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t3_19p320 | relationships | My Girlfriend (20f) and I (19m) broke up but still want to be together in the future | Back story to all of this, we were dating for 2 years before we decided to split up on new years because of us arguing and fighting all the time. Then after a week or so of being split up we decided to just be separated. We would maybe talk or text once a week and maybe see each other the same just once a week as well. Then in the middle of February she decided that it would be best if we just broke up or in her words "cut all ties" until she feels that she is ready, so no communicating of any kind. She tells me and also promises me that we will get back together in the summer. She says to me in this time frame that she won't get another boyfriend or anything of that sort, but I feel she will. I have no desire, but to just be with her and work and resolve our issues, but she said she isn't ready to jump back into this. I really don't know what to do is exactly. I'm worried that if I wait she will move on and find someone else.
I have a good feeling I'm just over thinking this whole situation and letting my thoughts and fears get the best of me.
If you guys have any thoughts or advice on what I should do that would be great and helpful. | Girlfriend and I broke up, but she tells me she wants to be with me not now, but in the summer, and I'm afraid she'll move on |
t3_sdkci | self | Career advice. Have BSEE, and going nowhere. | I have always liked math/science. I started programming in high school and really enjoy it. I have also enjoyed calculus homework and some other stuff like doing Fourier transforms by hand (obviously ones easy enough to do in an undergraduate course). I entered college in 2003 as computer science, then was afraid I was not creative enough to be good at it, so I went to undeclared then electrical engineering just as something to pick I guess. I graduated with my BS in electrical engineering in 2008. Got an engineering job in May 2009 where I had nothing to do, so gained no work experience really, then got laid off in July 2011.
I am taking a chemistry class because I thought maybe I could get into medical research, but I do not know if that is for me. The organic chemistry concepts, with their lack of equations, are very different from what I am used to. I was also thinking that programming a physics engine might be interesting since it combines math, science/physics, and programming. I am rather ennui'd right now, so looking for careers I have maybe not thought of that similiar people have found interesting. I enjoy tutoring math, but it really does not pay that much, right? And I would be a bit bitter about wasting my degree...but I would be doing that if I did chemistry stuff, too.
I am 27 if that helps. | I am a laid off 27 year old electrical engineer (barely) and do not know what to do with my life. |
t3_2fybt5 | relationships | Myself [17 M] and a girl I've been dating [17 F] are having a movie night. What can I do romantically to make it special? | Long story short, I've known this girl for a while, and she told me a few weeks ago that she's had feelings for me for almost a year. We've been on two dates and are having a movie night Friday.
We are watching "The Notebook", which I think is a sapp romantic. I want to know what I should do. The only thing we've done physically was holding hands, so I'm sure I'll do that. Are there any tips on what I should do? Should I cuddle with her? Should I try to kiss her?
Thanks for the help. I'm pretty sure I'm just overthinking it, but any date night movie night tips would be great! | having a movie night date with my crush at her house, and I would like some tips on if I should/ how I should make any moves on her. |
t3_2mg9jq | relationships | Is it wrong for me [F/24] to have lunch with a guy friend when I have a boyfriend [M/25]? | We been together almost 7 years. I love him to death but I feel like he in some ways has control over me. He has to know what friends I'm with or what family members I'm hanging out with all the time.
Well anyway my guy friend said he wants to have lunch with me that's all just to talk and hang out we are just friends. But I know my bf will kill me for this. He's constantly moody and I try not to get him in a bad mood. I mean is it really wrong to hang out with a friend for lunch?? My bf is the only guy I ever been with so I don't know much about relationship boundaries...but he has gone to Vegas with his friends, parties, and I never say anything and if I do he does what he wants anyway. I feel so guilty at the same time though even if its just a harmless lunch. Should I just tell my friend its not a good idea? | is it bad to hang out with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship? Even though its just lunch with someone who is just a friend? |
t3_43pksk | relationships | My [21M] friend [24M] of 4 years wants us to be roommates, but I don't want to live with him | Title says it all for the most part. Money wouldn't be an issue between the two of us, and we would get along just fine as we have been for years.
The issue or conflict I am having is the fact that mentally and maturity wise, we are not the same. I was planning on moving out by myself and have only me to worry about. He currently lives with his dad and doesn't make enough to sustain himself, which is why he wants a roommate instead of being with his dad for another lease.
As much as having a roommate would help out with the bills and save me money, I have been eager to live on my own. I've lived with my now ex for about 4 months and currently living with another roommate for about 4 months as well. I do not mind having a roommate, but I would like to take a break from that and be on my own.
I am conflicted on what to do. I've know this guy for years and we do get along with each other, but I don't want to live with him since I want to live on my own. If he can't find a roommate by the time his lease is up (in May), he will have to move again with his dad, which he doesn't want to do.
What do you guys think is the best thing to do? | I will be moving out soon and a friend of mine wants to move in, but I want to live on my own. |
t3_38ss57 | askwomenadvice | [22/m] Recommended to ask here; I think I might be trans, I don't know anything about being a woman and I'm really fighting with myself about my feelings. Any help? | Hey there. I posted in askwomen but they don't allow you to go into personal detail, instead I was directed here.
So I'm a pretty burly guy, large, bearded and whatnot, but I think I might not be what I look like. I don't feel like I'm a guy, or something. It's very strange.
I'm fighting with myself constantly, a small part of me wants to.. experience what I'm feeling, but the majority of me is telling me I'm a freak and that I shouldn't be thinking these things, how could I ever pull that off when I'm so huge and look like a guy.
I don't exactly know what kind of advice I'm looking for here. I'm super confused and in all honesty I find that I'm not a "tumblrina" type of person, not a SJW, nothing like that, so I feel out of place asking those kind of scenes.
a few things while I was writing this out, don't have to answer them specifically but it's what's going through my head right now
- could I ever pass?
- AM I a freak? I mean I've lived 21 years being a regular guy
- I feel like a pervert for wanting to wear.. like, girl clothes.
- but at the same time, drag queens / cross dressers freak me out
- I'm usually a very accepting person (have gay friends and other non-norm people I know) but I just hate this whole situation with me!
- Dating will obviously be off the table for the foreseeable future (which I guess is fine, I don't really date much anyways)
- I don't know anything bout being a girl
So yeah, again not sure what I'm asking, just advice or thoughts on this topic..?
Thank you for any replies! | Fat/burly bearded guy thinks he's a girl sometimes, fights with himself and doesn't know what to do |
t3_1u4k63 | legaladvice | Missed in employer hiring process | Hello Reddit legal advice! First let me whore out a bit and say that you guys are awesome for constantly answering annoying logistical inquiries from random laypeople such as myself. Here's the story. I apologize for my characteristic lack of brevity.
I applied to a firefighter position at Long Beach, Cali. For those of you who don't know, everybody wants to be a hero so the general process for fire jobs is: Written Test (a million applicants, most get eliminated) > Physical Test and/or Resume (more get eliminated) > Several rounds of interview panels (more applicants eliminated)> Hiring list > A few chosen candidates are employed, most go on to test several dozen more times or change to a less competitive career path.
Anyways, I made it through the written test (about 4000 applicants cut to approx 1500), and received an email to send in my resume and email our contact at the sponsoring community college in order to schedule my physical test. I emailed him a bunch of times, but he never responded.
Do I have a legal right to take the test? Do I have the right to legal repercussions if they say "sorry, we lost your name in the system, so people who contacted us after you got the spot"?
Of course, I don't want to make a bad name of myself, or cause trouble that could blacklist me from future employment opportunities.
Thanks again. | Name lost in hiring process (not my fault), lost spot to take employment test. Wondering if I have rights if they deny me from taking the test. |
t3_plo6v | relationships | Recently broke up with live-in girlfriend of 3 1/2 years, now her mum wants to secretly move out ex's stuff while ex is in hospital. Help? | * | Mother of Ex-girlfriend wants to move ex's stuff out of my house while ex is in hospital, without telling her. |
t3_v0ali | AskReddit | My public middle school forces me to sing Muslim prayers in choir class or else i will fail | I have a default choir class that everyone is automatically signed up for. In this class, the teacher makes us sing Muslim prayers or else we get bad grades. I talked to the principal about this and she said "students who are offended can request to be switched out of the class". This however, does not change the fact that this is still the default music program. I feel that religion should not be allowed in public schools, especially when requiring students to participate in prayers. I asked the principal about this and she said that they also offer other religious prayers as well, so that everyone else is included. Reddit what should i do? | I'm a Christian in public school who is forced to sing Muslim prayers in choir class or else I'll fail. |
t3_fqgd1 | AskReddit | Can someone help me explain this experience? I'm a little confused/creeped out. | This is without question one of the wierdest things that has ever happened to me.
Last night I got home around 12:15am after being at a friends house. We played some cards, watched tv and had a few beers (I was by no means drunk or unable to operate a vehicle safely). Earlier that night my phone died, so when I got home I went to my room and plugged it in. My plan was to go to the kitchen and make some food, figuring that by the time I was done eating my phone would have enough charge so that I could go outside to have a cigarette and call my SO.
That didn't happen. This is where it gets wierd. All I can remember is walking to the kitchen after I plugged my phone in with the intention of making food. Turns out I had made a couple grill cheese sandwiches along with tomato soup (for dunking purposes, of course). I didn't know what I had eaten until about 4:30 this morning. I kind of half-woke-up and rolled over to look at the clock, realised it was 4:30 and rolled back over. Before I fell back asleep I put my hand on my head and felt something hard and kind of sticky.. I was immediately startled and ran to the bathroom to investigate. There was tomato soup all over the top of my head and a little bit on my chin. What's confusing, is, how the hell did it get on the top of my head?. It wasn't anywhere on my pillow, or my hands or the shirt I fell asleep in. So I started cleaning it off and once finished, went back to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I see that I had not put anything away.. the toaster oven door was open, the cheese was still out and so was the milk. The bowl and plate I used were still out and there was still about half a bowl of tomato soup left. After I put everything back in its place, I went to bed. | Woke up at 4:30am to find a bunch of hardened tomato soup in my hair. Don't remember a thing. |
t3_4off84 | dating_advice | Making Sure We Are Just Friends TLDR At The Bottom | One of my friends turns out to have a crush on me, and during the summer break she decided to admit it via instagram dms. So, I am at a loss of how to tell her I'd rather be friends. I've already had to do this one time before, but it was during school so I could do it face to face. Also, I don't want to seem like an asshole as that one time before people thought I was a dipshit for doing it. Sorry if this is not technically dating advice but I could not find any other reddits. | One of my friends, a girl, just admitted to liking me via instagram dm. Schools over and instagram is the only way to communicate to her. How do I tell her I'd rather be friends without offending her? |
t3_2lii9e | relationships | I [M/18] had never asked a girl out until I asked my hairdresser [F/24] out the other day. She said yes, but I fear I've done something wrong. | So yeah. She's been cutting my hair for probably... 8 months? And I always kinda had a thing for her but I'm kinda socially awkward and have self-esteem issues and all sorts of things. But one day I decided enough was enough and I was gonna ask her out. So while I was buying from product with her I just kinda blurted out "hey, uh... what would you say to hanging out some time?" and she said something along the lines of "yeah man, of course, why would I say no? I'll give you my number."
So I texted her later and we chit-chatted a little, but then I had to go to work, so I told her I would text her later when work slowed down and I didn't have any work to do. When I ended up texting her later I just figured being direct was the best course and texted her along the lines of "so about hanging out later, how does going down to the boardwalk for dinner sound?" expecting her to say sure or offer some other option so we could get down to figuring out when we could do it, but... nothing. It's been 19 hours, and I haven't gotten a text back.
I don't really know what to do. Did I come on too strongly? Should I text her again and apologize, saying that I'm new to this and am just winging it? I don't really know what I've done wrong. | asked my hairdresser out. Texted her asking her if she wanted to get dinner and she never responded. |
t3_1k318s | dating_advice | [21F & 26M] Our age difference is preventing us from dating, now what? | We can talk for hours and have both agreed that we've never really met someone like the other. But we're both at different points in our lives where he's looking for someone more long term, mostly likely for marriage and I still have more growing as a person to do since I'm 21 and still want to enjoy my life. Also he says he doesn't want to date younger because he doesn't want to hold them back from going through experiences that he's already gone through himself.
I understand this reasoning and we're still good friends. I'm not heartbroken, but I'm honestly sad that I can't do anything about this. What should I do now? Does that mean he completely shut the door on us having a future together? | Age difference is keeping us from dating because we are at different points in our lives. Can we never be anything more in the future? |
t3_28zx2j | tifu | TIFU By letting my "ex" back into my life | Girl I started dating in 2010 for 10 months recently came back into my life. We ended abruptly over a stupid argument with no real closure. Literally one day fine and next day we stopped talking. Haven't spoke/seen each other in three years. We were never official but we both had strong feelings for each other.
She contacted me randomly after she spoke with our mutual friend(my best friend). We met up one night and I thought we would go our separate ways again but we didn't. She began texting me more and more and eventually this led to dinner. We caught up on each others lives and she tells me she got into a relationship shortly after me and they have been together since. On the way home from that dinner she calls me and tells me she still has feelings for me and hasn't been able to stop thinking about me since we saw each other. She tells me she still loves me and it brought back some feelings I thought were long gone. We continue the constant contact.
It was her birthday on Wednesday so I tried contacting her but no response. She calls the morning after and apologizes. This past Friday and Saturday we face-time for couple hours each night and I know this is about to lead somewhere but I cant stop myself, I still have strong feelings for her after all these years.
On Sunday morning she text's me to hangout before she hangs out with her friends. We hang and go our separate ways. Later that night she asks to hang out again. She comes over around 10 and we have sex.
Afterwards she gets upset and says we can never speak again, how this wasn't suppose to happen, how her life is now ruined, how badly she messed up by coming over, etc...
She has now deactivated her FB, wont answer my calls/texts, and it appears she told her (ex?)BF what happened. I never wanted to be that guy who messes up a happy relationship but I just couldn't stop it. She was coming on too strong and all these old feelings came back. I wanted her back in my life but it seems we just never were meant to be. | Let "ex" back into my life after 3 years, fucked her while she was in a LTR with another guy. |
t3_2qocql | relationships | He did not wash his hands, lasted only 3 minutes, and I did not feel much. Is there a future in this? Me 22 [22 F] date of 3 weeks [27 M] | Our first date was awesome, I felt a great connection. Our second date was good, we hooked up in my car and it was fun. But the 3rd date...
He seemed distracted, did not hug me till I asked, and when we were fooling around I took notice that he did not wash his hands, he did not even have any soap in the house. But we were already at it so I did not say anything. I hope I don't get an infection from it, can I?
Anyway, he did not even have any condoms, did not plan to use them apparently "since my ex and I rarely used them" but I had one on me. He lasted, well, 3 min max.
And well, I barely felt anything the whole time. His house was also very very messy, things spilled and pet things all over the place. And I felt meh about the whole thing. Should I see him again a time or two, or end it now? | Date was not clean and I barely felt anything when he was in me. Should I end things now or later? Or am I being shallow? |
t3_1cqe7f | BreakUps | My(21f) ex(22m) got back in touch with me after breaking up with me 4 months ago | We had a really rocky relationship for about a year. I posted about him before, and the general consensus was "run!!" We broke up after fighting for hours and he said some pretty messed up things, like threatening to hit me, telling me to kill myself, saying he was going to record the conversation so he can show people 'how he speaks to me.' All of these things are fresh in my mind, especially how he called me gullible for getting together with him. He always acted like he wanted nothing more than to drop me, and then sometime around March, he e-mailed me, and I let him back. He only really talks about how he misses having sex with me, and every time I want to talk about past stuff, he just won't engage me. I also found out recently that I have a disorder, and it's been having me reevaluate everything, so I do feel more forgiving towards him since I probably didn't make things easier. But how do I get him to acknowledge me when I want to talk things out? | BF breaks up with me, started talking to me again, expressed interest but won't let me talk about past issues that still bother me. |
t3_25rjkg | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF[24 F] of 1 year, a kind of weird jealousy issue.. | I am from a country in Asia and she is from a European country. We are both in the US. I don't have anything to complain about in our relationship and it's going great. Even the thing I am talking about is not really a issue cause it does not affect our relationship but I thought I would ask cause I do feel jealous and inferior sometimes. So the thing is she is obsessed with another asian Country, uh.. Japan. She is interested in and really likes my country too so that's not a problem. And she is definitely not spending time looking at Japanese boys' photos or something so that's not a problem either. But just the idea that she will never be interested in my country nearly as much as she is in Japan.... putting this out there cause I want to get rid of this feeling of jealousy that pops up from time to time. | Me from country A, GF from country B, is obsessed with Country C. No problems except I get feelings of jealousy sometimes. |
t3_100siw | relationships | Feelings for my best friends [20F] little sister [18F] | I guess this requires a little back story.
Had two best friends since I was 11 (I'm now 20) who started dating around 4 years ago, we'll call them John [21M] and Jane [20F]. Their relationship is very healthy and I have remained very close with both them and their families throughout (I've even been asked to be best man at the eventual wedding).
When meeting for a night out / general event we almost always gather at Jane's house where she lives with her mother, brother and sister. Over the last 6 months or so there have been a number of times where the three of us plan to go to the cinema / out for food where both John and Jane have brought along Jane's younger sister, Jill [18F].
I get along with Jill just fine, I wouldn't say we "flirt" a lot but we definitely get along, often we find ourselves talking to each other when John and Jane are having their own conversation. Outside of these events we don't really talk much, but that's just me in general, I tend to keep myself to myself unless I'm with a group of friends.
You've probably guessed already that Jill has caught my attention, in a pretty big way.
My main question for you, Reddit, is how do I approach this? Do I go to Jane and/or John and tell them? Do I just straight up ask Jill out on a date? Is there a reason John and Jane keep bringing her along to events other than to even the numbers up?
Like I say I have become very close to Jane and Jill's family, and I don't want to ruin that. I could go to John in strict confidence but there's still a chance someone else will find out. | Feelings for best friends younger sister. Not sure if talking to said friend will help or hinder. Don't want to ruin relationship with friends or her family that I have grown very close to |
t3_m2qcr | AskReddit | Peoples of Reddit, I bought a flat and now I have some questions... | About 2 months ago, my boyfriend and I bought a flat. It's absolutely lovely, but we are totally inexperienced in DIY, decorating, furniture choices, and pretty much everything else! There are so many things I don't understand!
Having discovered Reddit a couple of months ago (I know, I know, late adopter), I've been amazed at the range and depth of knowledge, and the amount of amazing advice and tips. So I figured that I'd ask you guys for some help...
1) Any tips for good (and cheap/reasonable) sites for furniture? We need a sofa, a chair and a small sofabed, but everything is so expensive and looks so same-y
2) Likewise, any ideas for where we can find a rug? Most sites I've looked at don't let you return it if it's not right, and we don't want to spend our money on something that is awful when it arrives
3) Any DIY tips or simple/easy tips that make a big difference when doing up a new property?
4) We have a lot of rubbish plain wood doors that we can't afford to replace - any ideas for how to make them more exciting?
5) Any money saving tips when running your own property? We need to keep costs down as much as possible so we can save up to get our kitchen re-fitted
Basically, HELP! Any advice would be very much appreciated. For info, we are in the UK (South West), both make an ok wage but don't have a great deal of disposable income, and the property is a 2-bed flat (1st floor and loft conversion) in a Georgian terrace. | we bought a flat, and need some advice on where to source reasonable furnishings, decorating tips and DIY advice. Homeowners of Reddit, we need your help! |
t3_2gx12g | relationships | My girlfriend [F27] used to be a stripper. Can a former stripper be a good wife and mother? Am I [M29] playing with fire? | Sorry for the rather blunt title but that's essentially what my post boils down to.
I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman that used to be a stripper. Thankfully, she stopped right before we met, so it's technically in the past, not the present. Needless to say, when I found out the truth, I was shocked because she didn't seem like the type. I'm guessing most men probably would've bolted but I decided to give her a chance and I'm glad I did. Here we are, a year later and I've fallen really hard for her. She's now working at a local vet, which she really loves, so I'm happy for her.
We're in our late 20's and she's been dropping a lot of hints about getting engaged. I'm not quite ready but I'm getting there.
I noticed over the past several months she's become really.... domestic? I'm not sure how to describe it. It's almost like she's going out of her way to prove to me that she'd be a good wife and mother.
She's embarrassed about her past, so I haven't told any friends and family. But everyone loves her, especially my mother. However, I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. We all have a history but I guess I can't help but wonder... Am I playing with fire here? Can the past really stay in the past? | My girlfriend [F27] used to be a stripper. I'm [M29] wondering about the future. |
t3_14a5mf | BreakUps | I (m23) feel an impending breakup coming from my SO (f27). What's the best way to deal? | We've been friends longer than we've been dating, best friends in fact.
She moved away for school, so we've been doing the LDR thing for a few months now.
I can tell that things aren't quite the same as they were before she left, and she's even mentioned a few times that her heart isn't in it. She's hoping that'll change once she's back in town for holiday break, but I'm not holding my breath.
She'll most likely opt to end the relationship once she's down here, in person.
Even though I can expect it, it's still pretty devastating. Do you guys have any advice for handling this in the best way, as well as the post break up period? Like I said, she's been one of my best friends, and I'd hate to lose her over a failed experiment at dating. | My best friend, long distance SO will most likely break up with me once she's back in town. What's the best way to handle her decision? |
t3_3j4s1z | relationships | My (18/M) ex (17/F) ruined sex for me mentally and I feel bad that my girlfriend (18/F) has to put up with it. | I went through a 4 month torture period of a break-up with my last girlfriend. Everything between cheating, false allegations and general mental torment to the point that I was on the verge of getting the authorities involved, caused me to not only no longer crave sex, but no longer enjoy receiving it.
I fell into depression for several months and and am now a lot better, but one thing that never recovered was my sex drive. I'm currently dating the most compassionate girl I've ever met. She knows the full story with my ex and has been completely supportive of the fact I want to take things slower and has been incredibly supportive this entire time. We have the kind of relationship where we each get off of getting each other off.
Thing is I haven't been able to get off in a while. I feel dissociated from sex. And the problem isn't attraction; this girl is gorgeous and I'm incredibly attracted to her – every time we have sex, she's disappointed by the fact that I don't exactly finish, even when she does, and it makes her feel guilty. It's in no way her fault and she couldn't be doing anything better. I tell her that but I feel like it's becoming somewhat of a mantra. | Ex ruined sex for me. GF feels guilty when I can't get off. It's not in any way her fault and I tell her that. I don't know how sustainable this is. |
t3_18hbjn | relationships | My friends with benefit (25m) made a request and I (21f) feel kind of offended. Should I be? | I'm 21f and he is 25m. We've been friends for about a year and FWBs for 3 months. We actually decided to date and that was going well, but he didn't want a relationship and I was going to travel over the holidays so we agreed to become FWBs. Its been good and we have great sex and its fun. Nothing is really wrong so much with the benefits part of things.
Last week, him and his roommates had a little get together for The Walking Dead premier and a lot of his friends were over. He invited me to come over too, but told me in text basically I know we aren't together but don't flirt with my friends or anything like that. Which I probably wouldn't have done, but it felt kind of rude for him to say it too.
He has always made it super clear to anyone we aren't together and wants us to keep the FWB thing secret. Which is cool.. I'm down with discretion too. It just makes me feel kind of bad. He makes me feel kind of like a slut sometimes... with the whole don't flirt with my friends, or like off-hand comments like i'm so glad we never dated, i wouldn't have trusted you lol.
So question is in the title, but its basically is it okay for me to feel offended over what he said about his friends? Is it even okay for him to say that? | FWB invited me to a party, but told me before not to flirt with any of his friends. Kind of feel offended. Should I be? |
t3_1n8r37 | relationships | Scared of women's sexuality I'm 20/M Recent Break Up with Bisexual 21/F Girlfriend What now? | I made a recent post about my girl jerking off with other girls while in a relationship with me. I broke up with her since I didn't like that.
She said that many women have affairs with other women, especially friends. It surprised me and decided to do research.
Indeed there are A LOT of women that find the female form sexually arousing. They like lesbian porn. Find other women arousing. May or may not have "fooled around" with other girls (typically friends). Crave going all the way with a girl. Those who love it.
Many say the don't see themselves dating another girl because they are too scared to try. They can't find someone. Or no reason just cuz.
As a straight guy, this is really daunting. Just like women like attracting others, so do guys. I talked with some other guys and answers are split between A) That's hot and I'm thinking with my weiner OR B) Fuuuuuck, really?
I feel like I could NEVER, truly, fully satisfy a woman. I'm in her peripheral or I'm a safe choice because being with another woman "feels wrong". Essentially they will be with me because it is the path of less resistance. Like, being with a guy is a compromise. I fear if I share these thoughts with future partners they might feel put off or unwelcomed.
Ladies imagine if your male SO, Boyfriend, Hubby told you he only likes watching Gay Porn, Only orgasms when thinking of guys, "fools around" with his guy friends.
In a world were everything is about women and sex. It feels you're the exception in women's lives. You feel out of the matrix and going extinct. | Women express a bias towards their own sexual diphormism. This makes me, a male, feel inadequate, suspicious, and unwanted by females. |
t3_1jkr7k | relationships | What can I do (F/20) to make myself feel better about my SO's (M/23) sex drive? | Hey folks!
So this last week my partner and I haven't been able to have much sex because of my time of the month. I feel bad leaving him hanging for a few days because I know he has a high sex drive, so I'll give him really good head to make up for it. I go for a very long time just so I can make it as amazing as possible, but I recently found out this isn't enough.
I discovered the other day that he's been going on websites with live cams and chat rooms and that he's also been Facebook stalking his ex's. I'm a little weirded out by my second discovery, but this first one kind of hurt my feelings. I completely understand that guys need time to themselves to relax and such, but in my partner's case, he hasn't done anything for the past week besides lay in bed and get head.
My first thought upon learning all of this was "What can I do to make it better for him?" After a day of thinking this over I realized I should be thinking instead "What can I think/ do for myself that will make **me** feel better?"
I put a lot into our relationship, and focus on making him feel as good as possible. But I never put time in for myself. I've seen it bring down the quality in my relationships before- the fact that I have low self esteem and focus way too much on other unimportant aspects in my life.
So, if possible, I was hoping you lovely people could share your insight, experiences, and advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. | I'm feeling shitty about myself over petty porn and other silly things; so I would love to hear your advice, input and experiences on self confidence and how you make yourself feel like you're the amazing partner that you are! |
t3_4kgpvr | relationships | My (f/20) best friend (f/21) of 14 years is ditching me on my birthday because her boyfriend (m/20) can't come. | Hi Reddit.
My best friend of 14 years has been dating a horrible man. This man is extremely homophobic, possessive, has anger issues and has the most entitled, selfish way of thinking. Recently I made it clear to my friend that her boyfriend was not welcome in group plans (with the rest of our friends) because many of our friends in the group are homosexual and found his actions and words to them threatening. A few days later, my best friend told me she wouldn't be able to show up to my birthday party if her boyfriend couldn't come because she didn't want to put herself in a situation where there would be drunk single guys.
This really hurt me. I explained to her that I valued having the people closest to me with me during my birthday, and that it would really hurt me if she were to miss it. I also explained that I understood she was uncomfortable - however she was an independent woman who could take care of and defend herself, especially when all of her friends were around her for support and protection. I mentioned that although I had always hated her boyfriend that I always welcomed him with open arms and was incredible polite because I knew she valued him and I wanted to respect her and make her happy. The only time I did not welcome him is when he threatened to hurt my homosexual friends.
She listened to me, but she isn't budging on her decision. She thinks I'm being a drama queen and thats it's only one day and I will have a bunch of other people around me. She doesn't understand that having HER there is important to me and that its what I value. Maybe I'm not understanding what she values (not putting herself in that situation) at the same time...
I don't know what to do. I can't look past this. I want to look past it so I can continue being her friend though. I don't want to lose her but I'm so hurt at the same time. | best friend of 14 years said she wouldn't be able to come to my birthday if her boyfriend couldn't come because there would be single drunk guys. I want to get over it but I can't |
t3_3uw2bd | relationships | My friend [26F] Keeps Asking Me [25F] But I have to Keep Turning Her Down | I have a friend around my age. Let's call her Kate. I'm still getting my doctorate while she's been out of school for a while. She's got a good job, a husband, etc.
She's nice and will bend over backwards for people. She stresses herself out to make sure others are happy.
Sometimes Kate invites me out; she's taken a liking to me and sees me as a kindred spirit. I don't mind taking her up on her offers, but usually something always comes up. She probably thinks I'm blowing her off. When I try to explain, she tries to put on a happy face and says, "That's ok..." when I can tell she's about to cry.
She's super sensitive. Even when she texts me and I don't reply back right away, she apologizes. Shit, she apologizes for everything. "Sorry I bothered you." "Sorry our date didn't work out." And on and on. We both have depression issues; I'm not sure the extent of hers but it's enough to give her bad self esteem. I've had to give her pep talks a lot.
Anyway, although I have legit reasons to be busy (hello, doctorate and family stuff), I think she thinks she's not good enough to be my friend or something. Plus her attitude doesn't really entice me to wanna hang out with her.
Advice? | My friend Kate invites me out; I often have to cancel because of legit reasons. She beats herself up over it. |
t3_2uxfd5 | self | Abrupt sex stoppage (mid-play) | My partner and I have been with each other for 6 years. We both enjoy sex, however recently whilst sexing he has insisted on using toys. Now, I haven't objected to toys in the past, I just want to stagger their use. Frankly, a dildo can be painful especially if it's considerably larger than what I'm used to - no matter how much lube. I have expressed this to my partner. Anyway, last night we were having sex and then he said 'I've picked out some toys for you.' I said that this time I didn't want any 'additions' and just purely wanted his cock. He stopped. Said 'we'll try tomorrow'. I was still horny and wanted an orgasm, so he said 'go on then', but proceeded to tell me he wasn't going to penetrate me. He did a faint rubbing which didn't really go anywhere, so we stopped. I don't know what to do. Call me old fashioned, but I just don't fancy dildos every time. He seems to take it as an insult even though I tell him I don't enjoy it. What do? | boyfriend prefers sex when dildos are involved with me (f). I don't like said dildos so he stops altogether. What do I do. |
t3_3c93da | tifu | TIFU by making my workterm student cry | Ok so this happened about 2 hours ago and im still flaking out from it. I work in the construction industry with mostly all males so I guess I am a bit rough around the edges.
I have a work term student who is a young female engineering student and today she was not doing the task I assigned.
I fucked up by sending her an email telling her she needs to finish the task before going out and doing other stuff that she finds more interesting.
When I picked her up at the end of the day she proceeds to start bawling her eyes out from what she called "anger crying". Thats right, she was so mad she was crying...is that even possible? She then starts flipping at me for treating her like shit and I was so shocked I actually apologized to her!
Can't wait for work in the morning. | I sent my work term student a straight to the point email, afterwards she got so mad about it she cried and called me down to the dirt. |
t3_3qaqgc | relationships | Me [18 M/] with my girlfriend [17 F]- 1 month- we want to last a long time but she doesn't trust me that i like only her. | So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little while now. we started of as just friends but gradually our relationship grew more and more until finally we started dating. We do have really strong feelings for each other, we start to miss each other straight away when not around each other.
The problem is that she doesnt fully trust me and trust that i only like her. Im not that type of guy to sleep around or that, and ive never done anything in our friendship or relationship that would make her think that, its just the type of person she is. I dont talk to any girls and even gave her my facebook password and all that to prove everything to her. The one thing that plays on her mind is that fact that at one point in time before i barely knew her i had a small crush on her sister, which ended up with nothing happening and we barely even talk to each other now
She say's she wants to be with me for a very long time and i do believe her, but randomly she'll just get mad if i even look at another girl, and she has started saying that maybe we should have small small little breaks from each other just so we don't get to attached to each other or that maybe we should just be friends till she can trust me.
She gets too jealous and too overprotective sometimes but i do have really really strong feelings for her and want to be in a serious relationship, what can i do to prove to her that she is the only girl i like and what to be with. | girlfriend gets mad jealous at me alot because she doesnt trust me that she is the only girl i like and want to be with! |
t3_19ne3w | relationships | I (f 19) have been with my SO (m 19) for almost three years, but I'm about to break up with him... I think. | What can I do to soften the blow? How can I help him with the breakup? And yes, I really want us to remain friends. We have been best friends for a long time and I don't want to loose that.
I truly do love him, and I will truly miss him if he decides he doesn't want to be friends after the breakup. He is my first love, we used to be so great together, snuggling with him is one of the greatest joys on earth, but I think it's time...
Our relationship has been painful for a while now; I don't want to go into the details because they are so hard for me to describe. | I love him so much but I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. How can I initiate the least painful breakup while keeping the option open to remain friends? |
t3_h6ael | Pets | Wanting to plan an out-of-state memorial service for my bf's dog... | Reddit, I need your help. I've been lurking for over a half a year, so I know just how helpful you can all be. My parents never let me have a pet growing up, and my grandparents died when I was really young, so I have no idea how to relate to my boyfriend whose dog died last night. His best friend was a little three-year-old shih tzu mix, and despite living with pit bulls with no problems ever, was randomly attacked by another dog a few days ago. I've never met this dog, since my boyfriend moved out here about a half of a year ago and hasn't been able to go home, which is thousands of miles away, since. The little pup was living with a friend and my boyfriend was waiting until he went home to visit and bring him back. I know how much the dog meant to him, and how hurt he is thinking about how long it had been since he last saw him. I know he feels a lot of guilt and pain. I want to plan a memorial service for his pup so he can begin the healing process, or at least feel he can acknowledge what has happened, since only his family back home has been able to participate in the burial. He's not super religious, but I think would appreciate a partly spiritual, partly secular memorial of his buddy.
I'm basically trying to create this out of nothing. There are no toys or anything of the dog's that my boyfriend brought out here. I'd like to go out to a park or something this evening, maybe have a candlelit vigil.
Any idea for readings (both secular and spiritual), ideas of things we can "do," and in general what I can do to help him? I'm thinking something along the lines of giving him the chance to remember the good times, and maybe come to terms with some of the guilt he feels (like writing his dog a letter and then doing something with that?). I've been really trying to give him his space, but I just want him to know that I care in a way less superficial than just a hug and an "I'm sorry." | Boyfriend's dog, who lived thousands of miles away, died last night. Need ideas for a "memorial service." |
t3_32w9tj | relationships | I [22F] Found out my Coworker I kinda asked out is only [16M] | There's this guy who's been working at this restaurant with me for a few weeks, we talk quite a bit and we get along well. I asked him if he wanted to go to the mall and to eat this weekend, he agreed to it. It wasn't exactly "asking him out" but it was kind of a date.
Now I found out through his social media accounts that he's only 16 years old, I thought he was older than that and now I feel very awkward and I don't know if he thinks of this as a date or not. I don't know what I should do, I do have some interest in him but I feel kind of wrong if I were to pursue that. Should I still go? What should I say/do? | I found out that this guy I work with who I basically asked out, is just 16. Don't know what to do. |
t3_d70gh | AskReddit | Extra room in my new house; Reddit, what should I do with it? | I moved out of my old apartment into a new house. It's just me, one roommate (we're both male), and my dog. Now here's the problem... it's a 3 bedroom house for only two of us. What should we do with the extra room?
I'm not very creative so I don't have any idea. I hate the fact that there is an empty room just sitting there going to waste.
Here's some info that might help you guys come up with some ideas:
We're college students. We already have a beer pong table in the garage.
We go to the gym at our school so we don't need an exercise room.
We only smoke outside or in the garage and will not ever be smoking in the house.
I am willing to spend some money on a good idea as to what to turn this room into.
It's a 10x10 room with a sliding door closet. | extra room in 2 college students' house. need ideas as to what to do with it. willing to spend money. |
t3_x63jr | AskReddit | Any advice for a sticky roommate/lease situation? | So I moved in with this girl (met on reddit :/ ) and her boyfriend two months ago. Her name and mine are on separate one-year leases. All of the utilities are in her name. Things weren't too bad up, except for the common living areas becoming very dirty and loud arguing late at night, until about a week ago.
She got in a huge fight and broke up with her boyfriend, sat around the apartment for a couple days, and then ran off to Jacksonville. This was last Thursday.
The same day she left, the water was turned off. She first claimed when I called that it was turned off due to construction. I called the water department twice over the past week and both times they stated that there was no record of a deposit on the water, so they turned it off. Confronting my roommate over the phone, she said that she paid the deposit with card. She claims that she called the water department and tried to get it cleared up, but I'm still sitting here with no water.
Four days ago, she said that her parents were making her move out of the apartment and move back home. Her father is apparently good friends with the manager and cleared her name off the lease. She texted me today and said that she won't be contributing to next month's rent because it is state law that she only has to give 30 days notice prior to leaving. The first notice of her moving out was 6 days ago via text, the same day that the water was turned off.
I just really want to know if I can use any of this as leverage to get out of the lease asap without having to pay some outrageous fee. There is no stipulation on the lease for ending early. The state of residency is Georgia. | Water off for a week because of roommate, roommate moving out before end-of-lease with only 11 days notice before rent due, I want to get out of this situation. |
t3_3n6zug | tifu | TIFU by ditching school for an hour and a half. | So, unfortunately this TIFU isn't that funny, but let me tell you my story. So I'm a student in highschool, I go to an alternative school and the teachers are rather strict. I stayed up all night before today, determined to go to school the next day because i have an issue with sleeping in. It was leading up to a hard working day because I normally chat around but i was set in a different room cause i told my teacher i couldnt concentrate. this kinda made me upset for a bit so i just reading facebook on my phone. Bell rings, Clock Reads 12:00, it's lunchtime. Have my smoke, some autistic kid started crying, campus is back open again, go inside play pool for a bit, bell rings, lunchtime is over. I started getting ready for class then my friend wanted to show me their new bong, and i was like "Sweet yea lets rip it quickly" we go to blaze and we ended up ditching school, i went back 5 minutes before the end of the day, teacher tells me to wait outside, and i wait outside, 15 minutes later, teacher walks out and yells at me, "We can talk about it now! or we can talk about it later!" I said, extremely stoned, "Yea we can talk about it now!"- Dumbass mistake i made, he was so choked at the fact i skipped school to get stoned, my buddy that was with me got caught too so we where in the office. my teacher said to me "what did I tell you I'd do if you started playing school again?" , I replied with what he told me. "If I start playing this bullshit program you'll kick me out." Stoned and frustrated i knew i just fucked up, he immediately replied with a fast driven "And that's what I'm doing right now" Boom, out of school, well fuck.came home mom is bitching at me and i have to get a job by the end of the week. | Ditched school to smoke weed, got booted out, need a job at the end of the week or im homeless. |
t3_396gwj | relationships | A boy [17M] in my year is cheating in our exams. | We are currently sitting our end of year exams at school, and there is a boy in my year who sits behind me in every exam because our surnames are next to each other. Basically, before the exam starts, we are meant to put all electrical devices (i.e. phones) into a plastic wallet, and the examiners collect them in. This boy behind me (let's call him Ryan) does not put anything in his wallet. This is odd because I have seen him walking out of school after an exam using his phone, so clearly it is in his pocket. At every single exam we have had so far (there have been 6) he has asked to get up and go to the toilet. Obviously, an examiner goes with him, but they obviously cannot follow him into the cubical, and I am certain that he is checking the answers on his phone. He has asked to go to the toilet in EVERY SINGLE exam we have had, usually 10 minutes after the exam starts. He doesn't have any medical issues that would result in him needing the toilet this often, as I was in lessons with him throughout the year and he never went to the toilet frequently then - and that was only a week ago, so I'm sure nothing drastic has changed. Should I tell my schools exam office? I have no objective concrete evidence but it doesn't take an idiot to figure out that he's going to the toilet to look up the answers whilst in the cubicle.
I know some people may say 'don't snitch, it's none of your business', but this to me is really unfair. I personally and many others have worked very hard to achieve good grades on these exams, and it seems extremely unfair that someone else should do well without putting in the effort. Also, if he does very well, then the grade boundaries will increase, which may mean that certain people cannot get the grades they want. These are our AS exams as well, so they are very important - they are what we apply to university with. So it's not just some irrelevant test. | A boy in my year is going to the toilet in every exam, and I am certain he is doing this to look up the answers on his phone. |
t3_2k7b11 | relationships | I [23M] gave my crush [25F] a birthday present; was it too much? | I had some free time last week and put together a birthday present for a classmate that I have feelings for. We are both fans of Pokémon, so I got her a plush and painted a clear bowl to make it into a PokéBall container for the plush. Her birthday is this coming Monday, but I decided to give her the present early. I asked her yesterday when she was free so I could give her the present, but she said, "You didn't have to get me anything. You know how I feel about presents." I knew she didn't like presents, but I felt this was fine because it was for an occasion, her birthday.
So today I gave her the present, but she was hesitant about accepting it. She knows I like her, so she told me that she felt uncomfortable receiving the gift from me, and since we hang out or sit together a lot, it would send the wrong message. I told her I thought it was okay because it was for her birthday, but she told me that only parents, close family members, best friends, and boyfriend (she's single) give her gifts. She also said "it goes a bit beyond friends when it comes to gifts and stuff."
Was the gift really too much? | Tried to do a nice gesture for girl I like. She liked the gift, but now I'm unsure of her opinion of me. |
t3_n49mo | AskReddit | Got a speeding ticket in california and not sure what to do... | Hi all I created a throwaway account because im much too ashamed of the recent turn of events. Anyways, heres my story.
I was driving a car (listed as a non-operating vehicle) on I-5 (From LA to SF). I received the necessary permits(one-trip permit) to drive it so im not worried about that. Anyways, I was going along my way when I see a police car with lights ablazing. I pull over on the side of the wrode and he tells me he clocked me going 87 mph. I got the ticket and the night went by uneventfully after that. Heres the problem, The ticket says that my court date is during the first week of january. I have 2 issues.
1. I live in the bay area and the court Im scheduled to go to is about 2-3 hours away
2. Ill be out of the country until january 16th.
So I suppose my question is, Can i have the trial postponed until I come back? If I decided to fight the ticket, would it be better if i did it in person? Can I change the trial locations? how much would the fine be?(approximately). I just got my license a few months ago and this is my first ticket ever so im completely clueless on how the proccess works. Thanks for reading :( | got a speeding ticket and supposed to appear in court 3 hours from where I live and on top of that ill be out of the country until after the court date. what are my options? |
t3_lguud | AskReddit | My ex-boyfriend is still in love with me, advice? | We broke up over a year ago after a 2-year relationship and it was a mutual decision (no really, if anything he broke up with me!). It started out well, we decided to be friends and for a while it worked...
Then it stopped working. It started with him getting jealous if I talked to a guy and he would constantly ask me if I was dating anyone and basically was just all up in my business. That's when I broke off all contact, told him not to call or text me anymore. That worked for about a month and then I started getting texts from him, telling me that he still loves me and how he wants me back. He also calls on weekend nights (drunk!) At first I answered and told him I wasn't at all interested and that he should move on. But as he kept texting me (and calling) I just stopped answering. So that's where I am now, I still get the texts and sometimes they're really nasty and he calls me all sorts of names (that's when he texts really drunk) So, does anyone have any advice for me? I just want him to leave me alone and move on with his life | My boyfriend of 2 years is still in love with me, a year after our break-up, and keeps texting me (sometimes nasty things). Currently I'm ignoring them, but how can I make him stop? |
t3_25f86z | askwomenadvice | What are some ways a girl can approach a guy (in high school)? | I haven't a clue how to express my interest in this guy in my P.E. class. I am 16F (sophomore) and I think he is a junior, so perhaps 16 or 17.
We have completely different groups of friends. I haven't even had a full conversation with him before. I've only said a few words across the badminton net regarding who serves first. Ugh. School is coming to a close but my crush on him (I know, I know) isn't. I've been planning to make his acquaintance in some way. Unfortunately, he is not a very social guy in my class. He has friends, but in PE, he drifts within his social circle (only guys). He's intimidating to me. Multiple times I've been skeptical of his name, and don't even know his last name!
I, on the other hand, have a fairly tight-knit group of friends (only girls). Only one of my friends really talks to guys in my class. The others have little interest in expanding their social base. Being an introvert, it's hard for me to spread out, let alone express my affections towards that oh-so-cute junior. | I have a huge crush on a guy in my PE class and haven't found a way to talk to him. I'm shy! |
t3_2iiini | loseit | Motivation question... | Hey Guys! I've been a follower for a few months now and I just had a basic question and would love feedback if you're willing to give it!
I'm overweight and I know it. I used to be active and healthy. Food was never an issue for me as I played soccer in both high school and college and never had to worry about it since I burned it all off. After a couple of knee surgeries, I can no longer play soccer, and I get soreness if I push too hard running.
I used my soreness and fear of reinjuring my knee as an excuse to get lazy and stop exercising. Suddenly, I went from a 5'5 140 pound muscular female to pushing 260 lbs at the same height. I overeat for the amount of exercise I (hardly) get and no matter how many times I try to change my eating habits, something always happens and I turn back to food.
I might be over sharing and not posting anything of worth to any of the other users on here, but my question is about motivation. I know everyone's different. We all come from different backgrounds, scenarios, geographical locations, etc. I'm not looking for a straight forward answer. I just want to know or maybe hear some examples of how you guys finally got on the right path.
I tell myself I want to lose weight and be happier about myself, but I don't want to work out. I'll get to the point of putting on my running shoes and then not getting off the bed. I eat like absolute garbage, and not only that, but I eat to almost double the amount I should be.
I really appreciate the feedback, and thanks again. | Formerly active and healthy 21 year old female now almost 260 pounds. Needing advice on where to look for motivation to get myself going. |
t3_kryqd | AskReddit | Do/did you work for Telus Communication? | I dont know where best to put this question so i'll try it here. Im in college and I am stuck on our project. I need to write up 2 pages of how Telus Organizes as a company? I am not asking you to write me the entire thing. Just some facts or ideas I can expand on. I know nothing about the functioning of Telus. The instructions are as follows:
*Select three to five of the following points that you feel are most pertinent to how Telus organizes. These points might include: What organizational structures Telus uses and how effective it is for a company of this type and size (refer to uses such as departmentalization, degree of centralization, authority structures, etc); what elements in the company's environment/industry affect the structure; does the company subscribe to a particular organizational design; and how does the company organize people, projects and processes. In your recommendations think about whether their organizational elements support the company's objectives and industry. | Please read it? I really need your help with this! Please Reddit, I beg of you! Thank you in advance for any contributions! |
t3_2ceww7 | relationships | I'm [25 M], my [24 F] girlfriend of 5 years doesn't seem all that into me. | Hey everyone,
Never posted be here, so I appreciate every response.
My girlfriend just left to see her friend out of town for the weekend and I am a mess. Not because she's gone for the weekend... But because for the past 2 years our relationship has 'calmed down' and I am unsatisfied. I love this person more then my writing skills allow me to express. We fought really hard to be together, its a long story that I wont get into, and I know she loves me just as much as I love her.... But I have always known that love isn't enough for me.
I'll try to explain... I am a very passionate person, I wouldn't say I have a huge demand for affection and intimacy but they are definitely important to me in a relationship. Lately (2 years), my girlfriend isn't that interested in sex or intimacy. We are intimate 1-3 times a month, which is really not enough for me. When I talk to her about it, she says she loves me and she wants more intimate time, but whenever I try and make that happen, she's too tired, too much on her mind, not in the mood, etc. I really dislike that about our relationship. I want to be with someone that doesn't just say they want to be with me, but actually is... | my gf of 5 years is too busy for love/sex/intimacy, we really love each other, but is that enough? |
t3_1m1g4t | AskReddit | What's the most traumatizing thing that's ever happened to you? | My best friend and I were supposed to attend the same Ivy League school. We had an apartment reserved, and both of us had weekend jobs lined up. He was going to play D1 lacrosse, I was going for pre med. We both moved to different high schools our junior year of high school; he went to a prep school, I went to a predominantly white school 10 miles from our reservation (we're Mohawk indians).
Well, he was home for christmas break and the morning his parents were going to drive him back, they found him hanging from the rafters in the garage.
That really messed me up. I started drinking all the time instead of going to school, started doing real drugs (I was a bit of a pothead prior to this), broke up with my girlfriend of two years, stopped talking to my parents, etc. When my lacrosse coach found out, he announced in front of the whole team what I was going through and basically told them I was going down the same path as every other indian who had his feelings hurt. I didn't know how to cope with the fact that my best friend in the whole world was gone in the blink of an eye.
I withdrew from the university I was about to attend, and went to my backup school. I didn't do my work, and failed multiple classes. After my second semester, I withdrew from the university and now I'm working for a startup lacrosse company. | Everyone had high aspirations for my friend and I. He killed himself, it fucked up my head. Drugs, alcohol, sluts. |
t3_3ahd3e | tifu | TIFU by using "sir" or "miss" at a Con... | Well this didn't inherently happen today, but in fact a week ago.
I was at a Con that my library school district hosts once a year. Its the closest thing any geek or nerd in my area gets to going to a real Con without having to travel. Anyways, it's lunch time and I am minding my own business, getting myself a nice refreshing drink at a hot dog cart outside. Here is where the FU happens.
A person walks up behind me and I don't see them. I take a step back and accidentally knock into them. The first glance of my eye sees short hair, so instinctively i say, "Oh, sorry sir." When my eyes focus, i see a very feminine face looking a little wondering. Immediately, I panic and say, "Sorry, i mean miss." Crisis averted, i think to myself, when the BOY replies, "No, you got it right the first time."
My face gets red, i mumble many a stupid sounding apology, even saying that my "color-blindness" doesnt help my judgement of gender (i am NOT color blind, simply very BAD at coming up with on-the-spot excuses.) | I called a "he" a "he" then thought it was a "she" but turns out i was right and it was a he, so logically, i feign color-blindness. |
t3_sq2yx | relationships | Feel bad lying for my friend and ex; What else can I do? | I got myself in a super complicated romance with a man that wasn't totally single last year (against my knowledge), which ended in a lot of heartache on both sides and our deciding to just be friends. Eventually I ended up going on casual dates with a mutual friend of ours, and he requested that I *NOT* say anything about our previous romance as the long term/long distance girlfriend was also friends with this fellow.
Obviously the relationship between this friend and his girl was fizzling out, and it died soon after. I was hoping he would clean up his act at this point, but instead he made a bigger mess of things. He then began fooling around with a girl in a 7 year relationship that lives with her man, and regularly socializes as a couple with my friend and our social group.
I am so sick of keeping my ex's lies! While him and I aren't a couple and most of my friends have told me that what he chooses to do is none of my business I feel like this is really unfair. Even my new boyfriend knows about his dealings with this girl, and we all have to lie on his and her behalf. I think that what he did with his ex and to me is totally unfair, and the way that this new girl is acting is pushing me over the edge. He says they aren't seeing each other that way anymore, but I get anxious every time her name is even mentioned.
Do I tell him to come clean? Cutting him out of my life isn't an option right now, and I think that some of his bad decisions may be related to depression and the self fulfilling prophecy of feeling like scum and continuing to act like scum. Should I talk to the new girl?
If I was the one being screwed around, I'd want to know... However emailing his ex and and telling her the whole story doesn't really sound like a great option. Neither does talking to new girls boyfriend.
Help!? | Ex has habit of lying in relationships, and asks me to keep my mouth shut. I'm worried about him, and super angry for being told to lie on his behalf. What do I do? |
t3_2q021r | relationship_advice | (14/m) I want to move forward with a friend (14/f) but don't want to maybe lose her friendship | I have developed a bit of an attraction towards one of my best friends, but I don't want to lose her as one of my best friends if I ask her to be in a more serious relationship with me. Some people might say stuff like "You've got nothing to lose" "go for it" etc. But if I had nothing to lose it wouldn't be an issue. I have one of my best friends to lose. She is not currently otherwise involved relationship wise, so I don't have to worry about that.
Some might say, "You're only 14, grow up a little first" but I feel that I have matured enough mentally to be able to handle a more serious relationship.
I do have some reason to believe she might like me, but there's no sure fire way of telling. | I don't really know how to deal with a girl, because I really like her, but asking her out and her not being interested could result in the loss of a great friend. |
t3_zckjy | AskReddit | Canadian husband mentally/physically abused by Japanese wife. How can we help from overseas? | My Canadian uncle is has been living in Japan for almost 20 years and has been married to his Japanese wife for 14 years. They have three kids under the age of 12.
For the last couple of years his wife has become more and more abusive and beats my uncle as well as emotionally abuses him. She has even hit and verbally abused their kids. It has reached a point where we are concerned for their safety. She goes MIA for days at a time leaving my uncle in the dark and struggling to juggle making a living and caring for the kids.
There is much more but the question I have is: aside from the emotional support which is taking a toll on my mother, how can we help from overseas? He seems too mentally abused to seek help although my mom begs him to daily. The goal is to get him and the kids out of there and back to Canada. | my Canadian uncle is being physically and emotionally abused by his Japanese wife in Japan. What resources are available to get him and the kids out of there? |
t3_2s6xow | relationships | I (M19) was texting her (F20) until it slowed. | So about a month or so ago I met this girl online, we both live in the same area and hit it off pretty well. We talked (through text) almost every day. She seemed really into the conversation and so was I.
I asked if she wanted to go out sometime, she said yes but the day I had off she was busy. After that we talked for about two more days, then the conversation just kinda slowed down. She doesn't initiate the conversation anymore and stops responding after 4 or 5 texts.
Did I mess up? Is there anyway to "reignite the spark?" should I just give up? | We texted for about a month, I asked to meet up, she said no. Conversations slowed to a halt. |
t3_4q0pvx | relationships | [M28] 6 months out of a 3+ year relationship (2 years spent living together) and I'm still grieving like it just happened yesterday. What are some strategies for coping without saying bye forever? | My ex and I split up on good terms and still keep in touch occasionally.
She moved across the country for a job and we decided that it would be too tough to try to make things work (i.e., by me moving out there with her while doing my own work remotely).
I'm still in the place where we lived together (though a friend moved into the guest room once my ex moved out) and she's been back in town a couple times briefly, with things being friendly/fun both times.
But 6 months out of the relationship and I still feel like I'm sad/grieving as though this all just happened yesterday.
Is this normal? Any suggestions? Not only do I feel bad, but I also feel bad for feeling bad. What are some strategies for coping without saying bye forever? | Ex and I broke up when she moved away, still on good terms, still heartbroken like crazy. Seeking comfort/guidance |
t3_353vpe | relationship_advice | [23M] My boyfriend [24M] of 4 years has Craigslist m4m ads in browser history | Okay, here goes. Some background:
FIRST: We've been together for 4 years. He has, in the past, flirted with someone long-distance over text messages. I wouldn't have found if I hadn't used his computer and seen the texts in his Messages app (this was me being nosy, which I realize is shitty but if I hadn't done this I wouldn't have found out). I counted this as emotional cheating, he swore it'd never happen again and he blocked the number of the person as soon as I confronted him. Claims he was just doing it to make this guy feel better. That was a year ago.
SECOND: The day before yesterday I asked permission to use his laptop for Netflix because mine crashed, he said yes (he was at work, his laptop is always at home).
After using the computer a bit, I looked at his browser history. I know this is terrible-- I have never done it before, and feel extremely shitty and guilty about it. But because of point #1, and how he has been acting lately, I have been insecure about where we are right now in our relationship.
In his browser history I found M4M Craiglist ads (which are all down now), and searches for our neighborhood on days that he knew I would be out until late.
So, should I confront him about this?
He's never physically cheat on me, as far as I know... our sex life is really good. I have a feeling he may be just getting off the to idea of the hookups that are happening-- he also likes to read erotic fiction. I doubt he is posting them himself, but I am not sure. He is home when I get home, he's usually still awake, he showers me with affection all the time. He doesn't have time to cheat on me, as far as I know. | I violated my partner's trust, found Craigslist m4m ads in his browsing history. Not sure if I need to confront him about it or not because I shouldn't have even been snooping in the first place. |
t3_1e6tay | AskReddit | Deciding not to spend the day with my mother, am I being petty? | A fight broke out last night in which my (drunk) uncle broke my grandmother's hand and threatened to injure me and himself. This all started because of phone conversation with my mother. Granted, nobody could predict his violent reaction. A lot more ended up happening last night that is very troubling to me and my grandparents. The drinking took place at a benefit at a bar that raised a great deal of money for a little boy in need. I sent my mother messages in which I explained that the rest of the family was blaming her and I did not. She began to blame my grandmother, who does nothing but treat me nice, because apparently all she ever does is drink (according to my mother) and taught my uncle (now 32) this behavior when he was young. She did not even acknowledge that what happened was my uncles fault, she just continued to blame my grandmother for him being drunk and reacting this way. The way my grandmothers hand was broken; attempting to pull my uncle back before he seriously hurt me (I am seventeen years old). Should I put things aside, take flowers to my grandmother for mothers day, and spend the day with my mother? Am I justified in making her spend the day alone? | my mom caused an argument, uncle broke grandma's hand and tried to kill me, mom blames my grandma, I dont want to see her today |
t3_kyki7 | AskReddit | Is there anyway to get out of a dorm contract? | So, some friends and I recently found a house with cheap enough rent that we would be paying about half as much as we do to live in the dorms at our school (including utilities). The problem is, when we spoke to campus living about it, the contract we sign at the beginning of our fall semester apparently is for the whole year, rather than by the semester, even though we pay for the dorms by semester. We also have to submit $100 with the contract. To get out of it, they told us we have to buy out the rest of our contract by paying for 50% of our next semester's campus living costs, so over $1000 we would never see again.
We are wondering if anyone knows of any law that would allow us to get out of it. All of us are not financially well off, and only having to pay half of what we do now would benefit us so much. [Here] is a copy of the contract we signed. And if it makes any difference, we live in NC.
Thank you. | Friends and I live on campus, found a much cheaper house, but need a way to get out of our dorm contracts. |
t3_1f592y | relationships | I'm(26f) have been dating my gf (23f) for almost 8 months and she's texting an ex | My girlfriend and I have a good relationship except for one thing. My girlfriend believes that it's ok to be friends with ex girlfriends and I do not. An old girlfriend of hers contacted her on Facebook and they've started texting. My gf has been open about it with me and hasn't hid anything that I know of. We had a huge fight the other night about it. I don't think she should have a friendship with her. The fight ended without a anything being resolved and they are still texting. Am I wrong to ask her to stop. Also, just for insight, my gf has been in a relationship before with her last ex and that ex was controlling and wouldn't allow her to have any friends. The controlling ex is not the texting ex. | My gf wants to text and be friends with her ex and I'm uncomfortable with it but not sure if I have the right to stop it. |
t3_2vq79r | relationships | Advice on how I [32 M] should approach a conversation with gf [26 F] when she gets really defensive when discussing serious issues | Thumbnail sketch, we've been together for 6 years and lived together for about 3, she was working overseas for 1 year and we were long-distance.
Now she's been back for about 1 year and we're moving back in together.
We seem to be on different pages about some things, mainly financial (her spending/my frugality), and I have trouble having serious discussions with her about my concerns because she gets really defensive and will start running herself down (I'm stupid, I'm horrible, I'm a terrible gf, etc...) in what I see as a way to elicit sympathy/make me feel like a jerk, and shut-down the conversation.
I'm not coming on here to vent or slag her off, so I don't want to be specific about details (cause you'd only be getting my side of the story).
But I am growing more and more concerned about our future as we've been talking about marriage and kids and that's not something I want to jump into unless some of the finer details are hammered out.
I want to approach her in a way that doesn't seem like I'm mad, or lecturing her, or scolding her, or threatening her with the future of our relationship. But I do want to talk these things out.
I'm at a loss of how to approach this and my previous attempts have been less than stellar.
Would anyone mind slinging little advice my way? | hard to have serious conversations with my long-time gf because she becomes self-depricating to shut down the discussion |
t3_1n5jmk | relationships | Me [20f] with [19m] I met a few days ago who I think I'm falling for, but I just got out of a destructive relationship. | I got approached by [19m] a few days ago, and so far I really enjoy talking with him and it seems reciprocated! However, I just got out of a long-term relationship with my ex not too long ago (broke up 2 months ago, but I would say officially broke up a bit more than a week ago). The relationship was destructive and really damaged me. I told my new guy and made it clear that I'm not looking for anything right now because I just got out of a relationship, I contacted him though because he seemed like a cool guy and I'd like to get to know him. Might as well start making friends! I know I'm not ready for another relationship right now because I'm just not emotionally stable. I really need to work on myself with being comfortable alone and single.
However, my new guy is such a catch! I don't know if it's just because I'm not used to actually being treated properly and it's such a different experience compared to my last relationship, but I feel like I'm already falling. It's scaring me because I know I'll end up going back to my old patterns of depending on someone for happiness, but I don't want to push him away. What do I do? Am I moving on too fast? | Ex and I broke up about a week ago. New guy is great, and I think I'm falling for him already but I'm not ready for a new relationship. What do? |
t3_2xdd2m | tifu | TIFU by going to the toilet just before everyone came back from work. | So yeah, I am currently between jobs living back home, and as I'm doing the washing up I feel a certain level of build up, the kind where you know its a risky choice to ignore it. So I do my habitual thing when I'm the only guy in the house, I lock the front door as I'm not exactly quick to react to things sat on the toilet, I do the same if I'm showering in the house alone. So yeah, I'm doing my thing and I hear a knock. "Thats early" I think to myself, turns out my sister got a ride home, so I'm rushing trying to get downstairs and the knocking becomes kicking, and she kicks the door so hard I can hear it cracking, I shout to her that I'm there and open the door. She rants at me swearing and shouting which the neighbours can see, I manage to calm her down. Cue mum coming home, seeing the washing up the damage on the door and exploding at me, I'm pretty much drained from the past 45 minutes and argue back as I'm a grown man and washing up isn't a big deal to me. Then my sister goes to the toilet and I remember I forgot to flush and oh man it all kicks off again, stuffs been brought up that hasnt been mentioned in years as I'm just standing there in disbelief that my choice to not soil myself has caused so much. | Decided to not soil myself during washing up, now practically disowned and gonna have to buy a new door it looks like. Oh and the washing up is done. |
t3_3xzzju | relationships | Regretting my (F27) relationship with my dead best friend's brother (M29) | Please don't judge me for any of this.
My closest friend passed away suddenly last year. We were like twins, her death really affected me and I was essentially a hermit for the first six months after her death. I was hugely depressed and completely changed as a person.
It was at this point I started getting closer to her brother. It felt like he was the only person who understood my grief. The only one who knew what I was going through. Eventually we got closer and closer and ended up sleeping together and are now in a relationship of six months.
Let me say firstly that he is the most wonderful person. He has a heart of gold and is completely selfless. He treats me perfectly and I don't think you could find a better boyfriend.
I'm finding now that there is too much pressure on our relationship. His parents are talking about marriage and children and how happy they are to see us together and how it's meant that she died for a reason. They tell me this every time I see them and sometimes randomly text me it too. His mom got me a job because I was unemployed and poor and then got us a house together so I see him all the time.
My boyfriend himself is similarly attached. He's put me on a pedestal and always goes on about how I've saved him, how without me he's nothing, how everyone he loves has left him but how he knows I won't and about our children and wedding etc etc. He doesn't give me space and I feel so smothered.
For me it's all too much. I just to go with the flow and enjoy a relationship rather than have it made into this huge thing. I feel like we got into a relationship for the wrong reason and that I will never be able to leave because it's been made into such a big deal that I'd be ostracised and hated by my best friend's family. I've let her down and I feel like I'm letting everyone else down but the whole dynamic makes me so unhappy. What can I do? | got into relationship with best friends brother after she died and now feel too pressured and smothered to make her death a positive thing |
t3_ux3vi | AskReddit | I used to keep an egg warm thinking that a miniature me will come out. Reddit, what are some silly things you thought were true when you were younger? | I hope I don't regret posting this, but I was young. I think I was in first grade or something, I can't remember. All I remember is that I saw some cartoon (Looney Toons, maybe) where a dog laid on top of some eggs of a chickens and then some mini dogs came hatching out. After I was done watching, this curious little Squirtle decided to grab some eggs from the fridge and sort of squatted on the eggs. I legitimately thought mini-mes would come out of the eggs. I went about doing this for like two days until I gave up. There were some casualties: I accidentally crushed two eggs with my ass and felt like I had committed some sort of murder.
I also thought the game show Survivor would throw it's losing contestants into a pit of snakes and needles. My brothers jokingly told me that I asked them, "What happens when they get voted off?" For the longest time I thought all those contestants died except one. | Thanks to a cartoon, I thought nurturing an egg would hatch a mini-me. Survivor contestants were thrown in a snake pitt with needles. |
t3_2k3qp9 | tifu | TIFU By Meeting up with a Hooker | So I saw a hooker ad on a page dedicated to that and went ahead and made an appointment for an hour after the call. I reached the place started calling the girl but she didn't answer. After an awkward moment with the counter lady she gave me the room number and I went ahead to do the business.
What I found in front of me looked nothing like the pictures...I was very dissapointed. Still I decided to give it a go. After an hour. Nothing. She said time was up and that we had to stop. No refunds. I feel dirty now. We did use protection, I'm not stupid. | Did it with a hooker who didn't satisfy me and lost money on it. Didn't really have a good time either. |
t3_2w5t06 | tifu | TIFU by taking a girl I just met on tinder surfing. | I am writing this from the emergency hospital lobby. But let me start this from the beginning. So I meet a girl on tinder last Tuesday. We start chatting and she expresses her interest in surfing (says she's gone once with friends etc). So we decide to go today, seeing it's a holiday and the weather is nice. We get to the beach and I just ask the basics, can you swim? Do you know how to deal with rips? And don't drop in on anyone. So we get in the water and it's a little more choppier then expected, but still manageable. I'm paddling keeping my out for her, making sure she's OK. But before I can give her a warning she takes her long board and holds it in front of her face and ends up taking a board and a decent sized wave to her face. I'm thinking it's not big deal and proceed to catch a wave, from the corner of my peripheral I can see a bunch of people jumping and yelling. I look over and can't see who's hurt but I know someone is being helped. I have a scary intuition that it could be my date. So I paddle in, only to see my date screaming and cursing me out for leaving her. She cut her lips open and knocked her front tooth out. I immediately take her to the hospital where I am sitting here, but I did just enjoy a hot chocolate. So I have that going for me! | Took my tinder date out surfing and she busted her face open. Now we're at the hospital (2nd date, going pretty well I guess you can say) |
t3_1smjez | relationships | Me [20 M] with my female interest [20 F] 2 months, was seeing each other and was getting serious | Might be a bit hard to follow sorry..
Seeing a girl for 2 months and her heart has been broken twice with her having an ugly fall out with her best friend and her grandfather passing. She continued seeing me through this and seemed happy with us until one day we talked about 'us' and said she isn't ready for another relationship, her saying she hates that she can't give me a relationship and that its not fair because it is hurting me(while in tears).
It hurt me seeing her so upset so I lied to her saying i was happy being friends if she isn't ready for a relationship and it stopped the crying.
The next few weeks were really awkward and i decided to tell her that i lied and it still hurts a bit that we pretty much were borderline in a relationship and then says she can't give me one.
It hurts her a lot that i lied and she finds it hard to be around me and doesn't want to see me in person for a while but talking is 'fine' because she still cares about me but is unsure of her feelings towards me.
I have no idea what to do because i still want to see her but it hurts not being able to and whenever we talk its really awkward and dull conversations..
Any advice? I keep saying to myself to leave her alone but i find myself thinking about her and missing her more. | Seeing girl while she was going through a hard time, lied to her so she would stop crying now she doesn't know how she feels about me, I'm hurting. |
t3_3wynea | relationships | Should I [23 M] (or not) send a Christmas Card to her [21 F]? | I had a summer thing with a girl, from beginning of June to beginning of August, that eventually fizzled out because I caught real feelings and she did not want to be committed to a relationship and everything that comes with it. She is finishing up nursing school and is busy in that regard so I understood. But we were essentially dating so I thought why not be a titled thing. However, no more than a week or so after we called off whatever it was we were doing, we started hanging out again until about the beginning of October, and then the feelings came back. Knowing she was smack in the middle of the semester I decided to stop things this time. We've made little contact since then.
I want to send her a Christmas card, just saying how much fun I had with her, wishing her luck with the rest of nursing school, saying Merry 1st Christmas to her two nephews who were born while we were still talking.
I think in the back of mind I hope she'll want to get together to catch up but realistically I don't think that will happen. My heart says just do it what's the worst that could happen, but my head says don't bother you just look like a creep. What do you think, Reddit? | Summer fling with a girl that extended into the fall, cut it off because it didn't seem to be going anywhere, want send her a Christmas card/note. Yes or no? |
t3_1312ks | dating_advice | (F 23) Do I still get a chance with him (M 23)? | I (F 23) noticed that i'm falling for one of my friends (M 23) from sports. Now I think that he likes me to but I'm not sure. He does look in the eyes when talking, lots of touching (back, shoulder, etc), brings me home at night (though he does that to some others as well), and more of these things. Though he's really social in general. Though a good 2 years ago after championship he said these words: Finally I get to give you a kiss.
Being obivious I shrugged it off and didn't pay attention to it till now. | I didn't notice the very obvious kiss part 2 years ago, do I still get a chance to get in a relationship with him? |
t3_1ryrb7 | relationships | How can I [25f] feel closer to and more intimate with a guy [27m] who has difficulty expressing his emotions? | I (25f) have been exclusively dating a guy (27m) for 5 months. It's been long distance, so I feel communication is very important. He'll listen to me if I start talking about myself, but he never asks me anything personal and gets very awkward when sensitive topics like exes are brought up.
He reassures me it's not because he doesn't care about me and that he's always been bad at showing emotions. He says he will try to do better, but there hasn't been much improvement. As a result, I don't feel as close to or intimate with him as I'd like. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I can't help it. I'm really making myself vulnerable and putting myself out there, and I just don't see much in return unless I coax it out of him. I really like him, so I would like to help him open up instead of dropping him. As far as emotional baggage goes (that I know of), he grew up with alcoholic, divorced parents, one of whom passed away when he was a teenager, and he has had one long distance relationship that didn't work out and he couldn't get over for a long time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | The guy (27m) I (25f) am dating has great difficulty showing his emotions, and I'd like to know what I can do to make him more comfortable sharing his feelings and deep thoughts. |
t3_1y6v2u | offmychest | I don't want my parents to see my college essay | My essay (which, looking back, was very well written for my level) is about a certain point of view I have. It has nothing too personal about myself, but the tone and main topic of the essay express a view that my parents probably wouldn't take without questioning. And my parents are asking to see it.
Long story short, my essay is about how I'm starting to branch out to others and better myself despite the self-loathing that I've been going through. But my parents have *zero* clue that I've felt that way at all. I know I've said I want help, but I'm afraid I'll be ridiculed for expressing that view in a *college entrance essay. | Essay is about something my parents don't know about myself and I'm scared of what will happen whether or not they see it |
t3_3pi7zt | relationships | Me [27 M] with my ex gf [22 F] 4 months , so she doesn't feel the same towards me but keeps texting me. | So she left me several months ago to find her self ended up getting back with her ex who she dumped shortly after.... I was about 90% over her and she came back into my life (im weak)so I agreed that we could talk and she told me "she missed me and regretting leaving" ..
We talked and it was cool for first week but then she became distant and only texting or finding time for me at work or late late at night. ( like an idiot I figured she would work her self out and find her self"
Well it got to the point where I broke down and told her either she finds time or were done and she completely blew me off and my trip down to see her.
Now it's day 3. She is texting me... I love this woman but I know she just needs someone to talk to and does not feel the same.
Do I bother talking to her as a friend hoping she comes back or do I cut my losses and move on.
My biggest fear is I won't find another girl like her anytime soon and giving up on any future we could have just sucks. | woman left me, tried talking to her.. I love her and she doesn't love me, I try to move on and she keeps trying to contact me. |
t3_2tm4bh | tifu | TIFU My hormones made me into a creep and a potential rapist. | Me and my three other friends (1 guy, 2 chicks, all my age) that went to my high school just met up all together walking aimlessly through the suburb, night falls and as i usually do around 10 pm is feel a little horny, but tonight it felt as if someone had slipped me some horny goat weed becuase Jesus Christ did I need to desperately bust a nut or two. We go to one of the girls houses and chill for a hour or two. Me and my mate got bored and wanted to go home so we left the house and walked for a few minutes whilst my mate rang his mum pick him up. I haven't lost my virginity so I have just had this lustful nature, so after my mate is off the phone I chat to him talking about the 2 girls, I explained my lust for both of them, he had this speechless and stunned face the whole time I talked about that I would fuck them and fooled around that if I couldn't fuck any of them I would just rape them, not thinking what I just said I didn't get a reaction from my mate so I laughed the awkward silence off just to hear a light sobbing behind me, I turn around mumbling 'the fuck bro?' and see the 2 girls behind a mailbox and some shrubbery. I Fucked Up Today and found out I am fucked up today. | Hanging out with friends, said to one in privet that I would rape them just to find out that it wasn't privet |
t3_j84o6 | AskReddit | What should I do with my dog? | Reddit, I really need your help with this one. In March my girlfriend and I got a dog, her mom watched the dog for us for a month while we were at school. At the end of May, her mom ended up getting a puppy. We are moving into an apartment in two weeks when all of a sudden she tells me today that we might give our dog to her mom for fear that she will get depressed when we move away from the puppy. While I understand her reasoning, I also said that our dog would be upset for a while either way because she will miss someone no matter where she goes. This is really tearing me up because I care about her so much but I want her to be happy.
What should we do? We thought a good idea would be to have her stay for a month and then see from there. Now she says that she knows that the dog won't be happy with us, but will miss the puppy instead. | My girlfriend and I have a dog that has bonded with another dog, should we take our dog with us or leave her at her moms? |
t3_4mgf0j | relationships | Need some advice on getting over comments about my [30F] body made by my husband [31M] at the beginning of our relationship. | My husband and I have been together for nine years. When we first got together, he was quite critical of my body. He had a criticism for a number of my body parts, but the one that stuck with me the most was his criticism of my weight. At 5'3 and 119lbs, I was "fat," according to him. He would encourage me to work out more to lose the weight. During that time I developed an eating disorder. Bulimia, to be specific.
Nine years later, he has apologized for those comments, saying he was young, naive, stupid, etc... He tells me I am beautiful and that he is very attracted to me. I feel like I am being overly dramatic and ridiculous, but I can't get out of my head that I am an unattractive fat sack of shit. We've never really had a stellar sex life, and this is one of the biggest reasons.
I am no longer 21, and I have since had two children. After the birth of my second child at the end of 2014, coupled with a crazy work schedule, and post partum depression, my weight got up to 136 lbs, peaking this past February. Our sex life was virtually non-existant during 2014 and 2015.
I am now down to 124 lbs. Sometimes I feel sexy and confident, but most of the time I can't help but think that I am still five lbs heavier than when he used to call me fat. I see the porn he looks at, and it's girls who are a good 10 - 15 lbs smaller than me.
There is not a lot in my life that I have control over at the moment. I've always had anxiety, so since February or so, my anxiety has been high, and I grasp at control through my weight, so the eating disorder has been back with a vengeance. Doesn't help that swimsuit season is now in full swing.
So my question to you is: am I being ridiculous? It's it totally unreasonable to hang on those words he said to me so long ago, that he now apologizes for? How do I get over those old comments? | Husband used to call me fat years ago. I'm still not over it. Got an eating disorder now and don't want to have sex often because of how gross I feel. |
t3_3giwrz | relationships | Thanks to reddit, i realize... | Thanks to the people who have responded to my (23 F) previous posts i've made about my ex (25 M)..yall have made me realize that i really was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 2 years and i was so blind to it..
I've been single for a week or so now and it's like a breath of fresh air to not be talked down to or judged for everything..i am still a little sad but life goes on ! Now the question i have is..what is your definition of a healthy relationship? Clearly I've never been in one so i want to know the signs of one whenever i do decide to move on.. | Newly single and out of an emotionally abusive relationship, how will i know a healthy relationship when one presents itself to me? |
t3_1ci9rn | relationship_advice | Friend [19f] going through a brutal two weeks, anything I [18m] can do? | I've known this girl since kindergarten, and we're both now ending our freshman years of college. We went to prom together and had the stereotypical summer romance before calling things off in college, however we've maintained a really close friendship and have been there for each other throughout the ups and downs of the last year. We've opened up to each other on numerous occasions about life and what's bothering us, and I'm worried about her now. She has this huge project for one of her classes due, and she told me that she literally doesn't have a clue how to do it or what she is doing. I know she's had really bad panic attacks about this subject (comp sci) in the past. I was tempted to text her tonight and ask how her project is going but I don't want to stress her out more, I know that if I have a huge project/exam coming up I hate to talk about it, not to mention that finals and the like are approaching.
We talked last night (she goes to school in Boston and I checked up on her to see if she's alright) and she mentioned the project, and I tried to keep things lighthearted and I ended the conversation wishing her good luck and that I'm sure she'll do well.
Is there anything I can say or send to her to help her relax and be there for her? Things to talk about to take her mind off things? We don't talk all that much when we're at our separate universities, but like I said she's a really good friend and we've been there for each other in the past, she's almost like a sister to me. I don't want to put any added pressure on her and I almost think it's better if I just keep my distance and wait for finals to end. She doesn't handle stress well and I'm afraid of reaching out and causing more, especially through text/long distance. Anything I should do? Give her a call in a couple days and see how's she doing? | Good friend known for stress-induced panic attacks is going through the stresses of finals/end of the year projects, wondering what I can do (if I should do anything) to be there for her. |
t3_42zsmf | relationships | Me [29M] with my fiancée [28F] 5yr. Wants me to stop talking to my friend. Among other things. | My fiancee has never liked one of my friends and has said many times i should stop talking to him and distance myself from him.
He pokes fun at me and belittles me at times but has never really said anything that i've taken offense at but maybe im too thick skinned. He's helped me out when i was super depressed and even set me up with my current job which he pleaded with me for years to take.(I now make nearly twice as much as i did before and work half as much.) Above all that we share similar hobbies which we can sometime talk about or trade items of. (books ect)
I've never had the need or reason to debate someone's friendship with me before and its odd. I don't feel the need to justify my friendship cause we just are. So the fact im not taking her advice in this she sees as not respecting her. On top of this were moving in less than a year to a place where im going to see ALL my friends half as often as i do now since its closer to her job.
We normally hang out once a week. All my friends and him and besides the fact i do not wish to uninvite him i feel like my friends would also wonder "hey why didn't you invite __" | Fiancee dislikes friend, wants me to stop hanging with him. Friend is bit of a dick but still my friend. |
t3_gn0xe | AskReddit | Reddit, any advice for writer's block and a lonely heart? | Lately, I've been hitting the backspace key more than any other while I write. I'll put down a sentence, pause for 5 minutes, and then decide it was total garbage. Whenever I do write something that sticks, I then have a problem expanding on it and wind up lost in my inner dialogue.
This all began after my dad lost his job. I'm in school with a part-time job and my pops has always been kind with helping to pay for my rent, but he can no longer afford to assist with the last two months that I'm on my lease.
On top of this, I've been unable to flirt with girls and usually resort to being alone where I feel in my comfort zone. Before this all happened, I was a fun guy to go out with and could strike it up with any girl. Now, I feel like I drain the energy wherever I go and have no humor in what I say. I simply point out the obvious of something being talked about with my friends or rehash an old zinger that someone else said and go "that shit was TOO funny."
So what I guess I'm trying to say is that I feel bland with the way I've been communicating the last four months. This problem is effecting my papers, online writing, party conversations and really any activity that requires an ounce of creativity. My inability to actually sit-the-fuck-down-and-write has merged with the stress I feel with school, work, dad losing his job and having no strong girlfriend prospects. I hope to change my situation around, but it feels like so many things are preventing me from being efficient with my work and enjoying the time I have with friends. Thanks for listening, I truly appreciate any and all input Reddit can give :) | I want to (re)develop my character--as silly as that sounds--and feel more productive and confident in what I say and how I say it. Like a boss. |
t3_i0h7q | personalfinance | I'm a 29 year old father of two and I don't have a dime saved yet, so what do I do? | I got a late start on my career, which I didn't really think would matter too much, because I didn't think I'd be going to be having a family in my mid 20s. Somehow, I accidentally got married then had two wonderful kids, but that has kind of thrown me in to a panic.
I inherited a fair amount of debt from my wife, and to make matters worse it was very important to both of us that she stay home with the kids.
Well, she finally got a good paying job in her field, and we've been paying down her debt. In two months, our credit card will be paid off which will give us, after our luxury budget, with $600 per month extra.
I see two viable options:
* Roll the $600 we've been paying to my credit card over to my car payment. We owe about 8k on the car, and when all is said and done would have over $1,000 extra a month when that is paid off.
* Start saving/investing a nest egg. We really don't have much if any saving, and I don't know the first thing about investing, but aside from our 401(k) plans, we don't have anything put away.
I know saving is crucial, but we've been just scraping by for a very long time now, so that hasn't been an option up until now. So, I'm anxious to start, but it seems like $600 +/- is not a lot to play with... | Should I start saving/investing $600 now and $1,000 in about a year, or should I pay off my car ASAP? |
t3_3otfy4 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my [20 F] have been dating for 4 months. She is very "friendly"with her guy friends and males in general. | Since I started dating my gf I knew she has both male and female friends which didn't bother me at first. As we continued to date things started getting more and more weird.
For starters; almost all of her male friends have feelings for her. I have asked her why she continues to be friends with them when they have made it obvious that they want to get in her pants and she says it doesn't matter cause she just sees them as friends.
Secondly, she has guy friends at her apartment late at night and even has them stay the night on some occasions. I know this cause she uploads snapchats of her and her guy friend in her apartment late at night.
Thirdy, she's waaaaayyy to friendly and is one of those girls who thinks guys see her as just a friend. Some guy at her work invited her to a party and she was gonna go with him but couldn't since I was spending that night with her. I asked her why she would go with this guy to a party and she says "cause he's nice and wants to be friends.
Is it possible that shes faithful and is literally just friends with all these guys? Most people would dump their gf/bf if they stayed the night with another guy/girl, but the thing is I have no way of telling if she's cheating cause she just says "he's a friend". | Gf is too friendly with other guys, and OP has no way to tell if she's cheating on him or if she's actually just friends with these guys. |
t3_q5att | AskReddit | Why are Redditors no douche bags? | So I've been checking out Reddit for a short time now, enjoying the good honey crusted link stuff that is provided to me from time to time by you guys.
Embarrassingly enough, I didn't actively started to check out Reddit since a month now.
But what I noticed most of all...you guys (and ladies) aren't douchebags. Mostly anyway. I've expected a community like you see elsewhere online on the bigger sites, like you see on YouTube or most forums, video games, you name it. There it's filled with raging hotheads who want to argue till death (ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!)
Of course there are the occasional dick jokes here and hey-put-your-hand-in-this-bowl-of-warm-water-as-you-sleep jokes, but no mindless flaming.
What could be the reason that unlike other sites (9gag...) this actually has a decent user base? Lack of visual effects perhaps, as it's mostly just text on the site that might scare away the real ragers who are hurt when reading too much? | y u mostly nice and not kiddies flaming, it's the interwebs after all?!?!?? It does not compete! |
t3_38oaz4 | relationships | My girlfriend [20 F] and I [20 M] decided to go on break from our relationship. I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend and I have been together for a little under 2.5 years. Towards the last 4 months of our relationship, we had many minor arguments. Last month she suggested we "go on a break" because she feels that she needs some space. She said our relationship over the past few months also felt forced. I reluctantly agreed.
During the 1 month break, I have evaluated how I acted in the relationship. She said I was clingy, annoying and at times an obligation - she was right. I'm not an emotive person and she said it was difficult to know if I was upset or not. That made her feel like she had to always keep me happy. I was clingy and annoying because I felt like I was losing her and thought spending more time with her would be the solution. I've since worked to improve on those qualities that she hated as well as myself in general. I haven't spoken to her much during the break.
Our break is about to end soon. We're going to meet and discuss how we feel about this relationship. I genuinely love her and I think our relationship can be fixed. I'm not exactly sure what to say to get her back and to get her to give us another try. Any suggestions would be most welcome. | Girlfriend and I went on a break. Break is about to end and I'm not sure what to say to get her back. |
t3_52toyo | relationships | [25F] dating someone [31M] who has been cheated on | I've been dating this person for over a month, I met him last year. He had an 8 year relationship with a person he lived with since the very beginning of the relationship, and they broke up by the end of last year because he had stopped enjoying the relationship and wanted to grow apart from her.
We started dating around june this year and this is when he finds out this woman he was with had cheated on him last year while they were still together.
They have spoken a lot about it but he's obssesed with knowing what went wrong to learn from it and never let it be repeated, but she won't tell the truth and even if she did, he has trouble believing her. I wanna help him get over it but I don't know if he'll get over it, how could I help him?
Should i stay by his side or step aside?
Can this be helped? | dating person who was cheated on last year after 8 years of relationship. Do we have a future and can I help him get over it? |
t3_ub7fq | AskReddit | I have a fight scheduled for the end of June and need to gain 5-10lbs. Any nutritionists or fitness gurus out there? | I am an amateur boxer who normally fights in the Lightweight division. I have been trying to gain weight for the past few years and my attempts have all failed. I tried to going to the nutritionists in my area but they were all unreasonably expensive and my family doctor simply told me I have a fast metabolism which isn't much help. I've tried a lot of different things on my own like eating around 6,000 calories a day including a gram of protein for each pound of body weight. After a couple months I had only gained a pound or two so I abandoned the painful and time consuming process of eating that much. I have a feeling I probably was just eating the wrong kinds of food at the wrong times of the day. But that's why I'm here for help. I need to find a sort of diet plan that can put on lean mass quickly so I can make weight for my next fight. Thanks for the help Reddit! | I can not gain weight when I try. I need a detailed day to day diet plan that can put on 5-10lbs of lean mass in a months' time. |
t3_2pvo1z | offmychest | I take back every man thing I said | So all day I was under the impression a very important package, filled with gifts for my nieces and nephew, was stolen of my porch. Then my youngest half sister is told by ups that is at one of their annex centers. After a 30 minute drive out there and a 20 minute wait I leave sad because the package isn't there. I tearfully call my oldest half sister (sender of said package) only to find out she talked to a ups guy who said the package was at my neighbor's. So after having driven over an hour (we got stuck waiting for the freight train) driving we discover the box on the porch of our very elderly neighbor. So now my little nuggets will have a wonderful Christmas and get to open presents from Santa!
I hope this makes sense... it hardly made sense as it was happening to me! | I thought people were terrible but it turns out ups is dumb and my sisters are idiots that I would do anything for. |
t3_lxag8 | AskReddit | Waiting for my time to end... | I have forgotten my reddit password. I have tried every combination of every password I have ever used to no avail. I was stoned when I made my account, and have no possible idea of what the password could be. One of the greatest regrets of my reddit life was not verifying an email right when I set up an account, so I have no way to find out my password. I know that I have only a month under my belt, but I've had a lot of fun times with this account and it breaks my heart knowing that one day my internet history will be erased and I will lose my reddit life forever. Is there another way I can find out my password?
**PLEASE REDDIT DON'T LET ME BE LOST INTO INTERNET DARKNESS | Forgot my reddit password, too lazy verify an email, will lose reddit life when internet history is erased. Please reddit is there another was to find out my password?!? |
t3_3xw6i3 | relationships | What are some helpful ways to cope with being turned down [28M] by my wife [27F]. | We have wonderful sex when it happens, but recently my wife has been very stressed out, which is understandably putting a major dampener on her libido. I keep getting frustrated by the lack of the usual sex, and I know that it is making her feel bad/stressed about rejecting my advances. I don't want to hurt my wife's feelings, and I know that things will get better once she feels like we can have pressure free sex and her stress is relieved.
What do you folks do when you want to have sex, but your partner doesn't? Masturbating isn't enough, because it's the emotional AND physical connection I want. | I want more sex. Wife is stressed. It's creating a mismatch in desire and I don't want to make her more stressed with me being upset. Teach me how to deal better. |
t3_dpujf | AskReddit | A question about night terrors. | Hi Friends. My lady friend sees things in the room at night. Really messed up shit. About twice a week she'll wake up around 3am and start calling my name in a panic because there's "something" somewhere nearby and it's freaking her out. Sometimes she'll become fully awake and it'll still be there, sometimes it'll fade as she comes out of it. Usually I'm able to put her back to sleep in a few minutes, but there have been more than a few times in which we've had to stay up with the lights on for an hour or more just so she can calm down.
Things she has seen in the room include, but are not limited to:
-A giant spider crawling on the ceiling.
-Her grandmother, at 8 years old, standing at the foot of the bed.
-A girl with a muscular disorder that makes her jerk violently when she bends at the waist trying desperately to climb onto the bed.
-Tentacles.
-A baby in the corner of the room.
-Her father in his mid-20s. Just standing there.
-Once, she began calling my name and I reached out to help her. Upon seeing my face she began screaming bloody murder. When she heard her own scream she covered her ears like the sound was hurting her, and then screamed louder. It took me a good 45 seconds to get her to stop. No idea what she was seeing in my face, just said it "wasn't you."
The list goes on.
My question: Does anyone have any experience with this, and is there something we can do about it? It's not destroying her quality of life, but it leads to a lot of really difficult nights of sleep. And also it creeps me the fuck out.
Also, she's very opposed to any medicinal remedies and doesn't think counseling is necessary. (I tend to agree with her on both accounts.) | Girlfriend sees things in the room at night. Anyone have any info on how to make it stop/ease up? |
t3_sycgi | relationships | New guy in my life...awful texter? | The title pretty much explains it. I'm 19 and he's 21. We've just started dating (2-3 weeks) and are exclusive. We have a great connection and a lot of fun together, but he is an AWFUL communicator over the phone. Sounds like a silly issue, but he's on the college baseball team and gone fairly often, so communication in person can be limited some weeks.
He'll be so sweet in person, and we have a great time together, but when he responds to me his texts rarely say more than "haha," " :) ," or "ya." This can be very frustrating, as it hits my insecurities. Could what seems to be a lack of interest in talking with me mean a lack of interest in me? If we're going to be in a relationship soon, as he says, how can this be remedied? I've tried mentioning it to him before, but nothing really improves it | Just started seeing a guy, he sends unenthusiastic, one word texts and it puts a strain on our relationship when he's away |
t3_2mgsh0 | relationships | Me [16 M] with my "best" friend [16 F] over a year, I used to like this person but I don't, now she's attached | I used to like this girl, story about it is irrelevant. I chased her for quite some time but I finally realised that it just wasn't meant to be, it hurt and blah blah blah, but I feel as if im almost completely over it, The only thing holding me back is the fact that we are very very very close friends now and she relies on me to cheer her up and things like that.
She likes talking to me and says I put her in a good mood and she's always laughing around me and keeps telling me I'm such a great friend. But I just can't talk to her without some feeling cropping up again sometimes.
I want to sever this friendship but it's strong and I don't know how. If I can do this im sure I can get over it all. How do I let her down gently? | Used to like this girl, don't anymore. now shes attached to our strong friendship and i don't know how to break it without hurting her. |
t3_1stauw | relationships | My relationship feels like Schrödinger's cat (23m/24f) | Okay, well I guess I will give the condensed version, or else we will be here all day.
My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and lived together for 1 & 1/2 of those years. Recently we got into a huge fight and the end result was me telling her to take some time to see if she really wants this long term.
Forward two days and she asks me to look in her phone to figure out when she is supposed to go in for her second job (she worked at gamestop a few years ago and quit because she got a job that paid better, she was just helping part time during the holidays). Well as I am scrolling through, I see two messages that really bother me. One says '... Thinking about seeing you makes my pants swell' and the other which had been sent before the previous was her telling him they may have to split the pill but she has 72 hours to get it.
I confront her about it and she says she slept with a coworker whom I don't really know. We argue about this all day, her saying I am unfair because I told her she can figure out what she wants etc. She yells at me for not communicating with her what I really meant.
Later that night, I am sitting in the bathroom (the only place I can get away from her at this point) and she bursts in and tells me that she didn't sleep with anyone. She said she had been planning on sleeping with her boss but freaked out when I saw the messages thinking I would cost him his job.
At this point I feel like I am observing the Schrödinger's cat experiment. There is no way I can verify one story over another, and the fact she would lie to me all day, then come clean so she can sleep at night (her words not mine) means I can't trust her word.
So which is it, did she sleep with this third person, did she sleep with her boss, did she do nothing and just intend on sleeping with her boss?
Any advice on how to handle it? | fiance said she slept with a coworker, then changes her story to say she had planned on sleeping with her boss. |
t3_42jr0h | tifu | TIFU by accidentally deleting 2 years of photos | I was going through my cell phone tonight and remembered that I used to use Photobucket a few years ago with my old phone as a free online backup for photo storage. I checked out my account to discover I had a ton of old photos, but they desperately needing organizing if I wanted to find anything.
So, I began the process of sorting.
Now, I'm aware that Photobucket is a shitty site, so their app is just as horrendous.
I had organized at least 45 pages of photos, and I decided to put the rest into one folder so I could finish going through it all tomorrow. All 2,000 of them.
Except, as I said, the app sucks. Somehow, I hit a wrong button and suddenly? The album was empty.
Two years' worth of photos ... whoosh.
Oops. | Used Photobucket a while back for photo storage, went back to organize, hit wrong button, lost 2 years of old stuff. |
t3_1goq2g | AskReddit | Why do they like him? | My teenage son has slow processing speed and ADD. He struggles with every part of his life, but the teen girls in his school are always texting him. My wife and I can't understand what they see in him. He doesn't want his hair cut, so it is a shaggy unkempt mess. He doesn't wash it, so it's always greasy and stinks. He doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't wash every day, and wears dirty clothes. He is 17 and we gave him a car when he was 15, but we just ended up selling it because he doesn't want to learn to drive. He has no motivation in life. All he wants to do is play his guitar and play video games. When the girls text him, he either ignores them or talks about the Beatles or video games. He sends them links to youtube videos of people playing songs or clips of people playing video games. Then asks over and over if they watched the video. But, even with all of this, he still goes through about 1000 texts a month from girls. He never sees any of them outside of school. So, what attracts girls to a kid like this? | My 17 year old doesn't wash, doesn't talk, doesn't go out, but still gets 1000 texts a month from girls. Why? |
t3_1dr6mc | relationships | Is it okay for me [f 28] to install LeechBlock/Nanny on my boyfriend's [30] computer without his consent? | He's 30, I'm 28, and we've been together for 9 years.
Basically, he needs to find a job, apply to grad schools, and take care of a bunch of other crap. All of which he HAS been making progress on. I just think he could make better progress if he didn't waste so much time on the internet, specifically message board sites.
He also has depression and I think his mental health will benefit from limiting his internet time and going outside, volunteering, etc.
I think if I limit his time on specific sites to two hours a day, that would be reasonable. I myself have Leechblock to curb my reddit/facebook addiction.
I think he'll be pissed but I am ready to deal with that consequence. It is for his own good!
What do you think? | I want to install Leechblock or Nanny on my bf's computer, without his consent, to curb his internet time-wasting. Is this okay? |
t3_13sgr8 | AskReddit | Reddit, am I in the wrong? | I have a friend who I have known for more than three years. Whenever I introduce him to a friend of mine, he starts contacting them and hanging out with them without me. Recently, we had a big falling out (due to something completely different) and out of respect to him, I didn't hang out with his friends or really contact people who were closer to him because I didn't want them to have to choose sides or be uncomfortable. Little did I know that he's been hanging out with my friends, inviting them over to his house for dinner without me. I feel really left out because these are people that I've introduced to him and they're my friends. I confronted him about it and he is adamant that he has done nothing wrong because they became his friends as well the moment I introduced them to him. Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? | Am I in the wrong for being angry when my friend goes out/hangs out with someone I introduced him to without me? |
t3_5451j4 | relationships | I [26 F] love my boyfriend [37 M] of 2.5 years, but I still think about other men. | I love my boyfriend. Immensely. We frequently discuss spending our lives together, and I can imagine a generally happy future with him. Since he's a bit older, and has been divorced, I feel he is getting ready to slow down. I am a bit younger, and I feel I have a lot of energy left to use before I settle down, have kids, etc... And on top of it, I still get that excited feeling when I think about other guys, some old friends, some guys I've just met - you know, that feeling you get when you meet someone new, and you want to flirt! I feel awful about it because I love my boyfriend and would never do anything to hurt him. But I think about it all the time, wondering if he is the right one... if there ever really is the right one... if you just keep floating between partners until youre too tired to start over again... I just feel confused - am I lying to myself that I am ready to be in a committed relationship? Or am I experiencing normal thoughts and will get over this?
When do you slap yourself in the face and wake up from being young and single to settle into a routine and serious relationship - and when do you stop thinking about other people in a romantic way?
Help.. | I've been committed to my boyfriend for almost 3 years, but I think about other people daily, and feel immense anxiety about settling down. |
t3_29egez | running | High heart rate while running - should I stop / change something? | Hi guys, M27, 1.75m @ 80kg (5' 8.9" @ 176 lb) here. I've recently changed my diet quite a bit and became way more active. So I've lost already a few kg and I'm on my way to a healthy weight.
Now I'm usually biking, where something like 50km (31 miles) isn't really an issue for a nice afternoon tour on the weekend. But my bike is currently in the repair shop and since I wanted to do something yesterday I decided to go running. Since I roughly know what I can do and can't do I decided on a 1 minute running, 1 minute walking interval. The whole run was over 10km (6.2 miles) and took me about 75 minutes. It was exhausting and at times quite tough, but overall I didn't have a bad feeling.
**Now to the actual issue:**
I monitor my heart rate with a chest belt and this was the run: You can clearly recognize the interval and before walking again my pulse was between 184 and even as high as 194. Within the minute of walking it usually went down below 160, a few times I walked 2 minutes if it didn't go below 160 after 1 minute of walking. Now I've read a couple of times that I shouldn't exercise at such high heart rates and that it could actually damage the heart. I wanted to check in with you guys before I'm getting advice from a doctor. Should I stop? Is it actually dangerous to run this way? What should I change? Thanks for your time and any advice. | Interval running 1 minute running, 1 minute walking. Heart rate up to 195bpm. Should I stop / change something? |
t3_19dmuo | travel | How much extra money should I have to play with on a tour of Europe? | Hey r/travel!
I'm doing a 24 day tour of Europe, followed by some solo-wanderings afterwards, at the end of 2014 (ages away, I know) with my best mate, and because I'm a student with minimal funds, I need to start a budget ASAP.
The tour is with [Topdeck] and [this is our basic itinerary] We're leaving Sydney, Australia in early December, and will be returning early January; which I'm led to believe will be Winter in Europe.
The tour is going to cost $2800 (which includes most meals and accommodation), and we estimate airfares will be another $3,000. Following the tour, we're going to Spain and then Greece for a fortnight or so. Based on some quick google searches, the solo stuff is going to cost us another $1,500 give or take.
So in total, we're going to need around $8,000 minimum for the trip. None of this is booked yet, but this is the plan. My question then, is this: How much more than this should we save up? In fact, any advice at all would be much appreciated, given this is the first time I'll be travelling out of the country without my parents :)
Cheers! | Going to Europe for a month, very minimum amount of money I'll need is 8k, how much more should I save?* |
t3_2klsl8 | relationship_advice | I [27/M] am having serious relationship jealousy over my [25/F] past. Need advice | We've been dating for almost two years now and we fight constantly about her past. She is 25 and I am 27.
For some reason I am extremely noisy and jealous of her past relationships. Prior to us dating, I had gotten out of a 5 year long relationship, which was really my only relationship as I didnt date in high school and part of college. On the other hand, at 23, she had 8 previous official BF's(few of 2+ years and some short term flings) and 8 sexual partners compared to my 3.
I cant help but judge her for parts of her past. She mentioned never being single for more than a month since she was 16, her rationale for dating so much is "why wait." She has dumped a boyfriend of 2.5 years for another guy who she started dating right afterwards. The only time she was single was when she was studying abroad, but that sounds like it was really due to her wanting to have "fun" instead of waiting around on skype to talk with a boyfriend.
A major fight we continue to have is her having sex with a co-worker while we had been seeing each other for about 1.5 months, but weren't yet official. This eventually came out after my constant interrogating.
I love this girl to death, but I cant help but think about stories from her past and becoming upset. This leads to trust issues and her shutting down. I sometimes wish she wasnt so "experienced' so we could try new things and do something that she hasnt already tried with a previous lover or boyfriend. | Having issues accepting parts of my gf's past. Looking for advice on how to cope with this and move past it. |
t3_100mtd | relationships | Guys, I'm (f) incredibly jealous, but I don't want to be. | I've been with my current SO for going on two years now. I'm 20, he's 22. He was with his last gf for...four years? Something like that.
At any rate, I go through periods of good and bad - the bad being that I will get irrationally angry at him because I do not feel "good enough" or some other bullshit my head makes up. Then I go online and see what she's up to - some hipster shit (that I happen to sort of enjoy, which makes it worse).
I'm sick and tired of going through this! It's not his fault, but I really can't stop myself when I start feeling this way. I'm thinking about going to see a therapist, working out some issues, but until then what sort of things do you guys do to get over jealousy? | I get super jealous every once in a while for no reason, I'd like advice on how to combat this until I get enough $ for a trip to the therapist. |
t3_438gt3 | relationships | My friend [18 M] is hellbent on breaking up a couple. How can I [19 M] stop him? | So sometime in August of last year a couple of new people were brought into our circle of friends. My friend, William [17 M] got real close with one of them, May[F 17]. I [19 M] too got close to one of them a bi kid named Angel [M 20]
William was planning to ask May to be his girlfriend. But he was a day late, literally the day before May had gotten with Angel. She also turned down William in a not-so-pleasant way. (We were both kinda hurt)
Around Thanksgiving we conspired to break them up. We planned this out. About a week ago I realized that it isn't worth it to break up a relationship just to make myself feel better. (That and the fact that everyone say they'll break up in a few months.)
I tried to talk William out of it but he seems hellbent on this. I've never seen him so riled up about a girl before, he's been sour about break ups and rejection but nothing like this.
So how can I stop him? Or What can I do to prevent something awful from happening to either parties. | Friend is super salty about a girl getting with someone else and wanted to destroy the relationship and I helped plan. Now I don't wanna do it but he still does. How do I stop him? |
t3_2vy7qj | relationships | My [19F] mother may disapprove of my relationship with my boyfriend [20] of 4 months if she finds out of his family problems | My boyfriend and his mother don't speak to each other very much because he resents that she beat him and his sister as children and because of her toxic argumentative and paranoid attitude, as well as arguments with her husband (that never get violent). Thus, she doesn't interfere or speak much the couple times I've gone over and she's there. My mom is very cautious and a bit nosy and while she doesn't like or dislike my boyfriend and believes him to be a good guy overall, she's become more concerned that I don't have much to say about his mother (while I've had conversations with his father). I've been protective of him whenever she asks if there's something wrong because I don't want to tell her his personal problems, but I'm starting to become a bit upset that she might not be supportive of our relationship if she finds out.
I do want him to be able to develop a healthier relationship with his mother but I understand where he's coming from (personal experience as well) and don't want to push him, and I haven't pried him for information unless he volunteers to talk about it.
I really don't know what to do at this point. We've known each other for 3 years though we only really started hanging out for about half a year and dated for 4ish months. He's one of very very few people I know who shares a personality so similar to mine with similar humour, interests, values. I really don't want my mom to judge him or our relationship because of his family issues but I don't know how much more I can protect him. | Mother doesn't know about boyfriend's stressful family environment, I'm afraid she'll disapprove of our relationship and pressure me to leave if she finds out. |
t3_2j3laf | relationships | Falsely Accused of Cheating | My husband and I have been married for almost two years. For marriages, this is a very short amount of time for what we have been through.
We are in our early 20's. I'm a full-time student and employee. I'm sure that you can imagine the amount of time I invest in these things to maintain a 4.0.
He works, but has plenty of free time on his hands.
Tonight, I was accused of cheating.
I met a classmate at a coffee shop for a few hours to work on an assignment. That's all. Throughout that time, I was continuously receiving texts asking why I hadn't answered my phone. When I saw the light blink, I let him know that my phone was on silent and apologized. He proceeded to text regarding my whereabouts and when I would be home. This is regular behavior for him.
I have always been truthful and faithful to him. I'm just busy and tired, that's all. Regardless of how many times I explain it, it's never enough. I'm just trying to be successful. I don't feel that he genuinely respects what I'm doing. I can understand loneliness, but we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. I spend time with him as much as I can. This is just a lapse in time.
I don't know if I can keep up with this behavior. It's starting to become manipulative and catty. | I work and study a lot. My husband is ticked off and thinks that I'm cheating. What would you do? |
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