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z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsqbme | ixs2cq8 | 1,669,425,315 | 1,669,413,394 | 105 | 7 | You may want to temporarily store your passport with another party. It would be difficult to take you out of the country without one. Also, start keeping good records of every interaction. Keep a diary. Dates, times, summary of what was said with direct quotes. In lieu of actual audio recordings, courts will look more seriously at allegations that are backed by organized thorough records. | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | 1 | 11,921 | 15 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixrc0hb | ixrn2ar | 1,669,401,772 | 1,669,406,624 | 36 | 80 | What country is he a citizen of? | Assuming that the husband is not a U.S. citizen, would it be possible to make a referral to ICE or U.S. Border Patrol? | 0 | 4,852 | 2.222222 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixree4f | ixrn2ar | 1,669,402,812 | 1,669,406,624 | 31 | 80 | Any evidence you can find of threats, make copies. Any family member who has witnessed the threats (like hearing or receiving them) or any past violence can write an a very specific account of what they witnessed, in their own words. May as well tack on “I affirm that the above statements are a true and complete reflection of the facts as I know them” before signing, or take it to a notary and sign it there and get the notary stamp. In many states, you’d be able to use these statements to get the restraining order. Temporary restraining orders don’t last long, but they often can be put in place very quickly. Maybe try the local police station first, saying your husband is threatening to travel to you and harm you. If no help, try to look up any special “domestic violence unit” that may exist in your county, perhaps in the prosecutor’s office | Assuming that the husband is not a U.S. citizen, would it be possible to make a referral to ICE or U.S. Border Patrol? | 0 | 3,812 | 2.580645 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixrc0hb | ixsd6ll | 1,669,401,772 | 1,669,418,637 | 36 | 42 | What country is he a citizen of? | Call a domestic violence hotline, explain the situation, and ask for help. They’ll know what resources are available in your area. | 0 | 16,865 | 1.166667 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsd6ll | ixree4f | 1,669,418,637 | 1,669,402,812 | 42 | 31 | Call a domestic violence hotline, explain the situation, and ask for help. They’ll know what resources are available in your area. | Any evidence you can find of threats, make copies. Any family member who has witnessed the threats (like hearing or receiving them) or any past violence can write an a very specific account of what they witnessed, in their own words. May as well tack on “I affirm that the above statements are a true and complete reflection of the facts as I know them” before signing, or take it to a notary and sign it there and get the notary stamp. In many states, you’d be able to use these statements to get the restraining order. Temporary restraining orders don’t last long, but they often can be put in place very quickly. Maybe try the local police station first, saying your husband is threatening to travel to you and harm you. If no help, try to look up any special “domestic violence unit” that may exist in your county, perhaps in the prosecutor’s office | 1 | 15,825 | 1.354839 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixrr5sf | ixsd6ll | 1,669,408,440 | 1,669,418,637 | 24 | 42 | Make a police report today or ASAP. Call the nonemergency number if you need instructions on how to do this or just show up at the station. Save all texts and communication and provide those with the report. You may want to take screenshots and print those pictures. Usually, a local library can help you with this. Don't be shy about clearly stating to the police that you believe your life is in danger. Don't let them convince you otherwise and push for a restraining order. Consider security where you are staying. Do you have an alarm system and/or cameras? Could you get them, if not? Evidence is key in these cases. In the least, make sure that everyone in the house is aware of the situation, keep doors locked, keep windows locked, don't answer the door to ANY unknown people, keep an eye our for suspicious vehicles since he'll likely be driving a rental. It's also a good idea to tell neighbors to be on the lookout too. If he does show up, immediately call the police (911) and DON'T answer the door. Again, tell the cops/dispatcher you believe your life is in danger. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and look forward to calmer times. | Call a domestic violence hotline, explain the situation, and ask for help. They’ll know what resources are available in your area. | 0 | 10,197 | 1.75 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsd6ll | ixru111 | 1,669,418,637 | 1,669,409,689 | 42 | 12 | Call a domestic violence hotline, explain the situation, and ask for help. They’ll know what resources are available in your area. | Not a lawyer. Since he's in Vancouver and you are in the Maryland, you should file a restraining order/protective order or police report (threats he's made) ASAP. Give your husband's full name (seen on passport and driver's license), ssn (if American citizen) or the Canadian equivalent, and address. If he flies into Maryland, he might be flagged and held for a bit at airport. They might ask him about this protective order or police report. At least, it will be a warning to your husband there are legal consequences to his actions. In the meantime, document and record everything (check if 1 or 2 party state). Put up security cameras. Tell people you trust were you are and your situation. That way they too can be vigilant. | 1 | 8,948 | 3.5 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixs2cq8 | ixsd6ll | 1,669,413,394 | 1,669,418,637 | 7 | 42 | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | Call a domestic violence hotline, explain the situation, and ask for help. They’ll know what resources are available in your area. | 0 | 5,243 | 6 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixrr5sf | ixsvlnx | 1,669,408,440 | 1,669,428,120 | 24 | 31 | Make a police report today or ASAP. Call the nonemergency number if you need instructions on how to do this or just show up at the station. Save all texts and communication and provide those with the report. You may want to take screenshots and print those pictures. Usually, a local library can help you with this. Don't be shy about clearly stating to the police that you believe your life is in danger. Don't let them convince you otherwise and push for a restraining order. Consider security where you are staying. Do you have an alarm system and/or cameras? Could you get them, if not? Evidence is key in these cases. In the least, make sure that everyone in the house is aware of the situation, keep doors locked, keep windows locked, don't answer the door to ANY unknown people, keep an eye our for suspicious vehicles since he'll likely be driving a rental. It's also a good idea to tell neighbors to be on the lookout too. If he does show up, immediately call the police (911) and DON'T answer the door. Again, tell the cops/dispatcher you believe your life is in danger. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and look forward to calmer times. | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | 0 | 19,680 | 1.291667 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixru111 | ixsvlnx | 1,669,409,689 | 1,669,428,120 | 12 | 31 | Not a lawyer. Since he's in Vancouver and you are in the Maryland, you should file a restraining order/protective order or police report (threats he's made) ASAP. Give your husband's full name (seen on passport and driver's license), ssn (if American citizen) or the Canadian equivalent, and address. If he flies into Maryland, he might be flagged and held for a bit at airport. They might ask him about this protective order or police report. At least, it will be a warning to your husband there are legal consequences to his actions. In the meantime, document and record everything (check if 1 or 2 party state). Put up security cameras. Tell people you trust were you are and your situation. That way they too can be vigilant. | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | 0 | 18,431 | 2.583333 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsmf06 | ixsvlnx | 1,669,423,250 | 1,669,428,120 | 12 | 31 | I am not a lawyer and Im on the wrong side of this (aka Canada) but I know CBSA has a Border Watch Line where you can preemptively report someone planning to cross into the country to either commit immigration fraud, a crime, etc. Perhaps the United States has something similar? Since uttering threats is illegal in both countries you may be able to have him flagged to prevent his ability to cross into the country at all. At the very least he would have to cross under false pretences because entering the country to threaten your STBex doesn’t exactly fall under something you’d admit to customs and I’m sure he’ll misrepresent his intentions at the border. As others have said you also want to report to the police and make your intentions crystal clear to him ie “do not come here. Do not speak to me any longer. Leave me alone and any further contact needs to go through my lawyer.” Once you do that you meet the standard necessary by BC law to start filing reports with the VPD/RCMP for criminal harassment for a paper trail. | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | 0 | 4,870 | 2.583333 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsvlnx | ixspscj | 1,669,428,120 | 1,669,425,027 | 31 | 9 | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | Make sure that your paperwork (Passport, Drivers Licence, etc.) Are in an area he cannot easily get to. Might suggest a safety deposit box that your parents control. | 1 | 3,093 | 3.444444 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixsvlnx | ixso0h0 | 1,669,428,120 | 1,669,424,084 | 31 | 8 | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | I think what he is threatening, would fall under terroristic, threats, have the police write up a report and file charges now! I’m pretty sure this can get him put on a no-fly list | 1 | 4,036 | 3.875 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixs2cq8 | ixsvlnx | 1,669,413,394 | 1,669,428,120 | 7 | 31 | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | I would text him that you will not be returning to him, your marriage is over, and you will be filing for divorce. Then, sit back and wait. Do not take any of his phone calls. That forces him to leave your phone and/or text messages. He may end up voluntarily giving you what you need to take to the police to see what can be done. At a minimum, you can start a reporting trail with the police. If he ends up giving you an idea of when he might show up: 1. You and your family should find somewhere else to be. 2. Your family should have a ring camera installed on their front doors and cameras outside their house. 3. Warn the neighbors that you crazy ex might show up at your family’s home. That gives you more people keeping an eye out on the area and likely to call the police if they think that it is necessary. Not a lawyer Edit to add - It might be worth talking to Immigration if he provides you with evidence of his intent because he will have to go through immigration to enter the US. If you have evidence that he is dangerous perhaps they might deny him entry. | 0 | 14,726 | 4.428571 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixs2cq8 | ixsmf06 | 1,669,413,394 | 1,669,423,250 | 7 | 12 | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | I am not a lawyer and Im on the wrong side of this (aka Canada) but I know CBSA has a Border Watch Line where you can preemptively report someone planning to cross into the country to either commit immigration fraud, a crime, etc. Perhaps the United States has something similar? Since uttering threats is illegal in both countries you may be able to have him flagged to prevent his ability to cross into the country at all. At the very least he would have to cross under false pretences because entering the country to threaten your STBex doesn’t exactly fall under something you’d admit to customs and I’m sure he’ll misrepresent his intentions at the border. As others have said you also want to report to the police and make your intentions crystal clear to him ie “do not come here. Do not speak to me any longer. Leave me alone and any further contact needs to go through my lawyer.” Once you do that you meet the standard necessary by BC law to start filing reports with the VPD/RCMP for criminal harassment for a paper trail. | 0 | 9,856 | 1.714286 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixspscj | ixso0h0 | 1,669,425,027 | 1,669,424,084 | 9 | 8 | Make sure that your paperwork (Passport, Drivers Licence, etc.) Are in an area he cannot easily get to. Might suggest a safety deposit box that your parents control. | I think what he is threatening, would fall under terroristic, threats, have the police write up a report and file charges now! I’m pretty sure this can get him put on a no-fly list | 1 | 943 | 1.125 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixs2cq8 | ixspscj | 1,669,413,394 | 1,669,425,027 | 7 | 9 | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | Make sure that your paperwork (Passport, Drivers Licence, etc.) Are in an area he cannot easily get to. Might suggest a safety deposit box that your parents control. | 0 | 11,633 | 1.285714 |
z4jhr3 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Left my husband. He’s threatening to fly to me if I don’t return. What can I do? My husband is in a foreign country. I left him and came to live with parents. He will not accept that I’m not coming back and has started threatening me and my family, blaming them for the state of our relationship. He said either I come back or he’s coming here and will make things bad. Even if I file a restraining order, can’t he still fly here..? Plus doesn’t it take a while to get it approved? Does it take money? (I don’t have much.) And he’s also in another country so how would that work? I’m pretty freaked out because my “deadline” to return or not according to him is soon. | ixso0h0 | ixs2cq8 | 1,669,424,084 | 1,669,413,394 | 8 | 7 | I think what he is threatening, would fall under terroristic, threats, have the police write up a report and file charges now! I’m pretty sure this can get him put on a no-fly list | 1. Contact Law Enforcement. Bring any and all correspondence where threats are made. If they try to deflect or shirk responsibility ask if they can point you in the direction of someone who can and will do something. Also consider contacting provincial law enforcement/RCMP and seeing what they can do to help. 2. Get some self-defense training. It doesn't matter how big he is or how small you are if you are trained to effectively defend yourself. Carry pepper spray/mace if it is legal to do so in Maryland. A large dog might also be a good idea. 3. Keep your door locked at all times. Knob lock, deadbolt, and a chain lock. Replace the hinge and latch plate screws with 3" deck screws. If he shows up, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANY REASON! Do not engage in conversation with him. Call 911 and ask for police assistance immediately. If he breaks in, retreat to a secure room in your home. If you don't have one, get some help in setting one up. If your home doesn't have window bars and you can reasonably afford them, get them and have them installed. 4. If you have a good relationship with your neighbors, ask them to keep an eye out for your husband and have them contact you if they see him. | 1 | 10,690 | 1.142857 |
qic7e9 | legaladvice_train | 0.61 | Fair Housing complaint HOA sent me a cease and desist notice I have an issue with my HOA they are not allowing my kids to use facilities. They refused to do anything and I filed a fair housing complaint. They started sending me emails that I was violating petty rules so I told them that I consider this retaliation which is not legal. I then get a letter from to cease and desist talking to anyone including board members or I will be sued. I wasn't sure if I should get an attorney but I did turn it over to the investigator who is looking to add retaliation to my complaint. I also found out there attorney is appointed to the local fair housing board. Should I report him to the bar for even taking on the case or just wait and see what happens and bring it up if they don't do anything. | hiib5s7 | hiird8x | 1,635,513,033 | 1,635,519,987 | 5 | 41 | Get an attorney | I feel like this post is missing a LOT of details. I doubt it's retaliation if you're actually breaking rules, even if you consider them petty. | 0 | 6,954 | 8.2 |
wpr74x | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Minnesota] Sent cease-and-desist by luxury brand but items are genuine vintage I work in a vintage store, and we were sent this by mail: > Dear NAME OF STORE, > You are to cease and desist selling Fiorucci crop tops or further action will be taken. > Please contact TELEPHONE NUMBER > Signed, > NAME We get donations from members of the public of items of clothing for sale, these are the real deal so why would we be sent this? NEED ADVICE! | iki6yud | iki87rr | 1,660,648,566 | 1,660,649,352 | 24 | 269 | Are you buying any wholesale? | You should be fine. As long as you aren’t selling them as new the second sale doctrine protects you | 0 | 786 | 11.208333 |
wpr74x | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Minnesota] Sent cease-and-desist by luxury brand but items are genuine vintage I work in a vintage store, and we were sent this by mail: > Dear NAME OF STORE, > You are to cease and desist selling Fiorucci crop tops or further action will be taken. > Please contact TELEPHONE NUMBER > Signed, > NAME We get donations from members of the public of items of clothing for sale, these are the real deal so why would we be sent this? NEED ADVICE! | ikiqmu2 | iki6yud | 1,660,658,598 | 1,660,648,566 | 149 | 24 | I would ignore it. With some very narrow exceptions (e.g. computer software licensed to a specific machine), you're allowed to resale authentic items. These people are just trying to bully you. One thing to watch out for: if you sell stuff on-line, be careful with how you use their trademarks. You should avoid using their logos, but can use their names 'nominatively' as in "We sell vintage Kate Spade(r) handbags." | Are you buying any wholesale? | 1 | 10,032 | 6.208333 |
wpr74x | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Minnesota] Sent cease-and-desist by luxury brand but items are genuine vintage I work in a vintage store, and we were sent this by mail: > Dear NAME OF STORE, > You are to cease and desist selling Fiorucci crop tops or further action will be taken. > Please contact TELEPHONE NUMBER > Signed, > NAME We get donations from members of the public of items of clothing for sale, these are the real deal so why would we be sent this? NEED ADVICE! | iki6yud | ikitdnl | 1,660,648,566 | 1,660,659,733 | 24 | 67 | Are you buying any wholesale? | You say you sell online, do you take your own pictures of products for sale, or use “official” product images? As far as selling these things the first-sale doctrine applies. Once the copyright holder has first sold the item, that item can be freely rented/sold/destroyed without input or royalties for the copyright holder. That means you are free to sell any of their works that they first sold to someone else. Where first sale doctrine wouldn’t apply would be unauthorized reproduction or stolen goods, anything that wasn’t first sold by an authorized source. It has also been held to apply to marketing images, so you have the right to display product images of the specific copy you have in your possession, but not a “stock” image of that product. | 0 | 11,167 | 2.791667 |
tsk9ii | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | What legal rights do I have as a tenant to prevent my roommate from using the oven as a space heater? Background: I live in a single-family residence in Michigan that is being rented out to myself and 4 other tenants. The heat in my house where I live is broken. My landlord has intends to fix it, but in the mean time one of my roommates/housemates has decided to use the oven as a space heater. She does this by turning the oven to 500° and leaves the oven door wide open. This is pretty dangerous, and it fills the house with toxic carbon monoxide. I am getting headaches, a symptom of CO poisoning. I have asked her to stop, and I have asked my landlord to tell her to stop. She has refused and continues to use the oven as a space heater, even though 90% of the day she stays in her room. Obviously my landlord needs to get this fixed asap. But what are my options in the meantime, and if this becomes a long term thing? | i2rr9x5 | i2rqw3d | 1,648,677,314 | 1,648,677,153 | 72 | 2 | You are free to turn off the oven whenever you see it on. I'd also suggest getting a carbon monoxide meter to make sure you are at safe levels. Is the stove natural gas? If so it should produce minimal CO but it's still possible and you want to air out the home if there are unsafe levels. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 161 | 36 |
tsk9ii | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | What legal rights do I have as a tenant to prevent my roommate from using the oven as a space heater? Background: I live in a single-family residence in Michigan that is being rented out to myself and 4 other tenants. The heat in my house where I live is broken. My landlord has intends to fix it, but in the mean time one of my roommates/housemates has decided to use the oven as a space heater. She does this by turning the oven to 500° and leaves the oven door wide open. This is pretty dangerous, and it fills the house with toxic carbon monoxide. I am getting headaches, a symptom of CO poisoning. I have asked her to stop, and I have asked my landlord to tell her to stop. She has refused and continues to use the oven as a space heater, even though 90% of the day she stays in her room. Obviously my landlord needs to get this fixed asap. But what are my options in the meantime, and if this becomes a long term thing? | i2yfn7m | i2rqw3d | 1,648,798,083 | 1,648,677,153 | 47 | 2 | Shut off gas at the main valve. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 120,930 | 23.5 |
vp7t6l | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | [Maryland] HOA fined my family for registering with a city pool instead of the community pool. I’m making this post largely for my parents sake, seeing as this sub really helped us out a few months back and they aren’t the most tech-savvy Our community has a pool that is privately owned by the HOA and is closed off to those outside the community. Since moving to the neighborhood two and a half years ago, my family has always re-registered with one of the city pools that we have gone to for over a decade and we have never registered with our community pool. Somehow, the HOA found out about this and served my parents with a 1,000 dollar fine for signing up with the city pool instead of the community pool. The letter and email state: “the bylaws which you (home owner) agreed to state that you are expected to participate with community amenities over external amenities.” Bear in mind these facts - My parents have never signed any form of contract with the HOA other than the initial contract when we assumed ownership of the house. - Our family has never registered with the community pool over the three summers we have lived here, so there is no contract or “pool bond” which requires a yearly payment. - Upon a close read the HOA bylaws (within the contract my parents signed upon assuming ownership) say nothing about the community pool being a mandatory membership and it also does not say anything about not being permitted to have a membership to an outside pool. What is the best course of action? PS, not sure what flare to use here. | ieiadis | iehpfoa | 1,656,713,627 | 1,656,704,655 | 14 | 13 | So 1) the pool is optional membership and 2) the homeowners never signed up for that pool and then 3) the HOA found about this and are sending them a nasty letter? | Do your HOA bylaws address this? | 1 | 8,972 | 1.076923 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8t1lub | e8s1uf8 | 1,541,013,765 | 1,540,977,261 | 66 | 60 | Conservator, that would mean that in the event of your Grandmothers death, your uncle or you would proceed with final wishes and but considered a primary party. This also, usually, comes with a boiler plate power of attorney. At least the ones I've seen have. You should also have a Will made with some more specific language as to what happens with the life insurance. I will say, in many cases that I've seen (as a legal assistant mind you) Conservators have some power. Especially if/when you ask for police to open an investigation. ​ Consequently, if your mom has a diagnosed mental illness, you can have her declared unfit and have an order created to get the insurance in the form of a trust with terms either spelled out by a Will or the Conservator. This would also stop your mother from ever being able to be assigned POA over anyone. That said, this will likely trash your relationship with your mom. | With respect, I really do believe you're overthinking this. But if you genuinely feel there is imminent threat to your grandmother's life, I'd notify the local police that she's feeling suicidal, as your mother claims. The police will check up on her at least a couple times. This will firstly make a record of the entire thing beforehand, so if this scenario (God forbid) does play out as you predict, police will be more willing to conduct a homicide investigation. Second, the visits from the police may be enough to spook your mother and deter her from any kind of foul play. Regardless, I'm sure any well founded department will immediately become suspicious of, and thoroughly investigate, a "suicide" by an 82 year old woman. | 1 | 36,504 | 1.1 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8t1lub | e8t0x9h | 1,541,013,765 | 1,541,013,211 | 66 | 19 | Conservator, that would mean that in the event of your Grandmothers death, your uncle or you would proceed with final wishes and but considered a primary party. This also, usually, comes with a boiler plate power of attorney. At least the ones I've seen have. You should also have a Will made with some more specific language as to what happens with the life insurance. I will say, in many cases that I've seen (as a legal assistant mind you) Conservators have some power. Especially if/when you ask for police to open an investigation. ​ Consequently, if your mom has a diagnosed mental illness, you can have her declared unfit and have an order created to get the insurance in the form of a trust with terms either spelled out by a Will or the Conservator. This would also stop your mother from ever being able to be assigned POA over anyone. That said, this will likely trash your relationship with your mom. | Sounds like possible elder abuse to me. I have no idea where you are, or who the relevant authority is there, but your local police should be able to point you in the right direction if you give them a call. | 1 | 554 | 3.473684 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8svrvn | e8t1lub | 1,541,009,192 | 1,541,013,765 | 4 | 66 | I would call until you are able to speak to your grandma and reference mom said you were depressed and I'm worried about you... Then she will either deny the depression or agree that she is and then you can get help with either response | Conservator, that would mean that in the event of your Grandmothers death, your uncle or you would proceed with final wishes and but considered a primary party. This also, usually, comes with a boiler plate power of attorney. At least the ones I've seen have. You should also have a Will made with some more specific language as to what happens with the life insurance. I will say, in many cases that I've seen (as a legal assistant mind you) Conservators have some power. Especially if/when you ask for police to open an investigation. ​ Consequently, if your mom has a diagnosed mental illness, you can have her declared unfit and have an order created to get the insurance in the form of a trust with terms either spelled out by a Will or the Conservator. This would also stop your mother from ever being able to be assigned POA over anyone. That said, this will likely trash your relationship with your mom. | 0 | 4,573 | 16.5 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8svrvn | e8t0x9h | 1,541,009,192 | 1,541,013,211 | 4 | 19 | I would call until you are able to speak to your grandma and reference mom said you were depressed and I'm worried about you... Then she will either deny the depression or agree that she is and then you can get help with either response | Sounds like possible elder abuse to me. I have no idea where you are, or who the relevant authority is there, but your local police should be able to point you in the right direction if you give them a call. | 0 | 4,019 | 4.75 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8svrvn | e8t5120 | 1,541,009,192 | 1,541,016,530 | 4 | 17 | I would call until you are able to speak to your grandma and reference mom said you were depressed and I'm worried about you... Then she will either deny the depression or agree that she is and then you can get help with either response | There's lots of good advice here, but the one thing I would add that I haven't seen posted here is to suggest that your Uncle gets way more involved with her estate and push to have him be named executor of her will and or be granted POA to deal with her financial decisions. This may deter your mother from thinking she will profit off of your grandmother's death. | 0 | 7,338 | 4.25 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8t5k3m | e8svrvn | 1,541,016,950 | 1,541,009,192 | 9 | 4 | If you truly think your mother would harm her, I'd file a report with APS. Also, I'm pretty sure that most life insurance policies don't pay out for "suicide," so if she were to hypothetically go that far for money, she'd likely be SOL. | I would call until you are able to speak to your grandma and reference mom said you were depressed and I'm worried about you... Then she will either deny the depression or agree that she is and then you can get help with either response | 1 | 7,758 | 2.25 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | ei2bw84 | e8svrvn | 1,552,047,112 | 1,541,009,192 | 7 | 4 | You should document every suspicious activity that she does with the date and possibly time if you can, and go into detail about it. On their own they may not seem bad but all together it can paint a darker story. | I would call until you are able to speak to your grandma and reference mom said you were depressed and I'm worried about you... Then she will either deny the depression or agree that she is and then you can get help with either response | 1 | 11,037,920 | 1.75 |
9sudc9 | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide. For some background, I live in WA and my mother and grandmother live together in NJ. My grandmother is 82, diabetic, mostly blind, has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks (shopping, hygiene, etc.), but otherwise is doing fairly well considering. She had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated, which is when this whole fiasco started. My mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it, and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own gain. That is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her. She also has about 15 years experience in the medical field (EMS), so she knows a thing or two. Since my grandmother's surgery, my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed. She's always been the alarmist type, so I just brushed it off, but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon. At some point during this time, my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going, but my mom answered (GM was napping), went off of my aunt, and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needs a speech therapist. I spoke my my grandmother on Sunday and there is no difference in her speech, so clearly the speech therapist was BS. My grandmother also expressed that she feels great, that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salve on it and the soreness goes away, and otherwise she's healing and recovering well, isn't on any pain medication or antibiotics, and her foot looks good. I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry, but all of this does align with my mother's updates, except that my mother keeps insisting upon the depression. Today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed, she's having a hard time recovering, etc. and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who is helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker. She also stated that she's seeking POA for my grandmother's medical care and "affairs", that they're putting together a living will, a will, and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation. She says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find (I believe this is true) and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs, and split the remainder between my mother, myself and one of my brothers (I suspect this is a lie). The problem is, my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance, which is where the POA comes in. I knew my mom was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow, and now I know how she's going to do it. Several hours after this conversation it dawned on me - I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother, making it look like a suicide, and have everything left to her. I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him, as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker, but I was wondering what other steps I can take to try to prevent this from happening. Can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis? Can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play, even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes? Is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed? What steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining POA and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance? Any and all advice is welcome, as I truly don't know what to do in this situation. Just a note: A caregiver other than my mom is out of the question - there's no way my mother would allow it, and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety. | e8t8xzm | ei2bw84 | 1,541,019,721 | 1,552,047,112 | 3 | 7 | You should talk to your grandmother and file to be her POA yourself. | You should document every suspicious activity that she does with the date and possibly time if you can, and go into detail about it. On their own they may not seem bad but all together it can paint a darker story. | 0 | 11,027,391 | 2.333333 |
9l5m3m | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | I think my brother is going to kill someone. Please help me. Washington State. My older brother is a very serious threat to society and himself and I am afraid. I understand that the text below is extensive, but if you have any knowledge on what to do in cases in which someone is suspected of being violently capable, I ask that you read this and give me your insights. I don’t know what to do. Please help me. My older brother has had social problems his entire life, he had a very difficult time making friends as a child. He was frequently bullied or a bully to others. He also treated me very poorly during my entire childhood, was physically abusive (more than is normal for siblings), and just generally an asshole to everyone around him. Not empathizing, saying hurtful or inappropriate things, and had intense and frequent angry outbursts. He experienced behavioral problemas, went to jail a few times for shoplifting. Got kicked out of university for selling pot from his dorm room. Was kicked out of almost every school for bullying or being disrespectful to teachers. When he was at university, the stress of not having friends/feeling social isolation grew to be too much for him. He called my dad and told him that he had bought a gun and was going to kill himself in his dorm room, while my dad pleaded with him to wait just a few hours so that he could drive out there and talk reasonably with him. My dad ended up calling the police and told them my brother was suicidal and the police showed up on his door and took him to a psych ward for 3 days where he had evaluations and was eventually released with meds prescribed. My brother took the meds for a few months and then decided he didn’t want to anymore, and stopped. As an adult, he was able to find a little niche for himself. He was never successful as an employee, always getting fired, and ended up forming his own successful little electronics business. He buys DVDs and video games from retail stores on sale and sells them for profit on Amazon out of my parents’ basement. He makes a fair share of money from this little endeavor, enough to buy himself a house and live independently. Seeing as he treated me so poorly as a child, as an adult (I am 26, he is now 29), I blocked him out and cut all ties. My life is healthier that way. Up until recently, I had only had a handful of conversations with my brother in the past 5 years. I have a very, very close relationship with my father, who is an exceptional human and parent and has always tried to do the best for my brother - everything EXCEPT pursue therapy or psychological evaluations for him even though my brother has something clearly very different around him. This summer, my dad confided in me that some of the few friends that my brother had made had “ghosted” him, they all suddenly stopped talking to him and didn’t invite my brother to their annual beach house trip. This social rejection - after having experienced so much social rejection in his life - pushed my brother over the edge. He became seriously depressed, didn’t leave his home for many weeks. Screamed at my dad about how he was going to kill himself, or maybe kill the people who rejected him, or maybe kill everyone. After all, he said, he has been treated horribly his whole life. Other people should know how it feels to suffer. Once my dad shared this recent episode with me, I tried to involve myself in my brother’s life. I live in another country, so I started Facebook messaging him regularly, asking him about his day, his activities, whatever, just trying to get him to talk to me and help process whatever it is he is dealing with. He spoke to me as well about his anger, how he has been socially rejected, how other people should suffer because he has suffered, how he has thought about hurting people, how he wants to kill himself. We have had a few such conversations over phone (he does not put anything actually incriminating in text) and he cries, wails and acts very distressed. I spoke with my dad about these threats, and we came to the conclusion that my brother is most likely just looking for attention, that he likes the emotional support he gets from my dad and I when he makes these awful threats. Bilaterally, I spoke seriously with my dad about my brother’s mental health, and motivated my father to get my brother tested for autism, which he was diagnosed with (as high functioning). It has been a few months since the diagnosis, but my brother has not agreed to see any therapist. OK - This is where I start getting VERY SCARED: This summer, I visited Seattle, where I am from and where my father and brother both live. My dad asked my brother to pick me up from the airport. I had not seen my brother for almost two years and when I saw him, I was alarmed. He had gained weight, was entirely ungroomed, dressed sloppily, really he had the image of someone who had totally given up. When I got into the car, my brother was TENSE, I asked him if everything was Ok, he said that he was just stressed from all the traffic. He then became frustrated by the fact that the person in front of us in the arrivals pick up was not moving fast enough. My brother honked violently at him and then in a flash, got out of the car, rushed to the man and started pushing him VIOLENTLY, screaming swear words at him and at his wife. It looked like he was about to beat this guy to a pulp. The guy did not respond with violence and was trying to back away. I ran out of the car and put myself between them. Cops came and pulled my brother away as he continued screaming and lunging toward the man. My brother is a big dude. Someone of his size coming toward you like that… I cannot imagine how scary. It all happened in a rush, the police starting asking me what happened, who I was, my relation, etc. Eventually they took down my brother’s name and let him go. I was sobbing, it was actually terrifying. I really think that if I hadn’t put myself between my scary scary brother and this unassuming stranger, my brother would have tried to assault him further. Maybe kill him. I don’t know. Looking back, I regret greatly not having disclosed to the police that my brother has been romanticizing violence to me. I regret that I did not pressure them to take him to jail and have the incident written on his public record. At the time, I was so shaken up and terrified that I was at a total loss as of what to do. I spent the whole car ride crying on the way home. My brother was fuming. His side of the story is that the kind, unassuming man at the airpot had given my brother the middle finger and that is what upset him (not true. That did not happen). And THEN my brother told me that he had had a similar incident a few months prior. My brother states that a man had sworn at him in a parking lot, and that my brother followed him to his car and pushed and shoved him violently and then drove away. The police showed up to my brothers house, but my brother just said that he acted out of self defense and, again, there was nothing officially filed or put on his record. He then repeated what he always says, “Why should I care about other people if I have been treated like shit my entire life?” And talked again about his desire to hurt people, make people feel the way he has felt. I am, of course, overwhelmed by these events. I truly believe that my brother is a harm to the public. I do not know if he would plan a mass violent attack, but rather I think that its very likely that he could beat someone to death for something as small as being cut in line or looked at the wrong way. He has very serious anger issues, is inclined to depression, and has paranoia. He thinks that many people are pathological liars and constantly wails about how people with “obvious personality flaws” can make friends easily while he has never had a real friend. He attends MeetUp groups every week and tries to make friends. He is able to mask his emotional instability for events such as those, but still makes inappropriate comments and is unable to make people “like” him, which is what he says causes him to act out. I have been personally traumatized by the preceding events. I haven’t been sleeping well. Every time my phone rings, I think it will be my dad calling to tell me that my brother has committed some terrible act. My question for you all - WHAT DO I DO?? My inclination is to go to the police, somehow, and tell them everything that has happened so that at least he will have this information on his record if he were to be stopped by the police again. Does anyone know what my legal options are? What the implications would be if I were to go to the police? Again, I don’t have of his threats written or recorded. I would be willing to testify under oath, but I live outside of the country (in Mexico) and do not go back to my home state (Washington) very often. Is there any way that I can get him intensely and accurately evaluated by a psychiatrist? He refuses to take medication and as he is very clearly mentally deranged, I think it would be one of the few things that might be able to help him. Is there a way I can make it illegal for him to buy a firearm? Or really any legal advice or regular advice will do. Again, I am very worried about what he might do. If there is another subreddit where I can ask for help, let me know. Please help me. | e74ahxl | e74aa2p | 1,538,606,368 | 1,538,606,171 | 59 | 8 | I live in Washington but am not a lawyer. If you’re adamant on calling the police and turning over any info on the above incidents, you could always consult an attorney first and see what they have to say. What the police do with the information you have is out of your hands once you report it. When your brother calls you crying and wailing about some injustice and how he’s going to kill himself or someone else. Call the police for a welfare check as soon as you hang up. Whether he goes with them or not, is ultimately out of your hands but it might give him access to additional resources if he were able to get to a facility for a brief stay. I’d also say perhaps try reaching out to adult protective services if all else fails. At the end of the day, however, it’s your brothers choice to not seek treatment for his issues and you may have to come to terms with that sooner rather than later. If this is weighing so heavily on you, I would encourage you to seek professional help of your own and possibly reach out to your brother via email or text in the future— some way that won’t rely on an immediate reaction from you. | Does he currently have access to a gun? It appears there is at least some waiting period to purchase a gun and a background check in WA but because none of your brother's recent run-ins with the law are on his record he may pass a background check. I think in some states him being sent to the psych ward would prevent him from purchasing a gun for a a period of time. I have a family member who lost the right to purchase a gun in my state for a somewhat minor infraction 20+ years ago so it definitely varies by state so it's worth looking into. If it were me I would call the local police where he lives and tell all this and also tell them about the violent confrontation he had at the airport you were witness to. | 1 | 197 | 7.375 |
9l5m3m | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | I think my brother is going to kill someone. Please help me. Washington State. My older brother is a very serious threat to society and himself and I am afraid. I understand that the text below is extensive, but if you have any knowledge on what to do in cases in which someone is suspected of being violently capable, I ask that you read this and give me your insights. I don’t know what to do. Please help me. My older brother has had social problems his entire life, he had a very difficult time making friends as a child. He was frequently bullied or a bully to others. He also treated me very poorly during my entire childhood, was physically abusive (more than is normal for siblings), and just generally an asshole to everyone around him. Not empathizing, saying hurtful or inappropriate things, and had intense and frequent angry outbursts. He experienced behavioral problemas, went to jail a few times for shoplifting. Got kicked out of university for selling pot from his dorm room. Was kicked out of almost every school for bullying or being disrespectful to teachers. When he was at university, the stress of not having friends/feeling social isolation grew to be too much for him. He called my dad and told him that he had bought a gun and was going to kill himself in his dorm room, while my dad pleaded with him to wait just a few hours so that he could drive out there and talk reasonably with him. My dad ended up calling the police and told them my brother was suicidal and the police showed up on his door and took him to a psych ward for 3 days where he had evaluations and was eventually released with meds prescribed. My brother took the meds for a few months and then decided he didn’t want to anymore, and stopped. As an adult, he was able to find a little niche for himself. He was never successful as an employee, always getting fired, and ended up forming his own successful little electronics business. He buys DVDs and video games from retail stores on sale and sells them for profit on Amazon out of my parents’ basement. He makes a fair share of money from this little endeavor, enough to buy himself a house and live independently. Seeing as he treated me so poorly as a child, as an adult (I am 26, he is now 29), I blocked him out and cut all ties. My life is healthier that way. Up until recently, I had only had a handful of conversations with my brother in the past 5 years. I have a very, very close relationship with my father, who is an exceptional human and parent and has always tried to do the best for my brother - everything EXCEPT pursue therapy or psychological evaluations for him even though my brother has something clearly very different around him. This summer, my dad confided in me that some of the few friends that my brother had made had “ghosted” him, they all suddenly stopped talking to him and didn’t invite my brother to their annual beach house trip. This social rejection - after having experienced so much social rejection in his life - pushed my brother over the edge. He became seriously depressed, didn’t leave his home for many weeks. Screamed at my dad about how he was going to kill himself, or maybe kill the people who rejected him, or maybe kill everyone. After all, he said, he has been treated horribly his whole life. Other people should know how it feels to suffer. Once my dad shared this recent episode with me, I tried to involve myself in my brother’s life. I live in another country, so I started Facebook messaging him regularly, asking him about his day, his activities, whatever, just trying to get him to talk to me and help process whatever it is he is dealing with. He spoke to me as well about his anger, how he has been socially rejected, how other people should suffer because he has suffered, how he has thought about hurting people, how he wants to kill himself. We have had a few such conversations over phone (he does not put anything actually incriminating in text) and he cries, wails and acts very distressed. I spoke with my dad about these threats, and we came to the conclusion that my brother is most likely just looking for attention, that he likes the emotional support he gets from my dad and I when he makes these awful threats. Bilaterally, I spoke seriously with my dad about my brother’s mental health, and motivated my father to get my brother tested for autism, which he was diagnosed with (as high functioning). It has been a few months since the diagnosis, but my brother has not agreed to see any therapist. OK - This is where I start getting VERY SCARED: This summer, I visited Seattle, where I am from and where my father and brother both live. My dad asked my brother to pick me up from the airport. I had not seen my brother for almost two years and when I saw him, I was alarmed. He had gained weight, was entirely ungroomed, dressed sloppily, really he had the image of someone who had totally given up. When I got into the car, my brother was TENSE, I asked him if everything was Ok, he said that he was just stressed from all the traffic. He then became frustrated by the fact that the person in front of us in the arrivals pick up was not moving fast enough. My brother honked violently at him and then in a flash, got out of the car, rushed to the man and started pushing him VIOLENTLY, screaming swear words at him and at his wife. It looked like he was about to beat this guy to a pulp. The guy did not respond with violence and was trying to back away. I ran out of the car and put myself between them. Cops came and pulled my brother away as he continued screaming and lunging toward the man. My brother is a big dude. Someone of his size coming toward you like that… I cannot imagine how scary. It all happened in a rush, the police starting asking me what happened, who I was, my relation, etc. Eventually they took down my brother’s name and let him go. I was sobbing, it was actually terrifying. I really think that if I hadn’t put myself between my scary scary brother and this unassuming stranger, my brother would have tried to assault him further. Maybe kill him. I don’t know. Looking back, I regret greatly not having disclosed to the police that my brother has been romanticizing violence to me. I regret that I did not pressure them to take him to jail and have the incident written on his public record. At the time, I was so shaken up and terrified that I was at a total loss as of what to do. I spent the whole car ride crying on the way home. My brother was fuming. His side of the story is that the kind, unassuming man at the airpot had given my brother the middle finger and that is what upset him (not true. That did not happen). And THEN my brother told me that he had had a similar incident a few months prior. My brother states that a man had sworn at him in a parking lot, and that my brother followed him to his car and pushed and shoved him violently and then drove away. The police showed up to my brothers house, but my brother just said that he acted out of self defense and, again, there was nothing officially filed or put on his record. He then repeated what he always says, “Why should I care about other people if I have been treated like shit my entire life?” And talked again about his desire to hurt people, make people feel the way he has felt. I am, of course, overwhelmed by these events. I truly believe that my brother is a harm to the public. I do not know if he would plan a mass violent attack, but rather I think that its very likely that he could beat someone to death for something as small as being cut in line or looked at the wrong way. He has very serious anger issues, is inclined to depression, and has paranoia. He thinks that many people are pathological liars and constantly wails about how people with “obvious personality flaws” can make friends easily while he has never had a real friend. He attends MeetUp groups every week and tries to make friends. He is able to mask his emotional instability for events such as those, but still makes inappropriate comments and is unable to make people “like” him, which is what he says causes him to act out. I have been personally traumatized by the preceding events. I haven’t been sleeping well. Every time my phone rings, I think it will be my dad calling to tell me that my brother has committed some terrible act. My question for you all - WHAT DO I DO?? My inclination is to go to the police, somehow, and tell them everything that has happened so that at least he will have this information on his record if he were to be stopped by the police again. Does anyone know what my legal options are? What the implications would be if I were to go to the police? Again, I don’t have of his threats written or recorded. I would be willing to testify under oath, but I live outside of the country (in Mexico) and do not go back to my home state (Washington) very often. Is there any way that I can get him intensely and accurately evaluated by a psychiatrist? He refuses to take medication and as he is very clearly mentally deranged, I think it would be one of the few things that might be able to help him. Is there a way I can make it illegal for him to buy a firearm? Or really any legal advice or regular advice will do. Again, I am very worried about what he might do. If there is another subreddit where I can ask for help, let me know. Please help me. | e74guud | e74aa2p | 1,538,612,451 | 1,538,606,171 | 39 | 8 | I am not a lawyer but a mental health advocate. Here are some resources for Washington State, including close/in Seattle: https://www.hca.wa.gov/health-care-services-and-supports/behavioral-health-recovery/mental-health-crisis-lines https://www.namiwa.org/index.php/resources Police are not there to reign in anything other than an active, life-threatening crisis, though you should speak to them for records' sake in case there are further issues. You and your father need to focus on supporting yourselves as potential caretakers to someone undergoing a mental health crisis. You'd be surprised just how far someone's behavior can slide before anything can be done from a legal standpoint. You/your dad will need support if he continues to get worse. | Does he currently have access to a gun? It appears there is at least some waiting period to purchase a gun and a background check in WA but because none of your brother's recent run-ins with the law are on his record he may pass a background check. I think in some states him being sent to the psych ward would prevent him from purchasing a gun for a a period of time. I have a family member who lost the right to purchase a gun in my state for a somewhat minor infraction 20+ years ago so it definitely varies by state so it's worth looking into. If it were me I would call the local police where he lives and tell all this and also tell them about the violent confrontation he had at the airport you were witness to. | 1 | 6,280 | 4.875 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuftuv8 | iuftwld | 1,667,175,391 | 1,667,175,413 | 509 | 730 | Once you're 18, you can do whatever you want. Your mother is under no obligation to pay for it. She can decide what she is or isn't willing to pay for. | Where are you located? Generally speaking you can decide to go anywhere you want, once you turn 18 and can qualify for the loans you'll need (or have scholarships). How are you going to be paying for college? Sounds like community college would be free for you. | 0 | 22 | 1.434185 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iufum0q | iugj7zz | 1,667,175,739 | 1,667,187,630 | 128 | 225 | Reach out to your first choice school, and ask about transferring for the spring semester. Since you won't be 18 when fall starts, you will most likely have to play by your mom's rules. | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | 0 | 11,891 | 1.757813 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugj7zz | iug9hu3 | 1,667,187,630 | 1,667,182,704 | 225 | 40 | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | You can go wherever you want but be prepared to shoulder the entire financial burden, unless those college savings are in a joint account where you’re able to pull the money before she knows about it. | 1 | 4,926 | 5.625 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugj7zz | iugaqea | 1,667,187,630 | 1,667,183,290 | 225 | 38 | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | You can go to college wherever you wish. But if mom is paying she may not if you don’t go to a local one. | 1 | 4,340 | 5.921053 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugcxsj | iugj7zz | 1,667,184,339 | 1,667,187,630 | 31 | 225 | Not a lawyer, but worked with college students, If she controls the money, you are to some extent stuck if you are relying on her to pay. She will fill out the FAFSA and other forms. Reach out to the school you really want to go to and ask for guidelines on transferring community college courses. You can actually save a lot of money going to CC for a semester or year. If you can become emancipated during that time and save money towards independent living. | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | 0 | 3,291 | 7.258065 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugf6tk | iugj7zz | 1,667,185,456 | 1,667,187,630 | 5 | 225 | Hi OP. This is not legal advice per se, and I honestly don’t know which subreddit to recommend to help you find the best resolution/outcome, but I’ve seen no mention of addressing your mental health and you essentially being an indentured servant to take care of your disabled father (and that situation, as you describe it, really is not ok). I’m sorry you are in this situation. I just wanted you to know that if you choose the emancipation route (as some have recommended), you’ll have to weigh very carefully the potential benefits and drawbacks of being emancipated. How bad for you mental health is living at home and caring for your dad? Are you paid to do this? Could you find employment that you enjoy more, and that could help you support yourself as you begin your academic career? It sounds like, ideally, you would get yourself a different living situation, which could be tenable if you got financial scholarships that footed a bill for housing. Your mother cannot legally mandate that you attend any specific college, but it sounds like she is holding you emotionally and financially hostage to be a care giver to your father. I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you don’t need to be contacting CPS to help facilitate getting you into a better living situation and to help make sure that you are eligible for all financial aid possible. Good luck! | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | 0 | 2,174 | 45 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugilxj | iugj7zz | 1,667,187,284 | 1,667,187,630 | 3 | 225 | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | Since no one has addressed this yet, you need to be aware that your parents' income is considered when you apply for financial aid. Even if you don't expect your family to contribute, the federal government does and it can prevent you from being eligible for the financial aid that you may need. You should check the FAFSA dependency status website to see how this will impact you. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. The FAFSA rules are shitty and while this doesn't give parents explicit legal control over where/if their children go to college, it does give them a tremendous amount of leverage. | 0 | 346 | 75 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugf6tk | iugn4b1 | 1,667,185,456 | 1,667,190,021 | 5 | 15 | Hi OP. This is not legal advice per se, and I honestly don’t know which subreddit to recommend to help you find the best resolution/outcome, but I’ve seen no mention of addressing your mental health and you essentially being an indentured servant to take care of your disabled father (and that situation, as you describe it, really is not ok). I’m sorry you are in this situation. I just wanted you to know that if you choose the emancipation route (as some have recommended), you’ll have to weigh very carefully the potential benefits and drawbacks of being emancipated. How bad for you mental health is living at home and caring for your dad? Are you paid to do this? Could you find employment that you enjoy more, and that could help you support yourself as you begin your academic career? It sounds like, ideally, you would get yourself a different living situation, which could be tenable if you got financial scholarships that footed a bill for housing. Your mother cannot legally mandate that you attend any specific college, but it sounds like she is holding you emotionally and financially hostage to be a care giver to your father. I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you don’t need to be contacting CPS to help facilitate getting you into a better living situation and to help make sure that you are eligible for all financial aid possible. Good luck! | Have you applied to any colleges? Have you been accepted? Did you receive any scholarships? You should have already filled out the FASFA for next year. You will need your parents financials for this. If you haven’t already done any of this, a community college might be your best bet. Your parents aren’t obligated to pay for your college. You do not want to have 100k worth of loans to pay back. | 0 | 4,565 | 3 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugilxj | iugn4b1 | 1,667,187,284 | 1,667,190,021 | 3 | 15 | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | Have you applied to any colleges? Have you been accepted? Did you receive any scholarships? You should have already filled out the FASFA for next year. You will need your parents financials for this. If you haven’t already done any of this, a community college might be your best bet. Your parents aren’t obligated to pay for your college. You do not want to have 100k worth of loans to pay back. | 0 | 2,737 | 5 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuglr8a | iugn4b1 | 1,667,189,142 | 1,667,190,021 | 3 | 15 | 1. You can go where ever you like once you turn 18 (depending on local law) 2. Your mom can refuse to pay for your school. 3. You can delay a term if you think you cannot register to the place you want to go in time. 4. Learn about programs at that college if they are transferable to the school you like to go. I delayed for a year because I wanted to earn my own university funds. So it’s not end of the world for you to delay a term. | Have you applied to any colleges? Have you been accepted? Did you receive any scholarships? You should have already filled out the FASFA for next year. You will need your parents financials for this. If you haven’t already done any of this, a community college might be your best bet. Your parents aren’t obligated to pay for your college. You do not want to have 100k worth of loans to pay back. | 0 | 879 | 5 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugn4b1 | iuglsry | 1,667,190,021 | 1,667,189,168 | 15 | 3 | Have you applied to any colleges? Have you been accepted? Did you receive any scholarships? You should have already filled out the FASFA for next year. You will need your parents financials for this. If you haven’t already done any of this, a community college might be your best bet. Your parents aren’t obligated to pay for your college. You do not want to have 100k worth of loans to pay back. | No she can’t force you. But once your 18 she’s also not obligated to financially support you. So If you want to go to college far away cut ties, get a job, become independent and not dependent. Only problem is she may still claim you as dependent and that could affect your ability to qualify for financial aid | 1 | 853 | 5 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugrr57 | iugf6tk | 1,667,193,329 | 1,667,185,456 | 12 | 5 | Not a lawyer but if you’re set on not going/staying at the CC your mom picked out for you, you need to start planning early for the future. Once you hit 18 she can’t stop you from anything, but she *can* cut off all financial support. You’re still in high school. Boost your grades as much as you can, bust your ass on the SAT/ACT. Use it to get a good scholarship, look at in-state flagships and universities known for being generous with money. It’s probably the most feasible way for you to achieve independence at college while not tacking on a shitton of debt. Good luck | Hi OP. This is not legal advice per se, and I honestly don’t know which subreddit to recommend to help you find the best resolution/outcome, but I’ve seen no mention of addressing your mental health and you essentially being an indentured servant to take care of your disabled father (and that situation, as you describe it, really is not ok). I’m sorry you are in this situation. I just wanted you to know that if you choose the emancipation route (as some have recommended), you’ll have to weigh very carefully the potential benefits and drawbacks of being emancipated. How bad for you mental health is living at home and caring for your dad? Are you paid to do this? Could you find employment that you enjoy more, and that could help you support yourself as you begin your academic career? It sounds like, ideally, you would get yourself a different living situation, which could be tenable if you got financial scholarships that footed a bill for housing. Your mother cannot legally mandate that you attend any specific college, but it sounds like she is holding you emotionally and financially hostage to be a care giver to your father. I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you don’t need to be contacting CPS to help facilitate getting you into a better living situation and to help make sure that you are eligible for all financial aid possible. Good luck! | 1 | 7,873 | 2.4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugrr57 | iugilxj | 1,667,193,329 | 1,667,187,284 | 12 | 3 | Not a lawyer but if you’re set on not going/staying at the CC your mom picked out for you, you need to start planning early for the future. Once you hit 18 she can’t stop you from anything, but she *can* cut off all financial support. You’re still in high school. Boost your grades as much as you can, bust your ass on the SAT/ACT. Use it to get a good scholarship, look at in-state flagships and universities known for being generous with money. It’s probably the most feasible way for you to achieve independence at college while not tacking on a shitton of debt. Good luck | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | 1 | 6,045 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuglr8a | iugrr57 | 1,667,189,142 | 1,667,193,329 | 3 | 12 | 1. You can go where ever you like once you turn 18 (depending on local law) 2. Your mom can refuse to pay for your school. 3. You can delay a term if you think you cannot register to the place you want to go in time. 4. Learn about programs at that college if they are transferable to the school you like to go. I delayed for a year because I wanted to earn my own university funds. So it’s not end of the world for you to delay a term. | Not a lawyer but if you’re set on not going/staying at the CC your mom picked out for you, you need to start planning early for the future. Once you hit 18 she can’t stop you from anything, but she *can* cut off all financial support. You’re still in high school. Boost your grades as much as you can, bust your ass on the SAT/ACT. Use it to get a good scholarship, look at in-state flagships and universities known for being generous with money. It’s probably the most feasible way for you to achieve independence at college while not tacking on a shitton of debt. Good luck | 0 | 4,187 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugrr57 | iuglsry | 1,667,193,329 | 1,667,189,168 | 12 | 3 | Not a lawyer but if you’re set on not going/staying at the CC your mom picked out for you, you need to start planning early for the future. Once you hit 18 she can’t stop you from anything, but she *can* cut off all financial support. You’re still in high school. Boost your grades as much as you can, bust your ass on the SAT/ACT. Use it to get a good scholarship, look at in-state flagships and universities known for being generous with money. It’s probably the most feasible way for you to achieve independence at college while not tacking on a shitton of debt. Good luck | No she can’t force you. But once your 18 she’s also not obligated to financially support you. So If you want to go to college far away cut ties, get a job, become independent and not dependent. Only problem is she may still claim you as dependent and that could affect your ability to qualify for financial aid | 1 | 4,161 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugf6tk | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,185,456 | 1,667,211,971 | 5 | 8 | Hi OP. This is not legal advice per se, and I honestly don’t know which subreddit to recommend to help you find the best resolution/outcome, but I’ve seen no mention of addressing your mental health and you essentially being an indentured servant to take care of your disabled father (and that situation, as you describe it, really is not ok). I’m sorry you are in this situation. I just wanted you to know that if you choose the emancipation route (as some have recommended), you’ll have to weigh very carefully the potential benefits and drawbacks of being emancipated. How bad for you mental health is living at home and caring for your dad? Are you paid to do this? Could you find employment that you enjoy more, and that could help you support yourself as you begin your academic career? It sounds like, ideally, you would get yourself a different living situation, which could be tenable if you got financial scholarships that footed a bill for housing. Your mother cannot legally mandate that you attend any specific college, but it sounds like she is holding you emotionally and financially hostage to be a care giver to your father. I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you don’t need to be contacting CPS to help facilitate getting you into a better living situation and to help make sure that you are eligible for all financial aid possible. Good luck! | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 26,515 | 1.6 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuguf2x | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,195,459 | 1,667,211,971 | 4 | 8 | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 16,512 | 2 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugilxj | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,187,284 | 1,667,211,971 | 3 | 8 | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 24,687 | 2.666667 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcmx2 | iuglr8a | 1,667,211,971 | 1,667,189,142 | 8 | 3 | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 1. You can go where ever you like once you turn 18 (depending on local law) 2. Your mom can refuse to pay for your school. 3. You can delay a term if you think you cannot register to the place you want to go in time. 4. Learn about programs at that college if they are transferable to the school you like to go. I delayed for a year because I wanted to earn my own university funds. So it’s not end of the world for you to delay a term. | 1 | 22,829 | 2.666667 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuglsry | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,189,168 | 1,667,211,971 | 3 | 8 | No she can’t force you. But once your 18 she’s also not obligated to financially support you. So If you want to go to college far away cut ties, get a job, become independent and not dependent. Only problem is she may still claim you as dependent and that could affect your ability to qualify for financial aid | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 22,803 | 2.666667 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcmx2 | iuh4kgx | 1,667,211,971 | 1,667,204,701 | 8 | 2 | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | LEGALLY, once you turn 18, you can do whatever you want; as can your parents. \>My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. It's your choice if you want to take care of your disabled dad, however I don't think a teenager should be legally liable to take care of another person. \>she always goes “You’re going to \[community college\] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. FINANCIALLY, I agree with her decision. Community college is great to knock out your General Education classes (at least in California). I also know in California community college is free for low income - which you will be if you are living by yourself. My opinion: 1. Contact a lawyer to see if YOU, a child, should be taken care of an adult. 2. Nod and agree with your mother, until you're 18, then bounce. | 1 | 7,270 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugtsrb | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,194,947 | 1,667,211,971 | 2 | 8 | Your mom can't force you to go to a school of her choice. She CAN refuse you give you any financial assistance. (If there's money in a 529, that belongs to your parents, not you.) | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 17,024 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugxda3 | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,198,060 | 1,667,211,971 | 2 | 8 | She cant tell you what to do after you’re 18. That being said, if you need financial aid to go to school, you’ll need your parents tax info for the FAFSA, so she could manipulate you with that. Also the cost of living is expensive. Would you even be able to afford to go to school AND live away from home without their support? | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 13,911 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuh6e5a | iuhcmx2 | 1,667,206,428 | 1,667,211,971 | 2 | 8 | I highly recommend going to community college for your gen eds and saving the money but otherwise, no. | Just whatever you do, try not to go into debt. Take one, maybe two courses at a time. Work while you study. Student loans are predatory. | 0 | 5,543 | 4 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcpyq | iugf6tk | 1,667,212,042 | 1,667,185,456 | 6 | 5 | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | Hi OP. This is not legal advice per se, and I honestly don’t know which subreddit to recommend to help you find the best resolution/outcome, but I’ve seen no mention of addressing your mental health and you essentially being an indentured servant to take care of your disabled father (and that situation, as you describe it, really is not ok). I’m sorry you are in this situation. I just wanted you to know that if you choose the emancipation route (as some have recommended), you’ll have to weigh very carefully the potential benefits and drawbacks of being emancipated. How bad for you mental health is living at home and caring for your dad? Are you paid to do this? Could you find employment that you enjoy more, and that could help you support yourself as you begin your academic career? It sounds like, ideally, you would get yourself a different living situation, which could be tenable if you got financial scholarships that footed a bill for housing. Your mother cannot legally mandate that you attend any specific college, but it sounds like she is holding you emotionally and financially hostage to be a care giver to your father. I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you don’t need to be contacting CPS to help facilitate getting you into a better living situation and to help make sure that you are eligible for all financial aid possible. Good luck! | 1 | 26,586 | 1.2 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuguf2x | iuhcpyq | 1,667,195,459 | 1,667,212,042 | 4 | 6 | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 0 | 16,583 | 1.5 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugilxj | iuhcpyq | 1,667,187,284 | 1,667,212,042 | 3 | 6 | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 0 | 24,758 | 2 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcpyq | iuglr8a | 1,667,212,042 | 1,667,189,142 | 6 | 3 | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 1. You can go where ever you like once you turn 18 (depending on local law) 2. Your mom can refuse to pay for your school. 3. You can delay a term if you think you cannot register to the place you want to go in time. 4. Learn about programs at that college if they are transferable to the school you like to go. I delayed for a year because I wanted to earn my own university funds. So it’s not end of the world for you to delay a term. | 1 | 22,900 | 2 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcpyq | iuglsry | 1,667,212,042 | 1,667,189,168 | 6 | 3 | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | No she can’t force you. But once your 18 she’s also not obligated to financially support you. So If you want to go to college far away cut ties, get a job, become independent and not dependent. Only problem is she may still claim you as dependent and that could affect your ability to qualify for financial aid | 1 | 22,874 | 2 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuh4kgx | iuhcpyq | 1,667,204,701 | 1,667,212,042 | 2 | 6 | LEGALLY, once you turn 18, you can do whatever you want; as can your parents. \>My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. It's your choice if you want to take care of your disabled dad, however I don't think a teenager should be legally liable to take care of another person. \>she always goes “You’re going to \[community college\] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. FINANCIALLY, I agree with her decision. Community college is great to knock out your General Education classes (at least in California). I also know in California community college is free for low income - which you will be if you are living by yourself. My opinion: 1. Contact a lawyer to see if YOU, a child, should be taken care of an adult. 2. Nod and agree with your mother, until you're 18, then bounce. | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 0 | 7,341 | 3 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugtsrb | iuhcpyq | 1,667,194,947 | 1,667,212,042 | 2 | 6 | Your mom can't force you to go to a school of her choice. She CAN refuse you give you any financial assistance. (If there's money in a 529, that belongs to your parents, not you.) | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 0 | 17,095 | 3 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuhcpyq | iugxda3 | 1,667,212,042 | 1,667,198,060 | 6 | 2 | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | She cant tell you what to do after you’re 18. That being said, if you need financial aid to go to school, you’ll need your parents tax info for the FAFSA, so she could manipulate you with that. Also the cost of living is expensive. Would you even be able to afford to go to school AND live away from home without their support? | 1 | 13,982 | 3 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuh6e5a | iuhcpyq | 1,667,206,428 | 1,667,212,042 | 2 | 6 | I highly recommend going to community college for your gen eds and saving the money but otherwise, no. | I mean if your parents are paying for your college, you gotta do what they want. My suggestion will be go to community college first and then transfer to some other college. Save some money while you're at community college. | 0 | 5,614 | 3 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugilxj | iuguf2x | 1,667,187,284 | 1,667,195,459 | 3 | 4 | Is she paying for you to go to college, and will you be 18 when you go? Of you’re a legal adult and she’s not paying for college, she has no control over here you go to school. But start working on earning scholarships and saving money to get there now. Cause if you leave you’re gonna be on your own. I just read that she started a college fund for you-if you plan on leaving, forget about that money. She has control of it and it’s ultimately her money and you won’t have free access to it. Good luck. | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | 0 | 8,175 | 1.333333 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuguf2x | iuglr8a | 1,667,195,459 | 1,667,189,142 | 4 | 3 | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | 1. You can go where ever you like once you turn 18 (depending on local law) 2. Your mom can refuse to pay for your school. 3. You can delay a term if you think you cannot register to the place you want to go in time. 4. Learn about programs at that college if they are transferable to the school you like to go. I delayed for a year because I wanted to earn my own university funds. So it’s not end of the world for you to delay a term. | 1 | 6,317 | 1.333333 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iuglsry | iuguf2x | 1,667,189,168 | 1,667,195,459 | 3 | 4 | No she can’t force you. But once your 18 she’s also not obligated to financially support you. So If you want to go to college far away cut ties, get a job, become independent and not dependent. Only problem is she may still claim you as dependent and that could affect your ability to qualify for financial aid | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | 0 | 6,291 | 1.333333 |
yhv20d | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Can my mom decide which college I go to? I (16) am a junior in high school, and will graduate high school at 17. My mom (56) wants me to go to a community college nearby so I can stay at home. I want to go to a college far away. That was always our plan up until a few years ago. I don’t want to stay at home because it would impact my mental health in a big way. However my mom wants to try to force me to go to the community college. Do I have a choice? My mom wants me to stay home so she can watch over me and so I can take care of my disabled dad, like I’ve always done. I want to go to a far college because I am tired of taking care of him and I don’t want to feel trapped and controlled under my moms watch. Whenever the subject comes up, she always goes “You’re going to [community college] and that’s final.” And I never feel heard. | iugtsrb | iuguf2x | 1,667,194,947 | 1,667,195,459 | 2 | 4 | Your mom can't force you to go to a school of her choice. She CAN refuse you give you any financial assistance. (If there's money in a 529, that belongs to your parents, not you.) | This one is pretty simple. If mom is paying for school and you want her to then you do it her way, if you want to do it your way you will likely have to take student loans. It is your choice but do not feel entitled to what is someone else's money. If you want it bad enough you can make it work, but if you go to a school far away you need to make sure you hold yourself accountable and get your school work done. As others have said, your BEST bet is going to community college for 2 years(the credits will be cheap, likely your mom cannot afford big school prices or just plain doesn't want to, which is fair) and transfer to a school you want to go to. | 0 | 512 | 2 |
ic63ss | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | IA Derecho - neighbor's trees were not over my property before the storm, but they cut them down so that they fell on my property and are now saying it is my problem. My city in IA was hit with a "land hurricane" called a derecho and we are dealing with the aftermath. On my neighbor's side of the property line he had 4 large trees that were very tall but not very wide (branches go pretty much straight up) - a couple branches maybe extended a foot or two over the property line, but we're talking about the very tips of branches, mostly leaves. Because of the wind direction during the storm, all of the branches that broke off the tree landed on my neighbor's property rather than my own. However, they lost so many branches that he had the entire trees all cut down. They cut them down aiming them toward MY property instead. The neighbor is saying that they had to cut them down that way or they would fall on his fence. He's also insisting that because they had to be cut down due to storm damage, this is all an "act of god" and now that they have fallen on my property, they are my problem to deal with. But again, the trees did NOT fall in the storm - he had them intentionally cut down after the fact and aimed them over to my side of the property line. What are my rights on this? Can I do anything to compel my neighbor to deal with this himself? If I DO have to pay a company to deal with it, can I sue my neighbor for the cost? | g20uekd | g21a6lh | 1,597,779,643 | 1,597,786,926 | 95 | 159 | If the tree were to have fallen onto your property you would be responsible. Since he had them cut he is responsible. Make sure to take pictures of the tree/ tree stumps showing the cuts. You should also be able to contact the tree company as they should know better than to cut trees and leave them in someone else's yard. | Get a quote for cleanup of the mess he made. Send him, and the sons if they are over 18, a demand letter for that amount with a reasonable end date, such as 30 days from the date of receipt. On day 31, sue him, and the sons if they are over 18, in small claims for that amount plus any court filing fees and any other costs you incur due to his actions. You're suing everyone who may be responsible and letting he judge will decide who is responsible for what percentage of the costs you've incurred. As others said, if the storm knocked apparently healthy trees down, THAT'S an act of god. Him having his kids become amateur loggers is the act of an idiot and the idiot bears responsibility for cleaning it up. | 0 | 7,283 | 1.673684 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0ulqtg | i0u3p5y | 1,647,407,602 | 1,647,398,049 | 369 | 102 | Wow find out what department they work in and submit a claim to their internal affairs department, speak to the DA on the case and document everything. They are trying to intimidate you. They have no business talking to you about this especially in an "official" capacity. If your charged with a thing which I doubt get a lawyer before talking to anyone - you might want a consult with one to get ahead of anything | If you know where that other family member police officer is from, like which police department, you should file a complaint with them. They are not supposed to do stuff like that. | 1 | 9,553 | 3.617647 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0uzt2b | i0ut2p7 | 1,647,418,432 | 1,647,412,867 | 91 | 56 | The driver and has dad are making baseless threats and don't know what they are talking about. They don't have any authority to pursue evidence tampering charges against you and nothing you did sounds like it would even qualify anyways. They are just trying to bully you. | Don't you worry a single bit OP!!! That "officer" who came to your house, came under false pretenses, he's in so much trouble that he doesn't even realize!!!! | 1 | 5,565 | 1.625 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0wpa0h | i0vq32w | 1,647,451,311 | 1,647,436,584 | 28 | 11 | This isn't evidence tampering, and even if it was you have a good defense. It's not tampering because you still have the original and sent a copy to the proper party. The defendant would have a right to a copy of the video in discovery anyway, so even if you weren't supposed to give him a copy, he would have gotten it. Further, the video is your property, showing a public place. You can give it to whoever you want. As to defense, if you needed one, you reasonably believed the officer had investigatory authority. Commission of evidence tampering requires malice aforethought, aka you did it for the purpose of destroying evidence. Giving evidence to a police officer does not indicate intent to destroy evidence: actually, it indicates the opposite. The only crime here was committed by the officer. He may be charged with witness tampering or some abuse of police power crime. | Are you sure it's you that is being charged? Because it sounds like the second cop and his family may be on the hook but I can't see how you would be. I would advise not panicking, keep the video and leave well alone. If the police ask to speak to you, say no until you've consulted a lawyer. | 1 | 14,727 | 2.545455 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0wpa0h | i0w3pb6 | 1,647,451,311 | 1,647,442,548 | 28 | 14 | This isn't evidence tampering, and even if it was you have a good defense. It's not tampering because you still have the original and sent a copy to the proper party. The defendant would have a right to a copy of the video in discovery anyway, so even if you weren't supposed to give him a copy, he would have gotten it. Further, the video is your property, showing a public place. You can give it to whoever you want. As to defense, if you needed one, you reasonably believed the officer had investigatory authority. Commission of evidence tampering requires malice aforethought, aka you did it for the purpose of destroying evidence. Giving evidence to a police officer does not indicate intent to destroy evidence: actually, it indicates the opposite. The only crime here was committed by the officer. He may be charged with witness tampering or some abuse of police power crime. | The driver cannot press charges. Only the district attorney can. There is such a thing as evidence tampering but you didn’t commit it. You gave the evidence in good faith and also provided it to law enforcement. If anything (depending on local juristiction) the driver might have an objection over the non local law enforcement getting it for whatever reason. It’s your tape. You could have given it to the local news to run during a segment. If there was any wrongdoing, it was by the police, not you. I would, just to make things easier, keep the original tape for a long time. | 1 | 8,763 | 2 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0wpa0h | i0wovtf | 1,647,451,311 | 1,647,451,156 | 28 | 8 | This isn't evidence tampering, and even if it was you have a good defense. It's not tampering because you still have the original and sent a copy to the proper party. The defendant would have a right to a copy of the video in discovery anyway, so even if you weren't supposed to give him a copy, he would have gotten it. Further, the video is your property, showing a public place. You can give it to whoever you want. As to defense, if you needed one, you reasonably believed the officer had investigatory authority. Commission of evidence tampering requires malice aforethought, aka you did it for the purpose of destroying evidence. Giving evidence to a police officer does not indicate intent to destroy evidence: actually, it indicates the opposite. The only crime here was committed by the officer. He may be charged with witness tampering or some abuse of police power crime. | Did the driver/father email you or call you? If they sent it in writing, make sure you save it and send it to the police as well. | 1 | 155 | 3.5 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0w1byf | i0wpa0h | 1,647,441,582 | 1,647,451,311 | 9 | 28 | Evidence tampering would have to be deliberate to be proven, which in this case it's clearly not, you were tricked. Rest easy. | This isn't evidence tampering, and even if it was you have a good defense. It's not tampering because you still have the original and sent a copy to the proper party. The defendant would have a right to a copy of the video in discovery anyway, so even if you weren't supposed to give him a copy, he would have gotten it. Further, the video is your property, showing a public place. You can give it to whoever you want. As to defense, if you needed one, you reasonably believed the officer had investigatory authority. Commission of evidence tampering requires malice aforethought, aka you did it for the purpose of destroying evidence. Giving evidence to a police officer does not indicate intent to destroy evidence: actually, it indicates the opposite. The only crime here was committed by the officer. He may be charged with witness tampering or some abuse of police power crime. | 0 | 9,729 | 3.111111 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0w3pb6 | i0vq32w | 1,647,442,548 | 1,647,436,584 | 14 | 11 | The driver cannot press charges. Only the district attorney can. There is such a thing as evidence tampering but you didn’t commit it. You gave the evidence in good faith and also provided it to law enforcement. If anything (depending on local juristiction) the driver might have an objection over the non local law enforcement getting it for whatever reason. It’s your tape. You could have given it to the local news to run during a segment. If there was any wrongdoing, it was by the police, not you. I would, just to make things easier, keep the original tape for a long time. | Are you sure it's you that is being charged? Because it sounds like the second cop and his family may be on the hook but I can't see how you would be. I would advise not panicking, keep the video and leave well alone. If the police ask to speak to you, say no until you've consulted a lawyer. | 1 | 5,964 | 1.272727 |
tf5sno | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My location is the state of California, United States of America. I may be charged with something called evidence tampering I've never been charged with anything before and I admit I'm worried. On my street there was a collision. I wasn't home at the time but a driver hit several parked cars and other property and then left on foot. I found out when I got back. The police were gone but I called them because I have a camera as I live on the ground floor. The police officer I spoke to let me know how I could send my footage to the department. The next day an officer came to my door. The officer said they were canvassing for witnesses after what happened with the collision. I told him I spoke with his colleague and had sent in my footage. He asked me to send it to his mobile as well. That officer tricked me. He was a police officer, he was wearing a uniform so I had no reason not to believe him. He was from a different police department than where I live. He's related to the driver who caused the damage on my street. I let the police officer I spoke with on the phone know about this. I had no idea but now the driver and his father have said they'll press charges against me for something they called evidence tampering. I looked it up and it is a real thing. They say I mishandled and comprised the evidence in his case and I'll be charged accordingly. I'm not even sure where to begin. My location is the state of California in the United States of America. I'm not a citizen but I'm here legally on a student visa. I'm most afraid of my visa being affected. Do I have any recourse? I honestly didn't realize the officer at my door was not from here. | i0w1byf | i0w3pb6 | 1,647,441,582 | 1,647,442,548 | 9 | 14 | Evidence tampering would have to be deliberate to be proven, which in this case it's clearly not, you were tricked. Rest easy. | The driver cannot press charges. Only the district attorney can. There is such a thing as evidence tampering but you didn’t commit it. You gave the evidence in good faith and also provided it to law enforcement. If anything (depending on local juristiction) the driver might have an objection over the non local law enforcement getting it for whatever reason. It’s your tape. You could have given it to the local news to run during a segment. If there was any wrongdoing, it was by the police, not you. I would, just to make things easier, keep the original tape for a long time. | 0 | 966 | 1.555556 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1ms3e7 | e1mpr0z | 1,530,493,551 | 1,530,491,220 | 290 | 111 | Call the police and have her trespassed from your property. Just say she's continually in your yard, you've asked her nicely to stay on the sidewalk, and she is not a reasonable individual. Then request she be trespassed. Theyll let her know she's not welcome on your property and she will be arrested upon returning. That's what I'd do, but I also have little to no patience for bullshit, especially when it comes to my house and family. | Make sure Dayton doesn't have any weird ordinances governing fences in front yards. A friend of mine lives in an area, in Ohio where they are banned. My neighborhood, between Cincinnati and Dayton, doesn't have one so I would check before you spend money. | 1 | 2,331 | 2.612613 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1ms3e7 | e1mkec6 | 1,530,493,551 | 1,530,485,302 | 290 | 20 | Call the police and have her trespassed from your property. Just say she's continually in your yard, you've asked her nicely to stay on the sidewalk, and she is not a reasonable individual. Then request she be trespassed. Theyll let her know she's not welcome on your property and she will be arrested upon returning. That's what I'd do, but I also have little to no patience for bullshit, especially when it comes to my house and family. | If you can afford and are allowed where you are a privacy fence I highly recommend it. | 1 | 8,249 | 14.5 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1mpr0z | e1nnays | 1,530,491,220 | 1,530,540,459 | 111 | 275 | Make sure Dayton doesn't have any weird ordinances governing fences in front yards. A friend of mine lives in an area, in Ohio where they are banned. My neighborhood, between Cincinnati and Dayton, doesn't have one so I would check before you spend money. | I am not a lawyer, I live in Ohio. We had a similar issue with the guy next door (and his nutso wife). The guy would use our yard to turn around his mower while cutting the grass, spray all the now cut grass into our yard, and he cuts his grass so low it kicks up dirt etc whereas we dont cut our grass that low so there was a distinct difference in height on OUR property. The guy would also turn cars around using our yard (he has a back garage with no drive so he'd drive over his lawn and then over our yard to to park a car into the back garage). We called the non-ER line for the police and they came out. We took pics, have security cameras etc which we showed the cops and he was asked to stop cutting our grass and turning his cars around on our lot. He was told to stay off our property. Cue to now he's pissed and decided he wasn't going to listen to the cops and this continued. We just let the security cameras do the work for us and continued to gather evidence he hadn't stopped. Then, the final straw was when my 20 year old daughter came home from work and saw him just standing in the middle of our backyard staring toward our home...and her bedroom faces the back of the house. So we called the cops again who came out and gave him a ticket for criminal trespass....criminal because he had damaged our property by cutting our grass when he was told not to. It went to court and he lost. The judge said "Since it seems you like to cut the grass so much, I order you to 20 hours community service and you can cut the grass around the courthouse". This sounds to me like criminal trespass. I would continue to have the cops come out with each infraction and ask them to charge her with criminal trespass. Perhaps if she has to go to court over this, she'll stop. Your children should be able to play in their own yard without harassment. Ultimately, we fenced in our 1 acre lot ourselves. Good luck to you. | 0 | 49,239 | 2.477477 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1n0lbp | e1nnays | 1,530,503,010 | 1,530,540,459 | 38 | 275 | Not a lawyer from what I've seen in this subreddit this is what i would suggest: get cameras that record your entire front lawn (don't inform her), put up a clearly visible no trespassing sign. when she trespasses show the vid to the cops. rinse and repeat so she gets charged with criminal trespassing. also feel free to record audio at your front door/backdoor/anywhere where she makes threats so she has even more against her | I am not a lawyer, I live in Ohio. We had a similar issue with the guy next door (and his nutso wife). The guy would use our yard to turn around his mower while cutting the grass, spray all the now cut grass into our yard, and he cuts his grass so low it kicks up dirt etc whereas we dont cut our grass that low so there was a distinct difference in height on OUR property. The guy would also turn cars around using our yard (he has a back garage with no drive so he'd drive over his lawn and then over our yard to to park a car into the back garage). We called the non-ER line for the police and they came out. We took pics, have security cameras etc which we showed the cops and he was asked to stop cutting our grass and turning his cars around on our lot. He was told to stay off our property. Cue to now he's pissed and decided he wasn't going to listen to the cops and this continued. We just let the security cameras do the work for us and continued to gather evidence he hadn't stopped. Then, the final straw was when my 20 year old daughter came home from work and saw him just standing in the middle of our backyard staring toward our home...and her bedroom faces the back of the house. So we called the cops again who came out and gave him a ticket for criminal trespass....criminal because he had damaged our property by cutting our grass when he was told not to. It went to court and he lost. The judge said "Since it seems you like to cut the grass so much, I order you to 20 hours community service and you can cut the grass around the courthouse". This sounds to me like criminal trespass. I would continue to have the cops come out with each infraction and ask them to charge her with criminal trespass. Perhaps if she has to go to court over this, she'll stop. Your children should be able to play in their own yard without harassment. Ultimately, we fenced in our 1 acre lot ourselves. Good luck to you. | 0 | 37,449 | 7.236842 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1mkec6 | e1nnays | 1,530,485,302 | 1,530,540,459 | 20 | 275 | If you can afford and are allowed where you are a privacy fence I highly recommend it. | I am not a lawyer, I live in Ohio. We had a similar issue with the guy next door (and his nutso wife). The guy would use our yard to turn around his mower while cutting the grass, spray all the now cut grass into our yard, and he cuts his grass so low it kicks up dirt etc whereas we dont cut our grass that low so there was a distinct difference in height on OUR property. The guy would also turn cars around using our yard (he has a back garage with no drive so he'd drive over his lawn and then over our yard to to park a car into the back garage). We called the non-ER line for the police and they came out. We took pics, have security cameras etc which we showed the cops and he was asked to stop cutting our grass and turning his cars around on our lot. He was told to stay off our property. Cue to now he's pissed and decided he wasn't going to listen to the cops and this continued. We just let the security cameras do the work for us and continued to gather evidence he hadn't stopped. Then, the final straw was when my 20 year old daughter came home from work and saw him just standing in the middle of our backyard staring toward our home...and her bedroom faces the back of the house. So we called the cops again who came out and gave him a ticket for criminal trespass....criminal because he had damaged our property by cutting our grass when he was told not to. It went to court and he lost. The judge said "Since it seems you like to cut the grass so much, I order you to 20 hours community service and you can cut the grass around the courthouse". This sounds to me like criminal trespass. I would continue to have the cops come out with each infraction and ask them to charge her with criminal trespass. Perhaps if she has to go to court over this, she'll stop. Your children should be able to play in their own yard without harassment. Ultimately, we fenced in our 1 acre lot ourselves. Good luck to you. | 0 | 55,157 | 13.75 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1nnays | e1nbaqj | 1,530,540,459 | 1,530,520,527 | 275 | 15 | I am not a lawyer, I live in Ohio. We had a similar issue with the guy next door (and his nutso wife). The guy would use our yard to turn around his mower while cutting the grass, spray all the now cut grass into our yard, and he cuts his grass so low it kicks up dirt etc whereas we dont cut our grass that low so there was a distinct difference in height on OUR property. The guy would also turn cars around using our yard (he has a back garage with no drive so he'd drive over his lawn and then over our yard to to park a car into the back garage). We called the non-ER line for the police and they came out. We took pics, have security cameras etc which we showed the cops and he was asked to stop cutting our grass and turning his cars around on our lot. He was told to stay off our property. Cue to now he's pissed and decided he wasn't going to listen to the cops and this continued. We just let the security cameras do the work for us and continued to gather evidence he hadn't stopped. Then, the final straw was when my 20 year old daughter came home from work and saw him just standing in the middle of our backyard staring toward our home...and her bedroom faces the back of the house. So we called the cops again who came out and gave him a ticket for criminal trespass....criminal because he had damaged our property by cutting our grass when he was told not to. It went to court and he lost. The judge said "Since it seems you like to cut the grass so much, I order you to 20 hours community service and you can cut the grass around the courthouse". This sounds to me like criminal trespass. I would continue to have the cops come out with each infraction and ask them to charge her with criminal trespass. Perhaps if she has to go to court over this, she'll stop. Your children should be able to play in their own yard without harassment. Ultimately, we fenced in our 1 acre lot ourselves. Good luck to you. | Firstly, you should make sure you record her trespassing. I’m absolutely not doubting your story, but it might trouble your case when you present a completely one-sided story like this, where the woman is an unhinged maniac and you have done nothing but maintain your cool under every circumstance, and have no video evidence to show for it. If you need to, get a wider-angle camera. Post a no trespassing sign (just for good measure, even though trespassing is still illegal without it), and make sure you capture footage of her coming o to your yard. You should have no trouble getting multiple pieces of evidence if she does it every hour as you state. Cameras are pretty inexpensive compared to the security they provide. Invest in it and stop this from happening. | 1 | 19,932 | 18.333333 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1mveye | e1nnays | 1,530,497,105 | 1,530,540,459 | 11 | 275 | You seem to have everything well in hand so far. Try and get some more cameras to cover the entire yard as best you can. Keep them hidden as best you can in case the neighbor tries and damages/destroys them. Also, look into buying some pepper gel spray or what ever you are comfortable with for self defense in case your neighbor escalates anything with either you, your husband, or God forbid your children.* Also, inform the police again of what she is doing and continuing to do, everything she has said, threatened, and implied. Try and push it up chain as much as you can until you get a response you want. Look into contacting a lawyer as well, can't really say what speciality would be best right now though. Others may know more on what kind to recommend. *Ohio currently does not have any restrictions on pepper spray, so get whatever you want. | I am not a lawyer, I live in Ohio. We had a similar issue with the guy next door (and his nutso wife). The guy would use our yard to turn around his mower while cutting the grass, spray all the now cut grass into our yard, and he cuts his grass so low it kicks up dirt etc whereas we dont cut our grass that low so there was a distinct difference in height on OUR property. The guy would also turn cars around using our yard (he has a back garage with no drive so he'd drive over his lawn and then over our yard to to park a car into the back garage). We called the non-ER line for the police and they came out. We took pics, have security cameras etc which we showed the cops and he was asked to stop cutting our grass and turning his cars around on our lot. He was told to stay off our property. Cue to now he's pissed and decided he wasn't going to listen to the cops and this continued. We just let the security cameras do the work for us and continued to gather evidence he hadn't stopped. Then, the final straw was when my 20 year old daughter came home from work and saw him just standing in the middle of our backyard staring toward our home...and her bedroom faces the back of the house. So we called the cops again who came out and gave him a ticket for criminal trespass....criminal because he had damaged our property by cutting our grass when he was told not to. It went to court and he lost. The judge said "Since it seems you like to cut the grass so much, I order you to 20 hours community service and you can cut the grass around the courthouse". This sounds to me like criminal trespass. I would continue to have the cops come out with each infraction and ask them to charge her with criminal trespass. Perhaps if she has to go to court over this, she'll stop. Your children should be able to play in their own yard without harassment. Ultimately, we fenced in our 1 acre lot ourselves. Good luck to you. | 0 | 43,354 | 25 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1mkec6 | e1mpr0z | 1,530,485,302 | 1,530,491,220 | 20 | 111 | If you can afford and are allowed where you are a privacy fence I highly recommend it. | Make sure Dayton doesn't have any weird ordinances governing fences in front yards. A friend of mine lives in an area, in Ohio where they are banned. My neighborhood, between Cincinnati and Dayton, doesn't have one so I would check before you spend money. | 0 | 5,918 | 5.55 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1n0lbp | e1mkec6 | 1,530,503,010 | 1,530,485,302 | 38 | 20 | Not a lawyer from what I've seen in this subreddit this is what i would suggest: get cameras that record your entire front lawn (don't inform her), put up a clearly visible no trespassing sign. when she trespasses show the vid to the cops. rinse and repeat so she gets charged with criminal trespassing. also feel free to record audio at your front door/backdoor/anywhere where she makes threats so she has even more against her | If you can afford and are allowed where you are a privacy fence I highly recommend it. | 1 | 17,708 | 1.9 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1n0lbp | e1mveye | 1,530,503,010 | 1,530,497,105 | 38 | 11 | Not a lawyer from what I've seen in this subreddit this is what i would suggest: get cameras that record your entire front lawn (don't inform her), put up a clearly visible no trespassing sign. when she trespasses show the vid to the cops. rinse and repeat so she gets charged with criminal trespassing. also feel free to record audio at your front door/backdoor/anywhere where she makes threats so she has even more against her | You seem to have everything well in hand so far. Try and get some more cameras to cover the entire yard as best you can. Keep them hidden as best you can in case the neighbor tries and damages/destroys them. Also, look into buying some pepper gel spray or what ever you are comfortable with for self defense in case your neighbor escalates anything with either you, your husband, or God forbid your children.* Also, inform the police again of what she is doing and continuing to do, everything she has said, threatened, and implied. Try and push it up chain as much as you can until you get a response you want. Look into contacting a lawyer as well, can't really say what speciality would be best right now though. Others may know more on what kind to recommend. *Ohio currently does not have any restrictions on pepper spray, so get whatever you want. | 1 | 5,905 | 3.454545 |
8vdaan | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | OH- New neighbor walking dogs into our yard to poop and leaving it. Cussing and yelling at us and our children when kindly confronted. Warning, long post. We bought a new home in early May and officially moved in on June 13, three weeks ago. We are on a dead end and have one neighbor. She has 4 small dogs that she walks on leashes in the front every hour or so. The dogs continually poop in our yard and she does not pick it up. Because of the length of the leashes we were always positive that she was physically walking them onto our yard, letting them poop, and then leaving it. We eventually saw her do this. This past Wednesday I asked her nicely to not let her dogs poop in our yard. She immediately got defensive, eventually calling me a bitch and telling me to prove it then said “fuck you” and walked into her house. On Thursday I called the city (Dayton) and they said they couldn’t do anything and connected me to the non emergency police line. Two cops came out and talked to her. I set up an old phone with the AtHome app and put it in my window recording only my yard on this day as well. She stopped doing it for a bit. On Friday my miniature dachshund got out (thanks to kids) and peed in her yard. She came over while I was nursing my baby down and banged on the door and windows (!!!) until I came out. She terrified my 6 year old. She told me I would regret starting shit in her neighborhood and that I was a dumb bitch and how dare I call the cops, on and on. I ran in to grab my phone to record it and she went inside. Yesterday my dog was outside on his lead, in the backyard, and she came out with her dogs. They obviously barked at each other (at a distance as my dog was on his lead in the back). So she did the sane thing and told my 6 year old son to “get his fucking dog inside.” My husband kindly, without cursing or insulting, told her not to talk to our children that way. We recorded this exchange. She went on the same way talking about his “bitch hoe wife” and subtly threatening us while we killed her with kindness. This morning the app recorded her walking her dogs into the corner of my yard. Of course she is then out of view. I went out there and there is a fresh pile of shit in my yard. This woman is unhinged. She never leaves or has visitors. She has been wearing the same outfit since we moved in. She’s hostile and dirty and mean as hell. My husband is gone at work every day and I’m home alone with two small children. I’m afraid to go outside and to let my kids outside. What can I do? | e1nbaqj | e1mveye | 1,530,520,527 | 1,530,497,105 | 15 | 11 | Firstly, you should make sure you record her trespassing. I’m absolutely not doubting your story, but it might trouble your case when you present a completely one-sided story like this, where the woman is an unhinged maniac and you have done nothing but maintain your cool under every circumstance, and have no video evidence to show for it. If you need to, get a wider-angle camera. Post a no trespassing sign (just for good measure, even though trespassing is still illegal without it), and make sure you capture footage of her coming o to your yard. You should have no trouble getting multiple pieces of evidence if she does it every hour as you state. Cameras are pretty inexpensive compared to the security they provide. Invest in it and stop this from happening. | You seem to have everything well in hand so far. Try and get some more cameras to cover the entire yard as best you can. Keep them hidden as best you can in case the neighbor tries and damages/destroys them. Also, look into buying some pepper gel spray or what ever you are comfortable with for self defense in case your neighbor escalates anything with either you, your husband, or God forbid your children.* Also, inform the police again of what she is doing and continuing to do, everything she has said, threatened, and implied. Try and push it up chain as much as you can until you get a response you want. Look into contacting a lawyer as well, can't really say what speciality would be best right now though. Others may know more on what kind to recommend. *Ohio currently does not have any restrictions on pepper spray, so get whatever you want. | 1 | 23,422 | 1.363636 |
p2xmjg | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Upstairs neighbor’s dog is being let out on balcony to pee/poop and it’s dripping down to my patio. [San Antonio, TX] Hello, I have seen a number of posts pertaining to my title above, but none for my state that were helpful or recent. I am in San Antonio, TX, for reference. I was sitting on my patio two days ago and I heard a loud splash, followed by a pungent smell. I looked up to see my neighbor’s squatting dog through our wood-slat flooring. I had my suspicions that my neighbor had been doing this for some time, as a month or so prior I decided to wash my outdoor chair cushions and noticed them stained and reeking of such a foul odor. I didn’t think much of it and assumed it was dirty plant water that just was sitting there for so long it caused the stench, but I knew it smelled like urine. Since the evening incident the other day, this has happened about 3 more times since. I reached out to our apartment management via email with photos and videos, who simply just replied, “acknowledged and brought to management’s attention.” I have made sure to email them with each incident so far, but haven’t received any follow up responses, which is aggravating, but I understand this will probably be a process. Other posts have stated to inform Animal Control and the Health Dept, or to try to go above the leasing office if they are unresponsive. I’ve informed the office via email for one of the incidents that I may need to consider reaching out to animal control as this definitely seems like a case of neglect. I am at home often because I work from home and I never see our neighbors walk their dog. They seem to just throw it out on the patio and leave it there. I also mentioned I may have to pursue legal action if no action is taken as this has caused property damage to our expensive patio furniture. This has to be a clear violation of the lease, as our animal addendum portion of the lease explicitly states that pets cannot be left on the patio, and there is an entire section for animal waste stating that they are not allowed to relieve themselves on the property and must be taken off property. Any urination/defection on property is prohibited unless they’re basically using a litter box. But this also feels like it’s creating an unsanitary condition to live in, plus I can’t even use a portion of my apartment that we pay a lot of money for. I honestly just want my patio cleaned/pressure washed and for the dog to stop. I can deal with cleaning the chairs/cushions but it’s just downright disgusting. Our floors look nasty and there’s pee splatter all over our windows. I have so far seen a number of helpful responses on similar posts for different states, but what exactly should I be doing here and who should I be reaching out to for my specific area? I do not have any sort of legal experience whatsoever nor do I really have the money for an attorney. I’m also slightly afraid of any sort of retaliation from our office just because I keep sending emails of this matter voicing my frustration, but I’m trying to keep a paper trail/evidence just in case. Thanks for any advice that anyone is able to provide. | h8nmbw8 | h8njvnu | 1,628,777,054 | 1,628,775,939 | 513 | 250 | Fellow San Antonio Resident. Here is what I would do. 1) Report to 311 by calling or online https://311.sanantonio.gov/ 2) Report to Health Department. Someone else added their number. 3) (if you haven’t already) Reach out to the overall property management company, not just the onsite managers. Include previous communications, the 311 and health department reference numbers. 4) Wait a few days to see if you hear back. If not, contact your City Councilperson’s field office and ask for help. I think the most straightforward thing they could do is to call your property managers office directly to ask what is being done. They can also follow up on your reports, but it’s going to take longer than the company just handling it themselves. 4) If the management company DOES do something, please close out the reports to the City departments. One of the reasons things take so long is that reports aren’t closed when addressed and they send people out to investigate. | You need to make this management's problem. Some apartment managers don't care about things like this as long as everyone is paying rent. If this isn't remedied you should write to the landlord/manager and explain that they are breaching the covenant of quiet enjoyment by permitting the upstairs tenant to piss and shit in space you rent, and if they don't remedy this problem ASAP, you'll be taking further action. Then look at the lease and see if it sets out a process for giving the landlord time to cure a breach, declaring the landlord in default, breaking the lease, etc. | 1 | 1,115 | 2.052 |
vayigk | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | I work in a restaurant. Our AC is broken, and it's supposed to be over 100°F for the next three days, and corporate rate refuses to get us a new AC. We're supposed to be open all week. Is this legal? As the title says, it's gonna be over 100°F on Monday and Tuesday, and the AC at my job has been broken for months because corporate doesn't wanna spend the money to fix it. We have a heat advisory for the next three days, but are still gonna be open. Is this legal? If I were to, say, report this to OSHA, could they do something about it? Would corporate get in trouble, or just my managers? It's not my managers' faults at all, it's all cuz corporate won't let us get a new AC. I'm serving today, but I cook for the next two days. It's 85° in the dining room right now, I'm serving tables whilst I can feel sweat dripping down my face, in front of customers. It just feels really really wrong, and working is incredibly uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do about this? Sorry if this isn't the place for this, thanks. | ic5vqg2 | ic5tlc8 | 1,655,090,197 | 1,655,088,985 | 55 | 30 | You can try contacting the health department if you think sweat dripping off employees into food is a health hazard | obligatory "not a lawyer" https://www.osha.gov/heat-exposure/standards https://www.osha.gov/laws-regs/oshact/section\_5 there seems to be an obligation to provide adequate working conditions. heat stroke is a known thing. i wonder if it would be possible to find either a note from a medical expert (doctor) or if there's a known range of temp + humidity known to the medical community that could be supporting in setting a standard. | 1 | 1,212 | 1.833333 |
vayigk | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | I work in a restaurant. Our AC is broken, and it's supposed to be over 100°F for the next three days, and corporate rate refuses to get us a new AC. We're supposed to be open all week. Is this legal? As the title says, it's gonna be over 100°F on Monday and Tuesday, and the AC at my job has been broken for months because corporate doesn't wanna spend the money to fix it. We have a heat advisory for the next three days, but are still gonna be open. Is this legal? If I were to, say, report this to OSHA, could they do something about it? Would corporate get in trouble, or just my managers? It's not my managers' faults at all, it's all cuz corporate won't let us get a new AC. I'm serving today, but I cook for the next two days. It's 85° in the dining room right now, I'm serving tables whilst I can feel sweat dripping down my face, in front of customers. It just feels really really wrong, and working is incredibly uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do about this? Sorry if this isn't the place for this, thanks. | ic5yjyg | ic6info | 1,655,091,853 | 1,655,107,281 | 9 | 16 | What state are you in? | Not aware of any specific temperature requirements by law. The health department would be very interested in knowing the AC is down. Large buildings need a constant supply of fresh air to prevent CO2 from building up. Also your sweat dripping into food is a potential health hazard | 0 | 15,428 | 1.777778 |
5k50zy | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Girlfriend wants to place baby for adoption. I am listed on the birth certificate, but found out I am not the biological father. Do I have any options (MD)? My girlfriend has a two month old son. I believed I was the father until a couple of days ago. My girlfriend always wanted to give him up for adoption, but I was against it. She agreed to raise the baby with me. After he was born, it became clear that he wasn't my biological child. We eventually got a DNA test that revealed that I wasn't the father. My girlfriend claims that she doesn't know who the father is. She still wants to give the baby up. I would prefer to raise the child even though he isn't mine. Is there anyway I could try to adopt him? My girlfriend started contacting adoption agencies and plans to meet with some lawyers soon. She told me to stay out of it. I was just wondering if you guys can give me some advice. I would hate to be in a situation where I never see the baby again. | dble92u | dble4n0 | 1,482,616,746 | 1,482,616,554 | 505 | 74 | Wait. Hard stop. Are you still on the birth certificate? In many places even if a DNA test showing you are not the bio father being on the BC makes you the presumptive father and that gives you rights. | With you on the birth certificate, she will not have an easy time putting the child up for adoption without the courts doing a pretty rigorous job of making her show how she might have no idea who the biological father is. You are currently the legal father, if not the biological one. Your options can definitely fall out of line with your desires if she chooses to contact the biological father and he cooperates with her in adopting the child out. It's well worth your time to sit down with a family lawyer. Ultimately you may still not win, and do not hang all of your hopes and dreams on this, but you have a case to file for custody as the LEGAL parent provided she hasn't somehow managed to convince the courts in two months that a willing parent should be removed from the birth certificate and leave one. (Hint: she hasn't. The court system doesn't tend to just subtract parents from a child, biology or no.) Call family lawyers first thing Monday. It will cost money, but at this time you are indeed the father as the law sees it and she can't just tell you to back off. Ultimately some of the answers you've gotten have some merit on points but seem to have not noticed you are on the birth certificate. She'd have a hard time removing you at this point without bio dad cooperating and wanting to step in your shoes. If she really doesn't know who - and really? What are the chances of this? -- she has an uphill battle. I don't practice family law but AFAIK only Utah allows the mother to place the child without proving abandonment of the father... and the baby has one. You. | 1 | 192 | 6.824324 |
5k50zy | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Girlfriend wants to place baby for adoption. I am listed on the birth certificate, but found out I am not the biological father. Do I have any options (MD)? My girlfriend has a two month old son. I believed I was the father until a couple of days ago. My girlfriend always wanted to give him up for adoption, but I was against it. She agreed to raise the baby with me. After he was born, it became clear that he wasn't my biological child. We eventually got a DNA test that revealed that I wasn't the father. My girlfriend claims that she doesn't know who the father is. She still wants to give the baby up. I would prefer to raise the child even though he isn't mine. Is there anyway I could try to adopt him? My girlfriend started contacting adoption agencies and plans to meet with some lawyers soon. She told me to stay out of it. I was just wondering if you guys can give me some advice. I would hate to be in a situation where I never see the baby again. | dbljiar | dble4n0 | 1,482,625,278 | 1,482,616,554 | 222 | 74 | Not gonna lie, this is the first time I've seen a guy find out he isn't the father after DNA test and wants to be the dad on this sub. Props to you OP, good to see that there's still good people in this world. | With you on the birth certificate, she will not have an easy time putting the child up for adoption without the courts doing a pretty rigorous job of making her show how she might have no idea who the biological father is. You are currently the legal father, if not the biological one. Your options can definitely fall out of line with your desires if she chooses to contact the biological father and he cooperates with her in adopting the child out. It's well worth your time to sit down with a family lawyer. Ultimately you may still not win, and do not hang all of your hopes and dreams on this, but you have a case to file for custody as the LEGAL parent provided she hasn't somehow managed to convince the courts in two months that a willing parent should be removed from the birth certificate and leave one. (Hint: she hasn't. The court system doesn't tend to just subtract parents from a child, biology or no.) Call family lawyers first thing Monday. It will cost money, but at this time you are indeed the father as the law sees it and she can't just tell you to back off. Ultimately some of the answers you've gotten have some merit on points but seem to have not noticed you are on the birth certificate. She'd have a hard time removing you at this point without bio dad cooperating and wanting to step in your shoes. If she really doesn't know who - and really? What are the chances of this? -- she has an uphill battle. I don't practice family law but AFAIK only Utah allows the mother to place the child without proving abandonment of the father... and the baby has one. You. | 1 | 8,724 | 3 |
bdnhi4 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | New roommate has more or less moved her entire family into our apartment. Landlord kicks them out they come right back, police are called new roommate claims they are just visiting. Police aren't being helpful. Hi, my boyfriend recommended me to post this here as i wasn't able to get any help from the Landlord Tenant Board. I am in Ontario, Canada, and currently am on a year long lease. Me and two friends signed a lease for an apartment, back in September. In February one of our friends decided to drop out of University and overnight moved back home. We ended up being forced to find a random, we ended up finding someone who i will call CB to sign on to our lease. CB moved in at the end of March. CB's family has basically monopolized our apartment, she is renting a single room. Yet her family has been here almost every single day, taking over the entire apartment. A week after she moved in her teenage? brother also moved in with her family. Our landlord has ordered them to leave several times, sometimes they have left. Other times they say "they are visting". Police have been called multiple times, on one occasion they removed them when CB wasn't there. Other times CB keeps insisting they are just visiting, and most recently they told us that this is a domestic issue, and we need to get our landlord to deal with it. However even when they are removed they come back within a day, or less. I feel i have no privacy left in my apartment, i don't feel comfortable showering, when i have 3 other random people staring at me. On Saturday CB's father refused to let me boyfriend enter my apartment, and he lectured me about how it isn't "proper". Our landlord told us that our options are to evict her, but that can take months. He didn't seem to have any options, other than us to call the police if we feel unsafe, or they are staying when CB isn't around. Police say it is a domestic issue because they are "visiting". They have never done anything to hurt me, and have never entered my room (that i know of, but we both have decent locks with keys). But it is weird to me to have a whole family living in a small student apartment, when only a single person is supposed to be here. Long Version: When CB moved in her parents helped her move in on a Friday, and she asked if it was okay for them to stay the night, i was fine with it because neither me or my roommate were around that weekend. April 1st, we came back and discovered her parents were still there. * \[April 1st\] Told her family needs to leave, she became upset about this. But her parents did leave by end of April 1st. * \[April 4th\] Came back from work to find both her parents, along with her younger brother. Cooking. Whatever fine, i left for my boyfriends. * \[April 5th\] Came back to find her entire family still here. I told her, that her family needs to go and it isn't fair that her family is basically monopolizing the shared areas of the unit. She told me they were just visiting. By 9pm her family was basically making beds on my couch, i called landlord. * \[April 6th\] Landlord came and told them they needed to leave, CB kept insisting they were just visiting. Her family left. For \~2 hours, before they came back. I called landlord again, leading to a heated argument between CB/CB Dad/My landlord. CB family finally left. * \[April 8th\] Came home late to find her entire family in our living room, watching movies. To tired to deal with this so i went to bed. My roommate told CB that her family cant stay and needs to leave. They refused. * \[April 9th\] Get up find CB's parents/brother in our kitchen making breakfast with both me and my roommates food. I tell them they need to leave. They refuse, i call landlord, landlord calls police. CB shows up before police arrive, i explain situation to police. CB's family repeatedly says they are just visiting, police eventually say it is a civil issue, and i need to get my landlord to do something. * \[April 9th\] Eventually i give up and my landlord tells me he will deal with it. I come back later that night to find neither CB nor her family present. * \[April 10th\] Roommate finds CB's father and some random drinking in our living room in the middle of the afternoon. She calls police, police come both are removed from premises. CB spends the night screaming at us for hating family or something stupid. * \[April 11th\] CB's father is back i am guessing he snuck in during the middle of the night. Landlord tells us changing locks is pointless, and they will just make new keys. I grabbed everything valuable, and left and my roommate did the same thing. * \[April 13th\] I come back home to grab clothing, CB's father refuses to let my boyfriend into the apartment. I grab stuff and leave asap because i don't feel safe. I call my landlord, he says he will deal with it. * \[April 14th\] My roommate tells me that they are still here, i notify landlord and he doesn't respond to any of my messages. I have no idea what to do. Police say it is a domestic issue, CB says they are "just" visiting. Landlord keeps trying to do stuff but it doesn't seem to be making a difference. Frankly i cannot live in that apartment with an extra 3+ people. | ekzxfvv | ekzpvjv | 1,555,388,821 | 1,555,382,346 | 16 | 5 | This advice assumes that all three of you roommates are on one lease now. Please tell me if CB is not on your lease, because that changes things. The LTB can't give you help because your roommate isn't doing anything illegal by having her family visit. Your roommate is allowed to have guests. So are you. Neither of you can restrict the other's guests, so the only thing really actionable here is that her father isn't letting your boyfriend in. Your landlord also can't interfere with her guests. He'd actually get in trouble with the LTB if CB made a complaint. The only restriction a landlord can impose is that the number of occupants can't be unsafe or exceed municipal bylaws. Call 311 and see what your bylaw restriction is. | Your landlord needs to have the police trespass them from the property. After that, they come back, they can be arrested. If they claim they aren't living there, then they don't need to be evicted. | 1 | 6,475 | 3.2 |
zsskmu | legaladvice_train | 0.7 | Landlord Not Providing Heat - Will give money back but we have to move out I moved to LA (Lower Alabama) from Ohio. We signed a lease with a rental agency for a house to move in December 12th. We get in, and it's okay at first. You can tell they did the bare minimum to prepare for us. For example, the faucet was not attached and it leaked. We put in a maintenance request and they fixed it the next day. No problem. Well then on a cold morning, I realized the heat never kicked on. I asked if it even had heat. They had us get all the utilities set up, but there was no gas to the house, so we assumed it was central/electric. The lease agreements says they will provide heat in accordance with the law. Well it's not. It is a gas furnace. They sent someone out to look. Long story short, previous tenants cut the meter off a long time ago, so the gas company won't use those lines and would need to put in all new ones. They can't until approximately six weeks from now. Rental agency tells me the owner doesn't want to upgrade to a central unit and doesn't want us living there rent free for six weeks. They offer us all our money back (minus the application fee). To me, that's not fair compensation. There's moving costs, cancellation fees for our internet, fees to set the utilities up, etc. Not to mention the sheer agony of the whole situation caused by their negligience to me warrants more than a refund. They are legally required to provide heat and acknowledged as much in the lease agreement. Without getting into all the nitty gritty I've got everything documented of the back and forth and even my concerns with trying to use space heaters given the old wiring of this place and concerns for fire hazards. It's below freezing the next few evenings, so we asked them to shut the water off too just in case. They've ignored these concerns. What exactly are my options? This is not a situation I ever thought I'd be in. Idk how to describe what they've been putting my wife and I through beyond calling it negligience induced pain and suffering. They're supposed to call me later after I said just giving us our money back isn't enough to make the situation right considering the other costs of moving we would just have to eat... | j1ahzya | j1ah00m | 1,671,744,748 | 1,671,744,346 | 10 | 5 | Not a lawyer, lookup the Landlord Tenant law for your state. In most cases, the landlord is required to put you up in a hotel or another unit until the habitability issues are corrected. They may be trying to get rid of you cheap instead of fulfilling their obligations. | Cash for keys is reasonable. Their offer is not yet enough for you. Consider not just your costs for rent, first, last, deposit, etc (including application fee), but all your other costs to move. Counteroffer with that, and see what they say. Maybe they’ll prefer 6 wks free rent and you can go buy some space heaters in the meanwhile. | 1 | 402 | 2 |
7npqgt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | (New York) Violent older brother is being released from prison soon and claiming that he plans to move back into the home we grew up in, which is where I live Apologies in advance for the missing/vague details, but for most of my life my family has basically acted like this brother doesn't exist. As such, I only have a rough outline of the stuff that happened when I was really young, so hopefully I am not missing anything particularly relevant. I plan to speak to an attorney this week, but I don’t want to lean on my mother for any more information than is necessary. She has been in poor health lately, and I don’t want to stress her out. My oldest brother, John, was always a few steps worse than a nightmare for my family. I honestly don't remember much beyond constant screaming and fighting in my house when I was very young, but my middle brother (five years my senior) has told me bits and pieces, most of it involving John physically abusing my parents from the time he grew large enough to be able to take our father on. He spent high school at a residential school/treatment center, but came home for weekends and holidays. I know that he is diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I'm not sure of the specifics. In 2002, when I was eight and he was nineteen or twenty, John assaulted me because of an argument he had with our mother. It was pretty serious; I've still got some nasty scars on my head. Long story short, my parents told him he was no longer welcome in their home and called the police, but he left before they arrived. That night he hurt a homeless person pretty badly. I don't know the details but apparently it was a good deal worse than what he did to me. John was arrested the next morning, and has been incarcerated since, but is due to be released in March. My understanding is that he plead guilty to lesser crimes to avoid a trial. Adam went to see John in prison just before Christmas to get a sense of who he is these days, and to find out what his plans are for after his release. Apparently he intends to “move back house” claiming that he "has a right to his home" and "mom owes him." My boyfriend and I live in the house I grew up in, though it's still in my mother's name (dad passed in 2013). That said, for all intents and purposes, the house belongs to me. My mother moved Arizona after my father died, and Adam already owns a home, so it will be left solely to me when the time comes, and the value of the house will be taken from my inheritance and added to Adam's. Anyway, according to John, he's already told the relevant people from the prison that he'll be moving back here upon being released. I'm unsure of the mechanics here, as the extent of my experience with prison is knowing that the asshole responsible for my traumatic childhood is in one upstate. Now, it's a foregone conclusion that my mother won't agree to let him move into my home; to say that she wouldn't spit on John if he was on fire is putting it lightly. She has disowned him and does her best to avoid acknowledging his existence aside from occasionally expressing her belief that the stress of what he put our family through is directly responsible for my father dying of a heart attack. Anyway, the rational part of my brain knows that he isn’t going to be able to just walk into my home and set up shop in his old room, but there’s still some nagging anxiety in the back of my mind. Hopefully you guys can answer a few questions in a way that will either allay my fears or at least prepare me to handle this situation when the time comes. I know I’m going to sound paranoid here, but please bear with me. To be frank, I am terrified of my brother. 1. Would it have been necessary for my parents to formally evict John upon his incarceration, or is such a thing implied by the fact that he received such a long sentence? If the former, while I am not 100% certain, I doubt my parents did so. In this case, would he still technically be considered a tenant in my home, even after more than a decade and a half, and if so, is there a way for me to file for eviction in advance? 2. If he DOES somehow gain entry to the house (breaking in while I’m not home etc), will the police be more likely to remove him from the premises or consider it a civil matter? Is there anything specific I should do to protect myself if he tries to force his way in? 3. I hate to even think about this, but as stated earlier, my mother’s health is not the greatest these days. She has explicitly written John out of her will (she is actually leaving him a toilet brush, as the fight that led to all of this was over his refusal to clean the bathroom). Both of my parents were rather successful financially, and my mother’s estate will be rather valuable. Does John have a leg to stand on if he wants to contest the fact that he was disinherited? If so, would this be likely to extend specifically to the house, or just a percentage of the estate? I hate the idea of him receiving any of my mother’s money because I know it would make her sick, but if not putting up a fight and letting him have a share can remove any potential interest he has in the house, I think my whole family could live with it. 4. Is there a specific type of attorney I should consult about this? I want to do everything I can to protect myself and my boyfriend, but this whole situation is surreal and I am really not sure which way to turn. Thanks in advance for any help you can offer, and I'm sorry that this turned into a bit of a novel. My nerves are a touch frayed right now and I’m finding it difficult to put my thoughts down in a concise manner. | ds3oawe | ds3mszd | 1,514,934,495 | 1,514,932,809 | 394 | 257 | 1) He is not allowed in the house. Change the locks, get security cameras, get an alarm if necessary (Nest cams and home automation kits can do this on the cheap). As others have said, get your mom to put this in writing. 2) Call you local police ahead of time, explain the situation to prepare them, ask them how they would like you to proceed. 3) Contact a lawyer, ask him to write a letter informing your brother's parole officer of the situation. 4) Be prepared to call the cops if he shows up. Be prepared to stay in a motel or somewhere safe just in case you are unable to get the police to handle things. Good luck | Get security cameras, either put up no trespassing or notify John he is not allowed on the property, and then if he shows up contact the police for trespassing. Try to get the no trespass in written form from your mother as the homeowner. I don’t believe this counts as wrongful eviction as it doesn’t sound like he is reasonably a tenant, but I am not a lawyer. | 1 | 1,686 | 1.533074 |
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