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t3_213pat | pettyrevenge | I didn't know I was done shooting hoops. | So I recently moved to a new place. It's has a nice community area with a playground, tennis court and basketball court. The weather here was so nice today I decided to go to the basketball court and just shoot around for a bit. I get there and no one else is around.
I am running from hoop to hoop just shooting lay ups when I notice some kids walking towards the court with a ball. I then went to one half and stayed there. The kids start a pick up game on the other end. About 10 minutes later I walk over to my water and I take a little break. I was thinking about calling it quits soon when I notice the kids just went full court with their game. Mind you I am still right by the court. They didn't ask me if I was done and that it was cool to go full court. They just assume and decided for me.
So here is my revenge. I watch them play for a couple of minutes and when they go down to the other hoop I just casually stroll back on to the court and start shooting hoops again. I saw out of the corner of my eye one kid starting to do a fast break, but stopping when they saw me there. They pause for a second, but don't say anything and just go back to their game using half the court.
I then took my time working on foul shots, lay ups, and three pointers. I even make it seem like I am going to leave by walking near my stuff a few times, but only to turn around and shoot a bit more.
Finally I am done, but not before taking one more shot that I just so happen to miss and went to the opposite side of my stuff. I casually walk over to my ball. It had rolled into some dirt so I brush that off and then I casually walk back across the court to my stuff. I pick everything up and hadn't even started walking to my car when the kids just decided to go back to full court again. I shake my head smiling as I leave taking petty satisfaction that I got some petty revenge on them. | Kids didn't have the common decency to ask me if I was done shooting hoops, so I kept playing by myself. |
t3_2b7bcr | relationships | I (23F) am thinking about breaking up with my amazing bf (39M) whom I'm no longer attracted to | OK so I met my boyfriend at my job that I'm currently working at now. We started dating almost immediately after I started there, and we have now been together off and on for about a year and a half. He's a great guy, he always takes care of me and my family loves him. I really have very few complaints except that I am losing all attraction towards him. He is balding, bad teeth, and has gained 40 lbs since we got together. I know that sounds very shallow of me but I can't help it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm only still with him because I'm lonely. Just someone to hang out with. I don't hang out with a lot of my friends anymore because they're all married and have kids. I also work the grave yard shift making hard to see anyone. I've tried breaking it off with him a few times, but as soon as we're broken up I always end up texting him, out of boredom I think. It's like a vicious cycle. I also get nervous about breaking up with him because we work in the same department at my job. I don't want there to be hostility, and I know he won't be an adult about it. He's also very good friends with my supervisor. I know it sounds crazy but I don't wanna be treated differently at my job because there is actually a lot of favoritism.
I do care about him but I can't see myself being with him long term, unless I'm settling. On the other hand he is an awesome boyfriend and what if I'm blowing my chances of being truly happy in a relationship? | I have a great boyfriend who takes care of me but I'm not attracted to him anymore because he is so much older than me. Should I settle or move on? |
t3_13pqpx | AskReddit | I kicked out my dad the other night. It seems he has been hiding money from the family to spend on his whores. How do we completely cut him off? | A heated argument happened the other night and it was revealed to everyone the extent of his cheating. I reached my boiling point and told him to go away and never come back. He packed up some of his things and my mom thinks he's no longer planning to come back.
My mother has put up with him for years. Despite his cheating since I was a kid, my mom still feels pity over him but to me, he's completely destroyed and unredeemable. He managed to sleep with our female employees, pay one to actually afford to buy a house, molest a housemaid for months then paid her for her silence. His father, who's a lay minister, did the same thing to one of our housekeepers. He even had the nerve to advice my dad to go to his mistress' house to apologize to his mistress' parents when my mother fired her. I hate him so much I want him imprisoned for what he did to those girls. I just don't know if it has legal standing since none of them filed a case against him and settled with money instead.
It bothered me as a kid why my mom never filed for divorce. I don't think that's an option for her now. I'm afraid it might suck the living daylight out of her as she's now worried about her deteriorating health. We do want to legally separate him from the family. He has asked for independence on his side of business. However my parents still share a bank account and assets. Luckily my mom is the one who signs the contracts and contains full confidence from her business clients. What worries her is my dad's business is only breaking even with his finances. He had been secretly paying bank penalty fees since October. I don't want him to bring us down and have us buried in debt but my mom says she can't let him fall because it would reflect poorly on her credit.
Apart from kicking him out of the house and future division of assets and bank account with my mom, how else can we cut him off from our lives?
If there is a specific sub I can address this to, feel free to recommend. | Dad cheated multiple times but Mom still feels pity over him. I want to completely cut him off from everyone. What other steps should we take? |
t3_10wiz7 | relationships | Advice to get her back | Hey all, quick background is that I dated her for 8 months, she wanted a break 4 months ago. Obviously its more than a break and I've been trying to get over her ever since. Were both 16, I know very young, probably risky but the thing is everything is getting harder in my life and I don't know what else I can try. And in a month we will be together about 3 hours a day because she is a trainer for my hockey team. Over the summer she liked me again for a little bit twice but I kinda blew those. We haven't talked much at all so no contact hasn't helped much. We've talked a little yesterday and today and she mentioned that she misses me quite a bit, but only as a friend. Another thing is that she has been liking a bunch of other guys but then she stops liking them really fast if that means anything. I know she hasn't been happy lately too. I'm really having trouble focusing and shes always on my mind so i dont really know what do. I know the odds are really against me and it will be tough but its really what i want now. Any advice on getting her back or anything is appreciated. Thanks | dated girl for 8 months, been apart for 4. Both 16, can't get over her and looking for advice on how to try and get her back. |
t3_2it9wv | relationships | Me [40F] with my boyfriend [42 M] of 11 years, know I should leave, but it's really hard. Need encouragement, advice Reddit. | So my boyfriend [42/M] and I [40/F] are just reaching 11 years together. We have been engaged for 7 years. We have a 5 year old son together. We get along great for the most part, but he will not marry me. First it was, "not enough money for a wedding", then, "can't take time off from work for a honeymoon", "maybe next year", etc., etc. I have asked him numerous times why he won't commit to marriage, but he says he will someday. I'm tired of waiting.
This has recently become more of an issue as his sister is getting married. Hearing talk of the wedding and how happy they are just makes me an emotional wreck. I find myself so angry at my boyfriend. He says he already considers us married, lays on the I love yous, and makes promises that he never keeps until I let it all slide for another couple years. I am really depressed and feel like there must be something wrong with me. Even if we were to get married now I would feel like I had to beg him to do it. I am barely able to see through my tears right now.
The biggest reason I have not left is our little boy. I hate the thought of him growing up in a broken home. We have a pretty good family life as long as I keep my want of marriage on the back burner. Do I move out and look for commitment elsewhere? Do I hurt my child by breaking up his family for my wants? I struggle with this and find myself always extending the time limit I have set for myself to move out.
So I guess I am asking if anyone else has been through this? What did you do? How did it end up for you? | Together 11 years, he won't marry me. 5 year old son. Break up a family because he won't commit? |
t3_51ul40 | relationships | Me [42F] with my sister [45F]: handling religious differences | My sister is a devout Christian. I am an atheist/secular humanist, but have always been discrete about my beliefs.
My sister lives in another state, and we are otherwise quite close. We text nearly every day to chat.
Recently we started chatting about something touching on religion, and she asked me flat out if I believe that Jesus is alive and will be resurrected. I said no, but that there are tons of things humans don't understand that really exist.
We went back and forth a bit, and then the next day, she texted, "Your answer to my questions has weighed heavily on me, as I realize we cannot both be right. Should we each stick to our present course, one of us will experience profound sadness and grief at realizing the truth in the end. "
Essentially, I think she is distressed because she thinks I am going to hell. I can't give her what she wants, but I can imagine how horrible it must feel to think your loved one is condemned. My only response was, "I don't know what to say."
Is it possible to assuage her grief while also being honest about my beliefs? I love her deeply, and I know she loves me. I hate to think of her feeling so bad about this. | my religious sister thinks I'll go to hell because I haven't accepted Jesus as my savior. How do I comfort her while being honest about my nonbelief? |
t3_47584j | relationships | I've [26/M] been dating my GF [18/F] for 3 months. Still having a difficult time, but we love each other. | So, to make a long story short, me and my girlfriend have been experiencing lots of issues ranging from disagreements, different goals, different priorities, to raging at each other.
I feel like I can't be myself around her or talk to her how I talk to everyone else without her getting super upset or taking something the wrong way. I don't seem to have issues with anyone else at all, but her.
It's like she just doesn't get me. And while I understand her, my patience is thin. She's taking steps towards getting better at managing her anger, though it seems like she doesn't want to accept that she is highly sensitive and is quick to let things bother her.
I feel like I am giving her absolutely every ounce of my patience and energy to make this work and we have good days and bad days, but even on our good days, I find herself getting upset.
I know she's young, and it has a lot to do with it, but she is a really good girl and is super supportive of me in everything that I've been dealing with, but sometimes I just want to give up and be single. I'm really trying to hang on. I feel like she could be the one if she could just get past her anger.
Her anger hurts. It cuts deep, because I have given up a lot for her. When I'm just being my normal self, she just wigs out sometimes or finds something to get upset about and it just kills my whole vibe and ruins my night. I've tried to explain this to her, but it's only helped a little.
Any advice for dealing with a significant other with anger issues? | Having problems with my 18 year old girlfriend. She has anger issues but she is amazing and I love her but sometimes I want to give up. Need advice for dealing with an S/O's anger issues. |
t3_33vbwg | tifu | TIFU By Having My Liquid Break in Middle School | About 5 years ago I was a yung Asian-American boy just trying to find his way through middle school without getting bullied much in the savage jungle that is... middle school.
The fuck-up lied in my mind.. or my pants.. or both.
Well, moving forward, I was horrible in front of others and cared *EXTREMELY* about what others thought of my actions, so much so
that...onetimeinscienceclassididntwanttogetuptoasktheteacher(whowasbehindallmyclassmatessittingdown)
togotothebathroomandIendedupwaitingabittoolongandIstraightuppissedmypantsandohmyfuckingoditwasdrenched
likeholyshittheseatmyjeansholypissfuckcockdicker.
To clarify, as I realized the longer I waited, the less I was able to move and I waited long enough that when I finally made the competent decision to just fucking ask to go to the bathroom... I couldn't move. It began with the dripping...
...drip
...drip
...*SOTHISISWHATBREAKINGWATERMEANSAAHHHHH*
I kept that straight and studious look on my face as it all went down. Boy oh boy was I glad I was wearing dark washed denim jeans cause no joke my liquids were totally camouflaged. I was dripping a bit and holy hell it was uncomfortable, but I was able to walk out of the classroom no problem.
No problem until I realized it was only first period and I was going to start to fucking stink once it dried up, and yes, that pee pee dried up real quick :) | > I pissed my pants, was clear, then I hardened and became a butterfly of stank ~~dick~~ |
t3_3uwrdx | relationships | My girlfriend [F26] used to be with my "player" friend [M27]. I feel like I [M27] am not her type at all. | They used to be together a few years back but I don't think the relationship was ever that serious. He only mentioned her a few times before I met her. I used to be closer friends with him but I moved away for work so our friendship now is playing CS:GO sometimes and whenever I visit my parents who live in the city as he does, we tend to hang out. August last year ago he invited me to a party and I decided to visit. My friend introduced me to my now gf at the party and said that she was planning to move my city for work and then left us alone. So he kinda matched us up.
We started hanging out a lot because I was the only one she knew there and then that became a relationship. She moved in with me a 3 months ago and we have been together for maybe 10 months in total by now, I'm actually not sure on what date we became a couple.
I was never all that comfortable with that she had been with my friend earlier. My friend is very much a player and conventionally handsome, charismatic, hung, athletic and I'm not. Sucks for me but that's the way it is. He is pretty much the reason I stopped playing sports, he was just so much better than me that I didn't find any joy in it anymore. It strained our friendship for a while but I got over it.
I feel like he is the kind of guy she actually likes so why is she with me? I don't know but I feel like I am simply the best she can get *right now* and the second she actually sees something she likes, she will bail. And that will hurt a lot. Maybe not as much as the last time but still...
It's hard to talk about this with your girlfriend because she will obviously protect my feelings and won't be honest. But maybe I should try anyway? I really, really like her but my life was alright before her and it would be alright without her. It's really nice to live with someone though and I honestly don't think I can do any better than this. Most people probably can't.
So I'm torn. | Girlfriend used to be with old friend of mine, I feel like I am her second choice but that being the second choice for someone is the best I can do. |
t3_1mmdy3 | relationships | I[27/F] have had to return temporarily to the apartment with my exbf [26/M] who is seeing other people. | Two weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I could tell he was pushing me away. (thread [here] There were a lot of other things said, but I think it came down to commitment and wanting to date other people.
I left the apartment we shared for two weeks in order to gather my thoughts and strength. However, I love the city we lived in and have some job prospects. Because my name is still on the lease, I've returned temporarily long enough to find another apartment and move my stuff.
Based on what he said during our discussion,texts I found sealing my decision to break up with him, I'm pretty sure he's seeing other people. It's strange to me that he's so eager to get back into "the game," but I suppose that's a personal difference.
So, I'm curious if any of you wise people have any advice on how to deal with this situation. | I've returned temporarily to my old apt who I share with my exbf. I think he's seeing other people, and I want your advice on how to deal with this situation. |
t3_1ek94f | relationship_advice | [20/f] How can I stop nagging my boyfriend (26/m)? | I have a boyfriend of 10 months and I find myself nagging so much recently. The things I nag about are like
* **I want you to stop taking dexies**: he works overnight and needs them sometimes to be awake. I don't really have a good reason why I want him to stop taking them but he said that he would never take them again if I don't want him to.
* **I don't like it when you drive fast on small streets**: I get scared really easily and it makes me very nervous & sets me up.
Last night I got a bit upset as he accelerated really quickly when there were many drunk people walking right in front of the car. It was after he had a few drinks (just one or two in 3 hours), and I was so surprised as I was afraid he would injure someone - to be fair, I'm learning how to drive and 30km/h feels like it's SO FAST to me.... I have explained to him that I hate it when people drive like that in many different occasions and I was annoyed by the fact that he didn't remember it and still did it when I was in the car.
But the thing is, he is a mature man and knows exactly what he's doing - never abuses drugs, drives dangerously or disrespects me. I never wanted to be a girlfriend who nags a lot and I don't like the fact that I do. He seems a bit annoyed sometimes when I nag but we always talk through things and make sure both of us are happy. I want to be spending time with him laughing, rather than nagging but it's hard to stop. | I really don't want my boyfriend to be annoyed by me and don't want to sound like I'm nagging. What can I do to not to nag? |
t3_37pmvu | relationships | My [22F] coworker [30sF] has been reprimanded for using her cell phone during working hours. She continues to do so, as long as our boss [60sF] isn't in. Should I say something? | I'm not in an official position of authority, but I am trusted to 'keep an eye on things' while the boss is out of the office. Usually it just means making sure all the classrooms are covered if an employee is sick or calling the parents of a sick child.
Last week, my boss spoke to my coworker about using her cell phone to call her kids during working hours. My coworker is responsible for a classroom of children, but had been leaving the room to call home and make sure her kids were up in time for their school bus. Since our boss spoke to her, she hasn't done it in front of our boss. But today our boss is off sick, and this employee is standing in the hallway talking on her cell phone again. I don't have the authority to go into the hall and tell her to stop. But I also don't really want to bring it up with our boss after just one time. That being said, I'm sure it's going to happen again. It's not like her kids called her and she had to answer - she called them to check in.
I know it bothers other employees - many of them have kids that they would like to call and check in on in the morning. But, everyone else recognizes that they are being paid to take care of other people's children, and that leaving those children unattended to take care of a personal matter is not acceptable. | Coworker blatantly disobeying boss's instructions while boss is out of the office. Should I speak up or let it be? |
t3_2d0z8d | relationships | How do I [18 F] tell a disabled guy [22 M] I don't want to date him? | First time posting on reddit, sorry for any issues!
I don't really want to go into details, but let's just say it's a genetic physical disability.
I see him almost every day. Not only do we have the same classes, he lives only a few minutes away from me. He's a popular guy- lots of friends, hosts amazing parties, and generally is pretty cool. However, he has terrible luck in the dating scene. He'll pick a girl to fixate on, sending flowers to her house, buying her jewelry, getting gift certificates to spas, and get tickets to her favourite band.
Most girls turn him down. He gets very upset, and will tell everyone he knows how the girl he spent all this money on won't date him because of his disability. These girls go through hell because of him. He turns everyone against them. One girl had her car keyed because he would tell everyone who listened that she only hung out with him for his money, and left him when he wanted to get serious. Quite a few have transferred to different colleges to get away from the constant hate.
I've always been able to hide in the friend status, but now he's turning his attention to me. I've turned down most of his gifts (except the "anonymous" ones he leaves on my doorstep that I can't give back), and I can tell he's starting to get frustrated with me. It's only a matter of time before he starts badmouthing me.
I can't switch colleges, as this is the best one for my degree. But I don't want everyone to hate me because of what he says either. Is there any way for me to turn him down and not have everyone hate me for it? | Guy thinks girls won't date him because of his disability, but really it's because he's an ass. Badmouths all girls who say no to him. Now he wants to date me :( |
t3_2b0ugh | relationship_advice | Am I (24/M) an idiot for wanting to break up with my amazing girlfriend (24/F)? | I have been dating this amazing girl for the past 6 months. She is kind, funny, attentive, caring, gorgeous, and one of my favorite people to talk to. She is my dream girl. The only issue is that I feel like I met my dream girl too early. I'm not interested in other women, but there's so much that I want to do, but I don't want her there for those things. I'm sure that doesn't make any sense, but it's how I've been feeling. I love this girl and I'm in love with her, but I don't want to share these big parts of my life with her. I feel like I'm defective having these thoughts and I would be crazy to leave her, but I feel like I'm just stringing her along. She deserves a man that will make her his priority and his world, but that man isn't me. Am I an idiot for thinking this? | I want to break up with my dream girl. She's done nothing wrong, but I don't think I'm the man for her. |
t3_31jqb7 | Advice | Live 10 minutes cycle from future uni but considering moving out | I'll be as concise as possible
I want a new experience and change in new ways. I also want to go out whenever I want and come home at 5am without having to instead lie to my parents. I'd tell them I'd be staying over at a friends house and then go clubbing/to a bar/wherever. I also drink and have to lie about not doing so as well.
If I moved out I'd be able to do these things freely and not worry my parents which would be great. They are ok with me moving out and the accommodation I found is next door to the uni so I'll save some time too
HOWEVER
I feel like it's a bad move to pay £4000 a year for accommodation even if just for the first year considering how close I live already
Does anyone have any advice/anecdotal information they'd be willing to share? I really want to know what people think and have went through | Want to move out, strict-ish parents so moving out = freedom to socialise however I want BUT live really close to uni already... |
t3_4tbpeh | relationships | I'm (25F) tired of my husband (26M) of three years inviting people over without telling me. | My husband keeps inviting people over. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but he doesn't ever tell me about it until after he's made all these plans. Last weekend he threw a fight party that I didn't find out about until an hour before when he was like oh yeah people are coming over. Yesterday he invited a friend to stay the night so they could play cards all day today. I feel left out. I just want to be a part of the decision making that involves OUR house. It feels like he doesnt respect the fact that I live in the same house as he does. I've tried talking to him, but all he says is "I just don't think about it like that." Any advice on how to get it through his head? | my husband keeps inviting people over without talking to me. I get mad. He gets mad that I'm mad. It's a vicious cycle. |
t3_4v7hoq | tifu | TIFU by putting my key lanyard on the back of my work truck. | Disclaimer: this was two weeks ago. I work for a city in Nevada doing various things like Crack sealing, road clean up, etc. On days when there isn't anything to do I go to a local graveyard to do weeds. I had a sweet LA Clippers lanyard that I loved but it got so annoying to work with cause I had multiple keys on it and it was a long lanyard so it got caught on stuff. My work truck has a rack on it with hooks so I decided to put my keys on it and I knew that wasn't a good spot but I thought "oh, I won't forget". Come a half hour later and I was heading back to my work shop to get some water (which is about 2 miles from the graveyard). I get back to the yard and reach for my keys cause our shop door has an electronic lock on it that I have a magnet key for. I then realize that I seriously fucked up and lost my keys. I then spent two hours driving back and forth to look for them but I never found them. I lost my Truck key (i only had the master key for my Toyota Tacoma so to get a new one cut was not cheap), my PO Box key (my Bo box is also my dad's and I haven't been able to check my mail for weeks cause he's working in California right now and the post master will only let my dad request a new key), and my house keys (crawling in and out of my window for a while now). Also lost my keys to my old house in California but that's ok cause that house and my entire old neighborhood just burnt down a month ago so I wasn't gonna need those at all. | I put my keys to my truck, house, and po box, on the back of my work truck and lost them. |
t3_37dk7f | relationships | My roommate [25 M] has gone tin foil hat crazy, is it ok to bail on short notice? | So I've lived with my current roommates for just about a year. Recently one self medicated due to some lower back issues (to speed up the healing) with a steroid he was prescribed for something else a few months back. The problem apparently this steroid can cause someone to become bipolar if they have a predisposition towards it. Without the proper help (which he is refusing) it can become permanent.
Flashback a week ago things he started to seem off. Lists of everything started to appear. In the last week he has gone into a full mania. Post it notes on the walls of the house, he is recording everything via his phone, apparently we don't need a shower curtain anymore? It's just getting wackier and wackier. Apparently he can read the minds of those around him. He also is constantly rambling about how he is going to sell his story to Vice.
So all in all, the lease was up on our place in august. Currently I'm not on the lease at all, just a resident of the house. I had already planned to move out and have everything planned yet may need to speed the process up. I'm having a moral dilemma thought as I'm not trying to fuck the guy over but at the same time I can't live with him. He's refusing help from all sources and we've really been trying, every time we get him close to going to a psyche ward he bails. It's getting actually scary to be around alone at the house as he's now starting to lash out and exhibit anger at those things around him. Do I pay rent for June and then bail even though I won't be staying there? Or do I just flat out bail and leave the situation. Mind you in our situation we've never really been super close and the whole time I've lived there he's kind of been a dickhead to me in general, but we share a lot of mutual friends. | Is it ok to leave the house on such short notice considering my roommate has become tin foil hat crazy? Is even considering it kind of fucked up? |
t3_sq5c1 | relationship_advice | Controlling promiscuous tendencies while in a relationship? | 19 year old female here. Since I first came to college, I gladly broke out of my sexual shell and hooked up with several guys over the course of a few months. I'm not necessarily proud (or ashamed) of this fact; the reason I mention this is that I think it somehow instilled an urge for promiscuity in me. A lot of my sexual fantasies center around this desire to sleep around, and I have difficulty with the idea of having one partner for the rest of my life.
I've been in a relationship now for over a year, and I've been able to control my urges up until now. Over the past week however, I've started looking at posts on [/r/ladybonersgw](/r/ladybonersgw) and [/r/r4r](/r/r4r) just to fantasize. Last night, I chatted with a guy on skype for about 6 hours and things got pretty heated. He sent me nude pictures, we talked dirty, etc. Part of me feels like this is just harmless flirting and fantasy, but part of me feels guilty.
At what point does one cross the line between fantasizing and infidelity, especially with regards to online chatting/cyber sex? Does this urge to connect with other men say something about my feelings for my boyfriend? How different is my situation from guys who watch porn while in a relationship? | Been in a year-long relationship but still having the urge to have "cyber sex" with other men online. Is this cheating? Is my relationship in trouble? |
t3_2ve4n8 | relationships | At the end of the week i'm[20M] going on my first date ever with this girl[18F] i've been texting to for a few months | On sunday i am going on my first date ever with the girl i've been texting to for 2 months,in the past month our relationship got pretty intimate,we started saying we loved eachother and it's true but we're still not a couple yet,she literaly told me that this sunday she'll find out if i'm ''the right one'' which stresses me to no end,i've ben stressed so much ever since
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i bought some perfume to smell good since she loves that and some clothes that fits me well,i also bought her her favorite chocolates and some hot chocolate too since it's one day after valentine's day and she's pretty excited for that too
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i'm so stressed i think i've never stressed so much in my entire life i don't know what to do or how to act,some people told me that i need to hug her as soon as i meet her,is that a good idea?
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even if it is i'm afraid my hug will be all awkward,i'm so scared to initiate i want to do thing correctly but i'm constantly in self doubt like i'm always thinking ''does she want me to hug her? what if i do and she doesn't want me to hug her?? does she want me to hold her hand while we walk? i don't mind but i can't just flatout say wanna hold hands?''
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i want to leave a good impression,i want to come out as a confident guy because i know she'll be very shy too she's been probably as stressed as i am but i need to leave a good impression..i want to be ''the right one'' because i love her with everything in my body.
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Thank you for all of you who tries to help me,your help mean alot to me and is incredibly helpful! | going on my first date ever at the end of the week,really scared about everything and i need to leave a good impression |
t3_18f4da | relationship_advice | I [25m] have fallen for a woman [28f] who is going through a divorce- how do I proceed? | A bit of backstory- I have known this girl for a long time, as she is one of my sister's best friends. I have always cared about her, and supported her decisions, even if I disagreed with them. A few years ago, she got married and we didn't talk for a while. It was hard for me to deal with, but I got over it in time.
Cut to around September, and I get word that she's coming back down, and that she left her husband. I wasn't sure how to react, but she came back into my life, and I soon realized that I still have feelings for her. As the months passed and we get to talking, I start getting hints that she's interested in me. Being a bit down on myself, I've initially brushed it off, but I'm starting to think she might be serious.
So here's where I need help:
1. What would be the best way to handle talking to her about my feelings? I know that getting over a relationship, much less a marriage, is hard and can take a long time. I don't want to rush or pressure her into doing anything she's not ready for.
2. Is there any way to show her that I'm interested in more than just friendship, without being too forward? I've been doing some light flirting, but I've been a bit too shy to make more intimate personal contact.
Any help you can provide will be considered. Thanks! | interested in dating friend who is going through a divorce, trying to catch her interest without coming off as too forward or would offend her. |
t3_3ltn7a | tifu | TIFU By relating my teacher to an obese kid and then laughing at her. | This actually happened today in the middle of my biology class. Basically, we had been assigned homework on the circulatory system and, me being the lazy shit I am, I had just rushed through the homework quickly, like I always do, giving short answers and no detail. Well, it turns out that the short answers had a price.
So after asking a few questions, we move onto the next one. "Comment on the effect of each of the following on the circulatory system. Diet, Exercise. I was selected to answer on the effect of dieting, so I went about reading directly from my barely detailed work and said "A healthy diet is better for your heart."
Immediately, I'm asked for details, which is when the fuck up happens. My teacher responds with "Why, though?" Now, in the dead silence and unenthusiastic atmosphere of a Monday morning, I suddenly recall a stupid image I saw over the weekend. Whilst everyone is expecting an answer, [this] pops into my head...
Now, I'm suddenly staring back at my teacher, envisioning this small obese kid asking "Y tho". Everyone was expecting an answer, but I just started literally laughing out loud whilst everyone started laughing at me, not with me. My teacher is suddenly confused, wondering what was so funny, when I just try to contain my laughter and then attempt to answer the question like nothing had changed. After class, I met up with a few friends who were in there, too, and undoubtedly had some strange looks thrown at me afterwards. | Suddenly recalled [this] image right after my teacher asked "Why, though?" Proceeded to answer the question with laughter instead. |
t3_3at7jc | relationships | Me [24 F] with the guy I was dating [25 M] for about 6 months; I feel pretty bad about myself after he revealed his true thoughts | I'll just jump right in. I (24/F) found out through a mutual friend that the guy I was dating (25/M) does not consider me someone he'd commit to long-term because I'm (1) not Indian (which he is) and (2) not a virgin (which he most definitely is not). Now, I am 24 years old and a year away from getting my law degree and hopefully going out there and making a difference in a few lives. I am certainly not crossing my fingers for an engagement ring at this point. Still, that kind of archaic bullshit is not for me. I talked to my guy and after days of dodging my questions, he half-heartedly admitted that he wouldn't want to disappoint his family by marrying a non-Indian, non-virgin girl.
Needless to say, I dumped him.
The rational part of me knows that I probably dodged a bullet with this dude. The insane part of me needs a dose of reality, though. I can't help but feel...really, really devalued by the experience. I don't think a man owes me anything just because we're having sex, but it was really jarring to hear someone more or less admit that you are good enough for their bed but not for their family. I grew up in a progressive family that did not shame me for not waiting until marriage/engagement/soulmate and my friends are the same. I have only ever been with 2 guys (he's been with more girls than that), but this conversation with a man I really cared about and saw a future with has left me feeling pretty bad. I hate it because I know I shouldn't feel this way and I don't know where it's even coming from.
Does anyone have advice on how to deal with these emotions? | The guy I was seeing/really cared about said he does not see me as someone to commit to because I am not Indian and had a sex partner before him. I feel...cheap. |
t3_2pxl6f | relationships | How do I [19 M] get over constant suspicions and paranoia that my GF [18 F] of 1 year is cheating with me with her new college friends? | So basically my SO has been spending the majority of her time on skype/gaming/going to the mall/hanging out at their houses with her new guy friends from college.
When she comes home she does love me and reciprocates affection, but she is also constantly annoyed by me... Just things I do like: walk into the room (kitchen, mostly shared bedroom) when she's on her laptop, not keeping up on chores all the time. I mean I guess I understand but she's annoyed with me at some point every day..
I guess a lot of my paranoia comes from my own past.. I used to be very depressed in highschool, and used cheating as a self medication when I wasn't getting enough attention from my current SO. Like to the point where it's easier to list the gf's/bf's I didn't cheat on than to list the ones I did. I'm over that phase in my life though, but it definitely left some scars.
I'm just having paranoid thoughts that my gf might feel stuck with me because of our living situation and that she's seeking attention from people who don't annoy her and make her laugh all the time instead of me. And I'm worried that it's going to turn into something else. And it doesn't help that the same situation happened with her aunt/uncle's relationship. | How do I get over bein jealous and paranoid about my gf spending most of her time hanging out with her guy friends from college? |
t3_prmf3 | AskReddit | Reddit, please help. Have any of you been on anti depressants or anxiety pills? | Guys I really need your help with this one.
I've been depressed and anxious for a little over three years now. I used to see a therapist in the first year and that helped a lot with the anxiety aspect. Unfortunately I had to move to a different province (Newfoundland) 2 years ago and was no longer able to see my therapist. Since being here, I find that my depression has worsened. The only person that I ever see outside of school and home is my boyfriend. I have tried to make other friends at school but it just hasn't been working. I think this is normal because I never really had girlfriends anyways. I have no distraction from being sad here in Newfoundland either because there is really no where to go, especially when the weather is bad.
I find that i am extremely sad an anxious lately. I've been having some bad thoughts and constant mood swings. My boyfriend is tired of me being this way and although I know he's trying his best and loves me I'm afraid he is going to leave me.
Seeing a therapist is not an option as there are no therapists near me. They are an hour and a half away and it is not practical for me since I have to miss school to see one. My only option is medication but I am really afraid. I'm scared that the medication is going to either make me worse, or will screw with my brain causing me to not be the same, even when i go off of them.
Have any of you been on medication for depression before? Did it work for you or not? I really need help Reddit. Please share your stories. | I've been depressed for 3 years. I need to know if medication really works or not. Please help as it has been really bad lately and I'm desperate. |
t3_3nd6i0 | tifu | TIFU by sleep walking. | This happened today around 3 in the fucking AM. First off I have narcolepsy and take medication to sleep. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to boil some eggs. Eggs boiled and eaten. Immediately start vomiting eggs through my nose and mouth. I bump up against the door and set off the alarm. I live with my uncle who's very hard of hearing. At some point I smack my face on a granite counter top pushing back some of my bottom teeth. (Fucking great) So now the phone rings from the alarm company, I don't know the password so I go into my uncles room with the phone. He keeps a gun on his night stand. I open door and he puts two rounds in the wall next to my head. (Maaawp, maaawp) *tinnitis* I hand my uncle the phone and he clears things up, but the cops still come. My ears are still ringing. | I slept walked, fucked up my teeth, puked eggs, set off home alarm, and my uncle almost shot me in the face. |
t3_zeipn | relationships | [19 M] my Gf [18] has severe depression | Throwaway because my gf is a redditor
We've been together for about 2 years now, and it wasn't a big issue until recently. Her views on death are the complete opposite of mine, she wants to die ASAP, while i wanna live as long as i can, and this is where it starts. She always jokes around about killing herself, but about 2 months it started getting serious. I told her mom, she didn't do anything since my gf has always joked about death. My mom simply says its not my daughter, and she refuses help. It's really taken its toll on our relationship and i think im the only thing to keep her from actually doing, but im miserable, to the point where im contemplating breaking it off. Should i? if not, how can i convince her life is amazing? | GF [18] wants to kill herself, i [19 M] think im the only thing keeping her alive, but im miserable because of it, what to do? |
t3_2m49jw | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 2 years, got really mad when an old high school friend showed him a video of us having really weird sex, years ago? | So me and my boyfriend(ill call him James) went to this party. It was pretty big, there were plenty of old high school people we used to know. We met up with them and it was cool, everyone had a good time.
One of them was a guy i hooked up quite alot(ill call him Christian, hes 23), he was a bit of a player. I think even after all these years we still have a bit of chemistry, but ofc im loyal and wont ever cheat on James.
Anyways, throughout the night Christian was just taking so many shots and got really drunk. He was stumbling across James, and said "you know, shes a really crazy one in the sack". James was trying to play it off, and then Christian was like "no, for real, ill show you." then he took out his phone and showed an old video of us having sex.
Not just any kind, it was really screwed up. Im actually jewish and hes german, and the vid was 5 minutes of me in a concentration camp costume and him in a nazi officer costume. i mean i liked roleplay alot but i never really did it with my bf James. And it was me being so degraded, like him telling me to take it like the slut i am, then at the end it was him cumming on my face, all sorts of embarrassing stuff.
James then got really mad and asked me if that really happened. i was so embarrassed and in tears at that point, but i couldnt really deny it. Christian then said with a huge smirk "what did i tell ya?". James then grabbed him and said "you wanna fight"?
I tried to get him to back off. He eventually did, then said to me, "you know, thats really sick, i cant believe you would do stuff like that". then he left the party. It was last weekend and he hasnt been texting me since, ive tried texting him how much i love him and everything. What should i do? | Old high school friend showed boyfriend a video of really weird sex, nazi roleplay. Boyfriend got really mad and is now ignoring me? |
t3_3b8hq4 | relationships | Ex [26F] and I [22M] broke up mutually but she still dreads every time we see each other | I'm going to start by saying this was the first serious relationship I had been in, and it only lasted 6 months, which looking back at it, probably wasn't serious at all. We rushed into things and loved our bodies more so than our minds, afaik we should have just been fuck buddies, but me being inexperienced with regards to relationships, dove in head first to get some life experience. That's not to say we didn't love eachother, we just fell in love as quickly as we fell out of love.
Two months have passed since we broke up, and I feel like I've moved on. Again, it was only 6 months, and there were doubts along the way, so I started getting over it before the break up even came. I'm more confused about whether she's still trying to cope, or if she's trying to X me out of her life. Which is difficult in her situation seeing that we run around in the same circles, and go to the same clubs on the weekend. We're bound to bump into each other a few times a month, so I, trying to settle down the awkwardness of acting like we've never met, say Hi and make conversation.
The issue here is that she dreaaads this. She keeps saying that she can't talk to me and she needs space, but it's not like I'm actively trying to contact her, or find ways to run into her, and it's been 2 months. I should also mention that our break up was very mutual, there was no big fight, everything folded on pretty good terms, we even went out for dinner after and said we were willing to be friends.
So I'm not looking for advice as much as some of your own experiences and views on how break ups should "work". I feel like I don't have any past experience to draw on to get an idea of what's really going on here, so I'm left feeling confused. | Mutually broke up with girlfriend of 6 months, 2 months later, when we run into each other she dreads talking to me. |
t3_44rvc9 | relationships | My [28 M] recent lady friend [27 F] had to move back home due to unforseen circumstances. Having a hard time dealing with it and need advice. | So here is the story. About two months ago I decided to try and put myself out there with online dating. Withing two days I met a very nice girl. We didn't chat much until January she made a huge attempt to stay in contact with me before and after the holidays. When we started talked we seriously hit it off and immediately clicked. Went on a few dates. Which were absolutely amazing. Talked about every day up until recently. Right before we discussed about moving forward with the relationship she went home for the weekend (about a week and a half ago) she told me we would discuss when she got back which I was fine with.
At the end of that weekend she tells me she probably isn't coming back due to her father's health issues. This Friday she tells me her father probably has cancer and she will most likely be staying home. Home is buffalo NY btw I am about a six hour drive from there. I asked about pursuing a long distance relationship and she declined saying it wouldn't be fair or practical for either of us. I spoke to her a bit on Saturday but haven't messaged her since. I'm kinda devastated with the situation and am having a super hard time dealing with it. | Met a girl online. She was great. Her dad's super sick and she has to move home. Which is six hours away. Kinda devastated. Not sure what to do from here. |
t3_3zzj83 | relationships | I (M/19) have a question about personality types when it comes to a girl (F/20) I've known for a couple of months that i'm interested in dating | Hi so I've never been in a relationship before so I know close to nothing. One thing I've always been interested in is personality types (Specifically the Myers Briggs Personality Types) So I was wondering about how the personality type would effect a relationship. Now I don't know if this is the right subreddit for this but here I go.
So i'm an ESFJ while the girl i'm interested in is an INFP. Is there anything I should know about personality wise that would conflict with someone of her personality type? Is there any like, known flaws I could improve on with my personality type? Are there any just advice in general about these two different Personality Types and how they interact with each other.
I know this is pretty general but I'm kind of curious about this | I'm an ESFJ, girl I'm interested in is an INFP. What are things I should know about how these personality types interact with each other when it comes to relationships? |
t3_lowzj | AskReddit | Why do we, as a society, tend to glorify warfare but condemn war in general? | First off, I'm not trying to criticize anyone's opinion with this post; I'm just curious as to why and when the dichotomy between the way in which we (by and large) perceive warfare (i.e. cool gadgets, covert operations, freddiew videos, the idea of being "hardcore"...), and the realities of armed conflict (soldiers coming home in caskets, disabled veterans battling for their entitled benefits, entire families destroyed, a huge economic burden, PTSD...) came about. It seems as though every news report on our engagements overseas focus in on all the negative aspects, but apart from parents who don't want their children exposed to videogames and/or violence, there seems to be no real opposition to EA and Infinity Ward spending tons of money marketing and distributing their games... | Why do so many of us oppose the prospect of engaging in war, only to get off on trailers of BF3 and MW3? And when did this disconnect come about? |
t3_23tfdz | relationships | Me [25M] with my Mom [47F], she just had twins and wants another baby with her new husband. | My mom cheated on and left my Dad in a depressing divorce and is now married to this really anal guy (late 30s?M) with anger issues. She just had twins at 47 and worried everyone about the health of these babies, and now she wants another one. I'm afraid she's only doing this for her new husband who really, really wanted kids. She has 3 kids from her previous marriage to my Dad and never wanted more. She wasn't a great mom. She mostly complained about work and never cooked and was very manipulative. but I'm afraid that this time SHE is being manipulated into having kids. or are we all worrying about these babies health for nothing? I always thought late 30s was when babies started being at higher risk for various problems, but now she's in her late 40s and still popping out kids. am i crazy? i'm just worried. what risk is she putting these potential kids at for this new husband? | my mom is almost 50 and still wanting more kids but i think she's being pressured by her new husband. is she putting these potential new kids at risk for this guy? |
t3_3xqdh9 | dating_advice | Met girl on CMD, not sure how I should proceed. | Long story short, I was connected with a girl on coffee meets bagel but she lives 4 hours away. She seems interested but never initiates texts (I've read this is normal for some girls) She's attractive, probably the most attractive girl I've went for which is messing with my confidence right now.
I'm also talking to 2 other girls (whom I've met through cmb as well) to keep myself from obsessing over one girl
Last week I suggested her friend and herself come join us for bar hopping in the city since she was headed there already with her friend. Her response was ":)". I'm not sure what this means but I'm assuming it's an okay? Should I ask her to go on a date with me first so she isn't uncomfortable when we meet for drinks with the group? Reason why I said group was because I was already heading into the city prior and didn't want to change my plans just to meet up with a girl and leaving my buddies behind. And she said she'll be going with her friend as well so that was my reasoning. | Met girl on CMD, should I ask her on a date before going bar hopping with the group for NYE? |
t3_zaen2 | legaladvice | Landlord (NYC) told us to leave because my gf smokes. | We just moved into the top floor of a multi family building, renting from the owner who lives downstairs. My girlfriend smokes, and this is the tricky part - there was no mention of smoking before the lease signing. Nothing said about smoking at all. The broker recommended that we don't mention it, and work it out with the landlord if she ever finds out.
So she found out, and said that she wouldn't have offered us the lease if she knew. She's an old italian lady, and she and her my gf get along well, so they made an arrangement that she would smoke outside, and a few out the window if it's late at night. Landlady complained the other day about smelling smoke inside, but again, my gf worked things out.
This morning, at 11:30am, we were asleep when landlady comes up stairs yelling "open the window! i smell smoke!". She comes to our door saying that we lied to her; we let her in to sniff around and told her that no one was doing any smoking, and that we were asleep. Now, she's told us to find another place; she doesn't mind, but her husband wants us out.
I find no mention in the lease of smoking. I do understand that people often don't want smoking around their home, and i wish that we'd fully disclosed everything from the beginning, but this is pretty bad for us. Now we have to spend all month finding a new place again (and i'm out of the country for the last 2 weeks of sept) and drop a few hundred more on moving.
I want to do this amicably, but i'm just wondering where legal responsibility lies. Are we able to ask for help with moving expenses? Is it worth the fight? I feel like the solution is to just eat the moving expense, but i'm really pissed right now.
Also, not sure if should mess with old Brooklyn Italian lady with sons in NYPD. | After living in place for 2 weeks, landlady wants to kick us out because my gf smokes. Done everything to abide by her smoking rules, but she still wants us out. |
t3_3d567y | relationships | His (34M) Relationship with a (17F) Makes Me (26F) Nervous | A guy I'm casually seeing has a very close relationship with a 17 year old girl. They're not related, she's his landlord's daughter but he says he sees her as a younger cousin or sister. He says that he feels like part of the family, but he only ever talks about her and not about the rest of the family. She's all over social media about him, to me it's painfully obvious she at least has a huge crush on him.
In the past couple of months, he's taken her to see fireworks with her family, to dinner (alone) and a movie (alone), and to a baseball game (alone), and those are just the things I know about. His ex gf who he had been friends with quit talking to him because of their relationship, and he's really sensitive about it... but it's really starting to weird me out, too. Am I being irrational? How do I voice my concerns, if I do? He tends to like people who like him and forgets that he's in his thirties and not in his mid-20s anymore. | He's best friends with a kid half his age and, truthfully, I'm a little threatened, but mostly concerned about both of their well-beings. |
t3_p1jbz | dogs | I want to choke people like this.. | After having a vet visit I decided to take my chihuahua, Daisy to a pet store to pick out some new toys for being such a good sport. Another lady struck up a conversation about my dog, she asked how old Daisy was (One year next month) what breed, etc. She then brought up the dreaded question "Is your dog spayed?" Not one to lie I told her the truth which proceeded into a lecture I've heard a million times, so at this point I was fuming, so I kindly explained that shortly after we brought Daisy home she had gotten outside, and got hit by a car which had split her pelvis in half and I was advised by my vet not to get her spayed until she was a year old to give her time to heal. This led into another lecture about how I should watch my dogs and basically I am horrible pet owner. First of all, I watch my fucking dogs, I think every dog in it's entire life gets outside where they should be at least once. Daisy had gotten out because we were dealing with huge separation anxiety issues so if we would open the door a crack she'd run, knowing we would be leaving her, now typically when she runs into the front yard she'll sit down and wait for us to pick her up, unfortunately this time a neighbor kid witnessed and decided to "help" by chasing our dog, which scared her into the street. I guess I am just venting but also putting it out there that you should NEVER accost someone about their pet choices, etc when you don't know the full freaking story. I love my dogs just as much as my husband. /end rant. | Some bitch at a pet store accosted me for not having my dog spayed and then for allowing my dog to get outside and get hit by a car without knowing the full story, I wanted to choke her. |
t3_3tl9bk | relationships | I [24f] often dislike my boobs. | I don't like my boobs too much. Don't get me wrong - I like boobs. I like boobs a lot. But my boobs... are so unshapely. It's literally the only part of my body I'm kind of reluctant about showing/being naked around my boyfriend. I'm not as thin as any model and I have a bit of padding around the hips. My ass is kinda shapely but eh... it could be firmer. However... these aren't the problem. I quite like my body.
But the boobs! They're unshapely (with quite large nipples) and small. They're about 4/5ths of a handful and just unshapely. They're only decent to look at when the nipples are erect. It bothers me.
I'm also worried my bf [26 for the record] thinks they're strange too.
How to get over it? | my boobs are only nice when the nipples are erect. I don't like them too much otherwise and I'm worried bf thinks they're strange too. How to get over it and accept my boobs the way they are? |
t3_1te2jr | relationship_advice | My friend,[20/f], may be coming on to me. [20/m] | I have a semi-ldr with her (nearby, but different cities) and we usually just interact through text every now and then. Lately she's been giving me signals that she's interested in me and it seems like she wants me to ask her out on a date or hang out. Consequently, she asked to meet up sometime when I'm not busy.
Now, I have a feeling this will end up in a situation where she'd want to be in a relationship, and I just want to be friends. So I'm not sure how I should tell her that I'm not interested in her in that sense.
I don't really have the time commitment for a relationship at the moment, and have other priorities over getting a girlfriend right now. | Friend wants to hang out/go on dates, I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment. How do I tell her without being a douche? |
t3_1dlgp6 | relationships | [18m] My GF is going to a different college next year and she is moving away in July. What can I do? | We are both 18. I am the boy and she is a girl. (couldn't be anymore happier... or what ever the lyrics are) We have been dating/in a relationship for about 4 months.
Our relationship is pretty serious. We have danced around professing our love but that is not the issue, entirely. I just talked to her about how we will be going to different colleges. She is also moving back to a different but nearby state over the summer. We still have two months or so to see each other easily but once she moves it will be too hard to stay in touch. I really care about her and us but I'm not sure where our relationship can go with this clock ticking away. What can I do to make this work out well for both of us? Also, this is my first serious relationship. | A girl I've been dating for 4 months is going to a different college than I am and moving away in july. What do I do? |
t3_17fwaz | AskReddit | Hey Reddit! My GF's sister smashed the bumper of my mothers car into another another car, an refuses to pay for the damages. What should I do? | Here's the backstory:
My girlfriend, her sister, and my cousin were all waiting for me at my doorstep while I was quickly getting changed to go out clubbing.
While I was changing, they went outside to start rearranging some of the cars in my driveway, because my mothers car was blocked in by other cars. My cousins needed to move his car first, but to save some time he asked the girls of they could move my moms car out. He asked my girlfriend first to which she replied she didn't want to, and next she asked her sister who was fine with doing the job.
After that things start to turn for the worst. As she started to back the car up she floored the gas (I have no clue why) and she t-boned a car that was parked on the other side of my street.
At this time i came outside, and Immediately she was begging for us to flee the scene, and after her initial claims to pay for everything, I figured we could deal with it when we get back home.
A couple hours later we get back and the car she hit wasn't there anymore. Still thinking she was going to pay for everything, I drop her home and decide to find out who's car it was in the morning.
Now this morning, she switching up her stance saying my cousin needs to pay for half of the damages since he asked her to move the car. While I agree that he shouldn't of done that, I think it's her responsibility because she could have refused at anytime, and it's pure negligence that she didn't notice the car directly behind her.
I want to find out who's car she hit ( I see it on the street often) and report the hit and run before anything gets worse. I'm just not sure exactly where to go from here.
The bumper costs $1000 to replace and install, btw. And she is In her mod 20's if that makes a difference | my cousin asks my girlfriends friend to move my moms car out of my driveway while he moves his as well. She floors the gas and t-bones it, and refuses to pay 100% for either cars damages |
t3_zeof9 | relationships | What's the answer to "Why can't we just be friends?" | Context: I [f23] have been sorta kinda pseudo dating this guy [m23] a few months ago. AKA, we talk and hang out all the time, hook up, etc for over a month. Then he just stops calling me.
About a month later he contacts me again, over the course of a few months communication picks up, we run into each other a few times, and then we're back to texting/gchatting/hanging out all day basically everyday without hooking up.
We cuddle a few times, one drunken friday, i end up in his bed, cuddling, we start kissing/talking about things. It doesn't end well. But due to beer fog I dont really recall exactly what was said, I just know that i end up leaving his house at 3am basically in tears and haven't talked to him since.
Now he wants to know why we just can't be friends. and I'm not sure what to say. Any help? | I want to date a guy, he just wants to be friends. He asks why we can't be friends, I dont know what to say. |
t3_ywt53 | relationship_advice | 6 year relationship lost its spark [22/m] [24/f] | I am a 22/m and my fiancee is a 24/f. We have been together for 6 years, lived together for the bulk of it. For the first 4 years everything was wonderful, no major fights or anything, got along fabulously. We enjoyed playing house together, and working hard at building a life for ourselves, knowing for sure that our future was bright and promising. All the while her mother was battling cancer.
Well, her mother rather suddenly lost the battle, went from what was her standard of living for years to gone within a week.
That day we gave up our way of life, our house, everything and moved into her parents house. She ended up quitting her job for a few months, she was a complete wreck. I was as understanding as I could be as I couldn't fathom the grief she was dealing with.
Fast forward to the present. She has never fully recovered from the loss of her mother. Which I do NOT blame her for, but it changed her, she was once the happiest, most outgoing, caring person I knew. Which was really what attracted me to her. Since then she has become rather jaded, spiteful, and sometimes just outright mean.
It's so hard for me, because despite all of this we are still best friends, can talk about any and everything, but I feel as if we've grown into different people. She feels as if nothing is different and I'm still the love of her life. I love her and I don't want to hurt her, but I don't feel that we're compatible anymore. She is still my best friend, she hasn't done anything wrong. I'm just not sure that shes the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I don't know if there is a way to salvage this.
I know you can't change someone.
I'm not sure I even want to. | GF of 6 years mother died 2 years ago. We both loved each other very much. Her personality has dramatically changed. I feel as if we are no longer compatible, she feels as if I am the love of her life. |
t3_31u0vd | relationships | I'm [27 F] attracted to this guy [26 M] I've known since Jan '15 - how can I become friends for now? | I am attending a non-traditional school (trade school), and I'm super attracted to one of the instructors. We are both shy people, but have been lightly flirting (and I've definitely been on the receiving end of stares from him). We are both professional, though, so it's never gotten out of hand, and I don't think anyone else has a clue.
Needless to say, it wouldn't be good for us to date now. The program finishes in July.
Another thing to consider is that, since I am shy around guys I like, I feel like a bit of a hot mess around him. I'd like to get to know him as a friend in the meantime, not to mention take advantage of his knowledge while I take this course (many people in the class think he's an amazing teacher, not just me). I've been avoiding him altogether as of late because I am so attracted to him. When we do talk, we hit it off... but then it's hard for me to focus on my work, because then I just want to be around/talk to him all the time.
I've thought about coming clean to him and saying, "hey, I'm super attracted to you, but I just want to be friends and feel more comfortable around you, so I wanted to get this off my chest", but I think that wouldn't work out well.
Thoughts on all this? Advice as to how to proceed being friends with someone who you MIGHT want to date later? | Attracted to someone, nervous around them, would like to overcome this and get to know them even though I can't be in a relationship with them yet. Advice? |
t3_zqz0u | AskReddit | Reddit, when do you butt out? | So, I've just got back home from a night out. I've been punched in the face by a stranger.
This guy offers to sell our friend "something" and starts getting arsey when our friend asks "what are you selling?". The next thing we know this guy is starting a fight and swinging fists everywhere, obviously off his face. The first thing we all do is start shouting, getting him to calm down and his mate calls over telling him to stop. By the end of it, I get punched in the mouth and another passer-by-hero gets smashed in the face so hard we think he ended up in hospital.
My question, should we have tried to force random drugged up guy out of our way and helped the random guy on the street at our own expense? | Random druggie gets aggressive, we get involved and end up hurt along with some guy we don't know. **Would you have got involved?** |
t3_1npdym | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of six months, is going to join a sorority | First off, yes I realize that our relationship hasn't been going on that long, that's part of the problem
See my girlfriend and I are going to difference colleges, they're only about two hours apart but it's still fairly difficult. Now for the first week or two of college my girlfriend has had an awful time adjusting to her new life. She doesn't feel like she's making any friends and has started to have intense spurts of depression.
I've told her that she might just need to give it some time or be a little bit more outgoing, she likes to stay in her room because of how depressed the school makes her. Still she seems to think that the best option right now would be to join a sorority, and for her I honestly have to say that she's probably right. I already feel bad because part of the reason she chose not to rush for sororities was because she wanted to stay back with me for another month. I do not want to get in the way of this decision at all, I have always tried not to be controlling.
I have conceners though, is there anyone here who can provide me with an insight into what sorority life is like? I have this crippling fear that her new lifestyle might lead her to cheat on me. She has assured me multiple times that this won't happen, and I try not to discuss it with her anymore.
It's not even so much that I don't trust her, I love her and trust her in all things, but I definetely don't trust most frat guys. Now this might be part of a misunderstanding or a prejudice on my part, but I figure that many frat guys won't really care whether a girl has a boyfriend or not.
If this just sounds like a rant or something, well it kind of is. I'm so worried because our relationship is really just getting started, it scares me to think that it could actually go somewhere (if that makes sense) while at the same time really exciting me. But this sorority thing might throw a lot of obstacles into our relationship, on top of the distance between us. | My girlfriend wants to join a sorority and Im worried that this decision could impede our relationship, provide her with a lot of peer pressure to cheat, or cause the end of our relationship entirely. |
t3_2zuj1q | tifu | TIFU by taking Booksnort without checking if anyone was home | Throwaway for reasons
So here some backstory. I play games on the computer a lot. Like, most of my life consist of computer gaming. I still live with my parents and they do not like my playing computer games at all, and times tried to convince me to get rid of my computer and get a laptop instead. They always get on me about it and it bothers me. So, I like to kill 2 birds with one stone by taking booksnort while playing computer games. I have it hidden and I usually make sure that my parents are not home when I take it. They have to open a very creaky door when they get in the house so I usually hear them coming.
So yesterday, my parents were gone, and I was playing games and taking booksnort, then what must of happened is when I raged and yelled at my computer, that sound droned out the sound of the door, so I did not hear them come in. My mom then came in to ask me something stupid and there it was, she saw me playing computer games with booksnort right infront of me. She was dead silent and left.
It did not bother me at 1st, but when the booksnort wore off, I got really anxious, so I went down to talk to her, not knowing what to say, and when I walked into the living room, my dad got off his computer and sat at the table where my my is currently sitting. Before I said anything, my dad said. "You have 2 options. You can break your computer infront of us, or you can take your computer and leave the fucking house." I made up a lie saying I need to think about it and I have important school work on my computer that I can't get rid of yet, so they said I have 3 days to decide. Anywho, I am stuck now in a impossible situation. Get rid of my 1000$ comp, or leave home | Got caught taking booksnort. I have 3 days to either leave home, or break my computer that costs 1000$ to build. |
t3_3z7b2w | relationships | Me [19 M] with my new girlfriend [21 F], havent been dating long, the (very) long distance makes me paranoid | Hello friends,
I'm currently a first year student enrolled in a Canadian university, and in December of last year I got together with a good friend of mine, and we've been dating since.
The issue is, she's an international student, living in Hong Kong; she was only in Canada for one semester sadly. I realize that we have not been dating long, and that this may seem like a petty cry for help with something not entirely essential, however I do want to make this work, if not for a while.
As a bit of background, I was dating a girl for three years in high school, however it was a very horrible relationship. I was not allowed any friends, and in the end I found out she cheated on me with her ex, and was for a while. Since then, I have trust issues and paranoia, which when coupled with jealousy, makes it hard for me to not worry about my current relationship.
To be honest, even if there was no distance involved, I would likely still be paranoid and untrusting, due to past events still lingering within me. I really want to be able to get over this so we can be happy together, at least for a while (I'm planning to go to Hong Kong to visit her in the summer for a couple months if things work well). She's made me happier than I've been my whole life in such a short time, and while that may just be infatuation talking, she really did give me hope that I desperately needed.
For the sake of a succinct thread, I'll stop some of the less important details here (I can provide any more little things here and there if it'll help with advice).
Thanks for the help, I don't really have anyone else I can turn to for this kind of thing. | How can I overcome jealousy, paranoia, and trust issues in a relationship, especially if it's a long distance relationship, if previous experience still haunts me? |
t3_3gqtgk | Advice | I am 18 and my parents won't let me go on vacation with friends. I am very mad and don't know what to do | Couple of my friends were planning on going to a holiday for a week and they asked me if I am 100% certain and I kept saying yes. My dad is supportive but mom is really scary about everything and kept saying no but then she said I'll think about it. So yesterday I had to tell one of the friends that was organizing the thing if I'm 100% confirmed, but that "i'll think about it" turned out to be a no. She just spills reason after reason after reason for me not to go and it pisses me off. I had to tell the guy i probably wont make it and he sounded as disappointing as me. I am pissed off because i feel embarrassed, everybody is letting the other guys go but not me. Sure they are one or two years older but its not that big of a difference. And now if I am not going the group will be probably smaller than expected because couple of other guys also can't make it due to different reasons. I kept telling my self I will go to this no matter what, and I probably can despite moms will but I know this will make things worse and I will basically be coming home to a battlefield if it happens. I am so stressed and pissed off right now I feel like breaking everything around me. I am certainty not going to be talking to my mother for the foreseeable future. I'm just thinking what to tell the other guys who plan on going (if they are even gonna be going, because as I said a lot of people backed out and with me too I dont know whats gonna happen) so I don't look like a fool. Any thoughts and advice is welcome. | friends plan to go on holiday, no problems with their parents, but my protective mother wont let me - me embarrassed mad and dissapointed |
t3_1o9ffz | AskReddit | MILLENNIALS of Reddit - Where is your management's leadership style missing the mark? | There has been a huge problem of retention/turnover at my company (tech start up based in NYC) and I think part of the problem is leadership style by Baby Boomer management.
A quick Google on the issue shows articles about Millennials' need for meaningful work over pay compensation and fancy titles amongst other things. But these views are often in direct conflict with key elements that define success for Baby Boomers.
Something specific to my environment are the **alpha males** in my work environment that just seem out of place in a space of primarily mid-20 to mid-30 year olds. All of the Gen-Y-ers are happy to collaborate and share responsibility in a flatter (less hierarchical) structure to tackle very complex business problems but, it often seems leadership gets in the way of people jiving.
Anyway, what is your take and/or what have been your experiences? | How are people in their 50s/60s not motivating you and your co-workers? What could they be doing better/different? |
t3_2iq0xv | legaladvice | [Canada] Customer wants to sue me for moving damage | I am located in Alberta, Canada. I own a small moving company and recently had a move where I refused to move a couch that was too big to fit in the customer's house. She got mad and paid me less than the quoted amount for the move. After, her friend asked me to move the couch to the front of her apartment, once I did, he told me to go all the way. It was clear that the couch wouldn't fit and she asked us to force it in. After it was in, she paid me extra money which I refused at first but she insisted that I take it.
The next day she messages saying her couch was damaged and we are responsible for it, she threatened to sue me and make me pay $2000 for her old fabric couch that looked like junk. There was no contract signed saying I am responsible for any damage and I don't have insurance for moving damage. The payment was in cash.
I'm wondering if she has a case and if I am liable for the damage. I am new to the business and this seems like a good way to scam companies by valuing your items at such a high price. | Our moving company refused to move a customers couch, we got paid and then was asked by her to force it in. Later she threatens to sue us for damage. |
t3_1mukno | relationships | I(18f) can't do anything to get over my ex(18m), and becoming extremely depressed because of it. | So, it's been two months since the break up and I find myself feeling the exact amount of pain I felt on the first day. I was completely in shock when we broke up because I thought we had the perfect relationship. This is what I believe is the worst part because typically people have something bad to say about the person after the break up. He was absolutely perfect for me. I was so happy...
We were best friend for almost 6 years, dating for almost three. He was my rock.
I've taken up hobbies. He broke up with me right before we left to our respective colleges. I've taken up everything I love from acting, to music, to shooting films.
I've exercised. I've lost some weight, and will continue to do so.
But I'm literally empty inside. I would think that after the break up, which was a good one because he claimed to have just stopped loving me and I claimed that it was just a phase, I would still keep my best friend... But he hasn't attempted to speak with me in two weeks! And every time we've spoken before in the past two months it's been me attempting to keep our friendship.
The pain of him not speaking to me hurts so much. Almost as much as when I do speak to him and he's happy without me.
I've tried to be strong in not texting him for some time but today I caved in again. How do I cope with these flip flop feelings? I'm happy and fine when I'm doing hobbies, but when something reminds me of him I tell myself that I would be having more fun if he was there with me. Or at least there to talk to about my days.
I'm scared I've lost the love of my life. | My ex-boyfriend/best friends lack of caring is putting me into depression. And I don't know how to cope with it. |
t3_3u5dxx | relationships | I [23m] and my friend [21f] just had our first date and I think it didn't go very well. | Sunday I finally had the guts to call my 3 year friend to a date, and she accepted and said that she was expecting this for a long time. We arranged to meet in a Ice cream parlor, and I think it didn't have ended well. The thing is that it's my first date, I never had time or tried that with anyone, but I really like this girl and have decided to try. During the date we chatted for more than 1 hour and the subjects have ended so I decided to take her home and I was hoping for a kiss but sadly she only rugged me and said bye. I have a felling that she was not so comfortable, and I didn't touched her all night, so we just chatted. I will meet her again this week for a movie, so I want some tips of how to behave so I can get her more comfortable with me so we can really have a good date and maybe we can end together. | I had my first date today and it didn't go very well, so I need advices on how to behave in our next date at the movies. |
t3_zbehs | AskReddit | What is the best way to deal with your roommate's d-bag friend who is always at the house? | So here's what's going on... I moved in with my 2 roommates last year around this time and everything was going great. Everyone gets along, we all have the same interests, we're all very clean and do our parts, and it's amazing. I have a *great* deal on rent, plenty of space, and no interests in breaking my lease or moving out.
My problem is my one roommate's douche-bag friend. We'll call him by his nickname, Ray, just in case he ever reads this he'll know exactly who he is and take a hint. He started coming over to the house about 6 months after I moved in to hang out with my roomie after he got laid off from his last job. Every now and then he would spend the night and it wasn't really an issue. Then it happened...
This man became a t-total mooch. He talks more trash than an 11 year old on Xbox live, and sounds fairly similar with his puns to that extent. I'm officially referred to as "Gay" for a first name for lack of better insults. He thinks the refrigerator is fair game. He will stay at the house, rent free, for over a week at a time, on MY couch. The man never has a cigarette and consistently bums (or steals) them from me. He has no real job. He drives on a suspended license with no insurance and cannot maintain a job. He's over 30 years old with no ambitions to better himself. He's a professional bum.
I. Hate. This. Guy. But I don't see him leaving anytime soon. I can't just kick him out, though I pay rent, so does my roommate, and it is his friend. So rather than start a fist fight with him, I want to fuck with him to the point of him not wanting to return.
I've lost some of my witty sarcasm after being toned down by my lady and not hanging around my asshole friends as much (god I love them...), so Reddit, I need your help.
How do I make this guy hate coming over and seeing me as much as I hate it? | Professional bum is staying at my house and I cannot simply kick him out. Have to make him hate coming over. Please provide witty and sarcastic asshole moves for me to use against him. Thanks! |
t3_39kvby | tifu | Tifu by tugging it in the shower. | So this morning I decided to take a shower, and after realizing I have time I might as well have a little fun.
I start thinking about some special nights, and work my way from cleaning to tugging the ol' meat sack. After about 5 minutes I for some reason decide to open my eyes and look to my right, and what I see is a huge ass fucking spider on the shower curtain. My grip turns from a soft baby stroke to a fucking iron grip nearly ripping my dick off.
The adrenaline kicked in and I smack the spider off the curtain from the other side and spray that fucker down the drain with the shower head and turn it off and leave.
So now I'm in my room, adrenaline worn off, clutching my dick. | Take a shower and spank the sperm factory and spot an 8 legged peeping Tom and nearly rip my own dick off. Fuck spiders. |
t3_p16ps | relationship_advice | Well, things went very fast, and i wasn't prepared. What should i do? | my relationship background history is a little rough. I am 25 and have not been in the dating scene for a while because of my previous rocky relationships, which ended ultimately in the breaking of a couple of girls hearts as well as mine. I'm easy going and laid back but i also live life at a fairly fast pace. My past girlfriends have become completely involved with just me and have cut their ties with their own friends and lives which ends up invading my personal space and becoming far too attached to me which makes me go crazy. I dont normally get mad but when someone wants me to run their life as well as mine it drives me absolutely nuts. Because of this I'm deathly afraid of relationships. I havent been involved with someone for 4 years since my last girlfriend
Well, I met this girl a few months back, we locked eyes and i knew there was something special about her. She was wonderful, i didnt want to leave her side, i loved bringing her around friends and she was very social and friendly. We ended up knowing a lot of the same people, but in very weird ways. Well she pretty much moved in the first day, and i was overwhelmed with love and affection and let her in. BIG MISTAKE. She wont leave, she does not talk, she acts incredibly weird around my friends now (doesnt talk and acts like a complete weirdo) my friends are as baffled as i am. She is incredibly affectionate and loving, but doesnt do ANYTHING. She wont get a job, she lays around all day doing hardly anything. She isnt motivated to do anything like get a job, and she ignores my requests and everything when i say she should move back in with her father and we should start over. She is great but i cant live with her, it is driving me mad. I also cant get her out of my house. I get mad (which takes a WHOLE lot) and mainly because she wont tell me anything about how shes feeling.
How do i get her to leave and live her own life, i also dont want her to kill herself or go crazy and do something drastic (i think she suffers from anxiety and depression issues) BUT IM NO DOCTOR. | I have a squatter living in my house that i love and cant seem to get to leave my place. We've been together for about 2.5 months now. |
t3_51wqgw | relationships | I 22m and feeling burnt out and my partners 21f makes me jealous | Hi, been a long time lurker but never thought I would post here.
So I have been working my butt off for my small adult life, ever since I was 16 I had traineeships and worked hard towards my career. So after this time I'm pretty good at what I do and have some certification behind me.
One of my issues is at the moment is the job- I love it, it's a small busines with decent and consistent turnover. Quite small office, boss and only one other employee. I'm very invested in our clients and the position I'm in. The other employee is a bosses pet, been there for years before me and cant do any wrong. Does nothing literally nothing all day long, my boss, he knows it too and dosent do anything about it no matter what gets said. All the work falls on my lap. That's cool for me, makes the day go without having to sit there doing nothing and playing games like DotA online while at work like the other employee does. It does get old seeming as he makes drastically more than me and constantly flaunts it.
Now I can't afford to just up and leave with financial commitments and really I do love my job but it makes it difficult.
Now, my girlfriend who hasnt been working the last three years due to health problems (we have been togeather nearly a year and a half). I encouraged her to get back on her feet and out again into the workforce. Great, she did that and I was very proud of her. She got a job as an admin assistant. Now, they have put her on full time recently and she gets a large sum over what I'm getting with no prior experience or any qualifications. Ive noticed I'm getting increasingly frustrated and angry at her whenever she spends her well deserved money. I feel at a major loss and don't know what to do. It's making me feel kinda worthless at work since all my effort hasn't paid off | work with someone lazy and do everything and its known. Girlfriend dosent work for years and lands a better job than mine. Feeling upset and angry at her |
t3_g945r | relationships | My boyfriend's best friend/cousin and I are in love. How do we go about this in the least wrong way? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. I am living with him and his cousin. I am a 19 year old female, my boyfriend is 23, his cousin is 24, male. In this post his cousin will be named 'Nick'.
I have a lot of options with my boyfriend. His family is wealthy, and socially elite, I guess you could say, (his father is an ESPN star.) He has offered me a well paying job. My family loves him, which is a first. Lately, he has not been showing me any compassion. We no longer share any kind of connection. When I ask to talk about it he ignores my plea or denies my allegations entirely. He is standoffish to my friends and sister, and I pretty much have to beg him to do anything with me in our free time. He is no longer the person I fell in love with, I feel like his "true colors" are coming out.
Meanwhile, I have been getting closer and closer to Nick. In a single conversation Nick will give me more compliments than my boyfriend has in the past four months. I am no where near unattractive, either. Nick and I have this connection where when he looks into my eyes it's like he is looking right into me, not just at me. I honestly think I feel real love with Nick. We just cannot get enough of each other. We have discussed the situation a lot and are convinced that this is not just lust. We have partially given in to acts of "lust", but during and after we feel even more love for each other. His dedication to me and feelings that he shows are just unreal, something I've not witnessed before.
Nick and I both believe that we should be together. He doesn't want to hurt his cousin and life-long best friend, but I think it's gone a bit too far for that not to happen.
The lease on the house is up in three or four months. My boyfriend and Nick will be house mates until then. | My boyfriend's cousin and life-long best friend and I are secretly in a relationship. How should we go about this situation to make it openly official with doing the least amount of damage? I would just like some advice, please. |
t3_e55d1 | AskReddit | What cover should I get for a semi-new MacBook Pro 17"? | So I just switched over to a Mac. A couple of months ago I got a deal on a slightly older MacBook Pro 17" at MicroCenter (in "About this Mac" it says "MacBookPro5,2"). At the time I had been planning to go with 15", but they had a slightly older model for almost nothing more that had a 17" screen, more HD, etc.
Nobody seems to carry any accessories for this thing in-house, or they are incredibly overpriced. The bottom is getting scratched up, and I am looking for something that looks good, has some color, and can protect the exterior of this thing. I see [some of these types of cases] but also have read they are prone to scratch the macbook if anything gets inside. Is this true? I would like to be able to protect my laptop (and add some color, if possible) but I have a feeling this could end up being a frustrating process if I get the wrong thing.
Any advice? Can I even find a case like this that will fit my MacBook if it's not quite the latest version? | What's a decent, cool looking option for protecting my 17" MBP(5,2), preferably something hard shell? |
t3_2kuisb | relationships | My [32] gf [28] starts a lot of fights irrationally and the stress is destabilizing my life. | My girlfriend of one year is pretty amazing in all aspects but one. When she gets upset, she starts a fight, and I mean a serious fight. She doesn't actually communicate, when I'm trying to discuss the issue she insults, demeans, and literally throws all the low blows possible. She also instigates the fights most if not all the time. Normally, we fight and I can deal with it because she is amazing and I love her.
Now, I have a start up that I am heavily vested in and it is very high risk. I love her so I include her in it superficially. She finds things that I do there or the way I handle partners and she criticizes me for it. A couple days ago she started a huge fight because of a hiring decision I made. Right along with that I have had 2 major issues that have come up with work and I don't think I can handle all this stress and I don't know what to do. Any advice? | my gf is starting a lot of hostile fights and now that my life is more stressful I don't know how to core with it all. |
t3_2e8wth | relationships | My [18F] Dad [51M] literally makes me sick. How do I get over my hatred of him? | I hate my father so much. He verbally and physically abused me frequently when I was younger. I ran away several times, contacted the police (who didn't help or care), had DYFS visits, etc. when I was younger. I am the middle child with two brothers. He was never a pleasant person in general, but I always got the absolute worst treatment.
I guess I don't want to go into details of how he treated me, because I don't think it would help. I seek advice on how to get over my hatred of him.
I hate him so much that I am literally beside myself. When I think about him, I often become nauseous. When we've had big fights in the past, I would usually get sick for a few days. If he says anything to me, it is honestly enough to ruin my whole day, possibly the week. I don't know why I am this way. I don't WANT to be this way. I don't WANT to hate him so much but I simply cannot find it in my heart to not hate him. My hatred for him is practically ruining my life. I feel like such a broken person now.
Reddit, what can I do? I have already been to therapy about this and I can't say it helped particularly much. | I hate my dad so much that I get sick from interacting with him sometimes. How do I get over this hatred and move on with my life? |
t3_17pik3 | books | [Request] Looking for a book on dinosaurs for an adult! | My girlfriend grew up homeschooled and I took her last month to the Museum of Natural History for her first time. I didn't even think of it as she stood silently in front of the skeletons of the prehistoric beasts. She was in awe, and had a million questions I couldn't answer. She can't wrap her head around how they find, date, reconstruct etc!
There was a book in the store that explained how the dinosaurs were dated, and how we know about what their skin was like. I can't remember the name of the book though...
But I am open to suggestions! She is an excellent reader and I'd like to get this for her for valentines day. She had the same look as all the knee high grasshoppers around her. | I need a book that answers all the questions someone (adult) who's never even thought of the existence of such a creature might have. |
t3_3tfph9 | relationships | I [F30] got back together with ex husband [35M], 5 years married, 1 divorced. What 'are' we now? | My ex and I got divorced because he wanted kids and I didn't. He has since changed his mind. We both haven't really dated other people (both went on a few dates that amounted to nothing). We went NC after or very amicable divorce, but met each other at a party 5 months ago.
My ex has done some 'soul searching' and he regrets throwing away what we have. I was reluctant to start dating him again and we were friends for a while, but after some reflecting and lots of talking I am willing to learn to trust him again.
We decided to get back together on last week. We are going to go to counseling and we want to take it slow! So no moving in together yet or anything.
However, we aree not sure of what we 'are' now. Are we 'boyfriend girlfriend' or 'husband and wife'? Calling him by bf would feel very strange, but he is technically not my husband anymore.
It is different than dating because we love each other and have a history, but also different from marriage.
Does anyone have experience with getting back together after divorce? Did yu remarry? Did it go well? | = got back together with ex husband. We don't know the logistics of this. Please help, any tips are welcome. |
t3_4bx15h | relationships | Me[ 17M ] with my Girlfriend[ 16 F ] Parents Angry at me | Hello everybody! I've been a lurker here for years, so finally the time has come for me to consult the people of reddit!
Okay I'm going to make it as short as possible here, so here we go.
I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over 5 months now, and my GF's parents are against the relationship due to her "needing to focus on her studies" and all that, since it's a major exam.
Now here's the thing, her parents are threatening me right now ( both of them ) in text that they would find my parents and essentially cause a shitload of unnecessary problems , should I continue meeting up with her or even MESSAGE her.
Do I have a right to get super pissed here?
My reasoning would be that this is a two-way thing, so even if they aren't even able to control their child, does that give them the authority to boss me around?
How do I reply their long text?
I'll paraphrase it here.
"MY NAME! This is HER NAME'S father, u have to break off with her.. why r u disturbing her again. this is my last warning to u! If I am seeing you msg/skype or seeing her again, i will straight confront yr father to stop u! Mark my words, THIS IS MY LAST WARNING TO U! STOP NOW"
Pretty speechless. This sounds extremely immature, but I have a pretty bad temper and my vision tends to be shrouded when I'm angry. Thus I seek the help of my fellow redditors! | GF's parents goes apeshit after seeing me texting her and all that. Sends me long angry "threatening" text, no idea whether to be polite or rude. |
t3_3eekht | tifu | TIFU by not wanting to be bored | So, of course this didn't happen today. It happened a many years (I must've been 7-9 years old) ago, and looking back on it, it is still super embarassing.
Anyways, I had a hockey game very early in the morning. After my game was finished, I was told I had to wait for my brother's game to be done, which upset me. Y'know, 7am, and now I gotta sit in a freezing arena!
So, being a kid I thought I could kill time if I found a ball I could shoot & stick handle around with. I go into my brother's team's changeroom, and find a tenis ball perfectly lodged in one of the bars on the ceiling.
This is where the fuck up begins... the ball is way too high for me to reach. All that's in the room is a bunch of empty hockey bags, a garbage can, and my hockey stick. No big deal, I'll just check if the garbage bin has anything in it, and if not I'll turn it upside down and stand on it with my stick to get it down.
So, here I am, moving the bin over to the ball. I turn the bin upside down, and all this barf just fell out onto someone's hockey bag! Oh my godness, I was so scared. I tried to clean it up, but it was still on the bag, and it smelled terrible.
I waited for the game to be done, heart beating super quickly. I apologize to the father with tears in my eyes, and he looks at me and says it's okay. I felt so bad, I just wanted to curl up and dissapear. | Got bored at my brother's hockey game, wanted to play, got barf all over a dude's hockey bag. |
t3_2dwphq | relationships | Me 28F with my 28M of 1.5 years, wondering if constant Facebook lurking is a warning sign.. | My boyfriend and I went to a party about 7ish months ago and we met some new people. Since then, he has been consistently (at least once every couple days) lurking this one girl we met's Facebook page as well as a couple other girls, both of which he used to know.
I want to add that yes, I invaded his privacy by looking at his Facebook search history. I realize this calls our trust into question but to be fair, we have access to each other's Facebooks so I didn't go on with the intent to snoop.
I want to know if this is something I should be concerned about regardless of the fact that he says it's out of "curiosity". He met this girl once and it implies he thinks about this person very often enough to take the time to search and lurk her on Facebook. It made me feel sick because in my mind, it says he is interested in other people and I thought things between us were going great.
In all honesty, I lurk Facebook from time to time, everyone does. I have lurked someone I've met at a party before, however it's usually a one-time deal. The fact that he has been repeatedly doing this with about 3 specific women on an almost-daily basis concerns me and I am thinking about ending it because I feel like he is a creep. | boyfriend consistently lurking a few specific girls facebook, one of whom he doesn't know and met once, considering breaking up. |
t3_20cxhb | relationships | 21(M) talking to his ex-girlfriend again. I (19F) feel weird about it. 1+ year | My LDR boyfriend told me a few weeks ago he had been talking to an old friend of his lately, because she had gotten into contact with him again. He neglected to tell me she was his ex-girlfriend, before tonight when he asked if I was okay with him talking to her and that he had been worried about her (since she's had a difficult life and it's completely understandable why he has been worried. Raped when younger, has a kid she hasn't seen in a year)
I just feel odd because he neglected to tell me she was his ex and she has sent him pictures of her without a shirt on and just in a bra and what looks like purple boyshorts and a picture where she's acting "sexy" by sticking her finger in her mouth. He doesn't see anything wrong with the pictures, because "she doesn't have tits anyway." Is this something I should be worried about? I feel stupid. | boyfriend talking to ex-girlfriend, neglected telling me she was his ex/she sent questionable pictures. I feel weird. |
t3_2k2r0c | relationships | Me [30 F] with my husband [31 M] married 5 years, barely have anything in common anymore | My husband and I moved to a new country. Over the last five years, our social circles have barely anyone in common anymore, our hobbies have changed (he's given up a few we used to share for others I don't care for) and so we barely have anything in common anymore, nor anything in common to talk about. Some days we'll just do things on our own after work and only have generic "how was your day" conversations.
All around me I see people with spouses or partners and they seem to have things in common and enjoy doing things together. How common or uncommon is it to have almost completely separate lives and only really meet for dinners out a couple of times a week or do our own things (me gaming, him watching TV) in the same room but barely talking? | How common is it for long term couples to not really have much in common anymore? We still love each other but barely have anything to talk about anymore. |
t3_w5390 | AskReddit | How can I get whois history data removed from DomainTools - I'm being defamed | Somebody has been trying to defame my name using various methods online. They have been posting blog articles with untrue statements about me. Recently I found out they registered some very inappropriate domain names using my name and contact information as another way of trying to ruin my reputation. They posted the DomainTools history on several forums. Is there any way to get this removed from DomainTools?
I contacted them and they said to contact the original registrar. The domain wasn't renewed at the end of this year and now lists somebody else as the domain owner. Is there anything I can do? | Somebody registered some not-so-nice domains using me as the tech contact as a way of defaming me. Is there any way to get the WHOIS history removed from DomainTools? |
t3_o0d70 | AskReddit | Does anyone else have strange qualitys they obtained from their parents? | I'll start, my father is in no way abusive but due to him I've concluded I have a distaste for masculine figures. My father was a professional soccer player, and he has always had this attitude of hiding emotion and sucking up pain. Due to this he is what some call "passive aggressive" he always acts moderate but you can tell when he's mad and to stay out of his way. He never comes right out and says what bothers him but will longer around and make you feel very uncomfortable until he snaps in a sense. After my parents divorce, my mother noticed that I came out of my shell in a way. I freely express myself and am much happier without his constant pressence. But as a result of always have to suck things up I rarely ever complain(which is both good and bad) I have really bad feet and never complained about it because I thought everyone felt that way and I was just not fit enough. Now I require 1000$ orthodics and other treatment for them. My dad has always been a manly man, and as a result I never really felt emotionally connected and so on. I play the feminine character in any video game and the list goes on. My story is not a bad one but I feel that it's interesting. What about you reddit? | my dad is a manly man who is very emotionally detatched and as a result I often find myself picking feminine roles in video games aswell as not complaining about anything. |
t3_1rbqor | relationships | Me [19m] with my ex [20F] breakup after 6~months. Need advice. | So ill try not to make it too long:
We met at at our summer camp job, and started dating after about a month. We did a lot of stuff after camp, sometimes just us, sometimes other counselors. We always had tons of fun doing whatever we did. whether it was hiking or rollerblading or canoeing etc...
Once camp was out we had two weeks before school started and we hung out pretty much every other day for a majority of that day, nothing was boring and we'd have fun doing anything.
Once school started we were still able to hang out, i could drive up on the weekends and spend the time there, or she would come down. Same deal everything is fine.
Some more details about her, shes pretty religious, but i was very accepting of it , im not very religious, and she never made a huge deal about it to me.
Fast forward to a month and a half into school, shes at a church small group meeting and when we talk later that night she breaks up with me because she doesnt feel its right. Basically i'm not christian. She has no complaints about anything except that. So obviously I'm pretty sad about.
We still talked fairly soon after the breakup, and we would hang out and talk and have a good time. After about two months she wanted to start dating again. Well that only lasted about two weeks, and the breakup was in similar fashion. And she doesn't want any contact with me at all. And now im just here lost. I lost much more than just a girlfriend, but someone i loved just doing outdoors stuff with that I can't do with my other friend, and its just I feel really lost.
Need advice with how not think about her so much, because she was a big part of my life and now shes just gone with no warning (the day before we decided to meet up over the weekend, and talking about winter break stuff to do ) | GF broke up with me over religious exclusive reasons, and completely abandoned friendship out of nowhere, feel lost and have a lot of mixed emotions about it, need some advice. |
t3_32brdu | relationships | Me [19F] with [19M]: He has 'feelings' for me but can't get into a relationship. Help? | I met this guy about a month ago and we kicked it off pretty well. We talk every single day and we really understand each other. It's as if he is a male version of my own. We met up and started hanging out and we kissed more than once. He confessed feelings to me and as so I did to him and we even talked about having sex. It's a short period of time but we feel as if we have known each other for a very long time and even also had pretty deep conversations.
We're both very attracted to each other but now he says he cannot get into a relationship. (He was in a 3 year relationship that ended some months ago). He was very upset about this and so was I, and he said he does not want to lose me as a 'friend' as well (since we did also kind of become friends). I'm so confused because this came out of nowhere. He says he does not want to hurt me and that he hates himself for doing it. I told him that I still want to do psychical stuff with him and he does too. Though, he says it's not only lust to him but he's afraid we won't be able to put our 'emotional' feelings toward each other away. What do I do? I have no clue how to handle a situation like this and maybe any of you have advice? Do I stay friends and hide my feelings or do I just go on and leave it? | I fell into deep too quick and we caught feelings. He says wants me but can't get into a relationship with me and now I don't know what to do. |
t3_15z8b6 | relationship_advice | My(F/27) boyfriend's(37) roommate doesn't like me. | **WHOA! Edit to title! He's 30, not 37!)**
We've been going out happily for 7 months. BF doesn't have a car so I drive him to and from work every day - that's not the problem, I actually enjoy that time together. Because I drive him, I stay at his place usually 7 days a week, which both of us like, and mostly just for sleeping. We like to go out. The problem is that his roommate made a comment to my BF that I'm there too much. My BF told me, but I don't think was supposed to. The roommate doesn't know I know he said that. I think part of it is that he's jealous of me taking my BF's time (I think he wants more bro time) and the other is that he's jealous of our relationship in general. The thing is, my boyfriend doesn't really need or want to spend more time with him. We're both very busy. And he doesn't have a relationship because he's kind of a dick. Like, we get along and can laugh and have a good time but inside I'm thinking "misogynistic asshole."
Does any of this even matter? It's not my problem, it's not my BF's problem, it's the roommate who has a problem. Part of me feels he can move out if he wants to, BF has plenty of friends who also have girlfriends who wouldn't care. I am nice to roommate, I actually do all of his dishes (never said a word about it), take out the trash, and bring home food and beer for everyone.
Boyfriend and I are not financially able to get our own place, I'm still a student living with my parents.
Should I say something to roommate? My BF calls me to come over every night, should I say no sometimes? Is there something I can do to make roommate happier? Ignore the whole thing?
Thanks for any advice. | Boyfriend's roommate thinks I'm there too much, boyfriend and I don't. Can't afford our own place yet. |
t3_1jyyzk | relationships | Should I [25/m] text her [24/f] when she's busy? | Ten dates in. She's extremely busy with work and professional exams. Her already busy week got even busier, and she texted me a few days ago saying why it got worse, she can't get together, and wished me a fun couple of days with my dad.
She doesn't know how long he is here for, but he left today. I never responded to her text (first time, ever) because it slipped my mind as I was moving, dad was visiting, etc.
Normally she never sets up a date in advance, but usually will (not intentionally out of a lack of attraction) say she can't, and offer a late night meet up once or twice a week. But, I want her to put some more effort in with this even if she is very busy.
Should I continue not to respond to play a game and make her sweat, seem less available, or send something supportive? If the latter, what?
Oh, we went out 10 times, well, hung out 10 times, with like 4 legit dates, 6 meetups at one of our places. Outside of that, she's very busy at work and with her life we don't text too much other than in response to logistics about meeting up, which I dn't like. | Not sure if I should game the girl I am talking to, who is very attracted to me, or send a supportive message. |
t3_2vogh4 | relationships | I [23 M] think I want to break up with my GF [20 F], but I have no idea if that's actually the case. | I have been dating my current GF for a little over a year and a half and I am at the point where I dont think I am happy anymore. I just don't get excited to see her like I used to, sometimes I feel like seeing her is more of an obligation than something that I want to do. We have been fighting more and more lately and it is really beginning to wear on me. On top of all this, she freaks out if I don't text her CONSTANTLY throughout the day (my job/school keep me occupied all day long).
However, when I think of breaking up with her I begin to freak out. Not only does the idea of not having her scare me, but I do love her. But I just feel like things between us are not working. I can't even talk to her about this kind of stuff because she just starts crying every time I bring it up. I'm at my wits end, I don't know what to do and I am afraid that if I do end things I may have fucked up the best thing I ever had.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. | Not sure if I should break up with my girlfriend. I'm not really happy with our relationship but I don't want to end up regretting it in the long run. |
t3_nio9c | AskReddit | Help me save my 10 year-old cousin. What can I do? | He's 10 years old (5th grade) and he's basically neglected by his father, mother and sisters. Socially, he's extremely awkward; you can't have a conversation with him. Physically, he doesn't do any sports. For leisure, he plays games on his iPad or watches TV, unmonitored. Academically, he goes to a shitty public school (mainly cause his dad refuses to spend a cent on his son's education) and his grades are very poor. His mother (my aunt) comes to our house every day and complains about how he doesn't do his homework and that she doesn't know what to do with him. She also makes excuses that she was never meant to be a mother. She has two other daughters (18 and 20) who are doing great mainly because my grandmother played an important role in bringing them up.
What can I do, as his 22 year-old cousin, to help him? Everyday, my mom and I lecture my aunt about how she should spend more time with him (instead of wasting countless hours shopping, or on Facebook, or BBMing) but she takes it personally and refuses to learn. | 10-year old cousin neglected by his parents, doomed for failure in life if things don't change. What can I do? |
t3_3jg91i | relationships | I'm [22 M] not sure if I should break up with my gf [19 F] because of her family | Hi all, I've got a problem that I hope you guys can help me with. I'm a 22 year old university student dating a 19 year old university student. I recently got into a relationship with her in July. It's my first relationship since I've always been an awkward kind of guy, so I was ecstatic when I asked her out and she said yes.
The problem is this. My girlfriend is Indian, and comes from a very strict background. Her parents are incredibly protective of her, and forbid her from even hanging out with guys in public, because they think all men are horndogs. She says she likes me, but tells me that our relationship has no future. The reason for this is because I'm not Indian myself, so her parents would never accept me. I suggested that I would fight for their approval, but she doesn't want to risk having her family hate her for this. So now that I know that I can't really ever be with my gf, what should I do? I can't even treat her like my girlfriend in public, because of her family friends of relatives seeing her with a guy. In fact, I've barely seen her recently, because her mother thinks something's up. I might just be overly sensitive, but it really hurts, knowing this. | gf told me that she would never consider telling her parents about us and that there's no future. What should I do? |
t3_31r9oe | tifu | TIFU by buying my friend chocolate and flowers | So, this still has me a little puzzled. It happened about a month ago.
Little back story, I just started college in a new state. In one of my classes there was this beautiful English girl (I've got something for accents) We ended up hitting it off, so I thought. Talked everyday, she called me every morning before our class, and every evening. We went to lunch a lot. This all happening over 2-3 months.
So, it is her birthday coming up, and I tell her I want to do something nice for her. She says she doesn't celebrate birthdays and I am like, well you do with me. That was that, I was going to take her out etc..
Now, being from England she loved their chocolate, so I ordered some direct, as you cannot buy Cadbury in the US anymore. 2 packs of 12. First gift.
Then I bought some flowers online like I have many times for my family, just some nice tulips, nothing crazy. Had them set to be delivered at her house.
The friday before her birthday she stops talking to be and doesn't come to class, we then go on spring break. Her birthday comes around. Still absolutely nothing from her, called her twice, sent a few texts. Kinda thought she got hurt ya know? Now let me tell you, I was completely fine with being her friend. She is pretty cool and very funny, if she didn't like me the same as her no biggie, we just talked about it, I am used to it. I would have liked a girl friend. So I told her I was going to drop off the candy, and I did, I left it on her doorstep in a birthday bag. Still nothing. Turns out she was with another guy, which is all fine and dandy but like just tell me.
Now we are not friends at all. So much for being a good friend. | Met a really cool girl, thought we were really good friends, bought her gifts for her birthday and now we don't talk at all. |
t3_11llk3 | offmychest | I am SO sick of my family | This is a long story, so I'll try to condense it as much as possible while still making sense.
A little over a year ago my husband and I moved to Illinois after I graduated (While we were still dating) and we moved in with my grandma to help her save money. We were promised by her and my dad that she would be moving to Arizona in a couple months. So cool, we needed a place to stay.
About a month after we moved in, she quit her job. She went to ONE open interview wearing dirty clothes, then gave up on everything. She made a little money from the government. Something having to do with my grandpa's death.
So she's been using all of our stuff, bitching about us to the rest of the family, making my dog fat, complaining about everything.
So my husband and I got fed up and told my dad we were just going to move out. He said to give him some time. He'd buy a house, she'd live with him. Then he said once she moved, we could HAVE her trailer. That was his selling point. "Why rent a house when you can have the trailer for free?" So we stayed for a couple months. He just bought a house that they should be moving into next month.
Then suddenly today, she tells us that since she payed $7,500 for her trailer about 5 years ago that if we decide to stay we owe her $6,000. It wasn't even worth what she paid for it. If we resell it, we'd probably get about $1,000 for it. MAYBE. She pretty much destroyed it with her hoarding.
My dad seems to think we're going to live here for 5 or so years. I don't want to be here at all. Honestly, since my husband and I will be getting a rent-paying roommate, I think we may just tell her to sell it her fucking self.
I don't even know what to do though. This whole situation is shit.
If it seems confusing, I probably left out some info. I'll gladly clear things up in comments. | My husband and I live with grandma, grandma quits job, we stay for free trailer, now we're going to owe her $6,000. |
t3_2m6n4l | relationships | How do i get over my ex [19M] cheating on me [19F] with my (then) close friend [19F]? | Last year, my then boyfriend broke up with me after a 4year relationship. Shortly after, a few months or so, i discovered he was with my close friend (of ~6 years). The timing of everything was ambiguous to me but I assumed that he'd just moved on really quickly. I was upset and i blamed both parties equally for hurting me because I felt that they had an obligation to at least talk to me. Not to ask permission or my blessing but just to breathe some word of it to me. Instead, a mutual friend accidentally blurted it out and that was how i found out about it all. From there, it just circulated and between all of us, myself, my ex and my friend, it was sort of unspoken knowledge that they were now together and that i knew.
We haven't talked since then (early this year) and I've been doing okay. I got over being sad/mad about everything but today i found out there was more to the story than i had originally thought.
They used to hang out one on one, a weekly occurrence that I was not aware of. On one occasion he kissed her and because we had exams coming up he decided he'd break up with me after that. Fair enough. After the break up I asked him if he had feelings for anyone and he straight up denied it. So he lied as well. I'm not really sure what I'm asking for here. I understand what has happened but I'm lost as to what I should do. A part of me wants to make them know how badly theyve hurt me but a part of me feels like it's too far back to revisit it. Do I need closure, should i talk to them? Is there any point in facing what has already happened ages ago. I just feel really betrayed and disappointed in both of them and I'm not sure what I should do. Or how to really get over all this. Any advice would be very much appreciated | Was hurt that my ex moved on very quickly and got with a good friend of mine. Found out he actually kissed her whilst he was with me. Not sure what to do from here |
t3_40vq0k | tifu | TIFU by making a youtube video with the door cracked. | First let me say I haven't even made a mainstream youtube account, let alone editing. Please believe me when I tell you that I have no intention of self promoting.
I am a 22 year old male choosing to live at home because eventually I plan to have my own house built on this giant property. I smoke ALOT medical marijuana and a decent amount of people I call friends told me I should do youtube, so I figured stick to what I know. before I started to record I went to grab some water for my bong and came back into my room without closing my door. Now! My door when closed is smell proof because of the inner frame work sucking the door in. my parents are aware of how much I smoke, but the house NEVER smells like weed because I also have a door that leads to outside and I use that to go around and keep the whole house odorless. so me not knowing the door wasn't closed I started to record my video... 1.8 grams and 20 mins later I was done. I notice my mother isn't home which is who I fear will flip her shit. sadly my dad and uncle were on the other side NOT TELLING ME SHIT!!! for 20 mins they did not tell me, " hey!, your making the whole house smell like weed!" so I wait for my mother to return. I know im fine, but I feel bad. I don't try to do stupid things like this, im very respectful. | Smoked weed in my bedroom trying to make a youtube video without closing my smell proof door and made my parents house smell like a cypress hill concert. |
t3_2up7nq | relationships | Me [20M] with my ex [21F], am I an asshole? | Hey reddit, just wanted to ask a question about my behavior and situation currently to get some advice.
So a few months ago, my ex of a little over a year and I broke up after she admitted to cheating on me multiple times. I started seeing someone else shortly after, and unfortunately that fizzled away after a few months.
Recently (we've become casual friends), she told me that she has officially started dating the guy she cheated on me with, and they're supposedly very happy together. However, a few days before getting this news, she was telling me how she didn't even want to kiss him, and that she couldn't ever see herself dating him.
We've been hanging out casually since they've been together, and she's been open and flirtatious with me (joking around like we used to, putting her hands on my face, hugging me often and letting me put my arm around her), so that's worth considering.
Am I an asshole for wanting to get with her just so I can ruin their relationship? I know I very well could sound obsessive but I know he's not right for her, she told me so herself.
Also it's worth noting that we've hooked up once since we've broken up (both a bit tipsy).
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. | ex cheated, debating hooking up with her just to ruin her current relationship with the guy she cheated on me with. |
t3_1tj71n | relationships | Is it ok to make someone that has a crush on you to your fuckbuddy? | I (22M) have this girl (21F) that has a crush on me, but I don't have the same feelings for her. Thing is, I am interested in someone else (22F) and I am having sex with this person. We are having problems though.
I have a very high libido and I have been thinking a lot on polyamory relations. I have been thinking of trying to make this girl, that has a crush on me, my fuckbuddy just because i "need" sex on such a frequent level and with the unstable relationship i have with the other girl (22F).
When I say "need", I don't mean that I am addicted, I just prefer doing it with someone else than using my hand.
I don't want to hurt this girls feelings or make her feel used. Should I just tell her what I want or should I just go for it? The girl that I am already having relations with is not a factor in this decision.
I realize I may come off as a douchebag, but it's really not the case. I really care about this girls feelings and I don't want to hurt them.
Suggestions? | Girl has a crush on me. I am not interested in the same way. Is it ok to make her my fuckbuddy even though she has feeling for me? |
t3_4vkmbh | relationships | How do I [20F] talk to my roommates [19F/19F/19M] about marijuana | I am a college student moving into my first apartment in one month with three of my very good friends. We are all pre med students going into our sophomore year and have known each other for a little more than a year. I really like all of these people and consider them my closest friends. Everything regarding finding an apartment and getting ready to move in so far has gone very smoothly and we have had no issues.
One of my roommates was a serious stoner in high school, and the other two have occasionally smoked weed both alone and with mutual friends of ours. I do not smoke, and frankly weed makes me very anxious. I don't want to be the kind of person that everyone resents because they aren't relaxed and cool with everything having to do with drug use (and I've had friends of mine make comments calling me a goody two shoes because of this before).
I respect that everyone has the right to make their own decisions, and I don't want to tell my roommates what to do, but I am deeply uncomfortable with anyone smoking weed in our apartment or even having weed in their rooms. I am worried about someone getting caught and me having to deal with a legal issue that will screw me over when I apply to medical school even if I'm not directly involved. I would ideally like anything having to do with weed to be a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" type of situation, but I don't know how realistic that is.
So I guess what I'm asking is, is it unreasonable for me to request that my roommates and friends go elsewhere when they want to smoke and how can I make myself not seem like a lame person for not wanting to know about or be involved in things like this? | I am uncomfortable with people smoking weed in my apartment and don't know how to bring up the subject with my roommates. |
t3_fvdst | relationship_advice | Ex wants to be friends, but I'm not so sure | My ex of 3+ years and I broke up about a month ago. Due to a number of reasons (she's just graduating from college at 25, she's suffered depression her whole life and wants to get healthy), she basically didn't want to continue being in such a serious relationship. I think that she feels very young, and that she has a lot of growing up and healing to do that requires her to be on her own. Of course I know this includes dating other people, but she's also never lived on her own and wants to do that before she gets engaged/married/etc.
The complicated thing is that we both love each other very much. Up to the day we broke up, she talked about how much she loved me and about our future together. Even as we were breaking up, she told me that she thought there was a possibility that we might end up together at some point in the future. As a result, she wants to stay friends.
I'm open to the possibility that we might end up together at some point, but right now I really just want to move on with my life. I'm looking at it as an opportunity to get to know myself better, and figure out the type of person that I want to be going forward (I'm 26).
My question is, do you think it's worth it to stay friends, or should I go the no-contact route until I feel like I've gotten over her? I don't want to throw away the possibility of a future for the two of us, but I also don't want to string myself along and prolong the misery. | Girlfriend of 3 years and I broke up. She wants to stay friends because she thinks that we might have a future together at some point. Is she being unreasonable? |
t3_3d5xab | tifu | TIFU by almost telling my friend's gf that he's cheating on her. | The fuck up happened the other night actually. My friend who I had been out of touch with after high school decided to start talking to me again. When we're catching up he tells me that he has a girlfriend and they're in an open relationship, so they can have sex with whoever and proceeds to show me pics of all the girls he's doing. We end up talking and he starts trying to convince me to have sex with him, which I decline to and continue to decline. So the other night we're texting, he falls asleep, and his girlfriend starts texting me. We end up talking about staying in shape and I tell her it'd be beneficial for their type of relationship. She responds completely baffled saying that she never agreed to that arrangement and that they discussed this before and decided against it. I quickly realize that my friend is lying to his gf and I just gave away his secret, so I lie and cover up for him. But I know for sure he's cheating on her and now I feel bad for lying. | Accidentally told my friend's gf he's cheating, then lie to cover it up. Now I feel shitty. |
t3_1j2dnv | relationships | Me[27M] with my GF [26F] of 11months, living together past 4 months, having 2nd thoughts... | So I'm basically wondering if due to several factors I'm weighing in, if I should start communicating my doubts about staying together. Example: When we're together, it's great 90% of the time, though I feel like her lack of expressiveness is hindering our conversations, and I like in depth, interesting conversations.
She's a big fan of Landmark Education Seminars and wants me to sign up but I don't think I need or want it. I'm handling life's problems as they come and trying to be proactive about life as well. Also, she's a country music fan (not hard core, she likes Jack Johnson and R&B too, for example) but I'm being open-minded because I have an eclectic taste anyhow. She's not pushy about me listening to country beyond us compromising what music we listen to at home. I think her taste in music/movies/TV is pretty poor too, and I value the time I have to enjoy myself so definitely don't want to settle there.
She and I both have very mild psoriasis, (my whole life, her just since she was 21) so I love that she helps me improve my diet/health, but I prefer to substitute drinking with smoking and am dealing with that at the moment because she thinks I'm an a-hole when I'm high and she can't/won't explain exactly why (I know I get impulsive but in good fun).
So we are great intimately, she feeds my ambition, keeps me interested, we love hiking together, but I still am left feeling like I want something more. I don't know if this is something perpetual, that I'll always want someone even more attractive, with higher goals, but for labeling purposes, I'm a (relatively) successful collegiate athlete and Ivy League graduate. I realize I have a tendency to be judgmental and I'm even talking to her about it objectively (she doesn't know how it's affecting my POV on our relationship).
The main issues are poor communication ("different wavelengths"), waning attraction, different tastes in music & movies. | Great relationship minus differing tastes in music/movies and somewhat poor communication. She doesn't like me smoking pot either, but I only enjoy it once/week or so. |
t3_46hyy2 | tifu | TIFU by going into Computer Science early | So, this ended up starting back in August, actually. I was going to be a freshman at my local community college, and had some AP scores that went particularly well. I sent those to the community college back in July. However, they get nothing. Weird, alright. I send the information to my Academic Advisor, she says everything's fine!
I talk to her on the classes I can take, and she tells me that I can only skip Programming Fundamentals 1. Not the best, but better than nothing I guess. I go through the class, nothing special... And then the next semester comes in.
I'm taking Programming Fundamentals 3 now, and I get to find out that she misplaced my AP scores. Alright, no problem, that can be fixed. I re-send her the information and things get sorted out today... And then I see it.
I automatically got all of the credit for Programming Fundamentals 2, the class I took last semester. Thanks to that, $500+ was wasted on a class I didn't need, and all because I just wanted to hurry up and start the class without making sure everything was fine first. | I fucked up by not waiting and making sure that my AP scores went through, and of what classes they would let me skip. |
t3_2ejbmw | offmychest | Fucking job. | But I'm so ANNOYED.
So I'm currently working as a telemarketer. At first, I was excited, because I like learning new things and what have you, but as the job worn on, people and their shitness got to me. At any rate, I applied for another job--an assembly factory job. There was an ad, sign on bonus, referral bonus, paid orientation, etc. I went to the interview, I *thought* I did good. I passed the test with flying colors and what have you, lady said she just needs to background check to clear but she was pretty confident we got the job unless we're some ax murderer or what have you. Will take a few days. I'm feeling good at this moment so I decide that Im going to put in my two weeks as the telemarketing job is very taxing on my soul. So I put it in last Thursday so I can have the 28th be the last day. I did this because I made plans to go camping and if I didnt, i'd have to work that Saturday (Saturday, Sunday, Monday, camping with my family). Anyhow, back to the story, I wait until the day that she's suppose to call me--she doesnt. So I planned on calling her back but that Friday I was sick and my voice sounded grotesque so I figured I'll do it Saturday. I end up cleaning my apartment Saturday, and it's late, so I figured I'd do it Monday morning, as Sunday is a horrible day to call anyone. So I called her and she says something along the lines of "we wont have any placements for you until a month". I specifically requested 5pm-5am. A shift NOBODY wants to work, a shift she said at the interview they NEEDED to be filled.
LIKE... WHAT THE FUCK. If there's going to be a fucking sign on bonus, as well as a fake ass interview to make it seem like you HAVE the job, then freaking give me the job. Or if my background check didnt clear and I'm a fucking ax murderer, then fucking say that. Dont play these stupid games. | current job sucks, apply new job, 'get new job', quit old job, new job placement takes a month. |
t3_1qt0y7 | relationships | Girlfriend [16F] Cheated on Me [19M] 3 Weeks Ago, I Forgave Her, is it Realistic to Trust Her Again? | First serious relationship for both of us. Almost 6 months. After the first month, I was out of the country for a month, but we picked up from where we were right away. The day before our 5 months, she goes to one of my friends parties, and gets really drunk. And also said "Don't lie, your jealous I slept with ____" (We've had sex, but have not been able to sleep over yet)
That morning, she texts me, and tells me she had fun. And shared a bed with my friend (male). I was fine with this, it's better than drinking and driving.
I don't drink, never have had a sip, so I can't understand the feelings and emotions. However, she tells me she made out with one of my good friends. Went back to another guys house, and shared a bed with him (No sex, just sleeping). She told me the next day and said she felt very guilty and sorry. And would understand if I chose to end things.
This was a stressful week for me. Midterms, a major paper, in my first year of university. She knew this.
3 weeks later, we are back together. This weekend she is out of town with mutual friends for a competition. Being cheap teenagers, they all cram into a hotel room to save money. So she'll be sharing a bed with another guy. I'm pretty sure no girls went. She says she will never cheat again. And feels really guilty still. But I fear about it happening again. And have no idea on how I can prevent it without always being by her side. Which obviously is not possible.
There are also a few parties coming up (I don't drink, so I usually don't go to parties, I just find them boring), and it just has me nervous to have her going on her own. But I'm her boyfriend, not her babysitter. | Girlfriend cheated on me. Stayed together and tried to forgive her. But afraid it will happen again. Would it be easy to end it? Or is it worth a bit of emotions to sort out? |
t3_i693c | AskReddit | Help! Found a litter of kittens in my wall. What do I do? | The other night my roommate noticed some meowing coming from our radiator and realized that there was a litter of kittens living in the wall of our basement. Because our building is a piece of shit and our landlord is also a piece of shit, the wall has black mold growing on it. Yesterday, after my girlfriend and I got home from work, she went into the backyard to look for the kittens' mother, whom she found immediately and brought inside. Once downstairs, the mother meowed once and all four kittens, not much more than a week old, stumbled out one-by-one. They all seem to be healthy and nursing and are currently hanging out as a family in our bathroom. We can take care of them for a week or so at most because we're moving at the end of the month. What should I do with them? Will shelters take kittens and a mother together or do the kittens have to be orphaned? Does someone want to adopt 5 cats? Give me your advices. I'm in Bushwick, Brooklyn. | found a litter of kittens, found the mom, they seem to be healthy, how do I get rid of them? |
t3_4cay12 | personalfinance | Taking a big pay cut to get a pension, is a pension better than saving on my own 401k/ira? | So I am in a bit of a predicament. Currently, I am in sales, I like what I do but this industry is VERY volatile. I've been laid off numerous times, companies shut down, sales comp plans cut, pay cuts etc etc. I've seen it all. I'm in a pretty good place right now and make $120k+ annually, did $150k in 2015, so it fluctuates based on sales.
Two years ago I applied for a government job as a firefighter. It is great hours, 2 shifts a week, 20 hours each. 80% pension after 25 years and after 8 years you are making $120k. The stability is GREAT this department has never laid off, cut pay and pensions are solid. The big downfall is the starting pay is $37k a year, OUCH. I know a couple of the firefighters and they all work second jobs. I have family who own businesses who I can work for but I need to make an extra $2k a month to cover my bills, on top of the new salary. $2k a month as a second job to me seems like no easy feat. I would be starting in the next 8-12 months and I am having a hard time making a decision on this.
Do I take the pension, struggle for a few years and I can actually RETIRE in 25-30 years. Or do I stick with my sales job making $120k+, pray I have a job in 25-30 years and keep saving my 401k / ira / stocks etc. Oh and a bit of info on my current saving habits, I save $18k in 401k, $5500 in IRA and I also do about $3000 per year in stocks for fun. My wife also does the same savings plan.
So big question, in 30 years, which will be the better choice? Pension or 401k? | Do I choose a lower paying job with a pension, or a higher paying job and take a risk at 401k/traditional investing? |
t3_3sx75h | dating_advice | Women - What do you generally look for in an online dating profile, photos or first message? | So i've [22/M] just started online dating. Never had a girlfriend, still a virgin and rubbish when it comes to confidence talking to women... I've tried picking up girls in clubs but i have trouble hearing in loud environments from spending 3 years DJing during university so it just gets awkward when i have to ask them to repeat themselves so many times and to be honest I'm not really interested in a one night stand anyway.
I've been using POF for about 2 weeks now and have put up what i think are my best photos a decent profile description but don't get any responses to the messages i send, and i only seem to receive messages from girls whom i don't find particularly attractive (in terms of both looks and personality). I try to be imaginative and find common interests etc but none of that seems to be working... perhaps i'm being too nice, which comes across as boring? i don't know... | So basically i want to find out what process younger (18-24 y/o) women go through when receiving a message when they decide if they respond or not? |
t3_2gkpgs | relationships | Me [33M] with my wife [25F] duration 4 years, she wants to quit her job and stay home | My wife gave birth to our son a little over 6 months ago. She had 6 months of paid maternity leave and just went back to work a few weeks ago.
Before we had him we discussed that we would be a two-income family. When I was young, my mom stayed at home with me and my brother, and when my dad lost his job we had to go on food stamps. I want better for my family and I think it's safer financially to always have both parents working.
My wife approached me yesterday after work with tears in her eyes and she said she can't do it. She can't keep going to work and leaving our son in daycare. She said she misses him too much and she wants to quit her job and stay home with him.
I told her to give it a few weeks and she reluctantly agreed, but I have a feeling she is not going to let this go. I want to do right by my wife and son, but I also really am not comfortable being the sole breadwinner. I like our financial situation now. Our savings are healthy, we are able to buy everything we need and most things we want, we don't have to stress about medical bills or other unexpected expenses. I think my wife sees all that and thinks, "Why work if we are so comfortable?" without realizing that we are financial comfortable BECAUSE she works. If she left her job we would have to make a lot more sacrifices, and I just don't want the pressure of all of our finances being on my shoulders.
Am I wrong here? How should we handle this? I know we need to communicate and another conversation is in order but I was hoping to gain some perspective before we have that next conversation in a few weeks. | Wife wants to quit her job to stay home with our son, I don't want to lose her income or be the sole breadwinner. |
t3_j6pwt | AskReddit | How to deal with lower back problems / herniated discs? | My girlfriend has been suffering from lower back pain on and off for the past few years. Over the past week the pain has been unbearable. She has a herniated disc right on her tailbone and it kills when she sits and now hurts her even to walk. The doctor said surgery would fix it, but she can't afford it and she wouldn't be able to take off the 4 months that is required (she'd lose her job).
She's had epidurals which have helped, but the most recent one didn't do anything. Does anyone have any tips for what she can do to at least help with the pain? Motrin, Aleve, and Advil do minimal to help and she's tried some Yoga exercised (one called Up dog I believe) but that didn't do anything. Thanks in advance! | Girlfriend has a herniated disc in her tailbone that is causing her to be in so much pain. Anything she can do to help ease the pain a bit? |
t3_tb73p | relationships | Extreme, irrational jealousy over past sexual partners. I need advice, guys and gals. | My girlfriend is great. She's 19, I'm 22, we've been dating for about a year now. We get along wonderfully and live together, and very rarely have any disagreements. We have known and been into each other since high school (6-7 years ago), but never made the move until before my final year of college when I moved back to my home town.
In that time, she had a few sexual partners, as did I. I learned about these through natural conversation, and each new realization was like a bullet in the chest. But I usually got over it and realized "well, who cares, she's with me now".
But the feelings keep coming back, and they're causing serious jealousy issues for me. Just this morning, we were going to "be intimate", and for no apparent reason I had a vivid mental image of her with one of these previous guys. I couldn't get back into it and had to stop and tell her I just realized I was running late for work.
This only seems to happen every now and then, but it gets worse every time and all this morning I've had a twisted stomach and felt like crying. I just can't seem to figure out how to make myself okay with the fact that she's mine now (and our relationship is otherwise great), and that those previous relationships don't matter. She even cut off contact (for the most part) with the guys that weren't still genuine friends. This was just for my sake because she knew I was having issues, and without me even asking.
So, what can I do? Bringing up the topic feels a bit out of the question at this point. We've discussed it before, I've apologized and told her I feel bad that these irrational thoughts are causing trouble for us. At this point, I feel like it's an internal battle. I just wish I could be like all of my friends and just *not care*. | Girlfriend has had several previous sexual partners, and I get vivid images sometimes when we have sex. Totally ruins it, of course, and I don't know what to do to make this go away. |
t3_3xrdjs | relationships | Me [21 M/F] with my ex[19 M/F] of 2 1/2 years. Relapse depression. | It's been a year and a half since the break up, this girl was my first and the best thing that has ever happened to me. The distance and the fact that I wasn't going to college tore us apart, I asked her to be patient and to wait for me (financially). But she gave up on me. Now she is dating a 28 year old who is a sherrif and has life "figured out", but not really.
I had an amazing year financially speaking and built a great foundation for my future. Money is pouring in, therefore I want to secure my future. I accepted the fact that I filled the void within me by focusing on money, but it just isn't doing it for me anymore. What's the point of eventually having it all, except for the love of your live.
I gone on dates with beautiful women and many of them were I guess you could say "perfect" acording to my friends, but I just don't feel anything. Is this why people turn to sex, drugs and materialistic things for temporary happiness. | lost the love of my life, all due to bad timing. Lost all hope in love. Can I ever forget about her? Erase her out of my life like she never existed? Have any of you done it? |
t3_54rjd1 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my manipulative Mom [50s F] How do I stop the lying and manipulating without destroying the relationship? | Hi, I posted yesterday about this similar incident but included a legal aspect that got the post deleted, so I'm going for different advice this time, thanks to everyone who commented yesterday!
To start things off, I'm fairly certain my mother is a psychological manipulator, meaning that even if I show her that she's manipulating, she'll deny it and keep pushing what she wants, despite the lack of respect she shows through her manipulation.
I know for a fact she is trying to paint my mother in law in a negative light. For example, she came to my house last week, watched my son for a bit while my mother in law ran an errand and was unable to bring my son [2]. After the fact my mother told me that, without engaging first, my mother in law started complaining about us and the length of time the renovations in the back house are taking. After asking my mother in law about it I was informed my mother started complaining about her own renovations first. So clearly the whole conversation was a trap.
The list goes on, she purposely got me alone at her house to ask me about putting her as an emergency contact at my son's daycare. She knows it's easier to manipulate me if I'm alone. She puts pressure like a salesmen looking to "close the deal."
She's also an emotional manipulator, if she tries to push for something regarding my sons care or anything else, she'll use my attachment to her and the fact I love her and care about her against me. It's actually very hurtful. Just recently (mentioned in the previous post) I went over to try to work something out with my mom and her husband regarding my son. When it seemed like she wasn't going to get her way, she got aggressive, yelling at me, while crying simultaneously. Then had what appeared to be a mental breakdown. She began screaming and yelling to her husband that she's "lost them all" and punching the couch, crying hysterically. I was pressured into hugging her and calming her down, at which point she made me promise I wouldn't let my wife take my son away.
How am I supposed to deal with this type of manipulation without completely destroying the relationship? | Manipulative mother uses my emotions for her against me, tries to paint other people in a negative light. How can I stop it without destroying the relationship? |
t3_l3mv1 | AskReddit | Most badass moment from your childhood? Here is mine. | When I was a young boy in the early 90s, one of my mom's best friends had 2 teenage sons. The oldest one was my hero. He had all kinds of cool stuff, drove me places, called me his little buddy, and played all kinds of sports. Totally the shit. He gets picked to be on the Nickelodeon show "GUTS" (before it went global, if that matters), and I, being in kindergarten at the time, was blown out of the fucking water. My hero gets to go be on motherfucking NICKELODEON and I will get to watch him on TV and tell all the other pussies in my class about it. This, in addition to my Power Rangers nap-time towel, would surely make me the biggest badass in the world.
He goes on the show, wins every competition, and in the end DESTROYS everyone else in the race up the Agro Crag. I had to wait a month later to watch it on TV, but he had the trophy at his house and I got to be in its presence. If that weren't enough, he took one of the Nerf balls from one of the competitions, got Mike O'malley to sign it, and fucking gave it to me. Not even the best part.
I hadn't told any of those losers in kindergarten about my wicked awesome friends success on the show. They had all forgot he was even going to be on it. Show and tell day comes, I made special arrangements to go first. I walk in with the motherfucking piece of the motherfucking AGRO CRAG and everyone loses their shit. It was incredible, and one of like 4 memories I have from Kindergarten. | In kindergarten, my teenage friend wins GUTS and I brought in the piece of the Agro Crag to show and tell. |
t3_i9zca | AskReddit | reddit I need help fixing a laptop | friend of mine came to me saying his laptop won't charge.
upon inspection I discovered he had broken the port which prevented the cable from making a connection.
I made him no promises but I told him I could try and replace the port and see if that will work.
I got the part online I took the comp apart installed the port and at first it seemed to work since I noticed the charge light in the front of the laptop turned on when I plugged it in.
but then the heart breaker happened. it won't turn on.
he said he had drained the laptop all the way down I mean from the way he explained it, they ran the battery into the ground.
I thought maybe it just needed an over night charge(I know it can run off the charger alone but I was clinging to hope) but no go.
took it apart again checked all the connections(power board/power switch to mobo and so forth.) no go, it's possible I maybe didn't get a good connection on the power switch, but before I take this laptop apart and reassamble to no avail, I was wonder if their were any other thoughts on why maybe the laptop won't turn on.
I had heard rumors that it's possible to fry laptops when letting your comp run off a low battery for a long time. I know that most computers have preventatives in place that will force it to turn off before it reaches the dangerously low voltage. but I didn't know if this was the case on this pc.
the laptop i'm working on is a sony vgn-ns240e. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated before I have to disassemble this thing again. | working on a sony VGN-ns240e, replaced power port, now it won't turn on even though battery charge light turns on. |
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