id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_1j6h8u | relationship_advice | 37 yr husband, hid masturbation from me (27/f), is now acting strange | Throw away, obviously.
Husband 37, I'm 27, been married going on 3 years, together going on 6, friends for around 10.
So my husband has never attempted to hide masturbation from me, I don't care if he does it and I've told him this, what does bother me is when he tries to hide things from me. He knows this, he also knows that usually him masturbating will get me in the mood.
So last night I guess he got horny and decided to handle it himself, no big deal, used porn, again no big deal, don't care. What bothered me is that he tried to hide it, he angled the monitor of his computer (which is in our bedroom) so that he could see the screen from the bathroom, put on wireless headphones and proceeded to enjoy himself. He came out for a second I guess to change the video or fast forward or whatever, completely zipped up like he wasn't doing anything, set his phone down on my desk (he never uses his phone for porn, and no there aren't any naked pictures of me on it), fixed the video and went back to the bathroom taking his phone with him.
Now I'm not a guy but I have to assume it would be more comfortable to jerk off sitting down than standing up but whatever. Well I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and used the other one so I wouldn't interrupt or whatever, by the time I got back he had EVERYTHING shut off and was in bed. From what I could hear while I was in the other bathroom he did it in a hurry as well.
Now today he hasn't said a word to me since he left for work, though he usually texts me all day. So now I'm confused, kind of upset and wondering what the deal with the phone was. I woke up before him, which is normal but once he realized I was awake he jumped up, got on his computer, deleted the video, emptied the recycle bin and cleared the history, and he's been rather guarded about his phone as well.
I'd rather just wait for him to text but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. What should I do? | Husband tried to hid his masturbation (which he's never done in the past), took his phone with him which he never does, deleted history/video and is now not talking to me. Advice? |
t3_558o77 | relationships | I'm[20 M] in love with my friend[20 F], she doesn't want me, wanted to end it but we share friends | Hi.
I'm in love with my friend Tina, but she doesn't love me back, I'm just friend to her. We were really close, sharing everything and caring for each other but like week ago I decided I can't be her friend since sooner or later she will break my heart.
We're both in college and have many friends in common. I didn't hang out with them since my decision to cut contact with Tina(what is kinda stupid since we see each other almost every day). Of course they noticed it, asked what's going on(I'm pretty sure everyone knows about my feelings anyway), Tina texted to me aswell, but I didn't respond. They don't give up easily - and to be honest I really like all of them. Giving up on them is so damn hard for me and I don't want really to do it. But do I have a choice? My feelings for Tina won't just dissapear. Today they invited me for drinking in pub, I told them that I will think about it. Tina will be there. I really want to go but I don't know if I should. If I go there I'm pretty sure that I won't do anything stupid, I'll just remain neutral to her if she initiates a conversation, but still - deep down in my soul I still have feelings for her. And I'm almost sure that if she gets drunk she'll start talking to me no matter what, some 'friendly' hugs etc and I'm afraid I can fuck this up and take the bait instead of remain neutral.
Dear reddit, what should I do? | in love with a friend, wanted to cut contact, but we got a lot of common friends who I don't want to lose, not sure how to act |
t3_4hp7v5 | relationships | My sister [20F] and I [19M] want to start a band together. Our parents [54M] [46F] are against it and want us to pursue something more academic. | My sister and I currently both live at home, we're both into music. We've been discussing it for a while and thinking we'd like to professionally pursue a career as a duo, with my sister doing vocals and me playing the guitar. We think we're quite good and have what it takes.
We both work full time at a grocery store. My sister also sells stuff online and makes some money on the side. She's into crafting stuff, and I help out with that. She also tried some modelling but gave up on that real quick cause it wasn't her thing.
Anyhow, our passion is in music and we're really keen to start a band. Our dad isn't too keen on that and neither is our mother. They want us to try to focus on something more academic oriented like engineering or business.
We probably could if we wanted to but neither of us are really interested in that. I've talked it out with my sister, she's really happy about the idea of starting a band. We've recorded some videos, played at a local cafe a few times, and also played in front of some friends. They all think we're great, and my sister is really talented, she has a beautiful singing voice.
Our parents say they are basically tired of us and our unrealistic goals. They say if we don't make a proper plan for life, they want us out of the house and to start supporting ourselves, which we could probably do.
Sometimes I've had second thoughts and I tell my sister, you know, maybe this whole thing won't work out, we should have a back up plan. But she seems to think its going pretty good and it would
Any advice on what we should do? Should we just move out and pursue our music career? Or is that a pipedream and we should focus on other things in the meanwhile, like applying for a university or something? Got any advice for realistic expectations when starting a music career? | Sister and I want to start a band, parents aren't too keen and want something more academic. Say they're fed up with us and unless we sort our life out, they want us out of the house and to support ourselves. |
t3_1iwxqj | dating_advice | Why is is so hard to find a man? | So this is a throwaway I've never posted anywhere before just lurked. But I've been feeling really down about the dating life lately and hopefully someone can give me some advice.
I'm a 25 year old female, and I've been having some really bad luck lately.
The last guy I was seeing was a chameleon. So he pretended to like the stuff that I do to get into my pants, he does it with a lot of girls and he's on ok cupid and I fell for it. Ever since then I've been on a man-hating streak. But I've been noticing that I just dont have the confidence that I used to. Like that guy just stole it from me. I extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sex now. Like why should I let you have it when thats all you want from me?
I'm never approached at the bars, I have to make the first move, and I consider myself an approachable attractive woman. I guess not. I'd like to just get laid just once more again. Its been over 6 months since this guy screwed me up. | where are all these guys I know finding girls to have sex with and I cant even get a guy to approach me at a bar? |
t3_4rely2 | relationships | Me(23M) with my girlfriend (20F), she's says I love you a lot and it confuses me. | Hey reddit, I know this will all sound stupid but allow me to explain.
I'm in a official relationship with my GF since january after a lot of messing around and I must say that this is the best relation that I ever had but here's the issue ( or is it ?).
She's always been the kind of girl to be more discret? with her feeling, she's even mentionned when she first told me 'I love you' that she wanted to preverse the value of those words and that we should not use it evertime because it would lose its meaning and I agreed to that because I think its true. Thing is, ever since I move to my New appartment( I proposed her to live with since she's living at her parents house and she dont really like it, she refused thought), she started saying it a lot and by a lot I mean 10-15 a day.
I mean its not really annoying but more like strange coming from her. Maybe it's just me but why would you need to confirm your feelings that often except if you're trying to convince yourself ? Anyway I'm confused so what would you think about this ? | girlfriend says I love you a lot more and it isn't like her. I'm confused as to what to think. |
t3_iqowj | running | Had a great running moment today. What's yours? | Went on a 5 miles run during my lunch break and when I had nearly reached the end I realized that I was going to have a new person best for a training run. Within the last 50 feet a line had formed across the sidewalk for some fancy-shmancy gourmet lunch cart and the queuers had left a small hole, about a foot and a half, for pedestrains to get through. Just before reaching the hole a sharp dressed guy stopped perfectly in the space and started reading the lunch board menu. I had a choice to make but it had to be quick as 1)I wanted that great time and 2)There was no way I could stop in time. So without breaking stride I placed my REALLY sweaty left hand between the lurker's shoulder blades on his crisp oxford shirt and very gently moved him out of the way as we made eye contact. I ran straight through the re-opened hole and got a great time 50 feet later. | I gently moved a pedestrian out of a congested path without breaking stride and got a new personal best for a 5 mile training run. Felt really good. |
t3_2nopbh | relationships | Can my [21 M] decision to be patient with "steady" dating a [20 F] really pay off? | Being an engineering college student might afford me a level of "social awkwardness" when it comes to dating but hey, I've got a crush and I'm sticking to it!
Here's the deal: I've been friends with a girl I have interest in for about three months now, both of us college students and both of us engineering majors (Mech and Nuke). We hang out, get to know each other, and eventually after I formally ask her out on a couple good dates, I directly tell her my feelings and find out she's never dated before, (or even kissed a guy). Expresses that she "wants to take things slow and...play it by ear." Both of us are very busy especially now around finals, and I understand her concern. We both agree that we find each other good company and agree to continue hanging out, going out for coffee etc.
My only other previous relationship took off like a drag racer (ended about 8 months ago) and part of me relishes the opportunity to test my patience and willingness to wait for a girl I think is absolutely wonderful. She doesn't text much, but since the aforementioned incident, when we do get together we've been hanging out with other friends too, so it doesn't feel like a "dating" situation, basically backing out of asking her out alone entirely.
My plan is to wait until after our winter break into next semester to ask her again what her thoughts are on more steady dating, and really make it clear how much I want to try and make something work. Chances are I won't see her at all during that month's time, as we're both traveling. Is this distance a good or bad thing? I'm afraid she might take this as "He's no longer interested in me", and back off even more. Am I going about this the right way?
I admit there's a chance I find myself with "just" another good friend, which I would be okay with. Thing is I think she's an awesome girl, and want to give a relationship with her a good shot (no college try here!) | Girl who I am friends with has no experience dating, wants to take things very slow. Hope my patience over about a month's time apart pays off, am worried this time apart will be interpreted as disinterest. |
t3_2z3ie7 | relationships | Every "friendship" I've [20/F] ever had resulted in feelings of indifference or irritation. Why can't I sustain a friendship? | This is something that has been bothering me a lot lately. If I could get any sort of insight or advice at all, I would appreciate it so much.
To you I would appear to be an out-going, relatively well-adjusted University student with many acquaintances and friends. Yet, I don't think I've ever had a real "friend." I have always secretly despised all the friendships I have ever made throughout my life. Spending time with my "friends" elicits feelings of immense dread. In elementary school and high school, I was very excited to distance myself from my old "friends" and meet new people with similar interests.
Now that I'm finishing up a degree in University, I have met a lot of people that I do like. However, as soon as I truly get to know somebody and start developing a close friendship with them, I feel irritated with whatever personality traits or idiosyncrasies they have and instantly distance myself. It doesn't matter who they are. I've never met someone I could stand being friends with for more than a year. Yet I WANT to have friends... It might be important to note that I've never had problems maintaining close, romantic relationships. This is an issue strictly about friendships. What's wrong with me? | Never had a problem making friends, but once they consider me to be a "close" friend, I always decide I hate their guts and distance myself from them. Why?!? |
t3_3jtkrz | relationship_advice | [17/m] Looking for advice on how to be noticed by girls | Some background: I am captain of the school chess team, and I play soccer (I play chess competitively but I'm not great at soccer). I'd give myself an honest 6.5/10 in terms of looks. My closest friends are the really antisocial gamer-type, so the fact that I hang out with them so much means that I never get to go to any high school parties, or go to prom for that matter. As I've gotten older, I've tried to separate myself from the antisocial/nerdy group, but it seems like I've made little to no progress - mostly because I'm really not good at talking to people. There's this one kid at my school who is without a doubt 3/10 (bad acne, overweight, greasy hair) but hangs out with girls all the time, and he's not gay. I'm really not sure what makes him so much more appealing over me; maybe it's because he smokes/deals pot, but even then I'm not sure why he gets so much attention.
I'm perfectly comfortable talking to friends and family, but when it comes to girls, I overthink everything, and awkward silence often ensues. Any way for me out of this situation I'm in right now? Junior prom is this year and I just can't see myself asking anyone to prom - everyone is usually taken or they're just way out of my league. I sometimes imagine not ever having a girlfriend, but I try not to think about that happening. | My friends and I are in the introverted gamers/nerd group in high school, but I'm trying to not be labeled as such any more. How do I get noticed by girls? |
t3_3ued89 | tifu | TIFU by trying to clean my computer | This happened a couple months a go, yada yada
So I was checking my computer one day and realised that my SSD had been filled to the brim with random shit that I didn't need, and so was my Hard Drive, so i though to myself "Fuck it, i'll take it back to factory settings." Now me being pretty shit with computers when I was resetting it I ticked some option that deleted EVERYTHING from my computer, including Windows 10. So I am panicking playing in the BIOS, again I am pretty shit with computers, trying to re-install windows and all that. About two hours had passed, mostly on tech support in order to get my CD Key back (I still had the windows 8 disk), but I decided I'd just go buy Windows 10. I bought a Windows 10 USB with ease, but when I was installing it, the CD Key wouldn't work. I spent another couple of hours on Tech support to try and solve it only to be told my computer was broken. So I packed up my computer to take it to the store when my mum notices a little sticker on the side of my desktop that has a Windows 8 CD Key on. | Tried to clean my computer, unisntalled windows, bought Windows 10, found out the CD Key for windows 8 was next to my knee all along. |
t3_484y00 | relationships | Me [21F] unsure if my [22/M] boyfriend is talking to his ex | I'm gonna try to make this as brief and to the point as possible. My boyfriend and I started dating late September/early October of last year. All things have been going great - we never get sick of each other even though we see each other at least every other day. In November, we were both watching a movie and he kept texting a girl even though he had his arm around me. His phone was right in front of my face so I could read the convo. I asked him to put his phone up because I was trying to watch the movie and he said "oh sorry, I'm giving this girl advice about this guy she found on tinder. She's bat shit crazy". The first thing that popped up in my head was "well if she's crazy, why are you talking to her?". I got over it and life moved on.
Shortly after that, we were laying in bed and he dawned on me that that was the girl he had been talking to that night AND the girl he had a picture of on his phone. I'm going to admit - I did go down her timeline. That's when I saw posts/pics she had from September of last year. He would comment "wow" on a selfie of her and like just about every post. I don't know if they ever dated because he has never mentioned it. I'm just concerned that they may have had something going on while we were dating. He still comments on and likes her posts to this day. It's one thing if he has girl friends, but another if he is still talking to an ex. I texted him "hey can I talk to you about something later?" so I will try to bring it up later today. Not sure what I should say/how I should react.
We get along SO well and always bring things up in a mature way when something bugs one of us. I'm just starting to wonder if things are too good to be true. My last boyfriend cheated on me so maybe I'm just being too paranoid because of that. | Boyfriend of 5 months may still be talking to his ex without me knowing about it. Not sure how I should confront him about it. |
t3_2ojuez | relationships | Me [22 M] walked in on my 2 year girlfriend [20 F] , cheating on me - heartbroken. | Never imagined I would be somebody who posted something like this, but here it goes...
So last night I was out with some friends at a campus bar, she was at some friends drinking. She ignored my texts all night and I knew she was wasted..When the bar closed at 2 I walked over to her house which is right next to the bar and her roommates were all up. I knocked on the door, and the roommates were all whispering before they opened it so I knew something was up. I ignored all of them and walked immediately upstairs to her room and she was with another guy. Not mid-action or anything, but it was obvious what had happened.
I didn't hit the guy, or anything really. Kept my composure pretty well, told her she was a piece of shit and we were done forever kind of thing while I waited for my uber home. Broke down right as I was entering my house in front of my roommates, didn't explain anything though.
I'm never getting back with her, but this was my best friend of 2 years. We did everything together and she did make me really happy, so I'm heartbroken right now. Have never experienced this kind of pain so basically I'm just asking for some guidance in how to deal wth this kind of thing and move on to become a better person. | Caught my girlfriend cheating on me last night & she was my best friend, don't know how to move on and become a better person from this |
t3_3tqw5x | tifu | TIFU by catching my roommate having sex | So today I was sexiled from my dorm. While my roommate was fucking I went to a study lounge to do homework on my laptop. About an hour later I my laptop dies so I go up to the dorm to get my charger.
Again, it had been an hour so I figured they'd probably be done by now. I opened the door and see them naked on their bed having sex. Instead of leaving immediately, I try to play it cool and act like it's no big deal. I say, "I just need to get my charger for my laptop."
Now I start to walk in the room. After a few steps tho, I freeze. I realize that I can't just act like nothing is going on; two people are fucking literally less than 10 feet from me. After a few seconds of just standing there, the girl frantically says, "Dude!" Realizing I've made the situation worse I say sorry and leave the room. I never did get the charger too so that sucked. | I walk in on my roommate having sex and stay in the room in order to play it cool. This fails miserably. |
t3_3047rg | tifu | TIFU by pushing an issue too far. | Tonight I was talking with a friend while she was at work. Earlier she had mentioned that she wanted to tell me about what happened, but it would have to be for later. I figured she just didn't have the time then.
Jump back to tonight, I ask her about it and she says she can't say yet. So I try to figure out why by asking her questions. Well I push it too far and I upset her. So I felt like a jerk so I apologize. But I didn't get a message that felt like 'apology accepted'. So I pushed that further to get a reaction, and boy did I get one.
This girl is not known for cursing or being very angry. But she did all of that because I started to make the issue about myself instead of dropping it. I miss took what she was saying before as passive aggressive, which it wasn't, she was just tired. So now I feel like the biggest jerk in the world and no matter how much I apologize, it doesn't fix the issue. I don't know how to. I often get very stressed out when I have an unsolvable problem, and I over react.
I tried to fix it by having a normal conversation, not mentioning the other stuff, but after a few replies she is not replying to me anymore. So I feel like I messed up our friendship, but I am probably just over reacting, but it feels that way. | I over apologized to a friend and actually made her mad at me. And I feel like I really screwed things up and I am a terrible person. |
t3_12cul9 | AskReddit | Reddit, My family is being evicted in 22 days, by my uncle who falsely gotten his name on my grandfather's trust/will. We have virtually no money to get a lawyer. What do we do? (More info inside) | Okay, basically, my uncle had his name put on all of my grandpa's stuff (i.e. Banks, trust, will...etc) because my grandpa is getting old, and its just what people do. Anyways he decided to turn himself into 'God' and sell both the houses his name was on.
I know i didn't explain this before, but my grandpa gave my mom this house, and now my uncle's name is on it.
So, This is VERY long and hard to explain whats going on, so i'll just sum it up. My uncle got his lawyers **using my grandpa's money** to send us a eviction notice, and after 72 hours, the police will get involved. He already did this to my other uncle, so we know he is going through with it. This guy is insane.
So, my question is this: How do we get a lawyer, or represent ourselves in court, when the person that we are suing(?) is basically using our own money to sue us.
We already talked to some lawyers, and they estimated it will cost ~$17k and $5k to start. We don't have money to do this, but if we don't, we lose the house.
What the hell do we do?? | Psycho uncle is evicting us, because he thinks he owns everything, since he is a co-trustee on my grandfather's will |
t3_wpq3r | AskReddit | I've grown so used to being insulted and made fun of that I now don't know how to take a compliment, how do I fix this? | I grew up and in High School I became overweight. Through those four years I was asked on 'dates' to tease me, guys said I was pretty and then if I felt happy about it they would start laughing about how I fell for it. One person went as far as to ask to take a picture of me for the 'yearbook' and when I let her she posted it on facebook and tagged people in it and they all said "thanks I needed a good laugh" in the comments.
Now I've started taking care of myself and working out along with a diet and I've lost 20 pounds so far. I stopped dying my hair and am letting my natural hair color come in, I get waxed every other week on my eyebrows, I went to Bare Essentials for a make-up tutorial on how to wear makeup without it looking unnatural and use that now.
I got new clothes that aren't baggy and unflattering, and I am even trying to be more social.
Trouble is, whenever I get a compliment and its from a guy, no matter how hard I try, I can't take the compliment seriously. At all. I think they are either lying to make me feel better about my weight loss and changes or that they are teasing me.
I'm working hard to try to help myself and it's failing because of what I was used to getting in the past. How am I going to overcome this?? | I was bullied on my weight/looks, I lost weight and started taking care of my appearance but now cant take a compliment seriously. |
t3_g3z74 | relationship_advice | reddit, I can't stand my girlfriends kids & I need some advice. | Basically we've been dating for a little over a year... and I grossly underestimated the tolerance needed to date someone with 2 young boys. At first it was weird but after a while I tried harder and harder to bond with them... but now it is just to the point where I can't stand being around them. What makes it more complicated is that I just started my own business and now my girlfriend expects me to take time out of my day every time she has them and it is really distracting / stressing me out because I can't stay focused on the business when I am coming home to be around 2 kids I don't even like. They have behavioral problems that mostly stem from her ex husbands lack of discipline... we are constantly having to get them to use their manners.. the pee on everything......... today the older (and potty trained) one peed intentionally behind our chair in the living room. It's just stressing me out and I fear that if I don't do something now it could just fall off the rails later. I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but it's growing harder and harder as time goes by. Maybe I am being a dick about everything? I don't know... it's just hard to be in this position and I don't know what to do. | I'm resenting my girlfriends kids more and more as time goes by and having recently started my own business I fear that it will become unbearable to the point of disaster... |
t3_2btu4g | relationships | My ex is drunk and texting me pictures of herself. | I dated this girl for a long time. We "split" two days ago because of a fight I started. The next day, yesterday, we talked a bit, she texted me that night because she was lonely. I apologized for things that had happened. I stopped responding and an hour later, she calls me. The next day, today, I text her and she's not responding. But she starts sending me pictures of her and her friends at a concert. She looks *great.* I'm responding to the texts, and she's not saying anything, just sending me pictures. She's getting drunk and sends me a picture telling me she's drunk. We text:
[REDACTED]
At this point I stop responding because I don't know what to say. This is shocking, and really messing with my head. She looks stunning in those pictures. Why would she be doing this to me?
I don't respond, because I don't know what to say. ~10 minutes later, she texts,
Her: OK
Like she was trying to get a reaction out of me or something. Why would she do that? I want to say something like "That's really messed up, I would never want to be with someone who does that" but the truth is I do still want to be with her, what she's doing right now is really hurting me badly and I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to turn to right now about this. | My ex is drunk and sending pictures of herself to me, saying "I hate you," and "This is what you're never gonna get back," it's messing with my head and I don't know what to do. |
t3_r6n7p | BreakUps | Simply don't know what to do, wait for her or move on? | Hey guys, while I have never posted to this sub before I have frequented it quite a bit and you do seem like a good bunch of people, and I'd appreciate your opinions/advice. I apologise for the throw-a-way, the other party involved is also a redditor.
I found myself in a very difficult and emotional situation. My ex (female - early 20s) and I (male - early 20s) were together for one year and eight months all together, there was a month of separation in the middle in which we both casually saw other people.
On January 8th of this year she broke my heart, it came as quite a shock and I was torn apart. Three weeks later however, she decided she wanted to try again. Needless to say I was all for it but, alas, it did not last more than 2 weeks. Again, I was utterly heartbroken. Less than a month later she reveals she is seeing someone else, a close friend of which she has always spoken very highly. This was too much for me and I even had a severe physical reaction.
But she is also my very closest and best friend. We speak daily despite the hurt she has caused me, simply because we cannot imagine our lives without each other. Foolishly, I have continued to fight for her.
Then, two days ago, she told me she is still in love with me, but cannot be with me right now due to emotional difficulties. We talked for hours and she tried to explain to me that she is with the other guy only temporarily, she has genuine affection for him but wants to be with me when she is able. She wants me to wait for her and I am inclined to do it. I want to but don't know if I should.
So, can anyone who has been in a similar situation or indeed anyone at all offer their advice? | ex-gf says she still loves me but is with someone else, she wants me to wait, what do? |
t3_11qn1b | AskReddit | Can reddit make a list of Very Stressful Things to help those with social/performance anxiety? | A bit of background - when I get stressed, I throw up. A lot. It made me miss my graduation (what with me throwing up in the garden complete in gown and all), miss trips with friends, almost miss out on conferences for work, and makes getting on a planes a pain in the ass. When this happens I find it very hard to follow through with what I'm supposed to be doing because I know as soon as I back down, the vomit stops and I feel better. The past few years have been me fighting (and often failing) to do things I want or need to do against waves of nausea and fear.
Then last week, my sister got engaged. She offered me the position of bridesmaid, but added she wouldn't mind if I didn't want to do it because she'd rather me be happy and stress-free on the day than be stressing out. I honestly don't know what I want to do - I want to be there for her, but I also don't want to be potentially making her worry on day she really doesn't need it. I can't get out of my head how disappointed I'll be if I can't do this.
What I'd really like is to not be so nervous - I figure the best way to do this is exposure therapy to Very (or to start, Mildly) Stressful Things so by the time the wedding comes around it seems like no big deal. I want to make a list, and do as many tasks as I can and see if it helps at all. I figure lots of other people could probably have use for this list too, or have had similar experiences and could give advice about what worked for them. | I throw up when I'm stressed/nervous, but don't want to do that at my sisters wedding. Solution? Exposure therapy! |
t3_4qe3ua | relationships | My[23,F] bf[23,M] has been suffering from depression. I don't know how to help him right now and how I should feel about it. | Sorry I wasn't sure which subreddit I should've put it under. It was either this or /r/depression.
We've been together for a little over a year. We live roughly an hour away but we would make the commute to see each other 3-4x a week around my work schedule. We usually text and call each other to make sure the other is ok and be supportive with anything. My friends, family and I love him. He made me feel super special and no matter what we did we would always have a good time.
Earlier last year around November he was in a dark place and would get very moody. He would always apologize to me and mention that he's upset that he didn't realize this sooner. He feels like he failed at life. He realized what he's been preparing for his whole college life he doesn't want to do anymore because of the stress going into graduate school, time, and his youth.
In between this time he got better and started going to therapy and taking an antidepressant. He seems like his pleasant old self and I really can't tell. He's not going to therapy anymore and is only taking the antidepressant.
He told me recently something is wrong but he can't pinpoint it. He usually stays in his room playing video games or watching Netflix. He's been trying to cope with his depression after he lost his passion and everything like his hobbies.
He stopped communicating with me for a few days. I tried calling, texting and no replies. He's done that a few times recently too. He keeps telling me he's sorry and I tell him how I don't like it and a simple text back would suffice. It just scares me because he lives so far away and I don't know how to justify my feelings of being lonely without him and the idea of not knowing what's going on in his mind terrifies me. I'm trying to be supportive and not be mad at him for not replying but at the same time I want to cry and rush over to him. I just really want to help but I don't know how. Please someone help us. | Bf has depression and stopped contact with me. I don't know what goes on in a depressed mindset and if my feelings of loneliness, anger, abandonment, and sadness are normal. |
t3_1mg4u5 | relationships | [17F] with my boyfriend [18M] of a year and a half. Boyfriend of a year and a half [18M] is at bootcamp and wrote me a letter accusing me [17F] of cheating. | My boyfriend has been at boot camp for 2 and a half months now. I've been writing him everyday and his letters have been very positive and he was doing great. Then, apparently, one of his friends wrote to him and told him that i've "been fucking other guys" which isn't true AT ALL.
I received a really angry and disrespectful letter from my boyfriend about a week ago. In this letter, he told me that this "friend" had wrote to him and "told him the honest truth about whats been going on" (with me, back at home).
My boyfriend said things like "Goddammit, you couldn't wait 3 fucking months" and "you betrayed me" and "if you don't explain yourself, you will NEVER hear from me again and you can burn all your memories of us and i want you out of my life." and "Im over here working my ass off to protect your freedoms and you're at home fucking other guys" in his letter, and it hurt so much because i have been 100% faithful and haven't done anything wrong.
I talked to the friend and he told me that he wrote that letter because he was "looking out for (my boyfriend)" and he "thought i was going to cheat". He saw me texting a guy and saw this guy comment "cute" on one of my photos, so he thought something was up between me and this guy (this guy is just a friend and nothing more), and exaggerated and wrote to my boyfriend saying i was cheating on him.
I don't know what to do, I wrote to my boyfriend explaining everything but right now its just my word against his friends word and my boyfriend has always had trust issues so I don't know if he'll even believe me. What do i do if he doesn't believe me and wants me out of his life? :-/ | Boyfriend received letter from a friend back at home. This friend told my boyfriend lies and now my boyfriend thinks i'm sleeping around while he's at bootcamp. |
t3_51bbis | legaladvice | (AZ) Looking out for a close friend, trying to sue the company he is renting his car from. I appreciate all help! | Hello everyone and thank you for taking time to read this.
I have a friend that is renting a car from a small auto-dealer/renter. On his contract it states that the payments are monthly. He got a call saying that he was late on his payment and they said that he should be paying weekly payments. He argued with them for a little about it because it clearly states on his contract that it is monthly payments. He went down to the dealership and after reviewing the contract that the dealership had, it showed weekly payments BUT, and here is the kicker, where it was supposed to have his signature and initials, it was all forged by someone else, very clearly forged and nothing like his actual signature or initials. Is there anything he can do? Is taking the dealership to court a good or bad idea? My friend is considering taking them to court and I really don't want to see him waste him money on a lawyer only to lose the case, lose money and lose his car.
Thank you. | friend rented a car, signed up for monthly payments as it states on contract. Dealerships contract shows weekly payments with obvious forged signatures. now wut |
t3_shc63 | AskReddit | I need some opinions on street smarts. | I live in a college dorm that isn't exactly in the most reputable part of town. Me and two other guys just made a run to Taco Bell (which is about half of a mile away) at about 10:00 PM, and when we were on our way back we noticed a sketchy looking guy with his hands in his pockets standing on the sidewalk down the street. No one else was around. As we approached him, I offered a friendly "Hi" and he returned my greeting and there was no trouble. When we got back I mentioned this story to my roommate, and he told me it was a HORRIBLE idea to engage the guy if I thought he looked at all suspicious. However, I think it's a better idea to have said something, and I would have even if I had been alone. My general philosophy is, if he is planning on mugging me, he's probably expecting me to act vulnerable and to not even make eye contact. So, if anything, I would think that me acknowledging the guy might throw him off-guard and deter a potential mugging. So here's the question, do you guys think it's ever a good idea to say anything to sketchy looking strangers on the street? Other advice on street smarts is welcome, too! | I said hi to a sketchy looking guy on the street in a sketchy part of town, roommate thinks it was a stupid idea. What do you guys think? |
t3_3c3z5m | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] 4 Months, Lied to her about not watching porn. | Me and my Girlfriend have been together for 4 months and we love each other very much, I've never loved another girl as much as I love her, she just makes me happy, simples.
I recently found out that she has a lot of insecurities to do with herself and they are eating away at her day by day, she doesn't feel comfortable with me liking other girls photos on Instagram or Facebook and she will get jealous and question me, which is fair enough, because I would do the same.
Here is where it went wrong..very wrong. I recently made a promise to her that I would no longer watch porn. She doesn't like me watching porn because she feels as if it is cheating and disloyal and quite frankly it disgusts her. She recently found out that I was in fact watching porn because I brought it up stupidly enough. We had sex twice yesterday (before she found out) and now she is disgusted with me. She says she is hurt and doesn't know if she can trust me.
I love this girl very much and I know what I have done is very wrong, I understand that I have hurt her because I could see the hurt in her eyes when I told her. She doesn't even want me to touch her now, she feels 'disgusted' by me, which in turn hurts me too..
I've looked this issue up a great deal on the internet, according to most posts online it is normal for males to watch pornography whilst in a relationship, it doesn't have anything to do with emotional attachment or cheating..
I told her I will give her space and sent her a paragraph over the text telling her that I love her and I am very disappointed in myself, she is reading these messages but clearly does not want to talk to me right now.
I love her to the moon and back and I would say that the porn is definitely killing this relationship now, she said to me yesterday "It's either me, or porn".
What do I do, for the greater good of this relationship? I don't want to break up with her and I don't want her to break up with me.
Thank you! | Promised my girlfriend I wouldn't watch porn, watched it, now she is hurt, disgusted by me, I feel awful, but I want to prove to her that I love her. |
t3_kqruh | AskReddit | Does anyone know much about 'gold numbers'? | I lost my phone I went to my local supermarket and got a little pay as you go phone for a tenner, the number that came with the phone was pretty awesome. There was some complication over the number as I kept getting people contacting me looking for some woman I don't know and long story short I had to get hold of the carrier in order to sort things out.
The fella I talked to was surprised I had gotten the number with a cheap pay as you go mobile, he said usually you have to pay several hundred pounds in order to get such numbers.
I have looked up gold numbers but can't find much other than websites selling numbers for up to £3500, I would say mine looks to be about £800. I can see no way of actually selling it, I emailed a site but got no response. Does anyone know what the deal with this is? Who buys these numbers? Can I actually get any money for it? | I got a 'gold number' that is potentially worth a bit of money when I bought a cheap phone. I am just curious if anyone knows a bit more about these. |
t3_xnnbe | AskReddit | Anyone have any ideas on what to major in? | I'm sorry if I'm rambling but here it goes:
Hi I was wondering if anyone can help me decide on a major. As of right now, I have almost no clue as to what I want to do or what career I want. Before college, I was hoping to become a pharmacologist, but then I remembered I hated chemistry. So now that I'm in college, I became interested in three majors: English(Want to be a journalist/writer), Economics, and maybe psychology, but the problem is that I don't think it's very practical to pursue those things after I did some research on them. I know that English major doesn't necessarily entail writing, but it's more of reading, and the job outlook for this journalism is very small. Plus, I have a lot of doubts on my ability to write effectively. The other two majors, I don't really know, it's just something that kind of interests me. The one thing that I really considered is to work for the public sector (i.e. social work, government official) because I want to make a positive change and help people, but then again, I don't feel confident that I would find a job. Any ideas on what to do? Sorry if this is too long, but I really need advice, all the people I've been asking gave me advice that's a bit vague. Oh yes before I forget, I'm currently a sophomore in NYC. Also a bit more about me: introverted, quiet, like to read, browse through Reddit.
Also this is my first post so I apologize ahead of time if I break some of the laws of Reddit or if someone is annoyed about these type of questions. | I go to a college in NYC. Thinking about majoring in English, Psychology, Economics, or work in private sector. Don't know what to do in life. |
t3_1xzbus | offmychest | The world's worst closer... | Dear reddit, I am as of last night the world's worst closer. Seriously, last night, I was on a date with my crush. Yes, the one. We've known each other for three years, but on New Years Eve this year we started kissing. Or more accurately she started kissing me. We've met on several occasions after this, but never alone and nothing has ever happened since then. However, last night, I asked her out, and we went to the movies. We saw an horrible movie, the kind you don't see on Valentines day. It was a Norwegian horror-comedy movie called "Død Snø 2". Well during the movie, I felt kinda awkward about holding around her etc. The movie were all about killing zombies and showing as much blood and internal organs as possible. I asked her if she liked the movie, and surprisingly she said yes. After the movie we rushed to reach the bus back home.
There were never any awkwardness when we talked, but when I followed her to her door the awknardness came pretty fast. I don't know what happened, but I just hugged her, thanked her for the night and walked home. After that I just immediately facepalmed so hard. I know she is genuinly interested in me, and I'm pretty into her aswell. Why the f*** didn't I man up for once? Fuck me, reddit, fuck me. Thank you for reading, I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm out. We're both 17, in case you're wondering. | Went on a date with my crush. She is into me, I'm into her. I didn't man up. Fuck me. |
t3_37xd5f | tifu | TIFU by forgetting that eBay scams still exist | So this fu is still a work in progress, but regardless it's not one of my proudest moments.
I began looking for used cars that were relatively cheap but also as new and functional as possible. I came across (what seemed like) the perfect deal: a used 2008 model sedan that has less than 90k miles and only costed $2000. This seemed too good to be true.
It definitely was.
I contacted the owner through email, who began telling me that she needed to get rid of the car because she was an Army medic going on her tour to Afghanistan. I can't believe I bought into her sob story, but it all seemed believable as I was still blinded by the seemingly perfect offer.
Of course, I didn't suspect anything, and when she asked for my information in order to determine shipping costs (she so generously wanted to ship it to me) I gave her my home address.
I decided to google her info, nothing came up. Checked the car on eBay motors, nothing came up. Googled "eBay military car-" and didn't even get to finish typing before the next word that popped up was "scam". Turns out, there's a list of 50 other email accounts associated to the same story and situation I had to go through.
Now before everyone starts completely trashing me for doing so, I've already reported her email account for possible phishing/scam related actions. I don't suspect anything more will happen considering she doesn't have any other personal info about me, but yeah the whole sending my address part was a dumb move. | Believed an eBay scam that would get me a great car for cheap, now fearing that my house will be targeted...so pretty |
t3_4j6ig8 | tifu | TIFU by peeing on the bus | This happened literally a few minutes ago.
I'm travelling home by bus, and it's quite a long trip. I almost always remember to do my pooping and urenal business just before the bus ride, but today I was in a hell of a hurry and forgot to take a piss before stepping on the bus.
An hour went by and my urge to pee was unbearable. I know that the bus' bathroom is small and almost impossible to pee in. But I really had to pee, like really bad. So I did what I had to do and went in the bathroom. The door lock wasn't in the best condition but managed to lock it, or so I thought.
Pulled my fly down and started to do business, when suddenly..
*A HUGE BUMP*
I was losing my balance in the middle of the stream and leaned backwards hard against the door, which opened and I fell on my back.
So there I was, lying on the bus floor with my dick out, my pants and lower shirt covered in piss, everyone watching me in confusion.
Not my best Friday the 13th. Everyone's still watching me. | Fell on the bus floor while peeing because I lost my balance and the door opened when I leaned against it, which lead me covered in piss. |
t3_2sdh1f | tifu | TIFU by finally sleeping well | I haven't been sleeping well in the past weeks, sleeping at 7 am and waking up at 4 pm basically because it's the semestral break where I'm from. So, yesterday I had to go do something at 5am so I took a sleeping pill, slept at 2 am and woke up at 4. I do my thing and pick my girlfriend up at about 3pm. We went to watch this chick flick 'Love Rosie' and we drove up to my house after. At about 7 or 8 pm, I lie down my bed and decided that I'll nap a bit so that I'll have energy for whatever goes down later on. Then I have this nice dream. Then BAM. It's 11:30 in the morning, my girlfriend is gone and not answering my calls and texts. Bummer. I've been a stalker here for so long, now I fucked up. Fuck.
Edit | I took a nap while my girlfriend was in my place, I woke up the next morning, she's gone and ignoring me |
t3_3tyf3p | tifu | TIFU by learning how to defend myself | This happened two days ago only writing now because I was in the hospital with no computer. Being a small skinny guy I think to myself I should take some mixed martial arts classes, I can get buff, learn some cool moves to show off, and gain knowledge to defend myself. Well life decides to take a different route. So I show up for the class and we were learning ground fighting. Simple enough right? After learning how to properly fall to the ground our teacher moved onto take downs. The best way to learn is to see the move in front of you so the teacher uses me to show the class. He first grabs my leg and puts his head in my stomach to take me down. Everyone sees and trains this technique. Then we learn on how to counter this attack by creating a strong base with the leg he did not grab. Again we practice the counter move. Here is where it gets messed up. Now the teacher tells us how to counter this defense move. Once again using me as the test dummy. He goes in for the take down while I move my back leg to get a base, then he uses one hand to go towards my back knee to knock me down. Well it worked all right because his hand perfectly moved my knee cap out of the socket. Sweet Jesus it hurt. The funny thing was people thought I was joking until I pulled back my gym pants and everyone saw that my knee cap looked seriously injured. So an ambulance was called to take me to the hospital where they popped it back into to place. However, I am resistant to pain meds so they lifted me into the chair and popped it back into place while i felt every single nerve scream in pain. However, school is canceled this week ,due to thanksgiving, and now I can play Fallout 4 24/7 without anyone interrupting me. So WORTH IT!
Here is the pic Warning it is graphic. | Took martial arts class to know how to defend myself, teacher dislocated my knee. So now I get to play Fallout 4 all week long. |
t3_1n41zh | relationships | My girlfriend [20 F] thinks I [23 M] emotionally cheated, how can I get her to move on? | Ok so here's the background:
My current gf (I will call her Jill) and I have been dating for nearly 2 years and things are going extremely well. We are young but our relationship developed quickly and we are very serious about being together for the long haul. Now, like a year prior to meeting her I began (very randomly) messaging with a middle aged woman (that I will call Sally) that I ran across via a Facebook comment board. I wasn't planning on ever doing anything with this relationship, I pretty much just wanted to experiment to see what random internet sex messaging was like with a stranger. Pretty simple, college guy is lonely. Anyways, over time that conversation with Sally got to be almost like a pen pal thingy where we she would message me (she always messaged me first, never vice verse) periodically every few months to see how I am and so on, and I would respond and ask how she is but I would also still throw in some explicit comments here and there because that ended up just being how I conversed with this woman.
Ok now fast forward to three weeks ago and Jill ran across one of these messages I received from Sally when she was snooping around on my Facebook account one day and got really pissed. I can see how Jill was be pissed as this looks very strange having not been a part of the conversation with Sally all this time. Jill considers this emotional cheating after seeing my comments but it was never any way emotional for me. It was purely experimental. I never once even masturbated to the thought of Sally. Let alone want to have a secret emotional relationship with her. I have anything and everything I could ever want/need in Jill and I want to fix this so we can move on. This is my last hurdle to get over before settling in for a long and happy life with Jill. How can I convince her that I was not in any way emotionally cheating in her with Sally? Jill wants an explanation as to why I did what I did with Sally and I explained it was all experimental but she won't buy it. What are your thoughts? All of your help is appreciated! | Girlfriend thinks I emotionally cheated with a non-traditional Facebook pen pal and I want to explain to her that it's not true! |
t3_p247j | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I shave my ass and upper thigh area? Is there a way to prevent or slow regrowth of hair? | So, I'm not very hairy from the waist up. But my very lower back, ass, and upper thighs are really, really hairy. I'm 19, but this is a relatively recent development as I hit different parts of puberty at weird times. Normally, I wouldn't really care too much about this but there are now two concerns: I'm an a relationship for the first time in years, and as things get more physical I'm concerned that the body hair is pretty disgusting. Secondly, this is actually a kind of health issue, especially on my thighs. I tend to get a lot of ingrown hairs/acne, definitely in part due to the fact that I'm so hairy.
I have never shaved my ass/thighs, and I don't really have a male friend whom I could consult for advice on this subject. I could just start shaving away, but I'm worried about it simply growing back rapidly, or making things worse with more cuts, ingrown hairs, etc. Any suggestions appreciated. | Extremely hairy ass and upper thighs both disgusting/causing skin problems, how do I shave it and can I prevent/slow regrowth? |
t3_1g1rvj | dating_advice | Have I (23/F) screwed it up with (25/M)? | We've been dating for around a month. Have been getting on really well and he's said that he's never felt like this about a girl straightaway, he's never had such a laugh with a girl before, etc.
I'm a bit insecure after a bad breakup and having been messed around by a guy quite badly. I'm incredibly into this new guy and he invited me along to a gathering with lots of his friends over the weekend. Almost all of them seemed to know who I was and I know he's talked about me to lots of them. They were friendly but I was incredibly nervous and had a fair bit to drink (pretty much everyone else was drinking a lot too, except him as he had to work the same night).
It all went fine until we got home...I think the drink plus the fact that I had been very nervous beforehand and obviously felt a little bit awkward about being around lots of new people who all knew each other very well...led to me getting upset and crying quite a bit. I couldn't even really explain why to him.
He went to work shortly afterwards and got back in the early hours of the morning. The next morning we cuddled and he joked around about it and laughed that I had been drunk. On the surface everything seemed normal but I felt so embarrassed and apologised (he said not to worry and that it was fine).
He dropped me home and we haven't chatted since then (yesterday afternoon). It's not entirely unusual but I kind of thought that I might have heard from him. I messaged him a few hours ago and I can see that he's been online but not opened it (again not entirely out of the ordinary as he's at work, but I'm worrying after what happened and he's been online quite a few times).
I don't know what to think now. I know only time will tell, but I'm upset as, like I said, I really like him. I was just wondering if people might be able to tell me what they'd be thinking in his situation? | Been seeing a great guy, think I might have messed things up by getting drunk and emotional in front of him. What would you think if you were him? |
t3_1l9st3 | jobs | I have two positions lined up and I seemingly cannot tell which is going to be better until after the both train me. What's the most respectful way to handle this? | I'm 20 and in school. I have two positions and I believe I will only be able to keep one. They both begin training next week.
* Position 1 pays me less than minimum wage with the outrageous union dues (Unions already go against my morals, but I need a job). I would also have about 25 hours a week.
* Position 2 pays $11 per hour and I'd be working on my own. It does require travel, but it is within a 20 mile radius. Hours could range from 5-30 a week and I won't know until I start next week (i.e. after both companies will have paid for me to go through training).
Obviously I want to pick the one with the best balance between structure and pay without being disrespectful to the other. | I feel like giving either employer my 2 weeks after training is sleazy and I don't know how to go about it. |
t3_yi1by | dating_advice | What to do? | All right, I'll put this in a sort of timeline format to make it easier. I'm 22, he's 24.
* met guy a little less than a month ago
* hooked up twice, spent the night, only making out and cuddling. nothing else.
* texted through out the week after we met
* hung out one more time, with no kissing or anything, just talking
* met some of his friends
* he stops initiating conversations, so I start to initiate the texting
* asked him to hang out that week, he said he was working every day (likely was)
* he answers some texts, but not others. is always busy and doesn't seem to want to hang out
* his friends tell me that he is an extreme introvert and does the same things to them (ignoring them, saying he'll hang out and not showing, etc). he likes his alone time. Also that he is relatively inexperienced.
* I text him to see if I scared him away, and he says no
* begins ignoring me again
Basically, that brings us up to now. I've known him a little more than three weeks, and even though we've only hung out a few times, I'm really interested in him as we have a lot in common and I think he's very sweet. At first, he seemed super into me, too. Now though, I'm not so sure.
When I text him, he usually responds and it's not really one word answers or anything like that. There is usually a light conversation.
The past few days, I've had the urge to tell him I like him, or that I am at least interested in him. I don't want to play games, and I don't want to sit around waiting for something that may never happen. I want to find out so I can act accordingly. The thing is, I texted him yesterday and he never responded (granted, it was at like midnight when he had to work this morning). I text him once a day, at the most. Some days I don't text him at all.
This is where I need help. Should I waste my time? Should I tell him I'm interested? If so, how should I say it?! | met a guy three weeks ago, hit it off, he's ignoring me now, do I tell him I like him? |
t3_3vw949 | relationships | Me [23F] with my date [26 M] on, Emotional vs. Physical Connection | Hi so I am seeing this person and its been sorta brief, but I had a question about Emotional vs. Physical connection.
The guy I am seeing he claims that he feels connected emotionally when we talk and hangout, but when it gets physical he feels disconnected. Is that normal in the beginning of the dating process? I never thought about it up until he brought it up.
In the past of my relationships it was more physical than emotional. So I was wondering if I should start worrying or not. We make out a lot nothing else besides that.We five months ago tried dating , but rushed it. We crammed a (5 month relationship into 2 weeks). We broke a part because of that.
Now after a five month break we want to give it one more try and be slow about it. I know you build the emotional first but I am torn by all of this. | So to conclude this i want to know if I should worry about the physical disconnection that the guy I am dating is referencing. Should I worry? |
t3_2wefoc | relationships | Boyfriend [20 M] gets bouts of depression, and gets even more upset when I tell him how his behavior affects me [18 F] | My boyfriend gets regularly depressed. Maybe once a month, for what he says is no reason at all and is just hormonal. He says he has thoughts like walking in front of buses, and he tells me this nonchalantly. He thinks it's no big deal, he doesn't need help, and he'll feel better in time. Always does.
He's always cold and callous when he's depressed like this. I told him I felt like he didn't want or need to talk to me when he was upset and that bothers me. And he replied he's "not in the mood to cater to my needs."
He gets irritated when I tell him that I feel unappreciated, and he brushes off all my efforts to make him feel better.
I don't know how to deal with this really, and I want advice.
I'm angry more than anything, because he's so rude and inconsiderate even though he's 100% self aware. He knows there is no logical reason to be depressed, and he knows exactly what words and behaviors upset me, but he completely doesn't care. And he doesn't think it matters because it'll all be over soon! But it always comes back! And every time, he treats me poorly. | Boyfriend gets bouts of depression, and gets even more upset when I tell him how his behavior affects me. ( I usually make my titles a synopsis of my problems.. soo..) |
t3_johqy | AskReddit | What is your most horrifying memory that makes you groan or cringe when you think about it to this day? | When I was in high school, I often brought a flash drive to school to help me move files, work on homework, etc. One day I was in the computer lab finishing a lab report, and I accidentally left my flash drive behind. I later realized this and went back to find out if it was still there.
APPARENTLY, the band teacher had mistaken it for his own and plugged it in, saw from a file with my name on it that it was mine, and was giving it to the computer lab teacher to save for me. Just then I came through the door and saw him with my flash drive. "Ah!," I said. "My flash drive! You found it!"
He handed it over and chuckled with a wink. "Yeah, I eventually figured out it wasn't mine. The porn on there wasn't really my taste."
Boy did I chortle at his HI-LARIOUS porn joke. Classic band teacher. As I walked down the hall, however, my heart started beating incredibly fast and the horrifying realization that he may not have been joking came over me.
I ran to a different lab and plugged it in on a computer facing the wall. Sure enough, somehow I had left multiple galleries of porn in a folder on the drive. I'm a bit hazy on the details but there may have been a touch of tranny porn among the rest.
To this day, I'm not sure if that band teacher from high school made an easy flash drive joke, or if he had legitimately expressed his lack of preference for tranny porn while winking and nonchalantly returning it to me. Just typing this makes my head spin a little. | I left a flash drive with... non-traditional porn in a high school computer lab, the band teacher most-likely saw it, and winked while returning it to me. |
t3_3th1w4 | relationships | I'm unsure whether I [20/M] want to break up with my girlfriend [20/F] | Hi, I've been dating this girl for almost four years now and she's probably the best girl I've ever had. Lately I've been noticing that I sigh at days that she stops by or when we plan to meet up somewhere. I have a good relationship with her parents and even her grandmother, my family loves her too, probably more than I do at the moment.
We randomly met at a party and it turns out I'm her first boyfriend. We've been kept apart by her parents for god knows what reason and I think it just prolonged this situation, I had similar feelings after our 1,5 year of being together but I overcame it, i'm unsure whether I can again.
The problem I have in this relationship is that she's extremely clingy. I hang out with friends in the evening on some days of the week and she gets mad if I sometimes don't have an hour to just sit there and send texts before she goes to sleep. She wants me to text her at least every half hour even if we aren't actually talking about anything and it's extremely hard to finish any work of any sort. She's graduating next year and I'm scared she'll instantly want to move in here, so I don't have a lot of deciding time. | Have an amazing girlfriend, don't feel in love anymore, both are families are crazy about our relationship, should I try to get it back or break it off and how? |
t3_3beyl8 | relationships | I [16/F] can't tell if my crush [16/M] likes me back? | Hi!
I talk to one of my guy friends (friends for about 7/8 months ?) pretty frequently, and he's really sweet but I never really considered the possibility of him liking me.
(though I've been crushing on him for a while now)
For about a month he's been in his home country where he doesn't get very good signal. However, when he does, he texts me as much as possible.
Lately, however, I've noticed that he's been calling me "love"
(For example: "I miss you, my love." , "goodnight love." )
He's called me this before, but only once or twice.
Hi!
I talk to one of my guy friends pretty frequently, and he's really sweet but I never really considered the possibility of him liking me.
(though I've been crushing on him for a while now)
For about a month he's been in his home country where he doesn't get very good signal. However, when he does, he texts me as much as possible.
Lately, however, I've noticed that he's been calling me "love"
(For example: "I miss you, my love." , "goodnight love." )
He's called me this before, but only once or twice.
He's always been really sweet to me and compliments me and will FaceTime me for hours.
One of our mutual (also female) friends said that she noticed that he is way different towards me than her or anyone else.
(Is a lot more gentle and nice to me and talks to me more. He isn't mean or rude at all, in fact he's a little shy but she said that with her he typically only talks about like cars or makes small talk) | My guy friend is extra friendly to me and often calls me his love. Do guys normally do this or is he interested in being more than friends? |
t3_4z2kh2 | relationships | I [28 M] am paying off my debt faster than my fiance [28 F] is paying of hers. | I have seen many similar question about paying your SO's debt off and so on, but non answering my question.
Some background is my fiance [28 F] and I [28 M] have been together for 5 years and we both went to college and got bachelors and graduate degrees. I was more fortunate with getting scholarships than her but we both still graduated with student loan debt. We agreed long ago that our debt was our debt and we'll pay them off separately. I have always been an saver and once the reality of the student loan debt I had set in I was/am on a war path to pay it off. My fiance on the other hand is more of a spender and doesn't feel the same urgency to pay off her loans as quickly as me.
I am fortunate enough to have convinced her of the importance of being debt free and savings, in that she has cut spending. She has increased the amount of money that is going towards paying her debt off. The part that bothers me is she could be doing much more to expedite the debt payoff than she is and in the end I will have paid everything off and she will still have debt. So when it comes to saving for a wedding/house/whatever obviously I will be contributing much more than she. So when she spends money on something that doesn't seem necessary, I think down the road that that purchase is prolonging her inability to contribute to wedding/house/etc... When I think about it to much it just feels like a giant middle finger to my future self. Like this last minute trip is more important than helping with a big purchase.
I know even as I type this I am complaining about a relatively good situation and it could be much worse, but this does still irritate me. I was wondering if anyone has had any similar experience or has any nuggets of wisdom. thanks
We have almost the exact same salary if that is relevant. | I'm paying things off faster than my fiance. Should I be mad about this or is there something I should do to help? |
t3_1losdj | relationships | I[17M] have no idea if I should ask her[15F] out. | So basically I have no idea if I should ask this girl out. I've had 2 friends ask if her and I were a couple, and one of those hint with much doubt that she too was interested in a relationship.
My first concern is that I'm a senior and she's a sophomore and I'm not sure if this is okay socially, I know of one senior and sophomore relationship that has lasted though after the guy left for college.
My second concern is if she feels the same way. We don't talk to each other every day, usually every 2 days or couple days, but when we do we usually talk for 6 to 8 hours until about 12 to 1 a.m., sometimes as late as 4 a.m. Also when I went away for the summer for a summer program that disallowed technology we wrote letters to each other. In one she wrote "It's strange thinking about how much time will pass, not knowing when you'll get this letter, instead of just saying goodnight to you before I go to sleep." We've hung out outside of school together, but every time has been with other friends.
I've had 4 friends so far tell me to ask her out, but I'm unsure if I really should, likely because I'm over-thinking this. I'm not very good at picking up on this type of stuff, nor taking a risk without really knowing the result. | I'm not sure if I should ask a girl from school out because of grade difference and unsure if she feels the same way. |
t3_43ylld | relationships | I'm [23/f] and my ex [23/m] sent me song lyrics last night. | My ex broke up with me about a month ago. And we were together for almost a year. We had our fair share of arguments and differences so I've been trying to be okay with it, but the biggest problem is that nothing really bad happened for the break up to occur. He kind of just gave up on us because he didnt think I was happy with him.
I was hurt and confused for the longest time and I still struggle with missing him being mine. We've talked every now and than since the break up but last night he sent me the song lyrics to Cold by Crossfade. Basically in a nutshell it's a song about apologizing for the way someone is and how cold they were to you. How they didn't want to lose you but they have so many of their own struggles with themselves. | My ex sent me song lyrics apologizing for who he was to me. Why would he be sending me these lyrics a month after the breakup if he doesnt want me to feel that way about him anymore? |
t3_34yj4b | loseit | Working out for weight loss questions. | The past 14 or so months has seen me go from 425lbs to 275lbs. I have done this almost exclusively through large calorie deficits on a keto diet. However, I am at the point now where I would like to start introducing strength training and cardio into my plan.
A small gym location opened up near me that I am a member to, and they have the standard cardio equipment (treadmills, elliptical, bikes...) but due to the size, they have no weight machines and instead a free weight room.
I have some experience with weight machines, but none with free weights. I would love any advice from people here on what exercises I should be doing with free weights to help me lose weight and keep what muscles I have left after my large weight loss.
Bonus points if you have a list of what exercise to do on what days plan (or have a link to one you like). I respond very well to plans and seem to have better results when following one. | Tell me what free weight exercises I need to do to help me lose weight and keep muscle for a guy that's 275lbs with a goal weight of 175lbs. |
t3_3ba2o0 | relationships | 29[M] just lost a 2 year relationship with a 27[F] | My girlfriend just left me. She says its because I didn't pay enough attention to her, but she's been staying at some other guys house for the past week. I know I'm not perfect, but she never talked to me, or told me anything I was doing was bothering her. She was just gone. BAM!
She had 2 kids. I spent 2 years taking care of those kids. Providing them with a house, toys, paying for field trips, taking them to parks, zoos or wherever else we decided to go. Creating a bond with them. Being a fatherly figure, while their real father choose drugs over his own kids.
I'm sorry I just needed somewhere to vent. It's all over now. I saw the kids for the first time today since the break up. The youngest (6 years old) cam up to me and said "I heard I'm not going to see you anymore" then just have me a big hug. My heart broke.
I'm not good at this, talking about feelings and such. Apparwntly neither is she. Our relationship had been pretty rocky for a while, but I'm at a loss for words now that it's over. The hardest part for me are those kids. | You know your relationship is bad when you get more compliments from taco bell hot sauce packets than you ever got from a 2 year long relationship. |
t3_41bpnc | relationships | Me [30F], nervous as all hell, dating new guy [35 M] | Hi Reddit, new poster here. Some background info: Me, 30, very shy and conservative woman here. Have dated in the past, but primarily one guy for a long time. That didn't work out, have been on a few dates here and there, but haven't had anything to speak of in several years.
Met new guy, we're coming from very similar backgrounds; have been getting to know each other slowly via text for a few months, he asked me several times about getting together for dinner and we just kept having schedule conflicts. Finally had dinner followed by coffee, and hit it off really well. Date (he referred to it as a date so there's no miscommunication there) lasted 3.5 hours, only ended when it did because starbucks was closing lol. We just hit it off amazingly well. End of the night came, I realized he might kiss me, got scared and kind of gave him a big hug and ran off like a flustered 15 year old :(. I think he knew I was just nervous vs not interested, just what I perceived.
We have plans to go to a movie in a few days. I'm not really the 'take the lead' type, but I'd almost rather just take the reigns so that I know when it's coming and I don't freak out and ruin my own chances. Or ruin my chances by doing nothing and coming off as uninterested. Was thinking something super conservative like initiating a kiss on the cheek.....I wanted to somehow make it clear that although we are both very shy and conservative, that it's just nervousness vs non-interest. If I weren't interested I wouldn't be kissing even his cheek. I wouldn't be going out to dinner with the guy and wasting both our times. Also throw in the mix that I think some guys might not like the woman to be the initiator and I don't know this guy well enough to know his stance on that yet. Anyway, looking for a clear but gradual way to break the physical barrier. So here I am turning to the internet for advice. Thoughts? | Super shy/conservative woman, met great guy probably equally or almost equally shy/conservative. Want to be clear in my interest without overstepping. Save me reddit. |
t3_545kaq | relationships | My [19 M] girlfriend [19 F] got mad at me for not walking her home | My girlfriend of 8 months got mad at me last night because I didn't walk her home from her friend's house.
I worked 5 PM to 1 AM last night at the university my girlfriend and I both attend. My girlfriend went to a concert with a friend of hers at the same time. My girlfriend invited me and my coworker to hangout with her and her friend after work at friend's apartment and smoke.
My coworker could not come so I told my girlfriend that I would just go back to my place to sleep and that we could hang out tomorrow instead.
When my girlfriend left her friend's apartment she texted me saying "now I have to walk home", so I invited her to come to my place or offered to walk her home. She said she would just walk home and then we had a long conversation over text where I would repeatedly offer to come meet her to walk her home and she repeatedly didn't give me an answer of what she wanted.
Once she was home she texted me about how she doesn't want to have to ask me to do stuff for her and how it'd just be nice if I showed up to walk her home. She said it was common sense.
I do not think it is common sense to get out of bed and go walk her home from a friend's house that I was not at. I walk her home from my apartment back to hers (10-15 min) every single time she comes over without being asked.
Who is in the right here? Is this something that I should have known was expected of me? | Girlfriend got mad at me for not walking her home from her friend's house at 2 AM. I was not at friend's house and had just worked from 5 PM to 1 AM. |
t3_38mdw7 | relationships | [17M] won't text after telling me [17F] that he had a crush on me?, not yet dating | We're both in high school. We had a class together this year, and I had a crush on him throughout the entire year. I had this feeling that he had a crush on me also, because I would catch him looking over at me. We're both fairly quiet, so there wasn't much conversation other than some awkward small talk. A few weeks ago, I decided to confess to him, because the summer was coming up and I knew that it was now or never (we would both go off to separate colleges at the end of the summer). I told him of my feelings for him, and he responded with similar feelings. We would text each other for a bit, again mostly awkward small talk. When I would see him in class, we would act like nothing has changed from pre-confession.
At first, the texts were going as I had imagined it would. We were just getting to know each other. But then, all of a sudden, he starts texting one word answers, and doesn't try to keep the conversation moving.
Is he not interested, despite what he told me before? Why isn't he texting me back after he told me that he has a crush on me? Why won't he ask me out? | Shy girl confesses to shy boy, boy reciprocates feelings. At first things were alright, but why won't he text back as much or ask me out? |
t3_3dlt6l | relationships | I[18M] am moving to college and am wondering whether sticking with my [16F] girlfriend is the choice I should make. | Before we start off, the relationship is completely platonic(non-sexual, but affectionate/intimate). We are both virgins, and it will remain that way for at least the foreseeable future. I've met her parents, and they're cool with it, as are all parties that know/have anything to do with it. Also, the college I will be living at is an hour away.
I'm moving away to college in late September. When I asked her out about 3 months ago, I knew this, and I'd previously expressed to her during our friendship that I really wasn't interested in dating senior year because I was moving away, etc. She has also expressed as much expectation of a breakup to at least one mutual friend, which I heard about at a social gathering because the friend doesn't keep things to herself well.
I changed everything about the way I approached relationships with her because I knew I did wrong in the past. I asked her out in person, I use texting as a tool primarily to set up instances of real life contact instead of a cringey, emoji filled conversation platform, and I brought a lot more confidence to the table in terms of physicality and conversation skills.
Needless to say the relationship is going well. We don't fight except jokingly when we're on dates, there is no need to text each other every 5 seconds to maintain the relationships. We have fun when we're together, and do whatever on our own when we're not.
I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made previously - becoming clingy and planning a future with someone I've only dated for a few months.
I feel like college should be a place where I can experience everything fully. I really like her, but I don't want to go in with half my heart stuck in a town I no longer live in.
Do you have any advice for me? Perhaps a game plan? I've still got probably ~3 weeks worth of time throughout summer which I'll be able to communicate anything important to her before school starts, and another month and a half until I move. | Girl I asked out expecting to break up with before moving to college is working out way too well, and I'm not sure if I should break ties before I leave or try to maintain the relationship. |
t3_2zu13h | relationships | Me [18F] with my "friend" [21M] why cant i get over him? This is so unhealthy | the other day i told him I didn't want to go anywhere with him because I didn't feel like being used bc it seems like he's only interested in me when I'll make out or do sexual things with him.
I regretted it after i said t, even though it's how i feel. Has he taken me out? Twice...to the movies. But he would touch my leg during the movie and bring up how we had plans to do it in a hotel in the future.
I slept with him a week ago, which i regret because i didnt see or hear from him until 2 days after. It obviously didnt register as a big deal to him.
But what's hurting me the most is the fact that he didnt deny it after i told him how i felt about being used. He acted offended and said he was surprised to hear me say something like that.
I dont have a lot of friends right now and over the past couple of months he has become a big part of my life. How i feel is very complicated: for one, i feel hurt, but i also feel like i need closure and at the same time icant stop thinking about him.
He hasnt tried texting or calling me, and i keep wanting to bump into him, but at the same time im upset with him and i want to forget him and move on with my life. | how do you move on from a guy you like but dont like anymore, who's no good for you but you can't get him off your mind, who seems to not really care, when you feel like you need closure? :( |
t3_pjf7c | AskReddit | Lost in the Wilderness between Chrome and Firefox. Is there any way out? | I've been using Firefox for years. I used to love it. I had it set up *perfectly* with toolbar buttons to open the downloads window, zoom controlls and toggles for my various addons. I had a dream team of adblock plus and flashblock which meant I was never pestered with crap. Occasionally flashblock would fuck with some webpages, but to disable it took only one click. It was heaven. Only, it could be a little sluggish.
So I decided to download Chrome. Chrome is like a whippet, it is deadly fast and super lean. I have none of my old friendly toolbar buttons, if i want to see what i've downloaded i have to press ctrl+j or God forbid, navigate through menus. I do have Flashblock and Adblock plus but I find they work less perfectly than their Firefox cousins (Youtube ads abound) and if I need to temporarily disable one, more bullshit menu navigation. It does however have a very useful feature where you can close all tabs to the right of any given tab.
My problem is this, when I use Chrome, the internet is faster but the little annoyances combine to make for a less perfect browsing experience. When I use Firefox it's like climbing into an old comfy pickup truck with the perfect sized cupholders, your favourite cushion and your trusty dog by your side, but it sure can lumber along at times.
Surely I can't be the only one who feels like this. Are there any redditors who can offer me advice or support in these dark times? | FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: MY SPACE AGE INTERNET MACHINE WON'T BEND EXACTLY TO MY WHIMS |
t3_v82uh | jobs | I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle whilst trying to quit my job. | June 1 I submitted my letter of resignation, to resign August 1. This would give both myself and my employer time to find alternate employment/employees.
Well, the managing partners basically told me no, I couldn't quit, and that they'd do anything they could to keep me.
It wasn't about money, I didn't ask for a raise or anything. It was a workload/stress issue. I ended up asking for a 4 day work week for a little while, and a summer student to do scanning/copying/other mindless tasks that I have piling up. I offered to take a pay reduction for the 4 days, but they insisted on paying me and said to take as long as I need to.
I really like the people that I work with, but I don't enjoy the work (that's why they call it work though, right?). I just took my first Friday off last week, and the girls all seem cold toward me today. Maybe I'm being sensitive, but I'm sensing some hostility. No one knows that I'm getting paid for the day off. | stressed out and tried to quit my job, went down to 4 day weeks. Other staff seem to be pissed about that, and they haven't done anything to provide me with the additional staff member they said they would. |
t3_1mf11i | offmychest | Me and the love of my life's single problem.. | We're only seniors in high school.I found the single most beautiful, amazing and wonderful girl I could've ever even imagine. She is one of those people who all they have to do is look at you and I just smile. Its the perfect little love story; went to the same school since kindergarten, cheerleader for a year and a varsity athlete, both been through a lot.. It's amazing. We were talking for well over a year until she finally wanted to make us official, and we've been together for almost half a year now and it's just as perfect as when we first started talking. I love her more than anything in the world and she does too, which I completely believe (I used to have MAJOR trust issues) and we even planned out the rest of our life together and it seems so real. Hell, the first time I talked to her I just felt like she was special. But.. We're seniors in high school.
I always hear stories about high school sweethearts and how they've been together for like 50 years and all of that, but we can't really tell anyone about this because we both know what everyone would say. It would all range from, "yeah right" or "he/she is just saying that to fuck you" and things like that. And keeping this practically between us is killing me. If I could I would marry her right now. But agin.. We're only in high school.
I don't care if anyone on here believes this is real or not or if they believe in finding their true love and staying with them since high school, I just can't keep this in anymore. I love her so much and knowing that only a few people believe that we really want to be together forever is a little hard because they're discouraging as fuck. But this is something I've never felt before, and it consumes my thoughts everyday. She is my best friend, and I want to marry her one day, and ill do anything to always make sure she has a smile on her face, even if it means that I have to be miserable. I don't care.. I love her. | I'm in love with my girlfriend and we want to be together forever, but no one believes that we're for real because we're 17 years old. |
t3_3i0xdu | relationships | Me [23F] dated my ex [23 M] for over a year, who just starting hanging out with his ex again | I dated my best friend for a little over a year until it weirdly ended after graduation. Like strange, barely talked about this breakup it just went away "due to distance". He kept it open ended and said "maybe when we are in closer distances it can work out" Long story short now a YEAR LATER, he is living 30 minutes from me and I haven't seen him. He still texts me EVERY SINGLE DAY. he thinks we are BFFs again. Yet won't be irl friends?
So we have been so-called friends again for about a year now. He refuses to hang out though. And then recently, through social media, I noticed he's been hanging out with his "horrible, cheating, dirt bag" ex again. But not telling me about it. I didn't like the girl in the first place since I only heard bad things. I thought i was completely over all of it and him but seeing his ex pop up again knocked the wind out of me.
I cannot seem to move past it. I cannot stop thinking about anything else besides this. I haven't addresses it with him but I think it would be crossing a line since we aren't dating or anything. But it is so mentally distracting and hurtful that I am afraid it is going to mess with my studies once graduate school starts again. How do I move on from this? I thought this was so far in the past, but it feels like I've been newly dumped. Everyone says he's a douchebag (like in general not even in relationships) yada yada but I cannot seem to look at him that way. I don't know how I'm going to get over something I didn't even know would be a problem. | Ex of over a year is back hanging out with his horrible ex. I feel heartbroken even though I thought I was over it. Please help SOS send ice cream&puppies |
t3_2nl4pi | relationships | Ex-Girlfriend [23 F] left Me [23 M] after 2.5 years, before she went on a 3 week vacation and right after I lost my Job... Feeling discarded | Like the title says we had been together for 2.5 years. two weeks ago I lost my Job due to downsizing and was feeling really down because of the whole situation. She was there helping me feel better then 5 days later boom, I don't love you anymore and I've been feeling this way for about a month and a half, I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I asked her if she wanted a break and she said no there was no point. Two days later shes off to Thailand with a female friend for 3 weeks.
We had been awesome together, she was my first long term girlfriend, while she had had a few before me. We hung out all the time went out multiple times a week. Her family liked me a lot, I even hung out with them a few times on golf trips and things like that. She honestly felt like the one, and this just seems completely out of the blue, She never once mentioned any of this to me within the last month. I'm just getting over the Shock of both situations now, and starting to get those feelings of anxiety and missing her, and not thinking I'll be able to meet anyone else...
I thought long and hard about it and I don't think I want her back even if she come back... I'm just feeling really used and discarded right now, like the last 2.5 years meant nothing. I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to move on? | Girlfriend left me out of the blue before her vacation. Starting to feel lonely and used, I don't know where to go from here or how to move on. |
t3_4qi8bd | relationships | How do I[M26] "break up" with a girl[F25] who lives on the other side of the world? | I've been using OkCupid for a while. I've gotten a few dates, nothing really came out of them. Well, one day I get a completely random message from a girl in Thailand. I assume it's a scam or spam, but I respond anyway. To my surprise, she's real: just a lonely Thai girl who wanted to talk to an American guy. We keep chatting, and eventually move the conversation to a message app.
We keep talking pretty regularly. She sends me pictures of Thailand, I send her pictures of America. It's pretty cool talking to someone on the other side of planet. We also flirt pretty heavily, but nothing more considering the fact that we will never ever meet in person.
Meanwhile, I'm still using OkCupid. I meet another girl, and this one lives in the same city as me. We go on a date and really hit it off. I've gone on two more dates with American Girl and it seems like this one is going somewhere.
So my question is, how should I break it off with Thai Girl? We never had any sort of relationship; I'd classify us as flirty pen-pals at most. It doesn't seem right to just stop talking to her all of a sudden though, and it also doesn't seem right to keep talking to Thai Girl while I'm for-real dating American Girl. What's the nicest way to end it? | I need to stop chatting with a flirty penpal because I'm for-real dating a girl who actually lives near me. |
t3_4jimnp | Advice | Rejected from my dream job, lost all confidence | For the last 3 years I've wanted to be an officer in the United States Air Force. I graduated college last year, and filled out an application for the Officer Training School board only to be rejected. Since graduation, I've been rejected from jobs left and right, including one as a technical writer among countless of missed sales positions. I'm at my wits end.
I feel like these OTS boards were my last to salvage any form of self confidence. I fully dedicated myself to studying at my university, but I'm not very bright and could only manage a 3.66 in two arts majors despite my complete devotion to school. I made Deans List every semester and have great letters of recommendations from several very good professors, but it still isn't enough for enough. My future used to seem so bright, and I felt like I could really make something out of myself but I don't see it anymore. I wanted to be a lawyer, but I've recently fallen out of love with that industry due to all of the "political" circumstances that surround it. I saw myself serving as an officer for 4-8 years and then going on to law school, but I don't think anything like that is going to happen.
This rejection has crushed me, and I feel completely deflated. It sucks having to hear everyone talk about how organizations want "the whole person" to be in their ranks, because I feel like a shell of a human being.
Matters like this are pretty black and white despite what anyone says: They either want you or they don't. You are either have what it takes, or you are just not up to par. I've had people tell me: "you can try again later, you were so close." Well if they didn't want me now, why would they want me then? If it was a small class, then why they chose hundreds of people over me? If I have so much to offer, then why do i keep getting rejected? | Have been rejected from everything, rejected again, why should I believe that it's going to be any different for me going down the road? |
t3_1hlg77 | relationships | My[23M] boyfriend broke up with me [24M] after three years because he found someone else. | We met online three years ago, we immediately hit it off. Our first date was actually just supposed to be a hang out but we both quickly realized we liked each other a lot. My parents kicked me out after finding out about this, so I was rushed and we moved in together after 4 months (not something I'd normally do).
After living together for six months we decided it would be best that we both go back to school. We agreed to do long distance and it worked remarkably well for two years. Every trip to see each other was exciting and we were both happy together. I got really close to his family, and he got really close to mine, we both liked each others friends. We tried to make as much as possible of the little time we had together.
This spring semester I felt him being distant. He would tell me it was just the stress of work and school and I believed him. I was also preoccupied with my finals and LSAT prep so I was admittedly distracted. One week after I took the LSAT he drove up to me to tell me he met someone and that he sees a passion for arts and philosophy in him that he found very appealing.
I was heartbroken and confused but I thought the best course of action was to remain positive and try to be respectful of his decision. I told him I understood why he was doing it and while I didn't personally agree I respected his decision. We both agreed that we care too much for each other to disappear from each others lives and would like to attempt a friendship. Afterwards I spoke to his family and friends that I cared for and they all tell me I'm handling it better than expected. I realized that he's determined in his decision and being aggressive would only push him away, but I can't help but feel like he's making a huge mistake. Should I let him go, or should I wait a couple months and if I still feel the same way do I tell him that he can either have me as a boyfriend or not at all? | One year living together, two years distance. Both loved every minute of it, but meeting this new guy made him want to leave me. What do I do? |
t3_4cwk3z | relationships | Anxiety and Rage between me [26 M] and my girlfriend [33 F] of one and half years | I moved to a new state a year and a half ago and almost immediately met a girl here that I started dating. We quickly fell into a routine: she has the better apartment so I spend my weekends over at her place, I have the better paying job so I tend to pay for all of our activities and food. We typically just watch TV together (she is a complete TV Addict), nothing too extravagant.
Things went well for the first few months. Our first fight happened after a business trip, something that I failed to plan for delayed me being about to see her for an additional day when I returned. She spent a solid hour blowing up my phone with text after text about how stupid and careless I am. This used to be a rare occurrence; but her rage fits have been increasing in frequency.
She makes less than 200 a week, she is incapable of keeping an apartment clean, she can't handle stress or adversity, and has high anxiety and a need to control her environment. As a result she has been unhappy pretty much since I met her (she occasionally thanks me for being the one good thing in her life), and it is getting worse. The obvious side effect being that she takes it out on me, trying to control my behavior and frequently crying or yelling when that fails.
So, what is the best course of action? Recognize her behavior as a reaction to external stressors: Keep some distance, but keep the relationship going? Or should I recognize this as her essential reaction to adversity and view this as break-up criteria? What are some other points of view? | Girlfriend used to be (actually, still is) sweet, but her life has gotten shittier, leading to a lot of tension in the relationship: including constant nagging/criticism and persistent defensive behavior. |
t3_2tcnk5 | relationships | Me [22F] with my ex [23F] of 2 years, Broken up - wondering if I should return her some of the things she gave me | * | Got dumped, she found someone else shortly after, wondering if I should or shouldn't mail her all the things (that carried sentimental value to us) she gave me. |
t3_pv4l0 | self | To Leave or Not to Leave... | I am a college student nearing graduation with promising job offers but am I wrong to think I'd be better off leaving the U.S. (Not feasible at this time but in the future)? As a nation we seem to be isolated from the rest of the world (TIME articles targeting legitimate world subjects while we receive 'Animal Companions') and our legislature is unable to function let alone consider the interests of anyone besides the wealthy. Congress can't even pass the STOCK Act that would require them to follow the same insider trading laws that all citizens abide by because our legislators are too busy enjoying manipulating markets and increasing their earnings as a result. As a young adult (with admittedly less knowledge compared to others) I realize our Congress is bought by special interest groups, Presidential candidates are bought by political action committees, and I love the foundations of our nation but it is clear this is no longer a government for the people by the people and I see no progress being made towards leveling the playing field. Call me a pessimist but with the amount of money in politics I can't see things improving without drastic measures. | Corrupt U.S. politics (duh) and I want to leave the U.S. but I'm sure I'm not the only one. |
t3_46ifc1 | personalfinance | Mint.com budgeting "Left over in budget?" | I recently joined mint.com, love it so far for tracking my spending and helping me finally get a grip on how much I spend on what. One question though, there is a section that says amount left over. That is money I have not budgeted to anything else. Down at the bottom, there is "everything else" which is money i've *spent* but haven't budgeted. As "everything else" increases does "amount left over" decrease, or do I have to keep everything else< amount left over? It's tough for me to tell since I do have some money in my checking acct saved so i'm not in danger of over drafting, yet. | 300 left over for this month. 150 spent on everything else so far. Can I spend 150 without going into the red for the month, or 300? |
t3_2f0cns | relationships | My [19 M] girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, cannot shake the thought of wanting to break up no matter what she or I try. | Problems began last year when after a "break" (both had different definitions of what it was and as such I lost some trust in her,) and since then we were not sure what was happening for a couple of weeks and then called it quits for a period of 3 months. During that time I tried to get her back (a lot) but she didn't want to be back in a relationship. Then I stopped talking to her for a week and she jumped back in my arms because me not being there finally hit her and everything I told her finally made sense to her.
We've been back together for 3 months and it's been happy times with minimal hiccups until recently, when she was busy for 2 weeks and we couldn't see each other or talk online much. That lead to a lot of frustration from us both and last week both our heads were in break up mode. I quickly got over this once I realised how stupid I was being because I really really like this girl, but she can't seem to shake the feeling that it's easier to just not be in a relationship.
We went to a concert 2 nights ago together and tonight she came over and I cooked dinner and planned to watch a movie but she went out with another friend after dinner. She made me a promise that we would hang out again Thursday, but I am scared that Thursday will just become break up talks.
I know that we are both young and we've had problems before but I really want her in my life right now, no matter what you more experienced beings may think I should do!
I'm wanting to know if anybody has advice to get over this mindset that she is in and what I can do to help. I would also like to know if this relationship is too broken to continue, and if there is anything we can do to build each others trust because we both have small issues in that department which is keeping us from moving forward.
Thank you in advance for the help! | Had some problems in the past; had a busy couple of weeks and my girlfriend thinks it would just be easier for us both if we break up and cannot escape this mindset no matter how hard she tries and I cannot help it. |
t3_2meg6m | relationship_advice | Should I (24/m) express my feelings to my coworker (25/f) | I recently landed a great job working with people I love to be around. One girl in particular caught my attention from day one. She's like me in female form. We've had awesome long talks that have shown me just how much our values are aligned. We've hit it off so well in the last 4 months, but it's maintained much of a friend vibe.
Under normal circumstances this would be an easy decision. The friend vibe would make it clear that my affections aren't reciprocated. But this girl has expressed to me more than once that she doesn't express her feelings like a normal girl does, and is more guarded with them. She does show tiny little glimpses of what I take as affection.
Should I express my feelings to her? How should I go about it? | i like a girl i work with. im not too sure if it's a two way street. what should i do? |
t3_2srh0k | tifu | TIFU by getting road head | Old story but it came up today.
About a year ago the ex and I decided to drive to the nearest casino. With it being a 3 hour drive, we where in the car for a while. She decides to make it interesting and says she wants to blow me. Typical male that I am, I quickly agree. A little while later the deed was done and we arrive at the casino.
It is about 8PM so it is pretty dark. As I walk in I notice everyone starring at my crotch. As I look down I see my pants covered in lady face makeup. Nothing I could do but make a walk of shame to the bathroom in a attempt to get all this guilt sauce off my pants. | Ex wears a fuck ton of make up and gives me road head while wearing black pants. Walk in to everyone noticing what happened. |
t3_1svwru | relationships | I'm [22 F] having trouble getting over my ex-fiance even though I'm the one who ended the relationship | My ex-fiance and I dated for two years and were engaged for six months. Over the course of a year, I developed feelings for someone else. I struggled with this for a long time and tried everything to make it work with my ex-fiance and try to get over the guy I had feelings for. After a year of struggling with these emotions I decided that if I was feeling this way I wasn't ready to get married. There were other factors that went into my decision to end the engagement as well.
It's been ~4 months and I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful guy, but I'm having trouble getting over my ex still. Ironically and unfairly, I'm also having trouble accepting the fact that he's dating and sleeping with other women. I don't want my ex back or crave his friendship and yet I still think about him everyday, I still get sad/upset, and the worst part is that I keep having reoccurring dreams of meeting his new girlfriend.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get over an ex-fiance and has anyone had an experience like this? How long did it take you to get over your ex? | I don't want my ex back and I don't want to be friends with him, but I'm still having trouble getting over him and I was the one who ended the engagement. |
t3_49cdui | relationships | Did I[22M] make the right decision by breaking it off with my GF[20F] of just over a year? | I just broke up with my girlfriend that I've been dating for 1 year and a bit and now I'm not so sure whether I made the right decision.
She's the type of girl that you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with but the reason I broke it off was because I just couldn't do it anymore.. I work 2 jobs, 7 days a week, have a massive amount of debt and also am going university part-time. We don't see each other very often as I barely have any time but she would always go out of her way to spend time with me which I greatly appreciated.
The reason I broke it ff was because I felt as if I was holding her back as she could of been with someone who truly appreciated her and could spoil her in ways I could never of have. All she asked from me was for me to be committed to the relationship but I couldn't do that, I didn't want to make a promise I possibly can't keep. We didn't have any major fights but when one did come up, I got scared. I just wanted to be single again and just not deal with arguments.
Just some background info, my previous ex pretty much screwed up my views of relationships. I dated my ex for over 3 years and I gave up so much for her. I lost most of my friends and I was failing classes as I gave up most of my time to see her, which in turn she dumped me for one of my 'friends'. Pretty much explains my commitment issues.
Right now I'm just focusing on fixing my grades in uni, and trying to pay off my debt.
But now I'm not so sure whether I fucked up big time by letting her go... | Broke it off with my gf of 1 year, have commitment issues from previous relationship and just trying to focus on good grades/pay off debt. |
t3_3110q0 | relationships | I (M/17) recently broke things off with my gf (F/19) of two years. Need some break up advice. | Hi! So, about two or three weeks ago i broke up with my girlfriend of two years, because we became toxic and i was no longer happy. We had tried and tried to fix things, but it just wasnt getting better. The break up wasnt wanted by both of us, just me.
It hasnt been too bad, honestly the worst part is over, i think, not too sure. Ive never had to deal with a break up before, all my other relationships have been like a month or less. Im not constantly depressed or anything, but in the past week, usually late at night, ill get really upset. Like, the person that my world revolved around for two straight years is no longer around, i believe its for the best, but it still hurts.
Im not a very social person, i have 3 or 4 good friends, and soon we'll all be going in different directions for college and what not. The person i talked to all day everyday is no longer here, and im scared. Im scared of how lonely im going to be, im not going to know how to deal with it. Im scared of meeting some one new, i usually dont know what to say to new people when having a conversation, like im not bad in the sense of just not talking, but i feel like im not really interesting. The only reason me and my ex got together was because she was extremely talkative, and always knew how to strike up another conversation when the current one died, and because of that i was able to get comfortable around her and be myself.
I know im really young, but this is seriously worrying me. What if i never aqcuire the social skills needed to find a girlfriend? How can improve my social skills? Make myself more interesting, someone that people will talk to once or twice and want to talk to again and not think im as boring as a sack of rocks? | How can i cope with the loneliness that comes with a breakup, and how can i improve my skills in meeting new people? |
t3_xfos7 | AskReddit | How can we handle a bartender that harasses us for no reason? We love this bar! | How can we handle a bartender that harasses us for no reason?
My friends and I love our neighborhood bar. It has amazing an amazing patio, good drink, good atmosphere and plenty of attractive (not superficial) girls. We're very polite, tip very well, and have never gotten hammered or out of line.
Sometimes the patio is full so we must sit at the bar, which is fine but one of the bartenders is unimaginably rude. He eavesdrops on our conversations and makes comments, directly talks shit to us for no reason. I would go so far to say that he is downright cruel to a *ginger* friend of mine. He's trying to bait us into retaliation so he can kick us out.
The other day we were about to leave so we offered our seats to some girls standing at the bar. One girl struck up conversation with me, so of course I obliged while we finished our last beer. Said bartender walks by and sees I'm talking to a girl and yells, "TAKE A FUCKING HINT! SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!"
Needless to say both the girl and I were caught off guard and felt uncomfortable.
Reddit, we love this bar. All the other staff is amazing. How can we deal with this situation? | We're very polite, tip very well, never been out of line at our favorite neighborhood bar. One bartender is rude and cruel especially to my ginger friend. How can we handle the situation?* |
t3_2lim1m | relationships | I [30/F] didn't know marriage was going to be this hard with my husband [33/M] of 3 years. | We have been together for 7 years and married for 3 years, at first it was great. Then I had health problems and didn't have a sex drive, it got really hard, he said we were in a failing marriage. I got help, we got better, for a bit.
For the past year he has been the one with no sex drive. We will have it once a month maybe. We have done counseling and everything and we do communicate better, except on the sex issue. He always says he will try but nothing ever happens. He refuses to go to the doctor or even talk about it.
I am now feeling so much resentment because when I was the one not wanting sex it was a failing marriage, but since it's him this time, I'm suppose to just deal with it. He doesn't really kiss me or hug me anymore unless I ask for it. I know he isn't cheating, sadly I have already snooped. He doesn't even watch porn anymore.
I feel increasingly lonely every day. I have cried myself to sleep at night, I stress about this constantly. It's hard to love someone that doesn't show that they love you back. I'm hurt, angry, and confused. Is this normal? Is marriage suppose to suck this bad? I mean, I knew it was work, but aren't the good times suppose to outweigh the bad?
When I have tried to talk to him about it, he always says he's trying. He also likes to throw in that we said for better or for worse and that if we were to ever not work out he would never speak to me again, I just don't know how to take anything anymore. | Hubby doesn't want to have sex or any physical contact really, is this normal for marriages? How long am I suppose to deal with this? |
t3_11y3gn | relationships | Used and confused... | My partner (30F) and I (27F) have been together almost 3 years. Usual story: in the beginning it was wonderful, then things happened and everything went to shit. She had a meltdown because I lost a ring that was important to her. I didn't want to wear it in the first place because I have a tendency to lose jewelry. But she insisted. And then tortured me for days about losing it, eventhough I apologized profusely and literally looked everywhere for it. How much more humiliating can it get than crawling around the last store I went to just before close? Since then, it's like nothing's the same. She ignores me and then expects me to treat her like a queen. I've bought her a vehicle, clothes, jewelry, flowers, etc. I leave her love notes. I cook for her. I try to take her places she expresses interest in. But nothing. We haven't been intimate (not just sex...no cuddling, no nothing) in months. She says she's "trying to be better about it..." but I don't see how ignoring me for months is trying. Anybody? | I feel like my partner is using me. I provide for her and try to meet her needs, but it just doesn't seem like my efforts are being reciprocated. |
t3_3o05c4 | relationships | I [23M] have to see my ex [21F] multiple times per week and it's constantly setting me back | To start:
The relationship was a tumultuous, intense, and codependent three months. The moment we started dating she moved into my apartment, and we had all classes and study time together, so it was a 24/7 environment.
She has a lot of issues I don't need to really get into, but she was diagnosed as a narcissist by a psychologist, and looking back it's painfully obvious. Selfishness, self entitlement, and a total lack of interest in me as a person were cornerstones of the relationship.
I stuck with it because before we got together I was lonely, and she was into the same things I was, sexually. We're both very kinky, so it just fit, and that was the only time we ever could agree. Fights fell away once we got to the bedroom, but were never resolved.
Regardless she broke up with me while we were driving across the country together, and I then spent the summer alone on the opposite side of the country from family and friends. I told her not to contact me in any way, which she didn't, but we have class together, so I knew that would come to an end.
I got back to school and was immediately stressed out and anxious. She asked if we could talk to get rid of the "awkwardness" in which time she left hints of all the guys she slept with over the summer (I should mention before we dated she was sleeping with multiple people per week). Honestly the entire conversation felt her rubbing in how awesome her life is without me, and how much I held her back...from casual sex?
I saw a therapist on the east coast, and I'm starting with one over here, but I don't know how to not feel anger and hatred when I see her. She tormented me through the relationship, and obviously showed I didn't mean anything to her. I want to stop caring, and I want to move the hell on. | I see my ex multiple times per week, and it causes me huge stress and anxiety, how do I cope and move forward? |
t3_in4av | cats | NEED HELP! - Any Tricks to get a frightened Cat to come out of hiding? | Story: My girlfriend is cat-sitting for a friend. She took the cat in 5 days ago. This cat is easily frightened and the moment the friend left for vacation, the cat ran away and went into the basement. We have searched the basement and can not find the damn cat. We did go to her place late at night and saw the cat in her room upstairs, which then it ran back downstairs and we went after it and lost it again.
Does anybody know any good tricks to get a cat to come out of hiding? We have tried putting canned food (tuna) out for the cat, but it hasn't taken the bait yet. Also, it seems to come out at night when there is no activity. The only thing I can think of is waiting for it to com at an opportune moment.
Any suggestions would help. | Girlfriend is watching a friend's cat. Cat is missing in a house with no way to get out. Cat has been spotted late at night, but runs away. suggestions? |
t3_4051kz | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of less than two months, he's clingy and I'm uncomfortable | This guy and I had been friends for a few years but were never single at the same time. I've always liked him a lot as a person but haven't been super attracted to him, but we both got out of relationships at the same time relatively recently and decided to hang out- it ended in us hooking up and his admitting that he'd always liked me. We started dating causally, which I enjoyed a lot, but as finals approached and I found that he expects much more of my time than I can give- hours every day!
He and I are both depressed, and he was supportive of me when I went through a bad epsiode, but I am doing a lot better through some healthy lifestyle changes and he seems unwilling to help himself even with my support. I'm also uncomfortable with the fact that he said he loved me about a month in after I'd already mentioned how a previous lover had done so and I was uncomfortable with it. I said it back out of awkwardness but I don't know if I feel that way yet, as it requires a level of trust and commitment that I don't think we've reached. He also talks a lot about never breaking up and getting married and while it's fun to fantasize about that once in a while, it feels like he never got over his last ex of 1.5 years and is instead just transferring those feelings onto me.
I wanted to spend time single to get to know myself better but I was charmed by how much we have in common- however, I really do think it would be healthier for me to be by myself or at least to set some boundaries. How do I de-escalate the seriousness of the relationship gently and respectfully? | boyfriend is a great friend but is much more serious than I can handle, I'd like advice on gently setting boundaries and taking care of my own well-being |
t3_3gln5p | relationships | Don't know why I (20m) am losing so much interest in my gf (20f) am I just not relationship material? (3years) | I've been with her since high school and she was my first "real" girlfriend. First girl I had sex with, talked about marriage with, you know all the good stuff.
I'm fully preped for the hatred in going to get from you reddit so give it your best shot! Lol!
After about a year with her I went from being head over heels in love with her to just in love. Now here I am after 3 years and I don't even know if I love her anymore. I have thought about talking to her about it but I hate bringing this stuff up because she'll just get mad and offended and it won't go anywhere.
About a year and a half ago something happened but I won't go into details. Basically she lied and she though I believed her but I never did for a second. I'm about 99% sure she lied and it's about something big. Ever since then, things haven't been the same.
I feel like a Seinfeld character because I'll always have a reason to break up with her in the back of my mind that really is insignificant. Something small like we aren't voting for the same person, you don't like the same music as me, you do something weird. Just dumb stuff like that.
If you would have givin me insight on this relationship 5 years ago I would be screaming at myself for even thinking about breaking up with a beautiful girl who genuinely loves me. She's everything a guy could ask for. Granted she's not perfect but neither am I. I'm far far far from it.
I feel like you don't get much better then what I have now. So me being unhappy... I feel like it means I'm just not meant to be with someone else. Shouldn't I just look past what little flaws she has and love her just like she does for me?
I don't want to do something I regret... Wether it be staying with her or leaving... I don't know anymore | girlfriend and I aren't connecting like we used to probably because of how I'm losing interest. I'm not sure why. |
t3_427tv2 | tifu | TIFU by watching The Martian on my work laptop | Last night I was watching The Martian, starring Academy Award winning Matt Damon, on my work laptop. I was streaming to my Chromecast and as the final credits rolled, I shut my laptop lid.
I am in enterprise software sales and this morning I had a meeting with a potential new customer. As with any meeting, first impressions are critical, especially in sales. After introductions, I pull out my laptop to begin presenting. I press the power button and for the next 30 seconds, at full volume, Gloria Gaynor in all her glory, is belting at the top of her lungs:
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive (hey-hey)
While trying to remain composed and mercilessly mashing the mute button, I recommend to everyone in the meeting that they watch The Martian (starring Academy Award winning Matt Damon). This was received by some odd looks and uncomfortable laughter. I guess it could have been worse... | Watched The Martian on my work laptop. The next morning at an important meeting with a new customer Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" played a full volume for an uncomfortable amount of time. |
t3_29sj4q | Advice | Friend using Aderall to get high | So my absolute best friend, and even girlfriend at this point, is away at music camp. She's never gotten high before and has seemed as against the idea as I am. (Me being an ex stoner)
She's met a friend there who does shrooms kind of frequently whose talked her into getting Aderall this evening, she's probably already done it by now.
She says she just wants to try getting high, and I trust her not to over do it, but can anybody who's tried it, or been around illegal use of it, tell me what it does to you? | can anybody who's tried aderall, or been around illegal use of it, tell me what it does to you? |
t3_2tj6k5 | relationships | My [20F] friend [23M] won't stop slangily using the word "gay" - am I overreacting? | Hi, folks! First time posting here, please be gentle.
Joe [23M] is one of my closest friends. We've been through a lot of shit together (death of a friend, getting a friend out of an abusive relationship, etc.), and from that, I know I can count on him for anything.
However, in recent months, I feel like his social graces seem to have gone out the window; he's been more frequently and publicly using words like "gay" to describe negative things and making off-color jokes. He's not racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise, but he thinks that because he doesn't mean his words as offensive, they're not offensive.
My problem lies in the fact that he seems to have no respect for the fact that people may find what he's saying offensive, regardless of what he means. When we're alone or with friends, I can let it slide because everyone knows that he's not trying to be offensive. However, because he says those things, I am uncomfortable bringing him around new people and going out to places with him. I have a very diverse array of friends, but I don't feel comfortable bringing Joe around them because I'm afraid he might say something that could hurt one of them. I'm also becoming more tired of his antics in public. Last night at a bar, he was making loud, offensive jokes, and I felt publicly embarrassed by his words.
So, r/relationships, am I in the right for feeling like this? He has the right to say whatever he chooses, but am I overreacting for finding it super embarrassing?
Also, what should I do about it? Joe's still a trustworthy friend, but I just hate how he constantly makes an ass out of himself in public situations. I'm not sure what I need to be doing at this point. | Close friend lost all sense of social grace and keeps using offensive language in public. Am I just being a crazy SJW, or am I right for feeling embarrassed? |
t3_325mnh | relationships | Me [25 F] and my bf (25 M) of 7 months just had a bad break up and I'm having a break down. | His last relationship was 7 years. She cheated and he left. He took a year away and dated casually during that time. Then we met and things went really quickly and intensely. He pushed for things to move quickly and then would back away. It made me get weird and eventually we started arguing. The arguing became unbearable and we agreed to take some time apart (just a week) when we met up after the week he said he needed to take things slowly and was afraid of the unhealthy fighting but wanted to make it work. He said he wasn't interested in anyone and wouldn't date anyone but wanted to start at square one. After a week he was distant but sweet and we hooked up like normal. Several days later he calls to say that he's too overwhelmed. That he cares but he doesn't think he feels like he should and he wants to end it.
I know it sounds insane because it was only seven months and I've only explained the worst part of it. I'll sum up the good by saying he was easily the sweetest most patient person I've ever met and he treated me wonderfully in all senses except his emotional baggage.
Do I really just have to let this go? I feel sick to my stomach. | My boyfriend is claiming he's emotionally hurt from his last relationship so he needs to end things. I"m freaking out... |
t3_2gdpm3 | relationships | Me [23 M] missing my ex of 3 years[22 F] and regretting the perfect life I could of had. | My GF and I broke up around November last year. At first I was fine with the breakup. The biggest mistake I made was continuing to hook up around March all the way through May. We went on dates and such. It was essentially dating again.
I had this perfect life planned out. We were both graduating college. Going to live in the same city where a lot of our friends from school were staying as well. Her family is close by and I loved them. Being so far away from home, I would feel security spending time with her family at her house.
I had a great job lined up in the city. Everything seemed perfect. Unfortunately, work placed me in a city close by (about 45 min/1 hour away). My Ex now has a new BF and a large group of her old college roommates and friends. I've never felt so depressed and unsure about life.
In my mind, I had this perfect life. We would all be together in the city living a life full of fun. Now I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in a new city far away from home. Everyday I wake up and regret not working more towards our relationship. These thoughts plague my mind all day. I sit here wondering what could of been. Staying with my GF, and eventually starting a family. I just want to feel happy again. I just don't think I can meet anyone like her again and start my life again. | My ex and I of 3 years broke up. Thought I had this perfect life set up for my future. Instead I'm stuck wondering what could of been feeling depressed and hopeless |
t3_2u3yve | relationships | How should I [21M] approach a girl [20F] about a long-distance relationship? | Me and this girl, we'll call her Alice, have known each other since high school. We're both in college, but are close to finishing (I've got 2 years, she has 1.5); but the issue is we go to different colleges. They're both local colleges, and we're about 45 minutes apart, but it's not like we can go see each other every day, more like once or twice a month.
Over the course of the last 2 or 3 years, we've grown very close. We thought it was just infatuation and would wear off within a few months, but if anything we've grown even closer. I can honestly say I'm super happy to be with her, and even though I do miss her when she's gone, it's always great seeing her again.
I'd like to see us get somewhere. If it doesn't work out that's fine, but I'd like to try. How should I approach her about this? Should I just suck it up and just ask her on a date, regardless of distance? And would it be a good idea to go into a long-distance relationship, even though it'll only be temporary? | We go to different colleges, but I feel like there might be something between us. How should I approach her about this? |
t3_4s7enn | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [25M] won't let me play Pokemon Go on his phone | I can't play it on my phone because it's a piece of crap. I was so excited when Pokemon Go came out, I've been a HUGE fan of Pokemon since it came to America. This is kind of a big deal to me. My boyfriend, however, has the app on his phone and won't let me play it. He just teases me about my shit phone and says the game isn't that good anyways, but I catch him playing it quite a bit? I don't think it's fair because when he doesn't pay his phone bill, I let him use mine sometimes to play games, but he won't let me use his! Am I right to be upset??? | I am a huge Pokemon fan, want to play Go, phone is shit, boyfriend won't let me use his to play. |
t3_uys55 | relationships | Headache. I guess I need someone to tell me what I already know but cannot face. | We're both 26. I've been dating my gf for more than 2 years now. The thrill is gone. It's been gone for some time actually, I've been struggling for it, but it doesn't change anything. If this had been a normal relationship, it would have ended a while ago.
We've been living in the same city for almost 1.5 year, where we met, and it was great. She is a foreigner, so in order to stay in the country she had to get a job, but couldn't find any in our city, so she went to live someplace else, hours away from here, to work. She went to a small countryside town where there's nothing to do, but the original plan was to stay there for a few months to buy herself time to get a job in any bigger city where we could both live together.
Fast forward to now. She hasn't found another job in one year. She's depressed in her countryside town. Distance and endless problems made my feelings slowly drift away, and I think she senses it, and it makes her even more depressed. At this point, I would have ended this because our relation is doing her more bad than good. But she can't leave her job and go back home. After a few months, as she couldn't find anything else, she got employed for long-term by her company. They sponsored her for her visa and they need her too much. She can't leave without paying an insane amount of money.
If I leave her now, she will have to stay there for 8 more months. The only reason for her to stay is me, she told me several times. I don't want her to suffer, at some point I have loved this girl, but this is really driving me crazy, every day I'm more stressed about this. And today, what I feared the most happened: I met another girl. She's probably not the kind of girl with whom I've got much in common, it might never be a great romance. But I was more or less admitting my fate until that moment, and this made me realize that I was actually pretty frustrated. I need help, I need to know if staying with her is actually doing her any good. | My 2 yrs gf had to go live in a small countryside town so we can live on the same continent. She cannot leave her job, she must stay there, she's depressed, I no longer have feelings for her. |
t3_12lktz | AskReddit | I'm slowly losing touch with college friends, what do you do in this situation? | I finished college at the end of last year, and alot of my friends scattered afterwards. A few moved 10 hours drive away, a couple moved one hour drive away.
Anyway we were a very close friend group in college and spent most of our time together, however since Uni has finished our communication schedule has just fallen further and further away. We all work, we're all busy and I feel rather bad about it.
I kept in contact and visited the close ones a few times, however some of my closer friends that moved away I havn't even spoken too apart from the odd facebook comment for 6 months, and the thing is it seems the longer this goes on the less we have in common. I called my best mate from uni the other week and we just have nothing to talk about anymore, and we don't live near eachother, we've made the effort to fly and visit a few times but it seems in the past month the contact has just died.
Now I feel bad about this, its not like I don't like being friends with them anymore, but its usually me making more of the effort, I was always the one who lived 30 minutes away so I usually traveled to meet most of them during college and that role has still kind of fallen on me, but I just no longer have time to travel 2 hours to hang out. I don't really like chatting on the phone and i've just seemingly lost contact with absolutely everyone.
The thing is also its snowballing down hill, it seems to have reached a point were it won't turn around, this is just going to continue to get more and more distant.
Is this completely normal or are we all just being lazy? What is usually the outcome in this kind of situation. Do you just give up and cease contact all together? | since ive finished college ive had less and less contact with my friends from college, it seems to be getting progressively less as time goes on and I don't see it changing. Do you just give up |
t3_4jevo1 | loseit | I feel so disappointed in myself. | For a little bit of background, I started a 1,200 calorie diet three weeks ago. For the first time, I actually succeeded - I've never been on a diet where I didn't feel starving all the time. In two weeks, I lost 2kg. Not a huge amount, but it's huge to me because I haven't actually *lost* weight in years. I have chronic fatigue so exercise is a pain in the butt (literally), so I was really hoping to lose 75% of the weight via dieting, and the other quarter by exercise.
I was going really well with this until I went on holiday, 6 days ago. I was away for 5 days, and fuelled by my previous success I tried really hard only to eat when I had to, and to eat relatively healthy. While I went a little bit over my 1,200 calorie restriction, I did make up for it. Each day I walked am average of 6 kilometres/3.7 miles. I never walk *anywhere* at home so I was pleased with myself for making the effort.
When I got home today, I was really excited to get on the scales and see if I'd lost any more weight. To my horror, I've actually gained 2 kg, going from 97.2kg to 99.1kg. Even though I haven't been on a diet for very long, I feel like all my hard work has been undone. I know there's lots of people here who've worked so much harder and for longer than I have and have been disappointed also, but I just feel so awful. I'm so ashamed of myself, and I feel very disheartened. I'm only at the very beginning of my journey and already I've messed up.
Please tell me someone else has had an experience like this. Any advice or words of encouragement would be really appreciated. I already struggle with depression and this has really put me in a horrible state of mind. | Started diet three weeks ago, lost 2kg. Went on holiday, walked a lot more than usual and ate relatively healthy, and still gained back the 2kg. Feeling very disappointed in myself. |
t3_10mvek | relationship_advice | [28/m] My g/f (25/f) broke it off Wednesday after almost 3 years. | My girlfriend and I had been dating for 3 years. We have had sort of a rough patch since she graduated college and has had a hard time finding a job in her field anywhere. She is a full time bartender at nights and I work typical 9-5 days so our schedules are opposite. She has volleyball leagues twice a week so our time together is very limited.
I could tell she has been depressed and having self esteem issues and I've tried to help her along the way and compliment her as much as I could. I thought we were finally starting to make some headway when Wednesday I came home to her crying and she said it wasn't working. She had gone grocery shopping that day and said she was going to make us a meal. It never happened. The fridge is full.
She then told me that she's been depressed and suffering some the lowest self esteem she's ever had. She told me that she feels like she is incapable of taking care of herself.
I ask her if there is anything wrong with the relationship and she brings up a few things about not doing things together which I explain is mostly because of the opposite schedules. But other than that she said there is nothing wrong with the relationship that is causing her to feel the way she does. The bottom line is that she needs to be alone because she's completely lost sight of her goals and feels like she can't get control of her life if she is in a relationship. But does think we could end up back together again after she gets things in order. She also said she doesn't want me to be with her if she's going to not treat me well while she is figuring shit out. (Distant, depressed, etc)
It's been a couple days and I haven't contacted her, I've given her time and space as she left for her mothers after our discussion Wednesday night. She hid her relationship status on facebook but did not end the relationship with me.
What should I expect or do if anything? More just getting it out than anything. Feel free to ask for any other details. | g/f of 3 years depressed with low self esteem and no post college ambition broke up with me because she wants to find herself and doesn't want me to half to put up with her treating me bad |
t3_27bzz6 | relationships | Should I (20M) stop talking to my ex (20F) of 2 years, who I broke up with because she didn't feel like being in a relationship anymore? | I still had feelings for her when we broke up. I was the one that broke it off because she was excessively monotone and didn't seem interested in talking to me. Whenever I asked her if she loved me, she would say "I do, but I'm not IN love..." and sometimes she would say "I don't think I am". It's been an emotional roller coaster.
Talking to her makes me feel bad. It's not the same and she's somewhat rude and doesn't reply fully to me anymore. She gives half assed answers even though she was the one that said she still wanted to keep in touch and be best friends, though it doesn't seem that way either, almost like she hates me. | Talking to my ex makes me feel bad and I am considering cutting off all communication until I don't care about her anymore. What should I do? |
t3_2khwf8 | offmychest | Got pulled out of class today... | I had been watching the news Friday about the school shooting and I just heard them talk about how the kid was probably depressed and a loner. I got really annoyed about this and I posted a status on facebook saying that apparently I am a school shooter because I am sometimes quiet and would rather be by myself most of the time. A "friend" saw this and reported it to the school saying that they are concerned about me.
I just learn about this today when I was pulled out of class by the head of security to talk to the school counselors about the status. The report went to the school Friday and atleast one of my instructors knew about it before I even did.
We talked about it and how it was all a misunderstanding. That was what they initially thought, but they wanted to make sure. I can understand that completely, but I am upset that I wasn't informed about it until today. Who knows what was said to other people about me before I even had a chance to defend myself in any way.
I am worried that I will be viewed differently now that this has happened. I made sure that there would be nothing in my file about this and they assured me that was the case. I cannot stop the word from getting around to whoever else. Stories tend to get twisted as they go from person to person.
How do I stop worrying about this when it's not that big of a deal now even though I feel like it is? I just don't want anybody to judge me based on what they hear or see when it obviously wasn't anything to be alarmed about. | No sarcasm or social commentary on Facebook. It could cause issues when context or tone of voice isn't able to be determined. |
t3_hr39h | AskReddit | What do you do when your relationship has an expiration date? (moving in - drama) | Hey guys, I made a throwaway account for this.
Anyway, some background: I'm 24, i've been in a relationship with a 22-year old girl for exactly two years now.
I'm currently studying my second degree, after getting a Masters but not finding any jobs. I'm pretty much constantly broke.
Despite this, she loves and supports me every step of the way, even though she often pays stuff for me, which gives me immense guilt (she's already working).
For a while now, she has been pestering me to come live with her as soon as possible.
She has an entire plan worked out for her (and now our) future, involving me moving in with her, and saving up for and buying a house as soon as possible.
I can't do this for a number of reasons: I'm not ready to leave home just yet, i have no money to stand on my own feet, and her house is a tiny two-room house, while i need a place to work in peace, and her overstuffed bedroom/attic just won't do.
This almost caused her to break up with me a month or two ago, and in my panic and despair i hurriedly agreed to a new deal: she wants me to move in with me this February (she can be very bossy).
She mentions this fact very often lately, especially now we've just celebrated our two-year anniversary.
Tonight she repeated what the "deal" was: "move in with me in February or never move in with me at all."
This means that I've got about half a year left with her.
What do I do? I really love her to bits, but her demands are impossible to meet... | GF wants me to move in with her in February or we break up, it's logistically and financially impossible for me, I'm fucked. |
t3_371c03 | tifu | TIFU by sticking my dick in a jar of nutella | So this actually happened last week, but I decided to hold off posting it until I felt a bit more comfortable about the whole situation. Last week my parents weren't home so I decided to invite my girlfriend over to hangout and what not. We were watching tv and we got hungry so we decided to go make something to eat. I looked around the kitchen for something to eat and a brand new jar of Nutella sat right there in the middle of the snack shelf. Never did I think such a harmless, chocolatey snack could cause me so much trouble. So, I grabbed the Nutella and started making sandwiches for her and me. We finished the sandwiches and started making out. One thing led to another and my girlfriend began blowing me. I guess she was just incredibly kinky that day because the next thing she said was, "I want more Nutella". I was confused at first, but a couple moments later I understood what she meant. Now, any normal guy (I use the term normal lightly) would had just spread the Nutella on his dick but I had the great idea of just sticking it in the jar. My girlfriend continues with my new chocolate treat and the blowjob is great. I realize my parents are coming home soon so my girlfriend leaves, but she takes the Nutella home with her. I don't like Nutella, nor does anyone in my family so I don't know why it was in my house. Fast forward to the next day and I get a text from my girlfriend that makes me sick to my stomach. She told me that her parents were having Nutella sandwiches for lunch. Yes, with the same jar of Nutella I stuck my junk in. Her parents were eating my dick contaminated Nutella. I feel like I have violated them every time I see them now and I don't know how I'll ever get over this. Better yet, I decided to tell one of my friends about the whole situation and he found it so funny that he told more people. Those people told more people and now the whole school is talking about it and calling me "Nutella Dick" and the word "Nutella" is brought up in every other sentence that someone says to me. | Stuck dick in Nutella jar for girlfriend to blow me. Parents made sandwiches with my dick Nutella. Whole school calls me Nutella Dick. |
t3_f6yl5 | relationship_advice | Is she into me or not? | I met a girl this summer who showed immediate interest in me. I eventually built up the courage to talk to her (i'm a shy guy). We met up and studied together a few times but then she left to study abroad in Paris. Before she left we met at the bar, but I was extremely tired an I think I blew it (the following days she referred to me as "bud"). However I saw her on campus today and she made direct eye contact with me...also when we parted ways she deliberately touched my arm and smiled.
I know that a girl touching my arm is usually a very good sign, but I fear that I entered the friend zone in the summer, and don't know if I can ever get out. Can any female redditors give me an idea of whether or not I have a chance. | I met a girl this summer and definitely entered the firend zone, but she went abroad this summer and when I saw her today she grabbed onto my arm when we were saying bye. Could she still be into me? |
t3_qy53l | AskReddit | Ever completely embarrass yourself in front of one of your "idols"? | My story is this:
I've been a musician almost my whole life. I was in bands throughout my teenage/early adulthood, and even ran my own concert venue for a while. One of the bands I've always loved is Every Time I Die. Well, almost two years ago their vocalist Keith Buckley started a side project called The Damned Things with the likes of Scott Ian of Anthrax fame, and some others. They were on tour and were playing about an hour from my home, so I went to the show.
Keith Buckley is arguably my all time favorite modern rock vocalist. Without going into fanboy details, I love his work for various reasons. He's got a reputation of loving beer, partying, and hanging out. So since this was a smaller club (The Machine Shop in Flint, MI) I figured this was my chance to be a cool dude and buy him a beer and chat with one of my music idols. After the show, everything was going great. I met him at the merch table, we exchanged names and pleasantries, and began chatting up a storm. So I eventually said, "Want to grab a beer? It's on me." So he lit up and said, "Yeah man! Absolutely!" So we walk to the bar, I casually order two beers, and the bartender says, "That'll be $8.50." I pull out my debit card (I rarely carry cash) and she says, "We only take cash."
*SHIT*
To my horror, Keith starts looking through his wallet. Freeze frame. Here I am with someone I've looked up to for years, am completely elated to be chilling with him, and now he's trying to buy our drinks after I offered to by *him* one. I am mortified. Luckily, my friend Mezgarth saves the day, slides me a 10 spot, and all goes as planned. Had a great time hanging out, and at the next show a few months later, Keith came up to me and asked if I had cash this time. So more fun times were had. So my question is this, Reddit: Have you ever made yourself look like a total ass in front of one of your "idols"? | I met one of my "heroes" and made myself look like an ass in front of him. Have you ever done this? |
t3_101est | relationships | Should i continue with this "relationship"?(m18,f20) | My father (49) married a (26) woman, and i really, deeply love her sister. We're very close, but both of us are ultra nerdy, so we just don't do much except gaming or browsing the internet together.
I'm at a critical point. I can no longer get my mind off her. Yesterday, 5:00AM, i woke up. She was sleeping beside me, and my father/stepm were sleeping in the master bedroom. I was really thinking about her, and i had this ultra brilliant idea. Since she was sleeping on a bed a bit lower than mine, i would just fall down. I moved very slowly, one movement every minute. By the time i had my head in the same bed as her, it was 6:30. I noticed she was awake. Not completely, just waiting for the sleepyness to go away before she went to get breakfast. At this point, i completely moved to her bed, and after a good 15 minutes, i had the courage to wrap my arm around her. She didn't mind. We stayed there for about 5m. My father entered the room with my baby brother, and i kind of tried to go back to my bed quickly, but i was stuck, and it didn't work so well. He didn't comment on the fact that i was on her bed. He probably knows that something is going on, and i have absolutely no idea if he approves it or not.
I'm 100% sure she likes me too, because of other conversations we've had. | I'm in love with my stepmother's sister, am i allowed to have a relationship with her, or should i just stop? |
t3_2srtca | relationships | Me [24 F] with my BF [25 M] of over 10 months, Valentine's Celebration Plans?? | This will be our first Valentine's Day together and it just so happens that it'll be a year less than a month later. So I don't want to put too much into Valentine's Day since there will more than likely be an anniversary celebration, which to me is more personable anyways.
In the past, Valentine's would be a big to-do, celebrated through cruises and fancy restaurants... whatever. This time I (the girl) am planning something and I want it to be simple, but special. I don't want it to be like a regular day or dinner, but I don't want to make it a huge deal either. So I thought I'd post my plans and get some feedback from you guys!
I am open to suggestions or changes and ideas if anyone has any or would like to post their plans. I know it's still a while away, but this is my first time and unfortunately I'm a planner... I like to be prepared as much as I can (although I know I can't control everything).
I have to work the morning of, but afterwards I plan on grocery shopping for a romantic dinner in and we'll make dessert together. The menu consists of crab stuffed mushrooms (appetizer), beer steamed lobster tails and grilled filet mignon wrapped in bacon (main course), fresh green beans with sauteed mushrooms, rosemary potatoes, and Carnival's warm chocolate melting cake with ice cream for dessert. And lots of champagne of course.
My question: Is this too much? Should I simplify the menu a bit more and choose one main course? I'm planning on this taking up majority of the night since we'll be making the dessert together. Are there any other activities we should do? I don't want it to be boring. | Are my Valentine's plans acceptable? Is my simple dinner too much? What are some of your ideas/plans? |
t3_u8xti | personalfinance | Student. 23. I've got two overdrafts and don't know how I'm ever going to clear them. Please help :( | Hi guys. I've been reading a lot of the posts on this page and there seems to be a lot of sound advice on here. I've been trying to formulate a plan to get rid of my debt but I'm struggling.
When I was 18 I got myself an overdraft. This is the biggest regret I've ever had. I don't have a job at the moment (though I am looking). I'm on summer break from university and so won't get my next student loan installment until September/October.
I have two overdrafts, the first and most critical is at a £2000 limit which I'm £8 away from. I'm paying about £30 interest and charges to LloydsTSB. The second is a student overdraft with a £1200 limit. I get £81 Disability Living Allowance every month and this is my only source of income until I can get a job. I'm getting increasingly scared of what's going to happen to me if I don't sort this out. I wish I had a good reason for getting into debt this much but there isn't one. I just really need to get out of the debt and I hope that you guys can share some wisdom. | Was a bloody idiot 5 years ago and got into debt I could never have paid, now need to get a handle on it. |
t3_321r3q | legaladvice | [NJ] Landlord is avoiding addressing issue of no electricity in home, what can I do? | My girlfriend's electricity has recently been turned off in the home she is renting. After calling the electric company, they stated it could not be turned back on until they spoke with the homeowner.
She called her landlord about two weeks ago explaining what the electric company told her, he told her he would call them and insisted he was "doing everything he could to help". She followed up with him two days later through text asking what the progress was. He said he could not reach the electric company yet, and insisted the same thing he did prior.
Throughout these two weeks he's been dodging her texts, and not responding for a day or so. He continues to say he's trying, and even once said "i'm talking with my consultants".
Last week my girlfriend went to the housing department who told her it was a situation outside of their control. Following this she told her landlord that if he had no response about when her electricity would be back she would be going to the police. This afternoon she went to the police who in turn told her they could do nothing.
Reddit, the stress and anxiety is overwhelming my girlfriend because nobody is helping her. I'm not entirely sure where to go from here besides taking legal action, if possible. If it is, what kind of legal case is she in here and what can be done to get out of or fix this situation? | Girlfriend's lacking electricity in rental. Electric company says they must speak with owner before turning back on. Landlord is being sketchy and hasn't given a solution in two weeks. Housing department/police can do nothing. |
t3_3guq6e | relationships | My [24/F] boyfriend [25/M] wants me to sleep with other people while he's away at school. | When I started seeing my boyfriend 5 months ago we both knew he would be moving away for school. It's a 10 hour drive away from the town we live in now.
I really tried very hard to not develop feelings for him when we started seeing one another, it was an extremely sexual relationship and I just saw us as friends with benefits. However, it became obvious fairly quickly that we were both falling for one another.
He is an emotionally disconnected person, he had a difficult childhood and has not had a relationship in the last four years. He is also extremely sexually driven and has had significantly more partners than I.
He told me that he's in love with me and that I'm the only person he's felt like he can truly be himself around. He really broke down and started crying at the idea of leaving, I believe his feelings for me are 100% genuine. At the same time he told me he can't be in a committed relationship with me while he's so far away and that he would inevitably cheat on me. In that way I respect his honesty.
Ideally he would want us to keep in touch, he lives his life out there while I live my life back here, I make it out when I can and he comes home when he can, and everything in between we don't talk about. I'm struggling really really hard with this...I do not want to sleep with other people although I know being in a serious relationship with someone who is not around is nearly impossible. At the same time I really do love him and do not want to lose the connection I have with him.
If I can't have a relationship with him anymore he says he would be upset but he couldn't blame me. And that he understands I have to do whatever I need to in order to be happy with my life. He can very easily separate his emotions from his day to day life and I can't.
Is there any possible way this could end up working out? Is that a healthy way to have a relationship with another person or is it totally warped? My perspective is so skewed I can't tell anymore. | Boyfriend moving over ten hours away for school. Wants us to both sleep with other people and practice a don't ask don't tell policy. |
t3_wobrq | relationships | My boyfriend is messing with my emotions. | Me f (20) him (23).
Been together for a year, everything has been great with small bumps in the road so far.
Except for the past two weeks or so he has been a bit distant. I try to ask him questions, but he kept pushing it away. Finally, a few days before my birthday he just all of a sudden text's me saying that he can't handle a relationship that has so much responsibility.
I don't ask him to call me all the time, i don't over text him. We see each other twice a week at most. The only thing i do that i know he hates is sending him messages about things that concern me about our relationship. I'm sure you are wondering why i just don't tell him face to face. Well he hates that to, he never wants to communicate with me, he tells me he "doesn't want to talk about it."
I ask him if he wanted to break up, he said no.
Then the VERY day of my birthday he talks about what would happen if he did break up with me (like if i would act crazy etc) I told him that no, i would cut all contact and go on with what i was planning before him. Pretty much ruined my whole birthday. Of course after that he tells me "don't worry nothing is going to happen."
Before all this he would tell me all these sweet, beautiful things and all of the trust issues i had and everything i was holding back because of a past relationship i let go. I gave the relationship my all, and all my love for him. But now I'm seeing everything he has said before as lies and manipulations.
And now this. I don't know what to do. I guess my question is how to approach talking to him about him flip flopping without him getting mad/upset at me.
But let me make this clear, i don't want to break up with him, i love him with all my heart. | Boyfriend is flip flopping on his stance in the relationship and is messing with my emotions. How do i confront him about it without him getting mad/upset. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.