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v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibp6nss | ibqeqim | 1,654,751,527 | 1,654,783,757 | 24 | 38 | It sounds like your daughter was the victim of theft. File a police report and include any evidence from the "Find my Device" feature to show location. Edit: Victim of theft twice. | > However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. I don't see how this is your problem. Call the cops in the school's jurisdiction. Provide them with the evidence you have. | 0 | 32,230 | 1.583333 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibqdbji | ibqeqim | 1,654,783,087 | 1,654,783,757 | 21 | 38 | If I were in your shoes, I would reply back to the school about how you are disappointed in them not holding this girl accountable and you will be filing a police report and possible civil suit and against the family of the thief and making sure the court knows the school was threatened. | > However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. I don't see how this is your problem. Call the cops in the school's jurisdiction. Provide them with the evidence you have. | 0 | 670 | 1.809524 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibperfs | ibqeqim | 1,654,757,755 | 1,654,783,757 | 20 | 38 | Either forget it or go to small claims you can't force school to do anything. You would win in court. | > However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. I don't see how this is your problem. Call the cops in the school's jurisdiction. Provide them with the evidence you have. | 0 | 26,002 | 1.9 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibp6nss | ibpdoqp | 1,654,751,527 | 1,654,756,865 | 24 | 36 | It sounds like your daughter was the victim of theft. File a police report and include any evidence from the "Find my Device" feature to show location. Edit: Victim of theft twice. | If the school isn't going to help, take this matter to the police. You're not accusing some random person of color here. You have solid evidence to back up your case, and this girl doesn't have a legal leg to stand on if faced with the facts in a court of law. | 0 | 5,338 | 1.5 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibp6nss | ibph9y1 | 1,654,751,527 | 1,654,759,958 | 24 | 34 | It sounds like your daughter was the victim of theft. File a police report and include any evidence from the "Find my Device" feature to show location. Edit: Victim of theft twice. | If the school is not willing to pursue disciplinary action for what at this point almost certainly merits the legal definition of grand theft, they should agree to compensate your family for the financial loss. At this point, they are effectively acting as an accomplice to the crime, which would NOT go down well for the school district if you pursued this legally. | 0 | 8,431 | 1.416667 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibph9y1 | ibperfs | 1,654,759,958 | 1,654,757,755 | 34 | 20 | If the school is not willing to pursue disciplinary action for what at this point almost certainly merits the legal definition of grand theft, they should agree to compensate your family for the financial loss. At this point, they are effectively acting as an accomplice to the crime, which would NOT go down well for the school district if you pursued this legally. | Either forget it or go to small claims you can't force school to do anything. You would win in court. | 1 | 2,203 | 1.7 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibp6nss | ibpy17r | 1,654,751,527 | 1,654,774,532 | 24 | 32 | It sounds like your daughter was the victim of theft. File a police report and include any evidence from the "Find my Device" feature to show location. Edit: Victim of theft twice. | OP by not doing anything you are empowering this girl to steak whatever she wants. Any one in a position of power that abuses said power deserves everything that comes to her.What happens when it happens again and this time your kid doesn't say it do anything OR the girl uses her power to punish your daughter for it? As her having a position of power and being "trusted" by the faculty she could lie and say your daughter is attacking her/ discriminating against her. without the reports of your trying to stop it they are likely to believe her.Do you really want that for your daughter? Also at 17 she's old enough to be charged as an adult. You are in a position to stop this before it escalates to her doing worse. Also using that excuse of discrimination shows that they'll do whatever it takes to sweep it under the rug. Be the person to stop this now. At least do it for your daughter and show her you have her back and will be willing to do what it takes to have her back | 0 | 23,005 | 1.333333 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibperfs | ibpy17r | 1,654,757,755 | 1,654,774,532 | 20 | 32 | Either forget it or go to small claims you can't force school to do anything. You would win in court. | OP by not doing anything you are empowering this girl to steak whatever she wants. Any one in a position of power that abuses said power deserves everything that comes to her.What happens when it happens again and this time your kid doesn't say it do anything OR the girl uses her power to punish your daughter for it? As her having a position of power and being "trusted" by the faculty she could lie and say your daughter is attacking her/ discriminating against her. without the reports of your trying to stop it they are likely to believe her.Do you really want that for your daughter? Also at 17 she's old enough to be charged as an adult. You are in a position to stop this before it escalates to her doing worse. Also using that excuse of discrimination shows that they'll do whatever it takes to sweep it under the rug. Be the person to stop this now. At least do it for your daughter and show her you have her back and will be willing to do what it takes to have her back | 0 | 16,777 | 1.6 |
v8624l | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Girl at my daughter's school stole her expensive headphones twice. Family of the girl is threatening racial discrimination suit against the school if they investigate or enact discipline. Do they have any legal backing? My daughter (14) just finished her freshman year at a private boarding high school. Her birthday is in October and my husband and I bought her a new ($250) pair of AirPod pros as her present (in 2021). She was ecstatic and used them nearly every single day. Her school has a winter break near the holidays and shortly before the break, my daughter mistakenly left her headphones in their case in her dorm's common room for a few minutes while she went to use the bathroom, and when she came back, the headphones and the charging case were gone. Daughter was very upset but did not tell us because she felt that it was entirely her fault that she left them in the common room unattended. She went to the mall in December and bought a new pair, spending $250 of her own money without our knowledge and effectively draining her bank account. At this time, she also searched for her headphones on Find My Device and saw her old headphones located at the home address of a girl in her dorm. Said girl is a junior RA in the freshman dorm, meaning she is in a leadership position and an upperclassman, and has the ability to enforce discipline to freshmen students in the dorm. My daughter politely texted the girl and asked her if she could please bring her headphones back after the break. The girl claimed she did not have my daughter's headphones, but after my daughter sent her a screenshot of the headphones' location, the girl made up a story about how she lost her airpods and must have mistaken my daughter's for hers when she was looking for them. After the break, the girl did not return my daughter's headphones and claimed that she "forgot" them, despite my daughter sending her gentle reminders to remember to bring them back. Her school resumed in January after the break and she brought her new pair of AirPods to school with her. According to her she was extremely careful with them and never left them unattended, and kept them securely in her backpack. However, after about two weeks, these headphones went missing too. My daughter asked around the dorm if anyone had seen them but no one had. She also was able to track them on her computer and watched them "travel" about campus for several days. She also enabled "lost mode" on them and disabled them so that anyone attempting to use them would know that they were lost. Eventually, these headphones, too, ended up at the same address as the other pair. Daughter once again texted the girl who lived at this address, who continued to lie and say that she only had the old pair. My daughter sent her screenshots of Find My Device that clearly showed both sets at that address, but the girl continued to deny, deny, deny. For the remainder of the semester, my daughter would continue to text this girl, politely asking her to return the headphones, but the girl would either lie saying she did not have them, "promise" to give them back after a break/weekend when she would be home, or make up a story about why she "forgot" them. The girl also seems to have disabled tracking on these headphones as we are unable to see the location of them currently, so they are effectively stolen. Last month my daughter finally confessed the whole story to us, as she had lost $500 worth of property within the school year and was quite upset. We reached out to the school and emailed multiple screenshots of the headphones' location on Find My Device that she had saved on her phone, as well as screenshots of every text exchange with this girl that occurred over the past several months, to the school administration. We have been in contact with this girl's parents as well but we have gotten very minimal response. Initially, the administration was very responsive to us, claiming that they had not received reports like this about this student before, and assured us that this entire matter would be investigated. However, this week we have received an email from the administration that this girl's family has threatened a racial discrimination suit if the investigation goes any further. The girl is of Mexican descent, while myself and my family are white, and I believe the school's administration is majority white as well. Apparently the optics of accusing a minor of Mexican ethnicity of stealing expensive electronics does not look good, despite the evidence, as I have presented in this post, overwhelmingly supporting my daughter. I firmly believe that this threat is being made due to the fact that this girl is a rising senior and thus will likely be applying to college, and having incidents of theft or disciplinary action on her permanent record will not look good. Although I am mostly concerned with this issue getting resolved for my daughter, I do wonder if this girl is abusing her position of leadership in the dorm and has stolen from other students or has otherwise wronged them. I am very concerned that if this student is not investigated this behavior will continue, making my daughter and other students feel unsafe in the dorm. The school refuses to continue to investigate due to the threat of legal action. Does this girl's family have any legal backing, and would the school be at risk of losing a racial discrimination suit for investigating this student's alleged theft? | ibqdbji | ibperfs | 1,654,783,087 | 1,654,757,755 | 21 | 20 | If I were in your shoes, I would reply back to the school about how you are disappointed in them not holding this girl accountable and you will be filing a police report and possible civil suit and against the family of the thief and making sure the court knows the school was threatened. | Either forget it or go to small claims you can't force school to do anything. You would win in court. | 1 | 25,332 | 1.05 |
picqce | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | I gave my partner 12 weeks of my parental leave, and now we've broken up and he says he won't pay me back This is my first time posting, I live in Canada. I was with my partner for almost 2 years, we have an almost 5 month old together. After he was born my partner stopped working, because he wanted to move to PEI. It took us longer to move there due to our baby having some health issues. He asked if he could have some of my parental for bills and then he would pay for everything once we got to pei for those 3 months. Fast forward to last week, he took a trip there to take our stuff there, ended up seeing his ex which his relationship has caused a lot of issues for us. He came back we went to PEI together. I end up finding out he slept with his ex while he was there. I told him I need that money back because now I'm going to have to go to work 3 months earlier. He said he couldn't do that. He said to sell whatever I can to get the money back. Is there anything I can do to get those 12 weeks back from him? Sorry for the rambling, I still just can't believe all of this is happening and I'm now a single mother. | hbozqpo | hborf7w | 1,630,854,340 | 1,630,850,538 | 127 | 71 | I’m trying to figure this out. Did he take your baby child care benefit or parental leave on EI? If it’s the former, you can sue him for the amount you gave him. If it’s the latter (and the government paid him), it’s a lot more complicated because he is also entitled to take parental leave (it’s not “yours”, other than the maternity leave portion). If you got the parental leave EI and you gave it to him, you are certainly owed it back. You can file small claims for the amount owing. However, you should absolutely file for child support. I assume you aren’t married, but we’re living together - without knowing the province you were living together in I can’t say what your rights are as a common law spouse to spousal support. | Sounds like since he originally agreed to pay it back you’d be entitled to it and could get a lawyer to sue. However is he not paying back because he doesn’t want to or because he has no money to pay it back? Unfortunately there’s only so much water you can get from a stone if he just doesn’t have money or property worth enough. I couldn’t tell which was the case from your post. | 1 | 3,802 | 1.788732 |
tti3ek | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | My partners ex wife's former lawyer won't leave me alone. The case has been settled and the divorce has been finalized but the ex-wife's former lawyer is still going to my social media, taking screenshots and sending me friend requests. This lawyer seems to have an unhealthy interest in me and I had literally nothing to do with the case. I'm merely dating their former client's ex-husband. Is this harassment? I feel like this lawyer is perhaps using their position to try to intimidate me for no reason. | i2yrthe | i2yqiih | 1,648,808,328 | 1,648,807,278 | 124 | 32 | Regarding contacting you, start by telling them to stop. Keep records and printouts of your asking them for this. If they continue to contact you, absent any credible legal reason, make a formal complaint to their state bar association. Also, how do you know they’re taking screen shots of your page? | Have you told this person not to contact you again? That's the first step: say clearly what you want | 1 | 1,050 | 3.875 |
tti3ek | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | My partners ex wife's former lawyer won't leave me alone. The case has been settled and the divorce has been finalized but the ex-wife's former lawyer is still going to my social media, taking screenshots and sending me friend requests. This lawyer seems to have an unhealthy interest in me and I had literally nothing to do with the case. I'm merely dating their former client's ex-husband. Is this harassment? I feel like this lawyer is perhaps using their position to try to intimidate me for no reason. | i2z82nt | i2yqiih | 1,648,818,078 | 1,648,807,278 | 47 | 32 | How certain are you that this divorce is actually finalized and over? Does your partner have children with this ex? Screenshotting public social media (and sometimes even sending friend requests to access that social media) can sometimes be part of a lawyer's investigation in family law matters. Does this attorney do anything else besides screenshot, such as send you messages? How do you know the attorney is taking screenshots and what is the content of them? Is it just pictures of you or do they include your partner? | Have you told this person not to contact you again? That's the first step: say clearly what you want | 1 | 10,800 | 1.46875 |
crlc9b | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | [TX] Principal at charter school suspended my son for two days over email, will not say reason My son started a year round charter school earlier this month. (6th grade). It seems like it's a better fit for him, he's making friends, overall it has been a positive experience. The principal and my [separated but not divorced] wife have had emails about needing to have a face-to-face meeting. The principal wants my wife to come in at 2:00 in the afternoon for this meeting, and will not accomodate requests for other times. On Friday my wife received an email from the principal saying that my son will be suspended for two days, Monday and Tuesday, because of my wife's refusal to have a face-to-face meeting. She said that there were negative behavioral issues that she could not discuss over email. I have no idea if this suspension is warranted. My son is no angel, but he's also not a great liar. He said that nobody at the school even told him he was suspended, and that he did not get in trouble on Friday. He had some conflicts with other students about refusing to say the pledge of allegiance, but no teacher told him he was being suspended, his parents would be contacted, or otherwise in trouble. Are there rules in Texas about what sort of behaviors a charter school can suspend a student for, and whether those have to be articulated prior to the suspension? Can a student be suspended for a parent's refusal to meet face-to-face in the middle of work hours? | ex6e36r | ex6drcx | 1,566,044,100 | 1,566,043,937 | 147 | 22 | The limits on why and how your son may be suspended will be much more from school policy and code of conduct than from statute. It is very likely that the school has the power to suspend your son for a wide variety of reasons with extensive discretion. It’s noteworthy that one of the reasons in many school codes for suspension is an inability to have a discussion with the parents about the situation. The answer here is for you and/or the child’s mother to have a meeting with the principal to discuss the situation. | The school can choose to suspend your child regardless of whatever arguments the parents make to the contrary because they have a wide discretion in how they punish their students. So the fact that they won't tell you what he did in an email is largely irrelevant to being able to stop the suspension. If you want to know why he was suspended, I'd suggest you make an appointment to see the principal in person. | 1 | 163 | 6.681818 |
crlc9b | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | [TX] Principal at charter school suspended my son for two days over email, will not say reason My son started a year round charter school earlier this month. (6th grade). It seems like it's a better fit for him, he's making friends, overall it has been a positive experience. The principal and my [separated but not divorced] wife have had emails about needing to have a face-to-face meeting. The principal wants my wife to come in at 2:00 in the afternoon for this meeting, and will not accomodate requests for other times. On Friday my wife received an email from the principal saying that my son will be suspended for two days, Monday and Tuesday, because of my wife's refusal to have a face-to-face meeting. She said that there were negative behavioral issues that she could not discuss over email. I have no idea if this suspension is warranted. My son is no angel, but he's also not a great liar. He said that nobody at the school even told him he was suspended, and that he did not get in trouble on Friday. He had some conflicts with other students about refusing to say the pledge of allegiance, but no teacher told him he was being suspended, his parents would be contacted, or otherwise in trouble. Are there rules in Texas about what sort of behaviors a charter school can suspend a student for, and whether those have to be articulated prior to the suspension? Can a student be suspended for a parent's refusal to meet face-to-face in the middle of work hours? | ex6drcx | ex6kc5f | 1,566,043,937 | 1,566,047,091 | 22 | 75 | The school can choose to suspend your child regardless of whatever arguments the parents make to the contrary because they have a wide discretion in how they punish their students. So the fact that they won't tell you what he did in an email is largely irrelevant to being able to stop the suspension. If you want to know why he was suspended, I'd suggest you make an appointment to see the principal in person. | It's quite common for children to be suspended when the parents ignore behavioral issues and refuse to meet in person. This is not an uncommon situation, nor is it illegal. Some parents don't like their children being disciplined at all for some reason, but won't come out and say it and give the school the run-around waiting for it to "blow over." That's exactly what this situation looks like to them. One of you needs to go to his school on Monday and sit down with the admin to work out this ongoing issue. They will eventually expell a student for these exact same reasons, so that's something to keep in mind. | 0 | 3,154 | 3.409091 |
crlc9b | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | [TX] Principal at charter school suspended my son for two days over email, will not say reason My son started a year round charter school earlier this month. (6th grade). It seems like it's a better fit for him, he's making friends, overall it has been a positive experience. The principal and my [separated but not divorced] wife have had emails about needing to have a face-to-face meeting. The principal wants my wife to come in at 2:00 in the afternoon for this meeting, and will not accomodate requests for other times. On Friday my wife received an email from the principal saying that my son will be suspended for two days, Monday and Tuesday, because of my wife's refusal to have a face-to-face meeting. She said that there were negative behavioral issues that she could not discuss over email. I have no idea if this suspension is warranted. My son is no angel, but he's also not a great liar. He said that nobody at the school even told him he was suspended, and that he did not get in trouble on Friday. He had some conflicts with other students about refusing to say the pledge of allegiance, but no teacher told him he was being suspended, his parents would be contacted, or otherwise in trouble. Are there rules in Texas about what sort of behaviors a charter school can suspend a student for, and whether those have to be articulated prior to the suspension? Can a student be suspended for a parent's refusal to meet face-to-face in the middle of work hours? | ex77cy4 | ex6drcx | 1,566,056,921 | 1,566,043,937 | 33 | 22 | This seems like a case where the School is trying to force you to come in and discuss whatever situation has made want to speak with you. From the School's POV you and your wife are *those* parents, the type who refuse to believe that their "precious angel" could do anything bad and may try to give the school the run around as they try to wait out the storm (I.E, wait for the School to give up.). So by suspending your son they are trying to draw you out and make you confront the situation. Your best recourse is to go in an speak with the principal. I would also collect evidence of their refusal to accommodate your wife and get in contact with the Board of Directors (I.E the Principal's Bosses) and raise a stink with them. It's not you or your wifes fault that the Principal is only willing to meet with you during work hours, and they need to be held responsible for their unwillingness to be accommodating! | The school can choose to suspend your child regardless of whatever arguments the parents make to the contrary because they have a wide discretion in how they punish their students. So the fact that they won't tell you what he did in an email is largely irrelevant to being able to stop the suspension. If you want to know why he was suspended, I'd suggest you make an appointment to see the principal in person. | 1 | 12,984 | 1.5 |
crlc9b | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | [TX] Principal at charter school suspended my son for two days over email, will not say reason My son started a year round charter school earlier this month. (6th grade). It seems like it's a better fit for him, he's making friends, overall it has been a positive experience. The principal and my [separated but not divorced] wife have had emails about needing to have a face-to-face meeting. The principal wants my wife to come in at 2:00 in the afternoon for this meeting, and will not accomodate requests for other times. On Friday my wife received an email from the principal saying that my son will be suspended for two days, Monday and Tuesday, because of my wife's refusal to have a face-to-face meeting. She said that there were negative behavioral issues that she could not discuss over email. I have no idea if this suspension is warranted. My son is no angel, but he's also not a great liar. He said that nobody at the school even told him he was suspended, and that he did not get in trouble on Friday. He had some conflicts with other students about refusing to say the pledge of allegiance, but no teacher told him he was being suspended, his parents would be contacted, or otherwise in trouble. Are there rules in Texas about what sort of behaviors a charter school can suspend a student for, and whether those have to be articulated prior to the suspension? Can a student be suspended for a parent's refusal to meet face-to-face in the middle of work hours? | ex7t4ji | ex89a8q | 1,566,064,492 | 1,566,070,445 | 8 | 11 | Also the 200 time may be because its a plannin time or off period for other teachers that need to be in the meeting. | Not a lawyer - but former teacher. The principal should have been more accommodating about the time of the meeting, but the principal can NOT discuss this over e-mail. E-mail is subject to FOIA requests so nothing covered by privacy laws should be discussed over e-mail. Per my district's policy, we were allowed to ask parents to call us and that was pretty much it. ​ My district was having a problem with Mr. Cranky Old Guy. He didn't think he should have to pay taxes for schools because his kids were grown. So he kept filing FOIA requests including e-mails. He was convinced that teachers were e-mailing about the Union get us too high salaries through collective bargaining. Problems 1. there are no teacher unions in Texas per law (associations that provide malpractice insurance and some legal support yes no unions) 2. There is no collective bargaining for teachers in Texas our base salary is set by state law. Districts can vote to offer more and many do but that is to attract teachers. 3. Texas teachers can't strike - we can work to rule and that would make most schools collapse in on themselves. but striking is a firable offense. | 0 | 5,953 | 1.375 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3yio1x | d3ygevp | 1,465,244,379 | 1,465,241,467 | 162 | 143 | Sysadmin with 18 years experience here. Reading you other posts, you have plenty of experience for Tier 1/entry level Dev jobs and you should start at $20/hr minimum depending on location. Find another job and walk. Forget the reference, he sounds like enough of an asshole that he'd refuse anyway. | You can quit. That SLA will go straight to hell if all three of you walk out over the change in responsibilities without a commensurate change in compensation; you have a fair bit of leverage as long as it's cheaper for him to negotiate than to replace all three of you. Ohio doesn't have specific laws addressing whether on-call time counts as hours worked, or counts for hours overtime; the federal rules only recognize on-call time when the employee is expected to be waiting to be engaged. You can (nominally) do anything you want between calls, so you're likely not on-call in the sense used in the FLSA. Separately, a service like Pagerduty will manage a lot of this automatically, so that you don't have to rely on checking your mail every 30 minutes. | 1 | 2,912 | 1.132867 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3yio1x | d3yi4bk | 1,465,244,379 | 1,465,243,665 | 162 | 19 | Sysadmin with 18 years experience here. Reading you other posts, you have plenty of experience for Tier 1/entry level Dev jobs and you should start at $20/hr minimum depending on location. Find another job and walk. Forget the reference, he sounds like enough of an asshole that he'd refuse anyway. | I'd talk to your two peers in this call pool and come to an agreement, then schedule a meeting with your boss about it. You will probably have his ass far over a barrel if you are all willing to look for other jobs over this constant, ridiculous demand on your personal time. | 1 | 714 | 8.526316 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3yio1x | d3ygrul | 1,465,244,379 | 1,465,241,931 | 162 | 9 | Sysadmin with 18 years experience here. Reading you other posts, you have plenty of experience for Tier 1/entry level Dev jobs and you should start at $20/hr minimum depending on location. Find another job and walk. Forget the reference, he sounds like enough of an asshole that he'd refuse anyway. | It is completely legal. Speak with your coworkers and band together to negotiate a substantial increase in your salary if you're expected to be on-call 24/7. Or, all of you could walk away, costing the company a lot of money in the long term. | 1 | 2,448 | 18 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3ygrul | d3yi4bk | 1,465,241,931 | 1,465,243,665 | 9 | 19 | It is completely legal. Speak with your coworkers and band together to negotiate a substantial increase in your salary if you're expected to be on-call 24/7. Or, all of you could walk away, costing the company a lot of money in the long term. | I'd talk to your two peers in this call pool and come to an agreement, then schedule a meeting with your boss about it. You will probably have his ass far over a barrel if you are all willing to look for other jobs over this constant, ridiculous demand on your personal time. | 0 | 1,734 | 2.111111 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3ynje1 | d3ytiea | 1,465,251,053 | 1,465,260,099 | 14 | 16 | Not legal advice. There are 3rd party services that can provide 24 hour phone and email monitoring that will reach out to an on-call list if support is needed. This will solve the issue of 24/7 email monitoring as they will monitor and call/page as needed. | I AM NOT A LAWYER. I am a former sysadmin who was in the field for 20+ years. This kind of policy isn't unheard of, although 15 minutes is extreme. One of my previous jobs had a similar policy, although we had an hour to respond. This was back in the days of pagers, but it shouldn't be any harder to do things now. We didn't have to check our email all the time, though. In our case we were dealing with outages, so software that monitored systems would automagically page the person on call. (We fed it a list of who was on call on which dates.) What you can do is create a script that checks the email address for any email that's new; that is, the email doesn't have "Re:" in it. (Or monitors it all, if you want to be sure.) If something comes in, a txt message is sent to your phone saying "Check your email: New message" or somesuch. There are SSH and email clients for tablets and phones, so you can at least assess the problem immediately. If you can get your boss to give you an hour to respond, that'll give you some more freedom to leave the house. The other thing to suggest is that the primary person MUST respond. That puts the primary tied down for one week, but leaves the other two weeks free for the others. I will also point out that what your boss is suggesting may not be illegal but will eventually affect your health. I was at one point responsible for a multi-machine (around 1000) system. It was brand new and had "issues" so even though the system was designed that if one machine died the rest would keep running, if one did die I had an hour to investigate why and file a report. The MTBF (mean time between failures) was 3 hours, which meant that on average my pager was going off every 3 hours. After 6 months of this I wound up in the hospital. | 0 | 9,046 | 1.142857 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3ygrul | d3ytiea | 1,465,241,931 | 1,465,260,099 | 9 | 16 | It is completely legal. Speak with your coworkers and band together to negotiate a substantial increase in your salary if you're expected to be on-call 24/7. Or, all of you could walk away, costing the company a lot of money in the long term. | I AM NOT A LAWYER. I am a former sysadmin who was in the field for 20+ years. This kind of policy isn't unheard of, although 15 minutes is extreme. One of my previous jobs had a similar policy, although we had an hour to respond. This was back in the days of pagers, but it shouldn't be any harder to do things now. We didn't have to check our email all the time, though. In our case we were dealing with outages, so software that monitored systems would automagically page the person on call. (We fed it a list of who was on call on which dates.) What you can do is create a script that checks the email address for any email that's new; that is, the email doesn't have "Re:" in it. (Or monitors it all, if you want to be sure.) If something comes in, a txt message is sent to your phone saying "Check your email: New message" or somesuch. There are SSH and email clients for tablets and phones, so you can at least assess the problem immediately. If you can get your boss to give you an hour to respond, that'll give you some more freedom to leave the house. The other thing to suggest is that the primary person MUST respond. That puts the primary tied down for one week, but leaves the other two weeks free for the others. I will also point out that what your boss is suggesting may not be illegal but will eventually affect your health. I was at one point responsible for a multi-machine (around 1000) system. It was brand new and had "issues" so even though the system was designed that if one machine died the rest would keep running, if one did die I had an hour to investigate why and file a report. The MTBF (mean time between failures) was 3 hours, which meant that on average my pager was going off every 3 hours. After 6 months of this I wound up in the hospital. | 0 | 18,168 | 1.777778 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3ynje1 | d3ygrul | 1,465,251,053 | 1,465,241,931 | 14 | 9 | Not legal advice. There are 3rd party services that can provide 24 hour phone and email monitoring that will reach out to an on-call list if support is needed. This will solve the issue of 24/7 email monitoring as they will monitor and call/page as needed. | It is completely legal. Speak with your coworkers and band together to negotiate a substantial increase in your salary if you're expected to be on-call 24/7. Or, all of you could walk away, costing the company a lot of money in the long term. | 1 | 9,122 | 1.555556 |
4murn3 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Boss just made a new "on call policy" that basically requires me to check my email a minimum of every 30 minutes, heavily restricting my time outside of work. Details inside. So, essentially, there was a bit of a clusterfuck last weekend that had our very small company in a pickle. here's some context: I work at an incredibly small company in Ohio. 14 employees overall, and 8 of them are immediate family to the big boss man. I do software development and tech support for custom machines. Our software/tech support department is a total of 3 people, myself, my deskmate, and some guy in LA we get to answer calls. There exists a call forwarding service where if clients call needing help with a machine, it will rotate the call LA guy, then deskmate if LA guy doesn't answer, then myself if deskmate doesn't answer. There also exists an email address (support@[companyname].com) which forwards any support emails to the entire 3-man support team. Onto the point, there was a mess of things where over one weekend, when there was no official "on call schedule" in place. There was an email that came though and nobody answered. I had family in town that weekend (i live 900+ miles from any family, so this is an extreme rarity and i had been talking about it for weeks) and the other two were busy with whatever they were doing. My boss, who tends to enact huge, sweeping, excessive policy changes when something goes wrong even once, decided to enact a new on call schedule policy, which names one of us as "on call POC 1" and the other two as "secondary POCs" in a rotating fashion. I will definitely admit that an official schedule needs to be in place, but there are some issues i have with the terms of this new policy. Namely: POC 1 is to answer any calls and emails within 15 minutes of initial contact, or else they are written up and potentially fired. If POC 1 does not jump on the support ticket within 15 minutes, the two Secondary POCs have until 30 minutes after initial contact to answer, or they are written up and potentially fired. Now these wouldn't be so bad in a normal, well staffed office, but the fact that there's only 3 of us means that i am ALWAYS on the schedule and ALWAYS responsible for answering these emails and tech calls regardless of time or day. We have clients running these machines at all times on all days in many parts of the world, so this means i have to be expecting a call/email 24/7/365. I'm told that if i'm sleeping, if i'm in a movie, if i'm at one of my classes (where i both teach and study dance after work hours), if i'm at a restaurant... regardless of where i am and what i'm doing, i'm expected to be able to just drop it and handle the situation. I asked if we would be compensated for such heavy restrictions on my personal time outside of work. He said we would be compensated for the time we use to fix the issue, but didn't specify about the rest of the time where i'm not free to do my own personal things. I asked again, clarifying that i am asking specifically if there will be some sort of compensation or negotiation about the heavy restrictions, and after avoiding the question for a few emails, he basically (in nicer words) told me that he doesn't give a shit what i might be doing outside of work and that i need to "have dedication to my job." Now, is this even legal? Expecting me to drop anything at any time to troubleshoot these machines or i get written up and potentially fired seems like a ridiculous thing to be forced to agree to, but since i don't know the laws, and almost all the labor law documentation i can find tends to specifically mention time where i'm forced to stay at the office after hours, which isn't really the case here. I feel like such an extreme restriction on my non-work time can't be justifiably legal, but as i m not a lawyer in any sense, i don't know for certain. | d3z4esj | d3ywdyi | 1,465,277,765 | 1,465,264,188 | 4 | 2 | Your boss is insane. Live your life and if you miss the SLA, let him throw his little hissy fit. In the meantime, update your resume and find another job. You cannot repair this. I am not a lawyer. This is life advice. | I'm not a lawyer, nor am I in your state, but I do work in IT in this kind of a support role, and I think there are a few important points that other people are missing: 1. Yes, your activity is restricted to a certain degree *when you are the POC 1*. So if you intend to fly to Europe, or go camping, or visit your relatives out of state, then you need to coordinate the on-call rotation with your manager and with your other support team to make sure that you are not the POC 1 during that time. They'll do the same: "trade you this weekend for the following?" 2. Yes, its reasonable for your company to have a backup plan in case the POC 1 isn't responding in a timely manner, but no, I don't think its reasonable for the backup to be "the other two people need to be just as available as POC 1". Either set up an automated escalation path, or hire a phone answering service that can follow that path of escalation. 3. Notification: No, you shouldn't have to set an alarm and wake up every 30 minutes and log on and check your email, that's asinine, and likely not what your boss is asking of you. You get a pager that beeps and wake you up, or you set your smart phone or tablet to continuously check your email and play a loud and distinct tone when you get a support email (not *any* email, I assume that these support emails can be identified in such a way) 4. Response time: In my role we had a 15-minute response requirement *for initial contact*, we had a lot longer to actually resolve the issue. We had to respond quickly by phone or email to let the client/user know we had *received* their request for help, and sometimes the issue was resolved by this initial call. Other times we had to pull out the on-call laptop (we had a dedicated on-call laptop with a cellular data card) and log on to the affected server/workstation. So yes, you can attend a movie, as long as you have your pager/phone on vibrate and your on-call laptop in the trunk of your car. 5. Compensation: So this is all *possible* to do, but I was also making a salary that to me meant it was worth it (my salary was on the order of 2x - 3x your hourly rate). We also had 6-8 people on the on-call rotation and a dedicated night-shift worker, so on-calls, tough as they sometimes were, were not a total life-killer. So my recommendations are as follows: * See if you can persuade your manager to implement some workable (and *reasonable*) on call policies (response time, escalation sequence) and equipment (pagers, smart phones, laptops with cellular cards) * Based on the (lack of) response to that, see if you find your pay worth that trouble. If not, ask for a raise, or get another job. | 1 | 13,577 | 2 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gz8h7h7 | gz8i1v4 | 1,621,826,517 | 1,621,827,053 | 11 | 36 | You don't explicitly state if she was using paid sick leave but it does seem that way. Did the boss remove the paid sick time from the schedule and give those hours back to her or did they destroy them essentially? If the company has paid sick time that accumulates overtime and they decided to basically just give her the day off instead of using the paid time AND she still has those paid off hours to use later it might mean this specific check is going to be smaller than she and you want but it would mean she still has that paid time and didn't lose it. There would probably be nothing that could be done about that. | Companies are not required to pay out unused sick time and since she worked enough hours to not need to use the sick time, they aren't going to pay her for hours she didn't need to use. | 0 | 536 | 3.272727 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gz8dc8q | gz8i1v4 | 1,621,824,141 | 1,621,827,053 | 5 | 36 | Do they have anything written on this in the employee handbook? Where are you located? | Companies are not required to pay out unused sick time and since she worked enough hours to not need to use the sick time, they aren't going to pay her for hours she didn't need to use. | 0 | 2,912 | 7.2 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gz8dc8q | gz8h7h7 | 1,621,824,141 | 1,621,826,517 | 5 | 11 | Do they have anything written on this in the employee handbook? Where are you located? | You don't explicitly state if she was using paid sick leave but it does seem that way. Did the boss remove the paid sick time from the schedule and give those hours back to her or did they destroy them essentially? If the company has paid sick time that accumulates overtime and they decided to basically just give her the day off instead of using the paid time AND she still has those paid off hours to use later it might mean this specific check is going to be smaller than she and you want but it would mean she still has that paid time and didn't lose it. There would probably be nothing that could be done about that. | 0 | 2,376 | 2.2 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gzbm93k | gz8dc8q | 1,621,893,320 | 1,621,824,141 | 8 | 5 | Most places don’t pay overtime unless you’ve physically worked 40 hours before those hours. | Do they have anything written on this in the employee handbook? Where are you located? | 1 | 69,179 | 1.6 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gzbm93k | gz90q4v | 1,621,893,320 | 1,621,841,886 | 8 | 5 | Most places don’t pay overtime unless you’ve physically worked 40 hours before those hours. | What state? In CA anything over 8 hrs in 1 day is overtime regardless of the hrs on other days of the week/pay period | 1 | 51,434 | 1.6 |
njnm74 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | So my gf took a sick day this week on a day she was scheduled, later that week she works a 16 hour day so she has overtime. She gets a email from her boss saying shes taking the hours off from the sick day since she has overtime. Is it just me or is that wrong? | gzbd6l7 | gzbm93k | 1,621,889,087 | 1,621,893,320 | 2 | 8 | Depends where you live and company policy. Sometimes anything over 8 hours in a day is considered overtime other times anything over 40 hours in a week is considered overtime I don’t believe that sick time counts twords hours worked for calculating overtime if it is based on the weekly model | Most places don’t pay overtime unless you’ve physically worked 40 hours before those hours. | 0 | 4,233 | 4 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7lnjib | i7kv75u | 1,651,871,145 | 1,651,858,309 | 906 | 490 | Employers in MA can only ask for documentation related to your sick leave in very specific circumstances: https://www.mass.gov/doc/earned-sick-time-faqs/download *Q: May an employer require an employee to provide written documentation, like a doctor’s note, when the employee uses earned sick time?*
*A: It depends. An employer can require written documentation if: (1) the employee is absent from work for more than24 consecutively-scheduled work hours; (2) the employee is absent for three consecutively-scheduled work days; (3) the employee’s absence occurs within two weeks prior to an employee’s final scheduled day of work before termination of employment, except in the case of temporary workers; or (4) the employee’s absence occurs after four unforeseeable and undocumented absences within a three-month period.* They're also not allowed to ask for details about a medical condition (you know, like a pregancy diagnosis): *Q: What kind of documentation can an employerrequire?*
*A: If the employee is absent for medical reasons, the employer may require a statement from a health care provider that the absence was for a purpose covered by the law. An employee who does not have a health care provider may sign a written statement that earned sick time was needed for a reason covered by the law. The Attorney General’s Office provides a model statement on its website at www.mass.gov/ago/earnedsicktime that employers can use as a guide.*
***An employer may never require further information about the details of a medical condition.*** Your options include - going to HR, contacting the AG's office, and possibly the health department, who might not be happy that they're trying to force people to come in and serve food and beverages while they're vomiting. | I would save all of these messages, I’m sure HR would love to hear about that. Can’t imagine that’s something that’s acceptable from their standards. Or any business standards really. Your medical health is ultimately your own business. | 1 | 12,836 | 1.84898 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7lnjib | i7lnd3g | 1,651,871,145 | 1,651,871,063 | 906 | 319 | Employers in MA can only ask for documentation related to your sick leave in very specific circumstances: https://www.mass.gov/doc/earned-sick-time-faqs/download *Q: May an employer require an employee to provide written documentation, like a doctor’s note, when the employee uses earned sick time?*
*A: It depends. An employer can require written documentation if: (1) the employee is absent from work for more than24 consecutively-scheduled work hours; (2) the employee is absent for three consecutively-scheduled work days; (3) the employee’s absence occurs within two weeks prior to an employee’s final scheduled day of work before termination of employment, except in the case of temporary workers; or (4) the employee’s absence occurs after four unforeseeable and undocumented absences within a three-month period.* They're also not allowed to ask for details about a medical condition (you know, like a pregancy diagnosis): *Q: What kind of documentation can an employerrequire?*
*A: If the employee is absent for medical reasons, the employer may require a statement from a health care provider that the absence was for a purpose covered by the law. An employee who does not have a health care provider may sign a written statement that earned sick time was needed for a reason covered by the law. The Attorney General’s Office provides a model statement on its website at www.mass.gov/ago/earnedsicktime that employers can use as a guide.*
***An employer may never require further information about the details of a medical condition.*** Your options include - going to HR, contacting the AG's office, and possibly the health department, who might not be happy that they're trying to force people to come in and serve food and beverages while they're vomiting. | Definitely get HR involved. Also tell them you expect to be reimbursed for the cost of the test they required you to take. | 1 | 82 | 2.840125 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m39y8 | i7lnd3g | 1,651,878,523 | 1,651,871,063 | 484 | 319 | I think the local health department would like to hear about this. They take a dim view of vomiting workers serving people food… regardless of the reason for the illness. | Definitely get HR involved. Also tell them you expect to be reimbursed for the cost of the test they required you to take. | 1 | 7,460 | 1.517241 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m39y8 | i7lwl4g | 1,651,878,523 | 1,651,875,352 | 484 | 284 | I think the local health department would like to hear about this. They take a dim view of vomiting workers serving people food… regardless of the reason for the illness. | Talk to an employment lawyer. They're gonna love this one. | 1 | 3,171 | 1.704225 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m39y8 | i7lqvb4 | 1,651,878,523 | 1,651,872,710 | 484 | 156 | I think the local health department would like to hear about this. They take a dim view of vomiting workers serving people food… regardless of the reason for the illness. | This sounds like illegal gender discrimination. If men are allowed to call out for vomiting, why wouldn’t a pregnant female employee be allowed to call out for vomiting? You can complain to the EEOC or your local state civil rights agency. | 1 | 5,813 | 3.102564 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m0w0b | i7m39y8 | 1,651,877,380 | 1,651,878,523 | 127 | 484 | Is your location corporate owned or a franchise? If it's corporate in MA they're gonna love this story... | I think the local health department would like to hear about this. They take a dim view of vomiting workers serving people food… regardless of the reason for the illness. | 0 | 1,143 | 3.811024 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m324e | i7m39y8 | 1,651,878,416 | 1,651,878,523 | 77 | 484 | Get a lawyer. This is illegal. | I think the local health department would like to hear about this. They take a dim view of vomiting workers serving people food… regardless of the reason for the illness. | 0 | 107 | 6.285714 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7lqvb4 | i7lwl4g | 1,651,872,710 | 1,651,875,352 | 156 | 284 | This sounds like illegal gender discrimination. If men are allowed to call out for vomiting, why wouldn’t a pregnant female employee be allowed to call out for vomiting? You can complain to the EEOC or your local state civil rights agency. | Talk to an employment lawyer. They're gonna love this one. | 0 | 2,642 | 1.820513 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7m4tcu | i7n8wuq | 1,651,879,270 | 1,651,900,815 | 27 | 35 | You need contact and file with the Massachusetts Commission Against Department (MCAD) . In Massachusetts, you have to exhaust all state remedies, in this case filing with the commission, before filing suit. Pregnancy is a protected class, as is, more importantly, gender. I used to work for the Commission a million years ago, and the people employed there as investigators and Attorneys are empathetic, well organized, very knowledgeable, and very skilled. They have three offices in the state. Call you closest offices, Springfield, Worcester and Boston. | First, it doesn't matter why you are vomiting. If you vomit, it is against the health code to work in food service for the next 24 hours. Second, while an employer can ask if you are pregnant, they cannot use your pregnancy or possibility of pregnancy to discriminate against you, like saying you can't call in for vomiting if you are pregnant, or saying that you have to prove you aren't pregnant to prevent being written up. Third, any medical information they do collect for legitimate legal reasons is protected. They cannot disseminate whether you are pregnant or not unless it's already public. To try to explain it better, if you ask for a reasonable accommodation for your pregnancy, they cannot tell anyone that you are pregnant unless it's somehow necessary for the accommodation, but if you were to just tell your employer that you're pregnant in a regular conversation, that wouldn't be confidential. Also, if you're paid minimum wage then your employer has to reimburse you for the test. They cannot require you to pay for anything for work if it would make your pay go below minimum wage. Go here to file a complaint on all those issues. https://www.mass.gov/how-to/file-a-workplace-complaint You can try talking to hr, but they are there to protect the business, not you. They should want to handle this because your boss is jeopardizing the business here, but they might want to get rid of you or destroy your reputation. So I'd talk to the labor board, first. Document everything. Save everything you already have. Keep multiple copies. If they try to cut or switch around your hours or make your job more difficult, report them for retaliation, and look into filing for unemployment under something called "constructive dismissal." Oh, and definitely report them to the health department. | 0 | 21,545 | 1.296296 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7n8wuq | i7mtnl7 | 1,651,900,815 | 1,651,891,715 | 35 | 12 | First, it doesn't matter why you are vomiting. If you vomit, it is against the health code to work in food service for the next 24 hours. Second, while an employer can ask if you are pregnant, they cannot use your pregnancy or possibility of pregnancy to discriminate against you, like saying you can't call in for vomiting if you are pregnant, or saying that you have to prove you aren't pregnant to prevent being written up. Third, any medical information they do collect for legitimate legal reasons is protected. They cannot disseminate whether you are pregnant or not unless it's already public. To try to explain it better, if you ask for a reasonable accommodation for your pregnancy, they cannot tell anyone that you are pregnant unless it's somehow necessary for the accommodation, but if you were to just tell your employer that you're pregnant in a regular conversation, that wouldn't be confidential. Also, if you're paid minimum wage then your employer has to reimburse you for the test. They cannot require you to pay for anything for work if it would make your pay go below minimum wage. Go here to file a complaint on all those issues. https://www.mass.gov/how-to/file-a-workplace-complaint You can try talking to hr, but they are there to protect the business, not you. They should want to handle this because your boss is jeopardizing the business here, but they might want to get rid of you or destroy your reputation. So I'd talk to the labor board, first. Document everything. Save everything you already have. Keep multiple copies. If they try to cut or switch around your hours or make your job more difficult, report them for retaliation, and look into filing for unemployment under something called "constructive dismissal." Oh, and definitely report them to the health department. | You should report this to HR Also, probably should see a doctor considering how sick you often are | 1 | 9,100 | 2.916667 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7n8wuq | i7ma5s3 | 1,651,900,815 | 1,651,881,896 | 35 | 7 | First, it doesn't matter why you are vomiting. If you vomit, it is against the health code to work in food service for the next 24 hours. Second, while an employer can ask if you are pregnant, they cannot use your pregnancy or possibility of pregnancy to discriminate against you, like saying you can't call in for vomiting if you are pregnant, or saying that you have to prove you aren't pregnant to prevent being written up. Third, any medical information they do collect for legitimate legal reasons is protected. They cannot disseminate whether you are pregnant or not unless it's already public. To try to explain it better, if you ask for a reasonable accommodation for your pregnancy, they cannot tell anyone that you are pregnant unless it's somehow necessary for the accommodation, but if you were to just tell your employer that you're pregnant in a regular conversation, that wouldn't be confidential. Also, if you're paid minimum wage then your employer has to reimburse you for the test. They cannot require you to pay for anything for work if it would make your pay go below minimum wage. Go here to file a complaint on all those issues. https://www.mass.gov/how-to/file-a-workplace-complaint You can try talking to hr, but they are there to protect the business, not you. They should want to handle this because your boss is jeopardizing the business here, but they might want to get rid of you or destroy your reputation. So I'd talk to the labor board, first. Document everything. Save everything you already have. Keep multiple copies. If they try to cut or switch around your hours or make your job more difficult, report them for retaliation, and look into filing for unemployment under something called "constructive dismissal." Oh, and definitely report them to the health department. | Are they franchised? I'd submit a complaint directly to Corporate. Most companies have departments that handle franchise violations. | 1 | 18,919 | 5 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7ma5s3 | i7mtnl7 | 1,651,881,896 | 1,651,891,715 | 7 | 12 | Are they franchised? I'd submit a complaint directly to Corporate. Most companies have departments that handle franchise violations. | You should report this to HR Also, probably should see a doctor considering how sick you often are | 0 | 9,819 | 1.714286 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7no1mf | i7of08i | 1,651,913,121 | 1,651,931,945 | 2 | 4 | I just went through a similar situation at work related to medical documentation and what employers can legally ask for. You need to find an employment/civil rights attorney ASAP. the consult should be relatively inexpensive to determine whether you have a case. | The Dunkin corporation is very concerned with the representation of their brand by franchises and they will do a lot to protect it. Legality aside, the corporate office for Dunkin might be interested to hear one of their managers is pulling shit like this. Especially as this situation could easily and, maybe rightfully, be considered very sexist | 0 | 18,824 | 2 |
ujsmat | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Could I potentially sue my boss for making me “prove” I’m not pregnant before calling out sick? For a bit of background info, I’m 20f, live in Massachusetts, and work at a Dunkin. This morning, I got up and got ready for work when I started throwing up (I even threw up on my work shirt). I called my boss and told her that I couldn’t come in and explained the situation. Now, it’s important to note that the ONLY other time I called out was about 2 weeks ago, also for throwing up. There have been a few times I bit the bullet and went to work while throwing up and stayed for the duration of my shift. When I called my boss, she said, “you’ve been throwing up a lot lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant? I’m not going to let you call out because of morning sickness.” I told her that I’m not (it’s absolutely none of her business but I’m literally on my period rn) and she told me that I had to send her a picture of a negative pregnancy test if I wanted to call out without getting written up. I gave my neighbor some money to go to the store to grab a test for me (that I didn’t even need so now I’m out $20) and sent my boss a picture. About 20 minutes ago, I got a text from a coworker saying, “congrats on the baby but we’re really short staffed today. Alex (not her real name) is pregnant and she still shows up to work.” Even if I could, I probably wouldn’t sue, but fuck, this pissed me off so much. One of the supervisors literally calls out at least once a week and nobody has a problem with it, but because I’m a woman, my honesty and integrity is called into question? I’ve been here for almost 8 months and this is the SECOND time I’ve called out. | i7o0yn0 | i7of08i | 1,651,923,917 | 1,651,931,945 | 2 | 4 | I'm sorry that this has been your experience. Please do not let the sexual harassment continue, report that shit to HR. Not only are they making inappropriate generalizations about you as a woman, but are requiring you to urinate on a stick or be written up? Do male employees need to piss on a pregnancy test to utilize their sick leave? They are also disclosing false information to the other workers on site that day leading to additional harassment by other coworkers. This is an HR nightmare. | The Dunkin corporation is very concerned with the representation of their brand by franchises and they will do a lot to protect it. Legality aside, the corporate office for Dunkin might be interested to hear one of their managers is pulling shit like this. Especially as this situation could easily and, maybe rightfully, be considered very sexist | 0 | 8,028 | 2 |
dkjztb | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | School that I did not attend still continues to email me about paying fees even two years later. Do I have to pay? They keep threatening to report me to the credit bureau. So back in 2017 I was originally going to attend FAU, but decided to switch to a community college. All I paid for at the school was my application fee and because I was originally intending on going, a non refundable $200 deposit to sign up for classes and orientation (something along those lines). So I paid that deposit (this was even before my graduation) but about a month later when I decides not to attend I was told that I could refund the deposit because I was not going to the school since I let them know of the situation and was able to get the $200 back on my card. However, even two years later, I am being emailed again and again about how I have to pay this "outstanding balance". I never signed up for classes and I believe this is from that $200 fee since I checked once and that's what it kept saying I needed to pay. They say if I don't pay within the 90 day mark that I will be reported to the credit bureau. What do I do? Pay the fee? It says that I have to sign into my student account to see specifically what it is that I owe but I can't even log in. I contacted them last year about this and explained my situation and they said I still have to pay even though I don't go to their school. I really need help with this situation, and I live in Florida by the way. Thank you. | f4ha209 | f4hbh2v | 1,571,589,579 | 1,571,589,967 | 35 | 92 | Did you do a chargeback on your card, or did they refund it themselves? | Ask them to mail you the proof that you owe. Get an itemized list and then send a certified letter disputing the charges. | 0 | 388 | 2.628571 |
dkjztb | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | School that I did not attend still continues to email me about paying fees even two years later. Do I have to pay? They keep threatening to report me to the credit bureau. So back in 2017 I was originally going to attend FAU, but decided to switch to a community college. All I paid for at the school was my application fee and because I was originally intending on going, a non refundable $200 deposit to sign up for classes and orientation (something along those lines). So I paid that deposit (this was even before my graduation) but about a month later when I decides not to attend I was told that I could refund the deposit because I was not going to the school since I let them know of the situation and was able to get the $200 back on my card. However, even two years later, I am being emailed again and again about how I have to pay this "outstanding balance". I never signed up for classes and I believe this is from that $200 fee since I checked once and that's what it kept saying I needed to pay. They say if I don't pay within the 90 day mark that I will be reported to the credit bureau. What do I do? Pay the fee? It says that I have to sign into my student account to see specifically what it is that I owe but I can't even log in. I contacted them last year about this and explained my situation and they said I still have to pay even though I don't go to their school. I really need help with this situation, and I live in Florida by the way. Thank you. | f4hc9zp | f4ha209 | 1,571,590,150 | 1,571,589,579 | 40 | 35 | This isn't legal advice but practical advice. You haven't mentioned talking to anyone via phone or in person about the debt. I've never had a weird situation like this be resolved without one or more phone calls to talk to a real person who has any power at all to change the database, make an exception, etc. So that would be my first step. I'm assuming you have some type of proof that they refunded you the nonrefundable deposit. When you call, I'd have that ready. | Did you do a chargeback on your card, or did they refund it themselves? | 1 | 571 | 1.142857 |
xxuc2b | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | was lead to believe I would be paid for my work . During the interview the boss never mentioned it being no pay. Only asked how much I want. I said 20$ he said ok you'll start on trial. I said ok thinking I would be paid.. turns out I was just doing free labor. He never had any intention of paying. This happened in ND . Any advice ?? I did 45hours of work unpaid. Fuck.... I only left bc I realized they had no intention of paying. | ire07l4 | irdxahe | 1,665,137,864 | 1,665,135,178 | 211 | 38 | File a wage claim with the North Dakota department of labor (https://www.nd.gov/labor/wage-and-hour-topics). Assuming your boss runs a for-profit business, it's illegal for him not to pay employees at least minimum wage (so trial period with no pay would be illegal). You can present them any evidence that you have about the promised $20/hour. Save any evidence you have about the hours you worked (texts from boss, any receipts from driving there, or even just write a journal entry with your best recollection of the hours that you worked). | Do you have any kind of paperwork? | 1 | 2,686 | 5.552632 |
r1g84v | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Can my landlord give a key to my apartment to my neighbor? Some background info before I dive into this. My husband and I have lived in our apartment for two years, it is almost like a duplex, 1 house, 2 side by side apartments. The neighbor has been a long term tenant having been in her side almost 20 years. She is also in my opinion a little mentally unbalanced (to put it in nice terms). In the early morning hours of 11/21/21 she smelled an odor, which I did as well when I woke up to use the bathroom. I knew a skunk had sprayed very close to the house, which happens fairly often this time of year as there are several that roam our neighborhood. I went back to bed and was starting to fall back asleep when I heard voices in my living room. She had called the fire department and although they said they knocked, I never heard anything despite the fact that I have a small apartment and my bedroom door was open. She had allowed the fire department to enter my apartment with a key that she has. Needless to say, there was no fire, and no indication of a fire. I spoke with my landlord about how uncomfortable I was with this whole situation and the fact that she has had a key during our entire tenancy without our knowledge. The landlord seems to be brushing off my concerns as he says he trusts her (he also lives 45 mins from our home) and that he was the one to allow the fire department into our home over the phone. I feel like this is a huge invasion of privacy and I've been having panic attacks at night/not sleeping very well since this has happened considering that my home was broken into twice previously several years ago. There is also no provision in our rental agreement that states a 3rd party may have a key to our apartment. Do I have any legal recourse? I'm not looking to sue anybody, I just need peace of mind until we can get a new place. | hlygg5q | hm03rsq | 1,637,791,676 | 1,637,819,376 | 50 | 55 | Your location is important. In CA you have a right to change the locks and not give the landlord or anyone else a copy of the key if your lease doesn't address it. | The landlord can choose to have the neighbor act as his agent and hold a copy of the key. Any requirements that apply to the landlord would also apply to your neighbor. Your neighbor should not be entering your apartment unless you were given proper notice. The only instance you know of the neighbor entering your apartment involved letting the fire department in. Since the fire department was responding to what was presumably an emergency situation, proper notice isn't required. Unless you can prove that your neighbor entered your apartment other times without notice, there's not much you are going to be able to do aside from moving out when your lease is up. | 0 | 27,700 | 1.1 |
r1g84v | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Can my landlord give a key to my apartment to my neighbor? Some background info before I dive into this. My husband and I have lived in our apartment for two years, it is almost like a duplex, 1 house, 2 side by side apartments. The neighbor has been a long term tenant having been in her side almost 20 years. She is also in my opinion a little mentally unbalanced (to put it in nice terms). In the early morning hours of 11/21/21 she smelled an odor, which I did as well when I woke up to use the bathroom. I knew a skunk had sprayed very close to the house, which happens fairly often this time of year as there are several that roam our neighborhood. I went back to bed and was starting to fall back asleep when I heard voices in my living room. She had called the fire department and although they said they knocked, I never heard anything despite the fact that I have a small apartment and my bedroom door was open. She had allowed the fire department to enter my apartment with a key that she has. Needless to say, there was no fire, and no indication of a fire. I spoke with my landlord about how uncomfortable I was with this whole situation and the fact that she has had a key during our entire tenancy without our knowledge. The landlord seems to be brushing off my concerns as he says he trusts her (he also lives 45 mins from our home) and that he was the one to allow the fire department into our home over the phone. I feel like this is a huge invasion of privacy and I've been having panic attacks at night/not sleeping very well since this has happened considering that my home was broken into twice previously several years ago. There is also no provision in our rental agreement that states a 3rd party may have a key to our apartment. Do I have any legal recourse? I'm not looking to sue anybody, I just need peace of mind until we can get a new place. | hm03rsq | hlyyfac | 1,637,819,376 | 1,637,799,457 | 55 | 6 | The landlord can choose to have the neighbor act as his agent and hold a copy of the key. Any requirements that apply to the landlord would also apply to your neighbor. Your neighbor should not be entering your apartment unless you were given proper notice. The only instance you know of the neighbor entering your apartment involved letting the fire department in. Since the fire department was responding to what was presumably an emergency situation, proper notice isn't required. Unless you can prove that your neighbor entered your apartment other times without notice, there's not much you are going to be able to do aside from moving out when your lease is up. | Not a lawyer Depending on what state you are in there might be something like a tenants union to help you advocate for yourself. It seems sketchy that your landlord gave the neighbor the key without you knowing. Here is a link to the national database I dont actually know if you are in the US but I hope that this helps. https://tenantsunion.org/about/national-tenant-resources | 1 | 19,919 | 9.166667 |
nkan8g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [MA] Landlord is not giving me my apartment keys or answering calls. What should I do ? I signed a lease 1 month back for an apartment which is professionally with the leasing office onsite. The move in day was Saturday May 22nd. I also paid my prorated rent for May. I had called the landlord 1 week in advance to schedule my apartment key pick up for 11 AM on May 22nd. I arrived on Saturday and the office was locked (Because of COVID they only let people in by appointment) which is ok, I tried calling the office number and no reply. I also tried calling from the doorbell system and no reply. I waited 2 hours, called multiple times and sent an email to the office email address. Still, no one answered. I called Multiple times today (Monday May 24th) when I got time in between work and still no one answered What would be the best course of action in this situation ? Should I sign a lease elsewhere ? Is the leasing agreement violated and no longer executable ? I won't have a place to stay at in a few days if I don't act fast. | gzbvbk5 | gzbydid | 1,621,897,861 | 1,621,899,434 | 29 | 121 | Not a lawyer but definitely check your lease which they should have allowed you to keep a copy of upon signing. There should be a section that says what happens in events like these; I know my lease does. If so, go by whatever the lease says until you can get a hold of someone. | Not a legal remedy per se (and obligatory I am not a lawyer), but you could knock on one of your new neighbor's doors and introduce yourself and find out what the emergency number is in case of things like major water leaks/sewer backups, etc. While this number will more likely put you in contact with the maintenance team, I guarantee you *they* know how to reach the property manager. Even if they won't give you the number directly, there's no legitimate reason they would be unwilling to pass on a message, given the nature of your circumstances. | 0 | 1,573 | 4.172414 |
nkan8g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [MA] Landlord is not giving me my apartment keys or answering calls. What should I do ? I signed a lease 1 month back for an apartment which is professionally with the leasing office onsite. The move in day was Saturday May 22nd. I also paid my prorated rent for May. I had called the landlord 1 week in advance to schedule my apartment key pick up for 11 AM on May 22nd. I arrived on Saturday and the office was locked (Because of COVID they only let people in by appointment) which is ok, I tried calling the office number and no reply. I also tried calling from the doorbell system and no reply. I waited 2 hours, called multiple times and sent an email to the office email address. Still, no one answered. I called Multiple times today (Monday May 24th) when I got time in between work and still no one answered What would be the best course of action in this situation ? Should I sign a lease elsewhere ? Is the leasing agreement violated and no longer executable ? I won't have a place to stay at in a few days if I don't act fast. | gzbsv0b | gzbydid | 1,621,896,595 | 1,621,899,434 | 5 | 121 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. | Not a legal remedy per se (and obligatory I am not a lawyer), but you could knock on one of your new neighbor's doors and introduce yourself and find out what the emergency number is in case of things like major water leaks/sewer backups, etc. While this number will more likely put you in contact with the maintenance team, I guarantee you *they* know how to reach the property manager. Even if they won't give you the number directly, there's no legitimate reason they would be unwilling to pass on a message, given the nature of your circumstances. | 0 | 2,839 | 24.2 |
nkan8g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [MA] Landlord is not giving me my apartment keys or answering calls. What should I do ? I signed a lease 1 month back for an apartment which is professionally with the leasing office onsite. The move in day was Saturday May 22nd. I also paid my prorated rent for May. I had called the landlord 1 week in advance to schedule my apartment key pick up for 11 AM on May 22nd. I arrived on Saturday and the office was locked (Because of COVID they only let people in by appointment) which is ok, I tried calling the office number and no reply. I also tried calling from the doorbell system and no reply. I waited 2 hours, called multiple times and sent an email to the office email address. Still, no one answered. I called Multiple times today (Monday May 24th) when I got time in between work and still no one answered What would be the best course of action in this situation ? Should I sign a lease elsewhere ? Is the leasing agreement violated and no longer executable ? I won't have a place to stay at in a few days if I don't act fast. | gzbvbk5 | gzbsv0b | 1,621,897,861 | 1,621,896,595 | 29 | 5 | Not a lawyer but definitely check your lease which they should have allowed you to keep a copy of upon signing. There should be a section that says what happens in events like these; I know my lease does. If so, go by whatever the lease says until you can get a hold of someone. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. | 1 | 1,266 | 5.8 |
4jtvrt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | UPDATE 2: Uncle died, responsible for mentally disabled cousin (WA state/CA) Link to OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ Link to first update: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4eoziw/update_my_uncle_died_naming_me_in_his_will_as_the/ We (tentatively) found a new facility for my cousin! He is going to begin the transition fairly soon, after we are able to coordinate initial payments with his SSDI. He'll basically be spending a few hours there a few days a week for around 2 weeks, then transition into sleeping there a few nights a week, then transition to full on "move in day". My mom is going to go with him a few times. This facility isn't as fancy (the other one had a freakin' marble fountain) but the residents all seem happy/occupied/well taken care of, the staff has been welcoming and helpful, and they'll accept federal SSDI payments! The facility he is currently at is not charging us at all for the unpaid portion of his fees that were being paid by my uncle. I met with a lawyer, who put me in contact with an agency that helps you file for SSDI benefits. Filling out the information isn't all that difficult, but getting together all the documents from doctors was kind of a nightmare. We just got his claim submitted on Friday the 17 (after starting on this early May). The new facility has accepted him on the condition that he receives enough to pay (as I've told her I cannot), but the woman at their billing office said there's no way he wouldn't be eligible for enough so they're willing to start the move-in process without any payment. Sort of got in contact with my uncle's lawyer. He is in Ohio of all places, where my uncle apparently owns some land. I had not heard back from him after sending 3 emails. I called a number I found online, he told me to "come down to his office to talk about it" then hung up. I don't know where in Ohio he is located. Nor am I in Ohio. Called him back, he didn't return my calls, then called me back and left a really weird voicemail telling me he really can't talk about it over the phone or in email, but nothing was urgent. So I've kind of given up on this guy. My mom is in contact with a group of people from her country in the Midwest and is currently trying to find a lawyer to help her. I don't know if she'll have any luck but I've kind of given up on this guy. I don't think my uncle died with any sort of money/estate that would make a meaningful difference in my cousin's quality of care and I don't plan of investing too much of my own very limited resources right now. I am wondering if there is a resource to look up landholdings online? This is in Ohio, but we don't know anything more specific other than my uncle's name. My cousin's maternal grandmother's estate (that was making payments to his old facility) is being "executed?" by one of her daughters. Their lawyer gave her my number, and she agreed to transfer over whatever amount an individual can receive as a gift while still maintaining SSDI benefits. We're not sure what that number will look like. Any ideas? Thanks to everybody who replied. This was/is pretty crazy to go through and all the really helpful advice and comments on this sub made things easier. :) | d39mxuz | d39tcd0 | 1,463,534,688 | 1,463,544,072 | 22 | 34 | Find info here http://www.supremecourt.ohio.gov/AttySvcs/AttyReg/Public_AttorneyInformation.asp That's some bullshit customer service though. | This isn't legal advice but I had commented on your first post and having worked in adult special education and having an adult autistic intellectually impaired son myself I just wanted to say what you are doing is really great. Your uncle went about this the wrong way and should have consulted with you and helped you be prepared for this, but I don't think he could have chosen better. I've seen people who were brother and sister raised together and the parents die and the impaired sibling is put into a group home and never thought of again. One family I knew promised to take care of their special needs brother. Then they had a baby, the baby crying upset the brother so he had to move out, that was understandable. What wasn't was I never saw them. They visited twice after the initial move and these were people who were left money and a home with the purpose of caring for their brother. You're just really doing a good job. I know your cousin can't thank you nor your uncle so I just wanted to say from a mama to you Thank You! It just really warms my heart. Oh and as to what everyone else is saying, any lawyer who behaves that way seems very shady. Please consult a lawyer of your own if you stand to inherit anything or if your cousin stands to inherit anything. | 0 | 9,384 | 1.545455 |
4jtvrt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | UPDATE 2: Uncle died, responsible for mentally disabled cousin (WA state/CA) Link to OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ Link to first update: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4eoziw/update_my_uncle_died_naming_me_in_his_will_as_the/ We (tentatively) found a new facility for my cousin! He is going to begin the transition fairly soon, after we are able to coordinate initial payments with his SSDI. He'll basically be spending a few hours there a few days a week for around 2 weeks, then transition into sleeping there a few nights a week, then transition to full on "move in day". My mom is going to go with him a few times. This facility isn't as fancy (the other one had a freakin' marble fountain) but the residents all seem happy/occupied/well taken care of, the staff has been welcoming and helpful, and they'll accept federal SSDI payments! The facility he is currently at is not charging us at all for the unpaid portion of his fees that were being paid by my uncle. I met with a lawyer, who put me in contact with an agency that helps you file for SSDI benefits. Filling out the information isn't all that difficult, but getting together all the documents from doctors was kind of a nightmare. We just got his claim submitted on Friday the 17 (after starting on this early May). The new facility has accepted him on the condition that he receives enough to pay (as I've told her I cannot), but the woman at their billing office said there's no way he wouldn't be eligible for enough so they're willing to start the move-in process without any payment. Sort of got in contact with my uncle's lawyer. He is in Ohio of all places, where my uncle apparently owns some land. I had not heard back from him after sending 3 emails. I called a number I found online, he told me to "come down to his office to talk about it" then hung up. I don't know where in Ohio he is located. Nor am I in Ohio. Called him back, he didn't return my calls, then called me back and left a really weird voicemail telling me he really can't talk about it over the phone or in email, but nothing was urgent. So I've kind of given up on this guy. My mom is in contact with a group of people from her country in the Midwest and is currently trying to find a lawyer to help her. I don't know if she'll have any luck but I've kind of given up on this guy. I don't think my uncle died with any sort of money/estate that would make a meaningful difference in my cousin's quality of care and I don't plan of investing too much of my own very limited resources right now. I am wondering if there is a resource to look up landholdings online? This is in Ohio, but we don't know anything more specific other than my uncle's name. My cousin's maternal grandmother's estate (that was making payments to his old facility) is being "executed?" by one of her daughters. Their lawyer gave her my number, and she agreed to transfer over whatever amount an individual can receive as a gift while still maintaining SSDI benefits. We're not sure what that number will look like. Any ideas? Thanks to everybody who replied. This was/is pretty crazy to go through and all the really helpful advice and comments on this sub made things easier. :) | d39tcd0 | d39t5v1 | 1,463,544,072 | 1,463,543,747 | 34 | 11 | This isn't legal advice but I had commented on your first post and having worked in adult special education and having an adult autistic intellectually impaired son myself I just wanted to say what you are doing is really great. Your uncle went about this the wrong way and should have consulted with you and helped you be prepared for this, but I don't think he could have chosen better. I've seen people who were brother and sister raised together and the parents die and the impaired sibling is put into a group home and never thought of again. One family I knew promised to take care of their special needs brother. Then they had a baby, the baby crying upset the brother so he had to move out, that was understandable. What wasn't was I never saw them. They visited twice after the initial move and these were people who were left money and a home with the purpose of caring for their brother. You're just really doing a good job. I know your cousin can't thank you nor your uncle so I just wanted to say from a mama to you Thank You! It just really warms my heart. Oh and as to what everyone else is saying, any lawyer who behaves that way seems very shady. Please consult a lawyer of your own if you stand to inherit anything or if your cousin stands to inherit anything. | My brother is handicapped. Just so you know each year my mother has to take him for a checkup to prove that he is still disabled. He has Cerebral Palsey. I'm pretty sure it's incurable. Anyway, it's that or lose the benefits. | 1 | 325 | 3.090909 |
4jtvrt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | UPDATE 2: Uncle died, responsible for mentally disabled cousin (WA state/CA) Link to OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ Link to first update: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4eoziw/update_my_uncle_died_naming_me_in_his_will_as_the/ We (tentatively) found a new facility for my cousin! He is going to begin the transition fairly soon, after we are able to coordinate initial payments with his SSDI. He'll basically be spending a few hours there a few days a week for around 2 weeks, then transition into sleeping there a few nights a week, then transition to full on "move in day". My mom is going to go with him a few times. This facility isn't as fancy (the other one had a freakin' marble fountain) but the residents all seem happy/occupied/well taken care of, the staff has been welcoming and helpful, and they'll accept federal SSDI payments! The facility he is currently at is not charging us at all for the unpaid portion of his fees that were being paid by my uncle. I met with a lawyer, who put me in contact with an agency that helps you file for SSDI benefits. Filling out the information isn't all that difficult, but getting together all the documents from doctors was kind of a nightmare. We just got his claim submitted on Friday the 17 (after starting on this early May). The new facility has accepted him on the condition that he receives enough to pay (as I've told her I cannot), but the woman at their billing office said there's no way he wouldn't be eligible for enough so they're willing to start the move-in process without any payment. Sort of got in contact with my uncle's lawyer. He is in Ohio of all places, where my uncle apparently owns some land. I had not heard back from him after sending 3 emails. I called a number I found online, he told me to "come down to his office to talk about it" then hung up. I don't know where in Ohio he is located. Nor am I in Ohio. Called him back, he didn't return my calls, then called me back and left a really weird voicemail telling me he really can't talk about it over the phone or in email, but nothing was urgent. So I've kind of given up on this guy. My mom is in contact with a group of people from her country in the Midwest and is currently trying to find a lawyer to help her. I don't know if she'll have any luck but I've kind of given up on this guy. I don't think my uncle died with any sort of money/estate that would make a meaningful difference in my cousin's quality of care and I don't plan of investing too much of my own very limited resources right now. I am wondering if there is a resource to look up landholdings online? This is in Ohio, but we don't know anything more specific other than my uncle's name. My cousin's maternal grandmother's estate (that was making payments to his old facility) is being "executed?" by one of her daughters. Their lawyer gave her my number, and she agreed to transfer over whatever amount an individual can receive as a gift while still maintaining SSDI benefits. We're not sure what that number will look like. Any ideas? Thanks to everybody who replied. This was/is pretty crazy to go through and all the really helpful advice and comments on this sub made things easier. :) | d39tcd0 | d39rz9x | 1,463,544,072 | 1,463,541,729 | 34 | 4 | This isn't legal advice but I had commented on your first post and having worked in adult special education and having an adult autistic intellectually impaired son myself I just wanted to say what you are doing is really great. Your uncle went about this the wrong way and should have consulted with you and helped you be prepared for this, but I don't think he could have chosen better. I've seen people who were brother and sister raised together and the parents die and the impaired sibling is put into a group home and never thought of again. One family I knew promised to take care of their special needs brother. Then they had a baby, the baby crying upset the brother so he had to move out, that was understandable. What wasn't was I never saw them. They visited twice after the initial move and these were people who were left money and a home with the purpose of caring for their brother. You're just really doing a good job. I know your cousin can't thank you nor your uncle so I just wanted to say from a mama to you Thank You! It just really warms my heart. Oh and as to what everyone else is saying, any lawyer who behaves that way seems very shady. Please consult a lawyer of your own if you stand to inherit anything or if your cousin stands to inherit anything. | 1.What state did your uncle die/resident of (drivers license/voter records/etc)? That is where the estate should be probated (will or no will). 2.What state is your cousin in? As that is where the probate court or the like will appoint a guardian (of the body) and conservator (of the money) for your cousin 3.No matter what is in this alleged will both you and the court have to ok the appointment. You can't be forced to do it against your will. 4.If you think it is fishy call the state bar. 5.Most states have pro se forms for Guardian/conservator so you can start the appointment process (if you want to) that way. | 1 | 2,343 | 8.5 |
4jtvrt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | UPDATE 2: Uncle died, responsible for mentally disabled cousin (WA state/CA) Link to OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ Link to first update: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4eoziw/update_my_uncle_died_naming_me_in_his_will_as_the/ We (tentatively) found a new facility for my cousin! He is going to begin the transition fairly soon, after we are able to coordinate initial payments with his SSDI. He'll basically be spending a few hours there a few days a week for around 2 weeks, then transition into sleeping there a few nights a week, then transition to full on "move in day". My mom is going to go with him a few times. This facility isn't as fancy (the other one had a freakin' marble fountain) but the residents all seem happy/occupied/well taken care of, the staff has been welcoming and helpful, and they'll accept federal SSDI payments! The facility he is currently at is not charging us at all for the unpaid portion of his fees that were being paid by my uncle. I met with a lawyer, who put me in contact with an agency that helps you file for SSDI benefits. Filling out the information isn't all that difficult, but getting together all the documents from doctors was kind of a nightmare. We just got his claim submitted on Friday the 17 (after starting on this early May). The new facility has accepted him on the condition that he receives enough to pay (as I've told her I cannot), but the woman at their billing office said there's no way he wouldn't be eligible for enough so they're willing to start the move-in process without any payment. Sort of got in contact with my uncle's lawyer. He is in Ohio of all places, where my uncle apparently owns some land. I had not heard back from him after sending 3 emails. I called a number I found online, he told me to "come down to his office to talk about it" then hung up. I don't know where in Ohio he is located. Nor am I in Ohio. Called him back, he didn't return my calls, then called me back and left a really weird voicemail telling me he really can't talk about it over the phone or in email, but nothing was urgent. So I've kind of given up on this guy. My mom is in contact with a group of people from her country in the Midwest and is currently trying to find a lawyer to help her. I don't know if she'll have any luck but I've kind of given up on this guy. I don't think my uncle died with any sort of money/estate that would make a meaningful difference in my cousin's quality of care and I don't plan of investing too much of my own very limited resources right now. I am wondering if there is a resource to look up landholdings online? This is in Ohio, but we don't know anything more specific other than my uncle's name. My cousin's maternal grandmother's estate (that was making payments to his old facility) is being "executed?" by one of her daughters. Their lawyer gave her my number, and she agreed to transfer over whatever amount an individual can receive as a gift while still maintaining SSDI benefits. We're not sure what that number will look like. Any ideas? Thanks to everybody who replied. This was/is pretty crazy to go through and all the really helpful advice and comments on this sub made things easier. :) | d39t5v1 | d39rz9x | 1,463,543,747 | 1,463,541,729 | 11 | 4 | My brother is handicapped. Just so you know each year my mother has to take him for a checkup to prove that he is still disabled. He has Cerebral Palsey. I'm pretty sure it's incurable. Anyway, it's that or lose the benefits. | 1.What state did your uncle die/resident of (drivers license/voter records/etc)? That is where the estate should be probated (will or no will). 2.What state is your cousin in? As that is where the probate court or the like will appoint a guardian (of the body) and conservator (of the money) for your cousin 3.No matter what is in this alleged will both you and the court have to ok the appointment. You can't be forced to do it against your will. 4.If you think it is fishy call the state bar. 5.Most states have pro se forms for Guardian/conservator so you can start the appointment process (if you want to) that way. | 1 | 2,018 | 2.75 |
4jtvrt | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | UPDATE 2: Uncle died, responsible for mentally disabled cousin (WA state/CA) Link to OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ Link to first update: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4eoziw/update_my_uncle_died_naming_me_in_his_will_as_the/ We (tentatively) found a new facility for my cousin! He is going to begin the transition fairly soon, after we are able to coordinate initial payments with his SSDI. He'll basically be spending a few hours there a few days a week for around 2 weeks, then transition into sleeping there a few nights a week, then transition to full on "move in day". My mom is going to go with him a few times. This facility isn't as fancy (the other one had a freakin' marble fountain) but the residents all seem happy/occupied/well taken care of, the staff has been welcoming and helpful, and they'll accept federal SSDI payments! The facility he is currently at is not charging us at all for the unpaid portion of his fees that were being paid by my uncle. I met with a lawyer, who put me in contact with an agency that helps you file for SSDI benefits. Filling out the information isn't all that difficult, but getting together all the documents from doctors was kind of a nightmare. We just got his claim submitted on Friday the 17 (after starting on this early May). The new facility has accepted him on the condition that he receives enough to pay (as I've told her I cannot), but the woman at their billing office said there's no way he wouldn't be eligible for enough so they're willing to start the move-in process without any payment. Sort of got in contact with my uncle's lawyer. He is in Ohio of all places, where my uncle apparently owns some land. I had not heard back from him after sending 3 emails. I called a number I found online, he told me to "come down to his office to talk about it" then hung up. I don't know where in Ohio he is located. Nor am I in Ohio. Called him back, he didn't return my calls, then called me back and left a really weird voicemail telling me he really can't talk about it over the phone or in email, but nothing was urgent. So I've kind of given up on this guy. My mom is in contact with a group of people from her country in the Midwest and is currently trying to find a lawyer to help her. I don't know if she'll have any luck but I've kind of given up on this guy. I don't think my uncle died with any sort of money/estate that would make a meaningful difference in my cousin's quality of care and I don't plan of investing too much of my own very limited resources right now. I am wondering if there is a resource to look up landholdings online? This is in Ohio, but we don't know anything more specific other than my uncle's name. My cousin's maternal grandmother's estate (that was making payments to his old facility) is being "executed?" by one of her daughters. Their lawyer gave her my number, and she agreed to transfer over whatever amount an individual can receive as a gift while still maintaining SSDI benefits. We're not sure what that number will look like. Any ideas? Thanks to everybody who replied. This was/is pretty crazy to go through and all the really helpful advice and comments on this sub made things easier. :) | d3a2cwq | d3a2emb | 1,463,569,928 | 1,463,570,064 | 2 | 3 | Did they say they would apply him for ssdi or ssi? Ssi is disability for people who never worked. Ssdi is for people who have worked. Just want to make sure they are applying correctly. | Oh also wanted to add on ssi you can't have more than $2000 in the bank. If you are looking at a lot more than you need a special needs trust established. If he has more than $2000 he will lose benefits. | 0 | 136 | 1.5 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq2fvp | dwq66e2 | 1,522,754,105 | 1,522,759,565 | 26 | 782 | Adverse possession is much more complicated and much less common than non-lawyers seem to think. It's highly unlikely that this is part of his plan. | Send a letter that if he would like to tend to the landscaping because it improves his view he is free to do so, however that in no way should be construed as possession, adverse or otherwise and can, under no circumstances, grant him any sort of easement on your property. It also does not mean that you are willing to reimburse him for any expense he chooses to undertake in the improvement of his view. If he wants to undertake the landscaping it is completely at his expense. If he disagrees with any of that, then send him another letter that you would prefer to do your own landscaping, starting with a nice fence. :) Cheers! | 0 | 5,460 | 30.076923 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq9nff | dwqc36b | 1,522,763,398 | 1,522,765,731 | 115 | 246 | Be more concerned about the ripening of an easement than adverse possession. They could try to claim some continued use or prescriptive easements for their “prized” landscaping. This would give them almost the same rights as possession but they would not be able to exclude you from use or access, it would still limit what you can do because you would not be able to interfere with their use of the terms of the easement. I would landscape it to your liking, maybe move their sculpture back to their yard, and as someone else mentioned add a fence if that’s in the budget. | I had a similar situation when I bought my house, the neighbors had landscaped and maintained a strip of land next to their lot. We had a survey done and told them we would be changing the landscaping to ‘match’ our property. They complained that the previous owners gave them permission to landscape and that it cost them a lot of money. I told them they could dig up and reuse any plants they wanted to keep. Turns out the irrigation was connected to their lot so we re-did that as well. They weren’t thrilled but it gave us peace of mind to assert our ownership of that strip. | 0 | 2,333 | 2.13913 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq8ncv | dwqc36b | 1,522,762,369 | 1,522,765,731 | 103 | 246 | Posession has to be adverse and hostile. Meaning they are doing it without permission and treating it as their own. Just send him an email stating that you're okay with their continued maintenance of the hillside, and you appreciate it, and if they want some fresh baked cookies as a thank you that you'll be happy to drop them off. Keep a copy of the email. If they try to adversely possess years later you can show the use was permissive. | I had a similar situation when I bought my house, the neighbors had landscaped and maintained a strip of land next to their lot. We had a survey done and told them we would be changing the landscaping to ‘match’ our property. They complained that the previous owners gave them permission to landscape and that it cost them a lot of money. I told them they could dig up and reuse any plants they wanted to keep. Turns out the irrigation was connected to their lot so we re-did that as well. They weren’t thrilled but it gave us peace of mind to assert our ownership of that strip. | 0 | 3,362 | 2.38835 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwqc36b | dwq2fvp | 1,522,765,731 | 1,522,754,105 | 246 | 26 | I had a similar situation when I bought my house, the neighbors had landscaped and maintained a strip of land next to their lot. We had a survey done and told them we would be changing the landscaping to ‘match’ our property. They complained that the previous owners gave them permission to landscape and that it cost them a lot of money. I told them they could dig up and reuse any plants they wanted to keep. Turns out the irrigation was connected to their lot so we re-did that as well. They weren’t thrilled but it gave us peace of mind to assert our ownership of that strip. | Adverse possession is much more complicated and much less common than non-lawyers seem to think. It's highly unlikely that this is part of his plan. | 1 | 11,626 | 9.461538 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq9nff | dwq8ncv | 1,522,763,398 | 1,522,762,369 | 115 | 103 | Be more concerned about the ripening of an easement than adverse possession. They could try to claim some continued use or prescriptive easements for their “prized” landscaping. This would give them almost the same rights as possession but they would not be able to exclude you from use or access, it would still limit what you can do because you would not be able to interfere with their use of the terms of the easement. I would landscape it to your liking, maybe move their sculpture back to their yard, and as someone else mentioned add a fence if that’s in the budget. | Posession has to be adverse and hostile. Meaning they are doing it without permission and treating it as their own. Just send him an email stating that you're okay with their continued maintenance of the hillside, and you appreciate it, and if they want some fresh baked cookies as a thank you that you'll be happy to drop them off. Keep a copy of the email. If they try to adversely possess years later you can show the use was permissive. | 1 | 1,029 | 1.116505 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq2fvp | dwq9nff | 1,522,754,105 | 1,522,763,398 | 26 | 115 | Adverse possession is much more complicated and much less common than non-lawyers seem to think. It's highly unlikely that this is part of his plan. | Be more concerned about the ripening of an easement than adverse possession. They could try to claim some continued use or prescriptive easements for their “prized” landscaping. This would give them almost the same rights as possession but they would not be able to exclude you from use or access, it would still limit what you can do because you would not be able to interfere with their use of the terms of the easement. I would landscape it to your liking, maybe move their sculpture back to their yard, and as someone else mentioned add a fence if that’s in the budget. | 0 | 9,293 | 4.423077 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq8ncv | dwq2fvp | 1,522,762,369 | 1,522,754,105 | 103 | 26 | Posession has to be adverse and hostile. Meaning they are doing it without permission and treating it as their own. Just send him an email stating that you're okay with their continued maintenance of the hillside, and you appreciate it, and if they want some fresh baked cookies as a thank you that you'll be happy to drop them off. Keep a copy of the email. If they try to adversely possess years later you can show the use was permissive. | Adverse possession is much more complicated and much less common than non-lawyers seem to think. It's highly unlikely that this is part of his plan. | 1 | 8,264 | 3.961538 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwq2fvp | dwqud3a | 1,522,754,105 | 1,522,780,661 | 26 | 101 | Adverse possession is much more complicated and much less common than non-lawyers seem to think. It's highly unlikely that this is part of his plan. | You are starting off at a distinct disadvantage. Your neighbor is a real estate attorney and knows what he is doing. Also, he knows what his own intentions are. You don't. The first thing you do is go find a VERY experienced real estate attorney for an hours consultation (even if you have to pay - which will be a very good long term investment). Take pictures (hillside and easement area), a copy of your deed along with the easement description and any plot plan you have (zillow has a pretty good set of plot plans of the neighborhood, that you can get a screen capture of). You are going to want to discuss .... * The adverse possession of the hillside, * The easement The community of real estate attorneys in even a large city such as Seattle is relatively small. They will all know at least of each other. What you will get in addition to legal advice - is - Oh, John is a real SoB or John is a real nice guy. That will help you get a read on your "neighbor" (the opposition). You will probably be advised to get a survey of your lot. Probably be advised to put up a fence. You are probably good on averse possession as he would need to show that he has been paying property taxes on your hillside. * https://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=7.28.070 | 0 | 26,556 | 3.884615 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwql266 | dwqud3a | 1,522,773,338 | 1,522,780,661 | 25 | 101 | If he starts abusing his legal sophistication to fuck with you, report him to the state bar. They will tell him to knock it off, and he'll listen. | You are starting off at a distinct disadvantage. Your neighbor is a real estate attorney and knows what he is doing. Also, he knows what his own intentions are. You don't. The first thing you do is go find a VERY experienced real estate attorney for an hours consultation (even if you have to pay - which will be a very good long term investment). Take pictures (hillside and easement area), a copy of your deed along with the easement description and any plot plan you have (zillow has a pretty good set of plot plans of the neighborhood, that you can get a screen capture of). You are going to want to discuss .... * The adverse possession of the hillside, * The easement The community of real estate attorneys in even a large city such as Seattle is relatively small. They will all know at least of each other. What you will get in addition to legal advice - is - Oh, John is a real SoB or John is a real nice guy. That will help you get a read on your "neighbor" (the opposition). You will probably be advised to get a survey of your lot. Probably be advised to put up a fence. You are probably good on averse possession as he would need to show that he has been paying property taxes on your hillside. * https://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=7.28.070 | 0 | 7,323 | 4.04 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwrldnf | dwqvkvr | 1,522,803,271 | 1,522,781,588 | 9 | 5 | You definitely want to consult a local real estate attorney. But at least the statute is potentially helpful as it specifies payment of taxes for 7 years in addition to possession. If you're being assessed taxes for the entire parcel that's a strong mark in your favor. You want to talk to a local attorney because that statute may be modified by case law. Regardless, interrupting the use ASAP is in your best interest. | When you purchased the property, it's almost a 100% certainty that a survey was done. Look at the survey to get an idea of the boundaries. If they end up claiming that land that you purchased is theirs via adverse possession, you can make a claim on your title insurance. However, just because they make a claim doesn't mean that they will get the land. So long as you are using the property as well, they won't win the underlying case. | 1 | 21,683 | 1.8 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwrldnf | dwrar6a | 1,522,803,271 | 1,522,793,581 | 9 | 7 | You definitely want to consult a local real estate attorney. But at least the statute is potentially helpful as it specifies payment of taxes for 7 years in addition to possession. If you're being assessed taxes for the entire parcel that's a strong mark in your favor. You want to talk to a local attorney because that statute may be modified by case law. Regardless, interrupting the use ASAP is in your best interest. | Get a survey, fence it off. | 1 | 9,690 | 1.285714 |
89cl54 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Real estate lawyer neighbor trying adverse possession on half our backyard? (Seattle, WA) My partner and I purchased our first home less than a year ago, and have begun to notice strange behavior from our neighbors as we have done work to maintain our hillside, which is adjacent to a driveway easement that they use. (All of which is clearly documented as being on our property) The previous owner did not do much maintenance on that hill and our neighbors hired a gardener, planted ferns, a tree, and a large lawn sculpture on it some unknown time before we moved in. Very soon after moving in last year, we told them that we would take over maintenance of the hill, but didn’t suspect any foul play. As spring rolls back around, whenever they notice us tending the hillside they have been sure to tell us about all the plants and work they put into that hill and they have been trimming our bushes without our permission. They have been avoidant when we try to bring up the property boundaries in conversation We just learned about adverse possession, and now are VERY concerned that our real estate lawyer neighbor who settles boundary disputes for a living has been playing a long con and may try take over what equates to half our backyard. We are planning to broach this with them in writing (send a text message and a certified letter). Is there anything we should/should not say in that letter, and what should we do if this escalates further? | dwrar6a | dwqvkvr | 1,522,793,581 | 1,522,781,588 | 7 | 5 | Get a survey, fence it off. | When you purchased the property, it's almost a 100% certainty that a survey was done. Look at the survey to get an idea of the boundaries. If they end up claiming that land that you purchased is theirs via adverse possession, you can make a claim on your title insurance. However, just because they make a claim doesn't mean that they will get the land. So long as you are using the property as well, they won't win the underlying case. | 1 | 11,993 | 1.4 |
9drapm | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | (US-WA-Seattle) Neighbor Wants to Tow My Car TL;DR: Neighbor has irrational love of the parking spot in front of their group house and thinks his lease means he owns it. City disagrees but neighbor still want to tow my car if its there. What can I do if they do that happens? So I live in a north Seattle neighborhood that doesn't have sidewalks and instead has these gravel areas on the side of the road. Like a lot of urban areas parking is at a premium especially when the local college starts back up. Part of the students coming back means that the rental that is next door to me fills up with a new batch of kids. We old folks in the neighborhood call it "the dorms". They have somewhere from 7-10 people there every year. They certainly don't have enough parking spots off-street for everyone living there. Evidently, this year, the guys in 'the dorms' have decided that the spot on the street is also theirs. If there isn't room in front of my house I have a hierarchy of places and one of my dead last places is in front of their house but it has happened 2 times (just overnight)in the last few weeks. Each time they leave notes taped to my car and the latest round said they'd tow my car. For the record, I'm not blocking their drive way. I'm not parking on the grass. There is nothing illegal about it. Today I went up and knocked on the door on their door in response to the 3 notes taped (why not put them under the wiper?!) to my car threatening to tow it. They believe that their lease entitles them to the street parking. I pointed out that its a public street and their landlord can't promise the street parking as part of the deal. Called both Parking Enforcement (Seattle police) and Seattle Department of Transportation who reiterated that those places are considered public right of way and that it is legal to park there as long as I'm not blocking a driveway or leaving a car for more than 3 days. My concern is that they're still going to try and tow my car if I end up parking there again. Parking Enforcement said if they're called about it that they would not authorize a tow of my car but sometimes people call private tow companies and lie saying its their car. What would be legal options if my car gets towed and what would be appropriate? Is there something I should do to head it off other than not parking there? | e5jlt56 | e5jktok | 1,536,305,115 | 1,536,303,217 | 13 | 4 | Talk to their landlord and tell him they're threatening to have cars that park there towed even though it's public parking. | Not a lawyer, but maybe taking a time stamped photo of the car parked legally if you need to park it there, will help you should they lie their way into having your car illegally towed? | 1 | 1,898 | 3.25 |
9drapm | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | (US-WA-Seattle) Neighbor Wants to Tow My Car TL;DR: Neighbor has irrational love of the parking spot in front of their group house and thinks his lease means he owns it. City disagrees but neighbor still want to tow my car if its there. What can I do if they do that happens? So I live in a north Seattle neighborhood that doesn't have sidewalks and instead has these gravel areas on the side of the road. Like a lot of urban areas parking is at a premium especially when the local college starts back up. Part of the students coming back means that the rental that is next door to me fills up with a new batch of kids. We old folks in the neighborhood call it "the dorms". They have somewhere from 7-10 people there every year. They certainly don't have enough parking spots off-street for everyone living there. Evidently, this year, the guys in 'the dorms' have decided that the spot on the street is also theirs. If there isn't room in front of my house I have a hierarchy of places and one of my dead last places is in front of their house but it has happened 2 times (just overnight)in the last few weeks. Each time they leave notes taped to my car and the latest round said they'd tow my car. For the record, I'm not blocking their drive way. I'm not parking on the grass. There is nothing illegal about it. Today I went up and knocked on the door on their door in response to the 3 notes taped (why not put them under the wiper?!) to my car threatening to tow it. They believe that their lease entitles them to the street parking. I pointed out that its a public street and their landlord can't promise the street parking as part of the deal. Called both Parking Enforcement (Seattle police) and Seattle Department of Transportation who reiterated that those places are considered public right of way and that it is legal to park there as long as I'm not blocking a driveway or leaving a car for more than 3 days. My concern is that they're still going to try and tow my car if I end up parking there again. Parking Enforcement said if they're called about it that they would not authorize a tow of my car but sometimes people call private tow companies and lie saying its their car. What would be legal options if my car gets towed and what would be appropriate? Is there something I should do to head it off other than not parking there? | e5jktok | e5jthii | 1,536,303,217 | 1,536,320,555 | 4 | 10 | Not a lawyer, but maybe taking a time stamped photo of the car parked legally if you need to park it there, will help you should they lie their way into having your car illegally towed? | Knowing students they're probably just blowing smoke. Hiring a tow truck isn't cheap and that's money they could spend on booze and cheap weed. If you're worried about them doing it anyway and telling the tow truck driver that it's there car, put a note in the windscreen saying "Do Not Tow - I belong to <Name/Address/Contact Number>" just to give the kids some awkward questions to answer when the truck driver arrives. | 0 | 17,338 | 2.5 |
9drapm | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | (US-WA-Seattle) Neighbor Wants to Tow My Car TL;DR: Neighbor has irrational love of the parking spot in front of their group house and thinks his lease means he owns it. City disagrees but neighbor still want to tow my car if its there. What can I do if they do that happens? So I live in a north Seattle neighborhood that doesn't have sidewalks and instead has these gravel areas on the side of the road. Like a lot of urban areas parking is at a premium especially when the local college starts back up. Part of the students coming back means that the rental that is next door to me fills up with a new batch of kids. We old folks in the neighborhood call it "the dorms". They have somewhere from 7-10 people there every year. They certainly don't have enough parking spots off-street for everyone living there. Evidently, this year, the guys in 'the dorms' have decided that the spot on the street is also theirs. If there isn't room in front of my house I have a hierarchy of places and one of my dead last places is in front of their house but it has happened 2 times (just overnight)in the last few weeks. Each time they leave notes taped to my car and the latest round said they'd tow my car. For the record, I'm not blocking their drive way. I'm not parking on the grass. There is nothing illegal about it. Today I went up and knocked on the door on their door in response to the 3 notes taped (why not put them under the wiper?!) to my car threatening to tow it. They believe that their lease entitles them to the street parking. I pointed out that its a public street and their landlord can't promise the street parking as part of the deal. Called both Parking Enforcement (Seattle police) and Seattle Department of Transportation who reiterated that those places are considered public right of way and that it is legal to park there as long as I'm not blocking a driveway or leaving a car for more than 3 days. My concern is that they're still going to try and tow my car if I end up parking there again. Parking Enforcement said if they're called about it that they would not authorize a tow of my car but sometimes people call private tow companies and lie saying its their car. What would be legal options if my car gets towed and what would be appropriate? Is there something I should do to head it off other than not parking there? | e5k26ya | e5jktok | 1,536,330,161 | 1,536,303,217 | 10 | 4 | No tow company is going to tow a private vehicle from a public street unless the city tells them to. HOWEVER People like this will almost certainly resort to petty vandalism. Can you see your car from your house? Cameras might be a good investment here. I would start by having a conversation with your PD's neighborhood sergeant (or whatever Seattle has for that) because they almost certainly know about this person. You want to start a paper trail for when they try to tow your car, the city refuses, and they instead key your door, slash your tires, or smash your windows. | Not a lawyer, but maybe taking a time stamped photo of the car parked legally if you need to park it there, will help you should they lie their way into having your car illegally towed? | 1 | 26,944 | 2.5 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d228me6 | d224rze | 1,460,611,135 | 1,460,604,133 | 266 | 165 | Seems to me like your uncle named you because he trusted that you would figure something out to help your cousin. So far it sounds like he placed his trust wisely. | I will reiterate: Anyone PMing you is in violation of the rules of this sub. I would def contact the Mods and name names. That's eff'd up. That said, I wouldn't give up the hunt for a pro bono attorney to help with this. An option to consider is seeking an attorney for your cousin and not you. Being disabled, theres probably an organization that would assist placing him in a good situation. Only probably is such an attorney would work in your interest which could be a problem. But something to consider. | 1 | 7,002 | 1.612121 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d228me6 | d226pvt | 1,460,611,135 | 1,460,607,478 | 266 | 46 | Seems to me like your uncle named you because he trusted that you would figure something out to help your cousin. So far it sounds like he placed his trust wisely. | >cousin is in the bay area of California You may want to find another location as the Bay Area's high COL is certainly driving up your cousin's cost of care. | 1 | 3,657 | 5.782609 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d228me6 | d228297 | 1,460,611,135 | 1,460,610,019 | 266 | 30 | Seems to me like your uncle named you because he trusted that you would figure something out to help your cousin. So far it sounds like he placed his trust wisely. | Good stuff, especially for stepping up when you didn't *technically* have any obligation to do so. I feel like you're taking all the right steps but just repeating that you should definitely still try and find a pro bono lawyer, and regarding: >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... That may or may not require a lawyer, but getting in touch with whoever is the trustee or responsible for managing these payments *before* you settle on a new facility for your cousin would be a good idea, just so that they're on-board with the process and don't pop up with other objections after that decision's been finalised/the cousin moved/etc. Edit: Oh, and thanks for the update! | 1 | 1,116 | 8.866667 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d228me6 | d2276gt | 1,460,611,135 | 1,460,608,357 | 266 | 15 | Seems to me like your uncle named you because he trusted that you would figure something out to help your cousin. So far it sounds like he placed his trust wisely. | >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... This shouldn't be too difficult if you can find the right information. Estates usually close after a certain period of time. It could be that your cousin is the beneficiary of a trust set up for him by his grandmother. Talk to the place he is at to see who is sending them the checks, then talk to that person for more details. If it is a trust, you need to find out who the trustee is. You might also be able to look up the estate of the grandmother in the court records for more information. I know money is tight, but keep trying to find a lawyer. Having someone who can look at everything in detail and help you figure this out could be invaluable. Try to find a legal aid nonprofit, they may be able to help you. | 1 | 2,778 | 17.733333 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d2276gt | d228297 | 1,460,608,357 | 1,460,610,019 | 15 | 30 | >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... This shouldn't be too difficult if you can find the right information. Estates usually close after a certain period of time. It could be that your cousin is the beneficiary of a trust set up for him by his grandmother. Talk to the place he is at to see who is sending them the checks, then talk to that person for more details. If it is a trust, you need to find out who the trustee is. You might also be able to look up the estate of the grandmother in the court records for more information. I know money is tight, but keep trying to find a lawyer. Having someone who can look at everything in detail and help you figure this out could be invaluable. Try to find a legal aid nonprofit, they may be able to help you. | Good stuff, especially for stepping up when you didn't *technically* have any obligation to do so. I feel like you're taking all the right steps but just repeating that you should definitely still try and find a pro bono lawyer, and regarding: >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... That may or may not require a lawyer, but getting in touch with whoever is the trustee or responsible for managing these payments *before* you settle on a new facility for your cousin would be a good idea, just so that they're on-board with the process and don't pop up with other objections after that decision's been finalised/the cousin moved/etc. Edit: Oh, and thanks for the update! | 0 | 1,662 | 2 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22ehxw | d2276gt | 1,460,630,022 | 1,460,608,357 | 19 | 15 | OP thanks for updating. And I just wanted to say: we see a lot of fuck-ups in this sub: self-righteous arrogant entitled pricks who think they're above the law. And a smattering of other types: passive-aggressive to an absurd extreme. Enablers. People who are simply, well, dumb. Etc. etc. You appear to be level-headed, responsible and interested in doing the right thing -- without sacrificing yourself in the process. I think I understand why your uncle did what he did. Good luck! | >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... This shouldn't be too difficult if you can find the right information. Estates usually close after a certain period of time. It could be that your cousin is the beneficiary of a trust set up for him by his grandmother. Talk to the place he is at to see who is sending them the checks, then talk to that person for more details. If it is a trust, you need to find out who the trustee is. You might also be able to look up the estate of the grandmother in the court records for more information. I know money is tight, but keep trying to find a lawyer. Having someone who can look at everything in detail and help you figure this out could be invaluable. Try to find a legal aid nonprofit, they may be able to help you. | 1 | 21,665 | 1.266667 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22ehxw | d229cq4 | 1,460,630,022 | 1,460,612,777 | 19 | 6 | OP thanks for updating. And I just wanted to say: we see a lot of fuck-ups in this sub: self-righteous arrogant entitled pricks who think they're above the law. And a smattering of other types: passive-aggressive to an absurd extreme. Enablers. People who are simply, well, dumb. Etc. etc. You appear to be level-headed, responsible and interested in doing the right thing -- without sacrificing yourself in the process. I think I understand why your uncle did what he did. Good luck! | Not legal advice, but I work with people with disabilities. Remember when you do see your cousin that your cousin just lost somebody important to them. Be helpful and supportive as much as you can, because, even though it may hurt now, it's going to be ok. It's hard to express or even process feelings when something bad happens. Especially if you can't speak. | 1 | 17,245 | 3.166667 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22ehxw | d22d8t3 | 1,460,630,022 | 1,460,625,230 | 19 | 8 | OP thanks for updating. And I just wanted to say: we see a lot of fuck-ups in this sub: self-righteous arrogant entitled pricks who think they're above the law. And a smattering of other types: passive-aggressive to an absurd extreme. Enablers. People who are simply, well, dumb. Etc. etc. You appear to be level-headed, responsible and interested in doing the right thing -- without sacrificing yourself in the process. I think I understand why your uncle did what he did. Good luck! | Wow, 2.5k a month from your uncle and then two others still pay? That place is insanely expensive. | 1 | 4,792 | 2.375 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d229cq4 | d22jv3h | 1,460,612,777 | 1,460,641,928 | 6 | 10 | Not legal advice, but I work with people with disabilities. Remember when you do see your cousin that your cousin just lost somebody important to them. Be helpful and supportive as much as you can, because, even though it may hurt now, it's going to be ok. It's hard to express or even process feelings when something bad happens. Especially if you can't speak. | I have no advice and I'm not a lawyer. I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a good job doing what you can to help your cousin. I have a cousin who is also severely disabled and an adult. (Luckily his parents are both still living and married.) There's no involving him in discussions about what he wants. He's also non-verbal and has the cognitive abilities of an 18 month old, if that. So I'm going to assume that anyone that PMed you otherwise does not have a similar experience and that's why they were jerks to you. I figured off the bat your cousin had a similar situation to mine and didn't even think twice about it. One thing I will add though, make sure you have guardianship of him. I'm not sure what all that involves but I know when my cousin turned 18 his parents had to file all sorts of paperwork and some in court to basically still manage his finances (such as they are) and medical needs. Also, the facility he's at, or another one if you move him, will likely have a social worker on staff that can help with figuring a lot of this stuff out. | 0 | 29,151 | 1.666667 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22d8t3 | d22jv3h | 1,460,625,230 | 1,460,641,928 | 8 | 10 | Wow, 2.5k a month from your uncle and then two others still pay? That place is insanely expensive. | I have no advice and I'm not a lawyer. I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a good job doing what you can to help your cousin. I have a cousin who is also severely disabled and an adult. (Luckily his parents are both still living and married.) There's no involving him in discussions about what he wants. He's also non-verbal and has the cognitive abilities of an 18 month old, if that. So I'm going to assume that anyone that PMed you otherwise does not have a similar experience and that's why they were jerks to you. I figured off the bat your cousin had a similar situation to mine and didn't even think twice about it. One thing I will add though, make sure you have guardianship of him. I'm not sure what all that involves but I know when my cousin turned 18 his parents had to file all sorts of paperwork and some in court to basically still manage his finances (such as they are) and medical needs. Also, the facility he's at, or another one if you move him, will likely have a social worker on staff that can help with figuring a lot of this stuff out. | 0 | 16,698 | 1.25 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22jv3h | d22es6h | 1,460,641,928 | 1,460,631,003 | 10 | 3 | I have no advice and I'm not a lawyer. I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a good job doing what you can to help your cousin. I have a cousin who is also severely disabled and an adult. (Luckily his parents are both still living and married.) There's no involving him in discussions about what he wants. He's also non-verbal and has the cognitive abilities of an 18 month old, if that. So I'm going to assume that anyone that PMed you otherwise does not have a similar experience and that's why they were jerks to you. I figured off the bat your cousin had a similar situation to mine and didn't even think twice about it. One thing I will add though, make sure you have guardianship of him. I'm not sure what all that involves but I know when my cousin turned 18 his parents had to file all sorts of paperwork and some in court to basically still manage his finances (such as they are) and medical needs. Also, the facility he's at, or another one if you move him, will likely have a social worker on staff that can help with figuring a lot of this stuff out. | I'd just like to say that you're doing great making sure your cousin is looked after, and you're an amazing person. I hope everything turns out for the best. | 1 | 10,925 | 3.333333 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d229cq4 | d22d8t3 | 1,460,612,777 | 1,460,625,230 | 6 | 8 | Not legal advice, but I work with people with disabilities. Remember when you do see your cousin that your cousin just lost somebody important to them. Be helpful and supportive as much as you can, because, even though it may hurt now, it's going to be ok. It's hard to express or even process feelings when something bad happens. Especially if you can't speak. | Wow, 2.5k a month from your uncle and then two others still pay? That place is insanely expensive. | 0 | 12,453 | 1.333333 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22es6h | d22knoh | 1,460,631,003 | 1,460,643,105 | 3 | 4 | I'd just like to say that you're doing great making sure your cousin is looked after, and you're an amazing person. I hope everything turns out for the best. | Apologies if this was previously answered and I missed it, but I'm confused by part of your post. Is your cousin currently a regional center client? You mentioned them in the context of federal benefits, which makes me wonder if all these services/benefits have not been properly explained to you. Signing up with a regional center is a different process than signing up for social security disability, for example. I'm currently working for a (different) regional center and don't mind filling in whatever blanks they've left. | 0 | 12,102 | 1.333333 |
4eoziw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: My uncle died, naming me in his will as the person "in charge" of my mentally disabled cousin OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4cdclm/my_uncle_died_leaving_me_in_charge_of_my_mentally/ So about 2 weeks have passed since my last post and I thought I would update all the helpful people here on the situation. My most immediate concern with all of this was making sure my cousin would not be turned out of the facility he has been living in because I, nor any other members of my family, are able to afford the monthly fees there. When the facility called me for the first time, the woman on the phone *sort of* made it seem like I could possibly be on the hook for the fees, but definitely did not state that outright. I called back and asked to speak with a manager, ended up getting their head of the billing department (it's a pretty small place). She explained to me that the facility does not accept SSDI, and that my uncle was paying out of pocket for about $2500/mo, his ex-wife's mother's estate (??) was paying another large portion, and a church charity program was paying the rest. She was really re-assuring, told me that they would continue to care for my cousin regardless of whether or not the bill was being paid in full (w/out my uncle's portion), and asked to keep in contact regarding progress figuring out funding for my cousin so he can move to a facility that will accept SSDI/other benefits. There was no time frame given for this. Last weekend, my mother and I took Friday off work and flew to the bay to meet with my cousin and to try and figure out some next steps. It was hard logistically because it was the weekend, but we were able to tour some facilities that do accept federal/state benefits. 3 out of the 4 had in-house employees who help you get your relatives signed up for benefits/act as an advocate with the regional center. Speaking of the regional center, my cousin has an appointment this week to be evaluated by a case worker for federal benefits. The facility I liked the most told me it should be a fairly quick process, as my cousin has been extremely disabled his entire life. I haven't heard back from my uncle's lawyer who e-mailed me. I sent him another email a few days ago, just asking for any updates. At this point, I cannot hire my own lawyer. I make my bills every month. Some people have told me to take out a small loan, as it may be worth it if my uncle has left me money, but I honestly cannot. The law school gave me some information for some attorneys that do discounted work. I've contacted 3 of them, none have gotten back to me so far. So ... that's it... it's looking like a long process but I'm dedicated to making sure his quality of life is maintained. Remaining questions: How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? That seems like it would absolutely require a lawyer... If I can't afford my own lawyer to look into my uncle's finances, do I have to just wait for his to get back to me? That one seems obvious, but maybe there's something I don't know. Is there something else I could be doing right now? Even if it isn't strictly legal advice, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you so much for everybody for all their help. It's really made a stressful situation more manageable. Also, I've gotten a few PMs basically saying "you are treating your cousin like a child, he's a disabled adult" "it's so fucked up your not including your cousin in this decision" etc. My cousin is completely non-verbal. It is nearly impossible to hold his attention for more than a moment, and that's only if you have food in your hand. He can be very violent, and is not safe to be around alone. I would love to include him in this decision, but that's not an option. Also for everybody using male pronouns for me, I am a girl lol. But I know the base assumption for anons on reddit is male. EDIT: I am in WA state, cousin is in the bay area of California. Mother is in Los Angeles, and does not speak English fluently for those asking why she isn't taking more of a proactive role in all of this. | d22ssht | d22ludx | 1,460,653,595 | 1,460,644,778 | 3 | 2 | I admire what you're doing OP. You're in a tough situation you didn't ask for, and are doing the best you can for your cousin. | Does your cousin have any family in CA who are active in his life at all? If not, is there a specific reason to keep him in CA, especially the bay area? I'm concerned that the very high cost of living here will be an ongoing issue. And, speaking as a middle aged woman who has never been able to afford an attorney if I needed one....this is a time when I'd find a way to make it happen, somehow. I honestly feel you would spend fewer hours working a shit job to pay the lawyer then you'll spend figuring out complete, accurate answers to questions such as: >How do I go about trying to transfer the payments my cousin's maternal grandmother's estate is making to a new facility? and >Is a will written by somebody without the involvement of an attorney/notary/typical will people still valid? and >look into my uncle's finances ...&... his ex-wife's mother's estate and most certainly >legal advice as far as conservatorship/etc goes These are excellent, important questions, which you need to have completely and properly answered in a timely manner. I wish you the very best of luck, and respect you mightily for your efforts on your cousin's behalf. Thanks for update. | 1 | 8,817 | 1.5 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jdrax | d9je5mb | 1,478,140,845 | 1,478,141,322 | 75 | 4,799 | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | He needs a criminal defense attorney. And you need to think about why your daughter (YOUR daughter) felt that she needed to take this to the police. Because while I'm totally on board with her not being out of pocket over this I do rather wonder why she felt she needed to do this. And the normal reason is because she felt he gets away with everything and the pair of you are just facilitating his behaviour. Lets face it - this wasn't a spur of the moment one time purchase. He did it 5 times. And you seem more ticked off at her than him. | 0 | 477 | 63.986667 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jdrax | d9jhfmu | 1,478,140,845 | 1,478,145,303 | 75 | 2,071 | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | North Carolina automatically treats anyone over the age of 16 as an adult when they commit a crime. This is normal. Your son needs a lawyer and is likely looking at jail. According to this it might be classified as a felony, which means actual prison. Your daughter is under no obligation to not report a crime. Now for the non legal advice Just throwing money at a problem is not gonna help your stepson. He needs to be busted. You seem to be under the impression he has been robbed in some way. He has not. | 0 | 4,458 | 27.613333 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jdrax | d9ji0f7 | 1,478,140,845 | 1,478,145,984 | 75 | 1,365 | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | Raise your stepson better? I mean, yes your daughter is absolutely entitled to report this to the police. She was the victim of a crime, and suffered likely more than just the amount used, especially if she didn't know and they became overdue and affected her credit. To fix any issues with her credit as a result of this, the bank and reporting agencies likely required a police report. As for what you do for your step son in the immediate short term? Get him a good criminal defence attorney. | 0 | 5,139 | 18.2 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jpe2e | d9jqyjj | 1,478,160,224 | 1,478,165,720 | 359 | 668 | Good on your daughter. Your step son needs to learn doing adult things means adult consequences and you need to stop enabling him. What are you going to do when he has a car accident or gets arrested for assault or something serious along those lines in the future? Responsible parenting isn't trying to make it go away, it's teaching them not to do it in the first place and if they do it to face the consequences. Spend the $3000 you were giving your daughter on a lawyer if you're that desperate to help him. | Just a thought - before considering posting bail, find out whether it would be an issue for the perpetrator to be in contact with the victim/witness. Because I'm guessing both the stealing stepson and the distressed daughter live with you. And for goodness sake, if they're not allowed to be in contact, HE is the one who needs to stay elsewhere. And he needs to pony up for it himself - he's already cost your family money, time and energy. How are you supporting your daughter at this difficult time? | 0 | 5,496 | 1.860724 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jqyjj | d9jpr64 | 1,478,165,720 | 1,478,161,455 | 668 | 197 | Just a thought - before considering posting bail, find out whether it would be an issue for the perpetrator to be in contact with the victim/witness. Because I'm guessing both the stealing stepson and the distressed daughter live with you. And for goodness sake, if they're not allowed to be in contact, HE is the one who needs to stay elsewhere. And he needs to pony up for it himself - he's already cost your family money, time and energy. How are you supporting your daughter at this difficult time? | Well, he stole 3,000 dollars from her, so... Get a lawyer. | 1 | 4,265 | 3.390863 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jqyjj | d9jdrax | 1,478,165,720 | 1,478,140,845 | 668 | 75 | Just a thought - before considering posting bail, find out whether it would be an issue for the perpetrator to be in contact with the victim/witness. Because I'm guessing both the stealing stepson and the distressed daughter live with you. And for goodness sake, if they're not allowed to be in contact, HE is the one who needs to stay elsewhere. And he needs to pony up for it himself - he's already cost your family money, time and energy. How are you supporting your daughter at this difficult time? | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | 1 | 24,875 | 8.906667 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jdrax | d9jpe2e | 1,478,140,845 | 1,478,160,224 | 75 | 359 | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | Good on your daughter. Your step son needs to learn doing adult things means adult consequences and you need to stop enabling him. What are you going to do when he has a car accident or gets arrested for assault or something serious along those lines in the future? Responsible parenting isn't trying to make it go away, it's teaching them not to do it in the first place and if they do it to face the consequences. Spend the $3000 you were giving your daughter on a lawyer if you're that desperate to help him. | 0 | 19,379 | 4.786667 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jrkdj | d9jpr64 | 1,478,167,854 | 1,478,161,455 | 212 | 197 | Fuck him, that's what happens. He's gonnna learn today. My cousin did the same shit to my grandma for roughly the same ammount, and he got off scott free since they couldn't prove that he was the one who made the transactions, even though they went into his own personal paypal account. This was Arizona by the way. He deserves to go to jail for this, regardless if you, and daddy wrote a check or not. | Well, he stole 3,000 dollars from her, so... Get a lawyer. | 1 | 6,399 | 1.076142 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jrkdj | d9jdrax | 1,478,167,854 | 1,478,140,845 | 212 | 75 | Fuck him, that's what happens. He's gonnna learn today. My cousin did the same shit to my grandma for roughly the same ammount, and he got off scott free since they couldn't prove that he was the one who made the transactions, even though they went into his own personal paypal account. This was Arizona by the way. He deserves to go to jail for this, regardless if you, and daddy wrote a check or not. | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | 1 | 27,009 | 2.826667 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jdrax | d9jpr64 | 1,478,140,845 | 1,478,161,455 | 75 | 197 | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | Well, he stole 3,000 dollars from her, so... Get a lawyer. | 0 | 20,610 | 2.626667 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jrtw9 | d9jdrax | 1,478,168,720 | 1,478,140,845 | 145 | 75 | Let him rot. Once is a warning. 5 times? He is beyond hope. Why is he more important than your daughter? Would you feel such a strong need to come to his aid if he raped your daughter instead, 5 times? She is still the victim. He victimized her multiple times. | Hire a criminal defense attorney. Like now. | 1 | 27,875 | 1.933333 |
5auc12 | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | NC: My stepson (17M) used my daughter's (18F) credit card 5 times, for between $500 and $700 each totaling $3000. My husband and I wrote her a check but she didn't cash it and went to the police. My stepson is in custody on 5 ADULT charges. What to do? | d9jrtw9 | d9jrl8k | 1,478,168,720 | 1,478,167,936 | 145 | 60 | Let him rot. Once is a warning. 5 times? He is beyond hope. Why is he more important than your daughter? Would you feel such a strong need to come to his aid if he raped your daughter instead, 5 times? She is still the victim. He victimized her multiple times. | What the hell did this kid spend $3000 on? | 1 | 784 | 2.416667 |
9fcbzl | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Intoxicated ex-friend assaulted me and fell off my roof; her mother is trying to sue me for her medical bills. (Texas) So, about three months ago, a friend of mine and her friend (both 21) showed up to my house unannounced and extremely intoxicated at around 11:30 at night. I was about 4 months pregnant at the time, so I didn’t drink. We hung out for about an hour and talked and laughed and then she mentioned heading home soon. At this point, her speech was slurred and she could barely stand up. I told her she should spend the night as she was super drunk and it was a 45 minute drive home. For whatever reason, this enraged her and she became extremely irate. She started screaming and saying things like, “I drink and drive all the time, why the fuck do you think I won’t make it home this time?” I told her that her logic was stupid and that she really needed to find a ride home or stay the night, either was fine with me. Her screaming woke my daughter (5) up so I went inside to tuck her back into bed. While I’m tucking her in, I hear my friend’s car peel out of the driveway. Her friend who had only had a couple drinks was sitting on my porch and said that she refused to leave with my friend driving. I call the police because not only was she extremely drunk, but angry and driving erratically. I’m in the middle of telling them the direction she left in when I see that she has turned around and is pulling back into my driveway. She runs off the side of my culvert and comes within 6 inches of hitting my mother’s vehicle. She apparently came back to fight because she immediately jumps out of the vehicle and begins screaming again. She approaches me and begins trying to fight me. She punched me in the arm (not very hard), which left a small bruise. While I’m trying to fight her off, her friend takes the keys out of her ignition and hands them to me. I throw the keys onto my roof, which my friend notices. I threaten to call the police again because the drunk driving has now turned into assault. I go inside to get my phone and call the police again, when I hear a loud thud outside. She had climbed onto my roof to retrieve her keys and had fallen off. She broke two teeth and bit a hole into her lip. I took her to the ER, and sat with her until her mother arrived. Her mother proceeds to begin yelling at me saying “I’m gonna sue you for every penny you’re worth because I know your little boyfriend has money!” I leave the ER and forget about the whole situation. I block my friend on Facebook and move on my life. Until I get a call today from the friend, who calls to tell me that her mom is still going to sue me and that I need to pay the ~$10,000 that her insurance (BCBS) won’t pay. Is there even a snowball’s chance in hell that she could sue me over this? What steps and legal precautions do I need to take? | e5ve5gu | e5ven7y | 1,536,791,087 | 1,536,791,545 | 359 | 594 | If she sues, you need to answer. If she doesn't, you don't need to do anything, nor should you. But, as this is presented, her mother has no standing to sue you. In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to get a copy of any police report that was generated and/or transcripts of the 911 call. | You should contact your homeowner's insurance and make them aware of the threats. If served you should let them know, they'll likely represent you in the matter. I would be skeptical of you being successfully sued for this. However if you DO NOT RESPOND to a suit the other party will receive a default judgment against you. | 0 | 458 | 1.654596 |
9fcbzl | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Intoxicated ex-friend assaulted me and fell off my roof; her mother is trying to sue me for her medical bills. (Texas) So, about three months ago, a friend of mine and her friend (both 21) showed up to my house unannounced and extremely intoxicated at around 11:30 at night. I was about 4 months pregnant at the time, so I didn’t drink. We hung out for about an hour and talked and laughed and then she mentioned heading home soon. At this point, her speech was slurred and she could barely stand up. I told her she should spend the night as she was super drunk and it was a 45 minute drive home. For whatever reason, this enraged her and she became extremely irate. She started screaming and saying things like, “I drink and drive all the time, why the fuck do you think I won’t make it home this time?” I told her that her logic was stupid and that she really needed to find a ride home or stay the night, either was fine with me. Her screaming woke my daughter (5) up so I went inside to tuck her back into bed. While I’m tucking her in, I hear my friend’s car peel out of the driveway. Her friend who had only had a couple drinks was sitting on my porch and said that she refused to leave with my friend driving. I call the police because not only was she extremely drunk, but angry and driving erratically. I’m in the middle of telling them the direction she left in when I see that she has turned around and is pulling back into my driveway. She runs off the side of my culvert and comes within 6 inches of hitting my mother’s vehicle. She apparently came back to fight because she immediately jumps out of the vehicle and begins screaming again. She approaches me and begins trying to fight me. She punched me in the arm (not very hard), which left a small bruise. While I’m trying to fight her off, her friend takes the keys out of her ignition and hands them to me. I throw the keys onto my roof, which my friend notices. I threaten to call the police again because the drunk driving has now turned into assault. I go inside to get my phone and call the police again, when I hear a loud thud outside. She had climbed onto my roof to retrieve her keys and had fallen off. She broke two teeth and bit a hole into her lip. I took her to the ER, and sat with her until her mother arrived. Her mother proceeds to begin yelling at me saying “I’m gonna sue you for every penny you’re worth because I know your little boyfriend has money!” I leave the ER and forget about the whole situation. I block my friend on Facebook and move on my life. Until I get a call today from the friend, who calls to tell me that her mom is still going to sue me and that I need to pay the ~$10,000 that her insurance (BCBS) won’t pay. Is there even a snowball’s chance in hell that she could sue me over this? What steps and legal precautions do I need to take? | e5ven7y | e5ve073 | 1,536,791,545 | 1,536,790,953 | 594 | 243 | You should contact your homeowner's insurance and make them aware of the threats. If served you should let them know, they'll likely represent you in the matter. I would be skeptical of you being successfully sued for this. However if you DO NOT RESPOND to a suit the other party will receive a default judgment against you. | Let her sue. Answer the summons. She committed several crimes, assaulted you, caused emotional distress to you, your unborn child, and your daughter. Don’t pay anything unless ordered to do so by a judge. | 1 | 592 | 2.444444 |
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