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t3_4biaul | relationships | My [27F] boyfriend [28M] has reservations to my getting matching tattoos with my brother [30M]. | My brother and my bf of six months both have lots of tattoos. I think tattoos are wicked cool but until recently hadn't really thought of anything I wanted on me permanently. Brother and I designed a really interesting custom tat that we both are excited to get. It would be my first tattoo and it's kind of large so I want it on my back or my side. I told my bf, who is good friends with my brother, and he said he thought the tattoo was extra awesome but it might be weird seeing a sibling tattoo when we're doin' the nasty. He wasn't saying it as a deal breaker or, like, you're not allowed to get this tattoo, he just mentioned it as an aside in the conversation. My brother and I are very close, and I have had a couple issues in the past with folks thinking we are too close. We're not; we're just besties.
I'm just curious what reddit thinks of this - anyone else's SO not like looking at a family-related tattoo while being intimate? To be clear, bf was not angry, not being a dick at all, I think the idea just popped into his brain. | Want sibling tattoo with brother, bf says it might be weird to see the tattoo during sex. What do y'all think? |
t3_jwj5n | AskReddit | Should my gf lawyer up or should I break some knee caps??? | So here's the 411 and if anyone can help that would be great. My girlfriend is a Graduate student in the Northeast. She spent the summer in India and before she left she set up a rental agreement with a girl at her school. Now she has a notarized contract that has several different provisions. Can scan if need to. Here's the part where the WTF comes in. So the renter told my gf that she was only going to be commuting between Providence and Boston a couple times a week and take some longer camping trips. Well, we just got back to RI and were not psyched(Fixed for Grammar Nazis) to see that she had put 11,000 miles on the car. Plus she got a ticket in Colorado for not paying a toll. She never mentioned anything about driving the car across country when my gf and her were discussing the terms of the lease. My gf is super pissed because she was not planning on having that much wear and tear on her vehicle in one summer and I'm pissed because my gf isn't happy which means I don't get the good quality sexy time that I deserve.(well that and I just think this is fucked up) In the rental agreement the girl was required to get the car fully detailed and a tune-up before returning it, and provide all the paperwork(she has not done this) She only got an oil change. We are unsure as to what our next step should be. Can anyone on reddit help us out..I sure hope so...
Link to Contract. Sorry she doesn't have a scanner so I had to be McGyver and take a photo using her macbook... | Gf got fucked over by girl who borrowed her car who said she would only drive a little bit and instead drove 11,000 miles in two and a half months... |
t3_47fszw | relationships | My [17M] insists on wearing a condom while I'm [17F] on the pill | my boyfriend (17m) is still using condoms even though I'm (17f) on the pill and he pulls out. we used to have sex with out condoms and just use the pill and the pull out method. but he decided it was too risky. he got into his dream college, and he's scared that a baby could ruin it for him. I told him even if that did happen I would make him stay at school. but, he insisted he would leave school. I'm very on top of taking my pill on time, I've been on it for 9 months, so I don't understand why he's changed his mind. it's just an Inconvenience when we don't have a condom. I just want sex to be enjoyable and no stress like it used to be. I think sometimes he gets turned off when we can't find a condom or he doesn't have any feeling with a condom on. We regularly get into arguments about this. Is he being stupid for wanting this much protection, or should I just drop it and let him wear one? | Is my BF being stupid for wanting to wear a condom while I'm on the pill at this age or should I drop it and let him? |
t3_3uk4nr | relationship_advice | Calling all men-- ADVICE PLEASE on relationship | Hi guys,
I recently dated a guy for 3 years. We're both now 25. We've been long distance (NY to NC) for 6 months now, but had plans to move in together and get engaged as soon as I'm back in NC in 6 more months. 3 weeks ago he flew me to NC and we spent a long weekend alone and it was incredible. More marriage talk, baby talk, how he hadn't been this happy since I left 6 months ago talk. I was on cloud 9. Some backstory: his dad has been divorced 4 times and knows about a few issues we've had in the past and has advised him before that I'm just not worth it. He's always brushed him off. Last Friday, he called to tell me he was going to be fishing with his dad all weekend and wouldn't have service but would call me Sunday. Never got a call. I called and texted and didn't hear back till Tuesday; short answers. On Wednesday he told me we "just aren't going to work out right now" but won't tell me if this means a breakup or that he'll come running back. He's needed space before and always came back. It's just confusing... He won't answer the few texts I've sent him but he checks my Snapchat story religiously and I know he checks my Insta and Twitter. What gives? If he doesn't care why do that? Should I hold onto hope or just move the fuck on? Remember, I was in love with him for a long time & we went through a lot together. | relationship with BF was great regardless of distance. Abrupt breakup this week. Still stalks my social media. Will he come back or... Should I move on? |
t3_39u56s | relationships | Myself [19 F] and a friend friend [20 M] had a brief fling a while ago, which ended on good terms, but now that I've started seeing other people he seems to want to bring it back | Myself and Conor have been friends for about a year, since we both started college. He's been my best friend for about half that time, we tell each other everything and he knows me better than some people I had been friends with for all of my secondary school years. We've been there for each other through really tough situations and he's great fun to be around in general.
Then about two months ago something changed. What had been a completely non-sexual relationship before turned into sexting, and eventually we began to have sex in real life. However, we figured out pretty quickly that there wasn't the right kind of chemistry between us and a month ago mutually decided to go back to being just friends, thankfully without any sense of awkwardness.
Which brings us to today. I was texting him about a date I had last night (a normal enough topic for us, before things turned sexual two months ago we always talked about guys/girls we were seeing, he had gotten with a few girls since we ended things but this was my first date since then). Conor's first response was "did he do (insert sexual act I had enjoyed back when we had sex)?", and then he went on to send me the kind of message he would have sent to start things off back when we sexted each other. I called him out on it, and he responded that he just wanted to see if it would still work on me, which I'm not sure that I buy but it's still a pretty messed up thing to do if it's true.
So basically, what the heck do I do here? I value Conor's friendship, but this really made me uncomfortable. He knows himself that a sexual relationship wasn't going to work between us, and yet first date I have since then and he's bringing all that up again. | had a brief "friends with benefits" thing with a male friend, things ended mutually but now he's bringing it up again |
t3_1f6u5e | tifu | TIFU by shaving my balls in the shower | I'd never attempted this before, but proceeded (with great care), with the only razor in the house at the time - Dad's face one, but he was never going to find out. The fuck up wasn't in the the shaving itself - everything went smoothly, and I then went off to school.
BUT - I later got a call from my Mum, yelling down the phone 'WHAT DID YOU SHAVE THIS MORNING, THE DRAINS ARE COMPLETELY BLOCKED!'. So I was like 'Umm, my face'. She didn't buy this, so I hung up.
I later went home to find my Dad, the voice of reason - 'I'd rather you hadn't used my face razor, but it must have been his legs, go on son, show your Mum your shaved legs'. Shit. So I pull up my trouser leg to reveal my hairy legs - my parents look shocked. 'I shaved my balls, I'm really sorry'.
A shit storm of anger proceeded - 'WITH MY RAZOR!' 'ALL THAT HAIR CAME FROM YOU BOLLOCKS!?' 'DID YOUR GIRLFRIENT ASK FOR THIS?!' 'GO AND CLEAR IT'
I spent the next couple of hours picking my pubes out of the blocked drain. And my Dad brings it up frequently around my friends and family. And I owe him a new razor. | Shaved balls with Dad's razor, blocked the drains, had to confess, pick out my pubes, and Dad told everyone. |
t3_39zk2q | legaladvice | Australia, workplace bullying | Hi guys, really need some advice on what to do in my current situation. Two months ago I won $20,000 when I bought some tickets through work for the V8 Supercars. The tickets were a prize for mechanic of the month. When I bought them I used my ticketek account and it (unbeknowns to me) entered my ticketek account into the draw to win $20k. Well I won and I did the right thing and told my boss making sure I wasn't doing the wrong thing. He said he'd check it out with head office and get back to me.
Now the company I work for are very money hungry and will almost do anything to get it. I checked with HR myself and they said that more than likely the money was mine because it was my ticketek account that won the money. My boss came back to me and said that I could keep $1,000. I asked what would happen if I didn't give it to them? He said that I would be "performance managed out of the business". I said I'd think about it and went back and said I'd go 50/50 because I didn't really feel like losing my job. I haven't given them the $10k yet. Fast forward to yesterday morning.
Yesterday morning I was sending off my weekly reports and I was down $9,000 on retail labour sales - which had been moved out by the accountant for a sales deal from last month, so in my report I explained that and sent it off to head office.
My boss then calls me into his office and rips my head off for "dobbing on him" and proceeded to challenge me on my poor performance. I responded with legitimate reasoning (not selling enough cars) and he had no reasonable response except to say that if I didn't find another job I'd be performance managed out of the business.
I don't really want to make too much of a big deal about it, but he has done this to people before and will do it again and he shouldn't be able to. Where do I stand and what should I do? I could transfer to another location within my company or look for something outside? Any help would be really appreciated. | boss didn't get my money, threatened to sack me, I got boss in trouble unintentionally, threatened to sack me. Where do I stand? |
t3_39c0ao | relationships | I am [23 F] planning a suprise birthday party for my depressive brother [30 M] on Saturday. I just found out he has the birthday blues... I need advice on what to do. | My brother just turned 30 today, and I'm planning a surprise party with all of his friends on Saturay. He has been struggling with depression for about 4 years now (maybe more, but it wasn't diagnosed). I think he might be depressed because he's never been in a relationship with a woman (he's straight), is still in school, and all of his friends are building families and have careers... Nevertheless, I didn't except him to be depressed about turning 30. He's actually been open about talking about what he wanted for his birthday when I asked him before, and didn't seemed phased by turning 30 at all. In fact, he's the type that usually considers his birthday as just a normal day, but with cake and presents.
Today, I posted on Facebook about how I was proud and happy to have such an awesome big brother, etc, with pictures of us as kids. After, I sent him a regular ''happy birthday'' on Facebook Messenger. When I got no answer, and saw that he read the message, I jokingly told me that you usually say ''thank you''. He answered me, ''I'm sorry. I'm avoiding Facebook today. Thank you''. Plus, he's been ignoring all birthday messages from our mother (who sent him a message on his cell phone, e-mail address and Facebook Messenger haha...). We all have a good relationship.
I'm wondering if the surprise party is a good move, in this case? Or will it make things worst? | My brother just turned 30 and is depressed about it. I'm wondering if throwing him a surprise party on Saturday is a good move. |
t3_4p2k76 | legaladvice | I don't know if this is the right place for it but need advice | So it all started using the app called Plenty of fish(Pof). Saw this girl and I thought it looked fake but I went with it. She ask for my number and I gave it to her. We start talking and we swap pics. Next she sends me nudes but I notice something different about the picture but I was like ok I went with it and I sent one as well. None of her pictures had her face. Then we start talking and she said we should meet up. I said sure lets meet up soon. Then she leaves and I got a call from a man saying this is her father. So I was like ok well I'm getting scam of course saying her daughter is underage. So I hung up thinking yeah right I knew something was fishy. I deleted everything because I cant believe fell until the trap and right when I was about to block him he sends me message saying that he will contact my parents and even had my full name but not my middle. So I was like ok maybe this is not bullshit. We get to talking and says that his wife is out somewhere and doesn't know. We hang up. Calls me shortly and says he stopped his wife from contacting the police station. So he says that he talked his wife and that I should be paying for their daughters counseling. He said if that he sends me the papers that its a binding contract out side of court for settlement. He also said that he recorded all our conversations. So he ask when can expect a payment I said several months. I said that because I need to be sure I'm not getting scam. He said he will contact me in the few months. Is this another scam or is this real. | send nudes to a supposedly underage girl. get contact by suppose father and trying to figure if this is real or not. I'm in the US. |
t3_26exw8 | relationships | Ended a 4-year relationship, moved halfway across the world. Will she forget about me? | Hi guys, first time ever posting anything like this. Just want to know what other people think about this.
Was in a fantastic 4-year long-distance relationship, I'm [24M] now, she's a [25F] in Europe. However, I moved away to Hong Kong for a job. I was poor in Europe, hungry and basically unemployed.
I needed a break in my life where I wasn't always wondering about where I was going to live or what I could afford to eat. I had to man up and think about my situation. However, I always intended to return to Europe.
At the airport leaving, she was in tears. I wasn't really emotional. I knew what I was doing and why I had to do it. We agreed to break contact shortly after, because everytime we Skyped or spoke, it would be too painful for her. I would be fine, but she would be crying during these conversations.
After 6 months, having found a decent job and actually having money for once in my life, her birthday came up. That's when I really began to miss her a lot. I posted her a gift, but I don't know if she has recieved it or not (it has been nearly a week).
Basically I want to know if it's possible to go back in a situation like this. Will she have already moved on after 6 months? The relationship was amazing. I felt like it was a lot deeper than any other relationship I've witnessed - But is this just something that everyone thinks anyway?
Sorry if my post is long. I hope my explanation is not too unclear. I feel like it's a very unique situation, but maybe I am young and I still have a small perception of the world? | Finished a loving 4-year relationship to cross the world for a job. Want to go back in a year or so. Can she already have moved on? |
t3_2evoh5 | tifu | TIFU by going to Law School | Like most of the posts here this didn't happen today, it happened about a year ago. Anyway I had a very hard time choosing what I wanted to study in college. At the end I decided to go for law school since it seemed interesting and the program at my college didn't have a single maths class. HUGE MISTAKE... Now I'm not bad at maths, I just get bored easily and never paid attention in class so my maths scores in high school are all average (75-80). Anyway I'm currently in my second semester of law school (forgot to mention that in my country the first semester goes from January to June and the second from July to December) and I'm absolutely hating this shit. I just get bored in every class and I've lost all interest. Thank God I've seen the light and decided to change to Computer Science next semester. Even better my dad was pretty cool about it and said I should do what I love. And that makes me feel very bad because I made him waste money and I wasted my time due to an irrational fear of maths. Just felt I needed somewhere to talk about this besides family and friends. And I learned that you shouldn't avoid stuff because you're afraid of it. | Made a terrible career choice, wasted my dad's money, my time and now I'm changing to something I like better. |
t3_4d9jpo | tifu | TIFU by getting my dick stuck in a Gatorade bottle | Okay, I'm going to start off by saying this did *not* happen today but I just discovered this subreddit and, well, the shoe fits.
I'm an avid deer hunter, I mainly bow hunt but being from Minnesota rifle season is somewhat of a statewide holiday week. Regardless, the scene is about 11:00 AM and I'd just walked out to my deer stand to sit out the rest of the night. It's an enclosure approximately 16 feet off the ground with flip down windows and a trap door floor with ladder to enter through.
After sitting for about two hours and consuming an exorbitant amount of coffee, I had a pretty severe urge to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to pee out the door or climb down and risk scaring a deer in my proximity, I chose an empty Gatorade bottle that remained in my stand from the previous day.
Now, a standard Gatorade bottle has an opening approximately 1 inch in diameter which was ample room for a guy spending hours in 30° F Minnesota weather. Unfortunately, as the bottle filled up, the heat coming out of the bottle caused everything to resume it's normal proportions.
The tricky part came when, due to certain design characteristics of the male phallic organ and certain laws of pressure differentials, once I attempted retreat the Chinese finger cuffs effect took over. But the genius that I am decided the best way to fix a problem is to backtrack to the source. So in order to fix the situation I flipped down a window and dangled the whole assembly out into the November breeze.
After a matter of seconds the biological repercussions freed my dick from its plastic, urine filled prison and I sat back down in defeat with a piss filled bottle in one hand and my newly frozen man mushroom in the other.
I'm not sure what the life lesson here is except maybe "don't put your dick in it if you're not prepared for the consequences" applies to inanimate objects as much as unplanned pregnancies. | Tried to piss in a bottle, got my dick trapped, stuck it out the window to re-shrink and remove* |
t3_33uehb | relationships | Me (23M) with my GF(23F) of 1 year, she doesn't like my interests | Throwaway because reasons.
So as the title says, I've been with my GF for about one year now, and we live together. We're two very different people, but for the most part have been very happy. The past couple months though she's been irritated about things I've always had an interest in. For example, I love music, especially metal. I don't play it around her, but she hates the band shirts I wear, to the point where she'll pout and sometimes refuse to cuddle if I'm wearing one around her.
I also like different shows too, including anime. She makes a point to call me immature and childish, and gets upset too if I'm watching anime when she gets home from work, saying she doesn't need that and how I need to turn it off before she gets home.
The other night though, when we went to bed (I was pretty drunk so I don't remember a whole lot, she was not) she kept saying I should stop liking the things I do because they're childish and stupid, and like the things she does.
What should I do reddit? Am I in the wrong, or am doing nothing wrong? | GF doesn't like the same things I do, makes fun of me and says I need to grow up. What do? |
t3_1lm75f | offmychest | I'm sick and tired of it! | My brother is turning 14 in two weeks. He just started High School last week, and guess what. He still sleeps in my mother and step father's bed. He has no respect for either of them, cursing at them, calling them names, hitting them when he is really angry.
But even with all that, it's not the worst part. The worst part is that my parents do the same to him (of course, it's where he learned it). Every single night there is a fight about something. Whether it's my mother's immaturity and inability to communicate, my step father's quick temper, or my brother's disrespect.
Every single night. They all need help and would never seek it. It tears my heart apart to be here. My mother thinks she knows how to be healthy but doesn't, there are no snack, healthy or unhealthy, and all our meals are too large and they all eat huge servings, and complain when they are told by doctors they are overweight.
I can't stand living here, but as of right now I can't afford to leave. I could go live with my father, but he lives with my sister who I don't even know, and who is a complete bitch. She is a hoarder and the room is filthy, which I would have to share with her. The house is unkempt because my father can't keep up with my sister's mess. It's almost as bad as over here.
I can't stand living here because everyone is a child and no one speaks to anyone with respect, I've tried so many times to teach them how to communicate with each other, but they don't learn because they don't want to change. They love the fighting. Sometimes so much so that it starts in the morning. Normally there are multiple fights a night, always simple, but always blown out of proportion, loud, and toxic. | My 14 year old brother sleeps with my parents and his lack of respect and my parent's immaturity causes loud, cruel, and aggressive fights daily. |
t3_1igp6a | relationships | Mixed signals with my ex [25 m] and myself [22f]. How can we avoid the proxy relationship and mixed signals? | I've been best friends with the ex until we started dating. We were together about three months (we weren't really physical, we only kissed and cuddled), but he decided that he couldn't handle a relationship with a lot of distance in it. We still decided to be friends, and are now, in fact, better friends--we still see each other every weekend and plan trips together.
I get really mixed signals from him now that we're friends. We don't kiss or hold hands anymore, but we definitely hug, and he'll put his arm around my shoulder when we walk or when he tells me things. He still also calls me every night to ask about my day and wants to see me more than when we were dating. He hasn't brought up dating again since we broke up, but he'll say stuff like, "I'm so happy you're in my life" and "we're a team, we're partners" and comment about our future adventures together or mention that I'd be a great mother. I really like spending time with him and being his friend and I do want...more...but I'm okay with where we're at now.
How do I filter through the mixed signals and how can I tell if we're just really good friends or if we're in a proxy relationship? | Ex and I are best friends, but I can't tell if we're just good friends or if we're in a proxy relationship. |
t3_1xuelx | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex-GF [24 F] of a few months, Trying to give a relationship another shot, not sure how to proceed | I'm using a throwaway because the person in question browses reddit frequently.
I (21 M) and my ex-girlfriend (24 f) dated last year for about a month. We didn't really do anything sexual, but spent some time together and it was fun. We ended the relationship mutually because neither of us had time to do it at that point.
I really want to give it another shot but I'm not sure how to approach the idea with her. I've thought about just sending her a text to see what's up and eventually if she wanted to get dinner sometime, but its been a month or two since we've talked. So, I'm basically seeking a second option of what others would do, to make sure I'm on the right thought process.
Another thing that I'm not sure how to proceed with is that Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I'm not sure how that would affect this whole situation. | We dated for a month, but mutually ended it since we couldn't spent a lot of time together. Haven't spoke for a few months, but I want to give it a shot. How should I proceed? |
t3_fnl4a | AskReddit | Wife doesn't want to have kids anymore. How should I deal with it? | So, I've always wanted a family of my own. When I met and at the time of my marriage to my wife she said she wanted a family as well. We discussed it in great length. We've been together for about 3 years now and she has recently started to make it pretty clear that she doesn't want kids. Natural or adopted. She hasn't come right out and said that we will never have kids but I think she is putting it off indefinitely in hopes that I will just give up on it. She is 34 and has often said that she is afraid to have kids after 35 because of the doubled risks for things like Downs, etc. She has said before that she's not that interested in adoption because of the lengthy process, the cost and the fact that the child might never feel like we are its real parents. My wife also tends to be on the negative/depressed side in general sometimes and claims that having a kid might depress her. She likes having our money for other things like vacations or going out to eat.
So, should I just accept the fact that we'll never have kids? I love my wife and we have a great relationship in every other way. How should I fill that gap in my life? Answers from people who actually want kids would be great. Don't say things like "kids suck anyway" because I don't believe that. | My wife claimed she wanted kids before marriage and now says she doesn't want them. What should I do to deal with it? |
t3_23hryn | relationships | I[28F] want to refresh sex life with hubby[31M] after 10 years together...I am craving the intimacy/newness spark | Let me clarify that I love my husband more than anything. He is an incredible partner and I am very lucky to have him as my partner and my husband in life, and to share such history. We used to date long distance so that always kept things interesting and kept us wanting more. We had a great sex life and are very open and honest about what we like and what we want to try.
Our sex life now is good, but not great. This is mostly my fault. I used to be *very* sexual and want it all the time and now I can go days and days, probably even a week or two, without really feeling the need to engage sexually. I do engage, because I want that intimacy and I want our relationship to stay strong. And I enjoy our sexy time. He is passionate and considerate and amazing in bed. I'm five months pregnant, which is not the root of the lack of interest, but it throws interesting wrenches in the mix.
I just feel like we do the same thing over and over and over with our behaviour. Initiate sex, go. "Want to have sex?" "Ok." Undress and bang. Literally. I read books and see movies where the characters are getting to know each other, testing the waters, initiating first touches and kisses and feeling the excitement and heat and even anxiety, and I miss that. I don't want someone else, but I want *that*, that spark or newness, as it were.
We've talked about taking more time to build up to sex, spending more time connecting before we do anything, but I don't think he gets it. It just seems like he thinks it's a waste of time or silly and often he makes a joke of it which a) hurts or b) really fucking pisses me off and then c) ruins the mood. And he knows.
I need tips. How do we/I get that "new" feeling again? How do we make it fresh and exciting, without constantly needing to roleplay or introduce some other unsustainable activity? | Feel like hubby and I are doing the same thing in bed, more on autopilot and not connecting. Want to capture the "newness" of relationship again where touches and sexy times are exciting and bring us together. |
t3_uosqm | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most terrible thing you've heard someone else do? | I was having a chat with my new concierge friend at my building when he began to tell me this story.
In his old country (somewhere in Africa) he was a driver for a hospital. One day he was transporting 20 people from one hospital to another when he needed to get some gas. He walks away to take a pee and when he returns he notices that he forgot to lock the people in. Unfortunately for him, they've all escaped.
Now fearing to lose his job, he drives up to a busy bus stop and tells the people there that he's heading to the city and will take some of them there. He rounds up 20 people and makes his way.
After some time of driving in the city the people begin to get panicky. He ignores them and drops them off at the hospital. The doctor inspects them and assigns them to their respective wards effectively trapping them there for days.
I tell him he's a terrible person (jokingly, so he doesn't murder me or something) as he's laughingly finishing off the story and slowly back away to the elevators.
Reddit... do you have any stories similar to this? Are there more terrible people out there like this? | Hospital driver loses a batch of crazy people. Tells randoms at bus stop he'll take them to the city. Gets them stuck at the hospital for days |
t3_18lmit | relationships | My (21m) girlfriend (24f) had sex with her ex-boyfriend while we were dating but not "official/exclusive". | Preface: My new girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years a couple of months ago. He lived with her up until a couple weeks ago. He couldn't move out for financial reasons and the fact he couldn't find a new place. I was ok with it since he was pretty much a roommate at that point (or so I thought).
NOW... The question..
My new girlfriend who I have been dating for 2 months, exclusive for 1 month, admitted to me a few nights ago that a couple of days *BEFORE* we had the "exclusive" talk, she had sex with her ex-boyfriend. He made a move, and she went with it. She said she felt horrible and cried afterward because of what she felt she'd done to me. They were together for over 5 years and I'm sure there were feelings still there. This happened a little over a month ago and she claims to have not had sex with him since. However, she did admit that he tried to kiss her (after we were exclusive), and she backed away, yet their lips touched for a brief second and she told him to leave. I believe her, and she's been crying about it and feeling horrible. I already forgave her and took her out for Valentine's day, but a part of me feels betrayed and cheated. Half of my friends are saying to move on because we "technically" weren't "official" or "exclusive" while the other half of my friends are telling me to ditch her because she's not worth dating. I'm just curious how redditors would feel about this situation because I truly like the girl and my instinct says to forgive her but I don't know... Thanks in advance for any help! | Current GF had sex with her ex-boyfriend (who was living with her) a few days BEFORE we became "exclusive". She admitted this to me because she felt horrible about it. |
t3_2ln22w | relationships | SO (26 M) not attracted to me (22 F) in comparison to exes. | (Throwaway because my boyfriend knows my account name)
Ive been dating this guy for almost a year now. Early on he claimed that he used to be very sexual in his past..information I have kept in the back of my head. For the past several months he has barely initiated. I have been rejected on many occasions. He is clearly not very enthused by me. I finally directly asked him about it a few nights ago. I asked him what the deal was sexually and why he didn't seem attracted to me. I alluded to the fact that he claimed to previously be very sexual. He immediately admitted that he is not really sexually attracted to me and that he was more attracted to his ex girlfriends.
This was obviously very upsetting for me to hear. In addition to the lack of sexual attention he also has complimented my appearance maybe twice in the entire relationship, only saying that I am a pretty girl. I receive a decent amount of attention from men out and about. I am pretty secure about that fact that I'm an attractive girl. I don't know what is going on with him. I guess I just want to hear anyone's opinions on the situation and if anyone has gone through something similar. My first instinct was to dump this person since he isn't attracted to me and was insensitive enough to actually tell me that in comparison to his exes. Thanks in advance for any help :( | Boyfriend admitted to not being attracted to me, and told me he was more attracted to his exes. Should I dump him for this? |
t3_3ffwou | relationships | Me [20F] Parents are making me have a 21st when I really don't want to | So I will be turning 21 in a little over a month's time. Where I'm from it's quite common to have a big party to celebrate your 21st and as everyone is expecting me to throw a party and I'd like to as I really enjoy hosting. However this time it's a bit different. Where I'm from it's normal to invite all the extended family to your party, but thanks to my parents I have little to no relationship with any of my relations and so my mother proposes I have a smaller family party in the house for all the relations and then a big party for my friends somewhere else.
I don't know how to tell her I really don't want that. When I was younger I assumed it was cause we were so little we were never included in any family events (mother would attend, dad would stay and look after us) but even now my mother refuses to include me even though I'm an adult so I see most of my mother's family maybe once, twice a year. My dad's family is just as bad as my parents hide so many things about me and my siblings from them (I'm not allowed tell them I drink (I am legal in my country) , that I've a boyfriend etc). It's incredibly frustrating having to lie all the time. This is why I don't want the family party as I don't want to spend an evening hiding parts of my life and sitting in the corner being terribly uncomfortable.
The party with my friends is similar. My mother is insistent on her my dad and my younger siblings attending but I really don't want it. My mother has a tendency to make me feel incredibly self-conscious about my behaviour and not disappointing her and I know I'll spend the whole evening stone cold sober sitting with them listening to my mother make mean remarks about the friends she doesn't like, when I should be having fun at my own party.
My parents keep bringing this up the party and I know this sounds like a very petty and self-centred problem but it is causing me anxiety and I'd rather just ignore my birthday entirely just so I don't have to go through with it | Parents want me to have a 21st party, one for family one for friends. I want neither due to my parents making feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious. |
t3_53gexm | tifu | TIFU by setting fire on my house's terrace | This TIFU happened a few years ago (as most here).
There were in my town some trucks that went around selling cute chicks, irresistible for children who would not get tired of asking their unfortunate parents to buy them.
My parents got me two.
We made this nice wooden house for the chick that didn't take long to become *teenager* chickens.
By the same time I purchased a very cool magnifying glass that I used to use to burn every single thing that my scary mind could think of: ants, hair strings, boiler water etc etc.
One day after a long session of burning living insects I hurried up to go to my swimming class. I left my magnifying glass on top of the chicken's house.
It was a very hot day. I should mention we kept a blanket rolled up on top of the chicken's house so at night we could cover it to keep them warm.
I came back from swimming and went straight to my terrace to have more *fun*.
There, I found the two absolutely terrified chicken standing on top of the wall. I look to my side and found their house in ashes with some smoke still and my melted magnifying glass in the middle of it.
Luckily the fire didn't expand to the other floors.
Fun fact:
After some years my parents cooked the chicken and didn't tell me until I had finished eating them. | I left my magnifying glass on the chicken's house in my terrace. It set the thing on fire and almost baked the chicken along with my house. |
t3_41rbrw | relationships | I (28F) want to surprise my SO (36M) of 2 years with a Caribbean cruise. Is this too forward? | Title says it all.
Scott and I have been together for almost 2 years (in March!). We've been talking about different fun trips we went on as kids/teens.
He has expressed and kept bringing up interest in a cruise to the Caribbean and wishes he could afford it. I actually make exactly double to the dot what he makes and CAN afford it. But I know he would feel demasculated if I offered to pay for it. About a month ago his car totally broke down and I chipped in a few thousand for his new car, it was absolutely no big deal to me and I offered, he didn't ask, but he still feels guilty that I helped him out.
He even talked about what cruise line he wanted to sail on. Now I really want to go, as I have a summer birthday and would be more then thrilled to celebrate my birthday in the Caribbean with my lover.
Would it be too forward to just go ahead and buy the cruise for us as a surprise/gift to him? I don't want it to come across as me throwing my money in his face either. | I want to surprise my Boyf with a trip to the Caribbean as I can afford it and he can't. Would it be rude of me to do this? |
t3_3wss44 | relationships | My [23 F] boyfriend [24 M] of 1.5 years says he isn't romantically interested anymore, only sexually and as a friend. | Hi reddit. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and have lived together since May. For the first year of our relationship, everything was perfect and it seemed like the honeymoon period was never going to end. No fights, we always had fun adventures together, and we made each other incredibly happy.
We moved into a house together in May, thinking it was the best option and we were super excited about it. However, things started to go downhill a few months after that. My job sent me into a deep depression, the bills and chores were overwhelming and he didn't like to be nagged about them, he was stressed about his job, and we fell into a routine.
He stopped acting interested in me - wouldn't kiss or cuddle, didn't want to go on dates or adventures, and I knew something was wrong. After several discussions about this, he finally admitted he no longer felt romantically interested in me, although he was still very sexually interested and still had fun spending time with me.
He feels like this is grounds for a breakup - but I feel like it is just a normal occurrence when you move in with someone and share your life to the extent that we do. I feel like if he put effort into it - doing the things we used to do, like taking trips together, taking dance lessons, hiking, etc - he would feel those feelings again. We just need to break out of the routine we're in.
What do you think? Is he right in that those feelings are gone for good, or do you think there is a way to get them back? If it's possible to regain romantic feelings for someone, how would we go about that? | Boyfriend has lost romantic feelings for me but not other feelings. If we spice up our lives, can he get those feelings back? |
t3_2xbb4a | relationships | My[24F] boyfriend[24M] of 6 months is meeting up with his semi-recent ex girlfriend and lying about it. | I have seen my boyfriend texting an unknown number a lot recently, and it's been happening since before New Years 2014. I'm not one to snoop and I would never resort to check his phone (our relationship is very heavily based on trust) but I have seen he has been meeting up with her on occasion.
For example, today he is seeing her whilst I'm at work, and I know this because the text message popped up on his phone when it was next to me, reading "Friday @ 12pm, see you then :)"
After finding this out, I have asked what his plans are for today, and he has simply said 'meeting a friend at 12' - I could have pried further, but I didn't. I'm hoping he might tell me eventually, but I don't know.
It's not jealousy - his ex was emotionally abusive and although he always speaks of her being 'one of the most interesting people [he] has ever met', he admitted that he does not find her attractive, so I'm partially relieved knowing this from past conversations. It's more the fact that he has lied to me countless times about this.
Other (possibly useful) information - I have met up with my long-term ex once while being with my current boyfriend, told him about it, he was upset about it as this ex was physically abusive and we both agreed that I would not see him again. | Why is my boyfriend lying to me about meeting up with his ex-girlfriend? I doubt there are romantic feelings, and I am not the jealous type, so why lie? Should I let it go or bring it up with him? |
t3_242ev2 | relationships | I know my [40/F] best friend's [40/F] mother is dying, but my friend doesn't, should I tell her? Friends for 40 years. | I know my [40/F] best friend's [40/F] mother is dying, but she doesn't, should I tell her? Friends for 40 years.
That's pretty much all of it. Her mother is in the ICU with a condition that is temporarily treatable, but that I know as medical professional is the beginning of the end. Her mother may have a few years left in her, but this is it. There comes a time in one's elderly life when it becomes one thing after another and this is the start.
I don't know if I should let my friend hope, or let her know to prepare herself for the inevitable. She keeps saying "the doctors are optimistic." But that means that the doctors will be able to treat this current situation, which I am sure they can. But the fact that she is in this condition is a sign that systems are failing and the clock is ticking down. Oy vey. | I'm a medical professional and my friend is not, in describing her mother's condition I realize that her elderly mother has started her final decline. Should I tell my friend? |
t3_4mrbha | relationships | All my [20's/F] SO [20's M] of 4 years does is play video games all day then wants to have sex. | We both are 29 not 20 sorry for that.
*Colin and i have been dating for 4 years and living together for 2. All he, seems, to do is play video games all day.
When I've complained about the lack of time we spend together he defends himself with "We just ate dinner together last night" or "We just watched an episode [insert tv show here] yesterday."
Then when hes done playing video games, in the wee hours of the morning he'll come in to the bedroom and want to have sex. | I love my So but He play video games 60+hours a week. And probably wouldnt notice I left the house till he wanted sex or food. Please advise. |
t3_34pp50 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my Ex since last night [32 M] of 5 1/2 years , A week after our first session of couples counciling and we broke up | This relationship should have ended 4 1/2 years ago, but it finally ended last night. I guess I just need some suggestions to get me through this. I have been struggling through my teaching program to make ends meet. I can't afford to live on my own without throwing away 5 years of hard work.
My only option is to go back to my mothers. It is a very unhealthy environment due to my emotionally abusive father who is bi-polar living there. Fortunately, he is a long distance truck. driver who is only home two days a week. I only have one year left until I graduate. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this. To make this worse, last year I sold my car that I had for ten years because my ex-fiance's dad wanted me to have a reliable car for student teaching. It's in my exes name so I'm left with nothing. Unprepared to handle life because our life was so wrapped around eachother. | My ex and I broke up after 5 1/2 years and I'm basically left with nothing and no healthy place to go |
t3_1wu9xq | relationships | Is it weird? Is this a consequence of my previous relationship? | Is it weird that I dont feel the need to talk to my boyfriend everyday? In all honesty, I could probably be perfectly fine going two or three days..even more, without really talking to him. I do miss him dearly though. He lives on the other side of the country for work and he only comes home for 10 days every 20 - 50 days. We have been spending time together for about a year but have only been exclusive for just over two months. I get the sense that this stresses him out sometimes..it gives him doubts about my feelings for him.. and I kind of get it.I do care about him a lot. He often wants to talk on the phone but I usually am not up for it. When we do speak over the phone its usually for an hour or two though so its not like we have problems communicating or like I dont enjoy talking to him. Infact I am always really happy after we finish talking.
I guess I am also concerned about if this could be a result of my previous relationship. It was higly toxic and abusive. Mentally, physically and sexually...which of course has caused some other issues in the relationship that we have been trying to work through. I am more reserved and detached from emotions.I just get the sense that this is abnormal...I mean, I never use to be this way.. arent I suppose to not be able to get enough of him in the begginning off our relationship. Isnt that 'normal'?
He has said that he feels like he usually has to take the initiative to talk..and like he is trying to break down walls with me but I give him nothing. He is a very independant guy dont get me wrong, he is just crazy about me and if it was up to him we would communicate as much as possible. | Im just looking for some insight. Is this maybe an effect from an abusive relationship? Is this weird? I dont feel the need to talk to my boyfriend that often. |
t3_3j1mu4 | relationships | [Dating]Me [M17] having second thoughts about dating this girl [F18] Also semi-LDR | Alright,so over the course of a year give or take I met this girl through a friend.She's an art student who's somewhat awkward(we kinda both are in some ways),an example being she gets nervous around my friends.She's also a built like an marshmallow but I still find her quite adorable.
I find that out of all the girls I've talked to she's the one I enjoy talking to the most and I feel like this is a mutual thing.So I ask her out,she said yes and now we're two weeks deep into this.Down side being the only way we can meet each other is by taking a 1.5-2 hour bus ride.
But the problem I'm having right now is that the past few weeks those text conversations we have are gone.We talk less frequently and it lasts a lot shorter than before.I've confronted her about this and she says its because of all the art homework she has to do,so me being clueless on how this school works lets that slide.But I still have this uneasy feeling that she's not interested anymore.Any chance we got to meet each other seems like an amazing time together and I love it.
What should I do as I'm very inexperienced in this kinda stuff.Should I confront her,hold out a little longer,or just drop it?Or is this all just in my head? | Girl and I have talked less frequently in a LDR and I feel she's lost interest in me?what should I do? |
t3_19oydu | travel | Lost a laptop on a flight, now it's in the Dominican Republic. Help greatly appreciated from anyone who may be familiar with the area! | My sister left her work laptop on a flight (Atlanta to Newark), and it just appeared on find my mac ...in the Dominican Republic.
We've oddly enough got a friend visiting there now who owes me a huge favor, but before I send him anywhere near there I want to ensure that I'm not sending him to a drug den or something along those lines.
This is probably the shot of all shots in the dark, but if anyone is familiar with the area, can offer any information about that location, or has an idea of someone we might contact in the area (besides the embassy) it would be enormously appreciated.
The coordinates are:
19.488638,-70.734348
I've tried every piece of google-fu and spanish-google-fu I can think of on the area, but other than the gas station that's highlighted, can't seem to determine much about the area. Unfortunately the Dominican Republic seems to be low on the Google Street view priority list, so there's no help to be found from that.
We're offering the laptop (New-ish 13" Mac Book Air) as a reward if its found, as all she requires are the files which shes REALLY needs to keep her job.
Thanks for reading. | Lost Macbook Air pinged back from Santiago, Dominican Republic. Hoping you travelers may know something about the area, as we may send some one to it. |
t3_4mik5x | personalfinance | Parents getting older and I need to talk to them about their future, need advice on how to approach this topic and anything I can do to prepare. | Hey PF. Like the title says, I could use some advice. Im 29/f, and finally in decent financial shape (paying down student loans quickly, decent emergency fund, 401k and Roth IRA contributions every month), but my parents are not. Through a series of events including the 2008 crash, job loss, helping to pay for college for 2 kids while not prioritizing saving for themselves, they are both approaching 60 relatively unprepared. I dont know too much about their assets because they dont talk about those things, but I know they will be paying their current mortgage until my father is 80, and have about 50k (this is a just a guess, but not a conservative one) in savings/other assets that they are determined not to touch in case of emergencies. My mother is still in good health but my father is diabetic and has had one battle with cancer. How can I talk to them about the future? Thee few times I've brought it up, they seem resistant, and I know my father is simply planning to never retire. I want to be there for them, and I know that I need to be prepared. I dont want to wait until it is too late and I was wondering if there were any steps I could take now to help prepare them and myself financially for the impact of unplanned retirement/other life events? | My parents are approaching 60 with little saved for retirement. How can I speak frankly about this with them, and is there anything I can do to prepare for my father's potential unplanned retirement or other life events? |
t3_ree00 | AskReddit | I'm convinced I will die in 40 years of lung cancer, can a doctor even help me? | Last summer I worked at an asbestos lab where my duties were to prep samples and analyze some of them. Specifically, one of the responsibilities was to prepare larger samples that came in petri dishes and put them in tubes. We had vents and set places to work at and I followed procedure all the time. About a month of doing this kind of work (around 3 hours a day) I found out that the fan at the bench I was working on was a bit broken. Apparently, when you turn it on all the way, the fan isn't actually on all the way (barely on) and to turn it on all the way, you had to move the switch about 3/4 of the way. A month of doing this kind of work under a bad fan. This is what scares me. Some of the samples that I dealt with were very dirty and I know that some of them contained fibers because I know that some samples failed the tests.
I feel stupid that I didn't realize that the fan wasn't on all the way, but to be fair, I never heard it on all the way (its a lot louder when it is on 100%). Because of this, I'm fairly sure that I must have breathed in some fibers. Now, I also know that when you breathe in a fiber, it takes around 30-40 years for it to develop into lung cancer. During this time it just stays in your lungs and your body cannot break it down. They are microscopic pieces of rock.
I don't see a point of living life "healthy" anymore. I really feel like I will die in 30-40 years as a result of lung cancer because of this. I don't feel like a doctor can help me now because I don't have any symptoms, the fiber would just be in my lung.
My question is basically, am i wrong in that a doctor cannot help me? | Worked at an asbestos lab with a fan that wasn't on all the way, I think I breathed in more than one fiber and will die as a result of lung cancer. Can a doctor help me? |
t3_392pq5 | legaladvice | Police won't stop trying to get my personal info over a call I made... | I'm in Virginia.
Ok, so about a week and a half ago I was in my apartment building, and I got into the elevator. There were two men behind me, and they got off on a floor before mine. As they were leaving the elevator, one said to the other that they were going to **"just blow it up anyway"** and that they "hoped there weren't gonna be TOO MANY casualties". I may have overreacted a bit, but the way the dude said it just made me really concerned.
I talked to my friends about it and we all agreed that it would be a good idea to call the non emergency line just to be on the safe side. I called my state's non emergency line and told them what I heard, and they got me in touch with the sheriff. I didn't see the guy's faces and really couldn't give them any good info, but I told the sheriff what I heard and that I was concerned. He said it was good that I called and that he was going to look into it. I called from a friend's phone btw because my own phone was down.
Later that night the sheriff called back and said that they took bomb dogs to my building and searched, and they found nothing. He then pretty much demanded my name and **social security number**, but I told him I wanted to remain anonymous. He tried to pressure me to give him my info, but I explained again that I didn't want to and he hung up on me mid sentence.
Today he called my friend's phone again to "follow up" with me and demand my info again, but my friend told him that he wasn't going to give out my name or other info.
My question is, why is the sheriff not respecting my right to remain anonymous? Was it bad for me to call? I mean, what are you supposed to do when you hear something serious like that? | I reported a possible bomb threat from a friend's phone to a non emergency line, I chose to remain anonymous, sheriff has called twice now demanding my name and social security number. |
t3_35u3md | relationships | How do I (19F) go about being friends with my ex (19M)? | So, I met a guy at the beginning of college and we hit it off immediately. Long story short, we dated for about 8 months. We broke up Saturday (though I started the moving on process Friday, but that's a long story).
I was pretty pissed/hurt/upset for most of the weekend but after the wonderful support from friends (plus acing my finals...I'm pretty proud) I'm feeling much better and am basically over the whole ordeal.
Before all of this, I considered him my best friend and I still care about him. I'm not bitter in any way, and am taking this as a learning experience and bettering myself. I'm also realizing I was starting to become somebody's girlfriend, and not growing much as my own person. I am by no means wanting to get back together with him, but I do miss our conversations. I keep finding things/reading things that I want to share and he'd be the only person to really get it, but I'm not sure I can quite message him yet.
As I was heading to my major's building to speak with a professor before leaving, I passed him walking to his building and he looked pretty rough. I know he's really beating himself up over all of this. I kinda wanna message him letting him know everything is fine on my end. He's convinced he sucks for letting me go, because he still really appreciates me as a person but just wasn't 'in love' anymore.
Is it my place to message him, both with something I got really excited to show him and also reassuring him that I'm ok and there's no hard feelings? How do I got about being just friends, if possible? | I really wanna be friends with my ex, since after everything he's the person I would consider my best friend. I don't want to be in a relationship again. How do I go about friendship? |
t3_4q5oti | relationships | I F(24) think my boyfriend accidentally said he loved me? M(24) | I'll keep this short and sweet, but my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months. I had a series of not so great relationships prior and took a couple years off to be single and knew more of what I was looking for.
Anyway, he's great. I usually find something right away that is a yellow flag, or a turnoff, or something that causes concern but I just feel very happy around him. We spend almost every day together and things have moved faster than I anticipated.
We were talking the other night and I was joking around about myself and he said "it's okay I love you anyway" and kissed me on the forehead. I was kind of startled by it so I just kept the conversation going. I wasn't sure if it was a slip of the tongue or he was just really tired. I have no doubts that he cares about me and that things have been great, but I still didn't feel like he meant to say it.
But now that I'm thinking about it, I feel bad because what if he did and I brushed it off and kept talking? I didn't want to make a big deal of it in case he didn't mean to say it. I know this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I don't want him to feel rejected.
What should I do moving forward? | Boyfriend might have accidentally said I love you. I brushed it off and kept the conversation moving but now I feel bad and don't want him to feel rejected. |
t3_wfh80 | AskReddit | Reddit try to beat my second floor toilet clogging that ends up leaking trough the floor and damaging the roof downstairs with shit... | First off, it was an older relatives house which I did not know very well. I was relaxing browsing reddit on my phone, all done, wipe, and flush. The toilet apparently could not handle the amount of paper on it due to it being from the civil war era. Water starts to spew out like a motherfucking volcano and thankfully no nasty shit is coming out of it, just water. I head to try and close that knob to the waterline on the toilet but hence it was an antique from the chinese empire it was rusted open which not even Superman and Hulks offspring could close. At this point I really start to freak the fuck out and started throwing towels by the door so the water wouldn't go trough. Then I heard this scream from downstairs that will haunt me for the rest of my life ***"WTF There is water coming out the lights!"***. Turns out the house is so old that the wooden floor between the roof of the first floor and the bottom of the second was a hole and water started to go down the godforsaken rusted knob into the kitchen roof. At this point I call my Grandpa for help and let him take over. He freaked out but then he started laughing about it once he stopped the water, As I headed towards the kitchen I see about 20 towels on the floor with a gigantic coleman cooler collecting the water dripping out the light fixture. At that point everybody started yapping at me asking me what happened and blah "Oh there is shit!" blah blah "The roof is about to fall!" blah "BUT ITS NEW!" ***BLAH BLAH***. I sat down, pulled my phone out and took pictures. | Clogged up toilet. Toilet water all over. Freak the fuck out. Water leaks downstairs. Ruins roof. Some of my shit falls through a light fixture.I take phone and snap pics. |
t3_2n0c7f | relationships | I [F23] offered a friends-with-benefits relationship and was turned down by a slightly older guy [M25] yesterday. I consider myself attractive, an easy-going person, and have never been rejected like this. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Any chance he is gay? | edit: wow thought this sub was helpful...
This man is 100% single (as am I). I know because he told me himself.
I've known him for about 6 months through a friend, and we get along fine.
He has been flirty with me in the past, and makes physical contact with with his hands when we are hanging together.
I am attracted to this person, and suggested a FWB relationship, to which he responded negatively towards, and rejected the idea.
I am an attractive woman, and have never been rejected like this.
Did I do something wrong? Has anyone else been through this before?
Because of his response, and a few other things, like his taste in clothing, I am beginning to think he is gay.
The thing is, he doesn't act gay, and has actually explicitly stated his attraction to women he's seen while we were hanging in public as friends.
Don't really know what to do, and just need advice, and maybe if someone has been through this before, that would be great. | Got turned down, am attractive, want to know if anyone else has experienced something like this, and am wondering if there's a good chance he is gay? |
t3_3pw6cd | relationships | Me [21 M] with my crush [20 F], we've both broken up with people a few months ago, but I think I might like her | After my break up with my gf at the time, one of my friends introduced me to one of her mutual friends who'd also just been through a messy break up.
Both of us have had lapses for a couple of weeks with our ex's, but are both now moving on (it's been 3 months). We've gotten quite close in last few months, and I think she's really funny, cute and quirky as a person - someone I'm genuinely attracted to,
In our conversations we've talked about some deep stuff, and about how we viewed each others personalities etc. and were surprised at how accurate we were.
I think I like her, but I'm not sure how I should bring it up with her, or if I should, because I don't know if she likes me and I don't know if it's too soon after our break ups to think about it for either of us.
Right now, I'm waiting a bit to sort out my feelings, but should I ask her out, and how do I know when I'm over my ex completely? This girl's amazing and I don't want to ruin the closeness we've developed by jumping the gun etc. | My crush and I have both had break ups in the last 3 months, and I don't know if it's too soon, or how to bring it up with her |
t3_52i4cc | relationships | [27m] 4 dates with this girl. Not particularly interested and she's coming on strong. Want to end it but don't know how | Bit of background: Met on tinder. Spent the night together after 2nd meetup.
I'm not after a relationship at the moment for various reasons. As stated in the title, she's coming on pretty strong. I haven't Intentionally led her on, if at all (and it was her who asked me to come back to hers - I wasn't making any effort to escalate) and feel like it's run its course.
I'll admit I've never been the one in this position before and I have no idea what to do. The easy thing would be to ignore and forget her I've had a girl go silent and disappear after a few months and that was awful BUT a few months is considerably longer than 4 dates.
Maybe I am overestimating my 'worth' to her but I'm basing it all on observation and it certainly seems that way.
What to do? | 4 dates in with tinder girl. Fucked a few times. Coming on strong. Not interested in continuing anything and don't want a relationship. Do you need to "break up" after such a short time? How? |
t3_1uwkfa | relationships | Me [29 F] with my BF [27 M] 6 months, Do you think this is a good conversation to have with my BF? | We're really happy and get along great, but we've never had any "realtionship/where is this going" type talks. It's probably the best relationship I've ever been in though, and he's a great guy - if things continue as they are now, I see no reason why we couldn't make it something permanent down the road.
Now, with my 30th bday coming up, I'm realizing more and more that I can't afford to really waste time with just dating for the sake of it, if the realtionship doesn't have lasting potential. I would like kids and a famile one day and there's only so much time I have to safely do that as a woman.
I plan to start a converastion with him this weekend, somewhere along the lines of - where do you see this going/what would make this a successful relationship to you? And say, in a year's time, if we're still dating - what would you want this relationship to look like. Personally, I've thought about it myself, and have thought that I'd
1. like us to have met eachother's parents (his live overseas, and mine are far away too) He's never mentioned me meeting his parents yet. I"ve invited him on trip with mine, and they'll be visiting this summer - so it's obvious that will probably happen sometime this year.
2. Be spending the holidays together somewhere (likely with one of our respective families). We were apart this past year for them. He's already started to look at flights to book to go home again next year - but with no mention or inquiry into what my holiday plans are.
3. Be talking about/taking a step towards living together - we both currently rent and have leases that will end/be renewed this Fall.
Do you think this is a good way to frame my thoughs and sort of "probe" what he's looking for? I just think a conversation about "us" needs to happen soon, even if it's just to confirm that we're both happy and see this lasting down the road. I don't want to freak him out either, though. | After 6 months, am I safe to ask my bf "where do you see this going" without freaking him out? |
t3_2cigpi | relationships | Me [21M] has a crush on my superior [22F] for a full year now, not sure how to tell her or go about it, would love some advice. | I've had a crush on my superior for one year or so and honestly I never cared for anyone nearly as much, right now I'm at a point where I just don't know what to so next.
In two months I'll be leaving my job and possibly never see her again, and I don't know if I should bother telling her how I feel.
We never see each other outside of work, the most we so is casually chat sometimes, generally we're pretty friendly towards each other but I never felt as if there's anything more than that. I know the obvious answer should be to simply talk to her and see how she feels, but I very much doubt we can retain a friendly relationship and work will be very problematic.
She had a very long relationship which she just ended couple months back. Honestly can't say if she's over it out not because she's just amazing, really amazing at not showing how she feels.
I know that to a lot here this would seem very silly, but hopefully I could get a good advice on how to go about this. | I'm 21M got a crush on work superior 22F and wondering what's the best way to approach her without making everything uncomfortable. Would love some advice at what you think is best to so here. |
t3_49a6ok | relationships | I [22 M] have been dating my gf? [21 F] since the 3rd week in February, am unsure of where we stand, and want advice on how to proceed. | We both go to the same college, and began speaking on tinder. Despite a very busy schedule, she's made time to see me (3 dates) , and even invited me to her sorority's formal dance. At the same time, I haven't really felt any affection from her, and I'm worried she only wants me as a date for the dance. Is there a way to approach/push the issue to make sure I'm not setting myself up for heartbreak?
Relevant facts:
~She's been really busy, so maybe that's why she's distant .
~I'm really nervous about the dance, I'm not a dancer (nor do I really like parties/alcohol) and I'm pretty sure I won't know anyone other than her there. | How do I ask if I'm more than just a formal date when our only communication before the dance is text message? |
t3_fud8k | AskReddit | How Do I Get Rid of Silver Fish/Spiders From a 'Garden Level' Apartment?? | I wish I could tell you exactly what type of bug it is, but I've only ever seen it in the dark - when I've woken up to it looking me in the face from the edge of my boyfriend's pillow at 4am. It moves fast, has lots of legs, but seemed rounder than any silver fish I've seen before (definitely not a beetle, though). Extra fun tidbit: immediately after my freaking out upon seeing it, my boyfriend hugged me, and when I put my arm around him in return, I inadvertently hugged the bug as well, who had apparently taken cover from my screaming on his back. I ran yelling out of the room.
Every once in a while I'll wake up with two to three bites in the same area, that swell up, itch a lot, and after a week bruise darkly. The first bites I got over a month ago are still not completely faded.
I have trouble sleeping at night because of it, and though my boyfriend and I cleaned and searched our entire bedroom for any place these bugs could be living, we found none. We taped up the bed's box frame where some corners of fabric were torn and covered the bed's legs in duct tape, hoping to catch anything that might try to run up them. So far nothing, though. | Anyone have any tips for keeping basement-type bugs (silverfish, spiders, etc.) away? Please, Reddit, help me sleep at night again!! |
t3_45e2k2 | relationships | My boyfriend is leaving the country for some time. I'm not sure how to deal. Need advice. | Sooooooooo this is pretty uncomfortable for me as I consider myself a pretty rational and realistic person. However, there is love involved here and it's really screwing with my decision making around this.
Situation: I have been dating my Boyfriend for around 2 months. Friends for about 6 months previously. We have become increasingly Co dependant over this time and he stays at mine almost every night. I have to admit I love this person. I have not felt like this before and I really see a future with him and he with me (he has explicitly stated this). Neither of us really do the love/relationship thing so this feels very real and obviously different from our other experiences.
Problem: He had already booked an extended overseas trip before we met. It could last anywhere from 2 - 10 months (no return ticket). He was definitely going for the full ten months before he met me now it's a bit up in the air.
Considerations: I am early 20s and he is late 20s. He has this trip planned with one other friend so he is a factor. I can't go with him because I have work commitments.
I want to be rational. I want to say it's too short of a time to commit to him and wait. But I've really caught feels here. It's making me a crazy. Please help! | Boyfriend is leaving the country but I caught feels. Not sure how to deal with this rationally/realistically. |
t3_50a3hv | relationship_advice | Got stood up by ex don't know how to react | So.. my ex girlfriend started going to the same college as me we dated years back and hung out last week. Last week we made out and we're both really into it and she really wanted to see me again. she asked to see me super late one night and I said yes she ended up having to go home not sure what happen she was super bummed though. She asked me if I wanted to hangout on Friday then Friday came and she seemed bummed again and said she totally forgot and was super sorry and asked me to hang on Saturday. I said yes then Saturday came I texted her that I could probably hang earlier in the night rather than later and she never ever responded to me... it's Tuesday now and that happened Saturday. No word from her and she does have depression and is very emotionally something could be going on or she could have moved on, but it's unlike her to completely ignore me we are good friends. I never texted her after my text on Saturday what should I do? | X GF goes to same college hooked up once last week. She texted me to hang a lot of times but she never came through and I texted her to hang Saturday which she agreed too and she never responded. |
t3_1hqr2t | self | I have a hatred for age restrictions even though I'm of age to do most things. | As the title says, I think most age limits are rather arbitrary and exist out of an unfounded overprotection of the youth. The only age restriction that still applies to me is the drinking age of 21.
I've been in college for a year, and I was surprised to see that according to an internal anonymous survey, the overwhelming majority of incoming underage freshmen have consumed alcohol without parental consent at some point in their lives. I'm not so naive to think that nobody drinks underage, but I didn't expect to see roughly 85% of students having broken the law.
This got me thinking that the age limit for drinking, and most age limits in general rarely ever get followed. Take M rated games (it's not a law, but the idea is the same) for example. Everyone an their dog, including me, played violent games when they were 10-13, and I like to think most of us turned out fine. Same thing goes with porn. I wouldn't be surprised if most parents in America are unknowingly guilty of providing minors with pornography because their teenage children lied about their ages on the Internet.
The point is, age limits are broken all the time and yet life goes on. These laws are remnants of an outdated quixotic ideal that anyone under the magic age of 18 are extremely vulnerable little angels who will show the utmost respect for these arbitrary restrictions by the simple fact they are the law. | Age limits don't do shit, and it's not the end of the world if a 16 year old has a beer once in a blue moon. |
t3_10a429 | AskReddit | I could use some advice on employee harassment. How would you handle a hateful text? | Today I was looking for a coworker to cover a shift for me at the cafe I work at on my campus. I fell ill in the afternoon and I figured that customers would not appreciate me sneezing and coughing into their food or around it for that matter. All of the girls, who I consider friends as well, said they were unavailable (Can't blame them. It is a Friday night).
The very last person I tried was a girl I had never met before. I explained the situation and when the shift would be, 6 to 9, a closing shift. Six o'clock rolled around and still no response for her, so I had to take the shift. Worry not, it wasn't really busy and when I wasn't making drinks or food I was away from it all. The store where the cafe is closed at 8 o'clock and my boss let me leave early so I could get to bed, because she's a great boss.
I get home and check my phone for messages. At 8 I received a text message, a voicemail, and 8 missed calls from this girl. She was screaming over the voice mail and I couldn't understand her at all. I texted her back and said, "Hey I just took the shift, no worries. Thanks for responding." Even though she responded right at the end of the shift. She then said, "did you ever think to i dont know ask another girl". Clearly I could tell she was upset. I calmly responded "I asked everyone else. You were the last person I asked. Sorry if it bothered you. Won't happen again."
Her response: "Well no now I'm pissed your calling me lazy your just a stupid nasty bitch who needs a new haircut."
Now, had we ever met face to face I might see her side of the argument. But this is the first conversation I've ever had with this girl. And, yeah I need a haircut, but that's really none of her business.
So, should I show the texts to management? I don't really want her to get away with calling me these things on unreasonable grounds. | A girl I work with but have never met before called me a stupid nasty bitch and I think I should report it to my manager. Would that make me a nark? |
t3_2g4qih | Advice | What are some work at home jobs where I could actually make decent money as an actual employee? I need help | So, I'm 22 and slowly trying to get through school. I take all of my classes online and am chronically ill (CFS, an autoimmune disease, severe back problems due to a tumor I had on my spine when I was 14). I can't stand for long periods, and my immune system doesn't really work very well. I'm on social security but I'm trying to get off of it. I want to support myself and I receive enough social security to pay my bills but not enough for groceries or to save any money. I really want to create a savings. I have a small amount but not much. I've been selling on ebay and that has been helping and helps me work within my limitations but it's not enough. I did some other IC jobs for a while like driving for Uber and doing tasks for taskrabbit, but I found them to be dangerous and largely scams. I made very little money, if anything I lost some. That said, I am looking for some sort of transcription or customer service work where I would be an actual employee. I can't do anymore IC work, it is too risky. If I could even make 11 or 12$ an hour, I would be happy. But I probably can't afford to make less than that. Can anyone help? Please be kind reddit. | I'm chronically ill but I'm trying to work and support myself. Need legitimate work at home jobs that are NOT independent contracting positions. |
t3_4vy248 | relationships | Girl [23F] I've [20M] been talking to at work was fired today | I've been working with this girl for 8 months and we recently started talking about a month ago. Today she told me she was fired over something that she shouldn't have been fired for. I'm really bummed that I won't be working with her anymore, she seriously made work 10x more bearable. The positive thing about the situation is that I was skeptical about dating a coworker because if the relationship didn't workout, I'd be stuck working with her and it would probably be very awkward. We're planning to hang out next week, and I still am not sure if she has mutual feelings toward me, but I guess I'll find out next week. I'm still really down that I won't be seeing her at work anymore and just using this post to vent. I'd appreciate any advice/input! | girl I've had a thing for was fired today, and I'm planning on hanging out with her next week. I am still not sure if she has mutual feelings. |
t3_2zi6xk | relationship_advice | I am a (22F), with my bf's mom (50somethingF), is "killing with kindness" a mature way to behave or is it just as passive-aggressive and immature as being snide? | Hey. So, my bf's mom (I will henceforth refer to her as my MIL because it's easier to type and you get it) is a piece of work. However, much of what she does/says to me and my bf is plausibly deniable, so even though we KNOW that she is being snide/mean/intentionally making things difficult, it would be very hard to prove it. For example, she's always making little comments, making requests at deliberately awkward times, leaving things for my bf to do, intentionally setting him/us up for failure etc etc.
As MIL is this way with her own kids and husband, I now doubt that she acts this way because she personally dislikes me, more that she does it because that's the way she is. It's petty, passive aggressive and immature, but I don't want to sink to her level even though it upsets me.
My question is, is deliberately being so nice to her (not saccharine or way OTT nice, but just turning a blind eye to her shenanigans and breezing past any suspect behaviour with idle chat or friendly comments) that she can't stand the fucking sight of me because she's so desperate to say something bad but can't because it'll make her look like a bitch, immature? So far it's the only way I've been able to cope with her without feeling upset by her comments and I have thought with glee of all the nice things I could do for her that would totally invalidate anything nasty that she could say about me. | is it immature to respond to my MIL being horrible to/disliking you by being really really sweet and kind to them back? |
t3_1au0jk | relationships | An acquaintance (21F) asked me (19M) out today, however I'm already happily in a relationship with someone (20F). | I've (19M) been with my girlfriend (20F) for about 6 months or so, and we're both very happy with the relationship. We rarely fight and make each others lives better and make each other better people in general (cheesy, I know).
After one of my classes today, an acquaintance (21F) who I've known for a little under a year surprised me a bit and asked if it would be weird if she gave me her number and maybe we could grab a drink sometime. I was caught of guard, so I obliged and put her number in my phone. She told me to call her sometime as she left.
While I definitely do not want to ruin my relationship, I would still like to become friends with this girl as she seems like a pretty cool person. I'm just wondering how I should handle this situation so as not to upset either party. | Was asked out by someone who I'd like to be friends with, but do not want to ruin my already existing relationship with a great girl. How do? |
t3_3poaai | relationships | I [18M] have just started university. There's a girl [18F] I like but I am completely hopeless when it comes to romance/dating/relationships. | So basically, I went to a boys school since I was 10 years old and had very few encounters with the opposite sex for the entire 8 years I was there. This has led to some comments from friends saying that I am kind of awkward around girls.
Anyway, about a month ago I started university and so far I'm really enjoying it. I've been to loads of events and I'd like to think I'm becoming more confident - definitely talking to a lot more people than I used to, and getting used to naturally talking to girls.
There's this girl on my course who I met on the first day I started. She's really friendly and we've been hanging out a lot. We don't live near each other, so it's mainly during lectures and time spent in the laboratories. For the past 2 weeks we've spent a lot of time working together on assignments and going to get lunch together. She also comes to sit by me in lectures if there is room. She apparently went to a girls school so I don't know if that means she is the reverse of me :P Another aside, my course has a 9:1 boys:girls split.
Today, I was sitting in the laboratory and she came over to me and asked if I could come and sit with her. I thought that was nice but I don't know if it's a sign of anything.
I really like her - she is friendly and we have a lot of interests in common. That being said, I've never even been in a relationship. Never kissed a girl, been out with any girl, been on a date, even held a lengthy conversation with a girl until about a month ago.
I feel kind of oblivious as to what to do. Do I give it more time? Am I rushing things? Should I just spend more time with her first? I certainly like her but I don't know if she likes me. What's the next step?
Sorry for some many questions I am literally so dumb when it comes to things like this. Any help/comments would be appreciated. If you need more info, please ask and I will try to provide. | COMPLETELY inexperienced 18M just started uni. Met a really nice girl; not sure what the next step is. |
t3_218elx | legaladvice | [GA]Seeking advice/help with disability claim | So I really need to get this out there with someone. Anyone I can talk too. Basically I have Blount's disease, Morbidly obese with a case of arthritis in my knees as well. Ive had 2 surgeries as a kid. 1 for rods in both knees and 1 for staples in both knees. Ive been denied a couple of times and this is my first time appealing the decision. Ive seen an orthopedic that took 1 look at my x rays and was surprised that no one believes my claims. He knows Im in obvious pain and I clearly can not work. My lawyer's assistant told me that his thoughts help but can not guarantee me the case. I want more evidence to take to court which is in 3-6 months but I have no idea what to do. I would love to talk to my lawyer about this but every time an appointment is made I go and she is never there. I havent met her once. So im looking for any advice here. | want more evidence but have no idea what to do. My lawyer is always too busy and never shows to appointments. any help is appreciated. |
t3_2q95km | relationships | I [M 20] Hooked up with my crush/ex now FWB [F 18] Feel confused | Back Story: We both grew up together she went to my church. Was my first "Girlfriend" I say this in quotes because we literally did nothing. I think I was like 14 or 15. However after a few weeks of this I found out from her twin that she was making out with another guy at a football game. So I ended it. Her and I have been friends and talked on and off since than and I have always been crushing on her cause she gorgeous.
Now: Neither of us are still religious at all. But I still go to church when I am back from school to see her and other friends. Anyways during church we went to grab some food and talking. She told me she was interested in a TA who was 25. We were just sitting and talking and she knew I was a virgin but it came about again and said something along the lines of we should do something about that and well we did; from a as stated by both of us strictly FWB because frankly I do not know if I can trust her and she stated she was interested in someone else though they had not done anything.
Tonight we went out to dinner had sex again and she told me that someone from the school had told on her and the TA and said that they had had sex (which she assured me they did not (?)) and that they were no longer doing anything.
My issue is that I think that Im starting to develop feelings for her but im not sure if i should say anything or if i should trust her.
She is a very fickle person. Should I say or do anything? Just let it ride out as is? Is it just me or does the whole TA story sound fishy as fuck I mean there has been no school between sunday and today... | Hooked up with a chrush/ex/friend who cheated when we were much younger have always had some feelings not sure if I should do anything/if I should trust her. |
t3_11nq2n | relationships | How can I apologize to my new boyfriend? [20F, 29M] | I [20F] was originally rejected by this guy [29M].We'd known each other for about 4 months and spent lots of time together and I really liked him. I had asked him out while he was planning a cross-country move, and he said that the timing was bad and he didn't want to commit to anything. I took this as he wasn't interested, and at the time, he wasn't. He had other priorities so I dropped the relationship talk.
When he decided he wanted to date me after he left, I acted really petty. My feelings were hurt after he turned me down and I felt insecure. I asked him if I could think it over (It's a long distance relationship that would require a lot of money and time) and I basically grilled him for a week to make sure he was serious and took a long time getting back to him with a firm answer.
When I said yes he seemed really unenthused about it. He doesn't want to talk about being with me, and he doesn't seem excited about it. I tried apologizing for my behavior and expressing how happy I am, but he just gives me short, unemotional replies. He still texts me every day to chat, but doesn't want to discuss us, where as I'm so happy.
I know I behaved immaturely, and I feel really bad about it. I took his rejection really personally and I shouldn't have, and I punished him for making the right decision. I'm crazy about him and I'm scared I changed his feelings towards me. Should I back off or try and apologize again? | I acted incredibly immaturely when my boyfriend (who had previously rejected me) asked me out, even though I wanted to be with him. I'm scared I alienated him. How do I apologize? |
t3_mdf6z | GetMotivated | Need some life advice. | I'm a 20 year old guy who just moved 4 hours from his home for college. The college I go to is really small, pretty much just one building. I thought it would be a good school because they specialize in medicine and pharmacy, and I'm interested in a medical profession. I've been really bummed out this semester though. I've been here for 2 and a half months and haven't made a single friend at my school. I live off campus with one of my best friends from high school, about a 15 minute walk from my school. I'm in class 12 hours a week, and when I'm done with class I just go home and dick around playing video games and surfing the internet.
What can I do to be more productive with my life? How can I go about making friends? My school is really small, has no sports teams, and the clubs are really lame. There's no parties on campus. I'm gonna be in this city for 6 years at this school and I really want to make the best of it. Would getting a job help? If so, what's a job I could get that would be good for making friends?
Another big issue is that I've never been in a relationship or had sex before. I have no idea how to go about attracting girls. I'm a decent looking guy, I dress pretty good, shave, shower, all that. I guess I'm just really shy and don't have a lot of confidence. How can I improve this?
Sorry for all the random thoughts, didn't really know how to organize them. AMA if you need to. Thanks for reading. | Need motivation to stop playing video games/spending time on the computer so I can make friends and party and fuck girls. |
t3_mi0jy | cats | Help! My Cat has taken to eating weird things :S | I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub-reddit for this question/plea for help. If anyone could suggest where it would better belong I can x-post there! Thanks!
My cat is about 1.5 years old (rescue) and has been deemed other wise in good health by our vet. She has all of her shots, eats well(usually just over 1 dish of food a day, recently nearing 2), has been gaining some "winter weight" recently, but has become very clingy/needy recently. She has not yet been "fixed" but will be soon and is 100% indoor house cat. (she went through heat 3 weeks ago for the first time so it is not that)
Our issue is that for the past two weeks she has been consuming non-editable items, often destroying things to eat them. (PC chairs, wall paper, garbage bags, any plastic bag, sofa, etc.) It's mostly plastic and foam with a bit of paper thrown in. When she eats these things she almost immediately vomits, I have cleaned up 6~8 piles today alone.
Her food has not changed recently, she has access to her food all day and fresh water throughout the day as well. She has always had a thing for chewing on plastic, but in the past few weeks it's become worse. This combined with the fact she will not leave me alone means I'm at my wits end. We (the cat and I) have never really gotten a long well but my BF has been traveling slightly more than normal and she has defaulted on me. I have found if I put a few small dabs of vic's vapor rub on my PC chair or sofa she will leave them alone for most of the day, but now the whole house smells...
Could this all just be stress related due to her person of choice traveling? Is there anything that I can do to stop this behavior? Should I change her food (she has been on it for over 6 months and done well)? | My cat is eating my chairs/sofa/wallpaper/plastic. It's getting expensive to replace damaged items and gross to clean up so much puke. What can I do? |
t3_rbcw2 | AskReddit | I got intentionally run off the highway, is there any legal action I can take? | Yesterday I was involved in a bit of a road rage spat on the highway. Someone was tailgating me and wouldn't get off my tail even though I brake checked them quite a few times. They finally zoomed around me and made some gesture (I couldn't quite see it, I assumed it wasn't a nice one) so me, being young and stupid, decided it would be a good idea to give him the finger. He then cuts me off and slams on his breaks, almost causing an accident, so I slam on my breaks and move over a lane and start going back up to my preferred speed, hoping to just get away from this douche. As I am next to him, he throws his van over into my lane. Luckily I saw it out of the corner of my eye and have good reflexes and was able to avoid him, but I had to go completely off the highway in order to not get hit.
I got his license plate number and the name and number of his construction company off the van, unfortunately the number goes to his cell phone. I called and tried to talk to him calmly and politely, as I realized I was most likely dealing with a lunatic and told him he almost just killed me and my girlfriend and he said "I think it's an appropriate response for a couple idiots flicking me off." Is there any legal action I can take? This guy almost killed us, we were going 70-75mph and I barely avoided the accident. | Some douche almost killed me and my girlfriend. I got his license plate number and telephone number but there is no visible damage to my car. What can I do? |
t3_o9gbe | Parenting | How to address daycare forgetting our requests? | In an effort to limit our 2 year old son's sugar intake, we've requested his daycare to not give him any juice or sweets – all was good until Friday when we went to pick him up….he had a sucker in his mouth. My wife and I were both shocked, but did not say anything since we were on our way out of town and wanted to get out of there.
So – I've been elected to address this situation when I pick him up today.
Two things concern me: First – although he was in his secure seat, I was not comfortable with him having a stick-based sucker in his mouth (choking concerns). And Second, if they're giving him a sucker at the END of the day – knowing full well that we'll be picking him up soon – what else have they given him during the day with little chance we'll pop in?
Has anyone experienced anything similar? I'm pretty civil and tactful with addressing these types of situations, so I'm trying to come up with a good strategy to address this situation – any suggestions are welcome. We really like one of his caregivers and don't want to necessarily get her in trouble (she was in charge when we walked in) | – We requested no sugar. Daycare gave my 2yo a sucker, which is unacceptable. Best way to address? |
t3_4y8fwc | relationships | My [21M] Date [20F] went right on to screwing with some dude | Second date (fourth with a looong break) - we were bowling and like the first one it was pretty fun. We live in different towns and have been snapchatting a lot for quite some time (a year overall, a lot during the last two months).
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During the date, she said she was going out with a girlfriend of hers afterwards and that she'd stay at her friends' place.
Towards the end of the date a guy (I saw the name) called her and they were talking about pre-drinks. I asked whether it was her girlfriend and she said yes.
When we left the bar I had wanted to go for a kiss, but did not as I was upset (not visibly I guess).
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I really like the girl and thought she liked me as well. She's a bit into games, but I don't feel that is something that someone who liked you would do.
We already have plans to go to the cinema this weekend, but I'm not sure whether I should uphold that - I get pretty attached and am afraid of getting hurt over this. I guess I should be more relaxed and maybe just try something easy-going with her, but I'm not sure if I can go through with it.
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Am I overreacting? Is this not a big deal - I mean we're not exclusive, and won't be for the next time due to travel. Was she just going out with a guy-friend (Pretty sure she's not, I know the guy)?
Please help me wrap my mind around this. | My date went right on to screwing with some dude the same day. I felt like she likes me, but am afraid of getting hurt. |
t3_1prth9 | relationship_advice | (20/m) Is my girlfriend (20/f) abusive? | I have only seriously dated 2 girls, one when I was 17 and still in high school, and this one, starting when I was 19 and still going 11 months after meeting her (we had a 1 month breakup period, but we got back together).
I don't believe that anything that my current girlfriend does is intentionally malicious, but I fear that perhaps she is preying on me due to her emotional problems. She takes a lot of heavy-duty psychiatric medications and has a lot of health problems in general, so I'm not sure how stable she is on any given day. Some days, it's perfect, she's all lovey-dovey, etc. But about once a month (not linked to her cycle), she finds something to get in an argument with me about. It wasn't like this before we broke up and got back together.
She wanted to diagnose me with mental disorders and go to my psychiatrist appointments with me to tell him "the truth" at one point in time. She also admitted to having sex with another female while on ketamine while we were broken up (she told me right after we were done having sex and we were drunk). She refuses to hang out with my friends because she knows that all of them think we're a bad fit and that hurts her - she has class with one of them (we are community college students) and sometimes leaves early, claiming that him being there made it hard for her to concentrate.
And here's the big one: she insists that after we're done with our associate's degrees, we move in together and go to a 4 year institution together. I'm not sure if I can do this just yet, but she also says she wants to marry me and have kids together. She takes pregnancy tests multiple times a month if she misses her period and got angry with me when I suggested that perhaps she was looking to get pregnant...like REALLY upset, threatening to break up with me over it. | I love my girlfriend, I don't think she's intentionally malicious, but she exhibits strange behaviors and I feel trapped sometimes. The relationship is enjoyable most days, but some days it really isn't. Is she abusive? |
t3_1ytdd5 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [23 F] of 2 Years, when we fight, I lose my temper and yell sometimes uncontrollably. How can I control this? | My girlfriend and I fight like every other couple. It's not too frequent, and we don't want to break up.
But this past weekend we had a big, big fight. I used to have quite the temper when I was a kid (10-15 years old) but got it under control and haven't had any outbursts since then.
In our recent fights,however, and especially the one this weekend, I have been getting so mad that I have reverted back to my 15 year old self and yell, very loudly, without listening to anything she has to say.
She says it's verbally abusive. I have tried working on it--we had a fight about two months ago and I felt like I was going to start shouting and I took a step back from the situation, everything was fine--but this past weekend was a step in the wrong direction.
How can I work on controlling this anger? Why is this behavior, that has been so underwraps for years, coming back? How can I fight more constructively? | I've been losing my temper recently, like when I was a teenager. How can I control my anger when me and my girlfriend fight? |
t3_2qr50n | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 2 years, her mother is latched on to her | So being with my girlfriend for over 2 years I am trying to finish up my Bachelor's in the field I am already in (I am a lab tech that doesn't make much at all) with 1 or 2 years to go. We both live with our parents but my girlfriend gets social security disability (SSI) and her mom doesn't get any income. My girlfriend has had severe mental illness in the past and is trying to get a decent job now to get off her SSI.
Her though mom is fighting hard to get SSI for herself. She said it could take them 6 months to years, if they don't win. She has ptsd from abuse, bipolar disorder, and she claims to have physical pain in her joints which I'm unsure about. She takes medicine for this stuff but claims she can't get a job because of her issues and that her ex husband ruined her life. She seems pretty normal when you talk to her.
What she does day to day is just get on the internet, watch tv, smoke, and drinks sometimes during the week. She barely helps my girlfriend with cleaning the apartment too. I have tried to get my girlfriend to motivate her to go to the gym, dog park, out to eat, hikes, and we get nothing. I even have invited her to family parties to meet other people and she doesn't come.
So here I am wondering whether her mom is just a lazy ass or she really needs the disability checks. I know we won't be able to move out while her mom has no source of income. I just hate that she is just waiting for a disability check while doing nothing to build her skills.
I've talked to my girlfriend before and she believes her mom needs to be on it and has gotten upset with me. | Wondering if girlfriends mom (ptsd, bipolar, joint pain) really needs her disability or should try to build her skills and get a job. Girlfriend is their sole income for their apartment. |
t3_4dkw7j | books | HELP! I just finished The Brothers Karamazov but don't grasp why it is considered a great novel | I spent the last three weeks reading The Brothers Karmazov. My sole impressions are that I found it funny and I enjoyed the plot, but that the author could have wrote in 300 pages what took him 800; notably, the dialogue between the characters was overwhelming and the side stories were completely unnecessary. But I read that this was supposed to be one of the greatest books ever written?
I'm left thinking that either I'm too stupid to understand and appreciate the philosophical underpinnings, or that this book is really a 6/10 at best.
I'm now spending some time reading through other people's interpretations of the book. They point to dialogue like the Inquisitor's Speech (or w/e) as having some profound philosophical meaning. While I found this particular dialogue riveting, unlike the majority of the interminable dialogue, I wouldn't say it expanded my mind in anyway. According to some of the interpretations I read, this was supposed to be a defense of atheism, using the suffering of man as evidence. Again, perhaps I'm too stupid to see it, but I never once thought of this and just simply found it highly interesting.
Examples of interminable dialogue that I thought was completely uncessary were Zosimmas (sp) speach on religion and life and Aloysha (sp) speech on religion and life (albeit, I am religious, so perhaps this wasn't a big deal to me as it would be a secular person). These are the only two off the top of my head that I can think of, but I'm certain there are many more.
I also don't get any of the side stories. Why did the author bother putting in all the chapters regarding Aloysha and the children? There were a few others that I thought of but cannot recall now. | Would /r/books please tell me why this book I just finished is so great and shame me for having such a low IQ? |
t3_4g6kxg | relationships | I(26F) just discovered I'm pregnant by my ex (28M) situationship. He's not responding to my texts or calls | Been dating a guy for a year. We did gf/Bf everything but never made it official. We've met each other's friends, families, etc. In the past month he has been pulling away. Seeing each other less and talking less.
I travel 100% for my job but last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago today & we had very minimal contact this week.
My period was late so I took a pregnancy test today. 2 test later & they are both positive. I called & left a voicemail saying to call me. Called again 2 hours later, no answer so I text 'call me.' I went by his house. His car was there. I rang the door & no answer. His car looked like it had been sitting a day or so.
What do I do? | Just as soon as situationship was ending, I find out I'm pregnant. Guy won't respond to my attempts to contact |
t3_1zxr2g | relationships | Me M/28, Them M/22 (going on 15) How Can I Survive The Roommate From Hell? | X-Post From /r/AskReddit
I made the horrendous mistake of letting someone stay in my house (Started Sept '13) that I can no longer stand the sight of. It was done out of pity and they seemed like a good person at the time.
I can't evict them without a 30 day notice and besides, their lease is up in 2.5 months.
My home pulses with a sick energy when said person is in the vicinity. I hate that I have to hide in my own house.
Worse yet, I work from home so I am just bathed in this reminder of their foul presence all day long.
/r/relationships, I implore you, how can I survive the next two months? I am trying my very best not to do anything emotion based that will exacerbate an already tense and draining situation (seeking legitimate, creative suggestions) | Roommate that was taken in 6 months ago is a drain on my sanity. Need advice on how to survive the next 2.5 months until they leave |
t3_2qe24m | tifu | TIFU by wrecking Christmas dinner | It's another typical Christmas day with myself, parents and grandparents, my grandad and dad are in the kitchen sorting out the final trimmings for the dinner, my mum asks me to help set the table up so I helped by going into the kitchen and getting the condiments and seasoning out of the cupboard above the kitchen work surface.
Anyway it's ready! we are all sitting around the table with all the food and everyone begins pouring gravy over their food (except me because I don't like it) this is when the onset of the fuck up begins, my nan is sitting opposite me and I see her start gasping for breath and she says something along the lines of "Bloody hell this food is hot". Unfortunately by now everyone has taken a bite of their gravy swamped Christmas dinner mixed with "professional he who dares burns" hot pepper sauce (Nothing like Tabasco it really does burn your mouth out), my grandad was literally sweating from it, and everyone didn't look impressed!
We wonder out to the kitchen to try and work out what has happened and we just see a crap ton of this sauce dripping from the cupboard above the work surface, turns out my dad must not have put the lid back on properly last time he used it (No one else would use that crap) and I must have knocked it over getting stuff out of the cupboard, and by some unfortunate luck it has ended up dripping down into the gravy my grandad was making.
Suffice to say my dad was the only other one to finish Christmas dinner today and everyone else binned their food because the sauce is just far too hot. And that people, is how myself with the help of my dad and some rather shit luck managed to fuck up Christmas dinner. | unfortunate sequence of events led to hot sauce dripping in to the gravy which everyone swamped their Christmas dinner in, ruined Christmas dinner. |
t3_1ysomk | relationships | 25/M cheated on 20/F - finds out later, will it matter? Even with a baby in the mix, is it more excused? | Would it matter to you if someone waited until you were a year in a relationship to tell you that your current boyfriend cheated on you in the beginning of your relationship (the first time a week into it, then the 2nd period of time a couple months into it)? Would it make a different whether you stayed/leave/worked it out, etc.
Add onto the fact, you became pregnant a couple months into this relationship, and your baby is going to be here any day now. Would that change things? I'm sure it would, but I also know regardless of the fact, cheating is cheating. | Cheating is cheating, nonetheless. Does it matter when you discover the cheating vs how long you've been in a relationship? And if a child is involved, is it less excused? |
t3_2dftxd | relationships | I [20 M] cheated on my gf [23F] 3 years, How do I tell her? | So I got drunk yesterday and cheated for the first time in my life. I slept with another man and now I feel like shit about it. My gf has been out of town for months and is coming back to town in a couple weeks.
Apparently testing for all of the diseases at planned parenthood is optimal after 3-4 weeks. So naturally I can't sleep with my gf until I get tested which means I need to tell her.
I have already broken up with her once a year ago and went out and had sex with people for a few months before eventually getting back together with her and I feel like this is going to hurt her more. I want to tell her over the phone today (as she is still out of town) with the least amount of damage to her or our relationship. | cheated on my long time gf while she was away and I need to tell her so I don't put her at risk for std's given the testing window |
t3_2xfjg4 | relationships | 32F single and trying to date, but not sure how men view me/always in friend zone? | General dating advice-I'm 32F who is working through some personal issues and wanting to get into the dating scene where I live. I've always gotten along well with men yet not sure if I am just very oblivious to flirting, body language, signals or what--boyfriends have been very few in my life. I've got a great job, friends, hobbies, interests, yet dating has been a huge flop in my life.
Questions for men: what are some do's and don'ts to let men know you want to be more than friends? It's been a mystery and a bit alienating my entire life of why I haven't been asked out more or been pursued. Dating is a two way street, I get that. I'm a child of a traumatic childhood and bringing someone home just wasn't possible. Can explain more if requested. I'm hesitant to put myself out there and let guys know how I feel because of my past and not sure if I am even desirable or dateable. Any advice from men or women? I was living in a miserable fog in high school and expected to find love in a frat house in college--life doesn't always turn out how you expect. | Need help understanding how to get out of the friendzone at 32 as I am very unexperienced in dating and not sure how read signals, body language or flirting. |
t3_4haspv | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [23M] of about a month, I have mental issues and I'm scared he will tire of them | Hi! So I've recently reconnected with my bf who I used to go to school with. He's super cool and great. The issue is, I have a mental illness that was controlled on a medication but now isn't. The first week of us dating I had a seratonin overdose and he had to take me to the ER. I was hallucinating and shaking but he played it cool and everything. After that I went through the worst of my withdrawal, screaming and crying for no reason, for about two weeks. He officially asked my to be his gf in this time.
I'm still unmedicated at the moment and am having some mood instability still, my dr wants to wait a while before I try a different med to make sure it doesn't overwhelm my delicate mind at the moment. I've been having random mood swings still and I'm scared that they will be a permanent affect from my OD thingy. I've never had mood swings or random rage before the OD and I don't know how to deal with it yet.
He's been unbelievably nice and understanding but I know it will get annoying and take a huge toll on him. Plus he worries. I feel really worthless alot (I had to quit school and barely leave my house) and I know that wears on him. Even though we knew each other back in high school doesn't mean he knows what he's getting into or the tolls it will take. I don't want him to feel obligated to take care of me or continue to babysit me. And I REALLY don't want him to leave me just because of this giant incident.
Also he has shown no indication of wanting to break up, I'm just dealing with alot.
Also! What I refer to as my OD thingy is medically called seratonin syndrome. | Had a seratonin OD on meds, BF babysat me, I'm still unmedicated for now, don't wanna fuck shit up with him. Yay -.- |
t3_46xi4n | relationships | Can I [26F] break up with my boyfriend [25M] of 1 year through a phone call? Reason inside | As title says, we have been together a year now. It's a terrible, toxic relationship. I love him, but he has a number of emotional issues which put incredible pressure on me. He makes me feel responsible for regulating his emotions. If I don't "help" him by holding him and telling him everything is okay, he will sit on the floor and scream and cry and yell horrible things at me. Other times he is lovely, but I can't take it anymore. Over the last 2 months I have tried to leave at least 8 times, but he cries and screams until I give up and comfort him and agree to stay. My life feels hopeless and pointless and I want to take back control. In this situation, can I break up over the phone? And then block his number? I know he will call me 30+ times repeatedly if I don't block it. He uses every imaginable manipulation to get me to stay. I feel trapped and sad. | Can I break up with my emotionally dependant boyfriend through a phone call? Freaks out and screams when I try in person |
t3_46vd2f | tifu | TIFU by telling my friend he passed his exams when he didn't.. | Didn't happen today. Happened this past week.
Ok, so our penultimate sem results were out a few days back and most of my friends cleared it. A friend of mine who wasn't in college that day asked me to check his result. His seat no. was XXXXX96, but me being the child that I was read it as XXXXX69. I sniggered over it and called him up to tell him that he passed with good marks. He wasn't to sure with the result as he was sure of flunking in atleast 1 subject. He asked me to cross check, but me being the lazy arse who didn't want to walk all the way to the exam cell convinced him that he had cleared for sure.
His joy knew no bounds. This guy was on the top of the world. And also got bullied into treating us to a couple of drinks. We raked in a bill of 7000 Rs. Which he paid. Which is huge for an average Indian student.
Well the next day in college I find him standing in front of the board that displays the results, crying and steaming with anger. When he asked me to show him where I had seen his cleared result, I pointed out to the wrong seat number. He started hopelessly laughing. Reddit,that's when I knew I'd done fucked up. He chased me around the campus for a cool 30 mins. I did text him and apologised. I also offered to pay for the previous day's bill too. He won't reply. | Told my friend he cleared his penultimate sem of engineering when he didn't and bullied him into treating the mates to drinks worth 7k rupees. |
t3_3x9ue0 | relationships | My[17F] friend's[17F] Christmas gift... | I've always been incredibly wary of my friendships - one foot out of the door, to speak. I have poor boundaries and find it very hard to assert myself. I could give you my life story, but that's not really relevant. My point is, said friend, lets call her Bianca, is someone over the 7 years I've known her I've never been sure to keep a distance from. She's a good friend in many ways, but I've always felt that she had the tendency to be a bit self-centered.
*The situation*
Bianca and I were talking about what I wanted for Christmas .From her. She asked me if I was into candles and stuff like that. I told her that yes I did like candles but would prefer not to get them as a gift as it would be unlikely i'd use them at the moment. I told her that I'd prefer to get a book and proceeded to write down a list (maybe 7 or so) of books I'd like. They were a mix of popular books and slightly obscure ones but not impossible to find nor expensive.
So anyway, a week later and she gives me my gift. It's not a book, (she tells me this upon receiving) and it's a... set of candles. the receipt was in there and it actually cost more to buy the candles than any of the books, so it definitely wasn't a money issue. I also knew where she went shopping as there is only two locations to findthat specific candle set and in both locations there are at least two massive bookstores. Hell, the candle shop nearest to her had a bookstore 25m in front of it.
so she wasn't constrained by time, money or struggling for ideas... she just didn't care.
On the flipside, I took great care over getting her stuff that was what she wanted or would appreciate -- and she has. She's worn the necklace I got her two days straight.
should I tell her how I feel about the gift? Or should I just suck it up? Am I overblowing the significance of her gift? | Friend got me a gift I specifically didn't want, I have a poor sense of boundaries/self-respect so have no idea if it was a fuck up or another confirmation to stay distant from her. |
t3_31ueah | relationships | My partner [26/M] is a kiwi, I [21/F] am a canadian, I have been in NZ for year, we met 9 months ago and now are moving back to Canada, we want to make the transition successful (financially/emotionally) any advice? | So my so and I have been dating 9 months, I have been living in NZ for year. I am originally from Canada. He is a New Zealander, we met fell in love blah, blah.
I have to go back to Canada because my working holiday visa is expired. We talked about it and decided to move to Canada together. We're saving up, Tom (fake name of course) has applied for his Working Holiday visa etc. Essentially we're getting ready.
He has never lived with a previous SO before, I have. He has never lived out of his own country, I have. Since moving countries is a pretty big thing, and moving in with someone to boot. I want things to go as smoothly as possible (I know there will be bumps) and I want to be there for him to support the inevitable culture shock that I experienced. I was just wondering if any one has any financial/relationship advice about anything related to the situation! | My NZ S0 [26/M], and I [21/F] (canadian) are moving back from NZ to my own country and want financial/emotional advice for the transition to go as smoothly as possible. |
t3_2fnsrj | askwomenadvice | Coworker (M,28) said something inappropriate and made me (F,27) uncomfortable. Plans to hang out tomorrow. How do I best handle this? | I have a coworker that I've developed a friendship with over the past 2 months and we go out occasionally. There's no romantic component as we have conflicting gender preferences, so that's not a part of the problem. He's a big fan of making inappropriate comments and jokes and in the interest of not starting a fight with someone I see every day, I've let most of them slide. However, yesterday he made a comment that instantly made me incredibly uncomfortable and I'd like to call off our plans tomorrow and cool our friendship a bit with minimal drama. He's always insecure about the status of our friendship and asks me if I hate him multiple times a day, and since I'm so used to reassuring him, I reassured him as well yesterday after he made the comment.
For reference, the comment he made (in front of another coworker as well) is that every time he sees me he wants to milk me. Hella gross, and I'm super tired of my large chest being a punchline with him and everyone else. | What would you say to someone (likely via text) the day before plans after you've decided to cancel due to them making you uncomfortable? |
t3_54lan3 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my [27 M] together for 9 mo, and his over-affectionate behavior annoys me. Am I just over the honeymoon phase? | My boyfriend and I met 9 mo ago when I moved to a new city and for the first four months things were amazing. He was sweet, and caring, and quickly became my best friend. We began making plans for weekend getaways, meeting the parents, talking about the future. He had to move away in May for four months for work, but would be returning. So for four months we agreed to do long-distance. I missed him badly for those four months, but also made new friends and reclaimed a lot of the independence I had pre-boyfriend.
We called each other weekly, talked on the phone for hours and got closer than I thought would be possible in those months. He returned from his work assignment last week, and we've been doing a lot together, and I have very much enjoyed his company and finally being together. However, he's been overly-affectionate when we're alone and it's getting annoying. He'll kiss me too much, like his face is in mine all the time, and he's ALWAYS got his hands on me. And he's been saying things that I would consider odd, like "You have such a warm and inviting face". Before he used to tell me I'm cute, funny or sexy, etc now his compliments are creepy. I don't know if it has to do with being away from each other for so long, or if the real him is coming out. Am I just over the lovey-dovey mushy displays of affection during the honeymoon phase and he isn't? Or is this the beginning of the end?
He's totally fine in public, in fact, I have the most fun with him when we are out around town. But behind closed doors I feel suffocated. When I'm relaxing and watching TV that's what I want to do, not have someone's face in mine trying to initiate sex all the time. I probably just need to talk to him and tell him to tone it down, but how's the right way to say "back off" without offending him? Also, I am afraid that by bringing it up he'll think I don't want any affection ever. Any ideas reddit community? | My BF is suffocating me. How do I tell him to tone it down without offending him, or losing him? |
t3_3bntcw | tifu | TIFU by getting the bubble guts on a school band trip | This was about 15 years ago between my Freshman and Sophmore years of high school. Every 4 years our school band took a long bus ride to Florida to dress up in our snazzy outfits and march around the theme parks. I don't know what I had eaten that didn't agree with me along the way, but it decided to show itself in the middle of the night as the bus crept along the road. I was sleeping soundly when all of a sudden my gut was sending that signal that pooping in my pants was imminent. I also know that one of the main rules of riding in a packed charter bus is to never use the toilet for number 2. This wasn't going to wait so I shuffled along to the back of the bus where all the older kids were sitting. I went into the bathroom and as quietly as possible I took care of business. I knew that the cardboard thin door didn't conceal what I had just done and anyone sleeping just outside of it was now awake. What I had hoped was that it didn't stir any of my attractive classmates awake(it did) and that the smell wouldn't linger. I opened the door and dealt with a few stares and went back to my seat thinking that the worst was behind me(it wasn't). Apparently the toilet wasn't functioning properly and it couldn't vent so for the next 3-4 hours, everyone had to smell what I unleashed in that bus toilet. | Pooped in a crowded bus toilet during high school band trip. The smell. Oh god, the smell. |
t3_la60o | AskReddit | When was the best/worst time you fell asleep? I'll start. [First] | ***Disclaimer:*** I'm expecting questions to be asked about my account so here's the background. I have been a lurker on reddit for a long time. I decided to make an account a couple months ago, but I never used it.
During my senior year of high school I took AP U.S. Government and Politics. I often stayed up all night finishing homework (from several classes) that I had procrastinated to the last minute. On one such day, the monotonous lecture on the methodology of how bills are disputed in congress failed to keep me awake. I let my head rest on my arms and I was fast asleep within seconds. I woke up to an empty classroom, even the teacher was gone. I feared that I had slept through the whole school day. To my relief, I heard students walking down the halls, and I rushed to my next class not knowing how long I had been out.
Afterwards, I spoke with some classmates and apparently the teacher walked up to my desk while I was sleeping and dropped a textbook a good 5 feet. I didn't react in the slightest. He finished the lecture and walked out afterwards, leaving me completely confused when I woke up. On the plus side, it was the best nap I had ever experienced in school. | I fell into a deep sleep in AP U.S Gov. The teacher dropped a textbook right in front of me and left after the class ended. I woke up without a clue of what happened. |
t3_1ofzun | offmychest | I(M25), just watched "Friends with Benefits" and I cried. | It makes me feel really strange.. I mean.. It's a girlie movie! I'm secure enough in my masculinity to be able to cry when watching movies, but that's normally like.. Death scenes where the good guy dies in a heroic effort to save.. the world.. I don't fucking know! I fucking loved that movie though! I loved the way the music told me what to feel and the cheesy over the top romantic shit and I loved the fucking stupid pop music at the end of it to show me everything was going to be ok and I cried because I fucking want that shit! Yes.. Just like a fucking girl, I want my love life to be like a movie. I want to be that awesome dude that meets that awesome girl and everything goes to hell, but then some really emotional shit happens and I don't cry, but I get all teary eyed and then I do something awesome and the girl loves me and then.. Things work out.. Gods damn it.. Should probably go buy some fucking tampons or something.. I can't tell a single person on my life about this so here you fucking go, reddit. | I'm a 25 year old dude who cried while watching a rom-com/chick-flick and it feels strange.. |
t3_1a18sy | relationship_advice | I've been in a relationship for Maybe a month now, I want to take it to the next level but have no experience in this at all! 18m dating 19f | I'm 18m she's 19f we've only kissed and not make out type kissing. Idk how to begin making out, yeah I'ma noob. I wanna go past that even but the only thing holding me back is idk what the hell I'm doing and get way to nervous and stuff. Every time I kiss her it's not Long lived at all and idk what to do when she pulls back so fast. I don't think she has had a relationship before either.
Let me add this is the first woman I've kissed and I've never had a gf before. All my friends have gf's and have sex on the regular makes me feel like less of a man to be honest | I've only kissed my gf. Want to make out. Want even more. But I don't know how to go about this |
t3_2k5suk | dating_advice | Not sure if I should play this game or not. Need advice! | Hi /r/dating_advice!
I am lost in the world of dating and not sure what I'm doing. First off I'll say that I am a very straight-forward, to the point kind of gal. I hate playing games and when I'm into someone I show it.
I met this guy almost two months ago. Things were going AMAZING, felt like he's the same way as me and we talked about plans for future. We would talk every day even if we don't see each other. He introduced me to his friends. I'm very happy with everything. This past weekend, even though he was busy at work, we were texting back and forth for hours, until I wanted to confirm plans for Monday night and he remembered to tell me that he's actually not available.
At this point I suddenly realized that every time we see each other it is when I initiate. He will text me every day but actually spending time together? all me. So I told him in a super happy pleasant way to let me know when he does have time to hang out.
And then we went into radio silence. For 3 days, not a word until the night of the 3rd day. Then I got a few messages of small talk, he shared some exciting work news with me, but he stopped responding to me randomly. And today, again. Not a word. What is going on??
Why would a guy go from talking to me every day to barely a word? Is he not into it anymore? I'm just confused here. I know he is very busy and his job is very demanding, but how hard is it to send a message?
My friends say to play the game. Not give in or it will make him think that he doesn't need to put any effort into it. And I freaking hate it. I'm too old for this crap (29yo)...
So, reddit, do I need to keep playing games or should I just be myself and initiate, yet again? What would you do? What do men think is going on in his head? | guy went from talking to me every day for a couple months to near-radio-silence with no apparent reason. Is he really just busy or not into me anymore? |
t3_50w7wo | relationships | How do I (M/20) tell my parents I got engaged to my boyfriend (M/23) and am moving country? | Hi,
I recently finished a year studying abroad in the U.S. (I myself am from the U.K). During my time over there (last September to be exact) I met my now fiancé who I fell deeply in love with and am sure is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. After dating for a few months I was pushed into a corner where I had to tell my mother about the relationship over skype; she did not take the news well at all as she did not know I was into guys. She cried, never spoke to me for a while and ultimately did not understand - she was far from happy for me. Now a year later, I am back home living with my parents, and although now she is more accepting I can tell she is still not fully comfortable. For instance she does not want me telling certain members of my family about my relationship (grandparents etc) and down plays the seriousness of my relationship.
My fiance is visiting in a few weeks for the first time and we want/need to tell my parents about the engagement so that we can start to organise the wedding for summer next year. However, I envisage my mother having a similar reaction to that of when I came out - tears, tantrums and a general feeling of unhappiness. Although I understand that she will be upset I plan to move to the U.S., I am scared she will be unsupportive of the marriage.
My fiance thinks it would be the best move to tell my parents at the same time. However I believe that we should tell my dad a day or so before, as he is much more accepting of our relationship and is also more laid-back and understanding. I think if he already knew about the plans, he would get over the initial shock and be able to better comfort(?) my mother if she were to have a bad reaction - which i'm 99% positive she will at this point.
If anyone has any advice on the situation, or how to go about telling particularly my mother of the news, it would be appreciated. | Unsupportive mother could make living situation difficult after me telling her i'm engaged and moving country. Need advice on how to break the news to her. |
t3_136za8 | dating_advice | Me [20F] not sure if interested in [20M] | This guy has been in to me since High school. He weirded me out then, not in a creepy way, but just in a way that I didn't want to be around him. He has been chasing me ever since, but I have been keeping a little distance. My friends say I can do better and I believed it. He is very, very, very, very odd. But he is the nicest person ever and after three years of keeping up with me, I've started to wonder if maybe I can't do better. I still feel uncomfortable around him, but I don't know if it is because I was trained to think he was a weirdo in high school and the uncomfortableness I feel around him is just remnants of trying not to hang out with losers in high school. Do you think it's worth it to give it a shot even if I still feel a little odd about it? | M20 into be since high school. Always felt a little uncomfortable but not sure if it's because of social stereotypes. Is it worth it to go out with him if I still feel a little odd about him? |
t3_q49sy | AskReddit | What is the most elaborate thing you've ever said in order to avoid getting in any kind of trouble? | Earlier this year my brother and I were leaving a friends house after a night of drinking, it was about 2:30 in the morning we both had a good buzz at this point. When we left I snagged a beer from the fridge, so I could drink it on the road. We were about half way home when I opened the beer and my brother freaked out and pulled over immediately into a dead end street. When we pulled in a sheriff was pulling out, saw us and thought we looked suspicious enough to question. The sheriff pulled around behind us and let us up. We weren't moving we were parked on the side of the street. I stash the beer under my seat and before the sherif gets to our window my brother says "follow my lead" and I managed to drunkenly slur out a response.
The cop gets to the window asks us what our business was pulling down this quiet street at 2:30 in the morning. My brother responds that we were in the middle of a "heavy" conversation and he needed to pull over just to grasp the situation. The cop runs our ID's to see if we have any warrants or anything. He comes back and asks my brother what was so important about our conversation that we needed to pull over and my brother replies to the cop "My brother is coming out of the closet to me right now, it was completely unexpected and I just needed a moment to collect my thoughts".
The look on this cop's face was priceless, we were kind of in the middle of no where, and you could tell he immediately felt uncomfortable, he hands us our ID's and tells my brother that we need to continue this heavy conversation at home, and to get a move on. | Got pulled over, brother got pulled over told the cop I was coming out of the closet, avoided all kinds of tickets/charges/arrests. |
t3_48s4ct | relationships | Is my [21F] boyfriend [28M] hiding me away on social media because he's embarrassed of me or still in love with his lesbian ex [20sF]? | Throwaway because he reddits.
We've been going out for a year and haven't even had a single argument during that time. He makes me so happy and he is everything I want in a man but recently something has been playing on my mind and the more I think about it the more it breaks my heart. He's affectionate but he isn't very big on complimenting me or doing grand gestures which has never been a problem because I assumed it was just who he was.
When we first added each other on Facebook, curiosity got the better of me and I looked back through his old posts. His previous relationship was with a model and I guess I just wanted to see if he was as "shut off" with her as he is with me and what I found made my heart break in two. Every other post was about her, he would leave her little gifts and notes when she was feeling down and he'd post countless pictures of her with one being captioned with "wife".
I immediately started crying because everytime I post on his Facebook I got the impression he didn't want me to and so I stopped. He has a good friendship with his ex because they ended amicably and I know they speak regularly. She is now in a relationship with another girl and I always quite liked her (despite having never met her) until I found those posts.
On top of this, we only ever see each other at the weekends when I go over to his house. He never visits me or makes plans with me during the week despite the fact that we live a 15 minute walk away from each other.
I've been so down about it today I've just stayed in bed and not answered his text.
Am I wrong to compare our relationship with his past relationship? Am I being unfair to assume that I'm just disposable to him when he's so perfect in every other aspect? | Boyfriend used to flaunt his model ex-gf all over his Facebook and was a lot more affectionate with her. Is this a dealbreaker? |
t3_2uolz6 | tifu | TIFU by trying to bribe a kid I'd never met with money for some test answers | Alright, we've been reading this book in class recently. It's boring as shit, and I haven't read any of the assigned chapters. I've managed to duck out and avoid any confrontation with this, except for today when we had a test. I had absolutely no idea what any of the answers were, so my options were limited. I could either fail the test and live through a very embarrassing moment, or try and get some answers out of the guy next to me while no one was looking. Of course, failing the test was not an option. The only problem was I had no idea who he was, or how I could get him to let me browse over his shoulder. Of course, I decided on offering him the only thing I really had on me. Some loose cash.
I tapped his shoulder, and luckily he turned around without shouting "PROFESSOR PROFESSOR OMG I'M BEING DISTURBED" or something unsettling like that. He seemed like he wouldn't mind.
"Hey dude, I need some help with this. Mind letting me look over your shoulder for a sec? I'll give you a couple bucks."
I S2G HE LOOKED LIKE HE HAD JUST SEEN HIS FAMILY KILLED AND BURNED ALIVE
"PROFESSOR! (my name) IS TRYING TO OFFER ME MONEY FOR ANSWERS!"
Of course, the entire room turned to stare at me and my red face. The professor glared at me, and a short time later I was being chewed out and lectured. He also found out I hadn't read anything of course, because things sure weren't bad enough already. | I offered the kid I had never talked to money for some answers on a test, and he ended up being the Butters of the class. |
t3_3wfm22 | tifu | TIFU by cursing in front of my SO's very Catholic mom | So this happened about a year ago. My SO was picking me up at work and we were supposed to head to dinner. So 5pm came, got out of the building, and made my way to his car. I was pretty pissed because of something my boss did. I got in the car and I let out a long sigh before venting to him. I said a lot of things, starting it out with: "My fucking boss is fucking ridiculous, he is just full of bullshit!" Now, it didn't surprise me that my SO didn't say anything as he usually just lets me vent and then he will make his comments later on. So I went on, "who the fuck does he think he is? Just because he's the goddamn boss doesn't mean he's always fucking right!" I went on for a good five minutes, dropping f-bombs all over the place and just letting my anger take over me. When I was done, I looked to my SO and I was surprised he has a funny look in his face, like he wanted to say something but he was so scared. So then I said, "so, where did you want to get dinner?" To which he replied, "we have to drop Mom off at work first...." pointing hesitantly to the back seat of the car. And yup, there she was, sitting there with a horrified look on her face. I was speechless for a few seconds, then I muttered something like, "oh my God. I'm sorry. I was just really pissed off.. it won't happen again". So an awkward half an hour drive ensued, and just about when my SO's mom was getting out of the car, she squeezed my shoulder and said, "I will pray for you."
I cringed a little inside because I wasn't particularly religious but I chose to not say anything. My SO wasn't amused. Keep in mind he was not as crazy religious as his mom but it was still awkward and I guess disrespectful?? Well I guess I'm sorry that i didn't see his mom there, the windows were tinted and I dont usually look at the backseat before I get in the passenger's seat. | vented to my boyfriend about my boss, dropped about a hundred f-bombs, didn't notice his very religious momma was in the backseat |
t3_3afwqt | legaladvice | I'm a US citizen. 3 months after a hospital visit in QC, Canada, I received a bill for $50 threatening to send my case to collection services unless they received the payment by June 11. I got the bill on June 19. What legal actions would be taken against me? | So it's a little bit more complicated than the title suggests:
I broke my leg skiing up near Montreal about 3 months ago and went to a nearby hospital. I paid around $400 for x-rays and put down a $1200 deposit before they treated me for anything. They ended up taking a significant amount of that deposit a couple weeks after the visit, so I assumed there was nothing else to be paid.
This recent bill is telling me that my crutches were apparently unpaid for (this is what I thought the deposit was for) and now I get this letter after the deadline they set that they will forward my account to a collection service with an additional 25% service fee.
The only option they've given me to pay it is a phone number to the hospital which has gotten me nowhere. I know basically no French, so when I've called, I tell them in French that I'm American and don't speak French, asking to speak to someone in English, to which I get transferred. This process is repeated for 20-45 minutes at which point I give up because the phone bill for calling Canada is going up, and no one has given me any useful information.
Based on the fact that nearly all information about myself in the letter I received is spelled incorrectly, I assume that they probably have sent at least one other letter within this 3 month time period and it was just returned to them because of an incorrect address. | Canadian hospital billed me saying they needed a payment by June 11, I got the bill on June 19. The number they gave me to pay the bill has been shown to be useless. I don't really know what to do. |
t3_15lsyk | relationship_advice | Immature Gilrfriend [20M] [18f] | I love my girlfriend, I really do but lately she has been really disrespectful towards me. The other night she promised to call me in the morning and decided to run errands with her mom instead. I don't mind her running errands with her mom it is just that we live almost 2 hours away and it is hard to make time to talk to one another and our phone calls mean a lot to me. She promised to call and I waited all morning for a call that did not come.
Today as she was leaving work, I texted her to tell her to call me about our plans for New Years Eve. I told her it was really important that she responded as soon as possible. She never called but texted me asking what the question was. I told her and she gave me no response. I know she was in a rush to see friends but I told her it was really important to let me know her answer. I told her I needed to know in the next hour otherwise I was going to have to make a decision she may not like. I called her phone about three times in a row and she eventually shut her phone off. I understand what I did was a little pushy but I really needed an answer.
I am not sure if she can act mature. I have always been worried about her immaturity and today did not make things any better. I was just wondering what I should do to just make her act more mature. | Girlfriend breaks promises about calling me, turns off her phone with friends when I call her for a really important question. Need advice on how show her she is being immature. |
t3_lxj6x | AskReddit | Reddit please stop using the straw man fallacy. | Dear reddit stop fucking accusing people in the comments of straw men arguments. It is the quickest way to make the person you are talking with get defensive and personal.
I have seen perfectly reasonable discourse decay into stupid troll shit when one person dismisses the other's argument as a straw man fallacy. So, even if your fellow redditor is using a straw man argument bringing it up is the quickest way to shut down any possibility of civil discussion.
*
First and foremost whether something is a straw man argument is subjective because it has to do with someone twisting your words and original meaning. This is the bloody internet it's practically built on misunderstandings of written word so their arguing against something you don't view as the primary point may be because your point wasn't concise to begin with. It's possible they are a dumbass, but not necessarily true.
*
Second, not all analogous points are straw man arguments. Humans comprehend things by how they relate to what they know. Analogies are great to help someone connect to something they just found. When someone brings up something similar that you don't personally believe applies just let it slide. If someone brings up the number of deaths by dildos in a discussion about gay marriage move on. Does it not belong there, yep, is it a straw man argument, not unless they started arguing against dildos (dildi?) rather than the original discussion marriage. Remember analogies aren't straw men unless they begin to argue specifically about the analogy rather than the original topic.
*
Third and finally saying something is a straw man argument on reddit is often a straw man argument itself. The short and sweet definition is oversimplifying, exaggerating or distorting a argument to refute it more easily. Sidestepping actually responding to a redditor by saying they just built up a straw man is 90% of the time oversimplifying their point as a means to dismiss it. | Saying something is a straw man makes you sound like a douche who heard about it from cracked or psych 101 rather than the well read professor you are trying to project. |
t3_3ip06k | relationships | My [15M] friend [15M] is dating a [12F] year old girl from the other side of the country | My friend and I are both sophomores in high school, I've been friends with him for longer than I can remember. Recently, he's been getting pretty desperate. He's overweight and has a lot of confidence issues due to this.
He has recently (2 months ago) started to date a girl from the actual other side of the U.S. Well, there's a few problems that come with this
* He is 15, she is 12.
* He is constantly on his phone talking to her. He's walked into walls before because he doesn't even look up
* They sext daily and he ditches his friends to go home and sext her
It's pretty gross to me and I know it's really illegal. I'm getting sick of losing him to this fantasy he has. It's not so much the distance that bothers me it's the fact that she is ~1,000 miles away from her and he thinks they are going to last forever. He puts all his time into her and our friend group has barely seen him outside of his house all summer.
I don't know if it's worth trying to stay friends with him as it's getting extremely exhausting begging for him to pay attention to his friends for 30 seconds instead of this girl. | Friend is dating a girl 3 years younger than him, on the other side of the country, spends all his time everyday texting her |
t3_36wns8 | tifu | TIFU by melting plastic | So... this happened some weeks ago and I just thought about it again.
Being the horny guy without a girlfriend I naturally got tired of my hands, which led me to acquiring a fleshlight and free gifts they offered. A few days later the package arrived, all was good and horny me was satisfied.
The fuckup starts with me using oil for lube, being a complete derp for not remembering that this attacks the material - which it did. After a while the thing just got cracks and all that stuff... being a broke dude I researched through the internet if there is a cheap way to repair it.
Several hours later my brain decided to melt the whole thing as well as some of the other TPE based stuff and just create a complete new toy. I created a mould with aluminum foil and a cut up plastic bottle... (yea, pretty clever to use plastic with hot fluids.)
Got out a pot, put my induction cooker on around 120 Celsius and let the glorious plastic tunnel cook. it worked out, somewhat... at least it got to it's liquid state while also giving off some tasty fumes and a little smoke in the process. But I didn't care too much (screw the smoke, I need to succeed!) and kept going. At some point I decided it's ready to be poured into the mould...
As soon as I started pouring it in there the whole sauce went up into flames, burning and smoking in all its glory. Luckily I reacted fast and put a lid on the pot and put out the fire coming from the mould. It was a mess. My whole appartement was filled with smoke. I had to open up all the windows for around over an hour before the smoke was finally gone.
In hindsight I'm glad that I haven't had a smoke alarm back then, which would probably gone off and alerted everyone in the house.
Lesson learned. Don't try to be a cheap ass and rather save up to buy a new one, instead of experimenting and possible setting your home in flames. | Broke Fleshlight, tried to melt it to cast a new one, liquid fleshlight went up in flames and filled my appartement with smoke |
t3_2wz0qt | relationships | Me [24m] and my [24f] girlfriend broke up after five years. I cannot deal with the crippling loneliness. | We were together for five years. We lived together. We spent most if not all of our time together.
I didn't have any good friends before we met and didn't make any while we were together.
I'm not awkward or FA, I actually have good social skills and find it incredibly easy to talk to people.
I just can't seem to form proper friendships. Like the kind where you can ask them out to do stuff and it won't be weird.
I miss my girlfriend, in the sense that it hasn't been over long and everything is so different and I love her company, but deep down I know that it wasn't working. So while I miss her, a lot, I'm not hurting in that I wish we were back together.
The reason I am hurting is because I just cannot deal with the loneliness.
Pretty much every night we were together.
Now I've moved out and it's just me.
I come home from work and what? Go to the gym, cook dinner, read, try and better myself through learning a new skill (codeacademy, language, whatever) but the entire time I can't shrug off how alone I feel and how sad I am because I am alone.
Every piece of advice I read, people recommend to just keep busy, better yourself, and try and meet friends in various ways.
I'm doing all of the above but it's not helping.
I end up most nights just staring at a wall thinking about how fucking sad my existence is. | Broke up with girlfriend after five years of being each others best friend and now I can't deal with the loneliness. |
t3_1p8s4x | relationships | Me [22F] trying to win back my ex [24M] of 3 yrs, need help trying to do the cheesiest, most romantic thing. | My ex [24/M] and I [22/F] dated for almost 3 years, I knew before we started dating that we were meant to be together forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We've had so many good times over the few years. We have had our ups and downs but we always worked through every tough spot that we've had. We are probably the cheesiest couple. Our cheesy-ness is what we love most about each other.
Although, this past year, we've been way too focused on bills and working, and I stopped feeling appreciated, didn't feel loved like I used to, and I was really starting to believe that he didn't really want to get engaged any time soon, I felt crushed and unhappy. We have discussed at length what our wedding was going to be like, we had picked out our future kids names even. However, for quite some time he just kept pushing the idea of marriage further and further down the line. I was losing hope and I broke things off about three months ago.
After some time on my own, I've realized that no matter what I'm doing or who I go out with, I feel like I'm just wasting time or delaying the future. I know, deep down, that I'm going to end up with him, I still believe that we are meant to be together. We've recently started talking again and hanging out. He does feel the same way, he says he loves me more than anything, and he actually had planned on proposing around the time of my birthday next month.
I want to wait to get back together for a little while, I want to accomplish some personal goals, but before the year is over, I want to be back with him. We both understand where we both went wrong in our relationship, and we do realize that things will be different and a little bit harder, but we are both willing to work on our relationship as a team.
Now, my question to reddit is, what is the cheesiest, most romantic thing that I can do to show this man that I love him more than anything and that I want him back? | I want my ex back, we still love each other, we're a cheesy couple, what can I do to ask him back out in a cheesy and romantic way? |
t3_phel7 | relationships | Reconnecting after emotional Disconnect/near break up | Too Long Version: ME 27 wife 26. I got depressed do to my job and not having enough sex in our relationship. To escape this I sunk more and more time into video games and ignored my wife way to much.
To clarify I had always been a gamer and still am and she had always had kind of a problem with it, but when my depression set on I went over bored. As It became clear this was having an impact on our relationship I tried to fix things and spent less and less time gaming until the point now where I don't game at all unless the wife happens to be going out with friends for a night or something. IE I spend all my time with her.
However this hasn't seemed to satisfy her and after a recent fight over something trivial she basically said that I pushed her away too much and she doesn't know if we can stay together. After much crying and back and forth on both sides we decided to at least try to make a go at fixing things both b/c we did/do love eachother (7 year relationship 5 year marriage) and b/c we have a daughter.
However now I am feeling very disconnected from her, and I don't know how to try to reconcile and get back those old feelings. | Me and wife almost broke up. Decided to try to fix things but now feeling very emotionally disconnected. Steps to take to help? |
t3_4r3ol7 | relationships | A guy [26 M] keeps asking me [19 F] to drink wine at his house. How to turn him down nicely? | He is a nice guy and all, very friendly and funny. I meet him regularly because of mutual free time activities and we can have a really nice conversation and a good time. Now he has asked me several times during a period of 2 years, via Facebook mostly. Today he asked again.
I am really not interested in meeting him alone though, not over a glass of wine nor anywhere else. No specific reason, I just don't want to. How do I turn him down nicely without being rude, and without making it too awkward to bump into him again? | How do I tell this older guy *no, I don't want to meet you* in a friendly way?, without making it awkward to bump into him? |
t3_17edko | relationships | People have been flirting with my girlfriend[F15] of 2 months and it's opening up a bit of my[M16] insecurities | Before our relationship, I was pretty self secure and I wasn't really affected by other people's comments and their status.
I'm not very experienced and this is my first relationship, so I've come to /r/relationships for help. I don't know how to build my self esteem back up and I'm not sure I feel comfortable with her flirting with other guys. She's had boyfriends in the past who were comfortable with it and so she hasn't really had to change her behavior and it's unusual to her that I'm bothered by it. I'm not sure what to tell her, what to do, or what I should be thinking. | My girlfriend flirts with other guys and it's made be self-conscious, and I don't know what to do about it. |
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