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t3_310r9q | relationships | [Non-romantic] I (22m) went over my [50f] boss' head and now she's angry. | Setting: I coach gymnastics in a gym that is connected to a number of other businesses by an indoor hallway. The gym takes up two rooms adjacent to one another but seperated by a cinder block wall which blocks out all noise from one room to another.
While I, my boss, and another coach were in one room of the gym my boss (head coach) let 4 (12/13/14/15) girls go to the other room unattended. (Summary) I told my boss that I was not comfortable with the girls being alone in the other room because they could get abducted (obvious hyperbole) and she brushed it off saying "I would like to see someone try to abduct them" obviously joking but not taking me seriously. So I went and sat in the other room while the girls goofed around (wasting time) 30 minutes later the gym owner walked through and i told her I wasn't comfortable leaving the 4 girls over there alone and the owner said they definitely needed to be supervised for liabilityness and she would talk to head coach about it.
3 days later at next practice head coach is angry at me and tries to say she can hear into the other room and that the girls are safe. Head coach later told another coach she didn't feel like she could trust me.
I feel like she brushed me off so I had to go over her head to protect the girls, myself, and the business and that head coach is taking a professional disagreement about liability and responsibility personally. Other coach says she thinks I'm being overly dramatic. Head coach is one of those people that is never wrong. She spew bull shit arguments till the other person gives up so I don't feel like talking to her would be super effective.
Are there magic words I can say to make her understand? Am I being overly dramatic; they aren't babies but they're still lil girls? | other coach let kids go unattended I said it wasn't okay. went over other coaches head and now she's mad. |
t3_159jre | relationships | GF [22] talks to a "harmless friend [26?]" who she used to have feelings for more than I [M 19] would like her to. | My girlfriend has had conversations on a very regular basis with a friend of hers, let's say "Bob" who she recently told me that she had feelings for 2 years ago but was rejected by Bob. Claims she hasn't had feelings for him in a year and a half. I don't like Bob because he always drunk texts her and occasionally asks for tit pics. (She has NEVER sent any! ) I don't believe they have hung out for atleast the 3 months that I have been dating her.
This week I told her I loved her (she said it back) and am currently back at home on break. She sent me a text which was intended for Bob, nothing was bad in the text, just some conversation... but even just conversation bothers me and she knows it. She has made an effort for the past 2 months to not really talk to him as much in front of me.
I did not ask her to stop texting him, but definitely made it clear that it's something I wouldn't mind her doing because it bothers me that she used to have feelings for Bob and it seems in my opinion that Bob is keeping himself in her mind nowadays. She says she can't stop talking to Bob because he's a friend. They used to work together.
Should I make her stop talking to Bob? Am I extremely overreacting? What should I do to make myself feel better about her talking to Bob. I trust her completely, but don't trust Bob's motives. | GF[22] had feelings for a guy, who 2 years later is texting her regularly when I[19] am her boyfriend. I'm bothered by it. What should I do? |
t3_3chrch | relationships | I [25/M] accidentally ignored a female friend's [23/F] text. Did I fuck this up? | So I just got back from doing 4th of july weekend stuff, and she did as well with her family. Here's how the conversation went. This happened yesterday.
Me: Hey, what's up?
**Her:** I'm on my lunch break. How was your weekend?
Me: Really awesome! What about yours?
**Her:** Pretty good. \*insert random cool outdoorsy stuff she did here.\*
**Her:** I got to get back to work. I'll hit you up when I get off.
Me: Sounds fun! And alright, cool.
(6 hours later - probably after work) **Her:** Yeah, it was. I kinda wanted to go home Saturday night because we were already done with everything and I was pretty worn out.
Then I didn't say anything back. The conversation was going no where. I now feel like a dick. She even made a point to text me after work and continue the conversation.. I'm now worried that she might have lost all interest she might have already have. She might have wanted me to ask her to hang out or something, but I didn't.
I kind of hate small talk via text. Usually, I only text/call friends when I want to make plans in real life. But I didn't have anything to do that day. However, I wanted to show interest in maintaining contact with her, because she reached out to me last time just to wish me a fun weekend before she left out of state. So I decided to reach out to her after the weekend was up. | Reached out to a female friend who I'm seeing, she continued the conversation, and I couldn't. I'm now worried that she might lose interest and move on. |
t3_d97gw | AskReddit | After a bad relationship, an aversion to sex is messing with the best relationship I've ever had. | A couple years ago I was involved with someone who it's difficult to speak of, even now. I was extremely co-dependent, which was exactly what he was looking for. He did a lot of things which would be considered abusive, had he not gotten my consent. Whenever I said no, or that something hurt too much, there would be anger, and he'd make me feel terrible for being weak.
Eventually, he left me for someone else. From what I've heard, she was more codependent than I was.
The next person I dated was by no means abusive, but terribly self-centered, and got upset whenever I was uninterested in sex. I was still trying to work myself out of my codependence, and ended up having sex on a lot of occasions when I was entirely uninterested. It became a chore, in my mind.
We were incompatible, it ended up. We ended on good terms but avoid each other to this day.
Fast forward to today. I've met someone amazing--someone, humorously enough, who was there for years. He's loving, kind, patient, brilliant, willing to help me work through what's gone on. But even with him, attracted to him as I am, it's really difficult to find situations where I'm able to have sex without feeling nervous.
What's worse, he has body image issues, and I've got the worst feeling that he thinks I don't find him attractive. He's extremely patient, but I'm terrified that because of his willingness to wait, he might find himself thinking less of himself. But I know that if I push myself to sleep with him, it'll only make things worse. | After two relationships, I'm averse to sex and it fucks with my boyfriend's self-esteem. Wtf do I do? |
t3_u0rr0 | AskReddit | What sort of improvised clothing have you used that worked out surprisingly well? | I found this pair of jeans that had a really nice cut and fit me, length-wise, which is really hard to find for my height. However, they were just large enough that I would need a belt or they would creep down on me as I walk. One day, I forgot my belt at a friend's house and tried to find something to hold up my pants. No bits of strings were long enough and a sash looked silly (I did consider it). That's when I saw one of my mini-USB chords. Wrapped it around my waist, tied a knot, and stuffed the ends into my pants. The rubber had enough friction to keep the loose knot from undoing itself, and the chord still works to this day. | I've used a spare mini-USB chord as a belt. No one noticed and fit just as well as a normal belt. |
t3_yao0w | AskReddit | Reddit, I have a job offer conundrum. I have been asked to interview for another position, but currently have a job. I don't want to upset my current employer. What do? | I've been working in total for about 2 years since graduating college in 2009 (thanks, Recession). I've been at my current job for just over a year, and last week I was contacted about a new position with a different company. I like my current job, I have no complaints at all. My boss and owner are great, I'm good at what I do, make good enough money ($40,000+ when adding in bonuses), and have not in any way been actively looking for a new job.
After listening to what the other job has to offer, I'm seriously considering switching. This new position would pay me north of $60,000, give me a lot more freedom (work from home, travel around New England), and has a lot more growth potential. I am one of 2 finalists for this position and have been asked to go to California to interview. I currently live and work in Boston, though, and would have to take time off from work to go to this interview.
I don't want to burn any bridges with my current company. It's a small business, they really are great people who are good at what they do and have built a strong company from the ground up. At the same time, its irresponsible for me to turn down a position that is a clear step up career wise.
What is the best way to approach this so that I can go on the interview without upsetting my current employers? | Was asked to interview for new job, currently employed, don't want to piss off my boss. How do I handle this? |
t3_2iuj3i | relationships | How do I (35f) tell my friend (37f) that I don't want to babysit her kid (1f)? | We've been friends for almost 20 years. I want to be Auntie Justtheish, but lately she only asks me to babysit, not hang out. I'm the first call when they want to go out for dinner etc, but the past few times its to come over just before or after the kid is asleep, and she's a good sleeper! She goes down at 7 and is in for the night. They'll plan dinner to be after she's in bed, so I am just there to watch tv in their house instead of my own. I don't wanna. I'm child free by choice. I want to know your kid and have her love me. I want to take her on dates and spend time with them all as a family. My boyfriend loves them too and wants to get to know the baby, but I don't want to be free labor.
Can I say "I love spending time with you and your kid and would love to spend more, but babysitting isn't really my thing so I'd prefer only when she's awake and you are home too"? It sounds great to me but people with kids confuse me. Having decided to be child free, most of my friends with kids believe full force that their time is more valuable and we plan all things around them. I make so many concessions for them, I don't think I should have to give up evenings to sit at their house while they go out. I can do that at my house! They'll suggest I show up early. Like get there at 5 to play with the kid before she goes down, but then that's like my whole Saturday. So I'm a jerk if I don't come early to see the kid though it's a big time commitment.
So I just say nothing? Is it rude? I love my friends but I'm not a 35 year old babysitter. And no they don't pay me, that would make it WORSE. | friends keep asking me to babysit. How to say I don't ever want to, I just wanna hang out. |
t3_2fe8dy | weddingplanning | Just spoke with the photographer, am I overreacting? | Back ground: We got married May 31, 2014. We picked our photographer because she was really sweet, has pretty good pictures for our price range, and offered a second shooter. We paid around $1200 to have her and her husband take pictures all day (4-11ish). Since the wedding we've seen our "sneak peeks" but I haven't heard anything other than that from her. I've seen her post other wedding sneak peaks and family/baby picture all summer so I understand she is busy. She does not have another job and she has two girls who are school age.
I constantly get asked when I'll have my pictures by friends and family and they always say I should message her when I tell them I don't know. Well, my husband works with hers and he said they are going on a trip for a week and a half. So I finally give in and message her. All I said was "hey, I was just wondering when you think you will have our pictures ready." This was her response:
"Hi Aleeah! Hope you guys are doing great!!! :)
I am leaving for a couple weeks and when I get back weddings are my priority :) I have a small one and then yours... I will let you know as soon as there ready"
It irks me that she spelled my name wrong considering this was on Facebook and it's clearly spelled correctly right above the message box, but whatever. So pretty much this tells me thy she hasn't even STARTED my pictures yet. I know she has thousands from our wedding, so how much longer am I going to have to wait!? And she exaggerated the time she would be gone.
I am so mad. My husband is mad. I find it ridiculous that it has taken so long. To be honest, I completely forgot we had wedding pictures up until two weeks ago! Are my feelings justified or I this normal? | I've been waiting 3 months for pictures and am told I will have to wait longer. I'm mad. Should I be mad? |
t3_16syz5 | relationship_advice | [20/m] I'm falling in love with my friend (20/f) who is studying abroad and it is making me depressed. How do I deal with this? | Her and I met at the beginning of last semester and quickly became extremely close friends. While I was never really romantically interested in her at first (I wasn't looking for a relationship and I'm not really the type to fall for someone quickly anyway), it eventually reached the point where we were spending a great deal of our free time together (seeing movies, eating dinner, studying, etc). As our relationship reached this point I started to feel emotionally closer and closer to her (I'm somewhat introverted emotionally so this generally doesn't happen to me), but the semester ended and we were abruptly separated. I considered trying to move towards a more romantic relationship with her before, but she is studying abroad this semester and I didn't really see the point.
We continued to communicate almost constantly with each other through texts and Skype over the winter break, but I thought the distance would allow me to separate myself until she comes back. Obviously it hasn't, and I've actually started to feel like I'm starting to fall in love with her, despite being thousands of miles away. She was such a huge part of my life and I miss her so much that when we aren't talking I feel incredibly lonely and depressed. I have no motivation to go out and socialize or even hang out with other friends. All I want to do is talk to her.
What do I do? Should I cut back communication in the hopes of eventually feeling better? That doesn't seem fair to her and would be very emotionally difficult for me. Should I just continue to talk to her as much as I have been and just come to grips with the fact that I'm going to have to wait? I guess the third option is to tell her how I feel, but I can only really see this causing more pain. | I'm falling in love with an extremely close friend of mine who is currently studying abroad. The separation is making me feel depressed and I don't know how to proceed. |
t3_1o1n94 | offmychest | Thanks anyway, I guess. | Though It hadn't been confirmed until recently, (I kind of knew anyway) My dad is gay. Which would be fine if he were not such a massive Jerkface. I don't know if it's because it was the 80's ( the AIDS crisis) or what... you don't need to keep denying who you are Dad, stop lying. Added to all the other crap, that you will of course deny, It's a wonder I still care about you at all. (I do by the way.) At least I know how to contact you If I want.
I also would apreciate it if you didn't hide my exsistance from the guys you date. Mom is sick of them calling her when they discover your lies.
Lastly, I know you don't think you need to be forgiven, but I do forgive you. You are still my dad after all. | My dad is gay but he is also an abusive, lying, thief and a deadbeat. But hey he tried... sort of. |
t3_1i4nyq | travel | I'm a Canadian wanting to go somewhere this Winter/Spring 2014 for a few months on a very limited budget. Let's hear your stories of travelling with no money. | I need to escape and live a little, school is not working out right now.
I'm thinking of South America or a Caribbean loop right now, but I honestly could/would go anywhere assuming I could pay for a plane ticket and have a bit of cash left over.
I've never travelled on my own before, so the idea of it is incredibly exciting and terrifying. I'm a 20 year old male and I think I could get by without much at all, so please advise me if I'm being realistic or irrational...
I'd like to hear about your experiences travelling, what you've learned and what some ignorant amateurs like me should know about if I'm planning to go for a few months - especially if it pertained to living off bare minimum. I'd also like to know about some of the resources that are out there in this day and age to get along without much money at all - stuff like couchsurfing, helpex and wwoofing. I've heard about these things, but never read any experiences about how they work out or what to watch out for. | pass on all your travel advice, tips on getting by without a lot of money, budgeting, services or networks that have made things easier, etc etc. |
t3_332hfm | relationships | My mother (F37) wants me (M21)to continuously lend her money | I can afford it. She nows I can, she knows my lifestyle. Ever since I turned 18 she made me get a job or get out so I could help her pay half the rent and bills since then, I recently moved out a year ago and I am living much more comfortable as I am spending way less than I was while living with her. I can save more because I don't lend her money as often. She always asks for money because she knows I can afford it, the thing is she will not repay me until 3 or so months later, she has never lent me a dime. Even when I ask her if she can repay it she will not; she always tells me she will pay me next week and it goes on for that for 3 months. It is not my fault that she is incapable of surviving by herself but I also don't want to feel guilty. I have lent her over 5k in the last 3 years, and she's paid the majority of it but I do not want to lose 300$ for the next few months as I like to keep myself financially stable. I don't want to be mean but this is just out of hand. How can I keep the relationship with my mother stable while not lending her this money? | Mom is incapable of surviving financially, I have since moved out because she relies on me so much yet she still continues to ask for money. How can I keep my relationship with her while not being her personal credit card? |
t3_3z831e | relationships | me (F33) in complete mistrust of OH (M34) after finding his casual sex profile. | My Husband, (M34), signed himself up to a site used for casual sex when working away, while I (F33) sat at home lonely and clueless for 3 years raising our then v small babies singlehanded. I caught it in his emails a month after he came home and put him out (lasted a whole week). Thing is, it's now over a year later and my head still cannot get around it. I guess it was the effort of it, creating a profile, witty tag line, filling in all his details..when I was, and still am, getting no attention from him.
Now the latest work contract is nearly over and despite past reassurances, he's chatting about going away for work again and I can't have it. I had a stinking breakdown after the last time and his advice was to "get over it". I've given him a "Family or Work" ultimatum but he sneers it off. | OH (M34) signed up for casual sex site when previously working away, now wants to go working away again. I (F33) can't handle the thought of it. |
t3_kbdpd | AskReddit | Should I move from NJ to FL. Need help weighing the pros and cons | Ok so heres the back story. Im 21 years old and a senior in college. Ive lived with my mom the whole time and never went away to college so needless to say living at home is getting a little old. My step mom has a place on the coast of Florida and has offered for me to live there (by myself or with a roommate) after i graduate in May. If i move there I would probably live there a year then start grad school or just see how it goes and move back if i dont want to start grad school
Heres my problems with moving there...Id be far away from my family, Id be leaving behind all my friends and god knows if id make new ones, Id need to find a job, and I dont have a roommate quite yet that would move with me so id pretty much be alone.
Here are the pros though....Its right near the beach, Id get to reinvent myself, Itd be a nice change of scenery, and Id finally be out of the house.
Hopefully you guys can give me some help and help me make somewhat of a decision | have an option of a place to live in florida but cant decide on whether its a good idea just yet. |
t3_1x2sqq | relationships | My [24M] first GF [22F] of 3 months feels that I am not supporting her. | I have been seeing my GF for about 3 (2 exclusive) months, she is my first as I am recovering from social anxiety and was previously a typical arkward redditor type. My girlfriend has been in several previous long term relationships.
She has a lot going on right now and feels rushed for time and stressed, balancing a lot of work/gym/studying time. Because of this she can only see me maybe once a week recently and for the next month, which I am ok with and want her to be successful with her own life as much as possible. We love each other and have a healthy relationship in general.
The issue that has arisen, she has told me is that I don't offer her the kind of support she is looking for in her own life. As I am not used to being in a relationship and still have a lot of self doubt; I constantly question myself before texting her. My mind will typically even go blank and I can't think of anything to say out of fear of maybe saying something to upset her or causing a fight. In general I am quite a quiet and reserved person which is a trait I am trying to get over. This doesn't mean that we never have laugh or anything, more that I don't use opportunities to connect with her (or others). I will usually end up texting something like "miss you x" in the hopes of sparking a conversation but has resulted in her feeling guilty that she cant see me so often.
What I would really like is advice on how to connect with her better and to get over my own anxieties. In general my social skills have been built through practice over many years and I dont have any experience here. Personally I do not currently study and most of my time is dedicated to the gym or working full time. I like watching movies/tv shows or playing games quite a lot (among other things) in my free time which she just does not have the time for in general so it can be hard connecting when we don't have a huge amount in common. I just want her to feel like she can talk to me about anything and that I will be able to respond in a positive way and vice versa. | I am not good at being supportive of my gf and need advice on being more social with her and connecting on a more satisfying, deeper level. |
t3_tirmp | AskReddit | Was lied to by a car dealership, and they provided a false car fax report. What can I do? | We just bought my girlfriend a used IS250 AWD, and we were given a car fax that showed everything done correctly (no wrecks, recalls, ect). However, we went to go register the car and get our insurance updated on it and the DMV said the title would have to be a salvage title since an insurance company totaled it. Come to find out, someone at the dealership wrecked it, bent the frame, and their insurance company totaled the car. BUt since they own a body shop they just fixed it and sold it for cheap and didn't close the repair order on the body work till after it sold (hence, no open record on the car fax when we looked). Not once did they tell us it had been in a wreck, and the car fax never showed a wreck. We also have it in writing that, to an effect, says that the information they provided about the car was provided to the fullest extent of their knowledge. If it was repaired elsewhere, I could see how that MIGHT have slipped by, but it says the work was done at their own body shop, a block from the dealership.
What can I do? Is it worth hiring a lawyer, since I bought the car "as-is"? | dealership wrecked a car, claimed it on insurance, insurance totaled it, they fixed it, sold it to me, I can't register it or insure it due to salvage title. |
t3_3ujoa9 | dogs | [Discussion] Potty training progress or wishful thinking? | Looking for some opinions on my puppy's behavior. I've had her for almost 3 weeks. She's 12 weeks and we've been working hard on crate and potty training. Yesterday I noticed she was sniffing around the front door and staring at me. I assumed she was looking for a spot to pee on the doormat and took her outside.
This evening I noticed she was doing the same thing so I took her out again. She peed but it was pouring so I hurried her back in. Around 10 minutes later she was sniffing around the door again, watching me, but I assumed she was just smelling our shoes since she had just been out. (By now I'm pretty familiar with her behavior and felt comfortable with the assumption.) A minute or two later she hid beside the couch and made a giant poop.
Do you think she's "telling" me she needs to potty by heading over to the front door or is it just wishful thinking? After her first night she's never not gone potty while outside, so just because she's peeing when I take her out after she sniffs around the door doesn't mean she really "needed" to go. | Puppy sniffed around the door before pooping in the house; was she trying to tell me she needed to go out? |
t3_1zq2so | relationships | Me [21 F] and my ex-BF [24 M] broke up in 2011, he just contacted me and I don't know how to say no. | My emotionally abusive ex-BF [24M] broke up in early 2011 over LDR-related issues and we didn't break it off that well. For the first following weeks after the breakup we would sometimes talk and end up with awkward conversations before losing touch. I have since moved on and have been with my current BF [23M] for 2 years and I would really prefer that my ex do not contact me on facebook again [where he is on Restricted mode]. Today, he contacted me asking for "some time to catch up" (presumably online, as I am in another country). He has also previously asked for my current number but I did not respond. How should I drop the hint and explain very nicely/with civility that I would prefer for us not to have any more contact in order to avoid any further awkward confrontations? | broke up w/ ex 2 years ago. he keeps contacting me to "catch up", How do I say "no" nicely? |
t3_1lf25n | offmychest | I hate these "MLG Quickscoper" people in FPS games... | I like to play a lot of first person shooter games. So far, I have to say I favour Battlefield over Black Ops. I also like playing TF2. They're all fun. But what I dislike in some of these games are the Quickscopers. Now, before you throw me in the grill, I want to say that if you quickscope, but you don't brag about being in all these "top MLG clans" and complain about "hard-scoping" despite that being the purpose of a sniper, that is completely fine with me. But I often see these people with usernames like "XxZ_UlTrA_DarK_Sc0peZ_ZzX" and are quickscoping like mad, even worse when they complain about people hard-scoping or brag about how they are awesome. HAH. They wish. Oh, don't even get me started on when they try to quickscope on games other than Black Ops. I see people on TF2 who play as the sniper and try to quickscope, shoot through glass, and people on Battlefield, whining about EVERYTHING and saying Black Ops is better..
Now, if your name is something like Zx_Jimmy_xZ, I don't mind, so don't throw me on the grill. | MLG Quickscopers, please get rid of that username, and stop trying to transfer your "Leet MLG Skillz" to TF2 or Battlefield, and whining that Black Ops is the best game ever. |
t3_3e8ik6 | tifu | TIFU by trying to heal myself at work | This happened just a few minutes ago, so bear with me.
I have this cut/scarring on my elbow as a result of falling off my bike whilst riding during a thunderstorm (that's a whole other fuck up). While the bleeding has stopped, there is still quite the ugly mark present.
Now, I'm an intern, and in the lab that I work, there is a small bottle of honey near the desk of one of my co-workers, as he was absent at the moment. Knowing that honey has some medicinal/healing properties, I journey over to his desk to apply some honey to this scar.
I get a drop on my finger and begin to turn around to return to my station, when I notice my other coworker (not the one at the desk near the honey) staring at me with a confused expression on her face, before turning back to her desk. I want to say something like "I'm not eating this" or "This isn't what it looks like", but she turns around to continue her work, probably thinking that I am some sort of strange honey thief.
I walked back to my station, before getting up for some hand sanitizer and sitting down again. We haven't said anything to one another/made eye contact. | Tried to use edible medicine to heal a cut, but got caught in the act. Caught in the act of honey theft. |
t3_4aibey | relationships | My [23M] girlfriend [20F] of 3 months does not want my help | I started dating this girl about 3 months ago and everything is going great relationship wise. The problem is she didn't have a job, so she literally had no money at all, and she just found a job but she has some expenses in order to get the job. She had to buy the uniform which I lent her the money for and I'm also lending her the money for transportation since she does not have a car and her family won't help her with picking her up and dropping her off.
Also, her family is going through really hard financial times and I've helped her parents here and there with anything they need as well. She feels like I've done too much for her and she's starting to feel bad.
In this new jobs they asked her for a background check, or else she can't go back to work, but she doesn't have the money for it. I told her I'll lend her the money but she won't accept it because I've done too much for her already and she's embarrassed.
I told her if she really wants the job she should let me help her because maybe I'm doing good now but one day I might need her help and I need to know I can count on her without feeling embarrassed.
She hasn't replied to that last message, but I don't know if I am doing the right thing here. Should I pull back and let her handle it on her own? Or is there something I can say to make her feel more comfortable?
She's an amazing girl and I want to do anything I can to help her get on her 2 feet. | Been helping out girlfriend and her family a lot, she needs one last bit of help before getting this new job but she is refusing to accept my help. Should I persist in offering help or let her figure it out herself? |
t3_3f3kon | relationships | He (26m) seems into me but won't ask me (22f). Yet if I pull back he seems upset. What to do... | We are both coworkers and work closely together. One weekend I asked him if he wanted to get a drink, and he said "don't hate me. I'm busy this weekend so I won't be able to this weekend". He said he would get a drink with me, but it has been weeks since I have heard from him. He also played along when I told him a coworker said he saw us "holding hands and kissing" (we didn't. Our coworker was just messing around cuz we got lunch together).
He teases me a lot. He remembers weird things about me. He is always smiling at me. I got asked on a date and he had a billion questions about the guy. He just generally seems interested; especially since coworkers say he is "mr.shy", but he doesn't seem shy around me.
I told him via text he was sweet and cute and he said "easy, intern". Cuz I started out as intern at this company... I apologized and he said "it's ok. How is your night?"
Anyways, I kind of pulled back today. He kept asking me why I was so cranky / if I was upset, so obviously he was a bit upset I wasn't giving the amount of attention I usually give him.
He was getting a drink with a coworker this weekend, and I teased him (we having a teasing relationship) about how he never got a drink with me/ when he was planning on paying me attention (again we have this friendly relationship, so it's not too far fetch of a thing to say) he said "that is the age old question; when will I ask you to hang out".
That just got me really frustrated. He can show me attention, get upset when I don't reciprocate, but he won't ask me for a drink ?? I'm not sure what to do. I'm sick of playing the games and want to walk away, but I still have feelings... | coworker flirts a lot and gets mad if I ignore him, but he won't ask me out for a drink even though I asked him out weeks ago. |
t3_53qors | relationships | Me [59 M] with my wife [55 F] 29 years, dislikes wife of new friend | Short and sweet. I met a couple recently that have virtually the same interests as me. I get along well with them both. My wife does not like his wife. She rides motorcycles, likes and owns old cars, and does crossfit. My wife says she has absolutely nothing in common with her (which is true).
Now, they keep asking me when we all can get together. I am tired of being all vague and generally evasive about saying the truth to them, which is that we probably will not be doing things as couples.. I WILL continue to do the activities with them that we enjoy ( I never have too many friends), but what do I say to them to not hurt their feelings?
Wife will punish me emotionally when I do things with them, but I'm used to it. Just don't want to alienate them.
I'm stumped. Never had this situation before. | How do I tell friends that my wife doesn't like his wife, and we won't be getting together as a group? Or should I even? |
t3_h84ww | Pets | 21 year old cat has seizures every night...is it time to put him down? :( | For the past 3 days, maybe longer, he's been having what i can only describe as seizures. He'll perk his ears, look with open eyes all over the room, then start involuntarily shaking. He'll writhe around the floor for a good minute, some times longer, then lay their exasperated barely moving. Today was the worse, after the seizure his mouth hung open and his tounge jutted in and out of his open mouth. After he's done shaking, he'll get on his feet dragging his right hind foot, and find a spot to lay down breathing heavily. After about a half hour his breath returns to normal and he seems okay. When i returned a few hours later, he was back to his old self, no problems, eating, drinking, jumping off things. He responds to stimuli once hes normal. I dont want the poor guy to suffer but i dont want to kill him when he's still got one more life to live. Any input would be appreciated, its my first post to r/pets. Thanks in advance. | cat has seizures for past 3 nights, recovers, still eats drinks, functions normally. Should i kill? Y or N? |
t3_frg5a | AskReddit | What causes Social Awkwardness? And why is it so common amongst American Anime fans? | I'm a 21 year old college senior at a large university. The other day my friend and I went to try and workout after waking up with a large hangover, it didn't last long. When then went to get food and stumbled into an Anime convention. It was pretty big, tons of people, cool costumes, so we started walking around, signed in, etc..
I assumed some people there would be a bit nerdy but that's no big deal; however, I was blown away at the awkwardness of most people. We asked a normal looking guy if he knew where we were suppose to sign up for dodgeball and instead of helping, or even saying no, this kid.. I can only describe it as: imagine a cat near water or a vampire in the sun.. He did this shoulder lift, draw back, petrified "no" headshake and scurried away like an animal. This wasn't the only one to do this either. Almost no one was able to converse.
We weren't being dicks, but just because we weren't awkward they wouldn't even let us play dodgeball until a little pissed convincing. I mean we were friendly til they were being lame so then we got in the game and won first place, fast.
Anyway, it seemed like everyone there, except the females, were scared to even speak. I tried making friends because I felt bad for some of the guys throwing a dodgeball 8 feet using 2 hands but they werne't able to even carry on the conversation. What's the deal with all of this? Are most fans of Anime and stuff like this? Are most socially awkward people fans of anime? Is it's a visa versa thing? I'm so confused because I might not be nerdy but I'm not a dick to strangers. I was trying to be friendly and enjoy a knew scenery but they made it almost impossible. | Went to an Anime Convention and it was the most awkward time of my life. What's the link between anime and awkwardness? |
t3_2shvuv | relationships | Me [18 M] with my gf [18F] of 4 months, told me blowhobs arent on the menu and felt instant heartbreak | My gf just recently told me she'll never suck my dick and honestly I felt really heart broken like this was a deal breaker I didn't know I had. I feel really shallow for even thinking this way, I love this girl and we've known each other for close to two years and been together for 4 months.
I dont want to break things off for this reason, but I feel like a doors been shut in my face. I hate that I'm placing so much value on a sexual act I've never received. I don't feel I can talk to her about this because she'd probably think im only in this relationship for sex, but thats not true. ive been hoping for this to be long term but that would mean id just go the rest of my life without getting a blow job.
I know she could always change her mind or it could be a once in a blue moon type thing but I still want to know what would you do in this situation? Am I right to feel this way? | gf of 4 months said she'll never suck my dick and now I feel really shallow and disgusted with myself for even thinking of breaking things off |
t3_1hb1ni | relationships | I [17M/F] Broke up with my crush/best-friend [16M/F] of 4 years after 3 months, need help keeping her as a best-friend. | So we've both had a crush on each other for about 4 years and got along great as friends, but as soon as we started dating I felt so anxious that I could barely speak sentences with her around, despite having no problem having full conversations with her in the past.
Feeling completely helpless I told her I couldn't cope with the situation and that the relationship should end, she agreed I couldn't cope but she did look slightly angry after hearing this.
What I'm extremely worried about is that not only have I made a fool out of myself, I've lost a great friend. How can I approach her in the least awkward way? Or should I let go?
Oh, and to complicate things I have Asperger's syndrome so I find communication incredibly difficult at the best of times. | Made a fool of myself after telling my best friend I couldn't date her as I felt out of my depth, need help on how to keep her as a friend. |
t3_1j0dbv | relationships | Me (20, F) broke up with boyfriend (20, M) of 1.5 years. Did I make the right call? How do I get over it | So I broke up with my boyfriend just now. It has been a bit meh for the past 3 months now and I know he feels the same way. It wasn't bad, but just not as good as before. The break up was actually quite peaceful I guess and we ended on good terms. But I'm not sure if I made the right call now. i feel so upset and down about it. I know he wasn't the person I wanted to end up with but we could have been together for a few more years at least, until I finish my degree. Or maybe he would be the person I want to marry ultimately. I'm worried I'll never find someone else as great as him. And I'm just not sure how to cope in general. Any advice on how to cope would be good. Should we stay friends? Did I make the right call? | broke up with boyfriend. Relationship wasn't great anymore but wasn't bad. I feel so depressed about it. Did I make the wrong call/how do I cope? |
t3_45hxzp | relationship_advice | Engaged and having trouble with trust. 28/f, 28/m | I'm (28/f) currently engaged to my fiance (28/m). I recently came across a group that he is in with his close guy friends where all they do is post pictures of naked women and talk about girls they have had sex with or want to have sex with. Luckily, my fiance was not noramlly the instigator these conversations but he looks at it every day and I saw that he had been bragging about a girl he had sex with years ago, and another girl who he regrets not having had sex with. The whole group is just back and forth "i want to fuck her" and "remember when I fucked her". Naked photos all over the place. Unfortunately, I know all of the guys in this group and it makes me think a little bit less of them. Is this normal or is it something I should be worried about? Obviously it wasn't really great to see my fiance bragging about one of his "faves of all time" and regretting not having slept with another girl who is "so fucking hot". Any thoughts on this? I'm trying to not let it get me down...but it definitely is. | Fiance has a group me with guy friends where they constantly talk about other women and send naked pictures. Normal? Should I be worried? |
t3_141jpf | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I ask a gay guy at a bar I work at to back off without coming across as homophobic? | *Apologies for any grammar/spelling issues, I've been awake for quite a while.*
Ok so I perform at this bar once a week, and there's a guy who works there full time, let's call him Alan. Alan is a lovely guy, I know he means well, but he holds a very different view on personal space than I do.
Now I have no problem with gay people whatsoever, not in the slightest, nor do I want this message be interpreted as 'he can be as gay as he likes as long as he acts straight in public'. Not at all. The thing is, every time I walk in, he greets me by getting very, very close and trying to kiss me on the mouth. I have a thing about personal space, I value mine very highly, and when I've just arrived from an hour and a half's train journey and I'm about to go onstage and try to perform it throws me off if someone suddenly gets very close and tries to kiss me! If he were a woman I would find it equally uncomfortable.
I'm sure he can tell I don't like it; this has gone on for a while and I've stopped trying to hide my discomfort. In fact, probably part of the reason he still does it is to try to get a small rise out of me. If I were a woman and he were straight, I feel it would definitely be construed as sexual harassment. He's a nice guy so I don't want to upset or offend him, so how can I tactfully and effectively tell him to get out of my face? | Gay guy who works at a bar I play at keeps violating my dearly-valued personal space, how do I get him to stop without sounding like a homophobe? |
t3_3abz77 | offmychest | Prior authorization | "Prior authorization" is one of those things I'm convinced can only exist when you get an organization so big there's no one who has the power to say, "That's horrible. We should never do that."
If you're not familiar, "prior authorization" is a process where, when you're prescribed a medication, your insurance company will refuse to pay for that medication until they get a letter from your doctor saying you need it.
You know - a piece of paper that says you need medicine. It's like a prescription, except...
IT'S EXACTLY LIKE A FUCKING PRESCRIPTION!
The only difference is that it goes directly to your insurance company instead of your pharmacy. And instead of someone there immediately giving you medicine, they spend 6-8 weeks processing it and then go tell your pharmacy it's okay to fill the prescription.
The whole process exists so that the insurance company can save some money - you know, because they don't have to give a sick person their medicine for SIX TO EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS - DURING WHICH YOU MIGHT SAY "FUCK IT! THIS IS TOO COMPLICATED!" OR YOU MIGHT JUST DIE, WHICH SAVES FUCKING AETNA A FUCKING FORTUNE!
Because if there's one thing medical insurers hate, it's insuring people who need medicine.
This particular rant came because Aetna decided this week I need prior auth on a medicine I've been taking since 2012, call it V. When my doctor called in prior auth on V, Aetna told *her* I can't have V at all until I've tried W for at least a month. So, she prescribed W.
Then, I got a call from my pharmacy. Aetna requires prior auth for W - THE FUCKING MEDICINE THEY TOLD MY FUCKING DOCTOR TO FUCKING PRESCRIBE!
This isn't even terribly unique. It's just one more Kafkaesque clusterfuck that comes from being sick in 21st Century America. | Fuck Aetna. I hope they all get some painful disease and have to treat it with something that requires a prior auth. |
t3_4alw6n | relationships | Is it a red flag if a girl (19f) cares if I (20m) have money? | I recently met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. He told me beforehand he wants to set me up with this girl he knows and I, having recently gotten over a heartbreak, agreed.
We just met and we hit it off instantly, we've been talking a lot and I think i'm falling for her. Now the issue is that today I was talking with a close friend of her's about our situation, I was basically asking if she had any advice for me, and she told me she's interested in attractive guys who can make her laugh and have money. She said it so casually but that kind of put me off.
I talked to my friend who set us up if he knew about that and he just said yeah but he didn't think that would be an issue for me. Now I don't know if she likes me for my personality or the fact that my family is well off. We didn't talk about anything money-related at all but i'm not a flashy person, I wear normal clothes and drive a normal car but the first time we met I was driving my dad's car and now I just have no idea what to do.
Obviously it's not something i'm willing to talk to her about, and I really like her and I don't want to throw this away because of an assumption I, or her friend, made. If it's true I don't see a future here but should I just go for it? Any advice? | Found out the girl i'm interested in prefers that a guy is well-off. I don't know if that could be why she likes me and I don't know how to find out. |
t3_1bvwa3 | relationships | My boyfriend [M22] and I [F22] don't always have things to talk about. Lots of uncomfortable silences. Is this okay? | We've been dating for just under three months but we spend a lot of time together, sometimes 24 hours at a time, and we've grown pretty close. We have a lot of really intimate moments. We have some mutual friends, similar interests, similar personality traits, as well as our own separate interests and hobbies.
I keep hearing that the truest sign of having found the "right" person is that the two of you can talk for hours without an awkward silence. This is not the case for us.
We talk about a lot of interesting things, tell funny stories, have inside jokes, reference tv shows/movies we've both watched, etc, but we don't always have something substantive to talk about.
Often we just goof off and say nonsense things and make fun of each other, and sometimes there's just nothing to say. We experience uncomfortable silences sometimes when we're walking places, eating out, having beers somewhere, doing just about anything that allows for conversation.
He's told me he's kind of introverted, so he doesn't really talk about feelings, though he's really knowledgeable about kind of obscure pop-culture and talks about that a lot.
For my part, I think I've grown less sociable/talkative in the past few years due to certain lifestyle choices, (ie. smoking weed, experimenting with hallucinogens) and I feel like my ability to communicate has deteriorated a little. I've been in university and college for four years, I have interests and hobbies, I think I'm fairly intelligent, I go out and do lots of fun things, I read a lot and I watch/have watched a lot of really good movies and tv shows, but I find it hard to talk about these things.
So yeah, maybe due to these and other factors, I just can't see us sitting and talking for hours. The other night we were at a pool hall for about 4-5 hours and at one point, almost immediately after his friends left, we spent half an hour looking through/talking about the stories in a newspaper together.
Is this okay? Is this normal? Are we not compatible? | I know for a fact that we couldn't talk for hours on end. We have lots of awkward silences. Sometimes I just don't have anything to talk about. Normal? |
t3_x68ts | relationship_advice | 20/m here with a fucked up situation.. Love of my life slept with best friend | Please ignore the username...
So this is a little complicated... My ex (21/f) and I broke things off after 5 years because we were basically just frustrated with all the stress that our relationship brought. I still loved her, I just couldn't handle the seriousness at such a young age, I guess. Well, about a week after we agreed to separate, I find out that she did everything but sex with my so called "Best friend." I was totally in the dark until he confessed through sobbing tears that, in fact, it happened. This happened about a month ago. I have cut contact with both of them as much as possible. The "best friend" texted me all the time apologizing and blah blah blah for the past month, but I've tried my best to refrain from reply. Recently, my ex contacted me telling me how I'm a wonderful person and how she's "completely and utterly broken" and that being with any one else just isn't the same. She has been with one other guy since this incident, as well. She continuously tries to explain the reasoning behind her actions and I just don't understand. I still love her, but I hate her so much. I am so confused. | Ex of five years slept with my best friend... Says she regrets every moment and is trying to stay in contact with me. So confused. |
t3_38u2t8 | relationships | Me (22,m) and my girlfriend (22,f) broke up 4 days ago after dating for 4 years. After having a long talk we decided to get back together but only after a month break. Is this a good idea? | My girlfriend (22/f) and I (22/m) broke up 4 days ago after dating for 4 years. The reason was because, as we were both finishing school, I became increasingly more doubtful and unsure about whether I wanted to continue with our relationship. As the year progressed, I tried to isolate myself in order to try to understand why I was constantly feeling unattracted to her and why I sometimes felt like I needed to experience life more and fuck around. I ended up hurting her by not taking care of her and not making her feel loved so she broke up with me 4 days ago. As I reflected on the situation and on our relationship, I realized that we had something extremely special and that I fucked it up. I no longer felt like I wanted to fuck around. I came to the conclusion that I was not the person that I displayed through my actions wanted to be in this relationship beyond a doubt. Prior to this past year, our relationship was amazing, exciting, and inspiring. I want to marry this girl.
So, after 7 long hours of talking with her and then her father, we agreed that it was worth giving it a try. She requested that before we gave it a try that we had some space from each other for a month and a half as she felt like she needed to get over a few things before we had a fresh start.
Is this a good idea? What can I do to be better next time? | My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. 4 days later we agreed to be in a relationship again but only after a month and a half break. Is this a good idea? What can I do better? |
t3_5112lv | relationships | Me [15 M] with my friend [18 F] duration, weird night last night | So I have a really close friend, she goes by Z, and last night, her and I were walking to go meet up with some of her friends.
As some context, we've expressed mutual attraction in the past, and she is/was dating another girl [late 20's F]. Last night we were walking, and she pulls me onto a side road and says something along the lines of 'I'm 100% sure that my girl is cheating on me this weekend, so are you gonna kiss me or what'
Anyway, I did, and then we met up with her friends and grabbed food. When I had to go, she kissed me goodbye. We were both sober, so I know it's genuine, but it still feels a bit weird to be in this position. I've been trying to justify it to myself based off the fact that she's breaking up with her girlfriend, for a variety of reasons, but I still feel pretty weird about it. | Friend tells me she's sure her girlfriend is cheating on her, kisses me, does it again, hasn't broken up with this other girl yet. I feel weird about it. What do I say/do? |
t3_dz6tf | AskReddit | I'm competing with my friend over the same girl. What should I do? | Me and my buddy (Jim) have been best friends for a very long time. He started to have feelings for our mutual friend (lets just say Mary) around a year ago but she didn't feel the same way. They talked it out, and they were done with it from what I know, still hanging out but never going back to that aspect of their friendship. Soon after, Mary and I started to hang out consistently and I started developing pretty serious feelings for her. We have amazing chemistry and I know it could work if we got together. I never voiced my feelings for her to anyone, but I feel like she might be sending me IOI's and could be interested (especially after going to bars, eek). I still feel weary about coming out with my feelings for a couple reasons.. I dont want to risk losing both of them as friends, and the details are sketchy over what happened with Mary and Jim. They're still good friends, and talk often. Jim recently confided that he still did feel for Mary, which kinda throws the whole wrench in everything. I don't wanna cross him as he's a very good friend of mine and it would cause major drama within or friends group, but I also do care about this girl and she's a light in my life right now. I'm starting to get frustrated over the whole situation and I don't know what to do. I just wanna somehow be with her without destroying everything in my path. What should I do, Reddit? | My friend and I are pining over the same girl. He has history with her, I don't. I wanna somehow be with her without ruining our friendships. |
t3_4rrolf | legaladvice | Landlord want security deposit back more than a month after moving out??? WI | A couple roommates and I rented a house in Milwaukee, WI, and lived there with no problems for about nearly 1.5 years. Landlord fixed things promptly when requested, we never missed rent payments, it was all well and good.
An issue arose at the end of our lease when moving out. One of my roommates had a cat that was rather old and had trouble making it to the litter box. As a result, some noticeable odor was present in the carpeted areas upstairs and in the back of the basement.
Before we moved out, said roommate paid to have the upstairs carpet cleaned (but not the basement).
On final walk through, the landlord (May 31), he commented that upstairs smelled fine, but downstairs had unacceptable odor. When he returned the security deposit (June 8), he sent an email explaining that he kept $0.20/sq ft for 724 sq/ft of carpet cleaning, as per the lease. As such, he kept $144.80 and returned the remaining $1355.20 ($1500 total deposit).
Now today, (July 7), he's sent another email claiming that even after the second round of carpet cleaning, the smell has become worse to the point that his new tenant had to vacate and he has had to spend excessive amounts of money to replace all of the carpet, some subfloor, disinfect the entire house, and is now losing out on rent until the whole thing is handled.
He's pointed out that the pet addendum to the lease says tenant is "responsible for all damages caused or made necessary as a result of the Pet(s), including those exceeding the deposit amount." But, because he is 'reasonable', he will settle for just getting the full security deposit back, and is requesting the $1355.20 he returned to us.
Now, I'm no expert on cats or cat smells since I never lived with one prior to my roommate's, but it seems highly suspect to me that the smell would grow worse over the course of the month to the point that it caused 'shortness of breath' (as the new tenant apparently described it). Especially after two rounds of carpet cleaning and without the cat there to perpetuate the problem. | My landlord returned our security deposit, and now more than a month after move-out, wants it back. Does he have a valid claim to the money still? What legal repercussions would I/my roommates face if we refused? |
t3_zvo8s | relationship_advice | Didn't tell my boyfriend about a date I went on before we were dating. He feels betrayed. Thoughts on disclosure prior to dating? [25F/3mo.] | Some background: I had just broken up with my then-boyfriend of 1.5 years and didn't feel ready to fully commit to a new relationship. The now-boyfriend and I were sleeping together for about a month but hadn't started dating and hadn't set boundaries yet.
As part of my state of trying to get over the ex and not jumping immediately into a new relationship, I went on a date with a guy I recently met. It didn't go well, we didn't do anything physical (not even a kiss goodnight.) and I never talked to him or saw him again (aside from telling him I wasn't interested.)
I didn't want to tell my now-boyfriend at the time and I didn't feel I was obligated or that he was entitled to know since we weren't dating and hadn't set boundaries.
To his side: It came up because I mentioned the bad date in passing, not remembering I hadn't told him about it. He says he was completely open with me and is hurt that I was not with him. At the time, he asked what I was doing that night and I lied and told him a different person than the one I actually met.
I understand he's hurt. He's completely justified feeling that way. My issue is that he said this has happened before, and then compared this situation to girlfriends who lied about who they were with while cheating on him. I feel that comparison is over the top, and that we were both justified - me not telling him and him feeling hurt. I apologized for hurting him but I do still feel justified not telling him. His argument is that it points towards a character trait of cheating/lying and I maintain that it's different since I wasn't obligated to tell him everything.
Thoughts on the situation? | Boyfriend was hurt I didn't tell him about a date before we were officially dating or had set boundaries, considered breaking up over it and compared me to his cheating ex-girlfriends. |
t3_14ncil | dogs | Stray dog literally waked into work, not sure if I can keep him. | Earlier in my shift, there were a few people talking about a dog wandering around the building while avoiding people. A couple hours ago, I spotted him sitting right outside the front door. I sit down, and he eventually lets his guard down enough for me to pet him. Now he's sleeping next to my desk, as you can see in the pic below.
I already checked him for a tag and called the local animal control. He's not a threat to anyone, so they told me to call back at 8 A.M. I've been thinking about getting a dog for myself for Christmas, and the timing seems just right for him to walk in.
He could be microchipped, but if not, do you think it's plausible to keep him? Any pet not claimed for 3 days on base goes up for adaption, and they'll take care of the vetrinary services as part of the adoption fee. I didn't really have a breed in mind as it is, and he seems like what I would want in a dog (not to big/small, gentle temperment). | Stray walked into my job, and is cool. I was thinking about getting a dog anyways, but should I take him in after he gets checked out? |
t3_4umhf1 | relationship_advice | When should I[18/m] send her[18/f] a follow-up message without seeming clingy or desperate? | I have talked to this girl almost every day for a year and hung out with her one-on-one on several occasions, though always under the cover of helping each other with school or at the gym or something like that. I never got the courage to properly ask her out or make a move.
Well I asked her over facebook on sunday if she was available some afternoon and she was like:
"Damn it. I am really busy next week."
"Thats alright"
"Hmm actually I might be available on friday. I will find out tomorrow, monday"
It is tuesday now and she didn't send an update yesterday. Well I'm not too nervous, I just don't know if it would seem too desperate to ask her again "hey did you find out if you're available friday?" Or maybe I should just wait and hope for the best? | messaged girl if she wants to hang out next. She might be available friday, would find out monday. Didn't hear from her on monday. Should I text or should I wait? |
t3_544r7v | tifu | TIFU by almost asphyxiating a nine-year old. | So me and my roommates at my boarding school decided one fine afternoon in 5th grade to attempt asphyxiation. This was not out of any perversion but merely a childish game. It was just a fascination with strangulation. We were just scientifically curious to find out how long it takes to almost die. So the game was to tie a knot around one person's neck while two would pull from the sides. I went first. The other two pulled from the other side and my face turned a bright red. So they stopped right in time. I felt out of breath but it seemed so fun we went on with it anyway. Not one to shy away from a challenge, and with a little hinge of vengeance against the next contender, I pulled a bit too hard. Her face turned red, then, bypassed blue almost instantly, only to turn white, followed by a thud. We debated calling the warden while loosening up the knot, only for her to come back to life in five minutes before we could reach any decision. Luckily she just coughed a lot and nothing serious like her dying happened. Shaken, we all went to our corners and remained there, avoiding each other for about two weeks. It was almost like we were trying to deny that oh wait, we didn't just nearly murder our roommate. We're just having a little "disagreement".
P.S I was already formulating a game plan on how to hide the body. | TIFU by almost becoming a juvenile offender with criminal conspiracy by trying to asphyxiate my 9 yr old roommate "just for fun". |
t3_2fdrdb | relationships | Me [19 M] crushing on [21 F] wondering how to deal with female friend [19 F] and potential "ice cream date". | Ok, so I just started at University couple weeks ago and met this awesome girl I like; let's call her Belle. She seems to drop some signs that she likes me, and obviously I want to see if things can escalate.
Thus I thought about messaging her to meet me after lectures tomorrow and either then there or by message suggest going to an icecream bar the day after and hang out.
My only worry is that a female friend of mine, let's call her Amy, insisted on bringing me to that place yesterday. Amy originally showed me the place, and it seemed to me like a good place to suggest Belle to join in on. So thing is, I'll try to get a ice cream deal with Belle, but Amy is kinda already expecting me to join her, though I haven't really completely confirmed it.
I'd also guess it's not such a good idea to go with both Amy and Belle if Belle accepts an invitation, and feel like I may need to cancel on Amy. Then again, idk how to deal with it if I go with Belle and then meet Amy there.
So to wrap it up:
Belle is crush. Amy is close platonic friend of mine. I don't know Belle so much, and I do kinda fear that if the case is that Belle really likes me, she can misunderstand what's up with me and Amy. Don't know if I should try to ask out Belle for the same day and just explain to Amy. | I wanna try to go out with crush to a place, but platonic female friend already kinda plans to drag me there too. Dunno how crush will react when meeting friend. |
t3_4rq8ke | relationships | I think my [31 M] GF [25F] is pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to see me. | I will try and keep this short, I am really just looking for thoughts/advice.
I am going away on a trip overseas for the next 2 months and I can't stop thinking that my GF of 7 months is pretending to be sick in order to avoid seeing me before I go. She has been "violently ill" for the last 3 days and shows no signs of getting better and I am leaving in two days. She won't meet me while she is sick because "she doesn't want to get me sick before my trip".
I have told her that I don't care if she's sick and that I want to see her anyway, even if we can't kiss/hug, but she refuses, insisting that she would feel terrible if I got sick. I am leaving for 2 months and I want to say goodbye to my girlfriend!
The thing is, I still see her posting on FB and instagram and she seems to be acting how she always does. She posts a lot and it doesn't seem like this has slowed down at all. There were also a couple of instagram posts where it seemed like she wasn't at home (she has told me she hasn't left her bedroom in 2 days), but it was hard to tell. She's not really responding as much as she usually does and when I spoke to her on the phone yesterday, her voice sounded really sick to start, but she ended the conversation pretty quickly and told me I was "going to make her more sick" if I kept bugging her.
Other than this, this has been the best relationship I have ever had and I am really in love with this girl, so this is really bothering me. Up until now I trusted her completely and she has never acted this way before.
Am I right to be concerned? I usually am not a paranoid guy, but something seems off here. | I can't shake the feeling that my GF is pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to see me before I leave for 2 months. Am I being paranoid, or should I be worried? |
t3_3538q8 | Dogtraining | Crate/Potty Training Basics, Help! | I know this is one of the easiest things to train your dog, but am having trouble with my dog going potty. For one, I am not home a lot so I have decided to buy a crate to begin crate training... The case is with my puppy, everytime I let him out, he plays and plays. I leave him alone for an hour or so outside and he does not like to Pee outside. When I bring him back in his confined space, he pees there all the time. I lay out newspapers and all that just for accident, but I get an idea that he thinks he has to pee there. He will potty/go poop every now and then after feeding him. But in most cases when I take him outside and I tell him go potty, he just thinks its play time. How do I give him the idea that he has to go when i say go? I've tried catching him "in the act" and have done so a few times and taken him but he would be too fast and pees right then and there. So I'm getting a crate to try to train his bladder in hopes he can hold it inside and go when he has to outside. Any advice, suggestions to successful potty/crate training would be great.. Please note that I am not home often during the day because of work, and will eventually lead him to having the whole living room to himself/ his crate. I would like that he holds his bladder until I get home or he knows to pee on the newspaper if he has any accidents. | Dog has trouble peeing outside, pees only inside when brought in. Getting crate to train, any advice/suggestions? |
t3_22h4rx | relationships | My (22F) boyfriend (31M) of 3 months is moving to another state and it's causing me a lot of anxiety | I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. We were friends for 6 months prior. Everything seems to be going very well for us.
However, this summer, he will be moving to another state for his job, where he will undergo training for anywhere between 4 - 12 months before moving to another country for work. I would be legally allowed to go with him to the other country, but I am not sure about the training in the other state.
The thing is, while he has said "come with me" on at least one occasion, he also talks about how "being apart for a year isn't too bad" and how "part of his job involves going away and being apart from people for some time."
I am having a lot of anxiety about what will happen when he moves away this summer. I want to know what will happen when he moves away this summer, but I don't feel comfortable asking him directly if I can go with him. When I bring up the subject, I get too emotional and just start crying.
Any suggestions on how to handle the anxiety caused from our uncertain future? I am literally losing sleep over this. | boyfriend of 3 months is moving to another country for his job and I want to go with him but it's unclear if I can go or if he wants me to go with. |
t3_52jhbw | relationships | Relationships -- boyfriend's (25 M) ex-wife (25 F) is super hot, I'm not. Feels like he's settling | Soooo...my late night browsing on social media led me (20 F) to my boyfriend's (25 M) ex's ( 20ish F) Instagram page. And holy hell, she's hot...like 10/10. Her pics include travel, trips, hobbies, nights out--basically, a fun, active
life.
I'm attractive enough, but nowhere near that level. My life is boring, literally just working multiple jobs and going to school...trying not to starve kills any chance of a social life.
It looks like my BF settled in dating me. We've been together around 7 months, they were together for a year, then married for 6 months. He's successful, good job, house, and all that along with being ridiculously attractive. He doesn't mention his ex much, but has stated that "she was fucking crazy." From her FB/insta posts, she claims he was emotionally abusive, which I find hard to believe. He's never been anything but an absolute sweetheart to me.
I've heard all the "looks will fade, personality is so much better" crap before (not from bf, just in general), but don't totally buy it. Hence this post to my fellow redditors -- I'd like to hear your stories/thoughts on the matter and how to deal with what I'm feeling. I guess it's a mix of insecurity/jealousy/just overall weirdness about things. | BF's ex is super hot, I'm not. Looks vs personality -- did you settle for just one, why, and how did it turn out for you? |
t3_3vwjwy | tifu | TIFU by trusting 2 "friends" with money. | So, today I was trying to buy some "mind candy" from a friend I knew for a long time. We made the transaction and made our way to my brother's apartment only to find out halfway that we were sold nothing but a thin sheet of paper. This pissed me off but it didn't stop me from pursuing the "mind candy" from another source. Hours later, I hit up another buddy from high school up and it turns out he had it. My brother and I, being stupid, decide to trust this guy after getting ripped off hours earlier. First things first, the whole meetup was sketchy. We pull up to a gas station and my buddy comes to our window and tells us to go to the street across the gas station. Stupidly, we agreed. After that he asks me to hand him the money and wait for him. I asked him if he had change for $100 and he said he would get it for me. He walks towards a house and starts turning the corner at this point my brother and I are pretty sketched out. 10 minutes passed, he doesn't show up. At this point we started getting suspicious. I started calling his phone and guess what? It was turned off. That really pissed me off so I went on Facebook and told him that he was gonna get what's coming to him, whether or not it's me. Not even a minute later, I find that he blocked me. | I fucked up by trusting 2 close "friends" from high school with my money for "mind candy" only to be ripped off twice. Lost about $150 dollars today. FML |
t3_3qate9 | relationships | Me [19 M] realizing 6 months after the end of a 2.5 year relationship with my ex [19 M] that the relationship was actually abusive. | Backstory: Got dumped out of the blue by my boyfriend (I'll call him Jim) of 2.5 years this spring. He told me that he wanted to experiment with drugs and polyamourous dating, so he left me.
Fast-forward to now, and I'm still trying to recover. Unfortunately, I just realized that our relationship was pretty abusive. To the point that I'm amazed I didn't notice at the time. I've also become acutely aware that I don't know how to deal with this information.
The first "red flag" I noticed in retrospect (quotes because I'm not sure if it's still a red flag when looked at post-issue) was his approach towards me coming out to my family. His campaign consisted of a good bit of nagging, culminating with him threatening to leave me if I didn't. So I did come out, far before I was really ready to, and that sucked.
A little more frustrating was the control he ended up having over my social life. This one is partially my fault, as I am not a very social person. However, Jim routinely cut me off from my own friends, and pretty soon the majority of my time was around either just him, or him and his friends.
Subsequently, any bit of friendship I had with any of his friends went out the window in the breakup, and I have no idea what Jim told them, but they pretend I don't exist, so I can't exactly find out.
By far the worst bit of manipulation was our sex life. We had quite a bit of consensual sex, but I was also often coerced into sex when I really didn't want to engage. The few times I successfully avoided his advanced he would act hurt and turn on the guilt-tripping.
By far the worst part of this is that I'm only just figuring this out. My gut feels twisted, and other than that I really don't know how to handle it. It's definitely scary in retrospect, mostly because I didn't even see it coming. | Figuring out 6 moths after it ended that my "great" relationship was actually abusive, struggling to deal with it. |
t3_30p2sy | jobs | Do you know what working in any of these fields is like: a phd, IT, finance, consultancy or industry/engineering? What is it like? | Hi reddit,
I am graduating in July this year and for the first time in my life I am looking at the career options I will have afterwards. Since this is actually the first time I am thinking about this and it turns out "exploring the job market" is not as easy as it sounds. I am looking for some advice from people who have experience in any of the sectors I listed below: How are the growth possibilities? Is the field expanding or contracting? Is it very competitive and busy, or are the working conditions more relaxed? How are the benefits? How is the 'culture' in the field? Any piece of information is welcome!
The sectors I am currently looking at are:
- PhD (in physics for me)
- IT
- Finance
- Consultancy
- Industry (engineering jobs)
I think that I should make a decision soon, so that I can focus my search on what I want, but I have absolutely no idea where to start. Looking at company websites doesn't help a lot. Some stories from people who have worked there would help a ton! | Any (inside or outside) information on the sectors in the list is welcome! What is a job in that field like? Would you recommend it? |
t3_1e7j6b | AskReddit | Any tips on what to talk to her about? | This is a follow-up to this thread:
So I've organized to have a dinner with her group of friends (I know all of them and includes my roommate and his girlfriend) and my group of friends. So we all know each other (some better than others) and I want to get this one girl better, let's call her K. Since 8 out of the 12 people are in on the fact that I like K, we're trying to organize it so that I sit next to her. The plan is that I chat with her and hopefully get her number. I have an idea of a few topics to talk about. Also, it turns out she lives really close to me back home (we're freshmen in college now). So, naturally I'd like to hang out with her over the summer and become her boyfriend. Obviously, this won't happen unless I talk to her and she also obviously has to like me at least a little. Any tips on what to do or say to make this happen? Thanks in advance, Reddit! | There's a week left of school, and I want to hang out with her over the summer. I have one chance to talk to her tomorrow, what do I say? |
t3_1ztdbj | relationships | My GF[21] Just broke up with me [22M] to get back with her ex BF | Ok so I work on a cruise ship and I met this girl on board about 4 months ago. She is by the far the prettiest and loveliest girl I have ever been with and due to this, (In the back of my mind), I always felt I would never truly be good enough for her. However she told me that her ex bf had broken up with her before she joined and that she was now single and a month after meeting we started seeing each other.
I then finished my contract and went home. I'm due to return very soon but I recently received a message from her telling me she's been talking a lot with her ex bf and that they're getting back together.
She just keeps saying she is sorry and that she still really wants to be friends but I cant honestly say I want to see her face again (although that's almost impossible as we live in a very small enclosed environment)
I feel a little crushed by this as I im not used to getting as close to someone as I did her but what is killing me even more is that im going to have to explain to my parents and friends that it's over and when they ask why im going to have to say because im not good enough for her or that I was such a bad bf that the thought of going back to her ex was the best option.
Basically right now i dont no exactly what to think. Im crushed that she's breaking up with me but whats even worse is having to tell everyone and not only that, feeling that im 2nd best to someone makes me feel like shit and now I have in my head that this may happen all the time and that i might be the reason i've never had very long relationships.
Im not exactly sure why im posting here and im sorry for possibly wasting your time but I just need to get it off my chest and figure out what im going to do when i inevitably see her very soon when i go back. | My gf broke up with me for her ex and im getting depressed by the thought of having to tell everyone and feeling second best |
t3_3j2fp2 | tifu | TIFU by trying too cook fish and chips | It all happened on Friday.
My parents went out to a meeting and left me in charge of cooking the fish and chips in the oven for dinner. Bad idea. I went to turn over the fish whilst it was in the oven and lifted my hand towards the hot surface of the oven. [My ring finger instantly burned.]
When my parents came home my mum, who is also a nurse, told me to put my hand in cold water, then into an ice pack. Ten minutes later, she put burn relief on my finger, then left to do some work. I, being an idiot in immense pain, decided to put on more burn relief because my finger was hurting. Bad idea number 2. I pushed down on the tube of burn relief too hard and squirted it everywhere! I cleaned up my mess and put a band-aid on.
The next morning, [a blister had formed on my burned finger.] However, I became very clumsy and bumped my hand on a table by accident, causing the blister to burst. I had to put another band-aid on to prevent infection.
Fast forward to today and I was in class, doing my schoolwork as usual. I was trying to do my schoolwork and listen to the teacher at the same time, but I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and got a paper cut, [right on the healing burn.](
I am a retard. | tried to cook fish and chips, burned finger in oven, spilled burn relief everywhere, popped blister by accident and got a paper cut on the healing burn. |
t3_1dj3t6 | relationships | I (f21) get upset when my bf(m20) smokes weed, even though it's not often. Is this okay? | Hey everyone! My boyfriend(m20) and I(f21) have been together about 6 months. It's been really great, and I love him a lot blah blah blah, everything else is fine so I don't need to get mushy.
The only thing that bothers me is when he smokes. I admit that he doesn't do it a lot, and I'm not dating a pot head who smokes daily. It's maybe every few weeks. A lot of our friends do it, and do it much more often than him, and rationally I know that (besides being illegal) it's not a big deal. But for some reason that I can't fully explain, it just **bothers** me.
My bf is a highly intellectual and rational person. We've discussed this several times and when I can't back up my reasoning with anything other than emotion, it's like he counts it out as being valid. My feelings aren't empirical evidence so they can't be counted.
I really like this guy, and this is essentially the only thing we disagree on. I'm probably asking the wrong demographic here, but is it **wrong** for this to upset me? Should I just let it go? Any advice on how to brush it off? I don't wanna mess up this relationship in any way, but I can't shake the feeling I get when it happens. | I get upset when my boyfriend occasionally smokes weed. I don't want this to bother me, or mess up our otherwise great relationship. HALP! |
t3_39h5zx | relationships | Me [22 M] with my best friend [23 F] drunkenly kissed. She's dating her best friend and my close friend. I don't know what to do. | Hello Reddit,
The other night my friends and I went out to a party and 2 of us had a little too much to drink. When our other friend was driving us home they stopped at a taco bell, being drunk off our bums, my friend [let's call her Beth] Beth and I stayed in the car. We ended up kissing. I must clarify though that we absolutely do NOT have romantic feelings of any kind for each other. This is where things get a bit complicated though, she's currently dating one of our close friends. They've been having problems lately and I was going through similar romantic woes recently too. And having arguments before drinking alcohol I've learned is not a good combination. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm scared of losing his friendship because he can be the jealous type and I've already started to experience a change in how Beth is treats me. Is there any way to save the friendships? Should I tell my friend even though it was a one-time mistake with nothing behind it? | Best friend and I drunkenly kissed because of romantic problems on both our ends. She's dating our other close friend. Worried that I'll lose both their friendships or be treated differently. WHAT DO I DO!? |
t3_t0cbs | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, have you ever done a good deed and regretted it later? | Mine happened the other day. I was working and a guy comes in and asks if he could use the phone. My manager said that he couldn't. Normally it would be left at that but this guy launched into this story of how his son's mom got his by a semi and was in ICU. They were in Michigan and he was in Pennsylvania. He needed to use the phone to get a taxi to a bus station. This guy was basically in tears. Being the compassionate person I am, I let him use my phone. Now, I work a minimum wage job and am only a teenager, but I pay my phone bill. This guy was on the phone for HOURS. When he finally gave it back, I was almost done with my shift, and he never even got a ride. Later that month when the bill came I found out he made tons of long distance calls and used all my minutes. My bill went up at least $50. | Let a guy use my phone to help him get to his dying family and he jacked up my phone bill $50.... He never even got there. |
t3_38bfr1 | relationships | My (F/23) husband (M/27) gets upset with me over his hygiene | My husband is wonderful. Just as close to perfect as I can imagine. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to take care of himself.
This includes changing boxers after showers for days, not brushing his teeth for sometimes 2 weeks if I don't make him brush, not changing smelly socks, etc.
If I tell him to do it he gets upset and asks me why. I tell him I find it gross and explain how I find it gross.
Yet, somehow we still end up fighting about simple hygiene issues. It shouldn't be an issue. He doesn't normally smell bad. He uses strong deodorant. We have not lived together long. I didn't know these were issues before getting married. What do I do? | Husband doesn't like to brush his teeth or maintain basic hygiene. Wasn't aware of this until after marriage. I am at a loss of what to do. |
t3_33bffd | tifu | TIFU by hitting a classmate with my notebook | This fuck up occurred a few years ago, but it was a fuck up nonetheless. A bit of context, the classmate was a friend of mine and we did stupid shit like this all the time.
So, it was a slow day in math class, most of the students had finished their work and were all talking and whatnot, waiting until class was over. Me and my friend were just about finished with our work, mainly because we were talking and not paying attention all class. He finished first and went to show it to the teacher, while he was away I finished my last exercise and was got up to go to the teacher too. On the way there we both cross paths, him going back to his chair and me going to the teacher. In this moment a light bulb popped from out of my skull with the magnificent idea of hitting him with my notebook, because why not.
As I swing my notebook towards him, he raises his arm to shield himself from the blow. My notebook hits his arm, and his arm hits my notebook full force, causing a massive bang and a shock-wave that shook the entire school. What I didn't realize was that my pencil was lodged in my notebook. The massive blow caused it to go flying off like a bullet and hitting the board in front of the classroom, then ricocheting to a girl's desk. Not a second later I hear the teacher, who also happened to be the school principal, call out my name with the fury of a thousand suns and goes on to ramble about my glorious fuck up, threatening to have me suspended and such. I got sent to the office where my fate was to be decided, and I was sentenced to 3 weeks of community labor.
100% worth it. | Hit friend with notebook, he blocked and it caused a huge bang, pencil flew off like a bullet, teacher wasn't so amused. |
t3_3kjn1l | personalfinance | Refinancing auto loan because I am unsatisfied with the lender | So I have kind of a silly question. A few months ago I bought a car and took out an auto loan for a decent interest rate. The loan was originally through Ally bank, but then soon after the purchase Ally transfered it to a different small bank that I had never heard of. Same interest rate and everything, just a different bank.
This bank is awful. I do all my banking online and my biggest complaint is their website. You can not create an account with them like a normal bank. Each time I submit a payment I have to fill out some sketchy form on their late 90's era website and it has no confirmation or email notification system. I get no proof that I paid on time other than seeing the amount come out of my checking account. I've also tried calling them a few times with questions about how to get my statements, and have been stuck on hold for long periods of time, and been disconnected randomly, or sent through phone trees that hang up on me if I don't select the right option fast enough.
This is very much a "first world problem" so nothing super critical, so I was wondering if this reason alone was enough to refinance with another bank as long as I could refinance to the same or a better interest rate. My credit is decent, nothing amazing since I'm still pretty young, but not bad at all for my age.
So | questions: Would it be an awful idea to refinance? If I did refinance with a different bank, would it be likely to have my loan transferred to a crappy bank again? |
t3_1l52ns | relationship_advice | I [28/m] am considering breaking up with my [23/f] gf over lack of sex. | Hi R-Advice,
I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for about 8 months now. We get along really well (never fight, occasionally debate differing opinions). We enjoy a lot of the same activities and spend quite a bit of time together.
One thing that has been a hangup is not having sex. To me, sex is an important part of a relationship (though not the only one). To her, sex (specifically PIV) is something she wants to save for marriage. I asked her about her reasons and she stated: risk (children / std's), religious morals and simply wanting to save herself.
As for the risk, it seems that it can be mitigated. The religious thing irks me quite a bit, as though I am an open person and think anyone can believe what they want to believe, to think that there is some almighty being that condems such enjoyment (sex) before some made-up aggreement (marriage) baffles me. I think that she wants to "save herself" is reasonable. But the thing is, she's ok with many other sexual acts (I can rub myself between her lips on the outside, but I can't go in the hole). This might be what gets me the most as this is by all means sex as much as anything else (in the eyes of the church, risk and certainly doesn't seem like she's saving _that_ much else for that special someone). We both get off frequently, but it's like I have to have her do it instead of being able to share in the moment.
I'm certainly not ready to get married anytime soon, and as a consequence seriously fear the fact that I won't be sharing the loving bond of sex anytime soon.
I feel like this has actually prevented me from becoming fully attached. We haven't been able to share the sacred mutual bond and it leaves me this unfulfilled connection. | gf of 8 months wont have sex (religion/morals/risk) and it's leaving me feeling unattached. |
t3_31smqv | relationships | I [22/M] am seeing a girl [F/22] and it is turning into an odd situation, could use some advice! | Around August of last year I met this girl on Tinder who lived in another city from mine and instantly we hit it off. It was almost like talking to a female reflection of myself and vice versa for her. But due to me being in a bad mental state anxiety wise and not making a move we kinda just ended up as whatsapp buddies for months.
She started dating a guy while I was swamped with work and we became very good friends.
It changed a bit around January. Suddenly it just became very romantic and intense and we started falling for each other. We spent hours talking on the phone every night, met up a few times, planning future things together etc. It was all going toward the direction of a relationship, nothing too unusual there.
As we got more serious, she started to panic a little bit and made it clear she did not want a relationship, wanted to stay casual and sleep with other people. I'm a pretty chill guy so it didn't bother me really, I agreed. No problems. I didn't really want anything serious either but if it naturally went that way cool was my attitude.
But here's the thing, we have gotten very close. And the lines between casual and serious are getting very blurred. She is very open about sex and talks about other guys and who she wants to sleep with and what have you. Rational me has no problem with this. But it has started freaking me out. Like whatever odd type situation we find ourselves I still feel like it's bad form. I get jealous!
Yet she has told me before she feels the same when I talk about other girls in the same way.
I could go on but basically this whole thing is getting very messy and I have started to long for a normal situation. Girl and boy meet, like each other, get together. As time goes on and we get closer I just can't visualize myself being cool with having something casual with someone I care so deeply about.
And I am starting to wonder if I'm becoming a boyfriend without the title. Providing emotional support without the hassle of the responsibility of a relationship. Should I just stop this right now and get out while I can? | Girl wants to sleep with other people and stay casual, relationship has turned serious but still wants to sleep with others. What should I do? |
t3_2cgsrt | askwomenadvice | Choosing between my ex and a new guy | My boyfriend [M/20] of almost a year broke up with me [F/19] about 3 weeks ago. His reasons for breaking up were logical (busy school year coming up and long distance would be hard) and because of this there was not any serious bad blood. Our relationship previous to this had been sweet, normal, and healthy. About 2 weeks after the breakup, he expressed that he wants to get back together and that he has made a new mistake. He has been very persistent and emotional in trying to convince me to get back together with him, but I am hesitant for a few reasons:
1) After we broke up, I began hanging out with an acquaintance [also M/20] with whom I've developed mutual feelings. He wants to become more serious, but my gut tells me that it's just not a good idea right now. However, I am very much enjoying the time we spend together and it is clear that this man cares about me. 2) School IS going to begin soon and I WILL have a crazy workload, so none of the logical reasons for breaking up have been resolved. This is also a reason to evade becoming more serious with the new guy.
So my questions is how am I supposed to make a choice between the two? Or should I just hold off from all serious stuff completely? | My recent ex-boyfriend and a new man I've been seeing both want me to get more serious with them and it's stressing me out because I'm busy and don't know how to choose one, if either. |
t3_4amoy3 | relationships | I'm [26m] about to take a girl I'm really into [19f] on a date, but scheduling is all kinds of wacky. | I've been out of the dating game for a long time. We'll start off with that. It's been about 5 years since I've had a legitimate date. I've had sex since, but no dating.
Enter girl. She's younger than me, which is fine. She's pretty, she's ambitious, she's fun, she's all the things I like in a friend + attractive to me. So, I ask her out, she says yes, all things are great.
The only problem is that her schedule is not ideal. She works from 2-10pm every day. I asked if she'd prefer at night after her work or during the day before work and she opted for after work.
If it was earlier, we could do something. We could go to the bowling alley, we could go to the putt putt golf place, we could catch a goofy flick. But my town is relatively small and there isn't much to do at night other than go to a bar (which she's not old enough to enjoy). There are two restaurants available - iHOP and some mexican restaurant right across from iHOP. The movie theatre is showing a couple of movies, but Deadpool is the only one that is starting late enough. I don't think that's really first-date material.
So, suggestions? Something non-conventional? I really like this girl and I really think something cool could happen between us. | My town has little-to-nothing to do when the girl I'm dating is available; what are some non-conventional ideas for a first date that would be cool? |
t3_3fktp6 | relationships | [22 M] with my [22 F] 5.5 year relationship, sex has waned down? Don't know many people in long term relationships so I wonder if anyone else experiences this? | Sex lately has been slower...much slower. I'm a 5 times a week kind of guy and we used to do it much more. It seems as though we have months of no sex and then months of alot of sex but this time the 'no sex period' is lasting much longer than usual. I attribute this to her stopping birth control and getting an IUD last month. Even before the IUD we were on a 'slow' period of about a month, probably had sex 3-4 times the month before the IUD. I thought an IUD would mean LOTS and LOTS of unprotected sex but since last month nothing really changed. Nothing is wrong with our relationship, we live together, support each other, and so and so forth. Anyone one else in a long term relationship have 'cycles' in their sex lives?
If this didn't belong in this subreddit then sorry! Wasn't sure where to put it. | My SO and I have been together for ~5.5 years and I notice we have 'cyclic periods of sexual activity or none at all'. Any comments? |
t3_1qclj5 | relationships | Me 20/M confused by 18/F who's in LDR..Need some advice. | So some backstory..
Started the new year at College (i'm in my third year and she's in first). Met her at a social event where no-one knew anyone else, we both were talking to other people for a while and then once we started talking we didn't stop all night, where she mentioned her boyfriend.. - eventually I walked her back to hers and called it a night.
Now we talked briefly for a couple of weeks until we met up for another social, where again things went great. I ended up walking her back to hers and we stayed up talking all night, didn't sleep a wink, I didn't make a move because I respect the fact she has a boyfriend (she's been going out with him for about a year, obviously it's now a long distance relationship for her) though she mentioned how he's very needy and he loves her more than him etc..We've actually talked a lot about things she's never even told him..
We then proceeded to spend pretty much the entire week together, going to the movies, watching a movie around hers while drinking..which resulted in me sleeping over and we fell asleep in bed, again nothing happened - I didn't push anything at all just sorta decided at 4am we should probably stop talking and go to sleep.
Now she went away for the weekend on a trip and has been messaging me all weekend, which has been nice but I'm feeling slightly confused about the whole situation. To be honest I actually don't have much experience in this, I'm studying Medicine and have always been putting my career/studying above everything. I wouldn't call myself the most attractive person (I also seem to have massive confidence issues in this area ha).
I'm just wondering what all this means? We've talked more in a week than I would have thought possible and I truly would love to ask her out..I just don't know if I can/should or if she's just being a really good friend.....
Any advice possible would be nice. Thanks. | Met a girl, got on like a house on fire, spent huge amounts of time together. But she is in LDR, which I respect, but mentions some negative things about him. Don't know what to do. |
t3_22yz1o | relationship_advice | [18/f] In a LDR while at college, he [19/m] is becoming more and more clingy, while I'm starting to like someone else. Help? | It's my second semester at college. I've been dating my boyfriend since July 1st, 2012. But when I saw him over spring break, everything felt really weird, even just being alone with him and hanging out. Then I come back to school, and I start flirting with one of my friends who I just thought was attractive before, but I'm realizing I kind of like him. Now every Friday he and I smoke and drink and it's all really fun, and there's lots of flirting, and a couple of my friends thinks he really likes me too. But he has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend. And recently my boyfriend has gotten very clingy, needing to text me constantly and even going so far as to tell me what I should and should not wear, if it's too "revealing". He says he's been having nightmares of me breaking up with him or leaving him and he's just really sad all the time. Taking all of that into account, should I go on a break or break up with my boyfriend to see what happens with this guy, or to just have a relationship-free college experience? I'm just so confused. | LDR college boyfriend is getting pretty annoying and clingy, and I like one of my friends who unfortunately has a girlfriend, but it feels like we flirt a lot. What do I do? |
t3_g0v6q | AskReddit | What are the most productive (or stupidest) things you've tried to do get over a failed romantic relationship? | I don't have many romantic relationship. I tend to get involved with female friends who I admire a lot. This makes breakups extra difficult because I really do not want to just go cut them off cold turkey. However, I've learned the hard way that I cannot be friends with these girls :-/.
**Dumb**
When me and one of my ex girlfriends broke up we decided to remain friends and even went on a few double dates. I realized this friend thing wasn't working when, directly after one double date, she ended up coming over and we had a fucking marathon for like 2-3 days.
A few week later , I get an IM from her telling me that the dude from her double date is now her boyfriend and that I shouldn't text her as much because he might get jealous. I played it off like it was cool but, in reality, it totally crushed me all over again. After some painful weeks, I decided to change my number and cut her off completely.
Not very smart of me.
**Productive**
Trying not to repeat my last mistake, after my latest relationship failure, I decided to keep my space from the girl. This was very difficult because I actually work at the same company.
I tried dating other girls to keep myself preoccupied but this just lead to the inevitable comparison and the feeling of loneliness begun to creep in.
Finally, I decided to use my time by working on one of my favorite things: web development. I normally work with a 4-5 people team but, for this project, I thought it would be fun to work on a project I thought would be cool on my lonesome. Working by myself was a great experience. Although it might end up being a failed venture, I learned an amazing amount and enjoyed it.
The focus and time required for the project kept me too preoccupied to worry about the breakup. I wish I'd of taken this approach after past breakups! | After trying to stay friend and trying to move on quickly, I learned that keeping myself busy with a hobby I enjoyed is really what I needed to recover and recharge my batteries after a failed relationship. |
t3_2iz0x1 | relationships | Me [21M] with my now ex[24F] were together for 2 years, need advice on how to talk to her..? | Basically, me and my now ex GF split up because of my actions, and we still love each other and want to have a future together, but we seemed distant and didn't have much communication near the last two months of our relationship. We would give each other simple replies and not go into detail about anything.
Recently we've tried to have a friendship together, and it seems to be going well, but I just don't know what things to talk about with her... If I bring up the wrong thing she won't reply to me, and if it's the right thing it's talk talk talk, which is what I want. But, when it's the wrong thing, that's like it, done talking all day... I really want things to work out, but don't want to force it on her. It's harder too talk to her also, cause we know so much about each other. | Me and ex still love each other, need more communication and things to talk about... Also if you guys need more info, I am free to answer it... |
t3_1279oq | relationship_advice | [16/f] Have I messed things up completely with [17/m]? | I was in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months and around the last month and a half of the relationship, I could tell he was losing interest in me, so I brought it up to him. He said he still had feelings for me, and he's sorry for being a dick to me, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I understood that he was probably under a lot of stress and it's just a high school relationship, but he started being really cold to me at school and on the rare occasion that he did call me, we would end up fighting. This made me really upset because I honestly wouldn't care so much that he didn't want to be in a romantic relationship with me anymore if he was still kind to me because I miss my best friend. Anyway, I ended up becoming obsessed with him not being nice to me and I sent him several angry texts, Facebook messages, and made a lot of emotional phone calls and I know that just pushed him away even more. He hasn't tried to contact me first outside of school in a week and I deleted his number so even if I did freak out again, I would have no means of contacting him and making things worse than they already are. I still have strong feelings for him, but I've accepted the fact that he probably won't want to be in a relationship with me again. I want to know if you guys think that there is a chance that he'll be my friend again if I give it some time or if I've totally messed things up with him with my obsessive messages/calls. This has been making me sad for a while now because I really don't want a bad relationship to ruin the close friendship we had before. | I'm certain I've ruined everything with my ex relationship-wise, but I want to know if you guys think there is hope of me rekindling the friendship eventually. |
t3_1lhxk7 | relationships | [21M] with my girlfriend [21F] for 2.5 years, Uniquely religious family greatly disapproves and has given me ultimatums | I am head over heels in love with this girl and believe this relationship is very serious and definitely long term. I secretly live with her (my family doesn't know), we have a pet together, I consider her my best friend, and spend almost every day with her. We get along amazing and we have more in common together than I have had with even my best guy friends.
I was unfortunate enough to be born into a small unique religion however that is both closed to people who want to convert and very strict. I had no choice, because apparently a thousand years ago my soul signed a contract to be a part of it forever. I love my culture but I hate the religion. The biggest no no is that I can't marry outside my religion and if I do, I am ostracized from my family and my home. Lucky for me...my girlfriend is not from my religion..let alone any religion. My father has given me multiple ultimatums, ex. break up with her or leave this house. Every time he's reluctantly taken it back after I refuse to have it his way. I love my family so much, but it's hard when they are so harsh and close minded. It's horrible if I bring her home to even meet my family (even though hers have been amazing to me), and my family tears her down like she's not even a human being just because she isn't from my religion.
I don't know what to do...I got in a huge fight with my father today because I can't bring her with me to my home country for my semester break. He said she's a wedge in our family and that it was hard enough for him to accept her as my girlfriend. He said it's either her or my family....I can't make that decision. She's the love of my life and I love my family. I don't know what to do. Please help | My family says they would never accept my girlfriend and I will have to choose between the two of them. I love both too much to make that decision. |
t3_2d9x9k | relationships | Me [32/F] with a guy I like [37/M]; Getting mixed signals, don't know what to do? | This guy I have casually known for about 2 years now, he pulled me aside one day and told me that he really likes me, and has liked me, for a very long time. He's spoken to mutual friends about how much he likes me, and I have been told he's made songs about me (all of which I find adorable). I was a bit blindsided by this confession, definitely didn't see it coming, at all, but I was receptive to us hanging out and seeing what happens. I initiated any possible hang out time, he's yet to hang out with me. He sent me a message saying he's super interested in me, and that he wanted to hang out, to meet him at our local bar. He never showed up. I kind of gave up after that, but then, after some time, I saw him again at the local bar. We were drinking, he told me he likes me more than he's admitting, I said I like him, too, we made out for a bit, but that's about it.
I see him all the time posting crap on facebook about how he just wants a girlfriend that's like a friend, and that all he wants is to be in a relationship with someone who understands him. Of course, I take this very personal. I don't know what signals he's throwing at me, but I am getting very confused and have been feeling really shitty about myself for it for some time now (this has been going on for about 3 months). I don't know what to do. Do I pursue? Do I give up? Do I tell him he's being a dick? You'd think shit would be easier at my age... | Guy tells me he likes me and and is interested in seeing me, but pretty much refuses to hang out with me. Do I walk away, keep trying, or admit to him he's hurting me with his actions? |
t3_2kuecx | tifu | TIFU by showing a girl I like a picture of a mutilated mouse | Ok, so this story starts off last night. The house I live in has a bit of a mouse problem (especially right before winter). As i was cleaning out my closet, I discovered a hole in the wall. There were signs of rodent activity around it, and I concluded that it was a mouse hole. So, I put a trap next to it with some peanut butter on it. Later that night, i caught a mouse. Feeling victorious, I took [a picture] of the catch and put it on my snapchat story.
Now we go to the following day. On my way driving back from practice, I saw a sign on the side of the road that I thought was funny, and stopped to take a picture of it. That night, we were having a team dinner. I sat across from a couple of girls (both are kind of quiet in the first place), one of which I have been meaning to get to know better. The waiter comes and takes our orders, and things are kind of awkward. So to make conversation, I decide to show them the picture of the sign I took (I had posted it to my story).
Now for anyone unfamiliar with how snapchat works, you can take a picture of something and send it to someone, or put it on your story, which means all of your friends can see it for 24 hours. So I open up my phone and hold the screen to display my story, and say to them, "Look at this!" Their faces are surprised for a second, and the twist to horror. One of them asks "Who sent you that?" Confused, I turn the screen around and see the picture of this dead mouse, with its head smashed in and its eyes bugging out. I immediately exclaim "Fuck", and tap it again to show the picture of the sign. I then showed this picture to them. They laugh nervously and the rest of the meal was awkward. | I showed a picture of a mutilated mouse to my crush at a team dinner and made the rest of the night uncomfortable. |
t3_2uzj5i | relationships | My [23 F] almost-girlfriend moved away from me [22 M] to another city because of the job. Should I move too? | Well, long story short, my friend moved to another city as soon as we decided to start building relationships. She's a really ambitious person and moved without hesitations when she was proposed a job she wanted, leaving me behind. Now I have a dilemma - should I move to her and leave my job (which I really, really like) and family, or let it all go and sob into a pillow because of the FEELS? Maybe I sound like a douche, but she is not doing that much for them (instead of "waiting"), so I kinda feel like a boy on the leash. Besides, both of us are not into the relationships on the distance because, well, she will get bored and simply leave me and I have a problem with relationships on the distance because all of my previous love affairs were on the distance and I can't take it anymore. It's like my curse.
It's all confusing, I am not a smart man when it comes to relationships and stuff, and I am afraid that I will make a wrong choice. Hold me reddit!
p.s. sorry for teh grammar, I am not a native speaker. | Move to another city leaving everything I have and try to start the relationships from scratch, or stay at home with a broken heart (oh my god so lame hurrdurr)? |
t3_2gy1bj | relationships | My (25/f) aunt (55/f) gave me a defective iPhone. How should I approach this? | My aunt and I always had a good relationship. I'm on her Verizon plan and we both had an upgrade for an iPhone 6. To clarify, I paid for phone and I pay for my portion of the plan. She is just the account holder. She pays only for hers. She texted me when she got the phone and activated hers. She was going to drop my phone off later that night after she got home from work.
She then started texting me telling me how pissed off she is because her phone wasn't working correctly. She said there was a defect on the screen. I was texting her back and forth about it. She said they can't replace it until next week. She kept saying "I hope yours isn't like that" and my SO pretty much predicted what happened next. I go home, get the phone. It's defective just like she described. She swapped it.
I don't know what to do now. It's fairly obvious that she realized that one was defective so took the the other box. I need to talk to her ASAP and don't know what to say. I'm really pissed off. I don't want a bad relationship or drama but I feel like it was a really shitty thing to do. | Aunt ordered me an iPhone because I'm on her plan. She got two. Opened a defective one and gave it to me. |
t3_m49zy | running | About to use KT Tape for the first time to alleviate ankle pain ...any advice? (x-post from /r/advancedrunning) | jawbroke13.1, 26.2, 70.3 (Student)
So, since early October I have run 3 half marathons, and 1 full marathon(my first), and its been going great. For the half marathon my times average @2:02, and I finished the marathon @5:21 (pushing a stroller with my two yr-old) After the first two half marathons, I realized that the inside of my ankle was starting to get very tender right around the ankle bone, so for the third HM I opted to run with a compression ankle sleeve...Much better. For the marathon, I used the same brace and I got much further before I felt any real discomfort. At mile 19, OUCH...started getting very hot on the inside of my ankle, forcing me to change my step for my right foot, and implement the 10:1 that I learned about in /r/running. The rest of the run hurt like hell, but thanks to my training I felt like that was my only problem. Needless to say, BIG PROBLEM for the 7 miles left. It's been about two weeks since the run, no lasting pain, and I've had two 5K's since then. Doesn't really hurt, but I am VERY conscious of my ankle every step of the way. I am running the San Antonio R&R Marathon on the Nov.13th (no stroller) and I was wondering if I should go sans sleeve using KT instead? There is no real way I can "test" it because I have been tapering and the problems arise on the later miles.After much research, I've pinpointed the pain to the Posterior Tibial Tendon (PTT) right foot, and found some great KTTaping vids for precisely this. I knew you guys would be the one to ask, any advice helps... thanks again. | Marathon in a week, usually I run with an ankle sleeve but I want to use KT tape instead for this run...Should I? |
t3_4ehmzv | relationships | Does this count as cheating? (Me:23M, Her:23F) | I had a Facebook conversation with a girl I used to like 5 years ago, but not anymore. I was in a relationship with another girl since 3 weeks when this conversation happened with the girl mentioned above:
(she could not send me some messages on FB due to an error)
* Me: Facebook probably wants me to see you sad.
* Her: Then make me happy. :)
* Me: Do I have a reason?
* Then topic has changed to school stuff, said goodbye to each other, and did not talk ever since.
(Ex)gf found the conversation 2 months later, said she can't trust me anymore at all. In response, I blocked the girl on Facebook I was talking with, gave my (ex)gf my FB password, did not talk with any other girl at all. She could not trust me still, then we later broke up.
I'm getting mixed opinions about this situation and I am really curious about yours. Is this counts as cheating? Can I be labeled as a cheater? | Texted with a girl I used to like years ago, not sure if I count as a cheater or not. |
t3_3m34ek | loseit | [SV] Two scales, both alike in dignity... | It had been a while since I was really active in this sub. My friend's wedding came and went, and with it some of my motivation for weight loss. (Some.) I knew I wasn't eating as well as I had been, and that my weight loss would slow, but I wasn't really prepared for what happened next.
I'd gotten down to 201. I stepped on the scale and it said 207.8. "That can't be right," I said. I let the scale (digital) recalibrate itself and stepped back on. 202.4. "Huh, that's a huge variation. I'll try again and see if it gives me the same number now." I let it recalibrate again. 206.2.
I stopped trusting my scale. I'd get on once in the morning, note it, and go about my day. Recently it had been creeping upward on my first checkups, usually somewhere around 207/208, but if I tried to get the same number twice it kept giving me different numbers. As you might guess, it got old quick!
Over the weekend I bought a new scale, since my trust in that one had been broken. I set it up, calibrated it, and this morning stepped on... to find I'm 200lb (90.7kg) exactly. I was so surprised that I immediately grabbed one of my weights to check and be sure and *yes*, when I stepped on with a 5lb weight it read 205.
I feel a little bit like I'm floating with happiness now. :) With any luck the run I'll be taking later on today will reflect that! | Old scale told me I was 207lb this morning and changes every time I step on. New scale tells me 200 no matter how many times I go back to check! |
t3_wiqkb | AskReddit | Who is in the wrong here? | So the other day, I went out to the bar with a couple friends. While we are there my friend invites this girl he knows to meet us there. Apparently they have been hooking up for a little while and he wanted to get some action that night. After the bar, we all go back to my place and just hang out. We had all had a couple drinks, but nothing too far.
We get to talking and I ask if anyone would want to hang out and have drinks on my patio the next day (I had a couple different friends coming over and figured why not invite a couple more?). Everyone says they are busy except the girl. She says she's free and could swing by when I'm done with work. My friend doesn't say anything and doesn't give me a stink eye or anything, so figured it was cool.
Next day, I had 3 of my friends over and she comes too. We end up hanging out until 1AM or so. The friend who is hooking up with her couldn't come because he was working.
The next day, I got a text from him saying something to the effect of "how were you hanging out with ____ last night? No more hanging out with my fuckybuddies. I'm trying to lessen her presence in my life and she is trying to move in on it."
Obviously I didn't know he was trying to avoid her (he invited her out just the other night). So I apologize and say it won't happen again, but she had already made plans to hang out with our group again this Sunday.
Now she just texted me to see if I wanted her to bring anything for Sunday (we were going to barbeque or something). Is my friend being childish or am I intruding? I thought that if he didn't want us hanging out with her, he shouldn't have invited her in the first place.... | Friend has fuckbuddy. Fuckbuddy hangs out with me and other friends. Friend gets pissed because he doesn't want her in his life (despite the fact that he is still having sex with her) |
t3_3y1zmf | Advice | How do you stop stupid drama when it first starts? | Got a new job that pays well for a college student. There are only 2 other employees that share the same job. Since this job doesn't have a high turnover rate I must be nice and friendly because I will be seeing them a lot. They are both women(I am a male) that are slightly older than me and have been working this job for several years. Now they are not very attractive and (sorry for cockiness) I know I am attractive.
Over the first two weeks I had successful conversations with the both of them and had set up a nice routine. Well the wrench gets thrown in when our boss hires a new girl and let me tell you. She is HOT, her name is "Emma" and I knew her from elementary school. So I may have talked to Emma a bit more friendly than the others.
I was assigned to give her a tour, get her trained, and to drive her to a place to do extra paperwork. Well after spending an entire day teaching her and catching up(we also talked about personal stuff too... She initiated that) I figured she likes me too. So we flirt all day.
Drama starts here. She knows one of the other employees we work with Jenna (she is just a coworker to me) and informs me not only does Jenna like me she thinks her(as in Jenna) and I are talking(read: I must be nice and friendly). So I noted that.
Tonight I got a text from Jenna saying
"You like Emma"
I did not respond and my reads are off.
How do I stop this completely as I'm starting to figure out from other experiences with Jenna that she is a Drama Queen and I know the wrong thing said will just be terrible? | Drama queen at work likes me and is trying to cockblock me/start drama. What do I do to calm her down, still retain the girl that also likes me, and most importantly keep the job environment healthy? |
t3_2y450y | relationships | My bestfriend [20M] and I[18M] get into fights about his dog | My bestfriend has a dog that he doesn't take care and refuses to do so. All he does is yell at him when he has scratching fits and doesn't do anything.
His parents don't take care of him either but I'm not sure if I should call someone or not. We get into arguments a lot due to the fact that he needs to take care of his dog and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to see his dog suffer because all he does is cry and whine but I can't take him in.
Any advice you guys? | my bestfriend doesn't take care of his dog and neither does his parents. Not sure if I should call to take him away or not. |
t3_2haf2p | tifu | TIFU twice at my new job | So I just started my new job last week. I will be taking over one of my team member's jobs and so I am trying to learn his responsibilities. I was there for 3 days before he left on vacation for 3 weeks so there's a nice load of stress. Anyway I come into the the office and my other team member makes a comment about how if I was a little more trained he'd be on a plane to Venezuela right now. I laugh out loud and say "Haha yeah!" thinking he was referring to going on a vacation as well. As I'm still smiling, he turns with a saddened face and tells me his step-father died and he wanted be on a plane to go to his funeral. I stutter trying to play my way out of my initial response but there was no way out. I wanted to fall through the floor into a separate universe. Fuck up number one.
Part of my job also requires that I complete a number of courses over the next few years to develop myself. I get an email mentioning a course that I need to enroll in and that if I can't find a local offering, to enroll in another area or wait until the next year in the local area (AFTER obtaining manager approval). I decide to check out the other areas and find the course is also offered in Texas (I live in Alberta). There's a link entitled "click here" beside the course name. I decide I want to check out the course details and click the link. Instantly I get taken to a page that says I am now enrolled. I think "shit" and click the drop button. A message pops up that says "caution, dropping the course within 365 days of start date will incur 100% of the course cost." I go back to the original email and see later on that it mentions as soon as you click the link there is no dropping or refunds possible. The course is 2 weeks long and costs my department $6,500 plus airfare and lodging. I guess I'm going to Texas next month... | Lol'd at my team member's dead dad and irreversibly dropped thousands of dollars on a course on 4,000 kms away |
t3_rdvjw | relationships | Confessing my feelings to a friend via letter. Is this a good idea? | As the title clearly says, I wrote a letter ( three pages ) to a friend of mine. I've known her for almost 3 years but we've been friends for about a year. For anonymity I'll just say we're both HS sophomores, me male. A lot of my friends know I have a reddit account, so I'm just being safe.
Going on. We're really good friends; we talk a lot on the phone, share similar interests and like the same music. And I know the risk I am taking. I'm just nervous, and curious, is this the best idea (she loves letters)? She is the first person I've ever had serious feelings before and something tells me this isn't the best way. | Love A close friend. Ready to give her a 3 paged letter tomorrow (today?) telling her so. Not sure anymore though. |
t3_1jv6s8 | dating_advice | Ridiculous amounts of texting, initiated by me (26/M), continued by her (24/F). | I play what's basically a rec league sport. I have a female teammate, who we can call Sam. Sam doesn't talk a lot at practice, I'm an offensive line captain, and she is generally put on our defensive line so we are rarely on the same team. After our practices we generally go out for some drinks, but she rarely comes.
Anyway, I text her saturday night to see what she's doing, and she winds up being kind of busy. No big deal. She continues texting me for literal days. Like, when we start work til when we went to sleep, we were texting. The second day of this, she says something about how she's kiiiind of seeing a guy who lives in a different city, but not really. Continues texting. Up until this point, I had taken her persistent texting and willingness for a very, very long conversation as interest. That basically killed it. But she continues texting.
I have no idea what's happening. She's leaving town for a week or so, and I've asked her to hang out with me but she's busy preparing for her trip.
Honest to Yeesus, I have no idea why she's been texting me this much if she's kind of seeing another guy, or why she won't just shoot me down.
I don't get it. | I ask a girl what she's doing, becomes 4 day text conversation. Reportedly "kiiiiind of seeing" a guy a few hours away, reportedly too busy to hang out, continues snapchat/text. |
t3_2burqh | askwomenadvice | Have you ever been "phased out" by a group of friends? What did you do? | Hi fellow redditing ladies, I think my long-time (10+ years) friends are slowly trying to phase me out of our social group. Sometimes I simply couldn't go out with them, due to geography (I moved several hours away up until a short time ago), but now I'm back for the foreseeable future, have let everyone know of my presence and have received no response from but one of 6 friends.
Over the course of my time away (about 10 months this time around, 2 years before that), I've sent messages and called to the best of my ability, but as time has worn on, it became constantly me initiating the contact, and receiving less and less response from them. Thanks to the magic of iMessage/Facebook read receipts, I know they've seen my messages. Sure enough, I've been back in the city where we all live over a week and despite asking to join in on whatever they're doing at a given time, I've not been invited anywhere despite a lukewarm "We should totally get together sometime!" on the part of one. This has happened over the last few times I've visited on a holiday as well. Unfortunately, I'm not really set up in a space to have people over at the moment, and won't be for a few weeks.
I've been suspicious of this for a while, and now all the more. All the same, I'm a little prone to over-reaction. I don't know what to do. We've known each other for so long, have been through so much together, all know such intimate secrets about each other, etc. that I feel it would be a shame to lose them, but at the same time, I'm sick of putting myself out there to get nothing in return. I'm at the point of throwing my hands up, saying "Fine, to hell with the lot of you" and taking a new job elsewhere. If any of you have ever been in a similar situation, how did you react and how did it play out? Thanks in advance. | I've felt for a while my close friends are drifting away from me, more with intent than by hazard. What can I do? Is it worth trying to re-integrate in their lives or should I move on? |
t3_380lwu | askwomenadvice | I [M27] am looking for some advice for my fiancé and I(sex stuff, thus the NSFW tag) | All in all, I feel that we have a rather healthy relationship. We have sex 2-3 times a week and we spend a great deal of time together, so our physical closeness is at a very good stage I think.
A while back, I asked if she enjoyed giving me head at all(it is my biggest turn-on and my all time favorite fantasy regarding her; sorry if that's sort of vanilla), and she told me that she doesn't hate it, but she doesn't love it either, so fairly 'meh' about it.
We haven't really done this summer I asked last time, about a month or so ago, so I asked her again today and delved a bit deeper, asking if there was something in particular that she wasn't crazy about, thinking I could fix it and make it enjoyable for both parties. She replied by saying that it's okay while she's giving me head, but that afterwards she gets a bad neck pain, which is the main reason it doesn't happen often
Now, I went on to ask if there was anything I could do to make it less uncomfortable and such, but she started feeling like I was pushing for it. She felt like I didn't feel she did enough for me unless I was getting head all the time (honestly I'd be fine with once every couple weeks or something, I'm not needy). This was resolved, so not really important to the post.
The question in the end is; does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with neck pain caused by fellatio? I really receiving it, and the neck pain is the only thing that bugs my fiancé about it.
Any advice would be super. | Fiancé gets bad neck pain after giving me fellatio, would like to know any tips that keep her from hurting when she does this. |
t3_30uwur | relationships | Me [20M] with my Girlfriend [20F] nearly 3 years, She can't imagine her life without me, I don't feel like I am in love | A few weeks ago i told my girlfriend i wanted to break up but after talking for a bit about it and about our dog it was decided that we would try and work on it. At this point I don't feel like it was my decision to try and work it out. I feel manipulated into staying and i don't feel like i love her. She told me that she can't imagine not being with me. We do have a good non emotional relationship as well as a good sexual one. But i don't feel like we are even very good friends at this point. I don't confide in her like I used to and lately we have been communicating less and less.
Now, three weeks later nothing has changed. It feels loveless to me but she still loves me. The terrible part for me is that i don't have a reason to tell her why i am not in love anymore. We just feel incompatible and i get generally annoyed by her/ would rather not hangout with her. But we have a dog together and I don't know what to do about her. I don't want to lose my dog but i don't think shared custody of a dog is fair to it. It may just be better for her to keep it because her parents have other dogs and she'll get more attention living with her as i am a full time student.
So really my question is how would i even go about breaking up with her. We live together, share a dog, are on each others bank accounts and i live with her at her parents house. I feel like i'll become the enemy while trying to gather my things. I don't want to hurt her but i feel as if i am just dragging it out and it isn't fair to either of us to be in a relationship where i don't love her and she doesn't feel anything is wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to gather my stuff while she is at work and tell her i really want to break up when she got home and leave immediately after. Just come back the following day when she is gone to gather my other things? Or am i really in the wrong here and we just need to work it out? | I tried to breakup and she convinced me to try fixing it. But she's made almost no effort to actually fix anything and i still don't feel in love. |
t3_1cvzcm | AskReddit | What if the Berlin Wall never fell? | I am an American student studying German. I am looking to start a discussion about what would have happened if the Berlin Wall never fell? I am simply curious as to what theories there are as I am sure many people have talked about this before. In fact, what sparked the falling of the wall was actually a mistake. A mere slip of the tongue. I was originally going to post this to /r/Germany but it is not specific to just Germany. This would have impacted the whole world and therefore I am interested in hearing everyone's opinion.
Personally I believe that if not for the fall of the Berlin Wall there would of eventually been a war between the Allies and Russia/West Germany resulting in further damage to the German people/land. Maybe even resulting in the destruction of Germany altogether. however my opinion is based on merely speculation and I am sure there are much better theories out there. | I believe if the wall had not fallen there would be another war between the allies and russia/west germany. What do you think? |
t3_kx9t2 | relationships | Reddit, am I being hyper-sensitive and clingy or do I have legitimate concern(m)? | So, there is this girl that I have been seeing for about 6 months. We started out taking it slowly and I think that that was a smart choice. We started hanging out more and have been getting increasingly serious. I officially made her my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. Well she works full time and I go to school and work so we have limited free time. For me, I would like to spend a good deal of this time with her. But often when I ask her to hang out she'll say that "she is tired" or will be hanging out with different people. She is admittedly a reserved person who is "hard to get to know"-her words. I feel like even though we have been going out for a while she still acts as if she is playing it cool. Well I get hurt when she doesn't show initiative to hang out, it hurts my feelings that she doesn't want to spend as much time with me as I do with her. I asked her to tell me how she really feels about me and she says that really likes me. She also said it would make her sad if we parted. I really like this girl, but her reservedness, her lack of initiative to hang out makes me feel like she doesn't reciprocate my feelings. However, when I go to say something like "I wish you would make time for me," or "don't you want to see me?" I feel clingy. And I hate feeling clingy. What do you think? Should I break up with her? Is this normal behavior? Has anyone else experienced something similar? | I really like this girl but after 6 months she is still distant and consistently declines my offers to spend time together. We pretty much only see each other on Saturdays. Considering breaking up with her. |
t3_4g0q9i | cats | Cat has made it a routine to go potty whenever I get settled down on my laptop? | So basically I'll put it like this:
I have a cat, four year old Ragdoll breed girl. She's a healthy and happy kitty. I like to game and where I sit when I game is at a table in the basement, and her litter box is about 5 metres behind me. Now you might ask, doesn't it get stinky sitting so close to it? Well, not really, because I clean it every day. The thing is that whenever I come downstairs to game on my laptop or just do stuff on my laptop in general she ALWAYS goes to the litter box. It may seem like I'm over dramatizing but I literally mean always. As a result I after getting settled into whatever I'm doing I have to get up again and go scoop up the stuff or else everything starts to smell as one would expect.
Just as I finish typing this, she came downstairs, threw up a hairball (nice bonus today) and then went and did her business in the litter box.
Is this normal? Should I not get irritated by this? It's just an annoyance that it happens almost every single day that I'm downstairs. | Cat goes potty every single time I come to sit at my desk which is close to the litterbox. Should I not be annoyed? |
t3_2x6n45 | relationships | [22F] Having insecurity issues with my Bf [19 M] of 2y, starting to affect intimacy. | I put on a little weight in the past three months or so. It's somewhere from 5 to 8 pounds I'm guessing, but I can't say for sure because I'm pretty sure my scale is crappy. When boyfriend and I start doing sexy stuff I just freeze up. I really hate how I look right now. It's very silly, yes, but I want to cry, don't want to take my clothes off, and just want to hide under the covers. I really like sex and have a healthy libido, so that's not the problem. I just get this big mental block that makes me insanely self-aware and kills any enthusiasm I may have had a minute ago.
I've always had pretty bad problems with body image... I know it's damn common for all women, but I was anorexic at some point and am depressed in life if I am not perfectly happy with how I look. I understand this is a really ridiculous and selfish problem, but I haven't been able to shake it since I was 12.
I'm not asking for some miracle solution. I just don't want to start having big problems or fights with my boyfriend; we have a good thing going. Just advice on feeling confident in bed would be helpful. | Gained some weight and can't get into sexy times because of it. Starting to cause tension between me and boyfriend. Help on how to feel more confident? |
t3_17bxv8 | BreakUps | On and off for 8 years, broken up for the last 18 months but still have sex regularly. 20f (me) and 20m | Started going out in school when we were 12 and have broken up and gotten back together so many since then. Currently we have been broken up for about a year and a half give or that a few months. In this time I've gone out on a few dates, hooked up with other people, tried to move on but I still find myself coming back to him.
I feel like I have done a lot for this guy, gone above and beyond. A lot of the time I feel that he doesn't respect me the same way (mostly because he's with the guys), but get him on this own and he's affectionate and intimate, perfect. Boyfriend/ girlfriend cute stuff. He was my first everything, first love, kiss, lost my virginity etc., and I am still madly in love with him. It's been so hard to move on because all of our friends are the same group of people so I go out and he's there. Put some alcohol into the situation and we're back to a happy sweet couple.
I've asked him on a number of different occasions what he wants out of this but he's very unclear or won't talk to me about it. He definitely doesn't want to get back together but has no problem with sleeping together. He's not seeing anyone else and has done very little dating in the year and a half, that I know of.
I want to have him back but at the same time I don't want to do it just because it's easy. Not sure if I can deal with being his best friend that he has sex with and not being his gf anymore.
So my questions is, is it time to call it?
Thanks in advance. | 8 year relationship, still sleeping together after been broken up for 18 months, tired of being friend that he sleeps with but don't want to end it. Is it time to stop? |
t3_1kquw9 | relationship_advice | Unsure whether to get into something more serious | Hey guys,
Background, 21, not been in anything serious before and I'm currently seeing a friend.
Here is my situation, I have been seeing this girl (lets call her A) for a few months now. Nothing too serious, we have been sleeping together (as far as I'm aware monogamously) and spending plenty of time just the two of us, but not calling them dates. So it's been a bit like dating but not named as such.
So here's the issue, we have fun together and I enjoy spending time with her but when we are not together I don't get the whole "Thoughts only on her" etc and plenty of times I am not too bothered by the situation and have contemplated ending it/not going further and it doesn't cause me any issues, but as I say we seem to have fun and work on most of the basic levels.
Now I have spoken to a friend and he has told me "I could do better" various reasons the main one suggesting she is holding back her "crazy" to me but not on others.
Can anyone give any feedback on what they think? Or possibly suggest other topics to think about. Anything welcome :) | Seeing a friend for a few months, have fun when together, but I don't seem too enthusiastic when not and confused about whether to take it further. |
t3_4qxyt4 | relationships | Me [24M] randomly hooked up with [28F], haven't heard from her in 4 days | Earlier this week (Tuesday), I went out for some drinks with a friend and he invited a bunch of folks from his job. Me (24M) and one of his coworkers (28F) hit it off and ended up sleeping together that night. The thing is, I sent her a text yesterday around noon saying, "Heyy, how has your week been?", yet I haven't heard anything from her.
Should I just chalk this up as a one night stand? We had a lot in common so I thought she would at least want to see me again but this whole no contact thing makes me feel like a slut because I haven't done this in awhile. I know she might be busy, I was rather busy the 2 days that I didn't contact her. I'm aware that it hasn't been too long, but if I waited longer than 3 days I would feel horrible because of that 3 day rule jazz. This is just odd to me, I can't even get a response AFTER I have sex with a woman! | Woman may have used me for sex, now I feel like a slutty Mc Slut Pants, with an extra side of slut sauce |
t3_1lowyw | relationships | How can I [21M] help my girlfriend [20F] express herself sexually/romantically? | Ordinarily I wouldn't be the sort to ask this question for her, but since her internet is down for at least a week right now...
My new girlfriend of one month is a wonderful, confident and sweet person, and the relationship is going well - we're both surprised and how comfortable we feel with each other, and how honest we both are in conversation. However, she was raised in a very Christian household that imposed very traditional 'feminine values' on her, and only in the past few years has she turned away from that mentality (part of it being her coming out as bi, I assume). Her family is still very supportive of her and isn't an issue in the relationship, no fears there.
This means that whenever the concept of romantic/sexual desire comes up in conversation, she doesn't know how to react. Her experience with other guys is extremely limited, and while I can't be sure, hints in conversation have me wondering if she's ever experienced an orgasm before. I've been told at times that she feels extremely turned on, but she just doesn't know what to do next, and is anxious about going further than kisses just because it goes against things she's been taught for years about what a 'good girl' should do and has to unlearn. As far as I can tell, I'm literally the first guy to be interested in what she feels and desires, rather than just treating her as 'potential wife material'.
Of course, I'm willing to give her as much time as she needs to be comfortable with me -- I'm not in this for sex. What I do want to do is help her become comfortable with expressing what she wants and becoming comfortable with her own feelings. One thing I've already suggested is that one day she try doing something that made her feel sexy - not for me, but for herself, just in the sense of dressing up for herself, or taking a look at herself in the mirror and deciding what she liked. According to her, this was a great idea, and it makes me wonder what else I can suggest help her. Ideas, reddit? | Girlfriend is unused to someone actually taking an interest in her sexual/romantic wants/needs. How do I help her express them? |
t3_4rd230 | relationships | Moving in with my girlfriend | So me, 25 and my GF 21 have been dating for two years. She's moved in with a couple of mates who are a couple and a while ago asked me if I was interested. I wasn't sure then if I was ready and was thinking a lot about my new job and my future as well.
Now fast forward a few months and we had the chat about it again. i told her that my mind has been consumed with finding a new job, as I'm leaving my current one in a month, so maybe moving in at this time wouldn't be ideal as I'd be organising moving as well as looking for a new job. Stressful! Not only this but my flatmates don't know a lot of people to move in and our flat is really nice.
We had a very weird chat about it where she told me she was really upset and didn't understand my reasoning.
I love her I really do, but truth be told I love independence as well. I love seeing her and I love having time with my flatmates and others.
We've been fighting a lot as well recently so that was playing on my mind. Yes I understand that me not moving in is not nice for her to hear. She's really upset I just don't know how to deal with it. I've always been here for her but I'm just not sure I'm ready to for that next step.
Am I a prick? | GF of 2 years wants me to move in with her, I'm not ready and now she's really upset. Am I a douche? |
t3_4k9fpm | relationships | is it alright for me [16F] to ask my boyfriend [16M] not to go to a party if I know there will be drugs there | Hi Reddit I need to keep this short because I am at school and don't have much time.
This may just be me overreacting to this, um I originally come from France and I moved to America 2 years ago. My dad was a drug abuser and there for abused me and my mom. When ever he got high he hit us.
My boyfriend of one year Ace friends are having a party tonight and I know there is going to be drugs there. What drugs I don't know but I don't really want Ace going. I would much rather he didn't but I have not told him this. I would rather he just came over to my place or something.
Is it alright for me to ask Ace not to go? Ace does not do them but I don't think I could take it if he was peer pressured into it. | My boyfriend has a party tonight and I know there will be drugs there. Is it alright for me to ask him not to go? |
t3_3gw342 | relationships | I (25M) have a pet peeve with people who don't use turn signals while driving and it's getting to me | I realize many people have their issues with drivers on the road, but I live in a particularly careless area where your insurance rates nearly double just because you live there. It pisses me off that careless people like these affect everyone else's safety and rates just because they are too lazy to drive correctly.
I know I'm not perfect, but there are countless people who don't signal on the highway or on normal roads when changing lanes. They just slowly drift on over to a new lane right in front of me, and it makes me want to flip my signal on and off left-right-left-right to tell them to signal next time.
I get angry inside and I know it sounds dumb, but it's extremely frustrating having no control over it or doing anything to improve it myself. It's 100% on other people to follow the law and I can't do anything about it, but it still makes me angry.
People will suddenly appear behind me or in the lane next to me at night and it stresses me out.
I saw two cops weave between traffic the other day on the way to work, no blinkers on, and using no signal lights either. So they probably don't even enforce it. It's ridiculous.
How do I deal with this? It's extra hard staying calm during rush hour times. I've even not let anyone in front of me when lanes are ending unless they are using a turn signal, and for some reason THEY get angry at me.
I've had a lot of history with car accidents when I was younger, both my fault when I was a teenager and not - and family members getting into bad accidents (others' faults). And when people are lazy and careless, it pisses me off, because it's a situation where lots of lives are at risk.
UGHSDLGHASDGLH | How do I deal with people not using their turn signals while driving? Generally, everyone has their pet peeves, so what do you do to get over it? |
t3_mb705 | AskReddit | Is my neighbor socially awkward or just downright creepy? | I have this neighbor in his 50s who lives across the street from me. He divorced his wife and for some reason his son has never come home after going to college a couple years back. I literally never saw the son again after he left for college. He seemed eccentric, but harmless. The Christmas before last, he came over with gifts. After he left, we opened them and realized they weren't for the family, but instead all just for me. We brushed it off as odd, but the Valentine's day after that, I was home alone when I heard a knock on the door. I assumed my family members had just forgotten their garage door opener. I opened the door and it was the guy from across the street. He had roses, a gift, and a card. He asked if my parents were home, and I told him they'd probably be home any second and he promptly left. Later, my parents opened the card and it said "Dear JXiaty, Thinking of you always. Happy Valentines Day." My parents flipped out of course and went to talk to him. Since then, I've seen him a couple of times outside his house, but he hasn't tried anything. Lately I've been seeing him more an more. Should I be worried? | My neighbor brings me Christmas and Valentines day gifts. He's a 50 year old man who lives by himself and I'm a minor living with my family. |
t3_37y0s7 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] of 11 months, says things do not feel the same!! Need Help... | Ok so she has a chronic illness/disease and she has been in and out of hospital lately.. anyways about a week ago we stopped our fighting after 3 weeks of non stop fighting and bitching.
She said it does not feel the same and she says she needs time for it to go back to normal...
She won't kiss me on the lips.. She says give her time..
What do I do because I want the relationship to how it was before all of this.. I have already stated all my feelings to her... All she says is give it time..
Our 1 year is in 2 weeks btw... | Gf and i had a fight over 3 weeks. She says it doesnt feel the same and needs time...wont kiss me says later because she needs time. What do i do? . |
t3_asad1 | AskReddit | I want some revenge, what can I do reddit? | A couple of months ago I went to a party my friend was having. I've been to his many times before, but this time his brother was staying with him before he left for Europe the next day. I had never met him before, but at the time he seemed like a relatively cool and intelligent guy as it turned out he was heading to Europe to continue some piloting course. The next morning I wake up without my ipod touch and my friend's brother has already left for the airport. At first I thought I had just misplaced it that night, but after searching it was apparent someone had taken it. I knew it was him since everyone else there were good friends of mine. Fast forward to about a week ago, my friend calls me, tells me he has my ipod. Turns out his brother, while visiting for the holidays, brought the iPod with him. Today I went to pick it up and as I thanked my friend, I turned it on only to realise that it was signed into his brother's hotmail account. After investigating further, I found out it was also logged into his facebook account. After thinking about what I could do for about half an hour, I realised there were just too many scenarios, which is why I have come to reddit in the hope that you will help me decide what to do. I dont have his current passwords for either accounts but I am able to reset both of them when the time comes. Stealing an ipod isn't much when compared to other stories I have seen on reddit but it doesn't make me like the guy who did it any more. Music is a big part of my life and I took that ipod everywhere. Losing it was a big thing for me, especially as I am not the position to replace it. Also I am sure some of you wouldn't miss the opportunity at hand here. So, what can I do? | someone stole ipod, ipod was found, stealer's email and facebook are still logged in, looking for a way to get back at him. |
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