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t3_zr92u | AskReddit | Reddit, why is it okay to be bigoted toward all of Islam? After reading hundreds of comments tonight, I am ashamed to be a part of you. | Seriously, since when is it okay to start grouping all of Islam into one cluster, yet they can't do it to us? 9/11 seems to have brought out the worst in everyone, especially American Redditors. I have seen absolutely the most ridiculously hypocritical comments tonight on [these] [three] [threads](
Comments about how U.S. Marines should have opened fire and "fuck Islam" have received dozens if not hundreds of upvotes while comments about remaining reasonable, logical Human beings whom can distinguish between the actions of some extreme individuals and 1 billion other people get downvoted into oblivion.
Reddit is supposed to be the voice of reason and relevance, but on 9/11, a big test has shown you all to be just as susceptible to mob mentality as the rest of the world. There are no excuses for letting your comments get out of control and making Reddit a place unfriendly to an entire religion totaling over 1 billion people in the world. In the face of the death of one American, you have turned into a machine of hatred and contempt overnight.
In America, we have learned that every individual Human is different, unique, and special. This is not limited to Americans and should be extended to Muslims too. Why has that gone out the door now? As a Humanist American, I am ashamed.
Congratulations on being as bigoted as those whom attacked American embassies.
/End vent | Reddit freaked out over anti-American protests and blamed all of Islam on a day we are supposed to show we are not bigoted assholes. |
t3_19whsr | relationships | [M/20] My girlfriend [19] wants to experience study abroad, with the possibility of other men. Help. | We've been dating for about 4 months now, and we know that she's studying abroad in the summer in London for two months.
She's explained that she's never felt this way about anyone else, that I'm someone she can imagine marrying, all ideas, even if premature, I value greatly.
This summer, however, she's worried about hurting me because she knows she's going to London, and wants to adopt a very "live in the moment" attitude.
I'm seriously trying to consider a "break" for this summer, but I don't know how to handle the resulting trust issues I know I'll have. We have great chemistry, mutual sexual attraction, and are very intimate emotionally, and I don't want to lose that.
I worry I might question the legitimacy of her claims, which worries me for any long term ideas I might have with her. | girlfriend is going abroad, will probably want a break in case she wants to be with other guys. Boyfriend asking for help/advice |
t3_o3wke | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I heard you like to help people. | Firstly, I know this isn't normally how you AskReddit; that being said, hey Reddit, may I ask you something?
A good friend of mine (and reddit lurker) passed away recently, and while it's been hard for a lot of us, it's been much harder for his family, as I'm sure is the case for many who have (unfortunately) had similar experiences. His family lives in the same neighborhood as my best friend, and I would see him all the time, as he and I would frequent our friend.
He was the kind of guy that made everyone want to be a better person; was selfless, and always caring about people. ([He helped raise thousands of dollars for people who needed wheelchairs!] He dedicated his life to helping others ([here's a picture of him in Kenya where he helped to build houses] and never asked for anything in return, except maybe a good conversation paired with a good beer.
His family needs some help. He was taken from us at the ripe age of 21, and the impact has yet to hit many of us. I have seen the power of reddit change many peoples lives.
So Reddit, I ask you, will you help strangers to you, and friends to me? The link below is a site to where you may (if you feel the need) donate to help his family. If nothing else, upvote to celebrate a good friend, person, son and brother. Thank you all for reading. | A great friend of our community passed on, and his family is in a bad spot. If you'd like to help out in any way, please visit the webpage below. Thank you. |
t3_4r6abh | relationships | I'm [F, 20] growing apart from two of my best friends [F, 20]. | So this is going to be very long, and I apologize. I go to college in a different country than two of my best friends whom I've known since we were 10-11. We've been through a lot together and they've stuck with me through some very difficult times. We used to talk for hours everyday. But for the last two years, ever since I started college, I feel like there's been a gap. I feel like we have completely different ideas and priorities now. For example: I'm single, and botgh of them are committed in very loving relationships, we live in different countries, we have completely different social circles.
They also live with their families and I live alone. It's a very tense situation because they've previously told me like they felt that I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship, but I've tried to correct that and now I feel like the opposite. I feel like they've completely given up and that scares the shit out of me. I'm almost afraid to meet up with them now (I'm on summer break and back home) because I'm afraid of worsening an already delicate situation. I'm very sad that i'm growing apart from two of my best, oldest friends, and I feel so powerless. We have absolutely nothing in common anymore. How do I try to improve my relationship with these friends? | I feel like I'm growing apart from two of my closest friends, and I feel powerless to stop it. What do I do? |
t3_34gbce | relationships | Should I [F/24] break off my 7 year relationship with my bf [M/25] if I'm really not happy? His temper has me at my limit now? | I've been with him since I was 17. He's always had a bad temper but it's been getting worse lately. It makes me feel bad though because once he's done with his temper tantrums he acts all loving again towards me.
We've been fighting a lot lately over why he gets angry so easily. When he's mad he will give me the silent treatment for days or even a week at a time. He got mad yesterday because he asked what I was doing. I was with my friends so I didn't see the text he sent until about 20 minutes after he sent it. I said I would be home soon and I would call him then. He said no I either answer him now or forget it.
I got home about 40 minutes later and called him, he ignored my call and text for 2 hours. When he finally answered he said "next time I text you, you better answer I don't care who the Fuck you're with". I NEVER act like this towards him, all I wanted to do was ask was why he hadn't been bothering to call or text me to say hi for about a week and a half now when we got into an argument about how my parents were calling me while we were hanging out to ask when I would be home.
So last night when he told me I better freakin answer him when he texts me I finally couldn't take it anymore and I told him he is to respect me and not talk to me like that because I never act like that towards him. He just responded with "yawn you're making me yawn, what limit could you possibly have" I told him I don't know about us being together anymore if he can't take me seriously. He just sent me another text saying "I'm done talking to you. I'm going out."
Should I even try anymore..? | my boyfriend of 7 years has always had a bad temper and is real mean towards me then is loving again when he gets over his tantrum. Is this worth trying to fix? |
t3_cil4c | needadvice | "Interesting" wildlife encounter in my back yard. Should I think about getting a rabies shot? | There was a raccoon wandering around my back yard. Approached me when I went outside, walked oddly, made weird sounds. I decide to get it off my property, so I grab a baseball bat and start nudging it towards the woods. It barely reacted, even when I rolled it over by pushing it a bit harder with the bat, and I had to keep encouraging it to GTFO. Now that's weird enough, right? At this point I'm thinking it's definitely sick or something, but I just want it gone.
At the edge of my property, it gets very aggressive very suddenly. It starts freaking out, hissing growling, attack position, etc. It even makes a quick rush at me, but I scare it back again. I decide It's probably rabid, and dispatch it with the baseball bat, figuring that's the best thing to do. there's loads of people and pets around where I live, and I sure as shit don't want anything bad to happen. So. 1 quick hard blow to the back of the head, pretty much did the trick. couple more for good measure. I don't like doing things like that, and I didn't want it to suffer. It never touched me, bit me, clawed me, or anything like that, but I'm wondering if I should consider a rabies treatment. As far as I know, I did not get any blood on me, or anything like that. There was probably/maybe a little spatter, but nothing I could see. | Killed a rabid Raccoon with a baseball bat at pretty close range, didn't bite or claw me, or anything like that |
t3_3aq1cz | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [17 F] duration 1.5yr, long distance is hard, and she does not think communication is important. | It seems weird how girls would always wanna chat with their bf but this is totally the opposite. We known each other for 3yrs before she confessed to me and started a relationship together but for the whole time she does not think that chatting is a important part of a relationship. Only a yr ago she moved to US to study college (im in asia) where things just got even harder to keep a connection since there times where she does not reply for a most a week. Then times she reply saying she's tired and is going to bed, saying good night and thats it. rarely we get a good hour or more conversation but that feels rare. i never get mad at it cause she's gotta focus on her studies and i have to as well, but to maintain a relationship there's gotta be some limit to how much we need to talk right?
i try to talk about it but the only reason why she does not want/feel like chatting is because she is satisfied with current status and me to the point that she does not feel attachment and does her own thing (hobbies, study) over talking, which is cool but not saying a word for a week seems to be pretty bad. i asked my friends whats their limit and they all give the 1day as their limit.
I just feel im missing out on life and kinda wanna just break it off some times to date someone else, but at the same time the way we talk and our goals for the future are so similar that i just feel that im possibly going to make a big mistake. im just 50 50 on this going back and forth.
Friends tell me shes just younger and might change later on, but how can i be sure. It can happen and it might not. Some how i just feel and tell myself im over reacting but its clear that im the only one thats enduring this long relationship. Shes fine, shes happy with me, but i just wanna talk/chat.
I personally dont know what to think, new to this (relationship reddit thing, wanna see what you guys have to say) (thank you for being nice/kind ahead of time) | Its hard to feel loved when the one you love does not think chatting is important. I see a future when she comes back but still wanna live/experience the present as well. |
t3_1zq7e7 | relationships | Me [25F] with my best guy friend [28M] of several years, am I overthinking this? | I am a 25F, happily married to 25M for over 2 years (been together for 6). My closest friend is a 28M who just sort of went through a break up. He and I are very close and talk pretty much every day, but there has never been anything romantic between us. No sex, no kissing, not even a single date. We have openly discussed why dating each other (even if I *were* single) would end badly and he has openly told me that he would not sleep with a married woman and is not a threat to my marriage (not that he was a threat to begin with, but I appreciate the sentiment).
Anyway, my friend is about to move to the completely opposite side of the country for a job. We live on the east coast and he is moving to the west coast. He asked me, in a totally serious way, if I would like to road trip with him to this new city when he leaves in a few weeks. Now, I can't do it because I can't get the time off work in any case, so I told him no.
I just can't help but wonder, though, if asking someone to drive across the country with you is a little too personal/intimate for a platonic friendship? I mean, that would involve at least one or two nights in a hotel along the way. Is it possible that my friend is developing feelings for me, or am I just reading too much into it? | My platonic 28M friend asked me, a married 25F, to go on a cross-country road trip with him. Is he into me, or am I just overthinking a friendly gesture? |
t3_2rjml3 | relationships | I (20/F) feel like I made a mistake with guy (22/M). More than friends. | So J (the guy) and I have been kinda off and on for a while. The relationship would stress me out, because I could never tell what we were. J finally comes around to make things official, but I'm not confident that it would work out, I also have so self esteem issues that would hinder my decision making too. We have our disagreements, but work through it. J was gone for a week or so for family, and I realize that I might just need to be alone. I bring this up with J and he understands, and he still cares about me. I'm worried that I was just being insecure and would want to take it back. I know I do need to work on my self, but part of me still wants to be with him. | Self-esteem issues have me doubting if I could maintain a relationship with a guy who wants to commit. Should I ask if he would reconsider once I've fixed what's going on with me? Or should I move on completely? |
t3_um0jc | dating_advice | How does this sound? | **Me:** 20 years old, student.
**Him:** 23, student, we both who have many common interests and the same sort of philosophy of life. Both of us are really positive and friendly, but I think he is kind of shy some too.
-----------------------------------------------
**Backstory:**
We met on OKC but he said he hadn't been on there in ages & wasn't looking for a relationship... ended up talking on facebook for a few long nights and then he invited me to his band's show. I went for the last few songs and then had to leave. After he texted me that night, I asked him if he wanted to hang out the next day.
He said yeah and we met for dinner and a walk around the park which went really well (we talked so much at dinner both of us hardly ate) until the end I thought. At the end, we hugged, and he was like "I'll probably talk to you...." and it was super awkward for me since I didn't think he enjoyed the night.
--------------------------------------------------
*I message him the night after dinner/park.*
Also, | Me: Heya, I had a geat time with you yesterday. Would you wanna meet up sometime before you leave? (he is going away on a month long trip) |
t3_l41y8 | dating_advice | Calling to plan a second date today...is Monday too far out? | Had an amazing date on wednesday night with a 23F...I'm 22M. Had a nice dinner and went out for drinks afterwards. Everything went very well, walked her to the door and had a nice little make out session before saying goodnight. We didn't speak much yesterday, but I am planning on giving her a call today in order to plan another date. Ideally I'd like to set it for tomorrow or sunday but she works evenings on both days..leaving me with either lunch on those days or waiting til monday or so when we're both free in the evening. What do I do? | Had an amazing first date, want to plan second. She can only do lunch the next two days..or we wait til at least monday to do something in the evening. Advice? |
t3_2uob3k | dogs | I have a mouse... and a terrier. | Story on my dog: almost 3 y/o mostly-Westie mixed breed. Male. Fixed. Very few behavior issues aside from barking at the TV and canine passers-by.
Sunday night, my dog SPRINTS across the living room and kitchen to just below the dishwasher, the same way he chases squirrels or rabbits in the yard. He will not leave this one corner of the dishwasher. I immediately get suspicious, and sure enough, find some mouse droppings. I go to Target for some pet-safe traps.
I get home and he has a new obsession - the floor vent in our bedroom. I have never seen him so intent on a thing for so long -- the only way he has left it alone since becoming fixated is by being physically picked up and taken out of the room. He barks, he wines, he SHAKES. I tried his Thundershirt - no help. I've tried the pet corrector that we use for TV barking - nothing. I stayed with him in a different room and still hardly slept Monday night (he would get up and scratch and whine at the bedroom door). He seemed a bit more calm when I got home from work yesterday, but quickly went back to the vent.
We finally took him to my parent's house for the night so we could sleep. He's been fine over there - they've offered to keep him another night if we need, but it can take weeks to get rid of a mouse problem, depending on how many we might have. I realize this is exactly what he is bred for, but it's driving me nuts. Any advice on calming him down? | We have a mouse (or mice). We have a terrier. He is OBSESSED with where he thinks the mouse is and will not shut up. |
t3_15jp44 | tifu | TIFU by stabbing myself with a knife I got from Christmas. | Well, its been two days since unwrapping my new knife set. Two days. The box remained sealed, as I would be returning home to school without the space or desire to carry these weapons in my suitcase. I should have left them alone, but alas, my inner child screamed for play time.
So I opened the box, admired the stainless steel, the smooth surface, perfect balance and observed the particular sharpness of the blades. Having worked in a restaurant for over a year, and working with large knives on a daily basis, I felt confident in my abilities to keep myself from harm, but boy was I wrong.
As I sat there on the chair, my arm shot forward with the knife, lower than expected and buried itself in my knee. The pain was not too great, as I began laughing hysterically at my stupidity. Blood was everywhere, my pants have to be washed (again, its ironic, they just came out of the laundry too). So now I sit here, with my holey knee, which has now swelled up quite a bit, looks like I have two kneecaps and I cant help but hope that I dont need stitches. Guess ill find out tomorrow. | I was trying to impress the parents, stabbed myself in the knee with a brand new knife they just bought me, and now I may need stitches. |
t3_2ezbtk | relationships | Me [22 M] feel a lot of anger and I think I might be and denial. Ex [22 F] dated for 2 years | Short story we dated 2 years, broke up last summer, she got a new bf, we went NC. This May we bumped into each other, talked, she cheated on her bf and we got together again. She broke 1 month latter and blamed me for cheating on his ex.
I still feel a lot of anger towards her and me. We yelled a lot and fought a lot. But I know that we both loved each other a lot. Or maybe she was just acting.
Im trying hard to connect with new people and I've been going out with some girls I've met but I feel numb and empty | > Cant move on after a 2 year relationship that ended 2 years ago and that got re-ignited 2 months ago to end 1 month latter |
t3_3dd72i | tifu | TIFU by trying to be proactive about my stupid career. | Most of you will see the word 'law student' and close this tab because you think im a pretentious fuck, i dont blame you but just listen cause im angry as shit and im human (mostly).
Because its next to impossible to land a career in law i thought oh yes ill be smart, i'll apply for an internship at a law firm and i'll do it through Global Work and Travel Co. I apply and fork out $2100 for their bullshit assistance that includes finding a firm and assisting with travel visa and finding my flights. Then i get the invoice for flights from Australia to Vancouver at $2800; $3800 including travel insurance. Are you feeling for me yet? no? okay, anyways the flight is a $800 mark up from an ordinary flight 30% net profit margin for the company basically for being a fucking intermediary. I signed the agreement that I would have to purchase flights by them, only just read some reviews that they are a scam in such that they do minimal amount of work for a ridiculous fucking price. So now I am $6000 out of pocket (yet to pay accommodation for 3 months) and the news has warned of sometimes with smaller work arrangements (e.g. working at a ski-resort) the worker rocked up and the place didnt even exist. | today i fucked up by paying $6000 to a company, so that I can work for free for 3 months. Im an idiot. |
t3_4day0g | personalfinance | After 401k match, then Traditional IRA? For Lowering taxable income? What fund choices? | Hello PF! Short background, my wife and I had an AGI in 2014 of 229k, and 195k was taxable. In 2015 we bought a house, and our AGI will be about 254k. In the past we've had to withhold an extra $400 a month to make up the shortfall and avoid owing taxes.
Now, with the house purchase and 15k in interest payments, I'd like to stop withholding the extra $ and increase the 401k contributions. My question: to lower the current tax burden I'm aiming to increase the 401k OR start a traditional IRA. Does this sound like a good move?
My current 401k mix is this:
Asset --> Portfolio Ratio --> Expense Ratio
SPTN 500 INDEX ADV (FUSVX) 55.98% 0.05%
AMERICAN BALANCED R4 (RLBEX) 20.48% 0.63%
FA MID CAP VALUE I (FMPOX) 14.30% 0.87%
OPP DEVELOPING MKT Y (ODVYX) 9.24% 1.05%
A full list of available fund choices are here: | Since buying the house lowers the taxable income, I should be able to stop withholding extra $, so where do I put it? |
t3_33q0la | tifu | TIFU by texting my mother that my father was dead. | Some backstory: I am on a bowling league with my father on Thursday nights. My mother is a complete worry wart and always assumes the worst.
I hear my phone go off and I looked at my phone and I got a text from my mother saying, "Is dad up there by you? He's not answering his phone." I like to screw around with my mother because she's always worrying about me or anyone who doesn't really reply with an answer. She always assumes the worst. I jokingly text her back, "He's dead." I tell my father about the text and he proceeds to call her. He came up to me after the phone call and said, "Mom didn't think it was too funny when you texted her that I was dead. Your uncle died and she was trying to get a hold of me to tell me." | I made a death joke to my mother who was trying to get a hold of my dad to tell him my uncle had died. |
t3_33hv24 | relationships | Me [F/26] trying to be healthier and my husband[28/M]of 3 years is resenting me for it. I need help and advice. Please? | I have to tell my back story so yall get the full picture.
My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for a long time. When my husband proposed to me we decided it was time for me to move. I am from a West Texas town which I have lived all my life, and everyone I have ever come to know and love. I left.
Moving to Wyoming was very difficult for me. I gained a bunch of weight for a bunch of different reasons such as weather, depression, and we also had a baby as well as finding out I have thyroid disease.
During This time my husband had lost a lot of weight and became very fit. Me being my current depressed big fat pregnant self became very jealous and very bitter towards his fitness.
Long story short he quit going to the gym and stop anything healthy he was doing.
Two years later his job and our family is finally closer to home which we are both from and have all our family closer.
I have soon got back in to eating healthy and trying to get my family to eat healthy. We are very busy with kids school and extra curricular activities. I've been helping coach sport teams but I am a stay at home mom so eating healthy is the biggest part for me to lose the most weight.
I go for walks or runs when I can, but its not consistent. Recently we've had a huge hassle between my husband and I about losing weight and eating right because he does not want to do it now, and feels later on I may do what I did two years ago.
The reason I had to tell all this was because I need help as far as what I can do to help him eat better and become more active for all of us. It is becoming very difficult for me to eat all this healthy food and not loose my cool when someone is eating a big fat cheeseburger in front of me.
Any advice is awesome, but please be gentle. | made husband feel bad when he was healthy, and now husband doesn't want to eat healthy while I'm trying too. Need advice on what to do. I want to feel better about myself again. |
t3_17mukr | relationships | After a 9 month relationship, my gf [30] doesn't want me [32] to accompany her to any social gatherings due to me not being comfortable in social situations | I am a 32 year old guy from Europe who has had one serious relationship in the past that lasted 8 years and ended badly after moving to the United States. My girlfriend is 30 years old and is from
India. We met through a common friend and have been in a very happy relationship for the past 9 months. She is moving to the East Coast in July for her medical residency and I decided to move my career in order to be with her. I love her more than anything and I do believe that she feels the same about me. The problem is, I am an
introverted person and have always been awkward in social situations. I don't like being surrounded by strangers and I just can't relax and chit chat with people around me. My girlfriend feels that she can't relax in these situations when I am around because she feels how uncomfortable I am in them and has been suffering a great deal
because of this. She has now decided that I will not accompany her to any social gatherings which she will attend since she wants to enjoy her time with her friends. She purchased 2 tickets for a
Valentine's day party at her workplace but does not want me to go with her under any circumstances. I am really hurt by this turn of
events since I have been trying my best to be ok with all her friends and have done everything that was in my power to be as sociable as
possible. There was no turning point event, she just felt that I wasn't enjoying myself and has decided to keep me out of her social life. I don't know what to do or how to react. I tried reasoning with her and telling her how hurtful this is to me, but to no avail. I would appreciate
any comments. | I am an introvert who is awkward in social situations, dating an extrovert for the past 9 months. She has decided to keep me out of her social life since she feels I am uncomfortable in social gatherings. |
t3_vpfri | AskReddit | How bad is the job market? | So, I've recently been seeing a lot of these "After 400 years of unemployment tomorrow I finally get to start my new job, etc" type posts. This is really beginning to scare me because I'm thinking about quitting my job next spring and taking some time off before I start a new career.
**Background:**
* Firstly, I'm thinking about leaving my job next spring to attempt a thru-hike of the [Appalachian Trail] This means, when I return from the hike six months later I'll be unemployed (after already depleting a good chunk of my savings on my hike).
I'll be starting a job search in a new industry. I've decided I need a switch and I'll be looking a jobs for which I have no direct experience. Ideally in finance/business development.
* Secondly, I know all the numbers and I've read all the news articles, but frankly with my group of friends none us are unemployed or worried about losing our jobs. Maybe I'm living in a bubble, but none of it seemed very real to me. In addition, a few of my friends are very upwardly mobile and their companies seem to have no idea that they're in a recession.
Actually until recently, I was not worried about this because I figured I'd still be very "hire-able". I have a BA from a top tier university with a great GPA and decent work experience (5 years). I also have an MBA from a similarly good program (not top 10, but still very good).
I'm not looking to see if my decision is good or bad, it's something I've wanted to do for a while and I'll be doing it. I just want to know from first hand accounts, how bad the job market actually is.
I also know it differs from demographic to demographic, industry to industry, and region to region, but I'm just curious about the general experience. BUT... I'm 27 and living in the northeast if you're wondering. | I'm thinking about quitting my job next spring, taking about 6 months off, and then looking for a job in a new industry. How bad are things out there? |
t3_rwj6k | running | new shoes, arch pain? | Hey guys, I did a lot of googling and searching on here first, but I'm not sure if what I found answers my specific question/problem. If anyone with more experience has advice, that'd be great!
Been running for about two months, gradually increasing to about 20 miles/week, 2-5 mile runs each day, about 6 days/week. I was running in a friends old running shoes for the first month and a half. They felt OK - I didn't have any injuries or pain except one spot that rubbed on my right arch.
Two weeks ago I bought [these] new running shoes. I wore them just walking and biking around, and for 2 mile runs for the first couple days, and they felt great. Then, taking them out on 3-5 mile runs, big arch troubles. Around mile 3, I gradually start to get painful cramps along both arches, more toward the balls of my feet than the heels. I tried stopping and stretching my calves and rubbing my feet, which would make them feel fine until I started running again, then the pain was back. This happened on 3 runs in a row, where I had to stop and walk home. I bought some Dr Schols arch support inserts, and they didn't help at all. I tried just running through the pain (w/ inserts) yesterday and it was totally awful, even walking hurt for a little while afterwards (though about 30 minutes after, everything feels fine again).
Today I ran in the old running shoes (ASICS, I can't find a link though) and got the same cramps/pains but a quite a bit milder, though I was taking it a bit easy.
Is this just a matter of getting different inserts? New shoes? Shitty form? Or I'm injured and need rest? Thanks for your expertise, r/running. | New runner jogs in friends old running shoes- pain free. Buys new Mizunos and develops very intense arch pain toward the balls of both feet, during runs only. Drugstore arch inserts do no good. |
t3_m52y2 | AskReddit | Landlord wants to evict me because he just separated from his wife and has no more money. Canadian redditors, what can I do to fight this? | I live in Ontario, Canada
So this morning while I was getting ready for work, my landlord comes by and tells me verbally that he will be evicting me soon so that he can move in. He told me that he just separated from his wife and by moving here it would be cheaper for him.
I happen to live in an apartment where there is only 1 unit upstairs, and downstairs is the water/salt business he partly owns and runs (as far as I know of). So I would assume that the building itself would be considered commercial.
I told him that I don't agree with this decision, it's not my problem nor my responsibility. But so far as it stands it was solely verbal.
I've been in this space for almost 3 years now, I do not want to leave. I was here before the landlord even bought the business from the previous owner.
I have 60 days to find a place starting at the end of the month. He told me that he's already seen a place somewhere else and would be willing to help me move out. I declined. I'm not moving. Especially for such a bullshit reason. Take responsibility, man up to your actions and leave me the fuck out of this.
So redditors, what can I do to fight this? Looking for some pseudo-legal advice before I contact a local lawyer.
Thanks in advance | Getting evicted, landlord wants to move in cause he just separated from his wife and would be cheaper for him, co owns the business downstairs, verbal notice only so far. I'm not moving, I've made that clear. |
t3_30ja1y | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex [20F] of a year: Broke up with me a week ago, to be friends or not to be? | We broke up a week ago, really out of the blue. I took it really badly. The last few days I've realized that it wasn't perfect (again we never fought nor did she ever bring up these issues, so I really dont know if it wouldn't have worked) I'm a lot better now, and I'm trying to remain friends with her. We're in college together with alot of mutual friends. We've been talking the last few days and it's fine, I didn't want to lose my best friend (her) nor all our mutual friends. But after reading all the NoContact stuff I don't know what is healthier, to remain friends keep my best friend (you know the person that you what to talk to stuff about) or to do No Contact, have that hole but maybe come out the other side stronger?
Also important to note that her reason was that she's no longer "attracted to me" and that we didnt have a deep enough relationship. Over the summer we're both doing internships a couple of blocks away from each other, so we'll probably see each other there alot too. (I agree that our relationship maybe lacked some depth, but I think we could be good together however we'd have to rebuild from the beginning to find that depth which is another reason that maybe its best to talk to her?) | Do i let go of my best friend (my ex) and have a hole or continue talking to her but possibly not let myself heal / jeopardize the small chance we do have to getting back together. |
t3_sgg9e | AskReddit | Reddit please help, what would you do about an alcoholic roommate? | I'm a 20 year old female living with my best friend (no one ever move in with their best friend just an FYI) and she is almost 24 and also a female. We've been living together since January and ever since then it's been downhill. More so, I've noticed her drinking going uphill.
She is supposed to be taking Anabuse which is a drug that her parents buy for her that is $200 a bottle that will make you insanely sick if you have any dose of alcohol, even mouthwash. But the whole time she has not taken one pill and usually hides it with gum.
She will drink every night of the week because she "needs to" except for (maybe) Sunday and Monday nights. When she drinks it isn't to just have a good time, it is to get wasted beyond belief. She usually cries about her ex boyfriend of 8 years or gets mad at me for no reason.
I don't want to move back home because I enjoy living on my own so I have been looking for apartments near my town. The thing is though she would never be my friend again if I moved out, aka she isn't a true friend.
All of this drinking and going out is also affecting her Nursing School which she is now failing 2 classes. She texted me about it today and told her she needs to keep the drinking to a minimum and just on the weekends and to find a better way to manage school and studying.
She continued to tell me I am making her feel worse, I am not capable of being a friend, etc. After that she texted me saying "Just wait till you get home, I can't believe you!" which was technically a threat but she said she is going to tell me what she thinks of me etc.
I've done nothing but good things for this girl and been there for her through a lot. I'm at ends with this and it's really starting to get with me and honestly I don't need it in my life. I act 100x more mature than she does. I have a government job, a brand new car and a head on my shoulders. What do I do? | Roommate is supposed to be on alcohol prevention medicine but doesn't take it. She is failing nursing school and honestly just going crazy and taking out everything on me. Will not stop drinking 5-7 nights a week. |
t3_2xvep7 | relationships | I [18M] have been keeping my porn habits secret from my partner [18F] for 5 months, and lied directly to her about it. | At the start of our relationship (7 1/2 months ago) I stopped watching porn due to issues with "getting it up", but once my body was co-operating a little more (around 5 months ago) I fell back into old habits.
This wasn't because I found her unattractive (she thinks if I watch porn it will be because I find her boring), or because I didn't love her, but because I have developed addiction problems towards pornography, and also because I take an interest in it as a film and, in terms of drawn porn, an artistic outlet.
Though I know she will not understand this, we have discussed the issues around porn and she doesn't understand my view points, however I have still continued to keep the fact that I got back to it from her. I don't want to lie, but I am seriously worried that after lying for so long that if I told her she would hate me or leave me.
I hate myself for doing this to her, as my awful habits also make me question how attached to her I am and/or if our relationship will last. I simply don't know what to do, as we are just slowly drifting apart in some aspects I feel. | I've been lying about my porn use to my girlfriend and I feel like I am living a lie and tearing us apart, but I don't know what to do. |
t3_kdu8a | AskReddit | Advice on U.S. customs/immigration for a Caucasian/American girl who went to Pakistan | Some background info:
At the end of 2008, I spent about 3 ½ weeks in Pakistan. I realize this isn't a typical travel destination for a young non-Pakistani American, but I was invited by Pakistani friends. It's an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.
I wasn't questioned much when I came back into the U.S. from Pakistan. The customs officer just asked me why I went and then said "okay, welcome back."
However, when I came back from Dubai in 2010, the U.S. official in Amsterdam (where my layover was) saw the Pakistan visa in my passport and became suspicious. After asking me several questions and going through my bags, I was finally allowed to join my fellow passengers at the gate. When I arrived in the U.S., I was pulled aside again for questioning as the other passengers went seamlessly through customs. I spoke with two officers and they both asked me the exact same questions several times. The questions were about my trip to Pakistan. They wanted to know who I met there, who I talked to and whether or not any of them touched my bags while I was in Dubai (a Pakistani friend was with me in Dubai). It wasn't a full-on interrogation, but my Pakistan trip definitely raised some sort of red flag.
I haven't flown or left the country since returning from Dubai, and I'm planning to go to either Egypt or Turkey in a few months to spend time with my fiancé (who is Egyptian). I also work for an international company and will be traveling to the Middle East, Asia and Europe for trade shows and such. I'm a little worried that this Egypt trip will raise even more red flags and get me into a situation that I don't want to be in.
While these situations are different than mine, reading stuff like this freaks me out:
Can anyone offer advice? | —I'm a non-Pakistani American who went to Pakistan and now I'm worried I will be flagged as a threat when I travel. |
t3_1jfamb | relationships | Me[21M] inexperienced in the dating game, looking for pointers | I am a male 21 year old engineering student. I am always really busy because I overload my schedule with courses, volunteering, working, etc. In the past two years I have not been in one place for more than 5 months because of internships and study abroad.
Don't get me wrong I am not complaining, I have gotten to do some really cool things but as I begin to stay in one area from now on to finish out my studies I want to get my game back.
Background:
- athletic and in good shape but I have a baby face
- I had a lot of confidence in high school, somewhere I lost it
- I feel like I have always been more mature than people my age this makes it harder to connect with people
- I have always been a bit shy
- I really don't think I am overly geeky. I'm an engineer, sure I know math and all that jazz but I'm also into cars, outdoors, etc.
- I try to put myself in places where people with the same interests as me are but I haven't had total success on connecting fully with someone yet.
I have had plenty of platonic relationships that I was always too shy to go anywhere with. Now I feel like I've hit the point where girls out there will be way more experienced in everything and that I won't measure up or they will be too impatient to put up with me. Talk about needing some self confidence, yeah I know. I haven't had a girlfriend and the only kissing I've done has been in drunk situations.
When it comes to athletics, school, jobs, style, etc. I am very confident because I am extremely goal oriented (the mature side of me) and have been pretty successful up to this point. When it comes to girls I need work/help. I have no problem talking to girls but I usually find myself interested in shy girls which doesn't make things any easier.
Thanks in advance | [21M] inexperienced in dating, needs tips to build confidence with girls now that I am ready to get back into dating after previous lifestyle wasn't really ideal for it. |
t3_2dvryx | relationships | Me [26F] with my bf [27M] 1year, can't stop thinking about ex, do you ever get over your first love?? | Hi everyone
I have been seeing my BF now for over a year and let me start by saying he is the kindest and most caring person I have ever met and he is unbelievably good to me. I am really happy with him and I can really see us going the distance.
My problem is that every now and then, I think of my first love. I was with him for five years from 17-22. I loved absolutely everything about him and we were crazy about each other. We split up because towards the last six months we were arguing a lot and we felt like we had missed out on the casual dating we should have been doing at that age (not that we were missing much!) We split up amicably and remained friends for over a year, although I always assumed at some stage we would end up together again. Eventually he started seeing someone else, I backed away to avoid causing problems for him and we drifted apart. I met him on a night out once, stupidly I was drunk and admitted I still had feelings for him but he was leaving the country to travel alone the next day so nothing ever came of it. He remained with that GF for a long time after but last week I heard through the grape vine they've split up.
Before I heard that I was so happy with my current BF. Now I can't help compare them in every way which is so unfair to him, I know. I can't stop thinking that maybe I'm meant to be with my first love, even though I dearly love my BF and wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I could just forget the ex but I can't.
My question is, do you ever really get over your first love? How do you stop feeling like you are comparing every relationship with your first? I'm just so confused, I don't want to mess up my current relationship by constantly dwelling on ghosts from the past. | Do you ever truly get over your first love?? I feel like thoughts of my first love are slowly poisoning my current relationship. |
t3_1kz27y | relationships | I [21F] am trying to become more interesting to my girlfriend [22F] of about 2 years. | I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years now, we've been ridiculously happy except for the last couple weeks.
I'm an introvert with extreme social anxiety. She is an extrovert. For reasons unknown, we've managed to make that work for as long as we have, but recently we've hit some pretty serious bumps. She first made a post to this subreddit and later told me about it where she says that she's become bored with our relationship mostly because I am too anxious to do many things. We agreed that I would work on it.
We're doing a lot better now since we've been talking a lot more and doing more things together outside the apartment, but I still am very paranoid that she's not quite as happy as she seems. She said that she wants to be challenged in her relationship, and I wasn't doing that. So how do I do that? She wants to go on adventures and have discussions and I am more than willing to do that, I just literally have no idea where to start. | I need to challenge my girlfriend and not be a pushover who doesn't do anything unless she wants to. Help? |
t3_3lqz3d | relationships | How do you know when it is truly time to end the relationship? I (22F) can't help but feel if I break up with my boyfriend (25M) i'll be taking a HUGE risk!! | My boyfriend is great, he truly his. We've been together 6 months and for a long time within that 6 months we talking about marriage and being together forever. But now I feel it's time to move on.
Lately I feel I have been disconnected from my friends, I have felt more and more like I want to be single again and I get increasingly frustrated with little things that he does. I want to end things, but I'm scared about a new beginning.
I'm worried that maybe this insecurity is a sign I shouldn't break up with him?
I'm worried i'm going to break up with him and immediately regret it. I'm worried that i'm going to be taking a huge gamble on this, and it might not pay off.... Are these normal feelings? And how do you overcome them so you know you're making the right choice? | I feel it may be time to break up with my boyfriend, but I feel it would be a huge risk that may not pay off. Help |
t3_288x3c | tifu | TIFU by being thirsty. | Throwaway time because a few friends know my reddit account.
I am a 17 year old dude, currently living with my mother and step father. I came in from playing basketball in the hot weather outside (it was about 90 degrees fareinheigt, played for an hour) and was really thirsty. I am very eager to replenish my system with fluids. I start loading ice into my cup, and I pull my cup away to early, and some ice falls on the floor. Me, being the lazy fucker I am, I pushed it under the fridge, got my water and went on with my life. About 20 minutes later I went to go work out, and I come home about 2 hours after that. I look to my right when I come in from my garage and I see my stepdad on the ground in front of the fridge, knocked out, bleeding from his head. And his clothes were wet. I *flip* out and I mean flip to max, that I scream and go black for a few seconds (at least I think). He is in critical condition and is on ICU. I am currently in the lobby of the hospital, and I don't know what to do. Do I confess it was my fault? What do I do if I get a chance to see him??? Fuck. | I kicked some ice under the fridge because I am a lazy fuck, and my stepdad tripped on it and cracked his head. He is in intensive care. |
t3_e6n9q | AskReddit | Reddit, this clueless teenager needs your help. | I'm 16. Growing up, throughout school I've been telling myself I wouldn't actively want a girlfriend at the very least until I hit college. This was mostly because, even now (junior year), most of the girls at my school are self-centered and just not able to have an intelligent conversation. I also feel like getting involved with a girl right now would be seriously detrimental to my academic performance, I'm taking 4 APs and something like that may throw me off.
Along comes this girl who's in two of my classes this year. She has the most amazing eyes, an awesome personality, and is a smart and hilarious person, and I've been feeling something in myself, something really different; like, nothing sexual, but the feeling that I want to travel the world with this girl.
I seriously have no idea what to do. She and I are great friends, and I get along with everyone really well, so people know me as a friend to everyone but not seriously looking for girls.
I don't know how exactly to state my dilemma. I just feel like I want to be with her and do everything with her. At the same time, I don't know how to approach the situation. I don't want to do something, screw up, and have awkwardness between us forever. I've never, in the slightest, tried to pick up girls. I'd kind of been planning to just come to a gradual stop during a conversation and say something like, "You know, I could stare into your eyes all day..." and move from there. But if it seems weird or if I'm rejected, that awkwardness will stay there.
I would seriously appreciate any and all advice from you all. I have no sense of direction about this at the moment, and don't know what to do. I'm pretty confident she'd say yes if I asked, but my personal thoughts about not seeking girls is preventing me from doing this. I also have no clue what I'd do if she agreed; I don't know how to plan dates or anything, although she seems like she'd be willing to join in my cluelessness and experiment together :P | After not wanting any girls in my entire life, I suddenly like someone and don't know what to do. Help! |
t3_hfe0l | self | Should I leave my job, or just take the loss and get over it? | I'm an attorney, and I've been at the same firm for my entire career (although that's only a few years). We recently agreed to change my pay structure from the greater of $X salary or Y% of the firm's profits to a flat 50% of what I bring in to the firm. This was fine with everyone, and I can probably maintain or even increase my income with this setup.
However, the some of the senior partners and I disagree as to what should happen with the money I've brought in that we're holding in escrow (and some partners are on my side). In case you don't know how escrow works, this money is in escrow because it represents retainer fees that have been paid to me, but that haven't been earned. Technically, that means the money still belongs to the client.
Since the money hasn't been earned yet, some partners and I agree that I should keep my half of it when it's earned. Others think the firm should keep 100% because the money was in our hands prior to the change in my pay.
My share of this money alone would represent about 20% of my previous salary. Should I just tell them that if they don't agree to let me have the money (when it's earned, of course) that I'll just go somewhere else?
Difficulty: My father is kind of the Number 2 senior partner in the firm. He's one of the ones on my side, but I still stand a fair chance of losing if this comes to a vote. We get along great, and I enjoy practicing with him.
More difficulty: I'm in kind of a small town and low-population area, so it could be hard to find another nearby job as an attorney if I quit. | Some of my law firm's partners are trying to screw me out of a lot of money. Not easy to quit due to lack of jobs and because my father is a partner. |
t3_v5oim | relationships | Girlfriend wants to be designated driver from drunk friends. | Shes 18, and I'm 18. We've been dating for a year, and she used to be into the party scene. Ever since we started dating, she hasn't brought anything like this up before, and I find out that last night, she went out with her friends. They were completely wasted, and she said she only went to be the designated driver.
She says shes going to do it again this coming Tuesday, and i'm afraid that shes going to 1) get in shit load of trouble since all the people are underage drinking and 2) Something might happen to her
Am I worrying to much? | Girlfriend is designated driver for underage drinkers. Worries me that she will get in trouble, and she won't listen. |
t3_lq9dv | AskReddit | Mouth infection help? | So, on Saturday I developed a fever throughout most of the day while I was working, and into the night. On Sunday I woke up and ate and noticed my tongue was super-sensitive to anything remotely spicy. It progressed throughout the day the the point where I was having trouble eating much of anything. Fast forward to Wednesday, and I have a very sore mouth full of canker sores. They are all over my tongue mostly. Also on my gums, which are inflamed and bleed when I brush, and on the side of my mouth. I saw two doctors over it, the first thought it was a yeast infection and gave my Nystatin, which did nothing after a couple of days. I saw my family doctor next and he says it's called Stomatitis, and can be caused by a variety of things, in my case most likely a virus. He prescribed me lidocaine to help numb myself when I want to eat and an antibiotic to prevent further infection. Now I'm just wondering, does anyone have any experience with this condition? How long did it last for you? Is there anything that helped you get through the discomfort? I've been eating a lot of pudding and jello to get by, and warm tea feels good. I can't really talk very much. | I swallowed a gerbil during a bizarre sexual encounter, and he keeps coming up and attacking my mouth, causing an infection. |
t3_2kren8 | relationships | My S.O. of over 2 years (20/M) and myself (20/F) are expecting a baby in January. He refuses to leave pot out of our child's life. Please help. | I guess I need to start off by saying that I live in Wisconsin where weed is very much illegal. My boyfriend and I have a baby girl due in January and for his job security he has given up smoking and has been clean since around March of this year.
Here is the issue: My boyfriend seems to resent me because I don't want to risk it by having weed back in our lives. I understand it is difficult to give up something that you enjoy. I have made many sacrifices being pregnant. He constantly brings up how much he misses it and wishes he could smoke again.
Meanwhile, he is trying to find a better job and pretty much any good place around here will drug test. Also, where we live has a strict "no drugs" policy. So, if he were to get caught, he would lose his job, we would be evicted and he would have the charges on his record.
As a first time mother I definitely feel that the negatives outweigh the positives in this situation. He doesn't seem to understand and he says that I am "not letting him be himself". If weed were legal, I wouldn't be as uptight about it. But the reality of the situation is that weed is NOT legal in our state and too much is on the line. Every time we try to talk about it, he just gets mad at me and shuts down... I don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any constructive advice for me? | My boyfriend resents me for not wanting weed in our lives with a new baby in the picture. Too much is on the line with it not being legalized in our state. |
t3_202rmg | loseit | How much of a deficit is too much? | about me: 24/f SW: 206 GW: 150. MFP set to lose 2lbs/week with 1690c/day.
I work in a kitchen 40 hours a week with an endless amount of food surrounding me, so instead of choosing the snack/junk food options like I had been, I now eat a mesquite chicken breast, 1/2 cup of nonfat cottage cheese and whatever vegetables available for lunch each day. I have a hard boiled egg and graham crackers with peanut butter or a shake for breakfast and then I cook/go out to eat with my SO for dinner each night and I track everything - even the required taste tests for my job. I also work out 3-5 days a week, 30 minutes to an hour of cardio and about 20-30 minutes of strength. | I do not deny myself anything other than large portions, and I know I'm not starving myself, but is a 400 calorie deficit per day too much or should I try to get closer to MFP recommended calories? |
t3_qu63v | AskReddit | How can I avoid threesome awkwardness? | Met a girl this year, became best friends. Both attracted to each other, spend all our time together, made out in a bar once. This weekend, somewhat drunk after a party, had full-on threesome with my boyfriend (yes, it was extremely hot). None of us are excessively experienced sexually, haven't done anything remotely like this before, but we're open people who like sex. The next night, we made out again at her place, but her dog got upset and we had to get up early, so it ended. Now things are just slightly weird between us. I love this woman and can't let this damage our friendship. All three of us enjoyed this and I'm pretty sure that we'd like it to happen again but not if it's going to mess up our awesome relationships. How can we avoid general awkwardness? Can't tell anyone in real life about it, so looking for in advice in a questionable place...hopefully some of you have experience in successful semi-open relationships. | I'm one of the F's in a MFF. How can I help this happen again and keep my friendship healthy? |
t3_1z6td2 | personalfinance | Barclays won't increase my student additions overdraft because I had payday loans recently. (UK) | Last month I was experiencing hardship issues and Barclays would not increase my overdraft, so I was forced to take out payday loans, one of which is fully paid off now. A few days ago I applied for a resonable increase of £500 to make it a full £1000. I had £600 credit and thy have evidence of incoming student loans and grants, yet because I borrowed from a different company, they stated "it wouldn't be proper for us to increase your overdraft". I have no charges, other than the APR with Smart-pig, which is due in April, when my student loan and grants arrive and have paid off Wonga, to the full extent, early. My credit score should be higher than usual. What's going on? Is it really "improper", or are they just being dicks? | barclays won't increase overdraft because of hardship issues associated with having to go with a payday loan company because Barclays wouldn't increase my overdraft sooner. What's going on? |
t3_2rhqmw | relationship_advice | I 25f found responses to Craigslist ads in his 23m email asking for a hookup with a random woman dont know how to react. | His phone went off while he was sleeping and since I let him look through mine I figured it wasn't an issue if I checked his.
He got an email, a response to a wfm post on Craigslist asking if this woman was "down" for a hookup where she responded that she "got what she wanted yesterday and didn't want to seem slutty". I confronted him about the message and he responded saying he didn't even use Craigslist like that and his email must've gotten hacked... I'm not stupid I know this is a lie but then he proceeded to say why would he do that if he's going to adopt my daughter and claim her as his own..
I honestly have no idea how to deal with this. | found response to Craigslist posting wfm on my s/o phone he obviously lied about it. Don't know how to react |
t3_2nz3r1 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my SO [25 M] of 3.5 years, question about rebuilding trust in our relationship. | My SO and I have been together for 3.5 years, and have been having problems for at least the past year and a half. I won't get too into the details, but one of our biggest issues right now is trust. He is having a hard time trusting me because of something I did. We were having a fight one weekend and decided to spend some time apart. I went to a birthday party for one of my classmates, whom my SO has never met, and ended up drinking too much and spending the night, despite my SOs attempts to pick me up and take me home. I slept on the couch, and there were other people there as well, and nothing happened. He is hurt/upset because it was a guys house and he has never met this person.
After the incident, he asked me not to speak with any of my male classmates outside of class anymore. I said I wouldn't, but then I texted one of them, and lied about it because I didn't want him to get mad at me. I was wrong to lie, and I know that. But it was all innocent, and I have done nothing unfaithful.
My question is, does anyone have any advice or exercises that will help us rebuild the trust in our relationship? We are also both seeing a therapist, but wanted to explore all of our avenues. Thanks in advance! | SO is upset because I spent the night at a guys house after a party (slept on couch, nothing happened), and lied about texting friends from class. Advice on rebuilding trust needed. |
t3_1bo64u | BreakUps | [22m]Break it down for me: the classic, out of the blue, "hey this your ex, wondering how you're doing" email. | More than three years ago I was in a pretty deep relationship with this one girl--well, the relationship's as good as it gets when you're 18, 19, you get my drift. We separated because it became a long distance relationship and she cheated on me, but again that was years ago and it's all pretty much water under the bridge. That much I am sure of.
After nearly a year of no contact whatsoever (and only one meeting in the other intervening years) she's sent a textbook "hey this is your ex, how are you" email, just writing in to catch up etc. You guys all know what I'm talking about, I hope.
I am sure that I've got no emotional baggage left, other than the same nostalgia that prompted her into sending the email in the first place. I am ALSO sure that if nothing else, the conversations were interesting and the sex was absolutely jungle, so I'd happily keep her as a casual friend if only to have some coffee with when I'm in town.
As for the questions:
1) It's a game. It's obviously a game, it is always a game, and it will always be a game. But what are we playing for here, exactly? What's she looking for in restarting contact after years of excommunication?
2) If it's a game, how do I win? | afters years of nothing ex sends me a bog-standard get-in-touch email. I'm wondering how to proceed. |
t3_27ld2k | relationships | I [28 F] have an amazing boyfriend [29 M], but I'm starting to catch feelings for my best guy friend [29 M]. | Let me start off by saying that I love my boyfriend of 3 years. He is funny, smart, and caring. We have a lot of interests in common, and physically, he is exactly my type. Currently we are doing long distance and I don't get to talk to him very much, but I will see him in a few months. I love him and can't imagine spending my life without him.
Here's the problem. Lately I've been spending a lot of time with my best guy friend, and I find myself more and more attracted to him. The other day, we worked out together and while this isn't an unusual thing for us, I found myself fantasizing about him. My friend is a good looking guy but I've never been attracted to him until now. When I'm around him now, I think to myself, "his arms look nice" or "he looks good in glasses." And I feel terribly guilty about it. Last night, I even had a dream that my friend and I started to fuck but instead I cried and told him, "I can't, I still love my boyfriend."
A lot of people are going to tell me to limit contact with my friend, but we work together so it's really hard to do. I also don't have a lot of friends here, and I enjoy hanging out with him. We never cross the line -- we aren't touchy feely, and we don't flirt. I'm sure he doesn't reciprocate these feelings, so this is all in my head.
I just want to know how I can get over this crush (?) and block out these intrusive thoughts. I don't want to date this guy -- I know we are only compatible as friends. I really miss my boyfriend and I guess I just miss physical attention, but I don't know why this is starting to bother me now. My boyfriend and I have done long distance before and I'd never had feelings for another guy.
HELP! | I love my boyfriend but I'm starting to fantasize about my friend. I feel lonely and guilty, and I want these thoughts to stop. |
t3_2lg2zp | relationships | Me [24 M] with a crush on [22 F] Casual meetings at a bar, Confused on what to do. | So... there is this girl who I have been kind of crushing on for a while now and the only time we ever see one another is at the bar where everyone hangs out. Well last night after having some drinks and chatting for a bit near the end of the night I hug her because im leaving and she gives me a peck on the cheek and says im sweet.
Well she is kind of friendly to everyone hugging and what not so I give her a hug back giver her a peck back and tell her to have a good night and I wanted to tell her something later. (I want to ask her out) but... she seems interested in other people or seems like it but again she is friendly to a lot of people. I just can't get a read if I should just ask her out.
With the line regarding I wanted to tell her something later I wanted a clear answer rather than one where she had been drinking the whole night and me kind of chickening out on the question all together.
I just don't know how to go about it now. I don't want to ask her out on Facebook. So it will be like another time at the bar and she will have probably forgotten that conversation anyway | Really wanted to ask a girl out because I am crushing on her but instead we give eachother a kiss on the cheek and I don't know what this means. |
t3_3n2jp3 | relationships | I(35m) get so mad at my wife(35f) over stupid things. | I've gotten really good at ruining get togethers and events, at least between us. Some stupid thing I say will ruin the night at a ballgame, concert, etc. Just the other day, we went to a concert and had a great time despite me saying things that upset her. Looking back now, I wish I could have not said anything at all. I know that is really vague but it would be too much to go into detail.
This kind of thing happens often enough to make me wonder is something wrong with me? Why is it I get so mad at her and then just say what I know will piss her off? I love the woman, she is my wife and we want to have kids, it just hasn't happened yet. I hate that I feel any hate toward her but it's the little things that make me mad, like how she sarcastically reminds me of something she told me that I forgot, or how she never seems to take the blame for anything.
We recently ended an ongoing argument about one of my friends who would say things about her that she would say I don't defend her against, but that I know he doesn't actually feel that way. I would get crap from her for hanging out with him or wanting to stay friends and it nearly came to us breaking up (on her part) but now I am not friends with him and that has fixed things between her and I. Of course, he was one of a few friends I would hang out with without her so now, I have fewer options but at least she's not pissed off right?
I've wondered if the problems were hers to work through but now I'm wondering if it's me and I need to suck it up and deal with things. We've talked about counseling but I've been slow to start anything. Now, I kind of think I should go on my own for a while, and see what I can work on. What do you think, Redditors? | The wife and I have problems, not sure if it's her or me, but I tend to ruin activities because I'm mad at her. |
t3_3ppskj | relationships | I [18 F] am afraid my boyfriend [18 M] isn't interested in having sex with me anymore, or am I just overthinking everything? | Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We went to the same high school and we are both freshmen at the same college. Lately, I have been more interested in sex, than he is. If we do have sex, I initiate it. We used to have sex around 2 or 3 times a week, now it's once on the weekends. I talked to him about it, he said it was because he is very busy with schoolwork. I let it go for a while because he does have a lot on his plate right now, until a couple times when we were alone, he still was uninterested.
I always mention it, but nothing changes. I can't talk to anyone else about this, I'm not close enough to talk to anyone about this kind of thing. I'm afraid it is me, because of how sexually active we used to be. Am I just overthinking everything or could there be something else to this situation? | I'm afraid my boyfriend isn't sexually attracted to me anymore, but he's says it's because he's busy. |
t3_1v8ze2 | relationships | He [25 m] started smoking and I hate it [22f] | I definitely believe that what he does with his body is his choice. In fact, we both have vices and while I care about his health k, I'm not about to cast any stones.
I hate the smell. It reminds me of shitty things and it's stale. It permeates his clothes, his hair, his mouth. He doesn't smoke in the house and I can never smell it outside the door. But you can't stop it from getting all over.
I feel badly that it's had such an effect on me. I wish I didn't care. Most of the time he tries not to smoke around me. It's not like he's chain smoking either. But sometimes he has one before getting in the car when I pick him up and I feel closed in and like my throat closes up and I can't breathe. The smell just drives me crazy.
I smoked for a few weeks in high school. I still try to smoke when I'm drunk (which happened twice in the last year) and I do smoke pot regularly now. I don't know why I'm so repulsed by cigarette smoke smells. I feel bad because I know he's been dealing with a lot of stress and this is how he deals.
He knows I don't like it. Hasn't said he'd stop. Every adult in his family (immediate and most extended) smokes. I don't mind seeing them and I can handle the super smoky rooms. But I get so turned off by the taste of his mouth now and when he smells like cig smoke I can't stand to be around him. | he started smoking (due to stress, according to him), it bothers me and he knows it. I feel bad about it, know it's his body and ultimately his choice. Should I even say anything more? |
t3_5473nb | relationships | [16M] Earlier today my dad [46M] told me he doesn't love my stepmum [41F] anymore. I don't know how to feel. | I'm a 16 year old guy who lives with my dad, stepmum and 6-month old baby sister. They've been married for almost 3 years, anniversary at the end of this month.
This afternoon, my dad came into my bedroom crying. He sat down, hugged me and said "I'm sorry, son. I don't love [stepmum, his wife] anymore"
I was speechless. I'm not one for showing emotion in front of other people, so I just stayed quiet and looked at him. I think eventually I just said "oh".
He said he'd told her, and his parents. I had to ask "what about [sister]? What's going to happen?" to which he responded "We're not moving out, don't worry. I don't know about them, though"
He was in bits throughout all of this. I asked "but you love [sister], you need to be there for her". What he said made me shocked.
"I don't know, son. This all started when she was born. I don't know if I love her. I don't feel the same about her as I do you. I'm sorry."
I had no words to say to that. We just sat in silence together for a good minute or two, and he left. We had tea (dinner) quietly, and they'd both been visibly crying. I've done some in private since.
I have no idea what to do. Should I do anything? I'm an awkward person as it is and I feel like I'd be intervening on something that is none of my business (is it?), but at the same time.. they're my family. I love them and want them to be happy. This isn't happy.
Is it selfish of me to want this to change? Maybe it's just the emotions and suddenness of it all. Should I just see how things go? It's their relationship, not mine. But again, they're family.
(sorry I'm very self-contradictory). | My dad doesn't love my stepmum anymore, is scared he might not love his baby daughter. Is there anything I can do to help them? |
t3_4pl3fh | relationships | I (M/26) have been with my GF (29) for a year next month and neither have said I love you to each other. | Is that a cause for concern? We only see each other on weekends due to distance and work. We don't have too much in common, but we get along well and work through issues good enough. Sex is good, we finally both reach climax thanks to a recent vibrator purchase. My one problem is that I don't feel she is passionate about anything including our relationship and that bothers me.
Am I being too picky? Should I settle? I've tried to break up with her once telling her that she is a little too cold and that she doesn't show her emotions too well, but I came back because I felt a bit of guilt since she's done nothing but be nice to me and I ended things rather rash and felt that she didn't deserve that.
She doesn't have too much interests or passions, but she is slowly becoming interested in the stupid things I like (Game of Thrones, Hearthstone) and I am appreciating her effort, but there's this nagging feeling that it isn't enough. Am I taking her for granted? I hate this feeling that there's someone better out there, and it's one of the main reasons I haven't told her that I love her yet. I don't know what her reason for not telling me. Maybe she's waiting on me to say it first? I don't know what I want anymore. | GF is good to me, but I don't feel passion in relationship. Hesitant to fully commit. Am I being reasonable? |
t3_13x033 | AskReddit | We've all had our shitty relationships. Sometimes, no matter how shitty they were, we are still able to learn a few things. What are some things you've taken away from your shitty relationships, Reddit? | I'll start.
I dated a crazy person (if any of my friends see this, they can attest to it). She fabricated an elaborate story and feigned injury just "to keep me around." My personal life, grades, and self-confidence suffered while in this relationship, but I was still able to take away a few learning points despite all the shitty times.
I learned how to listen. If your SO is saying they're unhappy with X, then acknowledge it. Don't come back with a handful of reasons why they shouldn't be upset, just accept the fact that they're upset and work towards a solution *with them*.
Don't make excuses. If you didn't do something, own up to it. Similarly, if you *did* do something wrong, own up to it. Be honest with your partner. If you're even remotely serious with them, then your relationship deserves mutual honesty and openness.
The last point is the most important: be happy. If you're not happy, something has to change. You *need* to be happy in your relationship, otherwise you're just wasting your time. I wasn't happy with my relationship, and that carried over to my personal life with friends and family. I was miserable, and I had to get out. You gotta look out for yourself. | Listen to your partner; don't make excuses, just own up to your mistakes; and make sure you're happy. |
t3_27mwud | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of three years, and he doesn't respect me. What do I do? | My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years now. We are have lots in common and get a long so well when we are both happy. As soon as we get into an argument though, things change.
He disrespects me, belittles me, and points out every little flaw I have. Yes, I have said some not-so-nice things to him as well, but at least I make an effort to apologize and move past things. That's the problem though. I know I am a total push over and have no spine.
Today for instance, we got into an argument, I tried not to engage him and just said I was sorry blah blah blah (I don't even know what I was sorry about to be honest). He takes it further and says some things that are not relevant to the conversation. I had so much anger built up I just said "get out." Which is probably the worst thing I could have said. Of course I immediately start to apologize and say I didn't mean it. (What is wrong with me?)
Anyway, sometimes I don't want to lose him, but sometimes I just want to kick him out the door. How do I grow a spine and tell him I want to be respected without him getting mad and just leaving? To be honest though, if he does want to leave, I'll probably just let him. But I want things to work, I do love him very much. | When my boyfriend and I get into arguments, I feel like he disrespects me and belittles me. I constantly apologize for things I probably shouldn't be apologizing for. How do I gain respect without him getting angry and leaving? |
t3_h1iwu | relationship_advice | Should I stay or should I go? | Me 21F, person i'm dating 21M. He's actually about 2 weeks younger then me, we're that close together age wise.
Little background on me: I've been sexually abused in the past by 3 different guys. Took me a bit to grow a spine. So i'm kinda weird about sexual type things and try to stay away from guys who have a lot of sexual experienced for many reasons relating to the above.
The problem: I've been dating this guy for a couple days, known each other for a couple weeks now. He's really sweet and i'm fairly smitten. BUT Last night he got a bit messed up and just kept telling me shit I didn't want to know, even his friend was trying to shut him up.
Aparently he's gotten one of his girlfriends preggy in the past, but she miscarried. He can not go 3 weeks with out having sex. Helped, I believe, 4 women cheat on their boyfriends. Has this fat/ugly friend that he goes to when he can't find someone else to screw even though he goes on and on about how fat/ugly she is. Also I asked him what number I was after a bit of this weird spilling of his past, and he says he think's i'm number 11. I've asked him when he was sober before we had sex and he then said he thought it was 10. Keeping his story straight but still, he's not for sure how many girls he's been with. | My new boyfriend seems amazing but the more I learn about him through his half-drunk ramblings the more I feel i'm committed to a total player. |
t3_30geq2 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21 M] 3 years - he's into piercings, tattoos and hair dye lately and I'm afraid he won't be able to land a teaching job in the near future. Should I worry? | This is probably stupid but my boyfriend has been getting creative with self-expression lately. He wants a nose piercing, has dyed his hair, and wants a visible tattoo soon. It's a pretty dramatic change from how he has always styled himself so I'm a little surprised. But in any case, he wants to be a music teacher and I'm afraid this will directly affect his prospects. He says he doesn't care because he just wants to be himself but I don't think he understands that it doesn't matter what you want - if you want to get a job, sometimes you have to sacrifice self-expression. He got upset with me for not dyeing my own hair because I'm looking for a job and don't want to risk it. It just isn't worth it to me when I could be doing what I love as a career instead of dyeing my hair.
It just worries me that he isn't thinking ahead and doesn't care about professionalism. Is this something I should worry about or should I just drop it? I feel it directly affects me somewhat since we are planning on moving in together in the near future and will share some financial burdens as a result. | My boyfriend's lack of professionalism in self-expression makes me worry that he won't be able to get a job when we are living together. Am I worrying too much? |
t3_dmk1x | AskReddit | Is my website being taken advantage of? Help me reddit! | Hi reddit...I think I might be at risk of being taken advantage of by a pretty major company, and I wanted your advice on the situation.
Basically, I run a gaming website. We have a very active, albeit small (30-50 active posters), community. The site traffic isn't the best in the world, but it honestly doesn't bother me. I have never run the site for profit or anything...what minimal ads we have are there at the request of our host who gets the minimal income from them and graciously gives us free webspace. I've run the website for over 6 years now and it's been getting a bit more popular. I was recently contacted by a marketing firm who represent a big retailer. This retailer wants to run a contest on my website in which the four winners get free copies of a specific game. At first, I thought this was a cool idea so I replied and said I'd be open to it. They sent a followup email and are saying that they would require my contest page to remain up for 12 months with links to the relevant company pages. The contest would last only a few weeks, but they basically want free advertising for a year. The only advantage I get out of the deal is that I might get a bit more traffic to my website. Am I being taken advantage of, or is this normal practice for websites? Should I charge them a fee (or do they normally have to pay websites fees to run contests)? I'd rather not piss them off by asking for money when that normally doesn't happen in these situations, and have them revoke the offer completely, as it would be cool if some of my members could get free games. | Big retailer wants to run a contest (free video games to 4 lucky winners) and have their ads on my website, but they aren't offering money. Should I ask for some? |
t3_3uw0ty | relationships | How do I [21F] ask my fiance [20M] to watch porn with me? | We've been together for 4 years and never really had any sexual problems until recently when I started a medication which makes it difficult for me to orgasm. He usually will take it personally no matter how many times I have explained it isn't because of him. I just switched to a new med to hopefully help with that but its still too early to tell.
I've watched some porn before and found it made it really easy for me to come. However, he doesn't watch porn. It's insanely weird. He has no reason to lie to me when he says he doesn't. He just tells me he stopped being attracted to porn when I came around. I may just be naive for believing him but I don't know. I really feel he isn't watching it.
But, this makes it difficult for me to come up and ask to watch porn together. I've tried asking before but he will take it as a joke. He once saw that I had a porno pic on my blog and said it was "surprising." I don't want him to think that because I want to watch porn I'm not attracted to him. I sorta wish he would watch porn so I could just pop in and join him. | Med makes it difficult for me to come. Wanna watch porn with my man but don't want him to be offended. |
t3_10dvav | loseit | Looking for diet advice, also soy question | So, 22 year old male, 5'11", 287 -> 240 over about 5 months or so now eating 1840 calories a day. Pretty sedentary lifestyle.
First, I've been eating some soy products (100% Morningstar farms stuff) and tonight I've just stumbled upon a bunch of things that it may be bad for you or it may not be bad for you, so I'm kind of confused if I should stay away or what.
Then I'm just thinking overall about my "diet" so far and wondering if I should start looking into more healthy stuff. I'm mainly eating stuff I can microwave, I hate cooking. I'll occasionally make some eggs but yeah. Looking at my MFP log my diet is mostly the Morningstar Farms stuff (with hamburger rolls), some Lean Cuisine/Weight Watcher things (mostly pasta-ish stuff), eggs, the occasional lean pocket. Obviously this isn't the healthiest stuff in the world but it's a lot better than what I was eating before, and it helped me establish limits on the amount of food I should be eating every day (even if 1860 is a lot of calories compared to others). I'm also not very big into vegetables. Also I don't eat a ton of meat, basically just stuff that's included in my variety of microwave meals, don't know if that's bad either. Basically when I started this I just implemented the calorie limit to my life and started eating things that were a bit healthier because I didn't want to use all my calories on a cheeseburger. | I know I could be eating healthier, but I don't like cooking, not big into vegetables, any advice on my diet? Also is soy actually bad? |
t3_yxnna | AskReddit | Do you think it's justifiable to not like when my parents go through my stuff? | I don't have anything illegal or something I shouldn't have.It's just that I don't particularly like anyone going through my stuff. This includes but isn't limited to- bedroom,computers,other electronics, and my bookbag.I'll let them do it, but I always stand over their shoulder, parent or not | My mom got pissed at me when I voiced I didn't like her looking through my stuff and not putting it back. |
t3_2i0ngp | relationships | I [19 M] am pursuing her [19 F] I've already talked to her and we're friends. Not sure what to do next. | So I met this girl at my college last year and chatted with her a few times but nothing more than 10 minutes, until yesterday. I saw her sitting alone and approached her; we talked for about an hour since we both had a long break. There was no obvious flirting, we were just talking about our summer and our hobbies. I'm interested in her but have no idea what she thinks about me. So next week when we both have the same break I am going to try and talk to her some more. Is there anything that I should do to make progress? Or should I just take it easy and chit chat. | Planning on talking to a girl I'm pursuing next week. We're already friends. Should I do anything to make progress? |
t3_4ahiou | legaladvice | California - How to establish Parentage? | Out of the blue, I just found out that I am a dad but my baby was given to another family by the mother without ever informing me(I never knew she was pregnant); the baby was not adopted through a formal process. The mother simply lied and listed another man(known to her) as the father on the birth certificate and this man took the baby home, who lives out of state, to his family straight from the hospital. I am not okay with another family raising my child and would like to establish my rights and gain custody.
My baby will be turning one in June and I would like to figure this out as soon as possible before she's old enough to remember this ordeal. I have tried to reach out to this "adopting" family but my words fall on deaf ears as I imagined they would.
1. Where do I get started to petition for a paternity test to prove I am the father and not the person on the birth certificate?
2. Baby was conceived and born in California. Birth Certificate Father lives out of state with the baby. Since father is out of state, does that affect where I have to begin the process? | wife gave away baby by falsifying birth certificate. need to get baby back. birth certificate father lives out of state. where do I begin? |
t3_3ertam | relationships | Me 21f, with my boyfriend 22m. What do LDR couples talk about when you can't talk about your day/job? | I say the word job, it was the simplest way to describe the situation. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We usually text a couple of times most days and call about 2-3 times a week.
But he's just started jury service. He can't tell me anything about the case at all. He leaves his house at 7am to get there, is there until the late afternoon, goes home, has dinner and then doesn't have time to do a lot more.
It's nice just to hear his voice, but he doesn't have much to talk about. And most days I'm helping my mum to unpack as she's just moved house, so my life isn't exactly exciting.
So what do couples talk about when one partner can't talk about their day? | Boyfriend can't tell me anything about 90% of his day. What kind of things do you do/talk about in this situation? |
t3_2vqe7z | relationships | Should I [24/M] try to have a relationship with someone [24/F] I'm not attracted to? | So I've known this girl for over 4 years now. I've known for a while that she's been into me and she's starting to make it clear she wants a relationship.
Problem is I just don't find myself to be attracted to her. We don't seem to have a lot in common and our values don't match. I'm also a rather strong introvert and that's probably not conducive to a good relationship. We are not very close friends anymore, we just see each other every month or so (we used to see each other a lot more in school). I don't feel like I know a ton about her yet.
On the other hand, I find myself intrigued because I've never been in a serious relationship. Maybe I should try this just to see what happens? Can attraction be built up if none was there to begin with? Maybe the dating experience itself will be worth it? Or is that unethical to potentially lead someone on like that? | Should I date girl I'm not attracted to if I've never had a relationship before? Would the experience be useful and is there potential for something to grow? |
t3_wwxsz | AskReddit | Reddit, y u no party on friday night!? I start! | M/21 Rather than dump the reality on all your pour souls' with the long, boring, sad, (yet) true story, I'm just gonna sum it up to I've accepted the fact that the reason I'm home this friday night is because I don't really have any friends to be doing anything special with. Otherwise I'd probably just drink some beer and smoke some cigarettes (and weed) in a parking lot with someone I could find who'd be down to kick it (which is obviously nothing special and actually quite depressing and sad). So I'm not missing anything special yet I'm still sad, partially because I am just browsing reddit after all and partially because I don't have anything to do anyways. Your turn, and let's specify sex/age for a better picture. | Not many friends, pretty much don't have anything to do. It's summertime, let's hear why *you're* even reading this right now? |
t3_2ro4rm | relationships | Me [30/F] with my best friend [30/F] her wedding was called off, how can I help? | So here is the shortest version:
My friend "Lucy" was engaged to a mega-dick. He had some addiction issues that have really ruined his life while they were together (they lost their house and he was fired from his job because of it). Well he got really messed up over the weekend and she finally stood up for herself and told him to leave. He lost it and told her that he doesn't want to marry her and that she should just kill herself because no one will want her.
Well Lucy is obviously devastated that this happened and is super embarrassed that she had to make all these calls to cancel her wedding and associated parties (bachelorette, shower, rehearsal etc.). I have tried my hardest to tell her the entire time they were together that I didn't think he was a good fit for her, without voicing my honest opinions because I was afraid of losing her.
Now that it has been called off I am here for her whenever she calls me but I don't live near her at all so there is only so much support I can give to her over the phone and via text.
After the break up Lucy was not left with much because he took everything he could get his hands on and she is just too spent to fight with him over it (all she has is just a mattress on the floor). I had bought her the pots and pans set that she registered for and I wanted to give them to her anyway because she needs them and I'm now not paying for any parties and dresses etc. so I feel like it's a nice thing to do.
I want some advice on what to write in a note to her. I want to be supportive of the fact that she was brave in not going through with this and that even though it will be hard that I will be there for her and help her in anyway that I can. I am afraid of coming off as insincere or "I told you so" if I write exactly what I am thinking.
Also if anyone else has ever helped a friend get through this what did you do for them? | my BFF's wedding was called off by her psycho abusive man; what can I do to help and I need advice on a letter I would like to write to her. |
t3_2w69ym | legaladvice | My mother wrote her own contract for a Lease-to-Own... | She became friends with the tenants, an older couple and adult daughter, and we often had them over for coffee and the like. In a flash they're unbelievably behind on rent, there are a million animals inside, and they've stopped paying the house insurance.
Lawyers are contacted, money is paid, and in the end the tenants compensated the owed amount and now we're at a stand still. We know we have to go through a foreclosure process but the tenants always wiggle out.
I do understand that they're paying fair and square but I hate their mistreatment of my mother and their blatant disrespect for the property. It used to be my big brother's so I don't want it to be destroyed.
But here lies the hiccup... the property is owned by both my mother and father but only my mother signed the contract meaning that half that house is not for sale. And my father is a last stage alcoholic so he's never able to sign something without doubt of his state of mind.
Can we take legal action to have the contract voided and rework something so my mother doesn't have to shell out much of what's been paid?
I'm debating buying the place myself and any hope that this can move in our favor is appreciated. Thank you. | My drunk dad never signed over his half of the rent house, can it be voided or amended to get the current tenants out? |
t3_2i0ujo | relationship_advice | [20/M] First relationship, how do I know if there's someone better out there? | I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. She is my first girlfriend and my first sexual partner. While we do have very different personalities and interests we find a way to make it work. Since this is my first relationship, I have nothing to compare it to. I know that every relationship has its ups and downs but is everything I deal with a "normal down?" She has depression which can be very tough to deal with, she once kissed another guy when she was drunk, but I know that's the biggest regret in her life. I feel like I could do better and find someone that fits my personality better but in the end I know I have a girlfriend that loves me more than life and would do anything in the world for me and I'm afraid to lose that. | My first relationship and I'm afraid there's someone better but I'm also afraid of losing what I have. Is the grass really greener? |
t3_3mxwho | relationships | I [21 M] am in like with my co-worker/crush [24 F] she has told me she is not looking for a romantic relationship atm but is might in the future maybe even with me. I recently had another girl give me her number. Should I just move on? | So I had this friend for a couple months. Lets call her Angela[19/F]. We were pretty close for couple months she even called me her best friend. Though somewhat out of the blue she just gave up on being my friend. I confronted her and she said she can't be around me with because I blame myself and am to much of a downer. She thinks I too often hate things.
I began talking to another girl someone I've had a crush on at work since I started, lets call her Jackie [24/f] and eventually got over Angela. Now Jackie has told me she's been hurt too many times to be in a relationship right now. She said that I might even be the guy she's looking for just not right now.
Now at work another girl got my number [Information available]. I don't know if its ok to text girl number 3
I feel like I'd be cheating on a girlfriend I don't even have.
I know its a stupid feeling to have.
Apologies for any grammatical problems. | Got hurt by a girl who was a friend. Started talking to new girl she just wants friendship at the moment. Got a third girls number don't know if its ok to text third girl. |
t3_34sbie | relationships | Me [16 M] am having a hard time expressing how I feel towards the [17 F] girl I like. | She resembles everything I hate in a person, yet I have inexplicable feelings for her.She's preppy, materialistic, superficial, and very naive. Isn't it funny how it seems to always work out this way?
Anyways, onto my current dilemma: I've known her for about 4 years, but not until 1-2 months ago did I become infatuated with her.As in most my relationships/friendships with girls she came up to me rather than vice versa(This isn't because I'm an amazing looking person, but more that I'm pretty reserved and only really speak when spoken to). We were recently moved next to each other in the two classes we have together and surprisingly became pretty good friends.
In the beginning I wasn't super interested in having an intimate relationship with her, but she is very flirtatious. She often turns around while saying nothing and makes straight eye contact for around 10 to 15 seconds. I tried to make a rational explanation of it all and put two and two together by assuming she acted this way towards all guys. I didn't start taking huge hints until another girl that I'm friends with in the class asked me if I was aware of how hard this girl I like was flirting with me.
So now here I am, interested in this girl that has been expressing her feelings toward me for over a month now and I have no idea what to do. We periodically have seat changes and I'm worried that if I don't act now I'll finish this school year with a backpack full of regret. I'm not sure that I even want to ask her out, because I personally feel that if something is a sure thing it'll happen naturally, I just really want it to happen!
Please give me some pointers! I have a pretty hard time expressing how I feel most of the time and am not even sure if she knows how I feel. (yes, I see her outside of school occasionally.) | Need to make a move on a girl that has been hinting towards me for over a month before its too late :3 |
t3_el8gx | AskReddit | reddit, I'm hell bent on getting this rebate on some contact lenses since they're trying to make it difficult, help me find the form I need | This isn't about the $20 anymore. It's about them making it a pain in the freaking ass to successfully complete a damn rebate. A few months ago I got some new contact lenses, I had happened to see a rebate for them, so I filled it out and sent it in. Weeks later, I get it back. There's a letter saying that I needed to include my eye exam receipt with the form, which I DID. So I packaged everything back up, wrote a letter saying that the eye exam receipt IS included, I highlighted the actual receipt, and sent it back.
Now, weeks later, I get everything back again. This time, there's a letter saying:
> Please obtain WalMart's offer form 386-171 $20. You may resubmit with the WalMart receipt, exam receipt and box tops. Offer 386-160 does not accept WalMart or 1800contacts.
Now I'm just pissed off, I don't care about the $20 anymore, but I want to get the money from them just for the point of it that they're making this rebate process EXTREMELY difficult. So instead of the form I have, I need a form that is the same, but has a different number on it, to get the same exact rebate... because I bought my contacts from WalMart instead of Lenscrafters or somewhere? Really??? And did they bother to tell me WHERE to find this rebate form? Nope.
Anyways, I've searched around, and I can't seem to even FIND this form anywhere. It's not the normal rebate form on Acuvue's website. I can't find it on WalMart or 1800Contacts website. The rebate is for 4 boxes of Acuvue Oasys for Astigmatism that are purchased from WalMart or 1800Contacts. The form number is 386-171.
Anyways, I just hate how companies try to make these rebates so damn difficult that they figure most people won't even bother with them, so I want to try to see this one through all the way just for the principal of it.
Any help finding this form is appreciated! | Acuvue is making it difficult to complete this rebate, so I need help finding "WalMart's offer form 386-171 for Acuvue Oasys for Astigmatism contacts, $20 rebate for 4 boxes" |
t3_nobmz | dogs | Doggit, my dog has changed (for the better)? | Hi, guys. I have an unusual question about my husky/lab mix, who turned one year last month.
In the past few months, she was really testing our patience as an adolescent pup. She is well-exercised, but she would not allow my boyfriend and I to be in the same room, basically. If we were both sitting on the couch, she would bark at us incessantly and never do a command -- even ones she knows well and would do otherwise. She has always had a problem with jumping up on people, as well, even though we have tried and tried to train against it.
The other day, we got a squirt bottle on a whim (she loves water so we didn't think it would really help). But for some reason, since we got that squirt bottle, she listens to us.
She has been extraordinarily well behaved for about a week, now. We have been able to have company and she didn't trample them. She listens when we tell her to get on her bed. She comes when called (a hit or miss command for the husky in her). She has even stopped barking at us when we're in the living room, only whining when she needs to go out.
The strange thing to me is that we've barely used that squirt bottle. She isn't super afraid of it or anything... most of the time we just have to shake it at her. | Has your dog ever had a sudden personality change for the better? Is it possible for them to just "snap" and be more like an adult dog? |
t3_2t3pz2 | tifu | TIFU by buying a bar of chocolate. | So I was on a date with a girl to the cinema. The date went well, but it was only a second date, and I still didn't know if she liked me or not. So she went to the bathroom, and I decided to go to the shop next to it while waiting. Now we had gone to see the hobbit and I was starving as i hadn't eaten since dinner before, and I didn't feel I needed a snack during it, and I didn't want to ask her for some in case she thought it was weird.
So when I went to the shop I saw condoms, and I started to ask myself if I may need some myself. Now I'm a 19 year old virgin, so I'm very oblivious to any signs of interest from girls, and I never had a need to already have condoms. Now I only had enough money for the condoms by themselves, and then I wouldn't have been able to afford the chocolate. So I bought the chocolate. BIG MISTAKE.
I drive her back to her college apartment, and walked her to the door. She then invites me inside for some tea. Now being inexperienced and kind of clueless I think she genuinely means a cup of tea. So we are there sitting on the couch drinking tea when she leans in and starts kissing me. Things escalate and she's dragging me to her room and we start getting undressed. Then she ask the dreaded question,
"Do you have a condom?"
So now I'm sitting here, still a virgin, with a mars bar wrapper in my hand. | Bought a bar of chocolate instead of condoms while on a date, and now I'm still a virgin because of it. |
t3_49ipt3 | relationships | My (35/F) husband (35/M) of 6 years and the "whose turn is it game". | For the past few years, there has been this running joke among my husband's (and mostly mine as well, we all hang out together) friends that they play a game called "Whose turn is it?" which really is just waiting until my husband asks whose turn it is and then laughing at him. It is always his turn. You see, when playing a game (even one of his suggestion and choosing), he always tries to do too much. For instance, playing spades… he will decide to start making a playlist. Instead of waiting until the round is over, he'll get up mid-round and make a drink. He'll move his rook in a game of chess and then pick up the guitar from the corner and start tuning it. We were playing cards against humanity last weekend and he just straight up started checking and replying to his work email at 10 on a Saturday, while blazed.
"Whose turn is it" really hurts my husband's feelings because it makes him feel dumb, but at this point, I'm starting to get frustrated because it is pretty obnoxious. I mean, essentially he's checking out of the thing he says he wants to do. I've even tried asking, "Hey, do you want to keep playing this game?" and he always says yes in a defensive manner.
Is this something I should just get over? Should I ask his friends to cool it on the "whose turn is it" game? Should I try to figure out a way to get him to stay focused on the game? | my husband seems incapable of concentrating solely on a casual board or card game among friends, but his feelings are hurt when this behavior is pointed out or joked about. |
t3_2wvv6m | jobs | Active Job Scam - Volunteer Youth Exchange | Its a work-from-home job opportunity that is being posted all over Canadian job sites. Brandon Plunkett & Robert Johnston are two names used for the VYE (volunteer youth exchange) company under the number 902-800-0073. My only point of contact was with Brandon Plunkett via email, and he requested I complete various power point assignments. It was during an assignment I began questioning the authenticity of the company, and investigated. The company address Brandon provided is to the Mt St Vincent University, where a quick call to the university confirmed this is a scam company and that the police are investigating. So disappointing! (I am copying this to other websites to help word spread since this scam is still active) | VYE (volunteer youth exchange) is a scam company. If you read this and have considered applying, do not. Police are investigating them. |
t3_26q0if | dating_advice | M22 Dating F18 Need advice on university situation | I met a wonderful girl around the Easter time when she was back from university on holidays me and her hit if off. It's like me and her are the same person how well we get on.
We have met up three times when she was home but now she's gone back to uni about a month ago. We have been talking nearly every day for two months now we have not spoken to each other for two days in a row.
I know she likes me and says she's interested in seeing where the relationship goes and said that she thought I was cute. She also said that she's looking forward to coming home for the summer.
I just wonder if you guys think if I should cool it for a few days or text her today. Normally she either texts me first or I do varies in the past. | Met a girl two months ago, been on three dates, it went well. Haven't heard from her in two days. She's away at uni 100 miles away, should I text her. |
t3_2h3oel | relationships | How does abortion affect the love between the couple? | Last fall, my (24F) boyfriend (24M) and I had been dating three months when we found out I was pregnant. After deliberation, we decided the best option at the time was for me to get an abortion.
We went on dating and growing together. I moved away for a
job, but we kept the relationship going, making every effort to see one another. We are now engaged and have been dating a little more than a year now. While it is very exciting, I cannot help but wonder if we are getting married because of the pregnant.
I'm not worried about him. He loves me completely. I'm worried about my feelings that seem so foreign and out of my realm of understanding.
Before I got pregnant, I wasn't sure my fiancé was even a person I should be dating. When I got pregnant, I realized how much I needed him - for balance, support and alliance. He delivered and proved we could work through anything together.
I love him, but do I love him because I think it's the right thing to do or because it's authentic? There are moments of sheer bliss in this relationship and moments when the agony of uncertainly is unbearable.
Love and marriage have always been a scary thing for me. So perhaps it just boils down to that.
Thoughts? | I can't shake the feeling that my abortion has affected my love/ attachment to my fiancé. Unsure about marriage. Seeking others advice. |
t3_3x49ms | relationships | I [19/M] am really into this girl [19/F] who is really hard to read. How do I know if I have a chance? | I've never had a long term relationship. Never had a girlfriend, just dated two other girls in the past, both didn't end up going anywhere real. I'm really bad at seeing the "signs" and don't really know how to keep a conversation exciting unless I like what we're talking about. However, I met this girl that I find super attractive both looks and personality wise about 3 months ago. We study together at the same University and I met her at an orientation for an extracurricular organization.
We text semi-regularly when she's not busy with her extracurricular stuff. When we do text, we have really nice long conversations, but sometimes we go a few days without talking because she gets really busy.
I've had about two lunch hang outs and took her out to brunch once. Just recently I took her on a real date. Just her and I, a really sweet romantic movie and dinner. (Cliché, I know but what can I say) I made it clear that I was taking her on a date and not just a hangout. Got to put my arm around her at the movies but she didn't seem to like or dislike it.
Which brings me to my questions: How can I tell if she likes me? I know for sure that she knows I like her. Although I've never said it straight to her, I'm kind of an open book when it comes to stuff like this. Should I ask her how "we" are? Should I tell her straight that I like her? I'm probably not going to see her regularly until next year because classes are out for the winter break and I really don't want to tell her I like her over the phone or anything like that.
She's super nice to everyone no matter who they are. That's why I'm questioning if she likes me back because she's just the type of girl who's always bubbly and happy.
I really don't want to scare her off by saying something stupid. Any advice Relationship gurus? | Into this girl that's nice to everyone so I can't really tell if she likes me back. Taken her out to a nice date once. Text semi-regularly. |
t3_2t8huv | loseit | Help me plan my Food Decision-Free Month | The more decisions you have to make per day, the less you exhaust your willpower and the fewer times you have to rely on that willpower to help yourself make a healthy (calorie-budget-friendly) choice. I'm thinking if I plan ahead EXACTLY what I'm going to eat at every meal for a month and just follow that, the only decision I have to make during that period is to not give up. I'm going to rely on repetitive meals (which don't bother me at all) for my meals most days. Of course, there will be times that I can't eat at home or I'm confronted with surprise foods. I need policies for these occasions. I think a good first policy is that if I haven't planned ahead for a food, I won't eat it (this means that when I am offered surprise treats, I don't have to make a decision, as the answer is definitely no). When I'm out, it's tougher. I won't always know what will be available, but perhaps some of you can help me decide on some rules to go by, so in the moment I'm just following an algorithm instead of deciding based on my cravings or what I think will be best in the moment. This way I can't let my mind justify me eating more calories than I should (because it's just this once, because a friend offered it to me, because I'm stressed, etc). I'll also plan ahead of time for treats, so that I know I'll have occasional delicious treats and can look forward to it and not have to decide every day when confronted with options whether it's the correct moment to indulge. Those are my ideas so far. Anyone done anything like this or think it sounds interesting? I welcome any ideas! | How can I best plan for a month in which all of my food decisions are pre-decided or based on an algorithm, in order to avoid having to rely on good decision-making every day? |
t3_1f3rry | AskReddit | roughing it in san francisco? | hey guys. ive been lurking around reddit for a while but finally decided to make an account. i know this is a pretty helpful place and im taking a journey in a few months so i decided i would see what suggestions i could find here. im headed out to the outskirts of san francisco from the east coast to live and work with a friend. hes a glassblower operating a shop out of an office/storage unit and hes offering me a place to stay for a while. the only thing is we will be living in the shop. from what he tells me, things are going pretty successfully, but he warned me that him and his business partner have no plans to find another place to live for a couple months. this sort of lifestyle doesnt bother him much, but it makes me wary. it sounds like a really chill spot by the beach, but his only bathroom is a nearby portapotty with limited access to a select few people he knows (something he arranged). he goes to the beach to shower. i will probably look in to getting a gym membership when i get there in hopes of finding a better showering environment, as well as the ability to remain fit. i feel like im coming off as rambling at this point. basically im here for suggestions. ive lived my entire life with easy access to a bathroom/shower and a kitchen, and am about to embark on a semi-permanent campout (at least for the next few months). so its going to be a change. ill obviously bring money so i can buy stuff (not a shitload, im not rich or anything, but i know this is going to cost money), and im leaving enough money back home with my parents so they can spend it on a plane ticket home if i ever need it. there is work i can do in my friends shop, as well as selling the glass he makes (part of why im going out there) so i will be making a little bit of money while im there, but most of it will be going to living expenses because im not trying to mooch off my friend. to those of you who have done anything vaguely similar to this: im looking for whatever suggestions you guys have. | got any advice for a low income guy in his 20s headed out to the suburbs of san francisco for a bit? |
t3_k4rpz | AskReddit | Any doctors/nurses/physical therapists on Reddit that can give me advice on a mild neck injury? | Three nights ago I slipped on a wet restaurant floor and fell flat on my back, but I instinctively kept my head up. The fall sorta looked like this:
The thud made when I hit the ground was so loud that the waitress started shrieking. A middle aged man helped me up and told me that I'm lucky I'm young (20-something otherwise healthy male), because he'd probably have to go to the hospital if he fell like I did.
I woke up the next morning feeling fine, but over the course of the day the front base of my neck (below the Adam's apple) started aching. It hurt when I tilt my head backwards and looked straight up. It also hurt when I spoke, unless my head was tilted down when I did it. The day after, it hurt to open my mouth wide enough to eat, but I've since gotten over that. But the ache when speaking and head-tilted-back thing are both still there and it's bothering me. My dad happened to have a foam neck brace from a car accident years ago, which has come in handy these past few days.
Do you think this could be serious enough to see a doctor? I'm traveling next week on business and I would need a really, really good excuse to skip it for what seemed like a pretty minor fall. | Slipped on a wet restaurant floor three nights ago, now concerned about neck aches. Important work thing next week, can't afford to skip it unless I have a really good reason. Should I see a doctor? |
t3_1hc6jb | relationship_advice | (16/m) My girlfriend (16/f) just broke up with me. | I was going out with this girl for four months (to the day), but she broke up with me this morning with a text. It was my fault that the relationship went sour, because I was uncomfortable with how fast the relationship was moving so I sort of checked out. For the past few weeks, I had been contemplating breaking up with her, but now that she has broken up with me, I feel sad and I want her back. I know that it is best for both of us to be broken up, so I can't figure out why I'm sad, especially considering that I thought I didn't like her anymore.
I need your help Reddit. | I was thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend, she broke up with me first, and now I'm sad and I can't figure out why. |
t3_1c94i2 | relationship_advice | Lack of texting = lack of interest? [27f][29m] | We have been seeing each other for about a month and have been on 8 dates, having met on okcupid. We had a great instant connection (physical, emotional, everything) which I've never felt with anyone else before. For anyone who's used okcupid, we are a 99% match.
The first week his texting was non-existent (I would have to initiate all conversations, which I was fine with), then the next 2 weeks it was there and great, but then started to slow down and has been pretty bad for the last 2 weeks. eg. Slow conversation, with me initiating; him replying to me, but no counter-questions, etc. I don't text much - at most, once a day and lately every few days.
Last week when I brought up the fact that if there's not enough interest, we don't have to see each other, he replied with a sorry and saying that he's definitely interested, but has just been out all weekend. That was fine, but this behavior is repeating this week (and this week he told me he has tons of work to do over the weekend, which I'm seeing as him gently telling me to eff off).
I am feeling that this is a sign of disinterest from his side. Can anyone please provide some input? In person, it's pretty good/great, though the last time I saw him, the conversation was a bit slow. I should add that he is shy and quite passive.
What should I do at this point? Should I bring this up right now? Should I wait for him to message me first (this may take a while). Should I just forget about this guy, since I am seeing almost zero effort from his side? | Lack of texting from a guy I've been seeing for a month, interpreting it as a sign of disinterest, or should I? |
t3_228gt9 | relationships | Should I (35m) be worried about my wife (28) checking out guys? | Ok, I know it's perfectly normal to check out the opposite sex. But this is a bit different, I think anyway. So, honest question.
Ok, so my wife (together 6 years, married for 5 months) is attractive and on the occasion some guy will check her out. I don't care really, but sometimes she will go into like a catatonic daze and just stare at the guy especially if he is "hot", and if we were talking she just tunes right out and it takes her a few minutes to compose herself. Sometimes she will blush, but every time it's almost like she just starts posing and I think it is bizarre behaviour, I mean I see hot ladies every day but I don't turn into an idiot after I see them.
For example just now we drove to the beer store and there were a couple young construction workers there and my wife and I were having a conversation then we get out of the car and I almost had to pull her away from staring at this guy, and she was visibly flustered and I was like "really?" and she couldn't talk normally for a few minutes, she just had this weird dreamy look on her face.
Anyway, I'm wondering if I should be worried. It doesn't happen *that* often but unfortunately for me she does it around 2 of my good friends. Ok, so does this happen to any of your so's? Thanks. | my wife acts like a Catholic school girl sometimes around hot guys and it bothers me. I would like to feel that this is common behavior and I shouldn't be concerned. |
t3_4j2lqq | relationships | My(23F) dad (50) is having a baby with his new wife (20s) and my mom is asking my brother and I to have nothing to do with the new baby. | Alright so my family is pretty weird.
My parents were together for 20 years before they got separated and then divorced about 14 years ago.
Since then my mom has not really met anyone new, went through cancer and got through it, and so far is just a pretty lonely woman. (I don't live in my home country anymore, I am pretty much living as far away from my home country as possible right now, my brother did just move back to our home country though. Their relationship is not as close, so she is still lonely)
Pretty much immediately after they got separated my father started dating the woman he is with now. They just got married a few years ago. My father had a vasectomy shortly after I was born, but because his wife is so young (PRETTY MUCH MY AGE...) she wanted a baby. So he got it reversed and she is now pregnant, due in about 5 months-ish.
I knew about the pregnancy for a few months now, but I held off on telling my mom for a few reasons, one being because she's lonely, and two because she had a hysterectomy and I knew that hearing the news would bring some feelings out.
I ended up telling her a few days ago, and at first on the phone with me she acted like it was no big deal. However, when my brother had dinner with her the night after I told her, she was asking us to not have anything to do with the baby, meaning, not meet the baby, not hold the baby, not take care of the baby. My brother tried to tell her "It will technically be related to us even though we are not close with dad's wife"
She acted okay at that moment, but I know my mom, and I know she's not really okay with it.
So r/relationships, how can I deal with this situation? How can I make my mom feel okay about this, and trust that my brother and I love her and won't replace her with dad's wife? | Dad and new young wife having baby. Mom not happy about this, wants brother and I to basically ignore new baby. |
t3_39jh2i | relationships | I (20f) recently starting realizing my feelings for my best friend Ralph (20m), and he just started dating his other best friend, Nikki (20f) | I've been friends with Ralph for 7/8 years which is about the same he's been friends with Nikki. Him and I have always been very close friends and tell each other nearly everything. We hang out multiple times a week since he lives a mile away and we get along well. He even goes on my family vacations with me and we've talked about being roommates in an apartment our senior year of college for the last 2 years.
Multiple people have always told me they saw a thing between Ralph and I, but I haven't come to realize it until recently. It has come to my realization more when we went away together this weekend with another couple that are friends of ours. Today I was going to at least hint at my feelings, but I was told by a friend that Nikki and Ralph are now "Facebook official" so I cancelled on them and went home.
I have always had an on/off friendship with Nikki, because we don't have a lot in common. I now have no idea what I should do since I can't avoid Ralph forever. I really like him, but he's also my best friend so I don't know if I should even tell him how I feel. Hanging out with them will now be extremely uncomfortable for me though. What should I do about the whole situation? We're going to a concert this Sunday with his sister and her friend and I feel like it may be awkward since he knew I flew out of the parking lot before he arrived earlier today when we were all supposed to hangout. | it took me 7 years to realize my feelings for my best guy friend, and now he's dating his other best friend. |
t3_3h7uxd | relationships | My boyfriend [20 M] of 1.5 years drives me [20 F] nuts, and I'm not happy. Am I overreacting? | We've been together for a while, but my boyfriend acts like a little kid, then tries to guilt me by saying "okay, I'll quit being myself now" whenever he sees that I'm not enjoying him acting like a serious idiot, not the funny kind of idiot a lot of guys like to be.
He will jump around (sometimes hitting me as his arms go rogue) and make noises, adds insightful content to our conversations such as the insult "no, you're a ____" like kids use in middle school, and generally says mean/stupid things that aren't funny then pouts when I don't laugh.
But, he can be sweet when he tries, which is rare. | My boyfriend puts me in a bad mood and is not funny. Is this normal in a long relationship, or, if not, what should I do? |
t3_4dls92 | relationships | I (19F) am afraid that my FWB (26M) is with me out of pity | Hello, I'm sorry if my problem is petty, but I just am very confused.
So first of all, my FWB, let's call him Mike, and I met online. I was going through a recent break up and he listened to me, all my frustrations, my sadness, a lot. He gave me advices, he encouraged me, he also told me stories of how he moved on from his past relationships. He was patient and understanding, I really am very appreciative of his friendship.
Until one night, I drunkenly sent him a message of how I missed sex. I immediately apologized to him the morning after, and he said he didn't mind. We met up days after, and on the second time we met, things got a little frisky. Before we got to the third base, I stopped, said that things were all rushed, and that I genuinely thought we were just targetting friendship. He said that the context of our relationship is sexual, and that he's not interested in a relationship with me, he just wants to make me happy. I shrugged it off, and just got along with it.
The last few times we did the deed, he watched porn before the thing, and often times it's petite thin girls, and he always comments how he loves that they have no stomach, and such a nice figure and then commented, "You have a tummy right?". And he talks a lot about the hot girls in his gym and stuff. I just feel super unattractive when he says that because I'm a bit chubby (he's fit btw) and I don't really have those things he describes as turn on's. He never commented anything on my body tho. So yeah, watching porn is our foreplay, I get enough wet usually and the lube of the condom is enough. I also worry that he's just thinking about those fit girls while we're at it. :(
So what do I do? I'm afraid to speak with him because he might laugh at me.. Also I'm naive with this whole casual no strings attached thing, and I'm a complete amateur on bed, I feel insecure... | My friend always watches porn as foreplay, comments how hot the girls are (and I'm not as fit as them), and I feel like he's just fucking me out of pity. |
t3_34mgqp | relationships | I [25/M] am having a petty moment with my girlfriend [27/F] now i can't sleep. | So basically we have only been dating a few months. I am currently at her house and we just had pretty great sex.
About 5 minutes after the sex we were in bed and she was on Facebook chatting to a guy she has slept with before (a few years ago). This annoyed me a little but i shrugged it off and came onto reddit and started responding to peoples ask reddit posts. She then asked who i was talking to and I replied that i was just on reddit. She didn't believe me. I asked her what was wrong and if she wanted to talk about it before we went to bed. She said nothing was wrong but after me asking another 2 or 3 times she said dont stress its nothing but i don't want to talk about it.
I am assuming she is mad because she thought I was lying about reddit. I even lay down on the bed in a way so she could see my phone. She is now asleep and i am in the lounge on the couch on Netflix. I hate not talking about things and leaving things unresolved. I know that i could instantly fall asleep on the couch but if i went back to bed i would struggle to sleep since she is right there and i want to talk to her. But at the same time if i dont go back to bed she will probably be mad in the morning.
So do i get a good night sleep on the couch or sacrifice an hour or more of sleep so i am there next to her in the morning? Also how do i handle these tiny petty moments in the future? | girl i am dating is annoyed at me because she thinks I was lying about me being on reddit. (Thats what i assume) How do i handle these small petty fights in the future? |
t3_1pytv4 | relationships | What are the guidelines for m/f friendships when the dude is married? | Hi guys. I have an issue that's been slowly getting more and more troublesome for me. I'm a 27 year old unmarried lady. There's a dude on my facebook that I went to school with, but was never very close to, that has gotten to the point that he sends me messages multiple times a day. I respond to him every two or three days, but on the days I don't, I normally receive upwards of ten messages from him. He never says anything inappropriate, but this, coupled with the amount of "hot chicks" pages that he follows (privately, I just see it when he likes a new page on the sidebar thing), makes me feel uncomfortable. He's been married for a few years, and if I was his wife, I know I wouldn't be comfortable with this situation. I assume that she doesn't know, and I am not interested in participating in something that could cause any problems between a married couple.
Two questions - Am I just overreacting? How can I handle this in the most diplomatic way possible? | unmarried lady getting increasingly uncomfortable with married dude's persistent facebook messages. i do not know his wife, and i'm not looking to mess with anyone's relationship. |
t3_2vv0kp | relationships | Should I [23 M] break up with her [23 F] on Valentines day? | Hey guys this sucks, but I'll cut to the chase.
Ive been seeing my buddies ex gf for about a month now behind his back and its killing my conscious, i unfortunately kept this going on for a month. But i NEED to break it off. It just doesn't feel right and I'm betraying his friendship.
But i dont know if i should do it later today or tell her tomorrow. We have a date for later today to go watch a movie, dinner..etc but i don't know if i should even do that.
Should i break it off today on valentine's or go out with her, be a little distant and tell her Sunday? I really need help guys, i don't want to ruin her Valentines day. Im already a dick for not telling her sooner but i don't want to be a full on asshole by telling her i can't keep doing this on valentine's day.
# | dating close friends ex gf behind his back. Need to break it off ASAP. Don't know if today (Valentines) or tomorrow. Either way I'm fucked |
t3_218fnm | relationships | My[22m] best friend[22m] and his GF[21f] and their problems | Hey guys,
My friend has a girlfreidn, yay. I am also friends with her. Now they seem to be having some problems.
My friend is working a lot in an imporntat position for his company and deals currently with very much stress. This seems to be having negative impact on their relationship and because I am friends with his GF we talk about this and her concerns.
These go as far that she is considering to leave him. I didn't talk with him about their relationships because he didn't seem to want my advice or insight.
Now I don't know if I should go ahead and tell him or if I should let them figure their stuff out even though I knew her thoughs which he might not realize that far. | My best friends GF is considering leaving him because of their relationship troubles. He doesn't seem to realize. Should I sit down with him and talk about it? |
t3_19eikv | relationship_advice | [F/16] feel too self-conscious to see my boyfriend [m/19] recently after recovering from anorexia. | I recently got up to a healthy weight (overshooting it a bit, actually) after battling anorexia, bulimia and multiple hospitalizations for 2+ years. But ever since I achieved that, I've wanted to isolate myself from him because I feel disgusting. I've only been with him for about 10 months--not even close to when I was at my worst with the disease. When I'm with him I don't feel relaxed and I get hypersensitive about things that he says, which makes continuing our sexual relationship difficult, since half the time, I'm forcing my enthusiasm. I've never faked an orgasm before until recently.
He says that he doesn't care--that he cares about me as a person and all that stupid shit--but not only do I not believe him, but last time I was with him he said that "he thought it was cute that I used to starve myself to please him". I don't know what to do or how to feel. I'm currently restricting again because it's the only thing that makes me feel better. Help? | Recently recovered from anorexia. Don't want to see my boyfriend because I feel fat and disgusting. Recently he told me that he liked it when I starved myself. Currently restricting again. |
t3_2t0rz5 | dating_advice | [20 M] ready to admit that horse riding, basketball, and video games don't trump companionship. | My roommate's girlfriend brought another girl back to our apartment a couple of weeks ago. She was very cute and seemed pretty nice, but she was clearly meant for, and had more in common with, my other roommate. Also at the time, I was still in the "education and hobbies leave no room for girls" mode. Since then I have wanted to get on the dating scene, but have absolutely no idea how to start. My last relationship was in high school. I am finishing up my third year in Mechanical Engineering and am doing quite well, but unfortunately that doesn't leave much time for clubs. Even when it does, there aren't many single girls in things like ASME. I think that I am reasonably attractive. On a separate throwaway I went to rateme and the mean, median, and mode were all seven. I'm pretty intelligent (I only feel comfortable saying that because I'm not looking you in the eyes; normally I exercise almost inimical humility in public), and unless they laugh to make me feel better (possible given how great they are), my friends think that I'm pretty funny. I know that I'm eventually supposed to ask some kind of question, but I don't even know what that looks like. What I really need is for some benevolent redditor to tell me from the ground up, how do I find a nice girl, court her, and find a meaningful relationship with her. I understand Rome wasn't built in a day, and as of now, it doesn't seem like I have much to offer a girl, but I'm hoping with your help I can improve myself and become more of a person that a girl would want to share their time with. Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you'll share your advice! | Whereas I didn't before; I see value in sharing your time and experiences with a partner. I need "starting from scratch" advice help to make me a dateable person. |
t3_owx40 | AskReddit | What was/is the coolest teacher you've ever had? I'll start. | My english teacher had gone to an island with some college buddies Lord of the Flies style. He paid a fisherman with a shady boat 10 dollars to drive them to the island and pick them up. When on the island, numerous pounds of cocaine washed up on the shore. The police in the area showed up and picked up the cocaine while my teach and his friends were in the treeline. When they got to shore a couple of days later, they found they had been followed by the police and got arrested for questioning.
He also told the officials at a horse race in Italy he was with the press and had a press badge. He showed them his YMCA id and got in for free. (It was an expensive race)
He feels free to curse and say orgy cause he doesn't care if he gets fired, "I can get a job anywhere anytime." He's pretty much awesome. | Went to an island, got arrested for suspected cocaine smuggling, snuck into an expensive horse race, cusses. |
t3_3fkpye | tifu | TIFU by closing a door. | (This involves me, my uncle, my aunt, and her 1 year old daughter)
So this happened a couple hours ago..
It was a good Sunday afternoon, everyone was taking their afternoon naps. We were planning go to the state fair today since it was the last day to go.
As everyone was getting ready to go, I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. What I didn't realize was the little toddler following my footsteps really close to me.
Seconds later, I hear crying right outside the bathroom door. I immediately open the door to see what's wrong. To my horror, I see the little one, standing there with the most painfully expression I have ever seen on a baby. She had caught her small fingers between the side crack of the door and it was now just blood everywhere.
Everyone was freaking out, we grabbed what we could and rushed out the door to the hospital. The staff there saw our frantic manner and pointed the way to the emergency room. As soon as we got there, they bandaged up her hand and had to go through the standard Q&A.
Half an hour later, X-Rays showed that her ring finger was almost torn right off and she had 3 other fractured fingers. I felt horrible, awful. Words can't describe how I felt. I just kept blaming myself over and over again. "Why wasn't I more careful!? Why didn't I pay attention!?"
The doctors told us she need to go under operation. They also told us that there was little to no chance that they could save her ring finger.
Now, I'm not really a religious person, but my uncle told me to pray real hard or else it would be my fingers next. And boy, I prayed and prayed real hard.
She and her mom go into the operating room as I begin writing this post. Time goes by, and I literally just got the news that the baby will be all right. Thank the heavens.
What a Sunday night. | CLosed door, baby got fingers caught between the crack, fingers almost torn off, lots of guilt, hospital visit and operation, everything is alright now. |
t3_4x0wep | relationships | I (28F) know my co-worker (28M) is going to get let go two days after he will purchases his first townhouse. | For awhile now, our lead has been wanting to replace this individual, we will call him, Todd. Now, Todd is a real kind, he's a great guy and I value his friendship but I think his work is poor and could use an overhaul. But it's extremely hard trying to find a replacement to work overnights with shifts at 10 hours each and Todd's shift being over the weekend, makes it even harder.
I get a call from another employee who starts asking about the 3rd shift--"What's it like--is it busy?" "Whats an average night?" etc. I asked how this happened. He explained: His job duties had ended within that department and they no longer ended his services.
The truth: My lead threw a fit regarding some mistakes that were made. As a result, the employee is moving back to our department but has a choice of his old 1st shift or the 3rd shift which pays more. Joke is on the lead, as the employee picked the 3rd shift.
Todd is so utterly thrilled to be purchasing a home. I know he will make great life choices, but I feel he needs to be prepared and not thrown out on the street.
We are all contractors, the shitty part is the contract can end on any day, any time, anywhere. | I know a co-worker who is going to be let go two days after he is closing on his house, should I tell him before he closes on the house? How do I tell him? |
t3_376g29 | relationships | [Relationships] Me [18m] was just told by ex [17f] that she cheated on me with my good friend [19m]. | lright so I've been broken up with my ex for about a month now and it wasn't a nice one, she told told me when we broke up that she hated the entire relationship and i was boring and that she only stayed because of her virginity etc. I've done my best to cope with it by hanging out with friends and talking to parents and whatnot. But out of the blue she text me today, saying she misses me, I said alright I miss you too but we can't just jump right back to where we were and I suggested we talk a little first. She ignored it and said she wanted to talk about something. She says "You know I never cheated on you right?" I replied "Yes." She went on to say that she felt bad and that she hung out with a guy while we were dating. I asked if they did anything and she said no. I ask who it was and she replied "who it is*". She kept trying to play games to get me to guess but I wasn't having it, and eventually just said if you don't tell me what you want from me, bye. She said wait and that she just wants my blessing, I say "blessing for what?" She replied "Blessing for me and H". H being my good friend. Of course I couldn't hold myself and I let some words slip but she didn't reply. I'm so lost on why she would do this, how I should treat my friend, and how to cope with this. Please help me, any advice would be great. | Ex I was struggling to get over told me she cheated on me with a friend and is in a relationship with him now. What do? |
t3_14e8l4 | relationships | I [22f] want to break up with my boyfriend [24], but he's moving away in 2 weeks. Should I wait? | We've been dating about 8 months now, with the understanding that we'd break up when he moved away. I'm his first long-term girlfriend, and he says he's in love. I don't dislike him, he hasn't done anything wrong, we're just moving in different directions. I would feel really bad about the pain he'd feel if I were to break up with him, but at the same time I'd feel really awful lying to him for these next two weeks. I'd feel guilty if I came up with excuses not to have sex, but just as guilty if we did have sex.
So should I wait two weeks and spare him the pain? Or just break up with him now?
Note: It's finals week soon, so I'm also worried about his doing worse if I were to end it now. | don't want to be with him, but I'm not sure if I should bite the bullet to spare him since it's ending soon anyway. |
t3_1lw2bx | relationships | How do I[21M] get the message through my friend(possibly gf)[18F] that not texting me every 5-10 min is okay? Or is this fine? | So I'm back to a similar relationship as last year. I was 19 and my friend was 21. We texted eachother 24/7. I learned that it was bad and I didn't have to stay in contact. It made our relationship boring actually.
I'm not old fashioned or consider myself a (i dont know what you call the poeple that are on their phones 24/7 using apps and all).
My relationships haven't been a holding hands kind of relationship just to add.
So like I said, I'm back. This girl is thrilled and I am also. I would like to keep it like that. I know texting a lot is "cute" so I do it but know too much is bad. It'll get borning again.
When I text, I genuinely want to text her something. It's always a question I'm curious about. But I know when I answer a question and just respond with my answer, she will respond but it's in a position where she doesn't have to.
I really want to prevent that from happening so how can I approach this? | I know texting a lot is bad. Previous relationship ended because of it. How can I not be direct (i just don't want to sound mean)? Experience from anyone who has a lot of texting in relationship. |
t3_309pfk | relationships | My [24f] SO's [24m] friend cheats on her husband where to head from here? | My [24f] SO [24m] of 4 years has a friend [27f] since his school days who he considers a very good friend of his. He was interested in her 8-9 years back but nothing worked out betwn them and they have always been just friends. I have always been a little wary of her just from her vibes and the fact that she is a girl and a friend of my SO and because they are always touchy touchy and flirty around each other.
I was ready to get over all this especially because she has been married to her husband since the time she and my SO met..but I recently came to know from my SO that she 'made out' with one of our common friends whom she had just met at a party and that she has cheated on her husband at least once before as well.
I cannot make peace with the fact that she cheated on her husband but my SO thinks its none of his business to judge his friend on her morals and that just because she has a tendency to cheat on her husband doesn't make her a bad friend to him.
While I do understand what he wants to say but I cannot imagine being friends with someone who would cheat on someone they claim to love. But I find myself unable to find a logic as to why shouldn't he continue to be friends with her.
She has always made me uncomfortable because of how she behaves and tries to get everyone's attention...now that I know what kind of person she is.. it is making me paranoid thinking about that fact that she will always be in my SO and my life. | SO's close friend cheated at least twice on her husband. Dont want her in my SO's life. SO doesn't see any relation between her moral character and their friendship. |
t3_t5uow | AskReddit | Reddit, I just tried to get scammed. What's the best way I can try to report this or get them back? | A little background. I was sitting at work, when I get a phone call from an unknown number. It looked like a strange number, but I answered anyway, thinking it was something about my grandmother, who is in the hospital.
It was someone calling on regards to the US Treasury. They said they were offering me a grant of $7000.00 US because I have no criminal record, have paid my bills, and I haven't filed for bankruptcy, and only about 1500 people a year get selected. Curious, I said I was interested, because $7000 would really help me get back into college.
I was wondering how they got my cell phone number, but I let it go for now.
He went on to say I could look him up at www.usagovernmentgrants.org, and gave me an address as well. I really thought it sounded fishy at this point. He started to ask what I'd do with the money, then said it was approved, but then asked me for a savings account number. When I asked if he could just send me a check, he got apprehensive, and said we could do it another way, like with a Walmart gift card.
At that point, I could tell it was a scam, but I didn't stop talking to him. I called him on his bullshit, but he had no other answer. I had to get back to work, so I told him to call me tomorrow, but I just want to know how I could get them back. | Scammers call me saying they could give me a huge lump sum of cash in my bank account, I start asking for details, they feed me bullshit, and now I want to get them back or at least get them reported. |
t3_ixjct | AskReddit | What is your strangest experience with a very religious person? | I don't want to hear about mean, hypocritical, or stupid religious people, just stories about your odd interactions with quirky zealots.
I'll start...
So, I was walking back home earlier tonight at about 1:30 AM after going out for a midnight snack when I see a small Jewish man standing at the end of his driveway. As I approached, he bade me good evening and I replied in kind. Then he asked if I could do him a favor. He said "It might sound strange, but would you lock my car for me?" He briefly mentioned something about the Sabbath and how he can't turn lights on or off ([reference] for those interested). I agreed and pulled the door handle open the door, hit the lock button, and shut the door as he directed.
He then asked me if I was up for a second favor. I said I was willing, so he led me inside his house and pointed out two switches (which controlled a couple ceiling fans) that he wanted me to turn off for him. My final task was to adjust his thermostat from 72 to 74. When I finished, he thanked me and said that he had been waiting outside for about an hour for someone to come along and help him. I wished him a good night and went on my way. | A Jewish man asked me to lock his car and enter his home to turn off a couple ceiling fans so he wouldn't be breaking the Sabbath by flipping a few switches.* |
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