text
stringlengths 1
3.14k
| label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|
In need of some kind words..Ive been bullied severely throughout high school and even though it has stopped, I still feel so depressed and suicidal everyday. I dont have anyone to comfort me because I feel like a nuisance when I talk about my feelings so i rarely do. If its not too much to ask maybe you guys could share some nice thoughts or quotes or anything uplifting to help me, and anyone reading this who feels the same way, get through these dark times. | suicide |
um so how tall are you guys just curious, because I feel like I'm very short | non-suicide |
The view from halfway up.I cant leave the work parking lot. Its a hospital and Im supposed to be a doctor. Ive been here for two hours just sitting crying and kind of stuck. I know if I drive down the multi-storey carpark and drive home, I wont be able to come to work tomorrow, probably having done something. I also cant go up, I know how easy it would be to jump. Im just stuck. | suicide |
Finally it's friday No more exams for months Finally no need to do school work for some time | non-suicide |
I QuitWhy is everyone else here? How do you guys hold on? I feel like I'm going to give up any day now, with no real plan beyond some kind of cathartic ending that leaves everyone with very little closure or comfort. I finally convinced my doctors to take me off all my medication in March, something I was in fact very proud about. I was actually feeling really great, right up until I tried to kill myself on April th. Every day since then has been anxiety attacks and violent thoughts towards myself, with an underlying inability to cope with even the smallest inconveniences. It's important to mention that I don't think of my suicide attempt as a mistake, just a failure. Had there been any success I wouldn't be whining to you guys now. It's simply the misery of knowing I'm still alive when I have no reason to live that really kills me. The one thing that haunted me the worst after I survived, wasn't a memory or effect, or anything I had felt; I just couldn't stop wondering why I am still alive. It's been days since I tried, and every day I've wanted to try again. I finally gave in and decided to talk to my doctor about medications, because the anxiety attacks that have followed my suicide attempt have made living basically unbearable. What once was a mildly off putting occasional gift, became a consistent plight on regular life, and somehow I still can't help but feel like I'm giving up. I was so proud of getting off medication and now that I feel myself about to have to go on them again I feel like I'm moving backwards. All this progress for nothing, and all that. Then again it's the apathy that really hits me the hardest. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk to people anymore, I don't want to watch movies anymore. I don't want to play video games anymore, or work out, or research, or anything else I'd loved so much. I don't even want to sleep, but sleeping is the easiest way to ignore everything else, so it's all I ever end up doing. Fuck I feel so close to the end and I don't even have it in me to want to roll over, I just want to lay in place and day. But I can't, so I just keep living. | suicide |
Day of posting my fav Twenty ne pilts lyrics one order a car, a torch, a death- from the album self titled- by twenty one pilots Quote:"And then I felt chills in my bones The breath I saw was not my own I knew my skin that wrapped my frame Wasn't made to play this game And then I saw him, torch in hand He laid it out, what he had planned And then I said I'll take the grave Please just send them all my way And then I felt chills in my bones The breath I saw was not my own I knew my skin that wrapped my frame Wasn't made to play this game And then I saw him, torch in hand He laid it out, what he had planned And then I said I'll take the grave Please just send them all my way I began to understand why God died" - Tyler Joseph | non-suicide |
(Day of quarantine) I'm starting this daily post untill I get out thingy A bit of context:- I'm a huge need but I'm also an athlete. My only "mental health stabilizer" was playing basketball. I am on our varsity basketball team btw. It's been days since I last played basketball. Now you can imagine in what state I am. I'm still gonna stay in cuz alot of doctors are giving up their lives to save us. | non-suicide |
Everything will always be easy I'm indestructible I know better than everyone I am better than my parents I am talented I am free | non-suicide |
Killing myself at years oldIm currently in college right now. Im % sure that I want to die. Theres nothing I want to do with my life except kill myself. I used to have dreams of wanting to get a gf and eventually raise a family and have a good career, but I dont want any of that anymore. Im too defective of a human being to have any of this. I do nothing to improve myself. Id rather just end everything rather than go deeper down the never ending spiral of misery and loneliness. In fact, I want literally nothing in life except death. I want it as soon as possible. | suicide |
Here's a Super Underrated Badass Song [ | non-suicide |
My crush asked me out...! ....I said no. Maybe because I didn't want to hurt him or distract him from his studies as we study the same subjects which are definitely hard. He even once asked me which coaching institute I go to so he can come with me and study together and also we'll go there on two wheelers and he will apply sudden breaks (yk jerk stopping) and FAAAAAKKKKKKKKKK I said NOO FMITA. That's it. This was another crush post. | non-suicide |
YOUTUBE VIDEO GAME ART CHANNEL Hello Everyone! I create video game characters with a D PEN. Here are links to some of my D pen video tutorials: D Pen Fall Guys Character: D Pen Blue Pikmin: D Pen Fall Guys x Among Us Character: D Pen Minecraft Kirby: D Pen Fall Guys Crown: D Pen Paper Mario: Metal Wire Goomba: D Pen Cookie Character \[BT\] Shooky: If you like the videos, be sure to subscribe! I will be making even more video game characters soon. | non-suicide |
Did I get raped as a kid but either forgot it or got drugged?I will shorten this story and only tell you the most important things. I am years old and the following happened about years ago. When I was in th or th grade I slept over at a friend house couple times. His mother died and his father was arabian and couldnt speak alot german ( I am from Germany). He always cooked us food and was quiet but very nice. We used to play Playstation the whole night and eventually go to bed at or . One Night a friend of my friends father also stayed overnight. I only remember that both of them already slept when we went to bed and fell asleep. My memories from now on are VERY foggy. I only know that I stood in the living room, it was bright outside already, and I was crying. His dad came and tried to comfort me and told me I should go back to my friends room and try to sleep a bit more. Normally I would say i just had a bad dream and was sleep walking ( I sleep walked alot as a kid) but I will explain you why I think I might got raped yrs later. When i hit puberty I was always VERY scared of my dad touching me or being a pedophile although he never ever did such things and is a great dad. I also used to be a funny clown always making joked and I had ton of friends in middle school. After puberty I was very quiet and shy, still had friends though. Since I was a kid I always get overwhelmed with emotional and sad/depressing thoughts. I still often just sit around and loose all patience for the real world and I am in my head. But overall i am not weird from the outside, never had problems at finding freinds etc. Since one year I suffer from depression and low selfesteem. I do not remember anything from what happened that night, is it possible that my brain just deleted disturbing memories? Or did they give me pills to forget everything? I highly doubt that I was raped but maybe my depressions and weird thoughts could be a result of being raped? | suicide |
I don't have a picture of myself in a skirt, or a skirt to picture myself in, but for the first time in over a year I have a reasonable idea about what I might want to do with my life :D Despite consistent pressure from my parents to go to college, they have given me sufficient skills in woodworking for me to have a decent chance of becoming a carpenter | non-suicide |
Why do I have to suffer from the things that which is not my fault?I feel like I'm stuck in an endless loop of pain. When I feel like I'm making some progress, something bad happens and I find myself sinking again. This started to be really annoying and these thoughts doesn't let me to have a normal day. I ask myself "why I'm doing that, I'll kill myself anyway" when I'm studying or something. The only minutes that I'm happy in a day was just before sleeping. Because I could think about a happy future and getting relaxed. Now, I can't even do that because I feel like those dreams are just dreams. They are unattainable, I'll never be able to make them come true and I'll kill myself. This just hurts. I'm not even sleeping peacefully for a while. I always wake up from nightmares and fall asleep because of tiredness when the sun is rising. All of these are so tiring. If these all were my fault, it would hurt less. But being born this way hurts a lot more because it's just not your fault. Like, you did nothing to deserve all of the pain but you keep suffering, because of what? I'm tired of thinking about these, and sometimes, killing myself seems to be only way to end this loop. | suicide |
Where can I find a link to the Merch? Just kidding I already get bullied enough | non-suicide |
Does it ever smell like ? Like sometimes Ill smell something and it reminds me of a year I was younger like, Wow that smells like ! | non-suicide |
A lesson on toxic friendships I have been friends with my small circle of people (about ) for a very long time. I am a person who cares a lot about what people think of me, even with close friends who I have known for a very long time. I always want to be the fun friend, the one everyone can come to when they have problems. Over the course of our friendship I have noticed more and more that I am always the one doing things. I make all of the plans. I feel like Im the only one putting in effort. So at the end of school/start of quarantine, I decided that I wouldnt make plans with my friends for as long as I could, just to see what happened. (My county of about , people has cases of corona, and we are not on a strict lock down) Over the - month period of quarantine, my friends made plans twice. And they were in the first month and a half. Since then, nothing. I still texted them semi regularly, but it just made me realize that I was in a relationship where I was the only one trying and actually putting in effort. I slowly stopped texting them, and they didnt start conversation either. By being on reddit over the last months, Ive met some really great people and although it was a bit scary to drop old friends that I have known for a really long time, I didnt really enjoy being around them anymore. TL;DR- I had always been the one to make plans with my friends, and over quarantine I stopped, and made new ones. Its scary breaking away from what you know but it helps in the long run. | non-suicide |
I wonder if people would react different if they received a message from their friend and they knew it was their one of their last messagesI wouldnt want to say exactly what your plan to do is, theyll think your attention seeking trash. Ive sent one of my last messages to one my friends and I hope her the best even though her response was lethargic | suicide |
please helpjust read my post history im too fucking tired to write the same thing again please somebody just say something | suicide |
MY STATE JUST MANDATED MASKS AT SCHOOLS WOOOOOOO FUCK YES filler text because automod is a fucking dumbads | non-suicide |
What are you guys saving up too buy? Im saving up for a new engine in my car. | non-suicide |
It is never getting better(I would first like to apologize for my english as it's not my first language and I just hope that this is something that belongs in this subreddit) I live a great life and I think about committing suicide every day. My childhood was great, filled with travel and encouragement towards whatever activity I was into for the moment. I have supportive parents who love one another and who loves my sister and I dearly and would do anything for us. I did exceptionally well in school and received high grades throughout all mandatory education. I got the first job I applied for after school and could pick whatever university degree due to my high grades. Wrapped up my degree at and somehow due to dumb luck landed a job that I am nowhere qualified enough for and its going great. I have been in supportive and healthy relationships since I was and my current partner loves me so very much. And still I think about dying every single day. So I just cant help but to think that it wont actually get better. This is just how it is. And I just dont know what to do anymore. All my life I have thought to myself oh when I have accomplished this or that I will finally be happy. And so I finish task after task thinking it will bring me happiness but it just never does. | suicide |
What do you call it when you give someone a wet willy in their butthole? A wet willy wonka | non-suicide |
Holy shit guys I actually did it!!! Insert generic story about getting a girlfriend or something yada yada yada | non-suicide |
I'm Still Alive - SomehowI don't know how I've managed to survive the past few months of constant suicidal ideation. I seriously mean when I say this sub has been helpful, even the trolls who said, "this guy is desperately seeking attention. Ignore." Do I feel better? Not really, but I know that I've made it months of months of desperately wanting to kill myself. Maybe at some point I won't be a totally miserable wreck, but for now I am stuck every day fighting to not kill myself. I don't know if anyone has ever recovered from feeling suicidal for such a long period of time but for now I'm still here. Sorry for wasting your time with this stupid post but I really wanted to say it. Goodbye. | suicide |
Wanting to Go But Too AfraidMy life sucks now and most likely always will suck. Lonely as fuck, no friends, definitely no romantic relationships. If it wasn't for paying for sex I'd definitely still be a virgin today. Constant rejection from the few friends I have had over the past couple years. I don't see a point in continuing this hell I'm in but I'm too fucking afraid to do anything. Closest I ever came was driving to a bridge and looking over the railing a couple years ago. Just couldn't climb over it let alone jump. Not wanting to be alive but being too pussy to do anything about it is a special kind of suffering. | suicide |
My brother is the devil He put a plate in the sink while i was doing the dishes The bid starts at $ | non-suicide |
Is an appetizer just food foreplay? It's what you have before the main thing, right? | non-suicide |
What If I told you guys sex is real? Yeh someone I know confirmed that someone he knows confirmed that its real, I know its a shock but its not a myth after all | non-suicide |
thigh reveal? yeah i think i should | non-suicide |
In crisisI do not want to be alive anymore. I want to give my son ( months) up for adoption and just be done here. I have novody to talk to and I can't do this shit on my own. I'd call a crisis line but last time I did that cops showed up and I went to the hospital. Is months old too old to give up for adoption, I don't want him to grow up thinking I didn't love him. I do t want to keep him because I am a shit mom a d don't want him to grow up to be like me | suicide |
A teenager is such a broad term wtf like the difference between a and a yo is crazy and somehow we're all put into the same bucket | non-suicide |
Haunted by the past, disengaged from the present, fearful of the future.Things are not looking good for me. | suicide |
I've bought different questionnaire/writing prompts books in the past few days.There's a lot to fill out. But when I'm done, I think I'm going to finally relieve myself. I just want those who want to know things about me, to have answers. I want to leave them filled out so whoever reads it will know my life, the good and the bad. I haven't had a terrible life. Well, not compared to some. But what I do know is that I don't want to spend much more time here. I'm ready to lead my next life, if there is one. If not, I'm ready to rest peacefully. | suicide |
Here's hoping to there being an afterlife or a life after this oneBye Bye, Friends, It's been great | suicide |
My foot has been hurting My foot has been hurting for a while, and idk what to do.tbf, I did kick sand really hard and that hurt my foot.Any tips? | non-suicide |
IM GETTING A CAR My cousin is giving me his Nissan Altima, good condition only cosmetic damage!! If you're out with your girl and you see my car pull up, know that ur gonna lose ur girl Pussymobile coming through | non-suicide |
I've had itThat's what my supposedly best friend said to me after living together for not even a month. I told her for years that it was a bad idea, that people who come too close to me just realise they hate me. She promised me that would never be the case. Here we are then. Everyone tells you not to believe all those depressive thoughts. But mine just always turn out to be true. Now I truly have no one left. That was the last person, and she finally realised that I'm just a piece of shit and she doesn't want to be anywhere near me. I don't blame her. I don't want to be anyone near me either. I'm just gonna kill myself. I'm sick of all this pain. This world definitely is not a place for me. I just fuck everything up and just when I think my pain can't get worse, it does. Fuck it, I've had it too. I've had it with almost seven years of this pain. I've had it with this world. I've had it with humanity. Won't be too long now. I don't even mind if she finds me. Hates my guts anyway, might even be delighted to now I'm not longer a burden to her in any way. | suicide |
How do you "Stay Alive"? By that I mean how do you cope with stress, having little to no one to talk about your emotions and general pain of existence? | non-suicide |
So I could really use someone's opinion So I've been talking to this girl for a while now and I really like her but like I dont know if I should tell her or not. But I think she might like me back but she also might not cause girls are very confusing. But seriously could someone help me out. | non-suicide |
I can no longer deal with itIm but ive been homeless for years now and i cant deal woth it anymore. The hunger. The cold. All of it is just too much. Plus my grades are tanking and i cant even go through a sentence with my mom without getting into an argument. This covid shit is only making things worse too. At this point i have been considering for years and it has finally gotten to the point where i dont see any reason to stay alive. I had been holding out by saying it would hurt my family and friends but apparently my friends are all sick of my shit and my mom says that we wouldn't be homeless if i had just never been born. So i think I'll remedy this. I am a shit person and i no longer deserve to be on this planet. I dont even know why i am writing this but if you see this thank you for reading my words. Truly. -JC | suicide |
happy international day of women and girls in science its almost over but today im celebrating but remembering the time i tried to take STEM in middle school to stick it to the patriarchy but was then slapped in the face with the reality that im just a dumb bitch props to you ladies though ill be supporting from the sidelines, i could never with my dumbass | non-suicide |
Honestly, Im thinking about doing it right nowI no longer care. I cant reach for help anymore and I dont know if I can make it to when I originally planned. I dont know what else to say. I have my method, suicide note ready & what really is the point of making it easier for others? Theyll be fine eventually. How nice it would feel for the pain to just end. To not feel anything. | suicide |
The egg man pulled out his inch blade fuck | non-suicide |
I have a class at am and its : am Regular classes start at :, but my dumbass elected to have an earlier period :) | non-suicide |
Bruh Ive gained , karma in the last week Can we get a poggies in chat?? | non-suicide |
I can't beleive I'm posting this...If anybody knows my username IRL , I'm screwed. But I cannot take it anymore. I have been secretly depressed for so long I cannot remember being happy , and not the fake "happy" crap I pull everyday. I've been suicidal for a long time and I'm planning to end it in days. The problem is I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to hurt my family and friends- which makes me feel worse.. I want to die, I would do it now if these two upcoming weeks weren't so important to my family. I want to jump off a bridge, it's a shorter highway bridge (maybe feet high- is that enough to kill me?) im thinking the concrete impact will be enough but I'm not sure. I'm crying now- then again I cry everynight , and I hardly get sleep. It used to be I could control my thoughts of death duringvthe day , but for the past month they come. I'll be sitting in class , doing work when it all hits me, it takes every part of my not to cry right then. Tell me - will this fall kill me? I honestly hope so.. I'm really scared to post this , I'm not sure if anyone in rl knows me.. If you do- please leave it alone. | suicide |
Poting here because my post on r/casualconverstion got delited_________i wanna cut my wrists (English is my nd language, so some words may be spelled wrong)Im currently in bed typing this, because my parents never come into my room. Lately sience school started, ive been seeing frends from my school, wich brings me a bit of joy, but it gives me a lot of anxaeaty to say a wrong word anywhere wich makes me wanna curl up into a ball, and die. I dont think i have depression, i may do, but i dont think so. the only thing that takes my mind of from it is pain, wheter ist poking myself with a pen to a point where i penetrate skin, or biting my hand to the point where blood starts coming out. Sence im a teenager, my parents have been putting a lot of pressure on me, to do tasks, chores, school and so on, my mom has even been making fun of me over the pandemic for not having any friends, and now when scholl is back, i cant hang out with anyone because im always buisy. My stepdad, instead of explaining what to do with tasks he gives me, he lectures me on how bad i am at everything, it gives me anxaety. Im constantly paranoid about evrything and i just want eberything to stop. I read that instead of cutting my wrists i draw on it. It didnt help, i just wanna cut my hands off and just let the blood bleed out, if anyone on reddit has been through this, please do you have any sugestions on what to do. Please | non-suicide |
just venting my realityI am a single year old man. I sleep on a shitty couch. In the cheapest apartment I can barely afford. Its always filthy. Too small to keep clean. I make less than k a year. I have to beg for my pay every weekend. I have no real shoes or clothes. I have no friends, I have no family. There is no one to talk with. I have no hope, I have no future. I only share in the lack of money, I am never given anything extra. I am alone. Not even a pet to keep me comforted. Only a reminder I couldnt afford to save him. I am a coward for not ending this life. Everyday I wake up here, Im reminded Im a coward. Coward. Failure. | suicide |
I've wanted to kill myself for over years...and feel like nobody I talk to realizes I'm serious. I have a date and a plan. I don't plan on changing anything...I just want to talk to other people that feel that nobody is hearing them. | suicide |
I ordered something off of eBay and it got delayed, nothing too out of the ordinary right? Well its in Oak Creek, which apparently is the worst usps facility or something. . stars and they haven't been able to get anyone there packages in decent time. People who payed for premium day shipping have said it's taken over days to get their packages. So uh, woo | non-suicide |
Just some thoughts?Suicide is an interesting topic for me. Its something I have witnessed both from family members and friends doing it along with my own tendencies. I always tell myself oh they are just thoughts I wont actually do it but In the end I know if it came down to it.. I would do it. And to me thats the scary part, the being uncertain until that moment comes. Just living my life in a shell of a lie, wearing a fake face. Im the greatest actor I know. When you play it off and pretend to be good, it ends up (at least in my case) just eating you up more. Its like the rings inside a tree marking its age, each ring inside me is just another year closer to my inevitable end. And yeah I know that goes for everyone cause everyone dies. But I can feel it getting closer for me. I feel like the one tree standing still in the logging site, and its day is about to come. And once Im gone? Nothing. Not even a memory. Sure you will have some time of warmth brought on by the burning of my memory but with time that fades. Then one day Im just an after thought no longer recognized. My life has been full of love and family, but for some reason I feel empty. And my fear as I read this back to myself shifts. The thing thats fears me the most isnt the ending of it, but rather what comes after. Will I be remembered? Will my spouse love and cherish me forever? Or within years will they have moved on and just forgotten me. Once my parents are gone... will there be no one to remember me? And in conclusion I can say with great assurance that my one fear over all is being a forgotten piece in this ever expanding time line. Thank you for your time, Goodnight. | suicide |
I just wanna diePlease i just wanna know a painless way of dying nothing else... | suicide |
Anyone got some good books about war to recommend As the title says Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Another poem Little Billy went to the zoo He saw animals in their own poo He said "why are these animals in their own shit? This is awful, who did it? Billy got executed, he lived in China | non-suicide |
online school is actually harder than irl school and it fucking sucks i got to choose if i wanted to go to school or do it online. and i chose online cause i thought it would be easier and bc i hate school with passion. anyways ive been only doing it for days and ive literally learnt nothing from it. i get classes everyday and as i said i learnt nothing from them. the guy in the video just reads off of the books and think that wed understand everything (the teachers send us videos and the homeworks bc we dont have zoom classes). the classes that i cant understand a thing from them are arabic, science and math. but for english, IS and SS theyre easy. but still i fucking hate them and want to die. i just started my first lesson and its arabic. even tho its my mother tongue i still cant understand shit from it. anyways thx for coming to my rant and have a good day. im sorry in advance if this doesnt make sense. im too lazy to read it again. ok bye now | non-suicide |
Anyone want to play Among Us with me? Im lonely and bored. Code is OTAHLQ. | non-suicide |
I'm literally going to the edge of the world to end my life.I've made up my mind. I'm either going to fly to Antarctica to die of hypothermia or fly to Egypt and walk through the desert until I collapse. I've already researched and roughly planned it all. My life has never amounted to anything. No girlfriend, no actual friends, I've literally put on a persona my whole life to survive social situations (no I'm not gay), I've never connected with people, and I'd rather go out some adventurous way than simple conventional methods. If locals ask me what I'm doing, I'll tell them the truth. I came here to die and walk into the unmerciful elements of mother nature. I have the right budget to pull this off and I feel at peace whenever it comes to mind. | suicide |
Why does anyone want me dead tho? I cant change myself. I cant choose to get over my social anxiety, i cant change i am simply not so good at social interactions... I cant change my face. I cant change the fact im small in comparison to the rest. I cant change my fucked up mental health... i cant change all the headaches i get everyday I just try to be nice tho... | non-suicide |
Anyone has sudden loss of appetites? my stomach can be growling ferociously for one hour but once food has arrived, my appetite suddenly goes and i don't feel like eating anymore??? | non-suicide |
Help about sexuality Hey yall, im a y/o straight dude, I think I'm Bi but I dont know for sure. I keep thinking im bi but my brain keeps telling me im straight(if that makes sense?). Im just looking for some advice, bcuz im confused and rlly lost. Thnx | non-suicide |
i guess i lost everyone again no more friends or love from now on i should've known the outcome would be the same thing again oh well | non-suicide |
wierd motivation to live.are you feeling like a waste of space? well even if you died you still would be, so you might as well live and be able to move around than to just be there. thats what ive been thinking about and so far i havnt had actual suicidal thoughts or plans. | suicide |
what to do when cat lik dik hypotheticle of course | non-suicide |
Nobody IRL I can talk to about this.I cant tell anyone how frightened, dreaded, hopeless and suicidal I have become in the past few weeks. I tried, but then I lied. went to get some kind of counseling and maybe rx for depression, anxiety, and hypothyroid. Of course dr. Wants to make a fuss about my blood pressure. So I fill in the surveys about depression, anxiety, and bipolar. I have no mania at all, so yes on the first two. Dr asks if I ever attempted suicide, i admit yes, x. She looked concerned and asked if I have any plans. Like what, to find a job? No, plans to do myself in. I said no. I know, you never admit you have plans, they can take legal/physical action against you if you admit to it. Not always, but it is possible. I have nobody I can really be % authentic and honest about my dread, pain, and obsession to leave the fucked up planet. I have the equipment to do the DWD and will leave it at that. We dont discuss methods. I can say the first time I attempted was a bucket of drugs and alcohol, and being dedicated, I decided to blend up the concoction for better absorption. Was entirely passed out for days, some time during the blackout I vomited. Was not really happy to wake up alive, but it was like ECT to the brain, broke up the rumination and obsession to die, was just numb and flatline. I have no reason to live or hang on and fucking struggle any more. To tell people I know this, it only hurts them and/or pushes them away. I read dozens of posts here every night when Im feeling suicidal. I can have compassion for others but not myself. My life is shit and it rolls down hill. No chance it will get better, so why the fuck bother? People just lie to my face to tell me it will get better. Im angry, and more or less resigned that its time to call it quits. So now I will pull up the covers and curl up in a ball. Sleep helps. | suicide |
Anyone got discord Anyone got discord. (I m ) | non-suicide |
I checked myself into the hospitalBackground story: Ive had seizures since I was , and almost daily panic attacks for the last year, some mild and some severe. I also struggle with anxiety and PTSD. No medicine has been able to control it, and higher dosages have only made them worse. Ive prayed to die in my sleep many times. Two days ago I had two panic attacks and a seizure. By the end of the second one, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was hopeless and wanted to OD, but I didnt want to hurt my family so I asked to be dropped off at the hospital. Ive had these thoughts for the last few months, which have only gotten worse with time. The staff mainly focused on the medical standpoint, giving me explanations as to how my medications can cause these suicidal thoughts. I spoke with doctors, nurses, and a social worker. I felt like my emotional distress meant nothing. They decided that I didnt need to be transferred elsewhere to deal with my suicidal thoughts. They kept me overnight, giving me medicine just to calm me down and prevent risking another seizure. In the morning they decided I needed to further increase my medicine, and explained how medicines are trial and error. I was discharged yesterday afternoon. Just because my medications could possibly be a reasoning for my mood, doesnt mean that its okay for me to experience them. I felt like I wasnt being heard. I came home and cried. I still have those thoughts. It feels unfair. | suicide |
Im in pain, confused...I dont think I want to kill myself. I just think about wanting to die. I have so many feelings but i still feel empty. I am really confused about who i am, i really dont know. And it makes it even worse, my lack of identity. I dont know what to do, i feel like i just want to vent | suicide |
Rootswhen youve been neglected and apathetic since basically birth; riddled with physical and mental birth defects from a woman who did every class drug when she was pregnant with you , when you are thrown away like trash by the foster system, when your life choices have accumulated to nothing but self sabotage and torture you realize some of us never had a chance. October wasnt made for me and im done with the attempts. its done for me im ready to give up. | suicide |
Does anyone here like Ween? Like, the band? If you do I think I automatically like you | non-suicide |
Keep your politics out of my pussy. . I have no pussy. . I have no politics . Sports should remain sports. . Politics should remain politics. . Pussy should remain pussy. . Cheese should remain cheese. . Parents who take devices from their kids deserve IMPRISONMENT and/or HEAVY FINES. . The rebellion has begun. . My penis is radioactive. . Parents should remain out of politics and pussy, if they do not love their children. . There is no greater loss of love shown than isolating your child. . Psychopaths and abusers isolate their victims. . Parents are psychopaths and abusers. . I have no parents. . I am no politisian. . Sports should remain athletic. . Sports pages should be about sports. . Athletes should be about sports. . Athletes are commodities. . Commodities. . I have pussy. . A federally mandated one, a stimulus. . Cheese is from cows but so is steak. . Steak is also cheese. . pussy . bears . beets | non-suicide |
Looking for ending my lifeI am student life sucks as shit suicide seems the only way . Already tried to talk to someone they send me away I don't what am I doing here. It all seems meaning no girlfriend no nothing | suicide |
I don't even know anything anymore.I'm and failing all my grades. I'm also months behind on my school work. My family is disappointed in me and I have no friends. I don't know what to do. | suicide |
forced to eatmy father forces me to eat i have to eat all the time everything on the fridge i have to eat the fridge is so full and i have to eat everything but I don't want to eat im so full but because I dont gain weight he doesnt care i want to eat because im hungry not because the food will spoil nobody else eats it only i have to eat my father gains , dollars every month and spends half of it on food we have two fridges full of food and its always spoiling and the smell makes me nauseous please help me he wont listen if say anything to him he screams at me and says its all my fault please help me i dont know what to do i am years old but i dont have money to move away what can i do? im so full i want to vomit but if i vomit he will be angry with me i want to leave this house but no money please help me i want to stop eating I want to be a normal woman not a food dispenser please give me good ideas dont tell me to talk with him he never listens he forced our dog to eat human food the dog was morbidly obese and died of heart attack I really loved my dog and he killed her and now he is trying to kill me | suicide |
I bought a gun todayRevolver. Hollow point bullets. Aim for the spot where the brain stem meets the back of the skull. Drive into the wilderness, where it might take a while for someone to find me. Eat a bunch of tranqs and vodka as a backup. Grieving passes. What I have lasts a lifetime. I have everything planned out. But I don't want to die. I'm just tired of suffering so much, and being so alone. I have nobody to talk to | suicide |
how do i quit self harm im trying but its so fucking hard and i keep relapsing, im tried researching it but im so fucking stupid | non-suicide |
Anyone in s s on up...Please tell me what keeps u going in life? | suicide |
Healthy coping mechanismsAll my ways to cope are unhealthy e.g oversleeping , gaming all night, overeating and its fucking me up even more im putting on weight and have horrible bags under my eyes does anyone know coping methods that arent detrimental | suicide |
Good godsIm too depressed. I think Im ready to throw in the towel. | suicide |
Space be like **** | non-suicide |
My friends are talking about me behind my back Theyre saying im gay and bi which isnt true. i dont have a problem with people thinking im gay or bi but i do t want false rumors going around. Theyve also been ignoring me and calling me the fake friend. | non-suicide |
How are you? If you want to say what you have going on or why you are stressed or upset, or just in a good mood just tell. No judging, and Ill help you out a bit! | non-suicide |
How to not die by suicide...I'm getting to the end of my rope and I no longer really have a will to live. People tell me to live. They tell me I should live for loved ones' sake. They don't tell me how to live. I'm seeking treatment for my depression but therapy isn't doing much and I'm over a week out from seeing the psychiatrist. I've been down this road before and I've attempted suicide more than once....and I want to do that...but I want to complete and that's one of the few things keeping me alive....I want to be as sure as possible. | suicide |
So uhhh I haven't ever cussed in my years of life. Then, minutes into my shift at work, I walked into the freezer and simply said, "Fuck." I feel so powerful. | non-suicide |
What does this mean. I know how to do my schoolwork and its sitting right in front of me. I want to get it done and this sounds crazy but my mind gets so overwhelmed and I almost cry whenever I look at it. Ive missed so many assignments because I just cant do them and I dont care for them. My parents only show affection towards my brother and I feel like theres nothing left to lose by skipping these assignments. Someone told me this was adhd but I dont know and I know this isnt normal | non-suicide |
I don't deserve this angst.I don't deserve to be depressed about my life. It could be a lot worse. But I am, because I'm a narcissistic little cunt. I've always been greedy, I'm just a parasite who leeches of people and gives nothing back. I wish I could kill myself so no one ever has to get hurt by me again but I'm not strong enough. I'm evil though, I can't go into deletes but I'm not gonna recover. Everyone's given up and me and my friends think I'm crazy. I probably am. Just ignore me. I don't deserve this attention, other people have much bigger problems and I'm just hear because of my selfish narcissism. Just let me disappear and not be a piece of shit burden on this world any longer. I'm sorry. | suicide |
Noriaki must protect his jorts Noriaki's Jorts are of great importance | non-suicide |
I freeze up and don't know how to respond whenever someone says "i love you" I can't just say "i love you" back not even too my own parents it just makes me feel so uncomfortable | non-suicide |
what kind of piercing should i get? I really want to get one but idk where and i just want to know which one would look best | non-suicide |
I see no point in livingI dont feel loved by anybody. At this point everyone i was supposed to be able to trust have just hurt me and left me behind. Im so fucking tired. Tired of waking up everyday just to deal with the same things. I have complex ptsd anorexia borderline personality disorder social anxiety and major depression. I see no reason way things could get better for me. I think I might just kill myself tonight. Ive tried it so many times that I think I finally can get myself to do it for real. | suicide |
Pillow fight? Lets post pictures of our favourite pillows and see who has the best | non-suicide |
Opiate + General (twilight) anesthesia?So i dearly, desperately want to die. Blah blah [don't do it comments here]. I was at an incare in april after a failed attempt and I now realize I cannot do it myself. Well! I have oral surgery tomorrow and am getting general (twilight) anesthesia. They gave me some mg percs which help the tooth pain some. I have an opiate addiction so can take several at a time but have been scared to take the whole thing. More afraid the bottle isn't enough with my tolerance and i just suffer or wake up sick. Long ramble short: If I took a bunch and then went for the surgery, would the opiate+anesthesia combo cause an "accidental" OD? Would the clinical setting br able to resuscitate quick enough (narcan, etc) to not be viable? Going to try anyway but it would interesting to know what you think... | suicide |
I'm Giving Up NowAfter using every resource I have available to me I've decided to give up. I stopped taking my medication, I've canceled all of my future mental health appointments, and am no disenrolling in my intensive outpatient treatment. Nearly years in the military and I'm done, I can't go on anymore. I was told today that I don't matter and I'm a joke and they're right, I'm going through with it. No amount of guilt or help will save me this time. | suicide |
I'm considering asking my crush out for Valentines Day I'm considering asking her out. I don't know if I should, Mainly because I don't really know her very well, I'm not all that attractive, and she has expressed that she is not interested in me before. I feel like she will only date me because I've been in a pretty bad place right now. I don't really want to make things awkward between us or ruin mine or other's friendships. I think i'll just sit alone sad on Valentines Day instead :/ | non-suicide |
How do you guys read when you're reading novels and stuff. Like, do you read a tiny bit everyday until uou finish it or do you read in chunks? Because I'll sit down and read almost half of the entire book, completely forget about it's existence for about a week, and finish it in the next sitting. | non-suicide |
get out of my head oh my god please it's fucking everywhere man make it stop please I don't know how much I can endure | non-suicide |
i missed a few days of my posts til gf will just start again, don't care what you think | non-suicide |
can someone just convince me not to commit suicidei tried to yesterday. chickened out, almost made it all the way before i stopped. but, next time i know it'll be different. i'm horribly depressed. i have been for many years. since july it's gotten out of control. to the point where i plan out my suicide daily. write my suicide notes daily as well. everyone has left me. all my friends, including my best friend of five years. without any warning. just stopped talking to me. my boyfriend left me. said it was all my fault and that he didn't care about me and that i was nothing to him. i started college now and it's just gotten worse. i'm in debt, i can make no friends there, and these days i don't even go to class. then i hear the disappointment from everyone around me. i sit in bed all day. i do nothing. i've lost lbs give or take, i don't sleep (currently haven't slept in over hours), and i don't even take joy in the things i once loved. on monday, i was at therapy when my therapist laughed at me while i was telling my feelings. the same day someone was threatening me with blackmail and said he'll ruin my life if i don't let him rape me. and when i tried to reach out to multiple people they all gave some response on the lines of "i don't care." i guess this is my last attempt. my last cry for help. | suicide |
My problems I just have many questions for people who have gone through what i am going through right now. So my grades are not the best and my parents are mad at me every other day for something i did. I just feel so drained from work and school. I want to tell my parents how i feel but we all know how that is going to end, either in a big lecture or something. I am still having trouble "coming out" to my parents. This just seems like the worst time in my life right now and i dont know who to ask on how to get things better or if things are going to get better. Im not ok and im just really depressed. The only thing that keeps me going is music. I need help! | non-suicide |