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t3_w3rxm | relationships | I'm sure I'm not the only person who is in a relationship like this. We're both people who "want to do whatever you want to do." | I (26F) have been my boyfriend (28) for about a year now.
Whenever we're together and trying to find something to do, we almost always get into a conversation that goes like, "What do you want to do?"
"I want to do whatever you want to do."
"Well...I can't think of anything. Can you think of something?"
"Not really. But we've been sitting in this apartment all weekend. We should do something."
"I agree. I'm getting depressed from laying around all day."
"Me, too."
"So what do you want to do?"
"I don't care. Whatever makes you happy."
And then we go around and around until I end up making a decision (which is making me feel like the responsibility for having fun is on my shoulders) or we don't decide on anything and then spend the rest of our time together on Reddit.
If you do this in your relationship, how do you balance this? Would it be unreasonable for me to suggest that perhaps we take turns making decisions? | Boyfriend and I go like "What do you wanna do?" "Idk, what do you want to do?" for hours and hours and hours until we both pass out from boredom. |
t3_2f4rfg | relationships | Me [22F] still in love with my ex [29M] of 2 years, wants to be friends but already has a new GF | My ex[29M] and i[22F] were in a pretty serious relationship for just over two years. We were living together and travelled together.
The first year of the relationship i helped him through the hardest times of his life. he was struggling with drug addiction, and when everyone else had abandoned him i was there for him. He managed to get through it all and came out a much better, healthier, and happier person in the end.
He always said he was going to marry me eventually.
He had trust issues, due to previous relationships. When his job called for him to move to another country and i was unable to move there due to visa complications, those trust issues destroyed the relationship. We broke up about 4 months ago.
Communication became bad between us after that and i've been heartbroken since.
He now already has a new girlfriend[34F]. And now he says he wants to keep contact with me.
Im not sure how to deal with this. i dont know how to just be friends as i still am so in love with him. | ex[29M] of 2 years already has new GF[34F]. i dont know how to remain friends when i'm still in love with him. |
t3_3j5f6l | personalfinance | Boyfriend surprised with $9000 of debt when checking credit report | Let me preface this by saying that we are both 22, in college, and know very little about credit scores and reports. This is the first time that my boyfriend had checked his credit report in 2 years.
In 2013, my boyfriend went to the hospital on 3 different occasions. He had insurance at the time, and he did pay a co-pay every time he visited. He never received any notification (through phone call, postal mail, or even e-mail) that he owed anything else. He did happen to check his credit report about 4 months after his last hospital visit, and there were no unexpected debts on the report.
Last month, he decided to check his credit report once again- only to find that he owed about $3000 for each hospital visit (now due to a collection agency). Since he was never contacted by the hospital, insurance company, or collection agency, he tried to dispute the claims directly with Equifax/TransUnion/Experian. All 3 agencies just replied (via email) that they verified the collections to be his, and they will not take them off of his credit report.
Reddit, what can we do? Due to this, his credit score is so low (less than 500) that he can't even get a credit card. Besides that, we're students; there's no way we can pay $9000 any time soon. We're trying to find a lawyer- but even with one, what can we expect? | boyfriend owes $9000 to a collections agency for medical bills he never knew he had. His credit score sucks, and now we don't know what to do or expect. |
t3_4r5tk4 | relationships | I [27/M] ended a 5 year relationship with my now ex gf [30/F]. Starting to feel lonely and full of regret, but there is no going back. How to not feel bleak? | A few months ago, I broke up with my now ex-gf of five years. We had been living together for 4 years. I felt that the relationship got to a point where I wasn't seeing her as a romantic partner anymore and I felt I needed space to work on myself. I was starting to experience some crippling anxiety and somewhat of a quarter-life crisis.
So I ended things, moved out, got a new place, started a new job, made an appointment for therapy, etc. The problem is, a couple months have passed and I find myself feeling very alone and full of regret. That she was very kind and caring, intelligent and mature. It feels like there is no going back though, she said I am the biggest asshole in her book and I probably deserve that. I unfriended her on FB, and stopped following her on social media to keep my mind off of her, but I can't help but feel melancholy, especially as I spend this holiday weekend alone.
How do I get past this? Has anyone else been in this type of situation? How did you deal with it? I don't really have a close friend base in the city I live in because I moved down here for work with my ex-gf and we were each others social circle. | ended things with gf of 5 years, now experiencing loneliness and regret, but feel that there is no going back because she thinks I am an asshole. How do I get past this and cope? |
t3_2w1zf6 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my ___ [25 M] bf, I work and go to school, and support him. All he has to do is keep the house clean, and it has been a disaster for the past 1.5 years. Giving up hope on finding a working solution. | It's really the only major thing wrong. He's great, but says perpetually "I'll do it tomorrow". We've moved from a shared room in a house , to an apartment, and I have a good job now and may move into a house in a few months. Every time we move he says he'll start cleaning afresh at the new place, but it's been almost 2 years. I've tried everything. Ultimatums, calm conversations, lists, threats. I have no idea what to do. The house is an absolute disaster and eventually I spend several hours cleaning it, but that's only after months go by. I refuse to clean after working 70+ hours a week. I won't break up with him over it, but I have threatened to move out after our lease is up. I feel like I might have a really hard time actually doing this. I just don't know what else to do and am feeling resentful, but too overworked to be too angry/ do anything about it. Oh, I forgot he works 20 hrs a week at an easy job, and I work at a much more demanding job full time while finishing my degree. He wants me to take care of him financially but it drives me insane that the house is destroyed. | Boyfriend wants me to take care of him financially (no problem doing that) but won't clean the house. I've tried everything. |
t3_2axkfv | relationship_advice | [15/M] My Girlfriend [15/F] Recently Got Back From A Trip Out Of Country, And Now Won't Respond To My Texts | Alright, so my girlfriend just went to Nicaragua. While she was there, there was no cell service so I just had to wait a month until she got back to text her. However, upon return 5 days ago, two things have struck me as odd: she no longer responds to my texts, and set up a Facebook account without friending me. With the texting, I know she's seen my texts since she has the time to constantly post to Instagram about her trip, but hasn't replied to a single text. She also set up a Facebook, even though she used to be anti-Facebook, and set her relationship status to "it's complicated." Did I mention that she has friended every single person in my high school class that uses Facebook, EXCEPT me? My worry is that she had a fling with some dude she met on the trip, and now wants to distance herself from me. I don't know, please help. | My girlfriend recently returned from a one month trip out of country with no cell service, and now won't answer my texts even though she's using her phone and has friended everyone in my class except me on her newly made Facebook. |
t3_yo8s5 | relationships | I've moved on - why does this hurt so much? [19] | Hi, guys. I'll try to keep this brief, but give all the backstory I need to make myself clear.
At the beginning of December, I [19] broke up with my first long term boyfriend [18]. First kiss, first lover, first everything. We dated for almost two years. It was a very toxic relationship, he was selfish and sexist, very immature and very dominant, but I never realized it because I had never experienced anything else. Even sex with him was never anything special. We never "made love." We just had sex.
In February, I met the most wonderful guy on earth. He is everything my first boyfriend wasn't, and I am head over heels madly in love with him. Every time we make love, it is passionate and loving and perfect.
My ex-boyfriend, however, still showed signs of not moving on, and swore he would never find anyone else for him, nor would ever want to.
Today, however, I found out that my ex-boyfriend has been casually hooking up all summer with a girl we both know, whom he will be attending college with, both as freshmen. I also found out that he blocked me from Facebook, seemingly unprompted.
I thought I had moved on. I have no complaints about my relationship - heck - or even my life. But why does this hurt so much? Is it wrong to wish, even just a little bit, that he still hadn't moved on? I guess I just miss feeling wanted. Even from someone who treated me so awfully.
Any words of advice, or similar stories? | Moved on from toxic relationship, ex-boyfriend didn't until recently, when he started hooking up casually with a mutual friend. Why does this hurt so much? |
t3_tisb7 | AskReddit | I got one my Dad's most valuable workers to quit. What's the worst accident you've done to screw your parents over? | I had been missing my phone for almost two weeks. I ultimately decided that I would cancel my plan so that whoever may have my phone couldn't cause me any financial pains. I called Rogers. They asked Business or Personal account. My parent's pay the bills through business, so I said business. The lady asked my phone number, I gave the number and then she muttered some name. I said ok in confusion (It was my number so it doesn't really matter what she said, right?) WRONG. The next week I find my phone, and I'm completely stoked to realize the plan was never cancelled to begin with. I carry on with my life until two days after. I get the news from my dad that 'Rick' from work quit. I was surprised, because he had worked for the company for so long. I ask my dad why he left- and he said they got in a huge argument. Dad said the argument was something to do with the company phones. He said 'Rick' was arguing about the cancellation of his phone plan, leading to the loss of customers business over the long weekend. My heart dropped, and I realized immediately- that the name the lady from Rogers must've been talking about ricks phone. | I cancelled his phone bill by accident, which stirred the pot at the workplace- where 'Rick' eventually quite because he thought my dad was stealing from his profit. |
t3_35d13m | relationships | Should I [21 M] break off an appointment with her [19 F] as she doesn't seem interested? | The girl goes to the same uni and is fun to talk with. I told her that we should get lunch sometime, she agreed, and we set up a tentative date of next week.
Today when she sees me she tells me that there's another guy interested in her and that right now, she sees both of us as friends.
I know what I want and it's not a platonic relationship. I've more or less made up my mind that I probably shouldn't be pursuing this girl if she can't give me a straight answer. Should I call off the appointment next week and just go no contact? Or just go out to lunch and try to get a straight answer? | Girl agrees to go out to lunch next week. Tells me today that another person is also interested in her and she sees us both as friends for now. Call off the appointment? |
t3_eacz3 | AskReddit | Want to upgrade my questionably-legal military discharge. How do I go about doing this? | Reddit, I need your help. I'm trying to upgrade my discharge from the navy. I feel that the circumstance of my current discharge was unjust and I need to have an honorable discharge to use education benefits.
When I was in the military, I went into treatment for, what they thought, was alcoholism. While in rehab, I told the doctors that I had been using drugs too. Long story short: I successfully completed rehab and was diagnosed as alcohol dependent and drug dependent. When I returned to my command, I thought everything was going to be fine. I was wrong, my command looked though my medical records (which I believe is illegal) and saw the drug dependency diagnosis and flipped out. They demanded that I take a urinalysis, which I refused as they are required to be random to maintain constitutionality. I never 'poped' on a drug test. Later, they sent me to non judicial punishment for drug abuse and processed me out of the Navy. I received a general (under honorable) discharge for drug addiction. This discharge disqualifies me for the GI bill and other education benefits that I want to use.
My questions are: Was it legal for them to look though my medical records? I can't find a specific military law that states that, but I'm not sure exactly where to look either. Also, what are the chances of upgrading the discharge? I've led a great life after my service and currently have a government job, own a house, and am in school. Does that factor in their decision? How should I go about doing this? Help‽
Thanks! | I received a general discharge of questionable legality and I want to upgrade to an honorable discharge. How can I make this happen? |
t3_4y3xho | tifu | TIFU by replacing my wireless card. | So this happened yesterday around this time. I decide to change the wireless card on my PC so I can actually pull in a strong connection (My previous wireless card decided to poop and slowly lose connectivity).
I follow every procedure correctly. I shut down through the OS, I turn off the power supply, I unplug the computer and move it to a stable location.
Here is where I FU. I'm wearing the most static electric outfit in the world. Wool pants and a sweater t-shirt. I didn't think to de-static myself, which, can ruin an entire PC motherboard if I have a strong enough current.
The installation goes smoothly, so I plug in my power supply and turn on the computer. I discover that the display is not, well, displaying causing me to do a series of trouble shooting (this includes testing my monitor, reseating my CMOS, checking my BIOS, making sure my PCI-E plugs on my Motherboard are not shocked, etc). This eventually ends with me unplugging my EVGA gtx 1070, then booting up the PC again to see a display. I do a few more tests to make sure it is indeed my card and not my motherboard. Lo and behold, it's ruined.
I bought that card at a 445 USD charge. It practically costed me half a grand and I ruined it in 10 minutes by being an idiot and not de-staticing myself.
Luckily, EVGA's tech support is very nice and looked into my warranty plan for me. Thank goodness for 1 year warranties. | Decided I needed a better internet speed. Fuck up my brand new and shiny GPU by having too much static electricity. |
t3_45nes6 | legaladvice | Upstairs renters issuing complaints about me. | I live in a three story apartment in Auoroa, CO complex, I just received a notice from the leasing office that a noise complaint was filed against me for last night. I live by myself and listen to things at normal levels unless guests are over. I was alone last night. My first weeks here upstairs neighbors could be herd as if a wild animal was stampeding across their floor. I would turn in my TV and about 5 minutes later they would beat on the floor as if to say its to loud. I also live directly above the garages and can hear people working in their garages all day long. I'm not one to complain, I am a very cooperative person. But I like where I live and would want to stay here. What do I say or do to the renters or leasing office to correct this as civilly as possible. This notice has me quite upset so I am waiting before I make any action. | upstairs neighbors (I think) submitted noise complaint about me, they are always way louder than I ever am, but I don't say a thing. What do I do? |
t3_otwtn | AskReddit | Reddit, What is your most bizzare encounter with a total stranger? [First post] | Today (Jan 23, 2012 Chinese New Year) I was waiting at the bus stop with a few friends to go home. We'd come 40 minutes too early and 5 minutes too late so we waited there a while. Out of no where an old Indian man (late 60's early 70's) stops to sit at the bus stop beside me, and soon we engage into conversation. He practically told me his life story, how he had broken his femur once in India in a car accident, came here in '91, and had gotten into another car accident in the same month 3 days later in Florida. The conversation moved onto Chinese New Year and I told him (being Chinese) some things you shouldn't do for the coming month in prevention of bad luck for the year. Afterward, he asks me where I came from, because he said all asians look the same. | I met a 65-75 year old Indian Man at a bus stop and he said all asians look the same. |
t3_p14w4 | AskReddit | Reddit, what occupations are there for designing video games? | This might be a long read. Also not sure if this is the right place for this. To put some back story. I have had ADHD for most of my life although it was only recently diagnosed. (The symptoms were all there, but my parents just attributed it to me being eccentric) and have never been able to focus on most things. Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a game programmer. However, due to my ADHD I could never actually bring myself to learn game programming. (As I'm aware, most people pick up programming from a somewhat early age like 12+.) I am currently in my second semester of college and have taken an introduction C++ programming class and struggled with it halfway through. I eventually pulled my grade up to a B through sheer luck. Now comes to my crisis. Video games are my absolute passion. I cannot see myself doing anything else besides designing games. But I no longer see programming as a foreseeable occupation. I'm so utterly confused as to what to do. I want an occupation dealing with designing video games, but I have no idea what I should learn nor do I have any idea as to what occupations there are in the Video Game Industry. Any help you guys could offer? | ADHD. Wanted to be a programmer all my life. No longer foreseeable. Still want to design video games. What occupations are there? |
t3_1ldtua | relationships | My[19/F] boyfriend [20/M] of two years keeps running off to his female friend for comfort instead of me | My boyfriend has to decide what major he wants very quickly. This has been making him stressed and confused. He has shared his options with me and we have discussed them at length and that is all he wants to talk about. He won't let me try and help him relax or laugh. Almost every attempt at having a conversation that is not about his major has been thwarted. I am not worried about romance between him and his friend. I am worried that he is going to her, and only her, for activities to take his mind off of his stress. He and I do not go to the same college so I cannot be there in the physical like his female friend. Tonight I stayed up late so that I could speak to him after he visited him female friend with the hopes that I could also help him the way she has been helping him. however, he said he needed to get right to bed for an early class the next day. I am jealous that do not even have the option of helping him deal with the stress, where he allows his female friend to occupy his attention, time, and ease his mind. **Is this just not my place to help?**
he excused himself tonight saying he had to go to sleep due to an early class, otherwise i would be talking with him about this now. I don't know if I should pursue this in the morning or just let it go because it is not something I should worry about. | my boyfriend hasn't been coming to me to help take his mind off of stress. he just comes to me to talk about his stress and goes to his other friend to take his mind off it. |
t3_31hcfh | relationships | My boyfriend [33M] planned a 10 day, no-contact vacation and didn't tell me. How can I get over it? [25F] | My boyfriend is generally a great guy. Extremely generous, supports me financially quite a bit, always there to help etc, etc.
We had Easter plans to have his aunt over, bought a turkey, blah blah blah. One week ago his brother is over and they are talking about their upcoming trip? Whaa? He finally tells me he is going for around 10 days to visit family out of town. I was initially fine with it, he does it about 3-4 times a year, I can't go because I have finals.
He likes to turn his phone off, and I won't hear from him until he gets back. It's becomes extremely frustrating. He doesn't have cell reception where he's staying, which is fine, but I still don't get a call telling me that he is driving back. Last time he got lost in the backcountry... at night for ten hours, with no-one around for miles and miles... and I won't know any of this until he gets back home. I don't care if he can't call - send an email (they have wifi) or a message.
This time really irked me because the day I was leaving, I get home from a stressful day and he tells me I have to clean the house... because he's leaving. He said "you should wash the windows and vacuum, that way it will be clean when I get back." First, of course the house will be fine, secondly, why would I clean when I have no idea when he is coming home? He is sending our dog back down with his brother at some point, but I'm just supposed to sit around and expect them? It really bothered me that his brother started half his laundry, expecting me to finish it, while they are on vacation...
How can I NOT feel pissed off for the next 10 days? | BF left for a 10 day vacation, no-contact vacation. Expects a clean house. I'm pissed off. |
t3_2l4w45 | relationships | Me [21M] with my friend [22F] known her for a year, finally asked her out, but she's always busy | So yeah, I've known her for a year, did undergrad together and we're in the same Grad Program now. Always thought she was pretty, seemed smart and determined, things I typically like. Saw her dressed up really nice one day and it kinda just hit me or whatever (this isn't the important stuff I'm getting to that thought you'd like some background).
So last week I finally asked her out. She was receptive to it which was nice since I usually don't have much luck with girls. However, I run into some trouble when I try to work out a time for us to hang/get lunch/dinner. Thing is, on top of us being in Grad School, she's super involved. She's on the college's soccer team, though their season is close to being over, but that eats up a lot of time between games and practices and having to travel. She also takes part in a few other activities, like being in a sorority, that take up some opportune time.
Now, I don't fault her, I think all she does is pretty cool, and I did just start throwing things out there with no knowledge of her availability or anything. And I really think its innocent and not her blowing me off. She's a very straight forward person and wouldn't beat around the bush like that. However, it just seems like times in the past when chicks have been unable to be upfront and just leading with "maybes" so it gets confusing. I realize that I just need to ask her to let me know when she's free but I guess I'm overthinking how to do that.
If you've dealt with stuff like this before and want to pop in some advice that'd be appreciate. | How do I deal with trying to date someone who's pretty busy and how do I ask them to let me know when they're free without coming off like some needy prick or something? |
t3_2p3us4 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [28 F] of 4 years. She got fat, there's every indication she's going to get fatter. I can't. I cannot. But I feel bad and have no idea how to handle it. | We met in grad school and she was perfect. Fun, a little dorky, and sexy. Stunning, really. Now I sit here, four years later, and I barely recognize her. At just over 5 feet tall, she went from a well-proportioned 130 to her present state where she's surely pushing 185.
Our sex life is nonexistent. The cute, bubbly redhead I once knew now does absolutely nothing for me. The opposite of nothing, really. It's a turn-off. I'm as fit as I ever was, if not more so. If anything, I'm in my prime in terms of fitness. Meanwhile, I open a desk drawer, candy wrappers. Night stand drawer, candy wrappers. Coffee table top, living room floor, candy wrappers. Snack wrappers all over the car. It's clear at this point it's only going to get worse.
I can't deal with that. I can't deal with the lack of intimacy, the disappointment, the oxygen tanks, the diabetes, the CPAP machines.
And yet, I feel bad. I know I'm going to break up with her soon. All the "I love you's" I thought I had said in earnest now count for nothing. I don't even know what to say. How to handle it. If I try to pull the vague "it's just not working out" thing, she's going to press me for answers. I'm really not sure if I should just come out and tell her why, if I should try to make something up that'll probably just end up sounding ridiculous anyway, if I should just not give a reason? I've never had to deal with anything like this before. | Long-term gf got obese and I'm breaking up with her. Not sure how to handle it gracefully. |
t3_3xavkj | Advice | How can I get my friend how acts like a robot to open up? | The person that I'm trying to get advice about is a friend I've known since middle school and I have always been with him since. The one thing my friend is notorious for doing is acting like a robot. Not in a weird autonomous movement thing, but that he honestly doesn't care about things. When someone asks him about an opinion he just shrugs because it's not something he agrees or disagrees with. He doesn't do anything special or different. He wears similar clothes everyday with the same black jacket and black shoes and jeans. He's an avid redditor as well but I doubt he subscribes to this subreddit. We've spent a lot of time together because of things like band and advanced placement classes. My mom knows his family well because my mom just happens to know most of my friends family and told me to get something for my friend for christmas. Yet this is one of the most challenging things I have done because for as long as I have known my friend I do not have a clue on what to get him for christmas. I even gave up and asked him what he wanted for christmas and told him it couldn't be money. He said he didn't really celebrate Christmas (which is something I knew) but I had asked him to think of it as a gift and if he wanted anything because he doesn't want or need anything. I started feeling bad because he does deserve something this Christmas because he has a weird tendency to start openly helping people whenever they become really emotional. It is a rare occurrence that I haven't truly experienced myself. I just want to get a moment like that for him to open up and tell me things that he does have an opinion for. | My friend is a person that honestly shrugs a lot of things off and doesn't care and I want to give him something for Christmas but don't know what to do to get him to tell. |
t3_4nzcpb | relationships | [22M] My supervisor [26M] at work made my life a living hell and gave me back massages. Ive since quit but should i do anything about him? | Wassup reddit,
Long story short: I worked at a university desk job as a student for over a year. In the beginning i was extremely professional and work centered but my supervisor made things extremely difficult. He would give me back rubs while i was logging in and constantly tell me to "come out of my shell". I told him in no uncertain terms i was not interested and his back rubs made me uncomfortable. He told me he was christian and in-fact trying to find a wife. He stopped but afterwards he made my life very uncomfortable and would constantly play mind games with me. One day i would be "too withdrawn" the next day i would be "unprofessional". I would constantly have to sit in his office for an hour after work while he ranted about my perceived slight. Finally almost a year later i quit during finals week because i had enough of his wierd obsession with me. I have asked around and im not the only person hes given back rubs too.
Its been a couple months and im looking for a job at the moment so im hesitant to say anythinng in regards to what he does at work for fear of getting a bad-mouthed refference. Should i say fuck it and do it anyway? If so how would i go about it? I feel like im being petty but at the same time i feel like he "grooms" the younger guys so to speak. | Creepy manager used to give me back rubs and play mind games with me. I have since quit, should i report him? and if so how? |
t3_2ykhag | relationships | Me [23 F] with my Boyfriend [25 M] of 3 months, I'm jealous of his relationship with his best friend | I want to preface this by saying that I know that 3 months is a short amount of time. We've only known each other for about 4/5 months but already I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. We had a great connection from the beginning and have already told each other we love the other.
So he had mentioned his friend, Rose, before in passing. He told me that she was his best friend but they had a falling out awhile back because of some money that she lent him. They weren't speaking when we started dating. Fast forward a month into our relationship (after he started mentioning me in posts on FB) and she starts texting him. They began to hang out again and talk on the phone sometimes. I work and he's currently unemployed and they hang out while I'm working which really bothers me. I've talked to him about this before and he's told me that I have nothing to worry about and that he wouldn't talk to anybody if they even hinted at having feelings for him. I trust him. I know that he wouldn't cheat on me.
My issue is with how close they were/are. They would regularly hang out and she was a big part of his life. She was constantly with him and his family at family events. I guess I feel threatened because they weren't talking and when I came into the picture, she suddenly wants to be back into his life.
I guess my question is how do I get over this and not let it destroy my relationship. He wants me to meet her and hang out with her so I get more comfortable with her as a friend but I would just rather avoid the situation. I've asked him to not mention her because it does put me in a bad mood. But I've also asked him to not stop talking to her. I don't want him to resent me for asking him to not talk to a good friend. I know what that's like from past relationships. | My bf's former best friend started talking to him again when we started dating which bothers me. How do I get over it? |
t3_k85pe | self | Having HP replace my HDD but I don't know about their privacy policy. | My HDD in my laptop took a dump on me recently. I was still within my warranty and called HP. They said they would send me a new one free of charge, as long as I sent in my old one back. I've looked all over the web and on their website and couldn't find their privacy policy.
A little nervous to turn in my HDD due to the amount of music, movies, and games I did not purchase. I don't have anything SUPER illegal like snuff films or cp, just stuff I got off of TPB. So my question is can they go in and check my stuff? If they find my music, movies, and games can they pursue legal actions? | Have to send in my HDD to be replaced and have stuff downloaded that I did not purchase. Can I get in trouble? |
t3_wn2o8 | running | Ladies of /r/running; a personal question about a man's body | So I've been pretty solid running for about a year now. From my starting weight of over 400lbs, I'm almost to the 299 mark. About a month ago or so, I purchased a new bike to help cross train. My whole experience has been losing weight the safe and natural way; by hard work and dedication.
Well a friend of mine noticed the other day that I have what people call 'fat guy legs'. The muscle definition is starting to break, and it's kind of like something out of a Conan movie. My legs are HUGE. My friend is blaming it on the biking and running, and suggested that I lay off of the bike for a while. My body fat is 34%, down from 55%; but my legs look like they belong in a freaking body building competition.
Should I lay off the bike, and let my legs chill a bit? Are massive legs a turn off for women? | My legs are huge muscle factories that make other guys look like little school girls.... should I be worried about that (in a woman's eyes)? |
t3_3cbibd | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of almost two years. Falling out of love and don't know what to do. | Hey everyone. Throwaway because my bf knows my real username and knows that I spend much time in the subreddit.
I've meet my bf in college and he was a year ahead of me. We started dating in my second year. I've recently graduated so I'm back at my hometown. This last year I also spent it with my bf because his masters degree was in the same college, so we slept together almost everynight of the week. I'm going to do my masters in a different college in a different city, but I'm probably going to stay at my parents house during it (it's 30 minutes away) and also working to save money for my own house and help my parents.
My bf's hometown is 40 minutes away and now he will also live with his parents and try to find a work in his field to save money as well.
We already talked about moving together when we have the money to do it.
My bf is a really good guy, he loves me to the moon and back and makes me really fell that. He trully is a good and sweet guy.
I can't even explain where the problem is. Since we left our college, that I've only saw him once. Now I'm only going to see him in the end of this month.
Since we left I've been thinking a lot about us, and things that I could do if I wasn't in a relationship. I see myself not having the patient to respond to his messages or not wanting to answer his calls, but I do it anyway.
And other times I see myself smiling when I think about him.
Is this normal ? I honestly don't know what to do. I just would like to have an outside perspective. Has anyone also felt this and with time it passed ?
I really don't want to hurt him, and don't want to do anything that could compromise our relationship for something that I'm not even sure of. I feel like shit for felling this this.
Reddit, what do I do ? | Not spending time with my bf made me thing about a lot of "what if?"'s. Don't know what to do or if this is normal, and feeling like shit. |
t3_1diz6z | dating_advice | Is she (19F) interested in me (21M)? | So, I met this girl at the library while I was studying for an exam. We talked for about 20 minutes until she got called away by a co-worker to do some work (she works at the library). The next day I saw her again and after talking for a while asked her out on Saturday to go get frozen yogurt (she mentioned she liked it earlier in the convo). She said she was out on Saturday but I got her number. Had a conversation with her via text and ended up saying " hahahah, good good. I was thinking you could meet my dog ziggy. Want to come for a walk on friday around lunch?"
She responded "Aweee that would be fun! :) can I take a rain-cheque? I'm out Friday as well :("
Me: hahaha, no worries. Err the weekend is pretty busy. So we will have to plan something out for next week. If anything ill see you on monday and we can plan something then.
Her: :) yeah definitely! Well plan it out on monday :)
Me: Sounds good!
Her: C: ! | girl seemed interested, asked her out on 2 dates, said she was busy on both but still seemed interested in taking a rain check. I am wondering if she is interested or if I'm going to be wasting my time. |
t3_1tsrk1 | dating_advice | Beautiful girl [25F] gives me [22M] her number tonight; is tomorrow afternoon too soon to text? | I work at a women's clothing store. This evening I spent roughly an hour helping this sweet girl find clothing. At the end of the transaction she leaves her number on the counter and says "That's my number, by the way" and walks away.
I'm really interested in her, but I haven't dated since high school. So I'm not up on my text game as well as I used to be. Ha Anyway, the guys at work all told me to wait three days to text her, but why wait and play games if I'm interested now?
Would texting her tomorrow afternoon just be way too soon? I'd much rather text her in the evening, but I don't get off work until 11. And by then I'm entering bed-time or booty-call hours. I know there's no hard and fast, rule. However, I'm hoping you could shed some light on my particular scenario (I searched for other similar ones through this subreddit, but came up empty-handed).
Much appreciated! | Nice girl gives me her number while I'm working. I'm interested and don't want to play games. Is texting the next day (18 hours later) far too soon in this day and age? |
t3_1l7e22 | pettyrevenge | Act like a cheese dick = more work for you | I've been at my current job for 3.5 months (accounting). One of the employees has been here since 1995. Let's call him CD (cheese dick). He's kinda old, definitely crotchety, works crazy hours and doesn't feel he needs to follow all the proper protocols in getting paperwork required before we start work on a customer order. He works with the customers to get their orders.
I've been trying for two weeks to follow up on a mistake that originated from another dept but requires info from him because he has to talk with the client. I wasn't given some of the information. Actually, pretty much all of it. He verbally bitchslapped me for not having info that I need to bill the customer. You know, so we get paid and can PAY PAYROLL AND BILLS. Kinda important. Then he calls and bitches me about about an incorrect invoice I sent two weeks ago. I need to investigate and see where the mistake is - not saying he's wrong, perhaps I did make the mistake, but guess what CD - I'm in the middle of payroll so it's taking a backseat. Even though I told him I would look into it, find the mistake, correct it and try to reinvoice it today he kept hammering at me, "you did it wrong."
Revenge time.
I help cover phones. So, for the next few weeks I am going to direct ANYONE who calls and asks specifically for him, for quotes on jobs, or information about our company to his cell phone, phone extension AND email. They can contact him ANYTIME. Generally the quotes and info are spread out among six employees.
I hope at least a few of them are four or more time zones away and call him at 5am. | Jerk coworker yells at me, will get all new customer calls AND current customer calls. Can contact him anytime. |
t3_1321z6 | relationships | My girfriend (21F), of 3 months, is pregnant and we're having an abortion. I (22M) want to know how to help her through this. | Context: She wanted to tell me because she wants me to know what is going on but she doesn't want me to be there all the time, just when she wants my help as she's got good friends and family that are helping her through this.
Everything was going really well (and still is bar this rather massive hiccup) so she want's it to continue, so she's distancing herself from me just so I don't see the horrible stuff.
What I'm asking for is advice from anybody who has been in this situation before. How to help her through visits and any following trauma she'll suffer.
I'm also freaking out a bit as well, can't get my head into uni work or anything knowing that she's going through all this. I think this will be aided by the knowledge that I'm helping her though, so advice on how to help her out is the main thing.
Obviously we have been reckless in letting this happen so I don't need birth control lectures. | GF of short time is having an abortion, how do help/not go mental in my final year of uni? |
t3_2vyn4j | relationships | I [24 M/F] broke up with my girlfriend [24 M/F] (2years relationship), because i'm too poor to gift on valentine's day | I'm a 24 year old student. I work 2 part time jobs to make ends meet. I'm on my own,due to several problems with family, they decided to cut me out. So I met this girl and she seemed nice. We kept talking and going out on occasions and decided to give it a shot.
2 Years and not a single big fight, just some quarrels from time to time nothing major. So yesterday, i bought her a perfume, and seeing that i had no more money left i told her we have to spend Valentine's day at home.
And she exploded saying things like " How dare you say we spend Valentine's day at home/How come you have no more money/All the things you have done for me so far are meaningless, you didn't do anything special look at the other guys what their plans for Valentine are/etc etc" So i decided to break up.
Now she calls me saying that she is sorry and she wants us back together and i'm here wondering what would happen in the future if i say sorry i'm too poor to go out or buy expensive gifts. I am really confused
Edit1: She is mad because i bought the perfume that was on sale, and that it didn't show how much she means to me because it was too cheap... holy shit
Edit2: Thank you all for your support, it's officially over. I wasn't a perfect boyfriend but at least i did my best and i'm happy to know that i gave it all my possible.I'm sad and hurt and feeling lonely, i'll try to talk to my parents perhaps they changed their minds and will take me back... | Girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because i'm too poor to make plans for Valentine, now she wants us back together, What to do? |
t3_3ck0vo | relationships | My [F28] husband [M30] and I decided to no longer continue our marriage 2 days before his birthday, and I am distraught over it. | No throw aways, no name changes. He knows my user name and I know his, but it isn't a secret, so yeah.
I am using my phone to post so excuse any format or grammar weirdness.
Dave, my husband, and I have been through a lot together. We started dating when we were 15 and 17 and have since experienced love, loss, and heart break together. He was my rock and I was his. Unfortunately though there is something missing in the relationship that we can't really put a finger on and fix.
Our marriage ending isn't about one of us no longer loving the other, nor is it because someone did something wrong. It's because we aren't able, as a unit, to provide eachother with a healthy relationship. I don't know why. Believe me, we have tried. And that's the most heart wrenching part for me, we both tried our hardest and it just didn't work.
Last night after an argument of sorts, we decided it was time to throw in the towel. Despite how strongly we feel for one another. Which is bad enough, but my husband's 31st birthday is Friday. We don't have a lot of money and I tried very hard to scrape together what I had to throw him a very modest party. Now we agreed last night that we cannot be friends right now, even though he's my very best friend and I his, because we will end up just fucking with each other's emotions. Not intentionally of course.
I don't know what to do now about his birthday. He's still so special to me and means so much. His family is shit and they don't care enough to take the time to even call him on his birthday. He doesnt have too many friends so i cant really turn to them either.
I still want him to know he is loved and that his birthday means something. He's a cancer survivor so to me every single one of his birthdays is a gift.
Please reddit, tell me what to do. | husband and I are seperating amicably but cannot be friends at this time because of emotions and what not. His birthday is Friday and I still want him to feel special and loved. Don't know what to do. |
t3_jpmlv | AskReddit | Me and my girlfriend just broke up last night, don't know what to do next | We just broke up from a 3 year relationship last night. Lately we've been in lots and lots of arguments, and last night we decided (together) that we should break up to pursue our interests (no mutual interests).
It hurt like fuck but I think it was the best thing to do. Problem is, I'm an 18yo with social anxiety and four friends - three of which are originally my girlfriend's. We said we would still be friends but that seems far in the future. Hopefully I won't lose contact with my other friends because of the breakup.
I have absolutely no idea what do now. Life seems dull and it's hard to find something to hold on to, something to keep fighting for.
So far I've been able to watch some episodes of Smallville, eat ice cream and cookies. Haven't had such an appetite for real food. I feel like piss right now. | 18yo who just broke up with his girlfriend after 3 years, at loss what I should do to ease the pain or somehow make life seem a little bit brighter. |
t3_1p0qk0 | relationships | I (M25) have no idea whats going on in this girl(F23)'s brain. Met 3 years ago | A few years back, I met this girl, through a mutual friend at a party. She's complicated, and cute and stubborn and we have so much of the same outlook on life.
We're both outgoing enough but I think when it comes to relationships theres a mutual anxiety around intamacy and dating thats difficult to overcome. It's made things kind of difficult and somewhat awkward at times.
Initially we went on two dates which went fantastic, but for some reason it wasn't enough to keep us dating. I would resolve to just let her go but ever since we stopped seeing eachother 2 years ago theres been this wierd back and forth between us. I try chasing her, and she won't let me get close to her, I back off and when ever I see her she gives me these pathetic looks like "why did you stop?"
Lately, Ive been seeing her pretty regularly at school, but I've kind of been ignoring her (which is bad, I know) out of frustration. She continues to shoot me those "pathetic looks."
I think most people reading this would say the best thing to do is to talk to her. Problem is I've tried talking to her in the past. Despite my own anxiety, I've gone into great detail about how I feel about this but she doesn't share her thoughts. Back when we were dating she confronted me about taking to long to text her back but after very little discussion she just said "nevermind, I was just f*cking with you" and I never got to understand why it bothered her. This is a pretty consistant pattern with her and I am so close to just giving up because I feel like trying to talk to her would just be doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
Anyway if someone has any suggestions on how to gradually indroduce a MUTUAL conversation about what the hell is going on it'd be really appreciated. I don't want to give up on this girl, she's really special and we've had some really wonderful moments together. | I (M25) am trying to figure out how to get this girl (F23) to share whats going on in her head. |
t3_54gdbx | relationships | Me [35 M] and SO [42 F] moved together @ my place after 18 months - money, what is fair? | My girlfriend just moved in. She bought a lot of stuff, a closet, child proofing (her son, insemination kid from before we met), payed for the moving company, curtains and such.
I rented a room to my sister for a year and she moved out last month, before my GF was able to move in, so had higher rent.
First off - this is not an issue between us at all.
I'm wondering what is fair, she payed for a lot of things, I would like to pitch in, she says "no, you had the double rent" etc, but I fear she is being way too nice and screwing herself over.
So, basically, I would like to split it in half, but then I think; She's moving into a huge apartment I've spent 3 years making nice, with Sonos and a nice high fi and Hue lights everywhere, painted, fixed floors, new dish washer, oven, fridge etc. She gets to use all this.
But still - she didn't ask me for any of the above.
Point is, I don't want to be an ass, but both things seem like something you can defend.
What is fair? | girlfriend moved in, bought furniture for herself, payed movers, gets to use my things - do I pay half of hers or is the score even? |
t3_3deybk | relationships | Me [21F] with my brother [14 M]. He told me he was doing drugs and started having sex. Now he won't go to get tested with me. | So my younger brother confided in me that he has started doing recreational drugs and he is now sexually active with his 14 year old girlfriend. I am flattered that he has trusted me with this information, but now I am troubled. I started having sex at 15 and experimented with pot around the same age, so I can relate to his situation but I made an active effort to educate myself about sexual health and got myself tested regularly. I have tried my best to inform him about pregnancy and sexual health (he thought that there is only one STD and claims that his "pull out game is strong" SMFH.) Our parents gave none of us any Sex-Ed talks growing up so I have offered to buy him condoms and pay for a trip to Planned Parenthood when I go home to visit my family next week. He is refusing to go currently because he thinks it will be "awkward". I don't want to tell my parents and betray his trust, but I don't know what to do. He needs to be sexually educated and tested if he is going to be sexually active. Also, I am troubled by him asking me about Molly and LSD.... Should I just tell my mom? She is my best friend, but he will more than likely never trust me after this. | My younger brother is making adult decisions and is uneducated about his sexual health and how drugs can effect him. Do I squeal or not? |
t3_3q43z4 | relationships | I'm [15M] afraid of feeling guilty after breaking up with my girlfriend [16F] | The reasons for myself being guilty for breaking up with her comes from two main reasons, those two reasons being is her intelligence, and the physical distance in between us.
For the first reason, she's just not as smart as I would like my girlfriend to be. She's a fun person to be around, but this type of thing is a deal-breaker for me and it might be shallow. Like I'll be getting good grades in my classes while she cares about her grades as well but still gets B's and C's.
The second reason is because we met online, and the physical distance between us is too big to see each other very often in real life. I'm living in Massachusetts while she's in southern east coast, not to mention our age makes it difficult to see each other as well.
Overall though, I like hanging out with her as a friend ( and an attractive female friend, mind you ) but I still would need to recover from a breakup like this so I'm not sure if that would be possible without being encouraged into another relationship which would probably end in the same manner.
Reddit, what do you suggest I do? Am I acting shallow and selfish and if I did break up with her, how could I break it to her the reasons why I'm breaking up with her without hurting her feelings? | Thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend who lives far away from me because she isn't as smart as I'd like her to be and the physical distance between us. |
t3_4g8syh | relationships | How do I [24F] establish trust in dating again after being burned multiple times? | I have been online dating for about two years now and have had nothing but disappointment. The person I was with [24M] last just ended things at random, despite having a great time together. We had so many shared interests and would go on a bunch of fun dates (always shared the bill, if you're wondering.) When we weren't together, we would send your typical cute texts and snapchat pics to each other. He would send me texts saying "being with you is one of the best decisions I'll make" and would frequently make plans for our future.
Suddenly though that all changed. He started to become more distant and not wanting to hang out as often and was always too busy to see me. He also would reply to texts less frequently and was just generally more distant. He broke things off a couple days later saying he had too many family issues and busy work schedule to include me in his life. I noticed he had reactivated his online dating account though, so that was pretty much a lie because he apparently has time to look for someone else.
I just don't understand what could have gone wrong if everything was fine a couple weeks prior. This is the third time I've been in this situation with someone I've been dating and I have lost trust in dating and looking for someone. Has anyone else experienced this? | Relationship goes well for 2 months then all of a sudden I get broken up with. Losing faith in meeting someone, any suggestions? |
t3_3bpvnd | relationships | My overweight parents [67m 60f] are putting me [22F] on a low-carb low-fat diet even though I am at a healthy weight | Hello r/relationships,
I (22f) have recently graduated from college and am living at home with my parents until I find steady employment. For some context, I am 5'7" and weight 145 lbs which puts me at a BMI of 22.7 which is right in the middle of the healthy zone. Both of my parents are overweight, but my dad is doing Atkins and seeing results. My mother "wants" to diet, but she can't bring herself to do so.
Since I've been home, my parents have been nitpicking at what I eat for meals. My father wants me to cut out bread, grains, and carbohydrates ALL together. I told him that I wouldn't mind eating a lower fat diet, but I felt as though a normal amount of carbs was important. His response was that I should do low-carb and low-fat.
My mother just agrees with what he says all the time. She won't let me have a glass of wine at night anymore without making it a spritzer (half wine, half club soda).
If I had enough income to purchase my own food this wouldn't be an issue, but living under their roof means they control everything. Yes, I would like to get rid of what little stomach pudge I have, but for my own reasons and not because my parents think I'm fat.
I just want my parents to accept me at my healthy weight instead of making 75% of our conversations about my weight. It is making living there very difficult.
Advice? | My overweight parents are forcing me (not-overweight) to go on a crazy diet and I don't know how to get out of it. |
t3_sjqmn | BreakUps | Broke up with a girl (she's become a stage 5 clinger) | So, you guys, I am dating a girl whom I am pretty sure is a little bit nuts. I (30/m) and she (27/f) had met online at a popular dating website that rhymes with Senty of Mitch and had been dating for about a month and a half. Well, she got busy and we didn't see each other for a few weeks.
A week prior to her getting busy with school work, her son, and holding a job, I had broken up with her one night only to take her back the next day when she came to my house crying hysterically about how ugly she must be because I didn't like her and such. Well, I sent her out with her stuff and said we should break up.
At first, I talked to her a bit, and I admit that sometimes I did actually miss her, but we broke it off and I wanted to stick to it. Well, she doesn't seem to be getting the net.
I haven't answered a call from her in a few days, but she continues to call. Last night, she called to say that she wants me to send her pictures I took when we went on dates together. She also wants a cookie sheet back. I, on the other hand, let her borrow a hoddie one night and I have yet to get that back. I have parted ways with it and her, but she hasn't yet and I am nervous that she may come to my apartment when I don't want her to. Not that she can get in, but it's just the thought ya know? The worst part is, she lives an hour away.
I'm not really asking a question, just wondering if this is normal or what I should do? | — Broke up with a girl a few days ago for the SECOND and final time in a month in a half relationship and she continues to call me despite me not answering the phone. |
t3_1b98dz | cats | I'm looking for a good home for my cat (in/near Chicago) (x-post from r/pets) | It pains me to do this but I no longer have the time or the energy to take care of my cat. I got her when I was 11 and now I'm in school and working, and about to start law school. She's now 13 and likes things... just so. She's a very sweet cat, but gets too high-maintenance when she's left alone for long hours, which has been happening increasingly often for me. She's free to a good home, but it must be that: a good home (for her situation). She likes dogs but doesn't always get along with cats. A retiree or a family with children that aren't too young would be perfect. | I'm trying to find a home for my senior, very sweet, but somewhat needy cat because I'm just too busy at this point in my life. She likes dogs but doesn't always get along with cats. |
t3_3f7z0f | relationships | Me [31F] with my husband [37M] of 8 years, after a miscarriage I want to start trying again immediately and he doesn't | My husband and I went through a heartbreaking miscarriage a few weeks ago. It was just after the first trimester and completely unexpected. We both are/were devastated.
My OB/Gyn said we could try again as soon as the bleeding stopped, which it has by now. I told my husband that I want to start trying right away and I feel like the only thing that will heal this hole in my heart is having a healthy baby.
My husband wants me to go visit my best friend for a week or two before we start trying again. He thinks that it is too soon and he wants me to be able to "live a little" before I get pregnant again. My pregnancy made me extremely sick and I was basically puking into the toilet or lying on the couch for two months straight. It was really bad.
I have absolutely no desire to do this trip, getting pregnant again as soon as possible is the only thing I care about right now. He is insisting that it will be good for me because I don't have any friends in the area (we moved here for his job) and that I should be able to enjoy myself. But I won't be able to enjoy myself because I just want to be pregnant again.
I have told him over and over that I just want to be pregnant and I don't want to take a trip. How can I communicate this to him and get through to him? | After devastating miscarriage my husband won't start trying again until I take a "fun" trip to go visit my best friend. I just want to start trying again right away. |
t3_1zbfqa | personalfinance | I am holding the check of my old 401 to see if market goes down before I send it to Vanguard | I opened a traditional IRA account with Vanguard. Then asked my old employers 401 to send my retirement savings to Vanguard. They send it to me instead, is not under my name, not payable to me, but to the order of Vanguard Fiduciary FBO my name.
Check is good for 180 days, so I am keeping the check praying for Market to have a hiccups so I can buy more cheap shares with my money.
I will wait 120 days, if Market goes down, my check will buy more shares. If Market keeps going up, well I will miss two months of growth, hopefully not big deal.
What you think? Bad idea?
Are the odds with me? | I am holding my rollover check at home praying for the Market to go down before I turn it in to Vanguard. Crazy idea? |
t3_3u0kft | dating_advice | Putting all my eggs in one basket too soon? | I'm starting to get the feeling that I am. We've gone on several dates over the last three weeks. They've been great, but things are moving veeeeery slowly. I kissed her after a couple of dates, which progressed into making out after another couple of dates. She definitely seems interested, and makes a lot of time to see me.
The only thing that throws me for a loop is that we've only been talking for three weeks, and the fact that we barely text in between – usually just short burst once or twice a day. Also, I've usually slept with someone after 3 or so weeks - things seem to automatically fall into place at that point.
Maybe that's normal, maybe that isn't. The point is, I'm slightly worried that I'm zoning in too quickly. I told the other girl I was talking to that I was really interested in someone, and that I didn't want to lead her on. | It's only been a few weeks, and I'm not really sure where things are going yet, even though they seem to be going rather well. |
t3_1lekbh | relationships | I [22M] ended a 2 year relationship with a [20F] that should have ended a lot earlier. | I just need to tell my story, and hopefully it might help out other redditors going through similar situations.
So, the relationship lasted a little over two years before I finally manned up and ended it. We started out great, always holding hands, going on fun little trips, and always joking around. This lasted about a year. After that, things changed, I started to feel like hanging out was more of a chore than for my enjoyment, I put up with her little things that bothered me (not going out with my friends because she didn't trust me fully, (due to a previous relationship) , getting frustrated with me for things that I had no control over, etc.) for about a year, and it finally pushed me to my breaking point. I knew I should have broken up with her after a year but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to hurt her. I tried to keep a happy face even though it was hard. I started to plan other things to avoid hanging out with her, it was pretty bad. My main point is anyone that is going through a similar situation, you're unhappy but just can't end it because you're afraid of hurting them, just end it. You'll be happier, they will get over it eventually, and it will be better for everyone. I'm much happier now than I was for the past year.
It's going to suck for a little bit, but it will get better. | if you are unhappy in your relationship, but are scared to hurt your SO, just end it. You're just going to hurt them more by delaying it. |
t3_2tqkb1 | needadvice | I'm stuck in an awkward position? | Forgive me if I sound like a dumbass, but I don't know anything about the real world. But anyways, I'm 18, and I need advice. Right now I am working a full time job with a wage of $16/hr, and I'm living with my Dad.
Right now I'm planning on saving money to go to college for police studies for two years and then eventually apply at my local police agency. But here's my problem, a police agency will most likely not hire someone who's been living his Dad for that long after getting out of high school.
So what I'm trying to do is SOMEHOW move out before I go to college, but then I'll have to quit my job because of school and then get a part-time job. The minimum wage in my province(I live in Canada) is $9.20 so a job at a restaurant or something will not pay for an apartment here in my city - but I want to look professional to a future employer. Help? | I wanna go to college and move out, but a minimum wage job won't pay for any type of living while in school. Help? |
t3_r20oe | BreakUps | Over a month of NC and just received a text from ex's brother. Help? Please? | A little background: I'm a 26(f) and a few nights ago I received a text from the brother of my ex-bf (22m). Our relationship lasted a little over a year.
We had a really painfully drawn out breakup that began in October of last year and finally fully ended at the end of January. The whole time he was telling me he wanted to take a break and that he was confused about wanting to be in a relationship, it turned out he had started seeing another girl. He lied to me at the time and never actually admitted he cheated.
We went NC (his decision and at the time he said it was to "stop hurting me" but it was actually so he could pursue his new relationship) in January and I've been doing much better. There are some days where it feels just like day one, but for the most part, I can feel myself moving on. When his brother sent me the first text, my heart stopped. It was a simple greeting and I responded with something short and sweet, but gradually he began telling me how bad things have been for the past few months (I didn't ask details, so I still have no clue if he means bad with him, their family or with his brother). He told me how much he doesn't like my ex's new girlfriend and that he'd like us to get back together. He said that his brother was just being dumb and he wants to play cupid and help us rekindle things.
This killed me a little for two reasons: I now have confirmation that my ex is still with his new girlfriend and I really wished that those words were coming from him instead of his brother.
I feel like this text exchange set me back. I need to know why his brother waited til now to contact me and if my ex knows he did (I know this is something that can't be answered here). To avoid these little set backs in the future, do I ignore any other texts from his brother? We were close, although obviously not close enough for him to let me know his brother was lying to me. | Ex's older brother contacted me after a little over a month of NC with the ex. Set me back. Should I ignore any future contact? |
t3_1c6tu5 | relationships | How do I know when to make the next step when we (27F/27M) are both trying not to? | Background: We dated for about 4 months 4 years ago. I (27F) started wanting more. He (27/M) did not. No hard feelings were had, just figured out we wanted different things.
In Between: We both entered into similar long term relationships. We each dated and lived with our ex for a little over 2 years. The 2 year relationships ended poorly for both of us.
Current: We recently found each other again. We have so much fun together! It seems like a great friendship again but when we do hang out we try to make it completely clear that we aren't trying to get into anything serious for a long time. We are both enjoying the shit out of our newly acquired independence.
We didn't have great communication in the past and I still have trouble with expressing my feelings around him. Our communication IS clear on what we want from each other, however. That has always been something we have been able to talk about seriously and agree on. A relationship is the opposite of what I need from him. However, a relationship is something I WANT from him. I think about him constantly and always think of things we can do together. We have been dating for about 4 months and I am terrified of repeating the history and losing him to the same "not being on the same page" shit.
The more I see him and spend time with him the more I want to be with him more seriously (i think?). How do I know when to move to the next step? How do you move from not wanting anything to wanting it all?
Side Note: He genuinely tells me he loves me when he's drunk...a lot. We never talk about feelings any other time. | I want it, but I don't. He wants it, but he doesn't. How do you know when it's time to just say fuck it and go for it? |
t3_3n0ci7 | relationships | Me [19M] and my new college friends [19M] (since one year); I feel left out. | I have some good friends in college: we attend lessons together, cooperate for exercizes, we talk a lot about common stuff like girlfriends, freetime etc... We've had a few parties together too. So we're real good friends since more than a year. None of us knew each other before we started college. They have never signaled that I fall short as a friend or that I'm "a different kind of friend".
Yet I feel they don't engage me enough in social life. They'd go out a night with some other people I don't know and talk about it next day in class to each other and to me, but wouldn't ask me to join.
I once even asked if they were planning something and they answered "Yeah ... No hard feelings but we planned with a couple of other guys that don't know you and that would be a bit weird maybe."
I don't get it. How can one ever expand his social network? How did my friends A and B get to know the friends of my friend C, but I did not? (Again: me, A, B and C did not know each other before college, yet A and B are now acquainted with C's original friends from other disciplines while I am not.)
So how can I become more engaged? How can I get to know other people, the friends of my friends; how could I get them to introduce me to them?
I always get stuck in this situation: I have a few good friends (good friends I say!) but nevertheless I never learn to know their friends. They become more friendly with each other and each other's friends from previous lives, but I don't and I'm left alone. | how to get more friends, starting from a few good ones, and avoid that your friends form a tighter group without you |
t3_4h7c99 | relationships | I (18F) have been with my SO (21M) for about a year, but I have yet to meet friends/close family. Am I being ridiculous? | Okay! We've been inseparable since the day we met. We're generally really happy, with some small fights every now and then but we communicate well and our version of fighting is more like voicing something and having an emotional chat about it - not yelling or low blows.
He moved across the country about a month before we met, so it's not like we've had a ton of opportunity to meet his family, except that his one and only sibling lives less than an hour away and he would go visit every few weekends. I have met a friend of his from middle school who happens to live in a city where we went for a daytrip, and I met an estranged cousin for about 15 minutes outside of a concert. No one that he talks to on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis.
Neither of us are big on social media, but I still have a few photos of us together whereas he has none. To his credit, he puts photos on ig about once every 4 months and they're pretty much just ~aesthetic~ type photos, and deleted his facebook a long time ago. I still feel like I'm just being kept in the shadows.
We're starting to delve into serious relationship territory, as our college is a two year program meaning he's about to graduate and then I graduate six months later (I started early, he started late) and we are seriously considering a life together and the compromises that would mean, moving away from one of our families to be close to another or neither, etc. This is just a major thing holding me back right now. :/ I have been "hidden" from families of ex's before, almost 100% of my ex's have hidden me for some reason or another (and not all of them were cheating), but my past experience with this is making me extra nervous about getting serious with him.
I've brought this up before (that it makes me uncomfortable due to past experience in similar situations) and his response is just "huh, I didn't realize I don't really post about you" and a promise to make it more clear, but nothing changes after the fact. | Been with my SO for one year, paranoid about not meeting anyone close to him due to past experience despite lack of opportunity to really meet them anyway, want an outside pov. |
t3_11llo0 | relationships | My boss[??] is going to crush my[27] career and it's giving me a panic attack | Don't really know where to post this...
My boss has 0 experience in management as far as I know. I think she's old and hasn't transitioned her approaches in a way that I can succeed. She's conferred in me that she has problems with stress. I only recently signed on and I'm still in probitionary status. We work in healthcare. She's a consultant, so her cred is based strictly on her subject knowledge, and no doubt she knows a lot. I have analytical skills, so it seems like we were supposed to work as a pair to do things.
I am totally lost afloat in this job. I've been reprimanded because I don't get things done and despite having asked for help, I feel like it's falling on deaf ears. I show tons of face time to make up for it, but I'm rarely on task. Today, for instance, I have absolutely no progress.
My most recent reprimand was a notification that my probationary period has been extended. The librarian produced these articles about generational differences in the workplace which my boss latched on to. She shared them with me in hopes of saying, "Oh, I get you now." In fact, they were tremendously insulting and all boiled down to, "Millenials (me) are needy, entitled, want instant gratification, and are spoiled but they hold great potential somehow."
Despite this, there has been little change to how things are run. I feel like I'm totally in the dark about the necessary subject area. I don't know whom to approach or how to approach them. I'm literally at wits end.
In fact, I'm a very ambitious worker and I --perhaps I'm needy when I say-- there's been a total failure in training. I'm made to feel foolish whenever I show a lack of knowledge about subject areas. I think this job sucks, I'm going nowhere, but I'm left without options. HELP!!! | boss insinuates I'm needy and entitled, but I'm very lost and need help and could seriously look at being let-go. Switching jobs is *NOT* an option. What do I do? |
t3_2b28g7 | offmychest | Overwhelmed with my new job-seeking advice [no upvote] | I wasn't sure where to post so I ended up just venting out here. Any advice would be welcome.
I was recently hired by an understaffed small business and I don't know how much longer I can stay here. Originally, I was hired to do book keeping and account receivable/payable. I'm ok with that. I'm not ok with taking over project management!!! My boss, who is completely lost and incompetent, expects me to be :
* -Accountant
* -Receptionist
* -Project manager
* -Office clerk
We have several active projects and there is no follow-up system what so ever. Everything is in my boss's head. He expects me to make sens of the piles of papers/memos/post-its there are on 3 diff. desks not even filed or put in order and make a follow-up of all of it.
The last girl he had hired, quit after 2 days because she couldn't take the stress and the work load. I've been here a week, and I can already feel the pressure and stress building up.
I don't have experience in that kind of management and I am just starting to learn how to properly make Excel sheets. I've managed to build a sheet to follow-up on orders but my boss doesn't update me when he works on one. How am I suposed to be efficient like this?
I made the Excel sheet, now what? I ordered a filing box with folders to start organizing each project, so that the papers don't end up everywhere in the office and eventually lost. But then what!? I can't read minds, I can't deal with customer, supplier, subcontractors etc...
I'm willing to study, take a course or use a new program. I just don't know where to start and where to go for help. | Boss is dropping heavy work load and too many responsabilities with no functional follow-up system. Need help to deal. |
t3_2cwl2k | relationships | Looking for advice regarding getting together with a girl [22f] after she breaks up with a friend [23m] of mine [25 m] to maintain social order | I have decided I am going to try to get with friend's girlfriend but I've run into a bit of snag.
I've known this girl for years and had a thing for her for nearly as long. I came to the conclusion that so far there hasn't been a 'good time' for me to make a move and so I recently told her how I felt. She told me that she felt the same, but we both agreed that it wouldn't be right for her to just leave the relationship she's in.
Fast forward a few months and now her boyfriend is living with some of my best friends and she and him are in and out of rough patches on the reg. I found a girlfriend in the meantime, but she is about to move across the country meaning that we will no longer be together.
I think their break up is inevitable (maybe with a little nudging from my end) but how do I socially maneuver the situation so that I can still hang out with my friends and begin to see the girl in question? I don't really care about my friendship with her boyfriend, but I'd like to be able to still see my other friends and party at their house like we do now. Any ideas?
I have no preconceived notion that this will work out with ease. I'm mostly looking for advice on how to go about this with the most tact possible | I want to date a friend's girl friend when they break up but want to keep the social situation as peaceful as possible |
t3_3mr80z | relationships | Me [26 F] with my SO [25 M] of 2 years, having some struggles. What kind of struggles have you experienced in your relationship? How did you get through them? How did you know that you should stay and work it out vs. leave? | Currently having a hard time in my relationship. The honeymoon phase was more perfect than perfect but now that its over, lots of struggles and stress from finances, long distance, career choices, etc.
It also doesn't help that he doesn't really like to communicate his feelings or struggles as he doesn't want me to know about them. I end up feeling like I am not even a part of his life anymore. I have asked him to communicate more, and he said he would, but nothing has changed.
Although, when it comes down to it, I know that underneath all that stress, he really does love me.
So reddit, what are your relationship struggles like? How have you faced them? How did you know whether to stay and tough it out, or to go? | What kind of struggles have you experienced in your relationship? How did you get through them? How did you know that you should stay and work it out vs. leave? |
t3_1hse23 | relationships | Me[18M] with my Best Friend[18F] ~1yr, Trouble dealing with feelings. | I first met this girl at the start of senior year of high school. She had moved in from out of state with her grandparents. I had just gotten out of a rough relationship with my girlfriend of almost three years that had been cheating on me. She was troubled to say the least so through being able to talk to each other about what we had been going through brought us close.
We have talked about the possibility of a relationship but we have been worried about fucking up because we are complete wrecks when it comes to them. Its me especially I don't want to lose my best friend over something like that.
We have been pretty open with each other about our personal lives and people in our lives. But I am starting to feel like there is something about this girl that is special. Even my friends are starting to notice she is different to me. I think I could love this girl but I am to scared to act on any of these thoughts. | I think I love my best friend. Don't know how to deal with these thoughts in my head because I am scared to tell her. |
t3_2r8xlw | relationships | Me [20's M] with girl I've been dating [20's F] for about a month, Unintentionally lied to her about my STD and lost her trust. | I have been seeing a girl for about a month now and things were going absolutely fantastic. We both feel/felt very strongly towards each other.
Normally I sleep with girls I am seeing withing the first couple of dates, however I liked this girl so much that we held off on sex since we enjoyed each other company so genuinely much.
Fast forward to last night. She came over and I cooked her dinner and we watched a movie. She was very tired after to movie so decided to sleep over. So we both got ready for bed, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Like most mid-20s individuals would.
Here is where I lost her trust. I contracted Herpes a few years ago, I am on medication, am always sure to use protection and inform my partners. I had planned on telling her extremely soon, like this weekend. However, one thing led to another last night and in the heat of the moment I did not tell her.
So today I spoke to her about it and naturally she is extremely upset and is having a hard time trusting me. I cannot blame her. I made a massive mistake. She is not upset with the fact I am HSV positive, but that I didn't inform her.
I feel awful, just awful and want to make things right. I really like this girl. She wants her space, which I totally understand. I explained to her that I would do whatever it takes to earn her trust back. She agreed that would be very noble of me. I don't want to let her down. I can tell she is special even after only a month of dating.
What can I do to help alleviate the issue and help earn her trust back? | In the heat of the moment, didn't tell girl I was dating I have herpes and now I have lost her trust. How can I help make things right. |
t3_3iwjed | Cooking | Help: cooking several filet mignons at once for a party tomorrow. | I am the family grill master and bbq'er. When it comes to fire or smoke I'm usually the go to guy.
That being said my sister in law wants me to cook 8 filet mignons and 4 strip steaks for my brother in laws birthday tomorrow. The strip steaks are no problem. I cook steaks like that frequently.
However, I've never actually cooked a really thick lean steak like a filet mignon.
My first instinct is to pan sear with butter and then put into a super hot oven for a few minutes to finish it off. This isn't going to work for 8 steaks though so the next best tool is the gas grill. | looking for tips on cooking 8 filet mignon at once on a gas grill or oven or combination of the two. |
t3_44zrnp | relationships | Me [32 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] 4 years, her Fibro is ruining our relationship and I feel guilty | I've been with this girl for almost 4 years and things were pretty good for the most part. We had ups and downs but we always worked through them.
Now over the past year she has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I'm not sure if the pain has always been bad, or if maybe it just got worse over the last year, but it has gotten to the point that she barely does anything, and requires me to do most things for her, because she just doesn't have the energy, or she hurts too bad. She goes to work, but the moment she gets home she climbs into bed and just lays there. Sometimes on her laptop, sometimes doing nothing.
I really feel terrible for thinking this way, but I'm not sure I can handle this life. I always considered a relationship to be a partnership of sorts and now, I've got no back up and no one to turn to when I need support because of her illness. I want to be strong enough for her, but it's tearing me apart to not be able to rely on her. I'm now turning to my friends for emotional support more often, and her almost not at all, because I don't want to put more stress on her while she's suffering, but this feels like the beginning of the end. Am I a scum bag for not wanting this? For just wanting a normal relationship? Cause I feel like one. I feel like my love should be enough to keep me with her and taking care of her. I feel like a failure as a SO for not wanting to spend my life taking care of her. What can I do at this point to try to salvage it? | My gf was diagnosed with chronic pain and now I'm having to take care of her. I feel guilty for not wanting to be a caretaker, but don't know how to salvage what we had. |
t3_zii1z | AskReddit | Lets talk about zombie bank accounts... is it even legal? | So, I closed my Wells Fargo account and headed to the promise land of credit unions... best decision ever. My checks go through without any 3 day lag times, I can even deposit from my phone, I have yet to get a single charge for any of the completely lame things I used to, and I'm just mad I didn't do it sooner. Unfortunately for whatever reason, my Wells Fargo account reopened itself and is now allowing charges again?! It's a zombie account. I didn't even know this until I received a letter in the mail and a ton of collection calls about it. Turns out that instead of declining any incoming automatic charges you left linked to that account, like you would expect a bank to do, they "simply" reopen your closed account and charge you up the bum for it!
I was not told anything about this when I was closing the account, and I was pretty sure that I had closed the links to it all when I switched, but I missed 2 things- XM radio (which, only comes through once every 6 months or so) and renters insurance (which I got through the bank to start with, and also made several attempts to close that account). So now they have both charged the account, and the overdraft fees are piling up! WTF man. Are you, a big and powerful bank, really incapable of declining a charge? This is ridiculous.
I really really want to sue them with some sort of a class action law suite, but I get the feeling it won't go anywhere... there has to be SOMETHING I can do. I feel beat up and helpless, it's like a really bad relationship that just won't stop.. like the ex boyfriend that tracks down the girl and beats the crap out of her a few more times. I am done. I just want to be broken up with them already! *sigh*
(sorry for all the spelling/grammar errors... written through frustration on a phone.)
**So my question: is there anything I can do?! Any help you all give would be great. | I closed an account, it reopened when an auto payment I forgot about came through, now I owe over $200 in overdraft/fees. What can I do? |
t3_ijkdy | AskReddit | Need advice… Property management company stole from us | So we have been screwed over beyond comprehension and the shots just keep coming. I am hoping that someone on here has been through something similar or knows of a similar situation and can offer any kind of advice. I am out of options at this point.
So… three years ago my husband lost his job, out of a job two months, got an offer in another state, had to relocate across the country in two weeks, had to hire a property management company for home, A_ _ _ _ _ Properties, guy named P_ _ _ _. Last I heard from him was to negotiate an insurance check so the roofing company who did work on the home could be paid.
Just found out we are being sued by roofing company for that money which obviously never made it there. Got suspicious, checked on mortgage status… to my HORROR it was in foreclosure… had not been paid since December last year but rent was collected through April. We were never notified of foreclosure, because the mailing address was A _ _ _ Properties so statements would be mailed there, and there was no notice placed on the property so the renters were completely unaware too. He has disappeared, won't return calls or emails, still doing business in Austin, TX.
So… we hired a lawyer who ended up charging over $4200 to get foreclosure postponed two weeks. NO we don't have that kind of money… it was almost impossible to come up with half the retainer amount, $2500, now we owe another $1700… and for WHAT!?! Didn't accomplish anything, still going into foreclosure… still getting sued… no money to sue this A**HOLE for what he has done to us.
We are possibly working with mortgage company to do a short sale, so they don't come after us for the difference of the foreclosure amount in addition to everything else. | … $12,000 stolen from us by man which caused foreclosure and lawsuit against us then lawyer screwed us, still wants his money yet did nothing to help process… at a loss of what to do. AMA |
t3_yeu81 | offmychest | Why can't see just leave him alone? | I have a friend.
Lets call her, Jen. because I like that name.
Myself and Jen have been friends for a good few years now.
I'm also best friends with Tom.
Jen kind of entered our circle of friendship, which is now a triangle.
Flash forward a year later. Jen has broken up with her boyfriend.
I go in for the kill. Jen, turns me down, proclaims she just wants us to be friends. I agreed, hurt, but agreed.
We kept this a secret from Tom.
A month later, Tom has told me that he and Jen have been meeting (Making-out, Snogging, however you want to call it) for a few days.
Tom regrets it, and distances him self from Jen.
Jen doesn't know that I know this.
flash forward to present day.
Jen is acting weird. calling him all day, to no reply. calling me when she needs me, to which I reply.
Tom just wants to forget about her, forget about everything.
Jen wants him. in the sack I believe.
I've told her to leave him alone but she won't.
I feel like shit. | My girl best friend, who I like, snogs my boy best friend. He regrets it, and wants nothing to do with her. |
t3_3yveeq | college | You will not need to buy the textbook for most classes. | Many professors will have powerpoint presentations which basically summarize the textbook. I've had professor say that "you'll fail if you don't read the textbook," only for all the information from the textbook to be summarized in the powerpoint. I've even had classes where even though the syllabus said the textbook was required, the professor never even used it. Last semester I paid over $400 for all the textbooks, but never used any of them. This also includes when the syllabus says to read each chapter by a certain date. At my college, you can download the powerpoint presentations to your computer for free, so there's literally no reason to get the textbook. | Most professors will cover everything in the lecture, so there's no reason to get the textbook. The only reason to get a textbook is if the information is not being covered in the lecture. |
t3_1z1lby | relationships | I [21 M] don't see any future with my [21 F] [2.5 years], but I don't know what to do about it. | Every now and again I start to feel down about my relationship and I begin to think that my girlfriend and I don't really have any future together. I mean, we could. We make each other happy, she looks after me, she is essentially a great girlfriend. But I look to the future and I see nothing. I can't actually imagine having a family with her, buying a house together, etc. In past, shorter relationships (this has been my longest one), I used to imagine things like waking up next to my partner when I'm older, getting ready for work together, feeding the kids etc. But now I don't feel any of that. It just doesn't come across my mind at all.
It's just that she is so good to me, and I appreciate everything she does for me, and she is a really good influence on my life. Just every maybe 6 months or so I start to doubt our relationship and it really takes a toll on me. I'm going through it now, and I have all these thoughts going through my head like "we have a trip to NZ planned for the end of the year" and "we are planning to move in together at the end of the year" and I don't want it to get to that point and things to turn sour.
What drives me nuts is that I know I'll get over this down feeling in a week or two, but the thing I've realised this time around is the fact remains that I probably wont have the life I want in the future with her. It's just that I get so confused because she really is a good girlfriend, but I just don't know if she is the one. Honestly, I would like the chance to meet new women and spend time with them. I always think that I'm young and that I should explore and shit like that. But if I ended this, I wouldn't know if I'm making the right decision or not... | Girlfriend is great, but I don't know if we have a future together, don't know how to think. |
t3_51k2fm | relationships | My [17M] buddy [16M] really doesn't like my girlfriend. [16F] | I've been friends with my friend Rich since seventh grade, when he moved here, since his family is military. We've had a ton of ups and downs but have always considered each other friends, especially since we both did a lot of theatre.
We got to high school and I got really depressed and began to go to online school. This had started some other drama where my entire group of friends had stopped talking to me. Rich specifically was the one that was egging them on and would get mad if anyone tried to reach out to me, and they talked constant shit behind my back for around 5 months. We became friends again after I started talking to a different friend, and he convinced Rich to apologize, and nothing huge has come up since then.
Now, my girlfriend goes to a different school than everyone else, and they met through a volunteer haunted house thing in our area. This is where everyone met Kaylee and we all started talking to her a lot.
Now I'm dating Kaylee, and my friend Rich has decided to start messaging my girlfriends douche ex to spite her, and I don't know what to do. Her ex has been saying really shitty things to her at school, and even had scratched up her car with a pencil.
We've talked about it and all Rich has said is he "really doesn't like her, but is happy she makes me happy." Rich is a really good buddy of mine even though there's a bit of shaky trust there, and I obviously really like my girlfriend (we've only been dating for around two weeks. But apparently Rich has been talking to her ex )
I'm not sure what to do, especially considering I just started this relationship with Kaylee, and Rich has been my buddy for a really long time. | Friend is talking to my girlfriends ex (to spite her), who is now making fun of her and teasing her constantly. |
t3_vbihm | AskReddit | Married couples, does Quality Time ever feel like almost always a chore, if so. How do you cope? | I have lost the urge to date for some time as a full time worker and college student.
I felt more and more like my quality time with my then 2 year girl friend was becoming more of a requirement than something I look forward to.
Don't get me wrong I enjoyed spending time with her, but just not every time I had time off and the lack of that option to just sit around on a day off was really beginning to bother me.
When I think about marriage and how that would be a permanent reality I get really turned off on the idea. When I really think about it, if it wasn't for sex or hormones, I would probably feel no incentive at all to becomes friends with any of the women I have dated. | Married couples, how do you cope with the obligation of quality time or are you ever concerned your QT might turn into a chore? |
t3_4pdaz6 | relationships | I [19M] overreacted to not getting off with [18F] SO | Me and my SO had a lot of sex yesterday and she was sore today so we couldn't have sex, after trying because she wanted to. I was completely fine with this, but we were both naked and I got arroused again. She talked to me about how she doesn't like giving blow jobs (something I assumed due to very small number of bjs in our relationship) , and I told her it was ok and not to worry about it, because I don't want her to have to do anything she doesn't want to. (I eat her out all the time, but a bj isn't something I need, especially if she doesn't wanna give one)
She then mentioned that we could try anal, but after getting ready she got really scared and decided she didn't want to. Now here's where I messed up and stopped thinking and practically had a temper tantrum. I got off of her and layed down on the bed all pouty, and when she offered to give me a bj I told her know because I know she doesn't like to. It was mostly my attitude that was really shitty. It didn't feel like me who was talking when I was mad, I was so focused on getting off.
Anyways, she wound up crying and I snapped out of it and realized how I was acting and comforted her and then started crying with her. Everything wound up ok, but I'm trying to figure out why I reacted that way, and what to do. Am I a shitty person for overreacting?? Is this kind of reaction normal and something I need to get better at dealing with?? Do you think she feels like I'm a shitty person (because I kinda do)? | me and gf tried having sex but she was sore. After a few attempts to get off other ways, I had a tantrum and she started crying. We cried together and made up. Am I a shitty person? |
t3_rdeqr | AskReddit | Where Do I Live? | Okay so for the information, I'm 18 and currently live with my mum, mum and dad been separated for 5 years now and are still on good terms (still friends). As of late I have decided that university was not for me even though I got good grades all throughout high school and so on, I just was not enjoying university. Ever since then my mum has been a total BITCH. She is clearly unsupportive of my decision and claims it wasn't mine to make (whereas Dad said that he'd support any decision I made and it was up to me). Every little minor thing I do wrong now she blows up about, she normally has a temper but it only comes out if I mess up pretty big (I'm a shy, quiet, good kid so nothing major).
At the moment I can't stand living here and seriously am considering moving in with Dad. However my dilemma is that mum has mentioned before that all she has left to live for is us kids (me and sister who is 14) she doesn't know what she'd do without us. Also the way my mum is I'd lose a lot of the stuff I own although not super important I'd lose ps3, PC, TV, My car and basically anything else she can claim she paid for (the items themselves don't matter it's the monetary value of them).
So what do I do, Do I stay living with mum and be unhappy or risk destroying my mum and ruining in family relationships to live with dad?
-NOTE - I did see a counsellor with this matter probably 6-8 months ago. | Can't stand living with mum but moving out to live with dad would break families good relationship and destroy mum, what do I do? |
t3_3kf0vk | relationships | Me [28M] with my GF[23F] is weird about sleeping over making me doubt things | Throwaway because she Reddits religiously.
Ok maybe this is nothing but this is really starting to bug me. My gf and I have been dating for seven/almost 8 months. She's slept at my apartment maybe four times since we started dating. She lives at home which can be overwhelming for her so she spends a ton of time at my place but once night time rolls around she wants to go back home to sleep. Sometimes it's even 2 or 3 in the morning and she's asking to go back home.
Even if it's way more convenient for her to stay...for example if we have plans Friday night then again Saturday morning she still goes home. I asked if she has a hard time sleeping with me or if she isn't comfortable and she denied not sleeping well. In fact, she said she really loved falling asleep cuddling, waking up with me and making breakfast, ect, when she DOES stay.
I've never experienced someone so adverse to sleeping over their SOs house. This week is really busy for me so I'm hardly seeing her at all besides Saturday when we have night plans. I have to be off Sunday afternoon so I suggested she sleep over Saturday so we'll have Sunday morning and she declined. I don't know what it is but it's starting to make me doubt..her commitment? Or I'm starting to think she isn't attracted or as into me because she won't stay over.
I guess my question is if I'm becoming worried over nothing. Other girlfriends I've had never had any issues staying over, sometimes even for whole weekends. Is this a legitimate thing to be weirded out over? | GF has slept over less than a handful of times and it's starting to worry me. Is this a legitimate thing to be weirded out over? |
t3_wdjon | AskReddit | What's your most uncomfortable at the time, but funny afterwards, encounter with someone? | Me and my little brother were walking through Wal-Mart, when an autistic guy who looked to be in his 30's, came up and held his hand out towards my little brother as if he wanted to shake hands.
My little brother politely sticks his hand out. Then, the guy starts SNIFFING AND SUCKING ON MY LITTLE BROTHER'S hand. (We'll refer to my little brother as derp from now on in this little story)
The look on Derp's face is hard to describe. It was a mixture "wtf, oh my God, is this seriously happening?"
Derp pulls his hand away as fast as he can. The autistic guy looks at Derp with a confused look, and then bursts out crying.
People in the store then started looking at us with dirty looks, assuming we did something to the autistic guy. (Don't blame them)
Me and derp put down the sodas we were going to buy and walked out of the store as quick as possible while the autistic guy has practically cried an inch of tears on the floor, and receiving death stares from random people.
When we got in the car, we burst out laughing.
So, what's your story, Reddit? | Guy sucks on my little brothers hand, and then starts crying when little brother pulls back in surprise. People give us the dirties of dirty looks. |
t3_4a9pz1 | tifu | TIFU by digging up the remains of a beloved family pet | It was sunny out today so I gardened. We moved home a few months ago and this is the first time in 15 years we've lived in a house that isn't rented and has a garden. We always loved plants though so we had these tubs with trees and garden flowers in. What i'd quite forgotten is that because we had no garden, we'd put our last family cat into a large green plant pot and essentially grew a tree out of him (post death of course) so we didn't ever leave him behind. I'd replanted two small trees at this point in our garden and was on to the third, loosened up the soil in the tub and pulled on the tree to shake it out, this is where it got dramatic. My poor Sparticus' skull was dangling off a really long root of this tree as i'd shaken it out, his bones had been shaken loose as the tree was pulled out and there was just spine bits and pelvis bits everywhere. I guess the whole thing would have been made easier if the hole i'd dug had been deep enough but as i tried to pour the contents of the tub into the hole stuff that was at the bottom of the tub was at the top of the hole!! So i'd started to whimper and cry at this point because there were bones scattered all over the place. I had to scoop them all back into the tub so i could try and make the hole deeper but i was essentially just cry digging because our new cat had come out to see what was going on. I managed to get the tree in the hole too but its more like an ugly mound now, i've put rocks around it so other animals don't go digging it up but i'm pretty sure i'm going to be haunted in my dreams by the disturbed remains of my beloved family cat. | buried dead cat in large plant pot years ago, replanted tree forgetting about skeletal remains, hole not big enough, bones everywhere, cry digging commenced. |
t3_1w1vn0 | relationships | I suddenly become depressed after having an argument with my GF, no matter how insignificant it is. | This evening, my girlfriend [F/15] (long-distance) is at her best friend's house. She started sending me [M/16] a couple of weird texts and I thought she was drunk (she promised me she would never drink). I called her, she got angry because I asked her if she had anything to drink.
Now I feel like a completely overly-attached control freak for being so paranoid about everything. I always get worried about every little fucking thing, she says she sometimes finds it cute and that it shows her how much I care about her, but I don't know about that.
Every time I'm worried/paranoid/jealous/something, I feel worse than I have ever felt before. I feel like dying, I feel like nothing's worth living for, although my school stuff, hobbies, family stuff and such are going great right now.
I don't even know what I'm feeling.
I am really close to grabbing a knife and cutting myself, and I know that's not a fucking solution, but I'm just wondering if it helps or if it calms me down.
I would talk to a therapist, but our school psychologist is on maternity leave and I can't really go to my mom and tell her I need to see a psychologist, I don't really show my emotions to my family and I don't really like to open up to anyone except my girlfriend and MAYBE a good friend of mine.
My mom's boyfriend told me recently that being jealous is not a sign of love, but rather a sign of being possessive and that he never saw a woman as his possession, so neither should I.
Breaking up with her is NOT an option, she's the most wonderful girl I've ever met and the first person ever with whom I was able to share everything. Our relationship is great, but I get at least 2 of these episodes every day.
She's extremely supportive, even during these weird stages of mine, trying to make me feel better, but these things always last me like an hour and then go away.
I don't know what to do! | I get worried about my GF too quickly and have daily episodes when I consider self-harm. What can I do to calm down? |
t3_4kuocn | legaladvice | Can teachers legally confiscate and not return materials for senior prank? Also how much trouble could we be In if we re-do it? (TX) | So my senior class had planned a prank for this morning. We tried to make something that wouldn't be destructive of cause any issues with staff so we decided to have a water balloon fight outside in the passing period
Well as soon as the bell rang admin took all the coolers and the campus police drove over. The admin took probably 4 coolers and about 100$ of water balloons. No water balloons were thrown at all, literally the coolers were just sitting on the ground and they took them. They didn't say anything about is getting them back and our school is known for taking phones, games etc and either charging students to get them back or just not even getting them back.
We are thinking of re-doing the prank tomorrow, and I know this isn't really a serious question, but is the school obligated to give me and others there property back and can they charge us and pop balloons? Also how much trouble could I get in legally if we redid the prank tomorrow ( asking since they brought police today)
I am in Texas | School confiscated water balloons and coolers and police were called over. Will I get my cooler back and how much trouble can I get in for re-doing the prank? |
t3_17o7g0 | relationships | Update: Australian[f19] and not sure if I'm being accepting or a pushover with my Indian boyfriend [m28]. | [Original post.](
Everything went better than expected.
At the time of my last post, we were preemptively broken up. I met with him and made it clear that I wanted to face this as a couple, so we got back together officially and he continued to try and speak to his parents.
Eventually he managed to get through, and I learned that he had used some pretty bad phrasing (doh!) when he spoke to them originally. They were assuming the worst - that I'd steal him forever and he'd never see them again. They finally understood that if they're not living together, they'll still be able to see him.
We all agreed that my SO and I would live together, away from his parents, but close enough to easily visit. This is a perfect solution for me - I do still want to be involved with his family quite a bit, just not when I first wake up in the morning.
He also has spoken to his parents about their reaction. He is convinced that this is not something they've done before, or will do again. The way he presented the issue to them kind of freaked them out, and they were just scared. Now that they understand I'm not trying to totally steal their son, they're totally open to discussion of other issues that may crop up.
We're now on to discussing boundaries with his parents visiting, and that seems to be going very well. Things like calling before they visit, etc.
Next step is meeting his sister, who he's currently living with, which is scary as fuck. D: | Indian boyfriend's family and pleasantly open to our relationship, after they understood that I'm not trying to keep him from seeing them ever again. They're pretty dramatic. |
t3_3ak28z | relationships | I [21/m] think my gf [21/f] cheated a long time ago. I am going to find out. | Sorry. You will probably be disappointed that there's pretty much zero detail here, because the details are VERY specific and if I really put any details, honestly if ANYONE who knew me saw it they'd probably know it was me.
The only thing I'll say is that almost two years ago I had a really bad feeling something happened between my girlfriend and another guy. She didn't seem like the type at ALL, and I still question my sanity for questioning HER, but the things that tipped me off seem pretty obvious. At the very least they were incredibly disrespectful to our relationship. There's just too much evidence that SOMETHING happened. It doesn't make sense. You get that sinking feeling in your stomach, you know? Like, a few too many things that just, knowing your girlfriend's personality, don't make sense.
I am going to find out. I've spend two years planning this. It's fucking foolproof. It won't happen for a while but I will update when it does. I just needed to let this out.
**This will be huge for me**. Because I am either being insecure, and making something out of nothing, or my girlfriend, who seemed like one of THE most trust worthy people I've ever met, cheated.
I'm wondering what I could do during the mean time to keep myself busy. I know that this will all be solved in a few months but for right now it's torture. The thoughts are in my head of my naked GF and this guy having sex in all sorts of different positions. Are gut feelings normally right? How do I tell if its a gut feeling or just insecurity? | I think that my girlfriend may or may not have cheated on me almost two years ago, but I am going to find out. |
t3_1o9hdj | offmychest | Dude... | This guy deserves to get hit hard.
So a couple of weeks ago, I was in a car accident with my girlfriend. It was easily the most terrifying and mentally scarring event in my life, and not a day goes by where I don't thank God that we both made it out alive and physically unharmed. I still blame myself for it, and just hate talking about it in general.
So one day I was in a conversation with some friends and this one kid I recently met. So one thing leads to another and eventually the topic of girlfriends comes up, so he says "Haha well DayMan322 here definitely hates girls because he tried to kill his own girlfriend haha"
Okay, what the hell. I gave him a cold look, told him that was not remotely funny, yet he shrugs and said it was just a joke.
The next day somehow we get on the topic of road head(I know strange) and the same kid says " Be honest with us, DayMan322, thats how the accident happened right? Haha"
This time, I look right at him and tell him its not funny at all, and my friends agree and tell him its not funny. Again, no apology.
Today, I had to take the bus home since my friend who normally drives me home couldnt, and of course this kids on the bus. He starts by asking " Yo man, why are you taking the bus? Ooh right, you crashed your car, hahaha"
This time I lost my shit and told him Id punch him in the fucking face if he talked about this shit again, and that Id break his fucking teeth. He laughed and sat back down.
Who the fuck says shit like that? You have to be a really sick fuck to joke about that shit. The next time he even mentions shit about that, I really dont know if I can contain myself, and I may just break his fucking nose. Its not funny, no one thinks its funny, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB RACIST PIECE OF REDNECK SHIT. | Redneck racist dumbass makes fun of the most traumatizing event in my life and is soon going to get his ass kicked |
t3_j6n8x | AskReddit | I've been fired from 2 of my last 3 jobs. I just got a new job, and I'm scared this one isn't going to work out either. How do I prevent this from happening? | Both of these jobs I lasted about a month before my boss took me aside and essentially said, "It's not working out; we're going to have to let you go." I don't want to say I was incompetent, but I just wasn't meeting their standard of quality, and my learning curves weren't fast enough. There were clues, and talking-tos along the way, so I could see it coming, but I always thought I would have a little more time.
In between these two jobs, I had a great job, and they would have loved to keep me around, but it wasn't a year-round job, so I had to take the last job, full time. Meanwhile, they hired someone else. I had some similar struggles, but I was more comfortable the whole time, and they were understanding and accepting of my learning curve.
Next week I'm starting a job at what is by far the biggest, most prestigious company I have ever worked for. The kind of company that could open doors for great success in my future. I'm scared that I'm either going to be a let down, or get let down. And I'm scared that those feelings will affect the way I work, and only increase those chances.
Each new job I take seems to be further and further away. The first was in Massachusetts, then Florida, then Southern California, now I'm moving again to Philadelphia. So these moves have been particularly taxing on my emotions and finances.
I have a Master's degree in this stuff, and I'm starting to doubt my own skills. How do I avoid this from happening again? | I have as much experience in getting fired as I do in working. How can I have the confidence that this one is the one that's finally going to work out? |
t3_53ke6w | relationships | I'm 17 how do I tell my mum and boyfriend[18] I'm pregnant? | So yeah as the title says I'm 17 and I think I'm about 3 months but not fully sure about how far along. I only found out the other day when I took 2 pregnancy tests at home which both were positive and to say the least I'm worried sick on what my parents will say especially my mum and bf.
I thought me and my bf, who I've been with since I was 15, were careful when we were having sex but obviously not. Basically I'm just not sure what to do because I'm not sure I want an abortion abd my mum is against abortion but I'm young and inexperienced at making big decisions and I feel my parents are going to be so mad when they find out I'm pregnant.
I have no idea how I'm going to tell my family and bf because its unexpected news and I don't know how they're going to react. How should I tell them? Who do I need to see for support? When should I tell them? What should I do? | 17 and pregnant (i think 3 months ish) not sure how to tell my parents and bf. Any advice is greatly appreciated. |
t3_3bd4mo | tifu | TIFU because of auto correct | i am a 15 y/o and was on a trip with my friends and i did a competition with my friends,the competition was u take perfect photos of nature and to take pictures at the perfect timing,and the most important rules r:never photoshop and never filter images because the colour shld be as u took it because some of them stay at a place for hours to take a perfect picture with a beautiful colour in the atmosphere,so me being the competetive shit i am,i decided to lie and filter it,so i was filtering a photo and got caught,so i was disqualified.now to the FU i had a conversation with my brother that was like this.
me:i got disqualified from the competition
him:why,dude?
me:(what i meant to say)i was caught filtering.(but it auto corrected to)i was caught fingering.
him:i just blocked u cause i dont want ur shitty"plz dont tell mom" i WILL tell her and ur gonna get fucked.
me:i meant fitering,plz i didnt do anything,pleeeaasse.
when i returned my parents didnt even hear me, their voice was so so so loud,yelling at me for being a l disgusting person.and when i told them they did NOT believe me,needless to say ill probably have my fingers cut. | got caught filtering a photo and said that to my bro but it auto corrected to "fingering" and he told my parents now ill be grounded for five months. |
t3_3g68o4 | relationships | Me [18M] and my SO [17F] of 1 month are trying to decide whether to continue long distance | My SO and I met on tinder about a month and a half ago and have been together for about a month now. Things are going pretty great but in 3 weeks I leave for college (sophomore year). She is still in high school (going into senior year) so she will be staying in town. While I'm there we will be about 5 hours apart and I most likely won't be able to come home until Thanksgiving (though she has said she wants to visit a couple times).
She is confident that a long distance relationship between us would work but I have my doubts and it's putting a serious strain on our relationship right now. I'm just not sure if texting/calling/FaceTiming will be enough without actually getting to see her.
Is there anyone with any experience with long distance relationships who can give my some advice or insight as to what it's like? | I leave for college in 3 weeks and SO and I are trying to decide if we shoul go long distance or break up. |
t3_ihwtr | AskReddit | Bank related question | I've been waiting to buy something from the steam summer sale today because the cash I deposited into my checking account has been pending for over 12 hours .. the account says the money is in my "available balance" which is described as "ready for immediate withdrawal or spending." I know that if I spend money that isn't currently in my account I will get charged 35$, and I only deposited 40 today so that would pretty much be all my money gone. Is it safe to use the money? cash deposits never take this long, it's usually immediate or within the hour. | I deposited $40 cash into my checking account over 12 hours ago and I am hesitant to use it because it still shows up as pending under transactions even though it is "in" my available balance. |
t3_1cb3cp | relationships | How to bring up a question of lifetime commitment to an SO that is possibly against marriage? F(23) & M(23) | **I am F(23), he is M(23).** We've been in a relationship for almost 2 years, living together for almost a year now. Everything is great, nothing is wrong, and we seem very compatible. The problem is, everything is very smooth, but I still worry if he's planning to stay with me for a long time or is it just a comfortable relationship every one of us wants to be in. Now, to clarify, I'm **not** looking for any immediate action, I just need sort of a plan for the future known to me, or what is the best way to get it out there.
We have talked about our views on marriage: he refuses to get married to anyone for ideological reasons - that is, until gay marriage gets legalized, he doesn't want to get married himself. He made it clear to me very early in the relationship and I highly respect that. Now, I view marriage as a lifelong commitment more than utilization of government benefits. The problem is, even though that commitment is possible without a ring on my finger, that ring would act as that promise I'm essentially looking for. I'm not sure how to explain that more clear, but I'm definitely willing to answer questions if any are to come up.
My question is how to bring that up and actually find out what the future plans/intentions are without seeming demanding or clingy. Also, if you guys can come up with any idea of how to make that promise of long-term or lifetime commitment I'm comparing marriage to possible without the actual hassle, I'm very open to suggestions. | Have a good relationship, how to bring up/ resolve a question of a long-term/ lifetime commitment possibly without getting into marriage? |
t3_3oob9p | relationships | I [25 M] don't know why I don't like anyone who actually likes me, and vice versa | Hi Reddit! I feel like I've been dealing with this issue for years and I need a little clarity. I'm a 25 year old straight male. I've dated a lot of girls and have had 2 meaningful relationships. But I feel like the girls I end up dating, I never really like a lot. They're always really sweet, and into me, and I enjoy spending time with them, but I'm not excited by them at all, I don't want to introduce them to my friends, etc. I have allowed this to go too far in the past, i.e. dating someone I don't really like for too long and then being completely turned off by them. I know this is awful behavior, and it needs to stop. I just don't know why it keeps happening. I'll like someone and want to hang out with them, and once it's clear to me that they are into me, I'm done. I just lose whatever feelings I had towards them, and it sucks.
Meanwhile, when I find someone I really like and could really see becoming a part of my life, I can never keep them around. They don't like me back. Sometime they stick around for fun, but for the most part, it just dies out, and not for my lack of effort. I'm not a serial communicator either - I don't text all the time. So I know I'm not bothering the shit out of these girls and then they can't stand me anymore.
It's really frustrating. I know I need to work on it one way or the other, but I'm just not sure what the problem is. I know I'm terrified of rejection, and I could use a confidence boost. But I'm not void of self-worth. I even feel like my own standards are a little too high sometimes?
I don't know. Please help! It's driving me nuts. | I can't help but not feelings a connection to the girls who do like me, but every time I find someone I'm excited for, they don't reciprocate. Is there something wrong with me? What should I do? |
t3_pf93u | jobs | Job is becoming a problematic force in my life, need a change... | I have a work from home sales job that I initially thought was a great situation for me. No commute, decent money, and a much needed respite from the nightlife industry (no problems there, just wanted normal hours). The initial elation wore off really quick when I realized the desperation that led me to take the job. I was drinking a lot and trying to project an image of stability. A job was a perfect way to hide the real problems. Every time I was meeting with my boss I just gave him the answers he wanted to hear. Losing the job would mean I had a problem, so I protected against it.
Long story short, I quit drinking and quickly realized that this job is making me miserable. I feel awful for all the enthusiasm I feigned, but I also recognize that I need to be honest with myself and my employer. Working from home has become an isolating practice that nearly drives me insane. I get out for a while every evening, but that doesn't make up for the 9 hours every day where my only human contact comes through phone and email.
I'm wondering if anyone has a similar experience with a job that you don't necessarily hate, but that you recognize as a potentially counterproductive occupation in the big picture. | Job has been classified internally as a physically, psychologically, and existentially isolating occupation and next steps need to be figured out. |
t3_3u6h6k | relationships | My [20/M] little sister [16/F] is severely depressed, and considering dropping out of school. Our mom [50/F] is not quite stable, and is accidentally egging her into it. | This mostly started a few years ago with our parents nasty divorce. My mom used to be a normal lady, but a few years ago developed some personalty disorders. I dont know the specifics, but she has become narcissistic, paranoid, and verbally abusive. She is supposed to be on some meds, but often fails to take them.
Naturally, this affected the life of me and my sister. I was luckily able to move away for college, but my sister has really been messed up by the whole situation. Shes fallen into a deep depression, and has started self harming lately. Shes developed a drinking problem, and is failing all of her high-school classes. It seems like she has pretty much given up on life, and really doesnt give a shit about anything important anymore.
I think a main reason of this is the lack of a positive adult in her life. My mom is completely unfit in this regard, and my sister unfortunately no longer speaks with my dad after the divorce. I go to school 1000 miles away, so I feel like Im unable to make a huge difference in the situation (although I'm currently at home for the next week).
In fact, my mom has really become counterproductive in the situation. Shes "fed up with her behavior," and has basically resolved to calling her a "lazy, good for nothing, piece of shit." Shes told me she is close to kicking her out (although I dont think she can legally do this to a 16 year old ?). Obviously, this is not helping my sister, and things are just getting worse and worse.
My sister has been to a few therapists, but is unable to open up. She seems to think that the whole therapy thing just doesnt work for her.
I'm really starting to worry about her. Im scared she might seriously hurt herself, or just accidentally kill her future. Ive been thinking about transferring schools and moving back home to try and help, although Im really hoping theres another solution. | My sister is really struggling with depression, and our mom is just making it worse. Do I need to move back home? Is there anything I can do? |
t3_2m3hga | relationships | Me [25 F] with someone I've been "casually dating"[28 M] for about 2 months, went running to his ex when she got broken up with, not sure how to continue | We've been great friends for just under a year, and "casually dating" (i.e. I don't refer to him as my boyfriend, but we spend all of our time together and we have been exclusive sexually). We have great chemistry and great conversations, and he's always been very honest and open with me about his past, which includes the fact that he's cheated on his only two serious girlfriends.
This is enough for me to be weary, but since he's been so honest about it, I haven't been that concerned. He's told me every time he's talked to his most recent ex, and likewise I tell him when I've talked to mine, etc.
So this weekend, I text him to see whats up and he sends me this vague text about "having to take care of something" and that he "won't be around tonight". So naturally, I'm worried at this point.
Turns out his ex came crying to him when she got broken up with, and he ran to her side to comfort her, but also with the intention of telling her about the cheating. In the aftermath, he let it slip to me that "at the very least I'd spend the night and tell her about the cheating in the morning". What?
I'm now not sure at all where we stand other than he's reiterated that he "likes" me. I suspect he's been talking to her constantly since. I know that I should probably tell him to go fuck himself, but its hard because through this unfortunate situation, I'm realizing that the feelings are deeper than I thought they were, and I'm extremely heart broken. My fault on that one, I guess.
Should I confront him about it, and make him tell me where I stand with him? And if he intends on continuing things with me, should I bother? There's already been a huge violation of trust. | Guy I've been seeing pretty exclusively goes to see his ex, makes some poorly chosen statements, not sure if I should continue seeing him especially since I have deep feelings for him. What do? |
t3_2lmtt5 | tifu | TIFU for forgetting to plug in the headphone jack. | It was me and my GF's anniversary. We were so excited to be going to a very formal and "classy" place. Me being the dumbass I am, I only wore a button-up shirt. It was one of those places where you needed at least a fucking formal jacket to get in, so I was completely screwed. Luckily (ish), they let me borrow this shitty ragged up one that smelled like piss. Because of this dumb fuck up, I decide to listen to music until my food comes. My GF is very Instagram like and is trying to find a "tint" or whatever the fuck it's called. So she was fine with it. I put in my earbuds and press play on my phone. My gf then started to make a face and during that time I had no idea what she was talking about. When the manager came to speak to me, I took my earbuds off to speak to him. But then I still hear the music so I have that "oh shit I fucked up" feeling in my stomach. So for 5 minutes I had music blasting around the restaurant while I thought it was coming off my earbuds. At the end I left a big ass tip and left as soon as possible. The bright side is my GF took it as a joke and didn't give that much of a shit. | Went to a restaurant with my GF. Put on my earbuds to play music but forgot to plug it in. Music was blasting for everyone in the restaurant to hear. |
t3_3v8bkv | relationship_advice | [19/F] reconnected with an old friend [20/M], but he got really personal really fast. Weird? | Recently I ran into a childhood neighbor and friend again for the first time since middle school. We quickly started reminiscing and talking about people we used to know, etc. and agreed to meet up and have lunch.
Everything seemed perfectly normal and friendly at first. Over lunch, however, he started to get really pretty personal-asking things like how many guys I've dated and whether I've been intimate with them. He quickly specified that he is still a virgin.
I don't totally mind that he took things to a more "date-ish" place, but I'm wondering how odd it is that he started bringing such personal things up so soon. We haven't talked in years, after all. I told him that I thought it might be best to save those conversations until we had gotten to know each other more and he seemed relatively ok with that.
I'm pretty inexperienced with guys and I guess I just don't know how to take it. Maybe those things are just important to him and he wants to find out early on? Or maybe it's a red flag?
Any thoughts are appreciated! | Reconnected with an old friend and went out to lunch with him. He immediately started asking me about prior relationships and sexual experience. Kinda weird or just trying to see if we share the same values? |
t3_w2z74 | AskReddit | Can I Get an Xbox for Free? | A friend of mine was telling me about how he got one of the new Xbox 360 consoles for free with a purchase of a Dell laptop. I told him I knew about this offer, but I still had my old white Xbox 360.
He then tells me that Microsoft planned for the white Xbox 360s to stop working by the time the new ones came out. He then proceeds to tell me that if I call Microsoft or send them an email telling them I have a white Xbox 360, they'll send me a new one absolutely free. Is this true? | Friend says Microsoft will send me free Xbox because it's not a new slim one but rather one of the oldest models they've sold. |
t3_3ufeo1 | relationships | Gf[23F] is mad at me(23M) for not calling after 4 days during thanksgiving break while my mom is sick | So we are both med students on break for thanksgiving and we also have a lot of stress because of all the work. A couple days ago, when I arrived home, I learned that my mom was in the hospital for 5 days for an illness and just came home. My dad never told me because I had exams and was already stressed.
So I get home, and I take care of my mom all day, every day. I make sure she has everything she needs so she can get better, even though she is still not improving. The whole time I still am texting my gf the whole day. I ust did not have time to have a phone call since she HAS to talk for a few hours on the phone or she will get mad.
Today she texted me saying we haven't talked in 4 days in her passive aggressive kind of way. I try ot explain to her that I'm sorry but I've been really busy taking care of my mom and that we can talk tomorrow. She replied questioning if I really was sorry. That infuriated me but I only texted back that I was sorry, but I am very stressed right now and very busy. She is making such a big deal that I havent called her in 4 days. I am so mad that she would even make this a big deal because I'll see her in a few days!!
Am I completely out of line here? Any advice what to say so she can understand me? I am on the verge of a mental breakdown from the stress from school, my mom's condition, and from my gf. Please help | Came home from thanksgiving break, found out mom really sick, gf mad i didn't call after 4 days even though we text, what to say? |
t3_1jfdue | relationships | Me[28F] with my BF(?) [34M] together 8months, are trying to reconcile. He wants to wait for sex, I'm unsure how to take it. | Jeff(34M, no kids, never married) and I (28F, NK/NM) started seeing each other as FWB in December, by February we had become exclusive and are in an LDR. I tell him I love him 2 or so months in and he says he is beginning to feel the same way but wants to be sure (saying he has never felt this way for someone else).
Fast forward to mid-May and Jeff breaks up with me, saying he wants to live a life without love because A) he sees it as a need for spiritual fulfillment and B) he is a coward. He then proceeded to tell me I was the best thing that happened in his life and that he loved me, but still walked away. I was crushed and drank myself to sleep for several weeks. A breakup has NEVER left me in that condition.
In early July we started to talk again as friends and have been doing things together. Jeff told me he truly did love me, but does not feel he deserves me and, with minimal encouragment from me he is seeking a therapist. After some very open and deep conversation, Jeff asked me to list the ways he made me feel inadequate throughout our relationship. There is some physical intimacy between us, we have not gone beyond touching one another. Jeff has put the brakes on any sexual advances I have made towards him, saying he 'does not want to hurt me again and feel he has to reagain my trust first'.
I am starting to feel very frustrated with this situation and I just need a little insight from someone who is completely outside of the situation. My friends are pissed I started speaking to him again, so I know thier input will be biased. | Have started seeing ex again and he wants to hold off on sex. Frustrating for me, need insight/encouragement. |
t3_3ypibm | tifu | TIFU by giving an exam, STONED. | * | TIFU by writing an exam stoned, turns out my answers were just fine, I had missed out mentioning the question numbers. |
t3_1vst8r | relationships | Me [23m] with my Roomate [21 M]. Hes moving out and I think lying about giving me money for utilities. Need advice for getting it | So I have a roommate that the landlord, not me and my friend, found for the house. He decided to break lease after 4 months and move into university residence. This would typically be fine by me as we pay the landlord individually. Our relationship had been fine, definatly not friends, but curteous. He always gave me money for utilities before when I had asked him.
He just came back from his winter vacation and I asked him to pay me the money for his final two months there for hydro and water and internet, totalling to about 100 bucks. He questioned it a bit, asking why so much and if I could break down the bills with him. I left the paper copies of them on the fridge so he could look them over and agreed over text (I never saw him as I was at work). This morning while i was at work he texted me saying he had left the money on my bed and I said cool, thanks.
I get back this afternoon, and look around. Nothing. I didn't see any sign of money, after looking under my blankets and in the cracks of the bed still nothing. At this point he walked into the house and I just asked him politely where he put it. He looks at me deadpan and says
"are you serious? I put it right there", and then tells me to stop 'fucking joking' and stop lying. He said he thinks I already took it and am trying to pump him for more money and that he won't pay me another cent.
He has always paid in cash so I wasn't expecting anything different. What can I do to try and get this from him? If anything?
For reference, I live in Ontario. | Roommate moving out, claims he left me final utility money on bed. Came home, coulnd't find it. He thinks I took it and am lying. What do? |
t3_2t4wb0 | tifu | TIFU by doing laundry | So I moved away from home for the first time at the beginning of this semester, and I've been putting off doing my laundry basically this whole time. I don't have any washing machines in my building, so it's just a big inconvenience I'd like to avoid. Anyways after going commando for a couple of days (Which I've discovered is actually wonderful) I finally conceded.
I don't have any laundry detergent, so I go to the store to pick some up , how hard could it be. Well apparently there are a lot of different kinds of laundry detergent, and seeing as I usually just use whatever's around the house I get a little bit lost. Luckily, my friend Zack is with me and he points one out, "This one's good," he says. " It smells great." So I buy it , go home, throw my clothes in a garbage bag (a pretty big garbage bag, considering how long I've avoided laundry) and head out.
The washing machines seem pretty standard, so I pour my detergent in, start it, and then sit around and wait. An hour later It's done and dry, so I throw it back in the garbage bag and head home to fold them.
As soon as I take them out of the bag the smell hits me, and it's not bad, it's just familiar. Memories start pouring in to my mind as this smell rushes through my nostrils, and that's when I realize that I bought the same detergent my ex-girlfriend uses. My whole wardrobe now smells like her now. | Bought the same laundry detergent my ex-girlfriend uses, I'm now reminded of her anytime I'm wearing clothes. |
t3_15i52j | AskReddit | Hey reddit, how do I get my SO's parents to like me? | Ive been with her for almost 3 years. The problem started when we started to fight over the phone and she would begin to scream on the phone where they could hear her, i get pretty mad when she does that actually. I don't get why she can't step out for a second to talk.
Anyway, I guess over time it accumulated and her mom doesn't care too much for me and I'm sure her dad doesn't like me. Her dad is really stern, doesn't speak much English. I don't like being around her house when he comes from work. As I expect he'd want to be with his family after a long day at work. If he's off and I'm there, which is rare, i can't be in her room, door open or not.
Her mom is sweet, strict, and kinda difficult to talk to sometimes. Her English is a little rough too.
Most closest moment we had is when she would be at the gym we're both members of and i train her a little. That happened like twice.
So I'm just not sure if I ever impose during family time or if I'm in the clear. Overall I'm just confused. | my gfs parents don't care for me cause of loud fights over the phone, how can I change their opinion of me? |
t3_1h1obg | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend [20F] started talking to her ex after we had quite the argument. | My girlfriend and I had an interesting argument last night and I woke up this morning to find she had added her ex back on FB. She told me she had spent most of the morning talking to him... They dated for 3 years and she admitted to having a hard time moving on when we first started dating.
I honestly feel uncomfortable with this. My last relationship ended because she left me for her ex after a few months of dating. I don't want to ruin the beautiful relationship I have with this girl (3 months). I love her to pieces, and she is one of the best things that has happened to me and I dont want fears from previous experiences ruin this relationship.
Reddit, am I paranoid or do I have some sense in being worried? How do I help not letting this hurt our relationship? | Girlfriend started talking to ex again. I have a feeling she is not entirely over him and this makes me feel really uncomfortable. Am I paranoid or do I have a right to worry? |
t3_1oeosh | Advice | Need advice on breaking the news that I am moving... | Semi-quick back story.
Grew up with my best friend, we saw each other almost everyday for 13 years. 7 years ago she moved from our hometown in New York to North Carolina. Fast forward to this year, I went through a particularly nasty break up and decided on a whim to move to North Carolina to get away from the craziness. My best friend was thrilled. I have been here two months and absolutely despise it. I am incredibly homesick and am less happy here then I was at home. I have already decided I am going to move back to New York at the end of this month but I am having a hard time figuring out how to tell her. I know she's going to be hurt and angry but I need to do what's best for myself. People of
Reddit, please give me some advice. Thank you. | moved 600 miles away from home to be closer to best friend after a break up, desperately homesick, don't know how to tell her I'm moving back. |
t3_3x2cyu | relationships | Should I [30F] go to a celebration with my husband of 5 years [38M] in order to see how he acts with a certain female? | So my husband is finishing up school and his cohort has decided to go get breakfast/drinks tomorrow after finals to celebrate. S/o and families are invited to join them if they want.
Throughout the program (2 years) my husband has been texting one particular class mate who happens to be a single cute 20F excessively (Hours at a time and at the expense of family time).
He used to delete her texts but I've spied a few and most seem innocent but he is persistent in complimenting her and trying to establish a "friendship". I assume he lies about his age and he doesn't wear a ring to the program so for all I know this girl doesn't know I exist.
My husband claims after tomorrow he'll have no reason to continue his relationship/texting with this woman but there is a good chance they could end up working together in the near future.
Naturally, I'm curious to see how they interact together and am inclined to go. However, we have a 2 year old son. I can't find a babysitter on such short notice and I worry about how he'll handle himself out in public and if I'll be able to manage him alone (I am severely pregnant with our 2nd child) as I assume my husband will be celebrating with his friends mostly. | Go to celebration and spy on husband/girl's interactions or wait it out and see if he does stop needing her attention? |
t3_3hcvi9 | relationships | I [22m] shoved my girlfriend's [20f] dog while playing video games. | My girlfriend's dog has a history of turning off my games while playing online since it's so touch sensitive. I'm allergic and shouldn't touch it so I've been asking her to lock him up in the bedroom while I play my games. She has kinda been meh about it. I saw him kinda sniffing around again while playing online and asked her nicely if she could help move him. She didn't move from her laptop. I asked again. And again.
Very slight acknowledgement that I even talked. Dog was getting closer and closer so I got up and gave it a little shove with my foot because I can't pick him up or want to touch him. It wasn't hard at all, but enough to move him and it looked worse because he was resisting. Well anyway she fucking flipped. Pretty sure she wants to break up with me over this. I'm blaming her because I asked 5 times if she could help move him. Am I in the wrong here? | Girlfriend's dog turns off my games while I'm online. I'm allergic so didn't want to touch it. Asked her to and kicked the dog away when she ignored me. Am I completely wrong? |
t3_3dwuor | Advice | Need advice on talking to a good buddy | A buddy of mine is on a bad path. We both own motorcycles. I have a Honda nc700x. He has a Suzuki dl650, but that's not the important part. He likes to go fast and do stupid things, ever since he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 1/2 years. Today we went for a motorcycle ride and we took a break in a scenic overlook parking lot and out of the blue he decided to try to do a burn out on a asphalt parking lot which has been seal coated so there is extra rock laying on it. His tire slipped then when all the loose rock was gone his tire gripped, he went into a wheelie but it was at an angle which then caused him to low side his bike. He was pinned under it. He is luckily ok but, his bike isn't. Bent handle bars. Badly scratched ferring. Broken turn signal. Bent mirror. He got up and is happy about it. Now I mentioned that we were on a scenic over look... Which is perched up above a main highway and a river, so we're probably 20+ get up with just a measly 2 foot wall keeping him in the parking lot. Ever since his girlfriend broke up with him and he bought his bike he does dumber things every time he gets on it and one of these times I'm afraid that he is going to do something, Seriously injure himself it worse kill himself while in right there and I'll have to deal with that. I'm not sure how to tell him he is being a fucking idiot and needs to stop these shenanigans before he hurts himself or worse. | Buddy bought motorcycle and is doing stupid things and is on a crash course to injury or death. I need advice to get through to him. |
t3_2yh3xu | relationships | How do I know if I [25M] am in love with my ex gf [29F] of two years? | We dated for 2 years and things went rather well. However at the time I was struggling with insecurities led on by my weight and plans for the future. As a result I felt like I couldn't trust her and so things went downhill.
We broke up 3 months ago and to be honest when she broke up with me I felt great! I felt like if she didn't love me for me then there wasn't anything I could do about it and that brought me a great comfort.
We still kept in touch and spoke rather often. We decided to hang out a few days ago and I ended up spending the weekend with her on a skii trip. I found out she was dating someone else and I was crushed. Throughout the weekend we had an amazing time and it felt like I met her for the first time all over again! Also my self confidence is sky high right now so she said she felt the same way.
She said she thought I moved on and so she's started dating to move on herself. Here's the tricky part. How do I know if I'm in love or if my jealousy just got the best of me and so I tried to seduce her again? I feel like I'm back in love but I know I'm in the moment so my question is, how do I know if I'm in love?
Yes we slept together last weekend multiple times and I don't regret it because I felt we had something special that her current bf didn't and couldn't offer (she also claimed she only dates him because it was "simple")
I'm fairly certain she is breaking up with her bf within the next week as a result of everything not sure if this makes a difference or not. | spent amazing weekend with ex, feel sparks have rekindled. Not sure if I'm in love or if fueled by jealousy that she had a boyfriend. |
t3_1udr3a | self | Joining the military...possibly the biggest decision of my life. Need help. | I am an 18 year old male currently attending an elite business school. Problem is, I'm not incredibly passionate about business or really anything in particular.
The one thing I have been fascinated about, however, is the military. I can't really explain it, but I just can't get enough of it. Ever since I was a kid it has been the only thing to keep my interest all these years. My parents saw this and STRONGLY discouraged it to the point where I pretty much shut it out of my mind as a viable career option.
I'm at the point, however, where I need to start narrowing down my career options. I definitely plan on graduating college and probably majoring in entrepreneurship and corporate innovation. This major gives me 95% job placement out of college, most likely with a consulting company. This sort of job is definitely not something I am super passionate about, but I definitely think I could tolerate it.
I have been researching careers in Special Forces as well as the CIA. Both of these departments look for fit, smart, and capable college graduates from all majors. I am confident I could meet the requirements for both these jobs.
Here is where I really am at a crossroads. I know a spec ops job will put a huge strain on my family life should I get married and have kids. I also know that my mother would be a nervous wreck and my Dad would be pretty stressed too. The military doesn't exactly pay well either. At the same time, it's pretty much the only thing that gets me really excited.
In the end I really don't expect anyone to make this decision for me, I just want opinions and perspective. I don't expect to come to any conclusion today or even probably within the next couple years, but I need to start thinking about it. Joining spec ops or the CIA would be a huge decision and it's something I'm scared to even bring up to my parents at all. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Joining spec ops would be a huge decision I am not sure I could make, but it's what I am most passionate about |
t3_n7883 | AskReddit | Reddit I need some advice. | I am 19 years old and am stuck in a bad situation. My dad who is only 52 had 2 surgeries this year (a pacemaker got put in and a triple bypass) that left him unemployable and I on my shitty minimum wage job has been the only one to suck it up and help. He has applied for disability, food-stamps, welfare and pretty much any type of aid but had just gotten months of "in progress" on anything. We live in California if that helps at all. He had to move out of his house and is living with another family member but she doesn't help him with money. I can barely make due for myself and he needs to eat, to be able to drive his car (gas and registration) and has been searching for a job forever now. Hes fallen deeper into depression and I just dont know what to do. I would love some ideas i haven't checked into yet or maybe there's some program I haven't heard about?
Im posting on a throwaway because I dont want all my friends to know how bad its gotten =/ | Any ideas on how to get fast help for a 52 year old man who cannot work and was self employed for 15 years prior to 2 surgeries. |
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