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t3_4xj6ip | relationships | Me [22M] with my 19 [18F] 6months, she breaks up out of nowhere and I do not know how to deal with that. | .
I have been in an official relationship with her for about 4 months. Never not even once did I hear her complain about me or anything about our relationship. She is not one to talk a lot but one on one we had a lot of fun conversations. When I went to visit yesterday she asked me to go for a walk. We sat down and she started to cry. She told me she was feeling bad for the last couple of years and that she could not continue our relationship. Then she started to explain how most of life was just to much to deal with and how she had a "breakdown" the day before. I offered to help and got the reply "I do not think you can help you with this"
For me this comes out of nowhere and she never told me these issues. Is it wrong for me to feel that I should have been given a chance to help her with this? Should I have seen this coming? Could there be something she is not telling me a big part of this is the its not you its me speech. She said I could not have done anything to get a diffrent outcome. And that she loved our time together. I want to respect her bounderies.
Because I did not see it coming I do not know how to feel or how to respond she wants to stay friends and I have no idea what to do with this. | Gf/ex breaks up out of nowhere. Says its not you its me. How do I deal with this? |
t3_2hslag | relationships | Why did my 30[m] ex still message and keep in contact after I, 26 [f] sent him a nice parting note? | My ex is Italian. Me, American. We dated for about 2 years and broke up due to LDR and among money management issues. We have remained friends for 6 months now. He's overall a nice guy.
Both of us are seeing other people. If I don't return his text or email, he freaks out, telling me I am very important to him, the only person that's nice to him, etc. Me, on the other hand, starts getting a bit jealous when he sees other women. So I decided to send him a nice parting message. He's a very sensitive person so I have to be very gentle.
Part of the message is as follows :
"I think I am getting 'obsessed' with you. Please don't get angry or disappointed at what I say. I think it's best for me to disappear. Don't worry you have not done anything wrong. I need to set you free and I need to calm my mind. "
Well, after he read this, he still messaged me, and told me not to worry. And today he's back with more messages. Our communication so far has been neutral topics, though. I am just too afraid because of this, I cannot move on properly to a new relationship.
**bold | What should I do? He's shy and never really talks about his feelings for me. I am so confused. :-( |
t3_26vvaz | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 5 months, noticing some social media... irregularities | A few weeks ago I was on my boyfriend's FB wall to get his birth-date (I have a terrible memory for dates) and I noticed that in the little feed on the right side of the screen (that shows spotify listening, etc.) a pretty girl I don't know had posted something to his wall. I hovered over the feed update to see what it was, and it wasn't inappropriate per se, just a little flattering towards him. However, it didn't show up on his wall. At all. Although I could see in the feed that he and other friends had commented on it.
I suspected that he might have blocked me from seeing certain things on his wall, because I haven't seen any of his updates on FB (or Reddit, for that matter) for quite some time. I asked him about it, and he vehemently denied blocking me from anything. I assumed that maybe it was the girl's privacy settings. However, a week later, the whole thing is now showing up on his wall.
Is Facebook just being glitchy? Or is he doing something shady?
He also locked his Twitter account a few weeks after we started dating, which I thought was super sketch. He still tweets frequently. His reddit account and facebook account have very limited activity, even though he frequently posted on both before we were dating. | Can't tell if my boyfriend is micromanaging what I see on his social media sites or if Facebook is weird sometimes and I'm just being crazy. |
t3_g2wtf | AskReddit | How to you follow up a form application to a job? (usajobs, having trouble finding contact person) | Just was hoping for some advice -
I applied a couple of weeks ago for a job I really, really want through USAJOBS (federal staffing site). The application was mainly multiple choice questions, along with some very specific short answers and resume submission. Yesterday, I got a series of emails telling me I was eligible, then qualified, then that they had "referred your name to the selecting official(s) for consideration, and they will contact you if an interview is needed."
I am assuming a lot of people were moved on to this step, so I want to make myself stand out, and make sure they know how much I want the job. Mostly I just want to send a cover letter. The only contact info I can find on the site is the general info. I can't find any employees listed on linkedin or through google, although I'm going to keep searching.
So - should I send a cover letter to the general email address (actually - they don't even have an email address listed, just a form email... this is frustrating), or should I just assume everyone else is having the same issues and can't find contact info, and therefore won't be submitting a cover letter?
Or maybe I should just send an email asking who to contact to the general address? Or should I call? Is there some ingenious option I'm not thinking of? Should I just stop stressing out and leave it alone?
Also, there is a contact person listed on the application, but she just works for the staffing agency, and I already got through that part of the process, so I'm not sure there would be a use in emailing her?
Sorry, I'm just awful at this sort of thing. I'm going to keep searching for contact info, if I find it I will delete this. | Trying to figure out how best to follow up on a job that had a form application and no contact info on website. |
t3_1ap8o8 | relationships | I(F19) and my bf(M20) have differing views on what's appropriate. | We've been together a year and three months.
So a little background info, we met in college and the first few months were great no issues we enjoyed each other's company, all cats and unicorns.
Fastforward to last October, he drops a bombshell on me telling me that he had sex with another girl from his work back in Jan, the guilt was getting to him and he finally told me. Well like an idiot I forgave him since (to my knowledge) it was one time.
Well now obviously I don't trust him 100%. He went home yesterday (his parents live about 1 and a half hours from where we live) and I find out he's spending time with a female friend ALL day today. A girl who has just broken up with her boyfriend.
So it's raising a couple red flags for me even though he thinks there is nothing wrong. I don't like him hanging out with other girls like that he doesn't think it's an issue and it seems like he doesn't care what I'm feeling.
So Reddit do you think I'm over-reacting or do I have a valid point? Should I break up him? Do I calm down and trust him again?
Thanks in advance for the comments and answers. | Boyfriend cheated on me once before and now we have differing views on who he should spend time with when it comes to other girls. Am I over-reacting? |
t3_2dv1gd | relationships | My girlfriend [18 F] told me [19 M] that she touched another guys butt. Should I be concerned? | So the other day I picked my girlfriend from school and she started to tell me how her day was. Well one of the stories was about how she touched this guys (who's a friend but also an ex) butt at school.
But me being a "sensitive guy" it really hurt me hearing this, it pretty much put me in a depressing mood all day. So I brought it a up few days later saying that it really hurt me and that if I touched another girls butt she would be mad. She replied saying yeah she would be mad, but she doesn't touch people's butt to be sexual but because it's funny seeing their reaction. Even though this is probably true. This wasn't the response I was hoping for. I was hoping for a some kind of apology. So hearing that response really got to me...
Also I should mention that she does this to other guys that she's "friendzoned" and she also does it to her girl friends.
Just making sure this isn't a bad sign to our relationship that may end up hurting me in the future. I trust this girl with all of my heart and know she isn't the type of girl who would cheat. But this really got to me so I came here looking for advice to maybe address how I feel about this to her. I don't want to come off as an overly jealous guy and upset her, upsetting her makes me feel completely awful. She's my first love so I'm inexperienced on how to handle these type of things.
Those wondering if the relationship is boring or bad. No our relationship is great! I love this girl, and I haven't been this happy since I was a child, and she always tells me that I make her extremely happy and she wouldn't want anyone else. We talk about the future together (college, jobs, even houses sometimes). We share many thing in common, gaming, anime, books, movies, and many nerdy subjects. We don't have any "major" fights just silly arguments and we always have a smile when we're together. | Girlfriend touched ex's butt, should I be concerned about this or am I just overreacting because it's her ex? |
t3_2vvqz8 | relationships | Wife [30F] refuses to admit that she cheated on me [32M] and says that her child is actually mine. | I met my wife in graduate school, and we have been together for 8 years, married for 5 years. For the majority of our relationship, I was under the impression that we were very happy together. About 4 years ago, she told me that she was pregnant and I was elated because I have always wanted to be a father. It was obviously not planned, but we did not really worry too much about contraceptives because having kids has always been on the mind between the two of us. I make more than enough money to sustain ourselves, and we could definitely provide for our child. When my wife gave birth to our first daughter, and I held her in my arms for the first time, I was the happiest man in the world. I gave all the love in the world to her, and I wanted to do the best to be the best father ever.
Fast forward to about a month ago, I was told by our family physician that she might be color blind. We looked into seeking out the advice of an ophthalmologist to confirm this, and it was true. I was absolutely shocked because my family has absolutely no history of colorblindness. I asked my wife if she had any history of it, and she told me that her brother and mother both have red-green colorblindness. I am under the impression that my daughter isn't truly my daughter, and my wife refuses to let me take her to receive a blood test. She even accused me of not having any faith in her. I am a mess right now, and I do not really know what to believe anymore. | Wife has a history of colorblindness in her family, but I do not. We had a daughter with colorblindness, and I refuse to believe that she is my daughter. |
t3_1qq78c | legaladvice | Ex-stepfather taking advantage of my mentally ill mom please help | Michigan, USA
Hi Reddit-
my mom suffers from very serious mental illness and went through a divorce in Nevada about 5 years ago and now resides in Michigan. She has her own apartment and my grandfather pays her bills because she is not able to work. Her now ex-husband has refused to pay his court ordered spousal support and somehow escaped having to support my mom in her health issues as she got no health coverage from the divorce. They were married for 25 years, he worked making $100,000 a year as city manager for much of that time. She worked to raise us kids and has virtually no work experience and also has health problems in addition to her mental health problems.
If you arn't raging by now here is the real kicker- he has somehow in the last couple of days drafted up some documents for my mom to sign that will waive his responsibility to ever have to pay her any money for the rest of her life and has convinced her that this is somehow a good idea because she will be more eligible for state welfare programs.
This is all very stressful for me because this guy is a true scumbag steve stepdad to the max and he is ruining my poor mother's life and she can't defend herself due to her illness. her thoughts arn't even organized enough to make simple phone calls much less deal with the incredibly complex level of manipulation by this man.
If you could offer any legal advice for me as her son I would truly appreciate it. I live in Chicago but want to try to help her in any way that I can. I love my mom. | mentally ill mother's ex refusing to pay spousal support for years - how do we make the courts make him pay? |
t3_1887tn | dating_advice | I [22/F] am feeling conflicted about my very new relationship with [29/M]... | I'm having a hard time talking about this to anyone IRL, so I thought I'd try here.
Him and I just met two weeks ago and really hit it off. We have similar interests and have a great time together. Last weekend we went out for drinks with some of his friends and some of my friends, everything was great. Then we all got a bit too drunk and I ended up agreeing to be his girlfriend after only knowing him for a week. Now he's talking about taking me somewhere with him for a weekend (I don't know much details about this, but he wanted to know if I had any free weekends to go somewhere or something) and I feel like everything is moving fast... and I don't even know if I WANT this relationship at all. When I'm with him, I really like him, but when I'm on my own I keep thinking about how I'd be totally fine with not ever seeing him again and my life would just go back to the way it was (which I was completely happy with and wasn't even looking for a relationship, just having fun). I also starting doing things to avoid him (like going out of town for a couple days).
I feel like I would be a horrible person to break it off so soon, but I don't want to lead him on, which is what I feel like I might be doing. So what should I do? Stick it out for a little bit to see if I change my mind? Should I tell him? I need help. I really don't want to hurt him, but I honestly miss being alone. :( | Started dating a guy I feel I hardly know and agreed to be his girlfriend... now I don't know how I feel about him anymore after just a short amount of time. What do I do? |
t3_q6ffv | AskReddit | Reddit: I'm at a career crossroads, so to speak. | I'm going to try and make this as concise as possible but essentially I just need some slight guidance.
I am currently in my last semester at post-secondary taking a radio broadcasting program (which I love) and as part of our final requirement for graduating we must conduct a month long internship of our choosing. It doesn't have to be in radio necessarily as long as it still utilizes the skills we've come to learn over the years.
Going into the program I always knew I wanted to more so get into sound design for visual media (specifically video games which I love EVEN more) but the tuition costs on some of the schools out here, and in general, ushered me away. I chose radio because I would be able to learn a decent set of skills that could transfer into sound design, specifically production, on top of learning some marketing, accounting, sales, and in general, a more variety set of skills.
I'm not upset on my choice in school but more at a crossroads as to what to do with my internship, and possibly after that is completed. I had a slight in at a video game developer out where I live to hopefully get an internship with their sound design department but that unfortunately fell through which absolutely devastated me. I was able to rebound and manage to snag an internship at a radio station instead and I have no doubts it will be a good learning experience, but in the end, it's not what I want to do. Since the initial developer internship fell through I have applied to roughly 9 other companies in the area with no response even in the slightest. In fact it seems increasingly difficult to get any to even acknowledge my existence. It seems like having an "in" is the only way to go.
Essentially I'm left at a crossroads because I feel that if I don't get an internship doing some I know I'll love doing...than I'll have no progress, or chance, to achieve what I truly want in life.
What do? | Radio Broadcasting student. Want to get into sound design for video games, lost potential internship at a developer, have one at a radio station. Don't feel like it will get me to my overall goal. |
t3_3tuht2 | tifu | TIFU by being unemployed for 5 months | This didn't happen today, it happened on 6 days ago. So a little background, I lost my job, and until this week had been unemployed for a little over 5 months. Unfortunately, I am a lot like the stereotypical reddit guy, in that I am kind of awkward, somewhat overweight, and spend all of my free time either playing video games, or on reddit.
Since I haven't had a job for a long time, basically whenever I haven't been applying/interviewing for jobs, I've been sitting around my apartment by myself (I don't have a gf, and my friends are of course working all day, and I don't have much money to spend doing things). I explain all of this, because I have developed a habit of letting thunderous farts out in the privacy of my own home. I'll just be sitting around playing video games, and I'll let one rip without really thinking about it at all.
Now this is where the FU comes into play. Luckily I got hired at a pretty good company (I work in real estate) and Monday was my first day at my new job. Since it was my first day on the job, I didn't have much to do (they mostly had me watch training videos on the various software the company uses), and I let my mind wander into my own little world. Clearly not thinking about it, I suddenly pushed out an EXTREMELY loud fart. Everyone around me hears it, it smells like a decaying carcass, and I instantly turn beet red. Everyone stared at me, and I heard one woman say, "oh my god." There's really no good explanation for what happened, so I spent the rest of the week trying to act normal and pretend it never happened. No one has mentioned it, but of course they all know, and I can only imagine what they think of me. It will be very difficult to erase everyone's first impression of me. | Had been living the care-free bachelor life, and it was all fun and games until I accidentally let a giant fart rip my first day on a new job. |
t3_1ttpjq | Advice | This seems like a bit much but I need to do business with a Nazi... help please? My time is limited | I need to deal with a radical Christian Neo-Nazi through Skype today. I'm already a bit late. I know this guy has a strong hatred for non-Christians and homosexuals. As well as different races. Well... that's the hard part, he doesn't know I'm slavic, gay, transgender (FtM), autistic (in which Nazis are against people with mental disabilities, right?), and atheistic. That seems like a lot, I think.
I guess I can tell him I don't have a camera and I don't have a microphone (I still sound like a female). Those are both lies. If I leave my photo on Skype blank, he will think I've made a fake account, yeah? Anyway I set up an alias with a German last name, so I think that part is fine.
I'm so scared of this guy. Please someone help, I only got today to do this. It's so unrealistic, I know. I want to talk to this guy. I don't want to make him angry or something by revealing my ancestry or others.
Thanks for reading. | I'm a trans, gay, disabled, slavic atheist and I need to skype with a Nazi. What should I do? Anything I should be aware of? |
t3_2t7tpc | Advice | Should I change my career? | I'm a musician and have been studying since five years ago. Graduated from high school in 2013.
I live in a country where economy is collapsing and every day is getting worse. My family economic status is not good at all and I don't see myself having a good job here, so I decided to study abroad. In that way I could then find a job somewhere outside, since the diploma I get here is worth almost nothing (not that is not worth it, but because of bureaucratic reasons) and I don't want to have to work in the kind of jobs illegal immigrants do.
The only place I could go is Germany since their universities are free, but the competition is atrocious. So the only way I see myself being admitted in one of these universities is changing my career path (I'm still going to be within the music branch, but with a different instrument) since I'm pretty sure in my current instrument I'm probably not going to make it.
I love what I do. I really fucking do. But I don't want to live a miserable life. The other thing I would do is not awful, but maybe not my passion.
I'm scared. This would be the biggest decision I've made to this day. Maybe for you reading it may sound like a obvious choice, but I'm terrified. | My country is borderline bankruptcy. The only way to succed in life is studying abroad, but for that I would have to change my career. |
t3_4x6ok0 | relationships | I (26F) am visiting my long distance girlfriend (24F) and her apartment is so messy I can't stand it | (Btw, I've never posted to Reddit before and I'm using the app, and I can't figure out how to tag it or add proper "flair"? Apologies)
My girlfriend and I met in college, but didn't start dating then. We liked each other but didn't act on our feelings, and she actually transferred away. We reconnected over Skype a few years later and started dating, but she lives across the country. We've been "together" just under a year without seeing each other in person. I'm visiting her this week and it's the first time I've seen her in almost 6 years.
Her apartment is dirty. Not "call the health department" dirty but past "normal young adult messy" levels. I'm by no means a neat freak but this is so much worse than my apartment. There's dirt, cat litter, hair on the floor. Everything feels gross. Food gets left out. Worst of all, I've found several fleas on my body.
I'm miserable. I can't relax and I feel sick to my stomach. I only feel ok when we leave the house. We haven't had sex; I don't think either of us is ready but I also can't imagine relaxing enough to have sex when I feel like this.
Friends have suggested offering to clean or help clean, but this level of mess is so far beyond what I'm able to handle. It's a huge project and this is supposed to be a romantic relaxing vacation. I don't want to rock the boat so I've just been pretending I'm ok but I don't know if I can keep it up. What do I do? I just got here and I already want to leave. Its so bad I'm considering breaking up with her. | my girlfriend's house is so dirty that I'm miserable and can't relax, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_18i5w8 | relationship_advice | Not sure if this is the right place to ask about friendships but here I go | So I'm a guy (17) and she's the same age. Anywho I'm completely fine with being this girls friend because I'm not really looking for a relationship. But me and her (lets call her ruby) have been getting to know each other over time, like opening up to each other, telling each others problems and true feelings about things. Recently though, ruby has been acting ....shy around me and she's been sorta avoiding me too. Not to mention sometimes we make some pretty awkward eye contact and then she turns away and go does something else. Or the fact that she's completely fine with her friends but when it comes to me it's all super shy mode. What should I do? And what does this mean? | girl that i'm friends with is shy around me and seems to be avoiding me. When we just want to be friends. |
t3_1gavj1 | pettyrevenge | You decide to be mean at the check-out? Guess who's not enjoying their chocolate delight tonight. | I was at BeanMart, buying some hamster food as I had just ran out when I entered the line of "the Bean", I call her.
It was a woman checking out with a plethora of beans, *so* *many* *beans*, and a lone KitKat bar.
Now, the Bean was being extremely bitchy to the cashier, and was slinging insults, such as, "Lazy", "Incompetent," and my favorite, "A monkey could do a better than you are."
So, naturally, the cashier endured it and bagged her beans and her KitKat bar in different bags. As the Bean stalked off, beans in hand, I noticed something extraordinary.
She had forgotten her KitKat bar.
And so, as I struck up a conversation with the cashier, I waited until the Bean was completely out of sight until I said,
"That lady forgot her KitKat bar."
The cashier looked at me, and smiled. As we parted, I bid her a good night, and I went on with my night. | Lady was mean to cashier and forgot her chocolate bar, I don't say anything until she is out of sight. |
t3_1jx50l | AskReddit | American public school teachers of reddit, how is this possible? A 17 year old "B" student doesn't know what the Cold War was. | I was born in the early 80's, so I am not going to try to understand what it was like to live under the threat of M.A.D. (Mutually Assured Destruction). I do remember my dad calling my brother and I into the living room, pointing to the tv, and trying to tell us what it meant when the people on tv were tearing down a wall. As I have gotten older I have come to understand what a significant impact the Cold War has had on the world. I can not begin to list the countries that are still paying the price for that "conflict", and come to think of it I don't think I can list one country that hasn't been impacted. To get back to my question, how is it possible that a public school student has no idea about the Cold War beyond "Russia" (note not U.S.S.R.) and the US were not friendly. What kind of a failure is the public school system if this is possible? I am not saying that teachers aren't doing their job, I am just curious how something like this gets left out of a high school curriculum. Sorry for the wall of text. | How is it that a decent student has no idea about the impact of the Cold War on the world? What has gone wrong with the US public school system? |
t3_1nhoqj | relationships | Longer-distance relationship. I'd [23 M] like her [22 F] to let me know how she is on her own, without me asking every time like it's a police questioning. We're together for more than a year and right now and this problem is destroying the relationship. | I always thought this was just her being inexperienced in relationships. She told me herself she's not used to this since she had bunch of boyfriends but nothing really longer than a few months. I didn't see it as a problem, at that point, but maybe I was wrong.
Hard to express what I feel right know. She is very lovely, her family nice, we understand each other. It's just that every time I want to know about her, what's she's doing, how she is etc. I need to ask her specifically and almost every time I get a short answer that kills the conversation. She never starts on her own.
Another thing is that she never say anything even remotely romantic. I don't want her to call me sugar all day long, but occasional sweet talk would be really nice. We are together for more than a year, we have great memories together but I feel less and less loved.
I brought up the issue to her many times, but she just ignored it, saying that yes, she loves me or that I want to know too much. Yesterday I insisted on finally getting over this argument a told her exactly how I feel. She told me she is from a different family where they do things differently than my family. ??? Okay, how does this have anything to do with our families?
How can I make her understand that I really don't feel loved and this is not just about knowing when the other half is out with friends? (We are both in college, ca 2 hours away from each other.) Or am I just too clingy and incompatible and this relationships is beyond the point of salvaging? | Together for over a year. She is very passive about everything. I don't feel loved anymore. We are at the verge of breaking up. |
t3_3aa4cl | relationships | Me [25 M] with my date [25F] less than a month, try to find 3rd date that is equidistant. Boston, MA | Overview of our dating so far:
*We have been dating for 3 weeks.
*We started talking about a month ago.
*We are both are being exclusive.
*I live in North of Lowell, MA. They live South of Boston.
*Previously we walked around Boston and got dinner, another time we went to a fair and got lunch.
*Things appear to be moving at a slow enough pace that I think we are both fine.
Both dates, one of us had a long drive and the other had a relatively short one. We both agree we need to find some place in the middle to have our second date.
I'm not from the area so I am looking for advice for some place that is an equal drive time for both of us. | We live about 1.5hrs away from each other. Looking for some place to meet up in between Lowell and Boston for 3rd date. |
t3_h6xii | AskReddit | I need some ideas on how to help my parents' tutoring/testprep school last in this economy-any help would be appreciated. | My parents together have run a small tutoring school in a suburban area of NY for about 15 years. Good times were had in early times and we were doing quite well. Now not so much-to the point that I'm actually a little worried for us. My parents actually sat me down and told me that they might need to borrow some money in the near future (I'm recently graduated) - something which tells me the situation is dire as they would usually be much too proud to ask for such a favor.
I got my inspiration for this post from another Reddit post (I can't find which one, but it was about a dad's storage company).
I've set up a better looking website for them. I've encouraged a Twitter/Facebook presence. But there's only so much I can do. Any ideas?
The main problem is that Kaplan and Princeton Review run the whole tutoring/testprep biz here and can afford to charge much lower rates than we can to students. They'll say, charge $250 for a SAT course, and we, being much smaller and having higher rent and the such, could only compete as low as around $500-600, or we'd start hitting heavy losses. These are just numbers off the top of my head but it's something like that. We also just don't have the brand value, parents think of SAT Tutoring, and think of only Kaplan and Princeton review.
Any ideas would be much appreciated. Thank you. | my parents' local testprep school is getting spanked by national brands like Kaplan and Princeton Review, while our rent keeps getting higher and our student base smaller. |
t3_4yrwhj | running | Throwing up repeatedly after long runs | Hey fellow runners.
I'm currently training for the Chicago Marathon-my first marathon-and for the most part my training has been going great. However, I've started to develop a really nasty trend I'm hoping I can get some advice on.
For the past three weekends, I've really struggled on my long runs. I've done up to 15 miles with no trouble, but three weeks ago, after a 13 miler, I came home and got sick, repeatedly for about two hours. I chalked it up to heat, but last weekend I tried for 17, and totally fell apart. Threw up at the 12 and 14 mile marks, had to walk the last two miles, and continued to get sick when I got home.
On both of those, I was stopping at drinking fountains, and probably taking in too much water at once.
Today, I struggled through 18 miles-had to take a couple of breaks-but I carried water with me and tried to be smarter about how much I drank at a time. Everything seemed okay, but not long after I got back, I started getting sick, and continued to do so for another two hours.
I don't eat much before I run, and while I'm going through these spells, I try to just sip water, but can't keep anything down. Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this from happening? It's really crushing my confidence. | Recently started getting sick multiple times over the course of a few hours following long runs (13, 17, and 18 miles, respectively) |
t3_129at0 | tifu | TIFU by unintentionally quitting my job | So the situation isn't resolved and I'm feeling anxious about it, so I thought I'd share how badly I fucked myself over. Rewind to a couple days ago, Saturday...
I opened for my first job from 5am-10am, but they asked me to stay later because they needed help. I said, "sure, I don't have my other job today!" Well, I was wrong. While I was there, I was expected at my other job (where I am paid better and receive awesome benefits...). I checked my voicemail at 1pm to hear a curious reminder "It's 10am and you were supposed to be in at 9am, wondering if you're gonna make it in today..." FUCK! That's my third strike! I'm in for it! I'm totally fired. God damn it. I fucked up. I try and decide what to do, but there's a couple parties I needed to get ready to attend. Oh well, I'll just have to apologize when I'm next scheduled and let what's bound to happen... happen. I'm next scheduled to work Monday...
Wrong.
I have a nice time at these parties, the latter of which leads to some drinking. I still manage to sleep a good 8 hours and wake up at 9:30am on what I assumed was my day off. I check my phone and get a voicemail from another person at work reminding me I was supposed to be in at 8am. God damn it. I thought I couldn't fuck myself over anymore than I already had, but I was wrong. I even got a Facebook message asking if I was okay...
I fucked up so bad. I'm scheduled for tomorrow right after my other job. I guess I just didn't write down when I worked this weekend yet managed to write down that I work tomorrow? Fuuuuck I don't really know how to approach this, it's so unlike me to have this happen. They probably think I'm in the hospital or dead or something! | I wasn't aware I was scheduled... two days in a row. I have to go in tomorrow and face the wrath of being fired for the first time. |
t3_3geait | tifu | TIFU by attempting to turn on the bathroom fan without getting off the toilet. | So after eating a meal from taco bell like many I had to use the toilet shortly after. I like to have the bathroom fan on while I do my business for various reasons, but since I was in a rush I forgot to turn it on.
My bathroom is very narrow (about 3 or so feet across, and excluding the tub 8 feet long. This is a total guess from what I see right now) and the distance from the light and fan switches seemed almost within reaching distance. So I decided to attempt to reach my arm to switch the fan on while trying to stay seated on the toilet the entire time.
As I finally managed to reach the switch my right leg twisted to the left, forcing me to lift from the seat slightly. Then I felt my muscle pull and tear. At first I thought it wouldn't be all that bad, just a pulled muscle. No biggy. As I went to sit back down in a comfortable position pain shot through my entire leg, causing me to yelp and fly up into the air. Which brought more pain as I fell to the ground grabbing my leg and yelling out every obscene phrase I could say in one breath.
After about 20 seconds I managed to stumble to my feet, trying not to apply any weight to my right leg in fear more pain would occur. You could say my reaction was a little over exaggerated, but I've never experienced that much pain with a torn muscle and it caught me off guard. | Tried to reach to turn on the bathroom fan while staying seated on the toilet, ended up pulling a muscle and falling to the floor. |
t3_122ql1 | AskReddit | I got taken advantage of at a local Dairy Queen today. Reddit, When have you done something nice but end up getting scammed? | So i was at a dairy queen in my area with my cousin and a seemingly homeless man walked up and asked if i could spare him an ice cream. He had the typical homeless attire of cans for deposit and change in his hand. Being the nice person i am, I happily bought him an ice cream. It would have been different if he asked for cash or something, but if i got him an ice cream he couldn't buy anything else with it. So i got him his ice cream and he seemed very happy which in turn made me feel happy as well.
So then the girl working at the DQ comes to my car and asks me how my ice cream was. I thought it was some clever way to pick me up or something. She proceeds to tell me that this man comes almost every night and bums blizzards off of people and that he is not homeless at all.
At this point i was like whatever, I hope that if I was in this predicament, someone would spare a few bucks to help me out. In the end i was mad at the man but happy at who i was. I was willing to help an individual in need instead of brushing him off and leaving. And that makes me a better person. | I bought a homeless man an ice cream at an ice cream store and ended up getting scammed by the fake homeless man who played me like a **fool**. |
t3_1gz0oe | relationships | My (25M) wife (26F) has a stressful week ahead. What can I do to make her feel better? | Some back story: My wife and I have been married for two months. We became friends when we were 16, went to the same college, and eventually became involved with one another in 2011 when I started working with her. Last fall, she began her online Graduate program, and it has been a lot of work for her. She took the spring semester off because we were getting ready for our wedding, and is taking her third class which will actually overlap with her fourth class beginning today.
Now, my wife gets stressed out easily and is not very good at handling said stress. This is going to be a difficult week for her as she has deadlines for two classes now (on top of working 40 hours). She also has major procrastination issues, but I don't think that will be an issue this week since one of the assignments has deadlines throughout the week.
Basically, I want to help her out however I can. She's going to be extremely stressed out and I would like some ideas about how to ease her work + overlapping classes suffering. Just little things I can do that might make her feel better and take her mind off of her work (not literally take her away from the work, just help her think it's not as bad as she thinks it is).
I am definitely going to buy her some flowers today, as she likes it when I surprise her with those, but I would like to do something for her every day this week.
Any ideas? | – My wife has a lot of school work to do this week on top of working 40 hours, what are some things I can do to make her feel better and not stress out too much this week? |
t3_3fan1b | relationships | [Relationships] My [17 f] bf [17 m] is going through a tough time with his family and I need help being there for him. | Context: A few months ago his friends died in a car accident. It hit him hard. In this situation, he picked me up and I was able to comfort him by holding him and letting him cry.
Fourth of July weekend, he ignored me, then told me we might break up. Eventually we got together and talked about what happened. Turns out he lied about where he was, and lied about drinking. No girls though. He said he thought I get mad too easily. But when discussing it, he realized that I haven't done anything, and we agreed to work on things.
Now, his grandpa has terminal neck cancer. He's living with my boyfriend and his family and is dying before his eyes and it's really hard on him.
My problem is that since he's upset, he doesn't want to show any affection, which I've needed extra of since the 4th of July weekend. I understand, but I still get worried. And this time, he wants alone time instead of me being there with him.
So, other than not texting and calling him all the time, what can I do to be there for him and keep my sanity in the process?
[ | ] Bf's needs in hard times worry me, how can I be there and get over his lack of affection for the time being? |
t3_nx0pi | self | Family Cat's Health Problems, "I don't spend money on a cat" | So my family owns a cat, he is by far the best cat I've ever met in my life (and I'm not just saying that) but he has a cough, and he has ever since I've met him. I thought he had asthma or something but his cough has been progressively been getting worse, and I've asked my dad about it (the owner of the cat), trying to tell him of his problem. At first he told me that Diego (the cat's name) has been to the vet and is fine, but I just found out this has all been a farce when I called the vet and asked what it sounded like, they said it would take 20 $ for a checkup and 16$ for an xray and an uncertain amount after that for the fix-when I told my dad he finally said he would never spend any money on a cat, I don't know how he justifies this and I don't have the kind of money that could solve this problem. I'm just tired of seeing the animal suffering. | Family cat has a cough, (father) owner is an asshole and doesn't care enough to fix the problem. I am a college student, I cannot afford to fix the problem. |
t3_4wuiu2 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my crush [ 26F] of 3 weeks, is this move creepy? | So there is this girl I really like, smitten actually. I met her at a party and we traded instagram. I didn't ask for her number, at the time because I didn't know if the guy who was hanging out with her was her boyfriend and since her friend is good friends with my buddy who invited me there I didn't want to potentially be awkward.
So as you can imagine I overthink crap, but managed to be pretty cool I think and we seemed to hit it off. She's artistic and into abstract art and architecture. But based on her always liking my food pics she also really likes food. So I want to ask her out via instagram messenger to either a food truck event or this abstract architecture event going on this month. Which one would be more appropriate to invite her too and is contacting a woman on instagram to ask her out creepy? | Crush and I follow each other on instagram want to make a move soon, is it creepy to contact her via instagram? And is it better to go to museum or food truck collective for a first time meet-up? |
t3_4kjtzo | relationships | Me [24M] recently found out girlfriend [19F] got into a new relationship without breaking up | A friend of mine got wanted to look up my then girlfriend on Facebook and found a relationship post of her and another guy (hidden from me) on her timeline. A few hours later, I confronted her over the phone. She played dumb when I asked about the other guy and deleted the post on her wall mid-conversation. I had screenshots of it but at that point I was dumbfounded that she would give me that response. Since she chose to play dumb, I realized the conversation would go nowhere so I hung up.
Prior to this, our relationship fell into a rather inactive state. I had not seen her in the last couple of months. There's some more to this, but to make this shorter, let's just say I thought she was really stressed out by school and was either studying or wanted to be alone.
My current dilemma is that I feel that I should tell the guy she cheated on me with that she was in a relationship when they got together. If I were in his position, I think I would want to know. I have gone to close friends asking for advice about the general situation and half say that telling him is good because they would also want to know in his situation. Others say that I should just move on. Honestly, at first I wanted to tell him because it made me feel righteous. But then I cooled down and while I still feel like it's the right thing to do, I am also having second thoughts. While my ex might have been terrible with me (at the end), it might not go that way for the new guy so I do not really want to sabotage them. I am also feeling some cowardice now. I did not expect this at all even after considering it as a possibility and ruling it out so I also feel that there's a chance she might try to get back at me somehow if I say something. | Found out ex was leading me on and got into a relationship with another guy. Should I tell the new guy that she did not break up with me when they got together? |
t3_3s4h1h | relationships | Me [27F] with my partner [32M] 2 years, have differing drives apparently? | So, I've been with my guy for almost two years. In the beginning it was....well like any new relationship I suppose. He was very interested and overtly affectionate.
In the past, say 6 months or so, we've gone from super affectionate, to barely even acknowledging I'm alive.
So say, he used to come to bed when I was tired, because well....sex. Now he'll just stay up when I'm looking to go to bed, even though I'm trying to initiate. I'd say three days out of the week, he'll fall asleep on the couch whilst playing video games as opposed to come to bed (we don't live together, btw. So he passes out on my couch doing this) We've gone from sex at least twice a day to maybe a quickie once a week?
I've tried talking to him about this a few times, and he just shrugs it off and claims we just have different drives and that even if he had sex with me three times a day, I'd want four. I disagree and find it to be cold and dismissive and it's making me feel really down.
This whole thing has got me pretty damn down actually, to the point I've started back up on antidepressants. I've started hitting the gym hard and really focusing on my diet, hoping it will lift me out of the schlump and that maybe losing a little weight will reignite his interest.
Theoretically he is everything I want. He's cute, smart, funny and incredibly kind, but he seems to have almost no physical interest in me, outside of having sex with me once a week. This is not enough for me.
In addition to all of this weirdness, about two weeks ago he asked me to move in with him. What the actual fuck?
This is doing my head in. Can anyone out there offer some advice? What do I do? Is our relationship doomed? | Boyfriend seems outwardly, to have lost interest, but is asking me to move in with him. What the actual fuck? |
t3_3sjfd8 | relationship_advice | Gf [25F] has a new job that is stressing her out, she's taking it out on me [28M] | Girlfriend of about six months landed her dream job as an elementary school teacher after coming out of grad school. Things had been really great up until that point. We couldn't get enough of each other.
Now that she has started this job, she is incredibly stressed. She has been teaching for two months now, and I've tried to be nothing but supportive. She has days where she is emotional and overwhelmed, I just try to be there for her to talk to when she needs it.
More recently though, she has started to actually lash out at me for seemingly no reason. I'll offer suggestions to de-stress or to help with the work load, or offer to reschedule our plans if she needs time to recharge, but there have been a few instances where things like that will set her off and she actually yells at me. It's really unsettling because I try to be nothing but understanding and supportive, but she takes it the wrong way completely and starts either crying or yelling out of nowhere.
I 100% understand that she is under a lot of stress, I have read article after article about first year teaching and how overwhelming it can be. But at the same time, I feel so unappreciated. The fact that she is willing to take her stress out on me like that is really bothersome.
I brought up my concerns last night and her response was that "she didn't know if this would work out" and that "she didn't like feeling like she was a bad girlfriend". Essentially this just made me feel like shit for even telling her how I felt. I feel like she is not seeing the amount of effort I'm putting into being understanding.
We don't talk nearly as much as we used to. Most weekdays well talk on the phone for five minutes, then she's back to lesson planning. I know she has a lot to do, but I hate feeling like an afterthought. | girlfriend is overwhelmed by her new job. I really like a lot about this girl. I understand she is under a lot of stress, but taking it out on me is not ok. How do I approach the situation? |
t3_240mgo | relationships | Me [22 M] with my "friend" [21 F] of two years, had an abortion but I'm not supposed to know until tomorrow. | I'll try to concicsely explain our relationship.
At first we were just friends, but as we got closer, we both kind of just mutually understood that we liked each other and were compatible, but since she had/still has a boyfriend when we realized, we never acted on our feelings. We keep it appropriate, but we get mistaken for a couple a lot when we go out.
Now for the problem.
First of all, I know it's not mine, as I've never made her cheat on him.
It's that I'm not actually supposed to know. The reason I know is a long story, but someone told me something they weren't supposed to, and I was able to connect dots with near certainty because I think too much for my own good. Then the [21 F] "friend" called today and said she needed to tell me something in private tomorrow.
How am I supposed to react/comfort her tomorrow? Why is she telling me and not her boyfriend? | Mutually attracted girl is telling me tomorrow that she had an abortion that wasn't mine, but I'm not supposed to know. How am I supposed to comfort her/react? |
t3_198vqv | relationships | I [21m] fight with my girlfriend of two years [21f] about petty things constantly | We fight for a week or so at a time, then have a peacetime of about two weeks, then we fight about the same old things. Mainly it is about how I get upset she doesn't put the kind of effort that I do into our relationship. However lately she starts most of the fights about extremely petty things. Ex: How I snapchat other girls who I've been friends with for a long time. I don't get angry when she hangs out with other guys. More or less we were happy until about the year and three month mark then we've been fighting this way ever since. She brings up something petty then I get angry and she says I don't appreciate what she is upset about and then it turns into a huge broad argument about our relationship as a whole. I just feel like there are so many deep rooted unsolvable issues we have. I always told myself as long as we were happy 4 out of the 7 days of the week, it was OK. I love her, but this is really getting to me. I feel like I shouldn't be this unhappy at this age. She is so petty and I try to be receptive but I can't anymore because the fights are becoming so frequent and intense. She refuses to apologize for days then suddenly she realizes she was wrong and we are at peace then the cycle begins all over again. I want to break-up but I know I will be so devastated. How can I fix this, it is making my life a living hell between college and two jobs? | We fight about petty things which become big fights about broad unresolvable issues we've had in the past and it won't stop |
t3_1ljcop | relationships | Me[26M] concerned that I might always be one relationship behind [23/f] | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
I am 3.5 months into a relationship with a very cool gal. Things are beginning to take on more serious tones and suddenly I am thinking about and longing for exes more often. Is this normal? Should I end this relationship now that I've found that I am carrying this baggage?
I have been fine with relationships coming and going in the past, but I want to transition towards dating someone... specifically working towards building a solid foundation so that marriage is an option. I am worried that I am sabotaging myself, or that if I am truly not over an ex (25f, we broke up 1.5 years ago, after dating 2 years) I could risk damaging this relationship and perhaps wasting this nice 23/f's time. | As your building a relationship with someone new, what does it mean to discover elements of you that aren't over your ex as you do that? Should you backout early in a relationship if you discover you aren't over an ex? |
t3_3jcktc | relationships | Me [22 M] and my [19 F] girlfriend argue all the time and its making me miserable. What do? | My GF and I have been together for almost 10 months, but all we've done these last few is argue. I'm a recent engineering grad and she's a junior in music Ed (same school), and we've had a good relationship up until recently. These last few months have been a cycle of "she calls me, argument she starts over something small (she has a ridiculously short temper), then I end up upset for days and she just walks it off like nothing happened. Plus, I always have to be the one to play peacemaker- I'm always the one who tries to piece things back together.
I'm getting pretty tired of it, and its starting to make looking for a full time job and working at my current internships difficult. However, I miss the days when we didn't argue all the time and were really close, and those days (2 months ago) don't seem so far in the past that its hopeless. Am I just deluding myself that things will get better and just end things today? Or should I try to make things work? | GF is hypersensitive about everything, starts arguments out of pretty much thin air. Its making me miserable, and I'm tired of working to keep it going. Do I end things? |
t3_4c736q | relationships | Me [22F] with my ex [28M] of one year, still texts me saying "I miss you." | I dated this guy for 5 months starting almost two years ago now. He had to move states for a new job and while we really liked each other, I was still in college and we didn't want to do long distance, so we amicably broke up. After a few months of agreed-upon radio silence, he came back to visit and we hooked up.
For the next 7 months, we were in a weird long distance quasi-relationship. It wasn't exclusive, although I saw other people and I don't believe he did. We would text or talk on the phone every day, and I went to visit him. I was thinking about moving to the city he lives in after graduating college so we could be together, but I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to make such a big decision based on this guy. I definitely had feelings for him but I couldn't bring myself to say I was in love.
So I graduated and decided not to move and we broke up because there was just no way we would be living in the same place in the foreseeable future. Once again, we didn't speak for a few months, then we started texting occasionally.
Now we send snapchats fairly often and have had a few text conversations, and he says that he misses me. I've said it back once (and it's true) but I've definitely moved on and don't see us ever getting back together. I want him to be happy and find someone new. I'm afraid that if I tell him not to say that to me, whatever strange friendship we have will be ruined. I want him in my life, but I don't want to lead him on.
He just snapped me with the caption "miss you :)" and I don't know what to do. | Ex boyfriend still says he misses me, I don't know if I should cut off contact so he can move on. |
t3_449a2h | askwomenadvice | (M21, F20) Just being friendly, or into me? | Met this girl in class, and I knew something about her seemed right. So i took a stab in the dark, asked her on a date to a place she tweeted about. She responds to me super happy saying yes and she was so excited. So early December we go on the date, things went really well. We seem to have great chemistry. Then about 2 weeks later, we went and got breakfast together on campus. Always playing with her hair, smiling, dressing real cute. Before winter break she told me she wanted to hangout and smoke together (potential to hook up here), I said definitely. Turns out she was super busy over break with work and other shit. I texted her a few times making advances, and still too busy always using sad face emojis though.. I took the hints, she wouldnt text me so, stopped texting her. 3 weeks go by, she texts me saying, "*nickname she calls me* I MISS YOU, i actually have time off now so we can do something!" I was really thrown off by this I thought we had just moved on but whatever. Then she says,"Come out with me to this bar thursday night!", but i couldn't for other reasons. So I tell her ok how about we get brunch together Sunday, and she says no, lets do dinner! So dinner it is I say. I like to think shes into me. | If I don't text a girl for 3 weeks and she finally texts me saying "I MISS YOU" and asks me out to get drinks, how should I take that(friendly/i kinda want you)? |
t3_c7cu0 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, how do -you- shop for food? | Hopefully my peers are all settled into, or getting settled into, their respective homes / apartments while they go to college away from home. The thing I've heard most about lately is how people really don't know how to shop for food. If you are like myself, you went with your mother / father / both to the market / supermarket / what have you as a child.
However, that all changes when you hit the 20-something mark and have to start doing your own shopping. Suddenly, it's not so easy. It's your money now. It's your diet. What now?
The best piece of advice I've received is to **make a list of recipes**. Following that, of course, is to **make a list of foods**! But obviously, there's a lot to that. What recipes? How many days are you providing for yourself? Etc., etc. It's all very disorienting in that store all by your lonesome. I've found that it gets much easier over time, but I certainly wished I had someone helping me out for those first couple trips to the store...
So, | Reddit, I ask you: What are *your* tips for shopping for food for yourself (or SO / children)? |
t3_kjozx | relationships | I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year while recovering from mental illness - what next? | I just ended my relationship with my boyfriend of a year (he's 21, I'm 20). He is the first person I've ever broken up with, because while I'm an extremely visceral and passionate person, I was feeling nothing towards him anymore other than affectionate, platonic love. I want to continue my recovery from severe depression and anxiety independently, and establish who I am as a well-rounded person, not just a college student.
What can I do to continue my journey of self growth? I have a job and take classes full time for psychology, but I want something more out of my newfound independence. I'm very shy and don't make friends easily due to social anxiety. I've been told that I'm quite attractive, but I have very low self esteem. What can I do with my time to make myself a stronger and happier without a relationship? | Just broke up with my boyfriend, I want to be independent and recover from mental illness, what can I do to be happy on my own? |
t3_4jxzzk | relationship_advice | My girlfriend(20) has completely lost interest in being intimate with me (m/23) and doesn't think it's a problem | My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now, met when she was 19, I was 22 and we've lived together for about a year of that. As of the last month and a half, she's completely lost interest in anything past kissing and hugging. When it comes to the bedroom and I try and initiate anything, she brushes it off or comes up with an excuse. I tried to sit down with her and talk about it, which resulted in her saying flat out that she just hasn't been in the mood lately and hasn't wanted to be intimate. Now, to throw a few variables out there, we did have a fight about this and some other things regarding communication in general about 3 weeks ago, and we both agreed to work on things, being intimate was one of them. She also just started a new job after a month between jobs and has been working a crazy schedule of anywhere from 30-40 hours, without a set shift because she's works at a restaurant. I know part of that could be it, and that were also tight on money because of the work change. I tried bringing it up again last night, just to see if there was anything different I could do or new things we could try, and her answers all revolved around "I don't know," and "I just haven't been in the mood, I don't know what to tell you or what to try" and "I don't want to talk about this, I don't like talking about this." she started to get angry about it, and doesn't think it's an issue, and shut down everything else I tried to ask about it. Now, I know sex isn't everything and when you're with someone for awhile, you break out of the honeymoon stage and you're not always as intimate as you once were, but it's come to a complete stop all together, and I don't know what else to try or how to approach things with her so that we actually make some progress on getting some of that intimacy back. | Girlfriend and I haven't been intimate for over a month and a half and she doesn't think it's a problem, even though I do and want to work on it. |
t3_rqh8y | relationships | Hubby said he'd lose a lot of respect for me if I became a stay at home mom. | We (both 24) have been married for a year and together for 4 years. I absolutely love him and we're happy together, but something came up when we were talking about our future.
We want to start a family - and soon. We're in a comfortable financial position and it just seems like it's the perfect time. So, we were talking about having kids. I said that I definitely want to be a SAHM/housewife type of deal. I know it's not the 60s anymore, but I know I'd enjoy that, it'd be good for the (hypothetical) kids, and it'd benefit him as well.
He said he'd lose a lot of respect for me if I was still a SAHM after they start school. My heart sank and I started to cry. I don't care what other people think of me, but he is the one person that I want to have a great opinion of me.
Typing this makes him seem like an asshole, but I'm not blaming this on him - THIS IS NOT EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION. I'm glad he told me. He's always totally truthful with me even if it isn't something I want to hear, and it's for the better. He said he'd love and support me even if I were a SAHM, but he would lose a lot of respect for me. I asked him why and he said he didn't know.
I don't know if he thinks it would mean I'm lazy, or I'm using him, or what. I explained why I wanted it, but he didn't change his mind. It could be from his childhood; his father worked 100 hours a week so his mother could stay at home drinking alcohol and doing drugs all day. But he knows that isn't me. | My husband said he'd lose a lot of respect for me if I became a SAHM. I want to be one - I think it's beneficial for everyone involved. What do I do? |
t3_3e0jgv | relationship_advice | Should I [M26] date my best friend [F23]? | I have been really good friends with a girl for a few years now who I am very fond of. We went to the same high school together, and hung out for a few summers in a row in between college semesters. I have a lot of respect for her, and always really enjoy our time together.
We do crazy stuff together like bungie jump and spontaneously travel. We have tons in common, like the sports we play and the things we enjoy doing, and both want to be teachers.
This is the part where I will probably come off sounding like an asshole. But, I figure full disclosure is best to get good advice. The problem is, I don't find her super attractive. I would definitely consider her to be pretty. But even my friends agree that everyone I have dated in the past has been much better looking.
I don't see that as a deal breaker at the moment. But, I am nervous that if I get into a long-term relationship with her and even possibly marriage, I might not find myself as physically attracted to her in the future. So, I guess it comes down to looks vs. personality. Is one better than the other or do you need a mix of both?
What are your thoughts? I know that she likes me, and would be willing to start a relationship. I don't want to have a relationship with her and risk losing the friendship if I end up not finding her attractive soon after. I appreciate anyone's answers. | My best friend has a 10/10 personality, but only 6/10 attractiveness. Should I try to date her? |
t3_3px1w0 | relationships | I [19 M] want to start a relationship with a girl from the internet [19 F] but I don't know if I should give up my anonymity | So a few months ago I met this really personable and intelligent girl over the internet. We've been talking almost everyday, at times she initiates the conversation first, we share a lot of the same views, she's apparently my age, and she claims that she doesn't live too far away from me.
We're anonymous, but not anonymous in a way. We definitely know each other's view points and where we stand at. But we don't know our races, where we live at specifically, or what schools we go to. I don't even know how she looks like (or at least how her face looks like). She seems like a legitimate person based off of her blogs and everything.
I think I have a pretty good chance with meeting her in person and actually starting a relationship with her, but I still don't know if I should give up my anonymity. I don't even know if she wants to give up her anonymity... I mean, she could just feel comfortable talking to me because we are anonymous.
How should I approach this situation? I really like her a lot and would love to chill with her in real life...especially if she doesn't live too far away from me. | I want to start a relationship in real life with a girl from the internet and I don't if we are ready to give up our anonymity completely. |
t3_54lvja | relationships | Me [30F] with my Boyfriend [29M] 3 months, still using dating website we met on | So I met my current boyfriend on a dating website and after a week of emailing then texting we met. He was really nice and we then went on date 2 a week later and kissed. He texts me good night every evening and good morning when he wakes up.
After we first slept together a month into our dating we decided we were in an exclusive relationship and I took my profile down. Since we have been intimate I feel like he doesn't want to talk as much anymore, I logged back into the dating site and saw he is still active and talks to girls because I asked my sister to message him.
I feel like im being used but when I confront him he flat out denies it. What do I do, he doesnt admit to it and he doesnt want to break up. He says he gets lots of messages and logs in to see them but never talks to anyone. I don't believe him but h doesnt want to let go. Am I being stupid and being taken for a ride. | Boyfriend won't delete his dating profile but denies logging on to talk to girls, I know he's lying, he doesn't want to break up. What do I do? |
t3_4htgzc | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend_ [23F] been together about 5 months, I dont know how to leave. | my girlfriend is an awesome girl that i know cares alot about me. she goes out of her way all the time and definitely does way more for me than i do for her. shes great very stable, epic work ethic and her own self which is awesome and so what i need.
but i just dont find myself really attracted to her. i make excuses not to see her and she just really is not a main priority to me like she should be and how other past girlfriends of mine have.
I dont know how to break it off because i know she cares for me alot but even she has noticed i think that i just am not really really into it. but of course im scared im going to be bored and lonely without her. how do i end it without making her feel bad. | i have a great girl that does everything awesome,just not attracted to her, but dont know how to end it without hurting her. |
t3_4d8iu3 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months. Shes using up all my time and I cant find a way to ask for a little more space and free time | I've been dating this girl for 6 months. I love her and care about her very much, and I want her to be happy more than anything. We attend different colleges but are able to see each other a few times pretty much every weekend, as we're only about 45 minutes apart.
However I feel like just about all my time is being used by her. Even on days we get to see each other, she always gets so sad and upset when we have to go and always tells me "skype me asap", even if I haven't seen my family all day and just want to talk to them for a while.
I've tried hard to balance friends and family and her, and while she doesnt get upset at me for spending time with them, she does get sad and says things like "go have fun... i'll be here... *sigh*".
I do love this girl, she's really great, dont get me wrong. She's just very attached, and wants to skype literally all day when we can't see each other. I just can't find any way to tell her that I need space, because she'll take it so personally and blame herself, and think I'm tired of her.
I just feel slightly stuck.. we have a great ability to communicate and never fight, but I sometimes am scared to tell her things like this because she'll blame herself and be sad, and I'll have to pick up the pieces, with the only way to cheer her up is me Skyping her for a few hours while I come up with excuses to my friends.
Thanks in advance. I just am not sure what to do. | Girlfriend is great and I love her, but is very attached and wants to Skype all the time, even if we see each other that day. |
t3_1ptr73 | jobs | Currently working in SF, want to move to Portland. Do I seek work and move when I'm hired, or move and start looking? | I currently have a good career in San Francisco at a unique software company I've been with for six years. It's time for a big life change, and I have family and friends in Portland, so I've decided I want to move there.
My general attitude has been that it's easier to find a job if I have a job, because it makes me a more attractive candidate. However, I'm afraid that companies in Portland may simply not respond because they see I live here, or that not being there to network will stack up against my chances.
I know these are basically excuses, but any general thoughts on how people go about finding work in a new city that they don't live in yet? | I live in SF and have a good job but want to move to Portland and get a new job there. What is the best strategy? |
t3_2c5xuf | relationships | Me [43 F] with my husband [32 M] of four years: Can someone tell me about stonewalling during an argument? | I am working on better conflict resolution with my husband. I have a history of shutting down during arguments with him, and I'm unsure if I'm committing some kind of conflict resolution crime.
It happens for different reasons. Sometimes I get really angry, and worry about saying something I will regret, and so I walk away until I can calm down. Other times, he will be yelling at me and saying irrational things - in this case, I will tell him we aren't in any emotional state to be solving problems, and we should take a break until we calm down. A third kind of silence is where I am just thinking, and trying to sort out my feelings and decide what I want to say. After about a minute of my not saying anything, he will usually get angry and make a snide comment about how I have stopped talking and refuse to engage in problem solving with him, in which case I will usually yell, "I'm thinking!!"
We always eventually come back to the conflict and resolve it. Usually, later that day, or at most within a day or two, I will bring it back up once we have calmed down, and we will talk rationally about it and it will get resolved... or at least we will reach a place of love and understanding where we acknowledge that we have disagreement, but still love and respect each other, even if the issue isn't going to be resolved right now.
I've heard that "stonewalling" is a sign of a troubled marriage. I am committed to changing my behavior if it is destructive, and he is too. Does what I described sound like stonewalling?
As a separate matter, is it destructive to walk away in order to calm down? Or to take time to sort out your thoughts before talking? I have told him that this is why I sometimes have to walk away from a fight - he knows that it isn't lack of commitment to work on a problem. It really, really bothers him, though, when I have to take a break. Should I just stick it out and keep arguing? | I sometimes leave an argument with my husband in order to calm down, or to sort out my thoughts. Is this stonewalling? |
t3_4g3k7s | Pets | Advice needed on keeping a dog entertained? | Hi all, I made this account just so I could post this because I'm really quite worried about this. I have a newfoundlander, he's 14 months old now. My family's had newfoundlanders for over 30 years so we know the race by now. Only it's the first one that actually lives with us in the house 24/7, the others were always in pairs and we kept them downstairs because of the chaos they would make inside the house. It's also the first dog I'm actively involved with in raising.
I'm worried and sad he might not have an active or exciting life indoors. He has A LOT of energy. We have a pretty big house and a large terrace, but no garden. We take him on daily walks for an hour or so, never twice to the same place in a row so he has some variation. We also play with him most of the time he comes pushing with a toy. He has plenty of toys, some bones to chew on, yet he often barks at us (playfully I think, his tail wagging) and we don't know why. I think it's because he's bored and/or depressed and wants us to play with him but when we play tug-o-war or fetch-and-don't-give-the-toy-back, he loses interest pretty fast. I've tried things like making him food puzzles but he's either not interested in them at all or doesn't understand he's getting food out of it so gives up quickly.
The added issue is that technically, it's my dog (he's registered to my name) and I do plan on taking him with me when I plan on moving out of my parents' house some day, but I don't have the heart to have him be alone at home all day when I'm at work, that's no life for an energetic dog like him. My boyfriend (a cat person, just an fyi) suggested getting a second dog, but I think it's cruel to get another dog just for the sake of being a playmate. Of course I'd love it from day one but the intention seems wrong. | How do you guys deal with pets (preferably dogs, cats are usually more independent that way) being home alone while you're at work? How do you keep them entertained? |
t3_19ffza | relationship_advice | Do I [20/F] have the right to be upset with my [27/M] boyfriend? | I'm going to try and put this in the simplest way possible so I don't drag on:
-Started sleeping with a guy a year ago. We ended after two months because I liked him more than he liked me and he wanted to sleep with whoever he wanted, though we still slept together occasionally up until six months ago.
-I started dating his best friend (my SO) about a month ago. Guy A lives in another city but we told him right away.
-SO and I have a great relationship but Guy A is miffed because he feels like my SO has broken the "brother code". My SO from the beginning, even now, has been upfront and asked him if this was all okay. Guy A continuously said it was.
-SO told me that since he asked Guy A from the beginning that it wouldn't matter if he wasn't okay, that he is too invested in me by now/loves me.
-SO and I decide to take a trip up to the other city to have a night out/see Guy A. Everything is totally cool, Guy A is still a little hurt though.
**The issue- Last night my SO asked Guy A one more time if he was okay with it, because if not then him and I would probably have to end. I understand why he asked, they've been bestfriends for 12 years and that's no way to build a relationship, I'm just upset because I trust him with my feelings and trusted when he told me that even if Guy A was upset we would still be together. I feel betrayed, especially because if Guy A didn't give the thumbs up then my SO and I would be over by now... do I have the right to be upset because I feel somewhat betrayed? | My SO put our relationship on the line after telling me for weeks I had nothing to worry about. I understand why he did it but I'm still upset and feel like the trust has been shattered a bit. |
t3_1wabsf | relationships | I [18M] just broke up with my girlfriend [17F] but I'm so confused as to what to do. Please help? | So yesterday I broke up with my girlfriend of one year. She was my first love, kiss and the girl who took my virginity. Towards the end we were having frequent arguments, struggled to get on well and had too many differences in opinion. I had been considering breaking up with her for a while and yesterday it climaxed and we just decided to separate. We did it over the phone (unfortunately) as it was an almost spur of the moment thing and as soon as it was done I put the phone down, closed the door and proceeded to sob my heart out.
I didn't know I would be so upset as I thought it was what I wanted, but now I'm really confused. I saw her today at school (that really doesn't help, we're in the same registration group) and she gave me back some stuff and I almost burst into tears there and then. I'm normally an emotionless person but this time it was too much. She gave me a letter as well and she wants me back and for me to change and come back to her and make everything well and good like the start of the relationship.
I don't know what I want. That's the hard bit. I'm stuck. I've always been pretty good at sorting out my thoughts but for some reason I can't now. There are so many different things floating around my head. A part of me wants her back, but a part of me says to just leave it be as the relationship wasn't working. A part of me says I should go out and meet someone new but another part of me says that I shouldn't get a girlfriend and just stay single as long as possible so I don't get that restraint. It's really confusing and I need help. Please, what do people think of this? What did people do for their first love? | I broke up with my girlfriend of one year, my first love, on mutual terms but I don't know what I want to do next; whether I want her back or not. |
t3_2osraq | relationships | Me [19 M] with complicated [20 F] about a year | Girl and I have been talked and hung out everyday for about a year, essentially every part of dating but the physicality.
The problem is that this guy she had dated for about a year left the country for a couple years and they decided to break up, but she wasn't ready to leave him.
She wasn't ready to leave him, but i couldn't handle the torture of just getting dragged along while she got over him, it has been about a year since we talked
There has been few day that have gone by that i don't think about her, but we left on slightly messy terms. I would really like to get back in contact with her when i go home, but I'm not sure how to go about it | Girl i had a complicated relationship with and stopped talking to about a year ago... I would like to get in contact with her again but I'm not sure how? |
t3_wl4c4 | AskReddit | What is something you enjoy or do, but for some reason you can't or simply choose not to discuss it with others? | For me, (as odd as it may sound) I love classical musical.
It started on a weekend shift at work about a month ago. I was driving on the airfield (doing the daily inspection) and to no surprise, there was nothing good on the radio. Finally I came across the classical music station and said to myself "aw what the hell" and gave it a chance.
Soon the orchestra that was currently playing had filled my mind and ears with amazing sounds. It was surprisingly catchy and I could imagine random scenes happening around me. For the past month I have been getting out of the office more and more conducting airfield checks and inspections simply to listen to the classical music station while driving.
The songs capture my imagination. With no words or singing, I can develop these amazing scenes in my head, everything from imagining a nice hike in the woods to a chaotic battle taking place. And other times it just relaxes me and creates a nice background noise to help me focus.
The reason I choose not to discus my newly found passion is because my egotistical co-workers will most likely make homosexual remarks or talk about how lame it is. My wife would just consider it boring and change the conversation. And friends, well the few I have at this base would probably just do the same thing as my co-workers. So it's something I have kept to myself until now.
( | I love classical music but do not share this fact due to egotistical friend/co-workers and my wife would think its too boring to discuss) |
t3_27nwzj | jobs | Landed an internship, feeling like I'm too old to be an intern, also underpaid. | I landed myself a graphic design internship with a political organization that considers itself to be a marketing firm for progressive causes. Fine, cool. They need a lot of work done, starting with their logo, they have $800 set aside for me...and they want to pay $10/hr.
This internship requires me to bus across town three days a week (boss stated he wants me in office more), but pays at the end of the month.
So here's my issue: I can find $800 worth of work to do this month, easily. But I can't do it for $10/hr. I just got a contract for $500 to make a menu and sort of realized what I'm worth. So how do I tell my (still very new to me) boss that I want to work with them, but in more of a consulting role, coming in once a week, taking my work home, and coming back the next week to re-assess what they need?
Sorry for the long rant, but at least it helped get my thoughts in order. | Got an internship, they were looking for an intern when they really needed consulting. I can do that and make the work more efficient, but I need to be paid more per hour. How do I talk to my boss? |
t3_1t9ega | pettyrevenge | Very, very petty waffle revenge | So I'm in high school so I live with my parents and younger sister. Recently she has been doing little things to get me mad for no reason whatsoever. One of the things she does is eat the blueberry toaster waffles my mom buys for me, keep in mind that she has her own non blueberry waffles mom gets for her because she doesn't like blueberry. Anyway she has recently started to eat my waffles jus to make me mad. **SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE BLUEBERRY WAFFLES!** Now the revenge, she has spent the last month or so figure in got the exact setting for the toaster to be on so that her waffles come out of the toaster perfect (she hates burnt waffles). Last night after she went to bed I lightly toasted all of her waffles and put them back in the box. This morning when she cooked her waffles they came out all black and burnt. The best part is that when she went tho throw them away, my mom came into the room and got really pissed off and made her eat the waffles. | my sister eats my toaster waffles I lightly toast hers so when she toasts hers she burns them and my mom makes her eat them. |
t3_3uzvve | relationships | If I [21M] were to get into a new relationship, should I tell my new partner that I once threatened to post my exes [20F] nude photos to the internet? | First of all I just want to make sure I clarify that I never actually posted the photos online, I only threatened to do that.
Long story short I found out she was cheating on me and we then soon after broke up. Even though we had broken up she would continue to message me on Facebook and text me basically rubbing it in that she was with the person who she cheated on me with. All I wanted was for her to leave me alone. What broke the last straw before I posted them was she signed into my Facebook and changed a bunch of my settings making me "gay" and righting a bunch of statuses about it. I then told her if she didn't stop and leave me alone I was going to post her nudes on the internet. Well it worked and now I haven't heard or spoke to her in almost two years.
My dilemma is If I get a new girlfriend should I tell her about this? If so when should I tell her? Before or after we start dating? | I once threatened to post my exes nudes online and if I get a new girlfriend if I should tell her that I once did that. |
t3_1ar1gz | AskReddit | Who's really the better Internet Service Provider? | I can't say that I am very aware as to how the chain of command works, or even how many different departments may exist withing a cable company, but here's the story.
As an RCN customer, it was some time ago that I was perusing their site and came across a cheaper promotional price offered for the internet and cable service that I currently have. With this information, I called RCN and asked what routes can be taken in order for me to receive this new price. The representative stated that he was incapable and that it was in fact, not possible. So I asked to speak to a manager just for good measure. From there they said "I don't know what difference it will make, but sure". After reaching their supervisor he kindly reiterated that I would not be permitted to take advantage of this new offer. That "sometime" in the future there will be bonuses offered to me in compensation for the inconvenience.
So I decided to switch to Comcast/Xfinity. Now Comcast advertises lower internet speeds than RCN, but neither of the two advertise upload speeds (to my knowledge). What's the real truth with internet speeds offered via cable companies, and are these "high speed packages" just a ruse?
Continuing on, I received a called not 10 minutes ago from an RCN representative. He is now offering the package from my original inquiry in order to keep me as a customer. When I explained that I asked for this courtesy once before, he reveals to me that neither the customer representatives nor their supervisors have knowledge of being able to actual honor such requests.
I could spend some time and research this, but there are some of you out their with some insight already. So I ask: What's the real deal? Give me the low down. Are internet speeds reaching 75Mbps a hoax? Is any one company really that better than the other? And in what chain of command does quality information go on unannounced? | I want to switch to Comcast, another cable/internet service. My current provider, RCN, is offering a cheaper rate now that I am leaving. So who's actually better and why? |
t3_422ac2 | relationships | How I [16 M] should deal with being friend zoned by my crush [15 F] | I've been friends with this really pretty girl in my school and we text a lot and talk a lot in school and she thinks I'm funny and cool. Well, I asked her friend if I should ask the girl out to Jprom and she went ahead and jokingly brought it up to her and the girl just laughed and said "uhh no" and then the girl's friend told me how she doesn't like me that way and isn't interested in relationships etc. The thing is though I get really emotionally attached to people and its just gonna feel like shit that I'm pretty much in a "friendzone" every time I talk to her. I tried ignoring her for the past two days but her friend brought it up to me saying "She thinks you're being an ass for ignoring her and thinks it's weird". What should I do? I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm emotionally invested but only seen as "that friend". | I like this girl, she friend zoned me. I ignore her, she thinks I'm being an ass. What should I do? |
t3_3nwgdi | relationships | How can I (26f) convince my husband (27m) of 4 years to get braces? | My husband has always had really bad teeth and really needs braces. It's not just cosmetic, the way his teeth overlap makes keeping his teeth clean much more difficult. He grew up with than basic dental services but no orthodontia. He can't do those invisilign things, he'd have to have traditional braces. When we were in school and struggling, he always talked about getting braves once we could afford it.
Well, we are now in a great financial situation. He has a job making great money and I do pretty good too. His insurance would help with costs and he could also do one of those things where you can put money from his check into an account pre-taxed for medical expenses (I forget what it's called.) We would still be paying out of pocket some, but we can totally afford it.
But when I brought it up he was really resistant. He said it would cost too much money and he didn't want to put us in a bad financial situation. I know we can afford it so I think he's just embarrassed to be the adult with braces.
I'm okay with his teeth cosmetically but I know fixing them will help prevent dental procedures in the future and greatly improve his dental health. He used to want this, but now that he can have it he doesn't want it. How can I convince him it's a good idea?
I had braces (and other complicated orthodontia) as a teen so, yes, I know that it's a long and pain in the ass rode but I think it's worth it. | husband used to dream of fixing his teeth via braces and now that we can afford them he doesn't want them anymore. They will greatly improve his dental health. How can I convince him? |
t3_4l85xz | relationships | Me [18 M] im in love with friend [18 F] confessing my love tomorrow | So I have wrote out a letter to a girl I have mentioned in previous posts (i only have a few posts so if anyones interested you can have a browse. Cut a long story short, we're very close friends, I love her and want to know if she feels the same way. Catch is she's in a relationship.
I just want some second opinions before I send this letter off tomorrow, the letter is very matter of fact and in no way pressures her into saying she feels the same way back. I don't explicitly say I love her in it, it's just a confession.
What I wanna know is, just before I do go through with it, shall I send it? Is this an incredibly dumb idea. I mean I never have to see her again after tomorrow, I finish my last year of Further Education (6th form). I never have to see her nor her boyfriend. I mean there isn't much to lose. Regardless I need to tell her, for closure, and if she does feel the same way then who knows. SO DO I SEND IT YES OR NO? | in love with my closest friend who's in a relationship, wrote out a letter confessing love, never have to see her past this Friday, do I send the letter?????????? or is it v dumb to do so. |
t3_1bbz28 | relationship_advice | [20/m] My girlfriend [20/f] broke up with me almost 2 months ago. I need to know what to do from here. | Me and my girlfriend (whom I had been friends with for several years prior) were in a relationship for about 2 years, and we had lived together for about 9 months. She moved out about a month before she left me. I am currently seeing a therapist for what I thought were insecurity issues. I had several feelings to break up with her, but I thought that that was just my insecurity. So when she ended it I was hurt, but not as much as some of my other break ups. I have my ups and downs still, but since they are mostly up I have begun to think about starting a new relationship. I also moved into the city I'm living in now a year ago, and I have not made many friends, so I am currently trying to make strong friendships with people. | She ended a long-term relationship. I expected it, so I am mostly ok with it. Also, I have very few friends in this city. |
t3_2mcv3m | relationships | Me [28F], my SO [35 M] of almost 3 years, hangs out with lesbian I met once all the time | My SO and I have been 'dating' about three years. He has two best friends, a lesbian couple, that he is good friends with that I have only ever meet one time for about 3 minutes.
These girls do not live together and one of them he spends a lot of time with.
Apparently without my knowledge for the first two years we were dating they were doing scheduled activities about three times a week together. Since then I have expressed that I think he should be letting me know when he is hanging out with a girl at her house by himself.
He has since been great about telling me 'hey I'm going over to so-and-so's house' but…
It really bothers me. I mean he went over to her house tonight and said he'd call me when he left and it's almost midnight. This is not the first time this has happened.
Part of me feels like I'm crazy and part of me feels like I have cause for concern. Tell me reddit, which is it? | My long time significant other spends lots of time at a girl's house (who I've been told is a lesbian). I have met girl in passing once. |
t3_v4dkt | AskReddit | What is your double oops moments? | Last night I got a phone call around 11:45, I thought it was my boyfriend calling me from work on his friend's cellphone. So I picked up the phone and was talking. The person I was talking to didn't sound like my boyfriend, but I wasn't going to ask who it was because I didn't want to offend him if it was. So I continued to talk, after him saying I love you a few times I decided it was time for me to go to bed. So I said good night and hung up the phone. After lying in my bed for a little while I thought to myself "ok that really wasn't my boyfriend" so I called back. He answered the phone and I asked "who is this?" the man said "what?' and at that moment I knew who it was. It was my ex-boyfriend. I asked him why he had called, but he didn't know it was even me on the phone. He thought he had called his wife, but somehow he called me. We haven't been dating for over a year. | I thought my boyfriend was calling me from work, I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me too, turns out it was my ex and he thought I was his wife. |
t3_237aae | relationships | Wedding attendance etiquette and drama, what to do? | Okay, I will try to make this short yet stress the dynamic that exists here.
I have a group of women I am good friends with. Two out of the 10 I consider my best friends (we will call them Lady R and Lady D). Three out of the 10 I consider more of acquaintances. One of my best friends (Lady R) brought in a friend into the group she went to high school with (we will call her Lady X). I am not very close to Lady X. She got engaged last year and we have known the date since then. Lady R is the MOH and has really done a lot of the wedding planning as well. As I am not big on weddings (all my friends know this) I found out yesterday that my sister is having my niece's first birthday party the same day. My sister and I have had a lot of ups and downs (my lady friends know about each of them) and we are really trying to work on a relationship right now. I am concerned that Lady R won't understand that my niece is more important. I reached out to Lady D to see if she had any insight on the etiquette of attending the reception but not the ceremony (Catholic mass style) and she has already started to say I am a bad person for wanting to go to my niece's birthday opposed to the wedding ceremony. Lady D places a lot value on these types of events and etc. Plus, with my break up being only 4 days old I think Lady D thinks it has to do with that as well (trust me, it doesn't. He and I were already complaining about having to go to the wedding).
So I guess what I am asking here are two things... 1 - Is it rude to only go to the reception and not the ceremony? (I do intend on calling the bride myself to discuss but just wanting to get opinions). 2 - How can I get around the drama of Lady D and Lady R when I am pretty sure that Lady X will understand the importance of family? | Wedding attendance etiquette and drama, what to do?; Rude if I go to the reception only? How to avoid drama with the other friends? |
t3_514stm | legaladvice | NJ/ Child custody/visitation rights for not bio father/no adoption | Background:
My friend J and his girlfriend T were together for 6 years,living together and raising T's daughter, K as a family. J is the only "father" that K has ever known, her bio dad wants nothing to do with her and hasn't seen her since she was 2, she's about to turn 9. J had planned on adopting K legally once him and T were married.
Over the past few months J & T have been having issues that ended with T signing a lease for an apartment behind J's back and moving into the apartment this past weekend. J was completely blindsided by this move, he obviously knew there were issues, but T leaving had never come up.
Apparently, T had been talking to her daughter K about the move and instructing her not to tell J what was happening.K did however, tell J's Mom (her babysitter) "We're going to leave my bed at J's house so I can sleep there on the weekends." As of right now, T is being very vague about any plans for K having further contact with J, she refuses to answer any of his questions about the future.
So now that the background is out of the way, my question is, does J have ANY rights to take T to court for visitation (at least) of K? If T should change her mind about J's access to K, does J have a leg to stand on legally to remain in K's life? J loves K like she is his own and it would kill him to lose her. From what I've looked into, it doesn't seem as though J has any rights, but J seems to think he does. I don't want to give him false hope or wrong information either way.
Additional info: J has MS and his symptoms have gotten progressively worse over the past few years.As of now, he's still able to work,walk,talk, etc, but his physical/neurological symptoms have gotten worse, the future does not look bright. We think T is resentful of J's illness and she believes that his MS is going to ruin her life. | My best friend raised his gf's daughter as his own for the past 6 years. GF is moving out, does my friend have any rights to continue to be in the GF's daughter's life. |
t3_2d885a | dating_advice | After a year things turned sour | So I've liked this guy for about a year, we both admitted to liking one another late last year. The thing is that he's an avid traveller and wanted to do exchange before finishing uni. So for half a year starting this semester he will be overseas. Earlier this year we decided against starting a relationship – never been a fan of long distance relationships plus had we started seeing each other we would only be six months into the relationship before he left. So for the better half of this year we have just been keeping in touch and talking throughout.
I've been in one relationship previously but never felt such a strong emotional connection with anyone - I guess that's why I've kept this window open for this long. We have lots of common interests, similar career aspirations. The problem started about two months ago. I got tired of waiting to be with him and told him that I wanted out. I thought he'd try to reassure me but instead two weeks later he came back to me saying he wanted out too. I haven't heard from him in about a month. I still really like him but am scared to recontact him and thought he needed time to cool off. He's leaving in about two weeks and I didn't really see the point of creating an issue now. I have no idea what to do – not sure whether to leave things till he gets back from exchange and then pursue things again. | Liked a guy for a year, liked me back. Decided against dating since he is going to be overseas but been in constant contact for most of this year. Now lost contact and not in good terms. |
t3_2qmfnx | relationships | I'm [20F] inexperienced in dating, and just want to make sure that I'm not moving too fast with this guy [24M]. | Just to start off with, I'm completely inexperienced in dating. I've never had a boyfriend or had any romantic interests, really, and I just got my first kiss about two months ago.
So I went on the first date of my life with a guy I met off of Tinder last week. He seemed very interested from the start, since he had to change plans at the last minute and suggested that we use the original plan as a later second date. During the whole date (we met up a cafe for drinks) he took a lot of opportunities to touch me, i.e. laying his hand on top of mine on the table and brushing his hand across my shoulders when he had to go to the bathroom. He walked me home and gave me a good night kiss, but we didn't make any firm plans for a second date that night since I was leaving town the next day to visit people for Christmas.
Yesterday, I let him know that I was going to be in town for a couple of days before I leave again for a short trip, and asked if he had time to meet up at all. He came over to my flat, and we sat and talked for a while, and kissing for a bit every now and then. Towards the end, we migrated to sitting on my bed and there was a pattern of talking, making out, cuddling, repeat ad infinitum. When he left, we agreed that we'd make plans to have a third date when I get back from traveling (sometime next week).
I like this guy, and he seems to like me, but I just want to make sure we're not moving too fast physically. I have nothing else to compare this to, really, and I'd like to know what the general consensus is on how physical people should get after two or three dates is. | Second date with the guy I'm seeing ended in us making out, are we moving too fast or is this normal? |
t3_250xvt | relationships | Me (26m) my gf (30f). She got drunk and kissed a friend. So lost. :'( | Well. This girl I've been chasing for 4 years. We finally got together. Its been 5 months and she revealed to me last Monday that the Friday prior she got blacked out drunk and kissed a long time friend.
She insisted that she's never done anything like that in any relationship. She waited 2 days to tell me... Said she was petrified and didn't know how to tell me. She seemed very sorry and was understanding and acceptive of how I wanted to handle it.
I decided to keep the relationship going. We have a strong background in relaying how big trust is to each other, and that we've had huge issues with being betrayed in the past.
My question is... Do I seem like a hopeless cause? Do I seem like I'm desperately trying to hold on? Do you guys see that as betrayal? Any similar situations and how they ended you guys care to share? | Girlfriends drunk and kisses guy. Catches me by huge surprise. Long history (prior friends) of expressed trust being important. Cheating? Thoughts? Questions? Stories? |
t3_19neh6 | travel | My Balkans Bonanza -- What should I add!? | Just got the news that I've been accepted into a pretty awesome study abroad program in Sarajevo. I will be there for 2 months from June to August. My biggest fear is the heat, I hate the heat.
My question is what should cities should I visit or take day trips to? I am actually leaving a month early to do some more exploring. I am quite fond of compact cities that are consumed with people who enjoy night life and cafes and fill the streets during the day. For instance a city like Amsterdam. I am pretty frugal to begin with -- this is why I choose Bosnian SA.
With this program we will be visiting Plitvice National Park, Bosnian Pyramids, Mostar (really excited), Banja Luka, Međugorje, Jajce, and Dubronovik (Sp?).
I've already been to Belgrade (actually, I want to go back), Budapest, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, Stockholm, & Krakow.
My original plan was to fly into Kiev and just hang there for a couple weeks then head to Lviv (or vice versa). I really want to go to Ukraine. Girls are gorgeous, everything is cheap, good night life, and those cities have a pulse. But, I feel like I could be getting more from my experience this summer.
Cheapest flights to Sarajevo are from Cologne and Istanbul --> I like the idea of Istanbul but what about cheap train rides somewhere? Is Cologne worth a visit?
Thoughts on Ljubljana, Skopje, Pristina, Tirana, Sofia, Varna, Pecs anywhere in Romania? I do speak a little Ukrainian so I can read cryllic to a certain degree and I would be traveling alone | Where to go around Sarajevo? Already been to several cities in close proximity. Are there any can't miss sites? Also I'd take any info on what I HAVE to see in Sarajevo |
t3_3c2s66 | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend [21F] rubbing a guys back and awkward history. | Hey guys, I'm hoping to give some back story and then jump into the problem.
Last summer when we were not talking, my girlfriend got drunk at a party and almost had sex with her best-friends brother. The only reason they did not is because he had whisky dick. She says hes only viewed as a brother to her now.
I guess that situation makes me feel unconformable and is recently brought to light because my girlfriend, her best-friend and her brother have been hanging out again. I then see on someone else snap-chat that he has his shirt off and my girlfriend is rubbing his back.
Should I be concerned about this behavior? Should I confront her? | Girlfriend hanging out with guy she almost hooked up with, now see her rubbing his back on social media. She knows things like that make me uncomfortable and she also does not do those things for me if I ask. |
t3_30ld6c | relationships | Me [40 F] with my Friend [34 F] on/off 2 years, friend isn't respecting boundaries and is creeping us out. How should I deal with her? [NON ROMANTIC] | hi everyone, thank you for reading this.
I have a friend, which I'm not sure is a friend. It's a woman who lives a few doors down from me, and she's basically planted herself in our lives (my husband and I). I should add, I'm autistic and miss many social cues, and I'm pretty certain she preys on that.
Yesterday she sent me a text saying that she'd been dreaming of my husband tearing around on a jet ski with her youngest son. Frankly, that pissed me off, and Im assuming she's working some kind of angle. I told my husband about her comment and he told me to tell her to knock it off - that the thought of her dreaming of him creeps him out.
So here's the the main question; how do I deal with someone who constantly disregards boundaries, talks about sex a lot (when I've told her I don't want to talk about that stuff with her), and she freaks out when I call her out on weird shit? | Have a friend who I am pretty sure is trying to endear herself to my husband by saying she dreams of him with her kids; how do I deal with her knowing she does not respect boundaries? |
t3_3m42ix | relationships | My[27 F] BF [31 M] of 2 years wants to move out after living together 7+ months but not breakup | We've been together 2 years. He's lived with me pretty much since January, we did 2 months of long distance (his hometown is a few states away) June-Aug to spend time with his sister who had cancer. Sadly she passed away. Before his return back here, we pretty much agreed that he would live with me for the next year or so until he potentially moves back to his homestate to start a business.
2 weeks after moving back with me, he started to secretly look for apts to move into after a few fights we had. I was shocked, naturally, he said he's really stressed and needs his space and autonomy (I'm sure also to grieve/reflect). But I feel like moving out at this point of our relationship is a HUGE step back. I thought everything was fine once he returned but this news has made me so insecure and emotionally shaken about the fate of our relationship. The move apparently has nothing to do with the relationship and doesn't mean we'll breakup. He knows I am in this for marriage and I believed he'd even propose by next year.
Are all relationships doomed if one person moves out after living together? | Been together 2 years, lived together 7 months, he wants to move to his own place but doesn't want to breakup. |
t3_1kie42 | relationships | Insecurities | 25/f with my SO of 3.5 years (26/m)... Recently he stopped playing video games all the time and has started going out with his friends. I don't have a problem with it unless they go to the bars all the time, just because I don't think it's appropriate for committed people to hang around in the meat markets. It just seems like that is all his friends (mostly single early 20's) like to do.
I understand he needs to get out with his friends, and I want him to have fun with them. I just can't help but think he's out with his single friends, wishing he could do whatever he wants, and seeing women he would like to talk to and maybe more. He's only been with 1 other girl before me and I'm paranoid that he will start to like the party scene and want to experience the lifestyle of sleeping around and being like his single friends.
I have 2 kids (not his, but he acts like they are) and am very family oriented... I have no desire to be out at the bar other than for special occasions. How do I stop feeling this way? What's wrong with me? How often is reasonable for a committed guy to need to go out until the middle of the night? Help! | I am insecure because my bf has only been with 2 girls his entire life, and I'm worried he will start liking the single lifestyle when he's going to bars with his single friends. |
t3_we8ye | AskReddit | Will English Continue to be the Dominant Language for International Business and Affairs for the Near and Far Future? Has the West, Through its Actions in the Past 100 or So Years, Guaranteed that English Will Continue to Play This Role? | Right now, from what I have seen and experienced, English seems to be the language of choice used by businesses in order to conduct deals or anything major internationally. Many people of the major countries of the world can speak or communicate in English. It is the one common thing that allows the Western, Middle Eastern, and Far Eastern regions of the world to deal and conduct international affairs with one another.
In ancient times, each region in the world was fairly isolated and mostly paid attention to its own affairs. A result of this is the wide range in difference between Eastern and Western culture and language. Business did occur between the regions but it was small in nature.
Then around the 20th century, the West adopted colonization and imperialism which affected the other parts of the world. Cultures mixed and the West influenced enough power to make its mark. Globalization made the world ONE interconnected body instead of separate and isolated regions. For example, the British had influence in Africa and Asia and the US had influence in Japan and South America. This influence eventually spread over time.
Since the world is one interconnected body it is much harder to enact any major change in the way things are done since you would have to change the whole world compared to a single region. So for now everything seems to be set in stone and it looks like English will continue to be used for international affairs and business since in modern times, Imperialism seems to have stopped. I guess this could be because nobody is SUPER powerful anymore. At least enough to completely take over regions.
What does Reddit think, can or will anything happen to change the way international business and affairs are done? | English is the international business language now, will it be the language we use when we are zooming through the stars and conducting business between Earth and the unruly outer colonies? |
t3_2c97rx | relationships | My friend [25 F] has been cheating on her boyfriend [25 M], should I [24 F] tell him? | So my friend, let's call her S, has been in a long term relationship with J for a couple of years now. Recently life's stresses have been getting into their relationship and S recently confided in me that she had cheated on J with another mutual friend (let's call him P).
I spoke with P about it and he admitted what he did was wrong and he called it off and has tried to create space between them so they don't continue the affair. The problem is, I like hanging around with both of them but the chemistry between them is clear to see so throughout this whole episode I feel I've lost a friend as they won't meet up together.
Now comes the main issue. I can't stand cheating, but S is my friend. Should I tell J, who I don't really know, or should I stay true to my friend and say nothing? Is there a middle ground where J can find out but S will not suspect me so I don't lose a friend (possibly more). I'm in a moral dilemma and everywhere I turn I'm bound to lose, can you help me reddit? Any advice is welcome! | friend cheated with other friend. Feel like bf should know but don't want to be the bad guy and lose friend, what should I do? |
t3_3tdz2h | relationships | I [22f] have been contacted by my estranged half brother [m26] out of the blue under very suspicious circumstances | There is a lot of back story here so I will try to condense as much as possible.
My dad had 3 kids before meeting and marrying my mom. They were all older than me and their mom had custody so we didn't grow up together.
My parents (m62, f52)divorced when I was 11 and it was very ugly. Lots of hurtful things were said on all sides and I was too involved for an 11 year old.
I stopped seeing my dad after my mom got full custody (my decision). Since then, he has turned all my family against me on his side. They all dropped contact and I haven't spoken to them in years.
I have been trying to get information about my tomorrows scholar account (investment account you can only use towards education). My parents set it up together before their divorce, but my dad has all the information. I used it before and need it now to go back to school. They won't give me any info and tell me to contact my dad. I haven't yet and Don't plan to.
Cut to today. At work I got 4 missed calls from a South Carolina (not where I live) number but didn't call back. They didn't leave a message. Then my brother (m26) that I haven't spoken to in literally 5 years or more messaged me on fb asking my middle name for "a job application." Not sure what job requires half sibling middle names.
Small talk then he asks me my address??
I was too creeped out to respond but he told me he lives in sc now so I asked him did you try to call me today? No answer for a few hours now.
I am concerned that he is trying to a) get my info to give to me dad, which I don't want because he used to harass me when I lived at home or b) credit scam or something similar. What do? | half brother I haven't talked to in years randomly asks for my middle name and address out of no where and it's creeping me out. What should I do? |
t3_23955p | relationships | Me [19M] with my weird best friend with benefits [20F] who is my best friend but we occasionally do things? | There's this girl, and she's my best friend and occasionaly when we are both drunk (which is often, were college students) sometimes things happen.
Pretty sure she is not interested in me in any way other than being friends and me occasionally getting her off. which sucks kinda but whatever. it was a pretty sweet deal for a while.
I'm pretty crazy about her, which sucks, and definitely a few nights ago when I was especially drunk but not with her I texted her sister that I "loved" her (her being my best friend"
Then just like 2 hours ago she calls me, then calls me again a half hour later, both of which I missed because I was sleeping, then she shoots me a message on facebook and texts both saying "I can't believe you told my sister you love me..." and now she's incredibly hostile towards me only answering with "ok" and other small text like that. not to sure what to do for damage control on this situation. kinda losing it right now. | best friend I occasionally did sexual things with hates me know i think because I drunkenly told her little sister that I loved her big sister. what to do |
t3_3896yj | relationships | Me [26m] with my ex [27f] of 3 years, why is she still talking to me? | The long story short, my girlfriend and I broke up after living together for 1.5 years, and living in separate states for ~1.5 years when she took a job out of state. The distance took a toll on us. There was one incident where she deleted text messages from her iPad before she let me borrow it. I wouldn't ever compromise her privacy, and she knows this. I've had a few other issues with trusting her prior to this event, but all events, this one inclusive, have been more or less swept under the rug. This tid-bit is an irrelevant rant, that feels good to get off my chest. None of these issues were cited during the break up, but I feel that this could have slowly contributed to the stress-ball that eventually turned into our relationship.
I mostly credit living apart with the break up. Neither of us were really happy, and it was hard. I was convinced that I could keep it up until the next step, where we would be able to move in with each other again, but we never made it that far.
She broke up with me a few weeks ago. I took it on the arches, more or less, and kept it cool because we still very much have a life together, until she moves her things and her kitten out. We share the same circles of friends. I will see her again in my life, but I don't want the relationship to relapse. I feel a bit betrayed and abandoned, considering the sacrifices I made to make the relationship last while she moved. I'm certainly not bitter about it, and I can imagine us being friends eventually. But for the time being, she chats with me and tries to re-enter my life after putting out the flame less than a week ago.
I don't know if this is her insecurity, regret, or oblivion to the reality of the situation. I sincerely doubt the latter, and fear the former. In my opinion, we should be doing our own things right now. But if she is constantly seeking consolation and reaffirmation of my well being after the break up, should I be worried? | Girlfriend left me for whatever reasons, and that's cool. But shouldn't it take us at least a a bit more time than a week to be buddy-buddy again? |
t3_4dtdit | relationships | Am I[16 M] hopeless with girl[16 F] I have liked for months? | So, first semester I had a class with this one girl, who you could easily say was way out of my league. She and I talked a lot and we became friends. About everyday we talked and now we text/snapchat pretty often and sometimes we would hang out. She would also talk to me about her life a lot and the drama in it. She wouldn't tell this stuff to a lot of other people.
Eventually I became friends with some of her friends and her friends told me how much she would talk about me. One of them even told me she had a crush on me. Everything was going fine.
Then, she met this college kid, through other people. She also personally talked to me about her having a crush on him. At about this time she started texting less and we hung out less too. Eventually something did happen with that college kid and he was never to be heard about again.
Over winter break, we barely texted or talked. Eventually we ran into each other and now we talk to each other daily despite not having any classes together. We even went to the winter dance together as friends to have fun and that was the first time we hung out since 2 months before.
Now she has been talking about having a liking another guy to me. They do talk to each other a lot and text each other too. At this point, idk what to do. I still have a crush on her, but I don't think its mutual. She doesn't reply to my texts or snapchats often and I'm kind of clueless at this point. Whenever we walk together I get the vibe she doesn't want to talk to me(it feels kind of awkward) even though she was the one who asked me to walk with her. What am I supposed to do to get us to do now? How do i get her to talk and text to me like we used to? More importantly, should i just give up on a relationship with her, or keep trying. Any advice is appreciated. | A girl had a crush on me for a while, but its not clear if she still does. Idk what to do at this point. |
t3_2bv3x8 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [37 F] for 3 years. Not sure if I should marry her. | Hi - I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and we live together now. She is very sweet and treats me very well (makes food, plans trips, takes care of me when I'm sick), is well educated, smart, hard working, and is a good person overall.
We generally get along, but we can get in big arguments and she can get mad at me for hours over it. I'm not sure if these are average arguments in a relationship or more than that, but I suspect the latter.
From a sex perspective, I don't find myself wanting to have sex with her very often. I would say she is a "5" to me (hate putting it on a scale, but just so you get an idea of the attraction level), and I don't find myself desiring her very often.
The question I have is should I marry her despite the arguments/attraction level? I'd be interested to hear from anyone with a similar situation or with experience that I might not have that would provide any insight. | Should I marry my gf who I get into arguments with often and who I don't find myself desiring sex with often? |
t3_2wmbfm | relationships | Me [16 M] with my "Friend" [17 F] I want to ask her for her number... | I met this girl in my class, she's a year older than me and we hit it off pretty well. We'd spend literally the entire period just talking and stuff, but never about anything too intimate. Anyways, we got moved to opposite sides of the class, and I just recently found her and added her on twitter.
What I want to know is, would it be wise for me to DM her on twitter for her number (she added me back)? If so, what would I say? I don't really think it's an option to do it in person because we sit so far apart and never really see each other out of that class.
I've become pretty bad at talking to girls after a few incidents that transpired during the beginning of the year, so I have absolutely no idea how to run a conversation like this. | I'm friends with this girl, but not too close of friends. Is it OK to DM her on twitter to ask for her number? I'm bad at talking to girls. |
t3_1renzn | relationships | Me [21F] and my boyfriend [21M] - he broke up with me after 1 and a half y (he loves me and i love him) what should i do? | Hi redditors, ty all for reading this.
> Yesterday my boyfrend came to my place to see me, and we got in a stupid fight for no reason, i acted badely and now he is gone and dont want me anymore. We are together for one and a half year and i realized that i was stupid and intolerante and i react agresively because of stupid things, on the other hand he was doing everything for me and he said he still loves me but he cant take this anymore and then he left.
> I just cant let this go. I cant sleep, i can eat, i am so scarred and i need to do everything I cant to show him that i realy love him. I was replaying all the bad tings i did in my had for hours. I need to do something.
And i need to change, not only for him, for me to.
> | What is your edvice? What should I do? How to show him that we are something that is worth fighting for and that he should just let me try fight for him now? |
t3_525sjv | relationships | My (22F) sister (28F) has made my living situation hell. | Hey reddit, hoping you can help me with another dilemma.
Backstory: I used to rent out the bottom floor of a house that my mother and her sister own in the city. My sister couldn't afford her rent in a better apartment and ended up having to move in with me and we moved to the top floor. I moved out to continue my education in another state, but have recently transferred to a school back in the city. Meanwhile, my sister moved her boyfriend in that she has been with for five months and did not make him pay rent to my mother until they redid the walls in the back bedroom (my old bedroom).
During the summer, I was living with my fiance, who I have been with for two years and have known for over ten. But my school is an hour away with no traffic, three hours away during the morning commute. Therefore, my mother insisted that they move renovate the attic and we (my fiance and I) move up there.
Fastforward to the start of school: the attic is not finished, new floor are being put down this week, but we wont have our own bathroom for several months nor will we have a kitchen. We will start officially living there this week as I have realized commute is far too difficult (a four hour process) and my fiance leaves his job this week.
My sister says that we are intruding on her and her boyfriend's space and she insists that we should have to knock the door of the apartment every time we have to use the bathroom (and if it is at an inconvenient time for them, we should have to go to starbucks a mile away) and that we should have to use a campfire stove every time we cook. I think this is ridiculous.
How do I make this work? How do I live with someone that is so self-centered? | My fiance and I are moving into the attic above my sister's apartment and she is denying us from using kitchen and bathroom. |
t3_1qk0zc | relationships | My [25 F] boyfriend [32 M] of a year travels for his work a lot. How do I cope? | My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He has a job that requires him to travel all the time. He has times when he's really busy (and I'm lucky to see him a few days a month) and times when he's home for weeks on end.
I go crazy when he's gone, though. I make plans with my friends and family and try to stay busy, but I still can't help feeling lonely. I normally take up some project while he's gone, too. This time I'm working on a blanket I'm making my boyfriend for Christmas.
He can't really talk to me during the day because he's working pretty much the entire time. I don't want to be a burden on him by texting him a lot either, so I try to refrain.
Does anyone else have to deal with this kind of thing? What tricks do you use to cope when you can't see the one you love? What's something I can tell myself to make myself feel better when I'm going to bed lonely at night? I feel so... pathetic. And I hate it. | Boyfriend travels frequently for work and I can't shake the loneliness that comes with it. Could use coping tips and tricks. |
t3_2t0n7x | weddingplanning | Fiancé wants to push back our date now that I've gotten mildly excited about planning. What do I do? | I'm just going to start by saying I hate wedding planning. I am not the typical bride in that I didn't dream of my wedding day as a child and I didn't strive to be a wife or a mother.
My fiancé and I got engaged in June and since then I've had a hell of a time trying to get motivated to plan the wedding that he wants. If it were up to me, we would elope to somewhere romantic and special just for the two of us. But he insists on having a large wedding (approx 175-200 people) so that's where we're at. I've booked our venue, dj, and photographer and locked in special prices with them because I booked early for a 2015 wedding. I also just recently bought my dress, which finally made me feel like a bride and inspired me to start planning again.
Since I've bought my dress, all of a sudden my fiancé wants to push the date back of our wedding because he's worried about money (although for months he's been joking that he wants to change the date because it falls on the date of a football game that he wants to go to). I mean, I get it but I couldn't feel more frustrated than I already do. He wants this huge wedding, I just want to marry him. I love him but I don't know how to explain to him how upset I am about this. | fiancé wants to push our date back right as I start planning our wedding (the one that he wanted) again. I don't know how to explain how frustrated I would be if I had to move it. |
t3_o6sqd | AskReddit | Technical Career Advice Needed (should I become a Sys Analyst?) | Hey all! Here's my background.
I have a BS in IT and I'm currently enrolled in an MS program for Computer Information Systems with an eta to finish in summer 2013.
The majority of my past employment has been tech support related (helpdesk, call centers, pc migration, etc). My current job is an entry level contractor position where I maintain my company's computer hardware inventory as well as troubleshooting employee computers, monitors, and peripherals. Every job I was hired for has been hourly and I haven't had a salary job as of yet.
As far as certifications go, I currently have an ACMT cert and was planning on getting the following to sharpen my technical knowledge and enhance my credentials for better positions in the future: A+, Network+, and the MCTS.
I had gone back to school because I feel that it would help open doors into more advanced careers. TBH, I like tech support, but I don't want to keep doing it. I went into IS specifically because the classes help fine tune what I've learned in my undergrad and accompany my everyday technical experiences, while at the same time mixing in business knowledge to help me become more well rounded.
My problem is that I don't have a set career in mind. I have been leaning towards a System Analyst for a while thinking it could be the perfect fit. From what I've found out, the job encompasses various technical skills (without the need to be a specialist in one) while at the same time focuses on end user interaction instead of spending most of my time in front of a computer. However I've also heard that System's Analyst isn't really a loved / worthwhile position.
Based on my background and current situation, would you say a System's Analyst is a career I should look into? or something else altogether? Thank's for your time. | I'm a techy with an IT degree and soon an IS degree. Looking for career suggestions. Thinking about System's Analyst but not sure. |
t3_ot3ka | relationship_advice | She left me for another man, had sex with him, and wants to come back. What should I do? :( | So we had been together for around a year and then we broke up for reasons that I didn't understand. I wanted to fix the problems with our relationship because they weren't that big of a deal. We had trust issues because she kept on flirting with other guys. But Then she freaked out one day and said it was all over. As it turned out she was flirting with another guy the whole time, and started dating him not long after she ended it with me.
So they went out for about half of a year. During this time I was EXTREMELY angry at her and for the most part when she would try to talk to me I would just get mad, ignore her, or argue with her. At some point they broke up. I still remained mad at her until eventually one day she told me that she needed to tell me something. She told me that she still loved me, and that she wished she could go back and change everything that happened. apparently she had sex with the other guy.
I don't know what to do. I feel so heartbroken. I love her so much, but I feel like nothing will ever be the same after what happened. I feel that I should forgive her, but i'm so hurt that I just feel like I should tell her to F off forever. I want to be with her again, but I feel like it will never be the same between us again. I have to hold back tears every single time I think about what happened. What should I do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! | My girlfriend left me for another man, had sex with him and then came back to me wanting me to take her back. What should I do? :( |
t3_h7sdp | relationships | you cant text message break up! ...or can you? | so, my boyfriend (21) text me (22/F) last night to tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. i was so confused. we have been in such a nice place. better than any other relationship i've ever had. i've known for a while that we might not make it past June because he's leaving for the summer and we both didn't want a LDR. but, i mean, that's in June. he definitely threw me for a loop by breaking up so soon. this means i can still run the chance of bumping into him downtown or something and since he doesn't want to see me, it could get awkward. when i told him that he should have talked to me face to face he responded with, "it wouldn't have made a difference."
i just don't get it, Reddit. we were doing so well. why did he become so immature about the break up? he claims he doesn't want to see me because he fears he'll hurt me, but by doing this his way, through a text, i feel even more hurt. as if he was too much of a coward to do it face to face or that i didn't mean enough to him to put in the effort. also, i really wish he wouldn't use my feelings as an excuse. i know that when he leaves, he's going to hit up bars and clubs and prob try to get as much action as possible. for some strange reason, him telling me that might have been easier. the fact of the matter is that i miss him like hell, ha, and it has only been a day.
so, i guess my question to you is, how many of you have been broken up with through a text? or how many of you have broken up with someone through a text? what's the rationale behind it? should i try to make amends with him(the last final texts i wrote to him were a bit rude)? how should i feel about all of this? should i try contacting him? i don't hate him, i'm just disappointed... | boyfriend broke up with me via text. i'm hurt and disappointed in his immaturity. how many people actually do this sort of thing via text? |
t3_33sz06 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my mother [45 ish F] Relationship is 21 years old. She is upset with me because of something I said. | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
This morning I told my mother that once I leave home she probably wouldn't see me again because we don't get along and when i told her this she freaked out and got mad and upset. The reason i said this is because we don't get along at all and I don't see the point of continuing a relationship that neither of us gets anything out of. How should I deal with this with out further upsetting her? I only need a temporary solution to this problem, but any kind of help will be appreciated. | Mum got mad when I told her that I wasn't going to see her after I leave, what should I do? |
t3_3g0l86 | relationships | Should I [F] report my roommate [29, M] for marriage fraud? | I don't want to include too many personal identifiers on here, but here's the synopsis:
I knowingly have observed my roommate (of a year or so) hanging out with another girl (other than his girlfriend, who has recently moved in with us) for a while. She is foreign and comes from a lot of money-- she has bought him gifts without him telling his actual gf where they have come from.
My roommate has A LOT of loans and has historically made a lot of decisions that have been spiteful toward me, irresponsible, and cost me a lot of money. At first I thought he was okay and had good intentions, but my roommate is a textbook narcissist that is incapable of thinking about how his actions affect others (it's been difficult, but the rent is so cheap I really can't afford to move).
Well, he recently has informed me that he is going to marry the foreign girl for $40,000 from her father. His actual girlfriend is aware of this fact and supports it since he is in so much debt. It's really an unhealthy situation for me, but whether I want to condemn him to prison is a whole different story (I really don't). On the other hand, what are the legal obligations of my position? Now that I know... I feel that if I get questioned by somebody investigating the marriage, I don't have any deniability since he has told me.
My roommate is known for lying, so at first I thought it might be one of those situations where he exaggerates things. Additionally, it's a good excuse for him to continue contact with this other girl without his girlfriend's permission. However, his girlfriend told me the other day he was out getting "engagement photos."
I know, I know I should keep my mouth shut... but honestly after him ruining a lot of things with his irresponsibility, I don't know what to do. Also, how does the government go about proving fraud, anyway? | Should I turn in my roommate for marriage fraud? He's not my favorite person, but I'm afraid this could come back to me and I'm not sure I want to send a person to prison. |
t3_pl32x | AskReddit | My boyfriend has been strongly hinting that he's getting me an engagement ring for V-day. How do I let him know ahead of time that I'm not ready? | My bf and I have been together a good 6 months (living together for 5 of them) and we've been through quite a lot already. We love each other very, very much and I honestly do see a long future with him.
However, I'm only 19 and personally I feel like I have a lot of growing to do before I settle down like that. He pulled me aside and asked me if I was really committed to this relationship because it apparently had something significant to do with my v-day gift but he obviously couldn't tell me much more.
I'm really nervous and I don't want to just tell him "no". How do let him know that I'm not ready? | Bf has been hinting he's going to ask me to marry him...I'm not ready and don't have the heart to figure out how to let him down gently. :( |
t3_1xdt34 | relationships | I (22F) think a cashier (mid 20s?M) at my local B&N was checking me out? How could I strike up a friendly conversation | I went in a couple weeks ago. He was ringing me up. Commented on my Breaking Bad shirt. We made some light jokes. Briefly talked about David Foster Wallace. I thought he was cute but was more happy to talk to someone--I moved here months ago from upstate and still don't know many people.
I quickly ended the convo and ran out because there was someone in line behind me. Came in again today with my family. All four registers were open and I noticed he was working. But we went to the register two down from his. I couldn't tell how accurate my peripheral vision was but it looked like he turned to face me when I walked up.
We go to leave. The counter for the register wraps around and ends at the front door. As we're leaving he quickly walks down that area. I try to inconspicuously watch to see if he had a purpose for doing that or if he wanted my attention. My aunt comments that I should apply here for a second job and he pipes in (from behind the counter) that they're totally hiring and I should definitely apply.
When finally left my sister commented that she noticed he was watching me and my aunt said she noticed he left his register (while there was a line) and walked around for no reason. Then they did the typical teasing.
I don't really care if he was trying to flirt or not. I mean it's nice, but the opportunity to possibly make a new friend--especially now that I don't have many down here--is more promising at the moment. He is cute, though. But I digress. How can I try to get to know the dude? | Clerk seemed chatty at first. Family noticed he was possibly giving me some glances on our second visit. How do I make friends? |
t3_1twb0y | loseit | Good guy delivery guy (rant) | I've been off the wagon, probably gained 15 lb in 2 months.
Yesterday I was good all day, desperately trying to get back on track after the holiday. At the request of my family I ordered a pizza and breadsticks. I wasn't good. But if I entered in the calories from my cardio (which get horribly exaggerated by MFP) it was still bad but I could just barely squeak by.
But then the doorbell rings.. It's the delivery guy. I'm like wtf? He's all apologetic about forgetting the breadsticks.. "You didn't forget.. I ate them they were really good" but he had a box with my name on it.. Must have given me someone else's.. He didn't really want to figure it out so he gave me the box and left.
Yep. I can't even make this stuff up. Another failed day. | pigged out on pizza and breadsticks, delivery guy came back unexpectedly 45 min later with more breadsticks thinking he forgot them. Ate most of those too. |
t3_ftgd9 | AskReddit | I need a new signature! | I was recently married and I just realized I need to change my old one. After years of writing this one, I am slightly programmed.
Of course I understand it is not hard to write one out and change it, but I want it to look just as cool as my original one. My old initials were "E.R" and now I am a "E.H".
So without giving out my real name I want to ask Reddit to help out. I will give a fake name so I am not giving out too much info but it will be very similar to my name so I can just change a few things.
Fake name: Emilee Housni
Btw, I make my E for my first name like [this] and I would like to keep it this way because I find it pretty. That is all. :D | I would like people help me design a new signature for myself. I gave a fake name that have very similar elements to my real name that I will adjust afterwards. |
t3_uqea5 | relationships | Should I be honest and tell my boyfriend that I'm not sexually attracted to him? | My boyfriend (26) and I (24) have been together 9 months this time around. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't know how else to explain why we haven't really been sexual in any way for the past few weeks. I think he might wonder if I'm cheating but I'm not.
I'm just not sexually attracted to him. I didn't really find him attractive when we first met but I fell for his personality and charm and over the years he's kind of become my best friend. We've been through some rough stuff and broke up for over a year but we got back together and now things are great. I couldn't ask for more, besides the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to him.
When we first dated (for 2 yrs before the break up) we would have sex ALL the time. He was my first real boyfriend and as someone with a lot of emotional baggage, I was so happy that he accepted me for me and I fell in love with him. I honestly never, never thought about looks. I just wanted a guy who could be a good partner and friend but now that he sometimes mentions the "M" word, I'm freaking out. Could I spend the rest of my life with someone I love and who loves me, but I have to have sex with him even though I'm not turned on by his physical looks at all? Is this worth breaking up over?
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't know what to do and he wants to talk tonight...
*Feel free to ask questions*
This is a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my username. | Boyfriend wants to know why we haven't had sex in weeks. Not sure if I should tell him that I don't find him attractive. |
t3_1no4xr | tifu | By leaving duty (as an RA) and going to a house party. | For some context, I was on duty, and i had the duty phone. If you're on duty, you must stay within five minutes distance. Also, you have to sign the phone off to someone 48 hours in advance if you are to pass it to someone else. Anyways, I was on duty with some co workers and i got a call from a friend that said they found a party to go to. I was immediately like, fuck i'm on duty, so I can't. A coworker of mine heard my convo and offered to hold the phone for me. (Mistake 1) I told him it was a bad idea, but then I thought about it and told myself the ever infamous saying of "What could really go wrong?" I left and met up with them and got to the party. I went in, and I shit you not, not 10 seconds later did i leave because of the extreme odor of weed that smacked me in the face the second I walked in. I had a friend come pick me up and realize how terrible of an idea it was, and I got back to campus and finished my rounds for the night. During my hall meeting that following week, apparently someone told my boss about it (I think I know who it was) and we had a meeting with her boss as well. I was fired and now I have to move away from the freshman area and begin compensating for all the financial benefits I was awarded. I've never felt like such a screw up to my future, my friends and my family. | I'm an RA, was on duty, left to go to a party, realized how dumb it was, came back, finished the night, got fired the next week cuz someone told on me. |
t3_4j19g3 | relationships | Me [24M] with my boyfriend [33M] of 7 months, he blacked out an exchanged oral with a friend. Next steps? | My boyfriend just told me last night that he blacked out at a party a month ago and all he remembers is snippets of being in his place with one of his friends giving each other blowjobs. He obviously feels awful about it, and I believe him when he says it was a huge mistake and he doesn't even know why it happened in the first place. He's had two other 7 and 3 yr relationships where he thought about cheating cause he was unhappy but never did. Meanwhile he says he loves me more than anyone he's ever dated and I believe him when he says it was a complete fuck up and that he's not going around having affairs.
This friend is a little odd. He's an ex-coworker who has some open relationship with his wife - he was weirdly hitting on one of my friends at my BFs birthday too. This night it happened my BF says he didn't drink enough to get that drunk ($30 tab at the end over several hours, and he has a high tolerance) and he was falling around sloppy which is also unlike him - I'm also concerned that he was drugged or something... My BF isn't all that assertive so I'm pretty sure this guy took advantage of the situation.
Regardless of any of that - does anyone have suggestions for next steps that we can take to re-establish the amazing relationship we had? We talked a lot last night. I'm not giving up on this, and I appreciate that he told me. The first thought we already talked about was never seeing this friend again, which he agrees with. I just want to feel comfortable in his apartment and having sex with him again. | My boyfriend was blackout (roofied?) and swapped blowjobs with a friend. I believe it was a one time thing and want to move on - what steps should we take to rebuild? |
t3_3dxfnc | relationships | Me [28/M] want to take friendship/"co-worker-ship" [27/F] to the next step. | I have got a crush on a co-worker. She is pretty, smart, well educated(better than me anyways), extremely trustworthy and I feel less socially anxious when I'm around her, i.e. she has a very positive influence on me.
I have known her for about one and a half year, however, we work shifts, wich means I've seen her maybe 14 times over that period of time. She does her studies abroad, and works when she is home.
I am extremely bad at giving signs/flirting, but not as bad as I am at reading them. However, the other day we went out and grabbed some after-work beers. There was some unneccecary touching from her side, wich if I'm correct, is a womans way of showing some interest. Also, when she hugs me it's the full-body, both arms around the neck hugs.
The problem is she is the kind of girl who is "one of the guys", so it may just be I'm reading all these signs wrong. And if I make a move, the friendship may be over, and if we get paired on shifts, it can make for some really awkward shifts.
She is going away for a year to study(wich means it's possible to let this blow over if I mess it up), but wanted to join me in Thailand over christmas holiday, and had me install something called "viber" to stay in touch.
Instead of idling trying to read her signs, I figured I would ask you guys for a) is it worth the risk? and more importanly b) how do I signal an interest in her without neccecarily ... signal an interrest. I feel like I have my legs in two different camps. On the plus side, this is a temporary job for both of us, on the negative side, she wanted to move halfway across the globe to open a diving shop together(wich I'm guessing is out the window if I make a move and she shoots it down). | I am interested in a co-worked, and I think she might be the same. Is it worth the risk to move forward, and if so, how do I proceed? |
t3_1wb9jq | legaladvice | Defamation of Character [MD] | So I'll make this as short and succinct as possible. I work in a field governed by a state agency (i.e. you must be state licensed to work in the field.)
I disagreed with a coworker's decisions at a job site and wrote a complaint to his employer detailing the incident and how I felt like he made some incorrect decisions. When he heard that his employer was holding a hearing to take care of the matter he filed false charges against me with the state board. I am currently under investigation by the state for these wrongful allegations.
Sorry I haven't revealed the field of work or the exact circumstances but it would make me easily identifiable in the community in which I work.
Do I have the potential for defamation of character lawsuit? Maryland is a state that recognizes defamation per se if my reading is correct. Can someone really explain that to me? I think I understand it but I just want to make sure. | Someone made false accusations about me to the state and I'm under investigation. Is there potential for a defamation of character lawsuit? |
t3_1llyb9 | relationships | My live-in boyfriend [m/29] has been cruising craigslist casual encounters and admitted to responding to ads while I [23/f] was out of town for work. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and live together with a small dog. We have had a fairly rocky time together, but we love each other deeply. I have never had any reason not to trust him in terms of fidelity until today.
Driving around today looking to find out which restaurants are open on labour day, I used his phone to do a google search. The browser automatically opened up to the last closed link which was a craigslist casual encounters ad. His history was listed below in plain site: he had been looking at several ads every day for weeks.
When I asked him about it he minimized and lied all the way through, however all the evidence was in front of me: he had been going to CL for months every day, had set up an "alias" email, and has responded to at least one ad while I was out of town for work asking to meet up with a woman who was "only in town for a few hours". He admits to cruising, but denies that he met up with anyone, or that he has slept with anyone but me throughout the course of our relationship.
Several months ago I caught him with an open "incognito" window on Google chrome, displaying two or three plenty of fish accounts. While I was upset, I let him know that as long as he never did that again I would be willing to forget it happened. For this reason I feel hesitant to forgive him, and I have no idea how to deal with the new information. We are definitely financially intertwined at the moment, which makes it hard for me to up and leave.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This is my first LTR and I have never faced this issue.
===== | My long-term boyfriend who lives with me has been cruising craigslist and admits to responding to at least one ad. He has been caught cruising before. Is this cheating? What should I do! |
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