id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_32t3st | relationships | My [23/F] boyfriend [24/m] is too lazy to have sex with me? | Well, maybe lazy isn't the right word. Lazy sort of implies that he's a slob and out of shape, which is totally not true! We've been together for about 2 years, living together for about 6 months. He is absolutely the nicest, sweetest person I know! He's a little messy (not washing his dishes after using them, leaves clothes on the floor, etc.) but he happily cleans up if I ask him to. He's a dancer instructor, so he's in great shape and he eats pretty well.
He's also really great at romantic stuff. Cuddling on the couch watching movies, he reads to me, he'll even bring sometimes bring me home flowers randomly and send me cute texts about how pretty I am. Seriously cheezy rom-com sort of stuff. It's awesome.
Now the not awesome part. We very rarely have sex, and when we do I almost always initiate. We've talked about it in the past and yes he has a lower than average sex drive, but last night we were talking about it again and he said, "It just takes so much energy."
WTF? I'm at a loss for how to react to this. He is a very laid back person. Never seems to be stressed, always seems to put in the least amount of energy required. From what I've heard from his friends, his dancing is the same way (he does hip hop of some variety), super laid back. The thing is that I love this about him. I'm a super stressed, high energy sort of person and we balance each other out really well.
Like I said, I'm at a total loss! I don't know if this is my fault or his fault or even where to start! Should I confront him on this again? The conversation sort of ended (I had to be somewhere) soon after he said it. | Boyfriend of 2 years is amazing, but we don't have much sex. When talking about it last night he said that, "It just takes too much energy." |
t3_3udr2w | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 1 year, discussing future (school, marriage, kids) | Hi!
Long time lurker decided to create an account and enlist reddit's help. I (26M) was discussing the future (school, marriage, kids) with my girlfriend (24F) of 1 year.
Some background information: I graduated university 4 years ago and have a stable job, good income, and recently purchased my first home. She graduated university 1 year ago and has begun working but has realized her line of work requires additional schooling. She is starting nursing school (3 year program) in January but her dream has always been to do med school and become a doctor. I've been made aware of this several months after we started dating so this is no surprise.
I've been contemplating our future together and my personal goal has always been to marry and have kids by 30. With the gf going to nursing, then med school, residency, it would be another 7-8 years minimum before we would realistically have kids.
Last night, we finally had this talk and I let her know that I personally want to have settle down and have kids in the next 2-3 years. She understands but lets me know that med school has always been her dream and she wouldn't be able to shake the thoughts of "what if" if she doesn't even apply. However, she says that once she finishes nursing she might change her mind and decide that nursing is the career she wants to pursue.
My girlfriend and I having only been dating for 1 year and I don't know if she's marriage material yet.
Here's where I'm at:
1) If we continue dating and I come to realize that she is someone I want to marry..then these concerns of mine shouldn't be an issue?
2) I break up with her now since the time frame of my goals (marraige, kids) don't align with her dream of becoming a doctor. By the time we have kids, I'll be mid 30s and I prefer a smaller gap in age between me and my future kids. | I want to settle down and have kids by age 30 or so but my girlfriend wants to pursue med school after her nursing program (7+ years) |
t3_1bno05 | AskReddit | my friend is addicted to weed and is finding it really hard to quit what can i do to help him? | as the title says my mate is addicted and heavily at that.
He started smoking when he was 13 and i was 15 and eased off it when he was 14 1/2 but now he smokes almost every day. morning and night. (he's 16 now)
i have said to him he isn't allowed to smoke at mine anymore to help him cut down but after i said that he says he wont come chill anymore. Which really sucks because he is basically my only friend and without him i would slip into the spiral of depression again which is another story (he basically saved my life twice)
He is getting counselling and apparently he and his counselor have some sort of plan to help him quit (he wont tell me what it is which is really weird because he has told me everything our entire friendship which started when he was 6)
Just to give you guys an idea of how addicted he is 2 months ago he had no acne, his skin looked clean and so did he. Now he has acne (its not heavy but i wouldn't call it teenage acne either) and cant seem to even hang out with his friend of 10 years without having a bong. | friend of 10 years is heavily addicted to weed and cant even hang out with me without having a bong. Need advice to help him quit. |
t3_1nkxzh | Dogtraining | Found-On-Battlefield Rescue Ideas | My partner and I just rescued a 2.5 - 3.5 yo F.O.B. dog from Afghanistan (FOB means 'found on battlefield') - she LOOKS to be half afghan hound)
Essentially, these dogs are born wild, or stray, and if found by our troops (Canuck, I mean!) they are occasionally brought into the compound, trained and cleaned, and used as companions for soldiers.
Long story short, this lovely girl (possibly half-Afghan hound, but not sure) found her way to Canada, only a few hours away from me. Everything matched up, and we brought her home last night.
Only problem AT ALL, that we've been told to expect, and have already experienced, is that she LETS YOU KNOW when there is another dog around. Sometimes she will bark at people, but not often. She get very loud, and very excited when she shes another dog of any kind, but we can't decide how to go about socializing her in a way that won't damage her accidentally. We have to keep in mind that she is from a completely different country, with VASTLY different views on animals (i.e.- using dogs to clear minefields!! ) and was born stray.
I want to get her comfortable around other dogs, to the point where she can at very least ignore them, or, ideally, actually want to play.
Other than this, she is completely amazing. She knows all her basic commands, sleeps in her kennel at night by choice, wants to snuggle with my cat (who does not approve) and is all in all incredibly behaved.
I am not struggling with this behaviour yet, and I understand why she reacts this way, but before I start any training whatsoever, I want to contemplate as many options as I can, to choose the right one for her.
Any thoughts? Ideas? Any other FOB rescuers out here? | Just rescued a battlefield dog from overseas with an amazing personality and temperment. Want to explore every option to help her adapt and quit going nutso over other dogs. |
t3_l3dst | AskReddit | Why do you think people choose to run away or ignore problems with other people until they snowball? | I've been a shy person all my life, opting not to participate in friendly conversations with others and at times ignoring calls or confrontation when I'm worried someone might be angry at me or I might be uncomfortable. I've mostly gotten away with the latter because nobody's ever really called me out on it.
I've had some interesting experiences over the past year or so that have caused me to question whether or not this is a mean thing to do and as a result I've made an effort to be more assertive and open with others about problems, or at the least not to ignore them and to deal with the issue. Maybe I've just been growing up.
But because of this, I've come to notice that a lot of people are like I used to be - they run away from conflict or flat out ignore calls and texts from people that they might have upset or they sabotage themselves because they're too afraid to deal with the actual problem, creating a different problem that they *can* handle - namely, one they can safely run away from. The nature of the relationships don't even seem to really affect their choices, either - whether it's close friends or ex-co-workers that they'll never see again.
This is extremely frustrating, since the only way I can really interpret it, is that whoever is doing the avoiding or ignoring or running is being selfish and inconsiderate, failing to take into account the other person is a human being that (perhaps?) deserves more than that. I think this is what they think because this is how I used to think.
What's your take on this? I know some people don't really mind doing this if it's a stranger and some argue since we all have so many friends or whatever else otherwise it's not a big deal, but when I think of the way I want to be treated, it'd be nice if people weren't so cowardly or self-interested and instead of hiding simply grew some metaphorical balls and dealt with their problems. | Why are so many people afraid of conflict and use an inconsiderate method of ignoring people until the situation only gets worse? |
t3_g8lmy | AskReddit | DC Security Deposit Issue - Small Claims Suit? | My roommates and I rented a place in DC up until January 30 (lease end date). The landlord got back to us 46 days later saying that 1. He is deducting $1255 from our $3000 ($2500 + $500 pet) deposit for painting, cleaning, lightbulb replacement, and pet damage; and 2. The checks are in the mail.
Now, first, in DC its my reading of the law that not only did he take too long to respond to us (and did it via email), but he did not follow correct procedure in his itemization of claims - namely, that he can either itemize the claims for us to respond, or send the full amount of the deposit back to us within that 45 day period. He itemized the claims and basically said, here's your check; have a nice day.
I'm wondering if our only method of getting the deposit back is to file a small claims suit on the grounds that he did not follow correct procedures, and that the amounts he claimed for the "damages" are excessive, and not warranted because those items are simply general wear and tear. The floors, it should be noted, were acknowledged (have emails to back this up) to be damaged (scratches and delamination) on move in and move-out. We stated explicitly that the floors were damaged, as he knew, and that no change to their condition would be found on our moving out.
Our only problem is that I only have emails to back up my claims. I don't have any photos of the place, although he said he took video of the place on our moving out. Would we need to prove the condition of the apartment at move-in beyond the emails stating our inspection findings (damaged floors and some other minor issues)? Do we have a case here? | landlord says we destroyed apartment, takes half of the security deposit for painting and pet damage which have emails showing there was damage when we moved in. What can I do? |
t3_eaike | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm building my own house. What awesome features should I include, and what should I avoid? | I already have the plot so I know that the house will be two stories, about four bedrooms with a smallish garden. It is in south-east England so the climate is mild - fairly hot summers and fairly cold winters.
I know already that I want it to be upside-down (living area on top, bedrooms at the bottom) and fairly open plan. Beyond that I'm really open to ideas, but I want it to be special.
I'd really like some help with ideas... have any of you done this before and got any good tips? What have you done or seen that's been a big success? What have you seen that seemed like a good idea initially but turned out to be not so great?
For example... triple glazing? Solar panels? Wet room over a normal shower? Steam room - is that even possible, or practical? Jacuzzi on the balcony? Underfloor heating?
Are there any good tips from other countries that people don't do in the UK but should? Like I heard of "central vacuum" for the first time the other day... | For the first and probably only time in my life I have a blank sheet to start designing my own house. Please share your ideas and experiences.... |
t3_q27n4 | AskReddit | Ok, what's your best or worst flight experience? | Ok, so I was about 5 years old and I was flying from Orlando back home to Sacramento after a week long vacation with my older sister and my dad. I had only flown once or twice before in my life, but I really didn't have an issue with it, I actually love flying. But, midway through the flight, my stomach starts to hurt and I'm not feeling good. My dad took me to the bathroom and I did my thing. It continued though, and I couldn't control it anymore. I starting throwing up all over the place and I was shitting my pants as well. Given that I was flying with my dad, he didn't prepare a carry-on for me and so I had NO clothes to wear after the pants shitting. The stewardesses were awesome and took care of me, and the crap all over the place. From what I remember, the other people flying seemed fairly understanding of the situation as well. I still have that blue Delta Airlines blanket the stewardesses gave me, an entire 13 years later! | I was 5 years old, flying from Orlando to Sacramento. I was shitting my pants and throwing up everywhere. Everyone was really awesome about it, but the flight was the worst 5 hours of my life. |
t3_d9rdf | AskReddit | Reddit, I can't find work. At what point do I say screw it? | I graduated this past May with a double major in Business (Concentration in Marketing) and Journalism (Concentration in Advertising). I figured, with double major, that should help me get a job, right? No? Well those internships I worked and good experience I got should, right? There's somebody with better experience? Damn.
I'm starting to think about going to grad school to get an MBA in Marketing (it really seems like most marketing-related jobs nowadays require an MBA) but I've heard that it's frowned upon to do so without experience within the industry.. along with the fact that it might still come down to experience all over again. | graduated with with good degree(s), have pretty good experience, but can't find work within the industry. At what point do I just go get an MBA? |
t3_28yf6p | relationship_advice | [22/M] Looking for a relationship but I also want to be close friends (but not looking for a relationship in current friends) | I recently graduated college and am about to start the "real world" (aka working full time) in a few weeks. I haven't been dating anyone for the past couple of years and I am really uneasy about being able to find anyone that I can date after I start working. All of the people that I have dated in the past were ~~people~~ friends that I had lots of class with, creating something in common and a goal to work towards. But as the years passed, it became harder and harder to find girls in my coursework (I am an engineer and the gender ratios are generally ~15:1).
I really want to be able to find someone that I have a common goal with and am able to share projects with. I like problem solving and doing things together with others, whether it be a non-technical problem such as painting the fence or a technical problem such as writing computer code.
On top of that, I feel that I need to be close friends with this person. I want to know her friends and I want to be able to go on group outings with them. I can't fathom hooking up with some random person on some app or at the club with the only intention of being lovers because she is physically attractive (it also doesn't help that I am really short - 5').
What should I do to find more friends with common goals after college? I have been stuck in a rut ever since the ratios started making it hard for me to find compatible people. I have tried a lot of things in school to help me remedy that problem such as volunteering or joining clubs but it just felt fake in the end and nothing really happens after the activity ends. | I want to find a friend with common goals that I can date. Advice? Thanks /r/relationship_advice! |
t3_1fnrju | relationships | My SO (19f) and I (20m) are having trouble | * | I (20m) feel like girlfriend (19) isnt putting enough effort into nearly *two-year* relationship, how can we sort it all out? |
t3_2f22vs | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of 2 years, I want him to start working out again, but don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings (he is not fat). | When we started dating, my boyfriend used to be really buff. He worked out regularly, almost every day. He had huge biceps and I loved it.
Over the two years we have been together, he recently stopped working out, even though he is now working a job that has less hours than when we first met (i.e. he has way more free time now). His body has changed drastically - he's losing weight because he left muscle...he is not fat or anything.
I'm still insanely attracted to him, and love him thousands of times more than I did 2 years ago. However, I do miss his old, buff build. There was also just something really sexy about the fact that he was so committed and hard working at the gym. He would never miss a day at the gym, he would even cancel plans with friends if it meant missing the gym sometimes. He says he will start working out soon, but he's been saying that for months and he puts it off.
Like I said earlier, I love him and will love him no matter what his body looks like. I just miss his big strong arms and how he used to feel when he was a bit bulkier. How can I tell him this without hurting his ego?
Working out together is not an option because we don't live close by to each other, so logistically it wouldn't work out. | Boyfriend used to be SUPER buff when we met, stopped working out, is skinny now. I still LOVE HIM TO PIECES, but miss how he used to be. How can I encourage him to start working out again? |
t3_xcs6v | relationship_advice | [21m] what the hell is going on? | I've worked with this girl for 6 months and we really hit it off. We would hang out alot outside of work text nearly everyday. We were always a little flirty with each other and I think we both knew that we liked each other but we never acknowledged it. Two nights ago though she came over after work we had a few drinks and I just sort've blurted out "you know I like you" she said she liked me too and the next thing I know we're making out and we continued making out for a good 2 hours until she said she really needed to leave so i walked her to her car and asked if I could see her the next day she said yes we kissed goodbye. The next day I text her to say hey at around 5 and she doesnt respond so at 8 I just asked if evrything was alright still no reply. I was confused but i wasnt about to send a triple text so i just tried to go to sleep at 3 am i get a text saying she was sorry she didnt show up, she needed to think. So when i woke up I asked if I could see her and that I really wanted to talk to her. 4 hours later she tells me she's really busy but maybe at some point. I dont know what the hell is going on now I feel like a creep for feeling as upset as I do and even posting this on reddit but I'm really just hoping that theres someone who has been in the same type of situation that can give me some insight and hopefully tell me I've got nothing to worry about. | hung out with girl for a while as friends,finally got physical,then she got distant,confused as all hell |
t3_1pvvwp | relationships | I (19m) don't like the way my SO dresses (19f) | I love my so dearly and respect her a lot, but I really dislike the way she dresses. For the most part, she wears super tight and bright leggings by themselves that really show off her "stuff" which seems really inappropriate. Also likes wearing incredibly short shorts and skirts which I'm not really a fan of. I don't know how to bring this up and if I should at all, or just suck it up. She would probably tell me she doesn't want anyone to tell her how she should dress or take it harshly and be offended, so I'm kind of at an impasse. Any suggestions appreciated. | girlfriend wears clothing that I do not really think are appropriate for a relationship girl. Don't know if I'm exaggerating. |
t3_37u3e8 | relationships | Friend [20M] keeps sending me [23F] weirdly personal pics of his GF. What gives?? | Have a pretty good friend who I chat to quite frequently. He's very nice, and I like talking to him.
Except for one thing.
He will frequently start a conversation by sending me pictures of his girlfriend. Not vacation snaps, or a nice outfit or dinner, but just her hanging around in pajamas. Or lying on their bed. Or her washing dishes or studying. Got a few of them cuddling that had clearly been taken at another time. And some of rumpled sheets. :/
I always say something polite (e.g. 'haha cute'), and when I can see their underwear/personal belongings in the pic I'll casually say 'Are you sure GF would be cool with you sharing this? Can see all your junk in the background.' He always insists she is.
Is this normal amongst friends? I've never had anyone do this before. I just feel a bit uncomfortable, as I have never met his GF, and I know I wouldn't want pictures of my personal moments being sent to strangers.
Possible reasons that I thought he might be doing this:
1. He REALLY REALLY loves his GF and just wants to share all the time.
2. He's still pretty young so maybe he wants to show off that he has a GF?
3. He wants to establish clear boundaries between us as just friends. I doubt it's this, as if anything he likes me more than I like him. He almost always contacts me first.
Idk, r/relationships what do you think? And should I ask him to stop or just keep casually brushing it off? | friend often sends me unnecessary personal pics of his GF whom I don't know. Why is he doing this? Should I tell him to stop? |
t3_1ieuwo | relationships | If I [21M] leave a note on a girls car is that too creepy? | Ok, so here is the situation. I intern for a company in a rented office building in an area with a bunch of other companies in separate buildings. One day when I was leaving for lunch I saw this beautiful girl walking out of the building next to ours. I assume she was going to lunch also. We made eye contact and then she got in her car and left. This was a couple weeks ago.
Ever since then I cannot stop thinking about her. Whenever I enter or leave the building I look for her to be doing the same, but sadly no luck. So I was thinking about how I can talk to her and get to know her, and I came up with the idea to put a note on her car after work one day and hope she calls me back.
Is that too creepy? What exactly should I put on the note? Should I do it on a Friday to give her time to think about it and maybe avoid an awkward encounter if I happen to see her before she responds?
All I know about her is that she is beautiful and I assume she is an intern at whatever company she works at as I have only seen her car there this summer (I work year round for 2 years now and have not seen it before). Here is what I was thinking about putting on the note:
Hi! My name is LiverpoolFTW. I work in the building next to you and I saw you leaving one day and thought you looked beautiful. I would love to buy you a drink or take you to lunch one day. Here is my number [867-5309]. I hope to here from you soon!
What do you think? Should I put my full name so she can look me up on Facebook so she knows I am not a creepy weirdo? | Saw a girl one day at office buildings and what to leave a note on her car asking her out. Is this ok? |
t3_um37o | AskReddit | My landlord is turning my complex into the slums; can I hold them accountable? | When my fiancee and I moved to our current apartment, it was a gorgeous complex, in a nice and growing part of town. We got a great deal by signing during the slow season, and spent the first year happy as clams.
Now, we're 5 months into our second year, and the place is diving headfirst into the ghetto. The company owning the properties switched hands around the end of our first lease, and things have gotten consistently worse since then. They've stopped doing credit and background checks, and our once family-friendly complex is now a haven for dealers, welfare moms, and spousal abuse.
This morning I spent 20 minutes picking up my neighbors' beer cans because the lawn crew refused to mow until all the trash was gone. The hoarders at the end of my building broke their patio doors out so that they could park their mopeds in their living room. Even worse, we've had several near-accidents from drunk drivers careening around unattended children.
I've had to fight landlords in court before, so I'm somewhat familiar with rental law. I'm positive that there is a legal requirement for a company to maintain their properties, but I can't find anything that states this. I feel like I shouldn't be required to pay upper-middle-class rent for a complex that has turned into the unemployment block. Do I have any legal recourse in this matter, or do I need to just stick it out until December and move elsewhere? | I'm paying a small fortune for what used to be a nice apartment, and now I'm surrounded by drug dealers and hoarders. Do I have a legal defense to lower my rent or have the place cleaned up? |
t3_4qggea | relationships | Me [23F] with my bf [23M] of 5 years, my anxiety disorder is ruining his life | Coming from an abusive household, I've always had issues with depression, anxiety, and anger. I went to counseling and have been doing a lot better, and every day I have to remind myself not to lash out or yell about something. I'm mostly fine but I still have moment where I get unreasonably angry or annoyed.
There are a few things I get upset about. I don't like to have the radio on in the car. I don't like my bf to see my without makeup on. I have a need for control in a lot of things and my sweet bf has always been very accommodating of my needs, which makes me feel calmer.
However, over time he's also grown anxious. He gets nervous in interactions with cashiers, and he acts strange in public places, sometimes even runs away when I talk to someone in a store. Last night during an argument about him job-hunting he said, "When did I get so anxious? I wasn't always like this."
I'm certain that my disorders have rubbed off on him. I feel awful, because I've been emotionally abusive and though I've come a long way, I feel as though I've ruined his life. Sometimes I ask him why he bothers with me, and I tell him I wouldn't blame him if he left or resented me for the way I am. He says that I haven't ruined anything but it's clear that being in a relationship with me is making him a different person.
He refuses to attend therapy - I should mention that. He buys into the stigma around it and says he's fine. | I feel like I've ruined the happy, carefree person my boyfriend used to be with my anxiety and depression. Don't know what to do short of ending things for his own good. |
t3_2bd10o | relationships | Me 25F feeling a little down in the dumps because I haven't met anyone I'm attracted to in a while | I haven't been in a relationship in a long while, my last relationship was a Nicholas Sparks type romance that was really romantic but ultimately didn't last and it was a really heartbreaking time. I immediately cut contact and "worked on myself" for a long time.
That took a few months, and since then I've been dating again. I've been in a bit of a real slump lately in that I've gone out with a bunch of people that I ended up not clicking with at all, and it's really frustrating when you really do want to meet someone you feel is really right for you (and I know what that's like, I've felt it a few times before).
I've felt like this previously when being single, and whenever I'm in a stable relationship I want to go back in time and beat myself up and say "get over yourself and stop being so dramatic, you are going to end up just fine." But it's hard to get that motivation when you go on a string of bad dates and you feel like no really awesome amazing guys are going to be into you. I just have been out on a series of dates with real losers, jerks, and people who didn't end up being compatible with me at all. Sometimes I meet people I'm downright not attracted to, and other times I go out with people I really want to continue dating but they aren't feeling it.
What do you do to remind yourself that there is another prince charming out there who is a sensible down to earth person that wants to chill with you and is super awesome? I'm starting to lose hope, and I want to remind myself that I'm worth it and that it's going to be okay in the end! | I haven't met anyone I feel a romantic connection with in a really long time and I'm starting to feel kind of hopeless. Advice for when you start to feel this way? |
t3_3lvj90 | askwomenadvice | Ladies,kinda confused if I did things right in my situation, would also like some advice what to do and not do. | Girl who I like and know extremely well was standing and waiting for the bus. I did not expect to see her there, but I walked up to her and I noticed she was wearing nice clothes (tank top thing for work and jeans) some accessories (necklace),and had makeup on. She looked pretty /gorgeous and I was stunned at how nice she looked. Yea ill admit it, she looked amazing. =)
Since I know her well and remembered that she had work, I just said to her your look nice for work!, She said o, thanks. We started to talk about more personal things that were going on in our lives and then some other stuff to catch up quickly. I had to rush a bit as did she and it sucked as I wanted to talk to her more. I then said you look great for work again (stupid me) and, have a good day! She smiled again and I gave her a friendly shove on her arm. We parted ways after and as said, I hated it as we couldn't talk more. She has a very hectic schedule and we are finding a time to meet again.
Personally, She looked pretty/amazing and it felt good just to talk to her and not feel like an idiot or like I could not do it.
*Was my compliment good or just odd? Should I have said something different?
*Was it appropriate to friendly touch her? She seems fine with it and does not look uncomfortable about it. I would never go too far with touching her , just a friendly shove or tap , I wish I could do something to maybe flirt with her, or know if I should touch her differently? hug possibly?
*Overall, did I mess this one up? | Feel like I messed it up talking to a girl that looked gorgeous , want to see her again, but just need some advice/thoughts also. |
t3_15irn5 | relationships | 7 Year Relationship 28m 27f: How Do I Respond to Constant Pestering of "When are you getting married?" | I (29) been with my GF (28) for 7 years and I'm shopping for a ring right now. I want to keep the proposal a big surprise but I have to fend off "When are you getting married?" from others ESPECIALLY family
Since it's the Holidays I've we've been making the rounds at family gatherings. The constant pestering question is "When are you getting married?" I try to stay upbeat and joke "Tomorrow! I'm sending out invitations tonight, check your email!"
Some get the message and some continue to lecture me. "You know she will leave you if you don't ask her to marry you" I take offense to that and it slowly boils my blood. I stay quiet and nod to avoid lashing out or saying a smart condescending remark. I guess some people just don't understand that a proposal is supposed to be a surprise.
Is there a better way to respond or just bite my tongue? I think since they're family they feel entitled to know if I have considered her "the one." I'm not saying anything because we all know how fast "secrets" travel through family circles. | Relationship of 7 years, looking for a ring now, how do I respond to constant pestering of "When are you getting married?" |
t3_zawym | relationships | now ex-gf (20) told me (m27) that she wasn't in love with me "all the time." This was the reason for our breakup. Valid? | We were together for about 6 months. I'm pretty sure she's bipolar. She would sometimes be very affectionate to me and tell me how much she loved me, leave me mushy voice mails and texts etc, and then sometimes she would have emotional breakdowns and start crying while telling me she wasn't sure if she was in love with me. This ended up being what caused the end of our relationship.
The thing is--is anyone in love with their SO "all the time?" Especially at age 20? I know that I went back and forth on whether I was deeply in love with her. I even was afraid I'd have to break up with her a few times when I felt like there was more out there. But I didn't.
I felt like we could have worked on what we had. 6 months isn't a long time, and I didn't think that only being in love "sometimes" (she said like in the movie The Prestige, lol) was a big enough reason to end things. She's gone now and I really miss her. I'm doing NC and it's only been a few weeks but it really hurts. I can't stop hoping I'll hear from her soon and she'll change her mind. | Gf told me she's only in love with me sometimes, like in the movie the prestige, and broke up with me. I think it's kind of silly, isn't that usually how it goes? |
t3_n0r9s | relationships | Why does my ex contact me? | I'm 27 and she is 24. I broke up with her in February and we have never completely stopped talking to one another.
She's had a boyfriend for at least four months now and she and I even tried getting back with one another while she was dating him but she couldn't do it.
I **have** accepted that and **have** moved on but she will still text me now and then to catch up. She did so on Halloween, Thanksgiving and before and after my birthday (just last week).
Her current boyfriend forgave her once for talking to me but I am confused as to: A. why, generally speaking, she stays in contact with me B. why she would risk her current relationship again and C. if I should even be responding (it would be hard not to). | Me (27, m) broke up with girlfriend (24) in February. She has a boyfriend now but am confused as to why she still contacts me. |
t3_25w6t9 | offmychest | I don't want to go to college anymore. | Since I was a little kid, my parents have always told me "You will go to college and get a degree, blah, blah, blah." I always took that as the only option I had to me when I graduated from high school. I graduated in 2011, and have been at my local community college since then, and am set to be done with my AA in the fall. I've fucked up a fair bit in college, and my GPA isn't stellar, but because of the DTA (Direct Transfer Agreement) in my state, I'm guaranteed to be accepted to any state school so long as my GPA meets the bare minimum requirements. But I don't want to go to a four year university anymore.
My parents are kind enough to pay my tuition and put me through school, and I say that I've got a plan, which was to major in Business Administration, but I really don't have one. My friends are all in trade jobs, and seem to be happy with their lives. As I look into trade jobs more and more, they become more intriguing each time. I'd love to be a carpenter and build old style wood boats like Chris Crafts, or a welder working on cool buildings and shit. All of these trade jobs can pay very well if you apply yourself.
I'm burnt out on sitting in class, working at my minimum wage restaurant job, and just floating through life. I'm only 20 at the moment, so I know that I've got my whole life in front of me, but I feel like my future is being controlled by my parents. I know that they want the best for me, but at the same time, it is my life. I think part of the reason I don't want to go to a four-year is because I've struggled with college at the JC level, I don't want to have the same problem at a four-year, where it's costing my parents $20,000+ per year. I'm feeling extremely stuck in life right now, and while I try to be a happy person, it is taking a relative toll on me. | I don't want to go to a four-year university, and a career in a trade sounds much more appealing to me, but I feel like I'm stuck due to parental pressure. |
t3_rjzo2 | AskReddit | My phone internally melted and Verizon said its not covered by the manufacturer warranty and would cost 300$ for them to fix it. Can they do this? | So yesterday I smelled something like burning plastic as I was watching TV so I pulled out my phone to find it was coming from my Droid 3. So I slid out the keyboard to find a piece of metal from the phone melted onto my keyboard. There was also a piece of electric ribbon hanging out. I took out the battery and left it open for evidence of the melting but my friend closed the phone by accident so all the pieces retreated back into the phone. I took it in today and they said this wasn't covered by the manufacturer warranty unless I wanted to pay 300$ and that I could file an insurance claim for 90$. I think this is absolutely stupid and they should replace it because it's no fault of mine. The phone internally melted. I left the store without giving them anything. I was thinking of calling Motorola or Verizon HQ. I got this phone at the end of November. No cracked screen or anything. Is there anything I can do in this situation? | Phone internally melted and they say its not covered by manufacturers warranty unless I want to pay 300$ or 90$ insurance claim. What can I do? |
t3_1z8gru | relationship_advice | I [22m] isn't sure how to make my relationship with my SO [23f] get back to a better place. | **Background:** I have been dating my SO for sometime now and a constant thing that I have been doing is doing various things to get her rather angry with me on several occasions.
Things I have done are mostly being very obtuse and blatantly disregard what she says with various things. Like in a game we play she wanted me to mail myself an item to trade her on an island that is a pain to get to where instead I sent it to her when she was unable to open that part of her mail. Underlying point there is I didn't listen. another instance was she didn't want me to call her at a certain time, however, I did and it became a complication with her work, again, I didn't listen and I instigated a shared blame that has made her hate me.
**Currently:** She hates me and she has told me what she doesn't want me to say to her but I'm not sure what I can do, given the limitations on the things that she doesn't want me to say to her, to help get us back to a healthier place. | I don't listen, she hates me, I can't say what I want to her, I'm not sure what to do here. |
t3_wq63p | relationships | Roommate's boyfriend attacked mine | My roommate Mary (22f), and I (21f) have been living together for a few years. Recently she has started dating a guy (Nick, 27m). They were LDR and then he decided to move to our city. A few days of staying with us turned into a few weeks and then a month and a half. He has been nothing but a terrible housemate.
I habitually forget my keys. The other night I came home with my boyfriend and Nick had locked us out. I called him, and Mary, and after about 20 minutes Nick came downstairs to let me in. He immediately started yelling at my boyfriend to "check your bitch" and that I'm a terrible human being. My boyfriend (James) told him not to talk to me like that, and Nick pushed him. They wrestled, and Nick ran upstairs and called 911, saying "there is someone trying to break into my house".
The police come, and James and I explain. They scold Nick for calling the police unnecessarily, and ask us both if we want everyone arrested. We say it is not necessary.
I contact my landlord and let them know someone is illegally subletting and he is dangerous, and I want him out. They give him until Sunday at midnight.
Mary at this point starts telling me that I "fucked myself", and "if he goes I go", and demands her portion of the security deposit from me ($1000). I tell her she is welcome to leave but if she wants a security deposit, she will have to take it up with the landlord.
In the meantime, this douchebag who attacked my boyfriend is living in my home, with all my belongings. I don't trust him as he has already thrown away shoes, a coat, and bath supplies of mine. Mary is on the lease and claims she is moving out. I tell her that's fine but we need to find someone to take her place. She says she is going to take me to court, and steals our copy of the leAse and sends it to her attorney.
Aside from what I want to do (bear mace them both), what are my options here? | Roommate's boyfriend physically attacked my boyfriend and a number of legal, personal, and ethical problems ensure. In desperate need of advice. |
t3_39dxp1 | relationships | My [27F] boyfriend [27M] of 4 years is suddenly into dogfighting! Don't know what to do. | I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, have been living together for 2 years. I noticed him watching dog fighting videos from Russia over the past year and never wanted to see them. It started out as him saying he was curious to what amazing athletes the dogs were.
Eventually he joined a couple forums and actually purchased a dog! It's a very sweet but very dog aggressive 3 year old pit bull. The dog has scars on his legs and face... he said he wanted to "rescue" him but just tonight I over heard a phone call he was having talking about "matching" his dog! It's all so strange to me that this has happened so gradually and now he wants to fight his dog!
This is something I am very against! I tried to convince him how wrong this is. I told him it is animal abuse. I told him I will not be in a relationship with a dog fighter! What would make someone interested in this sort of thing?? Our relationship has seemed so "normal" as has he. He said that the dogs like to fight and that they would jump out of the fight area if they didn't want to fight. I disagreed and think they are trained to do this and it's wrong! | Boyfriend has changed. He wants to be a dog fighter and I can't and won't be OK with this! |
t3_xghjw | AskReddit | Cat owners, vets, and pet trainers: How can I deal with my friend's aggressive cat while I pet sit? | I'm watching my friend's cat this week and he has attacked my legs several times. He managed to latch onto my left calf pretty good a few days ago and now I have some bruising around the little teeth marks. He's never been friendly, but he wasn't so aggressive when I watched him before. There used to be two, both unfriendly and aggressive, especially with strangers. The other cat had kidney failure and was put down a few months ago. The remaining cat started to be more friendly now that his friend is gone, but had taken to biting as I walk around the house to feed him, clean the box, etc. Pretty sure he's fixed but not declawed. I know better than to be aggressive back and usually just clap loudly and/or say "no!" sternly, but this only works temporarily, and he'll bite again after a few minutes. Is there some way I can show him I'm in charge or teach him not to bite, or is this something I'll just have to deal with when I watch him? I'm not exactly a stranger as this is a good friend's cat. Know any tricks to get me through the week? So far I'm just wearing pants and hoping for the best, but it's a hot summer. Internet and other Reddit post searches have proved unhelpful. Please help! Happy to answer questions and give more details if necessary. I'm a work now, but will try to stick around. After 5 I'll be around more. Thanks! | My friend's cat is a biter and I want to know the best way to avoid bites while I watch him. |
t3_4lw2pm | dating_advice | Me [27F] with new guy [30M] had one date, is he not into me and just being nice? | Probably reading way too much into text messages, but I got really excited about this guy after our date and I usually don't get that way so soon. We matched on tinder which is already sort of a red flag, but whatever. We have a lot in common as far as background and interests (from the same small city), so I felt like there was a natural connection here. Plus we happen to know some people in common. We had a great date, well it was from my perspective. We made-out which maybe is a bit much for a first date, but the kiss was so great we kept going.
The date was on Friday and I texted him on Sunday to ask if he'd like to grab dinner this week. He didn't respond until today (48 hours later). He replied: "Hey, sorry for not responding sooner. Didn't mean anything by it. I think dinner would be cool. I have a couple baseball games just need to figure out when those are. Hope your weekend was good."
I responded back: "It's ok! I figured you lost your phone haha. Sounds good!"
Was my response funny or awkward sounding? I was sort of trying to make a joke out of it And is it a red flag that he took so long to respond and hasn't followed up with a time? He was also a little sketchy about making first date plans - telling me to pick the place and not being concrete about time, saying "7 or 8." Is he not into me and just keeping me around in case something else falls through? | First date was great, not sure if he's that interested, took him 2 days to get back to me. Help? |
t3_1gc7lk | relationships | My [28M] SO isn't yet sure if he wants kids, but I [26F] am very sure I do. | My SO and I have been together for 6 years now, and have had a very good relationship. We've had some rough patches that we have gotten through, and are now at a really good place. We both agree on topics of marriage and future life choices (when to buy a house, etc). However last night we were discussing the topic of children, and he said that he was very unsure he wanted any.
We have discussed it in the past, and he has always had a similar opinion - so this is no surprise. However he has always mentioned that when he 'got older' and 'more mature' he'd have a better idea.
I'm terrified that if I wait any longer for him to decide, and he eventually says 'no', that I will have wasted a lot of time on basically nothing - as this is very much a deal breaker for me (and he knows it). I'm also worried that he'll just choose to have a baby with me to 'make me happy', and end up resenting the kid.
If we were to have children, it still wouldn't be for a few more years (I'm thinking maybe when I hit 31 or so).
I'm really not interested in pressuring him one way or another, and I really do love him - but I don't know what to do.
My question is simple: Do most men at his age "know" whether or not they want to have children? Is our predicament uncommon or not?
Thanks. | SO might not want to have kids, I'm scared to wait and find out he doesn't when it'll be too late for me. |
t3_20wevi | offmychest | Today's a big day | I've got a final in a class I need to do well in to stay in school, and I feel okay about it, but I'm slightly nervous still. It's a big test that could have a significant impact on my life. In accounting no less. But I've prepared a good amount.
But I've been into this girl for a long long time. And with us getting closer to getting out of school, there's really not much more time to own up to what I'm thinking, so today, I'm going to tell her how I feel. She's someone I truly care about and I'm scared shitless of how she's going to react to it. If she says she doesn't feel the same way but no awkwardness persists after, I'll be happy enough, but I'm worried this will throw a wrench into our friendship. But at the same time, I know that if I don't ask, I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what if?
This is complicated by the fact that pretty much every single one of our mutual friends knows I'm into her and have told me that they're almost certain she feels the same way. That also hasn't kept them from all advising me every weekend. It accomplishes nothing, and each week, I find myself contemplating when the right time to ask is. I think that time is finally here. Anyways, I just needed to vent for a second, cause I'm slightly freaking out. | I've got probably the most important test in my life and I'm about to tell a girl I'm really into that I like her. So it's going to be a big day today. |
t3_2efpg8 | relationships | How do I get my guy [27] to tell me how he feels about me? | I've known this guy for close to two years, we've had some sort of relationship from we met (mostly long distance but visiting, travelling together etc.) and have been more properly "together" since christmas. He's staying with me now for two months over the summer, and mostly everything's going fine.
The problem is, he's not a very verbal person. He never tells me how he feels about me (or about stuff in general, really), which makes sense considering he's from a culture where words don't mean a lot, people say things they don't mean all the time. In essence, words don't mean much to him, and from what I've gathered (we've talked it over) it's also difficult for him to say things about feelings.
I'm kinda the opposite. I've grown up with the idea that if someone says something, we really mean it (like, over here when we say "how are you?" we expect someone to really tell us in a few sentences or more how they're doing. If we don't care, we don't ask), and so verbal displays of affection are less common but one can trust in them when someone does say something. To me, what someone says is the truth.
Actions can be nice, but to me I can't derive any particular meaning from them - there can be many different motivations behind any one action, and I don't want to try to interpret them into giving them meaning ("he does this because he feels x about me") because I think that makes it way too easy to misinterpret stuff - words are more concrete, more unambiguous, more direct.
Now, I'm fairly sure I'm in love with this person and I feel the need to know how he feels about me. How do I fix this? | I feel the need to know how he feels about me, he's not really a wordy kind of person. Words don't mean a lot to him and are difficult to say, they're very important to me. Help? |
t3_1j1y54 | relationships | My[17M] girlfriend [18F] of 9 months want to wait for sex until marriage. In fact, she seems to have an irrational fear. | I've been dating this girl for 9 months. She's great. I love her and want to marry her one day. Everything about her is perfect. Except her irrational fear of penises. There has never been any pressure from me for sex, but she's told me on several occasions that she doesn't want to do it until she's married, and I told her that was fine.
One time, though, she even told that she wasn't sure she wanted to have sex AFTER marriage. What. This being said, she still masturbates and loves a good makeout session.
*I don't feel like I need sex to be happy with her*. I already am. But I want to know if there's anyway I can... i don't know... want sex less? I don't want her to give up something she doesn't want to. But it's hard to imagine going the next five or six years without any sexual activity.
Is there anything I can do to work on this? Just to be clear, i'd rather change what I want than what she wants. | Girlfriend doesn't want any type of sexual activity before marriage, possibly even after. How do I make this matter less to me? How do I address this problem? |
t3_1gw0r8 | travel | When going to Pompeii, Italy, invest in a tour guide. Story inside. | I went on a cruise of the Mediterranean last summer on Norwegian Cruise Lines with my family (8 people total) and we visited Barcelona, Spain, Tulon, France, so many places in Italy I can't even count, two countries in Turkey (Ephasis and Istanbul maybe?) and Mikonos and Athens, Greece. Sorry if I spelled any of those incorrectly, 'Murica.
So in Italy, one of the places we stopped at was Naples. We decided just to take 6 of us, my older brother, my mom, my dad, my aunt, my uncle and me to Pompeii while my grandparents hung out on the boat.
We got there and decided not to invest money ($15 or 15 euros or something, relatively cheap.) in a tour guide through Pompeii. **WORST IDEA OF OUR LIFE**.
We ended up getting extremely lost in Pompeii for 2 hours until we found an exit on the opposite end we needed to be. My mom was getting really hot and was worried she may go into heat stroke (She's a nurse so I figure she knew what she was talking about) and we had drank all of our water. It was around 100 degrees F, almost 38 degrees C.
So here's some advice, if you're going to Pompeii or any place that you have a slight possibility of getting lost, invest in a tour guide. They'll give you information on a lot, your tour will probably be a whole lot more interesting and hopefully you will not get lost in Pompeii.
I loved Pompeii though, so definitely go there. Worth the hot, stuffy train ride and the tourists. It's a sweet place. | Invest in a tour guide in Pompeii, my family and I got lost for 2 hours while there when it was 100 F and 38ish C. |
t3_35gj7p | relationships | Bad luck with love. Girls like me [M24] but are never interested in me romantically. | I went out for drinks with a girl on Friday and was effectively rejected. She didn't state it plainly, but I took the hint. I have been hanging out with her since March, usually a couple times a week. We always had a really good time, and I interpreted her light touches and playful chiding as interested in me, which is upsetting because I only allowed myself to become emotionally invested because I thought she was genuinely interested in me romantically.
It's got me wondering, what's wrong with me? I had two proper girlfriends in high school. And while the first was crazy and an awful relationship, the second one and I cared about each other very deeply and only broke up because we moved away from each other. However, since then, I've had almost no luck with girls. A couple drunken hookups (regret), a couple short-term flings that were enjoyable but neither of us were serious about, and now this last girl.
I don't know why I can't make it work with any girl I meet. I'm a pretty put together guy. I have a great job and am good with money. Obviously this is subjective, but I think I dress pretty decently. I have hobbies and a lot topics I love discussing passionately. I'm pretty gregarious and make friends really easily, both casual friends and deeper more meaningful friendships. A lot of girls seem to sincerely enjoy being friends with me.
But I can never turn all these things that work out for me socially in so many ways into something that works out for me romantically. A part of me wonders if I'm just not attractive enough, especially now that my hair has started to thin, but when I'm honest with myself, I just don't think I'm so repulsive that it "makes sense" that I'd have gotten so little female attention over the last 5-6 years.
When I read advice for people in my situation, the advice is always get a hobby, get out of the house more, or to get into shape or whatever else, but I feel like I've done all of that. I don't know where to go from here. | Girls like me but they're never interested in me romantically. I feel pretty put together and don't know how to address this. I don't "need" a girlfriend, but I know I want a serious life partner eventually. |
t3_1om4t3 | personalfinance | I had a great victory today![Me Vs. Debt Collector] | Here's the back-story:
When I was 19 I needed an ambulance ride to the county hospital, I was told my medical bills would be covered since I was low-income. This wasn't the case for the ambulance ride ($1200 or so). At that time I was working at my university for close to $400 per month and was paying $100 a month to the ambulance and stopped paying since I figured it's medical and won't ever effect my credit. Boy was I wrong. Flash forward a few years and I'm regularly monitoring my credit score through Credit Karma and notice that my score dropped from a 720 to a 640. I pull my reports and what do you know, the medical bill appears out of nowhere. At the time, my main concern was paying this off so I wouldn't have to go to court if it came to that. I came up with a settlement and disputed the case with Transunion and Experian. Transunion deleted it, but Experian just updated it.
Today I called Experian and explained that that was the only negative thing on my credit report and I wanted to know what my options were to have it removed. They said they can remove it if I receive a letter from the debt collector stating that they approve that it be removed.
I called the debt collector, was as nice as humanly possible and explained my situation and asked for a letter. It was elevated to a supervisor who then explained that their law office didn't give letters like that and report the debt as-is.
At this point I got a bit frustrated because it would literally take them 5 minutes to save me 7 years of stress, and they refused to. I asked to speak with the "lawyer" and he actually worked out of an office in another state. I told them, "Okay, well you're an hour away from me, I'll just come up there myself, see you in two hours" and hung up.
5 minutes later, I get a call, and whatayaknow, the lady says they're going to write me a letter.
So for me, this is a great victory, I can have my credit score repaired to its wonderful status and won't have to worry! | Had old medical debt, caught up with me, settled and eventually got the letter to have it removed from report and saved myself 7 years of a bad credit score. |
t3_4oi2lf | relationships | Me [19M] with my work crush [20/F], would like advice about asking her out | So we both are in a chemistry lab together (Me 19M, soon 20 and she's 20F, soon to be 21), and we see each other every day. The lab environment is very relaxed and friendly, and everyone's like family.
I met her when I joined the lab, about 6 months ago, and I've always found her attractive, but we've never talked much. Probably because I'm shy, but we always smile at each other whenever we make eye contact, without fail (these might just be out of being polite though). I'm not that sure she's into me: we work in complete opposites of the room, we both don't really make it a point to talk to each other (I try to when I see she isn't all that busy), and soon she will be moved to a different room owned by our lab due to space issues.
I'm planning just to talk to her more and ask her out before the summer ends. How should I go about this situation without ruining the lab's great environment? I'll be a junior next semester and she'll be a senior, so there will be at least a year of awkwardness if things don't work out, but it might be longer due to her wanting to be a doctor.
Thanks for reading, all comments/advice are welcome | Crush on cute coworker in a chemistry lab, plan to ask her out but I don't want to accidentally ruin the great environment in lab by making things awkward. How should I go about this? |
t3_3tvzjx | askwomenadvice | Feelings for that woman, she is confusing to me. Need Advice please! | Hi.
So, i'm m(24) and i'm having a crush on her.
Who is she?
For me she is like a god sent gift. The last few years i dated a lot of women, had sex with them, but never had feelings for them.
First "Problem" is:
She is from Spain. I am from Germany. So we have that little issue with language. Most of the times we speak english. But we are both not perfect at that language ( you probably notice it, when you read that text )
Now, that i am having this feelings, i guess i am acting like a retard. It is because she is so confusing to me. One day she is like a buddy, one day she acts like we are together, the next day she hates me? I have to say, that we already had sex 2 times.
Please help me. Should i talk to her and say that i have feelings? Or Should i go out on a date with her?
She said, she would love to do some things, she can only do here in germany. Some "new stuff".
I thought about just picking her up and take her to some "german locations/things" and show her everything.
Maybe i'm just overreacting and she needs more time. The "whole thing" is 2 weeks old now. | Since a long time feelings for a woman. Know confused what to do. We already had sex. How to advance? |
t3_2tkcfw | personalfinance | How am I supposed to afford a car? | Hello everyone. I'm a 23 year old who lives at home with his parents. I currently work full-time and I make $9/hr at my job. My paychecks are around $500~ to $600~ depending on if I work all the hours I'm supposed to. Right now I don't own a car and must get rides to and from work everyday and it's a hassle. Getting a car has been a problem for quite some time now. Pretty much everyone in my intermediate family lives paycheck to paycheck, so there's no way I can get help from anyone really. I must purchase a car completely on my own. I can't get a loan, or honestly I haven't even tried because I know my credit isn't good because of things that were put in my name (like cable bills) before I was even old enough to have credit, and the only way I could clear that up is if I got my parents in legal trouble. So I can't get a loan and I have no one to help me buy a car. Thankfully I have few bills right now so I have some extra money from my paychecks. See, I could always just save money from my paychecks and *eventually* I would be able to afford a car, and it would most likely be a clunker. And the problem with that is that it would take too long anyways. The people who have been giving me rides everyday are starting to get tired of taking me. I can't wait months to get a ride. Getting advice from my parents is kind of pointless considering they obviously aren't very good with their money, either. I'm really not sure what to do. | I can't get a loan, I have no financial support, and I need a ride asap. What can I possibly do? |
t3_39zz1i | relationships | I'm [m/27] sabotaging my relationship with my gf [23] of a year and I'm not sure how to stop. | My gf and I have been together for about a year and the first 9 months were great. We hung out all the time and got along perfectly. She's practically moved in, though she maintains her own place as well. Over the last 3 months, though, it seems we're fighting constantly. And it's over the stupidest stuff: She seems distant, I get worried when she seems distant, she gets annoyed that I get worried, and it spirals downhill.
That's not the worst part, though. The problem is that I'm stuck in a weird spiral in my head. I work a full time job. She is a full time student in grad school and she works almost full-time in the evenings and weekends as a server. I hardly ever see her and feel like it's a personal dig when she doesn't want to spend time with me. Tonight for instance, she's going out for drinks with her coworkers after work, before coming home. Rationally, I realize she has friends and wants to spend time with them, but what I hear is "I'd rather spend time with the coworkers whom I see way more than I see you." I don't think that's how she means it, but it puts me in a mood and then we fight more.
It's miserable watching my pity party destroy what was a wonderful relationship. I know I'm doing it, but can't get myself to stop... | My gf has almost no free time and I take it personally when she doesn't want to spend it with me. I know it's selfish but can't get my headspace in a place to recognize it... |
t3_1rnwbs | relationships | Did I [23 F] mess things up with my [23 M] crush? | I really liked this guy who was a second year in med school (now a 3rd yr). I sent him many messages, told him straight up that I liked him, and I organized ways to meet up with him. He barely replied to my messages but showed me all the signs that he was interested in me, and met up with me on several occasions. This went on for several months.
I basically made all the moves inviting him to take me! I understand he may be awkward and inexperienced. While I was waiting for him to reciprocate my moves in a real way, I think we drew the whole thing out and it eventually became awkward. Because of how awkward it got, I never heard from him again :'( I'm heartbroken.
I feel like there may have been something I could've done differently to make him more comfortable or something, but at the same time I truly did all I could manage. I don't know how I could have made it smoother.
Did I mess it up by not being more straightforward? The only way I could've been more straightforward is if I pulled him in for a kiss, and I don't really do that! I need to talk to the guy beforehand! What do you think :( | I pursued my crush who seemed to like me as well but it fell apart. I don't know if I messed it up, though I believe he should have made some concrete moves himself. |
t3_1wwld1 | relationship_advice | My ex-gf[17/F] cheated on her new boyfriend with me[18/M] | I dated this girl all throughout high school and we really had something special. She broke up with me about 2 months ago and I really still have strong feelings towards her and really want her back. Recently, I found out that she has been dating a new guy for only two weeks. A couple of days ago she came over to my house and we laid in my bed and kissed. She says she still has feelings for me, but not enough to get back with me. She cheated on her boyfriend with me and has not told him and I want her back. What should I do? | My ex cheated on her new boyfriend with me and has not told him. I still have strong feelings for her and she still has some feelings for me. |
t3_2rn8cz | relationships | About a month and a half ago my psychotic ex-wife [26F] left me [35M] and now I'm seeing a very beautiful lady [29F], and I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm freaked out. | Hi - about a month and a half ago my dangerously psychotic ex-wife left me - we were married for about 5 months. She flew out and is currently in the UK. I was meeting up with friends these days in the local metal bar and I met a gorgeous and seemingly really cool lady who's 29, and we hit it off immediately, although I think that things might be moving way too quickly, and I told her that I need to take it easy, that I'm still hurt, although I feel nothing for my ex. She seems to be really nice and has her big problems of her own. I don't see a hint of crazy in her, but she's hurt herself - I can tell, and well she takes the escapism route (partying) just like I do. However, she seems to be very warmhearted and easygoing, and is real eye candy.
I feel weird because she offered to clean my apartment during the day (the floor's a mess) and I said that it's better if we clean it together. I met her 2 days ago and simply cannot trust so quickly, although many people know her and my friends gave me the green light that she's a good person, and that there's nothing to worry about. I told her that I still have trust issues after what happened with my ex-wife. Did I do something wrong there?
If anybody would like to read what happened with my ex-wife, here's the link:
If anybody is willing to give advice, I would be very grateful. | I started seeing a hottie a month and a half after my ex-wife left me and I'm extremely insecure about how to handle a new relationship. |
t3_3x6nyu | relationships | Me [19 M] with my [17 F] of 18 months, broke up and I'm struggling to give her space and time, when all I want is us to be back together. | How am I meant to give her space when it feels like all I'm doing is making things worse and she's drifting away, I don't want to seem clingy or obsessed but I just want to see her and talk to her. I highly doubt there's magic words to make he instantly go; "sure lets do it", but if there's something along those lines, I'd love some help. She's talking to her friends as if she's happy to be single and sharing music on facebook that's just about hooking up and all this stupid shit and it's driving me insane. | GF and I broke up and we're giving eachother space to calm down, but it feels like it's just making things worse. |
t3_v6fkn | relationships | Cheating - anyone lived to tell the tale? | Me (f) 24, husband 29; together for a year, married for a month.
I found out my husband was having "inappropriate communications" with another woman briefly after we were married. I hesitate to call it emotional infidelity, even, because I don't think there was real emotion involved on his part - he was being immature and handling the loss of his bachelor status very poorly.
Nevertheless, I feel shattered. I keep thinking of him with her (they slept together previously), and I have a very hard time believing anything he says. Intellectually, I know he loves me and wants to be with me, yet I keep flying into uncontrollable rages and/or crying fits, which just makes both of us more miserable.
I want this to work, and I believe it can - I'm just not sure how to deal with my feelings in a productive way, or how to stop dwelling on the bad to the exclusion of the good, or how to get over wanting to punish him constantly.
If there is anyone here (on either side) who has pulled through such a situation, I could use any advice you might have. | Any tips to get over (or at least not think about constantly) the infidelity of a spouse who's truly regretful? |
t3_33i325 | jobs | Some job search help! | I think this is the proper sub to post this, but if any one feels this is not an appropriate sub, I apologize for it.
I am a recent graduate with MS in applied mathematics and statistics from a top state school in NY. My gpa is decent at 3.27. I also have a BA in sociology. I know SAS, R, Python, Excel, SQL to an intermediate level. The graduate classes i took were basically standard classes lile expermental design, regression analysis, intro to probability, categorical data, theory, foundations to quantitative finance, statistical computing, etc.
My only work experience is from a internship at a village which was just explaining statistical terms in english. Rest of my experience comes from class projects and I havent been exposed to any really big data.
Due to some personal circumstances, I work at retail to pay bills.
I have been getting interviews from all kind of places like Capital One, Citibank, EMC, etc. But all of them dont go further than phone interviews with the hiring manager. The only interview that I badly flunked was as far as I remember one with state street. All other interviews, I dont think I have managed to mess it up any other ways. I also have visitied few recruiters, but they dont follow up at all.
So my question is, what can i be doing wrong? I realize I havent given all the info but apart from i might not be presenting myself right, what else can i be doing worng?What can I do more to make people think I am a better candidate?
I have no restrictions on fields that I want to work to apart from it involves a fair amount of statistics and some proramming which is also not set to hard on stone. I am pretty flexible with this.
Any suggestions to companies i can apply to that hire entry level candidates? | recent graduate with a MS in applied mathematics & statistics, get job calls, dont hear back and cant seem to get an in person interview. suggestions to make this situation improve. |
t3_13tzc2 | relationship_advice | [21/f] boyfriend [34/m] can't answer me if im his girlfriend or not | [Original post here!](
Our relationship has worked quite well the past weeks, but the feeling that he just considers us as friends is still there. (he hasn't broken up with me, this is just a feeling I been having). Today, a couple of minutes ago, I told him via msn that I have felt lost the past few weeks, that I no longer know whether I am his girlfriend because I do not know if he still sees me that way. Sadly, I told him this just before he was going to bed because he has a job interview tomorrow. So I told him that and said that I feel like his girlfriend and I'm in love with him, but I have a feeling that it isn't mutual anymore. The first thing he says is that he gets angry/upset because I said this just before he was going to bed, and then he says (sarcastically) that it's good that I'm not pushing him. (Last week, we talked and then he said that he is in love with me, but he did not want me pushing him to meet and stuff like that). Then he just said goodbye and logged off. Now Im sitting here so damn sad once again. Should it be this hard for him to say that I'm his girlfriend? Am I pushing him? I just want to know what we have, if we have a relationship or if we've broken up or having a break. | we've been having problems, and I dont feel that he loves me. I asked him if he still sees me as his girlfriend, he logges off msn. |
t3_29iyib | personalfinance | What are some of the best banks to take out a student loan from in NY, or where can I find some? | Right now, I have just completed 2 years at a community college with an AS in comp sci and now I'm going to go to UB for computer science bachelors. I am going to be living on campus for the first year there and going to be living off for the second year hopefully. I have 6.5k in debt right now, and I estimate this next two years will be approximately 25-30k more in debt, probably less. Now I just need to find some banks that would be able to help me pay this money I owe to the school for housing and tuition. | I need to find a place to take out a loan to pay for school. Not help on finding out how to repay them, I feel like this amt of debt is fine for what field I am going into. |
t3_if7op | AskReddit | Seeking Advice on Planning a Caribbean Honeymoon for January 2012 | My fiance and I are about 5 months away from the wedding and are thinking now is a good time to start planning our early January honeymoon. We're looking to go some place where we'd be able to get away from the cold weather, enjoy the beach, and do a few fun activities (e.g. horse riding, swimming with dolphins, scuba diving, etc). Our budget for the whole affair is flexible ($3k to $5k) and we're trying to make it last as long as possible (5 to 7+ days).
We've done some research and found a few all inclusive resorts that looked reasonable, however, we feel like there's a TON of information/options and it'd be great to hear from someone who's already done something similar. Right now we're eyeing all inclusives in Punta Cana as they seem to be the simplest and most complete deal, however, we not committed to anything.
We'd love hear of any trip suggestions, similar experiences, or any advice more seasoned travelers can share. Ideally, it'd be great to get some solid resort/hotel recommendations, islands to consider, activities suggestions, and cost-cutting ideas. If you have any questions about what we're looking for please ask! Thanks for your help! | I want to go somewhere beachy for a January 2012 honeymoon. Currently considering the Caribbean but not sure where to start and how to tackle research. Hoping for advice! |
t3_142xg1 | AskReddit | Reddit. Christmas is on the rise and I cannot afford to give any gifts this time around. My mother and family keep insisting I provide them with ideas for gifts. How would you go about telling them not to spend their money on you? | A little story here. I am 22 years old and living on my own. I work two jobs just to pay the bills and unfortunately times are rough. I do not have the money to spend on gifts for my family this year. Now my mother and I had a conversation this afternoon which unfortunately resulted in a heated argument about giving and receiving Christmas presents. My opinion is that if I cannot afford to give any presents to my loved ones this year, I DO NOT WANT ANY IN RETURN. Period. End of discussion. I absolutely cannot stand the thought of sitting there Christmas morning with nothing to give. My mom on the other hand told me it was "ok" and that she still wanted to get me a few things. I kept insisting her not to and it led to a heated battle of exchanging words over the phone. She eventually told me I would have to except whatever I would receive for Christmas and promptly disconnected the conversation.
Now I know everyone knows that the whole point of the holiday season is to give and not receive. I know my mother is thinking this exact thing right now and I am 100% sure that my family will not think twice about not getting anything from me this year as they will love and appreciate the time that we will be able to spend with each other. I will certainly do the same as I believe that it is really what Christmas is all about. I've always wanted do the best for my family. To be honest, I have never liked being the center of attention along with getting gifts on holidays. Hell, I don't even like my own birthday! Help me out here people. I could really use some advice on this.
What I would like to know is how you have dealt with this sort of situation? If you haven't, how would you deal with it? How can I come to a mutual agreement with my mother on this topic? I'm not the creative type at all so I cannot make anything by hand haha! | Can't afford X-mas gifts, I don't want any in return for that reason. People still want to buy me stuff, what's a guy to do? |
t3_2uu83z | relationships | I [M29] feel like I am falling out of love with my fiancée [F29]. Is it anxiety? Please help. | I have been with my fiancée for almost two years. Quick back story: we were high school sweethearts, broke up, 10 years later got back together and are to be married soon. While we have had some ups and downs, I have known she is the one for me. I want her to be the mother of my children.
About 2 weeks ago, this intense love that I felt for her just burnt out. Like nothing was there. My chest started to tighten, it was hard to breathe, I felt an emptiness in my stomach. I have been very gassy and I have started getting light headed and getting headaches which I usually don't get. When I tried to go to sleep, I started having an anxiety attack. I have felt like this for the past few weeks and nothing has changed. I have tried hiking, meditation, exercise etc. While they did help for a bit, I would go back to feeling this emptiness especially when I am around my fiancee. I have experienced this before with an ex.
I love this woman with all my heart and soul, but it just feels like every time I have told her "I love you" in the last few weeks has felt hollow. I know I am suppose to be with her. I can already feel it taking a toll on us and I am feeling a failure to her.
Has anyone else felt this way? If so, what did you to do to get out of it? I need all the help I can get. Please. | I am falling out of love with my fiancee and I don't know if it is anxiety or true disinterest in her. |
t3_4xbcpw | dogs | [Help] My dog won't stop biting his skin off, nothing helps alleviate it | Hey all, I have a 10 month old mixed breed puppy, about 50 pounds, possibly a rottweiler/lab mix. He has always been "itchy" but recently he will not leave himself alone. He tears his fur off and his back half is covered in huge bald patches, and now he's opened up bloody patches as well. In addition, he always looks miserable, whining softly, getting very anxious when he can't scratch, and generally looking kind of down.
We have tried everything. We switched his food to a reputable grain free brand, we don't give him human food and we're careful about his treats. He's on a monthly parasite guard, and we have sprayed our yard for bugs. Our other dog has no itching at all, and neither of them have any visible sign of fleas, ticks, mange or bug bites. He has torn off and completely destroyed two cones when we weren't looking, he licks off any ointments and he tears off the clothes we try to secure him in. We tried exercising him more in case it was anxiety. We are bathing him weekly with a hypoallergenic oatmeal shampoo. Benadryl does nothing for him.
We rescued him as an incredibly young puppy with health issues, and if it matters, we think he has some kind of hip injury. He bites around his tail and hips, so maybe its pain related?
I don't know what to do. I don't have the money this month to take him to the vet, and I need to find something that helps to tide us over until I get paid. Does anyone have any advice? | my dog bites himself incessantly and has now bitten himself raw. Nothing works and I need help until we can see the vet. |
t3_2bwtwm | relationships | Husband has genital wart, swears he hasn't been unfaithful. I don't know what to think. | We've been married >10 years and now he has a big ol' genital wart that he sure didn't get from me. He swears he hasn't been with anybody else since we have been married. I want to believe him but don't want to be a chump. Is it really possible that this has laid dormant for a decade only to show symptoms now? Or is he playing me for a fool? I am freaked out that he has this at all, and that he allowed it to get frickin' huge without seeing a doctor.
I have had HPV myself for a long time but it is the "silent" strain that increases the risk of cervical cancer--which is *not* a strain that causes visible warts. I have never had warts or sores, and my HPV has been dormant the whole time we have been married (no abnormal Pap tests during our married life). | Married 10 years, hubby now has a genital wart he didn't get from me. Proof of cheating or just a long-dormant virus acting up? |
t3_3m1y61 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my Vietnamese girlfriend [33 F], comment a friend [36 M] made | Note - I'm white, friend is white, however my girlfriend is Vietnamese.
Last night, I logged onto my friends' voicechat, and found a group of local friends running some instances on an online game. I was just checking on my gear, not intending to play, when one of the guys asked if I wanted to jump in.
I said I couldn't because my girlfriend was coming over. We talked briefly about how it'd be best to not start something and bail partway through. Then though, Zach [36M] decided to ask, "Is her coming over at least a 'me love you long time' situation?"
I told Zach that comment was highly offensive, to which he responded "Good, it was meant to be!"
I logged off not long after that. I woke up this morning and while showering got really upset with what Zach said, and how I handled it. I play other games offline with groups of people that include Zach, such as a weekly rpg session. What should I have done? What should I still do?
For those that don't know, there's a famous scene in the Vietnam war movie 'Full Metal Jacket' where a Vietnamese prostitute approaches the main character to proposition him. She says things like, "You got a girlfriend?", "Me so horny" and *"Me love you long time" | Friend says comment referencing hooker scene from Full Metal Jacket, a vietnam war movie, in passing to me about my girlfriend and I. What do? |
t3_1l2mta | relationships | Me[20 F] with my college roommate [20 F] of two years, picking a temperature for the room is ruining our relationship | So last year we were roommates and our dorm was so hot without air conditioning that it was miserable (we go to school in the South). I told her this summer I was going to use my allergies to get us an AC installed for the next year, and she was very happy about it.
However, now that the year has begun, I like the room at 69 degrees at night, 73ish during the day whereas she likes it at like 75 at night and off during the day.
I really can't sleep when it's that hot (I will wake up in a pool of my own sweat) and she says she can't sleep with it that cold. I tried to compromise to 71-72 and gave her my heated blanket, but she still says it's too cold.
The biggest issue however, is I'm all for trying to compromise, but since I applied for the AC unit, I am the one paying for it ($500 extra a semester). Therefore, even though it sucks I feel as though I have the right to request the room to be slightly on the colder side, since I got the unit with her permission.
I already sleep almost naked so there's not much else I can do there except use a bunch of fans, but then why am I paying an extra $1000 a year for an AC unit I'm not even using.
It seems like such a stupid thing to fight about but it's only 5 days into the semester and we've already fought about it everyday, and I don't see the problem just going away. I don't know what to do. | My roommate and I can't agree and what temperature to put on the AC unit that I pay for, and it's ruining our relationship. |
t3_27ltgk | relationships | My [22M] relationship of half a decade just ended on her [20F] prompting, she's already sleeping with another guy, and I can't handle it. How do I cope? | Hey /r/relationships..
Not sure if this is the right place to post something like this, but I could use a little help. I've been in a long distance relationship for about a half-decade. We weathered a lot of challenges together, and I still managed to propose in Spring 2013. Things were more or less stable up until the Summer.
That said, this year things really started to fall apart for us, partially due to the distance, and partially due to the general lack of future direction (I'm close to finishing college, she's not sure what she wants to do, etc). She ended up asking for a lot more freedom than I was comfortable with, and all in all things weren't going great in terms of communication or stability.
Cut to this Summer, where I was able to spend a little time at home before leaving again for an internship out of the state. On our last day together, she prompted a conversation in which we spoke about how we might be better off as friends (lack of mutual passions, distance, etc etc), and she asked to end things. We ended them. I left, and we only spoke sparingly for a few days, myself starting to try and move on. Three days into being single, I discovered she'd met someone online the first day I was gone, and had since been on a date and slept with him. She mostly intimates that this is just a distraction for her, that she knows it's too soon, that it's her way of coping with the break-up, but it's tearing me apart just to think about it, and I'd really like to get past the pain.
So, fellow redditors, how do I deal? I'm mostly considering just cutting her off conversationally for a few weeks, but I'd love to hear your opinions.
Thanks for your time!
Kreelix
P.S. - This really isn't meant to be a "let's bash my ex" thread, I understand why she chose that course of action, and I don't "blame" her. | Long-term, long distance relationship ended last weekend, she's already sleeping with someone new, could use help with some coping methods. |
t3_1pjasl | relationships | My first love [18 F] broke up with me[18 M] about 2 months ago after a year long relationship, feeling like I will never find anyone else? | Well about a month ago, my girlfriend (1st) broke up with me because of the simple fact that she didn't love me any more and had emotionally moved on 3 months prior already.
I must admit, even though she has clearly moved on, I am still infatuated with her. I myself am a somewhat average looking guy, average body type and average fitness, nothing special.
However I don't consider many of my friends to be girls, and even those that are, they are already in a relationship. I have no self confidence, and do not possess the skill to talk to women when out in public, beyond the standard greetings. I feel like I will never find anyone else, because I remain quiet, which is consequently the reason why I am still in love with my ex. | High school girlfriend broke up with me, feeling like I will never find anyone else because I really have no clue how to talk to girls my age beside the basic conversations! |
t3_mqau4 | AskReddit | What have you found to be the most effective way for preparing for presentations? | I have 5 presentations coming up this week and public speaking isn't one of my strong skills. I tend to forget about what I wanted to say and draw a blank during my presentations. I want to find some new ways to prepare and present so I don't look like a fool. My past presentations this semester have all crashed and burned in my eyes, and some of my friends that are willing to tell me the truth without sugar-coating it.
Currently, I rehearse the presentation to myself, write down notes, and try to get myself well informed in the subject matter so I can answer a question if asked. This doesn't help much though because I turn into a nervous wreck after a minute or two in to presenting and then the floodgates open. Dry-mouth, forgetting what I was going to say, shaky voice, and I get quieter as I speak. One of the contributing factors is that I have an underbite that causes me to have a lisp. When I talk I put a lot of thought in to pronunciation and things so I don't slur my words and people can understand me. When I get nervous most of my thoughts are directed at actively making sure I say words correctly. In turn, I lose focus on the material I was speaking about.
Since these are the last presentations of the semester I want to surprise everyone by doing incredible on my presentations. I would like some tips and methods that have worked for other redditors. Maybe even a doppelganger who can present for me. | I suck at public speaking, might be causing all world problems. Need to present next week. Help me turn in to a public speaking champ. |
t3_2ji1tr | relationships | Dating - Me [24 M] , digital reintroduction and an online dating type? | Hello,
I am a 24 year old male who recently ended a long term( 5 year plus) relationship. I'm in my home town. Looking to get back into the dating world at least casually. I don't really like to go to clubs, bars or drinking.
Plot Twist: I'm fairly good looking, have a good sense of humor and have well nice social skills.
My situation is essentially one where I think I would do reasonably well once I had met someone that I was interested in.
But how do I meet these new ladies?
Obviously I'll be trying to go out more to events etc, however I have two specific questions with regards to other strategies.
First - what is the best way to approach an introduction / reintroduction if a digital arena is your only option? Striking up a conversation seems the most aggressive reasonable option, more reasonable than asking to meet or something like that. Another thought would be to invite them to an event I'll be attending. Thoughts? Keep in mind these aren't long lost friends but more like girl from another high school who I met briefly years ago, is cute, local and have friends in common.
Second. I've thought about using some sort of online dating service, but am a little worried that I might find a certain type of person... My prejudice is showing I know. I guess I get this strange feeling that girls I have dated and enjoyed being with in the past would never use online dating, making me wonder if it is a good option for me. | 1. If you are Facebook friends with someone you met awhile ago and don't really know is it weird to strike up a conversation online? |
t3_3m3qwr | relationships | Me [21M] breaking up with GF [21F] of 5 years. How do I approach this? | I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, and I really don't see this going anywhere. I'm not particularly happy in this relationship and she knows it. I still love her (at least I think I do) but I'm not sure if I just feel comfortable with her.
Our relationship isn't particularly as physical as I'd like it to be, and she knows I'm not satisfied. She's gone to live away for a year so I'll only see her once every few weeks as opposed to practically living together for the past 2 years.
Whilst under the influence (not that I'm blaming drugs, but it's backstory) I've kissed a number of girls and I've come clean with her, but she acts like she doesn't care when I can tell she really does. This has definitely but a strain on this relationship on my part.
I've spoken to my parents/friends about breaking up with her and they've all said that they could see it coming because of the way our lives are going, and they can tell that I'm not happy in this relationship.
Because this is the only relationship I've ever had, I have no idea how to end it. I'm an adult, so I understand human emotion, and I don't want to be cold and think it's entirely her fault. (I'm not saying it isn't her fault at all, but it definitely is down to both of us messing up)
I'm travelling to see her this weekend, and she has no idea that I'm going to break up with her. So do I just come out with it? I have no idea how this works and I don't want to let her down in a way that's going to upset her any more than necessary.
She's currently living with a close friend of her's so I know that when I leave she won't be on her own because I don't know what she might do. | Breaking up with gf of 5 years, she doesn't know my intentions and I have no idea how to approach this. I still love her but I don't see us having a future together any more. |
t3_qj99n | AskReddit | Reddit, was I wrong to break up with my girlfriend for her mild drug usage? | I'm eighteen years old, and I should probably preface this by saying that I do not smoke anything and take zero pride in that. I started a wonderful relationship last January that ended in this past month as a result of my increasing anxiety and confusion over my girlfriend's infrequent mild drug usage. It started last year on 4/20, when she skipped school to smoke pot for her first time with a few friends. She told me before hand it would only be hookah, and did not tell me the truth afterward, so I didn't have reason to pursue it at the time. In the summer it happened again, and this time it came to light that 4/20 and this most recent incident had indeed involved pot. In fact, she had also taken salvia this time and left it out when confessing to me. She went off to college. After her freshman finals in December, it happened again, using it to unwind with a friend after a tough week. This time, she at least told me beforehand, but did not give me much of a say in it. We hobbled on for a bit longer, and after a really rough night of feeling terrible about it, I cut it off.
For some reason, because I had originally assumed at the beginning of the relationship that she was not the sort of person who would ever touch drugs or anything of the sort, it ruined my ideal of her. With that piled onto our now long-distance relationship, I couldn't do it anymore. I had to end it.
The thing is, I'm fully aware that this behavior is fairly normal (and inconsequential) as far as teenage drug use goes, which is why I'm having such a tough time convincing myself I made the right decision. I was happier with her than I had been with anyone else, but being reminded about what had happened and what might happen again always put me back so far. | I broke up with my really great girlfriend because she lied and smoked a few times. Am I an uptight prude? |
t3_42k3lm | relationships | Me [20 F] cuddling with my "friend" [21 M], am I toying with him? | Hi! I have a complicated romantic situation at the moment. I've been talking to an ex again for the past couple months, and have made it clear that I want to be pursued and taken on dates before we make it official again. We live a few hours apart, so he hasn't taken me on any dates yet. We still talk every other day.
Last semester, I became good friends with this guy named Zach. Zach knew I was talking to my ex, so nothing ever happened on that front. However, I've been kinda interested in him (my ex and I discussed that it was still ok to see other people at this point), and had been getting vibes that he was interested in me as well.
The other night, Zach and his friend came over to hang out with me and my roommate. My roommate got pretty drunk and started making out with Zach's friend, leaving Zach and I alone in my room, sitting on my bed. We had each only had one drink and were by no means tipsy.
After talking for awhile, we eventually ended up cuddling a bit, but there was no kissing involved. I fell asleep in his arms for a bit, and we resumed talking when I woke up. Still no kissing. Around 1 am I started feeling guilty about having a boy sleep in my bed (because of the ex and because of my Christian morals), so I told him I was going to go sleep on the couch. He refused and told me he would go home to sleep at his place instead. He left.
The next morning, my roommates made me feel guilty about the whole thing because "people don't usually just cuddle" and since I'm not ready to date him right this second (I would need time to resolve things/cut things off with my ex), I shouldn't be getting his hopes up. Also, apparently he had real feelings for me, which he never made clear to me.
Did I do something wrong here? Am I a player? In my head it was two consenting adults who are interested in each other engaging in some innocent snuggles. However, he ended up feeling hurt the next day because he thought I was toying with him. | Cuddled with a friend while in limbo with an ex. He's hurt now, am I toying with him? |
t3_2qy7jk | relationships | My husband [43/m] gets so angry when I [33/f] space out sometimes | We've been married for almost 2 years, and most of the time we're very happy, but I have an unfortunate personality trait that continually causes problems between us. Sometimes, when I'm tired or distracted or just a little "out of it", I don't always listen to things he's saying. Like, I'll be doing something and he'll suggest a better way to do it, but I'll kind of brush him off unintentionally, which makes him really, really angry. I don't generally notice I've done it until it's too late. Because of this, he says I'm a "contemptuous asshole" and showing massive disrespect.
Last night he threatened to leave me because I didn't take his suggestion for a way to increase the lighting before I took a picture of our cat - which I'm sure he didn't really mean, but he hasn't spoken to me since then.
I've tried over and over again to stop this behavior, but I find that it seems to take over any time I'm focused on a particular task - I'll hear what he's saying but it doesn't really register. So I feel like I either need tons of therapy or maybe to just force myself not to do any tasks that require a lot of focus when he's around. Other than this unfortunate habit, I'm generally a pretty good partner, but this one thing seems to be enough to destroy our relationship if I can't find a way to change. I often work long hours and also suffer from insomnia, which also contributes to the problem. I'd love any advice. | Sometimes I space out and don't fully listen to things my husband says; he finds this extremely disrespectful and has threatened to leave me if I can't improve. |
t3_2irnkj | tifu | TIFU by skipping work a day for my birthday | So, yesterday was my birthday and I made some bad decisions.
On Monday, I was working, as usual, and I told my workmates that my birthday was coming up on Wednesday. On our work, they dont allow us to celebrate birthdays, so I didn't commented on that anymore.
Yesterday, on my birthday, I woke up, getting ready for work as usual. I received a call from my family that they have prepared small party and a dinner. I was decided to skip work and spend time with family, which in my opinion, family comes before work. I gave my workplace a call, trying to request a day off. I was at the phone for nearly 1 hour and I was on hold (which is funny, because I work on a call center), waiting for confirmation on my day off and didnt received any respone. Tired of waiting, I just hang up and said ''Fuck it''.
I spent the entire day with my family, had good times. When I get home at night, I had around 20 mails and 100+ texts on my iPad. All of those were people from my work, angry at me because I didnt went to work that day, and they had prepared a cake for me. I replied that they didnt allowed us to celebrate, so how did they brought up a cake. The reponse I received is that, they had arranged all of their schedules to end their shift along with mine and they would take me out to a place and eat together. Now I feel like an asshole.
~~Oh, and I got a warning for skipping work.~~ (See edit2) | I decided to skip work and spend time with family because of birthday. Workmates had arranged their shifts so we could celebrate after our shift. |
t3_54hva3 | relationships | my gf [17F] cheated on me [17M] while on holiday | The last time I posted on Reddit about my girlfriend, I was worried about her on some trip with two twats and their promiscuous friends and long story short she cheated on me there.
When I messaged her half way through the vacation week telling her I was uncomfortable, she comforted me about how she's faithful, and then didn't mention she kissed and touched up another girl (something way over both our boundaries, or so I thought). Only now has she come forward, over a month later.
We've been together for three years soon, I loved her and I never thought she'd do this with her family history making her so averse to it.
I constantly let it go when she talks about how hot she finds other people (which is all the time, at least a few times a day) because I never believed she'd act on it, but she is the best thing that ever happened to me
Do I leave her or do I forgive her? | My girlfriend cheated on me, but apart from that she's the best person I've ever met, I genuinely though I'd marry her. what do I do? |
t3_3tqzus | tifu | TIFU by letting a couple drunk friends crash at my place and one of them pissed in my oven. | Some of my co-workers and I went out for drinks last night, had a good time got pretty drunk. We all came back to my house for an after party after the bars closed, and a few left shortly after coming back to my house. But one of my friends passed out in my recliner, no big deal it's cool if he stays at my house for the night. Another lives a few miles out of town and also decides to stay , I give him a blanket and pillows to crash on my couch. I wake up this morning, walk into the kitchen and find my oven open. Thinking that is a little strange i also find upon closer inspection there is a mysterious liquid sitting in the bottom of the oven and on the lid. Automatically I think it is piss, but hope for the best, asked my friends about it and of course they know nothing. I get a call from another friend from my hometown about 2 hours away says he wants to come up and hangout and bring his SO along. Great! I don't get visitors from old friends very often. I start cleaning house after the two guys that stayed the night leave and soak up the liquid in the oven. I smell it but it really doesn't have much odor. Now this is where I go med up. I decided to crank the oven on to dry up whatever liquid still remains. I leave the house to go work in the garage for a bit. I come back inside about 30 minutes later and my smoke detector is going off and then I hit this wall of what smells like baked piss. Not very pleasent, and now my friend from back home is 15 minutes out with his girlfriend who has never been to my place and my whole house smells like piss soup. | let a couple drunk friends stay the night, one of them pissed in my oven. Tried to clean it put by baking it. The stench in my house is too real while other guests are on their way over. |
t3_3b47hf | tifu | TIFU by telling my best female friend she has beautiful legs | First of a little introduction. Since the beginning middle school I've had a crush on my best female friend. Let's call her Emma.
Emma and I used to be together in the same class, this was in the first year. In the holiday we kept a lot of contact with each other via facebook messenger, since she didn't had a smartphone yet.
In this time we chatted with each other for at least 2 hours a day, in this time I just kept missing and loving her more and more.
After the holiday she went to another class, but we still had a lot of contact with each other via Skype and Whatsapp.
Times went on and my love for her settled down, it didn't go away. I just hid it because I knew there is no way we'll be together. Now my love for her is just an extreme caring for her and loving every aspect of her, just without butterflies in my stomach.
Now I'm on a different school in the same city and we had our ups and downs. At the moment our communication was the best it had been in a long time. It felt like the good old times.
I was joking with her via WhatsApp that my favorite weather was coming up, hot pants weather. I kept making jokes about it now and then, she also made a few jokes about it.
Today she jokingly told me that she was wearing hot pants, since it became "our" joke. We had great contact this day, normally we only chat with each other in the afternoon or before bedtime.
I also saw her for the first time in 5 weeks again, I was cycling by but we chatted for a few seconds before I had to take a left.
Later this day she sent a picture her friend took of her at the beach. I replied with a emoji with hearts in the eyes and "legs".
I had told her already that she has beautiful legs about a year ago and that created an awkward situation, but now I had more confidence. So I fully went for it.
She now replied with "fuck off" and "what kind of creep are you!"
And now she thinks I'm a creep and she won't reply to my messages. | I told my best female friend that she had beautiful legs. She ends up hating me and making me feel terrible for my deeds although I just made a compliment. |
t3_1jm6qv | relationships | Red flag? Or is this normal.... | My SO(M26) and I(F21) have a great relationship. Very Minsk argument and are very open when it comes to things that have bothered one another. We live together and theyr is really nothing bad that I can say about him. I love him. The only thing that is extremely weird to me is his phone. He runs a business and is typically always busy with work although I completely support whatever he wants to do. He takes his phone every where with him. Literally every where. Bathroom when he's going to shower, never leaves home with out it. Is typically on the phone %80 of the time whether it be texting or calls. Yes it does get on my nerves at times but I understand since he is a busy person. But is the phone thing normal. I almost want to bring it up but don't want to sound like a nosy/attached Gf. Any input? Of any experience in this situation? | MyF21 SO M26 is always on his phone literally always. Should I be worried or is it normal/expectable? |
t3_f93v7 | AskReddit | How do I get out of being the go to guy for free computer repair and start charging for it? | It all started in Middle School were I realized I had an amazing gift for technology, my parents would always make me set the clock on the VCR. Set up the new gaming consoles (yes I was half spoiled), and eventually set up the new computer in the house. Well fast forward 15 years, I'm now 28 with a good social group, job I love with a decent wage as a Network Admin and now I'm even more in demand for being that guy. Usually I wouldn't have a problem, I love computers but it's getting to the point its taking to much fucking time, today I spent 4 hrs on non-work related computer crap. Coworkers, family and friends all call me usually at least 2-3 times a week to clean up viruses set up wireless networks or suggest a new laptop for them. I've tried to say no, but for its something that's really hard for me to do, in all honestly I'm saving up for a wedding, I'm half broke and I'd love to start charging a below market price to friends and family for doing this but I have no clue on how to go about asking. Any advice? | spending to much time working on peoples computers/giving out advice for free. Want to grow a pair and ask for monies. Seek reddit advice. |
t3_4zm832 | jobs | Blown off by an interviewer who blamed me, didn't get the job- next steps? | Hey so I was progressing nicely with the interview process for a company that I had always admired for their philosophy and culture before I ended up getting totally shut down. The first interviewer was totally rad, loved my interview, and couldn't wait to pass me on to her higher-up. Now, this is an very "crunchy-granola" type company that facilitates international travel. They pride themselves on solid, friendly communication skills.
Enter higher-up lady. Scheduled a Skype interview with me and was ready to go, studied some materials they sent me and even made sure to check in the night before to make sure our call was still on (and who was calling who). 10 minutes after our meeting time, she still hasn't called and so I go to check my email to find a message stating that she was unable to reach me and to try calling her. I do, and she rejects the call and says we need to reschedule since "I didn't show up" and that she tried calling me twice before sending an email. This is 10 minutes after our schedule interview time, which would have lasted much longer than 10 minutes anyway. So now, 10 minutes after half-assedly trying to get in touch, she no longer has time for me. Feeling totally blown off, I follow up stating my availability, that I'm sorry for the mixup, and that calling my phone would have been more immediate than email (they already had my number). She responds with a 2-paragraphs long explanation of how the miscommunication was most definitely my fault and that she was right and I am wrong- she'll be in touch next week.
Exactly one week later I call their office to find out from the first interview (who so kindly regurgitated higher-up's side of the story) before kindly telling me that they had gone with another candidate.
SO, do I follow up in any way with higher-up? I'm tempted to confront her regarding how rude, dismissive, and immature she was and that her correspondence shocked me since it was so out of sync with the company's reputation BUT I also don't see anything I can gain from doing so. | Interviewer blew me off, blamed me and got defensive, didn't get job. Follow-up or forget it? |
t3_32xnqo | tifu | TIFU by opening my computer in class | A bit of a backstory: I'm a very big fan of the game Counter Strike:Global Offensive, so last night I stayed up late like many others, watching CS:GO videos. My computer died so I just called it a night and went to bed.
We're studying WWII currently in our world history class and we had a discussion today about the dropping of the atomic bombs. We started the discussion so I felt I should turn on my computer to take some notes, right? Well, my computer was dead (from last night) so I had to plug it in. Great, now my computer is turning on. As it turns on and the lock screen appears, I hear gunshots at full volume and what seems to be a fucking battlefield coming from my computer. As I am scrambling to mute the volume (old computer so it takes a while), I hear "the bomb has been planted" (part of this game). My heart sank and people around me gave me weird looks. I force shut down my computer and decided to take notes by hand for the rest of the discussion.
Not sure if my professor heard, not sure if I want to know either. | Opened my computer in the middle of a class discussion and a video game video played, so it sounded like a fucking battlefield during a discussion about the atomic bombs being dropped in WWII. |
t3_1eagqd | AskReddit | Redditors who have been part of an ANR: how was it initiated and how did it turn out? (xpost from /r/askreddit) | I'm xposting this to try and get more responses.
ANR = Adult Nursing Relationship (I'll try to avoid using this term because it sounds clinical and fetish-y, which is not my intent).
I'm looking for a nonthreatening way to show my wife the benefits of a breastfeeding relationship, gently and without coercion. For example, nursing releases oxytocin in the woman's brain, helping pair-bonding and making her happy and relaxed (and if she's happy, I'm happy). We've been married for about a year, but she's known about my interest in drinking her milk for most of the time she's known me. I haven't pressed the issue, and she has kept an open mind but has not said she definitely will or won't. To clear a few things up:
* This is not a fetish. A fetish is some unusual thing done for sexual gratification, and my interest in breastfeeding has nothing to do with sex. My interest is more about finding a new way to emotionally connect with her and to create a new form of intimacy between ourselves.
* This is not about objectifying my wife. I do not want or intend to make her into my personal milk machine.
* This is not about infantilism. I do not have mommy issues, and I have no desire to dress like a baby and have my wife become my mother.
I will love my wife no matter what she decides on this, but I am deeply hoping she at least gives it a chance. I just want her to see it the same way I do--that it's a way to bring us closer and strengthen our intimacy. And if she also gets a lessened risk of cancer and I get an immune system boost, then so much the better.
And I realize that I'm going to get comments telling me to grow up or find a different fetish. But to each their own; this happens to be what interests me. | I want to drink my wife's milk, but I want it to be her decision to allow it. This is not a fetish (see bullet #1). |
t3_ftkov | AskReddit | I bought a phone, tried activating it and upon my attempt it was revealed to me that the phone was stolen. What do I do? | Obvious throwaway...
So. I bought an iPhone 4 from a friend. (He got it off of CL and hadn't realized it was a Verizon model.) So after I received it I immediately tried activating it. Everything went smoothly until the activation process required me to call customer service. In the process of calling them I gave them all of my personal info. (Understandable, I was activating a new phone) after I give the person all of my info and the phone info, they proceed to tell me that my phone is on the lost/stolen list which is why I was having difficulties. I am now freaked out about the potential ramifications of receiving stolen property etc. etc... This is only intensified by the fact that I am pretty sure I'm the first person to try activating the phone since it was reported lost/stolen. Because as far as I understand it the timeline goes something like...
Original owner
|
V
Stolen, Listed on craigslist (no attempt at activation)
|
V
Friend buys it realizes it not an AT&T phone (no attempt)
|
V
I buy it. Shitstorm ensues
So, Reddit I ask you... What do? | I unknowingly bought a stolen iPhone 4 and I may be the first person to try to activate it... What do? |
t3_4ac8ln | tifu | TIFU by becoming Hitler | TIFU, So a few years back I was part of an international summer camp program where people from around the world would meet up and hang out for a month. This year, the camp was being held in Austria. Anyways, at these camps you had to plan activities that helped other people understand your country. Every day one country had to create an activity, and about halfway through the camp, Germany was up. The people from Germany decided to stage a mock election to help us understand their political parties and political system. We were divided into political parties and within our parties we had to nominate one individual to run for chancellor. Naturally, I was chosen to be the nominee for our party, and so I had to prepare a speech. I worked decently hard on the speech, and after about a half an hour of creating a political platform, all the nominees had to go to the podium and make our speeches. Before we get to this part, you need to know who was watching this presentation. Being an international camp, we had delegates from multiple different countries including Austria, Germany, and Israel (specifically Jerusalem). Back to the fuck up, I was third up out of five nominees, and so I sat in the chair trying to remember my speech. Finally it's was my turn and so I walk up to the podium with a huge german flag draped over it. Now the speech itself went fine, and I actually managed to talk about some great points, but it's what happened directly after that makes this story great. So I was wrapping up my speech and I thought to end it I would say "we are awesome" talking about our party and throw my hands up in the air like a politician. So I manage to throw out the comment and go to put my hands in the air, but my left hand gets caught in my pocket and I end up only putting one hand straight up into the air. I receive a collective *Gasp* from the crowd, and I realize that I am holding my hand and arm straight out in front of a podium with a german flag draped over it, in front of Austrians, Germans, and an all Jewish delegation from Israel. | I accidentally did a Nazi salute behind a podium with a German flag on it in front of a group of Jews, Germans, and Austrians. |
t3_4fa4k4 | relationships | I [23M] broke up with my girlfriend [23F] of 2 years, need help handling the emotions | I've posted here before when we last broke up, probably 7 or 8 months ago.
She has been dealing with depression and started going to therapy recently. During a session, she said she finally started to understand how her and I are too different to exist as a couple. This is something we have been struggling with since around 6 months into the relationship, and it had only been getting worse.
So we broke up, and this time I know it has to be for good. The real problem lies in that I know she is having a hard time with the depression and therapy and then this breakup, and I'm really the only person who truly knows what she is going through. She hasn't shared a lot about her problems with what few friends she currently has, and she's really struggling.
I love her a lot, and I really want to be there for her, but I don't know how to make that work. I hung out with her today and she just broke down about how she thinks we can make it work and that we just need to try harder. But I know we can't make it work, and I honestly don't want to be in a relationship with her, even though I know how much that hurts her and it kills me to be the cause of her pain like this.
I'm sorry if I've been rambling on, all of this has been panning out over the last few days and I don't know how to handle it.
I guess the discussion I'm looking for is how and if it is possible for me to still be there for her or if that's just not possible for people who have been in a relationship. I'm also looking for advice on moving on, if I should "get back on the horse" ASAP or if that's a bad idea and taking some time where I'm not looking to rebound is better. | I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm not sure if it is possible to be there for her during a very tough time in her life and I'm not sure what course of action is best for "moving on" |
t3_2tu7ly | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [28 F] duration, in need of some help from females! GF doesn't like that I watch porn | My gf and I have been dating for about 7 months and we have had to be long distance for the last 2 months because of some visa complications of mine. In the first 5 months, we lived in the same city and we were inseparable spending many nights a week together. I never really needed to masturbate separately so it never came up.
I had a conversation with her this morning and I mentioned to her that I watch porn to masturbate and that really took her aback. I also said that I would've watched porn if we had not spent so much time together in the beginning of our relationship.
This is her first relationship and maybe that is why she reacted like that. Now we have Skype sex fairly regularly and she probably feels like she is not enough and that I need porn to satisfy my sexual needs.
I am not sure how to explain to her that porn and sex with her are completely separate things. Can you guys help me out? (sorry for long block of text) | Dated 5 months, now long distance for 2 months now, she found out I masturbate to porn, she got mad/feels inadequate/insecure/maybe jealous, please help |
t3_snvtz | AskReddit | What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you while camping or being in the wilderness in general? I'll start! | When I was about 15 or so, my friend invited me to go camping with him and his parents. I forget where the location was, but it was in bearitory. I had gone camping in areas with bears a lot when I was younger so I wasn't worried about it. The first night there, my friend's dad said that when you hear the dogs bark, there is a bear nearby (he had brought their 2 family dogs on the trip, they slept just outside the tent. I was awaken by the sound of the dogs that night, but I slept easy.
The next night, we were around the camp fire and had just eaten dinner. All of the prep food was on top of the bear box. In the camp site next to us, there was what appeared to be a large man fiddling with a bucket in the dark. We then realized it was a grizzly standing on its hind legs about 30 feet from us. My friend's parents started banging pots to scare it away. Behind the bear box was a mother grizzly staring is down. We were surrounded by bears. They backed off a bit from the sounds of the pots. The one in the campite next to ours went to another campsite, and we heard a loud bang sound (we found out the morning that the bear had ripped out someone's car window). A fearless man came to our campsite and followed the bear behind the bear box into the dark woods and chased it away. We went to bed as soon as everything calmed down and the bears dispersed.
It took me a long time to fall asleep out of fear of bears coming back. Eventually, I managed to enter a light sleep. Short into that sleep, i was awaken again by the sound of our dogs barking. I was terrified of another close call with bears. Where I was sleeping in the tent, my head was nearby the edge of the tent. I heard some russtling in the bushes right by the tent. Almost immediately, a bear walks by, and in its stride, kicks the top of my head through the tent. I shit 3001 bricks and built a wall. I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I was more than happy to get out of there the next day. | campsite surrounded by grizzly bears, but we manage to scare them away. I get kicked in the head by a bear later that night through my tent. |
t3_11qjmc | relationships | I'm (22f) becoming needy and paranoid with my boyfriend (24) | Me (22F) and him (24M) have been together for a year – we broke up a few months ago, probably for about 2 months. During that time we did the unspeakable 'sex with the ex' and continued talking and spending time together as he said he just needed to 'get his head together' before he could be with me again, we mainly broke up that time because of my friends meddling and rumour stirring (they never ever liked him) but we stayed very close (I was pregnant at the time, he was very good about it, but we lost it during the break up – only a few months a long).
But I've recently found out he was soliciting other girls for sex when we were split up, when he promised he wasn't. I'm annoyed – obviously.
But it's made me horrifically depressed. When we were broken up he would go out and text me and tell me he was staying at a hot girls house (With friends though), he'd tweet about how much he wanted to do things sexually to other girls, girls would upload pictures of him in a sexually suggestive way, etc. and it's just sent me in a downward spiral that isn't stopping even though we're together now.
Even now he'll make jokes about texting girls (when he's not), or he'll make a comment about how he could have whoever he wants, and it just all makes me feel worthless. And I know he loves me and everything but I really don't like feeling this way.
Obviously we were broken up, I can't be mad at him – but when I have spoken about it with him he gets angry with me and just tells me to leave – it doesn't make it easier not being able to talk to him to clear the air and get the reassurance I really need.
How do I stop myself from being the paranoid needy mess I know I'm turning in to? Without talking to him about it? | Boyfriend was typical single man when he was a single man... but it's left me paranoid and needy. How do I stop? |
t3_3u25rj | relationships | I'm [M/23] confused why my girlfriend [F/25] suddenly wants to do certain social activities? | Been dating for around 18 months and met through mutual friends. We don't live together so normally free ourselves to meet at the weekends and do our own thing in the week.
We usually socialise as a couple or with mutual friends on the weekend and vary rarely not spend our weekends together.
For a one off occasion, I am out this weekend with people from football and now suddenly she is doing x, y and z.
She is doing activities she has said were boring in the past and with people she doesn't like. It doesn't make sense why she is now wanting to do things. I don't really understand. Hope someone can help clarify. | Girlfiend is suddenly doing things she has hated in the past because they were boring and doesn't like the people. |
t3_2to8pb | relationships | Me [51 /F] have been single for 11 yrs now. Not a cuddle, kiss or handhold. How do I get out of this? | So 11 yrs ago my son was 6 months old and my partner and I broke up. It was my fault, in part, and his in others but that is by the way.
A lot has happened since then, moving close to Mum to nurse her through breast cancer (she died), being a single mum, losing my job through depression.
To cut a long story short, I am now hale and healthy and self sufficient as regards money (substitute teacher) but so out of the scene I don't know what to do. I run Cub Scouts, work etc but socialize little as I have few friends because I have spent so much time caring for others and have limited funds. Everyone I know is at least 15 yrs younger than me and happily in a relationship.
I tried on line dating a year ago but everyone in my age range is so fat/bald/staid I could not find a single person I liked the look of. I think I need to meet a person and develop a relationship first because the photos just make me think of my Dad and yeuurgh to that.
BUT I need advice. I mean last time I was in a relationship anyone who shaved/epilated in the pubic area was a porn star or very kinky. Please give me advice on how it is out there now and what do I do | Out of the dating scene so long I have NO IDEA what to do and need help. Also have never removed hair 'down there' so do not know what to do about THAT!! |
t3_4mpbbc | relationships | Me [25 F] with my fiancè [26 M] of 5 years. I'm unhappy and don't know how to break up. | I know many people would say, "just break up if you aren't happy." But I don't feel like it's that simple.
We get along well. He's kind and devoted. What's more, we've weathered many hardships together as a team.
The problem:
I know passion in relationships tends to fade after a couple of years. But we've never had it in the first place. I don't think he's ever been passionate about anything. I used to be okay with this until relatively recently.
I've felt a definite "spark" with a few other men in the past few months. I could never cheat on my fiancè, but I can't say I haven't been tempted.
We can't have mutually engaging conversations, because our interests don't really overlap at all. His hobbies consist of playing games and watching other people play games on YouTube. I don't like playing games with him because I suck at it and would rather be doing something more "productive." He won't play music or make art with me because it makes him feel insecure.
I've tried breaking up with him before, with the reason that I need more independence and want to know what it's like to be on my own. This was true, and still is. But I never stick to it, and let myself be talked into "working on the relationship."
Whenever I consider breaking up for good, I get seriously worried about him. He has no friends. He's a little emotionally unstable. I care about the guy, and I know that losing this relationship might upset him more than it would most people.
Am I selfish for wanting to leave a partner that's perfectly good to me? How can I do this while causing the least amount of pain possible? | My relationship with my fiancè has always been lukewarm, but friendly and companionable. I know I don't want to marry him. How do I break up in the kindest possible way? |
t3_245tk1 | relationships | Me [24 M] Girl [23/F] I have been seeing for almost 2 months isn't ready to be exclusive but wants to meet my parents? | Throwaway for obvious reasons
-------------
So i have been seeing this girl for nearly two months. We have been on the road to a possible relationship just not hitting the home stretch yet. We have already have had sex, and we are in that dating phase, but being intimate with each other consistently.
I recently asked her about being exclusive and she told me she needed to think about it (I took this as a bad sign), and sure enough I find out that she recently got out of a serious relationship a few months ago and that while she likes me a lot, she isn't ready to jump into a relationship with me as she needs time. I understand and respect her decision.
So afterwards we text like we normally do and I say we should cuddle up on my warm patio when my house is empty so we have privacy. She then asks me if I didn't want her to meet my parents and I joke that I haven't even properly introduced myself to her parents and she says "One day". I am surprised because my biggest fear is her meeting my parents and my parents assuming we are together when we aren't exclusive. | been seeing a girl for nearly 2 months. Found out she recently got out of a serious relationship. Isn't ready to be exclusive with me, but wants to meet my parents, when I have no idea how I would introduce her. |
t3_38ak21 | tifu | TIFU by crashing CEO's car. | Okay so it was actually 10 years ago. The CEO reminded me.
Being me, the 17 year old Cadet on just his 3rd day in the office. I am asked to run some errands by the department manager and he hands me some keys to a random car. To me everything was a flashy blur as a green faced n00b to the workforce.
Halfway through the errands run and I back the car into a concrete wall causing many damages, wow.
I sweat bullets and can barely breathe on the way back to office.
I confess my sins and it turns out I was driving the CEO's 4 day old car. I got heckled for 11 months.
Then came the christmas party, I was drunk and sick of the heckling, tried to fight CEO. Kept my job but earnt the nickname Rocky throughout our industry.
10 years later I still have the job and heckle the CEO on a daily basis for all kinds of things. Today is the 10 year anniversary of said fuck up and CEO had to remind me. | Crashed CEOs 4 day old car on my first week on the job as a 17 year old. Tried to fight CEO 11 months later. Still have job 10 years on. |
t3_p1sla | travel | Should I bring a laptop backpacking through S-America? | My boyfriend and I are going to spend a year traveling through Central- and S-America, and we're trying to decide whether we want to bring a laptop along.
My laptop is a 1.5 y/o MacBook pro, and I'm not too keen on having it stolen or damaged. We have a history of taking a lot of pictures and videos while traveling so being able to store, sort and backup massive amounts of photos is a must. The idea of editing HD videos on the road and post them on our blog, along with photos, is also appealing.
Our DSLR camera probably makes us targets for thieves regardless of the computer, we plan to budget, and we are nature lovers so we will probably spend a lot of time outside of cities. Our other option would be to buy a small netbook, and while having the pros of being smaller, lighter, and not worth as much as the MacBook, it might not be able to handle photo and video editing. But if we're looking at the risk of having the computer stolen while we're still in Mexico, well...
What does /r/travel think, especially those of you who have some experience with backpacking in S-America and/or taking shitloads of photos? | Should we bring a fancy laptop backpacking in S-America, or opt for a netbook (or no laptop) instead? |
t3_ysyr6 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the most embarrassing thing you did as a kid and didn't tell anyone? Did you end up having a worse outcome than if you actually told someone? | I'll start
When I was smaller (around 7 or 8. Maybe way off. I don't actually recall my age. At all) My sister was having her room redecorated or something. I spotted one of her posters on an armchair in the corner of the loungeroom, face down. I was a curious child. So I went over and investigated. Being alone in the room, I thought I would try something.
I looked at my surroundings and made sure no one was there whatsoever, peeled the blu-tac off the back of the poster and stuck it riiiight up my nose. Then pulled it back out again. I found it quite amusing, so I did it again, and again, and again.
It gets better.
It got stuck and I freaked out so much. I had a mild panic attack and decided not to speak a word to anyone out of embaressment. I kept my word to myself.
A couple of years later, after falling ill many times with infections, mum decided on getting my tonsils removed
Everyone (even my GP) thought it was an issue regarding my tonsils
So, we went on with the procedure. I didn't even know what was happening, infact I think I forgot all about the blu-tac by then. I erased it from my memory or I may have thought it fell out in my sleep or something.
Nope. Not the case
As I was having surgery done, AFTER the removing of my tonsils they cleaned out my nasal passage and sinus', and out popped a piece of blu-tac, so I'm told. I woke up from surgery and they showed me a little urine cup with a dirty piece of what appeared to be a giant booger. After a quick observation I realised what it was. Blu-Tac | Underwent surgery as a small child just cause I didn't want to go through embarrassment and didn't even know about it |
t3_vk6nl | AskReddit | Girls of reddit: I need help in convincing a girl I love her. | I'm not going to lie. I used to be a man who played girls. I was a player. I regret it and wish I never was. Everything changed this year though. I've known this girl since 7th grade (10 years by now) so she knows how I am with women. A few months ago, I was alone with this girl on a small hill, we were talking and having a good time. Suddenly, she laughed and smiled, and I realized I love this girl. I may have never felt love before, but I know I am in love with her. I told her how I feel, however she doesn't believe me. She tells me that I'm just going to find another girl and move on sooner or later. How do I convince her how I feel? | used to be a player, fell in love with best friend, doesn't believe me when I say how I feel. |
t3_2dl5tx | relationship_advice | [22/M] My girlfriend [20/F] is really bi-curious, and has the opportunity to experiment with a lady. Halp? | **Boring Backstory** My girlfriend has been openly bi-curious since the start of our relationship (very curious, like almost certainly bi) and I'm reasonably curious as well, though not to the same extent. We've always been very comfortable with us both experimenting with the same sex in the form of makeouts and stuff at parties/when we're out and it's something that is generally a turn-on for both of us. She's been interested in experimenting with a lady, and it's something I support with the view that it sucks to have to repress that, and it's an experience I want her to be able to have.
**Current Situation** So she's on the other side of the country for a while at the moment, working on a temporary job for a month, and she's met a girl there that may well be interested in experimenting before their time there is out (in a couple weeks).
The initial revelation kinda made my stomach turn slightly, but the more I think about it/type the more okay I'm starting to feel.
I know we're both pretty heavily invested in this relationship and we've been through a lot of shit (nothing relationship-based, all illnesses and other people being horrible) including periods of long-distance stuff and held together pretty damn well.
Has anyone else here been through stuff like this? Got any advice or anything? I fluctuate so wildly between feeling uneasy and being totally okay. | Bi-curious couple, M/F, F more curious, F has opportunity to sleep with girl, previously said I was okay with it when discussed previously at length, conflicted! |
t3_53gv0p | relationships | My[24 f] friend [23 f] started treating me badly. | I love my friend, Sara, but recently she started treating me like shit, especially when we are in a group of people. She's only nice to me when we are alone together. It only started recently. She would also intentionally make me feel like the third wheel by leaving me out of conversations, and when I ask her about what she was talking about, she would give me a dirty look and say, "it's nothing, you don't need to know." It's not even anything personal, she would show everyone in the group a picture or something on her phone and not me. things like that.
for example, We would always meet at her house, and take one car to get food or whatever, and when I sit in the front seat with her, she wouldn't say a word to me but talk to the person sitting in the back seat, but when her friend, Dana, is sitting in the front seat, all she would do is talk to her. never include me in anything.
She would also point out my flaws in an embarrassing way. Since she doesn't have a car, can't afford one, I'd take her places every other Tuesday for the past few months, because I'm a good friend and a push over. I kept asking her for directions, and she would say, "You are so bad at directions. I'm surprised you could even drive to my house" AND "How are you this retarded." I even told her, "If You had to drive me everywhere you would do the same thing!" She told me, "It's different. My area is easier."
I don't know what to do. Am I going crazy? I feel like I'm over exaggerating, and being a pussy, but I seriously get bad vibes from her, at times. We're suppose to go to a 3 day camp out at a concert, and I already bought a ticket months ago. I'm thinking of selling it, but the concert is only a week or so away. Should I sell my ticket? Is her behavior normal? | My friend started treating me like shit, and is only nice to me when it's just the two of us. She's completely different when she's in a group. |
t3_4lst5v | Advice | Depressed and lost all motivation - please help | I'll try to keep this post as short as possible. So basically I'm graduating from high school in about two weeks. I've been spending the last month or so (ever since extracurriculars/homework load started decreasing) lying in bed watching TV. I know I should get up and go do things (and I do occasionally) but that never makes me feel better and I always end up right back where I started.
I committed to a college for next fall but it costs a lot of money and lately I've been feeling like I really want to go to a different college. I didn't apply to this college, and I'm regretting that and feel like I want a do-over of the past year.
I've been thinking about taking a year off so I can reapply to colleges and choose some better ones this time, so I started looking for jobs abroad. I really really want to go to college though, just not the one I picked. I would go for a year and then try to transfer, but it costs so much that that's not really an option.
What do I do? I need to do something next year, and I also need something to do in the meantime so I don't just sit here watching TV and hating my life. | Depressed and bored, feel like I've picked the wrong college for next fall, don't know what to do with my life. |
t3_3034a1 | tifu | TIFU by driving too fast in a roundabout | So today my mom asked me to go grab some milk. I drove over to the grocery store and grabbed two glass bottles of it and went on my merry way. Now, there are probably 7 or 8 roundabouts in between my house and the grocery store. Being the genius I am, I decided to go REALLY fast through not one, not two, but every single one of them. My car was lurching side to side and making all sorts of weird noises that can only lead to a hefty mechanic's bill. When I got home, of course one of the bottles had exploded all over my trunk. Literally all of the fabric was soaked with milk. I tried to clean it up, but it was so far deep that I knew I had already lost the battle. I hung up my shop vac in defeat and trudged inside knowing that my once lovely smelling car will now have an odor of spoiled dairy product in the morning. | Bought glass bottles of milk, put them in the trunk, drove like a moron, and got what I deserved. |
t3_44wvyh | relationships | My date [19 F] is going back to her home country. What should I [24 M] do? | I just got a call from the girl I'm dating. I know her for two weeks. She is going back to her home country. I told her I was very sad to hear that. She isn't planning to come back. I tried to reach her again and talk to her. I sent her text messages and she didn't respond. I called her and couple of hours later she called me back. This is what happened:
I asked couple of questions like if she is coming back. Why she is going. And couple of other questions. At the end of the conversation I asked her maybe I will come to Italy in the summer and she (nervously) giggled. I couldn't decide if it was nervousness or something else. Then we talked about couple of other things and I said ciao and she also said ciao and the conversation ended.
I want to keep in touch with this girl but I don't know what to do. She sends me mixed signals. Sometimes she doesn't respond to my messages and calls and today she called me back to say good bye. By the way I asked her if she got my text messages and she said "yes". I said "I'm asking because I didn't get a response" and she giggled again. | Girl is giving mixed signals. What should I do? I really like this girl and I want to keep in touch with her. |
t3_3ui3x8 | relationships | Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] have both fucked up, but have left everything up in the air. | Alright so a couple months ago me and my girlfriend of three years hit a huge bump before I went off to college. I was spying on her Tumblr account (as well as Facebook and Twitter) as in I was logged in so I could see everything (feel free to call me out on that).
Anyways, one day on her Tumblr one of those "Daddy" characters (yes we are kinky like that) started sending her personal messages and SHE ended up asking HIM for his Kik! Now I wasn't logged into her Kik account, so I never got to see what was messaged. I confronted her on it and we were in a huge fight where I was made out as the bad guy for being logged in to her accounts.
Now she claims that she never sent him nudes or talked dirty or anything, but I am still very skeptical. She claims that she only messaged him in order to receive advice. I haven't been logged into anything since the confrontation. Now my main concern is do I believe her? It has been months and I still feel it hanging over our relationship. I consider this cheating if she was talking dirty/sending nudes to some fucking stranger. She deleted the Kik account and the messages are gone. | I was logged into my girlfriends Tumblr account and saw her give her Kik out to a "Daddy" and when confronted she said she didn't talk dirty/send nudes. Messages are gone. |
t3_246vqk | Advice | Need advice on whether i should go to community college or a big university | To start I'm a senior in high school from virginia. I generally got pretty shitty grades in high school (I'm graduating with a 2.9) and applied to three schools. Two were "reach schools" that I didn't stand a chance getting into and obviously got denied. The third school, West Virginia, I got accepted.
Now, WVU is a good school, but it had a very negative stigma around it being for inbreds and people that only want to party. I do want to party but not like that's a deciding factor where I want to go. I personally believe I CAN do better than wvu, but I'm sure I'd fit in there.
So if your unfamiliar with community colleges, basically if I get good grades, my high school record gets erased and colleges see I'm a 4.0 college student and can more than likely get accepted to very good schools.
So what I'm getting at is my brother graduated from college 2 years ago and is in the navy and living in San Diego. He Is moving to a big house on the beach with a roommate and really REALLY wants me to move to San Diego and go to community college and live with him and then transfer to a good school next year.
In case you've never been to San Diego, it's beautiful. Literally perfect. The weather girls food everything.
So is missing out on the 'freshman experience' worth potentially going to a good school in a year. I really feel like I'll be missing out on a great year of my life.
Also money isn't an issue. Well kind of it is. My parents are giving me one semester and if I fuck up I have to pay them back (wvu would be 14k, Community would be 2.5k)
I'd also have to work a little next year just to have money to pay for stuff like going out to dinner if that makes sense. | should I miss out on the typical freshman party dorm living experience at WVU to live with my brother in beautiful San Diego, go to community college and transfer next year to a better school |
t3_35c1k7 | Advice | Deciding to take a new job while in college? | Right now I am going to school full-time as well as working a retail job with days off for school - I am working full time as well.
Recently I got the opportunity to apply to a salaried job, I had a phone interview today and have a second one next week. Instead of keeping an easy retail job, the job I applied for would require me to make appointments for installations, however there is a monthly quota I would need to meet. This isn't sales, but I would have to make a certain amount of appointments in order to keep the job.
Also, with my retail job I have the days off I need for school. With this other job, it's M-F 9-5, and I would have to take online classes in order to finish my associates degree.
Part of me wants to take the job if I'm offered it because I would be able to pay off my car loan as well as current student loans quickly, but wouldn't have the ability to take classes on campus.
I don't like my current job, but it offers me the days off I need, yet I am going to be behind in loans and financially.
I don't know what to do. Can someone PLEASE offer advice?
Thank you. | different job with better pay but no time for class on campus, or keep current retail job with MUCH less pay, but have the time to take classes on campus. |
t3_k0r6a | AskReddit | College art students: Why are you studying art? How has your experiences matched/failed to match your expectations? | This morning in my upper division life drawing class I had an apostrophe. I'm not a "good" artist and I'm not particulary interested in becoming a "good" artist. All I really like to do is try new, seemingly abnormal ideas and theories and see where they lead. I have no idea why I seemed to relate or think this limited to the fine arts. It's also strange, I realize, that anytime I had a cool idea of sorts, my parents/friends/teachers always said "you should be an artist!" I'm 3/4 done with my graphic design degree: too late to study something else. I'm now thinking about all the other things I was interested in majoring in: would they have been more worth it? Psychology? History? Too late for now, I suppose. Can any other college folk relate to any of thoughts? Surely I'm not alone here. | TIL I don't much want to "be an artist", 3/4 through my degree. Can anyone else relate? Experiences? |
t3_3tbgps | relationships | How am I [19 M] am going to tell this girl [23 F] That I like her, she broke up with her ex 5 months ago and is still hurt about it. | I don't know what to do. I have never been in a relationship before and genuinely never planned to but I understand this girl so much, we have a very similar parenting background, similar interests and we both went through a period of depression. I don't want to sound cheesy but I know I can make this girl happy because we have so much common interests. I just don't know if I should be telling her that right now since she is in pain. Her parents don't really care about her and she met this boy she thought she could trust and ended up treating her like garbage, 5 months on and she's still hurt. I met her about 2 months ago so I never met the guy in question. I really feel good about her though, I want to make her happy but I'm just scared that I will scare her off right now and if I wait any longer she'll just consider me a friend. I've searched for so long on the internet but the most common thing I've read is to just let her go. I don't want that. I met a few girls these past few weeks who wanted to make out with me at the club but I just straight up refused them because all I could think of was her. I'm ready to do something I've never done before and tell a girl I like her, because for the first time I feel that is true. I just don't know when. I've never felt so right about someone more than her. How am I going to tell her though?? | I want to tell her I like her but am scared I'll scare her off since she's still hurt about her break up with her ex. What should I do?? |
t3_3hduc5 | relationships | I [40 F] have been with my wonderful boyfriend [37 M] for a year. It is the best relationship I have ever had, but something tells me this is not "it". Don't know what to do. | I am hoping people who can relate or have some good insight can respond.
For some context, I was independent and single for the longest time (several years). I haven't been in *that* many relationships, but I'm not completely inexperienced either. I spent a lot of time overseas during my singledom, established solid social networks, made a lot of friends, met a lot of people and had an active social life. Although I was definitely fine single and didn't feel lonely, there were times when I really craved a life partner and knew that when I was in a partnership, I would want to feel loved, appreciated, understood, desired and supported.
Fast forward several years and I finally met someone who makes me feel loved, appreciated, understood, desired and supported. He is the best boyfriend, so loving, so caring, so supportive and so committed. He puts me before anything and I know that he loves me. I know that we could have a future together and that we could work together as a team through good and bad. I feel myself and at home with him. The relationship is very easy.
So where I feel like an asshole, is the fact that there is something in me which feels like this just isn't "it" despite the fact that all I described above is what I would want in a relationship: love, commitment, loyalty, trust, respect, etc. I want so much to feel like this is "it" because all the ingredients are there for the type of relationship I want. I don't know if this will come my way again in this lifetime.
Can anyone relate to this at all? | In a lovely relationship with a wonderful person, but deep down inside my gut is telling me this isn't "it". What to do? |
t3_2bga6w | relationships | My male (30/m) workout buddy desperately needs training in the gym. What do I (28/f) do? | My male friend (30/m) and I have started working out together, which is great. We've been friends for about a year. He heard I had started to hit the gym and he wanted to tag along. The biggest problem is that he has NO idea what he's doing in the gym. He's doing weird shit with dumbbells that aren't even exercises, and...I'm embarrassed. People are watching him fumble with these weights and it's not a pretty sight. I cringe when people put two and two together and realize we're there as workout buddies. I hate that I'm embarrassed!
I've tried asking gently if he wants coaching, but he blows me off and says he has his routine. Some of that I think is because I'm a woman, and some is because I'm new to lifting myself. But I've done lots of research and reading to come up with something that works for me. I thought about hiring a personal trainer for us, but my gym doesn't have any training like that.
The last thing I want is to act like a know-it-all or overstep my boundaries with him, but I'm afraid he's going to get hurt. He's already injured his back attempting to weirdly squat with dumbbells. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can approach this while keeping his ego relatively intact? | workout buddy (30/m) is doing weird workout routine at the gym and I'm scared he's going to hurt himself. How should I handle? |
t3_506ap4 | Advice | It's my first day abroad in the UK and I'm already freaking out | I don't know if this is the appropriate subreddit but I just need a few words of wisdom or someone to tell me to get my shit together.
I'm 20, a college student studying in London this semester from NYC, and I don't know anyone in the same study abroad program as me. Like not a single person.
Many people in this particular program have much more money than I do, and I feel like that's going to contribute to me not being able to go eat dinner with people= me not making friends= me being lonely/depressed. Also, in the land of good alcohol, I actually don't drink alcohol and I don't know if that's going to fare well. I feel like I've been the underdeveloped college student as I never go to college parties, clubbing, bar-hopping- I do have a few close friends however. | how do I talk to people/present myself as a person when I probably can't even hang out with them without looking like an idiot. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.