Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Squidward: Fine! Now what? | No peeking. |
Squidward: Oh brother. | Okay! You can open your eyes now! |
Squidward: Oh this is so stuuuuuu... ...pid. It's gone! Where did you put the trash? | I put it in... |
Squidward: Know what? Don't care! The trash is gone. Thanks, SpongeBob. I hate you a little less now. | Squidward, that... that's a beautiful thing to say! |
Squidward: Well, I don't know how you did it, but thank you for getting rid of all that trash. They'll have that statue of me built in no time! My house! Officer John: Is this yours? Squidward: Yes. Officer John: Tch-tch-tch, some people never learn. | I am angry? Squidward, why are you angry? |
Squidward: SpongeBob. | Yes. |
Squidward: What's this? | Your garbage. |
Squidward: Where's my house? | On top of your garbage. The dump was closed. So I bought it here. |
Squidward: How? | Like this. Do you wanna try? |
Squidward: Of all the garbage that comes out of your mouth, this is the least annoying. | Hey, Squidward... |
Squidward: Wait! Wait! Zip it! I have an idea! Here stand in this. See ya sucker! Officer John: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants? Squidward: Neptune no! Officer John: Uh-huh. Oh you got your kicks out of putting trash in other people's bins, eh? Squidward: They were gonna build a statue of me! | Oh, a statue, eh? Hey, Squidward! Look! |
Squidward: What is that?! | Your very own statue! |
Squidward: Really?! Garbage. I'm made of garbage. | You sure are! |
Squilliam: Great job, SpongeBob, you even captured his smell. The scent of failure. My glorious statue! Officer John: This is your statue? Squilliam: It was. Squidward: Ha! Thanks, SpongeBob! | Oh, I'm bored. |
Patrick: Hmmm... Interesting. Me too! Let's go look for something to do in Old Man Squidward's shed! | Old Man Squidward's shed?! |
Patrick: Yyyeeeeeep! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooohhh! What's that?! Patrick: What is it? | I don't know, Patrick. |
Squidward: Ahh. La-da-dee-la-da-dum-la-da-doo! SpongeBob and Patrick: | It's Old Man Squidward! |
Patrick: Hide! Squidward: Where's my trowel? Patrick: SpongeBob? | Yes, Patrick? |
Patrick: Is this a trowel? | Yes, Patrick! |
Squidward: Oh, here it is. SpongeBob and Patrick: | Don't hurt us, Squidward! |
Patrick: We're bored! | We just wanted to play with your... ...whatever this thing is. |
Squidward: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! You morons would probably... You want to play with my lawnmower? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Squidward: Hmmm... | Thanks for letting us mow your lawn, Squidward! Ahhh! My patty flipping hand! |
Squidward: Knock yourselves out! The Flying Dutchman: Excuse me, Davy, I've got my first blind date in 400 years, and I've got to look good. It's a little torn. Of course this was the shirt I was buried in. Ahhh, memories! Bleah! Okay, that one's a bit ripe. Stained. Too itchy! Hey, there she is! I've been saving this beauty for a special occasion! Sssss! Looking good! Who dares-- Who-- --disturb-- --The Flying-- --Dutchman?! My beard! Hey! Who dares disturb The Flying Dutchman?! | You're not The Flying Dutchman! |
Patrick: Yeah, The Flying Dutchman has a beard! The Flying Dutchman: I don't look like The Flying Dutchman, because... You morons cut off my beard! | Ooh! It makes you look a thousand years younger! |
The Flying Dutchman: I don't want to look younger! I hate youth! I'll probably get pimples again. Patrick: Your beard will just grow back. The Flying Dutchman: You know nothing about me facial hair. It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back! | I'm sorry. But, we don't know what it's like to be ghosts. |
The Flying Dutchman: Well, now's the time you've learned. Until my beard grows back, I'm going to turn you two fools into ghosts. Prepare to be ghostified! Patrick: Ghostified? That's not even a real word. The Flying Dutchman: Okay, you're having too much fun. . Patrick: We're mermaids! The Flying Dutchman: You're ghosts! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! | We're ghosts! Yaayyy! |
The Flying Dutchman: This isn't really working out the way I imagined. SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Squuiiidwaaarrrd! | It's SpongeBob. |
Patrick: And Patrick! We're ghoooooooosts! Ooohhhh! | We're going to haunt you! Foreeever! Oooooohhh—! Well, that killed the mood. |
Squidward: I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawnmower. | Good night, Patrick. Being a ghost can sure tire ya out! |
Patrick: Good night, ghost buddy! | That's odd. However shall I get in? That's handy! I am beat! Well, I don't have to take the stairs! Ah. . Hey, Patrick. I didn't sleep so good last night. |
Patrick: I didn't sleep at all. I can see through my eyelids. My eyelids! | I'm late for work! |
Patrick: My eyelids... | Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'm here! |
Harold: Ahh! Mermaid! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're late! Why are you bright green, and what happened to your legs? Squidward: He's a ghost, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: A ghost, eh? Can you still cook Krabby Patties? | Can do, Mr. Krabs! |
Mr. Krabs: Then get your Captain's Quarters in the kitchen! | Aye, aye, old living employeer! |
Mr. Krabs: Ewww. | La la la la! I can't cook Krabby Patties! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore, Patrick! |
Patrick: I don't either. I can't even eat anything! Food just goes right through me! Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Bleah! / Yuck! Patrick: Maybe the weird hairless man will change us back? | Yeah! Let's go see the Flying Dutchman! |
The Flying Dutchman: Well, at least I still have my personality. SpongeBob and Patrick: Change us back! / Change us back! / We don't like being ghosts! / I don't want to be a ghost! Change us back! / Change us back! Change us back! / We don't like to be a lie again! | Please, Mr. Dutchman, we can't take it! Constantly moaning and groaning! |
Patrick: Invisible to the world! | Living without a soul! |
Patrick: It's miserable! | How could anyone live like this?! |
The Flying Dutchman: Hmm, I guess you feel my pain. Well, I'll lift the curse from ya. | Hey! We're still ghosts! |
The Flying Dutchman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The curse will wear off when my beard grows back. | But we want to be normal now! |
The Flying Dutchman: Well, I want to be on my date now! But, you knuckleheads loused that up, too! | We're still ghosts, because you can't go on your date? |
Patrick: And you can't go on your date because you're ugly? Both: Makeover! The Flying Dutchman: Thanks, fellas! I love the new beard. Well, I'm off on my date. Don't wait up. Patrick: I don't get it... Narrator: Several months later... | Well, here we are several months later! I wonder how the Flying Dutchman's doing on his date! |
The Flying Dutchman: I can't do it! She wants to marry me! I ain't the marrying type! Aaaahhh! Template:EpisodeTr/58b Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the delicious Krabby Patty and its super-secret recipe. Mr. Krabs: Attention, Krusty Krab crew! All hands report immediately! | Fry cook SpongeBob reporting, sir! |
Squidward: What's all the yelling about? Mr. Krabs: Today is the 25th anniversary of the first time me arch-enemy Plankton ever tried to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. Plankton: Can I have the secret formula? Mr. Krabs: No. Plankton: Okay. Mr. Krabs: But he was persistent! Plankton: Pretty please? Mr. Krabs: Uh-uh. Mr. Krabs: He used disguises! Super science! Civil disobedience! And I always came out on top! Squidward: Fascinating. Mr. Krabs: But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open! You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. Robot: What a quaint restaurant. I think I will sample their wares. | Ooh, how weird! A machine made to look like a customer. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob. Why don't you go hose out the men's room? | With pleasure, sir! |
Mr. Krabs: I'll take this one. Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I help you? Robot: Yes, please. I'd like an order of chili coral bits. Mr. Krabs: You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty? Robot: No, thank you. Will this cover it? Mr. Krabs: Uh, sure. Here you go. Robot: Good day. Mr. Krabs: Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks. Well, at least his money's good. Plankton: AHA! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar! Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Now hand over the secret Krabby Patty formula! Mr. Krabs: Or what? Plankton: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far. Mr. Krabs: Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move. Plankton: Curse you, Kra-a-aillllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Mr. Krabs: And now for the chaser. Plankton: You just wait, Krabs! Next time I'll... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a wife who understands. Karen: So? Tell me what happened. Plankton: I don't want to talk about it. Karen: Talking will make you feel better. Plankton: Leave me alone. Karen: That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Plankton the rock, Plankton the loner... Plankton: And she's off, ladies and gentlemen. Karen: You have to do everything yourself... Karen: ...and that's why everything you try ends up like this... and like this... and more recently, like this. Plankton: I'm a failure! Karen: It's not that bad! You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen... Plankton: Henchmen? Karen: Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who will do whatever you say. Plankton: I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language! Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!? Plankton: I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me. Karen: Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting. Sorry. Plankton: That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Plankton in the sea. The Plankton family has always been pushed around and stepped on. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Plankton family could be a real pain in the fanny! Krabs may think one Plankton is no problem, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand! But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Plankton family under one roof! Krabs won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million super-smart criminal masterminds! THEY'RE HERE! Welcome, brethren! Clem: Hey, look, everybody! It's cousin Plankton! All: Yee-haw! Plankton: I've been away from home longer than I thought. Clem: Well, howdy, cousin! Plankton: Uh... Clem: It's me, Clem. O' course, you remember Zeke, Rufus, Jeke, Billy Billy Bo-Illy Bonana Fanna Fo-Filly, Doug, Enos... ... Fletcher McGee, Rainchild, Zeke Junior... Plankton: Alright! I get it! ...I mean, uh, come inside. Make yourself at home. I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen. Clem: Golly, she sure is purdy, Sheldon. Karen: Sheldon?! Plankton: Yes, that's my first name. Karen: Sheldon? Plankton: Will you please-! Karen: Sorry! Plankton: All right, as I was saying... Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name. Karen: Okay, okay. I'm done. No more. Plankton: Good. Ahem, to continue. Only you can bring honor... ...and dignity... ...back to the Plankton name. For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for... AHA! Okay, that's enough! Karen: Sheldon! Ha Ha! Plankton: Bottom line: we invade the Krusty Krab so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think? Family Member 1: But what's in it for us? Plankton: Well, what do you want? Family Member 2: Gawrsh. Can I get a new string for my banjo? Family Member 3: And another boot to match this'n? Family Member 4: And some more memory for my laptop! Clem: And what about root beer? All: Root beer!?!?! Plankton: Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink! Victory, thy name is Plankton! Mr. Krabs: Well, Mr. Squidward, it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen eye or antennae of ol' Plankton for hours. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up for... Plankton: Attention, Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking. Mr. Krabs: What?! Plankton: I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug? Plankton: What army? What army?! Look around you, Krabs! Mr. Krabs: You planted grass? Plankton: Grass?!? Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. You'll never get away with it, Plankton. Plankton: You're right. The pipes are much too narrow. Besides, what I really want is the Krabby Patty formula. Mr. Krabs: Well, you might as well forget it. The formula is locked away in me safe, and I'll never give ya the combination. Plankton: Silence! I think you'll find we're more than capable of figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, boys? That's it, a little to the left... Mr. Krabs: Curse you, Plankton, and your ability to join together to form a working human ear! Plankton: Hot dog! Yes. It's mine! The formula's mine. After all these years, it's finally mine! Let it be known that on this day, I, Sheldon J. Plankton, single-handedly overthrew the Krusty Krab! Family: Ahem. Plankton: Eh, and, of course, I had a little help from the family. Mr. Krabs: Plankton, wait. You can't look at the formula. Plankton: Begging won't help. Mr. Krabs: I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth. There are some things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes. Plankton: Eye. Mr. Krabs: Eye. Plankton: I don't care. Drum roll please! Finally, after all these years, I'm about to find out what makes a Krabby Patty taste so good! The secret recipe for one Krabby Patty is... a pinch of salt...! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! Wait! Plankton: ...Three teaspoons of chopped onions...! Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya...! Plankton: ...A cup of love...! Mr. Krabs: Don't do it! Plankton: ...mixed together with the most important ingredient of all... four heaping pounds of freshly ground...! ...Plankton?! Mr. Krabs: ...I warned ya. Plankton: Mr. Krabs: Hey. Why ain't you running? Clem: Well, I can't read! Mr. Krabs: Get out of here! | Hey, guys. Did I miss anything? |
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, is this really the secret ingredient for the Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: Of course not! And Plankton will probably figure that out and be back again to find out what the real formula is. But don't worry, boys, the formula's safe from harm. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place, a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out. Squidward: Let me guess. It's at home, under your mattress. Mr. Krabs: Curse you, Squidwaaaaaaaaard! | Oh, boy! Jellyfishing. I can't wait! Can you, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick? |
Patrick: Did you say something? | Uh, I said... Ow! |
Patrick: I'm not sure how to respond to that. | Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! |
Barnacle Boy: Hey! We're stuck here, remember? Mermaid Man: Why is that? Barnacle Boy: Because you forgot to fill up the boat mobile before we left. See? | Hey, heroes! Is there anything we can do? That's a heavy piece of nothing... So, is that it? |
Barnacle Boy: Yes. Uh, thank you, boys. We don't usually do this, but in term for pushing the invisiboat up all those hills, there's something I'd like you to see. But you must promise to not touch anything. SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay! Wow! | Oh, the magic claw from episode 1582! Man Ray's power glove! |
Patrick: Ooh! A pair of binoculars. Mermaid Man: Yes, boys, this is our locker of memories. It contains... Uh... I can't remember. Barnacle Boy: It contains all the memorabilia up from our super-human adventures. Patrick: Wow. Hey, SpongeBob, check it out! | The Dirty Bubble's bubble wand! |
Barnacle Boy: Correct! SpongeBob and Patrick: Barnacle Boy: Scared, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick : Mmm-hmm. Barnacle Boy: Well, don't be. Mermaid Man: And as long as no one touches anything, there's nothing here to be scared of. SpongeBob : Understood. Barnacle Boy: And this is our time machine. This device allows us to transport into the future or past at a date or destination of our choosing. SpongeBob and Patrick : Ooh! Barnacle Boy: Unfortunately, the consequences of altering the order of history are so dangerous, we've chosen it to leave it alone, so you mustn’t touch... Patrick : Hey, this snack machine took my quarter! I want my crunchy munchities! Barnacle Boy: No! Patrick : Stupid box! You really gotta get that thing fixed. Barnacle Boy: You fool! You realize what you've done?! Patrick: Well, I lost a quarter. SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy: | Oh, where are we? It can't be! Bikini Bottom has at least 39 people living here! |
Barnacle Boy: Maybe as you knew it, but this is a different Bikini Bottom of another time. Maybe if you've hadn't touched the time machine like we told you, Patrick, we wouldn't be in this mess! Hopefully, we hadn't changed anything with our presence. . | Oh! Everything looks so old-fashioned. |
Man Ray: I'm ready to rule the world and its riches! With this weapon, nothing can stop me! Young Mermaid Man: That's what you think. Man Ray: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?! Young Mermaid Man: Sorry, Man Ray. But my stalwart companion Barnacle Boy and I beg to differ with you. Young Barnacle Boy: You've tangled with the wrong end of the fishhook of justice, Man Ray. Young Mermaid Man: Now prepare for a heaping helping of quick drying tartar sauce. Mermaid Man: Wow, our bodies were so tight. Barnacle Boy: What went wrong? Young Barnacle Boy: Jumpin' jellyfish, Mermaid Man, what happened to the tartar sauce? Patrick: Good thing that was around. I was starving. Young Mermaid Man: Curious. Could I have forgotten to refill it? Man Ray: Patrick: This is creeping me out! SpongeBob 1: Patrick, what about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Patrick: I don't got time for that! Mermaid Man: Where are you going, boys? Patrick: I just want to go home! Barnacle Boy: When are we gonna have those two re-classified as villains? Mermaid Man: They left us here! What are we going to do? Eh, I'm sure it'll all work out. Young Mermaid Man: Don't worry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are always here to help the elderly. There's something familiar about these two, Barnacle Boy. I just can't put my flipper on it. Young Barnacle Boy: Hey, neat hat! Barnacle Boy: Thanks, I... uh... Young Mermaid Man: Let’s get these poor defenseless seniors out of harm's way. SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick: Well, that's more like it. Back in good old present day Bikini Bottom. | Yes, Patrick, we're all born in our old place in time. Hello, fellow citizen. Hello, Squilliam. |
Squilliam: Man Ray is great. | Yeah. Must be taking care of his community service obligations. |
Patrick: That'll teach him to jaywalk. | Say, uh, Patrick, do you notice anything different about our fair city? |
Patrick: Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the clatter of prison chains. | I said, is there something odd about Bikini Bottom since we got back? |
Patrick: No. But yes! Just look at the giant medicine billboard! It's missing a bolt on the bottom right corner! | Even worse than that, Patrick. The police got new uniforms! |
Patrick: Oh, no! What did they do with those old ones?! | And yikes! What happened to the Krusty Krab?! The designated area where you are permitted by Man Ray, your ruler, to obtain sandwiches using Man Ray dollars? Do you see the under-lying tragedy in all this? |
Patrick: I’m all out of Man Ray dollars? | No, Patrick. It means we somehow changed the course of history when we went to the past. And now, in this reality, Man Ray is ruler. Oh, we got to do something. |
Patrick: But what? | What any self-respecting citizen of the free world would do in a time of crisis. See if I still have a job! |
Man Ray: Hey, you’re not eating fast enough! | Excuse me, Squidw... |
Barnacle Boy: Yes? | Barnacle Boy? What are you doing here? |
Barnacle Boy: Just getting stuck in a wasted life. Mermaid Man: Order up! | Mermaid Man! He's wearing a hairnet! What happened? Why are the two greatest heroes ever stuck in this greasy spoon, not combating the evils of Man Ray? |
Mermaid Man: I lost the desire and the physique to fight long ago, kid. Flipping patties is so much easier on the joints when you're my age. | What about the younger Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Surely, they refused to surrender without a fight. |
Mermaid Man: You got spaghetti for brains, kid? We are the younger ones. The older ones... Bless their souls... have been immortalized in this very restaurant. | I am so sorry for your loss of... yourself. |
Barnacle Boy: I hate to break up the memorial service, but we're out of tartar sauce out here. Mermaid Man: Tartar sauce?! The topping that destroyed life as we knew it! If only my tartar sauce attack hadn't failed that day, we wouldn't be living in this wasteland! We're already out? Patrick: Yep. Chewy bits... Mermaid Man: I knew I recognize you from somewhere, you were there. And you ate that tartar sauce on that day! Do you realize what you’ve done?! | Sorry, Mermaid Man. We didn't mean to destroy your lives and everything you held dear. What do we say to try to make things right? With your help, of course. |
Mermaid Man: I'm not teaming up with you to do jack diddly squat! Besides, Man Ray had me by the neck! Oh, e-evil! | Does that mean the defeat was so traumatic that it has given Man Ray a stranglehold on your psyche? |
Mermaid Man : Barnacles, no! It means he put this electro-collar on me that won't allow me to leave the restaurant! | Oh. Let's get the nasty thing off of you. |
Mermaid Man: Haven't you two idiots done enough damage? | I can't get a good grip on it! I must need a better angle. Hold on. Sorry, sorry. Hey, Patrick, can you give me a hand here? |
Mermaid Man: Keep away from me! | Ta-daaa! You're free! Can we coax you and Barnacle Boy out of retirement to save the your universe? |
Mermaid Man: I suppose you’ve proven your medal, kid. But I'll have my eye on you two. Now let's pop that Dirty Bubble! | Actually, we're fighting Man Ray. |
Mermaid Man: Oh. Well, in that case, let the lighthouse of justice shine on Ray Man! SpongeBob 1: Okay, I suppose that's close enough. Back to the past, gents, just stop you from eating the tartar sauce again for the first time. Hmm. The First SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy: Man Ray: I am ready to rule the world and its riches! Young Mermaid Man: Not so fast, Man Ray! Young Barnacle Boy: We've got a little surprise for you. Second Old Mermaid Man: Keep your tongue out of the tartar sauce! Mermaid Man: Impostors! Second Old Mermaid Man: Who are you calling impostor, impostor? I must prevent our tartar sauce from being eaten by that fool! Mermaid Man: If I want to get near my tartar sauce I gotta to go through me first! Second Old Mermaid Man: I'm gonna make me eat those words! Mermaid Man: Bring it. Take this! I’ll never let you win. Second Old Mermaid Man: Oh, yes, I will. Young Mermaid Man: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy? Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled timeline, Mermaid Man. I- Man Ray: You old coots provided me the perfect distraction. Now prepare to be disappeared! Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper, you purveyor of pure evil, but, fortunately, we all know what happens to paper underwater. Barnacle Boy, the tartar sauce. Patrick 2: Wow! I've never eaten that much tartar sauce. Patrick 1: Yes, you have. Patrick 2: Well, it sure ain't sittin' right. Man Ray: Foolish mools. Once again, your bufoonery has given me victory! Oh, I'm going to savor this. It's not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy three times over! SpongeBob 2: Patrick, don’t eat the tartar sauce! Man Ray: You’re too late! Your fat friend beat you to it. Now, prepare to taste laser! So how... SpongeBob 4: I told you we had to go back farther! Man Ray: Uh... Third Mermaid Man: Up, up, and away! SpongeBob 5: Now, Patrick! Man Ray: I can't get my head around this. Where are they all coming from? Another machine? Second Man Ray: I took care of your blasted time machine! Man Ray: Uh! I got to sit down and think this through. Young Mermaid Man: Gotta! You've got plenty of time for thinking in the stony lonesome. Man Ray: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened here. Young Mermaid Man: It's pretty simple, really. You were defeated by a convoy of continuum-cruising crime stoppers. Thank you, SpongeBob and Patrick. Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You're welcome! SpongeBob 6 and Patrick 6 : Oh, hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello! One Other SpongeBob: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever. SpongeBob 7: Hey, how you doing? Seventh Patrick: We’re here. Eighth and Ninth SpongeBobs and Patricks: Oh, hi there! How you doing? Tenth SpongeBob and Patrick: Hello! Hello! Last SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh hi there! Hello! Hello! Karen: What do I owe the excessive volume of this giggling? Plankton: You may thank my new and original idea, darling. Free samples! Karen: New and original, my exhaust fan. Plankton: Okay, so I didn't invent the concept, but I have improved upon it by removing the only obstacle to chum's success! Karen: You mean the smell? Smell. Plankton: No. I mean getting the public to try some! Once everyone gets a taste of my delicious chum, they will tear this place apart to get some. Plus it's free, and who can resist free! Step right up for your free samples of delicious chum! Nat: Hey, what did he just say it was? Plankton: I just said they're free! Nat: Oh... I thought he said freaks. In that case... So glad I actually left my house today. Plankton: That's the spirit, people. Step on up, but please take your time and be orderly. I wanna savor this whole putting Krabs out of business. Business. Sally: What is it? Shubie: Oh, who cares silly-big-milly? It's free! Sally: Oh, it's going to be so good cause it's free! Plankton: Eat up. I have no idea that chum was this rotten. I better not be here when all this agony turns to anger. Nat: Hey, he's making a run for it! We can't let him get away with this! Let's get up and... get him. Patrick: Free samples. Yum! Frank: Hey, you!, I know you're in there! Plankton: It's not fair! If Krabs gave away free samples he wouldn't get this treatment! Karen: If Krabs gave away free samples, he probably won't poison people thus tarnishing the good name of his restaurant. Plankton: Yeah, I suppose you right, Karen. Free Krabby Patties! Step up, step up, you'll never get this chance again, folks! Harold: Free Krabby Patties?! Nat: Hey, what's all the hubble? Nazz: Oh, didn't ya hear? Someone's giving away free Krabby Patties! Plankton: That's it. Frank: Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you the same guy who was giving away those rotten chum samples before? Plankton: Oh, that wasn't me that was... uh... my... brother-in-law, yeah, er, Flankton. Lifeguard: Oh, okay. Plankton: Krabby Patties, anyone? | I'm off to work, off to work, getting ready for flipping. Those customers can't get enough Krabby Patties. Settle down folks: I'm here; I shall have your Krabby Patties before you shortly. |
Nat: You! Frank: You made those awful Krabby Patties what made my eyeballs fall out! | Mr. Krabs! |
Mr. Krabs: Over here boy. | What is going on out there? |
Mr. Krabs: The whole town has turned against me! And I have no idea why. Because the Krabby Patty is terrible. Krabby Patty? Terrible? How do those words even go together? | I don't know, but we have do something to turn this situation around. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're right. We have to do everything in our power to bring those customers back. We'll triple the prices. | Mr. Krabs, if you want to get customers in here, shouldn't we lower the prices? |
Mr. Krabs: Fine. How about that? I'm ruined! | Mr. Krabs, if you want your customers back, we're gonna need to take more extreme measures. |
Mr. Krabs: I'm all ears. | We simply give Krabby Patties away for fr- |
Mr. Krabs: Don't you say it, boy! | It's the only way, Mr. Krabs. Alright, sir, it's time. |
Mr. Krabs: Time? But it's too soon. I'm not ready to let them go free. | But you said to go ahead with the plan no matter how hard you fight me. |
Mr. Krabs: I don't remember saying anything like that. | I do. Free Krabby Patties! Get your totally and completely free upcharge Krabby Patties! |
Mr. Krabs: No! | It's for your own good, Eugene. Free Krabby Patties, come and get your free Krabby Patties! |
Mr. Krabs: Whew, uh, for a second. I thought we have to give away a ton of Krabby Patties, but it looks like free ain't even enough to jump start me business. Wait, free ain't even enough? Me business is doomed! Plankton: I can't really believe how well this is turning out for me today! | Hmm, looks, it's time to pull out the big guns. No one can resist the sweet sounds of a calliope. |
Shubie: Hey look, Billy, a calliope. | Squidward, here's your cup like we rehearsed. |
Squidward: I can't feel my legs. | Here let me help you, Squidward. |
Baby Billy: Look, mama, a monkey! Dance, monkey, dance! Dance, monkey! Squidward: I quit! | Wait, Squidward, don't leave! We can't give up yet! |
Plankton: Sweet and delicious victory, you are mine! | Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, we'll fix this. |
Mr. Krabs: Not this time boy, it's all over for the good old Krusty Krab, it's probably best if you start looking forward for a new job, boy, maybe in the different way like. | New... Different... That's it! |
Mr. Krabs: Well, that was better than I expected. Well only one more thing left to do now. I have to leave back with me ma. Hopefully she kept me posters in me room. Narrator: Five minutes later. | Krabby Patties, brand new Krabby Patty recipe, all new, all different, all deliciousness, try them for free! |
Nazz: You can't be serious. Frank: I'm so hungry, I don't care, I gotta eat something. Nazz: No! Wait! Nat: Let him go, it's too late. | All new free Krabby Patties! |
Frank: Hey, buddy, I'll try one, what do I got to lose. Dear Neptune Gill Sacks, this is the best thing I every put in my mouth! Yay! Nazz: Did he just say it was good? Frank: Woohoo! Nat: Wow, Frank never dances, it must be good! Henry-Bart: I'm getting something this amazing for free! How much will this buy? Frank: Yum yum! Yum yum yum yum! Yum yum! Hey, patty boy, take my wallet, I gotta have more! Nat and Nazz: Now that's what I'm talking about! Nat: Here's our life savings! Just give us more Krabby Patties! Plankton: Don't worry, Karen, I'll be here at lunch time. My mission here is accomplished. What the...?! | It's working! |
Plankton: No, wait! What's going on? You hate Krabby Patties remember? Uh-oh. | We did it, Mr. Krabs! We saved the Krusty Krab! All I did was sell the old Krabby Patties, and call them new! |
Mr. Krabs: Do you mind, I'm trying to make a money angel here. | Oh, money angels, can I make one? |
Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, SpongeBob. Hop in! Did you hear what? | Hear what? |
Mr. Krabs: Good point. | So, I was all ready to drain the fries, but I cooked the fries slightly too long! So... |
Squidward: SpongeBob? | So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in. |
Squidward: SpongeBob? | They weren't overcooked at all! |
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