text
stringlengths 1
3.14k
| label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|
I'm Giving UpI'm just done. I'm worthless, and I'll always be worthless. No matter how hard I try, there's just no getting around it. I spent the last and a half years alone and in and out of depression, and finally when I think things might start to go right, I just fuck everything up. I meet someone more important to me than my own life, and somehow I manage to make her think that I don't care about her at all. All I do is spend every waking moment worried about her and how she's doing, but I don't care about her. I'm just another worthless scum that's going to mistreat her in some way and make her feel worthless. I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that I ended up making you feel this way. Not that it matters anymore, but I truly loved you more than you'll ever know. I just wanted to make someone happy, to be there for them no matter how tough things got, but I failed. I can't even do something as simple as that. I don't deserve to be on this planet. I don't deserve anything but death. I need to just end it before I end up hurting someone else that comes along, not that there ever would be anyways. Who the hell would want to actually be with a loser like me? Anyways, peace out reddit. Post away about how I'm wrong and this isn't the answer. I'll sit back and laugh at each one of them while I'm slowly draining my body of blood. | suicide |
So my mom borrowed my phone today. And I forgot to clear history in safari (well you know what it is). I dont care about it but still its a little bit awkward. | non-suicide |
Would I look older if I cut more hair shorter or grew it longer I have thin straight blonde hair, Im but look about . Im really trying to look my age, do you reckon shorter or longer would make me look older? | non-suicide |
Death seems welcomingHonestly just wrote a note for me to leave behind. Sitting here crying uncontrollably. I don't see any reason to live, only reason I'm not gone yet is thinking how much I will hurt my family and my close friends. I'm over it now I can't go on, I hate life, I'm bored of life and genuinely do not want to live. I'm a disappointment to everyone and have terrible addiction habits. I guess I'm entering the final few days or weeks of my life. Guess I needed to share. | suicide |
Got a "Get out of jail" free card of sortsSome info about me. I am a year old boy with Aspergers. My childhood was pretty much ruined by my experience with elementary school. Basically, my elementary school had a daycare of sorts with two adults watching over us and on the first day of my st year, the teacher, I guess, told everyone that I have Aspergers and from that day onward I was mocked and left as that one retarded kiddo. Never got a friend, never got nothing. Didn't help that during that time, I was playing some games and the favorite one, TF if you are interested, the one on which I was finally respected and which restored my sanity, was banned by my parents due to media backlash of the Anders Brejvik incident. Fast forward to me being yo and having A LOT of faux passes behind me. I got a bit too conscious for my own good. I started thinking about afterlife, about how the world would be a better place without me, etc., but there was one thing keeping me from ending it instantly, my mother, who is a saint. She kept me going through and eventually i found a friend, got more charisma, was getting more attention and friends, life was getting better. But then my OG friend left for another school, I got waves of depression and sadness every single day. By the time this was happening, I was and I thought about stabbing myself in the heart with the kitchen knife. But I said no to myself and carried on. years later, the same waves resurfaced and this time they were stronger. I have developed a suicide plan executable at any moment. I would come to the school restrooms or any quiet place for that matter with my butterfly knife hidden inside my jacket and then stab myself in the heart and then proceed to bleed out. I have lost all reasons to even bother to protect my life and I might as well end it one day. Also, if that doesn't work I may be able to get a heart attack considering that I have chest pain every other day. | suicide |
A few hours ago I found out my ex had a crush on someone when we were dating I know it's all past but damn it hurts. How could she done something like that to me after all that happened... | non-suicide |
I actually asked out my crush There is no joke, I actually did and we are going for a walk today after school. | non-suicide |
I'm gonna share this here bc I don't have anywhere else This is a reminder for me too: September th: -Role Model "Coffee Break" ig live -Wallows new song September nd to th: -Melanie Martinez's new EP that's all thanks :D | non-suicide |
I subscribed to my friends youtube channel over alt accounts and were back to subs I guess were not aloud to have a lot of subs | non-suicide |
Shutting downIt feels like something is wrong with my body. I could probably stay on the floor or in bed until I starve and die. I've lost my appetite completely, and I can't taste anything anymore. My body feels extremely heavy, like I'm on a shit tonne of seroquel (I'm not) and it keeps flipping between not sleeping or not being able to stay awake. The only thing I have is metal, but I don't even deserve it. I should crawl out to the middle of fucking nowhere and starve and dehydrate and rot. I don't mean anything to anyone. Then again I guess that's a lie. People definitely hate me. Guess I'm just giving them what they want. | suicide |
What can I do?I just feel like there's no point in living. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do for help? I've tried therapy and self-help books, but it's been a year now and nothing has changed. I don't want to bore you with my life story but I feel like it's worth mentioning there's nothing obviously wrong with me. I feel like I've done all the things I'm 'supposed' to do, just that there isn't a place for me in this world. | suicide |
Muscle relaxers: Do they work?Google isnt exactly helpful. I've got some Metaxalone mg and not sure if it's even worth trying if I'll just get some kind of high from it. | suicide |
Absolute IntentHello, SuicideWatch. It's been quite awhile since my first ever post here detailing my intent to off myself. Obviously, I haven't done it; I opted instead to exhaust my options first and see if anyone could give me an ironclad reason not to do it. No one has so far, and I doubt anyone can or will. The many forms of therapies I've tried and the many therapists I've been to have not changed anything, nor have the medications I've been taking. I'm inclined to believe that this is because there is nothing actually wrong with me, my mind, or my thinking-they can't fix a problem that doesn't exist. In fact, the only sign that anything might actually be wrong with me is that I want to kill myself. I'm not going to outline my reasons for desiring to do so again; anybody interested in them can check my previous posts and find them or just ask me directly for a copy-pasted version. Bottom-line is this: I intend to end my life. I'm not here for help; I'm not really that upset about it, to be honest. It won't happen soon; I have a very long suicide note to compose and details to organize before I do it. At this point, procrastination is keeping me alive more than anything else. So why would I be posting here? The answer is this: I want feedback. I want to know, for absolutely certain, that I am doing this the right way and for the right reasons. If you talk to me only with the intent of discouraging me from doing it, I will see through you and you will be wasting time for both of us (and one of us will have a lot less of it than the other). I expect any contribution to be solely a logical critique or suggestion; if I encounter a logical critique that cannot be overcome, then that will be when I discard the plan entirely. I can't get feedback on this anywhere else, so here I am. And so, the countdown begins. | suicide |
I suckWhat ever i do i suck in it, name it! Study school job socializing anything comes to your mind, i just suck terribly. Wasted half of my age and playing the catch up with senior workers. | suicide |
okay its time to teach you guys how pregnancy tests work theres basically a camera on it and when you stick it inside you, it scans the parasite or the parasite comes out and draws the lines on the test hope this helped! | non-suicide |
Let me clear up some confusion about my last post I am not a zoophile. I do not think German Shepherds are erotic. It was a social experiment. | non-suicide |
Giving out complimentary compliments | Day If you dont comment to get an extra compliment your compliment today is, I love your outfit right now | non-suicide |
I'm feeling really depressed (not a throw away)I'm feeling really depressed. I'm . I work a minimum wage heavy labor job. I have a college degree that was a waste of time (a BA in philosophy that my academic adviser claimed would get me a job). I live with my parents who hate me and treat me like crap (sure I have food and water and shelter, but they yell at me all the time). I work very hard, and I try very hard to make people happy, but there is just no winning. I am currently returning to college, this time to community college to get trade school certifications. I'm tired, I feel unloved, and alienated. Everyone always says "it gets better"... they've been telling me that for years, and so far time has proved them all to be liars. I feel like going in to work tomorrow, gathering up my tools, and quitting my job. Then I kinda feel like going home and killing myself with a gun... Please help make my life better... If it doesn't get better soon, I will just end it. | suicide |
i got a concussion my friends and i were goofing off at school, running into each other and whatnot- typical stupid stuff. one of my bigger friends was aiming for another one of my friends but got knocked off course cuz were all idiots he came at me full force and accidentally bonked my head into the concrete gym wall, really hard this was on tuesday and ive been home since then, i cant think without my head pounding or getting nauseous atleast i got out of the pacer test \_()_/ | non-suicide |
Reasons To LiveHey I'm not asking for much, I just need some reasons to live. I don't have anything worth living for right now that I know, and I need some motivation. I don't want to sound all clingy and shit. I made a throwaway because I don't want my parents to see this. Please, can someone just list a few reasons why I should keep living right now? I really need it... thank you. | suicide |
Ill answer your curiosities about whatever So ya :)))))))))))): filllller bored filler filler filler filler filler follwer filler filler filler filler filler Filler | non-suicide |
Im officially now a femboy The i follow femboys dude followed me this is haram!!!! | non-suicide |
please kill me I fucking hate this existenceI fucking hate being alive I hate all these thoughts I hate how much of a fucking worthless and hopeless fuck up and disappointment to everybody I am I hate myself so fucking much please just fucking kill me | suicide |
oh my fucking god help me | non-suicide |
Only a matter of timeWhat a neglectful bitch i am. My kid is sick. My cat is sick. My dad is sick. And i dont care. I have not cared for them in months. I just keep wanting to kill myself. I have to do it soon because i am being found out. I am a fraud. No one has seen me since i got out of the psych ward for the second time. My hair is greasy. I dont eat or hrush my teeth and my clothes are falling off me. I look like a homeless person and i will be one soon. I have to take my life. I keep putting it off. Well its time. Either i sit here and do nothing like i have been for months or i die a slow and painful death loke i deserve. I cant take my son to a dr. I look like shit. I had a tooth fall out a couple of days ago. The cops were here yesterday for my schizo brother and i did nothing. I ignore everyone. Its only a matter of time. | suicide |
I thought being a teenager was gonna be more exiting. When I was like seven I thought Id have a bf/gf by now, amazing grades and a perfect life. But no. Here I am, at pm not having slept yet, endlessly scrolling on Reddit, tired, hungry and alone. I thought I was gonna have hot sex or some shit by now. I really thought my grades would be good too, but oh boy I was wrong. Its that time again, when I crave physical touch and when I want to be in a relationship. I want to share deep eye contact with someone, and then just get pushed up (or push someone) against the wall and just make out for hours. That would be so fucking nice. I just want someone to grab my waist, pull me close and kiss me until I can no longer speak. I want my lips to basically be numb. I want to hold someone as close as humanly possible, I want someone to crave my physical contact. I want to be wanted. Oh shits getting deep now, gonna stop before it escalates lol. Anyways, I just want someone to make out with very fucking hard. I want bruises, and I want to leave bruises. Oof. Im so painfully single. Soooo... any advice? hahahaha, oh- by the way; I already know none of you guys here know anything about relationships and stuff, so Im not expecting any good advice. Just writing to get some stuff off my chest, and it might be relatable. Idk. | non-suicide |
I( Monke) need more friends I need some more friends I'm too lonely here's my disc Chimp# | non-suicide |
my own mother told me we'd both be better off deadI told her I feel suicidal and she made it about herself as usual. | suicide |
Fucking hate lifeI've been depressed and been doing everything to try and get past it. Today I find out that I got a on my math mid term. And one of the home works I got less than a (I got a perfect score on every question but the one question out of I didn't do was worth over %). I love everything else about what I am doing (CS/SE) but I fucking hate integral calculus (I had to jump a year ahead or risk graduating a semester late). My friends treat me like shit and always attack me over different things and one of them tries to stir up a mob mentality kind of thing against me. And so I'm always having to fucking hide how their insults affect me. I had a shitty past and I really really like my girlfriend but I have so many insecurities because of past things with parents abandoning me and exs cheating on me that I don't know how to deal (I don't want to keep running to her about it I just don't know how to deal with it) I just started a job and I keep getting scheduled for ridiculous hours and so in the past month I have had only one afternoon of actually being able to relax and work on a side project. Money is fucking tight. I just don't really enjoy any of this. I get a day or two here and there that something good happens. But I don't think I can keep this up till I'm . I have considered suicide since I was . Life has sucked so much for me and I don't know if I have the power to make it not suck. | suicide |
I just want to die.everything is just so painful. I feel so alone - I keep everything to myself because no one wants to deal with me. The person I loved left me because of my fuck up. I miss him so much but its over and I just want this to stop. Please. | suicide |
Why is reddit showing wrinkle ads? HOW DOES IT KNOW? | non-suicide |
Im sorry, but theres no way I can win nowF. Ive wasted my life trying to get into medical school, and now that covids here my husband made me quit my (useless) clinical research job at a midsize Boston hospital. I have another clinical research job lined up, but I see the other people about to enter medical school, and I feel so salty. I failed myself. I feel like my opportunity to really make a difference passed me by because I wasted too much time fucking around with this application. I took MCAT three times. I racked up thousands of volunteer hours and got a masters in biology to shore up my transcript. If theyd asked me to submit a dead cat on a stick to complete my applications I would have traveled to medical schools with a dead cat. All this took years to complete. I spent thousands of dollars, not mention all this time and effort applying to different schools, and I didnt get a single interview. If i could go back in time I would have gotten a nursing degree, because Im clearly too stupid to be a doctor. My pre-med advisor doesnt even think I can get into PA school. She says I need to get a remedial masters degree for my reapplication to have any chance of success. Id rather stab myself in the heart than get a second, unnecessary Masters just to please these people who dont want me anyway. The only thing left for me to do is having kids, but I dont want to. if my purpose in life really is to watch my body go pear-shaped and my life melt into shit and chaos, I could have done that right out of high school. So what else is left? Shovel dirt in the garden? Make crappy paintings nobody likes? Get second to last place in another k road race? Waste another ,$ re-applying to med schools thatll never have me? Wait on a screaming baby? Watch the remaining million episodes of One Piece? Live my life for a husband who only listens to me when I agree w him? None of that is rewarding enough to stay here. The only thing that gets me through my day to day is alcohol, and I mean that sincerely. Im on two antidepressants and its just barely enough to stop me from murdering myself today. The booze is the reward and the balm, the only time I dont feel like a fatty and a failure. Im not gonna do anything but I had to say it. Lifes not worth living. Do better than I did kids. | suicide |
I know I asked before but for a video Im doing a bunch of punishments because Im borderline insane. Do you Have any suggestions? I just want a few more so I can structure a video around it. Anything you can think of thats not too fucked up for me I will gladly do. Shoot away reddit | non-suicide |
Can't See a Point in ContinuingI am turning twenty this year, and have been fighting depression since I was twelve. I don't see a point in continuing the struggle any longer. I've fought fought for a long time, developing good habits to make sure that I wouldn't become an inconvenience in spite of my lack of grades. However, I couldn't fake relationships like I could fake an interest in work. I don't feel close to anyone. I have tried talking to mental health professionals and friends alike, but those interactions were either ineffectual or drove people away. I feel as though any relationship I have cultivated has been characterized almost entirely by my attempts to fight past my depression. Honestly, I don't know what else to do. I've lost my resolve to get myself through life any longer. | suicide |
The sexism is bad on here I seriously just saw a post that said men are little sensitive bitches for saying they are opressed, and that they should punch them. This is literally opression | non-suicide |
might just start walking around with an uno reverse card in my mouth and whenever anybody insults me ill just spit it at them and run away | non-suicide |
I truly believe i am already deadjust waiting for the actual event to occur. i accepted death already. i hope i don't have to wait long. its been a lonely and tiresome journey. was fun while it lasted. | suicide |
I have the best joke ever that only real ones understand. So me and my girlfriend were driving down I and we saw a sign for a place called Boardwalk Burgers. You know, a nice wholesome burger joint, homeless people slapping patties on the foreman. I turned to my girlfriend, and with incredible wits unlike no other mortal, said Boardwalk Burgers? More like BORED burgers, because the burgers arent having any fun. | non-suicide |
I couldnt care if anything bad happened to meI couldn't care anymore if I were to get hit by a car, lose my job, kicked out of school or anything. I just want a reason to kill myself already but I don't have the balls to do it. No point in hanging around in the world when I purposely and actively hurt myself mentally and physically so I can be miserable. | suicide |
I just realised that if there was a Clone of Yoda who always copies the first Yoda's sentence in Yoda style the second one will speak grammatically correct sentences Normal person:- I will eat a Banana Yoda :- Eat a Banana I will Yoda :- I will eat a Banana | non-suicide |
I hate this shit of a life, i hate how i feel, who the fuck programmed me like this???. And the worst parts is, you when the protagonist in a movie/video is forced to watch someone they love die and not being able to do anything. Well i feel the exact opposite, i want to hug my loved ones and tell them everything, but thers a glass wall thats stopping me. It feels like a cage i built around me that i cant brake no matter what. | suicide |
Im departing this world in hours.Ive made the decision to leave in hours. Ive been through a countless amount of emotional torture and stress. Im in constant depression and Im suicidal. I have anxiety and I cant deal with life for one more day. Im a year old male, I dont know where Im going or what Im doing. I feel like this is the most humane thing. I wish all of you on here a recovery and happiness. Depression is a horrible thing and no one should have to suffer with it. I love all of you and have so much respect for all of you because we are all battling the same thing and we all know how hard it is for eachother. We are almost a family here. To all the people that continue to battle it, I respect all of you. For me, I have lost this battle. Thank you all, Much love, M. | suicide |
Haha pp I have found the new peak of desperation, I posted nudes on an alt in r/ratemycock recently (Im not gay I was just curious I swear) and I got dms like lovely cock and body, you are absolutely mouthwatering Lmaooo | non-suicide |
hahaha i want to end it tonight but i cannot because i am a pussylike honestly, i am such a lifeless piece of shit. the only people that would get sad for my death are my relatives and around - sensitive people at school.  honestly, there is always something wrong. it is not until i bitch about it in a attention grabbing manner like this that i can have it heard. honestly, everyday is so painful to get through if i do not numb my brain through the entertainment industry. i am incredibly lonely, mainly for the fact that i do not deserve the love of others. i am honestly a bad person, and it is very hard- almost impossible at this point- to change it. it is honestly like, when you select one of your sims to have the bad person characteristic, that is my life. but the problem is, i do not realize when i am being bad. my love life is painful. rejected, abandoned for most of the time. i feel like that itself is a reason why no one except my relatives should give a fuck about my death.  i really do not know at this point. therapy does not work. drugs do not work. the only time i can feel myself, like when i get in touch with these real feelings, is when i get drunk. oh well, guess whose grandpa died of alcoholism? i just want all of these to end, like i honestly wish i was never born. | suicide |
So i want to start a good conversation with my crush But I need tips to interact with my crush in general. I just want to keep the conversation going and i want it to be enjoyable for the both of us. Thanks in advance! | non-suicide |
Finishing a very short bucket listI have a very short bucket list if insignificant things to do, that will be finished this weekend/tomorrow. After that I'm hoping to say good bye. Dead or not no one will ever see me again | suicide |
Facts about me every day. Day . I am a teenager. Whoa, So shocking am i right? I bet you just exploded | non-suicide |
My son tried committing suicide last nightMy son tried to commit suicide last night. He took a box cutter and sliced deep four or five times on one arm and three or four times on the other. Then he laid down in a bathtub full of water but then got out and went to his bedroom where he passed out. He'd made an odd call to his sister that worried her, so before she called , she called me, and I rushed home from work as she called and dealt with them. When I got home, there was an ambulance and a fire engine and several police cars. My daughter saved his life. Now he's in the hospital and will be transferred to a psych unit for awhile to deal with the deep depression he was under and that he hid but it all came out last night as I sat by his hospital bed and thanked God that my son was alive. I lost my second daughter as an infant when she was just seven months old. I cannot take this again. I have no idea what to do now. I have to be strong for my kids but all I can do from now on is worry any time I don't know that he's being watched. I have to go into work now and tell my boss what happened and that I probably have to work from home once my son is released. When I got home from the hospital last night I had to clean up all the blood that was all over the house. Anything his blood touched I threw away. I scrubbed the bathroom and his bedroom. I threw away the boxcutter he used. I will never be able to forget the sight of his blood everywhere. | suicide |
Hey world, a questionI am curious. I think a lot of you people who read and try to help have been in the position of wanting to commit suicide before. What has someone said to help you? Most things people say, I've heard it all before, it means nothing...but the fact that someone cares does mean a bit. But have any words ever touched you? Can you share with me? Something to think about? I've thought about suicide for years of my young life. I don't know if it will ever completely go away, but even if the words that helped you were specific to your situation, maybe they'd give me something to think about when all I can think about is wanting to die. Edit: Okay, multiple questions...but basically the same. | suicide |
Im here if anybody has anything they need to talk about If anybody needs someone to talk to completely anonymously Im here for you and I will do everything that I can to help you from the internet Just pm me with your problems and Ill respond and do my best to either solve or help you solve them. IM NOT SAYING IM BETTER THAN A THERAPIST if things get too heavy I may recommend a therapist because Im only a high schooler and I really only study psychology. Not a college major yet | non-suicide |
My life is shitI once shared nudes with girl met on omegle. I was stupid enough to invite her to facebook and at first she commented my post alluding to nudes. When i asked her why she did that and begged to delete it on private she made a picture with my message and put it to my post again thinking its funny. Im now too scared to delete it because what if she would contact all my friends in revenge? Im also sociophobic year old and i quit school because of it. Im smoking pack of cigarettes a day and drinking as often as i can. I don't even go outside anymore. Can't get any decent job without school any any job with stamina like me. I tried to change it belive me. Now i live only because my mum is stupid enough to keep me there, but of course she won't forever and i don't want that too. I don't want to kill myself but what other choice i have from that? | suicide |
i think im going to die sooni hope i will. i have a feeling tonights the night. my boyfriend cheated on me, i got expelled, i have nothing anymore, i feel worthless. i want to be good enough, why am i not good enough? it doesnt matter anyway. i love you all, i hope all of you live through this. i believe in you. | suicide |
Bruh Gravity is perverted Its always trying to my pants off whaaa | non-suicide |
Idk but just trust me So apparently when a girl asks you to kiss her its better than you don't rush in for the kiss because there's a % chance (atleast in my case) she was just using you for a TikTok and didn't actually want you to kiss her It happened to a friend so just felt i should inform my fellow teenagers | non-suicide |
AM: time ask yourself will you actually go to sleep or will you continue to scroll aimlessly through Reddit and YouTube for no particular reason?!?! Lets find out!! O me, o my, hot diggity dang Im excited!! half assed sleep or an all nighter filled with soulless procrastination and existential dread! What tantalizingly mouth watering options! | non-suicide |
What's your favorite song? and why isn't it by Arctic Monkeys? | non-suicide |
I played online with my group of friends for the first time and I feel on top of the world Its been a rough week, but everyone felt better once we decided to play some Among Us later on. We legit played for over hours and although that may seem minuscule to some people, as someone who really struggles to maintain friendships and has been told to gain confidence, it feels like such an achievement! | non-suicide |
hr video call-new teens Me and my friend are trying to stay in a FaceTime with eachother for hours. Getting close to in a few hours, we hope to make it! | non-suicide |
just got dumped by my serious boyfriend of . years with no warning signshe was the only thing keeping me stable. he told me he loved me yesterday. there was no emotion and sympathy in his voice when he ended things. i haven't been this bad since before we were dating. i literally can't feel my limbs and i haven't stopped crying since it happened. for the first time in so long, i've been looking into ways to end my life. someone please tell me there's a way to make this pain subside. otherwise, i see no other way. help. | suicide |
I just need a hug at this pointI am so tired. I know people dont hate me, its my mind lying to me. I know my mind lies to me slog but I am so tired. I know I should just call someone up but honestly I am not really gonna kill my self anytime soon this week so I dont want to wake them up at am just because I felt useless and worthless and like they hate me but they somehow are stuck with me cause I have alcohol and other connections for them to get high and party. I cant even let myself call them my friends now cause honestly I know myself, I am not gonna let them get near me and even if they do I am gonna run away. I am so exhausted of being alone and feeling like every single person who sees me, hates me that I just cant do this alone. Honestly, I miss the days when I had the guts to suicide. I wish my first OD actually killed me instead of me puking tf out. I dont even know whats true anymore. Was my mom even abusive or was I just an over sensitive kid or it was just normal for all parents to be like that? But hey I keep remembering the first time I wanted to kill my self (or that I remember of). I was years old, it was my sisters birthday. All the cousins were there and my aunts and uncles. My sister used to always hit me (and she is years younger than me) and that day she tripped infront of everyone in the family because she and I were playing a game and running. I dont even know why my dad scolding me (for something I didnt do) made me want to die so badly. I remember the day my sister had to go to doctor because of a trap I set up for my mother, so she could stop hurting me and possibly be injured enough to stop making me want to kill myself. I dont even know why but I have always hated myself and wanted to kill myself. Its all I remember. The earliest memory of me being suicidal is when I was years old, I am almost now and I just hope I had done it correctly atleast once because now I cant attempt anymore. I am too tired for that. I cant do that again. So I am just forced to exist, I am addicted to cutting once again, I am addicted to smoking also. But hey atleast I reduced the drinking to numb everything out. | suicide |
I'm kinda looking forward to turning a little bit not for any reason in particular. I just think it would be neat to be considered an "adult" (even though I don't feel like one at all lol). but at the same time, I'm not looking forward to how the next few years are gonna go because they'll probably end up being shit and I'm pretty disappointed that I didn't die before turning like I wanted to. it could still happen but it's pretty unlikely at this point. | non-suicide |
When Will I Not Be Held BackThere's no way out of my situation. I am so sick and tired of feeling scared in my own home. I'm sick of all the fighting. My sister and her boyfriend are the only ones who treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated, and even then it's still not enough outside of the moment. I still have to come home to this shithole place full of shithole people. I hate it here. I come so close everyday to just going vertical. I know it would hurt like hell but I deserve it. I want them to come in and see it once I'm dead. I hope it fucking traumatizes them. I hope it keeps them up at night. The bastards. I wish it could be done without hurting my sister. That's the only reason I am staying. I am barely hanging on but I'm turning my knuckles white for her. I wish I didn't have to. | suicide |
I am not a female I am not a female for a reason Reason : I was born a male Reason : I am a male | non-suicide |
Why delay the inevitable?I rely on my grandma, but she is getting old, she threatened to kick me out when I came out as transgender, but let me stay in the end, but she actually does? I might live with my mother, but that would be difficult. I am not capable of working due to my mental issues. There is always a breakdown which would result in getting fired and even getting locked up. It would be better to end this misery while I still can. | suicide |
**If you know me in real life don't read this** scroll down for the post:              Any help on phrases I can use to compliment my crush? also: Today my crushed asked if I watch Drew Gooden. I said yes. Tonight I must binge. It's gonna be a long night... | non-suicide |
should i delete my acc i dont like this acc anymore and i kinda wanna do it cause hace un sol de puta madreee | non-suicide |
i think i really deserve to dietonight i got into an argument with my bf. im going on a trip out of the country this summer and his bpd acted up and so did his fear of abandonment. he has had a rough life, and hasnt had the opportunities or the luck ive had in life. i got into my dream college and ive been given so many opportunities while hes struggling to get his ged due to mental illness. ive had so much help to get to where i am. i havent really put in any work to get here, i just have money and was surrounded by people who wanted me to get into the best college with the most opportunities. even the jobs ive had i havent gotten myself, just through my parents connections. he pretty much told me i didnt deserve this opportunity this summer. i dont need to be told my boyfriends a shit boyfriend, when hes up in the morning he wont remember anything that happened and then feel really guilty about everything that did happen, etc. he said i make his life an inescapable hell because im off at college in another state. hes probably going to leave me after this weekend. he visits this weekend and so we are seeing what we should do about our relationship after the weekend. everything i am has ruined my relationship, i just trigger his bpd all the time when hes working so hard for himself. ive made life so difficult for all my past exes too. i make things hard for my parents and spend all their money. nothing i am is real. i dont think im deserving of living. i think itd really be better if i was gone. itd really be better for everyone around me and i believe thats looking at it purely objectively. i want to believe im needed and wanted but i dont really think thats true. i want to believe im deserving of my goals and needs and wants but i dont think thats really true either. i think i need to die | suicide |
I am once again asking you all for advice.. Uff da, I think I'm in love | non-suicide |
You just felt the need to yawn And now you've lost the game, are manually blinking and breathing, can see your own nose, and felt the need to yawn again. | non-suicide |
Just saw a real cutie today. Then I realised I was looking in a mirror | non-suicide |
bruhTW// Drugs last night b i went to sleep i was feeling extremely self hful, insecure, and felt like i needed to be punished and pay for being such a piece of shit. i was prescribed clodiline and they come in . mg tabs. bc of my age i was only supposed to take half of that .mg, but i was feeling extra depressed last night so i took .mg. which was like triple the amount i was supposed to take, (but not enough to od or even kill myself). i didnt care and went to sleep. then about hours later i wake up & leave my room bc it was extremelyy hot & go to the living room. after being on the couch for a lil bit i felt a cut on my thigh being irritated, so i get up and go to the bathroom and clean it. but then after i clean it i feel extremely light headed and dizzy. now, i didnt want to fall on the fricking tile floor or toilet in the bathroom, so i walked to my living room & started feeling moree light headed and dizzy and then I just fucking fall and land on my living room table. thankfully my dad was sleeping on the couch and helped me get up. but i was so fucking light headed i could hear immense ringing in my ears and kinda had trouble talking. anyways its been like hours since that happened and i still feel light headed when i get up and its not as bad. tl:dr i felt like i needed to pay/suffer for being such a worthless piece of shit so i took triple the medication i was prescribed & ended up super dizzy, lightheaded, & my ears were ringing immensely. | suicide |
I want to commit suicideI dont have many friends and no family. Im very tired. I feel as though my issues will never be resolved and I will continue to be in pain. I just want to feel content, I dont even need to be happy. I believe I will commit suicide in the next few weeks, after I say my goodbyes and get my ducks in a row. I am just tired and want to go to sleep forever. | suicide |
GUYS I NEED YOUR HELP MY FRIEND DOSENT KNOW WHO BOB ROSS IS WHAT DO I DO? | non-suicide |
Im making an animated collab Its a re-animation of the Leap of Faith scene from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I dont want to risk getting banned, so I wont post the discord link here. PM me if youd like to join and Ill send the invite link. | non-suicide |
What's with all the hate against TERFs? I love them! It's like grass but without any of the effort! | non-suicide |
Could it be that trump is lying? I'm starting to believe that trump only said that he has Corona to get attention. I mean if you think about it someone like trump would got to far lengths to get attention and it would be an excellent move to make people feel sorry for you and realect you. This is just my theory. | non-suicide |
i found out something I just found out there's a reddit award called ternion all-powerful which is k reddit coins which is $ irl wth | non-suicide |
I stabbed him times in the chest Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
all i can think about is how can i get out of what's going on.i don't have anything to look forward to. nothing to get excited about. when ever i've got something to do, like lunch with coworkers or something... all i can think about is how to get out of doing anything. i just want to not exist anymore | suicide |
Why does it hurt more when others say the same things about you that you say in your head?I mean, the things I say about myself in my head are true, it always hurts to be called that kind of stuff from myself, but it hurts x more when someone else says it, why? | suicide |
sorry..i posted positivity a while ago. but my depression struck again. im tired of waking up only to pop a pill to feel better. im tired of walking into class and having people call me a try-hard. im tired of losing friends. i want to be like everyone else. happy. smart. funny. beautiful. worth it. ive made a plan. april th, the day after i meet my favorite band (the only thing im living for), ill end it. i wont have to deal with the world. third times the charm. you can try to talk me out of it if you want but you most likely wont get through. i miss him. i miss THEM. i hope you guys have a great week. -chxrio | suicide |
What took you the fear of dying?I had fear the whole time while i attempted suicide but after i got drunk and took all the pills.. the fear was gone. I think i felt absolutly nothing. I just smelled the air it was raining that day. Now that smell stucked with me. But now when im thinking about my attempt i feel respect for myself that i was brave enough to even do this.. | suicide |
Top tv shows. Can you guess number ? . The sopranos . The sopranos . The sopranos . ????????????? | non-suicide |
Would you like a place that has no rules, where you can post ANYTHING? Look no further! Join r/ShitpostRepublic and start posting anything ***YOU*** want **TODAY**! | non-suicide |
I fucking hate being sober and the only time I don't want to kill myself is when I'm in a drugged out haze...Seriously, sobriety makes me wanna fucking blow my brains out, I'm an ugly piece of human garbage and my only conceivable route to happiness is always having weed in my body to run from the fact that I'm a loser. | suicide |
I just have nothing left in me to fight anything.I think I have to finally do it. I can't fight anymore. I'm literally just giving up I guess. I'm sorry to anyone left who cares but I've just been defeated. | suicide |
I have no value to societySociety is engineered to push people like me to the edges. I do not have value to people and that can never change. Therapy is useless, as it cannot change the reality of the world. I am very deeply bothered by the way the world conducts itself and what humans value. I will never be content with my place in this world. It's insane that it's considered a sign of mental illness that I don't want to live as an unattractive poor person in a world that views me as scum. We only pretend suicide isn't a good thing because valued people sometimes kill themselves (attractive, rich or talented people). The reality is humans low-key promote suicide constantly. If you're ugly, you have bad genetics. If you have bad genetics, you're making the human race worse just by existing. People want you to commit suicide because your death makes the human race stronger. That's why people mock ugly people so much. Making the ugly people kill themselves is the entire point. This applies for all traits that we have decided are socially acceptable to mock (bald, fat, small dicks etc). | suicide |
Im going to bed, give me your most nostalgic SpongeBob episode Ill start. Mine is Pizza Delivery | non-suicide |
KamustaAko Lang ba pero gusto ko ng mabura sa mundo pero di ko kayang mag pakamatay, ilang beses ko ng sinubukang mag bigti pero kahit gaano ako mag paka lulong sa alak di ko pa rin magawa. Duwag talaga ako kahit kelan tangina | suicide |
MERRY CHRIXSTMAS!!!!!!! Enjoy your gifts and the time with whatever family you allowed yo see! | non-suicide |
My family is probably the only reason why I havent kms yetI need to vent this somewhere, I cant seem to find any other communities where this might fit into, and I sure as hell aint gonna talk to my family about it Im currently an RA in university and honestly I just dont see the point anymore. I thought I would want to be a teacher maybe but Ive found the only thing that I like to do is play video games its the only thing that gives me true enjoyment. I hate everything else- I dont like academics, I feel as if I died most of my friends wouldnt care they feel fake as fuck to me, I havent had a single real relationship w a s/o my whole life, and I feel that ultimately everything wont matter anyway because Im gonna die alone anyway. Oh and because WW is about to start. The only reason I havent done anything drastic is because the only people that will miss me probably is my family. I have two moms, grandparents, and an aunt/two uncles that will miss me. I dont have any siblings. If I didnt have a supportive family, I almost certainly would be dead now. Every day gets harder and harder to keep pushing through. I dont know how much longer I can do this. If u read this, thanks, I just needed to post this somewhere and let my feelings out somehow | suicide |
I miss playing the saxophone... Last year was my first year in high-school. My father registered me in the school he works at, and thankfully he's beloved there. When he introduced me to the music teachers one of them offered me to teach me playing tge saxophone. My father and I thought it would be lovely, and it was. I took it super seriously and according to my teacher I was super quick at learning. I got the basics and everything in less than weeks. And I was able to play Alone-by Alan walker in about a month. Even the head teacher (a quite famous musician irl) was impressed and applauded. I didn't know that he was famous back then and was confused why my teacher was excited that he applauded. I wad gonna play in a concert that the minister was gonna attend and I was even gonna play solo. We practiced hard and weeks before the concert Covid became a thing, and the concert was canceled. Since then my life is empty. I wish I'll be able to play the saxophone with my teacher again and maybe there would be another concert before I go to college. PS: Nope, I can't afford buying one, at least not in the time being. | non-suicide |
When is it ok to...Ive been/had/suffered, what ever ,from depression for lik years... i'm done... thing dont get better, they get worse...there is no silver lining... im done ,cut my wrist and it wont even bleed enough... ffs...cant even do that right... | suicide |
Least painful way to kill your self?Just tryna do it fucking quick. Maybe tonight even if I can | suicide |
and nothing lefti have been a very depressed person for the longest time. i have drank so much over the last few years that i cant remember things. i dont remember people who were once in my life. i quit my good job of years because i have learned to despise it because of the people in my department and how much money i was fucked out of and status. i have been a bitch my entire life in corporate america and i hate it so much. i cannot stop drinking and i smoke ganja now on a daily basis for one year and a half. i have zero income and i have not heard from one friend all week. i feel i am nothing but a dread on my parents. my entire life has consisted of a black cloud that floats over my head and i don't know what i did to deserve this. i have always tried to be a good person. i am not prepared to kill myself even though i had thought i may this weekend. i dont know what is keeping me from doing it. i have lost much feeling in my body from abusing it as bad as I have. its not the pain that fears me and I have excepted my death by ever beer that i drink. i dont know what to do reddit anymore....no one else to talk to about this....tried talking with my folks and they know that I am serious but told me that they don't want anymore of these episodes. I don't have any medical condition. I just want to be happy....how do i find this happieness? thanks for listening. j from ohio | suicide |
I think it would be funny if I just never came out Its not like who Im sexually attracted to is anyones business anyway. And plus, I never did say I was straight. Ill just suddenly get a girlfriend and confuse people | non-suicide |
TRAPPED!!I am trapped in this doomed reality in this shithole country and there's nothing I want more than to buy the ticket, take the ride. But I can't. I currently work somewhere where I'm literally keeping six people alive, as well as my wife, who has her own struggles with suicidal ideation. She is more important than any of you meatpuppets, but without me she crashes and starts self-destructing. So I am required to keep myself breathing and standing so that the world doesn't lose six struggling individuals who don't know any better and one amazing person who has won the rest of the planet a considerable amount of goodwill just by existing. The hopelessness hurts so much... The last time I felt like this, I put a gun in my mouth. If I'd had the fucking balls then, I wouldn't have had to see what horrors you monsters are capable of... But then I would not have met my wife. And, ignorant, we both would have embraced the black without ever knowing each other. Either I need to fix myself (break myself) or I need someone to be more of a man than me, and just give me a push. No hard feelings... Just make the hurting stop. | suicide |
TitleLet me start by saying that I'm probably not going to kill myself. But I do want to. I've been thinking about doing it for a few weeks now, really don't know who to come to besides you extremely nice folk. The only person I'm comfortable to open up to, completely, is my girlfriend, who I love more than anything else in the world. She is the main reason I doubt I'll end up doing it. Her brother attempted ages ago and she's still extremely emotional about the topic, sometimes breaks out into tears over the thought. She loves her brother more than me, but I imagine if I actually did succeed, it would be something like that and I don't want to do that kind of damage to her. The reason I want to do it, I'm a horrible person. I don't blame my girlfriend for wanting some space (we're sort of broken up at the moment but she claims to still love me). Honestly, take my word for it. I'm selfish, self centered and a bit of a cunt. I say, with complete sincerity, that on the whole the world would be better without me. I really mean it, it would, trust me. There are other reasons I don't feel comfortable going into. So near daily thoughts about killing myself with a quick thought afterwards similar to "Yeah, that'd be nice, but it aint gonna happen". Should I really 'get help' like those depression quizzes tell me? If so, that's what I'm doing here. I can't go to my GF, she's under a lot of stress lately without this on top of things. A humble thank you to all of you guys, I used to come by here a lot to lurk when I was younger. | suicide |
Dude interracial couples make me horny Man for some reason a white girl with a black dude or Asian makes me really really horny I'm an authright | non-suicide |
a labor of love | non-suicide |