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t3_lcea8 | AskReddit | So my friend was ruled "at fault" for a car collision this morning. What do you guys think? | Story:
So as always, my friend (17 and under New Jersey restricted license) picked me up at my house in the morning and we drove to school. As we go along, we make conversation.
Coming up to the light, we cruise into the left lane (left turn only) and come up behind a red sedan. It is, at this time, currently a protected left turn (left green arrow) and he turns in. My friend follows him (at this point in time, there is still a left turn green arrow) while the cars on the opposite side begin accelerating.
Lots of things start happening at the same time:
* My friend begins turning in
* The car on the opposite lane (the furthest lane) begins accelerating and realizes that we are in the middle of the road
* That car swerves and hits the car waiting at the red light (we are turning onto that road)
Post collision:
* The man in the opposite lane tells the cop that he had a green light
* My friend tells the cop that we had a protected left turn.
The cop ruled it my friend's fault, even though we both know that it was a protected left turn.
My question to AskReddit: Who was actually at fault here? (bypassing the obvious fact that the lights shouldn't have a protected turn as well as a green light for the oncoming traffic) | involved in a collision. We had protected left turn, he claims he had a green light. He struck a lady's car trying to swerve out of the way. Who was at fault? |
t3_4n4i6n | relationships | I[23F] am worried about my friend[21M] of 4 years who has suddenly stopped responding to my messages but I could be over reacting. Don't know what to do. | okay so we used to be close and see each other frequently. Last year that became more like once every three months but recently we started seeing each other again and we talked about personal stuff. Like he wants to kill himself but he seems to have been pulling himself through and finding stuff to distract from the depression. Anyway so I sent him a message a week ago that he never replied to and I'm a little worried. My theories so far are:
He doesn't want to talk to people,
He doesn't want to talk to me,
His battery has been dead for a long time,
He lost his phone,
He has no credit,
He changed his number,
He is dead.
I know it's silly but it's not like him to not respond. No matter how he has felt in the past, he's never just ignored a message. So I want to send him another message but one that doesn't sound creepily attached or clingy. Or maybe I should call but calling is not something we ever did or maybe I should do a pretend pocket dial? That sounds creepy though. And my number is private which makes it even creepier. Basically what I'm asking is what do I say in the text message? My other question is how much am I overreacting? | What do I say to somebody I am worried about who hasn't responded to a previous text over text message that sounds non clingy? |
t3_2fihzk | tifu | TIFU By Putting IcyHot On My Ballsack [NSFW] | Whelp, this is how it started:
I was in the locker room at a local gym with some friends. We know each other very well and one of my friends had one a IcyHot roller thing. One of my friends needed it and applied it to his skin. Then one of the five guys decided that "we need to all get some and put it on our dicks."
So we did. We were already in a circle and we each rolled three or four times on our hands. Then we applied them to our ballsack. Immediately 1 of the guys was flipping out, laughing and such.
I thought it didn't work on me because I didn't feel anything. Then it set in. It hurt like A MOTHER FUCKER. Don't get me wrong, the cold felt great, but holy shit. When it got hot...I wanted to cut my balls off.
So yes. Here are five guys in a public locker room in a popular gym acting like little kids. It was honestly the worst pain I have ever felt down in that region.
I do not have an STD and if they feel ANYTHING like that, then I never, ever want one.
It lasted for about 1 hour and all of our balls were bright red like a Christmas tree. | long story short, we didn't work out due to our ball sacks being on fire. 2/10 would do it again. |
t3_2nu0na | loseit | Need help with a diet plan! | Hey y'all. I'm a 240-245lb 5'9" 17 year old. I play football so I do have a decent amount of muscle on my body, but I need to get rid of the fat, and I've always had the excuse of being a offensive/defensive lineman for me being chunky. But I want to start looking good for college in FLORIDA. I have the motivation I just need the organization to start my New Years Resolution a month early to make this goal a habit!
Needless to say, I need help planning a diet. I already lift everyday with a steady schedule but I never have any luck finding good diet plans. I want to build muscle (specifically get more cut) and lose a lot of fat. My goal is to be 190-200lbs by the beginning of summer/end of spring.
I'm new to reddit as well, and I've seen this thread a lot but I've been nervous posting but fuck it.. I'm ready to stop looking like a fat slob. Thank you all. | I need help with an organized high protein diet that meets the 2484 caloric deficit I need, but supplies me with the adequate energy that can get me through a long day of school/lifting/work. |
t3_3v2itm | relationships | I [19 M] think I have a chance with my longtime high school crush [19 F] now that she is visiting me and our mutual friend now that we are in college, but I have absolutely NO idea how to go about it. | Okay so some backstory:
I crushed on this girl hard for the last two years of high school. I worked up the balls to ask her to homecoming and she said yes. We had a great time but I pussied out and didn't make a move. Fast forward a few months and it looks like I missed my chance, she started dating someone else. Oh well, I moved on.
Fast forward again to now, she is visiting me and our mutual friend at college. We have been texting and giving each other calls consistently over these first few months of college (frequently when we are both very drunk). Now she is here and we have arrangements to eat dinner at my dining hall with our friend. I thought I would take some initiative and invite her to come check out my dorm room and chill for a bit after dinner. She responded with "Yeeeees!" I think that is a good sign? What do you guys think? Do you think she is interested?
A quit note I forgot to mention: I asked a friend of hers if I ever had a chance with her before she started dating the other guy in high school and she said yes.
The problem: I have never kissed a girl and don't know where to even start. I hit puberty at like 17 years old or some bullshit like that and I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to girls even though I have noticed some girls noticing me now that my body is looking closer to my age.
I would greatly appreciate and advice on what to do/say or how/when/if to make a move. Thank you very much in advance! | Maybe have a chance with my old high school crush, but have no experience whatsoever with girls and have no idea what I'm going to do when we hang out tonight. |
t3_2l5ycm | relationships | My [20/M] girlfriend [18/F] of 1 year won't let me pay for anything. Ever. | Hey, r/Relationships. Throwaway because she's on reddit too.
We've been dating for a while, and it's great. She's an amazing girl. I'm in university while she's in junior college now. I don't have a source of income, other than my parents. In my country, it's not normal to work while you're studying, since education is mostly free.
Her family is richer than mine is, so she gets more allowance than I do on a weekly basis. Whenever I try to buy her food or a gift, she insists on paying me back. When she buys me stuff, however, she won't let me try to pay her at all.
I just want to spoil her a little bit. Any time we talk about money, she gets embarrassed and tries to change the subject. I love her a lot, but it's making me a bit annoyed. I'd like to be the one showering her with gifts, instead of the other way around. She keeps telling me to save the money for the future instead of 'wasting' it on her. But it's not a waste to me if it makes her happy or surprises her. Seeing that smile on her face makes it worth the money ten times over.
Reddit, how do I go about talking to her about this without making her feel uncomfortable?
Thanks in advance. | Girlfriend doesn't want me to buy her stuff because her family is richer than mine. I want to buy her things. Help! |
t3_27lsxc | relationships | Me [22 F] I have issues asking someone if they're into me. | Long story short, Back in middle school and high school I was made fun of for telling my crush at the time that I liked him (he was my first crush) by my whole class, also including him. Got over him, but in the back of my mind I was afraid to put myself out there again because of what happened before. After that, every guy I've had feelings for ended up asking me if I liked them, and well, to say the least the friendship would always be lost. Until I turned 18. I had my first boyfriend (I gave him everything, first kiss, first everything...) and that ended with him cheating on me twice (one with some random girl online and the other with my ex-best friend, they had a relationship while we were dating, it didn't end well). Now there's this new guy I like, I think he likes me back (but wouldn't know) and I'm afraid to start liking him because of my previous luck with other guys. Am I just being paranoid for holding on the past or what should I do? Some advice would be really appreciated. | I've had bad luck with dating realm, and I'm afraid to put myself out there. Am I being paranoid for asking a guy if he likes me? |
t3_ru4zx | relationships | We don't always fight, but when we do it's about living together... | Me (23, f) bf (26) have been official for a year and a half -plus another year and a half before that we were on and off because I was 10 hours away at school. We love eachother very much and rarely fight, but when we do it's always about living together.
Background...
He owns a house, has had it for about 2 years. He has a male roommate upstairs with him and a couple in a separate downstairs apartment. Since graduation I have been living back at home with mom. Mom and I don't get along so it's been pretty miserable for me.
The Issue...
Usually I go to his house Friday afternoon and don't come back home until Sunday night. And while I love spending the weekend there it gets pretty annoying having to lug all my stuff back and forth. I do have a toothbrush there, a loofa in the shower, and as of a couple weeks ago he gave me 2 drawers of his dresser.
I have been so ready to move in with him for months, and he knows it (though I try not to be pushy, just subtle hints every so often). But he is not ready. His reason is "he just likes living alone."
Even though me hating living with my mom is definitely a factor, it's a very small part of why I want to move in with him. I love waking up next to eachother, making dinner together, and silly things like that. Am I being too much of a romantic thinking he should feel the same way by now, and if he doesn't then maybe we aren't meant to be together?
I've tried to just let things be and I keep telling myself it'll happen eventually. But at what point is enough, enough? When do I stop giving in and just give up? Because if he doesn't want to live with me by now, what is going to make him ready in the future? | My boyfriend of a year and a half still doesn't want me to move in with him. When is enough, enough? |
t3_unwc7 | relationships | Girl I'm seeing won't say she loves me. Still want to ask her to be my GF. Help. | Situation: I've (23m) been seeing this girl (23f) for about two months now. We hang out at least once every 5 days, sometimes sooner. Whatever we do we always have fun and she tells me that I am really fun to be around. Everyday we text each other and it's really the only time I have ever truly enjoyed texting someone. We text about random shit, kid around with each other, and have a trend to text each dirty/mushy stuff at night.
I like this girl a lot, in fact, I like her so much that I decided to tell her that I loved her. I'm not sure if she was shocked when I said that but her response was that she cares about me a whole lot and that she would be extremely upset if anything ever happened to me. She said that she thought to herself if she loved me and went on to say everything she liked about me, but she never said it back.
Fast forward 2 weeks and I decided to invite her to a big family/friend party I'm having. Shes only met my immediately family and one of my close friends. There will be A LOT of my family there and also all of my close friends. I really want to introduce her to everybody as my GF, but don't know if I should tell her that or not. I really don't want to go around to all my family and say "This is my friend, Sarah" I much rather say "this is my girlfriend, Sarah".
I really like this girl a lot and just do not want to mess anything up by asking her to be my girlfriend. | Girl I am seeing didn't say I love you back when I dropped the L-bomb. Having a family/friend party soon and want to introduce her as my GF. Is it dangerous to ask her to be my GF? |
t3_3iq107 | tifu | TIFU by going into wrong changing room | So today i went to shopping mall with my girlfriend. She wanted to buy some new clothes and stuff.
As you might imagine i was extremely bored (oh god do i hate shopping) and went to jewellery store to check out some wrist watches. In the meantime my girlfriend was trying on some shirts in adjoining shop. Nothing caught my eye in the jewellery store so i went back to join my gf.
I enter the clothes shop and i see a row of changing rooms(10+). I see my girlfriend going into one(which i remembered). While going there a funny hat with a fan on top(never seen something like this lol) caught my eye. I'm usually trying to mess around so i took it and went to changing rooms.
So now. I open the doors to changing room my gf entered, put hat on, go in and say:
"How do you like your Budgie the Little Helicopter?" while striking the most stereotypical sexy pose i can pull off (covering my eyes with peak and stuff) - ye 23 year old guy thought it's a good idea.
Then i already see that something is wrong "well these are not legs of my girlfriend". What i saw was a half naked woman in her late 50s looking at me. I was stunned and paralysed. This felt like an eternity but probably lasted few seconds. She slapped me and literally threw me out of changing room right where my girlfriend was standing looking at me.
That must be the most awkward and embarrassing event in my whole life. God damn i still cringe when i think about this. I think i need a therapist. | i mistaken changing rooms and went into one with 50 year old woman while wearing a hat with fan on top pretending to be sexy Budgie the Little Helicopter. |
t3_4y9ma3 | relationships | I [19 F] think social media is ruining my relationship (Boyfriend is [21 M]). | We've been dating for almost a year, but things have been a little rocky with us the last few weeks. I was recently diagnosed with depression and high anxiety but I refuse to take anti-depressants because I had a bad reaction to Prozac and I just don't want to be on medication.
We fight every once in a while, as most couples do. But today the fight was a little different. I was searching through who he follows on Instagram (looking for an account that I wanted to see about Tiny Houses) and I realized that he follows a couple of accounts that post pictures of half-naked girls. I get that this is a guy thing but it really struck a nerve with me because I can't help but compare myself to these other girls and think that I'm not what he wants.
So I brought it up and he was defensive obviously but this was an argument of my own insecurities. He threatened to leave and I cried and he told me to stop crying. We hugged and everything was okay, but he was giving me the cold shoulder. For 2 hours he stayed at my house and wouldn't talk to me, look at me, touch me, or even acknowledge my existence. When I asked why, he said he was "sitting" and had "nothing to say."
He left a little while after and gave me a cold hug. I said "see ya" on his way out and he looked angry and left. When I asked why there was no kiss, he kissed me on the cheek, mumbled I love you and then left. Now he won't answer his phone.
I understand he's probably upset and needs space but I guess Im looking so see if theres anything I can do in the meantime to make it better. I feel that he's getting sick of the little arguments and is probably getting fed up. I just want a healthy relationship with him and I feel like Im trying too hard. | Boyfriend won't talk to me and has been giving me the silent treatment after a fight. What should I do? (Besides give him space). |
t3_2wvwq4 | relationships | Should I be concerned about the non-existent relationship between me [26 F] and my mother [54 F] | My parents broke up when I still a baby, and my mother left me to be raised by my father and his parents and family. I had a very happy childhood and honestly, never felt like anything was missing. My father's family would tell me stories about my mother and her family, and everything they told me portrayed her in a good light. So it's not like I grew to dislike her or anything. She would occasionally call me and when I was seven, she visited and spent the day with me (she moved to a different country after the break up). As I've said, these circumstances never upset me or made me look at her askance. When she'd call, it would be like hearing from a fun aunt in a distant, exciting place.
I visited her once when I was 16, and we've spoken on the phone a handful of times. The last time we spoke was last year when she called me to wish me a Happy New Year. I said I'd call
her again soon and then...I never got around to doing it. The thing is, there is no sense of urgency to do so, and that seems to be the dynamic between us.
I wonder how healthy this is, and if I eventually come to regret this. As things stand, if I was to hear that she died, I don't think I'd be able to summon any tears. Sure, I'd feel sad, but it would be the emotion I'd reserve for a really nice neighbor. Should I make more effort to build up a more intense relationship with my mother, or just let things continue to go as they've been? | Should I make an effort to establish a more intense relationship with my mother, with whom I share a very casual, wishy-washy relationship? |
t3_2d0kmu | relationships | I [18 M] don't know if I should continue long distance with my [18 F] girlfriend. | I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months now. However we both graduated and are going to different countries, the US for her and the UK for me. I believed it would work until recently. She got drunk and although she didn't do anything with anyone else, she told me that when she was drunk she was sad when guys left her. She said when she was drunk she almost wished something would happen and that she was afraid she couldn't stop herself if it did.
Everything's been working quite well except I don't know if I'm up for long distance. We may only be able to see each other once or twice a year and I do believe its possible, but that belief is not as strong as it once was I guess. | Basically, I just wanna know what you think I should do. Keep trying long distance or break up if I don't 100% believe in it? |
t3_2r36tk | relationships | 24 F here. Clueless about signs or hints if 21 M is interested. I feel like a noobie. | Met 21 M guy at school for a school project, let's call him Jacob. I thought he was cute...but didn't pursue anything because I felt like he's out of my league. Added each other on Facebook because all of us had a great time being in the same group for the project and thought we keep in touch at the very least through social media since the semester ended.
He invited me over for a party and told me to bring some friends so it won't be awkward for me just hanging with him and his friends (about 3 of them). So I went and I brought some friends (I brought 2 friends). It was fun and I met new people that day. It wasn't like a typical college party. His parents were there for a while and left to go to a nearby pub for the countdown and left the house to us. It was a simple get together. We played cards against humanity and beer pong all night. Didn't leave until 4am.
I didn't think much about it since I thought he just wanted to invite as many people as he could over for new years eve. But my friends kept telling me that guys don't just invite anybody over. And they said that guys don't just bring a girl over to meet his family. And that he barely even knows me so they were betting that he is interested and trying to get to know me more?
I thought it was just a friendly gesture. But it is true that we barely talked to each other or know anything about each other. He was always the first to initiate conversations on Facebook. Usually about what I posted on my time line.
I am interested but I was dead sure I would be rejected. My self esteem isn't all that great. Can r/relationships tell me what are some tell-tale signs that he is interested? Are there any ways I can find out if he is interested without blatantly asking. I don't want to make a fool out of myself...and if he isn't interested, I want to maintain this friendship and not let it get awkward. :( what do. | OP has a crush but doesn't know how to find out if it's mutual. Friends say he is interested, but my cautious brain is telling me to not over think it. What do. |
t3_2yrij9 | relationships | Me [15 M] caught my mom [39 F] cheating on my Dad. I'm scared I might lose my family. | Let me start with some background information.
My mom has been divorced about 3 times in her lifetime. My biological father divorced my mother when I was 3 years old, so it didn't impact my life that much. When I became 9 years old, my mom remarried with another guy which is my father right now. I really love this guy, he's taken care of me, been there for me, and gave me inspiration to do good at school. All my friends love him too because he doesn't speak very good English (hes tagalog). Overall, a really great guy but of course, not the most perfect father.
Alright, here's the story.
Two days ago, my mom picked me up from play practice, and we had our normal conversation like how was school... I ended the conversation by asking to use her phone (i dont have a phone) and to turn on the radio. Alright cool, so I head onto her phone and I was very skeptical about our auntie who had just went through Carpal Tunnel Surgery, so I check her messages. I go on her messages and I see this guy that I never seen in my lifetime. Secretly, I clicked on their messages and oh my god.. They were talking in Tagalog so I didn't understand but I'm sure the person said that she should file a petition or divorce (not familiar with divorce). They kept sweet talking each other by giving each other "online" kisses. I was sweating bullets and scared that I might actually lose my family and most importantly, the dad that was there for me. I lost all respect for my mother. My dad is a great guy, he doesn't deserve this at all.
Should I confront my mom about this? I've been trying to avoid her as much as I can. | mom picked me up from school, asked to use her phone, checked messages, she's planning a divorce with my dad, really scared I might lose family, need help |
t3_1as59o | AskReddit | Reddit, do you live with a disabled person? (Parent, sibling, SO, or otherwise) How do you deal with it? | Hey guys, I doubt I'll get much traffic on this since its midnight but I just had to get this out. I live with my mom (its just us two) and she's disabled. She has peripheral naropathy in her legs. Basically, they're numb from the knees down, but with chronic inner pain constantly. She's had it about 10 years now.
At first, she dealt with it and got around alright. Now it's to the point where she's on large doses of pain killers and barely gets around with a cane. I love my mom dearly, but she has become the most bitter, miserable person I know. She's always so mad about how she feels, about having barely enough money to get by, about her life in general.
My question is, do you have someone like this in your life? And if so, how do you deal with it? After this long you'd think I would be used to it, but I'm not. In fact it's to the point I hate being home and our once strong relationship is dying. She used to be my best friend, but now she's just a source of pain and grief to me. I feel selfish for feeling this way because I can't imagine how hard it is for her, but its really hard for me to see her like this and to be around the misery all the time. I'm a generally happy person, but when I'm around her I just feel like total shit. And I can't say anything to her about it because no matter how it comes out, it gets spun that I'm selfish for being this way and should feel bad for her. And she just gets more depressed. I feel like the only answer is just to get out of this house and live somewhere else. Unfortunately that is not financially possible for me at the moment. Anybody have some insight for me? | Mom (who I live with) is disabled and miserable. Which makes me miserable. And I feel selfish for feeling miserable about her. |
t3_4xvwq7 | loseit | How to deal w/ saggy skin + boobs while still young ? | Hello reddit,
I **(23F 5'11" SW:280 CW:187)** have gained about 100 pounds when I was 16/17 (I was already a little overweight at that time) and after getting my shit together lost it in 8 months, 1year and a half later. I know the way I lost it was unhealthy af but I was young and stupid.
**Right now I'm still 15 to 20 pounds overweight** but overall I'm managing to balance my weight with nutrition and doing sports at least twice a week.
Thing is, as much as I came to terms with my body now, it **inhibits me sexually and intimately**. My boobs went up and down 2 or 3 cups and aren't "round" anymore but just sagging, my butt is covered in cellulitis together with my thighs.
Overall there is a lot of excessive jiggly skin and stretchmarks and there's only so much you can do with sports. I look like I'm 30 years older from the neck down.
The "problem" is how do I "deal" with this when having sex ? Obviously sympathy and passion stands over the pure physical but atm I only want something casual and don't want to feel like a fraud if I undress and am not as curvy and in shape as it appears or my face suggests.
I've gotten pictures of very hot guys I wrote with which is intimidating as much as delightful. Putting BBW on a dating profile doesn't really match my figure either. It's more a slight chubby type and from weight and height alone you wouldn't know.
Thanks in advance for any advice or experiences. | Rapidly gained and lost ~100 pounds when I was 16 - 18 and now my body looks like I'm 30 years older. But dressed I look attractive which makes me feel like a "fraud" until the clothes come off. |
t3_k4zmn | relationships | How do you end something that isn't at the finish? | Hi,
I've been with my girlfriend for about three years now. We met at the start of University, and she graduated in July. I have a fourth year, and she is roughly 200 miles away. We both love each other, and she has no concept (I don't think) that I'm having doubts.
To be honest, we've been together so long, we've both changed dramatically. I do love her, she's an incredible girl, but at 21, I know for a fact that I need to have more life experience before I can look at something longer time. I want to be single, and I'd like to have my last University year free/single, without worrying about an LDR. She's also planning on travelling for a 6 month period halfway through the year, during which she'll be nearly uncontactable.
What do you think reddit? I want to break it off, but I have no fucking clue how to phrase it. She's not some girl who I'm bored of and I can just dismiss, I love her, and I can't think of a way to tell her that (essentially), I don't see a long term future for us and want to have a year of fun.
I'm conscious she's gone back home, and she hasn't got many close friends there. I've got a great support network, and personally feel I'll 'cope' better with the break-up. Her mum is a bitch, and her sister (who she's very close to) has just started University this September. | Been with a girl for 3 years. I want to break it off. Still love her and unsure as to how. |
t3_4fpr2u | relationships | Me [19f] with my new bf [21m], together for 4 months. Afraid he will break up with me, too | I was left about a year ago by my ex boyfriend. He said all the cliches, "it's not you, it's me". He told me that he wanted to break up after a year of being together because he feels like he wants to be single right now. He showed no warning signs of a break-up before his text (yes, he broke up with me via text). It obviously took me some time to get over him but now I don't feel anything towards him anymore, totally over him.
Anyhow, I have been officially dating my new boyfriend for about 4 months now. I feel so happy in the relationship. However, I can't help but to feel scared that my new boyfriend will dump me, too, with no warning signs beforehand whatsoever. How can I deal with this? He's very affectionate and tells me I'm very important to him. I shouldn't be to worried about him breaking up with me. I still am and it makes me so stressed out. | last boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue because he wanted to be single again. Now scared that my new boyfriend will do the same. |
t3_ukjsa | AskReddit | how to stop snoring? | So, I am a fairly heavy sleeper and if I can get to sleep first usually I can get about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. If he goes to sleep first, chances are that I only get about 3 hours of sleep collectively. In the morning at about 7 or 8 when I wake up from either the sensitivity I have from light or from having to pee (I'm pregnant) and then try to go back to sleep, there's no use. His snoring is consistently loud, and there's no break in it. I have tried to have him roll over because I've noticed it does happen more on his back. He also snores on his side, stomach, and I'm pretty sure he would sitting up. Sometimes if he is conscious about his snoring before he goes to bed he doesn't do it as much. He's tried to take a shower before bed to help. ( that was not helpful at all, if anything it relaxed him more and made him sound like Chewbacca) He recently put a fan in the room and he even drowns that out. It is making it so I can't sleep and then in the morning I just become overly annoyed with him and grouchy because I got no sleep. Aside from that my hormones are out of control from being pregnant so I'm more irritable than usual, I know hard to fathom a female being moody, and I'm exhausted all the time so I really need my sleep. So, I've been sleeping at my own apartment lately to get sleep or moving to his couch in the living room to avoid his obnoxious snoring. He moves in with me in a couple months and it has got to stop. Any suggestions? | my boyfriend snores a lot. I can't sleep. I'm pregnant so I need extra sleep. Have tried different positions, shower at night, nothing works. Suggestions? |
t3_1ny7ic | legaladvice | Louisiana: Question About Attorney for Public Intoxication | I managed to get arrested for Public Intoxication last week. My charges are Public Intoxication and Disturbing the Peace. Both charges are municipal misdemeanors. I want to hire an attorney to take care of it with the goal of getting the charges dismissed and keeping it off my record as much as possible. I have seen two attorneys and need your advice on whom to choose.
Attorney A: Is asking a flat fee of $750 per a charge for a total of $1500. He is a dwi attorney who says he handles many PI charges. He is a young guy with his own firm and at least one associate, has a nice office, and a nice website. Tells me the charges are dismissed roughly 90-95% of the time, and then we try to get the record expunged. He did give the impression of someone who does this a lot and he did give me confidence in his ability to handle it.
Attorney B: Is asking for $250 total. Recommended from a friend who says the attorney did a good job of taking care of his dwi. Has no website and possibly no office (I met him at a local restaurant/bar where I told him about my case). He spent less time discussing the process with me than attorney A. Nothing about him struck as not being a qualified lawyer, but I'm wondering about the price difference, etc...
I'm interested in having this taken care of as well as possible. Should I hire attorney A or is this such a straight forward case that any attorney should be able to handle it. Am I paying extra for attorney A's office and advertising or is it possible that he is more qualified? My goal is to get this handled as well as possible. If there is possibly a difference in quality, then I would be willing to pay more.
I understand that you don't fully know each attorney's qualifications, but any thoughts or advice would be helpful. | Is there a difference in attorney's abilities to handle a Public Intoxication charge, or is it straight forward enough that any attorney would be about the same? |
t3_41fhtj | relationships | Me [21 F] with my BF [26 M] 6 mo, getting his friends to like me? | I'm a college graduated elementary paraprofessional dating a non-college metal singer. I love him and although we come from different backgrounds we truly get along well.
The issue I'm having is how to get along well with his friends. His friends are all part of the metal crowd and are quite different from people I am used to socializing with.
They are all a few years older than me, many never went to college, and they mostly work in hourly retail jobs. Clearly, we have very, very little in common.
I feel that many of his friends (particularly one of his bandmates) don't like me because I appear so much more "mainstream". I've gone to many metal parties with him and have gone to all of his concerts since we started dating so it's not like I don't participate in that culture, I just don't feel at all accepted.
I try talking to his friends and bandmates and I'm not super outgoing so it's not a forced, annoying conversation, just a casual "How are you? What did you do this weekend?" type thing, but I always feel blown-off and sometimes outright ignored even though I know they heard me.
I've talked to my boyfriend about this and he has acknowledged that a few of his friends have indeed been treating me with a cold shoulder, although he has provided no reason for their behavior.
He's been very kind and understanding about the situation and even offered to talk to them about their behavior but I don't want to be seen as the girlfriend who is complaining about his friends on top of whatever they already think of me.
Do I just need to make peace with this situation or is there anything I can do to try and make better friends with his friends? | Boyfriend lives in the metal world, I do not. His friends seem to shun me for it. What do I do? |
t3_4ltn2w | relationships | Me [26 M] with my parents/immediate-family cannot stop anyone from hating me. | I've recently moved overseas and am building my life from scratch. My parents are divorced for 4 years after a very ugly legal battle and 27 years of marriage (12 of which was practically without love). I've had a little bit of savings, a lot of sacrifices and extremely stressful situation.
I cant get my parents to stop hating me for being like the other. I cant even get my uncles or cousins to stop throwing hurtful comments at the first sight of disagreement (stop talking to me like your father, this is so your mother in you shes so bla*hate*bla). I've made an intervention, asked not to blame the son for the parents' mistakes. Im trying to get an isolated grasp of my life but at each step with emotional blackmail they get under my skin only to boil it from the inside. Its basically a family business gone extremely bad and everyone fighting both legally and physically to claw what last fortune that remains.
I was bred/raised to take over a certain part of the family business but in my late teens/early adulthood I decided I wanted to pursue my own fate under my own interests with my own passions (wanted to be a software engineer/computer engineer instead of an accountant/Business). Finally I got a job overseas under %100 my own efforts both by skill and sometimes a little charm. I feel like a succesful human being yet I cannot enjoy any minute of my life because I have to compensate for a family member whom I've stopped caring 10 years ago.
I thought this was like a rebel phase and thats why I was angry all the time but after consideration my anger is logical since the people thats supposed to be the closest and must understanding spew hate at each step I take forwards causing me to stumble a step or even two.
I am extremely lonely now that im away from all my friends and \**sigh*\* 'family'. But im still caught in the middle of a large battle. I feel defeated. I am sad and depressed all the time. Sorry im being too melodramatic but I feel extremely cornered all the time and think to myself "is this really worth it?".
Feel free to downvote this since I might just be another entitled brat. I cant even tell. | My parents and their families hate each other, especially me the offspring of hate. I cant take it anymore. Nothing I do works. |
t3_39xhny | relationships | Me [23F] with my BF [26M] of over a year: he's moving and it's turning me into a maniac! Help? | Hello Reddit! I browse this thread often, and have finally reached a point where I'm ready to seek advice for myself.
I've been dating my wonderful, amazing boyfriend for a little over a year. We're both very happy people and are doing quite well for our ages, if I do say so myself. It's not like either of us had terrible lives and we "saved" each other. We were pretty content before, but finding each other made everything a million times better. In some ways, I'd even say we have the perfect relationship.
He recently got the opportunity to move for a fantastic job opportunity and I could not be more supportive of him, happy for him, and proud of him. We'll be in separate cities about 2 hours apart. It's not impossible by any means, however, the thought of him leaving sends me into tears every time it crosses my mind. Mind you, I'm no more emotional than the average person. I have wonderful friends, a stable job, I'm in an MA program, and I have tons of hobbies and things to keep me busy. This guy is a huge part of my life, but he is in no way my only source of happiness.
My issue is, how do I cope with this? I'm tearing up thinking about it as I type this out. I know he wants to stay together. We've talked about it a million times and we're both on the same page. We see a future together ... even marriage within the next 2 years. But how do I stop being so dumb and start being an adult about it? Does anyone have any coping strategies, encouragement or experience with this?
Typing this out is making me realize how silly I am for feeling this way, when in reality everything is fine, I just don't know how I'm going to get through this at the moment. Am I co-dependent? Or just really really bad at dealing with change? | Wonderful relationship - he's moving away and everything is fine, but it's making me realize how co-dependent I am. How do I deal? |
t3_28q7if | relationships | Rebound relationships? [18M] with [18F] | It's hard to describe the situation so i'll tell you all the full story.
Two weeks ago I was on my senior trip at disney world, I started hanging out with a new group of people where I go to know this girl, who we will call "CJ". CJ had just had a messy break up with her boyfriend who's been cheating on her for the past couple months and her friends decided it'd be a cool idea to hook me and CJ up with each other.
We ended up kissing while watching fireworks the second to last night, and on the last day before we got on separate planes to go back home.
Since we got back we've made out at my house a couple times, and at her grad party, as well as the party we were at last night. One of her friends told me that CJ talks about me all the time now instead of her ex, and that I make her very happy. aaaand right now it's heavily implied sex will probably happen at some point in the near future. We've both discussed what kind of relationship we got going on here and neither of us really know, but agreed we shouldn't let it bother us and over complicate things, and just go with it and enjoy it.
However, apparently CJ is beginning to question what exactly we have going on here again. And to be honest I actually really like CJ, she's a really cool person with a great personality, she's smart and beautiful. But then again I caught her as a rebound and she probably still has feelings for her ex, so I feel like i should tread lightly. Another factor is that we're both attending the same college in the fall, and her friends suggested that there's always the possibility that this "relationship" can probably continue there.
So basically I have no idea what I should do or how I should feel about this. The only thing I can piece together is that this is a rebound, and things moved way too fast. So what should I do? | Hooked up with a girl who recently broke up her boyfriend and caught the full rebound. Have feelings for her already, things escalated quickly, the situation is weird. help |
t3_2selvw | tifu | TIFU by nudging a friend on the bus | Last week I ran into my friend A on the bus. A and I go way back, and we had talked about her job and where she was going. Today on the bus, she sits down next to me without noticing who I am. I nudge her a little hard in the ribs and say hey. She smiles awkwardly.
I say, "Do you always ride this bus?" She says, "Sometimes." I say something else, she smiles, turns away and ignores me.
I'm like, okay, she's not a morning person. Go back to watching a College Humor video on tipping. Guess what, it's a bullshit thing that shirks responsibility off employers.
Back to the bus. Later I take off my headphones and ask her about her job. "Written anything lately?"
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?"
Fuck. It all becomes clear. She only looks like A from the side! It's not A at all! She just has one of those damn faces!
I say, "Oh shit. I'm sorry! You totally look like my friend A! You must be really weirded out now. You have a doppelganger."
She kind of smiles and turns away. Awkward silence ensues while everyone else kind of cringes for me on the bus. She gets off. I wrote an email to A. She laughs.
Sad part? This is the second time I've done this to someone who was not A. Seriously, one of those goddamn similar faces! | Jabbed a stranger in the ribs thinking it was my friend on the bus. Attempted small talk until she asked who I was. |
t3_3eb97p | relationships | Me [25 M] was in relationship with [21 F]. We had really good month and half with each other but now she wants to break up because she thinks she is not prepared because of a previous abusive relationship. I need some advice how to cope with this break up. | I met her through a mutual friend. We went out quite few times with friends before I learned she had a crush on me. I never had a relationship before, had more or less accepted my loneliness and then suddenly I realized life isn't all bad. We started going out, soon my feelings got really stronger for her and she reciprocated those feelings.
Now after dating for almost month and half, she feels that she is not prepared for a relationship due to an abusive previous relationship. The feelings we shared before suddenly seems to disappear and it feels like she is a different person now.
I had a lonely life before I met her but still I was happy. Now, thought of not having her makes me cringe. She is the best friend I had, I have trouble being affectionate with other people but with her it was super easy. We have discussed to not let go of our friendship but still I feel empty.
I cannot stop thinking about her and have trouble coping with this. | Girlfriend wants to break up because of a previous abusive relationship. I am struggling and not sure how to cope with this. |
t3_344f7i | relationships | Me[26/f]with my bf[34/m] of 3 months, his many past relationships and being very good at reading people bugs me | My bf and i have been together for 3 months now. We've known each other for almost a year, i was with someone else the time we met so it didn't go any further than friends.
He is a great guy and very good at relationships. Was very discreet and gentleman when we were only friends, and super passionate once we started officially dating. He is 8 years older than I am, and had a lot of relationships in the past. Like a typical italian, he started having a gf when he was only 11.
When we were only friends he told me he had 7 memorable relationships, whilst I had only two major ones that lasted less than 7 months. Now he rephrases that he had 2 major relationships that lasted 2 and 4 years.
I am nobody that is jealous or who likes to pick on the past. Past is past. He really loves me now and i love him, he is very commited and is bringing me back to Italy in a month, he introduces me to his friends openly and his mothers knows me quite a lot. But I have this insecurity: his love, his feelings and his sweet gestures/words might just be a repetition of what he had felt in the past(typical italian stuff)...He has always been the one to end the relation, would he just suddenly one day stop feeling it and decide to move on?
Also he is very good at studying people, self studied behaviour psychology and can read me pretty well in general. I like mystery but he just want to know anything about me, which bugs me a bit too. | Me[26/f]with my bf[34/m] of 3 months, his many past relationships and being very good at reading people bugs me |
t3_2afthx | relationships | Me [18 M] with my brother [17 M] -- issues while hooking up with one of his friends | So I've been hooking up (no sex) with one of my brother's best (girl) friends for about two weeks now. We're essentially FWB, as in a few weeks I'll be leaving for college and she isn't yet. Anyways, both me and FWB have a wonderful arrangement, where neither of us gets attached to the other or anything.
The problem is really with my brother, who is (about to?) go through a breakup with his girlfriend, who is, coincidentally, in my friend group. Anyways, he asked me today to stop hooking up with FWB, and I told him I'd think about it. His reasons were basically that "I wouldn't mind if you were dating but it just makes me feel really awkward that two people I'm close with are using each other for pleasure."
Obviously, I don't really want to stop, as this is my last opportunity to have a summer fling/have some fun before I go to college. Besides, my brother's past two girlfriends have both been my friends too. (The one before his current girlfriend was originally my friend, but then we stopped getting along due to her bitchiness and two sidedness -- and eventhough I told my brother about it, he didn't break up with her. I didn't expect him to, but I'm just saying this because he can't use the excuse "I'd do it if I were in your situation").
On the other hand, I'm off at college next year and I want to leave on a good note with him. I'm not sure how much this affects him though, and I feel like its unfair of him to ask me to stop hooking up with FWB.
What do I do? Do I stop? | Been hooking up with FWB who is friends with my brother, brother asks me to stop, FWB doesn't want to, what do I do? |
t3_1joiup | relationship_advice | I've fallen in love with another girl | I feel like this may not be the correct subreddit, and I feel like I sound really childish but I don't know where else to go. I was on vacation in Cuba and I met a girl from England. We became friends but after a little while I began to feel something I had never felt before. Me and her have everything in common, and she's just so different. I've been home for a while now and I can't get her out of my head. The biggest problem is that I have a girlfriend who I thought I was in love with until a couple weeks ago. This is ruining my relationship because I want to leave my girlfriend for a girl who I will never see again, I just feel so stupid and I have no idea what to do. I feel constantly guilty and depressed. | I fell in love with a girl who lives overseas and I illogically want to leave my girlfriend for the girl I will never see again. |
t3_45aj60 | tifu | TIFU by chewing gum in front of a cop. | So this happened last New Year's Eve (well, 2am New Year's Day). I was driving home from a New Year's Eve party a couple hours after midnight. I was safe to drive; I had three drinks spread over eight hours and a meal/snacks in between. I even drank some coffee after midnight at the party. Anyway, I was sober.
While driving home I arrived at a red light, stopped, I look to my right and notice a police officer sitting in the lane next to me. We're the only two cars in sight and we end up sitting there a while. (Here's my fuck up). On my passenger seat there is a pack of gum. I'm not sure why, but I grabbed a piece. I didn't really think about the officer next to me or how it might look, but here I am next to a cop putting gum in my mouth at 2am New Year's Day. As soon as the light turned green he pulled behind me and pulled me over.
The officer approaches my window and begins to try to spark up a casual conversation. "Where am I coming from?" *a party* "cool, what was the drink of choice?" "How long were you there?" "How many drinks did you have?" Then he starts getting more serious with me, "without looking at your clock, what time is it?" I answered 2:15 (it was 2:16). He then tells me, "I noticed you put gum in your mouth at the traffic light, usually DWI drivers do this to hide the smell. If I asked you to perform a field sobriety test, how do you think you would do?" I told him, "officer, I really hope it doesn't come to that, but I'm sure I'd be fine." He agreed and let me leave. However, if I was even on the fringe of driving intoxicated, I probably would have been fucked. | at 2am on New Year's Eve I put gum in my mouth in full view of a police officer. He pulled me over and thought about performing a field sobriety test on me (I would've been fine). |
t3_1pd9ew | relationships | My girlfriend [23 F] said that I would "man up eventually" [25 M], and I'm afraid of what she really thinks of me | My girlfriend yesterday, while among my friends who were playfully making fun of me, told me "you'll man up eventually" and a few seconds later said she was kidding. But after a full day, it's starting to bother me. Is it a good idea or not to ask her if she really was kidding?
Also, is there a chance she was kicking herself for saying that? Because right after she said she was kidding, she snuggled into me on the couch and i put my arm around her and she right away reached up to touch my hand. I know girls say they feel safe and protected when their bf's put their arm around them, so did she immediately try her best to show me she thinks of me as a man? | Girlfriend told me I'll "man up eventually" but then quickly said she was kidding. Is it a good idea to ask her if she really is kidding? |
t3_3bjvd2 | tifu | TIFU by going to temple. | So my girlfriend is going on a month long trip and today was the last time I was going to see her before the trip and until basically August. We were going to get lunch but we wanted to hook up before lunch so we needed a place where there would be little to no people. Since it's Monday, I suggested the rather large parking lot of my synagogue. No one is there on Mondays except the office people and the Rabbi who is my dad's best friend and whom I've known for all 18 years of my life.
We get to temple and of course, no one is there except the office people -- all of 6 cars in a 150-250 car lot. So we park our cars next to each other very inconspicuously at the very back of the lot, 60-70 yards away from any of the other cars. She gets into my car and we start making out and other stuff. I'm not feeling great and we need to eat so we go for about 35 minutes before we stop and just kind snuggle with each other for 10 minutes. After the 10 minutes we are getting ready to go when we see people walking outside towards my car. We start freaking out and we jump into the front seat and pretend like we are working out directions to our lunch place casually in the back of the temple parking lot.
As the rabbi gets closer, I roll down my window and say hi to him and he brightens up and says hi to me, makes small talk, says something about my dad, and then asks what was happening. We explain that we were working out directions and he totally bought it. Then he told us that he was going to put these pieces of paper on our cars that tell us that this lot wasn't public and that there had been two cars there on Friday, "but it wasn't you [OP], since it wasn't your car." I didn't tell him this, but it *was* my GF and me. We had met there last Friday to hook up before dinner.
Needless to say, that parking lot is off the hook up spot list and I felt very un-kosher. | Hooked up with my girlfriend in the parking lot of my temple, the rabbi with whom I'm very close with comes out and catches us just after we had finished. |
t3_35cdui | relationship_advice | I'm (19/M) not sure how to talk to my GF (18/F) about the sexual side of our relationship. NSFW-ish. | Me and my girlfriend are currently in our freshman year of college, with both of us being from out of state, with the two of us being from two different states (about a 2.5 hour drive away from one another). As such, we are going to start having a long distance relationship over this summer (which for once is not the source of the relationship problems). The two of us were very close friends for almost the entire school year before we began our relationship. As such, I feel like we are great friends, which is awesome and my favorite part of our relationship. It does however raise a problem.
My girlfriend, to put it lightly, has no sexual drive. I have often teased her for being asexual and that she will not admit it. She has even, to her own admission, never masturbated. She is totally naive on all matters sexual, and cannot even grasp the most obvious of innuendos. As such, we have a great romantic relationship, but absolutely nothing going on sexually. I would honestly not be surprised if she has never thought about me in a sexual manner.
Now, I know I sound like I'm being a typical teenage hornball, but I do think that it's important to have a sexual side to our relationship; I feel like she does not trust me enough to allow herself to think of us being sexual. I want to have a sexual AND romantic relationship with her, but just can't think of any easy way to say so. Especially with us not being able to see each other until September, I want to make the time we see each other this summer special, without feeling like I am forcing her to do anything that she does not want to do. Advice??? | I want to make it clear I want to have a sexual relationship with my girlfriend, but sex is the last thing on her mind. |
t3_3p92l3 | relationships | I [17m] have a problem with flirting behind a girls back [17F] | So I have this girl I've been talking to for about a month now and the thing is she lives pretty far away and is busy almost all the time so we actually haven't gotten to see each other.
She's told me that she likes me a lot and that no matter the distance she will wait whatever it takes just to be with me, although technically we are both still single she has kept that promise and I haven't, I've flirted with multiple girls and there's one that I'm actually starting to like as well that lives close to me and I'm really confused as to what I should do.
I don't want to hurt the one girl who lives far away. I like her a lot as well but I don't know if I should do another near-long distance thing because I've done it before and it ended really badly and all it did was just hurt me a lot.
I guess I'm just confused as to what I want and that I have a problem with flirting behind girl's backs because this is the second time it's happened to me. | have a problem with flirting behind a girls back, 2nd time its happened to me ... don't really know what I want. |
t3_2bnfmk | weddingplanning | Minimum time to give your guests to RSVP? | Hi everyone! So...I've been pretty okay with the wedding stress so far, until now. My fiance and I have incredibly busy work schedules and it's been so hard to get everything done. We sent out save the dates a few months ago to all of our guests, and now we are getting the invitations done. My friend has been nice enough to create a custom design for us, but it will still be at least another week to print and ship them, and then for my mother and I to assemble them over the next weekend.
Judging by this timeline, and the final guest count date my venue needs (I was horrible about this and literally gasped when I just checked the date)...some of my guests will have just over 2 weeks (as in, two weeks and one or two days) to RSVP. No one will have more than 3 weeks. On top of that, we're really only giving ourselves another week after that due date to follow up on people who don't send in their RSVPs.
I have no idea how this slipped through the cracks and the invitations took so long. I had my first absolute freak out tonight over this. Anyone have any thoughts or calming advice? I feel like there's nothing I can do at this point but worry about people thinking we're incredibly rude for only giving them two weeks to respond. | I'm only giving my guests 2-2.5 weeks to respond to RSVPs. Did send out STDs a few months back. Am I a horrible bride-to-be? Any advice? |
t3_3by04t | relationships | I [19F] have been in 2 consecutive relationships for the past 2 years. (Dating) | So my ex [19M] and I were together for a year and a half, a few months after we broke up I ended up dating my current boyfriend [20M].
My past relationship was a mess and vaguely emotionally abusive, but there were good times - we broke up on a good note, neither of us with the intention of jumping back into the game anytime soon. Suddenly I started dating this other guy and we decide that we'd be happy in a relationship together, so we made it official only about 3 months after my break up.
I do care about my current boyfriend and I do see at least some sort of a future with him, but a part of me wants to be single right now. Being in a relationship involves a lot of effort and I feel exhausted. However, because I do care about my boyfriend I really don't want to lose him in the process of getting the alone time that I need. | I'm torn between not losing my boyfriend in my current relationship and getting the space I need to be alone (single) for a bit. What should I do? |
t3_2e1yeb | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [21M] of four months is close friends with my sexual assaulter. | A few years back I was sexually assaulted by a man I was dating. It took a while for me to process what had happened and for a long time I blamed myself. It's been a long healing process and it has gotten a lot better over the years. Since then, I've met a wonderful guy named Ryan. However, he is close friends with the man that sexually assaulted me. I experienced a lot of internal conflict on whether or not I should tell Ryan what happened. Well, about two months into our relationship I decided to tell him. His response seemed like he was apologizing of behalf of his friend. He said "I'm so sorry that happened to you, you deserve so much better." Okay, whatever. I also told Ryan that I feel uncomfortable when he brings him up in conversation. He stopped talking about him but continues to hang out with him, like a lot. This makes me feel uneasy and unimportant. He even suggested we all hangout together..
The problem is they have been friends for years and I just recently came into his life. We haven't really talked about it since I told him. And, well, I guess I'm wondering where I should go from here. | One of my boyfriends close friends sexually assaulted me a few years back, I told my boyfriend what happened but they continue to hang out. |
t3_1l9tzb | relationships | I've [23M] somehow reconnected with an old high-school crush [22F] and now she's coming over tonight with a bottle of wine, how do I keep cool!? | So I've been on a dry spell as far as relationships go, on and off, for the last two years. Before that, I had dated a sincerely, emotionally disturbed individual for two+ years, who just devastated my self-confidence to the point of not existing.
After we broke up, I was so completely out of the dating element that I really lost all of my abilities to honestly act normal around girls.
It's such a strange feeling, when I was younger I was the typical high-school "Don Juan," and flirting just came naturally to me. Now I can barely keep myself from acting like the overly-sensitive guy from the movie Waiting.
Strangely, my brother contacted me the other night and said that an old crush from high school had asked him for my number, which I obviously told him to give to her.
Long story short, we've ended up talking, she's still the same incredible person she was when I really knew her five years ago and now she's coming over tonight.
I want, so desperately, not to blow this, but I honestly don't know how to act in these situations.
We're not going out to eat, or going out for drinks. By her suggestion, she's coming over to my place to drink wine and catch up.
Has anybody else here ever had a similar situation? How did you keep calm and collected? Furthermore, how did any of you that are in situations like mine find your confidence again? | Ex-GF ruined my confidence, now I have a shot with an old crush, how should I approach the situation and how do I act like the confident person I used to be? |
t3_4rxi8c | relationships | My [M20] girlfriend [F18] doesn't want me to post any pictures of us | About a week ago I realized that me and my girlfriend don't have any pictures together (we've now been dating a month). I suggested we take some as i never have anything to post on instagram and it would be nice to have a picture of us. She agreed, said it would be fun to take pictures together so the next day we took some. We used her iphone as I have a shitty phone with a terrible camera.
I asked her to send me them, she said she would. A few days later she hadn't so i reminded her, again she said she would, four more days later and still no pictures. I know that normally one would think this means she's trying to keep our relationship a secret, but I know that's not the case as we both have the date we started dating on our instagram profiles. (another reason I wanted a picture, as I feel kinda weird having the date up without any pictures of us)
I'm not going to ask her again because it would be weird but I feel like she's acting even stranger.. My friend suggested she may just be afraid to lose me and doesn't want to start posting or having me post pictures of us. I don't know if thats it although it would explain her accusing me of only liking her for sex when I asked her to give me head a couple days ago. I assured her that wasn't the case and told her I love her (for the first time) and she said it back and reluctantly did it. Sorry for going a little off topic although I think it could be relevant to the situation. | Girlfriend doesn't want me to post pictures of us, dont know why or how to get her to send me them without seeming demanding. |
t3_lqdh3 | AskReddit | What's some of the weirdest/scariest/saddest/etc things you have found while snooping through a friend's room while at his or her house when he/she isn't in the room? | I'm pretty sure that most of you go through your friend's things when you're over at their place when they aren't in the room.
For me, I was over at a friend's house and was staying the night in his guest bedroom. I couldn't go to sleep, so I got up and started snooping through his things. I opened up a desk drawer and started looking through it. After emptying it out, I found a stack of raggedy papers. I started reading them, and found out that they were letters that he and his ex used to write to each other while they were still dating in high school(they dated for over a year.). Some of them were pretty heart-wrenchingly sad, others were boring. | I found my friend's letters that his ex used to write to him while still in high school. I didn't realize the shit he went through. |
t3_275en1 | relationships | My friend [17/F], who I [17/M] fell in love with started to ignore me. | We are friends for about 3 years, I have feelings for her for about a year, never had the guts to say to her. We were really close friends, but about a month ago she started to ignore me and treat me like she hates me
I can't talk to her, she either ignores me or say something that ruin my day. I have no idea what to do, she means everything to me, I can't afford to lose her.
This is destroying me, I can't stay in class with her presence anymore, it just constantly reminds me of what is happening. I guess everyone knows that I love her for the way I treat her, it's not that improbable that she knows too.
I think that she found out what I feel for her and started to ignore me because she doesn't feel the same, but that doesn't explain why is she treating me the way she is now. She used to be so nice, patient, lovely, perfect, now she sounds/acts like another person | My long time friend who I fell in love for, started ignoring me and treating like she hates me, have no idea what to do. |
t3_3si8n9 | tifu | TIFU by getting my whole jury dismissed. | I had jury duty earlier this month, and usually I don't get through the first round, or I come up with a good excuse to tell the judge privately, but this time I really didn't have anything better to do, and I wanted to see far I could get.
To my shock, I was actually a strong candidate. By which side I don't know. Well they brought us in, the finalists, and the lawyers were there to go mano-e-mano with me.
They started tossing some soft ball questions to the jury. Then one of the attorneys looked at me and asked, "How do you feel about a woman who divorced a man, re-married him, and now they are going through their second divorce?"
I bit my tongue through the question, and I said the first thing that popped in my mind, "You mean to tell me she got 50%, and now she wants the other 50%?"
I looked behind me at the other jury candidates, some where laughing. The lawyer stared me right in the eye, and I could feel a jolt of electricity permeating my retinas into my brain.
The judge broke the silence, and dismissed all of the jury just for hearing my poisonuos thought. | I shared my warped view of divorce, love, and marriage, with the court and that got the whole jury dismissed. |
t3_wpa6k | relationships | Should I stay in a relationship to take care of her? | My girlfriend (F/21) and I (M/20) have been going out for a little more than a year. We broke up recently because I hinted that we weren't right for each other, but we could probably get back together if I wanted.
I love her and I consider her to be my best friend, but I've come to realize that she's not the person I want to marry. We're just very different people and I feel that I would be happier with someone else in the long run. She's someone who needs to talk out her problems and has been dealing with some pretty serious family issues over the past year. However, she had a falling out with the only other person besides me she felt comfortable talking about her problems with. She's said on a number of occasions that she has no idea how she would have made it through all this without me.
I really do love her and for the most part, I enjoy being in a relationship with her. Her family problems may continue indefinitely or they could get better in the next few months. Should I stay with her to take care of her? | Girlfriend has family problems. I love her, but I don't see a future with her. Do I stick it out and wait until things get better to leave her? |
t3_2k0u9x | relationships | Me [24 M] meeting up with my online GF [19F] who I have known for 2.5 years, nerves. | Hi redditors :)
So I've known this girl exclusively online for 2.5 years now, we started out as gaming friends, then it got a bit more, then I was friendzoned. Recently she's come to terms with her feelings and has expressed multiple times how much she loves me, and how much I love her. This is her first true love, as she has not had much experience in relationships.
Now we are meeting up next week (We are from different countries) and her attitude has changed a lot. She says she's nervous that we won't have the same chemistry that we have online when we're together, and we will be together for 4 days 24/7. I told her I understand her nerves and I too am nervous but that if we didn't take the plunge we would never know where out relationship will go.
I have told her that I am willing to move to her country (I have the financial capability to do this) to be with her and she agrees that it's an option, but I need some advice on how to calm her nerves before we meet.
It's little things like she used to literally fawn on me (2-3 weeks ago), everyday saying how much she loved and missed me and now there's nothing there and it's making me nervous that she's having second thoughts on our relationship.
I'm sure it's just down to last minute nerves about meeting but like I said, it's causing me to be nervous too. I don't want to break up with this girl because I truly love her. And I know she loves me. She just has issues with facing things head on. She's said her main concern is that we won't have the same chemistry that we do online.
Any advice from anyone in the same position or has been in the same position would be amazing, thank you. | Meeting online GF for the first time for a long weekend, she's nervous that we won't work IRL. Advice would be nice |
t3_30pkco | GetMotivated | [Discussion]How can I turn my current unemployment into the best thing that's ever happened to me? | So I was fired from my job two months ago and while job hunting sucks ass and involves a lot of waiting and trial and error, I'm not super sad that I don't work for my asshole ex-boss anymore. But you know, still sucks a bunch having to deal with all that shit.
Lately, this whole process is pretty much grinding on my nerves. I have to watch every penny, I struggle with having nothing to do and nowhere to go. But after almost two months, today I thought to myself: Maybe I can turn this into the most important time of my life. Besides jobhunting, there is currently not much I have to do these days. Instead of being depressed and worried about my future, I failed to see that right now I can do so much more for myself to achieve something bigger soon.
What can I do for myself now that I have basically all the free time in the world without having to spend a lot of money? I plan on going to the gym and the library much more. What could be a better use of free time than getting in shape and educating myself, right?
Is there any advice you can give me to motivate myself to use this difficult time in my life in my favor instead of falling into depression and worries like I did in the last weeks? | Jobhunting wears me down, want to use my free time for awesomeness instead of worries and depression. |
t3_2mxvgm | relationships | I (M)20 need advice about breaking up with my (F)21 girlfriend of 4+ years. | This is my first post that isn't a comment so be gentle. I'm (M)20 so sick of my gf (F)21 always "going out" and coming home (or sometimes not coming home) completely based out of her fucking head from the bar all the time.
She sees no problem with it. I dont ask who she's with, I don't ask what she did the night before (except when she doesn't come home). Very recently she went out before I even got off work. I tried texting her to see what she was up to. All I get back is "At bar for a bit." It wasn't until 17 hours later that she shows up at our apartment. Not one text, not one phone call. Just ignored me for 17 hours. I didn't really say anything about it. I later asked where she had stayed the night before. She dodged the question several times. Finally she told me where she was. After getting Super Smash Brother'd at the bar, she WENT HOME WITH SOME RANDOM FUCKING GUY! She spent the night with this guy. "We only made out a bit." My ass.
I didn't talk to her for like 2 days I was so pissed. But it's kind of hard to totally ignore someone you live with. I've come to the conclusion that my life, as it is, would be better without her. I'd have more money, I'd have virtually no stress, and my apartment wouldn't be a total shit hole! (A golden retriever picks up after itself better than she does.) Anyways, I'm just struggling at this because I'm too soft and I don't want a meltdown on my hands, especially right before the holidays. | I (M)20 need advice about breaking up with my messy, controlling, drunk gf (F)21 of 4+ years. HELP!!! |
t3_21hhlb | relationship_advice | [21/m] Told my girlfriend [20/f] a girl I used to like is my ex, now it might come back to haunt me | Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, but I need a little advice.
I used to have a huge crush on a girl I went to school with, until I moved to a different country. We still talked sometimes but were always just friends.
Fast forward 8 years, and I have been with my current gf for 5 years. A couple years back, current gf asked who former friend was, and for some insane reason I told her she was my ex (not going into that now).
Former friend/fake ex is now studying for a semester in the small university city I live in on the other side of the world, go figure. They have actually met but the topic of relationships didn't come up. A few other people know that she is supposedly my ex.
Now it turns out she will be at the same party as the gf and I in a couple days and I am worried the whole thing will blow up in my face (current gf has issues with me lying about things and would get very jealous indeed if she knew.)
Is there anything I can do to avoid word getting out or will I just have to face up to my lie? | Lied to my gf that a girl I used to have a crush on, never thought I would see again, and have no feelings for was my ex. Now she might find out. What to do? |
t3_lzxd3 | AskReddit | Lawyers of Reddit, I REALLY Need Help On this!!! | Hello there,
First of all, let me tell you that I am asking for help here because I am a 22 year old university student and I honestly can't afford to go talk to a lawyer on my own, so any help answering this would be great!
Some things happened last year and long story short, I got beaten up by a cop and my lawyer couldn't get me (and by that, I really mean, didn't even try to get me...) anything than a plea bargain for a misdemeanor PC 148(a) (willful obstruction) which the D.A had knocked down from a trumped up felony charge of PC69 (resisting arrest). Here's the worst part, I was scared, never even had a ticket before this in my life and my lawyer said that the deal they were offering was the best I could get (14 days community service, fines, anger management class and 3 years of summary probation) so I took it.
I just tried to have the public defenders office get rid of my summary probation (I'm a year and 4 months into it now) and start the expungement process but they told me that they won't do anything until I'm at least 2/3 of the way through the 3 years (July 2012) and that I have to show good reason, even though I did everything the court asked a whole year ago.
Okay last part. I have to renew my green card, probably should send the forms in April as it expires in August of 2012. I have been in the US legally for 20 years now...so my point is, can I be denied the renewal/and or even deported for this and does anyone know any place in southern california, Los Angeles to inland empire area, where I can get free help from some kind of immigration advocacy group? I should mention I didn't have any prior charges and I have never been in trouble afterwards either.
I know that was long, sorry but I am quite worried about this, like I said, I have lived here since I was very young and I don't even really speak my native tongue very well. | Have a misdemeanor on my record, still have summary probation for two years and I can't get rid of it, will it affect my green card renewal next year? Am I basically screwed? |
t3_2784pl | relationships | Any insight? Hoping for a good surprise | Male 22 yo trying rekindle F20. This is something I really hope some one can offer some help with. Long story short last year I left to study abroad for 6 months after having started something with a girl, we were inseparable and it was really good. We skyped for hours at a time while abroad until she suggested taking it as friends after 4 months of being 8 hours apart. I didn't handle it great and what's worse is that when I got back she informed me that she was transferring schools ( at this point in September 2013 she was a first sem sophomore and I was a senior). I handled that even worse and we ended up going almost 4 months without speaking when she moved schools after the first semester. Then she came back to my school to visit with no heads up to me, our interactions on this visit were brief and she left the following day. Since then we seemed to have patched things up via text and have been communicating. The only problem is I think she is seeing someone now. What I want to do is show up to her this summer by surprise. I feel I could play it off as a simple travel trip as I have just graduated college and have some spare time if all goes to hell and is not taken well. It seems absurd but i really feel strongly about this person and don't want her to ever forget me. Am I stupid or what? | girls that i liked moved schools,havent seen her in awhile and maybe be with someone else("unoffical"). I want to make a surprise vist to her hometown this summer. |
t3_tiru9 | AskReddit | I am damned depressed. Please, cheer me up? | I have had the worst 5 months of my life this year. Granted, most of the stress is my own fault but it still makes me feel like hell. I am in an amazing relationship with THE ONE. She is my match, my missing piece and I'm her's. But in December I was stupid and my lower brain made poor decisions that my upper didn't veto. I cheated by way of x-rated texts and emails. She was furious and I didn't blame her. We worked on it. Then my PTSD and Bi-Polar decided to come out and have fun on top of all this. I've lost her trust. I am trying to win it back but it seems like every time I make even the tiniest bit of progress it gets blown to bits by something from my past coming back. Or hiding our money issues (lack of) from her. I am getting therapy and I'm on medication but I can't seem to shake the thought that my subconscious is sabotaging everything I'm trying to do. | I fucked up in my relationship. She took me back. I'm crazy and on meds. May be in fact my own worst enemy. |
t3_17v8jd | AskReddit | If you could make everyone in the world learn/know one thing, what would it be? | EDIT: wow, thanks for all those great answers. It's funny that the most recurrent answer was "learn how to drive" or "that turns signals are there for a reason", so it seems we have a lot of frustrated drivers here.
Also, the second most recurrent answer, however, makes me a bit sad. A lot of people said "That God doesn't exist" or "There is no God". It's okay for you not believe in Him or whatever it is you believe in. I don't believe either. But please, **please** don't think you *know* it. There is no possible way for you to know for sure, despite how much "evidence" you think you have. When you say that you wanted everyone to know he doesn't exist, it implies you know it, and you don't. Be humble about this, please.
For those who don't care about this, I'm sorry for the wall of text, but I needed to say this after seeing it so many times. | You don't know if there is a God or not, despite what you believe, so don't act and talk like you do. |
t3_2usnhc | travel | Help to decide where to go 6 weeks on summer? I doubt between Australia/New Zealand and Singapore/Malaysia/Vietnam | This is the last summer I think I will have as much time to travel so I'm thinking seriously about crossing the world (European here). Whatever the destination, I will travel with an agency and living on a student apartment except the time I'll be backpacking in other cities.
Australia/New Zealand: Plane ticket is 1300$ and two stopovers. If I go to Australia I'm considering to stay in Brisbane better than Sidney, what do you think? Flying to Auckland is 220$. Visa for Australia will be processed by the agency and as European I don't need a tourist visa for New Zealand.
Singapore/Malaysia/Vietnam: Singapore is just a city and it isn't as interesting as Brisbane for me, but plane ticket is 600$ and just one stopover and Singapore is a strategic point to travel in Asia. It's just 3 hours and a half by car to Kuala Lumpur and 75$ and two hours by plane to Ho Chi Minh (17$ visa). | I have to decide during the following weeks where to go on summer (between 4 and 8 weeks) and it will be really helpful if someone who have been to Brisbane or Singapore gives me some advice. |
t3_sbfah | relationships | Want to win a past flame back, does the "epic declaration of love" speech work in real life? | Set up: I'm sick in love with a girl I dated a few years ago. We never really broke up, I graduated and moved, she was traveling for a few months, it just sort of stopped. Now we're in the same city, both unattached, and see each other often, in social settings.
The problem is, I can never seem to get her alone anymore, and don't really feel any interest from her at all. She's always been hard to read, and we never really spoke about how we ended, so my thought is I just need to lay my feelings bare in an "epic declaration of love speech" in one of the few times I can talk one-on-one. But, you know, fear of rejection, fear of ruining one of the few moments we have together, etc. Any stories of these working in real life?
I basically want to say exactly what [Louis CK says to Pamela]( | > in love with ex and think I could have a shot. Is the big "I love you" speech corny or convincing? |
t3_xdnpb | books | Alright r/books, I need some fantasy recommendations. | Alright, so, I just finished with the Twilight Saga. Please don't criticize, I'm still trying to figure what possessed me to do it. But, I got drawn in and it kept me reading all the way through. Frankly, I was annoyed with the romance aspect of it. Not for me. But the personalities, setting, and general plot (sans romance) really kept my attention, and I enjoyed it. But anyway, reading it got me in the mood for fantasy (ya know, reading about vampires and such kinda makes that happen). So, here's what I'm hoping you all can help me with.
First off, I don't really want the regular recommendations for fantasy (A Song of Ice and Fire, LoTR, et cetera), I've gotten those enough. So, one aspect that really entertains me from Twilight is the idea of a secret governing body (the Volturi) ruling over the secret world of a species (vampires). I would really enjoy finding something that incorporates a similar idea. Aside from that, just any other general fantasy recommendations that aren't the usual and well-known ones, would be appreciated. | Read Twilight Saga (don't be hating), enjoyed fantasy elements and idea of secret governing body ruling over secret world of species. Looking for something involving similar idea, or fantasy in general (aside from the usual recommendations). |
t3_pyxpm | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the nicest thing you ever did for a complete stranger? | I go to college in Manhattan and live in Staten Island so I have to take the ferry to and from school everyday. There are always a couple of homeless people right outside the terminal that I see everyday. One day during my freshman year, I decided to try something different so I went to this by the pound Chinese food place, bought 3 pounds of food, and gave it to a homeless person. I really didn't think it would be a big deal at all, but I never seen a happier look on someone's face. It really made me feel good, and I continued doing this a couple times a week for the semester. | Gave three pounds of Chinese food to a homeless person, ended up doing it a couple times a week for a semester. |
t3_1pps6r | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Now EX [23F] of 10 months broke up with me at 2AM last night | this was a long distance relationship( through state lines, met online), she originally showed disintrest in a long distant relationship for a long time, but we managed to work that out. we have seen eachother three times since then, twice only on the weekends and the final one was an entire week in florida.
during most of this time however she was unemployed, as she just recently moved back from college. and so she had time on her hands. but once she got the job, and moved in with her friend, we couldent talk as often as we both had jobs and i was still in school. she was originally going to come to my state, as it is my birthday tomorrow. but at 2am she called me saying she cant stand the long distant thing anymore, and that she cant keep it up anymore. she mentioned that we should probably not talk again for awhile.
Due note this was 6 hours before her flight was supposed to depart and only hours earlier she said she was packing and couldent wait.
reddit what do i do? is this suspicious at all? | my long distance girlfriend broke up with me, hours before her flight was supposed to leave, and not even 3 hours earlier said she was packing. What do? |
t3_13mjd1 | relationships | How long does the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship typically last? Is over a year abnormal? | I know the length of it will vary, but when's the longest it can go?
Boyfriend (19M) and me (20 as of today,F) have been dating coming up on a year but I still think we are in the honeymoon stage.
Is it bad for a long term relationship to be in that stage a long time? I am still head over heels for him! This may be immature of me to say, but I really think this relationship will last a long time. We have many of the same interests, the only bad thing is he's allergic to cats, but he and I feed feral cats and supports me on that.
We are both still in college and don't live together but I spend half my nights at his place. | what the title says! Really love my boyfriend but is it bad for a long relationship to be head over heels for a long time? |
t3_dlcr8 | relationship_advice | Serious situation, involves suicide attempts and possible pregnancy. More inside. | So I met this girl about 3 months ago. We're introduced through my sister on Facebook and we chat for a good 10 hours the first time. We then chat on and off for a few weeks. She seems a little eccentric, but I put up with it for a while because she keeps baiting me with the promise of sex (I know this seems really shallow, but I'm not doing well in that department). So we finally plan to meet, I go to her house and we hang out for a while. It doesn't get to sex, but comes close. We do the chatting thing for a little while longer, until we plan to meet again. This time is much like before, except we end up having sex at her place. Shes not on any birth control, but I used a spermicidal condom (hopefully better than regular ones). We chat on and off but by this time I've taken keen notice of her eccentricities, and deemed that shes full on crazy. She keeps pushing a relationship and I really don't want this to go any further than it has. Every time she finds some way to manipulate the conversation into us agreeing that we are together. I can't bring myself to tell her that we aren't. This whole time my sister has been talking to her and has found out that shes cut herself in the past and has threatened to do it again. Her home life is really unstable and its clear she has some major emotional problems. In the past few days shes told me that she hasn't had her period since we've been together (almost a month ago). I'm telling myself its because of the stress in her life but I really don't know. I don't know if and when I do tell her we aren't together, she will hurt herself. This girl really is obsessed with me to the point where it makes me feel uneasy. I just don't know what to do. | Girl has serious emotional problems. She has tried to, and threatened to kill herself. We had protected sex, now she is late. She thinks we are in a committed relationship, I want nothing further from it. |
t3_31i33v | relationships | Me [27 M] with a huge crush on my long time friend [27 F]. Not sure if I should make a move. Advice? | I have known this girl for the last 13 years. We were good friends in high school, then were in different cities for a while for college (and then my grad schooling). I moved back to our home town about about 8 months ago, and she is one of the only people I know and want to hang out with here, so we have been hanging out fairly regularly. I have always thought she was cute... and I have always had a lukewarm crush on her. However, now that we are older and I have gotten closer with her over the past several months I have been growing more attracted to her. Some relevant facts:
* She is confidently (though not insanely) Christian. Her religion is quite important to her.
* I am an atheist.
* We share very similar interests in leisure activities, music, life philosophy (aside from religion), love of outdoors, etc etc.
* We are both in transitional periods of life where lots of things are uncertain and we don't exactly need anything holding us back or complicating decision-making processes.
* I am considering asking her best friend, who is another of my close friends, to offer her advice about this.
The past few weeks I have been on the cusp of saying something to her. I am usually very good at discerning other peoples' feelings, and I feel like she has at least *some* attraction to me.... but honestly, it is hard to tell.
The bottom line is... I really, really want to tell her that I am attracted to her and want to explore those feelings if she is willing. But there are so many uncertainties. So many possible complications of being romantically involved with her. It's just becoming really difficult to keep my feelings to myself (partially why I am seeking advice from strangers on the internet). I don't want to regret not letting her know how I feel.... but I also don't want to mess up our friendship.
Seriously, even thinking about it I want to just grab her and lay a smooch on her. | I essentially want to confess my feelings for a long-time friend, but I am unsure whether I should or not. |
t3_19v820 | relationships | My [21m] Girlfriends [20F] Friend [20M] Told Her He Likes Her... | So...I've been dating my girlfriend now for around 7 months, we have a great relationship, we haven't had sex yet because she wants to wait and I'm really supportive of her with that, all around everything is great.
She met this friend about the same time (5-6 months ago) at her work they slowly became friends and eventually in september they ended up in the same course at her university.
Now just recently this guy has been texting her a lot about his girlfriend and the problems they have and he just broke up with her this past weekend, since then he has been texting her pretty much day and night which I was uncomfortable with but I didn't want to be a controlling boyfriend and tell her to stop.
Last night when I dropped her off he called her and told her that he really liked her but he didn't want to come between us (I know this is bullshit) and just thought she should know. No guy should be calling a girl to say he likes her when he knows and has met her boyfriend. She replied that she had to think about it and hung up...She just told me all this today over coffee.
Anyway, I think she shouldn't talk to this guy any more or at least she could have told him that she did not feel the same way when he called. She told me today that she loves me and will do what I want but I'm really not sure what would be appropriate? I know she will be faithful to me but I don't want her texting/hanging out with someone that wants to take her from me. Has anyone been in a similar position? | Girlfriend's friend/coworker called her last night and told her he likes her, knowing she has a boyfriend and I have met him before. What do I do? |
t3_2k3846 | relationships | How can I (20/M) tell if I'm ready to ask someone else out yet? | I developed feelings for a close friend, then had to go through the pain of them not being reciprocated, and I haven't seen her for a while (due to her being sick). It hurt like hell, but it doesn't occupy my mind now. I'm currently not in the best mental state, but I think that's more due to the stress of having 5 assignments and 3 exams within the next fortnight. I think.
I saw an ex-colleague that I was... intrigued by? on Tinder not that long ago, we're still Facebook friends. I'm wondering about asking her out now, but I'm trying to judge my own intentions - am I trying to mask the hurt from the previous girl, or am I actually interested for the sake of this relationship?
How can I tell? (For reference, previous pain started about 7 weeks ago, cumulated into choosing to reduce how often we see each other, and then I haven't seen her for over 4 weeks now). | Liked a girl, it didn't work out, a month or two later, I'm wondering about asking another girl out, but wondering if I'm ready yet to move on. |
t3_2530dd | relationship_advice | I'[M] 21 and at a serious crossroads. I need help with my "best" friend [M] and a girl (19). | I guess I'll start by saying that I do feel betrayed by my best friend. It all started at a concert where I thought this girl might've liked me and I really did like her. Unfortunately she then saw my best friend and I'm cast aside. I just now find out from my "best" friend that he just went on a date with her last night. I was angry and he was avoiding my calls because he was "scared" and I'm not an intimidating or scary guy. He's just never seen me angry. We talked and I was surprisingly calm and I'm glad that I didn't lose it on him because I do care more about him than any other friend and certainly any girl. Friendship is more valuable to me than a little fling. But I don't know what to do about him. He agreed when I asked if we could actually talk it out in person which may sound dumb but I feel like things would be better handled that way. Should I really forgive him and keep our friendship up? Does this mean he is likely to do this again despite the fact that he felt like a dick for doing it? Should I even say anything to the girl and try to be friends with her? What can I do to make myself feel better because it feels like I've been stabbed in the heart by what I thought was a great friend? | Best friend went behind my back and started seeing the girl that I liked that actually likes him and I really need help and advice with what I should do in this situation. |
t3_1cqq1i | relationships | I [22m] went behind my girlfriend's[21F] back and watched her sex tape | Some history: we've been dating for a few months and everything has been great. We spend almost all of our free time together and the sex is great and I like to think we genuinely enjoy each other's company.
About a month ago I was on her computer and saw that she was logged in to her ex's email which bothered me. So I asked her about it and she said it's because he would talk shit about her to his mom right after they broke up which doesn't even explain why she was still checking after we've been saying but I digress.
A week ago I found out that she likes to make sex tapes and asked her if she had any left and if I could see them. She said she didn't know and didn't feel comfortable showing me. Obviously my interest was piqued so one day when I got to her house before her I checked and lo and behold I found it. She has a Mac and I use windows so I didn't know things saved to the task bar. Needless to say she was upset, felt betrayed, said she couldn't trust me etc.
Tonight I went out with a friend[M] to a bar because she had stuff to do. She called me while i was at the bar and asked what I was doing. I said I was at a bar and she hung up and texted me "we're done". My heart dropped. I immediately called her and talked to her about it, asked her if that's what she really wanted and why. She said no she was just angry but she wants a break says she needs time. I said breaks don't work. After 40 minutes on the phone she said she was done talking and we said our goodbyes. She then proceeded to be a huge bitch and berate me via text and make me feel bad and said she didn't care. Thoughts? What can I do? | gf[21F] told me she wasn't ok with me[22m] watching the video and I did anyway. |
t3_sqjya | AskReddit | Would you give Comcast a copy of the deed to your house to continue internet service? | I just got a call from Comcast demanding I fax them a copy of the deed to my house to continue service with them.
The back-story: I've been living in Chicago for the past several years, and had been a customer of Comcast during that time. I paid every bill in full and on time.
About a year and a half ago, I bought a house in Baltimore, but was still spending much of my time in Chicago, so I continued to use Comcast in my Chicago apartment. Then a few months back, I got rid of my Chicago apartment and decided to live in Baltimore full time.
So last week I finally got around to transferring service from my Chicago address to my Baltimore address. It seemed to be easy enough.
However, today I got a call from Comcast telling me that because a previous resident at my Baltimore address still owes Comcast money, they need a copy of the **deed to my house** to prove that I am the current resident. That's right, the deed to my house, they said nothing else would suffice. | So because a completely unrelated customer (different name and everything) racked up debt to Comcast years ago, a great customer (me) has to send Comcast a copy of the deed to my house. |
t3_rfklw | AskReddit | How do you feel about eye contact? | So a few years ago, I read something somewhere about how important and powerful eye contact can be. Since then, I go for eye contact no matter what I'm doing. With friends it's not so important, but when I'm out doing errands, working, at a restaurant, I go for eye contact with people I pass, ESPECIALLY people who are serving/assisting me or what have you. And in regards to being a single WASP male, when I encounter a female in the field, I go for eye contact and attempt to maintain it. From personal experience, a large percentage of people, especially women, seem to appreciate it, and possibly are intrigued/excited by it. | Reddit : What are your thoughts on eye contact? In social situations, romantic situations, picking up the opposite sex, getting service from a waiter/retail worker, waiting in a doctor's office, etc, etc. |
t3_2mwv0f | relationships | I (27M) want to come out as an Atheist to my girlfriend (27F) of two years, but fear she will break up with me. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. She is very religious, (southern Baptist), a young earth creationist, and a biblical literalist. I, although raised a Christian, have lost my faith over the past year.
To be fair, this will totally blindside her. I've gone to church with her and say a blessing before we eat together.
I'm happy in our relationship and I don't try to force my beliefs (or lack thereof) on anyone. I want to come out to her as an atheist, but I am afraid she will break up with me. I'm also afraid she will stay with me and continue to try and convert me back to Christianity. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? | I want to come out to my girlfriend as an atheist, but I fear she will break up with me, or stay with me and proselytize. |
t3_leoi9 | AskReddit | can anybody help me with a diagnosis for a tv problem? | Hey guys I have a DLP Mitsubishi 65' TV thats only about 3 years old. I've kept it in great condition and nothing has ever damaged it (ie i've never dropped it on its side, spilled water or stuff like that). Lately the picture has become very dim on the screen, and its not a brightness problem as i've checked the settings and things like that. I was just hoping some out there who knows more about new TVs than i do will tell me perhaps what could be wrong with it, and maybe what i could do to fix it, or if I'm going to have to get a new one completely. Thanks for any replies and help! | My newer TV has become very dim, I don't know whats wrong with it and I was hoping someone out there could help me. Thanks Reddit! |
t3_197cjw | dating_advice | I (16M) don't know what to do when I talk to girls in general, especially with her (17F). | So I have gone on a couple dates with this girl that I like and everything seemed to be alright, but the thing that is bothering me is that I don't know how to act. Everyone tells me to "be yourself" but that is the problem. I don't know what the real me is! I don't know what the "yourself" is in this situation. I have friends and I act in one way with them, but when it comes to girls I become very (almost too) down to earth and serious. I cant crack jokes at all with them but any other time is perfectly fine (with friends and such).
Another problem is that I usually always like the girl I can't talk to. Its not a problem to actually say hi and things, but I always seem to be that quiet guy that doesn't show emotion when around her. I try to smile on dates and every time i am around her, but as I said previously I change dramatically with different people therefore I have no clue about who the "REAL" me is. It is starting to bother me quite a lot.
Any tips would be helpful and I thank you for them! | I don't know who the "real" me is. I almost change to a completely different person when I am around the girl I like. |
t3_4jotwr | college | Denial from undergraduate business program. Advice? | As the title says, I was recently denied from Michigan State's undergraduate education at the Broad business college. My major has been removed from Finance to Undecided, I am very adamant about business and felt as though my application was very qualified for acceptance. However, the school did not seem to think so. I am going to speak with an advisor and see what went wrong and see what can be adjusted for reapplication. However in preparing for possible denial again since if they said no once they can say it again, I question the possibility of looking into a major in Economics? It seems to me that outside of Finance and Accounting which are in the business school and Economics is not I could go into there but I'm not sure. I feel very distraught by this denial and am not sure what I can expect moving forward. Maybe even the idea of a completely different realm of majors to look into? Any advice from fellow Reddit users? | I got denied from the business school, my school doesnt do much but suggest reapplying or changing majors, how should I evaluate? |
t3_4t3n5b | relationships | Rekindling a friendship with my (20/f) ex-boyfriend (21/m) | My ex (we'll call him Fred) and I broke up in early April. We dated briefly, but I liked Fred quite a bit. We got into a relationship too quickly and I still had issues regarding a prior ex boyfriend who ghosted me completely at random. Needless to say, I sort of ruined a good relationship with Fred because I was too insecure and anxious to date. At first, I blamed Fred for the collapse, but I now see that it was unhealthy jealousy on my part that ultimately broke us up. We had a sort of messy break up. At first he said he wanted a break, and then he said he wasn't interested in a relationship even though he does like me. We stopped talking for the most part so I could move on, but would communicate here and there.
Fast forward to now, and we communicate every day to every other day. We hung out yesterday afternoon for the first time since Mid-April, and it wasn't awkward at all. I actually had quite a bit of fun, and I think he did as well. I dropped him off at home, and then a few hours later we texted until 2 A.M. I feel we have great chemistry as friends and am really enjoying getting to know him as a person rather than just a boyfriend (which was the case before, unfortunately).
The thing is, I think I'm always going to wonder if we could be more than just friends in the future. I certainly am not anticipating this or holding my breath, but we are kind of flirty and the connection is just there. I would never dream of ruining our newfound friendship by bringing this up, but is it wrong of me to think maybe one day? Is it unhealthy?
I don't feel jealousy or as though I NEED him to be with me or as though I'd never find someone else. Just a nice thought for maybe someday, I don't know. If it is unhealthy, how do I shut that down so I can simply enjoy a friendship with someone I enjoy being around and having in my life? | Friends with ex-boyfriend again, having thoughts of being together someday and am not sure if that's healthy or not. |
t3_1g0xuj | relationships | [18M]Found out my girlfriend [18F] smoked behind my back, what should I do? | First to start off, we had an agreement later on in our relationship that both of us would not smoke (weed) without each other, and basically stopped smoking altogether because she would get drug tested constantly by her parents.
I messed up a couple months in with our relationship (we've been dating for 6 months) and smoked two times separately with my teammates and violated her trust. I admitted to her a couple weeks after, and she felt hurt and sad that I did this behind her back. I apologized and promised never to do it again.
Now, we both have been clean for some time now and her parents have stopped drug testing her, but I just found out today that she smoked with one of her friends a day ago. I thanked her for being honest and promised that I was not mad, but I did communicate that I felt sad about it. She responded by saying that I smoked two times behind her back and that she told me today and did not wait two weeks like I did.
Anyways, now that she smoked I feel tempted to do it as well, but I know that this will just lead to a spiral of mistrust and potentially damage my relationship with her. Should I just ignore it and move on? I feel sad and have some trust issues with her to begin with, so I am not sure what to do.
Sorry for the wall of text. | We agreed not to smoke weed without each other, I violated this agreement early on, owned up and apologized, only to find out that she just smoked yesterday---: |
t3_3aswsx | relationships | I [25M] am deciding between a medical school on the west coast and one on the east coast where my girlfriend [24F] will be attending medical school as well. I feel like she is pressuring me to stay their although it is a more expensive inferior school. | Hi guys, I've been dating my girlfriend for about 10 months now. I was planning on attending a medical school in the same city where my girlfriend will be starting medical school. However, this week I was accepted to my state school on the west coast. This school is much cheaper, has a better reputation, and I believe is objectively a better choice. While part of me thinks that I may be happier near her, this is my first serious relationship and I do not know if she is unfairly influencing my decision.
She has told me on many occasions that if I choose to move back to the west coast for school it will take a long time for her to accept the decision and she will not be happy. She says she will try a long distance relationship but I don't know how long it would last. The medical school on the east coast is decent, but I know my recent acceptance would do much more to further my career and give me better opportunities when it comes to residencies.
I am worried that if I choose to stay on the east coast it will be because of her and I may resent her for it later on. Is she being fair or unfair in telling me how she feels? Am I being clouded in my decision making by my first true "love"? I'm so confused and I don't know what to make of it all.
I really can see myself with her for the next four years and I'm scared to throw it away. What should I ask myself while deciding? | I'm deciding between a medical school near my SO and across the country. I feel like she is pressuring me to stay and it may be swaying my decision. |
t3_3yiho8 | relationships | Me [18M] getting mixed signals from friends about a girl [19F] I am interested in (again). | I recently got word of an old friend I used to talk in high school, (only going on two dates, both times to the movies, nothing special) still being interested and talking about me from a couple of friends back in my home town.
I'm in college and she isn't, I am around a 45 min. drive.
Back to the situation at hand, I wasn't really interested in pursueing anything untill hearing about it, becasue we have a history and stopped talking on good terms I didn't think we had anything going for us.
Here comes the hard part, she has a boyfriend. From the same mutual friends that told me she was still "interested" said that the relationship between them isn't all that stable
I don't want to be the guy that just shows back up saying "I'm here!" and I don't even know I can do that becasue I don't know if I can trust my mutual friends.
I don't want to be a homewrecker and I am clear if anything happens, I don't want any sideshows. I have hard crush tunnel vision and can't think straight. | Girl I'm still interested might still be interested in me, we dated, she is in a relationship right now, but it might not be stable. I don't know if I should pursue anything on a bunch of maybes. |
t3_1ohm34 | dogs | I'm so happy to be able to stay a mommy! Hopefully, anyway... | So a little background here, I got this [little brat] ( when she was barely old enough to leave her mom. She's the runt of her litter, about 3/4 the size of her brothers from other litters (currently just 28 pounds and short, but the only one to survive. Twilight is her name, not because of the movies, but partially because of her coat being almost all black except for a few white spots, which reminded me of the time of night, and partially from the Amon Amarth song/album Twilight of the Thunder God. She's a border collie/fox terrier mix, and my baby girl. I love her to pieces and do everything I possibly can to keep her happy.
Now, she's 3 1/2 years old, I'm 21 and engaged, and my fiance and I are trying to move out of my parents house. The only apartments we could find in our price range and location were only cat friendly, if they allow any pets at all. I was devastated and broke down at work tonight when it hit me that I would have to find a new home for her. I cried for a long while at home and clung to her, not wanting to let go.
Fast forward to about an hour ago. My WONDERFUL fiance found the only dog-friendly apartment in our area, just slightly more than we were originally looking to pay per month. I love this man so much right now! We're likely to be able to stay a family and start our lives on our own...with our baby girl!!! I'm so happy right now!!!
She, however, is doin ber normal thing and just [chilling on her favorite chair, not giving any fucks.]( | thought I'd have to find a new home for my pride and joy, finance found a dog friendly place with an affordable vacancy, baby girl keeps chillin. :D |
t3_39tsls | relationships | I [F17] told my mum [F50] about what a guy did to me, yet she continues to meet him. Am I overreacting to be annoyed? | To summarise, this 'guy' is [M69], physiotherapist and has been in the business a life time. Yes I agree he is good at his job, he works in a way not everyone does.
However one day when I was seeing him, after the session he pulls me into a [2/3 minute~] hug, kisses my head, fiddles with my hips underneath my shirt and holds me close. I try to pull away, and say things like 'what if X Y and Z see?' He responded, 'I don't care, do you?' Then I asked what about your Mrs, again he brushed it off.
Another session, he tries to hug me both before and after the session, which I awkwardly pull away from. During the sessions he speaks about/trys to get me to have personal comversations, and says inappropriate things such as 'is 69 too old?' - regarding a boyfriend.
Other things too, but you get the gist. He made me incredibly uncomfortable, offered free and night time sessions. So I stopped seeing him, I also didn't tell anyone
My mother has begun to see him for her back, and I've told her (only now) that he's a creep, made me uncomfortable and came onto me.
She continues to see him! Made jokes like 'oh I'm going to see your man today' wtf mother. Then she told me she's already (2/3 sessions in) on free sessions with him, I said that can't be right, then she had a girly giggle and said 'ooh what if he fancies me?!'
She has made a joke of me. Implies that I'm lying, says 'oh you've told me nothing'.
Am I right to be fucking upset and pissed with her? | Physiotherapist was inappropriate physically and verbally, told my mother and as he continues to see him, doesn't seem to care at all and makes joke ls regarding it. Do I have a right to be upset? |
t3_4ki1xl | relationships | What do you think about me [22 M] dating a girl [18 F]? | I'm an 22 year old college student and she's an 18 year highschool student. I like her and she likes me but I have my doubts because even though she comes across very mature i'm afraid the gap between a college student and a highschooler may be too much. And that when she goes to college a year from now that she might change too much. Although I must say the difference between college and highschool is much smaller in my country compared with the USA.
-Drinking and clubbing age is 18 in my country, so it's not like a whole new world is going to open when she's going to college, which is the case in the USA because there the drinking age is set at 21.
-Most people going to college in my country still live at home, because living on our own is way to expensive and our country is tiny so travelling isn't that much of a big deal.
-We live like an hour from eachother, going to college doesn't change the distance (we live in a very small country). | My question is, do you think I should give it a shot, keeping in mind that when she graduates highschool she might change a lot... |
t3_558x9s | tifu | TIFU by buying the wrong flight tickets | I spent the entire morning trying to unfuck fucking up buying a plane ticket for the wrong day. I tried to rebook a flight to San Diego for the right day and ended up paying the $200 penalty fee with Delta and then the upcharge for the new flight fare. Then AFTERWARDS... I realized that it would've been more cost effective to cancel the flight, pay the $200 penalty and get back difference for my original flight purchase ($130) and then rebook. So then I spent the next hour of my life trying to cancel my rebook and then the original purchase. It worked, and saved $180 that way. | Bought flight ticket for the wrong date, then rebooked with penalty charges, and realized afterwards that it would've been cheaper to cancel original ticket. Basically, I am an idiot and a traveling noob. |
t3_keafg | Pets | Introducing a cat to a new dog? | Whats the best way to go about doing this? My family took in a stray kitten just about 2 years ago and besides the 3 months span where my last dog was still alive she has never really lived with a dog. We recently adopted a Black Lab, who is 2 years old and fairly big, but he is a sweetheart and would never hurt the cat. The cat unfortunately is scared out of her mind and is hiding in the basement, I checked on her and got her out of the corner, but the second she heard paws on hardwood she got right back in that corner. I don't want the cat to live in fear of this dog that would never hurt her. What is the best way to get her to like him, or at least tolerate him enough to get out of the basement? | Have a cat, just adopted a dog, cat isn't fond of dog and is hiding, dog doesn't mind the cat, how do I get the cat to at least tolerate the dog? |
t3_1iv5m6 | relationships | [20/M] Not sure what to do the the loneliness I feel | Throwaway for this.
So here's where I'm at right now with my life: I've been working a full-time job since I got out of high school in the industry I've always wanted to work in, been with my amazing girlfriend for over 8 months now going strong, and having two best friends to hang with.
But, that's just it. I feel like there is much missing with from my life that I could have right now, but I don't know what. Sure, I have a decent job making decent money, but as the old saying goes, money doesn't buy you happiness.
With how much I work each and every week (40+ hours, plus long commute), it's difficult to socialize as much as many other people I know do. I look at all my past high school classmates, and just see the large amount of people they interact with. My girlfriend as all her coworkers and personal friends she hangs with. She works part-time so she has a lot more free time to do things than I do. To go even deeper, she gets so many snapchats, texts, has all these social circles built up with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., and is constantly doing various activities with her friends, and my phone just sits silently with a occasional text from my girlfriend here and there, and maybe some work-related texts. I only have snapchat because she has it.
It's almost as if I want that kind of attention. I want to be able to talk to as much people as my girlfriend or other high school classmates do. They all went to school except for me, because I decided to get a jump-start on my career. Now I almost wish I did go to school...
The only three people I hang out with are my two friends and my girlfriend, and I don't want to come off as an overly attached boyfriend to her, constantly wanting attention.
My mind is frozen at this point with no next steps to take.
Can anyone help? | I feel lonely without many people to talk to as compared to my girlfriend and past high school clasmates, and don't know where to go from here. |
t3_2i4xpa | relationships | My [22 F] boyfriend [26 M] of over a year refuses to quit smoking. I feel like I'm nagging him to quit, but it's necessary because we both have asthma. | I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. We have lived together for one year. He is a guitar player with long hair who is addicted to cigarettes. He smokes everywhere he goes. He smokes in the car, he smokes in the house, he needs cigarettes to have bowel movements, he smokes at bars, etc. He has asthma but has been smoking since he was 13.
I also have asthma, but my asthma has become far more severe since being around him. I went from using an inhaler in winter to needing Advair every day. Advair is over $100 a month alone and I've gone through 10 albuterol inhalers so far this year ($60/inhaler). Besides the money, ash gets everywhere. It gets all over the house and I can't even go to bed at night without him smoking in bed.
My boyfriend says that he can't quit, but I don't see why he can't switch to an e-cigarete or chewing tobacco. I switched from smoking trees to edibles after my asthma got worse, so I really don't understand. I don't care so much that he quits tobacco, it's just that he needs to quit smoking. I've told him all of this, but it doesn't seem to stick.
My boyfriend has acknowledged that he needs to quit, but at this point it is severely hurting my health. Asthma is a chronic and progressive disease and each asthma attack damages my lungs permanently. I can't afford the medication or the health effects anymore. | Boyfriend says he should quit smoking cigarettes but won't. I suggested he try other tobacco forms, but he won't. I have severe asthma and can't keep on being with him if he is endangering my health. |
t3_4cnhmz | relationships | Me [28M] with my GF [26F] 4 years broke up due to her being mad I told a family member that she cheated | My girlfriend and I recently ended our relationship mainly due to her cheating. We tried to make it work but she found out I confided in my brother on what to do when I initially found out what happened. This of course pissed her right off and I basically said "fuck this" and we broke up. It just sucks because I keep thinking if I would have kept everything to myself we could possibly still be together. I'm not sure if this is just because the breakup is so fresh or if I am actually an idiot for telling someone I'm close with when I was really hurt.
Thanks reddit | GF of 4 years cheated on me in the summer, recently broke up because she was mad I told my brother she cheated |
t3_38jnj5 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 1 year, we took a break because she needed time to herself now I don't think she loves me anymore and wants to end things I don't know how to handle things. | I like to joke around a lot in our relationship unfortunately she does not, and takes a lot of it personally, I am very insecure and probably brought this relationship down because of it. So she was mad at me because of me saying stupid things that popped up in my head because of my damn insecurities, and she decided we should take a break from seeing each other for a week or so. I know I messed up and I love this girl, probably even want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I think she is falling out of love with me and is waiting for the right moment to end things I don't know what to do. I just want to treat her like the princess she is for dealing with my insecurity crap. I just want to love her and make things right. I really feel horrible for making her feel that way.
What do I do reddit? | I messed up, we took a break, and now I think she wants to end things, what do I do? |
t3_2osfnn | relationship_advice | I [19/m] feel like I'm slipping into, if not already in, the friend-zone with a complicated [19/f]. | Recently, a girl I like ended up staying at my house. I fell asleep with her sitting next to me and woke up an hour later to her cuddling me. Wake up the next day, make out for a bit, and ask her to go on a date with me a few days later. Fast Forward. Date comes up and it went really well! We hung out after dinner some. Kissed her a few times ask her if she wanted to do this again and she said yes.
However, roughly 6 months ago she went through a bad breakup with her first long term boyfriend. 2 days later, I give her a date idea and she gives me the "I don't want you to get the wrong idea" text. Basically said she "cares" about me, likes cuddling, likes hanging out. I tell her that i have feelings for her, she says that shes been blocked to feelings lately, that she "still just wants to be good friends", and that she doesn't share feelings but i make her happy.
**Am I screwed and in the friend zone, or does she just not want any romantic interest at the moment and there may be a chance? What do I do? | Got a semi-physical with a girl who went through a bad break up a bit ago, I fell for her too hard, she doesn't have mutual feelings for me and I may be friend zoned. |
t3_v0hn7 | AskReddit | Americans and non-U.S. folk alike: What innovations did your country invent/create/pioneer that you wish more people knew of and respected? | Reason I ask: With some of the threads today on what others do not understand about the U.S., or misconceptions people have about the U.S. and other countries, I was reminded of a time a few years back: My friends and I were visiting Amsterdam and Munich for a week (yay Oktoberfest!) and on the night train from AMS to Munich, we were throwing back some Heineken and talking to a group of Australians who were doing a 6 months backpack around the world trip (insanely cool thing to do!). They mentioned next stop was Canada, and we asked where in the U.S. they were going - they were not. None had been, but they felt they could get all the NorthAmerican culture they needed by seeing Toronto and Montreal, as "American gave the world jazz and hamburgers and not much else - the country just refined lots of things ideas other countries your people came from invented". Someone probably then made a dingo eating your baby joke. Awesome people, and maybe they just were giving us some shit, but, it got my friends and I thinking about the topic, as we encountered that point of view somewhat frequently. We came (somewhat drunkenly) to this list in around a minute:
*jazz
*the American Style Hamburger and french fries
*Rock and Roll
*The Internet
*The modern telephone
*Modern electrical systems powering homes and buildings
*The transistor
*The MRI
*Hip-Hop/Rap
*the electric guitar
We knew there were many more, and we realized too that there are many misconceptions of where food/arts/technologies really came from (i.e., one person invents the basic form, and a group in an other country gets credit because they made it mainstream, or perfected the idea). | So Reddit: What things did your country contribute to the world that people often forget, or is attributed to somewhere else falsely? |
t3_4fo58f | relationships | Me [29F] with my boyfriend [37M] of 9 months, he doesn't bring me to work events. | Basically we have been dating for 9 months now. We hang out 3-5 times a week, and I stay over there when we do. We are on each others social media, and have met most of each others friends/family. I have met a few people he works with, however he never invites me to work events like dinners, holiday parties, etc. This weekend there is a work event at a place I frequent, but he basically told me he doesn't want me to go.
He said he just wants to be in and out, and me being there will prolong the time he has to spend there. He also told me that he doesn't like his co-workers enough to introduce me/subject me to them because they're all "jerks" (he primarily works with males in a sales atmosphere). We had this same disconnect with his company Christmas party.
In general he is a pretty private person, and is pretty socially awkward. He would rather hang just the two of us or in small groups. I am a social butterfly who would love to go and chat with his colleagues, whereas that would be his nightmare if the tables were turned.
I tried to tell him that it hurts my feelings, makes me feel like he is embarrassed by me, and he just doesn't seem to understand. He thinks I am being ridiculous and was quick to point out that we spend a lot of time together- this shouldn't be a big deal. Why do you think he doesn't want me there, and how can I convey to him how I feel without putting him on the defense? | Boyfriend is very private about work and doesn't invite me to work events where SO's are welcome. It hurts my feelings. |
t3_12i5nk | AskReddit | Just finished watching "The Truman Show" for the first time since I was 8 years old. Anyone else feel like sharing about how that movie COMPLETELY fucked up their childhood. | I distinctly remember my mother taking me to this movie in theaters when it was first released. I was 8 years old. I don't remember immediately leaving the movie with any paranoia but from that day on I lived with a pretty constant fear that "The Truman Show" was my life.
I was skeptical of everyone that was not in my immediate family. I thought clerks at stores, mailmen, the bus driver, All of them were playing parts. Sometimes I was able to forget but I would say from 8 to about 10 or 11, EVERY SINGLE TIME that I went to use the restroom I had a phobia that there were cameras watching me. It was horrifying. I also remember waking up at night and looking around my house for cameras.
I would say that this effected me (or i had thoughts that I was being filmed as some part of a practical joke by something larger) from 8 until about 13. I think around that time I had to convince myself that the world was too big and the my life was NOT that interesting.
I have had conversations with people my age before about "thinking that my life was like that" but never really gone into depth about how fucked up I really was over it. It gave me severe anxiety on a daily basis. Anxiety that I was treated with medication for, but was always to scared to admit to anyone WHY i was upset because I thought they all were watching.
After watching it again, I don't feel silly at all. That is an extremely fucked up thing to put into an 8 year olds head. I think I need to call my parents and get some of this off of my chest.
Anyone else? Any people have different reactions or think this is crazy? | FROM 8-13 I THOUGHT I WAS BEING WATCHED. GOT PUT ON MEDS. NOT A FUN TIME FOR ME. |
t3_2ytnq0 | self | Feeling Helpless | I have a friend named "Mark" and he's a hell of a guy; funny, generous, kind-hearted and always putting others first. We both used to live on the east coast and he moved across the country about 5 years ago with his wife and daughter. We kept in touch as they struggled to find a place to live and bounced around between freelance jobs until he found a great fit. I made that same move over the summer and he and his wife are some of the only people we know in town. They've been over-the-top-supportive since we moved. Showing us around town, spending holidays with us and even helping me find freelance work.
This morning, I received a call from his wife telling me that their home burned down last night. They made it out of the house with their daughter and two dogs and everyone will be okay, but now they have to start over. I sat up in bed and tried to put myself in their position. Everything is gone. I saw a photo of the scene as firefighters were sorting through the wreckage and was shaken to my core. "Mark" had to spend the night in the burn unit but says he'll be fine. I spoke to him and he sounded really at-peace about the whole thing...way more put together than I would've been. He said something along the lines of "We're alive, everything else is an inconvenience. Those were just things".
The thing is, "Mark" was a collector of "things". He had amassed this impressive collection of all this geeky stuff he's into. Walking into his garage felt like roaming the halls at Comic-Con. Right now, their focus is on treating their physical wounds and will find temporary shelter in the homes of family and friends. I know all that stuff he had isn't at all a 'necessity', but I know being a collector brought him some joy.
I've offered my car, my home and my time but I can't help but feel like it isn't enough. I don't know what else to do. I just want to make them smile. I'm open to suggestions. | My only friend in town's house burned down and they lost everything. I'm super bummed about it and am looking for ways to contribute. |
t3_28g3hz | relationship_advice | My (29/m) girlfriend (20/f) cheated on me with another woman | We've been living together for over a year now and in a serious relationship. She has always liked girls (and before some of you make the "threesome playa" comment, she was not down for that as she would get jealous). I made it clear to her from the beginning that it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, it's cheating.
So the night. She called me on a Saturday early morning to admit she did something bad. She told me about sleeping with this girl after which I hung up. We continued to talk via SMS and she told me about how it happened in public and she went all of the way.
When this all happened, I was working on a job out of town so I didn't have time to think about it for a few days.
When I got back we had a talk. She left her phone in our apartment and I decided to check it (which I'm not proud of). I saw a recently added number called "barname". I asked her if she took anyones phone number specifically that night and she promised that she didn't. I then asked her what this number was about and that I checked her phone, she immediately ran to the toilet to vomit. After she got back, she said this guy (40 something) was begging to have sex with her and she exchanged numbers with him but cannot remember why she did it. This was 2 hours before she cheated on me.
Now I find it very hard to trust what she says. She is very sorry and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. To add* she promised that she'd never have done that with a guy as she thought a woman didn't count. | My girlfriend slept with another girl in public, after confessing, and promising to tell only the truth. I discovered she also took an older guy's phone number who was begging to have sex with her. |
t3_szbwh | tifu | TIFU | On Thursday (in this case TIFU stands for Thursday I Fucked Up) I was feeling low. I had lost my university card which give me access to my dorm and more importantly food. I was also low on cash. I bought a sandwich for lunch at noon and ate half of it then and saved the other half for dinner.
Dinner time roles around (about 8:30 pm) so i take my sandwich up to my friends room a long with a large quantity of wine, not intending to drink all of it. I start drinking on my way up the stairs. I get to my friends room see that she's asleep and since I can't talk to her about how shitty I feel I decide the next best thing would be to drink more. At this point I am drinking on an empty stomach, while on meds that increase the effects of alcohol, and I have blood sugar issues (when it gets low I want to kill myself). Within five minutes all the wine is gone...so I decide the best thing to do is not to eat my sandwich but rather, down a beer that I'd been keeping my friends fridge.
When I find that I am suddenly out of alcohol I decide it's time to get more wine from my room which is down two flights of stairs. So I stubble down the stairs while on the phone with one of my friends. Once in my room I take off my shirt and sit down so I can continue telling phone friend about how much I enjoyed having anal sex with him. When I look down I see that my boobs are covered in blood. My nose was bleeding. So I hang up the phone, get more wine and go back to my friends room shirtless and covered in blood. I mange to drink about half of my remaining supply before my friend wakes up and takes me to the bathroom to clean me up.
In the bathroom I roll on the floor (still shirtless) and tell everyone I see that I'm sorry for being so drunk and that I hate myself.
As I slowly sober up it becomes apparent that I got blood on absolutely everything. When I woke up the next morning I was wayyy too hung over to go to my favorite class. | Got super drunk, got a nose bleed, got blood all over EVERYTHING and ran around my dorm in just my bra telling absolutely everyone that I hate myself |
t3_36sq8x | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Friends [17-19 M/F] Last few years, Most of them are leaving for university and I have no idea how to deal with this | Ok right, this may not be a real problem like other people have here but this has been stressing me out and driving me crazy you months now and i dont feel like i have anyone to talk about my problems to, just some advice would be awesome
so im currenly doing an apprenticeship for the next few years, my friendship group(s) are based around my old school friends and people they met at college, and two or three people from the college i go to, but they've never met my other friends. (most of my friends go to a different college). They're all awesome people and I doubt i can top them, but anyway.
They're all leaving for university across the country barring a few who will still be near by. Basically leaving me with practically no friends around. The people i work with are all older than me and im only really friends with a few people at my college. Im really stressed out and scared by this and i dont know how to deal with it. 'I just need to make new friends' but i dont know how im going to go about doing that. Ive only really made firends through schooling really. Im just pretty much cluless on how to meet new people now. Im not socially awkward and ive always made friends easily but i just dont know how to go out and meet new people because ive never had to before, all of my friends ive met through school have been awesome. Christ it seems stupid writing this but hey, ive got no where else to go | All my friends are leving for uni, Completey clueless on how im going to make new friends. Aka, johnny no mates. |
t3_2vmdzs | needadvice | I have an interview for a post internship job. What should I be expecting? | I have become close to my supervisor and work has easily become more casual. He has stated that he will do everything in his power to help me get the job after I graduate college but it is not his sole decision. He has mentioned an hour long presentation that I will have to give to him plus 3 other higher-ups (I have met and worked with 2 of them). I was expecting this interview to be more of a formality because of the confidence that my boss has for me but then he dropped this bomb on me only a week before my interview. I have never given such a long presentation before and I am slightly freaking out. Please Help... | I am going into an interview that needs a 1 hour presentation on what I did for my internship. This will be my first time doing this and I don't know where to start. |
t3_38rsi2 | tifu | TIFU by not having bigger jacket pockets | So what happened actually happened today. Chillin with some good friends from junior high having just graduated high school, went to watch movie Spy at local neighborhood theater. One closer friend, lets call her Linda, gave me a card in a fairly large envelope. It didnt fit in my jacket pocket and I told her to hold onto it until after the movie, but she refused and said it was mine, so heres where i fuck up. I didnt want to fold it and kinda let it slot into a corner of my inner jacket pocket which would normally hold my phone, and i didnt zip up my jacket. Movie finishes, i walk out with friends, sit down to wait for Linda to use restroom, leave and chill at my place. I go to my younger brother's graduation, get home only to get a text from Linda asking if i had lost the letter. And thats when it hit me: that it had probably slipped after leaving the movie theater. She says there was $100 and a hefty paragraph. Now i feel terrible for literally wasting someone's time AND money. | Received meaningful gift from close friend, lost to carelessness at movie theater, feel terribad. LPT for reducing carelessness needed please |
t3_2giezz | tifu | TIFU by unintentionally calling a customer a dick head. | Okay so like everything in this sub this didn't happen today but a while back at my old job before I got into reddit.
So at my old job i used to work for this pretty natural pet food store we sold all sorts of good shit for your dog and cat. Was mostly really healthy, quite expensive foods that we sold, from kibble to raw we had it all. One of the regular things that would happen is we would have people put in special orders (SO's) and we would call them when their product would come in, they would come pick it up and they would be on their marry way.
This FU happened one day when a regular guy (who just so happened to teach at my old high school, never had him as a teacher, thank fuck) came in and said he had a special order. So it was a pretty busy day and I was getting sick of the place so I walk to the back room to look for the order thinking the customer was still up by the till area where they usually wait. So i walk into the back room while one of the other girls is on break and say "do you know where this dick heads special order is its: blah blah blah" she says ya in the freezer. I turn around to see the guy **IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. SHIT!!** with haste I get the nice mans order and try to be as polite as possible to him he seemed to sort of half forgive me but never really smiled after that.
The guy was nice enough not to escalate the ordeal to anyone higher up, guess he understood i was having a shit day. Always seemed whenever I would be working he somehow came in that day. Now selling bulk food maybe you see someone every 2 weeks minimum. Every time the guy would come in I some how ended up cashing him out. Never really said much after that incident. | Guy followed me to back room at work me thinking he was not there called him a dick head and felt like an ass hole. |
t3_3n4r6a | relationships | I [25 F] just found out my boyfriend [27 M] is a freemason, and I am not okay with it. | I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. I recently found out that he is part of the freemasonry fraternity and I am not okay with it.
I have never agreed with the fact of a "club"/group of people that discriminate against gender. It is a big deal to me. I cannot respect someone who has that mindset.
Aside from this, we have had very little problems or arguments in the past 6 months. I love him and want to be with him, but this is something I can not get over.
I do not want him to feel like I am making him choose between me or his freemasonry, but this is my one deal breaker that I cannot deal with. What do I do? | Just found out that my boyfriend is a freemason, and it is not something I am comfortable with and may be a deal breaker. |
t3_363swp | relationships | My [16f] boyfriend [16m] never shows me off. Am I asking for too much? | My boyfriend never shows me off. Showing off as in posting a simple picture of us and saying something nice. Am I asking for too much? We've briefly discussed this and he got pretty angry about it and felt it was childish and he didn't feel the need to do it.
He rarely will even take pictures with me. When I will post a picture of us and say something sweet he will generally ignore it or get annoyed which leads me to think he doesn't want anyone to know about us (although I'm pretty sure that's not the case). I will see other couples posting pictures of one another and saying sweet things and I have to admit it makes me jealous. I don't really want to bring it up again in fear of starting a fight..
So is it stupid of me to want this? Btw, we have been together for 14 months. Any advice? | Boyfriend of 14 months never shows me off. Briefly discussed it before with him and he got annoyed/angry. Am I selfish for wanting this? Is it too much to ask for? |
t3_2vjzy2 | relationship_advice | My [19M] best friend [19M] wants to date my ex girlfiend [18F] | I dated a girl for 2 and a half years in high school and had a pretty bad breakup 9 months ago. A month ago, we almost got back together before another awkward kind of break up. Two weeks ago, my best friend told me he really likes her and wants to date her, as they've been hanging out a lot since we broke up. He asked me after the Superbowl if it was okay if they dated, and at the time I told him yes before changing my mind a couple days later because I realized it would be too weird. Yesterday, he told me he was going to date her anyways and I pretty much yelled at him for an hour saying how we weren't going to be friends if he was going to date her. We talked again today and he thinks the best way to handle the situation is for them to not date until I tell them I'm okay with it, if I ever am. How should I be handling the situation? | Best friend wants to date my ex girlfriend, I told him no, he tells me he's going to do it anyways, I yell at him, he tells me he's now going to wait until I'm okay with it. |
t3_3m8mbn | relationships | My [17F] mom [40F] got back together with her ex [45M] who used to abuse me and my brother [15M] | About 7 years ago, my mom started dating this man. He seemed great at first but eventually he showed his true side. He would yell at and hit my brother. He also threatened to hit me if I didn't do certain sexual things to him. I didn't go to my mom about it because I was honestly afraid he might kill me.
After several years (2 years ago), I worked up the nerve to tell my mom. I was kind of surprised that she immediately believed me and broke up with him. He moved out of the house without speaking to me or my brother.
Two weeks ago my mom sat the two of us down to tell us that her ex had spent the last two years getting himself together in rehab and anger management. They had spent some time talking and she decided to start dating him again. She assured us that he wouldn't be moving back in until the two of us felt certain that we were safe with him.
He came over for the first time since they got back together on Sunday and stayed over every night since. It seems kind of like he's moved back already. He hasn't shown any signs of serious anger but he did comment to me about how grown up I've gotten in the past few years. That made me uncomfortable.
I don't know what to do about the situation. My mom insists that he's a changed man and my brother doesn't seem too bothered by him being back. I feel like it's just me and that I'm crazy. | My mom's boyfriend used to beat and molest me and my brother. She got back together with him because she thinks he's changed. I don't know if its true. |
t3_22a0fc | relationships | Me [26 M] please help with advice for how to break up with my [24 F] 2.5yr SO | Thank you for reading.
I have decided I need to end my relationship with my girlfriend. It's happening because I'm fed up with cleaning up her untidiness. It's beyond help I'm fed up and the relationship is going to be ended. Please don't suggest trying to talk it out or anything like that. I've been talking to her about it for the six months she's lived in my house but from what I can tell it was a complete waste of oxygen.
Here's the kicker though. Six months ago she moved 500 miles across the country to live with me, because I asked her to.
I can't just end the relationship, the closest place she can go is back with her parents 500 miles away. The only friends she has made while living with me are my friends so there is nowhere up here she can go after the breakup for us both to cool off.
How can I approach this. I'm ending my relationship with her because I'm tired of cleaning up her mess She's brought in so much shit into my house. We've talked about it but she's not listening and I want her out but I don't know how I can do it sensitively and get all of her shit out of my house.
If anyone has any advice for how I can get her and all her stuff back to the other side of the country with minimum time in between "relationship end" and "her stuff is out of my house" I would be grateful.
I was thinking along the lines of.
1. End relationship, be a gentleman and sleep on the sofa for a night.
2. Put her on plane home.
3. Send her stuff in the post.
I've also considered.
1. Make sure her best friend from south has no plans for weekend.
2. Break up with her on Thursday. Call southern friend and ask for his help. Buy him one way plane ticket.
3. Rent van
4. Her friend from south drives her and her stuff away on Saturday.
If anyone has any experience with a similar situation could you please let me know how you dealt with it.
Thank You. | Ending my relationship. Need advice for how to return girlfriend and her stuff to the other side of the country after the breakup. |
t3_45v18k | relationships | Me [18M] and my friend [18F] used to have a thing. Never did anything about it. She wants to be friends but Im not feeling like its worth it. | I liked her and she knew that. She's Muslim, she wears a hijab and dress. We openly liked each other for about two months a year ago but she went to another continent for summer vacation so we stopped talking. School began again. I told her I still liked her. It was weird. She would show interest but then say she didn't want anything relationship wise. That went on for a while. We kissed but then she told me that she was talking to another guy and that he was her first kiss and not me. I even know now that she has been talking to more guys. Things got weird. I didn't feel like I should continue to talk to her so I stopped talking to her.
However, she doesn't want me to stop talking to her. I know she just wants me for her emotional dilemmas. I know all her dramatic family problems. I'm the only one she can tell I guess. I kinda want to tell her that she's just using me, that she should talk about her problems with the guy she's currently talking to. Or I could just ignore her. She hit with a message about feeling empty and hollow. Idk maybe she's getting depressed. | Girl is using me for her emotional dilemmas. I want to tell her that she's using me. Don't think she sees it as using. I could tell her or just keep ignoring her. |
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