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t3_2y7eu5 | relationships | I [F25] think his [M23] ex is flirting and he doesn't agree. | We've been together for a year and a half. They dated through high school, for 4+ years. Recently they've gotten back in touch with each other. I'm not particularly comfortable with it (he took a half day off from work to help her with her dog because she apparently had no one else who could help), but he is an adult and he can do what he wants.
We're both hockey fans and go to the city to see games as often as we can. Tonight, she texted him telling him to take her to a hockey game, and that it could be her birthday present because "he forgot". I think she's pretty clearly flirting with him.
She has texted him before at night to go for walks, which he has turned down. I just don't think her intentions are innocent and he thinks there's nothing there.
Is he being delusional and niave, or am I just being crazy? I'd much rather be told I'm crazy and that I should let it go, but I don't really think that's the case. | Boyfriend's ex is flirting. Boyfriend doesn't agree. Should i be concerned and should he respect my concerns, or am I just crazy? |
t3_39ob0e | relationships | I [M19] found out my girlfriend [F20] cheated two (possibly more) times in her previous relationship. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. This is my first relationship and I'm very happy with her. Prior to being with me, she was with another guy for about a year. I deleted my Facebook account ages ago because it was a huge waste of time, but last week I ended up making a new account. A few days ago I got a message from her ex telling me that I should watch out because she cheated on him at least two times. Presumably he saw that we were in a relationship on Facebook and decided to message me.
I know that you have to take what ex's say with a grain of salt but it bothered me a bit. I ended up mentioning it to one of our friends (who's been friends with her since high school) and although she didn't elaborate, she confirmed it. I talked to my girlfriend about it today and she said that she loved him but she made a mistake. That it happened in the past and that it shouldn't effect now.
I don't know, I am just really uncomfortable. I have never had any doubts about her fidelity, and I trusted her completely, but now I'm not sure. I can't even imagine cheating on her. I don't understand how you can cheat on someone you supposedly love. If she could cheat on him, how do I know that she's not going to cheat on me? It's making me seriously question our relationship. | I [M19] found out my girlfriend [F20] cheated two (possibly more) times in her previous relationship. |
t3_2g7do0 | legaladvice | [Tennessee] I work for a small company (<5 employees) and I think my boss has some type of malware or virus installed on my personal (non-work) phone. | I live in Tennessee. I have a feeling that my boss (who has many friends in the private investigation field) has something installed on my personal smartphone. The main reason I think this is because I have noticed that any time I get a text while we are both at work his phone will get a notification EXACTLY the same time as mine does, every time. Couple this with the fact that in conversation he has brought up subjects that my wife and I had discussed via text only hours before (which I would chalk up to coincidence without the simultaneous notifications).
I could probably do a factory reset or even purchase a new phone to get rid of anything that may be on it. However, I fear that if I do that it will only be a matter of time before he just puts whatever it is right back on. Is there anywhere I can take my phone and have it checked out for malware and possibly determine who is on the receiving end of my information so I could have them charged? | I think my boss has hacked my personal Android phone. Is there a law enforcement office or private company I can have check my phone? I want to know if something is on it and who put it there. |
t3_1o2qtq | loseit | How can I eat healthy on a college campus? | I'm sorry if this has been posted before. I didn't see it in the FAQ or anywhere else.
I'm not trying to lose that much weight, but I'd really like to be leaner. I'm 19 f 5'6 135-140. I know it's a fairly healthy weight, but I definitely have the potential to do better. My problem is that my college has a notoriously bad dining hall. The only good food anywhere on campus is really unhealthy. I don't have access to a kitchen, so I can't cook my own healthy food. I tried buying some healthier snack foods, but I ended up eating only that.
To expand on the dining hall: it's buffet style, so there's a ton of low quality food. They often repeat meals for days at a time. They have a vegan station, which is definitely the healthiest, but it's really monotonous. It's always a salad bar and a (tofu) pho bar. Always. I don't even like pho. They have a "homestyle" station, which is like mom&dad food. It's probably the next healthiest, but it's always really bland. Honestly, I usually end up eating just a burger patty or something worse. The rest of the food is all burgers and pizza and grilled cheese.
The only other food on campus is either deep fried or bagels. No thanks. To make things worse, my two (read: only) best friends are major fast food addicts. One of them is obese and the other is frustratingly fit. My campus is surrounded by 24 hour fast food restaurants, so I end up giving in way too frequently.
Due to my lack of options, I started a really unhealthy cycle of binge eating. I would go an entire day without eating and then have one really unhealthy meal the next day. Repeat forever. I mean, it kind of worked, but I had zero energy and started getting behind in classes. I couldn't even work out, so I didn't achieve much.
Now I want to have a balanced diet and stop binge eating. Does anyone have any advice or personal experiences? Should I just give up on my taste buds and eat terrible, healthy things? | Food on campus is either awful or unhealthy. Friends enable my love/hate relationship with fast food. I started binge eating and it sucked. Help please. |
t3_3aiwof | relationships | I'm [22 M] thinking of breaking up with my highschool/college sweetheart [22 F] | So, I need to be brief because she'll be here soon, but we've been dating for four years in July, and though I still care for and may even love her very much, I don't think I'm ready to settle down. I'm finding myself less and less attracted to her and more and more interested in other people (I've never cheated or even considered the notion.)
She's an amazing person, though she can drive my crazy at times. I think the major reason for this decision is my need to have more experiences. I'm still young and she's the only person I've ever dated for more than a month or two. I've gone through my parents divorce, years of counseling, a diagnosis of depression during our relationship and she's stuck by and supported me. I've done the same for her through two major surgeries and similar family crises.
We've been an incredible couple, but I think I need something else now - including space. She can't handle being away from me for very long, doesn't like to go out by herself and will try to get me to come with her. That wouldn't be too much of a problem if she didn't want to go out every day.
We just graduated, starting entry-level jobs in our fields soon. She's talking apartments (we've lived together before, including an apartment in college) and I'm thinking breakups. | Planning to break off my first long term serious relationship, I'm not ready to settle down. Need advice/to be told if I'm crazy/a bastard to do so. Also, break up tips. |
t3_xn1hc | relationships | Confused about my situation | I am a 21 M, and she's 21 as well.
We dated for about 5 months, and last week she broke it off with me. I took it really hard, and cut contact for about 5 days. We're going to be back at school together in the fall, so after she caved and texted me first, I started talking to her some.
Now we're back to texting just short of the amount we texted when we were dating, and her texts seem to on the side of flirting where we were before we dated, while I've kept mine very relaxed and subdued, as I don't know what I want to happen.
I know she's talked with one of my best friends about the situation, and he's let me know there was no other guy, and I just really don't know what to do about the whole situation.
It's definitely a possibility that we get back together near the start of school, but I don't know what I want for sure yet.
My question boils down to should I try and define what we currently are, a week after this break up, and see where we're both at concerning us? | She broke up with me, 1 week later we're texting a lot again. Her texts seem flirtatious. Try and figure out what she's feeling, or wait till school to see what happens? |
t3_25bbk3 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my friend [25 F] of 3 years has recently started to distance herself. Need Advice. | I've been friends with her for about three years. Up until about 8 months ago, she texted me randomly and since then, her and i texted each other back and forth for a while.
I have been under the impression that the relationship or friendship has been platonic or that she at least just sees me as a friend, as we have both gone on dates (not with each other) and the other has known about it.
About two weeks ago, I went on a date with a mutual friend of ours and nothing came about of it. However, she freaked out about me going on this date and told me she needed to talk to me in person about it. I have tried to set time aside for her to talk to me however,
her response is usually "It's not that important. We'll talk about it when we get to it."
With that being said, she now hasn't texted me as much and seems to be distancing herself.
I'm fairly oblivious to things so I guess I am asking you guys for your advice. Did I do something out of the wrong here? Should I give her her space? Am I just overthinking things and shouldn't really bother until she has that talk with me?
I guess it should be of note that I really value and like her friendship. Otherwise I wouldn't even bother.
Feel free to ask me for more insight or if you have any questions on or about anything. | Friend contacts me 8 months ago. Nonstop texting and talking. Suddenly starts distancing herself. Did I do something wrong? Does she just need space and I'm over thinking? |
t3_4lc9o2 | relationships | Me [15M] with my friend [16F] I've known for 3 months, moving states. I want to start a relationship. | I met this girl through my ex (when I was dating her). Through hanging out with her I realized how perfect of a person she is to me. If I were to start a relationship, I feel that it would be based of way more than my previous one.
The problem (for me), is that she's moving 2 states away. I want to tell her how I feel. I don't want to spend the time when she's gone thinking "what if?".
I'd just slow her down. She's turning 17 in a few days. She's (sophomore) going to try to graduate high school in Junior year. I'm passing to sophomore. Age or grade isn't really a problem. The reason I don't want to go for it is that she has her whole life ahead of her. She has goals and ambitions. I'm not going to be the one to slow her down.
We're still friends, and we can still communicate over video calls.
I think it would be better if she moved on with her life, and did the things she wants to do. Maybe she'll find someone better than me. My own selfish desires are not worth halting the process of her upcoming Junior year, the year she'll be turning 18, the year she'll have a job in, and the rest of her life. She's got shit to deal with one of them shouldn't be me.
She'll have a better life without me. She'll have a better life, without me. | Female friend moving two states away. I want to start a relationship, but I don't think it's worth it because id slow her down (and obvious problems with long distance). |
t3_3bndcl | tifu | TIFU buy being logged into Amazon Prime on my phone | While it was certainly a surprise to me, it wasn't quite the surprise that had been planned. So I woke up this morning like any morning, to the sound of mechanical keys being hammered on by my girlfriend programming away before work. So after some morning pleasantries I resort to my own morning routine of browsing reddit on my phone while sitting in bed - that's when I see a notification from Amazon Prime.
Apparently I had still been logged into the App despite several resets of my phone, it was a shipping confirmation. The girlfriend and I share a joint account, we've been living together for 4 years now, we pretty much share nearly everything. As such we always confer on purchases and such, which the GF hadn't mentioning purchasing anything in the last couple of days. I didn't want to immediately jump to conclusions, like unauthorized access, so I asked her if she had bought anything. No.
Then I noticed that the shipping address was a mutual male friend of ours, so that's a bit odd. Here's the kicker too, it was male engagement band. Well that's not good, nor doesn't it make sense. Asked her about that too and that's when she decides to just come out and tell me that she planned on proposing to me this weekend at a fancy restaurant that we both enjoy. We were talking about it going there already for something special on the holiday weekend (U.S. Independence Day) and had already made reservations and she had been doing a lot of hush-hush talking with friends and family that she wouldn't talk about. She had been planning this for at least a week now and I unwittingly ruined it, reddit! Even after she changed the password on the account, apparently it doesn't suspend the session for devices logged into it.
Happy ending time: It didn't change anything, will still get band this weekend and plans are go to start planning the wedding - already hearing "Canada" and "Ice Hotel" being thrown around. >.> | Girlfriend decided to break traditional gender roles to propose to me this weekend, I unwittingly ruin the surprise by being logged into Amazon prime on my phone and seeing the delivery confirmation for the band. |
t3_2t49fv | relationships | Me [23f] with boyfriend [26m], together 2 years. Just looking for advice on talking about where this relationship is going. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and we've never talked about, or even mentioned, what we want in regards to living together, marriage, kids, etc. Sometimes he'll drunkenly say we're meant to be together, and once in a while he'll (soberly) mumble about us being destined... except when I try to open a dialogue about it he says he doesn't really believe in that stuff. Which is usually fine but now I'm getting to the point where I'm really, genuinely curious about whether or not we're going to take the next step, or any steps.
I'm not a very emotional or romantic person and I like to take things slow, but with the way my life is going I'd like to know whether we're still going to be just dating for another two years. I like where we're at right now but I'm not going to in the next few years. I'd really like to talk to him about this but I'm not sure how to bring it up since I've never had this talk before. I'm also kind of anxious about what his answer will be.
How should I approach this? | Been with boyfriend for two years and very happy, but will want to take the next step eventually and we have never talked or hinted at this. How to start the conversation? |
t3_3uyji0 | legaladvice | An IUD punctured my uterus and wandered about my body cavity | Gave birth, had an IUD placed on a Thursday. That night I felt pain and went to bed early. I woke up fine but as the weekend wore on I was in more and more pain. I emailed the doctor and she set up an appointment for me to come in first thing Monday.
Monday comes and Dr. can't find it. I go to the hospital to get an ultrasound and ultrasound tech can't find it. I get 2 x-rays and they find it near my liver. It had punctured my uterus (through my c-section scar) and had been wandering around my body cavity. I had surgery to remove it and went home that night.
Because I had a birth, I'm already at my max out-of-pocket for my insurance. So I had something like $300 in co-pays, but that's it. I was on maternity leave so I didn't miss work. (I think, I haven't gotten any bills since and it happened in September.) Family watched the kids. It shouldn't damage fertility and internal organs weren't damaged. I have a scar in my belly button and one on the side of my stomach.
This is rare.. like 1/2000 level of rare. I was given a pamphlet when the IUD was inserted, and while I can't find it, I'm sure it mentioned that the migration was a possibility. I know this because they've been sued recently for *not* mentioning that risk and amended it in 2014. It is a greater risk to breastfeeding moms (which I am) also.
Is it dumb, or morally reprehensible, to sue the manufacturer of the IUD for the $300. Or is it dumb not to sue? Maybe I should just write and ask them for it nicely? I'm not interested in suing my Dr. I don't think she was at fault. She seemed to follow procedure and she checked to make sure it was in place when we were done. Nothing I've read has convinced me otherwise, either. | Birth control device punctured uterus and wandered around body cavity. Spent weekend in some pain, spent Monday in hospital. Recovered pretty quickly. Out $300ish after insurance. Should I sue manufacturer? |
t3_4o1nlh | relationships | I(27M)found a locked folder filled with pictures of me on my wife(23F)'s laptop. Do I just ignore it? | So my wife and I have been together 4 years, married for 1. Recently she has gone to visit family members living in another country and I couldn't go with her due to my job. She has been gone for two weeks now and will be back on friday. About three days ago she asked me to send her pictures of our daughter stored in her laptop as she wanted to show them to family members. So I went to get the folder but among the many folders there was one that was locked. I know it was wrong of me, I shouldn't have snooped and I violated her privacy. I didn't even believe I could get her password right but I did (she tends to use really obvious ones like a combinaison of my and our daughter's birth dates so it wasn't that hard). Turned out the folder was filled with pictures of me, hundred of them. Pictures I knew were being taken and more candid ones like me sleeping or being busy. What I don't understand is why she would lock this folder? I could understand if she wanted to protect my privacy by locking that folder but there are other family pictures in folders that are not locked. There are also no intimate pictures of me.
I spoke about it with my brother but he didn't take it seriously and kept making jokes about how my wife was a hitman and I should be careful. If she had just a folder filled with pictures of me I could somehow understand, but that folder was *locked*. She knows it doesn't bother me that she likes taking pictures of me so why lock it? My question is, do I just forget I found this folder or do I ask her about it knowing she will get upset over me snooping? Is is it worth it? Does anyone have any idea why she would do that? I know this issue is not really that important in the grand scheme of things but I was wondering if it was worth potentially starting an argument. | My wife has a locked folder on her laptop filled with hundreds of pictures of me. I found it by snooping. Do I ask her about it or do I just let it go? |
t3_qymel | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, What is the funniest/most embarrasing thing you have seen in a public washroom? mine just hapened... | I just went to take a shit at the library washroom and I took the only available stall (only three stalls). Im just minding my own business for the first couple of minutes, but I do notice the guy two stalls away is brathing heavily, as if he's having trouble shitting.
All of a sudden I hear the loudest and longest fart of my life. Im not exagerating when I say it lasted for about 5 seconds and im sure it was loud enough to be heard outside the washroom. I try to be respectful and not laugh, but the guy in the middle stall starts laughing. Hearing this, the farter apologizes and says he had a burrito the night before.
At this point I cannot hold my laugh and join the other guy in laughing at this fart. I feel terrible for this, seeing as I always expect respect from fellow stall neighbors, but this time I could not help it and laughed uncontrollably.
I actually had to cut my shit short, clean up and go, otherwise I would have kept laughing and made him feel even worse. | heard the loudest and longest fart of my life from a neighboring stall and laughed uncontrollably while the guy next to me was obviously ashamed as he apologized |
t3_2w0i4s | relationships | How to forgive my [21 F] boyfriend [21m] for "emotional cheating" | I few months ago I made a post here asking for advice as I had found some very upsetting texts between my boyfriend and his female friend. I was already jealous of her because they texted constantly.
We very nearly broke up, I broke down crying etc. Initially he was angry that I snooped, but later just asking what he could do to make it better.
He has no contact with her anymore, apart from when he has to see her at uni he says hello, saying he can't just be completely rude (I don't personally see why not but fine).
So there isn't really anything else he can do. I just have many unanswered questions that keep going round and round in my mind. Did he have feelings for her? Did I just overreact? What the hell else did they say when they were nonstop texting (will never know - he deleted all their texts). The girl has even blocked me on Facebook.
I want to move on because otherwise our relationship is great, I just don't know how to :( | I am having trouble moving on from my boyfriend sending emotional texts to a girl he knew I was jealous of. How do I get over this? |
t3_13i00c | travel | Japan or France? | I'm a junior at an American university that requires a trip abroad, which I love, but I just decided to graduate a year earlier than I had expected (I dropped a major) so I now have to rush and pick a trip. One of my friends is going to France for a month, while one of my professors is taking a group to Japan. I know a little French and am going to pursue that no matter what, but I've always wanted to visit Japan and learn that language, too. I know that both have great destinations and will end up venturing to both, hopefully, but who knows?
The smart choice, I feel, is to go to France, as I need to learn French for Graduate school, but I wanted to see what others suggested who had been to both or either of the places. Interest is telling me go to Japan, but logic to France. Help? | I have the opportunity to go to either Japan or France, and I would like your opinion on which one to choose. |
t3_1a0ycd | relationships | I [21F] am having trouble jumping back into a new relationship with new boyfriend [24M]. | Before i started dating my current boyfriend, i had four months prior ended a four year relationship, my first long term and serious relationship. During the course of my relationship I was raped by a friend of mine at school, this has made it difficult to be intimate with anybody. I finally thought I could move on when I met my current boyfriend, it seemed like he really liked me. The relationship escalated quickly sexually because I was so excited that I could feel anything remotely sexual. About 2 months into our relationship, I started feeling wrong about having sex with him. I talked to him and told him I needed to explore myself sexually so that I could be sure what I wanted in that aspect. He's been waiting very patiently while I try to be intimate with myself.
Yesterday (3months and a half), I informed him of progress in my path to self discovery. It makes sense that he got a little frisky considering it is a path to sexual discovery, he started asking me how long it would be, I told him I wasn't really sure. My question is do you think it's fair to make him wait, I understand that i gave him certain expectations when I began to be sexual with him, so how long is too long because I'm not sure when I will be able to be intimate that way. I also understand that it is a very short relationship, but I really like him, and want to start things off the right way. | I [21F] am having trouble jumping back into a new relationship with new boyfriend [24M] because of prior traumatic experience. |
t3_2hmbmz | tifu | TIFU by accidentally implying that I wanted to shove my dick down my male friend's throat in front of his whole family. | The recent post about that guy accidentally flirting with his boss reminded me of a similar thing I did a couple of years ago. I was on a boat with a friend's family, many of whom I hadn't met before or was only on polite terms with. My friend and I were both teenage dudes, who might be described by others as kinda flamboyant insofar as we were just really enthusiastic, goofy, creative types. Probably the kind people would have guessed were fooling around in the dark on sleepovers. We weren't; I think we were both in that really awkward, uncertain, uncomfortable period of pubescent sexuality at the time, but it wasn't something we discussed, and i certainly felt no attraction toward him. Anyhow, my friend turns to me and says "I feel really seasick, I wish I could just throw up and get it over with", to which I respond, quick as anything, "well, I could trigger your gag reflex!". I meant this in a "how funny/weird would it be if I just unexpectedly shoved my whole hand down your throat right now and made you throw up all over this boat" kind of way, but I realised the more likely interpretation as soon as the words came out of my mouth. All conversations around us lulled momentarily, a few skeptical glances were cast, but thankfully it was politely ignored by most... Unfortunately, his hypermasculine bro-type older stepbrothers were sitting right across from us and could not stop snickering and whispering about it for the rest of the damn boat ride. For two sexually frustrated, insecure teenage boys, it was an incredibly embarrassing and unpleasant experience. He was pretty mad at me afterward. | made many members of my friend's immediate and extended family extremely uncomfortable by causing them to think that they had overheard me propositioning him for oral sex. |
t3_2kljoj | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 2 years - He has just informed me we may be apart for 8/9 months. | Background: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. We are sophomores in college. We broke up once for about a month/month and a half the summer before freshman year, but got back together and everything has worked out surprisingly well.
I am planning to study abroad in Spain second semester of this year (January 19-April28). He just informed me last night that he will be spending most of december and some of January in Florida with his family. He also informed me that he plans to leave our home state for the summer because he wants some time away from his mother and "try something crazy" and he thinks this is the opportune time for that (so he would want to do this completely solo). So his summer trip would be May or June through August.
He made it very clear that there is nothing wrong with the relationship, but he was not willing to be in a long distance relationship for nine months because of his friends that have tried it, it hasn't worked out. I told him we could visit each other and make if work if he wanted to, but he does not seem especially keen on that idea, but I still don't have a straightforward answer.
I am really not sure what to do. I could stay here for second semester and not go to Spain, and go next year while he is also studying abroad. I could just let whatever happens happen, as not everything is set in stone with his summer plan, but he seems pretty determined to go. I just really need help. I've been sobbing for hours. We agreed that now was not the time to break up, but it just makes me so sad knowing I might lose one of my best friends over a stupid 9 month period.
I should add that I am willing to make it work if he is; I love him very much. But of course, things should never be one-sided. | Boyfriend and I are spending 8/9 months apart with some time to see each other in between, but he does not feel like long distance will work. Don't know what to do. |
t3_364dkp | relationships | I [18M] never took advantage of the opportunities to be with this girl [17F], and am living a life of regret. | It all began at the start of senior year. A girl who I never noticed, never had a class with, walked in to one of my classes. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and I am afraid the most beautiful I'd ever see. She was a timid girl. We didn't get to really talk in the beginning. But after building up my courage, in December I finally got to speak to her. I know that I shouldn't mess around with the word love, but I loved her. And she liked me back. However, then the second semester came and we had no classes together, and we lost contact. All that was left was eye contact and smiles as we passed one another in the hall. Eventually that ended as well.
I now always see her with another guy. I am worried they are more than friends. She went to prom with him, and I took someone else. Even now with two weeks left of the school year, I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want to see her go. I don't want to live my life in regret. I know this may sound cowardly, but I am in desperate need of help. | I never took advantage of the opportunities to be with this girl, and there are only two weeks of school left. I am afraid she is in a relationship with someone else. |
t3_weev3 | relationship_advice | Disturbed by GF's weird sexual history | I have been dating this girl for last 6 months. We met through some online dating service and we hit it off pretty well. Everything has been perfect so far. Although I have had another girlfriend before her but due to her reluctance to have sex till marriage, my current girlfriend was my first. I knew that she has had multiple (9 or 10) partners before me and although it disturbed me a little but I thought it was pretty normal (I guess) for a 25 year old and let it go. Last night she got a text from one guy she used to sleep with (not a boyfriend) asking her for a threesome which she laughed off to. I was pretty furious at his proposition to my girlfriend and she told me respond to him using her phone. I started typing and then I saw that she had done really weird stuff (sexually) with him and when I asked she said she was lonely and was willing to say anything he or plenty other guys wanted to her. Note that she does not have a very high sexual drive so it was not to just have sex. She kinda used sex to lure guys to be around her while they did all kind of weird stuff they wanted to do. I have been so disturbed by all this that it has literally made me sick since then. I really like her but her attitude towards sex and relationships just doesnt seem healthy to me. I know I am not supposed to be jealous about her past as it was before me but my problem is not that. I would be perfectly okay with whatever she did with someone she loved but here the sex was used as a tool to get close to douchebags (she admits she knew they were douchebags). I have no idea how to deal with this. | Just found out that GF of 6 months used to have sex with random douchebags just so she would not be alone and having a hard time dealing with it. |
t3_4600ob | relationships | What would you think in this situation? | I'm 23 and live with my boyfriend. My mom and her boyfriend and my younger siblings all went away for a trip to Ottawa. I would have loved to go because I don't get out much, but I wasn't going to be a brat about it. I figured I'm an adult so I can go on my own trips.
They asked me to watch their dog and cat. I love them, so of course I said yes. I had them for almost a week, had to go for walks and stuff and clean up after them. All was fine. I was just kind of offended when they came to pick them up and didn't offer any money. 8 would have been fine with like $20. I'm super broke and we don't have much food or anything until my boyfriend gets his paycheck on Friday.
On one hand I'm feel like it's rude to expect payment from family, but on the other I feel like I missed out on fun and ended up being housebound with more animals that required more care. And I'm really broke and they know this. What do you think? | my mom and entire family went on a trip and asked me to watch their dog and cat, and didnt offer to pay me anything when they know I'm broke. Should I be offended? |
t3_xt3te | AskReddit | Dear Scientists of AskReddit, Sciedditists, Did you happen to struggle with math? | Science has always been incredibly fascinating to me, however for many years I lived in ignorance that I could just flunk my way through math and then jump into NASA or related astrophysics field or even something around the means of medical engineering. I don't know what led me to believe this, perhaps it was my struggle in understanding math that let make-believe a world with little to no math was possible. Doesn't matter.
I now know better, and I am trying to get through the simplest algebraic sequences and still its so gorram painful with some of the simplest foundation work.
Will Math Get Interesting?
I overheard Adam Steltzner, (Lead Mechanical Engineer for the Mars Exploration Rovers mission at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL)) Say that while he had a bad time through high school geometry, he loved physics later on.
Well, I had aspirations to become an artist not that long ago, and Geometry actually went better than all other sections of math. Will I see any respect for geometry later in math?
Can I learn to love math like I automatically loved science?
Do some women actually like beards? | OP is entering depression with the realization that algebra-calculus will take years to memorize and comprehend. Is there a field of science that lets OP paint pretty pictures and write long winded yet colorful analytical articles? |
t3_15tgac | relationships | My fiancé says his dream is to not be monogamous | Well... my boyfriend[M25] and I[F24] have had a difficult time the last few months, but we love eachother so we want this to work. We have been together for over 5 years.
He has been very open with his deepest thoughts during the last weeks. And I have been hearing things that you don't want to hear.
Things like his dream is to make kids with different womans. We have to kids of our own. He says that it wouldn't work out since we already have av monogamous relationchip. But if we don't work out he want to woman in a relationchip next time.
Until know we have had a typically monogamous relationchip where we includes only the two of us. The sex life has always been good, and I think that I am a typically superwoman. I work hard, deliver and pick up the kids from kindergarden every day, making delicous dinner, take the most of the housework by myself and blablabla..
He has always said that he want it to be us till the end. That he wants only me. But know he also says that he would want a treesome. That it wouldnt work out actually doing all this. But it is in his head. | I feel stupid, not worthy and especially not a superwoman. If I was that for him, why would he have these thoughts? Why would he want more, and I'm not enough. |
t3_24vlln | relationships | I (20 F) slept with a close friend (M 23) and now I don't know how to tell him I'm not interested. | I have been very close to this friend for about a year and I have always known he was interested in me. He was the friend who's shoulder I cried on when my ex cheated on me and broke it off and since then we have gotten closer as friends. I had made it clear to him several times that I haven't moved on from my ex and will need a lot of time before I think about dating anyone again. I didn't directly address him with that statement but it has come up a couple times in casual conversation so he knows I'm not ready for a relationship at this point.
It's been about 5 months since my ex left and last Wednesday night we were drinking with our group of friends and at the end of the night it was only me and him and we ended up having sex. I regretted it as soon as I woke up the next morning because I was just drunk and lonely and I felt bad for doing this to him. Now here's where I become a huge bitch, ever since that night the way he talks to me just kind of grosses me out and makes me not want to talk to him. Instead of being his normal joking around self, he texts me that he misses me ALL THE TIME, literally 5 or 6 times a day and every conversation turns into him complimenting me and sending me pictures of flowers and stuff. I've been using finals week as an excuse to not talk to him more than a couple texts a day and not see him. I just feel so weird and kind of icked out by him since, because of how he professes his love for me everyday and acting completely different.
I know I fucked up and shouldn't have slept with him and should have told him before that it was just sex and nothing else but now it's so far gone because I didn't know what to do. Is there anyway I can let him down gently after all the damage I did? | Had drunken sex with a friend who's been interested in me for a year and now he's telling me he loves me. Don't know how to let him down. |
t3_t2cwb | AskReddit | Dads of Reddit, are there particular things that your daughter's boyfriend does that you absolutely hate? | Well here's my story. Today, I rode the city bus home with my girlfriend as we do everyday because we go to parochial school and don't have a chartered bus service. We got off the bus and walked to her house like we do everyday, we sit outside and wait for her parents to get home. Her dad gets home and we both get in his truck and he takes me home (I live too far to walk). So he pulls into my driveway and my girlfriend and I walk up to my front door and i kiss her goodbye and whisper that I love her and she walks back to her dad's truck, I go inside and put my backpack up and change out of my school clothes.
Now here's the fun part. I get a text message from her about thirty minutes later saying that once she got into the car, he began yelling at her and telling her how much he hates how she hangs on me. Now keep in mind that we try to not be physical in front of her parents as they are strongly Christian and oppose early courtship and too much physical contact. Im not sure what I've done to make him blow up like that.
I'd like to know from the Redditor dads out there, if your daughter's boyfriends ever get you really mad. | Girlfriend's dad got mad at her for always hanging on me. What do you Redditors think as dads and what do your daughter's boyfriends do that make you mad. |
t3_1o2sfm | dating_advice | relaxing 'date' tonight not quite sure what to talk about worried this will lead to a fadeaway [25f/24m] | I know that what we are doing is just for fun no strings (I am still playing for the long haul)
He is very busy with grad school and and job, I try not to bug him too much but this has led to me questioning his interest, tonight is the first night in three weeks we have been able to meet up. I feel like I will have nothing to talk to him about. I do want to keep him interested.
Tonight I plan on just making him less stressed, but I feel like the pressure is on to show him that I am more than just a FWB. I am just constantly worried this is the beginning of the end when I see him because I can't read people well and he dose not let things show. | keeping easy/low stress with busy guy, don't know what to talk about on date/ girl wants more than FWB |
t3_34iv72 | askwomenadvice | Looking to show my [33M] wife [32 F] how incredibly important and appreciated she is on our faux-Mother's day this Sunday. Asking for help with thoughtful and creative ideas. | Hi women of Reddit,
I thought I would see if any of you would weigh in on my situation here. Essentially I want to make my wife feel extra special this Sunday--- when we will be celebrating Mother's Day. We have a wedding to go to for the weekend on the actual Mother's Day way down in Florida (we live in NJ) so she will be away from our son (Staying with my parents) on actual Mother's Day.
She is upset with this situation in the first place but I told her we will celebrate it this week. Aside from cute cards, flowers and the typical gift my son (2 yrs old) will clumsily make with my help I wanted to know if you guys have any idea that would be really "Sweet" and she would appreciate in a way that shows how much she means to us!
She is 11 weeks pregnant with our second and at that point comes a lot of the anxiety and other fleeting feelings up and down on any given day that that time of the pregnancy can bring. I just want to make sure she has a cheery day and really feels special.
As for currently planned activities there is a kite festival and big orchard fair in Princeton I think we will be going to that she expressed interest in.
Enough of the rambling: basically anything else I could do, buy, make or take us to that you think she might really, really appreciate?
Thank you! | Wife is 11 weeks preggers with 2nd. We will miss regular mother's day due to wedding out of state. Want to make this sunday extra special- need ideas. |
t3_2101si | relationships | I [20M] let my friend [20M] use my credit card. He wants to "meet in the middle" to pay me back. | I let my (best) friend use my credit card to order some stuff online. At the time, he said he'd pay for it promptly and in-full. Two weeks and no money later, I bring it up and he says it's no problem. The total came to $43 USD, but was $50 CAD (so I was charged $50). He said he'll pay me $43 because that's what he thought the charge was. While $7 isn't a big deal, I think it's the principle here. It's disrespectful. I told him that wasn't fair, and he said that he'll meet me in the middle at $45 because the bank only gives 20's and he has no change. Again, the difference isn't a big deal, but I find the lack of respect is. I bluntly said "I can get you change. It cost me 50 so I want 50 back dude." Am I being frugal, or do I have a point? | Friend used my credit card. Wants to pay me back $45 instead of $50. I want all of it because I find it disrespectful. Am I being a dick? |
t3_13ywdk | AskReddit | When I need it I can't find it, but when I don't it's always in the way. What things do yall have that seem to sprout legs and walk away when you need them? | So my baby flame brooks kingsnake, Nusku (Babylonian god of fire and light) shed today and as some of you may know, it is awfully hard to measure the exact length of a snake. They don't want to stretch out all the way and they tend to wander and squirm. So I figured I would just measure the shed to get a close estimate of the length, I reach for the measuring tape I keep in my room and its not anywhere in sight. I look everywhere and I still can't find it. But it is one thing that always seem to be in the way when I try to set my laptop down on my desk, book on tv stand, cup on windowsill, and etc. | I can't get away from my measuring tape when I don't need it but when I do need it, I can't find it. Still can't find the damn thing. |
t3_4lb2vh | personalfinance | Buying 1st car from dealer, shopping for best APR | My car is about to die; it's an old car with over 150k miles, it's running on 3 cylinders, lights are flickering, there's no AC, funny noises as I drive and multiple misfires. If I didn't **need** a car where I live I wouldn't be looking but I do need one.
I've read and I've read that it's smart to shop around and get pre-approved for an auto loan before going to the dealership, so that's what I did.
I applied at a couple of places to shop around for a low APR and I've got a couple of offers.
**Now here's the problem...**
On a few of these offers I'm given either a range of what my APR could be, or I'm not given one at all.
How do I go about finding the best loan for me?
I spoke with State Farm, one of the places that approved me, and I was told to simply go to the dealership and tell them that I'm pre-approved with a good APR and they would try to beat it.
But the lady I spoke with is unable to give me the number that they are going to try to beat... | How do I shop around for the best APR without being told what APR I qualified for when you got pre-approved? |
t3_2mohq3 | tifu | TIFU by letting an elderly coworker look at Reddit | So my FU didn't happen today, but today I found out that it was a much bigger issue than I thought.
I work IT for a school district, and about half of the people I work around are old ladies who have worked here since the dust bowl. They give all of us Macbook Pro's and 27" Thunderbolt displays for our work stations. I find that 27" is excessive for one running window, so I will have three windows open at a time adjusted to where all of them will fit.
A while back one of my elderly coworkers had a question, and pulled up right next to me. It took me a minute or two to get logged into the system she was curious about, and I had Reddit open on one of the other two screens, which is normally fine. After a few seconds she lets out dusty old grandma gasp, and I stop typing and look at her. She points at my screen and go's "What on earth is that?!"
She's pointing at a post someone had made titled "TIFU by jerking off into my son's diaper" (thanks to /u/_Foy for finding the actual title). She was shocked and I quickly switched pages. She sat silently and I finished answering her questions.
This brings us to today. We do quarterly reviews, and mine was up. I walk into the big bosses office, and he lets me see my file as always, and today when I opened it up... I saw at the bottom in big red letters "VIOLATION" with a brief description of that fuck up. A red letter means a violation that I can be terminated over. So now if I ever make my boss unhappy, he has what he needs to fire me instantly. | I let my coworker see a random post on my screen titled "TIFU by jerking off into my son's diaper" and she ratted on me... |
t3_1fyaf2 | relationships | My girlfriend [22f] cant talk to me about what shes thinking (in regards to anything), Im [20m] | We have been seeing each other for about 8 months, together for about 3.
The problem is my girlfriend cant open up about anything, it doesnt matter if its simply saying her feelings, or if its about something else. If it can effect us in some way she freezes. Its tearing us apart slowly.
My girlfriend says im the first one she has actually cared for, she has been with someone else a few years ago, but that apparently wasnt serious.
In terms of her showing she loves me, yes she can. To my knowledge she was a virign before us, and weve been there done that. However in terms of being able to kiss her, its only been these past 3 weeks that shes been able to, and even them from time to time she will still freeze. She says she could kiss previous people but with me because she cares she couldn't do it.
She feels she isnt worth the time and says she destructive and always ruins everything, no matter how often i tell her that ive been here since day 1 wanting to be with her, and wont leave, she cant seem to accept that fact.
At the end of the day it comes down to communication, and i know this is the most key thing to a relationship. Even with things such as meeting up, i have to play a game of does she really want to see me or not, and ive recently just said we need to start being black and white with what we want from each other, as when we dont say it clearly it ends up with us both wanting to same thing but due to lack of telling each other we then argue.
What can i do to stop her from freezing, i know trust and communication in relationships takes time to build up, but her not being able to talk to me or her parents about anything important is destroying us.
Help? | Girlfriend freezes when she is thinking about feelings/anything important that could affect us. Whether its saying i love you to me, or talking about meeting up. How can i help this? |
t3_2m1a2w | college | Advice for Choosing a Major? | I'm in my second year of college. I entered as a biochemistry major, and about halfway through the first quarter I realized that wasn't really what I wanted to do. I changed my proposed major to Human Biology. Now here I am, two quarters away from having to declare a major, and I'm extremely on the edge about Human Bio. I'm not passionate about chemistry *at all* anymore. I've done so-so in the general chemistry classes and they're only going to get worse from here on. I haven't even had the chance to take Biology yet, so I don't even know if I'll enjoy it. I'm interested in neuroscience, neuropharmacology, healthcare, psychology, languages, and traveling. I'm all over the board with interests, and completely lost about what major I should pursue.
So, reddit, do you have any advice about choosing a major to stick with?
Are there any science or health careers that I may never have heard of? | I'm looking for a career that combines my interests in neuroscience, neuropharmacology, healthcare, psychology, languages, or traveling. Also, I would love to hear descriptions of uncommon science or health careers. |
t3_qu51z | AskReddit | Moving out. | So reddit, me and my friend have been planning on moving out we're both 19.
His mom is kicking him out for being "controlling", but she's just super lazy.
we both have full-time paying jobs that would support us.
Except my question is more personal. I want to do it because all my life i have never had any privacy in my home. I have always slept in the living room and I have never had an ounce of privacy. I currently go to school part time/year-round, work and rarely get to see my family, and I feel the best thing for me to do is to move out. But the one thing i feel is as if I'm betraying my family; I have three sisters. my mom would freak and tell me that I'm "tearing the family apart", .
I also feel like my parents are trying to keep me as close as possible and it is suffocating me. | I want to move out because ive never had any privacy. Mom would freak. Parents suffocating me with high standards. I feel like I'm betraying my family and sad about the future of my sisters without an older brother. |
t3_33g4db | relationships | Girl [26F] is giving me [26M] signs that she likes me but won't go out with me. | I need help because I'm an idiot who has relied too much on the girl approaching me all my life and it has worked pretty well. At least up until now.
Now that I've run into a girl who is definitely reserved and not the approaching or easy to figure out type, I don't know if her actions say she really likes me even though she won't go out with me. I know, sounds weird but according to everyone else that has seen her act and talk around me, she's into me so I don't get why she won't go out with me. I haven't gotten a solid "no" for the record.
What is she thinking or doing?
I can list the signs if you guys would like and if it helps. Just let me know! | Girl seems to be throwing a lot of signs towards me that she is into me but will not agree to go out with me. Why? |
t3_1ymmro | relationships | I'm [22M] having communication problems with my SO [20F] | My SO and I started dating almost a year ago in late March 2013. We were living in the same place, and we really fell for each other. We spent the month of July apart, almost as a foreshadowing for what would become our relationship. We both moved away to different places in late August, and we've been in a LDR since then.
Things have been going well. We broke up when we moved away, but we got together almost immediately. We've always been great with each other and we really want to make this work. My SO has been studying away and traveling, which has made communication very difficult, not to mention the time difference. This has caused a problem for me because I feel like I'm always available to talk to her, but I don't get that feeling from her.
I understand that she's busy, but sometimes I just feel like she could do more. She always tells me she can't have any privacy because she's traveling with friends, which I understand. It's been really difficult. Some days I just want to ignore her texts to show her what it feels like! But I am aware that is really immature, and I would never do that to her. Right now she's traveling, so I understand where she's coming from. But in a few weeks she'll be home, we'll be in the same time zone, and i'm worried she'll still be flaky with communication.
I feel like she doesn't understand where I'm coming sometimes. I will pull my phone out at work to respond to a text of hers, but I feel like she wouldn't respond to a text of mine if she was even a little busy. I feel like I am doing most of the work to make sure we stay connected and in communication. Am I being too dramatic? What are some things I could do or say that could improve the situation? | I feel like I'm putting all the work in our relationship in terms of communication, and I'm worried this won't change even when she returns home from traveling. |
t3_2580l4 | relationships | My Boyfriend [24] of 6 years has had a real short temper with me [23]? He blames everything on me? | my boyfriend of 6 years has been mad at me for 3 days now over a small issue?I'm 23 and he's 24. He's always had a bit of a short temper but I didn't notice it much until maybe our second year together.
The other day we bought some food and took it to his house. While we were watching TV I asked him if he could turn up the volume. He said OK but doing it he spilled his French fries and that's when it began. He became real angry and said he blames me for this. That if it wasn't for me asking to turn the volume up he wouldn't have spilled anything then when I tried talking to him he told me to get the f*** away from him. :( of course I got sad...while I was at work later that day he texted me "don't f****n bother calling or texting me today and tomorrow" then he kept going on about how what happened is all my fault.
Now he also blocked me from all social networks. I don't get what I did wrong? What do I do now? Its always like this...one moment he's a fun loving man and within seconds he becomes a totally different person.. | I just wanna know why even the smallest things that happen in our relationship are automatically my fault even when I did nothing wrong? EVERYTHING is blamed on me. |
t3_2oitim | relationships | My recent girlfriend [29F] just did something that made me [28M] feel very weird | So, we've been going out for a month, awesome relationship, best sex ever and we talk pretty much everyday on g chat.
It's about **11:40 PM**, I tell her I'll take a shower and be right back. I take the shower, come back and watch the rest of this movie instead of messaging her. She sends me a message at **00:30 AM** saying "Long bath?", I sent her a "lol". Our conversation goes as follows:
**Me**: You okay?
**Her**: I hate when people do this to me, I hate it.
**Me**: Huh?
**Her**: When people don't message me back, I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy.
**Me**: What? I had no idea you get upset if we don't message each other every 5 minutes.
**Her**: If you're busy say you're busy, don't leave me waiting.
**Me**: I'm sorry, I don't have the phone glued to my hand to message you all the time. It's not going to happen again.
**Her**: It's the one absolute thing I despise.
**Me**: Don't you think you're over reacting a little?
After a minute
**Her**: Ok, what happened happened, I'm over that.
Is this a red flag? How can someone get so upset because I took an hour to reply? **And this is the SECOND time this happened. | My girlfriend got angry because I took about an hour to get back to her, wondering if she's crazy or something. |
t3_f8hzo | relationships | Dating for a few months, things are going GREAT... I want my ex back. | My ex and I have dated on and off for 4ish years at this point. Mid twenties, lots of history and at this point lots of baggage. She and I have been through a lot, and broke up a couple months ago. For real this time... so I thought.
I started dating shortly after the breakup, and met a wonderful girl, also mid 20's, beautiful, smart, driven, fun. She's well spoken, and worldly. You know... pretty ideal.
A couple months in, I'm having nightmares about my ex. Things that leave me grasping my chest in horror when I wake up. Things that give me a general sense of dread that something really bad has happened to her, and it dawns on me... I want her back... again...
What the hell am I supposed to do? I've got a great relationship budding with a fantastic woman, and I've got a nagging in my heart that tells me to cut & run, head back for the security of my ex. | I got 99 problems, and a bitch is 2. (actually, they're both fine women, bitch is only used in reference to a "popular music" song.) |
t3_1622kh | relationships | I [27M] am feeling worse than expected after wife of 7 years has first open relationship encounter | Our bedroom has been cold over the past year (due in part to my anxiety meds, busy schedule). We both love each other very much and have a great relationship (other than the lack of sex). She has been talking about "opening" up for awhile and I finally gave in. Sex is a pretty big physical need for her and there was an opportunity for her to have sex. With concerns that the opportunity wouldn't last forever, I agreed to allow her to have sex with him before I was 100% okay with us being open. She had sex with my permission and now I'm feeling very sad and I'm not sure why. I know it's just sex, but I feel crushed. Any advice, encouragement, similar experiences, or help explaining this sadness will be greatly appreciated. | Thought I was okay with open marriage, hurt after wife had sex. Is this normal/what should I do now? |
t3_3je8ju | relationships | Me [17 M] falling in love with my best friend [17F] when she has a boyfriend [17M] | Hey /r/relationships.
I'm tagging this with the Relationship flair because I'm generally unsure where it should go...
A little bit of backstory before we begin.
Last year I met the girl mentioned in the title for the first time when I joined a new friendship group, and we quickly developed a really strong friendship - to the point where we chat almost every day, share personal issues, generally what best friends do etc.
Her and my other friend started dating just after Christmas and they've been going through lots of rough patches. Her boyfriend/my friend (not really..) is generally a jerk - he's someone whose toyed with girls in the past, cheated in almost every relationship, and is basically an asshole to most people.
I'm always the one supporting my best friend, consoling her etc. whenever he does anything wrong. Up until a month ago, I didn't have romantic feelings for her...but now I can feel something there.
I feel really guilty. Despite not liking her boyfriend, I don't want to mess up her relationship and ruin our friendship. I'd rather stay friends but I can't help my feelings...
I honestly don't know what to do. Should I say something to her? Should I keep quiet? Please help.. | Developing feelings for my girl best friend when she already has a (asshole) boyfriend. Don't know what to do, need advice! |
t3_px2jt | relationships | Need some advice. Didn't exactly catch him cheating but not that far off | Both mid twenties, six month relationship still [f]airly new. So We don't get to see other to terribly much. Maybe once a week. Usually everything is great. We don't argue too much, have the same interests and usually communicate like champs.
This weekend we were suppose to go out drinking in his hometown with his friends (which I haven't met) and spend the following day together. This is a rare occurance so naturally I'm psyched.
He text me that morning asking if its ok if he goes solo with his friends. That wasn't an issue with me. He goes out, texts me through the night with the usual, I wish I was coming home to u in my bed, that kind of thing. All was well.
Fast forward to today, I met up with some friends for lunch and its the usual girl talk. But then the conversation changes to a certain someone she met from said bar. She doesn't realize the guy shes telling me about is my boyfriend and neither did I until all the details came out.
Apparently she spent most of the night flirting and dancing with this cool guy she met. She said they never kissed or anything overly inappropriate, But they did exchange number and after she left he sent he a message saying " Cant wait until we can do that again ;) "
Now we have had the talk previously and agreed that we are exclusive and all that good stuff. So my question is, How big of a red flag should I take this as? I haven't talked to him about it yet, I know I need to, just kind of need to get some clarity on what exactly he has done wrong. | boyfriend cancels plans to drink with me, drinks with the guys instead. Unknowingly flirts and exchanges number and some messages with my close friend. What to do r/relationships |
t3_26rgy3 | relationship_advice | [m22] I'm really emotionally dependent on my girlfriend [22] | We have been together for over 2 years; we met in college and we just graduated. She has had some previous relationships, but this is my first one. Over the course of our relationship, we've had to be long-distance on a few occasions: the first summer break after we started off, when she studied abroad last spring, and a few short periods here and there. Whenever she's gone, even for a week or so, I get really depressed, while she isn't really bothered by it.
Also, I find that I crave interaction with her even while we're living together. She's very introverted, appreciates her time alone, and finds it exhausting to interact with others for an extended amount of time, while I am very extroverted and find it maddening to sit by myself without any interaction. For that matter, since we've graduated, we've pretty much been living together without any friends nearby, although my mother lives half an hour away and seems about as desperate to spend time with me as I am to spend time with my girlfriend.
I also have an obsessive/addictive personality; if I start doing something that piques my interest, like a certain game or t.v. series, I will become obsessed and do it whenever I can. I think I am obsessed with my girlfriend, although r/relationship_advice probably isn't the place to directly address my obsessive personality and I will probably post on some psychology-related sub and eventually see a psychologist.
Anyway, I love my girlfriend and I know that I owe it to her to be able to function independently and not fall apart without her. I wish there was a switch I could flip to just turn it off; it's so frustrating that I know exactly what I need to do but can't seem to be able to do it without feeling depressed, and another source of stress and embarassment for me is simply how immature and childish I feel knowing this is even an issue, especially reading this post over again.
I would appreciate any sensitive advice anyone might have, although I've already put myself down enough so I don't need help in that department, if you catch my drift. | I get depressed when my gf and I are apart and want interaction with her much more often than she does. I may be obsessed with her. I want advice on how to be more independent. |
t3_3wa07l | Advice | Neighbor dogs: Sad life, borderline neglect. What to do? | My next-door neighbors keep their two dogs in a state of borderline neglect. They have food and water, sleep indoors, and are allowed briefly into the small backyard twice a day. But the large and energetic dogs (mixed retrievers) almost never leave the property, are untrained, and spend most of their lives alone in one small room.
A few times they've asked me to watch their dogs for the weekend. I've always said yes, otherwise kept my mouth shut, and been sure to walk them for some real exercise and stimulation. I think that's the best I can do for the dogs -- there's no chance animal control will intervene, and little chance I can change my neighbors' behavior.
But. I also worry that my help enables my neighbors to keep dogs they shouldn't have. And I wonder whether I have a moral obligation to say something, even if I believe doing so will have no effect.
**Other details, possibly relevant:**
* For a while, they engaged a professional dog-walker/sitter, but she objected to the dogs' living conditions, told them so, and quit. So did a neighbor who preceded me as fallback dog sitter.
* I suggested kenneling for vacations, but they said it's too expensive.
* Our children are similar ages and will be in school together for many years. My kids love walking their dogs but will be too little to do it themselves for a few more years.
* The dogs, predictably, are nervous wrecks who jump and bark incessantly during their brief trips outside. Most of the neighborhood hates them, although I do not. | My neighbor dogs have a sad life, though there's nothing to report to animal control. Should I keep dogsitting? Should I say something and, if so, what? What else should I do, if anything? |
t3_2hoc3x | relationships | Me [24 F] with my ex [34 M] 1 year, It's his birthday today | I'm just looking for support. About 6 months ago, my dbf of a year broke up with me 4 days after me supporting him through rehab. He wanted to be friends for awhile, and I asked to not hear from him for a few months, because quite honestly I couldn't stand to see him happy at my expense.
Today's his birthday. The sadist in my head had me look at his facebook, and I realized he hid everything he could, which means he's probably dating someone and changed his picture to the two of them. I feel so empty inside, only filled with a dull burning. On some level, I hoped he was miserable without me, and I was using the possibility of getting back together (even if I probably wouldn't do it), to use as a band-aid in my own head.
I hate that his sobriety came at the cost of my depression. | Alcoholic ex's birthday, pretty sure he's got a gf and it hurts. Looking for support, thanks. |
t3_50ll8o | relationships | I (m/19) am falling in love with a girl (f/26) should I go for it? | So there is this girl that I am crazy about. Her name is Courtney and I met her a little over 2 years ago. From the moment I first saw her I was...mesmerized. We went on a "date" this past Valentine's Day but it was just as friends. The big thing is, she is 7 years older than me and she also has a son, Braxton. He is 1 almost 2 years old.
I guess my big question is...is that weird that neither of those things bother me at all?? Now obviously I'm not ready to be a dad yet but I'm 2-3 years time I'm sure I'll be ready! we made a deal that night that once I turned 20 I could take her on a real date. My biggest fear is that i could be falling in love with her just for it to end badly for me...in fact, I know I'm falling in love with her. So what should I do??? Cause I'm lost and blinded. | I'm in love with a girl who is 7 years older than me and has a 1 almost 2 year old son. Neither of those things bother me, so if I'm in love with her should I go for it? |
t3_3guif3 | relationships | My [28M] cousin's [14F] mom [45+F] got arrested. The rest of the family are useless. How should I help my cousin? | I left my hometown 6 years ago, went to live in another country and kept hardly any contact with my family. I have a shitty income for local standards ($39k/yr) but that's ten times more than the average in my hometown.
I have a cousin [14F] who liked me a lot when she was growing up, and she is a very smart and diligent girl, studying foreign languages and lots of other stuff.
Her mom was arrested this Monday because of her connection to a disgraced local politician's business (I don't know any other details). Given the acquittal rate of 0.4% in that country, it's unlikely that she is going out anywhere in the next 3-5 years.
Her dad is lazy and can't hold a real job. The other relatives are my elderly grandma who may soon start needing care, and my ethanol-addicted mom.
They will likely need to sell their apartment and car and also have a mountain of consumer debt and mortgages that they were able to repay thanks to her mom's good job, but now won't be able to.
**What are some ways to help my cousin?** Ideas that I had:
* Start saving for her college;
* Start regularly talking to her online to help her cope with her mom's troubles and possible teenage issues;
* Arrange her to move to my current country (but that means leaving friends and starting in an unfamiliar environment) to live with me and my wife and shield her from the shit at home.
I am going there in two weeks for a very short time (a brief stopover between my flights) so I might be able to quickly see her for like half an hour.
I just want to shield her from trauma and make sure she can have education and start a career and live a normal life. | 14F cousin's mom going to prison, I live in another country, what can I do to help her have a normal life? |
t3_dlq32 | AskReddit | How do you deal with a vegan/food fundamentalist who acts like a religious fanatic? | I have been a long time lurker of reddit and just recently created an account, any help i could get on this subject would be amazing. I work with a group of girls at a restaurant that are hardcore vegan and astrologist. Although they agree that spaghetti monsters and all other religions are a fallacy, they swear by the astrology symbols and what it tells them.
The astrology argument doesn't bother me too much because I just don't care but when they talk about food i feel as though i am at a westboro baptist church rally against gays.
The problem is not just that they argue about meat; they argue about everything, like whats in tap and bottled water and how detrimental it is to your body, how non organic vegetables and fruit have steroids in them that will give you brain cancer, horse hooves in red wine and everything else you could possible think of.
Every time I talk with them i find out that i am eating something that will kill me. Does anyone have good arguments to falsify some of these claims or have experience dealing with people like this? | My coworkers believe that all food and drink corporations create products that are harmful and will kill you. Do you have any tips on debating or arguing against someone like this? |
t3_ubzil | AskReddit | An off duty cop just gave me the finger LOL. What are some of your funny stories with cops, off duty or otherwise? | Okay, so I was driving home from getting some delicious donuts for me and my girlfriend this morning when the car ahead of me started braking a lot. I was already going about 50 in a 45, so I decided to get into the right lane and I noticed a small jeep zooming, and I mean like 70 mph at least, up in the that lane, so I overtook the Jeep (with adequate room for the jeep to drive freely, he would just have to slow down a little) and the car that was once ahead of me. All was good until I got to a stop light and the jeep pulled up to the turn lane next to me and I hear honking and I look over and the driver and the passenger of the Jeep are giving me the finger (Obviously I wouldn't dare think that a cop would do this and why should I, he doesn't look like a cop and he's not in a cop car). I'm laughing hard at this point, I mean I can't sing my songs on the radio I'm laughing so hard. So no fucks given at this point, but he keeps honking so I give him my attention again and now hes gesturing for me to roll down my window and so I do, he shows me a badge like it's supposed to scare me, I almost piss my pants laughing when I tell him he was well over the speed limit and that he has no right telling me anything about speeding, he just tells me "uhh, that's not the point son". I lol'd hard and drove away.
Lol I love stupid PEOPLE, I respect police officers, but you just have to love stupid people. | An off duty cop showed me his badge to intimidate me because I cut in front of him to get around a Slowy-Joey, he was speeding. I lol'd. |
t3_3d1iqq | tifu | TIFU by watching Inside Out | Okay, this was last night. But it's within 24 hours! It counts..
For those of you who haven't seen Inside Out yet, I'll try not to spoil anything.
So my boyfriend and I went out to see the movie last night. I've been in a relatively bad mood lately. For no particular reason. School is getting to me, and work is getting to me, and I'm a dumb hormonal woman. So he thought, "Hey, let's go see that movie she's been wanting to see!"
It ruined me. I sat there, in the dark theater, and cried. He knew (I tried to hide it, but I cant) and he just kind of rubbed my back. I wasn't the only one crying, the group of girls next to me cried too, however I sat there and sobbed until the movie ended. There are several reasons it got to me so much, but it did. The movie ends, and in between sobs I tell my boyfriend that it was a great movie. It was! I recommend!
While in the car, I tried to get myself under control. I was thinking about the movie, and thought about the core memory in the background that was green and purple. I thought, "when would fear and disgust ever be together like that?"
I saw a spider. On the inside of the car, along the top of the door near the window.
I unbuckled my seatbelt, and leaned WAAAY over to my boyfriend. I have no escape. And what does my lovely, handsome, considerate boyfriend do? He rolls down the window. While we are going 45 mph. The spider comes flying right at me.
I scream. Start slapping EVERYTHING AROUND ME, including myself, and launch myself into the backseat. Still slapping myself. And I start sobbing uncontrollably. I'm hyperventilating, slapping myself, and sobbing uncontrollably.
Turns out I killed it. It was a wolf spider the size of my thumb nail. I squished it to death. Before I launched myself into the backseat..
. | Watched Inside Out, and left an emotional wreck. A spider flung it's dirty self on me while I was trying to get ahold of myself. I learned when fear and disgust mingle together. |
t3_3esnni | tifu | TIFU by getting a midnight snack | So, like a lot of other fuck ups, this did not happen today.
A couple years ago I was a really bad sleep walker. Countless times my mom would encounter me strolling through the house, mumbling about cheesecake or how I really wanted to piss on the stairs. Generally my mom would either direct me to the bathroom, talk to me (because apparently I could somewhat hold a conversation), or just send me straight to bed.
So one night, I ended up sleepwalking much later than I usually do. My parents had gone to sleep, and the house was completely pitch black. In my completely unconscious state I walked downstairs turning on all the lights I could find, trying to find my way to the kitchen. Now that my sleeping self could now see, I decided that a midnight snack would be phenomenal. Grabbing a bagel I stumbled into the living room and somehow managed to turn on the tv.
Now this was the worst part for me. My last memory was me comfortably falling asleep in my bed, thinking about megan fox and super smash bros. I woke up from my deep sleep sitting on the couch, watching a financial program with half a bagel stuffed in my mouth. In my confusion I ran upstairs, forgetting to undo anything that my sleepwalking-self had done. Completely confused I went to bed, contemplating that all of this had been a bad dream.
4 hours later I got up from my confused slumber and walked downstairs, ready to enjoy a bowl of frosted flakes (they really are grrrreat). I walked into the living room to find my parents in a complete state of panic and confusion. My parents had gotten up to find that all of the lights were on, the tv was playing a bad infomercial ( the cats had somehow been let out of the basement, and a soggy half eaten bagel was chilling on the couch. The two of them though that someone had broken into their house, and had decided to randomly cause all this chaos, worried about what else could have happened.
I told them what I woke up to and a feeling of relief washed over my parents faces. Thankfully it was their nut-case kid, and not some burglar enjoying the splendours of their house at 3 in the morning. | I freaked out my parents by turning on all the lights, watching tv, and eating a bagel while sleepwalking. |
t3_i6n0v | books | How did you feel about 'Neuromancer'? | Neuromancer is a sci-fi classic and highly regarded, but many reviews say, and I agree, that it requires patience to get through. The top comment on Amazon says that reader put it down after the first chapter. I trudged through it at a rate of a few pages a day before just saying, Fuck it, I'll read it quickly or not at all. It took me two nights to read it the second time around. Overall it's a great story, and clearly a source of inspiration for *The Matrix*, a movie that was released sixteen years later. I'd describe it as a mix of that and *Blade Runner*, and hints once or twice at themes that were explored in *Inception*, even. It seems quite ahead of its time for 1983, portraying computer technology that still seems futuristic 30 years later, at a time when this technology barely existed.
However, the book is clumsily written, over relies on adjectives, jumps between settings and under-developed characters with little warning. It could be a legendary book in the hands of a more capable author, IMO. But overall, although I felt moderately satisfied with the ending, it wasn't an enjoyable read, even I daresay irritating at times. | Neuromancer is a visionary sci-fi book, lavished with praise, but written weakly, and occasionally unsatisfying. Do you think it deserves its reputation? How did you like it? |
t3_267m2q | relationships | I [25/F] cheated on SO [30/M] | I'm really not sure what to do. Six months ago during a particularly bad fight with my SO he told me that I should leave for a bit (implied that I should go visit my parents) to let him cool down.
I went out that way and was planning on seeing a movie so I didn't have to admit what was wrong and just act like I came out. Ended up missing the start of the movie and ran in to a friend. Went back to his house to just chill out and mentioned that things may be off.
One thing lead to another and we ended up getting in to bed. I ended it kind of abruptly because I felt awful about what I was doing. Spent a few days at my parents' and after a few phone calls we made up and I went back to SO's apartment.
I've been thinking about telling him for a while but I don't want to lose the relationship. I feel horrible about that I've done and I would definitely not repeat the experience again.
I guess what's really muddying the waters for me is that we're pretty sexually open and have had thirds (usually females) in bed with us and I don't really mind sharing as long as I know about it first. I think if I had asked first it would have been fine. But I didn't.
I feel like the only reason I want to come clean is alleviate my conscience. It won't do anything for him except maybe decide he wants to move on and make him feel shitty about himself.
In the six months since this has happened we have actively worked on our issues and the relationship is in a drastically better place that it was leading up to my cheating, except for my deceit.
I have also quit talking to said friend. I figured that's the least I could do. | Had a particularly bad fight with fiance, he told me to leave. Went to a friend's house to cool down, cheated. |
t3_20etbe | relationships | My friend [30 M] cooked dinner for me [24 F] at his house? Does it mean anything? | This friend of mine has cooked dinner twice for me at his house. He's good at cooking so I'm not sure it means anything. In both instances, he made Italian - my favorite - and served wine. Though he was curious about my love life and told me he's still single when I threw the question back at him, he didn't tell me he liked me or anything. At the end of it all, he'd give me a hug.
Now he's invited me over for a third time where he'll be cooking and said we could also make tiramisu together (because I jokingly complained there was no dessert last time). I don't know what's going on...do guys do this sort of thing with their female friends or does he want to be more than that? | Older guy friend keeps cooking dinners for me at his house, but hasn't said outright that he likes me. Help? |
t3_4issn4 | relationships | Me [22F] with my bf [24] of almost 2 years, am I in the wrong here? | To give a little backstory, I have been with him for almost 2 years now. We both work full time jobs and while my job is not a breeze, his is more physcially demanding. We have always put off doing housework and have argued about it. After one argument he told me that "he doesn't understand why his girlfriend will not help him with something that ever other girl would do." So feeling guilty I began doing the chores. I do laundry, dishes, and clean the house. Occasionally he will pick up the living room and he takes the trash out.
The disagreement today was about phone calls. I had to call one of our service providers and I got irritated that I'm always the one who has to handle everything. My step-dad has always put eveything on my mom and I to deal with like to make phone calls and to go in and talk with people instead of my step-dad going in. He actually almost went to jail because he didn't want to deal with a fine; until my mom handled it.
I told my bf that I won't be doing that for him.
He said that he does not like talking on the phone because he can't hear what they're saying and he usually just agrees with what they're saying without understanding. And when he does understand what they are saying, once they hang up he can't retain what they said.
He got angry and told me that he isn't my step-dad and that he isn't doing the same things my step-dad did.
I get what he is saying, I do, but I remember what it was like having to deal with my step-dad and I can't do that with my bf.
Now he is giving me the cold sholder and I'm starting to question if I'm in the wrong and over-reacting. Any advice? | bf doesn't like talking on the phone. I won't make calls for him and he is mad at me. |
t3_1nyb1z | relationship_advice | Is it creepy for me [F23] to reach out to a hot guy [M??] I saw on ladybonersgw who's in my area? | So I was looking around /r/ladybonersgw today for shits, and ran across this INSANELY hot guy. Out of curiosity, I stalked his post and comment history, and saw he's in my city and located VERY close to me. Would it be creepy or weird to send him a message? If anyone here has posted to that sub, would you find it weird? What are your thoughts?
I wouldn't necessarily want to pursue anything emotional or sexual irl, I'd purely just want to talk to him online since he's superfine, buuut if it leads to something irl I wouldn't be opposed. | Is reaching out to a hot dude from /r/ladybonersgw in my area purely for fun creepy? |
t3_ccslb | AskReddit | My crazy cheating ex tried to shoot herself with my gun. How close have you come to being screwed by someone else's actions? | Let me tell you my story...
About a year or so ago, I found out that my wife (ex-wife now) was having an affair. I called her at work and insisted that she meet me at our home. After trying to get her to admit what was going on, I eventually told her that I knew everything and presented her with the evidence (photos of her in various states of undress, emails, etc).
After that, she reluctantly admitted to it, and became hysterical. She begged me not to leave her and to forgive her. I was so shocked by everything that I left the room. The next thing I know, she runs to my office and locks the door. She's screaming that she's going to shoot herself with my gun that's in there with her.
I soon realize that I've left my range bag next to my desk with a number of handguns and plenty of ammo. The next few moments are a bit of a blur, but I get this sudden realization that this is all going to turn out badly if I don't act immediately.
I run to the office door and shoulder the door open to find her putting the magazine into one of the handguns. I force the gun from her hands and rush the other guns out of the room.
Fast forward to present day... holy shit! What would have happened if she had actually shot herself?? I've seen enough crime dramas to know that in my situation, I would be the primary suspect. I had motive (the affair), the opportunity (home alone with her), and the means (the handguns which are registered to me). The forensic evidence would have hopefully told the true story, but it would have still been hell.
Am I just being paranoid or was I seconds away from being totally screwed by this woman's insanity? | My ex-wife tried to shoot herself with my gun after I found out about her affair. I'm only now realizing how screwed I could have been by that. |
t3_1k2h2o | dating_advice | M21 me F20 her. 1st date. I have a few fears. | I've never had a relationship before. The other day I had a date and she stayed at my place and the next day we had sex, cuddled and watched a movie.
She emphasised many times how fun the date was, and also said the sex was good. She also hinted at future dates and sexual experiences we could have.
She's an avid texter and is into social networking.
I emphasised often my lack of enthusiasm and worry I have in texting.
This leads to her not texting me, and for some reason I'm worried :s even though that's what I asked for.
We arranged our next meet up as 'soon' and said we'd call each other.
Now considering everything that went well I'm still worried that I won't get called back... I've never been in a relationship and I get really emotionally attached early which has scared girls away in the past, this is to be avoided at all costs but I can feel it coming, now I'm scared to make another move on fear of giving that impression. I used to be that hopeless guy who would fall in love before anything really happened.
How soon should I call her to arrange a date? Or should I rest assured that she'll call me? I want a meet up and I have some ideas on what we can do, so should I just call?
I'm also worried that she'll lose interest because she's not avidly texting me like she is other people. Is she just respecting my boundary?
Should I be worried of anything? I keep thinking she's gunna forget me. Its not that its painful its more that I really want something to happen this time. I'm worried, despite everything we've done, which isn't much, but more than I've done with most previous girls. | Afraid of becoming too attached at the very early stages and of being perceived as so. Also afraid my boundaries are too much. Also afraid she won't call me back. How often should we be in contact? |
t3_2r9m64 | relationship_advice | Am I [28/M] being petty? | I went to a wedding a bit ago and danced with this girl. We had a good time; she was cute, we both liked to dance and we both liked to sing 80s songs at the top of our throats like a couple of morons. I was planning on conversing with her more, but she had to suddenly leave because her friend wished to go, and the girl I was dancing with was DD. I didn't argue, as I thought it was cool of her to DD someone, but I forgot to ask for her number since it was so sudden. I told my buddy's now-wife about it (the one who was getting married), who knew the girl, and she came back recently with the girl's number, saying the girl offered it up and wants me to call.
Now normally I'd just call and wouldn't even be here, but my friend's wife mentioned that this girl has a six-year-old kid. She's 28 as well, so that's probably to be expected at our age, but it still gives me pause since I don't have a kid myself. I thought we got along well and definitely want to call, but this one angle makes me hesitate. Amy I being shallow or petty about this? Am I overthinking it? | Got this girl's number at a wedding, she's cool and attractive and normally I'd call, but she has a kid which has me hesitating. Am I petty? |
t3_2u7pgi | relationships | Is it too early for me [19M] to ask girl [18F] to be my girlfriend? | I've been talking to and skype video chatting this girl I met on OkCupid for about three months and we've been exclusive and haven't talk to any other people.
We've only went on three dates due to her controlling mother but all three dates were very intimate and fun.
Thanks to our compatible interest and personality we quickly became comfortable and attached to each other.
Maybe it's because of our young age that we got attached too quickly but we really do fancy each other.
I was thinking of asking her to officially be my girlfriend on Valentine's day, seeing that we're exclusively talking to each other anyways.
All my past girlfriends were originally friends at first so I had longer time to get to know them, making this feels kind of quick..
Do you think it's too soon? Should there even be a time requirement to make her your girlfriend? | Been talking/skyping girl for three months, only went on three dates but we really like each other. Is it too early to ask her to be my girlfriend on Valentine's day? |
t3_3dk8fr | relationships | Me [27M] and my gf [27F] fought earlier in the week. Still feeling weird about it and having insecure thoughts. What is this??? | Me and my gf got into a pretty short but angry argument on monday and it resulted in the typical "don't talk to me much" kind of day the next day. She seemed to be over it after she saw the flowers and note I left her apologizing for my temper. We kinda got into again the next day, it just seems like we're both on edge. Nothing crazy, just a short argument. But for some reason I can't shake this bad feeling I have this time. I feel like she loves me less, as corny and lame as that sounds.
She kissed me goodbye this morning and was nice, and I *think* she was making out with me trying to wake me up for sex last night (not sure, i was half asleep lol). She's texted me and talked to me today but for SOME reason I feel like she's still a little upset and it's killing me. I don't know why this is causing me to feel so much dread. I've had a lot of insecurity in my life, but lately i've been feeling pretty great about everything I don't understand why I feel like she's suddenly less into me and is just playing nice.
What's up with this feeling? I don't wanna tell her I'm feeling like a hurt puppy, I don't wanna be needy but I feel like I need some extra attention or something to make up for fighting for a few days? | = GF and I fought on Monday, another small one tuesday. She's acting okay but I have inexplicable feelings of dread and feel like she's less in love with me? What is this insecurity coming from? |
t3_1qew30 | relationships | Me [23F] with my bf [25M] of 5 months, his ex shit-talks about me. | Hey there, I just need unbiased opinion about my situation. I got into an agrument with my boyfriend because I caught him in a lie. We were supposed to go to his friend's birthday party, but he told me that he changed his mind because he wasn't sure if his ex was going to the party. I asked him on chat if she still has feeligs for him because I found it extremely odd she would randomly pick a fight with him through gchat. He told me "no, I don't think so; she currently has a boyfriend."
A couple days later, my bf brings up the current drama with his ex, saying that she was talking shit about him to their mutual friends. I asked him again if he thought she still has feelings for him, and he says, "Yes. Didn't I tell you that?" That's where I became upset. We didn't talk about this until today because I didn't want my thoughts to be clouded by the anger.
I don't like how he lied to me about her feelings for him. I told him it was extremely disrespectful that he communicates with an ex that says mean things about me. He told me that he's not going to communicate with her for now if she acts like this.
I don't understand why he just can't let go. I told him that there should be no reason why ex's should still communicate with each other. I can understand if the relationship ended because of sexual incompatibility (sex died) or if they were friends before the relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me that he still deals with her.
He told me that the reason why he lied was because he thinks I get jealous easily. He's right about that I will admit but it's only when it deals with ex-lovers.
I know I feel jealousy but I can't tell what the boundaries should be anymore. I just feel really hurt and honestly, I'm not sure if I can trust him if I knew he's in contact with so many exs (another issue but I don't think it's that big of a deal).
Am I being unreasonable with my anger? | Boyfriend's ex still contacts him and says mean shit to him and about me once she saw a photo of us. |
t3_2s3ayw | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20F] have been together 6 months, but my feelings toward her are fading. I have been thinking about breaking things off but I do not want to hurt her. | Michelle and I have known to each other for over a year, dating for about 9 months, and exclusive for almost 6. I truly do love her and care about her deeply, but recently I have started to not like her as much as I used to. I am beginning to feel like I have to put on a 'mask' around her because I dont want her to think any thing is wrong.
The problem is, there isn't really a specific reason or event that is making me feel this way. I suppose it is just time. But I do not know what to say to her, because as soon as I even begin to mention these feelings, irreversible damage will be done to our relationship.
The worst part is, if I broke up with her and explained how I felt to her, she would have know idea this was coming and be absolutely heartbroken... I do not want to hurt her and I know breaking up with her will.
I suppose I am just looking for advice or for someone to share a similar experience. Thanks in advance | Have been with my girlfriend for 6 months, but my feelings for her seem to fleeting. Don't know what to do, and I don't want to break up with her because of the sadness that will create. |
t3_48asy0 | relationships | My [24 F] bf [26 M] told me he doesn't know if he can marry me because of my past | The title pretty much says it all. My boyfriend and I had an argument the other day where the topic of "reservations" got brought up.
When I asked him what his reservations were, one of the things he said was "I don't know if I can say 'I Do' to someone who's hooked up with one of my friends".
Yes, I have hooked up with one of his friends way before I even really knew him or started talking to him. There was another girl involved. Not the best point in my life, but I was definitely in a rough place at the time.
Of course they are mutual friends, so he told my bf right after it happened. This has been something he's known about before we started dating.
Last night he told me that in a couple of years, if that still bothers him as much as it does now that he doesn't think he'll be able to marry me.
I thank him for being so honest and upfront about this, but at the same time it really hurts. It also makes me feel insecure about our relationship.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm faced with the decision of ending things now or waiting to see if this is something that subsides as time goes on.
But then if he can't get over it, I'm wasting time while there is someone else out there who will want to marry me. | bf doesn't know if he can marry me because of my past. I don't know what my next step should be |
t3_14rlaw | relationships | Reddit, should I be worried for my safety? | Some background info: my ex [23m] and I [20f] Dated for little less than 2 years with break ups in between and hooking up after breaking up. We had plenty of problems related to jealousy, bad communication, and refusal to compromise. I know I did the right thing by ending it but stupidly continued having sex with him a while after we broke up. I haven't seen him in over a month. During this time, he's been trying to get me back, calling, emailing, texting, etc. He goes back and forth between wanting me and trying to forget me. I told him I'm ok with being friends if he can handle it but nothing more. Things were looking up when he blocked me. Meanwhile I want to date and get on with my life. Recently, he unblocked me and told me there's no use being mad about something he can't change and that he just wanted to be on good terms. I took that as he was giving up and wouldn't bother me with dating anymore.
Today, an hour before I had to leave for class, I hear a knock at my door. Sometimes my neighbors need to tell me something so I didn't think much of it and opened the door. There was my ex, who I hadn't seen in weeks, holding flowers and an envelope asking to come in. I refused to let him in but agreed to talk outside. He wrote me a letter to read later. He tried winning me back again and again I told him it's not happening. This took at least 40 mins until I finally had to leave. He didn't seem dangerous but I have no idea how he would have acted had I let him inside. Clearly he wasn't thinking straight if he thought this was appropriate after the thousand times I told him no. he tried to convince me he changed and I wasn't having it. Later on, he was pissed that I was creeped out by his visit. So he ended up sending me pics of myself and talking about how naughty he is...one picture was of me sleeping in his bed. I'm a little freaked out and I'm praying he doesn't visit again. God forbid I have a date over when he drops by. Should I be worried or hope that this was the closure he needed? | Ex bf [23m] shows up at my p20f] apartment unannounced with flowers and a note saying to give him another chance. Should I be as creeped out as I am about this? |
t3_39jgrq | relationships | [19F] and [24M] of one year. He said "you should be lucky I even give you the time of day." | While working out bf won't stop commenting on my form while planking. My arms are spread shoulder length apart, legs straight and my I'm on my toes. My fingers were intertwined unlike his which were just parallel to him. That was there I was completely and totally wrong. My arms should have been parallel too but instead I was holding my hands together, doing pretty much exactly what he's doing. I'm keeping my back as flat as possible, trying to keep my core tight, and all he's doing is telling me how wrong I'm doing it and how my form is all wrong because of my arms not being parallel and this was how HE was taught in every gym class ever. It's the first time I've done planks since I played rugby but I especially don't need someone telling me I should do "girl planks like in high school" when I'm trying my best and I know I was doing them the best I could. I told him to shut up and to focus on himself and to please let me just try to do this. He won't stop telling how he's just trying to help and that he know how to do it and that I should be grateful. I said I was done and I wanted to go run. He gives me my stuff because he had pockets and he says "you should be lucky I even give you the time of day". He did weights, I ran, and we left before I was even finished. We live together, have a cat. wtf do I do. he has a very 'type A' mentality while I have a ton of anxiety and just want to try things and have encouragement before being put down and constantly critiqued. Will he ever stop trying to improve everything including me? Ugh | live in bf of a year said I should be lucky he even gives me the time of day because of my planking form?? |
t3_nanfb | AskReddit | Not sure what to do next with g/f of 7 years. | Hello Reddit, I've been with my on/off g/f for the past 7 years. I'm 21 years old and so is she. We've had a pretty troubled relationship. It seems like every 8-9 month we break up due to one issue or another. I should mention for the past 3 1/2 years its been a long distance relationship only while she's away at school, but we still get to see each other about once every other week.
We've broken up for different issues, some to do with me, but mostly on her end. She always either stops being happy or starts to have feelings for one of her friends while she's away. These breakups generally would range from a few weeks to a few months. She tells me she never acted on any of feelings towards anyone during that time.
Every time we get back together she tells me this is it, no more heartbreak. I always take her back because I trust her. I don't want to paint the picture that she's a horrible person because she's great.
This brings me to where I am now. Things were going fine until I met someone who made me rethink what I have. This new girl and I get along extremely well. I know the feelings are mutual. I honestly know I love my g/f, I just don't know if its fair to me to keep up with this cycle. I really want to believe this time is it, but I'm no more sure about it than I've been in the past (which have failed).
I'm scared because I don't know if I should continue what I have with my g/f or if I should try to start fresh and hope for the best. I'm really stuck here and I'd appreciate any advice/comments. Thank you for reading/replying. | Met someone new while with my on/off g/f of 7 years who seems to not be able to stay committed for too long at a time. |
t3_wjoui | relationship_advice | [18/M] Want to date this girl [18/F] | I'm really good friends with this girl and i have been for 2 years now. I've tried asking her out before (about a year ago) and she said no but we still stayed good friends. She just got out of bad relationship that lasted a year and ended with the guy cheating on her. Now then the problem I face is that I want to try asking her out again but I'm not sure what she'll say and I don't really handle rejection very well. Shes been talking about how now shes only going to look for a specific kind of guy and her description fits my personality. Also a lot of our mutual friends have talked to her about us dating and they all say she hasn't specifically say she wouldn't date me but she hasn't said she will date me. I'm a little worried that if she says no that it could potentially hurt our friendship. A friendship I really don't want to lose because she's one of my extremely close friends and with her recent breakup (about 3 weeks ago but didn't find out about the cheating till last week) shes very emotional and has started not trusting people even more(I'm one of the few people she still trusts). | I want to ask a girl out that I've asked out before and she said no the first time and I don't want to lose her as an extremely good friend. |
t3_mc7qz | AskReddit | Why can my University force me to have health insurance, but my government cannot? | I attend a rather large University in the U.S. I had active health coverage up until the end of July (the health coverage was through my state) when it expired.
Now my University is requiring me to pay $950 for student healthcare coverage for this semester (that's a LOT of money...I was paying significantly less than $100 monthly for coverage through my state). To be entirely honest, I don't have that kind of money. I am a graduate student who works as a TA for five hours a week and at a large company (doing science-y stuff, yay!) for at most twenty hours a week. I don't have the money to live on my own (my money pays for tuition, auto insurance, and gas to drive to work) so I live with my parents.
Why is it that I MUST pay this $950? I don't mean to come off as anti-establishment or anything. I am, in general, supportive of the idea of universal health care in the United States but I am beginning to understand why people make a big deal out of being required the have insurance. I am an extremely healthy individual and I will NEVER use the service. In fact, I was just charged this in the last week. I have about a month left in my semester so there is only a single month when I MAY use this coverage. I called the office and was informed that the only way to avoid paying this is to prove that I've had continuous healthcare coverage throughout the entire semester.
Do I have any recourse? I'm sorry if this is a stupid question and I'm sure the answer will be "you chose to go to the school, you follow their policies" but I figured it's worth a try. | school is charging me an egregious amount of money for health insurance, I'm a broke graduate student and cannot afford to pay it. |
t3_vjhg6 | relationships | Can't stop worrying about potential break up and it's interfering with my daily life. | I (22 F) have been with my boyfriend (20 M) for about a year.
Recently, we have been talking and he is starting to feel emotionless (says he can't control it and doesn't know anything that will help make it go away) and told me he wants to give our relationship some time to see if things can improve before we end up breaking up.
Ever since we've had this talk (about a week ago), I have been feeling very out-of-sorts. I have put a lot of effort into this relationship and I love him and don't want to end it. I can't help but be paranoid all the time that he is going to break up with me and worry about our relationship.
So I ask, first: what are some things that he can do to avoid losing all emotions and become (basically) a hermit, and then end up shutting me out of his life? Second: How can I stop worrying that this is definitely going to happen? I literally can't stop thinking about it and it has been interfering with my daily life. I find myself feeling nauseous, don't want to eat, getting headaches, and even just breaking down and crying.
I don't want to feel this way anymore but I don't want to lose him either. It won't make me feel any better to end it with him. I truly think he is something special and we have never had any major problems in our relationship.... Please help! | Boyfriend of a year is shutting me out accidentally and wants to see where the relationship goes before breaking up. I can't stop worrying and it is making me sick. I want to help him but I don't want to lose him |
t3_19waw4 | personalfinance | Questions about Roth IRA, emergency fund, changing jobs, and rolling over a 401k. | I've been reading about all these topics, but I'd still like a few different opinions about my personal situation. I'd like to open a Roth IRA, but I want to have a solid emergency fund first. Is it smart to keep my emergency fund in my Roth IRA as the contributions are able to be withdrawn without penalty?
Also, I'm planning to change jobs in the next few months. I'm currently investing in a 401k at my current employer. When I leave, should I rollover the 401k into a Roth IRA (not entirely sure what it means to rollover my 401k), or would it transfer to a 401k at my new company, or if my new company doesn't have a 401k plan, what happens?
I'm hoping to follow my dream career, which will probably mean taking a job that will pay less than my current job for a period of time. I'm hoping to start a business in the next year or two, so what does that mean for my 401k investments?
Thanks for reading! | Is a Roth IRA a good place for my emergency fund. I'm changing jobs in the next few months, what happens to my 401k contributions with my current employer. |
t3_2t809y | tifu | TIFU by not getting "orientation" and "experimenting" | This happened freshmen year college and I'm trying to undo the damage.
Just moved into college and me and my friend from high school return home to grab more things from home over the weekend. While he is waiting for his mom to pick him up from my house he asks me what is my orientation.
I paused and said "Tuesday, we had our [college] orientation Tuesday. Dude we went together how do you not remember."
He made an upset sigh and proceeded to ask me if I was going to experiment in college.
I replied, "probably next quarter, kind of want to ease into the lab stuff."
He got frustrated with me and stopped asking me anything.
First year of college we lived in the same building and had all the same classes because we were in the same major so we would visit each others rooms a lot.
Throughout the first year, several girls asked if I was gay multiple times. I said no and asked them why they thought so, but they didn't answer me.
It didn't hit me til my roommates outright said "you know he's gay right." Now in 3rd year.
I should have seen the signs, his feminine personality, kpop boy band posters, going to gay meetings (honestly thought he just supported the cause not part of it).
Should have seen the red flags sooner, especially when he got me alone after school and got me to play firetruck (didn't know what it was at the time) after our last day of high school where I yelled out molester when he got to my inner thigh and 2 of my friends rushed over and pulled him off me and stopped talking to me until orientation day.
He stopped talking to me when he understood I'm not into men. | Tunnel visioned hard on my friend being gay and trying to get with me and got the entire dorm building thinking I was gay. |
t3_3gsb0h | relationships | My [25F] supervisor [50sF] hates me but cannot fire me. How to deal with her verbal abuse? | I started a new job that I got through a temp agency. The office manager heard how well my work performance is and asked me to stay longer. I try my best to come in with a positive attitude and to work my best every day.
Then, there's my supervisor, who has no hiring (or firing) power. She'll glare at me, ridicule me, and call me names. She NEVER apologizes when she wrongly blames me for something. When I make mistakes (which I do, I'm new!) she makes a scene and yells, ridicules and calls me names in front of every one. She only treats me this way, and my teammates agree. When anyone else makes a mistake, she just laughs. If I ask her a question, she yells at me. If I don't ask questions, she STILL yells at me. I've sent an email to ask to talk to her personally and she ignores it.
I seriously don't know what to do. I can't even sleep well at night because she's stressing me out. I like the work, but I cannot last 30 seconds (literally) every day I walk in to work without her saying something. I'm always one of the first people arriving and she'll greet every one, including the very late people with a smile but with me, an insult.
There isn't an official HR rep, and the work place is so informal that if I tried to ask for assistance, it would go back to my supervisor who would only pulverize me some more. It's like an open playground for her to be a bully.
I don't know what to do with this crazy woman. I just want to have a good day at work, but she goes out of her way personally to not see me smile. She'll even tell me to stop laughing or smiling if she sees me doing so. | Supervisor hates my existence but doesn't have the power (or reason) to fire me. She makes it her life goal to upset me every day. |
t3_3z89ob | relationships | Me [21 y/o F] [24 y/o M] casual date of 1 month abruptly stops talking to me. Feeling confused and dissapointed | Last semester in one of my college classes, I made friends with one guy. I didn't think too much of him but thought he was friendly and easy to talk to. We would talk casually before class, but nothing too profound.
Again, I didn't think much of him.
After summer break however, I saw him in the library and I was really surprised when he struck up conversation with me. I didn't think he would have even remembered me from the little contact we had the previous semester.
I really started realizing that he was cute and nice though. I kept looking for ways to run into him again. (Luckily I go to a small school).
After running into him a few more times, he asked for my phone number. I was really excited. We texted for a while and he expressed interest, and even said that he would love to spend more time with me.
We hung out a few times and it went well. He even kissed me goodbye after the first hangout.
Everything was going fine and we even had vague plans to hang out before winter break (We live in different states so I would not being seeing him for a month).
He suddenly stopped replying to my texts right before winter break. I only tried once after the first time he didn't answer as to not appear pushy. I usually initiate conversation so I was already self conscious about being too forward.
It's been about three weeks since we've spoken and I'm trying to accept the fact that it's over.
However, it is strange because he views every one of my snapchat stories, so I know he's not just ignoring me | So what's the deal? I don't want it to be over, but should I continue trying to get over it or hope that he will text when school resumes? |
t3_189oph | BreakUps | Breakup on horizon possibly | Background: My girlfriend (21 F) and myself (22 M), have been together for a total of 3 years. We had broken up in August but through events that we were both attending, we continued to be friends. Well after our friends' wedding in November, we decide to go grab drinks and work through a majority of our problems and agree to ease back into a relationship.
We had broken up because I was in Austin and she was moving to Denton for her specific major. As I am graduating in May, and was single back in October, I decided after college I would move in with my best friends in Austin instead of our original plan of me moving back to Dallas. But since we got back together, it would be extremely rough to do one more year, but as I already signed a lease, I would feel like a douche if I backed out or even found a replacement.
Our current relationship has been great as of late, which makes this decision even worse. I just don't want to be forced to choose one over the other. My current plan is to move to Denton for the summer after I graduate and see how our relationship goes, but that is just delaying my decision. I was thinking of living in both places and sharing a room in Denton and having my place in Austin, but I don't know if that will be enough. | Need to make a decision if I should move to my girlfriend and break my lease and possibly lose my good friends or stay with current arrangement and possibly lose my girlfriend. |
t3_1qcdtk | relationships | My (24f) ex apologized to me (24m). | I'm honestly unsure what to do. Two months ago we had a falling out. I assumed it was because she started getting attention from other guys (she did). I began getting super clingy, insecure, and obsessive because of the lack of communication with her.
Anyway, over time I began to focus more on myself and would occasionally try to talk to her to tell her I still wanted her as a friend. She just would say mean things and call me obsessive.
Then I simply said I was going to move on. Ten days later she initiates for the first time and says "I"m sorry for being a terrible person".
I had just woken up so I was a little excited and shocked because I honestly thought she wanted me gone from her life and that she acknowledged how terrible she really treated me. I texted her back if she wanted to talk (she never gave me the truth and closure I wanted). She just said she was sorry again and that in 3 weeks we could talk because she wanted to focus on her final. I just replied "Good luck".
I talked with my friends and they believe she was rejected and talked to me to not feel so alone. It most likely is the case because I know she has been talking to this other guy she claimed a friend.
I just don't know how I should feel about her.. Maybe I should just continue focusing on myself although I feel lonely as well. | ex apologized although previously said she wanted nothing to do with me and wants to talk in a few weeks after her classes are over. |
t3_2al8ro | relationship_advice | [First Post] I'm [19/M] here going through break up with first love [19/F], needs advice on how to cope? | Hey there,
This is my first post, so I apologize if I am missing any formalities of this website, or if I posted this in the wrong spot.
2 days ago, me and the girl I love broke up. Background is that we really only dated for 4 months, but had dated the previous year and I never really forgot about her. We began dating long distance while at different colleges last semester and kept it going when we got home for summer and were actually close to each other. The reason for the break up is that she will be studying abroad this next year of school, and in order for us to stay together she needed to be in love. While I am in love with her, her feelings hadn't progressed yet. Hearing that honestly ripped my heart out, and I have never known this much pain before. I'm not angry, and am still very grateful I got the chance to date her and spend time with her, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel wrecked right now, and feel helpless when I think that I will never be able to think of her as my girlfriend again. I am a fairly realistic person, and know that the ultimate healer in a situation like this is going to be time, but are there any things that could help make this transition out of love easier, or any advice from others who have been where I am?
Also, side note, I would like to be able to be friends with her one day, as she is still an amazing person, but know I need time and distance to heal. Should I stay friends/followers with her on social media or take a break from that for now? | 19M loved gf, gf didn't reciprocate, how the hell do I handle this/move on? What should I do in regards to social media? |
t3_t4prh | relationships | Breakup Sex, one last time? or not? | So it is starting to look like I may be breaking up with my girlfriend this coming Monday. We have been seeing each other for about six months.
She is 26, I am 28.
It started out very intensely, spending lots of time together (seeing each other a few times every week, spending nights together regularly etc.). The heat cooled off, as many relationships do, after a couple of months, and we settled into a nice, seeing each other twice a week with sleep overs and we really like each others company, and the sex is great. In the last month or so though we both have been feeling dissatisfied. We have been seeing each other less I.E. once a week at best and this is not enough for either of us.
We both are dissatisfied with our jobs. We are both feeling kinda generally irritable. We talked about it a little while back, and we both got some stuff off our chests about how we feel. Communication has been quite good IMO.
So it seems like we may not have enough time for one another. I work two jobs, and am starting going back to school. She is really dissatisfied with her job and feeling quite depressed about it.
ANYWAYS!!
I haven't really heard from her in a week. This does not work for me. I basically asked if she wants to hear from me again. A few hours later she said "we should talk.." Generally "we should talk..." means we need to break up in my books. So this talk is going to happen on Monday.
My question is, **what is the consensus on breakup sex**?
If we still like each other, but the time is not quite right, yes we should split up. Do we do it one more time for old times' sake? | Have been seeing a girl for 6 months, not enough time for each other, likely to break up, do we have sex one last time because sex is fun for both of us? |
t3_3vsgxq | relationships | [ADVICE] I [24f] am struggling to include my MIL [45f] into holiday events | My family has always done something on Thanksgiving day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Morning. It's never just "let's get together and see what happens", it's been the same planned events every year.
My husband's mom has never really done that. Her family isn't as intact as mine or really in to the holidays. When asked what her plans are she never has anything concrete to share and has just insisted on sticking with my parents stuff; she'd work around their traditions.
My husband and I have a one year old. This has made her realize she wants the family traditions and all of the holiday activities to make memories with her grandson.
How do I go about planning our holiday break when I have one family that has definite plans, and another that is wishy washy with plans? | MIL has never done the holiday celebrations and has been fine yielding to my family's traditions. Has changed her mind this year. How do I split time without hurting feelings? |
t3_3ydegj | relationships | Me [45F] with my stepdaughter[25 F] of 10 years. She has rejected me again and I'm done with it. | I have been with my husband for over 10 years, married for five. I have known his daughter, Bree, since she was 15. We used to have a great relationship and were very close. When she went off to college, our relationship deteriorated and she started to ignore me when she came home to visit. This eventually culminated with me telling her it was unacceptable to just ignore me and I shouldn't have to walk on egg shells in my own home. After that she decided to completely cut me off, never speak to me or visit our home ever again. If her father wanted to see her, he would have to drive to her home 2 hours away. I tried to reach out to her multiple times only to be ignored and later told by my husband not to contact her. He never had my back on this and would always make excuses for her.
Now to the present: Bree has moved entirely across the country now, and no one has seen her for a year. She has planned a trip home in a few weeks. My husband and I planned to get a hotel to visit. A few days ago my husband tells me that he's talked to Bree and her sister and Bree has no intention of seeing me. I told him that I won't go anywhere I'm not welcome, and that I'm hurt. He says he understands and that he will be making the trip alone and will be staying with Bree's sister, Jane.
I'm flabbergasted. I of course assumed my husband would be on the same team as me. I can't believe he is making the trip where I am not welcome. I feel like him and his daughters have turned against me. This is not a short trip either, it's an entire week. We started fighting about it and it was heated but he refused to change his mind. I can hardly look him in the eye right now. How to I get him to understand how hurtful this is to me? | Stepdaughter is coming home and I'm not invited to see her. Husband won't have my back on how rude and mean this is and is going without me. |
t3_wnt25 | AskReddit | How much should the settlement be for pain and suffering with minor injuries in a car/bike accident? | Hey guys I posted a thread a little while ago about this. Everyone was really helpful and we chose to just deal with the insurance company instead of lawyer up. Basically the bike is all bent up and she received somewhat painful bruising on the hip, ankles and knees. No major injuries thankfully. She was sore for about 3-4 days.
The big thing is that since the accident she was very stressed out of course. Having some bad nightmares and just overall shaken. Somewhat traumatized about the possibility that she could have been severely injured or killed. It has been a major hassle getting to and from work for 2-3 weeks since that was her only transportation.
The full fault lies on the driver of the car. The insurance company offered $1400 for pain and suffering. Then they offered $150 for her bike. We are not the type to be greedy or sue happy. BUT, we want to make sure that this is a good offer. She has been through a lot with this incident and $1400 doesn't really cover much in my opinion. Reading about what to do in these situation I found a lot of people say whatever they offer double it. So she made a counter offer to the insurance company of $3500. We are also going to get an estimate on the bike repair or replacement, which is a separate fee. Personally I would like to see at least $200-300 to fully repair or replace the bike.
So is this a normal settlement amount? Is it low? Are we asking too much? Any knowledge on this type of thing shared is greatly appreciated. We have never dealt with it before. Thanks. | Wife hit by car on bike. Drivers full fault, minor injuries and pains/transportation problems for 2 weeks. Is $1400 settlement too little? $3500 too high? |
t3_3iy9q0 | tifu | TIFU by putting on a plastic ring... | This happened within the last 15mins... So I was looking through some old stuff and came across this plastic ring, used for decoration or something (don't ask me why), so for some absolutely retarded reason my stupidity hijacked my thoughts and told me to see if it fit on my index finger. It did, but got stuck.
My finger was starting to get red and quite big, naturally I started to panic. First thoughts was to use a lubricant, went into the kitchen and smothered my finger with washing liquid to try and wriggle it off, unfortunately this didn't work. Next step? Just try to pull it off, but as it started to get near the joints in my finger (don't know what they're called) I felt like it would pull one of my joints. So as the only logical solution left, I decided to grab a Coping Saw, I was sawing away at the thickest part (the thinner areas were not accessible due to my finger swelling up) and I realized I may be able to cut the rest of it off, luckily that worked. For some moments during the process I considered going to the hospital or someplace that could solve this... | Put on a plastic ring, got stuck, needed to saw/cut it off while fearing I could lose my finger forever. |
t3_4a70kj | relationships | Me [29 M] showing romantic interest in [26 F] person I know online for 2 years | A couple years ago I ran into this girl that has and still does work on some freelance projects for me of the art sort. She does great work and she's been a great help and we work great in that regard.
In the past four months we had talked briefly about some computer-related interests, finding out we have a few similar interests in gaming tastes and outlook with art methods.
She seems like an okay person and I would like to get to know her a bit better, maybe even romantically. She's a lot better of a choice than the people in my area/state. However, I am hesitant to do so if she's in a relationship already. Except for some education stuff and the state where she lives, I don't know anything about her personal life, including if she's with anyone or not.
How do I go about finding out if she is in a relationship? Is it even appropriate to pursue something? Do I just continue talking and hope it comes out randomly? Lastly, I don't want to pitch the question and lose her for the stuff I'm doing. That'd be bad. | How to show romantic interest in a girl that I know for 2 years but we've only dealt with work/projects, without ruining current relationship. |
t3_41kihy | relationships | My best friend [27 M] of 13 years is lobbying me [27 M] to change my recently decided wedding date. | I've known my best friend for just over 13 years. He got married to his wife 1 year ago. I have recently got engaged to my girlfriend of 4 years. As 2 couples, we get along well. No major fall outs or arguments.
In arranging my wedding, my fiancé and I have found a venue we love- and have chosen a date on one of two bank holidays in the season we're after. The other bank holiday was already taken. We have done this so everyone can have an extra day to recover and therefore enjoy themselves more. Especially those flying in from elsewhere.
Having found a date, we have also given the venue notice (but not paid a deposit). We have also now informed most of family and friends of the date. The 'official save the dates' haven't gone out yet.
The problem here is that my friend (who I was hoping to be best man) and his wife run a wedding services business. Generally receiving deposit based bookings up to 3 years in advance. It had not occurred to me that I should consult with them on the date of the wedding to see if it would cause complications for them to attend.
Best Man contacted me today very disappointed. He does indeed have a professional booking on this date. He lobbied me to change the date and to try and appreciate the situation he (and his wife) are in. He is very worried about his local reputation and the damage that may be done by cancelling his booking to attend our wedding. My fiancé does not want (under any current circumstances) to change the date. The date is over 1 year away.
My guess is that he is personally offended that I didn't respect his profession- and therefore cared not to ask him if the date suited. But what if I did ask him ahead of time? There is a good chance my fiancé would still want the bank holiday date.
I feel like I need to stick to my date but ensure he feels like I have included him in the decision. But is it too late for this? | He wants us to change the date so he and his wife can fulfil a professional commitment, but we're set on the date. |
t3_2b748c | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] of 2.5 years. Thinking of seducing him instead of arguing. Avoidant or helpful? | I find myself seeing less of him as he finds more friends. Now I'm lucky if I can see him for a few hours on the weekends because he's so busy with school, work, and his new friends.
He seems happy with me/enjoys my company, so I don't think he's pulling away.
He's the kind of guy where if I force him to do anything, he'll do the opposite. This fight-or-flight response has a hairline trigger. Not only will talking about it push him away, but it'll also make me seem too clingy.
He's a really kinky guy and usually I'm more traditional.
I was thinking about becoming more adventurous in the bedroom and then doing my own thing outside of it. Give him time to miss me.
Somehow, this feels manipulative. But it could also be hot. I thought I'd get a few more anonymous opinions before I made myself look silly. | Boyfriend is too busy with new friends. Thinking of having more spontaneous sex instead of talking about the issue. Yea or nay? |
t3_1wfs1n | relationship_advice | How do I [19/M] get to know my crush [19/F] better, but i'm always blocked by her friend [19/F] | Last week my semester started, by a stroke of luck my crush from my previous class last semester was in one of my classes this semester. On the first day of class I walked in and she noticed me and said hello and and asked me how my break was. I sat down next to her and we chatted for a long time until class started. We hit it off really well and I found out that we have tons in common, and she seemed to be interested in what I was doing too.
The next day of class I encountered a roadblock. Her best friend had decided to transfer into our class and now I have no chance to talk to her since she talks to her BFF for all of it. That class is the only time I see her. I would really love to get to know her better and to see where it could lead. How do I overcome this obstacle? | crush on girl in my class, got along really well, her BFF transferred into class and can't talk to her |
t3_f45g0 | AskReddit | Boyfriend wants me to go on the pill to make sex feel better, but I'm scared of the side effects. Now there's tension in our relationship because of this. | We've been using condoms ever since we were first together, and we haven't had a problem with them, but he also knows that sex feels a lot better without the condom. He's been asking me if I'd go on birth control. I first said I'd look into it, but after I did some research, I was put off by the potential side effects.
The issue really isn't whether or not I should be worried about the side effects; it's that he's getting frustrated with me for not doing what I can to make sex better. And me getting pissed at him that he keeps on pressuring me to go on the pill even though I really don't want to. We've talked this through multiple times, and I've said I'm not comfortable going on birth control, but the situation stands. Our sex life pretty good right now, but like I said, he knows that it would feel better if we could stop using condoms.
I thought about the situation in reverse, and I really wouldn't want him to take some pill and risk possible side effects, even if it made sex better for me. | Boyfriend frustrated with me for not going on the pill because sex will feel better without a condom. I'm frustrated with him for pressuring me to go on the pill. |
t3_sizag | AskReddit | What is your favorite custom fast food order that you have to have whenever you go there? | So lately McDonald's has this annoying commercial where the guy says "I love you." and then the girl says "You're my Egg McMuffin." And then it becomes all about how an Egg McMuffin is the fast food to behold, and so calling anything an Egg McMuffin is tantamount to calling that thing the best thing ever.
While I've become thoroughly annoyed by the commercial, I gotta hand it to McDonald's, because I also thoroughly enjoy their fast food. I'm not saying I'm a fast food junky, but when people talk about food and then make it sound like McDonald's is shit, all I'm thinking is: you fat, bitch! You think Ruby Tuesday's is healthier than Micky D's? Shiiiiiit....
So, when I need a quick bite, Sr. Donaldo's is on my short list. And when I'm thinking breakfast, I'm thinking this:
Sausage Egg 'n' Cheese Biscuit with 2 Hashbrowns and either coffee or OJ, depending on my thirst level.
Now I know that a SE & CB is not on the main menu, but I remember a time when it used to be. And that was when I was a kid and I remember the first time I had this breakfast of gods. It was something that I instantly knew would be with me for the rest of my life. And indeed it has.
So since it's not on the main menu, and from what I've learned from the good employees that it's on the "X menu" (no joke), I consider it my custom Micky D's breakfast. 75% of the time I pay the cost for extra cheese on a sausage and egg biscuit because most of the clerks don't know shit. Yep, it's the cheese that makes it.
So, I want to hear from Reddit what their go to custom fast food meal is. Or, what their go to standard fast food meal is.
Format should be this: <restaurant name>: <your meal> <and then all the good stuff you want to say about it.> | What's your go to custom fast food meal? Format: <restaurant name>: <your meal> <and then all the good stuff you want to say about it.> |
t3_2u0d8o | relationships | Me [35 M] with my gf [22 F] less than a month, where to start. | My cousin was dating a woman with a daughter. They hooked up and also ended up having a kid (making that kid my cousin).
while out at the bar/ parties i would run into the daughter. We ended up hooking up after an alcohol fueled evening.
Although we have no actual relation its odd to me. She wants to go further. I have reservations because of the close relations.
The age thing is what it is im a fit attractive male and she is a mature female for her age. im really into her but is it moral? opinions needed. | hooked up with a much younger woman, that happens to be near my family circle. she wants more, i have reservations. |
t3_10jkxe | AskReddit | I applied to jobs using craigslist, and I got response that seems too good to be true. Am I getting scammed? | Hey guys. Recently, I have been sending out my resume to businesses on craigslist in search of a job as a receptionist. I got a reply back this morning from an advertisement, and the guy was telling me all about a job completely different than what the advertisement stated. He keeps emailing me about wanting me to be his personal assistant, and he asked for my information so he could send a check for the first week's salary, along with extra money and instructions for me to give to orphanages.
The only thing that sketches me out is that I can't find his name anywhere on Google, even though he claims to be a very successful entrepreneur. He claims that he is in Europe for the next three weeks, and is hard of hearing so he can't talk on the phone...*so he can only correspond by email.* Also, he responds to my messages with a different email each time.
Is this a scam, or has anyone else run into this guy? | $500/week just to do mundane errands for an elderly man who won't meet with me in person seems a bit off. |
t3_fh6g6 | self | Geeky Identity Thieves | So I was going to check my bank account online and see $300+ charged to ThinkGeek. Then i noticed a one dollar charge to the WikimediaFoundation. Knowing damn well I did not order anything from ThinkGeek I call them up to check it out. They tell me one charge was already canceled, but the other has gone through so I need to call my bank. He adds that my card is likely compromised because the orders were to ship to the Ukraine. O_o
Card is canceled now, and I should be getting my money back; except the dollar to wikimedia because I should probably go donate more to them anyway...
I'm pretty geeky, so this could not be a more apt way to spend my stolen money, but damn... too weird. | Someone got my cc number, donated a dollar to the wikimedia foundation and then placed a $200 order with ThinkGeek, shipping to the Ukraine. Did I just get identity theft trolled? |
t3_23ajj5 | relationships | Me [23 M] and my crush [20 F] admitted we had feelings for each other, but I got clingy for a moment. | I've had a crush on this girl for a while and she recently admitted having similar feelings toward me. Good, right?
The same night, I texted her asking if she was studying for an exam, we, then, started talking about different topics which lead to our mutual feelings, but in the middle of the conversation she sent two text which said; " To complain probably" and "To ask me if I was studying" then she said, sorry wrong conversation. I didn't pay attention to the message and we kept talking. At some point, I guess I got carried away because she had feelings for me, but I became completely weird/cringey (which I didn't realize until the morning after). She kept talking for few text, but stopped answering. I said good night and all, she never answered. The morning after, I read the conversation, came to the conclusion that she thought I complained a lot. I'll admit it, I do complain a lot and I'll try to change that. She usually text me on a daily basis, but I haven't heard from her since Tuesday. I didn't want to text her because I realized how uncomfortable I probably made her and didn't want to make things worst.
I want to send a text like " Hey, I'm sorry about the other night, I got carried away and things got kind of weird. I'll also make an effort to complain less" Is that pushing it? The last thing I want is to creep her out completely.
P.S Sorry for any mistakes, I'm still learning the language. | I got cringey during a conversation, she hasn't texted in two days, should I send her a text to apologize? |
t3_44btu7 | relationships | How can I [26 M] help my girlfriend [19 F] of 3 months, deal with her jealousy of my past history of exes? | I've known her for several years. She's both a great person and friend, and confessed to me 3 months ago. However she is having a lot of trouble dealing with my past history of exes. She has a hard time accepting that I've slept with them when I was in a relationship with them (Once when I was 18 and other 23).
We're in a long-distance relationship, so I can't be there to hold her when she needs me the most and it really pains me. She is a very jealous lover and I know she has a lot of insecurities and compares herself to my exes. She herself is a virgin. She's had one relationship before me which was a lot of problems right from the start, so she hasn't had much relationship experience.
I know that this is something she has to get over on her own. She is still young and has much to learn and experience on her own. But I don't want to point fingers and tell her to just drop it and stop mentioning it. I feel like it's unfair because at that age, I, myself, was a jealous lover but I've had enough years on me to learn to deal with it. I've told her many times that I only love her. I want to stay with her, and I love her to death.
I don't feel guilty over the fact that I had sex with my exes. I feel guilty when I see her struggle and suffer like this and trying to deal with it.
I get the thoughts that I might just not be the one who should be with her at this moment even though I love her. I didn't want to see her struggle like this. But I'd like to help in any way I can before I throw in the towel. This is a very sensitive topic for her and it's very hard to talk about it, but is there anything I could do for her that can help her into thinking more positive or not let the negative thoughts manifest themselves to get bigger? | Long-distance girlfriend is jealous and having trouble dealing with the fact that I've had sex with my exes in the past. What can I do to help her? |
t3_3bfrmz | relationships | Me [25 M] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 4 months, boyfriend has a history of cheating | My boyfriend and I have been together for four months now. He told me from the very beginning he had a history of cheating--as in, he's cheated in all his past relationships. He cheated twice on his first boyfriend, and once on his second boyfriend.
I am very bothered by this. To give an example, the day after both of us decided to become a couple, he met and had dinner (and who knows what else) with his ex. He posted some pictures on Facebook and he looked like he was having a really really good time. He's also a flirt; I caught him chatting up one of my friends, and they were exchanging filthy messages about sex, etc. And a lot of guys keep on flirting with him too. My gut is telling me he's going to cheat eventually, or has already cheated on me.
I'm in a bind, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if this relationship is worth it anymore. I'm afraid I'm going to get my heart broken sooner or later. | boyfriend has a history of cheating. I have a strong gut feeling he may eventually cheat, or has already cheated on me. |
t3_2fjimi | relationships | Am I being shallow? | My boyfriend(30m) and I (30f) have been together for 4 years. We've had our disagreements and our amazing moments but lately we've been distant. Both of our jobs demand so much so we don't talk throughout the day and by the time we get home we're too tired to do anything. Usually we will just talk about our day, eat dinner, watch tv then go to bed. On a good night we may even have sex. Anyway I've been receiving calls from bill collectors bc it turns out he has not been paying bills. This has caused even more of a rift between us and now we pretty much avoid each other for fear of another fight. I'm exhausted and have even considered calling it quits. BUT I'm afraid to bc of all the debt we're in. I don't want to leave him with all of it and I don't want to take all of it with me. We don't have any kids so that would make the split easier I guess...
Has anyone had to make this decision before? What would be the best way to handle it? | Need advice on handling large amount of debt I've accrued with my boyfriend to make the breakup easier for both of us. |
t3_4rfmzc | relationships | I [23F] was really vulnerable in front of my new [2 months] boyfriend [27M]. I'm embarrassed and afraid he'll no longer be attracted to me. | It's not a long story, but the title pretty much says it.
My new boyfriend and I went out for dinner last night, and I guess I ate something that didn't agree with me.
He was driving home and I had to ask him to pull over so I could throw up. When we got back to my place (he was staying with me for the weekend) it all went downhill. The only symptom I had/have was the vomiting but it was pretty much non-stop for 8 hours.
I also hate being sick. After a few throw ups I started to cry and I'm sure that didn't help the situation.
He was really sweet. He sat behind me the whole time and rubbed my back and tummy and carried me to bed when it slowed down. At that point he even cleaned out the trash can each time and massaged my stomach from the dry heaving.
I woke up this morning and I was so embarrassed and felt so awkward. He said he didn't mind and that he actually felt good being able to take care of me, but I'm scared he won't look at me the same way. I was so vulnerable and I'm not the type of person to let my guard down and I'm so mortified that another person saw me in this state.
I feel bad because I haven't spoken to him since and I don't know what to say.
How do I move forward from here and apologize for what he went through? | I vomited profusely in front of my new boyfriend all night and I feel embarrassed and unsure of how to apologize. I'm scared he won't be attracted to me anymore. |
t3_146689 | loseit | It is clear what to consume when fasting, it is not as clear when not fasting. Make yourself a strict meal plan. | I started attempting my weight loss back in mid-September. I started at 250 lbs and have made it down to ~225 lbs with a goal weight of 160 lbs. My method of execution has been almost exclusively through diet change, specifically intermittent fasting and general calorie reduction. One of the important things I am doing this time around that has been different than previous attempts is the acceptance of days in which I eat "poor", such as when I am on vacation or visiting my folks. In the past, this has always caused me to say, "f*ck it! I've completely ruined my diet, better quit.". This time around I am leaving things open for those types of events and not expecting the diet to be 100% by the numbers. This has turned out to be the key to the best success I've had yet.
However, recently I have been struggling on non-fasting days. I believe the main factor is due to stress, but this shouldn't be an excuse. The fasting days, although physically challenging, have actually proved to be extremely mentally easy. The goal is simple, don't put any food in your mouth. Non-fasting days are much less clear and far easier to let slide. So, to get myself back on track, I have created a meal plan for myself. I have a list of items I am allowing myself to eat at 4 periods throughout the day and the quantities of each. I am hoping that this will give myself the crystal-clear diet constraints that (naturally) come with my fasting days. In this revived phase I am also attempting to work some exercise into the mix. I really feel like I will hit my goal weight, it's just a matter of time. | It is clear what to consume when fasting, it is not as clear when not fasting. Make yourself a strict meal plan. |
t3_39gbmj | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Gf [24 F] of the past year had our biggest fight and I was the villain now we don't know where we go | My girlfriend and I have continuously throughout our youth done the on again/off again thing. We always wind up finding our ways back to each other because we both haven't loved anyone this much. The problem we're facing at the moment is the biggest one we have had over our time and I am nervous that we won't be able to get through it.
The last relationship she was in prior to our present stretch was a bad one. The guy was very manipulative, and both emotionally and physically abusive towards her. It took a lot of time for her to open back up to me and for us to rebuild our relationship after that one. There are still portions of that relationship that she is reluctant to open up to me about and I respect that and don't push for more.
Anyways fast forward to last weekend we were at her cousins wedding and both of us had too much to drink. She asked me to go sit down as I was a mess on the dance floor and instead of complying like I should have I started an argument. Not to alarm the others we went outside where I proceeded to become more and more belligerent and defiant towards her wishes that I calm down and relax. The fight continues, she storms off, I go back to the room.
I woke up the next morning not recalling any of this and had to have it retold to me. She said that I had promised her a million times that I was not that person, but it seems like I lied. This was 3 days ago and both of us are a mess. She says she doesn't know what she wants to do about this and had never been the most firm decision maker. I have apologized profusely, sent flowers, given her space, and I have also decided to act proactively and go speak with someone about how I acted under the influence to see if there is a bigger problem here.
I just don't know what to do, I can't stand the thought of losing her after all we have been through because of my drunken actions one bad night. Please whatever advice, etc. any of you can offer up to help would be immensely appreciated. | Long term on again/off again finally going well for about a year, one drunken fight scared her, and now I'm doing everything I can to keep her. |
t3_4ctf3o | relationships | Me [26 M] dating girlfriend [25 F] for 2 months, she quit smoking but breath smelled like cigarettes. | So I've been dating this girl for 2 months now. About a month before we started dating she quit smoking menthol cigarettes after almost a decade. Twice she's relapsed; first from stress, second from a party about 2 weeks ago.
Last night she and I got into a big fight and it was brutal. This morning we made up, but when I went over to her house after work I kissed her and her breath smelled like cigarettes. I asked if she had smoked, she said no but she had just got done brushing her teeth and maybe the menthol from that was triggering my sense. Also she said she did some exercising so maybe it was residual from that.
Those excuses didn't seem right to me so I pressed a little more and she seemed calm at first but then got defensive and of course we couldn't talk about it anymore. Part of me also wonders if its just me. I've been getting over a sore throat and maybe the menthol triggered my senses incorrectly to intensify the menthol and make me associate it with smoking... or something.
I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that she smoked again because I understand that she'll have times of relapsing because of triggers. But what I am bothered by is if she is lying to me. I'm just trying to think this through and would like some outsider's opinions.
I looked up to see what are signs of lying and her story didn't change, she didn't dramatically escalate, she's not acting any different, she did look me in the eyes when she said no. | Girlfriend's breath smells like cigarettes and saying it's not. Has good excuses to why it isn't. Is she lying? |
t3_imtbl | AskReddit | Recent college grad looking for advice | I graduated recently with a computer engineering degree and am eager to work. Problem is I'm not sure exactly where, or what.
In college I was computer science 'track', and I've always enjoyed programming but im not -that guy- who you only see coding. I've spent all day coding, I enjoy the challenge, but I've never had a job doing it all day every day. That is the reason I chose computer engineering, so that I have hardware too.
With such a broad range, I'm not sure which direction I should go, and how much i should change my resume to fit the job I'm applying for.
I am leaning towards a software job to at least try out, but worry about how I'd handle cubical.
Also, what would be a good language to learn that most companies use? or a very rewarding thing to learn (databases? linux? embedded devices?) Who here has a tech job and loves it?
I seem to gravitate towards web languages currently because of instant feedback, being online, and accessibility. | I know I would enjoy, and be capable at any tech related job, but don't know how/where to get started. |
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