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t3_y5i4b | AskReddit | What's one of the coolest things someone's done for you? | Perhaps the greatest one I can remember happened in high school. I was in history class and we were watching "Schindler's List", I've seen it before so I pretty much drew cartoons most of the time (I was pretty notorious for being the kid "who drew pictures all the time")
There was this one kid who was just obnoxious and who like to single me out and being loud in class ("hey internetisland, how's it feel seeing your first pair of boobs?" for the scene where the chick shoots the kid after sleeping with an officer, btw it wasn't the first time too)
Do as I was drawing, he looks back and makes a loud, snide remark in front of the whole class. "What are you doing? Drawing more of your gay comics?" I felt all the eyes on the room shift from the movie to me, the heat of embarrassment setting in.
My history teacher, noticing this as he walks around the room pauses and then looks to me, then to the kid and nonchalantly replies; "Oh, you mean the ones that have you in it?" The entire class erupts in laughter and "ohhh!" as the kids's expression sinks from cockiness to utter humiliation. I have to say that was one of the coolest things anyone's done for me, especially a teacher. | Obnoxious bully taunts my drawings as gay, teacher comes to my defense and says that said kid is in them. Major burning ensues |
t3_4t6frb | relationships | My [49M] stepdaughter [27F] didn't invite her mom [49F] or anyone else from the family to her wedding. She has cut contact too and my wife is upset | My [49M] stepdaughter [27F] got married at the end of June. She did not invite her mom [49F] or anyone else from the family.
My wife divorced her first husband when their daughter was 1. It was not a good divorce. She also doesn't really get along with some members of his family and he's the same with hers. There is also fighting between members of the same family. Her daughter gets along with everyone so it was surprising that she didn't invite any one. Her mom was upset that her first husband was there at her engagement party but she did try to play nice until him and her first husband's family started with her and there was another fight between members of her family not related to her.
Her daughter was upset at all the fighting and said that if everyone couldn't get along for her none of them are coming. She didn't change her mind. I get why she didn't invite any of the family or my wife's first husband but my wife is her mother! The wedding was at some golf club and there was security checking IDs and invitations and my wife was not allowed in. My stepdaughter wouldn't take the calls. Apparently she invited her work mentor and five friends and the other few hundred people were his family. She also changed her last name but not to her new husband's name, instead to her work mentors name. Her phone number and email doesn't work anymore and no one from either side of her family has talked to her or seen her since the day before the wedding. She claims her mentor adopted her but she's 27 and not a kid. My wife hasn't even been able to see wedding pictures because my stepdaughter isn't on Facebook and her husband's families have theirs on private. My wife is upset about it and I don't know how to make her feel better. | My stepdaughter didn't invite my wife to the wedding or any other family members. She's cut contact and my wife is upset. |
t3_1pxxu8 | relationship_advice | [23/M] [23/F] Initiating sex in relationships: any different? | I [23/M] and my girlfriend [23/F] have been together for 2.5 months. We had a rough period but we made it through and it feels like we are more stable now. I am feeling happier as well.
However, at first we had sex every day. It just happened. We were in love, hormones flying around. But now that has slightly stabilized, which for me is understandable and fine. However, I might have to use a more proactive approach and let her know that I would like to have sex. This is all new to me though, since this is my first relationship. Are there any different techniques or moves you guys use, not only to let her know I want to but to make her want it as well? Or doesn't it differ from initiating sex while getting to know each other? | Girlfriend now, used to have sex every day, now it is less. What moves can I use to initiate sex and make her want it as well? First relationship, so tips are useful. |
t3_275zdg | tifu | TIFU By trying to play a joke on my wife | Sorry for the spelling and shit I'll correct later I'm on some weird pain meds at the moment.
My wife was sleeping since she had just got home from the gym and was laying there face up. So I decided to T-Bag her since we've been having a little game where we try to do that to each other (kind of like a game of tag we would try to get each other). Since she had gotten me the night before I felt like this was my time of revenge.
Since she was sleeping I carefully got on the bed and spread my legs out over her face. She wasn't going anywhere I decided to make it more funny by taking it to the next level (bad idea). I took by ballsack out the side of my shorts since I'm going full commando and begin to lower my scrotum into her open/snoring mouth. When that happened apparently my sack completely covered her airways so she woke in a panic. During that panic she managed to bite down on my ball sack and it started to bleed like crazy. She began crying and apologizing while also trying to figure out wtf just happened. I'm writing this from my hospital bed since the doctor said I should be walking too much. Even if your not religious please pray for my jewels. | tried to have my sleeping wife gargle my nut sack, but she woke up in a panic and bite my balls. |
t3_4msv21 | Parenting | Did we shoot ourselves in the foot? Trying to transition our 6 month old from co sleeping to sleeping in crib and he is not happy about it. | When our son was first born we were terrified to try co sleeping. didn't want to roll over or have the lil guy on his stomach. He was a bassinet baby until about 4 months old. He never slept great in there and it took 1-3 tries of putting him down in there to actually get him to stay asleep most nights he would wake up for no reason and need to be lulled back to sleep.
After the 4month mark we discovered the miracle of co sleeping. He stayed asleep the first time, every time. my wife sleeps on her back and the baby sleeps on her stomach. It's been great the amount of sleep we (the parents) can get with the baby so comfy on his mom, he only wakes up to eat now.
Not sure when to start putting him back in his crib, we decided to try it now. For the passed week we've been trying to put him in his crib when he first falls asleep for the night (after he's had 30mins to get into a deep sleep laying on his mom), but no matter how deep of a sleep he's in, he instantly wakes up when we lay him down in the crib. Reminds me of the old days when he was less than 1 month old and we would lay him in the bassinet.
Is it critical that we do this transition now? We're not sure when we should start. | Any tips for getting a 6mo to sleep better in his crib when hes been co sleeping for the passed two months? |
t3_3jsxx8 | relationships | Me [26/F] with my [40ish/F] co-worker who is lying in order to get another [18/F] coworker fired. | I started a new job six months ago. I worked full time until two weeks ago when I dropped down to one shift per week in order to go back to school. I really enjoy my workplace but I'm not heavily invested in my job at the moment.
I usually work with Co-Worker A, but last week I worked with Co-Worker B, and she acted quite horribly to me. This week I worked with my usual co-worker, and I told her about how horribly I had been treated by Co-Worker B.
Co-Worker A then told me that Co-Worked B, and her two friends who also work there, are basically adult bullies, and I am lucky not to work on their hall because they treat another person, Co-Worker C, like that.
Co-Worker C is a lovely young lady. This is her first job. I have worked with her several times and she has always been a competent worker and a pleasure to work with.
Apparently Co-Worker B and her two friends are jeopardizing Co-Worker C's job by saying that she is a bad worker. I know from experience that Co-Worker B's behavior makes it difficult for anyone to do their job well, and that Co-Worker C is actually quite good at her job.
I want to say something because I believe from comments that were made to me in the past that I am only now understanding their context, Co-Worker C is in danger of losing her job. | My coworker is being bullied and is going to lose her job because the bullies are saying she is bad at her job but I know when I work with her that she is actually very good at her job. What should I do? |
t3_m5qug | Parenting | Fun stuff for sick 4-year-old? | So after a quick (no really, FAST) trip to the ER Sunday, we discovered my 4-year-old DD has strep throat. She is a VERY active girl. Her unmedicated temperature is over 102. When she is unmedicated, she has no problems laying still, because her entire body hurts, however the moment the Tylenol kicks in, she wants to play. Of course, I understand, but what can I do to keep her still AND pain-free? We've been doing movies and coloring and one puzzle, but she gets bored with these activities, as any child would. Books can keep her attention, but again, only for so long. Even though most of today was spent alternating or sleeping, I am worried about the rest of the week. | I am at home with my sick daughter. What can I do to keep her from being too active? What are some calm games/activities we can do? |
t3_4hn791 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 4 months, should I go home? | Hey,
I am Irish and I moved to an Italian city for 3 months in January to learn Italian before returning to studying next year. While I was here I met a girl and decided to stay in Italy until the end of the summer to spend time with her. I have got a job and am ready to move into the flat.
The problem is that my girlfriend is not sure on the idea of a relationship. She says she doesn't want to lose me but can't commit to four months in order to see what happens. She says that there is a chance that things could go downhill and then I will be left in the city without any friends for months.
I have two options: I can take a flat for a minimum of four months and risk being very lonely or I can return home this weekend, probably never to see her again (this idea absolutely kills me but it seems to be the correct one in my mind). To add to the problems, I only got the job about 3 weeks ago so I would have to quit as soon as I started. Also, home life is not that much better as all my friends have left Ireland for university but at least I will have my family.
Any advice would be welcome. Is my intuition correct? Should I go home? | Moved to Italy for 3 months, met a girl and stayed. She is not sure that she wants to be with me longer term and so need to make decision on whether to stay and risk it or to go home. |
t3_lf8mn | AskReddit | I need help, reddit, am I wrong? | Me and my girlfriend had an arrangement that if we didn't see each other for a while, we could hook up with someone else, as long as we told each other before it happened. We'd seen each other about every 3 weeks, so I saw no need to act on it.
I casually brought it up in conversation, and she said that she'd brought it up to one kid (who I despise, but that's neither here nor there), and that nothing had happened. After stewing over this for a week I decided that I wasn't ok with it, even though I thought I was at the beginning. She starts getting mad at me and kind of crying and kind of mumbling and stammering.
I asked her whats wrong and she's like but what about you, you still get a free card, right? I had no idea what she was talking about. Turns out a couple of weeks after we made the agreement she slept with a guy. THIS WAS A MONTH AND A HALF AGO. She had brought him up as a possibility but kept dismissing him as a little too douchey and eventually left it alone, she never even said he was a solid possibility, much less that she was gonna go through with it.
I got PISSED. She was supposed to fucking tell me WAY before hand so I could give her permission. She kept asking why I was mad, I told her, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME. She keeps saying that she didn't know before, because she didn't plan to. THAT'S MY POINT. But, she won't listen and is trying to say that I'm being mean saying she's a bad person, which I never said.
Am I wrong to be pissed that she DIDN'T warn me, and then waited a MONTH AND A HALF until she fucking told me. I have ZERO issue with the fact she slept with him, that was part of the deal, that doesn't bother me, I'm not that insecure. It's the fact that she didn't tell me before, and then just decided not to tell me for a fuckin' month and a half. Opinions? | Had an arrangement to sleep with other people as long as you gave prior warning. She didn't, then didn't tell me for a month and a half. |
t3_4furrn | relationships | A year ago I[23F] met someone[29M] on one of the subreddits, we've only talked through social media and our conversations were pretty intimate. Yesterday I found out that he's been in a relationship for the past ~4 years and engaged for the past 2. Should I leave it alone? | I've also posted on /r/AskTrollX so I'm pasting the comment here.
So yeah, I met this guy a year ago through reddit and we added each other on social media, we sent each other pretty intimate pictures and most of our conversations became pretty personal. After a while I asked him if he had a Facebook account and he said no, because it was too much drama and it was better to contact people through the phone. I also asked how come he wasn't in a relationship because this person is REALLY attractive, well apparently he wasn't looking for a relationship since he moved to another state for "work" and lived alone. After 6 months we stopped talking because it became annoying getting asked to send sexy pictures without actually wanting to meet or get to know each other. We began talking again three months ago and he started mentioning how he'd come and visit me. Our conversations stopped about a month ago with no reason, I just didn't get any replies to my last message. Ok, no big deal, I haven't even met this person.
Well, last night I kept thinking about him and if he was telling the truth. I know you guys might not like this next part but I went online to see if I'd be able to find who this person is. Well, I ended up finding his personal reddit account, Facebook account and turns out he's been engaged for the past two years. This guy also has another private account where he comments about adding girls on social media, and just a lot of inappropriate behavior.
I need advice. I feel like the obvious answer is to leave this alone because I don't know this person IRL but after everything we talked about and everything I saw I don't know the right thing to do. I wouldn't want to marry someone that has done this kind of stuff for the past year or even more. | Guy I've talked to for the past year is engaged. We've exchanged very personal pictures and had intimate conversations. Not sure if I should let his partner know considering I don't know both of them. |
t3_1zagbd | legaladvice | More questions on sexual harassment accusation at a job and the fact that we've been told nothing [Ohio] | I asked a question recently about what has been going on with my partner. [Details here] He called the Union rep numerous times, always being told that they would talk to the employer and call him back. They never called back, and he received a letter in the mail saying the investigation was concluded and he is fired. I am really confused as to how this is ok? He was never even allowed to defend himself, or say a word about what supposedly happened. He still hasn't been told what got him fired, just that he violated "rule 4" and is terminated for it.... Is this allowed? Is it ok for the employer to fire him without allowing him a chance to dispute it? What really upsets me is that another man was accused by someone at the same time as my partner, but that man was never even investigated... And then a friend of mine was accused years ago, and he was allowed to keep his job. It's the same company, so why are people being treated differently like this? | My partner was accused of sexual harassment and fired without ever being told why, or ever having a meeting to discuss things and tell his side. Is that even allowed? |
t3_2636go | relationships | I [16 M] have liked a girl [16 F] for a while now, and someone told her that I liked her. I don't talk to her often, as I tend to be shy with girls. How should I react to this situation, how should I talk to her, and how do I get her to like me? | I've liked this girl in my highschool for quite a while. She's in one of my classes.
I tend to be shy with girls, and since I have a huge crush on her, I rarely have the courage to talk to her. I've been lusting over her for a few months now. I've told a few people about this crush.
All was well until I found out today that she knows I like her. One of my friends told another one of my friends that she said, "I know Mark (me) likes me". I was devastated, and I have no clue what to do.
I want to get with her so badly, but she's out of my league. And now that she knows, my whole world has come crumbling down. What should I do? How should I react? Can I play this out? | My crush [F 16] has found out I [M 16] like her, and I have no clue what to do. |
t3_3rjqdn | personalfinance | Company I've never had an account with sent a bill to a collections agency that I believe may be illegitimate... | Hello, I did the Credit karma check and it says I have an account in collections, $89 from Charter Communications that was from Jan. of this year and sent to collections in March of this year to a company called ERC out of Florida.
I called Charter and they affirmed that it must be a mistake because they have no record of an account with me and I live in an area that can't even receive their service. They tell me to call collections.
I call ERC "headquarters" in Florida and its instantly "Here's your chance for a free cruise, answer these 3 questions", then I hit no that I don't want it and it says " Are you sure you don't want a cruise for 2 for only $52 a person?" So I hit no and it hung up on me.
Now, I got an email from customer service of ERC on all lowercase letters to send them my SS number full name and address with scanned credit report copy...it freaks me out, I think they are a scam. What do I do to get this off my credit report? | company I've never dealt with sent a false bill to a collections agency that tried to give me a cruise when I called them to straighten it out. I need it off my credit report Asap. |
t3_2j9n0z | relationships | My friend(23F) is upset over how I(24M) treated her repair of her computer. | I was visiting my ex at her place to fix my job transfer after we broke up.
One day, I started to use her computer for something I wanted to watch on her laptop like I used to before.
While using it, I got the pinwheel of death and forced shutdown on her laptop. When it came time to turn on I got a prohibited sign (this is registered as a hard drive crash). After all efforts I took it to a shop to have it repaired. My ex bought the hard drive and I paid for the repair.
After we came back, she turns it on and loses her shit crying about how her old programs aren't on there(all other documents and user data are there), that finder on her Mac won't work.
While she's yelling at me, I decide to take a walk to go cool down to come by k to find my stuff thrown out. | ex is mad that computer repair place got her laptop to work but missing finder working and programs installed. What do I do? |
t3_2xp0dl | relationships | My [F22] boyfriend [M25] admitted to me that he is a crossdresser. | My[F22] boyfriend[M25] of 2 years admitted his deepest, darkest secret to me yesterday. He told me that he likes to crossdress. He is a manly country guy that likes to hunt, fish, and work on cars.
He admitted to me yesterday that he use to have bras, panties, and stockings. He told me that when we moved in together, he got rid of them all since he did not want me to find out.
He told me that he has done this since he was younger. His mom use to dress him in dresses and he enjoyed. She probably did this due to not having any girls.
He told me he would put on my panties and bra, put on his clothes and enjoy sitting around the house. He thinks it relaxes him and he says that it is nice to not have to be a macho man all the time.
I cannot talk to any of my friends or family about this. I just want your opinions and advice about this. I can't stop thinking about this.
I will not leave him and can't imagine my life without him. I told him I just don't want him to do this around me. Is this normal, Reddit? I need some advice to help me get through this. | My boyfriend of two years admitted to me yesterday that he has cross dressed all of his life. I need advice to help me get through this and how to handle this. |
t3_3kmitc | relationships | Me [32 F] with my husband [37 M] needs help! | I'll make this short and sweet. My husband NEVER talks about his feelings voluntarily. Just recently he told me that he feels unfulfilled with his job.
I work in a VERY fulfilling job where I help people everyday. Though I'm exhausted at the end of the day, I feel happy about what I'm doing. It took a Master's degree to get to where I could help people in the way I really wanted to.
My husband does not have a college degree. He works a well-paying white-collar job where he makes about as much as I do. But, he doesn't feel fulfilled. He is smart, kind, and has a huge heart. He wants to make money but still feel fulfilled. He is basically on call all the time, so he can't really do volunteer work. He wants to keep his current IT job until we can save enough for a house. I've always told him he is so great at his job because he is kind and patient with the people who call him for help.
What can I do to help my husband? I have offered that he go back to school and fulfill his dreams (marine biology) but he doesn't think he'd make enough money. I've made it clear that we can survive on just my income, but he doesn't want that. He wants to be comfortable.
I asked him if he thinks money is fulfillment, and he said no but he wants to be fulfilled without reducing our quality of life. I love him and would easily decrease our current spending to make him happy.
Reddit, what has made YOU fulfilled without volunteer work? I don't know what I can do to help him. Thanks. | My husband is a smart, caring, and generous man with no time in his day to do volunteer work because he is always on call for computer issues. How can he be more fulfilled? |
t3_ti5ag | relationships | How to dump a friend/coworker? | Reddit,
About 2 years ago I (30/M) was at a party with a coworker and ended up cheating on my wife with this person (29/F). The details of what happened are mostly irrelevant. What happened was shameful and I eternally regret it. My wife never found out and I kept quiet, living through my own guilt and personal hell. She apologized for the entire thing and said she also regretted it, but wanted to stay friends and professional at work.
She said she considers me her big brother and didn't want to totally ruin our friendship of several years. Afterwards I distanced myself from the coworker, cut off all contact, and avoided all social situations that involved her. Unfortunately because of our work environment and profession, it was inevitable that we would run into each other and be forced to work together on certain projects. She wanted the friendship more than I did, and as a result we still kept up communications (text/email) on a very generic level. Nothing sexual or romantic has been implied and it's all been strictly platonic.
A year later I moved out of state to a completely new job and away from all my old coworkers. The old coworker emails me and says she will be in town in a few weeks and wants to get together and hang out, either with me or with me and my wife together. I feel like it's time to completely annihilate this relationship with her -- but don't know of the most gentle way to do it. She obviously is into the friendship more than I am and I'm not the kind of person to just tell a person to fuck off. What's the best way to go about doing this?
I'm in a completely new job in a completely new city with completely new friends, and don't want to be reminded of any of my old relationships or past mistakes. | Cheated on wife with old coworker. Stayed platonic friends, but now I wanna cut off all contact. How do? |
t3_2zvnn8 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [19 F] 2 years, have had many issues I think I want to break up. | So gonna try to make this as short as possible but I do want to give some good details. I have been with my GF for two years as of this month. She previously cheated on me a little bit past the 1 year mark. Just texting guys no pics to my own knowledge I let it go its in the past mostly except I still cant trust her. Anyways we just always argue like always. I hate work really like tremendously.
Really though when im home shes always mad like all the time. Just I dont know what to do anymore. I dont trust her. She even seems unhappy which she says shes not. I just feel so down and not me with all this. Everything is an issue. I cant even go out with friends anymore cause they dont want to be around her. Cause she constantly bitches me out about everything.
I dont know what to do. I have spent two years with this girl. It might be time to call it quits though. I just dont know how to do it. Im scared she will go crazy or kill herself. She has really rough depression issues. It is really scary for me. Also dont know how it will affect me. I mean will it really makes things better or worse.
Sorry im just ranting and the grammar is horrible I know but any help will be amazing. | Girlfriend problems she kinda cheated before. I still dont know how to trust her. I want to break up but I dont know how or if I really want to. |
t3_32mb6y | relationships | Do you think it is possible to be a just friend after break up? Me [23 F] with my ex boyfriend [24 M] about a half year. | After a half year relationships, we got faced into the long distance relationship so we decided to break up peacefully. I even went to the airport to farewell him.
Now officially we are friends. I unfriended him on facebook though, still we text each other. (I just couldn't stand see his News and stop stocking him...... so I decided to make him unfriend) To be honest I still want him and to be together somedays. I also know it can be different to reunite again in the future and we may have an unhappy ending in the end. But he was the first man I liked so much and almost perfect match with my ideal type so I feel like I won't be able to be satisfied with others.
As you see I have a lot of misery about him that's why I still contact with him and at least want to be a friend. | Does man usually also think like me when they continue the friendships with ex-girlfriend? or Is it possible to be "a just friend"? |
t3_38yaud | relationships | Me [22 M] with my SO [23 M] of 18 months, found out he sends naked pictures to his ex and has been had visits from another ex in secret | Im still shaking, thinking about it. I checked out my boyfriend's phone when he was out of the house, meaning no harm, and found out he has been hanging out with his previous boyfriend multiple times without me knowing. He did tell me they were friends now but always acts as if the guy is working on his nerves trying to keep in touch. I found out he has been seeing him in secret, presumedly just to talk, but I'm not sure. Whenever I asked him what he did the days of them hanging out, he always covered it up. If it wasn't for me snooping around I wouldn't have known.
I was shaking as I was looking through the texts, and then decided to check out the conversation of him and another one of his exes. He always told me the guy had hurt him deeply and that he was just trying to get past that by becoming normal friends. I've always asked him to be careful in conversation with this guy and to hold back a bit, because the guy was clearly still trying to get back together with my boyfriend. They couldn't meet because of distance though (different countries). Now in this conversation I found texts of both of them telling eachother how hot they were and how horny they made eachother, of them getting in a relationship in the future, the guy telling my boyfriend to 'not hold back' when they got to meet up and my boyfriend saying he'd see and that I was still holding him back because he "loves" me. And then I saw that my boyfriend had sent him naked pictures of himself, as in completely naked and sexy poses. He was asking for pictures of the other guy in return. Even worse is he sent me the same pictures at the same moment..
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I would be able to trust him again or if this isn't even that big of a deal. Haven't confronted him yet and he is not aware that I know of these conversations.. | My boyfriend sends naked pictures to an ex and has been hanging out secretly with another ex. He doesn't know I found out. |
t3_yvs2k | relationship_advice | 26/f Journey to degree has separated my partner 27/m and I. Advice? | Have been married for 6 years to husband 27/m. I am almost done with Bachelors degree and am having a bit of a crisis. My journey to obtain this degree has put the two of us on totally different paths. We have little in common anymore which is a problem. The bigger issue is that we were supposed to be doing this together, this was supposed to be a journey we both took. Husband didn't continue with his education. He is not content in his dead-end job, but refuses to put forth any effort to make a change. Every semester that passes, he assures me he will try again next time around. However, every semester that goes by, it seems like we get farther apart. I have changed. I have different beliefs, different values, different goals; I am not the same person I was before I started. He even says he doesn't know who I even am anymore. I try to make myself involved in things he enjoys in order to have some common ground, but it really hasn't worked. Also, he makes no effort to do things I enjoy, which is alarming.
I really don't know how to make this work. My feelings are that this won't work unless he goes to University. I am acknowledging that is very narrow minded. What other options are there?
I love him dearly. I could accept it if he decided not to ever go to University if that isn't what he wants to do with his life....but the distance issue still exists.
Has anyone else experienced this type of situation, and how did you get through it? | journey to degree has separated husband and I as he is not educated beyond high school. I have changed. Attempts at finding commonalities has been unsuccessful. What to do? |
t3_1d64t6 | relationships | Me [M24] was jokingly?? threatened no sex by gf [F26] | I'm [M24] in a great relationship with my gf [f26], 3 months. Emotionally connected, sex is great, etc. However I was teasing her last night about something (it was so trivial I forgot) and she (I *THINK*) half jokingly responds, "No sex for you!". In my head I screamed, "WOAH", because this is the second time she's said this. Previously shes said it but has not brought it up or used it against me, and there has been a lot of sexy time in between then. Of course the concern is that she might WILL use it one day against me. Am I making a big deal out of this? If I am NOT, how do I bring this up to her?
A few background infos: I am her first real relationship (she's a late bloomer). So far she has been very aiming to please (me). | SO (probably) jokingly threatened to withhold sex. Didn't make a big deal on the outside but I know what could *potentially* be a red flag in the future. |
t3_2tkfic | relationships | I [18F] have been too clingy with my boyfriend [18M] of 1 year when he goes out with his friends. Help? | Hey reddit! I'm in a really awesome relationship except for one thing - I find myself being too clingy. More specifically, I've expressed anxiety when my boyfriend opts to go out clubbing etc. with his friends and I've realised that this is to do with my own trust issues and nothing to do with him because he's been the sweetest boyfriend and has never given me any reason to distrust him.
We've talked about it and he says he now hesitates to go out and feels limited because of my worries. We both put a lot of effort into our relationship - being kind, loving and respectful of one another, having a laugh, being open with one another - but this has become a sore spot. Just to be clear - I've never demanded that he not go out/to certain events but I realise that by expressing my anxiety I'm pretty much indirectly doing so. I feel horrified that he feels restricted because that's the opposite to the type of gf I want to be.
Through a lot of reflection I've come to a point where I genuinely am happy when he gets to go out with his friends, but how do I show him that
a. I'm sorry
b. I really am GENUINELY happy for him to go out
Also, any advice from former clingers on how you dealt with these problems in your relationship and dealt with your own insecurities and worries are really welcome :) Thanks in advance reddit! | I've been a clingy and anxious girlfriend when my boyfriend goes out with his friends. How to show him that I'm sorry and genuinely happy for him to go out? |
t3_xhsw9 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's something you've witnessed that just broke your heart/made you "WTF!" really hard. | Today at the mall, my two 1/2 year old sister wanted to go play in the children's play area for a bit. She climbed into one of these makeshift cars and these two boys (brothers, I'm pretty sure) joined after a few minutes. As she was laughing and having a good time, one of them shouted at her, "GO AWAY!", and tried pushing her out of the car. My sister shrugged and left. THIS broke my heart, just thinking about my little sister ever getting bullied in the future and how kids can just be awful sometimes.
A few minutes later, my sister went off to play on the slide. These two brothers were still in the car when this little boy came along (probably around my sister's age) wanting to play with the car as well. So, he climbed in. Suddenly, I see the brothers punching the little boy in the face repeatedly telling him to get out. He's bawling his eyes out as his mom runs and picks him up, scurrying away.
The kicker? The brothers' father was sitting RIGHT there, maybe a couple meters away, unmoved by all that happened. All he did was stare at them without a care in the world. THIS made me "WTF!" really hard. | little sister gets bullied by two brothers, same brothers punch other little boy in the face, brothers' father does/says nothing. |
t3_toen2 | relationship_advice | We're getting married in a couple weeks, but the other half's up to no good... | **I will say in advanced**: I'm half in the wrong here.
Back story:
My fiance was having problems last night with Windows Outlook popping up on his computer so I helped him out.
An email he had in the Draft folder caught my eye was addressed to a female with the subject line, "Let's view each other" and then asking if she was there, signed him. We took care of the problem, but it had been nagging at me.
Then, through [again, I'm in the wrong for the right reasons] email checking on his computer, I find he created a couples profile in an adult match maker site for us without my knowledge. (We had taken down our last profile in February.)
I had requested late last year that he not go cam2cam with other women without me, at the very least...so he took the webcam down.
I love this man with all my heart, and I wouldn't want to come off as a bitter shrew (I'm all for porn, X-rated stories, sex, sex, sex) but when does it go too far?
What would be the best way to let him know that I'm onto what he's doing without putting him on the defensive?
Thank you. | Thought fiance was trying to screw around using an adult matchmaking site...turns out he was trying to find us friends. |
t3_4ffg64 | relationships | I[22 F] have feelings for my friend [21 M] of 3 years but time is not on my side. | I'm starting to have feelings for a friend that I've had for 3 years again. We both had feelings for each other at the beginning of our friend relationship but we quelled those very quickly. For the past 3 years, he and I have been in and out of our own separate relationships, with his ending about 2 months ago.
At the moment, we've been flirting a lot through messaging and we have kissed and fooled around a little bit and since I'm re-developing feelings for him, I'm concerned about our relationship.
I have a feeling that he's rebounding since he did not receive a lot of affection in his past relationship and I don't want to be a rebound. I would really like to date him one day, but since he is fresh out of a relationship, I don't expect him to be ready anytime soon.
I'm going abroad for several weeks this summer and I'm worried that I'll miss any chance at asking him out since that is coming up really quickly.
I would appreciate any advice on if I should drop it and move on, or ask him out at some point. I am having a hard time figuring out if he does like me or if he is just rebounding.
Thank you!! | I have feelings for my friend, but he's newly single. I'm going abroad for the summer and I'm not sure what to do! |
t3_1268rj | relationships | Girlfriend of two years wants to take a break | My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. She is a freshman in college and I am in a senior in high school. Her college is about 15 minutes from my house. So last night she told me she thinks she needs to take a break from "us". Basically she just feels overwhelmed from school and a new life and having to worry about me. She doesn't want to Miss out on new things because she is worrying about me. About a year ago my brother who was 21 died. I feel like she has tried to carry my emotional problems with her and also her own. I think that I could help her take some of that burden off her. But she insists that if we were meant to be together, then we will end up together. We have never really had any problems before this. Is this break a good idea, or should we be working this out in a different way? | My girlfriend(18F) wants to take a break from two year relatuonship with me (18M) to get adjusted to her College life and to make sure she experiences it. |
t3_2lccyc | relationship_advice | why is She(22F) upset at me(22M) for not talking to her recently. | Me and this girl have been friends for a little bit. I felt like there has been an attraction between us so I asked her if she thought so. She said she thinks there is something between us but she doesn't want to pressure it.
I asked her if her if she wanted to see where it could go, no pressure. Then she said she's doesn't know and wants to stay friends. I'm okay with that.
So I wanted to pull back a little and do my own thing. I haven't been texting her or asking her to hang out for the past two weeks. She texted me the other day saying, "Why havent you been talking to me since the last time we hung out?" I responded by saying," ive been busy lately with A bunch of work and other things (which i actually have been). She seemed a bit upset or mad.
What does this mean? does she like me? | I wanted to separate from this girl I like for a little bit to work on myself and goals after I asked her if she wanted something more from our friendship. Now she seems upset |
t3_lx57n | AskReddit | Can anyone tell me what to do with all my old fantasy books that are collecting dust? (More info inside) | I have EVERY book printed in the Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance settings up to around 2004. (Elminster series, The Harpers, Tale of the Lance etc.) Most of these books could be considered collectors items because of them all having their original print covers and not the reissue covers. Also almost everything Raymond E. Feist and R.A. Salvatore have written outside of those fantasy settings.
Now my problem is that they are just sitting in my parents basement collecting dust back in Michigan (I live in TX) and I would love to sell them to someone to help gain some tuition money for myself but I have no idea of its worth. So any offers would be great. Also I have no problems donating them to any person/organization that would put them to use and not sell them.
But, like I said I need to raise money for next semester so someone please tell me their worth!
Additional Info: Although these books are out of print and could be considered collectors items they have seen tons of use. I have read and re-read most of the books 5+ times and they are all dog eared and worn for the most part. | Have an enormous trove of Forgotten Realms/Dragonlance books that are collecting dust and want to sell or give them away. |
t3_15mxnq | dating_advice | I'm a [M, 16] dating a [F, 16] we've been together for Two weeks, and we hit our first rough patch on our fourth date, Thursday night. | I'm using a throwaway, I have some friends that would know who I'm talking about.
A week before was our third date,and we were watching a movie in my room, and we only went as far as making out, and afterwards, she told me that was her first kiss. So fast forward to Thursday night, there we are making out again, after some time I thought, "This is my chance." I whisper "Do you want to go a little further?"
"Maybe we should take things slow" she whispers back. I put my hand on her hip and say
"I'm not asking for sex." But then she says she thinks it's time for her to leave, but really wasn't, at first I didn't take her seriously, but when I heard how uneasy she was breathing, I was convinced she was afraid or at least nervous. So I didn't argue, I driven her back home an hour early. I was more mad at myself, and I think she could notice by the tone in my voice, but she was just fine, and still chatty while I was driving her back.
I would try to bring it back up, but she would refuse to talk about it, We arrived to her house, and I gave her a kiss before she walked back into her house. It's been years since I've been mad at myself for something like this. Texting has been a bit awkward, but recovering. I've been trying to keep my distance by not texting repeatedly. And I'm waiting for her to be the one to make the next plan for a date, so she would be the one to feel comfortable. Things aren't the same like they used to be, how do I fix this? If you've read this far, thank you, and especially a huge thanks for leaving some advice. And sorry about the formatting. | I asked my GF to go a little further than making out, she has a slight panic attack, I take her home no problem, things aren't the same like they used to be, how do I fix this? |
t3_4ymzm5 | relationships | Me [19M] with my GF [19F] 1 year, Just found out that my College GF who lives in another state will be transferring for the fall. | So me and my gf met in the very beginning of freshman year and think escalated very quickly and have been dating for almost 10 months. I'm not going to go into many details but we have both been in relationships before and we both feel as if we really have a future. She has helped me with life more than I thought anyone ever could.
Even though her parents are pretty well off, they don't have enough liquid capital so fund her next year of college and she has been denied every scholarship/loan available so she will not be returning. She lives across the country so the future of this relationship is pretty non existent without school.
Everything reminds me of her when I look around. Even in my hometown I will be in a place that I remember sending her a picture of, talking to her about, etc. Losing her is like losing apart of me and I don't know how to cope with this. Even though i'm young I just really feel like she was the one and I just don't know how to deal with this. She was the one who encouraged me to get mentally evaluated to deal with my mental illness. Im sorry if this is pretty badly structured but i'm just so lost...... | My gf of almost 1 year will be transferring so we are forced to break up. I'm at a total loss of how to cope/react considering she's a major part of my life at this point. |
t3_2cuztp | personalfinance | Lows interest rates; should I think about switching banks? | I am 22 years old, about to start work on a PhD. I currently have ~$25k in my 3 accounts (savings, money market, and checking) at the same bank, a local credit union. My checking and savings accounts are currently at 0.00% interest, while my money market is at 0.05%. I'd had a 6-month CD that I'd been renewing for the past several years, but I finally stopped renewing after the interest rate on the CD fell to 0.05%.
1) Are these rates abnormally low?
2) Do the interest rates fluctuate quite a bit (i.e. might a bank offering low interest rates one year have high interest rates the next year, or are certain banks consistently at the top/bottom?)
3) Should I consider switching banks?
I'm using this credit union since my dad's used it for 30-some-odd years, and I've had an account there for as long as I can remember.
I'm getting an assistantship to attend grad school, but it pays less than $2000/month, and it stings to see my interest be at <$1 per month while inflation is around 2%. | $25k in bank, no debt, bank's interest rate is 0.05%, will be making peanuts for the next 5 years, should I consider switching to a bank with a higher interest rate? |
t3_3nfdxr | relationships | Me [25F] is in untold love with my boss[35M] for 5 months. need advice. | He is not working for anybody. so there won't be any legal issues dating me. but as far as i know, he is not interested in dating coworkers :(
I don't know if he likes me. He is super-nice to me. He is tough with others, if he have to. I am good looking, i guess. I have seen him checking me out,not in a creepy way or anything. I am really confused
I don't know what to do. He care about me, like i am his little sister.That's scary, i guess he think i am a stupid young girl.i guess i talk too much. I don't want to hookup with him for one night.I feel in love with him on my first day with him. I never felt like this before.
He is a genius, outgoing, he dated a few girls since i met him. nothing serious. i heard that he was in a five year relationship before!
I always compliment him. maybe too much.maybe He knows that i am flirting with him. I don't know if it's flirting, i feel very secure and comfortable around him, at the same time i get nervous around him for having these thought in my mind, all the time.
This one time, i had to meet him for a coffee to hand him some files. I asked him as a joke "is this a date?". he smiled.
I like my job too. it would be great to have both. :) | i am his assistant for 5 months. He is not interested in dating coworkers. I haven't told him anything. any advice? |
t3_27gokm | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF/ex [24 F] 2 year, Living together, needs a break. | For our own differences about, cleaning around the house, remembering chores without being reminded constantly, how she talks to me when we argue about things little or small, lack of sex because of her own problems (birthcontrol in her arm gives her 2 1/2 week long periods); She wants a break.
Terms of this breakup are:
I move out in 30 days.
She wants me to live close by instead of moving back home 600 miles away.
She would like to stay close friends until she is ready for a relationship with me.
She would think its great for me to come over and take care of the house still (yard work, walk the dog, etc)
She said just because Im moving out doesnt mean its the end of the relationship and there is a definite possibility of us getting back together, she just doesnt know when that could be. A month, a year, or more.
Her view: She wants to live on her own and know she can live on her own...she wants to be happy on her own and feel more like herself.
Mine: We do things she likes all the time, Ive shown her I am willing to step up the chores and explore options for the rest. I told her I dont care that she calls me things when shes mad, thats why its called being mad, etc.
She has her own space without me every day when I go to sleep at 10pm and she stays up til 2-3-4am. I work, she goes to school.
We spend plenty of time apart, but obviously we could do more to never see each other? | GF wants time apart+breakup but hasnt put finality to the situation and hasnt provided any reason why. Should I hold on to hope and live nearby or leave? |
t3_26gqq5 | relationships | My [26 F] boyfriend [27M] of 2 years never gets me off when we have sex | Just as the title says, when my boyfriend and I have sex, I never have an orgasm. However, for him it is just the opposite. Every time we do it, he has an orgasm, usually, within the first two minutes. After we have sex, he just rolls over and goes to sleep, or goes home. This has been going on for over two years now. It used to bother him that he never was able to get me to orgasm through sex alone, but now I feel that he is just used to it, and accepts that this is the way things are. He used to finger me every time after he would come to make sure I was satisfied, but now he does that maybe 1 out of every 6 or 7 times when we have sex. What made me decide to write this post was what happened last night. We had 'sex' if you want to call it that. Really he just rubbed his dick in and out between my legs for two minutes until he came, then he just laid back and watched TV. Of course, I get nothing out of that, so I felt that was a selfish thing to do. I sort of gave him this look like I was disappointed, and then said I was going to go sleep out in the living room, but really I was going to go out there and masturbate. He said he didn't want to kick me out of my own bed (he probably thought I was going to go out there because he snores) and went home.
I don't know how to talk about this to him, because this can be a sensitive subject. In the past he almost wanted to break up because he felt that if I couldn't 'get it' from him, I would from someone else. This wasn't to imply that I would cheat, but that I would eventually leave him for someone who could satisfy me sexually. I wouldn't leave someone just because the sex is bad, but I would leave someone for acting selfish, which is how I feel he is acting when it comes to our sex life nowadays. | My boyfriend does not satisfy me sexually. I feel that he doesn't care about my needs in our sex life anymore, but I am not sure how to discuss it with him. |
t3_3sab8s | legaladvice | I (28M) wish to take my kids to a wedding out of state and my ex (28F) says I cant. | Ok background. New York State
I am recently divorced and have a set 50/50 custody agreement with my ex. We both have joint custody with no residential parent assigned, therefore neither of us has primary custody. There is nothing in our custody agreement restricting taking our kids out of state.
Situation: I am attending my daughters godmother wedding out of state and it falls on a weekend that I have custody of my kids (friday 9am til Monday 9am). Since this will not interfere with her custody time, can she restrict our kids from going with me?
I originally wanted to just switch weekends but she refuse to agree with that and now she says that since I'll be out of town she is going to take the kids for my weekend as well. I countered with I'll take them with me and she flipped out. | my ex refuses to let me take our kids out of state during my custody time and there is nothing in our agreement stating I cant. Does she have any legal grounds? |
t3_53qiri | relationships | Trying to escape abusive relationship. Please give advice. [M/22] [F/21] | My partner (F/21) and I graduated college this year. She has a home (funded by her parents) and I have most of my belongings her house. I do not pay rent there and I did not sign an agreement/lease, but I have been traveling recently and kept my belongings there and stay there when I'm in town.
The relationship has been growing progressively more sour. She is emotionally and verbally abusive. She has also hit me on a few occasions and she has also hurt herself in the past. I was a highschool varsity football player once upon a time, so I am on the larger side, and am not hurt by her fists, but I worry if things escalate to weapons like knives in the kitchen.
I want to get out of this relationship and move my things out. I dare not say anything when out of town as she will trash my belongings. While staying at her place I am worried she will become physically violent. I wish I could call the police and say "hey bring an officer here since she will be getting violent" but that's not how it works.
I see two options:
1. Move out on the weekend while she is at home. Recipe for disaster. Friends can help me move. Them being there might tone down her aggression.
2. Move out on a weekday while she is at work and rush to get it done. Hire some movers to help get it done quickly.
Questions:
1. Out of option 1 and 2 above, what you think is best?
2. If my property is at her place, is she allowed to trash it and not face any consequences? I don't pay rent and don't formally have any stake there.
3. Can I audio or video record the move? Will any of that evidence be permissible in case she hurts me or not since its private property? | All my belongings at violent SO's house. Need to move out but don't want to get hurt or have my property damaged. How can I do it? |
t3_1vrj4v | relationships | Do I [19/M] need closure from my previous relationship from one year ago in order to move on completely? | This girl and I dated back in high school and were together for almost 2 years when she had broken things off during my senior year. Things were kind of rocky at that time, but I wanted to make things work.
Long story short is that she had broken up with me over the phone, but never contacted each other or talked about what caused things to end in person.
Its been over a year since then, but I have had hook-ups, traveled to another country, and even tried dating again to get over this person. However, she still hangs out in the back of my mind.
Do I contact her and talk in person in order to close this door or just keep making attempts to move on? | dated girl in high school of almost two years, broke up over phone, almost no contact since, still lingers in brain to this day, what to do. |
t3_344q0n | tifu | TIFU by breaking girl friends heart..... Badly..... | This happened a couple of hours ago.
*note: I am a teenager but I bet you guys remember how much it hurt to have your first love slip away at this age.
A bit of background: I've been in love with this girl for such a long time. Of course she is my girl friend and everything and we've been happy for awhile now. However a couple of months ago I let a secret slip out to one of her best friends that I was not supposed to tell anyone.
Fast forward to tonight
My girl friend sends a text "how can you betray me like that?" Of course me not knowing the situation try's to make a joke. However it is more serious than I have ever thought. I started off by explaining how I told her best friend secrets that I should've not told. She starts crying heavily and I have to sit there helplessly while she cries.(The worst feeling on earth for a boy friend tbh.)
After that catastrophe I go to talk to the best friend (Keep in mind that I am not mad at the best friend.) Then the best friend starts arguing that she didn't get a birthday present from my girl friend and it means much more than just a present. After we stop arguing about that, I say "Well I guess do what you want, if you want to hurt your best friend then do it."
Thats pretty much sums up this horrible night. Although I try to call my girl friend countless times but she won't pick up. Now that leaves me here on my computer crying slowly, embracing in all the pain, and waiting for a new hope.
Although this isn't funny, this is certainly a really big Fuck up to me. | Told a secret that wasn't to be told, possibly lost 2 people tonight, may be sitting in bed for awhile. |
t3_49otqc | relationships | I [35F] don't watch anime. So my BF[35 M] of 1 year doesn't want me to go to the anime convention with him. | I've watched anime three or four times when he suggested it. The last time the video stopped in the middle and it was late so I told him about that and went to bed.
The next day he brings up anime again and I asked him if it was important to him that I watch anime. He said it was important but that I shouldn't bother because I wasn't interested and kept blowing him off when he suggested it. Then he said we can't go to the anime convention together because he doesn't want to go with someone who won't know what's going on. I told him I like conventions and I want to go with him but he says no. I told him I would go anyway and wave if I saw him but I'd rather go with him.
I've tried to watch anime because he seems to want me to but I'm more into science fiction. At this point I don't feel like watching it anymore. I would watch it with him but I don't feel like watching it by myself. I feel like my boyfriend acts like it's some kind of a dealbreaker though.
I'm trying to figure out how to talk to him some more about it but I don't know if I should. I'm just mad because I like to do stuff together but I don't know if I should just chalk this up as some of his alone time. So I don't want to talk about it anymore if it's just going to be nagging and taking away from his alone time. | Boyfriend doesn't want me to go to the anime convention with him. Should I talk to him about it or should I just accept that I can't go with him? Am I being too clingy or selfish? |
t3_cy2b0 | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I get my cat to stop waking me up at night for more food? | He's not underfed. The vet says that he needs to lose weight to be healthy, but he will meow loudly (above the volume earplugs will shut out) every night about two hours after I go to bed so I'll give him more food. I know it's counterproductive to give into him, but this cat has me beat. I can't afford to spend several sleepless nights in a row just to teach him a lesson; I have to be functional at work as well.
The only other thing that shuts him up is putting his food in a puzzle box, but he figures them out very quickly. I need new puzzle box ideas. He can easily get his food out of a box that is only one inch wide and twelve inches deep, can get it out of compartment toys, and is not challenged by food-dispensing balls at all. | My cat is depriving me of sleep and I need new ideas for puzzle boxes. Also, he gets plenty of attention/playtime during the day, so that's not his issue either. |
t3_30pvgh | relationships | I [22f] feel very anxious & self conscious because of my SO[21m]'s super skinny ex. | So, let me preface by saying my boyfriend and I are madly in love. We've been together 6 wonderful months. He is so supportive and creative and lovely.. It feels like movie stuff, even though we make an effort to stay healthy and real and communicative. I have never trusted anyone more and neither has he. We are have a beautiful romance and a blooming deep friendship and a crazy amazing sex life.
All of the 'problems' we have had have been me projecting my own insecurities... And usually I resolve them. But this time it's a little different.
I am not a small girl. I am 5'7 and 185lbs. I wear it well, I've actually done some plus size modeling, and I know I am beautiful and weight is just a number... now. I used to have an eating disorder which I was hospitalized for, but since have 'recovered' and mostly eat like a regular person. (Although it is a bit harder to lose weight now because of how badly I fucked my metabolism.)
I have learned to love myself for all that I am and my value is not determined solely by my appearance.
So, I know he thinks I'm beautiful and gorgeous and the whole world. He thinks I'm super sexy and loves me very much. I know this.
But just in passing yesterday, he mentioned his Ex, whom he was with for 3 years and who essentially broke his heart until we mended it together. They were in deep, which I understand because I had a similar relationship in the past as well.
Well, turns out that she is 5' and 100lbs, at heaviest he said. All she ingested was coffee and cigarettes essentially.
I haven't been able to function or feel right in his arms since. My confidence has been essentially shattered and I don't feel sexy. I feel disgusting and I can't shake the feeling that I am too... Soft. Too pliable. Too many rolls in too many places. I feel like I am literally a whole extra person than she was.
I almost want to leave the most perfect, healthy & happy relationship I could ever imagine over my own anxiety and body issues. | I'm plus size & I know I'm beautiful but since my loving boyfriend mentioned his ex was 5'0 100lbs, I have been in a state of despair. |
t3_4tb0wm | personalfinance | Looking for advice on what the process of buying a house is like, in particular a condo | Advice on a single-family home or whatever else would be welcome as well. And what expenses you might incur living alone. Open to any other generic advice as well
In my particular situation, I'm a young person (26) interested in a condo. I'm not very handy and don't think any of the typical home maintenance stuff is fun. I like the idea of the price of home maintenance things being absorbed into condo fees. I like living small as well when possible.
Some particulars about my income and savings:
Monthly take home of $3350 ($60800 gross as a data analyst, up from $38k and $48k over 3 years), I figure roughly $800 a month in mortgage payment / condo fees is the right range.
$53000 in savings, not invested (because I want to use this for a down payment) $17000 in IRA retirement savings. I'm blessed with no school debt because of scholarships, and no other debts.
I've been able to save over the last 3 years since I got out of school by living with my parents (the go-to reason nowadays I guess). Pretty much don't pay for anything but gas. My parents were adamant about me saving while I can.
I'm eager to launch my financial independence, but am entirely new to the process of buying a home, and want to avoid any pitfalls / red flags. | $53000 available savings. Looking to buy a condo where I spend roughly $800 a month on mortgage payment / fees. What is the process of doing this like? |
t3_2y6pue | relationships | Yesterday I (17M) agreed to go out with a friend (16F), but I was planning on asking HER friend out (16F). Generic problem really. | Ok, so I recently got to know a girl at my college, and we became pretty close friends. Now, at this time she had a boyfriend (unsure of age. 16-17 most likely), who I hadn't met.
Now, I sorta liked this girl's friend (16), and got to know her quite well too. I was planning on asking this second girl on a date soon, but yesterday afternoon the first girl told me that she liked me and was planning on breaking up with her boyfriend. She asked if I'd be her boyfriend, and I agreed provided her boyfriend didn't take it too badly.
Thing is, I was so close to asking the second girl out, and now I seem to be caught up in a relationship I don't know I want to be in. But I can't turn her down now because I've already said yes. It doesn't help that the girl I'm now dating knows I like(d) her friend, so I can't really end it down the line and ask her friend out, without looking like a jerk.
She (my girlfriend) was pretty clear that she has strong feelings for me, and I know it would hurt if I had turned her down, so I felt compelled to say yes. To be honest, I like this girl a lot, and feel I can be happy with her, but after getting pretty close to this other girl whom I'd had a crush on for a while I just feel... maybe let-down?
As mentioned, fairly generic and bland issue. Not really expecting advice, as it's my 'problem' to deal with. Just wanted to get it off my chest, really. | I liked a girl and found out that her friend likes me, and am now dating this friend, after being possibly days away from asking the girl out. |
t3_2h5tfy | relationships | My SO (M25) tells me (F23) that he can't say ILU unless he's 110% sure. We've been dating almost a year. | SO this morning decides to tell me about romantic past in an effort to explain his hesitance in saying them three words. He does this by text, saying he's terrible at talking about his past and opening up again in person.
I'm generally OK with this, but the longer the conversation goes, the more worried I am that he will never be ready to tell me he loves me. He says the point was for him to be able to open up and be honest to me about his past, so I shouldn't worry about it coz he won't keep me waiting forever, but I'm still pretty crushed. | Am I being unreasonable in thinking that if he can't decide if he loved me after 12 months, he probably doesn't? |
t3_j39cw | relationship_advice | Girlfriend isn't over ex. How should I handle the situation? | This is a throwaway account.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. She has had a rough time with her ex. She was in a 4 year 'relationship' with him where they were together, but not. It's really complicated, but she fell in love with him, and he was with other girls. Eventually she outed him and was alone for 6months when she met me in February 2010.
Fast forward to November, her best friends boyfriend kills himself, and my girlfriends ex gets married. Her best friend calls her all the time crying about the would have, should haves, and now my girlfriend thinks about her ex all the time, probably every day. The other day she really opened up to me about this. There are days where it ruins her whole day, and on those days I was thinking I've done something wrong when I didn't. She just opened up to me, but I can't help but feel like she will never love me like him, and I will never be able to settle with her. It's preemptive thinking, but I don't want to keep getting attached, and then this persisting to be a problem down the road. I want to break up with her, but can't make myself do it. I love her too much. We live together, and I am so used to being with her. What is your advice on how I should continue to handle the situation? Will she ever be able to get over her ex while with me, or should I let her go to give her some space.
P.S. She's 21 I'm 19 | Girlfriend of 1.5years isn't over ex. Openly told me, and I am unsure of how to handle the situation. |
t3_2t2cdm | relationships | Should I (F20) throw out my exboyfriend's (M20) old love letters and cards? | My ex-boyfriend and I broke up around 6 months ago after dating for 3 years. I have moved on and am in a committed relationship with someone else, and am very happy.
I have gotten rid of most of my exboyfriend's gifts. I don't wear the jewelry he got me, I gave away his old shirts that were to small for him, and I've long since donated the teddy bears he bought me.
However, I can't part with the cards and notes he wrote me during our time together. They remind me of the happier times in our relationship. I've only looked at them once since we broke up, and they made me more happy than sad. Is it okay that I keep these, even when I've moved on? I think it's okay to have little mementos from past relationships, to a point at least. My current boyfriend doesn't know I still have these cards, and I don't know if me having them still would upset him.
If I'm in the wrong, please tell me! He was my first serious relationship and I'm still new at the breakup thing. | Is it okay that I still have cards and love notes from my exboyfriend? I want to remember the good times, but would it be more acceptable to throw them out? |
t3_12rhhu | relationship_advice | [23/f] fwb somehow got complicated, stopped it, it got complicated again [22/m] | had a fwb, no strings attached situation, kept in secret as there was no reason for anyone else to know, ended up having stolen kisses and those 'look's from across a room full of people so we decided to stop the fwb thing as we're actually good friends and didn't wanna fuck stuff up. it was fine for about a week, just hung out as friends and it was great, felt like we'd jus stepped back in time as if nothing happened. but now there's so much tension between us sometimes, and those looks are happening again, ordinarily this would be a situation to give it a try i guess. but we've spoken so many times that we don't want to get into a relationship [both out of long term relationships quite recently] and it feels like it has to be all or nothing, but the signs are so hard to read and i think i'm ready to be with someone else now but i have no idea how to bring this up, or if i even should at all? no clue how he's feeling, very closed book. | fwb was great, got weird (emotions got involved) stopped it, was fine, now it's weird again (emotions returning?) |
t3_mjwki | AskReddit | Reddit my doctor is deliberately misinforming young women about their means of accessing an abortion in my province, what can I do? | I have evidence of a local doctor deliberately providing pregnant girls with misinformation regarding their access to abortion and how to obtain one in my province (he has told several girls to self-refer when this is not allowed, you must be referred by a physician as abortions are currently only provided at our hospital, there are no private clinics here.) This leaves women scrambling to find a doctor during a time sensitive and emotional situation. I also have evidence of him falsely advising patients that he's made referals to mental health professionals when he has not and he simply allows those people to suffer with their problems. I believe I can also prove that he treats those same women unfairly and without the same standard of care he provides other patients should they return to his practice after seeking another doctor's assistance obtaining their abortion.
My question is simply what is the best course of action to ensure he can't continue doing this to women in the future? | Local Doctor is misdirecting women seeking abortions, withholding mental health access and potentially mistreating women who choose to abort. |
t3_2s3q7y | weddingplanning | Bridesmaid dress dilemma with future SIL...please help | So, first I'd like to give some background on the situation. I originally planned on having two bridesmaids and my best friend as my MOH. Then my fiance's sister was going through some personal problems and seemed like she needed some good news/to feel included. While I definitely get along with her, we are not particularly close, but I had no issue including her in the wedding party when my fiance and future MIL suggested it.
Yesterday, I found my wedding gown (YAY!) and of course my bridesmaids came along for the appointment. After finding my dress and being filled with the excitement that comes with that, my future SIL mentioned that she had a purple dress (strapless, floor length) that she wanted to wear as her bridesmaid dress. At the time, I was so happy I probably would have agreed to anything, and it made some sense as the dresses I am wanting are varying shades of dark purple (it's a fall wedding--think about the color of cranberries and imagine it being ombre)
However, after looking at some pictures of her dress it seems too shiny and bright, almost a blue color. I know she is struggling for money at the moment, but the wedding isn't until October 3rd. My question is this: is it rude to tell her I change my mind? That I was swept up in the moment of finding my dress and on a second look it won't work? I definitely don't want to be a bossy "bridezilla" but I'm worried she won't match my other bridesmaids. What is a polite way to approach this? | While trying on my wedding dress, my bridesmaid mentions she has a dress that may work for the wedding. On a second glance, it doesn't. How do I approach this politely? |
t3_2x592f | relationships | My [23 F] Fiance cheated on me [24 M] after being together for 5 years. | I have been with my fiance for 5 years and we got engaged in September. Over the winter holiday she went home with her family, and slept with her cousin (by marriage) 2 nights in a row.
She was acting weird when I came back in town but she blamed her hormones so I dropped it. A couple weeks later the guilt got to her and she told me what happened.
After taking some time apart we have slowly started trying to work things out. But the pain is still so real to me and I don't know if I will ever be able to trust her again. Also my perception of her and my expectations for our relationship have changed alot. I am not sure if the relationship can ever get back to how wonderful it used to be.
I know how badly this has destroyed her she has been a wreck since it happened and I know she wouldnt do it again, but there is still that voice in my head..
We were originally going to move out of the country together when our lease ends in June. That plan seems off the table right now, and I am in the midst of transitioning my job and can still move out of the country, but not sure if moving to that country without her will make me an emotional wreck while over there. | Fiance slept with her cousin, and we have been trying to work on it since January. Not sure what to do with my life and this relationship. |
t3_2mnc7n | Advice | University student: Should I go home for Thanksgiving break? I would have to charge the flight to my credit card. | Hello, first off thanks for reading.
I'm currently an undergraduate student going to university 1,000+ miles from home. I only get to visit home once a year (usually)-- for Christmas break because I have a friend who drives and we split gas money. I'm trying to decide if I should go home for Thanksgiving break this year. I found a flight that would give me a 5 day visit for $380 roundtrip. I also have $140 in rewards points from my credit card that I can use towards the trip, making it around $240 total. I don't currently have this money but I could charge it to my credit card. I have other major expenses coming up and am somewhat approaching the limit on my credit card.
Reasons to say yes: I need a real break from the stress of university life. My parents recently got divorced and I know my dad is struggling and would kill to see me. I get sad spending the holidays alone since all of my friends go home. $240 is not that much when I consider spending in other areas. I didn't realize I could put my rewards points toward airfare so that savings makes me want to use it. I could surprise my family and make them so happy. I wouldn't have to miss any class days as I originally thought.
Reasons to say no: I'll be going home in December for winter break. Accruing more credit card debt as a student with significant loans seems foolish. If I approach my credit card limit, I might not have the ability to pay for emergencies in the future. Traveling is stressful and I'd be flying on Thanksgiving day. My boyfriend who is here at university with me (and is also from my hometown) would be forced to spend the holidays alone.
What do y'all think the right decision is? I'm afraid I'm too impulsive and I would like to make a wise, informed decision. Thanks in advance for any input! | Found a cheap flight home for Thanksgiving break but finances are tight and I'd have to charge it to my credit card, may be worth it for less practical reasons, what do I do? |
t3_4umpsd | relationships | Me [27 M] with my friends and family, I'm considering up and leaving next week, cutting all ties to start over | So this is a tricky situation, and I need some advice to see if this is going too far. Apologize for the wall of text if you read it all.
I've struggled with depression and anxiety for awhile now, and I started going to therapy about 7 months ago to work on it. I've made big strides, but I keep slipping into old habits now again and I think it's because of my friends and family.
Its not that they're bad people, they're pretty great and well liked by most, its just that I'm always a low priority and I feel used sometimes. They'll ignore me or my needs (unless I'm in a crisis which is rare) and I'll always try to accommodate theirs. While I'm no longer a doormat like I used to be I still feel on the outside looking in alot of the time, like I don't quite fit in, and honestly it hurts.
The last time I was truly happy, confident and excited about life was when I was overseas for a year and barely talked to them. When I came back they were all very excited to see me but that lasted all of a couple minutes before old habits set in.
I've thought about just leaving to go overseas next week and not telling anyone (except my therapist). I already have some worked lined up if I need it from when I was there previously, and I don't have alot of stuff so it'd be easy to move. I'm torn because I still care about them, and while they probably wouldn't even notice for a couple weeks when they do they'll be upset and try to reach out to me, especially because they probably don't even think the way they treat me is a big deal.
Am I crazy for thinking this? is this going too far? | Dont really fit in with friends or family, thinking of just starting over somewhere new and cutting them out completely because they might be toxic for me. |
t3_3h2i37 | relationships | Me [21M] and my ldr gf [20F], my mother is getting between us | So, my ldr gf, whom I met online (yes, I know, it's weird and all for most) and I have been together for a 6 months now.
And she has one substantial flaw, and that is, that the she was a cocaine addict a year ago.
And when I first told my parents about it, I slipped and told her about it. Right now she's fine, and I'm fine with her as well.
The thing is, I live with my parents, and they're paying my college tuition. And my mother is depressed because "I can do better", "I should find a real girlfriend", "I'm destroying the family".
And she always makes me feel guilty about it, and comes screaming at me about how much they've sacrificed so that I can do better. And well, it's a pretty rough spot to be in.
She has closed herself to hating my girlfriend. And she's my mother, but I'm really having a bad time with her being depressed and making me feel guilty. And I really want it to stop, but I can't leave home at the moment (college is stupidly expensive at my country) and I won't leave my girlfriend by any means.
I love her and care for her deeply, and I know how important I am to her and she to me.
What should I do? Because I'm gonna keep going, and the only reason we haven't met yet, were because of really shitty circumstances that were unavoidable.
Should I just stand my ground with my mother and make her suffer until she finally realizes that this is not her decision anymore? I'm real need of help here guys, please. | Mother is depressed because of my choice for a girlfriend and making me feel guilty about it, should I just stand my ground? |
t3_1sujyf | tifu | TIFU by sending a dirty text to my professor during class | My professor is an old family friend, so I knew him before this class and had his number from a few years back. My boyfriend happens to have the same name as him. He got a new number today, and before I had it saved as "(his name) <3", so there was never any ambiguity. But, as I obviously don't text or call my professor, I had forgotten I even had his number, so I saved my bfs new number as "(his name)".
Prior to class, I was with my boyfriend, so I hadn't texted him in hours while I had been texting other people, so our convo thread was close to the bottom of all my texts and lazy me just started a new text instead of going down. Basically, the text went something along the lines of "I can't wait to get done with this stupid class and get back into bed with you;)" and without thinking, I sent it immediately to his name. Except, it wasn't him.
My professors phone went off shortly after I sent it, and he said "Sorry - My sister is having a baby, I need to check this". Alright, cool, but after he read it he got this really "OMFGWTF" look on his face and stammered that everyone should do some problem in the book. It was weird, but he recovered. After class, he asked me to stay a second, and we ended up fucking.
Just kidding, he told me to delete his number immediately as he could potentially get fired and I get in disciplinary trouble if anyone saw this, accident or not. :( | If you're going to send an 'I cant wait to get back in bed with you' text to your SO, make damn sure it isn't a close family friend & sending it could potentially ruin his/her career |
t3_i7omu | self | Mom's husband died three weeks ago, just found out she's been fucking his son for 2 months. | That's pretty much it. Her husband was an older guy, 68 when he died I think (she's 47). He died after a 4-year battle with [amyloidosis] He'd spent the last 17 months of his life doing dialysis at home three times a week (mom's a dialysis nurse, just had to get approval to get equipment at home). Last few months he ended up in the hospital multiple times for various reasons, usually heart or lung related, until the last time he finally decided to give it up. He asked to be sent home and put on hospice care and he died asleep in his own bed that night.
For the last month or so of his life, his son moved in. We'll call him Bryan (not his real name). He's the same age as Mom. He said he moved there to help take care of his dad while my mom worked insane hours to pay for step-dad's medication.
So, anyway, skip to today, three weeks after step-dad died. His other son emailed me to say, essentially, "Hey, thought you should know your mom and Bryan have been banging since mid-April when he moved in there." (I should say, Bryan moved out about a week after step-dad died, lives 3 hours away, but has been weirdly in town very frequently since then.)
Mind=blown. I asked Mom about it and she said it's true. None of my three siblings know. All of Bryan's siblings know. Now I don't really know what to do with that information. On one hand, it doesn't exactly help anyone to know that. I feel sick just thinking about it, and sort of wish I'd never found out. On the other hand, this Days of Our Lives-esque behavior deserves to be called out, just on basic principle. But my ma's also crazy in a big big way, and this could turn into yet another major family fallout.
Fuck--and I mean this in the cruelest way possible, like with a chainsaw or a cattle prod--fuck absolutely everything about this. | Mom's fucking her dead husband's son three weeks after husband died and has been doing so since about a month before said husband died. |
t3_2ty5p5 | relationships | Is something deeper going on between my gf[18f] and I [18m] | My gf and I have a year together and for the most part, we have a very wonderful and special relationship. I fell in love with my girlfriend very quickly(I guess you could call it puppy love) but the emotion came to me so naturally that I didn't think anything was wrong with it and I let it happen. I have no regrets.
We spent a couple of months before our first argument, which really wasn't anything except a small back-and-forth over where we would go to eat.
However after about 7 or so months, and seemingly from nowhere, we began to aggressively bicker over what we would both agree are stupid things to get upset over. Since then, every 4 or so weeks we'll spend a few days doing this until we resolve whatever and everything is good for another 30ish days.
These 'arguments' are never personal and we have never exchanged things that cannot be taken back, but I worry that maybe something more complex is at play.
We can't seem to help ourselves here. At first, I blamed myself because I am the one to get argumentative over trivial things because that has always been me. However, sometimes she is the one who will take something too personally and initiate a little argument. I'm not innocent , I keep the ball rolling too when I shouldn't but after at most 15 minutes we stop and make up.
After our little bout everything will be fine until the cycle repeats ( its strange and unsettling because situations that could initiate an argument within the bouts are almost instantly mediated, or even unnoticed when we're not in bouts
I'm scared that this cycle will keep going. I am frustrated and upset because I love her to death and I know she does to. I want to do my best to keep out relationship strong and healthy and I'm worried that this is a manifestation of something more complex with her/me/us.
Thanks for reading :) | Gf and I get along great except for a few days out of every month or so. Scared something deeper is causing issues. |
t3_tznp3 | AskReddit | Where can I go in Washington, D.C. to get medical care if I'm uninsured? | First, I apologize for this being an exceedingly specific question. I'm in a bit of a jam and I really have no idea where to start. Quick rundown of the situation: my father is active duty military, so I've had free health coverage under his plan for as long as I can remember, and through college. I just graduated last week, and in calling to set up an appointment (now that I finally have the time), I found out that I was disenrolled effective the date of my graduation.
Oops.
To make matters worse, I kind of sort of need to get an appointment ASAP because my right eye has been sloooowly sinking into my socket for the past 2 months (I was mugged a few years ago and suffered a blowout fracture) and is now at the, "I can't ignore this anymore," point. (I also kind of need to get a routine check-up, but that's beside the point.) | Are there any fellow Washingtonians who've navigated the health care system here while uninsured? How'd you do it? |
t3_3w9f86 | relationships | I [22M] feel like the break my gf [23f] put in action is going to end up breaking us. | Earlier this week my girlfriend [23F] of 11 months decided that perhaps we should take a break till christmas due to the strain the depression my mothers death [72f] thrust upon me.
Now i admit i have been acting rather negatively little comments i normally would never say, being annoyed with things i normally would have just let slide. Of course after everything i realize my stupidity and apologize but whats done is done.
She says that because of this my emotions have made her too a miserable person and that we should take a break until christmas is over so that she can spend time with her family reconnecting to who she was.
The only problem is that i am getting increasingly depressed now, i feel like im losing the person i love because of the loss of my mother and spending christmas without either is about the worst thing that could have happened. Am i over reacting. | Girlfriend of 11 months wants to take a break on what may be the hardest christmas of my life, worried about this breaking us |
t3_4gyxy4 | relationship_advice | [18/M] My girlfriend [19/F] tells me she needs emotional distance but is unclear. | I have been with a girl for nearly 2 years now, and in the past few days things have gone off the rails. She broke up with me the other night saying she still loves me and wants me to be around her all the time still and that she isn't interested in dating other guys. She was literally offering to make plans at the end of June with me the day before. We had a little squabble over me just getting snippy (which wasn't rare or frequent with either of us), she called me to apologize while I was sleeping and I didn't acknowledge it. Now she says nothing about me has changed but somehow overnight her romantic interest is gone. I can normally read her like a book and it was different. Based on our entire relationship so far (which has been mutually platonic for the last year) I don't believe this is the case. The next day she back tracks over what she's said and explains that she wants emotional distance. She has not offered to give explanation for why she feels the way she does, but says we will re-visit our relationship when we've been apart for a while. We are seeing a movie sometime soon as well. My mind can't stop racing about what it could be that cause this and it is getting really destructive. I have developed a lack of appetite, reduced ability to sleep, and frequent anxiety attacks. If I bother her about our relationship (or lack thereof) I might ruin it all right then and there and push her away. We have so much emotionally invested in each other and have made it through some events that I never could have imagined. What we had was strong. I guess I just need help making it through this time and all the uncertainty. I have what I feel is a strong theory of what is wrong but the unknown is killing me in the meantime. How do I stay optimistic that things will work out without having an expectation? | My girlfriend described wanting a break to me but called it a breakup out of the blue, unprovoked. What do? |
t3_1ilw2e | relationships | How do I [20F] stop my self feelings of inadequacy from ruining new relationship with [19M]? | We've been dating for two months, exclusive for one.
We met at work, as lifeguards. My problem is that I have very bad days regarding my self image stemming from my 50lb weight loss and an eating disordered mother who says all the wrong things. I know physically I'm not fat, but I'm not as skinny as everyone else and being in a bathing suit all day makes me hyper sensitive to my body not being perfect. I could lose 15 more pounds and be comfortable in a bikini and I'm trying, but I can't help but feeling I'm not good enough.
He's very attractive and fit. Many of my coworkers (before we go together) would swoon over him, and its true. He's a great person as well, helpful, kind and humble.
He knows I feel insecure and he tries his best to help me stop feeling that way and he does help, but I'm afraid one day it just will become too much for him to deal with. I don't vent outright to him, but he notices I'm bummed and eventually gets it out of me.
I'm in therapy, I have been for years, but I still don't feel good enough. I really like my boyfriend and he really likes me, but I want to get to a point where I'm secure enough in myself to stop feeling that way around him. And I worry my self-hatred will make him leave.
Any advice from anyone who has been through this before? | new relationship with a very attractive guy, mutual feelings there, but my self-hatred from weight loss and a non helpful mother makes me feel less than good enough for him, don't want to fuck this up. |
t3_2t5qwt | relationships | What Can I do to cheer her up? | I [20m] am not a romantic guy by a long shot. I already knew this, but when my SO [20f] of 2 years told me that I'm not very romantic, it was... different. When we were first dating, I had quite a bit more money than I do now, so it was easier. Her birthday comes up, I go to the family jewelry store and get something nice and that's the end of it.
Now, we're broke. We have an empty fridge are very hungry. It takes a long time to get used to that. I can't really take her to a fancy restaurant. I mean, I maybe could, but not much more. Not without stressing about upcoming bills the whole time.
Now this might be because I'm at like a [7] and my minds all crazy, but I really want to be able to do something for her. Something romantic. Problem is, I also lack creativity pretty bad.
She is stressing really bad about her college classes and her job. Plus, she trying to quit smoking. She also is constantly arguing with her dad who lives maybe 50 feet away from our place.
I bought her flowers once. I gave them to her when she was visiting her mom. She ended up forgetting the flowers and the vase at her mom's house. Still there actually. That's really my only attempt at being romantic. Unless you count drunkenly singing songs to her about a year ago...
I just want to be able to do more for her. I want to be able to be the provider! My hours at work got cut pretty bad recently. Happens a lot this time of year in retail, so money is tight. | My girlfriend of 2 years is stressed. Says she likes romance, also says I have pretty much none. How do I be more romantic and cheer her up? |
t3_4g7ir1 | tifu | TIFU by using a powered screw driver while not completely awake. | (On mobile. Apologize for format issues in advance)
So today I woke up from a two hour nap that was supposed to be thirty minutes. I decided it was time to get to work on transferring my desktop into the new case I had picked up today. Things were going normally and I had pulled everything out and put the empty mother board and power supply into the new case. Plugged in all the front I/O and was putting in the cooler.
At this point I'm still sorta running on auto pilot and start putting in the liquid cooler.
Ya. That's a good idea right now.
I put in some abnormally long screws to attach the water cooler and realize that was the wrong size for them to go in after they are about 3/4 of the way in. They were supposed to attach a fan to the cooler. A few minutes later when I'm putting in my video card I realize that my cooler is leaking EVERYWHERE.
I take out the liquid cooler and realize my mistake and kinda just look down at the liquid all over my mother board. Shit.
Didn't realize the screws were abnormally hard to screw in and were going into the liquid cooled mesh because I was still sleepy and using a powered screw driver. | I fucked up by using in the wrong screws and a powered screwdriver to attach my liquid cooler which resulted in liquid coolant all over my desktop. |
t3_hkc0f | AskReddit | My mom just found out she has breast cancer, she's going in for surgery tomorrow, I want to do something nice for her but I can't think of what. Any ideas? | As the title says, my mom just found out she has breast cancer. About 20 years ago her sister died from breast cancer. My mom is one of those "tough girls" that doesn't usually go for sappy stuff and generally *says* she wants to be left alone. She's pretty calm about the whole thing but I know she's scared.
Her and my dad always tell me they "don't want me to do anything for them" and to "save my money" or whatever. (I'm not poor, at all) But I want to do something for my mom that reminds her just how much I love her. That sort of thing isn't spoken aloud very often around my folks' house, gestures are often more effective.
So, what should I do for my mom? Any ideas?
Also, there's my dad. He's a very big man that is *glued* to my mom's hip... or maybe it's the other way around. Anyhow, they're inseparable. I know he's scared. Hearing fear in the big guy's voice is heartbreaking. His whole world will be on a table tomorrow with the outcome of "what's next" up in the air. I'd like to do something nice for him too. Any ideas about that? | My mom and dad are scared about her breast cancer, she's getting a lumpectomy and a few other procedures done tomorrow and I want to do something nice for them, but I live far away. |
t3_388687 | relationships | Do I (23F) go back to work tomorrow or do I wait on what my GP says? | I really love this sub and I might need some advice. I have had great advice on an earlier problem, and want to ask it now.
To start with: my job is not in jeopardy. I live in a country with pretty neat laws so I cannot be fired for either option.
For the past few months my job has been very stressful. Several things (you can pm me if you need specifics) happened in succession, and although I asked for help and gave a signal that I was struggling with these things, not much happened. These were all extraordinary things, that are not normally part of the job. So it's been tough, but somehow it has gotten to a point where I cry myself to sleep, because I get panic attacks even thinking of going to work.
I just can't seem to get my ducks in a row and the more I try the less I seem to be able to do, it feels like that dream where you try to run but nothing happens.
So anyway, I figured I had a problem, so I called my GP and asked for an appointment. I have taken off yesterday and today since I felt like it was becoming ridiculous. I do feel a little better today, but I am not sure if I will still feel that way tonight.
Either way, I am not sure whether I should go to work tomorrow and work the first few hours, or just call in sick and wait for what my doctor says. I do plan on speaking with my boss tomorrow, so I am not sure if it will seem weird if I show up when I am "sick".
My question: what would you guys do? Also, if you have any advice that could help me manage this stress/panic thing that would be appreciated. Thanks a lot :) | Can't sleep/think of work without feeling dread/anxiety. Do I go in tomorrow or wait until my appointment with the GP (also tomorrow)? |
t3_52t32s | relationships | [24M] How to handle SO [23F] sending pictures to another guy? | We've been together coming up on 5 years. We have a little girl together who's nearly 1, and we've just moved into a new appartment.
I got a random message the other day from a girl saying she's seen naked pictures of my SO on her boyfriends phone, her boyfriend being a close friend from work. Ive seen on her pictures, not a naked photo but a very seductive photo that I'm fairly sure she hasn't sent me.
I love her with all my heart and i really want my daughter to have a full family so i don't want to break up with her, but I'm not sure how to handle this. Do i just pretend it never happened?
Do i mention something? though i am not 100% sure I'm right.
Where do i go from here? | Med-High possibility of SO sending seductive photos to another guy. I want to remain a family, not sure how to proceed. |
t3_3mx5i1 | tifu | TIFU by not wearing my glasses | At a college party, pretty hammered at this point in the night (around 2am). My one friend (girl we will call A) whom i took to the party wants to leave and go back since she has work in the morning (mind you I'm a dude and have a GF).. I begin walking her back and take off my glasses since my eyes were becoming weary. Get back to her place and proceed inside, since she's tired she hops in bed ready for sleep and I say my goodnight and leave.. Arrive back at my place get in bed remind you still no glasses.. grab my phone to text my gf goodnight and send "just fucked A in bed..night".. unknowingly meaning to put tucked obviously and put my phone down and went to bed. Next morning woke up with 5 missed calls. multiple texts and a FaceTime... Safe to say i should always keep my glasses on when sending texts... | Didn't wear my glasses when sending text.. Sent fuck instead of tuck.. GF mad and didn't go over to well. |
t3_x6glb | AskReddit | A friend of my ex is telling people I abused her. I didn't. Is there anything I can do to make this stop? It's ruining my life. | Background: My ex-girlfriend and I dated for eight months and broke up two months ago. We were very passionate and physical and sometimes altercations got physical. She hit and I hit, but never hard. Honestly, we both enjoyed when a fight would turn into a wrestling match. Lots of times it would turn into a "wrestling" match, if you know what I mean. It was just something that happened and we never thought twice about it.
Now, we had a mutual friend, a girl, who had been abused heavily in a previous relationship. She picked up my phone, read my messages, and saw a message about one of the previously mentioned altercations. Being a victim of abuse, she was understandably concerned even though we both reassured her it was nothing. Things were fine for a while until she told my ex's other best friend (a male who I didn't get along with) that I had hit her. The ex tried to explain, but he still hated me. Big deal, what else is new? Well, fast forward, things aren't working out with the girl and we parted ways. Eventually, the mutual friend becomes only the ex's friend and ends up bringing it up in the company of the ex and the girl's boyfriend. The boyfriend goes into a rant about my ex not letting herself be hit and even though she insists she wasn't abused, they won't listen to her because they think she was brainwashed. Now, she's apparently been telling everyone she knows that I'm a girlfriend beating asshole and I've started to lose all the friends that I had that are within her circle.
Isn't this defamation of character? | Ex-girlfriend's friend is telling all our friends that I abused her. I didn't. Is there anything I can do? Legal action? |
t3_2lijkw | askwomenadvice | Whats the right approach for a shy, cute, semi-nerdy girl? (directed specifically to shy, nerdy girls) | There is a girl who who works in the administration office in my college (shes student there too). While waiting in the office the other day, i talked to her for a few mins and felt like we hit it off). And want to ask her for her number or out with me, but the office is always silent, yet crowded with people, and she's always doing something. I dont have the confidence to ask her in case i get rejected in front of a crowd. Would giving her a note with my name and number and small comment saying "id love to get to know you better" be accepted as ok? Surely she remembers me from the other day. Any other advice you ladies have to give is welcome. Thanks. | is it ok to give a note to a girl you just met with your name and number on it? (btw, im just an average looking guy if this plays a big role in the outcome) |
t3_2rs0ts | relationships | How do I [24 F] move on after admitting feelings to [24 M] friend who doesn't feel the same? | Three nights ago, I admitted to my close friend of 2 years (acquaintances for longer) that I have feelings for him. He told me yesterday that he doesn't feel the same. I'm glad he was honest with me, and wasn't a jerk about it, but I'm pretty devastated and I haven't talked to him since.
I'm trying not to obsess over why he doesn't like me back, because this was a HUGE blow to my self-esteem. I wanted to be prepared for either answer, but to be honest I always sort of thought he might have had feelings for me, too. Now I'm embarrassed that I was so wrong, and I'm afraid that I sabotaged the friendship. Is there a way of coming back from this? | How do I move forward after telling my friend I have feelings for him, when he doesn't feel the same? Is there any chance of remaining friends? |
t3_33fd2d | legaladvice | (WA) Small Claims Question | Hi there,
So back at the beginning of February, I had a friend that needed a loan of $500 to get a car that he needed (this is all in texts that I have). We agreed on him either paying me the full amount of $500 at the beginning of March or doing two payments of $250 that is to be paid within the month of March.
Here's April and he has made no attempt at contacting me. I have left messages on his phone since the beginning of march and texts as well about every two weeks. So I need to take him to small claims court. The only problem is that I don't know where he lives; however, I do know where he works and even what his shifts are. So my question is can I still file for small claims with his work address or do I have to absolutely have his living address? Please help!
For the record, I have tried instant checkmate and it only had his old address of living from when we were kids. | Can I still file a small claims if I don't have his living address but know where he works and the hours he works? |
t3_nrpu6 | dating_advice | Can't stop having feelings for this guy while I know I probably shouldn't.. What to do, Reddit? | 20 year old female here. I've been friends with this guy (18 yo) for about a year now, and a couple of months ago I started to feel more than friendship. After some time I started to think that maybe he felt the same for me, but I wasn't sure.
Then, on a night some weeks ago, we kissed. We spent the whole night making out, lying in each other's arms. For the record, both of us hadn't drunk at all that night. We were both stone cold sober. In the morning, out of the blue, he told me that it had been a mistake and that we should never EVER do it again. He said I was the coolest girl he knew, but that he was not capable of being in a relationship at the moment and that he didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. I told him it was fine and he shouldn't worry about it, and then left. Hurt like a bitch. After that I kept seeing him every week, as friends of course. I still felt the same way, but he didn't need to know that, right?
However, he's acting weird lately. He says stuff about us doing sexual things and acts pretty jealous when I'm talking or even standing close to other guys. Also, I found out that he's been checking what I've been putting on my main Reddit account (yes, this one is obviously a throwaway).
Now I've met this other guy. We share some interests, get along great and he seems really interested in me. But every time I think about him and ask myself if I like him, the first guy pops back in my mind again and seems to fill up every bit of space in my head.
What should I do? I have tried to forget about guy no. 1, but it's as if something is telling me that I should hold on to him. On the other hand, I ask myself what use there would be in that. What do you guys think? | Have feelings for some guy while I know I probably shouldn't, while some other (nice) guy seems really interested but also makes me realize that I'm not even close to getting over the first guy. What to do? |
t3_3ver9e | relationships | I (21F) am preoccupied with my boyfriend's (21M) unintentional weight loss | To start things off, we've been together 3 years and go to college together. We moved in together this semester, and have a few other roommates.
When I met my boyfriend, he was 5'9, 120 pounds. A beanpole, extremely skinny looking. Over the next 2.5 years he put on about 30 pounds eating unhealthy dining hall food. Not the best way to gain weight, but he looked a lot better afterwards, much more healthy looking. We were the same weight at this point (yes, I'm overweight. I'm working on it, I'm on a 1200 calorie diet, and I'm trying not to let my fatness cloud judgement here).
Now that we live off campus, we don't eat at the dining hall anymore. I do the cooking. I cook pretty healthy food, mostly vegetarian because of cost/preference. He loves my food and eats whatever I make. But he's lost so much weight, it's very visible. In the last four months he's lost at least 10-15 pounds. I give him much larger portions than I eat, bring him regular meals and all that stuff, but he just keeps getting skinnier.
It's not that I'm less attracted to him, I just feel like a bad girlfriend because I can't keep him well-fed. I show my love through food. I'm a very demonstrative, touchy person and he is less so, but food is a demonstration I give that never gets turned down. So I pride myself on being a good cook.
How do I get over this? There are some things that still lead to friction between us, like the fact that he doesn't eat breakfast, or that before a big exam or project he won't eat at all because it makes him nervous. I know I should just let him live his own life, but I really want to pamper and mother him with food and it worries me that he keeps losing weight. | My boyfriend has lost 10-15 pounds unintentionally over the past few months and I feel like a bad girlfriend for not feeding him enough. |
t3_1itqma | relationships | I [19F] am trying to move on [17M]. | I really liked him, at one point even loved him, but it really wasn't working out between us. The problem is, when we ended things he said he still liked me. Also, we have been on and off before. So it's difficult to move on because I have this spark of hope that we might get together again. Finally, I didn't end things the way I wanted to. There was so much I wanted to say to him and held back so I have a lot of regret and retained feelings for him, yet I'm too proud to tell him. How do I move on? | He still likes me. Hoping we get back together. Still have a lot of feelings for him. How do I move on? |
t3_1dbccp | relationship_advice | My boyfriend (23/M) and I (21/F) argue over race in a really backwards way, and we broke up because of it. | About a month ago my boyfriend, who is half black/half white, accused me of having racist tendencies (i.e. using the word "boy" too often when talking to the dog, holding the opinion that the "n word" shouldn't be used by ANYONE, regardless of their skin color, etc.) and although he didn't accuse me of being an actual racist, it really hurt my feelings.
I feel like he is struggling with two sides of himself, and that the result of this is an unspoken, unrecognized hatred of the "white man", a phrase which is feels comfortable using around me.
We argued over whether or not I'm being racist and whether or not he was in the right for accusing me for a couple weeks until I eventually broke it off. I ended things on a whim, and I'm not sure fixing things is possible after the things we said to each other.
I guess what I'd like to figure out is if the guilt I'm feeling is ridiculous or if I really should feel bad for everything. | Called the dog "boy", half black boyfriend accused me of having racist tendencies, I'd like to know if I should apologize or stand my ground. |
t3_2uget7 | relationships | I (m/20) was dumped by girlfriend (f/19) because of my depression | We are both going to the same college and met because both of our best friends are dating each other. We were instantly great friends and just got more and more close as time went on. We were only really dating for about 6 months which is too long I know but thats not the problem.
This semester she took a new job and had a harder class schedule leading her to get stressed. She has been helping me through my depression issues I have been dealing with for many years of my life along with my friends and family. Yesterday though she finally broke down and told me she was to stressed and said she couldn't do it anymore, she still cares about me and doesn't want to leave me but it got to serious to quick for her. This has been one of the nicest break ups i have ever been through since it ended with her having troubles leaving and knowing we will still be good friends.
The main problem is though that this is not the first time I have been dumped for being depressed. It is getting better every year but is still hard to control and I don't know how to approach my next relationship or maybe even continue the one I just lost so that my depression won't become a problem and push people out of my life. She was amazing to me and is a very nice person she just couldn't handle it anymore and feels like a terrible person for breaking up with me for that reason. | Girlfriend broke up with me because of depression, not first one to do so. How to prevent it from happening in future relationships? |
t3_2hbpf6 | personalfinance | 'Partnering' with an LLC. How to get paid? | I'll just try and explain the situation as best I can as some of my terminology may be wrong.
After graduating in May of '12 I proceeded to work full time. My father had always had passive income in rental properties in addition to also working full time. He had created a single member LLC for himself years ago and manages several properties under that. In September of 2012 instead of paying for portion of my student loans my parents put in $25,000 into a rental property we bought, rehabbed, and now rent on my behalf. I've also been saving about $1000/mo since then to put 50% towards a couple other properties. For example if we bought a home for $80,000 we would split the 20% downpayment and closing costs equally so we each get a 50% stake. These homes are all in the LLC's name and the tenants write checks to the LLC. I am not a member in the LLC though so I'm not sure how to go about getting paid for about 1-2 years of rental income that hasn't been distributed. I'm not too sore over not being paid yet as I know the first year of owning the properties probably ran a negative with any upgrades/repairs we incurred, but eventually when everything is in the black I would like monthly or quarterly distributions made to me, especially now since I've moved out and have my own mortgage and expenses to pay for. | I'm investing in real estate with an LLC that I am *not* a member of. How would I go about collecting distributions? Would I be considered a private contractor and use form 1099 or are there other options? |
t3_3i3u9d | personalfinance | Parents' divorce yields new challenges. To sell or not to sell? | Hi /r/personalfinance,
I graduated this past May and found a job. Unfortunately my parents are divorcing and they are dividing up furniture and the like. Among things listed as "furniture" is my high-end piano that my parents got for me in high school. Since my parents are splitting, it is my responsibility to sell it or find someplace to put it.
The original price of the piano was about 29-32k but the salesman was going out of business so he sold it to us for 19k. Years later, that piano would get me scholarships to college and several cool gigs in school.
I don't know if the storage facility (my dad offered to pay for a facility for a few months) has humidity control. Without that, the inner cloth of the piano would get damaged and cost me a lot to repair/replace. Needless to say, I'm not in a position to afford the storage by myself.
To make matters more difficult, my parents are supposed to leave the house they were renting (where the piano is) by the end of the month. They only recently told me that they were leaving the house and I've only recently been able to post it online to try and sell it. At this point it seems highly unrealistic that I could sell the piano by the end of the month, let alone for what it is worth.
I need a better plan of attack with this. The piano has to go but I'd like to get what I was told it was worth by the piano salesman (different guy than the one a few years back) with whom I consulted a few weeks ago (he told me take no less than $15,000 for it).
Is it better to just to sell it for cheap just to be rid of it? Would it be advantageous for me to be patient and keep it in storage for a few months? Maybe there's something I'm missing?
Any help at this point would be greatly appreciated. | Parents are divorcing and have to leave the house by the end of the month. Have to sell the expensive piano inside it by the end of the month or pay for storage (which I don't have money for). |
t3_46uukf | tifu | TIFU by showing my bf's grandma my dick pic | This is my first post ever and i'm not really a story teller so... Here I go.
This actually happened like a week ago at my SO birthday lunch.
The entire family was sitting at a table for 14 at Chili's. The restaurant was super busy and we were all kinda crowded because they sat us pretty much in a hallway. Anyway, it was crowded and we all take our seats and start ordering drinks. I get my SO 3 Long Island Iced Teas and he orders his own drink (Oh yeah its my SO 21st Bday). The lady comes back and says they were 2-4-1 so now my SO has 6 Long Islands in front of him plus his own. He finishes all his drinks before we leave. Moving on, his grandmother sat next to me and we were talking about what I got him for his Bday, so I told her I have a picture of it (and no its not my pecker) So i'm really close to her now because i'm gonna show her the gift and so i'm scrolling up my photos, there it is a picture of my big guy. I do some weird shit with my fingers and open another app. At this point i'm honestly trying to avoid the embarrassment. I glance at her from the corner of my eye and she's just staring at me, eyes wide open... We were silent the entire bday lunch.
Never told my SO, even if I would have told him that day he had 6 Long Islands and was plastered, so. | was proud of my gift to my SO tried showing his grandma ended up showing her my junk instead, died of embarrassment, probably lost her blessing for marriage |
t3_yp8x1 | BreakUps | Went through a rough break-up, how do I move on? | I[25] recently went through a break-up with a girl[19] I had been dating for a year and a half. I've dated other girls for longer, but none ever meant so much to me as this one. She broke it off because she said I was too much like her father, as in controlling. She got fed up with me asking where she was if I hadn't heard from her or calling to see how she was while she was hanging out with friends. Basically, she broke up with me(at least as I see it) for caring. She has a lot of issues on her own though, mostly relating to her father.
Anyway, this has left me emotionally crushed. I've never cried from a break-up before, but I've been crying and throwing up for a few days now. I invested more of myself than I ever have. How am I possibly supposed to move on from this? Everyone keeps telling me this is a good thing, and that I'll find someone better. I wanted to marry this girl.
Has anyone else ever gone through a break-up like this? Does it actually get better? Right now I feel like I don't have anything to offer the next person. If I gave everything I had to this girl and she does this, how am I supposed to look forward to the next? A friend told me it was an experience to learn from, but I can't see what I learned. Don't give them my all? Remain closed up and detached? How am I supposed to put myself out there again? Not to mention that I'm starting a new job that is basically all guys; I don't even know where to try and meet some one. I've always dated co-workers or friends of friends. | How do I emotionally put myself out there again for the next girl to come along after being so hurt by this one? |
t3_umjrf | AskReddit | What's the most awesome way you've met another redditor IRL? I'll start. | It was the first day of class and a dude sits next to me and opens up his computer. I noticed reddit was the homepage, so I drew a REALLY shitty "Socially Awkward Penguin" for him and put it in front of him.
He immediately posts it to the subreddit for the University we both go to, and it shoots up to the front page of that subreddit. But this is where it gets awesome...
Within a half hour, the dude shows me one of the comments on the post, and it's the IT guy who is filming our class! We briefly talked during the break, but haven't spoken since then. (It was a web enhanced class, so it only met in person a couple of days...rest of the class was online).
Anyway, here is the proof:
Original Link:
Comment from the IT guy: | met a redditor in class, he posted to our university subreddit, and we met another redditor who was also in that classroom. |
t3_mqe8p | AskReddit | I have no idea where I should be posting things like this. I know it's not here, but where should it go?! | Okay okay, I know. Actually, I don't. This may be an appropriate place, given that I have a legitimate question for redditors. I wanted to post [this link] of Disney Channel original movies, but I don't know where to put it.
I could just take a picture of the list, which seems to be what people do now adays, but then the list doesn't fit, and it should be linked to the wiki page.
I could take a video of me scrolling down the page, but that is even more ridiculous than submitting it as a picture.
So I ask you, AskReddit: is there some miscelanious "cool shit on the internet" subreddit, or do I have to pretend it fits into world news or science or something? I've generally defaulted to r/trees, because ents usually like cool shit on the internet, but since submitting to reddit.com was banned, anything without a "Sign this petition" or rage comic goes unnoticed. | Where the fuck should I post something like a list on a wikipedia page, which is intended to make people be like "I know about things in this list too!" |
t3_2bekoy | relationships | Me [25 M] with my [23 F] of 8 months and she just left me and I need advice. | We had been dating for 8 months and everything was amazing. I had just purchased and engagement ring and was planning on purposing in the next couple of weeks. Well, she left me yesterday.
Her reasoning was that she was not happy with herself and couldn't give me what I gave her. She said I was perfect and everything but that she needed to figure herself out before she could be in a relationship.
She is 23, 24 in Oct. She has always lived at home simply due to circumstances. She has been looking for a real job, currently a barista, but she wants to work in social services and the job opportunities are very limited. She said she has always relied on other people for her happiness and to take care of things for her and she wants to do that for her self. She wants independence which I understand but don't want to accept.
I still feel like she is my soul mate and this will allow her to mature and grow as an individual which was my only complaint with her while dating (immaturity at times).
I guess I want to know if anybody else has experienced something similar and if you ended back up with the person you left or not. Also, if you can relate to her and give me some insight into how she is thinking for my own piece of mind. I know people will break up for years then end up back together and it may simply be blind hope to keep my emotions in check but I truly truly believe we will end up together. I have been through other break ups and have never thought that so being this sure of something after just being dumped is a new feeling for me. | Got my heart broken last night and want to know if you guys can help me understand it more. I know we will end up together but how do I let go for the time being? |
t3_3r18vz | loseit | Ate out for the first time since starting this weight loss, need advice. | I've been at this for about 6 weeks now, and tonight I ate out for the first time. I'd read some posts here about restaurants and how to handle eating out, so I felt pretty sane about it all.
Yesterday we decided where we were going and I picked something from the menu I've had before and amazingly, someone had logged that dish into MFP so I was even able to pre-track it.
Today I whittled my breakfast and lunch down a bit to make up for the total calories of this dish but by mid-afternoon I wanted to kill everyone because I was so hungry so I ended up eating a giant apple, which made me feel tons better but meant I was going to go (way) over. Then we get to the restaurant and I'm feeling great and I order with confidence... and the dish was *different*!! The main ingredients were similar but not identical and the toppings were totally different and I have no idea what to do with that. I ended up going with the original thing I tracked (600 cal) but just multiplied it by 1.5 for a total of 900 cal just in case, which hopefully also makes up for the three bites of someone else's dressed salad that I had.
I can live with all of that... but what should I expect when I get on the scale tomorrow? | Went out to eat and ended up with a different dish than I expected and pre-tracked and now not sure how to track or what to expect from the scale in the morning. |
t3_2x5j3g | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 11 months, making me feel forgetful and crazy, maybe I am? | This is probably going to turn into a rant, so if it does, I'm sorry.
This all started when, early in the morning, I asked my boyfriend to hang out with me when he got home from school. He said okay, so I obviously got ready, put my makeup on, etc. Then, when it was around the time he should have been getting here, he said he wasn't being serious and that he was hanging out with his friends instead of me, "don't you remember?". I'm so sure he never said that to me, and it feels like he's trying to make me feel stupid and forgetful for something he never even said. I feel like he just wanted an easy get out of jail free card so he can go smoke weed with his friends, when he knows I hate smoking.
This isn't the first time either. It seems like regularly I'll "forget" something, or remember something wrong, and he'll insist that I'm forgetful. I don't know if I'm going crazy or he's just lying to me, but I swear most of the time it's something he's never even mentioned to me before. Why would someone lie about something like that? What's the purpose of making somebody feel like they're losing it? | Boyfriend makes me feel like I'm forgetting things that I'm sure he never told me, then makes me feel stupid for it. Is this relationship even worth saving? |
t3_4o8d29 | relationships | I [19M] have been dating a really nice guy [20M] for over 2 months and I said I love you but I regret it now. | One night after we had sex I felt that I wanted to tell him I loved him and I said it. He didn't say it back, only smiled and I thought it was OK. I felt kind of weird but I managed it fine, I believe.
We are still doing the same programs, seeing each other every day, some nights I sleep over his apartment and he does at mine, it's all the same. However I feel that I said it too early. Not even I feel sure about that feeling.
This morning while we were preparing to go to class and he was taking a shower I searched through his messages (An act I don't usually do on any relationships I have) "MY NAME said I love you" and I found exactly what I wanted. He told his best friend what I said and wanted advises. On those texts he said he really liked me but didn't really know if he felt that way yet.
Anyway, now I don't know if I should keep not talking about it, just like I've been doing or if I should tell him I regret saying I love you too early and then talk about it.
What should I do? | He didn't talk to me about it and I believe he wants to, because it's been more than a week since I said it and He told his friend about that two days ago. |
t3_3a729d | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [26 F] on and off for a few months, we get along great but she doesn't feel that "click". Can it still work? | Basically this girl started as my best friend. We have the perfect friendship, so a few months ago we hooked up and tried being a couple.
This went on for a couple weeks but she ended it saying she didn't get that special feeling in her stomach when we would kiss and she had to force herself to have sex with me so we ended it.
We live very close to each other so we would still run into each other and of course started to hang out again, but as friends. About a week ago we decided to try again since we get along so great, but although we were a lot more intimate this time around, she still doesnt feel that "click" she is looking for and says she is forcing it. Is there anything I can do to change that? Is this something that can even change? Or will she always be forcing herself? | Girlfriend doesn't feel that special "click" when we kiss and although our relationship is pretty perfect outside of the bedroom, inside it feels forced. Can that change over time? |
t3_elghn | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, how did you escape the service industry? | I am a late 20's female who has been working as a waitress at a fancy restaurant in a large metropolitan area for the last 8 years. My job is okay, but I don't want to be a waitress for the rest of my life. Last year I earned a liberal arts degree but unfortunately there are not many opportunities in my field. I have decided that it is time to leave the restaurant, but no one is responding to my resume applications. Staffing agencies direct me to fill out online applications with an empty promise that they will call me some day. I am getting nowhere and I don't know what to do.
I am basically looking for any opportunity that can turn into a career. I am good with people, I am confident in myself, and I know that I will make a great impression in an interview...but no one will even talk to me.
So Reddit, I ask you, how did you escape your "youthful" job to land a career opportunity? | How do I go from a service job to an office job without already having a degree in cubicle anthropology?! Reddit, I am at a loss! |
t3_16iy2e | AskReddit | Have you ever had a dream in which he actions in the dream, happen in reality? | When I originally moved to this area, I moved with my boyfriend at the time, he turned into a manipulative, lying, mind game playing, psychopath, who extorted me for money and tried to force me into prostitution.
When I moved out the cops got involved, he kept most of my stuff I had to finance through him ( bed, dresser, etc) and refused to give them to me. He ended up selling everything but I still had my iPhone that he wanted back ( I had paid for it ), Long story short he ended up breaking into my new home while I was sleeping and stole my phone and my current boyfriends laptop.
Few months ago I had a dream that he was going to get into a massive car accident and die because of all the shit he would try and pile into his small 91' Toyota Corolla (pipes hanging out the window etc etc)
Now I figured this was just my brains way of telling me that I am over the situation and moving on in life. But 15 minutes ago, I passed a 4 car pile up on the highway. I noticed one of the cars and recognized it as his immediately.
As far as I can tell from the scanner, 1 person is dead, and 3 are in critical condition... | I dreamt that my scummy ex bf was going to get into a car accident, today I passed his car in a 4 car pile up |
t3_w1qy7 | relationships | How long should I wait? | My girlfriend (25F) broke up with me a few days before I left to Israel (26M). Been together for 4, almost 5 years.
I posted earlier about the situation. I lied to her, she broke up with me. In one conversation before I left she said we would re-evaluate where we stand when I get back from my month long vacation. Now I'm back and I'm wondering how long do I wait till we talk about the situation? I figure it give it a few days and ask for her lunch or something. For those interested, here's the [post.](
The long vacation only made me realize how much I truly do love her and how sorry I am. But the longer I've been away the more pessimistic I've become about how she views me and she views the future of our relationship. So I'm scared at the same. Also on a side note we had some conversation while I was away but again it was minimal. | Girlfriend broke up with, said we'd re-evaluate when I get back from my trip. Just got back, when do I call? |
t3_wjmf5 | relationship_advice | 22/M dating a girl 21/F, total pain in my ass this week. | Overall, the biggest issue is this, I wasn't 100% for the relationship in the first place, we were just FWB for like 4 months, hung out all the time, all my friends were asking "where's the girlfriend", "wheres the wifey" well before we were even official. She and I have the talk which results in us dating, we had absolutely ZERO problems until this point, nothing really changed with the exception of the title. Her sex drive is infinitely higher than mine, and she gets overly pissed if I don't have sex with her. She keeps doing little things like whenever she wakes up and I'm there just doin' my own thing letting her sleep, I'll look over and say "good morning babe/beautiful/ect." and blow her a kiss. She ignores it, she will just roll off with a pissy look or something and completely pretend like I didn't say or do anything at all. I'll then usually ask "what's wrong" or "you ok" simply to be ignored again. Few minutes later usually followed by a bitchy comment about "are you gonna be on the computer all night or should I just go back to sleep?", triggering me being a smartass. I'll do something little to get her to smile then usually cuddle in which she is just kinda there. Wondering if I'm wasting my time or what. Any advice reddit? | Girlfriend wakes up bitchy and continues to be bitchy until I have sex with her. Wasting my time? |
t3_39un8h | relationships | Me [18 M/] with my Not sure?___ [18/F] duration, female comes into my life shortly after having heart broken | Hi guys/gals, so I have seemed to find myself in quite the odd situation.
So a little bit of background, my significant other and myself both graduated high school a few weeks ago. As tradition, our county all goes down to the beach in what we call (beach week). I only knew this female at the time because she was in a sort of relationship with one of my friends. So anyways, basically down at beach week everyone hooks up and there's a lot of sex/drugs/booze/etc. This female was good friends with someone in my house, so he invited her house over to ours in hopes of being able to get me with her. Keep in mind, she had just got out of a 6 month relationship with someone else so she was obviously torn up about it.
Anyways, to make a long story short, her and I hit it off and were with eachother for 4 straight nights down at the beach. When it was time for us to leave she was torn up about it, but I got her number and we texted on and off. We've hung out a few times since, went to an baseball game with a few other couples and went to a few parties together. She's told my friends she really likes me and such.
The issue is that I can tell she is still really hung up about this other kid, and I'm afraid she's just looking for someone to give her love or whatever she didn't get from her last relationship, and she's rushing into it with me. I really have feelings for her and I don't think I've ever felt this way before. We have a lot in common and enjoy eachothers company but I just can't stop thinking about how she probably still loves someone else.
What do I do? | Really like a girl who just recently got out of a long relationship. It seems like she likes me but I don't know if it's how she really feels. |
t3_2wqjlg | relationships | My (29F) fiancee (32M) left after 4 years together. I'm completely devastated and don't know how I can ever trust anyone again or rebuild my life. | I was with my fiance for four years (one year engagement and 3 years of dating).
From the beginning I knew my fiance had anxiety and panic issues, specifically when flying planes, driving over bridges, going up elevators, hiking in the mountains, etc. This runs in his family. I asked him repeatedly over the years to get help but he did not. About 6 months after we got engaged he started having panic attacks almost daily and finally sought the help of a therapist. I asked him directly if this was related to getting married and he said no. I accepted his answer and figured the daily panic attacks were triggered by an incident he had on a plane around the same time.
Another six months later, around the holidays, he changed his tune. He started telling me that he believed his panic attacks were related to the engagement and impending marriage. He said he felt "lost" in our relationship and that he didn't feel like he could be himself around me. After a month of flip-flopping, he left, saying he needed to be on his own to figure himself out and that he didn't want our relationship anymore.
This completely shocked me. I could not understand why he said he felt lost nor why he blamed the panic attacks on our relationship. I always supported him in his work and hobbies and I stood by him throughout years of panic episodes and anxiety. I was 100% committed to making our relationship work no matter what. I suggested couples counseling but he was not interested.
I don't know how I will ever be able to move on and trust anybody again, let alone consider marriage again. Everyone keeps telling me "I dodged a bullet" but instead I just feel like I was emotionally duped and I wasted four years of my life. | Fiance left after four years, blaming panic attacks and identity crisis on our relationship. How do I rebuild my life without him and learn to trust anyone again? |
t3_2qt049 | relationships | My [17F] boyfriend [18M] confessed he has had serious urges to kill me and other people. | He's been my friend for over a year, and we've been dating for about 5 months. Since we have a great relationship and we are friends and we love each other, we tell each other everything. Today I started to realize there were some things that I should be worried about. Over time he has told me that he gets off by rape and "bloody naked women", he has had hallucinations that were too vile to even tell me, he has had a difficult childhood, he has insomnia, and that he often has thoughts about killing people, including me. When I asked if he has ever had actual urges to put the thoughts to action, he replied yes. He realizes he possesses terrifying qualities and he promised me that he would never hurt me. I love him for his personality and friendship, and he makes my life a lot more fun. I'm wondering if I'm making the right decision by wanting to stay with him. I'm just a teenager that's never had a serious, "in love", relationship and I don't want this to come between us, but I can't help but feel no longer completely safe now that I know this. Should I let this end our relationship and friendship or look past it as a minor flaw? | My boyfriend has thoughts of killing others and me, wondering if I should worry/end about our relationship or forgive him for it. |
t3_1hr8f0 | relationships | I[29F] don't know how to interpret my inexperienced geek love interest's[23M] actions... | I am 29F, he is 23M. I've been playing the dating game since I was 15 or so, and as far as I can gather he hasn't really done much of it at all, ever. We've been going on dates (or, hanging out?) for a few months now. When we are together, we have really great chemistry, so much so that the last few times we've been having intense makeout sessions, and we talk for hours. Normally I'd expect for it to progress into us being an exclusive couple because of how well things are when we are together...but..I can't tell if he really likes me or not. When we *aren't* hanging out, it's super difficult to get him to talk to me or make plans. He's super inexperienced (I don't think he's even had a proper girlfriend before) so I don't know if he doesn't know that if he likes a girl, that they like to be acknowledged and to have a conversation or two every few days and to make plans and not be quite so last minute like they are with their buddies, or if he genuinely isn't interested like that.
It wouldn't be quite so bad if I didn't have other guys pursuing me and being a bit more aggressive about it. I know I can't sit around waiting for something that may not ever happen no matter how much I want it to. I feel guilty for going on dates with other guys because I wish it was him there with me instead, but if he's not interested, I need to get over the guilt and move on.
**So what do you think, Reddit? Does he like me, or does he like me not? How does one deal with a super inexperienced guy? | Guy seems to be slow moving, unsure if he likes me or not because of his inexperience in dating, need to move on if he doesn't. |
t3_pog25 | AskReddit | Could someone help me with my dog problems? | I have an 8 year old Australian Shepard mix, and up until last year, she was the most gentle thing on the planet. However, last February we bought a 3 year old Pit mix and then in June bought a Cockapoo, and her behavior turned a 180. Both the Pit and the Poo are really friendly, but Angel (the Aussie) has taken to them rather badly. Since their arrival, Angel has become more food aggressive, territorial, and all around bitchier (pun intended.) Is this just a result of the new dogs, even though they've never done much of anything to her? Or could it just be her old age? Is there anything I can do to counter this? All tips are welcome. Thanks, Reddit! | I got some new dogs, and now my old dog is being a real bitch. Why is this? Tips to help? |
t3_2msc8z | relationships | Me [23M] with my 25 F] of 6 months, lied to me saying she was at the restaurant she works at . But after looking at a instagram picture she was tagged in, she was actually at another place. | Basically, my gf told me she was at work, and she sent me a pic of her in her work outfit at around 730. I got out of work at 10, asking how she was doing and I could already tell her she was drunk. She was supposed to leave work early so she could get home and get to my place early morning today.
After looking at instagram I stumbled upon a pic she posted of a martini , I asked her where she was and she said she was at her work. I could tell somethin was off because the bar just looked different .... I then looked at her co workers page ago she was with who also posted a pic of the same drink, except in her picture I could see a menu that was not of the place they work at.
She called me at around 12 when she was on her way home and I again asked her where she was , she confirmed that she was hanging out at her job. I asked about the drink because I had never seen it before and she said it was a new drink they are bringing in. She then had to get off the phone and didn't text me when she got home or anything . ( which is something she does quite often).
So I'm just confused as to why she would lie to me about where she was. On top of that I usually go see her after work but she was adamant on convincing me not to come see her that night , she also did her hair up extra special... | Gf lied to me about where she was, didn't want me to come see her, made her hair up extra special. Why would she lie to me about where she was ? |
t3_22bkbs | relationships | Me [25 M] with my exfiance [22F] 2.5 years, bad breakup...been doing No Contact for 4 weeks now, except she's driving by frequently. How do I maintain No Contact? | My exfiance and I had a bad breakup. Worst breakup I ever had. She decided on the phone 4 weeks ago that it was goodbye for good over the phone. Been in No Contact since. I've come very close to texting or calling her. But I've stayed strong. If I thought the relationship was salvageable I would. But she's not an emotionally stable person.
Now every time she's in town she's driving by my house. I live 45 minutes away from her, and out of the way. She drives by slowly too and I've been outside while shes done this so I've noticed.
I want to call, and I want to text. But it was her choice to say goodbye not mine. I'm sure this is a no brainer for the emotionally disconnected. But I don't know if I should or should not break contact. Is she sending me a sign to break that? Why would she drive by. I've had about 5 girls over and I think she might have seen at least 1 here while she drove by.
Is she just doing it to drive by see me? Or see if I'm with anybody or wtf?
Having a hard time staying strong on this one. | exfiance of 2.5 breaks up with me and says goodbye for good. Now drives by my house frequently which is way out of the way for her. What gives? |
t3_41gi3h | relationships | My [30/M] best friend of 20 years [29/M] has blocked my wife [31/M] and I because I overstepped a boundary that I didn't even know existed. | I'm kind of panicking right now, so forgive me if this doesn't come off as clear, but I'll give it a shot.
I've been best friends with J since we were in middle school. I've moved about 2 hours away from home a few years ago, but we're still in touch, and he comes to visit me, my wife, and my daughter.
he's in a bit or a rough spot right now. Going back to school, living with his mom, no job or funds, and things are rocky with his girlfriend. Let's call her K for simplicity's sake.
I've met K a handful of times, but she's very similar to me. A but younger, but she suffers from anxiety. I was in a similar spot to her a few years ago, and J didn't want to talk to me about the problems, so I figured I'd extend an olive branch to K and discuss things with her concerning her state of mind, moving out from home, etc. I'm a very outgoing person by nature, so I wanted to help someone because I had no one to give me advice in my situation.
K mentioned this today to J, and he was very angry that I had talked to her. He says (through her) that I've betrayed his friendship by talking to her, and has blocked my wife and I from all social media, and refuses to talk to either of us by phone or otherwise. He's also apparently "punishing" K by not talking to her either.
I wish I knew what to do, but I'm just broken inside. It hurts so much that he'd think I was being deceitful or doing anything but trying to help someone who was in my shoes not too long ago, but he won't even let me explain myself. I'm not sure how to be okay with this and handle it, it's just so painful and hard. Mostly posting here to rant/vent I guess. | best friend of almost 20 years broke all contact and refuses to discuss things with me. Seems like he won't talk to me ever again. How can I live with myself ever again? |
t3_34a884 | relationships | How do I [21/f] talk to my girlfriend [20/f] about a physical feature that I find unattractive ? | I know this may sound like a joke, but I'm serious, please don't think that this is a troll or joke post.
Myself and my girlfriend have been dating for a couple of months now, and everything is going great except that I have one serious issue.
She has the hairiest butt I've ever seen. I mean not even the small usual amount everyone has, but were talking a lot. Outside and in.
Without getting NSFW about our intimacy, she is always complaining that I do not touch her butt enough etc, and wants to be more adventurous during our intimate times. To be quite honest, I cant help but find it quite repelling, and feel very guilty about the fact that I cant look past it.
I'm 99.99% sure that she is unaware of it. She is also very sensitive so I feel like bringing this topic up in a wrong way will really hurt her feelings. More honestly I'm really afraid of talking to her about it because I honestly feel like she will extremely upset, and proceed to lash out verbally and flitter me. (She gets very offended, and on the defensive can say hurtful things sometimes)
Can anyone give me any advice on how I can break this to her? | My significant other, has an extremely hairy ass, always complains that I do not pay enough attention to it, but the truth is I get quite repelled. I don't know how to break the news to her. |
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