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t3_4o1pfx | relationships | Me [35 M] with my [33 F] confusing friend | I'm sure yall hear this type of question often but here it goes.
Me and my friend have been close friends for several years now.
It first started when we worked together. We became close friends and hung out all the time. I ended up falling for her and telling her how I felt but she told me was hung up on some other dude.
We continued to be friends and hang out all the time. She ended up moving away but before she left she confessed that she did have feeling for me but the timing never worked out.
That was three years ago and since then we have visited each other and stayed in close contact. During this time she got herself a boyfriend that is a long distance relationship.
We are now again working together at the same place and pretty much picked up where we left off hanging out all the time and having an awesome time doing it. Everything comes so easy with her like no other person I've ever known.
Since we started hanging out again the flirting and playful touching as increased a lot. We have all these trips played not only local but to places out of the country as well. We hang out whenever we can and text each other all the time.
As an example I work night shift and one day I was having trouble sleeping and she texts me "I should come over and wear you out so you can sleep ;)."
Whenever we are close or touching I feel a spark and I think she feels it too. I don't know if I'm reading too much into this and we are just friends or maybe she feels something too but might be feeling guilty about her boyfriend. The third option is she's just keeping me on the hook just in case things don't work out with her boyfriend.
I don't think that's the case she doesn't seem like that kind of girl but I have been wrong before and often. Just asking for a little insight from people that are smarting about this stuff then myself. | Confused about mixed signals I'm getting from a girl I really like and just looking for any insight from people that have been in this situation before. Thanks |
t3_1nxrdr | pettyrevenge | My best friends ex is a whore (photo album included). | My best friend went through a rough breakup, they dated for about 4 years and the whole time we (I) suspected her of cheating. I hated her from the very beginning, but no matter how much I complained my buddy didn't listen. Eventually she leaves him for another guy and runs off the face of the Earth. Really bitch move. Of course eventually she returns and wants to get back together and refused to let him live his own life.
That's where this album came into play. I know it's childish, I dont really care. We would go and eat and a pretty popular restaurant in a small(er) town, where all of her close friends work. They have these tables already set up as blackboards so you can doodle while you wait for beer and food. I started drawing my "slut monsters" and labeling her on each and every one of them. And to be totally honest, since I've been so consistent with them for the last year, she definitely knows of them, I think it has helped a lot. My buddy moved on and eventually found a new girlfriend (who ended up getting added to the last two pictures) and his ex refused to talk to us anymore.
[Album]( | Best friend had a rough break up, ex girlfriend is a whore. She is publicly ridiculed at a local bar where all her friends work at. He's doing a lot better. |
t3_4daasu | relationships | I'm [21 f] constantly paranoid that my boyfriend [26 m] is cheating on me | Preface: I'm the most insecure girl in the world. You know that "gut feeling" everyone says they have when they are asked, "How did you know she/he was cheating on you?" Well I have that feeling all the time. Whether it be a missed call from an unknown number, to the passenger seat in his car not being positioned exactly as I remembered it.
I conjure a lot of shit up in my head. I know a lot of it is in my head. He's never cheated, but I can't shake that "gut feeling" whenever something seems off.
Whenever something 'abnormal' occurs, my instinct tells me he's cheating on me.
All my insecurities and accusations have pushed him away. It's taken several months for us to get back to normal and rebuild our relationship. When my insecurities are gone, our relationship is amazing; he is responsive, loving, caring, and open again. But the second I start bringing up the past, accusing him of things, he pulls back and I can tell he loses hope in us.
Please help. How do I push these thoughts out of my head. I know tonight is just one of those nights when my insecurities are trying to take over me. This isn't a situation where I have loads of proof of him cheating. It's just an instance, but I need help calming my brain and making that "gut feeling" shut up before I say something stupid.
I don't want to rock the boat over something so stupid. I'm so mad at myself for thinking this way.
Harsh advice wanted. Anything to make my head shut up. | I am constantly paranoid that my boyfriend is cheating on me, thinking about other girls, or wanting to get back with his exes. How do I get control of my insecurities and feel happy and confident in the relationship again. |
t3_3he8v1 | tifu | TIFU by almost burning down my apartment and immediate future. | Today was a beautiful day in Cleveland, Ohio. I was out on my balcony enjoying the nice weather with a mug of hot green tea, a big glass of ice water, my phone with a plethora of reddit to read, and a citronella candle to keep away the bugs. Quite the pleasant evening if you ask me.
After an hour or so outside, duty called. I headed to the bathroom to take care of business so I could get back to my post outside. Approximately three minutes later I heard a frantic banging on my door accompanied by muffled screams. I recognized the urgency of the pounding so I jumped up and got to the door without even wiping.
Before I fully open the door my neighbor started running through my apartment holding a bucket of water and yelling, "YOUR BALCONY IS ON FIRE!" As he scurried to the back I went to the fridge and grabbed my large Brita tank of water and demonstrated my vast diction muttering, "fuck fuck fuck fucking shit fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck..."
Luckily my neighbor caught the fire early and was able to put it out before I even got there. I never leave candles unattended but the one time it slipped my mind I almost burned down my home. I'm not sure how I could sit next to a candle for so long and then be betrayed by it after only minutes alone but it happened.
So there I stood. Panicked, embarrassed, relieved, thankful, and with a shitty ass. The damage isn't bad, only a few boards to replace which I will have no problem fixing. It could have ended so much worse though. I've been saving up to move across the country in a few months and without renters insurance I could have been screwed to the max.
Even if he hated me I'm sure he would have helped me put out the fire but let this be a lesson to all. Always be kind to your neighbors, they may end up saving your life. As a thank you I bought him some good Great Lakes Brewery beer and a pack of his favorite smokes. I also told him I owe him a emergency fire extinguishing to which he replied, "That won't be necessary, I'm not as stupid as you." Touche good sir, touche. | A mistakenly unattended candle caught my balcony on fire. My neighbor caught it early and put it out before serious damage was done. My butt went unwiped for much longer than preferred. |
t3_3ixwxh | relationships | I[21F] got my heart broken by my boyfriend[24M] because of my hookah | My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and this afternoon he broke up with me for the silliest of reasons. I really need someone to please tell me I'm not crazy and this was a serious over reaction.
Anyway, today I was over at his apartment and I had brought over my new to hookah to smoke while we chilled and played games on his | Boyfriend broke up with me because I blew some smoke in his face. Did I deserve this or is he just being childish? |
t3_1gldxf | relationships | Me[27M] and my GF [21F] of 2 years are having fundamental differences in how we express issues within our relationship | My girlfriend and I are having a lot of trouble adjusting to our difference in how we approach each other with issues we have.
I tend to be much more forward with my issues with her. Although there are few, I tend to be very up front and sometimes too forward with how I approach her. I understand that it is sometimes difficult for her to listen to my complaints without getting upset. It is not my intent to hurt her feelings; rather, I try to eliminate problems while they are still small in hopes they will not become a larger problem. She often becomes upset even when I try to approach the situation as delicately as possible. She admits she has trouble listening to criticism and accepting her faults, and I admit I am sometimes too candid when speaking about issues I have with her.
She, on the other hand, has a great deal of trouble expressing her issues with me while they still only bother her to a minor extent. She does not tell me about things that bother her and they eventually show themselves in unpleasant ways. Sometimes it is when we have alcohol to drink, and sometimes it is when she is an unhappy mood and I have said something which would be considered the tipping point. I have very thick skin and have told her on many occasions that she can be as blunt with me as she'd like. I recognize that I have many faults and I'm always willing to improve myself and work on becoming a better person. Even knowing this, she has a great deal of trouble opening up to me before it's too late.
I love this girl very much and I hope to spend the rest of my life with her, but these issues are beginning to cripple our relationship. We both accept that we have faults in this situation and we are willing to make whatever changes needed to have a harmonious relationship. What can we do to help alleviate our differences? | I am very forward when discussing issues I have with my GF, sometimes too forward. She has trouble expressing her issues with me until they have become too much and she explodes. |
t3_1oeglz | relationships | Me (23f) with boyfriend (23m), feeling depressed and insecure...should I ask for a break? | I've been with my boyfriend a few years. He seems to be caring and sweet, although sometimes I feel panicked that maybe he doesn't care about me as much I think he does, as I have a history of being in abusive manipulative relationships where I was too naiive to see what was going on.
I try to consider the facts objectively but it's really difficult since I have feelings for him. This is the longest I've been in a relationship and I'm scared that I've gotten so caught up in it that I'm not able to tell if I'm actually happy and he's right for me or not.
I have depression and personal issues (from past abuse) and am very insecure so I always feel like I'm not good enough for a boyfriend and this is the best I will ever be able to get, because I'm not worth much. So I have no idea if these nagging doubts are just personal fears of mine or if there is anything to it.
There are so many things bubbling up inside me that I want to talk to him about but I never feel like I can, because I don't want to ruin a good thing. I try to talk with him about these things when we drink because it's the only time I feel brave enough to be honest, but it never gets anywhere and ends up with drunk sex that I barely remember the next day.
Basically I want to cut off contact with him for a week or two, just to get my own things sorted out so I can maybe look at things not in the clouded haze of hanging out with him. But I don't know how to do this without him taking it really hard and thinking we're breaking up or something, and then being so upset that I have to calm him down and then say I didn't mean it...because that's the only way I see it going. And if he really is a good guy then of course I don't want to ruin a good thing. | don't know if relationship is one-sided or not, want a way to have a break to figure things out without screwing up the relationship |
t3_i7p7r | relationship_advice | She pulled the best friend card | Update 1 from:
So I listened to your guys advise. For the time she was on vacation we didn't talk to much. She finally returned from her vacation and we resume talking all the time. Ended up hanging out yesterday doing a movie night where I attempted to enact "RRA plan #1". Everything went well and by the end of the night we got the whole physical contact thing and there even was a scent of sexual tension in the air. Left feeling like this was going to be the easiest thing ever and couldn't wait to report my success. We started texting in the morning and I was joking about how one day she is going to disappear and never talk to me again. Where she pulled the line "<Derpsidemojo> over the course of the semester you have become one of my best friends it would take a lot for me to disappear without talking to you". As you can guess my balls ascended upon reading the text and all my previous confidence and optimism is down the drain. So I return to you guys in the first update of my running series asking if it's possible to return from this to attain my goal or should I pack up my balls and join the forever alone express? | Used boost of confidence to start making a move on someone only to be halted in my tracks by hearing the line no man wants to hear "best friend" |
t3_4l5wgf | relationships | Me [17 M] with my ex[17/F] I need help getting my ex back! | 2 years ago I had been with my ex for around a year, a new set of people joined my friendship group, one of which was a girl who was interested in me, she would message me all the time even though she knew I had a girlfriend. She asked me to go out as friends one day so I agreed and thought nothing of it. She ended up kissing me which totally shocked me and I felt really bad so I told her to not speak to me anymore, however when we were out someone from our school seen us together and told my current girlfriend, we broke up.
I was ruined, my mind was all over. long story short I then proceeded to get in a relationship with the girl who kissed me for about 10 months, she cheated on me so I broke it off.
I really wanted my ex back! She was with a guy though, I waited patiently and they finally broke up about a month ago. I cant help but think about her everyday, I still love her and want to start talking to her again but I don't know how, or if she'll even like me. | I have been broken up from my ex for a while now and I want to know how I could start talking to her again. |
t3_em5ei | AskReddit | I am a young man who had his first few sexual experiences only with hookers, how do I learn to have normal relationships with women? | Wasn't sure whether to put this in r/relationship_advice or r/sex so just decided this place was close enough.
Long story short I'm a 19 year old uni student and lost my virginity to an escort over the summer, and then I ended up wasting about a $1000 on escorts over the course of a month. Since then I decided to stop wasting money on them and it's been a few months since I had sex with one.
Truth be told I had hoped the experience of losing my virginity would finally give me the confidence to actually be able to approach women sexually. I have tons of friends, go to parties all the time, but more often than not I just find I don't know how to initiate anything with a girl even if she's drunk and wild or something. You could say I almost feel like I am still a virgin in a ton of ways. I've never been on a date, never kissed a girl, never held a girl's hand or anything like that. At most I've danced with girls at parties.
Even the thought of having sex again seems disgusting to me at this point. In my mind I can only associate it with the business-like model of simply handing money over to a hooker and then having sex with her. A lot of friends ask me why I never try to find a girlfriend or even do anything with girls at parties (let me say that I've had a lot of chances). Sex has become almost negatively reinforced in my mind from the bad experiences I've had with escorts. I can't even imagine what sex with just a normal consenting person is like. | I only have experience having sex with hookers and now sex in general seems disgusting to me. How do I correct the enormous fuck up I've made in my life? |
t3_goqgo | AskReddit | What's the awkwardest moment you've had at work? | Mine may not be that bad, but it definitely was really awkward. I worked all of last summer at a frozen yogurt shop, and at one point I had this one customer come in pretty frequently, and for some reason (I still don't know why) I thought he was one my best friend's cousin. He came in with his daughter every now and then and I never mentioned the fact that I thought he was my friend's cousin. One day, my friend comes in, and this guy happens to be there at the same time. So like the genius that I am I say to my friend, "hey, your cousin's here" pointing at the guy. They look at each other for maybe about 15 seconds (but it felt like forever), and the guy just left after some extremely awkward silence. My friend then looked at me and says, "I have no idea who that guy is" and I felt like the biggest idiot. | I worked at a yogurt shop and thought a customer was my friend's cousin, ended up being they weren't and awkwardness ensued. |
t3_4hixni | relationships | Me [27 M] with my now-ex [23 F] after 6 months together. Broke up because I do not find her attractive, but everything else what great. Really torn and confused. | So I've been seeing this girl for just over 6 months. Initially I was unsure of my level of attraction for her. I knew I wasn't wildly attracted to her but she definitely is not bad looking. It's more of a personal taste thing, I'd say.
Anyways, over the course of the first 4-5 months of our relationship things were really good. We clicked really well, I haven't met someone like her in a long time, if ever. I think we're really compatible and I really enjoy spending time with her. Importantly, we had really great chemistry AND excellent sexual chemistry. Probably the best sex of my life has been with her.
Over the past month, for whatever reason, I started having stronger and stronger feelings of unease, unsure if I should stay with someone who I do not find particularly attractive. Sex got more tedious, for obvious reasons. Still enjoyable but, yeah.
I broke things off with her last night - somewhat out of the blue, from her perspective. Obviously I did not give her the reasons I'm giving all of you, which made it even more confusing for her (and me, as I was saying it).
What am I doing? Am I passing up on the closest thing I've ever come to finding 'The one' just because I'm shallow and vain? It's hardly been a day and I already miss her. . . but I still look at pictures of her and thing 'eh. . .'
I'm not sure I've ever felt this stormy inside. Just looking for some insight, maybe a little reassurance. Or to be told that I'm an idiot. | Dated a girl I REALLY liked for 6 months; great chemistry as well as sexual chemistry, but not being very attracted to her I recently broke things off. |
t3_1rqfbv | relationships | I [26F] made a poor choice that left me wondering if my fiancé [26m] is a father | My fiancé's ex's name popped up on my Facebook today and I just couldn't help myself, I clicked it. Because golly gee, what could possibly go wrong fb stalking your fiancé's ex?!
I know almost nothing about her. They dated for a couple years, he broke up with her, she got knocked up by one of his friends, they got married. That's about all I know, and, unfortunately, I have no timeline on these events. However, now what I also know is that her husband is not white (I'm not really sure what race he is though). And I also now know that her child is white. What I don't know is enough about genetics to know what the chances of it being her husband's kid are. And I can't really decide if the kid looks like my fiancé or not.
So. What the hell do I do now? First of all, I feel like he would be none too impressed that I'm looking at his ex on Facebook. Second of all, if I cop to it and ask if the kid is his and it's not, he's probably going to be (rightfully) offended. | looked at fiancé's ex's fb, she has a white kid and a not-white husband. Now what? |
t3_1o6csy | relationships | Me [20 F] with my FWB/ex [23 M] of a few weeks, previous relationship was approx. 4 years ago. He kissed me in public. What does this mean for our FWB relationship? | When I [20 F] was 17, I dated this guy [23 M] who was 20. We got along really well, but due to being at different places in our lives and feeling like neither of us had enough time to actually explore the relationship. Prior to dating, he and I had been friends for a year.
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After we broke up, we stayed in touch and went back to being friends. During this 3 year period, we moved to different states, dated other people, and were generally pretty happy. We have always gotten along really well and there were never any hard feelings about our breakup- we even would give each other advice on the people we were seeing.
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Recently, I moved back home and we both weren't seeing other people so we started hooking up. We agreed that we wouldn't put a label on what we were doing and that we were both content with just being whatever we were. I was cool with that- FWB is fine by me. After just getting out of a pretty toxic two year relationship a couple of months ago, I really feel no need to enter another relationship.
---
So today he and I met up between college courses and got coffee. No big deal, we're friends and this is something we would do anyway. Because the coffee shop was pretty crowded we decided to have our coffee outside. We were talking and just having a good time when he kissed me. In public. Multiple times.
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Does this mean anything? Or am I over thinking this and adding meaning to something that was nothing? | FWB kissed me in public. Multiple times. Does this mean anything for our FWB relationship? Or am I just adding meaning to something that had none? |
t3_10p85g | relationship_advice | [17/f] How can I be in a relationship when I'm gone so much? | I'm still in high school, living with the 'rents, the usual. Like most teenage girls I think it'd be nice to have a boyfriend. I've had a few before but they weren't at all serious and were short term. It's hard for me to have any sort of relationship because in the summers I leave the state for 3 months and pretty much any odd weekend/break during the school year, every year. Obviously, most high school guys aren't really cool with putting up with a LDR for 3 months and I don't really blame them. My family are unrelenting in us leaving whenever we can, even though I've told them about the impact it has on me socially. Other family members have brought it up too. Starting a new relationship I feel guilty because I know they'd have to put up with my many absences. What do I do, Reddit? Any tips? Anyone done this before? | I'm out of the state of 3 months of every year. As a high schooler, how am I supposed to maintain a romantic relationship this way? |
t3_2qk1mi | tifu | TIFU by pulling a normal office prank | Well... fuck. I'm sitting here after receiving a call from my general manager on his day off about the shit storm that's about to come down on my head.
In my office we joke around and pull minor little office pranks on each other each week. The job is stressful, but we do this to keep up morale and enjoy a good laugh. Nothing serious, messing with someone's chair, taking a selfie and leaving it as a background. Other trivial shit that I'm sure most office workers know about.
Well... sometimes we fuck with each other's printers.
This is the start of the fuck up. I printed [this picture.]
I hid it in a stack of papers of my co-worker who normally prints price matching listings. She consumes tons of paper and I thought it'd be a funny reminder not to print so much.
Lo and behold, she refills her paper before ever getting to it, and I forget about the nuclear bomb in her printer.
She prints off a legal preservation form for higher ups in the legal division involving a lawsuit, signs it without reading (it was 5 pages), and scans it in. Not to mention she sent the hard copy over as well. The picture was in the middle of stack as a gigantic watermark.
Now my district manager has been informed and I'm waiting to see the outcome. I told my GM that I'd step up and accept responsibility, but this situation sucks dick. | Printed a picture of dickbutt, left in co-workers printer, was printed on legal documents and sent off in hard copy and scan to the legal department. |
t3_3l1514 | relationships | Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [24/M] of 1 year... he talks too much. | This is going to sound like a really stupid problem compared to the other posts in here but I am getting a bit sick of it.
Basically, my boyfriend is the best I've ever had. He's funny, sweet, considerate, good looking, etc. But I'm finding myself getting increasingly annoyed with how much he talks sometimes.
He's a really smart guy and knows a lot of weird random trivia (he's one of those people that stay up super late on Wikipedia and stuff.) So he often just brings up these random topics and talks about them at length. Don't get me wrong, a lot of the stuff he talks about is interesting and funny, but sometimes I just want to hang out with him and watch TV/movies without him constantly interrupting with 5 minute tangents about a subject that's vaguely related to whatever it is we're doing. And then I feel awkward because I often lose interest and give him one word responses but he doesn't take the hint and just keeps on talking.
He also doesn't really know how to act around my friends. If we're hanging out as a group and he has an interesting fact/story, he will turn to me and only talk to me, excluding the rest of my friends. Of course, he always ends up talking for like 5 minutes so I just feel uncomfortable because I'm torn between paying attention to him and hanging out with my friends. He doesn't mean it but I think it comes off as very rude! He also has a bad habit of interrupting people.
He used to have very bad social anxiety so this might be a product of him trying to come off as confident, but usually it's just kind of annoying.
Like I said, he's a great guy. I'm very much in love with him and I can actually see us having a future together. But I just get so tired of listening to him sometimes. I've hinted at the fact that he talks too much occasionally but he doesn't seem to be picking up on it. I'm generally bad with confrontation as well. What do I do, reddit? | My sweet, caring, loving boyfriend often goes on uninvited, long winded tangents about obscure facts I'm not terribly interested in. What do? |
t3_21swx3 | relationship_advice | I (25/f) found out my bf (24/m) is internet obsessed with his ex (?/f) | My boyfriend of a year and a half and I recently moved in together. We've had trust issues in the past. He completely lied about talking to/getting drinks with a different ex causing me to completely distrust him and we eventually broke up when he moved across country. He moved back because I told him I loved him and he realized he loved me as well and wanted a second chance. He moved back last July.
During that break I began talking to this guy, J. He was a manwhore (I knew from multiple random people and could guess by his sketchy "dating") but hey, I thought I'd never see my current bf again and I was lonely. When my bf moved back I ended it with J, turns out he was back together with his ex anyway. I didn't trust that my bf loved me when he returned and I was dumb enough to keep texting J, no intention on cheating but still dumb. Anyway, my bf found out and I fucked up but we moved on and we're happy now. That was I wanna say last September.
We moved in together and things have been really good. He left for a week and I was feeling really depressed and alone so when he returned I looked at his internet history which is horrible I know. But I found out he checks on this one ex gf, S, ALL the time. I can't tell if it's innocent but just constantly checks her tumblr, reddit profile, Facebook (even though he's not friends with her), and Instagram. I know it was terrible that I snooped which is why I don't want to bring it up. But, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough or that he's tired of me.
Reddit, what have you done when you snooped and found something you shouldn't have? | I snooped on my bf's internet history and found out he's constantly looking at an ex's social media and it makes me feel like shit. |
t3_13bsln | tifu | TIFU by shutting my school's entire network down for a whole hour. | I am a Junior in a technologically revered high school. Rewind to the last period of the day... Free period, which means I can do whatever I want really, so I decided to head down to the computer labs. I am widely accepted in presence down there, being a very adept computer user. A widely known computer Operating System in the tech community known as BackTrack was running via USB on the teacher's computer for some unknown reason. As I am usually granted access to such devices, I made myself comfortable in front of the bright screen and clicked around. I have background in BackTrack, but I never had any experience with the more dangerous scripts. Oh how my curiosity killed me, when I ran the following:
flood_router6 eth0
Suddenly, streams of exclamation points ran by my face in mesmerizing glory. In an instant, students in the lab reported slow internet connections, followed by the internet not functioning at all. Suddenly, with a diagnosis, I managed to flood the router so bad that it couldn't use one Default Gateway, but rather around 40. After panicking and leaving, I later discovered that in a chain of negative reactions, every server and cluster in the school was set offline for an hour or more. | I ran a script on the teacher's computer, shut down the servers and clusters that ran my whole school's network, and ultimately ended up being suspended from school after stopping the network for a whole hour. |
t3_1ehhbq | legaladvice | Mother refuses to let father see son for 8 years. Leaves kid with grandmother to pursue a career in 'alternative filmmaking'. What rights does the father have? (Ontario, Canada) | Trying to figure out a situation for a friend. Here's what I understand.
8 years ago his girlfriend, J, had a son. At the end of the pregnancy she suddenly left, made accusations of abuse, and he never heard from her again. Over the years he has tried to serve her with papers to get the matter into court but she simply cannot be found in order to serve her.
He's just recently heard that she has recently (as in within the past year) left the boy with her mother. I do not know if the biological mom is still involved with the child's life. She is now pursuing a career in the adult film industry. The father was not consulted on this change of guardianship, and I do not believe that any legal documentation has passed hands in this matter.
Is there ANYTHING my friend can do? He just wants to be a father to his son. He has since gone on to have another child, a girl, who he went to court for custody over and won. | Friend's ex left with daughter 8 years ago. Has since left kid with grandmother, without offering custody to the father. What can he do? |
t3_sc4tk | Cooking | hey, my birthday is soon so I bought myself a steak, whats the best way to prepare it | my birthday is tuesday, ive got the little guy thawing now in the fridge . I try to avoid telling folks about the birthday because i don't like a big hullabaloo. it is a bonless ribeye. .75lb according to the package. its thawing in the fridge now. what is a good way to marinate(im partial to Worcestershire based). and I'm thinking of preparing spinach and a sweet potatoe with it as a side(raised on southern cooking). i assume I will be drinking this with a bottle of jameson whiskey (something I wanted to add to my list of for me birthday presents). advice on how I can prepare this in the most ron swansonesque way are appreciated(even though vegetables are involved). I'm kinda broke (college kid) so seasonings might be limited
I've got a grill pan and i like my steak rare, like cold in the middle.
thanks if you've managed to read this far. | whats a good way to cook a steak(3/4lb bnless ribeye) for yourself on your birthday. |
t3_vu4lg | relationships | Girlfriend and me (male) are having problems. Pregnancy Scare/ Growing Distant/ Getting Lazy... Help Please... | Well a while ago we both started to get a little distant but not that much only on some days when we text. We are in highschool almost graduated (both 17). And We've been together for a year and 7 months closer to 8 months. I love her and she does me. But recently she got scared she might be pregnant cause she is spotting.
I dont know how that could happen because I didnt even come close to cumming in her and there was little precum on me because she had given me oral and we had used a condom too but took it off because it was dry and making her raw.
Anyway... We are scared and she feels like she doesnt need to tell me much because she is irritated at how much of a hassle it is. I said this is the most important time to communicate. She said stop making me feel sorry and hate myself. She also told her parents without telling me she was and surprised me saying she did. I got pissed. any help...
I dont want to lose her. and I want her to get happy so she wont feel burdened to communicate. I know if we stop communicating good things will end quickly.. | GF and I are angry and confused about prego scare. Told her parents without discussing if we should with me. I feel like she is pushing me away. |
t3_4v1jmr | relationships | [24F] f****d-up approach to dating and relationships, does anyone feel the same way? | Where do I start?
I've struggled with perfectionism, depression & low self-esteem for as long as I can remember. (I've also had anorexia which made me spend several months in mental health facility). I know that I am not completely healthy which has its impact on my dating life and relationships.
The thing is I feel like I shouldn't be happy until my life is PERFECT and I am a perfect person. I am afraid to speak about my problems and vulnerability because I subconsciously think it makes me a bad person. I feel unlovable because I don't feel successful, educated, wealthy enough.
It always amazes me how unemployed, not pretty/handsome, uneducated etc. people find love (which makes me feel stupid and shallow and in turn makes me really dislike myself). I find it strange how people can possibly make mistakes in love & relationships department - all these unplanned pregnancies, divorces etc. - and still not resent themselves and enjoy their lives. I am hard on myself but also on others.
I feel awkward in intimate situations - without clothes, make-up and my hair done. I don't consider myself ugly, but I constantly compare myself to other women, either real or some abstract, non-existent supermodels. My confidence is pretty much non-existent too.
I have a deep rooted belief that any romantic relationship doesn't have any sense and is a waste of time (although I crave one). I believe that instead of going to dates I should take another course at the uni or extra hours at work, that work and education are only things that matter.
It is strange to write it down, but it pretty much sums up what bothers me. Can anyone relate or give me any advice on how to adapt healthier approach? Thank you in advance. | I don't have any confidence, I compare myself to others, which makes it hard to maintain relationships. I'm curious whether any of you can relate or give me any advice. |
t3_kg6ps | relationships | Should I be so destroyed? | Here's the down low: I met this girl camping earlier this summer, and we hit it off really well. She was unhappily married, and was about to move out of state to live with her husband. Anyway, we spent the whole week before she left together. She said things like "I've never been with someone that treats me as good as you" and "I've never been so happy with anyone before".
We fell hard and fast for each other. She told me that she was planning on getting a divorce and moving back, and asked if I would wait for her, and I said that I would. So two months later she's back, and unmarried. She gives me a surprise visit. I was the first to see her when she got back she told me.
Here's the kicker.. She already has a new "Man". We stayed in contact with each other while she was gone, and I had no reason to believe that she "seeing" someone else while she was making me believe that once she got back she'd be mine. So pretty much I was led on, and now I'm really disappointed, and really fucking pissed. I would like to see some opinions. I'm 26. She's 22. | Met a girl. Hit if off. She moved to divorce her husband to get with me. Then already had a new man by the time she got back. |
t3_1pftg9 | relationships | My [28M] ex gf emailed me a nude pic, not sure of the best way to bring this up with my current gf [24F], advice welcome! | So my ex gf and I have been going through a very long and drawn out breakup for a few reasons, but finally things have been getting better. The main reason is that we did have a dog together and I don't really want to be a dick and never let her spend time with him, so I am open to still communicating when it's to do with this.
In the meantime I have began a new relationship which is going quite well, however there have been a few hiccups relating to me still communicating with my ex. These have mostly been centred around her being horrible to me as she still wants us to be together, these obviously upset me and in turn my new gf gets upset that she can still have this effect on me.
Fast forward to earlier this week, the ex has been fine recently, minimal communication and nothing horrible to me at all. Then out of nowhere she sends me a nude pic. I ignored and a few days later she sent an apology.
Now I feel I must let my new gf know that she has done this, but can only see it ending badly, even though all I've done is receive a picture. I guess I am just looking for advice on how to broach this with minimal arguments!
Thanks people! | ex gf sent me a nude pic which i ignored. looking for advice on best way to tell my new gf about it. |
t3_3yxx9y | tifu | TIFU by deciding to cook NYE dinner with my boyfriend at his house. | So for NYE my boyfriend and I decided to stay in and cook a Mexican dinner together. His parents had decided to come over to visit him for NYE. We're in the middle of preps in full swing and he is trying to open a can of refried beans. The can opener gets stuck so he decides to use a swiss knife to open it. Somehow his hand slips and the next thing I see is a deep gash in the back of his hand. We thought he needed stitches, he was bleeding profusely. (He is extremely scared of seeing blood) He decides to sit down, I sit next to him and suddenly I can feel my entire body burning up. I let his parents take control of the situation and go and sit inside his room. I go back to check on him and he has passed out in the middle of the living room. The next thing I know is his mom is waking me up. Turns out I passed out too on seeing him on the floor. After I recover and go to see how he is, he is sitting relaxed on the sofa laughing at me for passing out. So basically I passed out in front of his parents, had to be woken up by his mom and therefore embarrassed myself in front of them. | Was cooking NYE dinner with bf at his house, he cuts himself, I pass out looking at him and the blood, in front of his parents. |
t3_21vmj9 | relationships | M 19 thinking of breaking up with F 18 | Hello and thanks for reading.
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years and we have great chemistry but lately I've been curious of what it's like with other girls. I've just entered into college and while we're able to still see each other, I see other girls all the time and meet new ones in classes and can't help but wonder what potential they have.
The thing with my girlfriend is that I'm a little bored of her... but it bothers me that we can't have an intellectual conversation. whenever I bring something up I generally have to always explain it to her rather than have her carry on a conversation. I feel she's a little insecure too with things. Another thing that bothers me is her family... they come off a bit as trashy. Her sister, for example is a total airhead and when I said something about Africa she replied "African people are disgusting, they don't like to wear shoes" in reference to the poverty on the continent.. Her parents spoil them too, and don't take time to punish improper behavior. kind of crappy parents..
Anyways. What do you think I should do or have any advice? | Been with my first girlfriend for almost 2 years and want to experiment because my girlfriend bores me specifically cause she can't carry an intellectual conversation. Her family is also a little trashy and low. |
t3_1wo7oc | relationships | I (26m) have been dating my boyfriend (27m) for 7 months, he's become my best friend, but the sexual attraction isn't quite there. | So, I (26m) met my boyfriend (27m) online 9 months ago and we hit it off. He wasn't the type of guy I would normally date (he's a bit overweight) but we had so much fun together. This being my first serious relationship I have been feeling a lot of things I've never felt before. He has become my best friend and I really do love him, but there's something missing in our sex life. He has repeatedly told me he's having the best sex of his life, and for me it's just ok. It's not bad, but it's not quite as hot and steamy as with some guys I'd hooked up with before him. In the past I looked for guys who were quite a bit older than me. He's also the first person I've slept with regularly.
I genuinely care about him, but I think we might work better as friends and not lovers. The problem being if I break up with him I lose my best friend... I constantly think about leaving him, but the thought of leaving him makes me nervous that I'm gonna lose something great. So, which is better to have? The friendship or the
hot sex? Am I just being shallow? | I'm best friends with my boyfriend of seven months, but he's not really my type and the sex isn't great. |
t3_3eg93o | relationships | Me [22 M] and my SO [38 F] have a problem involving her daughter [16 F] | I've had a thing for older women ever since I had a rough breakup with my high school girlfriend when I was 17. I matured a lot faster than all my friends, and I'm described at work as having the personality of a cynical old man at times, which is fine with me.
I've been with my partner now for two years. Despite the age difference, we're perfectly happy and comfortable together to the point where the things that worried me initially (like going out to dinner, or even just being together in public) no longer worry me at all and have become natural. But we are having a slight problem with her daughter [16 F].
With me only being six years older than her daughter, it's slightly awkward at times and I don't think she is very approving of our relationship. I've stumbled across a few sarcastic posts on her Facebook which are obviously about me, and of course when me and my SO first got together I was only 20, so I feel like I'm still very understanding of how teenagers think and feel. The times I've sat down and talked to her about it, she always says that she's not bothered about it and only cares about her mother being happy, but I just have this sense that deep down there is a problem that she is not opening up about, which makes me sad because I just want everybody to be happy.
I'm basically looking for advice on how to tackle this situation and hopefully make the situation better for everyone.
Thanks | I [22 M] am having slight trouble with my SO's daughter who doesn't seem very approving of our relationship. Need advice on how to hopefully improve the situation |
t3_2fggm7 | pettyrevenge | Steal my phone? Smell my fart! | (Throw away account)
Yesterday I was hanging out with a couple friends. One of them, a guy friend, (I'm female) "stole" my phone from my bag and started messing with it, trying to unlock it. I wasn't in the mood for this, so I asked for it back, he refused, and kept trying to get me to give him hints for the pass-code. (Oh, I'll *pass* something alright!)
I noticed I could fart right then, so, using a tactic that's worked well in rare and similarly petty disputes (usually with my sister) I got right to the point:
"Give me back my phone or I'll fart on you, and yes, I can right now!"
His response, hilariously, was basically that "yeah right girls don't do that haha." (Ok, now you're just asking for it.)
My other friend tried to warn him, (she's witnessed my power before,) but, like a skunk, I'd already given my warning.
I stood up next to him, turned around to "aim," and fired. Good strong "PSST!" sound, close proximity, and to my delight and his disgust, stank like hell.
Needless to say, through his grossed-outness and the threat of more to come, I got my phone back. A petty solution to a petty problem. :) | friend stole my phone, I threatened to fart on him if he didn't give it back, he didn't believe me, I proved him wrong. |
t3_3aylqr | relationships | Me [15 M] with my Parents [45/65 M/F] are calling me stupid | Alright so I got really good grades in elementary school, like at least an 85% in all my subjects or higher. Everybody knows eventually no matter how smart you are you begin to plateau, high school is when I started to plateau. I got 77-85% in my first semester and they flipped the fuck out. They always compare me to my brother who is studying in medicine in his second year university and how he got 90% in grade 9.
The second semester ended today and now I know what I got on my exams. I think I did pretty good but my parents think otherwise. I got 77-82% on all of them and right now only my dad is home and he flipped the fuck out. This is the first time any of my parents actually called me stupid. This is a bit better though now that I am actually tall, before they used to hit me but I swore that if he hit me again I would beat the living shit out of him and he did stop.
I just dont really know what to do, they think I can do better in school but I really just cant. I try but I cant meet their expectations. When I actually am studying on my computer they think Im playing games which I am sometimes but not when Im studying.
I hate how I am not meeting their expectations and also my dad threatened to not give me food tonight in which I responded I would call child services. I might just have to though because he said go ahead.
Im scared though that I might be seperated from my brother if I call child services. Who although I am being compared to a lot, still is nice to me and I only get to see him once a month. | My parents think I can do better in school when I cant, they're also threating me with no food and calling me stupid. |
t3_463tmr | relationships | I [21F] keep having dreams about my ex [30 M] but I am with someone else [20M] | All right, so, I have been dating my current boyfriend for ~5 months now. We started seeing each other in October. My ex and I broke up in August and dated for about 3 months. However, my ex and I dated before about a year ago for 7 months.
In the past couple of weeks or so I keep having these dreams about my ex. And they don't make sense. I want him back in my dreams, whether he is attached or not in the dream. This is strange because we haven't spoken since we broke up (August 2015) despite the agreement that we would. C'est la vie. Anyway.
I feel guilty for having these dreams. I have told my boyfriend about one of them and he seemed so upset that I didn't want to say anything after that. I don't know how to approach this. It feels weird, but I keep thinking about my ex more and more. | I keep having odd dreams about my ex despite being with someone else and I am too scared to tell my boyfriend because he becomes upset. |
t3_1te1rk | relationship_advice | Kind of cheated. Realized it's kinda fucked up. Please help. | A little backstory: I (16/M) met a wonderful girl (15/F) about 16 months ago. After talking for about 3 months we decided to start dating. In the first month, I cheated with another girl. Since I wasn't even sure if I liked her, I didn't feel too bad. But the next day I came clean about it and for some odd reason, she stayed. Now, during this relationship, I've a terrible fucking boyfriend. For example, flirting with other girls. But, through thick and thin, we've held together and she's been so perfect throughout this relationship. Now, obviously I don't deserve a girl this amazing, but I have her and I'm glad. Fast forward to the last month of our relationship. I was slowly losing feelings for her. It doesn't make any sense why I, a total fuckbag, would lose feelings for the most perfect girl imaginable. So I broke it off. Fast forward a month later to present time. She is still in love with me, and I still deeply care about her and enjoy spending time with her, but don't actually love her. So, i'm trying to slowly fade out of her life so I can stop leading her on. But just tonight, that same girl I cheated with before came over and we started to have sex and all of a sudden I just fucking broke down. I made her leave and started to cry harder than I ever have. I'm hyperventilating at this point and pulling out hair because I'm so angry that I just did this to a seemingly perfect girl. I want to fucking die. I realized that one night of pointless sex is not even comparable to a perfect woman ready to take care of you at a moments notice, whether it actually be sexual or just being there when I need her. I'm so angry because it took all of this to make me finally realize what I've had this whole time. I haven't told her yet. Not sure I even should because it would do nothing but hurt her. Even if for some reason she forgives me, I can't bring myself to be near her, much less date her again. I don't know what to do and would just like some advice. Sorry for the wall of text. | I had sex with a girl, feel like I did my ex-gf wrong by doing this. I want her back now, as all this has made me realize how perfect she is. |
t3_2dkrry | relationships | Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27 M] 3 months is ignoring me because I didn't thank him for paying for me. Is he being immature? | I feel a bit silly asking this but i always like to get unbiased opinions regarding certain situations.
I have been seeing a guy since May (i made a thread about him moving too fast) fast forward to last weekend where his cousins and friends organised a trip to a theme park and he asked me to come along. he bought the tickets and also paid for lunch while we were there.
the day after (sunday) i thought we were on good terms so we were texting back and forth until late in the evening when he asked me if i had enjoyed myself the previous day. i told him i had and he said he thought that perhaps i hadnt since i didnt say thank you or show any appreciation to what he had done. i felt terrible and apologised profusely to which he replied "ok" i knew he was upset and i was planning on making it up to him the next time i saw him. on monday i called him first thing in the morning and he said he was busy and that was the last i heard from him until yesterday when i sent him a message asking if everything was ok.
since we have been dating we talk every day, whether its via text messaging or phone calls so not talking to him for two days was very out of character. he replied my message saying everything was fine however he didnt have anything to say to people who didnt appreciate when he did something for them. i was honestly shocked. i asked if this meant he didnt accept my apology and he replied apology accepted. since that conversation yesterday morning things have just been awkward between us. i asked him to meet me for dinner tonight and he has agreed.
at this point i am questioning his character because if this is a man i am going to be with in the long run i would want him to be forgiving because i am sure i will do worse things than forgetting to say thank you and it just feels like he is being petty. i always say thank you and this time it slipped my mind and i am being punished for it.
am i being insensitive to think he's being silly or is he really being silly? | Boyfriend treated me to a trip to a theme park and I didn't explicitly say thank you. I apologized to him and now he is ignoring me. Is he being immature? |
t3_1w7bs9 | AskReddit | Has you ever had important items that were stolen returned to them in some galant fashion? I need your triumphs to cheer me up! | I recently had my home burglarized and only my laptop was taken in Berkeley. I used the find my Mac iCloud software to find the address was in Oakland, Ca. The cops told me to go to the location and wait outside. It was super shady. The cops arrived three hours later and told me since they couldn't get a fresh ping, I.E. the iCloud software locked my device automatically so the location couldn't be refreshed they couldn't get a search warrant.
Not only did the thieves steal my computer but my also my hope and feeling of safety in my own home. I called Apple and expressed my concerns about the utility of their find my whatever software...but I think it's purposefully janky so you'll buy more apples! At this rate, I'm gonna be Johnny fucking Appleseed over here.
Have any of you had stolen items reclaimed, I want to hear your triumphs! | Laptop got stolen, pinged in Oakland. Cops had me wait three hours to tell me they couldn't do anything about it since it hadn't pinged recently. Apple doesn't care. Have you gotten your stuff back? |
t3_12krah | self | My Dad has been an alcoholic all my life, so i have a discrimination towards drinking. This is affecting my outlook on people. | I could write a novel on how my Dad's alcoholism has affected me as a person, but i want to focus on one aspect now. Over the years my Dad has been a drinker and as a result has gotten progressively worse, resulting in us at one point losing all our money and consequently our house. Compared to most he's actually quite a tame drunk, besides coming home a complete cunt most nights, but it's affected the whole family steadily over the years and it's got to the point where both me and my sister have definitely been scarred by the whole thing. My mother's tried to keep the family together and hasn't divorced, which has only served to make the situation worse and we're barely much of a family anymore at all.
Anyway, this is all done now and there's nothing that can be done to take it all back. Being 17 and at sixth-form, everyone i know parties with alcohol which is a pretty difficult thing to deal with as a person who's built up a pretty strong hatred of the stuff based on what it's done, so i now have the problem of instantly discriminating against people based on the fact they drink. I never go to parties or get involved in alcohol which while is probably more good than bad, it's pretty much the only thing anyone i know does to socialize, which means i'm rarely involved in anything because of my aversion to indulging in all that. Last year i steadily grew apart from one of my best friends because she started to meet new people through parties that she couldn't get with me, which upset me a lot, and i also lost an opportunity to get into a new friendship group because i wasn't partaking in any of the games they played.
Now don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about not getting invited to anything as to be honest, i don't really enjoy gatherings that much anyway. **But how can i get myself over distancing myself from people because of my aversion to alcohol?** I don't want to make anyone i meet in future feel pressured by my opinion, they give me enough weird looks already, but this is a problem i'm worried will cause issues for me in the future. | I want to live as a teetotaler because of what I've seen alcohol do, but don't know how to do this without distancing myself socially. |
t3_1g0e5q | relationships | Someone [m25] came out of the woodwork that I [f22] didn't expect. | I did a study abroad program my freshman year in England and met a senior from another university in the US, but still pretty far from where mine was. We really hit it off and spent most of our time there together. There were a couple of really romantic moments between us, but I never acted on the feelings because I felt like it'd be too hard to maintain the connection once the program was over, and it didn't feel like a fling sort of thing. We did e-mail for about six months with pretty detailed updates, but never arranged to meet up. I think we were both too shy about it, or I don't know. Anyway, I'm now a senior in college and am dating a guy (for 7 months) that I really care about. Today I got an email from the guy I met in England asking how I was and to tell me he just got a job in LA (close to my university). We're just talking a bit casually, but I don't know what's appropriate to do in this situation. I feel guilty to talk to him, just because of our history, but I am really happy to catch up. I'm not sure what to do if he wants to meet up. It's something I never thought would present itself (us seeing each other again) and it's coming at a time where I'm committed to someone else. Is my excitement a sign I shouldn't be with my current boyfriend or is this a normal reaction to have? | A missed connection from several years ago is back in my life and I'm now in a relationship. Confused on how to act. |
t3_1iagpf | relationships | Me[23M] with highly compatible [19F] post first date, Overbearing | So I was talking to this girl on OKC for a few months and recently we meet up for the first time. What was originally suppose to be a quick coffee (she told me later that she originally only wanted to stay for around 30 minutes) became a five hour meet up. We hit it off so well, time flew by so quickly and so forth it was amazing, after that date we continue to chat via sms and so forth.
Last night at around midnight she messages me that she's having a panic attack and I try calling and messaging her to see if she's okay. Upon doing some research I back off since me texting her might stress her out and so forth.
So today we chat for a bit and she tells me that while I'm smart and interesting I'm being very overbearing and it's Being very outputting. I message her saying that I'm sorry, I'll give her some space and hopefully she'll give me a second chance when the time is right. After a bit of thinking unfortunately I send her a second message explaining that I've never met anyone like her, I didn't realize I was being overbearing and I hope to show her I'm not overbearing. (Maybe this was a big mistake...)
Did I screw this up? Do you ask think I could get a second chance? Now I think I'm over thinking about all this but I'd highly appreciate it if someone could give some advice or any comments in regards to this. | Chatted with girl from OKC for few months, meet up, had amazing time. She says I'm being overbearing. Did I screw up? |
t3_uckgg | AskReddit | How to deal with incompetent university office staff? | My fiancee is an international student that goes to Drexel University. She has a 5 year course, however she wanted to graduate earlier.
This is the story, instead of 5 years she applied to graduate this year which would make it 4 years (she does have all the required credits). This would also make her part time status instead of full time status. Before she changed her status she went through the effort make sure all the costs and were within her planned budget and so on.
Now, she calculated that it would be aprox. $6000~, obviously this was outside of her budget so contacted 4 office departments, including Academic Advisers, Billing Office, Financial Aid Office and International Student Services to see if her calculations were wrong. After meeting up with them they said she would only have to pay $1000~ for the next term cause she was only take 3 classes.
One month later (now), she gets a bill stating that she's required to pay $14,000. She's called all those officers again and all they can say is, "we're sorry". We even have signed documents stating that she is only required to pay $1000~ but clearly all that doesn't do shit. | 4 Different University Offices stated that she only has to pay $1000, one month later get screwed over and asked to pay $14000 which we dont have. |
t3_3dfmna | legaladvice | My ex-landlord just text me threatening legal action regarding the deposit and possible deductions. Please help (UK) | This is what he sent;
"I've heard that you have left my house in a state and that you are contesting any repairs to be deducted from the deposit. So I've taken steps to put this right by taking legal advice on the situation and make no doubt about it I will you and your mate in court where I will be claiming for time off work plus legal costs and once that's done who knows x"
We did not leave the house in a state. It was actually better then when we moved in. We went without heating for two months and reported multiple times about mould almost completely covering an entire wall in one bedroom.
The inventory was done incorrectly over two years ago. We didn't move in on the start date due to the house being in a mess still no integrity l inventory was then done after the mess had been cleared. They want to deduct a lot as well as then charge admin fees for those deductions. | agency didn't do their job and want to charge us. Landlord sends texts threaten legal actions. I'm confused and worried. |
t3_1tawfi | relationship_advice | (22/F) I have never dated anyone until now and have to ask if his (22/M) behavior is strange? | I'd love to get some opinions on the slightly strange situation I am finding myself in.
I, (22/F), have been dating a guy (22/M) for almost a month now. Let me preface this by saying were both home schooled (making us slightly awkward) and this is the first time I've ever really "dated" anyone, so I don't have past relationships to gauge this one on.
He and I just click really well, we can sit at a coffee/dinner and talk for four hours straight, he pays, he flirts, but as soon as we are getting ready to leave, he clams up. We've been out on three dates and he hasn't tried to kiss me... this defiantly made me question if *he* considered these dates. Thanks to an awkward experience last week, I know for a fact that he does consider these dates.
Last night was his brother's 21st birthday and he invited me to go to the bar with him and his family to celebrate; He picked me up at my house, we walked into the bar holding hands. He had absolutely zero problems introducing me to his parents, wrapping his arms around me, or scooting me closer to him when we were all sitting at the table. One of his brothers jokingly asked me how poor my eye sight is because I'm much prettier I am than him... he grabbed my hand and said if I'm dating him because of poor vision he hopes I never update my prescription. But despite how openly affectionate (both physically and verbally) he was in front of his family, when he dropped me off at home, he walked me to the door and all I got was a hug, a good one... but still just a hug.
Is it weird that he has no qualms showing me off to his family, yet when we are alone he doesn't seem to want to move past the hugging zone? | Awkward girl is dating an awkward boy who has no problem acting like we've been dating for years in front of his family, but when we are alone, he shows no desire to do more than just hug me. |
t3_2t6230 | tifu | TIFU by playing ice ice baby in the middle of an exam. | This happened about an hour ago, and I'm so freaking embarrassed.
Earlier this morning one of my friends told me she had never heard the song ice ice baby, so I played it for her on my phone. We had to go to class before the song was over so I just paused it, still at full volume. My next block was AP Bio, where we had our midterm exam. In the middle of the exam,I pull out my phone to find an answer I didn't know while the sub wasn't looking. As soon as I turn it on "Ice Ice Baby" blares though the classroom. Everyone started to laugh their damn heads off. Luckily the sub was chill, and he just told me to turn it off. | forgot I had ice ice baby on full volume paused on my phone, tried to cheat on midterm, song played during exam. |
t3_3l1nzl | tifu | TIFU by duct taping my girlfriends room to the roof | SO i thought this would be a cool prank,
Having seen mythbusters i thought it would be funny to tape everything in my girlfriends room to the ceiling of her room , So basically it looked like walking into an upside down room.
My friend helped me get everything up onto the ceiling, e.g. desks whilst i stuck everything down, It was a perfect plan, Fast forward an hour, she returns from her first day of Uni, Walks upstairs whilst me and my friend begin to smirk.
She shouts both our names and we walk upstairs laughing, She states "do you think this is funny? how am i gonna get this shit down?" To which she then slammed the door.
Move on a couple of mins we here a loud bang, then another. Turns out ducttape isn't super sticky on old paint. so now im sat in the ER with her in a bed recovering from being hit on the head with a desktop pc. | Ducttaped GF's room to ceiling, Pc hit her on head, Sat in ER waiting to receive a total asskicking. |
t3_34pe3o | askwomenadvice | Need Some Female Advice [Friendzone] | It started last year, when I met her. A friend introduced me to her and some other people, and we became a very close group of friends. We hang out every weekend. I found her very attractive, and I still do, but I didn't wanted to make a move, because I was afraid that it would make me look like a creep. But after a few weeks she started flirting with me. I didn't really paid attention to it, and kind of ignored it, cause she is the type of girl that would do that stuff as a joke. We had a connection that was closer then we had with the other friends. After a few months she still flirts with me, but I stayed realistic and ignored it to protect myself from being hurt. And now we're half a year further, and I think I like her, I have feelings for her. So I looked back at all the flirting she did with me, and realised that she has/had feelings for me. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle fitted together.
Unfortunately our connection is a little bit less, than we used to have, so I don't know if she still likes me. If I decide by the signs she gives at parties, she likes me. But if I decide by the signs she gives me at normal evenings, I'm not so sure about it. I also found out recently that's she is talking and is texting, a lot I guess, with a friend/colleague of mine. Which makes the whole situation even worse....
I just don't no what to do, it drives me crazy, is she playing "Hard to get" or is she just not interested any more.
One day I'm happy, and the other 6 days I'm depressed..... | Friend I have a crush on, had/still has crush on me, found out about it, don't now if it's to late. |
t3_36oma8 | relationships | My (23f) boyfriend (26m) of 1 year lost his trust in me and doesn't know if he can be with me anymore. How can I make things right? | So I can be a little bit batshit insane. I'm insecure as fuck, have anxiety and I'm constantly worrying about everything. I'm medicated, and am very self aware and rational most of the time and do try quite hard to manage my issues.
Basically I got it into my head that my boyfriend was going to break up with me one night. He was out and I was suddenly worried and it snowballed until I was crying and being completely pathetic. I went onto his social media and checked his messages to try and find some reassurance so I didn't have to phone him while he was out with friends. I found a message in which he was telling someone that "all women suck" and I felt the need to inquire of the context right away. It turned out to be irrelevant to me. And now it is a month down the line and he is still furious that I went through his messages.
I've apologized, tried to explain how my anxiety manifests while still taking responsibility but he says he doesn't think he can get past this. He wants to work on us but as it stands there is admittedly a huge possibility that he is going to break up with me.
I feel completely broken. I don't know how many more days I can go to work not knowing. This is the only person I've ever properly pictured a future with, and it was up until now, the best relationship I've ever been in. I don't know how I can get his trust back. He says there isn't a way for me to fix this. I know that what I did was wrong, but I really want to get past it. I don't even know if I want advice. I'm lost. I've been crying constantly and can't concentrate on anything. I just need this to work. I need someone to tell me what to do. | broke the trust of the love of my life and now he doesn't know if I'll be able to ever regain it. Uncertainty ruining my life, desperately want this relationship to work. Help. |
t3_2x1pfc | relationships | Fiancée (26/F) and I (25/M) had a fallout with our friends (26/M & 25/F) they were supposed to be in our wedding and now we don't know what to do. | My friend and his wife, let's call them Jack and Jill have been our best friends for the last 5 years. Jack is supposed to be my best man and Jill is a bridesmaid. My fiancée and I are getting married this October. Our friendship has had its ups and downs but recently things have headed further south and we had a major fallout. I'm not going to get into details, if it would help with any advice I would be glad to type it out, but things don't seem like they are going to be fixed anytime soon or if ever. Shit hit the fan last night and emotions were out of control. What started out as a great night turned into lots of yelling, crying and then they just left without saying a word. Lots of previous issues were brought up, insecurities, accusations, jealously, etc.
The uncertainty of if we will ever talk to our friends again or if we could even consider them friends really makes for an awkward situation for our upcoming wedding. This situation was brewing for awhile and after what was said last night I don't think there is any going back. I thought we were putting everything past us, working through our issues as a group, but I digress.
Anyway, now what are we supposed to do with the wedding planning in regards to the wedding party? Jill already got her dress and the groomsman were all going to get fitted next week. As much as it hurts to think of cutting out our friends I'm afraid they may have already done that to us. Should I try and talk to Jack? Should I let him reach out to me? I have no clue on what my next move should be. We don't want to lose them but sometimes there isn't much you can do. Please help! | Had a huge fight/fallout with our best friends who are in our wedding. Not sure if we can reconcile and not sure how to proceed. |
t3_2t0ayt | tifu | TIFU by buying a textbook for a class that I already owned. | I feel like the biggest idiot right now.
So, it's been about three weeks since the new semester started, and I had been holding off on buying one of my textbooks until I was able to find a cheap used copy of it. I never did, at least none that weren't far away, so today I finally trekked to the campus bookstore and bought the textbook I needed.
I walked into the store, guy's like, "Hi, may I help you?" I'm like, "Yeah! I'm looking for a microeconomics textbook?" I told him the author and he showed me the book. I picked it up and brought it to the checkout, and then I was distracted by finding out that one of my friends works there, so I didn't really pay attention to what I was buying.
I put the book in my backpack and didn't look at it again until now, when I brought it up to my room to study from. That's when it dawned on me... I picked up the WRONG BOOK. I already have a copy of this EXACT textbook from my Intro to Microeconomics class last semester. What I actually needed to buy was the MACROeconomics textbook, which has a similar cover, is the same edition and is by the same author and publisher.
I'm just hoping that I can return it. My macroeconomics class is at 8 AM tomorrow morning so I'm planning to go as soon as the bookstore opens (which is probably 8, so I'll be late to my class, but whatever really) and see if I can return the book. It's still in the plastic wrap, but I may not be able to since it has a code for an online thing within the packaging and books with e-learning materials can't always be returned, even if they haven't already been opened. :/ If I can't return it, I just paid $160 for something I don't even need. | Procrastinated on buying textbook for a macroeconomics class. Went to bookstore, wasn't paying attention, picked up microeconomics textbook instead. I already own the microeconomics textbook. |
t3_4rb04v | relationships | Me[19M] with Ex-Girlfriend(?)[19F]. Talking about getting back together but she may have sleep with others. How do to get over this? | Hi /r/relationships, a couple months ago my girlfriend of a bit more than a year and I broke up due to faults on my half. We recently begun talking about the possibility of getting back together and I don't know how to get over the fact that she most likely slept with other people during the time in between.
I realize that she is single and free to do whatever she wants. She is free to sleep with whoever she wants. She has no need to tell me anything about what she has done during that time.
But how do you get over this?
Especially since the window was so small in my opinion. Should I ask to confirm whether she has or not, or is ignorance bliss and try to move forward without knowing?
How can I stop myself to dwelling on what she's done during this time? | Gf and I broke up and we are talking about working things out but she may have slept with others. How to deal with the situation? |
t3_1hb5ic | needadvice | Car troubles, no idea. So fucked. (20 f, if it matters) | Okay basically last night my boyfriend and I were driving up to his house when we went on a small bump on the highway. A bump I've gone over so many times before, but this time something happened. All the lights went on, it stopped working and I pulled over. Then white smoke started coming out of my car. I had it towed to my usual mechanic which fortunately was only 1 mile farther than the 4 miles that AAA covers, who called me this morning to tell me that basically the engine exploded. I'm not kidding you, the engine *exploded*.
Apparently there is shrapnel everywhere and it's just ruined. The entire interior of the car is ruined. This car is new for me, it's a 2000 Subaru Outback that I got a few months ago. The car has been in collisions before, but was repaired. The timing belt was replaced and all maintenance in the car was up to date. Both the mechanic and I were completely at loss for words for what the fuck exactly happened to my poor car. Neither of us know.
The mechanic says for a couple hundred dollars I could take it to an auto MD where they diagnose what happened with my car, and possibly take the shop who did the initial repairs when I purchased the car to court if there is a reason for this malfunction. I'm still paying off a loan for car repairs though, so if I take it to the shop and there is no case I'm in the hole quite a significant amount of money while still paying off my loan for a car that doesn't even work. And before you suggest it, my parents are out. I called them this morning telling them what happened and they just said "yeah no, we're not helping you."
So at this point I have no idea what to do. | Car's engine exploded, could possibly be investigated and taken to court. Little money and no where to get it while paying off loans. No idea what to do, is killing myself a viable option? |
t3_3aweq1 | relationships | Me [22F] with my employer. Offered to make their website for free but they are asking for too much. How can I ask them to compensate me? | I'm working at this family business and helping them create a website for free (my job is nowhere related to tech.) They asked me how much I'd charge but I said I did not need compensation for the website as long as they pay for hosting because I was just thinking of a very simple website. Now they are asking for quite an elaborate website and the discussions of what they need about the website take hours after my shift which I am not getting paid for. Would it be too petty of me to ask for compensation now? If so, what's the best way to talk to them? I'm not happy making this the site anymore due to all the time that I have to invest at home + discussion time. Should I just suck it up and wrap up the site for free? | Offered to make a website for a family business for free but now it's taking too much of my time (unpaid.) Is it moral to ask for compensation now? |
t3_3uqi91 | relationships | Me [18M] with a [18F] Reading Signs Dilemma | [18M] here. I've been interested in this specific girl in school [18F] and am wondering if she's flirting or just talking? We've been talking for a while now, through snapchat, texts, and a class i have with her. Nothing really intimate, or really deep, just casually talking.
I'm not sure how to take it a step further, any tips on that?
But back to the real topic. She's been sending some snaps of her without a shirt just above her breasts so i wouldn't see them, and a few which made her cleavage (bra) the slightest noticeable. This doesn't happen often at all, it probably has a handful of times, a few others being when she sent a snap of her in a bra. She's also asked me to visit her at work, although that hadn't worked out, and so yeah.
She's not really pursuing into me, barely texting, not really deep convos, and scattered snapchats/texts overall. It seems like she cares to some extent and wants to hook up per say but then doesn't another day? Like she's throwing her hook out there and i'm not grabbing it? idk, any advice on how to grab the hook or read them better.
Some days she doesn't even respond/doesn't reply, and that sorta hurts. Guess i'm taking it too seriously. I want to emphasize that i'm not looking for any kind of relationship, just trying to read the signs and see where to go from there. She's a nice girl and i'd like to know her better, but need to know which paths to take and how.
Thank you. | Girl sending few pics of herself in a bra/even naked (without showing breasts), what does that mean? It barely happens and she's only done it twice, so... |
t3_1l1i58 | self | I just went to my first dance at 19! | Its 11:10 PM, I got back at 10:50 after 2 hours of dancing with little water. My legs hurt and I'm probably not going to be able to move in the morning. I was a tree stump. I shook my hips and arms, but I didn't ever move my feet off the floor. I hope I can be a better dancer in the future.
I have social anxiety and depression and when you think of forever alone, I'd be the first image to come to mind. I'm a sophomore at a tiny university of ~4000 and most people don't even acknowledge me in the hallways.
I saw a famous comedian here at 8 with my roommate and friend (who I've known since 5th grade). Afterwards, he went back to the dorm, sitting alone and playing on his computer. I could have done the same, but I knew that I had to be brave. I skipped the dance last year and went home depressed and cut myself. I can't do that again. I just couldn't.
I went to the dance *completely alone.*
At the dance, I met a cool dude who I pretty much hung out with the whole time. We danced with a circle of girls, mostly. At times I got boxed out (because I'm ugly, a stranger, and a creeper) or felt alone but I kept on moving.
There was even a time when the circle broke up and it was just me and this other girl. I just smiled and asked,
> How are you doing?
>> Good, how about yourself?
> Good
> Are you a freshmen?
It was the freshmen dance... I'm such an idiot...
>> Yeah
> Cool, I'm a sophomore.
And that is where the conversation stopped. I don't use the word but **cringey as fuck** is appropriate. I'm still proud of myself for having the courage to talk to someone else!
For the last 30 or so minutes, I started to feel like I wasn't being included anymore so I decided to walk back to my dorm. I saw my friend, alone, watching a video of Saints Row IV.
**That could have been me. I'm so happy for myself. | Went to my first dance alone, danced my ass off with a friend for 2 hours, started to feel isolated so I left, still satisfied, though, It was actually pretty fun. |
t3_36g7pj | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of over a year. I don't feel like I love her anymore. | I'm at a crossroads it seems. She loves me a lot and goes out of her way for me, and even understands me more than anyone else. But as of lately, I just don't feel the same for her. I do not want to hurt her at all, but I cannot think of a good way to break it off. She pours everything she has into this relationship which is making everything so much harder. I even tried taking her to the beach earlier this year in hopes that it would change my outlook on the relationship, but it hasn't. I'm not sure if I just don't want to be in the relationship, or if it's just a phase, but I don't know what to do. Any advice at all is appreciated. | Girlfriend loves me a lot but I don't feel the same way. Not sure what to do at this point. |
t3_iz6wr | jobs | We just interviewed 2 people for the same position. Candidate A looked stronger on paper, but Candidate B got hired because of appearance and attitude. | Background: We're hiring for a part-time temp admin position. Our company has business casual dress code, but more on the business side. Also, there's a heat wave (relevant).
Candidate A: Previous experience working in our company doing admin work, has good references from our company with a different department. She shows up wearing a nice ruffled tanktop with drawstring clamdigger type pants, and sport sandals. Erm, no. Despite having worked at our company before, she appears unsure of her organizational skills ("um, I guess I could figure it out"), and is more concerned about the work hours than the actual job tasks. She does not show enthusiasm for anything that we have spoken about during the interview.
Candidate B: Some experience doing admin stuff in other companies, but never in our industry. She is wearing a long skirt, dress shoes, short-sleeved blouse, and cardigan. She admits to not having any experience in our industry, but she seems happy to learn and is excited about working at our company ("I'm familiar with your company's reputation and have had family members use your services, so even though I have no experience, I figured I would just give it a shot and get some experience doing part-time work with you."). | Be positive and you'll always get the gig over someone who's an uninterested sad sack. Also, DRESS APPROPRIATELY. |
t3_1hnltt | relationships | Is it reasonable for me (f,21) to expect my fiance (m,22) of 2 years to fulfill all of my emotional needs? | Is it unreasonable for me to expect my fiance to fulfill all of my emotional needs? For example, should it hurt my feelings if my fiance says his mother is a better cook than me? Or should it bother me if he doesn't think I'm the best at what I consider myself to be good at? Am I looking for too much encouragement or praise from him?
My point of view is, if I can't expect my fiance (soon to be husband) to think I'm awesome at something or the best who can I expect to give me unlimited encouragement/boost my self-esteem? He does give me compliments and make me feel special sometimes but at times I feel like as much as I try, its never good enough. | Is it unreasonable for me to expect my fiance (soon to be husband) to fulfill all of my emotional needs/tell me I'm the best at something? |
t3_3vpudb | relationships | Please help! I [16F] want to cut ties with my toxic family as soon as I turn 18. How can I achieve this? | ** **Note**: I'm going to put "family" in quotation marks because, honestly, we are anything but. But they are my biological "family", unfortunately.
**Background:**
I am currently a junior in high school. Technically, when I graduate I'll only be 17. However, only a little while after that, I'll turn 18.
I don't want to get into specifics of my situation with my family because I have friends that use Reddit and I don't want to cause alarm. But to get an idea of what I'm dealing with, I've been physically harmed by every single member of my immediate "family" at least once (including me, we are a "family" of 5. I am the youngest. I'm currently fine, though for those who may be concerned). This is just one of many other things, there's also emotional abuse.
**Issue at hand:**
I've read countless stories on here and other corners of reddit about how people were able to move out and get away from their families as soon as they turned 18. I need to be able to do this.
How do I plan this out? How do I become financially independent from my parents? How would I pay for college? If any of you have successfully done this, can you share with me how you did this?
*Please* help me Reddit, I don't know how to do this on my own. | I want to move out and cut contact with my "family" when I turn 18. How do I go about doing this? |
t3_2auvlf | tifu | Tifu by getting my breathalyzer extended in my car for 6 months. | I'm writing from an iPhone so be patient with spelling, and grammar, ect.
In 2011, I was convicted of DUI in Arizona. I had a whole but of court ordered requirements to complete in a certain amount of time, which I thought I completed. We'll yea I was wrong. In march 2014 I go to get my PA license renewed only to find out I have to get a breathalyzer for 12 months installed in my car. I was pissed but understood that this is no one else's fault but mine. I have had the breathalyzer for 4 months now and everything is going good. I have completely stopped drinking for sometime now and don't plan on drinking again. The company who administers the breathalyzer informed me I can fail 5 times a month. So my buddy is getting a load on and I jokingly say to him let's see what your BAC is. I let him blow into it and it's a .25 which is two times above legal limit. We laugh it off and go back to hanging out . I think nothing of it until today when I received a letter from the Arizona. The letter is instating that I have blown twice above the legal limit and my breathalyzer is now extended and extra 6 months. | let friend blow into breathalyzer in car, he blew two times above legal limit and I now have breathalyzer for 18 months. |
t3_2z0hnb | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 2 years, just broke up and in a very complicated, cheating situation. | I'm in a tricky situation because this all happened within the last 24 hours.
I've had my suspicions about my girlfriend and her work colleague (M) for a while. Last night I saw the text messages that confirmed my suspicions. They were both out and drunk earlier in the week and texted each other when they got home and admitted to one another that they liked each other.
I saw these horrific text messages last night and I just broke down. After a while, I confronted her about it and she admitted it. There were plenty of tears and we tried to solve it, but she's not happy. I told her I can forgive her and work on our relationship, but she would have to do the same and tell her colleague to back off completely. I'm not sure if she will do this or not.
She thinks I'll never trust her again and the relationship won't ever be fixed. I love her so much and I have always worked hard for it and I think I could make her happy again and make it work. She was a mess whilst we argued about this and she cried and said that she didn't deserve me, etc. Despite that, we are not together anymore, because she's so unhappy. And this has made me incredibly unhappy.
How should I proceed with this, bearing in mind how strong my feelings are for her? | Girlfriend texts colleague a lot, admits to him that she likes him. I find out, we argue and break up. I am devastated and I want her back more than anything. |
t3_27qv7t | relationships | Did I [19 F] make a mistake with him [24 M] two weeks, differing opinions leading to me feeling used. | So I entered a casual relationship with a guy a few weeks ago. We would meet up at my place, have sex, cuddle and talk, and that was pretty much the extent of our relationship. When we weren't together, he would constantly text me, saying he was thinking about me, that I was sexy, gorgeous, and all the things he wanted us to do together.
Today he came over after work, and we had dinner, and sex. After he left for home, he texted me explaining that he can't do this anymore, that he needs a full relationship, and that he is an asshole for doing this.
I was blown away, completely blindsided, I did not see this coming at all. But even though our relationship was based on sex, I felt a large attraction to him, and told him that if that is what he was looking for, that I would like to date him.
He disagreed completely, saying that he wasn't the guy for me. I feel very used, and that I made a huge mistake.
Do casual relationships ever really work, or are they doomed to fail from the start? Is there something I should have done instead? I just needed a place to vent, so I would like to hear your opinions and advice. Thanks Reddit! | entered a casual sex-based relationship, and after having sex a few times, guy says he cant do this, and needs a real relationship, but doesn't want to date me. |
t3_4of8qx | relationships | I [21 M] want to break up with my girlfriend [23 F] of 9 months because I don't see us having a future together. Feel really conflicted though. | So, a little relationship background. I go to college in a city about 3 hours away from my home town and at the beginning of this last school year my girlfriend and I met on tinder.
Things went really well at first and we made things official after about a month. We had some bumps along the way and almost broke up a couple times but always made up in the end and we've been pretty happy together.
Now however I'm home for the summer and 3 hours from her because she lives in my college town with her parents. She's been talking about me going to grad school near her and us living together, but now that I'm in my hometown I've realized I like it much better here and would like to go to grad school near my family. She works at a salon though and wants to open her own in her hometown because that's where her client base is so she wouldn't move with me if I went to school somewhere else.
We also have a lot of differences in interests and can't really have in depth conversations about the things I'm passionate about because she cares little for them and won't really make an effort to learn when I mention it.
I see these things as big problems down the road and think that it'd be best for us both if we broke up now as opposed to later so we aren't wasting each others time.
My issue with this lies in the fact that she's really awesome. She's a very compassionate and caring person who treats me well and I have a very difficult time hurting people, especially those who dont deserve it.
So knowing I don't see myself having a future with her but also knowing that she's so great makes ending things really rough and I have no idea how to go about it. But I am certain that I'd be happier in the long run if we weren't together. Any advice? | I don't see myself having a future with my girlfriend but she's really great and I can't seem to justify leaving her because of that. What do I do? |
t3_2nzsrj | askwomenadvice | Can I get a woman's point of view on my situation | My ex of 4 years broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago because she said "It felt like it doesn't even matter if I was in your life or not" I stopped giving her my attention like I used to which was true I began to get comfortable. I did the entire do's and don'ts of break ups like beg, cry etc.
So I began NC, did it for 5 weeks I went to talk to her it was little weird at first but then it was ok small chats I tried to become her friend again, At one point I asked if I'm a nuisance talking to her she told me far from it I thought things was going great. Then one day during the week after NC she asked me do I really want to be her friend I lied and said yea. She said how can you go from being madly in love with someone to being just friends she told she doesn't feel happy talking to me all she feel is pain and anger. She told how her anger is building up so much just talking to me right now.
I tried to explain lets work it out and be friends but she wasn't hearing it. So I ask her two questions do you still think about me and will you block me from whatsapp. For the first questions she refused to answer then she agreed to unblock me from whatsapp.
I haven't talked to her since then for 4 weeks now, I want to give this one shot. During NC I got myself together dated partied bettered myself but I still miss her, I'm at the point that if she rejects me I can deal with it and get over it yea I will be little hurt and upset but not like the first time.
What I really need advice on is taking her to dinner. What I have planned is sending her 24 roses with an note just saying "Dinner?". I'm not putting her on the spot and if she doesn't want to talk she wont reply. Figure it's best if i get a woman point of view on my situation | Trying to make things right, is sending my ex flowers and her favorite chocolates with a note saying "Dinner?" the right move or would you recommend a different approach? |
t3_113uyl | dating_advice | I [21M] am getting much closer to a friend [20F] than intended, she's in a failing relationship and I didn't think I was interested in her. Don't know what to do. | Her boyfriend and her are on a break and all she seems to do is complain about his ineptitude in practically anything. Last night we were drunk and got a bit flirty, and we ended up sharing her bed. By the morning we were alarmingly closer and more touchy-feely than before and since I left hers she's been messaging me constantly all day trying to get me to go back.
The part where I feel awful is that I've been specifically mocking her as an undesirable candidate for about a year with my roommate, and even know he's continuing it and I don't want to be the one that stops him. He knows about last night but he promised to not spread it based on the sheer amount of stuff I have on him.
On top of this I feel like I'm facilitating her too much when I don't know what I want, and she said something to said roommate along the lines of "I think I'm falling for X" and it made me pretty uncomfortable to hear that from him.
And the final part that's irritating me is that her roommate is an irritating cunt so if I decide that I do want to be with her I have to deal with that attention-seeking shithead and that feels like a big deal to me.
Anyone got any advice for me? Or any other perspectives to look at this from? This has been a pretty alarming day and I feel like my brain has fried. | Got close to a girl I didn't ever imagine I would for shallow reasons. Really don't know how to go about this with how my friends perceive her and my opinion regarding her. Also feel like I'm fucking someone else over. |
t3_3xkphs | relationships | Is my relationship with my boyfriend going south? | Mine [20f] and my boyfriends [19m] relationship has been going on strong for almost 4 years now. Or so I thought, because lately I have noticed distance between us. My boyfriend suffers from depression, and he also has the type of personality that wants to be alone most of the time. However, I am the polar opposite, I love spending time with him. I enjoy talking to him every day. (not in an obsessive way, but in a normal girlfriend way)
And unfortunately, I've noticed that the only real friend I have is him. So when he wants to be alone, I usually get pushed to the side. And as much as I understand his need to be by himself I just can't stop thinking its something I did.
And yesterday he admitted to me that he sometimes feels like he doesn't want me as a girlfriend anymore. But he sleeps it off and he changes his mind. He claims its his depression messing with him, but of course I blame myself.
I just want to make it work, I want to continue what we have. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and I don't know how to fix this if I can.... | My long term boyfriend and I are struggling keeping our relationship together because of his distant personality, and I am wanting to find a way to find a balance and make it work again. |
t3_hd1rb | AskReddit | Just figured out my life, tell me what you think please | So, Im a high school junior, my dream is to move to colorado one day and live there, but my current situation is keeping me in NJ at least until I finish college. I eventually want to become a doctor but ive made a plan to enjoy my younger years a little bit more. Instead of going to an expensive university I am going to go to go to a county college for two years. After that I will get certified to be a paramedic(I became an EMT when I was 16 so it wont be a problem). Hopefully I can get a job in Colorado where I will live for 2-3 years on paramedic salary and enjoy my life, snowboarding, longboarding, mountain climbing etc... After I've decided im ready to continue my education I will enroll in a 4 year college and get my BS degree. If I do well enough I will go to med school and become a doctor, If not I am content with any job I could get with a BS in biology/ biomedical engineering. | After high school: 2 years in county college -> paramedic in colorado 2 years -> return to gollege get BS degree-> hopefully med school & doctor. |
t3_37sujn | relationships | I (22M) feel like my gf (24F) is wasting her time with me | First the good part - we have a wonderful relationship. No complaints. She is amazing. We get along great. She is very hardworking and very loving. There is absolutely nothing to complain about in terms of how the relationship is going now.
**However**, I feel like I am wasting her time with me. I feel like the relationship is good now, but I do not want kids before I turn 30. By that time, she will be 32 and with each year she gets older, pregnancy becomes more and more complicated.
My reasoning is that I need to have a stable life before I have kids. I am 22 right now, I have 2 years left till I finish my bachelors degree. Then I plan on doing a masters. So by the time I finish my studies, I will be around 26-27. Add 3 more years to gain a financial security before having kids, and I'll probably be ready to have kids when I'm no less than 30. My girlfriend is expecting to have kids in her late 20s, so in roughly 4-5 years. I cannot do that.
Already her giving birth at 32 is kind of pushing the limit for me. I feel like a woman should optimally have a kid around 27 if she's been in a relationship long enough.
That's pretty much *all* it boils down to. She knows my stance on kids, but kind of brushes it away when we speak about it. I feel like I should end the relationship because her time to find someone and have kids with him is running out. | girlfriend wants kids in about 4 years, however I won't be ready for kids till at least 8 years from now. |
t3_g6o1b | needadvice | I have AS. I'm having a panic attack because my plans with a FWB isn't working out. | I have Asperger's. Basically I overreact when things I planned don't go as planned.
I've been having trouble in my life, because I do not have a job or go to school currently. I live by myself. I have way too much free time and I'm not keeping as busy as I should. I'm in a smalltown newfoundland. It's pretty isolated and friendships are few. Managed to make friends with a few people.
The problem is, that I'm having a panic attack because my friend can never visit me for more than an hour. It's a 'friends with benefits' situation so I probably have strong emotions for him too. Anxiety (and other factors) prevents me from being around him and his partner. So I don't see him as often as I know I should. | my plans didnt work out and I don't want to spend the weekend by myself depressed and anxious again. Just phoned friend and got really upset when he said he can only come over for an hour. |
t3_1lk60e | dating_advice | Need help asking someone out, just turned 17M, 17F | Ok first time poster, long time reader of Reddit, and this has been burning me for a while now, hoping wisdom of /r/dating_advice can help me.
So I've met this girl that I really like and have been wanting to ask out for a significant amount of time now, and have in fact asked her out twice already, however both times the event has been ambushed, first time it turning into a party/gathering with a fair amount of people, and even more prying eyes, and the second time turning into what might more likely belong in /r/porn with the summary of the night being; three guys one girl.
So now I stand waiting for a way to ask this girl out. And it's not a question of whether I like her or not - I can't even describe how I feel about this girl; simply brings light to my day, but now I don't know how to ask her out. I've been on two short throwaway flings before, both lasting less than two months, and both were brought to an end mutual agreement. I wasn't nervous asking them out but when it comes to this girl I feel extremely nervous and lacking a lot in confidence, which is becoming more frustrating because i feel the "nice guy" syndrome is starting to apply to me.
So here is my question - I've blabbed on long enough - How would someone lacking confidence, partly because of character and partly because of the nature of how the first two "dates" ended up, ask one of the girl he's met whom he feels he can create genuine relationship out of? | Guy with confidence issues, but has dated before needs help asking out Girl who he actually has proper feelings for. HALP |
t3_2dqgmb | needadvice | 19, no friends, skills, or discipline. How do I become, well functional? | I honestly was debating putting this in /r/depression - Because I am, and they generally are there to also give advice towards this type of thing, but hopefully it's okay here.
All my life I kind have been babied, my mother has done everything for me and generally my brother has done everything that she could not have done. I was heavily debating even writing this but I decided I'd see what happens. I don't have friends, and recently both of my parents more or less have been given only months to live due to different medical issues.
I never had a job, or any higher education. I never really even done normal chores (although I'm sure I could) such as dishes/laundry before. My family is pretty poor and I don't know how to drive. I got a permit doing the writing test but to say the least, I didn't do good when I actually tried driving with my dad. Now he is in the hospital and I can't really try learning anymore.
I don't even know where to begin on getting a job, and that is provided I'd actually take a bus or walk there, much less actually apply for it. Part of me knows I need to start getting stuff in order, I'm depressed, yet the other part of me just doesn't want to do anything. I'm overweight and I'll take walks on a very good day but that doesn't happen often. I'm not sure what exactly I'm asking for here myself, that's why I was debating on putting it in /r/depression but I hope it's okay here, if not I can delete and move it. I'm just wondering is there anything or anywhere I can go to get my life straightened out? | I lack basic skills, education, friends, and discipline. Part of me knows I need this, the other part of me doesn't really care. Is there anyone that knows what I should do at this point? |
t3_f5e72 | AskReddit | Does the environment dictate culture or does culture dictate the environment? Which way SHOULD it be? | I need some help in understanding this concept.
so my speech teacher says that environment should dictate the way that we talk. She said that if you were eating at your house with your parents then the conversation would be different from a conversation at a public restruant (which I disagree with). She said that your family would be more quiet, out of consideration for other people, and talk less about personal things (because people around you don't want to hear it). Then she said that the situation would be very different if you were with a group of your friends (agreeable). She said everyone is more inclined to speak loudly and not care about who overhears what disgusting things you say. She then went on to say that was a HUGE problem in communication, because people should respect the environment and make choices according to their environment.
When I asked her why her overhearing some teenager's uninteresting story was such a HUGE problem to her she said that when people don't respect the environment people get their feelings hurt and retalliate by killing or hurting people (that's seriously what she said). When asked what evidence she had to back it up with she said there were plenty of studies to uphold her argument (although she couldn't give me any of the names). I told her that at a bar the environment is already shady to begin with because of the kind of people associated with the bars, plus the alcohol and its effects on people. She said that that wasn't true not all bars are like that and that Chilli's was a perfectly nice place if people would act accordingly to the environment.
I couldn't continue because she was so mad at me by that point she made me leave the room. I want to have some research or anything so that I can come back tomorrow and slap her across the face with my dick made of strong arguments to the point that she realizes that she is just being a whiny baby about the whole thing.
please help by stating your opinion, and if you know any research on the subject let me know. | Whiny teacher thinks that you should act according to where you are not according to who you are with because she doesn't want to overhear loud youg'ns talking about gross things while she eats. |
t3_12kjvd | travel | Almost 5 thousand $. In Europe, need to find ways to extend this money until july. Details inside, help needed! | Situation -
Canadian, 18 years old, living with relatives in Germany, spending hardly any money here, been here for 3 weeks.
I can stay here for as long as i want, leave and come back, etc.
My plan - travel Europe/UK as much as possible, come back here when i need breaks.
Their plan FOR ME - i go to school here (i dont speak german), i work here (still dont speak german), and then go travel in july.
So basicallly i have almost 5 grand (Canadian dollars), and i want to see as much of Europe/UK as possible for as little as possible, and i want to be here as long as possible.
My ideas - wait till february to travel (planned a trip to england with some buds from the uk) , travel around england then, come back to germany and plan my next trip.
Until then, i don't know what i am doing, currently i sit inside all day making music (electronic music), but my relatives think i do shit all and don't like me doing that.
So basically i need to find something to do in Germany, (outside of Osnabruck) which costs me no money, and keeps me occupied.
And i need to plan trips around europe/uk for the next few months, CHEAP TRIPS.
I really don't know what i'm asking, i just want to know some peoples opinions on this, as i would love to travel around right now, but i dont want to waste my money. | in europe, need to show my aunt and uncle im not a lazy ass by finding something to do (other than work and school), and need to save money for travelling. |
t3_4a4rf4 | relationships | Me (26m) at a loss with my (25f) wife of 6 years. Need advice/pointers to bring marriage out of the dumps. | Me and my wife have been having problems what seems like every week.
An example of what our most recent was today she's upset that I played a game on ps4, haven't played all week, she's tired of telling me that I play too much? And she doesn't feel genuinely loved or appreciated and she's lonely and doesn't have any friends she can just hang out with.
Now this has been happening so often I'm emotionally drained I literally can't bring myself to care and I don't know how to fix it. Divorce isn't an option but I'm at my breaking point it seems like. | emotionally drained from wife always being upset, can't seem to care about her issues. What can I change about myself or suggest to her to help us not repeat this next week? |
t3_12tsts | AskReddit | How do I give the girl I started seeing tips on how to satify me without hurting her confidence? | So I went out with this girl and we slept together on the first date (oops.) But I like her and she likes me. We've gone out a few other times and she is really nice! We have not defined the relationship yet but that talk is probably coming up in like a week or two.
However, there is a clear difference in or level of sexual skill. Generally when I start new relationships I am nervous so it takes me ages and considerable effort to come. It's not a big deal to me I usually expect not to climax my first couple times with someone new. I usually try to make up for this by complementing them and being extra vocal. But I could tell she was distressed. Despite my initial problems I know that what she is doing now is not going to cut it later when I am more relaxed.
I also seem to have a very easy time getting her to come. I guess I am lucky that my usual routine is what she needs. But I can tell this is kind of adding to her stress.
Most of the time I am open and direct but I feel that telling her how I work may overwhelm her with intimacy. We started out fast and I don't want that to be more of a problem.
I happen to think I know exactly how she could change what she is doing to make things work for me but I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel inadequate. | New relationship. She can't make me come. I know how she can. I don't want to hurt her confidence. |
t3_fucy9 | relationships | Being the first girlfriend - how do you teach guys how to treat girls? Is this just a symptom of the situation or something deeper? | I don't know if this is just me but I've dated 3 guys for whom I have been their first girlfriend. I've spent the past 1.5 years in this scenario (we're early 20s) and have noticed that he lacks sense of how to handle girls, and that this seems to be a common trend in first-ever relationships. He can be incredibly nice but seems constantly confused about what he wants out of our realtionship.
I'm a really laid back person with a good sense of humor who can take criticism and isn't afraid to tell it like it is, but I'm finding that he still manages to be really rude to me at times. I feel like we're in an "give an inch, take a mile" situation, which is probably my fault for being very passive. Sometimes I feel almost parental as well and it doesn't seem like a healthy dynamic.
I'm dreading coming to terms with what is most likely denial about the whole thing, but I'm wondering if because of his inexperience this might be a common thing and I'm not taking the right approach. I honestly want to tell him to go date someone else so he can see how much he doesn't like them and will appreciate me more (immature, I know, but it's my gut reaction). I feel like I almost need to cut him off from my somewhat doting nature so he can realize what he'd be missing out on. | Early 20s, lacking a lot of confidence in current relationship with bf who has never dated before, wondering if issues are the result of him being inexperienced or us just not being compatible. |
t3_2prf3k | relationships | Not sure if my friend likes me/flirting with me. Or if he just likes the attention and does it for fun. Me 23, Him, 21 | Okay, so I've known this guy for about 5 years and he's become one of my really good friends. But last year he's been really like flirty (to me) like touching me constantly, my face, my hair,making nicknames for me, my legs ( non creepy) and always near me and just being somewhat clingy which made me start liking him.
Sometimes I'm not sure what his end game is, he'll even play with my hands, hug me from behind and wont let me go and tickle me, even in front of our friends, when they'll even ask questions. Debating on what he feels.
He found out I liked him due to a friend who was drunk at a Karaoke bar. But when he found out he acted very distant from me and wouldn't ask me to hang out or ask people to tell me or ask some from me. So I confronted him by saying I did like him for a while, but since he never did anything when I tried to respond to his advances (following his moves) I told him we may as well stay friends.
He never actually responded, he just sorta stayed quiet and heard me talk and I mentioned that he's been acting weird ( which he rejected) But now he's back to the same stuff again, and I'm not sure how to read him or what he's trying to tell me.
He's also pretty anti social from time to time | Do you think he likes me? Do you think he just likes the attention? Should I get over him? Or am I crazy? hahah any advice is nice enough. |
t3_1n842v | relationships | I [20/M] am just not that into the relationship [22/F] | Alright so it all started about 2 months ago, I signed up for okcupid as a means of meeting up with civilian girls and also because there wasn't a lot to do on this temporary assignment I was on. So we meet up when I get back to civilization, yadda yadda yadda. Jump to now, we're a thing now and she's a really nice girl, but she's really into that cutesy couple bullshit, she wants me to dress more like LA people (v necks, skinny jeans, skater clothes) and while I do consider myself rather diverse from all my travels I still dress like the we'll mannered Texan that I am and that's not changing.
She's also really into me, and I feel rather indifferent about the whole thing. I don't know if it's a problem with me or with her, but it seems like she's very clingy and I'm just the opposite. I don't know if that makes me an asshole or if she's just needy. Is there some way I can actually start getting attached to this girl or is there some way to make her less clingy? She's a really sweet girl and I don't want to fuck this up. | I got a girlfriend who is really attached to me and I'm really detached from her. Not sure if I am an asshole or if she's just clingy. |
t3_2w9zad | relationships | My girlfriend (both of us are 16) slept for awhile at her ex's house. | So earlier today, my girlfriend and I were thinking of ditching school together. I ended up not being able to hang out with her, and she still didn't want to go to school. So she drove to her ex's house and slept there for awhile. I know for a fact that he still harbors feeling for her. She told me around noonish what she did and I felt so betrayed. I've told her numerous times that I don't like that she maintains contact with her ex. She then came over later and we talked about it. I told her how angry I was, but I still love her and want to be with her. Then while we were talking her ex texted her and told her how he loved her and wanted to get back together. He knows that she is dating me and I was inches away from driving to his place and beating the snot out of him, but I didn't. Anyway I told her that if she doesn't tell him to never speak either her again I'm going to break up with her. She did as I asked while I watched, saying she never wanted to speak with him again. Then she blocked him. Overall, I'm happy how things went down, but whenever I think of it I still get incredibly mad and upset. Any advice for what I should have done or should do? | My girlfriend slept at her ex's house today instead of going to school, we talked and she has ended contact with him, but I need more advice on what to do or should have done. |
t3_3vdmbc | tifu | TIFU by dropping off my friends just in time to catch the bus | In true TIFU fashion, this actually happened about a year and a half ago.
My friends took the bus down to my city to hang out for awhile. It was a hot day and I was broke so we were driving around with the windows down so I could save gas. Their bus back to their town was about to leave and they were going to be late and I dropped them off just in time and drove home. I rolled up the two windows in front because I was used to driving around with those two open, but forgot the one in the back and since my friend had to run out to catch the bus, she didn't either. We had a party of some kind at my house that night so I didn't go out again.
The next morning, my roommate's boyfriend asked me, "Have you seen your car yet?" and I said, "No, why?" "Raccoons got in," he responded.
I ran out to my car and saw dirty footprints all over my seats. I looked in to see if they ripped anything and just heard a clicking sound and realized they had turned on the hazard lights (which was kind of polite of them since that is definitely a hazard). I had places to go that morning, but because the hazard lights were on all night, my car battery was dead. Luckily my roommate's boyfriend was there to use my roommate's car to jump mine but my car was still a dirty mess and I had to get it detailed. | friend left window open, so did I, raccoon party in my car with the hazard lights for a slow strobe effect and a dead battery in the morning |
t3_2207iv | relationships | 20F and everyone around me. What to do? | Not sure if this is the right place for this, but it does involve the people around me more than myself.
My life is a wreck. It shouldn't be like this. I'm 20, overweight, shy, have no friends if any and body image issues keep coming. My ex who cheated on me wants me back. The other one that left me after two years because "I deserve better". He's now in a relationship with a girl he doesn't like and fell into a deep depression. My latest ex keeps telling me he loves me and wants to make things right and try again when he has money, yet he's never "felt love for anybody" and "he cares about people in his mind but not in his heart". His parents are filing for divorce and seemingly have an ongoing custody battle over his sister. The one guy I currently like/was seeing doesn't seem to like me back (or at least I am under the impression he doesn't. He's popular I'm not) and the guy I used to like is crazy about my bitch of a friend Who doesn't like him in return. My sister graduated from college, has a degree, but no longer wants to get a job in her field. She's currently working overnights for minimum wage and isn't in the best of living conditions. She's been diagnosed with GAD many times but refuses to take medication claiming it doesn't help.
A few weeks back my sister and mom had a falling out when we went to visit. Cue my sister telling my mom make is to blame for issues that both of us have. This leading to my sister telling me that our mom is so controlling to the point that now my sister is on her own, she doesn't know what to do and can't handle being an "adult" because my moms always told her what to do how to do it etc.
I want to help everyone and make everything right but I have no clue how to and I'm the loneliest I have ever been. I just want to be normal.. | I want to help everyone around me but I don't know how. I have few friends if any and it's depressing me to no end. |
t3_10schl | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm throwing my first ever house party this weekend. What do you think makes a good house party? | Little background- I'm 21(f) and would like to throw a house party for my close friends, maybe around 30 people maximum. There's a fair bit of space. I already know to lock away anything valuable and I'm fully prepared for people spewing on the carpets/breaking things/stubbing cigarettes on the table.
I'm not mad and I know things can go very very wrong, but if that happens it's my own fault and I can accept that.
I've never thrown a party before and would like to know what I could do to make it memorable and a good laugh. I don't have a huge budget but don't mind bringing in a few crates of beer etc. | How do I prepare my house for a party and what should I buy/do/set up for the party etc. |
t3_4upucj | relationships | I think my [24M] 5-year girlfriend [23M] is asexual. | Throwaway because some friends know my account and I don't want anything getting spread around.
Sophie and I have been together for 5 years. It's been a very trying relationship but we always make it through and work things out. We have the exact same type of humor and are best friends even though we have different interests. We want the same things in life (no kids, lots of traveling, personal development). But we don't have sex or have any sexual intimacy.
We had sex maybe twice a week at the beginning but within a year it decreased to the point where we regularly go 1-2 months without sex. It's currently week 6. She will occasionally give me a blowjob, but never to finish. Just as a tease.
I love making sex fun, rolling around and laughing during coitus. This lack of any sexual contact makes me not feel wanted. I know she loves me but I need that feeling that someone lusts for me, ya know?
We've had so many talks about this and it always ends with her saying "I know this is a problem and I'll try to change" but nothing has ever happened. Most recently when we talked about it she said she flat out doesn't really enjoy sex. She likes climaxing (obviously) but doesn't ever have a real desire to have sex. This held true with the other partners she has had.
I've suggested going to a therapist but we're both incredibly broke college students so I know there's no way she can afford it (money stresses her out enough as is).
I've compromised with how frequently it happens and even stopped making any attempt at initiation. I love her more than anything and our relationship is perfect outside of our sex life. I don't want to break up but I want to feel like a normal sexual human being!
What can I do? | Girlfriend said she doesn't really enjoy sex, was true with other partners as well. Don't know what to do anymore. |
t3_r2zh7 | relationships | Are there signs somebody has been raped? | 19 year old male here. I'm really interested in this girl at school on my floor. She is really beautiful, sweet, and friends with everyone she meets and I was completely surprised she was single. She caught my eye immediately. Gotten to know her a lot and we text/talk a lot when we are not together. Earlier in the year, she was asking for my help with my neighbor, but things with that ended a while back. When she was asking me for advice, I noticed a lot of the problems they were having were coming from her lack of trust and inability to communicate to him how she felt about certain things he was doing. They also would come close to becoming intimate, but she would stop it before anything could happen. I can't figure out why she has problems with relationships and it's really preventing anything from happening between me and her, and her and anyone else honestly. I think she sees me as another guy she can't trust. Does this go beyond me? I've asked her why she doesn't trust guys and remind her it's what keeps relationships from developing for her, but she seems really firm in this attitude. Maybe I'm not the right guy or she hasn't been meeting them, but something in my gut tells me there's more to it than a simple "guys are assholes". I don't want to push it with her though. My guess is that maybe she's been assaulted or something in the past. How would somebody whose been through this act? Are there "signs" of being a rape victim? Am I really far off with this idea? | Girl I care about has trouble being intimate (even just kissing) with guys, need help figuring out if she's been hurt. |
t3_1b5bsf | relationships | [21 F] don't know how to take boyfriend [22 M] of 2 years? Would especially like a males view on this. | We have had a lot of relationship problems recently,which almost resulted in us breaking up for good.We decided to try and make it work
because we love each other and apparently both want to be with each other.
It's been going well but only one thing bothering me is something that my boyfriend has being doing for a long time now and hasn't changed despite me talking about it with him.
Say we spend a night together, and then the whole next day, we have an amazing time and get on really well, we're always both in really good moods when we are together like that and always have fun. The last time we were together like that was last weekend, we went out on the saturday night, I went back to his and stayed, then we spent the whole next day together, had fun and I went home around 9:00pm
It was really nice and we both seemed to be on high from being with each other. But then the last few days, we've been emailing like we usually do to keep in contact and I've noticed he isn't as talkative, is sort of dry, not replying back for hours,replying back with one word answers, changing the subject when i'm talking about something in particular, just generally giving me the impression he couldn't be bothered for me.
Where as before we spend that amount of time together and we haven't seen each other in a couple of days, he will email me constantly, tell me how much he loves me, is really upbeat and chatty.
He does this every single time we spend a day or two together. It's really annoying and is just making me feel like he's using me or something. I've already told him before that I've noticed this and he didn't really make any comment.
Is this a man thing or what's going on? | whenever i spend time with boyfriend it's good and we both enjoy it and have a lot of fun, but days after it he'll act distant,dry and uninterested in talking to me |
t3_12eo2f | Parenting | My 7 y/o is acting out because we are moving again. | We moved across the country to Arizona in March and she took it very well. We made it an adventure, plus we had been homeschooling her, and although she had a good group of friends in Indiana, one of the perks to her was we put her in a charter school out here and she loves it and made a ton of friends. We lost our business in late August and have been unemployed since then. My husband has an opportunity to get a grant to get his CDL renewed and has a job waiting for him when he is done with the course making twice what we ever made with both of us working. We would be financially secure, I could afford to go back to being a SAHM, and we would still be close enough to my parents for them to be in our lives, which was a big reason for moving here. The issue is we would have to relocate. We would still be in Arizona, but 1 1/2 hours away so we would obviously have to put her in a new school. She seemed fine with it at first, but this morning she was a total mess. She was alternating between crying and giving major attitude, which is not like her at all. We got her calmed down and to school, but I am really not sure how bad this is going to blow up or how to handle it without losing my cool. My husband and I are stressed out to the limit and don't want to take it out on her because she is resisting the one good thing to happen in over 2 months. | after over 2 months of NO $ coming in my hubs got a great job offer in another town and my 7 y/o is freaking out about moving again. |
t3_3inbvw | personalfinance | Working student finding new housing, but having issues finding something within my budget. Studio in bad area, Craigslist room, or any alternative? | Hi,
I am a junior at ASU (online) with a lease up in December. My roommate, with whom I split all the bills, is moving in with his girlfriend and thus I must find new housing. Our rent is currently just under $1,200 a month including water/sewage/trash, though we live in a very nice community. This is where it gets complicated.
Finances:
Income: $1,800/mo from two jobs in two separate cities, not Tempe.
Debts: Roughly 15k in student loans. No other debt.
Expenses: Housing, school, gas, and some food essentially. Eat/stay at
girlfriend's house almost exclusively.
Budget: $700 MAX before utilities. Prefer under $600.
I pretty much need a place to store my stuff and stay when my girlfriend's grandparents are in town. Her family is very, very affluent and doesn't mind housing me at all. They actually prefer I stay there, as we all spend time together.
I am open to cheaper areas, but the rental market here (Gilbert, Chandler, Mesa if you know the area) has ballooned in expense in the last year and living in anything with even remotely decent reviews seems very difficult. AC maintenance is a major issue here and the very cheap apartments seem to have a pattern of not fixing AC units in a timely manner, sometimes multiple days and the weather regularly passes 110 degrees in the summer here.
So, I have been leaning towards a Craigslist room, but I worry about finding someone good to live with or that they may randomly decide to move, become foreclosed on without my knowledge, or be evicted for not paying their bills. | Does anyone know what someone who just needs a place to sleep once every couple weeks and to store their stuff should do for housing on a relatively tight budget? |
t3_jl4t0 | dating_advice | Interested in a girl I've known for a while; can I have some advice? | I'm a 20-year-old American male currently going into my third year at college. Soon after I started at college, I met a girl (also a freshman at the time) through a meeting of Students for a Free Tibet. We bonded over our mutual interest in Chinese and Japanese culture; she's studying international affairs, and I'm doubling in Chinese and PoliSci. Anyway, I saw her on campus and talked to her a few times as the week progressed. Eventually I became part of her circle of friends which was developing at that time.
This circle of friends has become the basis of my life at college. Everyday we eat dinner together, and on Friday and Saturday nights we usually hang out and play video games. We're fairly close to each other, and I'm not sure how I'd make it through the rest of college without them.
That being said, I've been interested in this girl since the first week I knew her. We're pretty close, we have inside jokes and that whole deal. Last summer we skyped once every two weeks or so, and this past summer while I was in China, we emailed each other on most days. Today I talked to her on skype for around 4 hours, and the time seemed to go by in a snap.
The problem is I have no way to gauge her feelings towards me. Sometimes she can be a little aloof. I don't know how interested she is in a relationship (though I know she's never been in one, same as myself). In addition to my overall uncertainty, I fear that if I ask her out it would be problematic regarding hangouts for our circle of friends.
On top of all that, she's studying abroad for this entire year (China in the fall, Japan in the spring), so I wonder about the point of asking her out over a long distance (though I am considering going to visit her in California in between semesters). I know this doesn't sound like the most distressing dilemma, but I could really use some advice (since any one of my friends I'd consider talking to may or may not be inclined to clue her in on this).
To those of you who read all that, thank you. | I really like a girl that I've known for 2 years but will not see in person for another full year, should I do something or let this go? |
t3_zg9b2 | running | Can anyone offer advice on how to transition from Asics Gel Lyte 33s to Nike Free 4.0 v2? | I am not a minimalist shoe runner. (are Nike Frees considered minimalist???) However, I really want to be but not 100% positive that I can be.
Generally, I do not like Nike running shoes. I have really high arches and they just don't feel good on my feet when I run. When I tried on the 4.0s I fell in love. Not only w/the feel, but the look as well :)
I have gone through quite a lot of brands/styles of shoes to find my dream running shoe. I bought my GelLyte 33s on the day they came out at the store. I ran 14 miles next day. No breaking in needed. No pain. No blisters. Perfect run that day...
Yesterday, I ran a short 4 mile (all flat - no hills) in the 4.0s and felt pain in my shin and in lower calf somewhat. I have NEVER had shin splints while running, even when I just started out running.
How can I transition to these Frees without getting shin splints. When I ran this morning in my asics, I could still feel pain in my lower shin/calf from the test run yesterday, but only after a couple of miles.
Should I just try them out 1/2 mile or 1 mile at a time, until I get used to them? Is there anyway to tell if I am even capable of being a minimalist shoe runner, even possibly leading to becoming a barefoot runner. | have shin splints after 4 mile run, want to learn how to transition to (somewhat?) minimalist shoes while running. |
t3_2rwrah | relationships | Me [27F] with my SO [41M] dating for 6 months. Looking for guidance from redditors who deal/dealt with a significant age gap. | A little background:
Started seeing him (romantically) this summer. We used to work for the same company but not in the same office. I honestly didn't know how old he was when we first met because he takes good care of himself and looks quite young for his age. Anyways, I've known him for 3 years or so. We had the same position at work just in different offices. He found out we have a similar interest in NBA basketball and we started going to a few games together. I have suspicions that he was seeking a romantic or at least a physical relationship with me back then but because of a combination of me being oblivious and a little freaked out nothing became of our "hang outs" and we eventually drifted apart.
I started a new job over year ago and last summer we reconnected and our relationship has progressed to something semi-serious. He's caring, fun, sexy and at this moment I find that we are quite compatible. He calls me every night and we talk for over an hour and we see each other 1-2 times a week. Also, he's very giving in the bedroom and always makes sure I get off.
I'm quite happy with our relationship right now (I actually regret not seeing the potential for a relationship with him back when we first started hanging out 3 years ago) but what I am looking for is any advice you guys can give me in regard to what I can expect moving forward from here.
As I said, we are becoming semi-serious and I'm the kind of person that likes to be prepared for anything. So any advice is surely welcomed.
Also, would like to add that, we discussed the idea of him meeting my parents in the near future (I have met his mom but it was by accident), so would definitely like to hear and insight on that. | Me and SO have a 14 year age gap. I am look for any advice from redditors who have related experience. |
t3_3bwo60 | relationships | I (18 F) wanted to move closer to my LD bf (22 M). We broke up but I already signed a lease,... | I wanted to move to germany to my long distance boyfriend. I already signed a lease for a pretty nice and cheap apartment, got a place at the local university and wanted to move all my things until september.
But he broke up a few days ago. Now I dont know what to do... I dont think I can handle moving to another country alone and I dont know if I can rely on mutual friends.
I somehow still want to move to germany but I am afraid... I would need to go to my apartment to handle some things with the guy that used to live there. But I have no idea how to go from the airport to the apartment and back. And what to do during the days I am there. I feel helpless and I dont know if I should approach my friends there since I only know them because of my ex bf. One guy actually offered his help but he is really busy at the time (he is going through a divorce) I dont know if I should bother him.
But if I decide not to move to germany I would still need to pay 4 months of rent and its too late to find a place to study at home so I would lose my child support money (if thats the english word for it). | I wanted to move closer to my boyfriend but he broke up. I already signed a lease and have a place at the university but noone to support me. What should I do? |
t3_35xc4h | legaladvice | Residency through marriage, and fraud. | I'm a 28(m) US citizen married to a 29(m) who is a Japanese citizen.
We've been married for almost 2 years now (San Francisco California) and now he needs to remove his conditional residence to permanent.
I found out he was cheating on me a few months after we married, this resulted in me moving out for almost 6 months, after moving back with him it only took a few more months for me to get on his phone again and find evidence of him cheating, I took pics that he actually deleted from my phone but not from my Google + backup.
At the moment I am unemployed and unable to afford a lawyer. I'm considering going to the local immigration office and speaking to someone there and ask them if they think I'm a victim of marriage fraud, however I'm worried about them looking at me as part of that fraud.
I must add some reference info: my credit has taken a huge plunge during these 2 years. Our landlord never wanted to give us a lease until a few weeks ago when my spouse signed a lease to his name that only allows one person living there. I benefit from my spouse health insurance provided by his employer, also he is a flight attendant and I get to (and have quite often) traveled domestic for free. We don't have any assets, we have a joint bank account that very rarely gets used. Also my mother is the one who's actually sponsoring him and I'm worried about her being affected by all of this.
Based on this information (and if you need more please ask) would getting spousal support be an option for me? What happens to all the debt I've collected? some of it is already with collecting agencies. Would this info be enough for immigration to dissolve our marriage or at least help me through the process.
Any direct answers or general advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, I'm aware I need advice on a few more aspects of my life but I want to tackle the legal stuff first. | Been married for almost 2 years to a non citizen while getting cheated on, don't know if I should report him to immigration or divorce him. |
t3_350hhb | relationships | Me [18/F] has a really huge crush on my friend [20/M]. Should I admit it to him? | The problem is that we've been friends since high school and didn't end up at the same college.
I have always been fond of him but I never had the chance to admit it since we were both in and out of relationships. He has recently just gotten out of one, and I'm sure that I'll have to cope with distance up until this upcoming winter break.
Should I at least be honest with him? I wouldn't even know what to say because it is most likely that we wouldn't be able to start anything because we would be away from each other for so long.
I am just nervous because I am his only close friend really, and I don't even know how or when I would be able to bring it up.
I'll also only have chance to see him for a couple weeks every few months. It's tough.
I'm confused and can't bring myself to think about anything else. | don't know if I should even bother admitting to my friend that I like him because of the perpetual long distance situation. |
t3_1j7ck2 | tifu | TIFU by trying to have sex with my bf. | So this happened last night.
Me and my bf got some alcohol last night, he got cider and I got wine. I thought it would be fun to get tipsy and have sex, cause its generally pretty fun. Well no that didn't happen.
So we were in bed and i've had 5 glasses of wine, feeling the perfect tipsy, I got into my lingerie and m bf was finding us something to watch to set the mood, just for a little fun.
And it had been maybe half an hour and I felt something happening, I sat up, and puked into my hand and all over the carpet.
So my bf slowly leads me to the bathroom to clean myself up and incase I need to again, while he's cleaning everything up while dry-gagging on the stench.
So I got into my flannel pjs cause that was the end.
And thenn, it happened again, this time I had a bowl, my hair was in the bowl covered and it was just bad.
But he was there next to me before I knew it and have me a hair tie to put my hair back. | tried to have tipsy sex with my bf, wine had a bad reaction and vomited all over the floor, and learned my bf is actually fucking amazing. |
t3_1qtb64 | relationships | I'm [23F] having problems with my depressed boyfriend [24M] | I'll try making this short. I [23F] have been with my boyfriend [24M] for 2 years and I plan to be with him for the rest of my life. Our relationship has been perfect, with few bumps and bruises along the way. About 6 months ago, his mother was diagnosed with cancer and most likely will pass away in the next year and it has been taking a toll on him.
I feel like we both put in equal amount of effort our entire relationship up until then. I put in almost all of the work, whether it be texting him first, myself initiating when we'll see each other, creating ideas of what to do, etc. We don't live together so I have also started to see him much less, about once a week or every other week opposed to 3-5 times a week. Now I dont mind the shift in myself putting in most of the work, however I've felt its not appreciated.
I've addressed my concerns with him and being direct of needing more effort from him or at least more appreciation and even asking if he even wants to be in a relationship at this time. He stated he still wants to be with me and will put more effort in yet I've seen no progress in the past couple months or so.
I feel like when he pulls away, I try to grab on harder because of fear of him falling out of love, which makes him pull away even more. I'm trying to be supportive and I realize he's depressed. However, there's a huge emotional disconnect between us and sometimes I feel like were just friends who have sex instead of being in a relationship. I understand his situation but at the same time, I feel like it's unfair to the both of us for him to just check out of the relationship.
Please help me on any advice you can give to me and how I can go about this differently or anyway I can help him as well. I don't want to lose him but I slowly feel like I'm at my breaking point. | My [23F] boyfriend [24M] of 2 years is checking out of the relationship emotionally and not putting any effort in because his mother is dying of cancer |
t3_4un5uc | relationships | Me [18M] finally over breakup with my [19F] ex, very cute girl in my uni course, dont know how to go about asking her out | I have spent the last four months getting over my first serious relationship of over two years. It's been a process but have come out the other end much happier after finding out she had been unfaithful for the last 6 months.
I just came back from uni break and when I left I promised myself that this semester I would ask out this really cute girl who also studies the same course. I haven't had to do this whole thing since I was 16 though and feel completely out of touch as to how to go about doing this whole dating thing.
I know her name from hearing it in passing, but that is it. I don't even have any mutual friends with her so I don't really know how to create a social situation where I wouldn't be coming off as weird just approaching her.
I know that I must sound very naïve when it comes to this, which I am. I just have been in a relationship for a long time and have lost touch with this sort of stuff. | cute girl in class, only know her name and have no mutual friends. How do I go about finding out if she is at all interested in me maybe taking her out? |
t3_4trqm1 | relationships | Me [23F] with my good friend [22M] of almost a year - I think he told me he used to like me? What do I do? | I've known this guy for a while from school and we became very good friends a few months ago. We never talked about us in a way other than anything platonic, that being said, he is a very flirty person by nature and makes lots of jokes/comments and so when we first started being good friends, I thought he liked me. I've never been in a relationship before and I haven't really dated so I'm used to liking guys and them not liking me back and I thought that this was just another situation like that. He soon started dating someone else (that didn't last long for them) and so I told myself that the "signs" that I thought meant he liked me was just how he is.
I still like him but I don't want to date him. There are lots of deal breakers and now we have gotten to be some of each other's best friends.
So the other day, he called me just to talk (we don't live near each other anymore) which he has only done once before, and we joked about how it took us a long time for us to be friends and for me to open up to him (i'm very guarded and for a while he thought I didn't like him at all but now we laugh about it) and somewhere in there he said something about having liked me but then giving up since I acted disinterested. He was mumbling a little bit and I didn't quite catch what he said and I didn't ask him to clarify at the time.
I'm really curious as to what he said and what he meant by it, mostly because I want to know if I was right about having thought that he liked me back then. I'm not completely opposed to something happening if the window of opportunity is still open but that is not my main goal here. Should I bring it up and ask him to clarify? He basically said it in passing and also he had been drinking. Or should I just let it go and forget about it? | guy friend that I've liked for a while may have told me he used to like me and then didn't pursue it since he thought I didn't like him back - not sure what he said, do I ask him about it? |
t3_23fka6 | loseit | My Fitness Pal and a question | Hello! I am kind of a newbie at this. I am a 16 year old girl, I've been overweight pretty much my whole life so far. Up until middle school I didn't care about my appearance, it wasn't until 7th grade I was conscious about what I really was. In eighth grade I tried Weight Watchers but it didn't really work out. For the past two years I've been trying on/off to lose weight again.
I downloaded my fitness pal and I would really really like some friends on there! I know counting calories is just as important as working out from my previous attempts. As for exercise, I do strength training workouts(consisting of mainly just moves, some with hand weights) everyday, and I am starting C25K so that's cardio three times a week. I also take ~1 mile walks whenever I can get them in. I also play varsity tennis at school.
Now the question I have is about the strength training. In times past I would do all cardio and lose weight but not see results too quickly. I have seen several times that if you add strength training you'll lose sizes(not necessarily weight because muscle weighs more) faster because of the toning of your muscles. So if someone did a majority of strength training will they lose sizes faster? (I am curious because I have to be down a shirt size for an event because I don't want the shirt to be tight and embarrassing). | will anybody leave their my fitness pal usernames so I can add friends? And does strength training show results faster than cardio? |
t3_49gq63 | tifu | TIFU by not investigating the moans coming from my car | I work from 8am-5pm. After work I got in my car and spent a minute on my phone. During the short period I heard a single bizarre moaning noise. I thought for brief second it could have been an animal, and so I looked around the car and then under it before leaving on my ~15m drive home.
After another minute I heard the noise again. I pulled over, and inspected the inside and outside again. I convinced myself I was crazy or that it was my bluetooth device, and finished the drive home.
During the drive home I spoke to my wife who joked about a cat being stuck underneath the car, out of sight. I didn't take it seriously, because I had already checked it out.
When I got home, I gathered my things and briefly considered the noises one last time. As a joke, I said "hey kitty kitty", and heard a loud and obvious animal noise in response. At this, I sortof flipped out and started checking every possible spot I could find. After checking the inside and outside AGAIN, I opened the hood of the car and searched desperately. I called again, and immediately got an animal response. I narrowed my search based on the direction of the moan and sure enough found a white ball of fur packed into the back right corner of the car. Somewhere between the siding of the car and the engine compartment.
I reached in to pull out a very large scared fluffy cat. Not just any cat. MY FUCKING CAT! I inspected her for any injuries and promptly fed her some food and water. | My cat got stuck inside the engine compartment of my car, survived the 20m trip to work, 8 hours of being stuck (?), and the 20m drive home before being found. No injuries! |
t3_33194q | relationships | I [33 F] am worried about my friend [30 M] of 5 years because he is getting involved in a pyramid scheme and won't listen to reason. He also has a mild learning disability and I feel they used that to rope him in. | I have a good friend who has always had the kindest heart and really just wants the best for everyone. A stupid MLM or pyramid scheme company is preying on his kind heart and learning disability. Now he feels (and believes I guess) that the lies he's been told are real, that the hype he's been fed is legit and he wants to share this great opportunity with all of his friends.
I'd say if it was any other friend I could say, "Dude, no, this is not real," and they'd either believe me or at least stop asking. But this friend thinks I'm missing out on finally having financial freedom. I have explained to him mlm's and pyramid schemes, shown him examples of other companies also, shown him news stories about the one he's part of, and his response is just "No way, I've seen the cars they drive and the vacations they've been on. This one is legit."
Any advice on how to convince him, prove to him, that this is going to suck away every penny he has and leave him with nothing?
Thanks! | My friend is calling every day trying to convince me (and other friends) to join his pyramid scheme/mlm and won't believe us that it's a scam. |
t3_21e9h1 | Advice | Life is just tough right now. | Hey friends. So, I'm a senior in college, and my girlfriend recently broke up with me. We dated for 4 years, and we were madly in love, or so I thought. I've known her since high school and we had been doing long distance for a while; my school is a 1 hour and 45 minute drive from her. In December we had somewhat of a falling out and she thought about giving me "another chance". Apparently I wasn't giving enough to her and the relationship. She did a 2 year program for cosmetology and quickly got a job at a salon. I am at a university studying social science, music, and German. I loved this woman, and I thought she was the one. But with the distance, and how busy I am, it was hard to find time to be together. She broke up with me, and a month later she already has a new boyfriend and seems as happy as ever. I'm a wreck. I've been drinking a lot, and I don't know how to do this whole single thing and get over her. I just need some advice on how to move on or deal with this whole thing. It's just tearing me apart. | girlfriend after 4 years broke up with me because of long distance. She already has a new boyfriend after a month. Super sad, not sure how to move on. |
t3_4gjbzb | relationships | Me [22 M] and my girlfriend [20 F] broke up a few months ago and I can't get over her | We broke up almost three months ago, after having a relationship for more than three years, and at first I was able to keep my mind off of her, but for the past weeks I've been having more and more trouble with moving on and forgetting her. We broke up mainly because she didn't want anymore, but I was (and still kinda am) still madly in love with her, but didn't want a half relationship.
I'm finding myself checking her profiles every day, thinking about her every day and wondering what she's doing. I don't really have anyone to talk to, it feels like it'll make me look like a whining p***y, but I have to get it off my chest.
Please Reddit, do you have tips or advice for moving on? | Girlfriend and I broke up a long relationship and even though it's been a while, I can't get over her and move on. |
t3_1d9mtz | relationships | My partner (m,22) and I (f,24) are moving in with his parents. What can we do to make this arrangement easy on everyone? | My partner and I have been together for nearly two years, we are both students who work part time. We make decent money for students but rent being what it is in our city, we're struggling a bit. We also want to save money for a house deposit so we have decided to move in with his parents and two siblings (f,20) and (m,18). We all get along really well and I love his family. The house is very large so we won't be in each others way too much.
I just wanted to know what we can do to make the arrangement easy on everyone? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any hints or advice? I'd hate to ruin my really great relationship with my partner and his family over something silly and avoidable.
Thank you | need advice on how not to ruin my relationship with my partner and his family now that we're moving in with them. |
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