happy. I know it is because I think there is someone better for me, and for her.
The last time we broke up was supposed to be for good, but she called me telling me she was pregnant. Immediately I felt transformed and wanted to have a baby. So I was telling her everything was going to be okay. We were back together and I was making it work. At the time I thought I was back in love with her again because she was going to have my baby. She was six weeks pregnant but ended up losing the baby. I was hurt as well as her. So now after all that, I came to the conclusion I was only getting back with her because of the baby. I feel terrible and it has been about 2 weeks since she lost the baby. I can't even think about how she would feel if I wanted to break up again. I really don't want to hurt her, but can't think about being unhappy like this forever. Any way of making her understand this? I don't want to just say to her that she doesn't make me happy. I can't stand how it is going to make her feel. Is it possible for this to end 'okay'. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. | I am not happy in my dysfunctional relationship anymore. GF was supposed to have my baby but lost it at 6 weeks. No idea how to end it for good with the least amount of pain for her. |
t3_3w5zqr | tifu | TIFU by biting my fingernails | This actually happened to me on Saturday. A little backstory, I have a bad habit of biting my fingernails, chewing on them for a minute or so and then just spitting them out wherever I am. Gross, I know and my wife always yells at me. Anyway. So my wife and I were out and about, going here and going there, when I stopped at a gas station. She went in to get something to snack on. While she was inside I proceeded to bite one of my fingernails. Not wanting to spit it out in her car, I put it in the straw from a drink I had earlier in the day. It was watered down at this point and I assumed it to be trash. She comes back to the car and we start to pull away. Almost out of the parking lot when I hear, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" I slam on the brakes and my wife jumps out of the car and begins puking right in the parking lot. She had obviously sipped the drink and gotten a disgusting mixture of watered down soda and my fingernail. She now hates me. | I bit my fingernails and put them in a cup I thought was trash. My wife drank them and threw up. |
t3_3i1p2c | relationships | My [16 F] Girlfriend Kissed And Possibly Further Another Girl At A Party? Im [17 M] | Okay, so Its nearly half 5 in the morming and I just cant sleep becauae this is on my mind so im on my phone, please excuse spelling mistakes and whatnot.
My girlfriend went to a party the other week and Id not noticed anything until suddenly she didnt want to start having sex, like yeah okay fair enough no problem and we've not had sex for 2 weeks maybe, but the main point thats not helping it is that shes seen me about twice maybe three times in those two weeks, she keeps making plans to go out with family and friends, fair enough its the holidays but ??? Hello?
She came over the other day and left her account logged in on facebook and she was telling me something about her friend that had sent her so i was curious and wanted to get a better understanding so i opened up that and gave it a lil read and my girlfriend had admitted to being kissed by someone while drunk allowing them to do it but then continued on her own accord a whole bunch after and then there is a message that is unclear if it escalated into sexual action, but as it was a crowded party id assume not.. Well id hope not.
Ive never been i a position like this, shes joked around recentpy shes lesbian but the more i think about it... The more i think it could be true and our relationship is coming to an end, i want to cofront her about the situation but im so dazed about this whole thing i have no idea how to respond, being it up or even cope with knowing this...
What should I do??? Weve been together for over a year now, seems like its just.. Breaking. | Gf kissed some other girl at a party and now acting very weird to me and i have no idea how to act |
t3_2mub4c | relationships | Me (m20) and my best friend (f20) are just friends and I'm lost | I've never had a close female friend before that I haven't dated and I'm having an extremely hard time dealing with it...both in the fact that this is a new experience for me in having a non-romantic close relationship with a female and because I have no clue why we aren't together.
I met this girl only a few months ago, but ever since we've met we became really close friends and tell each other almost everything. Her and I have always been there for each other for the past few months. We flirted and went on several dates and she's told me stuff like I'm "the perfect guy" for her and how when she first saw me that she wanted to "do something" to me (you get the picture)among other things.
Yesterday she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship so I asked her if it was just me or everybody that she wouldn't date and she said everybody. I then asked what happened to her talk about a husband and kids and she said that she's "done" and would "rather be a loner than have anybody around her at this point" and I have no clue why she suddenly had such a drastic change in her thoughts. The only think I can think of is that it may be because of her situation with her father...she's been complaing to him a lot about going back on a program for his drug abuse lately and had been telling him that she won't see him until he has been in a program for 6 months. We r still friendly and are going to dinner and a movie on Friday but I just have no clue what happened to her. | I meet a girl and we get close to the point of being best friends and almost dating and then she suddenly doesn't want a relationship with anybody and idk what happened |
t3_33oh7w | relationships | (22M) Just curious: Do any of you guys or girls find yourself looking for the "better deal"? | I'm not talking about long committed relationships that are borderline marriages, but with the younger crowd 20-30 y/o who might be in a rather stagnant relationship.
For instance, a friend of mine is 20F and her boyfriend is 20M. They both started dating in high school. She's in college now doing rather well and he dropped out to be a full time mechanic.
She is really timid and self conscious though, not that I am in to her romantically... but does anyone else in these situations find themselves looking for the better deal? Like if you were to befriend someone else at a weekly volunteer club or something and then find out that he seems a lot more interesting than your current SO over the months? What do you do? Especially if you are afraid of risking becoming single and he is keeping his distance in respect of your relationship? | Are people ever looking for the better deal after a while in a relationship that doesn't seem to be all too exciting? What's the right way to handle your feelings? |
t3_23am9j | relationships | I [16M] have trouble letting go of my ex[16] after she is recently contacting me after 2 months of silence | Hi kind of shy posting here
but ehm so i met this girl online about 8 months ago it was the sister of a friend of mine but we immediatly had everything going for us and about a month later we were in a relationship i loved here more than what ever at that point but things started to look bad her mom has a depression so she isn't really happy mostly angry at my ex because she was the only girl...
so after 1 argument we had about me not going to school about 5 months ago for a month (because of medical problems) i just told her to shut up about it already and i hurted her feelings appearently so bad that she didn't really trust me...
so after like she didn't contact me for 3 days (including valentines) i said maybe we should break up i asked if she still loves me and she just said i don't know anymore the pressure is killing me at home (because of her mom and school not going well) so we had a break up at first we like had alot of contact de first week then there was 2weeks of 0contact and now she contacts me every 2 weeks she still wants to be good friends and i like the idea but i can't stop feeling hurt sometimes by the break up she told me she was sorry about breaking up i don't know what to do ;s | Had a break up , still in love with her, we get along great after 2months of no contact, should i try to get her back? i just need some input thank you. |
t3_30mi3d | relationships | So my friend [22F] doesn't let me [23F] pay for anything when we go out, but she's constantly broke? | Lexy and I have been friends for about 3 years now. I'd love to hang out with her more and do more stuff with her, but she lives with her overbearing parents 30 minutes out of town and shares their car; I pick her up often but she really hates it. Almost as much as she hates the words "my treat."
We're both college students, but I have a pretty good job that pays well enough and not that many expenses. I'd like her to go on some of my trips or come out on the town with me sometimes, but she refuses to do anything she cannot afford -- and this girl is the cheapest girl I have ever met in my life. She absolutely refuses to buy anything unless it's price slashed down to nothing. She goes for the absolute lowest-quality stuff constantly, even if she'll just end up replacing it the next week because it was trash. She doesn't like getting rides off me or me offering to cover costs; if she relents, she always insists on covering the next outing, which results in us throwing rocks into the ravine behind her house again.
It really is nothing to me, it's only occasionally after all, and I just want to hang out with her someplace other than her house, where her parents stare at me weirdly and they all talk constantly in Spanish so I can't understand. I don't know why she's so intense about it, my policy is, if someone offers and *tells you not to worry about it,* then it's fine. How do I get her to chill? | My friend hates it when I give her rides and offer to cover costs of eating or drinks. But if I don't, we would literally do nothing all of the time. What do I do? |
t3_17ehwc | needadvice | I need help. Repost from relationships | I just recently found out that my girlfriend (f 27) recently deceived me (m 21) , telling me that she was out with a friend and eventually admitting that she went to watch two men have sex. This happened last weekend and this weekend. She guilt tripped me when I didn't trust her last weekend, and this weekend as well. How do I reconcile this? Women in the past have cheated on me. Is this because I attract a certain type of woman? IS this just because of my relative lack of inexperience? Do women ever become trust worthy? Please help. I am not feeling mentally stable. My grandma has currently died and I am feeling a lot of pressure to be the man of the house. Seeing as my father was a severe alcoholic and died when I was 12, my two sisters and mothers are not emotionally stable and look to me for guidance. On top of this, all 3 of my immediate relatives are extremely obese and I fear for their health. I do not know what to do any more | My girlfriend "cheated", decieved me, put the guilt on me. Other areas of my life are going to shit. Help please |
t3_2at735 | relationship_advice | [26/f] My family wont accept my boyfriend [26/m] | So I dated my boyfriend for almost 3 years before we broke up for the second time in December. He was being unfaithful to and kept it hidden for a few months after he ended the cheating. I broke up with him. He confessed that he had been using drugs and alcohol during the time of his cheating. He knew I would never accept that party lifestyle so he went back to his old ex who didn't care if he used drugs as long as he would give her attention. He also used to curse a lot during arguments over text message. Not so much in person, but always through text. My family knows about all this.
He recently decided to make huge life changes. He's living in a sober living home and is doing incredible. He removed all his past friends who contributed to his crappy lifestyle. We started talking again and the past three months, he's been extremely caring, kind, and understanding. It's a change I've never seen before in the past three years of knowing him. My family refuses to see this tho. Everytime I bring it up, my mom sits me down and lectures me to the point where I'm crying. She takes it extremely personal and thinks I'm choosing him over them. She used to threaten to change my phone number if I didnt stop talking to him. Recently in the past two days, they had an intervention of sorts and sat me down and told me I need to stop talking to him. He's done absolutely nothing to show he's going back to his past ways, he's only gotten better, but they dont believe him.
What I need help with is figuring out what to do. Is my mom being overbearing for someone whose almost 27 years old? I pay rent, I graduated from college, I work almost full time, I spent the majority of my time with her, but she treats me like I'm doing something absolutely unforgivable by talking to him again.
What do I do.. | my boyfriend was crappy in the past but since has made huge life changes, family wont accept him and is forcing me to stop talking to him. |
t3_44z7mg | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years, could use some advice on long-distance budgeting | Sorry if the title is a bit misleading, this is my first time posting here. My partner and I (I've known him for 2-3 years now, and he asked me out on my 18th birthday ^.^) both have a teeny bit of an issue with impulse spending. We currently live in separate states, and I was recently wondering how we should compare budgets quickly and easily so we can both plan them together :) We plan on moving in together by the end of this year or possibly spring next year, so this is short term :)
I'm just looking for an easy tool, as I'm totally comfortable with sharing passwords with him and both of us viewing each other's accounts directly :) It just seems quicker to have a tool the two of us can use to do it together :p
Sorry if it's a really obvious solution (I sometimes miss the obvious solutions) :p | My long-distance partner and I could use a quick and easy way to budget together, but just sharing account info works too :) |
t3_2gfbq2 | relationships | I [21M] broke up with my girlfriend[19F] of 3 years a month ago. I love her, and I dont know how to cope. | I broke up with my girlfriend after being together for 3 years. She was going back to college, and another year of long distance wasnt going to work for either of us. We would have been miserable. the issues we had with her family, and how it led a large part in the demise of our relationship, piss me off greatly.
Long story short, I broke up with her to save us from eventually resenting each other, and preventing each other from having experiences we otherwise couldnt have while together. I did this with an intent of after a year or two, we should get back together and compare notes, see where we are in our lives, and see where to go from there.
The first month, I just kind of rolled with things, kept my weekends busy, bought a car, went on dates. I did everything I had been wanting to do. But now I think its finally hitting me. I dont know if i did the right thing. I thought the relationship had kind of just come to a natural conclusion. Sometimes things burn out. I had burned out, I couldnt put out any more effort without hurting too much. But now Im hurting more. I cant see how im going to find anyone else as good or better than her. I dont know how to cope with losing that familiarity, that emotional connection we had. I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I dont know. And because I ended it, and how things have worked out, I cant exactly try and get back with her, what with her being back in California now, over 800 miles away now. How do people cope with still loving someone, and breaking up with them? I can rationalize it all I want, but I cant convince my heart I did the right thing.
I go out, have a good time. I put up a good front. But when I get home, I cant help but cry now. Everything reminds me of her. All my stories involve her. All my pictures have her in them. I dont know how to work this out. | I broke up with my girlfriend after 3 years, now regretting it, but I know I cant go back. How do you cope with loving someone but not being able to be with them? |
t3_2dw9on | relationships | I [24M] broke up with my girlfriend [25F] of 18 months, she cheated emotionally. | It all happened 2 days ago. I came to her place after work. She received a call, went to another room and closed the door. I saw who it was on the screen of her phone. It was a dude that she has been talking too for at least a month, behind my back. We went to my car, we talked. I asked her whether she wants to be with me, she said that she did. I offered to take her phone, call the guy and tell him to back off, she refused. I asked her to do it, she refused again. She told me one of the most hurtful things I heared throughout my entire life. "I don't want to call him, cause I don't want you seeing how much I smile when i talk to him". This hit me pretty hard. At this point I was foolish enough to try to repair things, until she said "I fell in love". She fell in love with a guy she knew for a month and the guy is abroad. Having realised that the relationship is dead, I kissed her passionately, left her beside her house and drove home.
I am writing this because i think that it will help in one way or another. Seeing as this was my first serious girlfriend I definitely fucked some things up, I was possessive, jealous and many other things but I did not fuck anything up this badly. When she smiled, that was the most beautiful picture I could have ever imagined, however, she cheated on me.
2 days later, I feel physical discomfort, I can't stop thinking about how fucked up this situation really is and If she came back to me and assured me that she wouldn't I would have probably caved in, but I can't. Despite me loving her dearly, finding her as the most beautiful woman, this relationship has no future. If we came back together, I would be constantly thinking about possible ways she could cheat on me. I feel bad about the entire situation, I want her back, but I can't have her back. All I have now is a slowly growing will to perceive the future in bright colors. I wish her luck, she will forever have a special place in my heart. | GF confessed having feelings to another man and texting and calling him behind my back. We broke up. I wrote this to ask for unbiased views on this situation. |
t3_54hqfv | relationships | Me [27 M] likes [30 F] but thinks she isn't ready for relationship because she has too much of a social life and I don't | I met this girl recently, and she's a very friendly person. First day we met at this party, she was extra caring and considerate towards me and wanting to know more about what I did. We exchanged numbers and connected on Facebook. I met her again after a few days she was as friendly as ever.
I want to ask her out, but I've seen the way she is in life - a really great social life, lots of those "cool" guy friends doing lots of those "cool" things. I did some stalking and feel that most of them don't have girlfriends, but have lots of female friends.
I'm quite the opposite, despite being fairly good looking and confident, I don't like the idea of having many female friends and rather enjoy a male only company. I have few friends in general, and don't go out much unless it's on the weekends and that too for a few drinks and then back home. I'm more of a family type, and want to get settled down early. There are a few girls in my social circle but I don't feel very close to them.
My problem is this: I'm afraid to ask her out because I feel she's too cool for me, or that the guys around her are too cool compared to me. I feel that girls like that with a huge social circle aren't ready to settle down and leave their guy friends behind. I don't know if I'm wrong here, but maybe the good looking types like her want to have fun till they are in their 40s and then have a family. Could anyone shed a light on this?
If you think I'm being insecure, please say so. I know that I am being insecure but I don't want a heart break some weeks/months down a line because she gets bored with me. | I like a cool girl with lots of cool guy friends and despite being good looking/confident myself I feel that I would not be cool enough for her because I have a small social circle with no cool activities planned for every weekend. |
t3_1d5r1p | AskReddit | Help: Bad image of me shows up when I Google myself. How can I get removed? | I've done everything I can think of to try and get a photo of me off the internets. I work in PR and it is important for my name to come up clean when I'm Googled (especially now that I am interviewing at other firms). The image in question is one that I posted to a blog that housed some of my journalism school clips and I stupidly uploaded a photo of me with an unlit cig in my mouth next to a "No Smoking" sign in a bar. Dumb kid stuff, sigh.
I've deleted each and every post and image from the blog one by one and then deleted the blog itself, but the image still shows up when you Google my name. Is there anything more I can do? | Deleted blog where distasteful image of me appears, but image still shows up when I Google my name. How can I remove? Can I remove? |
t3_1fpig3 | relationships | Me(21M) and my gf(18f) are happy together, for months now. I didn't take her virginity and it's tearing me up to think about it. | I am 21 and she is 18. The relationship has been going on for 8 months now.
I don't know what to do. When I met her I though she was still a virgin, she seemed to nice and perfect to have had past relationships. The first few nights with her I found out she wasn't a virgin (5 past relationships), but had sex with her anyways and continued the relationship not caring at that point. But as time went on and I cared for her more and more the virginity issue has been tearing me up more and more. I CAN'T STAND IT!
(she lost her virginity at 16 to a guy she was dating and "loved", I didn't lose mine until 21 to a fuck buddy)
And to make it even worst, she still wants to keep up with and be friends with her first bf. She has told me that she is not interested in him at all in the way of an intimate relationship, but she just wants to keep in contact and be friends. This really hurts me because he is the one who stole her virginity. And the only reason they did it (according to her) is because they thought it was what they were supposed to do at the time. That's the only reason they were really dating, according to her.
I could give more information but it doesn't matter. I love her, and knowing that she's had sex before me and lost her virginity to another man is killing me. What do I do? | Me 21, gf 18, 8 month relationship. Girlfriend lost virginity to another man. As I care for her more and more it is tearing me up more and more to know it. HELP! |
t3_2ga9ox | relationships | Me [M,21] and my SO [F,22] have been dating for 13 months. We graduate this spring, but she needs to stay for grad school | As the title says, we started dating at the beginning of last (school) year. We got very close very fast, and had some conversations I don't think are common this young. We both want to get married and have a couple kids, live in a certain type of house, reside in a specific part of the country, etc. I planned to get a job in our college town while she would attend grad school, so we'd be able to live together after we get our undergrad degrees.
I had a full time engineering internship this past summer, and for that duration, we basically lived together (always slept together, cooked together, exercised together, the works). Now that school has started however, we rarely see each other: I am taking a 15cr, working 20hr/wk, and running a student organization. She has similar time commitments. I live off campus, and she's still an RA for the on-campus dorms. When we get to see each other, we just have homework dates since were both so busy. It also seems unlikely that I'll be able to get a local position right after graduation.
Yesterday, she brought up what would happen if I couldn't get a job in the area. Would she come with or stay and complete her degree? Would we do long-distance or break up? Would I move away for a great opportunity even if I *did* get a satisfactory one in the area?
I had deferred thinking about these things and it kinda put me on the spot. She brought up the possibility that if we weren't planning on staying together, she would need to know in the next couple months so she can sort out schooling and housing. I'd like some input on what to do, since I have literally no experience in the "relationship vs. career" department. | lifestyle changes in housing situation, academics, and future plans are terrifying, and I don't know whether we should just try to weather the storm, make a hasty commitment, or end it altogether. |
t3_2qvsyz | tifu | TIFU by asking my friend if he was going to propose to his girlfriend. | This just happened.
A little back story... My wife and I are visiting my parents in a small town in Colorado for Christmas. My childhood friend stopped by on his way moving back from the east coast. He made the trip with his girlfriend of two years who is from back east. Before they visit his parents, they're spending two nights in a quaint mountain town tonight and tomorrow night.
They came by and we hung out for a bit then they went on their way. But when he just called to let them know they made it okay (because the roads were supposed to be bad in the mountains) I casually asked "So... Are you going to ask her to marry you?!" There was this horrifying silence... Then he says... "Uh, you're on speaker." I hear his girlfriend say something in the background that I can't quite make out but she sounds exasperated and then he abruptly ends the conversation.
I just keep thinking if he was planning on proposing, it is news years tomorrow and I ruined it. If he WASN'T planning on proposing, then it's not going to go well for him either. | I asked my friend if he was going to propose to his girlfriend when I was on speaker and she was right next to him. |
t3_mvp0y | Parenting | Providing for a family (how much is enough?) | Hey there, all.
So I've got a bit of a conundrum. Now, I'm a pretty young guy (22) -- but this doesn't keep me from thinking about my future and the family I will most likely raise in the distant future. The most important thing to me at this stage is family. I would love to be able to see my family every single day and be a part of their lives and support them all that I can.
That said, I'm at a stage at which I have to decide which route to take in terms of a career. But herein lies the issue: do I take a job that will provide guaranteed, high pay (but requires 80% travel) or do I take one that is relatively flexible, local, and doesn't pay as much?
I understand that there are a ton of different factors in this, but can some of you provide household income and comment on how comfortable you are supporting a family?
I appreciate any feedback. I know it's early to be thinking about this, but I like to have my bases covered. Thanks! | I'm a young professional whose first priority is being able to spend time with family. Wondering what dollar amount is enough to live comfortably and provide for a family of say, two children. |
t3_4umw2r | relationships | My [22M] girlfriend [21F] of 2 years has a weird habit | Background: My girlfriend "Sarah" and I have been together for 2 years, and we've never had any real issues with our relationship. This isn't a major issue, either. But I find it weird and I wanted to get some input from other people.
This has been going on for about a month now. Every time I use the bathroom, whether it's at my house or hers, Sarah goes in there shortly afterwards. She spends a while in there, longer than it would normally take to pee, and I don't hear her flushing the toilet. Sometimes I hear her running the sink, sometimes not. The only time she does this is right after I've used the toilet, and she never did it prior to the last month or so.
Today I asked her what she was doing in there and she just looked at me weirdly and told me she had to pee... Again, I didn't hear the toilet flush, but I didn't press the issue because it's awkward. I'm just curious if anyone has any insight into what's going on? She is kind of creeping me out. | GF always enters the bathroom right after I use it. Evades questions about it. Is there a logical explanation for this? |
t3_15lew8 | self | Reddit, how did you get over the anger of society stealing your freedom and forcing you to submit to the slavery that is employment? | After finishing university and my summer job after it, there is immense pressure from my parents, society, gf and everyone to 'become a man' and take on a job and responsibility. I have had many different jobs over the years and even if they are not bad jobs that I actively don't like I still dread going into work everyday. I used to numb that with weed for years everyday but that time has ended now. ** I Fully believe that there is no such thing as a good job**, except those lucky enough to be like back country mountain guides or something.
But all I want is the opposite. To run and bike and have freedom all day. I idolize professional athletes who get to train all day, eat and sleep. No matter how grueling the training, it would be better then having a 'job'. I know ill never be that but I do say defiantly that it is not a 'boyish' notion to stand up for what to believe in and say no to an overbearing materialistic society. I would rather live in near poverty and have freedom then live in wealth and splendor and work too much to care or use it.
All I feel every day is anger and despair. It may even cost me the love of my life as the wavelength she is on one away from mine. She dreams about goals and money and moving and I just dream about running away and living in my car to hide. | How to you rationalize your loss of freedom and natural hatred towards work so that you can 'move on with your life'? |
t3_2q8iqd | relationships | My new GF [28F] and most of her friends have told me [28M] I'm not her type and its making feel inferior/jealous | I recently entered into a more serious relationship with a girl I'd been dating for a while and things are going well except for this particular piece.
Basically, its apparently a well known fact she was/is into muscular guys (aka frat boys that don't treat her well) or "beefcakes" as her friends call them. I am not that - I'm the intelligent type, even though I'm in decent shape (I can bench up to 200lb and deadlift 400lbs for reference) and am getting healthier.
It also seems like she was pretty promiscuous when she was younger, which has begun to bother me. Let me be clear - I'm down for a woman owning her sexuality and freely empower my friends that are girls to feel like they should do whatever they want.
I've also heard her casually call guys she's dated "boy toys", which is kinda fucked up and makes me feel like she may not value this a lot, or overvalues other particular things I may not be able to give - I'm no underwear model and I likely never will be. This includes being the type to bring guys back to her place then kick them out when they've finished (although that never happened to me).
I'm the first guy she's been in a relationship with ("relationship" not "dated" or "hooked up with") in 2 years and for some reason I can't help but feel like a chump or like she's settling for me - like there's some big joke going on between people like I'm the idiot who got stuck with her in the end. Like, two years ago would I have still stood a chance with her?
Our sex life is great, and she's a total freak which I am very into. I know she's done a lot of stuff with other guys, but she hasn't closed any doors on me, nor is it a size issue (I've had no other complaints and plenty of return business from other girls).
I'm pretty sure this all in my head and just need to talk it out, but I need to shake this feeling ASAP before it destroys this relationship. | Apparently she was into muscle guys / douchebags / "beefcakes" (which I am not) and used men a lot in the past, this makes me feel pretty inferior and replaceable. |
t3_1zv0zi | relationships | Am I [18M] wrong for not being comfortable with my GF [18F] wearing revealing clothing? | So my girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and she is a lot more free spirited than me. She likes to party and drink and go to clubs to dance. I, on the other hand, am more reserved and seldom drink. We are also attending colleges about an hour and a half apart, so I am unable to go to these events with her. She would never do anything that'd compromise this relationship and I have 100% trust in her. I know she'd never let anyone take advantage of her and everything like that. I love her so much.
The thing is she likes to go out in clothing that I'm not comfortable with her going out in stuff like bralettes and shirts that cut off rather high. I've told her many times that I'm uncomfortable with it (she is rather busty), yet she still goes and buys more for future events.
This isn't something that I'll break up with her for, but it really does make me uncomfortable knowing she is going out with her body showing off to everyone. I've talked to her about it many times and expressed that I don't like it, but I've basically given up on trying to convince her otherwise.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? I guess I just need someone to tell me whether I'm overreacting or not. | Girlfriend likes to go out to events in revealing clothing. I'm uncomfortable with it, yet she still does it. |
t3_26hg73 | Parenting | Smacking back... | A little background, my son is 1 at our home he has an entire loft and bedroom that is child proof (there's nothing he can't touch) which works well for us and he loves running back and forth playing and exploring. The problem I'm having is that when we go to other people's homes he doesn't understand why he can't touch everything, if I try to smack his hand and firmly say no he thinks we're playing and tries to smack me back. If I have to come to him to scold him he runs away giggling, thinking I'm chasing him. I just don't know what to do anymore he needs to learn "no" but it's hard at someone else's home. Any advice? | My son thinks I'm playing when I spank him or laughs and runs when I try to punish him, I'm at a loss |
t3_26o51l | relationships | Physical therapist [26ish F] wants to hang out with me [25 M] outside of appointments | So, I've been going to physical therapy since last November after I had surgery. I'm one of the youngest people that goes to this particular place, but I like the people I work with and feel comfortable there so I keep going even though that's not really their specialty, I guess? Anyway, every time I go in it's a pretty social event, and I end up talking to everyone there about a lot of things. Their relationships, mine, hobbies, work, etc.
As of March I've also been going through a divorce. They all know this as I was pretty messed up about it for a bit. I just started casually dating and have gone on a couple so far. Nothing serious. No second dates, just getting out there again. So, one of the physical therapists (the female) is always asking me how my dates went and all that. She's always super nice and interesting and funny. She has a boyfriend of a few months, I believe. So, I've just kind of chalked it up to her doing her job and not flirting or anything. Well, the last few weeks she has brought up hanging out outside of the appointments. Going hiking and other outdoor adventures. I'm not sure if she's flirting or if this is purely platonic... I mean, she seems really cool and I'd love to hang out and get outdoors and explore, but I don't really know how to deal with this. Am I reading into it too much? As far as I've seen, make and female platonic relationships just do not stay that way... That's actually why my marriage is ending. | been going to physical therapy since November. Going through a divorce since March. Physical therapist has expressed wanting to hang out outside of therapy. Is there anything wrong? Am I missing vital clues, here? |
t3_177lkg | relationship_advice | 19M my girlfriend is 19F and we are long distance. | She goes to school in canada while i am in NYC and we have given long distance another shot. Things have been pretty good up until now. Yesterday was her birthday and i was doing everything that i could do from nyc to make is special for her. For some reason she was being very angry through text and it upset me so i stopped talking to her.
As a result we argued all day the next day and she came to the conclusion that we should not talk as much if we are busy. I dont know how she came to that conclusion but it makes sense to her. I told her if i talked only when i was free we wouldn't talk due to the fact that i am a part of a D1 track team and my pole vault schedule is not exactly an easy one.
texting is the only from of communication we have except for the occasional vchat and as dumb as it may sound i find it very important. I need help finding something to say to her and other ways to deal with this distance. | Girlfriend does not want to text as much anymore but its our only communication. She is being rude at times yet confirms how she wants to be with me. |
t3_22pker | relationships | Me [26F] with my coworkers [25-30 M] doing pranks; I think they crossed a line this time, not sure how to react. | Hi Reddit! I work in the IT business, and am one of the only women at the department. This is no problem for me as I get along with the guys quite well.
Some of them make explicit jokes quite a lot, this is mostly about those internet shock sites and general superficial jokes. I'm okay with that as it doesn't involve me in any way and I notice they hold back when I'm around.
I always go along with their humor and it never really offends me, but today I didn't know what to think. Here is what happened:
some of my colleagues sometimes do a prank conversation on IM when someone leaves their pc unlocked, pretending to be that person.
So as a coworker starts talking to me on IM, I know straight away that it's a joke as this coworker never talks to me on IM.
He asks me when I'm coming to work at his department, so I go along and say "well should I get there now or is it not urgent?" to which he replied "now is fine; in your underwear is okay, but preferably without."
I didn't know what to say at that point, so just said "well I'm going to have to decline that offer" and then stopped talking.
After a while one of my colleagues said to me using his own account " hey it was just a joke :)!"
I didn't talk to them anymore, and I still feel quite uncomfortable when I think about it.
I know these guys and their jokes, but now they feel like different people.. Am I overreacting? This is the first time something like this has happened to me.
What's the best way of dealing with this? | Guys I work with and know pretty well made a joke, I feel like they crossed a line, but maybe I'm overreacting? |
t3_10fleh | AskReddit | This weekend, one of my worst nightmares almost came true. Reddit, what's one of your worst nightmares that has almost become reality? | This weekend I went on a 7 mile hike with my friend. We both drank quite a bit of water and were looking forward to using the restrooms back in the parking lot. These restrooms were your typical state park kind of restrooms - there was a single toilet seat above a deep hole in the ground, a tiny window that barely let in any light, and a heavy door that trapped all of the lovely smells inside. So, like any other person I quickly go in, lock the door, and go as fast as possible so I can escape the smell. I unlock the door and push on it to leave, but it won't budge. I try the lock again to make sure that the door is fully unlocked, but the door still won't budge. Luckily, my friend was waiting outside, so I called to her and asked her to help. After she stifled her laughter over the situation, she begins to pull on the door while I push as hard as I can. It was around this time that the horror sunk in - I might actually be stuck in this dark, stinky, bathroom for an extended period of time! After struggling for some time we were finally able to get the door open. Nightmare escaped. | Have always had nightmares about getting trapped in dark places and feeling helpless. Went to the restroom at a state park after a long hike and was trapped inside…but luckily only for a few minutes. |
t3_3zkgyc | loseit | Need help identifying a good low cost diet free of Gluten and Dairy for family of 4 | **First off the stats:**
27 yo Male
220 lb.
5'11"
100% sedentary (currently)
Celiac disease
Slight lactose intolerance
Non-smoker, 1-2 drinks/week
**The Goals:**
Exercise daily - at least 30 minutes
Goal weight of 165
Eat Better food and stop eating Junk
**The obstacles:**
Be head of 4 person household (SO - sugar junkie and not ready to give it up, Daughter - 5 and VERY picky eater, Son - 1 and eats ANYTHING)
$500 / month available to spend on food for all four of us
Aforementioned food allergies
Most week nights I only have 3-4 hours with my family so I don't want to invest too much time each night cooking and cleaning up.
Cannot go to Gym
**In Conclusion:**
I have been out of shape for over a decade, and I am sick and tired of it. I have done Keto and Paleo diets for about a month in the past, but they became costly and involved me eating different food than my SO and daughter. I want to find a way to feed the whole family better quality food without going over the food budget.
I plan to get up early to exercise at home, something, anything to get me moving and started on the path to fitness.
Any advice that can be offered would be tremendously helpful. | fat, lazy, out of shape. Need healthy diet for family of 4 under $500/month. NO gluten for any of us, no dairy for me. Any tips/help welcome. |
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