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What is wrong with some people? Last week I got mad at my brother so I stole all the soap/shampoo from the bathroom...He hasn't noticed yet. ExCUse mE SiR, ArE yOU AwARe Of a thINg cALleD hYGieNe?! | non-suicide |
Am lonely :') All my irl friends suck or are blatant homophobes, so like, if you have discord and are in my age range hmuuu I'm f, no nonces please and thank you. | non-suicide |
Imma feel so sad My term is gonna end on Thursday and imma miss my second block, it was my best and funniest class ;-; | non-suicide |
My mom died hours agoI thought id be ready for this some day but i realized thats impossible. Shes still in her room, she died in her sleep. She looks at peace which makes me glad. I kissed her goobye and i dont want to see her anymore because it hurts to look. My brothers and i are waiting for the ambulance to arrive but they are holding up since shit sucks here in Mexico. Nothing but silence. I dissapointed her beyond comprehension and she managed to love me and be so kind. I dont know what im going to do without her. I was already suicidal before she died and now its only going to get worse... If i had a reason to live then now i dont. At the moment im containing myself from crying because she didnt want anyone to cry when she passed and im going to hold up for her since its the only thing i can do right for her. Im just trying to think of how good a life she lived and how strong she was which is ironic considering im constantly down in the dumps. She was a phenomenal mother. I love you mom. Goodbye and rest easy. | suicide |
Feel so fucking awful, all I want is help and someone to take me seriously and I don't know what to do.I've been trying so hard to get better, I was going weekly to therapy and had a very good therapeutic relationship with my therapist. She understood and listened was funny called me out on my shit and we were doing really good work together. She told me two weeks ago she has breast cancer, and for at least the time being while she has surgery and treatment, our sessions can't go ahead. She had her supervisor make a recommendation for someone else for me to see but I haven't been able to give them a call. This is especially sore for me as my mother has stage melanoma. I also went to my doctor months ago, I told them I strongly suspect that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, I was referred to a specialist. It took two months for them to reject my referral, I don't know why, they told me they explained in a letter to my doctor, it will take weeks before I can see my doctor again according to the online services. I have booked the appointment. I can't believe that I have been rejected without an initial interview, without a phone call, without even doing a questionnaire or something. Why won't someone take me seriously? I want to die. I want help and I want to be understood. I want to understand why I am the way that I am and why I feel like I find everything so much more difficult than other people and why everything is so painful to me. I can't do this anymore especially when nobody is there to help me. I'm a fucking loser I can't hold down a job or a relationship, I'm living with my mother as a carer and I'm just a waster that smokes a lot and cries all the time I can't do it anymore. | suicide |
So my mom moved out without me a month ago, and here's what i did like the good son that i am. I called her at am to ask her how to run the dishwasher. It wasn't even to ask her how she's been and how's her new house or anything. No. I called her at fucking am about how to run a godamn dishwasher. I just feel incredibly bad. Call your relatives often, friends, i feel like shit right now. | non-suicide |
shoegaze????more like...... shoegayze hahahahahaha goteeeeem filler ajsjdjdksksjsjsjsksksksjsjsjsshdghshsjsjsjsjsjsj | non-suicide |
Today marks my weeks free from self harm Its a HUGE step for me and im kinda proud of myself ngl, i feel like i should celebrate! | non-suicide |
Not sure if I should end it or not...First post on new account; been a lurker for quite a while. I feel like my life has been going to shit and it isn't getting better. I've had depression that has become moderately worse since th grade (bullying and exclusion caused it mostly). I'm a freshman now in college and this first semester has gone from seeming like a fresh start to a hopeless dead end. My parents went through a really messy divorce that was in process through all my high school years. My dad had an affair with a much younger woman from Colombia and she is very verbally abusive and manipulative. I have also had many fights with my parents and switched homes a lot. She tore my family apart further and turned my dad against a lot of us. I have had terrible social anxiety since middle school. I have always had great grades and excelled in school despite the many pressures on me to have friends and do well in sports (I sucked at both). I spent the last and a half years before college dating an amazing girl who I was set on marrying. She left me right when college started and is seeing other people. She tore my heart out almost months ago and I don't know how I will ever get over her. I don't relate very well to people and feel like if I continue living I will die alone and unhappy. College has not been good to me; My roommate is amazing but all of his friends hate me (They all went to high school in Iowa City, while I lived in NW Iowa and we are all at U of Iowa now). I can't really afford to have severe depression right now because I'm in biomed engineering and my focus and motivation is just gone. I used to love learning. I also hate my body and obsessively lift weights and eat a lot because in high school I worked at a hardware store and was teased by my managers for being pounds (skinny jokes hurt too!) I am almost pounds now but I still feel inferior. I have tried killing myself multiple times since college started and sometimes I wish I had succeeded. I hardly have anyone to actually talk to and I feel so hopeless. People just say "get over it". I am on the fence to just drink a shit ton of antifreeze because I can't take it back without going to a hospital. Suicidal thoughts are the only thing that even calms me down anymore. I want to be happy but I just don't know how to get over everything. | suicide |
My mom is annoying So for context we recently got a new puppy and my dad is being trained for his job in another state. After days we finally got a name for the Puppy and before that I had been saying stuff like They're (Insert Action here) and she has been saying its she not they. We got into an argument I said "You can pronounce it in a Singular way." She ignored me and said she's not transgender, I kept trying to justify it but she'd interrupt me and come up with a bs excuse. My mom is honestly a Semi-Karen. I don't care how she thinks I should word my sentences, I've heard a crap ton of people say it as they rather than she or he. I'm homeschooled but its virtual not like she reads a book and quizzes me or shit. Either way she's unnecessarily unreasonable. She is overthinking on how something should be said and is yelling at me for not saying it in that way. She is annoying she pisses me off way too easily and wants people to stop what they're doing to do what she wants them to do. And at this point I want to cut ties with her when I'm old enough to move out. Imagine your parent or parents getting mad and yelling at you over a single word. That can be pronuced in a multiple of ways. | non-suicide |
I have no oneI have lost everything. I have an aunt who cares about me, thats about it. No friends. Im giving up at this point. What is the purpose of our lives? Ive done nothing good with myself and I dont think itll ever change. Im not even looking for a sign or some hope. Just plain up given up. | suicide |
How do you live when you feel like you want to die all the time?I go through several suicidal phases throughout the year, every year, and I know this one will pass...but I still dont truly know how the fuck to live when I feel like I want to die every day. Its just so much fucking effort and bullshit to get through life and sometimes I just want out. I dont want to deal with it anymore. I know Ill feel better again but I also know Ill feel just like this again and it makes me wonder why bother with any of it. | suicide |
That was the best shot of beer I ever had. this is a long read, if you don't have time, it's ok So there was this girl, she caught my eye first day of school and then we only talked for like or times that year. Yeah, I'm that shy. Reading all the posts here back then, about "Just being yourself and just go talk to her" and I thought about as pure bs and just decided to go on with my life. I play codm, and is kinda good at it, I post my battle royale victories to, you know, kinda show I'm not dead yet. Then lo and behold, she posts a victory of hers at codm. My heart fucking races, "WTH WHY IS SHE HERE" and shit like that. Then midnight, I took a shot of beer. Exhaled, "Fuck it, Imma ask her." I asked her. "Hey, what's your rank?" I really didn't expect her to just invite me to a game. A few, we didn't really talk, poor coordination, I got knocked down more often bc I was real nervous. Few days later, same thing. While scrolling through reddit, I saw this meme about manning up from being a virgin, and I took that personally; I decided to just go have a normal chat with her. AND SHIT, we were actually very similar. We got to that point where we'll talk about life up 'till am, and this feeling man. We talked about her insecurities, we talked about my childhood trauma, we talked about our hopes and dreams... It's like a dream. Like it's not real, but it is. I wanna make her my girlfriend. I guess that's that. Do you have any advice, guys? | non-suicide |
I really don't understand, why? It's not like it's possible anyways | non-suicide |
this is a fucking nightmare worldim not really at a serious risk of killing myself probably but i am so fucking done and i really just want to get this off my chest and for even one person to hear me. i grew up in a really shitty town and i had chronic pain, so i got into pills and alcohol so i dont remember most of th grade. i was in a relationship with someone who was mentally physically and sexually abusive to me. one day he held a knife to my throat. i finally left him, ignoring his death/suicide threats because i was so beaten down that i didnt care what happened to me anymore. he then broke into my house. i finally got a restraining order but his lawyer got it repealed. i was too afraid to go to the only highschool where i live because he also attended, so i left for boarding school. i was very lucky my parents could afford it and just so grateful for a safe place to live. from then on my life was pretty messy, especially compared to my private school friends and i struggled with my ptsd but i was still very happy and i had a great support system. my senior year i had been working so hard to get on to the senior advanced dance team and get a lead role in the senior play. i had never had an opportunity to participate in the arts like this since my town is so small. this was my dream. i had felt so shitty all the time and for once things were looking up. but then covid hit during our spring break and we were all forced to stay home and do online school for the rest of the year. my grades dropped and i lost everything. boarding school gave me everything that my home couldnt: opportunity, safety, love, community and support for my ADHD. i was also working with a physiotherapist and specialist doctors to heal my chronic pain. since being home, my illness has gotten even more terrible than it was before i left for school, and i have very limited access to healthcare. covid took everything from me. now i am working a bullshit job just to get by, constantly abusing drugs and alcohol again and there are no mental health facilities. i cant even get my drivers license to leave here because they stopped testing. im just trying to survive everyday but it feels fucking impossible. everything is so fucking complicated and this is the shittiest fucking town. i am back at square one but theres nowhere to go and i might just lose it and kill myself | suicide |
A wan mesell ae chavie at me an him can cradlie-baa i ae bed thegither Weel e be me chavie Filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Middle name needed I need a middle name for my child. His name is Alan (not yet decided) OConnor. Suggestions needed. | non-suicide |
I was gonna post smth but I forgot what it was. anyway how's ur day going? | non-suicide |
Please don't be so hard on yourselves.No matter what it is you've done you deserve forgiveness, compassion, and happiness. | suicide |
I dont know what to do and i want helpi want to kill myself so fucking badly, school and daily stress are overwhelming me, im so fuckjng ugly and i cant not disappointment my girlfriend for one day. Im afraid like my gfs gonna leave me and shes all i have left apart from my two cats. No one likes me really and i dont even think my gf does of all people, i swear she finds me annoying. And then people go oh i care about you dont kill yourself, like sure that makes me so not wanna die. I dont know what to do, i have no one to talk to and if i talk to my gf shell get upset with me. Help please? | suicide |
What do you do when you feel like you're going to lose it?When your chest begins to hurt, and you hear your heart thumping loudly in your ears and your mind begins to loiter upon dark thoughts, how do you cope? | suicide |
I keep talking shit to myself and I don't know how to stop...All throughout the day I talk crap about myself in my mind and I hate it. It's not like auditory hallucinations, just my mental voice telling me how much I just fucked something up, no matter how small or big. I'm so scared of messing stuff up because of my own minds dialog. I wish I knew how to stop criticizing myself so hard. | suicide |
I can't take it any longerI've been suicidal for months and therapy and medicine hasn't worked. Im starting a more intensive, partial hospitalization program on Monday, but every day is such agony, and I don't even think I can make it until then. I can't function. Nothing distracts me from my thoughts anymore. I keep trying to reach out to people but no one replies. Cutting isn't even helping me calm myself anymore. I have absolutely no hope and I have reached my end. | suicide |
Why is this generation so damn toxic Most people in our generations are so toxic. Im not talking about in video games its just kinda irritating when someone gets really mad and toxic whenever something they dont like happens. | non-suicide |
Failure to wife, familyI survived cancer and a bone marrow transplant years back. Haven't worked in forever. My wife has grown tired of all my issues and how I don't have my shit together. As have I. This is all I have. Without it, I don't know what to do. Yet with it, I'm not doing anything. Could just stop taking my post transplant meds and it would be a gradual death. But why wait? | suicide |
Hey SW. Help me come up with a plan so I don't kill myself when I turn .I've had this ongoing fantasy for a few years now that I should kill myself on or around my th birthday. It boils down to this: - I've had depression on and off since I was about and have felt like a piece of shit for most of my life. - I have extremely high expectations for myself that I'm never able to fulfill - career-wise, hobby-wise, interacting with people-wise, anything-wise. I spend most days feeling like I'm on the brink of catastrophic failure (even though my rational mind knows this isn't true). - I've never had a relationship last for more than a few weeks, and I'm still a virgin. This adds to my feelings of failure, especially considering once I pass the threshold with my virginity intact I'll be a living, breathing internet meme - the last fucking thing I want for my life. My th birthday is almost exactly months from now, and I recently started considering methods, which alarms me. I ABSOLUTELY do NOT want to end my life this way, but my brain is trying to convince me that this is a very logical and tidy solution to my problems it restores all the control in my life that I feel I lack. I already plan to attend a fan conference out of town during my birthday week, so I will be around other people and will not be sitting alone at home. But there will be alcohol and drugs available, and simply acknowledging my birthday might be too much. Please toss out any ideas you can think of. I appreciate it! | suicide |
I think about killing myself everyday since I got back from residential careI was hospitalized in the summer and then was forced into residential care at two different facilities. The first facility ended up being the worst experience of my life. It was like jail. The first night I had a seizure and hit my head. They made me go to the hospital and accused me of hitting my head on purpose. They locked me in a psych emergency room where you were not allowed to stand up or move and kept me there all night after injecting me with half old and Benadryl (which I wanted to sleep anyway). I kept waking up through the night to guards beating the shit out of the patients who were either high, on drugs, or homeless. They told me I was commited and never gave me any opportunity to tell my side of the story. The treatment center just lied and could do whatever they want. They misdiagnosed me with multiple illnesses I do not have and put me on drugs I did not need. They missed that I have autism which other psychiatrists have now diagnosed me with. They induced me having dystopia episodes and were unable to identify them. I was at that place for three months and then at another treatment center that was much better. The damage from being in the first center and being at the facilities in general is not undone. I have routine nightmares about being in jail do the psychiatric hospital. My entire life feels completely unreal like a dream like I cant believe the passage of time and I should still be involuntarily commited in a hospital in Florida. I lost every friendship or relationship with everyone Ive ever known from having zero contact with them for six months. One of my friends stopped talking to me over something I did related to the involuntary treatment. I have to go on Facebook to see people have progressed on with their lives. I have no job and Im not in school. I completed a PHP since getting back with zero progress made and the therapist there called my therapist to say she felt like I wasnt benefiting from being there. | suicide |
Will attempt suicide tomorrow(again)Well, i'm on a very shitty day again. Will attempt suicide by jumping in front of a train tomorrow. Since it's a way shot, i would say i have % chance of actually overcoming my survival instinct and jumping just in time to be shred to pieces.  Sig, i hope this world burns some day and everyone that isn't suicidal or depressed manage to get fine in the end. | suicide |
Little reason to continue livingI don't really know what else to say other than I can't really see much point in continuing on with my life. It's already basically reached it's high point so it's all downhill from here. I won't leave many people sad when I die because there are few people out that care about me, at my funeral there'll be a maximum of like people, and I can't imagine them staying sad at my death for very long. All the things I used to do for fun no longer entertain me and they certainly don't give me any motivation to go on. I don't have anything to look forward too to keep me going either, so why continue to live? | suicide |
The return of the king Bill wurtz just posted a new video and now I'm happy | non-suicide |
update: i am not getting tinder i know I cant even legally join and its a horrible idea to do so even once I do turn . that shit will probably just make me feel even more alone than I already do. i hate waiting so long for love tho:( | non-suicide |
I thought it was supposed to get betterBut it seems like it gets better for short amounts of time then goes right back to that same shitty feeling for longer amounts of time . Is it worth staying just for those small moments?? | suicide |
Omg I asked out my crush and... Now that I have your attention: Make sure youre not on data and drink water | non-suicide |
Im concernedThe other night I was sitting on the ledge of my porch (as I do). My porch is pretty high up, but wide enough to sit on so I like to go up there at night. Things were going normal until I got a sudden urge to jump. Not just an intrusive thought, this was an almost uncontrollable urge. I had to quite literally fight my body from pushing itself off. I was hit with an intense fear that I wouldnt be able to stop it and really struggled climbing off. It felt like I was almost taken over? Nothing like this has happened before. I didnt think Id ever actually commit. Ofcourse when Im feeling low I consider it but doesnt everyone? But- my mom has a few attempts and even the idea of her feeling *that* low really shakes me- so I couldnt do that to my family. But now, Im worried one of my dark moments will be it for me. I feel its important to mention that I dont think I have depression, I feel like a fraud every time that crossed my mind. Ive seen real depression with my mom, and whats going on with me is nothing near that severe. However Ive been having *really* depressed phases lately. Anyways Ive stayed away from my porch since then. I thought Id share this here since I dont know what to make of it. Thanks for reading < | suicide |
Love can be Confusing and Painful. But: Learning about it can change your Life forever! Im a Psychologist and I put the most important secrets to a fulfilling Love-Life in this Documentary: [ | non-suicide |
Does anyone know where I can ask questions about like, mental health? Ive been experiencing a very severe fear of being looked at lately (and I mean being watched by something like a supernatural being or a person I cant see.) and I really want to know what it could be (Im not trying to diagnose myself off Reddit btw.. just seeing if theres anything I can do) because nobody is able to help me anymore because I can never shake that feeling away. | non-suicide |
Good websites for help with maths? Is there a website that gives really detailed explanations on math questions like I if a x disappears half way through a question and I'm ment to know its been factoriesed I won't and I'll mess up the question. Any help? | non-suicide |
My dad just threw his remote controller on my balls It was an accident and i managed to make it look like he missed, but boy does it hurtttt . FillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFiller | non-suicide |
Idk if I can say this, but I hope I can for the lols. And to express how I feel! I feel asleep while masturbating last night, and dont have another chance to go until after school today. Thats like + hours! Also I havent fallen asleep while doing that in a long time! | non-suicide |
Ive told no one, until now.Im dizzy. Im broken. Im full of every negative emotion. Ive just gone cold turkey off my SNRI and I know thats unhelpful but I dont even care. Ive been suicidal for years. Had a solid attempt years ago. Landed in ICU for days then the psych ward for a week. Ive learned all of the coping mechanisms and they worked for a good long time, but havent at all for about a year now. Im too far gone. I know I could reach out to anyone and theyd try to help me, but there is nothing that will help. I am excited to be dead. I broke my brain when I abused prescription pain medication in my s. My brain chemicals will never recover. Ive been happy since then, but I cannot be any more. I want to die. I need to die. I am going to die, and I am excited to be done. My only regret is my kids....Im sad for them. | suicide |
It's just time to go.I'm a worthless piece of shit. I've reached the point where it's too late to start a relationship. Women obviously don't like men who lack sexual experience. I'm out. I can't hate myself anymore. There's no win left in me. I follow in the footsteps of my ancestors. I'm done. | suicide |
Jesus sounds like a nice guy. I'm not religious, but Jesus seems like a nice guy. I feel a bit bad for him, because he got betrayed. He looks friendly too, I want to be friends. | non-suicide |
Right NowI wish I had a rope or shot gun. These thoughts always come and go but they never leave me. Right now, my suicidal thoughts are at an all-time hight. I am so tired and my mind is slipping. I fear that their can be no treatment that would work. I feel my essence, my being, is destined for torture. No amount of kind words from a professional could turn my thinking unfortunately. I am sitting in my at : contemplating why I even woke up. What is the point of my existence aside from feeling pain? I have no worth. I am so fucking angry at this world because it expects people to be happy that they are living. Some people are just useless. | suicide |
Guys i have an important question How does one turn themselves into a sex doll? | non-suicide |
i hate this placeim and im already sick of it i feel so unloved by everyone i talk to so many people and everything feels so empty i feel like i try my best to show my love and get nothing back i know its selfish but im sad about it i just wanna be anywhere but here i dont wanna be in my room or my house or at school or with anyone at all i wanna be gone forever and maybe when i finally get to die ill wake up somewhere way way way better than here | suicide |
Wheres the off button for life?Honestly, if there was a button that would erase me from existence without anyone having any memories of me, I would have pressed it long ago. | suicide |
Make a controversial statement in the comments You can only reply with "Agree" or "Disagree". No arguing or discussions. | non-suicide |
I feel so fucking empty and alone my soul is in pain.Do you ever just wish people cared about you? Because I do. I wish I had at least one person who would constantly check up on me, show their care, and someone who wants be around me. Ive been pushed aside my whole life down the drainage. Maybe its due to my personality since I look emotionless/dead/sad or how I rarely crack a smile. I wish my parents were emotionally supportive. I secretly envy all the others who have parents who care for their child(ren). Thanks for listening to me vent. | suicide |
Just need a little support...Hi, so I'm new here. I looked very briefly at the rules and will do my best to follow them, but please let me know if I say something wrong. I have had suicidal ideation since I was , which is a decade now. It's just a side effect of the depression, so I'm used to it. I've learned a lot of coping skills and am really good at controlling it these days. I've actually been doing really well lately, and it hasn't exactly crossed my mind for a few months. But a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine had a brother who committed suicide. It was brutal on the whole family, and she and I haven't talked in a while so I offered condolences and kept my distance. Today, I heard about another aquaintence whose boyfriend committed this weekend. She and I haven't been close in a while either, so again, offer my condolences and stay at bay. Honestly though? I'm having a really hard time coping. I've always been quick to trigger when it comes to hearing about someone else who did it. I was surprised that I handled the first one so well as I did, but this one is making things difficult. I just feel...off. Like, a little dissociative, and more apathetic than usual. I'm afraid of what's going on underneath it all as the emotions bubble their way to the surface. I don't want to tell anyone I know because everyone is (understandbly) on high alert for copycats around here, and I know I fall high on the concern list for many of my loved ones. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere that won't judge me or worry about me, but that will understand what I mean when I say these things. I feel guilty, like I'm making these tragedies about me when they aren't even really mine, but I also know that it's perfectly valid with someone with my history to be struggling right now. I guess I just need some reassurance that I'm not alone here. | suicide |
Yeet seems to be Yote... But really I believe it should be Yort, only because it feels better to me. I understand this is an unpopular opinion, so feel free to have Yort me away. UwU | non-suicide |
"It takes time" and "it gets better".I'm sick and tired of being told the same things over and over and over again. People saying it gets better, just takes time. I've waited. I've waited long enough. I've waited over years for it to get better. I'm going to give up soon. I cant deal with this. I'm exhausted. This is tiresome, I am sick of it. I just want this to stop. I want this to stop already. I want to die. I want to feel better already. I just really want to feel better. But it isn't happening. I just want to give up already | suicide |
I "broke" the law i ordered promo item samples from Imprint with diff emails, when your only allowed , and from Any Promo when your only allowed one per month. But its on them for letting me lmaooo | non-suicide |
I've ruined a friendship don't know what to do. Ok so what happened was that a childhood friend of mine proposed to me, I said that we could talk and she got super happy. We talked for two months and she always sent me love quotes and stuff which made it so hard to tell her that even though she's amazing I don't like her that way. But one day I decided to tell her once and for all cause I felt as if I was wasting her time. When I told her she just stopped talking to me. She was a very close friend and I'm sad that such a long friendship is ending cause of this. Any advice on this would be appreciated. | non-suicide |
Interpret my dream? Idk I had a dream last night that I cannot stop thinking about, any advice would be appreciated. In my dream my FORMER crush and I were walking around an old barn together holding hands, and we were in love. I had super strong feelings for him in the dream, but in my real life I feel like I am over him. Thoughts??? | non-suicide |
Anyone knows where Cyanide Pills are usually sold?M I can't wait to grow older so that I can move out and die in peace. I am planning to die by cyanide pill, anyone knows where they are usually sold? | suicide |
Ramblings of a suicidal manI want to die. To fall asleep and never wake up. To fall headlong into the abyss of my dreams where there is no one for me to hurt and no one to hurt me. I want a fortune teller to drop her crystal ball and cry for the tragedy of a young death and turn to hold her children close before they turn to dust in her arms. I want to apologize for what I've done and be apologized to for what's been done to me. I want to feel the love of my parents just once. I want to stop the bleeding but all that I have is broken glass and memories of bandaids with smiling little stickers. In the end I can choose to die or not die but I'm tired of being hurt by my own mind and I'm tired of watching myself ruin my life and I'm tired of seeing myself drive my friends away and I'm tired of not being ready for death. Every morning it's a struggle to get out of bed and every afternoon it's a struggle to eat and every night it's a struggle to hurt myself and every second it's a struggle to stop breathing in and only breathe out. For years. It's not a long time but it's enough time. Every moment of those years has culminated into a grand total of nothing, with this spiteful mind of mine fighting tooth and nail with this selfless mind of mine and now both of them are just battered to hell and so fucking tired. Why push a boulder up a mountain when the chasm eating at my heels is calling me by name? Is this a suicide note? I might never know. | suicide |
Grave yardI have severe memory problems and I don't know why. For as long as I can remember (about week besides maybe - memories I can recall off hand) I've wanted to die. I'm sad. I don't have the effort to write this. I used to like writing. This place feels like a grave yard. I feel insane. I wish I could write poetry. Why do people do the things they do? Why did E kill himself? Why did Aunt ME die? Why does everything hurt so much. I want an angle to come and take my hand and lead me out of this world. Oh god please? Grandmas going mad and mom is doing her best but idk how good that is. I sorta hate myself sorta think I'm kinda cool. Idk | suicide |
i just want a gun to blow my brains outive been trying to kill myself for the past years and now im and still trying to. theres no way to fix anything im better off dead anyway. if anyone knows my found this post i want to tell you something, i hate everyone of you, and youre the reason why i tried to kill myself when i was | suicide |
I can't believe some people think that every single police officer is racist and awful That's just simply not the truth. Sure there definitely are some racist ones. There are bad apples everywhere. But to say that all of them are bad is just wrong. We always get fed the stories of the bad ones but we rarely get shown the good that they do. Not all of them are bad. | non-suicide |
I had the choice to die two weeks ago.It was in the morning and I had the suicide note, and I had the razor to my wrist. I could've done it. But what stopped me was two things: the thought of one of my family members finding me, and also the potential for things to get better. My family finding out the next day from someone other than me was excruciatingly painful. I'm still suicidal but not quite to the extent where I have a plan in place. I'm on a new medication now, fourth one I've tried. I still feel fucking depressed. I feel like I've had my share of happiness in life when I was younger and that it's all downhill from here. I was when this took place, now, it was my birthday last week. Yay me. | suicide |
I'm needing a buddy tonight again (rapid cycling)I've been rapid cycling (bipolar) and unfortunatly I crashed hard today. I am doing everything I can to not hurt myself. I'm crying my eyes out for no reason. I'm just hurting in every way possible. Deppressed over everything and nothing. | suicide |
I dont deserve anything and i ruin everyone's livesi hate myself so much. i havent self harmed in days and i want to keep that up but fuckk my mom took my phone away and she says i lie to her but whenever i tell the truth she hates me even more. im scared she knows im a lesbian because she read through my notes. fuck my life. why does a phone have so much power over me? am i really just that fucking weak? my best friend emailed me on my school email and i was bitchy towards her because my mom will use it as a way to say "look you ARE talking to her behind my back!!" i hate everything about myself. i want to die. i want to starve to death and my mom to find me and realize how terrible shes treated me. i hurt everyone around me. i got sent to a mental hospital in February. everyone in my family is normal so why cant i be like that? why did god choose me to be the broken one? why do i have to be the burden? i want to shoot myself. why me? why am i the disappointment? why am i garbage? its never going to get better. my mom will never let me live. she wont approve of who i like, she wont approve of what college i want to go to, she wont like anything i do. its a running joke that my sisters could do the same thing as me and mom would only yell at me, its not a fucking joke. she wants me dead. i hate my stupid fucking therapist. how did she even become one?? she just says "were here to control thoughts not emotions." fuck you. i cant control either and repeating that over and over wont help. i feel worse whenever i visit her. &#xB; i hate my life so much. but i think everyone thinks im being dramatic because im a stupid moody teenager. i never asked for depression. so why does everyone act like i chose to be so fucking broken? i dont want to do it anymore. im done with my stupid mom and my dad who essentially fucked off with his foriegn girlfriend and my stupid school and stupid fucking life. | suicide |
How old is the reddit snoo? Im asking for reasons... Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler | non-suicide |
I feel numb.I work hours a week to provide for my wife and son. Last night my wife blindsided me and said she wasn't happy and it's over. My whole life is my family and now it's gone. I have nothing, everything I worked for was for nothing, I have failed at life. I can't tell anyone what I'm going through because I use firearms in my profession and if anyone found out, my licensing would be revoked, weapons would be taken and my career over. Its getting harder and harder every day... | suicide |
Yeah sex is cool and all But have you ever actually had sex Didn't think so | non-suicide |
I want to die because I couldn't decorate the first ever Christmas tree in my life cause my cousin sister decided to do it instead of me.Growing up, christmas wasn't a big deal in our family. due to poverty we could never buy or decorate Christmas tree. As life went on, I grew up and lost interest in buying or 'decorating' any Christmas tree...coz my life is fucked up with mood disorder and severe depression. Now after two years of loosing my father, and few therapy sessions, I decided to try celebrating festival as it's time to celebrate the living and make my mom happy, according to my therapist advice. I probably should have reminded myself that all my wishes are going to left as wishes. And high expectations always end up as big disappointments. Turns out my cousin, whom I specifically informed that I'll decorate the tree, by mistake brought and 'decorated' it without mine/my mom involvement. She is sweet and actually meant good, but sadly, the only one joy I was looking for after a long fcking time, got robbed off. I felt extremely cheated. Now all I'm left with are very dark thoughts. My hand now looks like some butchered meat, and all the blood that came out isn't sufficient to sooth me anymore. nor my favourite chocolate icecream or pizza is comforting me. I wish I can just cut little more deeper enough to end this pathetic life for once and all. | suicide |
Straight PPL Get Offended/Jealous So Quickly Lmao I get u are missing out, but stop CRYING about it already. | non-suicide |
Breaking a promise.I made a promise to someone I cared about a while ago not to act on my suicidal thoughts. Now that theyre gone, I dont have much obligation to keep it. I have nothing else to live for. Im just tired of keeping my head up and waiting for the next time Ill be broken again. Im tired of this neverending cycle of depression, anger, perfectionism, and trauma. Im tired of not meeting my own expectations. Im so fucking tired. I just lost my last anchor. My familys a bunch of narcissistic dickwads. Im a loser with nowhere to go in life. I might as well end my fucking disastrous life here. | suicide |
my dog died coming home feels so empty with no one excited to greet me Im gonna leave social media for a while | non-suicide |
That moment when Youre so cold your balls are super close to your body and it feels like you only have one testicle Relatable right? | non-suicide |
I need help For history I'm supposed to be writing an eight line "rhyming poem" which is basically a diss track to support Athens and make fun of sparta | non-suicide |
i guess i play minecraft too much: my brother told me to get the ketchup for the fries and i couldnt find it immediately and my first thought was, /summon ketchup. god, i am dumb | non-suicide |
Bruh this day has been amazing I just got done playing Minecraft with my crush and we put our beds right next to each other | non-suicide |
Shes actually the one who broke me You know how when things end with a girl you dated, or even liked, all the shit you guys did kinda because tough to do again. Like listening to the songs she sent you or watching the same shows or movies or going to your regular places to hangout makes you kinda hurt cuz it brings everything back. Welp she officially broke me. I just dont feel anymore at all. I can listen to the same songs she sent me, I still watch the same shows, I go to what was our fast food place and just dont feel anything. She drained the emotion out of me and its honestly so much worse than just being in pain | non-suicide |
It's just got to end in suicideI'm really just going through the motions now. I don't have anything planned beyond what I'm doing right now. I haven't done anything worthwhile my entire life and that wouldn't likely change. I don't have anyone or anything to bring me solace. I know my life will end in suicide, it's just a question of when. Whenever I get the balls, I suppose | suicide |
DeathIs coming my way soon | suicide |
they dont know that i constantly need to be listening to music so i dont have to be alone with my thoughts # # # # # # # # # # # | non-suicide |
i think i literally tired myself out just from having anxiety all day very cool thanks human body for doing that for me at least i cant be anxious anymore because i am actually just too tired for it | non-suicide |
my entire life has been a liei was just talking to my mom about taking a dna test because i was curious about my racial background. i was born in russian and immigrated to the u.s when i was . i only know much from my moms side but none from my dads, so i was curious. she tends to get kind of defensive about those sort of things when i ask and i know why now :( she pulled me aside to talk to me in private. she started crying and told me that before she got pregnant with me, she took a trip to japan with some of her old classmates. she went to a karaoke bar, got really drunk and had an affair with a guy there. she came back home, and when she got pregnant with me she denied that she was for MONTHS even when she had a baby bump. i literally have no idea who my dad is, where he is, or if he even knows about me. does he even know i exist? my mom showed me a picture and god i really do look like him :( i dont really have his eyes or anything so it never even came to me that there was a possibility of me being biracial. he was about or (i couldnt really tell he was hunched over a little bit) he had pretty strong features. we have the exact same fucking head and nostril shape its scary. my mom showed me a picture and told me he was a pilot at an airport. my dad and older sister have always made remarks that i look nothing like anybody in my family. my sister is tall, blonde with blue eyes. im on the shorter side, and have dark eyes and black hair. ironically i used to always joke that my mom had an affair because i dont look like anybody in my family. knowing im a bastard child now makes me feel really fucking weird. i was so shocked that i couldnt even cry. the reality hasnt even hit me yet. i dont know what to do. i cant tell anybody. | suicide |
Looking for an online friend from long ago This is probably the biggest long shot ever, but nobody would happen to know "chimney" from Bin Weevils at all? We never communicated outside of the game but he was a really good dude, but he stopped playing one day and haven't spoken to him for about years. Could anyone help me out? Cheers | non-suicide |
Imagine being addicted to a person Im scared lol last time I was addicted to a person they were super toxic and now I have commitment issues and shit. I dont wanna make this new person feel bad by saying I need space bc I really like them but Im scared I wont wanna be attached as much as I want to lol. My ex fucked me up Im scared | non-suicide |
I did it guys! I'm years girlfriend free! Let's shoot for just because I can | non-suicide |
I hate babies they taste good but i gotta wait YEARS for them to fully grow?! | non-suicide |
Living feels emptyFor years now I've felt empty. I have no drive, no passion, no love, no will to do anything. My future is grim given my circumstances with not much to look foward to and my current home state is terrible on a good day. I don't feel a need or a want to keep living. When I'm not at work which is where I can barely muster up enough fake happiness to persevere through the day I'm either asleep, crying, or doing nothing. It feels as if I have no soul to fuel me. No fire to drive me. I don't want to live. I'm and haven't done anything stupid until this point because I thought the years of feeling this way were just something teens go through. I've been in love, held jobs, been on my own, finished school, etc. It feels like my life has been standard in terms of what a young adult should have been or is currently doing. On good weeks I eat a meal about two times if not less. I don't enjoy living. I feel completely void and empty. | suicide |
Why wont someone just fucking marry me already? I just want to drop out of school and be a cute little housewife for the rest of my life | non-suicide |
Things never change....So I have felt for a long time that no one cared for me as much as I do for them. I felt isolated and was ostracized by my academic peers (university), work colleagues and any group I am part of. Last year I was desperate for social interaction and asked a lot of people to catch up to chat. I asked in person, over IM and broadcast open invites to anyone who wanted to get together. A few people said they would but no one followed through. I did the thing I knew I had to do and committed suicide. I was unsuccessful and was left paralyzed in a wheelchair and blind in one eye. People were very supportive over the internet but its the same thing all over. People arrange times to meetup but never show or say they would love to chat but they are to busy in life currently. Its not one person that gets me down its the fact that its everybody. Now I am thinking about trying for a second time. | suicide |
ConflictedSo... I have been depressed for over years now, having my better times aswell as worse and feel like everything is falling apart. Under this long period i've start to poses a darker humor, less sympathy, and alot of self hate. While some people's first thought in the morning may be how tired they are, i can't get suicide thoughts out of my head and always keeps thinking about the easiest and less painful way to kill myself. These suicide thoughts have existed in me atleast about years and it hurts me. Later year on my depression (around late ) things started to clear up and i actually started to feel quite better. But now i've lost it all. Lost my hapiness, friends, comfortable envoirnment and my will to live. It's hard to points fingers to what makes me more sad. My social anxiety? my appearence? my personality traits? For people telling me i should search for help. I don't think that would do much. Although i think people working on preventing suicidial persons do a great job, it wouldn't feel genuine to me. People who's work is to care about others and say encouraging things just doesn't feel right to me. I'm not expecting much here. Just wanted to write it.. | suicide |
I cant handle life anymoreEvery morning I wake up feeling like shit. I do what I can to soothe myself, shower, eat exercise. I dont want to grow up and move on in life, its too fucking scary | suicide |
Preventing myself from committing suicideIt's getting increasingly difficult to prevent myself from committing suicide. I'm having trouble convincing my brain to hold on for a bit longer. I'm going to therapy and taking medication. I believe it has helped me, but obviously not enough to get me through. I haven't seen my therapist in a while (for personal reasons on both sides) and that may be what caused this episode, although it feels more like a permanent state than an episode but that's just my mind playing tricks on me, I hope. Any advice? Especially because I have duties regarding university I can't possibly do with this level of energy. I feel like I can barely move, let alone write a paper or do a presentation. Pretty sure my professors won't understand but I'm too scared to contact them either ways. | suicide |
yoooooo, rice krispies multi grain and regular rice krispies is the best # ###################################################################################### | non-suicide |
Hello, would enjoy a conversation, I'm teared up typing this.My best friend shot himself in . I still can't go a day without thinking about him. His parents were more "parental" than my own while he was alive. I'm so pathetic about the situation that I can't even hear about my friend or his family in casual conversation without it affecting my depressive/ self destructive tendencies. If I happen to run into his sister, mother, father, or even a mutual close friend, my sadness resurfaces and dominates my life for several days before I'm "well" again. The tight group of friends we all shared were strangely "suicidal." Somehow I feel I owe my life to him, yet I still have my moments of wanting to die. Edit: thanks for some of the insight, going to delete this but don't think I don't appreciate the comments. | suicide |
None of you can help anyways, what the fuck is the point of this sub?Nobody can do a fucking thing. My body is ruined forever. | suicide |
Im holding a memorial for flash. Feel free describe your memories of using flash and day some final words. | non-suicide |
OH MY FUCKING GOD MY CRUSH REFUSED TO BE MY GF BECAUSE I AM LEFT HANDEN AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE LEFT HANDED PEOPLE | non-suicide |
Tonight might be the nightI spiraled and posted earlier. I spiraled again and have a noose around my neck. I wrote my note and I'm debating about sending a goodbye text message. I need someone to come get my dog. I dont want ti die. But I think this is it. I thought I'd have more time | suicide |
I'm not sure of what I live for ( y/o male)I don't necessarily want to kill myself, although I have considered it at times, but I just feel as if there is nothing currently to live for. I'm really not sure about what else there is to say. I doubt it very much, but it could just be being a teenager :p | suicide |
Is NNN cancelled? Is it? I mean, I hear rumors but I am not sure... | non-suicide |
Antidepressant to kill yourselfSo i got About different types of antidepressants at Home, some in big quantities. Are they good to kill yourself or are Painkillers better ? | suicide |
people who think shit is "cool" or "hot" are so embarrassing like u do know that doesnt make u interesting right | non-suicide |
I just want to get this out there, hopefully I'll be ok CW: Suicide methodsCW: Suicide, suicide methods, don't read if you don't want to hear my explicit bad thoughts. &#xB; Tonight I just want to end it all. I'm constantly tired, and I'm sick of fighting for a future where I'll be depressed until the day I die from an accident, suicide, or sickness. I get virtually no joy out of life. I've been suicidal as long as I understood what death is. I've searched for help, had diagnoses, and been medicated. What I take now has helped sometimes, but I've been really struggling lately, and I don't think it's ever going to get better. Tonight I strongly considered \[and still might\] a few things: . downing a bottle of beta blockers, chasing it with a bottle of tequila, and smoking weed till I'm unconscious. . getting in my car, drive until im on a stretch of interstate with nobody else around, get my speed up as high as my car can take it, and whip my steering wheel until it loses control, throwing me out of the car . Jumping off of a parking garage, landing on my neck . Walking into the most dangerous part of my city until somebody murders me . The classic toaster in the bathtub . Drink the bottle of tequila until my blood is as thin as my will to live, and slicing every blood vessel I can find till I pass out . Suicide by cop? . Just suck it the fuck up and try to just keep going until the inevitable happens. I'm not looking for any help, I don't want to call a fucking hotline, I don't want to think about my loved ones, I don't want to think about my future. I just want to die now, or wait till it happens on my own. &#xB; | suicide |