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t3_33umyw | legaladvice | My dog gets attacked, lady claims she will pay the big vet bill, I feel like it is not going to happen (California, SD) | Hello r/LegalAdvice and thank you in advanced!
I was at the dog park with my 8 month old bull mastiff. He has been in obedience training since he was 2 months old. I have a certified dog trainer that can testify on my behalf as to how well trained he is. I am at an off leash dog park with him, it is a very busy park, and another "aggressive" breed is kind of walking around the park bullying the place up. He is 95lbs (I asked when she first arrived because the sucker was huge and I was curious) and the owner was this tiny little 105lbs woman that couldnt control her untrained dog if her life depended on it.
Peter (my dog), was minding his own business when her dog decides he is no longer a fan of him and starts pretty violently biting his face and eye. This is not a one snap and walk away, this is dog fighting style, over and over and over again over powering my puppy and she can not get him to stop. Peter cowards down the entire time, does not fight back.
He is bleeding very badly from his eye ball. bites all over his neck and face.
Get her number and full name on the spot. Call her to make sure it is a real number and make sure it is a real name, everything checks out. We disappear and immediately go to the hospital obviously. She sends me text messages saying how she will send a cashiers check the next day covering the cost, blah blah blah. It is pretty clear this has most definitely happened before and she just doesn't want me to report her dog. Whatever, I just want my dog to be ok and I am glad it wasn't a small child (or an adult for that matter). Its been 2 weeks. No money. I really need the money to be honest.
What should I do now? I can't really afford a lawyer. I am a disabled combat veteran if that helps or if anyone knows some programs out there for us. | My puppy gets attacked at dog park clearly by a problem dog. Lady says she will pay up. Been too long. I want my damn money. |
t3_2v0uqj | relationships | I (m23) was a creep towards by sister (f24) as a teenager. Am I a terrible person? | Im 23 now and my sisters 18 months older than me, I was creepy towards her when I was a teenager and I feel bad thinking about the way I treated her. We are not close at all now and I believe this may be the reason why.
When our parents sent us to bed of a night I would often sneak into my sisters room and cuddle in her bed and watch tv, it was completely innocent on her part but I used to get off on it. Sometimes before going to bed I would turn her heating up really high so she would wear as little as possible. I would pretend to fall asleep with my hand brushed against her breast or in the spooning position. I think my sister realised what was happening because she put a stop to it and I wasn't welcome in her bed anymore.
I used to view her as a sexual object, she caught me spying on her sunbathing in the back garden, i used to steal her dirty panties and worse. | Am I a terrible person? I think of myself as a good person but feel bad when I think of this. I have changed since. |
t3_1wjny7 | relationships | I [21 M] have been with my girlfriend [22 F] for 3 and a half years, and I need some advice | I've been with my girlfriend since the end of highschool, and we've done everything together. She's been looking at houses and wants to settle down together.
Lately i've been feeling like I need to have a single life before I commit to a mortgage and a life long relationship.
After explaining this to her, she thinks that there isn't anything I could do as a single man, that we couldn't do together (travel, go out more, etc.)
I honestly just want to experience the single life just so I know how it feels to have fun without fear of consequences or checking in with a girlfriend. Any advice on how to break this to her? | Girlfriend wants to settle down, I want to be single for a while, but don't know how to break the news to her |
t3_28w9sl | jobs | Landed an great new job, and here's how I did it. | Here's a little back story:
I finished my MBA about 6 months ago (while working full-time, in my career field) I started looking and searching over a year ago. You know, the usual job search sites like Indeed, Monster, CareerBuilder, etc. Submitted hundreds of resumes, cover letters and references. Filled out countless applications and online pre-qualification tests. Never heard back from a single one. I sent my resume to a professional, she had a few suggestions but overall said it was an awesome resume and she would love to see that as a hiring manager. I even created my own professional website/online resume to help network myself even more. I was down and out and ready to give up altogether when I finally discovered the full functionality of LinkedIn and networking with other contacts. WOW! Within a few days I had contacted a few companies and setup 4 interviews. I am happy to say that I start my new position as a Vice President on August 1st!
Some other tips:
-Think outside the box. I work in the beer industry, so my business cards are now bottle of homebrew beer with a custom label that features a QR code that links to my Resume website.
-Try the paid version of LinkedIn. its like $30 per month, but you get access to more advanced features for job searching and things like InMail which let you contact people directly.
-Don't be afraid to reach out to strangers. Be brief and direct, most of the time people will be more than happy to give you 5 minutes of their attention if it will help you out.
-Never give up. Keep searching and keep networking. It is very daunting but it will happen with persistence.
Hope this helps all you job searchers out there, I wanted to share my story and share what worked for me. Good Luck! | Couldn't break through the web-based job search barrier, used LinkedIn for a month, got offered a VP role in my current industry, currently celebrating. |
t3_4gbijs | relationships | Me [32 F] with my best friend [32 F] of ten years, we've both just suffered breakups and now she wants to start something with her married boss. I was cheated on and I don't feel I can support her. | I've known my best friend since I was ten years old and she has often made questionable choices in her love life. I accept that we have different approaches to these things and mostly I accept it, thought there are a few key things we disagree upon.
Two years ago my partner cheated on me after many years together and naturally I didn't take it well. My friend knows my stance on cheating (which wasn't that different prior to the bad experience, honestly) so she didn't tell me when something recently happened between her and her married boss.
I think she was in denial and didn't want to think about it, but then she came out with "I didn't want to talk to you about it because I knew you'd lecture me/try to give me advice and I knew it would be exhausting."
This is exactly a problem I had in the relationship I just got out of, my need to over-analyse and discuss everything is a major problem for the men I've dated and now I'm hearing the same thing from my best friend - they can't talk to me about important things because I am too intense.
So I know I need to learn to let things go, and not be so black and white, but is this the thing I should start with? What she gets up to is none of my business but I hate that she hid it from me because she knew I wouldn't approve. Hiding it is the biggest issue but then I accept I'm hard to talk to about this stuff.
I also think it will affect our relationship because now it's this thing that we will have to not talk about because we can't reach an agreement. Talking about relationships is a big part of our friendship so this is likely to make things really one sided or shallow.
I'm all for improving myself and realising that letting things go/picking my battles is something I absolutely need to do for myself and my future happiness, but it infuriates me that she is happy to accept that this is the type of person she is/wants to be and wants my support as well. | Friend is making bad choices and wants me to stand idly by without giving her a big lecture or showing my disapproval. What would you guys do? |
t3_i3p8f | AskReddit | Brookstone Frog-o-Sphere: a color leaching death trap? | Ok, so I work at a large chain pet store where we sell a ton of animals, but also lots of live freshwater fish.
This customer came in a few days ago and I helped her get a live plant and some water conditioner so she could do a water change on her [Brookstone Frog-o-sphere](
Anyway, we chat for a bit, then she buys her stuff and leaves. Then yesterday she comes back with a very sad look on her face. She said she did her partial water change, added the water conditioner I sold her, and within the next 2 days, her frogs and betta started acting really weird, and eventually died. Even weirder was when she went to clean the tank out. She said after she poured out the "living gravel," a whole bunch of leached gravel color/paint came out as well. She said in all her times of changing the water before, she never saw the leached color. This brought her to the conclusion that the water conditioner must have somehow been the culprit, since this was the first time she used it and not 24 hr distilled tap water.
Is that possible? I've used and recommended water conditioner for years and never had or heard of this problem. We don't sell them, so I've never seen a frogosphere in person and don't know much about them, except the general online consensus that they are small, poorly designed death traps for dwarf frogs. But that seems kinda wacky that water conditioner would cause the gravel to leak its color and kill the tank.
What is going on here?? Anyone else heard of this or had it happen? According to the customer, no where in the directions does it say do or do not use water conditioner, so we are both stumped. I did a light search online and can't find anything relating to this issue at all, which strikes me as odd that this would be such an isolated occurrence. | frogosphere gravel leaked paint into tank and possibly killed fish and frogs. Is water conditioner to blame or brookstone? |
t3_1vcn78 | relationships | I experienced abuse as a child, and now I have trouble with conflict and conflict resolution. More info inside. | As I stated in the title, I (24 male) had an abusive childhood (thanks to my father) which has left me troubled with conflict and resolution.
The trouble: Sometimes something fairly innocuous will set me off, and I get really angry, really fast. Like zero to sixty in two seconds. Then it is difficult for me to calm down, which makes resolution hard to achieve too.
I believe this is where the abuse comes into play- I NEED that resolution. Almost two conflicting emotions there- desire for resolution, and anger. I should specify that this only happens with the people closest to me. Only those I love.
If anyone has any tips on what I could do to help remain calm and not lose control of my emotions, I would greatly appreciate them. Thank you. | I was abused and this has left me with trouble regulating my emotions. I would like some tips or suggestions on what I can do to retain my calm, in conflict or argument type situations. |
t3_171kak | relationship_advice | [18m] I like a girl [18f] she doesn't like me back, at least I dont think she does. | I like this girl, We have been friends for almost a year now. I started to like her. Ever since we stayed up on xbox live all night. I see her once in awhile. We talk on facebook a lot. I feel odd when I don't talk to her. Like I'm missing something. We I make her laugh its an unbelievable feeling. I think it's the most attractive thing I find about her. Besides her personality. She plays xbox, reddits, into anime, watches the same tv shows, and not to mention she is beautiful. I thought she liked me, then I told her I liked her. Then she told me she understands my feelings. I said alright and kept talking to her. Waited a bit and told her again. She said I was going overboard. I stopped talking to her for 3 weeks. I really missed talking to her. So I started talking to her on NYE. We ended up talking on xbox for 4 hours. I could just talk to this girl for days I swear. I love her, first time I have loved a girl since like 2 years ago. I wish she would tell me likes me at least... Maybe we are better off as friends. Maybe I'm just holding out for the wrong reasons. I hope you can give me some advice. | I like a girl who I think likes me but told hasn't really told me. I'm crazy for this girl. |
t3_3dx8r9 | relationships | How can I get my girlfriend to lose weight or should I break up if I get stingy over a few pounds. | we're both 23.
I've currently been dating someone for about a month but have known them for at least six. I was very attracted to my girlfriend when I first met her and I guess I didn't really notice until we started dating that she has put on about 10-15 pounds.
She has a great personality and I really get on with her but I just don't currently find her attractive. I've asked her about her weight but she says she's happy where she is and she feels healthy.
I feel shallow asking her that I need her to lose those ten pounds as if I was dating long term it would be easy for someone to put on ten pounds and then i'd suddenly not find the person attractive again.
I'm just wondering if it would be nicer to break up then force her to lose weight when she's happy where she is :( | I want my girlfriend to lose weight but also feel it might be me who is too fussy who can't find girlfriend attractive when she puts on a few pounds. |
t3_3resib | relationships | Me [20 M] with a girl I met at a party [20 F] last weekend. We're really into eachother, but she's from out of town. | ... Turns out she doesn't go to the same school as me (we met at a party just off-campus of the school I attend). She goes to a school an inconvenient distance away from me; it's easily drivable, but probably only practical on weekends.
Anyways, we met at a party last Saturday (Halloween). And we almost instantly hit it off. It was crazy, I've never felt such a strong connection with ANYONE that quickly before... I later overheard her friends giving her shit about how obvious it was that she was flirting with me, so I asked her to dance. We made out a bit and she demanded my number at the end of the night. We've been texting for the past few days pretty regularly, but I haven't texted her today cause I've been super busy.
So, to keep things general, how should I keep things going here? I'm super into her. Like really really into her. She's so damn pretty and just really cool in general. And she seems really into me, but how do I deal with the distance? And how often should I be texting her?
Sorry these questions seem so dumb, I haven't really dated since high school and I really don't wanna screw this up. | Met a really awesome girl at a party and want to keep things going. Where do I go from here? How often should I text? |
t3_2wmtnj | relationships | So this guy (M/24) now hates me (F/22) because I wouldn't cheat on my long-term boyfriend with him? | So this is a guy I was just friends with for a while. Recently he told me he has feelings for me and kept sending me these crazy messages about how he always thinks about my body and everything.
I told him I have a bf so it can't happen. He kept on telling me how he's liked me for so long already and we need to have a secret relationship asap and he doesn't care about me having a bf he just wants at least a part of me like now.
Again I said no I can't let it happen, I told him it's not fair to him or my bf and even if I did try something, it would be very selfish of me to do so. He flipped out and told me how is it unfair when he's okay with the whole situation as it is, and I'm crazy for always being so hesitant and fearful. He said that the fact that I don't even wanna try anything is what hurts him, that he would rather get with me and THEN be rejected by me rather than not try anything at all.
I Apologized once again and told him my reasons again and I know I hurt him for not trying. But I need to do things for my sake too. And a cheater is something I don't wanna be labeled as.
After that he said our friendship is over that he has liked me for over a year now and having feelings for me was all time wasted and he told me never to speak to him again and he wishes we had never met.
I'm a nice girl....I'm not used to this kind of drama at all..:( I feel messed up and anxious now. Is it even worth trying to salvage the friendship? My gut tells me not to bother but we have been friends for quite a long time..so I don't know what to do? | this guy I was once good friends with wants nothing to do with me because I won't cheat on my bf with him. Is it worth salvaging the friendship? |
t3_136oxn | loseit | Hi Loseit, I need some help with calories here! | Basic info - 20 years old. I workout 4 days in the gym for nearly >1 hour. Do medium cardio and strength training.
3 years ago, I was a fat, ugly jackass. Fell in love. Got rejected. Thought the girl was right in rejecting me since I was an ugly, fat monster. 6 months later, I lost a lot of weight and got compliments from many people.
Ever since then, I vowed to keep myself in shape. I have been going to gym, more or less regularly since the the 2 years.
However, I have always struggled with my belly fat. The damn thing just refuses to go. I have realized that I need to do a calorie deficit so that I can lose the belly fat, which is what my aim is.
Excluding my dinner, my total calorie intake for the day comes to about 1200 calories. This remains more or less the same on all 7 days of a week.
I do have a habit of eating outside food once or twice a week. It is something which I simply cannot resist. Last week, I decided that I will eat outside but something that which won't bust my calorie chart.
I have been eating Subway's Roasted Chicken Salad with Chicken Tikka and all veggies. No cheese.
The problem is, I have no idea how much calories this salad has. Its quite filling. It taste's okay and gets the job done for me. If it has okay amount of calories, I would love to eat it on days when I feel like eating outside.
I am looking to keep my daily calorie intake somewhere around 1400-1500 mark. Is that enough or do I need to go lower? I already eat so less. Really hope I don't need to go any lower.
Any help? | How many calories are there in a Subway Roasted chicken salad with chicken tikka. Includes all veggies, no cheese. |
t3_3e7c7h | college | Living in an off-campus house with a small bedroom, I need ideas for the setup | So I am living in an off-campus house in august for my sophomore year at the University of Delaware. I went down to check out the place and hang out with my roommates who have already moved in a couple of weeks ago.
The house is great but my room is kind of small. The dimensions are 8ft long X 7ft 6in wide X 8ft high, and don't think I could even fit a full bed in there. However, I am not complaining, since as a college student I have a lot of experience in maximizing the usage of small amounts of space. That being said, this is the first time I am living in a place that I have free reign over what I do to it, meaning that I can get whatever furniture I want, drill whatever holes into the walls I want and paint the room whatever color I want.
I am no architect and I don't really have much of a knack for spacial design. I am, however, an electrical engineering major with very good mechanical skills as well as an adequate amount of cash from working all summer. Basically, the sky is the limit for this room and I am looking for ideas on how I can make it the coolest room at the school. If anyone has any design ideas, ideas for cool stuff I can hook my room up with or has designed a sick room of their own in the past, let me know! | I have the permission, resources and knowledge to design a bedroom and install pretty much anything into it. Looking for ideas or plans, the room is 8ftL X 7.5ftW X 8ftH |
t3_4hwtou | personalfinance | Just downloaded Mint and started tracking things to baby-step my personal finance learning. What else to do? | Finance has always been my weakest subject in life since I grew up not learning anytihng about it and inheriting poor habits from family about paying and $ and such.
A little overwhelmed with where to start but I figure I would start small to build momentum so I don't give up.
I downloaded mint and added my accounts and started changing some of the fields for my charges so it can track better. Not sure what else to do with mint or what to look for but at least now I can see easily where my money is going.
My next steps are to get health insurance, then some sort of retirement fund (self employed, currently have no funds).
Are there any other big things to do that create the most gain in knowledge or effectiveness? OR any tips on mint / etc. | DL'ed mint and started tracking but don't know what exactly I should look at, and don't know what my next baby-steps are for most efficient personal-finance. |
t3_nrp11 | AskReddit | I think my store manager is interested and flirting with me. What do I do? | I am interested in her, she's cute and nice and all the good stuff. One, I'm not sure if she's flirting/showing interest ir if im reading it the wrong way. An ex used to tell me I was completely oblivious when girls would hit on me. And two if I want to proceed, how do I go about it? I'm entry level and she's the assistant manager.
So here's what I've got. She transfered to our store a few weeks ago or so. She was really friendly off the bat. One day I invited the whole store to come out and watch my band, and everyone bullshitted their way out but her. She was excited to go. She wrote her number down and told me to text her the details (show got cancelled though).
This is where it seems she's getting a little playful. Our store had a Holiday dinner at Shakeys Pizza parlor. When I showed up that morning to work she asked if I was going. That night I got there with some co workers (including supervisors and the head manager) and she wasnt there. We start eating and I get a text from her that was basically "Hey Cxhops, are you there yet?" I said yes and she responded "Alright see you there :)" A few minutes pass and someone asked everyone where she was. No one said anything so I told them she had texted me she was coming. Abiut 3 or 4 people asked why she had texted me and not one of the management people. By the end of the night we ended up a few seats down the table from everyone else (as people left) and just chatted with each other.
One night I had to open the next morning, and I got a text from her saying "Hey! We open together tomorrow!"
Finally, when we're working together she sometimes touches me when she says thank you e.g. "thanks for cleaning the counters". Shell put her hand on my shoulder or back as she walks by. I havent seen her do this eith anyone else.
Thoughts? | I can't tell if my manager is showing signs of interest, and I don't know how to chase her since werewcoworkers. |
t3_28bjiy | relationships | I [21 M] have been with my girlfriend [21 F] for four years, and tomorrow I'm planning to end the relationship because I want to be single, but I feel so uncertain. | I already broke up with her a few weeks ago but, when we met up soon after, I agreed that I had been overly hasty, and so we decided to go on a break instead.
It was all a bit out of the blue for her, I had told her that I was thinking about ending it a few months prior, but we patched it up and, when the doubts returned, I kept them to myself (I know, not the best idea). These doubts, which all stem from a sense of wanting to be free for the next chapter of my life, got the better of me and landed me in my current situation.
Now I'm set to meet her tomorrow, after having some space for the past few weeks, and she's expecting me to have come to a conclusion.
I think I want to end things for good, but I'm uncertain because she's a wonderful girl and we really are great together.
The problem is, although I was happy in the relationship, I came up with a plan to travel to Japan to teach English next year, for a year, and I can only really imagine that as an adventure I embark on alone, free from the pressures of a committed relationship.
We've been together since we were 16, and I think I just crave some independence.
Sorry if this is a bit confusing, I'm very confused myself. | Although I feel like I need to end my amazing relationship. I'm not sure whether or not it's the right thing to do. |
t3_29u0dh | relationships | My [M21] bestfriend [M23] has been contacting my ex gf [F24]. Am I overreacting? | Sorry for the throwaway!
My ex and I were together for 8 months and broke up about a month ago because things just didn't work out. My best friend and his now ex gf were dating for 3+ years and they broke up a week after my relationship ended.
I noticed that she posted on his wall on facebook. Nothing serious.
Fast forwarding about 2 weeks ahead. I called my ex to come over last night because well, you know. After we were done, I asked her why she posted on his wall. My ex explained that he hit her up first through facebook message. She showed me their conversation and he did send one of those funny emoji's (I assume as a joke). The message showed that he gave her his number.
She then showed me all of the messages on her phone. There was a lot small talk but I did notice that he texts her "morning" everyday, he did ask her to go hang out and asked her to dinner. My ex keeps asking about his break up and why it ended. My best friend doesn't really open up to people but in the conversation he said that he will open up for her :)
I texted him (because he out doing errands) if he ever communicated with her. He said that he did because he is just being nice by not texting her back. (But he texts her first!!!)
On her part, she thinks that he just needs a friend to talk too. She did bring up his break up a lot because she finds it weird that he keeps on trying to contact her.
I haven't had the chance to talk to him yet and hear his side of the story.
Am I overreacting? I trust my best friend but this is pushing it. | My best friend keeps texting my ex and asking her to hang out after both us ended our relationship about 3-4 weeks ago. Am I overreacting? |
t3_qlg14 | AskReddit | What's your most memorable ಠ_ಠ how could you even think that? | Me and SO of time, both 16. We had been dating for about two weeks, and hadn't done anything more than hold hands and kiss a few times. After playing D&D all night at a friends we started making out, we had the whole living room to ourselves and it pretty quickly got to the point we both just wanna tear each others clothes off... so we do... only to realize neither of us have a condom. After searching our friends' entire house and his car I suggest, "blow job till another time?" This is when he asks, "Well can't we just use a sock, or a sandwich bag?" At first I laughed, then realized he wasn't kidding... ಠ_ಠ "No, no we can't." He really couldn't understand why, and after some time of trying to explain and insisting that the other equally ridiculous household items he suggested could not be used as contraceptive, I had to just leave. We didn't talk much after that. | Didn't have condom, boyfriend wanted to use a tube sock ಠ_ಠ couldn't understand why it wouldn't work |
t3_1nkdtz | relationship_advice | I'm [E20's-M] Seeing a sexually adventurous girl[E20's-F], am I mistaking adventurous with poly-amorous? How can I phrase a question to ask without complicating things? | Hey reddit,
So I have a small dilemma, I've (21m) recently started seeing a girl (mid 20's, f) who could be called adventurous. I won't go into detail.
Besides that, there's a looming end date in roughly 5 months where she moves to a different country for roughly a year. She's let me know that she's currently single, and (I'm paraphrasing) doesn't want to start anything because what's the point. The emphasis was on the KISS principle.
Now, I'd love nothing more than to have 5 months of fun, but the dilemma I'm having personally is:
1. Short term is new to me, is it weird, or acceptable, to have an end date? Go out with a bang, right?
2. With her being adventurous, I believe I am overthinking when I think this means she is poly-amorous? I'd love to ask, because, well, that would be the easy thing to do. But in the essence of keeping it simple, I think that's a question best left for when things are (hopefully) more concrete. ish.
3. I have a date coming up with the gal, and really want to know what exactly is in it for her? Is this a friends with benefits gig, or what? Again, simple keeps me fearful of asking. At the moment, everything is fucking swell (heh, see what I did there?). Last thing I want to do is make it complicated. Is there a good way to ask this and keep it subtle?
Thanks folks, I could use the insight. | Girl wants it to stay simple because of looming end date, is it out of the question to have something relationship-ish? |
t3_2co3ub | relationships | I [16F] don't feel anything between me and my boyfriend [17M] of a little over 2 months | (throwaway account)
My boyfriend and I have been going to a very small school together for the past year. We have very different friend groups/schedules so we only began talking in May. We started a week before school ended, but even when we started dating I didn't see him as anything more than a friend. I have no romantic feeling or attraction to him. I feel like this relationship is so much of a drain on my part that a breakup is inevitable.
He and I have similar interests, but very different focuses in our lives (motivations, social issues, etc...). In addition to this, I have no intention on joining his friend group, and I plan on keeping very busy this entire year. There are also a lot of (I really really hate saying this) better options for me besides him. However, he's been so supportive of me and has been such a great friend that it's hard for me to not feel guilty about this. Almost all of our relationship has been long distance (different towns hours apart), and I don't want to literally phone this in.
Please help me. If you can't tell by my age I'm too inexperienced to manage this on my own. | I'm not attracted to my boyfriend, but he's been a great friend that I have no other reason to end our relationship. |
t3_3xb6ju | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex-girlfriend [18 F] we've been together for 2 years, she felt she's not ready for a relationship/commitment yet after we're together for 2 years. | I'm heart broken now that we're about to break up. She told me she isn't ready to have a relationship despite we having relationship for 2 years.
Those 2 years spent with laughter, tears, adventure and romance that she never experienced before, and she was grateful for me. Until one day.
After taking her space from me (even though we don't meet for months sometimes), she told me she's not ready to have relationship and just wanted to flirt around, despite being actually committed to each other two years ago (She didn't want me meeting with other women, etc).
Despite the things I did for her, like skipping work just to assist her, dropping a lot of things just to reach her, even refused a job offer from overseas from a very large automobile company because she told me she didn't want me leaving her. She just ended our relationship with no emotions or whatsoever.
Are women really like this? I know women are pathological by nature but this is too extreme. One time I really really needed a lift home because my money was gone and I had a deeply wounded leg. I asked her if she could fetch me, she told me she'd do some chores. So I walked home for about 2 hours of pure agony, both physical and emotional.
She became indifferent with me. She canceled our dates last minute. She told me a lot of promises though she didn't do it. She also liked her classmate a lot, she kept telling "I like guys who doesn't notice me". Maybe I gave her too much attention, but it's my nature to give special attention to my loved ones.
I told her to delete our messages at Facebook and phones, even my pictures on her phone, before blocking her. Though she didn't reply yet. I just want out of her life.
What can I do about this? Any tips? I don't know where to start from here. Please help. I have no one else to share this to. I gave her all but she gave me nothing back but pain. | Girlfriend ended our relationship, saying she's not ready for a commitment/relationship despite having our relationship. I don't know what to do now. |
t3_3apozl | weddingplanning | How to narrow down a guest list? Is it wrong to exclude jerk uncle? | So, I'm not really wedding planning yet, but I'm sure we will be engaged soon. Regardless of who/when I marry though, I have a guest list dilemma that has always bugged me and is making me anxious about getting married, like ever.
I want to have a small but traditional ceremony and reception and not elope, but there are some people I'd like to exclude. I have a really sprawling family, my mom has a bunch of half sisters and half brothers from my granny's multiple marriages and we are not a big happy family. I have an uncle who is really cruel but pretends its all humor. I do not get along well with him, his wife or children. Same story with an aunt of mine, and an alcoholic uncle who ruins every social event he goes to. There are more unpleasant people in the mix, too.
I counted all the family I could potentially invite, and the list is like 40 for just me. My bf has a big family too. We have talked about a 30 person wedding. Can someone tell me how they managed in a similar situation? I just want it to be small and intimate and I want to exclude people who just are not positive or important in my life. I feel obligated though, because I'd be inviting Uncle Joe but not Uncle Jim, so it's not like I can say "no uncles or cousins were invited!"
It's wearing on me and making me sort of dread the day I start actually making the guest list. anyone have advice for a similar situation? How did you manage? How did you respond when people "missed" their invite? I dread the confrontation that might come. Looking for similar stories/advice to make this seem less terrifying. | I don't want my whole family at my someday wedding, no idea how to logistically handle telling people "no" and sticking to my guns. |
t3_2874nh | relationships | I [24 M] don't know how to deal with my girlfriends [23 F] of 6 months social issues. Now she's moving here and I'm worried I will be her everything. | I met a girl online about 6 months ago. She was super sweet and she fell for me pretty hard. I liked her too, but didn't feel that instant connection, however.. I didn't want to give up on something potentially great. We both stopped seeing other people and it didn't take long before we were official.
She had just moved here for a job that was only temporary, so she didn't really have a lot of friends and I kind of became her everything. She went back home once her job was done and we've been doing long distance since (like 2 months). I've beginning to notice that it seems like she doesn't have a lot of friends at home either, and she's often sad or upset when I don't give her enough attention. I feel like I give a lot of myself and my time to her, but for obvious reasons such as work etc, I can't always talk on the phone, skype etc.
The other day she told me that she applied for a job where I live, and that's great cause long distance is a pain. She told me that a big part of her moving is because of me. She's nervous about the move and expressed her concern about making friends etc. I feel like I should be excited that she wants to come here to be with me, but I feel like it's too much and too soon. She made this decision without talking to me and I'm worried that she will move here and I will be her everything. It would obviously be nice to have her here, but I want her to move because she wants to. It feels a little unhealthy for her to move and totally rely on me and my friends. Don't get me wrong, I obviously want to help her with her move and make her feel as home as possible.
I feel like I'm still getting to know her and this is a huge step. And I've never really dated anyone that seems to have trouble making friends and having all these insecurities. I really do not know how to deal with this. Would really appreciate your thoughts. | Girlfriend is moving to my town, she has social issues and lots of insecurities and I'm worried I will be her everything here. Does not feel healthy. |
t3_1wu0xc | relationships | My [22 F] live-in boyfriend [21 M] has to go to his best friend's house every day to hang out and it makes me jealous and left out. | I can tell this sounds like overly-attached girlfriend or someone who's super needy, but maybe I am. My boyfriend of 2 years spends 2-5 hours a day at his friend's apartment (who lives in the same apartments as us, just a couple buildings away), playing FIFA and smoking weed and whatever. The friend's girlfriend is over there, too, and everyone always talks about how nice and artistically talented she is and yadda, yadda, yadda.
About me: I have anxiety, mild agoraphobia, and severe bitchiness due to abuse as a kid. I'm working on it, but I feel like I'm not a fun addition to groups. If this were a movie, my guess is that I'd be the character that people would root to be attacked by bees.
I've talked to my boyfriend many times about this, and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Him hanging out with his friends is fine, but it just seems to be all the time, and it hurts my feelings. My only "retaliation" is to in return go hang out with my very good friend/ex boyfriend. I don't really have friends for the reasons aforementioned. | My boyfriend spends an awful lot of time daily having fun at his friends', leaving his shitty girlfriend at home feeling lonely and inadequate. |
t3_3xdqmp | relationship_advice | GFs[21/F] mom [50something] was just diagnosed with cancer. We may be having issues with her boyfriend. | Going to get straight to the point. My GFs mother was recently diagnosed with cancer, she will be going through treatment shortly. Her boyfriend of a couple years wants to get married to her, like immediately. We (GF, other family, and I) are worried that in the case of her passing away then he will just run off with her money. He has been married 4 times, and while being a decent human being, he is not trustworthy in this. I could probably have a nice conversation with the man, but would not trust him with more than a goldfish over the weekend.
My GF is currently trying to get her mom alone to explain this to her, and attempt to convince her to leave her possession to my GF in the case of her passing. That way she can take care of funeral arrangements, pay off her bills, etc.
The first problem is he seemingly will not allow the two to be alone together. So my question is twofold reddit. What can we do to get GF and her mom alone to talk, and what other steps can my GF take in this situation. I am by no means an expert and in fact have absolutely no idea what usually happens in these situation. What do I do. | GFs mom has cancer. Boyfriend wants to marry her immediately in case it becomes terminal so he can run with the money. How do we convince mom that this is not the appropriate course of action. |
t3_4z7xhu | relationships | Friend [M 24] ghosted me [F 24]. Should I forgive him? | Over the last couple of months my friend had stopped responding to me. I tried to contact, but never got a response so I stopped trying. There was no argument and I thought we were on good terms, so I had no idea what the problem was.
Recently, he texted apologizing for not responding and asked if we could meet up and talk, which I agreed to. He basically told me that his girlfriend was jealous of me and that he was concerned that I liked him too much and that put a strain on their relationship. So he thought the easiest way to fix this was to cut me out of his life. After a months, he felt bad and contacted me. I like my friend a lot, but as only a friend, not at all romantically. He kind of laughed it off and said once he ran this by his now fiance, everything should be good and we can be friends again.
The problem is that I don't really want to. I feel betrayed and disrespected by him. I like to have a few very close friends and he had been one of them. I just feel like I mean nothing to him and just want to move on with my life. Am I being overly dramatic? Should I forgive him? I told him I'd think about it and he said that it was fine. I don't know what to do. Part of me never wants to see him again, but I also want to go back being friends with him. | Friends that ghosted me for a couple of months finally responded. We cleared up the misunderstanding and he wants to be friends again and I don't really want to. |
t3_4r7ebz | relationships | My girlfriend (29F) and I (24F) have different expectations of the amount of time we should spend together. | My girlfriend and I have had troubles with the amount of time we spend together previously. I felt like I didn't have time to do the things I needed with the time we had apart. We came to a good solution by doing more necessities together like exercising and grocery shopping etc. I was happy with the outcome.
However, last week I had a really busy week, which triggered my girlfriend texting me this: "I wish you liked hanging out more often during the week. I would prefer to see you more often." She said while last week was particularly bad she's unhappy with the amount of time we spend together in general. Currently we spend 5 out of 7 evenings together and one full day on the weekend.
Now I don't think she's wrong for feeling like that, I'm just really worried that it makes as incompatible.
I love spending time with her. We have heaps of fun together. We've been talking about moving in together for the past few months.
I just don't feel I'll have time to commit to other things that are important to me like my studies, interests and friends if we spend more time together than we do already. I'm very driven and to be honest unwilling to give that part of myself up.
She often says that I have all these other interests and things I care about but when we're not together she's just doing nothing. She has her own friends and family who she spends time with without me sometimes, and I have no problem with her not having the same kind of interests that I do.
But I want to be able to pursue the things that are important to me still, I've already cut down a lot on the amount I do to have more time together. I guess it just feels like a lot of pressure..
I don't know what the solution is. She says there isn't one and that we're just different. But I'm kind of worried as to whether this will be sustainable if there's no solution.
Thanks so much for your thoughts in advance! | My girlfriend is unhappy with the amount of time we spend together and I don't think I have any more to give. |
t3_4bnhtk | legaladvice | Building Manager keeps leaving door to unit open and unlocked (x-post from r/landlord). | 2 times in the last 6 months I've had my building manager come in or repairs or inspection and I have come home to a wide open front door. The first time I talked to him and complained and he genuinely seemed sorry and assured me it would never happen again. Fine, no harm, no foul. But he did it again. Is there any way I can keep him out of my apartment for these things now. I really don't want to come home one day and find my apartment cleared out. I live in a pretty dicey neighborhood in Los Angeles.
Do I have any recourse at all?
Secondary question: He leaves notices for entry that have a window of 9am to 6 pm and then only comes a quarter of the time. Any laws about that, because it sure is obnoxious on my days off. | Is there any way to keep my building manager to stop leaving my front door open and unlocked since he is apparently incapable of learning from his mistakes? |
t3_1gw9nh | BreakUps | Breaking up due to fears and financial situation...again | My ex (28m) and I (24f) broke up 2 days ago. We had been together for almost a year (5 days off our 1 year anniversary) and I feel like my heart has been shattered. We spent so much time together and talked every day. I feel like a piece of me is missing. I feel so empty.
Since we got together his whole life has been stressful due to him trying to become financially independent. And unfortunately he hasn't been very successful. I was as supportive as I could, covering dates whenever I had money (I'm a student) and staying home with him whenever he was too depressed to go out. I was always just happy to watch a movie at home or play a video game with him. But that didn't stop it...it ate away at us. His unhappiness at his financial situation transferred to our relationship. He was always unhappy. Our relationship was still in the beginning phases since this stress started. And I started becoming fearful that this unhappiness could also have to do with our relationship.
About 3 months ago, we took a break for two weeks due to my fears and his stress. I was so hurt for those two weeks. We saw each other after and couldn't stop looking at each other. There was love there. We got back together two days after. He started to dig himself out of the hole and everything was getting better...for a month. After, everything started dropping again and the stress multiplied. It was so hard maintain calm and happiness when he wasn't happy with his life.
We got into an argument two days ago and he broke. He told me it was too much stress he was putting on the relationship. I immediately started crying and I couldn't stop. He said we were done. But he wouldn't say goodbye to me. It was left in the air....that's what kills me.
We are compatible in our interests, in our goals, in physical chemistry, and in what we want for the future. There was happiness in our relationship and we had plans. Now it doesn't seem real. I can't help thinking its bad timing...I have this ridiculous hope. I don't know how to kill it so I can understand that it is over. I would love some advice | Year long relationship, ends due to financial stress twice. I'm broken and I have dumb hope. Would love advice. Don't know what to do |
t3_4lz5cd | relationships | I [17M] am in the middle of parent's who hate each other. | (Mind me, english is not my first language, anyways) First of all i'm new to Reddit but this seems like a nice community, perfect when i have no one to talk with about this topic since i have lost friendships recently, but that's not what im making this post for.
What's this post about? (it'll be a bit long)
I'm almost 18 and my parents have been officially separated since i was 11 (they were separated before for a period of time before), and i never made too much out of it, to be honest i didn't care much about it. But it wasn't until my fair amount of health issues started worsening that they had to keep in contact. I have allergies, a constant tiring rhinitis, and although i haven't been diagnosed, lots of different people say i might have anxiety issues. When i became 14 my health started getting worse, allergy attacks, and breathing issues. This became the only reason why my parents had to start talking again. Idk if i have mentioned before but they hate each other to death.
Now i'm almost 18, and the legal age in my country is 18, so my parents won't have any legal ties between each other anymore, but because of my health issues they still have to remain in contact, but they've indirectly decided to do this through me. So now, i'm kind of the middle man, every piece of hate and every drama between them goes through me.
So what's this post about? i'd be nice to have opinnions about what should i do? In a position where i'm always sick and have to stand with parents that each time they see me, have to say bad stuff about the other to me.
They're not bad parents (although my relationship with my mother hasn't always been good, it has been a bit tense until almost a year ago) at all, but this thing between them two has been going for years, i've always been in the middle of it and i'm tired of it. | Not so great in health. Parents hate each other. I'm the middle man and have to stand them having to share their hate with or through me. |
t3_38z1je | relationships | [m 30] [F 23] after three years, over. | Hello guys, I just need some advice and to be able to get this off my chest.
I have just come out of a 3 year relationship, myself a woman (23) he being a Male (30), the longest relationship I have ever had. I pictured myself being with him for the rest of my life.
He had a daughter to which I made feel like my own, she called me her step mum and everything was great.
Over the last couple of years though, I have been dealing with depression and anxiety. It had got quite bad. I've just changed my medication in the last couple of days also, I'm very sensitive and trying to control myself best I can.
This effected him and it also effected me, but it got to the point where it was too much for him and he left, he needed to fix himself.
He decided to leave and now after starting a new job 2 weeks ago almost to date I will be finding my self traveling 3 hours a day (to and from, I'm committed this job, it's all I have left) to work as I have had to move in with my family again until I can find a house closer to work, I even had to leave my dogs and cat behind until I get a place suitable but he will be looking after them until I can get them which really helps.
I love him, I know this is for the best and I'm trying to be strong but... We were even meant to be going to Tokyo in August also(he paid for everything, he is such a wonderful man.)
I just need to know how to deal with this. How to move on (yes I know it will take time) and how to deal with the inevitable new relationship that will some day come.
Please reddit, I need your help. | 3 years in a relationship to be left because of my depression and he hasn't felt the same way in a long time. |
t3_o89cl | AskReddit | How do I stop being a douche to my wife? | sup reddit,
So the story goes, I work full-time and my wife's currently a full-time student. We have a lot of financial responsibility with student loans, rent, and keeping a 10-year old car alive. I make enough to support us and take care of these things but that's mostly it. Because of her decisions and life choices she's been in school for the entire time we've been together (5 years...not law or medical fields). It's a lot of pressure and a heavy burden to bear. I'm very supportive, but hold her at a higher standard because i'm bringing in all the money and working m-f almost 12 hours a day. Since I'm not home most of the time I expect her to take care of random crap like calling the utility companies with issues, paying bills, and generally keeping house. Most of the time she doesn't because she wants me to be responsible for it. And she can't just get a job because the ultimate goal is for her to finish school and the last time she worked part-time while a student it hurt her grades significantly and will take her longer to finish. Because of all this i've become a douche to her and I don't want to be because I love her and she rocks. Any advice? thanks! | i'm an ass to my wife because i work all the time and she's a full-time student too busy to help with daily's and can use advice. |
t3_1tt7k2 | relationships | I [25 M] have decided that I'm going to give my GF [24] of just over a year until February 1st before I decide if I end it with her. Do I tell her about this deadline? | **Background**
My GF and I have always had a rocky relationship. She takes medication for depression and anxiety, but still stresses out about everything (school, family, and work). So much so that it really affects our relationship.
I've had doubts about the relationship for quite a while, but I've always held out because "it might get better after X" She's juggled anti-depression medications, and anti-anxiety medications, and I know personally how it can really screw with you. I've always hoped that she'd find the right mix and we could make it.
Unfortunately, for the most part, it's been a general downward trend with a few fantastic spans (the only reason why I'm still in the relationship).
___
**My Question**
I've decided that if things don't get better after this month, we're done. I've set this deadline because she's moving out of her abusive mother's house. I'm honestly hoping that her moving out will greatly relieve her of most of her stress. Her mother is a terrible person. Emotionally abusive, and, at times, physically as well.
My question is, do I tell her about this deadline? I've told her that she seriously needs to lighten up. It's hard to have a relationship when she's constantly upset about work, or her mother. I don't know if by telling her, I'll make the next month miserable or not.
As of right now, none of her or my friends know about this deadline. | I've set a one month deadline to decide whether or not to end things with my girlfriend. I don't know if I should tell her about this deadline. |
t3_43858i | legaladvice | Wife trying to take child more. North carolina | Created this now because I need advice. I've been keeping my son 2 for more than 6 months now at my house. wife has been paying support the whole time and other lyrics taking him once or twice a week not overnight. Bringing him back before dark. Now she served me papers saying that I've denied her requests to see him which I have not. I've been doing the agreement that we set up and actually trying to get her to see him more. She now wants to do weekly while giving him to her friend while she is at work. I don't want to do this and want to keep the schedule we have him on now. Is it possible to get custody of him from court? She doesn't even have him his own room or home like I do as she is currently living with her mom which paid her lawyers fees anyway. | Wife left child in my care for six months. Now wants weekly. I don't want to disrupt the life he has now |
t3_vvzlb | relationships | My close friend declined my last minute request to have a few beers on the night of my birthday so he could prepare for a woman to visit in 2 weeks. What does this say about our friendship? | Any input is appreciated.
The details:
My age: 33 His age: 30 Both male. Friends for over a year.
We hung out the day before my birthday. Day of my birthday, texted him to see if he would like to join me for a few beers for my b-day (a 3.5 hour notice, mind you) and said 'don't feel obligated because I will try to organize a little hiking trip in July'. He read the text and didn't respond.
Hours pass and I ask him his plans for the night and to my surprise he said he wanted to stay in and plan out his next two weeks. See, he wants to get all his ducks in a row before the arrival of a girl he thinks might be 'the one'. It is Saturday night and my birthday.
I told him I was "a little surprised you didn't respond to my text" but haven't passed judgement on him or said anything yet. He is a very good friend and I don't want to damage our friendship by saying something without carefully considering the circumstances. Would appreciate your perspective, reddit! | Friend ignored my request to hang out on my birthday so he could prepare for the arrival of a girl in two weeks. |
t3_4mi4aa | relationships | Me [18M] with my friend [21F] boundaries being crossed? Shows up and sneaks into my bedroom at 4AM drunk, in the AM starts a fight with me sober, more inside. | So my[18M] friend [21F] decided to show up at my fathers house drunk and crawling in my window at 4AM. Flash forward we hook up and have sex. Cue to the morning, I quietly get up and start cleaning my room and wake her up around 8AM. I tell her that I need to go to my mothers and that I need to be there by 9AM and I will be leaving and thay she can't be in the house without me here. She starts getting loud with me telling me that its too early to go to my mothers house and that its abnormal to go to visit family that early in the morning and that I should change my plans to accomodate a random visit from her at 4AM, I stand my ground and tell her that shes being ridiculous about all this and that I think shes way out of line, and she proceeds to try and tell me that I should have expected her to be over at 4AM because weve been texting a lot lately and that I should accomodate her because she's my guest.
Reddit, im pretty sure that I know I was right in being upset and am seriously considering not speaking to her anymore. I Want to know who is in the wrong here. | Friend showsbup at 4AM drunk, proceeds to throw hiss fit and argues woth me and tries to make me out to b a bad guy for wanting to go see my mother. |
t3_g8m0z | AskReddit | Redditors.. may I have 60 seconds of your time? | So here's the deal.
I made a short kinetic typography video for Toyota's #1 fan contest. if I win it, I'm selling the car to pay off my student loan (and what little I have left to pay off my current car). I don't need a new car, mine works perfectly fine. and I think I have a decent shot at winning because there are 3 videos selected for the finalists and only 40some video's have been submitted so far.
I've always wanted to donate money for worthy causes but I've been held back by debt and monthly payments. if I win I'll donate my combined student loan and car payments (roughly 500$) a month to reddits charity of choice with the most upvotes!
Thanks to anyone who spares the 60 seconds to watch. (and rock on Toyota loving redditors!) | made a 60 second video to win a car. if I win, I sell the car and donate 500$ a month (for a year) to a charity of reddit's choosing |
t3_46l076 | relationships | i [18F] was hit by my brother [21 M] just because i was sitting in the guest room | today i was bored from studying in the living room so i went to the guest room to change my mood a little , my older brother has supposedly taken the guest room as his own personal study room without saying (tho it is still the guest room)
anyway he told me to get out but i refused to because i don't see why i have to get out just because he said so but then he told me to get the **** out or he will make me get out but i still insist on staying since it's not his room IT'S THE GUEST ROOM so he started hitting me and pulling me out of the room then he slammed me to the wall and continued to hit me in the head
i still can hear my ears ringing and the right side of my cheeks is blue
my mother didn't do a thing since he's her favorite
i'm sorry for my bad english | he hit me just for sitting in the guest room /did i do something so wrong ? i want to get back at him but he's way too stronger than me |
t3_54gqh7 | relationships | My SO [24-F] thinks giving me [25-M] space is unreasonable | We've been in a LDR for about 9 months. We facetime for at least an hour every night and spend time together almost every weekend.
Over the span of the relationship there have been several times when she's been clingy and/or demanded more attention from me, more so than what I would consider normal. This last week it has been excessive. That coupled with a very stressful week at work, I decided to let her know I needed some space. I didn't specify, but mainly just needed some time alone in order to get my shit together.
In the ~12 hours since I requested some space, she has called me 5 times, texted me repeatedly, threatened to break up with me, and finally tried to drive the 2 hours one-way to my house in order to "get her things" (which is like. a book and a toothbrush).
She is upset because she thinks that my behavior is indicative of pulling away and I am just going to ultimately break-up with her when it's all said and done.
I got her calmed down to where I am going to take 5 days from now to get some time to myself, and Friday night she'll drive into town and we'll have a face-to-face.
Now, her clingy/attention demanding personality isn't ideal, but overall I think she is a great girl and I do love her. We have plans to move in together in the next year. Before I decided to tell her I needed space, I predicted I would take a day or two to recuperate then all would be good. However, after this whole situation has unfolded I am now much more concerned about us dating any further.
Am I being unreasonable? Would this be acceptable behavior in your relationship? Should I try and right the ship or jump off and watch it sink? | GF thinks me taking some space from our relationship is unreasonable and I am now wondering if I shouldn't end it all together |
t3_lw8uq | AskReddit | My urinal just overflowed so violently that my bathroom ceiling got wet. Why did this happen and how do I fix it? | I live in a fraternity house and we've had a problem with this urinal for the whole semester. It's overflowed before but never like this. I'm no plumber, but I feel like urinals should NEVER explode so violently that a large patch of the ceiling gets drenched with water.
...I also have the pleasure of living right below the bathroom, and it rains in my room every time this happens. I guess you could say I've got a vested interest in the issue. Have any redditors out there encountered an exploding toilet before?
I don't enjoy getting rained on when I'm trying to sleep. Do any of you wonderful people know whats wrong with our plumbing? | My urinal just exploded and shot water 8 feet in the air. How do I make it stop pulling this bullshit? |
t3_2x03n9 | tifu | TIFU by getting out of my seat | This happened maybe 15 minutes ago...
So here I am, hungry ol me just waiting at the lunch table for the lunch line to get a bit shorter so I don't have to stand there for 10 minutes. I'm sitting around talking and joking amongst my friends when I notice the line gets shorter so I take my chance and go to get lunch. I go grab it, say hi to the kind lunchlady and as I'm walking back I notice someone is in my seat. No biggie, I'll just ask them to move right? So I get to the table and notice it's a special needs kid, we'll call him D as it's his first initial, and when I kindly ask D to allow me my seat back, he looks me dead in the eyes and says these words exactly, "No, and there's nothing you can do about it because I'm retarded".... my table goes silent and I stand there absolutely mortified by what I just heard from this kid's mouth. I can't even justify that with a response and go shamefully sit alone at a table in the corner. | got up to get lunch, special needs kid took my seat and told me I can't do anything about it because he has down syndrome... |
t3_1unil2 | relationships | Me [27F] with my BF [26M]. We have been together 10 years and still no proposal. Should I be worried? | Okay, so, we've been together 10 years. Since I was 17 and he was 16. Basically, I just don't get why he won't ask me to marry him. Even if we're engaged for a long time, I don't mind. I just want to be able to say he's my fiance. I think that the term boyfriend if just too small a word after 10 years don't you? Am I wrong? We've had fights about this and he says he'd definitely want to marry me but first I need to grow up a little. I can explain, I am still kind of immature at a lot of things. I can't cook, I barely do our laundry (his mom does it mostly, but I do it at times too), in my defense, I work and she doesn't so I don't find it *that* big of a deal. Is it? I still haven't committed myself to school 100%, I've failed a few classes (currently retaking them). Are all these things deal breakers? I want to better myself but, again, it's for the childish reason of getting him to propose and then what if, after being the "perfect housewife", he doesn't propose?? I hate this way of thinking.
I hate the obsession people have on weddings. The amount of peer pressure I get makes me ask this stupid question. I just wish people would mind their own business. So what if we're not married? WHAT IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL? I would like to ask that to myself as well. I honestly don't even feel like I'm ready to get married for the same reasons he probably won't ask me to marry him. | I've been with my bf for 10 years and he says he wants to marry me eventually but makes no indication of moving forward with it and I think it's because I'm immature still in some ways. |
t3_f7zns | relationships | Friend zoned..then sex?? I'm confused =/ | So this girl i've been crushing on since the beginning of freshman year has always been out of reach for me. We're both 20 years old and go to a public university(25K+ students). I'm sort of the typical last finishing nice guy..while she is the rebel maneater. Over time we became closer friends but still nothing more. This year we did some crazy drugs together that made us very intimate. We made out, cuddled, and started spending more time together. She sensed she was leading me on and explicitly stated we were still friends..Which wasn't earth shattering, just a tad disappointing. Flash forward a month, where she takes me to a party. She gets blackout drunk, while I stay sober enough to drive her home. My house is closer so I decide to get off the road as soon as possible. I down a bottle of wine to "get to her level" and we cuddle all night, not intending to do more. Dawn comes and we both wake up in our underwear..one thing leads to another and we start going at it like bunny rabbits. When we are done she immediately leaves and tells me not to tell anyone.. Thus my confusion reddit. What do you guys make of this ? I really would like a relationship with this girl, but I don't know how to proceed. I feel as if asking what she wants directly would force her into rejecting me. Was this just blind fun/sex? | Friend zoned for about 8 months by a girl, snuggle after a party all night and wake up to sex. I don't know what to make of the sex.. |
t3_zdsum | relationships | Me [20m] and really good female friend [19f] are platonic friends, when does it become natural? | Okay, so I was really great friends with this girl [19f] and I [20m], after about 3 months of friendship, asked her out/told her I liked her and now we have been hanging out more seriously for about two weeks. Previously, we were friends in a group, but now we hang out one on one. Recently, we've been doing things like studying and hiking but oddly enough, I feel like these two weeks of more serious hanging out/dating have been less intimate than the 3 months of hanging out as friends. Whereas before we could be natural, now our one on one conversations seem forced and awkward. We've talked about this, and have agreed that its because that now that we are seriously considering each other as a relationship there has been a pressure and created something of a barrier.
My questions to you guys is, at what point of dating does a relationship turned from platonic conversation into a comfortable and relaxing hanging out? Should I just call it off and save our friendship? or should we fight through the awkwardness and try to be more natural again? Thanks for any help you guys, I'm really at a loss in this situation? | after 3 months of friendship, I have been dating a girl for 2 weeks and things have become more awkward than when we were just friends. Is this normal or is this a sign that we are better as friends? |
t3_4si249 | relationships | I (24 f) moved out of my house because I was fed up with my step dad's lack of boundaries// feeling guilty leaving mom and sister | It will be almost a year since I moved out of my house and I still feel uneasy about it. I left on good terms and still visit once or twice a week but I cant feel guilty abandoning my sister and my
mom. My mom used to be a single mom before she married her current husband. I was 15 and my sister was 13 then. There has been no action that I would consider sexually inappropriate in this circumstance. Lack of boundaries however would be the most fitting term. This man has the habit of walking around the house or lounging in the sofa with just a towel wrapped around his waist. It used to be worst before with him walking around in his underwear. The last few years, it's been with the towel. Another action that creeps my veins out is the fact that when he uses our powder room downstairs, he does not fully close the door and keeps the light shut. There's been plenty of times where we've open the lights by accident and pretend like nothing happened. I still cant quite shake the amount of gross awkwardness after. Mind you, it has not gotten better for me over the years. We've told our mom about it but we have never confronted him. I've always thought this was normal in Canadian or American families (stepdad is Canadian but my family is Asian) so I didnt irk much about it even if gave me the creeps every single day. After 8 years, I got sick of his lack of boundaries so I packed up my bags and left. Shortly after I left, I learn they bought a property in Florida and he's been wanting to stay there majority of the time. My mom and sister are alone most of the time in a 3000 square feet home. I want to go back to help out but I dont want to subject myself to that amount of inappropriateness.
In terms of independence, most Asians dont usually move out and live on our own as singles so Im weirded out by this idea but Im managing both mentally and financially:)
Redditors what's your take on this? | I (24f) moved out from home because my stepdad doesnt mind being seen naked. Folks bought property in Florida and stepdad is now staying more there; feel bad for leaving sister and mom. |
t3_3s250v | relationships | Me [21/F] with my best[21F] 11years, i feel insecure around my bff all the time and i don't know how to fix it. | So first off, this is entirely my issue. My best friend Elaina has never said or done anything to contribute to this, it's just me. In fact she's always been supportive, complimenting me when I get new clothes or if my make up looks nice.
Elaina is super pretty, like she's incredibly cute. I'm overweight, with messy hair and glasses. Every time I'm around her I keep comparing myself to her and I feel terrible about myself.
It's even worse because we often hang out in public and I compare who gets more attention from other people. Or if she's telling me about how a guy at work hit on her or asked for her number I get jealous especially because I haven't been asked out since last year. (She's a waitress so she often meets new people.)
I'm trying to work on fixing myself--I've improved my makeup, I try to dress better and get contacts. I joined a gym and I'm trying to eat healthier. I just don't know how to improve the way I'm thinking, I'm worried that it's going to lead to resentment on my part, even subconsciously and I don't want to ruin our friendship. | My friend's incredibly hot. I'm not. How do I fix my self-esteem so it doesn't ruin our friendship. |
t3_4jhqvc | askwomenadvice | Hi just wanted some advice I [19M] have fallen for a friend [19F] who had just been broken up with by her boyfriend of 3 years. | Here's the situation. I have recently become closer friends with this girl who goes to the same college as me. I met her through a mutual friend. And I have really fallen for her. I've known her for about a month maybe longer. And we have hung out alone a couple times, and she has said to her best friend and to me that I am one of the 3 funniest people in her life.
Our conversations are not only jokes however, and we do talk about serious things when we hang out. The problem is I know she broke up recently with her boyfriend of three years, and is not ready for a relationship. I had our mutual friend ask her about me, she asked her what was going on between us. Her response was that he is really cool and super funny but she hasn't even thought about it like that and she is just not ready.
My question is how do I go about this, we are on summer break and she has asked me to hang out with her and her friends a couple times already, which I did. I don't want to just end up being friends with her, but I know I can't make to aggressive moves, and I don't want to freak her out or anything especially considering her sensitive emotional situation. Any advice would be helpful
Thank You | Recently fallen for girl, who just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years, have become closer friends. But want to be more. |
t3_3dgirs | relationships | My best friend [21F] is helping her abusive ex-boyfriend cheat on his current girlfriend. I [22F] don't know what to do anymore. | My best friend has been in an on again/off again abusive relationship for the last 5 years. She and her ex [22M] have been repeating the same cycle all these years: they get together, things are okay for a while, then he cheats on her and verbally abuses her, and she's devastated.
This kills me because she's genuinely one of the best people I know. She has so much love to give, and she deserves someone who gives that back to her. But she's so blind, because her ex has brainwashed her into thinking she's trash and she'll never find anyone else. So whenever they're not together, she spends her time just waiting for him to come back. Her life comes to a standstill in every aspect- work, school, hobbies, etc.
She lost all of her friends because everyone got tired of her crying over the same guy. I'm the only one she has left... but recently something happened that is making me conflicted about our friendship.
A few months ago, her ex got a new girlfriend. However, he's still sleeping with my best friend. My best friend knows about the girlfriend and willingly hooks up with him anyway. I'm shocked, because she of all people knows how shitty it feels to be cheated on. I confronted her about it, and she said "I know it's wrong, but I love him too much. I don't care if he abuses me anymore, or if he has someone else. I just want him to be in my life."
I'm conflicted because I really, really care about her, and I can't abandon her when she has nobody else... but I also can't condone helping him cheat like that, especially when he's been abusing her for the last 5 years. I feel like an asshole for saying that, because I know she can't help herself, but I also can't bring myself to turn a blind eye.
Anyway, I don't know where to go from here. What do I say? How can I lead her in the right direction, away from her abusive ex? Can I even help her at all? :( | I care about my best friend, but she's willingly helping her abusive ex-boyfriend cheat on his current girlfriend, and I don't know what to say to her. |
t3_3fo6nb | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend[17 F] of 3 weeks not feeling attracted to her as much anymore | I've been talking to this girl for about a month now. I've always found her striking when it comes to her looks. She isn't straight up attractive but just the way she carries herself made her seem classy and beautiful to me. Anyways, at the time I was still having sex with a girl I was absolutely head over heals for for a long time but she played me bad and it just made it hard to trust her. Suddenly she wants to have an actual relationship but I just couldn't fully trust her after what happened before. The girl that I had started talking to quickly became a good friend. We had a lot of fun and we were always sarcastic and mean to each other, but it was always in good fun. I wasn't sure if she liked me at all, but I asked her on a date of sorts. That night we tried to have sex but she hasn't had it in awhile so we just fooled around and she stayed the night. Things became more serious afterwards and I ended things with the previous girl completely. She was pretty hurt by it and I was in a way too, but I wanted to start something with someone who hasn't hurt me in the past like she had. She still kept in contact with me and remained friends, but it really hasn't helped anything.
The girl that I am dating now has really started to show that she really cares for me and has repeatedly told me she loves me when she was really drunk. I enjoyed hanging out with her at first but for some reason I start to get agitated and irritated after spending long stretches of time with her and it makes me feel bad that I feel that way. As things move along, I just feel that my attraction for her is going away little by little while she is starting to do quite the opposite and becoming pretty clingy.
I've never actually had a real relationship and I'm not sure if this is what people mean by commitment issues. I just feel like I'm going to not like her after awhile and I still have a lot of feelings for the previous girl. I really just don't know what to do anymore and it's killing me. | dating a new girl, feel attraction for her decrease over time, still have feelings for someone else but I know I shouldn't be talking to her. |
t3_3dsr4t | relationships | Drunken fumble has left me questioning everything | I (39m) am married with 2 kids and although things haven't been as exciting as they used to be with wife (38f), i generally thought it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed. I should also add i had never cheated in 15 years together.
However on a recent work night out i ended up having a kiss and cuddle with a single work colleague. Although the colleague is attractive, smart and interesting, there is no future in it, i'm not even convinced she likes me in that way, and when we had the awkward conversation back at work, we agreed to put it down to the alcohol.
The problem is i can't stop thinking about her and what nearly happened. In my mind i am looking for all the faults in my wife and our relationship and generally feeling really unsettled.
I would never want to break up my family as the kids would be devastated and i couldn't do that to them. | So why am i feeling like a lovesick schoolboy? Is it a midlife crisis (i reckon i could tick off a few symptoms)? Or do i just need to get a grip of myself? |
t3_3081mb | tifu | TIFU by farting in solidarity | This happened while I was still a preschool teacher. Part of my duties included leading group time, where I read the my class of 18 3-5 year olds a story before afternoon snacktime.
Some of you may not realize that the most notorious preschool far bandits are the little girls. Preschool age girls constantly rip ass, and usually don't give a fuck. However, at some point, they start to get embarrassed.
One girl who was ashamed to pass gas was the new girl, who we will refer to as Melissa. She was extremely sweet and even more shy; however, at an advanced height with a mane of unkempt blonde curls in a primarily Latino school, she stuck out like a sore thumb.
At group time one day, she sat pretty close to me in the front of the mass of rowdy children. As she sat down criss cross applesauce like the angel that she still is, a loud honking sound escaped her tiny body. Not only did she fart, but also she came very close to making our portable classroom shake. At first, the kids started giggling because it was a fart. When Melissa started to cry, the laughter got louder.
I do not stand for this behavior in my classroom. Normally, I would quickly scold the children and get back to reading without acknowledging that anything had happened. But the previous night, I had watched Billy Madison. On this day, I wanted to be like Adam Sandler when he pissed his pants to make his little friend seem cool.
My decision was made in a split-second: I somehow farted on command. I wanted it to be loud, but it made no sound. Uh oh. My body had released an atrocity that can only be described as silent but deadly. When the children detected the atrocity which I had wrought upon this world, they assumed it was from Melissa's fart. My actions caused the entire class to believe that this little girl had the gastric destructive capabilities of a fully grown man. The poor girl was crying the tears of one who is ashamed into social anxiety for life--while also being the closest one to my noxious airborne biological evil.
I dismissed the kids for snack and gave that little girl extra juice pops at snack. | Tried to pull a Billy Madison with a fart, ended up making the class think a sweet little girl had some serious intestinal issues. |
t3_514xbr | relationships | Me [27M] with my GF [26F] of 1 year, I find my girlfriend is not very good at carrying on conversations and it leaves us with little to talk about and it is getting boring, not sure if I should bring it up? | I love my girlfriend a lot and she is a great person but she is rather queit when it comes to talking. I am a total chatterbox and I am always cracking jokes and the like, so I feel like that energy has carried us this far in our relationship. But now it is getting a bit old.
I have tried everything: I ask about her day, bring up fun topics, try conversation starters, ask her questions about things she is interested in, inquire about her day. All of my friends are good conversationalist and we talk for hours and hours - with her it just doesnt happen. It is starting to grind on me.
The reason it is an issue now is that she wants to go on a 14 day vacation... we are trying to figure out where we want to go and she is getting upset that I am not putting much effort in. I am realizing that I am somewhat dreading it due to this issue. I am putting it off because I am not looking forward.
I love her a lot... I would love to work on this with her. But I feel like I have literally tried everything aside from just outright saying it. Is it mean though? Should I bother? Can someone become better at having interesting conversation? I dont feel they can... I am getting bored with our lack of banter :( | girlfriend isnt good at conversation and it is getting really boring. Tell her outright? Breakup? I have tried everything under the sun to try and make it better, but I cannot seem to do it. :( |
t3_2615v0 | self | Help with life and future | Hey guys n gals,
I'm currently at uni in the computing sector, and after an exam the other day, I realised that I'd be better off in business or accounting.
Now some details. I'm in my first year and I'm 23. I went to a business college when I was 19 and always planned on going into accounting. Due to relationship breakdowns in that period, I lost interest. When I was 21 I decided. I wanted to go to uni to study computer science for 2 reasons. First, my friend was studying it and it sounded good, secondly I thought as I spent most my time on the PC (playing games) this was the best step to take.
Now. I could just start a new 3/4 year course, but there's no telling they'd accept me. My thoughts are to try and pursue the AAT, however again there's no telling they'd accept me, and I'd be left with my student finance to pay back. I am recently seeing someone, which sparks my desire to be in a well paid job.
Now the second issue. The person I'm seeing lives near to me at home, however. I study around 200 miles away. They will also be starting uni in September, so distance may have a big impact. I know relationships shouldn't decide one's educational future (messing it around. I mean), but I'm that way inclined. I always have been.
Any and all advice on either issue, or both, would be very very much appreciated. | not happy in current area of study, so want to change but not sure how. Some relationship advice to support my issues thrown in. |
t3_1or7d7 | relationships | I [28/F] just recently tried to leave verbally abusive Husband [30/M] of 10 years. Now he has stated he is no longer abusive and has changed behavior. I am now very unsure of what to do. | My husband and I have been married for ten years and have 2 young children. Several months ago I came to realize that the horrible drama I was experiencing every day with him (horrible verbal abuse) was wrong and was not my fault. (trust me i was brainwashed and thought that I was a horrible person and deserved it.)
I finally got the guts to tell him that I wanted to separate. Then he came to me crying and begging for another chance. I have given that to him. For the most part he seems completely fine. I notice subtle things here and there, but absolutely nothing like the way he used to treat me.
Ok.... so... everything is fixed right? and I should be happy and carry on as a good wife and mom??? However I can't. Its not so much that I am afraid that the "shoe is about to drop," its like I almost want it to. I can't for sure say that I really truly want to be in this relationship. I find myself wondering what it would be like to have a "normal" relationship. Also I don't really care about losing the relationship. Then at other times I almost feel content and almost happy with staying. Then I remember things in the past that happen that made me angry. So has anyone ever dealt with this? And by verbal abuse, I mean lots of anger, cussing, name calling, death threats, and destruction of property. | verbally abusive husband has changed his ways, I still don't know if I want to stay or not. Any experience? |
t3_2e7zdh | legaladvice | Co-worker who quit refusing to pay for carpool agreement. (NYC - New Jersey) | Backstory:
I currently live in Brooklyn, NY. Late last year I took a job in North NJ, on the premise that the office would move to Manhattan in May of this year. There was already a carpool coming from Brooklyn to NJ, and I was able to ride in that to my job for several months until the carpool driver left the company. I was paying a monthly fee for the carpool ($150ish).
The office decided not to relocate this year, and so my employer offered me a $500 a month stipend to purchase a vehicle, on the premise that I take over the carpool and pick up my coworker on the way in Manhattan and bring them to NJ every day ($11/day toll over the GW). My coworker agreed to pay me monthly for the carpool (which went up to $200, as there were less people in the carpool now).
This agreement was made in front of my boss, but it is a startup and thus a casual atmosphere... meaning that no paperwork was signed. However everything was fine and she paid me $200 cash at the end of the month... until she randomly quit the company (without two weeks notice, left that morning... I even dropped her off at the bus stop so she could leave early). She told me she would send me the money owed for the carpool ASAP (paypal or through some banking app).
Days went by, and I then asked her for money via text... and received a response from her asking what day I started driving (as if she was going to divide it by day or something... I just told her the month). The next day she asked if my boss had paid me, to which I said no. She just said thanks and didn't message after that.
A couple weeks later, I asked her via text how the carpool money was coming along, and received no response.
Finally, today, we had the following conversation:
What are my chances for this in small claims court, considering there is no real written agreement, but I do have texts stating that she owes me money but not the amount (which she then refuted anyways with some backwards logic). | Drive carpool from Brooklyn to NJ over GWN with $11/day toll. Coworker quits, avoids paying me last months $200. No contract. What are my options? |
t3_3sb9ne | relationships | Husband's so easy to irritate. Short-fuse. Anyone here relate to either of us? | My (33F) husband (43M) have been together 6.5 years. His very easily irritated. He huffs and puffs if you are handing him a utensil wrong. If the ice machine in the fridge hesitates a bit, he snarls that "Everything is fucking broken in this house" He snarls a lot in general. He throws things. He over exaggerates things often. He has a short fuse, and a temper--especially at home. He is successful at work and doesn't act this way there.
When he apologizes for not being patient I tell him, "Try not to let the little things bother you" (Like the fact that there are no clean forks in the drawer because they are in the dishwasher behind him) He says, "Its not even the little things that bother me; it's the fact that nobody else is bothered by it" He says this often. He wants our whole family to get pissed off about shoes being left by the door, the recycle bin being full, and there being two open mustards in the the fridge?
He has unrealistic expectations about how clean the house should be considering there are 7 of us living in a 3700 sq ft house with no help. He will complain about the kitchen being a mess right after I have cooked and we have eaten in it.
Anyone have insight? He is described by most as type A. Punctual. Reliable. Has integrity. But he can never just not be affected by something wrong happening. | Husband blames his impatience & short fuse on the fact that others don't get as upset as he does about things. Thinks he's the only one who cares about thing when they aren't perfect. |
t3_1cwtk3 | relationships | How do I (26F) handle my boyfriend's (26M) overreaction? | I'm 26, he's 26. Been together over 4 years.
Tonight we were drinking. Usually goes well with no problems, but tonight he was irritated about something that happened at work. When we were done eating, he asked me to put his food away for him. I accidentally spilled his box of hot wings into a bin of marketing materials he'd bought for $8 at a flea market. (We're in advertising so I understand why he bought it, but I still think it's useless, as it's all 1990s.) I picked up the wings, cleaned the area, and continued on - because he usually freaks out about this kind of stuff when he's drinking. He kept asking me how I knew our dog didn't get to the wings I dropped and I promised him that he hadn't. Finally he came into the living room and saw I'd dropped them in the box. He started yelling about how I never tell him the truth when I'm afraid I'm going to get into trouble - and I guess it's true. But in cases like this (and many others) I don't think I DESERVE to get in trouble. The hot wings didn't touch any paper part of his books and I wiped off any areas that had sauce on them. He took one look at the box after yelling that it had been ruined, didn't see any spots on it, and went to bed.
What do I do? Yes, I sometimes hide what I think I'll be in trouble for, but it's always like this - when I think the "trouble" isn't actually worth a fight about. What do I do? | I dropped some hot wings on a wipe-able surface of some old marketing books my boyfriend bought. Is he right to be mad at me? |
t3_2rl2lk | relationships | I [24M] met an awesome [24M] guy over Grindr, and now I don't want to fuck it up. | So, he's a primarily closeted dude, like me, and we met a few weeks back and had a great time. Like, we had a bunch in common, kept the night going. Headed back to his place and didn't even have sex, just kissed and fooled around a bit, all that fun stuff. Talked til like 530am.
Now, I never really got a gauge of whether he's looking mostly for hookups or potentially relationships. I just want to express my interest in continuing to move forward, in the hopes of pursuing a real relationship (the classic "looking for the guy that can get me to delete grindr").
I just don't want to come off as clingy or sprint headfirst the wrong way down a one-way road so to speak, but I don't want to miss this chance. This guy is awesome.
I'm not really sure whether or not this is the appropriate subreddit for this type of question, but I figured it worth a shot. | Met another guy over a hookup app and really want to pursue a relationship, but don't want to mess it up. Need advice. |
t3_3erwbd | dogs | [Help] House trained dog has started to have accidents in house ONLY after dog walker drops her off | Recently my dog has started to go to the bathroom in the house (in the same spot), but only on the days that the dog walker comes to bring her out. On the days that the walker does not come, she does not have an accident.
Interestingly, I have been using the same dog walker for about 2 months now, and this has only started (and now happens almost everytime) a week or two ago.
I talked with the walker and she said that she is going to the bathroom when she is out at the park.
Obviously I am not home when she has an accident, but I was wondering if there is anything that I can do to prevent this. | my house trained dog has started to have accidents in the house only after the dog walker drops her off. This has just started a few weeks ago and all other behavior is normal. |
t3_20gs9r | running | IT Band issues: Can run but can't walk | I've had IT band issues for almost a year. Finally got some good physically therapy at the beginning of the new year, and been making progress. I can run on flat land and hills for miles with no pain. Walking anywhere more than quarter mile hurts or standing a while. So does downhill running, but that's normal. PT thinks it's because I heel strike walking, and probably heel strike downhill when it's really steep. Normally I'm a midfoot/forefoot overpronater.
Basically, he's saying I'll probably need orthotics, since I'm strong in the hip and ankles, but still have problems, even with my shoes(Mizuno Wave Creations). Either that, or learn to walk like a ballet dancer. o_0
Any one else have issues where they can run, but can't walk? What was the reason and what did you do to fix it? | Can run uphill and flat land for miles, but can't walk 1/4 mile without pain. Anyone else have similar experience to teach me? |
t3_3bzs2s | relationship_advice | Me [22M] having doubts with my gf [22F] of 4 years, missing the "thrill" [XPOST from r/relationships] | I'm with my gf for 4 years now. Everything is great, our life is awesome and we are having plans, etc. Sex is great too. I feel I love her. I mean, I still smile everytime I see a picture of her, and feel the love rushing through my stomach :) But, in the last period, like in the past few weeks, I feel an increasing desire to pick up others. Not exactly just the sex, but more like the "thrill". You know, that dance, where you are getting to know each other, you know you like each other, feel the increasing fire between you...The lean in for the kiss, this stuff.
So, I was in a party with my gf but she left early and I had a great time with one of her girlfriends, and ohhhh the excitement and the chemistry....*I can't get her out my head*. I can't really describe it more..
I feel terrible, because I don't want to like this. And I don't understand it, because I feel the same when I'm intimate with my gf too. Its just in the past I noticed the attention of many other good girls towards me and I'm confused about what should I do... Before her, chasing girls and stuff like this was also a big part of my life, so its hard...
*I know I'm a dick | Have a great gf of 4 years, good life plans with her, I love her, but really missing the thrill of the other girls. What should I do? |
t3_4x8cmv | relationships | [M/28] tried to move on too fast, worried about hurting someone I like [F/25] | I recently ended a friendship that I thought was going to become more, and after a year or so it had become more bad than good, so I got out of it before it became resentful and angry (just in case she comes back to me, I don't want anything to be based on resentment or entitlement. these things are part of my past, long story).
Right after I ended it, someone I used to work with contacted me and we talked about going out. We had great chemistry back then and I kind of liked her but that was a couple years ago and I had a girlfriend then.
So we went out the other night and had a great time but I just wasn't feeling it because I'm still way too upset about this other situation ending, and I'm probably going to be dealing with it for a while. Thing is, I do like this girl and would like to try again when I'm ready, but I know I'm just not, and if I try to go out with her again I'm sure I just won't be accessible and I'll push her away.
I'd like to find a way to tell her the truth about the situation and leave the door open for something maybe happening down the road. But I don't want to lead her on and make her wait for me. I think she likes me quite a bit and it's not fair to tell her to just put the whole thing on pause. What should I do? Just end it before it becomes something hurtful and tell her to forget about it? And what's the etiquette for doing it over the phone versus in person? Only one date, but don't want her to hate me, but meeting up in person feels like it's over-dramatizing it. | Found out I'm not ready to date again, but found it out with a girl I know I could like given some time. Looking for a way to let her down without closing the door or asking her to wait for me. |
t3_tqs9v | relationships | Boyfriend is involved in sexual online role play. | I don't know what to do r/relationships, I'm hoping someone can give me a little advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year now, we're both early 20s. (I'm female by the way)
I recently found out that my boyfriend is engaging in a sexual role play on a social network site we are both involved in. The role play is between him and another male that he doesn't know in real life, they role play as a heterosexual couple(the other male knows my boyfriend is a male as well). I've been watching them, unknowingly to them, for a few weeks now. I confronted my boyfriend when this started about his relationship to this other male, but he says that it's just a joke and that he loves me more than anything. At first I brushed it off as him just playing around with this other person, but as I've watched it I've become more and more confused as to why he continues to do this.
We have sex whenever either of us wants to and he appears, and says, he's satisfied. He never forfeits our time to spend time with this online person. I know that my boyfriend looks at porn online, and I have no problems with it as I do too, but this role play is different. It's more emotional and it feels like something that should only be between us. I really love this man and want to someday marry him, but seeing this makes me wonder what else he has hidden from me.
So r/relationships.
How should I handle this?
Am I over reacting?
Should I talk to him about this, and if so how would I bring it up?
Should I just stop looking at his role play sessions and pretend I never saw it?
Please help. | My straight boyfriend is in a sexual role play with another male, he doesn't know I know about it. I feel like it's cheating, it's tearing me up inside. |
t3_3k3kxn | personalfinance | Need extra work, don't know how to go about it. | I'm in a very difficult financial situation. I'm a married father of 2 who needs extra income that can make an actual difference. I'm a Kitchen Designer in a big box store that is barely making 32K a year. Wife can't work due to personal issues I rather not disclose in this post. I have student loans that are drowning me and i'm practically living check by check. Also we're living with my inlaws (two adults and two children in one bedroom).
Government assistance has proven useless since i apparently make too much to be assisted and make too little to get out of my situation.
I've only been employed for 10 months and really love my job, but its not enough. If i get a part time job I'd like for it to be something that will launch my family out of this whole.
So my question i guess is do I try to find another job that simply pays better? or are there part time options that will compensate for the whole i'm drowning in?
Some one had suggested become a tax auditor to do it part-time. Or acquire a data entry position that pays well. I've posted similar posts in the past, but it hasn't really been fruitful. Any suggestions are welcome. | Need additional income to get ahead and not drown in debt. Suggestions welcome in career choices that will pay more than 35K to start. |
t3_2lmifs | relationships | Me [18 M] and my girlfriend [19 F] broke up after 8 months, mostly due to her wanting to protect me from herself. What do I do? | She has depression, and thinks that she is a negative burden on me, despite what I say. She said that our relationship is "tainted" in her mind, and as much as she wants it, we may not be able to have it. As noble as it was, we are both going to be miserable for a long time, and reconciliation doesn't have the possibility of happening for a long time. What do I say if the option of reconciling ever comes up? This is my first break up, how do I grieve? What do I do to ease the pain? | Girlfriend and I broke up, both miserable, possible reconciliation later. What do I say then? How do i grieve now? |
t3_ky2qd | AskReddit | How can I help my sister with her obesity? | Please no insensitivity- my sister is very important to me and I don't have time for assholes with rude jokes.
Anyway, with that said, my sister is 22 years old. She has struggled with her weight since pre-pubescence while watching me grow up to be a 5'4" skinny blonde. This has not been easy for either of us. I think about her all the time. I worry she won't be loved (even though she should find a man that loves her for who she is) and that her weight will cause her problems. I've seen her try to diet and exercise time and time again and nothing is sticking. I love her to death and she is so beautiful, hilarious, and fun to be around. I just want the world to see her like I do. She has SO much potential, and I feel like she's running out of time to make this big change in her lifestyle. I'm wondering if Reddit has any information about the most effective ways to lose a lot of weight (HEALTHILY!). If I had the money I'd get her a personal trainer, sign her up for those specialized meal programs, ANYTHING. But I don't. Help me help her, Reddit. I'm worried for her health and future, as diabetes and high blood pressure runs in our family. I know she wants to change.
Our relationship is very awkward. I can't go shopping with her, I can't talk about guys with her, I can't workout with her without feeling horrible guilt; I see that it bothers her. It's so heartbreaking and I need it to change. (Also important, we live 2 hours away from each other so I can't take on anything that requires me to be close by.) | My sister is obese and it is effecting our relationship because we can't relate to each other anymore. What are some cheap, effective weight loss methods I can encourage her to try? |
t3_3g0674 | legaladvice | Wanted to buy a business, the owner snuck a non-compete clause in the non-disclosure agreement. | Michigan here. Wanted to buy a company with a particular employee that was being under compensated and underdeveloped. A chemist. Owner of the company said they would not talk until we signed a non-disclosure agreement he had drafted.
My partner signed the damn thing without reading it. Inside was a clause saying we could not hire any of his current or former employees for two years. This was last March. He fired the Chemist and we want to hire him and help him save his house. His former boss has black listed him for all of S.E. Michigan. Bit the hand that fed him by talking with us about how he was feeling under appreciated for his work and ideas that remained unimplemented.
I asked our attorney if we could seek relief from the agreement based on deception. No reasonable person would expect a non compete clause in what was described to my too trusting partner, as a simple non disclosure agreement so we could look at their books and offer a fair market value for the company.
After the NDA was signed the owner cut off all communications and says the company will never be sold as long as he is alive.
I think he did it to enslave his employee and lock us out of employing him once he tried to get the chemist to quite through draconian tasks and punishments and then when that failed, then fired him and fought him receiving unemployment.
Our lawyer billed us for $200 and said, there is nothing that can be done and make sure to put all agreements over his desk before signing, from now on
No details as to why we cannot sue for relief. Is he lazy or is there something special about how Michigan makes an NDA with a hidden non-compete, unbreakable?
We would still buy the company for a fair price, or buy out the owner to release us from the agreement concerning former employees of theirs.
Money is no problem for us, we want this guy working and supporting his family again, ASAP. | Django Unchained scene with the contract negotiation about buying back his wife lives on in contract law, in Michigan. We are trying to buy the freedom of an enslaved Chemist. |
t3_1k7ujv | relationship_advice | [21M and F couple] We've hit a major bump, and I'm[21M] not taking it well | I've posted a few weeks ago about the initial argument that involved her "not sure how/who she'll be upon returning from 3 months abroad" We agreed then to just wait it out until she returned home to see how things are. She returned home on Saturday night, packed things up for college, and we moved her in Sunday morning. She is an RA and has a pretty full schedule these next few days. We havent really talked yet, it's killing me. I've already been waiting 2+ weeks to sit and talk things through. I know she's busy, but I cant help but think that she's purposefully putting it off (which I know she isnt). I feel as though all this waiting is genuinely driving me away from the relationship, and if I bring that up to her, she'll just blow up saying she's super busy and stressed, and that if I dont want to wait, then to just go ahead and leave. I really dont want to leave. I live with her parents while she is at school (have been living here for 2 years). I love her, but I'm starting to physically get sick from the anxiety of waiting. I dont know what to do. Wait it out another week and see how things go? | I(21M) am getting sick and driven away from a relationship with my girlfriend (21F) because of her being constantly busy, but only for the next week or so. |
t3_2th5to | relationships | Me [16 F] with my boyfriend [16 M] of nearly two years, how do I stop pulling away from him? | So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. He's one of the kindest and funniest people I've ever met, and I love him very much. Our relationship is mostly problem free, but lately I've really felt the need to talk to someone about this.
I guess you could say that I'm extremely empathetic, so much so to the point that I react very badly to small things that go wrong or bad things that happen in his life. He'll tell me that he has a migraine and I'll just feel this deep-seated pit of unease and anxiety, and the same thing will happen when he fights with his parents, or really anything that upsets him. I also cannot handle medical problems with the people I love due to some really bad past experiences with hospitals, so when he needed to go to the ER a few nights ago, I was horrified, even after we found out that nothing was wrong. Granted, he is a rather large complainer, and often makes a bigger deal out of things than they actually are, so this probably plays a large part in the problem.
So, because of how strongly I react to these sorts of things, I tend to shut down emotionally from him to try and protect myself. It hurts so badly for me to care so deeply about him that I just try not care as much. This means that I'll barely offer him any sympathy or affection, which is selfish on my part.
Recently, we had a big discussion about how he wants me to be more affectionate towards him. I agreed to try to, because I certainly do love him, and he agreed to try and complain less about the small things, to make it easier on me. However, I'm not quite sure how to go about showing more affection towards him. I could just let go and try to completely stop pulling away, but I also want to be able to deal with the things that go wrong better. Any advice for me? | My boyfriend wants me to be more affectionate and sympathetic, but I pull away when bad things happen because I care too much. How do I stop shutting down, but also keep control of myself when something bad happens to him? |
t3_1j17bl | relationship_advice | I (21) had a threesome with my bf(29) and it was fun and completely ruined me and my security in my relationship(long, but short paragraphs) | We had talked about finding someone to do it with for a while, then had dropped the subject for a few months. I felt mostly okay about it, I knew I was the jealous and insecure type, but I thought it'd be fun to play with someone with someone I cared about right there with me. When it finally happened, it was great, and we all had fun and laughed, but the next day I couldn't get the image of him and this other girl doing something he and I so lovingly did in private.
Since then, he has been the one initiating things, finding girls online and showing me their pictures that they emailed him for my approval. I know he thinks he's finding something fun that we both like, but it's tearing me up inside that he's looking without me even knowing until they've exchanged emails.
He's about to pick up another job because he wants us to go on vacation and get our own place. He says this is why he was most recently looking, because he "figured his social life is ending pretty soon." He did apologize for sounding like he was guilt tripping me.
In short, now I can't stop feeling like I alone am not good enough for him. I feel guilty for feeling jealous because he's always done so much for me and told me how he only wants to be with me and that he's not going to leave me. I just torn up inside and sick. How do I fix this? | had threesome, had tons of fun but now insecure in relationship, but can't even feel justified because boyfriend is so supportive. |
t3_4c4n3q | relationships | I [22F] am in a LTR with my [23M] boyfriend. I won't be seeing him until June and I'm feeling really lonely without him. How do you guys deal with loneliness in a LTR? | So my my boyfriend and I have been together since 2013. We met at uni, but he was an international student from Canada and I knew he would have to go back eventually. I live in Australia. We graduated last year, and he's been back home since Feb. I'll be going over in June for a nice long visit but have been so lonely without him. I've never missed anyone this much and it's just so frustrating!! I hate being without him.
Others in LDR, how do you deal with loneliness? Because Skype and calling can only do so much :( | lonely as hell without my LDR boyfriend, please give me advice on how to keep my shit together until I can see him. |
t3_2h0vy5 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my G/F [19 F] 6 months, she's going overseas next year and I'm not sure if I want to stick the relationship out. | I'm not sure where to start but here it goes:
We've been in a relationship for 2 months, but have been seeing eachother for 6 months. We have our ups and downs as everyone does and I think we both like where we're at. We've both agreed we haven't fallen for each other yet but we're getting there.
A little while back she told me that her and 3 friends (2 being single and 1 in a relationship) are hoping to go overseas next year for at least 6 weeks. We've both agreed that we will break up when this happens because we don't want to put eachother through the pain of an LDR, and we're both young.
However, now that we've agreed that we'll break up, I can't get the idea out of my mind that what's the point of the next 8 months or so if we're going to end it anyway?
Don't get me wrong; I adore this girl so much and I'd love to stick around with her, and it hurts to think about it. I'm not sure what to do. | girlfriend is going overseas next year, we have agreed to break up then but I'm not sure if I want to stick out the next 8 months because it will hurt more when we break up. Any advice? |
t3_4bjwwg | relationships | My [23F] Girlfriend of 2 Years Says All I [25M] Want Is Sex | I'm going to make this as clear as I can. The other night, I took my girlfriend out to dinner. We had fun and it came time to take her home. She asked if I was going to come in her house and cuddle for awhile.
I said I didn't really feel like cuddling and wanted to go home. She asked if I wanted to have sex. I said Yeah that would be awesome. She then said nevermind. I asked her what she meant and she said how I didn't want to cuddle but I would of had sex.
She says that all I want is sex whenever all she wants is to cuddle. I still cuddle her alot (even without out sex) but she still gets upset when I don't want to cuddle and uses though "All you want is sex" line. | Girlfriend wants to cuddle all day everyday and gets upset when I don't and says "All I want is Sex". |
t3_50zuzt | tifu | TIFU by being a supportive friend | Some important information: I'm a 17 year old female virgin. Yesterday I was at a college football game with my friend and her family when I got a call from a mutual friend (we'll call him A) at half time. Its fairly noisy at the stadium but he insists he has to tell me this over the phone. He says my best friend (we'll call her B) had sex with her boyfriend a while back and is now two weeks late on her period. My mind immediately starts racing; I ask a few questions then hang up.
The entire third quarter I start mass researching late periods and pregnancy tests on google while texting A more questions. "Did they use protection?" "Does the boyfriend or her parents know?" The answers were along the lines of no and heck no. I'm trying to be respectful and not use my phone at the game in front of my friends parents but B could be sitting on the coach with a baby growing inside of her.
While texting A I get a text from B, "hi." As delicately as possible, I tried to find out if she's pregnant without directly asking. She shrugged off the late period and saying that nothing could be wrong since she hasn't done anything "bad". At this point I'm very confused and I asked what exactly B told A. "It's just a prank bro." Relieved yet very angry, I turn my phone on silent and almost break into tears as I try to enjoy the rest of the game.
Cut to today. My mom was taking a nap a I decided to hop on the bed and look at her phone. As soon as I unlock it (no password), I see google is open and in the search history is the most recent items I've googled. My jaw drops. My mom must have been at home last night looking at my search history thinking I got pregnant. She woke up and I acted like I didn't see anything.
My mom knows I'm an innocent kid but I've spent many days this summer away from home. I'll probably act like this didn't happen and move on. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | My friends thought it would be funny to pull a fake pregnancy prank, my mom might think I'm a pregnant harlot. |
t3_3yrxm1 | relationships | My [35F] high school sweetheart [35M] finally back in my life... but doesn't want more kids! :( | So we were 19/20 when we went out in HS, first loves, I broke his heart but he ended up being 'the one that got away'. 15 years later & 1 ex wife (12 years) w/ 2 kids + 1 ex gf (2 years).... he finally contacts me recently to tell me he's single & always carried a torch for me. I feel the same. We make plans for NYE & text/snapchat all the time.
I was afraid to ask why he broke it off with the seemingly perfect ex gf with great relationship otherwise & it was as I feared... "I don't want more kids & she does".
I'd love to get a chance to be with him, but I absolutely definitely for sure want kids... I'm almost 36 & unfortunately... tick tock!
Won't I have the same problem as the ex gf & should back off now to save myself the hurt? Or pursue full force & see if I'm different & he'll change his mind?
Help!
(Some extra info, I think child support is draining him... I'd be willing to sign something to state I would not seek child support or basically sign ANYTHING to ease his mind/issues/financial stress.... would this help???) | HS bf back in my life but doesn't want kids & left his ex for it. Is there hope for me? |
t3_z56t2 | relationships | I[M29] have a great gf [F26] who I've been dating for 1 year but I'm still in love with my ex. I feel like shit is going to hit the fan. | So about 4 years ago I dated a girl, lets name her Lana [F26]. We went out for a total of about 1 year, and she is probably the girl I have connected to most in my entire life. From the get go our personalities matched and we clicked very well. It's the best relationship I have had to this day. I wanted to marry her. Due to some mistakes on my part (I didn't cheat on her or anything like that) we broke up, and she is married now. I have never gotten over her.
My friends told me to just keep dating and I will eventually find "the right one" and forget about Lana. I've probably gone out with 20+ girls and dated 3-4 since Lana. Fast forward to today. I've been dating my current gf (let's call her Veronica) for the last 12+ months. On paper she is fantastic. She's gorgeous, kind, caring, down to earth, she comes from a great family and my parents love her and her family. I adore her. I really really do, but I know in my heart she's not the one. I know what I had with Lana and I was really hoping I would eventually come to love Veronica more and forget about her. I really tried, but I can't help it.
I feel as if I need to break it off with Veronica. It's not fair to her. I know we are headed in the direction of marriage if things keep going this way and I don't want to do that to her or lead her on. I really hoped I would come around, but I haven't.
I know what some will say. That this is a 500 days of summer story and that I sound as if I am deluded with the idea of Lana rather than Lana herself. It's unhealthy, I know. But I've really tried to date and go out as much as I can in and 4+ years I'm still not really happy.
I'm open to any and all opinions and suggestions. Thanks in advance. | I haven't gotten over my ex from 4 years ago even after dating many girls and having a great current gf. My gf is expecting marriage and I'm going to have to break up with her |
t3_3i2z83 | relationships | I (24/M) spoke with my girlfriend (23/F) of 7 months about our relationship "fading out". | My girlfriend (23/F) and I (24/M) have had an awesome relationship together. From the moment we first hung out we hit it off. It's been like a fairy tale.
However, as of late things have taken a turn. She started a very stressful job that limits the amount of time of time that we get to spend together, drastically. At best we get a weekend day together every other week and maybe a few hours during the evening each week.
We used to speak about how we knew we were "the one" for each other and everything was butterflies and shooting stars. But yesterday we spoke about how it's been making me depressed that she doesn't take the time to do the little things for me anymore. I feel that I go above and beyond to make her feel special, but I don't feel much of that in return. She says that she lacks the energy to perform those "little acts of kindness" but that she still loves me. I asked if she wants to peruse this and she said that she didn't know.
We proceeded to spend the day together and have a lot of fun. It was what we needed. But now she's left for another week of work and I feel empty and stressed because of our conversation yesterday.
Any suggestions on where to go from here? | girlfriend said I was "the one", started a new, high stress job and says she isn't sure anymore. I want to salvage what I can, but it's a 2 way street. |
t3_3436q6 | relationships | Reddit, do you think she (14, F) is flirting with me (14, M) and should I ask her out? | There's this girl in my bio class that I've known for a pretty long time now, I haven't known her super well, but we've known each other since elementary school.
Anyways, the entire year, i was thinking about asking her out a couple times, but always shied away at the last second.
I talk to her a good amount during class, and she laughs at the jokes and funny things I tell her as well as when I go off onto funny tangents with my teacher, who's a pretty cool guy.
Recently I asked her to send me a pic of her bio assignment because I wasn't really getting the instructions (I was, but you know how it is). Anyways, the conversation went like this.
Me: could you send me a pic of the journal you did so i can get a sense of what i have to do
Her: Yeah sure! Not home right now but I can send it when I get home.
Me: Alright thanks
A couple minutes later, she sends the pics. Then:
Her: Ok so the first pic is just a drawing, which u do for each one and the second is the first two , I haven't edited them yet but that's the basic idea
Me: So you have to write the info about ingestion, digestion, absorption, and egestion for each of the 6 organisms
and then u also have to make a drawing for each?
Her: Yes haha. Good luck!
Me: Lol alright, that was much easier to understand than from clark
thanks
Her: Np anytime!!
So Reddit, should I ask her out? Is she interested in me? | Been talking with a girl a bit, went through a convo today on FB in which she may have been flirting, should I ask her out? |
t3_j89sc | AskReddit | Reddit - I need help understanding the deal with wholesale airfares from a travel agent | Firstly this is not about "wholesale airfares" from any website. When I say wholesale airfares I am talking about wholesale airfares purchased through a Travel Agency or Agent.
I work at a large company in NZ. We were recently told that we have a new staff benefit - access to wholesale international flights plus a small booking fee (<$50) from a reputable travel agency.
My husband and I are travelling to Europe next year so thought it would be a good opportunity to upgrade and travel Business Class. I received a quote for my wholesale flights. Found the flights on Expedia and I was saving $2,000 on all flights by using the wholesale option – for this I was comparing apples for apples - same flight numbers and all taxes included on both quotes.
I then did a general search of Expedia for Business class fares on the same route and it came back $2,000 cheaper than the cheapest wholesale flight combo.
I have never worked in the travel industry and don't know how any of this works and am quite confused now!
So Reddit I ask you this: What costs and proportions of them go into making up an airfare? How much less should a wholesale airfare be when purchasing through a travel agency or agent? Have you ever used wholesale airfares (not the website) and what was your experience. | Got a wholesale airfare quote from a travel agent that was more than Expedia - please help explain wholesale airfares to me! |
t3_2kiz7u | relationships | I [18 M] seem to have a problem with my girlfriend [18 M/F] drinking in general. | So to sum up everything quick, some background information of me: Parents broke up when I was around five because my father was a raging alcoholic. He was at the point of drinking rubbing alcohol, and was in the hospital, where the doctors called my mother and told her he was probably going to die. Luckily he didn't, but parents still broke up. Fast forward 10 years and mom becomes a daily alcoholic where she starts drinking every night possible and passing out black out drunk. It was a shitty childhood. Until I was around 16, where my mom quit and became a AA member, as is my father. So childhood got ruined from it. Also had many relationships where girls cheated on me and blamed it on alcohol. So my problem is that my girlfriend is in college and i am finishing up my last year in HS. She used to be a huge partier until we started dating and toned down so much. We have been together over a year and a half . She rarely goes out but when she does she likes to drink. And this makes me really sad and mad in a way, What do i do to help fix this. She's in college and I want her to her to have fun without me being a crazy boyfriend. Could someone please help? | Childhood ruined and shit past from alcohol. Girlfriend rarely drinks but i still get mad over it, yet I don't want to. What do I do? |
t3_3qzfu2 | AskDocs | SEEKING MEDICAL HELP | My brother is 17 and had 3 previous TBI(Traumatic Brain Injuries) before he was diagnosed with POTS(Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) last November. Earlier this year he was also diagnosed with several allergies to major foods(soy, dairy, fructose, and gluten). Due to the stress, constant doctors appointments, ever-changing medications, and everything else that comes with these illnesses he lost over 140 lbs. At this point his medical professionals have told us that we have exhausted all modern medicine and we have tried a local naturopath but his condition is still deteriorating. We've, also, recently started the FODMAP diet and are now on a regimen of a variety of natural vitamins but nothing has changed or improved. If there is anyone out there that could shed some light on our situation or guide us to a health professional that can do something for my brother please, please contact me as soon as possible. | my brother is slowly dying from his illness and all modern medicine has been exhausted. I'm trying to find someone that can shed light on his situation or guide us to someone who can. |
t3_zp2mk | relationships | [23F] wants to hold hands with [25M] friend of 2+years, but feels shy about it because of culture expectations. | Hi.
Where I am from it's common to hug and kiss your friends. We often hold hands when walking together and share the same bed during sleepovers. Where I live now, California, is not the case. I have a friend, and yesterday when he was driving me home I wanted to hold his hand. I feel very comfortable around him, like friends from my old country, and it felt normal to feel that urge. I restricted myself because I am concerned I will freak him out if I did such a thing while he driving.
I had an emotional affair with this friend 14 months ago. We would talk sexual, but he gave up on me as I have a boyfriend [24m] and he saw I was staying with the boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years now, we plan on marrying soon. My issue is, I have just a friend now and we only hang out as friends, so I want to treat him like a friend from the old country but cannot because of culture? And because of mixed singals because of the old affair? I am very lost.
Please help. | I want to hold hands with a friend but am I worried the coldness of Californian culture (compared to my warm culture) shall cause a clash that will stress the relationship. What should be done? |
t3_cqo39 | AskReddit | Hi Reddit. I have a problem, and I think its running my life. Any advice? | I have a sleeping disorder. Not in the sense that I can't sleep. But I can't control my sleeping patterns. I can never fall asleep before 2-3am, and find it extremely hard to wake up. I have a 9-5 job, and my girlfriend has to force me out of bed every single morning, and I'm usually running to make the train on time (and usually miss it).
On weekends, sometimes I don't fall asleep till 4-5am. And when I do finally fall asleep, I don't wake up till 7-8pm at night. Take for example, last night (friday), I forced myself to bed at 11pm, but I just couldn't sleep. So I decided to read a book. Before I knew it, it was 3am. Not sure when I finally fell asleep, but my alarm clock rang at 8am. I slept through it. Missed a few phone call from friends. My girlfriend tried to wake me up a few times at 10am, but with no affect. I finally woke up at 7pm, all groggy and irritated - ended up having an argument with nearly everyone at home. When I finally took a shower 15 mins later, I realized that I had no reason to be angry, and felt like a complete idiot. But it was too late by then. I had pissed my girlfriends and friends off.
I haven't seen daylight on weekends for about 2 months now, as I always end up sleeping till 7-9pm, no matter what time I go to bed. My friends have stopped making weekend plans with me because they know I'll be sleeping. My girlfriend is on a tight rope with me as I always end up screaming or arguing with her when I wake up. This is ruining my life and I fear I may end up losing all my friends. Please HELP! | > I can't wake up from sleep when I'm meant to. When I do, I'm irritable. Help. |
t3_10a09z | relationship_advice | [22/m] my Ex-gf [21/f] is reaching out to me. Need Help | Okay, the preamble here is that we started dating in 6th grade, and on and off through 10th grade. That is when I was diagnosed with some mental conditions and had to go away for treatment. We decided we were too codependent and she stopped talking to me for a few years. We started talking again when we were both in relationships, and her relationship ended but I stayed in mine. She then met someone and has been with him for 3 years now. My relationship ended 2 years ago. We've sort of had moments of talking about what it would be like to be together throughout recent times, and incidents have occurred (like her FaceTiming me touching herself drunk and telling me she loves me and no matter what she feels like we'll end up together). Lately her relationship has gotten rocky and they've talked about taking a break, but she wants to keep trying. Basically, I just don't know what to do anymore...she's recently (last month or so) told me things like she wishes she was Mormon so she could love us both (chuckle)...she thinks I'm her soulmate but that I'm just no good for her, or I'm not in a place for a relationship (I still have my bouts with depression). She tells me that she "knows" it wouldn't work out between us because it didn't work out for us in 10th grade...which I told her that's just what she has to tell herself to keep her current standing. Then last night she called me at 4:30 AM just wanting to talk, and asked if I wanted to come over to sleep with her (literally sleep), and she got just generally upset and couldn't relax so I sang to her so she could fall asleep. Now I just don't know how to proceed. Does anyone have similar experiences and/or even just a quote to sort of help? I'm pretty lost out here. | ex-gf thinks i'm her soulmate but i'm no good for her, but reaches out to me often now talking to me about our love, when i try to give advice she ...idk what to do. |
t3_13vjed | AskReddit | Can any of you Redditors help me create an "unofficial" college transcript to show my parents? | It's not a matter of grades honestly it's a matter of classes. I never had to try or study in high school, I was a naturally smart guy who could manage those types of classes with minimal effort. College requires more prudent time-management skills and prioritizing that I never properly developed in high school. So after I had a horrible freshman year (that my parents are fully aware of) I started taking more general classes and exploring my interests instead of staying the course in my first choice of major. I was just hoping if someone had a program or knew of a free website to help me swap a few classes out so my parents don't go nuts. I live under their roof and they signed off on the loans with me, but I am paying for my own school. I had older siblings who got no help so I will get no help. PM me for details if you can make this | Not flunking out of college just trying to switch classes so my parents don't get mad I'm changing majors. So any help is appreciated PM me for details if you can make this |
t3_1g9p05 | tifu | TIFU by passing out on the sidewalk | My friends and I decided to grab a few drinks (not beers but mixed tequilas and shit) it was pretty chill at first but after a few hours I said fuck it let's get wasted so we drank from one bar to another until we pretty much got carried away and I blacked out.
The moment I gained consciousness, I was lying on the sidewalk next to the boarding house I live in (how could I miss?) checked what time it is--hold on, *where the fuck is my watch?* I got up and my feet felt wet, as I looked down--*where the fuck are my shoes?* I checked my pockets, all empty. Also, my elbows were bleeding and my eyeglasses were missing. Still too buzzed to care, I assumed I left my wallet and phone in one of the bars and tripped while walking home, so I just went inside and luckily the gatekeeper's there to open me up.
Next morning I asked my friend online if he remembers how I got home and where he last saw my things. He told me I never took out my phone the whole night, and he let me rode the taxi first. I may have left my wallet in the cab, but I can never remember that. Still unanswered questions, I asked the gatekeeper to check if he saw my shoes outside and that's when he had a cleared doubt on his face and told me what he saw last night.
According to him, while he's peeking through the door he saw **a group of fucking thugs** circling me lying down on the ground. Giggling. Laughing. It was so dark he couldn't identify who I was so he just shrugged it off. I couldn't fucking believe it, I'm not sure if I got stripped off or looted and the only left of me was my clothes. I was almost afraid thinking about it and at the same time I wanted to punch my self in the face. Now I'm phoneless, blind, broke and I'm too scared to go outside after what happened. | got wasted passed out on the street group of thugs "looted" my phone, wallet, watch, eyeglasses and shoes. |
t3_4gbtoi | relationships | My girlfriend [20] broke up with me [22] three days after my dad died | I had been dating this girl from roughly 10 months (not long, I know) before she decided to break up with me three whole days after my dad [60] passed away from his battle with early-onset Alzheimer's, which was about a month ago now (also only 2 days after my 22nd birthday).
In such a short time, in the most cliche way possible, I fell incredibly hard for this girl. We made long term plans, used the "L" word frequently, and shared things that all signified a real long-term invested relationship. I can honestly say my time with her was the best time of my life. She broke up with me as I became bitter and callous towards the end of my father's life. Like a fool I reached out to her time and time again, resulting in a blocked cell phone number and social media shutout.
I'm having a hard time reconciling the person who I believed to be the love of my life, and the person who would leave me at one of the toughest times imaginable. More than anything, despite all of this, I wish to speak with her and convey that who I was during those times wasn't a reflection of who I truly am and how I felt she should have been treated, but I will not get that chance. I will graduate from college soon and will be getting on with my life, but my plans for the future have changed significantly. We had made plans for our next steps as a couple after I graduated and now am left to re-make my whole agenda just months before real life takes hold. She seems to not be grieving the relationship which is also hurtful as it may signify her words and promises were nothing but b.s.
I guess I'm just at a loss for how to feel, how to move on, and what my next steps should be. In the meantime I've been trying to "get back out there" and enjoy the company of other women, but it so far has been unfulfilling in terms of happiness or any real healing. | Supposed love of my life left me at my darkest hour. How do i heal from this, and simultaneously move on to start my life as a full fledge adult? |
t3_za7nx | dating_advice | Reddit, I messed up big time. Need advice... | Last weekend, I got blacked out drunk. I ended up hooking up with a creepy dude that I've known for a couple of years. Problem is, I have a boyfriend. Well, like I said, I was blacked out when it happened and I didn't know that anything had even happened until last night when the dude shows up at a party at my house and tells my boyfriend what happened.
I have no idea what was going through my mind when I hooked up with him. My boyfriend is the first man I've ever loved, and sober me would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. It is hard because I truthfully have no recollection of it even happening.
I know that blacking out is no excuse, that kind of behavior is unacceptable no matter what. My boyfriend and I are stuck now. Neither of us know what to do. I love him so much and don't want to lose him. I've told him how I feel about him and I've apologized too many times to even count, but he is finding it hard to believe (which I don't blame him for). He's been cheated on in the past, so it has brought up some painful memories for him. Reddit, what do I do? How would you approach this situation? I don't even know what to say... | got blacked out drunk, cheated on boyfriend, don't want to lose him, don't know what to do. |
t3_2q9w6u | relationships | Me 29 M with my ex [27 F] 2 years, She left me... now everything is a hell | 2 years relation
I got her cheating on me more than a year ago She got me cheating on her during a lot of time (my bad) :-(
We had many problems to overcome this... But after it we have had a nice healthy relation for the last 3 months.
I wen on a trio and while i was out of the country she call me. She has met a guy and she is feeling stuff for him so she is taking out my stuff from our home.
Rest of my trip was shit
When i arrive to our city we talk, she regret it. She says she loves me we make love during 2 or 3 days... And everything goes well until sunday.
Same sunday afternoon she tells me she changed her mind. She is going to spend 2 days with tht guy in our house...
After that we agree to talk about the situation today (i know i should have kick her out of my life... but i am stupid and still love her)... The thing is when we are going to meet she leaves the city to her parents' So she doesnt talk to me and my stuff is still in (she took my keys).
After that i call the guy she has been with and nicely explained him she has been with me the whole 2 previous days and explain him he is getting into a relation.
Situation now: She is angry at me after i talk to the guy she cheated on me. She has said she will denounce me if i get into our flat to get my stuff. And she is threaten me to sink my life....
I really dont know how to handdle this...
It should be me the one angry, not her :-( | Went on a trip, when i come back my life is a mess. My GF is cheating on me and threatening me :-0 Wht to do? |
t3_y7rsy | relationships | [21/f] wants to do breast enlargement, I [23/m] don't want her to | EDIT: MAYBE. Want to MAYBE do breast enlargement. It seems people are just reading the title, thus the edit.
After a year long LDR I finally moved to the country of my girlfriend (don't worry, met her IRL for a few weeks first) to be with her. Things (relationship/communication/sex/watchingbreakingbad) have been great but recently she's been bringing up breast enlargement more and more.
I realise insecurity's only to be expected, but I love any/all breasts, and am principally against plastic surgery (unless someone's disfigured in a crash or has physical pain or something). She's got lovely 34B's, is considered sexy by most (plenty of friends hitting on her) and I don't really understand her need to be more "perfect". Anytime I now bring up a celebrity, she starts comparing her breasts and I fear she's always been doing this, but now out loud. In short, she's been seriously suggesting saving up for a breast enlargement surgery.
A friend told me it's her own battle to fight, but standing on the sidelines feels bad. For the record, I've been doing all the obvious things you do in a relationship: complimenting her entire body, involving her chest in sex, trying to convince her with logical arguments -- heh. | Gf is amazing but insecure about breasts, is there any way I can help her with this, and is it even in my right to say something about her wanting surgery? |
t3_10oevg | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [22] says he feels trapped in our relationship as we've just moved in together, but won't talk about it. | We're at university and have both just started our second year. We got together in November of our first year and he suggested living together this year. I had some doubts as I was worried that he would miss out on living with his guy friends, but he said he really wanted to live with me because he loved me etc.
Fast forward and we've now been living together 2 weeks. He started being really distant with me almost as soon as we moved in, and after 3 days announced that next year (3rd year of university) he was going to move in with his guy friends. I was pretty upset as I thought I must have done something wrong for him to decide after only 3 days that he didn't want to live with me, and also because I was now going to have to live with him for the rest of the year, whilst knowing that he didn't really want to be here.
He's still being really off with me and told me the other night (when he was drunk) that he feels really trapped in the relationship, but that he doesn't want to break up. Whenever I've tried to ask him about he flat out refuses to talk about it. This is a bit of a recurring theme, whenever we have problems he just refuses to talk about them and makes out that I'm "making a big deal about it".
I don't know what to do about it, I feel like he's really down about living with me, but he won't talk about it. Neither of us can afford to change our living arrangements this year as we signed a contract for our current house for the whole of this year. I love him, but I don't love the way he's treating me at the moment.
What should I do, what should I say to him? Any advice would be appreciated, feel free to ask for any more info :) | Boyfriend is unhappy living together and says he feels trapped, but won't talk about it. Have to live together until June 2013 as we signed a contract on our house. Don't know what to do. |
t3_287jz5 | relationships | Me (21/f) with my date (25/m). Does he have high self esteem or is he just conceited? | I met a guy about two months ago. We went on a few dates and seem to like each other. We mostly talk in person (dates, meet ups) but text sometimes. We don't know each other that well but I've seen him maybe twice a week since we met. I think I have a pretty good handle on what type of person he is. He seems like a nice guy.
However, I recently started following him on Instagram and it's seriously cringe worthy. I feel like I'm following a 13 yr old girl. Just think a bunch of "artsy" self portraits of himself in different lighting showing off his chest hair. Most are without his shirt. Some are just face shots with a raised brow or a lip lick.
Is this a red flag? Is he just confident? I don't really think it's necessary but whatever floats your boat, I guess? He doesn't come off conceited or "too much" in person which is why I'm still thinking of dating him. Although if we were to become an item, I think I'd be pretty uncomfortable with his profile. He's trying too hard to come off seductive and while he is a single man (we are not exclusive yet), I definitely wouldn't find his pictures appropriate if we were.
Is this way too soon to bring up? He's invited me to a close family/friends picnic so I can meet people so I can see us getting there eventually. | Guy I'm seeing comes off as conceited and into himself online. I don't know how this will translate in person. |
t3_2xf2sk | relationships | I [28/M] dont feel like going to my grandma's birthday party tonight | My grandma turned 75 yesterday. My aunt (50/f) planned a whole birthday weekend to celebrate. Friday night food and drinks at her house. Saturday church and a nice dinner. Sunday bowling and fun at an arcade.
I told her my gf (25/f) and I would be able to come to the party friday night and bowling Sunday but I'm busy on Saturday. Well it's Friday night and my girlfriend and I both had to work all day, and neither one of us feels like leaving the house. I really don't feel like going but I can't think of any excuse. I still want to go Sunday cause I know it would mean alot to my grandma. So I can't really say I'm sick and then show up Sunday ready to bowl and run around and play games. Any ideas? | My aunt planned a big weekend long bash for my grandmas birthday. I committed to Friday and Sunday but don't feel like doing anything tonight. I need an excuse. |
t3_44z181 | relationships | Me [31/F] with my Ex[32/M] I want him out of my apartment. He's not on the lease but pays rent. | I am just wondering if I can legally kick my ex out of my apartment.
I am the only one on the lease and he moved in with me early into our relationship after I had been living here for a year or so.
I am trying to kick him out but he doesn't want to leave. He says that since he pays rent and all of his stuff is here that I cannot just kick him out. He is not on the lease and I live in an apartment complex. They have no idea he lives here.
I am not sure of the laws. Since he has been paying rent, can I not get him to leave? I live in WA state. | Ex doesn't want to leave my apartment. He is not on the lease but pays rent. I want him out. Is it legal to just get him removed? |
t3_38f0gv | legaladvice | Can an auto insurance company repair / total a car without the owner's permission? | Location: Ohio
My sister was driving my car. After being told, repeatedly and in writing that she was not allowed to drive the car. Someone hit the car, resulting in considerable damage. The other party is at fault, per the police report and per their insurance company.
After the accident, I told my sister, again in writing, not to touch the car, not to move the car (parked on her private property with no restrictions about parked cars), and that I would have to talk to my insurance company before authorizing any repairs.
A few days later, the other driver's insurance company called me at work to get "my information." I told her I didn't have time to deal with this (true) and hung up.
Fast forward to today, when I find out that my car is sitting in some shady garage 30 miles away, in pieces, and likely totaled. The insurance agent has been communicating with my sister. They've paid for her to have a rental car and they towed the car to the garage.
When I called the agent, I asked if she knew that my sister wasn't the owner of the car, and she said yes. When I asked if she knew that I hadn't authorized any of this, she also said yes. She said that since I hung up on her, she didn't have a choice and had to move forward with repairing the car.
I'm wondering if this is how insurance companies typically handle claims. Am I forced to accept whatever they offer? I know that accidents happen, but I'd like to decide who fixes my car. If they decide that they aren't liable (I haven't signed a single form, so they could), could I be responsible for the costs incurred so far - rental car, tow fee, and labor / examination fee at shop?
I know I could probably sue my sister in small claims court, but she's an unemployed drug addict who will likely be dead or in jail by the end of the year, so I'll never see a cent. | Someone else was driving my car. She was in an accident and not at fault. The at-fault party's insurance company took my car and started repairs without my consent. Am I stuck? |
t3_2bsg2x | relationship_advice | [21/M] I fancy a friend [19/F] who recently broke up with another friend [20/M] but they want to get back together. I'm happy for them both as a couple. How can I move on? | When my female friend broke up with her boyfriend, even though I knew they were taking some time off to consider whether their relationship was heading anywhere and were probably going to get back together, I started to develop a romantic attachment.
They're still talking with each other and with a mentoring couple trying to get to a stage where their relationship can work.
I'm happy for them both and I'd like to be able to move on from my feelings because I know how hard they want their relationship to work, and knowing them both well, it definitely can.
Neither of them know how I feel about the female friend. Do I tell the male and or female friend in the hopes that getting it out in the open will help me move on from these feelings? Or should I just wait for the status of their relationship to be cemented; my feelings should dissipate once their relationship is more clear cut.
I do not want to compete with my male friend, or jeopardize their relationship while it still is up in the air. On the other hand, while I am closer to the female friend than the male one [I know the male one through the female one] I don't think he will see me as a threat if I confessed that I had feelings for the girl in question. Just awkward.
Advice?
Note that we're all Christian. There's no Christian dating advice subreddit, but given this isn't a faith issue I thought this subreddit would suffice. The reason they took some time off from their relationship is related to their faith, but I don't think that part of the story is crucial to giving advice. | How do I get over a girl who is unavailable when part of me holds onto my feelings because she is technically single at the moment? |
t3_4i2drh | relationships | [22m] how to move on and be alone after being in a 4 year LTR | Throwaway of course.
I just got out of a relationships that was 4 years long. We lived together for a couple of years as well. To make a long story short, she basically said she didn't love me anymore. She denies infidelity and I believe that because she would have never had the time to do so, and at this point there would really be no reason to lie about it. I've come to terms with the fact that there is nothing I can do about that and if she really doesn't love me anymore, then she doesn't.
The problem is that I am still very much in love with her.
I know that in the LONG run everything will be okay, but I'm hurting very much right now. We did everything together and our lives were very intertwined. So I am basically going from having a partner in crime all the time to having absolutely nothing at all at the snap of the fingers.
First, I'm looking for advice on how to move past this thing buzzing in my head that a seemingly great relationship just suddenly ended on me with no chance to fix things. She mentioned that she had been unhappy for about a month, but she never voiced this to me and instead apparently spent that last month emotionally detaching from me.
Second, how do I just start being alone at this point? My hobbies were basically doing anything with her. Of course there's things I like to do, but I've read here that I probably shouldn't just hole up in my room and play video games. I do have a couple of really good friends, but they have lives too including their own LTRs.
Third, how do I move on to dating in the future? I don't think I'm quite ready now, but I will be eventually. I don't really know how to meet new women, I met my ex kind of on a fluke that shouldn't have happened in the first place, then we were together for a long time so I'm not really familiar with meeting people. I don't really like to go to bars or anything like that. | LTR ends suddenly and heart-breakingly. How do I forget, move on, and help myself for the future? |
t3_3j7ayg | tifu | TIFU by freezing a new galaxy at a Costco | (Note: I'm on mobile, sorry for format, this also happened a year ago)TIFU by freezing a brand new display model of a Galaxy. So its around 11:30 in the morning, me and my family just arrived at Costco to do our shopping for meat and stuff. I ask my dad if I can go to the front of the store and look at the new TV's, phones, tablets etc. (Here it comes, the FU)So I'm at the front checking out a new floor model of the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10in. and I had watched a video of easter eggs for android 4.4.0 KitKat, so I decided to try out the egg where I had to repeatedly had to tap on the software version bar thingy and hope I would get the result I wanted. So I got my result and I decided I should return to the home page by pressing the back button instead of the home button(yes, stupid I know) and when I try it, it doesn't want to return. I stay for a bit, hoping nobody would notice. I then proceed to leave it alone for a bit and just walk away. I look back at the tablet and I see this Asian couple trying to check it out but they see it was stuck on the screen that said Android KitKat imitating the wrapper of a KitKat bar, so I think they had someone come check it out and reset it but I walked away before I could see anything else about the situation. | I froze a Galaxy Tab 10in. at Costco, noped away, couple tried to work it, no luck. |
t3_1a4kmp | relationships | My Girlfriend [28] is depressing because of her dead-end job and I [26] can't cheer her up, any advice? | Here we go: my girlfriend has graduated for 2 years and passed a couple of extra exams to get even more qualified. She got fancy diploma but can't find an interesting job or at least something with decent salary, even if she's working super hard. She's getting super depressed about that and tells me her life is a failure. I'm getting more and more concerned about her, she was always very cheerful and happy. But now she's considering quitting her job and pass even more exams. I've got no idea if it's a good idea or not. Because I'm not sure she'll find a better job after that.
Right now ( | ) **I could use some advice to cheer up my moody girlfriend. She hates her job and her life.** |
t3_4bxkat | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend[23 M] of 2.5 years really wants to have threesomes, he even nearly ended it because we weren't. | Me and my boyfriend have had a few issues due to stress but nothing major. I'm in my Masters year and he graduated a few years ago so it's two different lives which are sometimes hard to work together. A couple of months ago he didn't know if he wanted to be with me, I thought it was down to this, after days of me saying you need to think, what more do you want, I can't make you love me but I need an answer etc (baring in mind we live together and I had to see him which broke my heart every day). It came down to him wanting a more exciting sex life with threesomes and sex parties. This hurt quite a bit. We have sex most days and do experiment so it isn't boring. I can see how sleeping with the same person might be a bit bland for the odd week or so but i'd never question a relationship for it.
So in bed he discusses if we were to have another women here I play along and talk. I find women attractive and would consider it one day but I definitely do not want one with my partner I would be too jealous.
I feel sometimes I should just do it it's just sex right? I don't want him to get more and more bored he says it something he can't turn off. But I 1) Don't think I could do it with a girl, totally not ready and 2) Don't want to see him with anyone else. He said he'd be fine seeing me with someone else so doesn't really get where I am coming from. I think I might one day lose him due to this because he seems more and more distant and bothered when I say I don't think it'll happen.
Should I just try it? Where do you even start? How does it even work? | I discuss threesomes with my boyfriend in bed but actually doing it I told him I don't think I could. He nearly ended the relationship because of this, Should I just have the threesome? |
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