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3,615 | How to Be Comfortable Urinating in Front of People | 1. Making Peeing in Front of Others More Comfortable
1-1. Create a buffer between yourself and others.
If you’re uncomfortable peeing in public one easy way to at least trick yourself into believing you’re alone is to keep an empty stall or urinal between yourself and any other bathroom users.
If you’re uncomfortable peeing in front of your partner, this may simply mean that you close the door while you're in the bathroom, or wait until your partner is in another part of your home.
1-2. Listen to your iPod.
Sometimes the thing that bothers people most is the sound of peeing. But if you aren’t able to hear your own peeing, you might not be so embarrassed. When in a public washroom, put your headphones on and listen to some music. Turn it up loud enough so you can’t hear anything else going on in the washroom.
Consider putting a radio or Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom at home. Make it a habit of turning it on whenever you go into the bathroom. The music will help distract you from the sound of your peeing and possibly prevent your partner from hearing it.
1-3. Stop talking.
When some people walk into a public washroom they sometimes continue to have conversations. This tends to continue more often when men or boys pee at urinals. If it helps, remember that peeing is totally natural, and urinals are very efficient. Or if you’d prefer to do your business in private, use a stall instead of a urinal.
The opposite might be possible if you’re at home or at a urinal with your father/son/brother/etc. Continuing your conversation while you go to the bathroom might make the whole process seem more comfortable and ‘normal’.
1-4. Wait until you’re alone.
If you’re at work or a restaurant and can wait to go to the washroom, watch the bathroom door until you’re certain no one is in there and then go to the washroom. Even if it’s a public washroom you might feel more comfortable if no one else is in there. If necessary, walk out of the washroom and come back later if it’s occupied.
If you don’t want to wait and come back later, take your time adjusting your clothes or make-up in the mirror, or washing your hands, until the washroom is empty.
1-5. Plan ahead.
Many large event locations (e.g. arenas, stadiums, conference centres, malls, etc.) have maps of their buildings online that include the location of the washrooms. And some cities even have maps of all public washrooms available in city buildings, parks, etc. Before going out, research where the public washrooms are so you can be proactive about using them rather than waiting for it to be an emergency.You can also keep track of the public washrooms you use and always go back to your favourites. Some washrooms that are easier to use are those that have partitions all the way to the floor, or are single person washrooms.
1-6. Flush the toilet.
While not the most environmentally-friendly option, if you’re nervous about the sound of your peeing in a public washroom, flush the toilet while you’re going. The sound of the flush will usually drown out the sound of the peeing.
Alternatively, wait until someone else has flushed a toilet or is running a tap to wash their hands.
2. Determining If You Have Paruresis
2-1. Determine if you have paruresis.
Individuals with paruresis tend to have shy personalities and are sensitive and fearful of being judged and criticized by others. Those with severe cases of paruresis may have one or more of the following symptoms:
Needing to have complete privacy when going to the bathroom.
Being fearful that other people may hear the sound of urine hitting the water in the toilet.
Being fearful that other people may be able to smell the urine.
Having negative thoughts while attempting to pee (e.g. I’m such a moron, I’m never going to be able to go pee here.).
Not being able to pee in public washrooms, washrooms at other people’s homes or washrooms at work.
Not being able to pee at home if someone else is visiting or waiting outside the bathroom.
Being anxious at the thought of having to go to the bathroom.
Not wanting to drink too much liquid for fear they’ll have to use the bathroom.
Avoiding travel and events outside the home in case they have to use the bathroom.
2-2. Know that paruresis is not a physical problem.
The inability to pee in front of other people or when other people are around, is not a physical problem. There is nothing wrong with your kidneys, bladder or urinary tract. Unfortunately paruresis is caused by anxiety which tenses the muscles of the body, including the ‘urinary sphincter’ which prevents urine from being able to exit the body.
The problem can enter a vicious circle as the fact that you are not able to pee then makes you more anxious, which makes it harder to pee, and so on.
It is possible that one specific event in your past caused the problem.
2-3. Make an appointment with your family doctor.
While paruresis is not a physical problem, you may have physical problems that are making it worse. In order to ensure you don’t have any of these other physical problems, it’s best to talk to your doctor and have those other problems investigated.An example of a physical problem that may make your paruresis is prostatitis, which can affect men.
2-4. Use medical-based solutions from your doctor.
While paruresis is not a physical problem, there are some medical options your doctor may suggest. Your doctor may prescribe anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants or tranquilizers to help eliminate or reduce the anxiety you feel when trying to pee when others are around.
Note that these drugs are not a cure for paruresis, so it is still helpful to obtain other types of help to eliminate the problem completely so you can eventually stop taking these medications.
In very severe cases your doctor may suggest self-catheterization. This is where a catheter (a very slender tube) is inserted into the urethra and into the bladder. Urine can then drain from the bladder without the need to relax the urinary sphincter.
3. Treating Your Paruresis
3-1. Become a member of the IPA.
The International Paruresis Association (IPA) is a non-profit organization (based in the United States) that provides support and raises public awareness about paruresis. They offer free membership to anyone who is affected by paruresis, which includes the ability to attend their support group and workshops.Check out the IPA website at http://paruresis.org.
3-2. Join a support group.
The IPA provides a list of support groups online at https://paruresis.org/support-groups/. Support groups are available in many countries around the world, and in multiple locations in Canada and the United States. Contact the support group leader for more information on meeting times and locations.
3-3. Seek therapy with a psychologist.
There are many ways to find a psychologist to help you with paruresis. The IPA’s website has a list of psychologists who specialize in the treatment of paruresis at http://paruresis.org/sbc-therapists/. You can also ask your family doctor for a referral or recommendation. Or you can search for a psychologist via your local medical listings or psychological association.
When seeking the assistance of a psychologist, make sure you ask if they have experience treating paruresis before you start therapy.
3-4. Work through cognitive behaviour therapy.
Cognitive behaviour therapy is therapy completed with a psychologist that helps you alter how you think and feel about urination and public washrooms.
3-5. Create other noises while going to the bathroom.
Because one of the anxieties associated with paruresis is the noise urine makes when it hits the toilet and/or water, one possible method to help overcome the anxiety is to create other sounds in the bathroom while you’re trying to pee. You can do this by turning on a faucet, flushing the toilet, listening to music, or whatever else might work for you.
4. Going Through Graduated Exposure Therapy
4-1. Enlist the help of a psychologist.
While you could probably carry out these instructions on your own, it is also helpful to have a psychologist help you through the process. They’ll be able to help you plan the therapy, pick a partner that can help you and discuss the outcomes of each try.
4-2. Create a list of bathrooms from easiest to hardest.
To start your therapy, you need to make a list of a variety of bathroom locations. These locations need to be everything from very easy to very hard locations for you to go pee. In addition to making the list, rank the locations from easiest to hardest.
4-3. Select a ‘pee partner’ to help you.
Because the main problem with paruresis is peeing in front of other people, you will need to enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend to help you overcome the problem.
4-4. Start with your home bathroom.
You most likely consider your home bathroom your easiest location to pee. Since you’re comfortable with this bathroom, the only thing to be added is another human being — your ‘pee partner.'
Start by going pee in your home bathroom with your pee partner somewhat nearby. Pee for only a few seconds and then stop.
Wait a few minutes and go back to the bathroom. This time have your pee partner move a little closer to you. Again, pee for a few seconds and then stop.
Continue this process with your pee partner moving closer and closer to you.
This process may take several sessions before you’re comfortable peeing in front of your pee partner.
4-5. Make noise while your pee.
Throughout the process of peeing in your own home with your pee partner, purposely make noise while you’re peeing. The types of noises you want to make are the types that embarrass you when you’re in a public bathroom. For example, if you don’t like to hear the sound of your pee hitting the side of the toilet or the water, purposely make these types of noises while you pee.By purposely making these noises you’ll start to get used to them and they’ll become less embarrassing. You’re essentially trying to desensitize yourself from these noises so you don’t think about them when you’re peeing.
4-6. Select the next bathroom location on your list.
Once you’re comfortable peeing at home with your pee partner and with making a lot of noise, it’s time to move to the next place on your list. The next bathroom on your list might be a quiet public washroom, or maybe the bathroom at a friend’s house.
Repeat the same process you used at home with your pee partner. Start by having them stand outside the door to the washroom and move gradually closer to where the toilet is.
Once you become comfortable with a specific location on your list, move to the next location and repeat the process.
Eventually you’ll reach the hardest location on your list and you’ll find you’re able to pee in a crowded, noisy public washroom.
You may need to have a practice session 3-4 times a week in order to make the process effective. You should see excellent improvement after 12 sessions if you are consistent.
4-7. Drink lots of water before each session.
In order to make each practice session more realistic, and to ensure you actually have to go to the bathroom, drink enough liquids so your bladder is full. Do this on purpose before each practice session with your pee partner.
5. Using the Breath-Holding Technique
5-1. Practice holding your breath at home.
The breath-holding technique temporarily increases the amount of carbon dioxide in your blood which is suppose to help with relaxation and reduce anxiety. Before using this technique while peeing, practice holding your breath.
Start by holding your breath for 10 seconds and seeing how you feel.
Increase the length you hold your breath by 5-10 seconds at a time. Always stop and assess how you’ve reacted to holding your breath. If you don’t feel well after holding your breath — stop — this technique may not be right for you.
Try holding your breath in different locations so you get use to the technique.
Once you can hold your breath for 45 seconds, try using the technique in a real bathroom situation.
5-2. Start somewhere you feel comfortable.
This comfortable bathroom might be at home or in an empty public bathroom.
Stand or sit in the bathroom as you want and breathe normally.
On one of your exhales, stop exhaling about 75% of the way through so you do not empty your lungs.
Hold your breath for 45 seconds. Hold your nose closed if you have to.
After 45 seconds you should be able to start peeing.
You may need to perform the exhale technique a second time if you stop peeing midstream.
5-3. Practice.
This technique only works if you continue to practice in various situations and locations. You may find yourself altering the technique slightly so that it works personally for you — for example, you might decide to start holding your breath as you walk into the bathroom.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Peeing in Front of Others More Comfortable\\n1-1. Create a buffer between yourself and others.\\nIf you’re uncomfortable peeing in public one easy way to at least trick yourself into believing you’re alone is to keep an empty stall or urinal between yourself and any other bathroom users.\\nIf you’re uncomfortable peeing in front of your partner, this may simply mean that you close the door while you're in the bathroom, or wait until your partner is in another part of your home.\\n1-2. Listen to your iPod.\\nSometimes the thing that bothers people most is the sound of peeing. But if you aren’t able to hear your own peeing, you might not be so embarrassed. When in a public washroom, put your headphones on and listen to some music. Turn it up loud enough so you can’t hear anything else going on in the washroom.\\nConsider putting a radio or Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom at home. Make it a habit of turning it on whenever you go into the bathroom. The music will help distract you from the sound of your peeing and possibly prevent your partner from hearing it.\\n1-3. Stop talking.\\nWhen some people walk into a public washroom they sometimes continue to have conversations. This tends to continue more often when men or boys pee at urinals. If it helps, remember that peeing is totally natural, and urinals are very efficient. Or if you’d prefer to do your business in private, use a stall instead of a urinal.\\nThe opposite might be possible if you’re at home or at a urinal with your father/son/brother/etc. Continuing your conversation while you go to the bathroom might make the whole process seem more comfortable and ‘normal’.\\n1-4. Wait until you’re alone.\\nIf you’re at work or a restaurant and can wait to go to the washroom, watch the bathroom door until you’re certain no one is in there and then go to the washroom. Even if it’s a public washroom you might feel more comfortable if no one else is in there. If necessary, walk out of the washroom and come back later if it’s occupied.\\nIf you don’t want to wait and come back later, take your time adjusting your clothes or make-up in the mirror, or washing your hands, until the washroom is empty.\\n1-5. Plan ahead.\\nMany large event locations (e.g. arenas, stadiums, conference centres, malls, etc.) have maps of their buildings online that include the location of the washrooms. And some cities even have maps of all public washrooms available in city buildings, parks, etc. Before going out, research where the public washrooms are so you can be proactive about using them rather than waiting for it to be an emergency.You can also keep track of the public washrooms you use and always go back to your favourites. Some washrooms that are easier to use are those that have partitions all the way to the floor, or are single person washrooms.\\n1-6. Flush the toilet.\\nWhile not the most environmentally-friendly option, if you’re nervous about the sound of your peeing in a public washroom, flush the toilet while you’re going. The sound of the flush will usually drown out the sound of the peeing.\\nAlternatively, wait until someone else has flushed a toilet or is running a tap to wash their hands.\\n2. Determining If You Have Paruresis\\n2-1. Determine if you have paruresis.\\nIndividuals with paruresis tend to have shy personalities and are sensitive and fearful of being judged and criticized by others. Those with severe cases of paruresis may have one or more of the following symptoms:\\nNeeding to have complete privacy when going to the bathroom.\\nBeing fearful that other people may hear the sound of urine hitting the water in the toilet.\\nBeing fearful that other people may be able to smell the urine.\\nHaving negative thoughts while attempting to pee (e.g. I’m such a moron, I’m never going to be able to go pee here.).\\nNot being able to pee in public washrooms, washrooms at other people’s homes or washrooms at work.\\nNot being able to pee at home if someone else is visiting or waiting outside the bathroom.\\nBeing anxious at the thought of having to go to the bathroom.\\nNot wanting to drink too much liquid for fear they’ll have to use the bathroom.\\nAvoiding travel and events outside the home in case they have to use the bathroom.\\n2-2. Know that paruresis is not a physical problem.\\nThe inability to pee in front of other people or when other people are around, is not a physical problem. There is nothing wrong with your kidneys, bladder or urinary tract. Unfortunately paruresis is caused by anxiety which tenses the muscles of the body, including the ‘urinary sphincter’ which prevents urine from being able to exit the body.\\nThe problem can enter a vicious circle as the fact that you are not able to pee then makes you more anxious, which makes it harder to pee, and so on.\\nIt is possible that one specific event in your past caused the problem.\\n2-3. Make an appointment with your family doctor.\\nWhile paruresis is not a physical problem, you may have physical problems that are making it worse. In order to ensure you don’t have any of these other physical problems, it’s best to talk to your doctor and have those other problems investigated.An example of a physical problem that may make your paruresis is prostatitis, which can affect men.\\n2-4. Use medical-based solutions from your doctor.\\nWhile paruresis is not a physical problem, there are some medical options your doctor may suggest. Your doctor may prescribe anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants or tranquilizers to help eliminate or reduce the anxiety you feel when trying to pee when others are around.\\nNote that these drugs are not a cure for paruresis, so it is still helpful to obtain other types of help to eliminate the problem completely so you can eventually stop taking these medications.\\nIn very severe cases your doctor may suggest self-catheterization. This is where a catheter (a very slender tube) is inserted into the urethra and into the bladder. Urine can then drain from the bladder without the need to relax the urinary sphincter.\\n3. Treating Your Paruresis\\n3-1. Become a member of the IPA.\\nThe International Paruresis Association (IPA) is a non-profit organization (based in the United States) that provides support and raises public awareness about paruresis. They offer free membership to anyone who is affected by paruresis, which includes the ability to attend their support group and workshops.Check out the IPA website at http://paruresis.org.\\n3-2. Join a support group.\\nThe IPA provides a list of support groups online at https://paruresis.org/support-groups/. Support groups are available in many countries around the world, and in multiple locations in Canada and the United States. Contact the support group leader for more information on meeting times and locations.\\n3-3. Seek therapy with a psychologist.\\nThere are many ways to find a psychologist to help you with paruresis. The IPA’s website has a list of psychologists who specialize in the treatment of paruresis at http://paruresis.org/sbc-therapists/. You can also ask your family doctor for a referral or recommendation. Or you can search for a psychologist via your local medical listings or psychological association.\\nWhen seeking the assistance of a psychologist, make sure you ask if they have experience treating paruresis before you start therapy.\\n3-4. Work through cognitive behaviour therapy.\\nCognitive behaviour therapy is therapy completed with a psychologist that helps you alter how you think and feel about urination and public washrooms.\\n3-5. Create other noises while going to the bathroom.\\nBecause one of the anxieties associated with paruresis is the noise urine makes when it hits the toilet and/or water, one possible method to help overcome the anxiety is to create other sounds in the bathroom while you’re trying to pee. You can do this by turning on a faucet, flushing the toilet, listening to music, or whatever else might work for you.\\n4. Going Through Graduated Exposure Therapy\\n4-1. Enlist the help of a psychologist.\\nWhile you could probably carry out these instructions on your own, it is also helpful to have a psychologist help you through the process. They’ll be able to help you plan the therapy, pick a partner that can help you and discuss the outcomes of each try.\\n4-2. Create a list of bathrooms from easiest to hardest.\\nTo start your therapy, you need to make a list of a variety of bathroom locations. These locations need to be everything from very easy to very hard locations for you to go pee. In addition to making the list, rank the locations from easiest to hardest.\\n4-3. Select a ‘pee partner’ to help you.\\nBecause the main problem with paruresis is peeing in front of other people, you will need to enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend to help you overcome the problem.\\n4-4. Start with your home bathroom.\\nYou most likely consider your home bathroom your easiest location to pee. Since you’re comfortable with this bathroom, the only thing to be added is another human being — your ‘pee partner.'\\nStart by going pee in your home bathroom with your pee partner somewhat nearby. Pee for only a few seconds and then stop.\\nWait a few minutes and go back to the bathroom. This time have your pee partner move a little closer to you. Again, pee for a few seconds and then stop.\\nContinue this process with your pee partner moving closer and closer to you.\\nThis process may take several sessions before you’re comfortable peeing in front of your pee partner.\\n4-5. Make noise while your pee.\\nThroughout the process of peeing in your own home with your pee partner, purposely make noise while you’re peeing. The types of noises you want to make are the types that embarrass you when you’re in a public bathroom. For example, if you don’t like to hear the sound of your pee hitting the side of the toilet or the water, purposely make these types of noises while you pee.By purposely making these noises you’ll start to get used to them and they’ll become less embarrassing. You’re essentially trying to desensitize yourself from these noises so you don’t think about them when you’re peeing.\\n4-6. Select the next bathroom location on your list.\\nOnce you’re comfortable peeing at home with your pee partner and with making a lot of noise, it’s time to move to the next place on your list. The next bathroom on your list might be a quiet public washroom, or maybe the bathroom at a friend’s house.\\nRepeat the same process you used at home with your pee partner. Start by having them stand outside the door to the washroom and move gradually closer to where the toilet is.\\nOnce you become comfortable with a specific location on your list, move to the next location and repeat the process.\\nEventually you’ll reach the hardest location on your list and you’ll find you’re able to pee in a crowded, noisy public washroom.\\nYou may need to have a practice session 3-4 times a week in order to make the process effective. You should see excellent improvement after 12 sessions if you are consistent.\\n4-7. Drink lots of water before each session.\\nIn order to make each practice session more realistic, and to ensure you actually have to go to the bathroom, drink enough liquids so your bladder is full. Do this on purpose before each practice session with your pee partner.\\n5. Using the Breath-Holding Technique\\n5-1. Practice holding your breath at home.\\nThe breath-holding technique temporarily increases the amount of carbon dioxide in your blood which is suppose to help with relaxation and reduce anxiety. Before using this technique while peeing, practice holding your breath.\\nStart by holding your breath for 10 seconds and seeing how you feel.\\nIncrease the length you hold your breath by 5-10 seconds at a time. Always stop and assess how you’ve reacted to holding your breath. If you don’t feel well after holding your breath — stop — this technique may not be right for you.\\nTry holding your breath in different locations so you get use to the technique.\\nOnce you can hold your breath for 45 seconds, try using the technique in a real bathroom situation.\\n5-2. Start somewhere you feel comfortable.\\nThis comfortable bathroom might be at home or in an empty public bathroom.\\nStand or sit in the bathroom as you want and breathe normally.\\nOn one of your exhales, stop exhaling about 75% of the way through so you do not empty your lungs.\\nHold your breath for 45 seconds. Hold your nose closed if you have to.\\nAfter 45 seconds you should be able to start peeing.\\nYou may need to perform the exhale technique a second time if you stop peeing midstream.\\n5-3. Practice.\\nThis technique only works if you continue to practice in various situations and locations. You may find yourself altering the technique slightly so that it works personally for you — for example, you might decide to start holding your breath as you walk into the bathroom.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Urinating in front of other people can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Individuals who have a lot of difficulty urinating when other people are around may have “shy bladder syndrome” or “paruresis.” Paruresis is considered a social phobia like the fear of public speaking. Individuals afflicted by paruresis can experience symptoms on a spectrum of severity — some people only experience paruresis occasionally while others aren’t able to urinate unless they're in their bathroom at home.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Peeing in Front of Others More Comfortable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a buffer between yourself and others.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re uncomfortable peeing in public one easy way to at least trick yourself into believing you’re alone is to keep an empty stall or urinal between yourself and any other bathroom users.\\nIf you’re uncomfortable peeing in front of your partner, this may simply mean that you close the door while you're in the bathroom, or wait until your partner is in another part of your home.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to your iPod.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the thing that bothers people most is the sound of peeing. But if you aren’t able to hear your own peeing, you might not be so embarrassed. When in a public washroom, put your headphones on and listen to some music. Turn it up loud enough so you can’t hear anything else going on in the washroom.\\nConsider putting a radio or Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom at home. Make it a habit of turning it on whenever you go into the bathroom. The music will help distract you from the sound of your peeing and possibly prevent your partner from hearing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop talking.\", \"描述\": \"When some people walk into a public washroom they sometimes continue to have conversations. This tends to continue more often when men or boys pee at urinals. If it helps, remember that peeing is totally natural, and urinals are very efficient. Or if you’d prefer to do your business in private, use a stall instead of a urinal.\\nThe opposite might be possible if you’re at home or at a urinal with your father/son/brother/etc. Continuing your conversation while you go to the bathroom might make the whole process seem more comfortable and ‘normal’.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait until you’re alone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re at work or a restaurant and can wait to go to the washroom, watch the bathroom door until you’re certain no one is in there and then go to the washroom. Even if it’s a public washroom you might feel more comfortable if no one else is in there. If necessary, walk out of the washroom and come back later if it’s occupied.\\nIf you don’t want to wait and come back later, take your time adjusting your clothes or make-up in the mirror, or washing your hands, until the washroom is empty.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan ahead.\", \"描述\": \"Many large event locations (e.g. arenas, stadiums, conference centres, malls, etc.) have maps of their buildings online that include the location of the washrooms. And some cities even have maps of all public washrooms available in city buildings, parks, etc. Before going out, research where the public washrooms are so you can be proactive about using them rather than waiting for it to be an emergency.You can also keep track of the public washrooms you use and always go back to your favourites. Some washrooms that are easier to use are those that have partitions all the way to the floor, or are single person washrooms.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Flush the toilet.\", \"描述\": \"While not the most environmentally-friendly option, if you’re nervous about the sound of your peeing in a public washroom, flush the toilet while you’re going. The sound of the flush will usually drown out the sound of the peeing.\\nAlternatively, wait until someone else has flushed a toilet or is running a tap to wash their hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determining If You Have Paruresis\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine if you have paruresis.\", \"描述\": \"Individuals with paruresis tend to have shy personalities and are sensitive and fearful of being judged and criticized by others. Those with severe cases of paruresis may have one or more of the following symptoms:\\nNeeding to have complete privacy when going to the bathroom.\\nBeing fearful that other people may hear the sound of urine hitting the water in the toilet.\\nBeing fearful that other people may be able to smell the urine.\\nHaving negative thoughts while attempting to pee (e.g. I’m such a moron, I’m never going to be able to go pee here.).\\nNot being able to pee in public washrooms, washrooms at other people’s homes or washrooms at work.\\nNot being able to pee at home if someone else is visiting or waiting outside the bathroom.\\nBeing anxious at the thought of having to go to the bathroom.\\nNot wanting to drink too much liquid for fear they’ll have to use the bathroom.\\nAvoiding travel and events outside the home in case they have to use the bathroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know that paruresis is not a physical problem.\", \"描述\": \"The inability to pee in front of other people or when other people are around, is not a physical problem. There is nothing wrong with your kidneys, bladder or urinary tract. Unfortunately paruresis is caused by anxiety which tenses the muscles of the body, including the ‘urinary sphincter’ which prevents urine from being able to exit the body.\\nThe problem can enter a vicious circle as the fact that you are not able to pee then makes you more anxious, which makes it harder to pee, and so on.\\nIt is possible that one specific event in your past caused the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make an appointment with your family doctor.\", \"描述\": \"While paruresis is not a physical problem, you may have physical problems that are making it worse. In order to ensure you don’t have any of these other physical problems, it’s best to talk to your doctor and have those other problems investigated.An example of a physical problem that may make your paruresis is prostatitis, which can affect men.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use medical-based solutions from your doctor.\", \"描述\": \"While paruresis is not a physical problem, there are some medical options your doctor may suggest. Your doctor may prescribe anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants or tranquilizers to help eliminate or reduce the anxiety you feel when trying to pee when others are around.\\nNote that these drugs are not a cure for paruresis, so it is still helpful to obtain other types of help to eliminate the problem completely so you can eventually stop taking these medications.\\nIn very severe cases your doctor may suggest self-catheterization. This is where a catheter (a very slender tube) is inserted into the urethra and into the bladder. Urine can then drain from the bladder without the need to relax the urinary sphincter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treating Your Paruresis\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become a member of the IPA.\", \"描述\": \"The International Paruresis Association (IPA) is a non-profit organization (based in the United States) that provides support and raises public awareness about paruresis. They offer free membership to anyone who is affected by paruresis, which includes the ability to attend their support group and workshops.Check out the IPA website at http://paruresis.org.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a support group.\", \"描述\": \"The IPA provides a list of support groups online at https://paruresis.org/support-groups/. Support groups are available in many countries around the world, and in multiple locations in Canada and the United States. Contact the support group leader for more information on meeting times and locations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek therapy with a psychologist.\", \"描述\": \"There are many ways to find a psychologist to help you with paruresis. The IPA’s website has a list of psychologists who specialize in the treatment of paruresis at http://paruresis.org/sbc-therapists/. You can also ask your family doctor for a referral or recommendation. Or you can search for a psychologist via your local medical listings or psychological association.\\nWhen seeking the assistance of a psychologist, make sure you ask if they have experience treating paruresis before you start therapy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work through cognitive behaviour therapy.\", \"描述\": \"Cognitive behaviour therapy is therapy completed with a psychologist that helps you alter how you think and feel about urination and public washrooms.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create other noises while going to the bathroom.\", \"描述\": \"Because one of the anxieties associated with paruresis is the noise urine makes when it hits the toilet and/or water, one possible method to help overcome the anxiety is to create other sounds in the bathroom while you’re trying to pee. You can do this by turning on a faucet, flushing the toilet, listening to music, or whatever else might work for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Going Through Graduated Exposure Therapy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enlist the help of a psychologist.\", \"描述\": \"While you could probably carry out these instructions on your own, it is also helpful to have a psychologist help you through the process. They’ll be able to help you plan the therapy, pick a partner that can help you and discuss the outcomes of each try.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a list of bathrooms from easiest to hardest.\", \"描述\": \"To start your therapy, you need to make a list of a variety of bathroom locations. These locations need to be everything from very easy to very hard locations for you to go pee. In addition to making the list, rank the locations from easiest to hardest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select a ‘pee partner’ to help you.\", \"描述\": \"Because the main problem with paruresis is peeing in front of other people, you will need to enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend to help you overcome the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start with your home bathroom.\", \"描述\": \"You most likely consider your home bathroom your easiest location to pee. Since you’re comfortable with this bathroom, the only thing to be added is another human being — your ‘pee partner.'\\nStart by going pee in your home bathroom with your pee partner somewhat nearby. Pee for only a few seconds and then stop.\\nWait a few minutes and go back to the bathroom. This time have your pee partner move a little closer to you. Again, pee for a few seconds and then stop.\\nContinue this process with your pee partner moving closer and closer to you.\\nThis process may take several sessions before you’re comfortable peeing in front of your pee partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make noise while your pee.\", \"描述\": \"Throughout the process of peeing in your own home with your pee partner, purposely make noise while you’re peeing. The types of noises you want to make are the types that embarrass you when you’re in a public bathroom. For example, if you don’t like to hear the sound of your pee hitting the side of the toilet or the water, purposely make these types of noises while you pee.By purposely making these noises you’ll start to get used to them and they’ll become less embarrassing. You’re essentially trying to desensitize yourself from these noises so you don’t think about them when you’re peeing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select the next bathroom location on your list.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’re comfortable peeing at home with your pee partner and with making a lot of noise, it’s time to move to the next place on your list. The next bathroom on your list might be a quiet public washroom, or maybe the bathroom at a friend’s house.\\nRepeat the same process you used at home with your pee partner. Start by having them stand outside the door to the washroom and move gradually closer to where the toilet is.\\nOnce you become comfortable with a specific location on your list, move to the next location and repeat the process.\\nEventually you’ll reach the hardest location on your list and you’ll find you’re able to pee in a crowded, noisy public washroom.\\nYou may need to have a practice session 3-4 times a week in order to make the process effective. You should see excellent improvement after 12 sessions if you are consistent.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Drink lots of water before each session.\", \"描述\": \"In order to make each practice session more realistic, and to ensure you actually have to go to the bathroom, drink enough liquids so your bladder is full. Do this on purpose before each practice session with your pee partner.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Using the Breath-Holding Technique\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice holding your breath at home.\", \"描述\": \"The breath-holding technique temporarily increases the amount of carbon dioxide in your blood which is suppose to help with relaxation and reduce anxiety. Before using this technique while peeing, practice holding your breath.\\nStart by holding your breath for 10 seconds and seeing how you feel.\\nIncrease the length you hold your breath by 5-10 seconds at a time. Always stop and assess how you’ve reacted to holding your breath. If you don’t feel well after holding your breath — stop — this technique may not be right for you.\\nTry holding your breath in different locations so you get use to the technique.\\nOnce you can hold your breath for 45 seconds, try using the technique in a real bathroom situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start somewhere you feel comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"This comfortable bathroom might be at home or in an empty public bathroom.\\nStand or sit in the bathroom as you want and breathe normally.\\nOn one of your exhales, stop exhaling about 75% of the way through so you do not empty your lungs.\\nHold your breath for 45 seconds. Hold your nose closed if you have to.\\nAfter 45 seconds you should be able to start peeing.\\nYou may need to perform the exhale technique a second time if you stop peeing midstream.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"描述\": \"This technique only works if you continue to practice in various situations and locations. You may find yourself altering the technique slightly so that it works personally for you — for example, you might decide to start holding your breath as you walk into the bathroom.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,616 | How to Be Comfortable Wearing High Heels when You're Tall | 1. Finding the Perfect Heel
1-1. Find the right heel height.
If you don’t have much experience with wearing high heels, choose a lower heel to start. Start small, with a one inch heel, and continue increasing height as you become more comfortable walking. Once you’ve mastered the one inch heel, try a one and a half inch heel, and keep increasing your heel height by half of an inch.
If you want to try different kinds of heels without breaking the bank, try purchasing different types of shoes with heels that can be worn with different outfits. Start with a one inch heeled boot, then try a two inch heeled sandal, and eventually a three or four inch stiletto!
1-2. Invest in solid heels.
Heel height is not the only factor to consider when choosing the right heels for you. Shoes with a wedge or chunky heel can be much easier to walk in, especially if you’re unsure about your new footwear. Look for heels that will provide the support you need while you’re learning to walk in heels.
Wedge heels are a great option for a stable heel. Wedge heels come in a variety of heights and widths, and often times are significantly easier on your feet than other types of heels.
Stacked heels are wide enough that they are easy to walk in and also come in a variety of styles and heights.
Platforms are a great way to make heels feel shorter without losing any height. A four inch heel with a one inch platform gives the same stylish look, but feels more like walking in a three inch heel.
1-3. Make comfort a priority.
A well made pair of high heels should cause minimal discomfort to the wearer, despite the stigma that suggest high heels are always uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to purchase heels that are a size up or down from your regular size. Keep in mind that certain brands of heels may have a smaller fit and some have a larger fit.
Ask the retailer if they have high heels that contain hidden platform supports. Hidden platforms make heels easier to walk in, so you can feel confident and secure in your heels.
If it has been a while since you had your foot sized, ask the retailer to size your foot. Over time, the size of your foot may have changed, so having your foot professionally sized is always a good idea when investing in new shoes.
1-4. Focus on the fit.
When you’re trying on new heels, focus on how the width suits your foot. Certain high heeled shoes are better suited for those with a narrow foot, while some work better for a wide foot. Make sure you are measuring the length and width of your feet before determining which heels to purchase.
Heels with a boxed toe often work better for those with wider feet, while pointed toes often work better for a narrow foot.
If your feet are sized slightly differently, purchase the shoe size that is more suitable for the larger foot. You can always pad the other shoe with tissues or specialty padding material.
There should be no extra space in between the sides of the shoe and your foot. Any extra space can cause sliding around, which may lead to blistering or discomfort.
1-5. Check your posture.
Make sure you are standing up straight, especially when you’re wearing your high heels. Maintaining good posture while you’re wearing your heels will make them easier to walk in. If you’ve made a habit of slouching to appear more petite, make an even stronger effort to stand tall!
2. Maintaining Your Confidence
2-1. Wear your heels confidently.
Once you’ve found the perfect pair of heels, strut your stuff! The key to wearing heels well is wearing heels that you love, that give your outfit a polished look, and that you are able to walk confidently in. Learning to walk in your heels perfectly takes practice, but it will all pay off when you’re getting compliments on your beautiful shoes.
When you’re wearing your heels, walk heel to toe. Make sure you’re setting your heel down first and then setting down the ball of your foot, as this will make your walk look natural and confident.
Walk slowly and take small steps. Take your time when you’re walking in your new heels, so that you can avoid tripping over your feet.
Lean slightly back when you’re walking, to counteract your body’s natural inclination to lean forward on your heels.
2-2. Practice walking in your heels.
Spend time at home walking on the balls of your feet without your heels, to strengthen your legs and ankles. Wear your heels around the house, so you can walk with confidence when you wear them out of the house. Make an effort to practice walking on a variety of floors, even going so far as to walk outside on pavement.
2-3. Design outfits around your heels.
Choose heels and outfits that you love and that make you feel good. When choosing your outfits to go with your new heels, ask yourself what look you want create. Heels are a great way to dress up a casual outfit, a stylish pair of high heels can make the most casual of outfits feel more elegant. High heels can also give you a boost if the hem of a dress or pant leg hangs a bit too low.
Wear high heels with skinny jeans to make your outfit appear less casual.
Try wearing a pair of high heeled boots with a skirt that falls around your thighs to showcase your beautiful boots.
Wear a pair of heels to elevate yourself in a dress that may be a touch too long to prevent the skirt from dragging and becoming damaged.
2-4. Ignore rude comments.
If someone makes a rude comment about your height or your shoes, do your best to ignore them. Remember, you are not wearing heels to impress anyone, you are wearing them because you love how they look and how they make you feel. People who make rude comments about are often doing so because they are dealing with their own insecurities.
If someone says, “Do you really need to be any taller?” keep your cool and respond politely by saying, “No, but I do need to wear shoes that I love!”
If someone says, “Tall girls shouldn’t wear heels,” do not engage with them at all. If you feel compelled to respond, say something such as, “All girls should wear what makes them feel good about themselves,” and leave it at that. You know your shoes look great and don’t need to spend time convincing anyone else that they do.
2-5. Dress to impress yourself.
When you’re choosing the right pair of shoes, remember to choose a pair that are comfortable and that you love. Don’t feel obligated to wear high heels with any outfit. Instead, do so because they are the perfect finishing touch or focal point of your ensemble. If high heels make you feel strong and confident, then wear them as often as you like!
Tips
When you're practicing at home with your new shoes, pay attention to any areas that are causing discomfort and use items such as gel pads or blister prevention sprays to minimize any pain when you're wearing your heels out.
Choose heels that are flattering to your silhouette. Certain types of heels are more flattering to more petite figures, such as kitten heels.
Wedges are always a good pick, especially for beginners. Stilettos can be dangerous, and for those of us further from the ground, precarious to walk in, as well as hard to control. Wedges, platforms and heeled boots bring stability and predictability. Wedges give you the height, look, and are much more comfortable without the added danger factor!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding the Perfect Heel\\n1-1. Find the right heel height.\\nIf you don’t have much experience with wearing high heels, choose a lower heel to start. Start small, with a one inch heel, and continue increasing height as you become more comfortable walking. Once you’ve mastered the one inch heel, try a one and a half inch heel, and keep increasing your heel height by half of an inch.\\nIf you want to try different kinds of heels without breaking the bank, try purchasing different types of shoes with heels that can be worn with different outfits. Start with a one inch heeled boot, then try a two inch heeled sandal, and eventually a three or four inch stiletto!\\n1-2. Invest in solid heels.\\nHeel height is not the only factor to consider when choosing the right heels for you. Shoes with a wedge or chunky heel can be much easier to walk in, especially if you’re unsure about your new footwear. Look for heels that will provide the support you need while you’re learning to walk in heels.\\nWedge heels are a great option for a stable heel. Wedge heels come in a variety of heights and widths, and often times are significantly easier on your feet than other types of heels.\\nStacked heels are wide enough that they are easy to walk in and also come in a variety of styles and heights.\\nPlatforms are a great way to make heels feel shorter without losing any height. A four inch heel with a one inch platform gives the same stylish look, but feels more like walking in a three inch heel.\\n1-3. Make comfort a priority.\\nA well made pair of high heels should cause minimal discomfort to the wearer, despite the stigma that suggest high heels are always uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to purchase heels that are a size up or down from your regular size. Keep in mind that certain brands of heels may have a smaller fit and some have a larger fit.\\nAsk the retailer if they have high heels that contain hidden platform supports. Hidden platforms make heels easier to walk in, so you can feel confident and secure in your heels.\\nIf it has been a while since you had your foot sized, ask the retailer to size your foot. Over time, the size of your foot may have changed, so having your foot professionally sized is always a good idea when investing in new shoes.\\n1-4. Focus on the fit.\\nWhen you’re trying on new heels, focus on how the width suits your foot. Certain high heeled shoes are better suited for those with a narrow foot, while some work better for a wide foot. Make sure you are measuring the length and width of your feet before determining which heels to purchase.\\nHeels with a boxed toe often work better for those with wider feet, while pointed toes often work better for a narrow foot.\\nIf your feet are sized slightly differently, purchase the shoe size that is more suitable for the larger foot. You can always pad the other shoe with tissues or specialty padding material.\\nThere should be no extra space in between the sides of the shoe and your foot. Any extra space can cause sliding around, which may lead to blistering or discomfort.\\n1-5. Check your posture.\\nMake sure you are standing up straight, especially when you’re wearing your high heels. Maintaining good posture while you’re wearing your heels will make them easier to walk in. If you’ve made a habit of slouching to appear more petite, make an even stronger effort to stand tall!\\n2. Maintaining Your Confidence\\n2-1. Wear your heels confidently.\\nOnce you’ve found the perfect pair of heels, strut your stuff! The key to wearing heels well is wearing heels that you love, that give your outfit a polished look, and that you are able to walk confidently in. Learning to walk in your heels perfectly takes practice, but it will all pay off when you’re getting compliments on your beautiful shoes.\\nWhen you’re wearing your heels, walk heel to toe. Make sure you’re setting your heel down first and then setting down the ball of your foot, as this will make your walk look natural and confident.\\nWalk slowly and take small steps. Take your time when you’re walking in your new heels, so that you can avoid tripping over your feet.\\nLean slightly back when you’re walking, to counteract your body’s natural inclination to lean forward on your heels.\\n2-2. Practice walking in your heels.\\nSpend time at home walking on the balls of your feet without your heels, to strengthen your legs and ankles. Wear your heels around the house, so you can walk with confidence when you wear them out of the house. Make an effort to practice walking on a variety of floors, even going so far as to walk outside on pavement.\\n2-3. Design outfits around your heels.\\nChoose heels and outfits that you love and that make you feel good. When choosing your outfits to go with your new heels, ask yourself what look you want create. Heels are a great way to dress up a casual outfit, a stylish pair of high heels can make the most casual of outfits feel more elegant. High heels can also give you a boost if the hem of a dress or pant leg hangs a bit too low.\\nWear high heels with skinny jeans to make your outfit appear less casual.\\nTry wearing a pair of high heeled boots with a skirt that falls around your thighs to showcase your beautiful boots.\\nWear a pair of heels to elevate yourself in a dress that may be a touch too long to prevent the skirt from dragging and becoming damaged.\\n2-4. Ignore rude comments.\\nIf someone makes a rude comment about your height or your shoes, do your best to ignore them. Remember, you are not wearing heels to impress anyone, you are wearing them because you love how they look and how they make you feel. People who make rude comments about are often doing so because they are dealing with their own insecurities.\\nIf someone says, “Do you really need to be any taller?” keep your cool and respond politely by saying, “No, but I do need to wear shoes that I love!”\\nIf someone says, “Tall girls shouldn’t wear heels,” do not engage with them at all. If you feel compelled to respond, say something such as, “All girls should wear what makes them feel good about themselves,” and leave it at that. You know your shoes look great and don’t need to spend time convincing anyone else that they do.\\n2-5. Dress to impress yourself.\\nWhen you’re choosing the right pair of shoes, remember to choose a pair that are comfortable and that you love. Don’t feel obligated to wear high heels with any outfit. Instead, do so because they are the perfect finishing touch or focal point of your ensemble. If high heels make you feel strong and confident, then wear them as often as you like!\\nTips\\nWhen you're practicing at home with your new shoes, pay attention to any areas that are causing discomfort and use items such as gel pads or blister prevention sprays to minimize any pain when you're wearing your heels out.\\nChoose heels that are flattering to your silhouette. Certain types of heels are more flattering to more petite figures, such as kitten heels.\\nWedges are always a good pick, especially for beginners. Stilettos can be dangerous, and for those of us further from the ground, precarious to walk in, as well as hard to control. Wedges, platforms and heeled boots bring stability and predictability. Wedges give you the height, look, and are much more comfortable without the added danger factor!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you're tall, wearing high heels can often present a series of challenges. Not only can finding the right heels to compliment your height be difficult, it can also be a struggle to find a pair that you feel safe walking in. And that is not to mention that you may experience added pressure to stay confident and not fear being much taller than others. If you’ve ever felt that you are “too tall” for high heels, keep in mind that the average model stands at a height 5’7” and above, without their heels! When searching for high heels as a tall person, remember to find a pair that fit you well, are easy to walk in, and most importantly, make you feel confident.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding the Perfect Heel\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the right heel height.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t have much experience with wearing high heels, choose a lower heel to start. Start small, with a one inch heel, and continue increasing height as you become more comfortable walking. Once you’ve mastered the one inch heel, try a one and a half inch heel, and keep increasing your heel height by half of an inch.\\nIf you want to try different kinds of heels without breaking the bank, try purchasing different types of shoes with heels that can be worn with different outfits. Start with a one inch heeled boot, then try a two inch heeled sandal, and eventually a three or four inch stiletto!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invest in solid heels.\", \"描述\": \"Heel height is not the only factor to consider when choosing the right heels for you. Shoes with a wedge or chunky heel can be much easier to walk in, especially if you’re unsure about your new footwear. Look for heels that will provide the support you need while you’re learning to walk in heels.\\nWedge heels are a great option for a stable heel. Wedge heels come in a variety of heights and widths, and often times are significantly easier on your feet than other types of heels.\\nStacked heels are wide enough that they are easy to walk in and also come in a variety of styles and heights.\\nPlatforms are a great way to make heels feel shorter without losing any height. A four inch heel with a one inch platform gives the same stylish look, but feels more like walking in a three inch heel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make comfort a priority.\", \"描述\": \"A well made pair of high heels should cause minimal discomfort to the wearer, despite the stigma that suggest high heels are always uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to purchase heels that are a size up or down from your regular size. Keep in mind that certain brands of heels may have a smaller fit and some have a larger fit.\\nAsk the retailer if they have high heels that contain hidden platform supports. Hidden platforms make heels easier to walk in, so you can feel confident and secure in your heels.\\nIf it has been a while since you had your foot sized, ask the retailer to size your foot. Over time, the size of your foot may have changed, so having your foot professionally sized is always a good idea when investing in new shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on the fit.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re trying on new heels, focus on how the width suits your foot. Certain high heeled shoes are better suited for those with a narrow foot, while some work better for a wide foot. Make sure you are measuring the length and width of your feet before determining which heels to purchase.\\nHeels with a boxed toe often work better for those with wider feet, while pointed toes often work better for a narrow foot.\\nIf your feet are sized slightly differently, purchase the shoe size that is more suitable for the larger foot. You can always pad the other shoe with tissues or specialty padding material.\\nThere should be no extra space in between the sides of the shoe and your foot. Any extra space can cause sliding around, which may lead to blistering or discomfort.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check your posture.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you are standing up straight, especially when you’re wearing your high heels. Maintaining good posture while you’re wearing your heels will make them easier to walk in. If you’ve made a habit of slouching to appear more petite, make an even stronger effort to stand tall!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear your heels confidently.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve found the perfect pair of heels, strut your stuff! The key to wearing heels well is wearing heels that you love, that give your outfit a polished look, and that you are able to walk confidently in. Learning to walk in your heels perfectly takes practice, but it will all pay off when you’re getting compliments on your beautiful shoes.\\nWhen you’re wearing your heels, walk heel to toe. Make sure you’re setting your heel down first and then setting down the ball of your foot, as this will make your walk look natural and confident.\\nWalk slowly and take small steps. Take your time when you’re walking in your new heels, so that you can avoid tripping over your feet.\\nLean slightly back when you’re walking, to counteract your body’s natural inclination to lean forward on your heels.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice walking in your heels.\", \"描述\": \"Spend time at home walking on the balls of your feet without your heels, to strengthen your legs and ankles. Wear your heels around the house, so you can walk with confidence when you wear them out of the house. Make an effort to practice walking on a variety of floors, even going so far as to walk outside on pavement.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Design outfits around your heels.\", \"描述\": \"Choose heels and outfits that you love and that make you feel good. When choosing your outfits to go with your new heels, ask yourself what look you want create. Heels are a great way to dress up a casual outfit, a stylish pair of high heels can make the most casual of outfits feel more elegant. High heels can also give you a boost if the hem of a dress or pant leg hangs a bit too low.\\nWear high heels with skinny jeans to make your outfit appear less casual.\\nTry wearing a pair of high heeled boots with a skirt that falls around your thighs to showcase your beautiful boots.\\nWear a pair of heels to elevate yourself in a dress that may be a touch too long to prevent the skirt from dragging and becoming damaged.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ignore rude comments.\", \"描述\": \"If someone makes a rude comment about your height or your shoes, do your best to ignore them. Remember, you are not wearing heels to impress anyone, you are wearing them because you love how they look and how they make you feel. People who make rude comments about are often doing so because they are dealing with their own insecurities.\\nIf someone says, “Do you really need to be any taller?” keep your cool and respond politely by saying, “No, but I do need to wear shoes that I love!”\\nIf someone says, “Tall girls shouldn’t wear heels,” do not engage with them at all. If you feel compelled to respond, say something such as, “All girls should wear what makes them feel good about themselves,” and leave it at that. You know your shoes look great and don’t need to spend time convincing anyone else that they do.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re choosing the right pair of shoes, remember to choose a pair that are comfortable and that you love. Don’t feel obligated to wear high heels with any outfit. Instead, do so because they are the perfect finishing touch or focal point of your ensemble. If high heels make you feel strong and confident, then wear them as often as you like!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When you're practicing at home with your new shoes, pay attention to any areas that are causing discomfort and use items such as gel pads or blister prevention sprays to minimize any pain when you're wearing your heels out.\\n\", \"Choose heels that are flattering to your silhouette. Certain types of heels are more flattering to more petite figures, such as kitten heels.\\n\", \"Wedges are always a good pick, especially for beginners. Stilettos can be dangerous, and for those of us further from the ground, precarious to walk in, as well as hard to control. Wedges, platforms and heeled boots bring stability and predictability. Wedges give you the height, look, and are much more comfortable without the added danger factor!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,617 | How to Be Comfortable While on Your Period (Teens) | 1. Wear comfortable clothes.
Choose clothing that is loose, not tight or constricting.
This is especially important around your waist and stomach area. Select underwear that is able to hold sanitary products in place. Wear clothing that breathes, to avoid feeling sweaty or hot.
Choose an old pair of underpants. That way you will not mind so much if they get stained and you can use them as a spare for emergencies.
You can also try to wear shorts that are wide to conceal the pad (if you are using one).
Loose, elasticized clothing is ideal for bloating and comfort. Sweatpants and sweatshirts are great clothing for when you are on your period.
2. Relax.
Use your down time to hang out in comfy positions.
Try lying down if you don't feel well. Sleeping has a lot of restorative power, especially when you feel tired or down.
3. Do things that make you feel good
Listen to music, read a good book, or watch your favorite show.
Wear your favorite jewelry and make-up or enjoy a hobby. Keeping busy and happy while on your period helps to distract you from thinking about it.
4. Spend time with people you enjoy being around.
Hanging out with friends is a great way to keep your mind off things.
Besides, your female friends go through the same thing.
5. Use the right sanitary products to prevent leaks.
Experiment with stronger pads or use tampons as needed.
Alternatively, use underpants with strong elastic that molds closely to you. Avoid underpants that sag or have loose elastic.
Try using period panties. They're helpful for heavy flows, because they can prevent leakage onto your pants or shorts. These panties are breathable, making them safer and much more comfortable.
6. Change your sanitary product often.
Stay fresh and leak-free by changing your pad or tampon every few hours.
Preferably, if you have a lighter flow, use a pantyliner. If your flow is heavy, then consider using pads (there are a variety of pads that you can choose from, depending on your menstrual flow), tampons and pantyliners, or menstrual cups.
If you feel that using pads and tampons is annoying, try to use a menstrual cup, it does not absorb the fluid so it is less mess and less worry. A menstrual cup is often good for up to 12 hours and is reusable.
7. Take medicine to help with cramps.
Ask a parent or doctor about over-the-counter pain medication.
Medicines like acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help. Or try some exercise to lessen the pain of period cramps. If your pain does not subside, do not self-diagnose. It would be a good idea to get some guidance from your family doctor, or your pharmacist.
Check the internet for a variety of exercise sites devoted to reducing the pain of menstruation.
8. Eat nutritious food that is healthy for you.
Eating fruits and vegetables is good for the body.
As well, you should include food that is rich iron when you are menstruating, to replace the iron you lose in the blood during your period.
Though you may be tempted to eat junk food, these types of food can actually make you feel worse.
9. Try to control mood swings.
Stay away from things or people that upset you until you feel better.
Most moodiness that accompanies a period passes quickly. Try going to bed earlier at night, to sleep it off.
Tips
It is a good idea to have a period kit with you, perhaps one in your locker at school as well, just in case.[10]
X
Research source
Try not to think about your period.
If you are having a weird feeling, you might have leaked!
Warnings
You cannot stop your period. It is part of becoming a woman.
If you are having really bad cramps, consult your doctor.
Avoid stressful situations as much as possible, as these situations could worsen cramps and cause you to feel more fragile.
Change often enough to stay free of bacterial growth and odors:
Pads - change it after 3-4 hours;
Cups - change it after 12 hours;
Tampons - for no longer than 8 hours. Leaving a tampon inserted in excess of eight hours can lead to an infection and irritation. It can also cause a serious condition known as Toxic Shock Syndrome.[11]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wear comfortable clothes.\\nChoose clothing that is loose, not tight or constricting.\\nThis is especially important around your waist and stomach area. Select underwear that is able to hold sanitary products in place. Wear clothing that breathes, to avoid feeling sweaty or hot.\\nChoose an old pair of underpants. That way you will not mind so much if they get stained and you can use them as a spare for emergencies.\\nYou can also try to wear shorts that are wide to conceal the pad (if you are using one).\\nLoose, elasticized clothing is ideal for bloating and comfort. Sweatpants and sweatshirts are great clothing for when you are on your period.\\n2. Relax.\\nUse your down time to hang out in comfy positions.\\nTry lying down if you don't feel well. Sleeping has a lot of restorative power, especially when you feel tired or down.\\n3. Do things that make you feel good\\nListen to music, read a good book, or watch your favorite show.\\nWear your favorite jewelry and make-up or enjoy a hobby. Keeping busy and happy while on your period helps to distract you from thinking about it.\\n4. Spend time with people you enjoy being around.\\nHanging out with friends is a great way to keep your mind off things.\\nBesides, your female friends go through the same thing.\\n5. Use the right sanitary products to prevent leaks.\\nExperiment with stronger pads or use tampons as needed.\\nAlternatively, use underpants with strong elastic that molds closely to you. Avoid underpants that sag or have loose elastic.\\nTry using period panties. They're helpful for heavy flows, because they can prevent leakage onto your pants or shorts. These panties are breathable, making them safer and much more comfortable.\\n6. Change your sanitary product often.\\nStay fresh and leak-free by changing your pad or tampon every few hours.\\nPreferably, if you have a lighter flow, use a pantyliner. If your flow is heavy, then consider using pads (there are a variety of pads that you can choose from, depending on your menstrual flow), tampons and pantyliners, or menstrual cups.\\nIf you feel that using pads and tampons is annoying, try to use a menstrual cup, it does not absorb the fluid so it is less mess and less worry. A menstrual cup is often good for up to 12 hours and is reusable.\\n7. Take medicine to help with cramps.\\nAsk a parent or doctor about over-the-counter pain medication.\\nMedicines like acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help. Or try some exercise to lessen the pain of period cramps. If your pain does not subside, do not self-diagnose. It would be a good idea to get some guidance from your family doctor, or your pharmacist.\\nCheck the internet for a variety of exercise sites devoted to reducing the pain of menstruation.\\n8. Eat nutritious food that is healthy for you.\\nEating fruits and vegetables is good for the body.\\nAs well, you should include food that is rich iron when you are menstruating, to replace the iron you lose in the blood during your period.\\nThough you may be tempted to eat junk food, these types of food can actually make you feel worse.\\n9. Try to control mood swings.\\nStay away from things or people that upset you until you feel better.\\nMost moodiness that accompanies a period passes quickly. Try going to bed earlier at night, to sleep it off.\\nTips\\nIt is a good idea to have a period kit with you, perhaps one in your locker at school as well, just in case.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry not to think about your period.\\nIf you are having a weird feeling, you might have leaked!\\nWarnings\\nYou cannot stop your period. It is part of becoming a woman.\\nIf you are having really bad cramps, consult your doctor.\\nAvoid stressful situations as much as possible, as these situations could worsen cramps and cause you to feel more fragile.\\nChange often enough to stay free of bacterial growth and odors:\\n\\nPads - change it after 3-4 hours;\\nCups - change it after 12 hours;\\nTampons - for no longer than 8 hours. Leaving a tampon inserted in excess of eight hours can lead to an infection and irritation. It can also cause a serious condition known as Toxic Shock Syndrome.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a period is a part of growing up. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Are you having a bad day on your period? Finding ways to be comfortable, while staying healthy, is the key to dealing with a monthly part of mother nature that will be with you for a number of years of your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear comfortable clothes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose clothing that is loose, not tight or constricting.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important around your waist and stomach area. Select underwear that is able to hold sanitary products in place. Wear clothing that breathes, to avoid feeling sweaty or hot.\\nChoose an old pair of underpants. That way you will not mind so much if they get stained and you can use them as a spare for emergencies.\\nYou can also try to wear shorts that are wide to conceal the pad (if you are using one).\\nLoose, elasticized clothing is ideal for bloating and comfort. Sweatpants and sweatshirts are great clothing for when you are on your period.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Relax.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use your down time to hang out in comfy positions.\", \"描述\": \"Try lying down if you don't feel well. Sleeping has a lot of restorative power, especially when you feel tired or down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do things that make you feel good\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to music, read a good book, or watch your favorite show.\", \"描述\": \"Wear your favorite jewelry and make-up or enjoy a hobby. Keeping busy and happy while on your period helps to distract you from thinking about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people you enjoy being around.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hanging out with friends is a great way to keep your mind off things.\", \"描述\": \"Besides, your female friends go through the same thing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use the right sanitary products to prevent leaks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Experiment with stronger pads or use tampons as needed.\", \"描述\": \"Alternatively, use underpants with strong elastic that molds closely to you. Avoid underpants that sag or have loose elastic.\\nTry using period panties. They're helpful for heavy flows, because they can prevent leakage onto your pants or shorts. These panties are breathable, making them safer and much more comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Change your sanitary product often.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay fresh and leak-free by changing your pad or tampon every few hours.\", \"描述\": \"Preferably, if you have a lighter flow, use a pantyliner. If your flow is heavy, then consider using pads (there are a variety of pads that you can choose from, depending on your menstrual flow), tampons and pantyliners, or menstrual cups.\\nIf you feel that using pads and tampons is annoying, try to use a menstrual cup, it does not absorb the fluid so it is less mess and less worry. A menstrual cup is often good for up to 12 hours and is reusable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take medicine to help with cramps.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask a parent or doctor about over-the-counter pain medication.\", \"描述\": \"Medicines like acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help. Or try some exercise to lessen the pain of period cramps. If your pain does not subside, do not self-diagnose. It would be a good idea to get some guidance from your family doctor, or your pharmacist.\\nCheck the internet for a variety of exercise sites devoted to reducing the pain of menstruation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Eat nutritious food that is healthy for you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eating fruits and vegetables is good for the body.\", \"描述\": \"As well, you should include food that is rich iron when you are menstruating, to replace the iron you lose in the blood during your period.\\nThough you may be tempted to eat junk food, these types of food can actually make you feel worse.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Try to control mood swings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay away from things or people that upset you until you feel better.\", \"描述\": \"Most moodiness that accompanies a period passes quickly. Try going to bed earlier at night, to sleep it off.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It is a good idea to have a period kit with you, perhaps one in your locker at school as well, just in case.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try not to think about your period.\\n\", \"If you are having a weird feeling, you might have leaked!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You cannot stop your period. It is part of becoming a woman.\\n\", \"If you are having really bad cramps, consult your doctor.\\n\", \"Avoid stressful situations as much as possible, as these situations could worsen cramps and cause you to feel more fragile.\\n\", \"Change often enough to stay free of bacterial growth and odors:\\n\\nPads - change it after 3-4 hours;\\nCups - change it after 12 hours;\\nTampons - for no longer than 8 hours. Leaving a tampon inserted in excess of eight hours can lead to an infection and irritation. It can also cause a serious condition known as Toxic Shock Syndrome.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,618 | How to Be Comfortable With Your Body | 1. Rewriting the Narrative
1-1. Practice positive self-talk.
It is easy to find things about your body to criticize, and every person, no matter how beautiful, has things about their body that they are less than thrilled with. Rather than focusing on the negative, challenge yourself to find positive things about your body.
Maybe you have your father's chin, or strong arms, or great vision. Your best features may not be the ones that others would recognize, but they make you who you are.
We tend to be our own worst critics, launching unreasonable and harsh critiques about our faces, bodies, and abilities. Do not allow yourself to say things to yourself that you would not say to a friend.
1-2. Write positive body affirmations.
Affirmations are short statements that you can repeat to yourself (aloud or in your head) when you begin to feel self-doubt. They should only include positive words and should be short and succinct.
Try standing nude in front of a full length mirror and making a list of all the things about your body that you like. Write these as declarative sentences.
Once you have become comfortable with affirmations about the parts you like, make a list of the parts of your body that you like the least, by writing "My _____." For instance, if you dislike the extra skin on your upper arms, you might write "My arms." Then, come up with at least one thing about teach body part that you are thankful for, and write it next to the body part to create a positive affirmation. For instance, you might write "My arms are strong and work hard for me." Others might include: "My belly has given life and is a warm place for my children to cuddle."
You might write something like, "I'm grateful for having working legs, toes, and arms."
1-3. Fake it till you make it.
When it comes to self-confidence, many people find that it is a lifelong challenge and not something that they can develop overnight. But acting as if you were confident even if you have self-doubt can still reap some of the rewards of confidence.
At home, spend time in the nude to normalize your relationship with your body. If you feel up to it, you might even consider working as a nude figure model to take your self-confidence up a notch and to help yourself become more comfortable in your own skin.
Wear the clothing and make-up you imagine yourself wearing if you had more confidence. Then practice good posture, squaring your shoulders and holding your head high. Speak up and look people in the eye. Others around you will notice how comfortable and confident you seem, and they will treat you like a person with self-confidence.
You will begin to believe it, too. The process of changing your self-perception can take a while, but with consistency and patience, if you act as if you had confidence and others treat you as if you had confidence, eventually you will find that you are no longer acting. Instead, it will be natural.
1-4. Don't compare yourself to others.
. Comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, can be damaging to your self-confidence and self-esteem. There will always be those who have attributes that you don't have, and comparison can't change that. Instead it only expends emotional energy, wastes time, and puts you in a psychologically vulnerable place.
Comparison is really a form of judging. Instead of judging others' appearances, look at them as a whole person. Try to think positive thoughts about their personalities instead of judging how they look on the outside.
1-5. Teach your children.
Today, body image is developed earlier and earlier based on media consumption and socialization processes like daycare. In order to shield your child from negative body image issues later in life, you must begin early.
Limit television consumption, and direct your child to shows that don't feature only physically stereotypical people. Look for healthy body sizes and characters that are not overly sexualized or valued primarily for their appearances.
Be body positive in front of your children. Never criticize bodies (theirs, yours, or other people's) in front of your child. Even if you diet or exercise, be sure that you explain it as a choice to be healthy and active, rather than as a way to control your appearance or fix things you don't like about your body. Research has shown a connection between teenagers (specifically girls) dieting behaviors and their childrens' likelihood to develop eating disorders and body dissatisfaction.
2. Refocusing Your Attention
2-1. Be beautiful, inside and out
Rather than obsessing about your physical appearance, commit to cultivating inner beauty. True inner beauty does not wrinkle or sag, never goes out of style, and will be remembered long after you are gone.
Think about what you value in a friend, and cultivate those attributes in yourself. For instance, if you make efforts to become trustworthy, honest, dependable, loyal, a good listener, and lighthearted, not only will you be developing your own inner beauty, but you will also attract similar people as friends.
Give generously. Your time and resources are precious, and giving has deep psychological benefits for both you and the recipient of your generosity. Consider volunteering, sponsoring a child in need, or donating used toys and clothes. Take up a collection for the food bank or emergency infant services in your town. Or call the local hospital and see how to become a volunteer in the nursery or geriatric ward.
2-2. Find new hobbies and friends.
A preoccupation with your body might mean you have too much time on your hands. It could also mean that the friends you are surrounded by are also preoccupied with their appearances, which is contributing to your own dissatisfaction.
Think about a sport, art, or social cause that you've always wanted to get involved with. Consider joining a local intramural team, taking knitting classes, or volunteering for a political campaign or at the animal shelter.
An added bonus of finding a new hobby or pass-time is that you will likely meet new people there who share your interests and can help redirect your focus off of your appearance and onto your shared hobby.
Try getting into yoga! Research actually shows that when you connect your mind and body through yoga, you feel more comfortable in your body overall.
2-3. Consider what you can change.
Many things about your body are simply the result of your DNA and should be celebrated as unique aspects that make you who you are. Taking control of the areas that you can change can give you a sense of control and confidence.
Exercise. While your body has its own unique shape, you can tone and strengthen it in order to be healthier and have more energy. Even if you do not lose weight, exercise has psychological benefits, reducing stress, cultivating self-discipline, and improving self-image.
Eat well. A balanced diet can improve your body's fitness and health, which will lead to more energy and confidence. Reducing sugar and carbs and ensuring that you have a healthy intake of good fats and protein can lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and improve memory, weight, and heart health.
Get adequate rest. Not only will this improve your body's functionality, but it will improve your emotional state as well, which might have the added benefit of helping you to be less critical of your appearance.
Respect yourself. Your body is a gift. Think about the things it has done for you! Whether you've given birth, hiked a mountain, or simply woke up this morning to another day, your body does amazing things for you.
3. Recognizing the Source of Your Discomfort
3-1. Question society's obsession with appearances.
In order to develop self-acceptance of your body, you must first realize where your dissatisfaction originates. Your dissatisfaction is not just in your head; it is the result of ubiquitous social messages that you have received since you were a child.
We are not naturally self-conscious about our bodies. Very young children tend to be very unconcerned with their bodies' appearances, unless the media, adults, or other children draw their attention to it.
But by age 5, society has taught us that our appearances reflect our value, and many children begin to show signs of body dissatisfaction. Where do these social message originate?
3-2. Recognize that media messages are rooted in profit.
Our capitalist system operates by convincing you that you have needs, and then filling those needs through consumer purchases.
Think of all the products that are marketed to you on a daily basis in television, radio, internet, and print advertising: you stink! Buy this deodorant. Your jeans are out of style! Buy these new skinny jeans. Your teeth aren't straight! Spend several thousand dollars on orthodontics. The root message in nearly all consumer advertising is that you are not adequate on your own. A person who is perfectly happy with their body doesn't make a very good customer!
In fact, every media message is selling you an image. Celebrities and models are glamorous, beautiful, and thin, and they appear to be that way naturally. In fact, their airbrushed appearances mask hours of labor to achieve that "perfect" body: it takes hours in the gym every day and a whole team of makeup artists to maintain their image of perfection. Unless you have a ton of wealth and unlimited free time, comparing yourself to these unrealistic standards of beauty will always leave you feeling dissatisfied with yourself.
Celebrity culture plays a huge role in the maintenance of consumer culture. Think about how magazines and internet articles encourage you to "get the look" by purchasing particular make-up products or clothing or by altering your exercise routine.
3-3. Look closer to home.
While its true that the media and broader social influences can impact your self-image, its also crucial that you surround yourself with positive people who don't contribute to your discomfort with your body.
Consider the people in your life whose opinions matter most to you. Do these people constantly talk about their appearance, worry about their weight, or adjust their hair or makeup? Does being with them make you feel comfortable and confident, or inadequate in some way?
What about you partner(s), if you have one? Do they make critical remarks about your appearance, or do they build you up and compliment you? Critical comments from someone you care about can make it very difficult to build self-confidence, and can also be a warning sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Consider eliminating toxic relationships from your life, or at least seek counseling to see if the relationship is worth salvaging.
If you have close friends who you consider a positive influence, ask them to help you build confidence by not pointing out your flaws (or theirs) and by highlighting areas that they think are your best assets. Remember, your best assets are not always physical!
3-4. Realize that bodies serve a function.
Although society wants us to focus on our bodies as if they are the most important part of our selves, the truth of the matter is that eventually, all of our bodies will grow old and wither. For now, they serve a purpose of helping us to achieve our goals in life.
What is it you want to accomplish in life? How will your body help you reach those goals?
Warnings
In some extreme cases, severe dissatisfaction with the body can signal a psychological condition called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). If you are obsessed with your dissatisfaction or find that it interferes with your life, please see a mental health practitioner. There are treatment plans that can help to improve your quality of life.[12]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Rewriting the Narrative\\n1-1. Practice positive self-talk.\\nIt is easy to find things about your body to criticize, and every person, no matter how beautiful, has things about their body that they are less than thrilled with. Rather than focusing on the negative, challenge yourself to find positive things about your body.\\nMaybe you have your father's chin, or strong arms, or great vision. Your best features may not be the ones that others would recognize, but they make you who you are.\\nWe tend to be our own worst critics, launching unreasonable and harsh critiques about our faces, bodies, and abilities. Do not allow yourself to say things to yourself that you would not say to a friend.\\n1-2. Write positive body affirmations.\\nAffirmations are short statements that you can repeat to yourself (aloud or in your head) when you begin to feel self-doubt. They should only include positive words and should be short and succinct.\\nTry standing nude in front of a full length mirror and making a list of all the things about your body that you like. Write these as declarative sentences.\\nOnce you have become comfortable with affirmations about the parts you like, make a list of the parts of your body that you like the least, by writing \\\"My _____.\\\" For instance, if you dislike the extra skin on your upper arms, you might write \\\"My arms.\\\" Then, come up with at least one thing about teach body part that you are thankful for, and write it next to the body part to create a positive affirmation. For instance, you might write \\\"My arms are strong and work hard for me.\\\" Others might include: \\\"My belly has given life and is a warm place for my children to cuddle.\\\"\\nYou might write something like, \\\"I'm grateful for having working legs, toes, and arms.\\\"\\n1-3. Fake it till you make it.\\nWhen it comes to self-confidence, many people find that it is a lifelong challenge and not something that they can develop overnight. But acting as if you were confident even if you have self-doubt can still reap some of the rewards of confidence.\\nAt home, spend time in the nude to normalize your relationship with your body. If you feel up to it, you might even consider working as a nude figure model to take your self-confidence up a notch and to help yourself become more comfortable in your own skin.\\nWear the clothing and make-up you imagine yourself wearing if you had more confidence. Then practice good posture, squaring your shoulders and holding your head high. Speak up and look people in the eye. Others around you will notice how comfortable and confident you seem, and they will treat you like a person with self-confidence.\\nYou will begin to believe it, too. The process of changing your self-perception can take a while, but with consistency and patience, if you act as if you had confidence and others treat you as if you had confidence, eventually you will find that you are no longer acting. Instead, it will be natural.\\n1-4. Don't compare yourself to others.\\n. Comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, can be damaging to your self-confidence and self-esteem. There will always be those who have attributes that you don't have, and comparison can't change that. Instead it only expends emotional energy, wastes time, and puts you in a psychologically vulnerable place.\\nComparison is really a form of judging. Instead of judging others' appearances, look at them as a whole person. Try to think positive thoughts about their personalities instead of judging how they look on the outside.\\n1-5. Teach your children.\\nToday, body image is developed earlier and earlier based on media consumption and socialization processes like daycare. In order to shield your child from negative body image issues later in life, you must begin early.\\nLimit television consumption, and direct your child to shows that don't feature only physically stereotypical people. Look for healthy body sizes and characters that are not overly sexualized or valued primarily for their appearances.\\nBe body positive in front of your children. Never criticize bodies (theirs, yours, or other people's) in front of your child. Even if you diet or exercise, be sure that you explain it as a choice to be healthy and active, rather than as a way to control your appearance or fix things you don't like about your body. Research has shown a connection between teenagers (specifically girls) dieting behaviors and their childrens' likelihood to develop eating disorders and body dissatisfaction.\\n2. Refocusing Your Attention\\n2-1. Be beautiful, inside and out\\nRather than obsessing about your physical appearance, commit to cultivating inner beauty. True inner beauty does not wrinkle or sag, never goes out of style, and will be remembered long after you are gone.\\nThink about what you value in a friend, and cultivate those attributes in yourself. For instance, if you make efforts to become trustworthy, honest, dependable, loyal, a good listener, and lighthearted, not only will you be developing your own inner beauty, but you will also attract similar people as friends.\\nGive generously. Your time and resources are precious, and giving has deep psychological benefits for both you and the recipient of your generosity. Consider volunteering, sponsoring a child in need, or donating used toys and clothes. Take up a collection for the food bank or emergency infant services in your town. Or call the local hospital and see how to become a volunteer in the nursery or geriatric ward.\\n2-2. Find new hobbies and friends.\\nA preoccupation with your body might mean you have too much time on your hands. It could also mean that the friends you are surrounded by are also preoccupied with their appearances, which is contributing to your own dissatisfaction.\\nThink about a sport, art, or social cause that you've always wanted to get involved with. Consider joining a local intramural team, taking knitting classes, or volunteering for a political campaign or at the animal shelter.\\nAn added bonus of finding a new hobby or pass-time is that you will likely meet new people there who share your interests and can help redirect your focus off of your appearance and onto your shared hobby.\\nTry getting into yoga! Research actually shows that when you connect your mind and body through yoga, you feel more comfortable in your body overall.\\n2-3. Consider what you can change.\\nMany things about your body are simply the result of your DNA and should be celebrated as unique aspects that make you who you are. Taking control of the areas that you can change can give you a sense of control and confidence.\\nExercise. While your body has its own unique shape, you can tone and strengthen it in order to be healthier and have more energy. Even if you do not lose weight, exercise has psychological benefits, reducing stress, cultivating self-discipline, and improving self-image.\\nEat well. A balanced diet can improve your body's fitness and health, which will lead to more energy and confidence. Reducing sugar and carbs and ensuring that you have a healthy intake of good fats and protein can lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and improve memory, weight, and heart health.\\nGet adequate rest. Not only will this improve your body's functionality, but it will improve your emotional state as well, which might have the added benefit of helping you to be less critical of your appearance.\\nRespect yourself. Your body is a gift. Think about the things it has done for you! Whether you've given birth, hiked a mountain, or simply woke up this morning to another day, your body does amazing things for you.\\n3. Recognizing the Source of Your Discomfort\\n3-1. Question society's obsession with appearances.\\nIn order to develop self-acceptance of your body, you must first realize where your dissatisfaction originates. Your dissatisfaction is not just in your head; it is the result of ubiquitous social messages that you have received since you were a child.\\nWe are not naturally self-conscious about our bodies. Very young children tend to be very unconcerned with their bodies' appearances, unless the media, adults, or other children draw their attention to it.\\nBut by age 5, society has taught us that our appearances reflect our value, and many children begin to show signs of body dissatisfaction. Where do these social message originate?\\n3-2. Recognize that media messages are rooted in profit.\\nOur capitalist system operates by convincing you that you have needs, and then filling those needs through consumer purchases.\\nThink of all the products that are marketed to you on a daily basis in television, radio, internet, and print advertising: you stink! Buy this deodorant. Your jeans are out of style! Buy these new skinny jeans. Your teeth aren't straight! Spend several thousand dollars on orthodontics. The root message in nearly all consumer advertising is that you are not adequate on your own. A person who is perfectly happy with their body doesn't make a very good customer!\\nIn fact, every media message is selling you an image. Celebrities and models are glamorous, beautiful, and thin, and they appear to be that way naturally. In fact, their airbrushed appearances mask hours of labor to achieve that \\\"perfect\\\" body: it takes hours in the gym every day and a whole team of makeup artists to maintain their image of perfection. Unless you have a ton of wealth and unlimited free time, comparing yourself to these unrealistic standards of beauty will always leave you feeling dissatisfied with yourself.\\nCelebrity culture plays a huge role in the maintenance of consumer culture. Think about how magazines and internet articles encourage you to \\\"get the look\\\" by purchasing particular make-up products or clothing or by altering your exercise routine.\\n3-3. Look closer to home.\\nWhile its true that the media and broader social influences can impact your self-image, its also crucial that you surround yourself with positive people who don't contribute to your discomfort with your body.\\nConsider the people in your life whose opinions matter most to you. Do these people constantly talk about their appearance, worry about their weight, or adjust their hair or makeup? Does being with them make you feel comfortable and confident, or inadequate in some way?\\nWhat about you partner(s), if you have one? Do they make critical remarks about your appearance, or do they build you up and compliment you? Critical comments from someone you care about can make it very difficult to build self-confidence, and can also be a warning sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Consider eliminating toxic relationships from your life, or at least seek counseling to see if the relationship is worth salvaging.\\nIf you have close friends who you consider a positive influence, ask them to help you build confidence by not pointing out your flaws (or theirs) and by highlighting areas that they think are your best assets. Remember, your best assets are not always physical!\\n3-4. Realize that bodies serve a function.\\nAlthough society wants us to focus on our bodies as if they are the most important part of our selves, the truth of the matter is that eventually, all of our bodies will grow old and wither. For now, they serve a purpose of helping us to achieve our goals in life.\\nWhat is it you want to accomplish in life? How will your body help you reach those goals?\\nWarnings\\nIn some extreme cases, severe dissatisfaction with the body can signal a psychological condition called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). If you are obsessed with your dissatisfaction or find that it interferes with your life, please see a mental health practitioner. There are treatment plans that can help to improve your quality of life.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Our modern world is obsessed with physical appearances. From the time we are babies, society sends a message that our desirability and value as a person is somehow linked to the way that our bodies are formed. Overcoming these social messages can be a lifelong challenge, but becoming comfortable with your body is an important step in developing a healthy relationship with yourself and the world.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rewriting the Narrative\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice positive self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to find things about your body to criticize, and every person, no matter how beautiful, has things about their body that they are less than thrilled with. Rather than focusing on the negative, challenge yourself to find positive things about your body.\\nMaybe you have your father's chin, or strong arms, or great vision. Your best features may not be the ones that others would recognize, but they make you who you are.\\nWe tend to be our own worst critics, launching unreasonable and harsh critiques about our faces, bodies, and abilities. Do not allow yourself to say things to yourself that you would not say to a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write positive body affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Affirmations are short statements that you can repeat to yourself (aloud or in your head) when you begin to feel self-doubt. They should only include positive words and should be short and succinct.\\nTry standing nude in front of a full length mirror and making a list of all the things about your body that you like. Write these as declarative sentences.\\nOnce you have become comfortable with affirmations about the parts you like, make a list of the parts of your body that you like the least, by writing \\\"My _____.\\\" For instance, if you dislike the extra skin on your upper arms, you might write \\\"My arms.\\\" Then, come up with at least one thing about teach body part that you are thankful for, and write it next to the body part to create a positive affirmation. For instance, you might write \\\"My arms are strong and work hard for me.\\\" Others might include: \\\"My belly has given life and is a warm place for my children to cuddle.\\\"\\nYou might write something like, \\\"I'm grateful for having working legs, toes, and arms.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fake it till you make it.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to self-confidence, many people find that it is a lifelong challenge and not something that they can develop overnight. But acting as if you were confident even if you have self-doubt can still reap some of the rewards of confidence.\\nAt home, spend time in the nude to normalize your relationship with your body. If you feel up to it, you might even consider working as a nude figure model to take your self-confidence up a notch and to help yourself become more comfortable in your own skin.\\nWear the clothing and make-up you imagine yourself wearing if you had more confidence. Then practice good posture, squaring your shoulders and holding your head high. Speak up and look people in the eye. Others around you will notice how comfortable and confident you seem, and they will treat you like a person with self-confidence.\\nYou will begin to believe it, too. The process of changing your self-perception can take a while, but with consistency and patience, if you act as if you had confidence and others treat you as if you had confidence, eventually you will find that you are no longer acting. Instead, it will be natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't compare yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \". Comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, can be damaging to your self-confidence and self-esteem. There will always be those who have attributes that you don't have, and comparison can't change that. Instead it only expends emotional energy, wastes time, and puts you in a psychologically vulnerable place.\\nComparison is really a form of judging. Instead of judging others' appearances, look at them as a whole person. Try to think positive thoughts about their personalities instead of judging how they look on the outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Teach your children.\", \"描述\": \"Today, body image is developed earlier and earlier based on media consumption and socialization processes like daycare. In order to shield your child from negative body image issues later in life, you must begin early.\\nLimit television consumption, and direct your child to shows that don't feature only physically stereotypical people. Look for healthy body sizes and characters that are not overly sexualized or valued primarily for their appearances.\\nBe body positive in front of your children. Never criticize bodies (theirs, yours, or other people's) in front of your child. Even if you diet or exercise, be sure that you explain it as a choice to be healthy and active, rather than as a way to control your appearance or fix things you don't like about your body. Research has shown a connection between teenagers (specifically girls) dieting behaviors and their childrens' likelihood to develop eating disorders and body dissatisfaction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Refocusing Your Attention\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be beautiful, inside and out\", \"描述\": \"Rather than obsessing about your physical appearance, commit to cultivating inner beauty. True inner beauty does not wrinkle or sag, never goes out of style, and will be remembered long after you are gone.\\nThink about what you value in a friend, and cultivate those attributes in yourself. For instance, if you make efforts to become trustworthy, honest, dependable, loyal, a good listener, and lighthearted, not only will you be developing your own inner beauty, but you will also attract similar people as friends.\\nGive generously. Your time and resources are precious, and giving has deep psychological benefits for both you and the recipient of your generosity. Consider volunteering, sponsoring a child in need, or donating used toys and clothes. Take up a collection for the food bank or emergency infant services in your town. Or call the local hospital and see how to become a volunteer in the nursery or geriatric ward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find new hobbies and friends.\", \"描述\": \"A preoccupation with your body might mean you have too much time on your hands. It could also mean that the friends you are surrounded by are also preoccupied with their appearances, which is contributing to your own dissatisfaction.\\nThink about a sport, art, or social cause that you've always wanted to get involved with. Consider joining a local intramural team, taking knitting classes, or volunteering for a political campaign or at the animal shelter.\\nAn added bonus of finding a new hobby or pass-time is that you will likely meet new people there who share your interests and can help redirect your focus off of your appearance and onto your shared hobby.\\nTry getting into yoga! Research actually shows that when you connect your mind and body through yoga, you feel more comfortable in your body overall.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider what you can change.\", \"描述\": \"Many things about your body are simply the result of your DNA and should be celebrated as unique aspects that make you who you are. Taking control of the areas that you can change can give you a sense of control and confidence.\\nExercise. While your body has its own unique shape, you can tone and strengthen it in order to be healthier and have more energy. Even if you do not lose weight, exercise has psychological benefits, reducing stress, cultivating self-discipline, and improving self-image.\\nEat well. A balanced diet can improve your body's fitness and health, which will lead to more energy and confidence. Reducing sugar and carbs and ensuring that you have a healthy intake of good fats and protein can lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and improve memory, weight, and heart health.\\nGet adequate rest. Not only will this improve your body's functionality, but it will improve your emotional state as well, which might have the added benefit of helping you to be less critical of your appearance.\\nRespect yourself. Your body is a gift. Think about the things it has done for you! Whether you've given birth, hiked a mountain, or simply woke up this morning to another day, your body does amazing things for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognizing the Source of Your Discomfort\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Question society's obsession with appearances.\", \"描述\": \"In order to develop self-acceptance of your body, you must first realize where your dissatisfaction originates. Your dissatisfaction is not just in your head; it is the result of ubiquitous social messages that you have received since you were a child.\\nWe are not naturally self-conscious about our bodies. Very young children tend to be very unconcerned with their bodies' appearances, unless the media, adults, or other children draw their attention to it.\\nBut by age 5, society has taught us that our appearances reflect our value, and many children begin to show signs of body dissatisfaction. Where do these social message originate?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize that media messages are rooted in profit.\", \"描述\": \"Our capitalist system operates by convincing you that you have needs, and then filling those needs through consumer purchases.\\nThink of all the products that are marketed to you on a daily basis in television, radio, internet, and print advertising: you stink! Buy this deodorant. Your jeans are out of style! Buy these new skinny jeans. Your teeth aren't straight! Spend several thousand dollars on orthodontics. The root message in nearly all consumer advertising is that you are not adequate on your own. A person who is perfectly happy with their body doesn't make a very good customer!\\nIn fact, every media message is selling you an image. Celebrities and models are glamorous, beautiful, and thin, and they appear to be that way naturally. In fact, their airbrushed appearances mask hours of labor to achieve that \\\"perfect\\\" body: it takes hours in the gym every day and a whole team of makeup artists to maintain their image of perfection. Unless you have a ton of wealth and unlimited free time, comparing yourself to these unrealistic standards of beauty will always leave you feeling dissatisfied with yourself.\\nCelebrity culture plays a huge role in the maintenance of consumer culture. Think about how magazines and internet articles encourage you to \\\"get the look\\\" by purchasing particular make-up products or clothing or by altering your exercise routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look closer to home.\", \"描述\": \"While its true that the media and broader social influences can impact your self-image, its also crucial that you surround yourself with positive people who don't contribute to your discomfort with your body.\\nConsider the people in your life whose opinions matter most to you. Do these people constantly talk about their appearance, worry about their weight, or adjust their hair or makeup? Does being with them make you feel comfortable and confident, or inadequate in some way?\\nWhat about you partner(s), if you have one? Do they make critical remarks about your appearance, or do they build you up and compliment you? Critical comments from someone you care about can make it very difficult to build self-confidence, and can also be a warning sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Consider eliminating toxic relationships from your life, or at least seek counseling to see if the relationship is worth salvaging.\\nIf you have close friends who you consider a positive influence, ask them to help you build confidence by not pointing out your flaws (or theirs) and by highlighting areas that they think are your best assets. Remember, your best assets are not always physical!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Realize that bodies serve a function.\", \"描述\": \"Although society wants us to focus on our bodies as if they are the most important part of our selves, the truth of the matter is that eventually, all of our bodies will grow old and wither. For now, they serve a purpose of helping us to achieve our goals in life.\\nWhat is it you want to accomplish in life? How will your body help you reach those goals?\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"In some extreme cases, severe dissatisfaction with the body can signal a psychological condition called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). If you are obsessed with your dissatisfaction or find that it interferes with your life, please see a mental health practitioner. There are treatment plans that can help to improve your quality of life.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,619 | How to Be Comfortable in Any Situation | 1. Reading the Situation
1-1. Think about the people attending any social occasion.
You should act differently depending on who you’re around.
Social situations with your friends should feel relaxed and comfortable. You may speak and act less formally if you're with your friends.
During work events, you should be more attentive to social mores. While you may be friendly with your co-workers and your boss, it's not the same as being around your friends.
Being around family members also means you act differently. You may not talk or act the same around your family as you do around your friends.
Make sure to be especially attentive to the situation when you're meeting new people. You want to be on your best behavior and manners when introducing yourself to new acquaintances.
1-2. Keep in mind the time of day.
Attending social occasions in the morning or daytime hours is different than those in the evening.
Realize the expectations in terms of meals. If the party is during a meal, it's likely that a meal will be served rather than finger food.
Know the expectations of what you should bring. Social occasions around dinner time may require you to bring a bottle of wine. Contact your host if you're not sure.
Don't overindulge on food or drink.This is especially true for social occasions during the day. You don't want to look foolish in front of others.
1-3. Keep in mind the formality of the occasion.
Different occasions require different levels of formality. You may need to dress or act differently.
Know where the event is taking place. If it's in a church, like a baptism or a wedding, then make sure to dress appropriately.
Time of day also tells you how formal the occasion may be. In general, the later the occasion, the more formal it becomes.
Pay attention to invitations. If there are a number of invitations that are relatively formal, then know that the event is probably formal as well.
2. Being Comfortable in Your Interactions
2-1. Be polite.
Always be considerate and conscientious. Make sure your conversation is appropriate and that you make others feel welcome in your presence.
Use your sense of humor. However, limit off-color jokes or statements. Don’t joke about things that may offend strangers or acquaintances.
Have good manners. Poor manners can make people uncomfortable, especially when eating and drinking.
Be considerate of others. Hold open doors for others and pull out their chairs. Don’t make them uncomfortable, but let them know you are trying to make them feel welcome.
Come with a gift if appropriate. When you are visiting someone’s home, come with a gift. It can be small, but you want to have something you can present to your host or hostess to show your appreciation for being invited.
2-2. Consider how others may feel.
Many people are nervous in social situations. Putting yourself in their shoes can ease your own nerves as well.
Know who others are and how they may feel. Try to remember each person you meet and how and why they are there. This will tell you something about their own comfort level.
Realize that uncomfortable situations are nobody’s fault; they are just a fact of life. Think of things from their perspective if you're in an uncomfortable situation.
Pay attention how much eye contact others are giving you. This may tell you how comfortable they feel and how much they are engaged.
Look at other’s body language. See if their arms and body is closed, or crossed, or open and available.
2-3. Think before you speak.
Make sure you consider what you should say before you start talking. Don’t let it paralyze you, but also don’t say anything you may regret.
Try taking a breath or counting to three to yourself before responding to someone. Give yourself a minute before you speak.
Clear your head to avoid saying something regrettable. You don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation.
Avoid controversial topics. Don’t talk about things like politics or religion. Those subjects are based saved for close family and friends.
2-4. Accept your flaws.
Don’t try to act like you’re perfect. Instead, admit things about you that show you’re not pretending to be perfect.
Try to share truthful things about yourself. This will show that you are not only concerned with making you look good.
Use self-deprecating humor. Making fun of yourself can be a good way to make sure others will not.
Don’t put yourself down too much. Otherwise, you seem like you are not confident.
2-5. Talk to others about your interests.
Share things about yourself that others may be interested in.
Talk about things that make you proud. You can share things about work, school, or your life that you feel good about.
Contribute to the conversation. Don’t start talking about something that does not relate. Instead, let your contributions flow naturally in the conversation.
Make an effort to talk to others. People like others who share and talk to them.
2-6. Have a buddy or friend at a party that you can talk to if things get awkward.
Don't be afraid to call and ask a friend to help you with a sticky situation.
Talk to people you know at parties. This can be a good way to meet others that they may know.
Try not to gossip with friends. This will alienate other people from you.
Make sure to not talk exclusively to people you know. Otherwise, you’ll never meet new people.
2-7. Dress for success.
Make sure you are wearing something that is appropriate for the occasion. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Gauge how to dress appropriately. Keep in mind what type of social situation you’re going to and dress accordingly.
Use common sense. Don’t wear anything strange or out of place. You want to look your best, not draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
If you end up overdressed or underdressed, make sure that you still look good. Being confident in your dress may make you look appropriately dressed.
3. Feeling Good About Yourself
3-1. Be confident.
Confidence makes you feel comfortable.
Make eye contact with everyone. Eye contact makes you seem more confident and comfortable around others.
Speak in a clear and steady voice. Don’t try to talk too fast or let your nerves show through.
Have good body language and posture. Stand up straight and don’t slouch. Try not to cross your arms or legs so you have an open and welcoming posture.
Feel good about yourself. You have a lot to offer others and they should want to talk to you.
3-2. Have fun.
Enjoying yourself makes you feel good. Have fun no matter where you are.
Try not to be too nervous. Nothing’s too serious about any social environment that you can’t have fun.
Laugh and joke around with others. Everyone enjoys a little levity.
Don’t try to be a clown for others. Forcing too much fun can create an uncomfortable situation.
3-3. Have reasonable expectations.
Know that any social situation can be uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, just know it will eventually be over.
Feel good about talking and interacting with others. Even if some interactions don’t go well, just keep in mind that you tried.
Know that you may not make friends. Some social occasions may be the only time you meet someone. Have a good time with them then and don’t worry about the future.
Realize that uncomfortable situations may arise. Deal with them as they come and you’ll find they are easier to deal with than you imagine.
Get out of the conversation if you need to. If the person you are talking to is offensive or acting strangely, politely excuse yourself. There’s no reason you have to talk to people that make you feel uncomfortable.
3-4. Confront your fears.
Go up and talk to a stranger. You’ll find it’s less scary than you think.
Talk to people who are standing by themselves. If they look friendly and open, come up to them and start a conversation.
Ask people about themselves. Don’t pry too much, but general information can be a good starting place for a conversation.
Avoid negative thoughts. Try not to think of the worse case scenario. Nothing that bad can happen if you try to talk to a stranger at a social event.
3-5. Recognize your best qualities.
Use them to your advantage. This could be anything from your hair to your singing voice.
Wear clothes that makes you look and feel good. Highlight what’s best about you.
Discuss topics you feel comfortable with. Don’t direct the conversation, but highlight things you know about and can contribute to in conversation.
Don’t force your best qualities on others. Only sing, or perform other talents, if people ask you to. Unprompted performances can be awkward and unwanted.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reading the Situation\\n1-1. Think about the people attending any social occasion.\\nYou should act differently depending on who you’re around.\\nSocial situations with your friends should feel relaxed and comfortable. You may speak and act less formally if you're with your friends.\\nDuring work events, you should be more attentive to social mores. While you may be friendly with your co-workers and your boss, it's not the same as being around your friends.\\nBeing around family members also means you act differently. You may not talk or act the same around your family as you do around your friends.\\nMake sure to be especially attentive to the situation when you're meeting new people. You want to be on your best behavior and manners when introducing yourself to new acquaintances.\\n1-2. Keep in mind the time of day.\\nAttending social occasions in the morning or daytime hours is different than those in the evening.\\nRealize the expectations in terms of meals. If the party is during a meal, it's likely that a meal will be served rather than finger food.\\nKnow the expectations of what you should bring. Social occasions around dinner time may require you to bring a bottle of wine. Contact your host if you're not sure.\\nDon't overindulge on food or drink.This is especially true for social occasions during the day. You don't want to look foolish in front of others.\\n1-3. Keep in mind the formality of the occasion.\\nDifferent occasions require different levels of formality. You may need to dress or act differently.\\nKnow where the event is taking place. If it's in a church, like a baptism or a wedding, then make sure to dress appropriately.\\nTime of day also tells you how formal the occasion may be. In general, the later the occasion, the more formal it becomes.\\nPay attention to invitations. If there are a number of invitations that are relatively formal, then know that the event is probably formal as well.\\n2. Being Comfortable in Your Interactions\\n2-1. Be polite.\\nAlways be considerate and conscientious. Make sure your conversation is appropriate and that you make others feel welcome in your presence.\\nUse your sense of humor. However, limit off-color jokes or statements. Don’t joke about things that may offend strangers or acquaintances.\\nHave good manners. Poor manners can make people uncomfortable, especially when eating and drinking.\\nBe considerate of others. Hold open doors for others and pull out their chairs. Don’t make them uncomfortable, but let them know you are trying to make them feel welcome.\\nCome with a gift if appropriate. When you are visiting someone’s home, come with a gift. It can be small, but you want to have something you can present to your host or hostess to show your appreciation for being invited.\\n2-2. Consider how others may feel.\\nMany people are nervous in social situations. Putting yourself in their shoes can ease your own nerves as well.\\nKnow who others are and how they may feel. Try to remember each person you meet and how and why they are there. This will tell you something about their own comfort level.\\nRealize that uncomfortable situations are nobody’s fault; they are just a fact of life. Think of things from their perspective if you're in an uncomfortable situation.\\nPay attention how much eye contact others are giving you. This may tell you how comfortable they feel and how much they are engaged.\\nLook at other’s body language. See if their arms and body is closed, or crossed, or open and available.\\n2-3. Think before you speak.\\nMake sure you consider what you should say before you start talking. Don’t let it paralyze you, but also don’t say anything you may regret.\\nTry taking a breath or counting to three to yourself before responding to someone. Give yourself a minute before you speak.\\nClear your head to avoid saying something regrettable. You don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation.\\nAvoid controversial topics. Don’t talk about things like politics or religion. Those subjects are based saved for close family and friends.\\n2-4. Accept your flaws.\\nDon’t try to act like you’re perfect. Instead, admit things about you that show you’re not pretending to be perfect.\\nTry to share truthful things about yourself. This will show that you are not only concerned with making you look good.\\nUse self-deprecating humor. Making fun of yourself can be a good way to make sure others will not.\\nDon’t put yourself down too much. Otherwise, you seem like you are not confident.\\n2-5. Talk to others about your interests.\\nShare things about yourself that others may be interested in.\\nTalk about things that make you proud. You can share things about work, school, or your life that you feel good about.\\nContribute to the conversation. Don’t start talking about something that does not relate. Instead, let your contributions flow naturally in the conversation.\\nMake an effort to talk to others. People like others who share and talk to them.\\n2-6. Have a buddy or friend at a party that you can talk to if things get awkward.\\nDon't be afraid to call and ask a friend to help you with a sticky situation.\\nTalk to people you know at parties. This can be a good way to meet others that they may know.\\nTry not to gossip with friends. This will alienate other people from you.\\nMake sure to not talk exclusively to people you know. Otherwise, you’ll never meet new people.\\n2-7. Dress for success.\\nMake sure you are wearing something that is appropriate for the occasion. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.\\nGauge how to dress appropriately. Keep in mind what type of social situation you’re going to and dress accordingly.\\nUse common sense. Don’t wear anything strange or out of place. You want to look your best, not draw unnecessary attention to yourself.\\nIf you end up overdressed or underdressed, make sure that you still look good. Being confident in your dress may make you look appropriately dressed.\\n3. Feeling Good About Yourself\\n3-1. Be confident.\\nConfidence makes you feel comfortable.\\nMake eye contact with everyone. Eye contact makes you seem more confident and comfortable around others.\\nSpeak in a clear and steady voice. Don’t try to talk too fast or let your nerves show through.\\nHave good body language and posture. Stand up straight and don’t slouch. Try not to cross your arms or legs so you have an open and welcoming posture.\\nFeel good about yourself. You have a lot to offer others and they should want to talk to you.\\n3-2. Have fun.\\nEnjoying yourself makes you feel good. Have fun no matter where you are.\\nTry not to be too nervous. Nothing’s too serious about any social environment that you can’t have fun.\\nLaugh and joke around with others. Everyone enjoys a little levity.\\nDon’t try to be a clown for others. Forcing too much fun can create an uncomfortable situation.\\n3-3. Have reasonable expectations.\\nKnow that any social situation can be uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, just know it will eventually be over.\\nFeel good about talking and interacting with others. Even if some interactions don’t go well, just keep in mind that you tried.\\nKnow that you may not make friends. Some social occasions may be the only time you meet someone. Have a good time with them then and don’t worry about the future.\\nRealize that uncomfortable situations may arise. Deal with them as they come and you’ll find they are easier to deal with than you imagine.\\nGet out of the conversation if you need to. If the person you are talking to is offensive or acting strangely, politely excuse yourself. There’s no reason you have to talk to people that make you feel uncomfortable.\\n3-4. Confront your fears.\\nGo up and talk to a stranger. You’ll find it’s less scary than you think.\\nTalk to people who are standing by themselves. If they look friendly and open, come up to them and start a conversation.\\nAsk people about themselves. Don’t pry too much, but general information can be a good starting place for a conversation.\\nAvoid negative thoughts. Try not to think of the worse case scenario. Nothing that bad can happen if you try to talk to a stranger at a social event.\\n3-5. Recognize your best qualities.\\nUse them to your advantage. This could be anything from your hair to your singing voice.\\nWear clothes that makes you look and feel good. Highlight what’s best about you.\\nDiscuss topics you feel comfortable with. Don’t direct the conversation, but highlight things you know about and can contribute to in conversation.\\nDon’t force your best qualities on others. Only sing, or perform other talents, if people ask you to. Unprompted performances can be awkward and unwanted.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some people are comfortable in any situation. They are good at putting themselves and others at ease. They are able to be charming and classy. In order to be comfortable in any situation, it’s important to know how to read the situation, be comfortable in your interactions, and feel good about yourself. If you’re comfortable with yourself, you’ll be comfortable in almost any situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reading the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about the people attending any social occasion.\", \"描述\": \"You should act differently depending on who you’re around.\\nSocial situations with your friends should feel relaxed and comfortable. You may speak and act less formally if you're with your friends.\\nDuring work events, you should be more attentive to social mores. While you may be friendly with your co-workers and your boss, it's not the same as being around your friends.\\nBeing around family members also means you act differently. You may not talk or act the same around your family as you do around your friends.\\nMake sure to be especially attentive to the situation when you're meeting new people. You want to be on your best behavior and manners when introducing yourself to new acquaintances.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind the time of day.\", \"描述\": \"Attending social occasions in the morning or daytime hours is different than those in the evening.\\nRealize the expectations in terms of meals. If the party is during a meal, it's likely that a meal will be served rather than finger food.\\nKnow the expectations of what you should bring. Social occasions around dinner time may require you to bring a bottle of wine. Contact your host if you're not sure.\\nDon't overindulge on food or drink.This is especially true for social occasions during the day. You don't want to look foolish in front of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind the formality of the occasion.\", \"描述\": \"Different occasions require different levels of formality. You may need to dress or act differently.\\nKnow where the event is taking place. If it's in a church, like a baptism or a wedding, then make sure to dress appropriately.\\nTime of day also tells you how formal the occasion may be. In general, the later the occasion, the more formal it becomes.\\nPay attention to invitations. If there are a number of invitations that are relatively formal, then know that the event is probably formal as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Comfortable in Your Interactions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Always be considerate and conscientious. Make sure your conversation is appropriate and that you make others feel welcome in your presence.\\nUse your sense of humor. However, limit off-color jokes or statements. Don’t joke about things that may offend strangers or acquaintances.\\nHave good manners. Poor manners can make people uncomfortable, especially when eating and drinking.\\nBe considerate of others. Hold open doors for others and pull out their chairs. Don’t make them uncomfortable, but let them know you are trying to make them feel welcome.\\nCome with a gift if appropriate. When you are visiting someone’s home, come with a gift. It can be small, but you want to have something you can present to your host or hostess to show your appreciation for being invited.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider how others may feel.\", \"描述\": \"Many people are nervous in social situations. Putting yourself in their shoes can ease your own nerves as well.\\nKnow who others are and how they may feel. Try to remember each person you meet and how and why they are there. This will tell you something about their own comfort level.\\nRealize that uncomfortable situations are nobody’s fault; they are just a fact of life. Think of things from their perspective if you're in an uncomfortable situation.\\nPay attention how much eye contact others are giving you. This may tell you how comfortable they feel and how much they are engaged.\\nLook at other’s body language. See if their arms and body is closed, or crossed, or open and available.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you consider what you should say before you start talking. Don’t let it paralyze you, but also don’t say anything you may regret.\\nTry taking a breath or counting to three to yourself before responding to someone. Give yourself a minute before you speak.\\nClear your head to avoid saying something regrettable. You don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation.\\nAvoid controversial topics. Don’t talk about things like politics or religion. Those subjects are based saved for close family and friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept your flaws.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to act like you’re perfect. Instead, admit things about you that show you’re not pretending to be perfect.\\nTry to share truthful things about yourself. This will show that you are not only concerned with making you look good.\\nUse self-deprecating humor. Making fun of yourself can be a good way to make sure others will not.\\nDon’t put yourself down too much. Otherwise, you seem like you are not confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to others about your interests.\", \"描述\": \"Share things about yourself that others may be interested in.\\nTalk about things that make you proud. You can share things about work, school, or your life that you feel good about.\\nContribute to the conversation. Don’t start talking about something that does not relate. Instead, let your contributions flow naturally in the conversation.\\nMake an effort to talk to others. People like others who share and talk to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a buddy or friend at a party that you can talk to if things get awkward.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to call and ask a friend to help you with a sticky situation.\\nTalk to people you know at parties. This can be a good way to meet others that they may know.\\nTry not to gossip with friends. This will alienate other people from you.\\nMake sure to not talk exclusively to people you know. Otherwise, you’ll never meet new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dress for success.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you are wearing something that is appropriate for the occasion. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.\\nGauge how to dress appropriately. Keep in mind what type of social situation you’re going to and dress accordingly.\\nUse common sense. Don’t wear anything strange or out of place. You want to look your best, not draw unnecessary attention to yourself.\\nIf you end up overdressed or underdressed, make sure that you still look good. Being confident in your dress may make you look appropriately dressed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feeling Good About Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence makes you feel comfortable.\\nMake eye contact with everyone. Eye contact makes you seem more confident and comfortable around others.\\nSpeak in a clear and steady voice. Don’t try to talk too fast or let your nerves show through.\\nHave good body language and posture. Stand up straight and don’t slouch. Try not to cross your arms or legs so you have an open and welcoming posture.\\nFeel good about yourself. You have a lot to offer others and they should want to talk to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have fun.\", \"描述\": \"Enjoying yourself makes you feel good. Have fun no matter where you are.\\nTry not to be too nervous. Nothing’s too serious about any social environment that you can’t have fun.\\nLaugh and joke around with others. Everyone enjoys a little levity.\\nDon’t try to be a clown for others. Forcing too much fun can create an uncomfortable situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have reasonable expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Know that any social situation can be uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, just know it will eventually be over.\\nFeel good about talking and interacting with others. Even if some interactions don’t go well, just keep in mind that you tried.\\nKnow that you may not make friends. Some social occasions may be the only time you meet someone. Have a good time with them then and don’t worry about the future.\\nRealize that uncomfortable situations may arise. Deal with them as they come and you’ll find they are easier to deal with than you imagine.\\nGet out of the conversation if you need to. If the person you are talking to is offensive or acting strangely, politely excuse yourself. There’s no reason you have to talk to people that make you feel uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Confront your fears.\", \"描述\": \"Go up and talk to a stranger. You’ll find it’s less scary than you think.\\nTalk to people who are standing by themselves. If they look friendly and open, come up to them and start a conversation.\\nAsk people about themselves. Don’t pry too much, but general information can be a good starting place for a conversation.\\nAvoid negative thoughts. Try not to think of the worse case scenario. Nothing that bad can happen if you try to talk to a stranger at a social event.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recognize your best qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Use them to your advantage. This could be anything from your hair to your singing voice.\\nWear clothes that makes you look and feel good. Highlight what’s best about you.\\nDiscuss topics you feel comfortable with. Don’t direct the conversation, but highlight things you know about and can contribute to in conversation.\\nDon’t force your best qualities on others. Only sing, or perform other talents, if people ask you to. Unprompted performances can be awkward and unwanted.\"}]}]}}",
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3,620 | How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin | 1. Embracing Yourself
1-1. Embrace your unique qualities.
Feeling different from other people is normal. What’s difficult is accepting and embracing your differences and standing by who you are. Start by getting to really know yourself; what you like doing, what makes you feel happy, and what sets you apart from other people. Then work on accepting that other people may not always accept or understand those things, and that is okay.
Think of your unique qualities as some of your most important features. They are the things that make you who you are, and help you stand out as an individual.
1-2. Take care of your body.
Make sure to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, to shower daily, and to pay attention to hygiene. You may not feel comfortable in your own skin because you’re always feeling tired or unhappy with the way you feel. Taking the time to maintain your health can help you fix that. Take long baths. Pamper yourself. Make sure to eat three balanced meals a day. All of this will make you feel happier to be who you are, and happier about sharing that with the world.
Taking care of your body doesn’t mean putting on makeup and looking like a model when you leave the house. It just means giving your body the time and effort it deserves.
1-3. Spend time with people who make you feel good.
A big part of embracing who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin is being around people who support you and make you feel good about yourself. Dump those toxic friends who are always bringing you down, being negative, and ignoring you in favor of their own narcissism. Work on hanging out with the people who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.
1-4. Look confident to feel confident.
People who aren’t comfortable in their own skin walk in to a room like they don’t belong there and tend to keep a low profile. The next time you walk into a room, keep your head high, smile, and sit in a chair like it’s your favorite comfy chair at home. Though you shouldn’t kick your feet up at a new person’s home, treat the place like your own living room, and be comfortable inhabiting a new space. People will be able to tell that you feel like you belong there, and like you’ve earned your place there.
If you project confidence in a new situation, you’ll be much more likely to feel it. Some ways to show confidence in your body language include:
Holding your head high
Standing or sit tall with good posture
Keeping your shoulders back and your chest out
Avoiding fidgeting or tapping
Remaining open by not crossing your arms across your chest
1-5. Learn to love yourself.
Truly loving yourself can take a lifetime, so why not start today? Be comfortable with the way you look, smell, sound, act, and react to situations. Work on finding a happiness from within and letting it radiate out. If you don’t love yourself, then it won’t matter how many other people do. It’s just like thinking that you’re beautiful – you have to feel it first before it matters if anyone else does. Give yourself enough “me time” to learn to really love the person you are, to do the things that matter to you, and to quiet your mind so you can focus on what’s right in front of you.
If you’re feeling really overwhelmed by the world, give yourself a day of silence to avoid television, the Internet, your phone, or any other distractions. Focus on just inhabiting your own mind and body.
2. Changing Your Perspective
2-1. Think positively.
You may think that some people are just naturally more positive than others. That’s not necessarily wrong, but don’t let negative thinking keep you from making a decision to be more positive. If you want to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, fight your negative thoughts with at least two or three positive ones. Make an effort to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and to expect good things to happen to you; the more you expect good things to happen, the more they will.
Let’s say you’re going to a party where you won’t know a lot of people. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m probably going to spend all of my time hanging out alone by the pita and hummus,” you should alter this negative thought. Instead tell yourself, “Maybe I’ll make a new friend tonight,” or “I’ll have a great time catching up with the few people I know.”
Positive thinking can help you feel happier and have less stress.
2-2. Practice acceptance and improvement.
Accepting who you are does not mean that you have to give up on improving yourself. If there is an aspect of your life that you would like to change, then set goals for yourself to help you get there. You can work for change while still accepting where you are in the moment.
If, for example, you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, accept that about yourself. Say “I am not always comfortable talking to new people, and that is okay.” Then set a goal for change. Your goal could be, “I will talk to someone I don’t know twice every week.” Next time you’re waiting for an elevator or standing in line at a store, strike up a conversation with someone. These baby steps will help you change your level of comfort over time.
Another example that people often struggle with is weight loss. Many people who feel that they need to lose weight are unhappy with their bodies as they are. However, accepting and loving your body as it is could actually help you lose weight.
2-3. Compliment yourself.
You may suddenly feel great about yourself when someone tells you that you look amazing, or when a friend compliments an aspect of your personality. But the compliments will come and the compliments will go, and at the end of the day, your self-worth shouldn’t depend on what other people say about you, whether it’s good or bad. You should be able to accept compliments from others graciously—and genuinely believe them, but you should also get used to complimenting yourself.
You can also work on giving other people compliments when it feels right. Feel good about making other people feel good.
2-4. Develop your confidence.
Being confident is the key to feeling comfortable in your own skin, and it’s obviously easier said than done. Confidence comes from within, and developing your confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you have to bring to the table. If you can’t stand what you see in the mirror and feel like you have nothing to contribute to a conversation, then you can’t move forward. Work on finding at least a few things that you love about yourself, and with being happy with how you look instead of getting lost in self-consciousness.
Developing confidence takes a lifetime. But you can’t start until you make a commitment to start changing the way you feel about yourself.
Make a list of your positive attributes. You can add to the list every day, or a few times a week. If you do something that makes you feel good about yourself, add it to the list.
2-5. Keep a gratitude journal.
Keeping track of things and people for which you are grateful can have a profound effect on your life. The journal, and practicing gratitude generally, can help you feel happier and more confident about who you are. It helps your perspective become more positive, as it makes you focus more on the good things in your life.
Each day, write down at least one thing that you feel grateful for. When you're feeling down, take out your journal and read through it to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.
2-6. Think of yourself as a beautiful person.
It’s great if your boyfriend, best friends, and everyone around you thinks you’re beautiful, but that doesn’t matter one bit if you’re convinced that you’re ugly. Even a supermodel can feel completely insecure and inadequate, and what you think on the inside is much more important than how people view you on the outside. Know that the first step to feeling beautiful is really thinking that you are beautiful, just as you are. If other people agree, then great, but in the end, it really makes no difference.
Look in the mirror and think, “Wow, my hair looks great today!” Or, “My eyes look pretty in this light.” Or, better yet, “I can see kindness in my smile and joy in my eyes.”
If you start to think you’re beautiful, people will be able to sense that. And guess what? That will make you even more beautiful.
2-7. Honor your strengths.
Everyone has different strengths; the key to honoring yours is identifying them, then nurturing them. Keeping a positive focus on your strengths will help you maintain a positive outlook and feel more comfortable with who you are.
2-8. Meditate.
Meditating can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin because it will help you feel attuned to your body and your breath. Take 10-15 minutes a day to sit down in a comfortable place, and work on relaxing every part of your body one at a time. Focus on the sound and feeling of your breath rising in and out of your body and let all of the noise and worries of the day melt away. This will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with who you are, and will help you get rid of all of those distractions that can crowd your days.
Make a habit of meditating at least once or twice a day and you’ll quickly be able to see what a big difference it makes.
If mediation works for you, you can also try yoga. Yoga also lets you focus on your mind and body and adds movement to your thinking.
3. Making Lifestyle Changes
3-1. Find your passion.
Finding something that you’re passionate about and allowing yourself to incorporate that passion into your life can help you feel happier and more confident. Find your passion by reflecting on your interests, identifying what makes you lose track of time, and thinking about the things you loved doing as a child.
If you're not sure what your passion is, commit to writing down everything that makes you feel lit up or energized for a whole week. Don't leave anything out, no matter how small it is. At the end of the week, read over the list, and see if it gives you any insight into what makes you feel happy as a person.
Once you have found a passion, work on it. If you think of passion as a muscle that needs working to strengthen, rather than as an object or a thing you find, you will more effectively develop your passion.
3-2. Dance.
Dancing can help you take possession of your body, let loose, and feel comfortable with who you are. Various kinds of dancing in vastly different groups of people have consistently shown increased happiness and lower stress. This can translate into a boost in confidence.
Not sure where to start? Sign up for a beginner’s dance class. Don’t like classes? Close your curtains, crank up the music, and have a solo dance party in your home. Need guidance at home? Get a dance-based exercise DVD or find a YouTube video of a beginner dance class.
3-3. Get creative.
Being creative can help you improve your self-worth, find feelings you didn’t know you had, and feel great about what you have to offer to the world. While it takes confidence to embrace creativity, creativity also boosts confidence. Even if you don’t think you’re the creative type, you may end up surprising yourself. Write a poem. Get some colored pencils and sketch a landscape. Take a ceramics class. Take an interpretive movement class. Try songwriting. Do something completely out of your comfort zone and see what you come up with. Getting creative will help you see the world in a new way and will make you more comfortable with who you are.
Make time for creativity in your life. If you’re stuck in a cycle of sleep, work, do household chores, repeat, you’re unlikely to feel fulfilled. Setting aside time for play and creativity can make you feel happier, which can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
3-4. Exercise.
You don’t need to have a six-pack or to be in top shape to put some time into exercise each week. Working out for just half an hour a day or an hour every other day will improve your mood, keep your heart strong, and make you feel better about the way you look and feel. Even taking a 20 minute walk every day can help you feel better about getting out of the house, and improve your mindset just by being in the fresh air.
Choose activity over inactivity whenever you can. Walk 15 minutes to the grocery store instead of driving. Walk to the fourth floor of your office building instead of taking the elevator. These small changes can make a big difference.
If you find it hard to motivate yourself to work out on your own, take a yoga or barre class with a friend, or join a team sport. Exercise can be a social thing, too.
3-5. Make laughter a bigger part of your life.
Anyone can stand to laugh more. Whether you’re cracking jokes, hanging out with people who make you laugh, or watching at least one comedy a week, the more you laugh, the more comfortable you’ll feel about being yourself. You can feel happier and have less anxiety, which can lower your stress levels and improve your health. Smiling more has also been shown to improve your mood and make you laugh more readily.
When you’re truly laughing, you won’t be able to stop and doubt yourself. True laughter will make you embrace the moment and feel happy being yourself.
Tips
Get a support system... friends or family who can know what you are trying to do and can be there to confident in if you have a hard time with your goals.
Your support system can also help you meet your goals by being able to offer advice to you that could help you meet your goals.
Keep yourself and your goals realistic and doable– this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…
Warnings
You are going to have to step out of a normal routine that may make you uneasy but trust yourself and know that it is worth it!
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Embracing Yourself\\n1-1. Embrace your unique qualities.\\nFeeling different from other people is normal. What’s difficult is accepting and embracing your differences and standing by who you are. Start by getting to really know yourself; what you like doing, what makes you feel happy, and what sets you apart from other people. Then work on accepting that other people may not always accept or understand those things, and that is okay.\\nThink of your unique qualities as some of your most important features. They are the things that make you who you are, and help you stand out as an individual.\\n1-2. Take care of your body.\\nMake sure to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, to shower daily, and to pay attention to hygiene. You may not feel comfortable in your own skin because you’re always feeling tired or unhappy with the way you feel. Taking the time to maintain your health can help you fix that. Take long baths. Pamper yourself. Make sure to eat three balanced meals a day. All of this will make you feel happier to be who you are, and happier about sharing that with the world.\\nTaking care of your body doesn’t mean putting on makeup and looking like a model when you leave the house. It just means giving your body the time and effort it deserves.\\n1-3. Spend time with people who make you feel good.\\nA big part of embracing who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin is being around people who support you and make you feel good about yourself. Dump those toxic friends who are always bringing you down, being negative, and ignoring you in favor of their own narcissism. Work on hanging out with the people who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.\\n1-4. Look confident to feel confident.\\nPeople who aren’t comfortable in their own skin walk in to a room like they don’t belong there and tend to keep a low profile. The next time you walk into a room, keep your head high, smile, and sit in a chair like it’s your favorite comfy chair at home. Though you shouldn’t kick your feet up at a new person’s home, treat the place like your own living room, and be comfortable inhabiting a new space. People will be able to tell that you feel like you belong there, and like you’ve earned your place there.\\nIf you project confidence in a new situation, you’ll be much more likely to feel it. Some ways to show confidence in your body language include:\\nHolding your head high\\nStanding or sit tall with good posture\\nKeeping your shoulders back and your chest out\\nAvoiding fidgeting or tapping\\nRemaining open by not crossing your arms across your chest\\n1-5. Learn to love yourself.\\nTruly loving yourself can take a lifetime, so why not start today? Be comfortable with the way you look, smell, sound, act, and react to situations. Work on finding a happiness from within and letting it radiate out. If you don’t love yourself, then it won’t matter how many other people do. It’s just like thinking that you’re beautiful – you have to feel it first before it matters if anyone else does. Give yourself enough “me time” to learn to really love the person you are, to do the things that matter to you, and to quiet your mind so you can focus on what’s right in front of you.\\nIf you’re feeling really overwhelmed by the world, give yourself a day of silence to avoid television, the Internet, your phone, or any other distractions. Focus on just inhabiting your own mind and body.\\n2. Changing Your Perspective\\n2-1. Think positively.\\nYou may think that some people are just naturally more positive than others. That’s not necessarily wrong, but don’t let negative thinking keep you from making a decision to be more positive. If you want to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, fight your negative thoughts with at least two or three positive ones. Make an effort to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and to expect good things to happen to you; the more you expect good things to happen, the more they will.\\nLet’s say you’re going to a party where you won’t know a lot of people. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m probably going to spend all of my time hanging out alone by the pita and hummus,” you should alter this negative thought. Instead tell yourself, “Maybe I’ll make a new friend tonight,” or “I’ll have a great time catching up with the few people I know.”\\nPositive thinking can help you feel happier and have less stress.\\n2-2. Practice acceptance and improvement.\\nAccepting who you are does not mean that you have to give up on improving yourself. If there is an aspect of your life that you would like to change, then set goals for yourself to help you get there. You can work for change while still accepting where you are in the moment.\\nIf, for example, you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, accept that about yourself. Say “I am not always comfortable talking to new people, and that is okay.” Then set a goal for change. Your goal could be, “I will talk to someone I don’t know twice every week.” Next time you’re waiting for an elevator or standing in line at a store, strike up a conversation with someone. These baby steps will help you change your level of comfort over time.\\nAnother example that people often struggle with is weight loss. Many people who feel that they need to lose weight are unhappy with their bodies as they are. However, accepting and loving your body as it is could actually help you lose weight.\\n2-3. Compliment yourself.\\nYou may suddenly feel great about yourself when someone tells you that you look amazing, or when a friend compliments an aspect of your personality. But the compliments will come and the compliments will go, and at the end of the day, your self-worth shouldn’t depend on what other people say about you, whether it’s good or bad. You should be able to accept compliments from others graciously—and genuinely believe them, but you should also get used to complimenting yourself.\\nYou can also work on giving other people compliments when it feels right. Feel good about making other people feel good.\\n2-4. Develop your confidence.\\nBeing confident is the key to feeling comfortable in your own skin, and it’s obviously easier said than done. Confidence comes from within, and developing your confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you have to bring to the table. If you can’t stand what you see in the mirror and feel like you have nothing to contribute to a conversation, then you can’t move forward. Work on finding at least a few things that you love about yourself, and with being happy with how you look instead of getting lost in self-consciousness.\\nDeveloping confidence takes a lifetime. But you can’t start until you make a commitment to start changing the way you feel about yourself.\\nMake a list of your positive attributes. You can add to the list every day, or a few times a week. If you do something that makes you feel good about yourself, add it to the list.\\n2-5. Keep a gratitude journal.\\nKeeping track of things and people for which you are grateful can have a profound effect on your life. The journal, and practicing gratitude generally, can help you feel happier and more confident about who you are. It helps your perspective become more positive, as it makes you focus more on the good things in your life.\\nEach day, write down at least one thing that you feel grateful for. When you're feeling down, take out your journal and read through it to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.\\n2-6. Think of yourself as a beautiful person.\\nIt’s great if your boyfriend, best friends, and everyone around you thinks you’re beautiful, but that doesn’t matter one bit if you’re convinced that you’re ugly. Even a supermodel can feel completely insecure and inadequate, and what you think on the inside is much more important than how people view you on the outside. Know that the first step to feeling beautiful is really thinking that you are beautiful, just as you are. If other people agree, then great, but in the end, it really makes no difference.\\nLook in the mirror and think, “Wow, my hair looks great today!” Or, “My eyes look pretty in this light.” Or, better yet, “I can see kindness in my smile and joy in my eyes.”\\nIf you start to think you’re beautiful, people will be able to sense that. And guess what? That will make you even more beautiful.\\n2-7. Honor your strengths.\\nEveryone has different strengths; the key to honoring yours is identifying them, then nurturing them. Keeping a positive focus on your strengths will help you maintain a positive outlook and feel more comfortable with who you are.\\n2-8. Meditate.\\nMeditating can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin because it will help you feel attuned to your body and your breath. Take 10-15 minutes a day to sit down in a comfortable place, and work on relaxing every part of your body one at a time. Focus on the sound and feeling of your breath rising in and out of your body and let all of the noise and worries of the day melt away. This will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with who you are, and will help you get rid of all of those distractions that can crowd your days.\\nMake a habit of meditating at least once or twice a day and you’ll quickly be able to see what a big difference it makes.\\nIf mediation works for you, you can also try yoga. Yoga also lets you focus on your mind and body and adds movement to your thinking.\\n3. Making Lifestyle Changes\\n3-1. Find your passion.\\nFinding something that you’re passionate about and allowing yourself to incorporate that passion into your life can help you feel happier and more confident. Find your passion by reflecting on your interests, identifying what makes you lose track of time, and thinking about the things you loved doing as a child.\\nIf you're not sure what your passion is, commit to writing down everything that makes you feel lit up or energized for a whole week. Don't leave anything out, no matter how small it is. At the end of the week, read over the list, and see if it gives you any insight into what makes you feel happy as a person.\\nOnce you have found a passion, work on it. If you think of passion as a muscle that needs working to strengthen, rather than as an object or a thing you find, you will more effectively develop your passion.\\n3-2. Dance.\\nDancing can help you take possession of your body, let loose, and feel comfortable with who you are. Various kinds of dancing in vastly different groups of people have consistently shown increased happiness and lower stress. This can translate into a boost in confidence.\\nNot sure where to start? Sign up for a beginner’s dance class. Don’t like classes? Close your curtains, crank up the music, and have a solo dance party in your home. Need guidance at home? Get a dance-based exercise DVD or find a YouTube video of a beginner dance class.\\n3-3. Get creative.\\nBeing creative can help you improve your self-worth, find feelings you didn’t know you had, and feel great about what you have to offer to the world. While it takes confidence to embrace creativity, creativity also boosts confidence. Even if you don’t think you’re the creative type, you may end up surprising yourself. Write a poem. Get some colored pencils and sketch a landscape. Take a ceramics class. Take an interpretive movement class. Try songwriting. Do something completely out of your comfort zone and see what you come up with. Getting creative will help you see the world in a new way and will make you more comfortable with who you are.\\nMake time for creativity in your life. If you’re stuck in a cycle of sleep, work, do household chores, repeat, you’re unlikely to feel fulfilled. Setting aside time for play and creativity can make you feel happier, which can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.\\n3-4. Exercise.\\nYou don’t need to have a six-pack or to be in top shape to put some time into exercise each week. Working out for just half an hour a day or an hour every other day will improve your mood, keep your heart strong, and make you feel better about the way you look and feel. Even taking a 20 minute walk every day can help you feel better about getting out of the house, and improve your mindset just by being in the fresh air.\\nChoose activity over inactivity whenever you can. Walk 15 minutes to the grocery store instead of driving. Walk to the fourth floor of your office building instead of taking the elevator. These small changes can make a big difference.\\nIf you find it hard to motivate yourself to work out on your own, take a yoga or barre class with a friend, or join a team sport. Exercise can be a social thing, too.\\n3-5. Make laughter a bigger part of your life.\\nAnyone can stand to laugh more. Whether you’re cracking jokes, hanging out with people who make you laugh, or watching at least one comedy a week, the more you laugh, the more comfortable you’ll feel about being yourself. You can feel happier and have less anxiety, which can lower your stress levels and improve your health. Smiling more has also been shown to improve your mood and make you laugh more readily.\\nWhen you’re truly laughing, you won’t be able to stop and doubt yourself. True laughter will make you embrace the moment and feel happy being yourself.\\nTips\\nGet a support system... friends or family who can know what you are trying to do and can be there to confident in if you have a hard time with your goals.\\nYour support system can also help you meet your goals by being able to offer advice to you that could help you meet your goals.\\nKeep yourself and your goals realistic and doable– this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…\\nWarnings\\nYou are going to have to step out of a normal routine that may make you uneasy but trust yourself and know that it is worth it!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you tend to hang back, stay quiet, and try not to put yourself out there? Don’t worry – plenty of people don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. But that can stop today. You have a lot to offer, and you have to start putting yourself out there if you want to see results. So how can you feel comfortable in your own skin? Just follow along to find out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embracing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace your unique qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling different from other people is normal. What’s difficult is accepting and embracing your differences and standing by who you are. Start by getting to really know yourself; what you like doing, what makes you feel happy, and what sets you apart from other people. Then work on accepting that other people may not always accept or understand those things, and that is okay.\\nThink of your unique qualities as some of your most important features. They are the things that make you who you are, and help you stand out as an individual.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, to shower daily, and to pay attention to hygiene. You may not feel comfortable in your own skin because you’re always feeling tired or unhappy with the way you feel. Taking the time to maintain your health can help you fix that. Take long baths. Pamper yourself. Make sure to eat three balanced meals a day. All of this will make you feel happier to be who you are, and happier about sharing that with the world.\\nTaking care of your body doesn’t mean putting on makeup and looking like a model when you leave the house. It just means giving your body the time and effort it deserves.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who make you feel good.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of embracing who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin is being around people who support you and make you feel good about yourself. Dump those toxic friends who are always bringing you down, being negative, and ignoring you in favor of their own narcissism. Work on hanging out with the people who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look confident to feel confident.\", \"描述\": \"People who aren’t comfortable in their own skin walk in to a room like they don’t belong there and tend to keep a low profile. The next time you walk into a room, keep your head high, smile, and sit in a chair like it’s your favorite comfy chair at home. Though you shouldn’t kick your feet up at a new person’s home, treat the place like your own living room, and be comfortable inhabiting a new space. People will be able to tell that you feel like you belong there, and like you’ve earned your place there.\\nIf you project confidence in a new situation, you’ll be much more likely to feel it. Some ways to show confidence in your body language include:\\nHolding your head high\\nStanding or sit tall with good posture\\nKeeping your shoulders back and your chest out\\nAvoiding fidgeting or tapping\\nRemaining open by not crossing your arms across your chest\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to love yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Truly loving yourself can take a lifetime, so why not start today? Be comfortable with the way you look, smell, sound, act, and react to situations. Work on finding a happiness from within and letting it radiate out. If you don’t love yourself, then it won’t matter how many other people do. It’s just like thinking that you’re beautiful – you have to feel it first before it matters if anyone else does. Give yourself enough “me time” to learn to really love the person you are, to do the things that matter to you, and to quiet your mind so you can focus on what’s right in front of you.\\nIf you’re feeling really overwhelmed by the world, give yourself a day of silence to avoid television, the Internet, your phone, or any other distractions. Focus on just inhabiting your own mind and body.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Perspective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think positively.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that some people are just naturally more positive than others. That’s not necessarily wrong, but don’t let negative thinking keep you from making a decision to be more positive. If you want to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, fight your negative thoughts with at least two or three positive ones. Make an effort to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and to expect good things to happen to you; the more you expect good things to happen, the more they will.\\nLet’s say you’re going to a party where you won’t know a lot of people. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m probably going to spend all of my time hanging out alone by the pita and hummus,” you should alter this negative thought. Instead tell yourself, “Maybe I’ll make a new friend tonight,” or “I’ll have a great time catching up with the few people I know.”\\nPositive thinking can help you feel happier and have less stress.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice acceptance and improvement.\", \"描述\": \"Accepting who you are does not mean that you have to give up on improving yourself. If there is an aspect of your life that you would like to change, then set goals for yourself to help you get there. You can work for change while still accepting where you are in the moment.\\nIf, for example, you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, accept that about yourself. Say “I am not always comfortable talking to new people, and that is okay.” Then set a goal for change. Your goal could be, “I will talk to someone I don’t know twice every week.” Next time you’re waiting for an elevator or standing in line at a store, strike up a conversation with someone. These baby steps will help you change your level of comfort over time.\\nAnother example that people often struggle with is weight loss. Many people who feel that they need to lose weight are unhappy with their bodies as they are. However, accepting and loving your body as it is could actually help you lose weight.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You may suddenly feel great about yourself when someone tells you that you look amazing, or when a friend compliments an aspect of your personality. But the compliments will come and the compliments will go, and at the end of the day, your self-worth shouldn’t depend on what other people say about you, whether it’s good or bad. You should be able to accept compliments from others graciously—and genuinely believe them, but you should also get used to complimenting yourself.\\nYou can also work on giving other people compliments when it feels right. Feel good about making other people feel good.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Being confident is the key to feeling comfortable in your own skin, and it’s obviously easier said than done. Confidence comes from within, and developing your confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you have to bring to the table. If you can’t stand what you see in the mirror and feel like you have nothing to contribute to a conversation, then you can’t move forward. Work on finding at least a few things that you love about yourself, and with being happy with how you look instead of getting lost in self-consciousness.\\nDeveloping confidence takes a lifetime. But you can’t start until you make a commitment to start changing the way you feel about yourself.\\nMake a list of your positive attributes. You can add to the list every day, or a few times a week. If you do something that makes you feel good about yourself, add it to the list.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep a gratitude journal.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping track of things and people for which you are grateful can have a profound effect on your life. The journal, and practicing gratitude generally, can help you feel happier and more confident about who you are. It helps your perspective become more positive, as it makes you focus more on the good things in your life.\\nEach day, write down at least one thing that you feel grateful for. When you're feeling down, take out your journal and read through it to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think of yourself as a beautiful person.\", \"描述\": \"It’s great if your boyfriend, best friends, and everyone around you thinks you’re beautiful, but that doesn’t matter one bit if you’re convinced that you’re ugly. Even a supermodel can feel completely insecure and inadequate, and what you think on the inside is much more important than how people view you on the outside. Know that the first step to feeling beautiful is really thinking that you are beautiful, just as you are. If other people agree, then great, but in the end, it really makes no difference.\\nLook in the mirror and think, “Wow, my hair looks great today!” Or, “My eyes look pretty in this light.” Or, better yet, “I can see kindness in my smile and joy in my eyes.”\\nIf you start to think you’re beautiful, people will be able to sense that. And guess what? That will make you even more beautiful.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Honor your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has different strengths; the key to honoring yours is identifying them, then nurturing them. Keeping a positive focus on your strengths will help you maintain a positive outlook and feel more comfortable with who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Meditate.\", \"描述\": \"Meditating can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin because it will help you feel attuned to your body and your breath. Take 10-15 minutes a day to sit down in a comfortable place, and work on relaxing every part of your body one at a time. Focus on the sound and feeling of your breath rising in and out of your body and let all of the noise and worries of the day melt away. This will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with who you are, and will help you get rid of all of those distractions that can crowd your days.\\nMake a habit of meditating at least once or twice a day and you’ll quickly be able to see what a big difference it makes.\\nIf mediation works for you, you can also try yoga. Yoga also lets you focus on your mind and body and adds movement to your thinking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Lifestyle Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find your passion.\", \"描述\": \"Finding something that you’re passionate about and allowing yourself to incorporate that passion into your life can help you feel happier and more confident. Find your passion by reflecting on your interests, identifying what makes you lose track of time, and thinking about the things you loved doing as a child.\\nIf you're not sure what your passion is, commit to writing down everything that makes you feel lit up or energized for a whole week. Don't leave anything out, no matter how small it is. At the end of the week, read over the list, and see if it gives you any insight into what makes you feel happy as a person.\\nOnce you have found a passion, work on it. If you think of passion as a muscle that needs working to strengthen, rather than as an object or a thing you find, you will more effectively develop your passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dance.\", \"描述\": \"Dancing can help you take possession of your body, let loose, and feel comfortable with who you are. Various kinds of dancing in vastly different groups of people have consistently shown increased happiness and lower stress. This can translate into a boost in confidence.\\nNot sure where to start? Sign up for a beginner’s dance class. Don’t like classes? Close your curtains, crank up the music, and have a solo dance party in your home. Need guidance at home? Get a dance-based exercise DVD or find a YouTube video of a beginner dance class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get creative.\", \"描述\": \"Being creative can help you improve your self-worth, find feelings you didn’t know you had, and feel great about what you have to offer to the world. While it takes confidence to embrace creativity, creativity also boosts confidence. Even if you don’t think you’re the creative type, you may end up surprising yourself. Write a poem. Get some colored pencils and sketch a landscape. Take a ceramics class. Take an interpretive movement class. Try songwriting. Do something completely out of your comfort zone and see what you come up with. Getting creative will help you see the world in a new way and will make you more comfortable with who you are.\\nMake time for creativity in your life. If you’re stuck in a cycle of sleep, work, do household chores, repeat, you’re unlikely to feel fulfilled. Setting aside time for play and creativity can make you feel happier, which can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to have a six-pack or to be in top shape to put some time into exercise each week. Working out for just half an hour a day or an hour every other day will improve your mood, keep your heart strong, and make you feel better about the way you look and feel. Even taking a 20 minute walk every day can help you feel better about getting out of the house, and improve your mindset just by being in the fresh air.\\nChoose activity over inactivity whenever you can. Walk 15 minutes to the grocery store instead of driving. Walk to the fourth floor of your office building instead of taking the elevator. These small changes can make a big difference.\\nIf you find it hard to motivate yourself to work out on your own, take a yoga or barre class with a friend, or join a team sport. Exercise can be a social thing, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make laughter a bigger part of your life.\", \"描述\": \"Anyone can stand to laugh more. Whether you’re cracking jokes, hanging out with people who make you laugh, or watching at least one comedy a week, the more you laugh, the more comfortable you’ll feel about being yourself. You can feel happier and have less anxiety, which can lower your stress levels and improve your health. Smiling more has also been shown to improve your mood and make you laugh more readily.\\nWhen you’re truly laughing, you won’t be able to stop and doubt yourself. True laughter will make you embrace the moment and feel happy being yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Get a support system... friends or family who can know what you are trying to do and can be there to confident in if you have a hard time with your goals.\\n\", \"Your support system can also help you meet your goals by being able to offer advice to you that could help you meet your goals.\\n\", \"Keep yourself and your goals realistic and doable– this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You are going to have to step out of a normal routine that may make you uneasy but trust yourself and know that it is worth it!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,621 | How to Be Comfortable on Your Period | 1. Using Medication to Treat Cramps
1-1. Recognize menstrual cramp symptoms.
Menstrual cramps, or dysmenorrhea, are throbbing pains in your lower abdomen. They result from the uterus' strong contractions. Many people have cramps before and during their periods. Menstrual pain symptoms include:
Intense, throbbing pain in your lower abdomen
Dull, constant ache in your abdomen
Pain that radiates to your lower back and thighs
Nausea
Loose stools
Headache
Dizziness
1-2. Take pain relievers.
Begin taking the pain reliever at the beginning of your period or when you feel menstrual cramp symptoms. Continue taking the medication as indicated on the packaging (or by your doctor) for 2 to 3 days. You also may stop taking medication if your cramps subside. There are many options available for pain relievers:
Over-the-counter pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, etc.) or naproxen sodium (Aleve) can help relieve your cramps.
The menstrual pain reliever Midol contains the pain reliever acetaminophen plus the stimulant caffeine and antihistamine pyrilamine maleate. Midol works to decrease menstrual pains, headaches, and bloating.
1-3. Use birth control.
If your cramps do not subside with pain killers, talk to your doctor about hormonal birth control pills. These pills contain hormones that prevent ovulation and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps. You can also receive hormones in other forms including via injection, an arm implant, a skin patch, a vaginal ring, or an intrauterine device (IUD). All these methods can reduce your cramps. Talk to your doctor about which is right for you.
1-4. Talk to your doctor about stronger options.
If over-the-counter pain relievers don't work for you, you can talk to your doctor about prescription-strength nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). If your menstrual pain is extreme, talk to your doctor about tranexamic acid (Lysteda). This prescription drug is taken to reduce heavy bleeding and severe cramps. You only need to take it during your menstrual cycle.
2. Treating Cramps Naturally
2-1. Use heat.
Heat can be just as effective at beating your cramps as pain medication. Heat helps relax your contracting muscles. You can apply heat to your abdomen directly or submerge your body in a bath. The key is to bring heat to your abdomen and torso. Consider the following methods:
Soak in a hot bath. Put two to four cups of Epsom salt in your bath. This can help decrease pain.
Place a heating pad on your abdomen.
Use a hot water bottle. Be sure to put a covering on the bottle before placing it directly on your skin.
Purchase a heat patch for your abdomen. Some companies like ThermaCare sell special heat patches that stick to your abdomen. You can wear these products at school or work under your clothing for up to eight hours of comfort.
Fill a clean sock with rice or beans. You can also add a few drops of an essential oil, such as lavender or peppermint. Sew or tie the open end shut. Microwave the sock for 30 seconds at a time and use as a compress.
2-2. Get your vitamins.
Vitamin E, vitamin B-1 (thiamine), vitamin B-6, and magnesium can reduce menstrual cramps greatly. Check to see what the vitamin contents are in the foods you buy. Read the labels. If you are not getting enough of these vitamins, buy healthier foods like salmon. Also, consider taking a daily supplement. Speak with your doctor before taking any new dietary supplements.
Vitamin E: The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for adult women is 15mg (22.4 IU) daily.
Vitamin B-1: The RDA for adult women is 1mg (14-18 years) or 1.1mg (19+ years) daily.
Vitamin B-6: The RDA for adult women is 1.2mg (14-18 years) or 1.3 mg (19-50 years) daily.
Magnesium: The RDA for adult women is 360mg (14-18 years), 310mg (19-30 years), or 320mg (31-50 years) daily.
2-3. Consume omega-3 fatty acids.
You can get these heart-healthy fatty acids via supplement, or eat foods high in them. Fish, leafy green vegetables, nuts, flaxseeds, and vegetable oils such as canola oil are good sources of omega-3 fatty acids.
3. Making Yourself Comfortable
3-1. Wear loose-fitting clothing.
The key to being comfortable during your period is to keep your stomach area free from constriction. Wear pants, dresses, or skirts that are not too tight. Avoid control-top pantyhose that will compress your abdomen. Flowing maxi dresses, for example, can be ideal.
3-2. Be prepared.
Be sure to have plentiful pads, tampons, or any other needed menstrual hygiene items with you when on the go. Especially in the early years of your period, it is wise to have a backup pair of underwear with you. Bring a few pain relievers with you too. You will be more comfortable if you know you can handle an emergency.
If you are having a heavy period, visit the bathroom more often to check for leaks or whether you need to change your products.
3-3. Gather your favorite healthy snacks.
If you are feeling unwell, it is okay to reward yourself with healthy favorite snacks. Choose food in its natural state like a fresh banana instead of a banana pudding. Avoid excessively fatty foods like French fries. These foods can make your period worse.
Soy milk can help reduce menstrual pain.
Eat calcium-rich foods like beans, almonds, spinach, and kale.
Eat foods high in antioxidants, including blueberries, cherries, tomatoes, squash, and bell pepper.
4. Being Healthy and Active
4-1. Exercise.
Studies show that physical activity can ease menstrual cramp pain. Taking a brisk walk, light jog, or swim can help your cramps. There is no need to work out too hard during your period. Doing some exercise, though, can make you feel fitter and happier.
4-2. Avoid alcohol and tobacco.
These substances can worsen menstrual cramps. Alcohol can leave you feeling dehydrated. In any case, do not use alcohol in conjunction with painkillers.
4-3. Stay hydrated.
Drink at least 9 cups (2.2 liters) of filtered water daily. Your body is losing fluid and blood during menstruation. By staying hydrated, your body will feel less weak and you will be more energetic. Beverages with electrolytes, like sports drinks or coconut water, also can help you feel better. Coconut water has more potassium than a banana and is a great natural source of hydration.
4-4. Reduce stress.
Psychological stress can increase the severity of your cramps. Consider doing yoga exercises to calm your body. Stretching also can help alleviate your cramps.
4-5. Realize your period is normal.
About half the population will menstruate during their lifetime. It is a completely healthy, natural process. Do not be ashamed of your period. You can live life normally during menstruation. If you feel uncomfortable about having your period, talk to a trusted friend or adult.
Tips
If you want, make your own period kit to store your products just in case.
If you are worried about leakages, try using period panties. It is good for heavy flows because it will prevent you from leaking to your pants or shorts; plus, it is breathable so it is safe and much more comfortable.
Remember to practice good hygiene by changing your menstrual product often and washing your hands with soap and warm water after you change your product.
Warnings
If you are having a really bad cramps, consult your doctor.
If a disorder like endometriosis or fibroids makes your cramps worse, surgery can correct the problem. In severe cases, for older people who have already explored other options, there is the option of hysterectomy, the surgical removal of the uterus, but you must have either had children or plan to not have children. In most cases, it is not an option for younger people, but your doctor is the best source of advice on such a procedure.[28]
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| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Medication to Treat Cramps\\n1-1. Recognize menstrual cramp symptoms.\\nMenstrual cramps, or dysmenorrhea, are throbbing pains in your lower abdomen. They result from the uterus' strong contractions. Many people have cramps before and during their periods. Menstrual pain symptoms include:\\nIntense, throbbing pain in your lower abdomen\\nDull, constant ache in your abdomen\\nPain that radiates to your lower back and thighs\\nNausea\\nLoose stools\\nHeadache\\nDizziness\\n1-2. Take pain relievers.\\nBegin taking the pain reliever at the beginning of your period or when you feel menstrual cramp symptoms. Continue taking the medication as indicated on the packaging (or by your doctor) for 2 to 3 days. You also may stop taking medication if your cramps subside. There are many options available for pain relievers:\\nOver-the-counter pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, etc.) or naproxen sodium (Aleve) can help relieve your cramps.\\nThe menstrual pain reliever Midol contains the pain reliever acetaminophen plus the stimulant caffeine and antihistamine pyrilamine maleate. Midol works to decrease menstrual pains, headaches, and bloating.\\n1-3. Use birth control.\\nIf your cramps do not subside with pain killers, talk to your doctor about hormonal birth control pills. These pills contain hormones that prevent ovulation and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps. You can also receive hormones in other forms including via injection, an arm implant, a skin patch, a vaginal ring, or an intrauterine device (IUD). All these methods can reduce your cramps. Talk to your doctor about which is right for you.\\n1-4. Talk to your doctor about stronger options.\\nIf over-the-counter pain relievers don't work for you, you can talk to your doctor about prescription-strength nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). If your menstrual pain is extreme, talk to your doctor about tranexamic acid (Lysteda). This prescription drug is taken to reduce heavy bleeding and severe cramps. You only need to take it during your menstrual cycle.\\n2. Treating Cramps Naturally\\n2-1. Use heat.\\nHeat can be just as effective at beating your cramps as pain medication. Heat helps relax your contracting muscles. You can apply heat to your abdomen directly or submerge your body in a bath. The key is to bring heat to your abdomen and torso. Consider the following methods:\\nSoak in a hot bath. Put two to four cups of Epsom salt in your bath. This can help decrease pain.\\nPlace a heating pad on your abdomen.\\nUse a hot water bottle. Be sure to put a covering on the bottle before placing it directly on your skin.\\nPurchase a heat patch for your abdomen. Some companies like ThermaCare sell special heat patches that stick to your abdomen. You can wear these products at school or work under your clothing for up to eight hours of comfort.\\nFill a clean sock with rice or beans. You can also add a few drops of an essential oil, such as lavender or peppermint. Sew or tie the open end shut. Microwave the sock for 30 seconds at a time and use as a compress.\\n2-2. Get your vitamins.\\nVitamin E, vitamin B-1 (thiamine), vitamin B-6, and magnesium can reduce menstrual cramps greatly. Check to see what the vitamin contents are in the foods you buy. Read the labels. If you are not getting enough of these vitamins, buy healthier foods like salmon. Also, consider taking a daily supplement. Speak with your doctor before taking any new dietary supplements.\\nVitamin E: The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for adult women is 15mg (22.4 IU) daily.\\nVitamin B-1: The RDA for adult women is 1mg (14-18 years) or 1.1mg (19+ years) daily.\\nVitamin B-6: The RDA for adult women is 1.2mg (14-18 years) or 1.3 mg (19-50 years) daily.\\nMagnesium: The RDA for adult women is 360mg (14-18 years), 310mg (19-30 years), or 320mg (31-50 years) daily.\\n2-3. Consume omega-3 fatty acids.\\nYou can get these heart-healthy fatty acids via supplement, or eat foods high in them. Fish, leafy green vegetables, nuts, flaxseeds, and vegetable oils such as canola oil are good sources of omega-3 fatty acids.\\n3. Making Yourself Comfortable\\n3-1. Wear loose-fitting clothing.\\nThe key to being comfortable during your period is to keep your stomach area free from constriction. Wear pants, dresses, or skirts that are not too tight. Avoid control-top pantyhose that will compress your abdomen. Flowing maxi dresses, for example, can be ideal.\\n3-2. Be prepared.\\nBe sure to have plentiful pads, tampons, or any other needed menstrual hygiene items with you when on the go. Especially in the early years of your period, it is wise to have a backup pair of underwear with you. Bring a few pain relievers with you too. You will be more comfortable if you know you can handle an emergency.\\nIf you are having a heavy period, visit the bathroom more often to check for leaks or whether you need to change your products.\\n3-3. Gather your favorite healthy snacks.\\nIf you are feeling unwell, it is okay to reward yourself with healthy favorite snacks. Choose food in its natural state like a fresh banana instead of a banana pudding. Avoid excessively fatty foods like French fries. These foods can make your period worse.\\nSoy milk can help reduce menstrual pain.\\nEat calcium-rich foods like beans, almonds, spinach, and kale.\\nEat foods high in antioxidants, including blueberries, cherries, tomatoes, squash, and bell pepper.\\n4. Being Healthy and Active\\n4-1. Exercise.\\nStudies show that physical activity can ease menstrual cramp pain. Taking a brisk walk, light jog, or swim can help your cramps. There is no need to work out too hard during your period. Doing some exercise, though, can make you feel fitter and happier.\\n4-2. Avoid alcohol and tobacco.\\nThese substances can worsen menstrual cramps. Alcohol can leave you feeling dehydrated. In any case, do not use alcohol in conjunction with painkillers.\\n4-3. Stay hydrated.\\nDrink at least 9 cups (2.2 liters) of filtered water daily. Your body is losing fluid and blood during menstruation. By staying hydrated, your body will feel less weak and you will be more energetic. Beverages with electrolytes, like sports drinks or coconut water, also can help you feel better. Coconut water has more potassium than a banana and is a great natural source of hydration.\\n4-4. Reduce stress.\\nPsychological stress can increase the severity of your cramps. Consider doing yoga exercises to calm your body. Stretching also can help alleviate your cramps.\\n4-5. Realize your period is normal.\\nAbout half the population will menstruate during their lifetime. It is a completely healthy, natural process. Do not be ashamed of your period. You can live life normally during menstruation. If you feel uncomfortable about having your period, talk to a trusted friend or adult.\\nTips\\nIf you want, make your own period kit to store your products just in case.\\nIf you are worried about leakages, try using period panties. It is good for heavy flows because it will prevent you from leaking to your pants or shorts; plus, it is breathable so it is safe and much more comfortable.\\nRemember to practice good hygiene by changing your menstrual product often and washing your hands with soap and warm water after you change your product.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are having a really bad cramps, consult your doctor.\\nIf a disorder like endometriosis or fibroids makes your cramps worse, surgery can correct the problem. In severe cases, for older people who have already explored other options, there is the option of hysterectomy, the surgical removal of the uterus, but you must have either had children or plan to not have children. In most cases, it is not an option for younger people, but your doctor is the best source of advice on such a procedure.[28]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Studies show that when you're on your period, you may experience bloating, cramps, fatigue, bowel pain, and headaches. If you have ovaries and a uterus, you will most likely get your period every 21 to 35 days, unless you are pregnant or have underlying health conditions that affect your cycle. While you may experience some degree of discomfort, experts note that there are ways to relieve your pain and treat the symptoms of your period as they happen.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Medication to Treat Cramps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize menstrual cramp symptoms.\", \"描述\": \"Menstrual cramps, or dysmenorrhea, are throbbing pains in your lower abdomen. They result from the uterus' strong contractions. Many people have cramps before and during their periods. Menstrual pain symptoms include:\\nIntense, throbbing pain in your lower abdomen\\nDull, constant ache in your abdomen\\nPain that radiates to your lower back and thighs\\nNausea\\nLoose stools\\nHeadache\\nDizziness\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take pain relievers.\", \"描述\": \"Begin taking the pain reliever at the beginning of your period or when you feel menstrual cramp symptoms. Continue taking the medication as indicated on the packaging (or by your doctor) for 2 to 3 days. You also may stop taking medication if your cramps subside. There are many options available for pain relievers:\\nOver-the-counter pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, etc.) or naproxen sodium (Aleve) can help relieve your cramps.\\nThe menstrual pain reliever Midol contains the pain reliever acetaminophen plus the stimulant caffeine and antihistamine pyrilamine maleate. Midol works to decrease menstrual pains, headaches, and bloating.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use birth control.\", \"描述\": \"If your cramps do not subside with pain killers, talk to your doctor about hormonal birth control pills. These pills contain hormones that prevent ovulation and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps. You can also receive hormones in other forms including via injection, an arm implant, a skin patch, a vaginal ring, or an intrauterine device (IUD). All these methods can reduce your cramps. Talk to your doctor about which is right for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your doctor about stronger options.\", \"描述\": \"If over-the-counter pain relievers don't work for you, you can talk to your doctor about prescription-strength nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). If your menstrual pain is extreme, talk to your doctor about tranexamic acid (Lysteda). This prescription drug is taken to reduce heavy bleeding and severe cramps. You only need to take it during your menstrual cycle.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treating Cramps Naturally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use heat.\", \"描述\": \"Heat can be just as effective at beating your cramps as pain medication. Heat helps relax your contracting muscles. You can apply heat to your abdomen directly or submerge your body in a bath. The key is to bring heat to your abdomen and torso. Consider the following methods:\\nSoak in a hot bath. Put two to four cups of Epsom salt in your bath. This can help decrease pain.\\nPlace a heating pad on your abdomen.\\nUse a hot water bottle. Be sure to put a covering on the bottle before placing it directly on your skin.\\nPurchase a heat patch for your abdomen. Some companies like ThermaCare sell special heat patches that stick to your abdomen. You can wear these products at school or work under your clothing for up to eight hours of comfort.\\nFill a clean sock with rice or beans. You can also add a few drops of an essential oil, such as lavender or peppermint. Sew or tie the open end shut. Microwave the sock for 30 seconds at a time and use as a compress.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get your vitamins.\", \"描述\": \"Vitamin E, vitamin B-1 (thiamine), vitamin B-6, and magnesium can reduce menstrual cramps greatly. Check to see what the vitamin contents are in the foods you buy. Read the labels. If you are not getting enough of these vitamins, buy healthier foods like salmon. Also, consider taking a daily supplement. Speak with your doctor before taking any new dietary supplements.\\nVitamin E: The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for adult women is 15mg (22.4 IU) daily.\\nVitamin B-1: The RDA for adult women is 1mg (14-18 years) or 1.1mg (19+ years) daily.\\nVitamin B-6: The RDA for adult women is 1.2mg (14-18 years) or 1.3 mg (19-50 years) daily.\\nMagnesium: The RDA for adult women is 360mg (14-18 years), 310mg (19-30 years), or 320mg (31-50 years) daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consume omega-3 fatty acids.\", \"描述\": \"You can get these heart-healthy fatty acids via supplement, or eat foods high in them. Fish, leafy green vegetables, nuts, flaxseeds, and vegetable oils such as canola oil are good sources of omega-3 fatty acids.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Yourself Comfortable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear loose-fitting clothing.\", \"描述\": \"The key to being comfortable during your period is to keep your stomach area free from constriction. Wear pants, dresses, or skirts that are not too tight. Avoid control-top pantyhose that will compress your abdomen. Flowing maxi dresses, for example, can be ideal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be prepared.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to have plentiful pads, tampons, or any other needed menstrual hygiene items with you when on the go. Especially in the early years of your period, it is wise to have a backup pair of underwear with you. Bring a few pain relievers with you too. You will be more comfortable if you know you can handle an emergency.\\nIf you are having a heavy period, visit the bathroom more often to check for leaks or whether you need to change your products.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gather your favorite healthy snacks.\", \"描述\": \"If you are feeling unwell, it is okay to reward yourself with healthy favorite snacks. Choose food in its natural state like a fresh banana instead of a banana pudding. Avoid excessively fatty foods like French fries. These foods can make your period worse.\\nSoy milk can help reduce menstrual pain.\\nEat calcium-rich foods like beans, almonds, spinach, and kale.\\nEat foods high in antioxidants, including blueberries, cherries, tomatoes, squash, and bell pepper.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Healthy and Active\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that physical activity can ease menstrual cramp pain. Taking a brisk walk, light jog, or swim can help your cramps. There is no need to work out too hard during your period. Doing some exercise, though, can make you feel fitter and happier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid alcohol and tobacco.\", \"描述\": \"These substances can worsen menstrual cramps. Alcohol can leave you feeling dehydrated. In any case, do not use alcohol in conjunction with painkillers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay hydrated.\", \"描述\": \"Drink at least 9 cups (2.2 liters) of filtered water daily. Your body is losing fluid and blood during menstruation. By staying hydrated, your body will feel less weak and you will be more energetic. Beverages with electrolytes, like sports drinks or coconut water, also can help you feel better. Coconut water has more potassium than a banana and is a great natural source of hydration.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce stress.\", \"描述\": \"Psychological stress can increase the severity of your cramps. Consider doing yoga exercises to calm your body. Stretching also can help alleviate your cramps.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Realize your period is normal.\", \"描述\": \"About half the population will menstruate during their lifetime. It is a completely healthy, natural process. Do not be ashamed of your period. You can live life normally during menstruation. If you feel uncomfortable about having your period, talk to a trusted friend or adult.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you want, make your own period kit to store your products just in case.\\n\", \"If you are worried about leakages, try using period panties. It is good for heavy flows because it will prevent you from leaking to your pants or shorts; plus, it is breathable so it is safe and much more comfortable.\\n\", \"Remember to practice good hygiene by changing your menstrual product often and washing your hands with soap and warm water after you change your product.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are having a really bad cramps, consult your doctor.\\n\", \"If a disorder like endometriosis or fibroids makes your cramps worse, surgery can correct the problem. In severe cases, for older people who have already explored other options, there is the option of hysterectomy, the surgical removal of the uterus, but you must have either had children or plan to not have children. In most cases, it is not an option for younger people, but your doctor is the best source of advice on such a procedure.[28]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,622 | How to Be Comfortable on a Long Airplane Trip | 1. Maximizing Your Space and Physical Comfort
1-1. Reserve a good seat if you can.
Check ahead with your airline to see if you can snag a comfortable seat on the flight. Even within the same class and fare, some seats are far superior to others. Consider an aisle or exit row seat for added legroom, or a window if you want to lean against the wall and sleep. Try to avoid seats near the toilets/lavatories, as other passengers will be accessing these regularly.
Bulkhead seats are also a good option if you need extra legroom. These are seats positioned behind dividing walls, screens, or curtains, with no other seats directly in front of them.
Remember to never choose an exit row seat if you will have an infant or small child with you, since this could make it more difficult for you to open the exit door in case of an emergency.
Some airlines allow you to pay a little extra to get a better seat, even if you aren’t going first class or business class. These options may have names like “Economy Plus” or “Even More Space.”
1-2. Minimize your carry-on luggage.
If you’re overwhelmed with luggage, getting comfortable on the plane may be difficult. Check with your airline ahead of time to find out about their check-through and carry-on policies, and bring only the absolute essentials onto the plane with you. One backpack is fine for the plane, and it is easier to find a place in the overhead bins or under the seat for a small backpack than for a larger roller bag.
Many airlines will allow you to bring one carry-on bag per passenger, plus a “personal item” such as a purse or diaper bag.
Check with your airline to make sure your carry-on luggage meets their size and weight requirements.
1-3. Dress comfortably for the flight.
Wearing tight or uncomfortable clothing can make a long flight miserable. Dress in loose, cozy clothes and comfortable shoes, and make sure to bring at least one layer (like a sweater or zip-up hoodie) in case it gets cold on the plane.
Compression socks or stockings can help improve circulation in your legs and prevent inflammation and blood clots when you have to sit in one position for hours at a time.
1-4. Bring a pillow if you plan to sleep.
Trying to sleep in an airplane seat without extra head support can result in lots of frustration and neck pain. Take a travel pillow or head restraint, and try to avoid using the inflatable ones unless you know you will be comfortable.
If you don’t already have a travel pillow, you can purchase one at a shop in most airports.
Some airlines offer their own pillows for long flights, but they may charge extra for them. Check ahead of time to find out if your airline provides in-flight pillows and blankets.
Since planes can get cold, you may also wish to bring a small throw or travel blanket.
1-5. Have a few hygiene essentials on hand.
Take a hairbrush, toothbrush, lip balm, and anything else that you need to help you freshen up before you land. Facial wipes are also a great for helping you feel clean and refreshed.
Be courteous to your fellow passengers by stepping into the bathroom before you brush your teeth or freshen up your deodorant!
Check airport security regulations before packing any liquids or gels in your carry-on luggage. You can safely travel with most liquid or gel products if they are in containers no larger than 3.4 fluid ounces (100 mL).
2. Staying Active and Entertained
2-1. Move around as much as possible during the flight.
This is especially important on longer flights to prevent aches, poor circulation, and potentially dangerous conditions like deep vein thrombosis. Some airlines provide guidance on in-seat exercises you can do (such as ankle circles or arm stretches). The long mid-flight stretch on overnight flights is an excellent time to take a stroll up and down the aisle a few times.
There may be room to do stretches at the back of some airplane cabins.
Before getting up and walking around, wait until your flight crew tells you it is safe to do so.
Participate in the in-flight exercise video, should your flight provide one. These are designed to help improve circulation and reduce fatigue.
2-2. Go with an airline that offers in-flight entertainment.
Many airlines show in-flight movies or have a variety of radio stations that you can listen to by plugging headphones into the jack on your seat. Some flights have TV screens built into the back of each seat that display movies, TV shows, and flight information. These can be very useful for helping the time pass quickly. Check ahead with your airline to find out what in-flight entertainment options they offer.
If your airline offers A.V.O.D. (Audio Video on Demand), you can pay extra to watch premium content or play games on your screen during the flight. But be careful—this can get expensive!
2-3. Take something to entertain yourself.
Usually, in-flight movies don't start for some time, and the built-in music/movie selections can be quite poor. Bring a device, such as a tablet, computer, or portable DVD or Blu-ray player, with some of your favorite movies, music, podcasts, or e-books on it. You could also take a new book that you like or portable game.
Make sure to charge all your electronic devices before getting on the plane.
Some airlines offer free Wi-Fi so that you can browse the internet on your devices during the flight.
Always have a couple of recent magazines with you. Pick out some magazines at the airport before you leave. That way, you won’t be stuck reading the in-flight magazines!
Other good entertainment options include crossword puzzles, sudoku, or adult coloring books. If you’re crafty or artistic, you might bring a sketch pad or a knitting project.
2-4. Pack your own headphones.
The headphones typically available on the plane (whether for purchase or for free) are usually of poor quality. Noise-canceling headphones and in-ear headphones are great if you have them, and can help block out engine noise and chatter from other passengers.
If you’re just looking to block out noise, some simple earplugs are also a good option.
2-5. Resist the urge to watch the time during the flight.
You can't do anything about how long the flight is taking, and it will feel even longer if you keep looking at the time. Don't check your watch regularly, and avoid looking at the in-flight map showing the current position of the plane.
If you feel the urge to check the time, try distracting yourself with an entertaining activity instead.
3. Getting Enough Rest and Nourishment
3-1. Do relaxation exercises if you feel tense.
If you feel nervous, irritable, or claustrophobic, try using some relaxation techniques to put you at ease. Do some deep breathing, meditation, or a few simple yoga poses you can do in your seat.
Do an online search for “in-flight yoga poses” to find stretches you can do in a confined space.
Listening to peaceful music, reading, or doing a little doodling or coloring can also help.
If you get extremely tense or scared on flights, talk to your doctor or a counselor. They may be able to recommend coping strategies or even prescribe medications that can help.
3-2. Try to find a comfortable sleeping position.
If you brought a pillow, put it on the tray in front of you and rest on that. If you have a window seat, leaning against the wall or window can be much more comfortable than leaning back. If leaning on the wall isn’t an option, recline your seat as far as possible to make leaning back more comfortable.
Use caution and courtesy when leaning your seat back. Ask the passenger behind you if you can safely lean back so that they don’t end up with crushed knees or a lap full of coffee.
If you are traveling with friends, parents, or other family members, you can lean on them to sleep.
Avoid drinking caffeinated beverages on the flight. These can not only make sleep more difficult, but may also have you scrambling for the bathroom multiple times during your flight.
Bring an eye mask so that you can block out excess light while you’re trying to sleep.
3-3. Check into your meal options ahead of time.
While most domestic flights in the U.S. no longer offer free meals, some airlines do provide free snacks. Some also offer a menu with a variety of foods and beverages you can purchase in-flight. Contact your airline in advance to find out what kinds of in-flight meals and snacks they offer.
If you are taking an international flight or flying outside the U.S., you may have a choice of complementary in-flight meals and snacks.
Many airlines offer vegetarian, Kosher, Halal and other "special" meals if you order up to 2 or 3 days in advance. Because the airlines have to specially prepare your meal, it is usually better than the standard food fare. Plus, passengers with special meal requests are almost always served first.
3-4. Take some sweets or other snacks with you.
Many airlines don’t provide enough food during long flights, and the food that’s available may be unhealthy, unpleasant, or expensive. If you’ve checked ahead and aren’t crazy about your in-flight options, bring along a few snacks, like some granola bars or pieces of fruit.
Protein bars are particularly helpful if you are on a long flight. Most airline meals tend to be low in protein and high in carbohydrates.
Before your flight, check some travel websites, such as TripAdvisor, and look through the reviews to help you decide if you should bring your own food.
3-5. Stay hydrated during the flight.
It’s easy to get dehydrated during a long flight, and the dry air on the plane can contribute to your discomfort. Although you can request water from your flight attendants, it is a good idea to take plenty of water on board with you. You can either purchase bottled water once you pass through security or bring an empty bottle with you to fill from a water fountain.
Remember that you should never drink the water from airplane bathrooms. This water isn’t of drinking quality.
Use eye drops whenever your eyes feel dry. You can purchase eye drops from an airline shop or bring in a bottle small enough to meet airline security requirements.
Bring an airline security-approved bottle of saline nasal gel or spray to keep your nasal passages from becoming dry during the flight. This can also help decongest you and prevent sinus and ear pain during takeoff and landing.
Take lip balm in a 3 fluid ounces (89 mL) or smaller container and use it to protect your lips from becoming painfully dry. Bring a small container of hand lotion or cocoa butter if your skin dries easily.
Tips
Try to obtain a seat on the aisle if you need to use the restroom a lot.
If your ears tend to get clogged during takeoff and landing, bring a little chewing gum. Chewing can help encourage your ears to pop. You can also try taking an antihistamine medication before your flight.
Go to the bathroom right before you board the plane. This will decrease the chances that you will have to go during the flight.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Maximizing Your Space and Physical Comfort\\n1-1. Reserve a good seat if you can.\\nCheck ahead with your airline to see if you can snag a comfortable seat on the flight. Even within the same class and fare, some seats are far superior to others. Consider an aisle or exit row seat for added legroom, or a window if you want to lean against the wall and sleep. Try to avoid seats near the toilets/lavatories, as other passengers will be accessing these regularly.\\nBulkhead seats are also a good option if you need extra legroom. These are seats positioned behind dividing walls, screens, or curtains, with no other seats directly in front of them.\\nRemember to never choose an exit row seat if you will have an infant or small child with you, since this could make it more difficult for you to open the exit door in case of an emergency.\\nSome airlines allow you to pay a little extra to get a better seat, even if you aren’t going first class or business class. These options may have names like “Economy Plus” or “Even More Space.”\\n1-2. Minimize your carry-on luggage.\\nIf you’re overwhelmed with luggage, getting comfortable on the plane may be difficult. Check with your airline ahead of time to find out about their check-through and carry-on policies, and bring only the absolute essentials onto the plane with you. One backpack is fine for the plane, and it is easier to find a place in the overhead bins or under the seat for a small backpack than for a larger roller bag.\\nMany airlines will allow you to bring one carry-on bag per passenger, plus a “personal item” such as a purse or diaper bag.\\nCheck with your airline to make sure your carry-on luggage meets their size and weight requirements.\\n1-3. Dress comfortably for the flight.\\nWearing tight or uncomfortable clothing can make a long flight miserable. Dress in loose, cozy clothes and comfortable shoes, and make sure to bring at least one layer (like a sweater or zip-up hoodie) in case it gets cold on the plane.\\nCompression socks or stockings can help improve circulation in your legs and prevent inflammation and blood clots when you have to sit in one position for hours at a time.\\n1-4. Bring a pillow if you plan to sleep.\\nTrying to sleep in an airplane seat without extra head support can result in lots of frustration and neck pain. Take a travel pillow or head restraint, and try to avoid using the inflatable ones unless you know you will be comfortable.\\nIf you don’t already have a travel pillow, you can purchase one at a shop in most airports.\\nSome airlines offer their own pillows for long flights, but they may charge extra for them. Check ahead of time to find out if your airline provides in-flight pillows and blankets.\\nSince planes can get cold, you may also wish to bring a small throw or travel blanket.\\n1-5. Have a few hygiene essentials on hand.\\nTake a hairbrush, toothbrush, lip balm, and anything else that you need to help you freshen up before you land. Facial wipes are also a great for helping you feel clean and refreshed.\\nBe courteous to your fellow passengers by stepping into the bathroom before you brush your teeth or freshen up your deodorant!\\nCheck airport security regulations before packing any liquids or gels in your carry-on luggage. You can safely travel with most liquid or gel products if they are in containers no larger than 3.4 fluid ounces (100 mL).\\n2. Staying Active and Entertained\\n2-1. Move around as much as possible during the flight.\\nThis is especially important on longer flights to prevent aches, poor circulation, and potentially dangerous conditions like deep vein thrombosis. Some airlines provide guidance on in-seat exercises you can do (such as ankle circles or arm stretches). The long mid-flight stretch on overnight flights is an excellent time to take a stroll up and down the aisle a few times.\\nThere may be room to do stretches at the back of some airplane cabins.\\nBefore getting up and walking around, wait until your flight crew tells you it is safe to do so.\\nParticipate in the in-flight exercise video, should your flight provide one. These are designed to help improve circulation and reduce fatigue.\\n2-2. Go with an airline that offers in-flight entertainment.\\nMany airlines show in-flight movies or have a variety of radio stations that you can listen to by plugging headphones into the jack on your seat. Some flights have TV screens built into the back of each seat that display movies, TV shows, and flight information. These can be very useful for helping the time pass quickly. Check ahead with your airline to find out what in-flight entertainment options they offer.\\nIf your airline offers A.V.O.D. (Audio Video on Demand), you can pay extra to watch premium content or play games on your screen during the flight. But be careful—this can get expensive!\\n2-3. Take something to entertain yourself.\\nUsually, in-flight movies don't start for some time, and the built-in music/movie selections can be quite poor. Bring a device, such as a tablet, computer, or portable DVD or Blu-ray player, with some of your favorite movies, music, podcasts, or e-books on it. You could also take a new book that you like or portable game.\\nMake sure to charge all your electronic devices before getting on the plane.\\nSome airlines offer free Wi-Fi so that you can browse the internet on your devices during the flight.\\nAlways have a couple of recent magazines with you. Pick out some magazines at the airport before you leave. That way, you won’t be stuck reading the in-flight magazines!\\nOther good entertainment options include crossword puzzles, sudoku, or adult coloring books. If you’re crafty or artistic, you might bring a sketch pad or a knitting project.\\n2-4. Pack your own headphones.\\nThe headphones typically available on the plane (whether for purchase or for free) are usually of poor quality. Noise-canceling headphones and in-ear headphones are great if you have them, and can help block out engine noise and chatter from other passengers.\\nIf you’re just looking to block out noise, some simple earplugs are also a good option.\\n2-5. Resist the urge to watch the time during the flight.\\nYou can't do anything about how long the flight is taking, and it will feel even longer if you keep looking at the time. Don't check your watch regularly, and avoid looking at the in-flight map showing the current position of the plane.\\nIf you feel the urge to check the time, try distracting yourself with an entertaining activity instead.\\n3. Getting Enough Rest and Nourishment\\n3-1. Do relaxation exercises if you feel tense.\\nIf you feel nervous, irritable, or claustrophobic, try using some relaxation techniques to put you at ease. Do some deep breathing, meditation, or a few simple yoga poses you can do in your seat.\\nDo an online search for “in-flight yoga poses” to find stretches you can do in a confined space.\\nListening to peaceful music, reading, or doing a little doodling or coloring can also help.\\nIf you get extremely tense or scared on flights, talk to your doctor or a counselor. They may be able to recommend coping strategies or even prescribe medications that can help.\\n3-2. Try to find a comfortable sleeping position.\\nIf you brought a pillow, put it on the tray in front of you and rest on that. If you have a window seat, leaning against the wall or window can be much more comfortable than leaning back. If leaning on the wall isn’t an option, recline your seat as far as possible to make leaning back more comfortable.\\nUse caution and courtesy when leaning your seat back. Ask the passenger behind you if you can safely lean back so that they don’t end up with crushed knees or a lap full of coffee.\\nIf you are traveling with friends, parents, or other family members, you can lean on them to sleep.\\nAvoid drinking caffeinated beverages on the flight. These can not only make sleep more difficult, but may also have you scrambling for the bathroom multiple times during your flight.\\nBring an eye mask so that you can block out excess light while you’re trying to sleep.\\n3-3. Check into your meal options ahead of time.\\nWhile most domestic flights in the U.S. no longer offer free meals, some airlines do provide free snacks. Some also offer a menu with a variety of foods and beverages you can purchase in-flight. Contact your airline in advance to find out what kinds of in-flight meals and snacks they offer.\\nIf you are taking an international flight or flying outside the U.S., you may have a choice of complementary in-flight meals and snacks.\\nMany airlines offer vegetarian, Kosher, Halal and other \\\"special\\\" meals if you order up to 2 or 3 days in advance. Because the airlines have to specially prepare your meal, it is usually better than the standard food fare. Plus, passengers with special meal requests are almost always served first.\\n3-4. Take some sweets or other snacks with you.\\nMany airlines don’t provide enough food during long flights, and the food that’s available may be unhealthy, unpleasant, or expensive. If you’ve checked ahead and aren’t crazy about your in-flight options, bring along a few snacks, like some granola bars or pieces of fruit.\\nProtein bars are particularly helpful if you are on a long flight. Most airline meals tend to be low in protein and high in carbohydrates.\\nBefore your flight, check some travel websites, such as TripAdvisor, and look through the reviews to help you decide if you should bring your own food.\\n3-5. Stay hydrated during the flight.\\nIt’s easy to get dehydrated during a long flight, and the dry air on the plane can contribute to your discomfort. Although you can request water from your flight attendants, it is a good idea to take plenty of water on board with you. You can either purchase bottled water once you pass through security or bring an empty bottle with you to fill from a water fountain.\\nRemember that you should never drink the water from airplane bathrooms. This water isn’t of drinking quality.\\nUse eye drops whenever your eyes feel dry. You can purchase eye drops from an airline shop or bring in a bottle small enough to meet airline security requirements.\\nBring an airline security-approved bottle of saline nasal gel or spray to keep your nasal passages from becoming dry during the flight. This can also help decongest you and prevent sinus and ear pain during takeoff and landing.\\nTake lip balm in a 3 fluid ounces (89 mL) or smaller container and use it to protect your lips from becoming painfully dry. Bring a small container of hand lotion or cocoa butter if your skin dries easily.\\nTips\\nTry to obtain a seat on the aisle if you need to use the restroom a lot.\\nIf your ears tend to get clogged during takeoff and landing, bring a little chewing gum. Chewing can help encourage your ears to pop. You can also try taking an antihistamine medication before your flight.\\nGo to the bathroom right before you board the plane. This will decrease the chances that you will have to go during the flight.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A long domestic or international flight can often sour what should be a pleasant holiday or business venture. To make the most of your flight, check ahead with your airline to find out what kinds of seats and accommodations are available. Bring a few essential supplies with you to keep yourself as comfortable as possible on the plane. Once you’re in the air, make sure to move and stretch as much as you can, and try some relaxation techniques to calm your frazzled nerves.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maximizing Your Space and Physical Comfort\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reserve a good seat if you can.\", \"描述\": \"Check ahead with your airline to see if you can snag a comfortable seat on the flight. Even within the same class and fare, some seats are far superior to others. Consider an aisle or exit row seat for added legroom, or a window if you want to lean against the wall and sleep. Try to avoid seats near the toilets/lavatories, as other passengers will be accessing these regularly.\\nBulkhead seats are also a good option if you need extra legroom. These are seats positioned behind dividing walls, screens, or curtains, with no other seats directly in front of them.\\nRemember to never choose an exit row seat if you will have an infant or small child with you, since this could make it more difficult for you to open the exit door in case of an emergency.\\nSome airlines allow you to pay a little extra to get a better seat, even if you aren’t going first class or business class. These options may have names like “Economy Plus” or “Even More Space.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Minimize your carry-on luggage.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re overwhelmed with luggage, getting comfortable on the plane may be difficult. Check with your airline ahead of time to find out about their check-through and carry-on policies, and bring only the absolute essentials onto the plane with you. One backpack is fine for the plane, and it is easier to find a place in the overhead bins or under the seat for a small backpack than for a larger roller bag.\\nMany airlines will allow you to bring one carry-on bag per passenger, plus a “personal item” such as a purse or diaper bag.\\nCheck with your airline to make sure your carry-on luggage meets their size and weight requirements.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress comfortably for the flight.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing tight or uncomfortable clothing can make a long flight miserable. Dress in loose, cozy clothes and comfortable shoes, and make sure to bring at least one layer (like a sweater or zip-up hoodie) in case it gets cold on the plane.\\nCompression socks or stockings can help improve circulation in your legs and prevent inflammation and blood clots when you have to sit in one position for hours at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring a pillow if you plan to sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Trying to sleep in an airplane seat without extra head support can result in lots of frustration and neck pain. Take a travel pillow or head restraint, and try to avoid using the inflatable ones unless you know you will be comfortable.\\nIf you don’t already have a travel pillow, you can purchase one at a shop in most airports.\\nSome airlines offer their own pillows for long flights, but they may charge extra for them. Check ahead of time to find out if your airline provides in-flight pillows and blankets.\\nSince planes can get cold, you may also wish to bring a small throw or travel blanket.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a few hygiene essentials on hand.\", \"描述\": \"Take a hairbrush, toothbrush, lip balm, and anything else that you need to help you freshen up before you land. Facial wipes are also a great for helping you feel clean and refreshed.\\nBe courteous to your fellow passengers by stepping into the bathroom before you brush your teeth or freshen up your deodorant!\\nCheck airport security regulations before packing any liquids or gels in your carry-on luggage. You can safely travel with most liquid or gel products if they are in containers no larger than 3.4 fluid ounces (100 mL).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Active and Entertained\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Move around as much as possible during the flight.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important on longer flights to prevent aches, poor circulation, and potentially dangerous conditions like deep vein thrombosis. Some airlines provide guidance on in-seat exercises you can do (such as ankle circles or arm stretches). The long mid-flight stretch on overnight flights is an excellent time to take a stroll up and down the aisle a few times.\\nThere may be room to do stretches at the back of some airplane cabins.\\nBefore getting up and walking around, wait until your flight crew tells you it is safe to do so.\\nParticipate in the in-flight exercise video, should your flight provide one. These are designed to help improve circulation and reduce fatigue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go with an airline that offers in-flight entertainment.\", \"描述\": \"Many airlines show in-flight movies or have a variety of radio stations that you can listen to by plugging headphones into the jack on your seat. Some flights have TV screens built into the back of each seat that display movies, TV shows, and flight information. These can be very useful for helping the time pass quickly. Check ahead with your airline to find out what in-flight entertainment options they offer.\\nIf your airline offers A.V.O.D. (Audio Video on Demand), you can pay extra to watch premium content or play games on your screen during the flight. But be careful—this can get expensive!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take something to entertain yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Usually, in-flight movies don't start for some time, and the built-in music/movie selections can be quite poor. Bring a device, such as a tablet, computer, or portable DVD or Blu-ray player, with some of your favorite movies, music, podcasts, or e-books on it. You could also take a new book that you like or portable game.\\nMake sure to charge all your electronic devices before getting on the plane.\\nSome airlines offer free Wi-Fi so that you can browse the internet on your devices during the flight.\\nAlways have a couple of recent magazines with you. Pick out some magazines at the airport before you leave. That way, you won’t be stuck reading the in-flight magazines!\\nOther good entertainment options include crossword puzzles, sudoku, or adult coloring books. If you’re crafty or artistic, you might bring a sketch pad or a knitting project.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pack your own headphones.\", \"描述\": \"The headphones typically available on the plane (whether for purchase or for free) are usually of poor quality. Noise-canceling headphones and in-ear headphones are great if you have them, and can help block out engine noise and chatter from other passengers.\\nIf you’re just looking to block out noise, some simple earplugs are also a good option.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to watch the time during the flight.\", \"描述\": \"You can't do anything about how long the flight is taking, and it will feel even longer if you keep looking at the time. Don't check your watch regularly, and avoid looking at the in-flight map showing the current position of the plane.\\nIf you feel the urge to check the time, try distracting yourself with an entertaining activity instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Enough Rest and Nourishment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do relaxation exercises if you feel tense.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel nervous, irritable, or claustrophobic, try using some relaxation techniques to put you at ease. Do some deep breathing, meditation, or a few simple yoga poses you can do in your seat.\\nDo an online search for “in-flight yoga poses” to find stretches you can do in a confined space.\\nListening to peaceful music, reading, or doing a little doodling or coloring can also help.\\nIf you get extremely tense or scared on flights, talk to your doctor or a counselor. They may be able to recommend coping strategies or even prescribe medications that can help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to find a comfortable sleeping position.\", \"描述\": \"If you brought a pillow, put it on the tray in front of you and rest on that. If you have a window seat, leaning against the wall or window can be much more comfortable than leaning back. If leaning on the wall isn’t an option, recline your seat as far as possible to make leaning back more comfortable.\\nUse caution and courtesy when leaning your seat back. Ask the passenger behind you if you can safely lean back so that they don’t end up with crushed knees or a lap full of coffee.\\nIf you are traveling with friends, parents, or other family members, you can lean on them to sleep.\\nAvoid drinking caffeinated beverages on the flight. These can not only make sleep more difficult, but may also have you scrambling for the bathroom multiple times during your flight.\\nBring an eye mask so that you can block out excess light while you’re trying to sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check into your meal options ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"While most domestic flights in the U.S. no longer offer free meals, some airlines do provide free snacks. Some also offer a menu with a variety of foods and beverages you can purchase in-flight. Contact your airline in advance to find out what kinds of in-flight meals and snacks they offer.\\nIf you are taking an international flight or flying outside the U.S., you may have a choice of complementary in-flight meals and snacks.\\nMany airlines offer vegetarian, Kosher, Halal and other \\\"special\\\" meals if you order up to 2 or 3 days in advance. Because the airlines have to specially prepare your meal, it is usually better than the standard food fare. Plus, passengers with special meal requests are almost always served first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take some sweets or other snacks with you.\", \"描述\": \"Many airlines don’t provide enough food during long flights, and the food that’s available may be unhealthy, unpleasant, or expensive. If you’ve checked ahead and aren’t crazy about your in-flight options, bring along a few snacks, like some granola bars or pieces of fruit.\\nProtein bars are particularly helpful if you are on a long flight. Most airline meals tend to be low in protein and high in carbohydrates.\\nBefore your flight, check some travel websites, such as TripAdvisor, and look through the reviews to help you decide if you should bring your own food.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay hydrated during the flight.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to get dehydrated during a long flight, and the dry air on the plane can contribute to your discomfort. Although you can request water from your flight attendants, it is a good idea to take plenty of water on board with you. You can either purchase bottled water once you pass through security or bring an empty bottle with you to fill from a water fountain.\\nRemember that you should never drink the water from airplane bathrooms. This water isn’t of drinking quality.\\nUse eye drops whenever your eyes feel dry. You can purchase eye drops from an airline shop or bring in a bottle small enough to meet airline security requirements.\\nBring an airline security-approved bottle of saline nasal gel or spray to keep your nasal passages from becoming dry during the flight. This can also help decongest you and prevent sinus and ear pain during takeoff and landing.\\nTake lip balm in a 3 fluid ounces (89 mL) or smaller container and use it to protect your lips from becoming painfully dry. Bring a small container of hand lotion or cocoa butter if your skin dries easily.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to obtain a seat on the aisle if you need to use the restroom a lot.\\n\", \"If your ears tend to get clogged during takeoff and landing, bring a little chewing gum. Chewing can help encourage your ears to pop. You can also try taking an antihistamine medication before your flight.\\n\", \"Go to the bathroom right before you board the plane. This will decrease the chances that you will have to go during the flight.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,623 | How to Be Comfortable on a Long Car Ride As a Passenger | 1. Keeping Yourself Relaxed
1-1. Dress comfortably.
Choose loose-fitting pants and shirts. The other passengers may want the car to be colder or warmer than you find comfortable, so bring a few layers with you, too. This will allow you to adjust to any temperature. For instance, you can dress in a comfortable cotton t-shirt, but bring a long-sleeved button up or loose-fitting hoodie with you, as well. Wear soft socks and shoes you can slide off easily.
If you get hot easily, consider wearing a tank top beneath your t-shirt – that way you can lose a layer, if need be. Consider packing a handheld fan, also.
If you’re travelling in winter or to a much colder climate, be sure to bring your mittens, coat and a warm hat with you.
1-2. Take a travel pillow and light blanket with you.
A small travel pillow can be a great comfort on a road trip. You can prop it up against the window and lean on it, put it behind your head or put it between your lower back and the seat to support your spine and prevent back pain. Take along a light blanket or two, as well. Choose blankets that can fit easily in the car and be folded up and put away easily.
Avoid bringing huge, fluffy blankets. They take up too much room and could end up making you feel claustrophobic.
1-3. Bring disposable pre-moistened body wipes.
Riding in a car for hours on end can make you feel sticky and in need of a shower. Some trips may even be so long that you won’t have access to a shower for a day or two. You can freshen up easily while you’re on the go with pre-moistened body wipes. Buy disposable wipes that are alcohol-free – they are kinder to your skin. Look for travel wipes that come in resealable packaging for ease of use.
Keep the wipes nearby, in your bag or backpack, so you can reach for them at any time. Always dispose of them after one use.
Bring the wipes in with you at rest stops so that you can wipe yourself down more thoroughly in the privacy of the bathroom.
1-4. Reduce stress with deep-breathing exercises.
Travelling long distances in a car can be stressful for both your body and mind. Simple deep-breathing exercises can help and they’re easy to do any time you want. Inhale slowly through your nose as you count to five. Then exhale slowly through your mouth as you count to five. Repeat. Do this for a few minutes at a time, whenever you’re feeling anxious or tense.
Make sure to take deep breaths from your belly – this expands your diaphragm and allows for the greatest oxygen intake.
If you’ve meditated in the past, you can pair the deep breathing exercises with mini-meditation breaks.
2. Staying Occupied
2-1. Bring reading material.
Take an assortment of options with you. Everyone enjoys different reading materials – bring along what you like and what you know you’ll read. Certainly pack that thick novel you’ve been meaning to read for months, but don’t force yourself into reading it by only bringing that with you. Give yourself some variety to keep things interesting.
Bring a personal reading light if you will be doing any traveling at night.
If you have limited free space in the car, considering loading books onto your Kindle or tablet. Aside from saving space, you’ll also be able to read from a tablet easily in the dark.
Bring a couple of old favorites along that you’d like to reread, as well. If you find yourself unable to get interested in the new material you brought, you’ll have dependable materials on hand to turn to for entertainment.
2-2. Pack a blank notebook and a few pens.
You can use this blank notebook for anything you like – writing journal entries, sketching, making lists, taking notes, writing down song lyrics, putting your thoughts on paper and so on. Bring several pens with you, in case one runs out of ink. If you enjoy sketching, bring pencils, too. If you’re feeling stumped about what to sketch, try drawing things you see outside your window as you travel along.
Your sketches don’t have to be masterpieces – just have fun with them. You’ll be inside a moving vehicle anyway, which could interfere, so keep that in mind.
If you’re journaling, be sure to put your notebook away in your bag or backpack after you write in it, so the content stays private.
2-3. Load your iPod with new music/podcasts/audiobooks before you leave.
A long car ride is the perfect opportunity to listen to all the albums you’ve been meaning to check out, explore new podcasts, listen to audiobooks, watch videos and more. Fill up all the usable space on your device(s) and give yourself a wide assortment of things to choose from. Don’t forget to bring along your best and most comfortable headphones.
If you’re an audiophile, bring noise-cancelling headphones.
Keep the volume reasonable or you could end up with a headache after a few hours of listening.
2-4. Make sure you have chargers and other gadgets.
Bring a USB car charger so you can keep your mp3 player, smartphone, tablet, Bluetooth speakers and other devices fully charged and ready to use. Make sure you pack all of the adapters and cords required to operate and charge your devices. If you forget any of them, don’t worry – you can probably pick up whatever you need at a gas station or truck stop.
If you have several devices, pack them safely in a padded case to prevent damage.
2-5. Bring solo and/or group games to keep you entertained.
If you’re the only passenger, bring games and other forms of entertainment that you can do by yourself, such as crossword puzzles, Sudoku, handheld video game devices and so on. If there are other passengers, consider bringing a large board and a deck of playing cards, and any other games that can be played by two or more people. You can also pass the time with games that require no props, like 20 Questions.
2-6. Come up with a rotation system for the car stereo.
Travelling with multiple passengers on a long car trip can present a challenge because they probably aren't going to agree on everything, especially when it comes to what's playing on the car stereo. This kind of frustration can be avoided by coming up with a system of rotation, allowing everyone a chance to play whatever they want during their "turn."
3. Avoiding Discomfort
3-1. Pack anti-nausea and headache medication.
Anti-nausea medication is a must if you get motion sickness. Even if you typically don’t experience nausea while traveling, pack some anti-nausea medication just in case. Keep in mind that many brands will make you drowsy, so check the label first. Reading or listening to music for long periods of time can cause headaches – take breaks every few hours and have headache mediation like aspirin or ibuprofen on hand.
If you’re expecting to experience motion sickness, bring a paper or plastic bag with you and keep it nearby, in case you need to vomit. It’s not pleasant to think about, but it's best to be prepared.
A basic first-aid kit is also helpful to have with you on road trips.
3-2. Plan for stops along the way.
Sitting in one position for long periods of time can lead to cramps, aches and muscle spasms. It’s important to stop every few hours while you’re travelling to use the restroom, stretch your legs and walk around a bit, which will get your blood circulating normally.
Plan ahead to stop at rest stops, parks and gas stations along the way.
Get out of the car and walk around briefly. Do some light stretching.
3-3. Keep your body moving.
While you’re sitting in the car, remember to move around periodically and switch positions occasionally. Even adjusting the position of your seat every now and then can help to prevent aches and pains. Get the blood flowing in your legs by pumping your ankles and move your arms around to improve blood flow and circulation.
3-4. Be mindful of your posture.
Even when you’re relaxing in the back seat as a passenger, slumping can cause muscle aches and strains. Remember to sit up straight in your seat and make sure you have lower back support. Use a small travel pillow between your lower back and the seat if you need extra lumbar support. If you have your head bent down in order to read, make sure to stop periodically and stretch your neck.
3-5. Bring sunglasses and sunscreen.
Not all cars have tinted windows, and long hours of day-travelling can lead to a lot of squinting in bright sunlight and sun exposure. If you’re travelling in areas with a lot of snow, the bright light and glare can be even worse, which can result in discomfort, headaches and even sun burns. Be sure to pack a pair of comfortable sunglasses. If you catch yourself squinting, put them on.
Bring sunscreen and apply it to your arms, face and any other areas of exposed skin while travelling.
3-6. Take water and healthy snacks on the road.
If you leave for a road trip with no water or snacks in the car, you will end up stopping for fast food, soda and other unhealthy fare along the way. Bring a small, portable cooler with you and pack it with water and healthy snacks to keep your energy up while you’re travelling. Avoid drinking alcohol while travelling, which can lead to fatigue, nausea and dehydration.
3-7. Alternate driving duties.
If you are traveling with a group, share the driving duties with the other passengers. That way, one person doesn't have to shoulder the entire responsibility. Come up with a system of rotation and switch out every few hundred miles. Since you're stopping to switch drivers periodically, this also gives everyone a chance to get out and stretch their legs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping Yourself Relaxed\\n1-1. Dress comfortably.\\nChoose loose-fitting pants and shirts. The other passengers may want the car to be colder or warmer than you find comfortable, so bring a few layers with you, too. This will allow you to adjust to any temperature. For instance, you can dress in a comfortable cotton t-shirt, but bring a long-sleeved button up or loose-fitting hoodie with you, as well. Wear soft socks and shoes you can slide off easily.\\nIf you get hot easily, consider wearing a tank top beneath your t-shirt – that way you can lose a layer, if need be. Consider packing a handheld fan, also.\\nIf you’re travelling in winter or to a much colder climate, be sure to bring your mittens, coat and a warm hat with you.\\n1-2. Take a travel pillow and light blanket with you.\\nA small travel pillow can be a great comfort on a road trip. You can prop it up against the window and lean on it, put it behind your head or put it between your lower back and the seat to support your spine and prevent back pain. Take along a light blanket or two, as well. Choose blankets that can fit easily in the car and be folded up and put away easily.\\nAvoid bringing huge, fluffy blankets. They take up too much room and could end up making you feel claustrophobic.\\n1-3. Bring disposable pre-moistened body wipes.\\nRiding in a car for hours on end can make you feel sticky and in need of a shower. Some trips may even be so long that you won’t have access to a shower for a day or two. You can freshen up easily while you’re on the go with pre-moistened body wipes. Buy disposable wipes that are alcohol-free – they are kinder to your skin. Look for travel wipes that come in resealable packaging for ease of use.\\nKeep the wipes nearby, in your bag or backpack, so you can reach for them at any time. Always dispose of them after one use.\\nBring the wipes in with you at rest stops so that you can wipe yourself down more thoroughly in the privacy of the bathroom.\\n1-4. Reduce stress with deep-breathing exercises.\\nTravelling long distances in a car can be stressful for both your body and mind. Simple deep-breathing exercises can help and they’re easy to do any time you want. Inhale slowly through your nose as you count to five. Then exhale slowly through your mouth as you count to five. Repeat. Do this for a few minutes at a time, whenever you’re feeling anxious or tense.\\nMake sure to take deep breaths from your belly – this expands your diaphragm and allows for the greatest oxygen intake.\\nIf you’ve meditated in the past, you can pair the deep breathing exercises with mini-meditation breaks.\\n2. Staying Occupied\\n2-1. Bring reading material.\\nTake an assortment of options with you. Everyone enjoys different reading materials – bring along what you like and what you know you’ll read. Certainly pack that thick novel you’ve been meaning to read for months, but don’t force yourself into reading it by only bringing that with you. Give yourself some variety to keep things interesting.\\nBring a personal reading light if you will be doing any traveling at night.\\nIf you have limited free space in the car, considering loading books onto your Kindle or tablet. Aside from saving space, you’ll also be able to read from a tablet easily in the dark.\\nBring a couple of old favorites along that you’d like to reread, as well. If you find yourself unable to get interested in the new material you brought, you’ll have dependable materials on hand to turn to for entertainment.\\n2-2. Pack a blank notebook and a few pens.\\nYou can use this blank notebook for anything you like – writing journal entries, sketching, making lists, taking notes, writing down song lyrics, putting your thoughts on paper and so on. Bring several pens with you, in case one runs out of ink. If you enjoy sketching, bring pencils, too. If you’re feeling stumped about what to sketch, try drawing things you see outside your window as you travel along.\\nYour sketches don’t have to be masterpieces – just have fun with them. You’ll be inside a moving vehicle anyway, which could interfere, so keep that in mind.\\nIf you’re journaling, be sure to put your notebook away in your bag or backpack after you write in it, so the content stays private.\\n2-3. Load your iPod with new music/podcasts/audiobooks before you leave.\\nA long car ride is the perfect opportunity to listen to all the albums you’ve been meaning to check out, explore new podcasts, listen to audiobooks, watch videos and more. Fill up all the usable space on your device(s) and give yourself a wide assortment of things to choose from. Don’t forget to bring along your best and most comfortable headphones.\\nIf you’re an audiophile, bring noise-cancelling headphones.\\nKeep the volume reasonable or you could end up with a headache after a few hours of listening.\\n2-4. Make sure you have chargers and other gadgets.\\nBring a USB car charger so you can keep your mp3 player, smartphone, tablet, Bluetooth speakers and other devices fully charged and ready to use. Make sure you pack all of the adapters and cords required to operate and charge your devices. If you forget any of them, don’t worry – you can probably pick up whatever you need at a gas station or truck stop.\\nIf you have several devices, pack them safely in a padded case to prevent damage.\\n2-5. Bring solo and/or group games to keep you entertained.\\nIf you’re the only passenger, bring games and other forms of entertainment that you can do by yourself, such as crossword puzzles, Sudoku, handheld video game devices and so on. If there are other passengers, consider bringing a large board and a deck of playing cards, and any other games that can be played by two or more people. You can also pass the time with games that require no props, like 20 Questions.\\n2-6. Come up with a rotation system for the car stereo.\\nTravelling with multiple passengers on a long car trip can present a challenge because they probably aren't going to agree on everything, especially when it comes to what's playing on the car stereo. This kind of frustration can be avoided by coming up with a system of rotation, allowing everyone a chance to play whatever they want during their \\\"turn.\\\"\\n3. Avoiding Discomfort\\n3-1. Pack anti-nausea and headache medication.\\nAnti-nausea medication is a must if you get motion sickness. Even if you typically don’t experience nausea while traveling, pack some anti-nausea medication just in case. Keep in mind that many brands will make you drowsy, so check the label first. Reading or listening to music for long periods of time can cause headaches – take breaks every few hours and have headache mediation like aspirin or ibuprofen on hand.\\nIf you’re expecting to experience motion sickness, bring a paper or plastic bag with you and keep it nearby, in case you need to vomit. It’s not pleasant to think about, but it's best to be prepared.\\nA basic first-aid kit is also helpful to have with you on road trips.\\n3-2. Plan for stops along the way.\\nSitting in one position for long periods of time can lead to cramps, aches and muscle spasms. It’s important to stop every few hours while you’re travelling to use the restroom, stretch your legs and walk around a bit, which will get your blood circulating normally.\\nPlan ahead to stop at rest stops, parks and gas stations along the way.\\nGet out of the car and walk around briefly. Do some light stretching.\\n3-3. Keep your body moving.\\nWhile you’re sitting in the car, remember to move around periodically and switch positions occasionally. Even adjusting the position of your seat every now and then can help to prevent aches and pains. Get the blood flowing in your legs by pumping your ankles and move your arms around to improve blood flow and circulation.\\n3-4. Be mindful of your posture.\\nEven when you’re relaxing in the back seat as a passenger, slumping can cause muscle aches and strains. Remember to sit up straight in your seat and make sure you have lower back support. Use a small travel pillow between your lower back and the seat if you need extra lumbar support. If you have your head bent down in order to read, make sure to stop periodically and stretch your neck.\\n3-5. Bring sunglasses and sunscreen.\\nNot all cars have tinted windows, and long hours of day-travelling can lead to a lot of squinting in bright sunlight and sun exposure. If you’re travelling in areas with a lot of snow, the bright light and glare can be even worse, which can result in discomfort, headaches and even sun burns. Be sure to pack a pair of comfortable sunglasses. If you catch yourself squinting, put them on.\\nBring sunscreen and apply it to your arms, face and any other areas of exposed skin while travelling.\\n3-6. Take water and healthy snacks on the road.\\nIf you leave for a road trip with no water or snacks in the car, you will end up stopping for fast food, soda and other unhealthy fare along the way. Bring a small, portable cooler with you and pack it with water and healthy snacks to keep your energy up while you’re travelling. Avoid drinking alcohol while travelling, which can lead to fatigue, nausea and dehydration.\\n3-7. Alternate driving duties.\\nIf you are traveling with a group, share the driving duties with the other passengers. That way, one person doesn't have to shoulder the entire responsibility. Come up with a system of rotation and switch out every few hundred miles. Since you're stopping to switch drivers periodically, this also gives everyone a chance to get out and stretch their legs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Long car rides can be physically uncomfortable and mentally unstimulating, but they don’t have to be. You can keep yourself feeling comfortable, rested, hydrated and entertained when you’re on the road by taking a little time to prepare before you set out on your journey. Dress comfortably and take small comforts like travel pillows and blankets with you. Reading material, writing material, games, devices and so on can keep you distracted and entertained. Plan for stops ahead of time so you can stretch achy muscles and get your blood circulating.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping Yourself Relaxed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress comfortably.\", \"描述\": \"Choose loose-fitting pants and shirts. The other passengers may want the car to be colder or warmer than you find comfortable, so bring a few layers with you, too. This will allow you to adjust to any temperature. For instance, you can dress in a comfortable cotton t-shirt, but bring a long-sleeved button up or loose-fitting hoodie with you, as well. Wear soft socks and shoes you can slide off easily.\\nIf you get hot easily, consider wearing a tank top beneath your t-shirt – that way you can lose a layer, if need be. Consider packing a handheld fan, also.\\nIf you’re travelling in winter or to a much colder climate, be sure to bring your mittens, coat and a warm hat with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a travel pillow and light blanket with you.\", \"描述\": \"A small travel pillow can be a great comfort on a road trip. You can prop it up against the window and lean on it, put it behind your head or put it between your lower back and the seat to support your spine and prevent back pain. Take along a light blanket or two, as well. Choose blankets that can fit easily in the car and be folded up and put away easily.\\nAvoid bringing huge, fluffy blankets. They take up too much room and could end up making you feel claustrophobic.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring disposable pre-moistened body wipes.\", \"描述\": \"Riding in a car for hours on end can make you feel sticky and in need of a shower. Some trips may even be so long that you won’t have access to a shower for a day or two. You can freshen up easily while you’re on the go with pre-moistened body wipes. Buy disposable wipes that are alcohol-free – they are kinder to your skin. Look for travel wipes that come in resealable packaging for ease of use.\\nKeep the wipes nearby, in your bag or backpack, so you can reach for them at any time. Always dispose of them after one use.\\nBring the wipes in with you at rest stops so that you can wipe yourself down more thoroughly in the privacy of the bathroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce stress with deep-breathing exercises.\", \"描述\": \"Travelling long distances in a car can be stressful for both your body and mind. Simple deep-breathing exercises can help and they’re easy to do any time you want. Inhale slowly through your nose as you count to five. Then exhale slowly through your mouth as you count to five. Repeat. Do this for a few minutes at a time, whenever you’re feeling anxious or tense.\\nMake sure to take deep breaths from your belly – this expands your diaphragm and allows for the greatest oxygen intake.\\nIf you’ve meditated in the past, you can pair the deep breathing exercises with mini-meditation breaks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Occupied\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring reading material.\", \"描述\": \"Take an assortment of options with you. Everyone enjoys different reading materials – bring along what you like and what you know you’ll read. Certainly pack that thick novel you’ve been meaning to read for months, but don’t force yourself into reading it by only bringing that with you. Give yourself some variety to keep things interesting.\\nBring a personal reading light if you will be doing any traveling at night.\\nIf you have limited free space in the car, considering loading books onto your Kindle or tablet. Aside from saving space, you’ll also be able to read from a tablet easily in the dark.\\nBring a couple of old favorites along that you’d like to reread, as well. If you find yourself unable to get interested in the new material you brought, you’ll have dependable materials on hand to turn to for entertainment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pack a blank notebook and a few pens.\", \"描述\": \"You can use this blank notebook for anything you like – writing journal entries, sketching, making lists, taking notes, writing down song lyrics, putting your thoughts on paper and so on. Bring several pens with you, in case one runs out of ink. If you enjoy sketching, bring pencils, too. If you’re feeling stumped about what to sketch, try drawing things you see outside your window as you travel along.\\nYour sketches don’t have to be masterpieces – just have fun with them. You’ll be inside a moving vehicle anyway, which could interfere, so keep that in mind.\\nIf you’re journaling, be sure to put your notebook away in your bag or backpack after you write in it, so the content stays private.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Load your iPod with new music/podcasts/audiobooks before you leave.\", \"描述\": \"A long car ride is the perfect opportunity to listen to all the albums you’ve been meaning to check out, explore new podcasts, listen to audiobooks, watch videos and more. Fill up all the usable space on your device(s) and give yourself a wide assortment of things to choose from. Don’t forget to bring along your best and most comfortable headphones.\\nIf you’re an audiophile, bring noise-cancelling headphones.\\nKeep the volume reasonable or you could end up with a headache after a few hours of listening.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have chargers and other gadgets.\", \"描述\": \"Bring a USB car charger so you can keep your mp3 player, smartphone, tablet, Bluetooth speakers and other devices fully charged and ready to use. Make sure you pack all of the adapters and cords required to operate and charge your devices. If you forget any of them, don’t worry – you can probably pick up whatever you need at a gas station or truck stop.\\nIf you have several devices, pack them safely in a padded case to prevent damage.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring solo and/or group games to keep you entertained.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re the only passenger, bring games and other forms of entertainment that you can do by yourself, such as crossword puzzles, Sudoku, handheld video game devices and so on. If there are other passengers, consider bringing a large board and a deck of playing cards, and any other games that can be played by two or more people. You can also pass the time with games that require no props, like 20 Questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Come up with a rotation system for the car stereo.\", \"描述\": \"Travelling with multiple passengers on a long car trip can present a challenge because they probably aren't going to agree on everything, especially when it comes to what's playing on the car stereo. This kind of frustration can be avoided by coming up with a system of rotation, allowing everyone a chance to play whatever they want during their \\\"turn.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Discomfort\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pack anti-nausea and headache medication.\", \"描述\": \"Anti-nausea medication is a must if you get motion sickness. Even if you typically don’t experience nausea while traveling, pack some anti-nausea medication just in case. Keep in mind that many brands will make you drowsy, so check the label first. Reading or listening to music for long periods of time can cause headaches – take breaks every few hours and have headache mediation like aspirin or ibuprofen on hand.\\nIf you’re expecting to experience motion sickness, bring a paper or plastic bag with you and keep it nearby, in case you need to vomit. It’s not pleasant to think about, but it's best to be prepared.\\nA basic first-aid kit is also helpful to have with you on road trips.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan for stops along the way.\", \"描述\": \"Sitting in one position for long periods of time can lead to cramps, aches and muscle spasms. It’s important to stop every few hours while you’re travelling to use the restroom, stretch your legs and walk around a bit, which will get your blood circulating normally.\\nPlan ahead to stop at rest stops, parks and gas stations along the way.\\nGet out of the car and walk around briefly. Do some light stretching.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your body moving.\", \"描述\": \"While you’re sitting in the car, remember to move around periodically and switch positions occasionally. Even adjusting the position of your seat every now and then can help to prevent aches and pains. Get the blood flowing in your legs by pumping your ankles and move your arms around to improve blood flow and circulation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be mindful of your posture.\", \"描述\": \"Even when you’re relaxing in the back seat as a passenger, slumping can cause muscle aches and strains. Remember to sit up straight in your seat and make sure you have lower back support. Use a small travel pillow between your lower back and the seat if you need extra lumbar support. If you have your head bent down in order to read, make sure to stop periodically and stretch your neck.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring sunglasses and sunscreen.\", \"描述\": \"Not all cars have tinted windows, and long hours of day-travelling can lead to a lot of squinting in bright sunlight and sun exposure. If you’re travelling in areas with a lot of snow, the bright light and glare can be even worse, which can result in discomfort, headaches and even sun burns. Be sure to pack a pair of comfortable sunglasses. If you catch yourself squinting, put them on.\\nBring sunscreen and apply it to your arms, face and any other areas of exposed skin while travelling.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take water and healthy snacks on the road.\", \"描述\": \"If you leave for a road trip with no water or snacks in the car, you will end up stopping for fast food, soda and other unhealthy fare along the way. Bring a small, portable cooler with you and pack it with water and healthy snacks to keep your energy up while you’re travelling. Avoid drinking alcohol while travelling, which can lead to fatigue, nausea and dehydration.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Alternate driving duties.\", \"描述\": \"If you are traveling with a group, share the driving duties with the other passengers. That way, one person doesn't have to shoulder the entire responsibility. Come up with a system of rotation and switch out every few hundred miles. Since you're stopping to switch drivers periodically, this also gives everyone a chance to get out and stretch their legs.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,624 | How to Be Comfortable on a Long Plane Ride As a Teenager | 1. Steps
1-1. Pack light
You don't want to be stuck carrying around 50 lbs. of luggage, especially if you are flying alone. An old trick to pack light is just plan to do laundry when you get there. If you can't stand laundry, then plan to wear a shirt two or three times, if it isn't dirty.
1-2. Dress comfortably.
Stick to sweats and a t-shirt. This will make you comfortable. Also, wear tennis shoes, never heels. From walking around the airport, your feet will get sore. If you have glasses, wear them, but you can always bring contacts when you get to your destination. This can save you from dry eyes, and you can sleep in comfort.
1-3. Bring cash.
About $50 in cash for use on the plane and in the airport is appropriate. In the airport, you can buy snacks to take on the plane, and you can buy a large water bottle. Don't buy soda, because that can get you all jittery. If you want carbonated drinks, buy ginger ale instead. When you are at the airport, or at a store beforehand, get a bag of lollipops. Dumdums are good because they are small and don't have much sugar. If you don't like lollipops, then bring some M&Ms or Skittles. Sucking on sweets can help to reduce stress a little.
1-4. Bring "freshening up" items in your carry-on.
This includes tissues, extra hair ties, a brush, a toothbrush and toothpaste, eye drops, face wash, wipes, deodorant, band-aids, and headache capsules.
1-5. Take your own blanket and pillow.
Even though most airlines provide them, they may not have been washed recently.
1-6. Bring a laptop if you have one.
You can play games, watch movies, play music, do some homework, and whatever you want. Some airlines may even offer internet access. If you don't have a laptop, bring an iPod or MP3 player, (iPods are better because you can play movies on them) and a DS or a Game Boy.
1-7. Bring a good book
If you are going for Christmas or another school holiday, bring all your homework so you can get it done before your vacation starts. Bring mechanical pencils, regular pencils break and they are a pain to sharpen. Doing homework can also be a great waste of time, and when you're done, a lot of people like to go to sleep after that. Even if you don't have homework, simply bringing a book to read can be helpful.
1-8. Get a good seat
You don't want to be stuck in the middle of a row, not being able to do anything. If you can, sit in a row that isn't as full. Get an aisle seat, if you want leg room, or a window seat, if you want to sleep. If you are seated and don't like your seat, look for an empty row. Then, when the cabin door closes, go for that empty row you've been spotting.
1-9. Go to the bathroom every hour.
It's best if you go early instead of waiting until the last minute, thus possibly needing to wait in line. After that, walk to the front of the cabin and then walk back to your seat. This will get your blood flowing.
1-10. Ride with a family member or friend if possible.
Alternatively, if you find someone that looks like your age, and they have no one sitting by them, ask them if you can sit down beside them and then introduce yourself. You may find yourself a new best friend.
1-11. Take advantage of on board technology and benefits.
Some flights have a video screen that you can use to watch movies, TV shows, and play video games. Some airlines also let you request certain items like extra food, blankets, seats, and cards.
1-12. Chew gum
Sometimes on a plane your ears can pop and it can get annoying. Chewing gum helps out. Doing this also freshens your breath.
Tips
If you don't like airplane food, bring your own lunch box with things you got from the airport. Maybe a sandwich that could be kept in a backpack.
Window seats may be nice, but aisle seats give you room to stretch out your legs in the aisle as long as no one is walking around. Many airlines let you choose where your seat is, so take advantage of this option.
In your backpack, bring fuzzy socks. Don't wear them right when you get to the airport or this could make your feet feel weird.
Warnings
If you are a heavy sleeper, don't take sleeping pills. Those will knock you out. If there was some sort of emergency, you will need to be able to wake up easily.
When the flight attendant is talking, and whenever they say to do so, it is important to turn off any electronic devices or put them in airplane mode. You'll also want to be sure you listen to their directions, and are friendly towards them for the duration of the flight.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Pack light\\nYou don't want to be stuck carrying around 50 lbs. of luggage, especially if you are flying alone. An old trick to pack light is just plan to do laundry when you get there. If you can't stand laundry, then plan to wear a shirt two or three times, if it isn't dirty.\\n1-2. Dress comfortably.\\nStick to sweats and a t-shirt. This will make you comfortable. Also, wear tennis shoes, never heels. From walking around the airport, your feet will get sore. If you have glasses, wear them, but you can always bring contacts when you get to your destination. This can save you from dry eyes, and you can sleep in comfort.\\n1-3. Bring cash.\\nAbout $50 in cash for use on the plane and in the airport is appropriate. In the airport, you can buy snacks to take on the plane, and you can buy a large water bottle. Don't buy soda, because that can get you all jittery. If you want carbonated drinks, buy ginger ale instead. When you are at the airport, or at a store beforehand, get a bag of lollipops. Dumdums are good because they are small and don't have much sugar. If you don't like lollipops, then bring some M&Ms or Skittles. Sucking on sweets can help to reduce stress a little.\\n1-4. Bring \\\"freshening up\\\" items in your carry-on.\\nThis includes tissues, extra hair ties, a brush, a toothbrush and toothpaste, eye drops, face wash, wipes, deodorant, band-aids, and headache capsules.\\n1-5. Take your own blanket and pillow.\\nEven though most airlines provide them, they may not have been washed recently.\\n1-6. Bring a laptop if you have one.\\nYou can play games, watch movies, play music, do some homework, and whatever you want. Some airlines may even offer internet access. If you don't have a laptop, bring an iPod or MP3 player, (iPods are better because you can play movies on them) and a DS or a Game Boy.\\n1-7. Bring a good book\\nIf you are going for Christmas or another school holiday, bring all your homework so you can get it done before your vacation starts. Bring mechanical pencils, regular pencils break and they are a pain to sharpen. Doing homework can also be a great waste of time, and when you're done, a lot of people like to go to sleep after that. Even if you don't have homework, simply bringing a book to read can be helpful.\\n1-8. Get a good seat\\nYou don't want to be stuck in the middle of a row, not being able to do anything. If you can, sit in a row that isn't as full. Get an aisle seat, if you want leg room, or a window seat, if you want to sleep. If you are seated and don't like your seat, look for an empty row. Then, when the cabin door closes, go for that empty row you've been spotting.\\n1-9. Go to the bathroom every hour.\\nIt's best if you go early instead of waiting until the last minute, thus possibly needing to wait in line. After that, walk to the front of the cabin and then walk back to your seat. This will get your blood flowing.\\n1-10. Ride with a family member or friend if possible.\\nAlternatively, if you find someone that looks like your age, and they have no one sitting by them, ask them if you can sit down beside them and then introduce yourself. You may find yourself a new best friend.\\n1-11. Take advantage of on board technology and benefits.\\nSome flights have a video screen that you can use to watch movies, TV shows, and play video games. Some airlines also let you request certain items like extra food, blankets, seats, and cards.\\n1-12. Chew gum\\nSometimes on a plane your ears can pop and it can get annoying. Chewing gum helps out. Doing this also freshens your breath.\\nTips\\nIf you don't like airplane food, bring your own lunch box with things you got from the airport. Maybe a sandwich that could be kept in a backpack.\\nWindow seats may be nice, but aisle seats give you room to stretch out your legs in the aisle as long as no one is walking around. Many airlines let you choose where your seat is, so take advantage of this option.\\nIn your backpack, bring fuzzy socks. Don't wear them right when you get to the airport or this could make your feet feel weird.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are a heavy sleeper, don't take sleeping pills. Those will knock you out. If there was some sort of emergency, you will need to be able to wake up easily.\\nWhen the flight attendant is talking, and whenever they say to do so, it is important to turn off any electronic devices or put them in airplane mode. You'll also want to be sure you listen to their directions, and are friendly towards them for the duration of the flight.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some people hate flying, especially on long rides. If you are a teen and traveling across the country, or even the world, it's always a good idea to get comfy. If you need help being comfortable on a long plane ride, this is the article for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pack light\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to be stuck carrying around 50 lbs. of luggage, especially if you are flying alone. An old trick to pack light is just plan to do laundry when you get there. If you can't stand laundry, then plan to wear a shirt two or three times, if it isn't dirty.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress comfortably.\", \"描述\": \"Stick to sweats and a t-shirt. This will make you comfortable. Also, wear tennis shoes, never heels. From walking around the airport, your feet will get sore. If you have glasses, wear them, but you can always bring contacts when you get to your destination. This can save you from dry eyes, and you can sleep in comfort.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring cash.\", \"描述\": \"About $50 in cash for use on the plane and in the airport is appropriate. In the airport, you can buy snacks to take on the plane, and you can buy a large water bottle. Don't buy soda, because that can get you all jittery. If you want carbonated drinks, buy ginger ale instead. When you are at the airport, or at a store beforehand, get a bag of lollipops. Dumdums are good because they are small and don't have much sugar. If you don't like lollipops, then bring some M&Ms or Skittles. Sucking on sweets can help to reduce stress a little.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring \\\"freshening up\\\" items in your carry-on.\", \"描述\": \"This includes tissues, extra hair ties, a brush, a toothbrush and toothpaste, eye drops, face wash, wipes, deodorant, band-aids, and headache capsules.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take your own blanket and pillow.\", \"描述\": \"Even though most airlines provide them, they may not have been washed recently.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Bring a laptop if you have one.\", \"描述\": \"You can play games, watch movies, play music, do some homework, and whatever you want. Some airlines may even offer internet access. If you don't have a laptop, bring an iPod or MP3 player, (iPods are better because you can play movies on them) and a DS or a Game Boy.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Bring a good book\", \"描述\": \"If you are going for Christmas or another school holiday, bring all your homework so you can get it done before your vacation starts. Bring mechanical pencils, regular pencils break and they are a pain to sharpen. Doing homework can also be a great waste of time, and when you're done, a lot of people like to go to sleep after that. Even if you don't have homework, simply bringing a book to read can be helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get a good seat\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to be stuck in the middle of a row, not being able to do anything. If you can, sit in a row that isn't as full. Get an aisle seat, if you want leg room, or a window seat, if you want to sleep. If you are seated and don't like your seat, look for an empty row. Then, when the cabin door closes, go for that empty row you've been spotting.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Go to the bathroom every hour.\", \"描述\": \"It's best if you go early instead of waiting until the last minute, thus possibly needing to wait in line. After that, walk to the front of the cabin and then walk back to your seat. This will get your blood flowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ride with a family member or friend if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Alternatively, if you find someone that looks like your age, and they have no one sitting by them, ask them if you can sit down beside them and then introduce yourself. You may find yourself a new best friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of on board technology and benefits.\", \"描述\": \"Some flights have a video screen that you can use to watch movies, TV shows, and play video games. Some airlines also let you request certain items like extra food, blankets, seats, and cards.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Chew gum\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes on a plane your ears can pop and it can get annoying. Chewing gum helps out. Doing this also freshens your breath.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you don't like airplane food, bring your own lunch box with things you got from the airport. Maybe a sandwich that could be kept in a backpack.\\n\", \"Window seats may be nice, but aisle seats give you room to stretch out your legs in the aisle as long as no one is walking around. Many airlines let you choose where your seat is, so take advantage of this option.\\n\", \"In your backpack, bring fuzzy socks. Don't wear them right when you get to the airport or this could make your feet feel weird.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are a heavy sleeper, don't take sleeping pills. Those will knock you out. If there was some sort of emergency, you will need to be able to wake up easily.\\n\", \"When the flight attendant is talking, and whenever they say to do so, it is important to turn off any electronic devices or put them in airplane mode. You'll also want to be sure you listen to their directions, and are friendly towards them for the duration of the flight.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,625 | How to Be Competitive in a Non‐Destructive Way | 1. Being Fair
1-1. Be courteous.
Showing respect for others is essential if you want to stay on the healthy side of competition. This allows you to consider others’ feelings. That way, no one is overtly hurt or disrespected, even during a competition.
Basic ways to be courteous include saying “please” and “thank you,” taking turns, and apologizing for wrongdoing.
Basic courtesy can be seen when competing opponents shake one another’s hands before a match. Doing this sends the message that you respect the other person, even though you’re on different sides.
You can also be courteous by practicing humility when you accomplish a goal. Avoid cheering for yourself or being too self-congratulatory.
1-2. Voice your opinions, but hear others out, too.
Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of being silenced or ignored. However, you should also extend this courtesy to others. State your opinions and needs, but be an active listener, too.
Once you've tactfully said your part, let the other person talk. Make eye contact, turn to face them, and use open body language that encourages a dialogue.
Sitting back and listening every now and then exhibits fairness. Plus, you might learn something from what others say.
1-3. Build on your opponent's ideas, but give them credit.
Healthy competition invites everyone to participate in brainstorming and innovating. Yet, you could burn bridges if you knowingly steal other people's ideas. Show fairness by giving credit to the original source, even if they are your biggest competitor.
For example, you might say, “Jared came up with the idea of bringing our clients on-board periodically to get their input. I figured why not take that idea further and allow them to see project updates in real-time.”
Keep in mind that cheering on your coworkers and surrounding yourself with high-achievers will help you to be successful as well.
1-4. Play by the rules.
If you want to compete in a constructive way, be fair in the way you play the game. Every competitor should have the same advantage, so don't sabotage others, spread rumors, cheat, or take actions that directly hinder their progress.
Follow the established standards in your activity or line of work. Breaking the rules may help you to win, but it may also ruin your reputation. Play fair and you'll earn other's respect and admiration.
2. Handling Victories Well
2-1. Resist the urge to boast.
Bragging about your successes can annoy others and make you appear arrogant. Instead, humbly acknowledge your victories without much pomp and circumstance.
Try to avoid saying things like, "That's right! You ate my dust!" or calling your opponent a "loser" after winning a race.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate victories—just don't go out of your way to rub the loser’s nose in your victory.
2-2. Compliment your opponent's efforts.
Even if you surpassed your competition in the end, they still put up a fight. Give them credit for the energy they put into the competition. This goes a long way towards you earning other's respect and staying humble.
For example, if you and another coworker both were up for a promotion, you might say, “Jake, you were a very worthy candidate. I know it's only a matter of time before you're promoted.”
Be sure you do this humbly and authentically. It shouldn't serve as a way for you to show off.
2-3. Recognize the contributions of your teammates.
Destructive competitors boast and claim all the credit for themselves. However, to compete in a non-destructive way, it's a good idea to acknowledge the help and cooperation you received from others—especially those who are on your side.
If you're successful at something, be sure to identify others, such as teammates or mentors, who are responsible for helping you get the victory.
This might sound like, “Thanks, everyone, but I couldn't have done it without Janice. Her talent was essential to the win.”
When you do this, you become a team-player. Showing respect and consideration for your teammates is just as important as being civil with your competitors.
2-4. Reflect on victories to gain insight.
After a victory, take some time to think about what went right and what could have been improved. This will help you to learn from the experience and improve your chance of more future successes. Ask yourself:
What did my team and I do well?
What do my team and I need to work on?
3. Dealing with Losses
3-1. Accept the outcome.
Don't lose your head and start complaining or accusing others if you experience a setback or failure. If the decision was mostly fair, acknowledge the loss and move forward.
Being in denial or placing blame makes you look like a sore loser. It also takes the responsibility of your performance away from you and places it somewhere else.
By accepting the outcome—whatever it may be—you show that you are okay with losing, and that the outcome isn't always what's most important.
This suggestion is not relevant to situations when you feel like you were cheated or discriminated against in some way. In such situations, don't stay quiet. Take your grievances to the proper authorities.
3-2. Applaud when others win.
Healthy competition means you accept the fact that you won't always win, and that you can still congratulate others when they do. Politely pat the winners on the back to show that you're not a sore loser.
Use this strategy for applauding your own opponent and for congratulating friends who may enjoy successes that you don't.
Keep in mind that if you are gracious when others win, they are more likely to follow your lead and behave similarly when they lose.
You can also use other people’s victories as examples to help you be successful in the future. Examine what they have done well and how you might do something similar.
3-3. Learn from your mistakes.
As you get accustomed to losing, you'll notice that your biggest competitor is yourself. Your primary focus should be on steadily improving over time. Therefore, don't dwell too much on losses. Simply use them to evaluate your mistakes and apply what you learn to future situations.
For example, if you don't get picked as first chair in this year's orchestra, get feedback to find out how you can better your skills. Practice, evaluate your progress, and try again next year.
3-4. Challenge negative self-talk.
It's easy to fall into self-hatred when you're competing with someone and they win. “He's so skilled at chess,” becomes, “I'm such a loser.” When this happens, realize that someone else's success does not have to translate to your failure and change your tune.
You might challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself about other activities you're good at, or even reflect on how your skills in the area in question have improved.
For example, you might change, “I'm such a loser" into, “I'm gradually becoming a better chess player.”
3-5. Stay calm when your opponent tries to bait you.
Sometimes, the one with poor sportsmanship isn't actually you. You may lose one round to an opponent who immediately starts trash-talking you. Don't play into this destructive behavior. Try some self-soothing techniques to stay calm.
Chat with someone to distract yourself. Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You might also try counting silently to 10, 50, or whatever number works for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Fair\\n1-1. Be courteous.\\nShowing respect for others is essential if you want to stay on the healthy side of competition. This allows you to consider others’ feelings. That way, no one is overtly hurt or disrespected, even during a competition.\\nBasic ways to be courteous include saying “please” and “thank you,” taking turns, and apologizing for wrongdoing.\\nBasic courtesy can be seen when competing opponents shake one another’s hands before a match. Doing this sends the message that you respect the other person, even though you’re on different sides.\\nYou can also be courteous by practicing humility when you accomplish a goal. Avoid cheering for yourself or being too self-congratulatory.\\n1-2. Voice your opinions, but hear others out, too.\\nFeel free to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of being silenced or ignored. However, you should also extend this courtesy to others. State your opinions and needs, but be an active listener, too.\\nOnce you've tactfully said your part, let the other person talk. Make eye contact, turn to face them, and use open body language that encourages a dialogue.\\nSitting back and listening every now and then exhibits fairness. Plus, you might learn something from what others say.\\n1-3. Build on your opponent's ideas, but give them credit.\\nHealthy competition invites everyone to participate in brainstorming and innovating. Yet, you could burn bridges if you knowingly steal other people's ideas. Show fairness by giving credit to the original source, even if they are your biggest competitor.\\nFor example, you might say, “Jared came up with the idea of bringing our clients on-board periodically to get their input. I figured why not take that idea further and allow them to see project updates in real-time.”\\nKeep in mind that cheering on your coworkers and surrounding yourself with high-achievers will help you to be successful as well.\\n1-4. Play by the rules.\\nIf you want to compete in a constructive way, be fair in the way you play the game. Every competitor should have the same advantage, so don't sabotage others, spread rumors, cheat, or take actions that directly hinder their progress.\\nFollow the established standards in your activity or line of work. Breaking the rules may help you to win, but it may also ruin your reputation. Play fair and you'll earn other's respect and admiration.\\n2. Handling Victories Well\\n2-1. Resist the urge to boast.\\nBragging about your successes can annoy others and make you appear arrogant. Instead, humbly acknowledge your victories without much pomp and circumstance.\\nTry to avoid saying things like, \\\"That's right! You ate my dust!\\\" or calling your opponent a \\\"loser\\\" after winning a race.\\nThis doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate victories—just don't go out of your way to rub the loser’s nose in your victory.\\n2-2. Compliment your opponent's efforts.\\nEven if you surpassed your competition in the end, they still put up a fight. Give them credit for the energy they put into the competition. This goes a long way towards you earning other's respect and staying humble.\\nFor example, if you and another coworker both were up for a promotion, you might say, “Jake, you were a very worthy candidate. I know it's only a matter of time before you're promoted.”\\nBe sure you do this humbly and authentically. It shouldn't serve as a way for you to show off.\\n2-3. Recognize the contributions of your teammates.\\nDestructive competitors boast and claim all the credit for themselves. However, to compete in a non-destructive way, it's a good idea to acknowledge the help and cooperation you received from others—especially those who are on your side.\\nIf you're successful at something, be sure to identify others, such as teammates or mentors, who are responsible for helping you get the victory.\\nThis might sound like, “Thanks, everyone, but I couldn't have done it without Janice. Her talent was essential to the win.”\\nWhen you do this, you become a team-player. Showing respect and consideration for your teammates is just as important as being civil with your competitors.\\n2-4. Reflect on victories to gain insight.\\nAfter a victory, take some time to think about what went right and what could have been improved. This will help you to learn from the experience and improve your chance of more future successes. Ask yourself:\\nWhat did my team and I do well?\\nWhat do my team and I need to work on?\\n3. Dealing with Losses\\n3-1. Accept the outcome.\\nDon't lose your head and start complaining or accusing others if you experience a setback or failure. If the decision was mostly fair, acknowledge the loss and move forward.\\nBeing in denial or placing blame makes you look like a sore loser. It also takes the responsibility of your performance away from you and places it somewhere else.\\nBy accepting the outcome—whatever it may be—you show that you are okay with losing, and that the outcome isn't always what's most important.\\nThis suggestion is not relevant to situations when you feel like you were cheated or discriminated against in some way. In such situations, don't stay quiet. Take your grievances to the proper authorities.\\n3-2. Applaud when others win.\\nHealthy competition means you accept the fact that you won't always win, and that you can still congratulate others when they do. Politely pat the winners on the back to show that you're not a sore loser.\\nUse this strategy for applauding your own opponent and for congratulating friends who may enjoy successes that you don't.\\nKeep in mind that if you are gracious when others win, they are more likely to follow your lead and behave similarly when they lose.\\nYou can also use other people’s victories as examples to help you be successful in the future. Examine what they have done well and how you might do something similar.\\n3-3. Learn from your mistakes.\\nAs you get accustomed to losing, you'll notice that your biggest competitor is yourself. Your primary focus should be on steadily improving over time. Therefore, don't dwell too much on losses. Simply use them to evaluate your mistakes and apply what you learn to future situations.\\nFor example, if you don't get picked as first chair in this year's orchestra, get feedback to find out how you can better your skills. Practice, evaluate your progress, and try again next year.\\n3-4. Challenge negative self-talk.\\nIt's easy to fall into self-hatred when you're competing with someone and they win. “He's so skilled at chess,” becomes, “I'm such a loser.” When this happens, realize that someone else's success does not have to translate to your failure and change your tune.\\nYou might challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself about other activities you're good at, or even reflect on how your skills in the area in question have improved.\\nFor example, you might change, “I'm such a loser\\\" into, “I'm gradually becoming a better chess player.”\\n3-5. Stay calm when your opponent tries to bait you.\\nSometimes, the one with poor sportsmanship isn't actually you. You may lose one round to an opponent who immediately starts trash-talking you. Don't play into this destructive behavior. Try some self-soothing techniques to stay calm.\\nChat with someone to distract yourself. Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You might also try counting silently to 10, 50, or whatever number works for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether in sports, dating, academia, or the workplace, competition is a fact of life. For some, however, competition can turn into this “dog eat dog\\\" mentality that involves throwing others under the bus to find success. It doesn't have to be that way, though. Competition can be healthy and non-destructive—it all comes down to good sportsmanship. Try to exercise fairness in your competitions with others, but also learn to appropriately handle wins and losses. Do this and you'll find that you can compete with others without making enemies.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Fair\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be courteous.\", \"描述\": \"Showing respect for others is essential if you want to stay on the healthy side of competition. This allows you to consider others’ feelings. That way, no one is overtly hurt or disrespected, even during a competition.\\nBasic ways to be courteous include saying “please” and “thank you,” taking turns, and apologizing for wrongdoing.\\nBasic courtesy can be seen when competing opponents shake one another’s hands before a match. Doing this sends the message that you respect the other person, even though you’re on different sides.\\nYou can also be courteous by practicing humility when you accomplish a goal. Avoid cheering for yourself or being too self-congratulatory.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Voice your opinions, but hear others out, too.\", \"描述\": \"Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of being silenced or ignored. However, you should also extend this courtesy to others. State your opinions and needs, but be an active listener, too.\\nOnce you've tactfully said your part, let the other person talk. Make eye contact, turn to face them, and use open body language that encourages a dialogue.\\nSitting back and listening every now and then exhibits fairness. Plus, you might learn something from what others say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build on your opponent's ideas, but give them credit.\", \"描述\": \"Healthy competition invites everyone to participate in brainstorming and innovating. Yet, you could burn bridges if you knowingly steal other people's ideas. Show fairness by giving credit to the original source, even if they are your biggest competitor.\\nFor example, you might say, “Jared came up with the idea of bringing our clients on-board periodically to get their input. I figured why not take that idea further and allow them to see project updates in real-time.”\\nKeep in mind that cheering on your coworkers and surrounding yourself with high-achievers will help you to be successful as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play by the rules.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to compete in a constructive way, be fair in the way you play the game. Every competitor should have the same advantage, so don't sabotage others, spread rumors, cheat, or take actions that directly hinder their progress.\\nFollow the established standards in your activity or line of work. Breaking the rules may help you to win, but it may also ruin your reputation. Play fair and you'll earn other's respect and admiration.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling Victories Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to boast.\", \"描述\": \"Bragging about your successes can annoy others and make you appear arrogant. Instead, humbly acknowledge your victories without much pomp and circumstance.\\nTry to avoid saying things like, \\\"That's right! You ate my dust!\\\" or calling your opponent a \\\"loser\\\" after winning a race.\\nThis doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate victories—just don't go out of your way to rub the loser’s nose in your victory.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment your opponent's efforts.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you surpassed your competition in the end, they still put up a fight. Give them credit for the energy they put into the competition. This goes a long way towards you earning other's respect and staying humble.\\nFor example, if you and another coworker both were up for a promotion, you might say, “Jake, you were a very worthy candidate. I know it's only a matter of time before you're promoted.”\\nBe sure you do this humbly and authentically. It shouldn't serve as a way for you to show off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize the contributions of your teammates.\", \"描述\": \"Destructive competitors boast and claim all the credit for themselves. However, to compete in a non-destructive way, it's a good idea to acknowledge the help and cooperation you received from others—especially those who are on your side.\\nIf you're successful at something, be sure to identify others, such as teammates or mentors, who are responsible for helping you get the victory.\\nThis might sound like, “Thanks, everyone, but I couldn't have done it without Janice. Her talent was essential to the win.”\\nWhen you do this, you become a team-player. Showing respect and consideration for your teammates is just as important as being civil with your competitors.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reflect on victories to gain insight.\", \"描述\": \"After a victory, take some time to think about what went right and what could have been improved. This will help you to learn from the experience and improve your chance of more future successes. Ask yourself:\\nWhat did my team and I do well?\\nWhat do my team and I need to work on?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Losses\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"Don't lose your head and start complaining or accusing others if you experience a setback or failure. If the decision was mostly fair, acknowledge the loss and move forward.\\nBeing in denial or placing blame makes you look like a sore loser. It also takes the responsibility of your performance away from you and places it somewhere else.\\nBy accepting the outcome—whatever it may be—you show that you are okay with losing, and that the outcome isn't always what's most important.\\nThis suggestion is not relevant to situations when you feel like you were cheated or discriminated against in some way. In such situations, don't stay quiet. Take your grievances to the proper authorities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Applaud when others win.\", \"描述\": \"Healthy competition means you accept the fact that you won't always win, and that you can still congratulate others when they do. Politely pat the winners on the back to show that you're not a sore loser.\\nUse this strategy for applauding your own opponent and for congratulating friends who may enjoy successes that you don't.\\nKeep in mind that if you are gracious when others win, they are more likely to follow your lead and behave similarly when they lose.\\nYou can also use other people’s victories as examples to help you be successful in the future. Examine what they have done well and how you might do something similar.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn from your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"As you get accustomed to losing, you'll notice that your biggest competitor is yourself. Your primary focus should be on steadily improving over time. Therefore, don't dwell too much on losses. Simply use them to evaluate your mistakes and apply what you learn to future situations.\\nFor example, if you don't get picked as first chair in this year's orchestra, get feedback to find out how you can better your skills. Practice, evaluate your progress, and try again next year.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Challenge negative self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to fall into self-hatred when you're competing with someone and they win. “He's so skilled at chess,” becomes, “I'm such a loser.” When this happens, realize that someone else's success does not have to translate to your failure and change your tune.\\nYou might challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself about other activities you're good at, or even reflect on how your skills in the area in question have improved.\\nFor example, you might change, “I'm such a loser\\\" into, “I'm gradually becoming a better chess player.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay calm when your opponent tries to bait you.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the one with poor sportsmanship isn't actually you. You may lose one round to an opponent who immediately starts trash-talking you. Don't play into this destructive behavior. Try some self-soothing techniques to stay calm.\\nChat with someone to distract yourself. Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You might also try counting silently to 10, 50, or whatever number works for you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,626 | How to Be Concise | 1. Speaking Concisely
1-1. Plan before you speak.
Choose what you want to say before you say it. This will help you convey the most important points without beating around the bush. If you are giving a speech, write out a script and stick to it. If you are speaking off the cuff, take a brief moment to plan out the most important parts of what you want to say.
Think about how you would say something if you only have a few minutes. What do you need to include? What can you leave out?
For example, if you are giving a project update in a meeting, you probably don’t need to discuss all of the steps you took to work on something. Instead, talk about the results that you’ve achieved on the project so far.
1-2. Know your audience.
It’s important to know who is listening to you speak. This will help you determine how much explanation you need to give, or how you can cut corners.
For example, if you are talking with a colleague who understands your work, you don’t need to spend a lot of time explaining basic concepts. If you are speaking to a crowd who is unfamiliar with your work, you might need to describe more.
1-3. Convey the central idea first.
Start your talk with the most important idea. Give your audience the main headline of what you want to say. This also helps your audience follow your line of thinking. Your most important point won’t get lost.
People tend to listen most closely to the first 30 seconds of a speech, so make this first part count.
1-4. Skip unnecessary details.
Think about the details that the listener needs to know. Unless it is directly relevant, the listener probably doesn’t need to know the life history of someone in your story, or the color of a dog’s collar. Leave out these types of details.
1-5. Use active descriptions.
Choose meaningful words that say a lot. Stay away from passive sentence constructions, such as “There are” and “We have.” Make declarative statements that get to the point immediately. Choose ways of speaking that pack a lot of meaning in fewer words.
1-6. Stay focused.
Try not to get distracted when you’re speaking. Stay on topic without going off on a tangent about something not directly related to the topic at hand.
1-7. Pay attention to your speech.
Start listening to how long it takes you to get to the point. This will help you start figuring out where you can trim words and tendencies from your speech. Then you can work on being concise.
Do people often ask you to repeat yourself?
Do you often use “What I mean is…” when speaking to clarify your points?
Do you use words like “um” and “uh” a lot?
1-8. Practice speaking concisely.
When you are confident with your speaking skills, you are more likely to speak concisely and directly. If you feel nervous or you lack confidence, your speech may start to fill with “ums” and “uhs.”
Try practicing in front of a trusted friend. This person can give you feedback on your speech.
2. Writing Concisely
2-1. Plan out what you want to write.
Wordiness or vagueness can occur when you're unsure of what you want to say. Avoid a lack of clarity by making an outline before you write.
Pinpoint your main point and follow it with 3-5 supporting points.
2-2. Consider your audience.
Think about who will read your writing. Write appropriately so that your audience will catch your meaning.
For example, if you are writing something technical, consider the comprehension level of your audience. You may need to use space to explain concepts.
If you write a letter to the editor, keep in mind that your letter may be trimmed down anyway. Don’t let your letter’s meaning get changed because the newspaper editor cut out half of your words.
2-3. Know your word limit.
Most assigned written work has a word limit. This limit forces you to be concise. If you are not assigned a word limit, impose your own limit. Think about an appropriate length so that your reader won’t get bored.
2-4. Write in active language
Active language identifies meaning clearly and quickly in a sentence. People tend to understand active language more quickly. The active voice gives credit for action, declaring what happened.
For example, instead of writing, “The cat was chased by a dog,” write, “The dog chased the cat.”
You may still need to use the passive language in the event of delicate writing. For example, in this instance, “An error was made…,” passive wording softens the meaning.
2-5. Make each word serve a purpose.
Choose your words carefully so that each word has a specific function. If you can just as easily leave out a word or phrase without changing your meaning, do so.
2-6. Use the two-line rule.
The two-line rule refers to the length of your sentences. If your sentence takes up two or more lines on a sheet of paper (or typed on the computer), start looking at your phrasing to find unnecessary words. What can you cut out so that you convey the same meaning in one line?
If you still need most of the information in the sentence, consider breaking it into two shorter sentences.
3. Editing Your Work
3-1. Eliminate unnecessary and redundant words.
You may use more words than necessary to explain your idea. More often than not, these words are filler, taking up valuable space in your writing. Take out redundancy and extra explanations from your writing.
Some typical filler words are: “just,” “some,” “that,” “but,” and “and then.”
Rearrange phrases to the possessive form. You might use a phrase like “the leaves of the plant.” Rearrange this to the possessive form, writing “the plant’s leaves” instead. This retains the same meaning and eliminates two unnecessary words.
3-2. Replace wordy phrases with precise and concise words.
Take out lengthy descriptions and replace them with more accurate words. For example, Say you wrote, "It is not the case that all historical kings, queens, and princes lived in very large and very beautiful castles." This can be shortened to: "Not all royalty lived in extravagant castles."
Use a thesaurus to find a descriptive synonym for a general term.
Don’t go overboard with choosing descriptors. In many cases, the simpler word or phrase is best. The reader will grasp your meaning more quickly. For example, replace “utilize” with “use,” or replace “terminate” with “end.”
3-3. Avoid excessive use of common modifiers.
Some modifiers, such as "very" and "really,” are overused to the point where they have become dull and add no extra feeling to sentences. Eliminate many of these without changing the meaning of the sentence.
3-4. Print out a hard copy for editing.
Go old school with your writing and work from a hard copy. It is satisfying to cross out unnecessary words with a red pen. See how much you can cut out without losing your original meaning.
3-5. Read your work out loud.
Take a few minutes to listen for unnecessary words. Does the writing flow naturally as you say it out loud?
Ask someone to listen to you reading your work. He might hear other unnecessary or redundant words that you don’t catch.
4. Practicing Concise Communication
4-1. Join Toastmasters.
Toastmasters is an international organization that teaches and hones public speaking and leadership skills. You are given regular speaking assignments and will perform them in front of a supportive group.
Search the Toastmasters website to find a local chapter.
4-2. Record yourself speaking.
Listen to your speeches and presentations to catch instances of when you say “um,” “like,” and “uh.” Once you’re aware of these phrases, you will be more likely to eliminate them from your speech.
4-3. Get an editor.
It may help to have someone else look at your writing. An editor can give you pointers on how to streamline your writing. This person is less attached to your writing and is more likely to suggest cuts that you might not make yourself.
4-4. Work on body language.
When you have confident body language, you will be more confident in your speech. Confident body language include:
Regular eye contact
Holding your shoulders and back straight
No fidgeting
Smiling
Relaxed muscles
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Speaking Concisely\\n1-1. Plan before you speak.\\nChoose what you want to say before you say it. This will help you convey the most important points without beating around the bush. If you are giving a speech, write out a script and stick to it. If you are speaking off the cuff, take a brief moment to plan out the most important parts of what you want to say.\\nThink about how you would say something if you only have a few minutes. What do you need to include? What can you leave out?\\nFor example, if you are giving a project update in a meeting, you probably don’t need to discuss all of the steps you took to work on something. Instead, talk about the results that you’ve achieved on the project so far.\\n1-2. Know your audience.\\nIt’s important to know who is listening to you speak. This will help you determine how much explanation you need to give, or how you can cut corners.\\nFor example, if you are talking with a colleague who understands your work, you don’t need to spend a lot of time explaining basic concepts. If you are speaking to a crowd who is unfamiliar with your work, you might need to describe more.\\n1-3. Convey the central idea first.\\nStart your talk with the most important idea. Give your audience the main headline of what you want to say. This also helps your audience follow your line of thinking. Your most important point won’t get lost.\\nPeople tend to listen most closely to the first 30 seconds of a speech, so make this first part count.\\n1-4. Skip unnecessary details.\\nThink about the details that the listener needs to know. Unless it is directly relevant, the listener probably doesn’t need to know the life history of someone in your story, or the color of a dog’s collar. Leave out these types of details.\\n1-5. Use active descriptions.\\nChoose meaningful words that say a lot. Stay away from passive sentence constructions, such as “There are” and “We have.” Make declarative statements that get to the point immediately. Choose ways of speaking that pack a lot of meaning in fewer words.\\n1-6. Stay focused.\\nTry not to get distracted when you’re speaking. Stay on topic without going off on a tangent about something not directly related to the topic at hand.\\n1-7. Pay attention to your speech.\\nStart listening to how long it takes you to get to the point. This will help you start figuring out where you can trim words and tendencies from your speech. Then you can work on being concise.\\nDo people often ask you to repeat yourself?\\nDo you often use “What I mean is…” when speaking to clarify your points?\\nDo you use words like “um” and “uh” a lot?\\n1-8. Practice speaking concisely.\\nWhen you are confident with your speaking skills, you are more likely to speak concisely and directly. If you feel nervous or you lack confidence, your speech may start to fill with “ums” and “uhs.”\\nTry practicing in front of a trusted friend. This person can give you feedback on your speech.\\n2. Writing Concisely\\n2-1. Plan out what you want to write.\\nWordiness or vagueness can occur when you're unsure of what you want to say. Avoid a lack of clarity by making an outline before you write.\\nPinpoint your main point and follow it with 3-5 supporting points.\\n2-2. Consider your audience.\\nThink about who will read your writing. Write appropriately so that your audience will catch your meaning.\\nFor example, if you are writing something technical, consider the comprehension level of your audience. You may need to use space to explain concepts.\\nIf you write a letter to the editor, keep in mind that your letter may be trimmed down anyway. Don’t let your letter’s meaning get changed because the newspaper editor cut out half of your words.\\n2-3. Know your word limit.\\nMost assigned written work has a word limit. This limit forces you to be concise. If you are not assigned a word limit, impose your own limit. Think about an appropriate length so that your reader won’t get bored.\\n2-4. Write in active language\\nActive language identifies meaning clearly and quickly in a sentence. People tend to understand active language more quickly. The active voice gives credit for action, declaring what happened.\\nFor example, instead of writing, “The cat was chased by a dog,” write, “The dog chased the cat.”\\nYou may still need to use the passive language in the event of delicate writing. For example, in this instance, “An error was made…,” passive wording softens the meaning.\\n2-5. Make each word serve a purpose.\\nChoose your words carefully so that each word has a specific function. If you can just as easily leave out a word or phrase without changing your meaning, do so.\\n2-6. Use the two-line rule.\\nThe two-line rule refers to the length of your sentences. If your sentence takes up two or more lines on a sheet of paper (or typed on the computer), start looking at your phrasing to find unnecessary words. What can you cut out so that you convey the same meaning in one line? \\nIf you still need most of the information in the sentence, consider breaking it into two shorter sentences.\\n3. Editing Your Work\\n3-1. Eliminate unnecessary and redundant words.\\nYou may use more words than necessary to explain your idea. More often than not, these words are filler, taking up valuable space in your writing. Take out redundancy and extra explanations from your writing.\\nSome typical filler words are: “just,” “some,” “that,” “but,” and “and then.”\\nRearrange phrases to the possessive form. You might use a phrase like “the leaves of the plant.” Rearrange this to the possessive form, writing “the plant’s leaves” instead. This retains the same meaning and eliminates two unnecessary words.\\n3-2. Replace wordy phrases with precise and concise words.\\nTake out lengthy descriptions and replace them with more accurate words. For example, Say you wrote, \\\"It is not the case that all historical kings, queens, and princes lived in very large and very beautiful castles.\\\" This can be shortened to: \\\"Not all royalty lived in extravagant castles.\\\"\\nUse a thesaurus to find a descriptive synonym for a general term.\\nDon’t go overboard with choosing descriptors. In many cases, the simpler word or phrase is best. The reader will grasp your meaning more quickly. For example, replace “utilize” with “use,” or replace “terminate” with “end.”\\n3-3. Avoid excessive use of common modifiers.\\nSome modifiers, such as \\\"very\\\" and \\\"really,” are overused to the point where they have become dull and add no extra feeling to sentences. Eliminate many of these without changing the meaning of the sentence.\\n3-4. Print out a hard copy for editing.\\nGo old school with your writing and work from a hard copy. It is satisfying to cross out unnecessary words with a red pen. See how much you can cut out without losing your original meaning.\\n3-5. Read your work out loud.\\nTake a few minutes to listen for unnecessary words. Does the writing flow naturally as you say it out loud?\\nAsk someone to listen to you reading your work. He might hear other unnecessary or redundant words that you don’t catch.\\n4. Practicing Concise Communication\\n4-1. Join Toastmasters.\\nToastmasters is an international organization that teaches and hones public speaking and leadership skills. You are given regular speaking assignments and will perform them in front of a supportive group.\\nSearch the Toastmasters website to find a local chapter.\\n4-2. Record yourself speaking.\\nListen to your speeches and presentations to catch instances of when you say “um,” “like,” and “uh.” Once you’re aware of these phrases, you will be more likely to eliminate them from your speech.\\n4-3. Get an editor.\\nIt may help to have someone else look at your writing. An editor can give you pointers on how to streamline your writing. This person is less attached to your writing and is more likely to suggest cuts that you might not make yourself.\\n4-4. Work on body language.\\nWhen you have confident body language, you will be more confident in your speech. Confident body language include:\\nRegular eye contact\\nHolding your shoulders and back straight\\nNo fidgeting\\nSmiling\\nRelaxed muscles\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In this age of information overload, being concise is a valuable skill. Whether you’re speaking at a meeting, giving a presentation, or writing an article, you need to be heard and understood quickly before you lose your audience’s attention. How can you convey your main points without overwhelming your audience with irrelevant information? Plan carefully and edit yourself in order to get to the point as quickly as possible without losing important details.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speaking Concisely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Choose what you want to say before you say it. This will help you convey the most important points without beating around the bush. If you are giving a speech, write out a script and stick to it. If you are speaking off the cuff, take a brief moment to plan out the most important parts of what you want to say.\\nThink about how you would say something if you only have a few minutes. What do you need to include? What can you leave out?\\nFor example, if you are giving a project update in a meeting, you probably don’t need to discuss all of the steps you took to work on something. Instead, talk about the results that you’ve achieved on the project so far.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know your audience.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to know who is listening to you speak. This will help you determine how much explanation you need to give, or how you can cut corners.\\nFor example, if you are talking with a colleague who understands your work, you don’t need to spend a lot of time explaining basic concepts. If you are speaking to a crowd who is unfamiliar with your work, you might need to describe more.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Convey the central idea first.\", \"描述\": \"Start your talk with the most important idea. Give your audience the main headline of what you want to say. This also helps your audience follow your line of thinking. Your most important point won’t get lost.\\nPeople tend to listen most closely to the first 30 seconds of a speech, so make this first part count.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Skip unnecessary details.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the details that the listener needs to know. Unless it is directly relevant, the listener probably doesn’t need to know the life history of someone in your story, or the color of a dog’s collar. Leave out these types of details.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use active descriptions.\", \"描述\": \"Choose meaningful words that say a lot. Stay away from passive sentence constructions, such as “There are” and “We have.” Make declarative statements that get to the point immediately. Choose ways of speaking that pack a lot of meaning in fewer words.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay focused.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to get distracted when you’re speaking. Stay on topic without going off on a tangent about something not directly related to the topic at hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your speech.\", \"描述\": \"Start listening to how long it takes you to get to the point. This will help you start figuring out where you can trim words and tendencies from your speech. Then you can work on being concise.\\nDo people often ask you to repeat yourself?\\nDo you often use “What I mean is…” when speaking to clarify your points?\\nDo you use words like “um” and “uh” a lot?\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Practice speaking concisely.\", \"描述\": \"When you are confident with your speaking skills, you are more likely to speak concisely and directly. If you feel nervous or you lack confidence, your speech may start to fill with “ums” and “uhs.”\\nTry practicing in front of a trusted friend. This person can give you feedback on your speech.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Writing Concisely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan out what you want to write.\", \"描述\": \"Wordiness or vagueness can occur when you're unsure of what you want to say. Avoid a lack of clarity by making an outline before you write.\\nPinpoint your main point and follow it with 3-5 supporting points.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your audience.\", \"描述\": \"Think about who will read your writing. Write appropriately so that your audience will catch your meaning.\\nFor example, if you are writing something technical, consider the comprehension level of your audience. You may need to use space to explain concepts.\\nIf you write a letter to the editor, keep in mind that your letter may be trimmed down anyway. Don’t let your letter’s meaning get changed because the newspaper editor cut out half of your words.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your word limit.\", \"描述\": \"Most assigned written work has a word limit. This limit forces you to be concise. If you are not assigned a word limit, impose your own limit. Think about an appropriate length so that your reader won’t get bored.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write in active language\", \"描述\": \"Active language identifies meaning clearly and quickly in a sentence. People tend to understand active language more quickly. The active voice gives credit for action, declaring what happened.\\nFor example, instead of writing, “The cat was chased by a dog,” write, “The dog chased the cat.”\\nYou may still need to use the passive language in the event of delicate writing. For example, in this instance, “An error was made…,” passive wording softens the meaning.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make each word serve a purpose.\", \"描述\": \"Choose your words carefully so that each word has a specific function. If you can just as easily leave out a word or phrase without changing your meaning, do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use the two-line rule.\", \"描述\": \"The two-line rule refers to the length of your sentences. If your sentence takes up two or more lines on a sheet of paper (or typed on the computer), start looking at your phrasing to find unnecessary words. What can you cut out so that you convey the same meaning in one line? \\nIf you still need most of the information in the sentence, consider breaking it into two shorter sentences.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Editing Your Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eliminate unnecessary and redundant words.\", \"描述\": \"You may use more words than necessary to explain your idea. More often than not, these words are filler, taking up valuable space in your writing. Take out redundancy and extra explanations from your writing.\\nSome typical filler words are: “just,” “some,” “that,” “but,” and “and then.”\\nRearrange phrases to the possessive form. You might use a phrase like “the leaves of the plant.” Rearrange this to the possessive form, writing “the plant’s leaves” instead. This retains the same meaning and eliminates two unnecessary words.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Replace wordy phrases with precise and concise words.\", \"描述\": \"Take out lengthy descriptions and replace them with more accurate words. For example, Say you wrote, \\\"It is not the case that all historical kings, queens, and princes lived in very large and very beautiful castles.\\\" This can be shortened to: \\\"Not all royalty lived in extravagant castles.\\\"\\nUse a thesaurus to find a descriptive synonym for a general term.\\nDon’t go overboard with choosing descriptors. In many cases, the simpler word or phrase is best. The reader will grasp your meaning more quickly. For example, replace “utilize” with “use,” or replace “terminate” with “end.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid excessive use of common modifiers.\", \"描述\": \"Some modifiers, such as \\\"very\\\" and \\\"really,” are overused to the point where they have become dull and add no extra feeling to sentences. Eliminate many of these without changing the meaning of the sentence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Print out a hard copy for editing.\", \"描述\": \"Go old school with your writing and work from a hard copy. It is satisfying to cross out unnecessary words with a red pen. See how much you can cut out without losing your original meaning.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Read your work out loud.\", \"描述\": \"Take a few minutes to listen for unnecessary words. Does the writing flow naturally as you say it out loud?\\nAsk someone to listen to you reading your work. He might hear other unnecessary or redundant words that you don’t catch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practicing Concise Communication\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join Toastmasters.\", \"描述\": \"Toastmasters is an international organization that teaches and hones public speaking and leadership skills. You are given regular speaking assignments and will perform them in front of a supportive group.\\nSearch the Toastmasters website to find a local chapter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Record yourself speaking.\", \"描述\": \"Listen to your speeches and presentations to catch instances of when you say “um,” “like,” and “uh.” Once you’re aware of these phrases, you will be more likely to eliminate them from your speech.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get an editor.\", \"描述\": \"It may help to have someone else look at your writing. An editor can give you pointers on how to streamline your writing. This person is less attached to your writing and is more likely to suggest cuts that you might not make yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on body language.\", \"描述\": \"When you have confident body language, you will be more confident in your speech. Confident body language include:\\nRegular eye contact\\nHolding your shoulders and back straight\\nNo fidgeting\\nSmiling\\nRelaxed muscles\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,627 | How to Be Confident | 1. Appearing Confident
1-1. Look the part.
If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a winner, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:
Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.
Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!
Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.
After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.
1-2. Perfect your posture.
How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.
You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.
1-3. Smile.
Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.
If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.
1-4. Make eye contact.
It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.
Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. If you can't do it for you, do it for them!
1-5. Have approachable body language.
If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable!
Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.
Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.
1-6. Hold your gaze.
Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too!
wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile. You're off the hook.
2. Thinking Confidently
2-1. Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.
No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality.
Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.
Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!
Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.
Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.
2-2. Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.
Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!
Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.
2-3. Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.
Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.
Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.
Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.
2-4. See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.
Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.
Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.
2-5. Remember you were born with it.
No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned.
Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. "You" exists apart from any other judgment.
2-6. Get out of your head.
A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?
So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.
3. Practicing Confidence
3-1. Embrace your interests.
If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects—whatever it is that catches your interest.
Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.
Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.
3-2. Talk to strangers.
Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.
No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, "Hey!", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.
You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?
3-3. Don't over-apologize.
Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.
Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting to "I'm sorry."
Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should only be said with care.
3-4. Accept compliments gracefully.
Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.
Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful.
3-5. Build your confidence by helping others.
Take time to pay someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.
Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" might not get the best response.
3-6. Drop those who bring you down.
It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit. And now.
It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.
3-7. Slow down.
A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too!
Point number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.
Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.
3-8. Expect success.
A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.
Right now you're probably saying, "I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.
Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
3-9. Take risks.
Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.
Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.
Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.
Tips
Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.
Make goals for yourself, not expectations.
When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.
Warnings
Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.
Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.
Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[11]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Appearing Confident\\n1-1. Look the part.\\nIf you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a winner, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:\\nDevote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.\\nDress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!\\nBe careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.\\nAfter all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.\\n1-2. Perfect your posture.\\nHow you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.\\nYou won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.\\n1-3. Smile.\\nKeep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.\\nIf you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.\\n1-4. Make eye contact.\\nIt's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.\\nOur eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. If you can't do it for you, do it for them!\\n1-5. Have approachable body language.\\nIf you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable!\\nKeep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.\\nDon’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.\\n1-6. Hold your gaze.\\nNow that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too!\\nwikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile. You're off the hook.\\n2. Thinking Confidently\\n2-1. Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.\\nNo matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality.\\nThink back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.\\nRemember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!\\nThink about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.\\nNow write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.\\n2-2. Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.\\nTake a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are \\\"no\\\" and \\\"yes,\\\" respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!\\nHere's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.\\n2-3. Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.\\nSome people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.\\nHere's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.\\nStop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.\\n2-4. See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.\\nHaving confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.\\nOdds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.\\n2-5. Remember you were born with it.\\nNo, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned.\\nTap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. \\\"You\\\" is good. \\\"You\\\" exists apart from any other judgment.\\n2-6. Get out of your head.\\nA lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?\\nSo much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.\\n3. Practicing Confidence\\n3-1. Embrace your interests.\\nIf there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects—whatever it is that catches your interest.\\nDon't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.\\nTake up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.\\n3-2. Talk to strangers.\\nStraight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.\\nNo, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, \\\"Hey!\\\", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.\\nYou don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?\\n3-3. Don't over-apologize.\\nBeing able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.\\nUse workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say \\\"I hope this hasn't been too much trouble\\\" instead of automatically reverting to \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\\nApologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of \\\"I'm sorry\\\" like \\\"I love you.\\\" It should only be said with care.\\n3-4. Accept compliments gracefully.\\nDon't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say \\\"thank you.\\\" Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.\\nPay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is \\\"even\\\" and you haven't been too prideful.\\n3-5. Build your confidence by helping others.\\nTake time to pay someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.\\nLots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- \\\"Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?\\\" might not get the best response.\\n3-6. Drop those who bring you down.\\nIt's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit. And now.\\nIt's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.\\n3-7. Slow down.\\nA lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too!\\nPoint number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.\\nPoint number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.\\n3-8. Expect success.\\nA lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.\\nRight now you're probably saying, \\\"I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!\\\" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.\\nFocus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.\\n3-9. Take risks.\\nSometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.\\nFailure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.\\nGo out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.\\nTips\\nSpeak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.\\nMake goals for yourself, not expectations.\\nWhen you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.\\nWarnings\\nBeing cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.\\nDo not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.\\nBeing confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appearing Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look the part.\", \"描述\": \"If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a winner, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:\\nDevote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.\\nDress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!\\nBe careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.\\nAfter all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Perfect your posture.\", \"描述\": \"How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.\\nYou won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.\\nIf you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.\\nOur eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. If you can't do it for you, do it for them!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have approachable body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable!\\nKeep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.\\nDon’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hold your gaze.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too!\\nwikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile. You're off the hook.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thinking Confidently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality.\\nThink back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.\\nRemember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!\\nThink about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.\\nNow write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are \\\"no\\\" and \\\"yes,\\\" respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!\\nHere's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.\\nHere's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.\\nStop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.\", \"描述\": \"Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.\\nOdds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember you were born with it.\", \"描述\": \"No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned.\\nTap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. \\\"You\\\" is good. \\\"You\\\" exists apart from any other judgment.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get out of your head.\", \"描述\": \"A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?\\nSo much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace your interests.\", \"描述\": \"If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects—whatever it is that catches your interest.\\nDon't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.\\nTake up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to strangers.\", \"描述\": \"Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.\\nNo, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, \\\"Hey!\\\", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.\\nYou don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't over-apologize.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.\\nUse workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say \\\"I hope this hasn't been too much trouble\\\" instead of automatically reverting to \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\\nApologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of \\\"I'm sorry\\\" like \\\"I love you.\\\" It should only be said with care.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept compliments gracefully.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say \\\"thank you.\\\" Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.\\nPay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is \\\"even\\\" and you haven't been too prideful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build your confidence by helping others.\", \"描述\": \"Take time to pay someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.\\nLots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- \\\"Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?\\\" might not get the best response.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Drop those who bring you down.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit. And now.\\nIt's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Slow down.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too!\\nPoint number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.\\nPoint number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Expect success.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.\\nRight now you're probably saying, \\\"I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!\\\" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.\\nFocus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Take risks.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.\\nFailure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.\\nGo out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.\\n\", \"Make goals for yourself, not expectations.\\n\", \"When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.\\n\", \"Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.\\n\", \"Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,628 | How to Be Confident Around Girls if You're Shy | 1. Overcoming Shyness
1-1. Understand what it means to be shy.
Characteristics of being shy can be manifested in different ways under different circumstances for each individual. Knowing what situations cause your feelings of shyness can help you address the symptoms of shyness when they occur:
Being hesitant to speak up in social situations
Mumbling or talking softly
Avoiding social gatherings
Being overly talkative due to nervousness.
1-2. Recognize what situations make you feel shy.
Understanding that almost everyone feels shy at some point can help you overcome your own feelings of shyness. It is natural to be nervous under uncertain circumstances. When you can mentally prepare for a situation it is less likely to make you nervous and shy because you know what to expect. Plan ahead and you’ll be ready to take on challenges as they are no longer unknowns.
1-3. Change your internal monologue.
If you are constantly saying negative things about yourself in your head, then you will have an extremely hard time ever feeling confident. Even though it isn’t true, telling yourself phrases like “I’m just socially awkward” or “Nobody will ever like me, I’m too weird” will make you believe you are not worthy of attention from a girl. Instead create a mantra that builds you up:
“I’m awesome!”
“I like talking to everyone!”
“I am going to meet new people today.”
1-4. Avoid over-analyzing what people are saying.
Many times shyness is a result of perceived perceptions. People think that others see them a certain way and make that their reality, when in fact, no one is having the thoughts you believe they are. Take people for their word and don’t worry about what someone might be thinking.
1-5. Focus your attention on the people you’re talking to.
Instead of centering the conversation around you, talk to and about other people. Avoid starting sentences with “I” and talk about the other person’s interests instead. If you’re not thinking about yourself, it is less likely you will find yourself feeling shy!
1-6. Have a good time!
When you are happy and enjoying yourself it is much less likely that you will feel shy. Let yourself have fun and don’t be afraid to relax.
2. Becoming Self-Confident
2-1. Dress to impress.
It is important that you feel good about your clothing and style to present yourself in the best light. It doesn’t matter what you wear as long as it feels good to you. There is no one style that says “I’m confident,” but if you believe that you wear it well, you will!
2-2. Educate yourself on topics you’re interested in.
Being able to discuss a topic in detail will give you the confidence to begin a conversation with many different people. Learn more than just the headlines of a news story and you can discuss the details with several groups of individuals.
2-3. Make eye contact when speaking to someone.
Communication is about so much more than words. Sometimes what we say is less important than how we say it. Make sure that you are letting the people you talk to know you care about them by connecting with them visually throughout your conversation.
2-4. Set easy goals for yourself and complete them.
Start off by making a point to say “Hi” to a girl you want to talk to. Open the door for future conversations by taking small steps. Don’t expect to be the head cheerleader’s best friend if you’ve never talked to her before. You need to build up confidence by introducing yourself to lots of people to get comfortable talking to lots of girls.
2-5. Practice talking in the mirror.
Watch your facial expressions and think about what responses you would have in a particular conversation. Knowing what you might say can help you prepare for a great conversation. Just a simple smile at yourself each day can do wonders for your self esteem!
3. Using Shyness to Your Advantage
3-1. Be honest about your shyness.
When you introduce yourself to a girl, let her know that you are trying to overcome being shy. Many girls find guys who are shy extremely attractive. Let your shyness be a way in and not something that keeps you out. Try one of these opening lines:
"There's so many people here, it's hard to find someone to talk to because I'm kinda shy."
"Can I sit with you, I'm shy and just need a quiet place to relax."
"I'm terrible at meeting new people, can we pretend we know each other so it isn't so awkward?"
3-2. Make a joke about being shy.
When you are having a conversation use the fact that you are shy as a way to poke fun at yourself.
"Being shy always makes me feel small, do I look little to you?
"I would tell you a joke, but I'm too shy and always mess up the punch lines"
"If I weren't shy it would be a lot easier to find out what you like"
3-3. Bring a friend to be your wingman.
Sometimes having a friend by your side can make it much easier to approach a girl. Ask a friend you trust to help introduce you to new people and start conversations.
3-4. Live in the moment.
Don't worry about what might happen in the future of your conversation; focus on the here and now. It is easier for the conversation to flow if you are concentrating on the current topic and not planning the future.
Tips
Keep your thoughts positive and you’ll feel more confident.
Focus all your attention on the person you are talking to, so you are not focusing on what you may or may not be doing as that is awkward.
Take it slow and don’t try to change yourself overnight.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Overcoming Shyness\\n1-1. Understand what it means to be shy.\\nCharacteristics of being shy can be manifested in different ways under different circumstances for each individual. Knowing what situations cause your feelings of shyness can help you address the symptoms of shyness when they occur:\\nBeing hesitant to speak up in social situations\\nMumbling or talking softly\\nAvoiding social gatherings\\nBeing overly talkative due to nervousness.\\n1-2. Recognize what situations make you feel shy.\\nUnderstanding that almost everyone feels shy at some point can help you overcome your own feelings of shyness. It is natural to be nervous under uncertain circumstances. When you can mentally prepare for a situation it is less likely to make you nervous and shy because you know what to expect. Plan ahead and you’ll be ready to take on challenges as they are no longer unknowns.\\n1-3. Change your internal monologue.\\nIf you are constantly saying negative things about yourself in your head, then you will have an extremely hard time ever feeling confident. Even though it isn’t true, telling yourself phrases like “I’m just socially awkward” or “Nobody will ever like me, I’m too weird” will make you believe you are not worthy of attention from a girl. Instead create a mantra that builds you up:\\n“I’m awesome!”\\n“I like talking to everyone!”\\n“I am going to meet new people today.”\\n1-4. Avoid over-analyzing what people are saying.\\nMany times shyness is a result of perceived perceptions. People think that others see them a certain way and make that their reality, when in fact, no one is having the thoughts you believe they are. Take people for their word and don’t worry about what someone might be thinking.\\n1-5. Focus your attention on the people you’re talking to.\\nInstead of centering the conversation around you, talk to and about other people. Avoid starting sentences with “I” and talk about the other person’s interests instead. If you’re not thinking about yourself, it is less likely you will find yourself feeling shy!\\n1-6. Have a good time!\\nWhen you are happy and enjoying yourself it is much less likely that you will feel shy. Let yourself have fun and don’t be afraid to relax.\\n2. Becoming Self-Confident\\n2-1. Dress to impress.\\nIt is important that you feel good about your clothing and style to present yourself in the best light. It doesn’t matter what you wear as long as it feels good to you. There is no one style that says “I’m confident,” but if you believe that you wear it well, you will!\\n2-2. Educate yourself on topics you’re interested in.\\nBeing able to discuss a topic in detail will give you the confidence to begin a conversation with many different people. Learn more than just the headlines of a news story and you can discuss the details with several groups of individuals.\\n2-3. Make eye contact when speaking to someone.\\nCommunication is about so much more than words. Sometimes what we say is less important than how we say it. Make sure that you are letting the people you talk to know you care about them by connecting with them visually throughout your conversation.\\n2-4. Set easy goals for yourself and complete them.\\nStart off by making a point to say “Hi” to a girl you want to talk to. Open the door for future conversations by taking small steps. Don’t expect to be the head cheerleader’s best friend if you’ve never talked to her before. You need to build up confidence by introducing yourself to lots of people to get comfortable talking to lots of girls.\\n2-5. Practice talking in the mirror.\\nWatch your facial expressions and think about what responses you would have in a particular conversation. Knowing what you might say can help you prepare for a great conversation. Just a simple smile at yourself each day can do wonders for your self esteem!\\n3. Using Shyness to Your Advantage\\n3-1. Be honest about your shyness.\\nWhen you introduce yourself to a girl, let her know that you are trying to overcome being shy. Many girls find guys who are shy extremely attractive. Let your shyness be a way in and not something that keeps you out. Try one of these opening lines:\\n\\\"There's so many people here, it's hard to find someone to talk to because I'm kinda shy.\\\"\\n\\\"Can I sit with you, I'm shy and just need a quiet place to relax.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm terrible at meeting new people, can we pretend we know each other so it isn't so awkward?\\\"\\n3-2. Make a joke about being shy.\\nWhen you are having a conversation use the fact that you are shy as a way to poke fun at yourself. \\n\\\"Being shy always makes me feel small, do I look little to you?\\n\\\"I would tell you a joke, but I'm too shy and always mess up the punch lines\\\"\\n\\\"If I weren't shy it would be a lot easier to find out what you like\\\"\\n3-3. Bring a friend to be your wingman.\\nSometimes having a friend by your side can make it much easier to approach a girl. Ask a friend you trust to help introduce you to new people and start conversations.\\n3-4. Live in the moment.\\nDon't worry about what might happen in the future of your conversation; focus on the here and now. It is easier for the conversation to flow if you are concentrating on the current topic and not planning the future.\\nTips\\nKeep your thoughts positive and you’ll feel more confident.\\nFocus all your attention on the person you are talking to, so you are not focusing on what you may or may not be doing as that is awkward.\\nTake it slow and don’t try to change yourself overnight.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Feeling confident around girls is something many guys struggle with, but it doesn’t mean you are destined to a lifetime of loneliness. Being shy creates a reluctance to engage socially for fear of becoming embarrassed. Overcoming shyness is about putting your focus and energy outward during a conversation with a girl. If you work to control your feelings of shyness, and then take steps to build your confidence, you can be the life of the party.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Shyness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what it means to be shy.\", \"描述\": \"Characteristics of being shy can be manifested in different ways under different circumstances for each individual. Knowing what situations cause your feelings of shyness can help you address the symptoms of shyness when they occur:\\nBeing hesitant to speak up in social situations\\nMumbling or talking softly\\nAvoiding social gatherings\\nBeing overly talkative due to nervousness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize what situations make you feel shy.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding that almost everyone feels shy at some point can help you overcome your own feelings of shyness. It is natural to be nervous under uncertain circumstances. When you can mentally prepare for a situation it is less likely to make you nervous and shy because you know what to expect. Plan ahead and you’ll be ready to take on challenges as they are no longer unknowns.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your internal monologue.\", \"描述\": \"If you are constantly saying negative things about yourself in your head, then you will have an extremely hard time ever feeling confident. Even though it isn’t true, telling yourself phrases like “I’m just socially awkward” or “Nobody will ever like me, I’m too weird” will make you believe you are not worthy of attention from a girl. Instead create a mantra that builds you up:\\n“I’m awesome!”\\n“I like talking to everyone!”\\n“I am going to meet new people today.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid over-analyzing what people are saying.\", \"描述\": \"Many times shyness is a result of perceived perceptions. People think that others see them a certain way and make that their reality, when in fact, no one is having the thoughts you believe they are. Take people for their word and don’t worry about what someone might be thinking.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus your attention on the people you’re talking to.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of centering the conversation around you, talk to and about other people. Avoid starting sentences with “I” and talk about the other person’s interests instead. If you’re not thinking about yourself, it is less likely you will find yourself feeling shy!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a good time!\", \"描述\": \"When you are happy and enjoying yourself it is much less likely that you will feel shy. Let yourself have fun and don’t be afraid to relax.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Self-Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"It is important that you feel good about your clothing and style to present yourself in the best light. It doesn’t matter what you wear as long as it feels good to you. There is no one style that says “I’m confident,” but if you believe that you wear it well, you will!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself on topics you’re interested in.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to discuss a topic in detail will give you the confidence to begin a conversation with many different people. Learn more than just the headlines of a news story and you can discuss the details with several groups of individuals.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact when speaking to someone.\", \"描述\": \"Communication is about so much more than words. Sometimes what we say is less important than how we say it. Make sure that you are letting the people you talk to know you care about them by connecting with them visually throughout your conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set easy goals for yourself and complete them.\", \"描述\": \"Start off by making a point to say “Hi” to a girl you want to talk to. Open the door for future conversations by taking small steps. Don’t expect to be the head cheerleader’s best friend if you’ve never talked to her before. You need to build up confidence by introducing yourself to lots of people to get comfortable talking to lots of girls.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice talking in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Watch your facial expressions and think about what responses you would have in a particular conversation. Knowing what you might say can help you prepare for a great conversation. Just a simple smile at yourself each day can do wonders for your self esteem!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Shyness to Your Advantage\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest about your shyness.\", \"描述\": \"When you introduce yourself to a girl, let her know that you are trying to overcome being shy. Many girls find guys who are shy extremely attractive. Let your shyness be a way in and not something that keeps you out. Try one of these opening lines:\\n\\\"There's so many people here, it's hard to find someone to talk to because I'm kinda shy.\\\"\\n\\\"Can I sit with you, I'm shy and just need a quiet place to relax.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm terrible at meeting new people, can we pretend we know each other so it isn't so awkward?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a joke about being shy.\", \"描述\": \"When you are having a conversation use the fact that you are shy as a way to poke fun at yourself. \\n\\\"Being shy always makes me feel small, do I look little to you?\\n\\\"I would tell you a joke, but I'm too shy and always mess up the punch lines\\\"\\n\\\"If I weren't shy it would be a lot easier to find out what you like\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring a friend to be your wingman.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes having a friend by your side can make it much easier to approach a girl. Ask a friend you trust to help introduce you to new people and start conversations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Live in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"Don't worry about what might happen in the future of your conversation; focus on the here and now. It is easier for the conversation to flow if you are concentrating on the current topic and not planning the future.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep your thoughts positive and you’ll feel more confident.\\n\", \"Focus all your attention on the person you are talking to, so you are not focusing on what you may or may not be doing as that is awkward.\\n\", \"Take it slow and don’t try to change yourself overnight.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,629 | How to Be Confident Around Guys | 1. Starting Conversations with Guys
1-1. Ask about their interests.
You can begin to become confident around guys by starting a conversation with them. There is no better way to start a conversation than by asking someone about their interests. For example, start a conversation by asking them what sports or video games they like to play. You can also ask more generally what their interests are—do they like going to the movies or concerts?
You can start by saying, “This past weekend I saw that new horror movie, X. It was great! Have any of you seen it yet?”
Try to stick to topics that interest these particular guys to keep the conversation flowing. Listen to what they say and respond in a positive manner, for example, “Oh, sounds like a great game! I wish I had the time to watch it this past weekend.”
1-2. Be humorous and witty.
Keep things light by adding humor to the conversation. You can be humorous by sharing something funny that happened to you, especially if it happened that day. Or, perhaps something funny happened in class the other day; re-tell the story. On the other hand, if someone else is telling a joke or relating a funny story, laugh heartily (and genuinely) at their joke.
If you're good at telling jokes, try telling a joke; however, try to avoid insensitive jokes, and try to avoid making too many jokes. This can be off-putting.
1-3. Compliment them.
Everyone loves to get compliments. Compliment athletes on a great game they played over the weekend. For example, “You guys played great last Friday. It looks like you guys are really dedicated.” You can also compliment guys on their clothes or shoes, for example, “Those are awesome shoes.”
If you are really bold, compliment a guy on his looks. For example, “Wow, Dave, you have been looking great these past couple of weeks. Have you been working out?”
If you're intimidated by saying something too specific and personal, you can always say something simple but still kind like "Hey, you look nice today!"
1-4. Spend time with men you are comfortable with.
You can practice interacting with and relating to guys by spending more time with guys you are comfortable around. Spend more time with male family members (your dad, brother, or male cousin) or male acquaintances, like your friend's brother.
While you are hanging out with them, try to take note of the things they talk about. You can also ask them for advice, for example, “What are some good conversation starters with guys?” or, “What kind of traits do guys find appealing or attractive in people, as friends or as something more?”
1-5. Rehearse how the conversation will go.
You can ensure your confidence the next time you are around guys by rehearsing what you will say. For example, make a list of conversation starters and practice saying them in front of the mirror. Pay attention to your facial expressions to make sure they are friendly and inviting, as opposed to timid or shy.
If want to add humor to your conversations, practice telling your jokes so when the occasion arises you can tell them confidently.
1-6. Don't over talk.
When interacting with guys, it could be tempting to talk too much, especially if you are nervous. If you find yourself talking too much, try to redirect the conversation by asking one of the guys a question, for example “What do you think?" or “How do you think the Eagles played last night?”. You could even admit your mistake in order to open the conversation up to let someone else speak. For example, “I'm sorry. I've been talking way too much. What do you guys want to talk about?”
Hint: you know you are over-talking when you are the only one talking and everyone is quiet. You can also tell that you are over-talking when people start to show signs of disinterest, for example by looking at their watch or phone repeatedly, or looking away and avoiding eye contact.
1-7. Be a good listener.
Asking people about themselves and letting them have a chance to speak is only one part of the equation — you need to listen, too! When the other person is talking, remove all distractions (put away your phone, turn off the TV, etc.), make eye contact, and don't think about how you're going to respond, because then you will no longer be listening. You aren't going to make a very good impression if you keep looking at your phone or constantly asking the person to repeat themselves or saying, "Huh? What did you say?"
Show that you are listening by nodding and occasionally making sounds when appropriate (like "Uh-huh") to show you are following. Ask follow-up questions, even just "Wow, can you tell me more about that?"
People appreciate when others are fully focused and paying attention to them.
2. Boosting Your Self-Confidence
2-1. Take pride in who you are.
You can be confident around guys by being yourself and knowing your worth. Know your worth by embracing your unique qualities and talents. Are you great at writing, playing soccer, or doing math? Are you a movie, fashion, or book guru? What are the qualities that your friends and family love about you most?
Make a list of your qualities and talents. Go over this list once a week to remind yourself that you have a lot to offer, not only to yourself, but to the world.
One quick way to boost your confidence is to wear a comfortable outfit that makes you look good. You don't have to go so far as wearing towering heels and a sexy dress, but looking nice can make you feel nice too.
2-2. Regulate your self-talk
If you find yourself saying, "I can't do this. They are going to think I'm weird, boring, or ugly," you need to reverse these thoughts. Remember the list you made that identifies your best qualities and talents. Remind yourself that you are interesting, and that anyone would enjoy talking with you.
You will begin to see that the more positive messages you send to yourself, the more confident you are.
2-3. Step out of your comfort zone.
Increase your self-confidence by stepping out of your comfort zone. Try to step out of your comfort zone at least two times a week. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you will have more experiences to talk about and share with others. This will make you look interesting and adventurous in others' eyes.
Step out of your comfort zone by doing something different. For example, go to a restaurant that serves food from parts of the world you have never been to or know little about. Or, if you're not very artistic, go to your local art museum.
2-4. Bring a friend with you.
You can ease any situation with guys by having a support network. So, bring a friend or two with you in case things go stale or awkward. Let your friend know that you are little uncomfortable being around guys, but that you would like to get over it, and want to enlist their support. Having that extra support will boost your confidence because you will know if things go wrong, they can try to pick up the conversation.
Try bringing a friend that already knows one of the guys or has rapport built up with one of the guys. Sometimes a conversation between two people can be grounds for a conversation starter between other people in the group.
3. Looking the Part
3-1. Make eye contact.
By looking confident, you can also feel confident around guys. Show confidence by maintaining eye contact with the person who is speaking. Eye contact shows interest, as well as respect for the person who is talking. You will make the guy feel like what he has to say is important, and thus, he will speak more freely.
3-2. Dress with confidence.
Always try to dress for the occasion. If it will be a comfortable occasion, dress comfortably. If the occasion is more formal, dress more formally. Make sure your outfit is clean and that it matches. Also, wear outfits that you are comfortable in. For example, if you are uncomfortable wearing heels, then wear cute flats or tennis shoes instead. Or, if you like wearing hats, like baseball caps, wear a baseball cap that complements your outfit.
Try to choose colors that complement your skin tone. Colors that complement your skin tone will make your skin glow and your eyes sparkle.
3-3. Have good posture.
Your posture also signals that you are confident in your own skin. Try not to hold your head low or droop. Instead, hold your head level, with your back straight and your shoulders square. Also, walk at a normal pace. Don't walk too fast or slow, and try not to stumble over your feet. Also, try to be relaxed. Instead of crossing your arms, or hiding your hands behind your back, let them hang naturally at your sides.
3-4. Try not to fidget.
Sometimes people look or feel nervous or awkward because they aren't sure what to do with their hands while talking with someone. Try placing your hands in your back pockets or coat pockets, or on your hips. If you're sitting, keep your hands in your lap or folded on the table. You can also use a prop — hold your backpack or purse strap, or hold a bottle of water in one hand.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting Conversations with Guys\\n1-1. Ask about their interests.\\nYou can begin to become confident around guys by starting a conversation with them. There is no better way to start a conversation than by asking someone about their interests. For example, start a conversation by asking them what sports or video games they like to play. You can also ask more generally what their interests are—do they like going to the movies or concerts?\\nYou can start by saying, “This past weekend I saw that new horror movie, X. It was great! Have any of you seen it yet?”\\nTry to stick to topics that interest these particular guys to keep the conversation flowing. Listen to what they say and respond in a positive manner, for example, “Oh, sounds like a great game! I wish I had the time to watch it this past weekend.”\\n1-2. Be humorous and witty.\\nKeep things light by adding humor to the conversation. You can be humorous by sharing something funny that happened to you, especially if it happened that day. Or, perhaps something funny happened in class the other day; re-tell the story. On the other hand, if someone else is telling a joke or relating a funny story, laugh heartily (and genuinely) at their joke.\\nIf you're good at telling jokes, try telling a joke; however, try to avoid insensitive jokes, and try to avoid making too many jokes. This can be off-putting.\\n1-3. Compliment them.\\nEveryone loves to get compliments. Compliment athletes on a great game they played over the weekend. For example, “You guys played great last Friday. It looks like you guys are really dedicated.” You can also compliment guys on their clothes or shoes, for example, “Those are awesome shoes.”\\nIf you are really bold, compliment a guy on his looks. For example, “Wow, Dave, you have been looking great these past couple of weeks. Have you been working out?”\\nIf you're intimidated by saying something too specific and personal, you can always say something simple but still kind like \\\"Hey, you look nice today!\\\"\\n1-4. Spend time with men you are comfortable with.\\nYou can practice interacting with and relating to guys by spending more time with guys you are comfortable around. Spend more time with male family members (your dad, brother, or male cousin) or male acquaintances, like your friend's brother.\\nWhile you are hanging out with them, try to take note of the things they talk about. You can also ask them for advice, for example, “What are some good conversation starters with guys?” or, “What kind of traits do guys find appealing or attractive in people, as friends or as something more?”\\n1-5. Rehearse how the conversation will go.\\nYou can ensure your confidence the next time you are around guys by rehearsing what you will say. For example, make a list of conversation starters and practice saying them in front of the mirror. Pay attention to your facial expressions to make sure they are friendly and inviting, as opposed to timid or shy.\\nIf want to add humor to your conversations, practice telling your jokes so when the occasion arises you can tell them confidently.\\n1-6. Don't over talk.\\nWhen interacting with guys, it could be tempting to talk too much, especially if you are nervous. If you find yourself talking too much, try to redirect the conversation by asking one of the guys a question, for example “What do you think?\\\" or “How do you think the Eagles played last night?”. You could even admit your mistake in order to open the conversation up to let someone else speak. For example, “I'm sorry. I've been talking way too much. What do you guys want to talk about?”\\nHint: you know you are over-talking when you are the only one talking and everyone is quiet. You can also tell that you are over-talking when people start to show signs of disinterest, for example by looking at their watch or phone repeatedly, or looking away and avoiding eye contact.\\n1-7. Be a good listener.\\nAsking people about themselves and letting them have a chance to speak is only one part of the equation — you need to listen, too! When the other person is talking, remove all distractions (put away your phone, turn off the TV, etc.), make eye contact, and don't think about how you're going to respond, because then you will no longer be listening. You aren't going to make a very good impression if you keep looking at your phone or constantly asking the person to repeat themselves or saying, \\\"Huh? What did you say?\\\"\\nShow that you are listening by nodding and occasionally making sounds when appropriate (like \\\"Uh-huh\\\") to show you are following. Ask follow-up questions, even just \\\"Wow, can you tell me more about that?\\\"\\nPeople appreciate when others are fully focused and paying attention to them.\\n2. Boosting Your Self-Confidence\\n2-1. Take pride in who you are.\\nYou can be confident around guys by being yourself and knowing your worth. Know your worth by embracing your unique qualities and talents. Are you great at writing, playing soccer, or doing math? Are you a movie, fashion, or book guru? What are the qualities that your friends and family love about you most?\\nMake a list of your qualities and talents. Go over this list once a week to remind yourself that you have a lot to offer, not only to yourself, but to the world.\\nOne quick way to boost your confidence is to wear a comfortable outfit that makes you look good. You don't have to go so far as wearing towering heels and a sexy dress, but looking nice can make you feel nice too.\\n2-2. Regulate your self-talk\\nIf you find yourself saying, \\\"I can't do this. They are going to think I'm weird, boring, or ugly,\\\" you need to reverse these thoughts. Remember the list you made that identifies your best qualities and talents. Remind yourself that you are interesting, and that anyone would enjoy talking with you.\\nYou will begin to see that the more positive messages you send to yourself, the more confident you are.\\n2-3. Step out of your comfort zone.\\nIncrease your self-confidence by stepping out of your comfort zone. Try to step out of your comfort zone at least two times a week. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you will have more experiences to talk about and share with others. This will make you look interesting and adventurous in others' eyes.\\nStep out of your comfort zone by doing something different. For example, go to a restaurant that serves food from parts of the world you have never been to or know little about. Or, if you're not very artistic, go to your local art museum.\\n2-4. Bring a friend with you.\\nYou can ease any situation with guys by having a support network. So, bring a friend or two with you in case things go stale or awkward. Let your friend know that you are little uncomfortable being around guys, but that you would like to get over it, and want to enlist their support. Having that extra support will boost your confidence because you will know if things go wrong, they can try to pick up the conversation.\\nTry bringing a friend that already knows one of the guys or has rapport built up with one of the guys. Sometimes a conversation between two people can be grounds for a conversation starter between other people in the group.\\n3. Looking the Part\\n3-1. Make eye contact.\\nBy looking confident, you can also feel confident around guys. Show confidence by maintaining eye contact with the person who is speaking. Eye contact shows interest, as well as respect for the person who is talking. You will make the guy feel like what he has to say is important, and thus, he will speak more freely.\\n3-2. Dress with confidence.\\nAlways try to dress for the occasion. If it will be a comfortable occasion, dress comfortably. If the occasion is more formal, dress more formally. Make sure your outfit is clean and that it matches. Also, wear outfits that you are comfortable in. For example, if you are uncomfortable wearing heels, then wear cute flats or tennis shoes instead. Or, if you like wearing hats, like baseball caps, wear a baseball cap that complements your outfit.\\nTry to choose colors that complement your skin tone. Colors that complement your skin tone will make your skin glow and your eyes sparkle.\\n3-3. Have good posture.\\nYour posture also signals that you are confident in your own skin. Try not to hold your head low or droop. Instead, hold your head level, with your back straight and your shoulders square. Also, walk at a normal pace. Don't walk too fast or slow, and try not to stumble over your feet. Also, try to be relaxed. Instead of crossing your arms, or hiding your hands behind your back, let them hang naturally at your sides.\\n3-4. Try not to fidget.\\nSometimes people look or feel nervous or awkward because they aren't sure what to do with their hands while talking with someone. Try placing your hands in your back pockets or coat pockets, or on your hips. If you're sitting, keep your hands in your lap or folded on the table. You can also use a prop — hold your backpack or purse strap, or hold a bottle of water in one hand.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There is no need to be worried or anxious when hanging around guys. After all, guys are human, too, and no one is perfect. By knowing how to start conversations with guys, and by learning how to feel and look confident, hanging around guys can become as natural as hanging out with your best friends.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting Conversations with Guys\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask about their interests.\", \"描述\": \"You can begin to become confident around guys by starting a conversation with them. There is no better way to start a conversation than by asking someone about their interests. For example, start a conversation by asking them what sports or video games they like to play. You can also ask more generally what their interests are—do they like going to the movies or concerts?\\nYou can start by saying, “This past weekend I saw that new horror movie, X. It was great! Have any of you seen it yet?”\\nTry to stick to topics that interest these particular guys to keep the conversation flowing. Listen to what they say and respond in a positive manner, for example, “Oh, sounds like a great game! I wish I had the time to watch it this past weekend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be humorous and witty.\", \"描述\": \"Keep things light by adding humor to the conversation. You can be humorous by sharing something funny that happened to you, especially if it happened that day. Or, perhaps something funny happened in class the other day; re-tell the story. On the other hand, if someone else is telling a joke or relating a funny story, laugh heartily (and genuinely) at their joke.\\nIf you're good at telling jokes, try telling a joke; however, try to avoid insensitive jokes, and try to avoid making too many jokes. This can be off-putting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves to get compliments. Compliment athletes on a great game they played over the weekend. For example, “You guys played great last Friday. It looks like you guys are really dedicated.” You can also compliment guys on their clothes or shoes, for example, “Those are awesome shoes.”\\nIf you are really bold, compliment a guy on his looks. For example, “Wow, Dave, you have been looking great these past couple of weeks. Have you been working out?”\\nIf you're intimidated by saying something too specific and personal, you can always say something simple but still kind like \\\"Hey, you look nice today!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time with men you are comfortable with.\", \"描述\": \"You can practice interacting with and relating to guys by spending more time with guys you are comfortable around. Spend more time with male family members (your dad, brother, or male cousin) or male acquaintances, like your friend's brother.\\nWhile you are hanging out with them, try to take note of the things they talk about. You can also ask them for advice, for example, “What are some good conversation starters with guys?” or, “What kind of traits do guys find appealing or attractive in people, as friends or as something more?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Rehearse how the conversation will go.\", \"描述\": \"You can ensure your confidence the next time you are around guys by rehearsing what you will say. For example, make a list of conversation starters and practice saying them in front of the mirror. Pay attention to your facial expressions to make sure they are friendly and inviting, as opposed to timid or shy.\\nIf want to add humor to your conversations, practice telling your jokes so when the occasion arises you can tell them confidently.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't over talk.\", \"描述\": \"When interacting with guys, it could be tempting to talk too much, especially if you are nervous. If you find yourself talking too much, try to redirect the conversation by asking one of the guys a question, for example “What do you think?\\\" or “How do you think the Eagles played last night?”. You could even admit your mistake in order to open the conversation up to let someone else speak. For example, “I'm sorry. I've been talking way too much. What do you guys want to talk about?”\\nHint: you know you are over-talking when you are the only one talking and everyone is quiet. You can also tell that you are over-talking when people start to show signs of disinterest, for example by looking at their watch or phone repeatedly, or looking away and avoiding eye contact.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Asking people about themselves and letting them have a chance to speak is only one part of the equation — you need to listen, too! When the other person is talking, remove all distractions (put away your phone, turn off the TV, etc.), make eye contact, and don't think about how you're going to respond, because then you will no longer be listening. You aren't going to make a very good impression if you keep looking at your phone or constantly asking the person to repeat themselves or saying, \\\"Huh? What did you say?\\\"\\nShow that you are listening by nodding and occasionally making sounds when appropriate (like \\\"Uh-huh\\\") to show you are following. Ask follow-up questions, even just \\\"Wow, can you tell me more about that?\\\"\\nPeople appreciate when others are fully focused and paying attention to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Boosting Your Self-Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take pride in who you are.\", \"描述\": \"You can be confident around guys by being yourself and knowing your worth. Know your worth by embracing your unique qualities and talents. Are you great at writing, playing soccer, or doing math? Are you a movie, fashion, or book guru? What are the qualities that your friends and family love about you most?\\nMake a list of your qualities and talents. Go over this list once a week to remind yourself that you have a lot to offer, not only to yourself, but to the world.\\nOne quick way to boost your confidence is to wear a comfortable outfit that makes you look good. You don't have to go so far as wearing towering heels and a sexy dress, but looking nice can make you feel nice too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Regulate your self-talk\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself saying, \\\"I can't do this. They are going to think I'm weird, boring, or ugly,\\\" you need to reverse these thoughts. Remember the list you made that identifies your best qualities and talents. Remind yourself that you are interesting, and that anyone would enjoy talking with you.\\nYou will begin to see that the more positive messages you send to yourself, the more confident you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Step out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Increase your self-confidence by stepping out of your comfort zone. Try to step out of your comfort zone at least two times a week. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you will have more experiences to talk about and share with others. This will make you look interesting and adventurous in others' eyes.\\nStep out of your comfort zone by doing something different. For example, go to a restaurant that serves food from parts of the world you have never been to or know little about. Or, if you're not very artistic, go to your local art museum.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring a friend with you.\", \"描述\": \"You can ease any situation with guys by having a support network. So, bring a friend or two with you in case things go stale or awkward. Let your friend know that you are little uncomfortable being around guys, but that you would like to get over it, and want to enlist their support. Having that extra support will boost your confidence because you will know if things go wrong, they can try to pick up the conversation.\\nTry bringing a friend that already knows one of the guys or has rapport built up with one of the guys. Sometimes a conversation between two people can be grounds for a conversation starter between other people in the group.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"By looking confident, you can also feel confident around guys. Show confidence by maintaining eye contact with the person who is speaking. Eye contact shows interest, as well as respect for the person who is talking. You will make the guy feel like what he has to say is important, and thus, he will speak more freely.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Always try to dress for the occasion. If it will be a comfortable occasion, dress comfortably. If the occasion is more formal, dress more formally. Make sure your outfit is clean and that it matches. Also, wear outfits that you are comfortable in. For example, if you are uncomfortable wearing heels, then wear cute flats or tennis shoes instead. Or, if you like wearing hats, like baseball caps, wear a baseball cap that complements your outfit.\\nTry to choose colors that complement your skin tone. Colors that complement your skin tone will make your skin glow and your eyes sparkle.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Your posture also signals that you are confident in your own skin. Try not to hold your head low or droop. Instead, hold your head level, with your back straight and your shoulders square. Also, walk at a normal pace. Don't walk too fast or slow, and try not to stumble over your feet. Also, try to be relaxed. Instead of crossing your arms, or hiding your hands behind your back, let them hang naturally at your sides.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try not to fidget.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people look or feel nervous or awkward because they aren't sure what to do with their hands while talking with someone. Try placing your hands in your back pockets or coat pockets, or on your hips. If you're sitting, keep your hands in your lap or folded on the table. You can also use a prop — hold your backpack or purse strap, or hold a bottle of water in one hand.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,630 | How to Be Confident Around Your Crush | 1. Keeping Your Cool
1-1. Be yourself.
If there's only one thing you do to boost your confidence, make it this. Try not to fall for the trap of changing your normal behavior to impress your crush. This is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it puts pressure on you to be someone you're not, which can add to your stresses because it's not something you're used to. Second, it gives your crush a false idea of who you are. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings when you drop the act. On the other hand, if you're true to yourself, you don't have to worry about keeping any lies straight.
This basic idea can extend to things as simple as casual conversations. For example, if your crush says that they love the movie Fight Club and you haven't seen it, don't say "Me too!" to try to impress. This is setting yourself up for embarrassment if, for instance, your crush asks what your favorite part is.
1-2. Look your best, but don't obsess over your looks.
In the grand scheme of things, looks are only a single, fairly shallow part of what makes someone attracted to someone else. However, putting a little extra effort into your looks can be very useful if it helps you keep your confidence high. Consider spending a little extra time each morning putting yourself together if you know your crush is going to be around. Loving the way that you look in the mirror will help you feel positive about yourself later in the day.
However, you'll never want to spend too much time worrying about the way you look. Remember that your crush is most likely to like you for your personality, not the way you look. Stressing out about whether or not you look perfect will only lower your confidence and make it harder for you to act natural when you're around your crush.
1-3. Use confident body language.
The way you carry yourself can have a big effect on how confident you look — and feel. While sitting or walking, keep your shoulders back, your head slightly raised, and your chest slightly stuck out. Above all, wear a classy smile. People are generally much more likely to start conversation with people who appear friendly and open.
On the other hand, "nervous" behaviors can make you look and feel less confident. Try to avoid fiddling with your hair, biting your nails, and similar gestures.
1-4. Think of him as an ordinary person (not an idol).
When you're absolutely infatuated with someone, it's easy to forget that they're an ordinary person. In addition to the things that make them amazing, crushes have flaws, fears, and insecurities just like you do. They are complex, imperfect people, so don't think of them like movie stars or royalty. Instead, try to think of them the same way you'd think of any casual acquaintance.
This is especially important if you eventually start a relationship with this person. Sooner or later, if you spend enough time together, you will find things about each other that you don't like. This can be a very unpleasant realization if you have the idea that your significant other is perfect.
1-5. Don't over-think things.
Scrutinizing every single action that you make around your crush (or that your crush makes around you) is a sure fire way to turn yourself into a nervous wreck. Odds are that you don't always choose the perfect thing to say or do when you're around your friends and family, so there's no reason to worry about this when you're with your crush. Ironically, stressing out about every single thing that happens just makes it more likely that you'll make a mistake, so stay cool!
If, during a conversation, you find yourself thinking, "Oh my gosh, why did I just say that?", relax. Most minor mistakes will go completely unnoticed. If they don't, your crush may even find them amusing. Most people won't get offended or angry over a minor slip-up. Besides, if they do, they aren't good crush material.
2. Making Your Move With Confidence
2-1. Flirt a little to test the waters.
Flirting is a great way to judge whether your crush is reciprocating your feelings. There are many different ways to flirt. For example, you can try gently teasing your crush about a mistake, as long as you keep things good-natured. You might also try delivering a suave compliment or making a subtle innuendo while you're talking with each other. Touch is also a good idea — try reaching out and touching your crush's shoulder when s/he says something that makes you laugh, for instance. If your crush goes along with your flirting or returns it, this is a good sign.
See our flirting article for many more tips.
2-2. Spend a little time with each other before you make any decisions.
Crushes aren't always logical. If you're captivated by someone's looks and confidence, you may get a crush for this person before you have a good idea of who this person is. You don't want to make a move on someone only to find out later that you're not actually attracted to this person, so try to spend at least a little time together (alone or in groups) before you take the plunge.
If you're nervous about spending casual time with your crush, pick activities that you know you're good at. Your natural confidence will make it easier to keep your cool while you're interacting. For example, if you're good at tennis, you might challenge your crush to a few friendly volleys.
2-3. Be direct with your intentions, but keep things casual.
No matter how confident you are, asking a crush out can cause some major butterflies. A good way to "defuse" the situation is to make your request a casual one. This takes some of the pressure off — your crush isn't deciding whether to express his or her undying love for you, just deciding whether to spend a little time together.
You don't even have to bring up the idea of romance yet. For instance, you might simply ask your crush, "Hey, do you want to go get some Mexican food after school?" If you hit things off on your first hang-out session, then you can start hinting that you'd like to be more than friends.
2-4. Don't put too much weight in your crush's reply.
Crushes aren't the end of the world. Try not to let yourself get too invested in the outcome of asking your crush out. For one, a "no" may have nothing to do with you — there may simply be other commitments that make romance impossible. More important, though, is the fact that one person's opinion of you doesn't matter. Crushes come and go, so don't let one determine how you feel about yourself.
Tips
If you're feeling nervous, breathe. It may sound simple, but taking a few deep, slow breaths can calm your heart rate and provide extra oxygen to your bloodstream. After a few seconds, you'll feel less panicky.
Remember that you are more important to yourself than your crush is. While it's okay to go a little gaga over your latest love, remind yourself that you have plenty to offer and that the person you end up with will be lucky to have you.
If the idea of having a conversation with your crush makes you shake in your boots, taking a little time to prepare can be a good idea. Have a few conversation topics you can pull out of your pocket. Try not make them too generic, like "How about the weather?" You can even ask your friends to do a little recon and find out about some of their interests. Sports, music and pop culture is usually pretty common ground.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping Your Cool\\n1-1. Be yourself.\\nIf there's only one thing you do to boost your confidence, make it this. Try not to fall for the trap of changing your normal behavior to impress your crush. This is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it puts pressure on you to be someone you're not, which can add to your stresses because it's not something you're used to. Second, it gives your crush a false idea of who you are. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings when you drop the act. On the other hand, if you're true to yourself, you don't have to worry about keeping any lies straight.\\nThis basic idea can extend to things as simple as casual conversations. For example, if your crush says that they love the movie Fight Club and you haven't seen it, don't say \\\"Me too!\\\" to try to impress. This is setting yourself up for embarrassment if, for instance, your crush asks what your favorite part is.\\n1-2. Look your best, but don't obsess over your looks.\\nIn the grand scheme of things, looks are only a single, fairly shallow part of what makes someone attracted to someone else. However, putting a little extra effort into your looks can be very useful if it helps you keep your confidence high. Consider spending a little extra time each morning putting yourself together if you know your crush is going to be around. Loving the way that you look in the mirror will help you feel positive about yourself later in the day.\\nHowever, you'll never want to spend too much time worrying about the way you look. Remember that your crush is most likely to like you for your personality, not the way you look. Stressing out about whether or not you look perfect will only lower your confidence and make it harder for you to act natural when you're around your crush.\\n1-3. Use confident body language.\\nThe way you carry yourself can have a big effect on how confident you look — and feel. While sitting or walking, keep your shoulders back, your head slightly raised, and your chest slightly stuck out. Above all, wear a classy smile. People are generally much more likely to start conversation with people who appear friendly and open.\\nOn the other hand, \\\"nervous\\\" behaviors can make you look and feel less confident. Try to avoid fiddling with your hair, biting your nails, and similar gestures.\\n1-4. Think of him as an ordinary person (not an idol).\\nWhen you're absolutely infatuated with someone, it's easy to forget that they're an ordinary person. In addition to the things that make them amazing, crushes have flaws, fears, and insecurities just like you do. They are complex, imperfect people, so don't think of them like movie stars or royalty. Instead, try to think of them the same way you'd think of any casual acquaintance.\\nThis is especially important if you eventually start a relationship with this person. Sooner or later, if you spend enough time together, you will find things about each other that you don't like. This can be a very unpleasant realization if you have the idea that your significant other is perfect.\\n1-5. Don't over-think things.\\nScrutinizing every single action that you make around your crush (or that your crush makes around you) is a sure fire way to turn yourself into a nervous wreck. Odds are that you don't always choose the perfect thing to say or do when you're around your friends and family, so there's no reason to worry about this when you're with your crush. Ironically, stressing out about every single thing that happens just makes it more likely that you'll make a mistake, so stay cool!\\nIf, during a conversation, you find yourself thinking, \\\"Oh my gosh, why did I just say that?\\\", relax. Most minor mistakes will go completely unnoticed. If they don't, your crush may even find them amusing. Most people won't get offended or angry over a minor slip-up. Besides, if they do, they aren't good crush material.\\n2. Making Your Move With Confidence\\n2-1. Flirt a little to test the waters.\\nFlirting is a great way to judge whether your crush is reciprocating your feelings. There are many different ways to flirt. For example, you can try gently teasing your crush about a mistake, as long as you keep things good-natured. You might also try delivering a suave compliment or making a subtle innuendo while you're talking with each other. Touch is also a good idea — try reaching out and touching your crush's shoulder when s/he says something that makes you laugh, for instance. If your crush goes along with your flirting or returns it, this is a good sign.\\nSee our flirting article for many more tips.\\n2-2. Spend a little time with each other before you make any decisions.\\nCrushes aren't always logical. If you're captivated by someone's looks and confidence, you may get a crush for this person before you have a good idea of who this person is. You don't want to make a move on someone only to find out later that you're not actually attracted to this person, so try to spend at least a little time together (alone or in groups) before you take the plunge.\\nIf you're nervous about spending casual time with your crush, pick activities that you know you're good at. Your natural confidence will make it easier to keep your cool while you're interacting. For example, if you're good at tennis, you might challenge your crush to a few friendly volleys.\\n2-3. Be direct with your intentions, but keep things casual.\\nNo matter how confident you are, asking a crush out can cause some major butterflies. A good way to \\\"defuse\\\" the situation is to make your request a casual one. This takes some of the pressure off — your crush isn't deciding whether to express his or her undying love for you, just deciding whether to spend a little time together.\\nYou don't even have to bring up the idea of romance yet. For instance, you might simply ask your crush, \\\"Hey, do you want to go get some Mexican food after school?\\\" If you hit things off on your first hang-out session, then you can start hinting that you'd like to be more than friends.\\n2-4. Don't put too much weight in your crush's reply.\\nCrushes aren't the end of the world. Try not to let yourself get too invested in the outcome of asking your crush out. For one, a \\\"no\\\" may have nothing to do with you — there may simply be other commitments that make romance impossible. More important, though, is the fact that one person's opinion of you doesn't matter. Crushes come and go, so don't let one determine how you feel about yourself.\\nTips\\nIf you're feeling nervous, breathe. It may sound simple, but taking a few deep, slow breaths can calm your heart rate and provide extra oxygen to your bloodstream. After a few seconds, you'll feel less panicky.\\nRemember that you are more important to yourself than your crush is. While it's okay to go a little gaga over your latest love, remind yourself that you have plenty to offer and that the person you end up with will be lucky to have you.\\nIf the idea of having a conversation with your crush makes you shake in your boots, taking a little time to prepare can be a good idea. Have a few conversation topics you can pull out of your pocket. Try not make them too generic, like \\\"How about the weather?\\\" You can even ask your friends to do a little recon and find out about some of their interests. Sports, music and pop culture is usually pretty common ground.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Confidence is great, but don't wait to feel confident to show your crush you're interested. Approaching someone attractive is nerve-wracking for most people, so chances are you'll never take a risk if you wait to feel totally calm. Directly communicating, \\\"I like you,\\\" even if you do it awkwardly, is one of the best ways to build attraction.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If there's only one thing you do to boost your confidence, make it this. Try not to fall for the trap of changing your normal behavior to impress your crush. This is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it puts pressure on you to be someone you're not, which can add to your stresses because it's not something you're used to. Second, it gives your crush a false idea of who you are. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings when you drop the act. On the other hand, if you're true to yourself, you don't have to worry about keeping any lies straight.\\nThis basic idea can extend to things as simple as casual conversations. For example, if your crush says that they love the movie Fight Club and you haven't seen it, don't say \\\"Me too!\\\" to try to impress. This is setting yourself up for embarrassment if, for instance, your crush asks what your favorite part is.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look your best, but don't obsess over your looks.\", \"描述\": \"In the grand scheme of things, looks are only a single, fairly shallow part of what makes someone attracted to someone else. However, putting a little extra effort into your looks can be very useful if it helps you keep your confidence high. Consider spending a little extra time each morning putting yourself together if you know your crush is going to be around. Loving the way that you look in the mirror will help you feel positive about yourself later in the day.\\nHowever, you'll never want to spend too much time worrying about the way you look. Remember that your crush is most likely to like you for your personality, not the way you look. Stressing out about whether or not you look perfect will only lower your confidence and make it harder for you to act natural when you're around your crush.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use confident body language.\", \"描述\": \"The way you carry yourself can have a big effect on how confident you look — and feel. While sitting or walking, keep your shoulders back, your head slightly raised, and your chest slightly stuck out. Above all, wear a classy smile. People are generally much more likely to start conversation with people who appear friendly and open.\\nOn the other hand, \\\"nervous\\\" behaviors can make you look and feel less confident. Try to avoid fiddling with your hair, biting your nails, and similar gestures.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think of him as an ordinary person (not an idol).\", \"描述\": \"When you're absolutely infatuated with someone, it's easy to forget that they're an ordinary person. In addition to the things that make them amazing, crushes have flaws, fears, and insecurities just like you do. They are complex, imperfect people, so don't think of them like movie stars or royalty. Instead, try to think of them the same way you'd think of any casual acquaintance.\\nThis is especially important if you eventually start a relationship with this person. Sooner or later, if you spend enough time together, you will find things about each other that you don't like. This can be a very unpleasant realization if you have the idea that your significant other is perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't over-think things.\", \"描述\": \"Scrutinizing every single action that you make around your crush (or that your crush makes around you) is a sure fire way to turn yourself into a nervous wreck. Odds are that you don't always choose the perfect thing to say or do when you're around your friends and family, so there's no reason to worry about this when you're with your crush. Ironically, stressing out about every single thing that happens just makes it more likely that you'll make a mistake, so stay cool!\\nIf, during a conversation, you find yourself thinking, \\\"Oh my gosh, why did I just say that?\\\", relax. Most minor mistakes will go completely unnoticed. If they don't, your crush may even find them amusing. Most people won't get offended or angry over a minor slip-up. Besides, if they do, they aren't good crush material.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Your Move With Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flirt a little to test the waters.\", \"描述\": \"Flirting is a great way to judge whether your crush is reciprocating your feelings. There are many different ways to flirt. For example, you can try gently teasing your crush about a mistake, as long as you keep things good-natured. You might also try delivering a suave compliment or making a subtle innuendo while you're talking with each other. Touch is also a good idea — try reaching out and touching your crush's shoulder when s/he says something that makes you laugh, for instance. If your crush goes along with your flirting or returns it, this is a good sign.\\nSee our flirting article for many more tips.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend a little time with each other before you make any decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Crushes aren't always logical. If you're captivated by someone's looks and confidence, you may get a crush for this person before you have a good idea of who this person is. You don't want to make a move on someone only to find out later that you're not actually attracted to this person, so try to spend at least a little time together (alone or in groups) before you take the plunge.\\nIf you're nervous about spending casual time with your crush, pick activities that you know you're good at. Your natural confidence will make it easier to keep your cool while you're interacting. For example, if you're good at tennis, you might challenge your crush to a few friendly volleys.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be direct with your intentions, but keep things casual.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how confident you are, asking a crush out can cause some major butterflies. A good way to \\\"defuse\\\" the situation is to make your request a casual one. This takes some of the pressure off — your crush isn't deciding whether to express his or her undying love for you, just deciding whether to spend a little time together.\\nYou don't even have to bring up the idea of romance yet. For instance, you might simply ask your crush, \\\"Hey, do you want to go get some Mexican food after school?\\\" If you hit things off on your first hang-out session, then you can start hinting that you'd like to be more than friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't put too much weight in your crush's reply.\", \"描述\": \"Crushes aren't the end of the world. Try not to let yourself get too invested in the outcome of asking your crush out. For one, a \\\"no\\\" may have nothing to do with you — there may simply be other commitments that make romance impossible. More important, though, is the fact that one person's opinion of you doesn't matter. Crushes come and go, so don't let one determine how you feel about yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're feeling nervous, breathe. It may sound simple, but taking a few deep, slow breaths can calm your heart rate and provide extra oxygen to your bloodstream. After a few seconds, you'll feel less panicky.\\n\", \"Remember that you are more important to yourself than your crush is. While it's okay to go a little gaga over your latest love, remind yourself that you have plenty to offer and that the person you end up with will be lucky to have you.\\n\", \"If the idea of having a conversation with your crush makes you shake in your boots, taking a little time to prepare can be a good idea. Have a few conversation topics you can pull out of your pocket. Try not make them too generic, like \\\"How about the weather?\\\" You can even ask your friends to do a little recon and find out about some of their interests. Sports, music and pop culture is usually pretty common ground.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,631 | How to Be Confident As a Overweight Adult | 1. Building Confidence in Your Body
1-1. Remind yourself of the great things your body can do.
It can become easy to focus on what you can’t do. Instead of dwelling on these, come up with a few amazing things that you can do, like singing, playing an instrument, or painting.
Some people also find it helpful to think of even the normal things that their body can do. For example, you can say “My body is strong enough to carry me throughout the day.”
1-2. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and happy with your body.
When you’re picking your clothes, try not to worry about what other people might think or say about your outfit. Find clothes that express your personality and celebrate your body.
For instance, if you like a certain TV show, look on websites like Etsy or RedBubble to see if you can find a shirt in your size that has a character or phrase from the show on it.
Pick your favorite features and buy clothes that show them off. For example, if you’re taller and have long legs, wear high-waisted pants and heels to elongate your legs.
If you’re not sure what to wear to flatter your body, try following some “guidelines” for how to dress in flattering clothes for your shape. Visit a store that caters to plus-size bodies, and ask for recommendations. No matter what size you are, you can dress well and look put-together.
Don't worry about the size listed on your clothing label. These numbers are arbitrary and don't define you! You are a unique individual who is more than just a number on the label.
1-3. Pamper your body with a trip to the spa or a day of relaxation.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your body is take care of it! Make an appointment for a facial or massage at your local spa, or take a relaxing bath at home. Take that time to feel good about your body and take care of your skin, muscles, and hair.
You can also throw your own mini spa day at home by taking a bath, giving yourself a manicure and pedicure, exfoliating and moisturizing your skin, and doing an at-home facemask.
1-4. Be critical of ads that tell you how you’re supposed to look.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of companies who make money off of people’s insecurities. When you see advertisements for clothes or weight loss products, think about whether or not the company wants you to feel bad about yourself and buy their product to feel better. If a company is telling you that you need their product to make you beautiful or acceptable, they’re probably trying to play on your insecurities.
For instance, if an ad starts with something like “Want to get rid of those unsightly fat rolls on your stomach and back?” the goal of the ad is to make you self-conscious about something that most people experience, regardless of their weight. The ad suggests the idea that fat rolls are unsightly and bad. When you feel bad about how you look, you’re more likely to be interested in what they’re selling.
Advertising is meant to make you feel a certain way to get you to react to the product or brand. In most cases, the companies want you to buy a product. If you understand what they’re doing in their ads, it’s easier to resist the urge to feel bad about your body.
Instead of looking at magazines that try to make you feel bad, pick up a magazine that uses normal sized models! More brands are starting to use normal people as models rather than unrealistic, photo-shopped images.
1-5. Pay attention to signals about what your body needs.
Trusting your body is a huge step to being confident in yourself. Notice when you’re feeling hungry, thirsty, energized, or sleepy, and try to take care of what your body needs at that moment. Try to live your life based on what your body is telling you it needs, rather than what outside input, like advertisements or other people, are telling you.
Living your life this way can also lead to a healthier lifestyle overall. It may take some practice, but it’s entirely possible with some dedication.
Remember that discussions about your health and weight should occur between you and your doctor. If your doctor believes that your weight might be affecting your health, work with them to come up with a plan for leading a healthier lifestyle.
2. Combating Low Self-Esteem
2-1. Work toward goals you've set for yourself.
Pursue your dreams! Make a list of things you want to accomplish, then break them down into small, measurable steps. Check in with yourself regularly to see how well you're making progress! If you're working toward something important to you, you'll have less time to worry about your weight.
It's a good idea to set some goals that are health related, such as increasing your activity level or eating more vegetables. However, make sure you're also working toward your life goals, like earning a degree, getting a job you want, expanding your creative life, doing an open mic night, or starting your own herb garden.
2-2. Remind yourself that you have the right to feel good about yourself.
When you’re dealing with a lack of confidence, it can help to give yourself permission to feel good. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “I have the right to feel good about myself and my body.” You can also come up with some other mantra that helps you feel good and remind you of your worth.
If you have trouble with negative thoughts about your body, you can try redirecting these thoughts into positive thoughts by saying something like “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes, but I know that I’m a beautiful person inside and out.”
Even if you don’t believe what you’re saying in the moment, just saying the phrase can help you feel better.
2-3. Consider seeing a therapist to discuss any negative thoughts or habits.
If you frequently find yourself feeling unhappy or even depressed because of your weight, make an appointment with a therapist. Talk to them about your relationship with your body and why you feel down on yourself. Often, a therapist will be able to help you make a plan for changing your behavior for the better.
Your therapist can also help you overcome cognitive distortion, which is a common issue. You may have a tendency to distort what's happening in your life to make it seem worse than it is, such as by having all or nothing thinking, only seeing the negative in a situation, jumping to conclusions, trying to read other people's minds, or assuming other people's behaviors are because of you. Your therapist can help you identify when this is happening so you can learn how to stop.
Remember, the therapist is there to help you, not punish or shame you for feeling bad.
If you aren’t able to afford therapy, consider visiting a counseling clinic at a nearby university with a mental health counseling program. Sometimes, they offer free or heavily discounted sessions to help graduate students gain patient experience.
2-4. Surround yourself with people who are confident and supportive.
Make friends with people who are outgoing, kind, friendly, and positive. Try looking for “body positive” groups in your area to meet other people who might have struggled with low self-esteem or a negative self-image. Don’t be afraid to cut ties with people who make you feel bad about your appearance or weight.
Speak up when your friends say body-negative things about themselves and others. If someone says something negative about their body, say something like, “You’re a beautiful person inside and out! Let’s focus on what we like about ourselves, not what we don’t like.”
2-5. Compliment yourself and others on traits that aren’t related to appearance.
Sometimes, low self-esteem can come from placing too much value on how you look. Shift your frame of reference by praising other people and yourself for qualities and skills that aren’t related to looks. This can help you realize your own worth and encourage others to be more confident.
For example, if you have an important meeting at work, you can approach one of your coworkers after the meeting and say, “I really admire how great you are at public speaking! You made the information so easy to understand. Thank you so much!”
If you have children, you can model this behavior by praising them for qualities rather than looks. For instance, instead of saying “You look so handsome!” or “You’re so pretty!” you can say “You’re so kind to your friends!” or “You’re so intelligent!”
2-6. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or do a daunting task.
Accomplishing something new can be a huge confidence booster, and you might be surprised at what you can do. Enroll in a class at a community college, or do something around your house that you’ve never done before.
For instance, if your car has an oil change coming up, you can challenge yourself to do it by yourself. Check out tutorials online and read your owner’s manual, and then use the information that you’ve learned to do the oil change.
If you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, take an introductory class that meets weekly and practice your skills at home. You might be impressed by how much you can learn in just a few months!
2-7. Participate in activities that you enjoy.
One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is by doing things that you’re good at. Show off your skills by signing up for a team sport, or joining a local club for enthusiasts. This will help you meet people with similar interests and show you that you’re worth more than your appearance.
For example, if you like bowling, you can sign up for a local bowling league to make new friends and practice your game.
If you like books and reading, find a book club that meets near you and read the book for the next meeting.
3. Identifying Inspirational and Positive Overweight People
3-1. Look for positive representations of overweight people in TV shows and movies.
With the body positive movement gaining strength, plus size people have had more representation. Think about characters like Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project, Becky on Empire, Titus Burgess on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Toby on This Is Us, who aren’t used as jokes for the TV show.
Keep in mind that even if a show or movie has a plus size person on the cast, it might portray them negatively. Try to watch shows and movies that focus on positive, real-life depictions of overweight people.
The actors and actresses who play these characters can also be good examples of how to be confident when you’re an overweight adult.
3-2. Support stores that use diverse models in their advertisements.
Shopping as a plus size person can be incredibly frustrating. Look for stores and brands that showcase a variety of shapes and sizes in their advertisements to get a good idea of which stores will have clothes that flatter your body type. Keep in mind that some stores might have a separate section for extended sizes that showcase the clothes on plus size models.
For example, Target has a variety of plus size collections for men and women, and these sections in the store have pictures of plus size models wearing the clothes. They can also have plus size mannequins that give an example of how the clothes might look in real life.
Online “fast fashion” retailers, like ASOS, Forever21, and H&M, also use plus size models for their extended sizes and offer a variety of fashionable, inexpensive clothing options for overweight people.
The popularity of plus size models, such as Tess Holliday and Zach Miko, have encouraged major brands to move into the plus-size clothing industry.
3-3. Identify overweight athletes who exercise to stay healthy.
Search for news stories about athletes like Mirna Valerio, who is a runner, and Jessamyn Stanley, a yoga instructor, both of whom are plus size women who are active because it helps them build strength and maintain their health. Use their stories as inspiration for creating your own workout routine that focuses on improving your skills and health, rather than losing weight.
Often, people assume that an overweight person would only exercise to lose weight. These athletes work hard to challenge these ideas.
Some overweight athletes offer free training videos for overweight people who are just getting started with becoming more active.
Tips
Keep in mind that it’s okay to feel down and sad sometimes. Those feelings are normal to have sometimes, but you shouldn’t feel that way all the time. If you do find yourself feeling upset or helpless about your weight, consider making an appointment with a therapist to identify some healthy coping mechanisms for these feelings.
Remember that you shouldn't try to lose weight or change your appearance to impress someone else. If you want to make a lifestyle change, focus on the positive health benefits, rather than idea of becoming "attractive" or "beautiful."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Confidence in Your Body\\n1-1. Remind yourself of the great things your body can do.\\nIt can become easy to focus on what you can’t do. Instead of dwelling on these, come up with a few amazing things that you can do, like singing, playing an instrument, or painting.\\nSome people also find it helpful to think of even the normal things that their body can do. For example, you can say “My body is strong enough to carry me throughout the day.”\\n1-2. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and happy with your body.\\nWhen you’re picking your clothes, try not to worry about what other people might think or say about your outfit. Find clothes that express your personality and celebrate your body.\\nFor instance, if you like a certain TV show, look on websites like Etsy or RedBubble to see if you can find a shirt in your size that has a character or phrase from the show on it.\\nPick your favorite features and buy clothes that show them off. For example, if you’re taller and have long legs, wear high-waisted pants and heels to elongate your legs.\\nIf you’re not sure what to wear to flatter your body, try following some “guidelines” for how to dress in flattering clothes for your shape. Visit a store that caters to plus-size bodies, and ask for recommendations. No matter what size you are, you can dress well and look put-together.\\nDon't worry about the size listed on your clothing label. These numbers are arbitrary and don't define you! You are a unique individual who is more than just a number on the label.\\n1-3. Pamper your body with a trip to the spa or a day of relaxation.\\nSometimes, the best thing you can do for your body is take care of it! Make an appointment for a facial or massage at your local spa, or take a relaxing bath at home. Take that time to feel good about your body and take care of your skin, muscles, and hair.\\nYou can also throw your own mini spa day at home by taking a bath, giving yourself a manicure and pedicure, exfoliating and moisturizing your skin, and doing an at-home facemask.\\n1-4. Be critical of ads that tell you how you’re supposed to look.\\nUnfortunately, there are plenty of companies who make money off of people’s insecurities. When you see advertisements for clothes or weight loss products, think about whether or not the company wants you to feel bad about yourself and buy their product to feel better. If a company is telling you that you need their product to make you beautiful or acceptable, they’re probably trying to play on your insecurities.\\nFor instance, if an ad starts with something like “Want to get rid of those unsightly fat rolls on your stomach and back?” the goal of the ad is to make you self-conscious about something that most people experience, regardless of their weight. The ad suggests the idea that fat rolls are unsightly and bad. When you feel bad about how you look, you’re more likely to be interested in what they’re selling.\\nAdvertising is meant to make you feel a certain way to get you to react to the product or brand. In most cases, the companies want you to buy a product. If you understand what they’re doing in their ads, it’s easier to resist the urge to feel bad about your body.\\nInstead of looking at magazines that try to make you feel bad, pick up a magazine that uses normal sized models! More brands are starting to use normal people as models rather than unrealistic, photo-shopped images.\\n1-5. Pay attention to signals about what your body needs.\\nTrusting your body is a huge step to being confident in yourself. Notice when you’re feeling hungry, thirsty, energized, or sleepy, and try to take care of what your body needs at that moment. Try to live your life based on what your body is telling you it needs, rather than what outside input, like advertisements or other people, are telling you.\\nLiving your life this way can also lead to a healthier lifestyle overall. It may take some practice, but it’s entirely possible with some dedication.\\nRemember that discussions about your health and weight should occur between you and your doctor. If your doctor believes that your weight might be affecting your health, work with them to come up with a plan for leading a healthier lifestyle.\\n2. Combating Low Self-Esteem\\n2-1. Work toward goals you've set for yourself.\\nPursue your dreams! Make a list of things you want to accomplish, then break them down into small, measurable steps. Check in with yourself regularly to see how well you're making progress! If you're working toward something important to you, you'll have less time to worry about your weight.\\nIt's a good idea to set some goals that are health related, such as increasing your activity level or eating more vegetables. However, make sure you're also working toward your life goals, like earning a degree, getting a job you want, expanding your creative life, doing an open mic night, or starting your own herb garden.\\n2-2. Remind yourself that you have the right to feel good about yourself.\\nWhen you’re dealing with a lack of confidence, it can help to give yourself permission to feel good. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “I have the right to feel good about myself and my body.” You can also come up with some other mantra that helps you feel good and remind you of your worth.\\nIf you have trouble with negative thoughts about your body, you can try redirecting these thoughts into positive thoughts by saying something like “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes, but I know that I’m a beautiful person inside and out.”\\nEven if you don’t believe what you’re saying in the moment, just saying the phrase can help you feel better.\\n2-3. Consider seeing a therapist to discuss any negative thoughts or habits.\\nIf you frequently find yourself feeling unhappy or even depressed because of your weight, make an appointment with a therapist. Talk to them about your relationship with your body and why you feel down on yourself. Often, a therapist will be able to help you make a plan for changing your behavior for the better.\\nYour therapist can also help you overcome cognitive distortion, which is a common issue. You may have a tendency to distort what's happening in your life to make it seem worse than it is, such as by having all or nothing thinking, only seeing the negative in a situation, jumping to conclusions, trying to read other people's minds, or assuming other people's behaviors are because of you. Your therapist can help you identify when this is happening so you can learn how to stop.\\nRemember, the therapist is there to help you, not punish or shame you for feeling bad.\\nIf you aren’t able to afford therapy, consider visiting a counseling clinic at a nearby university with a mental health counseling program. Sometimes, they offer free or heavily discounted sessions to help graduate students gain patient experience.\\n2-4. Surround yourself with people who are confident and supportive.\\nMake friends with people who are outgoing, kind, friendly, and positive. Try looking for “body positive” groups in your area to meet other people who might have struggled with low self-esteem or a negative self-image. Don’t be afraid to cut ties with people who make you feel bad about your appearance or weight.\\nSpeak up when your friends say body-negative things about themselves and others. If someone says something negative about their body, say something like, “You’re a beautiful person inside and out! Let’s focus on what we like about ourselves, not what we don’t like.”\\n2-5. Compliment yourself and others on traits that aren’t related to appearance.\\nSometimes, low self-esteem can come from placing too much value on how you look. Shift your frame of reference by praising other people and yourself for qualities and skills that aren’t related to looks. This can help you realize your own worth and encourage others to be more confident.\\nFor example, if you have an important meeting at work, you can approach one of your coworkers after the meeting and say, “I really admire how great you are at public speaking! You made the information so easy to understand. Thank you so much!”\\nIf you have children, you can model this behavior by praising them for qualities rather than looks. For instance, instead of saying “You look so handsome!” or “You’re so pretty!” you can say “You’re so kind to your friends!” or “You’re so intelligent!”\\n2-6. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or do a daunting task.\\nAccomplishing something new can be a huge confidence booster, and you might be surprised at what you can do. Enroll in a class at a community college, or do something around your house that you’ve never done before.\\nFor instance, if your car has an oil change coming up, you can challenge yourself to do it by yourself. Check out tutorials online and read your owner’s manual, and then use the information that you’ve learned to do the oil change.\\nIf you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, take an introductory class that meets weekly and practice your skills at home. You might be impressed by how much you can learn in just a few months!\\n2-7. Participate in activities that you enjoy.\\nOne of the best ways to feel good about yourself is by doing things that you’re good at. Show off your skills by signing up for a team sport, or joining a local club for enthusiasts. This will help you meet people with similar interests and show you that you’re worth more than your appearance.\\nFor example, if you like bowling, you can sign up for a local bowling league to make new friends and practice your game.\\nIf you like books and reading, find a book club that meets near you and read the book for the next meeting.\\n3. Identifying Inspirational and Positive Overweight People\\n3-1. Look for positive representations of overweight people in TV shows and movies.\\nWith the body positive movement gaining strength, plus size people have had more representation. Think about characters like Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project, Becky on Empire, Titus Burgess on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Toby on This Is Us, who aren’t used as jokes for the TV show.\\nKeep in mind that even if a show or movie has a plus size person on the cast, it might portray them negatively. Try to watch shows and movies that focus on positive, real-life depictions of overweight people.\\nThe actors and actresses who play these characters can also be good examples of how to be confident when you’re an overweight adult.\\n3-2. Support stores that use diverse models in their advertisements.\\nShopping as a plus size person can be incredibly frustrating. Look for stores and brands that showcase a variety of shapes and sizes in their advertisements to get a good idea of which stores will have clothes that flatter your body type. Keep in mind that some stores might have a separate section for extended sizes that showcase the clothes on plus size models.\\nFor example, Target has a variety of plus size collections for men and women, and these sections in the store have pictures of plus size models wearing the clothes. They can also have plus size mannequins that give an example of how the clothes might look in real life.\\nOnline “fast fashion” retailers, like ASOS, Forever21, and H&M, also use plus size models for their extended sizes and offer a variety of fashionable, inexpensive clothing options for overweight people.\\nThe popularity of plus size models, such as Tess Holliday and Zach Miko, have encouraged major brands to move into the plus-size clothing industry.\\n3-3. Identify overweight athletes who exercise to stay healthy.\\nSearch for news stories about athletes like Mirna Valerio, who is a runner, and Jessamyn Stanley, a yoga instructor, both of whom are plus size women who are active because it helps them build strength and maintain their health. Use their stories as inspiration for creating your own workout routine that focuses on improving your skills and health, rather than losing weight.\\nOften, people assume that an overweight person would only exercise to lose weight. These athletes work hard to challenge these ideas.\\nSome overweight athletes offer free training videos for overweight people who are just getting started with becoming more active.\\nTips\\nKeep in mind that it’s okay to feel down and sad sometimes. Those feelings are normal to have sometimes, but you shouldn’t feel that way all the time. If you do find yourself feeling upset or helpless about your weight, consider making an appointment with a therapist to identify some healthy coping mechanisms for these feelings.\\nRemember that you shouldn't try to lose weight or change your appearance to impress someone else. If you want to make a lifestyle change, focus on the positive health benefits, rather than idea of becoming \\\"attractive\\\" or \\\"beautiful.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In the United States, 70.7% of adults over the age of 20 are considered overweight. However, as an overweight adult, you might sometimes feel lonely or insecure about your appearance. Luckily, you can build confidence in yourself and work on having a healthier and happier relationship with your body, which can lead to a more fulfilling life. By focusing on body positivity, tackling negative thoughts and low self-esteem, and finding inspirational figures, you can learn to be more confident in yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Confidence in Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself of the great things your body can do.\", \"描述\": \"It can become easy to focus on what you can’t do. Instead of dwelling on these, come up with a few amazing things that you can do, like singing, playing an instrument, or painting.\\nSome people also find it helpful to think of even the normal things that their body can do. For example, you can say “My body is strong enough to carry me throughout the day.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and happy with your body.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re picking your clothes, try not to worry about what other people might think or say about your outfit. Find clothes that express your personality and celebrate your body.\\nFor instance, if you like a certain TV show, look on websites like Etsy or RedBubble to see if you can find a shirt in your size that has a character or phrase from the show on it.\\nPick your favorite features and buy clothes that show them off. For example, if you’re taller and have long legs, wear high-waisted pants and heels to elongate your legs.\\nIf you’re not sure what to wear to flatter your body, try following some “guidelines” for how to dress in flattering clothes for your shape. Visit a store that caters to plus-size bodies, and ask for recommendations. No matter what size you are, you can dress well and look put-together.\\nDon't worry about the size listed on your clothing label. These numbers are arbitrary and don't define you! You are a unique individual who is more than just a number on the label.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pamper your body with a trip to the spa or a day of relaxation.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your body is take care of it! Make an appointment for a facial or massage at your local spa, or take a relaxing bath at home. Take that time to feel good about your body and take care of your skin, muscles, and hair.\\nYou can also throw your own mini spa day at home by taking a bath, giving yourself a manicure and pedicure, exfoliating and moisturizing your skin, and doing an at-home facemask.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be critical of ads that tell you how you’re supposed to look.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, there are plenty of companies who make money off of people’s insecurities. When you see advertisements for clothes or weight loss products, think about whether or not the company wants you to feel bad about yourself and buy their product to feel better. If a company is telling you that you need their product to make you beautiful or acceptable, they’re probably trying to play on your insecurities.\\nFor instance, if an ad starts with something like “Want to get rid of those unsightly fat rolls on your stomach and back?” the goal of the ad is to make you self-conscious about something that most people experience, regardless of their weight. The ad suggests the idea that fat rolls are unsightly and bad. When you feel bad about how you look, you’re more likely to be interested in what they’re selling.\\nAdvertising is meant to make you feel a certain way to get you to react to the product or brand. In most cases, the companies want you to buy a product. If you understand what they’re doing in their ads, it’s easier to resist the urge to feel bad about your body.\\nInstead of looking at magazines that try to make you feel bad, pick up a magazine that uses normal sized models! More brands are starting to use normal people as models rather than unrealistic, photo-shopped images.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to signals about what your body needs.\", \"描述\": \"Trusting your body is a huge step to being confident in yourself. Notice when you’re feeling hungry, thirsty, energized, or sleepy, and try to take care of what your body needs at that moment. Try to live your life based on what your body is telling you it needs, rather than what outside input, like advertisements or other people, are telling you.\\nLiving your life this way can also lead to a healthier lifestyle overall. It may take some practice, but it’s entirely possible with some dedication.\\nRemember that discussions about your health and weight should occur between you and your doctor. If your doctor believes that your weight might be affecting your health, work with them to come up with a plan for leading a healthier lifestyle.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Combating Low Self-Esteem\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work toward goals you've set for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Pursue your dreams! Make a list of things you want to accomplish, then break them down into small, measurable steps. Check in with yourself regularly to see how well you're making progress! If you're working toward something important to you, you'll have less time to worry about your weight.\\nIt's a good idea to set some goals that are health related, such as increasing your activity level or eating more vegetables. However, make sure you're also working toward your life goals, like earning a degree, getting a job you want, expanding your creative life, doing an open mic night, or starting your own herb garden.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself that you have the right to feel good about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re dealing with a lack of confidence, it can help to give yourself permission to feel good. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “I have the right to feel good about myself and my body.” You can also come up with some other mantra that helps you feel good and remind you of your worth.\\nIf you have trouble with negative thoughts about your body, you can try redirecting these thoughts into positive thoughts by saying something like “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes, but I know that I’m a beautiful person inside and out.”\\nEven if you don’t believe what you’re saying in the moment, just saying the phrase can help you feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider seeing a therapist to discuss any negative thoughts or habits.\", \"描述\": \"If you frequently find yourself feeling unhappy or even depressed because of your weight, make an appointment with a therapist. Talk to them about your relationship with your body and why you feel down on yourself. Often, a therapist will be able to help you make a plan for changing your behavior for the better.\\nYour therapist can also help you overcome cognitive distortion, which is a common issue. You may have a tendency to distort what's happening in your life to make it seem worse than it is, such as by having all or nothing thinking, only seeing the negative in a situation, jumping to conclusions, trying to read other people's minds, or assuming other people's behaviors are because of you. Your therapist can help you identify when this is happening so you can learn how to stop.\\nRemember, the therapist is there to help you, not punish or shame you for feeling bad.\\nIf you aren’t able to afford therapy, consider visiting a counseling clinic at a nearby university with a mental health counseling program. Sometimes, they offer free or heavily discounted sessions to help graduate students gain patient experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with people who are confident and supportive.\", \"描述\": \"Make friends with people who are outgoing, kind, friendly, and positive. Try looking for “body positive” groups in your area to meet other people who might have struggled with low self-esteem or a negative self-image. Don’t be afraid to cut ties with people who make you feel bad about your appearance or weight.\\nSpeak up when your friends say body-negative things about themselves and others. If someone says something negative about their body, say something like, “You’re a beautiful person inside and out! Let’s focus on what we like about ourselves, not what we don’t like.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compliment yourself and others on traits that aren’t related to appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, low self-esteem can come from placing too much value on how you look. Shift your frame of reference by praising other people and yourself for qualities and skills that aren’t related to looks. This can help you realize your own worth and encourage others to be more confident.\\nFor example, if you have an important meeting at work, you can approach one of your coworkers after the meeting and say, “I really admire how great you are at public speaking! You made the information so easy to understand. Thank you so much!”\\nIf you have children, you can model this behavior by praising them for qualities rather than looks. For instance, instead of saying “You look so handsome!” or “You’re so pretty!” you can say “You’re so kind to your friends!” or “You’re so intelligent!”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or do a daunting task.\", \"描述\": \"Accomplishing something new can be a huge confidence booster, and you might be surprised at what you can do. Enroll in a class at a community college, or do something around your house that you’ve never done before.\\nFor instance, if your car has an oil change coming up, you can challenge yourself to do it by yourself. Check out tutorials online and read your owner’s manual, and then use the information that you’ve learned to do the oil change.\\nIf you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, take an introductory class that meets weekly and practice your skills at home. You might be impressed by how much you can learn in just a few months!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Participate in activities that you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is by doing things that you’re good at. Show off your skills by signing up for a team sport, or joining a local club for enthusiasts. This will help you meet people with similar interests and show you that you’re worth more than your appearance.\\nFor example, if you like bowling, you can sign up for a local bowling league to make new friends and practice your game.\\nIf you like books and reading, find a book club that meets near you and read the book for the next meeting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identifying Inspirational and Positive Overweight People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for positive representations of overweight people in TV shows and movies.\", \"描述\": \"With the body positive movement gaining strength, plus size people have had more representation. Think about characters like Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project, Becky on Empire, Titus Burgess on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Toby on This Is Us, who aren’t used as jokes for the TV show.\\nKeep in mind that even if a show or movie has a plus size person on the cast, it might portray them negatively. Try to watch shows and movies that focus on positive, real-life depictions of overweight people.\\nThe actors and actresses who play these characters can also be good examples of how to be confident when you’re an overweight adult.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Support stores that use diverse models in their advertisements.\", \"描述\": \"Shopping as a plus size person can be incredibly frustrating. Look for stores and brands that showcase a variety of shapes and sizes in their advertisements to get a good idea of which stores will have clothes that flatter your body type. Keep in mind that some stores might have a separate section for extended sizes that showcase the clothes on plus size models.\\nFor example, Target has a variety of plus size collections for men and women, and these sections in the store have pictures of plus size models wearing the clothes. They can also have plus size mannequins that give an example of how the clothes might look in real life.\\nOnline “fast fashion” retailers, like ASOS, Forever21, and H&M, also use plus size models for their extended sizes and offer a variety of fashionable, inexpensive clothing options for overweight people.\\nThe popularity of plus size models, such as Tess Holliday and Zach Miko, have encouraged major brands to move into the plus-size clothing industry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify overweight athletes who exercise to stay healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Search for news stories about athletes like Mirna Valerio, who is a runner, and Jessamyn Stanley, a yoga instructor, both of whom are plus size women who are active because it helps them build strength and maintain their health. Use their stories as inspiration for creating your own workout routine that focuses on improving your skills and health, rather than losing weight.\\nOften, people assume that an overweight person would only exercise to lose weight. These athletes work hard to challenge these ideas.\\nSome overweight athletes offer free training videos for overweight people who are just getting started with becoming more active.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep in mind that it’s okay to feel down and sad sometimes. Those feelings are normal to have sometimes, but you shouldn’t feel that way all the time. If you do find yourself feeling upset or helpless about your weight, consider making an appointment with a therapist to identify some healthy coping mechanisms for these feelings.\\n\", \"Remember that you shouldn't try to lose weight or change your appearance to impress someone else. If you want to make a lifestyle change, focus on the positive health benefits, rather than idea of becoming \\\"attractive\\\" or \\\"beautiful.\\\"\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,632 | How to Be Confident As a Short Person | 1. Brushing Off the Negativity
1-1. Make the jokes first.
When you're short, people are going to make jokes about it. They make jokes to make you feel bad. But if you're the first one to make jokes, if you participate in a little self-deprecating humor, they'll be much less likely to make them. It will also make them like you more because it will be clear that you have a good sense of humor, and people like that.
"You wanna come grocery shopping with me? I'm tired of having to rely on that creepy guy in aisle three to reach the top-shelf shampoo for me."
"I may be even shorter than Woody Allen but I'm also way more charming."
1-2. Don't sweat being little.
People will tease you about how you look so young or you're so little, but don't worry about it. We hate looking younger when we're young, but short people get to look younger even when they're old, and that's awesome. You're going to look young and hot for years after they start looking old and gross.
1-3. Embrace your uniqueness.
When people tease you, point out that they are average size and who would want to be average? Not you! You're unique and just can't fit in that average label. Boring!
1-4. Get more guys/girls.
You might get teased about how you're going to find someone to date because of your size. But what they forget about is that there are lots of other average or small size people. Shorter/average size guys will want a short girl because they might not want to date a girl that's taller than them, and average size girls will have fun dating a guy that's their same size (because making out works a lot better!).
1-5. Be too awesome for a team.
Another common joke is that you'll always get picked last in sports. But don't worry about this. Tell people that the reason you have to get picked last is because picking you first would give the team an unfair advantage: you're way too much awesome to have in a team all at once and they need to balance you out first with guys that suck.
2. Embracing Your Stature
2-1. Come up with a better phrase.
You're not short. It's not fun to think of yourself as short. So find another term or phrase to use when people call you short. Make it funny and you'll get a lot of laughs and people will like you more. So now when someone calls you short you'll be able to say, "No I'm not, I'm...":
"...travel-sized for your convenience."
"...vertically challenged!"
"...height disadvantaged."
"...fun sized."
"...playing it safe with gravity."
"...enjoying the weather down here better."
2-2. Get great clothes.
You may hear that companies don't really make clothes for girls who are short, but don't think this will keep you from getting clothing. Short girls have way more options for a number of reasons. First, you can also shop in the teen section, which often has really cute clothes which are cheaper than the stuff in the women's section. Second, the smaller sizes are less in demand, so you will have a better chance of finding things on the rack or in the bins. It's also the fringe sizes, like the really small clothes, that go on sale most often.
2-3. Don't sweat the too-long shirts and pants.
Yeah, your pants drag on the floor. It sucks. But you have an option open to you that tall people do not: you can get them hemmed. Either learn to sew (either by hand or with a machine) and you'll have clothes that fit in no time. You can also easily get clothes tailored. This isn't as expensive as it sounds.
2-4. Enjoy all the space you'll have.
Everyone else is going to struggle to sit in crowded planes or trains. Meanwhile, for you, everything is like first class. Stretch those legs out! Suckers!
2-5. Milk your innocent look for all it's worth.
Because you look more like a little kid, older people and even people your own age are going to assume you're super innocent. You can use this to your advantage and get out of all sorts of trouble and situations you'd rather not be in.
2-6. Realize that being tall sized isn't something you have to have to be beautiful.
There are a lot of short and pretty people in the world. Plus, if you're tiny and so are your features, you can be classed as cute-and that's pretty sweet. So don't feel so down about being short. If you're a man, remember that men get judged on a lot of things besides their appearance - jockeys are great athletes too. Skills, successes, fitness, brains, and resources can make you very attractive to women.Other than this short guys and tall women do look good together .No matter what people say if you are a good person and your mindset is healthy you can conquer this world.
2-7. Play sports where you'll excel.
Soccer, rugby, cycling, gymnastics, figure skating: there are lots of sports where being short is a huge advantage! Take advantage of this and boost your confidence by being the person that everyone wants on their team.
3. Building Your Confidence
3-1. Love other short people.
Lots of totally cool people are actually super short. Tom Cruise is 5'7", Daniel Radcliffe is 5'5", and Danny DeVito is 4'10"! As for girls, lots of famous actresses are 5'3" or shorter, like Vanessa Hudgens (5'1"), Reese Witherspoon (5'1"), and Snookie is only 4'8"!
3-2. Find good things about your body.
Find things that you like about how you look. Maybe work out and get a nicer body over-all. Realistically, you have to remember that when people are looking for someone to date seriously, height is usually going to matter the least after general appearance personality, and work ethic. Find confidence in other things that people will find attractive and you won't have to worry about your height.
3-3. Be proud of things other than your body.
You should develop your confidence in things other than how you look, because this is a healthier mindset anyway. Learn a cool skill, travel around and have lots of experiences, or even just do something great like volunteering. This will make you proud of yourself and build your confidence. Work hard and built a good career if you can.
3-4. Dress well for the height you have.
You can make a short body look perfectly nice. Just wear clothes that fit and make you look proportional. Girls can wear heels if they want, and guys can sometimes get an extra inch out of platform shoes. Work with what you've got and you'll find that most people won't even notice.
You should also remember that while you can make yourself taller, really tall people can't make themselves shorter. You got the better deal.
3-5. Stop hating on yourself.
You're awesome! People will perceive you the way you want to be perceived, so when you start thinking you're great, other people will follow. Tell yourself every day how awesome you are, take good care of yourself because you deserve it, stop the internal dialogue about how much you suck, and maybe make a list of all the things you like about yourself.
If you don't have a lot of things that you like about yourself, then work on that! You are more than your height, just as everyone else is. I mean, if height was all that was important, no one would like Tom Cruise. Find reasons to be proud of yourself because you should be proud of yourself. You're great!
3-6. Understand that tall people have confidence problems too.
Tall people will have all sorts of their own problems to deal with and things that make them uncomfortable. It's a good case of be careful what you wish for, so just be happy with yourself the way you are.
3-7. Realize that you might grow.
If you're young, even as old as 18 or 19, you should keep in mind that you might still get taller. Many people are "late bloomers" and gain an extra several inches much later than people their same age. If you notice that your parents are average height or taller, you'll probably get there in time.
Tips
If you're a child/teen and still growing, make sure you have a healthy diet, enriched with vitamins and minerals. You never know!
Subtle heels can secretly shoot you up a few inches.
Remember being fun-sized is much better than being regular sized. Fun is better!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Brushing Off the Negativity\\n1-1. Make the jokes first.\\nWhen you're short, people are going to make jokes about it. They make jokes to make you feel bad. But if you're the first one to make jokes, if you participate in a little self-deprecating humor, they'll be much less likely to make them. It will also make them like you more because it will be clear that you have a good sense of humor, and people like that. \\n\\\"You wanna come grocery shopping with me? I'm tired of having to rely on that creepy guy in aisle three to reach the top-shelf shampoo for me.\\\"\\n\\\"I may be even shorter than Woody Allen but I'm also way more charming.\\\"\\n1-2. Don't sweat being little.\\nPeople will tease you about how you look so young or you're so little, but don't worry about it. We hate looking younger when we're young, but short people get to look younger even when they're old, and that's awesome. You're going to look young and hot for years after they start looking old and gross.\\n1-3. Embrace your uniqueness.\\nWhen people tease you, point out that they are average size and who would want to be average? Not you! You're unique and just can't fit in that average label. Boring!\\n1-4. Get more guys/girls.\\nYou might get teased about how you're going to find someone to date because of your size. But what they forget about is that there are lots of other average or small size people. Shorter/average size guys will want a short girl because they might not want to date a girl that's taller than them, and average size girls will have fun dating a guy that's their same size (because making out works a lot better!).\\n1-5. Be too awesome for a team.\\nAnother common joke is that you'll always get picked last in sports. But don't worry about this. Tell people that the reason you have to get picked last is because picking you first would give the team an unfair advantage: you're way too much awesome to have in a team all at once and they need to balance you out first with guys that suck.\\n2. Embracing Your Stature\\n2-1. Come up with a better phrase.\\nYou're not short. It's not fun to think of yourself as short. So find another term or phrase to use when people call you short. Make it funny and you'll get a lot of laughs and people will like you more. So now when someone calls you short you'll be able to say, \\\"No I'm not, I'm...\\\":\\n\\\"...travel-sized for your convenience.\\\"\\n\\\"...vertically challenged!\\\"\\n\\\"...height disadvantaged.\\\"\\n\\\"...fun sized.\\\"\\n\\\"...playing it safe with gravity.\\\"\\n\\\"...enjoying the weather down here better.\\\"\\n2-2. Get great clothes.\\nYou may hear that companies don't really make clothes for girls who are short, but don't think this will keep you from getting clothing. Short girls have way more options for a number of reasons. First, you can also shop in the teen section, which often has really cute clothes which are cheaper than the stuff in the women's section. Second, the smaller sizes are less in demand, so you will have a better chance of finding things on the rack or in the bins. It's also the fringe sizes, like the really small clothes, that go on sale most often.\\n2-3. Don't sweat the too-long shirts and pants.\\nYeah, your pants drag on the floor. It sucks. But you have an option open to you that tall people do not: you can get them hemmed. Either learn to sew (either by hand or with a machine) and you'll have clothes that fit in no time. You can also easily get clothes tailored. This isn't as expensive as it sounds.\\n2-4. Enjoy all the space you'll have.\\nEveryone else is going to struggle to sit in crowded planes or trains. Meanwhile, for you, everything is like first class. Stretch those legs out! Suckers!\\n2-5. Milk your innocent look for all it's worth.\\nBecause you look more like a little kid, older people and even people your own age are going to assume you're super innocent. You can use this to your advantage and get out of all sorts of trouble and situations you'd rather not be in.\\n2-6. Realize that being tall sized isn't something you have to have to be beautiful.\\nThere are a lot of short and pretty people in the world. Plus, if you're tiny and so are your features, you can be classed as cute-and that's pretty sweet. So don't feel so down about being short. If you're a man, remember that men get judged on a lot of things besides their appearance - jockeys are great athletes too. Skills, successes, fitness, brains, and resources can make you very attractive to women.Other than this short guys and tall women do look good together .No matter what people say if you are a good person and your mindset is healthy you can conquer this world.\\n2-7. Play sports where you'll excel.\\nSoccer, rugby, cycling, gymnastics, figure skating: there are lots of sports where being short is a huge advantage! Take advantage of this and boost your confidence by being the person that everyone wants on their team.\\n3. Building Your Confidence\\n3-1. Love other short people.\\nLots of totally cool people are actually super short. Tom Cruise is 5'7\\\", Daniel Radcliffe is 5'5\\\", and Danny DeVito is 4'10\\\"! As for girls, lots of famous actresses are 5'3\\\" or shorter, like Vanessa Hudgens (5'1\\\"), Reese Witherspoon (5'1\\\"), and Snookie is only 4'8\\\"!\\n3-2. Find good things about your body.\\nFind things that you like about how you look. Maybe work out and get a nicer body over-all. Realistically, you have to remember that when people are looking for someone to date seriously, height is usually going to matter the least after general appearance personality, and work ethic. Find confidence in other things that people will find attractive and you won't have to worry about your height.\\n3-3. Be proud of things other than your body.\\nYou should develop your confidence in things other than how you look, because this is a healthier mindset anyway. Learn a cool skill, travel around and have lots of experiences, or even just do something great like volunteering. This will make you proud of yourself and build your confidence. Work hard and built a good career if you can.\\n3-4. Dress well for the height you have.\\nYou can make a short body look perfectly nice. Just wear clothes that fit and make you look proportional. Girls can wear heels if they want, and guys can sometimes get an extra inch out of platform shoes. Work with what you've got and you'll find that most people won't even notice.\\nYou should also remember that while you can make yourself taller, really tall people can't make themselves shorter. You got the better deal.\\n3-5. Stop hating on yourself.\\nYou're awesome! People will perceive you the way you want to be perceived, so when you start thinking you're great, other people will follow. Tell yourself every day how awesome you are, take good care of yourself because you deserve it, stop the internal dialogue about how much you suck, and maybe make a list of all the things you like about yourself.\\nIf you don't have a lot of things that you like about yourself, then work on that! You are more than your height, just as everyone else is. I mean, if height was all that was important, no one would like Tom Cruise. Find reasons to be proud of yourself because you should be proud of yourself. You're great!\\n3-6. Understand that tall people have confidence problems too.\\nTall people will have all sorts of their own problems to deal with and things that make them uncomfortable. It's a good case of be careful what you wish for, so just be happy with yourself the way you are.\\n3-7. Realize that you might grow.\\nIf you're young, even as old as 18 or 19, you should keep in mind that you might still get taller. Many people are \\\"late bloomers\\\" and gain an extra several inches much later than people their same age. If you notice that your parents are average height or taller, you'll probably get there in time.\\nTips\\nIf you're a child/teen and still growing, make sure you have a healthy diet, enriched with vitamins and minerals. You never know!\\nSubtle heels can secretly shoot you up a few inches.\\nRemember being fun-sized is much better than being regular sized. Fun is better!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes, being one too many centimeters shorter than your friends can really blow your confidence. People can be very cruel to others who are not-so-tall. All of this pressure can leave you with very low self-esteem and self confidence. If you want to build up that confidence again, then this is the article for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brushing Off the Negativity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the jokes first.\", \"描述\": \"When you're short, people are going to make jokes about it. They make jokes to make you feel bad. But if you're the first one to make jokes, if you participate in a little self-deprecating humor, they'll be much less likely to make them. It will also make them like you more because it will be clear that you have a good sense of humor, and people like that. \\n\\\"You wanna come grocery shopping with me? I'm tired of having to rely on that creepy guy in aisle three to reach the top-shelf shampoo for me.\\\"\\n\\\"I may be even shorter than Woody Allen but I'm also way more charming.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't sweat being little.\", \"描述\": \"People will tease you about how you look so young or you're so little, but don't worry about it. We hate looking younger when we're young, but short people get to look younger even when they're old, and that's awesome. You're going to look young and hot for years after they start looking old and gross.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace your uniqueness.\", \"描述\": \"When people tease you, point out that they are average size and who would want to be average? Not you! You're unique and just can't fit in that average label. Boring!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get more guys/girls.\", \"描述\": \"You might get teased about how you're going to find someone to date because of your size. But what they forget about is that there are lots of other average or small size people. Shorter/average size guys will want a short girl because they might not want to date a girl that's taller than them, and average size girls will have fun dating a guy that's their same size (because making out works a lot better!).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be too awesome for a team.\", \"描述\": \"Another common joke is that you'll always get picked last in sports. But don't worry about this. Tell people that the reason you have to get picked last is because picking you first would give the team an unfair advantage: you're way too much awesome to have in a team all at once and they need to balance you out first with guys that suck.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embracing Your Stature\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come up with a better phrase.\", \"描述\": \"You're not short. It's not fun to think of yourself as short. So find another term or phrase to use when people call you short. Make it funny and you'll get a lot of laughs and people will like you more. So now when someone calls you short you'll be able to say, \\\"No I'm not, I'm...\\\":\\n\\\"...travel-sized for your convenience.\\\"\\n\\\"...vertically challenged!\\\"\\n\\\"...height disadvantaged.\\\"\\n\\\"...fun sized.\\\"\\n\\\"...playing it safe with gravity.\\\"\\n\\\"...enjoying the weather down here better.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get great clothes.\", \"描述\": \"You may hear that companies don't really make clothes for girls who are short, but don't think this will keep you from getting clothing. Short girls have way more options for a number of reasons. First, you can also shop in the teen section, which often has really cute clothes which are cheaper than the stuff in the women's section. Second, the smaller sizes are less in demand, so you will have a better chance of finding things on the rack or in the bins. It's also the fringe sizes, like the really small clothes, that go on sale most often.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't sweat the too-long shirts and pants.\", \"描述\": \"Yeah, your pants drag on the floor. It sucks. But you have an option open to you that tall people do not: you can get them hemmed. Either learn to sew (either by hand or with a machine) and you'll have clothes that fit in no time. You can also easily get clothes tailored. This isn't as expensive as it sounds.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy all the space you'll have.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone else is going to struggle to sit in crowded planes or trains. Meanwhile, for you, everything is like first class. Stretch those legs out! Suckers!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Milk your innocent look for all it's worth.\", \"描述\": \"Because you look more like a little kid, older people and even people your own age are going to assume you're super innocent. You can use this to your advantage and get out of all sorts of trouble and situations you'd rather not be in.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Realize that being tall sized isn't something you have to have to be beautiful.\", \"描述\": \"There are a lot of short and pretty people in the world. Plus, if you're tiny and so are your features, you can be classed as cute-and that's pretty sweet. So don't feel so down about being short. If you're a man, remember that men get judged on a lot of things besides their appearance - jockeys are great athletes too. Skills, successes, fitness, brains, and resources can make you very attractive to women.Other than this short guys and tall women do look good together .No matter what people say if you are a good person and your mindset is healthy you can conquer this world.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Play sports where you'll excel.\", \"描述\": \"Soccer, rugby, cycling, gymnastics, figure skating: there are lots of sports where being short is a huge advantage! Take advantage of this and boost your confidence by being the person that everyone wants on their team.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Love other short people.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of totally cool people are actually super short. Tom Cruise is 5'7\\\", Daniel Radcliffe is 5'5\\\", and Danny DeVito is 4'10\\\"! As for girls, lots of famous actresses are 5'3\\\" or shorter, like Vanessa Hudgens (5'1\\\"), Reese Witherspoon (5'1\\\"), and Snookie is only 4'8\\\"!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find good things about your body.\", \"描述\": \"Find things that you like about how you look. Maybe work out and get a nicer body over-all. Realistically, you have to remember that when people are looking for someone to date seriously, height is usually going to matter the least after general appearance personality, and work ethic. Find confidence in other things that people will find attractive and you won't have to worry about your height.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be proud of things other than your body.\", \"描述\": \"You should develop your confidence in things other than how you look, because this is a healthier mindset anyway. Learn a cool skill, travel around and have lots of experiences, or even just do something great like volunteering. This will make you proud of yourself and build your confidence. Work hard and built a good career if you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress well for the height you have.\", \"描述\": \"You can make a short body look perfectly nice. Just wear clothes that fit and make you look proportional. Girls can wear heels if they want, and guys can sometimes get an extra inch out of platform shoes. Work with what you've got and you'll find that most people won't even notice.\\nYou should also remember that while you can make yourself taller, really tall people can't make themselves shorter. You got the better deal.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop hating on yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You're awesome! People will perceive you the way you want to be perceived, so when you start thinking you're great, other people will follow. Tell yourself every day how awesome you are, take good care of yourself because you deserve it, stop the internal dialogue about how much you suck, and maybe make a list of all the things you like about yourself.\\nIf you don't have a lot of things that you like about yourself, then work on that! You are more than your height, just as everyone else is. I mean, if height was all that was important, no one would like Tom Cruise. Find reasons to be proud of yourself because you should be proud of yourself. You're great!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Understand that tall people have confidence problems too.\", \"描述\": \"Tall people will have all sorts of their own problems to deal with and things that make them uncomfortable. It's a good case of be careful what you wish for, so just be happy with yourself the way you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Realize that you might grow.\", \"描述\": \"If you're young, even as old as 18 or 19, you should keep in mind that you might still get taller. Many people are \\\"late bloomers\\\" and gain an extra several inches much later than people their same age. If you notice that your parents are average height or taller, you'll probably get there in time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're a child/teen and still growing, make sure you have a healthy diet, enriched with vitamins and minerals. You never know!\\n\", \"Subtle heels can secretly shoot you up a few inches.\\n\", \"Remember being fun-sized is much better than being regular sized. Fun is better!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,633 | How to Be Confident During a Beauty Pageant Interview | 1. Preparing and Practicing
1-1. Watch interviews from past pageants.
It’s hard to be confident when you don’t know what to expect from the interviewing process. One of the best ways to prepare yourself is to watch the pageant interview section from past years. There are many recordings of major beauty pageants on online sites like Youtube or pageant websites.
You can also try to get in touch with the organizers of the pageant if you are competing in a small or local pageant and see if they can connect with recordings.
If you can’t find footage from your particular pageant, watch interviews from similar pageants to see the kinds of questions that are posed to the contestants.
1-2. Talk to former contestants.
No one knows what the interview process is like better than people who have already been through it. Get in touch with former contestants either through contacts you may have or by connecting through email or social media. Ask them what interviewing was like for them and request advice.
Ask the former contestant if there was anything about the interview that they didn’t expect, and ask them what goes on behind the scenes.
Ask the contestant if they were asked any challenging questions, and what advice they would give you for answering more difficult questions.
1-3. Find out the interview procedure for your pageant.
Every pageant does the interviewing process slightly differently. Make sure that you understand exactly how the pageant you are competing in does the interview.
Make sure you know the length of the interview, as well as the number of questions usually asked.
Also know what time the interview is and how the interviewing process fits in with the rest of the day.
Finally, make sure you understand the judging system of the interview. Many beauty pageants have a panel of judges that assess your answers based on multiple criteria. See if there is a copy of a rubric or scorecard that judges will use that you can view to prepare for the interview.
1-4. Review your paperwork.
Many pageants require their contestants to submit paperwork to compete in the pageant. The paperwork is often the first resource that judges turn to when formulating questions for individual contestants. The judges draw information from the paperwork and ask questions relating to what the contestant wrote about themselves.
Because paperwork is often used as a tool for formulating questions, it’s good to review what you wrote. This can give you a good idea of what questions you may be asked to answer.
For instance, if you wrote that you love working with animals in your bio, you may be asked in your interview what laws or regulations you think there should be in place to stop cruelty to animals.
If you wrote that you love painting, you might be asked a question about why the arts are important to society.
1-5. Get up to speed on current events.
Beauty pageants aren’t all glitz and glamor: contestants have to prove that they are up to date and knowledgeable about politics and current events. Follow all the major stories in the news, both nationally and internationally, as well as major issues of the past decade. Doing so will make you feel more prepared and confident as you head into the interview.
Make sure you know your opinion on controversial subjects like gun control and national security.
Also be informed about local issues and politicians, especially if you are competing in a local pageant.
1-6. Know your brand.
Think about what differentiates you from your competition. Decide what parts of your personality and talent you want to emphasize. Then think about how you can incorporate these points into answers to common pageant questions.
For instance, maybe you are a sporty girl who was a tomboy growing up. Emphasize how sports helped you grow as a person, and aim to talk about how critical sports and other extracurriculars are in school systems.
1-7. Hire a coach.
Many beauty contestants hire a coach to prepare them for the pageant interview. In large competitions like Miss America, practically all contestants have a coach. Even if you’re competing in a small or local contest, a coach can be an invaluable resource that can be a source of comfort.
1-8. Practice.
Practice your answers to common interview questions. Hold mock interviews with your coach or with a trusted mentor. Even though it’s only practice, speak and hold yourself as you would for the real interview. Practicing will make the real interview feel more familiar and less scary.
Record yourself answering mock interview questions, then review the tapes. With each practice round you do, try to improve on aspects of your performance.
2. Acing the Interview
2-1. Have confident body language.
Positive body language not only makes you look confident; it can also help you to feel more at ease. Stand up straight, keep your chin up and push your shoulders back. Even as you step into the spotlight, if you hold yourself with confidence you will feel the part too.
If you are sitting during the interview, sit up straight in your chair or even lean slightly forward. If you lean back, you will look too casual.
2-2. Smile.
Even if you’re nervous, remember to smile during your interview. When you first walk into the room, smile and make eye contact with each of the judges. Like your body language, a smile can actually make you feel happier and more confident.
2-3. Give your answer while looking at the judges.
When answering questions, make eye contact with the person who asked you the question and talk to him or her. This will make it feel more like you are having a conversation than giving a speech, and should make you feel more comfortable. The judge may even respond by nodding or smiling as you are talking, which are encouraging gestures that will help you feel less nervous.
It will also make you look more personable and natural if you speak to the judges.
2-4. Be yourself.
Don’t put pressure on yourself by trying to act like someone you’re not. Being authentic and real will make you more memorable than saying the things that you think the judges want to hear. Still, try to show yourself in the best light, but do so in a way that stays true to yourself.
For instance, if you are asked what your favorite book is but you're not a big reader, give an answer that allows you to segue into a topic that interests you more. For instance, you could say, "I love reading classic plays like A Streetcar Named Desire because theater is a passion of mine. I see plays around my city whenever I can, and I especially like musical theater."
2-5. Think of the interview as a chance to share yourself.
You can gain a lot of confidence by shifting the way that you think of the interview. Instead of think of it as an interrogation or a way to judge you, think of the interview as a way for the judges and audience to learn more about you.
2-6. Don’t feel like you have to know all the answers.
One of the most common fear about interviews is being asked something that you don’t know the answer to. Remember that if you are asked your opinion about a subject you don’t know very much about, it isn’t the end of the world. You can still form a reply that leaves the judges impressed, as long as your answer shows a level of intelligence and thought.
For instance, if the judges ask you for your opinion on a conflict or war you don’t know that much about, talk about it in a general sense by saying something like, “That’s a good question. This is a topic I’m still researching and learning about, and it's upsetting to hear about the devastation that this conflict is inflicting on this part of the world. All I can hope for is that each side of the conflict can put aside their differences and compromise with each other to stop the cycle of violence."
2-7. Don’t dwell on the last question.
Even you feel like you botched a question, don’t let it get to you. Move on mentally and give your whole attention to the question at hand. If you keep thinking about how you messed up or could have done better, the rest of your performance will suffer.
If you mentally move on and give great answers to the rest of your questions, it’s likely that no one will even remember the question you messed up.
2-8. Keep your answers short and sweet.
The longest answer isn’t necessarily the best answer. The fact that a few succinct sentences are enough will help you to keep focus and stay calm throughout your interview.
3. Fighting Nerves
3-1. Choose the right outfit.
Dressing to the T can give you an enormous confidence boost. Pick an outfit that you know you look good in and that is also comfortable. In general, wear an outfit that is fashionable but isn’t overly glamorous. For instance, wear a tailored blouse and a skirt instead of a low-cut evening dress. If in doubt, dress as though you are going to a job interview.
Don’t wear something like a dress with straps that fall down, or extra high heels that you’re not comfortable walking in. You don’t need the anxiety of having a potential wardrobe mishap on top of your nerves about the pageant.
Make sure that your hair and makeup is also foul proof. Don’t use eyeliner that smears or put your hair up in a style that isn’t secure.
3-2. Get there on time.
Nothing can make your heart race like being late to something important. Even if you are feeling fine about the interview, if you get there late you may feel flustered and anxious, which will affect your performance and drain your confidence. Make sure to give yourself enough time to get to the interview, and even try to arrive a little early.
3-3. Try to relax.
Before something nerve wracking like an interview, it’s common for your mind to race out of control. Once you arrive and are waiting to go on stage, do something calming like listening to music or doing meditative exercises.
Decide what is most relaxing for you. Some prefer to keep to themselves when nervous, while others like the distraction of talking to others.
3-4. Take deep breaths.
In the few minutes before the interview, try to relax. Take deep, slow breaths, thinking about the fact that you are thoroughly prepared for the interview and have done everything you can.
You can also try thinking positive and empowering thoughts. Examples of these are: “This interview is going to go well” and “I am an impressive contestant.”
3-5. Don’t compare yourself to the competition.
Right before your interview, you may hear other contestants interviewing and answering questions. Don’t psych yourself out by comparing yourself to them or questioning your interviewing strategy based on their answers. Stay focused on your plan and try to keep a clear head.
Remember that all contestants are usually asked different questions, so don’t obsess about how you would answer one of their questions.
Tips
Try your best not to compare yourself with the competition. Remember that you have your own unique strengths and talents.
Try to exercise on or before the day of the interview. Physical activity is a great way to counter anxiety.
Create your own uniqueness. Always bring confidence.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing and Practicing\\n1-1. Watch interviews from past pageants.\\nIt’s hard to be confident when you don’t know what to expect from the interviewing process. One of the best ways to prepare yourself is to watch the pageant interview section from past years. There are many recordings of major beauty pageants on online sites like Youtube or pageant websites.\\nYou can also try to get in touch with the organizers of the pageant if you are competing in a small or local pageant and see if they can connect with recordings.\\nIf you can’t find footage from your particular pageant, watch interviews from similar pageants to see the kinds of questions that are posed to the contestants.\\n1-2. Talk to former contestants.\\nNo one knows what the interview process is like better than people who have already been through it. Get in touch with former contestants either through contacts you may have or by connecting through email or social media. Ask them what interviewing was like for them and request advice.\\nAsk the former contestant if there was anything about the interview that they didn’t expect, and ask them what goes on behind the scenes.\\nAsk the contestant if they were asked any challenging questions, and what advice they would give you for answering more difficult questions.\\n1-3. Find out the interview procedure for your pageant.\\nEvery pageant does the interviewing process slightly differently. Make sure that you understand exactly how the pageant you are competing in does the interview.\\nMake sure you know the length of the interview, as well as the number of questions usually asked.\\nAlso know what time the interview is and how the interviewing process fits in with the rest of the day.\\nFinally, make sure you understand the judging system of the interview. Many beauty pageants have a panel of judges that assess your answers based on multiple criteria. See if there is a copy of a rubric or scorecard that judges will use that you can view to prepare for the interview.\\n1-4. Review your paperwork.\\nMany pageants require their contestants to submit paperwork to compete in the pageant. The paperwork is often the first resource that judges turn to when formulating questions for individual contestants. The judges draw information from the paperwork and ask questions relating to what the contestant wrote about themselves.\\nBecause paperwork is often used as a tool for formulating questions, it’s good to review what you wrote. This can give you a good idea of what questions you may be asked to answer.\\nFor instance, if you wrote that you love working with animals in your bio, you may be asked in your interview what laws or regulations you think there should be in place to stop cruelty to animals.\\nIf you wrote that you love painting, you might be asked a question about why the arts are important to society.\\n1-5. Get up to speed on current events.\\nBeauty pageants aren’t all glitz and glamor: contestants have to prove that they are up to date and knowledgeable about politics and current events. Follow all the major stories in the news, both nationally and internationally, as well as major issues of the past decade. Doing so will make you feel more prepared and confident as you head into the interview. \\nMake sure you know your opinion on controversial subjects like gun control and national security.\\nAlso be informed about local issues and politicians, especially if you are competing in a local pageant.\\n1-6. Know your brand.\\nThink about what differentiates you from your competition. Decide what parts of your personality and talent you want to emphasize. Then think about how you can incorporate these points into answers to common pageant questions.\\nFor instance, maybe you are a sporty girl who was a tomboy growing up. Emphasize how sports helped you grow as a person, and aim to talk about how critical sports and other extracurriculars are in school systems.\\n1-7. Hire a coach.\\nMany beauty contestants hire a coach to prepare them for the pageant interview. In large competitions like Miss America, practically all contestants have a coach. Even if you’re competing in a small or local contest, a coach can be an invaluable resource that can be a source of comfort.\\n1-8. Practice.\\nPractice your answers to common interview questions. Hold mock interviews with your coach or with a trusted mentor. Even though it’s only practice, speak and hold yourself as you would for the real interview. Practicing will make the real interview feel more familiar and less scary.\\nRecord yourself answering mock interview questions, then review the tapes. With each practice round you do, try to improve on aspects of your performance.\\n2. Acing the Interview\\n2-1. Have confident body language.\\nPositive body language not only makes you look confident; it can also help you to feel more at ease. Stand up straight, keep your chin up and push your shoulders back. Even as you step into the spotlight, if you hold yourself with confidence you will feel the part too.\\nIf you are sitting during the interview, sit up straight in your chair or even lean slightly forward. If you lean back, you will look too casual.\\n2-2. Smile.\\nEven if you’re nervous, remember to smile during your interview. When you first walk into the room, smile and make eye contact with each of the judges. Like your body language, a smile can actually make you feel happier and more confident.\\n2-3. Give your answer while looking at the judges.\\nWhen answering questions, make eye contact with the person who asked you the question and talk to him or her. This will make it feel more like you are having a conversation than giving a speech, and should make you feel more comfortable. The judge may even respond by nodding or smiling as you are talking, which are encouraging gestures that will help you feel less nervous. \\nIt will also make you look more personable and natural if you speak to the judges.\\n2-4. Be yourself.\\nDon’t put pressure on yourself by trying to act like someone you’re not. Being authentic and real will make you more memorable than saying the things that you think the judges want to hear. Still, try to show yourself in the best light, but do so in a way that stays true to yourself.\\nFor instance, if you are asked what your favorite book is but you're not a big reader, give an answer that allows you to segue into a topic that interests you more. For instance, you could say, \\\"I love reading classic plays like A Streetcar Named Desire because theater is a passion of mine. I see plays around my city whenever I can, and I especially like musical theater.\\\"\\n2-5. Think of the interview as a chance to share yourself.\\nYou can gain a lot of confidence by shifting the way that you think of the interview. Instead of think of it as an interrogation or a way to judge you, think of the interview as a way for the judges and audience to learn more about you.\\n2-6. Don’t feel like you have to know all the answers.\\nOne of the most common fear about interviews is being asked something that you don’t know the answer to. Remember that if you are asked your opinion about a subject you don’t know very much about, it isn’t the end of the world. You can still form a reply that leaves the judges impressed, as long as your answer shows a level of intelligence and thought.\\nFor instance, if the judges ask you for your opinion on a conflict or war you don’t know that much about, talk about it in a general sense by saying something like, “That’s a good question. This is a topic I’m still researching and learning about, and it's upsetting to hear about the devastation that this conflict is inflicting on this part of the world. All I can hope for is that each side of the conflict can put aside their differences and compromise with each other to stop the cycle of violence.\\\"\\n2-7. Don’t dwell on the last question.\\nEven you feel like you botched a question, don’t let it get to you. Move on mentally and give your whole attention to the question at hand. If you keep thinking about how you messed up or could have done better, the rest of your performance will suffer.\\nIf you mentally move on and give great answers to the rest of your questions, it’s likely that no one will even remember the question you messed up.\\n2-8. Keep your answers short and sweet.\\nThe longest answer isn’t necessarily the best answer. The fact that a few succinct sentences are enough will help you to keep focus and stay calm throughout your interview.\\n3. Fighting Nerves\\n3-1. Choose the right outfit.\\nDressing to the T can give you an enormous confidence boost. Pick an outfit that you know you look good in and that is also comfortable. In general, wear an outfit that is fashionable but isn’t overly glamorous. For instance, wear a tailored blouse and a skirt instead of a low-cut evening dress. If in doubt, dress as though you are going to a job interview.\\nDon’t wear something like a dress with straps that fall down, or extra high heels that you’re not comfortable walking in. You don’t need the anxiety of having a potential wardrobe mishap on top of your nerves about the pageant.\\nMake sure that your hair and makeup is also foul proof. Don’t use eyeliner that smears or put your hair up in a style that isn’t secure.\\n3-2. Get there on time.\\nNothing can make your heart race like being late to something important. Even if you are feeling fine about the interview, if you get there late you may feel flustered and anxious, which will affect your performance and drain your confidence. Make sure to give yourself enough time to get to the interview, and even try to arrive a little early.\\n3-3. Try to relax.\\nBefore something nerve wracking like an interview, it’s common for your mind to race out of control. Once you arrive and are waiting to go on stage, do something calming like listening to music or doing meditative exercises.\\nDecide what is most relaxing for you. Some prefer to keep to themselves when nervous, while others like the distraction of talking to others.\\n3-4. Take deep breaths.\\nIn the few minutes before the interview, try to relax. Take deep, slow breaths, thinking about the fact that you are thoroughly prepared for the interview and have done everything you can.\\nYou can also try thinking positive and empowering thoughts. Examples of these are: “This interview is going to go well” and “I am an impressive contestant.”\\n3-5. Don’t compare yourself to the competition.\\nRight before your interview, you may hear other contestants interviewing and answering questions. Don’t psych yourself out by comparing yourself to them or questioning your interviewing strategy based on their answers. Stay focused on your plan and try to keep a clear head.\\nRemember that all contestants are usually asked different questions, so don’t obsess about how you would answer one of their questions.\\nTips\\nTry your best not to compare yourself with the competition. Remember that you have your own unique strengths and talents.\\nTry to exercise on or before the day of the interview. Physical activity is a great way to counter anxiety.\\nCreate your own uniqueness. Always bring confidence.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The interview section of a beauty pageant can be nerve-wracking, but it’s also a great time to let your audience get to know you. By answering questions about yourself and why are competing in the pageant, you can show the audience why you as an individual deserve the crown over your competition. Before the interview, prepare thoroughly by talking to former pageant contestants, watching tapes of past pageants, and formulating answers to potential questions. When it comes time to do your interview, take a deep breath, walk in with your head held high, and let your audience know what makes you special as a contestant.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing and Practicing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch interviews from past pageants.\", \"描述\": \"It’s hard to be confident when you don’t know what to expect from the interviewing process. One of the best ways to prepare yourself is to watch the pageant interview section from past years. There are many recordings of major beauty pageants on online sites like Youtube or pageant websites.\\nYou can also try to get in touch with the organizers of the pageant if you are competing in a small or local pageant and see if they can connect with recordings.\\nIf you can’t find footage from your particular pageant, watch interviews from similar pageants to see the kinds of questions that are posed to the contestants.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to former contestants.\", \"描述\": \"No one knows what the interview process is like better than people who have already been through it. Get in touch with former contestants either through contacts you may have or by connecting through email or social media. Ask them what interviewing was like for them and request advice.\\nAsk the former contestant if there was anything about the interview that they didn’t expect, and ask them what goes on behind the scenes.\\nAsk the contestant if they were asked any challenging questions, and what advice they would give you for answering more difficult questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out the interview procedure for your pageant.\", \"描述\": \"Every pageant does the interviewing process slightly differently. Make sure that you understand exactly how the pageant you are competing in does the interview.\\nMake sure you know the length of the interview, as well as the number of questions usually asked.\\nAlso know what time the interview is and how the interviewing process fits in with the rest of the day.\\nFinally, make sure you understand the judging system of the interview. Many beauty pageants have a panel of judges that assess your answers based on multiple criteria. See if there is a copy of a rubric or scorecard that judges will use that you can view to prepare for the interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review your paperwork.\", \"描述\": \"Many pageants require their contestants to submit paperwork to compete in the pageant. The paperwork is often the first resource that judges turn to when formulating questions for individual contestants. The judges draw information from the paperwork and ask questions relating to what the contestant wrote about themselves.\\nBecause paperwork is often used as a tool for formulating questions, it’s good to review what you wrote. This can give you a good idea of what questions you may be asked to answer.\\nFor instance, if you wrote that you love working with animals in your bio, you may be asked in your interview what laws or regulations you think there should be in place to stop cruelty to animals.\\nIf you wrote that you love painting, you might be asked a question about why the arts are important to society.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get up to speed on current events.\", \"描述\": \"Beauty pageants aren’t all glitz and glamor: contestants have to prove that they are up to date and knowledgeable about politics and current events. Follow all the major stories in the news, both nationally and internationally, as well as major issues of the past decade. Doing so will make you feel more prepared and confident as you head into the interview. \\nMake sure you know your opinion on controversial subjects like gun control and national security.\\nAlso be informed about local issues and politicians, especially if you are competing in a local pageant.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know your brand.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what differentiates you from your competition. Decide what parts of your personality and talent you want to emphasize. Then think about how you can incorporate these points into answers to common pageant questions.\\nFor instance, maybe you are a sporty girl who was a tomboy growing up. Emphasize how sports helped you grow as a person, and aim to talk about how critical sports and other extracurriculars are in school systems.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Hire a coach.\", \"描述\": \"Many beauty contestants hire a coach to prepare them for the pageant interview. In large competitions like Miss America, practically all contestants have a coach. Even if you’re competing in a small or local contest, a coach can be an invaluable resource that can be a source of comfort.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"描述\": \"Practice your answers to common interview questions. Hold mock interviews with your coach or with a trusted mentor. Even though it’s only practice, speak and hold yourself as you would for the real interview. Practicing will make the real interview feel more familiar and less scary.\\nRecord yourself answering mock interview questions, then review the tapes. With each practice round you do, try to improve on aspects of your performance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acing the Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have confident body language.\", \"描述\": \"Positive body language not only makes you look confident; it can also help you to feel more at ease. Stand up straight, keep your chin up and push your shoulders back. Even as you step into the spotlight, if you hold yourself with confidence you will feel the part too.\\nIf you are sitting during the interview, sit up straight in your chair or even lean slightly forward. If you lean back, you will look too casual.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’re nervous, remember to smile during your interview. When you first walk into the room, smile and make eye contact with each of the judges. Like your body language, a smile can actually make you feel happier and more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your answer while looking at the judges.\", \"描述\": \"When answering questions, make eye contact with the person who asked you the question and talk to him or her. This will make it feel more like you are having a conversation than giving a speech, and should make you feel more comfortable. The judge may even respond by nodding or smiling as you are talking, which are encouraging gestures that will help you feel less nervous. \\nIt will also make you look more personable and natural if you speak to the judges.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t put pressure on yourself by trying to act like someone you’re not. Being authentic and real will make you more memorable than saying the things that you think the judges want to hear. Still, try to show yourself in the best light, but do so in a way that stays true to yourself.\\nFor instance, if you are asked what your favorite book is but you're not a big reader, give an answer that allows you to segue into a topic that interests you more. For instance, you could say, \\\"I love reading classic plays like A Streetcar Named Desire because theater is a passion of mine. I see plays around my city whenever I can, and I especially like musical theater.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think of the interview as a chance to share yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You can gain a lot of confidence by shifting the way that you think of the interview. Instead of think of it as an interrogation or a way to judge you, think of the interview as a way for the judges and audience to learn more about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t feel like you have to know all the answers.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most common fear about interviews is being asked something that you don’t know the answer to. Remember that if you are asked your opinion about a subject you don’t know very much about, it isn’t the end of the world. You can still form a reply that leaves the judges impressed, as long as your answer shows a level of intelligence and thought.\\nFor instance, if the judges ask you for your opinion on a conflict or war you don’t know that much about, talk about it in a general sense by saying something like, “That’s a good question. This is a topic I’m still researching and learning about, and it's upsetting to hear about the devastation that this conflict is inflicting on this part of the world. All I can hope for is that each side of the conflict can put aside their differences and compromise with each other to stop the cycle of violence.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t dwell on the last question.\", \"描述\": \"Even you feel like you botched a question, don’t let it get to you. Move on mentally and give your whole attention to the question at hand. If you keep thinking about how you messed up or could have done better, the rest of your performance will suffer.\\nIf you mentally move on and give great answers to the rest of your questions, it’s likely that no one will even remember the question you messed up.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep your answers short and sweet.\", \"描述\": \"The longest answer isn’t necessarily the best answer. The fact that a few succinct sentences are enough will help you to keep focus and stay calm throughout your interview.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fighting Nerves\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose the right outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing to the T can give you an enormous confidence boost. Pick an outfit that you know you look good in and that is also comfortable. In general, wear an outfit that is fashionable but isn’t overly glamorous. For instance, wear a tailored blouse and a skirt instead of a low-cut evening dress. If in doubt, dress as though you are going to a job interview.\\nDon’t wear something like a dress with straps that fall down, or extra high heels that you’re not comfortable walking in. You don’t need the anxiety of having a potential wardrobe mishap on top of your nerves about the pageant.\\nMake sure that your hair and makeup is also foul proof. Don’t use eyeliner that smears or put your hair up in a style that isn’t secure.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get there on time.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing can make your heart race like being late to something important. Even if you are feeling fine about the interview, if you get there late you may feel flustered and anxious, which will affect your performance and drain your confidence. Make sure to give yourself enough time to get to the interview, and even try to arrive a little early.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to relax.\", \"描述\": \"Before something nerve wracking like an interview, it’s common for your mind to race out of control. Once you arrive and are waiting to go on stage, do something calming like listening to music or doing meditative exercises.\\nDecide what is most relaxing for you. Some prefer to keep to themselves when nervous, while others like the distraction of talking to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take deep breaths.\", \"描述\": \"In the few minutes before the interview, try to relax. Take deep, slow breaths, thinking about the fact that you are thoroughly prepared for the interview and have done everything you can.\\nYou can also try thinking positive and empowering thoughts. Examples of these are: “This interview is going to go well” and “I am an impressive contestant.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t compare yourself to the competition.\", \"描述\": \"Right before your interview, you may hear other contestants interviewing and answering questions. Don’t psych yourself out by comparing yourself to them or questioning your interviewing strategy based on their answers. Stay focused on your plan and try to keep a clear head.\\nRemember that all contestants are usually asked different questions, so don’t obsess about how you would answer one of their questions.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try your best not to compare yourself with the competition. Remember that you have your own unique strengths and talents.\\n\", \"Try to exercise on or before the day of the interview. Physical activity is a great way to counter anxiety.\\n\", \"Create your own uniqueness. Always bring confidence.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,634 | How to Be Confident During a Presentation | 1. Using Confident Body Language
1-1. Practice good posture.
Hold your head up and keep your chin in when standing and giving a presentation. Imagine you are stretching the top of your head toward the ceiling. Keep your shoulders back and try to keep your earlobes in line with the center of your shoulders. Tuck in your stomach, but be sure not to tilt your pelvis. Your knees should be straight, and the arches of your feet should be supported.
Good posture conveys to the audience that you are confident, credible, and sure of your subject. Speaking with proper posture also allows you to project your voice, making your speech clear and assertive.
1-2. Move around the space.
If you wish to project confidence, don’t be afraid to use the space around you. When you are giving a presentation, try to move around the stage. When people are nervous or apprehensive, they are inclined to close off their movements, stand with their feet together, and hide behind a podium in an attempt to appear small and unnoticeable. This can make you appear inexperienced or anxious. Controlled walking can help you project your expertise and knowledge and can help you feel comfortable in your surroundings.
1-3. Step closer to your audience when you make a point.
When making a point, make a few steps away from the podium toward the audience. Only move toward the audience when the content of your presentation calls for it. If you are making a point or revealing exciting, unexpected information, that is the time to move. Unnecessary movement can be distracting and can make you appear uneasy. Moving close to the audience helps bridge the gap and creates a sense of authority and confidence.
Don’t stand too close to the audience, and don’t move beyond the first row of seats.
As you move toward the audience, think about staying there for a period of 30 seconds. When you step in another direction, spend about another 30 seconds there. Think about trying to reach everyone in your audience, and try to make eye contact with several audience members as you move from section to section.
1-4. Use hand gestures while giving a presentation.
Avoid keeping your arms in a rigid position by your side. Keep your open arms while speaking. Pointing toward the sky can assert an opinion or a fact, while opening your hands can show trustworthiness and inspire audience participation. When coming to the crux of an argument or the summary of your research, point upward with your index finger to assert your authority and appear confident in your conclusion.
Don’t cross your arms during a presentation. While this may be a comfortable position, you may be projecting negative cues to your audience. This closed-off position may make you seem inexperienced, uninterested, or nervous.
1-5. Smile.
A warm, inviting smile will convey to your audience that you are at ease and are comfortable. Your smile will make you appear and sound more pleasant, and you will come off as responsive and composed. Studies have shown that smiling can help reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and your heart rate, all of which will put you at ease while giving your presentation.
1-6. Avoid fidgeting.
It's okay to feel nervous, but avoid projecting that anxiety if you wish to appear confident. Shuffling back and forth, biting your nails, twirling your hair, and other forms of fidgeting can display signs of boredom or nervousness. Take a some slow, deep breaths when you feel the urge to fidget.
1-7. Make eye contact with audience members.
Don’t stare at the floor, at your feet, or at your notes. Look up and make eye contact with your audience members. Eye contact is a great way to not only appear confident, but feel confident as well.
While giving a presentation, maintain eye contact with an individual for periods of 3 to 5 seconds. Eye contact will demonstrate that you are trustworthy and passionate about the topic, and it will help keep your audience’s attention.
2. Speaking with Confidence
2-1. Project your voice.
To appear confident, your voice needs to be heard so your audience can follow your presentation and understand your point. Proper posture will allow you to use the support of your diaphragm, the umbrella-shaped muscle below your stomach, to control the movement of air. When you breathe in, let your stomach expand. This movement is controlled by the diaphragm. Practice using your diaphragm to project your voice.
Lie down on your back, and keep your abdominals and stomach relaxed. Keep one hand on your abdomen, and think about moving it up and down as you breathe in and out.
Find out in advance if you will be using a microphone for your presentation. This can help you plan ahead and adjust the volume of your voice accordingly.
2-2. Vary the speed, pitch, and volume of your voice.
In everyday conversation, your pitch, speed, and volume varies when you are chatting with a friend or sharing a story. A monotonous tone can be boring and may convey to the audience that you are unsure or unprepared. Add interest by playing with the dynamics of your speech. Your audience will be more likely to pay attention to your presentation.
Try to incorporate these variations in speech while giving your presentation, and pretend as though you are having a conversation with a friend or a colleague.
Practice these variations by reading a poem, a play, or another piece of literature aloud.
2-3. Pace yourself.
When people are nervous, they may be more likely to speak quickly and speed through a presentation. Try to maintain a slow and moderate pace while speaking. This will help the audience understand what you are saying and allow you to communicate your ideas clearly and confidently. Speeding up your speech is acceptable to offer variety in your presentation and may be a useful tool when you are making a particular point, but aim to remain regulated, consistent, and articulate during the majority of your presentation.
Stretch out your vowels to slow your speech. Pretend that the vowels are italicized and focus on speaking each one clearly. Practice this technique to ensure that it sounds natural.
Break your presentation up into sections. Plan to pause for a moment or two when you reach the end of each section. Allow for one second to pause before moving on to the next point.
3. Practicing Your Presentation
3-1. Study your material.
The key to projecting confidence during a presentation is to have a comprehensive knowledge of the topic. When you feel like an expert on a particular subject, you are more likely to project that expertise and knowledge to your listeners. Your audience will be able to tell if you are unprepared or nervous. Be sure to study your subject and your presentation slides thoroughly, and be prepared for any questions the audience may have.
3-2. Rehearse it in front of a mirror.
Position yourself in front of a mirror and practice giving your presentation. Pretend that you are in front of your peers and colleagues, and try to imagine that you are on the stage or in front of a classroom while speaking. This will allow you to practice your movements, your pace, your hand gestures, and it will remind you to smile during the speech. You will become more familiar with the material and the flow of the information. After several practice runs, you will be more comfortable and confident.
3-3. Practicing deep breathing techniques.
Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and hold for ten counts. Exhale slowly through your mouth, tightening your abdominals as you release the breath. Deep breathing can help you focus on your presentation and release any anxiety or tension in your body. Incorporate breathing exercises into your daily routine to help you relax and appear calm, composed, and confident in front of your audience.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Confident Body Language\\n1-1. Practice good posture.\\nHold your head up and keep your chin in when standing and giving a presentation. Imagine you are stretching the top of your head toward the ceiling. Keep your shoulders back and try to keep your earlobes in line with the center of your shoulders. Tuck in your stomach, but be sure not to tilt your pelvis. Your knees should be straight, and the arches of your feet should be supported.\\nGood posture conveys to the audience that you are confident, credible, and sure of your subject. Speaking with proper posture also allows you to project your voice, making your speech clear and assertive.\\n1-2. Move around the space.\\nIf you wish to project confidence, don’t be afraid to use the space around you. When you are giving a presentation, try to move around the stage. When people are nervous or apprehensive, they are inclined to close off their movements, stand with their feet together, and hide behind a podium in an attempt to appear small and unnoticeable. This can make you appear inexperienced or anxious. Controlled walking can help you project your expertise and knowledge and can help you feel comfortable in your surroundings.\\n1-3. Step closer to your audience when you make a point.\\nWhen making a point, make a few steps away from the podium toward the audience. Only move toward the audience when the content of your presentation calls for it. If you are making a point or revealing exciting, unexpected information, that is the time to move. Unnecessary movement can be distracting and can make you appear uneasy. Moving close to the audience helps bridge the gap and creates a sense of authority and confidence.\\nDon’t stand too close to the audience, and don’t move beyond the first row of seats.\\nAs you move toward the audience, think about staying there for a period of 30 seconds. When you step in another direction, spend about another 30 seconds there. Think about trying to reach everyone in your audience, and try to make eye contact with several audience members as you move from section to section.\\n1-4. Use hand gestures while giving a presentation.\\nAvoid keeping your arms in a rigid position by your side. Keep your open arms while speaking. Pointing toward the sky can assert an opinion or a fact, while opening your hands can show trustworthiness and inspire audience participation. When coming to the crux of an argument or the summary of your research, point upward with your index finger to assert your authority and appear confident in your conclusion.\\nDon’t cross your arms during a presentation. While this may be a comfortable position, you may be projecting negative cues to your audience. This closed-off position may make you seem inexperienced, uninterested, or nervous.\\n1-5. Smile.\\nA warm, inviting smile will convey to your audience that you are at ease and are comfortable. Your smile will make you appear and sound more pleasant, and you will come off as responsive and composed. Studies have shown that smiling can help reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and your heart rate, all of which will put you at ease while giving your presentation.\\n1-6. Avoid fidgeting.\\nIt's okay to feel nervous, but avoid projecting that anxiety if you wish to appear confident. Shuffling back and forth, biting your nails, twirling your hair, and other forms of fidgeting can display signs of boredom or nervousness. Take a some slow, deep breaths when you feel the urge to fidget.\\n1-7. Make eye contact with audience members.\\nDon’t stare at the floor, at your feet, or at your notes. Look up and make eye contact with your audience members. Eye contact is a great way to not only appear confident, but feel confident as well.\\nWhile giving a presentation, maintain eye contact with an individual for periods of 3 to 5 seconds. Eye contact will demonstrate that you are trustworthy and passionate about the topic, and it will help keep your audience’s attention.\\n2. Speaking with Confidence\\n2-1. Project your voice.\\nTo appear confident, your voice needs to be heard so your audience can follow your presentation and understand your point. Proper posture will allow you to use the support of your diaphragm, the umbrella-shaped muscle below your stomach, to control the movement of air. When you breathe in, let your stomach expand. This movement is controlled by the diaphragm. Practice using your diaphragm to project your voice.\\nLie down on your back, and keep your abdominals and stomach relaxed. Keep one hand on your abdomen, and think about moving it up and down as you breathe in and out.\\nFind out in advance if you will be using a microphone for your presentation. This can help you plan ahead and adjust the volume of your voice accordingly.\\n2-2. Vary the speed, pitch, and volume of your voice.\\nIn everyday conversation, your pitch, speed, and volume varies when you are chatting with a friend or sharing a story. A monotonous tone can be boring and may convey to the audience that you are unsure or unprepared. Add interest by playing with the dynamics of your speech. Your audience will be more likely to pay attention to your presentation.\\nTry to incorporate these variations in speech while giving your presentation, and pretend as though you are having a conversation with a friend or a colleague.\\nPractice these variations by reading a poem, a play, or another piece of literature aloud.\\n2-3. Pace yourself.\\nWhen people are nervous, they may be more likely to speak quickly and speed through a presentation. Try to maintain a slow and moderate pace while speaking. This will help the audience understand what you are saying and allow you to communicate your ideas clearly and confidently. Speeding up your speech is acceptable to offer variety in your presentation and may be a useful tool when you are making a particular point, but aim to remain regulated, consistent, and articulate during the majority of your presentation.\\nStretch out your vowels to slow your speech. Pretend that the vowels are italicized and focus on speaking each one clearly. Practice this technique to ensure that it sounds natural.\\nBreak your presentation up into sections. Plan to pause for a moment or two when you reach the end of each section. Allow for one second to pause before moving on to the next point.\\n3. Practicing Your Presentation\\n3-1. Study your material.\\nThe key to projecting confidence during a presentation is to have a comprehensive knowledge of the topic. When you feel like an expert on a particular subject, you are more likely to project that expertise and knowledge to your listeners. Your audience will be able to tell if you are unprepared or nervous. Be sure to study your subject and your presentation slides thoroughly, and be prepared for any questions the audience may have.\\n3-2. Rehearse it in front of a mirror.\\nPosition yourself in front of a mirror and practice giving your presentation. Pretend that you are in front of your peers and colleagues, and try to imagine that you are on the stage or in front of a classroom while speaking. This will allow you to practice your movements, your pace, your hand gestures, and it will remind you to smile during the speech. You will become more familiar with the material and the flow of the information. After several practice runs, you will be more comfortable and confident.\\n3-3. Practicing deep breathing techniques.\\nTake a slow, deep breath in through your nose and hold for ten counts. Exhale slowly through your mouth, tightening your abdominals as you release the breath. Deep breathing can help you focus on your presentation and release any anxiety or tension in your body. Incorporate breathing exercises into your daily routine to help you relax and appear calm, composed, and confident in front of your audience.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Giving a presentation and speaking in front of a room full of peers can be a stressful experience, but there are ways to project confidence and authority even when you are nervous. It is normal to get tense before a presentation, but you do not want to project that tension to your audience. If you use confident, secure body language, project your voice, and prepare for your presentation in advance, you will feel like a confident, expert speaker.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Confident Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Hold your head up and keep your chin in when standing and giving a presentation. Imagine you are stretching the top of your head toward the ceiling. Keep your shoulders back and try to keep your earlobes in line with the center of your shoulders. Tuck in your stomach, but be sure not to tilt your pelvis. Your knees should be straight, and the arches of your feet should be supported.\\nGood posture conveys to the audience that you are confident, credible, and sure of your subject. Speaking with proper posture also allows you to project your voice, making your speech clear and assertive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move around the space.\", \"描述\": \"If you wish to project confidence, don’t be afraid to use the space around you. When you are giving a presentation, try to move around the stage. When people are nervous or apprehensive, they are inclined to close off their movements, stand with their feet together, and hide behind a podium in an attempt to appear small and unnoticeable. This can make you appear inexperienced or anxious. Controlled walking can help you project your expertise and knowledge and can help you feel comfortable in your surroundings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Step closer to your audience when you make a point.\", \"描述\": \"When making a point, make a few steps away from the podium toward the audience. Only move toward the audience when the content of your presentation calls for it. If you are making a point or revealing exciting, unexpected information, that is the time to move. Unnecessary movement can be distracting and can make you appear uneasy. Moving close to the audience helps bridge the gap and creates a sense of authority and confidence.\\nDon’t stand too close to the audience, and don’t move beyond the first row of seats.\\nAs you move toward the audience, think about staying there for a period of 30 seconds. When you step in another direction, spend about another 30 seconds there. Think about trying to reach everyone in your audience, and try to make eye contact with several audience members as you move from section to section.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use hand gestures while giving a presentation.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid keeping your arms in a rigid position by your side. Keep your open arms while speaking. Pointing toward the sky can assert an opinion or a fact, while opening your hands can show trustworthiness and inspire audience participation. When coming to the crux of an argument or the summary of your research, point upward with your index finger to assert your authority and appear confident in your conclusion.\\nDon’t cross your arms during a presentation. While this may be a comfortable position, you may be projecting negative cues to your audience. This closed-off position may make you seem inexperienced, uninterested, or nervous.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"A warm, inviting smile will convey to your audience that you are at ease and are comfortable. Your smile will make you appear and sound more pleasant, and you will come off as responsive and composed. Studies have shown that smiling can help reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and your heart rate, all of which will put you at ease while giving your presentation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid fidgeting.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to feel nervous, but avoid projecting that anxiety if you wish to appear confident. Shuffling back and forth, biting your nails, twirling your hair, and other forms of fidgeting can display signs of boredom or nervousness. Take a some slow, deep breaths when you feel the urge to fidget.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact with audience members.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t stare at the floor, at your feet, or at your notes. Look up and make eye contact with your audience members. Eye contact is a great way to not only appear confident, but feel confident as well.\\nWhile giving a presentation, maintain eye contact with an individual for periods of 3 to 5 seconds. Eye contact will demonstrate that you are trustworthy and passionate about the topic, and it will help keep your audience’s attention.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speaking with Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Project your voice.\", \"描述\": \"To appear confident, your voice needs to be heard so your audience can follow your presentation and understand your point. Proper posture will allow you to use the support of your diaphragm, the umbrella-shaped muscle below your stomach, to control the movement of air. When you breathe in, let your stomach expand. This movement is controlled by the diaphragm. Practice using your diaphragm to project your voice.\\nLie down on your back, and keep your abdominals and stomach relaxed. Keep one hand on your abdomen, and think about moving it up and down as you breathe in and out.\\nFind out in advance if you will be using a microphone for your presentation. This can help you plan ahead and adjust the volume of your voice accordingly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Vary the speed, pitch, and volume of your voice.\", \"描述\": \"In everyday conversation, your pitch, speed, and volume varies when you are chatting with a friend or sharing a story. A monotonous tone can be boring and may convey to the audience that you are unsure or unprepared. Add interest by playing with the dynamics of your speech. Your audience will be more likely to pay attention to your presentation.\\nTry to incorporate these variations in speech while giving your presentation, and pretend as though you are having a conversation with a friend or a colleague.\\nPractice these variations by reading a poem, a play, or another piece of literature aloud.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pace yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When people are nervous, they may be more likely to speak quickly and speed through a presentation. Try to maintain a slow and moderate pace while speaking. This will help the audience understand what you are saying and allow you to communicate your ideas clearly and confidently. Speeding up your speech is acceptable to offer variety in your presentation and may be a useful tool when you are making a particular point, but aim to remain regulated, consistent, and articulate during the majority of your presentation.\\nStretch out your vowels to slow your speech. Pretend that the vowels are italicized and focus on speaking each one clearly. Practice this technique to ensure that it sounds natural.\\nBreak your presentation up into sections. Plan to pause for a moment or two when you reach the end of each section. Allow for one second to pause before moving on to the next point.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Presentation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Study your material.\", \"描述\": \"The key to projecting confidence during a presentation is to have a comprehensive knowledge of the topic. When you feel like an expert on a particular subject, you are more likely to project that expertise and knowledge to your listeners. Your audience will be able to tell if you are unprepared or nervous. Be sure to study your subject and your presentation slides thoroughly, and be prepared for any questions the audience may have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rehearse it in front of a mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Position yourself in front of a mirror and practice giving your presentation. Pretend that you are in front of your peers and colleagues, and try to imagine that you are on the stage or in front of a classroom while speaking. This will allow you to practice your movements, your pace, your hand gestures, and it will remind you to smile during the speech. You will become more familiar with the material and the flow of the information. After several practice runs, you will be more comfortable and confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing deep breathing techniques.\", \"描述\": \"Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and hold for ten counts. Exhale slowly through your mouth, tightening your abdominals as you release the breath. Deep breathing can help you focus on your presentation and release any anxiety or tension in your body. Incorporate breathing exercises into your daily routine to help you relax and appear calm, composed, and confident in front of your audience.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,635 | How to Be Confident When Bald | 1. Embracing Your Baldness
1-1. Identify the cause of your baldness.
The first step to making peace with your baldness is to understand the reasons behind your hair loss. Everyone sheds hair each day (some of us more than others), but it is not significant enough to actually be classified as hair loss. The exact cause of hair loss usually relates to one of four factors: genetics (family history), hormonal changes, a medical condition, medication side effect. If you are suffering from significant hair loss, but you don't know the cause, you will definitely want to find out. Ask your doctor to help you figure out the reason, and you'll be better equipped to embrace your baldness.
If you are worried about hair loss, pay attention to your diet. Poor nutritional habits can be one reason that you are thinning on top. Also, pay attention to your emotional health. Stress can be another factor.
1-2. Deflect negative comments.
Sometimes perfect strangers can ask you seemingly random personal questions. If your confidence is taking a beating because people have questioned your hairstyle "choice", try learning an effective way to respond to nosy people. One method is to ignore them completely. Pretend you didn't hear the comment and then you don't have to acknowledge it, even to yourself. You can also confront the person by explaining that you prefer not to explain anything about your personal appearance. Either option will leave you feeling more confident than if you choose to brood on the insult.
1-3. Acknowledge the benefits of baldness.
Not only is being bald beautiful, but their are some really positive results! For example, many people see baldness as an indicator that the man with no hair is socially mature and has increased social status. That's a great perception for people to have of you in the work place. People also tend to associate baldness with physical strength.
Save time. Being bald can drastically reduce the amount of time you spend grooming in the morning. Instead of blow-drying, brushing, and styling, simply moisturize and add sunscreen and you're out the door! The extra sleep you'll gain each morning will surely boost your mood and your confidence.
Save your money. Although you do still need to care for your bald head, it is going to cost significantly less money than caring for a full head of hair. Just ask any woman (or man) who has forked over a healthy amount for highlights that will fade after only two months.
1-4. Find someone you admire.
The world is filled with inspirational, powerful, beautiful people--and many of them have no hair! If you don't know someone personally that you can choose as your personal bald hero, there are plenty of famous people for you to look up to. Do some reading and find someone who you admire, both inside an out. Many of the most powerful people in history have been bald, so you'll have plenty of choices. Are you interested in politics? Look up Cory Booker. If you're a sports fan, just look at Michael Jordan!
1-5. Appreciate your health.
If your baldness is the result of a medical condition, it can be especially hard to deal with. You're already going through plenty of emotional and physical changes, so it can be hard to accept one more big change when losing your hair. Although it can be really difficult, you can try to have shift your perception. Instead of thinking, "This chemo made me lose my hair!", try thinking, "This chemo is obviously having an impact. I can see that by looking in the mirror!" Positive thinking (and feeling more confident) can actually improve the way you feel--both mentally and physically.
2. Gaining General Confidence
2-1. Compliment yourself.
Focus on your positive traits. Did you do well on a big project at work? Congratulate yourself! Can you see results since you started going to the gym? Mental high-five! Each day, try to think of at least one thing that you like about yourself. This will become a habit, and will have a great impact on your self-esteem. Soon, you'll even feel more confident about being bald!
2-2. Strengthen your mind.
By stretching your mental muscles, you can find new reasons to be proud of yourself. Try learning a new skill or language, playing word games, and meditation. All of these activities are shown to increase mental dexterity. The smarter you feel, the better you'll feel about yourself in general. Intellect is directly related to your confidence level. As you strengthen your mind, you will also strengthen your confidence level. You will start to realize that your baldness does not define you--you have lots of great qualities.
2-3. Avoid negativity.
Try to avoid negative thoughts. But don't get mad at yourself if you have one! Instead, accept it, acknowledge it, and move on. Eventually, you can train yourself to have fewer and fewer negative thoughts. It will also help if you strive to place yourself in positive situations. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who think you are great!
Try doing positive affirmations in the mirror. Look at yourself--bald head included--and tell yourself that you look great and feel great.
2-4. Act confident.
Hold your head up high and walk tall. When you meet a new person, look them in the eye, smile, and offer a firm hand shake. These are all ways that you can appear confident. And evidence tells us that when you act confident, you will also begin to feel confident.
2-5. Present your best self.
Maybe you don't quite feel confidence in every part of yourself. It will come with practice, but for now, enhance the parts of yourself that make you feel strong and secure. Pick out your favorite outfit and paste on your best smile. If you are confident in parts of your image, that feeling will spread until you eventually feel an overall increased level of confidence. Soon you'll be showing off your baldness with the rest of your positive traits.
3. Enhancing Your Look
3-1. Invest in a quality wig or toupee.
Losing your hair can be an emotional as well as physical loss, particularly if going bald is related to an illness. You can feel better and increase your confidence if you find yourself a great wig. Wigs come in all imaginable styles and colors. Before selecting your wig, spend some time flipping through fashion magazines to find a style you like. A quality wig is important because it will look more natural and also require less care. Choose a style that you are comfortable maintaining.
To find the right wig or toupee for you, ask for advice. Before you start shopping, ask a friend if they have any advice on where to go. Another great resource is your hairstylist--ask her opinion!
Consider choosing two wigs--one for everyday use and one that is just for fun. Put on the fun wig (which could be a funky color, for example) when you need to feel happy and need an instant mood boost.
3-2. Find some new accessories.
If you don't want to wear a wig, there are still many ways that you can temporarily cover your baldness. As you gain confidence in your baldness, you'll probably need fewer of these options. Even if you choose a wig for work, you will want something more comfortable to wear at other times. There are many great options, such as hats, scarves, and turbans. The most important things are to make sure you find one with a proper fit (measure your head) and one that is comfortable. After you've checked those boxes, feel free to jazz it up and have fun! Treat hat and scarf shopping the same way you would treat shopping for any other clothing item--as a way to show off your style and reflect your personality. Choose some items that make you look great--that's an excellent confidence booster.
3-3. Care for your skin.
Maybe you want to cover your baldness, maybe you don't. Either way, taking excellent care of your skin is going to make you look and feel better. Most people don't realized that when your head is shaved, you still need to use shampoo and conditioner. There are lots of nearly invisible hairs on your head that still need to be cleaned. You will also want to make sure to use plenty of sunscreen, everyday. Keeping it moisturized is also really important. Treat the skin on top of your head as respectfully as you treat the rest of your skin. You'll look better, be healthier, and your attitude will reflect that.
3-4. Consider replacement therapy.
Hair replacement therapies such as grafts and transplants are a more permanent solution if you really don't want to remain bald. However, they are not for everyone. The most common candidates for replacement therapy are men or women who are genetically disposed to pattern-baldness and people who have lost some of their hair as the result of an injury (such as burns). If you think this might be for you, you will want to consult a doctor to get more information and to better understand the procedure.
Do your research. You want to find a dermatological surgeon with an excellent reputation. Make sure to ask questions about the procedure itself, recovery time, and potential side effects.
Use other methods to feel more confident. Remember--bald is beautiful.
3-5. Use make-up.
There are many products you can use if you are dealing with some smaller patches of baldness. One product is a firm powder which you can put on your head to reduce the appearance of baldness. It also coats your hair to make it appear fuller.
3-6. Get rid of thinning hair.
Many men and women suffer from thinning hair, for a variety of reasons. The common reaction is to hang on as tightly as possible to what little hair you have left. However, you will feel more confident if you take matters into your own hands and just get rid of thinning hair. Going bald is usually more attractive than other methods. In other words, skip the comb over.
Tips
Explore the benefits of baldness.
Use your new found confidence to accept your baldness gracefully.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Embracing Your Baldness\\n1-1. Identify the cause of your baldness.\\nThe first step to making peace with your baldness is to understand the reasons behind your hair loss. Everyone sheds hair each day (some of us more than others), but it is not significant enough to actually be classified as hair loss. The exact cause of hair loss usually relates to one of four factors: genetics (family history), hormonal changes, a medical condition, medication side effect. If you are suffering from significant hair loss, but you don't know the cause, you will definitely want to find out. Ask your doctor to help you figure out the reason, and you'll be better equipped to embrace your baldness. \\nIf you are worried about hair loss, pay attention to your diet. Poor nutritional habits can be one reason that you are thinning on top. Also, pay attention to your emotional health. Stress can be another factor.\\n1-2. Deflect negative comments.\\nSometimes perfect strangers can ask you seemingly random personal questions. If your confidence is taking a beating because people have questioned your hairstyle \\\"choice\\\", try learning an effective way to respond to nosy people. One method is to ignore them completely. Pretend you didn't hear the comment and then you don't have to acknowledge it, even to yourself. You can also confront the person by explaining that you prefer not to explain anything about your personal appearance. Either option will leave you feeling more confident than if you choose to brood on the insult.\\n1-3. Acknowledge the benefits of baldness.\\nNot only is being bald beautiful, but their are some really positive results! For example, many people see baldness as an indicator that the man with no hair is socially mature and has increased social status. That's a great perception for people to have of you in the work place. People also tend to associate baldness with physical strength.\\nSave time. Being bald can drastically reduce the amount of time you spend grooming in the morning. Instead of blow-drying, brushing, and styling, simply moisturize and add sunscreen and you're out the door! The extra sleep you'll gain each morning will surely boost your mood and your confidence.\\nSave your money. Although you do still need to care for your bald head, it is going to cost significantly less money than caring for a full head of hair. Just ask any woman (or man) who has forked over a healthy amount for highlights that will fade after only two months.\\n1-4. Find someone you admire.\\nThe world is filled with inspirational, powerful, beautiful people--and many of them have no hair! If you don't know someone personally that you can choose as your personal bald hero, there are plenty of famous people for you to look up to. Do some reading and find someone who you admire, both inside an out. Many of the most powerful people in history have been bald, so you'll have plenty of choices. Are you interested in politics? Look up Cory Booker. If you're a sports fan, just look at Michael Jordan!\\n1-5. Appreciate your health.\\nIf your baldness is the result of a medical condition, it can be especially hard to deal with. You're already going through plenty of emotional and physical changes, so it can be hard to accept one more big change when losing your hair. Although it can be really difficult, you can try to have shift your perception. Instead of thinking, \\\"This chemo made me lose my hair!\\\", try thinking, \\\"This chemo is obviously having an impact. I can see that by looking in the mirror!\\\" Positive thinking (and feeling more confident) can actually improve the way you feel--both mentally and physically.\\n2. Gaining General Confidence\\n2-1. Compliment yourself.\\nFocus on your positive traits. Did you do well on a big project at work? Congratulate yourself! Can you see results since you started going to the gym? Mental high-five! Each day, try to think of at least one thing that you like about yourself. This will become a habit, and will have a great impact on your self-esteem. Soon, you'll even feel more confident about being bald!\\n2-2. Strengthen your mind.\\nBy stretching your mental muscles, you can find new reasons to be proud of yourself. Try learning a new skill or language, playing word games, and meditation. All of these activities are shown to increase mental dexterity. The smarter you feel, the better you'll feel about yourself in general. Intellect is directly related to your confidence level. As you strengthen your mind, you will also strengthen your confidence level. You will start to realize that your baldness does not define you--you have lots of great qualities.\\n2-3. Avoid negativity.\\nTry to avoid negative thoughts. But don't get mad at yourself if you have one! Instead, accept it, acknowledge it, and move on. Eventually, you can train yourself to have fewer and fewer negative thoughts. It will also help if you strive to place yourself in positive situations. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who think you are great!\\nTry doing positive affirmations in the mirror. Look at yourself--bald head included--and tell yourself that you look great and feel great.\\n2-4. Act confident.\\nHold your head up high and walk tall. When you meet a new person, look them in the eye, smile, and offer a firm hand shake. These are all ways that you can appear confident. And evidence tells us that when you act confident, you will also begin to feel confident.\\n2-5. Present your best self.\\nMaybe you don't quite feel confidence in every part of yourself. It will come with practice, but for now, enhance the parts of yourself that make you feel strong and secure. Pick out your favorite outfit and paste on your best smile. If you are confident in parts of your image, that feeling will spread until you eventually feel an overall increased level of confidence. Soon you'll be showing off your baldness with the rest of your positive traits.\\n3. Enhancing Your Look\\n3-1. Invest in a quality wig or toupee.\\nLosing your hair can be an emotional as well as physical loss, particularly if going bald is related to an illness. You can feel better and increase your confidence if you find yourself a great wig. Wigs come in all imaginable styles and colors. Before selecting your wig, spend some time flipping through fashion magazines to find a style you like. A quality wig is important because it will look more natural and also require less care. Choose a style that you are comfortable maintaining.\\nTo find the right wig or toupee for you, ask for advice. Before you start shopping, ask a friend if they have any advice on where to go. Another great resource is your hairstylist--ask her opinion!\\nConsider choosing two wigs--one for everyday use and one that is just for fun. Put on the fun wig (which could be a funky color, for example) when you need to feel happy and need an instant mood boost.\\n3-2. Find some new accessories.\\nIf you don't want to wear a wig, there are still many ways that you can temporarily cover your baldness. As you gain confidence in your baldness, you'll probably need fewer of these options. Even if you choose a wig for work, you will want something more comfortable to wear at other times. There are many great options, such as hats, scarves, and turbans. The most important things are to make sure you find one with a proper fit (measure your head) and one that is comfortable. After you've checked those boxes, feel free to jazz it up and have fun! Treat hat and scarf shopping the same way you would treat shopping for any other clothing item--as a way to show off your style and reflect your personality. Choose some items that make you look great--that's an excellent confidence booster.\\n3-3. Care for your skin.\\nMaybe you want to cover your baldness, maybe you don't. Either way, taking excellent care of your skin is going to make you look and feel better. Most people don't realized that when your head is shaved, you still need to use shampoo and conditioner. There are lots of nearly invisible hairs on your head that still need to be cleaned. You will also want to make sure to use plenty of sunscreen, everyday. Keeping it moisturized is also really important. Treat the skin on top of your head as respectfully as you treat the rest of your skin. You'll look better, be healthier, and your attitude will reflect that.\\n3-4. Consider replacement therapy.\\nHair replacement therapies such as grafts and transplants are a more permanent solution if you really don't want to remain bald. However, they are not for everyone. The most common candidates for replacement therapy are men or women who are genetically disposed to pattern-baldness and people who have lost some of their hair as the result of an injury (such as burns). If you think this might be for you, you will want to consult a doctor to get more information and to better understand the procedure.\\nDo your research. You want to find a dermatological surgeon with an excellent reputation. Make sure to ask questions about the procedure itself, recovery time, and potential side effects.\\nUse other methods to feel more confident. Remember--bald is beautiful.\\n3-5. Use make-up.\\nThere are many products you can use if you are dealing with some smaller patches of baldness. One product is a firm powder which you can put on your head to reduce the appearance of baldness. It also coats your hair to make it appear fuller.\\n3-6. Get rid of thinning hair.\\nMany men and women suffer from thinning hair, for a variety of reasons. The common reaction is to hang on as tightly as possible to what little hair you have left. However, you will feel more confident if you take matters into your own hands and just get rid of thinning hair. Going bald is usually more attractive than other methods. In other words, skip the comb over.\\nTips\\nExplore the benefits of baldness.\\nUse your new found confidence to accept your baldness gracefully.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Hair loss can cause people to be distraught and embarrassed. Men and women both can become very emotional when faced with going bald or being bald. However, it is important to remember that this is common. There are many reasons that baldness occurs, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to increase your confidence as you learn how to adjust comfortably to being bald.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embracing Your Baldness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify the cause of your baldness.\", \"描述\": \"The first step to making peace with your baldness is to understand the reasons behind your hair loss. Everyone sheds hair each day (some of us more than others), but it is not significant enough to actually be classified as hair loss. The exact cause of hair loss usually relates to one of four factors: genetics (family history), hormonal changes, a medical condition, medication side effect. If you are suffering from significant hair loss, but you don't know the cause, you will definitely want to find out. Ask your doctor to help you figure out the reason, and you'll be better equipped to embrace your baldness. \\nIf you are worried about hair loss, pay attention to your diet. Poor nutritional habits can be one reason that you are thinning on top. Also, pay attention to your emotional health. Stress can be another factor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deflect negative comments.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes perfect strangers can ask you seemingly random personal questions. If your confidence is taking a beating because people have questioned your hairstyle \\\"choice\\\", try learning an effective way to respond to nosy people. One method is to ignore them completely. Pretend you didn't hear the comment and then you don't have to acknowledge it, even to yourself. You can also confront the person by explaining that you prefer not to explain anything about your personal appearance. Either option will leave you feeling more confident than if you choose to brood on the insult.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the benefits of baldness.\", \"描述\": \"Not only is being bald beautiful, but their are some really positive results! For example, many people see baldness as an indicator that the man with no hair is socially mature and has increased social status. That's a great perception for people to have of you in the work place. People also tend to associate baldness with physical strength.\\nSave time. Being bald can drastically reduce the amount of time you spend grooming in the morning. Instead of blow-drying, brushing, and styling, simply moisturize and add sunscreen and you're out the door! The extra sleep you'll gain each morning will surely boost your mood and your confidence.\\nSave your money. Although you do still need to care for your bald head, it is going to cost significantly less money than caring for a full head of hair. Just ask any woman (or man) who has forked over a healthy amount for highlights that will fade after only two months.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find someone you admire.\", \"描述\": \"The world is filled with inspirational, powerful, beautiful people--and many of them have no hair! If you don't know someone personally that you can choose as your personal bald hero, there are plenty of famous people for you to look up to. Do some reading and find someone who you admire, both inside an out. Many of the most powerful people in history have been bald, so you'll have plenty of choices. Are you interested in politics? Look up Cory Booker. If you're a sports fan, just look at Michael Jordan!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your health.\", \"描述\": \"If your baldness is the result of a medical condition, it can be especially hard to deal with. You're already going through plenty of emotional and physical changes, so it can be hard to accept one more big change when losing your hair. Although it can be really difficult, you can try to have shift your perception. Instead of thinking, \\\"This chemo made me lose my hair!\\\", try thinking, \\\"This chemo is obviously having an impact. I can see that by looking in the mirror!\\\" Positive thinking (and feeling more confident) can actually improve the way you feel--both mentally and physically.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gaining General Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on your positive traits. Did you do well on a big project at work? Congratulate yourself! Can you see results since you started going to the gym? Mental high-five! Each day, try to think of at least one thing that you like about yourself. This will become a habit, and will have a great impact on your self-esteem. Soon, you'll even feel more confident about being bald!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your mind.\", \"描述\": \"By stretching your mental muscles, you can find new reasons to be proud of yourself. Try learning a new skill or language, playing word games, and meditation. All of these activities are shown to increase mental dexterity. The smarter you feel, the better you'll feel about yourself in general. Intellect is directly related to your confidence level. As you strengthen your mind, you will also strengthen your confidence level. You will start to realize that your baldness does not define you--you have lots of great qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid negativity.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid negative thoughts. But don't get mad at yourself if you have one! Instead, accept it, acknowledge it, and move on. Eventually, you can train yourself to have fewer and fewer negative thoughts. It will also help if you strive to place yourself in positive situations. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who think you are great!\\nTry doing positive affirmations in the mirror. Look at yourself--bald head included--and tell yourself that you look great and feel great.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Act confident.\", \"描述\": \"Hold your head up high and walk tall. When you meet a new person, look them in the eye, smile, and offer a firm hand shake. These are all ways that you can appear confident. And evidence tells us that when you act confident, you will also begin to feel confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Present your best self.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you don't quite feel confidence in every part of yourself. It will come with practice, but for now, enhance the parts of yourself that make you feel strong and secure. Pick out your favorite outfit and paste on your best smile. If you are confident in parts of your image, that feeling will spread until you eventually feel an overall increased level of confidence. Soon you'll be showing off your baldness with the rest of your positive traits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enhancing Your Look\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invest in a quality wig or toupee.\", \"描述\": \"Losing your hair can be an emotional as well as physical loss, particularly if going bald is related to an illness. You can feel better and increase your confidence if you find yourself a great wig. Wigs come in all imaginable styles and colors. Before selecting your wig, spend some time flipping through fashion magazines to find a style you like. A quality wig is important because it will look more natural and also require less care. Choose a style that you are comfortable maintaining.\\nTo find the right wig or toupee for you, ask for advice. Before you start shopping, ask a friend if they have any advice on where to go. Another great resource is your hairstylist--ask her opinion!\\nConsider choosing two wigs--one for everyday use and one that is just for fun. Put on the fun wig (which could be a funky color, for example) when you need to feel happy and need an instant mood boost.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find some new accessories.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't want to wear a wig, there are still many ways that you can temporarily cover your baldness. As you gain confidence in your baldness, you'll probably need fewer of these options. Even if you choose a wig for work, you will want something more comfortable to wear at other times. There are many great options, such as hats, scarves, and turbans. The most important things are to make sure you find one with a proper fit (measure your head) and one that is comfortable. After you've checked those boxes, feel free to jazz it up and have fun! Treat hat and scarf shopping the same way you would treat shopping for any other clothing item--as a way to show off your style and reflect your personality. Choose some items that make you look great--that's an excellent confidence booster.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Care for your skin.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you want to cover your baldness, maybe you don't. Either way, taking excellent care of your skin is going to make you look and feel better. Most people don't realized that when your head is shaved, you still need to use shampoo and conditioner. There are lots of nearly invisible hairs on your head that still need to be cleaned. You will also want to make sure to use plenty of sunscreen, everyday. Keeping it moisturized is also really important. Treat the skin on top of your head as respectfully as you treat the rest of your skin. You'll look better, be healthier, and your attitude will reflect that.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider replacement therapy.\", \"描述\": \"Hair replacement therapies such as grafts and transplants are a more permanent solution if you really don't want to remain bald. However, they are not for everyone. The most common candidates for replacement therapy are men or women who are genetically disposed to pattern-baldness and people who have lost some of their hair as the result of an injury (such as burns). If you think this might be for you, you will want to consult a doctor to get more information and to better understand the procedure.\\nDo your research. You want to find a dermatological surgeon with an excellent reputation. Make sure to ask questions about the procedure itself, recovery time, and potential side effects.\\nUse other methods to feel more confident. Remember--bald is beautiful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use make-up.\", \"描述\": \"There are many products you can use if you are dealing with some smaller patches of baldness. One product is a firm powder which you can put on your head to reduce the appearance of baldness. It also coats your hair to make it appear fuller.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get rid of thinning hair.\", \"描述\": \"Many men and women suffer from thinning hair, for a variety of reasons. The common reaction is to hang on as tightly as possible to what little hair you have left. However, you will feel more confident if you take matters into your own hands and just get rid of thinning hair. Going bald is usually more attractive than other methods. In other words, skip the comb over.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Explore the benefits of baldness.\\n\", \"Use your new found confidence to accept your baldness gracefully.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,636 | How to Be Confident When Reading Out Loud in Class | 1. Building Confidence Through Preparation
1-1. Know you’ll be called upon to read aloud at some point.
Written language is the best system humans have ever devised for transmitting knowledge. Naturally, your teachers will want you to show what you’ve learned. In English and Social Studies classes, you do most of your learning by reading—so these are the most common classes to read aloud in.
However, you can be asked to read something for the class in any subject, even gym. Try to accept this, and prepare for it instead of dreading it.
1-2. Do your reading before class.
The best way to look prepared is to be prepared. If you’ve read a passage even once, you’ll have a much better grasp of it than someone who’s never looked at it before. Better yet, read the passage through twice, reading quietly to yourself the second time, if you think you might be called on soon.
Take good notes. You’ll retain information even better once you’ve written it down.
Look up unfamiliar words. If you’re reading out loud and get stuck on a big word you didn’t know before, it can break your flow and mess up your confidence.
Similarly, use a pronunciation guide or look up the pronunciation online if you’re unsure how to say a word.
1-3. Practice in the mirror.
If you have extra time one day, bring your textbook to the nearest reflective surface and read out loud to yourself. You’ll be able to check your own posture, and even practice looking up to make eye contact with yourself.
1-4. Practice with a friend.
If you have a study buddy, take turns reading important passages to one another. Take breaks to offer constructive feedback. Does your friend not know what to look for? Check in with these questions:
Was your voice clear enough? Is it the right volume? Did it sound timid or confident?
Does your body language help you seem more prepared? Are you slouching or standing tall?
Were there any glaring mistakes (like skipped lines or extremely mispronounced words)?
1-5. Don’t expect perfection.
Reading out loud can be stressful, and you probably want to do a good job. Still, no one expects you to sound like you’re part of the Royal Shakespeare Company. Don’t sweat it if you don’t sound flawless. Just do your best.
2. Reading with Confidence
2-1. Pay attention.
In classes that require reading aloud, be alert. If you get called on several times and don’t notice, you’ll start the reading off flustered, which is not what you want. Stay sharp and be ready.
2-2. Smile.
You will seem prepared and confident if you react promptly. Smiling will hide a look of surprise, if you’re worried about that. Not only that, but smiling will make you feel just a bit more confident—the movement fools your body into thinking it's happy. Also, you probably want to get this over with as fast as possible, so get started fast.
2-3. Take a deep breath.
Don’t sigh or make a gasping noise. Just make sure you’ve got a nice flow of air coming into your lungs. Stressed-out people tend to breathe more shallowly, but if you do that, your voice will sound choked. If you’re getting scared, try to breathe in for 3 to 5 seconds, then exhale smoothly.
2-4. Start reading.
Check that you’re at the right place in the book, and go for it. As you keep reading, you will probably feel yourself growing in confidence, which is great! Focus on the words, and check in with yourself every so often.
Monitor the volume of your voice. Make sure you can hear yourself speaking, but don’t scream.
Check your speed. Do you tend to talk really fast when you’re nervous, or slow to a drawl? Try to even it out a bit if so.
You can throw in some emotion if you feel ready to do so (and there’s emotion happening in the text).
2-5. Maintain eye contact if possible.
You’ll have to look down at the book, of course, but if you feel up for it, looking up at your classmates can make you seem more confident. If you can't handle eye contact, go ahead and focus on the text.
Read to a friend in class who knows you're nervous. They can nod, smile, and give you other clues to assure you that you're doing a good job.
2-6. Sit down.
Once you’re all done, you can sit back down. Try not to flop into your chair or heave a sigh of relief, if you can. Just be proud of yourself for accomplishing something you found scary before! Reading out loud is good practice for all kinds of public speaking, and you just did an amazing job with it.
3. Dealing with Nerves and Mistakes
3-1. Loosen up (literally).
If you are scared, your body reacts by tensing. Therefore, it makes sense that manually relaxing your tense muscles will make you feel a little less scared. You can roll your shoulders back quickly, but if that doesn't help, adjust your posture using some of these tips.
Let your arms hang loose at your sides when you stand. If your elbows are stiff for no reason, let them drop naturally so they hang at your sides.
Relax your neck. People who are scared or panicking pull their heads back, so letting your head float to a more natural position will help.
Lift your chin. This will make your voice sound more resonant and you seem more confident.
3-2. Think positively.
If you feel nervous or fluttery and relaxing your body isn’t helping, try to comfort yourself with encouraging thoughts. Positive self-talk can power you through hard times, so try to concentrate on what you will find most comforting. If you have a mantra that you repeat when you’re stressed, think of that. Otherwise, try these thoughts.
Picture your classmates as friends from preschool. This will make you feel safer and friendly.
Remember that no one knows how nervous you are but you.
Remind yourself that if you do a decent job, you may not be called again for some time because the teacher sees how well you do and moves on to other students who need more practice.
3-3. Work through mistakes.
No one is perfect, and sometimes embarrassing things happen, even if you've prepared to read. Remember that no one is flawless, and do your best to fix the problem. In many cases, no one will even notice that you did something wrong.
If you mess up a word, or make another small error, it's okay to go back and correct yourself.
If you've made another, more time-consuming mistake (like repeating a whole line), push forward as soon as you notice the problem.
If your body betrays you, and you sneeze or feel your voice crack, try not to make a big deal out of it. Quickly excuse yourself (if you need to) and get back to the material.
3-4. Laugh it off.
In the worst case scenario, others might laugh at your mistakes. If you hear laughter and you feel comfortable enough to laugh at yourself, go for it. If not, smile your most patient smile and wait until everyone's done. Keep your face as blank as possible, and your poise will be more memorable than whatever small mistake you made.
3-5. Don't mention it.
It's a blessing that your reading in class will probably not be the most interesting part of anyone's day, including your own. If you don't want to talk about your performance, that's okay--you don't have to bring it up as a topic of conversation. Just do your best to move on with your day.
If anyone brings it up or tries to tease you, and you don't want to talk about it, switch the conversation to something easier. "I thought that reading would never be over, just like that video series we're watching in Spanish! How many more episodes could there be?"
Tips
Always be prepared.
If you're called first, don't worry about it. The sooner you start, the sooner it's over with.
Imagine that you are in a different place that you feel relaxed to be in. Then try to block out your surroundings, and focus on what you are reading.
Warnings
If people make fun of you, ignore them.
Don’t picture your classmates in their underwear to make them feel less intimidating! It’ll either stress you out more or make you laugh.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Confidence Through Preparation\\n1-1. Know you’ll be called upon to read aloud at some point.\\nWritten language is the best system humans have ever devised for transmitting knowledge. Naturally, your teachers will want you to show what you’ve learned. In English and Social Studies classes, you do most of your learning by reading—so these are the most common classes to read aloud in.\\nHowever, you can be asked to read something for the class in any subject, even gym. Try to accept this, and prepare for it instead of dreading it.\\n1-2. Do your reading before class.\\nThe best way to look prepared is to be prepared. If you’ve read a passage even once, you’ll have a much better grasp of it than someone who’s never looked at it before. Better yet, read the passage through twice, reading quietly to yourself the second time, if you think you might be called on soon.\\n\\nTake good notes. You’ll retain information even better once you’ve written it down.\\nLook up unfamiliar words. If you’re reading out loud and get stuck on a big word you didn’t know before, it can break your flow and mess up your confidence.\\nSimilarly, use a pronunciation guide or look up the pronunciation online if you’re unsure how to say a word.\\n1-3. Practice in the mirror.\\nIf you have extra time one day, bring your textbook to the nearest reflective surface and read out loud to yourself. You’ll be able to check your own posture, and even practice looking up to make eye contact with yourself.\\n1-4. Practice with a friend.\\nIf you have a study buddy, take turns reading important passages to one another. Take breaks to offer constructive feedback. Does your friend not know what to look for? Check in with these questions:\\nWas your voice clear enough? Is it the right volume? Did it sound timid or confident?\\nDoes your body language help you seem more prepared? Are you slouching or standing tall?\\nWere there any glaring mistakes (like skipped lines or extremely mispronounced words)?\\n1-5. Don’t expect perfection.\\nReading out loud can be stressful, and you probably want to do a good job. Still, no one expects you to sound like you’re part of the Royal Shakespeare Company. Don’t sweat it if you don’t sound flawless. Just do your best.\\n2. Reading with Confidence\\n2-1. Pay attention.\\nIn classes that require reading aloud, be alert. If you get called on several times and don’t notice, you’ll start the reading off flustered, which is not what you want. Stay sharp and be ready.\\n2-2. Smile.\\nYou will seem prepared and confident if you react promptly. Smiling will hide a look of surprise, if you’re worried about that. Not only that, but smiling will make you feel just a bit more confident—the movement fools your body into thinking it's happy. Also, you probably want to get this over with as fast as possible, so get started fast.\\n2-3. Take a deep breath.\\nDon’t sigh or make a gasping noise. Just make sure you’ve got a nice flow of air coming into your lungs. Stressed-out people tend to breathe more shallowly, but if you do that, your voice will sound choked. If you’re getting scared, try to breathe in for 3 to 5 seconds, then exhale smoothly.\\n2-4. Start reading.\\nCheck that you’re at the right place in the book, and go for it. As you keep reading, you will probably feel yourself growing in confidence, which is great! Focus on the words, and check in with yourself every so often.\\nMonitor the volume of your voice. Make sure you can hear yourself speaking, but don’t scream.\\nCheck your speed. Do you tend to talk really fast when you’re nervous, or slow to a drawl? Try to even it out a bit if so.\\nYou can throw in some emotion if you feel ready to do so (and there’s emotion happening in the text).\\n2-5. Maintain eye contact if possible.\\nYou’ll have to look down at the book, of course, but if you feel up for it, looking up at your classmates can make you seem more confident. If you can't handle eye contact, go ahead and focus on the text.\\nRead to a friend in class who knows you're nervous. They can nod, smile, and give you other clues to assure you that you're doing a good job.\\n2-6. Sit down.\\nOnce you’re all done, you can sit back down. Try not to flop into your chair or heave a sigh of relief, if you can. Just be proud of yourself for accomplishing something you found scary before! Reading out loud is good practice for all kinds of public speaking, and you just did an amazing job with it.\\n3. Dealing with Nerves and Mistakes\\n3-1. Loosen up (literally).\\nIf you are scared, your body reacts by tensing. Therefore, it makes sense that manually relaxing your tense muscles will make you feel a little less scared. You can roll your shoulders back quickly, but if that doesn't help, adjust your posture using some of these tips.\\nLet your arms hang loose at your sides when you stand. If your elbows are stiff for no reason, let them drop naturally so they hang at your sides.\\nRelax your neck. People who are scared or panicking pull their heads back, so letting your head float to a more natural position will help.\\nLift your chin. This will make your voice sound more resonant and you seem more confident.\\n3-2. Think positively.\\nIf you feel nervous or fluttery and relaxing your body isn’t helping, try to comfort yourself with encouraging thoughts. Positive self-talk can power you through hard times, so try to concentrate on what you will find most comforting. If you have a mantra that you repeat when you’re stressed, think of that. Otherwise, try these thoughts.\\nPicture your classmates as friends from preschool. This will make you feel safer and friendly.\\nRemember that no one knows how nervous you are but you.\\nRemind yourself that if you do a decent job, you may not be called again for some time because the teacher sees how well you do and moves on to other students who need more practice.\\n3-3. Work through mistakes.\\nNo one is perfect, and sometimes embarrassing things happen, even if you've prepared to read. Remember that no one is flawless, and do your best to fix the problem. In many cases, no one will even notice that you did something wrong.\\nIf you mess up a word, or make another small error, it's okay to go back and correct yourself.\\nIf you've made another, more time-consuming mistake (like repeating a whole line), push forward as soon as you notice the problem.\\nIf your body betrays you, and you sneeze or feel your voice crack, try not to make a big deal out of it. Quickly excuse yourself (if you need to) and get back to the material.\\n3-4. Laugh it off.\\nIn the worst case scenario, others might laugh at your mistakes. If you hear laughter and you feel comfortable enough to laugh at yourself, go for it. If not, smile your most patient smile and wait until everyone's done. Keep your face as blank as possible, and your poise will be more memorable than whatever small mistake you made.\\n3-5. Don't mention it.\\nIt's a blessing that your reading in class will probably not be the most interesting part of anyone's day, including your own. If you don't want to talk about your performance, that's okay--you don't have to bring it up as a topic of conversation. Just do your best to move on with your day.\\nIf anyone brings it up or tries to tease you, and you don't want to talk about it, switch the conversation to something easier. \\\"I thought that reading would never be over, just like that video series we're watching in Spanish! How many more episodes could there be?\\\"\\nTips\\nAlways be prepared.\\nIf you're called first, don't worry about it. The sooner you start, the sooner it's over with.\\nImagine that you are in a different place that you feel relaxed to be in. Then try to block out your surroundings, and focus on what you are reading.\\nWarnings\\nIf people make fun of you, ignore them.\\nDon’t picture your classmates in their underwear to make them feel less intimidating! It’ll either stress you out more or make you laugh.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Every so often, your teacher might like to call on a random student to read out loud in class. This is supposed to ensure that you and your classmates are paying attention and engaging with the material. However, getting up to read can be nerve-wracking, and getting nervous about being put on the spot can actually make you distracted in class (and thus backfire). If you make sure you’re comfortable with the reading beforehand, practice every now and then, and relax your body and brain, you’ll sound cool and confident when you’re inevitably called upon.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Confidence Through Preparation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know you’ll be called upon to read aloud at some point.\", \"描述\": \"Written language is the best system humans have ever devised for transmitting knowledge. Naturally, your teachers will want you to show what you’ve learned. In English and Social Studies classes, you do most of your learning by reading—so these are the most common classes to read aloud in.\\nHowever, you can be asked to read something for the class in any subject, even gym. Try to accept this, and prepare for it instead of dreading it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your reading before class.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to look prepared is to be prepared. If you’ve read a passage even once, you’ll have a much better grasp of it than someone who’s never looked at it before. Better yet, read the passage through twice, reading quietly to yourself the second time, if you think you might be called on soon.\\n\\nTake good notes. You’ll retain information even better once you’ve written it down.\\nLook up unfamiliar words. If you’re reading out loud and get stuck on a big word you didn’t know before, it can break your flow and mess up your confidence.\\nSimilarly, use a pronunciation guide or look up the pronunciation online if you’re unsure how to say a word.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"If you have extra time one day, bring your textbook to the nearest reflective surface and read out loud to yourself. You’ll be able to check your own posture, and even practice looking up to make eye contact with yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice with a friend.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a study buddy, take turns reading important passages to one another. Take breaks to offer constructive feedback. Does your friend not know what to look for? Check in with these questions:\\nWas your voice clear enough? Is it the right volume? Did it sound timid or confident?\\nDoes your body language help you seem more prepared? Are you slouching or standing tall?\\nWere there any glaring mistakes (like skipped lines or extremely mispronounced words)?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t expect perfection.\", \"描述\": \"Reading out loud can be stressful, and you probably want to do a good job. Still, no one expects you to sound like you’re part of the Royal Shakespeare Company. Don’t sweat it if you don’t sound flawless. Just do your best.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reading with Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention.\", \"描述\": \"In classes that require reading aloud, be alert. If you get called on several times and don’t notice, you’ll start the reading off flustered, which is not what you want. Stay sharp and be ready.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"You will seem prepared and confident if you react promptly. Smiling will hide a look of surprise, if you’re worried about that. Not only that, but smiling will make you feel just a bit more confident—the movement fools your body into thinking it's happy. Also, you probably want to get this over with as fast as possible, so get started fast.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t sigh or make a gasping noise. Just make sure you’ve got a nice flow of air coming into your lungs. Stressed-out people tend to breathe more shallowly, but if you do that, your voice will sound choked. If you’re getting scared, try to breathe in for 3 to 5 seconds, then exhale smoothly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start reading.\", \"描述\": \"Check that you’re at the right place in the book, and go for it. As you keep reading, you will probably feel yourself growing in confidence, which is great! Focus on the words, and check in with yourself every so often.\\nMonitor the volume of your voice. Make sure you can hear yourself speaking, but don’t scream.\\nCheck your speed. Do you tend to talk really fast when you’re nervous, or slow to a drawl? Try to even it out a bit if so.\\nYou can throw in some emotion if you feel ready to do so (and there’s emotion happening in the text).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain eye contact if possible.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll have to look down at the book, of course, but if you feel up for it, looking up at your classmates can make you seem more confident. If you can't handle eye contact, go ahead and focus on the text.\\nRead to a friend in class who knows you're nervous. They can nod, smile, and give you other clues to assure you that you're doing a good job.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Sit down.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’re all done, you can sit back down. Try not to flop into your chair or heave a sigh of relief, if you can. Just be proud of yourself for accomplishing something you found scary before! Reading out loud is good practice for all kinds of public speaking, and you just did an amazing job with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Nerves and Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Loosen up (literally).\", \"描述\": \"If you are scared, your body reacts by tensing. Therefore, it makes sense that manually relaxing your tense muscles will make you feel a little less scared. You can roll your shoulders back quickly, but if that doesn't help, adjust your posture using some of these tips.\\nLet your arms hang loose at your sides when you stand. If your elbows are stiff for no reason, let them drop naturally so they hang at your sides.\\nRelax your neck. People who are scared or panicking pull their heads back, so letting your head float to a more natural position will help.\\nLift your chin. This will make your voice sound more resonant and you seem more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think positively.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel nervous or fluttery and relaxing your body isn’t helping, try to comfort yourself with encouraging thoughts. Positive self-talk can power you through hard times, so try to concentrate on what you will find most comforting. If you have a mantra that you repeat when you’re stressed, think of that. Otherwise, try these thoughts.\\nPicture your classmates as friends from preschool. This will make you feel safer and friendly.\\nRemember that no one knows how nervous you are but you.\\nRemind yourself that if you do a decent job, you may not be called again for some time because the teacher sees how well you do and moves on to other students who need more practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work through mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"No one is perfect, and sometimes embarrassing things happen, even if you've prepared to read. Remember that no one is flawless, and do your best to fix the problem. In many cases, no one will even notice that you did something wrong.\\nIf you mess up a word, or make another small error, it's okay to go back and correct yourself.\\nIf you've made another, more time-consuming mistake (like repeating a whole line), push forward as soon as you notice the problem.\\nIf your body betrays you, and you sneeze or feel your voice crack, try not to make a big deal out of it. Quickly excuse yourself (if you need to) and get back to the material.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Laugh it off.\", \"描述\": \"In the worst case scenario, others might laugh at your mistakes. If you hear laughter and you feel comfortable enough to laugh at yourself, go for it. If not, smile your most patient smile and wait until everyone's done. Keep your face as blank as possible, and your poise will be more memorable than whatever small mistake you made.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't mention it.\", \"描述\": \"It's a blessing that your reading in class will probably not be the most interesting part of anyone's day, including your own. If you don't want to talk about your performance, that's okay--you don't have to bring it up as a topic of conversation. Just do your best to move on with your day.\\nIf anyone brings it up or tries to tease you, and you don't want to talk about it, switch the conversation to something easier. \\\"I thought that reading would never be over, just like that video series we're watching in Spanish! How many more episodes could there be?\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always be prepared.\\n\", \"If you're called first, don't worry about it. The sooner you start, the sooner it's over with.\\n\", \"Imagine that you are in a different place that you feel relaxed to be in. Then try to block out your surroundings, and focus on what you are reading.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If people make fun of you, ignore them.\\n\", \"Don’t picture your classmates in their underwear to make them feel less intimidating! It’ll either stress you out more or make you laugh.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,637 | How to Be Confident and Safe when Going Out Alone | 1. Getting There
1-1. Tell someone where you are going and how long you plan to stay.
This doesn't mean that you're cramping your own style. You're being smart by letting a family member or friend know where - and when - to start looking for you and worrying, if it comes to that. You don't need to provide a GPS tracker, but it's smart to leave a MapQuest or Google map of your planned route for your friend or parent so they know where to look for you if you don't show up. Knowing you have taken these simple precautions can boost your confidence significantly.
Before you leave to meet your friends, call or text them to let them know you're on your way so they'll know something is up if you're not there.
When you get there, tell your friend or parent that you've made it safely.
1-2. Make sure your car is in good shape if you're driving.
If you're driving somewhere by yourself, you need to make sure that you have a spare tire in case you get a flat tire and that nothing on your dashboard is lit up before you go. You should also have a AAA or other roadside emergency service card with you as well as a charged cell phone. Fill your car up with gas before you leave.
Just checking to make sure everything is cool before you get going is a great step to give you peace of mind before you head out.
1-3. Park your car in a safe location.
Before you get out of your car, think about where you have parked. Is it well-lit, easy to see from the street? This is the best place to park if alone. Avoid parking in dark alleys or very far away from the door of your destination. Remember where you parked - this is very important. Mentally map your path to the door of the place you're going, take note of anyone on the street, and gather your things quickly.
Upon leaving your car, check carefully that it is locked and you have left nothing enticing (like a laptop bag or an iPad) in plain view. Walk purposefully - do not meander - directly to the door and enter immediately.
Lingering on the street is not a good idea, it allows potential attackers to see that you are alone. Be alert, keep anyone you noticed out on the street in your mind, and in the corner of your eye, if possible.
1-4. Walk down a well-lit path when you're on foot.
Even if you're in a relatively safe neighborhood -- and especially if you're not -- you should find the most popular, well-lit street. If you're walking down a dark alley, or find yourself in the middle of a dim residential street, you're more likely to get robbed if there's no one around. A well-lit path will make it easier for you to see where you're going and it will keep criminals from coming your way. Here are some other things to do if you're on foot:
Don't listen to your head phones or keep checking your text messages. Stay alert.
Walk in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic so an abductor is less likely to put you in his car.
Know exactly where you're going to leave the house. If you check your phone's map app every few minutes, you'll be making yourself an easy target.
If you're out alone in the dark, it's not a good time to stop at an ATM.
If there is a group of people that looks sketchy, use an alternative route even though it may take you a few extra minutes to get to your destination.
1-5. Learn how to defend yourself.
It's important to remember that you do not have to suddenly earn a black belt in karate or carry a knife around with you - but if you're generally confident when you go out alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself can reassure you greatly. Train your senses so you will feel like you can look after yourself - be more observant, so that you will know if something is about to happen.
If you travel or live in risky or dangerous areas, learn how to block punches, or think of how to avoid harmful incidents.
Developing a more street smart attitude may seem silly, or pointless, but the simple knowledge that you can protect yourself will increase your confidence.
2. Hanging Out at Your Destination
2-1. Don't share too much personal information with a new acquaintance.
Though making new friends is part of the fun of going out, you should avoid giving too much personal information to someone you just met, unless that person has been vouched for -- like if she's the best friend of one of your best friends. But even then, be on the look out. Do not mention that you came alone. Say you are waiting for friends to arrive or someone is picking you up soon.
If you meet someone you like, make plans to meet in a coffee shop, at a restaurant, or at an amusement park, rather than giving out your home address or place of work.
Don't mention exactly where you live, even in passing.
Giving out your cell phone number is okay if you want to. The main idea is that you take time to really know this person and get a feel for the real guy or girl, not just that first impression.
2-2. Be careful -- but not paranoid.
Remember that good people are like sunny days - there are lots of them. Just because you're being careful doesn't mean you need to be afraid that everyone is out there thinking about how to get one over on you. Be prepared - not paranoid. Remembering that there are more sunny days than days when lightning strikes is useful. Lightning is dangerous, maybe deadly - but rare.
2-3. Let people see you having a good time.
If you want to stay safe and not make yourself a target, have a blast, whether you're with girlfriends or by yourself. People will be less likely to take advantage of you if you look like the life of the party instead of hanging out by yourself in the corner. And remember to relax once you're in a safe environment -- you won't have a good time if you don't. Once you've reached your destination, settle in and resolve to have a good time, no matter what.
3. Getting Home
3-1. Take a taxi home if you're drunk.
Remember that there is no designated driver - you're it. Be aware of what you are drinking. Do not leave your drink unattended for any reason. If someone buys you a drink, make sure you watch the bartender pour it. If you suspect your drink has been compromised, do NOT drink it.Don't get drunk! If you do get drunk, don't plan on going home without calling a taxi or relative to collect you.
Just a reminder: if you're out completely alone, it's not not a good idea to get too drunk or someone will take advantage of you. But if you're walking out to meet friends, that's okay.
3-2. Quickly walk back to your car if you can drive home safely.
Take a close read of the street and then go straight to your car, then home. Alone. If the guard or bouncer, or a group of other women you have met, offer to walk you to your car, take them up on it. At the very least, let someone know that you're going home now, and ask them to watch you till you get in your car.
Take a look around - know who is on the street with you, and if you see an alley between you and your car, walk in the middle of the street if necessary to give yourself plenty of room to move if you need to.
Walk purposefully and confidently to your car, and when you get there, have your keys ready and unlock the car as you are taking your last steps toward it. As you approach the car do a quick visual check that nobody is inside of it. Get in, lock the doors immediately, buckle up, start your car and drive away. Don't sit in your car fixing your make-up or fiddling with your iPad or texting someone - get going.
Tips
People who want to rob or assault others often look for easy targets - nervous types, retiring types, or people just wandering and not really paying attention to their surroundings. Standing tall and walking with purpose makes you look confident - not like an easy target.
Or make a fake wallet with a few bills and old cancelled credit/debit cards and throw that instead of your actual wallet.
Don't forget to bring your pepper spray. It is legal in most states now, and easy to purchase on sites like eBay. It is available in a size that clips onto your key-chain, too.
Warnings
Glance into the backseat of your car as you approach it - it's highly unlikely anyone can be inside the locked car, but it'll make you feel more confident when you're alone to KNOW you're alone.
If you feel like someone is following you, don't go back to your house. That will let whoever is following you know where you live. Walk to a police station or an area with a lot of potential witnesses if something were to happen.
Avoid carrying items you cannot afford to lose.
Stairs, elevators, and parking garages should be avoided altogether if you're getting a bad vibe from the neighborhood.
Don't space out when you're alone. Remember there is no one to depend upon but yourself. Stay alert and keep your wits about you at all times.
Don't count money on the street - that's an invitation to rob you. Stay alert and don't distract yourself while out on the street.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting There\\n1-1. Tell someone where you are going and how long you plan to stay.\\nThis doesn't mean that you're cramping your own style. You're being smart by letting a family member or friend know where - and when - to start looking for you and worrying, if it comes to that. You don't need to provide a GPS tracker, but it's smart to leave a MapQuest or Google map of your planned route for your friend or parent so they know where to look for you if you don't show up. Knowing you have taken these simple precautions can boost your confidence significantly.\\nBefore you leave to meet your friends, call or text them to let them know you're on your way so they'll know something is up if you're not there.\\nWhen you get there, tell your friend or parent that you've made it safely.\\n1-2. Make sure your car is in good shape if you're driving.\\nIf you're driving somewhere by yourself, you need to make sure that you have a spare tire in case you get a flat tire and that nothing on your dashboard is lit up before you go. You should also have a AAA or other roadside emergency service card with you as well as a charged cell phone. Fill your car up with gas before you leave.\\nJust checking to make sure everything is cool before you get going is a great step to give you peace of mind before you head out.\\n1-3. Park your car in a safe location.\\nBefore you get out of your car, think about where you have parked. Is it well-lit, easy to see from the street? This is the best place to park if alone. Avoid parking in dark alleys or very far away from the door of your destination. Remember where you parked - this is very important. Mentally map your path to the door of the place you're going, take note of anyone on the street, and gather your things quickly.\\nUpon leaving your car, check carefully that it is locked and you have left nothing enticing (like a laptop bag or an iPad) in plain view. Walk purposefully - do not meander - directly to the door and enter immediately.\\nLingering on the street is not a good idea, it allows potential attackers to see that you are alone. Be alert, keep anyone you noticed out on the street in your mind, and in the corner of your eye, if possible.\\n1-4. Walk down a well-lit path when you're on foot.\\nEven if you're in a relatively safe neighborhood -- and especially if you're not -- you should find the most popular, well-lit street. If you're walking down a dark alley, or find yourself in the middle of a dim residential street, you're more likely to get robbed if there's no one around. A well-lit path will make it easier for you to see where you're going and it will keep criminals from coming your way. Here are some other things to do if you're on foot:\\nDon't listen to your head phones or keep checking your text messages. Stay alert.\\nWalk in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic so an abductor is less likely to put you in his car.\\nKnow exactly where you're going to leave the house. If you check your phone's map app every few minutes, you'll be making yourself an easy target.\\nIf you're out alone in the dark, it's not a good time to stop at an ATM.\\nIf there is a group of people that looks sketchy, use an alternative route even though it may take you a few extra minutes to get to your destination.\\n1-5. Learn how to defend yourself.\\nIt's important to remember that you do not have to suddenly earn a black belt in karate or carry a knife around with you - but if you're generally confident when you go out alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself can reassure you greatly. Train your senses so you will feel like you can look after yourself - be more observant, so that you will know if something is about to happen.\\nIf you travel or live in risky or dangerous areas, learn how to block punches, or think of how to avoid harmful incidents.\\nDeveloping a more street smart attitude may seem silly, or pointless, but the simple knowledge that you can protect yourself will increase your confidence.\\n2. Hanging Out at Your Destination\\n2-1. Don't share too much personal information with a new acquaintance.\\nThough making new friends is part of the fun of going out, you should avoid giving too much personal information to someone you just met, unless that person has been vouched for -- like if she's the best friend of one of your best friends. But even then, be on the look out. Do not mention that you came alone. Say you are waiting for friends to arrive or someone is picking you up soon.\\nIf you meet someone you like, make plans to meet in a coffee shop, at a restaurant, or at an amusement park, rather than giving out your home address or place of work.\\nDon't mention exactly where you live, even in passing.\\nGiving out your cell phone number is okay if you want to. The main idea is that you take time to really know this person and get a feel for the real guy or girl, not just that first impression.\\n2-2. Be careful -- but not paranoid.\\nRemember that good people are like sunny days - there are lots of them. Just because you're being careful doesn't mean you need to be afraid that everyone is out there thinking about how to get one over on you. Be prepared - not paranoid. Remembering that there are more sunny days than days when lightning strikes is useful. Lightning is dangerous, maybe deadly - but rare.\\n2-3. Let people see you having a good time.\\nIf you want to stay safe and not make yourself a target, have a blast, whether you're with girlfriends or by yourself. People will be less likely to take advantage of you if you look like the life of the party instead of hanging out by yourself in the corner. And remember to relax once you're in a safe environment -- you won't have a good time if you don't. Once you've reached your destination, settle in and resolve to have a good time, no matter what.\\n3. Getting Home\\n3-1. Take a taxi home if you're drunk.\\nRemember that there is no designated driver - you're it. Be aware of what you are drinking. Do not leave your drink unattended for any reason. If someone buys you a drink, make sure you watch the bartender pour it. If you suspect your drink has been compromised, do NOT drink it.Don't get drunk! If you do get drunk, don't plan on going home without calling a taxi or relative to collect you.\\nJust a reminder: if you're out completely alone, it's not not a good idea to get too drunk or someone will take advantage of you. But if you're walking out to meet friends, that's okay.\\n3-2. Quickly walk back to your car if you can drive home safely.\\nTake a close read of the street and then go straight to your car, then home. Alone. If the guard or bouncer, or a group of other women you have met, offer to walk you to your car, take them up on it. At the very least, let someone know that you're going home now, and ask them to watch you till you get in your car.\\nTake a look around - know who is on the street with you, and if you see an alley between you and your car, walk in the middle of the street if necessary to give yourself plenty of room to move if you need to.\\nWalk purposefully and confidently to your car, and when you get there, have your keys ready and unlock the car as you are taking your last steps toward it. As you approach the car do a quick visual check that nobody is inside of it. Get in, lock the doors immediately, buckle up, start your car and drive away. Don't sit in your car fixing your make-up or fiddling with your iPad or texting someone - get going.\\nTips\\nPeople who want to rob or assault others often look for easy targets - nervous types, retiring types, or people just wandering and not really paying attention to their surroundings. Standing tall and walking with purpose makes you look confident - not like an easy target.\\nOr make a fake wallet with a few bills and old cancelled credit/debit cards and throw that instead of your actual wallet.\\nDon't forget to bring your pepper spray. It is legal in most states now, and easy to purchase on sites like eBay. It is available in a size that clips onto your key-chain, too.\\nWarnings\\nGlance into the backseat of your car as you approach it - it's highly unlikely anyone can be inside the locked car, but it'll make you feel more confident when you're alone to KNOW you're alone.\\nIf you feel like someone is following you, don't go back to your house. That will let whoever is following you know where you live. Walk to a police station or an area with a lot of potential witnesses if something were to happen.\\nAvoid carrying items you cannot afford to lose.\\nStairs, elevators, and parking garages should be avoided altogether if you're getting a bad vibe from the neighborhood.\\nDon't space out when you're alone. Remember there is no one to depend upon but yourself. Stay alert and keep your wits about you at all times.\\nDon't count money on the street - that's an invitation to rob you. Stay alert and don't distract yourself while out on the street.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Going out by yourself can seem intimidating, even frightening. Many people feel insecure, or unsafe when they go out alone, whether it's on a trip or just to a party. Feeling unsafe can deter you from having a good time, or even stop you from going out at all. So, how do you go out by yourself and feel confident and safe the whole time? Read on to find out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting There\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell someone where you are going and how long you plan to stay.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean that you're cramping your own style. You're being smart by letting a family member or friend know where - and when - to start looking for you and worrying, if it comes to that. You don't need to provide a GPS tracker, but it's smart to leave a MapQuest or Google map of your planned route for your friend or parent so they know where to look for you if you don't show up. Knowing you have taken these simple precautions can boost your confidence significantly.\\nBefore you leave to meet your friends, call or text them to let them know you're on your way so they'll know something is up if you're not there.\\nWhen you get there, tell your friend or parent that you've made it safely.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure your car is in good shape if you're driving.\", \"描述\": \"If you're driving somewhere by yourself, you need to make sure that you have a spare tire in case you get a flat tire and that nothing on your dashboard is lit up before you go. You should also have a AAA or other roadside emergency service card with you as well as a charged cell phone. Fill your car up with gas before you leave.\\nJust checking to make sure everything is cool before you get going is a great step to give you peace of mind before you head out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Park your car in a safe location.\", \"描述\": \"Before you get out of your car, think about where you have parked. Is it well-lit, easy to see from the street? This is the best place to park if alone. Avoid parking in dark alleys or very far away from the door of your destination. Remember where you parked - this is very important. Mentally map your path to the door of the place you're going, take note of anyone on the street, and gather your things quickly.\\nUpon leaving your car, check carefully that it is locked and you have left nothing enticing (like a laptop bag or an iPad) in plain view. Walk purposefully - do not meander - directly to the door and enter immediately.\\nLingering on the street is not a good idea, it allows potential attackers to see that you are alone. Be alert, keep anyone you noticed out on the street in your mind, and in the corner of your eye, if possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Walk down a well-lit path when you're on foot.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're in a relatively safe neighborhood -- and especially if you're not -- you should find the most popular, well-lit street. If you're walking down a dark alley, or find yourself in the middle of a dim residential street, you're more likely to get robbed if there's no one around. A well-lit path will make it easier for you to see where you're going and it will keep criminals from coming your way. Here are some other things to do if you're on foot:\\nDon't listen to your head phones or keep checking your text messages. Stay alert.\\nWalk in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic so an abductor is less likely to put you in his car.\\nKnow exactly where you're going to leave the house. If you check your phone's map app every few minutes, you'll be making yourself an easy target.\\nIf you're out alone in the dark, it's not a good time to stop at an ATM.\\nIf there is a group of people that looks sketchy, use an alternative route even though it may take you a few extra minutes to get to your destination.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn how to defend yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to remember that you do not have to suddenly earn a black belt in karate or carry a knife around with you - but if you're generally confident when you go out alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself can reassure you greatly. Train your senses so you will feel like you can look after yourself - be more observant, so that you will know if something is about to happen.\\nIf you travel or live in risky or dangerous areas, learn how to block punches, or think of how to avoid harmful incidents.\\nDeveloping a more street smart attitude may seem silly, or pointless, but the simple knowledge that you can protect yourself will increase your confidence.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hanging Out at Your Destination\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't share too much personal information with a new acquaintance.\", \"描述\": \"Though making new friends is part of the fun of going out, you should avoid giving too much personal information to someone you just met, unless that person has been vouched for -- like if she's the best friend of one of your best friends. But even then, be on the look out. Do not mention that you came alone. Say you are waiting for friends to arrive or someone is picking you up soon.\\nIf you meet someone you like, make plans to meet in a coffee shop, at a restaurant, or at an amusement park, rather than giving out your home address or place of work.\\nDon't mention exactly where you live, even in passing.\\nGiving out your cell phone number is okay if you want to. The main idea is that you take time to really know this person and get a feel for the real guy or girl, not just that first impression.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be careful -- but not paranoid.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that good people are like sunny days - there are lots of them. Just because you're being careful doesn't mean you need to be afraid that everyone is out there thinking about how to get one over on you. Be prepared - not paranoid. Remembering that there are more sunny days than days when lightning strikes is useful. Lightning is dangerous, maybe deadly - but rare.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let people see you having a good time.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to stay safe and not make yourself a target, have a blast, whether you're with girlfriends or by yourself. People will be less likely to take advantage of you if you look like the life of the party instead of hanging out by yourself in the corner. And remember to relax once you're in a safe environment -- you won't have a good time if you don't. Once you've reached your destination, settle in and resolve to have a good time, no matter what.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a taxi home if you're drunk.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that there is no designated driver - you're it. Be aware of what you are drinking. Do not leave your drink unattended for any reason. If someone buys you a drink, make sure you watch the bartender pour it. If you suspect your drink has been compromised, do NOT drink it.Don't get drunk! If you do get drunk, don't plan on going home without calling a taxi or relative to collect you.\\nJust a reminder: if you're out completely alone, it's not not a good idea to get too drunk or someone will take advantage of you. But if you're walking out to meet friends, that's okay.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Quickly walk back to your car if you can drive home safely.\", \"描述\": \"Take a close read of the street and then go straight to your car, then home. Alone. If the guard or bouncer, or a group of other women you have met, offer to walk you to your car, take them up on it. At the very least, let someone know that you're going home now, and ask them to watch you till you get in your car.\\nTake a look around - know who is on the street with you, and if you see an alley between you and your car, walk in the middle of the street if necessary to give yourself plenty of room to move if you need to.\\nWalk purposefully and confidently to your car, and when you get there, have your keys ready and unlock the car as you are taking your last steps toward it. As you approach the car do a quick visual check that nobody is inside of it. Get in, lock the doors immediately, buckle up, start your car and drive away. Don't sit in your car fixing your make-up or fiddling with your iPad or texting someone - get going.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"People who want to rob or assault others often look for easy targets - nervous types, retiring types, or people just wandering and not really paying attention to their surroundings. Standing tall and walking with purpose makes you look confident - not like an easy target.\\n\", \"Or make a fake wallet with a few bills and old cancelled credit/debit cards and throw that instead of your actual wallet.\\n\", \"Don't forget to bring your pepper spray. It is legal in most states now, and easy to purchase on sites like eBay. It is available in a size that clips onto your key-chain, too.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Glance into the backseat of your car as you approach it - it's highly unlikely anyone can be inside the locked car, but it'll make you feel more confident when you're alone to KNOW you're alone.\\n\", \"If you feel like someone is following you, don't go back to your house. That will let whoever is following you know where you live. Walk to a police station or an area with a lot of potential witnesses if something were to happen.\\n\", \"Avoid carrying items you cannot afford to lose.\\n\", \"Stairs, elevators, and parking garages should be avoided altogether if you're getting a bad vibe from the neighborhood.\\n\", \"Don't space out when you're alone. Remember there is no one to depend upon but yourself. Stay alert and keep your wits about you at all times.\\n\", \"Don't count money on the street - that's an invitation to rob you. Stay alert and don't distract yourself while out on the street.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,638 | How to Be Confident at the Gym when You Are Overweight | 1. Developing Confidence in Yourself
1-1. Realize no one is looking at you.
One of the scariest things about going to the gym when you’re overweight or not as fit as you’d like is having other people look at you. However, no one is really going to be looking at you when you are at the gym. Most people at the gym feel the same way you do - they are worried people are looking at them. When you go into the gym, feel confident that just as you are focusing only on your workout, others are doing the same thing.
Being self-conscious in the gym is very common. Many people who work out feel like they are overweight, not doing the exercise correctly, or comparing themselves to people they think are more fit than they are. Understanding that you are not the only one who may be uncomfortable may help you start to feel more comfortable.
If someone does look at you like you don’t belong or says something rude, they are being disrespectful and rude. No matter if you are overweight or ripped, you have as much right as everyone else to go to the gym and strive for a healthier lifestyle.
1-2. Remind yourself that working out is a learning process.
Making major lifestyle changes like eating healthy and exercising regularly are learning process. No one is born knowing how to do the exercises they are doing. Try to remind yourself of this the next time you feel uncomfortable at the gym.
Everyone in the gym had to learn at one point. It is usually a bit intimidating to learn something new, but this uncomfortable feeling of everything being new is a part of the learning curve you are on.
Even the most advanced gym-goers are learning new things and learning about how to push their limits with something new.
1-3. Refrain from comparing yourself to everyone else.
One of the worst traps you can get into at the gym is comparing yourself to everyone else. Going to the gym should be a completely self-absorbed activity, where you only worry about yourself. Most of the people at the gym are strangers, and what they think doesn’t matter anyway. Every time you go into the gym and complete a workout, you are one more step towards your goal.
Of course you will inevitably look around at the people working out. Remember that everyone else started somewhere different from where they are.
Instead of looking at the fit people, look for the “normal” people. Gyms are full of all sorts of people, including overweight people, older people, and people who are unfit and never exercised in their life. Remember, you are not alone.
1-4. Do what makes you comfortable.
There is not one way for you to exercise at the gym and get fit. If you feel uncomfortable in the exercise machines because you don’t fit in them, skip the exercise machines. Free weights offer better exercise than machines according to most fitness experts. Choose only exercises that make you feel good.
Just remember not to slack off or not push yourself. Find movements you enjoy and make you want to push yourself.
1-5. Wear clothes that make you feel confident.
Some people treat the gym like a fashion show. However, you need to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. You can buy yourself a new pair of shorts, new sneakers, or a new shirt to make you feel better, or you can wear clothes that always make you feel good about yourself.
You may not feel comfortable wearing tank tops or spandex, and you don’t have to. Instead, wear a t-shirt and some basketball shorts or a loose-fitting tank and tights.
Shirts with motivational or workout-related slogans are becoming more popular. Buy yourself a motivational shirt so that every time you look in the mirror you will feel inspired to work harder.
1-6. Start off slow.
It’s okay that you are not the fittest person at the gym. You are at the gym working on a healthier lifestyle. When you try new things, start off slow. You don’t have to lift as much or go as fast as anyone else. You want to work on your form and increase your strength and endurance slowly. It isn’t a race or a competition.
Going too fast or trying to lift too much at first can lead to injury.
Remember, no one started off lifting tons of weight or running fast. Everyone worked up to the level they are.
2. Focusing on Your Workout
2-1. Choose one exercise to focus on.
You don’t have to conquer everything at once. You don’t have to work on every muscle group at the same time. While you want to get a balanced workout, maybe choose one or two exercises to begin with to help you start to get comfortable at the gym. Think about something you may already be familiar with or something you’ve always wanted to learn.
For example, you may decide you want to focus on barbell squats. Go into the free weight section and choose your weight. You may only be able to do 35 or 45 pounds, and that is great. Spend a few weeks working on your squat. Hopefully by the end of a couple weeks, you feel more comfortable in the gym and want to try other new exercises.
You may also decide to focus on the treadmill and the shoulder machine, or doing bicep curls and shoulder presses with hand weights.
Don’t worry about the guy next to you who can squat or press hundreds of pounds. You are in the gym, working on your goal. That’s impressive and progress for you.
2-2. Take the hand weights to a different room.
If you do not feel confident using the hand weights in the free weight weight, grab what you need and move to a different room. It doesn’t matter if you use the weights in the free weight room or another room. Going to a place you feel more comfortable can give you the confidence to get through the workout.
Just remember to return the weights after you are finished.
2-3. Set up sessions with the personal trainer.
If you are unsure where to begin at the gym, you can set up personal training sessions with the gym trainers. During the sessions, you and the trainer will come up with a workout plan tailored to your fitness level and goals. This can help you feel confident that you are using a plan that will get you results.
During training sessions, trainers will be there, coaching and encouraging you. They can help you learn difficult moves and motivate you when you want to give up.
Personal training sessions can be expensive, so this may not be an option for everyone.
2-4. Join a group class.
Group classes are an excellent way to try new things and work towards your fitness goals. Group classes are given at different times throughout the week and cover a wide variety of exercises. During group classes, you will be exercising alongside other people with an instructor taking you through the routine.
Instructors are generally encouraging during classes or stay at front of the exercise room as they do the workout with you. You won’t have instructors hovering over you or yelling at you if you have to stop and rest or modify the exercise.
A group exercise class is a good way to try a new exercise in a low-stress, inclusive environment.
2-5. Develop a workout plan.
When you get to the gym, you should have a workout plan ready. This can help you be more confident. Knowing which machines you want to use, which exercises you want to do, and how many sets and reps you want can help you not feel intimidated or uncomfortable as your workout.
Having a plan gives you focus for your workout. You will also have goals, and each time you hit one of your exercise goals, you will feel more confident.
2-6. Work out with a friend.
Bringing a friend to the gym can help you feel more confident. Your friend can provide emotional support and motivation, so that you can work out with more confidence. It is always easier to do something that is intimidating when you are not alone.
Make sure your friend has the same goal in mind as you, that way you end up exercising instead of talking.
3. Getting Comfortable in the Gym Space
3-1. Familiarize yourself with the gym.
Many people feel uncomfortable in a gym because they are new to it and feel like they don’t belong. That just means you have to get used to the gym space. After you get your membership, spend some time just walking around. The more familiar you are with a place and the more time you spend in it, the more comfortable you will be there.
Start by walking around the cardio machines. Look at the treadmills, stationary bikes, and ellipticals.
Walk around the weight machines. Look at what each one does and which ones you are interested in using.
Go into the free weights room or section. This room can be the scariest for people. Maybe you’re not ready for barbells, but look at the hand weights. Most gyms have them in weights ranging from five or 10 pounds to 50.
Check out the pool, spin room, group exercise room, sauna, and locker room. Continue walking around the gym during your next few visits as you get used to this new and potentially nerve-wracking exercise space.
3-2. Introduce yourself to people at the gym.
Getting to know the people at your gym can help to make you feel more comfortable when you visit. You may also get some encouragement from people who go regularly.
Try starting out by saying “hi” to people you see at the gym often.
After a few times, you might try introducing yourself to break the ice. For example, you can say, “Hi. My name is ____. I am just getting started here. How long have you been a member?”
Over time, you may develop friendships with the people at your gym and gain some extra support as you continue your fitness journey.
3-3. Ask for help from the gym trainers.
The people who work in the gym are there to help. If you aren’t sure how to do something, ask them to help you. You will gain confidence once you learn how to properly do moves like squats, deadlifts, or presses. You can also ask for help with machines if you don’t know how they work. They are there to help you, so let them!
Many gym trainers will take you through machines or the free weight room if you are new to working out. They will help teach you how to properly use the machines or do moves so you can avoid injury.
Many gym memberships come with one free personal training session. These sessions can be a good time for you to ask questions or get a trainer to help you get started on a workout plan tailored to you.
3-4. Use your headphones.
A good way to be confident in the gym is to listen to your favorite music. Nothing is more motivating than some feel good, pumped-yourself-up tunes. Make a playlist full of songs that make you feel good about yourself and want to move.
Headphones are a good way to block out other people if you feel uncomfortable.
3-5. Try a specialized gym.
If you are only interested in certain types of exercise, you may consider joining a specialized gym. These gyms only offer classes in a certain area instead of offering a variety of everything. You may feel better and more confident surrounded by people who are interested in the same activity as you.
For example, you can join gyms for yoga, barre, spin, kickboxing, or CrossFit.
3-6. Workout during slower gym times.
If you are not confident at the gym yet, you can go during slower times when the gym isn’t as busy. During these times, there won’t be as many people around you to make you feel less confident. You may be able to work out in nearly empty rooms, meaning you can try things without feeling like people are watching you.
Most gyms are busiest in the evenings right after work. During the day and later in the evenings are generally not as busy.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Confidence in Yourself\\n1-1. Realize no one is looking at you.\\nOne of the scariest things about going to the gym when you’re overweight or not as fit as you’d like is having other people look at you. However, no one is really going to be looking at you when you are at the gym. Most people at the gym feel the same way you do - they are worried people are looking at them. When you go into the gym, feel confident that just as you are focusing only on your workout, others are doing the same thing.\\nBeing self-conscious in the gym is very common. Many people who work out feel like they are overweight, not doing the exercise correctly, or comparing themselves to people they think are more fit than they are. Understanding that you are not the only one who may be uncomfortable may help you start to feel more comfortable.\\nIf someone does look at you like you don’t belong or says something rude, they are being disrespectful and rude. No matter if you are overweight or ripped, you have as much right as everyone else to go to the gym and strive for a healthier lifestyle.\\n1-2. Remind yourself that working out is a learning process.\\nMaking major lifestyle changes like eating healthy and exercising regularly are learning process. No one is born knowing how to do the exercises they are doing. Try to remind yourself of this the next time you feel uncomfortable at the gym.\\nEveryone in the gym had to learn at one point. It is usually a bit intimidating to learn something new, but this uncomfortable feeling of everything being new is a part of the learning curve you are on.\\nEven the most advanced gym-goers are learning new things and learning about how to push their limits with something new.\\n1-3. Refrain from comparing yourself to everyone else.\\nOne of the worst traps you can get into at the gym is comparing yourself to everyone else. Going to the gym should be a completely self-absorbed activity, where you only worry about yourself. Most of the people at the gym are strangers, and what they think doesn’t matter anyway. Every time you go into the gym and complete a workout, you are one more step towards your goal.\\nOf course you will inevitably look around at the people working out. Remember that everyone else started somewhere different from where they are.\\nInstead of looking at the fit people, look for the “normal” people. Gyms are full of all sorts of people, including overweight people, older people, and people who are unfit and never exercised in their life. Remember, you are not alone.\\n1-4. Do what makes you comfortable.\\nThere is not one way for you to exercise at the gym and get fit. If you feel uncomfortable in the exercise machines because you don’t fit in them, skip the exercise machines. Free weights offer better exercise than machines according to most fitness experts. Choose only exercises that make you feel good.\\nJust remember not to slack off or not push yourself. Find movements you enjoy and make you want to push yourself.\\n1-5. Wear clothes that make you feel confident.\\nSome people treat the gym like a fashion show. However, you need to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. You can buy yourself a new pair of shorts, new sneakers, or a new shirt to make you feel better, or you can wear clothes that always make you feel good about yourself.\\nYou may not feel comfortable wearing tank tops or spandex, and you don’t have to. Instead, wear a t-shirt and some basketball shorts or a loose-fitting tank and tights.\\nShirts with motivational or workout-related slogans are becoming more popular. Buy yourself a motivational shirt so that every time you look in the mirror you will feel inspired to work harder.\\n1-6. Start off slow.\\nIt’s okay that you are not the fittest person at the gym. You are at the gym working on a healthier lifestyle. When you try new things, start off slow. You don’t have to lift as much or go as fast as anyone else. You want to work on your form and increase your strength and endurance slowly. It isn’t a race or a competition.\\nGoing too fast or trying to lift too much at first can lead to injury.\\nRemember, no one started off lifting tons of weight or running fast. Everyone worked up to the level they are.\\n2. Focusing on Your Workout\\n2-1. Choose one exercise to focus on.\\nYou don’t have to conquer everything at once. You don’t have to work on every muscle group at the same time. While you want to get a balanced workout, maybe choose one or two exercises to begin with to help you start to get comfortable at the gym. Think about something you may already be familiar with or something you’ve always wanted to learn.\\nFor example, you may decide you want to focus on barbell squats. Go into the free weight section and choose your weight. You may only be able to do 35 or 45 pounds, and that is great. Spend a few weeks working on your squat. Hopefully by the end of a couple weeks, you feel more comfortable in the gym and want to try other new exercises.\\nYou may also decide to focus on the treadmill and the shoulder machine, or doing bicep curls and shoulder presses with hand weights.\\nDon’t worry about the guy next to you who can squat or press hundreds of pounds. You are in the gym, working on your goal. That’s impressive and progress for you.\\n2-2. Take the hand weights to a different room.\\nIf you do not feel confident using the hand weights in the free weight weight, grab what you need and move to a different room. It doesn’t matter if you use the weights in the free weight room or another room. Going to a place you feel more comfortable can give you the confidence to get through the workout.\\nJust remember to return the weights after you are finished.\\n2-3. Set up sessions with the personal trainer.\\nIf you are unsure where to begin at the gym, you can set up personal training sessions with the gym trainers. During the sessions, you and the trainer will come up with a workout plan tailored to your fitness level and goals. This can help you feel confident that you are using a plan that will get you results.\\nDuring training sessions, trainers will be there, coaching and encouraging you. They can help you learn difficult moves and motivate you when you want to give up.\\nPersonal training sessions can be expensive, so this may not be an option for everyone.\\n2-4. Join a group class.\\nGroup classes are an excellent way to try new things and work towards your fitness goals. Group classes are given at different times throughout the week and cover a wide variety of exercises. During group classes, you will be exercising alongside other people with an instructor taking you through the routine.\\nInstructors are generally encouraging during classes or stay at front of the exercise room as they do the workout with you. You won’t have instructors hovering over you or yelling at you if you have to stop and rest or modify the exercise.\\nA group exercise class is a good way to try a new exercise in a low-stress, inclusive environment.\\n2-5. Develop a workout plan.\\nWhen you get to the gym, you should have a workout plan ready. This can help you be more confident. Knowing which machines you want to use, which exercises you want to do, and how many sets and reps you want can help you not feel intimidated or uncomfortable as your workout.\\nHaving a plan gives you focus for your workout. You will also have goals, and each time you hit one of your exercise goals, you will feel more confident.\\n2-6. Work out with a friend.\\nBringing a friend to the gym can help you feel more confident. Your friend can provide emotional support and motivation, so that you can work out with more confidence. It is always easier to do something that is intimidating when you are not alone.\\nMake sure your friend has the same goal in mind as you, that way you end up exercising instead of talking.\\n3. Getting Comfortable in the Gym Space\\n3-1. Familiarize yourself with the gym.\\nMany people feel uncomfortable in a gym because they are new to it and feel like they don’t belong. That just means you have to get used to the gym space. After you get your membership, spend some time just walking around. The more familiar you are with a place and the more time you spend in it, the more comfortable you will be there.\\nStart by walking around the cardio machines. Look at the treadmills, stationary bikes, and ellipticals.\\nWalk around the weight machines. Look at what each one does and which ones you are interested in using.\\nGo into the free weights room or section. This room can be the scariest for people. Maybe you’re not ready for barbells, but look at the hand weights. Most gyms have them in weights ranging from five or 10 pounds to 50.\\nCheck out the pool, spin room, group exercise room, sauna, and locker room. Continue walking around the gym during your next few visits as you get used to this new and potentially nerve-wracking exercise space.\\n3-2. Introduce yourself to people at the gym.\\nGetting to know the people at your gym can help to make you feel more comfortable when you visit. You may also get some encouragement from people who go regularly.\\nTry starting out by saying “hi” to people you see at the gym often.\\nAfter a few times, you might try introducing yourself to break the ice. For example, you can say, “Hi. My name is ____. I am just getting started here. How long have you been a member?”\\nOver time, you may develop friendships with the people at your gym and gain some extra support as you continue your fitness journey.\\n3-3. Ask for help from the gym trainers.\\nThe people who work in the gym are there to help. If you aren’t sure how to do something, ask them to help you. You will gain confidence once you learn how to properly do moves like squats, deadlifts, or presses. You can also ask for help with machines if you don’t know how they work. They are there to help you, so let them!\\nMany gym trainers will take you through machines or the free weight room if you are new to working out. They will help teach you how to properly use the machines or do moves so you can avoid injury.\\nMany gym memberships come with one free personal training session. These sessions can be a good time for you to ask questions or get a trainer to help you get started on a workout plan tailored to you.\\n3-4. Use your headphones.\\nA good way to be confident in the gym is to listen to your favorite music. Nothing is more motivating than some feel good, pumped-yourself-up tunes. Make a playlist full of songs that make you feel good about yourself and want to move.\\nHeadphones are a good way to block out other people if you feel uncomfortable.\\n3-5. Try a specialized gym.\\nIf you are only interested in certain types of exercise, you may consider joining a specialized gym. These gyms only offer classes in a certain area instead of offering a variety of everything. You may feel better and more confident surrounded by people who are interested in the same activity as you.\\nFor example, you can join gyms for yoga, barre, spin, kickboxing, or CrossFit.\\n3-6. Workout during slower gym times.\\nIf you are not confident at the gym yet, you can go during slower times when the gym isn’t as busy. During these times, there won’t be as many people around you to make you feel less confident. You may be able to work out in nearly empty rooms, meaning you can try things without feeling like people are watching you.\\nMost gyms are busiest in the evenings right after work. During the day and later in the evenings are generally not as busy.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Going to the gym can be intimidating, but it can be especially daunting if you are overweight. You may think everyone at the gym is more fit than you or that you will be unable to do what others can. However, no matter your weight or fitness level, you can gain confidence to go to the gym by not comparing yourself to other people, realizing people aren’t staring at you, going through your workout slowly, and choosing exercises that you enjoy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Confidence in Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize no one is looking at you.\", \"描述\": \"One of the scariest things about going to the gym when you’re overweight or not as fit as you’d like is having other people look at you. However, no one is really going to be looking at you when you are at the gym. Most people at the gym feel the same way you do - they are worried people are looking at them. When you go into the gym, feel confident that just as you are focusing only on your workout, others are doing the same thing.\\nBeing self-conscious in the gym is very common. Many people who work out feel like they are overweight, not doing the exercise correctly, or comparing themselves to people they think are more fit than they are. Understanding that you are not the only one who may be uncomfortable may help you start to feel more comfortable.\\nIf someone does look at you like you don’t belong or says something rude, they are being disrespectful and rude. No matter if you are overweight or ripped, you have as much right as everyone else to go to the gym and strive for a healthier lifestyle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself that working out is a learning process.\", \"描述\": \"Making major lifestyle changes like eating healthy and exercising regularly are learning process. No one is born knowing how to do the exercises they are doing. Try to remind yourself of this the next time you feel uncomfortable at the gym.\\nEveryone in the gym had to learn at one point. It is usually a bit intimidating to learn something new, but this uncomfortable feeling of everything being new is a part of the learning curve you are on.\\nEven the most advanced gym-goers are learning new things and learning about how to push their limits with something new.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Refrain from comparing yourself to everyone else.\", \"描述\": \"One of the worst traps you can get into at the gym is comparing yourself to everyone else. Going to the gym should be a completely self-absorbed activity, where you only worry about yourself. Most of the people at the gym are strangers, and what they think doesn’t matter anyway. Every time you go into the gym and complete a workout, you are one more step towards your goal.\\nOf course you will inevitably look around at the people working out. Remember that everyone else started somewhere different from where they are.\\nInstead of looking at the fit people, look for the “normal” people. Gyms are full of all sorts of people, including overweight people, older people, and people who are unfit and never exercised in their life. Remember, you are not alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do what makes you comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"There is not one way for you to exercise at the gym and get fit. If you feel uncomfortable in the exercise machines because you don’t fit in them, skip the exercise machines. Free weights offer better exercise than machines according to most fitness experts. Choose only exercises that make you feel good.\\nJust remember not to slack off or not push yourself. Find movements you enjoy and make you want to push yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel confident.\", \"描述\": \"Some people treat the gym like a fashion show. However, you need to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. You can buy yourself a new pair of shorts, new sneakers, or a new shirt to make you feel better, or you can wear clothes that always make you feel good about yourself.\\nYou may not feel comfortable wearing tank tops or spandex, and you don’t have to. Instead, wear a t-shirt and some basketball shorts or a loose-fitting tank and tights.\\nShirts with motivational or workout-related slogans are becoming more popular. Buy yourself a motivational shirt so that every time you look in the mirror you will feel inspired to work harder.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Start off slow.\", \"描述\": \"It’s okay that you are not the fittest person at the gym. You are at the gym working on a healthier lifestyle. When you try new things, start off slow. You don’t have to lift as much or go as fast as anyone else. You want to work on your form and increase your strength and endurance slowly. It isn’t a race or a competition.\\nGoing too fast or trying to lift too much at first can lead to injury.\\nRemember, no one started off lifting tons of weight or running fast. Everyone worked up to the level they are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focusing on Your Workout\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose one exercise to focus on.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to conquer everything at once. You don’t have to work on every muscle group at the same time. While you want to get a balanced workout, maybe choose one or two exercises to begin with to help you start to get comfortable at the gym. Think about something you may already be familiar with or something you’ve always wanted to learn.\\nFor example, you may decide you want to focus on barbell squats. Go into the free weight section and choose your weight. You may only be able to do 35 or 45 pounds, and that is great. Spend a few weeks working on your squat. Hopefully by the end of a couple weeks, you feel more comfortable in the gym and want to try other new exercises.\\nYou may also decide to focus on the treadmill and the shoulder machine, or doing bicep curls and shoulder presses with hand weights.\\nDon’t worry about the guy next to you who can squat or press hundreds of pounds. You are in the gym, working on your goal. That’s impressive and progress for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take the hand weights to a different room.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not feel confident using the hand weights in the free weight weight, grab what you need and move to a different room. It doesn’t matter if you use the weights in the free weight room or another room. Going to a place you feel more comfortable can give you the confidence to get through the workout.\\nJust remember to return the weights after you are finished.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up sessions with the personal trainer.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unsure where to begin at the gym, you can set up personal training sessions with the gym trainers. During the sessions, you and the trainer will come up with a workout plan tailored to your fitness level and goals. This can help you feel confident that you are using a plan that will get you results.\\nDuring training sessions, trainers will be there, coaching and encouraging you. They can help you learn difficult moves and motivate you when you want to give up.\\nPersonal training sessions can be expensive, so this may not be an option for everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join a group class.\", \"描述\": \"Group classes are an excellent way to try new things and work towards your fitness goals. Group classes are given at different times throughout the week and cover a wide variety of exercises. During group classes, you will be exercising alongside other people with an instructor taking you through the routine.\\nInstructors are generally encouraging during classes or stay at front of the exercise room as they do the workout with you. You won’t have instructors hovering over you or yelling at you if you have to stop and rest or modify the exercise.\\nA group exercise class is a good way to try a new exercise in a low-stress, inclusive environment.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop a workout plan.\", \"描述\": \"When you get to the gym, you should have a workout plan ready. This can help you be more confident. Knowing which machines you want to use, which exercises you want to do, and how many sets and reps you want can help you not feel intimidated or uncomfortable as your workout.\\nHaving a plan gives you focus for your workout. You will also have goals, and each time you hit one of your exercise goals, you will feel more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Work out with a friend.\", \"描述\": \"Bringing a friend to the gym can help you feel more confident. Your friend can provide emotional support and motivation, so that you can work out with more confidence. It is always easier to do something that is intimidating when you are not alone.\\nMake sure your friend has the same goal in mind as you, that way you end up exercising instead of talking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Comfortable in the Gym Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with the gym.\", \"描述\": \"Many people feel uncomfortable in a gym because they are new to it and feel like they don’t belong. That just means you have to get used to the gym space. After you get your membership, spend some time just walking around. The more familiar you are with a place and the more time you spend in it, the more comfortable you will be there.\\nStart by walking around the cardio machines. Look at the treadmills, stationary bikes, and ellipticals.\\nWalk around the weight machines. Look at what each one does and which ones you are interested in using.\\nGo into the free weights room or section. This room can be the scariest for people. Maybe you’re not ready for barbells, but look at the hand weights. Most gyms have them in weights ranging from five or 10 pounds to 50.\\nCheck out the pool, spin room, group exercise room, sauna, and locker room. Continue walking around the gym during your next few visits as you get used to this new and potentially nerve-wracking exercise space.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself to people at the gym.\", \"描述\": \"Getting to know the people at your gym can help to make you feel more comfortable when you visit. You may also get some encouragement from people who go regularly.\\nTry starting out by saying “hi” to people you see at the gym often.\\nAfter a few times, you might try introducing yourself to break the ice. For example, you can say, “Hi. My name is ____. I am just getting started here. How long have you been a member?”\\nOver time, you may develop friendships with the people at your gym and gain some extra support as you continue your fitness journey.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for help from the gym trainers.\", \"描述\": \"The people who work in the gym are there to help. If you aren’t sure how to do something, ask them to help you. You will gain confidence once you learn how to properly do moves like squats, deadlifts, or presses. You can also ask for help with machines if you don’t know how they work. They are there to help you, so let them!\\nMany gym trainers will take you through machines or the free weight room if you are new to working out. They will help teach you how to properly use the machines or do moves so you can avoid injury.\\nMany gym memberships come with one free personal training session. These sessions can be a good time for you to ask questions or get a trainer to help you get started on a workout plan tailored to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use your headphones.\", \"描述\": \"A good way to be confident in the gym is to listen to your favorite music. Nothing is more motivating than some feel good, pumped-yourself-up tunes. Make a playlist full of songs that make you feel good about yourself and want to move.\\nHeadphones are a good way to block out other people if you feel uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try a specialized gym.\", \"描述\": \"If you are only interested in certain types of exercise, you may consider joining a specialized gym. These gyms only offer classes in a certain area instead of offering a variety of everything. You may feel better and more confident surrounded by people who are interested in the same activity as you.\\nFor example, you can join gyms for yoga, barre, spin, kickboxing, or CrossFit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Workout during slower gym times.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not confident at the gym yet, you can go during slower times when the gym isn’t as busy. During these times, there won’t be as many people around you to make you feel less confident. You may be able to work out in nearly empty rooms, meaning you can try things without feeling like people are watching you.\\nMost gyms are busiest in the evenings right after work. During the day and later in the evenings are generally not as busy.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,639 | How to Be Confident in Your Looks | 1. Changing Your Style
1-1. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable.
The clothes you wear can really have an effect on your self-esteem. For example, wearing a superhero costume can boost confidence and make people feel stronger; women perform better on a math test in a sweater than in a swimsuit; and a white coat gives people more “mental agility.”
Focus on wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable, such as a nice soft sweater, your favorite jeans, and a suit and tie (or something else professional looking).
Examine your wardrobe and make sure your clothes fit your style. If they don’t, you may need to go shopping! If you dislike shopping in public or don’t know what is in style, consider a service that selects clothes for you and sends them to your house or find an online retailer with an easy free return policy.
Wear colors that you like. Doing so will help boost your mood. If you can’t decide on a color you like, a good go-to color is blue because people general respond positively to it.
1-2. Wear clothes that accentuate the physical features you like.
Find outfits that will look good to you when you look in a mirror because they match your body type or include accessories that show off your good features. There is no perfect body type, but there are good and bad clothes for particular body types. Clothes that fit because they match your type are more likely to look good on you.
If you are very skinny, avoid wearing dark colors, such as black, which are slimming. Wear lighter colors instead. Slim women should try to create some curve by belting a flowing dress in the center. Thin men should avoid wearing large or baggy clothing to add the appearance of bulk; dressing in the appropriate size will look better.
If you have broad shoulders and narrow hips, avoid scarves with patterns (calling attention to your shoulders), shirts that accentuate your shoulders, and footwear that looks small for your body type, but do wear pants that make your hips look bigger and shoes with wider heels or boots with buckles that call attention to your feet.
If your body is pear-shaped, wear bright colors or patterns on top and dark, solid colors on the bottom and avoid horizontal stripes, particularly on the bottom.
If you have a round body type, avoid too much fabric in the middle of your body, belts, and skirts less than knee-length, but do wear details above your bust line and below your hipline.
If you have a curvy body shape, try clothing that is skinny at the waist but flowy at the top and bottom. This will accentuate your curves and downplay your legs a bit.
1-3. Wear clothes in the appropriate size or have them tailored.
Wearing clothes that fit you at your current weight and height will make you feel better about the way you look, even if the clothes are not the ideal size you want to be.
Special order clothes in sizes that actually fit you. If you are a very tall and skinny man, for example, you may need to order Medium Tall sizes online rather than settling for clothing in the store that is too wide and baggy on you because it is the appropriate length.
Have clothing tailored for length or width to fit you well. Tailors also know tricks like adding darts (folded sections of fabric that create a flattering shape) to clothing to accentuate positive features such as curves.
1-4. Wear the right lipstick.
Using lipstick well means more than just selecting the right color; it also means taking care of your lips as a part of your overall look by exfoliating (eg, with a mixture of salt and almond oil) and applying balm twice a week. For the lipstick itself, makeup artists recommend the following:
Avoid lipstick that shimmers and sparkles because it tends to look cheap
Choose a bright color based on your lip color (eg, pale lips=cherry lipstick, natural=cranberry, and dark lips=burgundy).
Choose a nude color based on your skin tone (choose something slightly brighter or deeper than your skin).
Avoid blue or black based shades, as they tend to make you look older, more severe, and yes, even scarier (think vampire).
Liner is not necessary, but when you use it, pick a color that matches your lips, not the lipstick.
Apply lipstick carefully then smudge the border slightly for a softer effect.
Apply starting in the center and then blend the color towards the corners, careful not to apply directly to the corners of your mouth.
Apply strong lipstick shades to the bottom lip and then press your lips together for a lighter application.
Apply lipstick once, blot your lips on a tissue, and apply again for a longer lasting effect.
1-5. Apply make-up based on your face shape.
Although makeup is not for everyone, those who use makeup can improve their self-image by becoming more educated on how to use makeup to improve their confidence in their looks. Just as with clothes, the goal is to match your shape (in this case face shape) and direct the eyes to the features you want to accentuate. To determine your face shape, pull your hair back and look in the mirror at your hairline and chin:
Heart-shaped faces (broad forehead and pointed chin) should draw focus away from their prominent chin and cheekbones with soft tones on the face and color on the lips.
Rounded faces (forehead and lower face are the same width) should help add definition using makeup on the cheeks and eyes (eg, using smoky eye shadow).
Square faces (Angular jawbone and hairline) should use soft colors on the skin, mouth, and eyes to soften facial features.
Oval faces (forehead and lower face are same width with longer sides) should apply blush with horizontal strokes and define their eyes and lips to reduce the length of their face.
1-6. Get a good haircut.
A great haircut from a stylish salon or respectable barber shop can make you feel more confident about your looks and will give you a more up-to-date, fashionable style. As with makeup, the key to a good hairstyle is to match the shape of your face:
Heart-shaped faces should consider bangs and side-parts with chin-length hair that helps to round out the face more.
Round faces should consider a center or slightly off-center part and “face-framing layers” that minimize the fullness and create “a more chiseled illusion.”
Square faces should consider “face-framing layers” and a side-part that draws attention to the cheekbones.
Oval faces should find that most styles work for them as the techniques for other face shapes are meant to make the face look more like oval-shaped faces.
1-7. Stay well-groomed.
Looking like you thought about your appearance and are taking care of yourself can boost your confidence and can be achieved with a few simple grooming tips:
Keep your nails trimmed and shaped neatly (women and men can benefit from this tip). Be sure your nail beds are clean.
Brush your teeth several times daily, particularly after meals with tooth-gunk potential.
Keep moist wipes and cleansing cloths with you to clean off makeup, sunscreen, and sweat, or just to refresh yourself after a few stressful hours. Make sure to also do a full facial wash every 2 to 3 days to keep your skin clear.
Use an anti-aging moisturizer, sun protector, and concealer (to even out skin tone).
Use your fingers (as opposed to brushes) to apply makeup and get a better feel (literally) for how much makeup you are applying that can lead to a more natural look.
Use press-on nails for a quick manicured look. Even for people who experienced the 80’s, they are more socially acceptable today than you might realize!
Apply a deodorant or antiperspirant regularly.
Use natural oils (eg, avocado, coconut, or almond) to keep your body and hair moisturized.
2. Improving your Appearance Self-Esteem
2-1. Identify the source of your lack of confidence.
Figuring out why you lack confidence can help you target those feelings. Start writing a "self-esteem" journal, where you note when you feel more and less confident about the way you look. After a week or two, look back at your notes and try to find patterns to the way you feel.
Were you more confident in any of the following situations: after spending more time grooming or getting ready, if you dressed a certain way, spending time in smaller groups, spending time away from certain individuals, or spending less time on social media or looking at celebrity media?
Are there any "bigger" issues, such as your employment status or personal troubles that seem to trigger your feelings of low confidence? Some people turn this type of anxiety towards their self-perception, which may seem easier to deal with than the “bigger” problem of job security or personal problems.
If you don't see any patterns or you're still not sure what is causing your lack of confidence, you may want to try a number of different tips to find what seems to help the most.
2-2. Address your body image perception.
Dr. Vivian Diller has a number of different cognitive-behavioral techniques for improving your confidence in your looks, which she calls “beauty self-esteem.” These techniques focus on evaluating the source of your self-esteem, questioning your negative opinion of your looks, and thinking about ways to think about your looks more positively.
Focus on sitting up straight with your chest pushed out while doing the following steps for maximum confidence.
2-3. Write down your positive attributes.
Write the 3 things about your looks and the 3 things about your personality that you like the most. Place all 6 items in order of importance and write 1 sentence about each. For example, “I help others. I volunteer every week for a local charity and always call my friends back right away when they need to talk.”
2-4. Analyze your positive attributes.
Notice where the physical features ranked relative to your personality features; most people rank personality features above physical features, which emphasizes not only that our self-esteem is influenced more about how we feel about our personality but also that others’ opinion of us is likely more influenced about personality too.
2-5. List your best features.
Write down the 3 physical features that you think are most appealing to you, using a sentence to describe each one. For example, “My long curly hair - especially just after I leave the hair salon and looks so full and bouncy” or “My broad shoulders, especially when my girlfriend puts her head on my shoulder for comfort.”
This exercise shows that everyone has features they can be proud of. These features can be accentuated by clothing choice.
2-6. Look in the mirror.
Look at yourself in the mirror and see what thoughts come into your head. Whose words are they: your own or someone else’s? Whose words do they remind you of: a bully’s, a parent’s or a friend’s?
Question the accuracy of the words in your head: Are your muscles really smaller than most people’s? Are your hips really that big? Are you really that much taller than other people? Do any of those things really matter?
Think about how you would talk to a friend. How is it different than your self-talk, and how can you get yourself to think positively about yourself instead of using the critical or negative tone you likely used to begin with?
Find what you like about yourself in the mirror and from now on, whenever you look in the mirror, look at this attribute rather any perceived negative attributes you normally focus on.
2-7. Be skeptical of the media.
Remember that the media portrayal of the body is designed to make you feel bad about yourself because that is what gets you to buy products and new clothes. Not only are the body images portrayed not average, they are often helped by digital enhancement using software like Adobe Photoshop. People who recognize this and are more media savvy often have better self-perceptions.
2-8. Work on positive re-framing.
If you find yourself having negative thoughts about the way you look, stop yourself and re-frame it as something positive. For example, if you think your nose is too big, stop and remind yourself that you have a strong, unique profile. If you think you are overweight, think about your awesome curves and plan what lifestyle changes you can make.
2-9. Keep a confidence journal.
Every night before you go to sleep, write down 3 positive things about yourself. Then in the morning, read them and add two more. It's okay to repeat what you have said before. The more positive self-thought you have, the better your overall self-esteem will become.
2-10. Seek counselling.
If your negative self-perception persists, you may want to consider seeing a therapist. Your thoughts about the way you look may be related to deeper issues that you're not fully aware of, and counselling can help you have a healthier self-esteem in general.
3. Improving Your Quality of Life
3-1. Choose your friends wisely.
Pay attention to your friends and how they make you feel. Surround yourself with people who don’t criticize or judge you because it can negatively affect your body image.
Friends can even help you work towards your health and fitness goals, which may help you feel more confident in your looks as well. Find a gym partner or a hiking buddy.
3-2. Smile and laugh as much as possible.
As easy and obvious as it sounds, smiling, even when you are forced to do it, can lower stress and make you feel better about yourself. Furthermore, people will see you as approachable and trusting.
3-3. Exercise regularly.
Whether or not exercise actually changes your physical appearance, it can change your perception of yourself, which can lead to increased self esteem. A national survey of physical activity and weight has shown that people who were not satisfied with their body size were less likely to be physically active, regardless of how much they actually weighed. This finding suggests that just being physically active can be related to a better self-image.
The amount of exercise needs to be enough to give you a sense of accomplishment and needs to be regular, but does not need to be any specific type of exercise or be done for any specific amount of time.
3-4. Eat a healthy diet.
Certain foods, such as those high in carbohydrates and sugar, can cause you to become sluggish and negatively affect your mood. Foods that can improve your mood are those that are low in fat and release their energy slowly. These foods give energy for sustained periods of time and do not carry the risk of weight gain, bloating, and irritability; they can also lead to stronger hair and nails, which can improve your overall self-image.
Avoid eating foods that are sugary, fried, or overly processed.
Eat more nuts and seeds, legumes, and fresh fruits and vegetables, particularly produce with vibrant, rich colors.
3-5. Take a compliment.
If you get a compliment, don’t deflect it, take it! If you are uncertain about your looks, it may feel awkward to get compliments and your anxious reaction might be to deflect or down-play the compliment. For example, if someone compliments your shirt, you might tell them it is a hand-me-down that you only wore because all of your other clothes are dirty. This is a reflection of your anxiety about your looks and can make both you and the person who complimented you uncomfortable. Instead, just say thank you and fully enjoy the compliment you earned.
Tips
Remember that what other people think of you doesn't matter. The important is what you, and only you, think of yourself.
Saying positive and confident things aloud to yourself can help you feel more confident.
If people say mean things to you, remember that they are only showing the negative side of themselves, and their comment says more about them than about you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Style\\n1-1. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable.\\nThe clothes you wear can really have an effect on your self-esteem. For example, wearing a superhero costume can boost confidence and make people feel stronger; women perform better on a math test in a sweater than in a swimsuit; and a white coat gives people more “mental agility.”\\nFocus on wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable, such as a nice soft sweater, your favorite jeans, and a suit and tie (or something else professional looking).\\nExamine your wardrobe and make sure your clothes fit your style. If they don’t, you may need to go shopping! If you dislike shopping in public or don’t know what is in style, consider a service that selects clothes for you and sends them to your house or find an online retailer with an easy free return policy.\\nWear colors that you like. Doing so will help boost your mood. If you can’t decide on a color you like, a good go-to color is blue because people general respond positively to it.\\n1-2. Wear clothes that accentuate the physical features you like.\\nFind outfits that will look good to you when you look in a mirror because they match your body type or include accessories that show off your good features. There is no perfect body type, but there are good and bad clothes for particular body types. Clothes that fit because they match your type are more likely to look good on you.\\nIf you are very skinny, avoid wearing dark colors, such as black, which are slimming. Wear lighter colors instead. Slim women should try to create some curve by belting a flowing dress in the center. Thin men should avoid wearing large or baggy clothing to add the appearance of bulk; dressing in the appropriate size will look better.\\nIf you have broad shoulders and narrow hips, avoid scarves with patterns (calling attention to your shoulders), shirts that accentuate your shoulders, and footwear that looks small for your body type, but do wear pants that make your hips look bigger and shoes with wider heels or boots with buckles that call attention to your feet.\\nIf your body is pear-shaped, wear bright colors or patterns on top and dark, solid colors on the bottom and avoid horizontal stripes, particularly on the bottom.\\nIf you have a round body type, avoid too much fabric in the middle of your body, belts, and skirts less than knee-length, but do wear details above your bust line and below your hipline.\\nIf you have a curvy body shape, try clothing that is skinny at the waist but flowy at the top and bottom. This will accentuate your curves and downplay your legs a bit.\\n1-3. Wear clothes in the appropriate size or have them tailored.\\nWearing clothes that fit you at your current weight and height will make you feel better about the way you look, even if the clothes are not the ideal size you want to be.\\nSpecial order clothes in sizes that actually fit you. If you are a very tall and skinny man, for example, you may need to order Medium Tall sizes online rather than settling for clothing in the store that is too wide and baggy on you because it is the appropriate length.\\nHave clothing tailored for length or width to fit you well. Tailors also know tricks like adding darts (folded sections of fabric that create a flattering shape) to clothing to accentuate positive features such as curves.\\n1-4. Wear the right lipstick.\\nUsing lipstick well means more than just selecting the right color; it also means taking care of your lips as a part of your overall look by exfoliating (eg, with a mixture of salt and almond oil) and applying balm twice a week. For the lipstick itself, makeup artists recommend the following:\\nAvoid lipstick that shimmers and sparkles because it tends to look cheap\\nChoose a bright color based on your lip color (eg, pale lips=cherry lipstick, natural=cranberry, and dark lips=burgundy).\\nChoose a nude color based on your skin tone (choose something slightly brighter or deeper than your skin).\\nAvoid blue or black based shades, as they tend to make you look older, more severe, and yes, even scarier (think vampire).\\nLiner is not necessary, but when you use it, pick a color that matches your lips, not the lipstick.\\nApply lipstick carefully then smudge the border slightly for a softer effect.\\nApply starting in the center and then blend the color towards the corners, careful not to apply directly to the corners of your mouth.\\nApply strong lipstick shades to the bottom lip and then press your lips together for a lighter application.\\nApply lipstick once, blot your lips on a tissue, and apply again for a longer lasting effect.\\n1-5. Apply make-up based on your face shape.\\nAlthough makeup is not for everyone, those who use makeup can improve their self-image by becoming more educated on how to use makeup to improve their confidence in their looks. Just as with clothes, the goal is to match your shape (in this case face shape) and direct the eyes to the features you want to accentuate. To determine your face shape, pull your hair back and look in the mirror at your hairline and chin:\\nHeart-shaped faces (broad forehead and pointed chin) should draw focus away from their prominent chin and cheekbones with soft tones on the face and color on the lips.\\nRounded faces (forehead and lower face are the same width) should help add definition using makeup on the cheeks and eyes (eg, using smoky eye shadow).\\nSquare faces (Angular jawbone and hairline) should use soft colors on the skin, mouth, and eyes to soften facial features.\\nOval faces (forehead and lower face are same width with longer sides) should apply blush with horizontal strokes and define their eyes and lips to reduce the length of their face.\\n1-6. Get a good haircut.\\nA great haircut from a stylish salon or respectable barber shop can make you feel more confident about your looks and will give you a more up-to-date, fashionable style. As with makeup, the key to a good hairstyle is to match the shape of your face:\\nHeart-shaped faces should consider bangs and side-parts with chin-length hair that helps to round out the face more.\\nRound faces should consider a center or slightly off-center part and “face-framing layers” that minimize the fullness and create “a more chiseled illusion.”\\nSquare faces should consider “face-framing layers” and a side-part that draws attention to the cheekbones.\\nOval faces should find that most styles work for them as the techniques for other face shapes are meant to make the face look more like oval-shaped faces.\\n1-7. Stay well-groomed.\\nLooking like you thought about your appearance and are taking care of yourself can boost your confidence and can be achieved with a few simple grooming tips:\\nKeep your nails trimmed and shaped neatly (women and men can benefit from this tip). Be sure your nail beds are clean.\\nBrush your teeth several times daily, particularly after meals with tooth-gunk potential.\\nKeep moist wipes and cleansing cloths with you to clean off makeup, sunscreen, and sweat, or just to refresh yourself after a few stressful hours. Make sure to also do a full facial wash every 2 to 3 days to keep your skin clear.\\nUse an anti-aging moisturizer, sun protector, and concealer (to even out skin tone).\\nUse your fingers (as opposed to brushes) to apply makeup and get a better feel (literally) for how much makeup you are applying that can lead to a more natural look.\\nUse press-on nails for a quick manicured look. Even for people who experienced the 80’s, they are more socially acceptable today than you might realize!\\nApply a deodorant or antiperspirant regularly.\\nUse natural oils (eg, avocado, coconut, or almond) to keep your body and hair moisturized.\\n2. Improving your Appearance Self-Esteem\\n2-1. Identify the source of your lack of confidence.\\nFiguring out why you lack confidence can help you target those feelings. Start writing a \\\"self-esteem\\\" journal, where you note when you feel more and less confident about the way you look. After a week or two, look back at your notes and try to find patterns to the way you feel.\\nWere you more confident in any of the following situations: after spending more time grooming or getting ready, if you dressed a certain way, spending time in smaller groups, spending time away from certain individuals, or spending less time on social media or looking at celebrity media?\\nAre there any \\\"bigger\\\" issues, such as your employment status or personal troubles that seem to trigger your feelings of low confidence? Some people turn this type of anxiety towards their self-perception, which may seem easier to deal with than the “bigger” problem of job security or personal problems.\\nIf you don't see any patterns or you're still not sure what is causing your lack of confidence, you may want to try a number of different tips to find what seems to help the most.\\n2-2. Address your body image perception.\\nDr. Vivian Diller has a number of different cognitive-behavioral techniques for improving your confidence in your looks, which she calls “beauty self-esteem.” These techniques focus on evaluating the source of your self-esteem, questioning your negative opinion of your looks, and thinking about ways to think about your looks more positively.\\nFocus on sitting up straight with your chest pushed out while doing the following steps for maximum confidence.\\n2-3. Write down your positive attributes.\\nWrite the 3 things about your looks and the 3 things about your personality that you like the most. Place all 6 items in order of importance and write 1 sentence about each. For example, “I help others. I volunteer every week for a local charity and always call my friends back right away when they need to talk.”\\n2-4. Analyze your positive attributes.\\nNotice where the physical features ranked relative to your personality features; most people rank personality features above physical features, which emphasizes not only that our self-esteem is influenced more about how we feel about our personality but also that others’ opinion of us is likely more influenced about personality too.\\n2-5. List your best features.\\nWrite down the 3 physical features that you think are most appealing to you, using a sentence to describe each one. For example, “My long curly hair - especially just after I leave the hair salon and looks so full and bouncy” or “My broad shoulders, especially when my girlfriend puts her head on my shoulder for comfort.”\\nThis exercise shows that everyone has features they can be proud of. These features can be accentuated by clothing choice.\\n2-6. Look in the mirror.\\nLook at yourself in the mirror and see what thoughts come into your head. Whose words are they: your own or someone else’s? Whose words do they remind you of: a bully’s, a parent’s or a friend’s?\\nQuestion the accuracy of the words in your head: Are your muscles really smaller than most people’s? Are your hips really that big? Are you really that much taller than other people? Do any of those things really matter?\\nThink about how you would talk to a friend. How is it different than your self-talk, and how can you get yourself to think positively about yourself instead of using the critical or negative tone you likely used to begin with?\\nFind what you like about yourself in the mirror and from now on, whenever you look in the mirror, look at this attribute rather any perceived negative attributes you normally focus on.\\n2-7. Be skeptical of the media.\\nRemember that the media portrayal of the body is designed to make you feel bad about yourself because that is what gets you to buy products and new clothes. Not only are the body images portrayed not average, they are often helped by digital enhancement using software like Adobe Photoshop. People who recognize this and are more media savvy often have better self-perceptions.\\n2-8. Work on positive re-framing.\\nIf you find yourself having negative thoughts about the way you look, stop yourself and re-frame it as something positive. For example, if you think your nose is too big, stop and remind yourself that you have a strong, unique profile. If you think you are overweight, think about your awesome curves and plan what lifestyle changes you can make.\\n2-9. Keep a confidence journal.\\nEvery night before you go to sleep, write down 3 positive things about yourself. Then in the morning, read them and add two more. It's okay to repeat what you have said before. The more positive self-thought you have, the better your overall self-esteem will become.\\n2-10. Seek counselling.\\nIf your negative self-perception persists, you may want to consider seeing a therapist. Your thoughts about the way you look may be related to deeper issues that you're not fully aware of, and counselling can help you have a healthier self-esteem in general.\\n3. Improving Your Quality of Life\\n3-1. Choose your friends wisely.\\nPay attention to your friends and how they make you feel. Surround yourself with people who don’t criticize or judge you because it can negatively affect your body image.\\nFriends can even help you work towards your health and fitness goals, which may help you feel more confident in your looks as well. Find a gym partner or a hiking buddy.\\n3-2. Smile and laugh as much as possible.\\nAs easy and obvious as it sounds, smiling, even when you are forced to do it, can lower stress and make you feel better about yourself. Furthermore, people will see you as approachable and trusting.\\n3-3. Exercise regularly.\\nWhether or not exercise actually changes your physical appearance, it can change your perception of yourself, which can lead to increased self esteem. A national survey of physical activity and weight has shown that people who were not satisfied with their body size were less likely to be physically active, regardless of how much they actually weighed. This finding suggests that just being physically active can be related to a better self-image. \\nThe amount of exercise needs to be enough to give you a sense of accomplishment and needs to be regular, but does not need to be any specific type of exercise or be done for any specific amount of time.\\n3-4. Eat a healthy diet.\\nCertain foods, such as those high in carbohydrates and sugar, can cause you to become sluggish and negatively affect your mood. Foods that can improve your mood are those that are low in fat and release their energy slowly. These foods give energy for sustained periods of time and do not carry the risk of weight gain, bloating, and irritability; they can also lead to stronger hair and nails, which can improve your overall self-image.\\nAvoid eating foods that are sugary, fried, or overly processed.\\nEat more nuts and seeds, legumes, and fresh fruits and vegetables, particularly produce with vibrant, rich colors.\\n3-5. Take a compliment.\\nIf you get a compliment, don’t deflect it, take it! If you are uncertain about your looks, it may feel awkward to get compliments and your anxious reaction might be to deflect or down-play the compliment. For example, if someone compliments your shirt, you might tell them it is a hand-me-down that you only wore because all of your other clothes are dirty. This is a reflection of your anxiety about your looks and can make both you and the person who complimented you uncomfortable. Instead, just say thank you and fully enjoy the compliment you earned.\\nTips\\nRemember that what other people think of you doesn't matter. The important is what you, and only you, think of yourself.\\nSaying positive and confident things aloud to yourself can help you feel more confident.\\nIf people say mean things to you, remember that they are only showing the negative side of themselves, and their comment says more about them than about you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having low self-esteem when it comes to your appearance can feel demoralizing and make it harder to focus on enjoying your life. Fortunately, there are things you can do to shut down your inner critic and start feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Keep reading to learn how you can become confident in your looks using proven, expert-recommended tips.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"The clothes you wear can really have an effect on your self-esteem. For example, wearing a superhero costume can boost confidence and make people feel stronger; women perform better on a math test in a sweater than in a swimsuit; and a white coat gives people more “mental agility.”\\nFocus on wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable, such as a nice soft sweater, your favorite jeans, and a suit and tie (or something else professional looking).\\nExamine your wardrobe and make sure your clothes fit your style. If they don’t, you may need to go shopping! If you dislike shopping in public or don’t know what is in style, consider a service that selects clothes for you and sends them to your house or find an online retailer with an easy free return policy.\\nWear colors that you like. Doing so will help boost your mood. If you can’t decide on a color you like, a good go-to color is blue because people general respond positively to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that accentuate the physical features you like.\", \"描述\": \"Find outfits that will look good to you when you look in a mirror because they match your body type or include accessories that show off your good features. There is no perfect body type, but there are good and bad clothes for particular body types. Clothes that fit because they match your type are more likely to look good on you.\\nIf you are very skinny, avoid wearing dark colors, such as black, which are slimming. Wear lighter colors instead. Slim women should try to create some curve by belting a flowing dress in the center. Thin men should avoid wearing large or baggy clothing to add the appearance of bulk; dressing in the appropriate size will look better.\\nIf you have broad shoulders and narrow hips, avoid scarves with patterns (calling attention to your shoulders), shirts that accentuate your shoulders, and footwear that looks small for your body type, but do wear pants that make your hips look bigger and shoes with wider heels or boots with buckles that call attention to your feet.\\nIf your body is pear-shaped, wear bright colors or patterns on top and dark, solid colors on the bottom and avoid horizontal stripes, particularly on the bottom.\\nIf you have a round body type, avoid too much fabric in the middle of your body, belts, and skirts less than knee-length, but do wear details above your bust line and below your hipline.\\nIf you have a curvy body shape, try clothing that is skinny at the waist but flowy at the top and bottom. This will accentuate your curves and downplay your legs a bit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes in the appropriate size or have them tailored.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing clothes that fit you at your current weight and height will make you feel better about the way you look, even if the clothes are not the ideal size you want to be.\\nSpecial order clothes in sizes that actually fit you. If you are a very tall and skinny man, for example, you may need to order Medium Tall sizes online rather than settling for clothing in the store that is too wide and baggy on you because it is the appropriate length.\\nHave clothing tailored for length or width to fit you well. Tailors also know tricks like adding darts (folded sections of fabric that create a flattering shape) to clothing to accentuate positive features such as curves.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear the right lipstick.\", \"描述\": \"Using lipstick well means more than just selecting the right color; it also means taking care of your lips as a part of your overall look by exfoliating (eg, with a mixture of salt and almond oil) and applying balm twice a week. For the lipstick itself, makeup artists recommend the following:\\nAvoid lipstick that shimmers and sparkles because it tends to look cheap\\nChoose a bright color based on your lip color (eg, pale lips=cherry lipstick, natural=cranberry, and dark lips=burgundy).\\nChoose a nude color based on your skin tone (choose something slightly brighter or deeper than your skin).\\nAvoid blue or black based shades, as they tend to make you look older, more severe, and yes, even scarier (think vampire).\\nLiner is not necessary, but when you use it, pick a color that matches your lips, not the lipstick.\\nApply lipstick carefully then smudge the border slightly for a softer effect.\\nApply starting in the center and then blend the color towards the corners, careful not to apply directly to the corners of your mouth.\\nApply strong lipstick shades to the bottom lip and then press your lips together for a lighter application.\\nApply lipstick once, blot your lips on a tissue, and apply again for a longer lasting effect.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apply make-up based on your face shape.\", \"描述\": \"Although makeup is not for everyone, those who use makeup can improve their self-image by becoming more educated on how to use makeup to improve their confidence in their looks. Just as with clothes, the goal is to match your shape (in this case face shape) and direct the eyes to the features you want to accentuate. To determine your face shape, pull your hair back and look in the mirror at your hairline and chin:\\nHeart-shaped faces (broad forehead and pointed chin) should draw focus away from their prominent chin and cheekbones with soft tones on the face and color on the lips.\\nRounded faces (forehead and lower face are the same width) should help add definition using makeup on the cheeks and eyes (eg, using smoky eye shadow).\\nSquare faces (Angular jawbone and hairline) should use soft colors on the skin, mouth, and eyes to soften facial features.\\nOval faces (forehead and lower face are same width with longer sides) should apply blush with horizontal strokes and define their eyes and lips to reduce the length of their face.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get a good haircut.\", \"描述\": \"A great haircut from a stylish salon or respectable barber shop can make you feel more confident about your looks and will give you a more up-to-date, fashionable style. As with makeup, the key to a good hairstyle is to match the shape of your face:\\nHeart-shaped faces should consider bangs and side-parts with chin-length hair that helps to round out the face more.\\nRound faces should consider a center or slightly off-center part and “face-framing layers” that minimize the fullness and create “a more chiseled illusion.”\\nSquare faces should consider “face-framing layers” and a side-part that draws attention to the cheekbones.\\nOval faces should find that most styles work for them as the techniques for other face shapes are meant to make the face look more like oval-shaped faces.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay well-groomed.\", \"描述\": \"Looking like you thought about your appearance and are taking care of yourself can boost your confidence and can be achieved with a few simple grooming tips:\\nKeep your nails trimmed and shaped neatly (women and men can benefit from this tip). Be sure your nail beds are clean.\\nBrush your teeth several times daily, particularly after meals with tooth-gunk potential.\\nKeep moist wipes and cleansing cloths with you to clean off makeup, sunscreen, and sweat, or just to refresh yourself after a few stressful hours. Make sure to also do a full facial wash every 2 to 3 days to keep your skin clear.\\nUse an anti-aging moisturizer, sun protector, and concealer (to even out skin tone).\\nUse your fingers (as opposed to brushes) to apply makeup and get a better feel (literally) for how much makeup you are applying that can lead to a more natural look.\\nUse press-on nails for a quick manicured look. Even for people who experienced the 80’s, they are more socially acceptable today than you might realize!\\nApply a deodorant or antiperspirant regularly.\\nUse natural oils (eg, avocado, coconut, or almond) to keep your body and hair moisturized.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving your Appearance Self-Esteem\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify the source of your lack of confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Figuring out why you lack confidence can help you target those feelings. Start writing a \\\"self-esteem\\\" journal, where you note when you feel more and less confident about the way you look. After a week or two, look back at your notes and try to find patterns to the way you feel.\\nWere you more confident in any of the following situations: after spending more time grooming or getting ready, if you dressed a certain way, spending time in smaller groups, spending time away from certain individuals, or spending less time on social media or looking at celebrity media?\\nAre there any \\\"bigger\\\" issues, such as your employment status or personal troubles that seem to trigger your feelings of low confidence? Some people turn this type of anxiety towards their self-perception, which may seem easier to deal with than the “bigger” problem of job security or personal problems.\\nIf you don't see any patterns or you're still not sure what is causing your lack of confidence, you may want to try a number of different tips to find what seems to help the most.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Address your body image perception.\", \"描述\": \"Dr. Vivian Diller has a number of different cognitive-behavioral techniques for improving your confidence in your looks, which she calls “beauty self-esteem.” These techniques focus on evaluating the source of your self-esteem, questioning your negative opinion of your looks, and thinking about ways to think about your looks more positively.\\nFocus on sitting up straight with your chest pushed out while doing the following steps for maximum confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down your positive attributes.\", \"描述\": \"Write the 3 things about your looks and the 3 things about your personality that you like the most. Place all 6 items in order of importance and write 1 sentence about each. For example, “I help others. I volunteer every week for a local charity and always call my friends back right away when they need to talk.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Analyze your positive attributes.\", \"描述\": \"Notice where the physical features ranked relative to your personality features; most people rank personality features above physical features, which emphasizes not only that our self-esteem is influenced more about how we feel about our personality but also that others’ opinion of us is likely more influenced about personality too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"List your best features.\", \"描述\": \"Write down the 3 physical features that you think are most appealing to you, using a sentence to describe each one. For example, “My long curly hair - especially just after I leave the hair salon and looks so full and bouncy” or “My broad shoulders, especially when my girlfriend puts her head on my shoulder for comfort.”\\nThis exercise shows that everyone has features they can be proud of. These features can be accentuated by clothing choice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Look at yourself in the mirror and see what thoughts come into your head. Whose words are they: your own or someone else’s? Whose words do they remind you of: a bully’s, a parent’s or a friend’s?\\nQuestion the accuracy of the words in your head: Are your muscles really smaller than most people’s? Are your hips really that big? Are you really that much taller than other people? Do any of those things really matter?\\nThink about how you would talk to a friend. How is it different than your self-talk, and how can you get yourself to think positively about yourself instead of using the critical or negative tone you likely used to begin with?\\nFind what you like about yourself in the mirror and from now on, whenever you look in the mirror, look at this attribute rather any perceived negative attributes you normally focus on.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be skeptical of the media.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that the media portrayal of the body is designed to make you feel bad about yourself because that is what gets you to buy products and new clothes. Not only are the body images portrayed not average, they are often helped by digital enhancement using software like Adobe Photoshop. People who recognize this and are more media savvy often have better self-perceptions.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Work on positive re-framing.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself having negative thoughts about the way you look, stop yourself and re-frame it as something positive. For example, if you think your nose is too big, stop and remind yourself that you have a strong, unique profile. If you think you are overweight, think about your awesome curves and plan what lifestyle changes you can make.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep a confidence journal.\", \"描述\": \"Every night before you go to sleep, write down 3 positive things about yourself. Then in the morning, read them and add two more. It's okay to repeat what you have said before. The more positive self-thought you have, the better your overall self-esteem will become.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Seek counselling.\", \"描述\": \"If your negative self-perception persists, you may want to consider seeing a therapist. Your thoughts about the way you look may be related to deeper issues that you're not fully aware of, and counselling can help you have a healthier self-esteem in general.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Quality of Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose your friends wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to your friends and how they make you feel. Surround yourself with people who don’t criticize or judge you because it can negatively affect your body image.\\nFriends can even help you work towards your health and fitness goals, which may help you feel more confident in your looks as well. Find a gym partner or a hiking buddy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile and laugh as much as possible.\", \"描述\": \"As easy and obvious as it sounds, smiling, even when you are forced to do it, can lower stress and make you feel better about yourself. Furthermore, people will see you as approachable and trusting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Whether or not exercise actually changes your physical appearance, it can change your perception of yourself, which can lead to increased self esteem. A national survey of physical activity and weight has shown that people who were not satisfied with their body size were less likely to be physically active, regardless of how much they actually weighed. This finding suggests that just being physically active can be related to a better self-image. \\nThe amount of exercise needs to be enough to give you a sense of accomplishment and needs to be regular, but does not need to be any specific type of exercise or be done for any specific amount of time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"描述\": \"Certain foods, such as those high in carbohydrates and sugar, can cause you to become sluggish and negatively affect your mood. Foods that can improve your mood are those that are low in fat and release their energy slowly. These foods give energy for sustained periods of time and do not carry the risk of weight gain, bloating, and irritability; they can also lead to stronger hair and nails, which can improve your overall self-image.\\nAvoid eating foods that are sugary, fried, or overly processed.\\nEat more nuts and seeds, legumes, and fresh fruits and vegetables, particularly produce with vibrant, rich colors.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"If you get a compliment, don’t deflect it, take it! If you are uncertain about your looks, it may feel awkward to get compliments and your anxious reaction might be to deflect or down-play the compliment. For example, if someone compliments your shirt, you might tell them it is a hand-me-down that you only wore because all of your other clothes are dirty. This is a reflection of your anxiety about your looks and can make both you and the person who complimented you uncomfortable. Instead, just say thank you and fully enjoy the compliment you earned.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that what other people think of you doesn't matter. The important is what you, and only you, think of yourself.\\n\", \"Saying positive and confident things aloud to yourself can help you feel more confident.\\n\", \"If people say mean things to you, remember that they are only showing the negative side of themselves, and their comment says more about them than about you.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,640 | How to Be Confident in a Relationship (for Women) | 1. Recognize what you bring to the relationship.
Build your self-esteem by noticing your good qualities.
Traits like kindness, good communication, compassion, and loyalty are all wonderful in a relationship, and it means you’ll be a good partner. Think about these things and write them down so you can remember them later on.
You might also think about how you make your partner feel: loved, happy, or cared for.
2. Silence your inner critic.
We’re usually much harsher on ourselves than anyone else.
If you notice yourself being overly critical of something you did, try to silence that voice. It can be hard to do at first, but it gets easier over time.
When you notice a harsh thought like that, try saying something like, “That’s not helpful right now” to yourself. It can banish the thought and stop it in its tracks.
3. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.
You can improve your self-esteem by repeating mantras.
Every morning, look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful, powerful, and confident. Although it might feel silly now, it will help you become confident in every aspect of your life. Some good affirmations include:
“I am good.”
“I love myself.”
“My partner is lucky to have me.”
“I am enough.”
4. Accept yourself for who you are.
You don’t need to change yourself for a relationship.
Your partner chose you because they like you, not because they want to change you. Remind yourself that you are an awesome person, and you bring a lot to the table.
If there’s anything you want to change about yourself (like being more outgoing or a little funnier), you can definitely work on those things. However, you should do them for yourself, not anyone else.
5. Maintain your friendships and your hobbies.
Don’t dedicate all of your time to your relationship.
Losing yourself in a relationship can cause you to feel insecure and uncertain about it. While it’s fine to dedicate time to your partner, make sure you’re still keeping up with your friends and the things you like to do for fun.
Spending time away from your partner can actually be good for your relationship. When you spend time apart, you have a chance to miss each other.
6. Practice self care.
Do something every day that makes you feel good.
You might soak in a bubble bath, paint your nails, read a good book, or head out into nature. The more you can pamper yourself and destress, the better you’ll feel overall.
If it makes you feel more confident, you can also spend time on your appearance. When you look good, you feel good, too.
7. Remember the times you’ve been complete without a partner.
You’ve been single before, and you still remained a whole person.
There’s a myth that we all need someone to be complete, but that’s not the case. Remember that you can survive on your own, even if you don't have a partner.
Keeping this in mind can help you rely on yourself more and maintain your confidence.
8. Open up to your partner.
Be vulnerable with them to create a stronger connection.
When you let your guard down and tell your partner about yourself, you’re building a solid foundation for your relationship. Try to open up about your own hopes, dreams, and fears to feel confident that your partner knows who you are.
You don’t have to open up all at once, but it’s nice to gradually let your partner in a little bit at a time.
9. Set boundaries with your partner.
Let them know what you’re okay with and what you aren’t.
For instance, maybe you don’t appreciate it when your partner spends time with an ex or texts other women. If you two can discuss what you both want out of your relationship, you’re more likely to feel comfortable and confident.
Keep your expectations reasonable, though. For instance, you shouldn’t expect access to your partner’s phone 24/7, since that’s an invasion of privacy.
Your partner might also have some boundaries they’d like to talk about as well.
Tips
If you’re having trouble maintaining your confidence, talking to a mental health professional might be helpful.[11]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Recognize what you bring to the relationship.\\nBuild your self-esteem by noticing your good qualities.\\nTraits like kindness, good communication, compassion, and loyalty are all wonderful in a relationship, and it means you’ll be a good partner. Think about these things and write them down so you can remember them later on.\\nYou might also think about how you make your partner feel: loved, happy, or cared for.\\n2. Silence your inner critic.\\nWe’re usually much harsher on ourselves than anyone else.\\nIf you notice yourself being overly critical of something you did, try to silence that voice. It can be hard to do at first, but it gets easier over time.\\nWhen you notice a harsh thought like that, try saying something like, “That’s not helpful right now” to yourself. It can banish the thought and stop it in its tracks.\\n3. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.\\nYou can improve your self-esteem by repeating mantras.\\nEvery morning, look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful, powerful, and confident. Although it might feel silly now, it will help you become confident in every aspect of your life. Some good affirmations include:\\n“I am good.”\\n“I love myself.”\\n“My partner is lucky to have me.”\\n“I am enough.”\\n4. Accept yourself for who you are.\\nYou don’t need to change yourself for a relationship.\\nYour partner chose you because they like you, not because they want to change you. Remind yourself that you are an awesome person, and you bring a lot to the table.\\nIf there’s anything you want to change about yourself (like being more outgoing or a little funnier), you can definitely work on those things. However, you should do them for yourself, not anyone else.\\n5. Maintain your friendships and your hobbies.\\nDon’t dedicate all of your time to your relationship.\\nLosing yourself in a relationship can cause you to feel insecure and uncertain about it. While it’s fine to dedicate time to your partner, make sure you’re still keeping up with your friends and the things you like to do for fun.\\nSpending time away from your partner can actually be good for your relationship. When you spend time apart, you have a chance to miss each other.\\n6. Practice self care.\\nDo something every day that makes you feel good.\\nYou might soak in a bubble bath, paint your nails, read a good book, or head out into nature. The more you can pamper yourself and destress, the better you’ll feel overall.\\nIf it makes you feel more confident, you can also spend time on your appearance. When you look good, you feel good, too.\\n7. Remember the times you’ve been complete without a partner.\\nYou’ve been single before, and you still remained a whole person.\\nThere’s a myth that we all need someone to be complete, but that’s not the case. Remember that you can survive on your own, even if you don't have a partner.\\nKeeping this in mind can help you rely on yourself more and maintain your confidence.\\n8. Open up to your partner.\\nBe vulnerable with them to create a stronger connection.\\nWhen you let your guard down and tell your partner about yourself, you’re building a solid foundation for your relationship. Try to open up about your own hopes, dreams, and fears to feel confident that your partner knows who you are.\\nYou don’t have to open up all at once, but it’s nice to gradually let your partner in a little bit at a time.\\n9. Set boundaries with your partner.\\nLet them know what you’re okay with and what you aren’t.\\nFor instance, maybe you don’t appreciate it when your partner spends time with an ex or texts other women. If you two can discuss what you both want out of your relationship, you’re more likely to feel comfortable and confident.\\nKeep your expectations reasonable, though. For instance, you shouldn’t expect access to your partner’s phone 24/7, since that’s an invasion of privacy.\\nYour partner might also have some boundaries they’d like to talk about as well.\\nTips\\nIf you’re having trouble maintaining your confidence, talking to a mental health professional might be helpful.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being in a relationship is both fun and exciting, but it can also bring about feelings of unease or insecurity. When you’re confident in your relationship, you’re more likely to feel happy and fulfilled overall. Keep reading to learn how you can boost your self-esteem and maintain your confidence, even while you’re in a relationship. This article is based on an interview with our international dating coach and matchmaker, Laura Bilotta, founder of Single in the City. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize what you bring to the relationship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build your self-esteem by noticing your good qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Traits like kindness, good communication, compassion, and loyalty are all wonderful in a relationship, and it means you’ll be a good partner. Think about these things and write them down so you can remember them later on.\\nYou might also think about how you make your partner feel: loved, happy, or cared for.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Silence your inner critic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"We’re usually much harsher on ourselves than anyone else.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice yourself being overly critical of something you did, try to silence that voice. It can be hard to do at first, but it gets easier over time.\\nWhen you notice a harsh thought like that, try saying something like, “That’s not helpful right now” to yourself. It can banish the thought and stop it in its tracks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can improve your self-esteem by repeating mantras.\", \"描述\": \"Every morning, look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful, powerful, and confident. Although it might feel silly now, it will help you become confident in every aspect of your life. Some good affirmations include:\\n“I am good.”\\n“I love myself.”\\n“My partner is lucky to have me.”\\n“I am enough.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept yourself for who you are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t need to change yourself for a relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Your partner chose you because they like you, not because they want to change you. Remind yourself that you are an awesome person, and you bring a lot to the table.\\nIf there’s anything you want to change about yourself (like being more outgoing or a little funnier), you can definitely work on those things. However, you should do them for yourself, not anyone else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain your friendships and your hobbies.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t dedicate all of your time to your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Losing yourself in a relationship can cause you to feel insecure and uncertain about it. While it’s fine to dedicate time to your partner, make sure you’re still keeping up with your friends and the things you like to do for fun.\\nSpending time away from your partner can actually be good for your relationship. When you spend time apart, you have a chance to miss each other.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice self care.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do something every day that makes you feel good.\", \"描述\": \"You might soak in a bubble bath, paint your nails, read a good book, or head out into nature. The more you can pamper yourself and destress, the better you’ll feel overall.\\nIf it makes you feel more confident, you can also spend time on your appearance. When you look good, you feel good, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remember the times you’ve been complete without a partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ve been single before, and you still remained a whole person.\", \"描述\": \"There’s a myth that we all need someone to be complete, but that’s not the case. Remember that you can survive on your own, even if you don't have a partner.\\nKeeping this in mind can help you rely on yourself more and maintain your confidence.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Open up to your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be vulnerable with them to create a stronger connection.\", \"描述\": \"When you let your guard down and tell your partner about yourself, you’re building a solid foundation for your relationship. Try to open up about your own hopes, dreams, and fears to feel confident that your partner knows who you are.\\nYou don’t have to open up all at once, but it’s nice to gradually let your partner in a little bit at a time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries with your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know what you’re okay with and what you aren’t.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, maybe you don’t appreciate it when your partner spends time with an ex or texts other women. If you two can discuss what you both want out of your relationship, you’re more likely to feel comfortable and confident.\\nKeep your expectations reasonable, though. For instance, you shouldn’t expect access to your partner’s phone 24/7, since that’s an invasion of privacy.\\nYour partner might also have some boundaries they’d like to talk about as well.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re having trouble maintaining your confidence, talking to a mental health professional might be helpful.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,641 | How to Be Confident in the Locker Room (Girls) | 1. Growing More Confident
1-1. Remember that nobody has the right to make you uncomfortable.
Like you, most locker mates are mostly trying to change as fast as they can without making eye contact with anyone. They aren't looking at you, and they don't think you're looking at them. However, you may run into some girls who stare, make comments, or do other things that make you uncomfortable.
Understand that if someone is making comments about your body or your clothes, they must have something going on. They are probably insecure about their own clothes or body, or maybe they're insecure about something else and this is the only area where they feel dominant.
Don't let anyone bully or intimidate you in the locker room. If someone says something mean, report them.
If another girl is talking about you or other girls in a way that makes you uncomfortable, ask to be moved to a different part of the locker room.
1-2. Take pride in your stuff.
The locker room is a weird moment where you see a lot of other people's stuff. Some of the other girls may have fancy gym clothes or other costly equipment. If you notice yourself feeling self-conscious about your things being old or cheap, take a moment to give them some love.
Remind yourself where you got your things. If your parents bought them for you, give silent thanks for their hard work and love. If it's a hand me down, take pride in your family's thrift.
If you paid for them yourself, take a moment to feel proud of your ability to contribute.
If someone says something critical of your possessions, say "You know what? I like this. My mother bought it for me, and I love her. Plus, it gets the job done."
1-3. Love your body
You're a human with a human body, and you have nothing to hide. With this in mind, you are going to look different from other girls who share the locker room. Everyone's body develops at different rates—you may look younger or older than other girls, or be bigger or smaller.
You'll keep changing as you grow. Don't think that this moment will last forever.
Some differences will remain, but you'll feel differently about them as you age.
For now, remind yourself that you are perfect, and anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise has a problem.
1-4. Get a sense of humor.
Dressing in a locker room is a total comedy situation. Everyone's shy and awkward. Stupid things can go wrong. It's undignified and silly. If something happens that embarrasses you, just roll your eyes and say "Only in the locker room."
1-5. Try not to compare yourself to others.
It's easy to feel like you have to compete with all the girls around you. You can get addicted to comparing your body to the bodies around you, tallying up your flaws and their flaws. Practice turning that critical voice off. When you look at another girl, try to appreciate her for herself. Instead of thinking "Well she has a crooked nose but her eyes are very dark and lovely," correct it to "She has dark eyes and they set off her very bright smile."
Practice seeing something lovely about everyone you look at.
Remind yourself that everyone is beautiful.
Beauty standards are arbitrary and always changing. They have nothing to do with the beauty of an individual.
1-6. Affirm yourself.
Look in the mirror every time you enter the locker room and name one thing you love and that matters to you. Spend a moment primping after you get dressed so that you can see your own face. You might say silently "I have clearly spent a lot of time in the sun because I'm very active and I love being outside," or "My nose is just like my mother's nose; what a cute family nose."
Remind yourself of your values. Look in the mirror when you get into the locker room and think of something that is important to you. Think "It's important to me that I get through the day without losing my temper, because I'm learning self-control," or "I'm a good friend and my friends are good to me."
1-7. Ask yourself questions.
If you are depressed, you may have a deep inner belief that you are ugly and worthless. A lot of people think this about themselves. When you believe this, positive self-talk doesn't really work.
If you feel ugly and worthless, ask yourself questions instead of making positive statements. If you have a negative thought, ask it as a detailed question instead. Instead of saying "I look shabby," ask "Am I shabbily dressed?"
Then come up with a reasonable answer, the kind a friend might give you. You may answer "I am wearing an old shirt, but I look tidy altogether."
1-8. Enjoy yourself.
Locker room time is practically free time. It's a moment where you get to chat with your friends without a teacher frowning at you. You can catch up on the day, complain about homework, and make plans for after school.
If you get to keep your locker day to day, decorate it! Put up some magnets, posters or pictures.
2. Dressing Confidently
2-1. Dress discretely.
If you'd like to avoid the awkwardness of being seen in your underwear, drape a towel or a hoodie over your shoulders as you change. You can shuffle your clothing on underneath it. Another option is to put a billowy dress or skirt on first, and do the rest of your changing underneath it.
You may find that dressing this way makes you feel more self-conscious. In that case, just change quickly and don't worry about being seen.
Try starting with this method and gradually weaning yourself off it as you grow more confident.
2-2. Wear underwear that covers you.
If you are shy about your body, pick underwear that covers you. Make sure it fits properly, without squeezing or rolling.
If you don't yet wear bras, you might like a training bra, sports bra, or undershirt.
Consider underwear that covers more, like boyshorts.
Go for stylish underwear that makes you feel "dressed" even when you're not! Consider underwear with your favorite cartoon characters, or in fun patterns. If your underwear is awesome, you may feel more confident.
2-3. Keep track of your period.
If you get your period, keep a calendar or an app that reminds you when it's coming. That way, you won't worry about getting it unexpectedly. When your period is approaching, wear underwear that hides blood, such as black underwear or underwear with a dark pattern.
You can buy underwear with built in pads that absorb your period from brands such as Thinx or Luna.
Consider using tampons or a menstrual cup instead of pads if you're worried about pads showing.
2-4. Bring a swimsuit.
If you have to shower after gym, see if you can bring a swimsuit to shower in. Just make sure you have a place to hang it out to dry, or a plastic bag to keep it in so it doesn't get your other things wet.
2-5. Wear whatever you want.
Ultimately, nobody should be looking at you in the locker room. If somebody is, they are probably dealing with issues that have nothing to do with you. Wear clothing that helps you feel happy and comfortable.
3. Feeling Safe
3-1. Get a locker next to friends.
If you're changing with people you feel comfortable around, you'll feel more confident. If you have the chance to choose your own changing space, ask your friends to set up near you.
3-2. Make friends with the girls nearby.
If you don't get to choose your own locker, just make friends with the girls next to you! Say hello, make eye contact, and smile when they come up. That way, you'll create a friendly environment where you have to change.
Initiate conversation while everyone is still clothed! They may be shy about talking while dressing.
Once you know each other better, you can chat while you change.
3-3. Calm down.
If you get nervous in the locker room, calm yourself down. Do this by paying attention to your breathing. Take a slow deep breath. Check in with your body: how are your hands? Your arms? What position are they in? Relax them. Try wiggling each finger slowly, once each.
Say how you feel silently to yourself: "I am nervous because I have to change in the locker room."
Accept that you feel nervous.
Try taking a deep breath and then counting down from 10 to 0.
Think your own name and give yourself a command. Say "Devon, you're nervous, but you're fine. Put your dang shorts on."
3-4. Change at the same time as others do.
You may feel more confident if everyone is changing at the same time. Remind yourself: "We're all doing the same thing." You can be confident that you aren't standing out if you're doing the same embarrassing thing everyone else is doing.
3-5. Get permission to change separately.
In some circumstances, it's worth asking for permission to change privately. Talk to your parents about getting permission to change in a private room in these cases.
If you have PTSD from a related traumatic experience.
If you are being badly bullied by one or more of your classmates.
If you have a physical difference that you really want to keep private, such as a difference of sex development or gender expression.
If there is someone you feel uncomfortable around who changes in the locker room.
3-6. Report misbehavior.
If another student behaves badly with you in the locker room—if they stare, or make comments, or take your things—report them to your gym teacher immediately.
If anyone touches you or makes a comment about your body, your sexual orientation, or your sexual activity while you're changing, that's sexual harassment.
If they continue to harass you, ask that their locker be moved to another side of the locker room.
Report to the principal if the harassment continues or if your gym teacher is not helpful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Growing More Confident\\n1-1. Remember that nobody has the right to make you uncomfortable.\\nLike you, most locker mates are mostly trying to change as fast as they can without making eye contact with anyone. They aren't looking at you, and they don't think you're looking at them. However, you may run into some girls who stare, make comments, or do other things that make you uncomfortable.\\nUnderstand that if someone is making comments about your body or your clothes, they must have something going on. They are probably insecure about their own clothes or body, or maybe they're insecure about something else and this is the only area where they feel dominant.\\nDon't let anyone bully or intimidate you in the locker room. If someone says something mean, report them.\\nIf another girl is talking about you or other girls in a way that makes you uncomfortable, ask to be moved to a different part of the locker room.\\n1-2. Take pride in your stuff.\\nThe locker room is a weird moment where you see a lot of other people's stuff. Some of the other girls may have fancy gym clothes or other costly equipment. If you notice yourself feeling self-conscious about your things being old or cheap, take a moment to give them some love.\\nRemind yourself where you got your things. If your parents bought them for you, give silent thanks for their hard work and love. If it's a hand me down, take pride in your family's thrift.\\nIf you paid for them yourself, take a moment to feel proud of your ability to contribute.\\nIf someone says something critical of your possessions, say \\\"You know what? I like this. My mother bought it for me, and I love her. Plus, it gets the job done.\\\"\\n1-3. Love your body\\nYou're a human with a human body, and you have nothing to hide. With this in mind, you are going to look different from other girls who share the locker room. Everyone's body develops at different rates—you may look younger or older than other girls, or be bigger or smaller.\\nYou'll keep changing as you grow. Don't think that this moment will last forever.\\nSome differences will remain, but you'll feel differently about them as you age.\\nFor now, remind yourself that you are perfect, and anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise has a problem.\\n1-4. Get a sense of humor.\\nDressing in a locker room is a total comedy situation. Everyone's shy and awkward. Stupid things can go wrong. It's undignified and silly. If something happens that embarrasses you, just roll your eyes and say \\\"Only in the locker room.\\\"\\n1-5. Try not to compare yourself to others.\\nIt's easy to feel like you have to compete with all the girls around you. You can get addicted to comparing your body to the bodies around you, tallying up your flaws and their flaws. Practice turning that critical voice off. When you look at another girl, try to appreciate her for herself. Instead of thinking \\\"Well she has a crooked nose but her eyes are very dark and lovely,\\\" correct it to \\\"She has dark eyes and they set off her very bright smile.\\\"\\nPractice seeing something lovely about everyone you look at.\\nRemind yourself that everyone is beautiful.\\nBeauty standards are arbitrary and always changing. They have nothing to do with the beauty of an individual.\\n1-6. Affirm yourself.\\nLook in the mirror every time you enter the locker room and name one thing you love and that matters to you. Spend a moment primping after you get dressed so that you can see your own face. You might say silently \\\"I have clearly spent a lot of time in the sun because I'm very active and I love being outside,\\\" or \\\"My nose is just like my mother's nose; what a cute family nose.\\\"\\nRemind yourself of your values. Look in the mirror when you get into the locker room and think of something that is important to you. Think \\\"It's important to me that I get through the day without losing my temper, because I'm learning self-control,\\\" or \\\"I'm a good friend and my friends are good to me.\\\"\\n1-7. Ask yourself questions.\\nIf you are depressed, you may have a deep inner belief that you are ugly and worthless. A lot of people think this about themselves. When you believe this, positive self-talk doesn't really work. \\nIf you feel ugly and worthless, ask yourself questions instead of making positive statements. If you have a negative thought, ask it as a detailed question instead. Instead of saying \\\"I look shabby,\\\" ask \\\"Am I shabbily dressed?\\\"\\nThen come up with a reasonable answer, the kind a friend might give you. You may answer \\\"I am wearing an old shirt, but I look tidy altogether.\\\"\\n1-8. Enjoy yourself.\\nLocker room time is practically free time. It's a moment where you get to chat with your friends without a teacher frowning at you. You can catch up on the day, complain about homework, and make plans for after school.\\nIf you get to keep your locker day to day, decorate it! Put up some magnets, posters or pictures.\\n2. Dressing Confidently\\n2-1. Dress discretely.\\nIf you'd like to avoid the awkwardness of being seen in your underwear, drape a towel or a hoodie over your shoulders as you change. You can shuffle your clothing on underneath it. Another option is to put a billowy dress or skirt on first, and do the rest of your changing underneath it.\\nYou may find that dressing this way makes you feel more self-conscious. In that case, just change quickly and don't worry about being seen.\\nTry starting with this method and gradually weaning yourself off it as you grow more confident.\\n2-2. Wear underwear that covers you.\\nIf you are shy about your body, pick underwear that covers you. Make sure it fits properly, without squeezing or rolling.\\nIf you don't yet wear bras, you might like a training bra, sports bra, or undershirt.\\nConsider underwear that covers more, like boyshorts.\\nGo for stylish underwear that makes you feel \\\"dressed\\\" even when you're not! Consider underwear with your favorite cartoon characters, or in fun patterns. If your underwear is awesome, you may feel more confident.\\n2-3. Keep track of your period.\\nIf you get your period, keep a calendar or an app that reminds you when it's coming. That way, you won't worry about getting it unexpectedly. When your period is approaching, wear underwear that hides blood, such as black underwear or underwear with a dark pattern.\\nYou can buy underwear with built in pads that absorb your period from brands such as Thinx or Luna.\\nConsider using tampons or a menstrual cup instead of pads if you're worried about pads showing.\\n2-4. Bring a swimsuit.\\nIf you have to shower after gym, see if you can bring a swimsuit to shower in. Just make sure you have a place to hang it out to dry, or a plastic bag to keep it in so it doesn't get your other things wet.\\n2-5. Wear whatever you want.\\nUltimately, nobody should be looking at you in the locker room. If somebody is, they are probably dealing with issues that have nothing to do with you. Wear clothing that helps you feel happy and comfortable.\\n3. Feeling Safe\\n3-1. Get a locker next to friends.\\nIf you're changing with people you feel comfortable around, you'll feel more confident. If you have the chance to choose your own changing space, ask your friends to set up near you.\\n3-2. Make friends with the girls nearby.\\nIf you don't get to choose your own locker, just make friends with the girls next to you! Say hello, make eye contact, and smile when they come up. That way, you'll create a friendly environment where you have to change.\\nInitiate conversation while everyone is still clothed! They may be shy about talking while dressing.\\nOnce you know each other better, you can chat while you change.\\n3-3. Calm down.\\nIf you get nervous in the locker room, calm yourself down. Do this by paying attention to your breathing. Take a slow deep breath. Check in with your body: how are your hands? Your arms? What position are they in? Relax them. Try wiggling each finger slowly, once each.\\nSay how you feel silently to yourself: \\\"I am nervous because I have to change in the locker room.\\\"\\nAccept that you feel nervous.\\nTry taking a deep breath and then counting down from 10 to 0.\\nThink your own name and give yourself a command. Say \\\"Devon, you're nervous, but you're fine. Put your dang shorts on.\\\"\\n3-4. Change at the same time as others do.\\nYou may feel more confident if everyone is changing at the same time. Remind yourself: \\\"We're all doing the same thing.\\\" You can be confident that you aren't standing out if you're doing the same embarrassing thing everyone else is doing.\\n3-5. Get permission to change separately.\\nIn some circumstances, it's worth asking for permission to change privately. Talk to your parents about getting permission to change in a private room in these cases.\\nIf you have PTSD from a related traumatic experience.\\nIf you are being badly bullied by one or more of your classmates.\\nIf you have a physical difference that you really want to keep private, such as a difference of sex development or gender expression.\\nIf there is someone you feel uncomfortable around who changes in the locker room.\\n3-6. Report misbehavior.\\nIf another student behaves badly with you in the locker room—if they stare, or make comments, or take your things—report them to your gym teacher immediately.\\nIf anyone touches you or makes a comment about your body, your sexual orientation, or your sexual activity while you're changing, that's sexual harassment.\\nIf they continue to harass you, ask that their locker be moved to another side of the locker room.\\nReport to the principal if the harassment continues or if your gym teacher is not helpful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Changing in the locker room can be a drag—but with confidence and a sense of humor, you won't even notice you're changing. Try to think of locker room time as semi-free time. You can chat with your friends or just have a minute to reflect on your day so far. You may feel nervous, but that's okay.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Growing More Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that nobody has the right to make you uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Like you, most locker mates are mostly trying to change as fast as they can without making eye contact with anyone. They aren't looking at you, and they don't think you're looking at them. However, you may run into some girls who stare, make comments, or do other things that make you uncomfortable.\\nUnderstand that if someone is making comments about your body or your clothes, they must have something going on. They are probably insecure about their own clothes or body, or maybe they're insecure about something else and this is the only area where they feel dominant.\\nDon't let anyone bully or intimidate you in the locker room. If someone says something mean, report them.\\nIf another girl is talking about you or other girls in a way that makes you uncomfortable, ask to be moved to a different part of the locker room.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take pride in your stuff.\", \"描述\": \"The locker room is a weird moment where you see a lot of other people's stuff. Some of the other girls may have fancy gym clothes or other costly equipment. If you notice yourself feeling self-conscious about your things being old or cheap, take a moment to give them some love.\\nRemind yourself where you got your things. If your parents bought them for you, give silent thanks for their hard work and love. If it's a hand me down, take pride in your family's thrift.\\nIf you paid for them yourself, take a moment to feel proud of your ability to contribute.\\nIf someone says something critical of your possessions, say \\\"You know what? I like this. My mother bought it for me, and I love her. Plus, it gets the job done.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Love your body\", \"描述\": \"You're a human with a human body, and you have nothing to hide. With this in mind, you are going to look different from other girls who share the locker room. Everyone's body develops at different rates—you may look younger or older than other girls, or be bigger or smaller.\\nYou'll keep changing as you grow. Don't think that this moment will last forever.\\nSome differences will remain, but you'll feel differently about them as you age.\\nFor now, remind yourself that you are perfect, and anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise has a problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing in a locker room is a total comedy situation. Everyone's shy and awkward. Stupid things can go wrong. It's undignified and silly. If something happens that embarrasses you, just roll your eyes and say \\\"Only in the locker room.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try not to compare yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to feel like you have to compete with all the girls around you. You can get addicted to comparing your body to the bodies around you, tallying up your flaws and their flaws. Practice turning that critical voice off. When you look at another girl, try to appreciate her for herself. Instead of thinking \\\"Well she has a crooked nose but her eyes are very dark and lovely,\\\" correct it to \\\"She has dark eyes and they set off her very bright smile.\\\"\\nPractice seeing something lovely about everyone you look at.\\nRemind yourself that everyone is beautiful.\\nBeauty standards are arbitrary and always changing. They have nothing to do with the beauty of an individual.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Affirm yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Look in the mirror every time you enter the locker room and name one thing you love and that matters to you. Spend a moment primping after you get dressed so that you can see your own face. You might say silently \\\"I have clearly spent a lot of time in the sun because I'm very active and I love being outside,\\\" or \\\"My nose is just like my mother's nose; what a cute family nose.\\\"\\nRemind yourself of your values. Look in the mirror when you get into the locker room and think of something that is important to you. Think \\\"It's important to me that I get through the day without losing my temper, because I'm learning self-control,\\\" or \\\"I'm a good friend and my friends are good to me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself questions.\", \"描述\": \"If you are depressed, you may have a deep inner belief that you are ugly and worthless. A lot of people think this about themselves. When you believe this, positive self-talk doesn't really work. \\nIf you feel ugly and worthless, ask yourself questions instead of making positive statements. If you have a negative thought, ask it as a detailed question instead. Instead of saying \\\"I look shabby,\\\" ask \\\"Am I shabbily dressed?\\\"\\nThen come up with a reasonable answer, the kind a friend might give you. You may answer \\\"I am wearing an old shirt, but I look tidy altogether.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enjoy yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Locker room time is practically free time. It's a moment where you get to chat with your friends without a teacher frowning at you. You can catch up on the day, complain about homework, and make plans for after school.\\nIf you get to keep your locker day to day, decorate it! Put up some magnets, posters or pictures.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing Confidently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress discretely.\", \"描述\": \"If you'd like to avoid the awkwardness of being seen in your underwear, drape a towel or a hoodie over your shoulders as you change. You can shuffle your clothing on underneath it. Another option is to put a billowy dress or skirt on first, and do the rest of your changing underneath it.\\nYou may find that dressing this way makes you feel more self-conscious. In that case, just change quickly and don't worry about being seen.\\nTry starting with this method and gradually weaning yourself off it as you grow more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear underwear that covers you.\", \"描述\": \"If you are shy about your body, pick underwear that covers you. Make sure it fits properly, without squeezing or rolling.\\nIf you don't yet wear bras, you might like a training bra, sports bra, or undershirt.\\nConsider underwear that covers more, like boyshorts.\\nGo for stylish underwear that makes you feel \\\"dressed\\\" even when you're not! Consider underwear with your favorite cartoon characters, or in fun patterns. If your underwear is awesome, you may feel more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep track of your period.\", \"描述\": \"If you get your period, keep a calendar or an app that reminds you when it's coming. That way, you won't worry about getting it unexpectedly. When your period is approaching, wear underwear that hides blood, such as black underwear or underwear with a dark pattern.\\nYou can buy underwear with built in pads that absorb your period from brands such as Thinx or Luna.\\nConsider using tampons or a menstrual cup instead of pads if you're worried about pads showing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring a swimsuit.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to shower after gym, see if you can bring a swimsuit to shower in. Just make sure you have a place to hang it out to dry, or a plastic bag to keep it in so it doesn't get your other things wet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear whatever you want.\", \"描述\": \"Ultimately, nobody should be looking at you in the locker room. If somebody is, they are probably dealing with issues that have nothing to do with you. Wear clothing that helps you feel happy and comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feeling Safe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a locker next to friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you're changing with people you feel comfortable around, you'll feel more confident. If you have the chance to choose your own changing space, ask your friends to set up near you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make friends with the girls nearby.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't get to choose your own locker, just make friends with the girls next to you! Say hello, make eye contact, and smile when they come up. That way, you'll create a friendly environment where you have to change.\\nInitiate conversation while everyone is still clothed! They may be shy about talking while dressing.\\nOnce you know each other better, you can chat while you change.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calm down.\", \"描述\": \"If you get nervous in the locker room, calm yourself down. Do this by paying attention to your breathing. Take a slow deep breath. Check in with your body: how are your hands? Your arms? What position are they in? Relax them. Try wiggling each finger slowly, once each.\\nSay how you feel silently to yourself: \\\"I am nervous because I have to change in the locker room.\\\"\\nAccept that you feel nervous.\\nTry taking a deep breath and then counting down from 10 to 0.\\nThink your own name and give yourself a command. Say \\\"Devon, you're nervous, but you're fine. Put your dang shorts on.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Change at the same time as others do.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel more confident if everyone is changing at the same time. Remind yourself: \\\"We're all doing the same thing.\\\" You can be confident that you aren't standing out if you're doing the same embarrassing thing everyone else is doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get permission to change separately.\", \"描述\": \"In some circumstances, it's worth asking for permission to change privately. Talk to your parents about getting permission to change in a private room in these cases.\\nIf you have PTSD from a related traumatic experience.\\nIf you are being badly bullied by one or more of your classmates.\\nIf you have a physical difference that you really want to keep private, such as a difference of sex development or gender expression.\\nIf there is someone you feel uncomfortable around who changes in the locker room.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Report misbehavior.\", \"描述\": \"If another student behaves badly with you in the locker room—if they stare, or make comments, or take your things—report them to your gym teacher immediately.\\nIf anyone touches you or makes a comment about your body, your sexual orientation, or your sexual activity while you're changing, that's sexual harassment.\\nIf they continue to harass you, ask that their locker be moved to another side of the locker room.\\nReport to the principal if the harassment continues or if your gym teacher is not helpful.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,642 | How to Be Confident on Stage | 1. Practicing Your Performance
1-1. Envision your best performance.
Instead of imagining the worst scenario, challenge yourself to think more about how the performance could go well. Remind yourself why you are doing this performance, and why you believe in it. The good feelings will boost your confidence instead of increasing your nerves.
1-2. Practice often before performance day.
Make sure that you know your lines, choreography, music, note cards, anything at all, completely by heart. You can go through everything daily to ensure that you won’t forget a thing. This way you won’t feel nervous about the possibility of forgetting something on stage.
If you're participating in a debate or giving a speech, research the topic of discussion thoroughly. This will increase your knowledge of the subject matter so you can speak confidently without sounding stumped. This is especially crucial if you will answer questions after the speech!
1-3. Record yourself beforehand for pointers.
If you lack confidence because you don’t know how you look on stage, record yourself practicing and watch it back. Now you will have a clear idea of what the audience will see when you go on stage, and you can work on any mistakes you see.
2. Building Your Confidence
2-1. Eliminate all negative thoughts.
If you start telling yourself that you can’t do this, you don’t know what you’re doing, and so on, your confidence will drop dramatically. Anything that you tell yourself regularly, you start to take as reality. This will make you think that you cannot pull off confidence on stage no matter how hard you work.
Put an end to this practice by replacing any negative thoughts with positive ones. It can be as simple as stopping yourself from thinking “I can’t do this” to “I can do this.” Saying positive thoughts out loud to yourself also makes a world of a difference.
2-2. Have your costume or favorite outfit ready to go.
Pick out your outfit the night before so you are not worrying about it the day you go on stage. Choose something that you like and makes you feel secure and confident. If you have a costume, make sure that everything fits perfectly when you go into fittings, and don’t be afraid to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
2-3. Talk to your friends or fellow performers.
Chances are, anyone else that is going on stage with you is lacking confidence as well. Sharing these feelings can help you realize that you are not alone, and it is completely normal to be nervous. You can also tell a trusted friend or family member how you are feeling, and they will most likely share their excitement at seeing you onstage.
2-4. Get plenty of rest.
You don’t want to appear tired for your speech or performance. Allow for your best night’s sleep the night before, whether it means going to bed early or listening to some calming music.
This is especially crucial for dancers! Don’t overdo anything at your dress rehearsal. Coming into a performance with your brain and muscles fatigued can increase your chance of getting an injury.
3. Nailing Your Performance
3-1. Make eye contact with people who look especially interested.
If you feel your confidence beginning to slip but see people nodding in the crowd, don’t be afraid to focus on them. This will remind you that you are doing a great job and people are interested in what you are trying to do or say. If there are no nodding audience members to be found, you can also look at a trusted family member or friend who will support you no matter what happens.
3-2. Maintain a confident posture.
Hunching forward makes you look less confident, and actually hinders your confidence as well. Stand up straight, act like you are balancing a book on your head, and your feelings will quickly improve. You will also make a good impression on the audience and how they see you.
3-3. Keep your voice loud and clear.
This does not mean you need to shout. Just make sure that you are speaking loud enough that everyone in the room can hear. If you have trouble with this, practice in front of a group of friends to test your “public speaking” or “acting” voice.
3-4. Don't rush the performance.
Time can be a tricky thing when you are on stage. Purposefully make yourself start out slow so you can get used to the audience and your place on stage. The audience may have trouble understanding you if you speak too fast.
It helps to keep a timer clock going as you perform, to give you a better sense of how slowly (or quickly) time is actually passing. You can keep it on your podium, or just keep it in your pocket to take out and quickly glance at between subjects.
For dancers, pay attention to the music counts and make that a priority if you feel like you might be rushing. The music determines all of your movements!
3-5. Get the audience laughing, if possible.
If permitted, ask questions, include facts they'll be interested in, and tell short stories relevant to subject matter. This will increase interaction and everyone will loosen up a bit.
3-6. End on a good note so the audience leaves in a happy mood.
Be sure to end the discussion or performance with a wow feeling. If you make a mistake but finish strong, chances are the audience will only remember your amazing ending.
For speakers, you can end with a question that will keep the audience thinking about your speech long after it ends. You can also end with a call to action that reiterates why you are speaking in the first place.
Dancers can act like they just gave the best performance in the world to end on a good note. No matter what happened in the performance itself, smile (if choreography allows), stand up straight with your shoulders back, and give the best finishing pose you’ve got.
Tips
Understand that the people before you get stage fright too. They aren't here to set you up for failure. They want to be there and watch you succeed!
If all else fails, just remember that it is not life-or-death if you mess up something or act all embarrassed. Life will go on.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Your Performance\\n1-1. Envision your best performance.\\nInstead of imagining the worst scenario, challenge yourself to think more about how the performance could go well. Remind yourself why you are doing this performance, and why you believe in it. The good feelings will boost your confidence instead of increasing your nerves.\\n1-2. Practice often before performance day.\\nMake sure that you know your lines, choreography, music, note cards, anything at all, completely by heart. You can go through everything daily to ensure that you won’t forget a thing. This way you won’t feel nervous about the possibility of forgetting something on stage.\\nIf you're participating in a debate or giving a speech, research the topic of discussion thoroughly. This will increase your knowledge of the subject matter so you can speak confidently without sounding stumped. This is especially crucial if you will answer questions after the speech!\\n1-3. Record yourself beforehand for pointers.\\nIf you lack confidence because you don’t know how you look on stage, record yourself practicing and watch it back. Now you will have a clear idea of what the audience will see when you go on stage, and you can work on any mistakes you see.\\n2. Building Your Confidence\\n2-1. Eliminate all negative thoughts.\\nIf you start telling yourself that you can’t do this, you don’t know what you’re doing, and so on, your confidence will drop dramatically. Anything that you tell yourself regularly, you start to take as reality. This will make you think that you cannot pull off confidence on stage no matter how hard you work.\\nPut an end to this practice by replacing any negative thoughts with positive ones. It can be as simple as stopping yourself from thinking “I can’t do this” to “I can do this.” Saying positive thoughts out loud to yourself also makes a world of a difference.\\n2-2. Have your costume or favorite outfit ready to go.\\nPick out your outfit the night before so you are not worrying about it the day you go on stage. Choose something that you like and makes you feel secure and confident. If you have a costume, make sure that everything fits perfectly when you go into fittings, and don’t be afraid to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.\\n2-3. Talk to your friends or fellow performers.\\nChances are, anyone else that is going on stage with you is lacking confidence as well. Sharing these feelings can help you realize that you are not alone, and it is completely normal to be nervous. You can also tell a trusted friend or family member how you are feeling, and they will most likely share their excitement at seeing you onstage.\\n2-4. Get plenty of rest.\\nYou don’t want to appear tired for your speech or performance. Allow for your best night’s sleep the night before, whether it means going to bed early or listening to some calming music.\\nThis is especially crucial for dancers! Don’t overdo anything at your dress rehearsal. Coming into a performance with your brain and muscles fatigued can increase your chance of getting an injury.\\n3. Nailing Your Performance\\n3-1. Make eye contact with people who look especially interested.\\nIf you feel your confidence beginning to slip but see people nodding in the crowd, don’t be afraid to focus on them. This will remind you that you are doing a great job and people are interested in what you are trying to do or say. If there are no nodding audience members to be found, you can also look at a trusted family member or friend who will support you no matter what happens.\\n3-2. Maintain a confident posture.\\nHunching forward makes you look less confident, and actually hinders your confidence as well. Stand up straight, act like you are balancing a book on your head, and your feelings will quickly improve. You will also make a good impression on the audience and how they see you.\\n3-3. Keep your voice loud and clear.\\nThis does not mean you need to shout. Just make sure that you are speaking loud enough that everyone in the room can hear. If you have trouble with this, practice in front of a group of friends to test your “public speaking” or “acting” voice.\\n3-4. Don't rush the performance.\\nTime can be a tricky thing when you are on stage. Purposefully make yourself start out slow so you can get used to the audience and your place on stage. The audience may have trouble understanding you if you speak too fast. \\nIt helps to keep a timer clock going as you perform, to give you a better sense of how slowly (or quickly) time is actually passing. You can keep it on your podium, or just keep it in your pocket to take out and quickly glance at between subjects.\\nFor dancers, pay attention to the music counts and make that a priority if you feel like you might be rushing. The music determines all of your movements!\\n3-5. Get the audience laughing, if possible.\\nIf permitted, ask questions, include facts they'll be interested in, and tell short stories relevant to subject matter. This will increase interaction and everyone will loosen up a bit.\\n3-6. End on a good note so the audience leaves in a happy mood.\\nBe sure to end the discussion or performance with a wow feeling. If you make a mistake but finish strong, chances are the audience will only remember your amazing ending.\\nFor speakers, you can end with a question that will keep the audience thinking about your speech long after it ends. You can also end with a call to action that reiterates why you are speaking in the first place.\\nDancers can act like they just gave the best performance in the world to end on a good note. No matter what happened in the performance itself, smile (if choreography allows), stand up straight with your shoulders back, and give the best finishing pose you’ve got.\\nTips\\nUnderstand that the people before you get stage fright too. They aren't here to set you up for failure. They want to be there and watch you succeed!\\nIf all else fails, just remember that it is not life-or-death if you mess up something or act all embarrassed. Life will go on.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you feel your legs trembling before large audiences? Do you forget everything you memorized for discussion? You are not alone. Lacking confidence on stage is something even the most professional performers can suffer from. However, with good preparation and delivery techniques, you can handle even the biggest of audiences. If you can think it, you can do it!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Performance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Envision your best performance.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of imagining the worst scenario, challenge yourself to think more about how the performance could go well. Remind yourself why you are doing this performance, and why you believe in it. The good feelings will boost your confidence instead of increasing your nerves.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice often before performance day.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you know your lines, choreography, music, note cards, anything at all, completely by heart. You can go through everything daily to ensure that you won’t forget a thing. This way you won’t feel nervous about the possibility of forgetting something on stage.\\nIf you're participating in a debate or giving a speech, research the topic of discussion thoroughly. This will increase your knowledge of the subject matter so you can speak confidently without sounding stumped. This is especially crucial if you will answer questions after the speech!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Record yourself beforehand for pointers.\", \"描述\": \"If you lack confidence because you don’t know how you look on stage, record yourself practicing and watch it back. Now you will have a clear idea of what the audience will see when you go on stage, and you can work on any mistakes you see.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eliminate all negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"If you start telling yourself that you can’t do this, you don’t know what you’re doing, and so on, your confidence will drop dramatically. Anything that you tell yourself regularly, you start to take as reality. This will make you think that you cannot pull off confidence on stage no matter how hard you work.\\nPut an end to this practice by replacing any negative thoughts with positive ones. It can be as simple as stopping yourself from thinking “I can’t do this” to “I can do this.” Saying positive thoughts out loud to yourself also makes a world of a difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have your costume or favorite outfit ready to go.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out your outfit the night before so you are not worrying about it the day you go on stage. Choose something that you like and makes you feel secure and confident. If you have a costume, make sure that everything fits perfectly when you go into fittings, and don’t be afraid to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your friends or fellow performers.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are, anyone else that is going on stage with you is lacking confidence as well. Sharing these feelings can help you realize that you are not alone, and it is completely normal to be nervous. You can also tell a trusted friend or family member how you are feeling, and they will most likely share their excitement at seeing you onstage.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get plenty of rest.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to appear tired for your speech or performance. Allow for your best night’s sleep the night before, whether it means going to bed early or listening to some calming music.\\nThis is especially crucial for dancers! Don’t overdo anything at your dress rehearsal. Coming into a performance with your brain and muscles fatigued can increase your chance of getting an injury.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Nailing Your Performance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact with people who look especially interested.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel your confidence beginning to slip but see people nodding in the crowd, don’t be afraid to focus on them. This will remind you that you are doing a great job and people are interested in what you are trying to do or say. If there are no nodding audience members to be found, you can also look at a trusted family member or friend who will support you no matter what happens.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain a confident posture.\", \"描述\": \"Hunching forward makes you look less confident, and actually hinders your confidence as well. Stand up straight, act like you are balancing a book on your head, and your feelings will quickly improve. You will also make a good impression on the audience and how they see you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your voice loud and clear.\", \"描述\": \"This does not mean you need to shout. Just make sure that you are speaking loud enough that everyone in the room can hear. If you have trouble with this, practice in front of a group of friends to test your “public speaking” or “acting” voice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't rush the performance.\", \"描述\": \"Time can be a tricky thing when you are on stage. Purposefully make yourself start out slow so you can get used to the audience and your place on stage. The audience may have trouble understanding you if you speak too fast. \\nIt helps to keep a timer clock going as you perform, to give you a better sense of how slowly (or quickly) time is actually passing. You can keep it on your podium, or just keep it in your pocket to take out and quickly glance at between subjects.\\nFor dancers, pay attention to the music counts and make that a priority if you feel like you might be rushing. The music determines all of your movements!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get the audience laughing, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If permitted, ask questions, include facts they'll be interested in, and tell short stories relevant to subject matter. This will increase interaction and everyone will loosen up a bit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"End on a good note so the audience leaves in a happy mood.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to end the discussion or performance with a wow feeling. If you make a mistake but finish strong, chances are the audience will only remember your amazing ending.\\nFor speakers, you can end with a question that will keep the audience thinking about your speech long after it ends. You can also end with a call to action that reiterates why you are speaking in the first place.\\nDancers can act like they just gave the best performance in the world to end on a good note. No matter what happened in the performance itself, smile (if choreography allows), stand up straight with your shoulders back, and give the best finishing pose you’ve got.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Understand that the people before you get stage fright too. They aren't here to set you up for failure. They want to be there and watch you succeed!\\n\", \"If all else fails, just remember that it is not life-or-death if you mess up something or act all embarrassed. Life will go on.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,643 | How to Be Confident when Someone Insults You | 1. Coping Immediately
1-1. Take a deep breath.
Designate a moment for yourself to refocus by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Turn your thoughts away from external criticism and back toward yourself. Close your eyes, and focus on breathing slowly and steadily until you feel less overwhelmed.
To keep your mind on your breathing, try inhaling for a count of three, holding your breath for a count of two, and exhaling for a count of three. Repeat as necessary.
1-2. Evaluate the insult.
Take a moment to think critically about what the person said. Is there any truth to it? Is there a reason, such as previous conflict, why this person might want to try to intentionally hurt your feelings?
For those parts of the insult you find to be true, acknowledge that it is ok to be imperfect. Know that all people have flaws, and it is acceptable to evaluate and work on them.
For those parts of the insult that you don’t find true, remind yourself that they are not factual and do not reflect you.
1-3. Avoid returning insults.
It can be tempting to match insult for insult. Ultimately, though, whatever your goal is, be it to get through a presentation or simply to keep enjoying time with friends or family, it is best served by refusing to engage whomever insulted you.
Remind yourself that it ultimately does no good for you to insult someone in return.
Tell yourself, “The best way to upset this person is not to insult them in return, but to let them know their words have no impact on me.” Try to beat them with kindness. Returning kindness for insults would make them realise their mistakes sometimes.
1-4. Regain composure.
Do not be afraid to excuse yourself momentarily, or otherwise pause and calm yourself to regain composure. It is normal to have a negative reaction to an insult, and those around you will understand if you need a moment to collect yourself.
Take a moment to practice deep breathing, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself.
Allow yourself as much time as you need to healthfully work through tears or feelings of anger. Avoid exploding emotionally, and instead give yourself time enough to calm your immediate feelings.
1-5. Laugh it off.
Laughter causes the release of endorphins, a group of hormones that can stimulate happy or euphoric sensations. Take a moment to laugh at yourself, and allow the endorphins to replace that sense of panic with better feelings.
Remind yourself that no one is immune from insults or criticism. Even if you are not laughing at the insult, find some personal imperfection and allow yourself to laugh about it.
Try a “fake it ‘til you make it” approach. Even if it doesn’t seem funny, laugh at yourself in difficult moments. With time, it will get more sincere.
2. Building Long-Term Confidence
2-1. Learn to accept insults.
You do not have to agree with what a person says, but learning to accept an insult takes more confidence than near any other response. It shows that if the insult comes from someone you care about, you are willing to consider their point. If it comes from someone you don’t care about, it shows that they don’t impact you.
Practice accepting insults by going over past criticisms you have received. Say to yourself something like, “You’re not that great.” Then, practice accepting by saying, “You are right, I am not that great.”
Repeat this exercise until you feel the sting of the insult wear off. It may or may not go away completely, but taking away the initial shock will give you the presence of mind to be able to respond when someone does insult you.
Remember that this exercise is not about conceding their point. Instead, you are building up the confidence to acknowledge their opinion yet be strong enough so as to not let it dominate you.
2-2. Plan for self-improvement.
Take some time to reflect on yourself and look for what you consider your personal weaknesses. Don’t let the insult dictate what you see in yourself, but identify some areas that you want to improve.
Make a list of goals and actions to help you address those weaknesses. For example, if you think you aren’t a great public speaker, your practices might include engaging in more casual conversations, practicing in front of a mirror, or even taking a public speaking class.
When someone does insult you, remind yourself that you are taking steps to improve yourself, and that there is no shame in being a work in progress.
2-3. Choose to move on.
This is easier said than done, but one of the best ways to build confidence long-term when you are faced with insults is to remind yourself that an insult is only effective if you let it hurt you. If you choose to move past the insult quickly and focus self-improvement or already positive aspects about your personality, the insult loses its power.
Practice filling in statements such as, “That doesn’t matter because I’m ______.” Give yourself a reason, based in your positive traits, to dismiss the insult.
For example, if someone insults you by saying, “That was a really bad presentation,” let yourself know, “That doesn’t matter, because I turned in a great report for this project.”
Understand that moving on may take time. View being able to quickly dismiss insults in favor of your own positive traits as a goal rather than an immediate solution.
2-4. Surround yourself with good people.
One way to not only build confidence but also minimize unnecessary criticism is to surround yourself with positive influences. Put time friendships, family relationships, and school or work connections that you find fulfilling and let go of those that you see as a hindrance.
Positive relationships will help you build your confidence by celebrating you when you do well in life and pushing you to reach for positive things. Take inventory of who in your life does this for you.
Look at who is insulting you. If it is a family member or someone who calls themself your friend, consider loosening or leaving your relationship with that person. Let them know, “You constantly criticize me and I do not want that kind of negative force in my life.”
3. Dealing With Repeated Bullies
3-1. Ignore them.
Most bullies are looking for attention. When they insult you and you get upset, you are doing exactly what they hope for. Strip your bully of their power and come of confident and secure by simply ignoring what the bully says.
If a bully interrupts you to insult you while you are speaking, simply continue on without acknowledging what they said at all.
Be consistent. A bully may try to force a reaction out of you by speaking louder, repeating the insult, or being more verbally aggressive. Keep consistent and they may eventually leave the situation.
3-2. Put distance between you and the bully.
Look at your bully whenever they insult you and simply walk away. Do this confidently, smiling and with your head held high, to show them that their insult has does not impact you in the slightest.
If they follow you, keep walking until they leave or you get where you need to go.
Do not go out of your way to avoid your bully. You are allowed to go where you need to for school, work, or your personal life. Walk past your bully confidently to let the know that they do not dominate your actions.
3-3. Let someone know.
If your bully moves from insults to threats of aggression or physical aggression, do not be afraid to let an authority figure know. Involve someone that can help you moderate, or else help protect you from those threats. Know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help dealing with aggression.
Consider talking to your teacher, your boss, or a counselor the moment a bully moves from insults to threats or physical aggression.
If a bully physically attacks you, report it to your office or campus security, or otherwise alert the police immediately. Call as soon as you are able and say, “I need immediate help. I am being physically attacked.”
Tips
You don’t have to feel confident on the inside to act confident. When someone insults you, acting confident is often enough to fool them, and if you do it enough you may be able to fool yourself into new confidence, as well.
Understand that there is a difference between constructive criticism and insults. Criticism may help you address deficiencies in an area where you are otherwise strong, while an insult is meant primarily to hurt you.
If someone insults you, think before you speak - otherwise you may make the situation worse.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping Immediately\\n1-1. Take a deep breath.\\nDesignate a moment for yourself to refocus by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Turn your thoughts away from external criticism and back toward yourself. Close your eyes, and focus on breathing slowly and steadily until you feel less overwhelmed.\\nTo keep your mind on your breathing, try inhaling for a count of three, holding your breath for a count of two, and exhaling for a count of three. Repeat as necessary.\\n1-2. Evaluate the insult.\\nTake a moment to think critically about what the person said. Is there any truth to it? Is there a reason, such as previous conflict, why this person might want to try to intentionally hurt your feelings?\\nFor those parts of the insult you find to be true, acknowledge that it is ok to be imperfect. Know that all people have flaws, and it is acceptable to evaluate and work on them.\\nFor those parts of the insult that you don’t find true, remind yourself that they are not factual and do not reflect you.\\n1-3. Avoid returning insults.\\nIt can be tempting to match insult for insult. Ultimately, though, whatever your goal is, be it to get through a presentation or simply to keep enjoying time with friends or family, it is best served by refusing to engage whomever insulted you.\\nRemind yourself that it ultimately does no good for you to insult someone in return.\\nTell yourself, “The best way to upset this person is not to insult them in return, but to let them know their words have no impact on me.” Try to beat them with kindness. Returning kindness for insults would make them realise their mistakes sometimes.\\n1-4. Regain composure.\\nDo not be afraid to excuse yourself momentarily, or otherwise pause and calm yourself to regain composure. It is normal to have a negative reaction to an insult, and those around you will understand if you need a moment to collect yourself.\\nTake a moment to practice deep breathing, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself.\\nAllow yourself as much time as you need to healthfully work through tears or feelings of anger. Avoid exploding emotionally, and instead give yourself time enough to calm your immediate feelings.\\n1-5. Laugh it off.\\nLaughter causes the release of endorphins, a group of hormones that can stimulate happy or euphoric sensations. Take a moment to laugh at yourself, and allow the endorphins to replace that sense of panic with better feelings.\\nRemind yourself that no one is immune from insults or criticism. Even if you are not laughing at the insult, find some personal imperfection and allow yourself to laugh about it.\\nTry a “fake it ‘til you make it” approach. Even if it doesn’t seem funny, laugh at yourself in difficult moments. With time, it will get more sincere.\\n2. Building Long-Term Confidence\\n2-1. Learn to accept insults.\\nYou do not have to agree with what a person says, but learning to accept an insult takes more confidence than near any other response. It shows that if the insult comes from someone you care about, you are willing to consider their point. If it comes from someone you don’t care about, it shows that they don’t impact you.\\nPractice accepting insults by going over past criticisms you have received. Say to yourself something like, “You’re not that great.” Then, practice accepting by saying, “You are right, I am not that great.”\\nRepeat this exercise until you feel the sting of the insult wear off. It may or may not go away completely, but taking away the initial shock will give you the presence of mind to be able to respond when someone does insult you.\\nRemember that this exercise is not about conceding their point. Instead, you are building up the confidence to acknowledge their opinion yet be strong enough so as to not let it dominate you.\\n2-2. Plan for self-improvement.\\nTake some time to reflect on yourself and look for what you consider your personal weaknesses. Don’t let the insult dictate what you see in yourself, but identify some areas that you want to improve.\\nMake a list of goals and actions to help you address those weaknesses. For example, if you think you aren’t a great public speaker, your practices might include engaging in more casual conversations, practicing in front of a mirror, or even taking a public speaking class.\\nWhen someone does insult you, remind yourself that you are taking steps to improve yourself, and that there is no shame in being a work in progress.\\n2-3. Choose to move on.\\nThis is easier said than done, but one of the best ways to build confidence long-term when you are faced with insults is to remind yourself that an insult is only effective if you let it hurt you. If you choose to move past the insult quickly and focus self-improvement or already positive aspects about your personality, the insult loses its power.\\nPractice filling in statements such as, “That doesn’t matter because I’m ______.” Give yourself a reason, based in your positive traits, to dismiss the insult.\\nFor example, if someone insults you by saying, “That was a really bad presentation,” let yourself know, “That doesn’t matter, because I turned in a great report for this project.”\\nUnderstand that moving on may take time. View being able to quickly dismiss insults in favor of your own positive traits as a goal rather than an immediate solution.\\n2-4. Surround yourself with good people.\\nOne way to not only build confidence but also minimize unnecessary criticism is to surround yourself with positive influences. Put time friendships, family relationships, and school or work connections that you find fulfilling and let go of those that you see as a hindrance.\\nPositive relationships will help you build your confidence by celebrating you when you do well in life and pushing you to reach for positive things. Take inventory of who in your life does this for you.\\nLook at who is insulting you. If it is a family member or someone who calls themself your friend, consider loosening or leaving your relationship with that person. Let them know, “You constantly criticize me and I do not want that kind of negative force in my life.”\\n3. Dealing With Repeated Bullies\\n3-1. Ignore them.\\nMost bullies are looking for attention. When they insult you and you get upset, you are doing exactly what they hope for. Strip your bully of their power and come of confident and secure by simply ignoring what the bully says.\\nIf a bully interrupts you to insult you while you are speaking, simply continue on without acknowledging what they said at all.\\nBe consistent. A bully may try to force a reaction out of you by speaking louder, repeating the insult, or being more verbally aggressive. Keep consistent and they may eventually leave the situation.\\n3-2. Put distance between you and the bully.\\nLook at your bully whenever they insult you and simply walk away. Do this confidently, smiling and with your head held high, to show them that their insult has does not impact you in the slightest.\\nIf they follow you, keep walking until they leave or you get where you need to go.\\nDo not go out of your way to avoid your bully. You are allowed to go where you need to for school, work, or your personal life. Walk past your bully confidently to let the know that they do not dominate your actions.\\n3-3. Let someone know.\\nIf your bully moves from insults to threats of aggression or physical aggression, do not be afraid to let an authority figure know. Involve someone that can help you moderate, or else help protect you from those threats. Know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help dealing with aggression.\\nConsider talking to your teacher, your boss, or a counselor the moment a bully moves from insults to threats or physical aggression.\\nIf a bully physically attacks you, report it to your office or campus security, or otherwise alert the police immediately. Call as soon as you are able and say, “I need immediate help. I am being physically attacked.”\\nTips\\nYou don’t have to feel confident on the inside to act confident. When someone insults you, acting confident is often enough to fool them, and if you do it enough you may be able to fool yourself into new confidence, as well.\\nUnderstand that there is a difference between constructive criticism and insults. Criticism may help you address deficiencies in an area where you are otherwise strong, while an insult is meant primarily to hurt you.\\nIf someone insults you, think before you speak - otherwise you may make the situation worse.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Insults can be hurtful, especially when you do not know how to deal with them. Building and showing your confidence after someone insults you is not always easy, but when you can manage to do so it shows that you are in control of your thoughts and feelings. Practice building confidence in the face of an insult by showing composure immediately thereafter, bolstering your overall confidence in the long-term, and dismissing recurring bullies in your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping Immediately\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath.\", \"描述\": \"Designate a moment for yourself to refocus by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Turn your thoughts away from external criticism and back toward yourself. Close your eyes, and focus on breathing slowly and steadily until you feel less overwhelmed.\\nTo keep your mind on your breathing, try inhaling for a count of three, holding your breath for a count of two, and exhaling for a count of three. Repeat as necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the insult.\", \"描述\": \"Take a moment to think critically about what the person said. Is there any truth to it? Is there a reason, such as previous conflict, why this person might want to try to intentionally hurt your feelings?\\nFor those parts of the insult you find to be true, acknowledge that it is ok to be imperfect. Know that all people have flaws, and it is acceptable to evaluate and work on them.\\nFor those parts of the insult that you don’t find true, remind yourself that they are not factual and do not reflect you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid returning insults.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to match insult for insult. Ultimately, though, whatever your goal is, be it to get through a presentation or simply to keep enjoying time with friends or family, it is best served by refusing to engage whomever insulted you.\\nRemind yourself that it ultimately does no good for you to insult someone in return.\\nTell yourself, “The best way to upset this person is not to insult them in return, but to let them know their words have no impact on me.” Try to beat them with kindness. Returning kindness for insults would make them realise their mistakes sometimes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Regain composure.\", \"描述\": \"Do not be afraid to excuse yourself momentarily, or otherwise pause and calm yourself to regain composure. It is normal to have a negative reaction to an insult, and those around you will understand if you need a moment to collect yourself.\\nTake a moment to practice deep breathing, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself.\\nAllow yourself as much time as you need to healthfully work through tears or feelings of anger. Avoid exploding emotionally, and instead give yourself time enough to calm your immediate feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Laugh it off.\", \"描述\": \"Laughter causes the release of endorphins, a group of hormones that can stimulate happy or euphoric sensations. Take a moment to laugh at yourself, and allow the endorphins to replace that sense of panic with better feelings.\\nRemind yourself that no one is immune from insults or criticism. Even if you are not laughing at the insult, find some personal imperfection and allow yourself to laugh about it.\\nTry a “fake it ‘til you make it” approach. Even if it doesn’t seem funny, laugh at yourself in difficult moments. With time, it will get more sincere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Long-Term Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to accept insults.\", \"描述\": \"You do not have to agree with what a person says, but learning to accept an insult takes more confidence than near any other response. It shows that if the insult comes from someone you care about, you are willing to consider their point. If it comes from someone you don’t care about, it shows that they don’t impact you.\\nPractice accepting insults by going over past criticisms you have received. Say to yourself something like, “You’re not that great.” Then, practice accepting by saying, “You are right, I am not that great.”\\nRepeat this exercise until you feel the sting of the insult wear off. It may or may not go away completely, but taking away the initial shock will give you the presence of mind to be able to respond when someone does insult you.\\nRemember that this exercise is not about conceding their point. Instead, you are building up the confidence to acknowledge their opinion yet be strong enough so as to not let it dominate you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan for self-improvement.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to reflect on yourself and look for what you consider your personal weaknesses. Don’t let the insult dictate what you see in yourself, but identify some areas that you want to improve.\\nMake a list of goals and actions to help you address those weaknesses. For example, if you think you aren’t a great public speaker, your practices might include engaging in more casual conversations, practicing in front of a mirror, or even taking a public speaking class.\\nWhen someone does insult you, remind yourself that you are taking steps to improve yourself, and that there is no shame in being a work in progress.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose to move on.\", \"描述\": \"This is easier said than done, but one of the best ways to build confidence long-term when you are faced with insults is to remind yourself that an insult is only effective if you let it hurt you. If you choose to move past the insult quickly and focus self-improvement or already positive aspects about your personality, the insult loses its power.\\nPractice filling in statements such as, “That doesn’t matter because I’m ______.” Give yourself a reason, based in your positive traits, to dismiss the insult.\\nFor example, if someone insults you by saying, “That was a really bad presentation,” let yourself know, “That doesn’t matter, because I turned in a great report for this project.”\\nUnderstand that moving on may take time. View being able to quickly dismiss insults in favor of your own positive traits as a goal rather than an immediate solution.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with good people.\", \"描述\": \"One way to not only build confidence but also minimize unnecessary criticism is to surround yourself with positive influences. Put time friendships, family relationships, and school or work connections that you find fulfilling and let go of those that you see as a hindrance.\\nPositive relationships will help you build your confidence by celebrating you when you do well in life and pushing you to reach for positive things. Take inventory of who in your life does this for you.\\nLook at who is insulting you. If it is a family member or someone who calls themself your friend, consider loosening or leaving your relationship with that person. Let them know, “You constantly criticize me and I do not want that kind of negative force in my life.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing With Repeated Bullies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ignore them.\", \"描述\": \"Most bullies are looking for attention. When they insult you and you get upset, you are doing exactly what they hope for. Strip your bully of their power and come of confident and secure by simply ignoring what the bully says.\\nIf a bully interrupts you to insult you while you are speaking, simply continue on without acknowledging what they said at all.\\nBe consistent. A bully may try to force a reaction out of you by speaking louder, repeating the insult, or being more verbally aggressive. Keep consistent and they may eventually leave the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put distance between you and the bully.\", \"描述\": \"Look at your bully whenever they insult you and simply walk away. Do this confidently, smiling and with your head held high, to show them that their insult has does not impact you in the slightest.\\nIf they follow you, keep walking until they leave or you get where you need to go.\\nDo not go out of your way to avoid your bully. You are allowed to go where you need to for school, work, or your personal life. Walk past your bully confidently to let the know that they do not dominate your actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let someone know.\", \"描述\": \"If your bully moves from insults to threats of aggression or physical aggression, do not be afraid to let an authority figure know. Involve someone that can help you moderate, or else help protect you from those threats. Know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help dealing with aggression.\\nConsider talking to your teacher, your boss, or a counselor the moment a bully moves from insults to threats or physical aggression.\\nIf a bully physically attacks you, report it to your office or campus security, or otherwise alert the police immediately. Call as soon as you are able and say, “I need immediate help. I am being physically attacked.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You don’t have to feel confident on the inside to act confident. When someone insults you, acting confident is often enough to fool them, and if you do it enough you may be able to fool yourself into new confidence, as well.\\n\", \"Understand that there is a difference between constructive criticism and insults. Criticism may help you address deficiencies in an area where you are otherwise strong, while an insult is meant primarily to hurt you.\\n\", \"If someone insults you, think before you speak - otherwise you may make the situation worse.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,644 | How to Be Conservative in a Liberal School | 1. Educating Yourself and Others
1-1. State your opinion in class.
Even if it is unpopular, you have the right to express your point of view. A good professor will be respectful of differences in opinion, and will be able to create a good discussion to the benefit of everyone's education.
1-2. Do your homework.
Stay current with reading assignments and papers. Being a good student lends credibility to your arguments. Read beyond the text to back up your beliefs with additional insights.
1-3. Respect your liberal professors.
It is not your imagination, professors are generally liberal, and have even moved further to the left in recent years.Nevertheless, offer them your respect. In spite of their political beliefs, they are still knowledgeable in their field, and have a lot to offer your education. Once in a while, you may luck out with a more moderate or conservative professors. You may see them in smaller colleges, trade schools, and private colleges.
1-4. Discuss, don't battle.
Keep your conversations casual and civil. You will make friends instead of enemies. People are more receptive to new ideas if everyone remains friendly!
If your opponent becomes angry, try not to feed into it. It makes you the bigger person to try to deescalate the situation and remain calm.
It is up to you if you want to continue to engage with someone who is being hostile. To end the conversation, try saying, “I think we should revisit this another time when we're not so worked up. Can we agree to disagree in the meantime?” and change the subject.
1-5. Take your learning beyond the classroom walls.
You are not limited to your classes for an education. Take the initiative to teach yourself.
Find a recommended reading list of conservative works and read these in your spare time.
Volunteer to work on the campaign of a candidate whose ideals you support. This is also great work experience.
Help get people registered to vote.
Be a poll worker on Election Day.
1-6. Make sure your school has conservative publications.
Check your school's library and make sure there is a broad spectrum of political writings represented. Talk to your school's librarian if you think something is missing.
1-7. Be aware of your own biases.
How has your upbringing shaped you? Reflect on your heritage and life experience and consider how this has shaped your belief system. Your culture, family, socioeconomic status, and more come into play when you develop your political beliefs.
Realize that your classmates' upbringings also influence their beliefs and create biases. Learning more about your classmates' backgrounds, as well as sharing yours, can increase mutual understanding. Try asking, “What was your family like growing up? What was your neighborhood like?”
2. Finding Like-Minded Individuals
2-1. Know you're not alone.
College students as a whole are generally more liberal, but that doesn't mean there are no other conservative college students even on your liberal campus. This can be an opportunity to be a leader and organize like-minded students.
Post flyers around your school or use social media to look for people to join a conservative student group.
If there isn't a chapter of such a group on your campus, start one!
2-2. Cast a wider net.
Broaden your search for fellow conservatives to include your local community, houses of worship, local government, and political parties. As a bonus, getting connected at the local level can give you a real opportunity to affect political change.
2-3. Learn more about your classmates.
Just because someone identifies as liberal doesn't mean they don't have some conservative opinions. In spite of increasing polarization, it doesn't mean that you will not be able to find some common, middle ground. Take the time to learn about your classmates' beliefs, and you may be surprised at what you have in common.
Your fellow students will not be as liberal as their professors. Incoming freshmen across all universities are more likely to identify as politically moderate and sometimes even conservative. Therefore, you may find some unexpected allies in class discussions.
2-4. Look online.
The internet is full of a wide range of political beliefs. If you are unsuccessful in finding people on your campus or in your community to talk to, you will find them online.
2-5. Consider transferring.
If all else fails, and you do not feel a part of your campus community, look into changing schools. Look for a school that is more in line with your conservative beliefs.
While it is important to stand up for what you believe in, arguing all the time and feeling like you are all alone can be harmful to your mental health. There is no shame in finding a place where you don't feel like you are constantly fighting a battle!
3. Standing Up for Your Beliefs
3-1. Stay true to yourself.
Don't feel like you need to conform to whatever is popular. Your opinion, though different, is still valuable.
Be open-minded and receptive to hearing new ideas, but this does not mean you need to agree with them. Education is about being exposed to and analyzing different perspectives.
3-2. Learn how to debate.
Read books on the subject, practice your skills, or even join a debate team. This will help you in your classroom discussions, and is a valuable skill to have in life.
Stay calm and respectful during debates. Avoid loaded language and name-calling. Instead of “Obamacare was idiotic. He was clearly conspiring with insurance companies,” try saying “Obamacare has become a bureaucratic nightmare, and now insurance companies are profiting off it.”
Back up your arguments with facts and statistics. The argument that Ronald Reagan was the best President for the economy will be stronger if you can support it. Try saying, “During Reagan's presidency, he cut the top tax rate from 70 percent to 28 percent. Freeing up this money from the government allowed industry to create jobs and innovation in the country.”
3-3. Pick your battles.
Expressing your frustration at every liberal perspective will not endear you, or your points of view, to others. Sometimes it may be better to remain silent, or speak with your instructor after class.
Try saying, “Sometimes I feel like I am always the person bringing this up, but I didn't think our discussion on drug offenders offered all perspectives. Instead of raising my hand and having everyone get frustrated at me again, I decided to wait until after class to talk to you.”
3-4. Take action.
If you feel the classes are too left-leaning, and that your instructors do not do a good job sharing all points of view, be an advocate for your education and work for change.
Write a letter and present it to your principal, dean, school board, or university official. Send it to your school newspaper or local paper as well.
Run for student government. While you may not win due to your school's demographics, your presence can bring the issue to the table and start a conversation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Educating Yourself and Others\\n1-1. State your opinion in class.\\nEven if it is unpopular, you have the right to express your point of view. A good professor will be respectful of differences in opinion, and will be able to create a good discussion to the benefit of everyone's education.\\n1-2. Do your homework.\\nStay current with reading assignments and papers. Being a good student lends credibility to your arguments. Read beyond the text to back up your beliefs with additional insights.\\n1-3. Respect your liberal professors.\\nIt is not your imagination, professors are generally liberal, and have even moved further to the left in recent years.Nevertheless, offer them your respect. In spite of their political beliefs, they are still knowledgeable in their field, and have a lot to offer your education. Once in a while, you may luck out with a more moderate or conservative professors. You may see them in smaller colleges, trade schools, and private colleges.\\n1-4. Discuss, don't battle.\\nKeep your conversations casual and civil. You will make friends instead of enemies. People are more receptive to new ideas if everyone remains friendly!\\nIf your opponent becomes angry, try not to feed into it. It makes you the bigger person to try to deescalate the situation and remain calm.\\nIt is up to you if you want to continue to engage with someone who is being hostile. To end the conversation, try saying, “I think we should revisit this another time when we're not so worked up. Can we agree to disagree in the meantime?” and change the subject.\\n1-5. Take your learning beyond the classroom walls.\\nYou are not limited to your classes for an education. Take the initiative to teach yourself.\\nFind a recommended reading list of conservative works and read these in your spare time.\\nVolunteer to work on the campaign of a candidate whose ideals you support. This is also great work experience.\\nHelp get people registered to vote.\\nBe a poll worker on Election Day.\\n1-6. Make sure your school has conservative publications.\\nCheck your school's library and make sure there is a broad spectrum of political writings represented. Talk to your school's librarian if you think something is missing.\\n1-7. Be aware of your own biases.\\nHow has your upbringing shaped you? Reflect on your heritage and life experience and consider how this has shaped your belief system. Your culture, family, socioeconomic status, and more come into play when you develop your political beliefs.\\nRealize that your classmates' upbringings also influence their beliefs and create biases. Learning more about your classmates' backgrounds, as well as sharing yours, can increase mutual understanding. Try asking, “What was your family like growing up? What was your neighborhood like?”\\n2. Finding Like-Minded Individuals\\n2-1. Know you're not alone.\\nCollege students as a whole are generally more liberal, but that doesn't mean there are no other conservative college students even on your liberal campus. This can be an opportunity to be a leader and organize like-minded students.\\nPost flyers around your school or use social media to look for people to join a conservative student group.\\nIf there isn't a chapter of such a group on your campus, start one!\\n2-2. Cast a wider net.\\nBroaden your search for fellow conservatives to include your local community, houses of worship, local government, and political parties. As a bonus, getting connected at the local level can give you a real opportunity to affect political change.\\n2-3. Learn more about your classmates.\\nJust because someone identifies as liberal doesn't mean they don't have some conservative opinions. In spite of increasing polarization, it doesn't mean that you will not be able to find some common, middle ground. Take the time to learn about your classmates' beliefs, and you may be surprised at what you have in common.\\nYour fellow students will not be as liberal as their professors. Incoming freshmen across all universities are more likely to identify as politically moderate and sometimes even conservative. Therefore, you may find some unexpected allies in class discussions.\\n2-4. Look online.\\nThe internet is full of a wide range of political beliefs. If you are unsuccessful in finding people on your campus or in your community to talk to, you will find them online.\\n2-5. Consider transferring.\\nIf all else fails, and you do not feel a part of your campus community, look into changing schools. Look for a school that is more in line with your conservative beliefs.\\nWhile it is important to stand up for what you believe in, arguing all the time and feeling like you are all alone can be harmful to your mental health. There is no shame in finding a place where you don't feel like you are constantly fighting a battle!\\n3. Standing Up for Your Beliefs\\n3-1. Stay true to yourself.\\nDon't feel like you need to conform to whatever is popular. Your opinion, though different, is still valuable.\\nBe open-minded and receptive to hearing new ideas, but this does not mean you need to agree with them. Education is about being exposed to and analyzing different perspectives.\\n3-2. Learn how to debate.\\nRead books on the subject, practice your skills, or even join a debate team. This will help you in your classroom discussions, and is a valuable skill to have in life.\\nStay calm and respectful during debates. Avoid loaded language and name-calling. Instead of “Obamacare was idiotic. He was clearly conspiring with insurance companies,” try saying “Obamacare has become a bureaucratic nightmare, and now insurance companies are profiting off it.”\\nBack up your arguments with facts and statistics. The argument that Ronald Reagan was the best President for the economy will be stronger if you can support it. Try saying, “During Reagan's presidency, he cut the top tax rate from 70 percent to 28 percent. Freeing up this money from the government allowed industry to create jobs and innovation in the country.”\\n3-3. Pick your battles.\\nExpressing your frustration at every liberal perspective will not endear you, or your points of view, to others. Sometimes it may be better to remain silent, or speak with your instructor after class.\\nTry saying, “Sometimes I feel like I am always the person bringing this up, but I didn't think our discussion on drug offenders offered all perspectives. Instead of raising my hand and having everyone get frustrated at me again, I decided to wait until after class to talk to you.”\\n3-4. Take action.\\nIf you feel the classes are too left-leaning, and that your instructors do not do a good job sharing all points of view, be an advocate for your education and work for change.\\nWrite a letter and present it to your principal, dean, school board, or university official. Send it to your school newspaper or local paper as well.\\nRun for student government. While you may not win due to your school's demographics, your presence can bring the issue to the table and start a conversation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"As a conservative student at a liberal college, you may feel confident, though isolated in your beliefs. It may be hard to find others in your community who understand you. Even in the classroom, you may feel like the instructors are biased, not willing to listen to your perspective, or respect your answers to questions. Being open to sharing your beliefs may help you find others who agree with you, and may even help bring a more balanced perspective to your campus. If you want to be a conservative student at a liberal college, we’ll walk you through the various ways you can survive alongside students who may not share your perspective.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Educating Yourself and Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"State your opinion in class.\", \"描述\": \"Even if it is unpopular, you have the right to express your point of view. A good professor will be respectful of differences in opinion, and will be able to create a good discussion to the benefit of everyone's education.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your homework.\", \"描述\": \"Stay current with reading assignments and papers. Being a good student lends credibility to your arguments. Read beyond the text to back up your beliefs with additional insights.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect your liberal professors.\", \"描述\": \"It is not your imagination, professors are generally liberal, and have even moved further to the left in recent years.Nevertheless, offer them your respect. In spite of their political beliefs, they are still knowledgeable in their field, and have a lot to offer your education. Once in a while, you may luck out with a more moderate or conservative professors. You may see them in smaller colleges, trade schools, and private colleges.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss, don't battle.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your conversations casual and civil. You will make friends instead of enemies. People are more receptive to new ideas if everyone remains friendly!\\nIf your opponent becomes angry, try not to feed into it. It makes you the bigger person to try to deescalate the situation and remain calm.\\nIt is up to you if you want to continue to engage with someone who is being hostile. To end the conversation, try saying, “I think we should revisit this another time when we're not so worked up. Can we agree to disagree in the meantime?” and change the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take your learning beyond the classroom walls.\", \"描述\": \"You are not limited to your classes for an education. Take the initiative to teach yourself.\\nFind a recommended reading list of conservative works and read these in your spare time.\\nVolunteer to work on the campaign of a candidate whose ideals you support. This is also great work experience.\\nHelp get people registered to vote.\\nBe a poll worker on Election Day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make sure your school has conservative publications.\", \"描述\": \"Check your school's library and make sure there is a broad spectrum of political writings represented. Talk to your school's librarian if you think something is missing.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your own biases.\", \"描述\": \"How has your upbringing shaped you? Reflect on your heritage and life experience and consider how this has shaped your belief system. Your culture, family, socioeconomic status, and more come into play when you develop your political beliefs.\\nRealize that your classmates' upbringings also influence their beliefs and create biases. Learning more about your classmates' backgrounds, as well as sharing yours, can increase mutual understanding. Try asking, “What was your family like growing up? What was your neighborhood like?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Like-Minded Individuals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know you're not alone.\", \"描述\": \"College students as a whole are generally more liberal, but that doesn't mean there are no other conservative college students even on your liberal campus. This can be an opportunity to be a leader and organize like-minded students.\\nPost flyers around your school or use social media to look for people to join a conservative student group.\\nIf there isn't a chapter of such a group on your campus, start one!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cast a wider net.\", \"描述\": \"Broaden your search for fellow conservatives to include your local community, houses of worship, local government, and political parties. As a bonus, getting connected at the local level can give you a real opportunity to affect political change.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn more about your classmates.\", \"描述\": \"Just because someone identifies as liberal doesn't mean they don't have some conservative opinions. In spite of increasing polarization, it doesn't mean that you will not be able to find some common, middle ground. Take the time to learn about your classmates' beliefs, and you may be surprised at what you have in common.\\nYour fellow students will not be as liberal as their professors. Incoming freshmen across all universities are more likely to identify as politically moderate and sometimes even conservative. Therefore, you may find some unexpected allies in class discussions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look online.\", \"描述\": \"The internet is full of a wide range of political beliefs. If you are unsuccessful in finding people on your campus or in your community to talk to, you will find them online.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider transferring.\", \"描述\": \"If all else fails, and you do not feel a part of your campus community, look into changing schools. Look for a school that is more in line with your conservative beliefs.\\nWhile it is important to stand up for what you believe in, arguing all the time and feeling like you are all alone can be harmful to your mental health. There is no shame in finding a place where you don't feel like you are constantly fighting a battle!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Standing Up for Your Beliefs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't feel like you need to conform to whatever is popular. Your opinion, though different, is still valuable.\\nBe open-minded and receptive to hearing new ideas, but this does not mean you need to agree with them. Education is about being exposed to and analyzing different perspectives.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn how to debate.\", \"描述\": \"Read books on the subject, practice your skills, or even join a debate team. This will help you in your classroom discussions, and is a valuable skill to have in life.\\nStay calm and respectful during debates. Avoid loaded language and name-calling. Instead of “Obamacare was idiotic. He was clearly conspiring with insurance companies,” try saying “Obamacare has become a bureaucratic nightmare, and now insurance companies are profiting off it.”\\nBack up your arguments with facts and statistics. The argument that Ronald Reagan was the best President for the economy will be stronger if you can support it. Try saying, “During Reagan's presidency, he cut the top tax rate from 70 percent to 28 percent. Freeing up this money from the government allowed industry to create jobs and innovation in the country.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick your battles.\", \"描述\": \"Expressing your frustration at every liberal perspective will not endear you, or your points of view, to others. Sometimes it may be better to remain silent, or speak with your instructor after class.\\nTry saying, “Sometimes I feel like I am always the person bringing this up, but I didn't think our discussion on drug offenders offered all perspectives. Instead of raising my hand and having everyone get frustrated at me again, I decided to wait until after class to talk to you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take action.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel the classes are too left-leaning, and that your instructors do not do a good job sharing all points of view, be an advocate for your education and work for change.\\nWrite a letter and present it to your principal, dean, school board, or university official. Send it to your school newspaper or local paper as well.\\nRun for student government. While you may not win due to your school's demographics, your presence can bring the issue to the table and start a conversation.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,645 | How to Be Considerate | 1. Learning Empathy
1-1. Put yourself in someone else's shoes.
Before you talk to your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or teacher, ask yourself how that person might be feeling just then. Maybe you're mad at your roommate and want to tell her she's too messy, or you want to ask your best friend to stop calling you so much. Well, before you have a conversation about how you really feel, you need to think about how the other person would react, and to put yourself in their frame of mind. While you shouldn't have to change what you want to say completely to suit another person's needs, thinking of the situation from the other person's perspective can help you best articulate what you want to say while minimizing hurt feelings.
Maybe your roommate is really messy, but she's also the one who does all of the grocery shopping. You should find a way to compliment her good qualities as well as her bad ones so she doesn't get defensive or feel like you don't appreciate her as a roommate.
Maybe your best friend is calling a lot because she's been lonely ever since her boyfriend broke up with her. You can still say what you want to say, but be considerate of her feelings and try to think of it from her perspective before you proceed.
1-2. Anticipate the needs of others.
Part of being considerate is knowing what people will need before they even realize it themselves. If you're going out for lunch with your coworkers, put down enough napkins for everybody. If you're going to the beach with some friends, bring an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband is going to have a late night at the office, leave some dinner waiting for him in the fridge. Keep an eye out for what people need, even before they realize it themselves, in order to be a truly considerate person.
People will be grateful and impressed by your thoughtfulness.
You shouldn't do this because you want something in exchange, but because you genuinely want to help people.
1-3. Be considerate of others when you're in public.
A lot of people tend not to think of their surroundings when they're out and about in public. The next time you're out, think about how what you're doing may be perceived by other people, and how they would react. You may think that loudly talking to your best friend on the phone at a coffee shop where everyone else is trying to study is inoffensive, when in reality, you may be driving the people around you crazy. Here are some other ways to make sure you're being considerate in public:
Try to keep your voice at a normal level, whether you're on the phone or talking to friends
Avoid taking up too much space
If you're in class, avoid unwrapping something loudly or shuffling around so much that you cause a distraction
Look where you're going instead of texting and walking
1-4. Be considerate of other people's financial situations.
Before you ask your friends or people you know to pony up for something, you should consider their financial situation as much as you can. If your friend is broke, don't suggest that you go out for dinner at the fanciest place in town — unless it's your treat. You may not think about this if your finances are settled, but you don't want to put other people in an uncomfortable situation because they can't afford to pay. Here are some ways to make sure you're being considerate of other people's financial situations:
If you're throwing a wedding, think about your guests. Can your bridesmaids really afford $200 dresses, or a trip to a bachelorette party in Tahiti? Can your guests really pay to fly across the country to celebrate you? Of course, it should be your event, but you should make sure that the people involved don't have to break their bank account to participate.
If you're hanging out with people who don't have a lot of money, find cheaper things to do, like going to happy hour or a dive bar or watching a fun movie instead of going clubbing or going to the theatre. Don't embarrass people by making them admit that they can't afford to do things.
2. Being Considerate in Conversation
2-1. Choose your timing carefully.
Part of being considerate is knowing the best time that you should say something. The most innocuous comment can come off as offensive if you say it at the wrong time. Make sure that the person or people you are talking to are in the right frame of mind to be receptive to your comment, and that you're not interrupting anything or causing complications with what you're saying. Here are some ideas for choosing your timing:
For example, maybe you have some great news to share, like you recently got engaged. This news can be perfect for brunch with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about his mother's funeral, then you should absolutely hold off on your big news.
On the other hand, if you have some bad news to deliver, make sure the person is in the right frame of mind as well. If your friend is gushing about her pregnancy, it's not the time to talk about how you just got dumped.
If you have to give negative feedback to a coworker, make sure you to it when the person isn't caught off guard. Set up a time to talk to the person instead of casually giving negative feedback when the person least expects it.
2-2. Choose your words carefully.
If you want to be considerate, then you have to know that the words you use are just as important as the message you're trying to send. If you want people to be receptive and to not feel bad, then you have to carefully think of the words you'll use when you're speaking. Whether you're finding a delicate way to give negative feedback or even finding the right way to praise somebody, it's important to remember that words do matter. Here are some things to consider as you choose your words:
Even if you're giving negative feedback, you can find a delicate way to phrase it. You can tell a coworker he "could be more efficient" instead of saying he's "slow" or you can tell a needy best friend that you feel overwhelmed by her instead of saying she is "clingy" or "needy."
You can also make your message sound less offensive if you don't directly use the word "you" all the time. For example, instead of telling your boyfriend, "You are so paranoid," you can say, "I worry about the trust issues in our relationship." This still gets the message across without making your boyfriend feel like you're pointing a finger at him.
2-3. Don't monopolize conversations.
Another thing inconsiderate people tend to do is to talk on and on without realizing that other people couldn't care less. It's one thing if you have a great story to tell, but if you're always the person who is talking and talking and don't let other people have their say, then it's definitely not considerate. The next time you talk in a group or individual setting, be aware of how much you're talking as opposed to everyone else. Make sure you give other people a chance to talk, ask how they are doing, and how they're feeling. This is very considerate.
If you have a quick chat with a friend in the halls or at lunch, make sure you both have time to say what's up. If you just tell your friend all about your day and what you're doing next weekend and then say goodbye, that's not very considerate.
You should also be considerate when you think about the subject you're discussing. Would your co-workers really want to hear about your drama with your best friend they've never met? Or would your best friend really want to hear a long discussion about the meeting you had at work?
2-4. Thank people.
It's also considerate to be able to thank people truly and honestly for something they have done for you. This could be something big, like letting you crash with them for three weeks while you looked for an apartment, or something smaller, like picking up coffee for you. No matter how small the deed, it's important to thank people so that they know that you appreciate them, and understand that you don't just expect people to do nice things for you. Make eye contact and give the person 100% of your attention when you say thank you so that you show that you truly mean it.
If you were an extended house guest at a friend's house or a friend or person did something really nice for you, send or give him or her a bottle of wine or a gift basket to show that you really care. Sometimes, just saying "Thanks!" isn't enough.
Get in the habit of writing thank-you cards to show your appreciation. This is a thoughtful and oft-forgotten gesture.
You can also go beyond just saying "thank you" and explain how much the person's action meant to you. For example, you can say something like, "Jackie, thank you so much for cooking dinner for me the other night. I was so stressed out with work that day, and you really helped calm me down."
2-5. Apologize when you've made a mistake.
Even considerate people can have flaws. If you've made a mistake, whether you've truly hurt someone or accidentally run into someone, you should make sure to apologize for your actions. Don't just say "Sorry" and look away like you couldn't care less; make a point of making eye contact, telling the person how sorry you really are, and mentioning that it won't happen again. Taking accountability for something is much more considerate than brushing it under the rug because you hope it'll just go away on its own. Though apologizing can be unpleasant, the other person will appreciate it.
People who are considerate known when to apologize because they're aware when they've hurt someone's feelings, even if they didn't mean to do it. If you've hurt someone, don't say something like, "I'm sorry you felt bad when I..." This kind of language actually blames the other person and avoids responsibility.
2-6. Be tactful.
Having tact is an important part of being considerate. Being tactful means knowing how to make a point without offending the people around you; it doesn't mean that you have to lie to get your point across. To have tact, you have to know how to give feedback or criticism in a kind, thoughtful way that gets the message across without causing any hurt feelings. You also have to be an active listener and be aware of the people around you so you can make sure they respond in a favorable way.
If you end up offending people, then they'll be much less receptive to your criticism. Giving information in a kinder way will make people feel better and will make them more likely to change; it's a win-win situation.
For example, if you want to tell your co-worker that he has been working slowly, you can say something like, "I think your projects are always so detail-oriented and thorough. However, I'm wondering if there's a way that you can maintain the quality of your work while boosting your efficiency a bit."
3. Acting Considerate
3-1. Do nice things for people when you see they need help.
Being considerate means recognizing when someone would need your help before they even ask for it. This can be anything from opening a door for a person on crutches to picking up lunch for your best friend when she's having a stressful day cramming for an exam. As long as you don't give help to people who really don't want it, you will be acting considerate. Keep an eye out for situations, big or small, when you could really help a person out. Always be observant to see if someone needs something, even if he or she is afraid to ask for it. Here are some examples of ways to be considerate:
Hold doors open for people
Pull out chairs for people
Make room for people who sit next to you
Let older people take your seat if you're on a bus or a train
Pick up coffee for a fellow coworker if you're going on a coffee run
Help your parents out by doing extra chores when they are clearly overwhelmed
Run an errand for a significant other or roommate
3-2. Have good manners.
Another part of being considerate is demonstrating good manners. If you want to be considerate of others, then you can't be rude, loud, or annoying in social situations. You don't have to be prince charming, but you should be able to have basic good manners so that the people around you feel comfortable and cared for. Whether you're hanging out with your friends or hanging out at your Grandma's 80th birthday party, you should demonstrate good manners, even if the meaning of "good manners" changes slightly depending on your audience. Here are some ways to have good manners:
Avoid cursing or being overly vulgar
If you burp, excuse yourself
Put a napkin on your lap when you eat and avoid getting food all over yourself
Don't loudly slurp your drink
Make room for people on the sidewalk
Avoid gross or inappropriate topics in front of the wrong audience
3-3. Share.
Another way to be considerate is to share with others. Maybe you brought a delicious box of your mother's cookies to lunch and can't wait to devour them all, but you should ask your coworkers if they want any. Maybe you brought some awesome stickers to school that you can't wait to use to decorate your notebook. Well, ask your friends if they want in on the fun! You can also share your clothes, your space, or something else that means something to you with the people around you. Remember that, if you're sharing something you don't really care about, then it's not really sharing.
Sharing isn't just for little kids and siblings. It's an important quality of a considerate person at any age.
3-4. Be punctual.
One of the most inconsiderate things you can do is to act like your time is more important than someone else's. You may not be doing this intentionally, but if you show up late — especially if you make a habit of it — then this is sending people the message that you don't really care about their time. Whether you show up five minutes late to class, half an hour late to work, or you show up forty-five minutes late to meeting a friend for lunch, this is definitely going to make the other person feel annoyed and like you don't care about his or her time.
Of course, if you're going to a party or an event with a lot of people, then showing up exactly on time may not matter — in fact, getting to a party the second it starts can actually be a bit awkward. But if it's you keeping another person or two waiting, then that is just plain inconsiderate.
If you know that you're going to be late, don't lie about your location ("I'm just a few blocks away!") because you think that'll make it better. Be honest about the fact that you're running 10 or 15 minutes late.
3-5. Do random acts of kindness.
This is another part of being considerate. Instead of just being considerate of the people you know and love, you can also be considerate of complete strangers, especially those who could use a bit of attention. You can hold doors for people, put some money in the tip jar at your local coffee house, give a compliment to a person you pass on the street, give your parking ticket with an hour left over on it to a person who just entered the parking lot, or help carry an old lady's groceries to her car.
Making a habit of looking for opportunities when you can help people will make you a more considerate person.
Of course, you have to make sure the person truly welcomes the random act of kindness. You don't want to overwhelm someone who wants to be left alone.
3-6. Keep your space clean.
It's important to keep your space clean, whether you want to be a considerate house guest, a considerate roommate or family member, or just a considerate human being. If you live by yourself, then it's a good idea to maintain a clean space anyway, but you should be especially considerate of other people around you. Make your bed, throw out your trash, do your dishes, and don't leave other people to do it for you. This is an important part of being considerate at any age.
People who are inconsiderate expect the world to revolve around them, and expect people to clean up their trash for them. This shows that they think they are more important than other people and expect that others will act accordingly. You don't want to be this person.
Tips
Be patient with trying to learn this new personality trait!
Go out of your way to do nice things for people.
Practice makes (almost) perfect!
Warnings
Consideration's good, just don't be blind either and be lured into traps! If you feel like someone is taking advantage of your consideration or telling you to do something that seems dangerous, embarrassing or illegal, stop immediately and tell some one you trust!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning Empathy\\n1-1. Put yourself in someone else's shoes.\\nBefore you talk to your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or teacher, ask yourself how that person might be feeling just then. Maybe you're mad at your roommate and want to tell her she's too messy, or you want to ask your best friend to stop calling you so much. Well, before you have a conversation about how you really feel, you need to think about how the other person would react, and to put yourself in their frame of mind. While you shouldn't have to change what you want to say completely to suit another person's needs, thinking of the situation from the other person's perspective can help you best articulate what you want to say while minimizing hurt feelings.\\nMaybe your roommate is really messy, but she's also the one who does all of the grocery shopping. You should find a way to compliment her good qualities as well as her bad ones so she doesn't get defensive or feel like you don't appreciate her as a roommate.\\nMaybe your best friend is calling a lot because she's been lonely ever since her boyfriend broke up with her. You can still say what you want to say, but be considerate of her feelings and try to think of it from her perspective before you proceed.\\n1-2. Anticipate the needs of others.\\nPart of being considerate is knowing what people will need before they even realize it themselves. If you're going out for lunch with your coworkers, put down enough napkins for everybody. If you're going to the beach with some friends, bring an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband is going to have a late night at the office, leave some dinner waiting for him in the fridge. Keep an eye out for what people need, even before they realize it themselves, in order to be a truly considerate person.\\nPeople will be grateful and impressed by your thoughtfulness.\\nYou shouldn't do this because you want something in exchange, but because you genuinely want to help people.\\n1-3. Be considerate of others when you're in public.\\nA lot of people tend not to think of their surroundings when they're out and about in public. The next time you're out, think about how what you're doing may be perceived by other people, and how they would react. You may think that loudly talking to your best friend on the phone at a coffee shop where everyone else is trying to study is inoffensive, when in reality, you may be driving the people around you crazy. Here are some other ways to make sure you're being considerate in public:\\nTry to keep your voice at a normal level, whether you're on the phone or talking to friends\\nAvoid taking up too much space\\nIf you're in class, avoid unwrapping something loudly or shuffling around so much that you cause a distraction\\nLook where you're going instead of texting and walking\\n1-4. Be considerate of other people's financial situations.\\nBefore you ask your friends or people you know to pony up for something, you should consider their financial situation as much as you can. If your friend is broke, don't suggest that you go out for dinner at the fanciest place in town — unless it's your treat. You may not think about this if your finances are settled, but you don't want to put other people in an uncomfortable situation because they can't afford to pay. Here are some ways to make sure you're being considerate of other people's financial situations:\\nIf you're throwing a wedding, think about your guests. Can your bridesmaids really afford $200 dresses, or a trip to a bachelorette party in Tahiti? Can your guests really pay to fly across the country to celebrate you? Of course, it should be your event, but you should make sure that the people involved don't have to break their bank account to participate.\\nIf you're hanging out with people who don't have a lot of money, find cheaper things to do, like going to happy hour or a dive bar or watching a fun movie instead of going clubbing or going to the theatre. Don't embarrass people by making them admit that they can't afford to do things.\\n2. Being Considerate in Conversation\\n2-1. Choose your timing carefully.\\nPart of being considerate is knowing the best time that you should say something. The most innocuous comment can come off as offensive if you say it at the wrong time. Make sure that the person or people you are talking to are in the right frame of mind to be receptive to your comment, and that you're not interrupting anything or causing complications with what you're saying. Here are some ideas for choosing your timing:\\nFor example, maybe you have some great news to share, like you recently got engaged. This news can be perfect for brunch with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about his mother's funeral, then you should absolutely hold off on your big news.\\nOn the other hand, if you have some bad news to deliver, make sure the person is in the right frame of mind as well. If your friend is gushing about her pregnancy, it's not the time to talk about how you just got dumped.\\nIf you have to give negative feedback to a coworker, make sure you to it when the person isn't caught off guard. Set up a time to talk to the person instead of casually giving negative feedback when the person least expects it.\\n2-2. Choose your words carefully.\\nIf you want to be considerate, then you have to know that the words you use are just as important as the message you're trying to send. If you want people to be receptive and to not feel bad, then you have to carefully think of the words you'll use when you're speaking. Whether you're finding a delicate way to give negative feedback or even finding the right way to praise somebody, it's important to remember that words do matter. Here are some things to consider as you choose your words:\\nEven if you're giving negative feedback, you can find a delicate way to phrase it. You can tell a coworker he \\\"could be more efficient\\\" instead of saying he's \\\"slow\\\" or you can tell a needy best friend that you feel overwhelmed by her instead of saying she is \\\"clingy\\\" or \\\"needy.\\\"\\nYou can also make your message sound less offensive if you don't directly use the word \\\"you\\\" all the time. For example, instead of telling your boyfriend, \\\"You are so paranoid,\\\" you can say, \\\"I worry about the trust issues in our relationship.\\\" This still gets the message across without making your boyfriend feel like you're pointing a finger at him.\\n2-3. Don't monopolize conversations.\\nAnother thing inconsiderate people tend to do is to talk on and on without realizing that other people couldn't care less. It's one thing if you have a great story to tell, but if you're always the person who is talking and talking and don't let other people have their say, then it's definitely not considerate. The next time you talk in a group or individual setting, be aware of how much you're talking as opposed to everyone else. Make sure you give other people a chance to talk, ask how they are doing, and how they're feeling. This is very considerate.\\nIf you have a quick chat with a friend in the halls or at lunch, make sure you both have time to say what's up. If you just tell your friend all about your day and what you're doing next weekend and then say goodbye, that's not very considerate.\\nYou should also be considerate when you think about the subject you're discussing. Would your co-workers really want to hear about your drama with your best friend they've never met? Or would your best friend really want to hear a long discussion about the meeting you had at work?\\n2-4. Thank people.\\nIt's also considerate to be able to thank people truly and honestly for something they have done for you. This could be something big, like letting you crash with them for three weeks while you looked for an apartment, or something smaller, like picking up coffee for you. No matter how small the deed, it's important to thank people so that they know that you appreciate them, and understand that you don't just expect people to do nice things for you. Make eye contact and give the person 100% of your attention when you say thank you so that you show that you truly mean it.\\nIf you were an extended house guest at a friend's house or a friend or person did something really nice for you, send or give him or her a bottle of wine or a gift basket to show that you really care. Sometimes, just saying \\\"Thanks!\\\" isn't enough.\\nGet in the habit of writing thank-you cards to show your appreciation. This is a thoughtful and oft-forgotten gesture.\\nYou can also go beyond just saying \\\"thank you\\\" and explain how much the person's action meant to you. For example, you can say something like, \\\"Jackie, thank you so much for cooking dinner for me the other night. I was so stressed out with work that day, and you really helped calm me down.\\\"\\n2-5. Apologize when you've made a mistake.\\nEven considerate people can have flaws. If you've made a mistake, whether you've truly hurt someone or accidentally run into someone, you should make sure to apologize for your actions. Don't just say \\\"Sorry\\\" and look away like you couldn't care less; make a point of making eye contact, telling the person how sorry you really are, and mentioning that it won't happen again. Taking accountability for something is much more considerate than brushing it under the rug because you hope it'll just go away on its own. Though apologizing can be unpleasant, the other person will appreciate it.\\nPeople who are considerate known when to apologize because they're aware when they've hurt someone's feelings, even if they didn't mean to do it. If you've hurt someone, don't say something like, \\\"I'm sorry you felt bad when I...\\\" This kind of language actually blames the other person and avoids responsibility.\\n2-6. Be tactful.\\nHaving tact is an important part of being considerate. Being tactful means knowing how to make a point without offending the people around you; it doesn't mean that you have to lie to get your point across. To have tact, you have to know how to give feedback or criticism in a kind, thoughtful way that gets the message across without causing any hurt feelings. You also have to be an active listener and be aware of the people around you so you can make sure they respond in a favorable way.\\nIf you end up offending people, then they'll be much less receptive to your criticism. Giving information in a kinder way will make people feel better and will make them more likely to change; it's a win-win situation.\\nFor example, if you want to tell your co-worker that he has been working slowly, you can say something like, \\\"I think your projects are always so detail-oriented and thorough. However, I'm wondering if there's a way that you can maintain the quality of your work while boosting your efficiency a bit.\\\"\\n3. Acting Considerate\\n3-1. Do nice things for people when you see they need help.\\nBeing considerate means recognizing when someone would need your help before they even ask for it. This can be anything from opening a door for a person on crutches to picking up lunch for your best friend when she's having a stressful day cramming for an exam. As long as you don't give help to people who really don't want it, you will be acting considerate. Keep an eye out for situations, big or small, when you could really help a person out. Always be observant to see if someone needs something, even if he or she is afraid to ask for it. Here are some examples of ways to be considerate:\\nHold doors open for people\\nPull out chairs for people\\nMake room for people who sit next to you\\nLet older people take your seat if you're on a bus or a train\\nPick up coffee for a fellow coworker if you're going on a coffee run\\nHelp your parents out by doing extra chores when they are clearly overwhelmed\\nRun an errand for a significant other or roommate\\n3-2. Have good manners.\\nAnother part of being considerate is demonstrating good manners. If you want to be considerate of others, then you can't be rude, loud, or annoying in social situations. You don't have to be prince charming, but you should be able to have basic good manners so that the people around you feel comfortable and cared for. Whether you're hanging out with your friends or hanging out at your Grandma's 80th birthday party, you should demonstrate good manners, even if the meaning of \\\"good manners\\\" changes slightly depending on your audience. Here are some ways to have good manners:\\nAvoid cursing or being overly vulgar\\nIf you burp, excuse yourself\\nPut a napkin on your lap when you eat and avoid getting food all over yourself\\nDon't loudly slurp your drink\\nMake room for people on the sidewalk\\nAvoid gross or inappropriate topics in front of the wrong audience\\n3-3. Share.\\nAnother way to be considerate is to share with others. Maybe you brought a delicious box of your mother's cookies to lunch and can't wait to devour them all, but you should ask your coworkers if they want any. Maybe you brought some awesome stickers to school that you can't wait to use to decorate your notebook. Well, ask your friends if they want in on the fun! You can also share your clothes, your space, or something else that means something to you with the people around you. Remember that, if you're sharing something you don't really care about, then it's not really sharing.\\nSharing isn't just for little kids and siblings. It's an important quality of a considerate person at any age.\\n3-4. Be punctual.\\nOne of the most inconsiderate things you can do is to act like your time is more important than someone else's. You may not be doing this intentionally, but if you show up late — especially if you make a habit of it — then this is sending people the message that you don't really care about their time. Whether you show up five minutes late to class, half an hour late to work, or you show up forty-five minutes late to meeting a friend for lunch, this is definitely going to make the other person feel annoyed and like you don't care about his or her time.\\nOf course, if you're going to a party or an event with a lot of people, then showing up exactly on time may not matter — in fact, getting to a party the second it starts can actually be a bit awkward. But if it's you keeping another person or two waiting, then that is just plain inconsiderate.\\nIf you know that you're going to be late, don't lie about your location (\\\"I'm just a few blocks away!\\\") because you think that'll make it better. Be honest about the fact that you're running 10 or 15 minutes late.\\n3-5. Do random acts of kindness.\\nThis is another part of being considerate. Instead of just being considerate of the people you know and love, you can also be considerate of complete strangers, especially those who could use a bit of attention. You can hold doors for people, put some money in the tip jar at your local coffee house, give a compliment to a person you pass on the street, give your parking ticket with an hour left over on it to a person who just entered the parking lot, or help carry an old lady's groceries to her car.\\nMaking a habit of looking for opportunities when you can help people will make you a more considerate person.\\nOf course, you have to make sure the person truly welcomes the random act of kindness. You don't want to overwhelm someone who wants to be left alone.\\n3-6. Keep your space clean.\\nIt's important to keep your space clean, whether you want to be a considerate house guest, a considerate roommate or family member, or just a considerate human being. If you live by yourself, then it's a good idea to maintain a clean space anyway, but you should be especially considerate of other people around you. Make your bed, throw out your trash, do your dishes, and don't leave other people to do it for you. This is an important part of being considerate at any age.\\nPeople who are inconsiderate expect the world to revolve around them, and expect people to clean up their trash for them. This shows that they think they are more important than other people and expect that others will act accordingly. You don't want to be this person.\\nTips\\nBe patient with trying to learn this new personality trait!\\nGo out of your way to do nice things for people.\\nPractice makes (almost) perfect!\\nWarnings\\nConsideration's good, just don't be blind either and be lured into traps! If you feel like someone is taking advantage of your consideration or telling you to do something that seems dangerous, embarrassing or illegal, stop immediately and tell some one you trust!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being considerate means that you try your best to treat others kindly. To be truly considerate, you have to know how to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to have tact, and to be kind and gracious. Sometimes, we can get caught up in our own needs and wants and can forget that there are other people around who may be hurt or offended by our actions. Making a decision to be considerate can help us be aware of the people around us while still asserting our needs. If you want to know how to be a more considerate person, see Step 1 to be on your way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning Empathy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in someone else's shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Before you talk to your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or teacher, ask yourself how that person might be feeling just then. Maybe you're mad at your roommate and want to tell her she's too messy, or you want to ask your best friend to stop calling you so much. Well, before you have a conversation about how you really feel, you need to think about how the other person would react, and to put yourself in their frame of mind. While you shouldn't have to change what you want to say completely to suit another person's needs, thinking of the situation from the other person's perspective can help you best articulate what you want to say while minimizing hurt feelings.\\nMaybe your roommate is really messy, but she's also the one who does all of the grocery shopping. You should find a way to compliment her good qualities as well as her bad ones so she doesn't get defensive or feel like you don't appreciate her as a roommate.\\nMaybe your best friend is calling a lot because she's been lonely ever since her boyfriend broke up with her. You can still say what you want to say, but be considerate of her feelings and try to think of it from her perspective before you proceed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Anticipate the needs of others.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being considerate is knowing what people will need before they even realize it themselves. If you're going out for lunch with your coworkers, put down enough napkins for everybody. If you're going to the beach with some friends, bring an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband is going to have a late night at the office, leave some dinner waiting for him in the fridge. Keep an eye out for what people need, even before they realize it themselves, in order to be a truly considerate person.\\nPeople will be grateful and impressed by your thoughtfulness.\\nYou shouldn't do this because you want something in exchange, but because you genuinely want to help people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of others when you're in public.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people tend not to think of their surroundings when they're out and about in public. The next time you're out, think about how what you're doing may be perceived by other people, and how they would react. You may think that loudly talking to your best friend on the phone at a coffee shop where everyone else is trying to study is inoffensive, when in reality, you may be driving the people around you crazy. Here are some other ways to make sure you're being considerate in public:\\nTry to keep your voice at a normal level, whether you're on the phone or talking to friends\\nAvoid taking up too much space\\nIf you're in class, avoid unwrapping something loudly or shuffling around so much that you cause a distraction\\nLook where you're going instead of texting and walking\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of other people's financial situations.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask your friends or people you know to pony up for something, you should consider their financial situation as much as you can. If your friend is broke, don't suggest that you go out for dinner at the fanciest place in town — unless it's your treat. You may not think about this if your finances are settled, but you don't want to put other people in an uncomfortable situation because they can't afford to pay. Here are some ways to make sure you're being considerate of other people's financial situations:\\nIf you're throwing a wedding, think about your guests. Can your bridesmaids really afford $200 dresses, or a trip to a bachelorette party in Tahiti? Can your guests really pay to fly across the country to celebrate you? Of course, it should be your event, but you should make sure that the people involved don't have to break their bank account to participate.\\nIf you're hanging out with people who don't have a lot of money, find cheaper things to do, like going to happy hour or a dive bar or watching a fun movie instead of going clubbing or going to the theatre. Don't embarrass people by making them admit that they can't afford to do things.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Considerate in Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose your timing carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being considerate is knowing the best time that you should say something. The most innocuous comment can come off as offensive if you say it at the wrong time. Make sure that the person or people you are talking to are in the right frame of mind to be receptive to your comment, and that you're not interrupting anything or causing complications with what you're saying. Here are some ideas for choosing your timing:\\nFor example, maybe you have some great news to share, like you recently got engaged. This news can be perfect for brunch with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about his mother's funeral, then you should absolutely hold off on your big news.\\nOn the other hand, if you have some bad news to deliver, make sure the person is in the right frame of mind as well. If your friend is gushing about her pregnancy, it's not the time to talk about how you just got dumped.\\nIf you have to give negative feedback to a coworker, make sure you to it when the person isn't caught off guard. Set up a time to talk to the person instead of casually giving negative feedback when the person least expects it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your words carefully.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be considerate, then you have to know that the words you use are just as important as the message you're trying to send. If you want people to be receptive and to not feel bad, then you have to carefully think of the words you'll use when you're speaking. Whether you're finding a delicate way to give negative feedback or even finding the right way to praise somebody, it's important to remember that words do matter. Here are some things to consider as you choose your words:\\nEven if you're giving negative feedback, you can find a delicate way to phrase it. You can tell a coworker he \\\"could be more efficient\\\" instead of saying he's \\\"slow\\\" or you can tell a needy best friend that you feel overwhelmed by her instead of saying she is \\\"clingy\\\" or \\\"needy.\\\"\\nYou can also make your message sound less offensive if you don't directly use the word \\\"you\\\" all the time. For example, instead of telling your boyfriend, \\\"You are so paranoid,\\\" you can say, \\\"I worry about the trust issues in our relationship.\\\" This still gets the message across without making your boyfriend feel like you're pointing a finger at him.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't monopolize conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Another thing inconsiderate people tend to do is to talk on and on without realizing that other people couldn't care less. It's one thing if you have a great story to tell, but if you're always the person who is talking and talking and don't let other people have their say, then it's definitely not considerate. The next time you talk in a group or individual setting, be aware of how much you're talking as opposed to everyone else. Make sure you give other people a chance to talk, ask how they are doing, and how they're feeling. This is very considerate.\\nIf you have a quick chat with a friend in the halls or at lunch, make sure you both have time to say what's up. If you just tell your friend all about your day and what you're doing next weekend and then say goodbye, that's not very considerate.\\nYou should also be considerate when you think about the subject you're discussing. Would your co-workers really want to hear about your drama with your best friend they've never met? Or would your best friend really want to hear a long discussion about the meeting you had at work?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank people.\", \"描述\": \"It's also considerate to be able to thank people truly and honestly for something they have done for you. This could be something big, like letting you crash with them for three weeks while you looked for an apartment, or something smaller, like picking up coffee for you. No matter how small the deed, it's important to thank people so that they know that you appreciate them, and understand that you don't just expect people to do nice things for you. Make eye contact and give the person 100% of your attention when you say thank you so that you show that you truly mean it.\\nIf you were an extended house guest at a friend's house or a friend or person did something really nice for you, send or give him or her a bottle of wine or a gift basket to show that you really care. Sometimes, just saying \\\"Thanks!\\\" isn't enough.\\nGet in the habit of writing thank-you cards to show your appreciation. This is a thoughtful and oft-forgotten gesture.\\nYou can also go beyond just saying \\\"thank you\\\" and explain how much the person's action meant to you. For example, you can say something like, \\\"Jackie, thank you so much for cooking dinner for me the other night. I was so stressed out with work that day, and you really helped calm me down.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize when you've made a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Even considerate people can have flaws. If you've made a mistake, whether you've truly hurt someone or accidentally run into someone, you should make sure to apologize for your actions. Don't just say \\\"Sorry\\\" and look away like you couldn't care less; make a point of making eye contact, telling the person how sorry you really are, and mentioning that it won't happen again. Taking accountability for something is much more considerate than brushing it under the rug because you hope it'll just go away on its own. Though apologizing can be unpleasant, the other person will appreciate it.\\nPeople who are considerate known when to apologize because they're aware when they've hurt someone's feelings, even if they didn't mean to do it. If you've hurt someone, don't say something like, \\\"I'm sorry you felt bad when I...\\\" This kind of language actually blames the other person and avoids responsibility.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be tactful.\", \"描述\": \"Having tact is an important part of being considerate. Being tactful means knowing how to make a point without offending the people around you; it doesn't mean that you have to lie to get your point across. To have tact, you have to know how to give feedback or criticism in a kind, thoughtful way that gets the message across without causing any hurt feelings. You also have to be an active listener and be aware of the people around you so you can make sure they respond in a favorable way.\\nIf you end up offending people, then they'll be much less receptive to your criticism. Giving information in a kinder way will make people feel better and will make them more likely to change; it's a win-win situation.\\nFor example, if you want to tell your co-worker that he has been working slowly, you can say something like, \\\"I think your projects are always so detail-oriented and thorough. However, I'm wondering if there's a way that you can maintain the quality of your work while boosting your efficiency a bit.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting Considerate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do nice things for people when you see they need help.\", \"描述\": \"Being considerate means recognizing when someone would need your help before they even ask for it. This can be anything from opening a door for a person on crutches to picking up lunch for your best friend when she's having a stressful day cramming for an exam. As long as you don't give help to people who really don't want it, you will be acting considerate. Keep an eye out for situations, big or small, when you could really help a person out. Always be observant to see if someone needs something, even if he or she is afraid to ask for it. Here are some examples of ways to be considerate:\\nHold doors open for people\\nPull out chairs for people\\nMake room for people who sit next to you\\nLet older people take your seat if you're on a bus or a train\\nPick up coffee for a fellow coworker if you're going on a coffee run\\nHelp your parents out by doing extra chores when they are clearly overwhelmed\\nRun an errand for a significant other or roommate\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Another part of being considerate is demonstrating good manners. If you want to be considerate of others, then you can't be rude, loud, or annoying in social situations. You don't have to be prince charming, but you should be able to have basic good manners so that the people around you feel comfortable and cared for. Whether you're hanging out with your friends or hanging out at your Grandma's 80th birthday party, you should demonstrate good manners, even if the meaning of \\\"good manners\\\" changes slightly depending on your audience. Here are some ways to have good manners:\\nAvoid cursing or being overly vulgar\\nIf you burp, excuse yourself\\nPut a napkin on your lap when you eat and avoid getting food all over yourself\\nDon't loudly slurp your drink\\nMake room for people on the sidewalk\\nAvoid gross or inappropriate topics in front of the wrong audience\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be considerate is to share with others. Maybe you brought a delicious box of your mother's cookies to lunch and can't wait to devour them all, but you should ask your coworkers if they want any. Maybe you brought some awesome stickers to school that you can't wait to use to decorate your notebook. Well, ask your friends if they want in on the fun! You can also share your clothes, your space, or something else that means something to you with the people around you. Remember that, if you're sharing something you don't really care about, then it's not really sharing.\\nSharing isn't just for little kids and siblings. It's an important quality of a considerate person at any age.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be punctual.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most inconsiderate things you can do is to act like your time is more important than someone else's. You may not be doing this intentionally, but if you show up late — especially if you make a habit of it — then this is sending people the message that you don't really care about their time. Whether you show up five minutes late to class, half an hour late to work, or you show up forty-five minutes late to meeting a friend for lunch, this is definitely going to make the other person feel annoyed and like you don't care about his or her time.\\nOf course, if you're going to a party or an event with a lot of people, then showing up exactly on time may not matter — in fact, getting to a party the second it starts can actually be a bit awkward. But if it's you keeping another person or two waiting, then that is just plain inconsiderate.\\nIf you know that you're going to be late, don't lie about your location (\\\"I'm just a few blocks away!\\\") because you think that'll make it better. Be honest about the fact that you're running 10 or 15 minutes late.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do random acts of kindness.\", \"描述\": \"This is another part of being considerate. Instead of just being considerate of the people you know and love, you can also be considerate of complete strangers, especially those who could use a bit of attention. You can hold doors for people, put some money in the tip jar at your local coffee house, give a compliment to a person you pass on the street, give your parking ticket with an hour left over on it to a person who just entered the parking lot, or help carry an old lady's groceries to her car.\\nMaking a habit of looking for opportunities when you can help people will make you a more considerate person.\\nOf course, you have to make sure the person truly welcomes the random act of kindness. You don't want to overwhelm someone who wants to be left alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your space clean.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to keep your space clean, whether you want to be a considerate house guest, a considerate roommate or family member, or just a considerate human being. If you live by yourself, then it's a good idea to maintain a clean space anyway, but you should be especially considerate of other people around you. Make your bed, throw out your trash, do your dishes, and don't leave other people to do it for you. This is an important part of being considerate at any age.\\nPeople who are inconsiderate expect the world to revolve around them, and expect people to clean up their trash for them. This shows that they think they are more important than other people and expect that others will act accordingly. You don't want to be this person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be patient with trying to learn this new personality trait!\\n\", \"Go out of your way to do nice things for people.\\n\", \"Practice makes (almost) perfect!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Consideration's good, just don't be blind either and be lured into traps! If you feel like someone is taking advantage of your consideration or telling you to do something that seems dangerous, embarrassing or illegal, stop immediately and tell some one you trust!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,646 | How to Be Considerate on Public Transport | 1. Have your ticket or money in your hand.
Be prepared to board as soon as the bus or train gets to you.
If you have a fare card, keep it in your hand so you can tap it or swipe it as you board. If you’re paying with cash, get your exact change ready to purchase a ticket before boarding.
The same goes if you’re using an electronic ticket: have it pulled up with the barcode ready on your phone.
2. Let passengers exit before boarding.
That way, you won’t clog up the bus or the train.
Before you head on, let anyone getting off step out first. Once they’re clear, you can go ahead and board.
If you’re with a lot of other people waiting to board, consider forming an orderly line. That way, no one has to push or shove to get on.
3. Wear a mask if you’re required to.
Masks are required during the COVID-19 pandemic.
If you’re riding public transit, be sure you have a mask on before you board. If you don’t have one, you might not be allowed onto the vehicle.
You might also want to bring along some hand sanitizer to use after you touch door handles or benches on the bus or train.
4. Sit down if there are seats available.
Standing up can block the aisles and open seats.
If there are any available seats, feel free to sit down and take a load off. If there aren’t, keep standing up but grab a hand rail so you don’t fall over.
If there aren’t many people on the bus or train, look for seats that don’t have anyone else sitting nearby. If the bus or train is a little crowded, it’s fine to sit down next to a stranger.
5. Don’t block the aisles or the doors.
This goes for you and any items you have with you.
Try not to stand in front of the doors, and move strollers and bikes out of the aisles if you can. Fold up your walkers or carts and place them under the seat until your ride is over.
Some buses and trains have special bike hooks that you can hang your bike on for the duration of your ride.
If you’re standing near a pole, try not to lean on it. If you block it off, other passengers won’t be able to grab it to keep from falling over.
6. Put your bag or backpack in your lap or under your seat.
Your purse or bag doesn’t need a seat of its own.
Even if the vehicle isn’t super crowded, it’s polite to keep all the seats open for passengers who want them. If your bag or backpack is too big to hold on your lap, shove it underneath your seat.
If you couldn’t grab a seat and you’re standing up, make sure your bag or backpack isn’t in the way of the aisle. You can hold it in front of you or keep it down near your feet if you need to.
7. Keep your pet in a carrier.
Pets are allowed on most trains or busses in carriers.
If you’re bringing a pet on board, make sure they’re sitting quietly in a crate or a carrier that you can hold on your lap. If they make a mess on board, be prepared to clean it up before you leave.
If your pet is a service animal, they don’t have to be in a carrier. Make sure you have identification for them just in case you’re questioned by the driver.
8. Give up your seat to those who need it more.
Elderly, disabled, and pregnant passengers might need to sit down.
If someone boards and they can’t find a seat, consider giving up your own for them. It’s the nice thing to do!
Some buses and trains have priority seating near the front or the back. You can sit in these seats if you’d like to, but you have to give them up if an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person gets on the bus.
9. Don’t push or shove anyone out of the way.
Instead, just say “excuse me.”
If the bus or train is pretty full, you might get jostled back and forth a bit. However, pushing and shoving won’t help anything, and it probably won’t make your neighboring passengers very happy, either.
10. Keep your voice down.
You’re in a small area, and loud noises travel pretty far.
Try not to yell over other people in the vehicle, and don’t take phone calls if you can avoid it. If you have to talk on the phone, keep your voice down and make the call as short as possible.
11. Wear headphones if you want to listen to music.
Loud music can disturb other passengers.
If you’d like to chill out while you ride, bring headphones or earbuds and keep the volume down low. Don’t use speakers on public transportation, since those can be disruptive.
The same rules apply if you’re going to watch a video on your phone or tablet, too. Headphones or earbuds are a must!
12. Don’t talk to the driver while the vehicle is in motion.
It’s dangerous to distract the driver.
If you need to alert them about something, press the emergency button on the inside of the bus or the train. Otherwise, don’t bother them while they’re doing their job.
Feel free to say thank you as you get off the bus, though! Bus drivers really appreciate that small act of kindness.
13. Don’t eat while riding.
Harsh smells can be a little much for a small bus or train.
If you’re taking food onto the public transport, keep it sealed in an airtight container until you get off. Most public transit doesn’t allow eating or drinking on their vehicles, so it’s better safe than sorry.
It’s totally fine to take a sip of water while you’re on a long train or bus ride.
If you have any wrappers, save them in your pocket until you get to a trash can. Don’t litter on the bus or the train.
Don’t smoke on the bus or train, either. Most public transportation agencies have banned this as well.
14. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
Try not to spread your germs to everyone else around you.
If you have to cough or sneeze, cover your mouth and nose with your elbow (not your hand). Bring a tissue with you just in case your nose starts to run, and try not to touch other passengers if you’re sick.
Sneezing or coughing into your hand can still spread germs. When you sneeze or cough into your hand and then touch a door handle or seat, it’s the same as if you just sneezed everywhere.
Tips
Keep your feet off the seats to avoid dirtying them for other passengers.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Have your ticket or money in your hand.\\nBe prepared to board as soon as the bus or train gets to you.\\nIf you have a fare card, keep it in your hand so you can tap it or swipe it as you board. If you’re paying with cash, get your exact change ready to purchase a ticket before boarding.\\nThe same goes if you’re using an electronic ticket: have it pulled up with the barcode ready on your phone.\\n2. Let passengers exit before boarding.\\nThat way, you won’t clog up the bus or the train.\\nBefore you head on, let anyone getting off step out first. Once they’re clear, you can go ahead and board.\\nIf you’re with a lot of other people waiting to board, consider forming an orderly line. That way, no one has to push or shove to get on.\\n3. Wear a mask if you’re required to.\\nMasks are required during the COVID-19 pandemic.\\nIf you’re riding public transit, be sure you have a mask on before you board. If you don’t have one, you might not be allowed onto the vehicle.\\nYou might also want to bring along some hand sanitizer to use after you touch door handles or benches on the bus or train.\\n4. Sit down if there are seats available.\\nStanding up can block the aisles and open seats.\\nIf there are any available seats, feel free to sit down and take a load off. If there aren’t, keep standing up but grab a hand rail so you don’t fall over.\\nIf there aren’t many people on the bus or train, look for seats that don’t have anyone else sitting nearby. If the bus or train is a little crowded, it’s fine to sit down next to a stranger.\\n5. Don’t block the aisles or the doors.\\nThis goes for you and any items you have with you.\\nTry not to stand in front of the doors, and move strollers and bikes out of the aisles if you can. Fold up your walkers or carts and place them under the seat until your ride is over.\\nSome buses and trains have special bike hooks that you can hang your bike on for the duration of your ride.\\nIf you’re standing near a pole, try not to lean on it. If you block it off, other passengers won’t be able to grab it to keep from falling over.\\n6. Put your bag or backpack in your lap or under your seat.\\nYour purse or bag doesn’t need a seat of its own.\\nEven if the vehicle isn’t super crowded, it’s polite to keep all the seats open for passengers who want them. If your bag or backpack is too big to hold on your lap, shove it underneath your seat.\\nIf you couldn’t grab a seat and you’re standing up, make sure your bag or backpack isn’t in the way of the aisle. You can hold it in front of you or keep it down near your feet if you need to.\\n7. Keep your pet in a carrier.\\nPets are allowed on most trains or busses in carriers.\\nIf you’re bringing a pet on board, make sure they’re sitting quietly in a crate or a carrier that you can hold on your lap. If they make a mess on board, be prepared to clean it up before you leave.\\nIf your pet is a service animal, they don’t have to be in a carrier. Make sure you have identification for them just in case you’re questioned by the driver.\\n8. Give up your seat to those who need it more.\\nElderly, disabled, and pregnant passengers might need to sit down.\\nIf someone boards and they can’t find a seat, consider giving up your own for them. It’s the nice thing to do!\\nSome buses and trains have priority seating near the front or the back. You can sit in these seats if you’d like to, but you have to give them up if an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person gets on the bus.\\n9. Don’t push or shove anyone out of the way.\\nInstead, just say “excuse me.”\\nIf the bus or train is pretty full, you might get jostled back and forth a bit. However, pushing and shoving won’t help anything, and it probably won’t make your neighboring passengers very happy, either.\\n10. Keep your voice down.\\nYou’re in a small area, and loud noises travel pretty far.\\nTry not to yell over other people in the vehicle, and don’t take phone calls if you can avoid it. If you have to talk on the phone, keep your voice down and make the call as short as possible.\\n11. Wear headphones if you want to listen to music.\\nLoud music can disturb other passengers.\\nIf you’d like to chill out while you ride, bring headphones or earbuds and keep the volume down low. Don’t use speakers on public transportation, since those can be disruptive.\\nThe same rules apply if you’re going to watch a video on your phone or tablet, too. Headphones or earbuds are a must!\\n12. Don’t talk to the driver while the vehicle is in motion.\\nIt’s dangerous to distract the driver.\\nIf you need to alert them about something, press the emergency button on the inside of the bus or the train. Otherwise, don’t bother them while they’re doing their job.\\nFeel free to say thank you as you get off the bus, though! Bus drivers really appreciate that small act of kindness.\\n13. Don’t eat while riding.\\nHarsh smells can be a little much for a small bus or train.\\nIf you’re taking food onto the public transport, keep it sealed in an airtight container until you get off. Most public transit doesn’t allow eating or drinking on their vehicles, so it’s better safe than sorry.\\nIt’s totally fine to take a sip of water while you’re on a long train or bus ride.\\nIf you have any wrappers, save them in your pocket until you get to a trash can. Don’t litter on the bus or the train.\\nDon’t smoke on the bus or train, either. Most public transportation agencies have banned this as well.\\n14. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.\\nTry not to spread your germs to everyone else around you.\\nIf you have to cough or sneeze, cover your mouth and nose with your elbow (not your hand). Bring a tissue with you just in case your nose starts to run, and try not to touch other passengers if you’re sick.\\nSneezing or coughing into your hand can still spread germs. When you sneeze or cough into your hand and then touch a door handle or seat, it’s the same as if you just sneezed everywhere.\\nTips\\nKeep your feet off the seats to avoid dirtying them for other passengers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you haven’t taken public transportation in a while, remembering how to behave might be a little tough. Whether you’re taking a bus, train, tram, or metro, being considerate on public transportation can make your ride (and everyone else’s) a whole lot smoother. Brush up on the etiquette surrounding public transport before you head out for a safe, enjoyable trip.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have your ticket or money in your hand.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to board as soon as the bus or train gets to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a fare card, keep it in your hand so you can tap it or swipe it as you board. If you’re paying with cash, get your exact change ready to purchase a ticket before boarding.\\nThe same goes if you’re using an electronic ticket: have it pulled up with the barcode ready on your phone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let passengers exit before boarding.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"That way, you won’t clog up the bus or the train.\", \"描述\": \"Before you head on, let anyone getting off step out first. Once they’re clear, you can go ahead and board.\\nIf you’re with a lot of other people waiting to board, consider forming an orderly line. That way, no one has to push or shove to get on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear a mask if you’re required to.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Masks are required during the COVID-19 pandemic.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re riding public transit, be sure you have a mask on before you board. If you don’t have one, you might not be allowed onto the vehicle.\\nYou might also want to bring along some hand sanitizer to use after you touch door handles or benches on the bus or train.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sit down if there are seats available.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Standing up can block the aisles and open seats.\", \"描述\": \"If there are any available seats, feel free to sit down and take a load off. If there aren’t, keep standing up but grab a hand rail so you don’t fall over.\\nIf there aren’t many people on the bus or train, look for seats that don’t have anyone else sitting nearby. If the bus or train is a little crowded, it’s fine to sit down next to a stranger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t block the aisles or the doors.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This goes for you and any items you have with you.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to stand in front of the doors, and move strollers and bikes out of the aisles if you can. Fold up your walkers or carts and place them under the seat until your ride is over.\\nSome buses and trains have special bike hooks that you can hang your bike on for the duration of your ride.\\nIf you’re standing near a pole, try not to lean on it. If you block it off, other passengers won’t be able to grab it to keep from falling over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put your bag or backpack in your lap or under your seat.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your purse or bag doesn’t need a seat of its own.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the vehicle isn’t super crowded, it’s polite to keep all the seats open for passengers who want them. If your bag or backpack is too big to hold on your lap, shove it underneath your seat.\\nIf you couldn’t grab a seat and you’re standing up, make sure your bag or backpack isn’t in the way of the aisle. You can hold it in front of you or keep it down near your feet if you need to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep your pet in a carrier.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pets are allowed on most trains or busses in carriers.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re bringing a pet on board, make sure they’re sitting quietly in a crate or a carrier that you can hold on your lap. If they make a mess on board, be prepared to clean it up before you leave.\\nIf your pet is a service animal, they don’t have to be in a carrier. Make sure you have identification for them just in case you’re questioned by the driver.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give up your seat to those who need it more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Elderly, disabled, and pregnant passengers might need to sit down.\", \"描述\": \"If someone boards and they can’t find a seat, consider giving up your own for them. It’s the nice thing to do!\\nSome buses and trains have priority seating near the front or the back. You can sit in these seats if you’d like to, but you have to give them up if an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person gets on the bus.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t push or shove anyone out of the way.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Instead, just say “excuse me.”\", \"描述\": \"If the bus or train is pretty full, you might get jostled back and forth a bit. However, pushing and shoving won’t help anything, and it probably won’t make your neighboring passengers very happy, either.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep your voice down.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’re in a small area, and loud noises travel pretty far.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to yell over other people in the vehicle, and don’t take phone calls if you can avoid it. If you have to talk on the phone, keep your voice down and make the call as short as possible.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Wear headphones if you want to listen to music.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Loud music can disturb other passengers.\", \"描述\": \"If you’d like to chill out while you ride, bring headphones or earbuds and keep the volume down low. Don’t use speakers on public transportation, since those can be disruptive.\\nThe same rules apply if you’re going to watch a video on your phone or tablet, too. Headphones or earbuds are a must!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Don’t talk to the driver while the vehicle is in motion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s dangerous to distract the driver.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to alert them about something, press the emergency button on the inside of the bus or the train. Otherwise, don’t bother them while they’re doing their job.\\nFeel free to say thank you as you get off the bus, though! Bus drivers really appreciate that small act of kindness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Don’t eat while riding.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Harsh smells can be a little much for a small bus or train.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re taking food onto the public transport, keep it sealed in an airtight container until you get off. Most public transit doesn’t allow eating or drinking on their vehicles, so it’s better safe than sorry.\\nIt’s totally fine to take a sip of water while you’re on a long train or bus ride.\\nIf you have any wrappers, save them in your pocket until you get to a trash can. Don’t litter on the bus or the train.\\nDon’t smoke on the bus or train, either. Most public transportation agencies have banned this as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to spread your germs to everyone else around you.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to cough or sneeze, cover your mouth and nose with your elbow (not your hand). Bring a tissue with you just in case your nose starts to run, and try not to touch other passengers if you’re sick.\\nSneezing or coughing into your hand can still spread germs. When you sneeze or cough into your hand and then touch a door handle or seat, it’s the same as if you just sneezed everywhere.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep your feet off the seats to avoid dirtying them for other passengers.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,647 | How to Be Consistent | 1. Implementing Consistent Practices
1-1. Create specific and realistic goals.
It’s hard to be consistent if you don’t have a strong idea of what you need to do. When starting your new path, create easy, simple goals with specific, measurable results.
Start by defining what consistency means to you. Do you need to be consistent about your exercise habits? Are you aiming for a higher quality of work? Do you want to be more available and reliable in your relationships?
Once you’ve identified your end goal, come up with smaller steps to reach it. For example, if you want to become more physically fit, you might set the goal to exercise for 5 days out of the week or to sign up for a class.
Be specific. Instead of saying "I'm going to consistently appreciate my significant other," you might say "I'm going to thank my significant other when they wash the dishes, make dinner, or help out around the house."
1-2. Create a schedule for yourself.
It can be easy to pile on tasks and promises, but a calendar, planner, or schedule will keep you on track. A schedule will help you plan your day so that you get everything done on time. It will also help you understand what commitments you do and do not have time for.
Use a paper planner or a desk calendar. Alternatively, download a scheduling app on your phone, like Google Calendar or Outlook.
Block off realistic amounts of time for each task. If you’re uncertain how long a task will take, give yourself extra time to complete it.
For larger goals, like writing a book or losing weight, set small, daily tasks that you can do to work towards this goal. For example, you might set a daily word count to achieve or plan specific meals to eat each day.
Don’t forget to plan in breaks as well! Don’t schedule anything else for that day or time.
1-3. Place reminders around your home, workspace, and belongings.
Sometimes, it is easy to forget our new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas.
Write down your goals on post-it notes and place them on your mirror, computer, refrigerator, car dashboard, and planner.
Slip a piece of paper with your goals into your wallet, desk drawer, or purse.
If you are trying implement a daily practice, put a reminder on your phone. Set an alarm or use a reminder app to alert you when you need to do it.
1-4. Make promises only if you can keep them.
Consistency often involves making commitments and keeping them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no.
For example, if you tell your significant other that you're going to handle half of the chores, make sure that you have time after work to actually do them.
In some cases, you may be able to negotiate a promise that you will be able to keep. For example, if someone asks you to help them move, you can say, “Well, I can’t make it before 3 PM, but I could swing by after. Does that work?”
This includes making promises to yourself. If you know it is unrealistic for you to write 10 pages a day for your new novel, promise yourself that you'll just write at least a little bit each day.
1-5. Reward yourself when you get something done.
If you do complete your goals, give yourself a reward. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process.
For example, if you’ve managed to complete your work by 5 pm every day for a week, take an evening off. Go see a movie or treat yourself to a special dinner.
If you’re training for a marathon and you’ve managed to hit your daily exercise goals, sign up for a 5k to give you a sense of your success.
If you’ve managed to improve your relationships by being more consistent, your friendships may be the reward. If you’re proud of yourself, take your friends out or host a dinner.
2. Maintaining Consistency
2-1. Keep going if you make a mistake.
Even the most consistent and well-organized people slip up sometimes. Plan for potential failure, and don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake along the way.
Just because you had to cancel an appointment, break a promise, or pass a deadline doesn’t mean you’re not consistent. Sometimes, despite our best planning, external factors can get in the way.
Plan for your setbacks and failures. If a literary agent rejects your manuscript, figure out where next to send it, or look it over to see what might be improved.
Consistency doesn't equal perfection. If you miss a day at the gym or fail to read your child a book at night, encourage yourself to start again the very next day.
2-2. Take time off to recharge.
Consistency doesn’t mean that you are working all of the time. In fact, if you give yourself time off, you’ll improve your productivity and avoid burning out. Schedule in time for yourself, and don’t let work or other commitments get in the way.
For example, you might give yourself an hour each evening to read, take a bath, or watch TV. Don’t work during this time.
Meditation is a great way to quiet your brain and give yourself some peace. Practice meditating for at least 5 minutes each day and work your way up to 15 minutes at a time.
Don't push aside your personal time if you have other responsibilities. For example, if you need Saturday mornings to sleep in, don't promise your significant other that you'll wake up to mow your lawn. Tell them you'll do it on another day or time (and make sure to come through on this promise!).
2-3. Use motivational tools to keep going even when you don’t feel like it.
When you’re tired or stressed, it can be easy just to let your goals slide for a day, but these actions can quickly cause you to get off track. If you’re feeling down or lazy, try to find new sources of motivation.
Space out small rewards throughout the day to keep you going. For example, if you’re writing a long paper, give yourself a 5 minute break every time you finish a page or 2.
Remind yourself of your long-term goals. Tell yourself that if you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to get this task done. For example, instead of saying, “I really don’t want to write those reports,” you might think, “Once I get those reports done, I’ll have time to do something else."
If you're having a difficult day, make a compromise with yourself. For example, if you want to eat healthy more consistently but you can’t bring yourself to cook, pick up a salad instead of fast food.
2-4. Hold yourself accountable.
To be consistent you have to make sure that you recognize when you don't reach the standards and goals that you've set. In these moments, consider if your goals are realistic or ask yourself what you can do to improve.
On your schedule or calendar, check off tasks that you have completed. This will give you a sense of satisfaction. It will also help you realize what you can realistically accomplish in 1 day.
Ask a friend, family member, mentor, or coworker to be your accountability partner. Have them check in once a week to see what your progress is like. If they see you not behaving consistently, give them permission to call you out.
Don't beat yourself up when you don't hit the mark. What matters is that you keep working towards your goals and towards consistency.
3. Changing Your Thinking
3-1. Give yourself time to see changes.
Whenever you try to establish new habits, understand that it can take time. Instead of uprooting your life with several new practices at once, allow yourself time to figure out what works. Be realistic with what you can expect to see over time.
It usually takes 3 weeks of consistently doing something to make a new habit. Every three weeks, set a small goal to attain in that time period. Don’t tackle too much. Start with small rituals and build your way up.
3-2. Set boundaries
Boundaries make it easier to keep commitments because you have a specific limit in which to function. Before taking on new tasks or promises, establish what you are willing and able to do as well as what you know you realistically can’t do.
For example, you might establish that you won’t take phone calls during a family dinner. Tell your boss, coworkers, and friends that this time is off limits. Put your phone in another room during dinner.
You can also establish quality markers for yourself. For example, you might tell yourself that you will check your work twice before submitting it to your boss. Give yourself extra time to complete this task so that you achieve consistent quality.
3-3. Build your willpower.
Consistency requires willpower to achieve, because consistency tends to lean towards performing even when you don't feel like it. To do that, you need to have the willpower to do it.
Avoid temptation wherever possible. For example, if you want to be consistent about eating healthy, make sure that you have healthy options on hand for when you're hungry. Don't keep unhealthy food around.
Exhaustion can cause you to skip tasks. Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep a night to keep yourself going.
Remind yourself of the long-term benefits whenever you feel unmotivated. Read over your list of goals for inspiration.
3-4. Eliminate negative thinking.
Negative thinking is the bane of consistency and of willpower. When you think negatively you are making yourself less likely to be able to hold to your consistent actions.
Pay attention to negative thought patterns that will hinder you in the future. Catch yourself if you start thinking "I can't do this" or "I'm stupid."
When you do notice these negative thought patterns, turn them around or introduce a more positive or neutral thought. So for example if you find yourself thinking "I can't do this," turn it around and think, "I'm going to practice doing this, even if I'm not great at it to start with."
If you’re starting to dread a task or goal, revise the the task, goal, or outcome. Break it up into smaller steps or promise yourself a reward when you get it done.
Tips
Sometimes, like when family is in town or when you feel sick, you may have to make adjustments to your schedule and commitments. That is absolutely fine, and you should allow yourself those adjustments.
Remember, it's not very helpful to "be consistent" in general. You have to come up with specific things you want to be consistent in, like "I want to be consistent in my actions towards others," or "I want to be consistent about my eating habits."
Warnings
Don't beat yourself up when you do fail to always be consistent. Remember, no one's perfect, but with practice you can become more consistent about the things that you do.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Implementing Consistent Practices\\n1-1. Create specific and realistic goals.\\nIt’s hard to be consistent if you don’t have a strong idea of what you need to do. When starting your new path, create easy, simple goals with specific, measurable results.\\nStart by defining what consistency means to you. Do you need to be consistent about your exercise habits? Are you aiming for a higher quality of work? Do you want to be more available and reliable in your relationships?\\nOnce you’ve identified your end goal, come up with smaller steps to reach it. For example, if you want to become more physically fit, you might set the goal to exercise for 5 days out of the week or to sign up for a class.\\nBe specific. Instead of saying \\\"I'm going to consistently appreciate my significant other,\\\" you might say \\\"I'm going to thank my significant other when they wash the dishes, make dinner, or help out around the house.\\\"\\n1-2. Create a schedule for yourself.\\nIt can be easy to pile on tasks and promises, but a calendar, planner, or schedule will keep you on track. A schedule will help you plan your day so that you get everything done on time. It will also help you understand what commitments you do and do not have time for.\\nUse a paper planner or a desk calendar. Alternatively, download a scheduling app on your phone, like Google Calendar or Outlook.\\nBlock off realistic amounts of time for each task. If you’re uncertain how long a task will take, give yourself extra time to complete it.\\nFor larger goals, like writing a book or losing weight, set small, daily tasks that you can do to work towards this goal. For example, you might set a daily word count to achieve or plan specific meals to eat each day.\\nDon’t forget to plan in breaks as well! Don’t schedule anything else for that day or time.\\n1-3. Place reminders around your home, workspace, and belongings.\\nSometimes, it is easy to forget our new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas.\\nWrite down your goals on post-it notes and place them on your mirror, computer, refrigerator, car dashboard, and planner.\\nSlip a piece of paper with your goals into your wallet, desk drawer, or purse.\\nIf you are trying implement a daily practice, put a reminder on your phone. Set an alarm or use a reminder app to alert you when you need to do it.\\n1-4. Make promises only if you can keep them.\\nConsistency often involves making commitments and keeping them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no.\\nFor example, if you tell your significant other that you're going to handle half of the chores, make sure that you have time after work to actually do them.\\nIn some cases, you may be able to negotiate a promise that you will be able to keep. For example, if someone asks you to help them move, you can say, “Well, I can’t make it before 3 PM, but I could swing by after. Does that work?”\\nThis includes making promises to yourself. If you know it is unrealistic for you to write 10 pages a day for your new novel, promise yourself that you'll just write at least a little bit each day.\\n1-5. Reward yourself when you get something done.\\nIf you do complete your goals, give yourself a reward. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process.\\nFor example, if you’ve managed to complete your work by 5 pm every day for a week, take an evening off. Go see a movie or treat yourself to a special dinner.\\nIf you’re training for a marathon and you’ve managed to hit your daily exercise goals, sign up for a 5k to give you a sense of your success.\\nIf you’ve managed to improve your relationships by being more consistent, your friendships may be the reward. If you’re proud of yourself, take your friends out or host a dinner.\\n2. Maintaining Consistency\\n2-1. Keep going if you make a mistake.\\nEven the most consistent and well-organized people slip up sometimes. Plan for potential failure, and don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake along the way.\\nJust because you had to cancel an appointment, break a promise, or pass a deadline doesn’t mean you’re not consistent. Sometimes, despite our best planning, external factors can get in the way.\\nPlan for your setbacks and failures. If a literary agent rejects your manuscript, figure out where next to send it, or look it over to see what might be improved.\\nConsistency doesn't equal perfection. If you miss a day at the gym or fail to read your child a book at night, encourage yourself to start again the very next day.\\n2-2. Take time off to recharge.\\nConsistency doesn’t mean that you are working all of the time. In fact, if you give yourself time off, you’ll improve your productivity and avoid burning out. Schedule in time for yourself, and don’t let work or other commitments get in the way.\\nFor example, you might give yourself an hour each evening to read, take a bath, or watch TV. Don’t work during this time.\\n Meditation is a great way to quiet your brain and give yourself some peace. Practice meditating for at least 5 minutes each day and work your way up to 15 minutes at a time.\\nDon't push aside your personal time if you have other responsibilities. For example, if you need Saturday mornings to sleep in, don't promise your significant other that you'll wake up to mow your lawn. Tell them you'll do it on another day or time (and make sure to come through on this promise!).\\n2-3. Use motivational tools to keep going even when you don’t feel like it.\\nWhen you’re tired or stressed, it can be easy just to let your goals slide for a day, but these actions can quickly cause you to get off track. If you’re feeling down or lazy, try to find new sources of motivation.\\nSpace out small rewards throughout the day to keep you going. For example, if you’re writing a long paper, give yourself a 5 minute break every time you finish a page or 2.\\nRemind yourself of your long-term goals. Tell yourself that if you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to get this task done. For example, instead of saying, “I really don’t want to write those reports,” you might think, “Once I get those reports done, I’ll have time to do something else.\\\"\\nIf you're having a difficult day, make a compromise with yourself. For example, if you want to eat healthy more consistently but you can’t bring yourself to cook, pick up a salad instead of fast food.\\n2-4. Hold yourself accountable.\\nTo be consistent you have to make sure that you recognize when you don't reach the standards and goals that you've set. In these moments, consider if your goals are realistic or ask yourself what you can do to improve.\\nOn your schedule or calendar, check off tasks that you have completed. This will give you a sense of satisfaction. It will also help you realize what you can realistically accomplish in 1 day.\\nAsk a friend, family member, mentor, or coworker to be your accountability partner. Have them check in once a week to see what your progress is like. If they see you not behaving consistently, give them permission to call you out.\\nDon't beat yourself up when you don't hit the mark. What matters is that you keep working towards your goals and towards consistency.\\n3. Changing Your Thinking\\n3-1. Give yourself time to see changes.\\nWhenever you try to establish new habits, understand that it can take time. Instead of uprooting your life with several new practices at once, allow yourself time to figure out what works. Be realistic with what you can expect to see over time.\\nIt usually takes 3 weeks of consistently doing something to make a new habit. Every three weeks, set a small goal to attain in that time period. Don’t tackle too much. Start with small rituals and build your way up.\\n3-2. Set boundaries\\nBoundaries make it easier to keep commitments because you have a specific limit in which to function. Before taking on new tasks or promises, establish what you are willing and able to do as well as what you know you realistically can’t do.\\nFor example, you might establish that you won’t take phone calls during a family dinner. Tell your boss, coworkers, and friends that this time is off limits. Put your phone in another room during dinner.\\nYou can also establish quality markers for yourself. For example, you might tell yourself that you will check your work twice before submitting it to your boss. Give yourself extra time to complete this task so that you achieve consistent quality.\\n3-3. Build your willpower.\\nConsistency requires willpower to achieve, because consistency tends to lean towards performing even when you don't feel like it. To do that, you need to have the willpower to do it.\\nAvoid temptation wherever possible. For example, if you want to be consistent about eating healthy, make sure that you have healthy options on hand for when you're hungry. Don't keep unhealthy food around.\\nExhaustion can cause you to skip tasks. Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep a night to keep yourself going.\\nRemind yourself of the long-term benefits whenever you feel unmotivated. Read over your list of goals for inspiration.\\n3-4. Eliminate negative thinking.\\nNegative thinking is the bane of consistency and of willpower. When you think negatively you are making yourself less likely to be able to hold to your consistent actions.\\nPay attention to negative thought patterns that will hinder you in the future. Catch yourself if you start thinking \\\"I can't do this\\\" or \\\"I'm stupid.\\\"\\nWhen you do notice these negative thought patterns, turn them around or introduce a more positive or neutral thought. So for example if you find yourself thinking \\\"I can't do this,\\\" turn it around and think, \\\"I'm going to practice doing this, even if I'm not great at it to start with.\\\"\\nIf you’re starting to dread a task or goal, revise the the task, goal, or outcome. Break it up into smaller steps or promise yourself a reward when you get it done.\\nTips\\nSometimes, like when family is in town or when you feel sick, you may have to make adjustments to your schedule and commitments. That is absolutely fine, and you should allow yourself those adjustments.\\nRemember, it's not very helpful to \\\"be consistent\\\" in general. You have to come up with specific things you want to be consistent in, like \\\"I want to be consistent in my actions towards others,\\\" or \\\"I want to be consistent about my eating habits.\\\"\\nWarnings\\nDon't beat yourself up when you do fail to always be consistent. Remember, no one's perfect, but with practice you can become more consistent about the things that you do.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Consistency is a great characteristic to build and implement in your life. The key to consistency is setting and achieving specific goals. Start by determining how you want to be more consistent in your life, and aim for these small goals. Over time, as you become more consistent, keep yourself motivated and accountable. This may require some change in thinking so that you stay optimistic and productive throughout the process.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Implementing Consistent Practices\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create specific and realistic goals.\", \"描述\": \"It’s hard to be consistent if you don’t have a strong idea of what you need to do. When starting your new path, create easy, simple goals with specific, measurable results.\\nStart by defining what consistency means to you. Do you need to be consistent about your exercise habits? Are you aiming for a higher quality of work? Do you want to be more available and reliable in your relationships?\\nOnce you’ve identified your end goal, come up with smaller steps to reach it. For example, if you want to become more physically fit, you might set the goal to exercise for 5 days out of the week or to sign up for a class.\\nBe specific. Instead of saying \\\"I'm going to consistently appreciate my significant other,\\\" you might say \\\"I'm going to thank my significant other when they wash the dishes, make dinner, or help out around the house.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a schedule for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to pile on tasks and promises, but a calendar, planner, or schedule will keep you on track. A schedule will help you plan your day so that you get everything done on time. It will also help you understand what commitments you do and do not have time for.\\nUse a paper planner or a desk calendar. Alternatively, download a scheduling app on your phone, like Google Calendar or Outlook.\\nBlock off realistic amounts of time for each task. If you’re uncertain how long a task will take, give yourself extra time to complete it.\\nFor larger goals, like writing a book or losing weight, set small, daily tasks that you can do to work towards this goal. For example, you might set a daily word count to achieve or plan specific meals to eat each day.\\nDon’t forget to plan in breaks as well! Don’t schedule anything else for that day or time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Place reminders around your home, workspace, and belongings.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, it is easy to forget our new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas.\\nWrite down your goals on post-it notes and place them on your mirror, computer, refrigerator, car dashboard, and planner.\\nSlip a piece of paper with your goals into your wallet, desk drawer, or purse.\\nIf you are trying implement a daily practice, put a reminder on your phone. Set an alarm or use a reminder app to alert you when you need to do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make promises only if you can keep them.\", \"描述\": \"Consistency often involves making commitments and keeping them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no.\\nFor example, if you tell your significant other that you're going to handle half of the chores, make sure that you have time after work to actually do them.\\nIn some cases, you may be able to negotiate a promise that you will be able to keep. For example, if someone asks you to help them move, you can say, “Well, I can’t make it before 3 PM, but I could swing by after. Does that work?”\\nThis includes making promises to yourself. If you know it is unrealistic for you to write 10 pages a day for your new novel, promise yourself that you'll just write at least a little bit each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself when you get something done.\", \"描述\": \"If you do complete your goals, give yourself a reward. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process.\\nFor example, if you’ve managed to complete your work by 5 pm every day for a week, take an evening off. Go see a movie or treat yourself to a special dinner.\\nIf you’re training for a marathon and you’ve managed to hit your daily exercise goals, sign up for a 5k to give you a sense of your success.\\nIf you’ve managed to improve your relationships by being more consistent, your friendships may be the reward. If you’re proud of yourself, take your friends out or host a dinner.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Consistency\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep going if you make a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Even the most consistent and well-organized people slip up sometimes. Plan for potential failure, and don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake along the way.\\nJust because you had to cancel an appointment, break a promise, or pass a deadline doesn’t mean you’re not consistent. Sometimes, despite our best planning, external factors can get in the way.\\nPlan for your setbacks and failures. If a literary agent rejects your manuscript, figure out where next to send it, or look it over to see what might be improved.\\nConsistency doesn't equal perfection. If you miss a day at the gym or fail to read your child a book at night, encourage yourself to start again the very next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take time off to recharge.\", \"描述\": \"Consistency doesn’t mean that you are working all of the time. In fact, if you give yourself time off, you’ll improve your productivity and avoid burning out. Schedule in time for yourself, and don’t let work or other commitments get in the way.\\nFor example, you might give yourself an hour each evening to read, take a bath, or watch TV. Don’t work during this time.\\n Meditation is a great way to quiet your brain and give yourself some peace. Practice meditating for at least 5 minutes each day and work your way up to 15 minutes at a time.\\nDon't push aside your personal time if you have other responsibilities. For example, if you need Saturday mornings to sleep in, don't promise your significant other that you'll wake up to mow your lawn. Tell them you'll do it on another day or time (and make sure to come through on this promise!).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use motivational tools to keep going even when you don’t feel like it.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re tired or stressed, it can be easy just to let your goals slide for a day, but these actions can quickly cause you to get off track. If you’re feeling down or lazy, try to find new sources of motivation.\\nSpace out small rewards throughout the day to keep you going. For example, if you’re writing a long paper, give yourself a 5 minute break every time you finish a page or 2.\\nRemind yourself of your long-term goals. Tell yourself that if you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to get this task done. For example, instead of saying, “I really don’t want to write those reports,” you might think, “Once I get those reports done, I’ll have time to do something else.\\\"\\nIf you're having a difficult day, make a compromise with yourself. For example, if you want to eat healthy more consistently but you can’t bring yourself to cook, pick up a salad instead of fast food.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself accountable.\", \"描述\": \"To be consistent you have to make sure that you recognize when you don't reach the standards and goals that you've set. In these moments, consider if your goals are realistic or ask yourself what you can do to improve.\\nOn your schedule or calendar, check off tasks that you have completed. This will give you a sense of satisfaction. It will also help you realize what you can realistically accomplish in 1 day.\\nAsk a friend, family member, mentor, or coworker to be your accountability partner. Have them check in once a week to see what your progress is like. If they see you not behaving consistently, give them permission to call you out.\\nDon't beat yourself up when you don't hit the mark. What matters is that you keep working towards your goals and towards consistency.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Thinking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to see changes.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you try to establish new habits, understand that it can take time. Instead of uprooting your life with several new practices at once, allow yourself time to figure out what works. Be realistic with what you can expect to see over time.\\nIt usually takes 3 weeks of consistently doing something to make a new habit. Every three weeks, set a small goal to attain in that time period. Don’t tackle too much. Start with small rituals and build your way up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries\", \"描述\": \"Boundaries make it easier to keep commitments because you have a specific limit in which to function. Before taking on new tasks or promises, establish what you are willing and able to do as well as what you know you realistically can’t do.\\nFor example, you might establish that you won’t take phone calls during a family dinner. Tell your boss, coworkers, and friends that this time is off limits. Put your phone in another room during dinner.\\nYou can also establish quality markers for yourself. For example, you might tell yourself that you will check your work twice before submitting it to your boss. Give yourself extra time to complete this task so that you achieve consistent quality.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build your willpower.\", \"描述\": \"Consistency requires willpower to achieve, because consistency tends to lean towards performing even when you don't feel like it. To do that, you need to have the willpower to do it.\\nAvoid temptation wherever possible. For example, if you want to be consistent about eating healthy, make sure that you have healthy options on hand for when you're hungry. Don't keep unhealthy food around.\\nExhaustion can cause you to skip tasks. Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep a night to keep yourself going.\\nRemind yourself of the long-term benefits whenever you feel unmotivated. Read over your list of goals for inspiration.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eliminate negative thinking.\", \"描述\": \"Negative thinking is the bane of consistency and of willpower. When you think negatively you are making yourself less likely to be able to hold to your consistent actions.\\nPay attention to negative thought patterns that will hinder you in the future. Catch yourself if you start thinking \\\"I can't do this\\\" or \\\"I'm stupid.\\\"\\nWhen you do notice these negative thought patterns, turn them around or introduce a more positive or neutral thought. So for example if you find yourself thinking \\\"I can't do this,\\\" turn it around and think, \\\"I'm going to practice doing this, even if I'm not great at it to start with.\\\"\\nIf you’re starting to dread a task or goal, revise the the task, goal, or outcome. Break it up into smaller steps or promise yourself a reward when you get it done.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Sometimes, like when family is in town or when you feel sick, you may have to make adjustments to your schedule and commitments. That is absolutely fine, and you should allow yourself those adjustments.\\n\", \"Remember, it's not very helpful to \\\"be consistent\\\" in general. You have to come up with specific things you want to be consistent in, like \\\"I want to be consistent in my actions towards others,\\\" or \\\"I want to be consistent about my eating habits.\\\"\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't beat yourself up when you do fail to always be consistent. Remember, no one's perfect, but with practice you can become more consistent about the things that you do.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,648 | How to Be Content With Your Life | 1. Changing Your Perspective
1-1. Live in the present.
The people who are the happiest with their lives are able to enjoy and embrace the present moment instead of being stuck on the past or obsessing over the future will look like. Though thinking of the past can help us learn from our mistakes and thinking of the future can help you set goals and be a good long-term planner, if you want to be happy with what you do have, then take some time to enjoy exactly what you're doing right now. Focus on what the day will bring you instead of what happened yesterday or what you'll be able to change about tomorrow.
Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Focus on being in the moment and you'll feel all of your worries melt away. Be patient: this takes practice.
You can also meditate or do yoga to help yourself focus on the present moment instead of worrying about what the future may bring.
1-2. Be grateful for what you have.
Instead of focusing on all the things you don't have or all of the things you want, take a minute to think about how lucky you are compared to most people out there. Though your life may not be perfect in the moment, there are surely some things that you can be very grateful for, whether it's your loving family, your amazing friends, your great relationship, your health, your cool new job, the awesome city where you live, or your amazing home. You probably don't have all of these things (most people don't!) but surely there are a few things you can remind yourself to be grateful for every single day.
Write a gratitude list every Sunday to remind yourself of all the great things in your life.
Take the time to thank people for helping you, whether you do it in person or you write a "thank you" card.
Spend more time in nature. This will make you feel more grateful for the beauty all around you.
1-3. Appreciate the little things.
Be thankful for the air you breathe, the food that nourishes you, the quiet home you live in, the sunshine that brightens up your day. Every little detail in your life counts. Focus on those little things and be thankful that you are still alive. You could focus on the love of your pet, the amazing bakery down the street that spruces up your breakfasts, the perfect climate in your region, or your awesome library with an endless supply of books. It doesn't have to be anything earth shattering, but it does have to make you realize how much happiness is all around you.
Even if you've had a horrible day, try to think of three little things that made it worthwhile. Maybe it was the unexpected kind email from an old friend, a great conversation with your neighbor, or the amazing new coffee you had with your breakfast.
1-4. Take time to reflect.
A lot of people aren't content with their lives because they don't take the time to sit back and consider everything that's going on. You can do this by writing in a journal at the end of each day or week, going on long walks to decompress, or just by sitting still, staring out at nature, and considering everything that happened to you that day. This doesn't mean you should mope, over-think things, or consider all of the things that went wrong. Instead, you should take the time to rationally assess everything that's going on with your life.
Making a habit of reflecting will help you think rationally when a problem arises and will keep you from being blind-sided by problems that are lurking in your life.
1-5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
This is another way that people can easy keep themselves from feeling truly happy with their lives. Stop thinking about how big your neighbor's house is, how great your friend Jack's job is, or how perfect your best friend's relationship is when yours is riddled with problems. You can't change what other people are doing, and you'll never get anywhere if you compare yourself to others instead of thinking about your life on its own terms.
You will always be able to find someone who is happier, healthier, richer, prettier, and just more together than you are. But why look?
Remember that, even if you're really jealous of your friend's relationship, she might be really jealous of your awesome career. There are always reasons to be jealous of others, and reasons for others to be jealous of you. But if you drop comparing completely, you'll only be doing yourself a favour.
If you only go on Facebook to see who is getting engaged, who just got an awesome new job, or who just went on a vacation of a lifetime, then it's time to disconnect. Social media can make you feel like whatever you have just isn't enough.
1-6. Fake it until you make it...
Even if you're feeling down in the dumps, you shouldn't go around moping, complaining, telling your ten best friends how awful you feel, and looking like you're about to cry. Instead, you should try to be extra cheerful, extra friendly, and make an effort to talk to other people and make them laugh. This doesn't mean that you should hide any serious reasons of deep sadness, but it does mean that if you're just generally in a bad mood, that you should make an extra effort to seem happier. You'll be surprised by how quickly this will actually trick your mind into feeling happier!
Sure, sharing your problems with a good friend can help you work them out. But being upset and complaining to everyone in earshot about it is guaranteed to make you feel worse.
1-7. ...but also take the time to feel your sadness.
David Spiegel, MD, the medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, reminds us that "Happiness is not the absence of sadness." This means that you can still confront your sad feelings and allow yourself to cry and consider your unhappy feelings while still being a happy person. Pretending to be cheerful when you're really upset over something serious will not make you more content with your life or a happier person.
Some suffering will make you appreciate the good parts of your life and will make you even more grateful for what you have.
Talking to friends about your sadness can also make you feel like you have more control over your life, which will make you a happier person.
1-8. Know that money won't change as much as you think.
Sure, some more money will change the wrapping paper over your life -- but not the gift that's inside. You can be driving a nicer car, own nicer clothes, or have a nicer home with three extra bedrooms, but in the long run, it won't do much for making you more content with your life. Once you have enough money to pay for the basic necessities and some fun on the side, having a salary increase will not have a dramatic effect on your happiness.
Sure, a new wardrobe will make you feel better in the short run. But in the long run, you'll still be the same person, just with nicer clothes.
1-9. Feel true compassion for others.
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Part of being happy means building connections with other people and recognizing that other people are also suffering. Building compassion for others will help you forge strong relationships, stop obsessing over yourself, and to feel less alone in the world. The next time you're with another person, consider things from his point of view instead of worrying over how you come off and see how much happier you feel.
It takes practice to develop compassion for others. The more time you spend with other people, the quicker you can do this.
1-10. Remember that happiness is a choice.
Some people gauge happiness by having a successful career, luxurious car, or a huge savings account. Happiness cannot be determined by the money you earn or even with material things. It is a choice that we are happy, despite what life may bring. Start it with yourself and say, "I'm happy to be me".
Being happier now, according to one study, is also a stronger indicator of how happy you'll be in the future. So, making the choice to be happy affects you beyond the present moment.
Studies also show that happier people have less health problems. This decision can affect your physical well-being, too.
2. Changing Your Actions
2-1. Do let the sun go down on anger.
Some people think that if you're mad about something, that you should say it right away to avoid letting your angry feelings fester. Sure, that's true some of the time, but other times, your anger may be fleeting and it will be better to simply go to bed and let things go. The next time you're annoyed about something relatively minor, ask yourself, "Is it really worth it to mention this right now?" or, "Will I really care about this once I'm in a better mood/have more coffee/get my work done?" If the answer is no, then move on.
Sure, one school of thought is that you shouldn't go to bed mad. But another is that, if you stop mentioning every little thing that sets you off, that you won't be mad to begin with.
2-2. Simplify your life.
People who are content with their lives typically don't have many things to worry about. They have only the possessions they really need instead of a wardrobe full of clothes. They have one car for their family instead of two so they don't have to worry so much about the cost and maintenance. They have one credit card instead of three, four close friends instead of forty acquaintances, and they focus on doing the few things they really love instead of committing themselves to lots of things they only kind of like.
Look around you -- do you really need to have so many pairs of shoes? Two types of iPods? Three calendars hanging above your desk? Any time you can eliminate something, go for it.
De-cluttering is another form of simplifying your life. Go through your workspace and your home and rid all surfaces and drawers of the things you don't really need. You'll be able to breathe more easily and will be happier with what you do have.
2-3. Pursue your passion.
People who are content with their lives feel this way because they spend time doing the things that they love. If you have a passion that you're not pursuing, then yeah, you're not going to be content with what you do have. And if you don't know what your passion is, finding it can lead you to be more content with your life. Make a habit of doing the thing you love as much as you can, and to find the thing you love if you can't find anything to be really happy about.
If there's nothing that gets you going, then you won't feel fulfilled.
In some cases, you may be able to turn your passion, like photography, into a career. This will be even more rewarding and will make you happier.
2-4. Stop insisting on having the best.
If you want to be content with your life, then you have to be happy with what you do have, whether it's a great home or a great family meal, instead of always looking for ways to make your life a little bit better. Striving for perfection is guaranteed to make you less happy with what you have and will make you feel even worse and less adequate, no matter what you do have.
As The Rolling Stones once said, "You can't always get what you want/but if you try sometimes/you get what you need..." These are words to live by. Don't obsess over having the nicest or most amazing things, and focus on being happy with what you do have.
And guess what? You can always find a better version of something, whether it's a new Apple device or a new car. Striving for perfection will exhaust you and will make you perpetually unhappy.
2-5. Take the time to connect with people.
Connecting with people has been proven to make people feel more content with their lives. Meaningful relationships are one of the most important things in life, and they will make you feel less alone and more able to deal with your problems. Whether you're connecting with your best friend or chatting with your neighbour, even the little gestures and conversations can make you feel better.
Stop making excuses. No one is too busy to have some sort of social life. Try to really connect with people at least twice a week.
If you have a significant other, don't take him or her for granted. Take the time to make truly meaningful memories and to have real conversations with the one you love.
2-6. Make time for yourself.
Having a good warm bath, a scented candle while listening to your favorite music or just lying on the couch and watching your favorite television show are good examples of a quality time for yourself. Those are the times that you do not need to spend money but it is a way of enjoying your "me" time. Remind yourself that you are important and you deserve to be pampered.
Treating yourself like you are worth the extra time and care will make you feel better about your own life.
Don't let a friend's last-minute plans take away your "me time." Guard your alone time like it's time you were planning on spending with Brad Pitt.
2-7. Make major changes if necessary.
Sure, changing your perspective and your actions can go a long way in making you feel content with your own life, but what if there is a major obstacle standing in your way? If that's the case, then you won't be able to be truly content with your life if you don't do something about it. Think long and hard about the thing that is in the way of you and your happiness. If it's something you can fix, then make a game plan for doing so. Here are some examples:
If you're miserable because you feel completely uninspired or unappreciated in your current job, then ask for a raise, find something new, or consider switching career paths completely.
If a terrible relationship, whether it's your love life or your complicated relationship with a close friend, is standing in your way, then it may be time to cut ties.
If you're seriously overweight and it's keeping you from doing the things you want to do, then it may be time to find a healthier routine for yourself.
3. Developing the Habits of Happy People
3-1. Help others.
Happy people are known to not only be content with their lives, but to love improving the lives of others. You don't have to work in a soup kitchen if that's not your thing, but you should make a goal of helping others regularly, whether you're volunteering at your local library, helping a friend study for her maths test, or helping your little brother find a summer job. Even the little things can make a big difference in someone else's life, and you'll feel more content with your own life because of it.
Helping other people will also make you less focused on yourself and all of the things you don't have.
3-2. Love yourself.
This is an important factor on how you are be able to sustain the contentment in your life. You should love yourself first, before you can love others. The first step on loving yourself is you have to know yourself. Define who you really are and what makes you happy. This will go a long way in making you love yourself and every little thing about your life.
It's okay to recognize that you have flaws and that you aren't perfect. Working to address as many of these flaws as you can, though, can make you feel even better about yourself.
3-3. Try something completely new.
Doing something completely new and out of your comfort zone will make you open up your mind and have a less rigid view of how things should be done. Whether you're learning to cook, taking dancing lessons, or sky diving, mixing things up will make you feel happier because you'll be less set in your ways. Find a new hobby, hang out with a new friend, or just walk around a new area in your neighborhood, and you'll feel more content because you'll be changing your perspective.
One of the reasons people can feel unhappy with their lives is because they're sick of doing the same old thing. Doing at least one completely new thing a week can help you to keep a fresh perspective.
3-4. Enjoy failing.
That's right. If you want to be content with your life, then you have to completely fail at something. It can be trying to cook an elaborate pasta dish, throwing an animal-themed party, or making a clay pot from scratch. Failing more makes you more accepting of failure, and more eager to try new things. Failing in front of others also makes you take yourself less seriously and will make you face life with a greater sense of humor.
Failing once in a while reminds you that you don't have to be good at everything you try, and this will undoubtedly make you more content.
3-5. Hang out with people who are content with their lives.
If you want to be content with your life, then you have to surround yourself with people who are good influences. They will teach you how to approach your own life, show you that there are a variety of ways to be happy, and will maybe even give you some tips for how to approach difficult situations. If you surround yourself with people who are also happy, you will be happier by association.
If you spend all of your time with people who are nagging and looking for reasons to be upset with their lives, you'll be much more likely to come up with some reasons to be unhappy, too!
3-6. Avoid gossiping.
Gossiping and saying bad things about others may make you temporarily feel better because you can focus on the ways that other people are messing up or doing things wrong. But if you're really content with your own life, you won't need to use other people's bad situations or bad behaviour to make yourself feel better; in fact, gossiping will just fill you with venom, make you look like an untrustworthy person, and won't make you feel any better about your own circumstances.
Whenever you open your mouth to say something bad about a person, ask yourself if you can say something positive about that person -- or nothing at all -- instead.
3-7. Get regular exercise.
Maybe you're feeling too tired or too cranky to go to the gym, but you have to get over that. Getting regular exercise, even if you're only walking 20 minutes to the store, will instantly make you feel more content. All of those endorphins will help you have a more positive perspective and will give you more energy to carry on with your day.
Try to work out for at least 30 minutes a day, or one hour every other day, to make yourself feel happier and healthier.
3-8. Address your personal problems.
Happy people know when they have problems in their personal lives and they go about addressing them. Unhappy people let problems fester until they reach a boiling point and are unbearable. If you know that you're struggling with a family member, significant other, or friend, address it so that you can feel better and move forward instead of spending weeks feeling bad until things reach a breaking point.
You don't have to have a big confrontation to have an adult conversation about the things that are upsetting you.
At the same time, you should let go of resentment. Don't be angry about the things people have done to hurt or upset you in the past. If you've already dealt with them, then work on moving on.
3-9. Find a purpose in your life.
Sure, this is easier said than done, but at the end of the day, this is the ultimate habit of happy people. If you want to be content with your life and what it has to offer you, then you have to find a meaning that makes your day worth living. This doesn't have to be some fancy, high-powered career, either. It can be to be a loving wife, a great mother, or to be an amazing part-time teacher. It can be to grow a gorgeous rose garden, or to travel as much as you can. Whatever that thing is, it'll make you excited to wake up in the morning and content whenever you go to bed.
This won't happen overnight, of course. But you should make finding a purpose one of your life's goals.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Perspective\\n1-1. Live in the present.\\nThe people who are the happiest with their lives are able to enjoy and embrace the present moment instead of being stuck on the past or obsessing over the future will look like. Though thinking of the past can help us learn from our mistakes and thinking of the future can help you set goals and be a good long-term planner, if you want to be happy with what you do have, then take some time to enjoy exactly what you're doing right now. Focus on what the day will bring you instead of what happened yesterday or what you'll be able to change about tomorrow.\\nClose your eyes and take some deep breaths. Focus on being in the moment and you'll feel all of your worries melt away. Be patient: this takes practice.\\nYou can also meditate or do yoga to help yourself focus on the present moment instead of worrying about what the future may bring.\\n1-2. Be grateful for what you have.\\nInstead of focusing on all the things you don't have or all of the things you want, take a minute to think about how lucky you are compared to most people out there. Though your life may not be perfect in the moment, there are surely some things that you can be very grateful for, whether it's your loving family, your amazing friends, your great relationship, your health, your cool new job, the awesome city where you live, or your amazing home. You probably don't have all of these things (most people don't!) but surely there are a few things you can remind yourself to be grateful for every single day.\\nWrite a gratitude list every Sunday to remind yourself of all the great things in your life.\\nTake the time to thank people for helping you, whether you do it in person or you write a \\\"thank you\\\" card.\\nSpend more time in nature. This will make you feel more grateful for the beauty all around you.\\n1-3. Appreciate the little things.\\nBe thankful for the air you breathe, the food that nourishes you, the quiet home you live in, the sunshine that brightens up your day. Every little detail in your life counts. Focus on those little things and be thankful that you are still alive. You could focus on the love of your pet, the amazing bakery down the street that spruces up your breakfasts, the perfect climate in your region, or your awesome library with an endless supply of books. It doesn't have to be anything earth shattering, but it does have to make you realize how much happiness is all around you.\\nEven if you've had a horrible day, try to think of three little things that made it worthwhile. Maybe it was the unexpected kind email from an old friend, a great conversation with your neighbor, or the amazing new coffee you had with your breakfast.\\n1-4. Take time to reflect.\\nA lot of people aren't content with their lives because they don't take the time to sit back and consider everything that's going on. You can do this by writing in a journal at the end of each day or week, going on long walks to decompress, or just by sitting still, staring out at nature, and considering everything that happened to you that day. This doesn't mean you should mope, over-think things, or consider all of the things that went wrong. Instead, you should take the time to rationally assess everything that's going on with your life. \\nMaking a habit of reflecting will help you think rationally when a problem arises and will keep you from being blind-sided by problems that are lurking in your life.\\n1-5. Stop comparing yourself to others.\\nThis is another way that people can easy keep themselves from feeling truly happy with their lives. Stop thinking about how big your neighbor's house is, how great your friend Jack's job is, or how perfect your best friend's relationship is when yours is riddled with problems. You can't change what other people are doing, and you'll never get anywhere if you compare yourself to others instead of thinking about your life on its own terms. \\nYou will always be able to find someone who is happier, healthier, richer, prettier, and just more together than you are. But why look?\\nRemember that, even if you're really jealous of your friend's relationship, she might be really jealous of your awesome career. There are always reasons to be jealous of others, and reasons for others to be jealous of you. But if you drop comparing completely, you'll only be doing yourself a favour.\\nIf you only go on Facebook to see who is getting engaged, who just got an awesome new job, or who just went on a vacation of a lifetime, then it's time to disconnect. Social media can make you feel like whatever you have just isn't enough.\\n1-6. Fake it until you make it...\\nEven if you're feeling down in the dumps, you shouldn't go around moping, complaining, telling your ten best friends how awful you feel, and looking like you're about to cry. Instead, you should try to be extra cheerful, extra friendly, and make an effort to talk to other people and make them laugh. This doesn't mean that you should hide any serious reasons of deep sadness, but it does mean that if you're just generally in a bad mood, that you should make an extra effort to seem happier. You'll be surprised by how quickly this will actually trick your mind into feeling happier! \\nSure, sharing your problems with a good friend can help you work them out. But being upset and complaining to everyone in earshot about it is guaranteed to make you feel worse.\\n1-7. ...but also take the time to feel your sadness.\\nDavid Spiegel, MD, the medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, reminds us that \\\"Happiness is not the absence of sadness.\\\" This means that you can still confront your sad feelings and allow yourself to cry and consider your unhappy feelings while still being a happy person. Pretending to be cheerful when you're really upset over something serious will not make you more content with your life or a happier person. \\nSome suffering will make you appreciate the good parts of your life and will make you even more grateful for what you have.\\nTalking to friends about your sadness can also make you feel like you have more control over your life, which will make you a happier person.\\n1-8. Know that money won't change as much as you think.\\nSure, some more money will change the wrapping paper over your life -- but not the gift that's inside. You can be driving a nicer car, own nicer clothes, or have a nicer home with three extra bedrooms, but in the long run, it won't do much for making you more content with your life. Once you have enough money to pay for the basic necessities and some fun on the side, having a salary increase will not have a dramatic effect on your happiness. \\nSure, a new wardrobe will make you feel better in the short run. But in the long run, you'll still be the same person, just with nicer clothes.\\n1-9. Feel true compassion for others.\\nTenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Part of being happy means building connections with other people and recognizing that other people are also suffering. Building compassion for others will help you forge strong relationships, stop obsessing over yourself, and to feel less alone in the world. The next time you're with another person, consider things from his point of view instead of worrying over how you come off and see how much happier you feel.\\nIt takes practice to develop compassion for others. The more time you spend with other people, the quicker you can do this.\\n1-10. Remember that happiness is a choice.\\nSome people gauge happiness by having a successful career, luxurious car, or a huge savings account. Happiness cannot be determined by the money you earn or even with material things. It is a choice that we are happy, despite what life may bring. Start it with yourself and say, \\\"I'm happy to be me\\\". \\nBeing happier now, according to one study, is also a stronger indicator of how happy you'll be in the future. So, making the choice to be happy affects you beyond the present moment.\\nStudies also show that happier people have less health problems. This decision can affect your physical well-being, too.\\n2. Changing Your Actions\\n2-1. Do let the sun go down on anger.\\nSome people think that if you're mad about something, that you should say it right away to avoid letting your angry feelings fester. Sure, that's true some of the time, but other times, your anger may be fleeting and it will be better to simply go to bed and let things go. The next time you're annoyed about something relatively minor, ask yourself, \\\"Is it really worth it to mention this right now?\\\" or, \\\"Will I really care about this once I'm in a better mood/have more coffee/get my work done?\\\" If the answer is no, then move on. \\nSure, one school of thought is that you shouldn't go to bed mad. But another is that, if you stop mentioning every little thing that sets you off, that you won't be mad to begin with.\\n2-2. Simplify your life.\\nPeople who are content with their lives typically don't have many things to worry about. They have only the possessions they really need instead of a wardrobe full of clothes. They have one car for their family instead of two so they don't have to worry so much about the cost and maintenance. They have one credit card instead of three, four close friends instead of forty acquaintances, and they focus on doing the few things they really love instead of committing themselves to lots of things they only kind of like. \\nLook around you -- do you really need to have so many pairs of shoes? Two types of iPods? Three calendars hanging above your desk? Any time you can eliminate something, go for it.\\nDe-cluttering is another form of simplifying your life. Go through your workspace and your home and rid all surfaces and drawers of the things you don't really need. You'll be able to breathe more easily and will be happier with what you do have.\\n2-3. Pursue your passion.\\nPeople who are content with their lives feel this way because they spend time doing the things that they love. If you have a passion that you're not pursuing, then yeah, you're not going to be content with what you do have. And if you don't know what your passion is, finding it can lead you to be more content with your life. Make a habit of doing the thing you love as much as you can, and to find the thing you love if you can't find anything to be really happy about. \\nIf there's nothing that gets you going, then you won't feel fulfilled.\\nIn some cases, you may be able to turn your passion, like photography, into a career. This will be even more rewarding and will make you happier.\\n2-4. Stop insisting on having the best.\\nIf you want to be content with your life, then you have to be happy with what you do have, whether it's a great home or a great family meal, instead of always looking for ways to make your life a little bit better. Striving for perfection is guaranteed to make you less happy with what you have and will make you feel even worse and less adequate, no matter what you do have. \\nAs The Rolling Stones once said, \\\"You can't always get what you want/but if you try sometimes/you get what you need...\\\" These are words to live by. Don't obsess over having the nicest or most amazing things, and focus on being happy with what you do have.\\nAnd guess what? You can always find a better version of something, whether it's a new Apple device or a new car. Striving for perfection will exhaust you and will make you perpetually unhappy.\\n2-5. Take the time to connect with people.\\nConnecting with people has been proven to make people feel more content with their lives. Meaningful relationships are one of the most important things in life, and they will make you feel less alone and more able to deal with your problems. Whether you're connecting with your best friend or chatting with your neighbour, even the little gestures and conversations can make you feel better. \\nStop making excuses. No one is too busy to have some sort of social life. Try to really connect with people at least twice a week.\\nIf you have a significant other, don't take him or her for granted. Take the time to make truly meaningful memories and to have real conversations with the one you love.\\n2-6. Make time for yourself.\\nHaving a good warm bath, a scented candle while listening to your favorite music or just lying on the couch and watching your favorite television show are good examples of a quality time for yourself. Those are the times that you do not need to spend money but it is a way of enjoying your \\\"me\\\" time. Remind yourself that you are important and you deserve to be pampered.\\nTreating yourself like you are worth the extra time and care will make you feel better about your own life.\\nDon't let a friend's last-minute plans take away your \\\"me time.\\\" Guard your alone time like it's time you were planning on spending with Brad Pitt.\\n2-7. Make major changes if necessary.\\nSure, changing your perspective and your actions can go a long way in making you feel content with your own life, but what if there is a major obstacle standing in your way? If that's the case, then you won't be able to be truly content with your life if you don't do something about it. Think long and hard about the thing that is in the way of you and your happiness. If it's something you can fix, then make a game plan for doing so. Here are some examples: \\nIf you're miserable because you feel completely uninspired or unappreciated in your current job, then ask for a raise, find something new, or consider switching career paths completely.\\nIf a terrible relationship, whether it's your love life or your complicated relationship with a close friend, is standing in your way, then it may be time to cut ties.\\nIf you're seriously overweight and it's keeping you from doing the things you want to do, then it may be time to find a healthier routine for yourself.\\n3. Developing the Habits of Happy People\\n3-1. Help others.\\nHappy people are known to not only be content with their lives, but to love improving the lives of others. You don't have to work in a soup kitchen if that's not your thing, but you should make a goal of helping others regularly, whether you're volunteering at your local library, helping a friend study for her maths test, or helping your little brother find a summer job. Even the little things can make a big difference in someone else's life, and you'll feel more content with your own life because of it. \\nHelping other people will also make you less focused on yourself and all of the things you don't have.\\n3-2. Love yourself.\\nThis is an important factor on how you are be able to sustain the contentment in your life. You should love yourself first, before you can love others. The first step on loving yourself is you have to know yourself. Define who you really are and what makes you happy. This will go a long way in making you love yourself and every little thing about your life. \\nIt's okay to recognize that you have flaws and that you aren't perfect. Working to address as many of these flaws as you can, though, can make you feel even better about yourself.\\n3-3. Try something completely new.\\nDoing something completely new and out of your comfort zone will make you open up your mind and have a less rigid view of how things should be done. Whether you're learning to cook, taking dancing lessons, or sky diving, mixing things up will make you feel happier because you'll be less set in your ways. Find a new hobby, hang out with a new friend, or just walk around a new area in your neighborhood, and you'll feel more content because you'll be changing your perspective.\\nOne of the reasons people can feel unhappy with their lives is because they're sick of doing the same old thing. Doing at least one completely new thing a week can help you to keep a fresh perspective.\\n3-4. Enjoy failing.\\nThat's right. If you want to be content with your life, then you have to completely fail at something. It can be trying to cook an elaborate pasta dish, throwing an animal-themed party, or making a clay pot from scratch. Failing more makes you more accepting of failure, and more eager to try new things. Failing in front of others also makes you take yourself less seriously and will make you face life with a greater sense of humor. \\nFailing once in a while reminds you that you don't have to be good at everything you try, and this will undoubtedly make you more content.\\n3-5. Hang out with people who are content with their lives.\\nIf you want to be content with your life, then you have to surround yourself with people who are good influences. They will teach you how to approach your own life, show you that there are a variety of ways to be happy, and will maybe even give you some tips for how to approach difficult situations. If you surround yourself with people who are also happy, you will be happier by association. \\nIf you spend all of your time with people who are nagging and looking for reasons to be upset with their lives, you'll be much more likely to come up with some reasons to be unhappy, too!\\n3-6. Avoid gossiping.\\nGossiping and saying bad things about others may make you temporarily feel better because you can focus on the ways that other people are messing up or doing things wrong. But if you're really content with your own life, you won't need to use other people's bad situations or bad behaviour to make yourself feel better; in fact, gossiping will just fill you with venom, make you look like an untrustworthy person, and won't make you feel any better about your own circumstances.\\nWhenever you open your mouth to say something bad about a person, ask yourself if you can say something positive about that person -- or nothing at all -- instead.\\n3-7. Get regular exercise.\\nMaybe you're feeling too tired or too cranky to go to the gym, but you have to get over that. Getting regular exercise, even if you're only walking 20 minutes to the store, will instantly make you feel more content. All of those endorphins will help you have a more positive perspective and will give you more energy to carry on with your day. \\nTry to work out for at least 30 minutes a day, or one hour every other day, to make yourself feel happier and healthier.\\n3-8. Address your personal problems.\\nHappy people know when they have problems in their personal lives and they go about addressing them. Unhappy people let problems fester until they reach a boiling point and are unbearable. If you know that you're struggling with a family member, significant other, or friend, address it so that you can feel better and move forward instead of spending weeks feeling bad until things reach a breaking point.\\nYou don't have to have a big confrontation to have an adult conversation about the things that are upsetting you.\\nAt the same time, you should let go of resentment. Don't be angry about the things people have done to hurt or upset you in the past. If you've already dealt with them, then work on moving on.\\n3-9. Find a purpose in your life.\\nSure, this is easier said than done, but at the end of the day, this is the ultimate habit of happy people. If you want to be content with your life and what it has to offer you, then you have to find a meaning that makes your day worth living. This doesn't have to be some fancy, high-powered career, either. It can be to be a loving wife, a great mother, or to be an amazing part-time teacher. It can be to grow a gorgeous rose garden, or to travel as much as you can. Whatever that thing is, it'll make you excited to wake up in the morning and content whenever you go to bed.\\nThis won't happen overnight, of course. But you should make finding a purpose one of your life's goals.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We've all had the feeling before. You know that you have everything to be thankful for: a great significant other, a loving family, a pretty good job, and a healthy working body. Still, you keep having this nagging feeling that what you have just isn't enough. Sure, you can be happier by making some life changes, but the easiest way to be content with your life is to adjust your perspective and daily actions, which will make you more likely to appreciate what you have. So how do you start enjoying that sunshine instead of complaining about sunburn? Follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Perspective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Live in the present.\", \"描述\": \"The people who are the happiest with their lives are able to enjoy and embrace the present moment instead of being stuck on the past or obsessing over the future will look like. Though thinking of the past can help us learn from our mistakes and thinking of the future can help you set goals and be a good long-term planner, if you want to be happy with what you do have, then take some time to enjoy exactly what you're doing right now. Focus on what the day will bring you instead of what happened yesterday or what you'll be able to change about tomorrow.\\nClose your eyes and take some deep breaths. Focus on being in the moment and you'll feel all of your worries melt away. Be patient: this takes practice.\\nYou can also meditate or do yoga to help yourself focus on the present moment instead of worrying about what the future may bring.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for what you have.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of focusing on all the things you don't have or all of the things you want, take a minute to think about how lucky you are compared to most people out there. Though your life may not be perfect in the moment, there are surely some things that you can be very grateful for, whether it's your loving family, your amazing friends, your great relationship, your health, your cool new job, the awesome city where you live, or your amazing home. You probably don't have all of these things (most people don't!) but surely there are a few things you can remind yourself to be grateful for every single day.\\nWrite a gratitude list every Sunday to remind yourself of all the great things in your life.\\nTake the time to thank people for helping you, whether you do it in person or you write a \\\"thank you\\\" card.\\nSpend more time in nature. This will make you feel more grateful for the beauty all around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Appreciate the little things.\", \"描述\": \"Be thankful for the air you breathe, the food that nourishes you, the quiet home you live in, the sunshine that brightens up your day. Every little detail in your life counts. Focus on those little things and be thankful that you are still alive. You could focus on the love of your pet, the amazing bakery down the street that spruces up your breakfasts, the perfect climate in your region, or your awesome library with an endless supply of books. It doesn't have to be anything earth shattering, but it does have to make you realize how much happiness is all around you.\\nEven if you've had a horrible day, try to think of three little things that made it worthwhile. Maybe it was the unexpected kind email from an old friend, a great conversation with your neighbor, or the amazing new coffee you had with your breakfast.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take time to reflect.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people aren't content with their lives because they don't take the time to sit back and consider everything that's going on. You can do this by writing in a journal at the end of each day or week, going on long walks to decompress, or just by sitting still, staring out at nature, and considering everything that happened to you that day. This doesn't mean you should mope, over-think things, or consider all of the things that went wrong. Instead, you should take the time to rationally assess everything that's going on with your life. \\nMaking a habit of reflecting will help you think rationally when a problem arises and will keep you from being blind-sided by problems that are lurking in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"This is another way that people can easy keep themselves from feeling truly happy with their lives. Stop thinking about how big your neighbor's house is, how great your friend Jack's job is, or how perfect your best friend's relationship is when yours is riddled with problems. You can't change what other people are doing, and you'll never get anywhere if you compare yourself to others instead of thinking about your life on its own terms. \\nYou will always be able to find someone who is happier, healthier, richer, prettier, and just more together than you are. But why look?\\nRemember that, even if you're really jealous of your friend's relationship, she might be really jealous of your awesome career. There are always reasons to be jealous of others, and reasons for others to be jealous of you. But if you drop comparing completely, you'll only be doing yourself a favour.\\nIf you only go on Facebook to see who is getting engaged, who just got an awesome new job, or who just went on a vacation of a lifetime, then it's time to disconnect. Social media can make you feel like whatever you have just isn't enough.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fake it until you make it...\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're feeling down in the dumps, you shouldn't go around moping, complaining, telling your ten best friends how awful you feel, and looking like you're about to cry. Instead, you should try to be extra cheerful, extra friendly, and make an effort to talk to other people and make them laugh. This doesn't mean that you should hide any serious reasons of deep sadness, but it does mean that if you're just generally in a bad mood, that you should make an extra effort to seem happier. You'll be surprised by how quickly this will actually trick your mind into feeling happier! \\nSure, sharing your problems with a good friend can help you work them out. But being upset and complaining to everyone in earshot about it is guaranteed to make you feel worse.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"...but also take the time to feel your sadness.\", \"描述\": \"David Spiegel, MD, the medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, reminds us that \\\"Happiness is not the absence of sadness.\\\" This means that you can still confront your sad feelings and allow yourself to cry and consider your unhappy feelings while still being a happy person. Pretending to be cheerful when you're really upset over something serious will not make you more content with your life or a happier person. \\nSome suffering will make you appreciate the good parts of your life and will make you even more grateful for what you have.\\nTalking to friends about your sadness can also make you feel like you have more control over your life, which will make you a happier person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Know that money won't change as much as you think.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, some more money will change the wrapping paper over your life -- but not the gift that's inside. You can be driving a nicer car, own nicer clothes, or have a nicer home with three extra bedrooms, but in the long run, it won't do much for making you more content with your life. Once you have enough money to pay for the basic necessities and some fun on the side, having a salary increase will not have a dramatic effect on your happiness. \\nSure, a new wardrobe will make you feel better in the short run. But in the long run, you'll still be the same person, just with nicer clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Feel true compassion for others.\", \"描述\": \"Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Part of being happy means building connections with other people and recognizing that other people are also suffering. Building compassion for others will help you forge strong relationships, stop obsessing over yourself, and to feel less alone in the world. The next time you're with another person, consider things from his point of view instead of worrying over how you come off and see how much happier you feel.\\nIt takes practice to develop compassion for others. The more time you spend with other people, the quicker you can do this.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Remember that happiness is a choice.\", \"描述\": \"Some people gauge happiness by having a successful career, luxurious car, or a huge savings account. Happiness cannot be determined by the money you earn or even with material things. It is a choice that we are happy, despite what life may bring. Start it with yourself and say, \\\"I'm happy to be me\\\". \\nBeing happier now, according to one study, is also a stronger indicator of how happy you'll be in the future. So, making the choice to be happy affects you beyond the present moment.\\nStudies also show that happier people have less health problems. This decision can affect your physical well-being, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Actions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do let the sun go down on anger.\", \"描述\": \"Some people think that if you're mad about something, that you should say it right away to avoid letting your angry feelings fester. Sure, that's true some of the time, but other times, your anger may be fleeting and it will be better to simply go to bed and let things go. The next time you're annoyed about something relatively minor, ask yourself, \\\"Is it really worth it to mention this right now?\\\" or, \\\"Will I really care about this once I'm in a better mood/have more coffee/get my work done?\\\" If the answer is no, then move on. \\nSure, one school of thought is that you shouldn't go to bed mad. But another is that, if you stop mentioning every little thing that sets you off, that you won't be mad to begin with.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Simplify your life.\", \"描述\": \"People who are content with their lives typically don't have many things to worry about. They have only the possessions they really need instead of a wardrobe full of clothes. They have one car for their family instead of two so they don't have to worry so much about the cost and maintenance. They have one credit card instead of three, four close friends instead of forty acquaintances, and they focus on doing the few things they really love instead of committing themselves to lots of things they only kind of like. \\nLook around you -- do you really need to have so many pairs of shoes? Two types of iPods? Three calendars hanging above your desk? Any time you can eliminate something, go for it.\\nDe-cluttering is another form of simplifying your life. Go through your workspace and your home and rid all surfaces and drawers of the things you don't really need. You'll be able to breathe more easily and will be happier with what you do have.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pursue your passion.\", \"描述\": \"People who are content with their lives feel this way because they spend time doing the things that they love. If you have a passion that you're not pursuing, then yeah, you're not going to be content with what you do have. And if you don't know what your passion is, finding it can lead you to be more content with your life. Make a habit of doing the thing you love as much as you can, and to find the thing you love if you can't find anything to be really happy about. \\nIf there's nothing that gets you going, then you won't feel fulfilled.\\nIn some cases, you may be able to turn your passion, like photography, into a career. This will be even more rewarding and will make you happier.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop insisting on having the best.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be content with your life, then you have to be happy with what you do have, whether it's a great home or a great family meal, instead of always looking for ways to make your life a little bit better. Striving for perfection is guaranteed to make you less happy with what you have and will make you feel even worse and less adequate, no matter what you do have. \\nAs The Rolling Stones once said, \\\"You can't always get what you want/but if you try sometimes/you get what you need...\\\" These are words to live by. Don't obsess over having the nicest or most amazing things, and focus on being happy with what you do have.\\nAnd guess what? You can always find a better version of something, whether it's a new Apple device or a new car. Striving for perfection will exhaust you and will make you perpetually unhappy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take the time to connect with people.\", \"描述\": \"Connecting with people has been proven to make people feel more content with their lives. Meaningful relationships are one of the most important things in life, and they will make you feel less alone and more able to deal with your problems. Whether you're connecting with your best friend or chatting with your neighbour, even the little gestures and conversations can make you feel better. \\nStop making excuses. No one is too busy to have some sort of social life. Try to really connect with people at least twice a week.\\nIf you have a significant other, don't take him or her for granted. Take the time to make truly meaningful memories and to have real conversations with the one you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make time for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Having a good warm bath, a scented candle while listening to your favorite music or just lying on the couch and watching your favorite television show are good examples of a quality time for yourself. Those are the times that you do not need to spend money but it is a way of enjoying your \\\"me\\\" time. Remind yourself that you are important and you deserve to be pampered.\\nTreating yourself like you are worth the extra time and care will make you feel better about your own life.\\nDon't let a friend's last-minute plans take away your \\\"me time.\\\" Guard your alone time like it's time you were planning on spending with Brad Pitt.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make major changes if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, changing your perspective and your actions can go a long way in making you feel content with your own life, but what if there is a major obstacle standing in your way? If that's the case, then you won't be able to be truly content with your life if you don't do something about it. Think long and hard about the thing that is in the way of you and your happiness. If it's something you can fix, then make a game plan for doing so. Here are some examples: \\nIf you're miserable because you feel completely uninspired or unappreciated in your current job, then ask for a raise, find something new, or consider switching career paths completely.\\nIf a terrible relationship, whether it's your love life or your complicated relationship with a close friend, is standing in your way, then it may be time to cut ties.\\nIf you're seriously overweight and it's keeping you from doing the things you want to do, then it may be time to find a healthier routine for yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing the Habits of Happy People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help others.\", \"描述\": \"Happy people are known to not only be content with their lives, but to love improving the lives of others. You don't have to work in a soup kitchen if that's not your thing, but you should make a goal of helping others regularly, whether you're volunteering at your local library, helping a friend study for her maths test, or helping your little brother find a summer job. Even the little things can make a big difference in someone else's life, and you'll feel more content with your own life because of it. \\nHelping other people will also make you less focused on yourself and all of the things you don't have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is an important factor on how you are be able to sustain the contentment in your life. You should love yourself first, before you can love others. The first step on loving yourself is you have to know yourself. Define who you really are and what makes you happy. This will go a long way in making you love yourself and every little thing about your life. \\nIt's okay to recognize that you have flaws and that you aren't perfect. Working to address as many of these flaws as you can, though, can make you feel even better about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try something completely new.\", \"描述\": \"Doing something completely new and out of your comfort zone will make you open up your mind and have a less rigid view of how things should be done. Whether you're learning to cook, taking dancing lessons, or sky diving, mixing things up will make you feel happier because you'll be less set in your ways. Find a new hobby, hang out with a new friend, or just walk around a new area in your neighborhood, and you'll feel more content because you'll be changing your perspective.\\nOne of the reasons people can feel unhappy with their lives is because they're sick of doing the same old thing. Doing at least one completely new thing a week can help you to keep a fresh perspective.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy failing.\", \"描述\": \"That's right. If you want to be content with your life, then you have to completely fail at something. It can be trying to cook an elaborate pasta dish, throwing an animal-themed party, or making a clay pot from scratch. Failing more makes you more accepting of failure, and more eager to try new things. Failing in front of others also makes you take yourself less seriously and will make you face life with a greater sense of humor. \\nFailing once in a while reminds you that you don't have to be good at everything you try, and this will undoubtedly make you more content.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hang out with people who are content with their lives.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be content with your life, then you have to surround yourself with people who are good influences. They will teach you how to approach your own life, show you that there are a variety of ways to be happy, and will maybe even give you some tips for how to approach difficult situations. If you surround yourself with people who are also happy, you will be happier by association. \\nIf you spend all of your time with people who are nagging and looking for reasons to be upset with their lives, you'll be much more likely to come up with some reasons to be unhappy, too!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping.\", \"描述\": \"Gossiping and saying bad things about others may make you temporarily feel better because you can focus on the ways that other people are messing up or doing things wrong. But if you're really content with your own life, you won't need to use other people's bad situations or bad behaviour to make yourself feel better; in fact, gossiping will just fill you with venom, make you look like an untrustworthy person, and won't make you feel any better about your own circumstances.\\nWhenever you open your mouth to say something bad about a person, ask yourself if you can say something positive about that person -- or nothing at all -- instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get regular exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you're feeling too tired or too cranky to go to the gym, but you have to get over that. Getting regular exercise, even if you're only walking 20 minutes to the store, will instantly make you feel more content. All of those endorphins will help you have a more positive perspective and will give you more energy to carry on with your day. \\nTry to work out for at least 30 minutes a day, or one hour every other day, to make yourself feel happier and healthier.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Address your personal problems.\", \"描述\": \"Happy people know when they have problems in their personal lives and they go about addressing them. Unhappy people let problems fester until they reach a boiling point and are unbearable. If you know that you're struggling with a family member, significant other, or friend, address it so that you can feel better and move forward instead of spending weeks feeling bad until things reach a breaking point.\\nYou don't have to have a big confrontation to have an adult conversation about the things that are upsetting you.\\nAt the same time, you should let go of resentment. Don't be angry about the things people have done to hurt or upset you in the past. If you've already dealt with them, then work on moving on.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Find a purpose in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, this is easier said than done, but at the end of the day, this is the ultimate habit of happy people. If you want to be content with your life and what it has to offer you, then you have to find a meaning that makes your day worth living. This doesn't have to be some fancy, high-powered career, either. It can be to be a loving wife, a great mother, or to be an amazing part-time teacher. It can be to grow a gorgeous rose garden, or to travel as much as you can. Whatever that thing is, it'll make you excited to wake up in the morning and content whenever you go to bed.\\nThis won't happen overnight, of course. But you should make finding a purpose one of your life's goals.\"}]}]}}",
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3,649 | How to Be Cool | 1. Being Cool
1-1. Don't be needy.
Remember, people who are cool are not needy or desperate. Instead, try to solve problems yourself whenever you can. If you are not needy, people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This quality attracts people. Neediness is a big turn off unless you're really in a tight spot. This doesn't mean you should act invincible; just don't beg people for help, act like you can't be alone, or expect others to fix your problems.
Friendships are great but don't act like you'll pass if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Getting some alone time is great, too. Keeping yourself hidden can also allow you to focus on yourself and not what others think, which is a key factor to being calm.
If someone hasn't called you back, lay off. There's no need to follow up with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they'll respect you a lot more.
1-2. Be yourself
It will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don't need to join a clique. Make your own friendships. Being cool is being yourself in an outgoing way, even if you are quiet. Just remember not to come off as sullen and passive-aggressive. Be true to yourself! Don't always try to be like anyone else by copying someone else's actions or style. Although trying out those acts is fine, if you do that on a regular basis, it's going to come out as fake. No good comes out of being someone you are not. Live life for who are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, it's about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are. Remember, an original is always worth more than a copy. Be true to who you are and don't devalue yourself.
If you don't let people see the real you, then what's the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all.
Own your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don't apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don't like it about yourself. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world. However, don't be overconfident, or you will come off as braggy and self-centered.
Write a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
1-3. Practice self-disclosure.
The more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to: thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes and favorites.
Self-disclosure happens slowly. Don't tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life or things will quickly go south.
"Hiding information about yourself makes you look super cool." - Sasuke Uchiha
1-4. Be friendly, but not excessively eager.
Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive. When you meet a new person, take it easy, even if you think you're friend soul mates.
If you're too eager to hang out with a new person, then it might look like you don't have any other friends.
If you act sociable and confident no matter who you talk to at the party, then you'll definitely stand out and look like you're one of the most popular people there.
You can always give someone a simple but sincere compliment so you immediately leave a positive first impression. For example, tell them you love their outfit.
1-5. Be a good conversationalist.
Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Don't dominate the conversation. You don't need to share a similar story at every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on the other person's story. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends and being a good listener.
Be a good listener. Try to make the other person feel important, but only if you can genuinely. False enthusiasm will just appear sarcastic. When you listen to people, it not only makes them feel good about themselves but also about you. If you're stuck, remember the golden rule.
Most people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you.
Wait for the right moment to make a comment. If you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach.
Be playful! Joke around with other people. Making fun of people is fine as long as you know your limits. Different people have different tolerance levels, so be sure that the people you around know you're kidding.
1-6. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms.
This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly, and confidently. If you feel it is necessary to adopt a more formal register and use polysyllabic words, do so, but do not go overboard or you will appear pretentious. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.
1-7. Use humor.
Cool people know how to use humor to ease any situation. They don't get annoyed and angry, and no matter how many bad things happen to them, they can still joke about it. They are aware of others' emotions but don't let bad emotions affect them.
However, it is equally important not to hold back any strong emotions. You should let go of petty things in life, but if you are going through a hard time, don't be afraid to seek the help you need.
Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
You can be cool and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at a goofy, obviously silly but funny joke. Don't be that person.
1-8. Speak up
Observe people who are "cool"; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, say uh, um..., or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry.
Say what you really feel and share your unique perspectives. As long as you're polite and genuine, people will respect that you take the initiative to say what's on your mind and that you keep the conversation going.
1-9. Keep your "cool".
The very definition of cool is being calm, composed, under control, not excited, indifferent, and socially adept. Many times, cool people are those that don't get excited about things, that don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to deal with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Be confident.
Oftentimes, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don't try but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place.
Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm.
1-10. Don't use bad behavior to get attention.
There are many people who take up smoking, drinking, bullying, and other bad habits. Most often, this comes from negative reinforcement. After doing something bad, a person may be "rewarded" with attention. "I can't believe he did that!", people will say. It is easy to misinterpret attention as popularity, even if it's for doing something wrong. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits.
You should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.
Don't do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Don't smoke. It won't make you cool—it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won't notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers- just don't take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit.
Avoid arguing. When you're cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right you just know it. You don't need to waste time, effort, and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn't seen the things you have seen.
1-11. Don’t just think about it — do it.
It’s all very well to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually get out there and apply the theories that resonate with you. Do it! It’s scary but so, so invigorating. Who knows that who you’ll meet and what they might be able to offer you? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job, etc.)
Be a person of action, not a person of ideas.
Of course, thinking things through before jumping the gun is a great trait. But thinking things through and then not doing anything won't get you anywhere.
2. Thinking Cool
2-1. Remember that people are your equals.
Even a group of people is equal to you. If you're talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, the president of the United States, or an attractive person, for example, remember they are neither better than you nor worse than you are. They should be treated as you should be treated. Be respectful of other people, but expect that they will accept you as such.
When someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn't show respect towards you or the person didn't do what you asked of them.
People may be rude to you because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.
2-2. Understand that some people won’t get it.
While it feels amazing to dazzle people with your quick wit, sometimes you will meet someone who just doesn’t get you. They’ll look at you quizzically and ask you to clarify what you thought was a cuttingly observant pop-culture reference. It doesn’t matter. What’s fascinating about humans is that they are so diverse.
Senses of humor vary wildly. If you’re getting blank looks, just be polite, excuse yourself, and chronicle any embarrassments later in a stand-up comedy routine.
2-3. Have faith in your friends.
There’s a reason they hang around you. The personality traits you despise in yourself may be the very quirks they find endearing. Let them decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of yourself to the world. If you want to be cool, then you have to believe that the people around you genuinely like you and find your relationship meaningful.
Remember that it's not cool to hang out with people who you think are cool just because you think it'll make you cool by proxy. Life doesn't work that way.
2-4. Don't be afraid to be different.
Whether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument, try to be different and stand out. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. These people will try to get to you, in an attempt to take the attention off of you and bestow it upon themselves.
The important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness; just ignore them. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.
2-5. Be self-aware.
There's a difference between letting people's judgments affect your self-esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.
Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; a lot of people analyze your body language and get a sense of who you are. For example, if you stand at the center of the room and hold your head up high, everyone will definitely see you as confident.
Knowing how you come off during school, during a soccer match, or at a party can help you have a sense of what people think of you, and to adjust your actions accordingly. It doesn't mean that you have to change for you are, but if you're at a party, it's good to notice if you're completely dominating a conversation and even boring people so you can back off a bit.
2-6. Relax
Seriously. Constantly telling yourself that you're not good at socializing creates anxieties that play on your mind the next time you converse with someone. You then focus on said anxieties, and the whole thing becomes one big cycle of self-fulfillment. If you're always nervous about what can go wrong in a social situation, you won't be able to appreciate things that are going right.
If you're nervous or anxious, other people will be able to tell, and they will feed off of your nervous energy, creating even more anxiety. Instead, be calm and make people feel like they are calmer in your presence and they will be drawn to you.
It's okay to freak out to a trusted friend if you need to once in a while. Just don't get a reputation for being a person who is always freaking out.
3. Looking Cool
3-1. Present yourself in a positive way.
Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need. Don't walk too fast either because it looks like you are running away.
Smile. Be a habitual, unrepentant over-smiler, with every grin being a genuine one. If you smile when you meet someone, you instantly appear confident, friendly, and relaxed. Confident, friendly, relaxed people are much more appealing than their uptight compadres.
3-2. Be fit
Being fit will raise your self-esteem and will make you look at the world in a more positive light. This doesn't mean that you need a six-pack to be cool, but it does mean that taking care of your body is definitely cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play a sport and keep in good shape. Eat healthy too. Having the energy to be involved in many things is something that not everyone is born with, so try to work out. You will see results if you work hard.
Know that you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don't be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.
3-3. Practice good hygiene
Be sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after lunch. Wear perfume or spray on a bit, just a bit of cologne. Shower every day and wear deodorant. Also, use lotion so that your skin is not ashy, and put on some lip balm if your lips are dry. You should wash your face every morning to keep fresh and pimple free.
You don't have to spend hours on your looks each day to be cool. But hey, 20–30 minutes spent showering and grooming won't kill you.
3-4. Project confident body language.
If you want to look cool, then your body has to project confidence at all times. If you're talking to someone, make eye contact, use your hands to gesture, and sit or stand with good posture. Smile, even if you're feeling a little nervous, and don't fidget with your hands or look at the floor when you're talking to someone, or you won't look like you believe what you say.
3-5. Find your own style.
As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Some people have been known to get girlfriends even though they wear sweats all the time. Some of the dorkiest, "uncool" people are known to get girlfriends because everyone has a different perception of cool. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness.
You don't have to follow trends to be cool; you just have to be able to look comfortable and happy in whatever you are wearing.
Tips
Remember to be calm and collected. This means don't get over-excited, don't be annoyingly loud, and don't be clingy.
Be nice and not snotty. Don't make snotty or rude comebacks at people if they are being mean. Be outgoing. Let them hear your voice. Speak up for yourself and others.
Don't just wait for someone to ask you to hang out. They're waiting for you. Invite them over. And be prepared. Don't have them come over and you can't find anything to do. It's a real turn off for your friend, and they won't want to come back again.
Warnings
Don't base your coolness on making others seem uncool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.
Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" without being a part of the most popular group.
Always stick up for people, and don't bully others, because to be cool means to be liked by everyone, including those who are not as socially high-ranking as yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Cool\\n1-1. Don't be needy.\\nRemember, people who are cool are not needy or desperate. Instead, try to solve problems yourself whenever you can. If you are not needy, people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This quality attracts people. Neediness is a big turn off unless you're really in a tight spot. This doesn't mean you should act invincible; just don't beg people for help, act like you can't be alone, or expect others to fix your problems.\\n\\nFriendships are great but don't act like you'll pass if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Getting some alone time is great, too. Keeping yourself hidden can also allow you to focus on yourself and not what others think, which is a key factor to being calm.\\nIf someone hasn't called you back, lay off. There's no need to follow up with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they'll respect you a lot more.\\n1-2. Be yourself\\nIt will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don't need to join a clique. Make your own friendships. Being cool is being yourself in an outgoing way, even if you are quiet. Just remember not to come off as sullen and passive-aggressive. Be true to yourself! Don't always try to be like anyone else by copying someone else's actions or style. Although trying out those acts is fine, if you do that on a regular basis, it's going to come out as fake. No good comes out of being someone you are not. Live life for who are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, it's about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are. Remember, an original is always worth more than a copy. Be true to who you are and don't devalue yourself.\\nIf you don't let people see the real you, then what's the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all.\\nOwn your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don't apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don't like it about yourself. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world. However, don't be overconfident, or you will come off as braggy and self-centered.\\nWrite a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.\\n1-3. Practice self-disclosure.\\nThe more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to: thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes and favorites.\\nSelf-disclosure happens slowly. Don't tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life or things will quickly go south.\\n\\\"Hiding information about yourself makes you look super cool.\\\" - Sasuke Uchiha\\n1-4. Be friendly, but not excessively eager.\\nEveryone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive. When you meet a new person, take it easy, even if you think you're friend soul mates.\\nIf you're too eager to hang out with a new person, then it might look like you don't have any other friends.\\nIf you act sociable and confident no matter who you talk to at the party, then you'll definitely stand out and look like you're one of the most popular people there.\\nYou can always give someone a simple but sincere compliment so you immediately leave a positive first impression. For example, tell them you love their outfit.\\n1-5. Be a good conversationalist.\\nEveryone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Don't dominate the conversation. You don't need to share a similar story at every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on the other person's story. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends and being a good listener.\\nBe a good listener. Try to make the other person feel important, but only if you can genuinely. False enthusiasm will just appear sarcastic. When you listen to people, it not only makes them feel good about themselves but also about you. If you're stuck, remember the golden rule.\\nMost people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you.\\nWait for the right moment to make a comment. If you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach.\\nBe playful! Joke around with other people. Making fun of people is fine as long as you know your limits. Different people have different tolerance levels, so be sure that the people you around know you're kidding.\\n1-6. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms.\\nThis may make you appear as \\\"fake\\\" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly, and confidently. If you feel it is necessary to adopt a more formal register and use polysyllabic words, do so, but do not go overboard or you will appear pretentious. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.\\n1-7. Use humor.\\nCool people know how to use humor to ease any situation. They don't get annoyed and angry, and no matter how many bad things happen to them, they can still joke about it. They are aware of others' emotions but don't let bad emotions affect them. \\nHowever, it is equally important not to hold back any strong emotions. You should let go of petty things in life, but if you are going through a hard time, don't be afraid to seek the help you need.\\nLearn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.\\nYou can be cool and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at a goofy, obviously silly but funny joke. Don't be that person.\\n1-8. Speak up\\nObserve people who are \\\"cool\\\"; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, say uh, um..., or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry.\\nSay what you really feel and share your unique perspectives. As long as you're polite and genuine, people will respect that you take the initiative to say what's on your mind and that you keep the conversation going.\\n1-9. Keep your \\\"cool\\\".\\nThe very definition of cool is being calm, composed, under control, not excited, indifferent, and socially adept. Many times, cool people are those that don't get excited about things, that don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to deal with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Be confident.\\nOftentimes, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don't try but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place.\\nTake a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm.\\n1-10. Don't use bad behavior to get attention.\\nThere are many people who take up smoking, drinking, bullying, and other bad habits. Most often, this comes from negative reinforcement. After doing something bad, a person may be \\\"rewarded\\\" with attention. \\\"I can't believe he did that!\\\", people will say. It is easy to misinterpret attention as popularity, even if it's for doing something wrong. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits.\\nYou should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.\\nDon't do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.\\nDon't smoke. It won't make you cool—it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won't notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers- just don't take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit.\\nAvoid arguing. When you're cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right you just know it. You don't need to waste time, effort, and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn't seen the things you have seen.\\n1-11. Don’t just think about it — do it.\\nIt’s all very well to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually get out there and apply the theories that resonate with you. Do it! It’s scary but so, so invigorating. Who knows that who you’ll meet and what they might be able to offer you? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job, etc.)\\nBe a person of action, not a person of ideas.\\nOf course, thinking things through before jumping the gun is a great trait. But thinking things through and then not doing anything won't get you anywhere.\\n2. Thinking Cool\\n2-1. Remember that people are your equals.\\nEven a group of people is equal to you. If you're talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, the president of the United States, or an attractive person, for example, remember they are neither better than you nor worse than you are. They should be treated as you should be treated. Be respectful of other people, but expect that they will accept you as such.\\nWhen someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn't show respect towards you or the person didn't do what you asked of them.\\nPeople may be rude to you because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.\\n2-2. Understand that some people won’t get it.\\nWhile it feels amazing to dazzle people with your quick wit, sometimes you will meet someone who just doesn’t get you. They’ll look at you quizzically and ask you to clarify what you thought was a cuttingly observant pop-culture reference. It doesn’t matter. What’s fascinating about humans is that they are so diverse.\\nSenses of humor vary wildly. If you’re getting blank looks, just be polite, excuse yourself, and chronicle any embarrassments later in a stand-up comedy routine.\\n2-3. Have faith in your friends.\\nThere’s a reason they hang around you. The personality traits you despise in yourself may be the very quirks they find endearing. Let them decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of yourself to the world. If you want to be cool, then you have to believe that the people around you genuinely like you and find your relationship meaningful.\\nRemember that it's not cool to hang out with people who you think are cool just because you think it'll make you cool by proxy. Life doesn't work that way.\\n2-4. Don't be afraid to be different.\\nWhether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument, try to be different and stand out. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. These people will try to get to you, in an attempt to take the attention off of you and bestow it upon themselves.\\nThe important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness; just ignore them. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.\\n2-5. Be self-aware.\\nThere's a difference between letting people's judgments affect your self-esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.\\nDefinitely be aware of your body language at all times; a lot of people analyze your body language and get a sense of who you are. For example, if you stand at the center of the room and hold your head up high, everyone will definitely see you as confident.\\nKnowing how you come off during school, during a soccer match, or at a party can help you have a sense of what people think of you, and to adjust your actions accordingly. It doesn't mean that you have to change for you are, but if you're at a party, it's good to notice if you're completely dominating a conversation and even boring people so you can back off a bit.\\n2-6. Relax\\nSeriously. Constantly telling yourself that you're not good at socializing creates anxieties that play on your mind the next time you converse with someone. You then focus on said anxieties, and the whole thing becomes one big cycle of self-fulfillment. If you're always nervous about what can go wrong in a social situation, you won't be able to appreciate things that are going right.\\nIf you're nervous or anxious, other people will be able to tell, and they will feed off of your nervous energy, creating even more anxiety. Instead, be calm and make people feel like they are calmer in your presence and they will be drawn to you.\\nIt's okay to freak out to a trusted friend if you need to once in a while. Just don't get a reputation for being a person who is always freaking out.\\n3. Looking Cool\\n3-1. Present yourself in a positive way.\\nWalk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need. Don't walk too fast either because it looks like you are running away.\\nSmile. Be a habitual, unrepentant over-smiler, with every grin being a genuine one. If you smile when you meet someone, you instantly appear confident, friendly, and relaxed. Confident, friendly, relaxed people are much more appealing than their uptight compadres.\\n3-2. Be fit\\nBeing fit will raise your self-esteem and will make you look at the world in a more positive light. This doesn't mean that you need a six-pack to be cool, but it does mean that taking care of your body is definitely cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play a sport and keep in good shape. Eat healthy too. Having the energy to be involved in many things is something that not everyone is born with, so try to work out. You will see results if you work hard.\\nKnow that you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don't be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.\\n3-3. Practice good hygiene\\nBe sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after lunch. Wear perfume or spray on a bit, just a bit of cologne. Shower every day and wear deodorant. Also, use lotion so that your skin is not ashy, and put on some lip balm if your lips are dry. You should wash your face every morning to keep fresh and pimple free.\\nYou don't have to spend hours on your looks each day to be cool. But hey, 20–30 minutes spent showering and grooming won't kill you.\\n3-4. Project confident body language.\\nIf you want to look cool, then your body has to project confidence at all times. If you're talking to someone, make eye contact, use your hands to gesture, and sit or stand with good posture. Smile, even if you're feeling a little nervous, and don't fidget with your hands or look at the floor when you're talking to someone, or you won't look like you believe what you say.\\n3-5. Find your own style.\\nAs long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Some people have been known to get girlfriends even though they wear sweats all the time. Some of the dorkiest, \\\"uncool\\\" people are known to get girlfriends because everyone has a different perception of cool. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness.\\nYou don't have to follow trends to be cool; you just have to be able to look comfortable and happy in whatever you are wearing.\\nTips\\nRemember to be calm and collected. This means don't get over-excited, don't be annoyingly loud, and don't be clingy.\\nBe nice and not snotty. Don't make snotty or rude comebacks at people if they are being mean. Be outgoing. Let them hear your voice. Speak up for yourself and others.\\nDon't just wait for someone to ask you to hang out. They're waiting for you. Invite them over. And be prepared. Don't have them come over and you can't find anything to do. It's a real turn off for your friend, and they won't want to come back again.\\nWarnings\\nDon't base your coolness on making others seem uncool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.\\nSome people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can \\\"be cool\\\" without being a part of the most popular group.\\nAlways stick up for people, and don't bully others, because to be cool means to be liked by everyone, including those who are not as socially high-ranking as yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing and flows through life with ease and grace? Or are you learning to be the chill person, who never seems stressed or nervous and has an air of confidence? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool and collected, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident, unique, and generally on friendly terms with everyone; there's no reason you can't be like that yourself. There is really no true universal definition of how to be cool, but here are some guidelines to get you started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be needy.\", \"描述\": \"Remember, people who are cool are not needy or desperate. Instead, try to solve problems yourself whenever you can. If you are not needy, people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This quality attracts people. Neediness is a big turn off unless you're really in a tight spot. This doesn't mean you should act invincible; just don't beg people for help, act like you can't be alone, or expect others to fix your problems.\\n\\nFriendships are great but don't act like you'll pass if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Getting some alone time is great, too. Keeping yourself hidden can also allow you to focus on yourself and not what others think, which is a key factor to being calm.\\nIf someone hasn't called you back, lay off. There's no need to follow up with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they'll respect you a lot more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be yourself\", \"描述\": \"It will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don't need to join a clique. Make your own friendships. Being cool is being yourself in an outgoing way, even if you are quiet. Just remember not to come off as sullen and passive-aggressive. Be true to yourself! Don't always try to be like anyone else by copying someone else's actions or style. Although trying out those acts is fine, if you do that on a regular basis, it's going to come out as fake. No good comes out of being someone you are not. Live life for who are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, it's about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are. Remember, an original is always worth more than a copy. Be true to who you are and don't devalue yourself.\\nIf you don't let people see the real you, then what's the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all.\\nOwn your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don't apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don't like it about yourself. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world. However, don't be overconfident, or you will come off as braggy and self-centered.\\nWrite a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice self-disclosure.\", \"描述\": \"The more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to: thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes and favorites.\\nSelf-disclosure happens slowly. Don't tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life or things will quickly go south.\\n\\\"Hiding information about yourself makes you look super cool.\\\" - Sasuke Uchiha\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be friendly, but not excessively eager.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive. When you meet a new person, take it easy, even if you think you're friend soul mates.\\nIf you're too eager to hang out with a new person, then it might look like you don't have any other friends.\\nIf you act sociable and confident no matter who you talk to at the party, then you'll definitely stand out and look like you're one of the most popular people there.\\nYou can always give someone a simple but sincere compliment so you immediately leave a positive first impression. For example, tell them you love their outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be a good conversationalist.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Don't dominate the conversation. You don't need to share a similar story at every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on the other person's story. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends and being a good listener.\\nBe a good listener. Try to make the other person feel important, but only if you can genuinely. False enthusiasm will just appear sarcastic. When you listen to people, it not only makes them feel good about themselves but also about you. If you're stuck, remember the golden rule.\\nMost people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you.\\nWait for the right moment to make a comment. If you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach.\\nBe playful! Joke around with other people. Making fun of people is fine as long as you know your limits. Different people have different tolerance levels, so be sure that the people you around know you're kidding.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Refrain from using too many colloquialisms.\", \"描述\": \"This may make you appear as \\\"fake\\\" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly, and confidently. If you feel it is necessary to adopt a more formal register and use polysyllabic words, do so, but do not go overboard or you will appear pretentious. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use humor.\", \"描述\": \"Cool people know how to use humor to ease any situation. They don't get annoyed and angry, and no matter how many bad things happen to them, they can still joke about it. They are aware of others' emotions but don't let bad emotions affect them. \\nHowever, it is equally important not to hold back any strong emotions. You should let go of petty things in life, but if you are going through a hard time, don't be afraid to seek the help you need.\\nLearn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.\\nYou can be cool and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at a goofy, obviously silly but funny joke. Don't be that person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Speak up\", \"描述\": \"Observe people who are \\\"cool\\\"; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, say uh, um..., or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry.\\nSay what you really feel and share your unique perspectives. As long as you're polite and genuine, people will respect that you take the initiative to say what's on your mind and that you keep the conversation going.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep your \\\"cool\\\".\", \"描述\": \"The very definition of cool is being calm, composed, under control, not excited, indifferent, and socially adept. Many times, cool people are those that don't get excited about things, that don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to deal with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Be confident.\\nOftentimes, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don't try but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place.\\nTake a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don't use bad behavior to get attention.\", \"描述\": \"There are many people who take up smoking, drinking, bullying, and other bad habits. Most often, this comes from negative reinforcement. After doing something bad, a person may be \\\"rewarded\\\" with attention. \\\"I can't believe he did that!\\\", people will say. It is easy to misinterpret attention as popularity, even if it's for doing something wrong. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits.\\nYou should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.\\nDon't do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.\\nDon't smoke. It won't make you cool—it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won't notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers- just don't take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit.\\nAvoid arguing. When you're cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right you just know it. You don't need to waste time, effort, and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn't seen the things you have seen.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Don’t just think about it — do it.\", \"描述\": \"It’s all very well to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually get out there and apply the theories that resonate with you. Do it! It’s scary but so, so invigorating. Who knows that who you’ll meet and what they might be able to offer you? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job, etc.)\\nBe a person of action, not a person of ideas.\\nOf course, thinking things through before jumping the gun is a great trait. But thinking things through and then not doing anything won't get you anywhere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thinking Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that people are your equals.\", \"描述\": \"Even a group of people is equal to you. If you're talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, the president of the United States, or an attractive person, for example, remember they are neither better than you nor worse than you are. They should be treated as you should be treated. Be respectful of other people, but expect that they will accept you as such.\\nWhen someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn't show respect towards you or the person didn't do what you asked of them.\\nPeople may be rude to you because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand that some people won’t get it.\", \"描述\": \"While it feels amazing to dazzle people with your quick wit, sometimes you will meet someone who just doesn’t get you. They’ll look at you quizzically and ask you to clarify what you thought was a cuttingly observant pop-culture reference. It doesn’t matter. What’s fascinating about humans is that they are so diverse.\\nSenses of humor vary wildly. If you’re getting blank looks, just be polite, excuse yourself, and chronicle any embarrassments later in a stand-up comedy routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have faith in your friends.\", \"描述\": \"There’s a reason they hang around you. The personality traits you despise in yourself may be the very quirks they find endearing. Let them decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of yourself to the world. If you want to be cool, then you have to believe that the people around you genuinely like you and find your relationship meaningful.\\nRemember that it's not cool to hang out with people who you think are cool just because you think it'll make you cool by proxy. Life doesn't work that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to be different.\", \"描述\": \"Whether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument, try to be different and stand out. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. These people will try to get to you, in an attempt to take the attention off of you and bestow it upon themselves.\\nThe important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness; just ignore them. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be self-aware.\", \"描述\": \"There's a difference between letting people's judgments affect your self-esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.\\nDefinitely be aware of your body language at all times; a lot of people analyze your body language and get a sense of who you are. For example, if you stand at the center of the room and hold your head up high, everyone will definitely see you as confident.\\nKnowing how you come off during school, during a soccer match, or at a party can help you have a sense of what people think of you, and to adjust your actions accordingly. It doesn't mean that you have to change for you are, but if you're at a party, it's good to notice if you're completely dominating a conversation and even boring people so you can back off a bit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Relax\", \"描述\": \"Seriously. Constantly telling yourself that you're not good at socializing creates anxieties that play on your mind the next time you converse with someone. You then focus on said anxieties, and the whole thing becomes one big cycle of self-fulfillment. If you're always nervous about what can go wrong in a social situation, you won't be able to appreciate things that are going right.\\nIf you're nervous or anxious, other people will be able to tell, and they will feed off of your nervous energy, creating even more anxiety. Instead, be calm and make people feel like they are calmer in your presence and they will be drawn to you.\\nIt's okay to freak out to a trusted friend if you need to once in a while. Just don't get a reputation for being a person who is always freaking out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Present yourself in a positive way.\", \"描述\": \"Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need. Don't walk too fast either because it looks like you are running away.\\nSmile. Be a habitual, unrepentant over-smiler, with every grin being a genuine one. If you smile when you meet someone, you instantly appear confident, friendly, and relaxed. Confident, friendly, relaxed people are much more appealing than their uptight compadres.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be fit\", \"描述\": \"Being fit will raise your self-esteem and will make you look at the world in a more positive light. This doesn't mean that you need a six-pack to be cool, but it does mean that taking care of your body is definitely cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play a sport and keep in good shape. Eat healthy too. Having the energy to be involved in many things is something that not everyone is born with, so try to work out. You will see results if you work hard.\\nKnow that you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don't be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice good hygiene\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after lunch. Wear perfume or spray on a bit, just a bit of cologne. Shower every day and wear deodorant. Also, use lotion so that your skin is not ashy, and put on some lip balm if your lips are dry. You should wash your face every morning to keep fresh and pimple free.\\nYou don't have to spend hours on your looks each day to be cool. But hey, 20–30 minutes spent showering and grooming won't kill you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Project confident body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to look cool, then your body has to project confidence at all times. If you're talking to someone, make eye contact, use your hands to gesture, and sit or stand with good posture. Smile, even if you're feeling a little nervous, and don't fidget with your hands or look at the floor when you're talking to someone, or you won't look like you believe what you say.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find your own style.\", \"描述\": \"As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Some people have been known to get girlfriends even though they wear sweats all the time. Some of the dorkiest, \\\"uncool\\\" people are known to get girlfriends because everyone has a different perception of cool. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness.\\nYou don't have to follow trends to be cool; you just have to be able to look comfortable and happy in whatever you are wearing.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember to be calm and collected. This means don't get over-excited, don't be annoyingly loud, and don't be clingy.\\n\", \"Be nice and not snotty. Don't make snotty or rude comebacks at people if they are being mean. Be outgoing. Let them hear your voice. Speak up for yourself and others.\\n\", \"Don't just wait for someone to ask you to hang out. They're waiting for you. Invite them over. And be prepared. Don't have them come over and you can't find anything to do. It's a real turn off for your friend, and they won't want to come back again.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't base your coolness on making others seem uncool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.\\n\", \"Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can \\\"be cool\\\" without being a part of the most popular group.\\n\", \"Always stick up for people, and don't bully others, because to be cool means to be liked by everyone, including those who are not as socially high-ranking as yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,650 | How to Be Cool So Girls Notice You | 1. Getting Girls to Notice You
1-1. Maintain your personal hygiene.
You've got to look after your appearance if you expect girls to be interested in it. The first step is regular showers, brushing your teeth daily, and wearing deodorant.
Body spray or cologne can make you more attractive to girls.
Yellow armpit stains may be caused by antiperspirant deodorant. Depending on how much you sweat, you might be better off using a different, non-antiperspirant brand, and wearing a thin undershirt instead to catch some moisture.
1-2. Pay attention to your wardrobe.
If any of your clothes are stained or tattered, throw them away and replace them. You don't need to buy into expensive designer fads or mimic what the "cool kids" wear, just to show that you think about your style.
Wear clothes that fit you comfortably, not too tight and not too baggy.
Don't wear the same outfit so long that it gets smelly or that people start to comment on it. Ideally, toss your shirt in the laundry basket after one use, and your pants (trousers) after three.
Ironing your clothes doesn't hurt, especially when you're going to an event.
1-3. Choose an attention grabber (optional).
This isn't necessary to get noticed, but if you want a reputation as a "cool guy," it might pay off to stand out from the crowd. This could be a shirt with a funny joke on it, a brightly colored pin, or a pair of sunglasses. Choose something that you're comfortable wearing regularly, so people start to associate you with a unique style.
Run your choice by close friends first if you're not sure. There's a fine line between standing out in a crowd and looking silly. You can even cross that line and turn the attention to your benefit, but that takes a lot of self-confidence to pull off.
1-4. Practice confident posture
Confident body language can make a surprising difference in how approachable you look, and can boost your own self-esteem as well. Stand and sit straight up. Your shoulders should be pulled back and aligned over your hips, with the back of your neck straight up over them.
When standing without something to do, find a position that you can hold comfortably, so you don't fidget awkwardly. If you can't stop shifting your weight back and forth, lean slightly against a wall.
If you have trouble keeping your hands still, hold a drink or other object at your side. Don't put the object in front of you, and don't use something distracting like a cell phone – both of these mistakes cut you off from your surroundings.
1-5. Pay attention to your surroundings.
Keep your chin up and your head back while walking or standing, and look at the people around you. You'll see a lot more opportunities this way than if you're daydreaming or rushing down the street. This simple change in body language will make you seem more confident and accessible as well, two important traits for attracting social attention.
1-6. Boost your confidence with visualization.
If you get tongue-tied or shaky when talking to women, spend some time alone building up to it. Sit in a private place and close your eyes, imagining feeling completely comfortable and calm. Keeping those feelings in mind, imagine walking up to a woman you've never met and introducing yourself. Repeat this exercise daily for a week, then try it in real life.
If you still don't feel ready, try making eye contact with strangers on the street and saying "Hello." Smile, and don't let yourself look away before they do.
Get rid of your negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend.
2. Interacting with Girls
2-1. Have conversation starters ready.
You might not think of yourself as a skilled talker, but a little advance preparation goes a long way to change that. Keep in mind that the first conversation you have with someone shouldn't explore deep issues of faith, politic stances, or lifelong dreams, unless they're clearly interested. It's just a quick way to get a conversation flowing. Here are some examples of ways you can prepare, depending on your age and the kind of people you spend time with:
Listen to popular music and think about your opinions on it. If you don't like it, find a band you do like and write down how it's similar to more well-known music, and why you like it more.
Watch movies currently in theaters, or currently running television shows.
Read news sites or the newspaper daily to catch up on current events or local news.
2-2. Prepare stories about yourself.
Come up with two or three interesting stories from your life, to tell when the conversation stops. This is a great way to show that you're a cool and interesting person.
If you're passionate about a hobby, talk about it. People are often most interesting when talking about something they love.
Humor is a great tool to use, if used properly. Try to tease yourself or make funny observations about the situation you're in. Teasing the woman or people around you should be kept to a minimum, and should always be light-hearted, not mean.
2-3. Join conversations.
The "brooding guy in a corner" look isn't nearly as cool or attractive as it seems. Walk up to people and say hi, and make an effort to listen to the conversation and respond to it. The more people are directly interacting with you, the more you'll be noticed by other people in the surroundings.
Don't think of this as "picking a target." Talking to men can work fine, as long as they don't try to overshadow you or dominate the conversation.
2-4. Make eye contact and smile.
When you're looking for someone to approach, scan their faces, not their shoes or the sky – and definitely not anywhere else on their anatomy. Once you make eye contact with someone, smile and say hello. Keep looking at the other person's eyes during the conversation.
2-5. Lean forward slightly while talking.
Once you're in conversation with a girl, tilt your head and shoulders forward slightly. This is a cue that you're engaged in the conversation, and interested in continuing it.
2-6. Compliment her
A small compliment is a much better first step than a long speech about how long you've been crushing on her or how she stunned you as soon as you laid eyes on her. It's tough to come up with a compliment that doesn't sound generic or forced, but with some practice you'll get the smiles and blushes that show you're on the right track.
If you know something about her work or something she did, compliment that instead of her appearance.
Try to make beauty-related compliments unique to her, and focus on something she controls, such as her hairstyle or clothing choices.
A straightforward remark works better than a cheesy pick up line or catcall. "You seemed so warm and friendly that I wanted to come over and introduce myself" won't win any prizes, but it will start more conversations than "Heyyyy sexy."
Keep your conversations light and playful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Girls to Notice You\\n1-1. Maintain your personal hygiene.\\nYou've got to look after your appearance if you expect girls to be interested in it. The first step is regular showers, brushing your teeth daily, and wearing deodorant.\\nBody spray or cologne can make you more attractive to girls.\\nYellow armpit stains may be caused by antiperspirant deodorant. Depending on how much you sweat, you might be better off using a different, non-antiperspirant brand, and wearing a thin undershirt instead to catch some moisture.\\n1-2. Pay attention to your wardrobe.\\nIf any of your clothes are stained or tattered, throw them away and replace them. You don't need to buy into expensive designer fads or mimic what the \\\"cool kids\\\" wear, just to show that you think about your style.\\nWear clothes that fit you comfortably, not too tight and not too baggy.\\nDon't wear the same outfit so long that it gets smelly or that people start to comment on it. Ideally, toss your shirt in the laundry basket after one use, and your pants (trousers) after three.\\nIroning your clothes doesn't hurt, especially when you're going to an event.\\n1-3. Choose an attention grabber (optional).\\nThis isn't necessary to get noticed, but if you want a reputation as a \\\"cool guy,\\\" it might pay off to stand out from the crowd. This could be a shirt with a funny joke on it, a brightly colored pin, or a pair of sunglasses. Choose something that you're comfortable wearing regularly, so people start to associate you with a unique style.\\nRun your choice by close friends first if you're not sure. There's a fine line between standing out in a crowd and looking silly. You can even cross that line and turn the attention to your benefit, but that takes a lot of self-confidence to pull off.\\n1-4. Practice confident posture\\nConfident body language can make a surprising difference in how approachable you look, and can boost your own self-esteem as well. Stand and sit straight up. Your shoulders should be pulled back and aligned over your hips, with the back of your neck straight up over them.\\nWhen standing without something to do, find a position that you can hold comfortably, so you don't fidget awkwardly. If you can't stop shifting your weight back and forth, lean slightly against a wall.\\nIf you have trouble keeping your hands still, hold a drink or other object at your side. Don't put the object in front of you, and don't use something distracting like a cell phone – both of these mistakes cut you off from your surroundings.\\n1-5. Pay attention to your surroundings.\\nKeep your chin up and your head back while walking or standing, and look at the people around you. You'll see a lot more opportunities this way than if you're daydreaming or rushing down the street. This simple change in body language will make you seem more confident and accessible as well, two important traits for attracting social attention.\\n1-6. Boost your confidence with visualization.\\nIf you get tongue-tied or shaky when talking to women, spend some time alone building up to it. Sit in a private place and close your eyes, imagining feeling completely comfortable and calm. Keeping those feelings in mind, imagine walking up to a woman you've never met and introducing yourself. Repeat this exercise daily for a week, then try it in real life.\\nIf you still don't feel ready, try making eye contact with strangers on the street and saying \\\"Hello.\\\" Smile, and don't let yourself look away before they do.\\nGet rid of your negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend.\\n2. Interacting with Girls\\n2-1. Have conversation starters ready.\\nYou might not think of yourself as a skilled talker, but a little advance preparation goes a long way to change that. Keep in mind that the first conversation you have with someone shouldn't explore deep issues of faith, politic stances, or lifelong dreams, unless they're clearly interested. It's just a quick way to get a conversation flowing. Here are some examples of ways you can prepare, depending on your age and the kind of people you spend time with:\\nListen to popular music and think about your opinions on it. If you don't like it, find a band you do like and write down how it's similar to more well-known music, and why you like it more.\\nWatch movies currently in theaters, or currently running television shows.\\nRead news sites or the newspaper daily to catch up on current events or local news.\\n2-2. Prepare stories about yourself.\\nCome up with two or three interesting stories from your life, to tell when the conversation stops. This is a great way to show that you're a cool and interesting person.\\nIf you're passionate about a hobby, talk about it. People are often most interesting when talking about something they love.\\nHumor is a great tool to use, if used properly. Try to tease yourself or make funny observations about the situation you're in. Teasing the woman or people around you should be kept to a minimum, and should always be light-hearted, not mean.\\n2-3. Join conversations.\\nThe \\\"brooding guy in a corner\\\" look isn't nearly as cool or attractive as it seems. Walk up to people and say hi, and make an effort to listen to the conversation and respond to it. The more people are directly interacting with you, the more you'll be noticed by other people in the surroundings.\\nDon't think of this as \\\"picking a target.\\\" Talking to men can work fine, as long as they don't try to overshadow you or dominate the conversation.\\n2-4. Make eye contact and smile.\\nWhen you're looking for someone to approach, scan their faces, not their shoes or the sky – and definitely not anywhere else on their anatomy. Once you make eye contact with someone, smile and say hello. Keep looking at the other person's eyes during the conversation.\\n2-5. Lean forward slightly while talking.\\nOnce you're in conversation with a girl, tilt your head and shoulders forward slightly. This is a cue that you're engaged in the conversation, and interested in continuing it.\\n2-6. Compliment her\\nA small compliment is a much better first step than a long speech about how long you've been crushing on her or how she stunned you as soon as you laid eyes on her. It's tough to come up with a compliment that doesn't sound generic or forced, but with some practice you'll get the smiles and blushes that show you're on the right track.\\nIf you know something about her work or something she did, compliment that instead of her appearance.\\nTry to make beauty-related compliments unique to her, and focus on something she controls, such as her hairstyle or clothing choices.\\nA straightforward remark works better than a cheesy pick up line or catcall. \\\"You seemed so warm and friendly that I wanted to come over and introduce myself\\\" won't win any prizes, but it will start more conversations than \\\"Heyyyy sexy.\\\"\\nKeep your conversations light and playful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There's no magical secret that divides the cool from the uncool, or that attracts women in droves. Forget about fashion fads and fitting in with the right clique. You can get the kind of attention you want if you focus on showing yourself and the world that you have self-confidence and an interest in the people around you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Girls to Notice You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your personal hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"You've got to look after your appearance if you expect girls to be interested in it. The first step is regular showers, brushing your teeth daily, and wearing deodorant.\\nBody spray or cologne can make you more attractive to girls.\\nYellow armpit stains may be caused by antiperspirant deodorant. Depending on how much you sweat, you might be better off using a different, non-antiperspirant brand, and wearing a thin undershirt instead to catch some moisture.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your wardrobe.\", \"描述\": \"If any of your clothes are stained or tattered, throw them away and replace them. You don't need to buy into expensive designer fads or mimic what the \\\"cool kids\\\" wear, just to show that you think about your style.\\nWear clothes that fit you comfortably, not too tight and not too baggy.\\nDon't wear the same outfit so long that it gets smelly or that people start to comment on it. Ideally, toss your shirt in the laundry basket after one use, and your pants (trousers) after three.\\nIroning your clothes doesn't hurt, especially when you're going to an event.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose an attention grabber (optional).\", \"描述\": \"This isn't necessary to get noticed, but if you want a reputation as a \\\"cool guy,\\\" it might pay off to stand out from the crowd. This could be a shirt with a funny joke on it, a brightly colored pin, or a pair of sunglasses. Choose something that you're comfortable wearing regularly, so people start to associate you with a unique style.\\nRun your choice by close friends first if you're not sure. There's a fine line between standing out in a crowd and looking silly. You can even cross that line and turn the attention to your benefit, but that takes a lot of self-confidence to pull off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice confident posture\", \"描述\": \"Confident body language can make a surprising difference in how approachable you look, and can boost your own self-esteem as well. Stand and sit straight up. Your shoulders should be pulled back and aligned over your hips, with the back of your neck straight up over them.\\nWhen standing without something to do, find a position that you can hold comfortably, so you don't fidget awkwardly. If you can't stop shifting your weight back and forth, lean slightly against a wall.\\nIf you have trouble keeping your hands still, hold a drink or other object at your side. Don't put the object in front of you, and don't use something distracting like a cell phone – both of these mistakes cut you off from your surroundings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your chin up and your head back while walking or standing, and look at the people around you. You'll see a lot more opportunities this way than if you're daydreaming or rushing down the street. This simple change in body language will make you seem more confident and accessible as well, two important traits for attracting social attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Boost your confidence with visualization.\", \"描述\": \"If you get tongue-tied or shaky when talking to women, spend some time alone building up to it. Sit in a private place and close your eyes, imagining feeling completely comfortable and calm. Keeping those feelings in mind, imagine walking up to a woman you've never met and introducing yourself. Repeat this exercise daily for a week, then try it in real life.\\nIf you still don't feel ready, try making eye contact with strangers on the street and saying \\\"Hello.\\\" Smile, and don't let yourself look away before they do.\\nGet rid of your negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Girls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have conversation starters ready.\", \"描述\": \"You might not think of yourself as a skilled talker, but a little advance preparation goes a long way to change that. Keep in mind that the first conversation you have with someone shouldn't explore deep issues of faith, politic stances, or lifelong dreams, unless they're clearly interested. It's just a quick way to get a conversation flowing. Here are some examples of ways you can prepare, depending on your age and the kind of people you spend time with:\\nListen to popular music and think about your opinions on it. If you don't like it, find a band you do like and write down how it's similar to more well-known music, and why you like it more.\\nWatch movies currently in theaters, or currently running television shows.\\nRead news sites or the newspaper daily to catch up on current events or local news.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare stories about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Come up with two or three interesting stories from your life, to tell when the conversation stops. This is a great way to show that you're a cool and interesting person.\\nIf you're passionate about a hobby, talk about it. People are often most interesting when talking about something they love.\\nHumor is a great tool to use, if used properly. Try to tease yourself or make funny observations about the situation you're in. Teasing the woman or people around you should be kept to a minimum, and should always be light-hearted, not mean.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join conversations.\", \"描述\": \"The \\\"brooding guy in a corner\\\" look isn't nearly as cool or attractive as it seems. Walk up to people and say hi, and make an effort to listen to the conversation and respond to it. The more people are directly interacting with you, the more you'll be noticed by other people in the surroundings.\\nDon't think of this as \\\"picking a target.\\\" Talking to men can work fine, as long as they don't try to overshadow you or dominate the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact and smile.\", \"描述\": \"When you're looking for someone to approach, scan their faces, not their shoes or the sky – and definitely not anywhere else on their anatomy. Once you make eye contact with someone, smile and say hello. Keep looking at the other person's eyes during the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Lean forward slightly while talking.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're in conversation with a girl, tilt your head and shoulders forward slightly. This is a cue that you're engaged in the conversation, and interested in continuing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Compliment her\", \"描述\": \"A small compliment is a much better first step than a long speech about how long you've been crushing on her or how she stunned you as soon as you laid eyes on her. It's tough to come up with a compliment that doesn't sound generic or forced, but with some practice you'll get the smiles and blushes that show you're on the right track.\\nIf you know something about her work or something she did, compliment that instead of her appearance.\\nTry to make beauty-related compliments unique to her, and focus on something she controls, such as her hairstyle or clothing choices.\\nA straightforward remark works better than a cheesy pick up line or catcall. \\\"You seemed so warm and friendly that I wanted to come over and introduce myself\\\" won't win any prizes, but it will start more conversations than \\\"Heyyyy sexy.\\\"\\nKeep your conversations light and playful.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,651 | How to Be Cool and Popular | 1. Getting Attention
1-1. Don’t let other people tell you who you are.
It’s not very cool to dress or act a certain way just to make other people happy or to make them think you’re cool. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. Don’t wear preppy polos or strappy sandals or whatever everyone else is wearing just because someone made fun of your unique style; don’t act chill or disaffected just because someone accused you of being “hyper.” If you have your own thing going for you, then it’s cool to stick to it, and let the haters hate.
Though “stop caring about what people think” may sound impossible, you can definitely do it if you make a point of casting aside the comments that were made about you and going on about your day. People who have nothing but negativity to spread aren’t worth your time.
If people are spreading rumors about you or just saying bad things about you, don’t fight back by starting rumors of your own. Instead, take the high road and ignore these haters, showing that you’ve got better things to do with your time than to care about what they’re saying about you. That is definitely cool.
1-2. Let people see you having a great time.
One important characteristic of a cool and popular person is that he or she generally has a great time no matter where he or she goes. Though you don’t need to laugh like a maniac in the middle of an organic chemistry test, you should make an effort to have a good time no matter what you’re doing. Whether you’re waiting in the cafeteria line, chatting with your friends at your locker, or working in a group activity in school, you should give off a positive energy and act like you’re enjoying yourself. People will be attracted to your optimistic nature and will want to spend time around you.
To make this easier, you should try to spend as much of your time doing the things you love as you can. Of course no one will see you having a great time if you’re stuck in detention or are on your way to band practice when you can’t stand it.
Work on developing a positive energy that makes you see the bright side of things, and makes you quick to laugh instead of worry.
Focus on being in the present moment instead of being concerned about how you come off.
1-3. Do something you love.
Another way to get people to notice you is to do the things you love. This can mean taking dance lessons, singing with your friends, sketching, or even making your own clothes. It doesn’t matter what you do; what does matter is that you’re passionate about it. That passion will attract people and will make them think you’re a person who is interesting and worth knowing. Doing something you love will also lead you to get to know more people who share your passion.
You can also get noticed by teaching people to master the thing you’re good at. You can offer to give people drawing lessons, tennis tips, or even tell people how to be the best at tetherball. If you’re willing to teach other people and help them improve, then you will definitely come off as cool.
1-4. Wow people with your confidence.
People who are truly cool and popular have an understated confidence in who they are and what they’re about. If you’re cool and popular, then you don’t have to brag or show off, but you should project a positive energy and a happiness when you talk about who you are and what plans you have for your future. Stand up tall, smile, and speak with authority, acting like you’re not trying to put on a front or like you’re down on yourself. Showing how confident you are can go a long way in making you truly cool and popular.
Talk about something you’re looking forward to over the weekend or an awesome show or movie that you saw. Make it clear that you’re happy with what you’ve been doing and that you want to share your ideas with people. Now that’s confidence.
Compliment other people as often as you can while being genuine. People who are confident aren’t jealous and see the good in people and are happy to point it out.
Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know and strike up a conversation with that person. Now that takes confidence.
1-5. Rock your own style.
There’s no one way to dress if you want to be cool and popular. Of course, there are some stores where “cool” people may like to shop, such as Urban Outfitters or Abercrombie, but that doesn’t mean that going there will make you cool and popular. It’s far more important for you to wear something that fits well, looks clean, and shows off your individuality than to give in to a certain style of fashion. If you like graphic tees, Converse, or dangling earrings, just own the look instead of questioning it or asking other people what they think about it.
Don’t worry about having a perfectly-matching, immaculately-coordinated look. Wearing clothes that are offbeat or unique can be much more interesting if you can pull it off.
The most important thing is that your clothes fit you well. Wearing clothes that are too baggy can make you look sloppy and wearing clothes that are too tight can make you look more provocative than you intended.
Just remember to shower and groom yourself daily. It will be hard to pull off any look if you look sloppy or haven’t showered in a few days.
1-6. Don’t be too cool for school.
You may think that it’s cool to act like you’re too good for school or like you have better places to be, but in fact, acting like you’re “too cool for school” will just make you look like someone who is kind of boring, or who doesn’t have anything he’s passionate about. While you don’t have to suck up to your teachers or go on and on about how much you love gym class, you should act like you’re actually alert and happy to be where you are, so that people want to be around you. Complaining, sleeping in class, or just talking about how you have better things to do won’t really win anyone over.
It’s actually much more cool to care about the parts of school that you really love, and to make a name for yourself in them, whether you’re a history buff or president of the Student Council. If you don’t care about anything except cutting class, people won’t know who you are.
Being a good students in the classroom, helping others with their homework, and taking the initiative to ask questions can actually make you more popular. When everybody has an issue with the same topic but feels intimidated to ask the teacher for help, be the one who asks! People will see that you can speak up for what you need, and that you are brave—and that means a cool person to hang out with.
1-7. Be friendly to everyone.
Cool and popular people aren’t actually mean to everyone except the other people they determine to be “cool.” Instead, they make a point of talking to everyone around because they’re friendly, outgoing, and like to get to know people. Besides, your life won’t be very fun or engaging if you’re determined to ignore almost every person you know because you deem them to be not cool enough for you. Instead, make a point of saying hi, striking up a conversation, or just generally being kind to everyone around you unless they give you a reason to act otherwise.
The definition of popular is “well-liked.” If you want to be well-liked, then you need to know a lot of different people so that they can like you. If you only talk to 10 people, then, while they may like you fine, you wouldn’t be well-liked by all.
Don’t overdo, however, because it may come across as strange and even fake. Do kind, courteous things to show that you are human and recognize your impact on others, but don’t try to be overly nice, and remember that some things are reserved for you genuine friends only.
If you put people down or are just mean to people who you think are unworthy, then you’ll come off as insecure.
2. Being Social
2-1. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people.
You may think that people who are cool and popular only tend to talk to the other five cool and popular people in their grade, but that’s far from the truth. In fact, people who are actually cool and popular are comfortable talking to people they don’t know because they’re confident in who they are and are always looking for ways to make their life even more fun and exciting. Whether there’s a new girl in town or you want to get to know a guy in your math class, making the effort to talk to new people will go a long way in making you cool and popular.
Just say hi and introduce yourself when the time is right. Most people will be happy to talk to someone new, especially if they don’t know anybody.
If a new person seems shy or quiet, don’t mistake this as rudeness. It can take longer for some people to open up than others.
2-2. Ask people about themselves.
Another way to be cool and popular is to show a genuine interest in people. You can do this by asking them simple questions like what their favorite classes are or what their plans are for the summer. Demonstrate a real interest in getting to know them, their interests, and their everyday thoughts and they will be impressed by how caring and kind you are. Though you shouldn’t interview people and not reveal anything about yourself, you should work to maintain a balance between getting to know people and talking about yourself.
The fact of the matter is, most people love to talk about themselves, even if they need to be prodded a little. If you get them talking about their favorite subject, then they will like you, and you will therefore become more popular.
Of course, you shouldn’t just ask people questions to make them like you. You should work on genuinely caring about getting to know people.
2-3. Avoid bragging.
People who are truly cool and popular don’t need to brag about themselves because they’re already happy and confident in who they are and know that other people can tell without them having to say so. You can talk about the things you love to do without mentioning how great you are at French, skiing, or winning debates. There’s nothing people hate more than a show-off, and talking about how great you are will only make people think the opposite. Besides, self-promotion is not cool. Modesty is.
If you’re really good at something, then other people will find out, whether they see it for themselves, hear it from your friends, or read about the goal you kicked in the school paper. Trust that your successes will come through and that you don’t need to broadcast them.
Instead of talking about how good you are at something, take the time to compliment other people, whether they are on your debate team or your football team.
2-4. Let other people do the talking.
If you want to be cool and popular, you should be outgoing and fun to talk to, but you also shouldn’t completely dominate conversations. The truth is, people care a lot more if you’re interested in them than if you’re interesting, so you should focus more on making them feel like interesting people and letting them talk instead of rambling on and on as an attempt to look cool. Of course, you shouldn’t speak in one-word sentences, either, but you should make sure that other people feel comfortable talking to you if you want them to like you and to think you’re cool.
Whenever you’re having a conversation with someone, try not to do more than 50% of the talking. Nobody likes to stand there and hear a person go on and on.
If you’re in a group setting, try not to dominate the conversation. Let at least three people speak before you tell another story or make another long comment. Though you shouldn’t monitor yourself every second of the conversation, you should be aware of not taking over.
2-5. Find common bonds with people.
Another way to be cool and popular is to actually connect with people by finding common bonds. You don’t have to have everything in common, but you should find a way to talk about things you and the person you’re talking to cares about, from your love for Drake to your mutual affection for the Oakland A’s. When you come up to talk to a person you know, try to think of something you both care about, from a teacher you like to poke fun at to an after-school activity you do together. If you focus on these points of interest, people will feel like they have more to say to you.
Get to know your audience when you talk to people. The brainy girl from your English class may want to talk to you about books or films, while the sporty guy on your baseball team may want to talk about the Mets game instead.
Learn to read body language. If the person you’re talking to is shifting on his feet, checking his phone, or responding in one-word answers, then he or she may want to change the topic to something that you both care about.
2-6. Take the time to really listen to people.
It’s one thing to be a socialite who knows everyone by name, and another to actually get to know people. While it’s great to know a lot of people and to be friendly to them, it’s also nice to actually take the time to know what goes on inside their heads. Though you can’t get to know everyone, take the time to really listen to people when they do talk to you, whether they’re telling you about their weekend plans, their worries about their grades, or about what they’re wearing to the school dance. People who are cool and popular actually care about people, and stand out because they can make anyone feel special.
When someone is trying to tell you something, nothing else should matter. Put away your phone, stop looking around, and look into their eyes as they tell you what they have to say.
Avoid interrupting or giving your opinion until the person is done talking.
Focus on listening to the person on his or her own terms, instead of comparing the situation or experiences to something that happened to you. If you find yourself saying, “That sounds just like my break up…” then you’re not really listening.
2-7. Don’t put people down to look good.
If you really want to be cool and popular, then you shouldn’t have to put people down just to make yourself look awesome. In fact, being mean to people, especially people who don’t have a lot of friends and who are looked down upon, is one of the lowest, most pathetic things you can do. If you want people to truly respect you and to feel like you’re a kind person, then you can’t go around demeaning people. It won’t make you look good or cool at all, but like a person who is so insecure that he needs to bring other people down to feel better. That is decidedly not cool.
If you hang out with people who regularly put other people down, then it may be time to find some new friends. First, though, talk to your friends to see if they are willing to change the behavior.
3. Getting Involved
3-1. Join a sports team.
One way to be cool and popular is to join a sports team, if you are so inclined. Of course, if you have two left feet and completely hate sports, then there’s no need to torture yourself. But if you’re interested in sports or have been pretty good at baseball, soccer, or tennis in the past, then joining a sports team can help you make new connections, gain leadership abilities, and work well with others. All of these skills will help you become more cool and popular.
Joining a sports team will also let you meet a lot of cool people who you might not get to meet in your classes. It’ll help you expand your social network, and people who are truly cool and popular have a wide social circle.
3-2. Join a club.
Another way to expand your social network and to be cool and popular is to meet people through clubs. You can join the Student Council, the school paper, the school yearbook, or a variety of other clubs that let you explore your interests. You’ll get to meet a variety of new people and will be able to bond over a shared interest. Talking about something you actually love? Now that’s definitely cool.
You may also meet a different type of person in some of your clubs than you would while being part of a sports team. Being friends with a variety of people helps you learn how to talk to almost anyone and can help you become more well-known.
Just being part of the club is not going to make you popular. It is important to really enjoy the activity, express yourself in a positive way, and share your excitement with other people who like it.
3-3. Get involved in your community.
You may not think there’s anything cool about getting involved in a tutoring program at your local library or volunteering at a soup kitchen every other Sunday. However, being active in your community, whether you’re campaigning for a local politician whose cause you believe in or you’re cleaning up a local park, will help you get to know a variety of people of a variety of different ages. You’ll be building your character while learning to interact with a wider swath of people — and that is definitely cool.
If you’re involved in your community, you may even gain experience talking to older people, which is a valuable skill that can help you become more mature and knowledgeable. These people may have a thing or two to teach you about what it really means to be cool.
3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.
If you want to be cool and popular, then you should try to expand your area of interests. While it’s great to be the football captain, you would be exposing yourself to a lot of similarly-minded people if you follow that route. If you really want to be cool and popular, then you can join the football team, but also make time for yearbook or volunteering. Of course, you don’t want to put too much on your plate, but you also don’t want to spend your life only associating with one type of person, either.
Maintaining a variety of interests can help you meet a number of interesting people. Once you befriend them, you should also work on expanding your social circle and hanging out with those people at non-club or sports related activities.
Joining a club, a sports team, or a community network can also help you find your talents and develop them. Having a talent is very cool indeed.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Attention\\n1-1. Don’t let other people tell you who you are.\\nIt’s not very cool to dress or act a certain way just to make other people happy or to make them think you’re cool. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. Don’t wear preppy polos or strappy sandals or whatever everyone else is wearing just because someone made fun of your unique style; don’t act chill or disaffected just because someone accused you of being “hyper.” If you have your own thing going for you, then it’s cool to stick to it, and let the haters hate.\\nThough “stop caring about what people think” may sound impossible, you can definitely do it if you make a point of casting aside the comments that were made about you and going on about your day. People who have nothing but negativity to spread aren’t worth your time.\\nIf people are spreading rumors about you or just saying bad things about you, don’t fight back by starting rumors of your own. Instead, take the high road and ignore these haters, showing that you’ve got better things to do with your time than to care about what they’re saying about you. That is definitely cool.\\n1-2. Let people see you having a great time.\\nOne important characteristic of a cool and popular person is that he or she generally has a great time no matter where he or she goes. Though you don’t need to laugh like a maniac in the middle of an organic chemistry test, you should make an effort to have a good time no matter what you’re doing. Whether you’re waiting in the cafeteria line, chatting with your friends at your locker, or working in a group activity in school, you should give off a positive energy and act like you’re enjoying yourself. People will be attracted to your optimistic nature and will want to spend time around you.\\nTo make this easier, you should try to spend as much of your time doing the things you love as you can. Of course no one will see you having a great time if you’re stuck in detention or are on your way to band practice when you can’t stand it.\\nWork on developing a positive energy that makes you see the bright side of things, and makes you quick to laugh instead of worry.\\nFocus on being in the present moment instead of being concerned about how you come off.\\n1-3. Do something you love.\\nAnother way to get people to notice you is to do the things you love. This can mean taking dance lessons, singing with your friends, sketching, or even making your own clothes. It doesn’t matter what you do; what does matter is that you’re passionate about it. That passion will attract people and will make them think you’re a person who is interesting and worth knowing. Doing something you love will also lead you to get to know more people who share your passion.\\nYou can also get noticed by teaching people to master the thing you’re good at. You can offer to give people drawing lessons, tennis tips, or even tell people how to be the best at tetherball. If you’re willing to teach other people and help them improve, then you will definitely come off as cool.\\n1-4. Wow people with your confidence.\\nPeople who are truly cool and popular have an understated confidence in who they are and what they’re about. If you’re cool and popular, then you don’t have to brag or show off, but you should project a positive energy and a happiness when you talk about who you are and what plans you have for your future. Stand up tall, smile, and speak with authority, acting like you’re not trying to put on a front or like you’re down on yourself. Showing how confident you are can go a long way in making you truly cool and popular.\\nTalk about something you’re looking forward to over the weekend or an awesome show or movie that you saw. Make it clear that you’re happy with what you’ve been doing and that you want to share your ideas with people. Now that’s confidence.\\nCompliment other people as often as you can while being genuine. People who are confident aren’t jealous and see the good in people and are happy to point it out.\\nIntroduce yourself to someone you don’t know and strike up a conversation with that person. Now that takes confidence.\\n1-5. Rock your own style.\\nThere’s no one way to dress if you want to be cool and popular. Of course, there are some stores where “cool” people may like to shop, such as Urban Outfitters or Abercrombie, but that doesn’t mean that going there will make you cool and popular. It’s far more important for you to wear something that fits well, looks clean, and shows off your individuality than to give in to a certain style of fashion. If you like graphic tees, Converse, or dangling earrings, just own the look instead of questioning it or asking other people what they think about it.\\nDon’t worry about having a perfectly-matching, immaculately-coordinated look. Wearing clothes that are offbeat or unique can be much more interesting if you can pull it off.\\nThe most important thing is that your clothes fit you well. Wearing clothes that are too baggy can make you look sloppy and wearing clothes that are too tight can make you look more provocative than you intended.\\nJust remember to shower and groom yourself daily. It will be hard to pull off any look if you look sloppy or haven’t showered in a few days.\\n1-6. Don’t be too cool for school.\\nYou may think that it’s cool to act like you’re too good for school or like you have better places to be, but in fact, acting like you’re “too cool for school” will just make you look like someone who is kind of boring, or who doesn’t have anything he’s passionate about. While you don’t have to suck up to your teachers or go on and on about how much you love gym class, you should act like you’re actually alert and happy to be where you are, so that people want to be around you. Complaining, sleeping in class, or just talking about how you have better things to do won’t really win anyone over.\\nIt’s actually much more cool to care about the parts of school that you really love, and to make a name for yourself in them, whether you’re a history buff or president of the Student Council. If you don’t care about anything except cutting class, people won’t know who you are.\\nBeing a good students in the classroom, helping others with their homework, and taking the initiative to ask questions can actually make you more popular. When everybody has an issue with the same topic but feels intimidated to ask the teacher for help, be the one who asks! People will see that you can speak up for what you need, and that you are brave—and that means a cool person to hang out with.\\n1-7. Be friendly to everyone.\\nCool and popular people aren’t actually mean to everyone except the other people they determine to be “cool.” Instead, they make a point of talking to everyone around because they’re friendly, outgoing, and like to get to know people. Besides, your life won’t be very fun or engaging if you’re determined to ignore almost every person you know because you deem them to be not cool enough for you. Instead, make a point of saying hi, striking up a conversation, or just generally being kind to everyone around you unless they give you a reason to act otherwise.\\nThe definition of popular is “well-liked.” If you want to be well-liked, then you need to know a lot of different people so that they can like you. If you only talk to 10 people, then, while they may like you fine, you wouldn’t be well-liked by all.\\nDon’t overdo, however, because it may come across as strange and even fake. Do kind, courteous things to show that you are human and recognize your impact on others, but don’t try to be overly nice, and remember that some things are reserved for you genuine friends only.\\nIf you put people down or are just mean to people who you think are unworthy, then you’ll come off as insecure.\\n2. Being Social\\n2-1. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people.\\nYou may think that people who are cool and popular only tend to talk to the other five cool and popular people in their grade, but that’s far from the truth. In fact, people who are actually cool and popular are comfortable talking to people they don’t know because they’re confident in who they are and are always looking for ways to make their life even more fun and exciting. Whether there’s a new girl in town or you want to get to know a guy in your math class, making the effort to talk to new people will go a long way in making you cool and popular.\\nJust say hi and introduce yourself when the time is right. Most people will be happy to talk to someone new, especially if they don’t know anybody.\\nIf a new person seems shy or quiet, don’t mistake this as rudeness. It can take longer for some people to open up than others.\\n2-2. Ask people about themselves.\\nAnother way to be cool and popular is to show a genuine interest in people. You can do this by asking them simple questions like what their favorite classes are or what their plans are for the summer. Demonstrate a real interest in getting to know them, their interests, and their everyday thoughts and they will be impressed by how caring and kind you are. Though you shouldn’t interview people and not reveal anything about yourself, you should work to maintain a balance between getting to know people and talking about yourself.\\nThe fact of the matter is, most people love to talk about themselves, even if they need to be prodded a little. If you get them talking about their favorite subject, then they will like you, and you will therefore become more popular.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t just ask people questions to make them like you. You should work on genuinely caring about getting to know people.\\n2-3. Avoid bragging.\\nPeople who are truly cool and popular don’t need to brag about themselves because they’re already happy and confident in who they are and know that other people can tell without them having to say so. You can talk about the things you love to do without mentioning how great you are at French, skiing, or winning debates. There’s nothing people hate more than a show-off, and talking about how great you are will only make people think the opposite. Besides, self-promotion is not cool. Modesty is.\\nIf you’re really good at something, then other people will find out, whether they see it for themselves, hear it from your friends, or read about the goal you kicked in the school paper. Trust that your successes will come through and that you don’t need to broadcast them.\\nInstead of talking about how good you are at something, take the time to compliment other people, whether they are on your debate team or your football team.\\n2-4. Let other people do the talking.\\nIf you want to be cool and popular, you should be outgoing and fun to talk to, but you also shouldn’t completely dominate conversations. The truth is, people care a lot more if you’re interested in them than if you’re interesting, so you should focus more on making them feel like interesting people and letting them talk instead of rambling on and on as an attempt to look cool. Of course, you shouldn’t speak in one-word sentences, either, but you should make sure that other people feel comfortable talking to you if you want them to like you and to think you’re cool.\\nWhenever you’re having a conversation with someone, try not to do more than 50% of the talking. Nobody likes to stand there and hear a person go on and on.\\nIf you’re in a group setting, try not to dominate the conversation. Let at least three people speak before you tell another story or make another long comment. Though you shouldn’t monitor yourself every second of the conversation, you should be aware of not taking over.\\n2-5. Find common bonds with people.\\nAnother way to be cool and popular is to actually connect with people by finding common bonds. You don’t have to have everything in common, but you should find a way to talk about things you and the person you’re talking to cares about, from your love for Drake to your mutual affection for the Oakland A’s. When you come up to talk to a person you know, try to think of something you both care about, from a teacher you like to poke fun at to an after-school activity you do together. If you focus on these points of interest, people will feel like they have more to say to you.\\nGet to know your audience when you talk to people. The brainy girl from your English class may want to talk to you about books or films, while the sporty guy on your baseball team may want to talk about the Mets game instead.\\nLearn to read body language. If the person you’re talking to is shifting on his feet, checking his phone, or responding in one-word answers, then he or she may want to change the topic to something that you both care about.\\n2-6. Take the time to really listen to people.\\nIt’s one thing to be a socialite who knows everyone by name, and another to actually get to know people. While it’s great to know a lot of people and to be friendly to them, it’s also nice to actually take the time to know what goes on inside their heads. Though you can’t get to know everyone, take the time to really listen to people when they do talk to you, whether they’re telling you about their weekend plans, their worries about their grades, or about what they’re wearing to the school dance. People who are cool and popular actually care about people, and stand out because they can make anyone feel special.\\nWhen someone is trying to tell you something, nothing else should matter. Put away your phone, stop looking around, and look into their eyes as they tell you what they have to say.\\nAvoid interrupting or giving your opinion until the person is done talking.\\nFocus on listening to the person on his or her own terms, instead of comparing the situation or experiences to something that happened to you. If you find yourself saying, “That sounds just like my break up…” then you’re not really listening.\\n2-7. Don’t put people down to look good.\\nIf you really want to be cool and popular, then you shouldn’t have to put people down just to make yourself look awesome. In fact, being mean to people, especially people who don’t have a lot of friends and who are looked down upon, is one of the lowest, most pathetic things you can do. If you want people to truly respect you and to feel like you’re a kind person, then you can’t go around demeaning people. It won’t make you look good or cool at all, but like a person who is so insecure that he needs to bring other people down to feel better. That is decidedly not cool.\\nIf you hang out with people who regularly put other people down, then it may be time to find some new friends. First, though, talk to your friends to see if they are willing to change the behavior.\\n3. Getting Involved\\n3-1. Join a sports team.\\nOne way to be cool and popular is to join a sports team, if you are so inclined. Of course, if you have two left feet and completely hate sports, then there’s no need to torture yourself. But if you’re interested in sports or have been pretty good at baseball, soccer, or tennis in the past, then joining a sports team can help you make new connections, gain leadership abilities, and work well with others. All of these skills will help you become more cool and popular.\\nJoining a sports team will also let you meet a lot of cool people who you might not get to meet in your classes. It’ll help you expand your social network, and people who are truly cool and popular have a wide social circle.\\n3-2. Join a club.\\nAnother way to expand your social network and to be cool and popular is to meet people through clubs. You can join the Student Council, the school paper, the school yearbook, or a variety of other clubs that let you explore your interests. You’ll get to meet a variety of new people and will be able to bond over a shared interest. Talking about something you actually love? Now that’s definitely cool.\\nYou may also meet a different type of person in some of your clubs than you would while being part of a sports team. Being friends with a variety of people helps you learn how to talk to almost anyone and can help you become more well-known.\\nJust being part of the club is not going to make you popular. It is important to really enjoy the activity, express yourself in a positive way, and share your excitement with other people who like it.\\n3-3. Get involved in your community.\\nYou may not think there’s anything cool about getting involved in a tutoring program at your local library or volunteering at a soup kitchen every other Sunday. However, being active in your community, whether you’re campaigning for a local politician whose cause you believe in or you’re cleaning up a local park, will help you get to know a variety of people of a variety of different ages. You’ll be building your character while learning to interact with a wider swath of people — and that is definitely cool.\\nIf you’re involved in your community, you may even gain experience talking to older people, which is a valuable skill that can help you become more mature and knowledgeable. These people may have a thing or two to teach you about what it really means to be cool.\\n3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.\\nIf you want to be cool and popular, then you should try to expand your area of interests. While it’s great to be the football captain, you would be exposing yourself to a lot of similarly-minded people if you follow that route. If you really want to be cool and popular, then you can join the football team, but also make time for yearbook or volunteering. Of course, you don’t want to put too much on your plate, but you also don’t want to spend your life only associating with one type of person, either.\\nMaintaining a variety of interests can help you meet a number of interesting people. Once you befriend them, you should also work on expanding your social circle and hanging out with those people at non-club or sports related activities.\\nJoining a club, a sports team, or a community network can also help you find your talents and develop them. Having a talent is very cool indeed.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being cool and popular doesn't mean walking down the halls with your nose turned up and having everyone cast admiring glances in your direction. It means being friendly, chatting with everyone around, and making the people you know feel good about themselves. True coolness and popularity come from being happy with who you are and wanting to spread that fun and joy to others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Attention\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t let other people tell you who you are.\", \"描述\": \"It’s not very cool to dress or act a certain way just to make other people happy or to make them think you’re cool. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. Don’t wear preppy polos or strappy sandals or whatever everyone else is wearing just because someone made fun of your unique style; don’t act chill or disaffected just because someone accused you of being “hyper.” If you have your own thing going for you, then it’s cool to stick to it, and let the haters hate.\\nThough “stop caring about what people think” may sound impossible, you can definitely do it if you make a point of casting aside the comments that were made about you and going on about your day. People who have nothing but negativity to spread aren’t worth your time.\\nIf people are spreading rumors about you or just saying bad things about you, don’t fight back by starting rumors of your own. Instead, take the high road and ignore these haters, showing that you’ve got better things to do with your time than to care about what they’re saying about you. That is definitely cool.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let people see you having a great time.\", \"描述\": \"One important characteristic of a cool and popular person is that he or she generally has a great time no matter where he or she goes. Though you don’t need to laugh like a maniac in the middle of an organic chemistry test, you should make an effort to have a good time no matter what you’re doing. Whether you’re waiting in the cafeteria line, chatting with your friends at your locker, or working in a group activity in school, you should give off a positive energy and act like you’re enjoying yourself. People will be attracted to your optimistic nature and will want to spend time around you.\\nTo make this easier, you should try to spend as much of your time doing the things you love as you can. Of course no one will see you having a great time if you’re stuck in detention or are on your way to band practice when you can’t stand it.\\nWork on developing a positive energy that makes you see the bright side of things, and makes you quick to laugh instead of worry.\\nFocus on being in the present moment instead of being concerned about how you come off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something you love.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to get people to notice you is to do the things you love. This can mean taking dance lessons, singing with your friends, sketching, or even making your own clothes. It doesn’t matter what you do; what does matter is that you’re passionate about it. That passion will attract people and will make them think you’re a person who is interesting and worth knowing. Doing something you love will also lead you to get to know more people who share your passion.\\nYou can also get noticed by teaching people to master the thing you’re good at. You can offer to give people drawing lessons, tennis tips, or even tell people how to be the best at tetherball. If you’re willing to teach other people and help them improve, then you will definitely come off as cool.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wow people with your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"People who are truly cool and popular have an understated confidence in who they are and what they’re about. If you’re cool and popular, then you don’t have to brag or show off, but you should project a positive energy and a happiness when you talk about who you are and what plans you have for your future. Stand up tall, smile, and speak with authority, acting like you’re not trying to put on a front or like you’re down on yourself. Showing how confident you are can go a long way in making you truly cool and popular.\\nTalk about something you’re looking forward to over the weekend or an awesome show or movie that you saw. Make it clear that you’re happy with what you’ve been doing and that you want to share your ideas with people. Now that’s confidence.\\nCompliment other people as often as you can while being genuine. People who are confident aren’t jealous and see the good in people and are happy to point it out.\\nIntroduce yourself to someone you don’t know and strike up a conversation with that person. Now that takes confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Rock your own style.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no one way to dress if you want to be cool and popular. Of course, there are some stores where “cool” people may like to shop, such as Urban Outfitters or Abercrombie, but that doesn’t mean that going there will make you cool and popular. It’s far more important for you to wear something that fits well, looks clean, and shows off your individuality than to give in to a certain style of fashion. If you like graphic tees, Converse, or dangling earrings, just own the look instead of questioning it or asking other people what they think about it.\\nDon’t worry about having a perfectly-matching, immaculately-coordinated look. Wearing clothes that are offbeat or unique can be much more interesting if you can pull it off.\\nThe most important thing is that your clothes fit you well. Wearing clothes that are too baggy can make you look sloppy and wearing clothes that are too tight can make you look more provocative than you intended.\\nJust remember to shower and groom yourself daily. It will be hard to pull off any look if you look sloppy or haven’t showered in a few days.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t be too cool for school.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that it’s cool to act like you’re too good for school or like you have better places to be, but in fact, acting like you’re “too cool for school” will just make you look like someone who is kind of boring, or who doesn’t have anything he’s passionate about. While you don’t have to suck up to your teachers or go on and on about how much you love gym class, you should act like you’re actually alert and happy to be where you are, so that people want to be around you. Complaining, sleeping in class, or just talking about how you have better things to do won’t really win anyone over.\\nIt’s actually much more cool to care about the parts of school that you really love, and to make a name for yourself in them, whether you’re a history buff or president of the Student Council. If you don’t care about anything except cutting class, people won’t know who you are.\\nBeing a good students in the classroom, helping others with their homework, and taking the initiative to ask questions can actually make you more popular. When everybody has an issue with the same topic but feels intimidated to ask the teacher for help, be the one who asks! People will see that you can speak up for what you need, and that you are brave—and that means a cool person to hang out with.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be friendly to everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Cool and popular people aren’t actually mean to everyone except the other people they determine to be “cool.” Instead, they make a point of talking to everyone around because they’re friendly, outgoing, and like to get to know people. Besides, your life won’t be very fun or engaging if you’re determined to ignore almost every person you know because you deem them to be not cool enough for you. Instead, make a point of saying hi, striking up a conversation, or just generally being kind to everyone around you unless they give you a reason to act otherwise.\\nThe definition of popular is “well-liked.” If you want to be well-liked, then you need to know a lot of different people so that they can like you. If you only talk to 10 people, then, while they may like you fine, you wouldn’t be well-liked by all.\\nDon’t overdo, however, because it may come across as strange and even fake. Do kind, courteous things to show that you are human and recognize your impact on others, but don’t try to be overly nice, and remember that some things are reserved for you genuine friends only.\\nIf you put people down or are just mean to people who you think are unworthy, then you’ll come off as insecure.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Social\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to talk to new people.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that people who are cool and popular only tend to talk to the other five cool and popular people in their grade, but that’s far from the truth. In fact, people who are actually cool and popular are comfortable talking to people they don’t know because they’re confident in who they are and are always looking for ways to make their life even more fun and exciting. Whether there’s a new girl in town or you want to get to know a guy in your math class, making the effort to talk to new people will go a long way in making you cool and popular.\\nJust say hi and introduce yourself when the time is right. Most people will be happy to talk to someone new, especially if they don’t know anybody.\\nIf a new person seems shy or quiet, don’t mistake this as rudeness. It can take longer for some people to open up than others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask people about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be cool and popular is to show a genuine interest in people. You can do this by asking them simple questions like what their favorite classes are or what their plans are for the summer. Demonstrate a real interest in getting to know them, their interests, and their everyday thoughts and they will be impressed by how caring and kind you are. Though you shouldn’t interview people and not reveal anything about yourself, you should work to maintain a balance between getting to know people and talking about yourself.\\nThe fact of the matter is, most people love to talk about themselves, even if they need to be prodded a little. If you get them talking about their favorite subject, then they will like you, and you will therefore become more popular.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t just ask people questions to make them like you. You should work on genuinely caring about getting to know people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid bragging.\", \"描述\": \"People who are truly cool and popular don’t need to brag about themselves because they’re already happy and confident in who they are and know that other people can tell without them having to say so. You can talk about the things you love to do without mentioning how great you are at French, skiing, or winning debates. There’s nothing people hate more than a show-off, and talking about how great you are will only make people think the opposite. Besides, self-promotion is not cool. Modesty is.\\nIf you’re really good at something, then other people will find out, whether they see it for themselves, hear it from your friends, or read about the goal you kicked in the school paper. Trust that your successes will come through and that you don’t need to broadcast them.\\nInstead of talking about how good you are at something, take the time to compliment other people, whether they are on your debate team or your football team.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let other people do the talking.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be cool and popular, you should be outgoing and fun to talk to, but you also shouldn’t completely dominate conversations. The truth is, people care a lot more if you’re interested in them than if you’re interesting, so you should focus more on making them feel like interesting people and letting them talk instead of rambling on and on as an attempt to look cool. Of course, you shouldn’t speak in one-word sentences, either, but you should make sure that other people feel comfortable talking to you if you want them to like you and to think you’re cool.\\nWhenever you’re having a conversation with someone, try not to do more than 50% of the talking. Nobody likes to stand there and hear a person go on and on.\\nIf you’re in a group setting, try not to dominate the conversation. Let at least three people speak before you tell another story or make another long comment. Though you shouldn’t monitor yourself every second of the conversation, you should be aware of not taking over.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find common bonds with people.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be cool and popular is to actually connect with people by finding common bonds. You don’t have to have everything in common, but you should find a way to talk about things you and the person you’re talking to cares about, from your love for Drake to your mutual affection for the Oakland A’s. When you come up to talk to a person you know, try to think of something you both care about, from a teacher you like to poke fun at to an after-school activity you do together. If you focus on these points of interest, people will feel like they have more to say to you.\\nGet to know your audience when you talk to people. The brainy girl from your English class may want to talk to you about books or films, while the sporty guy on your baseball team may want to talk about the Mets game instead.\\nLearn to read body language. If the person you’re talking to is shifting on his feet, checking his phone, or responding in one-word answers, then he or she may want to change the topic to something that you both care about.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take the time to really listen to people.\", \"描述\": \"It’s one thing to be a socialite who knows everyone by name, and another to actually get to know people. While it’s great to know a lot of people and to be friendly to them, it’s also nice to actually take the time to know what goes on inside their heads. Though you can’t get to know everyone, take the time to really listen to people when they do talk to you, whether they’re telling you about their weekend plans, their worries about their grades, or about what they’re wearing to the school dance. People who are cool and popular actually care about people, and stand out because they can make anyone feel special.\\nWhen someone is trying to tell you something, nothing else should matter. Put away your phone, stop looking around, and look into their eyes as they tell you what they have to say.\\nAvoid interrupting or giving your opinion until the person is done talking.\\nFocus on listening to the person on his or her own terms, instead of comparing the situation or experiences to something that happened to you. If you find yourself saying, “That sounds just like my break up…” then you’re not really listening.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t put people down to look good.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be cool and popular, then you shouldn’t have to put people down just to make yourself look awesome. In fact, being mean to people, especially people who don’t have a lot of friends and who are looked down upon, is one of the lowest, most pathetic things you can do. If you want people to truly respect you and to feel like you’re a kind person, then you can’t go around demeaning people. It won’t make you look good or cool at all, but like a person who is so insecure that he needs to bring other people down to feel better. That is decidedly not cool.\\nIf you hang out with people who regularly put other people down, then it may be time to find some new friends. First, though, talk to your friends to see if they are willing to change the behavior.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join a sports team.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be cool and popular is to join a sports team, if you are so inclined. Of course, if you have two left feet and completely hate sports, then there’s no need to torture yourself. But if you’re interested in sports or have been pretty good at baseball, soccer, or tennis in the past, then joining a sports team can help you make new connections, gain leadership abilities, and work well with others. All of these skills will help you become more cool and popular.\\nJoining a sports team will also let you meet a lot of cool people who you might not get to meet in your classes. It’ll help you expand your social network, and people who are truly cool and popular have a wide social circle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a club.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to expand your social network and to be cool and popular is to meet people through clubs. You can join the Student Council, the school paper, the school yearbook, or a variety of other clubs that let you explore your interests. You’ll get to meet a variety of new people and will be able to bond over a shared interest. Talking about something you actually love? Now that’s definitely cool.\\nYou may also meet a different type of person in some of your clubs than you would while being part of a sports team. Being friends with a variety of people helps you learn how to talk to almost anyone and can help you become more well-known.\\nJust being part of the club is not going to make you popular. It is important to really enjoy the activity, express yourself in a positive way, and share your excitement with other people who like it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get involved in your community.\", \"描述\": \"You may not think there’s anything cool about getting involved in a tutoring program at your local library or volunteering at a soup kitchen every other Sunday. However, being active in your community, whether you’re campaigning for a local politician whose cause you believe in or you’re cleaning up a local park, will help you get to know a variety of people of a variety of different ages. You’ll be building your character while learning to interact with a wider swath of people — and that is definitely cool.\\nIf you’re involved in your community, you may even gain experience talking to older people, which is a valuable skill that can help you become more mature and knowledgeable. These people may have a thing or two to teach you about what it really means to be cool.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a variety of interests.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be cool and popular, then you should try to expand your area of interests. While it’s great to be the football captain, you would be exposing yourself to a lot of similarly-minded people if you follow that route. If you really want to be cool and popular, then you can join the football team, but also make time for yearbook or volunteering. Of course, you don’t want to put too much on your plate, but you also don’t want to spend your life only associating with one type of person, either.\\nMaintaining a variety of interests can help you meet a number of interesting people. Once you befriend them, you should also work on expanding your social circle and hanging out with those people at non-club or sports related activities.\\nJoining a club, a sports team, or a community network can also help you find your talents and develop them. Having a talent is very cool indeed.\"}]}]}}",
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3,652 | How to Be Cool and Popular in Sixth Grade | 1. Looking Cool and Popular
1-1. Get a wardrobe that looks great on you
Remember, clothes don't have to be brand-name to be cool and make you look good. Some great stores to try are Aeropostale, Roxy, Old Navy, Forever 21, Hollister, AGACI, Rue 21, American Eagle, River Island, Target, Walmart, Brandy Melville and more. Remember to get clothes appropriate for your age. Don't copy anybody's fashion style because then people will think you're a wannabe or a poser. Here are some things to keep in mind as you find the perfect clothes for you. If your school has uniforms don't worry, just remember to accessorize.
It's okay if you mix clothes together and make things trendy in a unique, 'you'-kind-of-way to show off your own style while using just the tiniest bit of copying from someone else, like layering jewelry.
Mom jeans are in style. But remember,baggy jeans look great on some people, but not everyone. Boys shouldn’t avoid baggy jeans unless they want to go for that particular look.
Distressed jeans are in and you can make your own! Get help from an older sibling or cousin who can help you not rip the holes straight across, but blend them. Before cutting up your jeans, you can practice on fabric, experimenting with fraying and cutting. Learn how to "ladder" jeans.
Sweaters! Cardigans are in style, as are lightweight v-neck sweaters with a tank top for girls.
Polo shirts aren't nerdy if you wear them right, so it all depends on how you look and how you wear them! Try a simple polo with skinny jeans and shoes like Converse or similar.
A plain polo in a basic color is nice. If you want to get a polo, though, get some from Ralph Lauren or Lacoste. Ralph Lauren is known for their polo shirts. If you can't afford polo shirts from these stores, Abercrombie, Hollister, Ardene and Aeropostale always have good ones. Polo shirts may not look good on girls that have breasts, and are often form fitting, showing where the top of your jeans may have a muffin top.
Hoodies are essential according to some. They go with almost everything! Make sure the hoodie is a good fit, but baggy and loose can also look cute with skinnies. Girls can wear a sweater and skirt combo.
1-2. Accessorize.
Accessorizing is important, but don't overdo it. Long necklaces are cool. Earrings, studs, are good too. A big trend is mock Ray-ban 1 color sunglasses, which can be bought at Claire's or Icing. Wide brim hats and fedoras are always a good choice. If you go to a school that has uniforms, don't push the limit because you might get in trouble.
Get some new shoes. Some good choices are Heelys, Nike free-runs, Converse, Sperry's, Reeboks, and combat boots.
Boys can wear a watch that goes with their personality. It could either be a sports watch, a formal one, one with leather strap etc.
1-3. Keep your look natural
Girls, just use some lip balm or gloss, and some mascara, eye shadow (light ones work). Using thick eyeliner or foundation will make you look fake. A light amount on your skin can conceal zits or dark under eye circles. Some concealer has built in acne medicine. You can go natural sometimes, too. Make sure you ask your parents before starting to use makeup, if you want to try it.
1-4. Take good care of your skin.
Wash your face once in the morning and right when you are about to go to bed at night with a cleanser that's ideal for you.
If you end up with a pimple, do not squeeze it, because this can lead to a little dent in your skin called a pockmark that lasts years after the pimple is gone. There is a special tool for removing pimples and blackheads with a loop on the end.
Before doing this, or even washing your face you can fill the sink with warm water, put a towel over your head, and lean over the sink. The steam will open your pores, helping acne wash penetrate.
Try putting liquid cover-up on, and after it dries put some powder cover-up on. Washing your face more than twice a day will dry out your skin, making it scaly and flaky, and will cause more acne and then you'll have a bigger problem.
1-5. Consider getting a manicure.
Giving yourself a manicure works as well. You can go to Target and get $2 nail polishes and inexpensive nail sticker sets. Beauty schools can have trained students do manicures for $5 instead of $20. Also, you can go on to YouTube and learn how to do any design on your own.
Again, if manicures aren't your thing, you do not have to go out and get them.
1-6. Be clean.
Brush your teeth twice a day, use mouthwash, and wash your hair as many times a week as it needs. Don't go crazy on the styling products. Look for a hair styling cream that comes in a tub, not a big squirt bottle if you are a boy. If you are a girl all you need is bobby pins, combs for your hair type, rubber bands, headbands, and a light hair spray. If you want a different hair type you can buy straightening or curling irons.
Greasy hair isn't exactly attractive, so be sure to wash it regularly!
Make sure that if you have braces you get clear bands! But with clear bands make sure you don't eat something that can stain them.
1-7. Get a stylish look
Try a hair cut that suits your face shape and personality. You can add a fun color streak in your hair. Side bangs are good too.
Layered hair is a classic style for longer hair just like straight hair. You curl your hair at home. Straightening can damage the scalp and hair, whether done permanently or with an iron. So, try to minimise the chemical and stick to more healthy options.
1-8. Have a stylish school bag.
Messenger bags come in all styles and colour, and it can be unisex too. Or you can go with a stronger structure, most backpacks offer. They are carried on the back so it doesn't hurt as much as a shoulder bag. They come with water bottle holders and outer pockets, a thing most messenger bags do not have. Kipling backpacks are in.
Tote bags are stylish for girls. But if you have a long way to walk, a backpack with a lot if books that goes on your back is the best choice. If you ride or walk to school you will need a backpack with two well-padded shoulders.
2. Acting Cool and Popular
2-1. Make other people feel important
This is key if you want to be cool and popular. If people think you think they're important, they will want to spend time hanging out with you. If you seem like you're only obsessed with yourself, then no one will want to be around you. Here are some things to do if you want to make other people feel special:
Listen to what people are saying, and respond to let them know you were paying attention.
Ask people lots of questions to show them that you care.
Make the conversation about other people, not just yourself. Don't just brag about yourself. Make sure to ask about them too.
2-2. Treat other people with respect.
Being popular doesn't mean acting like you're in Mean Girls -- sure, that can get you some attention, but that kind of act can get old, fast. Instead, you should try to be nice to people without being fake, so that they feel welcome around you. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Avoid gossiping whenever you can, or you'll have a reputation as a gossip and no one will trust you.
Don't compete with other girls at school. It'll make you look desperate. If another kid wants to compete with you in popularity, dating, or style, say "No. I don't need a contest to prove I am good."
Never be phony, or pretend to be friends with someone you don't like.
Be sympathetic and show empathy when someone narrates a painful experience.
Compliment someone on their hair, clothes, shoes, backpack, etc. when they look good or when you feel they need it to cheer up.
Be respectful to everyone, including teachers, your friends, and other kids.
Be cheerful, natural, and outgoing. Create a balance between work and entertainment.
2-3. Be nice to members of the opposite gender.
If you're a girl, don't show affection to a guy you like by being mean to other guys, or he'll become afraid and not want to ask you out. Also, do not play hard to get. It turns a boy off even though T.V. shows make it look like it turns him on.
You don't have to be nice to every person of the opposite gender but don't be mean to people you like because you think it's flirting, either.
If you're not ready to like people romantically or to try to date people, don't worry about it. You'll know when it's time, and there's no need to rush.
2-4. Don't be afraid to talk to new people.
When you feel alone and like you have no friends or maybe you do have friends but they're just not with you at the time, just say hello to someone. After a while of doing this and starting conversations with people, you'll have a lot of friends.
Try to talk to some popular people and maybe invite them to a party or just to hang out. Try not to look desperate to become popular while doing this.
Do not leave your old friends behind just to be popular.
Treat everyone equally and treat others the way you would want to be treated.
Try to make a lot of good, trustworthy friends.
Don't reveal too much about yourself. Keep people wondering.
2-5. Let people see you having a great time.
If you want to be cool and popular, then you can't look desperate, or like you're always trying to hang out with the cool kids or waiting for people to come up to you. If you act like the life of the party, people will think you are. Even if you're at the party and are talking to someone who you don't really like so much, if you try to make the most of the conversation, laugh, and look like you're having a great time, then people will think, there's a person who is always having an awesome time, and they'll want to come up to you, too.
This doesn't mean you should be completely fake. It just means you should be absorbed in what you're doing instead of always wanting to be doing something "cooler" or "better."
2-6. Build your confidence.
Being cool and popular isn't just about looking that way, but it's about feeling cool and popular too. To do this, you have to be confident in who you are and know that you have something to offer to the world. Work on loving the person who you are and embracing the life that you have instead of wanting to be someone different. This can take years, but you have to make an effort to truly love yourself instead of just having others love you.
Being confident doesn't mean thinking you're perfect. In fact, being aware of some of your flaws and the things that you can improve will make you an even more confident person.
Being confident also means having confident body language. You should keep your head high, look straight ahead, and have good posture so that you look comfortable with who you are.
2-7. Stop caring about what other people think
Truly popular people are so happy with who they are that they don't try to please other people. If someone makes fun of your clothes or something you do, don't change your outfit or stop doing it. Instead, embrace who you are and learn to shrug off the jealous haters. It's okay to ask for advice when you're lost, but you should avoid doing what other people say just because you think it'll make you cooler.
If you're popular, then you'll be able to set the trends, not try to follow them.
Of course, it's impossible to stop caring about what people think overnight. But you have to make an effort to be your own person to get started.
3. Getting Involved
3-1. Accept others.
Just like you, other students may have doubts and issues too. All they need is to be accepted. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you truly want to be cool and popular, don't be mean to others. Being popular is about others liking and looking up to you.
If someone wants to be your friend, don't push them away or avoid them. Instead, try to be friendly, and see if they're a good friend to you. And if they're not, then get busy with your work or tell them, so they know they hurt you.
Don't ditch your BFF just because some "popular" kids think your friend isn't cool. In the right time, try to show them how caring they really are.
3-2. Be active in the classroom.
You don't have to be the teacher's pet or the most involved student to get noticed a bit. Be friendly, participate, and don't be a complete class clown. If you're silent in class or only talk to the one person you know, then you won't get noticed. You want people to see you and think, at least, "Oh yeah, that girl is in my English class..." You have to make some kind of an impression if you want to be popular.
If you have a lab partner or do group work, be friendly and nice to the people, even if you don't think you have much in common.
You don't have to raise your hand every two seconds to make other students notice you. Just participate when you have something new or helpful to say. Give others a chance too.
If you have a test coming up, see if you want to form a study group with a few people. That can be an excuse for you to socialize a bit more.
3-3. Try out for a team.
Joining a team sport is a great way to meet new people and to put yourself out there. If your school has team sports, great. If not, joining a rec team can help you get to know even more people. Being part of a team can also help you know how to work with others and will get you more comfortable with a variety of people.
You don't have to be the most athletic person in the world to join a sports team, either. You just have to have some drive and the desire to learn something new.
3-4. Join a club.
Clubs are another great way to meet more people and to try something new, especially if joining a sports team isn't for you. If your school has clubs, like the newspaper or yearbook, joining one would be a great way to meet a variety of people interested in different things. The more people you know, the more popular you will be. It's all about getting to know as many different people as possible, not just sticking to the same six "cool" people in your school.
If you join a club, remember that it's the fact you enjoy the club's activities that will attract other people to you, not the fact you have joined the club. Show enthusiasm and share your passion with others so they get enthused by your enjoyment and want to be around you.
Joining a club can also help you find something new that interests you, which will boost your confidence and make you feel like a more dynamic person.
3-5. Get involved in your neighborhood.
Hang out with the kids in your neighborhood, help out your neighbors, and spend time hanging out outside instead of spending hours trying to improve your image on Facebook. So what if the kids in your neighborhood are a little older or younger than you or they go to a different school? Hanging out with as many different people as possible will make you a more open person and will make you look and feel more popular.
If there are older kids in your neighborhood, then they can help you build your reputation, too -- being popular in the sixth grade doesn't mean only talking to sixth graders.
Try to share what you learn, when it could help them. As you learn, you will find others having a hard time dealing with something you could help. Be open to help and don't expect immediate popularity. Sometimes, you have to just do whatever you could for others and treasure the memories.
3-6. Be more social.
To be popular, you have to get involved in more social activities. Accept invitations to parties even if you won't know many people there and get to know them. Throw parties of your own and have a pretty wide variety of people in your guest list. Go to the mall and movies with your friends on weekends instead of hanging out at home. And if events like school dances or other after-school events come up, make a point of being there.
The more people get used to seeing you out, the more you'll become a part of the scene. You don't have to be the most popular person at the dance or at the mall to get to know more people and to have a great time.
Tips
Find a group of good friends to get a good reputation. Don't end up hanging out with the group that is always in trouble and talks about inappropriate things.
Hang out with lots of different groups and always invite a variety people in your group. It shows you are open, and accepting of others. However, make sure that you are hanging out with the right friends. Say no to alcohol, drugs, sex, gangs, crime, and anything else you feel uncomfortable with.
Make a friend group! Introduce some of your friends to other of your friends. If they become friends you will have a friend group you can trust.
Warnings
Stay away from drugs at all costs. If the popular kids are doing it, stay away from them. and report them.
Middle school is a time when cliques start to emerge. Even though they shouldn't, people will judge you according to your appearance. Just ignore them. They're not worth your time.
When you go to report bad things you have witnessed or heard, it is best to do it anonymously so you don’t get hurt verbally or physically.
If the "cool kids" are mean and ditching you, they're not worth your time. Being yourself is the best way to become popular.
Don't be pressured into doing anything you truly do not want to do.
Boyfriends are unnecessary, you can survive 6th grade without one. It's normal to have a crush in 6th grade but don't get overwhelmed with it. Do not kiss!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Cool and Popular\\n1-1. Get a wardrobe that looks great on you\\nRemember, clothes don't have to be brand-name to be cool and make you look good. Some great stores to try are Aeropostale, Roxy, Old Navy, Forever 21, Hollister, AGACI, Rue 21, American Eagle, River Island, Target, Walmart, Brandy Melville and more. Remember to get clothes appropriate for your age. Don't copy anybody's fashion style because then people will think you're a wannabe or a poser. Here are some things to keep in mind as you find the perfect clothes for you. If your school has uniforms don't worry, just remember to accessorize.\\nIt's okay if you mix clothes together and make things trendy in a unique, 'you'-kind-of-way to show off your own style while using just the tiniest bit of copying from someone else, like layering jewelry.\\nMom jeans are in style. But remember,baggy jeans look great on some people, but not everyone. Boys shouldn’t avoid baggy jeans unless they want to go for that particular look.\\nDistressed jeans are in and you can make your own! Get help from an older sibling or cousin who can help you not rip the holes straight across, but blend them. Before cutting up your jeans, you can practice on fabric, experimenting with fraying and cutting. Learn how to \\\"ladder\\\" jeans.\\nSweaters! Cardigans are in style, as are lightweight v-neck sweaters with a tank top for girls.\\nPolo shirts aren't nerdy if you wear them right, so it all depends on how you look and how you wear them! Try a simple polo with skinny jeans and shoes like Converse or similar.\\nA plain polo in a basic color is nice. If you want to get a polo, though, get some from Ralph Lauren or Lacoste. Ralph Lauren is known for their polo shirts. If you can't afford polo shirts from these stores, Abercrombie, Hollister, Ardene and Aeropostale always have good ones. Polo shirts may not look good on girls that have breasts, and are often form fitting, showing where the top of your jeans may have a muffin top.\\nHoodies are essential according to some. They go with almost everything! Make sure the hoodie is a good fit, but baggy and loose can also look cute with skinnies. Girls can wear a sweater and skirt combo.\\n1-2. Accessorize.\\nAccessorizing is important, but don't overdo it. Long necklaces are cool. Earrings, studs, are good too. A big trend is mock Ray-ban 1 color sunglasses, which can be bought at Claire's or Icing. Wide brim hats and fedoras are always a good choice. If you go to a school that has uniforms, don't push the limit because you might get in trouble.\\nGet some new shoes. Some good choices are Heelys, Nike free-runs, Converse, Sperry's, Reeboks, and combat boots.\\nBoys can wear a watch that goes with their personality. It could either be a sports watch, a formal one, one with leather strap etc.\\n1-3. Keep your look natural\\nGirls, just use some lip balm or gloss, and some mascara, eye shadow (light ones work). Using thick eyeliner or foundation will make you look fake. A light amount on your skin can conceal zits or dark under eye circles. Some concealer has built in acne medicine. You can go natural sometimes, too. Make sure you ask your parents before starting to use makeup, if you want to try it.\\n1-4. Take good care of your skin.\\nWash your face once in the morning and right when you are about to go to bed at night with a cleanser that's ideal for you.\\nIf you end up with a pimple, do not squeeze it, because this can lead to a little dent in your skin called a pockmark that lasts years after the pimple is gone. There is a special tool for removing pimples and blackheads with a loop on the end.\\nBefore doing this, or even washing your face you can fill the sink with warm water, put a towel over your head, and lean over the sink. The steam will open your pores, helping acne wash penetrate.\\nTry putting liquid cover-up on, and after it dries put some powder cover-up on. Washing your face more than twice a day will dry out your skin, making it scaly and flaky, and will cause more acne and then you'll have a bigger problem.\\n1-5. Consider getting a manicure.\\nGiving yourself a manicure works as well. You can go to Target and get $2 nail polishes and inexpensive nail sticker sets. Beauty schools can have trained students do manicures for $5 instead of $20. Also, you can go on to YouTube and learn how to do any design on your own.\\nAgain, if manicures aren't your thing, you do not have to go out and get them.\\n1-6. Be clean.\\nBrush your teeth twice a day, use mouthwash, and wash your hair as many times a week as it needs. Don't go crazy on the styling products. Look for a hair styling cream that comes in a tub, not a big squirt bottle if you are a boy. If you are a girl all you need is bobby pins, combs for your hair type, rubber bands, headbands, and a light hair spray. If you want a different hair type you can buy straightening or curling irons.\\nGreasy hair isn't exactly attractive, so be sure to wash it regularly!\\nMake sure that if you have braces you get clear bands! But with clear bands make sure you don't eat something that can stain them.\\n1-7. Get a stylish look\\nTry a hair cut that suits your face shape and personality. You can add a fun color streak in your hair. Side bangs are good too.\\nLayered hair is a classic style for longer hair just like straight hair. You curl your hair at home. Straightening can damage the scalp and hair, whether done permanently or with an iron. So, try to minimise the chemical and stick to more healthy options.\\n1-8. Have a stylish school bag.\\nMessenger bags come in all styles and colour, and it can be unisex too. Or you can go with a stronger structure, most backpacks offer. They are carried on the back so it doesn't hurt as much as a shoulder bag. They come with water bottle holders and outer pockets, a thing most messenger bags do not have. Kipling backpacks are in.\\nTote bags are stylish for girls. But if you have a long way to walk, a backpack with a lot if books that goes on your back is the best choice. If you ride or walk to school you will need a backpack with two well-padded shoulders.\\n2. Acting Cool and Popular\\n2-1. Make other people feel important\\nThis is key if you want to be cool and popular. If people think you think they're important, they will want to spend time hanging out with you. If you seem like you're only obsessed with yourself, then no one will want to be around you. Here are some things to do if you want to make other people feel special:\\n\\nListen to what people are saying, and respond to let them know you were paying attention.\\nAsk people lots of questions to show them that you care.\\nMake the conversation about other people, not just yourself. Don't just brag about yourself. Make sure to ask about them too.\\n2-2. Treat other people with respect.\\nBeing popular doesn't mean acting like you're in Mean Girls -- sure, that can get you some attention, but that kind of act can get old, fast. Instead, you should try to be nice to people without being fake, so that they feel welcome around you. Here are some things to keep in mind:\\n\\nAvoid gossiping whenever you can, or you'll have a reputation as a gossip and no one will trust you.\\nDon't compete with other girls at school. It'll make you look desperate. If another kid wants to compete with you in popularity, dating, or style, say \\\"No. I don't need a contest to prove I am good.\\\"\\nNever be phony, or pretend to be friends with someone you don't like.\\nBe sympathetic and show empathy when someone narrates a painful experience.\\nCompliment someone on their hair, clothes, shoes, backpack, etc. when they look good or when you feel they need it to cheer up.\\nBe respectful to everyone, including teachers, your friends, and other kids.\\nBe cheerful, natural, and outgoing. Create a balance between work and entertainment.\\n2-3. Be nice to members of the opposite gender.\\nIf you're a girl, don't show affection to a guy you like by being mean to other guys, or he'll become afraid and not want to ask you out. Also, do not play hard to get. It turns a boy off even though T.V. shows make it look like it turns him on.\\nYou don't have to be nice to every person of the opposite gender but don't be mean to people you like because you think it's flirting, either.\\nIf you're not ready to like people romantically or to try to date people, don't worry about it. You'll know when it's time, and there's no need to rush.\\n2-4. Don't be afraid to talk to new people.\\nWhen you feel alone and like you have no friends or maybe you do have friends but they're just not with you at the time, just say hello to someone. After a while of doing this and starting conversations with people, you'll have a lot of friends.\\nTry to talk to some popular people and maybe invite them to a party or just to hang out. Try not to look desperate to become popular while doing this.\\nDo not leave your old friends behind just to be popular.\\nTreat everyone equally and treat others the way you would want to be treated.\\nTry to make a lot of good, trustworthy friends.\\nDon't reveal too much about yourself. Keep people wondering.\\n2-5. Let people see you having a great time.\\nIf you want to be cool and popular, then you can't look desperate, or like you're always trying to hang out with the cool kids or waiting for people to come up to you. If you act like the life of the party, people will think you are. Even if you're at the party and are talking to someone who you don't really like so much, if you try to make the most of the conversation, laugh, and look like you're having a great time, then people will think, there's a person who is always having an awesome time, and they'll want to come up to you, too.\\nThis doesn't mean you should be completely fake. It just means you should be absorbed in what you're doing instead of always wanting to be doing something \\\"cooler\\\" or \\\"better.\\\"\\n2-6. Build your confidence.\\nBeing cool and popular isn't just about looking that way, but it's about feeling cool and popular too. To do this, you have to be confident in who you are and know that you have something to offer to the world. Work on loving the person who you are and embracing the life that you have instead of wanting to be someone different. This can take years, but you have to make an effort to truly love yourself instead of just having others love you.\\nBeing confident doesn't mean thinking you're perfect. In fact, being aware of some of your flaws and the things that you can improve will make you an even more confident person.\\nBeing confident also means having confident body language. You should keep your head high, look straight ahead, and have good posture so that you look comfortable with who you are.\\n2-7. Stop caring about what other people think\\nTruly popular people are so happy with who they are that they don't try to please other people. If someone makes fun of your clothes or something you do, don't change your outfit or stop doing it. Instead, embrace who you are and learn to shrug off the jealous haters. It's okay to ask for advice when you're lost, but you should avoid doing what other people say just because you think it'll make you cooler.\\nIf you're popular, then you'll be able to set the trends, not try to follow them.\\nOf course, it's impossible to stop caring about what people think overnight. But you have to make an effort to be your own person to get started.\\n3. Getting Involved\\n3-1. Accept others.\\nJust like you, other students may have doubts and issues too. All they need is to be accepted. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you truly want to be cool and popular, don't be mean to others. Being popular is about others liking and looking up to you.\\nIf someone wants to be your friend, don't push them away or avoid them. Instead, try to be friendly, and see if they're a good friend to you. And if they're not, then get busy with your work or tell them, so they know they hurt you.\\nDon't ditch your BFF just because some \\\"popular\\\" kids think your friend isn't cool. In the right time, try to show them how caring they really are.\\n3-2. Be active in the classroom.\\nYou don't have to be the teacher's pet or the most involved student to get noticed a bit. Be friendly, participate, and don't be a complete class clown. If you're silent in class or only talk to the one person you know, then you won't get noticed. You want people to see you and think, at least, \\\"Oh yeah, that girl is in my English class...\\\" You have to make some kind of an impression if you want to be popular.\\nIf you have a lab partner or do group work, be friendly and nice to the people, even if you don't think you have much in common.\\nYou don't have to raise your hand every two seconds to make other students notice you. Just participate when you have something new or helpful to say. Give others a chance too.\\nIf you have a test coming up, see if you want to form a study group with a few people. That can be an excuse for you to socialize a bit more.\\n3-3. Try out for a team.\\nJoining a team sport is a great way to meet new people and to put yourself out there. If your school has team sports, great. If not, joining a rec team can help you get to know even more people. Being part of a team can also help you know how to work with others and will get you more comfortable with a variety of people.\\nYou don't have to be the most athletic person in the world to join a sports team, either. You just have to have some drive and the desire to learn something new.\\n3-4. Join a club.\\nClubs are another great way to meet more people and to try something new, especially if joining a sports team isn't for you. If your school has clubs, like the newspaper or yearbook, joining one would be a great way to meet a variety of people interested in different things. The more people you know, the more popular you will be. It's all about getting to know as many different people as possible, not just sticking to the same six \\\"cool\\\" people in your school.\\nIf you join a club, remember that it's the fact you enjoy the club's activities that will attract other people to you, not the fact you have joined the club. Show enthusiasm and share your passion with others so they get enthused by your enjoyment and want to be around you.\\nJoining a club can also help you find something new that interests you, which will boost your confidence and make you feel like a more dynamic person.\\n3-5. Get involved in your neighborhood.\\nHang out with the kids in your neighborhood, help out your neighbors, and spend time hanging out outside instead of spending hours trying to improve your image on Facebook. So what if the kids in your neighborhood are a little older or younger than you or they go to a different school? Hanging out with as many different people as possible will make you a more open person and will make you look and feel more popular.\\nIf there are older kids in your neighborhood, then they can help you build your reputation, too -- being popular in the sixth grade doesn't mean only talking to sixth graders.\\nTry to share what you learn, when it could help them. As you learn, you will find others having a hard time dealing with something you could help. Be open to help and don't expect immediate popularity. Sometimes, you have to just do whatever you could for others and treasure the memories.\\n3-6. Be more social.\\nTo be popular, you have to get involved in more social activities. Accept invitations to parties even if you won't know many people there and get to know them. Throw parties of your own and have a pretty wide variety of people in your guest list. Go to the mall and movies with your friends on weekends instead of hanging out at home. And if events like school dances or other after-school events come up, make a point of being there.\\nThe more people get used to seeing you out, the more you'll become a part of the scene. You don't have to be the most popular person at the dance or at the mall to get to know more people and to have a great time.\\nTips\\nFind a group of good friends to get a good reputation. Don't end up hanging out with the group that is always in trouble and talks about inappropriate things.\\nHang out with lots of different groups and always invite a variety people in your group. It shows you are open, and accepting of others. However, make sure that you are hanging out with the right friends. Say no to alcohol, drugs, sex, gangs, crime, and anything else you feel uncomfortable with.\\nMake a friend group! Introduce some of your friends to other of your friends. If they become friends you will have a friend group you can trust.\\nWarnings\\nStay away from drugs at all costs. If the popular kids are doing it, stay away from them. and report them.\\nMiddle school is a time when cliques start to emerge. Even though they shouldn't, people will judge you according to your appearance. Just ignore them. They're not worth your time.\\nWhen you go to report bad things you have witnessed or heard, it is best to do it anonymously so you don’t get hurt verbally or physically.\\nIf the \\\"cool kids\\\" are mean and ditching you, they're not worth your time. Being yourself is the best way to become popular.\\nDon't be pressured into doing anything you truly do not want to do.\\nBoyfriends are unnecessary, you can survive 6th grade without one. It's normal to have a crush in 6th grade but don't get overwhelmed with it. Do not kiss!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sixth grade can be a tricky time for everyone, whether you're at the top of the food chain in elementary school or the bottom of the social radar. If you want to be cool and popular, it's all about acting like you're already cool, boosting your confidence, and waiting for the world to catch on. Just follow these steps and you'll be on your way!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Cool and Popular\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a wardrobe that looks great on you\", \"描述\": \"Remember, clothes don't have to be brand-name to be cool and make you look good. Some great stores to try are Aeropostale, Roxy, Old Navy, Forever 21, Hollister, AGACI, Rue 21, American Eagle, River Island, Target, Walmart, Brandy Melville and more. Remember to get clothes appropriate for your age. Don't copy anybody's fashion style because then people will think you're a wannabe or a poser. Here are some things to keep in mind as you find the perfect clothes for you. If your school has uniforms don't worry, just remember to accessorize.\\nIt's okay if you mix clothes together and make things trendy in a unique, 'you'-kind-of-way to show off your own style while using just the tiniest bit of copying from someone else, like layering jewelry.\\nMom jeans are in style. But remember,baggy jeans look great on some people, but not everyone. Boys shouldn’t avoid baggy jeans unless they want to go for that particular look.\\nDistressed jeans are in and you can make your own! Get help from an older sibling or cousin who can help you not rip the holes straight across, but blend them. Before cutting up your jeans, you can practice on fabric, experimenting with fraying and cutting. Learn how to \\\"ladder\\\" jeans.\\nSweaters! Cardigans are in style, as are lightweight v-neck sweaters with a tank top for girls.\\nPolo shirts aren't nerdy if you wear them right, so it all depends on how you look and how you wear them! Try a simple polo with skinny jeans and shoes like Converse or similar.\\nA plain polo in a basic color is nice. If you want to get a polo, though, get some from Ralph Lauren or Lacoste. Ralph Lauren is known for their polo shirts. If you can't afford polo shirts from these stores, Abercrombie, Hollister, Ardene and Aeropostale always have good ones. Polo shirts may not look good on girls that have breasts, and are often form fitting, showing where the top of your jeans may have a muffin top.\\nHoodies are essential according to some. They go with almost everything! Make sure the hoodie is a good fit, but baggy and loose can also look cute with skinnies. Girls can wear a sweater and skirt combo.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accessorize.\", \"描述\": \"Accessorizing is important, but don't overdo it. Long necklaces are cool. Earrings, studs, are good too. A big trend is mock Ray-ban 1 color sunglasses, which can be bought at Claire's or Icing. Wide brim hats and fedoras are always a good choice. If you go to a school that has uniforms, don't push the limit because you might get in trouble.\\nGet some new shoes. Some good choices are Heelys, Nike free-runs, Converse, Sperry's, Reeboks, and combat boots.\\nBoys can wear a watch that goes with their personality. It could either be a sports watch, a formal one, one with leather strap etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your look natural\", \"描述\": \"Girls, just use some lip balm or gloss, and some mascara, eye shadow (light ones work). Using thick eyeliner or foundation will make you look fake. A light amount on your skin can conceal zits or dark under eye circles. Some concealer has built in acne medicine. You can go natural sometimes, too. Make sure you ask your parents before starting to use makeup, if you want to try it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take good care of your skin.\", \"描述\": \"Wash your face once in the morning and right when you are about to go to bed at night with a cleanser that's ideal for you.\\nIf you end up with a pimple, do not squeeze it, because this can lead to a little dent in your skin called a pockmark that lasts years after the pimple is gone. There is a special tool for removing pimples and blackheads with a loop on the end.\\nBefore doing this, or even washing your face you can fill the sink with warm water, put a towel over your head, and lean over the sink. The steam will open your pores, helping acne wash penetrate.\\nTry putting liquid cover-up on, and after it dries put some powder cover-up on. Washing your face more than twice a day will dry out your skin, making it scaly and flaky, and will cause more acne and then you'll have a bigger problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider getting a manicure.\", \"描述\": \"Giving yourself a manicure works as well. You can go to Target and get $2 nail polishes and inexpensive nail sticker sets. Beauty schools can have trained students do manicures for $5 instead of $20. Also, you can go on to YouTube and learn how to do any design on your own.\\nAgain, if manicures aren't your thing, you do not have to go out and get them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be clean.\", \"描述\": \"Brush your teeth twice a day, use mouthwash, and wash your hair as many times a week as it needs. Don't go crazy on the styling products. Look for a hair styling cream that comes in a tub, not a big squirt bottle if you are a boy. If you are a girl all you need is bobby pins, combs for your hair type, rubber bands, headbands, and a light hair spray. If you want a different hair type you can buy straightening or curling irons.\\nGreasy hair isn't exactly attractive, so be sure to wash it regularly!\\nMake sure that if you have braces you get clear bands! But with clear bands make sure you don't eat something that can stain them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get a stylish look\", \"描述\": \"Try a hair cut that suits your face shape and personality. You can add a fun color streak in your hair. Side bangs are good too.\\nLayered hair is a classic style for longer hair just like straight hair. You curl your hair at home. Straightening can damage the scalp and hair, whether done permanently or with an iron. So, try to minimise the chemical and stick to more healthy options.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have a stylish school bag.\", \"描述\": \"Messenger bags come in all styles and colour, and it can be unisex too. Or you can go with a stronger structure, most backpacks offer. They are carried on the back so it doesn't hurt as much as a shoulder bag. They come with water bottle holders and outer pockets, a thing most messenger bags do not have. Kipling backpacks are in.\\nTote bags are stylish for girls. But if you have a long way to walk, a backpack with a lot if books that goes on your back is the best choice. If you ride or walk to school you will need a backpack with two well-padded shoulders.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Cool and Popular\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make other people feel important\", \"描述\": \"This is key if you want to be cool and popular. If people think you think they're important, they will want to spend time hanging out with you. If you seem like you're only obsessed with yourself, then no one will want to be around you. Here are some things to do if you want to make other people feel special:\\n\\nListen to what people are saying, and respond to let them know you were paying attention.\\nAsk people lots of questions to show them that you care.\\nMake the conversation about other people, not just yourself. Don't just brag about yourself. Make sure to ask about them too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat other people with respect.\", \"描述\": \"Being popular doesn't mean acting like you're in Mean Girls -- sure, that can get you some attention, but that kind of act can get old, fast. Instead, you should try to be nice to people without being fake, so that they feel welcome around you. Here are some things to keep in mind:\\n\\nAvoid gossiping whenever you can, or you'll have a reputation as a gossip and no one will trust you.\\nDon't compete with other girls at school. It'll make you look desperate. If another kid wants to compete with you in popularity, dating, or style, say \\\"No. I don't need a contest to prove I am good.\\\"\\nNever be phony, or pretend to be friends with someone you don't like.\\nBe sympathetic and show empathy when someone narrates a painful experience.\\nCompliment someone on their hair, clothes, shoes, backpack, etc. when they look good or when you feel they need it to cheer up.\\nBe respectful to everyone, including teachers, your friends, and other kids.\\nBe cheerful, natural, and outgoing. Create a balance between work and entertainment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be nice to members of the opposite gender.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a girl, don't show affection to a guy you like by being mean to other guys, or he'll become afraid and not want to ask you out. Also, do not play hard to get. It turns a boy off even though T.V. shows make it look like it turns him on.\\nYou don't have to be nice to every person of the opposite gender but don't be mean to people you like because you think it's flirting, either.\\nIf you're not ready to like people romantically or to try to date people, don't worry about it. You'll know when it's time, and there's no need to rush.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to talk to new people.\", \"描述\": \"When you feel alone and like you have no friends or maybe you do have friends but they're just not with you at the time, just say hello to someone. After a while of doing this and starting conversations with people, you'll have a lot of friends.\\nTry to talk to some popular people and maybe invite them to a party or just to hang out. Try not to look desperate to become popular while doing this.\\nDo not leave your old friends behind just to be popular.\\nTreat everyone equally and treat others the way you would want to be treated.\\nTry to make a lot of good, trustworthy friends.\\nDon't reveal too much about yourself. Keep people wondering.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let people see you having a great time.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be cool and popular, then you can't look desperate, or like you're always trying to hang out with the cool kids or waiting for people to come up to you. If you act like the life of the party, people will think you are. Even if you're at the party and are talking to someone who you don't really like so much, if you try to make the most of the conversation, laugh, and look like you're having a great time, then people will think, there's a person who is always having an awesome time, and they'll want to come up to you, too.\\nThis doesn't mean you should be completely fake. It just means you should be absorbed in what you're doing instead of always wanting to be doing something \\\"cooler\\\" or \\\"better.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Build your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool and popular isn't just about looking that way, but it's about feeling cool and popular too. To do this, you have to be confident in who you are and know that you have something to offer to the world. Work on loving the person who you are and embracing the life that you have instead of wanting to be someone different. This can take years, but you have to make an effort to truly love yourself instead of just having others love you.\\nBeing confident doesn't mean thinking you're perfect. In fact, being aware of some of your flaws and the things that you can improve will make you an even more confident person.\\nBeing confident also means having confident body language. You should keep your head high, look straight ahead, and have good posture so that you look comfortable with who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stop caring about what other people think\", \"描述\": \"Truly popular people are so happy with who they are that they don't try to please other people. If someone makes fun of your clothes or something you do, don't change your outfit or stop doing it. Instead, embrace who you are and learn to shrug off the jealous haters. It's okay to ask for advice when you're lost, but you should avoid doing what other people say just because you think it'll make you cooler.\\nIf you're popular, then you'll be able to set the trends, not try to follow them.\\nOf course, it's impossible to stop caring about what people think overnight. But you have to make an effort to be your own person to get started.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept others.\", \"描述\": \"Just like you, other students may have doubts and issues too. All they need is to be accepted. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you truly want to be cool and popular, don't be mean to others. Being popular is about others liking and looking up to you.\\nIf someone wants to be your friend, don't push them away or avoid them. Instead, try to be friendly, and see if they're a good friend to you. And if they're not, then get busy with your work or tell them, so they know they hurt you.\\nDon't ditch your BFF just because some \\\"popular\\\" kids think your friend isn't cool. In the right time, try to show them how caring they really are.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be active in the classroom.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to be the teacher's pet or the most involved student to get noticed a bit. Be friendly, participate, and don't be a complete class clown. If you're silent in class or only talk to the one person you know, then you won't get noticed. You want people to see you and think, at least, \\\"Oh yeah, that girl is in my English class...\\\" You have to make some kind of an impression if you want to be popular.\\nIf you have a lab partner or do group work, be friendly and nice to the people, even if you don't think you have much in common.\\nYou don't have to raise your hand every two seconds to make other students notice you. Just participate when you have something new or helpful to say. Give others a chance too.\\nIf you have a test coming up, see if you want to form a study group with a few people. That can be an excuse for you to socialize a bit more.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try out for a team.\", \"描述\": \"Joining a team sport is a great way to meet new people and to put yourself out there. If your school has team sports, great. If not, joining a rec team can help you get to know even more people. Being part of a team can also help you know how to work with others and will get you more comfortable with a variety of people.\\nYou don't have to be the most athletic person in the world to join a sports team, either. You just have to have some drive and the desire to learn something new.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join a club.\", \"描述\": \"Clubs are another great way to meet more people and to try something new, especially if joining a sports team isn't for you. If your school has clubs, like the newspaper or yearbook, joining one would be a great way to meet a variety of people interested in different things. The more people you know, the more popular you will be. It's all about getting to know as many different people as possible, not just sticking to the same six \\\"cool\\\" people in your school.\\nIf you join a club, remember that it's the fact you enjoy the club's activities that will attract other people to you, not the fact you have joined the club. Show enthusiasm and share your passion with others so they get enthused by your enjoyment and want to be around you.\\nJoining a club can also help you find something new that interests you, which will boost your confidence and make you feel like a more dynamic person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get involved in your neighborhood.\", \"描述\": \"Hang out with the kids in your neighborhood, help out your neighbors, and spend time hanging out outside instead of spending hours trying to improve your image on Facebook. So what if the kids in your neighborhood are a little older or younger than you or they go to a different school? Hanging out with as many different people as possible will make you a more open person and will make you look and feel more popular.\\nIf there are older kids in your neighborhood, then they can help you build your reputation, too -- being popular in the sixth grade doesn't mean only talking to sixth graders.\\nTry to share what you learn, when it could help them. As you learn, you will find others having a hard time dealing with something you could help. Be open to help and don't expect immediate popularity. Sometimes, you have to just do whatever you could for others and treasure the memories.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be more social.\", \"描述\": \"To be popular, you have to get involved in more social activities. Accept invitations to parties even if you won't know many people there and get to know them. Throw parties of your own and have a pretty wide variety of people in your guest list. Go to the mall and movies with your friends on weekends instead of hanging out at home. And if events like school dances or other after-school events come up, make a point of being there.\\nThe more people get used to seeing you out, the more you'll become a part of the scene. You don't have to be the most popular person at the dance or at the mall to get to know more people and to have a great time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Find a group of good friends to get a good reputation. Don't end up hanging out with the group that is always in trouble and talks about inappropriate things.\\n\", \"Hang out with lots of different groups and always invite a variety people in your group. It shows you are open, and accepting of others. However, make sure that you are hanging out with the right friends. Say no to alcohol, drugs, sex, gangs, crime, and anything else you feel uncomfortable with.\\n\", \"Make a friend group! Introduce some of your friends to other of your friends. If they become friends you will have a friend group you can trust.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Stay away from drugs at all costs. If the popular kids are doing it, stay away from them. and report them.\\n\", \"Middle school is a time when cliques start to emerge. Even though they shouldn't, people will judge you according to your appearance. Just ignore them. They're not worth your time.\\n\", \"When you go to report bad things you have witnessed or heard, it is best to do it anonymously so you don’t get hurt verbally or physically.\\n\", \"If the \\\"cool kids\\\" are mean and ditching you, they're not worth your time. Being yourself is the best way to become popular.\\n\", \"Don't be pressured into doing anything you truly do not want to do.\\n\", \"Boyfriends are unnecessary, you can survive 6th grade without one. It's normal to have a crush in 6th grade but don't get overwhelmed with it. Do not kiss!\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,653 | How to Be Cool at School | 1. Making Lots of Friends
1-1. Join a handful of organizations.
Being cool isn't just about being popular, it's about being known.The easiest way to get your name and face recognized is by joining groups at school. Try to join a few that don't overlap – that way you'll meet the most people and develop a wide variety of interests.
One idea is to join one of every kind of activity: one athletic, one academic, and one artistic. You could be on the basketball team, on the school newspaper, and in choir. It'll look good on your college resume, too.
1-2. Observe.
Try to identify who's where on the "social ladder." It's not that big of a deal (being cool is about being liked, which is different than being popular), but it will help you know how to identify with people. What are the cool kids like? Are they jocks, are they smart, are they rebels? How about the mid-crowd? Do they follow along or sort of do their own thing? And the lowest tier, what about them? With whom in which groups do you want to be friends with? It's a good idea to be friends with people on all rungs of the ladder – you never know where you'll end up.
If you do want to be popular, it's a good idea to befriend one of the nicer popular people; they'll be your ticket into "the group." Just make sure you don't abuse people on your way up. Sometimes friends don't work out, and then the rejects won't even want you later when you need a friend.
1-3. Be friendly with everyone.
Being cool doesn't necessarily mean you're popular. There are plenty of "popular" kids that are mean and not actually liked. Being one of them won't get you anywhere. Instead, aim to be popular and cool by having people legitimately like you. To do that, just be friendly and nice to everyone you meet. Why would you do anything else, right?
You probably have a pretty good grip on how to be friendly. The only thing to keep in mind is to be friendly to those people that you think aren't cool. Give them help when you sense they need it. Say hi in the hallways if you know them. You never know – they could be the next cool kid in a few months' time.
1-4. Don't ditch your old friends.
Just because you're trying to move into the cooler crowd, you shouldn't leave your old friends behind. If you try to ditch them, the people you want to join will know — and no one wants to be friends with that type of person. Make new ones in addition to the old.
1-5. Act like it's all natural.
You can spend ages on your hair/makeup and just say that it takes "one comb through." They will admire you because it would take them hours while it takes you 5 or 10 minutes. They will want to be like you, but don't keep mentioning or bragging about it.
1-6. Don't try so hard.
Just about every adult will tell you that when you grow up, you'll realize that being cool doesn't really matter and if they would've known that being cool is about not trying, they wouldn't have stressed so much. Though it's easier said than done, try to relax a little. If you're trying too hard, it's a turnoff and people won't think you're confident and that you don't like yourself. And if you don't like yourself, why should they?
Here's an example: let's say this person you don't really know asks you out on a date. You say no. Then, they start sending you love letters. You still say no. Then flowers. Next thing you know, they're outside your door at night. They are trying really, really hard. Is it working? No. In fact, it's the opposite of working. You wish they had a little self-respect and you just want them to go away.
1-7. Value your opinion above anyone else's.
Try your best to not care about what you think other people think of you. Just go with the flow. Why? Because not everyone is going to like you. No one is liked by everyone because we all have flaws and we all have different personalities. If you know for sure someone is judging you, you can voice it, then just act like you don't care, because you don't. Practice thinking this way and your confidence will improve via self-acceptance. People at school will start wondering where you got all this self-esteem!
This is where style comes into play. The skaters have their style, the plastics have their style, the nerds have their style, etc. We're all different and nothing is necessarily better than anything else. If someone is judging you, they're caught up in their small, closed mind. They're not going anywhere anyway, so don't get on the friend train with them. It's a one-way ticket to a dead end.
1-8. Avoid being a bully.
Don't be mean to other people in your school just to make yourself seem cooler. In fact, people generally hate bullies, they're just too scared to admit it to their faces. In time, the bullies lose their power and then they're left with nothing. It may be tempting now, but in the long run it will only do you harm.
Don't spread gossip or start rumors.
Don't make negative comments. Just because you don't like someone, or something they've done, doesn't mean you need to voice that.
Don't exclude others. After all, you're reading this because you want people to like you.
1-9. Don't let bullies push you around.
It's easier said than done, but in school, using your sense of humor and your good social tactics are the key. With friends at your side, you'll be untouchable. If things get too bad, tell a trusted adult so they can help deal with it.
2. Being Friendly, Confident, and Likable
2-1. Be open-minded.
Remember that part above about how being cool is about being liked by lots of different people? Well, to get all these different types of people liking you, you've got to like them. Open your mind and try to see that not only the coolest kids have value – that everyone does. You'll come off as a friendly, more likable, happier person – and that's the type of person most of us want to be around.
Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Kristen Stewart, Lady Gaga – these are all pretty cool people who were not cool in school (or so they say). This is proof that if you're not open-minded, you could miss out on some pretty awesome people.
2-2. Respect people
Being respectful to others even if they aren't your friends shows that you don't discriminate people based on anything because they are not your friends. You'll develop a positive reputation of always being kind and considerate and being friends with everyone because they can rely on you and that you won't judge them. That definitely sounds pretty cool.
A good way to make friends is to make them laugh. If you're cracking jokes at another's expense, just make sure they get it that it's in good fun. And try to stay away from making fun of teachers – that can easily backfire.
2-3. Keep it positive.
You know that kid who's sulking in the corner, all dressed in black, who's always frowning and talking to no one? Doesn't seem very happy, does he? Do you want to hang around that negativity? Probably not. If you want to be a magnet for people, to get all of them liking you, stay positive. Keep your chin up, be willing to laugh at yourself, and spread your positivity and awesomeness. Other people will end up flocking to your side so it rubs off on them.
And will it rub off on others? Probably. Some studies say that just being around other happy people makes us more likely to be happy; and hanging around sad people makes us more likely to be sad. So could you be that beacon of light for your friends? Of course!
2-4. Smile
When it comes to humans, we're pretty simple. We know what we like, and we don't like, and something we definitely do like is a person with a smile on their face. Not only does it show others that you're happier, make you happier (your mind actually starts believing it), but it can make you more sexually attractive, too. Put a smile on your face and see how you feel. Eventually it'll become a worthwhile habit!
Try not to put a fake one on either. Keep it natural. Most people can see through a fake smile. If you stay positive, having a genuine smile shouldn't be too hard to come by.
2-5. Stay true to you.
Though the phrase "be yourself" is repeated frequently, it doesn't mean that it's not valuable advice. In fact, it should be pretty clear between "don't try too hard" and "stick to your own sense of style" that being yourself is where it's at, unless you are not cool, then, you have to change yourself to be cool. Why does being yourself, if you are cool, make you cooler? Being yourself means you're comfortable with yourself and you're more confident. When you try to be someone else, you're just an imitation, and phonies are definitely not cool.
Think about it: only you can really be you: no one else can. You're unique and have a set of characteristics and skills that no one else around you has. You can offer the world something different. So why try to be a second-rate version of someone else? You are definitely cooler than anything else "you" can be.
2-6. Realize that school (and being cool) doesn't last forever.
In recent studies, it has been shown that kids who were cool in middle school generally aren't as successful in the long run as their less-than-cool peers. So if you're stressing about being cool and popular now, try to see that the kids who are cool now are likely at their peak in life. It's all downhill from here for them, and all uphill from here for you. That's a win, even if it doesn't feel like it.
In short, being cool is temporary. Eventually, as we age, we realize that "cool" doesn't really exist. We move on and we all start to do our own thing because it's what makes us happy. If the cool isn't coming easy to you, just wait. It gets easier with time.
2-7. Become a leader.
The cool people can't be followers, because they're the ones who set the trends. Take the initiative when it comes to making plans. Listen to different music, and introduce your friends to it. Start new games, and wear new styles. Not everything you do will become a trend, but being a follower isn't good for your status. When being a leader make sure your not bossy because this will keep your status good with people who aren't as popular.
3. Making a Good Impression
3-1. Get clean.
One of the easiest things you can do for your popularity status is stay fresh and smelling good. Kids in school tend to judge a book by its cover, and being smelly is a one-way ticket to get rejected. Take showers regularly, brush your teeth, floss, and use deodorant. You'll look more attractive, whether you're a guy or a girl, too.
It's also a good idea to wash your face regularly. Pre-adolescence and adolescence is a breeding ground for acne and black heads, and washing your face can combat that.
If you're worried about sweating during the day thanks to the weather or gym class, keep a stick of deodorant, talcum powder or a good-smelling spray in your locker or bag. Antiseptic deodorants are advisable.
3-2. Style your hair.
In addition to not being clean, you also won't attract a lot of friends if you looked like you just rolled out of bed, regardless of what age you are. Take a few minutes in the morning to style your hair however you think it looks best. A little bit of effort goes a long way, even if it's just a bit of gel or a couple rounds with a flat iron or blow dryer.
If you don't like your hair currently, get it cut. No idea what kind of cut? Odds are your hairstylist will be able to tell you what kind of cut will look good with the shape of your face. You could get highlights or a different color, too.
3-3. Pay attention to your clothes.
Every school is different, and there is not one individual look that ensures you'll be cool. At some schools, its the rebels who are "cool," at others it's the "jocks." The only thing you can really do is pay attention to your clothes and make sure you walk out the door with a look you know you like. Are your clothes clean? Do they match? Do you feel confident in them? That's most of the battle right there.
If you feel like you look good, you'll walk around acting like you look good, and others will follow suit. So much of personality is confidence. You don't have to be especially beautiful or especially smart or especially funny; you just have to be confident and the rest of the world may just be fooled.
3-4. Let your personality shine through your look.
When it comes to your clothes and your accessories, don't be afraid to have your own sense of style. Discover the clothes you like to wear, the brands you like, the accessories you like, and create your style. Wear those clothes to school and be unique. Who knows? You could start a trend.
Being cool is also about being a leader and doing your own thing – not about being a follower. Don't worry about the people who judge you about your clothing and those that are trying so hard to blend in (these are often the same people). Your own sense of style will attract those who also have their own sense of style.
Tips
Be friendly and be nice to people. Say hi to people, especially if you make eye contact and they look like they're expecting a greeting, and be friendly with your teachers too.
Being cool often means being funny. Tell jokes that make people laugh.
Keep up with the latest trends, but that doesn't mean that you have to have everything that's in style. Also, don't sport too many fads at once. It will make you look desperate and lack a unique style.
Warnings
Make sure you check your school dress code before you try dressing in style. If you don't, you can be in serious trouble with the teacher/principal.
It's stressed again that being cool isn't everything. Often in high school, the "norm" is a dangerous thing. It can lead to peer pressure which can in turn lead you to destroy your life with drugs and alcohol. If being cool means doing things you know are dangerous, don't.
Don't do anything risky (from drugs and alcohol to getting in fights) to seem cool. Having your own sensibilities and self-confidence is the whole point of being considered cool. It is also not worth the risk of hurting yourself and people thinking you don't have any class in the end.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Lots of Friends\\n1-1. Join a handful of organizations.\\nBeing cool isn't just about being popular, it's about being known.The easiest way to get your name and face recognized is by joining groups at school. Try to join a few that don't overlap – that way you'll meet the most people and develop a wide variety of interests.\\nOne idea is to join one of every kind of activity: one athletic, one academic, and one artistic. You could be on the basketball team, on the school newspaper, and in choir. It'll look good on your college resume, too.\\n1-2. Observe.\\nTry to identify who's where on the \\\"social ladder.\\\" It's not that big of a deal (being cool is about being liked, which is different than being popular), but it will help you know how to identify with people. What are the cool kids like? Are they jocks, are they smart, are they rebels? How about the mid-crowd? Do they follow along or sort of do their own thing? And the lowest tier, what about them? With whom in which groups do you want to be friends with? It's a good idea to be friends with people on all rungs of the ladder – you never know where you'll end up.\\nIf you do want to be popular, it's a good idea to befriend one of the nicer popular people; they'll be your ticket into \\\"the group.\\\" Just make sure you don't abuse people on your way up. Sometimes friends don't work out, and then the rejects won't even want you later when you need a friend.\\n1-3. Be friendly with everyone.\\nBeing cool doesn't necessarily mean you're popular. There are plenty of \\\"popular\\\" kids that are mean and not actually liked. Being one of them won't get you anywhere. Instead, aim to be popular and cool by having people legitimately like you. To do that, just be friendly and nice to everyone you meet. Why would you do anything else, right?\\nYou probably have a pretty good grip on how to be friendly. The only thing to keep in mind is to be friendly to those people that you think aren't cool. Give them help when you sense they need it. Say hi in the hallways if you know them. You never know – they could be the next cool kid in a few months' time.\\n1-4. Don't ditch your old friends.\\nJust because you're trying to move into the cooler crowd, you shouldn't leave your old friends behind. If you try to ditch them, the people you want to join will know — and no one wants to be friends with that type of person. Make new ones in addition to the old.\\n1-5. Act like it's all natural.\\nYou can spend ages on your hair/makeup and just say that it takes \\\"one comb through.\\\" They will admire you because it would take them hours while it takes you 5 or 10 minutes. They will want to be like you, but don't keep mentioning or bragging about it.\\n1-6. Don't try so hard.\\nJust about every adult will tell you that when you grow up, you'll realize that being cool doesn't really matter and if they would've known that being cool is about not trying, they wouldn't have stressed so much. Though it's easier said than done, try to relax a little. If you're trying too hard, it's a turnoff and people won't think you're confident and that you don't like yourself. And if you don't like yourself, why should they?\\nHere's an example: let's say this person you don't really know asks you out on a date. You say no. Then, they start sending you love letters. You still say no. Then flowers. Next thing you know, they're outside your door at night. They are trying really, really hard. Is it working? No. In fact, it's the opposite of working. You wish they had a little self-respect and you just want them to go away.\\n1-7. Value your opinion above anyone else's.\\nTry your best to not care about what you think other people think of you. Just go with the flow. Why? Because not everyone is going to like you. No one is liked by everyone because we all have flaws and we all have different personalities. If you know for sure someone is judging you, you can voice it, then just act like you don't care, because you don't. Practice thinking this way and your confidence will improve via self-acceptance. People at school will start wondering where you got all this self-esteem!\\nThis is where style comes into play. The skaters have their style, the plastics have their style, the nerds have their style, etc. We're all different and nothing is necessarily better than anything else. If someone is judging you, they're caught up in their small, closed mind. They're not going anywhere anyway, so don't get on the friend train with them. It's a one-way ticket to a dead end.\\n1-8. Avoid being a bully.\\nDon't be mean to other people in your school just to make yourself seem cooler. In fact, people generally hate bullies, they're just too scared to admit it to their faces. In time, the bullies lose their power and then they're left with nothing. It may be tempting now, but in the long run it will only do you harm.\\nDon't spread gossip or start rumors.\\nDon't make negative comments. Just because you don't like someone, or something they've done, doesn't mean you need to voice that.\\nDon't exclude others. After all, you're reading this because you want people to like you.\\n1-9. Don't let bullies push you around.\\nIt's easier said than done, but in school, using your sense of humor and your good social tactics are the key. With friends at your side, you'll be untouchable. If things get too bad, tell a trusted adult so they can help deal with it.\\n2. Being Friendly, Confident, and Likable\\n2-1. Be open-minded.\\nRemember that part above about how being cool is about being liked by lots of different people? Well, to get all these different types of people liking you, you've got to like them. Open your mind and try to see that not only the coolest kids have value – that everyone does. You'll come off as a friendly, more likable, happier person – and that's the type of person most of us want to be around.\\nTaylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Kristen Stewart, Lady Gaga – these are all pretty cool people who were not cool in school (or so they say). This is proof that if you're not open-minded, you could miss out on some pretty awesome people.\\n2-2. Respect people\\nBeing respectful to others even if they aren't your friends shows that you don't discriminate people based on anything because they are not your friends. You'll develop a positive reputation of always being kind and considerate and being friends with everyone because they can rely on you and that you won't judge them. That definitely sounds pretty cool.\\nA good way to make friends is to make them laugh. If you're cracking jokes at another's expense, just make sure they get it that it's in good fun. And try to stay away from making fun of teachers – that can easily backfire.\\n2-3. Keep it positive.\\nYou know that kid who's sulking in the corner, all dressed in black, who's always frowning and talking to no one? Doesn't seem very happy, does he? Do you want to hang around that negativity? Probably not. If you want to be a magnet for people, to get all of them liking you, stay positive. Keep your chin up, be willing to laugh at yourself, and spread your positivity and awesomeness. Other people will end up flocking to your side so it rubs off on them.\\nAnd will it rub off on others? Probably. Some studies say that just being around other happy people makes us more likely to be happy; and hanging around sad people makes us more likely to be sad. So could you be that beacon of light for your friends? Of course!\\n2-4. Smile\\nWhen it comes to humans, we're pretty simple. We know what we like, and we don't like, and something we definitely do like is a person with a smile on their face. Not only does it show others that you're happier, make you happier (your mind actually starts believing it), but it can make you more sexually attractive, too. Put a smile on your face and see how you feel. Eventually it'll become a worthwhile habit!\\nTry not to put a fake one on either. Keep it natural. Most people can see through a fake smile. If you stay positive, having a genuine smile shouldn't be too hard to come by.\\n2-5. Stay true to you.\\nThough the phrase \\\"be yourself\\\" is repeated frequently, it doesn't mean that it's not valuable advice. In fact, it should be pretty clear between \\\"don't try too hard\\\" and \\\"stick to your own sense of style\\\" that being yourself is where it's at, unless you are not cool, then, you have to change yourself to be cool. Why does being yourself, if you are cool, make you cooler? Being yourself means you're comfortable with yourself and you're more confident. When you try to be someone else, you're just an imitation, and phonies are definitely not cool.\\nThink about it: only you can really be you: no one else can. You're unique and have a set of characteristics and skills that no one else around you has. You can offer the world something different. So why try to be a second-rate version of someone else? You are definitely cooler than anything else \\\"you\\\" can be.\\n2-6. Realize that school (and being cool) doesn't last forever.\\nIn recent studies, it has been shown that kids who were cool in middle school generally aren't as successful in the long run as their less-than-cool peers. So if you're stressing about being cool and popular now, try to see that the kids who are cool now are likely at their peak in life. It's all downhill from here for them, and all uphill from here for you. That's a win, even if it doesn't feel like it.\\nIn short, being cool is temporary. Eventually, as we age, we realize that \\\"cool\\\" doesn't really exist. We move on and we all start to do our own thing because it's what makes us happy. If the cool isn't coming easy to you, just wait. It gets easier with time.\\n2-7. Become a leader.\\nThe cool people can't be followers, because they're the ones who set the trends. Take the initiative when it comes to making plans. Listen to different music, and introduce your friends to it. Start new games, and wear new styles. Not everything you do will become a trend, but being a follower isn't good for your status. When being a leader make sure your not bossy because this will keep your status good with people who aren't as popular.\\n3. Making a Good Impression\\n3-1. Get clean.\\nOne of the easiest things you can do for your popularity status is stay fresh and smelling good. Kids in school tend to judge a book by its cover, and being smelly is a one-way ticket to get rejected. Take showers regularly, brush your teeth, floss, and use deodorant. You'll look more attractive, whether you're a guy or a girl, too.\\nIt's also a good idea to wash your face regularly. Pre-adolescence and adolescence is a breeding ground for acne and black heads, and washing your face can combat that.\\nIf you're worried about sweating during the day thanks to the weather or gym class, keep a stick of deodorant, talcum powder or a good-smelling spray in your locker or bag. Antiseptic deodorants are advisable.\\n3-2. Style your hair.\\nIn addition to not being clean, you also won't attract a lot of friends if you looked like you just rolled out of bed, regardless of what age you are. Take a few minutes in the morning to style your hair however you think it looks best. A little bit of effort goes a long way, even if it's just a bit of gel or a couple rounds with a flat iron or blow dryer.\\nIf you don't like your hair currently, get it cut. No idea what kind of cut? Odds are your hairstylist will be able to tell you what kind of cut will look good with the shape of your face. You could get highlights or a different color, too.\\n3-3. Pay attention to your clothes.\\nEvery school is different, and there is not one individual look that ensures you'll be cool. At some schools, its the rebels who are \\\"cool,\\\" at others it's the \\\"jocks.\\\" The only thing you can really do is pay attention to your clothes and make sure you walk out the door with a look you know you like. Are your clothes clean? Do they match? Do you feel confident in them? That's most of the battle right there.\\nIf you feel like you look good, you'll walk around acting like you look good, and others will follow suit. So much of personality is confidence. You don't have to be especially beautiful or especially smart or especially funny; you just have to be confident and the rest of the world may just be fooled.\\n3-4. Let your personality shine through your look.\\nWhen it comes to your clothes and your accessories, don't be afraid to have your own sense of style. Discover the clothes you like to wear, the brands you like, the accessories you like, and create your style. Wear those clothes to school and be unique. Who knows? You could start a trend.\\nBeing cool is also about being a leader and doing your own thing – not about being a follower. Don't worry about the people who judge you about your clothing and those that are trying so hard to blend in (these are often the same people). Your own sense of style will attract those who also have their own sense of style.\\nTips\\nBe friendly and be nice to people. Say hi to people, especially if you make eye contact and they look like they're expecting a greeting, and be friendly with your teachers too.\\nBeing cool often means being funny. Tell jokes that make people laugh.\\nKeep up with the latest trends, but that doesn't mean that you have to have everything that's in style. Also, don't sport too many fads at once. It will make you look desperate and lack a unique style.\\nWarnings\\nMake sure you check your school dress code before you try dressing in style. If you don't, you can be in serious trouble with the teacher/principal.\\nIt's stressed again that being cool isn't everything. Often in high school, the \\\"norm\\\" is a dangerous thing. It can lead to peer pressure which can in turn lead you to destroy your life with drugs and alcohol. If being cool means doing things you know are dangerous, don't.\\nDon't do anything risky (from drugs and alcohol to getting in fights) to seem cool. Having your own sensibilities and self-confidence is the whole point of being considered cool. It is also not worth the risk of hurting yourself and people thinking you don't have any class in the end.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you've already read up on how to be cool but are still left wondering how to apply those tips to your school life. It seems like a high-pressure environment, but re-evaluating what makes someone \\\"cool\\\" can take some of that pressure off. To be cool at school, you really just need to take basic care of your appearance, be friendly and open-minded, develop your interests, and stay your normally awesome self. If you can do all of this, coolness could be easier than you ever imagined. This is about how you can become cooler in school.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Lots of Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join a handful of organizations.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool isn't just about being popular, it's about being known.The easiest way to get your name and face recognized is by joining groups at school. Try to join a few that don't overlap – that way you'll meet the most people and develop a wide variety of interests.\\nOne idea is to join one of every kind of activity: one athletic, one academic, and one artistic. You could be on the basketball team, on the school newspaper, and in choir. It'll look good on your college resume, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Observe.\", \"描述\": \"Try to identify who's where on the \\\"social ladder.\\\" It's not that big of a deal (being cool is about being liked, which is different than being popular), but it will help you know how to identify with people. What are the cool kids like? Are they jocks, are they smart, are they rebels? How about the mid-crowd? Do they follow along or sort of do their own thing? And the lowest tier, what about them? With whom in which groups do you want to be friends with? It's a good idea to be friends with people on all rungs of the ladder – you never know where you'll end up.\\nIf you do want to be popular, it's a good idea to befriend one of the nicer popular people; they'll be your ticket into \\\"the group.\\\" Just make sure you don't abuse people on your way up. Sometimes friends don't work out, and then the rejects won't even want you later when you need a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be friendly with everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool doesn't necessarily mean you're popular. There are plenty of \\\"popular\\\" kids that are mean and not actually liked. Being one of them won't get you anywhere. Instead, aim to be popular and cool by having people legitimately like you. To do that, just be friendly and nice to everyone you meet. Why would you do anything else, right?\\nYou probably have a pretty good grip on how to be friendly. The only thing to keep in mind is to be friendly to those people that you think aren't cool. Give them help when you sense they need it. Say hi in the hallways if you know them. You never know – they could be the next cool kid in a few months' time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't ditch your old friends.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're trying to move into the cooler crowd, you shouldn't leave your old friends behind. If you try to ditch them, the people you want to join will know — and no one wants to be friends with that type of person. Make new ones in addition to the old.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act like it's all natural.\", \"描述\": \"You can spend ages on your hair/makeup and just say that it takes \\\"one comb through.\\\" They will admire you because it would take them hours while it takes you 5 or 10 minutes. They will want to be like you, but don't keep mentioning or bragging about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't try so hard.\", \"描述\": \"Just about every adult will tell you that when you grow up, you'll realize that being cool doesn't really matter and if they would've known that being cool is about not trying, they wouldn't have stressed so much. Though it's easier said than done, try to relax a little. If you're trying too hard, it's a turnoff and people won't think you're confident and that you don't like yourself. And if you don't like yourself, why should they?\\nHere's an example: let's say this person you don't really know asks you out on a date. You say no. Then, they start sending you love letters. You still say no. Then flowers. Next thing you know, they're outside your door at night. They are trying really, really hard. Is it working? No. In fact, it's the opposite of working. You wish they had a little self-respect and you just want them to go away.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Value your opinion above anyone else's.\", \"描述\": \"Try your best to not care about what you think other people think of you. Just go with the flow. Why? Because not everyone is going to like you. No one is liked by everyone because we all have flaws and we all have different personalities. If you know for sure someone is judging you, you can voice it, then just act like you don't care, because you don't. Practice thinking this way and your confidence will improve via self-acceptance. People at school will start wondering where you got all this self-esteem!\\nThis is where style comes into play. The skaters have their style, the plastics have their style, the nerds have their style, etc. We're all different and nothing is necessarily better than anything else. If someone is judging you, they're caught up in their small, closed mind. They're not going anywhere anyway, so don't get on the friend train with them. It's a one-way ticket to a dead end.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid being a bully.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be mean to other people in your school just to make yourself seem cooler. In fact, people generally hate bullies, they're just too scared to admit it to their faces. In time, the bullies lose their power and then they're left with nothing. It may be tempting now, but in the long run it will only do you harm.\\nDon't spread gossip or start rumors.\\nDon't make negative comments. Just because you don't like someone, or something they've done, doesn't mean you need to voice that.\\nDon't exclude others. After all, you're reading this because you want people to like you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't let bullies push you around.\", \"描述\": \"It's easier said than done, but in school, using your sense of humor and your good social tactics are the key. With friends at your side, you'll be untouchable. If things get too bad, tell a trusted adult so they can help deal with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Friendly, Confident, and Likable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open-minded.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that part above about how being cool is about being liked by lots of different people? Well, to get all these different types of people liking you, you've got to like them. Open your mind and try to see that not only the coolest kids have value – that everyone does. You'll come off as a friendly, more likable, happier person – and that's the type of person most of us want to be around.\\nTaylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Kristen Stewart, Lady Gaga – these are all pretty cool people who were not cool in school (or so they say). This is proof that if you're not open-minded, you could miss out on some pretty awesome people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect people\", \"描述\": \"Being respectful to others even if they aren't your friends shows that you don't discriminate people based on anything because they are not your friends. You'll develop a positive reputation of always being kind and considerate and being friends with everyone because they can rely on you and that you won't judge them. That definitely sounds pretty cool.\\nA good way to make friends is to make them laugh. If you're cracking jokes at another's expense, just make sure they get it that it's in good fun. And try to stay away from making fun of teachers – that can easily backfire.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it positive.\", \"描述\": \"You know that kid who's sulking in the corner, all dressed in black, who's always frowning and talking to no one? Doesn't seem very happy, does he? Do you want to hang around that negativity? Probably not. If you want to be a magnet for people, to get all of them liking you, stay positive. Keep your chin up, be willing to laugh at yourself, and spread your positivity and awesomeness. Other people will end up flocking to your side so it rubs off on them.\\nAnd will it rub off on others? Probably. Some studies say that just being around other happy people makes us more likely to be happy; and hanging around sad people makes us more likely to be sad. So could you be that beacon of light for your friends? Of course!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to humans, we're pretty simple. We know what we like, and we don't like, and something we definitely do like is a person with a smile on their face. Not only does it show others that you're happier, make you happier (your mind actually starts believing it), but it can make you more sexually attractive, too. Put a smile on your face and see how you feel. Eventually it'll become a worthwhile habit!\\nTry not to put a fake one on either. Keep it natural. Most people can see through a fake smile. If you stay positive, having a genuine smile shouldn't be too hard to come by.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay true to you.\", \"描述\": \"Though the phrase \\\"be yourself\\\" is repeated frequently, it doesn't mean that it's not valuable advice. In fact, it should be pretty clear between \\\"don't try too hard\\\" and \\\"stick to your own sense of style\\\" that being yourself is where it's at, unless you are not cool, then, you have to change yourself to be cool. Why does being yourself, if you are cool, make you cooler? Being yourself means you're comfortable with yourself and you're more confident. When you try to be someone else, you're just an imitation, and phonies are definitely not cool.\\nThink about it: only you can really be you: no one else can. You're unique and have a set of characteristics and skills that no one else around you has. You can offer the world something different. So why try to be a second-rate version of someone else? You are definitely cooler than anything else \\\"you\\\" can be.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Realize that school (and being cool) doesn't last forever.\", \"描述\": \"In recent studies, it has been shown that kids who were cool in middle school generally aren't as successful in the long run as their less-than-cool peers. So if you're stressing about being cool and popular now, try to see that the kids who are cool now are likely at their peak in life. It's all downhill from here for them, and all uphill from here for you. That's a win, even if it doesn't feel like it.\\nIn short, being cool is temporary. Eventually, as we age, we realize that \\\"cool\\\" doesn't really exist. We move on and we all start to do our own thing because it's what makes us happy. If the cool isn't coming easy to you, just wait. It gets easier with time.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Become a leader.\", \"描述\": \"The cool people can't be followers, because they're the ones who set the trends. Take the initiative when it comes to making plans. Listen to different music, and introduce your friends to it. Start new games, and wear new styles. Not everything you do will become a trend, but being a follower isn't good for your status. When being a leader make sure your not bossy because this will keep your status good with people who aren't as popular.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making a Good Impression\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get clean.\", \"描述\": \"One of the easiest things you can do for your popularity status is stay fresh and smelling good. Kids in school tend to judge a book by its cover, and being smelly is a one-way ticket to get rejected. Take showers regularly, brush your teeth, floss, and use deodorant. You'll look more attractive, whether you're a guy or a girl, too.\\nIt's also a good idea to wash your face regularly. Pre-adolescence and adolescence is a breeding ground for acne and black heads, and washing your face can combat that.\\nIf you're worried about sweating during the day thanks to the weather or gym class, keep a stick of deodorant, talcum powder or a good-smelling spray in your locker or bag. Antiseptic deodorants are advisable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Style your hair.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to not being clean, you also won't attract a lot of friends if you looked like you just rolled out of bed, regardless of what age you are. Take a few minutes in the morning to style your hair however you think it looks best. A little bit of effort goes a long way, even if it's just a bit of gel or a couple rounds with a flat iron or blow dryer.\\nIf you don't like your hair currently, get it cut. No idea what kind of cut? Odds are your hairstylist will be able to tell you what kind of cut will look good with the shape of your face. You could get highlights or a different color, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Every school is different, and there is not one individual look that ensures you'll be cool. At some schools, its the rebels who are \\\"cool,\\\" at others it's the \\\"jocks.\\\" The only thing you can really do is pay attention to your clothes and make sure you walk out the door with a look you know you like. Are your clothes clean? Do they match? Do you feel confident in them? That's most of the battle right there.\\nIf you feel like you look good, you'll walk around acting like you look good, and others will follow suit. So much of personality is confidence. You don't have to be especially beautiful or especially smart or especially funny; you just have to be confident and the rest of the world may just be fooled.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let your personality shine through your look.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to your clothes and your accessories, don't be afraid to have your own sense of style. Discover the clothes you like to wear, the brands you like, the accessories you like, and create your style. Wear those clothes to school and be unique. Who knows? You could start a trend.\\nBeing cool is also about being a leader and doing your own thing – not about being a follower. Don't worry about the people who judge you about your clothing and those that are trying so hard to blend in (these are often the same people). Your own sense of style will attract those who also have their own sense of style.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be friendly and be nice to people. Say hi to people, especially if you make eye contact and they look like they're expecting a greeting, and be friendly with your teachers too.\\n\", \"Being cool often means being funny. Tell jokes that make people laugh.\\n\", \"Keep up with the latest trends, but that doesn't mean that you have to have everything that's in style. Also, don't sport too many fads at once. It will make you look desperate and lack a unique style.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Make sure you check your school dress code before you try dressing in style. If you don't, you can be in serious trouble with the teacher/principal.\\n\", \"It's stressed again that being cool isn't everything. Often in high school, the \\\"norm\\\" is a dangerous thing. It can lead to peer pressure which can in turn lead you to destroy your life with drugs and alcohol. If being cool means doing things you know are dangerous, don't.\\n\", \"Don't do anything risky (from drugs and alcohol to getting in fights) to seem cool. Having your own sensibilities and self-confidence is the whole point of being considered cool. It is also not worth the risk of hurting yourself and people thinking you don't have any class in the end.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,654 | How to Be Cool at School in Uniform | 1. Altering Your Uniform
1-1. Roll up your sleeves.
This is a simple trick that allows you to show off your jewelry while also having a practical effect. During the warmer months, it's an easy way to look cool and keep cool. Just make sure you have some cute jewelry to show off, too.
1-2. Unbutton your top button.
As long as it doesn't reveal too much, unbuttoning your top button will make you look relaxed, like you don't let things bother you. Whether you're a guy or a girl, as long as it doesn't get you into trouble, it's a harmless and easy way to look less strict.
Be conscious of how much skin is being revealed. If your top button is already low, you might be showing too much if you unbutton it.
1-3. Mix and match different uniform items.
Some schools offer different outfits to serve as uniforms for different days of the week. Don't be afraid to mix and match different articles from each outfit.
For girls, you can try wearing tights with your skirt in the colder months.
For guys, wear a different tie or sport coat with your uniform.
2. Changing Your Attitude
2-1. Be confident.
Confidence and self-acceptance shows that you truly believe in yourself and the things you can accomplish, which other people will clearly be able to see. Nothing says "cool" like a lot of confidence in the way you are and the way you're dressed. Even if you don't alter your uniform or your appearance in any way, your confidence alone will stand out to others.
2-2. Keep cool under pressure.
If a teacher puts you on the spot, don't sweat. Simply ask the teacher to rephrase the question if you don't understand, or politely apologize and ask them to repeat the question.
If you don't understand, don't fumble. Try saying, "I'm sorry, I don't completely understand what you're asking. Can you rephrase the question?"
If you don't know the answer, don't try to make one up. Admit that you don't know, and try to seek the answer. You can say something like, "I wasn't sure about that part of the assignment. What part of our texts/reading can I find the answer?" Or ask a question directly related to the assignment.
2-3. Smile.
Even if you're a little unsure of yourself, smiling shows your overall happiness with yourself and your appearance. Putting on a happy face doesn't just make you more likeable; it makes you healthier. Always smile to your friends and teachers, and be polite and bright.
It would be a good idea to keep your teeth white and free of anything stuck in between. Brush your teeth daily and check your smile after you eat things.
2-4. Be nice.
You may have your group of friends, but it's important to be nice to others around you, as well. Bullying is never cool, and can cause damage to your own reputation as well as the victim's personal health and wellbeing.
2-5. Stand up for yourself.
If somebody is bullying you, it's important to stand up for yourself. Whatever the reason, don't be ashamed of the way you look or the way you are. If you can be confident and happy with who you are, the people bullying you won't look so cool-- and you'll look even cooler.
When you stand up for yourself, remember that fighting is not the same thing. Fighting can get you into a lot of trouble and it can hurt people. ß
3. Changing Your Physical Appearance
3-1. Cut your hair.
While schools may be able to monitor your uniform, there's less regulation when it comes to your physical appearance. Neon colors and distracting cuts may be outlawed, but there's no harm in changing your hair natural hair color or getting a style cut. Keeping your hair maintained and trimmed makes you look more polished and cool.
This can be useful for both guys and girls. Take a look at some celebrities your age and get hair styling ideas from them.
3-2. Maintain your personal hygiene.
Make sure your shower every day and keep everything clean, including under your fingernails. Keep your fingernails trimmed and maintained. Try using perfume or cologne to enhance the aroma around you.
3-3. Paint your fingernails (for girls).
Try not to let it chip. If you use a base coat and a top coat, it makes your nail color last longer without chipping.
Keep reapplying a top coat every day or every other day to keep the paint from chipping.
3-4. Trim your facial hair (for guys).
If you're old enough to grow it, facial hair can be a cool way to stand out. Don't let it grow to shaggy or overgrown. Keep it maintained and trimmed for a polish, clean look.
Untrimmed facial hair could be in violation of the dress code and uniform policy. If a teacher sees your mane unkempt, they could ask you to shave at school.
4. Accessorizing Your Uniform
4-1. Choose a color scheme.
Usually a school uniform has the same colors as the school athletic programs and mascot. These can be a variety of combinations of colors. Take a look at a color wheel and see what colors best complement each other. Complementary colors are any two colors which are directly opposite each other.
Green is complementary to blue and yellow.
Purple is complementary to red and blue.
4-2. Buy new jewelry sticking with your color scheme.
No matter how dull your uniform or school colors may be, you can always brighten things up with jewelry. For girls, you can focus on earrings, bracelets and necklaces. For guys, you can stick with rings, watches and subtle chains.
Be careful not to go overboard. Even if you buy a lot of jewelry, you don't have to wear it all at once. Use different pieces and vary them throughout the week.
4-3. Shop for additional clothing items.
Just because you're stuck wearing a uniform doesn't mean you can't add to it (sometimes). Try purchasing a new jacket or cardigan. Adding scarves or accessorizing your belts could stand out as well.
Everything from your shoes and socks to your bag and hair accessories provides an opportunity to express yourself and your personal style.
4-4. Wear a hat.
Even if your school doesn't allow hats to be worn in the building, you can still look cool before and after school with a hat. Guys can sport a backwards baseball cap while girls flex a visor, a stylish cap or a cute beret. The same works for sunglasses.
Just make sure you have a place to put the hat and sunglasses while class is in session so they don't get taken away. Invest in a cute bag or backpack to carry your things.
Tips
Every school's dress code is different. "Twenty-two states authorize schools and districts to implement dress code and/or uniform policies. In states where no policy exists, it can be assumed that unless explicitly prohibited, schools and districts can require dress codes and/or uniforms."[10]
X
Research source
Check the school policy on uniforms and dress codes, and alter it from there.
If you ask directly if something is allowed, it's easier for the teacher to deny your request.
Usually you're allowed 1-2 dress code infractions before you get into any serious trouble. Having the same infraction multiple times is insubordination and usually results in disciplinary action.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Altering Your Uniform\\n1-1. Roll up your sleeves.\\nThis is a simple trick that allows you to show off your jewelry while also having a practical effect. During the warmer months, it's an easy way to look cool and keep cool. Just make sure you have some cute jewelry to show off, too.\\n1-2. Unbutton your top button.\\nAs long as it doesn't reveal too much, unbuttoning your top button will make you look relaxed, like you don't let things bother you. Whether you're a guy or a girl, as long as it doesn't get you into trouble, it's a harmless and easy way to look less strict.\\nBe conscious of how much skin is being revealed. If your top button is already low, you might be showing too much if you unbutton it.\\n1-3. Mix and match different uniform items.\\nSome schools offer different outfits to serve as uniforms for different days of the week. Don't be afraid to mix and match different articles from each outfit.\\nFor girls, you can try wearing tights with your skirt in the colder months.\\nFor guys, wear a different tie or sport coat with your uniform.\\n2. Changing Your Attitude\\n2-1. Be confident.\\nConfidence and self-acceptance shows that you truly believe in yourself and the things you can accomplish, which other people will clearly be able to see. Nothing says \\\"cool\\\" like a lot of confidence in the way you are and the way you're dressed. Even if you don't alter your uniform or your appearance in any way, your confidence alone will stand out to others.\\n2-2. Keep cool under pressure.\\nIf a teacher puts you on the spot, don't sweat. Simply ask the teacher to rephrase the question if you don't understand, or politely apologize and ask them to repeat the question.\\nIf you don't understand, don't fumble. Try saying, \\\"I'm sorry, I don't completely understand what you're asking. Can you rephrase the question?\\\"\\nIf you don't know the answer, don't try to make one up. Admit that you don't know, and try to seek the answer. You can say something like, \\\"I wasn't sure about that part of the assignment. What part of our texts/reading can I find the answer?\\\" Or ask a question directly related to the assignment.\\n2-3. Smile.\\nEven if you're a little unsure of yourself, smiling shows your overall happiness with yourself and your appearance. Putting on a happy face doesn't just make you more likeable; it makes you healthier. Always smile to your friends and teachers, and be polite and bright.\\nIt would be a good idea to keep your teeth white and free of anything stuck in between. Brush your teeth daily and check your smile after you eat things.\\n2-4. Be nice.\\nYou may have your group of friends, but it's important to be nice to others around you, as well. Bullying is never cool, and can cause damage to your own reputation as well as the victim's personal health and wellbeing.\\n2-5. Stand up for yourself.\\nIf somebody is bullying you, it's important to stand up for yourself. Whatever the reason, don't be ashamed of the way you look or the way you are. If you can be confident and happy with who you are, the people bullying you won't look so cool-- and you'll look even cooler.\\nWhen you stand up for yourself, remember that fighting is not the same thing. Fighting can get you into a lot of trouble and it can hurt people. ß\\n3. Changing Your Physical Appearance\\n3-1. Cut your hair.\\nWhile schools may be able to monitor your uniform, there's less regulation when it comes to your physical appearance. Neon colors and distracting cuts may be outlawed, but there's no harm in changing your hair natural hair color or getting a style cut. Keeping your hair maintained and trimmed makes you look more polished and cool.\\nThis can be useful for both guys and girls. Take a look at some celebrities your age and get hair styling ideas from them.\\n3-2. Maintain your personal hygiene.\\nMake sure your shower every day and keep everything clean, including under your fingernails. Keep your fingernails trimmed and maintained. Try using perfume or cologne to enhance the aroma around you.\\n3-3. Paint your fingernails (for girls).\\nTry not to let it chip. If you use a base coat and a top coat, it makes your nail color last longer without chipping.\\nKeep reapplying a top coat every day or every other day to keep the paint from chipping.\\n3-4. Trim your facial hair (for guys).\\nIf you're old enough to grow it, facial hair can be a cool way to stand out. Don't let it grow to shaggy or overgrown. Keep it maintained and trimmed for a polish, clean look.\\nUntrimmed facial hair could be in violation of the dress code and uniform policy. If a teacher sees your mane unkempt, they could ask you to shave at school.\\n4. Accessorizing Your Uniform\\n4-1. Choose a color scheme.\\nUsually a school uniform has the same colors as the school athletic programs and mascot. These can be a variety of combinations of colors. Take a look at a color wheel and see what colors best complement each other. Complementary colors are any two colors which are directly opposite each other.\\nGreen is complementary to blue and yellow.\\nPurple is complementary to red and blue.\\n4-2. Buy new jewelry sticking with your color scheme.\\nNo matter how dull your uniform or school colors may be, you can always brighten things up with jewelry. For girls, you can focus on earrings, bracelets and necklaces. For guys, you can stick with rings, watches and subtle chains.\\nBe careful not to go overboard. Even if you buy a lot of jewelry, you don't have to wear it all at once. Use different pieces and vary them throughout the week.\\n4-3. Shop for additional clothing items.\\nJust because you're stuck wearing a uniform doesn't mean you can't add to it (sometimes). Try purchasing a new jacket or cardigan. Adding scarves or accessorizing your belts could stand out as well.\\nEverything from your shoes and socks to your bag and hair accessories provides an opportunity to express yourself and your personal style.\\n4-4. Wear a hat.\\nEven if your school doesn't allow hats to be worn in the building, you can still look cool before and after school with a hat. Guys can sport a backwards baseball cap while girls flex a visor, a stylish cap or a cute beret. The same works for sunglasses.\\nJust make sure you have a place to put the hat and sunglasses while class is in session so they don't get taken away. Invest in a cute bag or backpack to carry your things.\\nTips\\nEvery school's dress code is different. \\\"Twenty-two states authorize schools and districts to implement dress code and/or uniform policies. In states where no policy exists, it can be assumed that unless explicitly prohibited, schools and districts can require dress codes and/or uniforms.\\\"[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Check the school policy on uniforms and dress codes, and alter it from there.\\nIf you ask directly if something is allowed, it's easier for the teacher to deny your request.\\nUsually you're allowed 1-2 dress code infractions before you get into any serious trouble. Having the same infraction multiple times is insubordination and usually results in disciplinary action.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"School uniforms are often instituted to discourage inappropriate or offensive styles or logos, but they aren’t always the trendiest looking clothes. It can be a real drag wearing the same thing every day, but if you want to know how to look cool in your uniform, we’ve got you covered. There are plenty of little alterations and adjustments you can make to your uniform to make it more interesting without violating your school’s dress code.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Altering Your Uniform\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Roll up your sleeves.\", \"描述\": \"This is a simple trick that allows you to show off your jewelry while also having a practical effect. During the warmer months, it's an easy way to look cool and keep cool. Just make sure you have some cute jewelry to show off, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Unbutton your top button.\", \"描述\": \"As long as it doesn't reveal too much, unbuttoning your top button will make you look relaxed, like you don't let things bother you. Whether you're a guy or a girl, as long as it doesn't get you into trouble, it's a harmless and easy way to look less strict.\\nBe conscious of how much skin is being revealed. If your top button is already low, you might be showing too much if you unbutton it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mix and match different uniform items.\", \"描述\": \"Some schools offer different outfits to serve as uniforms for different days of the week. Don't be afraid to mix and match different articles from each outfit.\\nFor girls, you can try wearing tights with your skirt in the colder months.\\nFor guys, wear a different tie or sport coat with your uniform.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence and self-acceptance shows that you truly believe in yourself and the things you can accomplish, which other people will clearly be able to see. Nothing says \\\"cool\\\" like a lot of confidence in the way you are and the way you're dressed. Even if you don't alter your uniform or your appearance in any way, your confidence alone will stand out to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep cool under pressure.\", \"描述\": \"If a teacher puts you on the spot, don't sweat. Simply ask the teacher to rephrase the question if you don't understand, or politely apologize and ask them to repeat the question.\\nIf you don't understand, don't fumble. Try saying, \\\"I'm sorry, I don't completely understand what you're asking. Can you rephrase the question?\\\"\\nIf you don't know the answer, don't try to make one up. Admit that you don't know, and try to seek the answer. You can say something like, \\\"I wasn't sure about that part of the assignment. What part of our texts/reading can I find the answer?\\\" Or ask a question directly related to the assignment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're a little unsure of yourself, smiling shows your overall happiness with yourself and your appearance. Putting on a happy face doesn't just make you more likeable; it makes you healthier. Always smile to your friends and teachers, and be polite and bright.\\nIt would be a good idea to keep your teeth white and free of anything stuck in between. Brush your teeth daily and check your smile after you eat things.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be nice.\", \"描述\": \"You may have your group of friends, but it's important to be nice to others around you, as well. Bullying is never cool, and can cause damage to your own reputation as well as the victim's personal health and wellbeing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If somebody is bullying you, it's important to stand up for yourself. Whatever the reason, don't be ashamed of the way you look or the way you are. If you can be confident and happy with who you are, the people bullying you won't look so cool-- and you'll look even cooler.\\nWhen you stand up for yourself, remember that fighting is not the same thing. Fighting can get you into a lot of trouble and it can hurt people. ß\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Physical Appearance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cut your hair.\", \"描述\": \"While schools may be able to monitor your uniform, there's less regulation when it comes to your physical appearance. Neon colors and distracting cuts may be outlawed, but there's no harm in changing your hair natural hair color or getting a style cut. Keeping your hair maintained and trimmed makes you look more polished and cool.\\nThis can be useful for both guys and girls. Take a look at some celebrities your age and get hair styling ideas from them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain your personal hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure your shower every day and keep everything clean, including under your fingernails. Keep your fingernails trimmed and maintained. Try using perfume or cologne to enhance the aroma around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Paint your fingernails (for girls).\", \"描述\": \"Try not to let it chip. If you use a base coat and a top coat, it makes your nail color last longer without chipping.\\nKeep reapplying a top coat every day or every other day to keep the paint from chipping.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Trim your facial hair (for guys).\", \"描述\": \"If you're old enough to grow it, facial hair can be a cool way to stand out. Don't let it grow to shaggy or overgrown. Keep it maintained and trimmed for a polish, clean look.\\nUntrimmed facial hair could be in violation of the dress code and uniform policy. If a teacher sees your mane unkempt, they could ask you to shave at school.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accessorizing Your Uniform\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a color scheme.\", \"描述\": \"Usually a school uniform has the same colors as the school athletic programs and mascot. These can be a variety of combinations of colors. Take a look at a color wheel and see what colors best complement each other. Complementary colors are any two colors which are directly opposite each other.\\nGreen is complementary to blue and yellow.\\nPurple is complementary to red and blue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy new jewelry sticking with your color scheme.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how dull your uniform or school colors may be, you can always brighten things up with jewelry. For girls, you can focus on earrings, bracelets and necklaces. For guys, you can stick with rings, watches and subtle chains.\\nBe careful not to go overboard. Even if you buy a lot of jewelry, you don't have to wear it all at once. Use different pieces and vary them throughout the week.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shop for additional clothing items.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're stuck wearing a uniform doesn't mean you can't add to it (sometimes). Try purchasing a new jacket or cardigan. Adding scarves or accessorizing your belts could stand out as well.\\nEverything from your shoes and socks to your bag and hair accessories provides an opportunity to express yourself and your personal style.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear a hat.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your school doesn't allow hats to be worn in the building, you can still look cool before and after school with a hat. Guys can sport a backwards baseball cap while girls flex a visor, a stylish cap or a cute beret. The same works for sunglasses.\\nJust make sure you have a place to put the hat and sunglasses while class is in session so they don't get taken away. Invest in a cute bag or backpack to carry your things.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Every school's dress code is different. \\\"Twenty-two states authorize schools and districts to implement dress code and/or uniform policies. In states where no policy exists, it can be assumed that unless explicitly prohibited, schools and districts can require dress codes and/or uniforms.\\\"[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Check the school policy on uniforms and dress codes, and alter it from there.\\n\", \"If you ask directly if something is allowed, it's easier for the teacher to deny your request.\\n\", \"Usually you're allowed 1-2 dress code infractions before you get into any serious trouble. Having the same infraction multiple times is insubordination and usually results in disciplinary action.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,655 | How to Be Cool at a Pool Party | 1. Deciding What to Wear
1-1. Wear what you feel comfortable in to swim.
If you don't feel comfortable in what you're wearing, that will show. Pick something in a color and style you love, and your confidence will shine through. Maybe you love an awesome tankini and shorts, or maybe you like to rock a one piece. Maybe you like short shorts or maybe you prefer board-length shorts. Just pick whatever makes you happy.
Try a bright color to really stand out, such as turquoise or hot pink.
Patterns can also add pizazz to your outfit. You could try polka dots, stripes, or even a funky plaid suit.
You could also go classic and simple with a one-piece black suit.
1-2. Keep makeup simple.
If you want to wear makeup to the pool, keep it simple. Most of it is probably going to wash off anyway, so you might as well go light. Skip the foundation altogether, if you use it, and just go with a primer. Any makeup you wear should obviously be waterproof so it doesn't run all over your face. Try a waterproof mascara and a waterproof lipstick in a light color.
1-3. Go for a messy look with hair.
Once again, if you're getting in the pool, you don't want a super fancy hairdo. You can go for a messy, wavy look by spraying in a texturizer that adds waves. You can also twist your bangs up and then pin them back out of your face. Throw your hair up in a ponytail if that's more your style. If your hair is super short, just go for a wild, natural look, as it will soon be getting wet.
1-4. Wear something besides a bathing suit.
When you arrive and leave, it's best to have something besides just your bathing suit on. Plus, there are likely to be games and food, and you'll want to have some clothes on for that. However, you can keep it simple. Throw on a t-shirt over your swim shorts or a coverup dress over your bathing suit, and you're good to go. Add a pair of cool sandals and shades to complete the look.
2. Acting Cool
2-1. Arrive and leave for ultimate coolness.
While getting to class early will win you points with the teacher, being the first person to a pool party probably won't earn you any cool points. Try arriving just at the party's start time or a few minutes afterwards. Similarly, if you're the last person to leave, you might be perceived as not knowing when it's time to go (uncool), so try leaving when you notice that the party is starting to thin out.
2-2. Be confident.
Nothing is quite as cool as confidence. Confidence just means you believe in yourself and what you can do. At a party, confidence might look like approaching new people, trying a new cannonball, or joining in with the games instead of hanging back on the sidelines.
If you're feeling a bit shy or unsteady, just remind yourself how cool you are. You could say (in your head), "I'm an awesome singer, and people want to be my friend because I'm funny."
2-3. Be yourself.
Being yourself may, at times, seem contradictory to being confident if you're naturally shy. However, it's more an extension of being confident. Cool people are secure in who they are, and they have no problem letting other people see that. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.
For instance, if someone cracks a joke you find funny, giggle to your heart's content. Don't be so shy that you hold back.
2-4. Have fun.
Cool people don't let anything get in the way of having some fun. Get up and dance to the music, or start a cannonball contest. Invite people to have a limbo contest. Just have a good time, and invite others to do the same.
Keep in mind, your fun shouldn't come at anyone else's expense. Don't make fun of people, or create a huge mess or inconvenience.
2-5. Meet new people.
Don't just hang out with your same-old group of friends. Try mingling to meet some new people. If you're a bit shy, take a friend along with you while you mingle. That way, you'll have someone comfortable by your side, but you'll also be meeting new people.
As you wander around the party, look for places you can introduce yourself to new people. When you see an opening, walk up and say, "Hi, I'm Jess. I don't think I've met you before."
Strike up a conversation. You can start with something about the party, such as "It's a great day for a party, don't you think?" or "I really like the decorations. What do you think?"
2-6. Take a break if you need to.
Not everyone is okay being around other people for hours at a time. If you feel like you're getting overwhelmed, look for somewhere to take a quiet break. If you're at someone's house, you can ask if there's somewhere you can sit for a minute. You could say you just want to get out of the sun for a minute.
It's much cooler to take a break than to start getting irritated in the middle of a party because you're tired of people.
3. Dealing with the Essentials
3-1. Bring a gift.
If it's a birthday party, of course it's nice to bring a gift for the birthday person. It doesn't need to be expensive. However, it should be thoughtful, meaning you think about what the person likes and find something they would like. Even if it's not a birthday party, it's nice to bring a gift for the host to say "Thank you!" You'll look cool if you make the host happy. For instance, you could bring a bouquet of flowers or cool gadget.
It's also a good idea to thank the host both when you arrive and when you leave. A simple, "Thank you so much for inviting me!" is all you need.
3-2. Grab a bag for the basics.
You'll probably need a bag for things like a towel, your keys, and your mobile phone. You might also want a change of clothes, and you'll definitely want your sunscreen. A hat might be a good idea, too, just in case you get tired of the sun.
3-3. Slather on the sunscreen.
Burned skin and the possibility of sun cancer are decidedly not cool. If you think wearing sunscreen is "uncool," consider applying it before the party. You can also take a bathroom to reapply it partway through. Use a sunscreen of 30 SPF or higher with broad spectrum protection.
Warnings
Don't get too wild. You want to be a good guest.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deciding What to Wear\\n1-1. Wear what you feel comfortable in to swim.\\nIf you don't feel comfortable in what you're wearing, that will show. Pick something in a color and style you love, and your confidence will shine through. Maybe you love an awesome tankini and shorts, or maybe you like to rock a one piece. Maybe you like short shorts or maybe you prefer board-length shorts. Just pick whatever makes you happy.\\nTry a bright color to really stand out, such as turquoise or hot pink.\\nPatterns can also add pizazz to your outfit. You could try polka dots, stripes, or even a funky plaid suit.\\nYou could also go classic and simple with a one-piece black suit.\\n1-2. Keep makeup simple.\\nIf you want to wear makeup to the pool, keep it simple. Most of it is probably going to wash off anyway, so you might as well go light. Skip the foundation altogether, if you use it, and just go with a primer. Any makeup you wear should obviously be waterproof so it doesn't run all over your face. Try a waterproof mascara and a waterproof lipstick in a light color.\\n1-3. Go for a messy look with hair.\\nOnce again, if you're getting in the pool, you don't want a super fancy hairdo. You can go for a messy, wavy look by spraying in a texturizer that adds waves. You can also twist your bangs up and then pin them back out of your face. Throw your hair up in a ponytail if that's more your style. If your hair is super short, just go for a wild, natural look, as it will soon be getting wet.\\n1-4. Wear something besides a bathing suit.\\nWhen you arrive and leave, it's best to have something besides just your bathing suit on. Plus, there are likely to be games and food, and you'll want to have some clothes on for that. However, you can keep it simple. Throw on a t-shirt over your swim shorts or a coverup dress over your bathing suit, and you're good to go. Add a pair of cool sandals and shades to complete the look.\\n2. Acting Cool\\n2-1. Arrive and leave for ultimate coolness.\\nWhile getting to class early will win you points with the teacher, being the first person to a pool party probably won't earn you any cool points. Try arriving just at the party's start time or a few minutes afterwards. Similarly, if you're the last person to leave, you might be perceived as not knowing when it's time to go (uncool), so try leaving when you notice that the party is starting to thin out.\\n2-2. Be confident.\\nNothing is quite as cool as confidence. Confidence just means you believe in yourself and what you can do. At a party, confidence might look like approaching new people, trying a new cannonball, or joining in with the games instead of hanging back on the sidelines.\\nIf you're feeling a bit shy or unsteady, just remind yourself how cool you are. You could say (in your head), \\\"I'm an awesome singer, and people want to be my friend because I'm funny.\\\"\\n2-3. Be yourself.\\nBeing yourself may, at times, seem contradictory to being confident if you're naturally shy. However, it's more an extension of being confident. Cool people are secure in who they are, and they have no problem letting other people see that. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.\\nFor instance, if someone cracks a joke you find funny, giggle to your heart's content. Don't be so shy that you hold back.\\n2-4. Have fun.\\nCool people don't let anything get in the way of having some fun. Get up and dance to the music, or start a cannonball contest. Invite people to have a limbo contest. Just have a good time, and invite others to do the same.\\nKeep in mind, your fun shouldn't come at anyone else's expense. Don't make fun of people, or create a huge mess or inconvenience.\\n2-5. Meet new people.\\nDon't just hang out with your same-old group of friends. Try mingling to meet some new people. If you're a bit shy, take a friend along with you while you mingle. That way, you'll have someone comfortable by your side, but you'll also be meeting new people.\\nAs you wander around the party, look for places you can introduce yourself to new people. When you see an opening, walk up and say, \\\"Hi, I'm Jess. I don't think I've met you before.\\\"\\nStrike up a conversation. You can start with something about the party, such as \\\"It's a great day for a party, don't you think?\\\" or \\\"I really like the decorations. What do you think?\\\"\\n2-6. Take a break if you need to.\\nNot everyone is okay being around other people for hours at a time. If you feel like you're getting overwhelmed, look for somewhere to take a quiet break. If you're at someone's house, you can ask if there's somewhere you can sit for a minute. You could say you just want to get out of the sun for a minute.\\nIt's much cooler to take a break than to start getting irritated in the middle of a party because you're tired of people.\\n3. Dealing with the Essentials\\n3-1. Bring a gift.\\nIf it's a birthday party, of course it's nice to bring a gift for the birthday person. It doesn't need to be expensive. However, it should be thoughtful, meaning you think about what the person likes and find something they would like. Even if it's not a birthday party, it's nice to bring a gift for the host to say \\\"Thank you!\\\" You'll look cool if you make the host happy. For instance, you could bring a bouquet of flowers or cool gadget.\\nIt's also a good idea to thank the host both when you arrive and when you leave. A simple, \\\"Thank you so much for inviting me!\\\" is all you need.\\n3-2. Grab a bag for the basics.\\nYou'll probably need a bag for things like a towel, your keys, and your mobile phone. You might also want a change of clothes, and you'll definitely want your sunscreen. A hat might be a good idea, too, just in case you get tired of the sun.\\n3-3. Slather on the sunscreen.\\nBurned skin and the possibility of sun cancer are decidedly not cool. If you think wearing sunscreen is \\\"uncool,\\\" consider applying it before the party. You can also take a bathroom to reapply it partway through. Use a sunscreen of 30 SPF or higher with broad spectrum protection.\\nWarnings\\nDon't get too wild. You want to be a good guest.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've been invited to an awesome pool party, and now you totally want to play it cool. Start by deciding what to wear. It's also good to think about how you'll act at the party. For instance, being confident is a cool trait. Also, don't forget the essentials like thanking your host.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deciding What to Wear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear what you feel comfortable in to swim.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't feel comfortable in what you're wearing, that will show. Pick something in a color and style you love, and your confidence will shine through. Maybe you love an awesome tankini and shorts, or maybe you like to rock a one piece. Maybe you like short shorts or maybe you prefer board-length shorts. Just pick whatever makes you happy.\\nTry a bright color to really stand out, such as turquoise or hot pink.\\nPatterns can also add pizazz to your outfit. You could try polka dots, stripes, or even a funky plaid suit.\\nYou could also go classic and simple with a one-piece black suit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep makeup simple.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to wear makeup to the pool, keep it simple. Most of it is probably going to wash off anyway, so you might as well go light. Skip the foundation altogether, if you use it, and just go with a primer. Any makeup you wear should obviously be waterproof so it doesn't run all over your face. Try a waterproof mascara and a waterproof lipstick in a light color.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go for a messy look with hair.\", \"描述\": \"Once again, if you're getting in the pool, you don't want a super fancy hairdo. You can go for a messy, wavy look by spraying in a texturizer that adds waves. You can also twist your bangs up and then pin them back out of your face. Throw your hair up in a ponytail if that's more your style. If your hair is super short, just go for a wild, natural look, as it will soon be getting wet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear something besides a bathing suit.\", \"描述\": \"When you arrive and leave, it's best to have something besides just your bathing suit on. Plus, there are likely to be games and food, and you'll want to have some clothes on for that. However, you can keep it simple. Throw on a t-shirt over your swim shorts or a coverup dress over your bathing suit, and you're good to go. Add a pair of cool sandals and shades to complete the look.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive and leave for ultimate coolness.\", \"描述\": \"While getting to class early will win you points with the teacher, being the first person to a pool party probably won't earn you any cool points. Try arriving just at the party's start time or a few minutes afterwards. Similarly, if you're the last person to leave, you might be perceived as not knowing when it's time to go (uncool), so try leaving when you notice that the party is starting to thin out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing is quite as cool as confidence. Confidence just means you believe in yourself and what you can do. At a party, confidence might look like approaching new people, trying a new cannonball, or joining in with the games instead of hanging back on the sidelines.\\nIf you're feeling a bit shy or unsteady, just remind yourself how cool you are. You could say (in your head), \\\"I'm an awesome singer, and people want to be my friend because I'm funny.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Being yourself may, at times, seem contradictory to being confident if you're naturally shy. However, it's more an extension of being confident. Cool people are secure in who they are, and they have no problem letting other people see that. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.\\nFor instance, if someone cracks a joke you find funny, giggle to your heart's content. Don't be so shy that you hold back.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have fun.\", \"描述\": \"Cool people don't let anything get in the way of having some fun. Get up and dance to the music, or start a cannonball contest. Invite people to have a limbo contest. Just have a good time, and invite others to do the same.\\nKeep in mind, your fun shouldn't come at anyone else's expense. Don't make fun of people, or create a huge mess or inconvenience.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just hang out with your same-old group of friends. Try mingling to meet some new people. If you're a bit shy, take a friend along with you while you mingle. That way, you'll have someone comfortable by your side, but you'll also be meeting new people.\\nAs you wander around the party, look for places you can introduce yourself to new people. When you see an opening, walk up and say, \\\"Hi, I'm Jess. I don't think I've met you before.\\\"\\nStrike up a conversation. You can start with something about the party, such as \\\"It's a great day for a party, don't you think?\\\" or \\\"I really like the decorations. What do you think?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take a break if you need to.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone is okay being around other people for hours at a time. If you feel like you're getting overwhelmed, look for somewhere to take a quiet break. If you're at someone's house, you can ask if there's somewhere you can sit for a minute. You could say you just want to get out of the sun for a minute.\\nIt's much cooler to take a break than to start getting irritated in the middle of a party because you're tired of people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Essentials\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring a gift.\", \"描述\": \"If it's a birthday party, of course it's nice to bring a gift for the birthday person. It doesn't need to be expensive. However, it should be thoughtful, meaning you think about what the person likes and find something they would like. Even if it's not a birthday party, it's nice to bring a gift for the host to say \\\"Thank you!\\\" You'll look cool if you make the host happy. For instance, you could bring a bouquet of flowers or cool gadget.\\nIt's also a good idea to thank the host both when you arrive and when you leave. A simple, \\\"Thank you so much for inviting me!\\\" is all you need.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Grab a bag for the basics.\", \"描述\": \"You'll probably need a bag for things like a towel, your keys, and your mobile phone. You might also want a change of clothes, and you'll definitely want your sunscreen. A hat might be a good idea, too, just in case you get tired of the sun.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Slather on the sunscreen.\", \"描述\": \"Burned skin and the possibility of sun cancer are decidedly not cool. If you think wearing sunscreen is \\\"uncool,\\\" consider applying it before the party. You can also take a bathroom to reapply it partway through. Use a sunscreen of 30 SPF or higher with broad spectrum protection.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't get too wild. You want to be a good guest.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,656 | How to Be Cool in College | 1. Reinventing Yourself in College
1-1. List the things you want to change about yourself.
Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. List the things that you would like to change about yourself in the left column. In the right column write down why you would like to change these things. If after asking why you see that making these changes leads to a better you, then change it.
For example, wanting to be less critical of others, or more focused in class are positive changes.
1-2. Try something new.
College is all about exploring new things and ideas, so be adventurous. When you get the invite to go eat at an exotic restaurant, take it. Studying abroad for one year is another great way to expand your horizons.
Try changing your hair color, or style your hair differently.
You could also learn a new language, or take a class outside of your major.
1-3. Remember to be yourself.
It is possible to re-invent yourself without changing your true self. Don't throw out your morals and values just to be considered cool. If the change takes too much effort or requires you to be someone else, then it probably isn't a good change. Stick to changes that produce positive results.
If you want to be more outgoing, then be more outgoing on your own terms. Don't start drinking or smoking just to be more outgoing, for example.
2. Boosting Your Confidence
2-1. Make a list of your strengths.
Also make a list of the things that you like about yourself. Tape the list to your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror. Every morning, read the list to remind yourself of how great you are.
2-2. Reverse negative thoughts.
If you find yourself thinking that you aren't good enough for college or that no one will want to be friends with you, then reverse these thoughts. Instead, tell yourself, "I am good enough for college," or "Many people would love to be friends with me because I am a great friend."
2-3. Do the things that make you feel confident.
If wearing makeup helps you feel more confident, then wear makeup. If smiling and greeting your classmates makes you feel more confident, then greet them. If joining a club or volunteering helps you feel more confident, then join a club or volunteer.
By doing the things that help you feel more confident, you will be more confident.
2-4. Realize that you are not alone.
New people and places can make you feel alone and unsure at times. However, understand that you aren't the only one who feels this way. Try to reach out and befriend other classmates, or call your high school friends if you need someone to talk to.
If you cannot seem to shake your loneliness, make an appointment with a counselor on campus. A counselor can help you work through hard times.
3. Being Social
3-1. Portray a friendly attitude.
Smile and say hi to your classmates sitting next you. Strike up a conversation by asking them what their major is or what they think about the class. Offering help, like showing someone where the admissions office is, is also a great way to become known as a friendly, down-to-earth person in college.
You could also offer to trade notes with someone, or help someone study for a big test.
3-2. Be accepting those who are different from you.
A typical college has at least 20,000 students, (smaller colleges and community colleges might have anywhere from 2,000-10,000 students) so you are bound to run into someone whose background is completely different from yours. Instead of shying away from them, be curious about who they are. Invite them to lunch or a party to get to know them better.
3-3. Attend a football game (or any other sporting event).
Tailgating with friends and attending a football game (or any other sporting event) afterward is a college pastime you won’t want to pass up. Go to as many of these as you can, especially if you enjoy them. It is a great way to connect with new people and cultivate friendships.
Ask a classmate if they would like to go to a game, or make plans with your roommate to attend a game.
3-4. Join a club on campus.
If football games or Greek life isn’t your thing, try looking into different clubs on campus. Like sororities and fraternities, they typically host events in the beginning of the year to recruit new members. Attend some of these and join your favorite ones.
There are so many clubs in college, the hardest part will be picking one. You can also start a club as well.
3-5. Host a party.
Hosting a party will definitely shoot you up to the top of the cool list. Have a potluck, plan an outdoor party at a nearby park, or reserve a party room at your college’s game center. Invite your friends, roommates, and acquaintances from class.
You could also have a small party in your dorm room, if it is allowed.
To ensure your party’s success, make sure to provide some snacks and beverages, cool tunes, and games.
4. Dressing for College
4-1. Put yourself together before class.
Before going to class, make sure to brush your teeth and comb your hair. Also shower if you need to. By taking the time to groom yourself before class, you can give your classmates and professors a good impression of yourself.
4-2. Choose sneakers over heels.
Going from class to class requires a lot of walking. By wearing sneakers, you can ensure that your feet will be as comfortable as possible. . Some classes will require you to wear certain footwear for practical or safety reasons, especially if you are in some hands-on classes or a PE class. Your instructor/professor will inform you in the syllabus.
4-3. Carry a jacket with you.
Unlike high school, colleges usually don't have locker areas so you will be wearing or carrying a jacket during the winter season in colder climates. Classroom temperatures typically run very cold to sometimes very hot. Since it is hard to concentrate in class if you are cold, make sure to bring a jacket or a sweater with you. This way you can ensure that you will be comfortable and attentive in class.. People will be paying more attention to your outerwear as part of your look in college than in high school; so, make sure the outerwear you choose matches your preferred look.
4-4. Dress with style.
Arrive to class in an outfit that makes you feel comfortable, but also one that sends a message of sophistication and style. If casual athletic gear is your style, then wear that. If a cute dress or skirt makes you feel confident, then wear it.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reinventing Yourself in College\\n1-1. List the things you want to change about yourself.\\nGrab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. List the things that you would like to change about yourself in the left column. In the right column write down why you would like to change these things. If after asking why you see that making these changes leads to a better you, then change it.\\nFor example, wanting to be less critical of others, or more focused in class are positive changes.\\n1-2. Try something new.\\nCollege is all about exploring new things and ideas, so be adventurous. When you get the invite to go eat at an exotic restaurant, take it. Studying abroad for one year is another great way to expand your horizons.\\nTry changing your hair color, or style your hair differently.\\nYou could also learn a new language, or take a class outside of your major.\\n1-3. Remember to be yourself.\\nIt is possible to re-invent yourself without changing your true self. Don't throw out your morals and values just to be considered cool. If the change takes too much effort or requires you to be someone else, then it probably isn't a good change. Stick to changes that produce positive results.\\nIf you want to be more outgoing, then be more outgoing on your own terms. Don't start drinking or smoking just to be more outgoing, for example.\\n2. Boosting Your Confidence\\n2-1. Make a list of your strengths.\\nAlso make a list of the things that you like about yourself. Tape the list to your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror. Every morning, read the list to remind yourself of how great you are.\\n2-2. Reverse negative thoughts.\\nIf you find yourself thinking that you aren't good enough for college or that no one will want to be friends with you, then reverse these thoughts. Instead, tell yourself, \\\"I am good enough for college,\\\" or \\\"Many people would love to be friends with me because I am a great friend.\\\"\\n2-3. Do the things that make you feel confident.\\nIf wearing makeup helps you feel more confident, then wear makeup. If smiling and greeting your classmates makes you feel more confident, then greet them. If joining a club or volunteering helps you feel more confident, then join a club or volunteer.\\nBy doing the things that help you feel more confident, you will be more confident.\\n2-4. Realize that you are not alone.\\nNew people and places can make you feel alone and unsure at times. However, understand that you aren't the only one who feels this way. Try to reach out and befriend other classmates, or call your high school friends if you need someone to talk to.\\nIf you cannot seem to shake your loneliness, make an appointment with a counselor on campus. A counselor can help you work through hard times.\\n3. Being Social\\n3-1. Portray a friendly attitude.\\nSmile and say hi to your classmates sitting next you. Strike up a conversation by asking them what their major is or what they think about the class. Offering help, like showing someone where the admissions office is, is also a great way to become known as a friendly, down-to-earth person in college.\\nYou could also offer to trade notes with someone, or help someone study for a big test.\\n3-2. Be accepting those who are different from you.\\nA typical college has at least 20,000 students, (smaller colleges and community colleges might have anywhere from 2,000-10,000 students) so you are bound to run into someone whose background is completely different from yours. Instead of shying away from them, be curious about who they are. Invite them to lunch or a party to get to know them better.\\n3-3. Attend a football game (or any other sporting event).\\nTailgating with friends and attending a football game (or any other sporting event) afterward is a college pastime you won’t want to pass up. Go to as many of these as you can, especially if you enjoy them. It is a great way to connect with new people and cultivate friendships.\\nAsk a classmate if they would like to go to a game, or make plans with your roommate to attend a game.\\n3-4. Join a club on campus.\\nIf football games or Greek life isn’t your thing, try looking into different clubs on campus. Like sororities and fraternities, they typically host events in the beginning of the year to recruit new members. Attend some of these and join your favorite ones.\\nThere are so many clubs in college, the hardest part will be picking one. You can also start a club as well.\\n3-5. Host a party.\\nHosting a party will definitely shoot you up to the top of the cool list. Have a potluck, plan an outdoor party at a nearby park, or reserve a party room at your college’s game center. Invite your friends, roommates, and acquaintances from class.\\nYou could also have a small party in your dorm room, if it is allowed.\\nTo ensure your party’s success, make sure to provide some snacks and beverages, cool tunes, and games.\\n4. Dressing for College\\n4-1. Put yourself together before class.\\nBefore going to class, make sure to brush your teeth and comb your hair. Also shower if you need to. By taking the time to groom yourself before class, you can give your classmates and professors a good impression of yourself.\\n4-2. Choose sneakers over heels.\\nGoing from class to class requires a lot of walking. By wearing sneakers, you can ensure that your feet will be as comfortable as possible. . Some classes will require you to wear certain footwear for practical or safety reasons, especially if you are in some hands-on classes or a PE class. Your instructor/professor will inform you in the syllabus.\\n4-3. Carry a jacket with you.\\nUnlike high school, colleges usually don't have locker areas so you will be wearing or carrying a jacket during the winter season in colder climates. Classroom temperatures typically run very cold to sometimes very hot. Since it is hard to concentrate in class if you are cold, make sure to bring a jacket or a sweater with you. This way you can ensure that you will be comfortable and attentive in class.. People will be paying more attention to your outerwear as part of your look in college than in high school; so, make sure the outerwear you choose matches your preferred look.\\n4-4. Dress with style.\\nArrive to class in an outfit that makes you feel comfortable, but also one that sends a message of sophistication and style. If casual athletic gear is your style, then wear that. If a cute dress or skirt makes you feel confident, then wear it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Congratulations, you’re in college! If you feel anxious at all about college life, know that you are not alone. To gain instant respect from your fellow classmates and friends, remember to always be yourself. Being friendly and acting confidently are also ways you can earn some cool points among your friends and classmates.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reinventing Yourself in College\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"List the things you want to change about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. List the things that you would like to change about yourself in the left column. In the right column write down why you would like to change these things. If after asking why you see that making these changes leads to a better you, then change it.\\nFor example, wanting to be less critical of others, or more focused in class are positive changes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try something new.\", \"描述\": \"College is all about exploring new things and ideas, so be adventurous. When you get the invite to go eat at an exotic restaurant, take it. Studying abroad for one year is another great way to expand your horizons.\\nTry changing your hair color, or style your hair differently.\\nYou could also learn a new language, or take a class outside of your major.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember to be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It is possible to re-invent yourself without changing your true self. Don't throw out your morals and values just to be considered cool. If the change takes too much effort or requires you to be someone else, then it probably isn't a good change. Stick to changes that produce positive results.\\nIf you want to be more outgoing, then be more outgoing on your own terms. Don't start drinking or smoking just to be more outgoing, for example.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Boosting Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Also make a list of the things that you like about yourself. Tape the list to your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror. Every morning, read the list to remind yourself of how great you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reverse negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself thinking that you aren't good enough for college or that no one will want to be friends with you, then reverse these thoughts. Instead, tell yourself, \\\"I am good enough for college,\\\" or \\\"Many people would love to be friends with me because I am a great friend.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do the things that make you feel confident.\", \"描述\": \"If wearing makeup helps you feel more confident, then wear makeup. If smiling and greeting your classmates makes you feel more confident, then greet them. If joining a club or volunteering helps you feel more confident, then join a club or volunteer.\\nBy doing the things that help you feel more confident, you will be more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Realize that you are not alone.\", \"描述\": \"New people and places can make you feel alone and unsure at times. However, understand that you aren't the only one who feels this way. Try to reach out and befriend other classmates, or call your high school friends if you need someone to talk to.\\nIf you cannot seem to shake your loneliness, make an appointment with a counselor on campus. A counselor can help you work through hard times.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Social\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Portray a friendly attitude.\", \"描述\": \"Smile and say hi to your classmates sitting next you. Strike up a conversation by asking them what their major is or what they think about the class. Offering help, like showing someone where the admissions office is, is also a great way to become known as a friendly, down-to-earth person in college.\\nYou could also offer to trade notes with someone, or help someone study for a big test.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be accepting those who are different from you.\", \"描述\": \"A typical college has at least 20,000 students, (smaller colleges and community colleges might have anywhere from 2,000-10,000 students) so you are bound to run into someone whose background is completely different from yours. Instead of shying away from them, be curious about who they are. Invite them to lunch or a party to get to know them better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend a football game (or any other sporting event).\", \"描述\": \"Tailgating with friends and attending a football game (or any other sporting event) afterward is a college pastime you won’t want to pass up. Go to as many of these as you can, especially if you enjoy them. It is a great way to connect with new people and cultivate friendships.\\nAsk a classmate if they would like to go to a game, or make plans with your roommate to attend a game.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join a club on campus.\", \"描述\": \"If football games or Greek life isn’t your thing, try looking into different clubs on campus. Like sororities and fraternities, they typically host events in the beginning of the year to recruit new members. Attend some of these and join your favorite ones.\\nThere are so many clubs in college, the hardest part will be picking one. You can also start a club as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Host a party.\", \"描述\": \"Hosting a party will definitely shoot you up to the top of the cool list. Have a potluck, plan an outdoor party at a nearby park, or reserve a party room at your college’s game center. Invite your friends, roommates, and acquaintances from class.\\nYou could also have a small party in your dorm room, if it is allowed.\\nTo ensure your party’s success, make sure to provide some snacks and beverages, cool tunes, and games.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dressing for College\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself together before class.\", \"描述\": \"Before going to class, make sure to brush your teeth and comb your hair. Also shower if you need to. By taking the time to groom yourself before class, you can give your classmates and professors a good impression of yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose sneakers over heels.\", \"描述\": \"Going from class to class requires a lot of walking. By wearing sneakers, you can ensure that your feet will be as comfortable as possible. . Some classes will require you to wear certain footwear for practical or safety reasons, especially if you are in some hands-on classes or a PE class. Your instructor/professor will inform you in the syllabus.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Carry a jacket with you.\", \"描述\": \"Unlike high school, colleges usually don't have locker areas so you will be wearing or carrying a jacket during the winter season in colder climates. Classroom temperatures typically run very cold to sometimes very hot. Since it is hard to concentrate in class if you are cold, make sure to bring a jacket or a sweater with you. This way you can ensure that you will be comfortable and attentive in class.. People will be paying more attention to your outerwear as part of your look in college than in high school; so, make sure the outerwear you choose matches your preferred look.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress with style.\", \"描述\": \"Arrive to class in an outfit that makes you feel comfortable, but also one that sends a message of sophistication and style. If casual athletic gear is your style, then wear that. If a cute dress or skirt makes you feel confident, then wear it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,657 | How to Be Cool in High School | 1. Navigating the High School Social Ladder
1-1. Make friends with popular people.
One way to be cool is to become friends with the popular people in school. This helps you start to get recognized by the cool, popular people in school. Once you start hanging around the popular crowd, people will start to know who you are.
Start with a person with lower popularity and work your way up. Starting with people on the lower rungs helps you gain access to the group. Plus, these less popular people may be excited that you are showing them attention. Make their day.
Don't be fake. That is definitely not cool. You want to make good friends, not superficial acquaintances that you will drop. If you get into that habit, people will start to think of you that way. You don't want to hurt your reputation.
1-2. Make friends with many people.
Don't focus so much on one popular clique that you end up not making friends with anyone else. There are a lot of people in your school. Make sure you are nice to everyone! The more people you get to know, the more people you befriend, the more popular and cool you will become.
The first impression always count. Show your true self, and don't try to fake who you really are.
Make friends with people in grades above you and grades below you. Befriend people in different cliques. Get to know the popular kids, but talk to the kids on the soccer team, the drama clique, and the kids with the rock band. Making friends and getting to know a lot of people will help you increase your coolness. It will help get your name out there more.
Making friends with a lot of people can help you figure out which group you want to be part of. Becoming part of a social group, whether it's the jocks, the musicians, the popular kids, or the brains, helps foster a sense of belonging.
1-3. Join clubs.
One way to be cool and increase your popularity is to join clubs. Choose clubs that interest you, like drama club or maybe student council. What clubs are the popular people in? If there are people you want to be friends with, try joining the club they are part of.
Clubs will help you meet people. As you get involved in club activities, like theater productions and student council elections, your name will get out there so people will start recognizing who you are. This helps increase your coolness, because you'll be that guy in the fall production or that girl who won student council secretary.
Don't join a club you will hate being part of just to be friends with someone. You want to be part of things you will enjoy. Don't be a poser because people will be able to tell if you are faking liking something.
Don't join everything. You don't want to spread yourself too thin or be a show off.
1-4. Get involved in sports.
Most high school athletes are automatically cool, just on principle. Think about what sport is cool in your school. Is it lacrosse, soccer, football, or baseball? Try out for the team. Just make sure you are prepared for the dedication and physical exertion. Also make sure you can play the game. You don't want to humiliate yourself at tryouts.
Are all the popular girls cheerleaders? Consider joining cheer leading. If they are all playing field hockey, play field hockey. Make sure to befriend the players once you make the team.
If you are not interested in joining the team, then get involved other ways. Go to home games. Many popular cliques will go to football games on Friday nights. Join them. Get involved with booster clubs and student council pep rallies.
Sports are a great way to make new friends and learn teamwork. They also help keep you in shape and look good on college applications.
1-5. Share your food.
Once you start sitting with people at lunch or hanging out with cool kids, bring food to share with them. This is a way to start a conversation and start interacting with people in a low stress environment.
Keep it simple, though. Don't make cookies. Instead, if you have a bag of chips, offer them up. After you open then, just simply ask, "Want some chips?" Don't make a big deal about it. Keep it simple, keep it cool.
1-6. Go to parties.
Figure out who throws the best parties and go to those parties. Go with a group of friends. If you go alone, then mingle and meet people. Have fun and enjoy yourself while at the parties.
Don't drink and do drugs at parties to be cool. Drugs and drinking underage are illegal. More than that, you don't want to be the sloppy drunk or high person who embarrasses herself. Instead, stay sober so you can act cool and not make a fool of yourself. Plus, it helps you stay out of trouble.
Don't have sex at parties to try to be cool. You should only have sex if you are ready. Having sex with someone because you think they will make you cool can only end in disaster. Instead, flirt with people, date around, and even make out. You just don't want to end up labeled as a player or a slut.
To avoid pressure at parties, try to not to draw attention to yourself when others are doing things you feel uncomfortable with. Walk to another room if you have to. Don't give in and do things that make you feel uncomfortable to fit in with a group.
1-7. Be nice and genuine to people.
Being cool doesn't mean being mean or cruel. Smile at people. Speak to them. Be nice to people who are less cool or in other cliques than yours. When you date people, make sure that you like them. Don't just date people to gain popularity and then dump them. Be a nice, genuine person so people will like you.
1-8. Keep your principles.
When trying to be cool, don't give up your principles. Remember, you've got to live with your choices. Things you do in high school affect your college acceptance and can influence your future. Don't sacrifice what you know feels right just to be cool.
Don't get bad grades. Most cool kids aren't the ones who are failing their classes. Maybe they're not the smartest or the valedictorian, but they get good grades. The cool, popular kids want to go to good colleges because they want good jobs that will make them money. Don't sacrifice your grades to make yourself look good.
Don't get into trouble. Some cool kids understand when to break the rules and when not to. But getting into fights, doing drugs, drinking, and being intentionally rude to teachers is not the way to gain cool points. A lot of cool, popular kids are actually the teacher's pets. This lets them get away with more in their classes because the teachers like them.
2. Adopting a Cool Attitude
2-1. Know that less is more.
The key to being cool is to not try so hard. Cool people don't push; they're not needy. While working on your coolness, try dialing everything back a bit. Don't be too eager or too excitable.
Don't fidget. When talking to people, stay cool, calm, and collected. Don't mess with your hair, adjust your shirt, or bite your lip. Try not to flail your arms around. You want to exude coolness, not nervous energy. Take a deep breath before talking, then speak slowly and deliberately. Try not to say "um" too much.
Be a bit aloof. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't speak to people, be interested when someone speaks, or smile. It just means that you shouldn't wave excitedly when you see the coolest kid in class. Don't run up to someone and starts rambling. Play it cool. Nod your head, smile, and say hello. Remember - less is more.
Don't try too hard to be liked, to be accepted, or to be known. Don't care so much about those things. Leave the obsessing to other people. Keep your focus on staying cool, calm, and collected.
2-2. Don't be the loud, obnoxious kid.
When you walk down the halls, don't scream, yell, or laugh too loud. You don't want to be that person everyone rolls their eyes at because they can hear your conversation all the way down the hall. Talk at a normal volume. When you laugh, don't go overboard. Try not to laugh too loud or snort.
2-3. Be yourself, but don't overdo it.
Being cool is about being yourself. Posers, copycats, and wannabes are never cool. You want to be unique, be yourself, and keep your own interests. However, since you are concerned with coolness, you want to make sure not to go overboard. High school has never been kind to those individuals who are such an individual that they are in their own world. Save that kind of stuff for college.
Unfortunately, this might mean downplaying certain aspects of yourself. Are you into manga, video games, or pop culture? Do you like death metal, goth culture, or veganism? If so, decide how much of your true personality you can share and not alienate your peers. Will they stop talking to you if you talk about manga all the time? Are they going to think you're weird if you start wearing all black?
If you truly want to be cool and fit in, try not to experiment too much. Part of the key for being cool in high school is to be like the majority.
Try to find a balance between being yourself and not pushing your classmates away by things they don't understand.
2-4. Understand that confidence is key.
Think about what most cool people in movies and TV have in common: they are confident. They know they are cool, they like themselves, and they don't need to find validation through other people. Having confidence helps you not try too hard, which is definitely not cool.
Most people don't have an innate confidence. Instead, they fake it. Fake your confidence until you start to believe it.
Have a mantra you repeat to yourself. Say to yourself, "I am awesome/beautiful/kind/smart/funny/etc." Say it in your head, post it in your locker - whatever works for you.
2-5. Use social media wisely.
Sites like Instagram and Twitter can help you increase your cool factor. When using Twitter, don't talk about other people. Instead, make your tweets funny and interesting. Be witty. Don't flood your feed. Instagram can be another great way to garner some cool points and increase your popularity.
Post when you know people are going to be on. Evenings and Sunday afternoons are good times when high schoolers aren't busy doing other things.
Don't post too often. Once again, the idea of less is more is important here. You don't want to flood people's Instagram feed or bore them. You want to intrigue them with your life. Post once or twice a week. Make sure those posts are good ones. Don't just post pictures of your food or your cat.
Post selfies sparingly. Don't be that girl who always posts a selfie with duck face, or the guy who posts a shirtless selfie. Keep the selfies spontaneous, like when you're at a cool place or out with friends.
Follow people. Like their photos, make sure they know who you are so they can follow you back. But make sure your follower-to-follows ratio is about even. You don't want to look like the person who follows everyone but who no one follows back. Unfollow people who refuse to follow you back.
Have fun with Instagram. Post flattering pictures of yourself, pictures where you're doing fun things, and pictures that show you have an interesting life.
2-6. Dress the right way.
Being cool doesn't mean following all the new fashion trends. Instead, take a look around and see what all the cool kids are wearing. What fashions are in style at your school? Shop from the stores the cool kids do and try to emulate their looks.
Don't be a complete fashion copycat. Put your own individual twist onto the outfits. Wear accessories or shoes you want to, get shirts in the color you prefer, or wear styles you feel comfortable in. The key to dressing the right way is feeling comfortable and owning what you wear.
Don't go overboard with fashion. Dress simply. Too many fashion trends in one outfit will make you look like a mess. Instead, opt for one trendy piece with an otherwise simple outfit.
2-7. Have good hygiene.
Being smelly, having dirty hair, and not taking care of yourself is not cool. You don't have to have the perfect body, but you want to take care of yourself. This ensures that you present the best you to your peers.
Take regular showers. You want to make sure that you keep your body clean, along with your hair and face. Brush your teeth before school every morning. Wear deodorant. Don't wear so much cologne and perfume that people can't stand next to you.
Tips
If you happen to make friends with the ‘cool’ kids don’t ruin it by turning into a snob and a try hard and remember to stay cool, calm and collective and just be yourself.
Make sure you don’t use people, just to get into the popular groups. Be yourself. If they don't like you, then that's their problem.
You may be confronted with peer pressure, but if you're straight forward and nice about it when refusing, you can still be accepted.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Navigating the High School Social Ladder\\n1-1. Make friends with popular people.\\nOne way to be cool is to become friends with the popular people in school. This helps you start to get recognized by the cool, popular people in school. Once you start hanging around the popular crowd, people will start to know who you are.\\nStart with a person with lower popularity and work your way up. Starting with people on the lower rungs helps you gain access to the group. Plus, these less popular people may be excited that you are showing them attention. Make their day.\\nDon't be fake. That is definitely not cool. You want to make good friends, not superficial acquaintances that you will drop. If you get into that habit, people will start to think of you that way. You don't want to hurt your reputation.\\n1-2. Make friends with many people.\\nDon't focus so much on one popular clique that you end up not making friends with anyone else. There are a lot of people in your school. Make sure you are nice to everyone! The more people you get to know, the more people you befriend, the more popular and cool you will become.\\nThe first impression always count. Show your true self, and don't try to fake who you really are.\\nMake friends with people in grades above you and grades below you. Befriend people in different cliques. Get to know the popular kids, but talk to the kids on the soccer team, the drama clique, and the kids with the rock band. Making friends and getting to know a lot of people will help you increase your coolness. It will help get your name out there more.\\nMaking friends with a lot of people can help you figure out which group you want to be part of. Becoming part of a social group, whether it's the jocks, the musicians, the popular kids, or the brains, helps foster a sense of belonging.\\n1-3. Join clubs.\\nOne way to be cool and increase your popularity is to join clubs. Choose clubs that interest you, like drama club or maybe student council. What clubs are the popular people in? If there are people you want to be friends with, try joining the club they are part of.\\nClubs will help you meet people. As you get involved in club activities, like theater productions and student council elections, your name will get out there so people will start recognizing who you are. This helps increase your coolness, because you'll be that guy in the fall production or that girl who won student council secretary.\\nDon't join a club you will hate being part of just to be friends with someone. You want to be part of things you will enjoy. Don't be a poser because people will be able to tell if you are faking liking something.\\nDon't join everything. You don't want to spread yourself too thin or be a show off.\\n1-4. Get involved in sports.\\nMost high school athletes are automatically cool, just on principle. Think about what sport is cool in your school. Is it lacrosse, soccer, football, or baseball? Try out for the team. Just make sure you are prepared for the dedication and physical exertion. Also make sure you can play the game. You don't want to humiliate yourself at tryouts.\\nAre all the popular girls cheerleaders? Consider joining cheer leading. If they are all playing field hockey, play field hockey. Make sure to befriend the players once you make the team.\\nIf you are not interested in joining the team, then get involved other ways. Go to home games. Many popular cliques will go to football games on Friday nights. Join them. Get involved with booster clubs and student council pep rallies.\\nSports are a great way to make new friends and learn teamwork. They also help keep you in shape and look good on college applications.\\n1-5. Share your food.\\nOnce you start sitting with people at lunch or hanging out with cool kids, bring food to share with them. This is a way to start a conversation and start interacting with people in a low stress environment.\\nKeep it simple, though. Don't make cookies. Instead, if you have a bag of chips, offer them up. After you open then, just simply ask, \\\"Want some chips?\\\" Don't make a big deal about it. Keep it simple, keep it cool.\\n1-6. Go to parties.\\nFigure out who throws the best parties and go to those parties. Go with a group of friends. If you go alone, then mingle and meet people. Have fun and enjoy yourself while at the parties.\\nDon't drink and do drugs at parties to be cool. Drugs and drinking underage are illegal. More than that, you don't want to be the sloppy drunk or high person who embarrasses herself. Instead, stay sober so you can act cool and not make a fool of yourself. Plus, it helps you stay out of trouble.\\nDon't have sex at parties to try to be cool. You should only have sex if you are ready. Having sex with someone because you think they will make you cool can only end in disaster. Instead, flirt with people, date around, and even make out. You just don't want to end up labeled as a player or a slut.\\nTo avoid pressure at parties, try to not to draw attention to yourself when others are doing things you feel uncomfortable with. Walk to another room if you have to. Don't give in and do things that make you feel uncomfortable to fit in with a group.\\n1-7. Be nice and genuine to people.\\nBeing cool doesn't mean being mean or cruel. Smile at people. Speak to them. Be nice to people who are less cool or in other cliques than yours. When you date people, make sure that you like them. Don't just date people to gain popularity and then dump them. Be a nice, genuine person so people will like you.\\n1-8. Keep your principles.\\nWhen trying to be cool, don't give up your principles. Remember, you've got to live with your choices. Things you do in high school affect your college acceptance and can influence your future. Don't sacrifice what you know feels right just to be cool.\\nDon't get bad grades. Most cool kids aren't the ones who are failing their classes. Maybe they're not the smartest or the valedictorian, but they get good grades. The cool, popular kids want to go to good colleges because they want good jobs that will make them money. Don't sacrifice your grades to make yourself look good.\\nDon't get into trouble. Some cool kids understand when to break the rules and when not to. But getting into fights, doing drugs, drinking, and being intentionally rude to teachers is not the way to gain cool points. A lot of cool, popular kids are actually the teacher's pets. This lets them get away with more in their classes because the teachers like them.\\n2. Adopting a Cool Attitude\\n2-1. Know that less is more.\\nThe key to being cool is to not try so hard. Cool people don't push; they're not needy. While working on your coolness, try dialing everything back a bit. Don't be too eager or too excitable.\\nDon't fidget. When talking to people, stay cool, calm, and collected. Don't mess with your hair, adjust your shirt, or bite your lip. Try not to flail your arms around. You want to exude coolness, not nervous energy. Take a deep breath before talking, then speak slowly and deliberately. Try not to say \\\"um\\\" too much.\\nBe a bit aloof. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't speak to people, be interested when someone speaks, or smile. It just means that you shouldn't wave excitedly when you see the coolest kid in class. Don't run up to someone and starts rambling. Play it cool. Nod your head, smile, and say hello. Remember - less is more.\\nDon't try too hard to be liked, to be accepted, or to be known. Don't care so much about those things. Leave the obsessing to other people. Keep your focus on staying cool, calm, and collected.\\n2-2. Don't be the loud, obnoxious kid.\\nWhen you walk down the halls, don't scream, yell, or laugh too loud. You don't want to be that person everyone rolls their eyes at because they can hear your conversation all the way down the hall. Talk at a normal volume. When you laugh, don't go overboard. Try not to laugh too loud or snort.\\n2-3. Be yourself, but don't overdo it.\\nBeing cool is about being yourself. Posers, copycats, and wannabes are never cool. You want to be unique, be yourself, and keep your own interests. However, since you are concerned with coolness, you want to make sure not to go overboard. High school has never been kind to those individuals who are such an individual that they are in their own world. Save that kind of stuff for college.\\nUnfortunately, this might mean downplaying certain aspects of yourself. Are you into manga, video games, or pop culture? Do you like death metal, goth culture, or veganism? If so, decide how much of your true personality you can share and not alienate your peers. Will they stop talking to you if you talk about manga all the time? Are they going to think you're weird if you start wearing all black?\\nIf you truly want to be cool and fit in, try not to experiment too much. Part of the key for being cool in high school is to be like the majority.\\nTry to find a balance between being yourself and not pushing your classmates away by things they don't understand.\\n2-4. Understand that confidence is key.\\nThink about what most cool people in movies and TV have in common: they are confident. They know they are cool, they like themselves, and they don't need to find validation through other people. Having confidence helps you not try too hard, which is definitely not cool.\\nMost people don't have an innate confidence. Instead, they fake it. Fake your confidence until you start to believe it.\\nHave a mantra you repeat to yourself. Say to yourself, \\\"I am awesome/beautiful/kind/smart/funny/etc.\\\" Say it in your head, post it in your locker - whatever works for you.\\n2-5. Use social media wisely.\\nSites like Instagram and Twitter can help you increase your cool factor. When using Twitter, don't talk about other people. Instead, make your tweets funny and interesting. Be witty. Don't flood your feed. Instagram can be another great way to garner some cool points and increase your popularity.\\nPost when you know people are going to be on. Evenings and Sunday afternoons are good times when high schoolers aren't busy doing other things.\\nDon't post too often. Once again, the idea of less is more is important here. You don't want to flood people's Instagram feed or bore them. You want to intrigue them with your life. Post once or twice a week. Make sure those posts are good ones. Don't just post pictures of your food or your cat.\\nPost selfies sparingly. Don't be that girl who always posts a selfie with duck face, or the guy who posts a shirtless selfie. Keep the selfies spontaneous, like when you're at a cool place or out with friends.\\nFollow people. Like their photos, make sure they know who you are so they can follow you back. But make sure your follower-to-follows ratio is about even. You don't want to look like the person who follows everyone but who no one follows back. Unfollow people who refuse to follow you back.\\nHave fun with Instagram. Post flattering pictures of yourself, pictures where you're doing fun things, and pictures that show you have an interesting life.\\n2-6. Dress the right way.\\nBeing cool doesn't mean following all the new fashion trends. Instead, take a look around and see what all the cool kids are wearing. What fashions are in style at your school? Shop from the stores the cool kids do and try to emulate their looks.\\nDon't be a complete fashion copycat. Put your own individual twist onto the outfits. Wear accessories or shoes you want to, get shirts in the color you prefer, or wear styles you feel comfortable in. The key to dressing the right way is feeling comfortable and owning what you wear.\\nDon't go overboard with fashion. Dress simply. Too many fashion trends in one outfit will make you look like a mess. Instead, opt for one trendy piece with an otherwise simple outfit.\\n2-7. Have good hygiene.\\nBeing smelly, having dirty hair, and not taking care of yourself is not cool. You don't have to have the perfect body, but you want to take care of yourself. This ensures that you present the best you to your peers.\\nTake regular showers. You want to make sure that you keep your body clean, along with your hair and face. Brush your teeth before school every morning. Wear deodorant. Don't wear so much cologne and perfume that people can't stand next to you.\\nTips\\nIf you happen to make friends with the ‘cool’ kids don’t ruin it by turning into a snob and a try hard and remember to stay cool, calm and collective and just be yourself.\\nMake sure you don’t use people, just to get into the popular groups. Be yourself. If they don't like you, then that's their problem.\\nYou may be confronted with peer pressure, but if you're straight forward and nice about it when refusing, you can still be accepted.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to be really cool in high school? Some think people are born cool - but that's just not true. You can learn to be cool, and fake it until you learn. Learn a few cool strategies so you can figure out how to be cool while in high school.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Navigating the High School Social Ladder\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make friends with popular people.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be cool is to become friends with the popular people in school. This helps you start to get recognized by the cool, popular people in school. Once you start hanging around the popular crowd, people will start to know who you are.\\nStart with a person with lower popularity and work your way up. Starting with people on the lower rungs helps you gain access to the group. Plus, these less popular people may be excited that you are showing them attention. Make their day.\\nDon't be fake. That is definitely not cool. You want to make good friends, not superficial acquaintances that you will drop. If you get into that habit, people will start to think of you that way. You don't want to hurt your reputation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make friends with many people.\", \"描述\": \"Don't focus so much on one popular clique that you end up not making friends with anyone else. There are a lot of people in your school. Make sure you are nice to everyone! The more people you get to know, the more people you befriend, the more popular and cool you will become.\\nThe first impression always count. Show your true self, and don't try to fake who you really are.\\nMake friends with people in grades above you and grades below you. Befriend people in different cliques. Get to know the popular kids, but talk to the kids on the soccer team, the drama clique, and the kids with the rock band. Making friends and getting to know a lot of people will help you increase your coolness. It will help get your name out there more.\\nMaking friends with a lot of people can help you figure out which group you want to be part of. Becoming part of a social group, whether it's the jocks, the musicians, the popular kids, or the brains, helps foster a sense of belonging.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join clubs.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be cool and increase your popularity is to join clubs. Choose clubs that interest you, like drama club or maybe student council. What clubs are the popular people in? If there are people you want to be friends with, try joining the club they are part of.\\nClubs will help you meet people. As you get involved in club activities, like theater productions and student council elections, your name will get out there so people will start recognizing who you are. This helps increase your coolness, because you'll be that guy in the fall production or that girl who won student council secretary.\\nDon't join a club you will hate being part of just to be friends with someone. You want to be part of things you will enjoy. Don't be a poser because people will be able to tell if you are faking liking something.\\nDon't join everything. You don't want to spread yourself too thin or be a show off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get involved in sports.\", \"描述\": \"Most high school athletes are automatically cool, just on principle. Think about what sport is cool in your school. Is it lacrosse, soccer, football, or baseball? Try out for the team. Just make sure you are prepared for the dedication and physical exertion. Also make sure you can play the game. You don't want to humiliate yourself at tryouts.\\nAre all the popular girls cheerleaders? Consider joining cheer leading. If they are all playing field hockey, play field hockey. Make sure to befriend the players once you make the team.\\nIf you are not interested in joining the team, then get involved other ways. Go to home games. Many popular cliques will go to football games on Friday nights. Join them. Get involved with booster clubs and student council pep rallies.\\nSports are a great way to make new friends and learn teamwork. They also help keep you in shape and look good on college applications.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Share your food.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start sitting with people at lunch or hanging out with cool kids, bring food to share with them. This is a way to start a conversation and start interacting with people in a low stress environment.\\nKeep it simple, though. Don't make cookies. Instead, if you have a bag of chips, offer them up. After you open then, just simply ask, \\\"Want some chips?\\\" Don't make a big deal about it. Keep it simple, keep it cool.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go to parties.\", \"描述\": \"Figure out who throws the best parties and go to those parties. Go with a group of friends. If you go alone, then mingle and meet people. Have fun and enjoy yourself while at the parties.\\nDon't drink and do drugs at parties to be cool. Drugs and drinking underage are illegal. More than that, you don't want to be the sloppy drunk or high person who embarrasses herself. Instead, stay sober so you can act cool and not make a fool of yourself. Plus, it helps you stay out of trouble.\\nDon't have sex at parties to try to be cool. You should only have sex if you are ready. Having sex with someone because you think they will make you cool can only end in disaster. Instead, flirt with people, date around, and even make out. You just don't want to end up labeled as a player or a slut.\\nTo avoid pressure at parties, try to not to draw attention to yourself when others are doing things you feel uncomfortable with. Walk to another room if you have to. Don't give in and do things that make you feel uncomfortable to fit in with a group.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be nice and genuine to people.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool doesn't mean being mean or cruel. Smile at people. Speak to them. Be nice to people who are less cool or in other cliques than yours. When you date people, make sure that you like them. Don't just date people to gain popularity and then dump them. Be a nice, genuine person so people will like you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep your principles.\", \"描述\": \"When trying to be cool, don't give up your principles. Remember, you've got to live with your choices. Things you do in high school affect your college acceptance and can influence your future. Don't sacrifice what you know feels right just to be cool.\\nDon't get bad grades. Most cool kids aren't the ones who are failing their classes. Maybe they're not the smartest or the valedictorian, but they get good grades. The cool, popular kids want to go to good colleges because they want good jobs that will make them money. Don't sacrifice your grades to make yourself look good.\\nDon't get into trouble. Some cool kids understand when to break the rules and when not to. But getting into fights, doing drugs, drinking, and being intentionally rude to teachers is not the way to gain cool points. A lot of cool, popular kids are actually the teacher's pets. This lets them get away with more in their classes because the teachers like them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopting a Cool Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know that less is more.\", \"描述\": \"The key to being cool is to not try so hard. Cool people don't push; they're not needy. While working on your coolness, try dialing everything back a bit. Don't be too eager or too excitable.\\nDon't fidget. When talking to people, stay cool, calm, and collected. Don't mess with your hair, adjust your shirt, or bite your lip. Try not to flail your arms around. You want to exude coolness, not nervous energy. Take a deep breath before talking, then speak slowly and deliberately. Try not to say \\\"um\\\" too much.\\nBe a bit aloof. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't speak to people, be interested when someone speaks, or smile. It just means that you shouldn't wave excitedly when you see the coolest kid in class. Don't run up to someone and starts rambling. Play it cool. Nod your head, smile, and say hello. Remember - less is more.\\nDon't try too hard to be liked, to be accepted, or to be known. Don't care so much about those things. Leave the obsessing to other people. Keep your focus on staying cool, calm, and collected.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't be the loud, obnoxious kid.\", \"描述\": \"When you walk down the halls, don't scream, yell, or laugh too loud. You don't want to be that person everyone rolls their eyes at because they can hear your conversation all the way down the hall. Talk at a normal volume. When you laugh, don't go overboard. Try not to laugh too loud or snort.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself, but don't overdo it.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool is about being yourself. Posers, copycats, and wannabes are never cool. You want to be unique, be yourself, and keep your own interests. However, since you are concerned with coolness, you want to make sure not to go overboard. High school has never been kind to those individuals who are such an individual that they are in their own world. Save that kind of stuff for college.\\nUnfortunately, this might mean downplaying certain aspects of yourself. Are you into manga, video games, or pop culture? Do you like death metal, goth culture, or veganism? If so, decide how much of your true personality you can share and not alienate your peers. Will they stop talking to you if you talk about manga all the time? Are they going to think you're weird if you start wearing all black?\\nIf you truly want to be cool and fit in, try not to experiment too much. Part of the key for being cool in high school is to be like the majority.\\nTry to find a balance between being yourself and not pushing your classmates away by things they don't understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand that confidence is key.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what most cool people in movies and TV have in common: they are confident. They know they are cool, they like themselves, and they don't need to find validation through other people. Having confidence helps you not try too hard, which is definitely not cool.\\nMost people don't have an innate confidence. Instead, they fake it. Fake your confidence until you start to believe it.\\nHave a mantra you repeat to yourself. Say to yourself, \\\"I am awesome/beautiful/kind/smart/funny/etc.\\\" Say it in your head, post it in your locker - whatever works for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use social media wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Sites like Instagram and Twitter can help you increase your cool factor. When using Twitter, don't talk about other people. Instead, make your tweets funny and interesting. Be witty. Don't flood your feed. Instagram can be another great way to garner some cool points and increase your popularity.\\nPost when you know people are going to be on. Evenings and Sunday afternoons are good times when high schoolers aren't busy doing other things.\\nDon't post too often. Once again, the idea of less is more is important here. You don't want to flood people's Instagram feed or bore them. You want to intrigue them with your life. Post once or twice a week. Make sure those posts are good ones. Don't just post pictures of your food or your cat.\\nPost selfies sparingly. Don't be that girl who always posts a selfie with duck face, or the guy who posts a shirtless selfie. Keep the selfies spontaneous, like when you're at a cool place or out with friends.\\nFollow people. Like their photos, make sure they know who you are so they can follow you back. But make sure your follower-to-follows ratio is about even. You don't want to look like the person who follows everyone but who no one follows back. Unfollow people who refuse to follow you back.\\nHave fun with Instagram. Post flattering pictures of yourself, pictures where you're doing fun things, and pictures that show you have an interesting life.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dress the right way.\", \"描述\": \"Being cool doesn't mean following all the new fashion trends. Instead, take a look around and see what all the cool kids are wearing. What fashions are in style at your school? Shop from the stores the cool kids do and try to emulate their looks.\\nDon't be a complete fashion copycat. Put your own individual twist onto the outfits. Wear accessories or shoes you want to, get shirts in the color you prefer, or wear styles you feel comfortable in. The key to dressing the right way is feeling comfortable and owning what you wear.\\nDon't go overboard with fashion. Dress simply. Too many fashion trends in one outfit will make you look like a mess. Instead, opt for one trendy piece with an otherwise simple outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Being smelly, having dirty hair, and not taking care of yourself is not cool. You don't have to have the perfect body, but you want to take care of yourself. This ensures that you present the best you to your peers.\\nTake regular showers. You want to make sure that you keep your body clean, along with your hair and face. Brush your teeth before school every morning. Wear deodorant. Don't wear so much cologne and perfume that people can't stand next to you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you happen to make friends with the ‘cool’ kids don’t ruin it by turning into a snob and a try hard and remember to stay cool, calm and collective and just be yourself.\\n\", \"Make sure you don’t use people, just to get into the popular groups. Be yourself. If they don't like you, then that's their problem.\\n\", \"You may be confronted with peer pressure, but if you're straight forward and nice about it when refusing, you can still be accepted.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,658 | How to Be Cool in Middle School | 1. Looking Cool
1-1. Take good care of your personal hygiene.
If you want to be cool in middle school, you need to pay attention to how you look and smell. To make sure you're always fresh and clean, brush your teeth and wash your face every morning and night, shower or bathe every day, and put on a combination antiperspirant and deodorant after you get out of the bath.
An antiperspirant helps reduce how much you sweat, while a deodorant helps prevent body odors from forming.
Shampoo your hair every 2-3 days, or more often if it starts to look oily between washes.
In addition to brushing twice a day, you should also floss your teeth every night to remove plaque that can lead to problems like bad breath or cavities.
1-2. Style your hair each day.
Having a great hairstyle instantly makes you look cooler, but looking nice usually takes at least a little work. Every morning when you're getting ready, spend a few minutes taking care of your hair. Depending on your style, that might just mean combing your hair or smoothing it out with your fingers, or it might mean wearing your hair up or adding hair accessories.
You can use styling products like gel, mousse, or salt spray to help you style your hair, but remember to only use a little bit of product or your hair will look wet and greasy.
If you have a hair straightener or a curling iron, you can use these tools to style your hair each day. However, heat can be very damaging to your hair, so it's best to wear your hair in its natural texture at least some of the time.
When you get your hair cut or trimmed, ask your stylist to help you find a hairstyle that will suit your face. If you're not sure how to style your new cut, ask the stylist to show you before you leave!
1-3. Wear clean clothes that fit well.
Whether you have to wear a uniform or you can wear your own clothes to school, if you want to be cool, you should wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. Also, for the most flattering fit, choose clothes that skim loosely across your body without being too tight or too baggy.
Dirty clothes can smell bad, and wrinkles will make you look sloppy.
If you can wear your own clothes to school, keep it casual most days by wearing jeans or shorts and a T-shirt. In cool weather, add a hoodie or a sweater to keep warm.
If you want to dress up, like if you have to give a presentation in front of your class, try wearing khaki pants and a button-down or collared shirt. If you have a more feminine style, you might wear a dress, instead.
1-4. Add trendy accessories to your outfit.
Accessories are an easy way to make an outfit cooler. When you're shopping for clothing, check out the accessories as well, and look for pieces that you feel reflect your personality. Then when you get dressed every day, pick 1 or 2 accessories that match what you're wearing.
Try adding a canvas belt and cool sneakers to make jeans and a T-shirt look more interesting.
If you wear a uniform, you might show your style with a stylish bracelet, watch, necklace, scarf, colorful socks, or a fun belt. Just make sure it follows your school's dress code!
Look at your favorite celebrities and style icons for outfit and accessory ideas.
1-5. Wear light makeup if you wear any.
A lot of kids start experimenting with makeup in middle school for the very first time. You can use concealer, powder, and blush to smooth out or brighten your complexion. If you want to define your eyes, lightly line your eyes with eyeliner and apply a little eyeshadow to your eyelids. Then, try a light coat of mascara on your lashes.
As you're experimenting with makeup, keep in mind that usually, the more natural you look, the better.
If you look like you're trying too hard to change your appearance, you might seem like you're not self-confident. Remember, if you want other people to think you're cool, first, they have to believe that YOU think you're cool!
2. Making Friends
2-1. Be friendly to people from different social groups.
While it might seem like the only way to be cool is to hang out with the most popular kids you can find, the truth is, being really cool means being friends with a lot of different kinds of people. Take the time to get to know each person you meet, no matter what clique they're a part of. Then, befriend the people you like the most.
Being cool is about more than just being popular. Popularity can change overnight and is based on the opinion of others, while being cool means staying true to yourself no matter who else is around.
2-2. Avoid gossip
If someone starts talking bad about another person while you're around, either ask them to stop, ignore the conversation entirely, or walk away. You'll seem a lot cooler if you're too laid-back to get involved in rumors and other drama.
Be careful what you say about other people, too, so you're not unintentionally the source of any rumors yourself. For instance, if your friend tells you in confidence that her parents are getting a divorce, don't share that information with anyone else.
2-3. Spend time around people who build you up.
Unfortunately, in middle school, you might run into people who are unkind. If you spend time around someone and they put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, try to avoid them as much as possible. Instead, hang out with friends who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself.
If you're frequently the target of teasing or physical aggression, tell a teacher or another adult, and stick close to other students as much as possible to help make yourself less of a target. If you need to, find someone who's sitting alone and say something like, “Those kids over there keep messing with me. Is it okay if I sit here for a few minutes so they'll leave me alone?”
2-4. Don't bully people to try to get attention.
Some people think that teasing other kids will make them seem cool, but this isn't true. Even if you're a victim of bullying yourself, avoid taking it out on someone who's less popular than you are. Instead, be a friend to those who are being bullied and talk in ways that will make them feel better. Being kind to everyone will make people look up to you, which will make you seem cooler.
If you see bullying happening at your school, stand up straight, look the bully in the eyes, and tell them to stop. If you're concerned that this will put you in physical danger, report the incident to a teacher, parent, or another responsible adult instead.
2-5. Have a good sense of humor.
If you want people to think you're cool, try being funny! Be willing to laugh at yourself, even if you make a mistake. Also, laugh with your friends when they're being funny, and share funny memes or jokes that you come across.
For instance, if you spill something on your shirt at lunch, don't get upset about it. Just start laughing, instead! More than likely, other people will laugh with you—which is way more fun than having people laugh at you!
3. Building a Good Reputation
3-1. Do your best in school.
If you want to have a good reputation in middle school, pay attention and try to do well in every class you're in, even if it's something that doesn't come easily to you. Do your homework and turn in all of your assignments, and try not to daydream when the teacher is giving your lessons.
Being cool doesn't mean skipping school and failing tests, although you don't necessarily have to have the highest grade in your class, either. If you make a habit of breaking the rules, though, you'll have a reputation as a troublemaker, rather than a reputation for being cool.
As a bonus, paying close attention in class might make your after-school assignments easier to finish, so you'll have more time to spend with your friends!
3-2. Embrace what makes you an individual.
The coolest people always seem to be the ones who have a great understanding of who they are. Think about what makes you unique—maybe you have a cool eye for fashion, are great at drawing, or you can run really fast. Then, look for ways to express those qualities.
For instance, you might always wear unique, funky outfits if you're into fashion, you might draw illustrations for the school paper if you love art, or you might try out for the track team if you're a runner.
3-3. Use social media thoughtfully.
When you're just starting to use social media, it can be hard to know how to use it without oversharing. Just remember that you can't take anything back once it's online, so keep your most personal business private, and don't share any pictures online that you would be embarrassed for everyone to see.
Also, don't share or post unkind comments about anyone, especially if you wouldn't say those things to that person's face. Internet bullying can be very hurtful, and it won't make you seem cooler.
If you see online bullying, do your best to ignore it, even if it's directed at you. However, you can report the bullying, either online or to a parent or teacher.
3-4. Pay attention to trends.
Keeping up with trends can help you seem like you know what's cool, so when you see a trend you like on TV, online, or at school, don't be afraid to try it out. You don't have to follow every trend that's out there—that will make you seem unoriginal. Just pick the ones you really like!
For instance, if you see your favorite celebrity wearing an awesome pair of sunglasses, you might look for a similar pair when you go shopping.
If a lot of your friends wear baggy jeans, you might look for a pair of relaxed-fit jeans. However, going against trends can make you seem cool too, so if you want to wear skinny jeans instead, go for it!
3-5. Join a club or team at your school.
If it's possible, try to find clubs, sports, competitive teams, or other activities at your school that fit your personal interests or hobbies. Getting involved in after-school activities can be a great way to expand your social circle. Also, if you're busy with activities, you'll seem cooler than you would if you just went home every day.
For instance, if you're athletic, you might try out for your school's soccer, baseball, cheerleading, or dance team. If you love music, you might join the band or choir. If you're really great at math or science, you might join the robotics team.
Don't join a club you don't really like just because you think it will be cool. For instance, if you're not into sports, cheerleading probably isn't a good fit for you, even if that seems like a good way to get popular.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Cool\\n1-1. Take good care of your personal hygiene.\\nIf you want to be cool in middle school, you need to pay attention to how you look and smell. To make sure you're always fresh and clean, brush your teeth and wash your face every morning and night, shower or bathe every day, and put on a combination antiperspirant and deodorant after you get out of the bath.\\nAn antiperspirant helps reduce how much you sweat, while a deodorant helps prevent body odors from forming.\\nShampoo your hair every 2-3 days, or more often if it starts to look oily between washes.\\nIn addition to brushing twice a day, you should also floss your teeth every night to remove plaque that can lead to problems like bad breath or cavities.\\n1-2. Style your hair each day.\\nHaving a great hairstyle instantly makes you look cooler, but looking nice usually takes at least a little work. Every morning when you're getting ready, spend a few minutes taking care of your hair. Depending on your style, that might just mean combing your hair or smoothing it out with your fingers, or it might mean wearing your hair up or adding hair accessories.\\nYou can use styling products like gel, mousse, or salt spray to help you style your hair, but remember to only use a little bit of product or your hair will look wet and greasy.\\nIf you have a hair straightener or a curling iron, you can use these tools to style your hair each day. However, heat can be very damaging to your hair, so it's best to wear your hair in its natural texture at least some of the time.\\nWhen you get your hair cut or trimmed, ask your stylist to help you find a hairstyle that will suit your face. If you're not sure how to style your new cut, ask the stylist to show you before you leave!\\n1-3. Wear clean clothes that fit well.\\nWhether you have to wear a uniform or you can wear your own clothes to school, if you want to be cool, you should wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. Also, for the most flattering fit, choose clothes that skim loosely across your body without being too tight or too baggy.\\nDirty clothes can smell bad, and wrinkles will make you look sloppy.\\nIf you can wear your own clothes to school, keep it casual most days by wearing jeans or shorts and a T-shirt. In cool weather, add a hoodie or a sweater to keep warm.\\nIf you want to dress up, like if you have to give a presentation in front of your class, try wearing khaki pants and a button-down or collared shirt. If you have a more feminine style, you might wear a dress, instead.\\n1-4. Add trendy accessories to your outfit.\\nAccessories are an easy way to make an outfit cooler. When you're shopping for clothing, check out the accessories as well, and look for pieces that you feel reflect your personality. Then when you get dressed every day, pick 1 or 2 accessories that match what you're wearing.\\nTry adding a canvas belt and cool sneakers to make jeans and a T-shirt look more interesting.\\nIf you wear a uniform, you might show your style with a stylish bracelet, watch, necklace, scarf, colorful socks, or a fun belt. Just make sure it follows your school's dress code!\\nLook at your favorite celebrities and style icons for outfit and accessory ideas.\\n1-5. Wear light makeup if you wear any.\\nA lot of kids start experimenting with makeup in middle school for the very first time. You can use concealer, powder, and blush to smooth out or brighten your complexion. If you want to define your eyes, lightly line your eyes with eyeliner and apply a little eyeshadow to your eyelids. Then, try a light coat of mascara on your lashes.\\nAs you're experimenting with makeup, keep in mind that usually, the more natural you look, the better.\\nIf you look like you're trying too hard to change your appearance, you might seem like you're not self-confident. Remember, if you want other people to think you're cool, first, they have to believe that YOU think you're cool!\\n2. Making Friends\\n2-1. Be friendly to people from different social groups.\\nWhile it might seem like the only way to be cool is to hang out with the most popular kids you can find, the truth is, being really cool means being friends with a lot of different kinds of people. Take the time to get to know each person you meet, no matter what clique they're a part of. Then, befriend the people you like the most.\\nBeing cool is about more than just being popular. Popularity can change overnight and is based on the opinion of others, while being cool means staying true to yourself no matter who else is around.\\n2-2. Avoid gossip\\nIf someone starts talking bad about another person while you're around, either ask them to stop, ignore the conversation entirely, or walk away. You'll seem a lot cooler if you're too laid-back to get involved in rumors and other drama.\\nBe careful what you say about other people, too, so you're not unintentionally the source of any rumors yourself. For instance, if your friend tells you in confidence that her parents are getting a divorce, don't share that information with anyone else.\\n2-3. Spend time around people who build you up.\\nUnfortunately, in middle school, you might run into people who are unkind. If you spend time around someone and they put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, try to avoid them as much as possible. Instead, hang out with friends who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself.\\nIf you're frequently the target of teasing or physical aggression, tell a teacher or another adult, and stick close to other students as much as possible to help make yourself less of a target. If you need to, find someone who's sitting alone and say something like, “Those kids over there keep messing with me. Is it okay if I sit here for a few minutes so they'll leave me alone?”\\n2-4. Don't bully people to try to get attention.\\nSome people think that teasing other kids will make them seem cool, but this isn't true. Even if you're a victim of bullying yourself, avoid taking it out on someone who's less popular than you are. Instead, be a friend to those who are being bullied and talk in ways that will make them feel better. Being kind to everyone will make people look up to you, which will make you seem cooler.\\nIf you see bullying happening at your school, stand up straight, look the bully in the eyes, and tell them to stop. If you're concerned that this will put you in physical danger, report the incident to a teacher, parent, or another responsible adult instead.\\n2-5. Have a good sense of humor.\\nIf you want people to think you're cool, try being funny! Be willing to laugh at yourself, even if you make a mistake. Also, laugh with your friends when they're being funny, and share funny memes or jokes that you come across.\\nFor instance, if you spill something on your shirt at lunch, don't get upset about it. Just start laughing, instead! More than likely, other people will laugh with you—which is way more fun than having people laugh at you!\\n3. Building a Good Reputation\\n3-1. Do your best in school.\\nIf you want to have a good reputation in middle school, pay attention and try to do well in every class you're in, even if it's something that doesn't come easily to you. Do your homework and turn in all of your assignments, and try not to daydream when the teacher is giving your lessons.\\nBeing cool doesn't mean skipping school and failing tests, although you don't necessarily have to have the highest grade in your class, either. If you make a habit of breaking the rules, though, you'll have a reputation as a troublemaker, rather than a reputation for being cool.\\nAs a bonus, paying close attention in class might make your after-school assignments easier to finish, so you'll have more time to spend with your friends!\\n3-2. Embrace what makes you an individual.\\nThe coolest people always seem to be the ones who have a great understanding of who they are. Think about what makes you unique—maybe you have a cool eye for fashion, are great at drawing, or you can run really fast. Then, look for ways to express those qualities.\\nFor instance, you might always wear unique, funky outfits if you're into fashion, you might draw illustrations for the school paper if you love art, or you might try out for the track team if you're a runner.\\n3-3. Use social media thoughtfully.\\nWhen you're just starting to use social media, it can be hard to know how to use it without oversharing. Just remember that you can't take anything back once it's online, so keep your most personal business private, and don't share any pictures online that you would be embarrassed for everyone to see.\\nAlso, don't share or post unkind comments about anyone, especially if you wouldn't say those things to that person's face. Internet bullying can be very hurtful, and it won't make you seem cooler.\\nIf you see online bullying, do your best to ignore it, even if it's directed at you. However, you can report the bullying, either online or to a parent or teacher.\\n3-4. Pay attention to trends.\\nKeeping up with trends can help you seem like you know what's cool, so when you see a trend you like on TV, online, or at school, don't be afraid to try it out. You don't have to follow every trend that's out there—that will make you seem unoriginal. Just pick the ones you really like!\\nFor instance, if you see your favorite celebrity wearing an awesome pair of sunglasses, you might look for a similar pair when you go shopping.\\nIf a lot of your friends wear baggy jeans, you might look for a pair of relaxed-fit jeans. However, going against trends can make you seem cool too, so if you want to wear skinny jeans instead, go for it!\\n3-5. Join a club or team at your school.\\nIf it's possible, try to find clubs, sports, competitive teams, or other activities at your school that fit your personal interests or hobbies. Getting involved in after-school activities can be a great way to expand your social circle. Also, if you're busy with activities, you'll seem cooler than you would if you just went home every day.\\nFor instance, if you're athletic, you might try out for your school's soccer, baseball, cheerleading, or dance team. If you love music, you might join the band or choir. If you're really great at math or science, you might join the robotics team.\\nDon't join a club you don't really like just because you think it will be cool. For instance, if you're not into sports, cheerleading probably isn't a good fit for you, even if that seems like a good way to get popular.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Middle school is a time when you start to really find yourself as an individual, so it only makes sense that you'd want to be cool! Luckily, if you embrace what makes you unique, you're already cool. From there, just take a little time each day to check your appearance, build a group of supportive friends, and get involved at school if you want other people to think you're cool, too!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Cool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take good care of your personal hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be cool in middle school, you need to pay attention to how you look and smell. To make sure you're always fresh and clean, brush your teeth and wash your face every morning and night, shower or bathe every day, and put on a combination antiperspirant and deodorant after you get out of the bath.\\nAn antiperspirant helps reduce how much you sweat, while a deodorant helps prevent body odors from forming.\\nShampoo your hair every 2-3 days, or more often if it starts to look oily between washes.\\nIn addition to brushing twice a day, you should also floss your teeth every night to remove plaque that can lead to problems like bad breath or cavities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Style your hair each day.\", \"描述\": \"Having a great hairstyle instantly makes you look cooler, but looking nice usually takes at least a little work. Every morning when you're getting ready, spend a few minutes taking care of your hair. Depending on your style, that might just mean combing your hair or smoothing it out with your fingers, or it might mean wearing your hair up or adding hair accessories.\\nYou can use styling products like gel, mousse, or salt spray to help you style your hair, but remember to only use a little bit of product or your hair will look wet and greasy.\\nIf you have a hair straightener or a curling iron, you can use these tools to style your hair each day. However, heat can be very damaging to your hair, so it's best to wear your hair in its natural texture at least some of the time.\\nWhen you get your hair cut or trimmed, ask your stylist to help you find a hairstyle that will suit your face. If you're not sure how to style your new cut, ask the stylist to show you before you leave!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear clean clothes that fit well.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you have to wear a uniform or you can wear your own clothes to school, if you want to be cool, you should wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. Also, for the most flattering fit, choose clothes that skim loosely across your body without being too tight or too baggy.\\nDirty clothes can smell bad, and wrinkles will make you look sloppy.\\nIf you can wear your own clothes to school, keep it casual most days by wearing jeans or shorts and a T-shirt. In cool weather, add a hoodie or a sweater to keep warm.\\nIf you want to dress up, like if you have to give a presentation in front of your class, try wearing khaki pants and a button-down or collared shirt. If you have a more feminine style, you might wear a dress, instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add trendy accessories to your outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Accessories are an easy way to make an outfit cooler. When you're shopping for clothing, check out the accessories as well, and look for pieces that you feel reflect your personality. Then when you get dressed every day, pick 1 or 2 accessories that match what you're wearing.\\nTry adding a canvas belt and cool sneakers to make jeans and a T-shirt look more interesting.\\nIf you wear a uniform, you might show your style with a stylish bracelet, watch, necklace, scarf, colorful socks, or a fun belt. Just make sure it follows your school's dress code!\\nLook at your favorite celebrities and style icons for outfit and accessory ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear light makeup if you wear any.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of kids start experimenting with makeup in middle school for the very first time. You can use concealer, powder, and blush to smooth out or brighten your complexion. If you want to define your eyes, lightly line your eyes with eyeliner and apply a little eyeshadow to your eyelids. Then, try a light coat of mascara on your lashes.\\nAs you're experimenting with makeup, keep in mind that usually, the more natural you look, the better.\\nIf you look like you're trying too hard to change your appearance, you might seem like you're not self-confident. Remember, if you want other people to think you're cool, first, they have to believe that YOU think you're cool!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly to people from different social groups.\", \"描述\": \"While it might seem like the only way to be cool is to hang out with the most popular kids you can find, the truth is, being really cool means being friends with a lot of different kinds of people. Take the time to get to know each person you meet, no matter what clique they're a part of. Then, befriend the people you like the most.\\nBeing cool is about more than just being popular. Popularity can change overnight and is based on the opinion of others, while being cool means staying true to yourself no matter who else is around.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossip\", \"描述\": \"If someone starts talking bad about another person while you're around, either ask them to stop, ignore the conversation entirely, or walk away. You'll seem a lot cooler if you're too laid-back to get involved in rumors and other drama.\\nBe careful what you say about other people, too, so you're not unintentionally the source of any rumors yourself. For instance, if your friend tells you in confidence that her parents are getting a divorce, don't share that information with anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time around people who build you up.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, in middle school, you might run into people who are unkind. If you spend time around someone and they put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, try to avoid them as much as possible. Instead, hang out with friends who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself.\\nIf you're frequently the target of teasing or physical aggression, tell a teacher or another adult, and stick close to other students as much as possible to help make yourself less of a target. If you need to, find someone who's sitting alone and say something like, “Those kids over there keep messing with me. Is it okay if I sit here for a few minutes so they'll leave me alone?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't bully people to try to get attention.\", \"描述\": \"Some people think that teasing other kids will make them seem cool, but this isn't true. Even if you're a victim of bullying yourself, avoid taking it out on someone who's less popular than you are. Instead, be a friend to those who are being bullied and talk in ways that will make them feel better. Being kind to everyone will make people look up to you, which will make you seem cooler.\\nIf you see bullying happening at your school, stand up straight, look the bully in the eyes, and tell them to stop. If you're concerned that this will put you in physical danger, report the incident to a teacher, parent, or another responsible adult instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a good sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"If you want people to think you're cool, try being funny! Be willing to laugh at yourself, even if you make a mistake. Also, laugh with your friends when they're being funny, and share funny memes or jokes that you come across.\\nFor instance, if you spill something on your shirt at lunch, don't get upset about it. Just start laughing, instead! More than likely, other people will laugh with you—which is way more fun than having people laugh at you!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building a Good Reputation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your best in school.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to have a good reputation in middle school, pay attention and try to do well in every class you're in, even if it's something that doesn't come easily to you. Do your homework and turn in all of your assignments, and try not to daydream when the teacher is giving your lessons.\\nBeing cool doesn't mean skipping school and failing tests, although you don't necessarily have to have the highest grade in your class, either. If you make a habit of breaking the rules, though, you'll have a reputation as a troublemaker, rather than a reputation for being cool.\\nAs a bonus, paying close attention in class might make your after-school assignments easier to finish, so you'll have more time to spend with your friends!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embrace what makes you an individual.\", \"描述\": \"The coolest people always seem to be the ones who have a great understanding of who they are. Think about what makes you unique—maybe you have a cool eye for fashion, are great at drawing, or you can run really fast. Then, look for ways to express those qualities.\\nFor instance, you might always wear unique, funky outfits if you're into fashion, you might draw illustrations for the school paper if you love art, or you might try out for the track team if you're a runner.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use social media thoughtfully.\", \"描述\": \"When you're just starting to use social media, it can be hard to know how to use it without oversharing. Just remember that you can't take anything back once it's online, so keep your most personal business private, and don't share any pictures online that you would be embarrassed for everyone to see.\\nAlso, don't share or post unkind comments about anyone, especially if you wouldn't say those things to that person's face. Internet bullying can be very hurtful, and it won't make you seem cooler.\\nIf you see online bullying, do your best to ignore it, even if it's directed at you. However, you can report the bullying, either online or to a parent or teacher.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to trends.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping up with trends can help you seem like you know what's cool, so when you see a trend you like on TV, online, or at school, don't be afraid to try it out. You don't have to follow every trend that's out there—that will make you seem unoriginal. Just pick the ones you really like!\\nFor instance, if you see your favorite celebrity wearing an awesome pair of sunglasses, you might look for a similar pair when you go shopping.\\nIf a lot of your friends wear baggy jeans, you might look for a pair of relaxed-fit jeans. However, going against trends can make you seem cool too, so if you want to wear skinny jeans instead, go for it!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a club or team at your school.\", \"描述\": \"If it's possible, try to find clubs, sports, competitive teams, or other activities at your school that fit your personal interests or hobbies. Getting involved in after-school activities can be a great way to expand your social circle. Also, if you're busy with activities, you'll seem cooler than you would if you just went home every day.\\nFor instance, if you're athletic, you might try out for your school's soccer, baseball, cheerleading, or dance team. If you love music, you might join the band or choir. If you're really great at math or science, you might join the robotics team.\\nDon't join a club you don't really like just because you think it will be cool. For instance, if you're not into sports, cheerleading probably isn't a good fit for you, even if that seems like a good way to get popular.\"}]}]}}",
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3,659 | How to Be Cool in Seventh Grade | 1. Interacting with Others
1-1. Build friendships.
Being alone isn’t cool and neither is chasing the friendship of the people with the most status. Instead of trying to befriend the most attractive people, spend time with friends the same gender as you and don’t abandon them if you do make more friends. Good friendships make you feel more confident now and more healthy long-term.
Instead of looking for relationships and trying to impress immature kids who seem cool, stay home with your friends. Find activities you can do together, even if that means watching a movie and eating ice cream.
Social media is good for maintaining friendships, but be sure to spend plenty of time in-person with friends.
1-2. Engage in social media carefully.
Social media is a widespread, easy platform to use to connect to friends, but it creates many problems. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in negative activities such as cyberbullying. Stay connected with others, discuss interests, but don’t make a bad name for yourself by being rude.
Take as much time off as you can from social media to spend time with friends or do activities.
Don’t try hard to impress others. You don’t need to compete to take wild pictures and post status updates. Instead, having fun and doing what comes naturally will come through in the pictures and on the page and make you seem confident and cool.
It’s easy to respond quickly and angrily online, but this opens you up for retaliation. Instead, turn off computer and calm down first.
1-3. Keep up on trends.
Have you heard that new song yet? Everyone else in school has, and to be cool it’s useful to be able to keep up with what everyone else knows. If you know about that song, for instance, even if you don’t like it you’ll be able to talk about it.
Having common ground with someone helps you begin a conversation and become their friend.
1-4. Have a sense of humor.
If you struggle with being entertaining, you can learn some jokes, for instance, but humor also includes the way you look at your situation. In the seventh grade, any awkward moment or mistake can look like a big deal. If you treat it like one, others see that and may even joke about it. Learning to let life not bother you is part of maintaining your cool.
Remember that the things that look bad now won’t mean anything later on, so you’ll end up laughing about many of these memories anyway.
1-5. Don’t tell secrets.
It doesn’t matter how trustworthy you think someone is. In the seventh grade, if you do anything, whether that be planning a surprise for a friend or sending a naked picture of yourself, expect that the school will know. The other seventh graders feel the need to know and be first to tell others, and they will distort the message along the way. Don’t tell anything you don’t want to be public knowledge.
This also goes for anything anyone else tells you. If someone tells you a secret, the last person you want to be is the one who can’t be trusted. Keep it secret. If it’s important, talk to a trusted adult.
1-6. Get active.
Athletes are commonly considered cool. Sports are school-wide activities that a limited group of students get to perform. You can however participate in these sports and teams outside of school. If you’re not athletically-inclined, getting active means finding something else you enjoy, like a school club or a youth group.
The important step to being active is finding something you enjoy. Make friends while doing it. You’ll become happier, more confident, and therefore appear cooler.
Give up on worrying a lot about what other people think of your activities.
2. Doing Well in School
2-1. Be yourself.
It is okay to adjust your appearance and behavior to fit in, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to like what you like. Own it. This will make you happier and more confident, which makes you seem cooler. On the other hand, someone striving too hard to be cool is obvious to everyone around them becomes uncool.
2-2. Take care of your schoolwork.
No, being studious isn’t considered cool. Neither is being grounded. If you don’t do the work, your parents may keep you in the house, make you go to tutoring, or make you do the work later anyway. In addition, doing badly hurts your future and being considered dumb doesn’t make you look cool either.
You don’t have to announce that you love school. Simply get the work done and do the best you can.
2-3. Avoid breaking rules.
In the seventh grade, you’re bound to hear plenty of stories of kids who experiment with relationships, sex, drugs, and disobeying. You may want to pull away from parents and teachers, but you’ll have better results not going out of your way to break rules to appear cool.
The risks others take seem cool now, but the time spent being superficial and partying makes you miss out on long-term friendships.
The kids who socially strive to be cool by doing things like shoplifting, cutting class, and having relationships lose their coolness as you progress in life and they don’t.
2-4. Be friendly.
Seventh grade is difficult, particularly when you’re around popular kids. Many of them act aggressively to others raise their own status. This however is stressful and nasty. By treating everyone with respect, you’ll avoid making enemies and many who are tired of putting on an act to be cool will appreciate it.
Greet people warmly without offering any disrespect. Do your best to be personable.
Avoid talking behind someone else’s back or other sorts of bullying behavior.
Don’t forget to be friendly to adults, too. Although you want to get away from parents and teachers, showing hostility isn’t impressive and leads to more trouble.
2-5. Resolve conflicts peacefully.
Fights may be encouraged by other kids, but the flared tempers don’t leave anyone looking cool. When conflicts do arise, try examining the problem, reasoning it through, and discussing a solution. The seventh grade is a difficult time of life, so fighting and being catty makes you look bad when emotions settle and sets you up for future incidents.
After you’ve identified the problems and given your perspective, listen to the other person’s perspective.
Don’t use what someone else says to provoke or attack. Instead, find common interests and use these to make a decision.
Showing that you’re in control and have leadership skills will make you seem cool and leadership skills can be used to impress adults.
3. Dressing for School
3-1. Take a shower.
In middle school, you’re at the point when your body begins to do weird things that cause you to feel that your reputation is in danger around other kids. If you haven’t previously been doing it, it’s time to take a shower every morning. This washes away body odor, sweat, and grease in hair. Use a small amount of bathing product, work it into a lather, and gently rinse with warm water.
Be sure to wash your hair. If oily hair is a problem, choose shampoo and conditioner that is designed for oily hair.
If you plan on using perfume or cologne, avoid bath products that leave a strong scent.
3-2. Shave body hair.
This is optional. You may not even have much hair that you want to shave, but other kids make you feel self-conscious. Unfortunately, quite a few people look down upon natural body hair and shaving is an adult activity many others are eager to try.
Ask your parents if you haven’t started yet, and let them show you how to shave properly.
Lather up shave gel on the damp, freshly-washed areas you will shave. Take a safe but sharp razor and move in the direction of the hair growth. For underarms, for instance, this requires moving the razor in all angles.
For girls, gently stroke up your legs. For the upper lip, stroke downwards.
For boys, start from the side of the face and move in the direction of the hair growth. This is most often downwards until you get to the throat.
3-3. Apply deodorant.
When you sweat, your body produces odors. Deodorant is necessary to stop that. After taking a shower, apply your chosen deodorant to your underarms and consider using it on non-sensitive areas such as your feet. The spray or roll-on deodorant should go on evenly and last until you get home.
Avoid deodorant that is very smelly. Smell is a powerful sense, and a bad smell is a sure way to be considered uncool.
Try antiperspirants if needed. Many deodorants are also antiperspirants, which prevent sweating. For excessive sweating, choose a brand that has more than ten percent aluminum in it.
3-4. Put on a little cologne or perfume.
This is optional, but helps cover up the body’s natural odors. The fragrance doesn’t have to be expensive to be good. Find one that smells nice to you in nearby retail stores and begin applying them right after you’ve dried your skin after a shower, as that’s when they’re best able to get into your skin. Stand still and spray or dab a little bit onto you.
The best areas to put on fragrance are warm areas such as the neck, lower jaw, chest, and shoulders.
Start with one spray or dab at first and let the fragrance rest. Rubbing it in makes the smell weaker.
Go slow. Avoid using too much. Your fragrance should not be detectable from far away and it should not smother those around you.
3-5. Style your hair.
Everyone in school can see your hair. A style that looks trendy will announce your coolness factor and one that looks lame will hurt your appearance. The most important factor is to work with your natural hairstyle and frame it in a way that emphasizes your features.
For inspiration, ask your hairdresser or parents. Also look at what celebrities and cool kids around you do, but remember that the best style will be uniquely you.
Products such as gel or straightener devices are an option, but be wary of copying a bland style that those around you try.
3-6. Apply makeup sparingly.
Makeup is far from a necessity. There’s no reason to cover up your natural appearance, but you’ve most likely witnessed your mother and other adults applying makeup. If you do choose to use some, use small amounts. Going overboard on lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and foundation isn’t appealing.
Try to stick to minimums, such as small containers of lip gloss and eyeliner.
Have your parent or a makeup counter clerk show you how to apply makeup properly.
Instead of covering your face, get used to your own skin. Learn to love it and gain confidence from your natural appearance. This will give you a coolness factor that makeup cannot provide.
3-7. Dress attractively.
Appearance is important. When you dress well, you start feeling better and others view you better. Many students shop at expensive retailers and may look down on general stores like Walmart, but instead of spending all your money, find what looks good on you and work that into your own style.
Find clothes that fit you well. That means your jeans shouldn’t be skin-tight, but they also shouldn’t be baggy. Girls, avoid short skirts and thin tops that will get you in trouble.
Try not to look like a typical student. This means limiting wearing what others are wearing, such as school logos, bland jeans, or worn-out shirts.
Look to others for ideas, but remember to make your own style instead of copying that of a popular kid.
If you wear a uniform, all you can do is try to change the uniform in alternative ways. Accessories are a good way to make an individual statement.
3-8. Accessorize.
If you have to wear a uniform, chances are you’ve already started this, but everyone can benefit from choosing accessories that look unique and individual. Choose ones that speak to you rather than ones that are simply expensive or popular. They should stand out enough that they catch the eyes of those around you but shouldn’t be over the top in brightness or design.
Instead of wearing flip-flops or worn-out sneakers, find shoes of different designs and materials and match them to your outfit.
In winter months, try to avoid puffy coats, but don’t sacrifice warmth.
Choose a backpack, handbag, and school supplies with designs and colors that appeal to you and compliment your clothes.
Hair accessories and jewelry provide a great opportunity to apply color and designs in a way that displays your individuality.
Tips
Treat everyone well. If you make jewelry, for instance, you can give them to kids who aren’t popular. Others, including more popular kids, may notice and want them too.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t lie and break rules to do that. Chances are you’ll end up losing the person you were trying to impress at the cost of bringing on more trouble for yourself.
Being yourself is the biggest key to being happy and cool. Find your interests and explore them.
Warnings
Pretending to be friends with the people who don’t truly seem to like you will hurt your reputation and make life more difficult in the long run.
Be careful about telling secrets. Snitches have bad reputations, but some kept secrets can lead to someone getting hurt. Use your judgment and talk to an adult when needed.
Sticking up for others can be risky, but doing so does look cool and is appreciated by others.
Stay away from being the class clown. Doing wild, risky activities such as sex, drugs, and cutting class seems cool at first, but it soon sets you behind everyone else in life.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Interacting with Others\\n1-1. Build friendships.\\nBeing alone isn’t cool and neither is chasing the friendship of the people with the most status. Instead of trying to befriend the most attractive people, spend time with friends the same gender as you and don’t abandon them if you do make more friends. Good friendships make you feel more confident now and more healthy long-term.\\nInstead of looking for relationships and trying to impress immature kids who seem cool, stay home with your friends. Find activities you can do together, even if that means watching a movie and eating ice cream.\\nSocial media is good for maintaining friendships, but be sure to spend plenty of time in-person with friends.\\n1-2. Engage in social media carefully.\\nSocial media is a widespread, easy platform to use to connect to friends, but it creates many problems. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in negative activities such as cyberbullying. Stay connected with others, discuss interests, but don’t make a bad name for yourself by being rude.\\nTake as much time off as you can from social media to spend time with friends or do activities.\\nDon’t try hard to impress others. You don’t need to compete to take wild pictures and post status updates. Instead, having fun and doing what comes naturally will come through in the pictures and on the page and make you seem confident and cool.\\nIt’s easy to respond quickly and angrily online, but this opens you up for retaliation. Instead, turn off computer and calm down first.\\n1-3. Keep up on trends.\\nHave you heard that new song yet? Everyone else in school has, and to be cool it’s useful to be able to keep up with what everyone else knows. If you know about that song, for instance, even if you don’t like it you’ll be able to talk about it.\\nHaving common ground with someone helps you begin a conversation and become their friend.\\n1-4. Have a sense of humor.\\nIf you struggle with being entertaining, you can learn some jokes, for instance, but humor also includes the way you look at your situation. In the seventh grade, any awkward moment or mistake can look like a big deal. If you treat it like one, others see that and may even joke about it. Learning to let life not bother you is part of maintaining your cool.\\nRemember that the things that look bad now won’t mean anything later on, so you’ll end up laughing about many of these memories anyway.\\n1-5. Don’t tell secrets.\\nIt doesn’t matter how trustworthy you think someone is. In the seventh grade, if you do anything, whether that be planning a surprise for a friend or sending a naked picture of yourself, expect that the school will know. The other seventh graders feel the need to know and be first to tell others, and they will distort the message along the way. Don’t tell anything you don’t want to be public knowledge.\\nThis also goes for anything anyone else tells you. If someone tells you a secret, the last person you want to be is the one who can’t be trusted. Keep it secret. If it’s important, talk to a trusted adult.\\n1-6. Get active.\\nAthletes are commonly considered cool. Sports are school-wide activities that a limited group of students get to perform. You can however participate in these sports and teams outside of school. If you’re not athletically-inclined, getting active means finding something else you enjoy, like a school club or a youth group.\\nThe important step to being active is finding something you enjoy. Make friends while doing it. You’ll become happier, more confident, and therefore appear cooler.\\nGive up on worrying a lot about what other people think of your activities.\\n2. Doing Well in School\\n2-1. Be yourself.\\nIt is okay to adjust your appearance and behavior to fit in, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to like what you like. Own it. This will make you happier and more confident, which makes you seem cooler. On the other hand, someone striving too hard to be cool is obvious to everyone around them becomes uncool.\\n2-2. Take care of your schoolwork.\\nNo, being studious isn’t considered cool. Neither is being grounded. If you don’t do the work, your parents may keep you in the house, make you go to tutoring, or make you do the work later anyway. In addition, doing badly hurts your future and being considered dumb doesn’t make you look cool either.\\nYou don’t have to announce that you love school. Simply get the work done and do the best you can.\\n2-3. Avoid breaking rules.\\nIn the seventh grade, you’re bound to hear plenty of stories of kids who experiment with relationships, sex, drugs, and disobeying. You may want to pull away from parents and teachers, but you’ll have better results not going out of your way to break rules to appear cool.\\nThe risks others take seem cool now, but the time spent being superficial and partying makes you miss out on long-term friendships.\\nThe kids who socially strive to be cool by doing things like shoplifting, cutting class, and having relationships lose their coolness as you progress in life and they don’t.\\n2-4. Be friendly.\\nSeventh grade is difficult, particularly when you’re around popular kids. Many of them act aggressively to others raise their own status. This however is stressful and nasty. By treating everyone with respect, you’ll avoid making enemies and many who are tired of putting on an act to be cool will appreciate it.\\nGreet people warmly without offering any disrespect. Do your best to be personable.\\nAvoid talking behind someone else’s back or other sorts of bullying behavior.\\nDon’t forget to be friendly to adults, too. Although you want to get away from parents and teachers, showing hostility isn’t impressive and leads to more trouble.\\n2-5. Resolve conflicts peacefully.\\nFights may be encouraged by other kids, but the flared tempers don’t leave anyone looking cool. When conflicts do arise, try examining the problem, reasoning it through, and discussing a solution. The seventh grade is a difficult time of life, so fighting and being catty makes you look bad when emotions settle and sets you up for future incidents.\\nAfter you’ve identified the problems and given your perspective, listen to the other person’s perspective.\\nDon’t use what someone else says to provoke or attack. Instead, find common interests and use these to make a decision.\\nShowing that you’re in control and have leadership skills will make you seem cool and leadership skills can be used to impress adults.\\n3. Dressing for School\\n3-1. Take a shower.\\nIn middle school, you’re at the point when your body begins to do weird things that cause you to feel that your reputation is in danger around other kids. If you haven’t previously been doing it, it’s time to take a shower every morning. This washes away body odor, sweat, and grease in hair. Use a small amount of bathing product, work it into a lather, and gently rinse with warm water.\\nBe sure to wash your hair. If oily hair is a problem, choose shampoo and conditioner that is designed for oily hair.\\nIf you plan on using perfume or cologne, avoid bath products that leave a strong scent.\\n3-2. Shave body hair.\\nThis is optional. You may not even have much hair that you want to shave, but other kids make you feel self-conscious. Unfortunately, quite a few people look down upon natural body hair and shaving is an adult activity many others are eager to try.\\nAsk your parents if you haven’t started yet, and let them show you how to shave properly.\\nLather up shave gel on the damp, freshly-washed areas you will shave. Take a safe but sharp razor and move in the direction of the hair growth. For underarms, for instance, this requires moving the razor in all angles.\\nFor girls, gently stroke up your legs. For the upper lip, stroke downwards.\\nFor boys, start from the side of the face and move in the direction of the hair growth. This is most often downwards until you get to the throat.\\n3-3. Apply deodorant.\\nWhen you sweat, your body produces odors. Deodorant is necessary to stop that. After taking a shower, apply your chosen deodorant to your underarms and consider using it on non-sensitive areas such as your feet. The spray or roll-on deodorant should go on evenly and last until you get home.\\nAvoid deodorant that is very smelly. Smell is a powerful sense, and a bad smell is a sure way to be considered uncool.\\nTry antiperspirants if needed. Many deodorants are also antiperspirants, which prevent sweating. For excessive sweating, choose a brand that has more than ten percent aluminum in it.\\n3-4. Put on a little cologne or perfume.\\nThis is optional, but helps cover up the body’s natural odors. The fragrance doesn’t have to be expensive to be good. Find one that smells nice to you in nearby retail stores and begin applying them right after you’ve dried your skin after a shower, as that’s when they’re best able to get into your skin. Stand still and spray or dab a little bit onto you.\\nThe best areas to put on fragrance are warm areas such as the neck, lower jaw, chest, and shoulders.\\nStart with one spray or dab at first and let the fragrance rest. Rubbing it in makes the smell weaker.\\nGo slow. Avoid using too much. Your fragrance should not be detectable from far away and it should not smother those around you.\\n3-5. Style your hair.\\nEveryone in school can see your hair. A style that looks trendy will announce your coolness factor and one that looks lame will hurt your appearance. The most important factor is to work with your natural hairstyle and frame it in a way that emphasizes your features.\\nFor inspiration, ask your hairdresser or parents. Also look at what celebrities and cool kids around you do, but remember that the best style will be uniquely you.\\nProducts such as gel or straightener devices are an option, but be wary of copying a bland style that those around you try.\\n3-6. Apply makeup sparingly.\\nMakeup is far from a necessity. There’s no reason to cover up your natural appearance, but you’ve most likely witnessed your mother and other adults applying makeup. If you do choose to use some, use small amounts. Going overboard on lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and foundation isn’t appealing.\\nTry to stick to minimums, such as small containers of lip gloss and eyeliner.\\nHave your parent or a makeup counter clerk show you how to apply makeup properly.\\nInstead of covering your face, get used to your own skin. Learn to love it and gain confidence from your natural appearance. This will give you a coolness factor that makeup cannot provide.\\n3-7. Dress attractively.\\nAppearance is important. When you dress well, you start feeling better and others view you better. Many students shop at expensive retailers and may look down on general stores like Walmart, but instead of spending all your money, find what looks good on you and work that into your own style.\\nFind clothes that fit you well. That means your jeans shouldn’t be skin-tight, but they also shouldn’t be baggy. Girls, avoid short skirts and thin tops that will get you in trouble.\\nTry not to look like a typical student. This means limiting wearing what others are wearing, such as school logos, bland jeans, or worn-out shirts.\\nLook to others for ideas, but remember to make your own style instead of copying that of a popular kid.\\nIf you wear a uniform, all you can do is try to change the uniform in alternative ways. Accessories are a good way to make an individual statement.\\n3-8. Accessorize.\\nIf you have to wear a uniform, chances are you’ve already started this, but everyone can benefit from choosing accessories that look unique and individual. Choose ones that speak to you rather than ones that are simply expensive or popular. They should stand out enough that they catch the eyes of those around you but shouldn’t be over the top in brightness or design.\\nInstead of wearing flip-flops or worn-out sneakers, find shoes of different designs and materials and match them to your outfit.\\nIn winter months, try to avoid puffy coats, but don’t sacrifice warmth.\\nChoose a backpack, handbag, and school supplies with designs and colors that appeal to you and compliment your clothes.\\nHair accessories and jewelry provide a great opportunity to apply color and designs in a way that displays your individuality.\\nTips\\nTreat everyone well. If you make jewelry, for instance, you can give them to kids who aren’t popular. Others, including more popular kids, may notice and want them too.\\nDon’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t lie and break rules to do that. Chances are you’ll end up losing the person you were trying to impress at the cost of bringing on more trouble for yourself.\\nBeing yourself is the biggest key to being happy and cool. Find your interests and explore them.\\nWarnings\\nPretending to be friends with the people who don’t truly seem to like you will hurt your reputation and make life more difficult in the long run.\\nBe careful about telling secrets. Snitches have bad reputations, but some kept secrets can lead to someone getting hurt. Use your judgment and talk to an adult when needed.\\nSticking up for others can be risky, but doing so does look cool and is appreciated by others.\\nStay away from being the class clown. Doing wild, risky activities such as sex, drugs, and cutting class seems cool at first, but it soon sets you behind everyone else in life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The seventh grade is a challenging time. Even after adapting to a new school in previous kids, you still worry over the impossibility of fitting in. You look at the beloved athletes, popular girls at the “cool” table at lunch, and even the kids who don’t seem to care about anything other than partying, and you convince yourself you want to become that. When you go on to high school, though, you realize how little their reputations matter. Rather than reinventing your image, putting effort into your appearance and adopting a good attitude that allows you to be yourself will make you cool in seventh grade.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build friendships.\", \"描述\": \"Being alone isn’t cool and neither is chasing the friendship of the people with the most status. Instead of trying to befriend the most attractive people, spend time with friends the same gender as you and don’t abandon them if you do make more friends. Good friendships make you feel more confident now and more healthy long-term.\\nInstead of looking for relationships and trying to impress immature kids who seem cool, stay home with your friends. Find activities you can do together, even if that means watching a movie and eating ice cream.\\nSocial media is good for maintaining friendships, but be sure to spend plenty of time in-person with friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Engage in social media carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Social media is a widespread, easy platform to use to connect to friends, but it creates many problems. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in negative activities such as cyberbullying. Stay connected with others, discuss interests, but don’t make a bad name for yourself by being rude.\\nTake as much time off as you can from social media to spend time with friends or do activities.\\nDon’t try hard to impress others. You don’t need to compete to take wild pictures and post status updates. Instead, having fun and doing what comes naturally will come through in the pictures and on the page and make you seem confident and cool.\\nIt’s easy to respond quickly and angrily online, but this opens you up for retaliation. Instead, turn off computer and calm down first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep up on trends.\", \"描述\": \"Have you heard that new song yet? Everyone else in school has, and to be cool it’s useful to be able to keep up with what everyone else knows. If you know about that song, for instance, even if you don’t like it you’ll be able to talk about it.\\nHaving common ground with someone helps you begin a conversation and become their friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"If you struggle with being entertaining, you can learn some jokes, for instance, but humor also includes the way you look at your situation. In the seventh grade, any awkward moment or mistake can look like a big deal. If you treat it like one, others see that and may even joke about it. Learning to let life not bother you is part of maintaining your cool.\\nRemember that the things that look bad now won’t mean anything later on, so you’ll end up laughing about many of these memories anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t tell secrets.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t matter how trustworthy you think someone is. In the seventh grade, if you do anything, whether that be planning a surprise for a friend or sending a naked picture of yourself, expect that the school will know. The other seventh graders feel the need to know and be first to tell others, and they will distort the message along the way. Don’t tell anything you don’t want to be public knowledge.\\nThis also goes for anything anyone else tells you. If someone tells you a secret, the last person you want to be is the one who can’t be trusted. Keep it secret. If it’s important, talk to a trusted adult.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get active.\", \"描述\": \"Athletes are commonly considered cool. Sports are school-wide activities that a limited group of students get to perform. You can however participate in these sports and teams outside of school. If you’re not athletically-inclined, getting active means finding something else you enjoy, like a school club or a youth group.\\nThe important step to being active is finding something you enjoy. Make friends while doing it. You’ll become happier, more confident, and therefore appear cooler.\\nGive up on worrying a lot about what other people think of your activities.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing Well in School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It is okay to adjust your appearance and behavior to fit in, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to like what you like. Own it. This will make you happier and more confident, which makes you seem cooler. On the other hand, someone striving too hard to be cool is obvious to everyone around them becomes uncool.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take care of your schoolwork.\", \"描述\": \"No, being studious isn’t considered cool. Neither is being grounded. If you don’t do the work, your parents may keep you in the house, make you go to tutoring, or make you do the work later anyway. In addition, doing badly hurts your future and being considered dumb doesn’t make you look cool either.\\nYou don’t have to announce that you love school. Simply get the work done and do the best you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid breaking rules.\", \"描述\": \"In the seventh grade, you’re bound to hear plenty of stories of kids who experiment with relationships, sex, drugs, and disobeying. You may want to pull away from parents and teachers, but you’ll have better results not going out of your way to break rules to appear cool.\\nThe risks others take seem cool now, but the time spent being superficial and partying makes you miss out on long-term friendships.\\nThe kids who socially strive to be cool by doing things like shoplifting, cutting class, and having relationships lose their coolness as you progress in life and they don’t.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be friendly.\", \"描述\": \"Seventh grade is difficult, particularly when you’re around popular kids. Many of them act aggressively to others raise their own status. This however is stressful and nasty. By treating everyone with respect, you’ll avoid making enemies and many who are tired of putting on an act to be cool will appreciate it.\\nGreet people warmly without offering any disrespect. Do your best to be personable.\\nAvoid talking behind someone else’s back or other sorts of bullying behavior.\\nDon’t forget to be friendly to adults, too. Although you want to get away from parents and teachers, showing hostility isn’t impressive and leads to more trouble.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Resolve conflicts peacefully.\", \"描述\": \"Fights may be encouraged by other kids, but the flared tempers don’t leave anyone looking cool. When conflicts do arise, try examining the problem, reasoning it through, and discussing a solution. The seventh grade is a difficult time of life, so fighting and being catty makes you look bad when emotions settle and sets you up for future incidents.\\nAfter you’ve identified the problems and given your perspective, listen to the other person’s perspective.\\nDon’t use what someone else says to provoke or attack. Instead, find common interests and use these to make a decision.\\nShowing that you’re in control and have leadership skills will make you seem cool and leadership skills can be used to impress adults.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dressing for School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a shower.\", \"描述\": \"In middle school, you’re at the point when your body begins to do weird things that cause you to feel that your reputation is in danger around other kids. If you haven’t previously been doing it, it’s time to take a shower every morning. This washes away body odor, sweat, and grease in hair. Use a small amount of bathing product, work it into a lather, and gently rinse with warm water.\\nBe sure to wash your hair. If oily hair is a problem, choose shampoo and conditioner that is designed for oily hair.\\nIf you plan on using perfume or cologne, avoid bath products that leave a strong scent.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Shave body hair.\", \"描述\": \"This is optional. You may not even have much hair that you want to shave, but other kids make you feel self-conscious. Unfortunately, quite a few people look down upon natural body hair and shaving is an adult activity many others are eager to try.\\nAsk your parents if you haven’t started yet, and let them show you how to shave properly.\\nLather up shave gel on the damp, freshly-washed areas you will shave. Take a safe but sharp razor and move in the direction of the hair growth. For underarms, for instance, this requires moving the razor in all angles.\\nFor girls, gently stroke up your legs. For the upper lip, stroke downwards.\\nFor boys, start from the side of the face and move in the direction of the hair growth. This is most often downwards until you get to the throat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apply deodorant.\", \"描述\": \"When you sweat, your body produces odors. Deodorant is necessary to stop that. After taking a shower, apply your chosen deodorant to your underarms and consider using it on non-sensitive areas such as your feet. The spray or roll-on deodorant should go on evenly and last until you get home.\\nAvoid deodorant that is very smelly. Smell is a powerful sense, and a bad smell is a sure way to be considered uncool.\\nTry antiperspirants if needed. Many deodorants are also antiperspirants, which prevent sweating. For excessive sweating, choose a brand that has more than ten percent aluminum in it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put on a little cologne or perfume.\", \"描述\": \"This is optional, but helps cover up the body’s natural odors. The fragrance doesn’t have to be expensive to be good. Find one that smells nice to you in nearby retail stores and begin applying them right after you’ve dried your skin after a shower, as that’s when they’re best able to get into your skin. Stand still and spray or dab a little bit onto you.\\nThe best areas to put on fragrance are warm areas such as the neck, lower jaw, chest, and shoulders.\\nStart with one spray or dab at first and let the fragrance rest. Rubbing it in makes the smell weaker.\\nGo slow. Avoid using too much. Your fragrance should not be detectable from far away and it should not smother those around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Style your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone in school can see your hair. A style that looks trendy will announce your coolness factor and one that looks lame will hurt your appearance. The most important factor is to work with your natural hairstyle and frame it in a way that emphasizes your features.\\nFor inspiration, ask your hairdresser or parents. Also look at what celebrities and cool kids around you do, but remember that the best style will be uniquely you.\\nProducts such as gel or straightener devices are an option, but be wary of copying a bland style that those around you try.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Apply makeup sparingly.\", \"描述\": \"Makeup is far from a necessity. There’s no reason to cover up your natural appearance, but you’ve most likely witnessed your mother and other adults applying makeup. If you do choose to use some, use small amounts. Going overboard on lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and foundation isn’t appealing.\\nTry to stick to minimums, such as small containers of lip gloss and eyeliner.\\nHave your parent or a makeup counter clerk show you how to apply makeup properly.\\nInstead of covering your face, get used to your own skin. Learn to love it and gain confidence from your natural appearance. This will give you a coolness factor that makeup cannot provide.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dress attractively.\", \"描述\": \"Appearance is important. When you dress well, you start feeling better and others view you better. Many students shop at expensive retailers and may look down on general stores like Walmart, but instead of spending all your money, find what looks good on you and work that into your own style.\\nFind clothes that fit you well. That means your jeans shouldn’t be skin-tight, but they also shouldn’t be baggy. Girls, avoid short skirts and thin tops that will get you in trouble.\\nTry not to look like a typical student. This means limiting wearing what others are wearing, such as school logos, bland jeans, or worn-out shirts.\\nLook to others for ideas, but remember to make your own style instead of copying that of a popular kid.\\nIf you wear a uniform, all you can do is try to change the uniform in alternative ways. Accessories are a good way to make an individual statement.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Accessorize.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to wear a uniform, chances are you’ve already started this, but everyone can benefit from choosing accessories that look unique and individual. Choose ones that speak to you rather than ones that are simply expensive or popular. They should stand out enough that they catch the eyes of those around you but shouldn’t be over the top in brightness or design.\\nInstead of wearing flip-flops or worn-out sneakers, find shoes of different designs and materials and match them to your outfit.\\nIn winter months, try to avoid puffy coats, but don’t sacrifice warmth.\\nChoose a backpack, handbag, and school supplies with designs and colors that appeal to you and compliment your clothes.\\nHair accessories and jewelry provide a great opportunity to apply color and designs in a way that displays your individuality.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Treat everyone well. If you make jewelry, for instance, you can give them to kids who aren’t popular. Others, including more popular kids, may notice and want them too.\\n\", \"Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t lie and break rules to do that. Chances are you’ll end up losing the person you were trying to impress at the cost of bringing on more trouble for yourself.\\n\", \"Being yourself is the biggest key to being happy and cool. Find your interests and explore them.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Pretending to be friends with the people who don’t truly seem to like you will hurt your reputation and make life more difficult in the long run.\\n\", \"Be careful about telling secrets. Snitches have bad reputations, but some kept secrets can lead to someone getting hurt. Use your judgment and talk to an adult when needed.\\n\", \"Sticking up for others can be risky, but doing so does look cool and is appreciated by others.\\n\", \"Stay away from being the class clown. Doing wild, risky activities such as sex, drugs, and cutting class seems cool at first, but it soon sets you behind everyone else in life.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,660 | How to Be Cool on Facebook | 1. Pick a sharp profile picture that flatters your features.
Go for a shot that makes you look handsome or beautiful.
Sort through flattering photos of yourself and choose one that shows off your best features. Maybe you have one where soft lighting is hitting your hair just right and highlights your amazing hair color, or maybe you've got a fantastic shot of you smiling coyly at the camera.
Keep in mind that Facebook will make you crop down your selected photo so you don't need a unique or creative background since people won't see it. Save these kinds of images for your cover photo.
It's completely fine for you to crop down a photo of yourself, especially if you're in a group or crowd. You should be the only one visible in your profile photo.
Use a photo that's crisp and in focus. Grainy profile pics are for the early years of Facebook!
2. Use a cover photo that shows your interests.
Pick an action shot to share something you're passionate about.
Now, it's totally okay to post a picture of you with a group, your family, or a pet. It's also an opportunity to let people see something you love doing like pilates, theater, or making music. The cover photo is what you want people to associate you with. For bonus cool points, choose a cover photo of you in an amazing location that you've been to.
Again, use a photo that's crisp and in focus. Nothing says Facebook amateur like a cover photo where the people have been cut off or you can see the individual pixels!
Have fun with the cover photo. You could use a group shot of you with a team or band that you're into or a crazy cool logo that you designed, for instance.
For example, if you're into fashion, use a cover photo of a runway or you shopping somewhere iconic like Saks Fifth Avenue.
3. Write a few keywords that describe your unique personality.
List who you are, what you do, and things you like.
If people are trying to get a sense of who you are, they'll probably skim over the bio section on your profile page. Instead of writing in detail about who you are, come up with a few catchy phrases to describe you. Think of your bio as a quick elevator pitch so you can quickly tell people who you are and what you like. This looks sleek and is useful if you're an influencer who's trying to gain followers.
For example, if you're a fashion influencer with a health streak, you might write, "Fashionista---Model---Keto life."
4. Post original updates.
Share an insight that's totally unique to you instead of re-posting content.
Most people scroll through Facebook at dizzying speeds, but a post that you've written may stand out since it's not a link. Keep your post short so you grab their attention. For instance, you might post, "Travel planning. Bali or Thailand. Thoughts?" This also has the added benefit of getting people to comment which makes your page look popular.
Sure, you probably won't be doing something cool all the time, so wait a few days until something newsworthy happens and then share it. By doing this, you'll keep your cool reputation.
For example, instead of re-posting a link from a band's page, write a short, catchy post like "My local band. New album dropped. #youcantstopthemusic."
Posting your own perspectives is also more interesting and can help you build your individual brand.
5. Skip common updates or app invites.
Give infrequent, awesome updates instead of lots of standard posts.
You've probably seen people who post about everything that happens to them, or they send you invites to play games and quizzes all the time. If you're trying to give off a cool vibe, avoid doing this since it makes you look like you're always on Facebook. Instead, share a picture or video occasionally of something that's memorable.
For instance, if you go sky diving, definitely post a short video or take a picture that shows you all suited up.
Think about it—you know cool people do boring everyday stuff, too. The difference is, they're not posting about it.
6. Limit your daily posts to 1 or 2 a day.
Keep your wall simple and streamlined.
If you post constantly, you'll spam your own page! This will also make it look like you're always on Facebook. You want people to realize that you've got an amazing life outside of the social media site and that you're too busy to post updates all the time.
Want to be mysterious? Wait several days in between your posts. This will make your posts really stand out.
7. Avoid replying to everyone else's posts.
Wait to comment on someone's post, and be original.
Make a point of only responding to people you know really well so it doesn't look like you're just commenting for the sake of posting something. If you do want to reply to a new post, wait at least a few hours so it looks like you're not always on Facebook.
If a friend posts about something happening in their life and a bunch of people have already posted comments like, "What happened?!" make your comment stand out. Instead of also saying, "What happened?" reply with something cool like, "Ooh, cryptic post. Care to tell more?"
8. Share amazing images and videos of your life.
Show people how awesome your life is.
Sure, you can share a post and tell people what's been going on in your life, but people might scroll past it. Grab their attention with a stunning photo. You can just post the picture or include a brief description to pique interest.
For instance, post a stylish black and white picture of a classic car with you leaning against it or share a video of you standing near a waterfall. If people start commenting on it, you can respond and give more details.
9. Use Text Delights in your posts.
Make your responses stand out from the crowd.
You've probably responded to someone's popular post with a "Congratulations," or "xo." Did you notice how sometimes the word or phrase turns a bold color and makes an animation? This feature is called Text Delights and all you have to do is use a trigger phrase in a post to activate it. Try these out the next time you're commenting on someone's page:
"Wonderful/lovely time" makes a flower bouquet
"You're the best/bestest" creates a flying star
"bff/bffs" shows dancing hands
"rad/radness" gives shooting star thumbs up
"xo/xoxo" shows lots of hearts
10. Avoid complaining or gossiping.
Cultivate a cool persona by focusing on yourself.
Don't let other people stress you out and definitely don't rant about people on your wall. Think of your Facebook as a drama-free zone that's laid back and chill.
If you do have problems with someone who's on Facebook, send them a direct message instead of interacting with them publicly.
Tips
Need some quick inspiration for a post? Keep a list of cool quotes from books, movies, famous people, you name it. Don't forget to include where the quote comes from.
Don't automatically accept friend requests since this looks like you're constantly on Facebook. Instead, wait a few days to accept. If you're not trying to gain a huge audience, you can totally deny the request.
Keep your private info private. Never share your address, phone number, or personal details that people could use to hack into your other online accounts.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Pick a sharp profile picture that flatters your features.\\nGo for a shot that makes you look handsome or beautiful.\\nSort through flattering photos of yourself and choose one that shows off your best features. Maybe you have one where soft lighting is hitting your hair just right and highlights your amazing hair color, or maybe you've got a fantastic shot of you smiling coyly at the camera.\\nKeep in mind that Facebook will make you crop down your selected photo so you don't need a unique or creative background since people won't see it. Save these kinds of images for your cover photo.\\nIt's completely fine for you to crop down a photo of yourself, especially if you're in a group or crowd. You should be the only one visible in your profile photo.\\nUse a photo that's crisp and in focus. Grainy profile pics are for the early years of Facebook!\\n2. Use a cover photo that shows your interests.\\nPick an action shot to share something you're passionate about.\\nNow, it's totally okay to post a picture of you with a group, your family, or a pet. It's also an opportunity to let people see something you love doing like pilates, theater, or making music. The cover photo is what you want people to associate you with. For bonus cool points, choose a cover photo of you in an amazing location that you've been to.\\nAgain, use a photo that's crisp and in focus. Nothing says Facebook amateur like a cover photo where the people have been cut off or you can see the individual pixels!\\nHave fun with the cover photo. You could use a group shot of you with a team or band that you're into or a crazy cool logo that you designed, for instance.\\nFor example, if you're into fashion, use a cover photo of a runway or you shopping somewhere iconic like Saks Fifth Avenue.\\n3. Write a few keywords that describe your unique personality.\\nList who you are, what you do, and things you like.\\nIf people are trying to get a sense of who you are, they'll probably skim over the bio section on your profile page. Instead of writing in detail about who you are, come up with a few catchy phrases to describe you. Think of your bio as a quick elevator pitch so you can quickly tell people who you are and what you like. This looks sleek and is useful if you're an influencer who's trying to gain followers.\\nFor example, if you're a fashion influencer with a health streak, you might write, \\\"Fashionista---Model---Keto life.\\\"\\n4. Post original updates.\\nShare an insight that's totally unique to you instead of re-posting content.\\nMost people scroll through Facebook at dizzying speeds, but a post that you've written may stand out since it's not a link. Keep your post short so you grab their attention. For instance, you might post, \\\"Travel planning. Bali or Thailand. Thoughts?\\\" This also has the added benefit of getting people to comment which makes your page look popular.\\nSure, you probably won't be doing something cool all the time, so wait a few days until something newsworthy happens and then share it. By doing this, you'll keep your cool reputation.\\nFor example, instead of re-posting a link from a band's page, write a short, catchy post like \\\"My local band. New album dropped. #youcantstopthemusic.\\\"\\nPosting your own perspectives is also more interesting and can help you build your individual brand.\\n5. Skip common updates or app invites.\\nGive infrequent, awesome updates instead of lots of standard posts.\\nYou've probably seen people who post about everything that happens to them, or they send you invites to play games and quizzes all the time. If you're trying to give off a cool vibe, avoid doing this since it makes you look like you're always on Facebook. Instead, share a picture or video occasionally of something that's memorable.\\nFor instance, if you go sky diving, definitely post a short video or take a picture that shows you all suited up.\\nThink about it—you know cool people do boring everyday stuff, too. The difference is, they're not posting about it.\\n6. Limit your daily posts to 1 or 2 a day.\\nKeep your wall simple and streamlined.\\nIf you post constantly, you'll spam your own page! This will also make it look like you're always on Facebook. You want people to realize that you've got an amazing life outside of the social media site and that you're too busy to post updates all the time.\\nWant to be mysterious? Wait several days in between your posts. This will make your posts really stand out.\\n7. Avoid replying to everyone else's posts.\\nWait to comment on someone's post, and be original.\\nMake a point of only responding to people you know really well so it doesn't look like you're just commenting for the sake of posting something. If you do want to reply to a new post, wait at least a few hours so it looks like you're not always on Facebook.\\nIf a friend posts about something happening in their life and a bunch of people have already posted comments like, \\\"What happened?!\\\" make your comment stand out. Instead of also saying, \\\"What happened?\\\" reply with something cool like, \\\"Ooh, cryptic post. Care to tell more?\\\"\\n8. Share amazing images and videos of your life.\\nShow people how awesome your life is.\\nSure, you can share a post and tell people what's been going on in your life, but people might scroll past it. Grab their attention with a stunning photo. You can just post the picture or include a brief description to pique interest.\\nFor instance, post a stylish black and white picture of a classic car with you leaning against it or share a video of you standing near a waterfall. If people start commenting on it, you can respond and give more details.\\n9. Use Text Delights in your posts.\\nMake your responses stand out from the crowd.\\nYou've probably responded to someone's popular post with a \\\"Congratulations,\\\" or \\\"xo.\\\" Did you notice how sometimes the word or phrase turns a bold color and makes an animation? This feature is called Text Delights and all you have to do is use a trigger phrase in a post to activate it. Try these out the next time you're commenting on someone's page:\\n\\\"Wonderful/lovely time\\\" makes a flower bouquet\\n\\\"You're the best/bestest\\\" creates a flying star\\n\\\"bff/bffs\\\" shows dancing hands\\n\\\"rad/radness\\\" gives shooting star thumbs up\\n\\\"xo/xoxo\\\" shows lots of hearts\\n10. Avoid complaining or gossiping.\\nCultivate a cool persona by focusing on yourself.\\nDon't let other people stress you out and definitely don't rant about people on your wall. Think of your Facebook as a drama-free zone that's laid back and chill.\\nIf you do have problems with someone who's on Facebook, send them a direct message instead of interacting with them publicly.\\nTips\\nNeed some quick inspiration for a post? Keep a list of cool quotes from books, movies, famous people, you name it. Don't forget to include where the quote comes from.\\nDon't automatically accept friend requests since this looks like you're constantly on Facebook. Instead, wait a few days to accept. If you're not trying to gain a huge audience, you can totally deny the request.\\nKeep your private info private. Never share your address, phone number, or personal details that people could use to hack into your other online accounts.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Now that everyone's on Facebook, you might wonder how you can stand out as a distinctly cool person. You probably have a few ideas of what not to do, but how do you create a laid-back persona that's the envy of all your friends? There are actually a lot of things you can do to make your profile cooler and interact with people on Facebook in a more casual, chill way. \\n\\nHere are 10 tips to help you get started being effortlessly cool on Facebook.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a sharp profile picture that flatters your features.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go for a shot that makes you look handsome or beautiful.\", \"描述\": \"Sort through flattering photos of yourself and choose one that shows off your best features. Maybe you have one where soft lighting is hitting your hair just right and highlights your amazing hair color, or maybe you've got a fantastic shot of you smiling coyly at the camera.\\nKeep in mind that Facebook will make you crop down your selected photo so you don't need a unique or creative background since people won't see it. Save these kinds of images for your cover photo.\\nIt's completely fine for you to crop down a photo of yourself, especially if you're in a group or crowd. You should be the only one visible in your profile photo.\\nUse a photo that's crisp and in focus. Grainy profile pics are for the early years of Facebook!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a cover photo that shows your interests.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick an action shot to share something you're passionate about.\", \"描述\": \"Now, it's totally okay to post a picture of you with a group, your family, or a pet. It's also an opportunity to let people see something you love doing like pilates, theater, or making music. The cover photo is what you want people to associate you with. For bonus cool points, choose a cover photo of you in an amazing location that you've been to.\\nAgain, use a photo that's crisp and in focus. Nothing says Facebook amateur like a cover photo where the people have been cut off or you can see the individual pixels!\\nHave fun with the cover photo. You could use a group shot of you with a team or band that you're into or a crazy cool logo that you designed, for instance.\\nFor example, if you're into fashion, use a cover photo of a runway or you shopping somewhere iconic like Saks Fifth Avenue.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write a few keywords that describe your unique personality.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"List who you are, what you do, and things you like.\", \"描述\": \"If people are trying to get a sense of who you are, they'll probably skim over the bio section on your profile page. Instead of writing in detail about who you are, come up with a few catchy phrases to describe you. Think of your bio as a quick elevator pitch so you can quickly tell people who you are and what you like. This looks sleek and is useful if you're an influencer who's trying to gain followers.\\nFor example, if you're a fashion influencer with a health streak, you might write, \\\"Fashionista---Model---Keto life.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Post original updates.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Share an insight that's totally unique to you instead of re-posting content.\", \"描述\": \"Most people scroll through Facebook at dizzying speeds, but a post that you've written may stand out since it's not a link. Keep your post short so you grab their attention. For instance, you might post, \\\"Travel planning. Bali or Thailand. Thoughts?\\\" This also has the added benefit of getting people to comment which makes your page look popular.\\nSure, you probably won't be doing something cool all the time, so wait a few days until something newsworthy happens and then share it. By doing this, you'll keep your cool reputation.\\nFor example, instead of re-posting a link from a band's page, write a short, catchy post like \\\"My local band. New album dropped. #youcantstopthemusic.\\\"\\nPosting your own perspectives is also more interesting and can help you build your individual brand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Skip common updates or app invites.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give infrequent, awesome updates instead of lots of standard posts.\", \"描述\": \"You've probably seen people who post about everything that happens to them, or they send you invites to play games and quizzes all the time. If you're trying to give off a cool vibe, avoid doing this since it makes you look like you're always on Facebook. Instead, share a picture or video occasionally of something that's memorable.\\nFor instance, if you go sky diving, definitely post a short video or take a picture that shows you all suited up.\\nThink about it—you know cool people do boring everyday stuff, too. The difference is, they're not posting about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Limit your daily posts to 1 or 2 a day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your wall simple and streamlined.\", \"描述\": \"If you post constantly, you'll spam your own page! This will also make it look like you're always on Facebook. You want people to realize that you've got an amazing life outside of the social media site and that you're too busy to post updates all the time.\\nWant to be mysterious? Wait several days in between your posts. This will make your posts really stand out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid replying to everyone else's posts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait to comment on someone's post, and be original.\", \"描述\": \"Make a point of only responding to people you know really well so it doesn't look like you're just commenting for the sake of posting something. If you do want to reply to a new post, wait at least a few hours so it looks like you're not always on Facebook.\\nIf a friend posts about something happening in their life and a bunch of people have already posted comments like, \\\"What happened?!\\\" make your comment stand out. Instead of also saying, \\\"What happened?\\\" reply with something cool like, \\\"Ooh, cryptic post. Care to tell more?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Share amazing images and videos of your life.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show people how awesome your life is.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, you can share a post and tell people what's been going on in your life, but people might scroll past it. Grab their attention with a stunning photo. You can just post the picture or include a brief description to pique interest.\\nFor instance, post a stylish black and white picture of a classic car with you leaning against it or share a video of you standing near a waterfall. If people start commenting on it, you can respond and give more details.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use Text Delights in your posts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your responses stand out from the crowd.\", \"描述\": \"You've probably responded to someone's popular post with a \\\"Congratulations,\\\" or \\\"xo.\\\" Did you notice how sometimes the word or phrase turns a bold color and makes an animation? This feature is called Text Delights and all you have to do is use a trigger phrase in a post to activate it. Try these out the next time you're commenting on someone's page:\\n\\\"Wonderful/lovely time\\\" makes a flower bouquet\\n\\\"You're the best/bestest\\\" creates a flying star\\n\\\"bff/bffs\\\" shows dancing hands\\n\\\"rad/radness\\\" gives shooting star thumbs up\\n\\\"xo/xoxo\\\" shows lots of hearts\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Avoid complaining or gossiping.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivate a cool persona by focusing on yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let other people stress you out and definitely don't rant about people on your wall. Think of your Facebook as a drama-free zone that's laid back and chill.\\nIf you do have problems with someone who's on Facebook, send them a direct message instead of interacting with them publicly.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Need some quick inspiration for a post? Keep a list of cool quotes from books, movies, famous people, you name it. Don't forget to include where the quote comes from.\\n\", \"Don't automatically accept friend requests since this looks like you're constantly on Facebook. Instead, wait a few days to accept. If you're not trying to gain a huge audience, you can totally deny the request.\\n\", \"Keep your private info private. Never share your address, phone number, or personal details that people could use to hack into your other online accounts.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,661 | How to Be Country | 1. Dressing Country
1-1. Opt for a functional pair of fancy cowboy or cowgirl boots.
Boots should be functional first and foremost because they are meant to protect your feet and ankles as you ride. However, you can also have a fancy pair for going into town. Whatever kind you choose, they are the perfect complement to any outfit.
Boots can be made from anything, including leather, snakeskin, and even ostrich.
1-2. Get a pair of long jeans.
Jeans should gather on top of your boots. That's because if you get on a horse, you don't want the bottom of your jeans to lift above the tops of your boots. The jeans should also be boot-cut, meaning they fit over your boots but still stay close to your legs.
Wrangler jeans are a good option because the seams are on the outer edges rather than the inside. That means they won't chafe as much.
You can also opt for overalls if you prefer.
1-3. Tuck in a button-down shirt.
A button-down shirt is the perfect complement to a good pair of jeans. Long-sleeve is traditional, but you can wear short-sleeve if that's more comfortable. Plaid is always a good choice, but you can also wear prints or plain colors if you'd like.
It's important to tuck it in if you want the classic country look.
1-4. Try a loose dress over skinny jeans and boots.
Another classic look is wearing a maxi dress or a shorter dress over skinny jeans. If you opt for skinny jeans, though, make sure to tuck them into your boots instead of the other way around.
Any kind of dress will work for this look, really, but aim for one that has a loose fit over the bottom half of your body.
1-5. Add accessories like belts and hats.
A hat isn't strictly necessary, but it's a good way to top off your outfit. The only option is a western-style cowboy hat, which helps to keep the sun off while you're outside. Suede or leather are your best choices. A leather belt is also a good addition in brown or black.
A large belt buckle with a western theme is optional but fun.
1-6. Dress how you want and be comfortable.
Sure, you can don a pair of cowboy boots, jeans, and a button-down shirt, but really, life in the country is about being practical and comfortable. You don't need to worry about designer labels (unless it's that fancy brand of cowboy boots). Just dress how you want instead of trying to impress people with fancy labels.
Keep in mind, though, that if you wear stilettos and a short black dress to the grocery store, you might stick out a little bit.
2. Working on the Country Attitude
2-1. Relax and appreciate the small things.
While you can go to a fancy new restaurant or a hip club every night, you need to learn to slow down and be grateful for the small joys in life for a country attitude. Make yourself some fresh lemonade, plant some lovely smelling flowers, or take a walk through the country or a park. Pet your dog or just cook yourself a fresh meal with ingredients from your garden or the local farmer's market. It's these little things that make country life special.
2-2. Greet neighbors and strangers alike.
In the country, life is a little slower, and people tend to be a little nicer. It's common to wave to your neighbors and to hold a conversation with the clerk while you're checking out at the grocery store. Don't be afraid to say hello or strike up a conversation when you meet people.
2-3. Embrace the quiet and solitude.
While many small-town communities are close-knit, you're still going to be spending a lot of time on your own. Be ready to entertain yourself with books and hobbies, while enjoying life with your family, if you have one. If you don't live in the country, try embracing solitude in your city life by spending time alone in your home or out in nature.
Spend time outdoors enjoying the view and take in the night stars!
2-4. Reduce and reuse
When you live in the country, it takes more work to get the things you need. You learn to be resourceful and reuse the things you have so you don't have to run into town every few minutes. Don't have a flowerpot? Use that old bucket you had for washing your car. Need a food dish for your dog? Cut up an old coffee container and wash it out thoroughly.
Plus, when you live in the country, you may not have trash pickup. You'll want to reduce your waste as much as possible! That same principle is just as smart if you live in a city.
2-5. Get involved in town and community events.
Many people who live in the country get involved in their local communities, and you can do the same. Try going to local festivals that are unique to what's grown in the area, such as a watermelon festival or even a sorghum festival! Your area may have events that cropped due to people who immigrated to the area, such as Italian, Polish, German, or Greek festivals. Alternatively, try participating in events at your library or going to political events. Your local church or community center may have community events, too.
Keep an eye out when you're in town. You're sure to see posters for local events!
2-6. Be kind to your neighbors.
In the country, everyone tends to look out for one another, and you can do the same. Check in on your neighbors when they're sick, for instance, or invite them over for dinner. Alternatively, share your bounty with them. Maybe you have an abundance of herbs growing on your windowsill or you just made your grandma's molasses cookies.
Sharing with your neighbors is a country tradition! Plus, it's a great way to meet people and make friends with those who live nearby.
2-7. Enjoy the views and wildlife with friends and family.
There are many ways to enjoy the outside world, from having a barbecue to hosting a bonfire! You can also take hikes or go fishing. Just take time to be outside and enjoy nature. Being together with friends and family is a great way to create bonds that will last a lifetime.
3. Learning Relevant Skills
3-1. Try your hand at canning and jam-making.
Canning and jam-making are popular in the country because it's an easy way to save an overabundant harvest for later. When canning, always boil your lids and jars first so they're sterile. Fill up the jars with what you're canning, making sure the liquid comes up to about 0.25 to 0.5 inches (0.64 to 1.27 cm) from the top of the jar. Use a clean rag to go around the top before putting the lids on. Use canning tongs to set the jars in water and boil them for the recommended time to complete the canning process.
How long you process the jars depends on what you're canning. After you've removed the jars with tongs, listen for the "ping" of the lids, which means they're popping down and sealing the jars.
3-2. Learn to sew.
You can of course still buy your clothes from the store, but sewing your own clothes or linens can be a fun country pastime since you don't have quick access to the store. Watch some videos online or take a course on how to use a sewing machine. After that, try reading a pattern. Start with something basic, like a pillow, before jumping into something like a shirt or dress.
For a simple sewing project, place 2 squares of fabric together with the wrong side out. Sew around the outside 0.25 inches (0.64 cm) from the edges. Leave 4 to 5 inches (10 to 13 cm) unsewn and turn it inside out. Stuff the inside, then use a slip stitch to finish your pillow.
3-3. Plant a garden
Gardening is a long-standing country tradition since you have the space to grow your own food. To start a garden, begin your seeds in potting soil 2 weeks before the last frost, which you can look up online. Till an area in a sunny location in your garden and mix in some compost for fertilizer. Plant your seedlings in the garden once they reach 4 to 6 inches (10 to 15 cm), noting how far they should be spaced apart on the seed package. Keep your garden watered throughout the summer.
Some vegetables will be ready to harvest in mid-summer, such as tomatoes and lettuce. You can also plant lettuce at 2 different times so you have it available for longer.
Try veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelon, and lettuce.
3-4. Raise chickens or other farm animals.
Raising animals is popular in the country because you have the space and time to do it. Farm animals can be a source of food (chicken eggs) and milk (goats or cows). Research the animals you'd like to raise, and then put together a proper habitat for them. You'll also need to research food, medical care, and supplements.
Chickens and ducks are both easy to raise, though chickens will need a coop to roost in at night. Goats and cows will need to be milked each day and will also need a habitat.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dressing Country\\n1-1. Opt for a functional pair of fancy cowboy or cowgirl boots.\\nBoots should be functional first and foremost because they are meant to protect your feet and ankles as you ride. However, you can also have a fancy pair for going into town. Whatever kind you choose, they are the perfect complement to any outfit.\\nBoots can be made from anything, including leather, snakeskin, and even ostrich.\\n1-2. Get a pair of long jeans.\\nJeans should gather on top of your boots. That's because if you get on a horse, you don't want the bottom of your jeans to lift above the tops of your boots. The jeans should also be boot-cut, meaning they fit over your boots but still stay close to your legs.\\nWrangler jeans are a good option because the seams are on the outer edges rather than the inside. That means they won't chafe as much.\\nYou can also opt for overalls if you prefer.\\n1-3. Tuck in a button-down shirt.\\nA button-down shirt is the perfect complement to a good pair of jeans. Long-sleeve is traditional, but you can wear short-sleeve if that's more comfortable. Plaid is always a good choice, but you can also wear prints or plain colors if you'd like.\\nIt's important to tuck it in if you want the classic country look.\\n1-4. Try a loose dress over skinny jeans and boots.\\nAnother classic look is wearing a maxi dress or a shorter dress over skinny jeans. If you opt for skinny jeans, though, make sure to tuck them into your boots instead of the other way around.\\nAny kind of dress will work for this look, really, but aim for one that has a loose fit over the bottom half of your body.\\n1-5. Add accessories like belts and hats.\\nA hat isn't strictly necessary, but it's a good way to top off your outfit. The only option is a western-style cowboy hat, which helps to keep the sun off while you're outside. Suede or leather are your best choices. A leather belt is also a good addition in brown or black.\\nA large belt buckle with a western theme is optional but fun.\\n1-6. Dress how you want and be comfortable.\\nSure, you can don a pair of cowboy boots, jeans, and a button-down shirt, but really, life in the country is about being practical and comfortable. You don't need to worry about designer labels (unless it's that fancy brand of cowboy boots). Just dress how you want instead of trying to impress people with fancy labels.\\nKeep in mind, though, that if you wear stilettos and a short black dress to the grocery store, you might stick out a little bit.\\n2. Working on the Country Attitude\\n2-1. Relax and appreciate the small things.\\nWhile you can go to a fancy new restaurant or a hip club every night, you need to learn to slow down and be grateful for the small joys in life for a country attitude. Make yourself some fresh lemonade, plant some lovely smelling flowers, or take a walk through the country or a park. Pet your dog or just cook yourself a fresh meal with ingredients from your garden or the local farmer's market. It's these little things that make country life special.\\n2-2. Greet neighbors and strangers alike.\\nIn the country, life is a little slower, and people tend to be a little nicer. It's common to wave to your neighbors and to hold a conversation with the clerk while you're checking out at the grocery store. Don't be afraid to say hello or strike up a conversation when you meet people.\\n2-3. Embrace the quiet and solitude.\\nWhile many small-town communities are close-knit, you're still going to be spending a lot of time on your own. Be ready to entertain yourself with books and hobbies, while enjoying life with your family, if you have one. If you don't live in the country, try embracing solitude in your city life by spending time alone in your home or out in nature.\\nSpend time outdoors enjoying the view and take in the night stars!\\n2-4. Reduce and reuse\\nWhen you live in the country, it takes more work to get the things you need. You learn to be resourceful and reuse the things you have so you don't have to run into town every few minutes. Don't have a flowerpot? Use that old bucket you had for washing your car. Need a food dish for your dog? Cut up an old coffee container and wash it out thoroughly. \\nPlus, when you live in the country, you may not have trash pickup. You'll want to reduce your waste as much as possible! That same principle is just as smart if you live in a city.\\n2-5. Get involved in town and community events.\\nMany people who live in the country get involved in their local communities, and you can do the same. Try going to local festivals that are unique to what's grown in the area, such as a watermelon festival or even a sorghum festival! Your area may have events that cropped due to people who immigrated to the area, such as Italian, Polish, German, or Greek festivals. Alternatively, try participating in events at your library or going to political events. Your local church or community center may have community events, too.\\nKeep an eye out when you're in town. You're sure to see posters for local events!\\n2-6. Be kind to your neighbors.\\nIn the country, everyone tends to look out for one another, and you can do the same. Check in on your neighbors when they're sick, for instance, or invite them over for dinner. Alternatively, share your bounty with them. Maybe you have an abundance of herbs growing on your windowsill or you just made your grandma's molasses cookies. \\nSharing with your neighbors is a country tradition! Plus, it's a great way to meet people and make friends with those who live nearby.\\n2-7. Enjoy the views and wildlife with friends and family.\\nThere are many ways to enjoy the outside world, from having a barbecue to hosting a bonfire! You can also take hikes or go fishing. Just take time to be outside and enjoy nature. Being together with friends and family is a great way to create bonds that will last a lifetime.\\n3. Learning Relevant Skills\\n3-1. Try your hand at canning and jam-making.\\nCanning and jam-making are popular in the country because it's an easy way to save an overabundant harvest for later. When canning, always boil your lids and jars first so they're sterile. Fill up the jars with what you're canning, making sure the liquid comes up to about 0.25 to 0.5 inches (0.64 to 1.27 cm) from the top of the jar. Use a clean rag to go around the top before putting the lids on. Use canning tongs to set the jars in water and boil them for the recommended time to complete the canning process.\\nHow long you process the jars depends on what you're canning. After you've removed the jars with tongs, listen for the \\\"ping\\\" of the lids, which means they're popping down and sealing the jars.\\n3-2. Learn to sew.\\nYou can of course still buy your clothes from the store, but sewing your own clothes or linens can be a fun country pastime since you don't have quick access to the store. Watch some videos online or take a course on how to use a sewing machine. After that, try reading a pattern. Start with something basic, like a pillow, before jumping into something like a shirt or dress.\\nFor a simple sewing project, place 2 squares of fabric together with the wrong side out. Sew around the outside 0.25 inches (0.64 cm) from the edges. Leave 4 to 5 inches (10 to 13 cm) unsewn and turn it inside out. Stuff the inside, then use a slip stitch to finish your pillow.\\n3-3. Plant a garden\\nGardening is a long-standing country tradition since you have the space to grow your own food. To start a garden, begin your seeds in potting soil 2 weeks before the last frost, which you can look up online. Till an area in a sunny location in your garden and mix in some compost for fertilizer. Plant your seedlings in the garden once they reach 4 to 6 inches (10 to 15 cm), noting how far they should be spaced apart on the seed package. Keep your garden watered throughout the summer.\\nSome vegetables will be ready to harvest in mid-summer, such as tomatoes and lettuce. You can also plant lettuce at 2 different times so you have it available for longer.\\nTry veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelon, and lettuce.\\n3-4. Raise chickens or other farm animals.\\nRaising animals is popular in the country because you have the space and time to do it. Farm animals can be a source of food (chicken eggs) and milk (goats or cows). Research the animals you'd like to raise, and then put together a proper habitat for them. You'll also need to research food, medical care, and supplements.\\nChickens and ducks are both easy to raise, though chickens will need a coop to roost in at night. Goats and cows will need to be milked each day and will also need a habitat.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being country isn't about wearing certain clothes, listening to specific music, or talking in a particular manner. Instead, it's about adopting a certain attitude, working hard, and learning new skills. Living in the country can be the greatest adventure of your life, especially if you take a few steps to adopt the lifestyle.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dressing Country\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Opt for a functional pair of fancy cowboy or cowgirl boots.\", \"描述\": \"Boots should be functional first and foremost because they are meant to protect your feet and ankles as you ride. However, you can also have a fancy pair for going into town. Whatever kind you choose, they are the perfect complement to any outfit.\\nBoots can be made from anything, including leather, snakeskin, and even ostrich.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a pair of long jeans.\", \"描述\": \"Jeans should gather on top of your boots. That's because if you get on a horse, you don't want the bottom of your jeans to lift above the tops of your boots. The jeans should also be boot-cut, meaning they fit over your boots but still stay close to your legs.\\nWrangler jeans are a good option because the seams are on the outer edges rather than the inside. That means they won't chafe as much.\\nYou can also opt for overalls if you prefer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tuck in a button-down shirt.\", \"描述\": \"A button-down shirt is the perfect complement to a good pair of jeans. Long-sleeve is traditional, but you can wear short-sleeve if that's more comfortable. Plaid is always a good choice, but you can also wear prints or plain colors if you'd like.\\nIt's important to tuck it in if you want the classic country look.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try a loose dress over skinny jeans and boots.\", \"描述\": \"Another classic look is wearing a maxi dress or a shorter dress over skinny jeans. If you opt for skinny jeans, though, make sure to tuck them into your boots instead of the other way around.\\nAny kind of dress will work for this look, really, but aim for one that has a loose fit over the bottom half of your body.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add accessories like belts and hats.\", \"描述\": \"A hat isn't strictly necessary, but it's a good way to top off your outfit. The only option is a western-style cowboy hat, which helps to keep the sun off while you're outside. Suede or leather are your best choices. A leather belt is also a good addition in brown or black.\\nA large belt buckle with a western theme is optional but fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dress how you want and be comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, you can don a pair of cowboy boots, jeans, and a button-down shirt, but really, life in the country is about being practical and comfortable. You don't need to worry about designer labels (unless it's that fancy brand of cowboy boots). Just dress how you want instead of trying to impress people with fancy labels.\\nKeep in mind, though, that if you wear stilettos and a short black dress to the grocery store, you might stick out a little bit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working on the Country Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Relax and appreciate the small things.\", \"描述\": \"While you can go to a fancy new restaurant or a hip club every night, you need to learn to slow down and be grateful for the small joys in life for a country attitude. Make yourself some fresh lemonade, plant some lovely smelling flowers, or take a walk through the country or a park. Pet your dog or just cook yourself a fresh meal with ingredients from your garden or the local farmer's market. It's these little things that make country life special.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Greet neighbors and strangers alike.\", \"描述\": \"In the country, life is a little slower, and people tend to be a little nicer. It's common to wave to your neighbors and to hold a conversation with the clerk while you're checking out at the grocery store. Don't be afraid to say hello or strike up a conversation when you meet people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace the quiet and solitude.\", \"描述\": \"While many small-town communities are close-knit, you're still going to be spending a lot of time on your own. Be ready to entertain yourself with books and hobbies, while enjoying life with your family, if you have one. If you don't live in the country, try embracing solitude in your city life by spending time alone in your home or out in nature.\\nSpend time outdoors enjoying the view and take in the night stars!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce and reuse\", \"描述\": \"When you live in the country, it takes more work to get the things you need. You learn to be resourceful and reuse the things you have so you don't have to run into town every few minutes. Don't have a flowerpot? Use that old bucket you had for washing your car. Need a food dish for your dog? Cut up an old coffee container and wash it out thoroughly. \\nPlus, when you live in the country, you may not have trash pickup. You'll want to reduce your waste as much as possible! That same principle is just as smart if you live in a city.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get involved in town and community events.\", \"描述\": \"Many people who live in the country get involved in their local communities, and you can do the same. Try going to local festivals that are unique to what's grown in the area, such as a watermelon festival or even a sorghum festival! Your area may have events that cropped due to people who immigrated to the area, such as Italian, Polish, German, or Greek festivals. Alternatively, try participating in events at your library or going to political events. Your local church or community center may have community events, too.\\nKeep an eye out when you're in town. You're sure to see posters for local events!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be kind to your neighbors.\", \"描述\": \"In the country, everyone tends to look out for one another, and you can do the same. Check in on your neighbors when they're sick, for instance, or invite them over for dinner. Alternatively, share your bounty with them. Maybe you have an abundance of herbs growing on your windowsill or you just made your grandma's molasses cookies. \\nSharing with your neighbors is a country tradition! Plus, it's a great way to meet people and make friends with those who live nearby.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the views and wildlife with friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"There are many ways to enjoy the outside world, from having a barbecue to hosting a bonfire! You can also take hikes or go fishing. Just take time to be outside and enjoy nature. Being together with friends and family is a great way to create bonds that will last a lifetime.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learning Relevant Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try your hand at canning and jam-making.\", \"描述\": \"Canning and jam-making are popular in the country because it's an easy way to save an overabundant harvest for later. When canning, always boil your lids and jars first so they're sterile. Fill up the jars with what you're canning, making sure the liquid comes up to about 0.25 to 0.5 inches (0.64 to 1.27 cm) from the top of the jar. Use a clean rag to go around the top before putting the lids on. Use canning tongs to set the jars in water and boil them for the recommended time to complete the canning process.\\nHow long you process the jars depends on what you're canning. After you've removed the jars with tongs, listen for the \\\"ping\\\" of the lids, which means they're popping down and sealing the jars.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to sew.\", \"描述\": \"You can of course still buy your clothes from the store, but sewing your own clothes or linens can be a fun country pastime since you don't have quick access to the store. Watch some videos online or take a course on how to use a sewing machine. After that, try reading a pattern. Start with something basic, like a pillow, before jumping into something like a shirt or dress.\\nFor a simple sewing project, place 2 squares of fabric together with the wrong side out. Sew around the outside 0.25 inches (0.64 cm) from the edges. Leave 4 to 5 inches (10 to 13 cm) unsewn and turn it inside out. Stuff the inside, then use a slip stitch to finish your pillow.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plant a garden\", \"描述\": \"Gardening is a long-standing country tradition since you have the space to grow your own food. To start a garden, begin your seeds in potting soil 2 weeks before the last frost, which you can look up online. Till an area in a sunny location in your garden and mix in some compost for fertilizer. Plant your seedlings in the garden once they reach 4 to 6 inches (10 to 15 cm), noting how far they should be spaced apart on the seed package. Keep your garden watered throughout the summer.\\nSome vegetables will be ready to harvest in mid-summer, such as tomatoes and lettuce. You can also plant lettuce at 2 different times so you have it available for longer.\\nTry veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelon, and lettuce.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Raise chickens or other farm animals.\", \"描述\": \"Raising animals is popular in the country because you have the space and time to do it. Farm animals can be a source of food (chicken eggs) and milk (goats or cows). Research the animals you'd like to raise, and then put together a proper habitat for them. You'll also need to research food, medical care, and supplements.\\nChickens and ducks are both easy to raise, though chickens will need a coop to roost in at night. Goats and cows will need to be milked each day and will also need a habitat.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,662 | How to Be Coy | 1. Attracting a Guy
1-1. Smile shyly at him.
If a new, cute guy has just approached you, smile softly at him. You don't want to seem overly eager or too enthusiastic. This might scare him away. Just grin at him, batting your eyelashes a few times. He'll know that you are at least somewhat interested in him but aren't desperate for his company. This will make you seem approachable without seeming overzealous.
This works on a guy across the room as well. If you see a guy who you want to come talk to you, smile at him across the room, making eye contact. This will send out the signal that you see him and are open to him talking to you.
1-2. Flirt with your eyes.
Using your eyes is a great way to attract the attention of a guy. When you first meet a guy, don't stare at him too much and look over too eager for his company. Bat your eyes at him, looking away only to sneak looks back at him. This will let him know you are interested and playful but not desperate. Give him a smoldering look as he says something nice to you. You want him to know that you like what you are seeing when you look at him.
If you are on your morning train commute or in the grocery store and you see a guy you like, try making eye contact. When he looks up at you, hold his gaze for a second, but then look away. Then, look back at him and wait for him to look back at you. Once you catch his eye again, smile at him shyly and then look away again. Try to let him know your interested without looking desperate. He will eventually get that you think he's cute and come talk to you.
1-3. Use body language.
Coming off as coy has a lot of do with your body language. When you interact with him, you want to let him know you are interested without telling him. Stand or sit closer to him as you talk. When you want to tell him something, lean closer to him and say it in his ear. Find a way to touch him, such as leaning on him for support while you fix your shoe or try to regain your balance. When you are thinking about an answer to a question, bite your lip or put your finger near your mouth. This will make you look alluring.
Being subtle in your body movements toward him does not mean you need to hang all over him. Make subtle advances into his personal space, but make sure you read his signals. You don't want to give off desperate vibes or come on too strong.
1-4. Change your wardrobe.
You don't have to wear revealing clothing to attract the guy you have your eye on. When you go out with your friends, wear something feminine that reveals just enough to peak a guy's interest. Wear a shorter skirt with a blouse that covers you or show a bit of cleavage in a modest length dress. This will be alluring without being trashy. You don't want to seem overzealous, easy, or desperate for attention, but you want to catch his eye.
Pair these outfit ideas with a nice pair of high heels and a coy, innocent smile. The high heels will make you look amazing and catch his attention. This will make you seem confident but sweet, which will pull his attention to you.
1-5. Play with your hair.
A great way to come off as coy is to play with your hair. While he is talking, twirl your hair with your fingers. You can also gently run your hands through your hair with a flirty smile on your lips. This makes you look slightly nervous, which will let him know that you are interested in him.
Don't do this too much. Subtly act nervous and slightly jittery, so he thinks you are nervous. You don't want him to think that you are bored or uninterested.
2. Keeping Your Boyfriend Guessing
2-1. Don't be too available.
Even if he is your boyfriend, you don't want to seem like you have no life outside your relationship. When he asks you to hang out, don't accept his terms every time he asks. Refuse the times or days every so often, telling him you have plans with your friends or are too busy. Try to reschedule for another time, one that works for both of you. That way, he knows you have a life outside of him but lets him know that you are still interested.
This can be applied to electronic means of communication as well. In the current age of social media and electronics, it is easier than ever to get in touch with each other. Don't jump to respond every time he texts, calls, or tweets you. Make him work a little for your attention, which will make you seem more alluring and interesting.
2-2. Avoid oversharing.
When you are dating someone, you want to get to know them. However, try to avoid oversharing about your life early on in your relationship. Don't lie or evade direct questions, but be coy about your answers, leaving him guessing about what else there is to know about you. Leave a little mystery for later in your relationship. You want to keep his attention by making him chase you, not annoyed because you talk too much.
If you are talking about your past, don't divulge every little detail about your life. He doesn't need to know about each embarrassing moment you had at school dances or information about each of your exes. You can also save the family history lessons for when you are farther along in your relationship. You want him to know you, not be able to write your family history.
2-3. Be playful.
Being playful is a great way to coyly flirt with your boyfriend. Even though you are together, flirting with him keeps your relationship fresh and exciting. Try to giggle at him when he tells a joke. While you and he are talking, playfully push him if he says something outrageous. You can be playful with the way you talk to him as well. Slip subtle, sexy compliments to him while you're in public, like: "You look great tonight. I wish we were not in a room full of people so I could show you how great." It's subtle enough to be coy and lets him know that he is on your mind.
2-4. Leave him wanting more.
Even if you've been dating for a long time, you always want to leave your boyfriend wanting more. Flirt with him all throughout your date, but leave him right after dinner is over. During your date, call attention to your body. Slowly rub your hand along your neck while you talk or bite your lip while you're looking over the menu at dinner. While you eat, gently nudge his foot under the table with yours, but pretend you don't notice. At the end of the date, hug him tightly, running your hands up and down his back. When he goes in to kiss you, lean to his ear and whisper "I had a great time." before turning around to leave. This will drive him crazy and make him want you more.
3. Forming Close Friendships
3-1. Stay aloof.
When you are in a group of people, don't jump into the conversation right away. Wait until you are introduced, then you can join the conversation a little bit at a time. You still don't want to be over exuberant, just talk to one or two people at a time. Make sure your body language doesn't seem closed off. You want to seem open to intimate conversation but not overly interested in every detail of each conversation.
This is true for the kinds of activities you undertake as well. Avoid loud parties or large clubs. Being coy means hanging on the sidelines, trying not to be noticed. You want instead to attend small, intimate gatherings.
3-2. Be private.
Whether it is at work with your colleagues or with people you don't know, you should keep to yourself. Don't divulge unnecessary information to people at work or tell them about your personal problems. If you are around your closest friends, feel free to talk about how your boyfriend dumped you or the problems you are having house training your new puppy. If you just met someone, however, keep your distance and keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You want to feel out how people are and how they act in order to know what kind of person they are before you try to instigate a friendship.
You should also try to avoid over sharing when asked questions. You don't want to divulge information about yourself to random people. Once you get to know someone, then you can start telling them more intimate details about yourself.
3-3. Avoid being the center of attention.
When you are trying to be coy, you don't want to be the center of attention. This goes for attitude and dress. You shouldn't wear clothes that try to grab the attention of those around you or put you in the center of the action. It is harder to make close friendships if you are constantly surrounded by tons of people. If you try to stick to the sidelines, those people that do notice you will be more likely to be interested in getting to know you for who you are.
3-4. Listen.
If you are typically on the outskirts, listen to those around you. Take in the information that others divulge Try to ease into new relationships, listening to what they say in order to get to know them better. Once they become more than just an acquaintance, you can open up around them and limit your coy, shy behavior when they are around.
Tips
If you can tell a guy is really not responding to your coy tactics, change your game plan. Not every guy will react the same way to these types of behaviors.[18]
X
Research source
You don't want to be too coy for too long. You want him to be more enraptured by you, not think you are losing interest or trying to get him to break up with you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Attracting a Guy\\n1-1. Smile shyly at him.\\nIf a new, cute guy has just approached you, smile softly at him. You don't want to seem overly eager or too enthusiastic. This might scare him away. Just grin at him, batting your eyelashes a few times. He'll know that you are at least somewhat interested in him but aren't desperate for his company. This will make you seem approachable without seeming overzealous.\\nThis works on a guy across the room as well. If you see a guy who you want to come talk to you, smile at him across the room, making eye contact. This will send out the signal that you see him and are open to him talking to you.\\n1-2. Flirt with your eyes.\\nUsing your eyes is a great way to attract the attention of a guy. When you first meet a guy, don't stare at him too much and look over too eager for his company. Bat your eyes at him, looking away only to sneak looks back at him. This will let him know you are interested and playful but not desperate. Give him a smoldering look as he says something nice to you. You want him to know that you like what you are seeing when you look at him.\\nIf you are on your morning train commute or in the grocery store and you see a guy you like, try making eye contact. When he looks up at you, hold his gaze for a second, but then look away. Then, look back at him and wait for him to look back at you. Once you catch his eye again, smile at him shyly and then look away again. Try to let him know your interested without looking desperate. He will eventually get that you think he's cute and come talk to you.\\n1-3. Use body language.\\nComing off as coy has a lot of do with your body language. When you interact with him, you want to let him know you are interested without telling him. Stand or sit closer to him as you talk. When you want to tell him something, lean closer to him and say it in his ear. Find a way to touch him, such as leaning on him for support while you fix your shoe or try to regain your balance. When you are thinking about an answer to a question, bite your lip or put your finger near your mouth. This will make you look alluring.\\nBeing subtle in your body movements toward him does not mean you need to hang all over him. Make subtle advances into his personal space, but make sure you read his signals. You don't want to give off desperate vibes or come on too strong.\\n1-4. Change your wardrobe.\\nYou don't have to wear revealing clothing to attract the guy you have your eye on. When you go out with your friends, wear something feminine that reveals just enough to peak a guy's interest. Wear a shorter skirt with a blouse that covers you or show a bit of cleavage in a modest length dress. This will be alluring without being trashy. You don't want to seem overzealous, easy, or desperate for attention, but you want to catch his eye.\\nPair these outfit ideas with a nice pair of high heels and a coy, innocent smile. The high heels will make you look amazing and catch his attention. This will make you seem confident but sweet, which will pull his attention to you.\\n1-5. Play with your hair.\\nA great way to come off as coy is to play with your hair. While he is talking, twirl your hair with your fingers. You can also gently run your hands through your hair with a flirty smile on your lips. This makes you look slightly nervous, which will let him know that you are interested in him.\\nDon't do this too much. Subtly act nervous and slightly jittery, so he thinks you are nervous. You don't want him to think that you are bored or uninterested.\\n2. Keeping Your Boyfriend Guessing\\n2-1. Don't be too available.\\nEven if he is your boyfriend, you don't want to seem like you have no life outside your relationship. When he asks you to hang out, don't accept his terms every time he asks. Refuse the times or days every so often, telling him you have plans with your friends or are too busy. Try to reschedule for another time, one that works for both of you. That way, he knows you have a life outside of him but lets him know that you are still interested.\\nThis can be applied to electronic means of communication as well. In the current age of social media and electronics, it is easier than ever to get in touch with each other. Don't jump to respond every time he texts, calls, or tweets you. Make him work a little for your attention, which will make you seem more alluring and interesting.\\n2-2. Avoid oversharing.\\nWhen you are dating someone, you want to get to know them. However, try to avoid oversharing about your life early on in your relationship. Don't lie or evade direct questions, but be coy about your answers, leaving him guessing about what else there is to know about you. Leave a little mystery for later in your relationship. You want to keep his attention by making him chase you, not annoyed because you talk too much.\\nIf you are talking about your past, don't divulge every little detail about your life. He doesn't need to know about each embarrassing moment you had at school dances or information about each of your exes. You can also save the family history lessons for when you are farther along in your relationship. You want him to know you, not be able to write your family history.\\n2-3. Be playful.\\nBeing playful is a great way to coyly flirt with your boyfriend. Even though you are together, flirting with him keeps your relationship fresh and exciting. Try to giggle at him when he tells a joke. While you and he are talking, playfully push him if he says something outrageous. You can be playful with the way you talk to him as well. Slip subtle, sexy compliments to him while you're in public, like: \\\"You look great tonight. I wish we were not in a room full of people so I could show you how great.\\\" It's subtle enough to be coy and lets him know that he is on your mind.\\n2-4. Leave him wanting more.\\nEven if you've been dating for a long time, you always want to leave your boyfriend wanting more. Flirt with him all throughout your date, but leave him right after dinner is over. During your date, call attention to your body. Slowly rub your hand along your neck while you talk or bite your lip while you're looking over the menu at dinner. While you eat, gently nudge his foot under the table with yours, but pretend you don't notice. At the end of the date, hug him tightly, running your hands up and down his back. When he goes in to kiss you, lean to his ear and whisper \\\"I had a great time.\\\" before turning around to leave. This will drive him crazy and make him want you more.\\n3. Forming Close Friendships\\n3-1. Stay aloof.\\nWhen you are in a group of people, don't jump into the conversation right away. Wait until you are introduced, then you can join the conversation a little bit at a time. You still don't want to be over exuberant, just talk to one or two people at a time. Make sure your body language doesn't seem closed off. You want to seem open to intimate conversation but not overly interested in every detail of each conversation.\\nThis is true for the kinds of activities you undertake as well. Avoid loud parties or large clubs. Being coy means hanging on the sidelines, trying not to be noticed. You want instead to attend small, intimate gatherings.\\n3-2. Be private.\\nWhether it is at work with your colleagues or with people you don't know, you should keep to yourself. Don't divulge unnecessary information to people at work or tell them about your personal problems. If you are around your closest friends, feel free to talk about how your boyfriend dumped you or the problems you are having house training your new puppy. If you just met someone, however, keep your distance and keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You want to feel out how people are and how they act in order to know what kind of person they are before you try to instigate a friendship.\\nYou should also try to avoid over sharing when asked questions. You don't want to divulge information about yourself to random people. Once you get to know someone, then you can start telling them more intimate details about yourself.\\n3-3. Avoid being the center of attention.\\nWhen you are trying to be coy, you don't want to be the center of attention. This goes for attitude and dress. You shouldn't wear clothes that try to grab the attention of those around you or put you in the center of the action. It is harder to make close friendships if you are constantly surrounded by tons of people. If you try to stick to the sidelines, those people that do notice you will be more likely to be interested in getting to know you for who you are.\\n3-4. Listen.\\nIf you are typically on the outskirts, listen to those around you. Take in the information that others divulge Try to ease into new relationships, listening to what they say in order to get to know them better. Once they become more than just an acquaintance, you can open up around them and limit your coy, shy behavior when they are around.\\nTips\\nIf you can tell a guy is really not responding to your coy tactics, change your game plan. Not every guy will react the same way to these types of behaviors.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nYou don't want to be too coy for too long. You want him to be more enraptured by you, not think you are losing interest or trying to get him to break up with you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can be coy in many ways, whether it be in your romantic or everyday life. It can help you attract a man or find meaningful friendships. In romance, being coy is a time honored method for attracting men. Some women are coy by nature, but others have to work to be coy. Whether you are trying to attract a guy, wanting to keep your boyfriend on his toes, or changing your everyday behavior, acting coy is simple if you just follow a few methods.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attracting a Guy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile shyly at him.\", \"描述\": \"If a new, cute guy has just approached you, smile softly at him. You don't want to seem overly eager or too enthusiastic. This might scare him away. Just grin at him, batting your eyelashes a few times. He'll know that you are at least somewhat interested in him but aren't desperate for his company. This will make you seem approachable without seeming overzealous.\\nThis works on a guy across the room as well. If you see a guy who you want to come talk to you, smile at him across the room, making eye contact. This will send out the signal that you see him and are open to him talking to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt with your eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Using your eyes is a great way to attract the attention of a guy. When you first meet a guy, don't stare at him too much and look over too eager for his company. Bat your eyes at him, looking away only to sneak looks back at him. This will let him know you are interested and playful but not desperate. Give him a smoldering look as he says something nice to you. You want him to know that you like what you are seeing when you look at him.\\nIf you are on your morning train commute or in the grocery store and you see a guy you like, try making eye contact. When he looks up at you, hold his gaze for a second, but then look away. Then, look back at him and wait for him to look back at you. Once you catch his eye again, smile at him shyly and then look away again. Try to let him know your interested without looking desperate. He will eventually get that you think he's cute and come talk to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use body language.\", \"描述\": \"Coming off as coy has a lot of do with your body language. When you interact with him, you want to let him know you are interested without telling him. Stand or sit closer to him as you talk. When you want to tell him something, lean closer to him and say it in his ear. Find a way to touch him, such as leaning on him for support while you fix your shoe or try to regain your balance. When you are thinking about an answer to a question, bite your lip or put your finger near your mouth. This will make you look alluring.\\nBeing subtle in your body movements toward him does not mean you need to hang all over him. Make subtle advances into his personal space, but make sure you read his signals. You don't want to give off desperate vibes or come on too strong.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Change your wardrobe.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to wear revealing clothing to attract the guy you have your eye on. When you go out with your friends, wear something feminine that reveals just enough to peak a guy's interest. Wear a shorter skirt with a blouse that covers you or show a bit of cleavage in a modest length dress. This will be alluring without being trashy. You don't want to seem overzealous, easy, or desperate for attention, but you want to catch his eye.\\nPair these outfit ideas with a nice pair of high heels and a coy, innocent smile. The high heels will make you look amazing and catch his attention. This will make you seem confident but sweet, which will pull his attention to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play with your hair.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to come off as coy is to play with your hair. While he is talking, twirl your hair with your fingers. You can also gently run your hands through your hair with a flirty smile on your lips. This makes you look slightly nervous, which will let him know that you are interested in him.\\nDon't do this too much. Subtly act nervous and slightly jittery, so he thinks you are nervous. You don't want him to think that you are bored or uninterested.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Boyfriend Guessing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be too available.\", \"描述\": \"Even if he is your boyfriend, you don't want to seem like you have no life outside your relationship. When he asks you to hang out, don't accept his terms every time he asks. Refuse the times or days every so often, telling him you have plans with your friends or are too busy. Try to reschedule for another time, one that works for both of you. That way, he knows you have a life outside of him but lets him know that you are still interested.\\nThis can be applied to electronic means of communication as well. In the current age of social media and electronics, it is easier than ever to get in touch with each other. Don't jump to respond every time he texts, calls, or tweets you. Make him work a little for your attention, which will make you seem more alluring and interesting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid oversharing.\", \"描述\": \"When you are dating someone, you want to get to know them. However, try to avoid oversharing about your life early on in your relationship. Don't lie or evade direct questions, but be coy about your answers, leaving him guessing about what else there is to know about you. Leave a little mystery for later in your relationship. You want to keep his attention by making him chase you, not annoyed because you talk too much.\\nIf you are talking about your past, don't divulge every little detail about your life. He doesn't need to know about each embarrassing moment you had at school dances or information about each of your exes. You can also save the family history lessons for when you are farther along in your relationship. You want him to know you, not be able to write your family history.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be playful.\", \"描述\": \"Being playful is a great way to coyly flirt with your boyfriend. Even though you are together, flirting with him keeps your relationship fresh and exciting. Try to giggle at him when he tells a joke. While you and he are talking, playfully push him if he says something outrageous. You can be playful with the way you talk to him as well. Slip subtle, sexy compliments to him while you're in public, like: \\\"You look great tonight. I wish we were not in a room full of people so I could show you how great.\\\" It's subtle enough to be coy and lets him know that he is on your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave him wanting more.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you've been dating for a long time, you always want to leave your boyfriend wanting more. Flirt with him all throughout your date, but leave him right after dinner is over. During your date, call attention to your body. Slowly rub your hand along your neck while you talk or bite your lip while you're looking over the menu at dinner. While you eat, gently nudge his foot under the table with yours, but pretend you don't notice. At the end of the date, hug him tightly, running your hands up and down his back. When he goes in to kiss you, lean to his ear and whisper \\\"I had a great time.\\\" before turning around to leave. This will drive him crazy and make him want you more.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forming Close Friendships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay aloof.\", \"描述\": \"When you are in a group of people, don't jump into the conversation right away. Wait until you are introduced, then you can join the conversation a little bit at a time. You still don't want to be over exuberant, just talk to one or two people at a time. Make sure your body language doesn't seem closed off. You want to seem open to intimate conversation but not overly interested in every detail of each conversation.\\nThis is true for the kinds of activities you undertake as well. Avoid loud parties or large clubs. Being coy means hanging on the sidelines, trying not to be noticed. You want instead to attend small, intimate gatherings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be private.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it is at work with your colleagues or with people you don't know, you should keep to yourself. Don't divulge unnecessary information to people at work or tell them about your personal problems. If you are around your closest friends, feel free to talk about how your boyfriend dumped you or the problems you are having house training your new puppy. If you just met someone, however, keep your distance and keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You want to feel out how people are and how they act in order to know what kind of person they are before you try to instigate a friendship.\\nYou should also try to avoid over sharing when asked questions. You don't want to divulge information about yourself to random people. Once you get to know someone, then you can start telling them more intimate details about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid being the center of attention.\", \"描述\": \"When you are trying to be coy, you don't want to be the center of attention. This goes for attitude and dress. You shouldn't wear clothes that try to grab the attention of those around you or put you in the center of the action. It is harder to make close friendships if you are constantly surrounded by tons of people. If you try to stick to the sidelines, those people that do notice you will be more likely to be interested in getting to know you for who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"If you are typically on the outskirts, listen to those around you. Take in the information that others divulge Try to ease into new relationships, listening to what they say in order to get to know them better. Once they become more than just an acquaintance, you can open up around them and limit your coy, shy behavior when they are around.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you can tell a guy is really not responding to your coy tactics, change your game plan. Not every guy will react the same way to these types of behaviors.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"You don't want to be too coy for too long. You want him to be more enraptured by you, not think you are losing interest or trying to get him to break up with you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,663 | 11 Subtle Flirty Texts to Intrigue Your Crush | 1. Use their name.
Dropping the person’s name shows that you’re thinking of them.
You don’t need to use their name in every message, but saying it a few times here and there signals that you’re interested in them. You could say their name whenever you ask a question or when you’re signing off for the night. Some things you might try include:
“It was so nice talking to you, Bryan.”
“Hey Alex, how are you doing today?”
“Oh that sounds like so much fun, Cammy!”
2. Tease them.
Act playful and flirty so the person wants to keep talking.
While you shouldn’t be mean or pick on the person, it can be fun to poke a little fun every now and then. You could repeat something they said earlier as a joke or make a playful comment about something silly they just said. Try to add an emoji or smiley face to let them know that you’re only joking around so they don’t feel hurt by what you’re saying.
For example, you could send something like, “OMG, you’re such a goof for saying that!”
As another example, if another person made a typo earlier on, you could use the misspelled word again in your message and add a winky face, like “Oh yeah, tell me more about how much ‘fum’ you had ;)”
3. Ask them more questions.
Get the other person to open up more so you’re not the center of attention.
If you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore, send the person some questions of your own. Try to learn as much as you can about the other person and get them talking about themselves. Ask some interesting questions about their life, where they grew up, or the things they like to do. The person may be so caught up replying to you that they’ll forget to ask about you, so they’ll have to reach out again. Some questions you could try include:
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“What was the best part of your day today?”
“What’s something you’re most proud of?”
“How was growing up in your hometown?”
4. Say something a little sensual.
Make the person want you even more with a suggestive comment.
Don’t come off too strong by sexting or saying something really inappropriate. Keep it subtle and a bit open-ended to get the person’s imagination going. Take this chance to flirt and let them know you’re interested without being too direct. For example, you could try saying:
“Can you guess what I dreamt about last night? ;)”
“I was just thinking about you…”
“I can think of one way to make my day a little better.”
5. Mention things you like to do briefly.
Hint at what you do in your free time to keep the person intrigued.
You don’t need to tell the person every detail about what you did last night or the hobbies you have. Casually bring up what you like to do so you get their attention, but don’t feel like you need to explain everything. You don’t have to be extremely secretive, but keep it a little mysterious. That way, the person knows what you like to do, but they’ll still want to keep in touch so they can learn even more about it.
For example, you could say, “My day was good! I just ran some errands and now I’m watching TV.” Here, you don’t mention what errands you ran or what you’re watching, so it makes the person wonder about you more.
As another example, you might try, “I just got back from seeing some friends.” You don’t need to mention who you were with or what you were doing with them.
6. Reveal more about yourself over time.
Keep your life a little mysterious so the person wants to learn more about you.
The other person probably wants to get to know you better, but you shouldn’t rush into telling them everything. If they ask a question about your life, give them an answer so you don’t seem rude. Just tell them a few details so they have to keep prying and talking to you to learn more. Avoid going into your whole life story and bringing up past relationships right away since you can build up to that later on.
For example, if the person asks where you’re from, you could just say something like, “Just a small town in southern California. You?”
As another example, you might say, “I have a couple of younger siblings at home,” but you don’t have to mention their names, ages, or where “back home” is.
7. Make yourself seem busy.
Tell the person that you already have plans so you don’t seem as available.
If the person asks you to hang out or chat, let them know that you’re already doing something else, even if you’re not. You don’t have to tell them what you have going on if you don’t want to, and that could make you seem even more mysterious. Make sure you don’t do this every time the person asks though, or else they won’t think you’re interested. A few times here and there is enough to make the person more curious about what you have going on.
For example, you could say something like, “Hey sorry, I already have a few things going on today so I can’t hang out.”
As another example, you might try, “I’d love to hang out, but I’m a bit busy right now.”
Try to reschedule a new time so the person doesn’t think you’re disinterested. For example, you might say, “Dang, it isn’t a good time for me right now. Can we talk tomorrow?”
8. Wait to text them back.
Keep them waiting between messages so they have a chance to miss you.
While it’s nice to have a quick conversation and reply right away, you could come across as too eager or excited. Instead, leave their message on read and take your time responding. Unless they bring up something that’s really time-dependent, give it about an hour or two before you reply to make it seem like you’re doing other important things.
Still try to message the person within a day of receiving their message. Otherwise, it could come across that you don’t really care and they may feel hurt.
9. Try not to overreact to things.
Keep your cool talking to the other person so you seem more mysterious.
If the person sees that you’re too eager or excited from talking to them, it could potentially turn them off. You should tell the person how you’re feeling, but take a deep breath and reread your message to make sure it doesn’t come off too strong.
For example, if the person mentions that they like you, don’t say something like, “I’m so obsessed with you.” Instead, try something like, “I’m feeling a bit of a connection too :)”.
10. Keep your messages short and sweet.
Short texts make the person want to reach out more often.
A long message can be pretty revealing, so shorten up your texts so you seem more mysterious. That doesn’t mean responding to everything with 1- or 2-word replies, but it does mean only saying the information you need to get across. If you’re typing out a long reply, look for what’s the most important thing in the message and shorten it down. That way, they’ll keep texting you for more information.
For example, you could say something like, “Yeah, I had a lot of fun today with my friends.” This lets the person know what you did, but it doesn’t give them any additional details.
As another example, rather than going into a long rant about a bad day at work, you could just say something like, “Ugh, it was not a good day at work.”
11. Act a little distant after being affectionate.
Shift your attention to something else to seem like you don’t need the person.
After giving them a little bit of attention, take a little break from messaging the person or talking about deep topics. Use short responses and try not to flirt with them at all for a little while to keep the person wanting more. While it may seem like you’re sending some mixed messages, it might actually intrigue the person so they’re more willing to reach out to you again.
Warnings
Avoid acting coy or playing hard to get all the time because the other person might think that you’re just playing with their feelings.[15]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Use their name.\\nDropping the person’s name shows that you’re thinking of them.\\nYou don’t need to use their name in every message, but saying it a few times here and there signals that you’re interested in them. You could say their name whenever you ask a question or when you’re signing off for the night. Some things you might try include:\\n“It was so nice talking to you, Bryan.”\\n“Hey Alex, how are you doing today?”\\n“Oh that sounds like so much fun, Cammy!”\\n2. Tease them.\\nAct playful and flirty so the person wants to keep talking.\\nWhile you shouldn’t be mean or pick on the person, it can be fun to poke a little fun every now and then. You could repeat something they said earlier as a joke or make a playful comment about something silly they just said. Try to add an emoji or smiley face to let them know that you’re only joking around so they don’t feel hurt by what you’re saying.\\nFor example, you could send something like, “OMG, you’re such a goof for saying that!”\\nAs another example, if another person made a typo earlier on, you could use the misspelled word again in your message and add a winky face, like “Oh yeah, tell me more about how much ‘fum’ you had ;)”\\n3. Ask them more questions.\\nGet the other person to open up more so you’re not the center of attention.\\nIf you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore, send the person some questions of your own. Try to learn as much as you can about the other person and get them talking about themselves. Ask some interesting questions about their life, where they grew up, or the things they like to do. The person may be so caught up replying to you that they’ll forget to ask about you, so they’ll have to reach out again. Some questions you could try include:\\n“What’s your favorite movie?”\\n“What was the best part of your day today?”\\n“What’s something you’re most proud of?”\\n“How was growing up in your hometown?”\\n4. Say something a little sensual.\\nMake the person want you even more with a suggestive comment.\\nDon’t come off too strong by sexting or saying something really inappropriate. Keep it subtle and a bit open-ended to get the person’s imagination going. Take this chance to flirt and let them know you’re interested without being too direct. For example, you could try saying:\\n“Can you guess what I dreamt about last night? ;)”\\n“I was just thinking about you…”\\n“I can think of one way to make my day a little better.”\\n5. Mention things you like to do briefly.\\nHint at what you do in your free time to keep the person intrigued.\\nYou don’t need to tell the person every detail about what you did last night or the hobbies you have. Casually bring up what you like to do so you get their attention, but don’t feel like you need to explain everything. You don’t have to be extremely secretive, but keep it a little mysterious. That way, the person knows what you like to do, but they’ll still want to keep in touch so they can learn even more about it.\\nFor example, you could say, “My day was good! I just ran some errands and now I’m watching TV.” Here, you don’t mention what errands you ran or what you’re watching, so it makes the person wonder about you more.\\nAs another example, you might try, “I just got back from seeing some friends.” You don’t need to mention who you were with or what you were doing with them.\\n6. Reveal more about yourself over time.\\nKeep your life a little mysterious so the person wants to learn more about you.\\nThe other person probably wants to get to know you better, but you shouldn’t rush into telling them everything. If they ask a question about your life, give them an answer so you don’t seem rude. Just tell them a few details so they have to keep prying and talking to you to learn more. Avoid going into your whole life story and bringing up past relationships right away since you can build up to that later on.\\nFor example, if the person asks where you’re from, you could just say something like, “Just a small town in southern California. You?”\\nAs another example, you might say, “I have a couple of younger siblings at home,” but you don’t have to mention their names, ages, or where “back home” is.\\n7. Make yourself seem busy.\\nTell the person that you already have plans so you don’t seem as available.\\nIf the person asks you to hang out or chat, let them know that you’re already doing something else, even if you’re not. You don’t have to tell them what you have going on if you don’t want to, and that could make you seem even more mysterious. Make sure you don’t do this every time the person asks though, or else they won’t think you’re interested. A few times here and there is enough to make the person more curious about what you have going on.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Hey sorry, I already have a few things going on today so I can’t hang out.”\\nAs another example, you might try, “I’d love to hang out, but I’m a bit busy right now.”\\nTry to reschedule a new time so the person doesn’t think you’re disinterested. For example, you might say, “Dang, it isn’t a good time for me right now. Can we talk tomorrow?”\\n8. Wait to text them back.\\nKeep them waiting between messages so they have a chance to miss you.\\nWhile it’s nice to have a quick conversation and reply right away, you could come across as too eager or excited. Instead, leave their message on read and take your time responding. Unless they bring up something that’s really time-dependent, give it about an hour or two before you reply to make it seem like you’re doing other important things.\\nStill try to message the person within a day of receiving their message. Otherwise, it could come across that you don’t really care and they may feel hurt.\\n9. Try not to overreact to things.\\nKeep your cool talking to the other person so you seem more mysterious.\\nIf the person sees that you’re too eager or excited from talking to them, it could potentially turn them off. You should tell the person how you’re feeling, but take a deep breath and reread your message to make sure it doesn’t come off too strong.\\nFor example, if the person mentions that they like you, don’t say something like, “I’m so obsessed with you.” Instead, try something like, “I’m feeling a bit of a connection too :)”.\\n10. Keep your messages short and sweet.\\nShort texts make the person want to reach out more often.\\nA long message can be pretty revealing, so shorten up your texts so you seem more mysterious. That doesn’t mean responding to everything with 1- or 2-word replies, but it does mean only saying the information you need to get across. If you’re typing out a long reply, look for what’s the most important thing in the message and shorten it down. That way, they’ll keep texting you for more information.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Yeah, I had a lot of fun today with my friends.” This lets the person know what you did, but it doesn’t give them any additional details.\\nAs another example, rather than going into a long rant about a bad day at work, you could just say something like, “Ugh, it was not a good day at work.”\\n11. Act a little distant after being affectionate.\\nShift your attention to something else to seem like you don’t need the person.\\nAfter giving them a little bit of attention, take a little break from messaging the person or talking about deep topics. Use short responses and try not to flirt with them at all for a little while to keep the person wanting more. While it may seem like you’re sending some mixed messages, it might actually intrigue the person so they’re more willing to reach out to you again.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid acting coy or playing hard to get all the time because the other person might think that you’re just playing with their feelings.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re messaging someone you like, we know it can be a little tricky figuring out what to say without coming off too strong. If you want to keep the person on their toes, acting coy can make you seem even more mysterious and desirable. Keep reading for a ton of helpful tips and example messages for you to send to help you play a little hard to get!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use their name.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dropping the person’s name shows that you’re thinking of them.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to use their name in every message, but saying it a few times here and there signals that you’re interested in them. You could say their name whenever you ask a question or when you’re signing off for the night. Some things you might try include:\\n“It was so nice talking to you, Bryan.”\\n“Hey Alex, how are you doing today?”\\n“Oh that sounds like so much fun, Cammy!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tease them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act playful and flirty so the person wants to keep talking.\", \"描述\": \"While you shouldn’t be mean or pick on the person, it can be fun to poke a little fun every now and then. You could repeat something they said earlier as a joke or make a playful comment about something silly they just said. Try to add an emoji or smiley face to let them know that you’re only joking around so they don’t feel hurt by what you’re saying.\\nFor example, you could send something like, “OMG, you’re such a goof for saying that!”\\nAs another example, if another person made a typo earlier on, you could use the misspelled word again in your message and add a winky face, like “Oh yeah, tell me more about how much ‘fum’ you had ;)”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them more questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get the other person to open up more so you’re not the center of attention.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore, send the person some questions of your own. Try to learn as much as you can about the other person and get them talking about themselves. Ask some interesting questions about their life, where they grew up, or the things they like to do. The person may be so caught up replying to you that they’ll forget to ask about you, so they’ll have to reach out again. Some questions you could try include:\\n“What’s your favorite movie?”\\n“What was the best part of your day today?”\\n“What’s something you’re most proud of?”\\n“How was growing up in your hometown?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say something a little sensual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the person want you even more with a suggestive comment.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t come off too strong by sexting or saying something really inappropriate. Keep it subtle and a bit open-ended to get the person’s imagination going. Take this chance to flirt and let them know you’re interested without being too direct. For example, you could try saying:\\n“Can you guess what I dreamt about last night? ;)”\\n“I was just thinking about you…”\\n“I can think of one way to make my day a little better.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Mention things you like to do briefly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hint at what you do in your free time to keep the person intrigued.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to tell the person every detail about what you did last night or the hobbies you have. Casually bring up what you like to do so you get their attention, but don’t feel like you need to explain everything. You don’t have to be extremely secretive, but keep it a little mysterious. That way, the person knows what you like to do, but they’ll still want to keep in touch so they can learn even more about it.\\nFor example, you could say, “My day was good! I just ran some errands and now I’m watching TV.” Here, you don’t mention what errands you ran or what you’re watching, so it makes the person wonder about you more.\\nAs another example, you might try, “I just got back from seeing some friends.” You don’t need to mention who you were with or what you were doing with them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reveal more about yourself over time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your life a little mysterious so the person wants to learn more about you.\", \"描述\": \"The other person probably wants to get to know you better, but you shouldn’t rush into telling them everything. If they ask a question about your life, give them an answer so you don’t seem rude. Just tell them a few details so they have to keep prying and talking to you to learn more. Avoid going into your whole life story and bringing up past relationships right away since you can build up to that later on.\\nFor example, if the person asks where you’re from, you could just say something like, “Just a small town in southern California. You?”\\nAs another example, you might say, “I have a couple of younger siblings at home,” but you don’t have to mention their names, ages, or where “back home” is.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make yourself seem busy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell the person that you already have plans so you don’t seem as available.\", \"描述\": \"If the person asks you to hang out or chat, let them know that you’re already doing something else, even if you’re not. You don’t have to tell them what you have going on if you don’t want to, and that could make you seem even more mysterious. Make sure you don’t do this every time the person asks though, or else they won’t think you’re interested. A few times here and there is enough to make the person more curious about what you have going on.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Hey sorry, I already have a few things going on today so I can’t hang out.”\\nAs another example, you might try, “I’d love to hang out, but I’m a bit busy right now.”\\nTry to reschedule a new time so the person doesn’t think you’re disinterested. For example, you might say, “Dang, it isn’t a good time for me right now. Can we talk tomorrow?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Wait to text them back.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep them waiting between messages so they have a chance to miss you.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s nice to have a quick conversation and reply right away, you could come across as too eager or excited. Instead, leave their message on read and take your time responding. Unless they bring up something that’s really time-dependent, give it about an hour or two before you reply to make it seem like you’re doing other important things.\\nStill try to message the person within a day of receiving their message. Otherwise, it could come across that you don’t really care and they may feel hurt.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Try not to overreact to things.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your cool talking to the other person so you seem more mysterious.\", \"描述\": \"If the person sees that you’re too eager or excited from talking to them, it could potentially turn them off. You should tell the person how you’re feeling, but take a deep breath and reread your message to make sure it doesn’t come off too strong.\\nFor example, if the person mentions that they like you, don’t say something like, “I’m so obsessed with you.” Instead, try something like, “I’m feeling a bit of a connection too :)”.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep your messages short and sweet.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Short texts make the person want to reach out more often.\", \"描述\": \"A long message can be pretty revealing, so shorten up your texts so you seem more mysterious. That doesn’t mean responding to everything with 1- or 2-word replies, but it does mean only saying the information you need to get across. If you’re typing out a long reply, look for what’s the most important thing in the message and shorten it down. That way, they’ll keep texting you for more information.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Yeah, I had a lot of fun today with my friends.” This lets the person know what you did, but it doesn’t give them any additional details.\\nAs another example, rather than going into a long rant about a bad day at work, you could just say something like, “Ugh, it was not a good day at work.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Act a little distant after being affectionate.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shift your attention to something else to seem like you don’t need the person.\", \"描述\": \"After giving them a little bit of attention, take a little break from messaging the person or talking about deep topics. Use short responses and try not to flirt with them at all for a little while to keep the person wanting more. While it may seem like you’re sending some mixed messages, it might actually intrigue the person so they’re more willing to reach out to you again.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid acting coy or playing hard to get all the time because the other person might think that you’re just playing with their feelings.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,664 | How to Be Creative | 1. Challenging Yourself with Creative Exercises
1-1. Do the 30 circle test.
You can do this test during dull moments at work. It helps you push yourself to think quickly and creatively. To start, draw 30 circles. From there, make as many circles into drawings as possible in one minute. You can do the test over and over again, trying to break your record each time.
The 30 Circle Test helps boost creativity because it forces you to embrace multiple ideas. Many people have a tendency to self-edit and pause to wonder if something is a good idea. The 30 Circle Test forces you to think fast, forcing you to experiment with ideas without rejecting them.
For printable sheets of empty circles, do an Internet search for "30 circles printable".
1-2. Doodle in your spare time.
Doodling is sometimes thought of as a childish pastime, but it can actually help increase productivity. This can increase creativity by increasing your engagement with the world and attention span. Doodling helps you stay engaged during activities where you would otherwise zone out. The more information you're able to absorb, the more creative you will be.
Doodle during activities where you feel your mind wandering. For example, if you find yourself drifting out of focus during a meeting at work, do some doodling. You can also doodle in school during boring lectures.
Try keeping a sketchbook where you doodle when you start to feel bored or disengaged.
1-3. Write flash fiction.
Flash fiction means very short stories, often no more than 100 words. Writing a flash fiction story will help you become more creative as you'll be forced to tell a fleshed out story with a beginning, middle, and end using only a small number of words. This will help you learn how to convey necessary information in a limited space.
There are many flash fiction writing communities online. Try getting involved with a flash fiction writing community and responding to prompts and participating in contests.
1-4. Listen to music.
Simply playing music in the background can inspire you creatively. It can help you focus better and increase your overall concentration. Classical music tends to work particularly well for creativity and concentration.
Not every genre of music works for everyone. While classical music has beneficial effects for many, experiment a little to find the music that best helps you concentrate and feel creative.
1-5. Make something with your hands.
Using your hands to create means you get information from all of your senses. This can help encourage more creative thinking. If you want to feel more creative, try activities in which you create using your hands. For example, try something like knitting, sewing, or other crafts to bolster your creativity.
Other activities like arranging your bedroom, cooking, calligraphy—anything that has an inkling of creativity—can help you build your creative muscles.
1-6. Play video games.
Some video games are actually good for the creative mind. Interactive games that require movement as these stimulate multiple senses help with creative thinking. Things like Wii Tennis or Dance Dance Revolution would work well. Avoid games that require you to sit for long periods.
1-7. Read more.
Reading is great for your creative mind. Make a habit of reading regularly. Pick books from multiple genres and styles of writing to expand your horizons and really bolster your creativity. Try to make time to read every day.
Try joining a book club. This will help direct your reading if you're unsure what kinds of books to start with.
Get a library card. This will help you save some money on books.
2. Broadening Your Knowledge
2-1. Develop your expertise.
Part of being creative is gaining expertise in one area or medium and learning as much as you can about it. Begin by reading articles and watching videos on the subject to gather more information about it. If possible, sign up for an introductory course at a local college or community centre (e.g. a beginner painting class).
Inspire yourself by experiencing the creative works of others in a medium that interests you. For instance, if you are learning how to paint, visit a museum or art gallery.
2-2. Be open to new experiences.
The most creative people are willing to engage with multiple ideas, broaden their horizons, and be surprised. Avoid resisting and dismissing things that are unfamiliar to you, and accept opportunities to try new creative endeavors. For instance, attempt a medium like clay sculpting even if you believe that you will dislike it or be bad at it.
2-3. Use play to foster creativity.
Being more childlike can help your creative side by freeing you from adult hang ups for a while and opening your mind. Use toys and art supplies to stimulate your imagination and make new connections. If you're short on creative ideas, take the time to draw a whimsical picture or play with building blocks or legos.
2-4. Share and explain your knowledge.
They say that you remember 90% of what you learned by teaching it to someone else. Explaining your newfound knowledge to yourself and others can help to cement it in your own mind. While you are learning something new, make a point of explaining it to yourself in your head. Picture yourself giving a TED talk or tutoring someone on the topic.
If you feel particularly confident, make a video about the topic to post online, or explain your knowledge to a friend or colleague.
2-5. Prompt yourself to think of new ideas.
Engage in activities that actively force you to think of new ideas. For instance, play word association games by writing down one word and then any words that connect to it. Use analogy to find similarities between two seemingly dissimilar things to break down and examine your associations with each.
For instance, look for similarities between a textbook and an iPod.
If you feel stuck, try some word association games or search for synonyms online.
A similar idea is a game sometimes called "Word Melt", in which you change words into other words, by changing one letter at a time. For example — WORD → WARD → WART → WALT → MALT → MELT
2-6. Set aside time for brainstorming.
Creativity takes practice, so set aside time each day to retreat to a quiet or inspiring place to generate new ideas. For instance, visit a quiet park or sit in a library and let your mind flow freely. Write all of your ideas (good or bad) in a notebook, on a whiteboard, or on your computer without stopping to edit or rethink them.
Find a time that will work for you regularly. If you always have time after dinner, for example, take an hour after dinnertime to turn off distractions and engage with new ideas.
You don't even have to know what you're going to do with this brainstorming time. Just let yourself be. Let whatever inspiration comes come, and if none does, keep going and eventually it will.
3. Changing Your Lifestyle
3-1. Socialize with different people.
To give your creativity a jump-start, socialize as much as you can, particularly with people who are different from you. Spending time with people whose life experience and world view is unlike yours can expand your mind and offer fresh perspective on everyday things. To meet new people, attend events or do activities that are outside of your normal routine and engage in conversation whenever possible.
For instance, if the art world is new to you, visit a gallery or museum and strike up a conversation with an artist or patron. Break the ice by saying something like, "I'm new to the art world. Is this a passion of yours?"
Try varying your established routes to increase the chances you’ll meet new people.
3-2. Walk
Walking can provide you time to think over ideas by allowing you to zone out and engage with creative thoughts. Walking will also allow you to engage with new surroundings or nature, both of which may inspire your creativity. Make a point of walking several times a week for at least fifteen minutes, or everyday if possible.
3-3. Exercise
Exercising regularly can boost creativity by reducing stress and improving cognitive function. Create an exercise regimen for yourself to follow, aiming for about 30 minutes of exercise a day. Choose light cardio exercise like walking, jogging, or bicycling.
3-4. Get enough sleep.
Sleep can help your mind stay rested and refreshed, leaving you creatively recharged. The brain is also very active during sleep, so "sleeping on a problem" may allow your mind to re-evaluate connections and formulate new ideas about an issue.Strive to get a solid 8 to 9 hours sleep each night, and stay on a sleep schedule.
Tips
If you feel lacking in creativity, finding ways to exercise the right side of your brain could be helpful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Challenging Yourself with Creative Exercises\\n1-1. Do the 30 circle test.\\nYou can do this test during dull moments at work. It helps you push yourself to think quickly and creatively. To start, draw 30 circles. From there, make as many circles into drawings as possible in one minute. You can do the test over and over again, trying to break your record each time.\\nThe 30 Circle Test helps boost creativity because it forces you to embrace multiple ideas. Many people have a tendency to self-edit and pause to wonder if something is a good idea. The 30 Circle Test forces you to think fast, forcing you to experiment with ideas without rejecting them.\\nFor printable sheets of empty circles, do an Internet search for \\\"30 circles printable\\\".\\n1-2. Doodle in your spare time.\\nDoodling is sometimes thought of as a childish pastime, but it can actually help increase productivity. This can increase creativity by increasing your engagement with the world and attention span. Doodling helps you stay engaged during activities where you would otherwise zone out. The more information you're able to absorb, the more creative you will be.\\nDoodle during activities where you feel your mind wandering. For example, if you find yourself drifting out of focus during a meeting at work, do some doodling. You can also doodle in school during boring lectures.\\nTry keeping a sketchbook where you doodle when you start to feel bored or disengaged.\\n1-3. Write flash fiction.\\nFlash fiction means very short stories, often no more than 100 words. Writing a flash fiction story will help you become more creative as you'll be forced to tell a fleshed out story with a beginning, middle, and end using only a small number of words. This will help you learn how to convey necessary information in a limited space.\\nThere are many flash fiction writing communities online. Try getting involved with a flash fiction writing community and responding to prompts and participating in contests.\\n1-4. Listen to music.\\nSimply playing music in the background can inspire you creatively. It can help you focus better and increase your overall concentration. Classical music tends to work particularly well for creativity and concentration.\\nNot every genre of music works for everyone. While classical music has beneficial effects for many, experiment a little to find the music that best helps you concentrate and feel creative.\\n1-5. Make something with your hands.\\nUsing your hands to create means you get information from all of your senses. This can help encourage more creative thinking. If you want to feel more creative, try activities in which you create using your hands. For example, try something like knitting, sewing, or other crafts to bolster your creativity.\\nOther activities like arranging your bedroom, cooking, calligraphy—anything that has an inkling of creativity—can help you build your creative muscles.\\n1-6. Play video games.\\nSome video games are actually good for the creative mind. Interactive games that require movement as these stimulate multiple senses help with creative thinking. Things like Wii Tennis or Dance Dance Revolution would work well. Avoid games that require you to sit for long periods.\\n1-7. Read more.\\nReading is great for your creative mind. Make a habit of reading regularly. Pick books from multiple genres and styles of writing to expand your horizons and really bolster your creativity. Try to make time to read every day.\\nTry joining a book club. This will help direct your reading if you're unsure what kinds of books to start with.\\nGet a library card. This will help you save some money on books.\\n2. Broadening Your Knowledge\\n2-1. Develop your expertise.\\nPart of being creative is gaining expertise in one area or medium and learning as much as you can about it. Begin by reading articles and watching videos on the subject to gather more information about it. If possible, sign up for an introductory course at a local college or community centre (e.g. a beginner painting class).\\nInspire yourself by experiencing the creative works of others in a medium that interests you. For instance, if you are learning how to paint, visit a museum or art gallery.\\n2-2. Be open to new experiences.\\nThe most creative people are willing to engage with multiple ideas, broaden their horizons, and be surprised. Avoid resisting and dismissing things that are unfamiliar to you, and accept opportunities to try new creative endeavors. For instance, attempt a medium like clay sculpting even if you believe that you will dislike it or be bad at it.\\n2-3. Use play to foster creativity.\\nBeing more childlike can help your creative side by freeing you from adult hang ups for a while and opening your mind. Use toys and art supplies to stimulate your imagination and make new connections. If you're short on creative ideas, take the time to draw a whimsical picture or play with building blocks or legos.\\n2-4. Share and explain your knowledge.\\nThey say that you remember 90% of what you learned by teaching it to someone else. Explaining your newfound knowledge to yourself and others can help to cement it in your own mind. While you are learning something new, make a point of explaining it to yourself in your head. Picture yourself giving a TED talk or tutoring someone on the topic. \\nIf you feel particularly confident, make a video about the topic to post online, or explain your knowledge to a friend or colleague.\\n2-5. Prompt yourself to think of new ideas.\\nEngage in activities that actively force you to think of new ideas. For instance, play word association games by writing down one word and then any words that connect to it. Use analogy to find similarities between two seemingly dissimilar things to break down and examine your associations with each.\\nFor instance, look for similarities between a textbook and an iPod.\\nIf you feel stuck, try some word association games or search for synonyms online.\\nA similar idea is a game sometimes called \\\"Word Melt\\\", in which you change words into other words, by changing one letter at a time. For example — WORD → WARD → WART → WALT → MALT → MELT\\n2-6. Set aside time for brainstorming.\\nCreativity takes practice, so set aside time each day to retreat to a quiet or inspiring place to generate new ideas. For instance, visit a quiet park or sit in a library and let your mind flow freely. Write all of your ideas (good or bad) in a notebook, on a whiteboard, or on your computer without stopping to edit or rethink them.\\nFind a time that will work for you regularly. If you always have time after dinner, for example, take an hour after dinnertime to turn off distractions and engage with new ideas.\\nYou don't even have to know what you're going to do with this brainstorming time. Just let yourself be. Let whatever inspiration comes come, and if none does, keep going and eventually it will.\\n3. Changing Your Lifestyle\\n3-1. Socialize with different people.\\nTo give your creativity a jump-start, socialize as much as you can, particularly with people who are different from you. Spending time with people whose life experience and world view is unlike yours can expand your mind and offer fresh perspective on everyday things. To meet new people, attend events or do activities that are outside of your normal routine and engage in conversation whenever possible.\\nFor instance, if the art world is new to you, visit a gallery or museum and strike up a conversation with an artist or patron. Break the ice by saying something like, \\\"I'm new to the art world. Is this a passion of yours?\\\"\\nTry varying your established routes to increase the chances you’ll meet new people.\\n3-2. Walk\\nWalking can provide you time to think over ideas by allowing you to zone out and engage with creative thoughts. Walking will also allow you to engage with new surroundings or nature, both of which may inspire your creativity. Make a point of walking several times a week for at least fifteen minutes, or everyday if possible.\\n3-3. Exercise\\nExercising regularly can boost creativity by reducing stress and improving cognitive function. Create an exercise regimen for yourself to follow, aiming for about 30 minutes of exercise a day. Choose light cardio exercise like walking, jogging, or bicycling.\\n3-4. Get enough sleep.\\nSleep can help your mind stay rested and refreshed, leaving you creatively recharged. The brain is also very active during sleep, so \\\"sleeping on a problem\\\" may allow your mind to re-evaluate connections and formulate new ideas about an issue.Strive to get a solid 8 to 9 hours sleep each night, and stay on a sleep schedule.\\nTips\\nIf you feel lacking in creativity, finding ways to exercise the right side of your brain could be helpful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Creativity is a skill that you can work on with time, training, and effort. There are many areas you can focus on to improve your overall creativity. Engage in creative exercises like reading, writing, and listening to music to sharpen your creativity. Learn as much as possible and open yourself up to new ideas and experiences. Make lifestyle changes like walking more, exercising regularly, and getting more sleep to give your brain the boost it needs to increase your creative skills.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenging Yourself with Creative Exercises\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do the 30 circle test.\", \"描述\": \"You can do this test during dull moments at work. It helps you push yourself to think quickly and creatively. To start, draw 30 circles. From there, make as many circles into drawings as possible in one minute. You can do the test over and over again, trying to break your record each time.\\nThe 30 Circle Test helps boost creativity because it forces you to embrace multiple ideas. Many people have a tendency to self-edit and pause to wonder if something is a good idea. The 30 Circle Test forces you to think fast, forcing you to experiment with ideas without rejecting them.\\nFor printable sheets of empty circles, do an Internet search for \\\"30 circles printable\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doodle in your spare time.\", \"描述\": \"Doodling is sometimes thought of as a childish pastime, but it can actually help increase productivity. This can increase creativity by increasing your engagement with the world and attention span. Doodling helps you stay engaged during activities where you would otherwise zone out. The more information you're able to absorb, the more creative you will be.\\nDoodle during activities where you feel your mind wandering. For example, if you find yourself drifting out of focus during a meeting at work, do some doodling. You can also doodle in school during boring lectures.\\nTry keeping a sketchbook where you doodle when you start to feel bored or disengaged.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write flash fiction.\", \"描述\": \"Flash fiction means very short stories, often no more than 100 words. Writing a flash fiction story will help you become more creative as you'll be forced to tell a fleshed out story with a beginning, middle, and end using only a small number of words. This will help you learn how to convey necessary information in a limited space.\\nThere are many flash fiction writing communities online. Try getting involved with a flash fiction writing community and responding to prompts and participating in contests.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to music.\", \"描述\": \"Simply playing music in the background can inspire you creatively. It can help you focus better and increase your overall concentration. Classical music tends to work particularly well for creativity and concentration.\\nNot every genre of music works for everyone. While classical music has beneficial effects for many, experiment a little to find the music that best helps you concentrate and feel creative.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make something with your hands.\", \"描述\": \"Using your hands to create means you get information from all of your senses. This can help encourage more creative thinking. If you want to feel more creative, try activities in which you create using your hands. For example, try something like knitting, sewing, or other crafts to bolster your creativity.\\nOther activities like arranging your bedroom, cooking, calligraphy—anything that has an inkling of creativity—can help you build your creative muscles.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Play video games.\", \"描述\": \"Some video games are actually good for the creative mind. Interactive games that require movement as these stimulate multiple senses help with creative thinking. Things like Wii Tennis or Dance Dance Revolution would work well. Avoid games that require you to sit for long periods.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Read more.\", \"描述\": \"Reading is great for your creative mind. Make a habit of reading regularly. Pick books from multiple genres and styles of writing to expand your horizons and really bolster your creativity. Try to make time to read every day.\\nTry joining a book club. This will help direct your reading if you're unsure what kinds of books to start with.\\nGet a library card. This will help you save some money on books.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Broadening Your Knowledge\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your expertise.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being creative is gaining expertise in one area or medium and learning as much as you can about it. Begin by reading articles and watching videos on the subject to gather more information about it. If possible, sign up for an introductory course at a local college or community centre (e.g. a beginner painting class).\\nInspire yourself by experiencing the creative works of others in a medium that interests you. For instance, if you are learning how to paint, visit a museum or art gallery.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be open to new experiences.\", \"描述\": \"The most creative people are willing to engage with multiple ideas, broaden their horizons, and be surprised. Avoid resisting and dismissing things that are unfamiliar to you, and accept opportunities to try new creative endeavors. For instance, attempt a medium like clay sculpting even if you believe that you will dislike it or be bad at it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use play to foster creativity.\", \"描述\": \"Being more childlike can help your creative side by freeing you from adult hang ups for a while and opening your mind. Use toys and art supplies to stimulate your imagination and make new connections. If you're short on creative ideas, take the time to draw a whimsical picture or play with building blocks or legos.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share and explain your knowledge.\", \"描述\": \"They say that you remember 90% of what you learned by teaching it to someone else. Explaining your newfound knowledge to yourself and others can help to cement it in your own mind. While you are learning something new, make a point of explaining it to yourself in your head. Picture yourself giving a TED talk or tutoring someone on the topic. \\nIf you feel particularly confident, make a video about the topic to post online, or explain your knowledge to a friend or colleague.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prompt yourself to think of new ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Engage in activities that actively force you to think of new ideas. For instance, play word association games by writing down one word and then any words that connect to it. Use analogy to find similarities between two seemingly dissimilar things to break down and examine your associations with each.\\nFor instance, look for similarities between a textbook and an iPod.\\nIf you feel stuck, try some word association games or search for synonyms online.\\nA similar idea is a game sometimes called \\\"Word Melt\\\", in which you change words into other words, by changing one letter at a time. For example — WORD → WARD → WART → WALT → MALT → MELT\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Set aside time for brainstorming.\", \"描述\": \"Creativity takes practice, so set aside time each day to retreat to a quiet or inspiring place to generate new ideas. For instance, visit a quiet park or sit in a library and let your mind flow freely. Write all of your ideas (good or bad) in a notebook, on a whiteboard, or on your computer without stopping to edit or rethink them.\\nFind a time that will work for you regularly. If you always have time after dinner, for example, take an hour after dinnertime to turn off distractions and engage with new ideas.\\nYou don't even have to know what you're going to do with this brainstorming time. Just let yourself be. Let whatever inspiration comes come, and if none does, keep going and eventually it will.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Socialize with different people.\", \"描述\": \"To give your creativity a jump-start, socialize as much as you can, particularly with people who are different from you. Spending time with people whose life experience and world view is unlike yours can expand your mind and offer fresh perspective on everyday things. To meet new people, attend events or do activities that are outside of your normal routine and engage in conversation whenever possible.\\nFor instance, if the art world is new to you, visit a gallery or museum and strike up a conversation with an artist or patron. Break the ice by saying something like, \\\"I'm new to the art world. Is this a passion of yours?\\\"\\nTry varying your established routes to increase the chances you’ll meet new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Walk\", \"描述\": \"Walking can provide you time to think over ideas by allowing you to zone out and engage with creative thoughts. Walking will also allow you to engage with new surroundings or nature, both of which may inspire your creativity. Make a point of walking several times a week for at least fifteen minutes, or everyday if possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Exercising regularly can boost creativity by reducing stress and improving cognitive function. Create an exercise regimen for yourself to follow, aiming for about 30 minutes of exercise a day. Choose light cardio exercise like walking, jogging, or bicycling.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Sleep can help your mind stay rested and refreshed, leaving you creatively recharged. The brain is also very active during sleep, so \\\"sleeping on a problem\\\" may allow your mind to re-evaluate connections and formulate new ideas about an issue.Strive to get a solid 8 to 9 hours sleep each night, and stay on a sleep schedule.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you feel lacking in creativity, finding ways to exercise the right side of your brain could be helpful.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,665 | How to Be Creative in Graphic Design | 1. Work at your most productive time of day.
Creativity doesn’t work on a 9 to 5 schedule.
There might be times of the day that you’re more creative than others. If you can, work during those times so your creativity is at its highest.
Some people work better in the morning, and some might like working at night. Take advantage of the time that you’re at your best.
This is most helpful if you’re a freelancer or work from home. It might be tougher to plan if you have a day job at an office, but you could still try other tricks to boost your creativity.
2. Sketch your ideas out first.
While most designers use a computer, don’t neglect your sketch pad.
Ideas flow differently when you’re working with a pen and paper versus sitting at a computer. Get into the habit of sketching your ideas before trying to do them on your computer. You might just come up with a brand new idea that you wouldn’t have thought of at the computer!
If you use a drawing pad or tablet for your computer, still try sketching on paper. Changing the medium you work with could help stimulate some creativity.
It’s a good idea to keep your sketch pad with you at all times so you can start working whenever inspiration hits. This is another reason that a sketch pad works better than a computer drawing pad.
Don’t worry if you’re not very good at sketching. This is just for your own personal ideas, and you’ll definitely get better if you stick with it.
3. Work on your own personal design projects.
You don’t have to work with a client to be creative!
Doing your own little design projects each day is a great way to get into a creative mood, so don’t hold back. Some of these projects might even end up in your portfolio, which will help support your design career. Some good activities to get the creative juices flowing include:
Redecorating your work space or another part of your home.
Drawing or painting in your free time.
Redesigning the graphics in your favorite magazine, website, or movie poster.
Volunteering to do the graphics for a community organization.
4. Branch out by using different mediums and programs.
Working with the same medium all the time might make you feel stuck.
Break the routine by branching out and working with a different medium or program. This might spark some creativity and give you new ideas.
For example, if you’re always sketching your ideas, maybe painting would be a nice change of pace.
You could also change the program you work with. If you’re normally working with Photoshop, then switching to Illustrator might give you some new ideas.
5. Take on more challenging jobs to improve your skills.
This is one of the best ways to grow as a designer.
If you always take jobs that you find easy, your skills won’t improve. Furthermore, working on some more difficult projects could inspire you to come up with new, creative ideas. Make a commitment to expand your portfolio and seek out some challenging jobs.
If you normally design product logos, for example, branching out and doing some web design might be a welcome change.
It might be frustrating to try something that you’re not very skilled in, but stick with it! This is how you’ll learn and get better as a designer.
6. Save content that you find creative or inspirational.
Take creative inspiration from everywhere!
Whether you see a nice logo on a website, a good font on a magazine cover, or a nice movie poster, save that image. Create a file or portfolio of inspiring work and look at it whenever you feel like you need a boost.
Scrapbooking with the designs you like is also a great way to stimulate creativity. You’ll keep all the designs in one place while doing a fun craft activity.
If you use Pinterest, it's very easy to pin creative ideas or designs that inspire you and look at them later.
It’s fine to take influence from other designers and projects, but don’t directly copy them. This will hurt your reputation as a designer.
7. Look for inspirational designs on social media sites.
Beyond Twitter and Facebook, there are tons of creative sites.
Try checking out Tumblr, Designspiration, Niice, Baubauhaus, or Dribbble, sites where artists can upload their work and ideas. You might see some great work that gives you new ideas.
Remember to save any designs you like on these sites! Having a look at them when you need some inspiration can give you a nice boost.
8. Learn the history of art and design.
There’s so much to learn from the past!
If you feel like you’re in a creative slump, try looking back into history. Study how artists have expressed themselves throughout the years. This might give you some great new ideas that you didn’t think of before.
There are tons of great art books, so your local library would be a great place to start.
You could also look on websites for museums like the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see thousands of pieces for inspiration.
If you see any pieces of art you particularly like, add them to your scrapbook for inspiration.
9. Continue your education to get new ideas.
Learning new things is a great way to expand your creativity.
Consider yourself a perpetual student and make a commitment to learn new things all the time. With more skills in your back pocket, you can find more creative solutions to your design problems.
If you don’t have a degree in graphic design, then going to school could teach you some extremely valuable skills and tricks to boost your creativity.
You could also complete a certificate in design or using a particular medium. Many of these are available online for a reasonable price.
There are also plenty of YouTube channels and websites that produce completely free content.
10. Clear your head to get rid of distractions.
It’s tough to be creative if your head is cluttered with other thoughts.
Stress can especially hurt your creativity. Try doing some daily exercises to clear your head and let the creative thoughts flow in. Some good choices include:
Meditation.
Yoga.
Taking a walk.
Doing deep-breathing exercises.
11. Spend more time outside.
Artists have taken inspiration from the outdoors for thousands of years.
No need to end that now! It can be tough to think creatively if you’re in your office or home all the time. Try spending some time outside by taking a walk, sitting in a park, or heading out for a hike. This change of scenery could really get your creative juices flowing.
Even if you don’t live near a rural area, any small park or quiet area will work perfectly.
Urban landscapes can be inspiring too. Go and check out the trains, bridges, architecture, cars, and people interacting to see if that gives you a creative spark.
Remember to bring your sketch pad when you go out! You never know when inspiration will strike.
12. Put music on while you work.
Happy and upbeat music could give you a creativity boost.
A lot of artists and creative professionals leave music on while they’re working and agree that it helps them feel inspired. If you normally work in silence, give this a try and see if it helps.
One study found that “happy” music helped boost creativity, regardless of whether or not the person liked it.
Note that this might not work for everyone. Some people find music very distracting when they’re trying to work, so don’t worry if you need silence to be creative.
Tips
If you're feeling stuck and uncreative, don't be hard on yourself. Every artist feels like this occasionally! It doesn't mean you're a bad artist, it just means you're human.
Sometimes taking a break is a good way to boost your creativity too. Spending hours on your computer might not be helpful, but a break could clear your mind and get the creativity flowing.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Work at your most productive time of day.\\nCreativity doesn’t work on a 9 to 5 schedule.\\nThere might be times of the day that you’re more creative than others. If you can, work during those times so your creativity is at its highest.\\nSome people work better in the morning, and some might like working at night. Take advantage of the time that you’re at your best.\\nThis is most helpful if you’re a freelancer or work from home. It might be tougher to plan if you have a day job at an office, but you could still try other tricks to boost your creativity.\\n2. Sketch your ideas out first.\\nWhile most designers use a computer, don’t neglect your sketch pad.\\nIdeas flow differently when you’re working with a pen and paper versus sitting at a computer. Get into the habit of sketching your ideas before trying to do them on your computer. You might just come up with a brand new idea that you wouldn’t have thought of at the computer!\\nIf you use a drawing pad or tablet for your computer, still try sketching on paper. Changing the medium you work with could help stimulate some creativity.\\nIt’s a good idea to keep your sketch pad with you at all times so you can start working whenever inspiration hits. This is another reason that a sketch pad works better than a computer drawing pad.\\nDon’t worry if you’re not very good at sketching. This is just for your own personal ideas, and you’ll definitely get better if you stick with it.\\n3. Work on your own personal design projects.\\nYou don’t have to work with a client to be creative!\\nDoing your own little design projects each day is a great way to get into a creative mood, so don’t hold back. Some of these projects might even end up in your portfolio, which will help support your design career. Some good activities to get the creative juices flowing include:\\nRedecorating your work space or another part of your home.\\nDrawing or painting in your free time.\\nRedesigning the graphics in your favorite magazine, website, or movie poster.\\nVolunteering to do the graphics for a community organization.\\n4. Branch out by using different mediums and programs.\\nWorking with the same medium all the time might make you feel stuck.\\nBreak the routine by branching out and working with a different medium or program. This might spark some creativity and give you new ideas.\\nFor example, if you’re always sketching your ideas, maybe painting would be a nice change of pace.\\nYou could also change the program you work with. If you’re normally working with Photoshop, then switching to Illustrator might give you some new ideas.\\n5. Take on more challenging jobs to improve your skills.\\nThis is one of the best ways to grow as a designer.\\nIf you always take jobs that you find easy, your skills won’t improve. Furthermore, working on some more difficult projects could inspire you to come up with new, creative ideas. Make a commitment to expand your portfolio and seek out some challenging jobs.\\nIf you normally design product logos, for example, branching out and doing some web design might be a welcome change.\\nIt might be frustrating to try something that you’re not very skilled in, but stick with it! This is how you’ll learn and get better as a designer.\\n6. Save content that you find creative or inspirational.\\nTake creative inspiration from everywhere!\\nWhether you see a nice logo on a website, a good font on a magazine cover, or a nice movie poster, save that image. Create a file or portfolio of inspiring work and look at it whenever you feel like you need a boost.\\n\\nScrapbooking with the designs you like is also a great way to stimulate creativity. You’ll keep all the designs in one place while doing a fun craft activity.\\nIf you use Pinterest, it's very easy to pin creative ideas or designs that inspire you and look at them later.\\nIt’s fine to take influence from other designers and projects, but don’t directly copy them. This will hurt your reputation as a designer.\\n7. Look for inspirational designs on social media sites.\\nBeyond Twitter and Facebook, there are tons of creative sites.\\nTry checking out Tumblr, Designspiration, Niice, Baubauhaus, or Dribbble, sites where artists can upload their work and ideas. You might see some great work that gives you new ideas.\\nRemember to save any designs you like on these sites! Having a look at them when you need some inspiration can give you a nice boost.\\n8. Learn the history of art and design.\\nThere’s so much to learn from the past!\\nIf you feel like you’re in a creative slump, try looking back into history. Study how artists have expressed themselves throughout the years. This might give you some great new ideas that you didn’t think of before.\\nThere are tons of great art books, so your local library would be a great place to start.\\nYou could also look on websites for museums like the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see thousands of pieces for inspiration.\\nIf you see any pieces of art you particularly like, add them to your scrapbook for inspiration.\\n9. Continue your education to get new ideas.\\nLearning new things is a great way to expand your creativity.\\nConsider yourself a perpetual student and make a commitment to learn new things all the time. With more skills in your back pocket, you can find more creative solutions to your design problems.\\nIf you don’t have a degree in graphic design, then going to school could teach you some extremely valuable skills and tricks to boost your creativity.\\nYou could also complete a certificate in design or using a particular medium. Many of these are available online for a reasonable price.\\nThere are also plenty of YouTube channels and websites that produce completely free content.\\n10. Clear your head to get rid of distractions.\\nIt’s tough to be creative if your head is cluttered with other thoughts.\\nStress can especially hurt your creativity. Try doing some daily exercises to clear your head and let the creative thoughts flow in. Some good choices include:\\nMeditation.\\nYoga.\\nTaking a walk.\\nDoing deep-breathing exercises.\\n11. Spend more time outside.\\nArtists have taken inspiration from the outdoors for thousands of years.\\nNo need to end that now! It can be tough to think creatively if you’re in your office or home all the time. Try spending some time outside by taking a walk, sitting in a park, or heading out for a hike. This change of scenery could really get your creative juices flowing.\\nEven if you don’t live near a rural area, any small park or quiet area will work perfectly.\\nUrban landscapes can be inspiring too. Go and check out the trains, bridges, architecture, cars, and people interacting to see if that gives you a creative spark.\\nRemember to bring your sketch pad when you go out! You never know when inspiration will strike.\\n12. Put music on while you work.\\nHappy and upbeat music could give you a creativity boost.\\nA lot of artists and creative professionals leave music on while they’re working and agree that it helps them feel inspired. If you normally work in silence, give this a try and see if it helps.\\nOne study found that “happy” music helped boost creativity, regardless of whether or not the person liked it.\\nNote that this might not work for everyone. Some people find music very distracting when they’re trying to work, so don’t worry if you need silence to be creative.\\nTips\\nIf you're feeling stuck and uncreative, don't be hard on yourself. Every artist feels like this occasionally! It doesn't mean you're a bad artist, it just means you're human.\\nSometimes taking a break is a good way to boost your creativity too. Spending hours on your computer might not be helpful, but a break could clear your mind and get the creativity flowing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Creativity is a huge part of being a great graphic designer. Unfortunately, you can’t just turn your creativity on when you want to do some design work. This makes being an artist or designer a little tricky. If you’re feeling stuck, don’t worry! Every great artist experiences this at some point. Luckily, there are plenty of simple little tricks to get the creativity flowing again and tackle any project in front of you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work at your most productive time of day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creativity doesn’t work on a 9 to 5 schedule.\", \"描述\": \"There might be times of the day that you’re more creative than others. If you can, work during those times so your creativity is at its highest.\\nSome people work better in the morning, and some might like working at night. Take advantage of the time that you’re at your best.\\nThis is most helpful if you’re a freelancer or work from home. It might be tougher to plan if you have a day job at an office, but you could still try other tricks to boost your creativity.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sketch your ideas out first.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"While most designers use a computer, don’t neglect your sketch pad.\", \"描述\": \"Ideas flow differently when you’re working with a pen and paper versus sitting at a computer. Get into the habit of sketching your ideas before trying to do them on your computer. You might just come up with a brand new idea that you wouldn’t have thought of at the computer!\\nIf you use a drawing pad or tablet for your computer, still try sketching on paper. Changing the medium you work with could help stimulate some creativity.\\nIt’s a good idea to keep your sketch pad with you at all times so you can start working whenever inspiration hits. This is another reason that a sketch pad works better than a computer drawing pad.\\nDon’t worry if you’re not very good at sketching. This is just for your own personal ideas, and you’ll definitely get better if you stick with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on your own personal design projects.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t have to work with a client to be creative!\", \"描述\": \"Doing your own little design projects each day is a great way to get into a creative mood, so don’t hold back. Some of these projects might even end up in your portfolio, which will help support your design career. Some good activities to get the creative juices flowing include:\\nRedecorating your work space or another part of your home.\\nDrawing or painting in your free time.\\nRedesigning the graphics in your favorite magazine, website, or movie poster.\\nVolunteering to do the graphics for a community organization.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Branch out by using different mediums and programs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working with the same medium all the time might make you feel stuck.\", \"描述\": \"Break the routine by branching out and working with a different medium or program. This might spark some creativity and give you new ideas.\\nFor example, if you’re always sketching your ideas, maybe painting would be a nice change of pace.\\nYou could also change the program you work with. If you’re normally working with Photoshop, then switching to Illustrator might give you some new ideas.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take on more challenging jobs to improve your skills.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is one of the best ways to grow as a designer.\", \"描述\": \"If you always take jobs that you find easy, your skills won’t improve. Furthermore, working on some more difficult projects could inspire you to come up with new, creative ideas. Make a commitment to expand your portfolio and seek out some challenging jobs.\\nIf you normally design product logos, for example, branching out and doing some web design might be a welcome change.\\nIt might be frustrating to try something that you’re not very skilled in, but stick with it! This is how you’ll learn and get better as a designer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Save content that you find creative or inspirational.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take creative inspiration from everywhere!\", \"描述\": \"Whether you see a nice logo on a website, a good font on a magazine cover, or a nice movie poster, save that image. Create a file or portfolio of inspiring work and look at it whenever you feel like you need a boost.\\n\\nScrapbooking with the designs you like is also a great way to stimulate creativity. You’ll keep all the designs in one place while doing a fun craft activity.\\nIf you use Pinterest, it's very easy to pin creative ideas or designs that inspire you and look at them later.\\nIt’s fine to take influence from other designers and projects, but don’t directly copy them. This will hurt your reputation as a designer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Look for inspirational designs on social media sites.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Beyond Twitter and Facebook, there are tons of creative sites.\", \"描述\": \"Try checking out Tumblr, Designspiration, Niice, Baubauhaus, or Dribbble, sites where artists can upload their work and ideas. You might see some great work that gives you new ideas.\\nRemember to save any designs you like on these sites! Having a look at them when you need some inspiration can give you a nice boost.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Learn the history of art and design.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"There’s so much to learn from the past!\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like you’re in a creative slump, try looking back into history. Study how artists have expressed themselves throughout the years. This might give you some great new ideas that you didn’t think of before.\\nThere are tons of great art books, so your local library would be a great place to start.\\nYou could also look on websites for museums like the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see thousands of pieces for inspiration.\\nIf you see any pieces of art you particularly like, add them to your scrapbook for inspiration.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Continue your education to get new ideas.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning new things is a great way to expand your creativity.\", \"描述\": \"Consider yourself a perpetual student and make a commitment to learn new things all the time. With more skills in your back pocket, you can find more creative solutions to your design problems.\\nIf you don’t have a degree in graphic design, then going to school could teach you some extremely valuable skills and tricks to boost your creativity.\\nYou could also complete a certificate in design or using a particular medium. Many of these are available online for a reasonable price.\\nThere are also plenty of YouTube channels and websites that produce completely free content.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Clear your head to get rid of distractions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s tough to be creative if your head is cluttered with other thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Stress can especially hurt your creativity. Try doing some daily exercises to clear your head and let the creative thoughts flow in. Some good choices include:\\nMeditation.\\nYoga.\\nTaking a walk.\\nDoing deep-breathing exercises.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Spend more time outside.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Artists have taken inspiration from the outdoors for thousands of years.\", \"描述\": \"No need to end that now! It can be tough to think creatively if you’re in your office or home all the time. Try spending some time outside by taking a walk, sitting in a park, or heading out for a hike. This change of scenery could really get your creative juices flowing.\\nEven if you don’t live near a rural area, any small park or quiet area will work perfectly.\\nUrban landscapes can be inspiring too. Go and check out the trains, bridges, architecture, cars, and people interacting to see if that gives you a creative spark.\\nRemember to bring your sketch pad when you go out! You never know when inspiration will strike.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Put music on while you work.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Happy and upbeat music could give you a creativity boost.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of artists and creative professionals leave music on while they’re working and agree that it helps them feel inspired. If you normally work in silence, give this a try and see if it helps.\\nOne study found that “happy” music helped boost creativity, regardless of whether or not the person liked it.\\nNote that this might not work for everyone. Some people find music very distracting when they’re trying to work, so don’t worry if you need silence to be creative.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're feeling stuck and uncreative, don't be hard on yourself. Every artist feels like this occasionally! It doesn't mean you're a bad artist, it just means you're human.\\n\", \"Sometimes taking a break is a good way to boost your creativity too. Spending hours on your computer might not be helpful, but a break could clear your mind and get the creativity flowing.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,666 | How to Be Creative when Playing With Your Barbies | 1. Doing Activities with Barbie
1-1. Create your own Barbie mansion to play house with Barbie.
If you bought a playhouse just for Barbie, great! If not, empty a bookshelf or stack empty boxes on top of one another on their sides to create your own. You can fill it with furniture and have Barbie decorate her home, use her kitchen, lounge in her bedroom, or chat with friends in her living room.
Have Barbie throw a dinner party in her home, inviting other dolls and eating great food.
Barbie could host a sleepover at her house and watch a funny movie.
1-2. Turn Barbie into a doctor to have her help patients.
Pretend that Barbie is a doctor or nurse and create an office for her to see sick patients. Use other dolls or toys to be the sick patients, and have Barbie check their throat, ears, nose, temperature, and breathing to see if she can help them get better.
Pretend Barbie is a surgeon and is operating on another doll to save its life, or have Barbie fix up another doll’s broken arm or ankle.
1-3. Take Barbie to the beach by playing in a sandy spot.
Use an outdoor sandbox, sandy section of your yard, or build your own beach by pouring sand into a plastic tub indoors. Let Barbie relax on a towel under a beach umbrella in the sand while she reads a book or talks to a friend.
Use a piece of fabric or a washcloth as Barbie’s beach towel.
Put Barbie in her bathing suit so she can soak up some sun.
Create a beach umbrella using a decorative drink umbrella, or by cutting an umbrella shape out of paper and sticking a toothpick or pencil through the middle.
Add a small tub of water next to the sand to create an “ocean.”
1-4. Send Barbie to the hair salon to fix up her hair.
To smooth out any tangles in Barbie’s hair, dip her hair in a mixture of fabric softener and water and then use a brush to brush out the tangles. Curl Barbie’s hair using pipe cleaners and hot water, or dye her hair with food coloring mixed with water.
To curl Barbie’s hair, take small sections of her hair and roll each section up on a small piece of pipe cleaner, just as you would real hair curlers. Dip her hair in hot water and let it dry.
Mix a drop or 2 of food coloring in a bowl of water before dipping Barbie’s hair into the colored water. This works best if Barbie has blonde hair.
1-5. Let Barbie be a teacher to teach other dolls new things.
Set up a school room with rows of chairs and desks for the doll students to sit and learn, and have Barbie write lessons on a chalkboard to teach everyone things like math, science, or foreign languages. You can even create small books for everyone to read and learn from!
Barbie doesn’t just have to be a school teacher - have her teach other dolls how to ride a horse, how to make a cake, or how to swim.
Tape a piece of paper up on the wall to use as the chalkboard.
Make books by cutting paper into sections that are roughly 1 in (2.5 cm) wide and 2 in (5.1 cm) long. Fold these sections in half and add a staple right on the folded line.
1-6. Have Barbie star in her own movie using a video camera or phone.
This could be an action movie where Barbie is involved in a high-speed car chase, a romantic movie where Barbie falls in love with someone, or any other genre that you like. Use a phone or video camera to film each scene so you can watch it later on.
Plan out each scene before filming, such as which props you’ll need and what Barbie will say.
Ask friends or family members to help you shoot the movie so that you can have more characters in it.
For example, you could film the movie outside and pretend that Barbie is stuck on an island and needs to be rescued.
1-7. Take Barbie on a road trip if she has her own car.
Pack up Barbie’s car with snacks, clothing, and any other gear she’ll need for a road trip, or use your imagination and use a cardboard box as her car. Have Barbie travel from room to room, meeting new people and trying new things.
Barbie could also travel by plane, bus, boat, bicycle, or train.
For example, you could pretend that each room in your house is a different country, and Barbie takes a plane to France, Greece, and Japan to try out their food.
Take Barbie on a road trip to go shopping, hear music, or experience a festival.
1-8. Create a pool for Barbie using a sink or plastic container.
Fill a bowl or plastic container with water and dress Barbie up in her swimsuit so that she can go swimming. Make sure Barbie is able to get wet before dipping her in the water, especially if she has a special hairdo.
Have Barbie throw a pool party and invite her friends.
Play music, have Barbie sit on a pool towel next to the pool, or let her practice doing fun dives into the water.
1-9. Put on a fashion show using Barbie’s clothing.
Dress Barbie in fancy dresses, businesswoman attire, lounge wear, or in crazy costumes. Use the clothing you already have for Barbie, or create new clothing using materials around your house such as balloons, pieces of fabric, or old socks.
Play music while putting on the fashion show so that Barbie can strut down the runway.
For example, dress Barbie up like a princess, astronaut, ballerina, basketball player, or celebrity.
2. Making Clothing and Furniture for Barbie
2-1. Cut up balloons to make clothing for Barbie.
Cut both ends of the balloon off using scissors to create a skirt or strapless dress, or design more detailed shirts and dresses by cutting arm holes into the balloon. Slide the balloon up over Barbie’s body starting at her feet once you’re done.
The balloon should be deflated to use it as clothing.
2-2. Create a dress out of a piece of fabric.
Look around the house to find spare pieces of fabric used for sewing or projects. To make a super simple dress, cut a circle out of the fabric with a diameter of about 1 foot (30 cm). Cut a small hole for Barbie’s head right in the middle, and then 2 arm holes on either side. Slide the dress over Barbie’s head and use a ribbon or piece of string to tie it at the waist.
Make sure the main hole in Barbie’s dress is big enough for her head to fit through.
Design more complicated pieces of clothing, such as pants or long-sleeve shirts, if desired.
2-3. Cover sponges in fabric to create a comfy couch.
Find pieces of fabric for sewing or crafts around the house and cut them into squares large enough to fit over the sponge, leaving 1 in (2.5 cm) of extra fabric on each side. You can either sew the fabric to create a cover for the sponge, or you can glue the fabric onto the sponge. Do this with at least 2 sponges and then place one flat on the ground with the other up against a wall as a backrest.
For a super comfy couch, make the seat of the couch out of 2 sponges stacked on top of one another.
To create a long sectional, use 4-6 sponges to form the couch.
2-4. Stack empty matchboxes on top of one another to form drawers.
You can color, paint, or cover the outside of the matchboxes with paper beforehand, if desired. Place the matchboxes on top of one another, adding drops of glue in between each layer to keep them all in place. Place Barbie’s things, such as her hairbrush, phone, mirror, or books, in the drawers.
If you only have one matchbox, prop the matchbox up on something like a piece of cardboard or paper clips and turn it into a one-drawer nightstand.
Cover the new drawers with stickers, glitter, or pictures.
2-5. Turn a shoebox into a bed for Barbie.
Find an old shoebox from your closet, garage, or other storage spot and empty it out. Place a washcloth or small blanket inside, as well as something that will be used as a pillow. Now Barbie has a bed ready for sleeping!
Create a pillow by stuffing a piece of fabric or a cloth bag with tissues or stuffing.
Decorate the sides of the bed using markers, pencils, or paint.
2-6. Tie ribbon onto a small hair band to make a tutu for Barbie.
Find an extra hair tie and ribbon that you like. Cut the ribbon into 6 in (15 cm) sections, and then tie the ribbon onto the hair tie so that the middle of the ribbon is where the knot is. Do this all the way around the hair tie to create a fun tutu.
Use different colored or patterned ribbon to make the tutu super colorful.
If your hair tie is too big and won’t fit Barbie, find a rubber band and cut it before tying a new knot to make it the perfect size.
2-7. Design chairs using cardboard and paper clips.
Use scissors to cut cardboard into strips that are at least 3 in (7.6 cm) wide. By bending these strips of cardboard, you can create simple chairs or chaise lounges. If you want the chair to stand up off the ground, bend paper clips to form chair ends and use glue or tape to attach them to the bottom of the chairs.
Fold a 6 in (15 cm) long piece of cardboard in half to create a simple chair.
Fold a 9 in (23 cm) long piece of cardboard into thirds to form a chaise lounge.
Tips
Brush Barbie's hair with care.
Use acetone to remove makeup from Barbie's face, if needed. Be careful though, if you get acetone on the eyes or lips, her face may rub off.
Don't put Barbie's head in water, because the water can stay inside and become mouldy.
Warnings
Make sure Barbie, including her hair, is safe to put in water before doing so.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Doing Activities with Barbie\\n1-1. Create your own Barbie mansion to play house with Barbie.\\nIf you bought a playhouse just for Barbie, great! If not, empty a bookshelf or stack empty boxes on top of one another on their sides to create your own. You can fill it with furniture and have Barbie decorate her home, use her kitchen, lounge in her bedroom, or chat with friends in her living room.\\nHave Barbie throw a dinner party in her home, inviting other dolls and eating great food.\\nBarbie could host a sleepover at her house and watch a funny movie.\\n1-2. Turn Barbie into a doctor to have her help patients.\\nPretend that Barbie is a doctor or nurse and create an office for her to see sick patients. Use other dolls or toys to be the sick patients, and have Barbie check their throat, ears, nose, temperature, and breathing to see if she can help them get better.\\nPretend Barbie is a surgeon and is operating on another doll to save its life, or have Barbie fix up another doll’s broken arm or ankle.\\n1-3. Take Barbie to the beach by playing in a sandy spot.\\nUse an outdoor sandbox, sandy section of your yard, or build your own beach by pouring sand into a plastic tub indoors. Let Barbie relax on a towel under a beach umbrella in the sand while she reads a book or talks to a friend.\\nUse a piece of fabric or a washcloth as Barbie’s beach towel.\\nPut Barbie in her bathing suit so she can soak up some sun.\\nCreate a beach umbrella using a decorative drink umbrella, or by cutting an umbrella shape out of paper and sticking a toothpick or pencil through the middle.\\nAdd a small tub of water next to the sand to create an “ocean.”\\n1-4. Send Barbie to the hair salon to fix up her hair.\\nTo smooth out any tangles in Barbie’s hair, dip her hair in a mixture of fabric softener and water and then use a brush to brush out the tangles. Curl Barbie’s hair using pipe cleaners and hot water, or dye her hair with food coloring mixed with water.\\nTo curl Barbie’s hair, take small sections of her hair and roll each section up on a small piece of pipe cleaner, just as you would real hair curlers. Dip her hair in hot water and let it dry.\\nMix a drop or 2 of food coloring in a bowl of water before dipping Barbie’s hair into the colored water. This works best if Barbie has blonde hair.\\n1-5. Let Barbie be a teacher to teach other dolls new things.\\nSet up a school room with rows of chairs and desks for the doll students to sit and learn, and have Barbie write lessons on a chalkboard to teach everyone things like math, science, or foreign languages. You can even create small books for everyone to read and learn from!\\nBarbie doesn’t just have to be a school teacher - have her teach other dolls how to ride a horse, how to make a cake, or how to swim.\\nTape a piece of paper up on the wall to use as the chalkboard.\\nMake books by cutting paper into sections that are roughly 1 in (2.5 cm) wide and 2 in (5.1 cm) long. Fold these sections in half and add a staple right on the folded line.\\n1-6. Have Barbie star in her own movie using a video camera or phone.\\nThis could be an action movie where Barbie is involved in a high-speed car chase, a romantic movie where Barbie falls in love with someone, or any other genre that you like. Use a phone or video camera to film each scene so you can watch it later on.\\nPlan out each scene before filming, such as which props you’ll need and what Barbie will say.\\nAsk friends or family members to help you shoot the movie so that you can have more characters in it.\\nFor example, you could film the movie outside and pretend that Barbie is stuck on an island and needs to be rescued.\\n1-7. Take Barbie on a road trip if she has her own car.\\nPack up Barbie’s car with snacks, clothing, and any other gear she’ll need for a road trip, or use your imagination and use a cardboard box as her car. Have Barbie travel from room to room, meeting new people and trying new things.\\nBarbie could also travel by plane, bus, boat, bicycle, or train.\\nFor example, you could pretend that each room in your house is a different country, and Barbie takes a plane to France, Greece, and Japan to try out their food.\\nTake Barbie on a road trip to go shopping, hear music, or experience a festival.\\n1-8. Create a pool for Barbie using a sink or plastic container.\\nFill a bowl or plastic container with water and dress Barbie up in her swimsuit so that she can go swimming. Make sure Barbie is able to get wet before dipping her in the water, especially if she has a special hairdo.\\nHave Barbie throw a pool party and invite her friends.\\nPlay music, have Barbie sit on a pool towel next to the pool, or let her practice doing fun dives into the water.\\n1-9. Put on a fashion show using Barbie’s clothing.\\nDress Barbie in fancy dresses, businesswoman attire, lounge wear, or in crazy costumes. Use the clothing you already have for Barbie, or create new clothing using materials around your house such as balloons, pieces of fabric, or old socks.\\nPlay music while putting on the fashion show so that Barbie can strut down the runway.\\nFor example, dress Barbie up like a princess, astronaut, ballerina, basketball player, or celebrity.\\n2. Making Clothing and Furniture for Barbie\\n2-1. Cut up balloons to make clothing for Barbie.\\nCut both ends of the balloon off using scissors to create a skirt or strapless dress, or design more detailed shirts and dresses by cutting arm holes into the balloon. Slide the balloon up over Barbie’s body starting at her feet once you’re done.\\nThe balloon should be deflated to use it as clothing.\\n2-2. Create a dress out of a piece of fabric.\\nLook around the house to find spare pieces of fabric used for sewing or projects. To make a super simple dress, cut a circle out of the fabric with a diameter of about 1 foot (30 cm). Cut a small hole for Barbie’s head right in the middle, and then 2 arm holes on either side. Slide the dress over Barbie’s head and use a ribbon or piece of string to tie it at the waist.\\nMake sure the main hole in Barbie’s dress is big enough for her head to fit through.\\nDesign more complicated pieces of clothing, such as pants or long-sleeve shirts, if desired.\\n2-3. Cover sponges in fabric to create a comfy couch.\\nFind pieces of fabric for sewing or crafts around the house and cut them into squares large enough to fit over the sponge, leaving 1 in (2.5 cm) of extra fabric on each side. You can either sew the fabric to create a cover for the sponge, or you can glue the fabric onto the sponge. Do this with at least 2 sponges and then place one flat on the ground with the other up against a wall as a backrest.\\nFor a super comfy couch, make the seat of the couch out of 2 sponges stacked on top of one another.\\nTo create a long sectional, use 4-6 sponges to form the couch.\\n2-4. Stack empty matchboxes on top of one another to form drawers.\\nYou can color, paint, or cover the outside of the matchboxes with paper beforehand, if desired. Place the matchboxes on top of one another, adding drops of glue in between each layer to keep them all in place. Place Barbie’s things, such as her hairbrush, phone, mirror, or books, in the drawers.\\nIf you only have one matchbox, prop the matchbox up on something like a piece of cardboard or paper clips and turn it into a one-drawer nightstand.\\nCover the new drawers with stickers, glitter, or pictures.\\n2-5. Turn a shoebox into a bed for Barbie.\\nFind an old shoebox from your closet, garage, or other storage spot and empty it out. Place a washcloth or small blanket inside, as well as something that will be used as a pillow. Now Barbie has a bed ready for sleeping!\\nCreate a pillow by stuffing a piece of fabric or a cloth bag with tissues or stuffing.\\nDecorate the sides of the bed using markers, pencils, or paint.\\n2-6. Tie ribbon onto a small hair band to make a tutu for Barbie.\\nFind an extra hair tie and ribbon that you like. Cut the ribbon into 6 in (15 cm) sections, and then tie the ribbon onto the hair tie so that the middle of the ribbon is where the knot is. Do this all the way around the hair tie to create a fun tutu.\\nUse different colored or patterned ribbon to make the tutu super colorful.\\nIf your hair tie is too big and won’t fit Barbie, find a rubber band and cut it before tying a new knot to make it the perfect size.\\n2-7. Design chairs using cardboard and paper clips.\\nUse scissors to cut cardboard into strips that are at least 3 in (7.6 cm) wide. By bending these strips of cardboard, you can create simple chairs or chaise lounges. If you want the chair to stand up off the ground, bend paper clips to form chair ends and use glue or tape to attach them to the bottom of the chairs.\\nFold a 6 in (15 cm) long piece of cardboard in half to create a simple chair.\\nFold a 9 in (23 cm) long piece of cardboard into thirds to form a chaise lounge.\\nTips\\nBrush Barbie's hair with care.\\nUse acetone to remove makeup from Barbie's face, if needed. Be careful though, if you get acetone on the eyes or lips, her face may rub off.\\nDon't put Barbie's head in water, because the water can stay inside and become mouldy.\\nWarnings\\nMake sure Barbie, including her hair, is safe to put in water before doing so.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are endless fun possibilities when it comes to playing with Barbies. If you need ideas for activities, consider doing things like creating a beach for Barbie, pretending she's a doctor to help sick patients, or hosting a fashion show to show off all of her clothing. You can also create things for Barbie, such as furniture to go in her house or new clothing for her to wear.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Doing Activities with Barbie\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create your own Barbie mansion to play house with Barbie.\", \"描述\": \"If you bought a playhouse just for Barbie, great! If not, empty a bookshelf or stack empty boxes on top of one another on their sides to create your own. You can fill it with furniture and have Barbie decorate her home, use her kitchen, lounge in her bedroom, or chat with friends in her living room.\\nHave Barbie throw a dinner party in her home, inviting other dolls and eating great food.\\nBarbie could host a sleepover at her house and watch a funny movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn Barbie into a doctor to have her help patients.\", \"描述\": \"Pretend that Barbie is a doctor or nurse and create an office for her to see sick patients. Use other dolls or toys to be the sick patients, and have Barbie check their throat, ears, nose, temperature, and breathing to see if she can help them get better.\\nPretend Barbie is a surgeon and is operating on another doll to save its life, or have Barbie fix up another doll’s broken arm or ankle.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take Barbie to the beach by playing in a sandy spot.\", \"描述\": \"Use an outdoor sandbox, sandy section of your yard, or build your own beach by pouring sand into a plastic tub indoors. Let Barbie relax on a towel under a beach umbrella in the sand while she reads a book or talks to a friend.\\nUse a piece of fabric or a washcloth as Barbie’s beach towel.\\nPut Barbie in her bathing suit so she can soak up some sun.\\nCreate a beach umbrella using a decorative drink umbrella, or by cutting an umbrella shape out of paper and sticking a toothpick or pencil through the middle.\\nAdd a small tub of water next to the sand to create an “ocean.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send Barbie to the hair salon to fix up her hair.\", \"描述\": \"To smooth out any tangles in Barbie’s hair, dip her hair in a mixture of fabric softener and water and then use a brush to brush out the tangles. Curl Barbie’s hair using pipe cleaners and hot water, or dye her hair with food coloring mixed with water.\\nTo curl Barbie’s hair, take small sections of her hair and roll each section up on a small piece of pipe cleaner, just as you would real hair curlers. Dip her hair in hot water and let it dry.\\nMix a drop or 2 of food coloring in a bowl of water before dipping Barbie’s hair into the colored water. This works best if Barbie has blonde hair.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let Barbie be a teacher to teach other dolls new things.\", \"描述\": \"Set up a school room with rows of chairs and desks for the doll students to sit and learn, and have Barbie write lessons on a chalkboard to teach everyone things like math, science, or foreign languages. You can even create small books for everyone to read and learn from!\\nBarbie doesn’t just have to be a school teacher - have her teach other dolls how to ride a horse, how to make a cake, or how to swim.\\nTape a piece of paper up on the wall to use as the chalkboard.\\nMake books by cutting paper into sections that are roughly 1 in (2.5 cm) wide and 2 in (5.1 cm) long. Fold these sections in half and add a staple right on the folded line.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have Barbie star in her own movie using a video camera or phone.\", \"描述\": \"This could be an action movie where Barbie is involved in a high-speed car chase, a romantic movie where Barbie falls in love with someone, or any other genre that you like. Use a phone or video camera to film each scene so you can watch it later on.\\nPlan out each scene before filming, such as which props you’ll need and what Barbie will say.\\nAsk friends or family members to help you shoot the movie so that you can have more characters in it.\\nFor example, you could film the movie outside and pretend that Barbie is stuck on an island and needs to be rescued.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take Barbie on a road trip if she has her own car.\", \"描述\": \"Pack up Barbie’s car with snacks, clothing, and any other gear she’ll need for a road trip, or use your imagination and use a cardboard box as her car. Have Barbie travel from room to room, meeting new people and trying new things.\\nBarbie could also travel by plane, bus, boat, bicycle, or train.\\nFor example, you could pretend that each room in your house is a different country, and Barbie takes a plane to France, Greece, and Japan to try out their food.\\nTake Barbie on a road trip to go shopping, hear music, or experience a festival.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Create a pool for Barbie using a sink or plastic container.\", \"描述\": \"Fill a bowl or plastic container with water and dress Barbie up in her swimsuit so that she can go swimming. Make sure Barbie is able to get wet before dipping her in the water, especially if she has a special hairdo.\\nHave Barbie throw a pool party and invite her friends.\\nPlay music, have Barbie sit on a pool towel next to the pool, or let her practice doing fun dives into the water.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Put on a fashion show using Barbie’s clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Dress Barbie in fancy dresses, businesswoman attire, lounge wear, or in crazy costumes. Use the clothing you already have for Barbie, or create new clothing using materials around your house such as balloons, pieces of fabric, or old socks.\\nPlay music while putting on the fashion show so that Barbie can strut down the runway.\\nFor example, dress Barbie up like a princess, astronaut, ballerina, basketball player, or celebrity.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Clothing and Furniture for Barbie\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cut up balloons to make clothing for Barbie.\", \"描述\": \"Cut both ends of the balloon off using scissors to create a skirt or strapless dress, or design more detailed shirts and dresses by cutting arm holes into the balloon. Slide the balloon up over Barbie’s body starting at her feet once you’re done.\\nThe balloon should be deflated to use it as clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a dress out of a piece of fabric.\", \"描述\": \"Look around the house to find spare pieces of fabric used for sewing or projects. To make a super simple dress, cut a circle out of the fabric with a diameter of about 1 foot (30 cm). Cut a small hole for Barbie’s head right in the middle, and then 2 arm holes on either side. Slide the dress over Barbie’s head and use a ribbon or piece of string to tie it at the waist.\\nMake sure the main hole in Barbie’s dress is big enough for her head to fit through.\\nDesign more complicated pieces of clothing, such as pants or long-sleeve shirts, if desired.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cover sponges in fabric to create a comfy couch.\", \"描述\": \"Find pieces of fabric for sewing or crafts around the house and cut them into squares large enough to fit over the sponge, leaving 1 in (2.5 cm) of extra fabric on each side. You can either sew the fabric to create a cover for the sponge, or you can glue the fabric onto the sponge. Do this with at least 2 sponges and then place one flat on the ground with the other up against a wall as a backrest.\\nFor a super comfy couch, make the seat of the couch out of 2 sponges stacked on top of one another.\\nTo create a long sectional, use 4-6 sponges to form the couch.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stack empty matchboxes on top of one another to form drawers.\", \"描述\": \"You can color, paint, or cover the outside of the matchboxes with paper beforehand, if desired. Place the matchboxes on top of one another, adding drops of glue in between each layer to keep them all in place. Place Barbie’s things, such as her hairbrush, phone, mirror, or books, in the drawers.\\nIf you only have one matchbox, prop the matchbox up on something like a piece of cardboard or paper clips and turn it into a one-drawer nightstand.\\nCover the new drawers with stickers, glitter, or pictures.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Turn a shoebox into a bed for Barbie.\", \"描述\": \"Find an old shoebox from your closet, garage, or other storage spot and empty it out. Place a washcloth or small blanket inside, as well as something that will be used as a pillow. Now Barbie has a bed ready for sleeping!\\nCreate a pillow by stuffing a piece of fabric or a cloth bag with tissues or stuffing.\\nDecorate the sides of the bed using markers, pencils, or paint.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tie ribbon onto a small hair band to make a tutu for Barbie.\", \"描述\": \"Find an extra hair tie and ribbon that you like. Cut the ribbon into 6 in (15 cm) sections, and then tie the ribbon onto the hair tie so that the middle of the ribbon is where the knot is. Do this all the way around the hair tie to create a fun tutu.\\nUse different colored or patterned ribbon to make the tutu super colorful.\\nIf your hair tie is too big and won’t fit Barbie, find a rubber band and cut it before tying a new knot to make it the perfect size.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Design chairs using cardboard and paper clips.\", \"描述\": \"Use scissors to cut cardboard into strips that are at least 3 in (7.6 cm) wide. By bending these strips of cardboard, you can create simple chairs or chaise lounges. If you want the chair to stand up off the ground, bend paper clips to form chair ends and use glue or tape to attach them to the bottom of the chairs.\\nFold a 6 in (15 cm) long piece of cardboard in half to create a simple chair.\\nFold a 9 in (23 cm) long piece of cardboard into thirds to form a chaise lounge.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Brush Barbie's hair with care.\\n\", \"Use acetone to remove makeup from Barbie's face, if needed. Be careful though, if you get acetone on the eyes or lips, her face may rub off.\\n\", \"Don't put Barbie's head in water, because the water can stay inside and become mouldy.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Make sure Barbie, including her hair, is safe to put in water before doing so.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,667 | How to Be Creative when Telling Your Husband He's Going to Be a Dad | 1. Breaking the News
1-1. Give your husband the positive pregnancy test.
There are many different ways to give your husband the positive pregnancy test and surprise him. From taking a picture to switching out the test for other items, your husband may not be expecting what he receives.
Take a picture of the test and upload it to your computer. Set it as the background image.
Tell your husband that you have not been feeling well all day. When he is somewhat distracted, tell him you are going to take your temperature. Come back and tell him you need help reading the thermometer and place the positive pregnancy test in his hand.
Ask your husband to sign a birthday card for a friend. Hand him the positive pregnancy test instead of a pen.
1-2. Present your husband with a special gift.
Give your husband a special gift to mark the occasion of telling him your news. A personalized present may heighten the surprise and anticipation as you tell him—especially if he’s not expecting it—and may also give you a special memento of the day.
Make a custom t-shirt with cute, short message. You can make the t-shirt for anyone: for your husband, a tee with the word “dad” would work. You could also get a shirt with “bun in the oven” or a shirt for one of your other children, if you have them, that says “big brother” or “big sister.”
You could purchase keepsakes such as a silver cup or silver teething ring. You can write a special message in a card that says “in a few months, we can engrave this with the newest member of our family’s name.”
Consider something that your husband loves and incorporate that into a gift. For example, if your husband loves hiking, buy a small pair of hiking boots and backpack and say “for your new hiking partner.”
Purchase a small ceramic piggy bank and write “Baby’s College Fund” on it.
You could hide the gift in his dresser, closet, or gym bag so that he finds out in the course of day when he likely least expects it.
1-3. Enjoy a special meal—with an added surprise.
Either cook a special meal or go out to your favorite restaurant. Use this occasion to put a surprise in your husband’s meal or tell him at a key moment you’re together.
You can cook your husband’s favorite foods or a “baby specific” specific meal of foods like baby corn, baby carrots, or even baby food.
You can go out to your favorite restaurant to make the occasion more special or memorable.
You can incorporate different ways to tell your husband. For example, you could buy a plastic baby at a party supply store and put it in the food or ask the restaurant to put it in whatever dish he orders.
You could get a bottle of wine and have a special label placed on it telling your husband he’s going to be a dad. Likewise, you can make a label for something you are cooking together at home.
If your husband suggests wine or beer over dinner, say you can’t have it and explain why. You can use a cute phrase like “our baby doesn’t like the taste of wine (or beer) just yet.”
Tell him with a dessert. Bake or buy a cake with the message such as “congrats, you’re going to be a dad!”
1-4. Send a card from your baby.
Purchase a beautiful card or some nice paper and compose a letter or note from your baby to your husband. It doesn’t need to be long or elaborate, just fun, warm, and to the point.
You don’t necessarily need to buy a baby card. A plain card can help heighten the surprise.
Send the card in the mail so that your husband doesn’t have an idea what’s in the card. You may want to consider having someone else write it so he doesn’t recognize your handwriting.
Write something like “Dear Christopher, I can’t wait to meet you in eight months and I know mom is looking forward to enjoying new adventures with both of us.” Sign the card “your baby.”
1-5. Announce the news through another family member.
If you have a pet or other children, let them break the happy news to your husband. This may catch him off guard and make him even more surprised or may also make another funny memory.
If you have a dog or cat, you could place a small placard around their neck to announce the news.
You could also find some type of toy that your dog or cat can present to your husband that will clue him in to the new arrival.
Have one of your other children tell your husband. It can be a very simple message such as “mom says she’s having another baby” or another phrase that plays on your child’s personality.
1-6. Purchase signage.
You can buy some type of signage to tell your husband the news. You can go big and bold via a billboard, or get something small like a “baby on board sign” for your car.
Make sure the sign is commensurate with your husband’s personality. For example, if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and your husband is outgoing, you could put a billboard up on his daily commute so that he’ll see it when he least suspects it.
If your husband is shy or you don’t want to broadcast your news to the world just yet, you can get a discreet “baby on board” sign for your car. Either place it in the car or nonchalantly around your house so he finds it.
Write the good news on a tiny piece of paper that can fit into a fortune cookie. Order Chinese food and replace the message in the fortune cookie with yours. Make that sure that he reads his fortune and gets the surprise! You may even be able to purchase fortune cookies specifically with the surprise that your husband is going to be a dad. Many companies offer this kind of product.
1-7. Stage a scene.
Borrow baby paraphernalia from a friend or pick some up at a local store. Scatter the items all over the house while your husband is at work. When he comes home, let him figure out what’s going on or allow him to ask you before sharing the great news.
You could get toys and stage a “playroom” scene in your living room. Try bottles or baby food jars in your kitchen for a similar effect.
1-8. Create a scavenger hunt.
Buy a few inexpensive items that hint at your pregnancy and place these around your house. Hide yourself and leave a note for him to point you to your hiding place so that you can deliver your good news.
Scatter the items around the house for your husband to find with clues at each stage. Hopefully, he’ll figure out your message before he finds you!
1-9. Park in an “expectant mothers” spot.
Take a trip to a local store with your husband and offer to drive. When you arrive at the parking lot, pull into an expectant mothers parking spot.
2. Preparing for Baby Together
2-1. Realize that life will change.
Having a baby changes individual lives and that of a couple in significant ways. By understanding and talking about the inevitable changes that will happen, you can prevent misunderstandings and potential problems in your relationship.
Women are hard-wired to focus on nurturing their baby in the first few months after birth. Being aware of this along with inherent changes can help your husband prepare himself mentally.
For example, most women don’t want to have sex in the initial months after giving birth—and some don’t even want to have sex during pregnancy. But men don’t experience this change. Understand that it’s hormonal and make a plan for how you’ll deal with it.
2-2. Inform yourselves.
There are all kinds of books and websites available to help you prepare for your child. Gather information from your doctor, friends, books, and websites to help you navigate your pregnancy as a couple.
Ask your doctor and friends for tips and resources that can be valuable during and after pregnancy.
You may want to consult sources that explain what is happening to your body at every stage so that you and your husband understand the changes you’re both experiencing.
2-3. Work on your relationship.
One of the best gifts you can give your baby is a strong partnership. Keeping your relationship strong and healthy throughout your pregnancy and beyond can help you effectively prepare and care for your baby.
It’s important at this time to have discussions about all kinds of matters including expectations, family values and how you’ll raise your children. Even if you can agree completely, you can find some kind of compromise that may help to prevent undermining your relationship.
Schedule ample time together to enjoy life as a couple. You can go for walks or have more formal date nights or vacations to strengthen your bond.
2-4. Discuss budget and workload.
Babies are expensive and require a lot of time and attention. Talking about your finances and how you’ll share the work of taking care of your baby can help avoid miscommunications down the road.
You may want to discuss workload during your pregnancy, especially as you get into your third trimester, when it can get difficult to move. Talk about cleaning and feeding pets, and other household work you share.
Consider talking about how this will change once your baby arrives and how you will tackle household work with a newborn, which can help prevent couples from getting resentful of one another.
2-5. Involve your husband as much as possible.
Keeping your husband an active part of your preparations for baby is key to maintaining your relationship and helping him to at least preliminarily bond with the baby. Make sure to schedule doctor’s appointments so that he can attend and purchase baby gear together to help enjoy your impending arrival more fully.
You don’t necessarily need a fully designed nursery, but create your baby’s room with your husband. Buy furniture, clothing and any other accouterments together.
Make sure your husband is present for important doctor’s appointments, including sonograms or listening to the heartbeat.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Breaking the News\\n1-1. Give your husband the positive pregnancy test.\\nThere are many different ways to give your husband the positive pregnancy test and surprise him. From taking a picture to switching out the test for other items, your husband may not be expecting what he receives.\\nTake a picture of the test and upload it to your computer. Set it as the background image.\\nTell your husband that you have not been feeling well all day. When he is somewhat distracted, tell him you are going to take your temperature. Come back and tell him you need help reading the thermometer and place the positive pregnancy test in his hand.\\nAsk your husband to sign a birthday card for a friend. Hand him the positive pregnancy test instead of a pen.\\n1-2. Present your husband with a special gift.\\nGive your husband a special gift to mark the occasion of telling him your news. A personalized present may heighten the surprise and anticipation as you tell him—especially if he’s not expecting it—and may also give you a special memento of the day.\\nMake a custom t-shirt with cute, short message. You can make the t-shirt for anyone: for your husband, a tee with the word “dad” would work. You could also get a shirt with “bun in the oven” or a shirt for one of your other children, if you have them, that says “big brother” or “big sister.”\\nYou could purchase keepsakes such as a silver cup or silver teething ring. You can write a special message in a card that says “in a few months, we can engrave this with the newest member of our family’s name.”\\nConsider something that your husband loves and incorporate that into a gift. For example, if your husband loves hiking, buy a small pair of hiking boots and backpack and say “for your new hiking partner.”\\nPurchase a small ceramic piggy bank and write “Baby’s College Fund” on it.\\nYou could hide the gift in his dresser, closet, or gym bag so that he finds out in the course of day when he likely least expects it.\\n1-3. Enjoy a special meal—with an added surprise.\\nEither cook a special meal or go out to your favorite restaurant. Use this occasion to put a surprise in your husband’s meal or tell him at a key moment you’re together.\\nYou can cook your husband’s favorite foods or a “baby specific” specific meal of foods like baby corn, baby carrots, or even baby food.\\nYou can go out to your favorite restaurant to make the occasion more special or memorable.\\nYou can incorporate different ways to tell your husband. For example, you could buy a plastic baby at a party supply store and put it in the food or ask the restaurant to put it in whatever dish he orders.\\nYou could get a bottle of wine and have a special label placed on it telling your husband he’s going to be a dad. Likewise, you can make a label for something you are cooking together at home.\\nIf your husband suggests wine or beer over dinner, say you can’t have it and explain why. You can use a cute phrase like “our baby doesn’t like the taste of wine (or beer) just yet.”\\nTell him with a dessert. Bake or buy a cake with the message such as “congrats, you’re going to be a dad!”\\n1-4. Send a card from your baby.\\nPurchase a beautiful card or some nice paper and compose a letter or note from your baby to your husband. It doesn’t need to be long or elaborate, just fun, warm, and to the point.\\nYou don’t necessarily need to buy a baby card. A plain card can help heighten the surprise.\\nSend the card in the mail so that your husband doesn’t have an idea what’s in the card. You may want to consider having someone else write it so he doesn’t recognize your handwriting.\\nWrite something like “Dear Christopher, I can’t wait to meet you in eight months and I know mom is looking forward to enjoying new adventures with both of us.” Sign the card “your baby.”\\n1-5. Announce the news through another family member.\\nIf you have a pet or other children, let them break the happy news to your husband. This may catch him off guard and make him even more surprised or may also make another funny memory.\\nIf you have a dog or cat, you could place a small placard around their neck to announce the news.\\nYou could also find some type of toy that your dog or cat can present to your husband that will clue him in to the new arrival.\\nHave one of your other children tell your husband. It can be a very simple message such as “mom says she’s having another baby” or another phrase that plays on your child’s personality.\\n1-6. Purchase signage.\\nYou can buy some type of signage to tell your husband the news. You can go big and bold via a billboard, or get something small like a “baby on board sign” for your car.\\nMake sure the sign is commensurate with your husband’s personality. For example, if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and your husband is outgoing, you could put a billboard up on his daily commute so that he’ll see it when he least suspects it.\\nIf your husband is shy or you don’t want to broadcast your news to the world just yet, you can get a discreet “baby on board” sign for your car. Either place it in the car or nonchalantly around your house so he finds it.\\nWrite the good news on a tiny piece of paper that can fit into a fortune cookie. Order Chinese food and replace the message in the fortune cookie with yours. Make that sure that he reads his fortune and gets the surprise! You may even be able to purchase fortune cookies specifically with the surprise that your husband is going to be a dad. Many companies offer this kind of product.\\n1-7. Stage a scene.\\nBorrow baby paraphernalia from a friend or pick some up at a local store. Scatter the items all over the house while your husband is at work. When he comes home, let him figure out what’s going on or allow him to ask you before sharing the great news.\\nYou could get toys and stage a “playroom” scene in your living room. Try bottles or baby food jars in your kitchen for a similar effect.\\n1-8. Create a scavenger hunt.\\nBuy a few inexpensive items that hint at your pregnancy and place these around your house. Hide yourself and leave a note for him to point you to your hiding place so that you can deliver your good news.\\nScatter the items around the house for your husband to find with clues at each stage. Hopefully, he’ll figure out your message before he finds you!\\n1-9. Park in an “expectant mothers” spot.\\nTake a trip to a local store with your husband and offer to drive. When you arrive at the parking lot, pull into an expectant mothers parking spot.\\n2. Preparing for Baby Together\\n2-1. Realize that life will change.\\nHaving a baby changes individual lives and that of a couple in significant ways. By understanding and talking about the inevitable changes that will happen, you can prevent misunderstandings and potential problems in your relationship.\\nWomen are hard-wired to focus on nurturing their baby in the first few months after birth. Being aware of this along with inherent changes can help your husband prepare himself mentally.\\nFor example, most women don’t want to have sex in the initial months after giving birth—and some don’t even want to have sex during pregnancy. But men don’t experience this change. Understand that it’s hormonal and make a plan for how you’ll deal with it.\\n2-2. Inform yourselves.\\nThere are all kinds of books and websites available to help you prepare for your child. Gather information from your doctor, friends, books, and websites to help you navigate your pregnancy as a couple.\\nAsk your doctor and friends for tips and resources that can be valuable during and after pregnancy.\\nYou may want to consult sources that explain what is happening to your body at every stage so that you and your husband understand the changes you’re both experiencing.\\n2-3. Work on your relationship.\\nOne of the best gifts you can give your baby is a strong partnership. Keeping your relationship strong and healthy throughout your pregnancy and beyond can help you effectively prepare and care for your baby.\\nIt’s important at this time to have discussions about all kinds of matters including expectations, family values and how you’ll raise your children. Even if you can agree completely, you can find some kind of compromise that may help to prevent undermining your relationship.\\nSchedule ample time together to enjoy life as a couple. You can go for walks or have more formal date nights or vacations to strengthen your bond.\\n2-4. Discuss budget and workload.\\nBabies are expensive and require a lot of time and attention. Talking about your finances and how you’ll share the work of taking care of your baby can help avoid miscommunications down the road.\\nYou may want to discuss workload during your pregnancy, especially as you get into your third trimester, when it can get difficult to move. Talk about cleaning and feeding pets, and other household work you share.\\nConsider talking about how this will change once your baby arrives and how you will tackle household work with a newborn, which can help prevent couples from getting resentful of one another.\\n2-5. Involve your husband as much as possible.\\nKeeping your husband an active part of your preparations for baby is key to maintaining your relationship and helping him to at least preliminarily bond with the baby. Make sure to schedule doctor’s appointments so that he can attend and purchase baby gear together to help enjoy your impending arrival more fully.\\nYou don’t necessarily need a fully designed nursery, but create your baby’s room with your husband. Buy furniture, clothing and any other accouterments together.\\nMake sure your husband is present for important doctor’s appointments, including sonograms or listening to the heartbeat.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Becoming parents is one of the most exciting times in the life of any couple. If you discover you’re pregnant, the first person you likely want to tell is your husband or life partner. But you may want to find a special or clever way to break the happy news. With some simple planning and preparation, you can tell your husband that he’s going to be a dad and have a special memory to cherish in coming years.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Breaking the News\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your husband the positive pregnancy test.\", \"描述\": \"There are many different ways to give your husband the positive pregnancy test and surprise him. From taking a picture to switching out the test for other items, your husband may not be expecting what he receives.\\nTake a picture of the test and upload it to your computer. Set it as the background image.\\nTell your husband that you have not been feeling well all day. When he is somewhat distracted, tell him you are going to take your temperature. Come back and tell him you need help reading the thermometer and place the positive pregnancy test in his hand.\\nAsk your husband to sign a birthday card for a friend. Hand him the positive pregnancy test instead of a pen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Present your husband with a special gift.\", \"描述\": \"Give your husband a special gift to mark the occasion of telling him your news. A personalized present may heighten the surprise and anticipation as you tell him—especially if he’s not expecting it—and may also give you a special memento of the day.\\nMake a custom t-shirt with cute, short message. You can make the t-shirt for anyone: for your husband, a tee with the word “dad” would work. You could also get a shirt with “bun in the oven” or a shirt for one of your other children, if you have them, that says “big brother” or “big sister.”\\nYou could purchase keepsakes such as a silver cup or silver teething ring. You can write a special message in a card that says “in a few months, we can engrave this with the newest member of our family’s name.”\\nConsider something that your husband loves and incorporate that into a gift. For example, if your husband loves hiking, buy a small pair of hiking boots and backpack and say “for your new hiking partner.”\\nPurchase a small ceramic piggy bank and write “Baby’s College Fund” on it.\\nYou could hide the gift in his dresser, closet, or gym bag so that he finds out in the course of day when he likely least expects it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoy a special meal—with an added surprise.\", \"描述\": \"Either cook a special meal or go out to your favorite restaurant. Use this occasion to put a surprise in your husband’s meal or tell him at a key moment you’re together.\\nYou can cook your husband’s favorite foods or a “baby specific” specific meal of foods like baby corn, baby carrots, or even baby food.\\nYou can go out to your favorite restaurant to make the occasion more special or memorable.\\nYou can incorporate different ways to tell your husband. For example, you could buy a plastic baby at a party supply store and put it in the food or ask the restaurant to put it in whatever dish he orders.\\nYou could get a bottle of wine and have a special label placed on it telling your husband he’s going to be a dad. Likewise, you can make a label for something you are cooking together at home.\\nIf your husband suggests wine or beer over dinner, say you can’t have it and explain why. You can use a cute phrase like “our baby doesn’t like the taste of wine (or beer) just yet.”\\nTell him with a dessert. Bake or buy a cake with the message such as “congrats, you’re going to be a dad!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send a card from your baby.\", \"描述\": \"Purchase a beautiful card or some nice paper and compose a letter or note from your baby to your husband. It doesn’t need to be long or elaborate, just fun, warm, and to the point.\\nYou don’t necessarily need to buy a baby card. A plain card can help heighten the surprise.\\nSend the card in the mail so that your husband doesn’t have an idea what’s in the card. You may want to consider having someone else write it so he doesn’t recognize your handwriting.\\nWrite something like “Dear Christopher, I can’t wait to meet you in eight months and I know mom is looking forward to enjoying new adventures with both of us.” Sign the card “your baby.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Announce the news through another family member.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a pet or other children, let them break the happy news to your husband. This may catch him off guard and make him even more surprised or may also make another funny memory.\\nIf you have a dog or cat, you could place a small placard around their neck to announce the news.\\nYou could also find some type of toy that your dog or cat can present to your husband that will clue him in to the new arrival.\\nHave one of your other children tell your husband. It can be a very simple message such as “mom says she’s having another baby” or another phrase that plays on your child’s personality.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Purchase signage.\", \"描述\": \"You can buy some type of signage to tell your husband the news. You can go big and bold via a billboard, or get something small like a “baby on board sign” for your car.\\nMake sure the sign is commensurate with your husband’s personality. For example, if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and your husband is outgoing, you could put a billboard up on his daily commute so that he’ll see it when he least suspects it.\\nIf your husband is shy or you don’t want to broadcast your news to the world just yet, you can get a discreet “baby on board” sign for your car. Either place it in the car or nonchalantly around your house so he finds it.\\nWrite the good news on a tiny piece of paper that can fit into a fortune cookie. Order Chinese food and replace the message in the fortune cookie with yours. Make that sure that he reads his fortune and gets the surprise! You may even be able to purchase fortune cookies specifically with the surprise that your husband is going to be a dad. Many companies offer this kind of product.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stage a scene.\", \"描述\": \"Borrow baby paraphernalia from a friend or pick some up at a local store. Scatter the items all over the house while your husband is at work. When he comes home, let him figure out what’s going on or allow him to ask you before sharing the great news.\\nYou could get toys and stage a “playroom” scene in your living room. Try bottles or baby food jars in your kitchen for a similar effect.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Create a scavenger hunt.\", \"描述\": \"Buy a few inexpensive items that hint at your pregnancy and place these around your house. Hide yourself and leave a note for him to point you to your hiding place so that you can deliver your good news.\\nScatter the items around the house for your husband to find with clues at each stage. Hopefully, he’ll figure out your message before he finds you!\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Park in an “expectant mothers” spot.\", \"描述\": \"Take a trip to a local store with your husband and offer to drive. When you arrive at the parking lot, pull into an expectant mothers parking spot.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Baby Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that life will change.\", \"描述\": \"Having a baby changes individual lives and that of a couple in significant ways. By understanding and talking about the inevitable changes that will happen, you can prevent misunderstandings and potential problems in your relationship.\\nWomen are hard-wired to focus on nurturing their baby in the first few months after birth. Being aware of this along with inherent changes can help your husband prepare himself mentally.\\nFor example, most women don’t want to have sex in the initial months after giving birth—and some don’t even want to have sex during pregnancy. But men don’t experience this change. Understand that it’s hormonal and make a plan for how you’ll deal with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Inform yourselves.\", \"描述\": \"There are all kinds of books and websites available to help you prepare for your child. Gather information from your doctor, friends, books, and websites to help you navigate your pregnancy as a couple.\\nAsk your doctor and friends for tips and resources that can be valuable during and after pregnancy.\\nYou may want to consult sources that explain what is happening to your body at every stage so that you and your husband understand the changes you’re both experiencing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best gifts you can give your baby is a strong partnership. Keeping your relationship strong and healthy throughout your pregnancy and beyond can help you effectively prepare and care for your baby.\\nIt’s important at this time to have discussions about all kinds of matters including expectations, family values and how you’ll raise your children. Even if you can agree completely, you can find some kind of compromise that may help to prevent undermining your relationship.\\nSchedule ample time together to enjoy life as a couple. You can go for walks or have more formal date nights or vacations to strengthen your bond.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss budget and workload.\", \"描述\": \"Babies are expensive and require a lot of time and attention. Talking about your finances and how you’ll share the work of taking care of your baby can help avoid miscommunications down the road.\\nYou may want to discuss workload during your pregnancy, especially as you get into your third trimester, when it can get difficult to move. Talk about cleaning and feeding pets, and other household work you share.\\nConsider talking about how this will change once your baby arrives and how you will tackle household work with a newborn, which can help prevent couples from getting resentful of one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Involve your husband as much as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your husband an active part of your preparations for baby is key to maintaining your relationship and helping him to at least preliminarily bond with the baby. Make sure to schedule doctor’s appointments so that he can attend and purchase baby gear together to help enjoy your impending arrival more fully.\\nYou don’t necessarily need a fully designed nursery, but create your baby’s room with your husband. Buy furniture, clothing and any other accouterments together.\\nMake sure your husband is present for important doctor’s appointments, including sonograms or listening to the heartbeat.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,668 | How to Be Crushed on in School (Girls) | 1. Being Attractive
1-1. Be clean.
No matter how pretty or nice you are, no one's going to like you if you look or smell dirty. Take regular showers, and use a light-scented body wash and a loofah. Use a sweet-smelling lotion after your bath/shower. Use deodorant if you want. Brush your teeth twice a day and make sure to wear clean, fresh clothes. Also don't do anything gross in public like pick your boogers or something.
1-2. Have gorgeous hair.
Don't wash your hair every day, only wash it 2-3 times a week. If your hair gets disgustingly oily in a day without washing, invest in a good dry shampoo. Use a good shampoo and conditioner and make sure it smells subtle but pleasant. Try to let your hair air dry and use heat as less often as possible. Use a heat protectant if you must use heat on your hair regularly. Don't bleach or dye your hair too much either. Curl it, straighten it, put it in a bun, ponytail, braid, anything you want. Or you could just leave it down. Use some cute hair ties and hair accessories. Switch up your hairstyles and make sure they look cute with your outfit. Make sure it is tangle-free and soft.
1-3. Have a sense of style.
You can't be wearing Hello Kitty long sleeved T-shirts and huge, grey sweatpants every day. Shop at places like Forever 21, H&M, Aeropostale, Brandy Melville, Lulu Lemon, etc. Own a lot of black leggings. Those go with anything. Make sure not to go too crazy with patterns or colours. For example, if you wear a striped shirt, try to wear solid-coloured pants. Black and white is a timeless trend. Wear what you think looks nice on you and also keep in mind your comfort. Poky clothes just ruin your day. Also get one pair of good runners (Nike is a good brand), some Uggs, a pair of converse, and some cute flats. Good shoes take you good places. Wear jewelry tastefully and try to wear real jewelry instead of fake jewelry.
1-4. Be healthy.
Being healthy solves all your problems. You have shiny hair, strong nails, porcelain skin, and you feel great. Indulge in junk food but don't go overboard, and try to eat healthy foods too. Eat lots of fruits and veggies as well as protein like chicken, eggs, nuts, tofu, etc. Drink lots of water and get a good amount of sleep. Sleep is one of the most important things ever. Try to get some exercise in each week. You could play a sport, ride your bike around the neighbourhood, go to the gym, do some crunches and push ups at home, anything you want. Just get that heart beating and muscles working.
1-5. Be a good student.
Try to be as organized as possible, as it makes school much less stressful. If you aren't an organized person, make a plan to be organized starting the next school year. Listen to the teacher (this is like 60% of being a good student), take good notes (use colourful gel pens to make it more fun), study (read the textbook, use index cards, study with a friend, etc.), and just try your best. Be confident that you're going to ace that test/project/assignment. Try to participate and ask questions if you don't understand as well. Also make sure to do your homework. At all times. No excuses. Getting good grades makes your future that much brighter and it makes you feel good about yourself. People also see smart people as more attractive and enviable.
1-6. Smile.
If you're that girl who always keeps a smile on her face and positive thoughts, everyone's going to like you. Make sure to smile even when you're feeling down and laugh whenever you feel like it. Even if no one else is laughing. Try not to be negative or looking at the floor all day. Just remember to be yourself and be nice to everyone.
2. Getting Crushed On
2-1. Make up a secret nickname for your crush with your closest friends.
Something like "couch potato" or a twist on their name or some kind of inside joke is always fun. Make sure to only tell your closest friends who your crush is just so you can talk about them with them and not keep your feelings bottled up.
2-2. Get them to notice you.
If you're really quiet or shy, this is the most daunting step. Try to get them to notice you by making eye contact when they do talk to you, or laughing at their jokes. Make sure to walk confidently and be slightly bold. If you want to do something old-fashioned, try to "accidentally" bump into them in the halls. Your books will go everywhere and if they say sorry you could say something like "That's okay it was my fault too." This just gets them to notice you. They can't like you if they don't even know you exist. If you're not afraid, try to make conversation with them and get to know them a bit more. If you're laughing about something no one else knows about with your friends, you can get noticed too.
2-3. Try to start flirting.
Do really subtle things like play with your hair or smile directly at them. Try to tease them a little and steal their stuff once you're a bit more comfortable with them. If you want, you could add some physical contact in by nudging them with your elbow or even hugging them once you get really comfortable.
Tips
Don't wear too much makeup.
Try not to be rude or mean to anyone.
Try to smile and look at them and then shift your eyes somewhere else for the rest of the class.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Attractive\\n1-1. Be clean.\\nNo matter how pretty or nice you are, no one's going to like you if you look or smell dirty. Take regular showers, and use a light-scented body wash and a loofah. Use a sweet-smelling lotion after your bath/shower. Use deodorant if you want. Brush your teeth twice a day and make sure to wear clean, fresh clothes. Also don't do anything gross in public like pick your boogers or something.\\n1-2. Have gorgeous hair.\\nDon't wash your hair every day, only wash it 2-3 times a week. If your hair gets disgustingly oily in a day without washing, invest in a good dry shampoo. Use a good shampoo and conditioner and make sure it smells subtle but pleasant. Try to let your hair air dry and use heat as less often as possible. Use a heat protectant if you must use heat on your hair regularly. Don't bleach or dye your hair too much either. Curl it, straighten it, put it in a bun, ponytail, braid, anything you want. Or you could just leave it down. Use some cute hair ties and hair accessories. Switch up your hairstyles and make sure they look cute with your outfit. Make sure it is tangle-free and soft.\\n1-3. Have a sense of style.\\nYou can't be wearing Hello Kitty long sleeved T-shirts and huge, grey sweatpants every day. Shop at places like Forever 21, H&M, Aeropostale, Brandy Melville, Lulu Lemon, etc. Own a lot of black leggings. Those go with anything. Make sure not to go too crazy with patterns or colours. For example, if you wear a striped shirt, try to wear solid-coloured pants. Black and white is a timeless trend. Wear what you think looks nice on you and also keep in mind your comfort. Poky clothes just ruin your day. Also get one pair of good runners (Nike is a good brand), some Uggs, a pair of converse, and some cute flats. Good shoes take you good places. Wear jewelry tastefully and try to wear real jewelry instead of fake jewelry.\\n1-4. Be healthy.\\nBeing healthy solves all your problems. You have shiny hair, strong nails, porcelain skin, and you feel great. Indulge in junk food but don't go overboard, and try to eat healthy foods too. Eat lots of fruits and veggies as well as protein like chicken, eggs, nuts, tofu, etc. Drink lots of water and get a good amount of sleep. Sleep is one of the most important things ever. Try to get some exercise in each week. You could play a sport, ride your bike around the neighbourhood, go to the gym, do some crunches and push ups at home, anything you want. Just get that heart beating and muscles working.\\n1-5. Be a good student.\\nTry to be as organized as possible, as it makes school much less stressful. If you aren't an organized person, make a plan to be organized starting the next school year. Listen to the teacher (this is like 60% of being a good student), take good notes (use colourful gel pens to make it more fun), study (read the textbook, use index cards, study with a friend, etc.), and just try your best. Be confident that you're going to ace that test/project/assignment. Try to participate and ask questions if you don't understand as well. Also make sure to do your homework. At all times. No excuses. Getting good grades makes your future that much brighter and it makes you feel good about yourself. People also see smart people as more attractive and enviable.\\n1-6. Smile.\\nIf you're that girl who always keeps a smile on her face and positive thoughts, everyone's going to like you. Make sure to smile even when you're feeling down and laugh whenever you feel like it. Even if no one else is laughing. Try not to be negative or looking at the floor all day. Just remember to be yourself and be nice to everyone.\\n2. Getting Crushed On\\n2-1. Make up a secret nickname for your crush with your closest friends.\\nSomething like \\\"couch potato\\\" or a twist on their name or some kind of inside joke is always fun. Make sure to only tell your closest friends who your crush is just so you can talk about them with them and not keep your feelings bottled up.\\n2-2. Get them to notice you.\\nIf you're really quiet or shy, this is the most daunting step. Try to get them to notice you by making eye contact when they do talk to you, or laughing at their jokes. Make sure to walk confidently and be slightly bold. If you want to do something old-fashioned, try to \\\"accidentally\\\" bump into them in the halls. Your books will go everywhere and if they say sorry you could say something like \\\"That's okay it was my fault too.\\\" This just gets them to notice you. They can't like you if they don't even know you exist. If you're not afraid, try to make conversation with them and get to know them a bit more. If you're laughing about something no one else knows about with your friends, you can get noticed too.\\n2-3. Try to start flirting.\\nDo really subtle things like play with your hair or smile directly at them. Try to tease them a little and steal their stuff once you're a bit more comfortable with them. If you want, you could add some physical contact in by nudging them with your elbow or even hugging them once you get really comfortable.\\nTips\\nDon't wear too much makeup.\\nTry not to be rude or mean to anyone.\\nTry to smile and look at them and then shift your eyes somewhere else for the rest of the class.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to be that gorgeous girl who knows every boy (or girl) is staring and longing for her, yet pretends she doesn't notice a thing? Whether you want to win one person's attention or just get everyone to develop a secret affection for you, read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Attractive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be clean.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how pretty or nice you are, no one's going to like you if you look or smell dirty. Take regular showers, and use a light-scented body wash and a loofah. Use a sweet-smelling lotion after your bath/shower. Use deodorant if you want. Brush your teeth twice a day and make sure to wear clean, fresh clothes. Also don't do anything gross in public like pick your boogers or something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have gorgeous hair.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wash your hair every day, only wash it 2-3 times a week. If your hair gets disgustingly oily in a day without washing, invest in a good dry shampoo. Use a good shampoo and conditioner and make sure it smells subtle but pleasant. Try to let your hair air dry and use heat as less often as possible. Use a heat protectant if you must use heat on your hair regularly. Don't bleach or dye your hair too much either. Curl it, straighten it, put it in a bun, ponytail, braid, anything you want. Or you could just leave it down. Use some cute hair ties and hair accessories. Switch up your hairstyles and make sure they look cute with your outfit. Make sure it is tangle-free and soft.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a sense of style.\", \"描述\": \"You can't be wearing Hello Kitty long sleeved T-shirts and huge, grey sweatpants every day. Shop at places like Forever 21, H&M, Aeropostale, Brandy Melville, Lulu Lemon, etc. Own a lot of black leggings. Those go with anything. Make sure not to go too crazy with patterns or colours. For example, if you wear a striped shirt, try to wear solid-coloured pants. Black and white is a timeless trend. Wear what you think looks nice on you and also keep in mind your comfort. Poky clothes just ruin your day. Also get one pair of good runners (Nike is a good brand), some Uggs, a pair of converse, and some cute flats. Good shoes take you good places. Wear jewelry tastefully and try to wear real jewelry instead of fake jewelry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Being healthy solves all your problems. You have shiny hair, strong nails, porcelain skin, and you feel great. Indulge in junk food but don't go overboard, and try to eat healthy foods too. Eat lots of fruits and veggies as well as protein like chicken, eggs, nuts, tofu, etc. Drink lots of water and get a good amount of sleep. Sleep is one of the most important things ever. Try to get some exercise in each week. You could play a sport, ride your bike around the neighbourhood, go to the gym, do some crunches and push ups at home, anything you want. Just get that heart beating and muscles working.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be a good student.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be as organized as possible, as it makes school much less stressful. If you aren't an organized person, make a plan to be organized starting the next school year. Listen to the teacher (this is like 60% of being a good student), take good notes (use colourful gel pens to make it more fun), study (read the textbook, use index cards, study with a friend, etc.), and just try your best. Be confident that you're going to ace that test/project/assignment. Try to participate and ask questions if you don't understand as well. Also make sure to do your homework. At all times. No excuses. Getting good grades makes your future that much brighter and it makes you feel good about yourself. People also see smart people as more attractive and enviable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"If you're that girl who always keeps a smile on her face and positive thoughts, everyone's going to like you. Make sure to smile even when you're feeling down and laugh whenever you feel like it. Even if no one else is laughing. Try not to be negative or looking at the floor all day. Just remember to be yourself and be nice to everyone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Crushed On\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make up a secret nickname for your crush with your closest friends.\", \"描述\": \"Something like \\\"couch potato\\\" or a twist on their name or some kind of inside joke is always fun. Make sure to only tell your closest friends who your crush is just so you can talk about them with them and not keep your feelings bottled up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get them to notice you.\", \"描述\": \"If you're really quiet or shy, this is the most daunting step. Try to get them to notice you by making eye contact when they do talk to you, or laughing at their jokes. Make sure to walk confidently and be slightly bold. If you want to do something old-fashioned, try to \\\"accidentally\\\" bump into them in the halls. Your books will go everywhere and if they say sorry you could say something like \\\"That's okay it was my fault too.\\\" This just gets them to notice you. They can't like you if they don't even know you exist. If you're not afraid, try to make conversation with them and get to know them a bit more. If you're laughing about something no one else knows about with your friends, you can get noticed too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to start flirting.\", \"描述\": \"Do really subtle things like play with your hair or smile directly at them. Try to tease them a little and steal their stuff once you're a bit more comfortable with them. If you want, you could add some physical contact in by nudging them with your elbow or even hugging them once you get really comfortable.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't wear too much makeup.\\n\", \"Try not to be rude or mean to anyone.\\n\", \"Try to smile and look at them and then shift your eyes somewhere else for the rest of the class.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,669 | How to Be Cunning | 1. Being Perceptive
1-1. Always seek more information.
Cunning people perceive things that others miss. They see life’s hidden machinery - the real motives that drive interactions, rather than the stated motives. The first, most important step to seeing things as they actually are is to always get as much information as possible before making your decisions. This can be as simple as taking the time to look around before dropping an anonymous love note into someone’s locker so that you don’t get spotted or as complex and involved as doing hours of research on the person you’re about to interview so that you can surprise him with particularly biting questions. When approaching all major decisions, keep your eyes peeled and have a voracious thirst for more information. You can never be too well-informed.
In order to see the whole picture, first the speed has to slow down. You want to have a wide range of understanding about your circumstances or your surroundings before acting. Usually, the people who are not very perceptive are the one who cannot have perspective on both sides, and they sometimes tend to get into this bias, protective bias.
1-2. Question others’ motives.
Cunning people are renowned for their ability to see through others’ facades. Almost everyone tells white lies on a daily basis - it’s perfectly natural. A cunning person sees a person’s true intentions - he does this because he’s able to “read” people and also because he’s done his homework (see above.) Never assume someone’s telling you the truth until you have supporting evidence. However, it's also not wise to instantly assume everyone is lying. Use the information available to you to make your best guess at someone’s true motivation.
Try to build your ability to read others’ faces. Most people are good liars, but not great ones. With practice, you may find that you’re able to notice when the emotion on a person’s face doesn’t match with what he or she is saying.
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1-3. Look for small details.
Cunning people never balk at the prospect of closely scrutinizing people and things for small details that may be manipulated for their benefit. Try to be a stickler for details, within reason. For instance, read every line of your contract rather than glossing over the entire thing. If you pay attention to life’s details, you’ll find yourself better-equipped to exploit opportunities when they present themselves.
Paying attention to details isn’t only useful for grim, serious purposes. If you’re in a prank war with friends, for example, pay attention to your surroundings when you enter your room - if you see any small detail that’s out of the ordinary, you have reason to be suspicious.
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1-4. Be alert.
A person can’t be cunning if she is too tired, unfocused, or distracted to notice what’s going on. An important part of being cunning is being active and alert when it’s most important. Much of this a matter of fulfilling some of your basic biological needs - try, for example, to get a good night’s rest before important events and to rid yourself of distractions like hunger, restlessness from lack of exercise, etc.
If you’re running on fumes, you may want to use a moderate amount of caffeine in the form of coffee, tea, or an energy drink to perk yourself up. However, use caution - some people find it harder to focus on a caffeine high. Also, be sure to control your level of use, as becoming a caffeine addict will eventually rob your caffeine source of most of its alertness-boosting benefits.
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1-5. Take an objective point of view.
Cunning people try not to let their perception and decision-making be clouded by emotion or prejudice. Instead, they prefer objective, factual truths. It’s easy to tell yourself to take an objective point of view, but it’s a much harder matter to set about doing it. Try to detach yourself from, or, at the very least, control, your emotions when you're faced with difficult decisions. No one has ever made a better decision because he was angry.
1-6. Make note of others’ strengths and weaknesses.
This step is crucial. Cunning people better themselves by fooling, tricking, or otherwise deceiving other people. A given person is much easier for a cunning person to trick when his strengths and weaknesses are known, rather than unknown. Knowing a person’s weaknesses is especially useful - these can be used to sway a person into making rash decisions or doing things that benefit you. Similarly, a person’s strengths are to be avoided when possible - a cunning person won’t try to outfox someone in an area that he excels in.
Let’s use an example. Say that you’re trying to convince a reluctant friend to buy a ticket to a fundraiser you’re throwing. You know your friend is normally pretty stubborn, but you also know he’s got a tremendous sweet tooth and that he also likes to be thought of as a gracious guest. You might casually invite him over to hang out, making sure there’s a tray of warm cookies on the counter as he walks in. Let him eat as many as he wants, then ask him to buy a ticket. He’s just enjoyed your hospitality and he doesn’t want to appear rude, so he’s much more likely to agree.
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2. Building Your Intelligence
2-1. Practice, practice, practice.
If you were born perfectly cunning and ruthless, you may be a psychopath. Like any other skill, cunning is something that most people have to work at. Some people are naturally more cunning than others, while others are more gullible. Regardless of your starting point, know that you can always improve your ability to be cunning through practice.
Try to find low-stakes opportunities for practice so that you’re well-prepared when the time comes to be cunning in a serious situation. Performing good-natured pranks and practical jokes are a good way to build many of the skills you’ll need to be cunning without exposing yourself to much risk. For example, many pranks require you to act, lie, suppress your emotions, and ascertain others’ true motives if you want the prank to go off without a hitch.
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2-2. Never take anything at face value.
Cunning people are skeptics at heart. Never accept the information you’re supplied with or the impression someone gives you without thinking about it first. Constantly ask yourself whether the people you interact with seem genuine. Look for ways that these people may be distorting the truth or outright lying in order to advance their agenda.
Investigative journalists routinely cut through mountains of lies and pretense to get to the truth. If you’re looking to sharpen your skeptic’s eye, you probably don’t need to go to journalism school, but you may benefit from researching and watching how journalists coax facts from their subjects in one-on-one interviews.
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2-3. Consider all possible outcomes.
The great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was noted for his cunning wit, among many other things. He had a reputation for crafting clever, biting quips and one-liners out of thin air. In fact, because of a speech impediment, he actually crafted most of his witty responses beforehand by trying to consider every possible objection he might face. Take Churchill’s success to heart. Before important situations, take time to imagine every possible way the situation may play out and have your responses planned.
The worst case scenario with this approach is that things will turn out in a way you didn’t anticipate. However, in the rare occasion that this happens, you won’t be any worse off than if you hadn’t considered any outcomes at all.
2-4. Learn from your mistakes.
Even the most experienced swindlers get caught every once in a while. If you’re looking to become confident, you’re bound to make eventual mistakes. Your schemes will be uncovered, you’ll be embarrassed, and you may have to apologize. Use your failures as learning experiences. Make note of exactly when and how your plans went wrong, then try never to make that mistake again.
2-5. Know yourself.
The French theologian Pierre Charron once famously said, “the easiest way to be cheated is to believe yourself to be more cunning than others.” A cunning person should certainly be able to find others' strengths and weakness, but it's almost as important that she also be able to find her own. Give yourself a brutally frank evaluation. What are you good at? What are you bad at? What makes you nervous? When are you most confident? Be honest with yourself about your abilities. If you are, you'll know which of your strengths you should play to and which of your weaknesses you need to work on.
3. Deceiving Others
3-1. Perfect your poker face.
Just as cunning people need to be able to read others’ faces, they must be able to keep others from reading their own. Pulling a trick on someone can naturally make you feel excited or antsy. It’s important to make sure your face doesn’t betray this information. Obviously, try not to grin or giggle when you’re deceiving someone. Instead, relax. Take deep breaths. Picture yourself doing something calming that you love. Do anything you can to stay (externally) cool as a cucumber.
Appropriately, the actual game of poker is a great place to practice your poker face. In poker, if you want to win, you’ll need to keep your external façade completely calm when you have winning hands. You’ll also need to appear confident when you have awful hands. Practicing both of these skills will help you hone your cunning.
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3-2. Be confident
People are more likely to believe others who appear confident in their decision making. If you’re cunning, you should be ready to exploit this. Make your moves with firm confidence. Never second guess yourself. Try to view the trick you’re playing on someone as “no big deal” or as something you’ll be able to do perfectly without too much effort, even if this might not be 100% true. If you believe that you can do something, most other people will too, and you’ll be able to use this to deceive them.
Basic confidence-building tips include:
Pay attention to your physical appearance - dress well and groom yourself
Have friendly body language - stand up straight, smile, and look people in the eye
Feed your interests - pick hobbies you’re good at and excel at them
Be gracious - strive for politeness and friendliness, but never pretend to agree with someone just to appease him or her.
3-3. Learn to lie
Lies are the cunning person’s best friend. Good lies are plausible, or at least hard to disprove. Lying well requires a great deal of intelligence and emotional control - not only must the liar tell lies that make logical sense, but she must also sell them through her voice and body language and keep her lies straight after she’s made them. As with many of the skills a cunning person uses, lying can be improved with plenty of practice and smart planning.
Not only can a cunning person lie to other people - she can also lie to herself. This may seem minor, but it’s an important ability for a cunning person to have at her disposal, as it allows her to mentally convince herself that she’s confident, that she’s not likely to be caught, etc., which in turn makes her appear externally calm and relaxed.
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3-4. Set (metaphorical) traps.
An old saying describes cunning as “finding the path that your enemy has chosen, then digging holes along that path.” Though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever have to set real traps for anyone, take the metaphor to heart. By judging another's strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, you can ascertain the “path” they are on and sabotage it for your personal benefit. Look for ways to exploit your enemy’s weaknesses while rendering their strengths useless. Try to put your enemies in situations where they’re likely to mess up.
Let’s say you’re competing with a coworker you hate for a promotion. If, for instance, you know that this person is bad at giving presentations, you might try to volunteer to give an important joint presentation with him so that he’ll look bad in comparison to you.
3-5. Stay out of the spotlight.
A cunning person never draws more attention to himself than is necessary. If you’re deceiving someone, interact with the person just as much as you normally would - no more, no less - or you may creep your subject out or clue him in to the fact that something is out of the ordinary. When you see someone begin to fall for your plan, don’t push too hard or he may realize he’s been duped. Instead, give your mark just enough rope to hang himself, then simply stand back until it’s all over.
Though it can be tempting to gloat after you’ve successfully deceived someone, don’t. You gain nothing other than a momentary feeling of superiority and you risk starting a long-term grudge with the person you lord your victory over.
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3-6. Have an “out.”
Cunning people consider all the possible outcomes for their schemes - even the outcomes that aren’t favorable. Always account for the possibility that your sense of cunning, however sharp, may fail you. Have a backup plan in place if things don’t go according to plan. Know what you’ll do to recover from a failure ahead of time. Have a story worked out in your head that allows you to plausibly deny any wrongdoing.
Let’s say you’re sneaking around backstage at a concert without backstage passes when a security guard stops you and asks what you’re doing. To avoid trouble, you've planned beforehand to play dumb. Pretend that you’re lost and that you’re looking for the bathroom, or that your friend told you that the best place to watch the show was from back here. Pretend to be surprised at the news that you’ve broken a rule - you probably won’t get in any serious trouble if it seems like you stumbled backstage by accident.
Tips
Do lots and lots of brain exercise games.
Know how to recognize subtle clues through reading body language.
Try to act innocent.
Warnings
Never overdo it, or you could get in to trouble.
Recognize the downsides of becoming cunning. While there's nothing wrong with being clever, perceptive, and intelligent, being deceitful can hurt others and make them avoid you. If you find yourself becoming too manipulative and decide to live more honestly, there are steps you can take to stop manipulating others and rebuild their trust.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Perceptive\\n1-1. Always seek more information.\\nCunning people perceive things that others miss. They see life’s hidden machinery - the real motives that drive interactions, rather than the stated motives. The first, most important step to seeing things as they actually are is to always get as much information as possible before making your decisions. This can be as simple as taking the time to look around before dropping an anonymous love note into someone’s locker so that you don’t get spotted or as complex and involved as doing hours of research on the person you’re about to interview so that you can surprise him with particularly biting questions. When approaching all major decisions, keep your eyes peeled and have a voracious thirst for more information. You can never be too well-informed.\\nIn order to see the whole picture, first the speed has to slow down. You want to have a wide range of understanding about your circumstances or your surroundings before acting. Usually, the people who are not very perceptive are the one who cannot have perspective on both sides, and they sometimes tend to get into this bias, protective bias.\\n1-2. Question others’ motives.\\nCunning people are renowned for their ability to see through others’ facades. Almost everyone tells white lies on a daily basis - it’s perfectly natural. A cunning person sees a person’s true intentions - he does this because he’s able to “read” people and also because he’s done his homework (see above.) Never assume someone’s telling you the truth until you have supporting evidence. However, it's also not wise to instantly assume everyone is lying. Use the information available to you to make your best guess at someone’s true motivation.\\nTry to build your ability to read others’ faces. Most people are good liars, but not great ones. With practice, you may find that you’re able to notice when the emotion on a person’s face doesn’t match with what he or she is saying.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/81\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/81\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-3. Look for small details.\\nCunning people never balk at the prospect of closely scrutinizing people and things for small details that may be manipulated for their benefit. Try to be a stickler for details, within reason. For instance, read every line of your contract rather than glossing over the entire thing. If you pay attention to life’s details, you’ll find yourself better-equipped to exploit opportunities when they present themselves.\\nPaying attention to details isn’t only useful for grim, serious purposes. If you’re in a prank war with friends, for example, pay attention to your surroundings when you enter your room - if you see any small detail that’s out of the ordinary, you have reason to be suspicious.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-4. Be alert.\\nA person can’t be cunning if she is too tired, unfocused, or distracted to notice what’s going on. An important part of being cunning is being active and alert when it’s most important. Much of this a matter of fulfilling some of your basic biological needs - try, for example, to get a good night’s rest before important events and to rid yourself of distractions like hunger, restlessness from lack of exercise, etc.\\nIf you’re running on fumes, you may want to use a moderate amount of caffeine in the form of coffee, tea, or an energy drink to perk yourself up. However, use caution - some people find it harder to focus on a caffeine high. Also, be sure to control your level of use, as becoming a caffeine addict will eventually rob your caffeine source of most of its alertness-boosting benefits.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/68\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/68\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-5. Take an objective point of view.\\nCunning people try not to let their perception and decision-making be clouded by emotion or prejudice. Instead, they prefer objective, factual truths. It’s easy to tell yourself to take an objective point of view, but it’s a much harder matter to set about doing it. Try to detach yourself from, or, at the very least, control, your emotions when you're faced with difficult decisions. No one has ever made a better decision because he was angry.\\n1-6. Make note of others’ strengths and weaknesses.\\nThis step is crucial. Cunning people better themselves by fooling, tricking, or otherwise deceiving other people. A given person is much easier for a cunning person to trick when his strengths and weaknesses are known, rather than unknown. Knowing a person’s weaknesses is especially useful - these can be used to sway a person into making rash decisions or doing things that benefit you. Similarly, a person’s strengths are to be avoided when possible - a cunning person won’t try to outfox someone in an area that he excels in.\\nLet’s use an example. Say that you’re trying to convince a reluctant friend to buy a ticket to a fundraiser you’re throwing. You know your friend is normally pretty stubborn, but you also know he’s got a tremendous sweet tooth and that he also likes to be thought of as a gracious guest. You might casually invite him over to hang out, making sure there’s a tray of warm cookies on the counter as he walks in. Let him eat as many as he wants, then ask him to buy a ticket. He’s just enjoyed your hospitality and he doesn’t want to appear rude, so he’s much more likely to agree.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/69\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/69\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n2. Building Your Intelligence\\n2-1. Practice, practice, practice.\\nIf you were born perfectly cunning and ruthless, you may be a psychopath. Like any other skill, cunning is something that most people have to work at. Some people are naturally more cunning than others, while others are more gullible. Regardless of your starting point, know that you can always improve your ability to be cunning through practice.\\nTry to find low-stakes opportunities for practice so that you’re well-prepared when the time comes to be cunning in a serious situation. Performing good-natured pranks and practical jokes are a good way to build many of the skills you’ll need to be cunning without exposing yourself to much risk. For example, many pranks require you to act, lie, suppress your emotions, and ascertain others’ true motives if you want the prank to go off without a hitch.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/f\\\\/fa\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/f\\\\/fa\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n2-2. Never take anything at face value.\\nCunning people are skeptics at heart. Never accept the information you’re supplied with or the impression someone gives you without thinking about it first. Constantly ask yourself whether the people you interact with seem genuine. Look for ways that these people may be distorting the truth or outright lying in order to advance their agenda.\\nInvestigative journalists routinely cut through mountains of lies and pretense to get to the truth. If you’re looking to sharpen your skeptic’s eye, you probably don’t need to go to journalism school, but you may benefit from researching and watching how journalists coax facts from their subjects in one-on-one interviews.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c1\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c1\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n2-3. Consider all possible outcomes.\\nThe great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was noted for his cunning wit, among many other things. He had a reputation for crafting clever, biting quips and one-liners out of thin air. In fact, because of a speech impediment, he actually crafted most of his witty responses beforehand by trying to consider every possible objection he might face. Take Churchill’s success to heart. Before important situations, take time to imagine every possible way the situation may play out and have your responses planned.\\nThe worst case scenario with this approach is that things will turn out in a way you didn’t anticipate. However, in the rare occasion that this happens, you won’t be any worse off than if you hadn’t considered any outcomes at all.\\n2-4. Learn from your mistakes.\\nEven the most experienced swindlers get caught every once in a while. If you’re looking to become confident, you’re bound to make eventual mistakes. Your schemes will be uncovered, you’ll be embarrassed, and you may have to apologize. Use your failures as learning experiences. Make note of exactly when and how your plans went wrong, then try never to make that mistake again.\\n2-5. Know yourself.\\nThe French theologian Pierre Charron once famously said, “the easiest way to be cheated is to believe yourself to be more cunning than others.” A cunning person should certainly be able to find others' strengths and weakness, but it's almost as important that she also be able to find her own. Give yourself a brutally frank evaluation. What are you good at? What are you bad at? What makes you nervous? When are you most confident? Be honest with yourself about your abilities. If you are, you'll know which of your strengths you should play to and which of your weaknesses you need to work on.\\n3. Deceiving Others\\n3-1. Perfect your poker face.\\nJust as cunning people need to be able to read others’ faces, they must be able to keep others from reading their own. Pulling a trick on someone can naturally make you feel excited or antsy. It’s important to make sure your face doesn’t betray this information. Obviously, try not to grin or giggle when you’re deceiving someone. Instead, relax. Take deep breaths. Picture yourself doing something calming that you love. Do anything you can to stay (externally) cool as a cucumber.\\nAppropriately, the actual game of poker is a great place to practice your poker face. In poker, if you want to win, you’ll need to keep your external façade completely calm when you have winning hands. You’ll also need to appear confident when you have awful hands. Practicing both of these skills will help you hone your cunning.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2c\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2c\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n3-2. Be confident\\nPeople are more likely to believe others who appear confident in their decision making. If you’re cunning, you should be ready to exploit this. Make your moves with firm confidence. Never second guess yourself. Try to view the trick you’re playing on someone as “no big deal” or as something you’ll be able to do perfectly without too much effort, even if this might not be 100% true. If you believe that you can do something, most other people will too, and you’ll be able to use this to deceive them.\\nBasic confidence-building tips include:\\nPay attention to your physical appearance - dress well and groom yourself\\nHave friendly body language - stand up straight, smile, and look people in the eye\\nFeed your interests - pick hobbies you’re good at and excel at them\\nBe gracious - strive for politeness and friendliness, but never pretend to agree with someone just to appease him or her.\\n3-3. Learn to lie\\nLies are the cunning person’s best friend. Good lies are plausible, or at least hard to disprove. Lying well requires a great deal of intelligence and emotional control - not only must the liar tell lies that make logical sense, but she must also sell them through her voice and body language and keep her lies straight after she’s made them. As with many of the skills a cunning person uses, lying can be improved with plenty of practice and smart planning.\\nNot only can a cunning person lie to other people - she can also lie to herself. This may seem minor, but it’s an important ability for a cunning person to have at her disposal, as it allows her to mentally convince herself that she’s confident, that she’s not likely to be caught, etc., which in turn makes her appear externally calm and relaxed.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/96\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/96\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n3-4. Set (metaphorical) traps.\\nAn old saying describes cunning as “finding the path that your enemy has chosen, then digging holes along that path.” Though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever have to set real traps for anyone, take the metaphor to heart. By judging another's strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, you can ascertain the “path” they are on and sabotage it for your personal benefit. Look for ways to exploit your enemy’s weaknesses while rendering their strengths useless. Try to put your enemies in situations where they’re likely to mess up.\\nLet’s say you’re competing with a coworker you hate for a promotion. If, for instance, you know that this person is bad at giving presentations, you might try to volunteer to give an important joint presentation with him so that he’ll look bad in comparison to you.\\n3-5. Stay out of the spotlight.\\nA cunning person never draws more attention to himself than is necessary. If you’re deceiving someone, interact with the person just as much as you normally would - no more, no less - or you may creep your subject out or clue him in to the fact that something is out of the ordinary. When you see someone begin to fall for your plan, don’t push too hard or he may realize he’s been duped. Instead, give your mark just enough rope to hang himself, then simply stand back until it’s all over.\\nThough it can be tempting to gloat after you’ve successfully deceived someone, don’t. You gain nothing other than a momentary feeling of superiority and you risk starting a long-term grudge with the person you lord your victory over.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/ad\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/ad\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n3-6. Have an “out.”\\nCunning people consider all the possible outcomes for their schemes - even the outcomes that aren’t favorable. Always account for the possibility that your sense of cunning, however sharp, may fail you. Have a backup plan in place if things don’t go according to plan. Know what you’ll do to recover from a failure ahead of time. Have a story worked out in your head that allows you to plausibly deny any wrongdoing.\\nLet’s say you’re sneaking around backstage at a concert without backstage passes when a security guard stops you and asks what you’re doing. To avoid trouble, you've planned beforehand to play dumb. Pretend that you’re lost and that you’re looking for the bathroom, or that your friend told you that the best place to watch the show was from back here. Pretend to be surprised at the news that you’ve broken a rule - you probably won’t get in any serious trouble if it seems like you stumbled backstage by accident.\\nTips\\nDo lots and lots of brain exercise games.\\nKnow how to recognize subtle clues through reading body language.\\nTry to act innocent.\\nWarnings\\nNever overdo it, or you could get in to trouble.\\nRecognize the downsides of becoming cunning. While there's nothing wrong with being clever, perceptive, and intelligent, being deceitful can hurt others and make them avoid you. If you find yourself becoming too manipulative and decide to live more honestly, there are steps you can take to stop manipulating others and rebuild their trust.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines “cunning” as an adjective meaning “getting what is wanted in a clever and often deceptive way.” A cunning person is willing to use subtlety, subterfuge, and trickery to manipulate others and get what she wants. She is able to perceive the intentions of others and use this information for personal betterment. Being cunning is a great way to ensure you manage the people and forces in your life so that you always end up on top. As your first act of cunning, read this article! See Step 1 below to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Perceptive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always seek more information.\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people perceive things that others miss. They see life’s hidden machinery - the real motives that drive interactions, rather than the stated motives. The first, most important step to seeing things as they actually are is to always get as much information as possible before making your decisions. This can be as simple as taking the time to look around before dropping an anonymous love note into someone’s locker so that you don’t get spotted or as complex and involved as doing hours of research on the person you’re about to interview so that you can surprise him with particularly biting questions. When approaching all major decisions, keep your eyes peeled and have a voracious thirst for more information. You can never be too well-informed.\\nIn order to see the whole picture, first the speed has to slow down. You want to have a wide range of understanding about your circumstances or your surroundings before acting. Usually, the people who are not very perceptive are the one who cannot have perspective on both sides, and they sometimes tend to get into this bias, protective bias.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Question others’ motives.\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people are renowned for their ability to see through others’ facades. Almost everyone tells white lies on a daily basis - it’s perfectly natural. A cunning person sees a person’s true intentions - he does this because he’s able to “read” people and also because he’s done his homework (see above.) Never assume someone’s telling you the truth until you have supporting evidence. However, it's also not wise to instantly assume everyone is lying. Use the information available to you to make your best guess at someone’s true motivation.\\nTry to build your ability to read others’ faces. Most people are good liars, but not great ones. With practice, you may find that you’re able to notice when the emotion on a person’s face doesn’t match with what he or she is saying.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/81\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/81\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for small details.\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people never balk at the prospect of closely scrutinizing people and things for small details that may be manipulated for their benefit. Try to be a stickler for details, within reason. For instance, read every line of your contract rather than glossing over the entire thing. If you pay attention to life’s details, you’ll find yourself better-equipped to exploit opportunities when they present themselves.\\nPaying attention to details isn’t only useful for grim, serious purposes. If you’re in a prank war with friends, for example, pay attention to your surroundings when you enter your room - if you see any small detail that’s out of the ordinary, you have reason to be suspicious.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be alert.\", \"描述\": \"A person can’t be cunning if she is too tired, unfocused, or distracted to notice what’s going on. An important part of being cunning is being active and alert when it’s most important. Much of this a matter of fulfilling some of your basic biological needs - try, for example, to get a good night’s rest before important events and to rid yourself of distractions like hunger, restlessness from lack of exercise, etc.\\nIf you’re running on fumes, you may want to use a moderate amount of caffeine in the form of coffee, tea, or an energy drink to perk yourself up. However, use caution - some people find it harder to focus on a caffeine high. Also, be sure to control your level of use, as becoming a caffeine addict will eventually rob your caffeine source of most of its alertness-boosting benefits.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/68\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/68\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-4Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take an objective point of view.\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people try not to let their perception and decision-making be clouded by emotion or prejudice. Instead, they prefer objective, factual truths. It’s easy to tell yourself to take an objective point of view, but it’s a much harder matter to set about doing it. Try to detach yourself from, or, at the very least, control, your emotions when you're faced with difficult decisions. No one has ever made a better decision because he was angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make note of others’ strengths and weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"This step is crucial. Cunning people better themselves by fooling, tricking, or otherwise deceiving other people. A given person is much easier for a cunning person to trick when his strengths and weaknesses are known, rather than unknown. Knowing a person’s weaknesses is especially useful - these can be used to sway a person into making rash decisions or doing things that benefit you. Similarly, a person’s strengths are to be avoided when possible - a cunning person won’t try to outfox someone in an area that he excels in.\\nLet’s use an example. Say that you’re trying to convince a reluctant friend to buy a ticket to a fundraiser you’re throwing. You know your friend is normally pretty stubborn, but you also know he’s got a tremendous sweet tooth and that he also likes to be thought of as a gracious guest. You might casually invite him over to hang out, making sure there’s a tray of warm cookies on the counter as he walks in. Let him eat as many as he wants, then ask him to buy a ticket. He’s just enjoyed your hospitality and he doesn’t want to appear rude, so he’s much more likely to agree.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/69\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/69\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-6Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Your Intelligence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice, practice, practice.\", \"描述\": \"If you were born perfectly cunning and ruthless, you may be a psychopath. Like any other skill, cunning is something that most people have to work at. Some people are naturally more cunning than others, while others are more gullible. Regardless of your starting point, know that you can always improve your ability to be cunning through practice.\\nTry to find low-stakes opportunities for practice so that you’re well-prepared when the time comes to be cunning in a serious situation. Performing good-natured pranks and practical jokes are a good way to build many of the skills you’ll need to be cunning without exposing yourself to much risk. For example, many pranks require you to act, lie, suppress your emotions, and ascertain others’ true motives if you want the prank to go off without a hitch.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/f\\\\/fa\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/f\\\\/fa\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-7Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Never take anything at face value.\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people are skeptics at heart. Never accept the information you’re supplied with or the impression someone gives you without thinking about it first. Constantly ask yourself whether the people you interact with seem genuine. Look for ways that these people may be distorting the truth or outright lying in order to advance their agenda.\\nInvestigative journalists routinely cut through mountains of lies and pretense to get to the truth. If you’re looking to sharpen your skeptic’s eye, you probably don’t need to go to journalism school, but you may benefit from researching and watching how journalists coax facts from their subjects in one-on-one interviews.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c1\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c1\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-8Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider all possible outcomes.\", \"描述\": \"The great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was noted for his cunning wit, among many other things. He had a reputation for crafting clever, biting quips and one-liners out of thin air. In fact, because of a speech impediment, he actually crafted most of his witty responses beforehand by trying to consider every possible objection he might face. Take Churchill’s success to heart. Before important situations, take time to imagine every possible way the situation may play out and have your responses planned.\\nThe worst case scenario with this approach is that things will turn out in a way you didn’t anticipate. However, in the rare occasion that this happens, you won’t be any worse off than if you hadn’t considered any outcomes at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn from your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Even the most experienced swindlers get caught every once in a while. If you’re looking to become confident, you’re bound to make eventual mistakes. Your schemes will be uncovered, you’ll be embarrassed, and you may have to apologize. Use your failures as learning experiences. Make note of exactly when and how your plans went wrong, then try never to make that mistake again.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The French theologian Pierre Charron once famously said, “the easiest way to be cheated is to believe yourself to be more cunning than others.” A cunning person should certainly be able to find others' strengths and weakness, but it's almost as important that she also be able to find her own. Give yourself a brutally frank evaluation. What are you good at? What are you bad at? What makes you nervous? When are you most confident? Be honest with yourself about your abilities. If you are, you'll know which of your strengths you should play to and which of your weaknesses you need to work on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deceiving Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perfect your poker face.\", \"描述\": \"Just as cunning people need to be able to read others’ faces, they must be able to keep others from reading their own. Pulling a trick on someone can naturally make you feel excited or antsy. It’s important to make sure your face doesn’t betray this information. Obviously, try not to grin or giggle when you’re deceiving someone. Instead, relax. Take deep breaths. Picture yourself doing something calming that you love. Do anything you can to stay (externally) cool as a cucumber.\\nAppropriately, the actual game of poker is a great place to practice your poker face. In poker, if you want to win, you’ll need to keep your external façade completely calm when you have winning hands. You’ll also need to appear confident when you have awful hands. Practicing both of these skills will help you hone your cunning.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2c\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2c\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-12Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"People are more likely to believe others who appear confident in their decision making. If you’re cunning, you should be ready to exploit this. Make your moves with firm confidence. Never second guess yourself. Try to view the trick you’re playing on someone as “no big deal” or as something you’ll be able to do perfectly without too much effort, even if this might not be 100% true. If you believe that you can do something, most other people will too, and you’ll be able to use this to deceive them.\\nBasic confidence-building tips include:\\nPay attention to your physical appearance - dress well and groom yourself\\nHave friendly body language - stand up straight, smile, and look people in the eye\\nFeed your interests - pick hobbies you’re good at and excel at them\\nBe gracious - strive for politeness and friendliness, but never pretend to agree with someone just to appease him or her.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to lie\", \"描述\": \"Lies are the cunning person’s best friend. Good lies are plausible, or at least hard to disprove. Lying well requires a great deal of intelligence and emotional control - not only must the liar tell lies that make logical sense, but she must also sell them through her voice and body language and keep her lies straight after she’s made them. As with many of the skills a cunning person uses, lying can be improved with plenty of practice and smart planning.\\nNot only can a cunning person lie to other people - she can also lie to herself. This may seem minor, but it’s an important ability for a cunning person to have at her disposal, as it allows her to mentally convince herself that she’s confident, that she’s not likely to be caught, etc., which in turn makes her appear externally calm and relaxed.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/96\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/96\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-14Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set (metaphorical) traps.\", \"描述\": \"An old saying describes cunning as “finding the path that your enemy has chosen, then digging holes along that path.” Though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever have to set real traps for anyone, take the metaphor to heart. By judging another's strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, you can ascertain the “path” they are on and sabotage it for your personal benefit. Look for ways to exploit your enemy’s weaknesses while rendering their strengths useless. Try to put your enemies in situations where they’re likely to mess up.\\nLet’s say you’re competing with a coworker you hate for a promotion. If, for instance, you know that this person is bad at giving presentations, you might try to volunteer to give an important joint presentation with him so that he’ll look bad in comparison to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay out of the spotlight.\", \"描述\": \"A cunning person never draws more attention to himself than is necessary. If you’re deceiving someone, interact with the person just as much as you normally would - no more, no less - or you may creep your subject out or clue him in to the fact that something is out of the ordinary. When you see someone begin to fall for your plan, don’t push too hard or he may realize he’s been duped. Instead, give your mark just enough rope to hang himself, then simply stand back until it’s all over.\\nThough it can be tempting to gloat after you’ve successfully deceived someone, don’t. You gain nothing other than a momentary feeling of superiority and you risk starting a long-term grudge with the person you lord your victory over.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/ad\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/ad\\\\/Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid3021566-v4-728px-Be-Cunning-Step-16Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have an “out.”\", \"描述\": \"Cunning people consider all the possible outcomes for their schemes - even the outcomes that aren’t favorable. Always account for the possibility that your sense of cunning, however sharp, may fail you. Have a backup plan in place if things don’t go according to plan. Know what you’ll do to recover from a failure ahead of time. Have a story worked out in your head that allows you to plausibly deny any wrongdoing.\\nLet’s say you’re sneaking around backstage at a concert without backstage passes when a security guard stops you and asks what you’re doing. To avoid trouble, you've planned beforehand to play dumb. Pretend that you’re lost and that you’re looking for the bathroom, or that your friend told you that the best place to watch the show was from back here. Pretend to be surprised at the news that you’ve broken a rule - you probably won’t get in any serious trouble if it seems like you stumbled backstage by accident.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do lots and lots of brain exercise games.\\n\", \"Know how to recognize subtle clues through reading body language.\\n\", \"Try to act innocent.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never overdo it, or you could get in to trouble.\\n\", \"Recognize the downsides of becoming cunning. While there's nothing wrong with being clever, perceptive, and intelligent, being deceitful can hurt others and make them avoid you. If you find yourself becoming too manipulative and decide to live more honestly, there are steps you can take to stop manipulating others and rebuild their trust.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,670 | How to Be Curious | 1. Following Your Interests
1-1. Read widely.
Choosing something you are already interested in makes it easy to start becoming more curious. Reading is one of the best ways to widen your knowledge base. There are books and articles written on every conceivable topic, from politics, to cooking, to gardening. Think about your interests, and choose one to start learning about. Grab a book and find out more.
For example, if you are curious about technology and how it has changed society, there will be a book for you. Try to read publications by various authors so that you are exposed to more than one viewpoint.
Browse the stacks. Head to your local library or bookstore. Spend some time wandering up and down the aisles, picking up anything that looks interesting.
Ask for recommendations. People who work in libraries and bookstores love to talk about books. Ask them to recommend something interesting that they've read recently.
Use social media. Ask your friends and families to tell you their favorite book. Make a list of the ones that sound appealing.
Read the news. There is a lot going on in the world every day. If you take a few minutes to browse some news sites each day, you are sure to come across something that interests you. You could also subscribe to a daily newspaper to get your information.
Enjoy fiction. Fictional tales can spark your curiosity just as much as non-fiction. For example, try reading a crime thriller. You'll be dying to find out how the cops solve the case. It will certainly cause you to start wondering about how the justice system works.
1-2. Make a plan.
Take a tip from Leonardo da Vinci, who was known for having an amazing array of interests. He famously had a "to-do" list that included things to draw, places to go, and people to talk to. Da Vinci had a plan. As you start becoming more curious, make a list of things you would like to do or learn. This will give you inspiration to be more curious about new things.
Traveling is a great way to build curiosity. When you go somewhere new, you will naturally want to learn about your new environment. You'll wonder about the foods people eat, where to go for fun, and what you can check out at the local museums. Make a list of places you want to go, and get started.
Keep an idea journal. Every time something sparks your interest or raises a question, jot it down. For example, maybe you see a man in your neighborhood walking his dog every day. If you wonder what dog breed would be right for you, this is a topic you can start looking into.
1-3. Start with the question.
Studies show that as adults we are too eager to get to the answer. That means that we spend most of our time as parents, managers, teachers focusing on finding a solution, and we forget to acknowledge the importance of the question. Take time to thoroughly consider and reflect on questions.
Questions are what foster the most curiosity. So the next time you are trying to figure out what to buy your partner for Christmas, start with a series of questions. What does he like? What sort of reaction are you hoping for? By consciously asking yourself questions, you will open up your mind to new possibilities and ideas.
1-4. Be mindful.
Being mindful means being more aware of your emotions and your surroundings. Try to become more conscious of curiosity. Make an effort to remind yourself to find something to spark your curiosity each day.
Scientists say that curiosity is a valid emotion, but one that is often overlooked. If you focus on it more frequently, you will find yourself automatically becoming more curious.
The next time you see a movie, challenge yourself to find something to investigate. If you are watching a movie about James Bond, try to learn something new about martinis. Become curious about cocktails.
1-5. Avoid routine.
A set routine is considered an active enemy of curiosity. Many people are creatures of habit. In order to stimulate curiosity, change things up a bit. Try to find a different way to do some of your daily tasks.
Take a different route to work. Whether you walk or drive, take a different path. Chances are you'll notice something new. Maybe you'll see a new Korean restaurant and you'll be curious about what kind of food they serve.
Doing something as simple as brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand can get your brain thinking differently.
2. Asking Questions
2-1. Question everything.
The number one thing you can do to become more curious is to ask questions. Try to avoid taking material for granted. For example, if someone tells you, "Immigration reform is important", don't just accept that as fact. Ask questions, and figure out why. Then form your own opinion.
If you are a student, you should ask questions about the material you learn in school. If your teacher says, "The Great Gatsby is the great American novel", don't be afraid to say, "Why? What makes it great?".
Ask follow-up questions. Don't accept simple answers. If your landlord raises your rent, ask why. Make sure to get specifics. You'll learn more and be more informed.
2-2. Funnel your questions.
You can ask questions in one of two ways: begin with a broad question, and then ask gradually more specific follow-up questions. Or, do the opposite; begin with a narrow scope and gradually widen your focus. Both ways are known as "funneling" questions, and are great ways to spark new ideas and learn more about the topic.
Imagine you are curious about women's rights. You could begin with a broad question, such as "When did people start thinking about equality between the sexes?" Then you could gradually get more focused, and ask something such as, "What was life like for women in Oklahoma during the 1980s?"
To funnel the opposite way, you could reverse the order of those questions. Funneling is useful because it can help you brainstorm new questions to ask.
2-3. Keep going.
Once you have a good question, figure out how to further break it down. Use your original question as a starting point, and then branch out. Thinking of new questions will encourage your creativity, because you'll be coming up with new angles from which to consider the topic.
For example, you could start by asking, "Why do Americans vote along party lines?" Keep going by asking, "Does religion influence voting?" Then you could continue with, "To what extent does morality influence voting?" Each question can lead to another. The more questions you ask, the more things you will find to be curious about.
2-4. Be humble.
One of the most important lessons to learn is that there is no shame in not knowing something. The only way to learn is by asking questions and gathering information. Don't ever be afraid to be humble and admit that you don't know something.
At work, your boss might ask a question that you don't know the answer to. Instead of trying to pretend that you are knowledgeable, say, "I don't know. But let me brainstorm some ways to figure out a solution." Then let your curiosity guide you as you explore new ideas.
3. Knowing the Benefits of Curiosity
3-1. Strengthen your relationships.
Obviously, you are going to learn a lot of new information with by expanding your curiosity, and that's great. But there are several other benefits to being a more curious person. Research shows that people who are actively curious often have stronger personal relationships.
People who are curious tend to have better conversations. You will naturally ask more questions and be more engaged when you are speaking to others.
When you ask a lot of questions, your friends and family members will appreciate the fact that you are interested about their lives. Even a simple curious question such as, "How did that big project at work turn out?" can let someone know that you care.
3-2. Improve your memory.
Being curious can help you retain information. If you are interested in a topic, you are more likely to dig deeper into it. When you are invested in finding the answer, you will be much more likely to remember that information in the future.
Studies show that when a brain is actively curious it acts like a vortex. This means that it pulls in as much information as possible, and retains it.
3-3. Improve your health.
Being curious literally improves the health of your brain. Curiosity causes your brain to act as a muscle. The more you learn and engage that muscle, the stronger it grows. This can improve all around brain function.
People who are more curious are generally happier. Asking questions and learning new things causes your mood to be elevated.
Being happier can cause positive benefits for your physical health. Happier people typically have lower blood pressure and a decreased risk for strokes and heart attacks.
Tips
Make sure to be polite when you are asking personal questions.
Use a variety of resources to answer your questions. Read, talk to people, watch TV and movies.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Following Your Interests\\n1-1. Read widely.\\nChoosing something you are already interested in makes it easy to start becoming more curious. Reading is one of the best ways to widen your knowledge base. There are books and articles written on every conceivable topic, from politics, to cooking, to gardening. Think about your interests, and choose one to start learning about. Grab a book and find out more.\\nFor example, if you are curious about technology and how it has changed society, there will be a book for you. Try to read publications by various authors so that you are exposed to more than one viewpoint.\\nBrowse the stacks. Head to your local library or bookstore. Spend some time wandering up and down the aisles, picking up anything that looks interesting.\\nAsk for recommendations. People who work in libraries and bookstores love to talk about books. Ask them to recommend something interesting that they've read recently.\\nUse social media. Ask your friends and families to tell you their favorite book. Make a list of the ones that sound appealing.\\nRead the news. There is a lot going on in the world every day. If you take a few minutes to browse some news sites each day, you are sure to come across something that interests you. You could also subscribe to a daily newspaper to get your information.\\nEnjoy fiction. Fictional tales can spark your curiosity just as much as non-fiction. For example, try reading a crime thriller. You'll be dying to find out how the cops solve the case. It will certainly cause you to start wondering about how the justice system works.\\n1-2. Make a plan.\\nTake a tip from Leonardo da Vinci, who was known for having an amazing array of interests. He famously had a \\\"to-do\\\" list that included things to draw, places to go, and people to talk to. Da Vinci had a plan. As you start becoming more curious, make a list of things you would like to do or learn. This will give you inspiration to be more curious about new things.\\nTraveling is a great way to build curiosity. When you go somewhere new, you will naturally want to learn about your new environment. You'll wonder about the foods people eat, where to go for fun, and what you can check out at the local museums. Make a list of places you want to go, and get started.\\nKeep an idea journal. Every time something sparks your interest or raises a question, jot it down. For example, maybe you see a man in your neighborhood walking his dog every day. If you wonder what dog breed would be right for you, this is a topic you can start looking into.\\n1-3. Start with the question.\\nStudies show that as adults we are too eager to get to the answer. That means that we spend most of our time as parents, managers, teachers focusing on finding a solution, and we forget to acknowledge the importance of the question. Take time to thoroughly consider and reflect on questions.\\nQuestions are what foster the most curiosity. So the next time you are trying to figure out what to buy your partner for Christmas, start with a series of questions. What does he like? What sort of reaction are you hoping for? By consciously asking yourself questions, you will open up your mind to new possibilities and ideas.\\n1-4. Be mindful.\\nBeing mindful means being more aware of your emotions and your surroundings. Try to become more conscious of curiosity. Make an effort to remind yourself to find something to spark your curiosity each day.\\nScientists say that curiosity is a valid emotion, but one that is often overlooked. If you focus on it more frequently, you will find yourself automatically becoming more curious.\\nThe next time you see a movie, challenge yourself to find something to investigate. If you are watching a movie about James Bond, try to learn something new about martinis. Become curious about cocktails.\\n1-5. Avoid routine.\\nA set routine is considered an active enemy of curiosity. Many people are creatures of habit. In order to stimulate curiosity, change things up a bit. Try to find a different way to do some of your daily tasks.\\nTake a different route to work. Whether you walk or drive, take a different path. Chances are you'll notice something new. Maybe you'll see a new Korean restaurant and you'll be curious about what kind of food they serve.\\nDoing something as simple as brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand can get your brain thinking differently.\\n2. Asking Questions\\n2-1. Question everything.\\nThe number one thing you can do to become more curious is to ask questions. Try to avoid taking material for granted. For example, if someone tells you, \\\"Immigration reform is important\\\", don't just accept that as fact. Ask questions, and figure out why. Then form your own opinion.\\nIf you are a student, you should ask questions about the material you learn in school. If your teacher says, \\\"The Great Gatsby is the great American novel\\\", don't be afraid to say, \\\"Why? What makes it great?\\\".\\nAsk follow-up questions. Don't accept simple answers. If your landlord raises your rent, ask why. Make sure to get specifics. You'll learn more and be more informed.\\n2-2. Funnel your questions.\\nYou can ask questions in one of two ways: begin with a broad question, and then ask gradually more specific follow-up questions. Or, do the opposite; begin with a narrow scope and gradually widen your focus. Both ways are known as \\\"funneling\\\" questions, and are great ways to spark new ideas and learn more about the topic.\\nImagine you are curious about women's rights. You could begin with a broad question, such as \\\"When did people start thinking about equality between the sexes?\\\" Then you could gradually get more focused, and ask something such as, \\\"What was life like for women in Oklahoma during the 1980s?\\\"\\nTo funnel the opposite way, you could reverse the order of those questions. Funneling is useful because it can help you brainstorm new questions to ask.\\n2-3. Keep going.\\nOnce you have a good question, figure out how to further break it down. Use your original question as a starting point, and then branch out. Thinking of new questions will encourage your creativity, because you'll be coming up with new angles from which to consider the topic.\\nFor example, you could start by asking, \\\"Why do Americans vote along party lines?\\\" Keep going by asking, \\\"Does religion influence voting?\\\" Then you could continue with, \\\"To what extent does morality influence voting?\\\" Each question can lead to another. The more questions you ask, the more things you will find to be curious about.\\n2-4. Be humble.\\nOne of the most important lessons to learn is that there is no shame in not knowing something. The only way to learn is by asking questions and gathering information. Don't ever be afraid to be humble and admit that you don't know something.\\nAt work, your boss might ask a question that you don't know the answer to. Instead of trying to pretend that you are knowledgeable, say, \\\"I don't know. But let me brainstorm some ways to figure out a solution.\\\" Then let your curiosity guide you as you explore new ideas.\\n3. Knowing the Benefits of Curiosity\\n3-1. Strengthen your relationships.\\nObviously, you are going to learn a lot of new information with by expanding your curiosity, and that's great. But there are several other benefits to being a more curious person. Research shows that people who are actively curious often have stronger personal relationships.\\nPeople who are curious tend to have better conversations. You will naturally ask more questions and be more engaged when you are speaking to others.\\nWhen you ask a lot of questions, your friends and family members will appreciate the fact that you are interested about their lives. Even a simple curious question such as, \\\"How did that big project at work turn out?\\\" can let someone know that you care.\\n3-2. Improve your memory.\\nBeing curious can help you retain information. If you are interested in a topic, you are more likely to dig deeper into it. When you are invested in finding the answer, you will be much more likely to remember that information in the future.\\nStudies show that when a brain is actively curious it acts like a vortex. This means that it pulls in as much information as possible, and retains it.\\n3-3. Improve your health.\\nBeing curious literally improves the health of your brain. Curiosity causes your brain to act as a muscle. The more you learn and engage that muscle, the stronger it grows. This can improve all around brain function.\\nPeople who are more curious are generally happier. Asking questions and learning new things causes your mood to be elevated.\\nBeing happier can cause positive benefits for your physical health. Happier people typically have lower blood pressure and a decreased risk for strokes and heart attacks.\\nTips\\nMake sure to be polite when you are asking personal questions.\\nUse a variety of resources to answer your questions. Read, talk to people, watch TV and movies.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Children are known for their curiosity. They are interested in the world around them, and are full of questions. Adults are often curious, too, but don't always feel comfortable expressing their curiosity. Being curious is an excellent way to expand your knowledge base. There are several steps you can take to become more curious.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Following Your Interests\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read widely.\", \"描述\": \"Choosing something you are already interested in makes it easy to start becoming more curious. Reading is one of the best ways to widen your knowledge base. There are books and articles written on every conceivable topic, from politics, to cooking, to gardening. Think about your interests, and choose one to start learning about. Grab a book and find out more.\\nFor example, if you are curious about technology and how it has changed society, there will be a book for you. Try to read publications by various authors so that you are exposed to more than one viewpoint.\\nBrowse the stacks. Head to your local library or bookstore. Spend some time wandering up and down the aisles, picking up anything that looks interesting.\\nAsk for recommendations. People who work in libraries and bookstores love to talk about books. Ask them to recommend something interesting that they've read recently.\\nUse social media. Ask your friends and families to tell you their favorite book. Make a list of the ones that sound appealing.\\nRead the news. There is a lot going on in the world every day. If you take a few minutes to browse some news sites each day, you are sure to come across something that interests you. You could also subscribe to a daily newspaper to get your information.\\nEnjoy fiction. Fictional tales can spark your curiosity just as much as non-fiction. For example, try reading a crime thriller. You'll be dying to find out how the cops solve the case. It will certainly cause you to start wondering about how the justice system works.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a plan.\", \"描述\": \"Take a tip from Leonardo da Vinci, who was known for having an amazing array of interests. He famously had a \\\"to-do\\\" list that included things to draw, places to go, and people to talk to. Da Vinci had a plan. As you start becoming more curious, make a list of things you would like to do or learn. This will give you inspiration to be more curious about new things.\\nTraveling is a great way to build curiosity. When you go somewhere new, you will naturally want to learn about your new environment. You'll wonder about the foods people eat, where to go for fun, and what you can check out at the local museums. Make a list of places you want to go, and get started.\\nKeep an idea journal. Every time something sparks your interest or raises a question, jot it down. For example, maybe you see a man in your neighborhood walking his dog every day. If you wonder what dog breed would be right for you, this is a topic you can start looking into.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start with the question.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that as adults we are too eager to get to the answer. That means that we spend most of our time as parents, managers, teachers focusing on finding a solution, and we forget to acknowledge the importance of the question. Take time to thoroughly consider and reflect on questions.\\nQuestions are what foster the most curiosity. So the next time you are trying to figure out what to buy your partner for Christmas, start with a series of questions. What does he like? What sort of reaction are you hoping for? By consciously asking yourself questions, you will open up your mind to new possibilities and ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be mindful.\", \"描述\": \"Being mindful means being more aware of your emotions and your surroundings. Try to become more conscious of curiosity. Make an effort to remind yourself to find something to spark your curiosity each day.\\nScientists say that curiosity is a valid emotion, but one that is often overlooked. If you focus on it more frequently, you will find yourself automatically becoming more curious.\\nThe next time you see a movie, challenge yourself to find something to investigate. If you are watching a movie about James Bond, try to learn something new about martinis. Become curious about cocktails.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid routine.\", \"描述\": \"A set routine is considered an active enemy of curiosity. Many people are creatures of habit. In order to stimulate curiosity, change things up a bit. Try to find a different way to do some of your daily tasks.\\nTake a different route to work. Whether you walk or drive, take a different path. Chances are you'll notice something new. Maybe you'll see a new Korean restaurant and you'll be curious about what kind of food they serve.\\nDoing something as simple as brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand can get your brain thinking differently.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Question everything.\", \"描述\": \"The number one thing you can do to become more curious is to ask questions. Try to avoid taking material for granted. For example, if someone tells you, \\\"Immigration reform is important\\\", don't just accept that as fact. Ask questions, and figure out why. Then form your own opinion.\\nIf you are a student, you should ask questions about the material you learn in school. If your teacher says, \\\"The Great Gatsby is the great American novel\\\", don't be afraid to say, \\\"Why? What makes it great?\\\".\\nAsk follow-up questions. Don't accept simple answers. If your landlord raises your rent, ask why. Make sure to get specifics. You'll learn more and be more informed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Funnel your questions.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask questions in one of two ways: begin with a broad question, and then ask gradually more specific follow-up questions. Or, do the opposite; begin with a narrow scope and gradually widen your focus. Both ways are known as \\\"funneling\\\" questions, and are great ways to spark new ideas and learn more about the topic.\\nImagine you are curious about women's rights. You could begin with a broad question, such as \\\"When did people start thinking about equality between the sexes?\\\" Then you could gradually get more focused, and ask something such as, \\\"What was life like for women in Oklahoma during the 1980s?\\\"\\nTo funnel the opposite way, you could reverse the order of those questions. Funneling is useful because it can help you brainstorm new questions to ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep going.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have a good question, figure out how to further break it down. Use your original question as a starting point, and then branch out. Thinking of new questions will encourage your creativity, because you'll be coming up with new angles from which to consider the topic.\\nFor example, you could start by asking, \\\"Why do Americans vote along party lines?\\\" Keep going by asking, \\\"Does religion influence voting?\\\" Then you could continue with, \\\"To what extent does morality influence voting?\\\" Each question can lead to another. The more questions you ask, the more things you will find to be curious about.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be humble.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important lessons to learn is that there is no shame in not knowing something. The only way to learn is by asking questions and gathering information. Don't ever be afraid to be humble and admit that you don't know something.\\nAt work, your boss might ask a question that you don't know the answer to. Instead of trying to pretend that you are knowledgeable, say, \\\"I don't know. But let me brainstorm some ways to figure out a solution.\\\" Then let your curiosity guide you as you explore new ideas.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing the Benefits of Curiosity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Obviously, you are going to learn a lot of new information with by expanding your curiosity, and that's great. But there are several other benefits to being a more curious person. Research shows that people who are actively curious often have stronger personal relationships.\\nPeople who are curious tend to have better conversations. You will naturally ask more questions and be more engaged when you are speaking to others.\\nWhen you ask a lot of questions, your friends and family members will appreciate the fact that you are interested about their lives. Even a simple curious question such as, \\\"How did that big project at work turn out?\\\" can let someone know that you care.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improve your memory.\", \"描述\": \"Being curious can help you retain information. If you are interested in a topic, you are more likely to dig deeper into it. When you are invested in finding the answer, you will be much more likely to remember that information in the future.\\nStudies show that when a brain is actively curious it acts like a vortex. This means that it pulls in as much information as possible, and retains it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improve your health.\", \"描述\": \"Being curious literally improves the health of your brain. Curiosity causes your brain to act as a muscle. The more you learn and engage that muscle, the stronger it grows. This can improve all around brain function.\\nPeople who are more curious are generally happier. Asking questions and learning new things causes your mood to be elevated.\\nBeing happier can cause positive benefits for your physical health. Happier people typically have lower blood pressure and a decreased risk for strokes and heart attacks.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure to be polite when you are asking personal questions.\\n\", \"Use a variety of resources to answer your questions. Read, talk to people, watch TV and movies.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,671 | How to Be Cute and Girly | 1. Wearing Feminine Clothing
1-1. Wear loose, flowy clothing.
To show off your graceful, feminine side, wear items that are loose and flowy such as dresses and skirts. This will add a delicate, romantic element to your look.
You could also wear tops with flowy sleeves such as blouses, tunics, or wrap tops.
1-2. Choose clothes in pinks and pastels.
Soft colors are traditionally more feminine, so clothes in pink and pastels such as mint and lavender will look extra cute and girly. Light colors like white and pale grey are also good options.
Try wearing a soft yellow dress made of a flowy material, such as chiffon. You could also jazz up basic jeans by wearing a loose white peasant blouse with sheer sleeves.
Look for patterns in these colors as well, such as florals and stripes. You could pair a pink and white striped top with some light-wash denim for a relaxed, cute look.
1-3. Wear clothes made of soft fabrics.
Delicate, soft textures like silk, chiffon, velvet, satin, cashmere and lace are classically feminine and perfect for feeling cute and girly. Find some key wardrobe pieces in these fabrics to update your closet.
For example, you could buy a velvet dress, a chiffon skirt, a silk shirt, and a cashmere sweater.
To add more girliness, look for loungewear in these fabrics, such as a lace-trimmed wrap or silk pajamas.
Many of these fabrics tend to be expensive, so if you’re on a budget, look for imitations like faux silk and velvet texture.
1-4. Keep up with current trends.
Follow magazines and fashion guru bloggers to stay up-to-date with trends in fashion and makeup. Draw inspiration from photos and advice on how to incorporate current trends into your wardrobe.
Read magazines such as Seventeen and Teen Vogue to keep up with celebrity fashion trends.
Follow fashion bloggers and YouTubers for practical fashion advice and inspiration.
For example, embroidery is popular. Many magazines and blogs recommend floral-embroidered jeans or heels.
2. Having a Good Hygiene and Beauty Regimen
2-1. Use a subtle, sweet fragrance.
Your scent will make a big impression, so choose a perfume or body lotion with a sweet scent, such as florals and those with fruity notes. Notes of jasmine, rose, and vanilla are also especially pretty and girly.
Your scent should be nice and subtle, so don’t use too much--one or two spritzes of perfume in the morning should be enough to last throughout the day.
2-2. Style your hair so that it looks loose and soft.
Use a curling iron and a little finishing spray to style your hair into loose waves, perfect curls, or a casual updo. For a more cutesy style, try no-heat styles like pigtails or braids.
To keep your hair soft, use a natural oil-based product such as an Argan oil heat protectant. Work a pea-sized amount of this product through the ends of your hair before you use heat tools.
For this look, avoid angular cuts, razor cuts, and using lots of product.
You can also add cute hair accessories, such as headbands and bows.
2-3. Have good basic hygiene.
Taking care of yourself and putting effort into your appearance is an important part of being cute and girly. Keep up good hygiene by showering every 1 or 2 days, brushing your teeth twice a day, and moisturizing daily.
You should also care for your nails--apply cuticle oil nightly, then shape and buff them as needed.
2-4. Follow a daily skincare routine.
To keep your skin clear and glowing, make sure to take care of it daily. Use a face wash and moisturizer at least once every day. Choose a moisturizer that will keep your face looking soft and smooth, and isn’t too greasy or heavy.
You should also apply sunscreen every day to protect your skin from damage.
2-5. Apply some natural, glowy makeup.
Being cute and girly is all about looking natural, healthy, and pretty. For an everyday look, use some light foundation to even out your skin tone. Add some pretty pink- or coral-hued blush and highlighter to get that healthy glow. Moisturize your lips with some balm and add a subtle pink lipstick.
Complete the look by making your eyes pop with some light eyeliner, brown or natural pink eyeshadow, and mascara.
For a more dramatic evening look, add shimmer to your eyes, cheeks, and collarbones.
If you’re not allowed to wear makeup, use a good moisturizer to keep your skin clear and smooth and apply some plain or tinted lip balm to make your lips soft.
3. Acting Cute and Girly
3-1. Smile often.
Smiling and laughing is an important part of being cute and girly. Having a great smile and using it often is a really magnetic quality. Think positively and focus on the good things in your life, and smiling often will come naturally.
When you smile, be sure to smile with your eyes as well as your mouth. This happens naturally with a genuine smile, so embrace that slight creasing around the eyes that tells people your smile is real.
3-2. Use gentle body language.
Having gentle, relaxed body language is traditionally feminine and suggests that you have a friendly and nice demeanor. To achieve this, use relaxed, easy hand gestures rather than sudden and tense movements. Keep your arms relaxed and loose at your sides.
Crossing your arms or tucking your hands into pockets often indicates tension or shyness.
3-3. Have good posture.
Standing tall with open, lifted posture is important to look and feel cute. Keep your shoulders back and relaxed--this emphasizes the natural S-shaped curve of the back and looks confident and feminine. When sitting, sit up straight and keep your shoulders back.
Standing up straight will also make you look slimmer and healthier.
3-4. Be friendly to the people around you.
Having a cute personality means being sweet, positive, and approachable to others. Try to be kind and friendly to everyone you meet. This will not only make you feel good--it will also be attractive to others.
People will remember how you make them feel, so if you’re kind and friendly, people will remember your nice, cute personality.
3-5. Stay true to yourself.
Remember to stay true to yourself when becoming cuter and more girly. You don’t have to follow stereotypes or traditions that you aren’t comfortable with. Make sure that you’re making changes for yourself, not to impress others. Embracing your cute, girly side should never feel restrictive, but rather fun and freeing.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wearing Feminine Clothing\\n1-1. Wear loose, flowy clothing.\\nTo show off your graceful, feminine side, wear items that are loose and flowy such as dresses and skirts. This will add a delicate, romantic element to your look.\\nYou could also wear tops with flowy sleeves such as blouses, tunics, or wrap tops.\\n1-2. Choose clothes in pinks and pastels.\\nSoft colors are traditionally more feminine, so clothes in pink and pastels such as mint and lavender will look extra cute and girly. Light colors like white and pale grey are also good options.\\nTry wearing a soft yellow dress made of a flowy material, such as chiffon. You could also jazz up basic jeans by wearing a loose white peasant blouse with sheer sleeves.\\nLook for patterns in these colors as well, such as florals and stripes. You could pair a pink and white striped top with some light-wash denim for a relaxed, cute look.\\n1-3. Wear clothes made of soft fabrics.\\nDelicate, soft textures like silk, chiffon, velvet, satin, cashmere and lace are classically feminine and perfect for feeling cute and girly. Find some key wardrobe pieces in these fabrics to update your closet.\\nFor example, you could buy a velvet dress, a chiffon skirt, a silk shirt, and a cashmere sweater.\\nTo add more girliness, look for loungewear in these fabrics, such as a lace-trimmed wrap or silk pajamas.\\nMany of these fabrics tend to be expensive, so if you’re on a budget, look for imitations like faux silk and velvet texture.\\n1-4. Keep up with current trends.\\nFollow magazines and fashion guru bloggers to stay up-to-date with trends in fashion and makeup. Draw inspiration from photos and advice on how to incorporate current trends into your wardrobe.\\nRead magazines such as Seventeen and Teen Vogue to keep up with celebrity fashion trends.\\nFollow fashion bloggers and YouTubers for practical fashion advice and inspiration.\\nFor example, embroidery is popular. Many magazines and blogs recommend floral-embroidered jeans or heels.\\n2. Having a Good Hygiene and Beauty Regimen\\n2-1. Use a subtle, sweet fragrance.\\nYour scent will make a big impression, so choose a perfume or body lotion with a sweet scent, such as florals and those with fruity notes. Notes of jasmine, rose, and vanilla are also especially pretty and girly.\\nYour scent should be nice and subtle, so don’t use too much--one or two spritzes of perfume in the morning should be enough to last throughout the day.\\n2-2. Style your hair so that it looks loose and soft.\\nUse a curling iron and a little finishing spray to style your hair into loose waves, perfect curls, or a casual updo. For a more cutesy style, try no-heat styles like pigtails or braids.\\nTo keep your hair soft, use a natural oil-based product such as an Argan oil heat protectant. Work a pea-sized amount of this product through the ends of your hair before you use heat tools.\\nFor this look, avoid angular cuts, razor cuts, and using lots of product.\\nYou can also add cute hair accessories, such as headbands and bows.\\n2-3. Have good basic hygiene.\\nTaking care of yourself and putting effort into your appearance is an important part of being cute and girly. Keep up good hygiene by showering every 1 or 2 days, brushing your teeth twice a day, and moisturizing daily.\\nYou should also care for your nails--apply cuticle oil nightly, then shape and buff them as needed.\\n2-4. Follow a daily skincare routine.\\nTo keep your skin clear and glowing, make sure to take care of it daily. Use a face wash and moisturizer at least once every day. Choose a moisturizer that will keep your face looking soft and smooth, and isn’t too greasy or heavy.\\nYou should also apply sunscreen every day to protect your skin from damage.\\n2-5. Apply some natural, glowy makeup.\\nBeing cute and girly is all about looking natural, healthy, and pretty. For an everyday look, use some light foundation to even out your skin tone. Add some pretty pink- or coral-hued blush and highlighter to get that healthy glow. Moisturize your lips with some balm and add a subtle pink lipstick.\\nComplete the look by making your eyes pop with some light eyeliner, brown or natural pink eyeshadow, and mascara.\\nFor a more dramatic evening look, add shimmer to your eyes, cheeks, and collarbones.\\nIf you’re not allowed to wear makeup, use a good moisturizer to keep your skin clear and smooth and apply some plain or tinted lip balm to make your lips soft.\\n3. Acting Cute and Girly\\n3-1. Smile often.\\nSmiling and laughing is an important part of being cute and girly. Having a great smile and using it often is a really magnetic quality. Think positively and focus on the good things in your life, and smiling often will come naturally.\\nWhen you smile, be sure to smile with your eyes as well as your mouth. This happens naturally with a genuine smile, so embrace that slight creasing around the eyes that tells people your smile is real.\\n3-2. Use gentle body language.\\nHaving gentle, relaxed body language is traditionally feminine and suggests that you have a friendly and nice demeanor. To achieve this, use relaxed, easy hand gestures rather than sudden and tense movements. Keep your arms relaxed and loose at your sides.\\nCrossing your arms or tucking your hands into pockets often indicates tension or shyness.\\n3-3. Have good posture.\\nStanding tall with open, lifted posture is important to look and feel cute. Keep your shoulders back and relaxed--this emphasizes the natural S-shaped curve of the back and looks confident and feminine. When sitting, sit up straight and keep your shoulders back.\\nStanding up straight will also make you look slimmer and healthier.\\n3-4. Be friendly to the people around you.\\nHaving a cute personality means being sweet, positive, and approachable to others. Try to be kind and friendly to everyone you meet. This will not only make you feel good--it will also be attractive to others.\\nPeople will remember how you make them feel, so if you’re kind and friendly, people will remember your nice, cute personality.\\n3-5. Stay true to yourself.\\nRemember to stay true to yourself when becoming cuter and more girly. You don’t have to follow stereotypes or traditions that you aren’t comfortable with. Make sure that you’re making changes for yourself, not to impress others. Embracing your cute, girly side should never feel restrictive, but rather fun and freeing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being cute and girly can be a fun way to embrace your femininity and project a happy, attractive personality. Remember that you don’t have to follow traditional gender stereotypes or try to impress others to act cute and girly—be true to yourself while emphasizing your girly side. To be cuter and more girly, wear soft and flowy clothing, use a sweet fragrance, have good basic hygiene, wear natural makeup, smile often, and be friendly and kind.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wearing Feminine Clothing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear loose, flowy clothing.\", \"描述\": \"To show off your graceful, feminine side, wear items that are loose and flowy such as dresses and skirts. This will add a delicate, romantic element to your look.\\nYou could also wear tops with flowy sleeves such as blouses, tunics, or wrap tops.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose clothes in pinks and pastels.\", \"描述\": \"Soft colors are traditionally more feminine, so clothes in pink and pastels such as mint and lavender will look extra cute and girly. Light colors like white and pale grey are also good options.\\nTry wearing a soft yellow dress made of a flowy material, such as chiffon. You could also jazz up basic jeans by wearing a loose white peasant blouse with sheer sleeves.\\nLook for patterns in these colors as well, such as florals and stripes. You could pair a pink and white striped top with some light-wash denim for a relaxed, cute look.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes made of soft fabrics.\", \"描述\": \"Delicate, soft textures like silk, chiffon, velvet, satin, cashmere and lace are classically feminine and perfect for feeling cute and girly. Find some key wardrobe pieces in these fabrics to update your closet.\\nFor example, you could buy a velvet dress, a chiffon skirt, a silk shirt, and a cashmere sweater.\\nTo add more girliness, look for loungewear in these fabrics, such as a lace-trimmed wrap or silk pajamas.\\nMany of these fabrics tend to be expensive, so if you’re on a budget, look for imitations like faux silk and velvet texture.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep up with current trends.\", \"描述\": \"Follow magazines and fashion guru bloggers to stay up-to-date with trends in fashion and makeup. Draw inspiration from photos and advice on how to incorporate current trends into your wardrobe.\\nRead magazines such as Seventeen and Teen Vogue to keep up with celebrity fashion trends.\\nFollow fashion bloggers and YouTubers for practical fashion advice and inspiration.\\nFor example, embroidery is popular. Many magazines and blogs recommend floral-embroidered jeans or heels.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having a Good Hygiene and Beauty Regimen\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a subtle, sweet fragrance.\", \"描述\": \"Your scent will make a big impression, so choose a perfume or body lotion with a sweet scent, such as florals and those with fruity notes. Notes of jasmine, rose, and vanilla are also especially pretty and girly.\\nYour scent should be nice and subtle, so don’t use too much--one or two spritzes of perfume in the morning should be enough to last throughout the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Style your hair so that it looks loose and soft.\", \"描述\": \"Use a curling iron and a little finishing spray to style your hair into loose waves, perfect curls, or a casual updo. For a more cutesy style, try no-heat styles like pigtails or braids.\\nTo keep your hair soft, use a natural oil-based product such as an Argan oil heat protectant. Work a pea-sized amount of this product through the ends of your hair before you use heat tools.\\nFor this look, avoid angular cuts, razor cuts, and using lots of product.\\nYou can also add cute hair accessories, such as headbands and bows.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have good basic hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Taking care of yourself and putting effort into your appearance is an important part of being cute and girly. Keep up good hygiene by showering every 1 or 2 days, brushing your teeth twice a day, and moisturizing daily.\\nYou should also care for your nails--apply cuticle oil nightly, then shape and buff them as needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Follow a daily skincare routine.\", \"描述\": \"To keep your skin clear and glowing, make sure to take care of it daily. Use a face wash and moisturizer at least once every day. Choose a moisturizer that will keep your face looking soft and smooth, and isn’t too greasy or heavy.\\nYou should also apply sunscreen every day to protect your skin from damage.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apply some natural, glowy makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Being cute and girly is all about looking natural, healthy, and pretty. For an everyday look, use some light foundation to even out your skin tone. Add some pretty pink- or coral-hued blush and highlighter to get that healthy glow. Moisturize your lips with some balm and add a subtle pink lipstick.\\nComplete the look by making your eyes pop with some light eyeliner, brown or natural pink eyeshadow, and mascara.\\nFor a more dramatic evening look, add shimmer to your eyes, cheeks, and collarbones.\\nIf you’re not allowed to wear makeup, use a good moisturizer to keep your skin clear and smooth and apply some plain or tinted lip balm to make your lips soft.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting Cute and Girly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile often.\", \"描述\": \"Smiling and laughing is an important part of being cute and girly. Having a great smile and using it often is a really magnetic quality. Think positively and focus on the good things in your life, and smiling often will come naturally.\\nWhen you smile, be sure to smile with your eyes as well as your mouth. This happens naturally with a genuine smile, so embrace that slight creasing around the eyes that tells people your smile is real.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use gentle body language.\", \"描述\": \"Having gentle, relaxed body language is traditionally feminine and suggests that you have a friendly and nice demeanor. To achieve this, use relaxed, easy hand gestures rather than sudden and tense movements. Keep your arms relaxed and loose at your sides.\\nCrossing your arms or tucking your hands into pockets often indicates tension or shyness.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Standing tall with open, lifted posture is important to look and feel cute. Keep your shoulders back and relaxed--this emphasizes the natural S-shaped curve of the back and looks confident and feminine. When sitting, sit up straight and keep your shoulders back.\\nStanding up straight will also make you look slimmer and healthier.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be friendly to the people around you.\", \"描述\": \"Having a cute personality means being sweet, positive, and approachable to others. Try to be kind and friendly to everyone you meet. This will not only make you feel good--it will also be attractive to others.\\nPeople will remember how you make them feel, so if you’re kind and friendly, people will remember your nice, cute personality.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to stay true to yourself when becoming cuter and more girly. You don’t have to follow stereotypes or traditions that you aren’t comfortable with. Make sure that you’re making changes for yourself, not to impress others. Embracing your cute, girly side should never feel restrictive, but rather fun and freeing.\"}]}]}}",
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3,672 | How to Be Cute at School (Girls) | 1. Choosing a Cute Outfit
1-1. Choose bright or pastel colors to wear.
Cute clothing tends to be associated with soft colors, not dark ones. Choose clothes with colorful or pastel tones, and stay away from dark colors such as black, gray, and brown.
Pastel blues, purples, and pinks are good options for cute colors.
Spend some time looking on Pinterest or fashion blogs for inspiration on how to create cute outfits.
1-2. Pick out tops that are flowy or loose.
Not only are these tops super comfortable, but they give off a very cute and laid-back vibe. Look for loose tops that have lace, ribbons, bows, or any other decorative add-on. Patterned or printed shirts are always a great option, just make sure the colors stay light!
1-3. Wear skirts and shorts that are pastel-colored or patterned.
Skirts are a great clothing option for looking cute. Choose skirts that are flowy and made of a comfortable fabric. Picking shorts that have flowers, stripes, or another pattern on them will show off your sense of style. Stick to colorful or pastel colors, and make sure your skirts and shorts are school-appropriate.
Be careful not to choose shorts or skirts that are too short, and stick to your school's dress code.
If you're not a fan of skirts, no problem! Look for pants or jeans that have patterns on them or are made of a unique fabric or color that you like. Embellished jeans are always a cute option, too.
1-4. Throw on a dress for the ultimate cute option.
The right dress will do wonders for making your outfit look cute. Choose a dress style that’s appropriate for school — short- or long-sleeved dresses are best, but if you’re allowed to wear spaghetti strap dresses, go for it! Pick out dresses in light colors, and look for special additions such as lace or pleats.
Some school dress codes will allow you to wear a spaghetti strap dress if you wear a sweater over your shoulders, so see if this is an option for you.
1-5. Opt for outerwear and shoes that have flair.
To take your outerwear to the next level of cute, find jackets that have their own style. Look for large buttons on jackets, outerwear made of a unique material, or coats that have floral or animal prints. When it comes to shoes, look for pretty colors, fabrics, and unique patterns as well.
Options for cute shoes include ballet flats, colorful or patterned sneakers, and stylish boots.
1-6. Add leggings to your outfit for added warmth.
When the weather gets cooler, your skirts and dresses aren’t going to keep you warm. Leggings these days come in tons of different colors, patterns, and styles. Choose leggings that are light in color, or even opt for tights that have a feminine touch.
1-7. Accessorize your outfit to add personality.
To make your outfit even better, add some jewelry or a hair accessory. Find some statement pieces that you love, such as a pair of silver heart earrings or a patterned headband. You don’t need to go crazy with the accessorizing, but adding one or two pieces can greatly improve your outfit.
If you wear glasses, find a pair that comes in a pretty color or unique design. You can do the same for sunglasses, too.
2. Doing Your Hair and Makeup
2-1. Braid your hair
Braiding your hair will not only look cute, but it’s also a great way to keep your hair out of your face. There are many different options, from a waterfall braid to a French braid, or even the traditional braid. Choose a style that works with your hair type and length.
2-2. Curl your hair
Curls are always cute, as they give your face a softened look. There are several ways you can curl your hair. By using things such as a curling iron, flat iron, or hair rollers, you’ll have curly hair in no time.
Some methods of curling your hair, such as using hair rollers or braids, should be started the night before. Plan ahead and make sure you have enough time to properly style your hair.
2-3. Pull your hair into a ponytail for a quick style.
For days when you want a quick hair fix that’s also stylish and cute, pull your hair into a ponytail. This could be a side ponytail, pigtails, a high ponytail — whichever style you think looks the cutest.
Add an accessory such as a colorful scrunchie or headband to your ponytail if you want.
2-4. Wear your hair naturally if it doesn't need styling.
If you happen to be one of those girls who rolls out of bed with naturally beautiful hair, then you’re ready to go! Either give it a quick brush or use a styling product to bring out volume and tame unruly hairs. Wearing your hair naturally gives you a soft, gorgeous look.
2-5. Use a hair accessory if you have short hair.
If your hair is on the shorter side or you don’t have a lot of time in the mornings, opt for a hair accessory. Headbands, scrunchies, clips, and so many other hair accessories are available in a variety of colors, patterns, and fabrics. Visit an accessory store, drug store, or big-box store near you to pick out a new hair accessory.
Most hair accessories cost less than $10, and they can be found online as well.
2-6. Apply your makeup minimally for a natural look.
Wearing makeup can be a great way to boost your self-confidence and cover up any imperfections you don’t want seen, but don’t overdo it. When it comes to looking cute while wearing makeup, less is more. Highlight your face using a blush, and pick out a natural or light shade of lip gloss. Swipe on a little bit of mascara if you have light eyelashes, but keep any eyeliner very minimal.
If you feel like you don’t need makeup, awesome! Only apply it if you want to.
Putting a thin line of eyeliner on each of your top eyelids will make your eyes stand out more, but avoid putting much, if any, on the bottom lid.
3. Perfecting Your Cute Personality
3-1. Be confident
Being cute isn’t just about your appearance, it’s about having self-confidence and feeling good in your own skin. Embrace all aspects of yourself and don’t spend time worrying about insecurities. If you think confident thoughts on the inside, that confidence will show through on the outside.
Doing things such as taking care of your personal hygiene, having great posture, and making eye contact with people when you talk to them will help bring out your confidence.
Think about activities you're good at or talents you might have. If these are things you love doing, take more time to pursue them — this will help increase your confidence as well.
3-2. Talk using feminine tones.
People don’t tend to associate “cute” with a loud, abrasive voice. You don’t need to whisper, but talk softly. Use tones that are warm and bubbly, without speaking too loudly.
3-3. Keep a positive outlook.
The happier and more positive that you are around others, the more they’re going to want to hang out with you. Spread your positive outlook to others by saying positive things and cheering people up when they’re feeling down. A cute girl is cute because her attitude radiates bubbliness, kindness, and acceptance of herself and others.
3-4. Smile as often as possible.
One of the best ways to radiate positive vibes is to show how happy you are with a smile. If people see you smiling, they’ll be much more likely to want to interact with you. Give a smile to people you pass in the halls, the peers that sit next to you in class, and to your teachers. A little happiness goes a long way.
3-5. Be yourself
If you’re spending all of your time trying to be something that you’re not, you aren’t going to be happy. Relax and just be yourself — don’t stress about your appearance or what people think of you. By being your own cute, authentic self, everyone around you will think you're cute as well.
Cute girls tend to observe more and talk less, so if you’re not super outspoken, that’s OK! Embrace your shyness and use it to your advantage — oftentimes, shy people are seen as coy or flirtatious, which can be very cute.
If you are outspoken, don’t feel like you need to suddenly convert to being shy. Keep being your outgoing self, but just try to listen to others as much as you talk.
3-6. Stick to your studies.
Don’t let being cute become your entire focus. A cute girl is intelligent and interested in learning more about the world, so don’t forget to focus on your schoolwork as well. Doing your homework and studying hard will make you a cute girl who is knowledgeable and mature.
Don’t pretend to be dumb or clueless because you think it’s cute. You should be able to show off how cute you are while also being yourself.
3-7. Be a friend to everyone.
Cute girls are nice to everyone that they talk to and are able to make others feel comfortable when they’re around. To do this, try to be friendly towards all of your classmates. Compliment someone on their shirt, say hello in the halls, or help out a classmate with their schoolwork. By being nice to everyone, your peers will see you as a cute, friendly person.
3-8. Be polite
This one is simple — the more polite and well-mannered you are, the cuter. Everyone likes someone who is polite and kind to them, so try to be friendly and courteous whenever you interact with someone, whether it’s a peer or a teacher.
Tips
If you wear a uniform to school, focus on the little things that will create a great outfit, such as your jewelry, headwear, shoes, etc.
The tactics you use for being cute at school shouldn't feel forced or fake. Stay true to who you are and focus on being kind and positive, and this will make you much cuter whether you're trying to be or not.
There's no one right way to be cute — what one person thinks is cute might be different from what someone else thinks is cute. Don't worry about trying to please or impress someone else.
Warnings
Make sure you follow your school's dress code guidelines, and stay away from clothing that exposes too much.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing a Cute Outfit\\n1-1. Choose bright or pastel colors to wear.\\nCute clothing tends to be associated with soft colors, not dark ones. Choose clothes with colorful or pastel tones, and stay away from dark colors such as black, gray, and brown.\\nPastel blues, purples, and pinks are good options for cute colors.\\nSpend some time looking on Pinterest or fashion blogs for inspiration on how to create cute outfits.\\n1-2. Pick out tops that are flowy or loose.\\nNot only are these tops super comfortable, but they give off a very cute and laid-back vibe. Look for loose tops that have lace, ribbons, bows, or any other decorative add-on. Patterned or printed shirts are always a great option, just make sure the colors stay light!\\n1-3. Wear skirts and shorts that are pastel-colored or patterned.\\nSkirts are a great clothing option for looking cute. Choose skirts that are flowy and made of a comfortable fabric. Picking shorts that have flowers, stripes, or another pattern on them will show off your sense of style. Stick to colorful or pastel colors, and make sure your skirts and shorts are school-appropriate.\\nBe careful not to choose shorts or skirts that are too short, and stick to your school's dress code.\\nIf you're not a fan of skirts, no problem! Look for pants or jeans that have patterns on them or are made of a unique fabric or color that you like. Embellished jeans are always a cute option, too.\\n1-4. Throw on a dress for the ultimate cute option.\\nThe right dress will do wonders for making your outfit look cute. Choose a dress style that’s appropriate for school — short- or long-sleeved dresses are best, but if you’re allowed to wear spaghetti strap dresses, go for it! Pick out dresses in light colors, and look for special additions such as lace or pleats.\\nSome school dress codes will allow you to wear a spaghetti strap dress if you wear a sweater over your shoulders, so see if this is an option for you.\\n1-5. Opt for outerwear and shoes that have flair.\\nTo take your outerwear to the next level of cute, find jackets that have their own style. Look for large buttons on jackets, outerwear made of a unique material, or coats that have floral or animal prints. When it comes to shoes, look for pretty colors, fabrics, and unique patterns as well.\\nOptions for cute shoes include ballet flats, colorful or patterned sneakers, and stylish boots.\\n1-6. Add leggings to your outfit for added warmth.\\nWhen the weather gets cooler, your skirts and dresses aren’t going to keep you warm. Leggings these days come in tons of different colors, patterns, and styles. Choose leggings that are light in color, or even opt for tights that have a feminine touch.\\n1-7. Accessorize your outfit to add personality.\\nTo make your outfit even better, add some jewelry or a hair accessory. Find some statement pieces that you love, such as a pair of silver heart earrings or a patterned headband. You don’t need to go crazy with the accessorizing, but adding one or two pieces can greatly improve your outfit.\\nIf you wear glasses, find a pair that comes in a pretty color or unique design. You can do the same for sunglasses, too.\\n2. Doing Your Hair and Makeup\\n2-1. Braid your hair\\nBraiding your hair will not only look cute, but it’s also a great way to keep your hair out of your face. There are many different options, from a waterfall braid to a French braid, or even the traditional braid. Choose a style that works with your hair type and length.\\n2-2. Curl your hair\\nCurls are always cute, as they give your face a softened look. There are several ways you can curl your hair. By using things such as a curling iron, flat iron, or hair rollers, you’ll have curly hair in no time.\\nSome methods of curling your hair, such as using hair rollers or braids, should be started the night before. Plan ahead and make sure you have enough time to properly style your hair.\\n2-3. Pull your hair into a ponytail for a quick style.\\nFor days when you want a quick hair fix that’s also stylish and cute, pull your hair into a ponytail. This could be a side ponytail, pigtails, a high ponytail — whichever style you think looks the cutest. \\nAdd an accessory such as a colorful scrunchie or headband to your ponytail if you want.\\n2-4. Wear your hair naturally if it doesn't need styling.\\nIf you happen to be one of those girls who rolls out of bed with naturally beautiful hair, then you’re ready to go! Either give it a quick brush or use a styling product to bring out volume and tame unruly hairs. Wearing your hair naturally gives you a soft, gorgeous look.\\n2-5. Use a hair accessory if you have short hair.\\nIf your hair is on the shorter side or you don’t have a lot of time in the mornings, opt for a hair accessory. Headbands, scrunchies, clips, and so many other hair accessories are available in a variety of colors, patterns, and fabrics. Visit an accessory store, drug store, or big-box store near you to pick out a new hair accessory.\\nMost hair accessories cost less than $10, and they can be found online as well.\\n2-6. Apply your makeup minimally for a natural look.\\nWearing makeup can be a great way to boost your self-confidence and cover up any imperfections you don’t want seen, but don’t overdo it. When it comes to looking cute while wearing makeup, less is more. Highlight your face using a blush, and pick out a natural or light shade of lip gloss. Swipe on a little bit of mascara if you have light eyelashes, but keep any eyeliner very minimal.\\nIf you feel like you don’t need makeup, awesome! Only apply it if you want to.\\nPutting a thin line of eyeliner on each of your top eyelids will make your eyes stand out more, but avoid putting much, if any, on the bottom lid.\\n3. Perfecting Your Cute Personality\\n3-1. Be confident\\nBeing cute isn’t just about your appearance, it’s about having self-confidence and feeling good in your own skin. Embrace all aspects of yourself and don’t spend time worrying about insecurities. If you think confident thoughts on the inside, that confidence will show through on the outside.\\nDoing things such as taking care of your personal hygiene, having great posture, and making eye contact with people when you talk to them will help bring out your confidence.\\nThink about activities you're good at or talents you might have. If these are things you love doing, take more time to pursue them — this will help increase your confidence as well.\\n3-2. Talk using feminine tones.\\nPeople don’t tend to associate “cute” with a loud, abrasive voice. You don’t need to whisper, but talk softly. Use tones that are warm and bubbly, without speaking too loudly.\\n3-3. Keep a positive outlook.\\nThe happier and more positive that you are around others, the more they’re going to want to hang out with you. Spread your positive outlook to others by saying positive things and cheering people up when they’re feeling down. A cute girl is cute because her attitude radiates bubbliness, kindness, and acceptance of herself and others.\\n3-4. Smile as often as possible.\\nOne of the best ways to radiate positive vibes is to show how happy you are with a smile. If people see you smiling, they’ll be much more likely to want to interact with you. Give a smile to people you pass in the halls, the peers that sit next to you in class, and to your teachers. A little happiness goes a long way.\\n3-5. Be yourself\\nIf you’re spending all of your time trying to be something that you’re not, you aren’t going to be happy. Relax and just be yourself — don’t stress about your appearance or what people think of you. By being your own cute, authentic self, everyone around you will think you're cute as well.\\nCute girls tend to observe more and talk less, so if you’re not super outspoken, that’s OK! Embrace your shyness and use it to your advantage — oftentimes, shy people are seen as coy or flirtatious, which can be very cute.\\nIf you are outspoken, don’t feel like you need to suddenly convert to being shy. Keep being your outgoing self, but just try to listen to others as much as you talk.\\n3-6. Stick to your studies.\\nDon’t let being cute become your entire focus. A cute girl is intelligent and interested in learning more about the world, so don’t forget to focus on your schoolwork as well. Doing your homework and studying hard will make you a cute girl who is knowledgeable and mature.\\nDon’t pretend to be dumb or clueless because you think it’s cute. You should be able to show off how cute you are while also being yourself.\\n3-7. Be a friend to everyone.\\nCute girls are nice to everyone that they talk to and are able to make others feel comfortable when they’re around. To do this, try to be friendly towards all of your classmates. Compliment someone on their shirt, say hello in the halls, or help out a classmate with their schoolwork. By being nice to everyone, your peers will see you as a cute, friendly person.\\n3-8. Be polite\\nThis one is simple — the more polite and well-mannered you are, the cuter. Everyone likes someone who is polite and kind to them, so try to be friendly and courteous whenever you interact with someone, whether it’s a peer or a teacher.\\nTips\\nIf you wear a uniform to school, focus on the little things that will create a great outfit, such as your jewelry, headwear, shoes, etc.\\nThe tactics you use for being cute at school shouldn't feel forced or fake. Stay true to who you are and focus on being kind and positive, and this will make you much cuter whether you're trying to be or not.\\nThere's no one right way to be cute — what one person thinks is cute might be different from what someone else thinks is cute. Don't worry about trying to please or impress someone else.\\nWarnings\\nMake sure you follow your school's dress code guidelines, and stay away from clothing that exposes too much.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While you're at school, it's important to be yourself while also focusing on your work. If you're a girl who feels that being cute is a key part of your own style and personality, then embrace it! But if trying to be cute becomes forced or unnatural to you, it's time to take a step back and just be yourself. There are many ways to bring out the cutest parts of yourself, and by doing things such as practicing good hygiene and smiling at everyone at school, others will be able to see just how cute you are as well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Cute Outfit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose bright or pastel colors to wear.\", \"描述\": \"Cute clothing tends to be associated with soft colors, not dark ones. Choose clothes with colorful or pastel tones, and stay away from dark colors such as black, gray, and brown.\\nPastel blues, purples, and pinks are good options for cute colors.\\nSpend some time looking on Pinterest or fashion blogs for inspiration on how to create cute outfits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick out tops that are flowy or loose.\", \"描述\": \"Not only are these tops super comfortable, but they give off a very cute and laid-back vibe. Look for loose tops that have lace, ribbons, bows, or any other decorative add-on. Patterned or printed shirts are always a great option, just make sure the colors stay light!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear skirts and shorts that are pastel-colored or patterned.\", \"描述\": \"Skirts are a great clothing option for looking cute. Choose skirts that are flowy and made of a comfortable fabric. Picking shorts that have flowers, stripes, or another pattern on them will show off your sense of style. Stick to colorful or pastel colors, and make sure your skirts and shorts are school-appropriate.\\nBe careful not to choose shorts or skirts that are too short, and stick to your school's dress code.\\nIf you're not a fan of skirts, no problem! Look for pants or jeans that have patterns on them or are made of a unique fabric or color that you like. Embellished jeans are always a cute option, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Throw on a dress for the ultimate cute option.\", \"描述\": \"The right dress will do wonders for making your outfit look cute. Choose a dress style that’s appropriate for school — short- or long-sleeved dresses are best, but if you’re allowed to wear spaghetti strap dresses, go for it! Pick out dresses in light colors, and look for special additions such as lace or pleats.\\nSome school dress codes will allow you to wear a spaghetti strap dress if you wear a sweater over your shoulders, so see if this is an option for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Opt for outerwear and shoes that have flair.\", \"描述\": \"To take your outerwear to the next level of cute, find jackets that have their own style. Look for large buttons on jackets, outerwear made of a unique material, or coats that have floral or animal prints. When it comes to shoes, look for pretty colors, fabrics, and unique patterns as well.\\nOptions for cute shoes include ballet flats, colorful or patterned sneakers, and stylish boots.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add leggings to your outfit for added warmth.\", \"描述\": \"When the weather gets cooler, your skirts and dresses aren’t going to keep you warm. Leggings these days come in tons of different colors, patterns, and styles. Choose leggings that are light in color, or even opt for tights that have a feminine touch.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accessorize your outfit to add personality.\", \"描述\": \"To make your outfit even better, add some jewelry or a hair accessory. Find some statement pieces that you love, such as a pair of silver heart earrings or a patterned headband. You don’t need to go crazy with the accessorizing, but adding one or two pieces can greatly improve your outfit.\\nIf you wear glasses, find a pair that comes in a pretty color or unique design. You can do the same for sunglasses, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing Your Hair and Makeup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Braid your hair\", \"描述\": \"Braiding your hair will not only look cute, but it’s also a great way to keep your hair out of your face. There are many different options, from a waterfall braid to a French braid, or even the traditional braid. Choose a style that works with your hair type and length.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Curl your hair\", \"描述\": \"Curls are always cute, as they give your face a softened look. There are several ways you can curl your hair. By using things such as a curling iron, flat iron, or hair rollers, you’ll have curly hair in no time.\\nSome methods of curling your hair, such as using hair rollers or braids, should be started the night before. Plan ahead and make sure you have enough time to properly style your hair.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pull your hair into a ponytail for a quick style.\", \"描述\": \"For days when you want a quick hair fix that’s also stylish and cute, pull your hair into a ponytail. This could be a side ponytail, pigtails, a high ponytail — whichever style you think looks the cutest. \\nAdd an accessory such as a colorful scrunchie or headband to your ponytail if you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear your hair naturally if it doesn't need styling.\", \"描述\": \"If you happen to be one of those girls who rolls out of bed with naturally beautiful hair, then you’re ready to go! Either give it a quick brush or use a styling product to bring out volume and tame unruly hairs. Wearing your hair naturally gives you a soft, gorgeous look.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use a hair accessory if you have short hair.\", \"描述\": \"If your hair is on the shorter side or you don’t have a lot of time in the mornings, opt for a hair accessory. Headbands, scrunchies, clips, and so many other hair accessories are available in a variety of colors, patterns, and fabrics. Visit an accessory store, drug store, or big-box store near you to pick out a new hair accessory.\\nMost hair accessories cost less than $10, and they can be found online as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Apply your makeup minimally for a natural look.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing makeup can be a great way to boost your self-confidence and cover up any imperfections you don’t want seen, but don’t overdo it. When it comes to looking cute while wearing makeup, less is more. Highlight your face using a blush, and pick out a natural or light shade of lip gloss. Swipe on a little bit of mascara if you have light eyelashes, but keep any eyeliner very minimal.\\nIf you feel like you don’t need makeup, awesome! Only apply it if you want to.\\nPutting a thin line of eyeliner on each of your top eyelids will make your eyes stand out more, but avoid putting much, if any, on the bottom lid.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perfecting Your Cute Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Being cute isn’t just about your appearance, it’s about having self-confidence and feeling good in your own skin. Embrace all aspects of yourself and don’t spend time worrying about insecurities. If you think confident thoughts on the inside, that confidence will show through on the outside.\\nDoing things such as taking care of your personal hygiene, having great posture, and making eye contact with people when you talk to them will help bring out your confidence.\\nThink about activities you're good at or talents you might have. If these are things you love doing, take more time to pursue them — this will help increase your confidence as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk using feminine tones.\", \"描述\": \"People don’t tend to associate “cute” with a loud, abrasive voice. You don’t need to whisper, but talk softly. Use tones that are warm and bubbly, without speaking too loudly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a positive outlook.\", \"描述\": \"The happier and more positive that you are around others, the more they’re going to want to hang out with you. Spread your positive outlook to others by saying positive things and cheering people up when they’re feeling down. A cute girl is cute because her attitude radiates bubbliness, kindness, and acceptance of herself and others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile as often as possible.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to radiate positive vibes is to show how happy you are with a smile. If people see you smiling, they’ll be much more likely to want to interact with you. Give a smile to people you pass in the halls, the peers that sit next to you in class, and to your teachers. A little happiness goes a long way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be yourself\", \"描述\": \"If you’re spending all of your time trying to be something that you’re not, you aren’t going to be happy. Relax and just be yourself — don’t stress about your appearance or what people think of you. By being your own cute, authentic self, everyone around you will think you're cute as well.\\nCute girls tend to observe more and talk less, so if you’re not super outspoken, that’s OK! Embrace your shyness and use it to your advantage — oftentimes, shy people are seen as coy or flirtatious, which can be very cute.\\nIf you are outspoken, don’t feel like you need to suddenly convert to being shy. Keep being your outgoing self, but just try to listen to others as much as you talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stick to your studies.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t let being cute become your entire focus. A cute girl is intelligent and interested in learning more about the world, so don’t forget to focus on your schoolwork as well. Doing your homework and studying hard will make you a cute girl who is knowledgeable and mature.\\nDon’t pretend to be dumb or clueless because you think it’s cute. You should be able to show off how cute you are while also being yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be a friend to everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Cute girls are nice to everyone that they talk to and are able to make others feel comfortable when they’re around. To do this, try to be friendly towards all of your classmates. Compliment someone on their shirt, say hello in the halls, or help out a classmate with their schoolwork. By being nice to everyone, your peers will see you as a cute, friendly person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be polite\", \"描述\": \"This one is simple — the more polite and well-mannered you are, the cuter. Everyone likes someone who is polite and kind to them, so try to be friendly and courteous whenever you interact with someone, whether it’s a peer or a teacher.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you wear a uniform to school, focus on the little things that will create a great outfit, such as your jewelry, headwear, shoes, etc.\\n\", \"The tactics you use for being cute at school shouldn't feel forced or fake. Stay true to who you are and focus on being kind and positive, and this will make you much cuter whether you're trying to be or not.\\n\", \"There's no one right way to be cute — what one person thinks is cute might be different from what someone else thinks is cute. Don't worry about trying to please or impress someone else.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Make sure you follow your school's dress code guidelines, and stay away from clothing that exposes too much.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,673 | How to Be Cute to Your Boyfriend over Text | 1. Send him a good morning message.
It will be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.
It’s always nice to wake up to a text from your boo! When you get out of bed, quickly text him a sweet good morning to make his day. Try something like:
“Good morning! I hope you have a great day.”
“Time to wake up! Can’t wait to see you later.”
“Good morning babe!”
2. Ask fun, interesting questions.
Keep your conversation moving by texting him a few questions.
You could ask him about your relationship, where he sees himself in the future, or just what he’s up to right now. The more questions you ask, the more fun your conversation will be. Try questions like:
“Do you have any hidden talents?”
“Would you ever go skydiving?”
“What’s your favorite memory of us so far?”
“What is your favorite movie of all time?”
3. Flirt with him.
Send a suggestive text message to get his engine going.
Just because you two aren’t together in person doesn’t mean you can’t flirt! Craft a fun, sexy message to send him, like:
“I had a dream about you last night. Wanna hear what it was about?”
“If we were stuck together on a deserted island, what’s the first thing you would do?”
“Thinking of you and how you kissed me last night. Wish you were here.”
4. Ask him to send the best photo he’s ever taken.
It could be of himself, his animals, nature—anything!
Request that he sends you an artistic picture so you can gush about how nice it looks. Follow up with the best picture you’ve ever taken so you can both compliment each other.
Propose it by saying something like, “What’s the best pic you have on your phone?”
5. Give him a compliment.
Point out his looks, his personality, or even his voice.
Send him a text giving him a compliment so he knows you can’t wait to see him again. If you aren’t sure what to say, think about what you like about him the most. Try something like:
“Your voice is my favorite sound.”
“You looked so good in that picture you posted earlier.”
“I feel so safe around you.”
6. Let him know you’re thinking about him.
If he pops into your head throughout the day, send him a text.
Maybe you remember something sweet he did, or maybe you’re laughing at a joke he told. You can make his day by telling him what you just thought of, like:
“I can’t stop thinking about how hard we laughed together last night. I had so much fun.”
“You keep running through my mind! Stop distracting me, I’m busy.”
7. Try a play on words.
These goofy phrases will make him laugh out loud.
If you want to send him something sweet but you aren’t sure what to say, try one of these lines. Add a few emojis in to really send a message!
“Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you!”
“I know you’re busy today, but please add me to your to-do list.”
8. Send him a silly pickup line.
You might make him chuckle when he reads what you’ve sent.
Pick the most over-the-top pickup line that you can think of to really get a giggle out of him. If you’re lucky, he’ll send one back! Try something like:
“Do you like raisins? How about a date?”
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
“I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.”
9. Tell him you can’t wait to see him.
Play up your excitement to let him know you miss him.
Even if you just saw him yesterday, send him a sweet text telling him how eager you are to see him again. It will convey the message that you like him a lot and enjoy his company. Say something like:
“Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! I always have so much fun when we hang out.”
“Counting down the days until I see you again. Miss you lots.”
10. Suggest some fun activities for your next hang.
It will show him that you’re excited to see him again.
Text him a few date ideas to see if he likes any of them. If he does, that’s your cue to get planning! Try something like:
“Want to come over to my house and Netflix and chill?”
“I’d love to take you to that new restaurant downtown.”
“What do you think about a date to the aquarium?”
11. Text him a sweet goodnight message.
Let him know he’s on your mind as you fall asleep.
Tell him you’re going to bed and assure him that you can’t wait to talk to him in the morning. Even if he’s already asleep, he’ll appreciate your sweet sentiment. Say something like:
“Goodnight, I’ll see you in my dreams.”
“Sleep tight, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
12. Send a photo of yourself.
Take a selfie or grab a shot of your surrounding landscape.
Send it to your boyfriend with a fun caption letting him know where you are and what you’re doing. It’s a nice way to update him on your daily life, and you might even get a cute selfie back!
If you aren’t feeling the selfie vibes, grab a cute pic of your animals or the view instead.
13. Send him a song that reminds you of him.
He’ll be delighted that you’re thinking of him when he’s not there.
Pull up your Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube account, and search for a song that makes you think of him. Send him a link along with a caption like, “This made me think of you.”
You could send a song that played on your first date, a song that you two danced to, or just one that really captures who he is as a person.
14. Use a few emojis.
It will keep your messages lighthearted and fun.
Throw in a few smiley faces or some heart emojis when you’re feeling it. Try to stick to 1 or 2 emojis per message so you don’t flood his phone with them!
You could also look for funny gifs or cute pictures to send instead.
15. Send him a funny meme.
Tell him that this made you laugh or think of him.
If you stumble across a funny meme that you like, text it to him so he can laugh too. You could also send it to him via Instagram or Twitter if it’s easier.
Bonus points if the meme references an inside joke or tv show that you both really like!
Tips
If you can’t see your boyfriend in person for a while, try to do a video chat for some face to face contact.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Send him a good morning message.\\nIt will be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.\\nIt’s always nice to wake up to a text from your boo! When you get out of bed, quickly text him a sweet good morning to make his day. Try something like:\\n“Good morning! I hope you have a great day.”\\n“Time to wake up! Can’t wait to see you later.”\\n“Good morning babe!”\\n2. Ask fun, interesting questions.\\nKeep your conversation moving by texting him a few questions.\\nYou could ask him about your relationship, where he sees himself in the future, or just what he’s up to right now. The more questions you ask, the more fun your conversation will be. Try questions like:\\n“Do you have any hidden talents?”\\n“Would you ever go skydiving?”\\n“What’s your favorite memory of us so far?”\\n“What is your favorite movie of all time?”\\n3. Flirt with him.\\nSend a suggestive text message to get his engine going.\\nJust because you two aren’t together in person doesn’t mean you can’t flirt! Craft a fun, sexy message to send him, like:\\n“I had a dream about you last night. Wanna hear what it was about?”\\n“If we were stuck together on a deserted island, what’s the first thing you would do?”\\n“Thinking of you and how you kissed me last night. Wish you were here.”\\n4. Ask him to send the best photo he’s ever taken.\\nIt could be of himself, his animals, nature—anything!\\nRequest that he sends you an artistic picture so you can gush about how nice it looks. Follow up with the best picture you’ve ever taken so you can both compliment each other.\\nPropose it by saying something like, “What’s the best pic you have on your phone?”\\n5. Give him a compliment.\\nPoint out his looks, his personality, or even his voice.\\nSend him a text giving him a compliment so he knows you can’t wait to see him again. If you aren’t sure what to say, think about what you like about him the most. Try something like:\\n“Your voice is my favorite sound.”\\n“You looked so good in that picture you posted earlier.”\\n“I feel so safe around you.”\\n6. Let him know you’re thinking about him.\\nIf he pops into your head throughout the day, send him a text.\\nMaybe you remember something sweet he did, or maybe you’re laughing at a joke he told. You can make his day by telling him what you just thought of, like:\\n“I can’t stop thinking about how hard we laughed together last night. I had so much fun.”\\n“You keep running through my mind! Stop distracting me, I’m busy.”\\n7. Try a play on words.\\nThese goofy phrases will make him laugh out loud.\\nIf you want to send him something sweet but you aren’t sure what to say, try one of these lines. Add a few emojis in to really send a message!\\n“Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you!”\\n“I know you’re busy today, but please add me to your to-do list.”\\n8. Send him a silly pickup line.\\nYou might make him chuckle when he reads what you’ve sent.\\nPick the most over-the-top pickup line that you can think of to really get a giggle out of him. If you’re lucky, he’ll send one back! Try something like:\\n“Do you like raisins? How about a date?”\\n“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”\\n“I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.”\\n9. Tell him you can’t wait to see him.\\nPlay up your excitement to let him know you miss him.\\nEven if you just saw him yesterday, send him a sweet text telling him how eager you are to see him again. It will convey the message that you like him a lot and enjoy his company. Say something like:\\n“Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! I always have so much fun when we hang out.”\\n“Counting down the days until I see you again. Miss you lots.”\\n10. Suggest some fun activities for your next hang.\\nIt will show him that you’re excited to see him again.\\nText him a few date ideas to see if he likes any of them. If he does, that’s your cue to get planning! Try something like:\\n“Want to come over to my house and Netflix and chill?”\\n“I’d love to take you to that new restaurant downtown.”\\n“What do you think about a date to the aquarium?”\\n11. Text him a sweet goodnight message.\\nLet him know he’s on your mind as you fall asleep.\\nTell him you’re going to bed and assure him that you can’t wait to talk to him in the morning. Even if he’s already asleep, he’ll appreciate your sweet sentiment. Say something like:\\n“Goodnight, I’ll see you in my dreams.”\\n“Sleep tight, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”\\n“Goodnight, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”\\n12. Send a photo of yourself.\\nTake a selfie or grab a shot of your surrounding landscape.\\nSend it to your boyfriend with a fun caption letting him know where you are and what you’re doing. It’s a nice way to update him on your daily life, and you might even get a cute selfie back!\\nIf you aren’t feeling the selfie vibes, grab a cute pic of your animals or the view instead.\\n13. Send him a song that reminds you of him.\\nHe’ll be delighted that you’re thinking of him when he’s not there.\\nPull up your Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube account, and search for a song that makes you think of him. Send him a link along with a caption like, “This made me think of you.”\\nYou could send a song that played on your first date, a song that you two danced to, or just one that really captures who he is as a person.\\n14. Use a few emojis.\\nIt will keep your messages lighthearted and fun.\\nThrow in a few smiley faces or some heart emojis when you’re feeling it. Try to stick to 1 or 2 emojis per message so you don’t flood his phone with them!\\nYou could also look for funny gifs or cute pictures to send instead.\\n15. Send him a funny meme.\\nTell him that this made you laugh or think of him.\\nIf you stumble across a funny meme that you like, text it to him so he can laugh too. You could also send it to him via Instagram or Twitter if it’s easier.\\nBonus points if the meme references an inside joke or tv show that you both really like!\\nTips\\nIf you can’t see your boyfriend in person for a while, try to do a video chat for some face to face contact.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Spending time with your boyfriend in-person is ideal, but there may come a day when you have to spend some time apart. Thankfully, texting your boyfriend is a great way to stay connected and keep up with him on a daily basis. We’ve compiled a few cute things you can send to your boyfriend to make him smile and miss you even more. This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Cher Gopman, founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send him a good morning message.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.\", \"描述\": \"It’s always nice to wake up to a text from your boo! When you get out of bed, quickly text him a sweet good morning to make his day. Try something like:\\n“Good morning! I hope you have a great day.”\\n“Time to wake up! Can’t wait to see you later.”\\n“Good morning babe!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask fun, interesting questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your conversation moving by texting him a few questions.\", \"描述\": \"You could ask him about your relationship, where he sees himself in the future, or just what he’s up to right now. The more questions you ask, the more fun your conversation will be. Try questions like:\\n“Do you have any hidden talents?”\\n“Would you ever go skydiving?”\\n“What’s your favorite memory of us so far?”\\n“What is your favorite movie of all time?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirt with him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send a suggestive text message to get his engine going.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you two aren’t together in person doesn’t mean you can’t flirt! Craft a fun, sexy message to send him, like:\\n“I had a dream about you last night. Wanna hear what it was about?”\\n“If we were stuck together on a deserted island, what’s the first thing you would do?”\\n“Thinking of you and how you kissed me last night. Wish you were here.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him to send the best photo he’s ever taken.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It could be of himself, his animals, nature—anything!\", \"描述\": \"Request that he sends you an artistic picture so you can gush about how nice it looks. Follow up with the best picture you’ve ever taken so you can both compliment each other.\\nPropose it by saying something like, “What’s the best pic you have on your phone?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give him a compliment.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Point out his looks, his personality, or even his voice.\", \"描述\": \"Send him a text giving him a compliment so he knows you can’t wait to see him again. If you aren’t sure what to say, think about what you like about him the most. Try something like:\\n“Your voice is my favorite sound.”\\n“You looked so good in that picture you posted earlier.”\\n“I feel so safe around you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let him know you’re thinking about him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he pops into your head throughout the day, send him a text.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you remember something sweet he did, or maybe you’re laughing at a joke he told. You can make his day by telling him what you just thought of, like:\\n“I can’t stop thinking about how hard we laughed together last night. I had so much fun.”\\n“You keep running through my mind! Stop distracting me, I’m busy.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try a play on words.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"These goofy phrases will make him laugh out loud.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to send him something sweet but you aren’t sure what to say, try one of these lines. Add a few emojis in to really send a message!\\n“Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you!”\\n“I know you’re busy today, but please add me to your to-do list.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Send him a silly pickup line.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might make him chuckle when he reads what you’ve sent.\", \"描述\": \"Pick the most over-the-top pickup line that you can think of to really get a giggle out of him. If you’re lucky, he’ll send one back! Try something like:\\n“Do you like raisins? How about a date?”\\n“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”\\n“I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Tell him you can’t wait to see him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play up your excitement to let him know you miss him.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you just saw him yesterday, send him a sweet text telling him how eager you are to see him again. It will convey the message that you like him a lot and enjoy his company. Say something like:\\n“Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! I always have so much fun when we hang out.”\\n“Counting down the days until I see you again. Miss you lots.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Suggest some fun activities for your next hang.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will show him that you’re excited to see him again.\", \"描述\": \"Text him a few date ideas to see if he likes any of them. If he does, that’s your cue to get planning! Try something like:\\n“Want to come over to my house and Netflix and chill?”\\n“I’d love to take you to that new restaurant downtown.”\\n“What do you think about a date to the aquarium?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Text him a sweet goodnight message.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let him know he’s on your mind as you fall asleep.\", \"描述\": \"Tell him you’re going to bed and assure him that you can’t wait to talk to him in the morning. Even if he’s already asleep, he’ll appreciate your sweet sentiment. Say something like:\\n“Goodnight, I’ll see you in my dreams.”\\n“Sleep tight, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”\\n“Goodnight, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Send a photo of yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a selfie or grab a shot of your surrounding landscape.\", \"描述\": \"Send it to your boyfriend with a fun caption letting him know where you are and what you’re doing. It’s a nice way to update him on your daily life, and you might even get a cute selfie back!\\nIf you aren’t feeling the selfie vibes, grab a cute pic of your animals or the view instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Send him a song that reminds you of him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He’ll be delighted that you’re thinking of him when he’s not there.\", \"描述\": \"Pull up your Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube account, and search for a song that makes you think of him. Send him a link along with a caption like, “This made me think of you.”\\nYou could send a song that played on your first date, a song that you two danced to, or just one that really captures who he is as a person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Use a few emojis.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will keep your messages lighthearted and fun.\", \"描述\": \"Throw in a few smiley faces or some heart emojis when you’re feeling it. Try to stick to 1 or 2 emojis per message so you don’t flood his phone with them!\\nYou could also look for funny gifs or cute pictures to send instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Send him a funny meme.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell him that this made you laugh or think of him.\", \"描述\": \"If you stumble across a funny meme that you like, text it to him so he can laugh too. You could also send it to him via Instagram or Twitter if it’s easier.\\nBonus points if the meme references an inside joke or tv show that you both really like!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you can’t see your boyfriend in person for a while, try to do a video chat for some face to face contact.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,674 | How to Be Debt Free | 1. Forming a Plan
1-1. Assess your problems.
If you are in debt, you can't afford to be an ostrich. Don't bury your head in the sand and give up. Immediately, right now, you've got to figure out how much money you owe so you can form a plan for getting out of the hole and getting on with your life. Get realistic and crunch some numbers.
Generally credit card debt, car payments, mortgage, and student loans make up the majority of outstanding debt that most people struggle with. Add up these debts and any other types of debt that you've incurred. Get a number on the table and face it.
1-2. Prioritize your highest interest debts.
Once you've got the raw data, it's important to look a little closer. Which loans have the highest percentage of interest?
Part of the reason debt is so hard to get out of is that it gets bigger over time. If you don't pay it down quickly, you end up paying a lot more in the long run, making it very difficult to get out from underneath.
1-3. Come up with a plan for paying down your debts.
Review your finances thoroughly, crunch the numbers, and see which method of making payments will be the most effective for your situation.
Work on paying down the debt with the highest interest first, while making minimal payments on everything else. This is sometimes called "laddering" your debt, and helps the borrower feel more actively in control of the debt.
If the interest rates are similar for your debts, pay off the one with the lowest balance first. This is sometimes called "reverse laddering," which allows you see your progress faster, and will make you feel good after each smaller debt is paid off.
1-4. Talk to a financial advisor about consolidating your debt
You don't have to go about this alone. Loan paperwork is notoriously complex; it's frustrating to try to go through it solo, but find a financial advisor that you can trust and talk about consolidating the loans into a more manageable single payment each month, to make it easier to pay down your debt.
It may also be possible to get the interest rate lowered on certain loans, or to establish a deferral for a short period of time. In some situations, you may be able to defer the payment for a certain length of time, during which you won't accrue interest. During this time, you can aggressively pay down the loan while it's not getting any bigger, a serious advantage.
2. Paying Down Debts
2-1. Create a strict budget
Doing the math necessary to live within your means isn't as complicated as it might seem. Here goes: Add up what you make every month, then add up your necessary expenses every month. Your necessary expenses include food, rent or mortgage payments, bills, and substantial payments on the most essential loans.
Balance the amount of money that goes into each category of your necessary expenses to try to get as much as possible of your income into the loan payment category, so you can pay down your loans more quickly. Stick to this budget month in and month out.
If the outgoing funds are more than the incoming funds, you've got some work to do. Obviously, you've got to either cut some expenses or make more money. In some situations you can do both. Consider getting a second job, taking extra hours and extra responsibilities at work, and cutting costs wherever you can find them.
2-2. Cut costs wherever you can
Learning to cut your necessary costs down as much as possible and stretch every dollar will help you devote more money toward paying down your loans and getting out from under debt as quickly as possible.
Cook dollar-saving meals. Stop going out to eat and start buying cheap bulk ingredients and learning to cook big meals that'll help feed your family on the cheap. Fast food restaurants trick people into thinking it's cheap, but a pot of vegetables, rice, and beans goes much farther much more healthfully than a cheeseburger.
Cut inessential entertainment expenses. Are cable and Netflix subscriptions really necessary when you live in a town with a public library? Do you really need to hit that restaurant, club, or music venue? Find ways to have fun for cheap.
2-3. Pay up on your debts whenever you're flush.
Made a little extra on your paycheck this week? You could blow it all on a night out, or you could put it toward your loans. Got a bonus for the winter holiday? You could buy a bunch of gifts or you could put it toward your loans. If you want to be debt free, you have to be strict with yourself. No excess expenditures until you're completely debt free and can pay for things without going back into debt. Commit to getting there and work hard until you're there.
2-4. Save anything you don't spend.
If you've budgeted appropriately and have some money left over at the end of the month, save it. It's important to have money saved up for incidentals, emergencies, and other expenditures which can sink you right back down into debt. Having an emergency fund is absolutely essential to avoiding debt and staying debt free.
Come up with a savings goal. Even if it's just a few hundred dollars, going about the steps necessary to save money instead of spending it and watching your savings account grow can be a hugely satisfying experience for some people. Make saving more addictive than spending.
2-5. If you're entitled to a tax refund, spend it wisely
For many people, tax season is something to dread. For some, it's actually an opportunity to get back a little money in the form of a tax refund. Those eligible for benefits like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC), moreover, could get a refund for as much as $6,000 if they support a family of three or more children. Imagine how much debt you could pay off with your tax refund. Don't expect a huge windfall during tax season, but don't be unprepared to use it wisely if it does come.
3. Staying Debt Free
3-1. Commit to a change in behavior.
If you want to be debt free, you need to freeze all of your inessential spending and avoid buying things that you can't afford. If you can't pay for something in cash, today, you don't need it. Commit to the process and the journey of remaining free of debt and enjoy the freedom that it brings.
Being debt free doesn't mean living like a miser. If you want to spend a little on vacation, or splurge a little every now and then, feel free to go for it. Just make sure that these kind of fun expenses come from monthly income that's in excess, not being charged on accounts that are already swollen beyond capacity.
3-2. Keep saving.
Every paycheck, put aside some money for bills, food, and other needed necessities of living, and some money aside to save. Also put aside a little money for non-necessities. It's important to be able to buy things you want without going into debt. Keep saving money, and paying off bills so that you can pay off your debt.
3-3. Be happy living within your means.
For many people, debt happens because we think we deserve a certain quality of life. Why don't we deserve the expensive cars, the fine jewelry, and the fancy vacations that other people can afford? This kind of thinking is how people get sunk into heavy debts they struggle their whole life to pay off. Learn to be happy living within your means, and take pleasure in every dollar you save, in every day that you spend out from under the boot of someone else's money. Be free.
3-4. Stay healthy.
Medical debts quickly sink financially secure people into financial trouble. You need to eat well, exercise, and maintain proper dental health to avoid costly and unexpected expenses that come as the result of health scares. A single trip to the hospital can bankrupt people who aren't prepare for it. Don't be one of them.
If you're uninsured, make sure you get some kind of affordable health insurance as quickly as possible. Talk to your employer about insurance options, or research national options in the marketplace. It's very important to have health insurance for when you need a little help.
3-5. Build credit
When you've got your debts paid down, the fun can start. Building credit and working your way into a good credit score will have those credit cards and expenses working to your advantage. When you can afford to buy something outright, pay for it with credit and then pay it off immediately to help build back the credit that might have suffered under the weight of your loans. Take steps to make your credit work for you.
Tips
Avoid using credit cards! Seriously! The easiest way to avoid debt is never, never charge anything on a credit card. If you absolutely think that you need a credit card (to "help" get a good credit score) use the credit card only for purchases that you can pay off at the time you use the credit card. Pay off your credit card bill completely when it's due. Don't leave anything to accrue interest and definitely don't delay for late payment charges, those are just extra expenses. This way you will earn a good credit score without taking on more debt.
Spend as little money as possible.
Use coupons and stock up on staple foods when on sale (BOGO's) while keeping grocery costs within budget.
Warnings
Avoid materialist traps. No one cares what you own, and if they do, they're insecure. If you want to have nice things, make sure they're for convenience and you can pay cash for them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Forming a Plan\\n1-1. Assess your problems.\\nIf you are in debt, you can't afford to be an ostrich. Don't bury your head in the sand and give up. Immediately, right now, you've got to figure out how much money you owe so you can form a plan for getting out of the hole and getting on with your life. Get realistic and crunch some numbers.\\nGenerally credit card debt, car payments, mortgage, and student loans make up the majority of outstanding debt that most people struggle with. Add up these debts and any other types of debt that you've incurred. Get a number on the table and face it.\\n1-2. Prioritize your highest interest debts.\\nOnce you've got the raw data, it's important to look a little closer. Which loans have the highest percentage of interest?\\nPart of the reason debt is so hard to get out of is that it gets bigger over time. If you don't pay it down quickly, you end up paying a lot more in the long run, making it very difficult to get out from underneath.\\n1-3. Come up with a plan for paying down your debts.\\nReview your finances thoroughly, crunch the numbers, and see which method of making payments will be the most effective for your situation.\\nWork on paying down the debt with the highest interest first, while making minimal payments on everything else. This is sometimes called \\\"laddering\\\" your debt, and helps the borrower feel more actively in control of the debt.\\nIf the interest rates are similar for your debts, pay off the one with the lowest balance first. This is sometimes called \\\"reverse laddering,\\\" which allows you see your progress faster, and will make you feel good after each smaller debt is paid off.\\n1-4. Talk to a financial advisor about consolidating your debt\\nYou don't have to go about this alone. Loan paperwork is notoriously complex; it's frustrating to try to go through it solo, but find a financial advisor that you can trust and talk about consolidating the loans into a more manageable single payment each month, to make it easier to pay down your debt.\\nIt may also be possible to get the interest rate lowered on certain loans, or to establish a deferral for a short period of time. In some situations, you may be able to defer the payment for a certain length of time, during which you won't accrue interest. During this time, you can aggressively pay down the loan while it's not getting any bigger, a serious advantage.\\n2. Paying Down Debts\\n2-1. Create a strict budget\\nDoing the math necessary to live within your means isn't as complicated as it might seem. Here goes: Add up what you make every month, then add up your necessary expenses every month. Your necessary expenses include food, rent or mortgage payments, bills, and substantial payments on the most essential loans.\\nBalance the amount of money that goes into each category of your necessary expenses to try to get as much as possible of your income into the loan payment category, so you can pay down your loans more quickly. Stick to this budget month in and month out.\\nIf the outgoing funds are more than the incoming funds, you've got some work to do. Obviously, you've got to either cut some expenses or make more money. In some situations you can do both. Consider getting a second job, taking extra hours and extra responsibilities at work, and cutting costs wherever you can find them.\\n2-2. Cut costs wherever you can\\nLearning to cut your necessary costs down as much as possible and stretch every dollar will help you devote more money toward paying down your loans and getting out from under debt as quickly as possible.\\n\\nCook dollar-saving meals. Stop going out to eat and start buying cheap bulk ingredients and learning to cook big meals that'll help feed your family on the cheap. Fast food restaurants trick people into thinking it's cheap, but a pot of vegetables, rice, and beans goes much farther much more healthfully than a cheeseburger.\\nCut inessential entertainment expenses. Are cable and Netflix subscriptions really necessary when you live in a town with a public library? Do you really need to hit that restaurant, club, or music venue? Find ways to have fun for cheap.\\n2-3. Pay up on your debts whenever you're flush.\\nMade a little extra on your paycheck this week? You could blow it all on a night out, or you could put it toward your loans. Got a bonus for the winter holiday? You could buy a bunch of gifts or you could put it toward your loans. If you want to be debt free, you have to be strict with yourself. No excess expenditures until you're completely debt free and can pay for things without going back into debt. Commit to getting there and work hard until you're there.\\n2-4. Save anything you don't spend.\\nIf you've budgeted appropriately and have some money left over at the end of the month, save it. It's important to have money saved up for incidentals, emergencies, and other expenditures which can sink you right back down into debt. Having an emergency fund is absolutely essential to avoiding debt and staying debt free.\\nCome up with a savings goal. Even if it's just a few hundred dollars, going about the steps necessary to save money instead of spending it and watching your savings account grow can be a hugely satisfying experience for some people. Make saving more addictive than spending.\\n2-5. If you're entitled to a tax refund, spend it wisely\\nFor many people, tax season is something to dread. For some, it's actually an opportunity to get back a little money in the form of a tax refund. Those eligible for benefits like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC), moreover, could get a refund for as much as $6,000 if they support a family of three or more children. Imagine how much debt you could pay off with your tax refund. Don't expect a huge windfall during tax season, but don't be unprepared to use it wisely if it does come.\\n3. Staying Debt Free\\n3-1. Commit to a change in behavior.\\nIf you want to be debt free, you need to freeze all of your inessential spending and avoid buying things that you can't afford. If you can't pay for something in cash, today, you don't need it. Commit to the process and the journey of remaining free of debt and enjoy the freedom that it brings.\\nBeing debt free doesn't mean living like a miser. If you want to spend a little on vacation, or splurge a little every now and then, feel free to go for it. Just make sure that these kind of fun expenses come from monthly income that's in excess, not being charged on accounts that are already swollen beyond capacity.\\n3-2. Keep saving.\\nEvery paycheck, put aside some money for bills, food, and other needed necessities of living, and some money aside to save. Also put aside a little money for non-necessities. It's important to be able to buy things you want without going into debt. Keep saving money, and paying off bills so that you can pay off your debt.\\n3-3. Be happy living within your means.\\nFor many people, debt happens because we think we deserve a certain quality of life. Why don't we deserve the expensive cars, the fine jewelry, and the fancy vacations that other people can afford? This kind of thinking is how people get sunk into heavy debts they struggle their whole life to pay off. Learn to be happy living within your means, and take pleasure in every dollar you save, in every day that you spend out from under the boot of someone else's money. Be free.\\n3-4. Stay healthy.\\nMedical debts quickly sink financially secure people into financial trouble. You need to eat well, exercise, and maintain proper dental health to avoid costly and unexpected expenses that come as the result of health scares. A single trip to the hospital can bankrupt people who aren't prepare for it. Don't be one of them.\\nIf you're uninsured, make sure you get some kind of affordable health insurance as quickly as possible. Talk to your employer about insurance options, or research national options in the marketplace. It's very important to have health insurance for when you need a little help.\\n3-5. Build credit\\nWhen you've got your debts paid down, the fun can start. Building credit and working your way into a good credit score will have those credit cards and expenses working to your advantage. When you can afford to buy something outright, pay for it with credit and then pay it off immediately to help build back the credit that might have suffered under the weight of your loans. Take steps to make your credit work for you.\\nTips\\nAvoid using credit cards! Seriously! The easiest way to avoid debt is never, never charge anything on a credit card. If you absolutely think that you need a credit card (to \\\"help\\\" get a good credit score) use the credit card only for purchases that you can pay off at the time you use the credit card. Pay off your credit card bill completely when it's due. Don't leave anything to accrue interest and definitely don't delay for late payment charges, those are just extra expenses. This way you will earn a good credit score without taking on more debt.\\nSpend as little money as possible.\\nUse coupons and stock up on staple foods when on sale (BOGO's) while keeping grocery costs within budget.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid materialist traps. No one cares what you own, and if they do, they're insecure. If you want to have nice things, make sure they're for convenience and you can pay cash for them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Debt feels like a lead weight that hangs around your neck, and with student loans, car payments, and medical bills, it all adds up into a pretty heavy one. Learning to confront your loans head-on and form a strategy for paying them down can help you start managing them. Get out from under your loans and get back in the world, then learn to stay debt free.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forming a Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess your problems.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in debt, you can't afford to be an ostrich. Don't bury your head in the sand and give up. Immediately, right now, you've got to figure out how much money you owe so you can form a plan for getting out of the hole and getting on with your life. Get realistic and crunch some numbers.\\nGenerally credit card debt, car payments, mortgage, and student loans make up the majority of outstanding debt that most people struggle with. Add up these debts and any other types of debt that you've incurred. Get a number on the table and face it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your highest interest debts.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've got the raw data, it's important to look a little closer. Which loans have the highest percentage of interest?\\nPart of the reason debt is so hard to get out of is that it gets bigger over time. If you don't pay it down quickly, you end up paying a lot more in the long run, making it very difficult to get out from underneath.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Come up with a plan for paying down your debts.\", \"描述\": \"Review your finances thoroughly, crunch the numbers, and see which method of making payments will be the most effective for your situation.\\nWork on paying down the debt with the highest interest first, while making minimal payments on everything else. This is sometimes called \\\"laddering\\\" your debt, and helps the borrower feel more actively in control of the debt.\\nIf the interest rates are similar for your debts, pay off the one with the lowest balance first. This is sometimes called \\\"reverse laddering,\\\" which allows you see your progress faster, and will make you feel good after each smaller debt is paid off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to a financial advisor about consolidating your debt\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to go about this alone. Loan paperwork is notoriously complex; it's frustrating to try to go through it solo, but find a financial advisor that you can trust and talk about consolidating the loans into a more manageable single payment each month, to make it easier to pay down your debt.\\nIt may also be possible to get the interest rate lowered on certain loans, or to establish a deferral for a short period of time. In some situations, you may be able to defer the payment for a certain length of time, during which you won't accrue interest. During this time, you can aggressively pay down the loan while it's not getting any bigger, a serious advantage.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Paying Down Debts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a strict budget\", \"描述\": \"Doing the math necessary to live within your means isn't as complicated as it might seem. Here goes: Add up what you make every month, then add up your necessary expenses every month. Your necessary expenses include food, rent or mortgage payments, bills, and substantial payments on the most essential loans.\\nBalance the amount of money that goes into each category of your necessary expenses to try to get as much as possible of your income into the loan payment category, so you can pay down your loans more quickly. Stick to this budget month in and month out.\\nIf the outgoing funds are more than the incoming funds, you've got some work to do. Obviously, you've got to either cut some expenses or make more money. In some situations you can do both. Consider getting a second job, taking extra hours and extra responsibilities at work, and cutting costs wherever you can find them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cut costs wherever you can\", \"描述\": \"Learning to cut your necessary costs down as much as possible and stretch every dollar will help you devote more money toward paying down your loans and getting out from under debt as quickly as possible.\\n\\nCook dollar-saving meals. Stop going out to eat and start buying cheap bulk ingredients and learning to cook big meals that'll help feed your family on the cheap. Fast food restaurants trick people into thinking it's cheap, but a pot of vegetables, rice, and beans goes much farther much more healthfully than a cheeseburger.\\nCut inessential entertainment expenses. Are cable and Netflix subscriptions really necessary when you live in a town with a public library? Do you really need to hit that restaurant, club, or music venue? Find ways to have fun for cheap.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay up on your debts whenever you're flush.\", \"描述\": \"Made a little extra on your paycheck this week? You could blow it all on a night out, or you could put it toward your loans. Got a bonus for the winter holiday? You could buy a bunch of gifts or you could put it toward your loans. If you want to be debt free, you have to be strict with yourself. No excess expenditures until you're completely debt free and can pay for things without going back into debt. Commit to getting there and work hard until you're there.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Save anything you don't spend.\", \"描述\": \"If you've budgeted appropriately and have some money left over at the end of the month, save it. It's important to have money saved up for incidentals, emergencies, and other expenditures which can sink you right back down into debt. Having an emergency fund is absolutely essential to avoiding debt and staying debt free.\\nCome up with a savings goal. Even if it's just a few hundred dollars, going about the steps necessary to save money instead of spending it and watching your savings account grow can be a hugely satisfying experience for some people. Make saving more addictive than spending.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"If you're entitled to a tax refund, spend it wisely\", \"描述\": \"For many people, tax season is something to dread. For some, it's actually an opportunity to get back a little money in the form of a tax refund. Those eligible for benefits like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC), moreover, could get a refund for as much as $6,000 if they support a family of three or more children. Imagine how much debt you could pay off with your tax refund. Don't expect a huge windfall during tax season, but don't be unprepared to use it wisely if it does come.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Debt Free\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Commit to a change in behavior.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be debt free, you need to freeze all of your inessential spending and avoid buying things that you can't afford. If you can't pay for something in cash, today, you don't need it. Commit to the process and the journey of remaining free of debt and enjoy the freedom that it brings.\\nBeing debt free doesn't mean living like a miser. If you want to spend a little on vacation, or splurge a little every now and then, feel free to go for it. Just make sure that these kind of fun expenses come from monthly income that's in excess, not being charged on accounts that are already swollen beyond capacity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep saving.\", \"描述\": \"Every paycheck, put aside some money for bills, food, and other needed necessities of living, and some money aside to save. Also put aside a little money for non-necessities. It's important to be able to buy things you want without going into debt. Keep saving money, and paying off bills so that you can pay off your debt.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be happy living within your means.\", \"描述\": \"For many people, debt happens because we think we deserve a certain quality of life. Why don't we deserve the expensive cars, the fine jewelry, and the fancy vacations that other people can afford? This kind of thinking is how people get sunk into heavy debts they struggle their whole life to pay off. Learn to be happy living within your means, and take pleasure in every dollar you save, in every day that you spend out from under the boot of someone else's money. Be free.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Medical debts quickly sink financially secure people into financial trouble. You need to eat well, exercise, and maintain proper dental health to avoid costly and unexpected expenses that come as the result of health scares. A single trip to the hospital can bankrupt people who aren't prepare for it. Don't be one of them.\\nIf you're uninsured, make sure you get some kind of affordable health insurance as quickly as possible. Talk to your employer about insurance options, or research national options in the marketplace. It's very important to have health insurance for when you need a little help.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build credit\", \"描述\": \"When you've got your debts paid down, the fun can start. Building credit and working your way into a good credit score will have those credit cards and expenses working to your advantage. When you can afford to buy something outright, pay for it with credit and then pay it off immediately to help build back the credit that might have suffered under the weight of your loans. Take steps to make your credit work for you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid using credit cards! Seriously! The easiest way to avoid debt is never, never charge anything on a credit card. If you absolutely think that you need a credit card (to \\\"help\\\" get a good credit score) use the credit card only for purchases that you can pay off at the time you use the credit card. Pay off your credit card bill completely when it's due. Don't leave anything to accrue interest and definitely don't delay for late payment charges, those are just extra expenses. This way you will earn a good credit score without taking on more debt.\\n\", \"Spend as little money as possible.\\n\", \"Use coupons and stock up on staple foods when on sale (BOGO's) while keeping grocery costs within budget.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid materialist traps. No one cares what you own, and if they do, they're insecure. If you want to have nice things, make sure they're for convenience and you can pay cash for them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,675 | How to Be Decisive | 1. Training Your Brain
1-1. Decide to be decisive.
This might seem like circular reasoning, but the fact remains that you must first make the decision to become a more decisive person before you can actually be decisive. If you're naturally indecisive, you will continue to be that way by habit. Becoming decisive will require active, conscious effort.
Tell yourself that you are decisive—not that you "can be" or "will become" decisive, but that you already "are." On the flip side, you also need to stop telling yourself that you are indecisive, and you need to stop telling that to other people, too.
1-2. Picture yourself as a decisive person.
Try to imagine it. Ask yourself how it will feel to be more decisive and what you will look like to others once you start taking a more decisive stance on matters. The more you visualize it, the clearer and more familiar the image will become.
Pay special attention to feelings of self-confidence and signs of respect from other people. If you're naturally pessimistic, it might be difficult to imagine positive results. Force yourself if you have to, though, and don't fixate on worries about things getting messed up or people getting angry at you.
1-3. Stop worrying about "bad" decisions.
Acknowledge that each decision you make will lead to a learning opportunity, even those decisions that cause seemingly unfavorable outcomes. By learning to see the good in each decision you make, you can become less fearful of those that turn out poorly.
1-4. Be brave in the face of your mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes. Saying so might seem trite, but it's the truth. Acknowledging and accepting this truth will not make you weaker, though. On the contrary, by embracing your imperfection, you can train your mind to stop fearing it. Once you overcome that fear, it will no longer be able to control you and hold you back.
1-5. Realize that indecisiveness is also a decision.
Something will happen whether you actively choose it or not. In that sense, not making a decision is the same thing as making a decision. By not making the decision yourself, though, you lose control of a situation. Since something always results from each decision making opportunity, you're ultimately better off making the decision and keeping the control than letting it slip out of your hands.
For example, you might be torn between two job opportunities. If you refuse to make a decision about which to choose, one company might withdraw their offer, causing you to choose the other company. The first job might have actually been the better one, but you missed out on it because you did not go through the work of making the choice.
2. Practicing Decisiveness
2-1. Throw yourself an easy choice for practice.
As the saying goes, “practice makes perfect.” Start giving yourself simple decisions to make that have minimal consequences. Continue practicing with these small decisions until you can make them in under a minute.
Small decisions include questions like, "What should I have for dinner?" or "Would I rather see a movie or stay at home this weekend?" Generally, these choices do not have long-term consequences and will only affect you or a small group of people.
2-2. Create a more advanced situation.
Once you get comfortable with your small choices, put yourself into situations that will require you to make much more daring decisions in a similarly short period of time. The consequences do not need to be anything too grave, but the choices themselves should be more intimidating.
For example, you could buy two tickets to an event before you secure a date or buy the ingredients before you pick a recipe to make. If you're worried about something going to waste, you're more likely to be assertive about making a choice to avoid that waste.
2-3. Force yourself to make a decision.
When you are inevitably forced to make a decision at the drop of a hat, do so. Trust your gut and learn to listen to your instincts. You might stumble a few times, but with each experience, you'll gradually sharpen and improve your intuition.
This is actually a pretty big part of the process. You need to have faith in the idea that you're already capable of making good, split-second decisions. If your initial results suggest otherwise, simply keep at it until you do get good at it and trust that that day will come after enough experience.
3. Making Better Decisions
3-1. Set deadlines.
When you are faced with a choice that does not require an instant answer, give yourself a deadline for your decision. If an external deadline already exists, create a separate internal deadline for you to abide by that comes well before the external deadline arrives.
Most decisions do not require as much time to make as you might initially assume. Without a deadline, you are more likely to procrastinate on making a decision, which can ultimately lead to a greater sense of uncertainty when you do make a choice.
3-2. Get as much information as possible.
Gather as much information as possible about each possible choice involved in the matter. When you know that you are well informed, you will naturally feel more capable of reaching a decent conclusion.
You need to actively seek out the information you're looking for. Do not sit around and wait for it to drop in front of you. Research the issue at hand from as many different angles as possible in the time that you have.
Sometimes, you may reach your decision in the midst of your research. If this happens, trust your gut and go with it. If it doesn't, though, review your research after you've gathered as much as you can and navigate through the decision from there.
3-3. List the pros and cons.
The practice is an old one, but a good one. Write out the advantages and disadvantages involved with each possibility. Giving yourself a visual representation of your possible consequences can allow you to look at your options more objectively.
Also keep in mind that not all “pros” and “cons” are equal. Your “pro” column may only have one or two points in it while the “con” column has four or five points, but if the two points in the “pro” column are really important and the four in the “con” column are fairly insignificant, the “pros” can still outweigh the “cons.”
3-4. Step back from your initial perceptions.
If no option seems like a good one, ask yourself if you are really looking at all possible choices in the matter. If there are perceptions or ideas holding you back from considering other alternatives, knock those down and look at outside options without bias.
Some of the limits you naturally set are good, of course. Knocking those limits down long enough to consider the options that lie beyond them won't hurt because you'll still be able to realize that those options are not good. Giving yourself more options does not mean that you'll be blind to bad choices; it only means that you'll have a chance to find a good choice that you never would have considered before.
3-5. Imagine the outcome.
Picture how things will be if you make a specific decision. Imagine both the positives and the negatives. Do this with each option, then ask yourself which imagined future is ultimately the best one.
Consider your feelings, as well. Imagine how you will feel upon choosing one option over another, and ask yourself if one choice will leave you feeling fulfilled while another may leave you feeling empty.
3-6. Pick out your priorities.
Sometimes there is no way to avoid a bit of unpleasantness. When this happens, ask yourself which priorities are the most important. Fixate on satisfying those priorities over the matters you consider less pressing.
Sometimes, this means defining core values. For instance, when making a choice regarding the future of your relationship, ask yourself what you really find important in a relationship. If sincerity and compassion are more important to you than excitement, you'd be better off with the sincere homebody than the adventurous liar.
Other times, this means determining which consequences are of greater value than others. If you need to make a decision on a project and realize that you cannot satisfy both your budget and your quality demands, ask yourself if the budget or the quality is of greater significance for that project.
3-7. Reflect on the past.
Review your memory and think about any decision you faced in the past that may have been similar to the decision currently in front of you. Think about the choices you made then and ask yourself how they turned out. Mimic the good choices and act oppositely of the bad choices.
If you have a habit of making bad choices, ask yourself what the underlying cause of those bad choices might be. For instance, maybe most of your poor decisions are based on a lust for wealth or power. If that's the case, then factor out those options that would satisfy that craving and consider other alternatives.
3-8. Stay in the present.
While you can reflect on the past to help guide you in the present, ultimately, you need remember that you are currently in the present. Anxieties and fears about things that happened in the past should be left in the past.
4. Managing the After Effects
4-1. Keep a journal and look back on it.
Write down a record of the major choices you make and the reasoning that went into each choice. When you start to doubt or waver about one of those decisions, read what you wrote about it. Reading the thought process behind your decision can often help strengthen your resolve.
You can also look at this journal during “off” times, when you do not need to make any decision or when the consequences of a past decision no longer weigh on your mind. Read through your entries to see your thought process and examine it objectively. Assess your past choices, asking yourself what leads to success and what leads to failure, and take notes for the future.
4-2. Avoid living in the past.
When a decision turns out poorly, analyze what went wrong, then press forward and move onto the next choice. Regret will not do you any favors. It can't turn back time, but it can hold you back and typically does.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Training Your Brain\\n1-1. Decide to be decisive.\\nThis might seem like circular reasoning, but the fact remains that you must first make the decision to become a more decisive person before you can actually be decisive. If you're naturally indecisive, you will continue to be that way by habit. Becoming decisive will require active, conscious effort.\\nTell yourself that you are decisive—not that you \\\"can be\\\" or \\\"will become\\\" decisive, but that you already \\\"are.\\\" On the flip side, you also need to stop telling yourself that you are indecisive, and you need to stop telling that to other people, too.\\n1-2. Picture yourself as a decisive person.\\nTry to imagine it. Ask yourself how it will feel to be more decisive and what you will look like to others once you start taking a more decisive stance on matters. The more you visualize it, the clearer and more familiar the image will become.\\nPay special attention to feelings of self-confidence and signs of respect from other people. If you're naturally pessimistic, it might be difficult to imagine positive results. Force yourself if you have to, though, and don't fixate on worries about things getting messed up or people getting angry at you.\\n1-3. Stop worrying about \\\"bad\\\" decisions.\\nAcknowledge that each decision you make will lead to a learning opportunity, even those decisions that cause seemingly unfavorable outcomes. By learning to see the good in each decision you make, you can become less fearful of those that turn out poorly.\\n1-4. Be brave in the face of your mistakes.\\nEveryone makes mistakes. Saying so might seem trite, but it's the truth. Acknowledging and accepting this truth will not make you weaker, though. On the contrary, by embracing your imperfection, you can train your mind to stop fearing it. Once you overcome that fear, it will no longer be able to control you and hold you back.\\n1-5. Realize that indecisiveness is also a decision.\\nSomething will happen whether you actively choose it or not. In that sense, not making a decision is the same thing as making a decision. By not making the decision yourself, though, you lose control of a situation. Since something always results from each decision making opportunity, you're ultimately better off making the decision and keeping the control than letting it slip out of your hands.\\nFor example, you might be torn between two job opportunities. If you refuse to make a decision about which to choose, one company might withdraw their offer, causing you to choose the other company. The first job might have actually been the better one, but you missed out on it because you did not go through the work of making the choice.\\n2. Practicing Decisiveness\\n2-1. Throw yourself an easy choice for practice.\\nAs the saying goes, “practice makes perfect.” Start giving yourself simple decisions to make that have minimal consequences. Continue practicing with these small decisions until you can make them in under a minute.\\nSmall decisions include questions like, \\\"What should I have for dinner?\\\" or \\\"Would I rather see a movie or stay at home this weekend?\\\" Generally, these choices do not have long-term consequences and will only affect you or a small group of people.\\n2-2. Create a more advanced situation.\\nOnce you get comfortable with your small choices, put yourself into situations that will require you to make much more daring decisions in a similarly short period of time. The consequences do not need to be anything too grave, but the choices themselves should be more intimidating.\\nFor example, you could buy two tickets to an event before you secure a date or buy the ingredients before you pick a recipe to make. If you're worried about something going to waste, you're more likely to be assertive about making a choice to avoid that waste.\\n2-3. Force yourself to make a decision.\\nWhen you are inevitably forced to make a decision at the drop of a hat, do so. Trust your gut and learn to listen to your instincts. You might stumble a few times, but with each experience, you'll gradually sharpen and improve your intuition.\\nThis is actually a pretty big part of the process. You need to have faith in the idea that you're already capable of making good, split-second decisions. If your initial results suggest otherwise, simply keep at it until you do get good at it and trust that that day will come after enough experience.\\n3. Making Better Decisions\\n3-1. Set deadlines.\\nWhen you are faced with a choice that does not require an instant answer, give yourself a deadline for your decision. If an external deadline already exists, create a separate internal deadline for you to abide by that comes well before the external deadline arrives.\\nMost decisions do not require as much time to make as you might initially assume. Without a deadline, you are more likely to procrastinate on making a decision, which can ultimately lead to a greater sense of uncertainty when you do make a choice.\\n3-2. Get as much information as possible.\\nGather as much information as possible about each possible choice involved in the matter. When you know that you are well informed, you will naturally feel more capable of reaching a decent conclusion.\\nYou need to actively seek out the information you're looking for. Do not sit around and wait for it to drop in front of you. Research the issue at hand from as many different angles as possible in the time that you have.\\nSometimes, you may reach your decision in the midst of your research. If this happens, trust your gut and go with it. If it doesn't, though, review your research after you've gathered as much as you can and navigate through the decision from there.\\n3-3. List the pros and cons.\\nThe practice is an old one, but a good one. Write out the advantages and disadvantages involved with each possibility. Giving yourself a visual representation of your possible consequences can allow you to look at your options more objectively.\\nAlso keep in mind that not all “pros” and “cons” are equal. Your “pro” column may only have one or two points in it while the “con” column has four or five points, but if the two points in the “pro” column are really important and the four in the “con” column are fairly insignificant, the “pros” can still outweigh the “cons.”\\n3-4. Step back from your initial perceptions.\\nIf no option seems like a good one, ask yourself if you are really looking at all possible choices in the matter. If there are perceptions or ideas holding you back from considering other alternatives, knock those down and look at outside options without bias.\\nSome of the limits you naturally set are good, of course. Knocking those limits down long enough to consider the options that lie beyond them won't hurt because you'll still be able to realize that those options are not good. Giving yourself more options does not mean that you'll be blind to bad choices; it only means that you'll have a chance to find a good choice that you never would have considered before.\\n3-5. Imagine the outcome.\\nPicture how things will be if you make a specific decision. Imagine both the positives and the negatives. Do this with each option, then ask yourself which imagined future is ultimately the best one.\\nConsider your feelings, as well. Imagine how you will feel upon choosing one option over another, and ask yourself if one choice will leave you feeling fulfilled while another may leave you feeling empty.\\n3-6. Pick out your priorities.\\nSometimes there is no way to avoid a bit of unpleasantness. When this happens, ask yourself which priorities are the most important. Fixate on satisfying those priorities over the matters you consider less pressing.\\nSometimes, this means defining core values. For instance, when making a choice regarding the future of your relationship, ask yourself what you really find important in a relationship. If sincerity and compassion are more important to you than excitement, you'd be better off with the sincere homebody than the adventurous liar.\\nOther times, this means determining which consequences are of greater value than others. If you need to make a decision on a project and realize that you cannot satisfy both your budget and your quality demands, ask yourself if the budget or the quality is of greater significance for that project.\\n3-7. Reflect on the past.\\nReview your memory and think about any decision you faced in the past that may have been similar to the decision currently in front of you. Think about the choices you made then and ask yourself how they turned out. Mimic the good choices and act oppositely of the bad choices.\\nIf you have a habit of making bad choices, ask yourself what the underlying cause of those bad choices might be. For instance, maybe most of your poor decisions are based on a lust for wealth or power. If that's the case, then factor out those options that would satisfy that craving and consider other alternatives.\\n3-8. Stay in the present.\\nWhile you can reflect on the past to help guide you in the present, ultimately, you need remember that you are currently in the present. Anxieties and fears about things that happened in the past should be left in the past.\\n4. Managing the After Effects\\n4-1. Keep a journal and look back on it.\\nWrite down a record of the major choices you make and the reasoning that went into each choice. When you start to doubt or waver about one of those decisions, read what you wrote about it. Reading the thought process behind your decision can often help strengthen your resolve.\\nYou can also look at this journal during “off” times, when you do not need to make any decision or when the consequences of a past decision no longer weigh on your mind. Read through your entries to see your thought process and examine it objectively. Assess your past choices, asking yourself what leads to success and what leads to failure, and take notes for the future.\\n4-2. Avoid living in the past.\\nWhen a decision turns out poorly, analyze what went wrong, then press forward and move onto the next choice. Regret will not do you any favors. It can't turn back time, but it can hold you back and typically does.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have a tendency to overthink every decision you’re faced with or always put off making decisions for as long as possible, you’re definitely not alone! Being decisive can be scary, but it also makes life so much easier and helps you accomplish more of your goals. The good news is that anyone can learn to be more decisive, and it doesn’t have to be hard. Below we’ve put together some tips to help you get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Training Your Brain\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide to be decisive.\", \"描述\": \"This might seem like circular reasoning, but the fact remains that you must first make the decision to become a more decisive person before you can actually be decisive. If you're naturally indecisive, you will continue to be that way by habit. Becoming decisive will require active, conscious effort.\\nTell yourself that you are decisive—not that you \\\"can be\\\" or \\\"will become\\\" decisive, but that you already \\\"are.\\\" On the flip side, you also need to stop telling yourself that you are indecisive, and you need to stop telling that to other people, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Picture yourself as a decisive person.\", \"描述\": \"Try to imagine it. Ask yourself how it will feel to be more decisive and what you will look like to others once you start taking a more decisive stance on matters. The more you visualize it, the clearer and more familiar the image will become.\\nPay special attention to feelings of self-confidence and signs of respect from other people. If you're naturally pessimistic, it might be difficult to imagine positive results. Force yourself if you have to, though, and don't fixate on worries about things getting messed up or people getting angry at you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop worrying about \\\"bad\\\" decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledge that each decision you make will lead to a learning opportunity, even those decisions that cause seemingly unfavorable outcomes. By learning to see the good in each decision you make, you can become less fearful of those that turn out poorly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be brave in the face of your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes mistakes. Saying so might seem trite, but it's the truth. Acknowledging and accepting this truth will not make you weaker, though. On the contrary, by embracing your imperfection, you can train your mind to stop fearing it. Once you overcome that fear, it will no longer be able to control you and hold you back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Realize that indecisiveness is also a decision.\", \"描述\": \"Something will happen whether you actively choose it or not. In that sense, not making a decision is the same thing as making a decision. By not making the decision yourself, though, you lose control of a situation. Since something always results from each decision making opportunity, you're ultimately better off making the decision and keeping the control than letting it slip out of your hands.\\nFor example, you might be torn between two job opportunities. If you refuse to make a decision about which to choose, one company might withdraw their offer, causing you to choose the other company. The first job might have actually been the better one, but you missed out on it because you did not go through the work of making the choice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Decisiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Throw yourself an easy choice for practice.\", \"描述\": \"As the saying goes, “practice makes perfect.” Start giving yourself simple decisions to make that have minimal consequences. Continue practicing with these small decisions until you can make them in under a minute.\\nSmall decisions include questions like, \\\"What should I have for dinner?\\\" or \\\"Would I rather see a movie or stay at home this weekend?\\\" Generally, these choices do not have long-term consequences and will only affect you or a small group of people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a more advanced situation.\", \"描述\": \"Once you get comfortable with your small choices, put yourself into situations that will require you to make much more daring decisions in a similarly short period of time. The consequences do not need to be anything too grave, but the choices themselves should be more intimidating.\\nFor example, you could buy two tickets to an event before you secure a date or buy the ingredients before you pick a recipe to make. If you're worried about something going to waste, you're more likely to be assertive about making a choice to avoid that waste.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Force yourself to make a decision.\", \"描述\": \"When you are inevitably forced to make a decision at the drop of a hat, do so. Trust your gut and learn to listen to your instincts. You might stumble a few times, but with each experience, you'll gradually sharpen and improve your intuition.\\nThis is actually a pretty big part of the process. You need to have faith in the idea that you're already capable of making good, split-second decisions. If your initial results suggest otherwise, simply keep at it until you do get good at it and trust that that day will come after enough experience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Better Decisions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set deadlines.\", \"描述\": \"When you are faced with a choice that does not require an instant answer, give yourself a deadline for your decision. If an external deadline already exists, create a separate internal deadline for you to abide by that comes well before the external deadline arrives.\\nMost decisions do not require as much time to make as you might initially assume. Without a deadline, you are more likely to procrastinate on making a decision, which can ultimately lead to a greater sense of uncertainty when you do make a choice.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get as much information as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Gather as much information as possible about each possible choice involved in the matter. When you know that you are well informed, you will naturally feel more capable of reaching a decent conclusion.\\nYou need to actively seek out the information you're looking for. Do not sit around and wait for it to drop in front of you. Research the issue at hand from as many different angles as possible in the time that you have.\\nSometimes, you may reach your decision in the midst of your research. If this happens, trust your gut and go with it. If it doesn't, though, review your research after you've gathered as much as you can and navigate through the decision from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"List the pros and cons.\", \"描述\": \"The practice is an old one, but a good one. Write out the advantages and disadvantages involved with each possibility. Giving yourself a visual representation of your possible consequences can allow you to look at your options more objectively.\\nAlso keep in mind that not all “pros” and “cons” are equal. Your “pro” column may only have one or two points in it while the “con” column has four or five points, but if the two points in the “pro” column are really important and the four in the “con” column are fairly insignificant, the “pros” can still outweigh the “cons.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Step back from your initial perceptions.\", \"描述\": \"If no option seems like a good one, ask yourself if you are really looking at all possible choices in the matter. If there are perceptions or ideas holding you back from considering other alternatives, knock those down and look at outside options without bias.\\nSome of the limits you naturally set are good, of course. Knocking those limits down long enough to consider the options that lie beyond them won't hurt because you'll still be able to realize that those options are not good. Giving yourself more options does not mean that you'll be blind to bad choices; it only means that you'll have a chance to find a good choice that you never would have considered before.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Imagine the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"Picture how things will be if you make a specific decision. Imagine both the positives and the negatives. Do this with each option, then ask yourself which imagined future is ultimately the best one.\\nConsider your feelings, as well. Imagine how you will feel upon choosing one option over another, and ask yourself if one choice will leave you feeling fulfilled while another may leave you feeling empty.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pick out your priorities.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes there is no way to avoid a bit of unpleasantness. When this happens, ask yourself which priorities are the most important. Fixate on satisfying those priorities over the matters you consider less pressing.\\nSometimes, this means defining core values. For instance, when making a choice regarding the future of your relationship, ask yourself what you really find important in a relationship. If sincerity and compassion are more important to you than excitement, you'd be better off with the sincere homebody than the adventurous liar.\\nOther times, this means determining which consequences are of greater value than others. If you need to make a decision on a project and realize that you cannot satisfy both your budget and your quality demands, ask yourself if the budget or the quality is of greater significance for that project.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Reflect on the past.\", \"描述\": \"Review your memory and think about any decision you faced in the past that may have been similar to the decision currently in front of you. Think about the choices you made then and ask yourself how they turned out. Mimic the good choices and act oppositely of the bad choices.\\nIf you have a habit of making bad choices, ask yourself what the underlying cause of those bad choices might be. For instance, maybe most of your poor decisions are based on a lust for wealth or power. If that's the case, then factor out those options that would satisfy that craving and consider other alternatives.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Stay in the present.\", \"描述\": \"While you can reflect on the past to help guide you in the present, ultimately, you need remember that you are currently in the present. Anxieties and fears about things that happened in the past should be left in the past.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Managing the After Effects\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal and look back on it.\", \"描述\": \"Write down a record of the major choices you make and the reasoning that went into each choice. When you start to doubt or waver about one of those decisions, read what you wrote about it. Reading the thought process behind your decision can often help strengthen your resolve.\\nYou can also look at this journal during “off” times, when you do not need to make any decision or when the consequences of a past decision no longer weigh on your mind. Read through your entries to see your thought process and examine it objectively. Assess your past choices, asking yourself what leads to success and what leads to failure, and take notes for the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid living in the past.\", \"描述\": \"When a decision turns out poorly, analyze what went wrong, then press forward and move onto the next choice. Regret will not do you any favors. It can't turn back time, but it can hold you back and typically does.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,676 | How to Be Dependable | 1. Changing Your Habits
1-1. Show up on time.
If you’re supposed to be somewhere, aim to be there right on time. It is better to be early than late. If you know you might run into traffic or other obstacles, leave early to give yourself extra time.
Being punctual is one of the best ways to show that you are dependable. Even being just a few minutes late can send the wrong message.
Set alarms on your phone to wake you up in the morning or to remind you when you need to leave.
If you know you need a lot of time in the morning to get ready, make sure that you wake up early enough to get it done.
1-2. Respond to emails and messages quickly.
If you receive an email, phone call, text message, or letter, read it and respond to it within 24 hours. By doing so, you'll make sure that they get the proper response and that you don't forget to reply to important matters.
If someone calls and you’re not available, try sending them an email or text message asking if you can call them back later.
Set aside 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer all of your emails. This will help you answer them if you are busy throughout the day.
1-3. Fix your mistakes in a timely manner.
Occasionally making a mistake doesn’t mean that you are not reliable. Just make sure that you accept responsibility for all of your mistakes and offer to fix them as soon as possible.
For example, if you promised to pick up groceries on the way home and forgot, you might offer to go back out and get them.
If you made an error on a document at work, tell your boss that you will fix it right away.
1-4. Deliver good work every time.
Whether you’re helping your friend assemble a TV stand or preparing a presentation at work, always do your best work. Go above and beyond if possible to show that you can perform good work consistently.
For example, if you are helping someone put up pictures on their wall, take the time to measure out the space and to level out each frame. Don’t just put a nail in the wall and walk away.
1-5. Delegate tasks, when you need to.
It’s hard to be dependable when you’ve taken on too many responsibilities for one person to handle. Don’t be afraid to ask friends, family, or coworkers for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
For example, you might say to your spouse, “Can you pick up the kids from school today? I promised my boss I would get this report done by the end of the day, so I may need to work a little late.”
1-6. Be patient with yourself.
Changing your habits takes time and commitment. In order to change your habits permanently, you will need to keep at it over a long period of time. Studies show that, on average, it takes 66 days of daily, persistent effort to change a habit.
It’s likely that you’ll have setbacks along the way, and that’s ok—just try to identify what caused the setback, so that you can avoid it happening again.
2. Keeping Your Promises
2-1. Agree to do things that you know you can complete.
When you first accept promises, only say yes if you are certain that you can, without a doubt, complete the task. If you are uncertain, ask the other person for more time to think about the request.
Look over your schedule and other commitments. Check to make sure you have time to complete the task.
Ask questions about the task so that you know what you are taking on. When must it be done by? How much time will it take? What exactly do you have to do?
Don't give up another promise to complete a new one. For example, don't promise your coworker that you will fix their computer if it means you will miss your child’s baseball game.
Avoid exaggerating about what you can do. For example, if your boss asks you to complete a report by the end of the week, don’t say “I can have it done in 2 days” if you need more time.
2-2. Learn to say no
Saying no does not make you unreliable. Instead, it shows that you understand the importance of the request. If you don’t have time, energy, or the resources to do something, it is okay to say you can’t do it.
You don’t need to say “no” directly. You can use a softer rejection, such as “I don’t think I can do that” or “I can’t make that promise.”
Don’t make false excuses to get out of something. Be honest about why you can’t do it. For example, instead of lying to your friend that you have an appointment the same day as their move, you can just say something like, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help.”
2-3. Write down your promises in a planner or schedule.
If you’ve got a lot going on, it can be easy to simply forget or lose track of your promises and commitments. Once you have committed to something, write it down. Set aside time to complete it. Use the same planner, calendar, or app to keep track of all of your commitments, so that you have a realistic idea of what you need to do every day.
For example, you might write, "Housesit for Maria next week" or "Deliver the cake to John on the 23rd."
If you made a more abstract promise, such as to be more considerate or less disruptive, you might give yourself a daily reminder, such as "Tell Shona how much she means to me" or "Remember to be quiet when you get home tonight."
Give yourself a timeline to complete the task. You might break up the task a little bit every day or write down the date it is due. If it is on a specific day, block off how much time you will need to prepare and get it done.
2-4. Set SMART goals
It’s easier to manage goals and commitments if you keep them SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Instead of committing to something vague and overwhelming (e.g., “I’m going to be more productive at work”), make a more specific promise that meets these criteria.
For example, instead of setting a general productivity goal, you might say, “I’m going to finish these 2 major reports by the end of this week.”
2-5. Cancel in advance if necessary.
Sometimes, things outside of our control prevent us from keeping our promises. In this case, it is best to give the other person as much time as possible to know. As soon as you know you can’t come through, contact the other person so that they can make other arrangements.
Apologize and explain why you’re not able to do it. For example, you might say, “I know you needed me to run the bake sale table on Saturday, but my husband came down with a cold, and I don’t think I can do it. I am so sorry.”
If possible, suggest someone else who might be able to help. For example, you might say, “I think Sally has a truck that will fit your couch. Do you want me to ask her if she can do it?”
Try not to wait until the night before or day of to tell the other person, unless absolutely necessary.
3. Becoming Trustworthy
3-1. Depend on others.
One of the best ways to show that you can be trusted is to trust other people. By asking them for help, they’ll understand that you trust them, and that can help them learn to trust you.
For example, if you’re struggling with a computer error, don’t pretend that you know how to fix if you don’t. Ask your coworker for help.
If you’re short on money for lunch, ask a friend to chip in and promise to pay them later. Just make sure to follow through and pay them back!
3-2. Build strong relationships with other people.
Trust is a slow process. To develop trust over time, work on creating strong relationships with friends, colleagues, family members, and other loved ones. Be there for them when they need you, and celebrate their successes with them.
Mark down birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates in your calendar so that you don't forget them. Always remember to send a card or gift.
Having strong relationships shows people that others trust you. It also demonstrates that you can develop long-term bonds and promises.
3-3. Reach your own goals.
Consistency is an important way of expressing how reliable you are. Set a goal for yourself and achieve it. Work towards it every day. Completing it will show other people that you can come through on big projects and goals.
For example, if your new year’s resolution is to become fitter, go to the gym 3-5 days a week. Take an exercise class or learn to lift weights. Keep at it until you reach your fitness goals. Others will admire you for your success.
If you keep talking about climbing a mountain, start taking steps to get there. Join a rock climbing gym, train on smaller hikes, or take a vacation out to the mountains.
3-4. Tell the truth when asked.
If someone asks you for your opinion or advice, give them the honest truth. If you lie and they find out, they may no longer ask you to help them or to give them feedback. Remember you can be both honest and polite.
For example, if your friend asks you for constructive criticism on their novel, be honest and thorough. You can still be nice and compliment their work, but make sure that they get the feedback that they want. For example, you might say something like, "Your story is really compelling, and I enjoyed it! I noticed a few plot holes though that I wanted to ask you about."
3-5. Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors.
If someone tells you something personal, private, or confidential, don’t spread it around. Gossiping can be a major breach of trust. If you do it, others may not confide in you as much anymore.
For example, if your sister tells you that she is getting a divorce, don’t tell the rest of the family unless she says that it is okay. She may be waiting to tell other people for a reason.
3-6. Respect other people’s property.
Other people will have an easier time trusting you if you are careful with their things. Always return borrowed items promptly and in good condition. If people know that they can trust you with their possessions, they will be more likely to let you borrow or use their things in the future.
This also goes for money. If someone lends you money, do your best to pay them back as soon as possible or within the agreed-upon timeframe.
Tips
When things don't go as planned, don't blame everything on external forces. Instead, accept responsibility so you can figure out how to be more dependable next time.[18]
X
Expert Source
Leah MorrisLife Coach
Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
It can take time to show to others that you are dependable. Remain consistent with your actions to prove that you can be trusted.[19]
X
Expert Source
Leah MorrisLife Coach
Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
Actions speak louder than words. No matter what you say, it means nothing unless you actually do it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Habits\\n1-1. Show up on time.\\nIf you’re supposed to be somewhere, aim to be there right on time. It is better to be early than late. If you know you might run into traffic or other obstacles, leave early to give yourself extra time.\\nBeing punctual is one of the best ways to show that you are dependable. Even being just a few minutes late can send the wrong message.\\nSet alarms on your phone to wake you up in the morning or to remind you when you need to leave.\\nIf you know you need a lot of time in the morning to get ready, make sure that you wake up early enough to get it done.\\n1-2. Respond to emails and messages quickly.\\nIf you receive an email, phone call, text message, or letter, read it and respond to it within 24 hours. By doing so, you'll make sure that they get the proper response and that you don't forget to reply to important matters.\\nIf someone calls and you’re not available, try sending them an email or text message asking if you can call them back later.\\nSet aside 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer all of your emails. This will help you answer them if you are busy throughout the day.\\n1-3. Fix your mistakes in a timely manner.\\nOccasionally making a mistake doesn’t mean that you are not reliable. Just make sure that you accept responsibility for all of your mistakes and offer to fix them as soon as possible.\\nFor example, if you promised to pick up groceries on the way home and forgot, you might offer to go back out and get them.\\nIf you made an error on a document at work, tell your boss that you will fix it right away.\\n1-4. Deliver good work every time.\\nWhether you’re helping your friend assemble a TV stand or preparing a presentation at work, always do your best work. Go above and beyond if possible to show that you can perform good work consistently.\\nFor example, if you are helping someone put up pictures on their wall, take the time to measure out the space and to level out each frame. Don’t just put a nail in the wall and walk away.\\n1-5. Delegate tasks, when you need to.\\nIt’s hard to be dependable when you’ve taken on too many responsibilities for one person to handle. Don’t be afraid to ask friends, family, or coworkers for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.\\nFor example, you might say to your spouse, “Can you pick up the kids from school today? I promised my boss I would get this report done by the end of the day, so I may need to work a little late.”\\n1-6. Be patient with yourself.\\nChanging your habits takes time and commitment. In order to change your habits permanently, you will need to keep at it over a long period of time. Studies show that, on average, it takes 66 days of daily, persistent effort to change a habit.\\nIt’s likely that you’ll have setbacks along the way, and that’s ok—just try to identify what caused the setback, so that you can avoid it happening again.\\n2. Keeping Your Promises\\n2-1. Agree to do things that you know you can complete.\\nWhen you first accept promises, only say yes if you are certain that you can, without a doubt, complete the task. If you are uncertain, ask the other person for more time to think about the request.\\nLook over your schedule and other commitments. Check to make sure you have time to complete the task.\\nAsk questions about the task so that you know what you are taking on. When must it be done by? How much time will it take? What exactly do you have to do?\\nDon't give up another promise to complete a new one. For example, don't promise your coworker that you will fix their computer if it means you will miss your child’s baseball game.\\nAvoid exaggerating about what you can do. For example, if your boss asks you to complete a report by the end of the week, don’t say “I can have it done in 2 days” if you need more time.\\n2-2. Learn to say no\\nSaying no does not make you unreliable. Instead, it shows that you understand the importance of the request. If you don’t have time, energy, or the resources to do something, it is okay to say you can’t do it.\\nYou don’t need to say “no” directly. You can use a softer rejection, such as “I don’t think I can do that” or “I can’t make that promise.”\\nDon’t make false excuses to get out of something. Be honest about why you can’t do it. For example, instead of lying to your friend that you have an appointment the same day as their move, you can just say something like, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help.”\\n2-3. Write down your promises in a planner or schedule.\\nIf you’ve got a lot going on, it can be easy to simply forget or lose track of your promises and commitments. Once you have committed to something, write it down. Set aside time to complete it. Use the same planner, calendar, or app to keep track of all of your commitments, so that you have a realistic idea of what you need to do every day.\\nFor example, you might write, \\\"Housesit for Maria next week\\\" or \\\"Deliver the cake to John on the 23rd.\\\"\\nIf you made a more abstract promise, such as to be more considerate or less disruptive, you might give yourself a daily reminder, such as \\\"Tell Shona how much she means to me\\\" or \\\"Remember to be quiet when you get home tonight.\\\"\\nGive yourself a timeline to complete the task. You might break up the task a little bit every day or write down the date it is due. If it is on a specific day, block off how much time you will need to prepare and get it done.\\n2-4. Set SMART goals\\nIt’s easier to manage goals and commitments if you keep them SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Instead of committing to something vague and overwhelming (e.g., “I’m going to be more productive at work”), make a more specific promise that meets these criteria.\\nFor example, instead of setting a general productivity goal, you might say, “I’m going to finish these 2 major reports by the end of this week.”\\n2-5. Cancel in advance if necessary.\\nSometimes, things outside of our control prevent us from keeping our promises. In this case, it is best to give the other person as much time as possible to know. As soon as you know you can’t come through, contact the other person so that they can make other arrangements.\\nApologize and explain why you’re not able to do it. For example, you might say, “I know you needed me to run the bake sale table on Saturday, but my husband came down with a cold, and I don’t think I can do it. I am so sorry.”\\nIf possible, suggest someone else who might be able to help. For example, you might say, “I think Sally has a truck that will fit your couch. Do you want me to ask her if she can do it?”\\nTry not to wait until the night before or day of to tell the other person, unless absolutely necessary.\\n3. Becoming Trustworthy\\n3-1. Depend on others.\\nOne of the best ways to show that you can be trusted is to trust other people. By asking them for help, they’ll understand that you trust them, and that can help them learn to trust you.\\nFor example, if you’re struggling with a computer error, don’t pretend that you know how to fix if you don’t. Ask your coworker for help.\\nIf you’re short on money for lunch, ask a friend to chip in and promise to pay them later. Just make sure to follow through and pay them back!\\n3-2. Build strong relationships with other people.\\nTrust is a slow process. To develop trust over time, work on creating strong relationships with friends, colleagues, family members, and other loved ones. Be there for them when they need you, and celebrate their successes with them.\\nMark down birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates in your calendar so that you don't forget them. Always remember to send a card or gift.\\nHaving strong relationships shows people that others trust you. It also demonstrates that you can develop long-term bonds and promises.\\n3-3. Reach your own goals.\\nConsistency is an important way of expressing how reliable you are. Set a goal for yourself and achieve it. Work towards it every day. Completing it will show other people that you can come through on big projects and goals.\\nFor example, if your new year’s resolution is to become fitter, go to the gym 3-5 days a week. Take an exercise class or learn to lift weights. Keep at it until you reach your fitness goals. Others will admire you for your success.\\nIf you keep talking about climbing a mountain, start taking steps to get there. Join a rock climbing gym, train on smaller hikes, or take a vacation out to the mountains.\\n3-4. Tell the truth when asked.\\nIf someone asks you for your opinion or advice, give them the honest truth. If you lie and they find out, they may no longer ask you to help them or to give them feedback. Remember you can be both honest and polite.\\nFor example, if your friend asks you for constructive criticism on their novel, be honest and thorough. You can still be nice and compliment their work, but make sure that they get the feedback that they want. For example, you might say something like, \\\"Your story is really compelling, and I enjoyed it! I noticed a few plot holes though that I wanted to ask you about.\\\"\\n3-5. Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors.\\nIf someone tells you something personal, private, or confidential, don’t spread it around. Gossiping can be a major breach of trust. If you do it, others may not confide in you as much anymore.\\nFor example, if your sister tells you that she is getting a divorce, don’t tell the rest of the family unless she says that it is okay. She may be waiting to tell other people for a reason.\\n3-6. Respect other people’s property.\\nOther people will have an easier time trusting you if you are careful with their things. Always return borrowed items promptly and in good condition. If people know that they can trust you with their possessions, they will be more likely to let you borrow or use their things in the future.\\nThis also goes for money. If someone lends you money, do your best to pay them back as soon as possible or within the agreed-upon timeframe.\\nTips\\nWhen things don't go as planned, don't blame everything on external forces. Instead, accept responsibility so you can figure out how to be more dependable next time.[18]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLeah MorrisLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 21 August 2020.\\nIt can take time to show to others that you are dependable. Remain consistent with your actions to prove that you can be trusted.[19]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLeah MorrisLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 21 August 2020.\\nActions speak louder than words. No matter what you say, it means nothing unless you actually do it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To be more dependable is a noble goal. It requires you to be reliable, consistent, and steady, even in difficult situations. To reach this goal, make sure that you deliver on your promises in a timely manner. Consider carefully what promises you make, and always come through on them. In the end, your actions will show how trustworthy you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show up on time.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re supposed to be somewhere, aim to be there right on time. It is better to be early than late. If you know you might run into traffic or other obstacles, leave early to give yourself extra time.\\nBeing punctual is one of the best ways to show that you are dependable. Even being just a few minutes late can send the wrong message.\\nSet alarms on your phone to wake you up in the morning or to remind you when you need to leave.\\nIf you know you need a lot of time in the morning to get ready, make sure that you wake up early enough to get it done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respond to emails and messages quickly.\", \"描述\": \"If you receive an email, phone call, text message, or letter, read it and respond to it within 24 hours. By doing so, you'll make sure that they get the proper response and that you don't forget to reply to important matters.\\nIf someone calls and you’re not available, try sending them an email or text message asking if you can call them back later.\\nSet aside 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer all of your emails. This will help you answer them if you are busy throughout the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fix your mistakes in a timely manner.\", \"描述\": \"Occasionally making a mistake doesn’t mean that you are not reliable. Just make sure that you accept responsibility for all of your mistakes and offer to fix them as soon as possible.\\nFor example, if you promised to pick up groceries on the way home and forgot, you might offer to go back out and get them.\\nIf you made an error on a document at work, tell your boss that you will fix it right away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Deliver good work every time.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re helping your friend assemble a TV stand or preparing a presentation at work, always do your best work. Go above and beyond if possible to show that you can perform good work consistently.\\nFor example, if you are helping someone put up pictures on their wall, take the time to measure out the space and to level out each frame. Don’t just put a nail in the wall and walk away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Delegate tasks, when you need to.\", \"描述\": \"It’s hard to be dependable when you’ve taken on too many responsibilities for one person to handle. Don’t be afraid to ask friends, family, or coworkers for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.\\nFor example, you might say to your spouse, “Can you pick up the kids from school today? I promised my boss I would get this report done by the end of the day, so I may need to work a little late.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Changing your habits takes time and commitment. In order to change your habits permanently, you will need to keep at it over a long period of time. Studies show that, on average, it takes 66 days of daily, persistent effort to change a habit.\\nIt’s likely that you’ll have setbacks along the way, and that’s ok—just try to identify what caused the setback, so that you can avoid it happening again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Promises\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Agree to do things that you know you can complete.\", \"描述\": \"When you first accept promises, only say yes if you are certain that you can, without a doubt, complete the task. If you are uncertain, ask the other person for more time to think about the request.\\nLook over your schedule and other commitments. Check to make sure you have time to complete the task.\\nAsk questions about the task so that you know what you are taking on. When must it be done by? How much time will it take? What exactly do you have to do?\\nDon't give up another promise to complete a new one. For example, don't promise your coworker that you will fix their computer if it means you will miss your child’s baseball game.\\nAvoid exaggerating about what you can do. For example, if your boss asks you to complete a report by the end of the week, don’t say “I can have it done in 2 days” if you need more time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to say no\", \"描述\": \"Saying no does not make you unreliable. Instead, it shows that you understand the importance of the request. If you don’t have time, energy, or the resources to do something, it is okay to say you can’t do it.\\nYou don’t need to say “no” directly. You can use a softer rejection, such as “I don’t think I can do that” or “I can’t make that promise.”\\nDon’t make false excuses to get out of something. Be honest about why you can’t do it. For example, instead of lying to your friend that you have an appointment the same day as their move, you can just say something like, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down your promises in a planner or schedule.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve got a lot going on, it can be easy to simply forget or lose track of your promises and commitments. Once you have committed to something, write it down. Set aside time to complete it. Use the same planner, calendar, or app to keep track of all of your commitments, so that you have a realistic idea of what you need to do every day.\\nFor example, you might write, \\\"Housesit for Maria next week\\\" or \\\"Deliver the cake to John on the 23rd.\\\"\\nIf you made a more abstract promise, such as to be more considerate or less disruptive, you might give yourself a daily reminder, such as \\\"Tell Shona how much she means to me\\\" or \\\"Remember to be quiet when you get home tonight.\\\"\\nGive yourself a timeline to complete the task. You might break up the task a little bit every day or write down the date it is due. If it is on a specific day, block off how much time you will need to prepare and get it done.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set SMART goals\", \"描述\": \"It’s easier to manage goals and commitments if you keep them SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Instead of committing to something vague and overwhelming (e.g., “I’m going to be more productive at work”), make a more specific promise that meets these criteria.\\nFor example, instead of setting a general productivity goal, you might say, “I’m going to finish these 2 major reports by the end of this week.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cancel in advance if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, things outside of our control prevent us from keeping our promises. In this case, it is best to give the other person as much time as possible to know. As soon as you know you can’t come through, contact the other person so that they can make other arrangements.\\nApologize and explain why you’re not able to do it. For example, you might say, “I know you needed me to run the bake sale table on Saturday, but my husband came down with a cold, and I don’t think I can do it. I am so sorry.”\\nIf possible, suggest someone else who might be able to help. For example, you might say, “I think Sally has a truck that will fit your couch. Do you want me to ask her if she can do it?”\\nTry not to wait until the night before or day of to tell the other person, unless absolutely necessary.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Becoming Trustworthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Depend on others.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to show that you can be trusted is to trust other people. By asking them for help, they’ll understand that you trust them, and that can help them learn to trust you.\\nFor example, if you’re struggling with a computer error, don’t pretend that you know how to fix if you don’t. Ask your coworker for help.\\nIf you’re short on money for lunch, ask a friend to chip in and promise to pay them later. Just make sure to follow through and pay them back!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build strong relationships with other people.\", \"描述\": \"Trust is a slow process. To develop trust over time, work on creating strong relationships with friends, colleagues, family members, and other loved ones. Be there for them when they need you, and celebrate their successes with them.\\nMark down birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates in your calendar so that you don't forget them. Always remember to send a card or gift.\\nHaving strong relationships shows people that others trust you. It also demonstrates that you can develop long-term bonds and promises.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reach your own goals.\", \"描述\": \"Consistency is an important way of expressing how reliable you are. Set a goal for yourself and achieve it. Work towards it every day. Completing it will show other people that you can come through on big projects and goals.\\nFor example, if your new year’s resolution is to become fitter, go to the gym 3-5 days a week. Take an exercise class or learn to lift weights. Keep at it until you reach your fitness goals. Others will admire you for your success.\\nIf you keep talking about climbing a mountain, start taking steps to get there. Join a rock climbing gym, train on smaller hikes, or take a vacation out to the mountains.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth when asked.\", \"描述\": \"If someone asks you for your opinion or advice, give them the honest truth. If you lie and they find out, they may no longer ask you to help them or to give them feedback. Remember you can be both honest and polite.\\nFor example, if your friend asks you for constructive criticism on their novel, be honest and thorough. You can still be nice and compliment their work, but make sure that they get the feedback that they want. For example, you might say something like, \\\"Your story is really compelling, and I enjoyed it! I noticed a few plot holes though that I wanted to ask you about.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors.\", \"描述\": \"If someone tells you something personal, private, or confidential, don’t spread it around. Gossiping can be a major breach of trust. If you do it, others may not confide in you as much anymore.\\nFor example, if your sister tells you that she is getting a divorce, don’t tell the rest of the family unless she says that it is okay. She may be waiting to tell other people for a reason.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respect other people’s property.\", \"描述\": \"Other people will have an easier time trusting you if you are careful with their things. Always return borrowed items promptly and in good condition. If people know that they can trust you with their possessions, they will be more likely to let you borrow or use their things in the future.\\nThis also goes for money. If someone lends you money, do your best to pay them back as soon as possible or within the agreed-upon timeframe.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When things don't go as planned, don't blame everything on external forces. Instead, accept responsibility so you can figure out how to be more dependable next time.[18]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLeah MorrisLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 21 August 2020.\\n\", \"It can take time to show to others that you are dependable. Remain consistent with your actions to prove that you can be trusted.[19]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLeah MorrisLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 21 August 2020.\\n\", \"Actions speak louder than words. No matter what you say, it means nothing unless you actually do it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,677 | How to Be Desirable | 1. Looking Desirable
1-1. Put effort into basic grooming and your daily appearance.
You don’t have to go all-out every day, but try to avoid leaving the house with wet hair, sweat pants, or mismatched socks! Take a few extra minutes to pick out a clean, unwrinkled shirt, style your hair, shave your face, apply natural-looking makeup, and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.
Potential romantic partners typically see taking pride in your appearance as an attractive quality.
If you're heading to a job interview, style your hair neatly and wear unwrinkled, professional clothes so that you look put-together and responsible to your potential employer.
If you're trying to make new friends, feeling well-groomed can give you a little boost of confidence.
1-2. Wear clothes that fit well and accentuate your best physical traits.
Baggy clothes can look cool, but fitted clothes that show off your best features tend to get more attention and can also make you look more polished. That doesn't mean you have to wear tight jeans, short skirts, and low-cut tops every day, though! Instead, go with clothes that play up your best features.
For example, if your deep blue eyes are your favorite physical trait, wear blue shirts and jackets that accentuate your eye color even more.
If you’re proud of your toned arms, rock a tank top or fitted T-shirt to show them off!
1-3. Choose clothing that reflects how you want to be desired.
If you're looking for a new relationship and you want to appear desirable to potential dates, tailor your clothing choices to that specific scenario. If you're trying to nail an awesome new job or asking for a raise, wear something that makes sense for those expectations.
For example, if you're looking for romance, you might wear something that shows off your body, like skinny jeans or a knit dress. Or you might wear a bright or eye-catching color, like red, to get noticed more quickly!
If you're going to a job interview, you want to be desired for your professionalism and skills. You might wear a nice blazer, collared shirt, and dress pants.
If you're trying to make a new friend, wear styles or brands you've seen them wear in the past. Having something in common can help you start a conversation or give you something to chat about!
1-4. Maintain a cheerful expression and smile often to attract others.
Humans are naturally drawn to positive vibes and there's no easier way to convey positivity than with a genuine smile and cheerful expression! Studies show that simply smiling in a genuine way can draw people to you like a magnet. The bigger the smile, the more attractive a person tends to look to others!
If you want to look desirable in the dating world, skip the aloof act and try smiling directly at anyone who interests you.
A genuine smile can communicate to an employer that you're positive and easy to work with, which are both highly desirable qualities in an employee!
If you're meeting new people, a friendly smile will automatically cast a positive light on you and can break the ice before you introduce yourself.
1-5. Exercise regularly to look and feel great about yourself.
Exercising is great for your physical health, but it can also boost your confidence in a major way. If you feel good about your physical fitness, you will carry yourself in a more confident way, have more energy, and put more thought into your overall appearance.
There is no physical ideal you need to aspire to! A healthy look is attractive to most people.
Most romance seekers are looking for a mate who is comfortable in their own skin. Feeling physically fit can definitely help you feel confident about your body and the way you look.
Being in good shape communicates to others that you care about your own health. It increases energy and alertness, which is great if you're trying to impress a potential employer.
If you believe you have any visual shortcomings, try to really show all the other awesome and amazing characteristics that you bring to the table!
1-6. Maintain good posture
Standing up straight with your shoulders back projects two highly desirable traits: confidence and good physical health. Don't slump your back or shoulders while you’re standing or sitting. Stand tall, angle your chin up, and avoid dropping your chin to your chest.
Looking confident will impress potential romantic partners, friends, and employers alike.
Consider consulting a physical therapist if you find it hard to change your posture on your own.
2. Attracting Others with Your Personality
2-1. Act confident
Stand up straight, look people in the eye when you talk to them, and don't be afraid to start conversations! Even if you don’t feel all that confident on the inside, do your best to project confidence and other people will perceive you that way. Try to avoid being self-deprecating when you’re chatting with others.
You might walk up to a cute guy, smile, and say, “Hi! So you caught my eye from across the room and I couldn’t help but come over and introduce myself.”
If you're trying to make a new friend, you could say, "I just had to walk over and tell you how awesome your outfit looks. I'm really into fashion and your look is so stylish! Who's your favorite designer?"
Keep in mind there's a fine line between appearing confident and seeming arrogant. Try to avoid bragging and over-exaggerating your importance.
2-2. Ask questions and become a great conversationalist.
People love to engage, and asking someone thoughtful questions about their life and opinions tends to impress them. It can also make you seem more interesting and pleasant to be around! Stick with open-ended questions and stay away from simple "yes" or "no" inquiries. Keep the conversation light and avoid prying or overly personal questions.
If you're chatting with someone you're interested in dating, you might ask them questions like, "What was it like growing up in such a big city?" or "What are your favorite things to do during the weekend?" Use their answers to keep the conversation going!
If you're at a job interview, be sure to ask questions that are work-related to show how interested you are in the job. For example, you might ask, "What is the company culture like here?" or "What tasks would I be responsible for each day?"
If you're asked serious questions at a job interview, reply in a tone that matches the questions. You don't want to seem flippant about important questions or serious topics.
2-3. Be passionate about something to show your depth.
Employers, family members, friends, and partners appreciate someone who has interests and life goals. Whether it’s work, volunteering, a hobby, or sports, being passionate about something in your life will set you apart from others.
For example, having unique skills can make you seem more interesting to potential romantic partners. You might take a cooking class, learn web design, or get into rock climbing!
If you want to look desirable on your resume, apply for internships that allow you to learn crucial job skills like communication, punctuality, and time management. Skills like these are highly sought after by employers.
2-4. Work on projecting a positive vibe.
A positive attitude tends to attract all sorts of people, including friends, employers, and potential partners. Try to see the positive side of things in all situations. Avoid deeply negative conversation topics and try to keep things light in most situations.
Don't gossip or talk badly about others, which can come off as quite unattractive.
If you're chatting with a cute guy, don't bring up something depressing you read in the news earlier. Talk about something interesting that you learned recently or tell a funny story.
Avoid bringing up controversial topics like religion and politics in a job interview or work setting. You should also change your tone to match the seriousness of questions you're asked at a job interview, but maintain a positive attitude during the conversation.
2-5. Treat others with kindness to show your empathetic side.
Empathy is a highly desirable trait! Treat everyone you meet as an equal. If you see someone struggling and you’re in a position to help them out, do it! Be willing to truly listen to people when they talk to you about their problems, and offer your support any way you can.
For example, if you see the new girl at school struggling to find her classes, offer to help her out and show her around. You just might make a new friend!
If your crush seems upset and it's appropriate for you to do so, consider pulling him off to the side and asking him if he's okay. If he replies with "I'm fine," you can just say, "Okay, you just seem a little upset. I'm available if you ever need someone to talk to."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Desirable\\n1-1. Put effort into basic grooming and your daily appearance.\\nYou don’t have to go all-out every day, but try to avoid leaving the house with wet hair, sweat pants, or mismatched socks! Take a few extra minutes to pick out a clean, unwrinkled shirt, style your hair, shave your face, apply natural-looking makeup, and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.\\nPotential romantic partners typically see taking pride in your appearance as an attractive quality.\\nIf you're heading to a job interview, style your hair neatly and wear unwrinkled, professional clothes so that you look put-together and responsible to your potential employer.\\nIf you're trying to make new friends, feeling well-groomed can give you a little boost of confidence.\\n1-2. Wear clothes that fit well and accentuate your best physical traits.\\nBaggy clothes can look cool, but fitted clothes that show off your best features tend to get more attention and can also make you look more polished. That doesn't mean you have to wear tight jeans, short skirts, and low-cut tops every day, though! Instead, go with clothes that play up your best features.\\nFor example, if your deep blue eyes are your favorite physical trait, wear blue shirts and jackets that accentuate your eye color even more.\\nIf you’re proud of your toned arms, rock a tank top or fitted T-shirt to show them off!\\n1-3. Choose clothing that reflects how you want to be desired.\\nIf you're looking for a new relationship and you want to appear desirable to potential dates, tailor your clothing choices to that specific scenario. If you're trying to nail an awesome new job or asking for a raise, wear something that makes sense for those expectations.\\nFor example, if you're looking for romance, you might wear something that shows off your body, like skinny jeans or a knit dress. Or you might wear a bright or eye-catching color, like red, to get noticed more quickly!\\nIf you're going to a job interview, you want to be desired for your professionalism and skills. You might wear a nice blazer, collared shirt, and dress pants.\\nIf you're trying to make a new friend, wear styles or brands you've seen them wear in the past. Having something in common can help you start a conversation or give you something to chat about!\\n1-4. Maintain a cheerful expression and smile often to attract others.\\nHumans are naturally drawn to positive vibes and there's no easier way to convey positivity than with a genuine smile and cheerful expression! Studies show that simply smiling in a genuine way can draw people to you like a magnet. The bigger the smile, the more attractive a person tends to look to others!\\nIf you want to look desirable in the dating world, skip the aloof act and try smiling directly at anyone who interests you.\\nA genuine smile can communicate to an employer that you're positive and easy to work with, which are both highly desirable qualities in an employee!\\nIf you're meeting new people, a friendly smile will automatically cast a positive light on you and can break the ice before you introduce yourself.\\n1-5. Exercise regularly to look and feel great about yourself.\\nExercising is great for your physical health, but it can also boost your confidence in a major way. If you feel good about your physical fitness, you will carry yourself in a more confident way, have more energy, and put more thought into your overall appearance.\\nThere is no physical ideal you need to aspire to! A healthy look is attractive to most people.\\nMost romance seekers are looking for a mate who is comfortable in their own skin. Feeling physically fit can definitely help you feel confident about your body and the way you look.\\nBeing in good shape communicates to others that you care about your own health. It increases energy and alertness, which is great if you're trying to impress a potential employer.\\nIf you believe you have any visual shortcomings, try to really show all the other awesome and amazing characteristics that you bring to the table!\\n1-6. Maintain good posture\\nStanding up straight with your shoulders back projects two highly desirable traits: confidence and good physical health. Don't slump your back or shoulders while you’re standing or sitting. Stand tall, angle your chin up, and avoid dropping your chin to your chest.\\nLooking confident will impress potential romantic partners, friends, and employers alike.\\nConsider consulting a physical therapist if you find it hard to change your posture on your own.\\n2. Attracting Others with Your Personality\\n2-1. Act confident\\nStand up straight, look people in the eye when you talk to them, and don't be afraid to start conversations! Even if you don’t feel all that confident on the inside, do your best to project confidence and other people will perceive you that way. Try to avoid being self-deprecating when you’re chatting with others.\\nYou might walk up to a cute guy, smile, and say, “Hi! So you caught my eye from across the room and I couldn’t help but come over and introduce myself.”\\nIf you're trying to make a new friend, you could say, \\\"I just had to walk over and tell you how awesome your outfit looks. I'm really into fashion and your look is so stylish! Who's your favorite designer?\\\"\\nKeep in mind there's a fine line between appearing confident and seeming arrogant. Try to avoid bragging and over-exaggerating your importance.\\n2-2. Ask questions and become a great conversationalist.\\nPeople love to engage, and asking someone thoughtful questions about their life and opinions tends to impress them. It can also make you seem more interesting and pleasant to be around! Stick with open-ended questions and stay away from simple \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" inquiries. Keep the conversation light and avoid prying or overly personal questions.\\nIf you're chatting with someone you're interested in dating, you might ask them questions like, \\\"What was it like growing up in such a big city?\\\" or \\\"What are your favorite things to do during the weekend?\\\" Use their answers to keep the conversation going!\\nIf you're at a job interview, be sure to ask questions that are work-related to show how interested you are in the job. For example, you might ask, \\\"What is the company culture like here?\\\" or \\\"What tasks would I be responsible for each day?\\\"\\nIf you're asked serious questions at a job interview, reply in a tone that matches the questions. You don't want to seem flippant about important questions or serious topics.\\n2-3. Be passionate about something to show your depth.\\nEmployers, family members, friends, and partners appreciate someone who has interests and life goals. Whether it’s work, volunteering, a hobby, or sports, being passionate about something in your life will set you apart from others.\\nFor example, having unique skills can make you seem more interesting to potential romantic partners. You might take a cooking class, learn web design, or get into rock climbing!\\nIf you want to look desirable on your resume, apply for internships that allow you to learn crucial job skills like communication, punctuality, and time management. Skills like these are highly sought after by employers.\\n2-4. Work on projecting a positive vibe.\\nA positive attitude tends to attract all sorts of people, including friends, employers, and potential partners. Try to see the positive side of things in all situations. Avoid deeply negative conversation topics and try to keep things light in most situations.\\nDon't gossip or talk badly about others, which can come off as quite unattractive.\\nIf you're chatting with a cute guy, don't bring up something depressing you read in the news earlier. Talk about something interesting that you learned recently or tell a funny story.\\nAvoid bringing up controversial topics like religion and politics in a job interview or work setting. You should also change your tone to match the seriousness of questions you're asked at a job interview, but maintain a positive attitude during the conversation.\\n2-5. Treat others with kindness to show your empathetic side.\\nEmpathy is a highly desirable trait! Treat everyone you meet as an equal. If you see someone struggling and you’re in a position to help them out, do it! Be willing to truly listen to people when they talk to you about their problems, and offer your support any way you can.\\nFor example, if you see the new girl at school struggling to find her classes, offer to help her out and show her around. You just might make a new friend!\\nIf your crush seems upset and it's appropriate for you to do so, consider pulling him off to the side and asking him if he's okay. If he replies with \\\"I'm fine,\\\" you can just say, \\\"Okay, you just seem a little upset. I'm available if you ever need someone to talk to.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone wants to be desirable! Whether you’re interested in attracting a romantic partner, making a new friend, or trying to nail a job interview, making yourself desirable is the key to success. Being desirable usually depends on two main factors: your physical appearance and your personality. If you want to feel more desirable, try making positive changes that affect the way you present yourself and interact with others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Desirable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put effort into basic grooming and your daily appearance.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to go all-out every day, but try to avoid leaving the house with wet hair, sweat pants, or mismatched socks! Take a few extra minutes to pick out a clean, unwrinkled shirt, style your hair, shave your face, apply natural-looking makeup, and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.\\nPotential romantic partners typically see taking pride in your appearance as an attractive quality.\\nIf you're heading to a job interview, style your hair neatly and wear unwrinkled, professional clothes so that you look put-together and responsible to your potential employer.\\nIf you're trying to make new friends, feeling well-groomed can give you a little boost of confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that fit well and accentuate your best physical traits.\", \"描述\": \"Baggy clothes can look cool, but fitted clothes that show off your best features tend to get more attention and can also make you look more polished. That doesn't mean you have to wear tight jeans, short skirts, and low-cut tops every day, though! Instead, go with clothes that play up your best features.\\nFor example, if your deep blue eyes are your favorite physical trait, wear blue shirts and jackets that accentuate your eye color even more.\\nIf you’re proud of your toned arms, rock a tank top or fitted T-shirt to show them off!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose clothing that reflects how you want to be desired.\", \"描述\": \"If you're looking for a new relationship and you want to appear desirable to potential dates, tailor your clothing choices to that specific scenario. If you're trying to nail an awesome new job or asking for a raise, wear something that makes sense for those expectations.\\nFor example, if you're looking for romance, you might wear something that shows off your body, like skinny jeans or a knit dress. Or you might wear a bright or eye-catching color, like red, to get noticed more quickly!\\nIf you're going to a job interview, you want to be desired for your professionalism and skills. You might wear a nice blazer, collared shirt, and dress pants.\\nIf you're trying to make a new friend, wear styles or brands you've seen them wear in the past. Having something in common can help you start a conversation or give you something to chat about!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a cheerful expression and smile often to attract others.\", \"描述\": \"Humans are naturally drawn to positive vibes and there's no easier way to convey positivity than with a genuine smile and cheerful expression! Studies show that simply smiling in a genuine way can draw people to you like a magnet. The bigger the smile, the more attractive a person tends to look to others!\\nIf you want to look desirable in the dating world, skip the aloof act and try smiling directly at anyone who interests you.\\nA genuine smile can communicate to an employer that you're positive and easy to work with, which are both highly desirable qualities in an employee!\\nIf you're meeting new people, a friendly smile will automatically cast a positive light on you and can break the ice before you introduce yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly to look and feel great about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Exercising is great for your physical health, but it can also boost your confidence in a major way. If you feel good about your physical fitness, you will carry yourself in a more confident way, have more energy, and put more thought into your overall appearance.\\nThere is no physical ideal you need to aspire to! A healthy look is attractive to most people.\\nMost romance seekers are looking for a mate who is comfortable in their own skin. Feeling physically fit can definitely help you feel confident about your body and the way you look.\\nBeing in good shape communicates to others that you care about your own health. It increases energy and alertness, which is great if you're trying to impress a potential employer.\\nIf you believe you have any visual shortcomings, try to really show all the other awesome and amazing characteristics that you bring to the table!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture\", \"描述\": \"Standing up straight with your shoulders back projects two highly desirable traits: confidence and good physical health. Don't slump your back or shoulders while you’re standing or sitting. Stand tall, angle your chin up, and avoid dropping your chin to your chest.\\nLooking confident will impress potential romantic partners, friends, and employers alike.\\nConsider consulting a physical therapist if you find it hard to change your posture on your own.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attracting Others with Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act confident\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight, look people in the eye when you talk to them, and don't be afraid to start conversations! Even if you don’t feel all that confident on the inside, do your best to project confidence and other people will perceive you that way. Try to avoid being self-deprecating when you’re chatting with others.\\nYou might walk up to a cute guy, smile, and say, “Hi! So you caught my eye from across the room and I couldn’t help but come over and introduce myself.”\\nIf you're trying to make a new friend, you could say, \\\"I just had to walk over and tell you how awesome your outfit looks. I'm really into fashion and your look is so stylish! Who's your favorite designer?\\\"\\nKeep in mind there's a fine line between appearing confident and seeming arrogant. Try to avoid bragging and over-exaggerating your importance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask questions and become a great conversationalist.\", \"描述\": \"People love to engage, and asking someone thoughtful questions about their life and opinions tends to impress them. It can also make you seem more interesting and pleasant to be around! Stick with open-ended questions and stay away from simple \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" inquiries. Keep the conversation light and avoid prying or overly personal questions.\\nIf you're chatting with someone you're interested in dating, you might ask them questions like, \\\"What was it like growing up in such a big city?\\\" or \\\"What are your favorite things to do during the weekend?\\\" Use their answers to keep the conversation going!\\nIf you're at a job interview, be sure to ask questions that are work-related to show how interested you are in the job. For example, you might ask, \\\"What is the company culture like here?\\\" or \\\"What tasks would I be responsible for each day?\\\"\\nIf you're asked serious questions at a job interview, reply in a tone that matches the questions. You don't want to seem flippant about important questions or serious topics.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be passionate about something to show your depth.\", \"描述\": \"Employers, family members, friends, and partners appreciate someone who has interests and life goals. Whether it’s work, volunteering, a hobby, or sports, being passionate about something in your life will set you apart from others.\\nFor example, having unique skills can make you seem more interesting to potential romantic partners. You might take a cooking class, learn web design, or get into rock climbing!\\nIf you want to look desirable on your resume, apply for internships that allow you to learn crucial job skills like communication, punctuality, and time management. Skills like these are highly sought after by employers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on projecting a positive vibe.\", \"描述\": \"A positive attitude tends to attract all sorts of people, including friends, employers, and potential partners. Try to see the positive side of things in all situations. Avoid deeply negative conversation topics and try to keep things light in most situations.\\nDon't gossip or talk badly about others, which can come off as quite unattractive.\\nIf you're chatting with a cute guy, don't bring up something depressing you read in the news earlier. Talk about something interesting that you learned recently or tell a funny story.\\nAvoid bringing up controversial topics like religion and politics in a job interview or work setting. You should also change your tone to match the seriousness of questions you're asked at a job interview, but maintain a positive attitude during the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Treat others with kindness to show your empathetic side.\", \"描述\": \"Empathy is a highly desirable trait! Treat everyone you meet as an equal. If you see someone struggling and you’re in a position to help them out, do it! Be willing to truly listen to people when they talk to you about their problems, and offer your support any way you can.\\nFor example, if you see the new girl at school struggling to find her classes, offer to help her out and show her around. You just might make a new friend!\\nIf your crush seems upset and it's appropriate for you to do so, consider pulling him off to the side and asking him if he's okay. If he replies with \\\"I'm fine,\\\" you can just say, \\\"Okay, you just seem a little upset. I'm available if you ever need someone to talk to.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
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3,678 | How to Be Determined | 1. Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals
1-1. Complete the best possible future self exercise.
It’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that.
Spend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future?
Try not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.
1-2. Create a few specific goals.
Develop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals.
For instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii.
You might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal.
Focusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.
1-3. Break your goals down.
After you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way.
For example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.
You might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first.
For example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.
1-4. Set challenging deadlines.
Creating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal.
For instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months.
Your deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.
1-5. Prioritize your goals.
If you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them.
Prioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, "I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning." You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.
1-6. Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment.
Regularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting.
For example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.
2. Building Good Habits
2-1. Eliminate negative thinking
This is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.
Learn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up," change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, "I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them."
2-2. Play to your strengths
Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals.
Have friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths.
For example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).
2-3. Build your self-confidence
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities.
To portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are.
To feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.
2-4. Practice flexibility.
Flexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too.
One of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off.
Switching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.
2-5. Make healthy choices
It’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination.
Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.
Eat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.
Exercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.
3. Maintaining Your Determination
3-1. Learn from obstacles
People who use their determination do not use the term "failure." Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and "failures" are actually opportunities.
Re-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities.
Another method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed "failure." What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the "failure" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?
3-2. Find creative solutions.
Thinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered.
Daydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time.
Ask yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?
3-3. Use visualization.
Although it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards.
The more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them.
For instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing "congratulations" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.
3-4. Create a vision board.
A vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward.
Look through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career.
After assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!
3-5. Reward yourself.
Celebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals.
For example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant.
Rewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal).
Keep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.
3-6. Take breaks to re-energize.
Sometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals.
A break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway.
For a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals\\n1-1. Complete the best possible future self exercise.\\nIt’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that.\\nSpend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future?\\nTry not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.\\n1-2. Create a few specific goals.\\nDevelop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals.\\nFor instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii.\\nYou might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal.\\nFocusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.\\n1-3. Break your goals down.\\nAfter you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way.\\nFor example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.\\nYou might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first.\\nFor example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.\\n1-4. Set challenging deadlines.\\nCreating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal.\\nFor instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months.\\nYour deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.\\n1-5. Prioritize your goals.\\nIf you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them.\\nPrioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, \\\"I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning.\\\" You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.\\n1-6. Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment.\\nRegularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting.\\nFor example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.\\n2. Building Good Habits\\n2-1. Eliminate negative thinking\\nThis is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.\\nLearn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking \\\"I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up,\\\" change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, \\\"I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them.\\\"\\n2-2. Play to your strengths\\nOften, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals.\\nHave friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths.\\nFor example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).\\n2-3. Build your self-confidence\\nConfidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities.\\nTo portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are.\\nTo feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.\\n2-4. Practice flexibility.\\nFlexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too.\\nOne of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off.\\nSwitching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.\\n2-5. Make healthy choices\\nIt’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination.\\nTry to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.\\nEat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.\\nExercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.\\n3. Maintaining Your Determination\\n3-1. Learn from obstacles\\nPeople who use their determination do not use the term \\\"failure.\\\" Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and \\\"failures\\\" are actually opportunities.\\nRe-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities.\\nAnother method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed \\\"failure.\\\" What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the \\\"failure\\\" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?\\n3-2. Find creative solutions.\\nThinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered.\\n\\nDaydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time.\\nAsk yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?\\n3-3. Use visualization.\\nAlthough it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards.\\nThe more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them.\\nFor instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing \\\"congratulations\\\" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.\\n3-4. Create a vision board.\\nA vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward.\\nLook through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career.\\nAfter assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!\\n3-5. Reward yourself.\\nCelebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals.\\nFor example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant.\\nRewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal).\\nKeep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.\\n3-6. Take breaks to re-energize.\\nSometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals.\\nA break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway.\\nFor a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Determination is a skill that can be learned! Start by figuring out what you want. Then, create healthy habits that increase your chances of reaching your goals. Stick with your determination over the long run by using strategies to overcome obstacles and keep your motivation strong.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Complete the best possible future self exercise.\", \"描述\": \"It’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that.\\nSpend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future?\\nTry not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a few specific goals.\", \"描述\": \"Develop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals.\\nFor instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii.\\nYou might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal.\\nFocusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break your goals down.\", \"描述\": \"After you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way.\\nFor example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.\\nYou might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first.\\nFor example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set challenging deadlines.\", \"描述\": \"Creating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal.\\nFor instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months.\\nYour deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your goals.\", \"描述\": \"If you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them.\\nPrioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, \\\"I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning.\\\" You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment.\", \"描述\": \"Regularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting.\\nFor example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Good Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eliminate negative thinking\", \"描述\": \"This is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.\\nLearn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking \\\"I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up,\\\" change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, \\\"I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play to your strengths\", \"描述\": \"Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals.\\nHave friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths.\\nFor example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build your self-confidence\", \"描述\": \"Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities.\\nTo portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are.\\nTo feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice flexibility.\", \"描述\": \"Flexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too.\\nOne of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off.\\nSwitching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make healthy choices\", \"描述\": \"It’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination.\\nTry to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.\\nEat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.\\nExercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Determination\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn from obstacles\", \"描述\": \"People who use their determination do not use the term \\\"failure.\\\" Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and \\\"failures\\\" are actually opportunities.\\nRe-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities.\\nAnother method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed \\\"failure.\\\" What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the \\\"failure\\\" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find creative solutions.\", \"描述\": \"Thinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered.\\n\\nDaydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time.\\nAsk yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use visualization.\", \"描述\": \"Although it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards.\\nThe more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them.\\nFor instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing \\\"congratulations\\\" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a vision board.\", \"描述\": \"A vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward.\\nLook through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career.\\nAfter assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Celebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals.\\nFor example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant.\\nRewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal).\\nKeep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take breaks to re-energize.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals.\\nA break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway.\\nFor a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.\"}]}]}}",
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3,679 | How to Be Different | 1. Knowing Yourself
1-1. Know you're unique
For starters, know that you're already different from everyone on the planet. Sure, some people are more different than others, but all of us have a unique set of experiences and characteristics that spell out a different reality than everyone else on Earth. No one else has the same brain you do, the same thoughts you do, and the same reactions as you do. You're different by just being human.
Labels are pretty useless. Even striving to be different isn't something that's truly achievable. A quick change of cultures will show you that people operate differently by default. Instead, accept that you're already unique and work with yourself. Who are you, anyway?
1-2. Find yourself and be yourself
In order to be as different as possible, you have to be you -- not a carbon copy of someone else. If you don't know who you are, that process can seem a bit scary. In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. Do you know what it is you like? Who are you when no one else is around?
It's important to love yourself, too. If you're not comfortable with who you are, you'll inevitably end up trying to be someone else -- or at the very least being someone who you're not to please others. Which won't work in the end.
1-3. Spend some time alone.
It's normal nowadays to be constantly bombarded with stimuli -- whether it's on a screen or the people around us. To really get down to who you are and what makes you different, spend some time alone. Disconnect from everything. What are you left with? Meditate on what matters to you.
We're constantly being told what to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to look like, how to act, what to read, what to watch...you get it. Get alone and all of a sudden you'll be without guidance. It'll be a strange feeling, sitting there, thinking about what you wouldn't miss if you never had to wear/eat/say/do/read/watch it again. Think about what aspects of your environment are shoved onto you and which ones you openly embrace.
1-4. Know what you want.
Be very careful that you actually want to be different. Maybe you're just in a group of friends that you don't live with and that little voice in your head is just being misinterpreted. What does different actually mean to you?
What do you perceive as normal? What is it about people that strikes you as "the same?" Every person's interpretation of what "different" actual is, well, different. Is it how they look? Act? Talk? Dream?
1-5. Know how you want to be different.
Once you've pinpointed what "different" is to you, how do you want to go about it? If you're in a group of friends that only eats Swedish protein bars and wears pink on Wednesdays, how do you want to go off on your own? Do you want to become a math mastermind or do you just want to shake it up by wearing purple? You could be different in so many ways.
2. Finding Your Uniqueness
2-1. Note your environment.
A Japanese man that shakes hands instead of bowing will be different in his culture, but be pretty normal in the West. Reading Thoreau for fun will be commonplace in some circles, while "normal" is Cosmopolitan in others. In order to know how to be different, you have to take into account your environment. Think of three words to describe yours. Now, what's the opposite of that?
Let's go back to "Mean Girls." Three words to describe that environment? Superficial. Vain. And unsurprisingly, mean. Want to be different from the Plastics? You'd have to be a deep thinker, not into looks, and nice. However, being nice in other circles is totally normal (and expected). What's your circle like?
2-2. Observe.
Take a step back from your surroundings for a moment and just observe. How are people behaving? How do they interact with each other (friends, strangers, cashiers, lovers)? What assumptions do they all make? How are they dressed? If you were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you not fit into the mold?
There's definitely a spectrum of outrageousness here. Something so simple as wearing a bright color could set you out from the crowd in a Cafe on a dreary day.
You could make small changes to your behavior -- when the cashier at the cafe asks you what you'd like, instead you could reply, "Hmm. Not sure. How was your day?"
You could go the wrong way -- be loud, throwing things, start dancing on tables -- that'd sure be different than normal public etiquette. But it'll probably get you thrown out.
2-3. Do what you like.
Straight up, you're going to enjoy some things that are trendy and some things that are not. That's fine! As long as you're doing what you enjoy, you'll have a combination that's probably unique to you. Maybe you love baking, jiujitsu, and thrift shopping. If you enjoy it, it'll feel right.
It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. Do you want to sing a song from Jekyll & Hyde at karaoke in German? Awesome. Go for it. Do you want to buy that Abercrombie & Fitch bag? Well, if it would make you happy, sure. Just make sure it's not someone else telling you to do it!
2-4. Try new things.
We are naturally raised as part of a group. Therefore, we're constantly being exposed to things that others around us have already approved. These things are good -- they can open us up to things we're not even aware of -- but it's also important to try things that are brand-spankin' new to you that other people haven't already endorsed. How else will you find out what you like and do not like?
2-5. Color outside the lines.
From a very young age, we're sort of brainwashed to fit into our society. We wear clothes, eat with utensils, go to school, do things to match our gender, etcetera and so forth. It's hard to realize that this is a box you can get out of. There are lines that you can color outside of. It just hasn't occurred to most of us.
Think about how you would act if you were in a dinosaur costume. No one can see your face or body and you're in a dinosaur costume. All of a sudden you start bursting into rooms and waving your tiny arms and creeping up on people just because you can. You could do this in real life. You just choose not to. ...Why?
2-6. Be absurd.
As if the dinosaur example wasn't enough, instead of just coloring outside the lines, you don't even have to use your metaphorical crayons on the metaphorical paper. If you want to go around school wearing headphones and dancing like you're in a Selena Gomez music video, the thing is, you can. If you want to wear a hat shaped like the state of Texas and stand outside of Walmart all night long, if you can find one, you can. (Doesn't mean you should, but you definitely could.)
Some people are going to severely frown on the dinosaur costumes, the public dancing, and the weird-shaped hats. Know that if you do want to start pressing the limits and toeing the line, you'll most likely experience opposition. If you can handle the heat, go for it. But know that lots of people frown on what's "abnormal."
3. Putting It into Action
3-1. Shake hands with your enemies.
This is a way to say act differently toward people than they expect. In a good way, of course! And see where it gets you -- who knows, the next time you have to deal with a cop, shake his hand, ask him about himself, and see if you get out of that ticket! You very well may.
One way to certainly be different is to be friendly to everyone. How many people do you know that are friendly to literally "everyone?" Probably not many. It's hard work! We all end up judging those around us and gravitating toward certain types of people. Instead, be friendly toward those you may not feel inclined to be friendly toward. You'll be different and learn a lot!
3-2. Dress for yourself.
It's really easy to get caught up in what society tells us looks good and is attractive. (Even if you don't think so.) While it's impossible to completely avoid that (without making the clothes yourself), use fashion like a cafeteria -- take what you want and leave the rest. Do you like a certain trend? Great. Would you rather be sporting a pair of rain boots from 1972 than a pair of Uggs? Awesome -- maybe your mom has some in her closet.
3-3. Don't get caught up in games.
It's hard to come up with a few examples that everyone does. You could say, for example, "listen to unpopular music," but there are loads of people that do that. However, one thing that seems to be a pretty normal characteristic across the board is drama. We love it. If you want to be different, avoid it! Don't let it be a part of your life. And definitely don't start it!
Because of how interacting with people works, we all end up playing games a lot. A friend asks us if we're mad and we say no to keep things calm, even though we are. We do things to get attention, we lead people on, we employ tactics to get what we want, even if they're not the nicest. If you can recognize those urges, try to resist them. Being honest and genuine is a characteristic to be proud of and is more unique than it should be.
3-4. Say what everyone else is thinking.
One of the games people play is not saying what we mean. We're afraid of standing out, making noise, hurting someone's feelings, or just getting embarrassed. There will be times when an entire room is thinking something, but no one says it. The term "elephant in the room" exists for a reason! Be that person!
Most people are caught up in what they look like or the impression they give off to truly do what they really want. They're too wrapped up in thinking about others and not being themselves to really operate on a genuine level. If you catch yourself not doing something because others are present, do it anyway! (Within the law, of course!)
3-5. Don't bother trying to impress.
If you haven't noticed, there's a pattern here of how others' opinions shouldn't really matter. Since most people are concerned with impressing others and how they're perceived, try not to do it. It's often when we're not trying to impress that we do the most impressing!
You know how they say love will come to you when you stop looking for it? It's sort of like that. Instead of presenting an image to the world, just present yourself. It's so much better and so much more unique.
3-6. Know the world works in opposites.
Nothing is really as it seems. So many people are trying to be different it results in them all being the same! Being quiet may mean that when you talk, people hear you louder. When you're not trying to attract that boy or girl, they become attracted to you. So trying to be different may not get you anywhere.
Dressing in a squirrel suit (or a dinosaur outfit) and walking into a bar, for example, isn't necessarily different. In a certain way, it's saying, "Look at me!" just the same as a short skirt and high heels are. So the next time you're trying to be different, think about what you're actually doing. Is it the opposite?
3-7. Know you'll bump heads.
Society isn't super good at accepting what isn't trendy. People are praised for being fashionable and pretty -- few are praised for expanding our limits and coloring outside the lines. Those people may not welcome you with open arms. And that's fine! You don't need 'em. But you do need to know it's gonna happen. That way you'll be prepared for when it does.
Aristotle said, “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” This is one thing he nailed. Criticism is going to happen if you step outside of the box at all. Think of it as a good thing! By getting criticism, you're doing something. You're getting noticed. You're exposing people to other things. Excellent! You're different.
Tips
Try to be at peace with yourself.[19]
X
Research source
Being surprised if people dislike your weirdness is just oblivious stupidity on your part. If you are not willing to endure some odd glances or comments, you will have no choice but to keep your blossoming strangeness to yourself.
Remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are at 15 is not who you will be at 22, or 49, or 97! Our needs and interests change as we grow older. Things that were important to us then, sometimes don't seem to matter anymore. Wisdom replaces petty ambitions as we learn to grow from ourselves.
Be very open-minded, or at least try to be. Learn to see the world from different perspectives (and not necessarily just human perspectives, either). Don't be afraid of those who challenge your preconceptions and values.
Warnings
Remember that being weird is not necessarily better than "being normal." All people are weird in their own ways, even if they do conform to society's rules.
Take note that by asking someone else how to be different, you are defeating the purpose of what you are trying to do. Meaning if you're asking someone else how to be different you will NOT be different because the vast majority of the time they tell you things that they themselves would do to be different. Therefore, asking someone else how to be different is practically impossible because they will unknowingly tell you how to be like them. It's quite a paradoxical conundrum, isn't it?
Being random in order to seem weird is often extremely obnoxious and is, again, very superficial. It will not necessarily help you see the world in a new or different way.
Don't label yourself. Just because you feel that you are a "gangsta" doesn't mean that you can't love ballet.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing Yourself\\n1-1. Know you're unique\\nFor starters, know that you're already different from everyone on the planet. Sure, some people are more different than others, but all of us have a unique set of experiences and characteristics that spell out a different reality than everyone else on Earth. No one else has the same brain you do, the same thoughts you do, and the same reactions as you do. You're different by just being human.\\nLabels are pretty useless. Even striving to be different isn't something that's truly achievable. A quick change of cultures will show you that people operate differently by default. Instead, accept that you're already unique and work with yourself. Who are you, anyway?\\n1-2. Find yourself and be yourself\\nIn order to be as different as possible, you have to be you -- not a carbon copy of someone else. If you don't know who you are, that process can seem a bit scary. In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. Do you know what it is you like? Who are you when no one else is around?\\nIt's important to love yourself, too. If you're not comfortable with who you are, you'll inevitably end up trying to be someone else -- or at the very least being someone who you're not to please others. Which won't work in the end.\\n1-3. Spend some time alone.\\nIt's normal nowadays to be constantly bombarded with stimuli -- whether it's on a screen or the people around us. To really get down to who you are and what makes you different, spend some time alone. Disconnect from everything. What are you left with? Meditate on what matters to you.\\nWe're constantly being told what to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to look like, how to act, what to read, what to watch...you get it. Get alone and all of a sudden you'll be without guidance. It'll be a strange feeling, sitting there, thinking about what you wouldn't miss if you never had to wear/eat/say/do/read/watch it again. Think about what aspects of your environment are shoved onto you and which ones you openly embrace.\\n1-4. Know what you want.\\nBe very careful that you actually want to be different. Maybe you're just in a group of friends that you don't live with and that little voice in your head is just being misinterpreted. What does different actually mean to you?\\nWhat do you perceive as normal? What is it about people that strikes you as \\\"the same?\\\" Every person's interpretation of what \\\"different\\\" actual is, well, different. Is it how they look? Act? Talk? Dream?\\n1-5. Know how you want to be different.\\nOnce you've pinpointed what \\\"different\\\" is to you, how do you want to go about it? If you're in a group of friends that only eats Swedish protein bars and wears pink on Wednesdays, how do you want to go off on your own? Do you want to become a math mastermind or do you just want to shake it up by wearing purple? You could be different in so many ways.\\n2. Finding Your Uniqueness\\n2-1. Note your environment.\\nA Japanese man that shakes hands instead of bowing will be different in his culture, but be pretty normal in the West. Reading Thoreau for fun will be commonplace in some circles, while \\\"normal\\\" is Cosmopolitan in others. In order to know how to be different, you have to take into account your environment. Think of three words to describe yours. Now, what's the opposite of that?\\nLet's go back to \\\"Mean Girls.\\\" Three words to describe that environment? Superficial. Vain. And unsurprisingly, mean. Want to be different from the Plastics? You'd have to be a deep thinker, not into looks, and nice. However, being nice in other circles is totally normal (and expected). What's your circle like?\\n2-2. Observe.\\nTake a step back from your surroundings for a moment and just observe. How are people behaving? How do they interact with each other (friends, strangers, cashiers, lovers)? What assumptions do they all make? How are they dressed? If you were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you not fit into the mold?\\nThere's definitely a spectrum of outrageousness here. Something so simple as wearing a bright color could set you out from the crowd in a Cafe on a dreary day.\\nYou could make small changes to your behavior -- when the cashier at the cafe asks you what you'd like, instead you could reply, \\\"Hmm. Not sure. How was your day?\\\"\\nYou could go the wrong way -- be loud, throwing things, start dancing on tables -- that'd sure be different than normal public etiquette. But it'll probably get you thrown out.\\n2-3. Do what you like.\\nStraight up, you're going to enjoy some things that are trendy and some things that are not. That's fine! As long as you're doing what you enjoy, you'll have a combination that's probably unique to you. Maybe you love baking, jiujitsu, and thrift shopping. If you enjoy it, it'll feel right.\\nIt shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. Do you want to sing a song from Jekyll & Hyde at karaoke in German? Awesome. Go for it. Do you want to buy that Abercrombie & Fitch bag? Well, if it would make you happy, sure. Just make sure it's not someone else telling you to do it!\\n2-4. Try new things.\\nWe are naturally raised as part of a group. Therefore, we're constantly being exposed to things that others around us have already approved. These things are good -- they can open us up to things we're not even aware of -- but it's also important to try things that are brand-spankin' new to you that other people haven't already endorsed. How else will you find out what you like and do not like?\\n2-5. Color outside the lines.\\nFrom a very young age, we're sort of brainwashed to fit into our society. We wear clothes, eat with utensils, go to school, do things to match our gender, etcetera and so forth. It's hard to realize that this is a box you can get out of. There are lines that you can color outside of. It just hasn't occurred to most of us.\\nThink about how you would act if you were in a dinosaur costume. No one can see your face or body and you're in a dinosaur costume. All of a sudden you start bursting into rooms and waving your tiny arms and creeping up on people just because you can. You could do this in real life. You just choose not to. ...Why?\\n2-6. Be absurd.\\nAs if the dinosaur example wasn't enough, instead of just coloring outside the lines, you don't even have to use your metaphorical crayons on the metaphorical paper. If you want to go around school wearing headphones and dancing like you're in a Selena Gomez music video, the thing is, you can. If you want to wear a hat shaped like the state of Texas and stand outside of Walmart all night long, if you can find one, you can. (Doesn't mean you should, but you definitely could.)\\nSome people are going to severely frown on the dinosaur costumes, the public dancing, and the weird-shaped hats. Know that if you do want to start pressing the limits and toeing the line, you'll most likely experience opposition. If you can handle the heat, go for it. But know that lots of people frown on what's \\\"abnormal.\\\"\\n3. Putting It into Action\\n3-1. Shake hands with your enemies.\\nThis is a way to say act differently toward people than they expect. In a good way, of course! And see where it gets you -- who knows, the next time you have to deal with a cop, shake his hand, ask him about himself, and see if you get out of that ticket! You very well may.\\nOne way to certainly be different is to be friendly to everyone. How many people do you know that are friendly to literally \\\"everyone?\\\" Probably not many. It's hard work! We all end up judging those around us and gravitating toward certain types of people. Instead, be friendly toward those you may not feel inclined to be friendly toward. You'll be different and learn a lot!\\n3-2. Dress for yourself.\\nIt's really easy to get caught up in what society tells us looks good and is attractive. (Even if you don't think so.) While it's impossible to completely avoid that (without making the clothes yourself), use fashion like a cafeteria -- take what you want and leave the rest. Do you like a certain trend? Great. Would you rather be sporting a pair of rain boots from 1972 than a pair of Uggs? Awesome -- maybe your mom has some in her closet.\\n3-3. Don't get caught up in games.\\nIt's hard to come up with a few examples that everyone does. You could say, for example, \\\"listen to unpopular music,\\\" but there are loads of people that do that. However, one thing that seems to be a pretty normal characteristic across the board is drama. We love it. If you want to be different, avoid it! Don't let it be a part of your life. And definitely don't start it!\\nBecause of how interacting with people works, we all end up playing games a lot. A friend asks us if we're mad and we say no to keep things calm, even though we are. We do things to get attention, we lead people on, we employ tactics to get what we want, even if they're not the nicest. If you can recognize those urges, try to resist them. Being honest and genuine is a characteristic to be proud of and is more unique than it should be.\\n3-4. Say what everyone else is thinking.\\nOne of the games people play is not saying what we mean. We're afraid of standing out, making noise, hurting someone's feelings, or just getting embarrassed. There will be times when an entire room is thinking something, but no one says it. The term \\\"elephant in the room\\\" exists for a reason! Be that person!\\nMost people are caught up in what they look like or the impression they give off to truly do what they really want. They're too wrapped up in thinking about others and not being themselves to really operate on a genuine level. If you catch yourself not doing something because others are present, do it anyway! (Within the law, of course!)\\n3-5. Don't bother trying to impress.\\nIf you haven't noticed, there's a pattern here of how others' opinions shouldn't really matter. Since most people are concerned with impressing others and how they're perceived, try not to do it. It's often when we're not trying to impress that we do the most impressing!\\nYou know how they say love will come to you when you stop looking for it? It's sort of like that. Instead of presenting an image to the world, just present yourself. It's so much better and so much more unique.\\n3-6. Know the world works in opposites.\\nNothing is really as it seems. So many people are trying to be different it results in them all being the same! Being quiet may mean that when you talk, people hear you louder. When you're not trying to attract that boy or girl, they become attracted to you. So trying to be different may not get you anywhere.\\nDressing in a squirrel suit (or a dinosaur outfit) and walking into a bar, for example, isn't necessarily different. In a certain way, it's saying, \\\"Look at me!\\\" just the same as a short skirt and high heels are. So the next time you're trying to be different, think about what you're actually doing. Is it the opposite?\\n3-7. Know you'll bump heads.\\nSociety isn't super good at accepting what isn't trendy. People are praised for being fashionable and pretty -- few are praised for expanding our limits and coloring outside the lines. Those people may not welcome you with open arms. And that's fine! You don't need 'em. But you do need to know it's gonna happen. That way you'll be prepared for when it does.\\nAristotle said, “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” This is one thing he nailed. Criticism is going to happen if you step outside of the box at all. Think of it as a good thing! By getting criticism, you're doing something. You're getting noticed. You're exposing people to other things. Excellent! You're different.\\nTips\\nTry to be at peace with yourself.[19]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Being surprised if people dislike your weirdness is just oblivious stupidity on your part. If you are not willing to endure some odd glances or comments, you will have no choice but to keep your blossoming strangeness to yourself.\\nRemember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are at 15 is not who you will be at 22, or 49, or 97! Our needs and interests change as we grow older. Things that were important to us then, sometimes don't seem to matter anymore. Wisdom replaces petty ambitions as we learn to grow from ourselves.\\nBe very open-minded, or at least try to be. Learn to see the world from different perspectives (and not necessarily just human perspectives, either). Don't be afraid of those who challenge your preconceptions and values.\\nWarnings\\nRemember that being weird is not necessarily better than \\\"being normal.\\\" All people are weird in their own ways, even if they do conform to society's rules.\\nTake note that by asking someone else how to be different, you are defeating the purpose of what you are trying to do. Meaning if you're asking someone else how to be different you will NOT be different because the vast majority of the time they tell you things that they themselves would do to be different. Therefore, asking someone else how to be different is practically impossible because they will unknowingly tell you how to be like them. It's quite a paradoxical conundrum, isn't it?\\nBeing random in order to seem weird is often extremely obnoxious and is, again, very superficial. It will not necessarily help you see the world in a new or different way.\\nDon't label yourself. Just because you feel that you are a \\\"gangsta\\\" doesn't mean that you can't love ballet.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many people out there who want to be \\\"part of the crowd.\\\" If you want to be the leader and stand out from the crowd instead, then this article is for you. It's a wonderful feeling when you know that you are original and unique.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know you're unique\", \"描述\": \"For starters, know that you're already different from everyone on the planet. Sure, some people are more different than others, but all of us have a unique set of experiences and characteristics that spell out a different reality than everyone else on Earth. No one else has the same brain you do, the same thoughts you do, and the same reactions as you do. You're different by just being human.\\nLabels are pretty useless. Even striving to be different isn't something that's truly achievable. A quick change of cultures will show you that people operate differently by default. Instead, accept that you're already unique and work with yourself. Who are you, anyway?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find yourself and be yourself\", \"描述\": \"In order to be as different as possible, you have to be you -- not a carbon copy of someone else. If you don't know who you are, that process can seem a bit scary. In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. Do you know what it is you like? Who are you when no one else is around?\\nIt's important to love yourself, too. If you're not comfortable with who you are, you'll inevitably end up trying to be someone else -- or at the very least being someone who you're not to please others. Which won't work in the end.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend some time alone.\", \"描述\": \"It's normal nowadays to be constantly bombarded with stimuli -- whether it's on a screen or the people around us. To really get down to who you are and what makes you different, spend some time alone. Disconnect from everything. What are you left with? Meditate on what matters to you.\\nWe're constantly being told what to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to look like, how to act, what to read, what to watch...you get it. Get alone and all of a sudden you'll be without guidance. It'll be a strange feeling, sitting there, thinking about what you wouldn't miss if you never had to wear/eat/say/do/read/watch it again. Think about what aspects of your environment are shoved onto you and which ones you openly embrace.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Be very careful that you actually want to be different. Maybe you're just in a group of friends that you don't live with and that little voice in your head is just being misinterpreted. What does different actually mean to you?\\nWhat do you perceive as normal? What is it about people that strikes you as \\\"the same?\\\" Every person's interpretation of what \\\"different\\\" actual is, well, different. Is it how they look? Act? Talk? Dream?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know how you want to be different.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've pinpointed what \\\"different\\\" is to you, how do you want to go about it? If you're in a group of friends that only eats Swedish protein bars and wears pink on Wednesdays, how do you want to go off on your own? Do you want to become a math mastermind or do you just want to shake it up by wearing purple? You could be different in so many ways.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Your Uniqueness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Note your environment.\", \"描述\": \"A Japanese man that shakes hands instead of bowing will be different in his culture, but be pretty normal in the West. Reading Thoreau for fun will be commonplace in some circles, while \\\"normal\\\" is Cosmopolitan in others. In order to know how to be different, you have to take into account your environment. Think of three words to describe yours. Now, what's the opposite of that?\\nLet's go back to \\\"Mean Girls.\\\" Three words to describe that environment? Superficial. Vain. And unsurprisingly, mean. Want to be different from the Plastics? You'd have to be a deep thinker, not into looks, and nice. However, being nice in other circles is totally normal (and expected). What's your circle like?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Observe.\", \"描述\": \"Take a step back from your surroundings for a moment and just observe. How are people behaving? How do they interact with each other (friends, strangers, cashiers, lovers)? What assumptions do they all make? How are they dressed? If you were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you not fit into the mold?\\nThere's definitely a spectrum of outrageousness here. Something so simple as wearing a bright color could set you out from the crowd in a Cafe on a dreary day.\\nYou could make small changes to your behavior -- when the cashier at the cafe asks you what you'd like, instead you could reply, \\\"Hmm. Not sure. How was your day?\\\"\\nYou could go the wrong way -- be loud, throwing things, start dancing on tables -- that'd sure be different than normal public etiquette. But it'll probably get you thrown out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do what you like.\", \"描述\": \"Straight up, you're going to enjoy some things that are trendy and some things that are not. That's fine! As long as you're doing what you enjoy, you'll have a combination that's probably unique to you. Maybe you love baking, jiujitsu, and thrift shopping. If you enjoy it, it'll feel right.\\nIt shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. Do you want to sing a song from Jekyll & Hyde at karaoke in German? Awesome. Go for it. Do you want to buy that Abercrombie & Fitch bag? Well, if it would make you happy, sure. Just make sure it's not someone else telling you to do it!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try new things.\", \"描述\": \"We are naturally raised as part of a group. Therefore, we're constantly being exposed to things that others around us have already approved. These things are good -- they can open us up to things we're not even aware of -- but it's also important to try things that are brand-spankin' new to you that other people haven't already endorsed. How else will you find out what you like and do not like?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Color outside the lines.\", \"描述\": \"From a very young age, we're sort of brainwashed to fit into our society. We wear clothes, eat with utensils, go to school, do things to match our gender, etcetera and so forth. It's hard to realize that this is a box you can get out of. There are lines that you can color outside of. It just hasn't occurred to most of us.\\nThink about how you would act if you were in a dinosaur costume. No one can see your face or body and you're in a dinosaur costume. All of a sudden you start bursting into rooms and waving your tiny arms and creeping up on people just because you can. You could do this in real life. You just choose not to. ...Why?\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be absurd.\", \"描述\": \"As if the dinosaur example wasn't enough, instead of just coloring outside the lines, you don't even have to use your metaphorical crayons on the metaphorical paper. If you want to go around school wearing headphones and dancing like you're in a Selena Gomez music video, the thing is, you can. If you want to wear a hat shaped like the state of Texas and stand outside of Walmart all night long, if you can find one, you can. (Doesn't mean you should, but you definitely could.)\\nSome people are going to severely frown on the dinosaur costumes, the public dancing, and the weird-shaped hats. Know that if you do want to start pressing the limits and toeing the line, you'll most likely experience opposition. If you can handle the heat, go for it. But know that lots of people frown on what's \\\"abnormal.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Putting It into Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shake hands with your enemies.\", \"描述\": \"This is a way to say act differently toward people than they expect. In a good way, of course! And see where it gets you -- who knows, the next time you have to deal with a cop, shake his hand, ask him about himself, and see if you get out of that ticket! You very well may.\\nOne way to certainly be different is to be friendly to everyone. How many people do you know that are friendly to literally \\\"everyone?\\\" Probably not many. It's hard work! We all end up judging those around us and gravitating toward certain types of people. Instead, be friendly toward those you may not feel inclined to be friendly toward. You'll be different and learn a lot!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's really easy to get caught up in what society tells us looks good and is attractive. (Even if you don't think so.) While it's impossible to completely avoid that (without making the clothes yourself), use fashion like a cafeteria -- take what you want and leave the rest. Do you like a certain trend? Great. Would you rather be sporting a pair of rain boots from 1972 than a pair of Uggs? Awesome -- maybe your mom has some in her closet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't get caught up in games.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to come up with a few examples that everyone does. You could say, for example, \\\"listen to unpopular music,\\\" but there are loads of people that do that. However, one thing that seems to be a pretty normal characteristic across the board is drama. We love it. If you want to be different, avoid it! Don't let it be a part of your life. And definitely don't start it!\\nBecause of how interacting with people works, we all end up playing games a lot. A friend asks us if we're mad and we say no to keep things calm, even though we are. We do things to get attention, we lead people on, we employ tactics to get what we want, even if they're not the nicest. If you can recognize those urges, try to resist them. Being honest and genuine is a characteristic to be proud of and is more unique than it should be.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say what everyone else is thinking.\", \"描述\": \"One of the games people play is not saying what we mean. We're afraid of standing out, making noise, hurting someone's feelings, or just getting embarrassed. There will be times when an entire room is thinking something, but no one says it. The term \\\"elephant in the room\\\" exists for a reason! Be that person!\\nMost people are caught up in what they look like or the impression they give off to truly do what they really want. They're too wrapped up in thinking about others and not being themselves to really operate on a genuine level. If you catch yourself not doing something because others are present, do it anyway! (Within the law, of course!)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't bother trying to impress.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't noticed, there's a pattern here of how others' opinions shouldn't really matter. Since most people are concerned with impressing others and how they're perceived, try not to do it. It's often when we're not trying to impress that we do the most impressing!\\nYou know how they say love will come to you when you stop looking for it? It's sort of like that. Instead of presenting an image to the world, just present yourself. It's so much better and so much more unique.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know the world works in opposites.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing is really as it seems. So many people are trying to be different it results in them all being the same! Being quiet may mean that when you talk, people hear you louder. When you're not trying to attract that boy or girl, they become attracted to you. So trying to be different may not get you anywhere.\\nDressing in a squirrel suit (or a dinosaur outfit) and walking into a bar, for example, isn't necessarily different. In a certain way, it's saying, \\\"Look at me!\\\" just the same as a short skirt and high heels are. So the next time you're trying to be different, think about what you're actually doing. Is it the opposite?\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know you'll bump heads.\", \"描述\": \"Society isn't super good at accepting what isn't trendy. People are praised for being fashionable and pretty -- few are praised for expanding our limits and coloring outside the lines. Those people may not welcome you with open arms. And that's fine! You don't need 'em. But you do need to know it's gonna happen. That way you'll be prepared for when it does.\\nAristotle said, “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” This is one thing he nailed. Criticism is going to happen if you step outside of the box at all. Think of it as a good thing! By getting criticism, you're doing something. You're getting noticed. You're exposing people to other things. Excellent! You're different.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to be at peace with yourself.[19]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Being surprised if people dislike your weirdness is just oblivious stupidity on your part. If you are not willing to endure some odd glances or comments, you will have no choice but to keep your blossoming strangeness to yourself.\\n\", \"Remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are at 15 is not who you will be at 22, or 49, or 97! Our needs and interests change as we grow older. Things that were important to us then, sometimes don't seem to matter anymore. Wisdom replaces petty ambitions as we learn to grow from ourselves.\\n\", \"Be very open-minded, or at least try to be. Learn to see the world from different perspectives (and not necessarily just human perspectives, either). Don't be afraid of those who challenge your preconceptions and values.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember that being weird is not necessarily better than \\\"being normal.\\\" All people are weird in their own ways, even if they do conform to society's rules.\\n\", \"Take note that by asking someone else how to be different, you are defeating the purpose of what you are trying to do. Meaning if you're asking someone else how to be different you will NOT be different because the vast majority of the time they tell you things that they themselves would do to be different. Therefore, asking someone else how to be different is practically impossible because they will unknowingly tell you how to be like them. It's quite a paradoxical conundrum, isn't it?\\n\", \"Being random in order to seem weird is often extremely obnoxious and is, again, very superficial. It will not necessarily help you see the world in a new or different way.\\n\", \"Don't label yourself. Just because you feel that you are a \\\"gangsta\\\" doesn't mean that you can't love ballet.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,680 | How to Be Different from Other Girls | 1. Developing Your Personality
1-1. Practice introspection.
To stand out, you have to know yourself and know yourself well. Engage in a little bit of introspection from time to time, whether that means keeping a journal each night or having a meditation practice every morning.
Having a rich inner life will set you apart from other girls because you won’t rely on outward validation. This is a powerful ability to have.
To practice introspection, start by asking yourself how you feel each morning and night. From there, you can analyze the things you like and why you like them.
1-2. Experiment as much as you can.
Practice exposing yourself to new things. Try new foods, new hairstyles, and new classes. Trying new things will give you confidence, will garner a large set of skills, and will set you apart from others.
Experiment safely. Do not engage in illegal or dangerous activities for the sake of learning new things.
If you are nervous, start out with something small, like using online tutorials to learn to knit.
Experimenting can mean cooking meals you’ve never had before, reading a book you normally wouldn’t read, or even joining a community theatre production.
1-3. Get out of your comfort zone.
If you are extremely shy, try going to a party where you don’t know anyone and practice talking to strangers. If you are naturally outgoing, try your hand at observing and people-watching. Get out of your comfort zone to demonstrate that you can go with the flow--a trait that is certain to show you stand out from the crowd of other girls.
Again, if you’re nervous, start out small. Speak to someone you’ve never spoken to before, or try a type of foreign cuisine you’re unfamiliar with.
1-4. Don’t worry about looking weird.
A lot of girls are terrified of looking stupid or weird, so they hold back or avoid trying new things. Don’t! If you look weird trying something new, or sound weird when talking to someone new, so what? The worst that can happen is you won’t have a new hobby or friend. And even if you don’t, you’ll stand out from the crowd.
If you’re worried about what other people think, remember that they probably don’t notice as much as you think they do.
2. Showing Your Confidence
2-1. Own your opinion.
If you have an opinion about something, don’t sink back and keep it to yourself. Speak up! State your opinion, and contribute to the conversation. A woman who can hold her own stands out above the rest.
When giving your opinion, it helps to be well-informed. If you aren’t familiar with the topic being discussed, try to listen instead of speaking. When a topic you know comes up, offer your opinions.
2-2. Assert your needs.
A lot of girls feel like they are not allowed to assert their needs--not in a relationship, not in their family, not in the workplace, and not in the classroom. Do you want to be different from most girls? Assert yourself!
Some people might not like you asserting yourself, but not being afraid to demand respect and consideration is nothing to be ashamed of.
Assertion doesn’t have to be mean. To assert yourself, you can ask your teacher a question if you don’t understand an assignment, tell your friends you are too tired to go out, or let your significant other know that they hurt your feelings.
2-3. Accept compliments.
Most girls will deny a compliment, shake their head, or at least make a face to suggest displeasure. Don’t do that. Instead, smile, and say a simple, “Thank you.”
Not all compliments are created equal. Objectifying you and complimenting you are two very different things. If a compliment makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to shut it down.
2-4. Use proper posture.
Rounded shoulders and downcast eyes suggest you are uncomfortable in your skin. Instead, stand up straight, look straight ahead, and keep your chin parallel to the ground.
Work on your posture at all times. If you slouch when you’re alone, you will slouch when you are out, too.
2-5. Make eye contact.
Whether you are listening or speaking, be sure you make eye contact. If you cannot hold eye contact indefinitely (and this can make people feel as though you are staring them down, anyway), try to hold it for 20 seconds at a time with a 10-second break in between during conversations with others.
Eye contact demonstrates confidence quietly, rather than loud or brash statements.
If you feel too awkward practicing eye contact with others, you can practice meeting your own eyes in a mirror or practice with your family members.
2-6. Respect yourself.
Ultimately, the only way to get respect from others is to have respect for yourself. Respect your time, your energy, and your limitations. You can show yourself respect by treating yourself with care and consideration, such as making time for rest, feeding your body healthy foods, and listening to your intuition.
If you do not have time for a commitment, say so.
Be honest about what you need from a relationship or position. Respecting yourself means being up front about your needs.
3. Being Unapologetically You
3-1. Acknowledge your likes and dislikes.
Although some tastes are in vogue and others are not, do not hide your own likes and dislikes. It might not be cool, but if you have a passionate affection for 90s boy bands, own it! If you don’t like the resurgence of bluegrass, don’t listen to it. It’s that simple.
Acknowledge your likes and dislikes, but don’t put anyone else’s down.
To acknowledge your likes and dislikes, you might say, “Could we put on a country station? Country music is my favorite.” or “I love Greek food--let’s do Greek food for lunch.”
3-2. Speak your mind.
A lot of girls feel too intimidated or nervous to join in a spirited debate, or to disagree with someone in a group conversation. To stand out and set yourself apart, speak your mind and inspire other girls to do the same. Although you should always treat other people with respect, you do not have to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself.
Speak your mind in a civil, kind tone. Standing out from other girls can also be achieved by dominating male-oriented conversation.
When speaking your mind, be strong but not overbearing. If you are talking about politics, for instance, you can say something like, “I’ve been following the New York Times’ coverage of (political movement), and I agree with…”
3-3. Wear the clothes you feel good in.
Magazines have countless articles dictating what women should and should not wear based on a variety of ever-changing variables. Scrap Cosmo and wear whatever makes you feel good. If you have an apple shape and love drop-waist dresses, forget what anyone else says, and rock that drop waist.
If you feel best copying the looks in magazines, own it! Wear and do what makes you feel good.
3-4. Work on loving yourself.
Just as respect comes from self-respect, gaining the love of others requires you to first love yourself. Practice loving yourself outright--your flaws, your quirks, your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Most women struggle with self-loathing at worst, or a hefty list of insecurities at best, so loving yourself with truly set you apart.
A simple way to practice loving yourself is to speak kind words to yourself in the mirror each morning. Something as simple as, “You look beautiful today” can boost your confidence.
Loving yourself can mean exercising in a way you find fulfilling, or wearing clothes that make you feel your best, even if they aren’t in keeping with the latest trend.
Tips
Being different from other girls does not require an overhaul of your entire life.
If you notice a way you are different from other girls, be proud of it!
Warnings
Never pretend to be something you’re not just to appear different from the girls around you.
Avoid going out and spending a lot of money on a new wardrobe or makeup routine to impress, as these tend to mask insecurity.
Don’t brag or talk about how you’re different from other girls. If you’re different, people will notice. Remember to also be kind.[13]
X
Expert Source
Jessica George, MA, CHtCertified Professional Master Life Coach
Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Your Personality\\n1-1. Practice introspection.\\nTo stand out, you have to know yourself and know yourself well. Engage in a little bit of introspection from time to time, whether that means keeping a journal each night or having a meditation practice every morning.\\nHaving a rich inner life will set you apart from other girls because you won’t rely on outward validation. This is a powerful ability to have.\\nTo practice introspection, start by asking yourself how you feel each morning and night. From there, you can analyze the things you like and why you like them.\\n1-2. Experiment as much as you can.\\nPractice exposing yourself to new things. Try new foods, new hairstyles, and new classes. Trying new things will give you confidence, will garner a large set of skills, and will set you apart from others.\\nExperiment safely. Do not engage in illegal or dangerous activities for the sake of learning new things.\\nIf you are nervous, start out with something small, like using online tutorials to learn to knit.\\nExperimenting can mean cooking meals you’ve never had before, reading a book you normally wouldn’t read, or even joining a community theatre production.\\n1-3. Get out of your comfort zone.\\nIf you are extremely shy, try going to a party where you don’t know anyone and practice talking to strangers. If you are naturally outgoing, try your hand at observing and people-watching. Get out of your comfort zone to demonstrate that you can go with the flow--a trait that is certain to show you stand out from the crowd of other girls.\\nAgain, if you’re nervous, start out small. Speak to someone you’ve never spoken to before, or try a type of foreign cuisine you’re unfamiliar with.\\n1-4. Don’t worry about looking weird.\\nA lot of girls are terrified of looking stupid or weird, so they hold back or avoid trying new things. Don’t! If you look weird trying something new, or sound weird when talking to someone new, so what? The worst that can happen is you won’t have a new hobby or friend. And even if you don’t, you’ll stand out from the crowd.\\nIf you’re worried about what other people think, remember that they probably don’t notice as much as you think they do.\\n2. Showing Your Confidence\\n2-1. Own your opinion.\\nIf you have an opinion about something, don’t sink back and keep it to yourself. Speak up! State your opinion, and contribute to the conversation. A woman who can hold her own stands out above the rest.\\nWhen giving your opinion, it helps to be well-informed. If you aren’t familiar with the topic being discussed, try to listen instead of speaking. When a topic you know comes up, offer your opinions.\\n2-2. Assert your needs.\\nA lot of girls feel like they are not allowed to assert their needs--not in a relationship, not in their family, not in the workplace, and not in the classroom. Do you want to be different from most girls? Assert yourself!\\nSome people might not like you asserting yourself, but not being afraid to demand respect and consideration is nothing to be ashamed of.\\nAssertion doesn’t have to be mean. To assert yourself, you can ask your teacher a question if you don’t understand an assignment, tell your friends you are too tired to go out, or let your significant other know that they hurt your feelings.\\n2-3. Accept compliments.\\nMost girls will deny a compliment, shake their head, or at least make a face to suggest displeasure. Don’t do that. Instead, smile, and say a simple, “Thank you.”\\nNot all compliments are created equal. Objectifying you and complimenting you are two very different things. If a compliment makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to shut it down.\\n2-4. Use proper posture.\\nRounded shoulders and downcast eyes suggest you are uncomfortable in your skin. Instead, stand up straight, look straight ahead, and keep your chin parallel to the ground.\\nWork on your posture at all times. If you slouch when you’re alone, you will slouch when you are out, too.\\n2-5. Make eye contact.\\nWhether you are listening or speaking, be sure you make eye contact. If you cannot hold eye contact indefinitely (and this can make people feel as though you are staring them down, anyway), try to hold it for 20 seconds at a time with a 10-second break in between during conversations with others.\\nEye contact demonstrates confidence quietly, rather than loud or brash statements.\\nIf you feel too awkward practicing eye contact with others, you can practice meeting your own eyes in a mirror or practice with your family members.\\n2-6. Respect yourself.\\nUltimately, the only way to get respect from others is to have respect for yourself. Respect your time, your energy, and your limitations. You can show yourself respect by treating yourself with care and consideration, such as making time for rest, feeding your body healthy foods, and listening to your intuition.\\nIf you do not have time for a commitment, say so.\\nBe honest about what you need from a relationship or position. Respecting yourself means being up front about your needs.\\n3. Being Unapologetically You\\n3-1. Acknowledge your likes and dislikes.\\nAlthough some tastes are in vogue and others are not, do not hide your own likes and dislikes. It might not be cool, but if you have a passionate affection for 90s boy bands, own it! If you don’t like the resurgence of bluegrass, don’t listen to it. It’s that simple.\\nAcknowledge your likes and dislikes, but don’t put anyone else’s down.\\nTo acknowledge your likes and dislikes, you might say, “Could we put on a country station? Country music is my favorite.” or “I love Greek food--let’s do Greek food for lunch.”\\n3-2. Speak your mind.\\nA lot of girls feel too intimidated or nervous to join in a spirited debate, or to disagree with someone in a group conversation. To stand out and set yourself apart, speak your mind and inspire other girls to do the same. Although you should always treat other people with respect, you do not have to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself.\\nSpeak your mind in a civil, kind tone. Standing out from other girls can also be achieved by dominating male-oriented conversation.\\nWhen speaking your mind, be strong but not overbearing. If you are talking about politics, for instance, you can say something like, “I’ve been following the New York Times’ coverage of (political movement), and I agree with…”\\n3-3. Wear the clothes you feel good in.\\nMagazines have countless articles dictating what women should and should not wear based on a variety of ever-changing variables. Scrap Cosmo and wear whatever makes you feel good. If you have an apple shape and love drop-waist dresses, forget what anyone else says, and rock that drop waist.\\nIf you feel best copying the looks in magazines, own it! Wear and do what makes you feel good.\\n3-4. Work on loving yourself.\\nJust as respect comes from self-respect, gaining the love of others requires you to first love yourself. Practice loving yourself outright--your flaws, your quirks, your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Most women struggle with self-loathing at worst, or a hefty list of insecurities at best, so loving yourself with truly set you apart. \\nA simple way to practice loving yourself is to speak kind words to yourself in the mirror each morning. Something as simple as, “You look beautiful today” can boost your confidence.\\nLoving yourself can mean exercising in a way you find fulfilling, or wearing clothes that make you feel your best, even if they aren’t in keeping with the latest trend.\\nTips\\nBeing different from other girls does not require an overhaul of your entire life.\\nIf you notice a way you are different from other girls, be proud of it!\\nWarnings\\nNever pretend to be something you’re not just to appear different from the girls around you.\\nAvoid going out and spending a lot of money on a new wardrobe or makeup routine to impress, as these tend to mask insecurity.\\nDon’t brag or talk about how you’re different from other girls. If you’re different, people will notice. Remember to also be kind.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJessica George, MA, CHtCertified Professional Master Life Coach\\nExpert Interview. 11 February 2022.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Standing out can be a fun and exciting journey. Using social media and outings with friends, you can create an entirely fresh persona to make yourself stand out in a crowd. Whether you want to stand out for your performance as a woman at school, or you want to attract a romantic partner, not being like other girls is an attainable goal. With some introspection, confidence, and determination, you will be well on your way to not being like other girls.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice introspection.\", \"描述\": \"To stand out, you have to know yourself and know yourself well. Engage in a little bit of introspection from time to time, whether that means keeping a journal each night or having a meditation practice every morning.\\nHaving a rich inner life will set you apart from other girls because you won’t rely on outward validation. This is a powerful ability to have.\\nTo practice introspection, start by asking yourself how you feel each morning and night. From there, you can analyze the things you like and why you like them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Experiment as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Practice exposing yourself to new things. Try new foods, new hairstyles, and new classes. Trying new things will give you confidence, will garner a large set of skills, and will set you apart from others.\\nExperiment safely. Do not engage in illegal or dangerous activities for the sake of learning new things.\\nIf you are nervous, start out with something small, like using online tutorials to learn to knit.\\nExperimenting can mean cooking meals you’ve never had before, reading a book you normally wouldn’t read, or even joining a community theatre production.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"If you are extremely shy, try going to a party where you don’t know anyone and practice talking to strangers. If you are naturally outgoing, try your hand at observing and people-watching. Get out of your comfort zone to demonstrate that you can go with the flow--a trait that is certain to show you stand out from the crowd of other girls.\\nAgain, if you’re nervous, start out small. Speak to someone you’ve never spoken to before, or try a type of foreign cuisine you’re unfamiliar with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t worry about looking weird.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of girls are terrified of looking stupid or weird, so they hold back or avoid trying new things. Don’t! If you look weird trying something new, or sound weird when talking to someone new, so what? The worst that can happen is you won’t have a new hobby or friend. And even if you don’t, you’ll stand out from the crowd.\\nIf you’re worried about what other people think, remember that they probably don’t notice as much as you think they do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own your opinion.\", \"描述\": \"If you have an opinion about something, don’t sink back and keep it to yourself. Speak up! State your opinion, and contribute to the conversation. A woman who can hold her own stands out above the rest.\\nWhen giving your opinion, it helps to be well-informed. If you aren’t familiar with the topic being discussed, try to listen instead of speaking. When a topic you know comes up, offer your opinions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assert your needs.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of girls feel like they are not allowed to assert their needs--not in a relationship, not in their family, not in the workplace, and not in the classroom. Do you want to be different from most girls? Assert yourself!\\nSome people might not like you asserting yourself, but not being afraid to demand respect and consideration is nothing to be ashamed of.\\nAssertion doesn’t have to be mean. To assert yourself, you can ask your teacher a question if you don’t understand an assignment, tell your friends you are too tired to go out, or let your significant other know that they hurt your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Most girls will deny a compliment, shake their head, or at least make a face to suggest displeasure. Don’t do that. Instead, smile, and say a simple, “Thank you.”\\nNot all compliments are created equal. Objectifying you and complimenting you are two very different things. If a compliment makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to shut it down.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use proper posture.\", \"描述\": \"Rounded shoulders and downcast eyes suggest you are uncomfortable in your skin. Instead, stand up straight, look straight ahead, and keep your chin parallel to the ground.\\nWork on your posture at all times. If you slouch when you’re alone, you will slouch when you are out, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are listening or speaking, be sure you make eye contact. If you cannot hold eye contact indefinitely (and this can make people feel as though you are staring them down, anyway), try to hold it for 20 seconds at a time with a 10-second break in between during conversations with others.\\nEye contact demonstrates confidence quietly, rather than loud or brash statements.\\nIf you feel too awkward practicing eye contact with others, you can practice meeting your own eyes in a mirror or practice with your family members.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respect yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Ultimately, the only way to get respect from others is to have respect for yourself. Respect your time, your energy, and your limitations. You can show yourself respect by treating yourself with care and consideration, such as making time for rest, feeding your body healthy foods, and listening to your intuition.\\nIf you do not have time for a commitment, say so.\\nBe honest about what you need from a relationship or position. Respecting yourself means being up front about your needs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Unapologetically You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your likes and dislikes.\", \"描述\": \"Although some tastes are in vogue and others are not, do not hide your own likes and dislikes. It might not be cool, but if you have a passionate affection for 90s boy bands, own it! If you don’t like the resurgence of bluegrass, don’t listen to it. It’s that simple.\\nAcknowledge your likes and dislikes, but don’t put anyone else’s down.\\nTo acknowledge your likes and dislikes, you might say, “Could we put on a country station? Country music is my favorite.” or “I love Greek food--let’s do Greek food for lunch.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak your mind.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of girls feel too intimidated or nervous to join in a spirited debate, or to disagree with someone in a group conversation. To stand out and set yourself apart, speak your mind and inspire other girls to do the same. Although you should always treat other people with respect, you do not have to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself.\\nSpeak your mind in a civil, kind tone. Standing out from other girls can also be achieved by dominating male-oriented conversation.\\nWhen speaking your mind, be strong but not overbearing. If you are talking about politics, for instance, you can say something like, “I’ve been following the New York Times’ coverage of (political movement), and I agree with…”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear the clothes you feel good in.\", \"描述\": \"Magazines have countless articles dictating what women should and should not wear based on a variety of ever-changing variables. Scrap Cosmo and wear whatever makes you feel good. If you have an apple shape and love drop-waist dresses, forget what anyone else says, and rock that drop waist.\\nIf you feel best copying the looks in magazines, own it! Wear and do what makes you feel good.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on loving yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Just as respect comes from self-respect, gaining the love of others requires you to first love yourself. Practice loving yourself outright--your flaws, your quirks, your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Most women struggle with self-loathing at worst, or a hefty list of insecurities at best, so loving yourself with truly set you apart. \\nA simple way to practice loving yourself is to speak kind words to yourself in the mirror each morning. Something as simple as, “You look beautiful today” can boost your confidence.\\nLoving yourself can mean exercising in a way you find fulfilling, or wearing clothes that make you feel your best, even if they aren’t in keeping with the latest trend.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being different from other girls does not require an overhaul of your entire life.\\n\", \"If you notice a way you are different from other girls, be proud of it!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never pretend to be something you’re not just to appear different from the girls around you.\\n\", \"Avoid going out and spending a lot of money on a new wardrobe or makeup routine to impress, as these tend to mask insecurity.\\n\", \"Don’t brag or talk about how you’re different from other girls. If you’re different, people will notice. Remember to also be kind.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJessica George, MA, CHtCertified Professional Master Life Coach\\nExpert Interview. 11 February 2022.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,681 | 19 Ways to Improve Your Diligence and Succeed at Work, School, or in Life | 1. Decide on a goal to work diligently toward.
Choose a specific, attainable goal that’s relevant to your work or life.
Brainstorm something clear with a deadline like “Finish this report by Friday at 5pm” or “Save $1,000 for vacation by the end of the year.” Make it measurable—you’re more likely to save $1,000 than to just put away “as much as you can.”
Choose something that’ll be helpful or rewarding in your work, academic, or personal life. You’ll stay motivated and enjoy the benefits more!
Remember that diligence requires consistent and thorough effort. It may not feel fun at the moment, but the end result makes it worth it.
2. Use a planner or calendar.
Organize your day and deadlines with physical or digital planners.
Choose a weekly or monthly planner for long-term goals or a daily planner to help you manage short-term or last minute tasks. Fill in important dates and deadlines as soon as you know about them (things like exams, special occasions, work deadlines, or even intentional down time).
Use your planner consistently. It takes nearly 2 months to build a secure habit, so remind yourself to use it daily.
Consider color coding your tasks and events with highlighters or sticky notes to keep track of different projects, classes, or commitments.
3. Make to-do lists.
Write a to-do list
Keep your list simple and include only the 3 most important things you must do. Ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I need to get done today?” and make it your #1 priority (and maybe even the only thing on your list).
Tackle the biggest, most important item on your list first thing in the morning (after you’re fully refreshed and ready to work, of course).
If you can’t contain your list to 3 items, make another list of everything you need to do that week, then put it away (this is a brain dump, not a new to-do list).
Break large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of “work on paper today,” try “create paper outline today” and “finish first draft tomorrow.”
4. Get a head start on projects.
Look at deadlines and start working before you’re in “panic mode.”
Resist the urge to procrastinate—at minimum, check out your calendar and plan out when to work on specific aspects of your assignment instead of waiting until the week, day, or night before it’s due.
Aim to finish early. That way, you have some buffer time to edit or make adjustments (or finish your work if an unexpected conflict got in the way).
Talk to professors, supervisors, or colleagues in advance to get an idea of what you need to do if you’re unclear on the details or instructions.
Try to do early, short work sessions instead of cramming an entire project into one day or week.
5. Remove distractions during work time.
Make yourself unavailable to unimportant notifications or interruptions.
Schedule your social media or coffee breaks for after you’ve accomplished something meaningful, and try not to open tabs or apps you don’t actively need for work. Focus on single-tasking rather than multitasking to stay focused and work through your to-do list more efficiently.
Limit your time on the internet, your phone, or in front of the TV to concentrate on your goals.
Remove clutter from your workspace and turn off your phone notifications. Try to only check your emails and messages twice a day to avoid getting derailed.
Complete your 1- to 2-minute “mini-tasks” first thing in the morning to get rid of mental clutter and distractions.
6. Prioritize your tasks.
Push back small tasks and focus on what will move you forward.
Assign letters to each item on your to-do list—A for the most important, B for the second, and so on. To sort through many items, make a matrix with 4 squares—one for “must dos,” and others for “decide or schedule,” “delegate,” and “delete” (you can always un-delete a task later if needed).
Consider upcoming deadlines or whether not doing something will have a major impact on your goals or on others.
If you need help prioritizing, ask a professor, your boss, or a friend to help you decide what’s most important or helpful to get done.
For example, wait to text back a friend you see all the time while you’re wrapping up a presentation.
7. Use your time efficiently.
Schedule your day
Estimate how long each task will take and block off uninterrupted time in your day to knock each one out. If there’s something you’re dreading, try doing it in the morning when you’re fresh and less distracted by the chaos of the day.
Set mini-deadlines for yourself to stay on track. You can always adjust your timeline if something is taking longer than expected or a conflict pops up.
See if you can cancel unnecessary meetings. If you have to go, stick to the agenda to run things efficiently.
8. Find an accountability partner or group.
Select someone trustworthy to motivate you and keep you on track.
Look for friends or family who will encourage you to keep making steps toward your goals, even if your plan isn’t 100% perfect. Check in with them now and then and report on your progress—this will ward off procrastination and help you see what’s realistically doable.
Look for people who have similar goals. If you’re trying to lose weight, a fitness group could be a great place for you to connect with someone.
9. Surround yourself with hardworking people.
Network
Work with people who work hard—their passion and commitment will push you to work better each day. Look for people with positive attitudes, too. You’ll get more done and feel better about it if you’re happy and enjoying yourself!
Chat with people who like to ask questions to help you see a problem from multiple angles.
Stay close to people who have big dreams for themselves. Those dreams don’t have to be similar to yours—it’s the drive and the attitude that count.
10. Get into a great daily routine.
Create a doable routine geared toward advancing your overall goals.
First, decide what needs to go in your routine—do you need more exercise? More sleep? More practice at a certain skill? Then, decide on a few small things you can do each day to accomplish these things. Try out your routine for a week, then evaluate your success.
Be consistent with your time. For example, if you need to practice more scales on the flute, try doing it around the same time each day.
Use a calendar or checklist to track your progress. You’ll feel great when you see you jogged every day if more exercise was your goal.
Reward yourself with something fun once you’ve successfully performed your new routine on a consistent basis.
11. Stay focused on your goal.
Stick to your plan and keep your eyes on the prize to stay motivated.
Keep your enthusiasm up by reminding yourself how happy you’ll feel or how much better your life will be once you hit your goals. Remember that everything worth achieving requires time, discipline, study, or sacrifice—the journey isn’t always fun, but the destination will be!
Use affirmations or mantras to keep your willpower from slipping. Try:
“Success comes to those who want to succeed, and I want to succeed.”
“My career is in my hands.”
“Relax and rejuvenate. A healthy body and mind will always reap superior results.”
12. Reward yourself to stay motivated.
Treat yourself after successes, no matter how frequent or small.
Choose a reward that won’t detract from your goal or accomplishment (for example, don’t get pizza and a milkshake to celebrate losing 3 pounds (1.4 kg)). The bigger your milestone, the bigger your reward can be.
Try something that will relax you or make you feel accomplished, like:
Sleeping in
Ordering out from or going to your favorite restaurant
Taking a day off work
Splurging on something nice for yourself (within reason)
Spending time with friends and family
Rewarding yourself will boost your self-confidence and make you feel more proud and excited about your accomplishments and efforts.
13. Encourage yourself to be flexible.
Adapt to changes in your schedule or workflow to keep moving forward.
Stop and consider how you can change your approach to get things done when conflicts arise. Reschedule meetings or work time, or try a new work strategy or technology tool to help you move forward without your original plan.
Sometimes, stuff happens—reevaluate your goals and determine if your plan still works. Be kind to yourself if life gets in the way (it isn’t your fault).
If something unpredictable like an injury prevents you from meeting a deadline, communicate with your professor or colleagues ASAP.
For example, if you have to do a mass mailing and normally print envelopes individually, try learning a new program that automates the process.
14. Let go of productivity guilt.
Resist the urge to take on too much work and overextend yourself.
Schedule some down time as part of your to-do list to balance out your workload—being diligent doesn’t mean you have to be constantly working. Consider whether additional commitments will let you use your strengths, further your professional, personal, or academic growth, or affect your current obligations.
Set firm boundaries with your schedule. Try to work more efficiently during work time so you can let loose during your free time.
Seek help from friends or colleagues if you’re overwhelmed. Muscling through at the cost of your wellbeing detracts from your diligence in the long run.
15. Develop self-awareness.
Be self-critical of your work style, strengths, and weaknesses.
Meditate on questions like “What am I doing that’s working?” or “What can I do differently?” Be honest in your self-assessment—these questions can apply to your personal life, school, work, and more.
Ask trusted friends about how you come off in social settings, and seek regular feedback at work to learn how others perceive you.
Use self-awareness to deal with burnout. If you’re feeling exhausted, detached, cynical, or ineffective, chances are you can’t work diligently.
Raise your self-awareness to help you work and lead with strong character, authenticity, purpose, and trust.
16. Realize the value of hard work.
Be grateful for and appreciate the benefits of applying yourself.
Remember that hard work does not mean working all the time. Rather, it means dedicating yourself and putting your whole self into a task while you’re working. Besides the obvious rewards, hard work has many benefits, including:
Challenging you to grow and develop as a person
Benefiting others in your community
Being a role model for your peers or children
Keeping yourself occupied with meaningful work
17. Actively participate in your faith (if you’re religious).
Follow your religion's teachings to be spiritually and personally diligent.
Make heartfelt choices according to your faith to spread kindness and build community, like volunteering at local shelters or organizing a donation drive. Strive to make selfless choices free from negative thoughts or lies.
Being diligent in your faith can guide you through difficult choices or decisions in other areas of your life, like work, school, or relationships.
In many religions, diligence means going all in on the teachings of your gods, holy books, or spiritual leaders. Otherwise, you risk falling into sin or failure.
18. Accept that goals change sometimes.
Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Refocus your attention on your methods or desires—maybe there are other ways to get what you want, or you don’t need what you thought you needed before. Give yourself time to regroup, assess your circumstances, and define your new goals or strategies to fit your current life.
Take a step backward if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew or run into a dead end. Sometimes, the way forward requires a short detour.
Create a new to-do list and get to work. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, be diligent and optimistic about the new opportunities you have now.
19. Know when to stop.
Walk away from a goal if it’s risky or goes against your values.
Weigh the pros and cons of going forward with your original plan, logistically and emotionally. Take your time because it isn’t an easy decision to leave your old desires behind. Consider leaving your original goal if:
Your goals have changed—maybe you’re not interested anymore, or your life circumstances have changed and your old goal isn’t the wise choice.
The reward isn’t worth the effort, time, and resources.
You’ve dug yourself into a hole financially, spiritually, or emotionally and can’t get out.
The risks to your health, social or romantic life, or finances outweigh the potential benefits of accomplishing your goal.
Your original goal was unattainable.
Tips
Remember that you’re not a failure if you don’t accomplish your goals or consistently work diligently. If you gave it your best effort and learned something, then you achieved some success!
These strategies work equally well for professional projects, school and classes, personal projects, and more.
Remember to balance your lifestyle. Perform self-care, take time off, and stay present in your relationships with friends and family.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Decide on a goal to work diligently toward.\\nChoose a specific, attainable goal that’s relevant to your work or life.\\nBrainstorm something clear with a deadline like “Finish this report by Friday at 5pm” or “Save $1,000 for vacation by the end of the year.” Make it measurable—you’re more likely to save $1,000 than to just put away “as much as you can.”\\nChoose something that’ll be helpful or rewarding in your work, academic, or personal life. You’ll stay motivated and enjoy the benefits more!\\nRemember that diligence requires consistent and thorough effort. It may not feel fun at the moment, but the end result makes it worth it.\\n2. Use a planner or calendar.\\nOrganize your day and deadlines with physical or digital planners.\\nChoose a weekly or monthly planner for long-term goals or a daily planner to help you manage short-term or last minute tasks. Fill in important dates and deadlines as soon as you know about them (things like exams, special occasions, work deadlines, or even intentional down time).\\n\\nUse your planner consistently. It takes nearly 2 months to build a secure habit, so remind yourself to use it daily.\\nConsider color coding your tasks and events with highlighters or sticky notes to keep track of different projects, classes, or commitments.\\n3. Make to-do lists.\\nWrite a to-do list\\nKeep your list simple and include only the 3 most important things you must do. Ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I need to get done today?” and make it your #1 priority (and maybe even the only thing on your list).\\nTackle the biggest, most important item on your list first thing in the morning (after you’re fully refreshed and ready to work, of course).\\nIf you can’t contain your list to 3 items, make another list of everything you need to do that week, then put it away (this is a brain dump, not a new to-do list).\\nBreak large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of “work on paper today,” try “create paper outline today” and “finish first draft tomorrow.”\\n4. Get a head start on projects.\\nLook at deadlines and start working before you’re in “panic mode.”\\nResist the urge to procrastinate—at minimum, check out your calendar and plan out when to work on specific aspects of your assignment instead of waiting until the week, day, or night before it’s due.\\nAim to finish early. That way, you have some buffer time to edit or make adjustments (or finish your work if an unexpected conflict got in the way).\\nTalk to professors, supervisors, or colleagues in advance to get an idea of what you need to do if you’re unclear on the details or instructions.\\nTry to do early, short work sessions instead of cramming an entire project into one day or week.\\n5. Remove distractions during work time.\\nMake yourself unavailable to unimportant notifications or interruptions.\\nSchedule your social media or coffee breaks for after you’ve accomplished something meaningful, and try not to open tabs or apps you don’t actively need for work. Focus on single-tasking rather than multitasking to stay focused and work through your to-do list more efficiently.\\nLimit your time on the internet, your phone, or in front of the TV to concentrate on your goals.\\nRemove clutter from your workspace and turn off your phone notifications. Try to only check your emails and messages twice a day to avoid getting derailed.\\nComplete your 1- to 2-minute “mini-tasks” first thing in the morning to get rid of mental clutter and distractions.\\n6. Prioritize your tasks.\\nPush back small tasks and focus on what will move you forward.\\nAssign letters to each item on your to-do list—A for the most important, B for the second, and so on. To sort through many items, make a matrix with 4 squares—one for “must dos,” and others for “decide or schedule,” “delegate,” and “delete” (you can always un-delete a task later if needed).\\nConsider upcoming deadlines or whether not doing something will have a major impact on your goals or on others.\\nIf you need help prioritizing, ask a professor, your boss, or a friend to help you decide what’s most important or helpful to get done.\\nFor example, wait to text back a friend you see all the time while you’re wrapping up a presentation.\\n7. Use your time efficiently.\\nSchedule your day\\nEstimate how long each task will take and block off uninterrupted time in your day to knock each one out. If there’s something you’re dreading, try doing it in the morning when you’re fresh and less distracted by the chaos of the day.\\nSet mini-deadlines for yourself to stay on track. You can always adjust your timeline if something is taking longer than expected or a conflict pops up.\\nSee if you can cancel unnecessary meetings. If you have to go, stick to the agenda to run things efficiently.\\n8. Find an accountability partner or group.\\nSelect someone trustworthy to motivate you and keep you on track.\\nLook for friends or family who will encourage you to keep making steps toward your goals, even if your plan isn’t 100% perfect. Check in with them now and then and report on your progress—this will ward off procrastination and help you see what’s realistically doable.\\nLook for people who have similar goals. If you’re trying to lose weight, a fitness group could be a great place for you to connect with someone.\\n9. Surround yourself with hardworking people.\\nNetwork\\nWork with people who work hard—their passion and commitment will push you to work better each day. Look for people with positive attitudes, too. You’ll get more done and feel better about it if you’re happy and enjoying yourself!\\nChat with people who like to ask questions to help you see a problem from multiple angles.\\nStay close to people who have big dreams for themselves. Those dreams don’t have to be similar to yours—it’s the drive and the attitude that count.\\n10. Get into a great daily routine.\\nCreate a doable routine geared toward advancing your overall goals.\\nFirst, decide what needs to go in your routine—do you need more exercise? More sleep? More practice at a certain skill? Then, decide on a few small things you can do each day to accomplish these things. Try out your routine for a week, then evaluate your success.\\nBe consistent with your time. For example, if you need to practice more scales on the flute, try doing it around the same time each day.\\nUse a calendar or checklist to track your progress. You’ll feel great when you see you jogged every day if more exercise was your goal.\\nReward yourself with something fun once you’ve successfully performed your new routine on a consistent basis.\\n11. Stay focused on your goal.\\nStick to your plan and keep your eyes on the prize to stay motivated.\\nKeep your enthusiasm up by reminding yourself how happy you’ll feel or how much better your life will be once you hit your goals. Remember that everything worth achieving requires time, discipline, study, or sacrifice—the journey isn’t always fun, but the destination will be!\\nUse affirmations or mantras to keep your willpower from slipping. Try:\\n“Success comes to those who want to succeed, and I want to succeed.”\\n“My career is in my hands.”\\n“Relax and rejuvenate. A healthy body and mind will always reap superior results.”\\n12. Reward yourself to stay motivated.\\nTreat yourself after successes, no matter how frequent or small.\\nChoose a reward that won’t detract from your goal or accomplishment (for example, don’t get pizza and a milkshake to celebrate losing 3 pounds (1.4 kg)). The bigger your milestone, the bigger your reward can be.\\nTry something that will relax you or make you feel accomplished, like:\\nSleeping in\\nOrdering out from or going to your favorite restaurant\\nTaking a day off work\\nSplurging on something nice for yourself (within reason)\\nSpending time with friends and family\\n\\nRewarding yourself will boost your self-confidence and make you feel more proud and excited about your accomplishments and efforts.\\n13. Encourage yourself to be flexible.\\nAdapt to changes in your schedule or workflow to keep moving forward.\\nStop and consider how you can change your approach to get things done when conflicts arise. Reschedule meetings or work time, or try a new work strategy or technology tool to help you move forward without your original plan.\\nSometimes, stuff happens—reevaluate your goals and determine if your plan still works. Be kind to yourself if life gets in the way (it isn’t your fault).\\nIf something unpredictable like an injury prevents you from meeting a deadline, communicate with your professor or colleagues ASAP.\\nFor example, if you have to do a mass mailing and normally print envelopes individually, try learning a new program that automates the process.\\n14. Let go of productivity guilt.\\nResist the urge to take on too much work and overextend yourself.\\nSchedule some down time as part of your to-do list to balance out your workload—being diligent doesn’t mean you have to be constantly working. Consider whether additional commitments will let you use your strengths, further your professional, personal, or academic growth, or affect your current obligations.\\nSet firm boundaries with your schedule. Try to work more efficiently during work time so you can let loose during your free time.\\nSeek help from friends or colleagues if you’re overwhelmed. Muscling through at the cost of your wellbeing detracts from your diligence in the long run.\\n15. Develop self-awareness.\\nBe self-critical of your work style, strengths, and weaknesses.\\nMeditate on questions like “What am I doing that’s working?” or “What can I do differently?” Be honest in your self-assessment—these questions can apply to your personal life, school, work, and more.\\nAsk trusted friends about how you come off in social settings, and seek regular feedback at work to learn how others perceive you.\\nUse self-awareness to deal with burnout. If you’re feeling exhausted, detached, cynical, or ineffective, chances are you can’t work diligently.\\n\\nRaise your self-awareness to help you work and lead with strong character, authenticity, purpose, and trust.\\n16. Realize the value of hard work.\\nBe grateful for and appreciate the benefits of applying yourself.\\nRemember that hard work does not mean working all the time. Rather, it means dedicating yourself and putting your whole self into a task while you’re working. Besides the obvious rewards, hard work has many benefits, including:\\nChallenging you to grow and develop as a person\\nBenefiting others in your community\\nBeing a role model for your peers or children\\nKeeping yourself occupied with meaningful work\\n17. Actively participate in your faith (if you’re religious).\\nFollow your religion's teachings to be spiritually and personally diligent.\\nMake heartfelt choices according to your faith to spread kindness and build community, like volunteering at local shelters or organizing a donation drive. Strive to make selfless choices free from negative thoughts or lies.\\nBeing diligent in your faith can guide you through difficult choices or decisions in other areas of your life, like work, school, or relationships.\\nIn many religions, diligence means going all in on the teachings of your gods, holy books, or spiritual leaders. Otherwise, you risk falling into sin or failure.\\n18. Accept that goals change sometimes.\\nBe kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.\\nRefocus your attention on your methods or desires—maybe there are other ways to get what you want, or you don’t need what you thought you needed before. Give yourself time to regroup, assess your circumstances, and define your new goals or strategies to fit your current life.\\nTake a step backward if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew or run into a dead end. Sometimes, the way forward requires a short detour.\\nCreate a new to-do list and get to work. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, be diligent and optimistic about the new opportunities you have now.\\n19. Know when to stop.\\nWalk away from a goal if it’s risky or goes against your values.\\nWeigh the pros and cons of going forward with your original plan, logistically and emotionally. Take your time because it isn’t an easy decision to leave your old desires behind. Consider leaving your original goal if:\\nYour goals have changed—maybe you’re not interested anymore, or your life circumstances have changed and your old goal isn’t the wise choice.\\nThe reward isn’t worth the effort, time, and resources.\\nYou’ve dug yourself into a hole financially, spiritually, or emotionally and can’t get out.\\nThe risks to your health, social or romantic life, or finances outweigh the potential benefits of accomplishing your goal.\\nYour original goal was unattainable.\\nTips\\nRemember that you’re not a failure if you don’t accomplish your goals or consistently work diligently. If you gave it your best effort and learned something, then you achieved some success!\\nThese strategies work equally well for professional projects, school and classes, personal projects, and more.\\nRemember to balance your lifestyle. Perform self-care, take time off, and stay present in your relationships with friends and family.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve got a big project coming up and it’s important to do well. You know you’ve got to be diligent, but how? What does that mean, exactly? Diligence is careful and persistent work towards a goal or accomplishment. Being diligent might come naturally to some, but anyone can learn to be diligent with the proper motivation and some consistent, productive habits. Whether you want to be more diligent at school, at work, or in your personal life, we’ll walk you through the most important and effective things you can do to work more efficiently and get stuff done. If you’re ready to make big moves, keep scrolling!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide on a goal to work diligently toward.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a specific, attainable goal that’s relevant to your work or life.\", \"描述\": \"Brainstorm something clear with a deadline like “Finish this report by Friday at 5pm” or “Save $1,000 for vacation by the end of the year.” Make it measurable—you’re more likely to save $1,000 than to just put away “as much as you can.”\\nChoose something that’ll be helpful or rewarding in your work, academic, or personal life. You’ll stay motivated and enjoy the benefits more!\\nRemember that diligence requires consistent and thorough effort. It may not feel fun at the moment, but the end result makes it worth it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a planner or calendar.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organize your day and deadlines with physical or digital planners.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a weekly or monthly planner for long-term goals or a daily planner to help you manage short-term or last minute tasks. Fill in important dates and deadlines as soon as you know about them (things like exams, special occasions, work deadlines, or even intentional down time).\\n\\nUse your planner consistently. It takes nearly 2 months to build a secure habit, so remind yourself to use it daily.\\nConsider color coding your tasks and events with highlighters or sticky notes to keep track of different projects, classes, or commitments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make to-do lists.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a to-do list\", \"描述\": \"Keep your list simple and include only the 3 most important things you must do. Ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I need to get done today?” and make it your #1 priority (and maybe even the only thing on your list).\\nTackle the biggest, most important item on your list first thing in the morning (after you’re fully refreshed and ready to work, of course).\\nIf you can’t contain your list to 3 items, make another list of everything you need to do that week, then put it away (this is a brain dump, not a new to-do list).\\nBreak large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of “work on paper today,” try “create paper outline today” and “finish first draft tomorrow.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a head start on projects.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at deadlines and start working before you’re in “panic mode.”\", \"描述\": \"Resist the urge to procrastinate—at minimum, check out your calendar and plan out when to work on specific aspects of your assignment instead of waiting until the week, day, or night before it’s due.\\nAim to finish early. That way, you have some buffer time to edit or make adjustments (or finish your work if an unexpected conflict got in the way).\\nTalk to professors, supervisors, or colleagues in advance to get an idea of what you need to do if you’re unclear on the details or instructions.\\nTry to do early, short work sessions instead of cramming an entire project into one day or week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remove distractions during work time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself unavailable to unimportant notifications or interruptions.\", \"描述\": \"Schedule your social media or coffee breaks for after you’ve accomplished something meaningful, and try not to open tabs or apps you don’t actively need for work. Focus on single-tasking rather than multitasking to stay focused and work through your to-do list more efficiently.\\nLimit your time on the internet, your phone, or in front of the TV to concentrate on your goals.\\nRemove clutter from your workspace and turn off your phone notifications. Try to only check your emails and messages twice a day to avoid getting derailed.\\nComplete your 1- to 2-minute “mini-tasks” first thing in the morning to get rid of mental clutter and distractions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your tasks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Push back small tasks and focus on what will move you forward.\", \"描述\": \"Assign letters to each item on your to-do list—A for the most important, B for the second, and so on. To sort through many items, make a matrix with 4 squares—one for “must dos,” and others for “decide or schedule,” “delegate,” and “delete” (you can always un-delete a task later if needed).\\nConsider upcoming deadlines or whether not doing something will have a major impact on your goals or on others.\\nIf you need help prioritizing, ask a professor, your boss, or a friend to help you decide what’s most important or helpful to get done.\\nFor example, wait to text back a friend you see all the time while you’re wrapping up a presentation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your time efficiently.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Schedule your day\", \"描述\": \"Estimate how long each task will take and block off uninterrupted time in your day to knock each one out. If there’s something you’re dreading, try doing it in the morning when you’re fresh and less distracted by the chaos of the day.\\nSet mini-deadlines for yourself to stay on track. You can always adjust your timeline if something is taking longer than expected or a conflict pops up.\\nSee if you can cancel unnecessary meetings. If you have to go, stick to the agenda to run things efficiently.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Find an accountability partner or group.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Select someone trustworthy to motivate you and keep you on track.\", \"描述\": \"Look for friends or family who will encourage you to keep making steps toward your goals, even if your plan isn’t 100% perfect. Check in with them now and then and report on your progress—this will ward off procrastination and help you see what’s realistically doable.\\nLook for people who have similar goals. If you’re trying to lose weight, a fitness group could be a great place for you to connect with someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with hardworking people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Network\", \"描述\": \"Work with people who work hard—their passion and commitment will push you to work better each day. Look for people with positive attitudes, too. You’ll get more done and feel better about it if you’re happy and enjoying yourself!\\nChat with people who like to ask questions to help you see a problem from multiple angles.\\nStay close to people who have big dreams for themselves. Those dreams don’t have to be similar to yours—it’s the drive and the attitude that count.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Get into a great daily routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a doable routine geared toward advancing your overall goals.\", \"描述\": \"First, decide what needs to go in your routine—do you need more exercise? More sleep? More practice at a certain skill? Then, decide on a few small things you can do each day to accomplish these things. Try out your routine for a week, then evaluate your success.\\nBe consistent with your time. For example, if you need to practice more scales on the flute, try doing it around the same time each day.\\nUse a calendar or checklist to track your progress. You’ll feel great when you see you jogged every day if more exercise was your goal.\\nReward yourself with something fun once you’ve successfully performed your new routine on a consistent basis.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Stay focused on your goal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to your plan and keep your eyes on the prize to stay motivated.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your enthusiasm up by reminding yourself how happy you’ll feel or how much better your life will be once you hit your goals. Remember that everything worth achieving requires time, discipline, study, or sacrifice—the journey isn’t always fun, but the destination will be!\\nUse affirmations or mantras to keep your willpower from slipping. Try:\\n“Success comes to those who want to succeed, and I want to succeed.”\\n“My career is in my hands.”\\n“Relax and rejuvenate. A healthy body and mind will always reap superior results.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself to stay motivated.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself after successes, no matter how frequent or small.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a reward that won’t detract from your goal or accomplishment (for example, don’t get pizza and a milkshake to celebrate losing 3 pounds (1.4 kg)). The bigger your milestone, the bigger your reward can be.\\nTry something that will relax you or make you feel accomplished, like:\\nSleeping in\\nOrdering out from or going to your favorite restaurant\\nTaking a day off work\\nSplurging on something nice for yourself (within reason)\\nSpending time with friends and family\\n\\nRewarding yourself will boost your self-confidence and make you feel more proud and excited about your accomplishments and efforts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Encourage yourself to be flexible.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adapt to changes in your schedule or workflow to keep moving forward.\", \"描述\": \"Stop and consider how you can change your approach to get things done when conflicts arise. Reschedule meetings or work time, or try a new work strategy or technology tool to help you move forward without your original plan.\\nSometimes, stuff happens—reevaluate your goals and determine if your plan still works. Be kind to yourself if life gets in the way (it isn’t your fault).\\nIf something unpredictable like an injury prevents you from meeting a deadline, communicate with your professor or colleagues ASAP.\\nFor example, if you have to do a mass mailing and normally print envelopes individually, try learning a new program that automates the process.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Let go of productivity guilt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to take on too much work and overextend yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Schedule some down time as part of your to-do list to balance out your workload—being diligent doesn’t mean you have to be constantly working. Consider whether additional commitments will let you use your strengths, further your professional, personal, or academic growth, or affect your current obligations.\\nSet firm boundaries with your schedule. Try to work more efficiently during work time so you can let loose during your free time.\\nSeek help from friends or colleagues if you’re overwhelmed. Muscling through at the cost of your wellbeing detracts from your diligence in the long run.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Develop self-awareness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be self-critical of your work style, strengths, and weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"Meditate on questions like “What am I doing that’s working?” or “What can I do differently?” Be honest in your self-assessment—these questions can apply to your personal life, school, work, and more.\\nAsk trusted friends about how you come off in social settings, and seek regular feedback at work to learn how others perceive you.\\nUse self-awareness to deal with burnout. If you’re feeling exhausted, detached, cynical, or ineffective, chances are you can’t work diligently.\\n\\nRaise your self-awareness to help you work and lead with strong character, authenticity, purpose, and trust.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Realize the value of hard work.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for and appreciate the benefits of applying yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that hard work does not mean working all the time. Rather, it means dedicating yourself and putting your whole self into a task while you’re working. Besides the obvious rewards, hard work has many benefits, including:\\nChallenging you to grow and develop as a person\\nBenefiting others in your community\\nBeing a role model for your peers or children\\nKeeping yourself occupied with meaningful work\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Actively participate in your faith (if you’re religious).\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow your religion's teachings to be spiritually and personally diligent.\", \"描述\": \"Make heartfelt choices according to your faith to spread kindness and build community, like volunteering at local shelters or organizing a donation drive. Strive to make selfless choices free from negative thoughts or lies.\\nBeing diligent in your faith can guide you through difficult choices or decisions in other areas of your life, like work, school, or relationships.\\nIn many religions, diligence means going all in on the teachings of your gods, holy books, or spiritual leaders. Otherwise, you risk falling into sin or failure.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Accept that goals change sometimes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.\", \"描述\": \"Refocus your attention on your methods or desires—maybe there are other ways to get what you want, or you don’t need what you thought you needed before. Give yourself time to regroup, assess your circumstances, and define your new goals or strategies to fit your current life.\\nTake a step backward if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew or run into a dead end. Sometimes, the way forward requires a short detour.\\nCreate a new to-do list and get to work. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, be diligent and optimistic about the new opportunities you have now.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Know when to stop.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk away from a goal if it’s risky or goes against your values.\", \"描述\": \"Weigh the pros and cons of going forward with your original plan, logistically and emotionally. Take your time because it isn’t an easy decision to leave your old desires behind. Consider leaving your original goal if:\\nYour goals have changed—maybe you’re not interested anymore, or your life circumstances have changed and your old goal isn’t the wise choice.\\nThe reward isn’t worth the effort, time, and resources.\\nYou’ve dug yourself into a hole financially, spiritually, or emotionally and can’t get out.\\nThe risks to your health, social or romantic life, or finances outweigh the potential benefits of accomplishing your goal.\\nYour original goal was unattainable.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that you’re not a failure if you don’t accomplish your goals or consistently work diligently. If you gave it your best effort and learned something, then you achieved some success!\\n\", \"These strategies work equally well for professional projects, school and classes, personal projects, and more.\\n\", \"Remember to balance your lifestyle. Perform self-care, take time off, and stay present in your relationships with friends and family.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,682 | How to Be Diplomatic | 1. Communicating Effectively
1-1. Choose your words carefully.
Remember that though your intentions may be good, sometimes your words might hurt others. Before speaking about a sensitive topic, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is true, helpful and kind. Use “I” statements to describe your own thoughts instead of guessing at what others think or feel.
For instance, you can say “I’m feeling uncomfortable with the decision made in today’s meeting” instead of “You should be upset about that decision today.”
Always make statements from your own point of view and perspective.
Avoid being defensive or blaming others.
If you need to discuss something serious with someone, practice your words beforehand.
1-2. Adapt your communication style based on the situation.
Always know your audience before delivering a message. This will help to ensure that it is well received and understood. Determine whether email or in-person communication works best or if news is best delivered in groups or in one-on-one settings.
For instance, perhaps you need to tell your staff that there will be budget cuts. In the past you may have used email to deliver sensitive information, but have found that caused confusion. Call a staff meeting instead and deliver the facts while providing time for questions.
Schedule individual meetings as necessary or requested.
1-3. Be open to new ideas.
Instead of always making decisions on your own, listen to the perspectives of others. Thank them for telling you how they feel so that they always feel comfortable doing so. Take time to consider others’ opinions, but stand firm by your own decisions when you feel that you have made the best choice.
Say “Thank you for your honesty, Jason. I’ll take what you said about universal healthcare into consideration and I’ll do more research.”
1-4. Be assertive with your words and body language.
When speaking to others, don’t be aggressive, but do be confident. Speak slowly and deliberately. Sit with your legs and arms uncrossed and look people in the eye when they are speaking.
You should still acknowledge when you don't know something. For example, say, "I'm not sure about that subject and don't know the answer right now, but I'll be sure to look into it further."
1-5. Use indirect language.
Instead of being overly direct about your thoughts and feelings, add a bit of fluff. Make suggestions instead of telling people what to do. A diplomatic person does not bark out orders, but finds ways to inspire others to action instead. Your goal should be to collaborate with your team and encourage them to do their best.
For instance, if you are managing a conflict between your children, you might say “You two might want to consider a better way to divide up the space in your room so that you fight less.”
You can say to an employee who’s often late “Have you considered taking the interstate to work instead? It’s a bit quicker in my experience.” If you choose to say this, say it to someone who you have a good relationship with. It could be perceived as passive-aggressive in some contexts.
1-6. Mind your manners.
Having good manners is key to diplomacy. Wait your turn to speak and never interrupt others. Be encouraging and avoid hurling insults. Keep your voice at a natural and neutral level and avoid cursing or yelling.
1-7. Control your emotions.
Perhaps you have to work with people who you really don’t like or whose actions you consider offensive. However, being diplomatic is not just for those you get along with. Practice deep-breathing techniques to calm you when others stress you out. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to use the restroom.
Consider trying a meditation app such as Insight Timer to help you manage your emotions.
Alternatively, you could try grounding yourself in the moment. Focus your attention on how your feet feel against the floor or how your buttocks feels against your chair.
2. Addressing Difficult Situations
2-1. Pick a non-stressful time to talk.
If you need to have a conversation with someone over something serious, do so when you are both calm. This will help ensure that you can have a reasonable conversation.
2-2. Start with a positive comment when giving bad news.
Before delivering upsetting information, ease the mood with some positive feedback or news. This will keep the other person calm and establish trust.
Perhaps you are declining a wedding invitation. Instead of just replying “no,” send a card that says “Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I know it will be a beautiful day. Unfortunately, I have a work event, but I wish you nothing but the best and will mail my gift to you.”
Be sure to do this when giving constructive criticism, as well.
2-3. Focus on the facts of the situation.
Before a major talk, consider the facts. You don’t want to enter into conversation relying too much on emotion or opinion, but on reason and logic instead. During your talk, avoid blaming others or becoming defensive. You should not take things personally.
Perhaps your office is undergoing a restructure. Rather than going to your boss and saying “I don’t like these changes” say “With our department having increased our sales by double in the last quarter, making cuts here will severely affect our ability to make a profit.”
2-4. Find ways to compromise with others.
Determine both your goal and the goals of others. Think about what you desire to gain as well as what your counterpart wants and look for ways that these interests overlap.
For instance, perhaps your spouse wants to move so the kids can go to a better school. You might want to stay because it’s close to your office. Consider private schools or moving just one town over.
2-5. Express your likes and dislikes to create beneficial situations for everyone.
Once you have spoken about each of your objectives, find ways to negotiate. Diplomacy often involves giving up some things so that you can have other things that you desire. Be willing to do so for the sake of compromise and progress.
Perhaps you are creating a chore list for you and your roommate. You may not mind doing the dishes but hate working outdoors. Perhaps your roommate has the opposite feeling. Offer to take on dish duty in the place of yard work.
2-6. React calmly when given bad news.
Perhaps your boss tells you that you are being fired or your spouse says they are leaving you. Instead of yelling, hurling insults, or having a meltdown, show maturity through remaining calm. Take several deep breaths in and out. Respond positively and step away as needed to collect yourself.
For instance, to your boss you might say “I’m very sorry to hear this. Is there a particular reason and is this a final decision?”
Don't numb out your emotions or escape from them with things like drugs or alcohol. Instead, talk with a friend, engage in a fun activity, or get some exercise. If you are really struggling, see a therapist or counselor.
2-7. Speak well of others.
When others are gossiping, don’t add fuel to the fire. You might work in a toxic environment where rumors are often spread, but don’t be a part of that. Refraining from gossip shows to others that you have character and integrity.
2-8. Be honest and show people your true self.
A major element of being diplomatic is being real. When having these tough conversations, it’s vital to be truthful with others. If not, you won’t be able to get what you want and people won’t be able to form genuine relationships with you.
Maybe you made an error on a project that has affected your team. Instead of shifting blame, say “I made an error on the report and that’s why we’ve been getting so many calls today. I apologize and I’m working to fix it. Let me know if you all have questions or need help.”
2-9. Take a step back from the conversation.
Avoid making difficult decisions on the spot. Instead of making decisions that you’ll regret, walk away for a moment to think.
For instance, you might be a supervisor working with an employee who is asking to work from home one day a week. Before saying ‘no’ immediately, consider their needs and reasoning. Find a way to compromise if possible and offer this flexibility to other staff as well.
3. Building Rapport with Others
3-1. Make small talk to create comfort.
A major part of diplomacy is helping others feel comfortable with you. Instead of jumping right into a serious talk, establish a level of friendliness with others. Talk about each other's weekends, spouses, kids or hobbies. Discuss the latest news or TV shows that you’re watching. Help them feel at ease by showing your interest in their lives.
Inject humor where you can.
3-2. Mirror their body language.
Show empathy for them by mimicking their gestures and posture. If they are sitting with their hand resting under their chin, do the same. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation.
Smile at them when you see them at first, as well.
3-3. Use their name in conversation.
People often respond positively to the use of their own name. Every so often, use their name while you’re talking.
It can be something simple like “Where would you like to have lunch, Kyle?” or something more serious like “Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.”
3-4. Be an attentive listener.
When having a talk with someone, avoid using your phone or daydreaming. Instead, actively listen to them so that you can understand their perspective. Relay back what they said to you to prove that you hear them.
For instance, you might say “It sounds like having to take care of your mother and your small child is really taking a toll on your health.”
3-5. Ask them questions.
Show that you’re listening to them by learning more about what they’re discussing. Ask them open-ended questions that require thought and more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.
Ask something like “Wow, you went to Greece? What made you decide to go there and what did you like best?”
Tips
Many great books offer tips on diplomacy. For instance, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," written by Dale Carnegie, offers a lot of excellent advice on this subject.
Warnings
Be careful with the use of the word "No." You should try to listen well to others' point of view and agree that you understand their point of view, though not necessarily agreeing with what they said.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating Effectively\\n1-1. Choose your words carefully.\\nRemember that though your intentions may be good, sometimes your words might hurt others. Before speaking about a sensitive topic, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is true, helpful and kind. Use “I” statements to describe your own thoughts instead of guessing at what others think or feel.\\nFor instance, you can say “I’m feeling uncomfortable with the decision made in today’s meeting” instead of “You should be upset about that decision today.”\\nAlways make statements from your own point of view and perspective.\\nAvoid being defensive or blaming others.\\nIf you need to discuss something serious with someone, practice your words beforehand.\\n1-2. Adapt your communication style based on the situation.\\nAlways know your audience before delivering a message. This will help to ensure that it is well received and understood. Determine whether email or in-person communication works best or if news is best delivered in groups or in one-on-one settings.\\nFor instance, perhaps you need to tell your staff that there will be budget cuts. In the past you may have used email to deliver sensitive information, but have found that caused confusion. Call a staff meeting instead and deliver the facts while providing time for questions.\\nSchedule individual meetings as necessary or requested.\\n1-3. Be open to new ideas.\\nInstead of always making decisions on your own, listen to the perspectives of others. Thank them for telling you how they feel so that they always feel comfortable doing so. Take time to consider others’ opinions, but stand firm by your own decisions when you feel that you have made the best choice.\\nSay “Thank you for your honesty, Jason. I’ll take what you said about universal healthcare into consideration and I’ll do more research.”\\n1-4. Be assertive with your words and body language.\\nWhen speaking to others, don’t be aggressive, but do be confident. Speak slowly and deliberately. Sit with your legs and arms uncrossed and look people in the eye when they are speaking.\\nYou should still acknowledge when you don't know something. For example, say, \\\"I'm not sure about that subject and don't know the answer right now, but I'll be sure to look into it further.\\\"\\n1-5. Use indirect language.\\nInstead of being overly direct about your thoughts and feelings, add a bit of fluff. Make suggestions instead of telling people what to do. A diplomatic person does not bark out orders, but finds ways to inspire others to action instead. Your goal should be to collaborate with your team and encourage them to do their best.\\nFor instance, if you are managing a conflict between your children, you might say “You two might want to consider a better way to divide up the space in your room so that you fight less.”\\nYou can say to an employee who’s often late “Have you considered taking the interstate to work instead? It’s a bit quicker in my experience.” If you choose to say this, say it to someone who you have a good relationship with. It could be perceived as passive-aggressive in some contexts.\\n1-6. Mind your manners.\\nHaving good manners is key to diplomacy. Wait your turn to speak and never interrupt others. Be encouraging and avoid hurling insults. Keep your voice at a natural and neutral level and avoid cursing or yelling.\\n1-7. Control your emotions.\\nPerhaps you have to work with people who you really don’t like or whose actions you consider offensive. However, being diplomatic is not just for those you get along with. Practice deep-breathing techniques to calm you when others stress you out. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to use the restroom.\\nConsider trying a meditation app such as Insight Timer to help you manage your emotions.\\nAlternatively, you could try grounding yourself in the moment. Focus your attention on how your feet feel against the floor or how your buttocks feels against your chair.\\n2. Addressing Difficult Situations\\n2-1. Pick a non-stressful time to talk.\\nIf you need to have a conversation with someone over something serious, do so when you are both calm. This will help ensure that you can have a reasonable conversation.\\n2-2. Start with a positive comment when giving bad news.\\nBefore delivering upsetting information, ease the mood with some positive feedback or news. This will keep the other person calm and establish trust.\\nPerhaps you are declining a wedding invitation. Instead of just replying “no,” send a card that says “Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I know it will be a beautiful day. Unfortunately, I have a work event, but I wish you nothing but the best and will mail my gift to you.”\\nBe sure to do this when giving constructive criticism, as well.\\n2-3. Focus on the facts of the situation.\\nBefore a major talk, consider the facts. You don’t want to enter into conversation relying too much on emotion or opinion, but on reason and logic instead. During your talk, avoid blaming others or becoming defensive. You should not take things personally.\\nPerhaps your office is undergoing a restructure. Rather than going to your boss and saying “I don’t like these changes” say “With our department having increased our sales by double in the last quarter, making cuts here will severely affect our ability to make a profit.”\\n2-4. Find ways to compromise with others.\\nDetermine both your goal and the goals of others. Think about what you desire to gain as well as what your counterpart wants and look for ways that these interests overlap.\\nFor instance, perhaps your spouse wants to move so the kids can go to a better school. You might want to stay because it’s close to your office. Consider private schools or moving just one town over.\\n2-5. Express your likes and dislikes to create beneficial situations for everyone.\\nOnce you have spoken about each of your objectives, find ways to negotiate. Diplomacy often involves giving up some things so that you can have other things that you desire. Be willing to do so for the sake of compromise and progress.\\nPerhaps you are creating a chore list for you and your roommate. You may not mind doing the dishes but hate working outdoors. Perhaps your roommate has the opposite feeling. Offer to take on dish duty in the place of yard work.\\n2-6. React calmly when given bad news.\\nPerhaps your boss tells you that you are being fired or your spouse says they are leaving you. Instead of yelling, hurling insults, or having a meltdown, show maturity through remaining calm. Take several deep breaths in and out. Respond positively and step away as needed to collect yourself.\\nFor instance, to your boss you might say “I’m very sorry to hear this. Is there a particular reason and is this a final decision?”\\nDon't numb out your emotions or escape from them with things like drugs or alcohol. Instead, talk with a friend, engage in a fun activity, or get some exercise. If you are really struggling, see a therapist or counselor.\\n2-7. Speak well of others.\\nWhen others are gossiping, don’t add fuel to the fire. You might work in a toxic environment where rumors are often spread, but don’t be a part of that. Refraining from gossip shows to others that you have character and integrity.\\n2-8. Be honest and show people your true self.\\nA major element of being diplomatic is being real. When having these tough conversations, it’s vital to be truthful with others. If not, you won’t be able to get what you want and people won’t be able to form genuine relationships with you.\\nMaybe you made an error on a project that has affected your team. Instead of shifting blame, say “I made an error on the report and that’s why we’ve been getting so many calls today. I apologize and I’m working to fix it. Let me know if you all have questions or need help.”\\n2-9. Take a step back from the conversation.\\nAvoid making difficult decisions on the spot. Instead of making decisions that you’ll regret, walk away for a moment to think.\\nFor instance, you might be a supervisor working with an employee who is asking to work from home one day a week. Before saying ‘no’ immediately, consider their needs and reasoning. Find a way to compromise if possible and offer this flexibility to other staff as well.\\n3. Building Rapport with Others\\n3-1. Make small talk to create comfort.\\nA major part of diplomacy is helping others feel comfortable with you. Instead of jumping right into a serious talk, establish a level of friendliness with others. Talk about each other's weekends, spouses, kids or hobbies. Discuss the latest news or TV shows that you’re watching. Help them feel at ease by showing your interest in their lives.\\nInject humor where you can.\\n3-2. Mirror their body language.\\nShow empathy for them by mimicking their gestures and posture. If they are sitting with their hand resting under their chin, do the same. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation.\\nSmile at them when you see them at first, as well.\\n3-3. Use their name in conversation.\\nPeople often respond positively to the use of their own name. Every so often, use their name while you’re talking.\\nIt can be something simple like “Where would you like to have lunch, Kyle?” or something more serious like “Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.”\\n3-4. Be an attentive listener.\\nWhen having a talk with someone, avoid using your phone or daydreaming. Instead, actively listen to them so that you can understand their perspective. Relay back what they said to you to prove that you hear them.\\nFor instance, you might say “It sounds like having to take care of your mother and your small child is really taking a toll on your health.”\\n3-5. Ask them questions.\\nShow that you’re listening to them by learning more about what they’re discussing. Ask them open-ended questions that require thought and more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.\\nAsk something like “Wow, you went to Greece? What made you decide to go there and what did you like best?”\\nTips\\nMany great books offer tips on diplomacy. For instance, \\\"How to Win Friends and Influence People,\\\" written by Dale Carnegie, offers a lot of excellent advice on this subject.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful with the use of the word \\\"No.\\\" You should try to listen well to others' point of view and agree that you understand their point of view, though not necessarily agreeing with what they said.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Perhaps you are a manager looking to create a more positive work environment or maybe you are just looking to learn better conflict resolution skills. Diplomacy involves evaluating a situation before speaking or acting and taking the best course of action. While diplomacy can be difficult in certain situations, you can remain poised by being tactful, defusing difficult situations, and building relationships with others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose your words carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that though your intentions may be good, sometimes your words might hurt others. Before speaking about a sensitive topic, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is true, helpful and kind. Use “I” statements to describe your own thoughts instead of guessing at what others think or feel.\\nFor instance, you can say “I’m feeling uncomfortable with the decision made in today’s meeting” instead of “You should be upset about that decision today.”\\nAlways make statements from your own point of view and perspective.\\nAvoid being defensive or blaming others.\\nIf you need to discuss something serious with someone, practice your words beforehand.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adapt your communication style based on the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Always know your audience before delivering a message. This will help to ensure that it is well received and understood. Determine whether email or in-person communication works best or if news is best delivered in groups or in one-on-one settings.\\nFor instance, perhaps you need to tell your staff that there will be budget cuts. In the past you may have used email to deliver sensitive information, but have found that caused confusion. Call a staff meeting instead and deliver the facts while providing time for questions.\\nSchedule individual meetings as necessary or requested.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be open to new ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of always making decisions on your own, listen to the perspectives of others. Thank them for telling you how they feel so that they always feel comfortable doing so. Take time to consider others’ opinions, but stand firm by your own decisions when you feel that you have made the best choice.\\nSay “Thank you for your honesty, Jason. I’ll take what you said about universal healthcare into consideration and I’ll do more research.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be assertive with your words and body language.\", \"描述\": \"When speaking to others, don’t be aggressive, but do be confident. Speak slowly and deliberately. Sit with your legs and arms uncrossed and look people in the eye when they are speaking.\\nYou should still acknowledge when you don't know something. For example, say, \\\"I'm not sure about that subject and don't know the answer right now, but I'll be sure to look into it further.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use indirect language.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of being overly direct about your thoughts and feelings, add a bit of fluff. Make suggestions instead of telling people what to do. A diplomatic person does not bark out orders, but finds ways to inspire others to action instead. Your goal should be to collaborate with your team and encourage them to do their best.\\nFor instance, if you are managing a conflict between your children, you might say “You two might want to consider a better way to divide up the space in your room so that you fight less.”\\nYou can say to an employee who’s often late “Have you considered taking the interstate to work instead? It’s a bit quicker in my experience.” If you choose to say this, say it to someone who you have a good relationship with. It could be perceived as passive-aggressive in some contexts.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Mind your manners.\", \"描述\": \"Having good manners is key to diplomacy. Wait your turn to speak and never interrupt others. Be encouraging and avoid hurling insults. Keep your voice at a natural and neutral level and avoid cursing or yelling.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Control your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you have to work with people who you really don’t like or whose actions you consider offensive. However, being diplomatic is not just for those you get along with. Practice deep-breathing techniques to calm you when others stress you out. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to use the restroom.\\nConsider trying a meditation app such as Insight Timer to help you manage your emotions.\\nAlternatively, you could try grounding yourself in the moment. Focus your attention on how your feet feel against the floor or how your buttocks feels against your chair.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Addressing Difficult Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a non-stressful time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to have a conversation with someone over something serious, do so when you are both calm. This will help ensure that you can have a reasonable conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with a positive comment when giving bad news.\", \"描述\": \"Before delivering upsetting information, ease the mood with some positive feedback or news. This will keep the other person calm and establish trust.\\nPerhaps you are declining a wedding invitation. Instead of just replying “no,” send a card that says “Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I know it will be a beautiful day. Unfortunately, I have a work event, but I wish you nothing but the best and will mail my gift to you.”\\nBe sure to do this when giving constructive criticism, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on the facts of the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Before a major talk, consider the facts. You don’t want to enter into conversation relying too much on emotion or opinion, but on reason and logic instead. During your talk, avoid blaming others or becoming defensive. You should not take things personally.\\nPerhaps your office is undergoing a restructure. Rather than going to your boss and saying “I don’t like these changes” say “With our department having increased our sales by double in the last quarter, making cuts here will severely affect our ability to make a profit.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find ways to compromise with others.\", \"描述\": \"Determine both your goal and the goals of others. Think about what you desire to gain as well as what your counterpart wants and look for ways that these interests overlap.\\nFor instance, perhaps your spouse wants to move so the kids can go to a better school. You might want to stay because it’s close to your office. Consider private schools or moving just one town over.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Express your likes and dislikes to create beneficial situations for everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have spoken about each of your objectives, find ways to negotiate. Diplomacy often involves giving up some things so that you can have other things that you desire. Be willing to do so for the sake of compromise and progress.\\nPerhaps you are creating a chore list for you and your roommate. You may not mind doing the dishes but hate working outdoors. Perhaps your roommate has the opposite feeling. Offer to take on dish duty in the place of yard work.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"React calmly when given bad news.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps your boss tells you that you are being fired or your spouse says they are leaving you. Instead of yelling, hurling insults, or having a meltdown, show maturity through remaining calm. Take several deep breaths in and out. Respond positively and step away as needed to collect yourself.\\nFor instance, to your boss you might say “I’m very sorry to hear this. Is there a particular reason and is this a final decision?”\\nDon't numb out your emotions or escape from them with things like drugs or alcohol. Instead, talk with a friend, engage in a fun activity, or get some exercise. If you are really struggling, see a therapist or counselor.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Speak well of others.\", \"描述\": \"When others are gossiping, don’t add fuel to the fire. You might work in a toxic environment where rumors are often spread, but don’t be a part of that. Refraining from gossip shows to others that you have character and integrity.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be honest and show people your true self.\", \"描述\": \"A major element of being diplomatic is being real. When having these tough conversations, it’s vital to be truthful with others. If not, you won’t be able to get what you want and people won’t be able to form genuine relationships with you.\\nMaybe you made an error on a project that has affected your team. Instead of shifting blame, say “I made an error on the report and that’s why we’ve been getting so many calls today. I apologize and I’m working to fix it. Let me know if you all have questions or need help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Take a step back from the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid making difficult decisions on the spot. Instead of making decisions that you’ll regret, walk away for a moment to think.\\nFor instance, you might be a supervisor working with an employee who is asking to work from home one day a week. Before saying ‘no’ immediately, consider their needs and reasoning. Find a way to compromise if possible and offer this flexibility to other staff as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Rapport with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make small talk to create comfort.\", \"描述\": \"A major part of diplomacy is helping others feel comfortable with you. Instead of jumping right into a serious talk, establish a level of friendliness with others. Talk about each other's weekends, spouses, kids or hobbies. Discuss the latest news or TV shows that you’re watching. Help them feel at ease by showing your interest in their lives.\\nInject humor where you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mirror their body language.\", \"描述\": \"Show empathy for them by mimicking their gestures and posture. If they are sitting with their hand resting under their chin, do the same. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation.\\nSmile at them when you see them at first, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use their name in conversation.\", \"描述\": \"People often respond positively to the use of their own name. Every so often, use their name while you’re talking.\\nIt can be something simple like “Where would you like to have lunch, Kyle?” or something more serious like “Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be an attentive listener.\", \"描述\": \"When having a talk with someone, avoid using your phone or daydreaming. Instead, actively listen to them so that you can understand their perspective. Relay back what they said to you to prove that you hear them.\\nFor instance, you might say “It sounds like having to take care of your mother and your small child is really taking a toll on your health.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them questions.\", \"描述\": \"Show that you’re listening to them by learning more about what they’re discussing. Ask them open-ended questions that require thought and more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.\\nAsk something like “Wow, you went to Greece? What made you decide to go there and what did you like best?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Many great books offer tips on diplomacy. For instance, \\\"How to Win Friends and Influence People,\\\" written by Dale Carnegie, offers a lot of excellent advice on this subject.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful with the use of the word \\\"No.\\\" You should try to listen well to others' point of view and agree that you understand their point of view, though not necessarily agreeing with what they said.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,683 | 9 Strategies to Deal Diplomatically with Difficult Family Members | 1. Stay calm, even if your relatives are getting excited.
If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a breather.
Try not to let your emotions take over, even though it might be tough. Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth as you count to 10.
The calmer you are, the more you’ll be able to handle a difficult family member who is trying to get you worked up.
If you can’t stay calm, it might be time to leave the situation. Step outside or into the other room to gather your thoughts and collect yourself.
2. Be assertive about your wants and needs.
Stay confident and forceful about what you’re communicating.
You don’t have to be mean or raise your voice, but don’t let anyone talk over you or belittle you. Make it clear that you’re here to be heard, not walked all over.
Although it can feel tough to hold your ground with family (especially with relatives who are older than you), it’s a super important aspect of feeling like your voice is being heard.
Try saying something like, “I’m only here to talk about Grandpa’s will, and I don’t want to discuss anything else right now. If you have any questions, please wait until I’m done talking.”
3. Set clear boundaries.
Don’t let people yell or talk down to you.
If anyone pushes it, say something like, “I’m not going to let you talk to me that way. Please lower your voice.” If they continue to push your boundaries, it may be best to drop the conversation and try again another day.
You could also say something like, “I want to have a conversation with you, but I can’t do that if you keep talking to me like that.”
Other boundaries you might want to set include a timeframe for communication (“Only call me during the daytime, not at night when I’m trying to sleep”) or how long you’re going to stay in town for (“I only took 1 week off of work, and I can’t stay any longer”).
4. Stick to neutral topics.
Politics and religion tend to get people worked up.
If your family members bring anything like that up, try not to engage. Instead, change the subject to something neutral that won’t start heated arguments, such as the weather, sports, or non-controversial current events.
If one of your relatives keeps pushing to talk about something you’re uncomfortable with, try saying, “That’s not what I’m here to talk about today,” and move on.
5. Let the other person be right.
Even if you don’t agree, there are some things you can let go.
Rather than arguing about everything your family says, try to pick your battles, and let your family members feel like they’ve “won” sometimes. You don’t have to do this all the time (and don’t do it for important stuff), but if it doesn’t really matter, just let it go.
For instance, your family member might try to debate you about politics. If you two have opposing views, it’s probably not worth getting into. Let them feel like they’re right so you can move onto more productive topics of conversation.
Say something like, “Okay, I hear what you’re saying. I don’t want to debate with you right now. Let’s move on.”
6. Focus on the things you can control.
You can control your own reactions to other people.
While you’ll never be able to control what someone else does, you can change the way you react for the better. Keep reminding yourself of that fact, especially when the situations get tough.
For instance, if a family member insults you, you don’t have to react by yelling at them. Instead, you can stay calm and simply change the subject or leave the situation all together.
Or, if a family member tries to invade your privacy, you can react by setting clear boundaries. Don’t give in just because it might be easier or because you want to placate someone.
7. Try not to take things personally.
Difficult family members are not your fault.
Although it’s easy to take on that burden, try to remember that the problem is with them, not with you. If you can separate their actions from yourself, you’ll be more able to shrug things off.
Oftentimes, a person is a collection of their childhood trauma. Try to look at it that way—your family member isn’t being nasty because there’s something wrong with your life, they’re being nasty because there is (or was) something wrong with theirs.
8. Don’t try to change a difficult person.
You don’t have to like them, but you can’t change them, either.
A difficult person won’t take criticism well, and unfortunately, you might just make the problem worse. Try to accept your family members for who they are, even if you have a tough time getting along with them.
Try to remember the term “radical acceptance.” It’s accepting something that you know you can’t change, even though you don’t like it or agree with it.
9. Practice self-care.
Family issues can really take a toll on you.
Make sure you’re eating, drinking, and sleeping enough so you feel well-rested and healthy. Take some time to do something relaxing like soaking in the bath or reading a good book to lower your overall stress levels. Don’t let your mental and physical health fall by the wayside as you deal with your family.
If you feel guilty about taking care of your own needs, try saying “It’s not selfish to take care of myself.”
It can also help to talk to someone supportive, like a trusted family member, a minister, or a therapist.
Tips
If you’re having a lot of issues with your family members, a mediator or a counselor may be able to help foster communication.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Stay calm, even if your relatives are getting excited.\\nIf you feel yourself getting worked up, take a breather.\\nTry not to let your emotions take over, even though it might be tough. Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth as you count to 10.\\nThe calmer you are, the more you’ll be able to handle a difficult family member who is trying to get you worked up.\\nIf you can’t stay calm, it might be time to leave the situation. Step outside or into the other room to gather your thoughts and collect yourself.\\n2. Be assertive about your wants and needs.\\nStay confident and forceful about what you’re communicating.\\nYou don’t have to be mean or raise your voice, but don’t let anyone talk over you or belittle you. Make it clear that you’re here to be heard, not walked all over.\\nAlthough it can feel tough to hold your ground with family (especially with relatives who are older than you), it’s a super important aspect of feeling like your voice is being heard.\\nTry saying something like, “I’m only here to talk about Grandpa’s will, and I don’t want to discuss anything else right now. If you have any questions, please wait until I’m done talking.”\\n3. Set clear boundaries.\\nDon’t let people yell or talk down to you.\\nIf anyone pushes it, say something like, “I’m not going to let you talk to me that way. Please lower your voice.” If they continue to push your boundaries, it may be best to drop the conversation and try again another day.\\nYou could also say something like, “I want to have a conversation with you, but I can’t do that if you keep talking to me like that.”\\nOther boundaries you might want to set include a timeframe for communication (“Only call me during the daytime, not at night when I’m trying to sleep”) or how long you’re going to stay in town for (“I only took 1 week off of work, and I can’t stay any longer”).\\n4. Stick to neutral topics.\\nPolitics and religion tend to get people worked up.\\nIf your family members bring anything like that up, try not to engage. Instead, change the subject to something neutral that won’t start heated arguments, such as the weather, sports, or non-controversial current events.\\nIf one of your relatives keeps pushing to talk about something you’re uncomfortable with, try saying, “That’s not what I’m here to talk about today,” and move on.\\n5. Let the other person be right.\\nEven if you don’t agree, there are some things you can let go.\\nRather than arguing about everything your family says, try to pick your battles, and let your family members feel like they’ve “won” sometimes. You don’t have to do this all the time (and don’t do it for important stuff), but if it doesn’t really matter, just let it go.\\nFor instance, your family member might try to debate you about politics. If you two have opposing views, it’s probably not worth getting into. Let them feel like they’re right so you can move onto more productive topics of conversation.\\nSay something like, “Okay, I hear what you’re saying. I don’t want to debate with you right now. Let’s move on.”\\n6. Focus on the things you can control.\\nYou can control your own reactions to other people.\\nWhile you’ll never be able to control what someone else does, you can change the way you react for the better. Keep reminding yourself of that fact, especially when the situations get tough.\\nFor instance, if a family member insults you, you don’t have to react by yelling at them. Instead, you can stay calm and simply change the subject or leave the situation all together.\\nOr, if a family member tries to invade your privacy, you can react by setting clear boundaries. Don’t give in just because it might be easier or because you want to placate someone.\\n7. Try not to take things personally.\\nDifficult family members are not your fault.\\nAlthough it’s easy to take on that burden, try to remember that the problem is with them, not with you. If you can separate their actions from yourself, you’ll be more able to shrug things off.\\nOftentimes, a person is a collection of their childhood trauma. Try to look at it that way—your family member isn’t being nasty because there’s something wrong with your life, they’re being nasty because there is (or was) something wrong with theirs.\\n8. Don’t try to change a difficult person.\\nYou don’t have to like them, but you can’t change them, either.\\nA difficult person won’t take criticism well, and unfortunately, you might just make the problem worse. Try to accept your family members for who they are, even if you have a tough time getting along with them.\\nTry to remember the term “radical acceptance.” It’s accepting something that you know you can’t change, even though you don’t like it or agree with it.\\n9. Practice self-care.\\nFamily issues can really take a toll on you.\\nMake sure you’re eating, drinking, and sleeping enough so you feel well-rested and healthy. Take some time to do something relaxing like soaking in the bath or reading a good book to lower your overall stress levels. Don’t let your mental and physical health fall by the wayside as you deal with your family.\\nIf you feel guilty about taking care of your own needs, try saying “It’s not selfish to take care of myself.”\\nIt can also help to talk to someone supportive, like a trusted family member, a minister, or a therapist.\\nTips\\nIf you’re having a lot of issues with your family members, a mediator or a counselor may be able to help foster communication.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Since you can’t choose your family members, there’s bound to be a couple of them who know how to push your buttons. Fortunately, there are a few tips and tricks you can use to remain diplomatic, even during a difficult conversation. Keep reading to learn how you can stay calm, cool, and collected while talking with difficult family members.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm, even if your relatives are getting excited.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a breather.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to let your emotions take over, even though it might be tough. Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth as you count to 10.\\nThe calmer you are, the more you’ll be able to handle a difficult family member who is trying to get you worked up.\\nIf you can’t stay calm, it might be time to leave the situation. Step outside or into the other room to gather your thoughts and collect yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be assertive about your wants and needs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay confident and forceful about what you’re communicating.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be mean or raise your voice, but don’t let anyone talk over you or belittle you. Make it clear that you’re here to be heard, not walked all over.\\nAlthough it can feel tough to hold your ground with family (especially with relatives who are older than you), it’s a super important aspect of feeling like your voice is being heard.\\nTry saying something like, “I’m only here to talk about Grandpa’s will, and I don’t want to discuss anything else right now. If you have any questions, please wait until I’m done talking.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set clear boundaries.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t let people yell or talk down to you.\", \"描述\": \"If anyone pushes it, say something like, “I’m not going to let you talk to me that way. Please lower your voice.” If they continue to push your boundaries, it may be best to drop the conversation and try again another day.\\nYou could also say something like, “I want to have a conversation with you, but I can’t do that if you keep talking to me like that.”\\nOther boundaries you might want to set include a timeframe for communication (“Only call me during the daytime, not at night when I’m trying to sleep”) or how long you’re going to stay in town for (“I only took 1 week off of work, and I can’t stay any longer”).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stick to neutral topics.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Politics and religion tend to get people worked up.\", \"描述\": \"If your family members bring anything like that up, try not to engage. Instead, change the subject to something neutral that won’t start heated arguments, such as the weather, sports, or non-controversial current events.\\nIf one of your relatives keeps pushing to talk about something you’re uncomfortable with, try saying, “That’s not what I’m here to talk about today,” and move on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let the other person be right.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even if you don’t agree, there are some things you can let go.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than arguing about everything your family says, try to pick your battles, and let your family members feel like they’ve “won” sometimes. You don’t have to do this all the time (and don’t do it for important stuff), but if it doesn’t really matter, just let it go.\\nFor instance, your family member might try to debate you about politics. If you two have opposing views, it’s probably not worth getting into. Let them feel like they’re right so you can move onto more productive topics of conversation.\\nSay something like, “Okay, I hear what you’re saying. I don’t want to debate with you right now. Let’s move on.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Focus on the things you can control.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can control your own reactions to other people.\", \"描述\": \"While you’ll never be able to control what someone else does, you can change the way you react for the better. Keep reminding yourself of that fact, especially when the situations get tough.\\nFor instance, if a family member insults you, you don’t have to react by yelling at them. Instead, you can stay calm and simply change the subject or leave the situation all together.\\nOr, if a family member tries to invade your privacy, you can react by setting clear boundaries. Don’t give in just because it might be easier or because you want to placate someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try not to take things personally.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Difficult family members are not your fault.\", \"描述\": \"Although it’s easy to take on that burden, try to remember that the problem is with them, not with you. If you can separate their actions from yourself, you’ll be more able to shrug things off.\\nOftentimes, a person is a collection of their childhood trauma. Try to look at it that way—your family member isn’t being nasty because there’s something wrong with your life, they’re being nasty because there is (or was) something wrong with theirs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to change a difficult person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t have to like them, but you can’t change them, either.\", \"描述\": \"A difficult person won’t take criticism well, and unfortunately, you might just make the problem worse. Try to accept your family members for who they are, even if you have a tough time getting along with them.\\nTry to remember the term “radical acceptance.” It’s accepting something that you know you can’t change, even though you don’t like it or agree with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Practice self-care.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Family issues can really take a toll on you.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you’re eating, drinking, and sleeping enough so you feel well-rested and healthy. Take some time to do something relaxing like soaking in the bath or reading a good book to lower your overall stress levels. Don’t let your mental and physical health fall by the wayside as you deal with your family.\\nIf you feel guilty about taking care of your own needs, try saying “It’s not selfish to take care of myself.”\\nIt can also help to talk to someone supportive, like a trusted family member, a minister, or a therapist.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re having a lot of issues with your family members, a mediator or a counselor may be able to help foster communication.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,684 | How to Be Discovered As a Singer (Teens) | 1. Defining Your Goals
1-1. Understand what a professional singer actually does.
A lot of people who want to be discovered as a singer really mean that they want to be discovered as a super star. But there's a difference, and a timeline, between the two. Think about this:
A professional singer is someone with substantial experience and usually musical education under her or his belt.
A professional singer is someone who sings and performs on a very regular basis, from one to five times a week and several hours per night. Her or his success can remain local or go global.
A superstar might come out of a great singer, but that person didn't necessarily have to be a professional singer previously.
A superstar usually achieves international and sometimes global success.
1-2. Dig deep and find out why you want to be a singer.
Much like any other career path, passion is key in paving your road to success. But if that passion is based solely on the desire for money and fame, your career (and happiness) might be short lived. Try to think about the following questions:
What do you get out of singing?
Where/what venues are your favorite performance sites?
In what particular field do you want to earn respect and appreciation?
Do you enjoy large or small audiences?
Is recognition of your talent more important to you than the actual performing?
1-3. Don't base your goals on other people's ideas.
Maybe your parents want you to be the next Pavarotti and insanely wealthy. Always ask yourself if that is also what you truly want.
1-4. Be realistic about how much time you can devote to your goal.
As in most other professions, lots of practice is absolutely necessary. Not just for the quality of tone, but also for your own comfort level.
Make it a goal to practice at least a few times a week, and ideally every day.
Hold yourself accountable by entering your planned practice times in a calendar or planner.
2. Refining Your Skills
2-1. Be patient.
Remember the saying, "all good things come to those who wait"? As in many other aspects of life, being patient can make a big difference in the final outcome. Don't rush things. And take time to refine your skills.
2-2. Find a comfortable and quiet place to practice.
Practice, practice, practice, and then practice some more. As previously mentioned, allot some time on a daily or weekly basis to polish your talent. Here are some suggestions on where you might want to practice:
Find a place where you can be alone and undisturbed for your entire practice.
Bathrooms, stairwells, and the hallway can provide great acoustics.
Sing in your car on your way to work, shopping, or any destination.
If you need any instruments or tools to accompany your practice, make sure to leave them set up for the next time.
2-3. Figure out what time works best for your practice.
Are you a morning person? Or do you prefer to work late into the night? Understanding your internal clock and lifestyle can make a big difference in how effective and satisfying your singing practice will be. Any time is a good time as long as it fits your lifestyle. Some things to consider might be:
Is your home very crowded/loud during the day?
Do you entertain guests at night on a regular basis?
Do you have commitments during certain hours that might derail your practice?
Try to practice for at least 15 to 60 minutes at a time.
2-4. Meditate on a regular basis.
Research has shown that consistent and mindful awareness can help you reap benefits in many situations and for many objectives. Going to a guided meditation session can be very useful at first, especially if you have little to no experience with this practice.
2-5. Consider private singing lessons or enrolling in a formal training program.
While some singers achieve great success without ever taking lessons, it certainly never hurts and can only improve your skills. Plus, you might meet important people in the industry.
3. Exposing Your Talent
3-1. Be humble.
At an early stage, you can't afford to say no to any offer. Yes, even if it's singing at a children's birthday party or at your school event. Remember, these are all great opportunities to practice your singing and to become comfortable on stage.
3-2. Consider auditioning for local bands.
There are many benefits to not starting off solo, one of which is the camaraderie and networking opportunities you might get from joining forces with other like-minded musicians.
3-3. Know where the action is.
You won't need to move right away, but you do eventually want to put yourself in the right field of vision. In other words, stay on top of where music is produced and where people tend to be discovered. This might also depend on your chosen music field. For example:
Nashville is the place to be if you're aiming to be in the country music industry.
Los Angeles or New York are general centers for music and entertainment.
3-4. Use social media.
If you're like most teens today, you're probably completely comfortable using social media to communicate with peers and friends. Take it to the next level by applying your tech know-how to promote yourself and your music.
Create a Business Facebook Page to keep people and potential fans posted on what you've been doing, and where you'll be performing next.
Ask people to "like" you on your Facebook Page (yes, even if it's super uncomfortable for you).
Keep your Facebook Page up-to-date. This is very important, and something that a lot of people neglect.
Link your new Facebook Page to your Twitter account for additional exposure.
3-5. Print out fliers and ask appropriate locations to post them in their lobby.
Appropriate spaces might be bars, clubs, and/or restaurants, to only name a few. You could also post your fliers in coffee shops, and anywhere that will allow you to.
3-6. Record music on your own.
You shouldn't have to wait until a record label signs you in order to get your music heard. At this stage, you need to find a music studio that will engineer your music with you. There are, most likely, many options out there. Focus on finding a studio with affordable rates. Keep some of the following things in mind:
Visit as many studios as you can.
Inquire about who exactly will be working with you on your recording.
Research the studio to get a feel of other artists' experiences.
Though the cost matters, it's crucial that the studio of your choice has the newest technology.
Check that their technology actually works.
Try singing in their recording booth to get a sense of the acoustics.
3-7. Decide exactly what song(s) you want to record.
Most studios record 2 hours a session, and they're usually not cheap, so make sure you know what piece(s) you want out first. Keep in mind that most labels only listen from 20 to 30 seconds of what you submit, so you need to record the absolute best song(s) you have.
3-8. Sign up to offer your music on iTunes.
Once you've gotten your music recorded, consider selling it on iTunes. It can be an excellent way to get your music out faster, and see how people like it. It's free to sign up, though additional terms of sale apply for any music you sell directly through it. Here are some pointers:
Have your Universal Product Code (UPC) and International Standard Recording Code (ISRC) at hand.
Have your tax I.D. ready. It's required for the verification process through iTunes.
3-9. Don't give up.
Even if you don't achieve the success you want after multiple attempts, keep trying. Remember, nothing worthwhile comes quickly or easily.
Tips
Practice makes perfect! Perfection is one of the main things to get realized!
Love what you are doing.
Try to learn how to play an instrument if you don't already.
Warnings
If you don't make it at first, keep trying.
Do not copy anyone's lyrics, tunes, or band names. See an entertainment attorney for advice if you're unsure about your choices.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Defining Your Goals\\n1-1. Understand what a professional singer actually does.\\nA lot of people who want to be discovered as a singer really mean that they want to be discovered as a super star. But there's a difference, and a timeline, between the two. Think about this:\\nA professional singer is someone with substantial experience and usually musical education under her or his belt.\\nA professional singer is someone who sings and performs on a very regular basis, from one to five times a week and several hours per night. Her or his success can remain local or go global.\\nA superstar might come out of a great singer, but that person didn't necessarily have to be a professional singer previously.\\nA superstar usually achieves international and sometimes global success.\\n1-2. Dig deep and find out why you want to be a singer.\\nMuch like any other career path, passion is key in paving your road to success. But if that passion is based solely on the desire for money and fame, your career (and happiness) might be short lived. Try to think about the following questions:\\nWhat do you get out of singing?\\nWhere/what venues are your favorite performance sites?\\nIn what particular field do you want to earn respect and appreciation?\\nDo you enjoy large or small audiences?\\nIs recognition of your talent more important to you than the actual performing?\\n1-3. Don't base your goals on other people's ideas.\\nMaybe your parents want you to be the next Pavarotti and insanely wealthy. Always ask yourself if that is also what you truly want.\\n1-4. Be realistic about how much time you can devote to your goal.\\nAs in most other professions, lots of practice is absolutely necessary. Not just for the quality of tone, but also for your own comfort level.\\nMake it a goal to practice at least a few times a week, and ideally every day.\\nHold yourself accountable by entering your planned practice times in a calendar or planner.\\n2. Refining Your Skills\\n2-1. Be patient.\\nRemember the saying, \\\"all good things come to those who wait\\\"? As in many other aspects of life, being patient can make a big difference in the final outcome. Don't rush things. And take time to refine your skills.\\n2-2. Find a comfortable and quiet place to practice.\\nPractice, practice, practice, and then practice some more. As previously mentioned, allot some time on a daily or weekly basis to polish your talent. Here are some suggestions on where you might want to practice:\\nFind a place where you can be alone and undisturbed for your entire practice.\\nBathrooms, stairwells, and the hallway can provide great acoustics.\\nSing in your car on your way to work, shopping, or any destination.\\nIf you need any instruments or tools to accompany your practice, make sure to leave them set up for the next time.\\n2-3. Figure out what time works best for your practice.\\nAre you a morning person? Or do you prefer to work late into the night? Understanding your internal clock and lifestyle can make a big difference in how effective and satisfying your singing practice will be. Any time is a good time as long as it fits your lifestyle. Some things to consider might be:\\nIs your home very crowded/loud during the day?\\nDo you entertain guests at night on a regular basis?\\nDo you have commitments during certain hours that might derail your practice?\\nTry to practice for at least 15 to 60 minutes at a time.\\n2-4. Meditate on a regular basis.\\nResearch has shown that consistent and mindful awareness can help you reap benefits in many situations and for many objectives. Going to a guided meditation session can be very useful at first, especially if you have little to no experience with this practice.\\n2-5. Consider private singing lessons or enrolling in a formal training program.\\nWhile some singers achieve great success without ever taking lessons, it certainly never hurts and can only improve your skills. Plus, you might meet important people in the industry.\\n3. Exposing Your Talent\\n3-1. Be humble.\\nAt an early stage, you can't afford to say no to any offer. Yes, even if it's singing at a children's birthday party or at your school event. Remember, these are all great opportunities to practice your singing and to become comfortable on stage.\\n3-2. Consider auditioning for local bands.\\nThere are many benefits to not starting off solo, one of which is the camaraderie and networking opportunities you might get from joining forces with other like-minded musicians.\\n3-3. Know where the action is.\\nYou won't need to move right away, but you do eventually want to put yourself in the right field of vision. In other words, stay on top of where music is produced and where people tend to be discovered. This might also depend on your chosen music field. For example:\\nNashville is the place to be if you're aiming to be in the country music industry.\\nLos Angeles or New York are general centers for music and entertainment.\\n3-4. Use social media.\\nIf you're like most teens today, you're probably completely comfortable using social media to communicate with peers and friends. Take it to the next level by applying your tech know-how to promote yourself and your music.\\nCreate a Business Facebook Page to keep people and potential fans posted on what you've been doing, and where you'll be performing next.\\nAsk people to \\\"like\\\" you on your Facebook Page (yes, even if it's super uncomfortable for you).\\nKeep your Facebook Page up-to-date. This is very important, and something that a lot of people neglect.\\nLink your new Facebook Page to your Twitter account for additional exposure.\\n3-5. Print out fliers and ask appropriate locations to post them in their lobby.\\nAppropriate spaces might be bars, clubs, and/or restaurants, to only name a few. You could also post your fliers in coffee shops, and anywhere that will allow you to.\\n3-6. Record music on your own.\\nYou shouldn't have to wait until a record label signs you in order to get your music heard. At this stage, you need to find a music studio that will engineer your music with you. There are, most likely, many options out there. Focus on finding a studio with affordable rates. Keep some of the following things in mind:\\nVisit as many studios as you can.\\nInquire about who exactly will be working with you on your recording.\\nResearch the studio to get a feel of other artists' experiences.\\nThough the cost matters, it's crucial that the studio of your choice has the newest technology.\\nCheck that their technology actually works.\\nTry singing in their recording booth to get a sense of the acoustics.\\n3-7. Decide exactly what song(s) you want to record.\\nMost studios record 2 hours a session, and they're usually not cheap, so make sure you know what piece(s) you want out first. Keep in mind that most labels only listen from 20 to 30 seconds of what you submit, so you need to record the absolute best song(s) you have.\\n3-8. Sign up to offer your music on iTunes.\\nOnce you've gotten your music recorded, consider selling it on iTunes. It can be an excellent way to get your music out faster, and see how people like it. It's free to sign up, though additional terms of sale apply for any music you sell directly through it. Here are some pointers:\\nHave your Universal Product Code (UPC) and International Standard Recording Code (ISRC) at hand.\\nHave your tax I.D. ready. It's required for the verification process through iTunes.\\n3-9. Don't give up.\\nEven if you don't achieve the success you want after multiple attempts, keep trying. Remember, nothing worthwhile comes quickly or easily.\\nTips\\nPractice makes perfect! Perfection is one of the main things to get realized!\\nLove what you are doing.\\nTry to learn how to play an instrument if you don't already.\\nWarnings\\nIf you don't make it at first, keep trying.\\nDo not copy anyone's lyrics, tunes, or band names. See an entertainment attorney for advice if you're unsure about your choices.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Perhaps you've been thinking about taking your singing outside of the shower, and into the world. If your main goal is to be discovered as a singer, read on to find out just what it takes to make it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Defining Your Goals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what a professional singer actually does.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people who want to be discovered as a singer really mean that they want to be discovered as a super star. But there's a difference, and a timeline, between the two. Think about this:\\nA professional singer is someone with substantial experience and usually musical education under her or his belt.\\nA professional singer is someone who sings and performs on a very regular basis, from one to five times a week and several hours per night. Her or his success can remain local or go global.\\nA superstar might come out of a great singer, but that person didn't necessarily have to be a professional singer previously.\\nA superstar usually achieves international and sometimes global success.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dig deep and find out why you want to be a singer.\", \"描述\": \"Much like any other career path, passion is key in paving your road to success. But if that passion is based solely on the desire for money and fame, your career (and happiness) might be short lived. Try to think about the following questions:\\nWhat do you get out of singing?\\nWhere/what venues are your favorite performance sites?\\nIn what particular field do you want to earn respect and appreciation?\\nDo you enjoy large or small audiences?\\nIs recognition of your talent more important to you than the actual performing?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't base your goals on other people's ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe your parents want you to be the next Pavarotti and insanely wealthy. Always ask yourself if that is also what you truly want.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be realistic about how much time you can devote to your goal.\", \"描述\": \"As in most other professions, lots of practice is absolutely necessary. Not just for the quality of tone, but also for your own comfort level.\\nMake it a goal to practice at least a few times a week, and ideally every day.\\nHold yourself accountable by entering your planned practice times in a calendar or planner.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Refining Your Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Remember the saying, \\\"all good things come to those who wait\\\"? As in many other aspects of life, being patient can make a big difference in the final outcome. Don't rush things. And take time to refine your skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a comfortable and quiet place to practice.\", \"描述\": \"Practice, practice, practice, and then practice some more. As previously mentioned, allot some time on a daily or weekly basis to polish your talent. Here are some suggestions on where you might want to practice:\\nFind a place where you can be alone and undisturbed for your entire practice.\\nBathrooms, stairwells, and the hallway can provide great acoustics.\\nSing in your car on your way to work, shopping, or any destination.\\nIf you need any instruments or tools to accompany your practice, make sure to leave them set up for the next time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Figure out what time works best for your practice.\", \"描述\": \"Are you a morning person? Or do you prefer to work late into the night? Understanding your internal clock and lifestyle can make a big difference in how effective and satisfying your singing practice will be. Any time is a good time as long as it fits your lifestyle. Some things to consider might be:\\nIs your home very crowded/loud during the day?\\nDo you entertain guests at night on a regular basis?\\nDo you have commitments during certain hours that might derail your practice?\\nTry to practice for at least 15 to 60 minutes at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Meditate on a regular basis.\", \"描述\": \"Research has shown that consistent and mindful awareness can help you reap benefits in many situations and for many objectives. Going to a guided meditation session can be very useful at first, especially if you have little to no experience with this practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider private singing lessons or enrolling in a formal training program.\", \"描述\": \"While some singers achieve great success without ever taking lessons, it certainly never hurts and can only improve your skills. Plus, you might meet important people in the industry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exposing Your Talent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be humble.\", \"描述\": \"At an early stage, you can't afford to say no to any offer. Yes, even if it's singing at a children's birthday party or at your school event. Remember, these are all great opportunities to practice your singing and to become comfortable on stage.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider auditioning for local bands.\", \"描述\": \"There are many benefits to not starting off solo, one of which is the camaraderie and networking opportunities you might get from joining forces with other like-minded musicians.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know where the action is.\", \"描述\": \"You won't need to move right away, but you do eventually want to put yourself in the right field of vision. In other words, stay on top of where music is produced and where people tend to be discovered. This might also depend on your chosen music field. For example:\\nNashville is the place to be if you're aiming to be in the country music industry.\\nLos Angeles or New York are general centers for music and entertainment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use social media.\", \"描述\": \"If you're like most teens today, you're probably completely comfortable using social media to communicate with peers and friends. Take it to the next level by applying your tech know-how to promote yourself and your music.\\nCreate a Business Facebook Page to keep people and potential fans posted on what you've been doing, and where you'll be performing next.\\nAsk people to \\\"like\\\" you on your Facebook Page (yes, even if it's super uncomfortable for you).\\nKeep your Facebook Page up-to-date. This is very important, and something that a lot of people neglect.\\nLink your new Facebook Page to your Twitter account for additional exposure.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Print out fliers and ask appropriate locations to post them in their lobby.\", \"描述\": \"Appropriate spaces might be bars, clubs, and/or restaurants, to only name a few. You could also post your fliers in coffee shops, and anywhere that will allow you to.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Record music on your own.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn't have to wait until a record label signs you in order to get your music heard. At this stage, you need to find a music studio that will engineer your music with you. There are, most likely, many options out there. Focus on finding a studio with affordable rates. Keep some of the following things in mind:\\nVisit as many studios as you can.\\nInquire about who exactly will be working with you on your recording.\\nResearch the studio to get a feel of other artists' experiences.\\nThough the cost matters, it's crucial that the studio of your choice has the newest technology.\\nCheck that their technology actually works.\\nTry singing in their recording booth to get a sense of the acoustics.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Decide exactly what song(s) you want to record.\", \"描述\": \"Most studios record 2 hours a session, and they're usually not cheap, so make sure you know what piece(s) you want out first. Keep in mind that most labels only listen from 20 to 30 seconds of what you submit, so you need to record the absolute best song(s) you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sign up to offer your music on iTunes.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've gotten your music recorded, consider selling it on iTunes. It can be an excellent way to get your music out faster, and see how people like it. It's free to sign up, though additional terms of sale apply for any music you sell directly through it. Here are some pointers:\\nHave your Universal Product Code (UPC) and International Standard Recording Code (ISRC) at hand.\\nHave your tax I.D. ready. It's required for the verification process through iTunes.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't give up.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't achieve the success you want after multiple attempts, keep trying. Remember, nothing worthwhile comes quickly or easily.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Practice makes perfect! Perfection is one of the main things to get realized!\\n\", \"Love what you are doing.\\n\", \"Try to learn how to play an instrument if you don't already.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you don't make it at first, keep trying.\\n\", \"Do not copy anyone's lyrics, tunes, or band names. See an entertainment attorney for advice if you're unsure about your choices.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,685 | How to Be Down to Earth | 1. Working on Your Habits
1-1. Consider why you want to be down to earth.
Perhaps you want to change your demeanor because your behavior bothers other people. You may seek to reform your habits for the sake of peace or happiness, or to bring your life into greater balance. Perhaps you feel that you are living beyond your means, or that you can't control your feelings, or that you spend too much of your life with your head in the clouds.
1-2. Start small.
There is no one way to be "down to earth," and there is no single big change that you can make to immediately become "down to earth." It is a lifestyle, a demeanor, and a label. It is a collection of habits. Thus: if you want to be more down to earth, you'll need to start by changing your habits. Try to identify specific behaviors that do not feel "down to earth," and begin by gradually changing these behaviors.
There are many ways to be "down to earth." Ultimately, this is a quality that you want to see in yourself, and a quality that you may not find in your current way of being. Start from where you are.
1-3. Hold yourself accountable.
It can be hard to stay self-aware, especially when you are evaluating the way that you act on a day-to-day basis. Look for someone that you trust to hold you accountable – a friend, a family member, a teacher, a counselor. Speak frankly with this person about your desire to be more down to earth. Together, identify specific habits and behaviors that you can change to reach your goal. Ask the person to keep an eye on the way that you're acting, and check in with them periodically to review your progress.
2. Being Down to Earth in Your Demeanor
2-1. Be humble
Do not inflate your own self-worth. Do not let your identity become wrapped up in wealth, or status, or material things. Remind yourself that other people's needs and perspectives are just as important as your own. You may be better at certain things than most people, but you may not be so good at other things. Let go of the ego, and keep perspective.
2-2. Think before you speak.
Slow down and say exactly what you mean. Catch yourself when you are not being mindful of the people around you. Be straightforward and unpretentious. Try not make assumptions about people or situations, and try not to needlessly hurt anyone with your words.
Learn to express what you want without making demands. Explain yourself, when possible, and ask rather than order. Instead of saying, "Take out the trash," say "Do you mind taking out the trash so that I can keep cooking dinner?"
2-3. Look beyond yourself.
Maintain personal hygiene, but seriously consider how much time you spend looking in the mirror. Think about how often you mindlessly check your phone or your Facebook account. Try to spend less energy on your social and physical appearance, and spend more energy on things beyond yourself. Volunteer your time, and go out of your way to help others. Do this until it is second nature.
2-4. Accept people for who they are.
Instead of trying to change them or criticize them: try to learn from them. Focus less on how people are different, and more on how people are similar. Try to see the silver lining in every situation.
Confront hate in your life. If there is someone that you strongly dislike, try to objectively consider why you dislike them. Think about whether they're really doing anything wrong.
Treat everyone as a human being. There is no reason to feel inferior or superior. Try to treat people on the basis of character, not personality.
2-5. Listen to people.
Be present and attentive, and don't just wait for your chance to speak. Value someone's right to speak, even if you do not agree with what they're saying. Never turn your back on people or interrupt them while they're talking. Respect people as you would like to be respected.
3. Leading a Down to Earth Lifestyle
3-1. Keep the big picture in mind.
Try to not to get too tangled up in the details. Remind yourself that things will work out one way or another, and that even the worst of situations will eventually pass. Don't give up on the important things, but try to recognize the details that are merely distracting you.
3-2. Lead a simple life
Separate your needs from your wants, and try to focus on the things that are truly important. Consume only what you need, and be mindful of how much waste you produce. Live within your means, whatever that means for you.
Avoid overspending. Buy things for their practical function, not for how they look or how they will make you look.
Simplify. Go through your possessions, and sell or donate the things that you don't use or need. Stop holding onto things just because they're "yours."
3-3. Live in accordance with your values.
Connect with the people, the places, and the causes that are important to you. Care about the planet, the future, and the people in your life. Learn to live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle, and think seriously about your impact.
3-4. Be grateful for what you have.
Appreciate how wonderfully lucky you are to be alive, breathing, and growing in this moment. Show your gratitude for the people who make your life worth living: friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances.
Accept your life for what it is. Don't give up on your dreams and aspirations – but do not try to make a fantasy a reality.
Cultivate a gratitude practice. Make a habit of thanking people and complimenting people. Every morning, write down five things for which you are grateful.
3-5. Be patient and thoughtful.
Accept the things that you cannot change, and work to thoughtfully change the things that you cannot accept. Be aware of your surroundings, particularly the way that your behavior affects the way that other people feel. Don't be afraid to wait, or to go with the flow.
Tips
Learn how to play a musical instrument. This can help you express yourself in beautiful ways.
Getting a good therapist may help you become more down to earth.
Sit and listen to music for a while. It will calm you down.
Warnings
Don't become too detached when trying to be down to earth. You still should be able to maintain connections with others.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Working on Your Habits\\n1-1. Consider why you want to be down to earth.\\nPerhaps you want to change your demeanor because your behavior bothers other people. You may seek to reform your habits for the sake of peace or happiness, or to bring your life into greater balance. Perhaps you feel that you are living beyond your means, or that you can't control your feelings, or that you spend too much of your life with your head in the clouds.\\n1-2. Start small.\\nThere is no one way to be \\\"down to earth,\\\" and there is no single big change that you can make to immediately become \\\"down to earth.\\\" It is a lifestyle, a demeanor, and a label. It is a collection of habits. Thus: if you want to be more down to earth, you'll need to start by changing your habits. Try to identify specific behaviors that do not feel \\\"down to earth,\\\" and begin by gradually changing these behaviors.\\nThere are many ways to be \\\"down to earth.\\\" Ultimately, this is a quality that you want to see in yourself, and a quality that you may not find in your current way of being. Start from where you are.\\n1-3. Hold yourself accountable.\\nIt can be hard to stay self-aware, especially when you are evaluating the way that you act on a day-to-day basis. Look for someone that you trust to hold you accountable – a friend, a family member, a teacher, a counselor. Speak frankly with this person about your desire to be more down to earth. Together, identify specific habits and behaviors that you can change to reach your goal. Ask the person to keep an eye on the way that you're acting, and check in with them periodically to review your progress.\\n2. Being Down to Earth in Your Demeanor\\n2-1. Be humble\\nDo not inflate your own self-worth. Do not let your identity become wrapped up in wealth, or status, or material things. Remind yourself that other people's needs and perspectives are just as important as your own. You may be better at certain things than most people, but you may not be so good at other things. Let go of the ego, and keep perspective.\\n2-2. Think before you speak.\\nSlow down and say exactly what you mean. Catch yourself when you are not being mindful of the people around you. Be straightforward and unpretentious. Try not make assumptions about people or situations, and try not to needlessly hurt anyone with your words.\\nLearn to express what you want without making demands. Explain yourself, when possible, and ask rather than order. Instead of saying, \\\"Take out the trash,\\\" say \\\"Do you mind taking out the trash so that I can keep cooking dinner?\\\"\\n2-3. Look beyond yourself.\\nMaintain personal hygiene, but seriously consider how much time you spend looking in the mirror. Think about how often you mindlessly check your phone or your Facebook account. Try to spend less energy on your social and physical appearance, and spend more energy on things beyond yourself. Volunteer your time, and go out of your way to help others. Do this until it is second nature.\\n2-4. Accept people for who they are.\\nInstead of trying to change them or criticize them: try to learn from them. Focus less on how people are different, and more on how people are similar. Try to see the silver lining in every situation.\\nConfront hate in your life. If there is someone that you strongly dislike, try to objectively consider why you dislike them. Think about whether they're really doing anything wrong.\\nTreat everyone as a human being. There is no reason to feel inferior or superior. Try to treat people on the basis of character, not personality.\\n2-5. Listen to people.\\nBe present and attentive, and don't just wait for your chance to speak. Value someone's right to speak, even if you do not agree with what they're saying. Never turn your back on people or interrupt them while they're talking. Respect people as you would like to be respected.\\n3. Leading a Down to Earth Lifestyle\\n3-1. Keep the big picture in mind.\\nTry to not to get too tangled up in the details. Remind yourself that things will work out one way or another, and that even the worst of situations will eventually pass. Don't give up on the important things, but try to recognize the details that are merely distracting you.\\n3-2. Lead a simple life\\nSeparate your needs from your wants, and try to focus on the things that are truly important. Consume only what you need, and be mindful of how much waste you produce. Live within your means, whatever that means for you.\\nAvoid overspending. Buy things for their practical function, not for how they look or how they will make you look.\\nSimplify. Go through your possessions, and sell or donate the things that you don't use or need. Stop holding onto things just because they're \\\"yours.\\\"\\n3-3. Live in accordance with your values.\\nConnect with the people, the places, and the causes that are important to you. Care about the planet, the future, and the people in your life. Learn to live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle, and think seriously about your impact.\\n3-4. Be grateful for what you have.\\nAppreciate how wonderfully lucky you are to be alive, breathing, and growing in this moment. Show your gratitude for the people who make your life worth living: friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances.\\nAccept your life for what it is. Don't give up on your dreams and aspirations – but do not try to make a fantasy a reality.\\nCultivate a gratitude practice. Make a habit of thanking people and complimenting people. Every morning, write down five things for which you are grateful.\\n3-5. Be patient and thoughtful.\\nAccept the things that you cannot change, and work to thoughtfully change the things that you cannot accept. Be aware of your surroundings, particularly the way that your behavior affects the way that other people feel. Don't be afraid to wait, or to go with the flow.\\nTips\\nLearn how to play a musical instrument. This can help you express yourself in beautiful ways.\\nGetting a good therapist may help you become more down to earth.\\nSit and listen to music for a while. It will calm you down.\\nWarnings\\nDon't become too detached when trying to be down to earth. You still should be able to maintain connections with others.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You want to be more down to earth. People who are considered \\\"down to earth\\\" tend to act humble, practical, and unassuming. This is a way of being, and it is certainly something that you can cultivate. Begin by confronting your ego and looking beyond yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working on Your Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider why you want to be down to earth.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you want to change your demeanor because your behavior bothers other people. You may seek to reform your habits for the sake of peace or happiness, or to bring your life into greater balance. Perhaps you feel that you are living beyond your means, or that you can't control your feelings, or that you spend too much of your life with your head in the clouds.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start small.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one way to be \\\"down to earth,\\\" and there is no single big change that you can make to immediately become \\\"down to earth.\\\" It is a lifestyle, a demeanor, and a label. It is a collection of habits. Thus: if you want to be more down to earth, you'll need to start by changing your habits. Try to identify specific behaviors that do not feel \\\"down to earth,\\\" and begin by gradually changing these behaviors.\\nThere are many ways to be \\\"down to earth.\\\" Ultimately, this is a quality that you want to see in yourself, and a quality that you may not find in your current way of being. Start from where you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself accountable.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to stay self-aware, especially when you are evaluating the way that you act on a day-to-day basis. Look for someone that you trust to hold you accountable – a friend, a family member, a teacher, a counselor. Speak frankly with this person about your desire to be more down to earth. Together, identify specific habits and behaviors that you can change to reach your goal. Ask the person to keep an eye on the way that you're acting, and check in with them periodically to review your progress.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Down to Earth in Your Demeanor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be humble\", \"描述\": \"Do not inflate your own self-worth. Do not let your identity become wrapped up in wealth, or status, or material things. Remind yourself that other people's needs and perspectives are just as important as your own. You may be better at certain things than most people, but you may not be so good at other things. Let go of the ego, and keep perspective.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Slow down and say exactly what you mean. Catch yourself when you are not being mindful of the people around you. Be straightforward and unpretentious. Try not make assumptions about people or situations, and try not to needlessly hurt anyone with your words.\\nLearn to express what you want without making demands. Explain yourself, when possible, and ask rather than order. Instead of saying, \\\"Take out the trash,\\\" say \\\"Do you mind taking out the trash so that I can keep cooking dinner?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look beyond yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain personal hygiene, but seriously consider how much time you spend looking in the mirror. Think about how often you mindlessly check your phone or your Facebook account. Try to spend less energy on your social and physical appearance, and spend more energy on things beyond yourself. Volunteer your time, and go out of your way to help others. Do this until it is second nature.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept people for who they are.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of trying to change them or criticize them: try to learn from them. Focus less on how people are different, and more on how people are similar. Try to see the silver lining in every situation.\\nConfront hate in your life. If there is someone that you strongly dislike, try to objectively consider why you dislike them. Think about whether they're really doing anything wrong.\\nTreat everyone as a human being. There is no reason to feel inferior or superior. Try to treat people on the basis of character, not personality.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to people.\", \"描述\": \"Be present and attentive, and don't just wait for your chance to speak. Value someone's right to speak, even if you do not agree with what they're saying. Never turn your back on people or interrupt them while they're talking. Respect people as you would like to be respected.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leading a Down to Earth Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep the big picture in mind.\", \"描述\": \"Try to not to get too tangled up in the details. Remind yourself that things will work out one way or another, and that even the worst of situations will eventually pass. Don't give up on the important things, but try to recognize the details that are merely distracting you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lead a simple life\", \"描述\": \"Separate your needs from your wants, and try to focus on the things that are truly important. Consume only what you need, and be mindful of how much waste you produce. Live within your means, whatever that means for you.\\nAvoid overspending. Buy things for their practical function, not for how they look or how they will make you look.\\nSimplify. Go through your possessions, and sell or donate the things that you don't use or need. Stop holding onto things just because they're \\\"yours.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Live in accordance with your values.\", \"描述\": \"Connect with the people, the places, and the causes that are important to you. Care about the planet, the future, and the people in your life. Learn to live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle, and think seriously about your impact.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for what you have.\", \"描述\": \"Appreciate how wonderfully lucky you are to be alive, breathing, and growing in this moment. Show your gratitude for the people who make your life worth living: friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances.\\nAccept your life for what it is. Don't give up on your dreams and aspirations – but do not try to make a fantasy a reality.\\nCultivate a gratitude practice. Make a habit of thanking people and complimenting people. Every morning, write down five things for which you are grateful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient and thoughtful.\", \"描述\": \"Accept the things that you cannot change, and work to thoughtfully change the things that you cannot accept. Be aware of your surroundings, particularly the way that your behavior affects the way that other people feel. Don't be afraid to wait, or to go with the flow.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn how to play a musical instrument. This can help you express yourself in beautiful ways.\\n\", \"Getting a good therapist may help you become more down to earth.\\n\", \"Sit and listen to music for a while. It will calm you down.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't become too detached when trying to be down to earth. You still should be able to maintain connections with others.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,686 | How to Be Drug Free | 1. Handling the Temptation to Try Drugs
1-1. Set goals for yourself.
Studies suggest that having goals (and people who support those goals) may help you be less likely to use drugs. This is likely because it encourages you to consider what you want out of your future and what you'll do to get yourself there. In contrast, using drugs is all about what feels "good" right now, regardless of the impact it makes on your future.
If you feel tempted to try drugs, even once, consider what it may do to your goals for the future. How likely are you to be able to achieve your goals if you're dependent on an expensive and/or illegal drug, or in jail or with a criminal record for using it?
Setting goals can also help improve your self-confidence. When you feel confident in yourself and your ability to achieve what you set out to do, you're less likely to want to do drugs.
Setting and achieving goals is also crucial to getting off of drugs. This practice shows you that you can achieve what you set out to do, including kick your drug use.
1-2. Spend time with your loved ones.
Strong relationships with your family and loved ones are a protective factor against drug use. In other words, having a strong relationship with your family and friends will make you less likely to give in to temptation.
If you're feeling pressured or curious about drug use, don't keep it to yourself. Find someone you know, trust, and respect to talk to about it. Other people can offer you advice and support, which is very important for staying drug free.
1-3. Talk to someone about what's going on.
If you're consistently being pressured, even bullied, to try drugs, talk to someone in authority, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. You don't have to face this pressure on your own. Getting support from others will help you stand strong against drugs.
1-4. Do something else to feel good.
If you are tempted to use drugs because you want to feel good, keep your focus off of drugs by doing other things that are enjoyable and fun.
For example, take up a hobby, spend more time laughing with friends, play a fun video game, or help others out, to feel better instead. This will help you find new meaning in your life..
Go for a run, get lost in a good novel, talk to family and friends, play a fun video game, or actively try to solve your problem or negative thoughts by seeking counselling.
Talk about how you feel with friends or engage in a distracting activity like going out to a movie.
1-5. Stop before you start.
If you're offered drugs, decline and walk away. If you're afraid of peer pressure, then know in your heart that true friends will respect you if you decide to say no to a drug, and they won't push you into doing something you don't want to do. If they do, then consider finding a new group of friends.
1-6. Keep your distance.
If you see a family member or friend taking drugs, stay away from them and definitely don't follow in their footsteps. If you can, talk to a trusted adult friend about it; they may offer guidance or social support. A support system can be crucial to a person's success in achieving and maintaining a drug–free lifestyle.
Be aware that vulnerability to drug addiction can run in the family, so if you have a family member who is addicted to drugs, know that you may be especially vulnerable and should do that much more to be drug free.
If you have friends who actively use drugs, find new friends. Instead, surround yourself with people who do not use drugs and who think being sober is a better way to live. Teens are especially likely to use drugs if their friends do.
1-7. Avoid temptation.
If there is a certain group of people at school who are known to do drugs, don't hang around them. You can find friends who are interested in more productive behaviors.
If you are at a party and you realize that there are drugs there, simply leave. Peer pressure might make you crack, even if you're certain you'll be able to say no.
Be aware that social influence is very strong, and it has an effect on your temptation to use drugs. Even social media can influence you to be more likely to use drugs. If you notice a lot of photos about drug use on your social media, consider blocking those sources of influence too.
1-8. Reflect on your temptations.
If you're tempted to try drugs even when you're on your own, such as seeing what it would be like to experiment with your kid brother's Adderall, you can handle that temptation too. Think to yourself, "Why am I really wanting to try this?" What are your reasons for wanting to try drugs?
If it's because you think everyone else is doing it and you want to connect with your buddies, remind yourself that not everyone is doing drugs. In fact, drug use in general is down among young people. There are plenty of great, healthy ways to connect with your friends, such as taking up a hobby or sport together.
If it's because you're feeling stressed or pressured, recognize that drug use is a common way to handle stress, but it's very unhealthy. There are great ways to handle stress, such as exercise, yoga, and meditation. If you feel really stressed out, talking to a therapist could help too.
Remember that your decision-making skills haven't fully matured if you're a teen. Choosing to use drugs is a decision that could haunt you for the rest of your life. Will your 50-year-old self thank you for deciding to try drugs?
1-9. Say no assertively.
Most likely there will come a time when you will be asked to do drugs. Be firm in your answer and do not hesitate. If you hesitate you leave the door open for peer pressure.
If someone who offers you drugs asks you why you do not want to do them you do not need to give any reasons. Just say that you don't do drugs. If you provide reasons you leave the door open for further conversation, where the person can then try to persuade you to try the drugs.
You may have people try to change your mind by saying things such as "But everyone's doing it" or "Just once won't hurt you." Remain firm. You can tell the person that in fact, drug use has gone down among young people, so clearly not everyone is doing it, and you won't be either. Or you can say "Nope, not even once. I don't need that in my life."
1-10. Stay engaged.
Keep your mind sharp and actively involved in the world around you. If you stay engaged and busy and active you will not have the time to do drugs. Boredom can lead to drug use, so by never being bored you will be less likely to use drugs.
Learn a new language. Pick up a hobby. Teach yourself a musical instrument. Volunteer in your community. You will enrich your life (and boost your resume) and help yourself stay away from drugs.
1-11. Figure out what makes you happy.
Depression and low self-esteem can lead to drug use. If you are experiencing depression, you should seek a counselor to help you work through it. In addition, pursuing things that make you happy and maintain your self-esteem will make you less likely to default to drug use.
Make a list of everything that makes you happy. Pick a few that are easily attainable, such as experiences like cooking an inexpensive meal, or going to the movies, and be sure to engage in those activities regularly.
2. Refraining From Using Drugs Again
2-1. Understand why people use drugs.
People become addicted because they are self-medicating. Then they are held within the cycle of addiction because of the withdrawal symptoms from the drug.The way to become drug free is to first confront the physical addiction through going to a clinic where you can participate in a program to help with the withdrawal symptoms, which at times can be life-threatening, and then addressing the emotional issues that lead to the decision to use addicting drugs to mask the emotional pain.
People who use drugs are not “bad” or “immoral” people.
People who use drugs often cannot simply “knock it off.” Drug addictions change your brain in ways that make it difficult -- but not impossible -- to quit.
2-2. Know your triggers.
If you have used drugs before, be cognizant of the triggers that are associated with your using drugs. This could include drug paraphernalia, a group of friends, a certain location, or even a certain song that you used to listen to when you did drugs.
If there are certain triggers that you know may cause a problem and lead to drug use, throw them away. Delete that song from your ipod or throw out those rolling papers; if your triggers are permanently gone you will be less likely to use drugs.
You may also need to not go to places you used to go when you used drugs. Staying away may be difficult, but it will help you kick your drug use.
2-3. Join a community or family-based recovery support system.
Support is key not only to staying off of drugs, but to getting off them. If you are struggling to live a drug free life, a support group may be helpful.
To find one, talk to your doctor, counselor or other healthcare provider, check your phone book for a list of local support groups, consult with your religious or secular community groups, or speak with local or national groups who are devoted to helping people get past addictions.
2-4. Try “urge surfing.”
Urge surfing is a mindfulness exercise that acknowledges your craving and helps you “ride it out” until it goes away. Imagine you are a surfer riding your craving like a wave until it breaks and becomes soft and small and easy to handle. Urge surfing is more effective than trying to ignore or repress a craving.
Remind yourself that this probably is not the first time you have experienced the urge to do drugs. Has that urge passed before? The answer is almost certainly yes. Remind yourself that it will pass this time too. The urge exists, but you do not have to act on it.
Notice the thoughts and sensations that you experience during the urge. For example, you might feel a strong feeling that you want to use your drug of choice. You might feel sweaty or itchy, or feel restless. Acknowledge these as existing. Remind yourself that they are just thoughts; they do not truly have power over you.
Focus on deep breathing as you surf your urges. Breathe slowly and evenly, in and out. This will help keep your attention on the present moment rather than focusing on your craving.
2-5. Tell yourself you'll wait 10 minutes.
If you feel a very strong urge to use drugs, delay by telling yourself you will make yourself wait 10 minutes. Just 10, that's all. You can do that. When that 10 minutes is up, if the urge is still strong, tell yourself you'll wait another 10 minutes. Keep delaying until the urge passes. It will, given enough time.
3. Keeping Your Body Healthy
3-1. Eat healthy.
The mind and body are intricately related because the mind consists of the complex workings of the brain, a biological organ and part of the body. This means that mental health and bodily health are closely related. Since poor mental health is associated with drug use, and mental and bodily health are related, keeping a healthy body is an important part of being drug free. One way to maintain a healthy body is to eat healthy foods.
Eat whole foods such as lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. Who knows, you might even develop a passion for cooking that builds your self-esteem and turns into a hobby that helps to keep you drug free.
3-2. Exercise.
Working out can release endorphins that make you feel good in a much healthier way than the way that drugs make you feel good. Exercise helps to reduce stress and can even combat minor cases of depression; both stress and depression increase risk for drug use, so it is important to exercise regularly to help to keep drug free.
3-3. Avoid having too much caffeine.
Too much caffeine can make you jittery and anxious which can contribute to feelings of stress and make you more likely to turn to using (other) drugs to counteract the anxiety that the caffeine produced.
3-4. Get enough sleep.
A lack of sleep can contribute to poor mental health such as by causing feelings of fatigue, sadness, and anxiety, all of which may add to your likelihood of using drugs in order to avoid feeling bad.
3-5. Relax your body and mind.
Practice relaxation techniques to help stay mentally and physically healthy. Relaxation techniques reduce the impact of stress on your body by negating negative feelings and negative bodily sensations such as muscle tension. Stress is a common reason that people begin using drugs, so managing your stress will help you stay drug-free.
Try visualization. This technique involves forming peaceful and relaxing mental images. For example, picture a calm ocean and try to imagine it with all of your senses; think about how it would smell, how the wind and sun would feel against your skin. Fully immerse yourself in the experience.
Try a soothing exercise, such as yoga or tai chi.
3-6. Try meditation.
Meditation can be an excellent way to manage stress and focus on breathing and body awareness. Meditate to calm yourself as you confront urges to use alcohol or drugs. People who meditate tend to have greater success rates of staying off drugs in the long run.
Find a comfortable and quiet spot to sit for 10-15 minutes.
Focus on your breath, inhaling deeply and steadily.
As thoughts pass through your mind, release them without judgment. Turn your attention back to your breath.
3-7. Try progressive muscle relaxation.
This technique helps you to figure out the difference between tense and relaxed muscles. It involves slowly tensing then relaxing each muscle group; this will help to delineate the difference between tense and relaxed and take your mind off what is stressing you out.
Begin with your toes. Clench them as hard as you can for 5 seconds, and then relax for 5 seconds. Notice the sensation of relaxation. Move up your body from your calves, thighs, buttocks, abs, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, and face.
4. Seeking Treatment
4-1. Seek counseling.
People who are recovering from an addiction need guidance and treatment. Counseling can offer you the support you need to remain drug free when giving up or recovering from an addiction.
Behavioral treatment, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, is very effective in helping people who use drugs manage their urges and stop their drug use.
Family therapy can also be helpful, particularly if your family dysfunction is contributing to your drug use.
Contingency management uses positive reinforcement, such as rewards, for staying off drugs.
4-2. Consider attending a detox facility.
There are benefits and drawbacks to inpatient or outpatient facilities. Inpatient facilities enable close monitoring, remove the potential for drug use, and the detox process is fairly accelerated. However, these can be quite expensive and may limit other activities, such as work. Outpatient treatments cost less and have less of an impact on the individual's life, but may not be as effective due to the potential for access to drugs due to being outside of the facility.This has the advantage of being less disruptive to the patient's life and less expensive. The best setting depends on a variety of factors, including the drug of abuse, the drug user's amount and length of history of abuse, the patient's age, and co-existing medical and/or psychiatric conditions among others.
To find a detox center, search here: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
People with serious drug use problems, a long history of drug use, involvement in criminal activity, or trouble with social functioning due to drugs are often helped by residential treatment at a detox facility.
4-3. Find a sponsor.
Many peer-based support groups assign sponsors to new members. The sponsor is a recovering addict who will help you through the steps of the recovery program. A good sponsor will:
help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.
help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.
not be a crutch or be around you if you fail to make progress.
Tips
Talk to those you trust about your temptation, they'll understand and help you avoid it.
If you have a drug problem talk to a school counsellor, or consider joining a group such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Alateen, or N.A.
Never take drugs. Medicine is considered a drug but never abuse your medication.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Handling the Temptation to Try Drugs\\n1-1. Set goals for yourself.\\nStudies suggest that having goals (and people who support those goals) may help you be less likely to use drugs. This is likely because it encourages you to consider what you want out of your future and what you'll do to get yourself there. In contrast, using drugs is all about what feels \\\"good\\\" right now, regardless of the impact it makes on your future.\\nIf you feel tempted to try drugs, even once, consider what it may do to your goals for the future. How likely are you to be able to achieve your goals if you're dependent on an expensive and/or illegal drug, or in jail or with a criminal record for using it?\\nSetting goals can also help improve your self-confidence. When you feel confident in yourself and your ability to achieve what you set out to do, you're less likely to want to do drugs.\\nSetting and achieving goals is also crucial to getting off of drugs. This practice shows you that you can achieve what you set out to do, including kick your drug use.\\n1-2. Spend time with your loved ones.\\nStrong relationships with your family and loved ones are a protective factor against drug use. In other words, having a strong relationship with your family and friends will make you less likely to give in to temptation.\\nIf you're feeling pressured or curious about drug use, don't keep it to yourself. Find someone you know, trust, and respect to talk to about it. Other people can offer you advice and support, which is very important for staying drug free.\\n1-3. Talk to someone about what's going on.\\nIf you're consistently being pressured, even bullied, to try drugs, talk to someone in authority, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. You don't have to face this pressure on your own. Getting support from others will help you stand strong against drugs.\\n1-4. Do something else to feel good.\\nIf you are tempted to use drugs because you want to feel good, keep your focus off of drugs by doing other things that are enjoyable and fun. \\nFor example, take up a hobby, spend more time laughing with friends, play a fun video game, or help others out, to feel better instead. This will help you find new meaning in your life..\\nGo for a run, get lost in a good novel, talk to family and friends, play a fun video game, or actively try to solve your problem or negative thoughts by seeking counselling.\\nTalk about how you feel with friends or engage in a distracting activity like going out to a movie.\\n1-5. Stop before you start.\\nIf you're offered drugs, decline and walk away. If you're afraid of peer pressure, then know in your heart that true friends will respect you if you decide to say no to a drug, and they won't push you into doing something you don't want to do. If they do, then consider finding a new group of friends.\\n1-6. Keep your distance.\\nIf you see a family member or friend taking drugs, stay away from them and definitely don't follow in their footsteps. If you can, talk to a trusted adult friend about it; they may offer guidance or social support. A support system can be crucial to a person's success in achieving and maintaining a drug–free lifestyle.\\nBe aware that vulnerability to drug addiction can run in the family, so if you have a family member who is addicted to drugs, know that you may be especially vulnerable and should do that much more to be drug free.\\nIf you have friends who actively use drugs, find new friends. Instead, surround yourself with people who do not use drugs and who think being sober is a better way to live. Teens are especially likely to use drugs if their friends do.\\n1-7. Avoid temptation.\\nIf there is a certain group of people at school who are known to do drugs, don't hang around them. You can find friends who are interested in more productive behaviors.\\nIf you are at a party and you realize that there are drugs there, simply leave. Peer pressure might make you crack, even if you're certain you'll be able to say no.\\nBe aware that social influence is very strong, and it has an effect on your temptation to use drugs. Even social media can influence you to be more likely to use drugs. If you notice a lot of photos about drug use on your social media, consider blocking those sources of influence too.\\n1-8. Reflect on your temptations.\\nIf you're tempted to try drugs even when you're on your own, such as seeing what it would be like to experiment with your kid brother's Adderall, you can handle that temptation too. Think to yourself, \\\"Why am I really wanting to try this?\\\" What are your reasons for wanting to try drugs?\\nIf it's because you think everyone else is doing it and you want to connect with your buddies, remind yourself that not everyone is doing drugs. In fact, drug use in general is down among young people. There are plenty of great, healthy ways to connect with your friends, such as taking up a hobby or sport together.\\nIf it's because you're feeling stressed or pressured, recognize that drug use is a common way to handle stress, but it's very unhealthy. There are great ways to handle stress, such as exercise, yoga, and meditation. If you feel really stressed out, talking to a therapist could help too.\\nRemember that your decision-making skills haven't fully matured if you're a teen. Choosing to use drugs is a decision that could haunt you for the rest of your life. Will your 50-year-old self thank you for deciding to try drugs?\\n1-9. Say no assertively.\\nMost likely there will come a time when you will be asked to do drugs. Be firm in your answer and do not hesitate. If you hesitate you leave the door open for peer pressure.\\nIf someone who offers you drugs asks you why you do not want to do them you do not need to give any reasons. Just say that you don't do drugs. If you provide reasons you leave the door open for further conversation, where the person can then try to persuade you to try the drugs.\\nYou may have people try to change your mind by saying things such as \\\"But everyone's doing it\\\" or \\\"Just once won't hurt you.\\\" Remain firm. You can tell the person that in fact, drug use has gone down among young people, so clearly not everyone is doing it, and you won't be either. Or you can say \\\"Nope, not even once. I don't need that in my life.\\\"\\n1-10. Stay engaged.\\nKeep your mind sharp and actively involved in the world around you. If you stay engaged and busy and active you will not have the time to do drugs. Boredom can lead to drug use, so by never being bored you will be less likely to use drugs.\\nLearn a new language. Pick up a hobby. Teach yourself a musical instrument. Volunteer in your community. You will enrich your life (and boost your resume) and help yourself stay away from drugs.\\n1-11. Figure out what makes you happy.\\nDepression and low self-esteem can lead to drug use. If you are experiencing depression, you should seek a counselor to help you work through it. In addition, pursuing things that make you happy and maintain your self-esteem will make you less likely to default to drug use.\\nMake a list of everything that makes you happy. Pick a few that are easily attainable, such as experiences like cooking an inexpensive meal, or going to the movies, and be sure to engage in those activities regularly.\\n2. Refraining From Using Drugs Again\\n2-1. Understand why people use drugs.\\nPeople become addicted because they are self-medicating. Then they are held within the cycle of addiction because of the withdrawal symptoms from the drug.The way to become drug free is to first confront the physical addiction through going to a clinic where you can participate in a program to help with the withdrawal symptoms, which at times can be life-threatening, and then addressing the emotional issues that lead to the decision to use addicting drugs to mask the emotional pain.\\nPeople who use drugs are not “bad” or “immoral” people.\\nPeople who use drugs often cannot simply “knock it off.” Drug addictions change your brain in ways that make it difficult -- but not impossible -- to quit.\\n2-2. Know your triggers.\\nIf you have used drugs before, be cognizant of the triggers that are associated with your using drugs. This could include drug paraphernalia, a group of friends, a certain location, or even a certain song that you used to listen to when you did drugs.\\nIf there are certain triggers that you know may cause a problem and lead to drug use, throw them away. Delete that song from your ipod or throw out those rolling papers; if your triggers are permanently gone you will be less likely to use drugs.\\nYou may also need to not go to places you used to go when you used drugs. Staying away may be difficult, but it will help you kick your drug use.\\n2-3. Join a community or family-based recovery support system.\\nSupport is key not only to staying off of drugs, but to getting off them. If you are struggling to live a drug free life, a support group may be helpful.\\nTo find one, talk to your doctor, counselor or other healthcare provider, check your phone book for a list of local support groups, consult with your religious or secular community groups, or speak with local or national groups who are devoted to helping people get past addictions.\\n2-4. Try “urge surfing.”\\nUrge surfing is a mindfulness exercise that acknowledges your craving and helps you “ride it out” until it goes away. Imagine you are a surfer riding your craving like a wave until it breaks and becomes soft and small and easy to handle. Urge surfing is more effective than trying to ignore or repress a craving.\\nRemind yourself that this probably is not the first time you have experienced the urge to do drugs. Has that urge passed before? The answer is almost certainly yes. Remind yourself that it will pass this time too. The urge exists, but you do not have to act on it.\\nNotice the thoughts and sensations that you experience during the urge. For example, you might feel a strong feeling that you want to use your drug of choice. You might feel sweaty or itchy, or feel restless. Acknowledge these as existing. Remind yourself that they are just thoughts; they do not truly have power over you.\\nFocus on deep breathing as you surf your urges. Breathe slowly and evenly, in and out. This will help keep your attention on the present moment rather than focusing on your craving.\\n2-5. Tell yourself you'll wait 10 minutes.\\nIf you feel a very strong urge to use drugs, delay by telling yourself you will make yourself wait 10 minutes. Just 10, that's all. You can do that. When that 10 minutes is up, if the urge is still strong, tell yourself you'll wait another 10 minutes. Keep delaying until the urge passes. It will, given enough time.\\n3. Keeping Your Body Healthy\\n3-1. Eat healthy.\\nThe mind and body are intricately related because the mind consists of the complex workings of the brain, a biological organ and part of the body. This means that mental health and bodily health are closely related. Since poor mental health is associated with drug use, and mental and bodily health are related, keeping a healthy body is an important part of being drug free. One way to maintain a healthy body is to eat healthy foods.\\nEat whole foods such as lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. Who knows, you might even develop a passion for cooking that builds your self-esteem and turns into a hobby that helps to keep you drug free.\\n3-2. Exercise.\\nWorking out can release endorphins that make you feel good in a much healthier way than the way that drugs make you feel good. Exercise helps to reduce stress and can even combat minor cases of depression; both stress and depression increase risk for drug use, so it is important to exercise regularly to help to keep drug free.\\n3-3. Avoid having too much caffeine.\\nToo much caffeine can make you jittery and anxious which can contribute to feelings of stress and make you more likely to turn to using (other) drugs to counteract the anxiety that the caffeine produced.\\n3-4. Get enough sleep.\\nA lack of sleep can contribute to poor mental health such as by causing feelings of fatigue, sadness, and anxiety, all of which may add to your likelihood of using drugs in order to avoid feeling bad.\\n3-5. Relax your body and mind.\\nPractice relaxation techniques to help stay mentally and physically healthy. Relaxation techniques reduce the impact of stress on your body by negating negative feelings and negative bodily sensations such as muscle tension. Stress is a common reason that people begin using drugs, so managing your stress will help you stay drug-free.\\nTry visualization. This technique involves forming peaceful and relaxing mental images. For example, picture a calm ocean and try to imagine it with all of your senses; think about how it would smell, how the wind and sun would feel against your skin. Fully immerse yourself in the experience.\\nTry a soothing exercise, such as yoga or tai chi.\\n3-6. Try meditation.\\nMeditation can be an excellent way to manage stress and focus on breathing and body awareness. Meditate to calm yourself as you confront urges to use alcohol or drugs. People who meditate tend to have greater success rates of staying off drugs in the long run.\\nFind a comfortable and quiet spot to sit for 10-15 minutes.\\nFocus on your breath, inhaling deeply and steadily.\\nAs thoughts pass through your mind, release them without judgment. Turn your attention back to your breath.\\n3-7. Try progressive muscle relaxation.\\nThis technique helps you to figure out the difference between tense and relaxed muscles. It involves slowly tensing then relaxing each muscle group; this will help to delineate the difference between tense and relaxed and take your mind off what is stressing you out.\\nBegin with your toes. Clench them as hard as you can for 5 seconds, and then relax for 5 seconds. Notice the sensation of relaxation. Move up your body from your calves, thighs, buttocks, abs, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, and face.\\n4. Seeking Treatment\\n4-1. Seek counseling.\\nPeople who are recovering from an addiction need guidance and treatment. Counseling can offer you the support you need to remain drug free when giving up or recovering from an addiction.\\nBehavioral treatment, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, is very effective in helping people who use drugs manage their urges and stop their drug use.\\nFamily therapy can also be helpful, particularly if your family dysfunction is contributing to your drug use.\\nContingency management uses positive reinforcement, such as rewards, for staying off drugs.\\n4-2. Consider attending a detox facility.\\nThere are benefits and drawbacks to inpatient or outpatient facilities. Inpatient facilities enable close monitoring, remove the potential for drug use, and the detox process is fairly accelerated. However, these can be quite expensive and may limit other activities, such as work. Outpatient treatments cost less and have less of an impact on the individual's life, but may not be as effective due to the potential for access to drugs due to being outside of the facility.This has the advantage of being less disruptive to the patient's life and less expensive. The best setting depends on a variety of factors, including the drug of abuse, the drug user's amount and length of history of abuse, the patient's age, and co-existing medical and/or psychiatric conditions among others. \\nTo find a detox center, search here: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/\\nPeople with serious drug use problems, a long history of drug use, involvement in criminal activity, or trouble with social functioning due to drugs are often helped by residential treatment at a detox facility.\\n4-3. Find a sponsor.\\nMany peer-based support groups assign sponsors to new members. The sponsor is a recovering addict who will help you through the steps of the recovery program. A good sponsor will:\\nhelp you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.\\nhelp you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.\\nnot be a crutch or be around you if you fail to make progress.\\nTips\\nTalk to those you trust about your temptation, they'll understand and help you avoid it.\\nIf you have a drug problem talk to a school counsellor, or consider joining a group such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Alateen, or N.A.\\nNever take drugs. Medicine is considered a drug but never abuse your medication.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You don't have to look hard to find someone whose life has been damaged by his use of drugs. Many people have made the decision to use drugs, and regretted it, but that doesn't have to be you. For those that are already addicted: you can be drug free.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Handling the Temptation to Try Drugs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Studies suggest that having goals (and people who support those goals) may help you be less likely to use drugs. This is likely because it encourages you to consider what you want out of your future and what you'll do to get yourself there. In contrast, using drugs is all about what feels \\\"good\\\" right now, regardless of the impact it makes on your future.\\nIf you feel tempted to try drugs, even once, consider what it may do to your goals for the future. How likely are you to be able to achieve your goals if you're dependent on an expensive and/or illegal drug, or in jail or with a criminal record for using it?\\nSetting goals can also help improve your self-confidence. When you feel confident in yourself and your ability to achieve what you set out to do, you're less likely to want to do drugs.\\nSetting and achieving goals is also crucial to getting off of drugs. This practice shows you that you can achieve what you set out to do, including kick your drug use.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your loved ones.\", \"描述\": \"Strong relationships with your family and loved ones are a protective factor against drug use. In other words, having a strong relationship with your family and friends will make you less likely to give in to temptation.\\nIf you're feeling pressured or curious about drug use, don't keep it to yourself. Find someone you know, trust, and respect to talk to about it. Other people can offer you advice and support, which is very important for staying drug free.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone about what's going on.\", \"描述\": \"If you're consistently being pressured, even bullied, to try drugs, talk to someone in authority, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. You don't have to face this pressure on your own. Getting support from others will help you stand strong against drugs.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do something else to feel good.\", \"描述\": \"If you are tempted to use drugs because you want to feel good, keep your focus off of drugs by doing other things that are enjoyable and fun. \\nFor example, take up a hobby, spend more time laughing with friends, play a fun video game, or help others out, to feel better instead. This will help you find new meaning in your life..\\nGo for a run, get lost in a good novel, talk to family and friends, play a fun video game, or actively try to solve your problem or negative thoughts by seeking counselling.\\nTalk about how you feel with friends or engage in a distracting activity like going out to a movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop before you start.\", \"描述\": \"If you're offered drugs, decline and walk away. If you're afraid of peer pressure, then know in your heart that true friends will respect you if you decide to say no to a drug, and they won't push you into doing something you don't want to do. If they do, then consider finding a new group of friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your distance.\", \"描述\": \"If you see a family member or friend taking drugs, stay away from them and definitely don't follow in their footsteps. If you can, talk to a trusted adult friend about it; they may offer guidance or social support. A support system can be crucial to a person's success in achieving and maintaining a drug–free lifestyle.\\nBe aware that vulnerability to drug addiction can run in the family, so if you have a family member who is addicted to drugs, know that you may be especially vulnerable and should do that much more to be drug free.\\nIf you have friends who actively use drugs, find new friends. Instead, surround yourself with people who do not use drugs and who think being sober is a better way to live. Teens are especially likely to use drugs if their friends do.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid temptation.\", \"描述\": \"If there is a certain group of people at school who are known to do drugs, don't hang around them. You can find friends who are interested in more productive behaviors.\\nIf you are at a party and you realize that there are drugs there, simply leave. Peer pressure might make you crack, even if you're certain you'll be able to say no.\\nBe aware that social influence is very strong, and it has an effect on your temptation to use drugs. Even social media can influence you to be more likely to use drugs. If you notice a lot of photos about drug use on your social media, consider blocking those sources of influence too.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your temptations.\", \"描述\": \"If you're tempted to try drugs even when you're on your own, such as seeing what it would be like to experiment with your kid brother's Adderall, you can handle that temptation too. Think to yourself, \\\"Why am I really wanting to try this?\\\" What are your reasons for wanting to try drugs?\\nIf it's because you think everyone else is doing it and you want to connect with your buddies, remind yourself that not everyone is doing drugs. In fact, drug use in general is down among young people. There are plenty of great, healthy ways to connect with your friends, such as taking up a hobby or sport together.\\nIf it's because you're feeling stressed or pressured, recognize that drug use is a common way to handle stress, but it's very unhealthy. There are great ways to handle stress, such as exercise, yoga, and meditation. If you feel really stressed out, talking to a therapist could help too.\\nRemember that your decision-making skills haven't fully matured if you're a teen. Choosing to use drugs is a decision that could haunt you for the rest of your life. Will your 50-year-old self thank you for deciding to try drugs?\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Say no assertively.\", \"描述\": \"Most likely there will come a time when you will be asked to do drugs. Be firm in your answer and do not hesitate. If you hesitate you leave the door open for peer pressure.\\nIf someone who offers you drugs asks you why you do not want to do them you do not need to give any reasons. Just say that you don't do drugs. If you provide reasons you leave the door open for further conversation, where the person can then try to persuade you to try the drugs.\\nYou may have people try to change your mind by saying things such as \\\"But everyone's doing it\\\" or \\\"Just once won't hurt you.\\\" Remain firm. You can tell the person that in fact, drug use has gone down among young people, so clearly not everyone is doing it, and you won't be either. Or you can say \\\"Nope, not even once. I don't need that in my life.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stay engaged.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your mind sharp and actively involved in the world around you. If you stay engaged and busy and active you will not have the time to do drugs. Boredom can lead to drug use, so by never being bored you will be less likely to use drugs.\\nLearn a new language. Pick up a hobby. Teach yourself a musical instrument. Volunteer in your community. You will enrich your life (and boost your resume) and help yourself stay away from drugs.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Figure out what makes you happy.\", \"描述\": \"Depression and low self-esteem can lead to drug use. If you are experiencing depression, you should seek a counselor to help you work through it. In addition, pursuing things that make you happy and maintain your self-esteem will make you less likely to default to drug use.\\nMake a list of everything that makes you happy. Pick a few that are easily attainable, such as experiences like cooking an inexpensive meal, or going to the movies, and be sure to engage in those activities regularly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Refraining From Using Drugs Again\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand why people use drugs.\", \"描述\": \"People become addicted because they are self-medicating. Then they are held within the cycle of addiction because of the withdrawal symptoms from the drug.The way to become drug free is to first confront the physical addiction through going to a clinic where you can participate in a program to help with the withdrawal symptoms, which at times can be life-threatening, and then addressing the emotional issues that lead to the decision to use addicting drugs to mask the emotional pain.\\nPeople who use drugs are not “bad” or “immoral” people.\\nPeople who use drugs often cannot simply “knock it off.” Drug addictions change your brain in ways that make it difficult -- but not impossible -- to quit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know your triggers.\", \"描述\": \"If you have used drugs before, be cognizant of the triggers that are associated with your using drugs. This could include drug paraphernalia, a group of friends, a certain location, or even a certain song that you used to listen to when you did drugs.\\nIf there are certain triggers that you know may cause a problem and lead to drug use, throw them away. Delete that song from your ipod or throw out those rolling papers; if your triggers are permanently gone you will be less likely to use drugs.\\nYou may also need to not go to places you used to go when you used drugs. Staying away may be difficult, but it will help you kick your drug use.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join a community or family-based recovery support system.\", \"描述\": \"Support is key not only to staying off of drugs, but to getting off them. If you are struggling to live a drug free life, a support group may be helpful.\\nTo find one, talk to your doctor, counselor or other healthcare provider, check your phone book for a list of local support groups, consult with your religious or secular community groups, or speak with local or national groups who are devoted to helping people get past addictions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try “urge surfing.”\", \"描述\": \"Urge surfing is a mindfulness exercise that acknowledges your craving and helps you “ride it out” until it goes away. Imagine you are a surfer riding your craving like a wave until it breaks and becomes soft and small and easy to handle. Urge surfing is more effective than trying to ignore or repress a craving.\\nRemind yourself that this probably is not the first time you have experienced the urge to do drugs. Has that urge passed before? The answer is almost certainly yes. Remind yourself that it will pass this time too. The urge exists, but you do not have to act on it.\\nNotice the thoughts and sensations that you experience during the urge. For example, you might feel a strong feeling that you want to use your drug of choice. You might feel sweaty or itchy, or feel restless. Acknowledge these as existing. Remind yourself that they are just thoughts; they do not truly have power over you.\\nFocus on deep breathing as you surf your urges. Breathe slowly and evenly, in and out. This will help keep your attention on the present moment rather than focusing on your craving.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell yourself you'll wait 10 minutes.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel a very strong urge to use drugs, delay by telling yourself you will make yourself wait 10 minutes. Just 10, that's all. You can do that. When that 10 minutes is up, if the urge is still strong, tell yourself you'll wait another 10 minutes. Keep delaying until the urge passes. It will, given enough time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Body Healthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy.\", \"描述\": \"The mind and body are intricately related because the mind consists of the complex workings of the brain, a biological organ and part of the body. This means that mental health and bodily health are closely related. Since poor mental health is associated with drug use, and mental and bodily health are related, keeping a healthy body is an important part of being drug free. One way to maintain a healthy body is to eat healthy foods.\\nEat whole foods such as lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. Who knows, you might even develop a passion for cooking that builds your self-esteem and turns into a hobby that helps to keep you drug free.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Working out can release endorphins that make you feel good in a much healthier way than the way that drugs make you feel good. Exercise helps to reduce stress and can even combat minor cases of depression; both stress and depression increase risk for drug use, so it is important to exercise regularly to help to keep drug free.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid having too much caffeine.\", \"描述\": \"Too much caffeine can make you jittery and anxious which can contribute to feelings of stress and make you more likely to turn to using (other) drugs to counteract the anxiety that the caffeine produced.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"A lack of sleep can contribute to poor mental health such as by causing feelings of fatigue, sadness, and anxiety, all of which may add to your likelihood of using drugs in order to avoid feeling bad.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Relax your body and mind.\", \"描述\": \"Practice relaxation techniques to help stay mentally and physically healthy. Relaxation techniques reduce the impact of stress on your body by negating negative feelings and negative bodily sensations such as muscle tension. Stress is a common reason that people begin using drugs, so managing your stress will help you stay drug-free.\\nTry visualization. This technique involves forming peaceful and relaxing mental images. For example, picture a calm ocean and try to imagine it with all of your senses; think about how it would smell, how the wind and sun would feel against your skin. Fully immerse yourself in the experience.\\nTry a soothing exercise, such as yoga or tai chi.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation can be an excellent way to manage stress and focus on breathing and body awareness. Meditate to calm yourself as you confront urges to use alcohol or drugs. People who meditate tend to have greater success rates of staying off drugs in the long run.\\nFind a comfortable and quiet spot to sit for 10-15 minutes.\\nFocus on your breath, inhaling deeply and steadily.\\nAs thoughts pass through your mind, release them without judgment. Turn your attention back to your breath.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try progressive muscle relaxation.\", \"描述\": \"This technique helps you to figure out the difference between tense and relaxed muscles. It involves slowly tensing then relaxing each muscle group; this will help to delineate the difference between tense and relaxed and take your mind off what is stressing you out.\\nBegin with your toes. Clench them as hard as you can for 5 seconds, and then relax for 5 seconds. Notice the sensation of relaxation. Move up your body from your calves, thighs, buttocks, abs, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, and face.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Seeking Treatment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek counseling.\", \"描述\": \"People who are recovering from an addiction need guidance and treatment. Counseling can offer you the support you need to remain drug free when giving up or recovering from an addiction.\\nBehavioral treatment, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, is very effective in helping people who use drugs manage their urges and stop their drug use.\\nFamily therapy can also be helpful, particularly if your family dysfunction is contributing to your drug use.\\nContingency management uses positive reinforcement, such as rewards, for staying off drugs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider attending a detox facility.\", \"描述\": \"There are benefits and drawbacks to inpatient or outpatient facilities. Inpatient facilities enable close monitoring, remove the potential for drug use, and the detox process is fairly accelerated. However, these can be quite expensive and may limit other activities, such as work. Outpatient treatments cost less and have less of an impact on the individual's life, but may not be as effective due to the potential for access to drugs due to being outside of the facility.This has the advantage of being less disruptive to the patient's life and less expensive. The best setting depends on a variety of factors, including the drug of abuse, the drug user's amount and length of history of abuse, the patient's age, and co-existing medical and/or psychiatric conditions among others. \\nTo find a detox center, search here: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/\\nPeople with serious drug use problems, a long history of drug use, involvement in criminal activity, or trouble with social functioning due to drugs are often helped by residential treatment at a detox facility.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a sponsor.\", \"描述\": \"Many peer-based support groups assign sponsors to new members. The sponsor is a recovering addict who will help you through the steps of the recovery program. A good sponsor will:\\nhelp you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.\\nhelp you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.\\nnot be a crutch or be around you if you fail to make progress.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Talk to those you trust about your temptation, they'll understand and help you avoid it.\\n\", \"If you have a drug problem talk to a school counsellor, or consider joining a group such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Alateen, or N.A.\\n\", \"Never take drugs. Medicine is considered a drug but never abuse your medication.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,687 | How to Be Early for School | 1. Finding Easy Ways to Save Time
1-1. Pack your book bag beforehand.
Setting out all your texts and materials in advance will save you time from doing it in the morning. Invest that energy in the evening and you won't have to frantically search for your science homework in the morning or panic because you can't find your protractor. Just pack ahead of time and concentrate on getting up, dressed, and out the door.
1-2. Choose your wardrobe ahead of time.
Clothing decisions, while important, are not so crucial as to make you late. Set out your outfit the evening before. That way, you can try the clothes on calmly and make a decision. It will also give you the chance to make sure that your chosen attire is sharp and matches. No one likes to end up with mismatched socks!
Make sure that your clothes are clean and crisp. Pick out items that need laundry or ironing in your downtime – these tasks are too time-consuming to manage in the morning rush.
Check the weather forecast for the following day on television or online and dress to suit. Choose an outfit to match the weather, especially if it might be cool or rainy.
1-3. Check off a to-do list.
Keep track of all of your minor morning tasks with a daily or weekly to-do list. If you need a permission slip for the next day, get it signed and stowed away in your book bag. If you need lunch money, get it the night before. Organization is the key. Keep close track of what needs to be done each day.
A to-do list might be in your head or an actual list. Similarly, it might be for one day or something that you go through each and every day.
If you do keep a physical list, try putting it in a prominent place where you will see it, like the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror.
1-4. Keep personal items in a set location.
There is nothing as frustrating and time consuming as searching for lost keys or a cell phone. Put all those small personal items in a set place, those things that you tend to lose. Try a basket on a counter or end table, or even the pocket of the jacket that you always wear. Put them in the same place every day so that you know where they are.
1-5. Store bigger items by the door.
Make the door your loading area for the morning rush. Put your shoes, coat, gloves, hat, lunchbox, backpack, and anything else you might need in the entryway so that you can quickly up, dress, and out.
1-6. Prepare your breakfast ahead of time.
Making food can eat up a lot of time, but don't think you have to choose between something quick and something healthy. Set out your breakfast the evening before or keep it ready-made in the refrigerator. If you are really short on time, grab something to take with you on your commute.
Oatmeal is both delicious and nutritious. You can make enough for a whole week on Sunday evening and keep it safely in the refrigerator. Single packets of instant oatmeal are also just that -- instant. It only takes a minute or two to cook.
Breakfast smoothies are great convenience foods, as well. Just find a balanced recipe (try ones with a good balance of fruit and protein), blend, and enjoy.
People often say that fruit is nature's fast food. It comes prepackaged, ready-to-eat, and can be taken on the go. Bananas, apples, oranges, or grapes are good ideas.
1-7. Set your alarm.
Getting up late will put you at an immediate disadvantage in your quest for punctuality. It will foil all your best laid plans. Have a reliable alarm clock or two. Know how to set it and do so every night.
For heavy sleepers, louder alarms might be more effective. Choose an alarm setting that will shake you out of bed.
Radio alarms follow this rule. Choose a rock station over easy listening or talk radio.
2. Using Better Time Management
2-1. Plan your morning ahead of time.
It can be hard to think in the morning hours, particularly when you are rushed or without your daily fix of caffeine. Knowing what to expect ahead of time can help you navigate these stresses and stay on time. A routine can be very helpful.
2-2. Get up at an appropriate time.
Set the alarm so that you have enough time to fully prepare for the day. Your wake up time should allow you to complete your routine without feeling rushed or panicked. At the same time, you shouldn't wake up so early that you will be fatigued.
Avoid pressing the snooze button. The temptation to sleep just five more minutes can be irresistible. Resist it! It will make you late. Worse still, it often leads to multiple snoozing.
Set two alarms if you are a compulsive, multiple snoozer. Put one out of reach, maybe even across the room!
2-3. Don't spend too much time on any one activity.
Between showering, dressing, eating, and putting on makeup, you won't have the luxury of extra time. Consider tracking yourself during these activities to see how long you spend on each one.
Keep grooming at a reasonable minimum. Doing your makeup and hair and dressing is a time killer, and your ambitions to be punctual may well die in front of the bathroom mirror. This doesn't mean neglect yourself. Just resist the urge to be perfect.
There may be occasions when you should look your absolute best. On those days, plan to spend the extra time. Otherwise aim for efficiency.
2-4. Avoid getting sucked into television, electronic devices, or other distractions.
Mornings ought to be about luxury, about watching the news, reading the paper, checking your texts, or nursing a cup of tea or coffee. Most of us can only afford a small indulgence, unfortunately. Resist the urge. It will cost you precious time.
Limit your morning television carefully. The local traffic and weather should be enough until you can catch the 5 o'clock broadcast.
If you like to read the paper or the news online, leave it as a treat for the afternoon or between classes. It, like television, will wait for your homecoming.
2-5. Don't miss your ride.
Many times a student has chased the school bus down the block at least once. Don't be that person. Be outside and at your stop on time. Missing your bus or carpool can set you back by a good twenty minutes or more, depending on where you live.
2-6. Cooperate with your family.
It may be that your lateness comes from living in a full house - from daily confusion, chaos, and bottlenecks for space. Talk to your parents and siblings honestly and try to come up with a system.
Take turns in the bathroom. The bathroom is prime real estate in the morning for washing, dressing, and tooth brushing. Establish time limits for its use, negotiate slots, or organize it better.
If you have siblings, help your parents. Your mom and dad may have the best intentions but struggle to get your younger brother, or your teenage sister, up and moving. Be considerate. Try to make their job easier and lend a hand.
2-7. Keep a clock in every room.
Let the ticking of the clock be your constant reminder. Keep clocks in every room if you can, so that it always possible to see the hour. Waterproof clocks can even be installed in the shower.
3. Focusing on Punctuality
3-1. Overestimate how long you will take.
The chronically late are often chronically optimistic when it comes to time, and how much they will need to get ready. Your intuition may be wrong. Always try to err on the side of more time.
3-2. Set your watch fast.
Trick yourself into being early by moving your watch ahead by ten or fifteen minutes. The result should be that you arrive earlier by that amount of time.
This tactic doesn't always work. Some people automatically subtract the time, knowing that they have a few more minutes in reality.
3-3. Find a healthy sleep schedule.
Getting up on time doesn't just involve setting the alarm. It also involves a good sleep pattern. Going to bed at the same time each night will get your body into a habit, a rhythm that should make you sleepy and wakeful at the right times.
Do homework as soon as you get home. Don't put it off your work until the evening or the wee hours of the night.
Aim for at least 8 hours each night. This can be higher in the case of teenagers. Unfortunately, the natural sleep patterns of teens often do not match those of schools. This may be part of why you tend to be late!
3-4. Don't sweat being early.
Punctuality can require a basic change of attitude. Some people sabotage themselves because they think that being early will create an awkward situation, be uncool, or just waste time. They may do it to defy authority or to assert themselves. None of this is a good reason, however.
Your time is not wasted if you know how to use it. Review your homework or notes from the last class. Bring a book or magazine with you if you fear awkward social interactions.
Lateness shows a disregard for social norms. This is not really a desirable quality to have, if you happen to make yourself late out of defiance or ego.
3-5. Remind yourself of the importance of punctuality.
Timeliness is almost always a desirable trait – one that shows dependability, seriousness, and dedication. It is appreciated by employers, teachers, peers, and others. They take it seriously.
Punctuality helps organizations work properly. Your school, and later your job, functions by doing certain things at certain times. Lateness bogs down this machine. If one person is late, it slows. If everyone is late, the machine will not work at all.
Being late too often can lead to problems. It can land you in detention. Later on, it may lower workplace morale, cause your co-workers to resent you, or even anger your employer.
On the contrary, studies show that punctuality is a valued trait in workers. Managers are often less likely to promote chronically late employees.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Easy Ways to Save Time\\n1-1. Pack your book bag beforehand.\\nSetting out all your texts and materials in advance will save you time from doing it in the morning. Invest that energy in the evening and you won't have to frantically search for your science homework in the morning or panic because you can't find your protractor. Just pack ahead of time and concentrate on getting up, dressed, and out the door.\\n1-2. Choose your wardrobe ahead of time.\\nClothing decisions, while important, are not so crucial as to make you late. Set out your outfit the evening before. That way, you can try the clothes on calmly and make a decision. It will also give you the chance to make sure that your chosen attire is sharp and matches. No one likes to end up with mismatched socks!\\nMake sure that your clothes are clean and crisp. Pick out items that need laundry or ironing in your downtime – these tasks are too time-consuming to manage in the morning rush.\\nCheck the weather forecast for the following day on television or online and dress to suit. Choose an outfit to match the weather, especially if it might be cool or rainy.\\n1-3. Check off a to-do list.\\nKeep track of all of your minor morning tasks with a daily or weekly to-do list. If you need a permission slip for the next day, get it signed and stowed away in your book bag. If you need lunch money, get it the night before. Organization is the key. Keep close track of what needs to be done each day.\\nA to-do list might be in your head or an actual list. Similarly, it might be for one day or something that you go through each and every day.\\nIf you do keep a physical list, try putting it in a prominent place where you will see it, like the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror.\\n1-4. Keep personal items in a set location.\\nThere is nothing as frustrating and time consuming as searching for lost keys or a cell phone. Put all those small personal items in a set place, those things that you tend to lose. Try a basket on a counter or end table, or even the pocket of the jacket that you always wear. Put them in the same place every day so that you know where they are.\\n1-5. Store bigger items by the door.\\nMake the door your loading area for the morning rush. Put your shoes, coat, gloves, hat, lunchbox, backpack, and anything else you might need in the entryway so that you can quickly up, dress, and out.\\n1-6. Prepare your breakfast ahead of time.\\nMaking food can eat up a lot of time, but don't think you have to choose between something quick and something healthy. Set out your breakfast the evening before or keep it ready-made in the refrigerator. If you are really short on time, grab something to take with you on your commute.\\nOatmeal is both delicious and nutritious. You can make enough for a whole week on Sunday evening and keep it safely in the refrigerator. Single packets of instant oatmeal are also just that -- instant. It only takes a minute or two to cook.\\nBreakfast smoothies are great convenience foods, as well. Just find a balanced recipe (try ones with a good balance of fruit and protein), blend, and enjoy.\\nPeople often say that fruit is nature's fast food. It comes prepackaged, ready-to-eat, and can be taken on the go. Bananas, apples, oranges, or grapes are good ideas.\\n1-7. Set your alarm.\\nGetting up late will put you at an immediate disadvantage in your quest for punctuality. It will foil all your best laid plans. Have a reliable alarm clock or two. Know how to set it and do so every night.\\nFor heavy sleepers, louder alarms might be more effective. Choose an alarm setting that will shake you out of bed.\\nRadio alarms follow this rule. Choose a rock station over easy listening or talk radio.\\n2. Using Better Time Management\\n2-1. Plan your morning ahead of time.\\nIt can be hard to think in the morning hours, particularly when you are rushed or without your daily fix of caffeine. Knowing what to expect ahead of time can help you navigate these stresses and stay on time. A routine can be very helpful.\\n2-2. Get up at an appropriate time.\\nSet the alarm so that you have enough time to fully prepare for the day. Your wake up time should allow you to complete your routine without feeling rushed or panicked. At the same time, you shouldn't wake up so early that you will be fatigued.\\nAvoid pressing the snooze button. The temptation to sleep just five more minutes can be irresistible. Resist it! It will make you late. Worse still, it often leads to multiple snoozing.\\nSet two alarms if you are a compulsive, multiple snoozer. Put one out of reach, maybe even across the room!\\n2-3. Don't spend too much time on any one activity.\\nBetween showering, dressing, eating, and putting on makeup, you won't have the luxury of extra time. Consider tracking yourself during these activities to see how long you spend on each one.\\nKeep grooming at a reasonable minimum. Doing your makeup and hair and dressing is a time killer, and your ambitions to be punctual may well die in front of the bathroom mirror. This doesn't mean neglect yourself. Just resist the urge to be perfect.\\nThere may be occasions when you should look your absolute best. On those days, plan to spend the extra time. Otherwise aim for efficiency.\\n2-4. Avoid getting sucked into television, electronic devices, or other distractions.\\nMornings ought to be about luxury, about watching the news, reading the paper, checking your texts, or nursing a cup of tea or coffee. Most of us can only afford a small indulgence, unfortunately. Resist the urge. It will cost you precious time.\\nLimit your morning television carefully. The local traffic and weather should be enough until you can catch the 5 o'clock broadcast.\\nIf you like to read the paper or the news online, leave it as a treat for the afternoon or between classes. It, like television, will wait for your homecoming.\\n2-5. Don't miss your ride.\\nMany times a student has chased the school bus down the block at least once. Don't be that person. Be outside and at your stop on time. Missing your bus or carpool can set you back by a good twenty minutes or more, depending on where you live.\\n2-6. Cooperate with your family.\\nIt may be that your lateness comes from living in a full house - from daily confusion, chaos, and bottlenecks for space. Talk to your parents and siblings honestly and try to come up with a system.\\nTake turns in the bathroom. The bathroom is prime real estate in the morning for washing, dressing, and tooth brushing. Establish time limits for its use, negotiate slots, or organize it better.\\nIf you have siblings, help your parents. Your mom and dad may have the best intentions but struggle to get your younger brother, or your teenage sister, up and moving. Be considerate. Try to make their job easier and lend a hand.\\n2-7. Keep a clock in every room.\\nLet the ticking of the clock be your constant reminder. Keep clocks in every room if you can, so that it always possible to see the hour. Waterproof clocks can even be installed in the shower.\\n3. Focusing on Punctuality\\n3-1. Overestimate how long you will take.\\nThe chronically late are often chronically optimistic when it comes to time, and how much they will need to get ready. Your intuition may be wrong. Always try to err on the side of more time.\\n3-2. Set your watch fast.\\nTrick yourself into being early by moving your watch ahead by ten or fifteen minutes. The result should be that you arrive earlier by that amount of time.\\nThis tactic doesn't always work. Some people automatically subtract the time, knowing that they have a few more minutes in reality.\\n3-3. Find a healthy sleep schedule.\\nGetting up on time doesn't just involve setting the alarm. It also involves a good sleep pattern. Going to bed at the same time each night will get your body into a habit, a rhythm that should make you sleepy and wakeful at the right times.\\nDo homework as soon as you get home. Don't put it off your work until the evening or the wee hours of the night.\\nAim for at least 8 hours each night. This can be higher in the case of teenagers. Unfortunately, the natural sleep patterns of teens often do not match those of schools. This may be part of why you tend to be late!\\n3-4. Don't sweat being early.\\nPunctuality can require a basic change of attitude. Some people sabotage themselves because they think that being early will create an awkward situation, be uncool, or just waste time. They may do it to defy authority or to assert themselves. None of this is a good reason, however.\\nYour time is not wasted if you know how to use it. Review your homework or notes from the last class. Bring a book or magazine with you if you fear awkward social interactions.\\nLateness shows a disregard for social norms. This is not really a desirable quality to have, if you happen to make yourself late out of defiance or ego.\\n3-5. Remind yourself of the importance of punctuality.\\nTimeliness is almost always a desirable trait – one that shows dependability, seriousness, and dedication. It is appreciated by employers, teachers, peers, and others. They take it seriously.\\nPunctuality helps organizations work properly. Your school, and later your job, functions by doing certain things at certain times. Lateness bogs down this machine. If one person is late, it slows. If everyone is late, the machine will not work at all.\\nBeing late too often can lead to problems. It can land you in detention. Later on, it may lower workplace morale, cause your co-workers to resent you, or even anger your employer.\\nOn the contrary, studies show that punctuality is a valued trait in workers. Managers are often less likely to promote chronically late employees.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you always late for school? Does the first bell always ring just as you walk in the door, or perhaps the second bell? Does it make you feel self-conscious around classmates? Has it gotten you in trouble? Yes, getting to school on time can be an immense pain. But there are ways to manage your mornings - ways that can help you save time, become more punctual, and beat the clock.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Easy Ways to Save Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pack your book bag beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Setting out all your texts and materials in advance will save you time from doing it in the morning. Invest that energy in the evening and you won't have to frantically search for your science homework in the morning or panic because you can't find your protractor. Just pack ahead of time and concentrate on getting up, dressed, and out the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your wardrobe ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"Clothing decisions, while important, are not so crucial as to make you late. Set out your outfit the evening before. That way, you can try the clothes on calmly and make a decision. It will also give you the chance to make sure that your chosen attire is sharp and matches. No one likes to end up with mismatched socks!\\nMake sure that your clothes are clean and crisp. Pick out items that need laundry or ironing in your downtime – these tasks are too time-consuming to manage in the morning rush.\\nCheck the weather forecast for the following day on television or online and dress to suit. Choose an outfit to match the weather, especially if it might be cool or rainy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check off a to-do list.\", \"描述\": \"Keep track of all of your minor morning tasks with a daily or weekly to-do list. If you need a permission slip for the next day, get it signed and stowed away in your book bag. If you need lunch money, get it the night before. Organization is the key. Keep close track of what needs to be done each day.\\nA to-do list might be in your head or an actual list. Similarly, it might be for one day or something that you go through each and every day.\\nIf you do keep a physical list, try putting it in a prominent place where you will see it, like the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep personal items in a set location.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing as frustrating and time consuming as searching for lost keys or a cell phone. Put all those small personal items in a set place, those things that you tend to lose. Try a basket on a counter or end table, or even the pocket of the jacket that you always wear. Put them in the same place every day so that you know where they are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Store bigger items by the door.\", \"描述\": \"Make the door your loading area for the morning rush. Put your shoes, coat, gloves, hat, lunchbox, backpack, and anything else you might need in the entryway so that you can quickly up, dress, and out.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prepare your breakfast ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"Making food can eat up a lot of time, but don't think you have to choose between something quick and something healthy. Set out your breakfast the evening before or keep it ready-made in the refrigerator. If you are really short on time, grab something to take with you on your commute.\\nOatmeal is both delicious and nutritious. You can make enough for a whole week on Sunday evening and keep it safely in the refrigerator. Single packets of instant oatmeal are also just that -- instant. It only takes a minute or two to cook.\\nBreakfast smoothies are great convenience foods, as well. Just find a balanced recipe (try ones with a good balance of fruit and protein), blend, and enjoy.\\nPeople often say that fruit is nature's fast food. It comes prepackaged, ready-to-eat, and can be taken on the go. Bananas, apples, oranges, or grapes are good ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Set your alarm.\", \"描述\": \"Getting up late will put you at an immediate disadvantage in your quest for punctuality. It will foil all your best laid plans. Have a reliable alarm clock or two. Know how to set it and do so every night.\\nFor heavy sleepers, louder alarms might be more effective. Choose an alarm setting that will shake you out of bed.\\nRadio alarms follow this rule. Choose a rock station over easy listening or talk radio.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Better Time Management\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan your morning ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to think in the morning hours, particularly when you are rushed or without your daily fix of caffeine. Knowing what to expect ahead of time can help you navigate these stresses and stay on time. A routine can be very helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get up at an appropriate time.\", \"描述\": \"Set the alarm so that you have enough time to fully prepare for the day. Your wake up time should allow you to complete your routine without feeling rushed or panicked. At the same time, you shouldn't wake up so early that you will be fatigued.\\nAvoid pressing the snooze button. The temptation to sleep just five more minutes can be irresistible. Resist it! It will make you late. Worse still, it often leads to multiple snoozing.\\nSet two alarms if you are a compulsive, multiple snoozer. Put one out of reach, maybe even across the room!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't spend too much time on any one activity.\", \"描述\": \"Between showering, dressing, eating, and putting on makeup, you won't have the luxury of extra time. Consider tracking yourself during these activities to see how long you spend on each one.\\nKeep grooming at a reasonable minimum. Doing your makeup and hair and dressing is a time killer, and your ambitions to be punctual may well die in front of the bathroom mirror. This doesn't mean neglect yourself. Just resist the urge to be perfect.\\nThere may be occasions when you should look your absolute best. On those days, plan to spend the extra time. Otherwise aim for efficiency.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting sucked into television, electronic devices, or other distractions.\", \"描述\": \"Mornings ought to be about luxury, about watching the news, reading the paper, checking your texts, or nursing a cup of tea or coffee. Most of us can only afford a small indulgence, unfortunately. Resist the urge. It will cost you precious time.\\nLimit your morning television carefully. The local traffic and weather should be enough until you can catch the 5 o'clock broadcast.\\nIf you like to read the paper or the news online, leave it as a treat for the afternoon or between classes. It, like television, will wait for your homecoming.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't miss your ride.\", \"描述\": \"Many times a student has chased the school bus down the block at least once. Don't be that person. Be outside and at your stop on time. Missing your bus or carpool can set you back by a good twenty minutes or more, depending on where you live.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Cooperate with your family.\", \"描述\": \"It may be that your lateness comes from living in a full house - from daily confusion, chaos, and bottlenecks for space. Talk to your parents and siblings honestly and try to come up with a system.\\nTake turns in the bathroom. The bathroom is prime real estate in the morning for washing, dressing, and tooth brushing. Establish time limits for its use, negotiate slots, or organize it better.\\nIf you have siblings, help your parents. Your mom and dad may have the best intentions but struggle to get your younger brother, or your teenage sister, up and moving. Be considerate. Try to make their job easier and lend a hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep a clock in every room.\", \"描述\": \"Let the ticking of the clock be your constant reminder. Keep clocks in every room if you can, so that it always possible to see the hour. Waterproof clocks can even be installed in the shower.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focusing on Punctuality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overestimate how long you will take.\", \"描述\": \"The chronically late are often chronically optimistic when it comes to time, and how much they will need to get ready. Your intuition may be wrong. Always try to err on the side of more time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set your watch fast.\", \"描述\": \"Trick yourself into being early by moving your watch ahead by ten or fifteen minutes. The result should be that you arrive earlier by that amount of time.\\nThis tactic doesn't always work. Some people automatically subtract the time, knowing that they have a few more minutes in reality.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a healthy sleep schedule.\", \"描述\": \"Getting up on time doesn't just involve setting the alarm. It also involves a good sleep pattern. Going to bed at the same time each night will get your body into a habit, a rhythm that should make you sleepy and wakeful at the right times.\\nDo homework as soon as you get home. Don't put it off your work until the evening or the wee hours of the night.\\nAim for at least 8 hours each night. This can be higher in the case of teenagers. Unfortunately, the natural sleep patterns of teens often do not match those of schools. This may be part of why you tend to be late!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't sweat being early.\", \"描述\": \"Punctuality can require a basic change of attitude. Some people sabotage themselves because they think that being early will create an awkward situation, be uncool, or just waste time. They may do it to defy authority or to assert themselves. None of this is a good reason, however.\\nYour time is not wasted if you know how to use it. Review your homework or notes from the last class. Bring a book or magazine with you if you fear awkward social interactions.\\nLateness shows a disregard for social norms. This is not really a desirable quality to have, if you happen to make yourself late out of defiance or ego.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself of the importance of punctuality.\", \"描述\": \"Timeliness is almost always a desirable trait – one that shows dependability, seriousness, and dedication. It is appreciated by employers, teachers, peers, and others. They take it seriously.\\nPunctuality helps organizations work properly. Your school, and later your job, functions by doing certain things at certain times. Lateness bogs down this machine. If one person is late, it slows. If everyone is late, the machine will not work at all.\\nBeing late too often can lead to problems. It can land you in detention. Later on, it may lower workplace morale, cause your co-workers to resent you, or even anger your employer.\\nOn the contrary, studies show that punctuality is a valued trait in workers. Managers are often less likely to promote chronically late employees.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,688 | How to Be Easy Going | 1. Focusing on the Positive
1-1. Practice gratitude to improve your mood and outlook.
One of the best antidotes for beating worry is to focus on the good. You can do that by taking time each day and pointing out what you are thankful for in your life. Grateful people heal from sickness faster, are happier, and are more resilient to life’s problems. Plus, when you are aware of all that you have to be thankful for, you are less likely to ruminate over a bad situation and get stuck in a negative rut.
Take some time at the end of each day to write down at least three things you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. When you feel down, review your journal and remind yourself of the positive things happening in your life.
1-2. Spend time with fun, positive people.
Easy-going people have warm, happy, and supportive social connections. Having positive social interactions with friends, co-workers, and family can motivate you to make better health decisions and even live a longer life. The quality of your relationships does count thought. Be sure your relationships include satisfying interactions with people who make you feel better about yourself and your life.
1-3. Put a stop to negative self-talk.
A great way to develop more laid-back thinking habits is to notice when you are being negative and put a positive spin on it. After you bring awareness to a bad attitude, you are more likely to catch it mounting in the future and not let it get the best of you.
For example, if you find yourself saying “I can never catch a break,” you should immediately look for an example that renders that statement untrue. Did you catch a break last week or even last month? Remind yourself of that opportunity and revise your statement: “I’m having a hard time right now, but it will get better.”
1-4. Find reasons to laugh.
Laid-back and happy people are that way because they know how to have fun. When it comes to fun, having a sense of humor is an essential ingredient. Laughter provides relaxation, boosts cardiovascular functioning, and makes you more resistant to illness.
Tell a joke to a friend. Watch a hilarious comedy TV show or movie. View crazy cat videos on YouTube. Make a commitment to laughing a few times a day—it’s the best medicine.
2. Adopting Care-free Habits
2-1. Go with the flow.
Being overly serious can work against you if you are hoping to become more easy-going. Laid-back people tend to move with the tide rather than pushing against it. Even if you’re an adult with an important job, that doesn’t mean you have to be totally serious all the time. When it’s necessary to take a serious approach, do that. But during leisure time, make a commitment to lightening up some. Doing this will even make you more likeable to others.
Say yes more. Make an effort to be more spontaneous. Even if you are more comfortable planning things out, once in a while say yes to a friend's random idea or spontaneous adventure.
2-2. Take personal responsibility for your own happiness.
Assigning the job of keeping you happy to someone else will keep you frustrated and dissatisfied. You alone are responsible for how you feel. No one can make you happy without your permission. Just as no one can negatively affect your mood without your permission. The same goes in reverse: you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.
2-3. Make self-care a regular part of your day.
When you prioritize your own self-care, you will see an improvement in how you respond to upsetting events in life. You can help yourself become more easy-going by attending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Eat well, exercise, and do relaxation exercises to improve your physical health and well-being.
Hang out with friends, engage in fun activities, and schedule in some down-time to manage stress.
Nurture your spiritual health by journaling, meditating, taking walks in nature, or praying. Do whatever works for you!
2-4. Live your passions.
Without a doubt, a guaranteed way to transform your mindset is to change what you are doing with your days. You may feel too serious because you spend your days doing something you do not enjoy. Perhaps, in an effort to become more easy-going, you will find that what you are doing is not inspiring you to have a positive, laid-back attitude.
Consider what you do every day and what you really wish you could do with your time. Is there any way to change your schedule to do more of what you love? Of course, not everyone will be able to overhaul their life and start a career based on their passions.
If this is you, then try to dedicate a few hours a day or week to doing something you are passionate about, whether that is volunteering, teaching, making art, or planting your garden. Notice how improved your attitude is after doing more of what you love.
2-5. Stop worrying about what other people think.
Being self-conscious about who you are and what you are doing will never result in a care-free lifestyle. Easy-going people focus on their own goals and happiness, not what other people think. If you have to live your life on guard of what you say or how you look, you will miss out on all the opportunities to bask in self-love and acceptance.
Overcome this habit by reminding yourself that “What other people think about me is none of my business!” Tell yourself this whenever you catch your thoughts going into the direction.
Another strategy is to extend love and compassion to yourself. Give yourself a hug. Pat yourself on the back after even your minor achievements. This releases you from the need to seek approval from others. When you feel good about you, it doesn’t matter what others think.
3. Facing Problems with Ease
3-1. Don’t internalize problems.
An easy-going person doesn’t become overwhelmed or bogged down by life’s problems. People with laid-back attitudes know all too well that even the worst problems are temporary. If you often overreact in the face of issues, it’s time to take a chill pill.
Instead of stomping off in anger or frustration or running what went wrong through your head over and over, take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose for a few counts. Hold it, and then release the air through your mouth for a few counts. Repeat this until you feel calm and able to view the issue more objectively.
Accept that “This, too, shall pass” by repeating the phrase to yourself whenever you encounter a problem that causes you to want to overreact. Remember that you don’t own all the problems of the world.
Practice mindfulness to help maintain emotional composure. Let in comments, ideas, and opinions without judgment or offense. Realize that these are a reflection on the person saying them and have little to do with you personally. Remind yourself that you are competent and able to deal with life’s problems as they arise.
3-2. Ask yourself if it really matters.
Does it really matter if you have to bend down and pick up the papers you dropped? Does it really matter if you miss your bus? I think you will find that most times it doesn't really matter. Most issues we encounter on a daily basis seem important, but are truly minimal and inconsequential.
Question whether what you are getting upset about really is a big deal. Doing this helps you identify unnecessary stressors before they explode out of your control. Ask yourself “Will this affect my life in 1 year? 5 years?” If the answer is “no”, let it roll off your back like a bead of sweat and keep on with your day.
3-3. Consider if there is something you can do about the situation.
If it should turn out that it matters, be sure to consider if there is anything you can do about it right now. Sometimes, you may find yourself getting caught up in circumstances that are really out of your control. Ask if there is something you can do. If there is, go ahead and do it. If there isn't, what's the use of letting it get to you?
You can’t control things like the weather, politics, or the stock market, so there’s no use getting yourself upset when these types of things don’t go your way. Instead, focus your attention on all the things that you can control like your productivity, creativity, thought patterns and your character.
Building up your self-confidence will make it easier to face problems because you'll trust yourself and your abilities to handle whatever happens.
3-4. Aim to find common ground in disagreements.
Conflict doesn’t have to increase the distance between two people. It can actually be a benchmark to bring people closer together. When in disagreement, try not to focus on your differences with others. That is, what you believe to be true versus what they believe to be true. You can make more of an impact by highlighting mutual interests.
An easy-going person respects the differences of others and is willing to listen and negotiate. Don’t get stuck in the mind frame that one of you has to be wrong. Look for the common ground and use that to resolve the issue.
For example, you and a friend are in disagreement over where to go for lunch. Both of you have different opinions and don’t seem willing to bend. To move the discussion forward, suggest to your friend that you both list all the places or types of cuisine that you absolutely do not want to go to. Then, you can use that common ground to find a place where you both wouldn’t mind eating.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Focusing on the Positive\\n1-1. Practice gratitude to improve your mood and outlook.\\nOne of the best antidotes for beating worry is to focus on the good. You can do that by taking time each day and pointing out what you are thankful for in your life. Grateful people heal from sickness faster, are happier, and are more resilient to life’s problems. Plus, when you are aware of all that you have to be thankful for, you are less likely to ruminate over a bad situation and get stuck in a negative rut.\\nTake some time at the end of each day to write down at least three things you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. When you feel down, review your journal and remind yourself of the positive things happening in your life.\\n1-2. Spend time with fun, positive people.\\nEasy-going people have warm, happy, and supportive social connections. Having positive social interactions with friends, co-workers, and family can motivate you to make better health decisions and even live a longer life. The quality of your relationships does count thought. Be sure your relationships include satisfying interactions with people who make you feel better about yourself and your life.\\n1-3. Put a stop to negative self-talk.\\nA great way to develop more laid-back thinking habits is to notice when you are being negative and put a positive spin on it. After you bring awareness to a bad attitude, you are more likely to catch it mounting in the future and not let it get the best of you.\\nFor example, if you find yourself saying “I can never catch a break,” you should immediately look for an example that renders that statement untrue. Did you catch a break last week or even last month? Remind yourself of that opportunity and revise your statement: “I’m having a hard time right now, but it will get better.”\\n1-4. Find reasons to laugh.\\nLaid-back and happy people are that way because they know how to have fun. When it comes to fun, having a sense of humor is an essential ingredient. Laughter provides relaxation, boosts cardiovascular functioning, and makes you more resistant to illness.\\nTell a joke to a friend. Watch a hilarious comedy TV show or movie. View crazy cat videos on YouTube. Make a commitment to laughing a few times a day—it’s the best medicine.\\n2. Adopting Care-free Habits\\n2-1. Go with the flow.\\nBeing overly serious can work against you if you are hoping to become more easy-going. Laid-back people tend to move with the tide rather than pushing against it. Even if you’re an adult with an important job, that doesn’t mean you have to be totally serious all the time. When it’s necessary to take a serious approach, do that. But during leisure time, make a commitment to lightening up some. Doing this will even make you more likeable to others.\\nSay yes more. Make an effort to be more spontaneous. Even if you are more comfortable planning things out, once in a while say yes to a friend's random idea or spontaneous adventure.\\n2-2. Take personal responsibility for your own happiness.\\nAssigning the job of keeping you happy to someone else will keep you frustrated and dissatisfied. You alone are responsible for how you feel. No one can make you happy without your permission. Just as no one can negatively affect your mood without your permission. The same goes in reverse: you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.\\n2-3. Make self-care a regular part of your day.\\nWhen you prioritize your own self-care, you will see an improvement in how you respond to upsetting events in life. You can help yourself become more easy-going by attending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. \\nEat well, exercise, and do relaxation exercises to improve your physical health and well-being.\\nHang out with friends, engage in fun activities, and schedule in some down-time to manage stress.\\nNurture your spiritual health by journaling, meditating, taking walks in nature, or praying. Do whatever works for you!\\n2-4. Live your passions.\\nWithout a doubt, a guaranteed way to transform your mindset is to change what you are doing with your days. You may feel too serious because you spend your days doing something you do not enjoy. Perhaps, in an effort to become more easy-going, you will find that what you are doing is not inspiring you to have a positive, laid-back attitude.\\nConsider what you do every day and what you really wish you could do with your time. Is there any way to change your schedule to do more of what you love? Of course, not everyone will be able to overhaul their life and start a career based on their passions.\\nIf this is you, then try to dedicate a few hours a day or week to doing something you are passionate about, whether that is volunteering, teaching, making art, or planting your garden. Notice how improved your attitude is after doing more of what you love.\\n2-5. Stop worrying about what other people think.\\nBeing self-conscious about who you are and what you are doing will never result in a care-free lifestyle. Easy-going people focus on their own goals and happiness, not what other people think. If you have to live your life on guard of what you say or how you look, you will miss out on all the opportunities to bask in self-love and acceptance.\\nOvercome this habit by reminding yourself that “What other people think about me is none of my business!” Tell yourself this whenever you catch your thoughts going into the direction.\\nAnother strategy is to extend love and compassion to yourself. Give yourself a hug. Pat yourself on the back after even your minor achievements. This releases you from the need to seek approval from others. When you feel good about you, it doesn’t matter what others think.\\n3. Facing Problems with Ease\\n3-1. Don’t internalize problems.\\nAn easy-going person doesn’t become overwhelmed or bogged down by life’s problems. People with laid-back attitudes know all too well that even the worst problems are temporary. If you often overreact in the face of issues, it’s time to take a chill pill. \\nInstead of stomping off in anger or frustration or running what went wrong through your head over and over, take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose for a few counts. Hold it, and then release the air through your mouth for a few counts. Repeat this until you feel calm and able to view the issue more objectively.\\nAccept that “This, too, shall pass” by repeating the phrase to yourself whenever you encounter a problem that causes you to want to overreact. Remember that you don’t own all the problems of the world.\\nPractice mindfulness to help maintain emotional composure. Let in comments, ideas, and opinions without judgment or offense. Realize that these are a reflection on the person saying them and have little to do with you personally. Remind yourself that you are competent and able to deal with life’s problems as they arise.\\n3-2. Ask yourself if it really matters.\\nDoes it really matter if you have to bend down and pick up the papers you dropped? Does it really matter if you miss your bus? I think you will find that most times it doesn't really matter. Most issues we encounter on a daily basis seem important, but are truly minimal and inconsequential. \\nQuestion whether what you are getting upset about really is a big deal. Doing this helps you identify unnecessary stressors before they explode out of your control. Ask yourself “Will this affect my life in 1 year? 5 years?” If the answer is “no”, let it roll off your back like a bead of sweat and keep on with your day.\\n3-3. Consider if there is something you can do about the situation.\\nIf it should turn out that it matters, be sure to consider if there is anything you can do about it right now. Sometimes, you may find yourself getting caught up in circumstances that are really out of your control. Ask if there is something you can do. If there is, go ahead and do it. If there isn't, what's the use of letting it get to you?\\nYou can’t control things like the weather, politics, or the stock market, so there’s no use getting yourself upset when these types of things don’t go your way. Instead, focus your attention on all the things that you can control like your productivity, creativity, thought patterns and your character.\\nBuilding up your self-confidence will make it easier to face problems because you'll trust yourself and your abilities to handle whatever happens.\\n3-4. Aim to find common ground in disagreements.\\nConflict doesn’t have to increase the distance between two people. It can actually be a benchmark to bring people closer together. When in disagreement, try not to focus on your differences with others. That is, what you believe to be true versus what they believe to be true. You can make more of an impact by highlighting mutual interests.\\nAn easy-going person respects the differences of others and is willing to listen and negotiate. Don’t get stuck in the mind frame that one of you has to be wrong. Look for the common ground and use that to resolve the issue.\\nFor example, you and a friend are in disagreement over where to go for lunch. Both of you have different opinions and don’t seem willing to bend. To move the discussion forward, suggest to your friend that you both list all the places or types of cuisine that you absolutely do not want to go to. Then, you can use that common ground to find a place where you both wouldn’t mind eating.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most people admire those who keep their cool and just take whatever is thrown at them. Have you ever wondered how to keep going and smile through hard times? Maybe you were not born with a laid-back attitude, but you can adopt one by changing the way you perceive and respond to the world around you. Learn how to take life in stride and develop the easy-going attitude you long for.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focusing on the Positive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice gratitude to improve your mood and outlook.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best antidotes for beating worry is to focus on the good. You can do that by taking time each day and pointing out what you are thankful for in your life. Grateful people heal from sickness faster, are happier, and are more resilient to life’s problems. Plus, when you are aware of all that you have to be thankful for, you are less likely to ruminate over a bad situation and get stuck in a negative rut.\\nTake some time at the end of each day to write down at least three things you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. When you feel down, review your journal and remind yourself of the positive things happening in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with fun, positive people.\", \"描述\": \"Easy-going people have warm, happy, and supportive social connections. Having positive social interactions with friends, co-workers, and family can motivate you to make better health decisions and even live a longer life. The quality of your relationships does count thought. Be sure your relationships include satisfying interactions with people who make you feel better about yourself and your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put a stop to negative self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to develop more laid-back thinking habits is to notice when you are being negative and put a positive spin on it. After you bring awareness to a bad attitude, you are more likely to catch it mounting in the future and not let it get the best of you.\\nFor example, if you find yourself saying “I can never catch a break,” you should immediately look for an example that renders that statement untrue. Did you catch a break last week or even last month? Remind yourself of that opportunity and revise your statement: “I’m having a hard time right now, but it will get better.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find reasons to laugh.\", \"描述\": \"Laid-back and happy people are that way because they know how to have fun. When it comes to fun, having a sense of humor is an essential ingredient. Laughter provides relaxation, boosts cardiovascular functioning, and makes you more resistant to illness.\\nTell a joke to a friend. Watch a hilarious comedy TV show or movie. View crazy cat videos on YouTube. Make a commitment to laughing a few times a day—it’s the best medicine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopting Care-free Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go with the flow.\", \"描述\": \"Being overly serious can work against you if you are hoping to become more easy-going. Laid-back people tend to move with the tide rather than pushing against it. Even if you’re an adult with an important job, that doesn’t mean you have to be totally serious all the time. When it’s necessary to take a serious approach, do that. But during leisure time, make a commitment to lightening up some. Doing this will even make you more likeable to others.\\nSay yes more. Make an effort to be more spontaneous. Even if you are more comfortable planning things out, once in a while say yes to a friend's random idea or spontaneous adventure.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take personal responsibility for your own happiness.\", \"描述\": \"Assigning the job of keeping you happy to someone else will keep you frustrated and dissatisfied. You alone are responsible for how you feel. No one can make you happy without your permission. Just as no one can negatively affect your mood without your permission. The same goes in reverse: you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make self-care a regular part of your day.\", \"描述\": \"When you prioritize your own self-care, you will see an improvement in how you respond to upsetting events in life. You can help yourself become more easy-going by attending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. \\nEat well, exercise, and do relaxation exercises to improve your physical health and well-being.\\nHang out with friends, engage in fun activities, and schedule in some down-time to manage stress.\\nNurture your spiritual health by journaling, meditating, taking walks in nature, or praying. Do whatever works for you!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Live your passions.\", \"描述\": \"Without a doubt, a guaranteed way to transform your mindset is to change what you are doing with your days. You may feel too serious because you spend your days doing something you do not enjoy. Perhaps, in an effort to become more easy-going, you will find that what you are doing is not inspiring you to have a positive, laid-back attitude.\\nConsider what you do every day and what you really wish you could do with your time. Is there any way to change your schedule to do more of what you love? Of course, not everyone will be able to overhaul their life and start a career based on their passions.\\nIf this is you, then try to dedicate a few hours a day or week to doing something you are passionate about, whether that is volunteering, teaching, making art, or planting your garden. Notice how improved your attitude is after doing more of what you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop worrying about what other people think.\", \"描述\": \"Being self-conscious about who you are and what you are doing will never result in a care-free lifestyle. Easy-going people focus on their own goals and happiness, not what other people think. If you have to live your life on guard of what you say or how you look, you will miss out on all the opportunities to bask in self-love and acceptance.\\nOvercome this habit by reminding yourself that “What other people think about me is none of my business!” Tell yourself this whenever you catch your thoughts going into the direction.\\nAnother strategy is to extend love and compassion to yourself. Give yourself a hug. Pat yourself on the back after even your minor achievements. This releases you from the need to seek approval from others. When you feel good about you, it doesn’t matter what others think.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Facing Problems with Ease\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t internalize problems.\", \"描述\": \"An easy-going person doesn’t become overwhelmed or bogged down by life’s problems. People with laid-back attitudes know all too well that even the worst problems are temporary. If you often overreact in the face of issues, it’s time to take a chill pill. \\nInstead of stomping off in anger or frustration or running what went wrong through your head over and over, take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose for a few counts. Hold it, and then release the air through your mouth for a few counts. Repeat this until you feel calm and able to view the issue more objectively.\\nAccept that “This, too, shall pass” by repeating the phrase to yourself whenever you encounter a problem that causes you to want to overreact. Remember that you don’t own all the problems of the world.\\nPractice mindfulness to help maintain emotional composure. Let in comments, ideas, and opinions without judgment or offense. Realize that these are a reflection on the person saying them and have little to do with you personally. Remind yourself that you are competent and able to deal with life’s problems as they arise.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if it really matters.\", \"描述\": \"Does it really matter if you have to bend down and pick up the papers you dropped? Does it really matter if you miss your bus? I think you will find that most times it doesn't really matter. Most issues we encounter on a daily basis seem important, but are truly minimal and inconsequential. \\nQuestion whether what you are getting upset about really is a big deal. Doing this helps you identify unnecessary stressors before they explode out of your control. Ask yourself “Will this affect my life in 1 year? 5 years?” If the answer is “no”, let it roll off your back like a bead of sweat and keep on with your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider if there is something you can do about the situation.\", \"描述\": \"If it should turn out that it matters, be sure to consider if there is anything you can do about it right now. Sometimes, you may find yourself getting caught up in circumstances that are really out of your control. Ask if there is something you can do. If there is, go ahead and do it. If there isn't, what's the use of letting it get to you?\\nYou can’t control things like the weather, politics, or the stock market, so there’s no use getting yourself upset when these types of things don’t go your way. Instead, focus your attention on all the things that you can control like your productivity, creativity, thought patterns and your character.\\nBuilding up your self-confidence will make it easier to face problems because you'll trust yourself and your abilities to handle whatever happens.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Aim to find common ground in disagreements.\", \"描述\": \"Conflict doesn’t have to increase the distance between two people. It can actually be a benchmark to bring people closer together. When in disagreement, try not to focus on your differences with others. That is, what you believe to be true versus what they believe to be true. You can make more of an impact by highlighting mutual interests.\\nAn easy-going person respects the differences of others and is willing to listen and negotiate. Don’t get stuck in the mind frame that one of you has to be wrong. Look for the common ground and use that to resolve the issue.\\nFor example, you and a friend are in disagreement over where to go for lunch. Both of you have different opinions and don’t seem willing to bend. To move the discussion forward, suggest to your friend that you both list all the places or types of cuisine that you absolutely do not want to go to. Then, you can use that common ground to find a place where you both wouldn’t mind eating.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,689 | How to Be Eco Friendly | 1. Lowering Your Energy and Water Use
1-1. Adjust your thermostat to save on heating and cooling costs.
Use less energy during the hot summer months and cold winter season by controlling your heating and cooling bills. In the summer, set your thermostat to 78 °F (26 °C) when you're at home and raise the temperature when you're away. In the winter, turn your thermostat to 68 °F (20 °C) and lower it by 5° to 10° when you're sleeping or out of your house.
Use fans to cool your home or circulate the warm air from space heaters.
To stay warm in the winter, put on a sweater or another layer instead of turning up the thermostat.
1-2. Replace burned out light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
To avoid unnecessary waste, wait to replace your light bulbs until they've burned out. When you do replace the bulbs, choose Energy Star-qualified light bulbs with the same wattage as the bulbs you're replacing. These use 75% less energy than incandescent bulbs and they put out 75% less heat.
This can save you on cooling costs during the summer.
1-3. Turn off lights and unplug power strips that you're not using.
This is an easy way to reduce energy use. Since some devices can still use energy even when they're turned off, plug your chargers, TVs, and electronic devices into power strips. Turn off these power strips at night to completely cut off energy use.
If you need to leave your computer, TV, or game console on, try setting it to sleep mode instead of simply leaving it on.
1-4. Make your faucets and toilets low-flow.
Cut back on water waste by installing flow restrictor aerators inside your faucets and installing a low-flow shower head in your bathroom. This can save 3 to 4 gallons (11 to 15 liters) of water for every minute that water is running. If you're replacing a toilet, look for a WaterSense or low-flow toilet to save thousands of gallons of water a year.
Remember to fix leaky faucets or toilets as soon as you notice water dripping.
To reduce your water use and heating bill, limit your showers to 5 minutes. If you'd rather take a bath, only fill the tub half to three-quarters full.
1-5. Wash your clothes with cold water and line dry them.
Adjust your washing machine to use cold or warm water instead of hot. Since more energy is spent drying the clothes, skip the machine and hang your washed clothes on a clothesline. If you don't have space for a clothesline or can't hang clothes outside, set up a clothes drying rack that you can use inside.
Try running your clothes through an extra spin cycle to remove even more water from the clothes. This will make them dry quicker.
1-6. Use public transportation.
Reduce your gas consumption and carbon emissions by walking, biking, or taking the bus. Keeping cars off of the road in congested cities can also improve the air quality. If you do need to drive somewhere, ask friends if they'd like to carpool so fewer cars are on the road.
2. Cutting Back on Plastics and Waste
2-1. Use reusable water bottles and coffee mugs.
Plastic water bottles and coffee cups create a lot of waste. One of the simplest ways to cut back on this plastic waste is to bring along a container that you can fill up at the fountain or hand to your barista. Many coffee shops even offer discounts if you bring your own cup.
Try to choose a sustainable material for your reusable bottle. You can buy them in glass, bamboo, and ceramic.
2-2. Say no to unnecessary plastic straws, lids, and bags.
If you know you're going to buy something that may come with a plastic straw, let them know when you're ordering that you don't need one. Ask businesses not to pack your items in plastic bags. Instead, bring your own reusable shopping bags, especially when you grocery shop.
If you frequently order takeout, tell the restaurant or food cart that you want the food packaged in your own containers. This way you won't get plastic utensils, styrofoam or plastic containers, paper napkins, and plastic bags.
2-3. Buy items packed with paper products instead of cardboard.
Choose items that contain minimal packaging that can easily be recycled. For instance, buy powdered laundry detergent in a cardboard box instead of liquid detergent that comes in a large plastic tub. Or buy the item without packaging, if possible.
For example, place several apples loose in your cart instead of buying a bag of apples wrapped in plastic with a plastic tie.
2-4. Choose reusable toiletries.
Instead of shaving with disposable razors, invest in a razor that you can purchase new blades for. To cut down on waste, start using reusable pads that you can wear and wash during your menstrual cycle. You can also use menstrual cups for a waste-free period.
You can also reduce bathroom waste by avoiding travel-sized items. These usually contain a lot of packaging and plastics that are difficult to recycle.
2-5. Stop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage.
Buy a bento box, tiffin, or lunchbox that you can use to store your lunch. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.
Remember to take jars with you when you grocery shop. You can fill them in the bulk bins to cut down on packaging.
3. Reducing, Repurposing, and Recycling
3-1. Use items more than once.
To cut back on waste, don't throw something useful away after a single use. Instead, use it again or find a new way to use it. For example, instead of throwing away a brown lunch bag, save it and use it a few more times. Or cut the bag and lay it flat so you can use the brown paper to wrap something. Once it's outlived its usefulness, recycle it.
For example, instead of throwing away wrapping paper and ribbons, use them as materials for a scrapbook.
3-2. Give away things you no longer need.
Ask your friends and family if they're interested in items you don't want to keep. It's a good idea to keep a bag set aside that you can add unwanted items to. When the bag gets full, have friends and family take what they want or take the bag to a charity.
Many thrift or second hand stores will give you a discount for your next purchase if you donate items.
3-3. Save and reuse packaging.
Use plastic food containers to store leftovers or keep old bread bags to store baked goods. Keep the waxed bags inside boxes of crackers or cereal and use them to prevent foods from sticking together. For example, lay a waxed bag between layers of prepared hamburgers.
Keep empty diaper wipe boxes and store tissues, toys, or crayons in them.
Plant small plants in old cans and bottles. Make a garden!
3-4. Buy things second-hand.
If you do need to purchase things such as clothing, housewares, books, or appliances, buy them second-hand instead of ordering them new. This will save resources and packaging. To buy things used, check out:
Thrift or antique stores
Garage sales
Local newspaper listings
Neighborhood exchanges
3-5. Recycle materials that you can't reuse.
Check with your sanitation company about what recyclables they accept. Some companies will let you mix recyclables in one bin while other companies want you to sort it. For example, you can mix paper, cardboard, and metal recyclables, but keep glass separate.
You can usually recycle cans, paper, cardboard, plastic containers, metals, and glass.
3-6. Compost
You would be giving back to the environment and having a compost pile will improve soil for gardens. Avoid composting meat, citrus, tea bags, and fish. You can compost:
Grass cuttings and leaves
Vegetable scraps
Fruit peels and scraps
Egg shells
Coffee grounds
Tips
Encourage your friends and family to be eco-friendly too! Post eco-friendly changes you've made on social media and challenge your friends to change their habits.
Plant trees around your home to improve air quality and provide a home for creatures.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Lowering Your Energy and Water Use\\n1-1. Adjust your thermostat to save on heating and cooling costs.\\nUse less energy during the hot summer months and cold winter season by controlling your heating and cooling bills. In the summer, set your thermostat to 78 °F (26 °C) when you're at home and raise the temperature when you're away. In the winter, turn your thermostat to 68 °F (20 °C) and lower it by 5° to 10° when you're sleeping or out of your house.\\nUse fans to cool your home or circulate the warm air from space heaters.\\nTo stay warm in the winter, put on a sweater or another layer instead of turning up the thermostat.\\n1-2. Replace burned out light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.\\nTo avoid unnecessary waste, wait to replace your light bulbs until they've burned out. When you do replace the bulbs, choose Energy Star-qualified light bulbs with the same wattage as the bulbs you're replacing. These use 75% less energy than incandescent bulbs and they put out 75% less heat.\\nThis can save you on cooling costs during the summer.\\n1-3. Turn off lights and unplug power strips that you're not using.\\nThis is an easy way to reduce energy use. Since some devices can still use energy even when they're turned off, plug your chargers, TVs, and electronic devices into power strips. Turn off these power strips at night to completely cut off energy use.\\nIf you need to leave your computer, TV, or game console on, try setting it to sleep mode instead of simply leaving it on.\\n1-4. Make your faucets and toilets low-flow.\\nCut back on water waste by installing flow restrictor aerators inside your faucets and installing a low-flow shower head in your bathroom. This can save 3 to 4 gallons (11 to 15 liters) of water for every minute that water is running. If you're replacing a toilet, look for a WaterSense or low-flow toilet to save thousands of gallons of water a year.\\nRemember to fix leaky faucets or toilets as soon as you notice water dripping.\\nTo reduce your water use and heating bill, limit your showers to 5 minutes. If you'd rather take a bath, only fill the tub half to three-quarters full.\\n1-5. Wash your clothes with cold water and line dry them.\\nAdjust your washing machine to use cold or warm water instead of hot. Since more energy is spent drying the clothes, skip the machine and hang your washed clothes on a clothesline. If you don't have space for a clothesline or can't hang clothes outside, set up a clothes drying rack that you can use inside.\\nTry running your clothes through an extra spin cycle to remove even more water from the clothes. This will make them dry quicker.\\n1-6. Use public transportation.\\nReduce your gas consumption and carbon emissions by walking, biking, or taking the bus. Keeping cars off of the road in congested cities can also improve the air quality. If you do need to drive somewhere, ask friends if they'd like to carpool so fewer cars are on the road.\\n2. Cutting Back on Plastics and Waste\\n2-1. Use reusable water bottles and coffee mugs.\\nPlastic water bottles and coffee cups create a lot of waste. One of the simplest ways to cut back on this plastic waste is to bring along a container that you can fill up at the fountain or hand to your barista. Many coffee shops even offer discounts if you bring your own cup.\\nTry to choose a sustainable material for your reusable bottle. You can buy them in glass, bamboo, and ceramic.\\n2-2. Say no to unnecessary plastic straws, lids, and bags.\\nIf you know you're going to buy something that may come with a plastic straw, let them know when you're ordering that you don't need one. Ask businesses not to pack your items in plastic bags. Instead, bring your own reusable shopping bags, especially when you grocery shop.\\nIf you frequently order takeout, tell the restaurant or food cart that you want the food packaged in your own containers. This way you won't get plastic utensils, styrofoam or plastic containers, paper napkins, and plastic bags.\\n2-3. Buy items packed with paper products instead of cardboard.\\nChoose items that contain minimal packaging that can easily be recycled. For instance, buy powdered laundry detergent in a cardboard box instead of liquid detergent that comes in a large plastic tub. Or buy the item without packaging, if possible.\\nFor example, place several apples loose in your cart instead of buying a bag of apples wrapped in plastic with a plastic tie.\\n2-4. Choose reusable toiletries.\\nInstead of shaving with disposable razors, invest in a razor that you can purchase new blades for. To cut down on waste, start using reusable pads that you can wear and wash during your menstrual cycle. You can also use menstrual cups for a waste-free period.\\nYou can also reduce bathroom waste by avoiding travel-sized items. These usually contain a lot of packaging and plastics that are difficult to recycle.\\n2-5. Stop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage.\\nBuy a bento box, tiffin, or lunchbox that you can use to store your lunch. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.\\nRemember to take jars with you when you grocery shop. You can fill them in the bulk bins to cut down on packaging.\\n3. Reducing, Repurposing, and Recycling\\n3-1. Use items more than once.\\nTo cut back on waste, don't throw something useful away after a single use. Instead, use it again or find a new way to use it. For example, instead of throwing away a brown lunch bag, save it and use it a few more times. Or cut the bag and lay it flat so you can use the brown paper to wrap something. Once it's outlived its usefulness, recycle it.\\nFor example, instead of throwing away wrapping paper and ribbons, use them as materials for a scrapbook.\\n3-2. Give away things you no longer need.\\nAsk your friends and family if they're interested in items you don't want to keep. It's a good idea to keep a bag set aside that you can add unwanted items to. When the bag gets full, have friends and family take what they want or take the bag to a charity.\\nMany thrift or second hand stores will give you a discount for your next purchase if you donate items.\\n3-3. Save and reuse packaging.\\nUse plastic food containers to store leftovers or keep old bread bags to store baked goods. Keep the waxed bags inside boxes of crackers or cereal and use them to prevent foods from sticking together. For example, lay a waxed bag between layers of prepared hamburgers.\\nKeep empty diaper wipe boxes and store tissues, toys, or crayons in them.\\nPlant small plants in old cans and bottles. Make a garden!\\n3-4. Buy things second-hand.\\nIf you do need to purchase things such as clothing, housewares, books, or appliances, buy them second-hand instead of ordering them new. This will save resources and packaging. To buy things used, check out:\\nThrift or antique stores\\nGarage sales\\nLocal newspaper listings\\nNeighborhood exchanges\\n3-5. Recycle materials that you can't reuse.\\nCheck with your sanitation company about what recyclables they accept. Some companies will let you mix recyclables in one bin while other companies want you to sort it. For example, you can mix paper, cardboard, and metal recyclables, but keep glass separate.\\nYou can usually recycle cans, paper, cardboard, plastic containers, metals, and glass.\\n3-6. Compost\\nYou would be giving back to the environment and having a compost pile will improve soil for gardens. Avoid composting meat, citrus, tea bags, and fish. You can compost:\\nGrass cuttings and leaves\\nVegetable scraps\\nFruit peels and scraps\\nEgg shells\\nCoffee grounds\\nTips\\nEncourage your friends and family to be eco-friendly too! Post eco-friendly changes you've made on social media and challenge your friends to change their habits.\\nPlant trees around your home to improve air quality and provide a home for creatures.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you'd love to be more eco-friendly but don't know where to begin, start with a few small changes. To save money at home and reduce energy use, learn how to heat, cool, and light your home more efficiently. Cut back on the amount of waste you produce by limiting plastic in your home. Choose sustainable options and plan ahead when you purchase things that are normally packaged in plastic. You can easily reduce your carbon footprint by only buying things you need.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lowering Your Energy and Water Use\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adjust your thermostat to save on heating and cooling costs.\", \"描述\": \"Use less energy during the hot summer months and cold winter season by controlling your heating and cooling bills. In the summer, set your thermostat to 78 °F (26 °C) when you're at home and raise the temperature when you're away. In the winter, turn your thermostat to 68 °F (20 °C) and lower it by 5° to 10° when you're sleeping or out of your house.\\nUse fans to cool your home or circulate the warm air from space heaters.\\nTo stay warm in the winter, put on a sweater or another layer instead of turning up the thermostat.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Replace burned out light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.\", \"描述\": \"To avoid unnecessary waste, wait to replace your light bulbs until they've burned out. When you do replace the bulbs, choose Energy Star-qualified light bulbs with the same wattage as the bulbs you're replacing. These use 75% less energy than incandescent bulbs and they put out 75% less heat.\\nThis can save you on cooling costs during the summer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn off lights and unplug power strips that you're not using.\", \"描述\": \"This is an easy way to reduce energy use. Since some devices can still use energy even when they're turned off, plug your chargers, TVs, and electronic devices into power strips. Turn off these power strips at night to completely cut off energy use.\\nIf you need to leave your computer, TV, or game console on, try setting it to sleep mode instead of simply leaving it on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your faucets and toilets low-flow.\", \"描述\": \"Cut back on water waste by installing flow restrictor aerators inside your faucets and installing a low-flow shower head in your bathroom. This can save 3 to 4 gallons (11 to 15 liters) of water for every minute that water is running. If you're replacing a toilet, look for a WaterSense or low-flow toilet to save thousands of gallons of water a year.\\nRemember to fix leaky faucets or toilets as soon as you notice water dripping.\\nTo reduce your water use and heating bill, limit your showers to 5 minutes. If you'd rather take a bath, only fill the tub half to three-quarters full.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wash your clothes with cold water and line dry them.\", \"描述\": \"Adjust your washing machine to use cold or warm water instead of hot. Since more energy is spent drying the clothes, skip the machine and hang your washed clothes on a clothesline. If you don't have space for a clothesline or can't hang clothes outside, set up a clothes drying rack that you can use inside.\\nTry running your clothes through an extra spin cycle to remove even more water from the clothes. This will make them dry quicker.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use public transportation.\", \"描述\": \"Reduce your gas consumption and carbon emissions by walking, biking, or taking the bus. Keeping cars off of the road in congested cities can also improve the air quality. If you do need to drive somewhere, ask friends if they'd like to carpool so fewer cars are on the road.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cutting Back on Plastics and Waste\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use reusable water bottles and coffee mugs.\", \"描述\": \"Plastic water bottles and coffee cups create a lot of waste. One of the simplest ways to cut back on this plastic waste is to bring along a container that you can fill up at the fountain or hand to your barista. Many coffee shops even offer discounts if you bring your own cup.\\nTry to choose a sustainable material for your reusable bottle. You can buy them in glass, bamboo, and ceramic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say no to unnecessary plastic straws, lids, and bags.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you're going to buy something that may come with a plastic straw, let them know when you're ordering that you don't need one. Ask businesses not to pack your items in plastic bags. Instead, bring your own reusable shopping bags, especially when you grocery shop.\\nIf you frequently order takeout, tell the restaurant or food cart that you want the food packaged in your own containers. This way you won't get plastic utensils, styrofoam or plastic containers, paper napkins, and plastic bags.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy items packed with paper products instead of cardboard.\", \"描述\": \"Choose items that contain minimal packaging that can easily be recycled. For instance, buy powdered laundry detergent in a cardboard box instead of liquid detergent that comes in a large plastic tub. Or buy the item without packaging, if possible.\\nFor example, place several apples loose in your cart instead of buying a bag of apples wrapped in plastic with a plastic tie.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose reusable toiletries.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of shaving with disposable razors, invest in a razor that you can purchase new blades for. To cut down on waste, start using reusable pads that you can wear and wash during your menstrual cycle. You can also use menstrual cups for a waste-free period.\\nYou can also reduce bathroom waste by avoiding travel-sized items. These usually contain a lot of packaging and plastics that are difficult to recycle.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage.\", \"描述\": \"Buy a bento box, tiffin, or lunchbox that you can use to store your lunch. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.\\nRemember to take jars with you when you grocery shop. You can fill them in the bulk bins to cut down on packaging.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reducing, Repurposing, and Recycling\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use items more than once.\", \"描述\": \"To cut back on waste, don't throw something useful away after a single use. Instead, use it again or find a new way to use it. For example, instead of throwing away a brown lunch bag, save it and use it a few more times. Or cut the bag and lay it flat so you can use the brown paper to wrap something. Once it's outlived its usefulness, recycle it.\\nFor example, instead of throwing away wrapping paper and ribbons, use them as materials for a scrapbook.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give away things you no longer need.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your friends and family if they're interested in items you don't want to keep. It's a good idea to keep a bag set aside that you can add unwanted items to. When the bag gets full, have friends and family take what they want or take the bag to a charity.\\nMany thrift or second hand stores will give you a discount for your next purchase if you donate items.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Save and reuse packaging.\", \"描述\": \"Use plastic food containers to store leftovers or keep old bread bags to store baked goods. Keep the waxed bags inside boxes of crackers or cereal and use them to prevent foods from sticking together. For example, lay a waxed bag between layers of prepared hamburgers.\\nKeep empty diaper wipe boxes and store tissues, toys, or crayons in them.\\nPlant small plants in old cans and bottles. Make a garden!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Buy things second-hand.\", \"描述\": \"If you do need to purchase things such as clothing, housewares, books, or appliances, buy them second-hand instead of ordering them new. This will save resources and packaging. To buy things used, check out:\\nThrift or antique stores\\nGarage sales\\nLocal newspaper listings\\nNeighborhood exchanges\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recycle materials that you can't reuse.\", \"描述\": \"Check with your sanitation company about what recyclables they accept. Some companies will let you mix recyclables in one bin while other companies want you to sort it. For example, you can mix paper, cardboard, and metal recyclables, but keep glass separate.\\nYou can usually recycle cans, paper, cardboard, plastic containers, metals, and glass.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Compost\", \"描述\": \"You would be giving back to the environment and having a compost pile will improve soil for gardens. Avoid composting meat, citrus, tea bags, and fish. You can compost:\\nGrass cuttings and leaves\\nVegetable scraps\\nFruit peels and scraps\\nEgg shells\\nCoffee grounds\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Encourage your friends and family to be eco-friendly too! Post eco-friendly changes you've made on social media and challenge your friends to change their habits.\\n\", \"Plant trees around your home to improve air quality and provide a home for creatures.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,690 | How to Be Edgy | 1. Taking Life by the Horns
1-1. Take risks with your life, experiencing as many different things as you can.
Edgy people are always willing to try new things. You don't have to go skydiving if it's not your thing, but you should accept invitations from people you're just getting to know, try a new cuisine you didn't even know existed, or take a last-minute road trip to hike a beautiful mountain. Don't just do the same old thing and make a goal of doing something completely new at least once a week.
Being edgy requires you to fill your life with new ideas, people, and places. To stay on the cutting edge of ideas, you need to constantly be exposed to them!
Start small, if you're feeling timid. Book a single vacation, take up the new hobby you've wanted to try, or try out a new bar or party.
1-2. Follow your dreams, even when they seem like a longshot.
This may sound like it has nothing to do with an edge, but finding your dreams and going after them have everything to do with being confident and cool. Being edgy means looking at everything a little differently, doing your own thing, and being okay with the fact that it may not fit the world's idea of what you should be doing with your life. Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Coco Chanel were all edgy in their own ways, even if they only seemed eccentric or "different" at the time. They succeeded because they kept trying.
Whatever your dreams are, be confident and comfortable about following them. So what if you want to be an actress or to publish a killer novel while knowing there's a good chance it won't happen for you? Following your dreams, however impractical they are, will give you some edge.
And if you don't know what your dreams are, then now is a good time to find out. You can't really be edgy if you're feeling aimless or like you're just plugging along instead of following a passion.
1-3. Know that even bad experiences make for amazing stories.
Do things even if the result may be consequential. Unless you have reason to fear for your life and safety, sometimes you need to just "do it for the story." Edgy people understand that things won't always go perfectly in the moment, but that these challenges and tribulations are the bases of many incredible, edge-of-your-seat stories later on in life.
Though having goals is important, it's also important to sit at the top of a cliff once in a while. Make every experience matter. Do some things just because they feel right.
1-4. Let your passion for life shine through.
It's okay if you don't rush downstairs to greet your roommate the second she walks in the house or tear your eyes off your captivating book the moment your crush walks by. Get engrossed. Get obsessed. Get completely absorbed. It's okay to be so focused that you don't completely notice what's going on around you; what's most important is that you're committed to caring about whatever makes you excited about being alive.
Whenever you do something, give your full attention and effort to the task. You'll not only be edgier, but you'll learn faster and have more meaningful experiences.
1-5. Stand up for yourself and those you love.
Edgy people don't just roll over when challenged. If someone calls you out, gossips about you, or even says something nasty about you to your face, don't back off. You don't have to start a fight or start name-calling, but you should be proud enough to be yourself that you know you're worth defending. Don't let anyone think he can get away with putting you down.
You'll find that most people, when challenged, will back down. Don't feel the need to pursue or punish them if they do -- you've already won the battle.
1-6. Stay up-to-date.
If you want to be edgy, you have to be on the cutting edge of things. This means you should see the new Sundance Film Festival winner, that you should check out the new Burmese restaurant everyone has been raving about, and that you should update your hair and fashion more than once every five years. It also means that you should actually watch the news, read the papers, and be able to carry an intelligent conversation about what's going on in the world.
Being up-to-date doesn't mean you have to copy every trend that comes your way. There's a difference between being aware of trends and following them obsessively.
You can never be current about every topic. Instead, get deeply immersed in the topics that mean the most to you, following your passion.
1-7. Hang out with people who challenge you.
If you run next to someone who is faster than you, you will run faster. If you run next to someone who is way slower, your body will naturally slow down. The same goes for being edgy. If you know someone who is the height of edginess, who you deeply respect and admire and want to emulate, then keep on hanging with that person.
If you know a group of people who likes to stay up late talking about Marxism, going green, or whatever it is that excites you, then make a habit of hanging out with them more.
You don't have to think of them as your "edgy" friends. Just think of them people who encourage you to develop your inner edge.
2. Appearing Edgy in Conversation
2-1. Make strong eye contact with people and keep your posture upright.
When you run into someone, make eye contact instead of looking down at the floor or seeming distracted. Show that you're not afraid to make a connection and that you're completely confident in yourself. Keep your back straight and your chin up, whether sitting or standing, and let your shoulders relax and pull backward. Great posture not only makes you look confident -- you feel it, too.
Making eye contact shows that you're confident and ready to take things to another level.
Don't let anything sag, especially your shoulders and chin. Keeping these two body parts level and strong will help the rest of your posture fall into place naturally.
2-2. Ditch small talk, going straight to conversations that matter.
This doesn't mean "don't be friendly," it means talking about the relationships, ideas, and ideologies that make the world work, even if (especially if) it is the first time you meet people. Challenge others with deep questions, such as their hopes and goals, what they'd rather do than work, and their opinions on the major topics of the day.
Don't be afraid to make people a little uncomfortable at first-- you'll be surprised how many people appreciate deeper conversations than "how about that weather."
Follow your curiosities in a conversation -- don't tailor your topics to what is "polite" or right.
2-3. Let your opinions run free, but be sure you can passionately back them up.
Edgy people tend to stray towards the extremes when they have opinions. This doesn't mean you need to take a stand on every issue -- quite the opposite. Instead, get deep into the issues that really matter, becoming a passionate advocate and leader on the cutting edge of issues. For the rest, remove yourself. It seems paradoxical, but it is far more edgy to ignore an issue you know nothing about than to hop on a bandwagon and pretend.
Some opinions will be unpopular, such as what you think of your sister's new boyfriend or your political views. Just because your opinion is unpopular doesn't mean you should suppress it.
Edgy people need to be well-informed about new developments and ideas, at least in your favorite subjects. Don't equate edgy with uneducated, even if you hate the education system.
2-4. Speak only when you truly have something to say.
Don't mince words, offer half-thought ideas, or give compliments when you don't actually mean them. There is nothing wrong with thoughtful silence, especially when the alternative is mealy, useless conversation. The flip-side of this statement, however, is equally important -- when you truly have something to say, say it!
People will fish for compliments or advice, but there is nothing wrong with being honest if you don't have any to give. In fact, it is far edgier than lying or ignoring the question.
2-5. Ignore the haters, squares, and others who throw you shade.
Who really cares what the "popular" crowd thinks? If they make fun of you, just smile and walk away. This doesn't mean you're being mean or off-putting. Rather, you're realizing that you can only control your own behavior and that you rock. If you can't change the haters, don't bother with them at all.
Don't waste your time trying to please people who don't really matter to you.
Do things for you, not because you feel like someone else wants you to do them.
Never forget that the only person you can control is yourself -- and that's a good thing! Edgy people focus on themselves.
3. Looking Edgy
3-1. Wear clothes because you like them, making that the only criteria for buying clothes.
Who gives a flying care what others think of your clothes, if they match, or if they came from a thrift store? Furthermore, who cares if you spent $5,000 on that new jacket? The only factor determining whether or not you wear something is whether or not you want to wear it.
Get your clothes from anywhere -- garage sales, thrift stores, high-end shops, big-box stores -- and worry about matching later.
That said, dark colors and metallic details can probably add a little edge to your outfit.
3-2. Throw different styles together in the same outfit.
Again, if you think it looks good, this is more than enough. You're not going to be edgy by copying the same trends you see elsewhere, and you're only going to find new outfits that work if you take some risks first.
3-3. Pull and steal style inspiration from everywhere.
Don't feel like you have to be unique just for the sake of being unique-- paradoxically, you're still letting yourself be defined by what is "normal," you're just choosing to show the opposite. But fashion isn't so black and white, and neither are you. When you see something you like, an outfit idea to try, or some new accessories worth rocking, go for it. Take inspiration and ideas from everywhere and you haven't really stolen anything at all -- you've just melded it into your personal style.
Always consider the overall tone or look of a style you like. How can you get this same tone across without the exact same clothes?
If you'd like to just wear a "uniform," or the same basic outfit every day, this can be equally edgy. These people, including Steve Jobs (black turtleneck and jeans) and Barack Obama (gray suit), have largely ditched the societal pressure of choosing new clothes and instead wear the same well-cut, good looking thing each day.
For a quick edgy look, invest in oversized and asymmetrical clothing.
3-4. Use accessories to cheaply expand your wardrobe and look.
Just a few key accessories can kick your edginess up a notch. Girls can wear long chains (gold or silver), bangles, or chunky bracelets. Both guys and girls can wear out-there shoes, crazy earrings, or extra dark sunglasses. Carry a pocket watch if it feels like something you'd enjoy. Accessories let you quickly distinguish yourself without breaking the bank.
Guys can use a messenger bag or a funky belt to edge up their look.
3-5. Consider a tattoo or piercing.
Yes, being edgy is about being yourself, and you should never get a tattoo "just because." That said -- what are you waiting for? The reason there is so much overlap between edgy people and body modification (tattoos, piercings, etc.) is that edgier people tend to regard their body as a temporary canvass. They know that they only get one body, and they might as well "customize" it however they want. The consequences can be damned, because they aren't a big deal -- anyone who doesn't like your tattoo is just too close-minded to be worth the time.
What you choose to get is up to you, but don't discount getting some incredible art just because you love it. Research local tattoo artists and breeze through their collections, or ask them if they'll make a custom design for you.
Get a tattoo because you want it, not because it "probably looks cool." If you like the design still 2-3 days after you first saw it, take the plunge.
Be careful -- tattoos can become addicting!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Life by the Horns\\n1-1. Take risks with your life, experiencing as many different things as you can.\\nEdgy people are always willing to try new things. You don't have to go skydiving if it's not your thing, but you should accept invitations from people you're just getting to know, try a new cuisine you didn't even know existed, or take a last-minute road trip to hike a beautiful mountain. Don't just do the same old thing and make a goal of doing something completely new at least once a week.\\nBeing edgy requires you to fill your life with new ideas, people, and places. To stay on the cutting edge of ideas, you need to constantly be exposed to them!\\nStart small, if you're feeling timid. Book a single vacation, take up the new hobby you've wanted to try, or try out a new bar or party.\\n1-2. Follow your dreams, even when they seem like a longshot.\\nThis may sound like it has nothing to do with an edge, but finding your dreams and going after them have everything to do with being confident and cool. Being edgy means looking at everything a little differently, doing your own thing, and being okay with the fact that it may not fit the world's idea of what you should be doing with your life. Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Coco Chanel were all edgy in their own ways, even if they only seemed eccentric or \\\"different\\\" at the time. They succeeded because they kept trying.\\nWhatever your dreams are, be confident and comfortable about following them. So what if you want to be an actress or to publish a killer novel while knowing there's a good chance it won't happen for you? Following your dreams, however impractical they are, will give you some edge.\\nAnd if you don't know what your dreams are, then now is a good time to find out. You can't really be edgy if you're feeling aimless or like you're just plugging along instead of following a passion.\\n1-3. Know that even bad experiences make for amazing stories.\\nDo things even if the result may be consequential. Unless you have reason to fear for your life and safety, sometimes you need to just \\\"do it for the story.\\\" Edgy people understand that things won't always go perfectly in the moment, but that these challenges and tribulations are the bases of many incredible, edge-of-your-seat stories later on in life.\\nThough having goals is important, it's also important to sit at the top of a cliff once in a while. Make every experience matter. Do some things just because they feel right.\\n1-4. Let your passion for life shine through.\\nIt's okay if you don't rush downstairs to greet your roommate the second she walks in the house or tear your eyes off your captivating book the moment your crush walks by. Get engrossed. Get obsessed. Get completely absorbed. It's okay to be so focused that you don't completely notice what's going on around you; what's most important is that you're committed to caring about whatever makes you excited about being alive.\\nWhenever you do something, give your full attention and effort to the task. You'll not only be edgier, but you'll learn faster and have more meaningful experiences.\\n1-5. Stand up for yourself and those you love.\\nEdgy people don't just roll over when challenged. If someone calls you out, gossips about you, or even says something nasty about you to your face, don't back off. You don't have to start a fight or start name-calling, but you should be proud enough to be yourself that you know you're worth defending. Don't let anyone think he can get away with putting you down.\\nYou'll find that most people, when challenged, will back down. Don't feel the need to pursue or punish them if they do -- you've already won the battle.\\n1-6. Stay up-to-date.\\nIf you want to be edgy, you have to be on the cutting edge of things. This means you should see the new Sundance Film Festival winner, that you should check out the new Burmese restaurant everyone has been raving about, and that you should update your hair and fashion more than once every five years. It also means that you should actually watch the news, read the papers, and be able to carry an intelligent conversation about what's going on in the world.\\nBeing up-to-date doesn't mean you have to copy every trend that comes your way. There's a difference between being aware of trends and following them obsessively.\\nYou can never be current about every topic. Instead, get deeply immersed in the topics that mean the most to you, following your passion.\\n1-7. Hang out with people who challenge you.\\nIf you run next to someone who is faster than you, you will run faster. If you run next to someone who is way slower, your body will naturally slow down. The same goes for being edgy. If you know someone who is the height of edginess, who you deeply respect and admire and want to emulate, then keep on hanging with that person.\\nIf you know a group of people who likes to stay up late talking about Marxism, going green, or whatever it is that excites you, then make a habit of hanging out with them more.\\nYou don't have to think of them as your \\\"edgy\\\" friends. Just think of them people who encourage you to develop your inner edge.\\n2. Appearing Edgy in Conversation\\n2-1. Make strong eye contact with people and keep your posture upright.\\nWhen you run into someone, make eye contact instead of looking down at the floor or seeming distracted. Show that you're not afraid to make a connection and that you're completely confident in yourself. Keep your back straight and your chin up, whether sitting or standing, and let your shoulders relax and pull backward. Great posture not only makes you look confident -- you feel it, too.\\nMaking eye contact shows that you're confident and ready to take things to another level.\\nDon't let anything sag, especially your shoulders and chin. Keeping these two body parts level and strong will help the rest of your posture fall into place naturally.\\n2-2. Ditch small talk, going straight to conversations that matter.\\nThis doesn't mean \\\"don't be friendly,\\\" it means talking about the relationships, ideas, and ideologies that make the world work, even if (especially if) it is the first time you meet people. Challenge others with deep questions, such as their hopes and goals, what they'd rather do than work, and their opinions on the major topics of the day.\\nDon't be afraid to make people a little uncomfortable at first-- you'll be surprised how many people appreciate deeper conversations than \\\"how about that weather.\\\"\\nFollow your curiosities in a conversation -- don't tailor your topics to what is \\\"polite\\\" or right.\\n2-3. Let your opinions run free, but be sure you can passionately back them up.\\nEdgy people tend to stray towards the extremes when they have opinions. This doesn't mean you need to take a stand on every issue -- quite the opposite. Instead, get deep into the issues that really matter, becoming a passionate advocate and leader on the cutting edge of issues. For the rest, remove yourself. It seems paradoxical, but it is far more edgy to ignore an issue you know nothing about than to hop on a bandwagon and pretend.\\nSome opinions will be unpopular, such as what you think of your sister's new boyfriend or your political views. Just because your opinion is unpopular doesn't mean you should suppress it.\\nEdgy people need to be well-informed about new developments and ideas, at least in your favorite subjects. Don't equate edgy with uneducated, even if you hate the education system.\\n2-4. Speak only when you truly have something to say.\\nDon't mince words, offer half-thought ideas, or give compliments when you don't actually mean them. There is nothing wrong with thoughtful silence, especially when the alternative is mealy, useless conversation. The flip-side of this statement, however, is equally important -- when you truly have something to say, say it!\\nPeople will fish for compliments or advice, but there is nothing wrong with being honest if you don't have any to give. In fact, it is far edgier than lying or ignoring the question.\\n2-5. Ignore the haters, squares, and others who throw you shade.\\nWho really cares what the \\\"popular\\\" crowd thinks? If they make fun of you, just smile and walk away. This doesn't mean you're being mean or off-putting. Rather, you're realizing that you can only control your own behavior and that you rock. If you can't change the haters, don't bother with them at all.\\nDon't waste your time trying to please people who don't really matter to you.\\nDo things for you, not because you feel like someone else wants you to do them.\\nNever forget that the only person you can control is yourself -- and that's a good thing! Edgy people focus on themselves.\\n3. Looking Edgy\\n3-1. Wear clothes because you like them, making that the only criteria for buying clothes.\\nWho gives a flying care what others think of your clothes, if they match, or if they came from a thrift store? Furthermore, who cares if you spent $5,000 on that new jacket? The only factor determining whether or not you wear something is whether or not you want to wear it.\\nGet your clothes from anywhere -- garage sales, thrift stores, high-end shops, big-box stores -- and worry about matching later.\\nThat said, dark colors and metallic details can probably add a little edge to your outfit.\\n3-2. Throw different styles together in the same outfit.\\nAgain, if you think it looks good, this is more than enough. You're not going to be edgy by copying the same trends you see elsewhere, and you're only going to find new outfits that work if you take some risks first.\\n3-3. Pull and steal style inspiration from everywhere.\\nDon't feel like you have to be unique just for the sake of being unique-- paradoxically, you're still letting yourself be defined by what is \\\"normal,\\\" you're just choosing to show the opposite. But fashion isn't so black and white, and neither are you. When you see something you like, an outfit idea to try, or some new accessories worth rocking, go for it. Take inspiration and ideas from everywhere and you haven't really stolen anything at all -- you've just melded it into your personal style.\\nAlways consider the overall tone or look of a style you like. How can you get this same tone across without the exact same clothes?\\nIf you'd like to just wear a \\\"uniform,\\\" or the same basic outfit every day, this can be equally edgy. These people, including Steve Jobs (black turtleneck and jeans) and Barack Obama (gray suit), have largely ditched the societal pressure of choosing new clothes and instead wear the same well-cut, good looking thing each day.\\nFor a quick edgy look, invest in oversized and asymmetrical clothing.\\n3-4. Use accessories to cheaply expand your wardrobe and look.\\nJust a few key accessories can kick your edginess up a notch. Girls can wear long chains (gold or silver), bangles, or chunky bracelets. Both guys and girls can wear out-there shoes, crazy earrings, or extra dark sunglasses. Carry a pocket watch if it feels like something you'd enjoy. Accessories let you quickly distinguish yourself without breaking the bank.\\nGuys can use a messenger bag or a funky belt to edge up their look.\\n3-5. Consider a tattoo or piercing.\\nYes, being edgy is about being yourself, and you should never get a tattoo \\\"just because.\\\" That said -- what are you waiting for? The reason there is so much overlap between edgy people and body modification (tattoos, piercings, etc.) is that edgier people tend to regard their body as a temporary canvass. They know that they only get one body, and they might as well \\\"customize\\\" it however they want. The consequences can be damned, because they aren't a big deal -- anyone who doesn't like your tattoo is just too close-minded to be worth the time.\\nWhat you choose to get is up to you, but don't discount getting some incredible art just because you love it. Research local tattoo artists and breeze through their collections, or ask them if they'll make a custom design for you.\\nGet a tattoo because you want it, not because it \\\"probably looks cool.\\\" If you like the design still 2-3 days after you first saw it, take the plunge.\\nBe careful -- tattoos can become addicting!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being edgy means having spunk, following your dreams, and not caring about who gets in your way. Follow your dreams by overlooking the adversaries. Being edgy is about taking risks and always challenging yourself to be on the cutting, well, edge.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Life by the Horns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take risks with your life, experiencing as many different things as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Edgy people are always willing to try new things. You don't have to go skydiving if it's not your thing, but you should accept invitations from people you're just getting to know, try a new cuisine you didn't even know existed, or take a last-minute road trip to hike a beautiful mountain. Don't just do the same old thing and make a goal of doing something completely new at least once a week.\\nBeing edgy requires you to fill your life with new ideas, people, and places. To stay on the cutting edge of ideas, you need to constantly be exposed to them!\\nStart small, if you're feeling timid. Book a single vacation, take up the new hobby you've wanted to try, or try out a new bar or party.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow your dreams, even when they seem like a longshot.\", \"描述\": \"This may sound like it has nothing to do with an edge, but finding your dreams and going after them have everything to do with being confident and cool. Being edgy means looking at everything a little differently, doing your own thing, and being okay with the fact that it may not fit the world's idea of what you should be doing with your life. Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Coco Chanel were all edgy in their own ways, even if they only seemed eccentric or \\\"different\\\" at the time. They succeeded because they kept trying.\\nWhatever your dreams are, be confident and comfortable about following them. So what if you want to be an actress or to publish a killer novel while knowing there's a good chance it won't happen for you? Following your dreams, however impractical they are, will give you some edge.\\nAnd if you don't know what your dreams are, then now is a good time to find out. You can't really be edgy if you're feeling aimless or like you're just plugging along instead of following a passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know that even bad experiences make for amazing stories.\", \"描述\": \"Do things even if the result may be consequential. Unless you have reason to fear for your life and safety, sometimes you need to just \\\"do it for the story.\\\" Edgy people understand that things won't always go perfectly in the moment, but that these challenges and tribulations are the bases of many incredible, edge-of-your-seat stories later on in life.\\nThough having goals is important, it's also important to sit at the top of a cliff once in a while. Make every experience matter. Do some things just because they feel right.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let your passion for life shine through.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay if you don't rush downstairs to greet your roommate the second she walks in the house or tear your eyes off your captivating book the moment your crush walks by. Get engrossed. Get obsessed. Get completely absorbed. It's okay to be so focused that you don't completely notice what's going on around you; what's most important is that you're committed to caring about whatever makes you excited about being alive.\\nWhenever you do something, give your full attention and effort to the task. You'll not only be edgier, but you'll learn faster and have more meaningful experiences.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself and those you love.\", \"描述\": \"Edgy people don't just roll over when challenged. If someone calls you out, gossips about you, or even says something nasty about you to your face, don't back off. You don't have to start a fight or start name-calling, but you should be proud enough to be yourself that you know you're worth defending. Don't let anyone think he can get away with putting you down.\\nYou'll find that most people, when challenged, will back down. Don't feel the need to pursue or punish them if they do -- you've already won the battle.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay up-to-date.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be edgy, you have to be on the cutting edge of things. This means you should see the new Sundance Film Festival winner, that you should check out the new Burmese restaurant everyone has been raving about, and that you should update your hair and fashion more than once every five years. It also means that you should actually watch the news, read the papers, and be able to carry an intelligent conversation about what's going on in the world.\\nBeing up-to-date doesn't mean you have to copy every trend that comes your way. There's a difference between being aware of trends and following them obsessively.\\nYou can never be current about every topic. Instead, get deeply immersed in the topics that mean the most to you, following your passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Hang out with people who challenge you.\", \"描述\": \"If you run next to someone who is faster than you, you will run faster. If you run next to someone who is way slower, your body will naturally slow down. The same goes for being edgy. If you know someone who is the height of edginess, who you deeply respect and admire and want to emulate, then keep on hanging with that person.\\nIf you know a group of people who likes to stay up late talking about Marxism, going green, or whatever it is that excites you, then make a habit of hanging out with them more.\\nYou don't have to think of them as your \\\"edgy\\\" friends. Just think of them people who encourage you to develop your inner edge.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appearing Edgy in Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make strong eye contact with people and keep your posture upright.\", \"描述\": \"When you run into someone, make eye contact instead of looking down at the floor or seeming distracted. Show that you're not afraid to make a connection and that you're completely confident in yourself. Keep your back straight and your chin up, whether sitting or standing, and let your shoulders relax and pull backward. Great posture not only makes you look confident -- you feel it, too.\\nMaking eye contact shows that you're confident and ready to take things to another level.\\nDon't let anything sag, especially your shoulders and chin. Keeping these two body parts level and strong will help the rest of your posture fall into place naturally.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ditch small talk, going straight to conversations that matter.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean \\\"don't be friendly,\\\" it means talking about the relationships, ideas, and ideologies that make the world work, even if (especially if) it is the first time you meet people. Challenge others with deep questions, such as their hopes and goals, what they'd rather do than work, and their opinions on the major topics of the day.\\nDon't be afraid to make people a little uncomfortable at first-- you'll be surprised how many people appreciate deeper conversations than \\\"how about that weather.\\\"\\nFollow your curiosities in a conversation -- don't tailor your topics to what is \\\"polite\\\" or right.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let your opinions run free, but be sure you can passionately back them up.\", \"描述\": \"Edgy people tend to stray towards the extremes when they have opinions. This doesn't mean you need to take a stand on every issue -- quite the opposite. Instead, get deep into the issues that really matter, becoming a passionate advocate and leader on the cutting edge of issues. For the rest, remove yourself. It seems paradoxical, but it is far more edgy to ignore an issue you know nothing about than to hop on a bandwagon and pretend.\\nSome opinions will be unpopular, such as what you think of your sister's new boyfriend or your political views. Just because your opinion is unpopular doesn't mean you should suppress it.\\nEdgy people need to be well-informed about new developments and ideas, at least in your favorite subjects. Don't equate edgy with uneducated, even if you hate the education system.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak only when you truly have something to say.\", \"描述\": \"Don't mince words, offer half-thought ideas, or give compliments when you don't actually mean them. There is nothing wrong with thoughtful silence, especially when the alternative is mealy, useless conversation. The flip-side of this statement, however, is equally important -- when you truly have something to say, say it!\\nPeople will fish for compliments or advice, but there is nothing wrong with being honest if you don't have any to give. In fact, it is far edgier than lying or ignoring the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ignore the haters, squares, and others who throw you shade.\", \"描述\": \"Who really cares what the \\\"popular\\\" crowd thinks? If they make fun of you, just smile and walk away. This doesn't mean you're being mean or off-putting. Rather, you're realizing that you can only control your own behavior and that you rock. If you can't change the haters, don't bother with them at all.\\nDon't waste your time trying to please people who don't really matter to you.\\nDo things for you, not because you feel like someone else wants you to do them.\\nNever forget that the only person you can control is yourself -- and that's a good thing! Edgy people focus on themselves.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Edgy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes because you like them, making that the only criteria for buying clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Who gives a flying care what others think of your clothes, if they match, or if they came from a thrift store? Furthermore, who cares if you spent $5,000 on that new jacket? The only factor determining whether or not you wear something is whether or not you want to wear it.\\nGet your clothes from anywhere -- garage sales, thrift stores, high-end shops, big-box stores -- and worry about matching later.\\nThat said, dark colors and metallic details can probably add a little edge to your outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Throw different styles together in the same outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Again, if you think it looks good, this is more than enough. You're not going to be edgy by copying the same trends you see elsewhere, and you're only going to find new outfits that work if you take some risks first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pull and steal style inspiration from everywhere.\", \"描述\": \"Don't feel like you have to be unique just for the sake of being unique-- paradoxically, you're still letting yourself be defined by what is \\\"normal,\\\" you're just choosing to show the opposite. But fashion isn't so black and white, and neither are you. When you see something you like, an outfit idea to try, or some new accessories worth rocking, go for it. Take inspiration and ideas from everywhere and you haven't really stolen anything at all -- you've just melded it into your personal style.\\nAlways consider the overall tone or look of a style you like. How can you get this same tone across without the exact same clothes?\\nIf you'd like to just wear a \\\"uniform,\\\" or the same basic outfit every day, this can be equally edgy. These people, including Steve Jobs (black turtleneck and jeans) and Barack Obama (gray suit), have largely ditched the societal pressure of choosing new clothes and instead wear the same well-cut, good looking thing each day.\\nFor a quick edgy look, invest in oversized and asymmetrical clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use accessories to cheaply expand your wardrobe and look.\", \"描述\": \"Just a few key accessories can kick your edginess up a notch. Girls can wear long chains (gold or silver), bangles, or chunky bracelets. Both guys and girls can wear out-there shoes, crazy earrings, or extra dark sunglasses. Carry a pocket watch if it feels like something you'd enjoy. Accessories let you quickly distinguish yourself without breaking the bank.\\nGuys can use a messenger bag or a funky belt to edge up their look.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider a tattoo or piercing.\", \"描述\": \"Yes, being edgy is about being yourself, and you should never get a tattoo \\\"just because.\\\" That said -- what are you waiting for? The reason there is so much overlap between edgy people and body modification (tattoos, piercings, etc.) is that edgier people tend to regard their body as a temporary canvass. They know that they only get one body, and they might as well \\\"customize\\\" it however they want. The consequences can be damned, because they aren't a big deal -- anyone who doesn't like your tattoo is just too close-minded to be worth the time.\\nWhat you choose to get is up to you, but don't discount getting some incredible art just because you love it. Research local tattoo artists and breeze through their collections, or ask them if they'll make a custom design for you.\\nGet a tattoo because you want it, not because it \\\"probably looks cool.\\\" If you like the design still 2-3 days after you first saw it, take the plunge.\\nBe careful -- tattoos can become addicting!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,691 | How to Be Effective in Minecraft PvP | 1. Steps
1-1. Find a good Minecraft Player Versus Player server.
1-2. Prepare yourself.
Get a good look at your arena and the people are going to be playing against. Put your food in your hotbar and be sure your armor is at high durability and you are full health
If the server you are on supports the McMMO plugin, then it may be wise to train up the skill of your weapon choice before going into battle, which will give you bonus damage, as well as with acrobatics, as that can allow you to dodge some attacks.
1-3. Get some weapons.
This can change depending on your play style. This could mean TNT or flint and steel, or a bow and some arrows, or a sword. Having several buckets of lava to put down is recommended as they can deal big damage quickly. Flint and Steel could be used too.
1-4. Bring food.
Some servers also use only items such as health potions or golden apples.
If the server you are playing uses health potions, learn how to quick use them.
1-5. Be ready and wait for an opponent to come.
Make sure they are not an admin, have better things than you, or just plain scary.
1-6. Go in and attack them.
If you caught them off guard, you should be able to land a few easy hits in before they realize what is happening. You could also put a cobweb down around them so they couldn't run away or put down a block of lava to slow them down and put more damage on them.
1-7. Jump from side to side.
This will not only make you a hard target to hit, but it can give you critical hits. Contrary to popular belief, criticals are not achieved by jumping, but rather by falling. Knowing this, time your shots so that you will hit the enemy as you are falling from your jump.
Jumping can also make you take more knockback which means you're more vulnerable to being locked in a combo. It's best to only use critical hits when you're attacking from behind.
1-8. Use blocking effectively.
This is where you hold the right mouse key with your sword out in between hits and jumping. Blocking reduces the damage taken from all sources by half, including TNT and other people's attacks. However, this limits your mobility, so knowing to do this when not running is vital.
1-9. Use the keys A and D to run around your enemy without jumping.
This is called strafing, and makes it harder for your opponent to hit you, but is easy for you. Many players are good at this, and will help you a lot. When strafing, you can also change sides by switching keys, and make a pattern.
1-10. Eat efficiently.
Odds are your enemy will be just as skilled as you are with their attacks, so you are going to need to be able to outlast them in the food department. Using the numbers above your keyboard, you should be able to switch to the food, eat it, then switch to your weapon/other food with a matter of seconds. This may seem challenging at first, however with good typing management, this is easy.
Tips
Be careful when looting your kill, as someone could come behind you and kill you without you knowing it.
Never log out when you're in combat. You will die and lose all your stuff.
If you're going to die, then you can ender pearl away to safety and make a run for it.
Warnings
Some server use splash potions of healing instead of normal drinking ones. Use them carefully as you can also splash your opponents, healing them and leaving you in a bad spot to fight.
DO NOT go against hackers if you're not confident or have good gear. Kill aura hackers are the ones you should avoid the most as they fly around you while hitting you consistently while you can hardly hit them.
You probably won't get your items back if you leave, so watch out against who you're playing with.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Find a good Minecraft Player Versus Player server.\\n\\n1-2. Prepare yourself.\\nGet a good look at your arena and the people are going to be playing against. Put your food in your hotbar and be sure your armor is at high durability and you are full health\\nIf the server you are on supports the McMMO plugin, then it may be wise to train up the skill of your weapon choice before going into battle, which will give you bonus damage, as well as with acrobatics, as that can allow you to dodge some attacks.\\n1-3. Get some weapons.\\nThis can change depending on your play style. This could mean TNT or flint and steel, or a bow and some arrows, or a sword. Having several buckets of lava to put down is recommended as they can deal big damage quickly. Flint and Steel could be used too.\\n1-4. Bring food.\\nSome servers also use only items such as health potions or golden apples.\\nIf the server you are playing uses health potions, learn how to quick use them.\\n1-5. Be ready and wait for an opponent to come.\\nMake sure they are not an admin, have better things than you, or just plain scary.\\n1-6. Go in and attack them.\\nIf you caught them off guard, you should be able to land a few easy hits in before they realize what is happening. You could also put a cobweb down around them so they couldn't run away or put down a block of lava to slow them down and put more damage on them.\\n1-7. Jump from side to side.\\nThis will not only make you a hard target to hit, but it can give you critical hits. Contrary to popular belief, criticals are not achieved by jumping, but rather by falling. Knowing this, time your shots so that you will hit the enemy as you are falling from your jump.\\nJumping can also make you take more knockback which means you're more vulnerable to being locked in a combo. It's best to only use critical hits when you're attacking from behind.\\n1-8. Use blocking effectively.\\nThis is where you hold the right mouse key with your sword out in between hits and jumping. Blocking reduces the damage taken from all sources by half, including TNT and other people's attacks. However, this limits your mobility, so knowing to do this when not running is vital.\\n1-9. Use the keys A and D to run around your enemy without jumping.\\nThis is called strafing, and makes it harder for your opponent to hit you, but is easy for you. Many players are good at this, and will help you a lot. When strafing, you can also change sides by switching keys, and make a pattern.\\n1-10. Eat efficiently.\\nOdds are your enemy will be just as skilled as you are with their attacks, so you are going to need to be able to outlast them in the food department. Using the numbers above your keyboard, you should be able to switch to the food, eat it, then switch to your weapon/other food with a matter of seconds. This may seem challenging at first, however with good typing management, this is easy.\\nTips\\nBe careful when looting your kill, as someone could come behind you and kill you without you knowing it.\\nNever log out when you're in combat. You will die and lose all your stuff.\\nIf you're going to die, then you can ender pearl away to safety and make a run for it.\\nWarnings\\nSome server use splash potions of healing instead of normal drinking ones. Use them carefully as you can also splash your opponents, healing them and leaving you in a bad spot to fight.\\nDO NOT go against hackers if you're not confident or have good gear. Kill aura hackers are the ones you should avoid the most as they fly around you while hitting you consistently while you can hardly hit them.\\nYou probably won't get your items back if you leave, so watch out against who you're playing with.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've ever played on a Minecraft PVP server, you probably have been destroyed and lost all your items. If you want to live and get tons of loot, this article is for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a good Minecraft Player Versus Player server.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Get a good look at your arena and the people are going to be playing against. Put your food in your hotbar and be sure your armor is at high durability and you are full health\\nIf the server you are on supports the McMMO plugin, then it may be wise to train up the skill of your weapon choice before going into battle, which will give you bonus damage, as well as with acrobatics, as that can allow you to dodge some attacks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get some weapons.\", \"描述\": \"This can change depending on your play style. This could mean TNT or flint and steel, or a bow and some arrows, or a sword. Having several buckets of lava to put down is recommended as they can deal big damage quickly. Flint and Steel could be used too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring food.\", \"描述\": \"Some servers also use only items such as health potions or golden apples.\\nIf the server you are playing uses health potions, learn how to quick use them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be ready and wait for an opponent to come.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure they are not an admin, have better things than you, or just plain scary.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go in and attack them.\", \"描述\": \"If you caught them off guard, you should be able to land a few easy hits in before they realize what is happening. You could also put a cobweb down around them so they couldn't run away or put down a block of lava to slow them down and put more damage on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Jump from side to side.\", \"描述\": \"This will not only make you a hard target to hit, but it can give you critical hits. Contrary to popular belief, criticals are not achieved by jumping, but rather by falling. Knowing this, time your shots so that you will hit the enemy as you are falling from your jump.\\nJumping can also make you take more knockback which means you're more vulnerable to being locked in a combo. It's best to only use critical hits when you're attacking from behind.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use blocking effectively.\", \"描述\": \"This is where you hold the right mouse key with your sword out in between hits and jumping. Blocking reduces the damage taken from all sources by half, including TNT and other people's attacks. However, this limits your mobility, so knowing to do this when not running is vital.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use the keys A and D to run around your enemy without jumping.\", \"描述\": \"This is called strafing, and makes it harder for your opponent to hit you, but is easy for you. Many players are good at this, and will help you a lot. When strafing, you can also change sides by switching keys, and make a pattern.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Eat efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"Odds are your enemy will be just as skilled as you are with their attacks, so you are going to need to be able to outlast them in the food department. Using the numbers above your keyboard, you should be able to switch to the food, eat it, then switch to your weapon/other food with a matter of seconds. This may seem challenging at first, however with good typing management, this is easy.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be careful when looting your kill, as someone could come behind you and kill you without you knowing it.\\n\", \"Never log out when you're in combat. You will die and lose all your stuff.\\n\", \"If you're going to die, then you can ender pearl away to safety and make a run for it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some server use splash potions of healing instead of normal drinking ones. Use them carefully as you can also splash your opponents, healing them and leaving you in a bad spot to fight.\\n\", \"DO NOT go against hackers if you're not confident or have good gear. Kill aura hackers are the ones you should avoid the most as they fly around you while hitting you consistently while you can hardly hit them.\\n\", \"You probably won't get your items back if you leave, so watch out against who you're playing with.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,692 | How to Be Efficient | 1. Changing Habits
1-1. Get 7 – 9 hours of sleep
Inadequate sleep can lead to fatigue, which can sabotage your productivity. Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.
Teens should aim to get 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night.
To help yourself establish a healthy sleep routine, set an alarm to remind yourself to go to sleep at the same time every night.
If you find that you are still fatigued after getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night, you may want to consider consulting a doctor, as daytime fatigue may be a symptom of sleep apnea or another underlying health condition.
1-2. Eat healthy snacks
If your body is hungry when you work, your productivity will suffer. Healthy snacks like almonds and chia seeds have fatty acids that will keep your mind alert and focused. Fruits and vegetables are also healthy options.
Avoid snacking on carbohydrates or junk food. These foods can drain you of energy.
1-3. Save important and difficult tasks for times when you feel energized.
If you feel most focused and energized in the morning, work on your most important or difficult task then. And, if you’re a night owl, use your mornings to work on simple and unimportant tasks. Trying to complete important or difficult tasks when you feel fatigued will reduce your overall productivity.
Everybody works best at different times of the day, so experiment with your schedule to find out when you work most efficiently.
1-4. Adopt a confident and relaxed posture to increase your confidence.
The physical posture you assume can have a psychosomatic and neurological effect on you. Imitating a confident smile and posture, for example, can spur your brain to feel confident, which can lead to gains in productivity.
Forcing yourself to smile, for example, can lead to the release of endorphins, which will help you feel less stressed about a project.
1-5. Try to say no at least once a week.
If you’re the type of person who is always saying yes to your coworkers, friends, and family members, you may find yourself in the position of having trouble finishing important tasks because you’re always doing things for other people.
Saying no can be difficult, but committing yourself to turning down at least 1 request from a friend, coworker, or family member a week will free up additional time for you to finish an important project or progress toward one of your long-term goals.
When deciding whether to say no to a request, ask yourself the following questions: Can the requester finish the task on their own? Is there anyone else available to help? What are the consequences if the task isn’t completed?
2. Organizing Your Day
2-1. Write down your short-term and long-term goals so you can prioritize.
Rank your goals and tasks for the next decade, year, month, week, and day. Having this list nearby will allow you to stay focused on the most important tasks before you.
When setting goals, start by imagining where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years, and then create an outline of the shorter-term goals you’ll need to accomplish to reach this goal.
Be as precise as possible when you’re setting your goals. If your goals are more concrete, it will be easier for you to think of the concrete steps you’ll have to take to reach them.
Keep these lists of goals somewhere visible while you work to keep yourself motivated.
2-2. Create a daily to-do-list to organize your day.
The best time to write up a to-do-list is right before you go to sleep. Write down all the tasks you need to complete the following day in order from most important to least important.
Break your day into hour-long time slots and assign a task to a specific time slot.
2-3. Set time limits for all your tasks.
Setting a firm time limit for a task will force you to finish it in a certain amount of time. If you set aside a relatively short amount of time, you will force yourself to complete your work without procrastinating.
Setting a time limit that is too short can cause you to rush and produce lower quality work, so try to find the sweet spot between a deadline that is too short and one that is too long.
Set a deadline by which you know you can finish the task, but only if your work is free of distractions.
2-4. Take advantage of short 5-minute periods to complete small tasks.
Set aside 2- to 5-minute periods throughout the day. During these short windows of time, commit yourself to completing one small task. This can be composing a short email, checking a voicemail, etc. Completing a task within a 5-minute window will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to complete more tasks
Try to set aside 1 of these short periods once every hour or so.
Try to limit the amount of time you spend thinking about the task before doing it. Overthinking can lead to anxiety and procrastination.
2-5. Break large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.
Large projects can be overwhelming. Worrying about completing them can cause intense anxiety, which can lead to procrastination. Treating large projects as a series of small tasks can ease some of this anxiety.
If you are writing a 10-page paper, for instance, approach it one paragraph at a time.
2-6. Take a strategic break every hour to stay energized.
Working nonstop without a break can leave you fatigued and steadily reduce your efficiency. Try to work hard and stay focused without distractions for 50 minutes and then take a 20-minute break.
Working without taking enough breaks over a long period of time can lead to burnout, which may lead to a deterioration of your efficiency over the long term.
When you take your break, write down all of the things you did in the past hour so you can see how you're managing your time.
3. Getting Things Done Faster
3-1. Avoid multitasking so you can focus your attention on a single task.
In the modern world with cellphones, email, and the internet, it can be difficult to avoid multitasking. Focusing on more than one task at a time, however, can prevent you from getting into a flow.
If you’re doing work on your computer, try installing an app or program that limits your access to websites that are not required for your work.
When working on a project, silence your cellphone and keep it in another room, out of reach. Designate specific times to check for any messages and voicemails.
3-2. Find shortcuts to complete tasks you do on a regular basis.
If you regularly use certain computer programs to do work, for example, learn keyboard shortcuts for common actions. Or, if you frequently write emails to schedule meetings, make a template for that type of email so that you don’t have to write them from scratch every time.
Ask colleagues and friends about any shortcuts they may use to speed up their work.
3-3. Delegate tasks to classmates, friends, or employees.
If you are working on a school or work project, make sure the workload is divided evenly among everyone who has a stake in the project’s completion. Trying to do all the work yourself will stress you out and prolong the time it takes to finish the project.
When delegating, try to present your request as an appeal for help rather than an order to minimize friction.
If you’re not the one in charge of the group or team and believe the workload hasn’t been distributed evenly, explain to the group leader or another member of the group that you could use some help completing the task(s) assigned to you.
If you feel that the other members of the group or team aren’t doing their part, avoid pointing blame and instead try to get them involved in the project by asking for help on specific tasks.
3-4. Reduce the number of daily decisions you have to make.
Making decisions takes energy. The more decisions you make, the more energy you expend. You can reduce the number of daily decisions you make and conserve your energy by eliminating or outsourcing decisions about simple daily tasks, such as what to wear or what to eat.
To simplify your daily decision about what to wear, simplify your wardrobe. Reduce your choice to two or three different outfits.
Make a weekly breakfast, lunch, and dinner plan, so that you don’t have to agonize about what to make on a daily basis.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Habits\\n1-1. Get 7 – 9 hours of sleep\\nInadequate sleep can lead to fatigue, which can sabotage your productivity. Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.\\nTeens should aim to get 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night.\\nTo help yourself establish a healthy sleep routine, set an alarm to remind yourself to go to sleep at the same time every night.\\nIf you find that you are still fatigued after getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night, you may want to consider consulting a doctor, as daytime fatigue may be a symptom of sleep apnea or another underlying health condition.\\n1-2. Eat healthy snacks\\nIf your body is hungry when you work, your productivity will suffer. Healthy snacks like almonds and chia seeds have fatty acids that will keep your mind alert and focused. Fruits and vegetables are also healthy options.\\nAvoid snacking on carbohydrates or junk food. These foods can drain you of energy.\\n1-3. Save important and difficult tasks for times when you feel energized.\\nIf you feel most focused and energized in the morning, work on your most important or difficult task then. And, if you’re a night owl, use your mornings to work on simple and unimportant tasks. Trying to complete important or difficult tasks when you feel fatigued will reduce your overall productivity.\\nEverybody works best at different times of the day, so experiment with your schedule to find out when you work most efficiently.\\n1-4. Adopt a confident and relaxed posture to increase your confidence.\\nThe physical posture you assume can have a psychosomatic and neurological effect on you. Imitating a confident smile and posture, for example, can spur your brain to feel confident, which can lead to gains in productivity.\\nForcing yourself to smile, for example, can lead to the release of endorphins, which will help you feel less stressed about a project.\\n1-5. Try to say no at least once a week.\\nIf you’re the type of person who is always saying yes to your coworkers, friends, and family members, you may find yourself in the position of having trouble finishing important tasks because you’re always doing things for other people.\\nSaying no can be difficult, but committing yourself to turning down at least 1 request from a friend, coworker, or family member a week will free up additional time for you to finish an important project or progress toward one of your long-term goals.\\nWhen deciding whether to say no to a request, ask yourself the following questions: Can the requester finish the task on their own? Is there anyone else available to help? What are the consequences if the task isn’t completed?\\n2. Organizing Your Day\\n2-1. Write down your short-term and long-term goals so you can prioritize.\\nRank your goals and tasks for the next decade, year, month, week, and day. Having this list nearby will allow you to stay focused on the most important tasks before you.\\nWhen setting goals, start by imagining where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years, and then create an outline of the shorter-term goals you’ll need to accomplish to reach this goal.\\nBe as precise as possible when you’re setting your goals. If your goals are more concrete, it will be easier for you to think of the concrete steps you’ll have to take to reach them.\\nKeep these lists of goals somewhere visible while you work to keep yourself motivated.\\n2-2. Create a daily to-do-list to organize your day.\\nThe best time to write up a to-do-list is right before you go to sleep. Write down all the tasks you need to complete the following day in order from most important to least important.\\nBreak your day into hour-long time slots and assign a task to a specific time slot.\\n2-3. Set time limits for all your tasks.\\nSetting a firm time limit for a task will force you to finish it in a certain amount of time. If you set aside a relatively short amount of time, you will force yourself to complete your work without procrastinating.\\nSetting a time limit that is too short can cause you to rush and produce lower quality work, so try to find the sweet spot between a deadline that is too short and one that is too long.\\nSet a deadline by which you know you can finish the task, but only if your work is free of distractions.\\n2-4. Take advantage of short 5-minute periods to complete small tasks.\\nSet aside 2- to 5-minute periods throughout the day. During these short windows of time, commit yourself to completing one small task. This can be composing a short email, checking a voicemail, etc. Completing a task within a 5-minute window will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to complete more tasks\\nTry to set aside 1 of these short periods once every hour or so.\\nTry to limit the amount of time you spend thinking about the task before doing it. Overthinking can lead to anxiety and procrastination.\\n2-5. Break large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.\\nLarge projects can be overwhelming. Worrying about completing them can cause intense anxiety, which can lead to procrastination. Treating large projects as a series of small tasks can ease some of this anxiety.\\nIf you are writing a 10-page paper, for instance, approach it one paragraph at a time.\\n2-6. Take a strategic break every hour to stay energized.\\nWorking nonstop without a break can leave you fatigued and steadily reduce your efficiency. Try to work hard and stay focused without distractions for 50 minutes and then take a 20-minute break.\\nWorking without taking enough breaks over a long period of time can lead to burnout, which may lead to a deterioration of your efficiency over the long term.\\nWhen you take your break, write down all of the things you did in the past hour so you can see how you're managing your time.\\n3. Getting Things Done Faster\\n3-1. Avoid multitasking so you can focus your attention on a single task.\\nIn the modern world with cellphones, email, and the internet, it can be difficult to avoid multitasking. Focusing on more than one task at a time, however, can prevent you from getting into a flow.\\nIf you’re doing work on your computer, try installing an app or program that limits your access to websites that are not required for your work.\\nWhen working on a project, silence your cellphone and keep it in another room, out of reach. Designate specific times to check for any messages and voicemails.\\n3-2. Find shortcuts to complete tasks you do on a regular basis.\\nIf you regularly use certain computer programs to do work, for example, learn keyboard shortcuts for common actions. Or, if you frequently write emails to schedule meetings, make a template for that type of email so that you don’t have to write them from scratch every time.\\nAsk colleagues and friends about any shortcuts they may use to speed up their work.\\n3-3. Delegate tasks to classmates, friends, or employees.\\nIf you are working on a school or work project, make sure the workload is divided evenly among everyone who has a stake in the project’s completion. Trying to do all the work yourself will stress you out and prolong the time it takes to finish the project.\\nWhen delegating, try to present your request as an appeal for help rather than an order to minimize friction.\\nIf you’re not the one in charge of the group or team and believe the workload hasn’t been distributed evenly, explain to the group leader or another member of the group that you could use some help completing the task(s) assigned to you.\\nIf you feel that the other members of the group or team aren’t doing their part, avoid pointing blame and instead try to get them involved in the project by asking for help on specific tasks.\\n3-4. Reduce the number of daily decisions you have to make.\\nMaking decisions takes energy. The more decisions you make, the more energy you expend. You can reduce the number of daily decisions you make and conserve your energy by eliminating or outsourcing decisions about simple daily tasks, such as what to wear or what to eat.\\nTo simplify your daily decision about what to wear, simplify your wardrobe. Reduce your choice to two or three different outfits.\\nMake a weekly breakfast, lunch, and dinner plan, so that you don’t have to agonize about what to make on a daily basis.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being efficient can be a struggle. Fatigue, anxiety, procrastination, and the barrage of daily distractions stifle productivity. Although the obstacles to greater efficiency are imposing, you can take some simple steps to improve your efficiency. Getting enough rest every night, dividing large projects into smaller and more manageable tasks, and setting time limits and deadlines for yourself are simple steps you can take to make yourself more efficient.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get 7 – 9 hours of sleep\", \"描述\": \"Inadequate sleep can lead to fatigue, which can sabotage your productivity. Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.\\nTeens should aim to get 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night.\\nTo help yourself establish a healthy sleep routine, set an alarm to remind yourself to go to sleep at the same time every night.\\nIf you find that you are still fatigued after getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night, you may want to consider consulting a doctor, as daytime fatigue may be a symptom of sleep apnea or another underlying health condition.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy snacks\", \"描述\": \"If your body is hungry when you work, your productivity will suffer. Healthy snacks like almonds and chia seeds have fatty acids that will keep your mind alert and focused. Fruits and vegetables are also healthy options.\\nAvoid snacking on carbohydrates or junk food. These foods can drain you of energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Save important and difficult tasks for times when you feel energized.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel most focused and energized in the morning, work on your most important or difficult task then. And, if you’re a night owl, use your mornings to work on simple and unimportant tasks. Trying to complete important or difficult tasks when you feel fatigued will reduce your overall productivity.\\nEverybody works best at different times of the day, so experiment with your schedule to find out when you work most efficiently.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adopt a confident and relaxed posture to increase your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"The physical posture you assume can have a psychosomatic and neurological effect on you. Imitating a confident smile and posture, for example, can spur your brain to feel confident, which can lead to gains in productivity.\\nForcing yourself to smile, for example, can lead to the release of endorphins, which will help you feel less stressed about a project.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to say no at least once a week.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re the type of person who is always saying yes to your coworkers, friends, and family members, you may find yourself in the position of having trouble finishing important tasks because you’re always doing things for other people.\\nSaying no can be difficult, but committing yourself to turning down at least 1 request from a friend, coworker, or family member a week will free up additional time for you to finish an important project or progress toward one of your long-term goals.\\nWhen deciding whether to say no to a request, ask yourself the following questions: Can the requester finish the task on their own? Is there anyone else available to help? What are the consequences if the task isn’t completed?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Organizing Your Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write down your short-term and long-term goals so you can prioritize.\", \"描述\": \"Rank your goals and tasks for the next decade, year, month, week, and day. Having this list nearby will allow you to stay focused on the most important tasks before you.\\nWhen setting goals, start by imagining where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years, and then create an outline of the shorter-term goals you’ll need to accomplish to reach this goal.\\nBe as precise as possible when you’re setting your goals. If your goals are more concrete, it will be easier for you to think of the concrete steps you’ll have to take to reach them.\\nKeep these lists of goals somewhere visible while you work to keep yourself motivated.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a daily to-do-list to organize your day.\", \"描述\": \"The best time to write up a to-do-list is right before you go to sleep. Write down all the tasks you need to complete the following day in order from most important to least important.\\nBreak your day into hour-long time slots and assign a task to a specific time slot.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set time limits for all your tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Setting a firm time limit for a task will force you to finish it in a certain amount of time. If you set aside a relatively short amount of time, you will force yourself to complete your work without procrastinating.\\nSetting a time limit that is too short can cause you to rush and produce lower quality work, so try to find the sweet spot between a deadline that is too short and one that is too long.\\nSet a deadline by which you know you can finish the task, but only if your work is free of distractions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of short 5-minute periods to complete small tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Set aside 2- to 5-minute periods throughout the day. During these short windows of time, commit yourself to completing one small task. This can be composing a short email, checking a voicemail, etc. Completing a task within a 5-minute window will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to complete more tasks\\nTry to set aside 1 of these short periods once every hour or so.\\nTry to limit the amount of time you spend thinking about the task before doing it. Overthinking can lead to anxiety and procrastination.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Break large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.\", \"描述\": \"Large projects can be overwhelming. Worrying about completing them can cause intense anxiety, which can lead to procrastination. Treating large projects as a series of small tasks can ease some of this anxiety.\\nIf you are writing a 10-page paper, for instance, approach it one paragraph at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take a strategic break every hour to stay energized.\", \"描述\": \"Working nonstop without a break can leave you fatigued and steadily reduce your efficiency. Try to work hard and stay focused without distractions for 50 minutes and then take a 20-minute break.\\nWorking without taking enough breaks over a long period of time can lead to burnout, which may lead to a deterioration of your efficiency over the long term.\\nWhen you take your break, write down all of the things you did in the past hour so you can see how you're managing your time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Things Done Faster\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid multitasking so you can focus your attention on a single task.\", \"描述\": \"In the modern world with cellphones, email, and the internet, it can be difficult to avoid multitasking. Focusing on more than one task at a time, however, can prevent you from getting into a flow.\\nIf you’re doing work on your computer, try installing an app or program that limits your access to websites that are not required for your work.\\nWhen working on a project, silence your cellphone and keep it in another room, out of reach. Designate specific times to check for any messages and voicemails.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find shortcuts to complete tasks you do on a regular basis.\", \"描述\": \"If you regularly use certain computer programs to do work, for example, learn keyboard shortcuts for common actions. Or, if you frequently write emails to schedule meetings, make a template for that type of email so that you don’t have to write them from scratch every time.\\nAsk colleagues and friends about any shortcuts they may use to speed up their work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Delegate tasks to classmates, friends, or employees.\", \"描述\": \"If you are working on a school or work project, make sure the workload is divided evenly among everyone who has a stake in the project’s completion. Trying to do all the work yourself will stress you out and prolong the time it takes to finish the project.\\nWhen delegating, try to present your request as an appeal for help rather than an order to minimize friction.\\nIf you’re not the one in charge of the group or team and believe the workload hasn’t been distributed evenly, explain to the group leader or another member of the group that you could use some help completing the task(s) assigned to you.\\nIf you feel that the other members of the group or team aren’t doing their part, avoid pointing blame and instead try to get them involved in the project by asking for help on specific tasks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce the number of daily decisions you have to make.\", \"描述\": \"Making decisions takes energy. The more decisions you make, the more energy you expend. You can reduce the number of daily decisions you make and conserve your energy by eliminating or outsourcing decisions about simple daily tasks, such as what to wear or what to eat.\\nTo simplify your daily decision about what to wear, simplify your wardrobe. Reduce your choice to two or three different outfits.\\nMake a weekly breakfast, lunch, and dinner plan, so that you don’t have to agonize about what to make on a daily basis.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,693 | How to Be Elegant | 1. Appearance
1-1. Be clean.
Practice good hygiene. Take a shower when you need to and keep your hair clean. Brush your teeth and use deodorant, to keep yourself smelling fresh.
1-2. Be tidy.
Keep your hair brushed, your nails reasonably trimmed, and any excess body hair should also be carefully maintained to reasonable lengths.
1-3. Use subtle makeup.
Use only enough concealer, foundation and powder to even your skin tone and cut down on shine. Eye shadow and lip colors should be subtle and use neutral tones line browns and grays. Eyeliner and mascara should be minimal.
There are occasions, however, where bolder lip colors may be appropriate. If you are going out for a formal evening, for example, bright red lips may be warranted.
1-4. Choose sleek hairstyles.
When you think elegant women you usually think Audrey Hepburn, Veronica Lake, or Nicole Kidman. And what do they have in common? That sleek, beautiful hair, of course. Choose hairstyles which show off the satin quality of your hair and compliment your features and dress style. This will give you a more elegant look.
1-5. Get your nails done.
Good choices for nail polish are pale pink, clear, or a french manicure. But remember that any colour can look elegant, it all depends on how you carry it off. Don't rule out any colour - including black - unless you don't like it. Look at some photos of celebrities' nails at events. They wear all colours, including black, green, and orange, and many of them still look elegant.
1-6. Use good perfume.
You may not see when someone smells nice but it will form a certain picture in your mind. Leave a lasting impression by using a subtle perfume, applied correctly. Elegant top notes include scents like jasmine, rose, and amber.
Try not to wear too much perfume. It can be overpowering, and some people are allergic.
1-7. Stand tall.
Having good posture will go a long way towards being perceived as elegant. Work on your posture and make sure that you are standing nice and tall. This will also make you look thinner and curvier.
2. Wardrobe
2-1. Wear nice clothes.
Avoid clothes which look overly casual, dirty, stained, or ruined. Don't wear clothes that have holes or otherwise look distressed. Try to go out in nice - smart but simple- clothes when you run errands.
2-2. Wear classic cuts.
Avoid trendy clothes like bell-bottom jeans or over-sized shoulder pads. Instead, opt for classic cuts on most items of clothing. This will keep you looking timelessly elegant. Knee length skirts with even hem lines, tailored button-down shirts in men's style, and knee-length trench coats are among a large number of classic cut items.
2-3. Wear clothes that fit.
Make sure that the clothes you do have fit. They should not be too small (showing or creating bulges) or too large (hanging from your frame). Don't get married to a size, every time you try on new clothes, also try on a size up and a size down. Get items tailored, if you can, to ensure an even better fit.
2-4. Choose quality fabrics.
Lean away from cheap acrylic material or cheap cotton and opt for clothing made from more luxurious materials. This will show and make your clothing look more expensive, even if it isn't. Silk, satin, modal, cashmere, Chantilly or other quality lace, many sheer fabrics, and limited velvet are all acceptable options. Thick materials that add bulk should usually be avoided, as these will detract from your smooth lines.
2-5. Choose high contrast or classic colors.
When choosing colors, go for high contrast colors that are very light and dark compared to each other (red, white and black, for example). Classic neutral colors also work well (grey, beige, navy, plum, emerald green, champagne pink, etc.).
Other elegant color combinations include blue and gold, pink and white, and white and teal/seafoam.
2-6. Keep it simple.
Keep your outfits simple: not too many accessories, not too many layers. Avoid patterns and pattern mixing. Don't get overly showy, either. Jewelry should be simple and should go with what you are wearing and doing. Don't wear anything that is too dressy for what you're doing: go for nice, but not unreasonable.
For example, a cocktail dress is a bit much for going grocery shopping but a black or navy pencil skirt, a cream-colored sweater and brown jacket and boots are about right. Sweats would be the bad choice; too casual.
2-7. Accessorize strategically.
Choose accessories which compliment your outfit without going over the top. Accessories should also compliment your features and physique. For example, avoid wide or large earrings if you have a big face, or wear vertically striped stockings to make your legs look longer and thinner.
2-8. Keep it classy.
Don't wear clothes that reveal too much skin, are too tight, or use materials which look low-class (leopard print, fuzzy materials, lamé, etc). Dressing this way can make you look cheap or like an escort. It will also make you look like you're trying too hard. Dress classy by following the advice above and avoiding these pitfalls, and you'll look elegant all the time.
Before you head out, always double-check that your undergarments are concealed.
3. Behavior
3-1. Speak exceptionally well.
Use proper grammar, a broad vocabulary, avoid contractions and colloquialisms, and enunciate when you speak. This will make you come across as classy and elegant, a real lady. If you aren't in the habit of speaking well like this, practice while you are alone, possibly in front of a mirror.
Do not feel like you have to take on a different accent in order to sound more elegant. The accent is rarely as much of a problem as vocabulary and grammar.
3-2. Stay calm at all times.
Do not get overly emotional, either very sad (dramatic crying) or angry (yelling at people and making a scene). This will undo every bit of elegance in an instant. Instead, be calm and relaxed.
Remember: if you're not going to die (and neither is anyone else) it's probably not that big a deal. Breathe and take things one step at a time.
If you find yourself unable to stay calm, excuse yourself and go somewhere private until you calm down.
3-3. Act like you don't care.
Like not getting too emotional, you should also give off an air of not caring. This will make you seem more classy and elegant. Getting overly excited or enthusiastic can easily make you seem child-like and immature.
3-4. Be polite to everyone you meet, whether you think they deserve it or not.
Don't be passive-aggressive or sarcastic when things go wrong. Just get through all situations with perfect politeness. Treat everyone as if your grandmother were watching you and there was a nice piece of candy in it for you.
Try to smile and make eye contact throughout the conversation.
3-5. Be as graceful as you can be.
Walk like a supermodel no matter where you are or how you're dressed. Take care not to fall or trip when walking in high heels. Don't try to dance above your skill level. If you want to improve your grace, then practice walking in heels, up and down stairs, etc. You can also practice your hand and leg movements in a full length mirror.
3-6. Be confident and act confident.
Of course you don't have to actually be confident (for a lot of people, it's mostly an act) but act as confident as you can. Tell yourself you're beautiful, intelligent, and that you know what you're doing...because you are and you do! Project confidence out to others by not constantly apologizing, for pursuing the things that you want, even if they aren't popular,
3-7. Have excellent manners.
Real ladies have perfect manners. Practice good manners as you go about your day and especially when you eat. Don't ever burp or fart in public. Hold doors open for others and wait your turn for services. Drive courteously. And of course, eat without making a mess or being gross.
3-8. Be intelligent.
Don't act dumb just for the sake of it. Sometimes people act dumb to stand out. While you may stand out that way, it won't be in a way you want! Be careful also not to act like you know everything about every subject. Talk about subjects you truly know about or say you don't know much about the topic. Your honesty will be appreciated.
Tips
Read books and the broadsheet newspapers to improve on language, grammar and vocabulary.
Learn about different cultures.
Travel extensively, if you can afford it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Appearance\\n1-1. Be clean.\\nPractice good hygiene. Take a shower when you need to and keep your hair clean. Brush your teeth and use deodorant, to keep yourself smelling fresh.\\n1-2. Be tidy.\\nKeep your hair brushed, your nails reasonably trimmed, and any excess body hair should also be carefully maintained to reasonable lengths.\\n1-3. Use subtle makeup.\\nUse only enough concealer, foundation and powder to even your skin tone and cut down on shine. Eye shadow and lip colors should be subtle and use neutral tones line browns and grays. Eyeliner and mascara should be minimal.\\nThere are occasions, however, where bolder lip colors may be appropriate. If you are going out for a formal evening, for example, bright red lips may be warranted.\\n1-4. Choose sleek hairstyles.\\nWhen you think elegant women you usually think Audrey Hepburn, Veronica Lake, or Nicole Kidman. And what do they have in common? That sleek, beautiful hair, of course. Choose hairstyles which show off the satin quality of your hair and compliment your features and dress style. This will give you a more elegant look.\\n1-5. Get your nails done.\\nGood choices for nail polish are pale pink, clear, or a french manicure. But remember that any colour can look elegant, it all depends on how you carry it off. Don't rule out any colour - including black - unless you don't like it. Look at some photos of celebrities' nails at events. They wear all colours, including black, green, and orange, and many of them still look elegant.\\n1-6. Use good perfume.\\nYou may not see when someone smells nice but it will form a certain picture in your mind. Leave a lasting impression by using a subtle perfume, applied correctly. Elegant top notes include scents like jasmine, rose, and amber.\\nTry not to wear too much perfume. It can be overpowering, and some people are allergic.\\n1-7. Stand tall.\\nHaving good posture will go a long way towards being perceived as elegant. Work on your posture and make sure that you are standing nice and tall. This will also make you look thinner and curvier.\\n2. Wardrobe\\n2-1. Wear nice clothes.\\nAvoid clothes which look overly casual, dirty, stained, or ruined. Don't wear clothes that have holes or otherwise look distressed. Try to go out in nice - smart but simple- clothes when you run errands.\\n2-2. Wear classic cuts.\\nAvoid trendy clothes like bell-bottom jeans or over-sized shoulder pads. Instead, opt for classic cuts on most items of clothing. This will keep you looking timelessly elegant. Knee length skirts with even hem lines, tailored button-down shirts in men's style, and knee-length trench coats are among a large number of classic cut items.\\n2-3. Wear clothes that fit.\\nMake sure that the clothes you do have fit. They should not be too small (showing or creating bulges) or too large (hanging from your frame). Don't get married to a size, every time you try on new clothes, also try on a size up and a size down. Get items tailored, if you can, to ensure an even better fit.\\n2-4. Choose quality fabrics.\\nLean away from cheap acrylic material or cheap cotton and opt for clothing made from more luxurious materials. This will show and make your clothing look more expensive, even if it isn't. Silk, satin, modal, cashmere, Chantilly or other quality lace, many sheer fabrics, and limited velvet are all acceptable options. Thick materials that add bulk should usually be avoided, as these will detract from your smooth lines.\\n2-5. Choose high contrast or classic colors.\\nWhen choosing colors, go for high contrast colors that are very light and dark compared to each other (red, white and black, for example). Classic neutral colors also work well (grey, beige, navy, plum, emerald green, champagne pink, etc.).\\nOther elegant color combinations include blue and gold, pink and white, and white and teal/seafoam.\\n2-6. Keep it simple.\\nKeep your outfits simple: not too many accessories, not too many layers. Avoid patterns and pattern mixing. Don't get overly showy, either. Jewelry should be simple and should go with what you are wearing and doing. Don't wear anything that is too dressy for what you're doing: go for nice, but not unreasonable.\\nFor example, a cocktail dress is a bit much for going grocery shopping but a black or navy pencil skirt, a cream-colored sweater and brown jacket and boots are about right. Sweats would be the bad choice; too casual.\\n2-7. Accessorize strategically.\\nChoose accessories which compliment your outfit without going over the top. Accessories should also compliment your features and physique. For example, avoid wide or large earrings if you have a big face, or wear vertically striped stockings to make your legs look longer and thinner.\\n2-8. Keep it classy.\\nDon't wear clothes that reveal too much skin, are too tight, or use materials which look low-class (leopard print, fuzzy materials, lamé, etc). Dressing this way can make you look cheap or like an escort. It will also make you look like you're trying too hard. Dress classy by following the advice above and avoiding these pitfalls, and you'll look elegant all the time. \\nBefore you head out, always double-check that your undergarments are concealed.\\n3. Behavior\\n3-1. Speak exceptionally well.\\nUse proper grammar, a broad vocabulary, avoid contractions and colloquialisms, and enunciate when you speak. This will make you come across as classy and elegant, a real lady. If you aren't in the habit of speaking well like this, practice while you are alone, possibly in front of a mirror.\\nDo not feel like you have to take on a different accent in order to sound more elegant. The accent is rarely as much of a problem as vocabulary and grammar.\\n3-2. Stay calm at all times.\\nDo not get overly emotional, either very sad (dramatic crying) or angry (yelling at people and making a scene). This will undo every bit of elegance in an instant. Instead, be calm and relaxed.\\nRemember: if you're not going to die (and neither is anyone else) it's probably not that big a deal. Breathe and take things one step at a time.\\nIf you find yourself unable to stay calm, excuse yourself and go somewhere private until you calm down.\\n3-3. Act like you don't care.\\nLike not getting too emotional, you should also give off an air of not caring. This will make you seem more classy and elegant. Getting overly excited or enthusiastic can easily make you seem child-like and immature.\\n3-4. Be polite to everyone you meet, whether you think they deserve it or not.\\nDon't be passive-aggressive or sarcastic when things go wrong. Just get through all situations with perfect politeness. Treat everyone as if your grandmother were watching you and there was a nice piece of candy in it for you.\\nTry to smile and make eye contact throughout the conversation.\\n3-5. Be as graceful as you can be.\\nWalk like a supermodel no matter where you are or how you're dressed. Take care not to fall or trip when walking in high heels. Don't try to dance above your skill level. If you want to improve your grace, then practice walking in heels, up and down stairs, etc. You can also practice your hand and leg movements in a full length mirror.\\n3-6. Be confident and act confident.\\nOf course you don't have to actually be confident (for a lot of people, it's mostly an act) but act as confident as you can. Tell yourself you're beautiful, intelligent, and that you know what you're doing...because you are and you do! Project confidence out to others by not constantly apologizing, for pursuing the things that you want, even if they aren't popular,\\n3-7. Have excellent manners.\\nReal ladies have perfect manners. Practice good manners as you go about your day and especially when you eat. Don't ever burp or fart in public. Hold doors open for others and wait your turn for services. Drive courteously. And of course, eat without making a mess or being gross.\\n3-8. Be intelligent.\\nDon't act dumb just for the sake of it. Sometimes people act dumb to stand out. While you may stand out that way, it won't be in a way you want! Be careful also not to act like you know everything about every subject. Talk about subjects you truly know about or say you don't know much about the topic. Your honesty will be appreciated.\\nTips\\nRead books and the broadsheet newspapers to improve on language, grammar and vocabulary.\\nLearn about different cultures.\\nTravel extensively, if you can afford it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"How to impress people? Being elegant is the answer; it makes you look feminine, attractive, and mature! This article will show you how to be just that.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appearance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be clean.\", \"描述\": \"Practice good hygiene. Take a shower when you need to and keep your hair clean. Brush your teeth and use deodorant, to keep yourself smelling fresh.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be tidy.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your hair brushed, your nails reasonably trimmed, and any excess body hair should also be carefully maintained to reasonable lengths.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use subtle makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Use only enough concealer, foundation and powder to even your skin tone and cut down on shine. Eye shadow and lip colors should be subtle and use neutral tones line browns and grays. Eyeliner and mascara should be minimal.\\nThere are occasions, however, where bolder lip colors may be appropriate. If you are going out for a formal evening, for example, bright red lips may be warranted.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose sleek hairstyles.\", \"描述\": \"When you think elegant women you usually think Audrey Hepburn, Veronica Lake, or Nicole Kidman. And what do they have in common? That sleek, beautiful hair, of course. Choose hairstyles which show off the satin quality of your hair and compliment your features and dress style. This will give you a more elegant look.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get your nails done.\", \"描述\": \"Good choices for nail polish are pale pink, clear, or a french manicure. But remember that any colour can look elegant, it all depends on how you carry it off. Don't rule out any colour - including black - unless you don't like it. Look at some photos of celebrities' nails at events. They wear all colours, including black, green, and orange, and many of them still look elegant.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use good perfume.\", \"描述\": \"You may not see when someone smells nice but it will form a certain picture in your mind. Leave a lasting impression by using a subtle perfume, applied correctly. Elegant top notes include scents like jasmine, rose, and amber.\\nTry not to wear too much perfume. It can be overpowering, and some people are allergic.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stand tall.\", \"描述\": \"Having good posture will go a long way towards being perceived as elegant. Work on your posture and make sure that you are standing nice and tall. This will also make you look thinner and curvier.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wardrobe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear nice clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid clothes which look overly casual, dirty, stained, or ruined. Don't wear clothes that have holes or otherwise look distressed. Try to go out in nice - smart but simple- clothes when you run errands.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear classic cuts.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid trendy clothes like bell-bottom jeans or over-sized shoulder pads. Instead, opt for classic cuts on most items of clothing. This will keep you looking timelessly elegant. Knee length skirts with even hem lines, tailored button-down shirts in men's style, and knee-length trench coats are among a large number of classic cut items.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that fit.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that the clothes you do have fit. They should not be too small (showing or creating bulges) or too large (hanging from your frame). Don't get married to a size, every time you try on new clothes, also try on a size up and a size down. Get items tailored, if you can, to ensure an even better fit.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose quality fabrics.\", \"描述\": \"Lean away from cheap acrylic material or cheap cotton and opt for clothing made from more luxurious materials. This will show and make your clothing look more expensive, even if it isn't. Silk, satin, modal, cashmere, Chantilly or other quality lace, many sheer fabrics, and limited velvet are all acceptable options. Thick materials that add bulk should usually be avoided, as these will detract from your smooth lines.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose high contrast or classic colors.\", \"描述\": \"When choosing colors, go for high contrast colors that are very light and dark compared to each other (red, white and black, for example). Classic neutral colors also work well (grey, beige, navy, plum, emerald green, champagne pink, etc.).\\nOther elegant color combinations include blue and gold, pink and white, and white and teal/seafoam.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your outfits simple: not too many accessories, not too many layers. Avoid patterns and pattern mixing. Don't get overly showy, either. Jewelry should be simple and should go with what you are wearing and doing. Don't wear anything that is too dressy for what you're doing: go for nice, but not unreasonable.\\nFor example, a cocktail dress is a bit much for going grocery shopping but a black or navy pencil skirt, a cream-colored sweater and brown jacket and boots are about right. Sweats would be the bad choice; too casual.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accessorize strategically.\", \"描述\": \"Choose accessories which compliment your outfit without going over the top. Accessories should also compliment your features and physique. For example, avoid wide or large earrings if you have a big face, or wear vertically striped stockings to make your legs look longer and thinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep it classy.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wear clothes that reveal too much skin, are too tight, or use materials which look low-class (leopard print, fuzzy materials, lamé, etc). Dressing this way can make you look cheap or like an escort. It will also make you look like you're trying too hard. Dress classy by following the advice above and avoiding these pitfalls, and you'll look elegant all the time. \\nBefore you head out, always double-check that your undergarments are concealed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak exceptionally well.\", \"描述\": \"Use proper grammar, a broad vocabulary, avoid contractions and colloquialisms, and enunciate when you speak. This will make you come across as classy and elegant, a real lady. If you aren't in the habit of speaking well like this, practice while you are alone, possibly in front of a mirror.\\nDo not feel like you have to take on a different accent in order to sound more elegant. The accent is rarely as much of a problem as vocabulary and grammar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Do not get overly emotional, either very sad (dramatic crying) or angry (yelling at people and making a scene). This will undo every bit of elegance in an instant. Instead, be calm and relaxed.\\nRemember: if you're not going to die (and neither is anyone else) it's probably not that big a deal. Breathe and take things one step at a time.\\nIf you find yourself unable to stay calm, excuse yourself and go somewhere private until you calm down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Act like you don't care.\", \"描述\": \"Like not getting too emotional, you should also give off an air of not caring. This will make you seem more classy and elegant. Getting overly excited or enthusiastic can easily make you seem child-like and immature.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite to everyone you meet, whether you think they deserve it or not.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be passive-aggressive or sarcastic when things go wrong. Just get through all situations with perfect politeness. Treat everyone as if your grandmother were watching you and there was a nice piece of candy in it for you.\\nTry to smile and make eye contact throughout the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be as graceful as you can be.\", \"描述\": \"Walk like a supermodel no matter where you are or how you're dressed. Take care not to fall or trip when walking in high heels. Don't try to dance above your skill level. If you want to improve your grace, then practice walking in heels, up and down stairs, etc. You can also practice your hand and leg movements in a full length mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be confident and act confident.\", \"描述\": \"Of course you don't have to actually be confident (for a lot of people, it's mostly an act) but act as confident as you can. Tell yourself you're beautiful, intelligent, and that you know what you're doing...because you are and you do! Project confidence out to others by not constantly apologizing, for pursuing the things that you want, even if they aren't popular,\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have excellent manners.\", \"描述\": \"Real ladies have perfect manners. Practice good manners as you go about your day and especially when you eat. Don't ever burp or fart in public. Hold doors open for others and wait your turn for services. Drive courteously. And of course, eat without making a mess or being gross.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be intelligent.\", \"描述\": \"Don't act dumb just for the sake of it. Sometimes people act dumb to stand out. While you may stand out that way, it won't be in a way you want! Be careful also not to act like you know everything about every subject. Talk about subjects you truly know about or say you don't know much about the topic. Your honesty will be appreciated.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Read books and the broadsheet newspapers to improve on language, grammar and vocabulary.\\n\", \"Learn about different cultures.\\n\", \"Travel extensively, if you can afford it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,694 | How to Be Eligible to Get Into the NFL | 1. Qualifying for College Football
1-1. Join your high school football team.
Playing on your high school football team will increase your experience and your exposure. College football coaches (and NFL recruiters) are more likely to take note if you do well in high school football. Recruiting can start as early as freshman or sophomore year, so try out as early as possible.
If your high school does not have a football team, transfer to one that does or join a club team. High school teams are highly preferable.
Getting your high school diploma is a requirement for playing on the NFL, so study hard and plan to graduate.
1-2. Gain exposure at a university football camp.
Sports camps are a great way to connect with and get noticed by university coaches. A coach may be more likely to remember your name if you spend time training with them at sports camps. Spend time with the players and get your name out there: think of your football camp experience as early networking. This is your chance to make a first impression.
1-3. Make a list of ideal colleges with your coach.
Tell your football coach you want to apply for college football so they can support you however possible. When making your list, separate it into three sections: list your dream schools, schools you could realistically plan for, and schools to fall back on.
Ask your coach to be honest with you about your skill set so you can make a helpful list.
Once you have a list of schools, research them. Check out the school's athletic website and read up on current and former players, as well as their recruiting process.
1-4. Create a highlight video.
Recruiting videos are important for catching the attention of college coaches. Compile a play-by-play video of your best in-game moments. Make sure each play highlights your athletic ability.
Quality matters. Record your highlight video on a good camera, and consider hiring a professional videographer.
If you're on a budget and must tape it yourself, use a tripod to avoid camera shake.
1-5. Register with the NCAA by your junior year.
If you want to play college football at a Division I or II school, you need to register with the NCAA Eligibility Center to validate your status as an amateur athlete. Ask your football coach to assist you in registering so you remember to pay any fees and submit required documents.
Because qualified players will need to complete academic work at an American college or university, the NCAA application is currently only available in English.
1-6. Contact potential college coaches by your junior year.
Junior year is the time to make yourself and your abilities known by the college coaches. Write an email or letter to university coaches you're interested in playing for. Send a copy (or a link) of your highlights video along with a resume with details like your stats, academic data, honors, and your coach's contact information.
You can also call the university coaches so you can personally get to know them. Avoid having your parents call potential universities, as this is considered unprofessional.
1-7. Choose an offer during your senior year.
By your senior year, university coaches should contact you about potential offers. Decide which offer is in your best interests. What scholarships are these colleges offering? Are the potential schools a Division I or II school?
Division I schools have the largest athletic budgets and travel nationally to play. Division II schools have less budget money and usually travel regionally.
Anyone is allowed to enter the NFL draft, as long as they have graduated high school. If you don't play in college, continue training hard and consider becoming a walk-on.
2. Training in College
2-1. Become a walk-on if you are not chosen for a team.
College walk-ons are players who either didn't receive an offer in high school or wants to attend a college that does not offer scholarships (like Ivy League universities). Stick your foot in the door with college coaches and ask them how to qualify for a walk-on position. If you have athletic skill, the coach may give you a shot.
Most college walk-ons do not receive an athletic scholarship.
Qualified walk-ons need to build good character, strong academics, and a thick skin.
2-2. Create a training schedule, and practice every day.
If you make it on your college team, you will have assigned practices almost every day. But if you're training for the draft on your own, you'll need to develop diligence on your own. Plan a fitness schedule that keeps your body in shape and pushes you to your physical limits.
Rest days are just as necessary as training days. Work in one day of light activity (like walking or yoga) per week to avoid overexertion.
2-3. Work on movement mechanics.
When training, work on your running, jumping, and direction-changing skills. During the NFL draft, you will need to compete in a 40-yard dash. Practice your agility through aerobic exercises, like sprinting, kickboxing, and using cardio machines.
2-4. Practice strength training.
Strength training will give you the endurance and power you need to stand out in the NFL draft. Strengthen your core through bench press exercises, squats, and deadlifts. Maintain a good balance of aerobic and anaerobic exercises to give your body optimum balance.
2-5. Know and improve on your weaknesses.
Understand your body's deficiencies and focus on them when you're working out. Ask your coach or mentor about where you could improve your skill. Tell them to be honest with you so you have every opportunity to improve before the draft.
For example, if your upper-body strength overpowers your leg strength, focus on lower-body exercises to balance yourself.
3. Entering the Draft
3-1. Play college football for several years before applying for the draft.
The NFL states that prospective draftees must have graduated high school at least three years before performing in the draft. Use your college football time to build an athletic resume and catch the eyes of NFL coaches.
If you do not play college football, register for the draft around your senior year of college.
After you graduate college, your draft eligibility is only good for the year after you graduated (or if four football seasons have passed since you graduated high school).
3-2. Declare for the NFL Regional Combine.
Once you are three years past your high school days, register for the draft. You will begin by registering for the Regional Starting Combines, where you will try out among college football players and other individual trainees. Although anyone can apply, the NFL requests that only those with a high level of ability register.
If you catch a scout's eye during the athletic drills and measurements, you may be invited to try out at the National Combine.
3-3. Attend the NFL National Combine.
Unlike regionals, only about 335 players are invited to try out at nationals every year. This is a chance for you to measure yourself against the best of the best in drills like the 40-yard dash, bench press, and vertical leap. From here, about 250 athletes will make it to the NFL draft.
After your physical evaluation, you will also undergo medical examinations to gage your physical, mental, and emotional health.
3-4. Enter the NFL draft.
During the draft, football scouts will measure you against other players in extensive medical and physical evaluations. The draft consists of seven rounds, with professional football teams picking their new players. During the draft, you can also network with personnel and negotiate for a spot on a team's training roster.
3-5. Apply for the supplemental draft in July, if you do not earn a spot.
The supplemental draft is for those whose eligibility has changed since the draft. Teams can make bids on players, and the team with the highest bid is awarded the player. Professional teams do not have to attend the supplemental drafts, but you never know which coaches and scouts might attend.
If you still don't qualify for the NFL, all is not lost. The NFL Transition Assistance Program provides college players with support while they transition to a life beyond football.
Tips
The odds of playing for the NFL are slim: only 6% of high school players qualify for college football, and even less become professional football players. Do your best when training, but don't beat yourself up if you don't make the draft.[13]
X
Research source
Drink plenty of fluids and stretch before training to avoid injuries. One major accident could ruin your chances to play in the NFL.
Let high school or college counselor know you want to play for the NFL. They can offer support and help you make long-term plans.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Qualifying for College Football\\n1-1. Join your high school football team.\\nPlaying on your high school football team will increase your experience and your exposure. College football coaches (and NFL recruiters) are more likely to take note if you do well in high school football. Recruiting can start as early as freshman or sophomore year, so try out as early as possible.\\nIf your high school does not have a football team, transfer to one that does or join a club team. High school teams are highly preferable.\\nGetting your high school diploma is a requirement for playing on the NFL, so study hard and plan to graduate.\\n1-2. Gain exposure at a university football camp.\\nSports camps are a great way to connect with and get noticed by university coaches. A coach may be more likely to remember your name if you spend time training with them at sports camps. Spend time with the players and get your name out there: think of your football camp experience as early networking. This is your chance to make a first impression.\\n1-3. Make a list of ideal colleges with your coach.\\nTell your football coach you want to apply for college football so they can support you however possible. When making your list, separate it into three sections: list your dream schools, schools you could realistically plan for, and schools to fall back on.\\nAsk your coach to be honest with you about your skill set so you can make a helpful list.\\nOnce you have a list of schools, research them. Check out the school's athletic website and read up on current and former players, as well as their recruiting process.\\n1-4. Create a highlight video.\\nRecruiting videos are important for catching the attention of college coaches. Compile a play-by-play video of your best in-game moments. Make sure each play highlights your athletic ability.\\nQuality matters. Record your highlight video on a good camera, and consider hiring a professional videographer.\\nIf you're on a budget and must tape it yourself, use a tripod to avoid camera shake.\\n1-5. Register with the NCAA by your junior year.\\nIf you want to play college football at a Division I or II school, you need to register with the NCAA Eligibility Center to validate your status as an amateur athlete. Ask your football coach to assist you in registering so you remember to pay any fees and submit required documents.\\nBecause qualified players will need to complete academic work at an American college or university, the NCAA application is currently only available in English.\\n1-6. Contact potential college coaches by your junior year.\\nJunior year is the time to make yourself and your abilities known by the college coaches. Write an email or letter to university coaches you're interested in playing for. Send a copy (or a link) of your highlights video along with a resume with details like your stats, academic data, honors, and your coach's contact information.\\nYou can also call the university coaches so you can personally get to know them. Avoid having your parents call potential universities, as this is considered unprofessional.\\n1-7. Choose an offer during your senior year.\\nBy your senior year, university coaches should contact you about potential offers. Decide which offer is in your best interests. What scholarships are these colleges offering? Are the potential schools a Division I or II school?\\nDivision I schools have the largest athletic budgets and travel nationally to play. Division II schools have less budget money and usually travel regionally.\\nAnyone is allowed to enter the NFL draft, as long as they have graduated high school. If you don't play in college, continue training hard and consider becoming a walk-on.\\n2. Training in College\\n2-1. Become a walk-on if you are not chosen for a team.\\nCollege walk-ons are players who either didn't receive an offer in high school or wants to attend a college that does not offer scholarships (like Ivy League universities). Stick your foot in the door with college coaches and ask them how to qualify for a walk-on position. If you have athletic skill, the coach may give you a shot.\\nMost college walk-ons do not receive an athletic scholarship.\\nQualified walk-ons need to build good character, strong academics, and a thick skin.\\n2-2. Create a training schedule, and practice every day.\\nIf you make it on your college team, you will have assigned practices almost every day. But if you're training for the draft on your own, you'll need to develop diligence on your own. Plan a fitness schedule that keeps your body in shape and pushes you to your physical limits.\\nRest days are just as necessary as training days. Work in one day of light activity (like walking or yoga) per week to avoid overexertion.\\n2-3. Work on movement mechanics.\\nWhen training, work on your running, jumping, and direction-changing skills. During the NFL draft, you will need to compete in a 40-yard dash. Practice your agility through aerobic exercises, like sprinting, kickboxing, and using cardio machines.\\n2-4. Practice strength training.\\nStrength training will give you the endurance and power you need to stand out in the NFL draft. Strengthen your core through bench press exercises, squats, and deadlifts. Maintain a good balance of aerobic and anaerobic exercises to give your body optimum balance.\\n2-5. Know and improve on your weaknesses.\\nUnderstand your body's deficiencies and focus on them when you're working out. Ask your coach or mentor about where you could improve your skill. Tell them to be honest with you so you have every opportunity to improve before the draft.\\nFor example, if your upper-body strength overpowers your leg strength, focus on lower-body exercises to balance yourself.\\n3. Entering the Draft\\n3-1. Play college football for several years before applying for the draft.\\nThe NFL states that prospective draftees must have graduated high school at least three years before performing in the draft. Use your college football time to build an athletic resume and catch the eyes of NFL coaches.\\nIf you do not play college football, register for the draft around your senior year of college.\\nAfter you graduate college, your draft eligibility is only good for the year after you graduated (or if four football seasons have passed since you graduated high school).\\n3-2. Declare for the NFL Regional Combine.\\nOnce you are three years past your high school days, register for the draft. You will begin by registering for the Regional Starting Combines, where you will try out among college football players and other individual trainees. Although anyone can apply, the NFL requests that only those with a high level of ability register.\\nIf you catch a scout's eye during the athletic drills and measurements, you may be invited to try out at the National Combine.\\n3-3. Attend the NFL National Combine.\\nUnlike regionals, only about 335 players are invited to try out at nationals every year. This is a chance for you to measure yourself against the best of the best in drills like the 40-yard dash, bench press, and vertical leap. From here, about 250 athletes will make it to the NFL draft.\\nAfter your physical evaluation, you will also undergo medical examinations to gage your physical, mental, and emotional health.\\n3-4. Enter the NFL draft.\\nDuring the draft, football scouts will measure you against other players in extensive medical and physical evaluations. The draft consists of seven rounds, with professional football teams picking their new players. During the draft, you can also network with personnel and negotiate for a spot on a team's training roster.\\n3-5. Apply for the supplemental draft in July, if you do not earn a spot.\\nThe supplemental draft is for those whose eligibility has changed since the draft. Teams can make bids on players, and the team with the highest bid is awarded the player. Professional teams do not have to attend the supplemental drafts, but you never know which coaches and scouts might attend.\\nIf you still don't qualify for the NFL, all is not lost. The NFL Transition Assistance Program provides college players with support while they transition to a life beyond football.\\nTips\\nThe odds of playing for the NFL are slim: only 6% of high school players qualify for college football, and even less become professional football players. Do your best when training, but don't beat yourself up if you don't make the draft.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDrink plenty of fluids and stretch before training to avoid injuries. One major accident could ruin your chances to play in the NFL.\\nLet high school or college counselor know you want to play for the NFL. They can offer support and help you make long-term plans.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If playing for the NFL is your dream, your best bet is to work hard and market yourself as a strong player. Start training in or before high school so you can gain both experience and exposure. Once you get to college, your next step is to train for the NFL draft. Knowing what to do and how to qualify will increase your chances of becoming a professional football player.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Qualifying for College Football\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join your high school football team.\", \"描述\": \"Playing on your high school football team will increase your experience and your exposure. College football coaches (and NFL recruiters) are more likely to take note if you do well in high school football. Recruiting can start as early as freshman or sophomore year, so try out as early as possible.\\nIf your high school does not have a football team, transfer to one that does or join a club team. High school teams are highly preferable.\\nGetting your high school diploma is a requirement for playing on the NFL, so study hard and plan to graduate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gain exposure at a university football camp.\", \"描述\": \"Sports camps are a great way to connect with and get noticed by university coaches. A coach may be more likely to remember your name if you spend time training with them at sports camps. Spend time with the players and get your name out there: think of your football camp experience as early networking. This is your chance to make a first impression.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of ideal colleges with your coach.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your football coach you want to apply for college football so they can support you however possible. When making your list, separate it into three sections: list your dream schools, schools you could realistically plan for, and schools to fall back on.\\nAsk your coach to be honest with you about your skill set so you can make a helpful list.\\nOnce you have a list of schools, research them. Check out the school's athletic website and read up on current and former players, as well as their recruiting process.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a highlight video.\", \"描述\": \"Recruiting videos are important for catching the attention of college coaches. Compile a play-by-play video of your best in-game moments. Make sure each play highlights your athletic ability.\\nQuality matters. Record your highlight video on a good camera, and consider hiring a professional videographer.\\nIf you're on a budget and must tape it yourself, use a tripod to avoid camera shake.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Register with the NCAA by your junior year.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to play college football at a Division I or II school, you need to register with the NCAA Eligibility Center to validate your status as an amateur athlete. Ask your football coach to assist you in registering so you remember to pay any fees and submit required documents.\\nBecause qualified players will need to complete academic work at an American college or university, the NCAA application is currently only available in English.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Contact potential college coaches by your junior year.\", \"描述\": \"Junior year is the time to make yourself and your abilities known by the college coaches. Write an email or letter to university coaches you're interested in playing for. Send a copy (or a link) of your highlights video along with a resume with details like your stats, academic data, honors, and your coach's contact information.\\nYou can also call the university coaches so you can personally get to know them. Avoid having your parents call potential universities, as this is considered unprofessional.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose an offer during your senior year.\", \"描述\": \"By your senior year, university coaches should contact you about potential offers. Decide which offer is in your best interests. What scholarships are these colleges offering? Are the potential schools a Division I or II school?\\nDivision I schools have the largest athletic budgets and travel nationally to play. Division II schools have less budget money and usually travel regionally.\\nAnyone is allowed to enter the NFL draft, as long as they have graduated high school. If you don't play in college, continue training hard and consider becoming a walk-on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Training in College\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become a walk-on if you are not chosen for a team.\", \"描述\": \"College walk-ons are players who either didn't receive an offer in high school or wants to attend a college that does not offer scholarships (like Ivy League universities). Stick your foot in the door with college coaches and ask them how to qualify for a walk-on position. If you have athletic skill, the coach may give you a shot.\\nMost college walk-ons do not receive an athletic scholarship.\\nQualified walk-ons need to build good character, strong academics, and a thick skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a training schedule, and practice every day.\", \"描述\": \"If you make it on your college team, you will have assigned practices almost every day. But if you're training for the draft on your own, you'll need to develop diligence on your own. Plan a fitness schedule that keeps your body in shape and pushes you to your physical limits.\\nRest days are just as necessary as training days. Work in one day of light activity (like walking or yoga) per week to avoid overexertion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on movement mechanics.\", \"描述\": \"When training, work on your running, jumping, and direction-changing skills. During the NFL draft, you will need to compete in a 40-yard dash. Practice your agility through aerobic exercises, like sprinting, kickboxing, and using cardio machines.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice strength training.\", \"描述\": \"Strength training will give you the endurance and power you need to stand out in the NFL draft. Strengthen your core through bench press exercises, squats, and deadlifts. Maintain a good balance of aerobic and anaerobic exercises to give your body optimum balance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know and improve on your weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"Understand your body's deficiencies and focus on them when you're working out. Ask your coach or mentor about where you could improve your skill. Tell them to be honest with you so you have every opportunity to improve before the draft.\\nFor example, if your upper-body strength overpowers your leg strength, focus on lower-body exercises to balance yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Entering the Draft\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play college football for several years before applying for the draft.\", \"描述\": \"The NFL states that prospective draftees must have graduated high school at least three years before performing in the draft. Use your college football time to build an athletic resume and catch the eyes of NFL coaches.\\nIf you do not play college football, register for the draft around your senior year of college.\\nAfter you graduate college, your draft eligibility is only good for the year after you graduated (or if four football seasons have passed since you graduated high school).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Declare for the NFL Regional Combine.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are three years past your high school days, register for the draft. You will begin by registering for the Regional Starting Combines, where you will try out among college football players and other individual trainees. Although anyone can apply, the NFL requests that only those with a high level of ability register.\\nIf you catch a scout's eye during the athletic drills and measurements, you may be invited to try out at the National Combine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend the NFL National Combine.\", \"描述\": \"Unlike regionals, only about 335 players are invited to try out at nationals every year. This is a chance for you to measure yourself against the best of the best in drills like the 40-yard dash, bench press, and vertical leap. From here, about 250 athletes will make it to the NFL draft.\\nAfter your physical evaluation, you will also undergo medical examinations to gage your physical, mental, and emotional health.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter the NFL draft.\", \"描述\": \"During the draft, football scouts will measure you against other players in extensive medical and physical evaluations. The draft consists of seven rounds, with professional football teams picking their new players. During the draft, you can also network with personnel and negotiate for a spot on a team's training roster.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apply for the supplemental draft in July, if you do not earn a spot.\", \"描述\": \"The supplemental draft is for those whose eligibility has changed since the draft. Teams can make bids on players, and the team with the highest bid is awarded the player. Professional teams do not have to attend the supplemental drafts, but you never know which coaches and scouts might attend.\\nIf you still don't qualify for the NFL, all is not lost. The NFL Transition Assistance Program provides college players with support while they transition to a life beyond football.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The odds of playing for the NFL are slim: only 6% of high school players qualify for college football, and even less become professional football players. Do your best when training, but don't beat yourself up if you don't make the draft.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Drink plenty of fluids and stretch before training to avoid injuries. One major accident could ruin your chances to play in the NFL.\\n\", \"Let high school or college counselor know you want to play for the NFL. They can offer support and help you make long-term plans.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,695 | How to Be Elusive | 1. Communicating Elusively
1-1. Try the "less is more" approach.
Though it might go against your instincts, your elusiveness rating might get a boost if you are intentionally indirect, incomplete, or vague in your conversations. You don't have to be withhold all the details from friends, classmates, and co-workers, but in a group setting people often imagine that other members are like themselves. Use this to your advantage by allowing your conversation partner's imagination to fill in the details they already expect. Some example questions and responses:
Q: What did you do last night?
A: Oh, the usual. You know me, I've always got something going on.
Q: What are your plans for this weekend?
A: Well, I was thinking about meeting up with some people downtown.
1-2. Learn the value of a raincheck.
The key to this strategy is to accept the invitation, but not the occasion. Tell your friend or acquaintance that you'll gladly take them up on the offer some other time, but that you already have plans for the date mentioned. Be careful not to deny offers too frequently, or you might end up appearing cold or distant.
It can help if you have some emergency chores or errands in reserve. This can also be a kinder way of postponing plans with somebody, as it is less direct (and cold) than a simple "no."
When you are certain you don't want to be available and, instead, want to showcase your elusiveness, planned responses can be useful:
"I'd love to join, but I have plans already. How about next time?"
"I hate how busy I've been lately. I keep missing your parties. Next weekend I'm free if you are."
"You have no idea how much I'd rather be hanging with you, but something's come up and I have to take care of it."
1-3. Divide your attention.
You might be thinking of dividing your attention between different people at a party, and that is a very effective strategy for amplifying your elusiveness. However, you can also use body language to indicate that there might be more on your mind than your current conversation.
Look slightly upwards without completely breaking line of sight with your conversation partner to indicate distraction.
Repeated actions, like tapping your toes or casually checking your watch, also serve as signs that you might have other factors to contend with. Try to use subtle gestures so that you don't end up upsetting anyone.
1-4. Associate yourself with high status.
This doesn't mean you have to abandon your current group of friends for the popular group, but you might want to take some time to talk one-on-one with those who are well regarded in your community. This can give the impression that you are broadly connected, which only makes you more elusive.
If asked about your relationship with high status members, be vague or hint at non-specifics. As an example:
A: Hey, what were you and the class president talking about the other day?
B: Nothing in particular, aside from what everyone is talking about. But I really don't want to continue that conversation here, so maybe we'll pick it up again later?
1-5. Use names sparingly.
Language can sometimes have a strange effect on people, like making them unwilling to tear paper upon which the names of family members have been written. By withholding a name in conversation, you leave the subject you are talking about vague and uncertain, which by association, makes you more difficult to pin down. Practice using general forms of address:
"I'll be downtown tonight with some people my cousin introduced me to."
"So this guy I met through a friend of mine from way back said he had exactly the same problem as you."
1-6. Appreciate the difference between being elusive and being rude.
The point in being elusive is to evade physical or mental capture, but rudeness is hurtful to others. If you turn down a person too often or randomly disappear when hanging out, your friends might interpret your behavior as insensitive or disrespectful. Remember that the bonds of family and friendship require time and effort on your part to be preserved.
2. Making Elusiveness Routine
2-1. Develop, and believe in, rituals.
Rituals have a proven psychological effect of improving luck. When people see how well you do on your final exam after finishing your pre-test ritual, they might think you have some elusive insight into the inner workings of the world.
Get a lucky charm, like a rabbits foot, lucky coin, or game piece. These are highly portable, good conversation pieces, and can be soothing to trace or pet with your hand.
Consider a personal variation of a good luck gesture, like knocking on stone instead of knocking on wood, or tapping on the frame of a door before entering a room.
2-2. Have a "soft calendar."
There's no point in wasting your time alone just to give the impression that you're an elusive person, so why not plan ahead and look up activities to keep you occupied in the meantime? A soft calendar is filled with events that might be nice to do but can always be done later. A soft event, like going to the park, is flexible, where a doctor's appointment you scheduled a month ago is not. A soft calendar can also be a source for excuses in the event you offer a raincheck.
If a friend asks you to come on an outing, you might tell him that you were planning on going to the museum, and that you would love to join some other time.
If you should change your mind, like in the case of you finding out your best friend was also going on the trip, you can always say, "You know, I can go to the museum any day. I think I will join you this time."
2-3. Stay aware of your surroundings.
You never know when you might need to make an escape to sustain your elusive charm among your friends. When you are spending time at a public place, do some reconnaissance the day before or look up a map online. This way, if you feel the need to disappear discreetly, you can duck into an alcove unknown to others.
Use your knowledge of the lay of the land to your advantage. With a stopwatch you can time your return to the scene so that it's a surprise that makes people ask, "Where did you come from? And... when did you leave?"
2-4. Keep a wide circle of friends.
This is a way you can extend your influence in ways that surprise your regular crew. You can attend less popular sporting events to show your support, quickly establishing new friends in the process. Having a broad network of friends will give you options for spending your time that are consistent with your elusive demeanor.
Make sure you spend enough time with the people in your life to keep your relationships healthy. Even if you do not feel the closest connection with a person, you should always take feelings into account.
Warnings
Never try to be anything at the expense of your mental health or well-being. If you feel like your attempts at being elusive are making you less connected with your peers, this might be a sign that the elusive life isn't for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating Elusively\\n1-1. Try the \\\"less is more\\\" approach.\\nThough it might go against your instincts, your elusiveness rating might get a boost if you are intentionally indirect, incomplete, or vague in your conversations. You don't have to be withhold all the details from friends, classmates, and co-workers, but in a group setting people often imagine that other members are like themselves. Use this to your advantage by allowing your conversation partner's imagination to fill in the details they already expect. Some example questions and responses:\\nQ: What did you do last night?\\nA: Oh, the usual. You know me, I've always got something going on.\\nQ: What are your plans for this weekend?\\nA: Well, I was thinking about meeting up with some people downtown.\\n1-2. Learn the value of a raincheck.\\nThe key to this strategy is to accept the invitation, but not the occasion. Tell your friend or acquaintance that you'll gladly take them up on the offer some other time, but that you already have plans for the date mentioned. Be careful not to deny offers too frequently, or you might end up appearing cold or distant.\\nIt can help if you have some emergency chores or errands in reserve. This can also be a kinder way of postponing plans with somebody, as it is less direct (and cold) than a simple \\\"no.\\\"\\nWhen you are certain you don't want to be available and, instead, want to showcase your elusiveness, planned responses can be useful:\\n\\\"I'd love to join, but I have plans already. How about next time?\\\"\\n\\\"I hate how busy I've been lately. I keep missing your parties. Next weekend I'm free if you are.\\\"\\n\\\"You have no idea how much I'd rather be hanging with you, but something's come up and I have to take care of it.\\\"\\n1-3. Divide your attention.\\nYou might be thinking of dividing your attention between different people at a party, and that is a very effective strategy for amplifying your elusiveness. However, you can also use body language to indicate that there might be more on your mind than your current conversation.\\nLook slightly upwards without completely breaking line of sight with your conversation partner to indicate distraction.\\nRepeated actions, like tapping your toes or casually checking your watch, also serve as signs that you might have other factors to contend with. Try to use subtle gestures so that you don't end up upsetting anyone.\\n1-4. Associate yourself with high status.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to abandon your current group of friends for the popular group, but you might want to take some time to talk one-on-one with those who are well regarded in your community. This can give the impression that you are broadly connected, which only makes you more elusive.\\nIf asked about your relationship with high status members, be vague or hint at non-specifics. As an example:\\nA: Hey, what were you and the class president talking about the other day?\\nB: Nothing in particular, aside from what everyone is talking about. But I really don't want to continue that conversation here, so maybe we'll pick it up again later?\\n1-5. Use names sparingly.\\nLanguage can sometimes have a strange effect on people, like making them unwilling to tear paper upon which the names of family members have been written. By withholding a name in conversation, you leave the subject you are talking about vague and uncertain, which by association, makes you more difficult to pin down. Practice using general forms of address:\\n\\\"I'll be downtown tonight with some people my cousin introduced me to.\\\"\\n\\\"So this guy I met through a friend of mine from way back said he had exactly the same problem as you.\\\"\\n1-6. Appreciate the difference between being elusive and being rude.\\nThe point in being elusive is to evade physical or mental capture, but rudeness is hurtful to others. If you turn down a person too often or randomly disappear when hanging out, your friends might interpret your behavior as insensitive or disrespectful. Remember that the bonds of family and friendship require time and effort on your part to be preserved.\\n2. Making Elusiveness Routine\\n2-1. Develop, and believe in, rituals.\\nRituals have a proven psychological effect of improving luck. When people see how well you do on your final exam after finishing your pre-test ritual, they might think you have some elusive insight into the inner workings of the world.\\nGet a lucky charm, like a rabbits foot, lucky coin, or game piece. These are highly portable, good conversation pieces, and can be soothing to trace or pet with your hand.\\nConsider a personal variation of a good luck gesture, like knocking on stone instead of knocking on wood, or tapping on the frame of a door before entering a room.\\n2-2. Have a \\\"soft calendar.\\\"\\nThere's no point in wasting your time alone just to give the impression that you're an elusive person, so why not plan ahead and look up activities to keep you occupied in the meantime? A soft calendar is filled with events that might be nice to do but can always be done later. A soft event, like going to the park, is flexible, where a doctor's appointment you scheduled a month ago is not. A soft calendar can also be a source for excuses in the event you offer a raincheck.\\nIf a friend asks you to come on an outing, you might tell him that you were planning on going to the museum, and that you would love to join some other time.\\nIf you should change your mind, like in the case of you finding out your best friend was also going on the trip, you can always say, \\\"You know, I can go to the museum any day. I think I will join you this time.\\\"\\n2-3. Stay aware of your surroundings.\\nYou never know when you might need to make an escape to sustain your elusive charm among your friends. When you are spending time at a public place, do some reconnaissance the day before or look up a map online. This way, if you feel the need to disappear discreetly, you can duck into an alcove unknown to others.\\nUse your knowledge of the lay of the land to your advantage. With a stopwatch you can time your return to the scene so that it's a surprise that makes people ask, \\\"Where did you come from? And... when did you leave?\\\"\\n2-4. Keep a wide circle of friends.\\nThis is a way you can extend your influence in ways that surprise your regular crew. You can attend less popular sporting events to show your support, quickly establishing new friends in the process. Having a broad network of friends will give you options for spending your time that are consistent with your elusive demeanor.\\nMake sure you spend enough time with the people in your life to keep your relationships healthy. Even if you do not feel the closest connection with a person, you should always take feelings into account.\\nWarnings\\nNever try to be anything at the expense of your mental health or well-being. If you feel like your attempts at being elusive are making you less connected with your peers, this might be a sign that the elusive life isn't for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The quality of being elusive can be elusive in and of itself. To remain outside the net of capture, perception, comprehension, or memory -- that is the goal of the elusive individual! Depending on your covert aims, there are many ways for you to go about creating an elusive atmosphere about yourself. Studies agree, being considered elusive among your friends or co-workers can make you a more more attractive, more elusively interesting person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating Elusively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try the \\\"less is more\\\" approach.\", \"描述\": \"Though it might go against your instincts, your elusiveness rating might get a boost if you are intentionally indirect, incomplete, or vague in your conversations. You don't have to be withhold all the details from friends, classmates, and co-workers, but in a group setting people often imagine that other members are like themselves. Use this to your advantage by allowing your conversation partner's imagination to fill in the details they already expect. Some example questions and responses:\\nQ: What did you do last night?\\nA: Oh, the usual. You know me, I've always got something going on.\\nQ: What are your plans for this weekend?\\nA: Well, I was thinking about meeting up with some people downtown.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the value of a raincheck.\", \"描述\": \"The key to this strategy is to accept the invitation, but not the occasion. Tell your friend or acquaintance that you'll gladly take them up on the offer some other time, but that you already have plans for the date mentioned. Be careful not to deny offers too frequently, or you might end up appearing cold or distant.\\nIt can help if you have some emergency chores or errands in reserve. This can also be a kinder way of postponing plans with somebody, as it is less direct (and cold) than a simple \\\"no.\\\"\\nWhen you are certain you don't want to be available and, instead, want to showcase your elusiveness, planned responses can be useful:\\n\\\"I'd love to join, but I have plans already. How about next time?\\\"\\n\\\"I hate how busy I've been lately. I keep missing your parties. Next weekend I'm free if you are.\\\"\\n\\\"You have no idea how much I'd rather be hanging with you, but something's come up and I have to take care of it.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Divide your attention.\", \"描述\": \"You might be thinking of dividing your attention between different people at a party, and that is a very effective strategy for amplifying your elusiveness. However, you can also use body language to indicate that there might be more on your mind than your current conversation.\\nLook slightly upwards without completely breaking line of sight with your conversation partner to indicate distraction.\\nRepeated actions, like tapping your toes or casually checking your watch, also serve as signs that you might have other factors to contend with. Try to use subtle gestures so that you don't end up upsetting anyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Associate yourself with high status.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean you have to abandon your current group of friends for the popular group, but you might want to take some time to talk one-on-one with those who are well regarded in your community. This can give the impression that you are broadly connected, which only makes you more elusive.\\nIf asked about your relationship with high status members, be vague or hint at non-specifics. As an example:\\nA: Hey, what were you and the class president talking about the other day?\\nB: Nothing in particular, aside from what everyone is talking about. But I really don't want to continue that conversation here, so maybe we'll pick it up again later?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use names sparingly.\", \"描述\": \"Language can sometimes have a strange effect on people, like making them unwilling to tear paper upon which the names of family members have been written. By withholding a name in conversation, you leave the subject you are talking about vague and uncertain, which by association, makes you more difficult to pin down. Practice using general forms of address:\\n\\\"I'll be downtown tonight with some people my cousin introduced me to.\\\"\\n\\\"So this guy I met through a friend of mine from way back said he had exactly the same problem as you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Appreciate the difference between being elusive and being rude.\", \"描述\": \"The point in being elusive is to evade physical or mental capture, but rudeness is hurtful to others. If you turn down a person too often or randomly disappear when hanging out, your friends might interpret your behavior as insensitive or disrespectful. Remember that the bonds of family and friendship require time and effort on your part to be preserved.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Elusiveness Routine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop, and believe in, rituals.\", \"描述\": \"Rituals have a proven psychological effect of improving luck. When people see how well you do on your final exam after finishing your pre-test ritual, they might think you have some elusive insight into the inner workings of the world.\\nGet a lucky charm, like a rabbits foot, lucky coin, or game piece. These are highly portable, good conversation pieces, and can be soothing to trace or pet with your hand.\\nConsider a personal variation of a good luck gesture, like knocking on stone instead of knocking on wood, or tapping on the frame of a door before entering a room.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a \\\"soft calendar.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"There's no point in wasting your time alone just to give the impression that you're an elusive person, so why not plan ahead and look up activities to keep you occupied in the meantime? A soft calendar is filled with events that might be nice to do but can always be done later. A soft event, like going to the park, is flexible, where a doctor's appointment you scheduled a month ago is not. A soft calendar can also be a source for excuses in the event you offer a raincheck.\\nIf a friend asks you to come on an outing, you might tell him that you were planning on going to the museum, and that you would love to join some other time.\\nIf you should change your mind, like in the case of you finding out your best friend was also going on the trip, you can always say, \\\"You know, I can go to the museum any day. I think I will join you this time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay aware of your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"You never know when you might need to make an escape to sustain your elusive charm among your friends. When you are spending time at a public place, do some reconnaissance the day before or look up a map online. This way, if you feel the need to disappear discreetly, you can duck into an alcove unknown to others.\\nUse your knowledge of the lay of the land to your advantage. With a stopwatch you can time your return to the scene so that it's a surprise that makes people ask, \\\"Where did you come from? And... when did you leave?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a wide circle of friends.\", \"描述\": \"This is a way you can extend your influence in ways that surprise your regular crew. You can attend less popular sporting events to show your support, quickly establishing new friends in the process. Having a broad network of friends will give you options for spending your time that are consistent with your elusive demeanor.\\nMake sure you spend enough time with the people in your life to keep your relationships healthy. Even if you do not feel the closest connection with a person, you should always take feelings into account.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Never try to be anything at the expense of your mental health or well-being. If you feel like your attempts at being elusive are making you less connected with your peers, this might be a sign that the elusive life isn't for you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,696 | How to Be Emo | 1. Looking the Part
1-1. Get an Emo appearance.
Start with getting emo styled hair; up until the mid-2000s, there was no real emo hairstyle. These days, "emo hair" usually refers to a particular layered haircut in which long bangs are swept and styled to one side usually held in place with mousse, hair gel, or pomade. The color is mainly their original but sometimes, emo hair is dyed black and sometimes features a bright highlight of blonde or other punky colors.
To get modern-day emo hair, start growing out your bangs but still getting clean-up cuts on the back of your neck. Pull the bangs over evenly across above your eyebrow and use mousse, hair gel, or pomade. If you're female, get layers in your hair on the sides.
To get modern styled makeup, start using liquid or pencil eyeliner. Don't be afraid to apply to the waterline, experimenting with this will only make you better.
Start wearing nail polish, black is usually a popular color among emos. Don't be afraid to wear different colors or mix them, either.
Consider getting piercings. Snake bites and septum rings are very common piercings among the emo community; if you are old enough, contemplate getting one of your fancies.
1-2. Dress in Emo fashion.
Start changing your wardrobe to include more garments involved with the emo subculture. In the beginning, there was no real emo fashion, but as it moved towards the mainstream, that's when skinny jeans and eyeliner started to become popular. Start investing in:
Plaid shirts and sweaters are popular in Midwestern emo fashion.
Vintage t-shirts and checked shirts: checked shirts match well with band t-shirts, especially if they are in black and white print. Wear emo bands t-shirts as Rites of Spring, Moss Icon, Sunny Day Real Estate, Armor For Sleep or American Football underneath.
Thick horn-rimmed glasses, these are optional but they were worn in the original emocore style.
Messenger bags to carry your notebooks and diary around; you never know when you may get a hit of inspiration. Emo is about being creative so don't hesitate to carry around a sketchbook or pencils in there, either.
Flat shoes such as converse or vans: any type of canvas slip-on shoes work well, too, and you can buy these from any budget shoe store. You do not have to buy them new.
Accessories: keep an eye out for scarves, bandanas, stripy socks, wristbands/sweatbands, studded belts, safety pins/badges, and fingerless gloves. Stay away from anything fishnet/anything sporting dark patterns, or anything that looks even remotely like a razor-blade, emo is not dark, and by wearing something that looks like a razor-blade, you are only perpetuating unfair stereotypes.
Skinny jeans: buy several pairs of black, blue, and even multi-colored skinny jeans; you can even branch out into boot cut jeans. Anything that you are comfortable in will work best.
Jean cuffing is a common practice among emos and punks. It has been done in their scenes from the late 1970s to the early 80s. If you want to look the part, this is a must. Simply take the bottom of your pants leg and fold it upward once or twice. To pin-cuff, pull both sides after cuffing.
1-3. Make good friends with the hoodie.
Nearly all emo styles involve in some way or another the good old-friend of the wardrobe: the hooded sweatshirt. It's possible to give that hoodie a distinctively emo flair, however, which doesn't need to take more than a little extra effort to pull off. Most emo hoodies will be black, sometimes featuring band patches or a small amount of white trim.
Cut a hole for your thumbs in the sleeves of your hoodies. Wear it with your thumbs sticking through to keep yourself warm in the winter months.
1-4. Embrace androgyny.
Style is largely similar for emo kids of all genders. The haircuts, dress, and use of make-up tend to cross the genders, resulting in a distinctive and androgynous look.
2. Understanding Emo
2-1. Learn about emo.
To be emo, you need to understand emo; it helps to know your history on the subculture if you're claiming to be part of it. Contrary to mainstream belief, emo does not mean emotional and is a subgenre of hardcore punk and post-hardcore. standing for 'emotive hardcore'. Originating from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s, the first printed use of the term "emo-core" was first said to be used in Thrasher magazine. It describes bands who used a more confessional, self-questioning, and personal approach to lyrical themes as opposed to the confrontational and politically-charged themes of its parent genre. Other facts about emocore include:
The Beach Boys' 1966 album Pet Sounds was labeled "the first emo album" by Treblezine's Ernest Simpson.
Minor Threat fan Guy Picciotto despised the heightened violence in the hardcore punk scene, so he formed Rites of Spring, known as the first emo band, in 1984 to turn the focus back to the individual. To add to their legacy, they were only documented performing 15 times in two years before their disbandment in 1986.
In 1980, Ian Mackaye founded the Dischord records label where it signed many Washington D.C hardcore punk bands. Later on, it went onto sign Mackaye and Picciotto's iconic band Fugazi. Fugazi was not emo, drawing in elements of hardcore, funk, and jazz instead, but they did inspire emo bands in the mid-90s to abandon conventional hardcore roots.
Minor Threat member Ian Mackaye eventually became a fan/roadie of the band and then created his own; Embrace who followed the same characteristics of Rites of Spring. However, they hated being called 'emo'.
Revolution Summer 1985. An attempt deliberately sought by bands like Gray Matter, Beefeater, Dag Nasty, and Soulside to break the limitations of hardcore punk in favor of a fresh idea of creativity.
2-2. Know the subgenres of emo.
Emo did not so much evolve but grew offshoots and subgenres instead. The original emocore sound is still around but as the decades went on, other bands who became part of the scene added and exchanged characteristics. That being said, if you're more into one emo style than another, it doesn't matter because it's still emo. Here are the subgenres of emo:
Emocore: short for emotive hardcore, the original style of emo which grew from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s with Rites of Spring and Embrace. Other bands followed suit such as Gray Matter and Fire Party, who was termed "the world's first female-fronted emo band".
Post-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: emo was reinvented in the 90s, becoming more melodic and mixed with indie rock to create a softer sound. A perfect example of this sound is Sunny Day Real Estate's 1994 album Diary. Midwest emo was popular enough to form a small subculture surrounding the genre, and was more romantic than emo had ever been.
Emo Pop: emo-pop is a fusion genre of emo and pop-punk. The genre's characteristics include more concise, hook-filled choruses, high-pitched melodies, and lyrical themes addressing adolescence, relationships, and heartbreak. Pioneers include The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, and Jimmy Eat World, whose single The Middle broke the mainstream in the 00s.
Screamo: a misunderstood genre originating from San Diego cafe in California, 1991 with bands like Heroin and Antioch Arrow. The style has more aggressive styled vocals, unconventional song structures, and lyrical themes of human rights, politics, romantic interest, and emotional pain. The genre is incredibly influenced by hardcore punk. Some sub-genres of screamo include Emoviolence, Sasscore, Post-rock/Screamo, Blackened Screamo, and Skramgaze.
2-3. Appreciate Emo music.
Start finding emo bands to listen to, and start expanding your music taste. To understand what emo sounds like, try out the most popular and stable albums and bands of the genre:
Emocore: Rites of Spring - End on End (1991), Embrace - self titled (1987), Gray Matter - Food for Thought (1990), Dag Nasty - Can I Say (1986), Moss Icon - Lyburnum Wits End Liberation Fly (1994).
Post-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary (1994), Texas is the Reason - Do You Know Who You Are? (1996), Christie Front Drive - self-titled (1997), The Promise Ring - 30° Everywhere (1996) and Cap'n Jazz - Analphabetapolothology (1998). Other famous Midwestern emo bands include American Football and Mineral.
Emo Pop: The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About (1999), Thursday - Full Collapse (2001), Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (2001), Panic! at the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (2005), You Me At Six - Take Off Your Colours (2008).
Screamo: Circle Takes The Square - As The Roots Undo (2004), Touché Amoré – Is Survived By (2013), City of Caterpillar - self-titled (2002), Pg.99 - Document #8 (2001), Funeral Diner - Difference of Potential (2000) and Orchid - Dance Tonight! Revolution Tomorrow! (2000). Antioch Arrow is another popular screamo band.
Check out Sophie's Floorboard blog. You can download emo/screamo/hardcore albums from here, although you must remember that not everything is supposed to be free and if you can find either a physical copy of the files to buy you should.
Create accounts on Last.fm, SoundCloud, SoundClick, Bandcamp, Pandora, YouTube, and other music streaming sites to find more modern and lesser-known emo bands. Make sure that the bands are emo, though, by identifying their characteristics.
2-4. Tell the difference between emo and other subcultures.
Some other subcultures that get confused with emo are scene and goth.
Emo is a subculture that is based around music. It has a longer history than scenes and deals with emotions, self-expression, and self-exploration. Being emo means you understand your roots, listen to emo music and participate in the community.
Scene is a subculture that emerged from members of the chav subculture in England experimenting with alternative fashions. It is a mixture of several styles including emo, indie pop, rave, and punk fashions. Scenes tend to wear brighter colors, and have teased/backcombed hair which may feature "cool tails". Scene kids tend to listen to music genres like metalcore, deathcore, and crunkcore, as opposed to emo kids who listen to emo genres.
Goth is a subculture that emerged from the British post-punk scene in the late 70s/early 80s. Goths primarily listen to goth rock, cold wave, deathrock, and darkwave music. Bela Lugosi's Dead, the 1979 single by Bauhaus was said to be the birth of the music genre, and the Batcave, a nightclub opened in 1982, the birth of the subculture.
2-5. Develop a passion for different kinds of music.
Generally speaking, all emo music has two things in common: big, sweeping, extremely melodramatic guitar-based music, either aggressive and harsh or acoustic and gentle, that contain confessional or explicitly personal lyrics, often about heartbreak and loneliness. The Used doesn't sound much like Death Cab for Cutie which doesn't sound anything like Jawbreaker. They're all emo bands. Pick the sounds you like and don't listen to what you don't like.
If you want to dress emo and listen to Sunny Day Real Estate, go for it. If you also have Lady Gaga, Johnny Cash, and Cannibal Ox on your iPod, that doesn't make you any less emo. A real "emo" is someone who listens to emotive hardcore music and genres surrounding it, so as long as you're into emo, you are emo.
While a guy with dark hair and eyeliner listening to Dashboard Confessional in Columbus, OH might be considered emo by a lot of people, the California blonde who surfs and listens to Dashboard Confessional might consider herself emo as well. Treat this as an opportunity for everyone to appreciate the music as appearance doesn't matter.
2-6. Look to the bands for tips.
For tips about music, definitions of "emo," and fashion, check out the guys and gals making the music for advice. See who they listen to, who they're influenced by, what they read, and what they recommend. Learn straight from the source.
Read Nothing Feels Good by Andy Greenwald, a book highlighting the history of emo.
3. Participating in Emo Culture
3-1. Go to shows.
Originally, emo was a small local scene that attracted national attention. In this way, a movement started that's now global. Get back in touch with that original impulse by hanging around the local shows in your own backyard. It's one thing to go to the Warped Tour and check out the national bands you hear, but it's another to check out and support local emo bands who are trying to get started.
Volunteer to help out at all-ages shows and DIY clubs to put on gigs. Hand out fliers and befriend other bands. Check out local zines and participate in the scene.
3-2. Cultivate a creative persona.
In general, the emo subculture values the arts. Painting, making music, writing, and expressing yourself creatively are all important ways to participate in the emo subculture. Find a way to express yourself and devote your free time to perfecting your art. Write poetry and turn your words into songs. Write reviews of emo music and start a music blog.
3-3. Consider picking up an instrument.
Being able to play music by yourself or in a band would give you huge credibility and would be a fun way to engage with emo more directly. Start writing your own songs and playing your own music and you'll be actively participating in the creative culture.
Try playing the bass or guitar, or perhaps even the violin, which sounds amazing in emo songs if you invest enough time in it. The drums might also be a very good instrument because drummers are in regular demand for all sorts of bands.
3-4. Make your own clothes
If emo is punk, then we can assume emo is DIY too. Most original emo bands were very shorted-lived and didn't even put their music onto CDs, never mind make t-shirts. This might be your perfect opportunity to create your own t-shirts, badges, pins, patches, bags, etc with your favorite emo bands on them.
Decorate your converse. Personalize your converse/Vans with band logos or doodles. Show your creativity, but just be mindful of what you write on there and be careful of mistakes (if it's a permanent marker, it won't come off).
Added patches and pins onto your messenger bag. This is a perfect chance to showcase your favorite emo bands by making pins and attaching them to your bag. Stick clay or blue-tack on the bag if you're worried about them falling off.
Find a good website to design your own t-shirt, just make sure that you won't get in legal trouble for this. Check all terms and conditions before attempting to print any sort of logo that may be copyrighted.
Tips
Learn your terms and that emo isn't subjective. If you decide that "emo" is suddenly Twenty One Pilots because of their sad lyrical themes, someone else can decide that Nine Inch Nails are punk because they're loud and use fast dynamics. There's a history behind these terms, and you have to learn about them rather than trying to make up your own definition.[28]
X
Research source
Subcultures are based on unifying aspects and terms, so erasing them or making up your own doesn't make sense. This happens in the goth subculture a lot, but it stands for emo, too.[29]
X
Research source
Don't become emo unless it's your true self. Find your own style and expand it.
Ideally, music is the most important part of emo, and fashion, at the end of the day, isn't something to worry about. Wear emo fashion if you want, but remember that it is the music that makes you emo, not the skinny jeans.
Warnings
Emo is absolutely not about cutting yourself, anger or depression. It will not make you more emo. Emo doesn't mean self-harm; it means self-expression. If you or someone you love is in a crisis, reach out to a suicide hotline such as 1-800-SUICIDE
Really look after your hair. Dying, bleaching, teasing, using straighteners without heat protection, and washing it too much can all have long term damaging effects on your hair. It's recommended that you use deep-conditioning treatments frequently. Do not straighten your hair every day, or you will fry it; on off days, try wearing a snapback or beanie to hide messy hair.
Note that metalcore and deathcore bands are not 'emo', but it doesn't stop you from listening to them and wearing their merchandise if you wish. Just refrain from mislabelling them either "emo" or "screamo" if it's not the correct term (use a credible source such as Discogs or isthisbandemo.com).
Contrary to mainstream belief, screamo is a real genre of music and isn't any band that uses the screaming vocal technique. Screamo is also not any metalcore or deathcore band such as As I Lay Dying or Asking Alexandria; it is its own separate genre.
Some people (mostly online) will harass you for your style.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking the Part\\n1-1. Get an Emo appearance.\\nStart with getting emo styled hair; up until the mid-2000s, there was no real emo hairstyle. These days, \\\"emo hair\\\" usually refers to a particular layered haircut in which long bangs are swept and styled to one side usually held in place with mousse, hair gel, or pomade. The color is mainly their original but sometimes, emo hair is dyed black and sometimes features a bright highlight of blonde or other punky colors.\\nTo get modern-day emo hair, start growing out your bangs but still getting clean-up cuts on the back of your neck. Pull the bangs over evenly across above your eyebrow and use mousse, hair gel, or pomade. If you're female, get layers in your hair on the sides.\\nTo get modern styled makeup, start using liquid or pencil eyeliner. Don't be afraid to apply to the waterline, experimenting with this will only make you better.\\nStart wearing nail polish, black is usually a popular color among emos. Don't be afraid to wear different colors or mix them, either.\\nConsider getting piercings. Snake bites and septum rings are very common piercings among the emo community; if you are old enough, contemplate getting one of your fancies.\\n1-2. Dress in Emo fashion.\\nStart changing your wardrobe to include more garments involved with the emo subculture. In the beginning, there was no real emo fashion, but as it moved towards the mainstream, that's when skinny jeans and eyeliner started to become popular. Start investing in: \\nPlaid shirts and sweaters are popular in Midwestern emo fashion.\\nVintage t-shirts and checked shirts: checked shirts match well with band t-shirts, especially if they are in black and white print. Wear emo bands t-shirts as Rites of Spring, Moss Icon, Sunny Day Real Estate, Armor For Sleep or American Football underneath.\\nThick horn-rimmed glasses, these are optional but they were worn in the original emocore style.\\n\\nMessenger bags to carry your notebooks and diary around; you never know when you may get a hit of inspiration. Emo is about being creative so don't hesitate to carry around a sketchbook or pencils in there, either.\\nFlat shoes such as converse or vans: any type of canvas slip-on shoes work well, too, and you can buy these from any budget shoe store. You do not have to buy them new.\\nAccessories: keep an eye out for scarves, bandanas, stripy socks, wristbands/sweatbands, studded belts, safety pins/badges, and fingerless gloves. Stay away from anything fishnet/anything sporting dark patterns, or anything that looks even remotely like a razor-blade, emo is not dark, and by wearing something that looks like a razor-blade, you are only perpetuating unfair stereotypes.\\nSkinny jeans: buy several pairs of black, blue, and even multi-colored skinny jeans; you can even branch out into boot cut jeans. Anything that you are comfortable in will work best.\\nJean cuffing is a common practice among emos and punks. It has been done in their scenes from the late 1970s to the early 80s. If you want to look the part, this is a must. Simply take the bottom of your pants leg and fold it upward once or twice. To pin-cuff, pull both sides after cuffing.\\n1-3. Make good friends with the hoodie.\\nNearly all emo styles involve in some way or another the good old-friend of the wardrobe: the hooded sweatshirt. It's possible to give that hoodie a distinctively emo flair, however, which doesn't need to take more than a little extra effort to pull off. Most emo hoodies will be black, sometimes featuring band patches or a small amount of white trim.\\nCut a hole for your thumbs in the sleeves of your hoodies. Wear it with your thumbs sticking through to keep yourself warm in the winter months.\\n1-4. Embrace androgyny.\\nStyle is largely similar for emo kids of all genders. The haircuts, dress, and use of make-up tend to cross the genders, resulting in a distinctive and androgynous look.\\n2. Understanding Emo\\n2-1. Learn about emo.\\nTo be emo, you need to understand emo; it helps to know your history on the subculture if you're claiming to be part of it. Contrary to mainstream belief, emo does not mean emotional and is a subgenre of hardcore punk and post-hardcore. standing for 'emotive hardcore'. Originating from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s, the first printed use of the term \\\"emo-core\\\" was first said to be used in Thrasher magazine. It describes bands who used a more confessional, self-questioning, and personal approach to lyrical themes as opposed to the confrontational and politically-charged themes of its parent genre. Other facts about emocore include:\\nThe Beach Boys' 1966 album Pet Sounds was labeled \\\"the first emo album\\\" by Treblezine's Ernest Simpson.\\nMinor Threat fan Guy Picciotto despised the heightened violence in the hardcore punk scene, so he formed Rites of Spring, known as the first emo band, in 1984 to turn the focus back to the individual. To add to their legacy, they were only documented performing 15 times in two years before their disbandment in 1986.\\nIn 1980, Ian Mackaye founded the Dischord records label where it signed many Washington D.C hardcore punk bands. Later on, it went onto sign Mackaye and Picciotto's iconic band Fugazi. Fugazi was not emo, drawing in elements of hardcore, funk, and jazz instead, but they did inspire emo bands in the mid-90s to abandon conventional hardcore roots.\\nMinor Threat member Ian Mackaye eventually became a fan/roadie of the band and then created his own; Embrace who followed the same characteristics of Rites of Spring. However, they hated being called 'emo'.\\nRevolution Summer 1985. An attempt deliberately sought by bands like Gray Matter, Beefeater, Dag Nasty, and Soulside to break the limitations of hardcore punk in favor of a fresh idea of creativity.\\n2-2. Know the subgenres of emo.\\nEmo did not so much evolve but grew offshoots and subgenres instead. The original emocore sound is still around but as the decades went on, other bands who became part of the scene added and exchanged characteristics. That being said, if you're more into one emo style than another, it doesn't matter because it's still emo. Here are the subgenres of emo:\\nEmocore: short for emotive hardcore, the original style of emo which grew from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s with Rites of Spring and Embrace. Other bands followed suit such as Gray Matter and Fire Party, who was termed \\\"the world's first female-fronted emo band\\\".\\nPost-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: emo was reinvented in the 90s, becoming more melodic and mixed with indie rock to create a softer sound. A perfect example of this sound is Sunny Day Real Estate's 1994 album Diary. Midwest emo was popular enough to form a small subculture surrounding the genre, and was more romantic than emo had ever been.\\nEmo Pop: emo-pop is a fusion genre of emo and pop-punk. The genre's characteristics include more concise, hook-filled choruses, high-pitched melodies, and lyrical themes addressing adolescence, relationships, and heartbreak. Pioneers include The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, and Jimmy Eat World, whose single The Middle broke the mainstream in the 00s.\\nScreamo: a misunderstood genre originating from San Diego cafe in California, 1991 with bands like Heroin and Antioch Arrow. The style has more aggressive styled vocals, unconventional song structures, and lyrical themes of human rights, politics, romantic interest, and emotional pain. The genre is incredibly influenced by hardcore punk. Some sub-genres of screamo include Emoviolence, Sasscore, Post-rock/Screamo, Blackened Screamo, and Skramgaze.\\n2-3. Appreciate Emo music.\\nStart finding emo bands to listen to, and start expanding your music taste. To understand what emo sounds like, try out the most popular and stable albums and bands of the genre:\\nEmocore: Rites of Spring - End on End (1991), Embrace - self titled (1987), Gray Matter - Food for Thought (1990), Dag Nasty - Can I Say (1986), Moss Icon - Lyburnum Wits End Liberation Fly (1994).\\nPost-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary (1994), Texas is the Reason - Do You Know Who You Are? (1996), Christie Front Drive - self-titled (1997), The Promise Ring - 30° Everywhere (1996) and Cap'n Jazz - Analphabetapolothology (1998). Other famous Midwestern emo bands include American Football and Mineral.\\nEmo Pop: The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About (1999), Thursday - Full Collapse (2001), Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (2001), Panic! at the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (2005), You Me At Six - Take Off Your Colours (2008).\\nScreamo: Circle Takes The Square - As The Roots Undo (2004), Touché Amoré – Is Survived By (2013), City of Caterpillar - self-titled (2002), Pg.99 - Document #8 (2001), Funeral Diner - Difference of Potential (2000) and Orchid - Dance Tonight! Revolution Tomorrow! (2000). Antioch Arrow is another popular screamo band.\\nCheck out Sophie's Floorboard blog. You can download emo/screamo/hardcore albums from here, although you must remember that not everything is supposed to be free and if you can find either a physical copy of the files to buy you should.\\nCreate accounts on Last.fm, SoundCloud, SoundClick, Bandcamp, Pandora, YouTube, and other music streaming sites to find more modern and lesser-known emo bands. Make sure that the bands are emo, though, by identifying their characteristics.\\n2-4. Tell the difference between emo and other subcultures.\\nSome other subcultures that get confused with emo are scene and goth.\\nEmo is a subculture that is based around music. It has a longer history than scenes and deals with emotions, self-expression, and self-exploration. Being emo means you understand your roots, listen to emo music and participate in the community.\\nScene is a subculture that emerged from members of the chav subculture in England experimenting with alternative fashions. It is a mixture of several styles including emo, indie pop, rave, and punk fashions. Scenes tend to wear brighter colors, and have teased/backcombed hair which may feature \\\"cool tails\\\". Scene kids tend to listen to music genres like metalcore, deathcore, and crunkcore, as opposed to emo kids who listen to emo genres.\\nGoth is a subculture that emerged from the British post-punk scene in the late 70s/early 80s. Goths primarily listen to goth rock, cold wave, deathrock, and darkwave music. Bela Lugosi's Dead, the 1979 single by Bauhaus was said to be the birth of the music genre, and the Batcave, a nightclub opened in 1982, the birth of the subculture.\\n2-5. Develop a passion for different kinds of music.\\nGenerally speaking, all emo music has two things in common: big, sweeping, extremely melodramatic guitar-based music, either aggressive and harsh or acoustic and gentle, that contain confessional or explicitly personal lyrics, often about heartbreak and loneliness. The Used doesn't sound much like Death Cab for Cutie which doesn't sound anything like Jawbreaker. They're all emo bands. Pick the sounds you like and don't listen to what you don't like.\\nIf you want to dress emo and listen to Sunny Day Real Estate, go for it. If you also have Lady Gaga, Johnny Cash, and Cannibal Ox on your iPod, that doesn't make you any less emo. A real \\\"emo\\\" is someone who listens to emotive hardcore music and genres surrounding it, so as long as you're into emo, you are emo.\\nWhile a guy with dark hair and eyeliner listening to Dashboard Confessional in Columbus, OH might be considered emo by a lot of people, the California blonde who surfs and listens to Dashboard Confessional might consider herself emo as well. Treat this as an opportunity for everyone to appreciate the music as appearance doesn't matter.\\n2-6. Look to the bands for tips.\\nFor tips about music, definitions of \\\"emo,\\\" and fashion, check out the guys and gals making the music for advice. See who they listen to, who they're influenced by, what they read, and what they recommend. Learn straight from the source.\\nRead Nothing Feels Good by Andy Greenwald, a book highlighting the history of emo.\\n3. Participating in Emo Culture\\n3-1. Go to shows.\\nOriginally, emo was a small local scene that attracted national attention. In this way, a movement started that's now global. Get back in touch with that original impulse by hanging around the local shows in your own backyard. It's one thing to go to the Warped Tour and check out the national bands you hear, but it's another to check out and support local emo bands who are trying to get started.\\nVolunteer to help out at all-ages shows and DIY clubs to put on gigs. Hand out fliers and befriend other bands. Check out local zines and participate in the scene.\\n3-2. Cultivate a creative persona.\\nIn general, the emo subculture values the arts. Painting, making music, writing, and expressing yourself creatively are all important ways to participate in the emo subculture. Find a way to express yourself and devote your free time to perfecting your art. Write poetry and turn your words into songs. Write reviews of emo music and start a music blog.\\n3-3. Consider picking up an instrument.\\nBeing able to play music by yourself or in a band would give you huge credibility and would be a fun way to engage with emo more directly. Start writing your own songs and playing your own music and you'll be actively participating in the creative culture.\\nTry playing the bass or guitar, or perhaps even the violin, which sounds amazing in emo songs if you invest enough time in it. The drums might also be a very good instrument because drummers are in regular demand for all sorts of bands.\\n3-4. Make your own clothes\\nIf emo is punk, then we can assume emo is DIY too. Most original emo bands were very shorted-lived and didn't even put their music onto CDs, never mind make t-shirts. This might be your perfect opportunity to create your own t-shirts, badges, pins, patches, bags, etc with your favorite emo bands on them.\\n\\nDecorate your converse. Personalize your converse/Vans with band logos or doodles. Show your creativity, but just be mindful of what you write on there and be careful of mistakes (if it's a permanent marker, it won't come off).\\nAdded patches and pins onto your messenger bag. This is a perfect chance to showcase your favorite emo bands by making pins and attaching them to your bag. Stick clay or blue-tack on the bag if you're worried about them falling off.\\nFind a good website to design your own t-shirt, just make sure that you won't get in legal trouble for this. Check all terms and conditions before attempting to print any sort of logo that may be copyrighted.\\nTips\\nLearn your terms and that emo isn't subjective. If you decide that \\\"emo\\\" is suddenly Twenty One Pilots because of their sad lyrical themes, someone else can decide that Nine Inch Nails are punk because they're loud and use fast dynamics. There's a history behind these terms, and you have to learn about them rather than trying to make up your own definition.[28]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Subcultures are based on unifying aspects and terms, so erasing them or making up your own doesn't make sense. This happens in the goth subculture a lot, but it stands for emo, too.[29]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't become emo unless it's your true self. Find your own style and expand it.\\nIdeally, music is the most important part of emo, and fashion, at the end of the day, isn't something to worry about. Wear emo fashion if you want, but remember that it is the music that makes you emo, not the skinny jeans.\\nWarnings\\nEmo is absolutely not about cutting yourself, anger or depression. It will not make you more emo. Emo doesn't mean self-harm; it means self-expression. If you or someone you love is in a crisis, reach out to a suicide hotline such as 1-800-SUICIDE\\nReally look after your hair. Dying, bleaching, teasing, using straighteners without heat protection, and washing it too much can all have long term damaging effects on your hair. It's recommended that you use deep-conditioning treatments frequently. Do not straighten your hair every day, or you will fry it; on off days, try wearing a snapback or beanie to hide messy hair.\\nNote that metalcore and deathcore bands are not 'emo', but it doesn't stop you from listening to them and wearing their merchandise if you wish. Just refrain from mislabelling them either \\\"emo\\\" or \\\"screamo\\\" if it's not the correct term (use a credible source such as Discogs or isthisbandemo.com).\\nContrary to mainstream belief, screamo is a real genre of music and isn't any band that uses the screaming vocal technique. Screamo is also not any metalcore or deathcore band such as As I Lay Dying or Asking Alexandria; it is its own separate genre.\\nSome people (mostly online) will harass you for your style.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"From the suburbs to the beaches, from Mexico to Iraq, teenagers have been self-identifying as \\\"emo\\\" for years, yet it still manages to confound and confuse the mainstream today. What is emo and what does it even mean to be emo? Based on the melodically-aggressive and complicated underground music of mid-80s Washington DC, emo has its roots in mostly hardcore punk and indie but it has expanded into many styles, sounds, and cultures from indie rock to pop-punk. Emo is huge and it's here to stay. If you want to learn about the history, the music, and the culture to get started participating in emo culture, you've come to the right place.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get an Emo appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Start with getting emo styled hair; up until the mid-2000s, there was no real emo hairstyle. These days, \\\"emo hair\\\" usually refers to a particular layered haircut in which long bangs are swept and styled to one side usually held in place with mousse, hair gel, or pomade. The color is mainly their original but sometimes, emo hair is dyed black and sometimes features a bright highlight of blonde or other punky colors.\\nTo get modern-day emo hair, start growing out your bangs but still getting clean-up cuts on the back of your neck. Pull the bangs over evenly across above your eyebrow and use mousse, hair gel, or pomade. If you're female, get layers in your hair on the sides.\\nTo get modern styled makeup, start using liquid or pencil eyeliner. Don't be afraid to apply to the waterline, experimenting with this will only make you better.\\nStart wearing nail polish, black is usually a popular color among emos. Don't be afraid to wear different colors or mix them, either.\\nConsider getting piercings. Snake bites and septum rings are very common piercings among the emo community; if you are old enough, contemplate getting one of your fancies.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress in Emo fashion.\", \"描述\": \"Start changing your wardrobe to include more garments involved with the emo subculture. In the beginning, there was no real emo fashion, but as it moved towards the mainstream, that's when skinny jeans and eyeliner started to become popular. Start investing in: \\nPlaid shirts and sweaters are popular in Midwestern emo fashion.\\nVintage t-shirts and checked shirts: checked shirts match well with band t-shirts, especially if they are in black and white print. Wear emo bands t-shirts as Rites of Spring, Moss Icon, Sunny Day Real Estate, Armor For Sleep or American Football underneath.\\nThick horn-rimmed glasses, these are optional but they were worn in the original emocore style.\\n\\nMessenger bags to carry your notebooks and diary around; you never know when you may get a hit of inspiration. Emo is about being creative so don't hesitate to carry around a sketchbook or pencils in there, either.\\nFlat shoes such as converse or vans: any type of canvas slip-on shoes work well, too, and you can buy these from any budget shoe store. You do not have to buy them new.\\nAccessories: keep an eye out for scarves, bandanas, stripy socks, wristbands/sweatbands, studded belts, safety pins/badges, and fingerless gloves. Stay away from anything fishnet/anything sporting dark patterns, or anything that looks even remotely like a razor-blade, emo is not dark, and by wearing something that looks like a razor-blade, you are only perpetuating unfair stereotypes.\\nSkinny jeans: buy several pairs of black, blue, and even multi-colored skinny jeans; you can even branch out into boot cut jeans. Anything that you are comfortable in will work best.\\nJean cuffing is a common practice among emos and punks. It has been done in their scenes from the late 1970s to the early 80s. If you want to look the part, this is a must. Simply take the bottom of your pants leg and fold it upward once or twice. To pin-cuff, pull both sides after cuffing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make good friends with the hoodie.\", \"描述\": \"Nearly all emo styles involve in some way or another the good old-friend of the wardrobe: the hooded sweatshirt. It's possible to give that hoodie a distinctively emo flair, however, which doesn't need to take more than a little extra effort to pull off. Most emo hoodies will be black, sometimes featuring band patches or a small amount of white trim.\\nCut a hole for your thumbs in the sleeves of your hoodies. Wear it with your thumbs sticking through to keep yourself warm in the winter months.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Embrace androgyny.\", \"描述\": \"Style is largely similar for emo kids of all genders. The haircuts, dress, and use of make-up tend to cross the genders, resulting in a distinctive and androgynous look.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understanding Emo\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about emo.\", \"描述\": \"To be emo, you need to understand emo; it helps to know your history on the subculture if you're claiming to be part of it. Contrary to mainstream belief, emo does not mean emotional and is a subgenre of hardcore punk and post-hardcore. standing for 'emotive hardcore'. Originating from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s, the first printed use of the term \\\"emo-core\\\" was first said to be used in Thrasher magazine. It describes bands who used a more confessional, self-questioning, and personal approach to lyrical themes as opposed to the confrontational and politically-charged themes of its parent genre. Other facts about emocore include:\\nThe Beach Boys' 1966 album Pet Sounds was labeled \\\"the first emo album\\\" by Treblezine's Ernest Simpson.\\nMinor Threat fan Guy Picciotto despised the heightened violence in the hardcore punk scene, so he formed Rites of Spring, known as the first emo band, in 1984 to turn the focus back to the individual. To add to their legacy, they were only documented performing 15 times in two years before their disbandment in 1986.\\nIn 1980, Ian Mackaye founded the Dischord records label where it signed many Washington D.C hardcore punk bands. Later on, it went onto sign Mackaye and Picciotto's iconic band Fugazi. Fugazi was not emo, drawing in elements of hardcore, funk, and jazz instead, but they did inspire emo bands in the mid-90s to abandon conventional hardcore roots.\\nMinor Threat member Ian Mackaye eventually became a fan/roadie of the band and then created his own; Embrace who followed the same characteristics of Rites of Spring. However, they hated being called 'emo'.\\nRevolution Summer 1985. An attempt deliberately sought by bands like Gray Matter, Beefeater, Dag Nasty, and Soulside to break the limitations of hardcore punk in favor of a fresh idea of creativity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know the subgenres of emo.\", \"描述\": \"Emo did not so much evolve but grew offshoots and subgenres instead. The original emocore sound is still around but as the decades went on, other bands who became part of the scene added and exchanged characteristics. That being said, if you're more into one emo style than another, it doesn't matter because it's still emo. Here are the subgenres of emo:\\nEmocore: short for emotive hardcore, the original style of emo which grew from the Washington D.C hardcore punk scene in the mid-80s with Rites of Spring and Embrace. Other bands followed suit such as Gray Matter and Fire Party, who was termed \\\"the world's first female-fronted emo band\\\".\\nPost-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: emo was reinvented in the 90s, becoming more melodic and mixed with indie rock to create a softer sound. A perfect example of this sound is Sunny Day Real Estate's 1994 album Diary. Midwest emo was popular enough to form a small subculture surrounding the genre, and was more romantic than emo had ever been.\\nEmo Pop: emo-pop is a fusion genre of emo and pop-punk. The genre's characteristics include more concise, hook-filled choruses, high-pitched melodies, and lyrical themes addressing adolescence, relationships, and heartbreak. Pioneers include The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, and Jimmy Eat World, whose single The Middle broke the mainstream in the 00s.\\nScreamo: a misunderstood genre originating from San Diego cafe in California, 1991 with bands like Heroin and Antioch Arrow. The style has more aggressive styled vocals, unconventional song structures, and lyrical themes of human rights, politics, romantic interest, and emotional pain. The genre is incredibly influenced by hardcore punk. Some sub-genres of screamo include Emoviolence, Sasscore, Post-rock/Screamo, Blackened Screamo, and Skramgaze.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Appreciate Emo music.\", \"描述\": \"Start finding emo bands to listen to, and start expanding your music taste. To understand what emo sounds like, try out the most popular and stable albums and bands of the genre:\\nEmocore: Rites of Spring - End on End (1991), Embrace - self titled (1987), Gray Matter - Food for Thought (1990), Dag Nasty - Can I Say (1986), Moss Icon - Lyburnum Wits End Liberation Fly (1994).\\nPost-emo indie rock/Midwest emo: Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary (1994), Texas is the Reason - Do You Know Who You Are? (1996), Christie Front Drive - self-titled (1997), The Promise Ring - 30° Everywhere (1996) and Cap'n Jazz - Analphabetapolothology (1998). Other famous Midwestern emo bands include American Football and Mineral.\\nEmo Pop: The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About (1999), Thursday - Full Collapse (2001), Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (2001), Panic! at the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (2005), You Me At Six - Take Off Your Colours (2008).\\nScreamo: Circle Takes The Square - As The Roots Undo (2004), Touché Amoré – Is Survived By (2013), City of Caterpillar - self-titled (2002), Pg.99 - Document #8 (2001), Funeral Diner - Difference of Potential (2000) and Orchid - Dance Tonight! Revolution Tomorrow! (2000). Antioch Arrow is another popular screamo band.\\nCheck out Sophie's Floorboard blog. You can download emo/screamo/hardcore albums from here, although you must remember that not everything is supposed to be free and if you can find either a physical copy of the files to buy you should.\\nCreate accounts on Last.fm, SoundCloud, SoundClick, Bandcamp, Pandora, YouTube, and other music streaming sites to find more modern and lesser-known emo bands. Make sure that the bands are emo, though, by identifying their characteristics.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell the difference between emo and other subcultures.\", \"描述\": \"Some other subcultures that get confused with emo are scene and goth.\\nEmo is a subculture that is based around music. It has a longer history than scenes and deals with emotions, self-expression, and self-exploration. Being emo means you understand your roots, listen to emo music and participate in the community.\\nScene is a subculture that emerged from members of the chav subculture in England experimenting with alternative fashions. It is a mixture of several styles including emo, indie pop, rave, and punk fashions. Scenes tend to wear brighter colors, and have teased/backcombed hair which may feature \\\"cool tails\\\". Scene kids tend to listen to music genres like metalcore, deathcore, and crunkcore, as opposed to emo kids who listen to emo genres.\\nGoth is a subculture that emerged from the British post-punk scene in the late 70s/early 80s. Goths primarily listen to goth rock, cold wave, deathrock, and darkwave music. Bela Lugosi's Dead, the 1979 single by Bauhaus was said to be the birth of the music genre, and the Batcave, a nightclub opened in 1982, the birth of the subculture.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop a passion for different kinds of music.\", \"描述\": \"Generally speaking, all emo music has two things in common: big, sweeping, extremely melodramatic guitar-based music, either aggressive and harsh or acoustic and gentle, that contain confessional or explicitly personal lyrics, often about heartbreak and loneliness. The Used doesn't sound much like Death Cab for Cutie which doesn't sound anything like Jawbreaker. They're all emo bands. Pick the sounds you like and don't listen to what you don't like.\\nIf you want to dress emo and listen to Sunny Day Real Estate, go for it. If you also have Lady Gaga, Johnny Cash, and Cannibal Ox on your iPod, that doesn't make you any less emo. A real \\\"emo\\\" is someone who listens to emotive hardcore music and genres surrounding it, so as long as you're into emo, you are emo.\\nWhile a guy with dark hair and eyeliner listening to Dashboard Confessional in Columbus, OH might be considered emo by a lot of people, the California blonde who surfs and listens to Dashboard Confessional might consider herself emo as well. Treat this as an opportunity for everyone to appreciate the music as appearance doesn't matter.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look to the bands for tips.\", \"描述\": \"For tips about music, definitions of \\\"emo,\\\" and fashion, check out the guys and gals making the music for advice. See who they listen to, who they're influenced by, what they read, and what they recommend. Learn straight from the source.\\nRead Nothing Feels Good by Andy Greenwald, a book highlighting the history of emo.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Participating in Emo Culture\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to shows.\", \"描述\": \"Originally, emo was a small local scene that attracted national attention. In this way, a movement started that's now global. Get back in touch with that original impulse by hanging around the local shows in your own backyard. It's one thing to go to the Warped Tour and check out the national bands you hear, but it's another to check out and support local emo bands who are trying to get started.\\nVolunteer to help out at all-ages shows and DIY clubs to put on gigs. Hand out fliers and befriend other bands. Check out local zines and participate in the scene.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate a creative persona.\", \"描述\": \"In general, the emo subculture values the arts. Painting, making music, writing, and expressing yourself creatively are all important ways to participate in the emo subculture. Find a way to express yourself and devote your free time to perfecting your art. Write poetry and turn your words into songs. Write reviews of emo music and start a music blog.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider picking up an instrument.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to play music by yourself or in a band would give you huge credibility and would be a fun way to engage with emo more directly. Start writing your own songs and playing your own music and you'll be actively participating in the creative culture.\\nTry playing the bass or guitar, or perhaps even the violin, which sounds amazing in emo songs if you invest enough time in it. The drums might also be a very good instrument because drummers are in regular demand for all sorts of bands.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your own clothes\", \"描述\": \"If emo is punk, then we can assume emo is DIY too. Most original emo bands were very shorted-lived and didn't even put their music onto CDs, never mind make t-shirts. This might be your perfect opportunity to create your own t-shirts, badges, pins, patches, bags, etc with your favorite emo bands on them.\\n\\nDecorate your converse. Personalize your converse/Vans with band logos or doodles. Show your creativity, but just be mindful of what you write on there and be careful of mistakes (if it's a permanent marker, it won't come off).\\nAdded patches and pins onto your messenger bag. This is a perfect chance to showcase your favorite emo bands by making pins and attaching them to your bag. Stick clay or blue-tack on the bag if you're worried about them falling off.\\nFind a good website to design your own t-shirt, just make sure that you won't get in legal trouble for this. Check all terms and conditions before attempting to print any sort of logo that may be copyrighted.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn your terms and that emo isn't subjective. If you decide that \\\"emo\\\" is suddenly Twenty One Pilots because of their sad lyrical themes, someone else can decide that Nine Inch Nails are punk because they're loud and use fast dynamics. There's a history behind these terms, and you have to learn about them rather than trying to make up your own definition.[28]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Subcultures are based on unifying aspects and terms, so erasing them or making up your own doesn't make sense. This happens in the goth subculture a lot, but it stands for emo, too.[29]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't become emo unless it's your true self. Find your own style and expand it.\\n\", \"Ideally, music is the most important part of emo, and fashion, at the end of the day, isn't something to worry about. Wear emo fashion if you want, but remember that it is the music that makes you emo, not the skinny jeans.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Emo is absolutely not about cutting yourself, anger or depression. It will not make you more emo. Emo doesn't mean self-harm; it means self-expression. If you or someone you love is in a crisis, reach out to a suicide hotline such as 1-800-SUICIDE\\n\", \"Really look after your hair. Dying, bleaching, teasing, using straighteners without heat protection, and washing it too much can all have long term damaging effects on your hair. It's recommended that you use deep-conditioning treatments frequently. Do not straighten your hair every day, or you will fry it; on off days, try wearing a snapback or beanie to hide messy hair.\\n\", \"Note that metalcore and deathcore bands are not 'emo', but it doesn't stop you from listening to them and wearing their merchandise if you wish. Just refrain from mislabelling them either \\\"emo\\\" or \\\"screamo\\\" if it's not the correct term (use a credible source such as Discogs or isthisbandemo.com).\\n\", \"Contrary to mainstream belief, screamo is a real genre of music and isn't any band that uses the screaming vocal technique. Screamo is also not any metalcore or deathcore band such as As I Lay Dying or Asking Alexandria; it is its own separate genre.\\n\", \"Some people (mostly online) will harass you for your style.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,697 | How to Be Emotionally Detached | 1. Coping with Feelings
1-1. Explore the reasons for your strong emotional reactions.
In order to better detach yourself, you should be aware of the reason for your strong reaction. Three reasons why you may be feeling emotional are:
you are being highly sensitive
the situation is triggering a painful past event
you are feeling a loss of control over the situation, which can provoke a lot of anger and frustration.
1-2. Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy detachment.
It is natural and normal to want to emotionally detach sometimes, especially if the emotion is too painful or overwhelming to fully deal with at the current time. However, extreme emotional detachment from others is associated with psychopathy, where individuals commit crimes against others without remorse. Extreme emotional disassociation can also be the result of experiencing trauma.
If you want to detach sometimes due to intense emotions, that is perfectly healthy. We may not always be in the place to cope with strong emotions. However, if you find yourself isolating from others constantly or being emotionally numb (not feeling emotions), you could suffer from a larger psychological concern.
Some signs you may need therapy or treatment include: social isolation, avoidance of social activities, intense fear of rejection, recurrent depressed or anxious mood, difficulty completing work (school or occupational duties), and frequent social conflict or physical fights with others.
1-3. Accept your emotional state.
Paradoxically, if we accept our emotions as valid and normal, we can be better at detaching from them when we need a break. Oftentimes, we may want to push our emotions away because they do not feel good. However, these emotions give us valuable information about our situation and our perceptions. Similar to physical pain, negative feelings (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) are your brain's way of alerting you that there is a problem.
The next time you have a painful emotion such as anger, think to yourself, “I am angry because _____. This anger gives me good information about how I am reacting to this situation and will help me decide how I should deal with it. It is okay to feel angry.” The anger itself is not the issue, it is what you do with the anger you feel. You can choose to ignore it and stuff it down, but this could end up making it come back even more powerfully the next time.
If you accept your emotion, and find a healthy way of coping with it, then it loses its power over you and you can healthily detach from it when you need to.
In the moment, try shifting focus, as well as deep breathing to activate the body's calming response. The first is a cognitive process associated with decreased anxiety, and the second is a physical action one can take to initiate the body's calming response.
You can also cope by taking a nap, doing an art project, taking a walk, getting a massage, hanging out with a pet, drinking tea, listening to music, and even kissing your significant other.
1-4. Express your feelings in a safe place.
Giving yourself the space to feel your emotions in a safe way is integral to being able to detach when you need to. Set a time each day to feel your feelings.
Practice crying alone. Crying in front of the one who is harassing you will only provoke them to taunt you more or continue with their harassment. Breathing deeply and thinking of something other than the situation may prevent you from fully processing the situation and ultimately prevent you from crying. However, it is not healthy to keep that sadness in. Try your best to wait until the situation has ended and for the antagonist to leave the room before you begin to cry.
1-5. Write down your feelings and thoughts.
Just as it is unhealthy to keep from crying, it is also unhealthy to keep anger, confusion, and other negative emotions inside. Putting those feelings and thoughts on paper or on the computer can help you process and deal with difficult emotions so that you can detach when you feel the need.
Write down how you feel in a secret journal or diary.
To avoid ruminating on your negative thoughts, try identifying alternative ways of thinking about or looking at the situation. For example, if your negative thought is, "This person is such a jerk!" Perhaps you can also write down, "However, this individual may have had a difficult life and is being this way to cope with anger or sadness." A little empathy can go a long way in helping you cope with difficult people and situations.
1-6. Distract yourself.
Think about or do something else. Do not simply ignore the feeling or situation. If you try to stop thinking about something, you may just end up thinking about it more. This is called the white-bear phenomenon, where subjects in a research study were told not to think about a white bear; and of course that is all they could think about. Instead of focusing on avoiding thinking about what is making you upset, try to think about something else instead.
Try distraction activities like: gardening, playing a game, watching a movie, reading a magazine, playing an instrument, painting, drawing, cooking, or talking to a friend.
1-7. Take action physically.
Go for a walk, a bike ride or any other cardiovascular activity. Aerobic activity is proven to boost endorphins and will help you be in a better position to monitor and change your reactions to emotional predators. Exercise can also be a great distracting or grounding technique.
Consider the following physical activities: hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, dancing, kickboxing, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, push-ups, sit-ups, sports, running, and walking.
2. Focusing on Yourself
2-1. Self-reflect.
One way to healthfully detach is to focus on observing yourself like an outsider, from an objective stance. This is sometimes called the “third eye,” where you have an additional vision of yourself from the outside.
When you are alone, simply observe how you are feeling and thinking. Ask yourself, “How am I doing today? What am I thinking about?”
You can also work on observing yourself in social situations. Pay attention to what you say, do, how you act, and what emotions you express.
2-2. Validate yourself.
Self-validation is an important component of learning how to distance yourself emotionally. Validation means confirming that how you are thinking or feeling is reasonable.
You can use positive self-talk. Say to yourself, “It is okay and natural to feel how I am feeling. Even if I don’t want to show it, I am allowed to feel this way.”
2-3. Set emotional boundaries.
Setting emotional boundaries is about putting your needs first by setting limits on what you will tolerate from others. If you can, disengage from individuals who irritate or upset you, such as particular coworkers or neighbors.
Try setting boundaries by telling individuals directly how you feel, and what you would like them to do. For example, if your brother teases you, you could say, “I feel angry when you tease me like that. I would appreciate it if you stop.” It may also be helpful to identify the consequences of breaking this boundary such as, “If you don’t stop, I might not want to continue to be around you.” Here, you calmly discuss your anger without blowing up.
3. Using Techniques to Detach
3-1. Use your wise mind.
According to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), a prominent therapy modality that helps teach individuals distress tolerance, we have an emotional mind and a rational mind. Our wise mind is a mix of both emotions and rational thought. The key to detaching or distancing yourself from emotional pain for a period of time is to use your wise mind – the perfect balance between the logical part and emotional part of your brain. Instead of only reacting emotionally, attempt to think rationally about the situation.
Acknowledge your feelings by saying, "Emotions are natural. Even strong emotions pass. I can work out why I had such a strong reaction after I get myself calm."
Ask yourself, "Is this going to matter in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? How much does this actually affect my life?"
Ask yourself if your thought is fact or fiction. What is the bigger picture?
3-2. Maintain emotional distance through mindfulness.
Creating emotional distance is useful if you need to be empathic toward someone, but do not want to be overwhelmed or overly affected by the person's emotions. Mindfulness can be a useful technique in achieving a level of empathy that includes a level of distance that reduces the possibility of being flooded by the other person's emotions.
Try eating a piece of food mindfully (raisin, candy, apple, etc). First focus on what it looks like, its color and shape. Then notice how it feels in your hands, its texture and temperature. Finally, eat a small piece of the food slowly and notice how it tastes, and feels when you are eating it. Pay close attention to this experience.
Go on a mindfulness walk. Try walking for 20 minutes or so. Simply focus on your walking, and what is going on around you. How does the air feel? Is it hot, cold, windy, calm? What sounds do you hear? Are there birds chirping, people talking, or car alarms going off? How does it feel to move your body? What do you see? Are there trees swaying in the wind, or animals moving about?
Bring your focus back to the present moment instead of being caught up in your thoughts and feelings or other personal reactions. Mindfulness requires concentration on the present moment, awareness of your own reactions, acceptance and letting go of painful thoughts and emotions, and thinking of thoughts as ideas instead of truths.
3-3. Take deep breaths.
If you are stressed out, your body naturally tenses and sends your thoughts racing. Breathe deep and slow to avoid a lack of oxygen that can add to the problem.
Place yourself in a comfortable position and practice breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus deeply on your breathing and how it feels throughout your body to inhale and exhale. Make sure you are breathing from your diaphragm; this means that you should feel your stomach move fully in and out as you breathe. It should feel like you are filling up a balloon and releasing it every time you breathe. Do this for at least 5 minutes.
3-4. Use grounding exercises.
Grounding is perfect for emotional detachment because it involves techniques specifically for distancing yourself from emotional pain.
Try the following grounding techniques: count to 100 in your head, count imaginary sheep, count the number of things in the room, think of the names of all the United States, or name all of the colors you can think of. Try anything logical and unemotional that will take your mind off the situation.
3-5. Keep up the habit.
Eventually, your mind will learn to store things away and you'll go into thinking of logical and unemotional things naturally. The more you practice, the better you will be at detaching from painful emotions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping with Feelings\\n1-1. Explore the reasons for your strong emotional reactions.\\nIn order to better detach yourself, you should be aware of the reason for your strong reaction. Three reasons why you may be feeling emotional are:\\nyou are being highly sensitive\\nthe situation is triggering a painful past event\\nyou are feeling a loss of control over the situation, which can provoke a lot of anger and frustration.\\n1-2. Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy detachment.\\nIt is natural and normal to want to emotionally detach sometimes, especially if the emotion is too painful or overwhelming to fully deal with at the current time. However, extreme emotional detachment from others is associated with psychopathy, where individuals commit crimes against others without remorse. Extreme emotional disassociation can also be the result of experiencing trauma.\\nIf you want to detach sometimes due to intense emotions, that is perfectly healthy. We may not always be in the place to cope with strong emotions. However, if you find yourself isolating from others constantly or being emotionally numb (not feeling emotions), you could suffer from a larger psychological concern.\\nSome signs you may need therapy or treatment include: social isolation, avoidance of social activities, intense fear of rejection, recurrent depressed or anxious mood, difficulty completing work (school or occupational duties), and frequent social conflict or physical fights with others.\\n1-3. Accept your emotional state.\\nParadoxically, if we accept our emotions as valid and normal, we can be better at detaching from them when we need a break. Oftentimes, we may want to push our emotions away because they do not feel good. However, these emotions give us valuable information about our situation and our perceptions. Similar to physical pain, negative feelings (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) are your brain's way of alerting you that there is a problem.\\nThe next time you have a painful emotion such as anger, think to yourself, “I am angry because _____. This anger gives me good information about how I am reacting to this situation and will help me decide how I should deal with it. It is okay to feel angry.” The anger itself is not the issue, it is what you do with the anger you feel. You can choose to ignore it and stuff it down, but this could end up making it come back even more powerfully the next time.\\nIf you accept your emotion, and find a healthy way of coping with it, then it loses its power over you and you can healthily detach from it when you need to.\\nIn the moment, try shifting focus, as well as deep breathing to activate the body's calming response. The first is a cognitive process associated with decreased anxiety, and the second is a physical action one can take to initiate the body's calming response.\\nYou can also cope by taking a nap, doing an art project, taking a walk, getting a massage, hanging out with a pet, drinking tea, listening to music, and even kissing your significant other.\\n1-4. Express your feelings in a safe place.\\nGiving yourself the space to feel your emotions in a safe way is integral to being able to detach when you need to. Set a time each day to feel your feelings.\\nPractice crying alone. Crying in front of the one who is harassing you will only provoke them to taunt you more or continue with their harassment. Breathing deeply and thinking of something other than the situation may prevent you from fully processing the situation and ultimately prevent you from crying. However, it is not healthy to keep that sadness in. Try your best to wait until the situation has ended and for the antagonist to leave the room before you begin to cry.\\n1-5. Write down your feelings and thoughts.\\nJust as it is unhealthy to keep from crying, it is also unhealthy to keep anger, confusion, and other negative emotions inside. Putting those feelings and thoughts on paper or on the computer can help you process and deal with difficult emotions so that you can detach when you feel the need.\\nWrite down how you feel in a secret journal or diary.\\nTo avoid ruminating on your negative thoughts, try identifying alternative ways of thinking about or looking at the situation. For example, if your negative thought is, \\\"This person is such a jerk!\\\" Perhaps you can also write down, \\\"However, this individual may have had a difficult life and is being this way to cope with anger or sadness.\\\" A little empathy can go a long way in helping you cope with difficult people and situations.\\n1-6. Distract yourself.\\nThink about or do something else. Do not simply ignore the feeling or situation. If you try to stop thinking about something, you may just end up thinking about it more. This is called the white-bear phenomenon, where subjects in a research study were told not to think about a white bear; and of course that is all they could think about. Instead of focusing on avoiding thinking about what is making you upset, try to think about something else instead.\\nTry distraction activities like: gardening, playing a game, watching a movie, reading a magazine, playing an instrument, painting, drawing, cooking, or talking to a friend.\\n1-7. Take action physically.\\nGo for a walk, a bike ride or any other cardiovascular activity. Aerobic activity is proven to boost endorphins and will help you be in a better position to monitor and change your reactions to emotional predators. Exercise can also be a great distracting or grounding technique.\\nConsider the following physical activities: hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, dancing, kickboxing, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, push-ups, sit-ups, sports, running, and walking.\\n2. Focusing on Yourself\\n2-1. Self-reflect.\\nOne way to healthfully detach is to focus on observing yourself like an outsider, from an objective stance. This is sometimes called the “third eye,” where you have an additional vision of yourself from the outside.\\nWhen you are alone, simply observe how you are feeling and thinking. Ask yourself, “How am I doing today? What am I thinking about?”\\nYou can also work on observing yourself in social situations. Pay attention to what you say, do, how you act, and what emotions you express.\\n2-2. Validate yourself.\\nSelf-validation is an important component of learning how to distance yourself emotionally. Validation means confirming that how you are thinking or feeling is reasonable.\\nYou can use positive self-talk. Say to yourself, “It is okay and natural to feel how I am feeling. Even if I don’t want to show it, I am allowed to feel this way.”\\n2-3. Set emotional boundaries.\\nSetting emotional boundaries is about putting your needs first by setting limits on what you will tolerate from others. If you can, disengage from individuals who irritate or upset you, such as particular coworkers or neighbors.\\nTry setting boundaries by telling individuals directly how you feel, and what you would like them to do. For example, if your brother teases you, you could say, “I feel angry when you tease me like that. I would appreciate it if you stop.” It may also be helpful to identify the consequences of breaking this boundary such as, “If you don’t stop, I might not want to continue to be around you.” Here, you calmly discuss your anger without blowing up.\\n3. Using Techniques to Detach\\n3-1. Use your wise mind.\\nAccording to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), a prominent therapy modality that helps teach individuals distress tolerance, we have an emotional mind and a rational mind. Our wise mind is a mix of both emotions and rational thought. The key to detaching or distancing yourself from emotional pain for a period of time is to use your wise mind – the perfect balance between the logical part and emotional part of your brain. Instead of only reacting emotionally, attempt to think rationally about the situation.\\nAcknowledge your feelings by saying, \\\"Emotions are natural. Even strong emotions pass. I can work out why I had such a strong reaction after I get myself calm.\\\"\\nAsk yourself, \\\"Is this going to matter in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? How much does this actually affect my life?\\\"\\nAsk yourself if your thought is fact or fiction. What is the bigger picture?\\n3-2. Maintain emotional distance through mindfulness.\\nCreating emotional distance is useful if you need to be empathic toward someone, but do not want to be overwhelmed or overly affected by the person's emotions. Mindfulness can be a useful technique in achieving a level of empathy that includes a level of distance that reduces the possibility of being flooded by the other person's emotions.\\nTry eating a piece of food mindfully (raisin, candy, apple, etc). First focus on what it looks like, its color and shape. Then notice how it feels in your hands, its texture and temperature. Finally, eat a small piece of the food slowly and notice how it tastes, and feels when you are eating it. Pay close attention to this experience.\\nGo on a mindfulness walk. Try walking for 20 minutes or so. Simply focus on your walking, and what is going on around you. How does the air feel? Is it hot, cold, windy, calm? What sounds do you hear? Are there birds chirping, people talking, or car alarms going off? How does it feel to move your body? What do you see? Are there trees swaying in the wind, or animals moving about?\\nBring your focus back to the present moment instead of being caught up in your thoughts and feelings or other personal reactions. Mindfulness requires concentration on the present moment, awareness of your own reactions, acceptance and letting go of painful thoughts and emotions, and thinking of thoughts as ideas instead of truths.\\n3-3. Take deep breaths.\\nIf you are stressed out, your body naturally tenses and sends your thoughts racing. Breathe deep and slow to avoid a lack of oxygen that can add to the problem.\\nPlace yourself in a comfortable position and practice breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus deeply on your breathing and how it feels throughout your body to inhale and exhale. Make sure you are breathing from your diaphragm; this means that you should feel your stomach move fully in and out as you breathe. It should feel like you are filling up a balloon and releasing it every time you breathe. Do this for at least 5 minutes.\\n3-4. Use grounding exercises.\\nGrounding is perfect for emotional detachment because it involves techniques specifically for distancing yourself from emotional pain.\\nTry the following grounding techniques: count to 100 in your head, count imaginary sheep, count the number of things in the room, think of the names of all the United States, or name all of the colors you can think of. Try anything logical and unemotional that will take your mind off the situation.\\n3-5. Keep up the habit.\\nEventually, your mind will learn to store things away and you'll go into thinking of logical and unemotional things naturally. The more you practice, the better you will be at detaching from painful emotions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it is healthy to detach from emotional pain if it is too intense or overwhelming in that moment, if it could be dangerous (could lead to harming yourself, or using a dangerous drug), if the timing is not right (if you are at work or school or in an unsafe place), or if you do not feel comfortable expressing emotion in your current situation (i.e. if you are around certain individuals that you do not trust to share your feelings with). In order to healthily detach from strong emotions, you may benefit from learning to cope with difficult emotions, paying attention to yourself and your own needs, and practicing techniques for successful emotional detachment.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping with Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explore the reasons for your strong emotional reactions.\", \"描述\": \"In order to better detach yourself, you should be aware of the reason for your strong reaction. Three reasons why you may be feeling emotional are:\\nyou are being highly sensitive\\nthe situation is triggering a painful past event\\nyou are feeling a loss of control over the situation, which can provoke a lot of anger and frustration.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy detachment.\", \"描述\": \"It is natural and normal to want to emotionally detach sometimes, especially if the emotion is too painful or overwhelming to fully deal with at the current time. However, extreme emotional detachment from others is associated with psychopathy, where individuals commit crimes against others without remorse. Extreme emotional disassociation can also be the result of experiencing trauma.\\nIf you want to detach sometimes due to intense emotions, that is perfectly healthy. We may not always be in the place to cope with strong emotions. However, if you find yourself isolating from others constantly or being emotionally numb (not feeling emotions), you could suffer from a larger psychological concern.\\nSome signs you may need therapy or treatment include: social isolation, avoidance of social activities, intense fear of rejection, recurrent depressed or anxious mood, difficulty completing work (school or occupational duties), and frequent social conflict or physical fights with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept your emotional state.\", \"描述\": \"Paradoxically, if we accept our emotions as valid and normal, we can be better at detaching from them when we need a break. Oftentimes, we may want to push our emotions away because they do not feel good. However, these emotions give us valuable information about our situation and our perceptions. Similar to physical pain, negative feelings (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) are your brain's way of alerting you that there is a problem.\\nThe next time you have a painful emotion such as anger, think to yourself, “I am angry because _____. This anger gives me good information about how I am reacting to this situation and will help me decide how I should deal with it. It is okay to feel angry.” The anger itself is not the issue, it is what you do with the anger you feel. You can choose to ignore it and stuff it down, but this could end up making it come back even more powerfully the next time.\\nIf you accept your emotion, and find a healthy way of coping with it, then it loses its power over you and you can healthily detach from it when you need to.\\nIn the moment, try shifting focus, as well as deep breathing to activate the body's calming response. The first is a cognitive process associated with decreased anxiety, and the second is a physical action one can take to initiate the body's calming response.\\nYou can also cope by taking a nap, doing an art project, taking a walk, getting a massage, hanging out with a pet, drinking tea, listening to music, and even kissing your significant other.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express your feelings in a safe place.\", \"描述\": \"Giving yourself the space to feel your emotions in a safe way is integral to being able to detach when you need to. Set a time each day to feel your feelings.\\nPractice crying alone. Crying in front of the one who is harassing you will only provoke them to taunt you more or continue with their harassment. Breathing deeply and thinking of something other than the situation may prevent you from fully processing the situation and ultimately prevent you from crying. However, it is not healthy to keep that sadness in. Try your best to wait until the situation has ended and for the antagonist to leave the room before you begin to cry.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write down your feelings and thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Just as it is unhealthy to keep from crying, it is also unhealthy to keep anger, confusion, and other negative emotions inside. Putting those feelings and thoughts on paper or on the computer can help you process and deal with difficult emotions so that you can detach when you feel the need.\\nWrite down how you feel in a secret journal or diary.\\nTo avoid ruminating on your negative thoughts, try identifying alternative ways of thinking about or looking at the situation. For example, if your negative thought is, \\\"This person is such a jerk!\\\" Perhaps you can also write down, \\\"However, this individual may have had a difficult life and is being this way to cope with anger or sadness.\\\" A little empathy can go a long way in helping you cope with difficult people and situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Distract yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Think about or do something else. Do not simply ignore the feeling or situation. If you try to stop thinking about something, you may just end up thinking about it more. This is called the white-bear phenomenon, where subjects in a research study were told not to think about a white bear; and of course that is all they could think about. Instead of focusing on avoiding thinking about what is making you upset, try to think about something else instead.\\nTry distraction activities like: gardening, playing a game, watching a movie, reading a magazine, playing an instrument, painting, drawing, cooking, or talking to a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take action physically.\", \"描述\": \"Go for a walk, a bike ride or any other cardiovascular activity. Aerobic activity is proven to boost endorphins and will help you be in a better position to monitor and change your reactions to emotional predators. Exercise can also be a great distracting or grounding technique.\\nConsider the following physical activities: hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, dancing, kickboxing, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, push-ups, sit-ups, sports, running, and walking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focusing on Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Self-reflect.\", \"描述\": \"One way to healthfully detach is to focus on observing yourself like an outsider, from an objective stance. This is sometimes called the “third eye,” where you have an additional vision of yourself from the outside.\\nWhen you are alone, simply observe how you are feeling and thinking. Ask yourself, “How am I doing today? What am I thinking about?”\\nYou can also work on observing yourself in social situations. Pay attention to what you say, do, how you act, and what emotions you express.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Validate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Self-validation is an important component of learning how to distance yourself emotionally. Validation means confirming that how you are thinking or feeling is reasonable.\\nYou can use positive self-talk. Say to yourself, “It is okay and natural to feel how I am feeling. Even if I don’t want to show it, I am allowed to feel this way.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set emotional boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Setting emotional boundaries is about putting your needs first by setting limits on what you will tolerate from others. If you can, disengage from individuals who irritate or upset you, such as particular coworkers or neighbors.\\nTry setting boundaries by telling individuals directly how you feel, and what you would like them to do. For example, if your brother teases you, you could say, “I feel angry when you tease me like that. I would appreciate it if you stop.” It may also be helpful to identify the consequences of breaking this boundary such as, “If you don’t stop, I might not want to continue to be around you.” Here, you calmly discuss your anger without blowing up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Techniques to Detach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use your wise mind.\", \"描述\": \"According to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), a prominent therapy modality that helps teach individuals distress tolerance, we have an emotional mind and a rational mind. Our wise mind is a mix of both emotions and rational thought. The key to detaching or distancing yourself from emotional pain for a period of time is to use your wise mind – the perfect balance between the logical part and emotional part of your brain. Instead of only reacting emotionally, attempt to think rationally about the situation.\\nAcknowledge your feelings by saying, \\\"Emotions are natural. Even strong emotions pass. I can work out why I had such a strong reaction after I get myself calm.\\\"\\nAsk yourself, \\\"Is this going to matter in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? How much does this actually affect my life?\\\"\\nAsk yourself if your thought is fact or fiction. What is the bigger picture?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain emotional distance through mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Creating emotional distance is useful if you need to be empathic toward someone, but do not want to be overwhelmed or overly affected by the person's emotions. Mindfulness can be a useful technique in achieving a level of empathy that includes a level of distance that reduces the possibility of being flooded by the other person's emotions.\\nTry eating a piece of food mindfully (raisin, candy, apple, etc). First focus on what it looks like, its color and shape. Then notice how it feels in your hands, its texture and temperature. Finally, eat a small piece of the food slowly and notice how it tastes, and feels when you are eating it. Pay close attention to this experience.\\nGo on a mindfulness walk. Try walking for 20 minutes or so. Simply focus on your walking, and what is going on around you. How does the air feel? Is it hot, cold, windy, calm? What sounds do you hear? Are there birds chirping, people talking, or car alarms going off? How does it feel to move your body? What do you see? Are there trees swaying in the wind, or animals moving about?\\nBring your focus back to the present moment instead of being caught up in your thoughts and feelings or other personal reactions. Mindfulness requires concentration on the present moment, awareness of your own reactions, acceptance and letting go of painful thoughts and emotions, and thinking of thoughts as ideas instead of truths.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take deep breaths.\", \"描述\": \"If you are stressed out, your body naturally tenses and sends your thoughts racing. Breathe deep and slow to avoid a lack of oxygen that can add to the problem.\\nPlace yourself in a comfortable position and practice breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus deeply on your breathing and how it feels throughout your body to inhale and exhale. Make sure you are breathing from your diaphragm; this means that you should feel your stomach move fully in and out as you breathe. It should feel like you are filling up a balloon and releasing it every time you breathe. Do this for at least 5 minutes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use grounding exercises.\", \"描述\": \"Grounding is perfect for emotional detachment because it involves techniques specifically for distancing yourself from emotional pain.\\nTry the following grounding techniques: count to 100 in your head, count imaginary sheep, count the number of things in the room, think of the names of all the United States, or name all of the colors you can think of. Try anything logical and unemotional that will take your mind off the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep up the habit.\", \"描述\": \"Eventually, your mind will learn to store things away and you'll go into thinking of logical and unemotional things naturally. The more you practice, the better you will be at detaching from painful emotions.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,698 | How to Be Emotionally Independent | 1. Accepting Yourself
1-1. Identify the benefits of self-acceptance.
The primary purpose of self-acceptance is to learn healthy techniques that will help you to heal and allow you to let go of unpleasant memories and traumas. The ideal goal is for you to have healthier interactions in your present life. Other benefits of practicing self-acceptance include:
More self-confidence
Decreased anxiety and depression
Less self-criticism and guilt
Increased awareness of yourself
Increased self-worth
Improved sense of inner peace
1-2. Reflect on the reasons you are judging yourself.
Take some time to yourself to figure out why you are having a hard time accepting yourself. Try meditating, journaling, or just sitting in a quiet place for a while and thinking about your reasons for judging yourself. Try to identify whose voice you are hearing when you judge yourself as well. For example, do you hear your parents, your partner, your friends, or someone else?
1-3. Reframe the past.
Let's take parents: most of them aren't that great. Are they not that great because they don't love us or we don't deserve affection? No. Though as children, that's hard to see. They're not that great because they have no idea what they're doing – they're trying, but they're only human. Instead of blaming them (or an ex, for example) for your pain, reframe it. See that they don't deserve anger, hate, or resentment. At worst they deserve pity; at best, compassion.
Whether you're 7 or 70, you've probably had relationships that have left you a little worse for the wear. You might have a tendency to take every failure/argument/disappointment/rejection personally and tally it up in your own mental notebook, coming up with a number to equate to just how valuable you are. That has to stop immediately. The past is in the past and it's going to stay there. It has little significance.
Learn how to carve out time for yourself within the context of a relationship, by developing your own interests and hobbies and regularly spending time with your friends and family. This will help you to remain independent in your relationship in a way that's healthy for you and your partner.
1-4. Forgive and forget.
This is an integral step in the accepting yourself and reframing the past idea. When you don't hold grudges and stop taking things personally, you're left with an organic, untainted version of you – an emotionally independent and resilient you. And you'll be happier, too!
The next time you catch yourself being upset with someone, realize that it has nothing to do with you. It's them making their own decisions, and you have no control over that, which is fine. This is one trivial moment in the scheme of your life that in short order will be completely forgotten about.
That being said, this doesn't mean that some people should be let off the hook. Forgive them, forget the behavior, but modify your expectations. Was your friend an hour late to your lunch date? Noted. Next time (if there is a next time), you'll know how to handle it.
1-5. Spend time with yourself.
When's the last time you had some free time to kill and didn't whip out your phone or otherwise distract yourself? You're constantly bombarded with stimuli, which ultimately prevents introspection and getting to know yourself. Starting now, take 20 minutes or so a day for some "me-time." Who's better company than you, anyway?
In this time, watch your mind wander. Where does it go to? How does it think? Take note of just how fascinating this thing inside your head really is. What can you learn about yourself?
1-6. Know who you are.
Kind of like asking an ant to look in a mirror and say, "I'm an ant," isn't it? Well, in addition to the steps above and below, there are a few sticking points that apply to everyone:
You are just as worthy as everyone else you know. There are not "better" humans; we all have good and bad qualities.
You have talents and interests. What are they?
You have thoughts and opinions. You have things you like and dislike. What are those?
You have values. You have beliefs. What things/concepts/ideas do you hold as true?
2. Changing Your Thinking
2-1. Test yourself.
There are a handful of ways one can be emotionally dependent. The most common way is in a romantic relationship. We learn to depend on our significant other for affection, sex, approval, you name it. When it doesn't come, we feel we've done something wrong or we're somehow less valuable. How are you emotionally dependent? Romantically? With friends? Coworkers or your boss? With every person you meet? Think about a few of the following things to pinpoint what areas you need to work on:
Do you get jealous easily? Do you compare yourself to others so much that it can ruin your day?
Do people often fail to meet your expectations? Who does this most often?
When you're alone, do you seek out others just to feel okay? Does a void spring up when you're not with others?
Does your partner or the idea of a partner mean happiness to you?
2-2. Take responsibility.
When we blame others, they're at fault. Therefore, they become the only ones who can fix the problem. Terrible. In order to take control of your thinking and emotions, you've got to take responsibility.
This forces you to become reliant on yourself for a solution. Instead of wallowing in misery, you think about what options you have at your disposal to improve the situation. This gets rid of those negative emotions that well up, too, forcing you to be more logical and feel more in control.
2-3. Stop and reflect the next time you get offended.
Just for a moment. Why get all worked up? This is just a person who is passing judgment and criticism. It is not the end of the world, nor is it even particularly remarkable, likely. Everyone does it. Why give them the satisfaction of caring? It's just not worth it.
Remind yourself that you don't have to react the way you feel inclined to. It may seem as if the natural, human way to respond is by being upset, but that's hardly your only option. You could be angry, you could be sad – or you could note it and move on. After all, there's no benefit to being angry or sad, is there? What'll it get you?
2-4. Realize that happiness is only inside you.
Quite literally. Serotonin and dopamine are what you really enjoy. If you wanted to condition yourself to feel ecstatic at the sight of brown carpet, you could. Brains are funny little creatures like that. In other words, you decide what makes you happy and it has nothing to do with the outside world. It comes from within – you can't find it out there.
In case it wasn't clear, this is very, very, very good news. You have control over all your feelings! You are at the whim of no one! Every emotion you want to feel, you can. Every emotion you don't want to feel, you don't have to. Happiness is just a decision away.
2-5. Do your best not to overcompensate.
There is a fine line between being emotionally independent, and well, a jerk. Some people get so caught up in "being true to them" that they step all over others in an effort to assert themselves. Keep in mind that this is not an excuse to be a bully and to always get your way. You can be kind and considerate while still being true to you.
Most people who stomp all over others are trying to thwart their inner feelings of inadequacy or unimportance. They don't feel of any value on the inside, so they force their "value" on others in an effort to convince themselves. This isn't being emotionally independent – it's straight up being rude.
3. Living Independently
3-1. Decide for yourself.
The next time your friends are sitting around the table badmouthing the latest movie or complaining about pseudo-liberals or even gossiping about a friend, instead of letting them shape your opinions, decide for yourself. How do you feel? Why should their opinions have any weight on yours?
Try this in tiny ways, too. The next time you want to check out a cafe or a movie or a shop, etc., and you've heard pretty mediocre things, go anyway if that’s what you want to do! Other people sometimes just don't know what they're talking about.
When you have decided for yourself, work up to speaking out about it. It's possible other people feel similarly but are too shy to say anything! You may also bring up a good point that no one else considered.
3-2. Say "no."
Not only do you not want to partake in this activity, but it's totally fine if you don't live up to others' expectations because it doesn't bother you. Listen to your gut – it's often right.
There's a fine line here, however. Should you skip your best friend's wedding because you don't feel like it? Probably not. Should you avoid the mandatory work meeting because you're feeling lazy? Nope. In other words, know how to pick your battles.
3-3. Learn to fix your own problems.
Nowadays, we live in cultures of millions. We have so many resources at our disposal that we don't have to do a thing ourselves. We get our cars fixed, our plumbing fixed, our computers fixed, our health fixed – the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, that takes away from our resourcefulness and our sense of responsibility. In order to not depend on others, we've got to fix our own problems.
So the next time you're feeling down in the dumps, take it on your own shoulders to do something about it. Spend the night doing something you really enjoy, treat yourself to retail therapy, or, heck, just relax. When you're successful, this can show you that you have the power to make everything better, not other people.
3-4. Expect little from others.
There's a line from a James Bond theme that says, "Arm yourself because no one else will save you." It's a little cynical, but the idea is true: we're all humans and at the end of the day, we have to be selfish and put ourselves first to be happy. Everyone else does it, so you can, too – without feeling any guilt.
Keeping this in mind can help you from getting your hopes up and then being let down. When you have few expectations of people, it's easier for others to meet them. And it'll be easier to notice who still struggles meeting your lack of expectation and who consistently rises to the top.
3-5. Hang out with different groups of people.
When our entire lives revolve around a small group of people, it's hard not to think that their opinions couldn't move mountains. To widen your world and take the importance off their opinions, hang out with more people! Having a wide social network is good in fair and foul weather, too.
All humans have to attach themselves to things. It can stink, because it means our emotions are at the whim of other people and other things. The key here is to not overattach yourself. It's a fine line that only you can find. The best way to do this is to spread yourself between different people and divvy up your time accordingly.
3-6. Do your own thing.
This is what it comes down to: you are your own person and therefore you're going to do your own thing, whatever that means. When you find who you are and stick to it, no one can stop that inner sense of happiness that'll prevail as a result.
People who genuinely stick to who they are a rare breed. It shouldn't cause judgement – it should inspire. People will see that you are your own fountain of happiness and wish they were the same! While some won't be able to handle it, they're not the ones you want to be around anyway!.
Tips
Consider your past mistakes as learning experiences. Do your best to avoid making the same mistakes again.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Yourself\\n1-1. Identify the benefits of self-acceptance.\\nThe primary purpose of self-acceptance is to learn healthy techniques that will help you to heal and allow you to let go of unpleasant memories and traumas. The ideal goal is for you to have healthier interactions in your present life. Other benefits of practicing self-acceptance include:\\nMore self-confidence\\nDecreased anxiety and depression\\nLess self-criticism and guilt\\nIncreased awareness of yourself\\nIncreased self-worth\\nImproved sense of inner peace\\n1-2. Reflect on the reasons you are judging yourself.\\nTake some time to yourself to figure out why you are having a hard time accepting yourself. Try meditating, journaling, or just sitting in a quiet place for a while and thinking about your reasons for judging yourself. Try to identify whose voice you are hearing when you judge yourself as well. For example, do you hear your parents, your partner, your friends, or someone else?\\n1-3. Reframe the past.\\nLet's take parents: most of them aren't that great. Are they not that great because they don't love us or we don't deserve affection? No. Though as children, that's hard to see. They're not that great because they have no idea what they're doing – they're trying, but they're only human. Instead of blaming them (or an ex, for example) for your pain, reframe it. See that they don't deserve anger, hate, or resentment. At worst they deserve pity; at best, compassion.\\nWhether you're 7 or 70, you've probably had relationships that have left you a little worse for the wear. You might have a tendency to take every failure/argument/disappointment/rejection personally and tally it up in your own mental notebook, coming up with a number to equate to just how valuable you are. That has to stop immediately. The past is in the past and it's going to stay there. It has little significance.\\nLearn how to carve out time for yourself within the context of a relationship, by developing your own interests and hobbies and regularly spending time with your friends and family. This will help you to remain independent in your relationship in a way that's healthy for you and your partner.\\n1-4. Forgive and forget.\\nThis is an integral step in the accepting yourself and reframing the past idea. When you don't hold grudges and stop taking things personally, you're left with an organic, untainted version of you – an emotionally independent and resilient you. And you'll be happier, too!\\nThe next time you catch yourself being upset with someone, realize that it has nothing to do with you. It's them making their own decisions, and you have no control over that, which is fine. This is one trivial moment in the scheme of your life that in short order will be completely forgotten about.\\nThat being said, this doesn't mean that some people should be let off the hook. Forgive them, forget the behavior, but modify your expectations. Was your friend an hour late to your lunch date? Noted. Next time (if there is a next time), you'll know how to handle it.\\n1-5. Spend time with yourself.\\nWhen's the last time you had some free time to kill and didn't whip out your phone or otherwise distract yourself? You're constantly bombarded with stimuli, which ultimately prevents introspection and getting to know yourself. Starting now, take 20 minutes or so a day for some \\\"me-time.\\\" Who's better company than you, anyway?\\nIn this time, watch your mind wander. Where does it go to? How does it think? Take note of just how fascinating this thing inside your head really is. What can you learn about yourself?\\n1-6. Know who you are.\\nKind of like asking an ant to look in a mirror and say, \\\"I'm an ant,\\\" isn't it? Well, in addition to the steps above and below, there are a few sticking points that apply to everyone:\\nYou are just as worthy as everyone else you know. There are not \\\"better\\\" humans; we all have good and bad qualities.\\nYou have talents and interests. What are they?\\nYou have thoughts and opinions. You have things you like and dislike. What are those?\\nYou have values. You have beliefs. What things/concepts/ideas do you hold as true?\\n2. Changing Your Thinking\\n2-1. Test yourself.\\nThere are a handful of ways one can be emotionally dependent. The most common way is in a romantic relationship. We learn to depend on our significant other for affection, sex, approval, you name it. When it doesn't come, we feel we've done something wrong or we're somehow less valuable. How are you emotionally dependent? Romantically? With friends? Coworkers or your boss? With every person you meet? Think about a few of the following things to pinpoint what areas you need to work on:\\nDo you get jealous easily? Do you compare yourself to others so much that it can ruin your day?\\nDo people often fail to meet your expectations? Who does this most often?\\nWhen you're alone, do you seek out others just to feel okay? Does a void spring up when you're not with others?\\nDoes your partner or the idea of a partner mean happiness to you?\\n2-2. Take responsibility.\\nWhen we blame others, they're at fault. Therefore, they become the only ones who can fix the problem. Terrible. In order to take control of your thinking and emotions, you've got to take responsibility.\\nThis forces you to become reliant on yourself for a solution. Instead of wallowing in misery, you think about what options you have at your disposal to improve the situation. This gets rid of those negative emotions that well up, too, forcing you to be more logical and feel more in control.\\n2-3. Stop and reflect the next time you get offended.\\nJust for a moment. Why get all worked up? This is just a person who is passing judgment and criticism. It is not the end of the world, nor is it even particularly remarkable, likely. Everyone does it. Why give them the satisfaction of caring? It's just not worth it.\\nRemind yourself that you don't have to react the way you feel inclined to. It may seem as if the natural, human way to respond is by being upset, but that's hardly your only option. You could be angry, you could be sad – or you could note it and move on. After all, there's no benefit to being angry or sad, is there? What'll it get you?\\n2-4. Realize that happiness is only inside you.\\nQuite literally. Serotonin and dopamine are what you really enjoy. If you wanted to condition yourself to feel ecstatic at the sight of brown carpet, you could. Brains are funny little creatures like that. In other words, you decide what makes you happy and it has nothing to do with the outside world. It comes from within – you can't find it out there.\\nIn case it wasn't clear, this is very, very, very good news. You have control over all your feelings! You are at the whim of no one! Every emotion you want to feel, you can. Every emotion you don't want to feel, you don't have to. Happiness is just a decision away.\\n2-5. Do your best not to overcompensate.\\nThere is a fine line between being emotionally independent, and well, a jerk. Some people get so caught up in \\\"being true to them\\\" that they step all over others in an effort to assert themselves. Keep in mind that this is not an excuse to be a bully and to always get your way. You can be kind and considerate while still being true to you.\\nMost people who stomp all over others are trying to thwart their inner feelings of inadequacy or unimportance. They don't feel of any value on the inside, so they force their \\\"value\\\" on others in an effort to convince themselves. This isn't being emotionally independent – it's straight up being rude.\\n3. Living Independently\\n3-1. Decide for yourself.\\nThe next time your friends are sitting around the table badmouthing the latest movie or complaining about pseudo-liberals or even gossiping about a friend, instead of letting them shape your opinions, decide for yourself. How do you feel? Why should their opinions have any weight on yours?\\nTry this in tiny ways, too. The next time you want to check out a cafe or a movie or a shop, etc., and you've heard pretty mediocre things, go anyway if that’s what you want to do! Other people sometimes just don't know what they're talking about.\\nWhen you have decided for yourself, work up to speaking out about it. It's possible other people feel similarly but are too shy to say anything! You may also bring up a good point that no one else considered.\\n3-2. Say \\\"no.\\\"\\nNot only do you not want to partake in this activity, but it's totally fine if you don't live up to others' expectations because it doesn't bother you. Listen to your gut – it's often right.\\nThere's a fine line here, however. Should you skip your best friend's wedding because you don't feel like it? Probably not. Should you avoid the mandatory work meeting because you're feeling lazy? Nope. In other words, know how to pick your battles.\\n3-3. Learn to fix your own problems.\\nNowadays, we live in cultures of millions. We have so many resources at our disposal that we don't have to do a thing ourselves. We get our cars fixed, our plumbing fixed, our computers fixed, our health fixed – the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, that takes away from our resourcefulness and our sense of responsibility. In order to not depend on others, we've got to fix our own problems.\\nSo the next time you're feeling down in the dumps, take it on your own shoulders to do something about it. Spend the night doing something you really enjoy, treat yourself to retail therapy, or, heck, just relax. When you're successful, this can show you that you have the power to make everything better, not other people.\\n3-4. Expect little from others.\\nThere's a line from a James Bond theme that says, \\\"Arm yourself because no one else will save you.\\\" It's a little cynical, but the idea is true: we're all humans and at the end of the day, we have to be selfish and put ourselves first to be happy. Everyone else does it, so you can, too – without feeling any guilt.\\nKeeping this in mind can help you from getting your hopes up and then being let down. When you have few expectations of people, it's easier for others to meet them. And it'll be easier to notice who still struggles meeting your lack of expectation and who consistently rises to the top.\\n3-5. Hang out with different groups of people.\\nWhen our entire lives revolve around a small group of people, it's hard not to think that their opinions couldn't move mountains. To widen your world and take the importance off their opinions, hang out with more people! Having a wide social network is good in fair and foul weather, too.\\nAll humans have to attach themselves to things. It can stink, because it means our emotions are at the whim of other people and other things. The key here is to not overattach yourself. It's a fine line that only you can find. The best way to do this is to spread yourself between different people and divvy up your time accordingly.\\n3-6. Do your own thing.\\nThis is what it comes down to: you are your own person and therefore you're going to do your own thing, whatever that means. When you find who you are and stick to it, no one can stop that inner sense of happiness that'll prevail as a result.\\nPeople who genuinely stick to who they are a rare breed. It shouldn't cause judgement – it should inspire. People will see that you are your own fountain of happiness and wish they were the same! While some won't be able to handle it, they're not the ones you want to be around anyway!.\\nTips\\nConsider your past mistakes as learning experiences. Do your best to avoid making the same mistakes again.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being emotionally independent and resilient is an integral part of being happy. When we depend on others for our sense of self, we never truly know who we are. Fortunately, by accepting ourselves, modifying our thinking, and taking active strides to be true to who we are and how we feel, we can find that inner sense of peace and independence we've been looking for. And it all starts with Step 1 below.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify the benefits of self-acceptance.\", \"描述\": \"The primary purpose of self-acceptance is to learn healthy techniques that will help you to heal and allow you to let go of unpleasant memories and traumas. The ideal goal is for you to have healthier interactions in your present life. Other benefits of practicing self-acceptance include:\\nMore self-confidence\\nDecreased anxiety and depression\\nLess self-criticism and guilt\\nIncreased awareness of yourself\\nIncreased self-worth\\nImproved sense of inner peace\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect on the reasons you are judging yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to yourself to figure out why you are having a hard time accepting yourself. Try meditating, journaling, or just sitting in a quiet place for a while and thinking about your reasons for judging yourself. Try to identify whose voice you are hearing when you judge yourself as well. For example, do you hear your parents, your partner, your friends, or someone else?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reframe the past.\", \"描述\": \"Let's take parents: most of them aren't that great. Are they not that great because they don't love us or we don't deserve affection? No. Though as children, that's hard to see. They're not that great because they have no idea what they're doing – they're trying, but they're only human. Instead of blaming them (or an ex, for example) for your pain, reframe it. See that they don't deserve anger, hate, or resentment. At worst they deserve pity; at best, compassion.\\nWhether you're 7 or 70, you've probably had relationships that have left you a little worse for the wear. You might have a tendency to take every failure/argument/disappointment/rejection personally and tally it up in your own mental notebook, coming up with a number to equate to just how valuable you are. That has to stop immediately. The past is in the past and it's going to stay there. It has little significance.\\nLearn how to carve out time for yourself within the context of a relationship, by developing your own interests and hobbies and regularly spending time with your friends and family. This will help you to remain independent in your relationship in a way that's healthy for you and your partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Forgive and forget.\", \"描述\": \"This is an integral step in the accepting yourself and reframing the past idea. When you don't hold grudges and stop taking things personally, you're left with an organic, untainted version of you – an emotionally independent and resilient you. And you'll be happier, too!\\nThe next time you catch yourself being upset with someone, realize that it has nothing to do with you. It's them making their own decisions, and you have no control over that, which is fine. This is one trivial moment in the scheme of your life that in short order will be completely forgotten about.\\nThat being said, this doesn't mean that some people should be let off the hook. Forgive them, forget the behavior, but modify your expectations. Was your friend an hour late to your lunch date? Noted. Next time (if there is a next time), you'll know how to handle it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spend time with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When's the last time you had some free time to kill and didn't whip out your phone or otherwise distract yourself? You're constantly bombarded with stimuli, which ultimately prevents introspection and getting to know yourself. Starting now, take 20 minutes or so a day for some \\\"me-time.\\\" Who's better company than you, anyway?\\nIn this time, watch your mind wander. Where does it go to? How does it think? Take note of just how fascinating this thing inside your head really is. What can you learn about yourself?\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Kind of like asking an ant to look in a mirror and say, \\\"I'm an ant,\\\" isn't it? Well, in addition to the steps above and below, there are a few sticking points that apply to everyone:\\nYou are just as worthy as everyone else you know. There are not \\\"better\\\" humans; we all have good and bad qualities.\\nYou have talents and interests. What are they?\\nYou have thoughts and opinions. You have things you like and dislike. What are those?\\nYou have values. You have beliefs. What things/concepts/ideas do you hold as true?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Thinking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Test yourself.\", \"描述\": \"There are a handful of ways one can be emotionally dependent. The most common way is in a romantic relationship. We learn to depend on our significant other for affection, sex, approval, you name it. When it doesn't come, we feel we've done something wrong or we're somehow less valuable. How are you emotionally dependent? Romantically? With friends? Coworkers or your boss? With every person you meet? Think about a few of the following things to pinpoint what areas you need to work on:\\nDo you get jealous easily? Do you compare yourself to others so much that it can ruin your day?\\nDo people often fail to meet your expectations? Who does this most often?\\nWhen you're alone, do you seek out others just to feel okay? Does a void spring up when you're not with others?\\nDoes your partner or the idea of a partner mean happiness to you?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"When we blame others, they're at fault. Therefore, they become the only ones who can fix the problem. Terrible. In order to take control of your thinking and emotions, you've got to take responsibility.\\nThis forces you to become reliant on yourself for a solution. Instead of wallowing in misery, you think about what options you have at your disposal to improve the situation. This gets rid of those negative emotions that well up, too, forcing you to be more logical and feel more in control.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop and reflect the next time you get offended.\", \"描述\": \"Just for a moment. Why get all worked up? This is just a person who is passing judgment and criticism. It is not the end of the world, nor is it even particularly remarkable, likely. Everyone does it. Why give them the satisfaction of caring? It's just not worth it.\\nRemind yourself that you don't have to react the way you feel inclined to. It may seem as if the natural, human way to respond is by being upset, but that's hardly your only option. You could be angry, you could be sad – or you could note it and move on. After all, there's no benefit to being angry or sad, is there? What'll it get you?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Realize that happiness is only inside you.\", \"描述\": \"Quite literally. Serotonin and dopamine are what you really enjoy. If you wanted to condition yourself to feel ecstatic at the sight of brown carpet, you could. Brains are funny little creatures like that. In other words, you decide what makes you happy and it has nothing to do with the outside world. It comes from within – you can't find it out there.\\nIn case it wasn't clear, this is very, very, very good news. You have control over all your feelings! You are at the whim of no one! Every emotion you want to feel, you can. Every emotion you don't want to feel, you don't have to. Happiness is just a decision away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do your best not to overcompensate.\", \"描述\": \"There is a fine line between being emotionally independent, and well, a jerk. Some people get so caught up in \\\"being true to them\\\" that they step all over others in an effort to assert themselves. Keep in mind that this is not an excuse to be a bully and to always get your way. You can be kind and considerate while still being true to you.\\nMost people who stomp all over others are trying to thwart their inner feelings of inadequacy or unimportance. They don't feel of any value on the inside, so they force their \\\"value\\\" on others in an effort to convince themselves. This isn't being emotionally independent – it's straight up being rude.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Living Independently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The next time your friends are sitting around the table badmouthing the latest movie or complaining about pseudo-liberals or even gossiping about a friend, instead of letting them shape your opinions, decide for yourself. How do you feel? Why should their opinions have any weight on yours?\\nTry this in tiny ways, too. The next time you want to check out a cafe or a movie or a shop, etc., and you've heard pretty mediocre things, go anyway if that’s what you want to do! Other people sometimes just don't know what they're talking about.\\nWhen you have decided for yourself, work up to speaking out about it. It's possible other people feel similarly but are too shy to say anything! You may also bring up a good point that no one else considered.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"no.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Not only do you not want to partake in this activity, but it's totally fine if you don't live up to others' expectations because it doesn't bother you. Listen to your gut – it's often right.\\nThere's a fine line here, however. Should you skip your best friend's wedding because you don't feel like it? Probably not. Should you avoid the mandatory work meeting because you're feeling lazy? Nope. In other words, know how to pick your battles.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to fix your own problems.\", \"描述\": \"Nowadays, we live in cultures of millions. We have so many resources at our disposal that we don't have to do a thing ourselves. We get our cars fixed, our plumbing fixed, our computers fixed, our health fixed – the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, that takes away from our resourcefulness and our sense of responsibility. In order to not depend on others, we've got to fix our own problems.\\nSo the next time you're feeling down in the dumps, take it on your own shoulders to do something about it. Spend the night doing something you really enjoy, treat yourself to retail therapy, or, heck, just relax. When you're successful, this can show you that you have the power to make everything better, not other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Expect little from others.\", \"描述\": \"There's a line from a James Bond theme that says, \\\"Arm yourself because no one else will save you.\\\" It's a little cynical, but the idea is true: we're all humans and at the end of the day, we have to be selfish and put ourselves first to be happy. Everyone else does it, so you can, too – without feeling any guilt.\\nKeeping this in mind can help you from getting your hopes up and then being let down. When you have few expectations of people, it's easier for others to meet them. And it'll be easier to notice who still struggles meeting your lack of expectation and who consistently rises to the top.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hang out with different groups of people.\", \"描述\": \"When our entire lives revolve around a small group of people, it's hard not to think that their opinions couldn't move mountains. To widen your world and take the importance off their opinions, hang out with more people! Having a wide social network is good in fair and foul weather, too.\\nAll humans have to attach themselves to things. It can stink, because it means our emotions are at the whim of other people and other things. The key here is to not overattach yourself. It's a fine line that only you can find. The best way to do this is to spread yourself between different people and divvy up your time accordingly.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do your own thing.\", \"描述\": \"This is what it comes down to: you are your own person and therefore you're going to do your own thing, whatever that means. When you find who you are and stick to it, no one can stop that inner sense of happiness that'll prevail as a result.\\nPeople who genuinely stick to who they are a rare breed. It shouldn't cause judgement – it should inspire. People will see that you are your own fountain of happiness and wish they were the same! While some won't be able to handle it, they're not the ones you want to be around anyway!.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Consider your past mistakes as learning experiences. Do your best to avoid making the same mistakes again.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,699 | How to Be Emotionless | 1. Take some deep breaths.
When you feel strong emotions coming on, pause for a moment.
Breathe deeply in through your nose, then let it out through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel your heart rate slowing and you can control your breathing.
This is also a good way to control anxiety.
Deep breathing is a good way to control your emotions subtly. For instance, let’s say you run into an ex—you might not have time to step away and control your emotions on your own. You can secretly practice deep breathing even while in a conversation with someone.
2. Focus on your body, not your mind.
Get up and walk around or do some stretching.
What does your body feel like right now? Pay attention to the feeling of the clothes on your skin, and try to ignore any thoughts that you’re having. This can help you stay grounded and control emotional outbursts in the moment.
Taking a nature walk is also a good way to ground yourself.
You could also massage your own shoulders and focus on the sensation of touch.
Or, if you have time, do a few yoga poses as a way to connect with your body.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror.
It will help you reconnect with your body and your mind.
If you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, head to the bathroom and look at the mirror for a few minutes. As you do, focus on taking deep breaths and think about increasing your self-compassion.
After 2 to 3 minutes, you’ll probably feel your heart rate slow down and your breathing get a little more even.
Heading to the bathroom also lets you take a little break to control your emotions by yourself. It’s a good tool to use at work or out in public when things get a little overwhelming.
4. Repeat a mantra to yourself.
A simple phrase can help you calm your emotions.
When you feel yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths and repeat your mantra inside your mind. You can pick whatever phrase you’d like, but some common ones include:
“This isn’t about me.”
“No need to get worked up.”
“This will pass.”
5. Distract yourself.
Do something engaging that will keep your mind off your emotions.
Try to pick something that really works your brain: do a puzzle, read a new book, try a word search, or do some art. The more you can keep your mind off things, the less you’ll focus on your emotions.
Stay away from mindless activities, like watching TV or scrolling through social media. These aren’t very engaging, so they won’t do much to distract you.
6. Avoid emotional triggers.
Some things rile us up no matter what we do.
If you know that you get stressed or angry when you’re running late, plan on leaving the house 10 minutes early. If there’s an acquaintance you find particularly annoying, avoid the spots they’re most likely to hang out.
While you can’t avoid your emotional triggers all of the time, you can do your best to limit them in your day-to-day life.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts can really skew our perceptions.
You can ask yourself things like “Is that really true?” or, “What evidence do I have to support that?” to think logically instead of with your emotions. Over time, you may be able to stop your negative thoughts in their tracks.
For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t have any friends,” ask yourself, “Is that really true? Didn’t I just hang out with my friends over the weekend?”
Or, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m gonna do so bad on this project,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support that? I can’t see into the future.”
8. Change your perspective on emotions.
Often, we think of our emotions as negatives.
Instead, try to see them as a helpful tool. If you’re super nervous before a job interview and you find yourself shaking or sweating, reframe the emotion by saying, “Wow, I have so much energy for this interview!” Your emotions now become a silver lining instead of a hindrance.
If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a coworker, remind yourself that you’re just passionate about your work and you want to do a good job.
If you feel yourself getting sad because you have to see your ex, tell yourself that your sadness just means you’re going to have a lot of love to give to your next partner.
9. Worry about your own problems.
Shouldering the burdens of others can really wear you down.
If you’re an empathetic person, listening to your friends or family members vent about their issues can really take a toll on you. It’s great to care about other people, but it’s also okay to set boundaries if you need to take some time for yourself.
For instance, if your friend wants to call and chat about her terrible boyfriend, you could say, “I love talking to you, but I’m just not in the headspace to offer advice right now. Could we talk next week instead?”
You could also say, “In the future, would you mind asking before you call to vent? I love chatting with you, but sometimes I’m just in a terrible mood and I can’t offer good advice.”
10. Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness can help you control emotional outbursts.
Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what’s going on right now in this moment. It might help to focus on your senses: name a few things you can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear to stay present.
Mindfulness is also great for your mental health in general, especially if you deal with anxiety.
11. Put yourself first.
Don’t allow the emotions of others to take over your life.
Instead, focus on yourself and your goals for the future. It can be difficult at first, but prioritizing yourself over others will leave you feeling happier and healthier in the long run.
This can be as simple as declining someone’s request for a favor because you’re just too busy. Prioritize your own stress levels to put yourself first.
12. Keep a journal.
Work through your emotions in a healthy way.
Set aside 5 to 10 minutes every night to write about what you did that day and how you felt. If you experienced any strong emotions, write about what happened and how you handled it. Letting your feelings out will keep you from bottling them up so you don’t explode.
Keep your journal in a private place so no one else can read it.
13. Get enough sleep.
Studies show that lack of sleep can lead to emotional outbursts.
Make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night so you wake up rested and ready to tackle the day. Sleep is a very important part of mental health, and getting enough will benefit every aspect of your life.
When you’re well rested, you’re more capable of making calm, rational decisions instead of basing them on emotions.
14. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury your emotions.
It will probably only make your problems worse.
Using drugs or alcohol to tamp down what you’re feeling isn’t a good long-term solution, and your emotions will continue to build until you address them. Self-medicating is never a good idea, and it can leave you in a worse place than when you started.
Food can also be used as a way to tamp down emotions, whether that’s overeating or undereating. Try to stick to a regular diet as you work through your emotions.
Tips
If you often struggle with emotional outbursts, you might benefit from talking to a mental health professional.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Take some deep breaths.\\nWhen you feel strong emotions coming on, pause for a moment.\\nBreathe deeply in through your nose, then let it out through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel your heart rate slowing and you can control your breathing.\\nThis is also a good way to control anxiety.\\nDeep breathing is a good way to control your emotions subtly. For instance, let’s say you run into an ex—you might not have time to step away and control your emotions on your own. You can secretly practice deep breathing even while in a conversation with someone.\\n2. Focus on your body, not your mind.\\nGet up and walk around or do some stretching.\\nWhat does your body feel like right now? Pay attention to the feeling of the clothes on your skin, and try to ignore any thoughts that you’re having. This can help you stay grounded and control emotional outbursts in the moment.\\nTaking a nature walk is also a good way to ground yourself.\\nYou could also massage your own shoulders and focus on the sensation of touch.\\nOr, if you have time, do a few yoga poses as a way to connect with your body.\\n3. Look at yourself in the mirror.\\nIt will help you reconnect with your body and your mind.\\nIf you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, head to the bathroom and look at the mirror for a few minutes. As you do, focus on taking deep breaths and think about increasing your self-compassion.\\nAfter 2 to 3 minutes, you’ll probably feel your heart rate slow down and your breathing get a little more even.\\nHeading to the bathroom also lets you take a little break to control your emotions by yourself. It’s a good tool to use at work or out in public when things get a little overwhelming.\\n4. Repeat a mantra to yourself.\\nA simple phrase can help you calm your emotions.\\nWhen you feel yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths and repeat your mantra inside your mind. You can pick whatever phrase you’d like, but some common ones include:\\n“This isn’t about me.”\\n“No need to get worked up.”\\n“This will pass.”\\n5. Distract yourself.\\nDo something engaging that will keep your mind off your emotions.\\nTry to pick something that really works your brain: do a puzzle, read a new book, try a word search, or do some art. The more you can keep your mind off things, the less you’ll focus on your emotions.\\nStay away from mindless activities, like watching TV or scrolling through social media. These aren’t very engaging, so they won’t do much to distract you.\\n6. Avoid emotional triggers.\\nSome things rile us up no matter what we do.\\nIf you know that you get stressed or angry when you’re running late, plan on leaving the house 10 minutes early. If there’s an acquaintance you find particularly annoying, avoid the spots they’re most likely to hang out.\\nWhile you can’t avoid your emotional triggers all of the time, you can do your best to limit them in your day-to-day life.\\n7. Challenge your negative thoughts.\\nNegative thoughts can really skew our perceptions.\\nYou can ask yourself things like “Is that really true?” or, “What evidence do I have to support that?” to think logically instead of with your emotions. Over time, you may be able to stop your negative thoughts in their tracks.\\nFor instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t have any friends,” ask yourself, “Is that really true? Didn’t I just hang out with my friends over the weekend?”\\nOr, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m gonna do so bad on this project,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support that? I can’t see into the future.”\\n8. Change your perspective on emotions.\\nOften, we think of our emotions as negatives.\\nInstead, try to see them as a helpful tool. If you’re super nervous before a job interview and you find yourself shaking or sweating, reframe the emotion by saying, “Wow, I have so much energy for this interview!” Your emotions now become a silver lining instead of a hindrance.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a coworker, remind yourself that you’re just passionate about your work and you want to do a good job.\\nIf you feel yourself getting sad because you have to see your ex, tell yourself that your sadness just means you’re going to have a lot of love to give to your next partner.\\n9. Worry about your own problems.\\nShouldering the burdens of others can really wear you down.\\nIf you’re an empathetic person, listening to your friends or family members vent about their issues can really take a toll on you. It’s great to care about other people, but it’s also okay to set boundaries if you need to take some time for yourself.\\nFor instance, if your friend wants to call and chat about her terrible boyfriend, you could say, “I love talking to you, but I’m just not in the headspace to offer advice right now. Could we talk next week instead?”\\nYou could also say, “In the future, would you mind asking before you call to vent? I love chatting with you, but sometimes I’m just in a terrible mood and I can’t offer good advice.”\\n10. Practice mindfulness.\\nMindfulness can help you control emotional outbursts.\\nInstead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what’s going on right now in this moment. It might help to focus on your senses: name a few things you can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear to stay present.\\nMindfulness is also great for your mental health in general, especially if you deal with anxiety.\\n11. Put yourself first.\\nDon’t allow the emotions of others to take over your life.\\nInstead, focus on yourself and your goals for the future. It can be difficult at first, but prioritizing yourself over others will leave you feeling happier and healthier in the long run.\\nThis can be as simple as declining someone’s request for a favor because you’re just too busy. Prioritize your own stress levels to put yourself first.\\n12. Keep a journal.\\nWork through your emotions in a healthy way.\\nSet aside 5 to 10 minutes every night to write about what you did that day and how you felt. If you experienced any strong emotions, write about what happened and how you handled it. Letting your feelings out will keep you from bottling them up so you don’t explode.\\nKeep your journal in a private place so no one else can read it.\\n13. Get enough sleep.\\nStudies show that lack of sleep can lead to emotional outbursts.\\nMake sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night so you wake up rested and ready to tackle the day. Sleep is a very important part of mental health, and getting enough will benefit every aspect of your life.\\nWhen you’re well rested, you’re more capable of making calm, rational decisions instead of basing them on emotions.\\n14. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury your emotions.\\nIt will probably only make your problems worse.\\nUsing drugs or alcohol to tamp down what you’re feeling isn’t a good long-term solution, and your emotions will continue to build until you address them. Self-medicating is never a good idea, and it can leave you in a worse place than when you started.\\nFood can also be used as a way to tamp down emotions, whether that’s overeating or undereating. Try to stick to a regular diet as you work through your emotions.\\nTips\\nIf you often struggle with emotional outbursts, you might benefit from talking to a mental health professional.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. Being in tune with your emotions is a great thing, and it can lead to deeper connections and more awareness overall. However, when your emotions control you, they can seriously affect your ability to perform and to think clearly in crucial situations. You can’t get rid of your emotions completely, but you can keep emotions from taking over your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take some deep breaths.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you feel strong emotions coming on, pause for a moment.\", \"描述\": \"Breathe deeply in through your nose, then let it out through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel your heart rate slowing and you can control your breathing.\\nThis is also a good way to control anxiety.\\nDeep breathing is a good way to control your emotions subtly. For instance, let’s say you run into an ex—you might not have time to step away and control your emotions on your own. You can secretly practice deep breathing even while in a conversation with someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on your body, not your mind.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get up and walk around or do some stretching.\", \"描述\": \"What does your body feel like right now? Pay attention to the feeling of the clothes on your skin, and try to ignore any thoughts that you’re having. This can help you stay grounded and control emotional outbursts in the moment.\\nTaking a nature walk is also a good way to ground yourself.\\nYou could also massage your own shoulders and focus on the sensation of touch.\\nOr, if you have time, do a few yoga poses as a way to connect with your body.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look at yourself in the mirror.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will help you reconnect with your body and your mind.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, head to the bathroom and look at the mirror for a few minutes. As you do, focus on taking deep breaths and think about increasing your self-compassion.\\nAfter 2 to 3 minutes, you’ll probably feel your heart rate slow down and your breathing get a little more even.\\nHeading to the bathroom also lets you take a little break to control your emotions by yourself. It’s a good tool to use at work or out in public when things get a little overwhelming.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Repeat a mantra to yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A simple phrase can help you calm your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"When you feel yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths and repeat your mantra inside your mind. You can pick whatever phrase you’d like, but some common ones include:\\n“This isn’t about me.”\\n“No need to get worked up.”\\n“This will pass.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Distract yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do something engaging that will keep your mind off your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Try to pick something that really works your brain: do a puzzle, read a new book, try a word search, or do some art. The more you can keep your mind off things, the less you’ll focus on your emotions.\\nStay away from mindless activities, like watching TV or scrolling through social media. These aren’t very engaging, so they won’t do much to distract you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid emotional triggers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Some things rile us up no matter what we do.\", \"描述\": \"If you know that you get stressed or angry when you’re running late, plan on leaving the house 10 minutes early. If there’s an acquaintance you find particularly annoying, avoid the spots they’re most likely to hang out.\\nWhile you can’t avoid your emotional triggers all of the time, you can do your best to limit them in your day-to-day life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Challenge your negative thoughts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Negative thoughts can really skew our perceptions.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask yourself things like “Is that really true?” or, “What evidence do I have to support that?” to think logically instead of with your emotions. Over time, you may be able to stop your negative thoughts in their tracks.\\nFor instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t have any friends,” ask yourself, “Is that really true? Didn’t I just hang out with my friends over the weekend?”\\nOr, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m gonna do so bad on this project,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support that? I can’t see into the future.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Change your perspective on emotions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Often, we think of our emotions as negatives.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, try to see them as a helpful tool. If you’re super nervous before a job interview and you find yourself shaking or sweating, reframe the emotion by saying, “Wow, I have so much energy for this interview!” Your emotions now become a silver lining instead of a hindrance.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a coworker, remind yourself that you’re just passionate about your work and you want to do a good job.\\nIf you feel yourself getting sad because you have to see your ex, tell yourself that your sadness just means you’re going to have a lot of love to give to your next partner.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Worry about your own problems.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shouldering the burdens of others can really wear you down.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re an empathetic person, listening to your friends or family members vent about their issues can really take a toll on you. It’s great to care about other people, but it’s also okay to set boundaries if you need to take some time for yourself.\\nFor instance, if your friend wants to call and chat about her terrible boyfriend, you could say, “I love talking to you, but I’m just not in the headspace to offer advice right now. Could we talk next week instead?”\\nYou could also say, “In the future, would you mind asking before you call to vent? I love chatting with you, but sometimes I’m just in a terrible mood and I can’t offer good advice.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mindfulness can help you control emotional outbursts.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what’s going on right now in this moment. It might help to focus on your senses: name a few things you can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear to stay present.\\nMindfulness is also great for your mental health in general, especially if you deal with anxiety.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Put yourself first.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t allow the emotions of others to take over your life.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, focus on yourself and your goals for the future. It can be difficult at first, but prioritizing yourself over others will leave you feeling happier and healthier in the long run.\\nThis can be as simple as declining someone’s request for a favor because you’re just too busy. Prioritize your own stress levels to put yourself first.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work through your emotions in a healthy way.\", \"描述\": \"Set aside 5 to 10 minutes every night to write about what you did that day and how you felt. If you experienced any strong emotions, write about what happened and how you handled it. Letting your feelings out will keep you from bottling them up so you don’t explode.\\nKeep your journal in a private place so no one else can read it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Studies show that lack of sleep can lead to emotional outbursts.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night so you wake up rested and ready to tackle the day. Sleep is a very important part of mental health, and getting enough will benefit every aspect of your life.\\nWhen you’re well rested, you’re more capable of making calm, rational decisions instead of basing them on emotions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury your emotions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will probably only make your problems worse.\", \"描述\": \"Using drugs or alcohol to tamp down what you’re feeling isn’t a good long-term solution, and your emotions will continue to build until you address them. Self-medicating is never a good idea, and it can leave you in a worse place than when you started.\\nFood can also be used as a way to tamp down emotions, whether that’s overeating or undereating. Try to stick to a regular diet as you work through your emotions.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you often struggle with emotional outbursts, you might benefit from talking to a mental health professional.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,700 | 12 Ways to Be a More Carefree and Energetic Person | 1. Control your stress.
Stress can be a debilitating condition associated with emotional and physical tension, and anxiety.
In order to bring your fun-loving side up, try to reduce or eliminate stress in your life.
Stress can result from both the negative (such as trouble at work or school) and positive (planning a friend's birthday party) events in your life.
Nobody is a stranger to stress; however, if you experience stress long-term, it can negatively impact your health.
Take steps to control stress and allow yourself to be more fun loving. Stress can be controlled by exercising regularly, resting and relaxing enough, eating a healthy diet, and treating yourself to something special.
2. Find an activity that makes you happy.
Try to find an activity that makes you happy and excited.
This is especially important if you feel that you are not fun-loving because you never do anything that is fun or brings you joy.
The activity that makes you happy can differ tremendously depending what type of person you are. Extroverts can find their happiness by seeking crowds and being in the center of attention, while introverts may find their energy in solitude. Whatever the activity, you need to figure it out yourself and then just do it.
If you love the outdoors and enjoy the nature, go hiking, skiing, running, swimming, or bicycling. These are easy-to-do activities that require little planning and equipment and you can easily do by yourself.
Or try something new and go horseback riding, rock climbing, parasailing, backpacking, etc. You may surprise yourself and find an inner happiness you never knew existed.
If you are the type that requires company and/or encouragement to try new things, ask your friend or spouse to come along. Finding a new hobby to do together can be a great way to bring your fun-loving side up too.
3. Engage in regular exercise.
Exercise helps improve your overall health, makes you stronger, and makes your body work more efficiently.
All these combined will make you more energetic.
Choose exercise activities that you enjoy. Some people associate exercising with going to the gym or physical education class, but that is only a small fraction of what exercise can be. You can go walking, hiking, dancing, bicycling, or jogging, or you can play tennis, golf, racquetball, or some other sport.
Not only will exercise improve your health and make you feel more energetic, it also helps you to become happier, more positive, and less anxious.
Engage in some form of physical exercise at least 3-4 times or 150 minutes per week.
4. Eat a healthy diet.
Our bodies need fuel for energy; that fuel is food.
Build your diet around healthy, non-processed foods that provide all the necessary nutrients and help raise your energy levels.
Avoid foods high in sugar and low in nutrition (called empty-calorie foods), such as pre-packaged meals, chips, sodas, and candy bars. These foods actually decrease energy levels after providing a very short energy boost.
An ideal mix of ingredients to eat includes foods that provide complex carbohydrates, are low in fat, and contain moderate amount of protein.
Spread your daily calories evenly and avoid skipping a meal only to have a huge meal later. If possible, eat five meals a day, keeping the amount of calories in a day where you want.
Do not skip any meals. This will cause a loss of energy. Your body needs food to keep going in the same way a vehicle needs gas to keep going.
Also, drink plenty of water. Dehydration leads to low energy. Drink 8-9 glasses of water each day.
5. Drink caffeine in moderation.
Consuming caffeine can have a positive effect on your energy levels.
In addition to boosting your mental and physical energy, caffeine also increases your fat oxidation and metabolic rate.
Caution: caffeine is known to cause sleeplessness and jitteriness. The amount of caffeine you would need to consume to experience these effects differs from person to person and depends on your sensitivity to caffeine.
The majority of healthy adults can safely consume caffeine in the amount of 400 milligrams (mg) a day.
6. Ensure you get all the necessary vitamins and minerals.
B vitamins and iron are important micronutrients that help support your energy levels.
If you are deficient in these nutrients, you can experience lowered energy levels.
B vitamins and iron are extremely important for your body’s ability to create and use energy. Vitamin 12, vitamin 6, thiamine, niacin, and folic acid support your body’s energy metabolism, while iron is needed for healthy red blood cells that are responsible for carrying oxygen.
Deficiency in B vitamins and iron can lead to anemia and fatigue.
If you are not getting enough of these and other micronutrients in your diet, consider taking a multivitamin with iron and essential B vitamins.
7. Get enough sleep.
If you suffer from lack of energy, it might be because you are not getting enough sleep.
According to the Sleep Foundation, adults should get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night.
Make sure you get enough sleep. Set a regular bedtime and stick to it every night, even during the weekends. If you need to adjust your bedtime, make small daily increments (15 min earlier every night) until you achieve the target bedtime. Also, wake up the same time every morning.
Avoid heavy meals and too much alcohol just before bedtime as these might make sleeping more difficult.
If you suffer from insomnia or sleep disturbances, it can lead to fatigue and lack of motivation. However, fatigue can also be a sign of a more serious health condition. If you don't get energized by getting enough sleep and good nutrition, you should get evaluated by your doctor.
8. Practice yoga.
Practicing yoga can help reduce fatigue and boost your energy levels.
It also offers other health benefits to your muscles and cardiovascular system.
During yoga poses, breathe deeply to bring fresh oxygen to your blood. This will stimulate your nervous system and make you feel more energetic.
Try the following breathing exercise: sit on the floor with your spine straight. Breathe in through your nose and count to four. Then exhale while counting to eight. Repeat.
Try the Uttanasana yoga pose, which is an energizing forward bend: start by standing and bending forward and down. Keep your knees slightly bent and allow your upper body to hang toward the toes. Breathe deeply, while allowing your spine to lengthen.
9. Deal with sadness.
Like stress, sadness or feeling blue can also affect your emotional and physical well-being.
It can also dampen your fun-loving side.
If you are sad, you may also suffer from low enthusiasm, lethargy, and/or low self-esteem. If you are feeling low in energy, drive, and hope, it is more challenging to be fun-loving.
Sometimes beating sadness can be as easy as leaving the house and diverting your sadness to something positive and fun.
When you are feeling blue you might keep yourself isolated and avoid spending time with others. If you find yourself spending all your time alone at home, force yourself out of the house.
You can go shopping, walking, or catch a funny movie at the theater. Anything that gets you out of the house and spend time with your friends and family will do.
The hardest step is to leave the house, but once you do it and are out, you can often find yourself forgetting the sadness and enjoying life.
If you cannot beat your sadness, consider seeking medical attention to determine if you may suffer from depression. Your doctor can prescribe antidepressants to treat depression.
Seasonal depression is a common condition; an estimated 6.7% of U.S. population suffered from at least one depressive episode in 2013.
Caution: serious, untreated depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know suffer from depression or a depressive episode, seek help immediately.
10. Learn to think more positively.
Negative thoughts and feelings have the capability to bring you down and lower your self-esteem.
Learning to see the positive side in life can have a transforming effect and allow you to release your fun-loving side.
You may not always be able to control your external environment, but you can control your inner thoughts. Even in tough situations, thinking positively can help you overcome barriers and release your fun-loving side.
Seek situations that bring out the best in you and then learn to transfer that feeling to situations that might not bring out the best in you. This way you can learn to think positively even in situations that might normally bring out negative thoughts.
Focus on what is good in your life and write it down on a paper. Then carry that paper with you. When you find yourself down or unhappy, read through that list and try to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts (e.g., the glass is half full, not half empty).
You can also break free from negative thoughts by telling yourself “I can” and not allowing disrespectful people or bad situations bring you down.
11. Honor and respect yourself.
Being able to be more fun-loving means you need to honor and love yourself first.
Honoring yourself means to honor your life and what you have accomplished and created. This includes friendships, family, children, and even strangers that you have connected with.
In order to honor yourself, you need to accept yourself for who you are. Only when you understand who you are and can embrace that person, can you bring your fun-loving side up.
To learn to honor yourself, list your biggest achievements on a paper (e.g., graduated from school, had children, bought a house, climbed a mountain, achieved a personal goal, etc). Then, focus on those achievements and allow yourself to gain respect for yourself through them.
12. Break out of your comfort zone.
Sometimes being more fun-loving means you need to allow yourself to try new things.
Often times we keep ourselves contained in a zone where we are comfortable, but that does not mean that is the place we are happiest.
Allow yourself to try new things, take chances, and have fun. However, there are limitations to what you can and what you should do and you should never try or do things that cause harm to you or others.
To break out, first understand your comfort zone and how you tend to stay in it naturally. Once you understand your comfort zone, change your normal way of thinking and acting and slowly break out of it.
For example, start by making a list of all the things that you do to avoid uncertainty (e.g., are there situations that you avoid, do you check on your kids constantly, do you suffer from lack of trust).
Once you have your list, start by picking the small items that you can do to break out of the cycle (e.g., go to a place you have never visited before, seek situations you normally avoid, allow yourself to be more trusting).
Keep a record of all the times you succeeded in your goal and what happened (e.g., what happened when you visited a new place or pursued an unfamiliar situation).
Tips
Life's too short to be miserable!
It is all a state of mind so before you begin, forget all of the things that may make you sad and gloomy.
Don't dwell on the past but live for the future.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Control your stress.\\nStress can be a debilitating condition associated with emotional and physical tension, and anxiety.\\nIn order to bring your fun-loving side up, try to reduce or eliminate stress in your life.\\nStress can result from both the negative (such as trouble at work or school) and positive (planning a friend's birthday party) events in your life.\\nNobody is a stranger to stress; however, if you experience stress long-term, it can negatively impact your health.\\nTake steps to control stress and allow yourself to be more fun loving. Stress can be controlled by exercising regularly, resting and relaxing enough, eating a healthy diet, and treating yourself to something special.\\n2. Find an activity that makes you happy.\\nTry to find an activity that makes you happy and excited.\\nThis is especially important if you feel that you are not fun-loving because you never do anything that is fun or brings you joy.\\nThe activity that makes you happy can differ tremendously depending what type of person you are. Extroverts can find their happiness by seeking crowds and being in the center of attention, while introverts may find their energy in solitude. Whatever the activity, you need to figure it out yourself and then just do it.\\nIf you love the outdoors and enjoy the nature, go hiking, skiing, running, swimming, or bicycling. These are easy-to-do activities that require little planning and equipment and you can easily do by yourself.\\nOr try something new and go horseback riding, rock climbing, parasailing, backpacking, etc. You may surprise yourself and find an inner happiness you never knew existed.\\nIf you are the type that requires company and/or encouragement to try new things, ask your friend or spouse to come along. Finding a new hobby to do together can be a great way to bring your fun-loving side up too.\\n3. Engage in regular exercise.\\nExercise helps improve your overall health, makes you stronger, and makes your body work more efficiently.\\nAll these combined will make you more energetic.\\n\\nChoose exercise activities that you enjoy. Some people associate exercising with going to the gym or physical education class, but that is only a small fraction of what exercise can be. You can go walking, hiking, dancing, bicycling, or jogging, or you can play tennis, golf, racquetball, or some other sport.\\nNot only will exercise improve your health and make you feel more energetic, it also helps you to become happier, more positive, and less anxious.\\nEngage in some form of physical exercise at least 3-4 times or 150 minutes per week.\\n4. Eat a healthy diet.\\nOur bodies need fuel for energy; that fuel is food.\\nBuild your diet around healthy, non-processed foods that provide all the necessary nutrients and help raise your energy levels.\\nAvoid foods high in sugar and low in nutrition (called empty-calorie foods), such as pre-packaged meals, chips, sodas, and candy bars. These foods actually decrease energy levels after providing a very short energy boost.\\nAn ideal mix of ingredients to eat includes foods that provide complex carbohydrates, are low in fat, and contain moderate amount of protein.\\nSpread your daily calories evenly and avoid skipping a meal only to have a huge meal later. If possible, eat five meals a day, keeping the amount of calories in a day where you want.\\nDo not skip any meals. This will cause a loss of energy. Your body needs food to keep going in the same way a vehicle needs gas to keep going.\\nAlso, drink plenty of water. Dehydration leads to low energy. Drink 8-9 glasses of water each day.\\n5. Drink caffeine in moderation.\\nConsuming caffeine can have a positive effect on your energy levels.\\nIn addition to boosting your mental and physical energy, caffeine also increases your fat oxidation and metabolic rate.\\nCaution: caffeine is known to cause sleeplessness and jitteriness. The amount of caffeine you would need to consume to experience these effects differs from person to person and depends on your sensitivity to caffeine.\\nThe majority of healthy adults can safely consume caffeine in the amount of 400 milligrams (mg) a day.\\n6. Ensure you get all the necessary vitamins and minerals.\\nB vitamins and iron are important micronutrients that help support your energy levels.\\nIf you are deficient in these nutrients, you can experience lowered energy levels.\\nB vitamins and iron are extremely important for your body’s ability to create and use energy. Vitamin 12, vitamin 6, thiamine, niacin, and folic acid support your body’s energy metabolism, while iron is needed for healthy red blood cells that are responsible for carrying oxygen.\\nDeficiency in B vitamins and iron can lead to anemia and fatigue.\\nIf you are not getting enough of these and other micronutrients in your diet, consider taking a multivitamin with iron and essential B vitamins.\\n7. Get enough sleep.\\nIf you suffer from lack of energy, it might be because you are not getting enough sleep.\\nAccording to the Sleep Foundation, adults should get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night.\\nMake sure you get enough sleep. Set a regular bedtime and stick to it every night, even during the weekends. If you need to adjust your bedtime, make small daily increments (15 min earlier every night) until you achieve the target bedtime. Also, wake up the same time every morning.\\nAvoid heavy meals and too much alcohol just before bedtime as these might make sleeping more difficult.\\nIf you suffer from insomnia or sleep disturbances, it can lead to fatigue and lack of motivation. However, fatigue can also be a sign of a more serious health condition. If you don't get energized by getting enough sleep and good nutrition, you should get evaluated by your doctor.\\n8. Practice yoga.\\nPracticing yoga can help reduce fatigue and boost your energy levels.\\nIt also offers other health benefits to your muscles and cardiovascular system.\\nDuring yoga poses, breathe deeply to bring fresh oxygen to your blood. This will stimulate your nervous system and make you feel more energetic.\\nTry the following breathing exercise: sit on the floor with your spine straight. Breathe in through your nose and count to four. Then exhale while counting to eight. Repeat.\\nTry the Uttanasana yoga pose, which is an energizing forward bend: start by standing and bending forward and down. Keep your knees slightly bent and allow your upper body to hang toward the toes. Breathe deeply, while allowing your spine to lengthen.\\n9. Deal with sadness.\\nLike stress, sadness or feeling blue can also affect your emotional and physical well-being.\\nIt can also dampen your fun-loving side.\\nIf you are sad, you may also suffer from low enthusiasm, lethargy, and/or low self-esteem. If you are feeling low in energy, drive, and hope, it is more challenging to be fun-loving.\\nSometimes beating sadness can be as easy as leaving the house and diverting your sadness to something positive and fun.\\nWhen you are feeling blue you might keep yourself isolated and avoid spending time with others. If you find yourself spending all your time alone at home, force yourself out of the house.\\nYou can go shopping, walking, or catch a funny movie at the theater. Anything that gets you out of the house and spend time with your friends and family will do.\\nThe hardest step is to leave the house, but once you do it and are out, you can often find yourself forgetting the sadness and enjoying life.\\nIf you cannot beat your sadness, consider seeking medical attention to determine if you may suffer from depression. Your doctor can prescribe antidepressants to treat depression.\\nSeasonal depression is a common condition; an estimated 6.7% of U.S. population suffered from at least one depressive episode in 2013.\\nCaution: serious, untreated depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know suffer from depression or a depressive episode, seek help immediately.\\n10. Learn to think more positively.\\nNegative thoughts and feelings have the capability to bring you down and lower your self-esteem.\\nLearning to see the positive side in life can have a transforming effect and allow you to release your fun-loving side.\\nYou may not always be able to control your external environment, but you can control your inner thoughts. Even in tough situations, thinking positively can help you overcome barriers and release your fun-loving side.\\nSeek situations that bring out the best in you and then learn to transfer that feeling to situations that might not bring out the best in you. This way you can learn to think positively even in situations that might normally bring out negative thoughts.\\nFocus on what is good in your life and write it down on a paper. Then carry that paper with you. When you find yourself down or unhappy, read through that list and try to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts (e.g., the glass is half full, not half empty).\\nYou can also break free from negative thoughts by telling yourself “I can” and not allowing disrespectful people or bad situations bring you down.\\n11. Honor and respect yourself.\\nBeing able to be more fun-loving means you need to honor and love yourself first.\\nHonoring yourself means to honor your life and what you have accomplished and created. This includes friendships, family, children, and even strangers that you have connected with.\\nIn order to honor yourself, you need to accept yourself for who you are. Only when you understand who you are and can embrace that person, can you bring your fun-loving side up.\\nTo learn to honor yourself, list your biggest achievements on a paper (e.g., graduated from school, had children, bought a house, climbed a mountain, achieved a personal goal, etc). Then, focus on those achievements and allow yourself to gain respect for yourself through them.\\n12. Break out of your comfort zone.\\nSometimes being more fun-loving means you need to allow yourself to try new things.\\nOften times we keep ourselves contained in a zone where we are comfortable, but that does not mean that is the place we are happiest.\\nAllow yourself to try new things, take chances, and have fun. However, there are limitations to what you can and what you should do and you should never try or do things that cause harm to you or others.\\nTo break out, first understand your comfort zone and how you tend to stay in it naturally. Once you understand your comfort zone, change your normal way of thinking and acting and slowly break out of it.\\nFor example, start by making a list of all the things that you do to avoid uncertainty (e.g., are there situations that you avoid, do you check on your kids constantly, do you suffer from lack of trust).\\nOnce you have your list, start by picking the small items that you can do to break out of the cycle (e.g., go to a place you have never visited before, seek situations you normally avoid, allow yourself to be more trusting).\\nKeep a record of all the times you succeeded in your goal and what happened (e.g., what happened when you visited a new place or pursued an unfamiliar situation).\\nTips\\nLife's too short to be miserable!\\nIt is all a state of mind so before you begin, forget all of the things that may make you sad and gloomy.\\nDon't dwell on the past but live for the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everybody loves spending time with energetic, fun-loving people—so how can you join the club? It's easier than you think. By working to become more bubbly and enthusiastic, you can totally wow everyone you meet. We're going to teach you everything you need to know, so you can approach life with a little more energy and happiness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Control your stress.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stress can be a debilitating condition associated with emotional and physical tension, and anxiety.\", \"描述\": \"In order to bring your fun-loving side up, try to reduce or eliminate stress in your life.\\nStress can result from both the negative (such as trouble at work or school) and positive (planning a friend's birthday party) events in your life.\\nNobody is a stranger to stress; however, if you experience stress long-term, it can negatively impact your health.\\nTake steps to control stress and allow yourself to be more fun loving. Stress can be controlled by exercising regularly, resting and relaxing enough, eating a healthy diet, and treating yourself to something special.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find an activity that makes you happy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to find an activity that makes you happy and excited.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important if you feel that you are not fun-loving because you never do anything that is fun or brings you joy.\\nThe activity that makes you happy can differ tremendously depending what type of person you are. Extroverts can find their happiness by seeking crowds and being in the center of attention, while introverts may find their energy in solitude. Whatever the activity, you need to figure it out yourself and then just do it.\\nIf you love the outdoors and enjoy the nature, go hiking, skiing, running, swimming, or bicycling. These are easy-to-do activities that require little planning and equipment and you can easily do by yourself.\\nOr try something new and go horseback riding, rock climbing, parasailing, backpacking, etc. You may surprise yourself and find an inner happiness you never knew existed.\\nIf you are the type that requires company and/or encouragement to try new things, ask your friend or spouse to come along. Finding a new hobby to do together can be a great way to bring your fun-loving side up too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engage in regular exercise.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercise helps improve your overall health, makes you stronger, and makes your body work more efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"All these combined will make you more energetic.\\n\\nChoose exercise activities that you enjoy. Some people associate exercising with going to the gym or physical education class, but that is only a small fraction of what exercise can be. You can go walking, hiking, dancing, bicycling, or jogging, or you can play tennis, golf, racquetball, or some other sport.\\nNot only will exercise improve your health and make you feel more energetic, it also helps you to become happier, more positive, and less anxious.\\nEngage in some form of physical exercise at least 3-4 times or 150 minutes per week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Our bodies need fuel for energy; that fuel is food.\", \"描述\": \"Build your diet around healthy, non-processed foods that provide all the necessary nutrients and help raise your energy levels.\\nAvoid foods high in sugar and low in nutrition (called empty-calorie foods), such as pre-packaged meals, chips, sodas, and candy bars. These foods actually decrease energy levels after providing a very short energy boost.\\nAn ideal mix of ingredients to eat includes foods that provide complex carbohydrates, are low in fat, and contain moderate amount of protein.\\nSpread your daily calories evenly and avoid skipping a meal only to have a huge meal later. If possible, eat five meals a day, keeping the amount of calories in a day where you want.\\nDo not skip any meals. This will cause a loss of energy. Your body needs food to keep going in the same way a vehicle needs gas to keep going.\\nAlso, drink plenty of water. Dehydration leads to low energy. Drink 8-9 glasses of water each day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Drink caffeine in moderation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consuming caffeine can have a positive effect on your energy levels.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to boosting your mental and physical energy, caffeine also increases your fat oxidation and metabolic rate.\\nCaution: caffeine is known to cause sleeplessness and jitteriness. The amount of caffeine you would need to consume to experience these effects differs from person to person and depends on your sensitivity to caffeine.\\nThe majority of healthy adults can safely consume caffeine in the amount of 400 milligrams (mg) a day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ensure you get all the necessary vitamins and minerals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"B vitamins and iron are important micronutrients that help support your energy levels.\", \"描述\": \"If you are deficient in these nutrients, you can experience lowered energy levels.\\nB vitamins and iron are extremely important for your body’s ability to create and use energy. Vitamin 12, vitamin 6, thiamine, niacin, and folic acid support your body’s energy metabolism, while iron is needed for healthy red blood cells that are responsible for carrying oxygen.\\nDeficiency in B vitamins and iron can lead to anemia and fatigue.\\nIf you are not getting enough of these and other micronutrients in your diet, consider taking a multivitamin with iron and essential B vitamins.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you suffer from lack of energy, it might be because you are not getting enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"According to the Sleep Foundation, adults should get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night.\\nMake sure you get enough sleep. Set a regular bedtime and stick to it every night, even during the weekends. If you need to adjust your bedtime, make small daily increments (15 min earlier every night) until you achieve the target bedtime. Also, wake up the same time every morning.\\nAvoid heavy meals and too much alcohol just before bedtime as these might make sleeping more difficult.\\nIf you suffer from insomnia or sleep disturbances, it can lead to fatigue and lack of motivation. However, fatigue can also be a sign of a more serious health condition. If you don't get energized by getting enough sleep and good nutrition, you should get evaluated by your doctor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Practice yoga.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing yoga can help reduce fatigue and boost your energy levels.\", \"描述\": \"It also offers other health benefits to your muscles and cardiovascular system.\\nDuring yoga poses, breathe deeply to bring fresh oxygen to your blood. This will stimulate your nervous system and make you feel more energetic.\\nTry the following breathing exercise: sit on the floor with your spine straight. Breathe in through your nose and count to four. Then exhale while counting to eight. Repeat.\\nTry the Uttanasana yoga pose, which is an energizing forward bend: start by standing and bending forward and down. Keep your knees slightly bent and allow your upper body to hang toward the toes. Breathe deeply, while allowing your spine to lengthen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Deal with sadness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Like stress, sadness or feeling blue can also affect your emotional and physical well-being.\", \"描述\": \"It can also dampen your fun-loving side.\\nIf you are sad, you may also suffer from low enthusiasm, lethargy, and/or low self-esteem. If you are feeling low in energy, drive, and hope, it is more challenging to be fun-loving.\\nSometimes beating sadness can be as easy as leaving the house and diverting your sadness to something positive and fun.\\nWhen you are feeling blue you might keep yourself isolated and avoid spending time with others. If you find yourself spending all your time alone at home, force yourself out of the house.\\nYou can go shopping, walking, or catch a funny movie at the theater. Anything that gets you out of the house and spend time with your friends and family will do.\\nThe hardest step is to leave the house, but once you do it and are out, you can often find yourself forgetting the sadness and enjoying life.\\nIf you cannot beat your sadness, consider seeking medical attention to determine if you may suffer from depression. Your doctor can prescribe antidepressants to treat depression.\\nSeasonal depression is a common condition; an estimated 6.7% of U.S. population suffered from at least one depressive episode in 2013.\\nCaution: serious, untreated depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know suffer from depression or a depressive episode, seek help immediately.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Learn to think more positively.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Negative thoughts and feelings have the capability to bring you down and lower your self-esteem.\", \"描述\": \"Learning to see the positive side in life can have a transforming effect and allow you to release your fun-loving side.\\nYou may not always be able to control your external environment, but you can control your inner thoughts. Even in tough situations, thinking positively can help you overcome barriers and release your fun-loving side.\\nSeek situations that bring out the best in you and then learn to transfer that feeling to situations that might not bring out the best in you. This way you can learn to think positively even in situations that might normally bring out negative thoughts.\\nFocus on what is good in your life and write it down on a paper. Then carry that paper with you. When you find yourself down or unhappy, read through that list and try to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts (e.g., the glass is half full, not half empty).\\nYou can also break free from negative thoughts by telling yourself “I can” and not allowing disrespectful people or bad situations bring you down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Honor and respect yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being able to be more fun-loving means you need to honor and love yourself first.\", \"描述\": \"Honoring yourself means to honor your life and what you have accomplished and created. This includes friendships, family, children, and even strangers that you have connected with.\\nIn order to honor yourself, you need to accept yourself for who you are. Only when you understand who you are and can embrace that person, can you bring your fun-loving side up.\\nTo learn to honor yourself, list your biggest achievements on a paper (e.g., graduated from school, had children, bought a house, climbed a mountain, achieved a personal goal, etc). Then, focus on those achievements and allow yourself to gain respect for yourself through them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Break out of your comfort zone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes being more fun-loving means you need to allow yourself to try new things.\", \"描述\": \"Often times we keep ourselves contained in a zone where we are comfortable, but that does not mean that is the place we are happiest.\\nAllow yourself to try new things, take chances, and have fun. However, there are limitations to what you can and what you should do and you should never try or do things that cause harm to you or others.\\nTo break out, first understand your comfort zone and how you tend to stay in it naturally. Once you understand your comfort zone, change your normal way of thinking and acting and slowly break out of it.\\nFor example, start by making a list of all the things that you do to avoid uncertainty (e.g., are there situations that you avoid, do you check on your kids constantly, do you suffer from lack of trust).\\nOnce you have your list, start by picking the small items that you can do to break out of the cycle (e.g., go to a place you have never visited before, seek situations you normally avoid, allow yourself to be more trusting).\\nKeep a record of all the times you succeeded in your goal and what happened (e.g., what happened when you visited a new place or pursued an unfamiliar situation).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Life's too short to be miserable!\\n\", \"It is all a state of mind so before you begin, forget all of the things that may make you sad and gloomy.\\n\", \"Don't dwell on the past but live for the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,701 | How to Be Energetic when You Are Playing a Sport | 1. Boosting Your Performance While Playing
1-1. Replace fluids lost from sweat.
During a game, you need to continually drink fluids to replace what you have lost in sweat. Keeping hydrated and eating to maintain hydration and blood sugar levels is key to maximizing your performance. If the game, sport, or competition will last for more than 1 hour, drink ½-1 cup of sports drink every 15-20 minutes. Drinks like Gatorade, Powerade, Isostar, or Lucozade Sport to replace lost sodium and electrolytes, which should help you to keep up your energy levels. Be sure to drink in small but frequent amounts so that you don't accidentally make yourself sick.
If you decide to drink sports drinks like Gatorade, consider watering them down so you're not drinking as much sugar.
1-2. Maintain your muscles' energy source.
It is possible that you might run into a situation where you're playing two games back to back, say in a tournament, and you'll find yourself unable to take the time to go eat a full meal--or maybe you just end up hungry during a regular game. In these cases, you will need to replenish your energy periodically during and between games with small, healthy snacks. You will want to pick a healthy food, like a banana, a handful of nuts, or a seed-based bar for example, that can fuel you for 6 to 8 hours ideally.
Try using your practices to experiment to find out which foods satisfy your energy needs best.
Make sure you don't choose foods that upset your stomach or cause you discomfort.
Be sure to eat small amounts of food often, say during your time spent on the bench or if your coach calls for a huddle, and bring multiple options to pick and choose from. If you eat something larger, your body will struggle to digest it and you won't get the benefit. There is also the added risk that you could vomit this larger snack up.
1-3. Consume some running gel.
People who participate in marathons or long-distance sports may find their energy flagging over time but without the ability to stop. For endurance athletes who need to replenish energy they've already used, invest in and eat some special gel made of concentrated carbs to get that quick fuel that you need to keep going. It's generally recommended to start taking the gels early on, within the first 45 to 60 minutes of your race, but not to use them as a substitute for a good breakfast.
Continue consuming the gels at a rate of 45 to 60 minutes per packet. Those with sensitive stomachs will want to make the time between snacks longer to avoid any potential stomach problems.
If you have stomach issues, try to consume the gels at a rate of ¼ a packet every 20 minutes to make the digestive process easier on your stomach.
Be careful; when you eat these gels, you will need to take them with water, and never with a sports drink.
GU, Huma, Honey Stinger, and Clif are just a few of many brands that produce gel shots you can take. Try looking for them at Walmart, on Amazon, or any sporting goods store.
Be sure to only use these for long distance running or extended periods of exertion; even runners participating in 5k events do not need these products.
Team sports and activities that don't have natural pauses require a little more planning to keep the body at its optimal level of hydration and blood sugar. It may be necessary to plan your day around the big game and as such eat a substantial meal a few hours in advance of the action. Half time in team sports is the perfect opportunity to get on board those slow release carbohydrates and hydration to ensure you finish as strong as you started.
1-4. Use your emotions to enhance your performance.
It is natural to become invested in the competition aspect of the game. This can make it hard to take losses well, but losing your cool could result in you losing your focus and potentially making mistakes. Instead of shouting and stomping and getting thrown out of the game, return to your position even more determined to win.
Focus only on what is your job and what you can control--what's already happened is done.
Remember to play within the scope of your game's rules: you don't want to be thrown out because of unsportsmanlike behavior such as elbowing someone in the face.
1-5. Smile and laugh.
If you're feeling down, anxious, or angry during the game and you are unable to refocus it into a positive spin, you should smile or laugh to shake the negative effects off. These actions stimulate chemicals that make us feel good, fight off stress, and act as anti-depressants. You will find it helps to elevate your mood, which will in turn improve your performance.
Try thinking back to a good memory, maybe a time you had fun with your friends, or some goal you recently achieved in your sport.
Try thinking of a joke that made you laugh, or asking someone to tell you one.
Tell someone else a joke--laughter and happiness are infectious, and if you can make them laugh, chances are you will at least smile if not laugh yourself.
1-6. Become absorbed in the game.
If you really want to reach your peak performance, you'll need to set aside all thoughts about other things. Forget about your worries about tests or that fight you had with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Ignore the crowd, the jeering from the other team or their fans, even distractions from other sources like loudspeakers or planes overhead. Concentrate only on the task that you have to do, and feel confident that you can do it, so that all of your energy and all of you is focused solely on the game.
This is all part of what many athletes commonly refer to as "getting in 'the zone.'" If you can get into the zone, your negative thoughts and worries will all fall away and you will become more self-confident.
2. Caring for your Physical Health
2-1. Eat properly.
In order to maintain a strong, healthy body that is fully energized, you need all kinds of minerals, vitamins, proteins, carbs, and even fats. Unfortunately, you cannot get everything you need from just one food, or even one food group. Current recommendations say that about half the food you eat should be fruits and vegetables and more grains than protein.
The amount of calories you should take in per day varies by age, gender, and lifestyle.
Don't skip meals, particularly on a game day. You get calories from the food you consume, which is then turned into energy for your muscles to burn. If you don't eat enough while exercising, you can suffer from exhaustion and hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar.
While prepackaged sports foods like granola or protein bars are convenient, the best foods for you to eat are going to be unprocessed foods, either raw (when possible) or home cooked.
5-6 hours before your game, eat a larger meal, ideally one high in complex carbohydrates. Try potatoes, whole brown rice, legumes, rolled oats, yams, or other whole foods that contain fiber.
Have a light and healthy snack like peanut butter or yogurt before you play.
2-2. Drink plenty of fluids.
The human body is roughly 60% water and needs it for a lot of different things, including cooling off. If your body starts to run low on water, you become "dehydrated." People who become severely dehydrated may suffer dizziness, moodiness, confusion, fever, headache, delirium, and even pass out.
The amount of water you need to drink on a daily basis depends on your age. 5 to 8 year olds need 5 glasses or 1 liter of water a day. 9 to 12 year olds should get 7 glasses or 1.5 liters a day. Teenagers should aim for 8 to 10 glasses, or 2 liters. Adults should have between 2.2 and 3 liters every day.
In hot and humid weather and before and during exercise, you will need to drink even more water than usual.
When not exercising, you should almost always choose water above any other drink. Although some drinks like fruit juice or sports drinks do have good things in them, like vitamins or electrolytes, they're also loaded with sugar and calories.
You can tell how your hydration is by looking at your pee: if it comes out dark yellow or amber, you're not drinking enough; if it is clear or pale in color then you're in good shape.
2-3. Get a full night's rest.
Sleep helps to keep you healthy, strengthens your immune system, speeds up recovery from injury, and promotes growth. This includes muscle repair and growth, which is exactly what athletes need to perform better. Without proper rest, you may find yourself feeling sleepy, slow, and unalert while trying to play.
How much sleep you need depends on your age. Kids 6-12 years of age need 9-12 hours and teens from 13-18 years old need 8-10 hours.Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
Keep to a set schedule even on the weekends to reinforce your body's natural sleep-wake cycle and promote better, deeper sleep at night.
It can be especially challenging if you're very excited or nervous to sleep well. Try distracting yourself from your nervous thoughts by reading a book, telling yourself a story, writing in a journal to exercise the thoughts, or listening to calming music. If you still can't sleep, try taking a short walk or a hot shower before trying to sleep again.
Avoid electronic devices that emit light, like smartphones, TVs, computers, and tablets, 30-60 minutes before bed. The light these items put off makes it harder for you to sleep, which may result in fatigue the next day.
2-4. Warm up.
Before you step foot on the court, pitcher's mound, or even just plain exercise, be sure to adequately warm yourself up. A good warm-up should last between 15 and 30 minutes and not begin too far in advance. It should get your heart rate up, stretch your muscles to increase your range of motion in your joints, and incorporate drills and exercises specific to your sport to prepare you for the game's demands. Start by getting your pulse up first, follow that by stretching, and end it with your drills, like dribbling, passing, or serving.
You can ask your coach for help with determining a good warm-up routine, including the proper sport-specific drills that are most beneficial to you.
2-5. Practice to develop muscle memory.
Nobody is born knowing how to dribble a basketball, hit a home run, or stop a quarterback sneak. After you have learned to do something, you then need to develop a muscle memory for it. Muscle memory is when a specific movement is repeated often enough over time so as to make it performed without conscious effort.
As you improve you will find your self-confidence, enthusiasm, and energy for the game increasing as well.
Ideally, you should at least attend as many of the official practices with your team as possible. This helps build your relationship with your team and your coach so you can all perform better as a whole.
When possible, practice with family and friends on days that you're not officially practicing with your team. The more practice you have before the game day, the better.
3. Maintaining your Mental Health
3-1. Think and talk positively.
Going in with a good attitude about how the game is going to turn out and how you can perform will help you to build enthusiasm and self-confidence. In fact, successful athletes possess a multitude of mental skills, including maintaining a positive attitude and using positive self-talk. Try not to focus on the negatives or failures but to reflect on the positives.
Make a list of your best skills and all the things you've improved on in the last weeks, months, or even years. Write these things down, and use them to give yourself a pep talk. "I am the best at blocking on my team, and I've really improved on my free-throws. I know I can do this!"
Talk to yourself like you were talking to your best friend: would you blame them for missing a catch, or would you encourage them to believe that they can get it next time?
When you find yourself feeling down, use positive self-talk to pull your mood up. "Hey, I know that I messed up back there, but I tried my best, and I learned something new. I'm going to practice all this week, and I'll do better next time!"
If you need a bigger pep-talk going into the game, talk to your friends, coach, or even your parents. Ask them what areas they think you do well in, where you can improve, and ask for their help.
3-2. Visualize your goals.
Before it's time to go out and play, get your mind in the zone by closing your eyes and picturing yourself doing well, whether you're dribbling the ball, passing the puck, or running across home base. Studies have found that even as little as five minutes of mental visualizations boost performance significantly, even for novices and amateurs. What happens is because you "see" yourself performing perfectly, your brain creates a neural pattern for your muscles to follow.
You will want to incorporate all of your senses--sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste--into the fantasy and make it as detailed as possible, right down to picturing the crowds, the weather, and the feel of the ball in your hands.
Just like practicing your actual moves, you will need to practice your visualization techniques in order to make it easier for yourself.
Make sure your mental images are realistic. Not even Michael Jordan could dunk a basketball from 300 feet away; don't set goals for yourself that you can't reach.
3-3. Listen to empowering music.
A lot of athletes like to listen to songs with a fast beat and uplifting or empowering lyrics before starting a game. It's easy to channel nervous energy into positive excitement when you have messages telling you that you can do it to sing or hum along to. Try building your own playlist to listen to on an MP3 player or use free services like Youtube or Bandcamp on your phone or a tablet right before you're due to start.
3-4. Practice good daily habits.
Although we often think of babies throwing fits because they're tired, hungry, or thirsty, older kids, teenagers, and even grown adults are just as susceptible to mood fluctuations due to certain imbalances. The same activities--eating, sleeping, and drinking correctly--that keep our bodies healthy also help to support a healthy mind. While some strong emotions like disappointment, excitement, and anger are an expected part of playing, you can help to make sure they are within a healthy range by maintaining good practices up to and during your games.
Scientific evidence supports the concept of people becoming "hangry" if they haven't eaten enough.
Sleep deprived people can easily become more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted.
Mild dehydration causes anger and mood swings.
Tips
You may have heard of the technique "carbohydrate loading." This is a technique used by marathon runners and some other competitive athletes in which individuals eat extra carbohydrates during the week before a competition and cut back on training at the same time. This technique is not helpful for most athletes. Unless you're planning on competing in some endurance based sport that lasts 90 minutes or longer, just skip this.[40]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source
You can also show good energy by rooting and congratulating your teammates for their efforts and practicing good sportsmanship toward your rival teams.
Warnings
If at any point during the game you start to feel nauseated, fatigued, or dizzy, talk with your coach. These could be signs that something is seriously wrong.
Do not, under any circumstances, take anabolic steroids. These drugs can cause all kinds of health problems, ranging from acne, increased chance of infection, severe mood swings, depression, heart attacks, and liver cancer.[41]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Agency in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services devoted to researching drug and drug abuse and educating the public
Go to source
Not only are they illegal, many professional leagues ban the use of these drugs; should you choose to pursue a profession within your sport later on in life, you might risk your freedom and your career by using them.[42]
X
Research source
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Boosting Your Performance While Playing\\n1-1. Replace fluids lost from sweat.\\nDuring a game, you need to continually drink fluids to replace what you have lost in sweat. Keeping hydrated and eating to maintain hydration and blood sugar levels is key to maximizing your performance. If the game, sport, or competition will last for more than 1 hour, drink ½-1 cup of sports drink every 15-20 minutes. Drinks like Gatorade, Powerade, Isostar, or Lucozade Sport to replace lost sodium and electrolytes, which should help you to keep up your energy levels. Be sure to drink in small but frequent amounts so that you don't accidentally make yourself sick.\\nIf you decide to drink sports drinks like Gatorade, consider watering them down so you're not drinking as much sugar.\\n1-2. Maintain your muscles' energy source.\\nIt is possible that you might run into a situation where you're playing two games back to back, say in a tournament, and you'll find yourself unable to take the time to go eat a full meal--or maybe you just end up hungry during a regular game. In these cases, you will need to replenish your energy periodically during and between games with small, healthy snacks. You will want to pick a healthy food, like a banana, a handful of nuts, or a seed-based bar for example, that can fuel you for 6 to 8 hours ideally.\\nTry using your practices to experiment to find out which foods satisfy your energy needs best.\\nMake sure you don't choose foods that upset your stomach or cause you discomfort.\\nBe sure to eat small amounts of food often, say during your time spent on the bench or if your coach calls for a huddle, and bring multiple options to pick and choose from. If you eat something larger, your body will struggle to digest it and you won't get the benefit. There is also the added risk that you could vomit this larger snack up.\\n1-3. Consume some running gel.\\nPeople who participate in marathons or long-distance sports may find their energy flagging over time but without the ability to stop. For endurance athletes who need to replenish energy they've already used, invest in and eat some special gel made of concentrated carbs to get that quick fuel that you need to keep going. It's generally recommended to start taking the gels early on, within the first 45 to 60 minutes of your race, but not to use them as a substitute for a good breakfast.\\nContinue consuming the gels at a rate of 45 to 60 minutes per packet. Those with sensitive stomachs will want to make the time between snacks longer to avoid any potential stomach problems.\\nIf you have stomach issues, try to consume the gels at a rate of ¼ a packet every 20 minutes to make the digestive process easier on your stomach.\\nBe careful; when you eat these gels, you will need to take them with water, and never with a sports drink.\\nGU, Huma, Honey Stinger, and Clif are just a few of many brands that produce gel shots you can take. Try looking for them at Walmart, on Amazon, or any sporting goods store.\\nBe sure to only use these for long distance running or extended periods of exertion; even runners participating in 5k events do not need these products. \\nTeam sports and activities that don't have natural pauses require a little more planning to keep the body at its optimal level of hydration and blood sugar. It may be necessary to plan your day around the big game and as such eat a substantial meal a few hours in advance of the action. Half time in team sports is the perfect opportunity to get on board those slow release carbohydrates and hydration to ensure you finish as strong as you started.\\n1-4. Use your emotions to enhance your performance.\\nIt is natural to become invested in the competition aspect of the game. This can make it hard to take losses well, but losing your cool could result in you losing your focus and potentially making mistakes. Instead of shouting and stomping and getting thrown out of the game, return to your position even more determined to win.\\nFocus only on what is your job and what you can control--what's already happened is done.\\nRemember to play within the scope of your game's rules: you don't want to be thrown out because of unsportsmanlike behavior such as elbowing someone in the face.\\n1-5. Smile and laugh.\\nIf you're feeling down, anxious, or angry during the game and you are unable to refocus it into a positive spin, you should smile or laugh to shake the negative effects off. These actions stimulate chemicals that make us feel good, fight off stress, and act as anti-depressants. You will find it helps to elevate your mood, which will in turn improve your performance.\\nTry thinking back to a good memory, maybe a time you had fun with your friends, or some goal you recently achieved in your sport.\\nTry thinking of a joke that made you laugh, or asking someone to tell you one.\\nTell someone else a joke--laughter and happiness are infectious, and if you can make them laugh, chances are you will at least smile if not laugh yourself.\\n1-6. Become absorbed in the game.\\nIf you really want to reach your peak performance, you'll need to set aside all thoughts about other things. Forget about your worries about tests or that fight you had with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Ignore the crowd, the jeering from the other team or their fans, even distractions from other sources like loudspeakers or planes overhead. Concentrate only on the task that you have to do, and feel confident that you can do it, so that all of your energy and all of you is focused solely on the game.\\nThis is all part of what many athletes commonly refer to as \\\"getting in 'the zone.'\\\" If you can get into the zone, your negative thoughts and worries will all fall away and you will become more self-confident.\\n2. Caring for your Physical Health\\n2-1. Eat properly.\\nIn order to maintain a strong, healthy body that is fully energized, you need all kinds of minerals, vitamins, proteins, carbs, and even fats. Unfortunately, you cannot get everything you need from just one food, or even one food group. Current recommendations say that about half the food you eat should be fruits and vegetables and more grains than protein.\\nThe amount of calories you should take in per day varies by age, gender, and lifestyle.\\nDon't skip meals, particularly on a game day. You get calories from the food you consume, which is then turned into energy for your muscles to burn. If you don't eat enough while exercising, you can suffer from exhaustion and hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar.\\nWhile prepackaged sports foods like granola or protein bars are convenient, the best foods for you to eat are going to be unprocessed foods, either raw (when possible) or home cooked.\\n5-6 hours before your game, eat a larger meal, ideally one high in complex carbohydrates. Try potatoes, whole brown rice, legumes, rolled oats, yams, or other whole foods that contain fiber.\\nHave a light and healthy snack like peanut butter or yogurt before you play.\\n2-2. Drink plenty of fluids.\\nThe human body is roughly 60% water and needs it for a lot of different things, including cooling off. If your body starts to run low on water, you become \\\"dehydrated.\\\" People who become severely dehydrated may suffer dizziness, moodiness, confusion, fever, headache, delirium, and even pass out.\\nThe amount of water you need to drink on a daily basis depends on your age. 5 to 8 year olds need 5 glasses or 1 liter of water a day. 9 to 12 year olds should get 7 glasses or 1.5 liters a day. Teenagers should aim for 8 to 10 glasses, or 2 liters. Adults should have between 2.2 and 3 liters every day.\\nIn hot and humid weather and before and during exercise, you will need to drink even more water than usual.\\nWhen not exercising, you should almost always choose water above any other drink. Although some drinks like fruit juice or sports drinks do have good things in them, like vitamins or electrolytes, they're also loaded with sugar and calories.\\nYou can tell how your hydration is by looking at your pee: if it comes out dark yellow or amber, you're not drinking enough; if it is clear or pale in color then you're in good shape.\\n2-3. Get a full night's rest.\\nSleep helps to keep you healthy, strengthens your immune system, speeds up recovery from injury, and promotes growth. This includes muscle repair and growth, which is exactly what athletes need to perform better. Without proper rest, you may find yourself feeling sleepy, slow, and unalert while trying to play.\\nHow much sleep you need depends on your age. Kids 6-12 years of age need 9-12 hours and teens from 13-18 years old need 8-10 hours.Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night.\\nKeep to a set schedule even on the weekends to reinforce your body's natural sleep-wake cycle and promote better, deeper sleep at night.\\nIt can be especially challenging if you're very excited or nervous to sleep well. Try distracting yourself from your nervous thoughts by reading a book, telling yourself a story, writing in a journal to exercise the thoughts, or listening to calming music. If you still can't sleep, try taking a short walk or a hot shower before trying to sleep again.\\nAvoid electronic devices that emit light, like smartphones, TVs, computers, and tablets, 30-60 minutes before bed. The light these items put off makes it harder for you to sleep, which may result in fatigue the next day.\\n2-4. Warm up.\\nBefore you step foot on the court, pitcher's mound, or even just plain exercise, be sure to adequately warm yourself up. A good warm-up should last between 15 and 30 minutes and not begin too far in advance. It should get your heart rate up, stretch your muscles to increase your range of motion in your joints, and incorporate drills and exercises specific to your sport to prepare you for the game's demands. Start by getting your pulse up first, follow that by stretching, and end it with your drills, like dribbling, passing, or serving.\\nYou can ask your coach for help with determining a good warm-up routine, including the proper sport-specific drills that are most beneficial to you.\\n2-5. Practice to develop muscle memory.\\nNobody is born knowing how to dribble a basketball, hit a home run, or stop a quarterback sneak. After you have learned to do something, you then need to develop a muscle memory for it. Muscle memory is when a specific movement is repeated often enough over time so as to make it performed without conscious effort.\\nAs you improve you will find your self-confidence, enthusiasm, and energy for the game increasing as well.\\nIdeally, you should at least attend as many of the official practices with your team as possible. This helps build your relationship with your team and your coach so you can all perform better as a whole.\\nWhen possible, practice with family and friends on days that you're not officially practicing with your team. The more practice you have before the game day, the better.\\n3. Maintaining your Mental Health\\n3-1. Think and talk positively.\\nGoing in with a good attitude about how the game is going to turn out and how you can perform will help you to build enthusiasm and self-confidence. In fact, successful athletes possess a multitude of mental skills, including maintaining a positive attitude and using positive self-talk. Try not to focus on the negatives or failures but to reflect on the positives.\\nMake a list of your best skills and all the things you've improved on in the last weeks, months, or even years. Write these things down, and use them to give yourself a pep talk. \\\"I am the best at blocking on my team, and I've really improved on my free-throws. I know I can do this!\\\"\\nTalk to yourself like you were talking to your best friend: would you blame them for missing a catch, or would you encourage them to believe that they can get it next time?\\nWhen you find yourself feeling down, use positive self-talk to pull your mood up. \\\"Hey, I know that I messed up back there, but I tried my best, and I learned something new. I'm going to practice all this week, and I'll do better next time!\\\"\\nIf you need a bigger pep-talk going into the game, talk to your friends, coach, or even your parents. Ask them what areas they think you do well in, where you can improve, and ask for their help.\\n3-2. Visualize your goals.\\nBefore it's time to go out and play, get your mind in the zone by closing your eyes and picturing yourself doing well, whether you're dribbling the ball, passing the puck, or running across home base. Studies have found that even as little as five minutes of mental visualizations boost performance significantly, even for novices and amateurs. What happens is because you \\\"see\\\" yourself performing perfectly, your brain creates a neural pattern for your muscles to follow.\\nYou will want to incorporate all of your senses--sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste--into the fantasy and make it as detailed as possible, right down to picturing the crowds, the weather, and the feel of the ball in your hands.\\nJust like practicing your actual moves, you will need to practice your visualization techniques in order to make it easier for yourself.\\nMake sure your mental images are realistic. Not even Michael Jordan could dunk a basketball from 300 feet away; don't set goals for yourself that you can't reach.\\n3-3. Listen to empowering music.\\nA lot of athletes like to listen to songs with a fast beat and uplifting or empowering lyrics before starting a game. It's easy to channel nervous energy into positive excitement when you have messages telling you that you can do it to sing or hum along to. Try building your own playlist to listen to on an MP3 player or use free services like Youtube or Bandcamp on your phone or a tablet right before you're due to start.\\n3-4. Practice good daily habits.\\nAlthough we often think of babies throwing fits because they're tired, hungry, or thirsty, older kids, teenagers, and even grown adults are just as susceptible to mood fluctuations due to certain imbalances. The same activities--eating, sleeping, and drinking correctly--that keep our bodies healthy also help to support a healthy mind. While some strong emotions like disappointment, excitement, and anger are an expected part of playing, you can help to make sure they are within a healthy range by maintaining good practices up to and during your games.\\nScientific evidence supports the concept of people becoming \\\"hangry\\\" if they haven't eaten enough.\\nSleep deprived people can easily become more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted.\\nMild dehydration causes anger and mood swings.\\nTips\\nYou may have heard of the technique \\\"carbohydrate loading.\\\" This is a technique used by marathon runners and some other competitive athletes in which individuals eat extra carbohydrates during the week before a competition and cut back on training at the same time. This technique is not helpful for most athletes. Unless you're planning on competing in some endurance based sport that lasts 90 minutes or longer, just skip this.[40]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\nYou can also show good energy by rooting and congratulating your teammates for their efforts and practicing good sportsmanship toward your rival teams.\\nWarnings\\nIf at any point during the game you start to feel nauseated, fatigued, or dizzy, talk with your coach. These could be signs that something is seriously wrong.\\nDo not, under any circumstances, take anabolic steroids. These drugs can cause all kinds of health problems, ranging from acne, increased chance of infection, severe mood swings, depression, heart attacks, and liver cancer.[41]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nNational Institute on Drug Abuse\\nAgency in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services devoted to researching drug and drug abuse and educating the public\\nGo to source\\n\\n Not only are they illegal, many professional leagues ban the use of these drugs; should you choose to pursue a profession within your sport later on in life, you might risk your freedom and your career by using them.[42]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Playing a sport, and especially playing it well, is hard work that requires a lot of energy. If you try to compete without the necessary preparations, some of which must begin weeks in advance, you may find you lose stamina too quickly, resulting in poor performance. Not to worry, though: by carefully managing both your physical and mental well-being on a daily basis and applying techniques to boost your performance during play, your worries can be a thing of the past.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boosting Your Performance While Playing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Replace fluids lost from sweat.\", \"描述\": \"During a game, you need to continually drink fluids to replace what you have lost in sweat. Keeping hydrated and eating to maintain hydration and blood sugar levels is key to maximizing your performance. If the game, sport, or competition will last for more than 1 hour, drink ½-1 cup of sports drink every 15-20 minutes. Drinks like Gatorade, Powerade, Isostar, or Lucozade Sport to replace lost sodium and electrolytes, which should help you to keep up your energy levels. Be sure to drink in small but frequent amounts so that you don't accidentally make yourself sick.\\nIf you decide to drink sports drinks like Gatorade, consider watering them down so you're not drinking as much sugar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain your muscles' energy source.\", \"描述\": \"It is possible that you might run into a situation where you're playing two games back to back, say in a tournament, and you'll find yourself unable to take the time to go eat a full meal--or maybe you just end up hungry during a regular game. In these cases, you will need to replenish your energy periodically during and between games with small, healthy snacks. You will want to pick a healthy food, like a banana, a handful of nuts, or a seed-based bar for example, that can fuel you for 6 to 8 hours ideally.\\nTry using your practices to experiment to find out which foods satisfy your energy needs best.\\nMake sure you don't choose foods that upset your stomach or cause you discomfort.\\nBe sure to eat small amounts of food often, say during your time spent on the bench or if your coach calls for a huddle, and bring multiple options to pick and choose from. If you eat something larger, your body will struggle to digest it and you won't get the benefit. There is also the added risk that you could vomit this larger snack up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consume some running gel.\", \"描述\": \"People who participate in marathons or long-distance sports may find their energy flagging over time but without the ability to stop. For endurance athletes who need to replenish energy they've already used, invest in and eat some special gel made of concentrated carbs to get that quick fuel that you need to keep going. It's generally recommended to start taking the gels early on, within the first 45 to 60 minutes of your race, but not to use them as a substitute for a good breakfast.\\nContinue consuming the gels at a rate of 45 to 60 minutes per packet. Those with sensitive stomachs will want to make the time between snacks longer to avoid any potential stomach problems.\\nIf you have stomach issues, try to consume the gels at a rate of ¼ a packet every 20 minutes to make the digestive process easier on your stomach.\\nBe careful; when you eat these gels, you will need to take them with water, and never with a sports drink.\\nGU, Huma, Honey Stinger, and Clif are just a few of many brands that produce gel shots you can take. Try looking for them at Walmart, on Amazon, or any sporting goods store.\\nBe sure to only use these for long distance running or extended periods of exertion; even runners participating in 5k events do not need these products. \\nTeam sports and activities that don't have natural pauses require a little more planning to keep the body at its optimal level of hydration and blood sugar. It may be necessary to plan your day around the big game and as such eat a substantial meal a few hours in advance of the action. Half time in team sports is the perfect opportunity to get on board those slow release carbohydrates and hydration to ensure you finish as strong as you started.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use your emotions to enhance your performance.\", \"描述\": \"It is natural to become invested in the competition aspect of the game. This can make it hard to take losses well, but losing your cool could result in you losing your focus and potentially making mistakes. Instead of shouting and stomping and getting thrown out of the game, return to your position even more determined to win.\\nFocus only on what is your job and what you can control--what's already happened is done.\\nRemember to play within the scope of your game's rules: you don't want to be thrown out because of unsportsmanlike behavior such as elbowing someone in the face.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile and laugh.\", \"描述\": \"If you're feeling down, anxious, or angry during the game and you are unable to refocus it into a positive spin, you should smile or laugh to shake the negative effects off. These actions stimulate chemicals that make us feel good, fight off stress, and act as anti-depressants. You will find it helps to elevate your mood, which will in turn improve your performance.\\nTry thinking back to a good memory, maybe a time you had fun with your friends, or some goal you recently achieved in your sport.\\nTry thinking of a joke that made you laugh, or asking someone to tell you one.\\nTell someone else a joke--laughter and happiness are infectious, and if you can make them laugh, chances are you will at least smile if not laugh yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Become absorbed in the game.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to reach your peak performance, you'll need to set aside all thoughts about other things. Forget about your worries about tests or that fight you had with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Ignore the crowd, the jeering from the other team or their fans, even distractions from other sources like loudspeakers or planes overhead. Concentrate only on the task that you have to do, and feel confident that you can do it, so that all of your energy and all of you is focused solely on the game.\\nThis is all part of what many athletes commonly refer to as \\\"getting in 'the zone.'\\\" If you can get into the zone, your negative thoughts and worries will all fall away and you will become more self-confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Caring for your Physical Health\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat properly.\", \"描述\": \"In order to maintain a strong, healthy body that is fully energized, you need all kinds of minerals, vitamins, proteins, carbs, and even fats. Unfortunately, you cannot get everything you need from just one food, or even one food group. Current recommendations say that about half the food you eat should be fruits and vegetables and more grains than protein.\\nThe amount of calories you should take in per day varies by age, gender, and lifestyle.\\nDon't skip meals, particularly on a game day. You get calories from the food you consume, which is then turned into energy for your muscles to burn. If you don't eat enough while exercising, you can suffer from exhaustion and hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar.\\nWhile prepackaged sports foods like granola or protein bars are convenient, the best foods for you to eat are going to be unprocessed foods, either raw (when possible) or home cooked.\\n5-6 hours before your game, eat a larger meal, ideally one high in complex carbohydrates. Try potatoes, whole brown rice, legumes, rolled oats, yams, or other whole foods that contain fiber.\\nHave a light and healthy snack like peanut butter or yogurt before you play.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drink plenty of fluids.\", \"描述\": \"The human body is roughly 60% water and needs it for a lot of different things, including cooling off. If your body starts to run low on water, you become \\\"dehydrated.\\\" People who become severely dehydrated may suffer dizziness, moodiness, confusion, fever, headache, delirium, and even pass out.\\nThe amount of water you need to drink on a daily basis depends on your age. 5 to 8 year olds need 5 glasses or 1 liter of water a day. 9 to 12 year olds should get 7 glasses or 1.5 liters a day. Teenagers should aim for 8 to 10 glasses, or 2 liters. Adults should have between 2.2 and 3 liters every day.\\nIn hot and humid weather and before and during exercise, you will need to drink even more water than usual.\\nWhen not exercising, you should almost always choose water above any other drink. Although some drinks like fruit juice or sports drinks do have good things in them, like vitamins or electrolytes, they're also loaded with sugar and calories.\\nYou can tell how your hydration is by looking at your pee: if it comes out dark yellow or amber, you're not drinking enough; if it is clear or pale in color then you're in good shape.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a full night's rest.\", \"描述\": \"Sleep helps to keep you healthy, strengthens your immune system, speeds up recovery from injury, and promotes growth. This includes muscle repair and growth, which is exactly what athletes need to perform better. Without proper rest, you may find yourself feeling sleepy, slow, and unalert while trying to play.\\nHow much sleep you need depends on your age. Kids 6-12 years of age need 9-12 hours and teens from 13-18 years old need 8-10 hours.Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night.\\nKeep to a set schedule even on the weekends to reinforce your body's natural sleep-wake cycle and promote better, deeper sleep at night.\\nIt can be especially challenging if you're very excited or nervous to sleep well. Try distracting yourself from your nervous thoughts by reading a book, telling yourself a story, writing in a journal to exercise the thoughts, or listening to calming music. If you still can't sleep, try taking a short walk or a hot shower before trying to sleep again.\\nAvoid electronic devices that emit light, like smartphones, TVs, computers, and tablets, 30-60 minutes before bed. The light these items put off makes it harder for you to sleep, which may result in fatigue the next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Warm up.\", \"描述\": \"Before you step foot on the court, pitcher's mound, or even just plain exercise, be sure to adequately warm yourself up. A good warm-up should last between 15 and 30 minutes and not begin too far in advance. It should get your heart rate up, stretch your muscles to increase your range of motion in your joints, and incorporate drills and exercises specific to your sport to prepare you for the game's demands. Start by getting your pulse up first, follow that by stretching, and end it with your drills, like dribbling, passing, or serving.\\nYou can ask your coach for help with determining a good warm-up routine, including the proper sport-specific drills that are most beneficial to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice to develop muscle memory.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody is born knowing how to dribble a basketball, hit a home run, or stop a quarterback sneak. After you have learned to do something, you then need to develop a muscle memory for it. Muscle memory is when a specific movement is repeated often enough over time so as to make it performed without conscious effort.\\nAs you improve you will find your self-confidence, enthusiasm, and energy for the game increasing as well.\\nIdeally, you should at least attend as many of the official practices with your team as possible. This helps build your relationship with your team and your coach so you can all perform better as a whole.\\nWhen possible, practice with family and friends on days that you're not officially practicing with your team. The more practice you have before the game day, the better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining your Mental Health\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think and talk positively.\", \"描述\": \"Going in with a good attitude about how the game is going to turn out and how you can perform will help you to build enthusiasm and self-confidence. In fact, successful athletes possess a multitude of mental skills, including maintaining a positive attitude and using positive self-talk. Try not to focus on the negatives or failures but to reflect on the positives.\\nMake a list of your best skills and all the things you've improved on in the last weeks, months, or even years. Write these things down, and use them to give yourself a pep talk. \\\"I am the best at blocking on my team, and I've really improved on my free-throws. I know I can do this!\\\"\\nTalk to yourself like you were talking to your best friend: would you blame them for missing a catch, or would you encourage them to believe that they can get it next time?\\nWhen you find yourself feeling down, use positive self-talk to pull your mood up. \\\"Hey, I know that I messed up back there, but I tried my best, and I learned something new. I'm going to practice all this week, and I'll do better next time!\\\"\\nIf you need a bigger pep-talk going into the game, talk to your friends, coach, or even your parents. Ask them what areas they think you do well in, where you can improve, and ask for their help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Visualize your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Before it's time to go out and play, get your mind in the zone by closing your eyes and picturing yourself doing well, whether you're dribbling the ball, passing the puck, or running across home base. Studies have found that even as little as five minutes of mental visualizations boost performance significantly, even for novices and amateurs. What happens is because you \\\"see\\\" yourself performing perfectly, your brain creates a neural pattern for your muscles to follow.\\nYou will want to incorporate all of your senses--sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste--into the fantasy and make it as detailed as possible, right down to picturing the crowds, the weather, and the feel of the ball in your hands.\\nJust like practicing your actual moves, you will need to practice your visualization techniques in order to make it easier for yourself.\\nMake sure your mental images are realistic. Not even Michael Jordan could dunk a basketball from 300 feet away; don't set goals for yourself that you can't reach.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to empowering music.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of athletes like to listen to songs with a fast beat and uplifting or empowering lyrics before starting a game. It's easy to channel nervous energy into positive excitement when you have messages telling you that you can do it to sing or hum along to. Try building your own playlist to listen to on an MP3 player or use free services like Youtube or Bandcamp on your phone or a tablet right before you're due to start.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice good daily habits.\", \"描述\": \"Although we often think of babies throwing fits because they're tired, hungry, or thirsty, older kids, teenagers, and even grown adults are just as susceptible to mood fluctuations due to certain imbalances. The same activities--eating, sleeping, and drinking correctly--that keep our bodies healthy also help to support a healthy mind. While some strong emotions like disappointment, excitement, and anger are an expected part of playing, you can help to make sure they are within a healthy range by maintaining good practices up to and during your games.\\nScientific evidence supports the concept of people becoming \\\"hangry\\\" if they haven't eaten enough.\\nSleep deprived people can easily become more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted.\\nMild dehydration causes anger and mood swings.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You may have heard of the technique \\\"carbohydrate loading.\\\" This is a technique used by marathon runners and some other competitive athletes in which individuals eat extra carbohydrates during the week before a competition and cut back on training at the same time. This technique is not helpful for most athletes. Unless you're planning on competing in some endurance based sport that lasts 90 minutes or longer, just skip this.[40]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\", \"You can also show good energy by rooting and congratulating your teammates for their efforts and practicing good sportsmanship toward your rival teams.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If at any point during the game you start to feel nauseated, fatigued, or dizzy, talk with your coach. These could be signs that something is seriously wrong.\\n\", \"Do not, under any circumstances, take anabolic steroids. These drugs can cause all kinds of health problems, ranging from acne, increased chance of infection, severe mood swings, depression, heart attacks, and liver cancer.[41]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nNational Institute on Drug Abuse\\nAgency in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services devoted to researching drug and drug abuse and educating the public\\nGo to source\\n\\n Not only are they illegal, many professional leagues ban the use of these drugs; should you choose to pursue a profession within your sport later on in life, you might risk your freedom and your career by using them.[42]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,702 | How to Be Enigmatic | 1. Speaking Enigmatically
1-1. Speak only when you have something to say.
If you want to cultivate a mysterious and enigmatic presence, leave some things unsaid. Train yourself to hold back on sharing your thoughts all of the time, not because you're shy and meek, but because you're comfortable enough in your own skin. Talk when you know it's essential, but don't feel the need to speak every chance you get.
Culturally, we often mistake fast-talkers for smart-talkers, but pauses in conversation have a power all of their own. Allow for reflection and silence in conversations, letting what is said sink in. This will give weight to your words and a gravity to your presence. Sometimes it's not so much what you say as what you do not say that people will remember.
1-2. Play devil's advocate.
Enigmatic people are often unpredictable, suddenly voicing an opinion you might have thought counter to their opinions or presence in general. Don't follow the crowd. Instead, look for new ways of seeing and try to think creatively around topics. Ask questions instead of agreeing to avoid conflict.
If three people at a meeting have already spoken up for one way of solving a problem, play devil's advocate, even if you think they're probably right, or stay quiet. There's little sense in being another voice in the crowd, saying the same thing.
Ask lots of questions to make sure that decisions are the smartest possible. Clarify, specify, and interrogate all ideas to get to the heart of the matter.
1-3. Steer conversations in serious directions.
Small talk is by nature banal. We talk about the weather, work hassles, childcare, traffic snarls, the cost of living. Enigmatic people might prefer to have one-on-one conversations that go deeper. Learn to take creative turns in your conversational skills and head for the deeper waters of discourse.
If you find yourself at a party, confronted with a parade of dull getting-to-know-you talk, try to find one person who's willing to have a different sort of conversation and engage. Lead with an unusual question, or a probing follow-up. If someone mentions off-hand that they liked a movie, instead of agreeing, ask "Why?"
1-4. Use unusual colloquialisms.
Be creative and say things that will make people sit up and take notice, instead of things that will fade into the background of conversations. If someone asks how you're doing, you could say, "So-so" and be forgotten in an instant. Or, you could say, "I feel like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." If someone asks how the baseball game turned out, you could say "Terrible" or you could say that it was "Like slurping hot lead." People will take notice.
1-5. Build up a powerful vocabulary.
Spend time every day learning a few new words and practicing them in your conversations. Using precise and accurate diction in your everyday conversations will help you to stand out among the text-speak and the other chatter.
2. Keeping Some Distance
2-1. Share less about yourself.
Social networking has changed the way we relate to each other, stripping much of the mystery from ourselves. It can sometimes be hard to change people's perceptions of you because they've heard too much about who you think you are now. Don't box yourself in in conversations online or in person. Instead, be judicious with what you tell acquaintances and strangers about yourself, and be more generous with those closer to you.
Apart from those closest to you, there's no need to broadcast your whereabouts all the time, or your interests and tastes about every little thing. If someone asks where you're going, just evade it. "I'll be around later."
Remove the location information and updates from your social networking accounts such as Twitter and Facebook. Online, stop calling yourself a citizen of a particular nation. Strip as much personal information from your accounts as possible.
2-2. Choose your friends wisely.
Some people are open and trusting, appealing for the love of others almost instantly. Enigmatic people, on the other hand, exercise a great deal of discretion in whom they place that trust. Trust and respect are things to be earned with time and experience, not to be assumed. People should have to work to get close to you.
Spend time with people one-on-one, instead of in larger groups. Enigmatic traits are more difficult to tease out when you're in larger groups. Get to know people for who they are, not who they pretend to be in public settings.
If you want to be enigmatic, you also need to learn when it's okay to let people close enough to you. Enigmas aren't hermits. Even enigmatic people have people in their lives to trust and to lean upon. It just may be fewer than what we might think of as a cultural ideal.
2-3. Stay calm under pressure
Enigmatic people can control their emotions and passions so that the front they present to the world appears composed, calm and unruffled. This isn't to say that you lack passion or emotion, but that you're in control of those emotions. Good or bad, be unflappable.
Enigmatic people don't need to be martyrs. if you have ongoing pain, physical or emotional, see your doctor. Stay healthy and you won't have to worry about masking it. Look after your body and health so that you can stay strong in any situation.
2-4. Live in the present.
Where does an enigmatic person come from? Parts unknown. Where is an enigmatic person going? Anywhere. Don't dwell in the past, or in dreams about the future. Instead, focus on living in the moment and being fully present in the here and now. Be spontaneous and willing to adjust to the situation and you'll be as enigmatic as the world around you.
If you're upset about a break-up, a loss in your family, or a failure of some kind, speak to a trusted friend confidentially, then move on. It's not something to talk about at work.
3. Having a Strong Personality
3-1. Work out your brain.
Challenging yourself intellectually will keep you engaged in life and thereby interesting and enigmatic to others. Don't spend hours playing video games, spend hours reading books. Don't spend hours chatting online, spend hours writing poetry. Devote yourself to intellectual endeavors and surprise the world with your intellect.
3-2. Be kind and be reassuring.
Enigmatic people may seem mysterious, but they're not mean spirited or thoughtless. Indeed, your strong presence should be reassuring when people know that you don't gossip or abandon your friends at the drop of a hat.
Listen when people speak. Practice close listening skills, really focusing in when someone else is talking. Too often, we like to wait for our turn to speak. Instead, be fully engaged in conversations. You'd be surprised how unusual this can be for some people.
Remember people's names and try to have a good memory for things other people say. Enigmatic people can seem aloof, so you'll be a surprising presence when you remember an acquaintance's birthday, or a specific story they tossed off once.
3-3. Pursue unusual interests and hobbies.
Let out your inner weirdness by following an interest or hobby that is out of the ordinary and definitely something that arouses curiosity in others. Find something that gives you genuine pleasure for its unique qualities, not because it's a popular thing to do.
Start collecting rare coins or crystals, or start backpacking in the woods each weekend, identifying mushrooms. Take photographs. Learn Latin. Find an obsession and follow that obsession.
3-4. Be capable.
wikiHow is the right place for aspiring enigmas. Do you know how to sew? How to change your engine oil? Tune a mandolin? How to install vinyl flooring? How to gut an elk? The more esoteric knowledge you have under your belt, the more capable and surprising you'll be when those skills come out of your head and into the world. Surprise people with your capabilities.
Learn a card trick and never perform it for anyone, just in case you're ever at a party and someone brings up the subject. You'll knock their socks off when you unveil a mind-blowing card trick all of a sudden.
try to get a part-time job, if you're young. Learning the way of the working world can help you develop more adult skills and real-world experience that can help you to stand out among your peers.
3-5. Question authority.
Enigmatic people are voices of reason in otherwise chaotic worlds, known for their even temperament and carefully calculated ideas. That sometimes will come into conflict with dominant ways of thinking. Enigmas are people like Rosa Parks and like Batman. Enigmas don't ask for permission to do what they want, they rely on their own capabilities to move through the world and find their own path. Think of characters like Sherlock Holmes, Clint Eastwood, and Julia Child.
Look for enigmas all around you. Bob Dylan and Miles Davis might be enigmas on Wikipedia, but so are your town's librarians, gravediggers, baristas, and street musicians. Look for quiet leadership all around you, not just what's coming from the television and the newspaper. Find other sorts of role models.
Tips
If part of the reason you want to be enigmatic is to get dates, you'll have to be a bit more than enigmatic. Work on your charm, considerateness for others and keeping your appearance in good shape.
One exception would be Russell Brand, somehow he manages to pull off behaving excitedly and ecstatically while also coming across as intelligent and enigmatic.
Don't confuse being enigmatic around others with being an enigma to yourself. Self-knowledge is vital to leading a good life and it is something that you need to work on discovering all of your life. Do not neglect this part of your self care––read widely, keep your thoughts in a journal, be open to new experiences, challenge your fears and misunderstandings and always be willing to learn.
Warnings
Don't be someone you aren't. Never forget who you really are.
Communicate and act with non-violent intent at all times. Violence is a sign of losing control, something enigmatic people never do.
Don't break the law. You know the consequences if you do. It is never recommended.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Speaking Enigmatically\\n1-1. Speak only when you have something to say.\\nIf you want to cultivate a mysterious and enigmatic presence, leave some things unsaid. Train yourself to hold back on sharing your thoughts all of the time, not because you're shy and meek, but because you're comfortable enough in your own skin. Talk when you know it's essential, but don't feel the need to speak every chance you get.\\nCulturally, we often mistake fast-talkers for smart-talkers, but pauses in conversation have a power all of their own. Allow for reflection and silence in conversations, letting what is said sink in. This will give weight to your words and a gravity to your presence. Sometimes it's not so much what you say as what you do not say that people will remember.\\n1-2. Play devil's advocate.\\nEnigmatic people are often unpredictable, suddenly voicing an opinion you might have thought counter to their opinions or presence in general. Don't follow the crowd. Instead, look for new ways of seeing and try to think creatively around topics. Ask questions instead of agreeing to avoid conflict.\\nIf three people at a meeting have already spoken up for one way of solving a problem, play devil's advocate, even if you think they're probably right, or stay quiet. There's little sense in being another voice in the crowd, saying the same thing.\\nAsk lots of questions to make sure that decisions are the smartest possible. Clarify, specify, and interrogate all ideas to get to the heart of the matter.\\n1-3. Steer conversations in serious directions.\\nSmall talk is by nature banal. We talk about the weather, work hassles, childcare, traffic snarls, the cost of living. Enigmatic people might prefer to have one-on-one conversations that go deeper. Learn to take creative turns in your conversational skills and head for the deeper waters of discourse.\\nIf you find yourself at a party, confronted with a parade of dull getting-to-know-you talk, try to find one person who's willing to have a different sort of conversation and engage. Lead with an unusual question, or a probing follow-up. If someone mentions off-hand that they liked a movie, instead of agreeing, ask \\\"Why?\\\"\\n1-4. Use unusual colloquialisms.\\nBe creative and say things that will make people sit up and take notice, instead of things that will fade into the background of conversations. If someone asks how you're doing, you could say, \\\"So-so\\\" and be forgotten in an instant. Or, you could say, \\\"I feel like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.\\\" If someone asks how the baseball game turned out, you could say \\\"Terrible\\\" or you could say that it was \\\"Like slurping hot lead.\\\" People will take notice.\\n1-5. Build up a powerful vocabulary.\\nSpend time every day learning a few new words and practicing them in your conversations. Using precise and accurate diction in your everyday conversations will help you to stand out among the text-speak and the other chatter.\\n2. Keeping Some Distance\\n2-1. Share less about yourself.\\nSocial networking has changed the way we relate to each other, stripping much of the mystery from ourselves. It can sometimes be hard to change people's perceptions of you because they've heard too much about who you think you are now. Don't box yourself in in conversations online or in person. Instead, be judicious with what you tell acquaintances and strangers about yourself, and be more generous with those closer to you.\\nApart from those closest to you, there's no need to broadcast your whereabouts all the time, or your interests and tastes about every little thing. If someone asks where you're going, just evade it. \\\"I'll be around later.\\\"\\nRemove the location information and updates from your social networking accounts such as Twitter and Facebook. Online, stop calling yourself a citizen of a particular nation. Strip as much personal information from your accounts as possible.\\n2-2. Choose your friends wisely.\\nSome people are open and trusting, appealing for the love of others almost instantly. Enigmatic people, on the other hand, exercise a great deal of discretion in whom they place that trust. Trust and respect are things to be earned with time and experience, not to be assumed. People should have to work to get close to you.\\nSpend time with people one-on-one, instead of in larger groups. Enigmatic traits are more difficult to tease out when you're in larger groups. Get to know people for who they are, not who they pretend to be in public settings.\\nIf you want to be enigmatic, you also need to learn when it's okay to let people close enough to you. Enigmas aren't hermits. Even enigmatic people have people in their lives to trust and to lean upon. It just may be fewer than what we might think of as a cultural ideal.\\n2-3. Stay calm under pressure\\nEnigmatic people can control their emotions and passions so that the front they present to the world appears composed, calm and unruffled. This isn't to say that you lack passion or emotion, but that you're in control of those emotions. Good or bad, be unflappable.\\nEnigmatic people don't need to be martyrs. if you have ongoing pain, physical or emotional, see your doctor. Stay healthy and you won't have to worry about masking it. Look after your body and health so that you can stay strong in any situation.\\n2-4. Live in the present.\\nWhere does an enigmatic person come from? Parts unknown. Where is an enigmatic person going? Anywhere. Don't dwell in the past, or in dreams about the future. Instead, focus on living in the moment and being fully present in the here and now. Be spontaneous and willing to adjust to the situation and you'll be as enigmatic as the world around you.\\nIf you're upset about a break-up, a loss in your family, or a failure of some kind, speak to a trusted friend confidentially, then move on. It's not something to talk about at work.\\n3. Having a Strong Personality\\n3-1. Work out your brain.\\nChallenging yourself intellectually will keep you engaged in life and thereby interesting and enigmatic to others. Don't spend hours playing video games, spend hours reading books. Don't spend hours chatting online, spend hours writing poetry. Devote yourself to intellectual endeavors and surprise the world with your intellect.\\n3-2. Be kind and be reassuring.\\nEnigmatic people may seem mysterious, but they're not mean spirited or thoughtless. Indeed, your strong presence should be reassuring when people know that you don't gossip or abandon your friends at the drop of a hat.\\nListen when people speak. Practice close listening skills, really focusing in when someone else is talking. Too often, we like to wait for our turn to speak. Instead, be fully engaged in conversations. You'd be surprised how unusual this can be for some people.\\nRemember people's names and try to have a good memory for things other people say. Enigmatic people can seem aloof, so you'll be a surprising presence when you remember an acquaintance's birthday, or a specific story they tossed off once.\\n3-3. Pursue unusual interests and hobbies.\\nLet out your inner weirdness by following an interest or hobby that is out of the ordinary and definitely something that arouses curiosity in others. Find something that gives you genuine pleasure for its unique qualities, not because it's a popular thing to do.\\nStart collecting rare coins or crystals, or start backpacking in the woods each weekend, identifying mushrooms. Take photographs. Learn Latin. Find an obsession and follow that obsession.\\n3-4. Be capable.\\nwikiHow is the right place for aspiring enigmas. Do you know how to sew? How to change your engine oil? Tune a mandolin? How to install vinyl flooring? How to gut an elk? The more esoteric knowledge you have under your belt, the more capable and surprising you'll be when those skills come out of your head and into the world. Surprise people with your capabilities.\\n\\nLearn a card trick and never perform it for anyone, just in case you're ever at a party and someone brings up the subject. You'll knock their socks off when you unveil a mind-blowing card trick all of a sudden.\\ntry to get a part-time job, if you're young. Learning the way of the working world can help you develop more adult skills and real-world experience that can help you to stand out among your peers.\\n3-5. Question authority.\\nEnigmatic people are voices of reason in otherwise chaotic worlds, known for their even temperament and carefully calculated ideas. That sometimes will come into conflict with dominant ways of thinking. Enigmas are people like Rosa Parks and like Batman. Enigmas don't ask for permission to do what they want, they rely on their own capabilities to move through the world and find their own path. Think of characters like Sherlock Holmes, Clint Eastwood, and Julia Child.\\nLook for enigmas all around you. Bob Dylan and Miles Davis might be enigmas on Wikipedia, but so are your town's librarians, gravediggers, baristas, and street musicians. Look for quiet leadership all around you, not just what's coming from the television and the newspaper. Find other sorts of role models.\\nTips\\nIf part of the reason you want to be enigmatic is to get dates, you'll have to be a bit more than enigmatic. Work on your charm, considerateness for others and keeping your appearance in good shape.\\nOne exception would be Russell Brand, somehow he manages to pull off behaving excitedly and ecstatically while also coming across as intelligent and enigmatic.\\nDon't confuse being enigmatic around others with being an enigma to yourself. Self-knowledge is vital to leading a good life and it is something that you need to work on discovering all of your life. Do not neglect this part of your self care––read widely, keep your thoughts in a journal, be open to new experiences, challenge your fears and misunderstandings and always be willing to learn.\\nWarnings\\nDon't be someone you aren't. Never forget who you really are.\\nCommunicate and act with non-violent intent at all times. Violence is a sign of losing control, something enigmatic people never do.\\nDon't break the law. You know the consequences if you do. It is never recommended.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Enigmas are, by definition, tough to figure out. If you want to cultivate a little mystery in your life, but still maintain the magnetism and charm of the Bogarts of the world, you can learn what parts of your personality to pull back and which parts to emphasize so as to better cultivate an enigmatic persona in your speech, in your behavior, and in your personality.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speaking Enigmatically\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak only when you have something to say.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to cultivate a mysterious and enigmatic presence, leave some things unsaid. Train yourself to hold back on sharing your thoughts all of the time, not because you're shy and meek, but because you're comfortable enough in your own skin. Talk when you know it's essential, but don't feel the need to speak every chance you get.\\nCulturally, we often mistake fast-talkers for smart-talkers, but pauses in conversation have a power all of their own. Allow for reflection and silence in conversations, letting what is said sink in. This will give weight to your words and a gravity to your presence. Sometimes it's not so much what you say as what you do not say that people will remember.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play devil's advocate.\", \"描述\": \"Enigmatic people are often unpredictable, suddenly voicing an opinion you might have thought counter to their opinions or presence in general. Don't follow the crowd. Instead, look for new ways of seeing and try to think creatively around topics. Ask questions instead of agreeing to avoid conflict.\\nIf three people at a meeting have already spoken up for one way of solving a problem, play devil's advocate, even if you think they're probably right, or stay quiet. There's little sense in being another voice in the crowd, saying the same thing.\\nAsk lots of questions to make sure that decisions are the smartest possible. Clarify, specify, and interrogate all ideas to get to the heart of the matter.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Steer conversations in serious directions.\", \"描述\": \"Small talk is by nature banal. We talk about the weather, work hassles, childcare, traffic snarls, the cost of living. Enigmatic people might prefer to have one-on-one conversations that go deeper. Learn to take creative turns in your conversational skills and head for the deeper waters of discourse.\\nIf you find yourself at a party, confronted with a parade of dull getting-to-know-you talk, try to find one person who's willing to have a different sort of conversation and engage. Lead with an unusual question, or a probing follow-up. If someone mentions off-hand that they liked a movie, instead of agreeing, ask \\\"Why?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use unusual colloquialisms.\", \"描述\": \"Be creative and say things that will make people sit up and take notice, instead of things that will fade into the background of conversations. If someone asks how you're doing, you could say, \\\"So-so\\\" and be forgotten in an instant. Or, you could say, \\\"I feel like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.\\\" If someone asks how the baseball game turned out, you could say \\\"Terrible\\\" or you could say that it was \\\"Like slurping hot lead.\\\" People will take notice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build up a powerful vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Spend time every day learning a few new words and practicing them in your conversations. Using precise and accurate diction in your everyday conversations will help you to stand out among the text-speak and the other chatter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Some Distance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Share less about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Social networking has changed the way we relate to each other, stripping much of the mystery from ourselves. It can sometimes be hard to change people's perceptions of you because they've heard too much about who you think you are now. Don't box yourself in in conversations online or in person. Instead, be judicious with what you tell acquaintances and strangers about yourself, and be more generous with those closer to you.\\nApart from those closest to you, there's no need to broadcast your whereabouts all the time, or your interests and tastes about every little thing. If someone asks where you're going, just evade it. \\\"I'll be around later.\\\"\\nRemove the location information and updates from your social networking accounts such as Twitter and Facebook. Online, stop calling yourself a citizen of a particular nation. Strip as much personal information from your accounts as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your friends wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are open and trusting, appealing for the love of others almost instantly. Enigmatic people, on the other hand, exercise a great deal of discretion in whom they place that trust. Trust and respect are things to be earned with time and experience, not to be assumed. People should have to work to get close to you.\\nSpend time with people one-on-one, instead of in larger groups. Enigmatic traits are more difficult to tease out when you're in larger groups. Get to know people for who they are, not who they pretend to be in public settings.\\nIf you want to be enigmatic, you also need to learn when it's okay to let people close enough to you. Enigmas aren't hermits. Even enigmatic people have people in their lives to trust and to lean upon. It just may be fewer than what we might think of as a cultural ideal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm under pressure\", \"描述\": \"Enigmatic people can control their emotions and passions so that the front they present to the world appears composed, calm and unruffled. This isn't to say that you lack passion or emotion, but that you're in control of those emotions. Good or bad, be unflappable.\\nEnigmatic people don't need to be martyrs. if you have ongoing pain, physical or emotional, see your doctor. Stay healthy and you won't have to worry about masking it. Look after your body and health so that you can stay strong in any situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Live in the present.\", \"描述\": \"Where does an enigmatic person come from? Parts unknown. Where is an enigmatic person going? Anywhere. Don't dwell in the past, or in dreams about the future. Instead, focus on living in the moment and being fully present in the here and now. Be spontaneous and willing to adjust to the situation and you'll be as enigmatic as the world around you.\\nIf you're upset about a break-up, a loss in your family, or a failure of some kind, speak to a trusted friend confidentially, then move on. It's not something to talk about at work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having a Strong Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work out your brain.\", \"描述\": \"Challenging yourself intellectually will keep you engaged in life and thereby interesting and enigmatic to others. Don't spend hours playing video games, spend hours reading books. Don't spend hours chatting online, spend hours writing poetry. Devote yourself to intellectual endeavors and surprise the world with your intellect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be kind and be reassuring.\", \"描述\": \"Enigmatic people may seem mysterious, but they're not mean spirited or thoughtless. Indeed, your strong presence should be reassuring when people know that you don't gossip or abandon your friends at the drop of a hat.\\nListen when people speak. Practice close listening skills, really focusing in when someone else is talking. Too often, we like to wait for our turn to speak. Instead, be fully engaged in conversations. You'd be surprised how unusual this can be for some people.\\nRemember people's names and try to have a good memory for things other people say. Enigmatic people can seem aloof, so you'll be a surprising presence when you remember an acquaintance's birthday, or a specific story they tossed off once.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pursue unusual interests and hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"Let out your inner weirdness by following an interest or hobby that is out of the ordinary and definitely something that arouses curiosity in others. Find something that gives you genuine pleasure for its unique qualities, not because it's a popular thing to do.\\nStart collecting rare coins or crystals, or start backpacking in the woods each weekend, identifying mushrooms. Take photographs. Learn Latin. Find an obsession and follow that obsession.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be capable.\", \"描述\": \"wikiHow is the right place for aspiring enigmas. Do you know how to sew? How to change your engine oil? Tune a mandolin? How to install vinyl flooring? How to gut an elk? The more esoteric knowledge you have under your belt, the more capable and surprising you'll be when those skills come out of your head and into the world. Surprise people with your capabilities.\\n\\nLearn a card trick and never perform it for anyone, just in case you're ever at a party and someone brings up the subject. You'll knock their socks off when you unveil a mind-blowing card trick all of a sudden.\\ntry to get a part-time job, if you're young. Learning the way of the working world can help you develop more adult skills and real-world experience that can help you to stand out among your peers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Question authority.\", \"描述\": \"Enigmatic people are voices of reason in otherwise chaotic worlds, known for their even temperament and carefully calculated ideas. That sometimes will come into conflict with dominant ways of thinking. Enigmas are people like Rosa Parks and like Batman. Enigmas don't ask for permission to do what they want, they rely on their own capabilities to move through the world and find their own path. Think of characters like Sherlock Holmes, Clint Eastwood, and Julia Child.\\nLook for enigmas all around you. Bob Dylan and Miles Davis might be enigmas on Wikipedia, but so are your town's librarians, gravediggers, baristas, and street musicians. Look for quiet leadership all around you, not just what's coming from the television and the newspaper. Find other sorts of role models.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If part of the reason you want to be enigmatic is to get dates, you'll have to be a bit more than enigmatic. Work on your charm, considerateness for others and keeping your appearance in good shape.\\n\", \"One exception would be Russell Brand, somehow he manages to pull off behaving excitedly and ecstatically while also coming across as intelligent and enigmatic.\\n\", \"Don't confuse being enigmatic around others with being an enigma to yourself. Self-knowledge is vital to leading a good life and it is something that you need to work on discovering all of your life. Do not neglect this part of your self care––read widely, keep your thoughts in a journal, be open to new experiences, challenge your fears and misunderstandings and always be willing to learn.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't be someone you aren't. Never forget who you really are.\\n\", \"Communicate and act with non-violent intent at all times. Violence is a sign of losing control, something enigmatic people never do.\\n\", \"Don't break the law. You know the consequences if you do. It is never recommended.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,703 | How to Be Entertained While on a Long Drive | 1. Listening to New Things
1-1. Break out your favorite CDs from childhood.
While your taste in music has probably changed since you were a kid, you may still have those old CDs stashed somewhere. A long drive can be a great time for a walk down memory lane. Grab a handful of CDs you haven’t listened to in years and see if you can still sing along to all of the words.
You can also take some of your current favorites, borrow new music from a friend, or check out something random from the library.
If you prefer an MP3 player over CDs, consider playing it on shuffle and see if you are surprised by some of the music you forgot you had on there.
When travelling with kids, bring some CDs of silly songs kids like to sing along to. Or if they are older, let them play some of the music they like.
1-2. Tackle a tough read with an audiobook.
If you love to read, you probably have that one book you know you should read but have been avoiding. A long trip can be a great time to listen to an audiobook, especially of a book you can’t make yourself read. You get to experience the story without the potential boredom of hours of reading.
Most public libraries have a large assortment of audiobooks on CD, which you could check out. You can also download from sites like Audible. Some libraries may even have digital audiobooks for streaming or download.
There are all kinds of audiobooks that are kid-friendly, so consider finding a story kids and adults both could enjoy.
You don’t have to just choose a difficult book. You could check out the latest best-seller or something a friend has recommended that you’ve put off for too long already.
1-3. Give podcasts a try.
Although podcasts have been around for years, many people are still unfamiliar with them. These are scripted or unscripted audio recordings. Podcasts often have celebrity interviews but can also be done by people who are not otherwise famous. Searching in iTunes or the Google Play Store will give you nearly unlimited options.
You can download podcasts that discuss the latest in sports, music podcasts that include full songs or clips, or serialized podcasts that tell a narrative in each episode. If you have a hobby or interest, there is most likely a podcast that will suit your taste.
1-4. Browse the local radio stations.
If you are far from home, check out what music stations are playing in the locale you’re driving through. You might assume that radio is basically the same everywhere, but you might be surprised by what you find being played. Even if you don’t settle on a station, or if none have good enough reception, it’s a fun way to take a break from whatever else you’re listening to.
2. Playing Games as a Group
2-1. Create a story one sentence at a time.
Start with the driver giving the first line of a story they make up. Then go clockwise through the passengers and have each person say the next sentence of the story. You can try working together to follow a logical pattern, or some players may think of something crazy to challenge the person after them.
The idea is to think quickly and keep the story moving, so have a reasonable time limit on how long each player gets to say their sentence.
If you play multiple times, rotate who starts the story, or let people jump in with their sentence in a random order.
This is a great game for kids because they can make the story extra silly. It gives them a chance to engage their minds when the drive gets boring.
2-2. Make your trip a scavenger hunt.
Before your trip, come up with a list of things you hope you will see along the way. Take the list with you, maybe even a copy for each passenger, and mark things off as you see them. You can even have a disposable camera with you to take pictures as you see the thing. If you have time, you can stop and stand by the things for the picture.
Examples might be a round barn, a windmill, a rock formation, an RV, animals, towns in other states with the same name as your hometown, or a courthouse. You can come up with wild things that you’d never expect like a lion or a robot.
You can make the items as general or specific as you want. For example you might say “a cow” or you might say “a brown cow.” You could say “a park” or “a park with a playground.” This makes some items harder to find.
You could also put the items on a bingo grid and have everyone try to get bingo with the items.
If kids are playing, the prize for getting the most items or a bingo might be letting them pick the restaurant when you stop to eat. Or you could have an actual prize for them like a candy bar or a small toy.
2-3. Play the alphabet game with kids.
Starting with A, look around at signs, buildings, license plates, and anything with letters, and find each letter in the alphabet. Whoever gets to Z first wins that round.
A good way to make the game harder is to say that the letter has to be at the beginning of the word. So you could use the B from Boat but not from Stable.
2-4. Put each passenger in the “hot seat.”
Take turns going around and asking each other questions that have to be answered. Each passenger is allowed one skip during the game. Depending on how well you know each other, you can make them very personal questions to tease each other, or more general to get to know each other better.
A personal question might be, “Who in this car would you want to kiss?” Or “What is something embarrassing that happened to you this week?”
Good questions to get to know each other might be “What hobbies do you have?” “What is your dream job?” or “Where are some places you have travelled to before now?”
This can be a risky game if some people want to push the limits with their questions. It might be good to agree not to ask questions that are going to make the rest of the drive uncomfortable.
2-5. Play license plate baseball.
Before you start the game, every person chooses a number 0-9. You play nine innings, and each inning is a vehicle that you pass on the highway. Look at the license plates as you pass and if your number is on it, you get 1 point. If the number is there twice, or more, you get that many points. Whoever has the most after you pass 9 cars wins.
You can adjust the rules, as you wish. You can make it any car you see and play for a certain time limit. Or you can make it only cars that pass you.
Be sure everyone says out loud what their number is going to be so that no one tries to cheat.
3. Trying Something New
3-1. Use voice-to-text software to start writing something.
Maybe you have an idea for a blog that you have been meaning to start, or you want to write a book but can’t find time. Use software your phone already has or download some and start speaking what you want to write. You could also use this option to write a letter or email to friends and family.
This type of software does not always catch your words exactly right, so you will have to proofread what you write before doing anything with it. But this is a good way to get a start and get a lot of content down quickly.
Make sure you are being safe anytime you handle your phone while driving. Start the software at a point when you are not driving.
3-2. Take a scenic route when you have the time.
Long drives often end up being mostly highways and interstates, which are faster but can often become very boring. If you don’t mind taking a longer drive, consider using smaller roads that offer more scenery. You may drive a bit farther and take longer, but the drive will be more enjoyable than faster routes.
This is probably best done if you are a very good navigator or have GPS handy so that you make sure you still get where you are going without getting lost. You don’t want to get stuck on back country roads with no idea how to get back to the highway.
If you have kids who are old enough to read a map, you can let them choose the route you take. Make sure you double check to be sure you are still going in the right direction.
3-3. Make spontaneous stops.
If you have some time to spare, or you just need a quick break from driving, stop at some attraction you see signs for along the roadway. There might be a local museum, a state or national park, or a unique attraction like the giant ball of yarn or Carhenge. Almost anywhere you drive will have something interesting you can stop and look at.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be completely spontaneous. You could look ahead at your basic route and see if there is anything interesting to stop and see along the way.
Even if you don’t see a sign advertising anything, you could choose an exit to take and just see if there is anything interesting in the area around the exit.
Allow kids to point out attractions they see that look interesting and stop at them. You could say that each kid gets to pick out one stop along way.
3-4. Get to know the other passengers.
If you are on a long trip with a couple people you don’t know very well, take the opportunity to find out more about them. You may have to push the conversation forward at the beginning if they are shy, but don’t be afraid to. Ask good questions and let them talk while you listen to their answers.
You can always ask the standard questions like what they do for work, what they are studying if they’re in college, or what their hobbies are.
When you want to dig a little deeper, you can ask them what social issues they care about, what they would do with their time if they didn’t have to work, or just ask them to tell a story about something that happened to them in the past.
You can ask kids a lot of different questions to keep them entertained. Ask what kind of jobs they might enjoy someday. Ask what places they would like to travel when they have the chance. You can often keep kids talking for a while without too much work.
Tips
Part of being entertained is having a positive attitude. If you are mad the whole time about the long drive, you probably won’t have much fun doing anything.
Go around the car telling funny stories.
If you are driving alone, call a friend or family member you don’t get to talk to very often. This is probably best done with hands free phones or on speakerphone for safety.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Listening to New Things\\n1-1. Break out your favorite CDs from childhood.\\nWhile your taste in music has probably changed since you were a kid, you may still have those old CDs stashed somewhere. A long drive can be a great time for a walk down memory lane. Grab a handful of CDs you haven’t listened to in years and see if you can still sing along to all of the words.\\nYou can also take some of your current favorites, borrow new music from a friend, or check out something random from the library.\\nIf you prefer an MP3 player over CDs, consider playing it on shuffle and see if you are surprised by some of the music you forgot you had on there.\\nWhen travelling with kids, bring some CDs of silly songs kids like to sing along to. Or if they are older, let them play some of the music they like.\\n1-2. Tackle a tough read with an audiobook.\\nIf you love to read, you probably have that one book you know you should read but have been avoiding. A long trip can be a great time to listen to an audiobook, especially of a book you can’t make yourself read. You get to experience the story without the potential boredom of hours of reading.\\nMost public libraries have a large assortment of audiobooks on CD, which you could check out. You can also download from sites like Audible. Some libraries may even have digital audiobooks for streaming or download.\\nThere are all kinds of audiobooks that are kid-friendly, so consider finding a story kids and adults both could enjoy.\\nYou don’t have to just choose a difficult book. You could check out the latest best-seller or something a friend has recommended that you’ve put off for too long already.\\n1-3. Give podcasts a try.\\nAlthough podcasts have been around for years, many people are still unfamiliar with them. These are scripted or unscripted audio recordings. Podcasts often have celebrity interviews but can also be done by people who are not otherwise famous. Searching in iTunes or the Google Play Store will give you nearly unlimited options.\\nYou can download podcasts that discuss the latest in sports, music podcasts that include full songs or clips, or serialized podcasts that tell a narrative in each episode. If you have a hobby or interest, there is most likely a podcast that will suit your taste.\\n1-4. Browse the local radio stations.\\nIf you are far from home, check out what music stations are playing in the locale you’re driving through. You might assume that radio is basically the same everywhere, but you might be surprised by what you find being played. Even if you don’t settle on a station, or if none have good enough reception, it’s a fun way to take a break from whatever else you’re listening to.\\n2. Playing Games as a Group\\n2-1. Create a story one sentence at a time.\\nStart with the driver giving the first line of a story they make up. Then go clockwise through the passengers and have each person say the next sentence of the story. You can try working together to follow a logical pattern, or some players may think of something crazy to challenge the person after them.\\nThe idea is to think quickly and keep the story moving, so have a reasonable time limit on how long each player gets to say their sentence.\\nIf you play multiple times, rotate who starts the story, or let people jump in with their sentence in a random order.\\nThis is a great game for kids because they can make the story extra silly. It gives them a chance to engage their minds when the drive gets boring.\\n2-2. Make your trip a scavenger hunt.\\nBefore your trip, come up with a list of things you hope you will see along the way. Take the list with you, maybe even a copy for each passenger, and mark things off as you see them. You can even have a disposable camera with you to take pictures as you see the thing. If you have time, you can stop and stand by the things for the picture.\\nExamples might be a round barn, a windmill, a rock formation, an RV, animals, towns in other states with the same name as your hometown, or a courthouse. You can come up with wild things that you’d never expect like a lion or a robot.\\nYou can make the items as general or specific as you want. For example you might say “a cow” or you might say “a brown cow.” You could say “a park” or “a park with a playground.” This makes some items harder to find.\\nYou could also put the items on a bingo grid and have everyone try to get bingo with the items.\\nIf kids are playing, the prize for getting the most items or a bingo might be letting them pick the restaurant when you stop to eat. Or you could have an actual prize for them like a candy bar or a small toy.\\n2-3. Play the alphabet game with kids.\\nStarting with A, look around at signs, buildings, license plates, and anything with letters, and find each letter in the alphabet. Whoever gets to Z first wins that round.\\nA good way to make the game harder is to say that the letter has to be at the beginning of the word. So you could use the B from Boat but not from Stable.\\n2-4. Put each passenger in the “hot seat.”\\nTake turns going around and asking each other questions that have to be answered. Each passenger is allowed one skip during the game. Depending on how well you know each other, you can make them very personal questions to tease each other, or more general to get to know each other better.\\nA personal question might be, “Who in this car would you want to kiss?” Or “What is something embarrassing that happened to you this week?”\\nGood questions to get to know each other might be “What hobbies do you have?” “What is your dream job?” or “Where are some places you have travelled to before now?”\\nThis can be a risky game if some people want to push the limits with their questions. It might be good to agree not to ask questions that are going to make the rest of the drive uncomfortable.\\n2-5. Play license plate baseball.\\nBefore you start the game, every person chooses a number 0-9. You play nine innings, and each inning is a vehicle that you pass on the highway. Look at the license plates as you pass and if your number is on it, you get 1 point. If the number is there twice, or more, you get that many points. Whoever has the most after you pass 9 cars wins.\\nYou can adjust the rules, as you wish. You can make it any car you see and play for a certain time limit. Or you can make it only cars that pass you.\\nBe sure everyone says out loud what their number is going to be so that no one tries to cheat.\\n3. Trying Something New\\n3-1. Use voice-to-text software to start writing something.\\nMaybe you have an idea for a blog that you have been meaning to start, or you want to write a book but can’t find time. Use software your phone already has or download some and start speaking what you want to write. You could also use this option to write a letter or email to friends and family.\\nThis type of software does not always catch your words exactly right, so you will have to proofread what you write before doing anything with it. But this is a good way to get a start and get a lot of content down quickly.\\nMake sure you are being safe anytime you handle your phone while driving. Start the software at a point when you are not driving.\\n3-2. Take a scenic route when you have the time.\\nLong drives often end up being mostly highways and interstates, which are faster but can often become very boring. If you don’t mind taking a longer drive, consider using smaller roads that offer more scenery. You may drive a bit farther and take longer, but the drive will be more enjoyable than faster routes.\\nThis is probably best done if you are a very good navigator or have GPS handy so that you make sure you still get where you are going without getting lost. You don’t want to get stuck on back country roads with no idea how to get back to the highway.\\nIf you have kids who are old enough to read a map, you can let them choose the route you take. Make sure you double check to be sure you are still going in the right direction.\\n3-3. Make spontaneous stops.\\nIf you have some time to spare, or you just need a quick break from driving, stop at some attraction you see signs for along the roadway. There might be a local museum, a state or national park, or a unique attraction like the giant ball of yarn or Carhenge. Almost anywhere you drive will have something interesting you can stop and look at.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily have to be completely spontaneous. You could look ahead at your basic route and see if there is anything interesting to stop and see along the way.\\nEven if you don’t see a sign advertising anything, you could choose an exit to take and just see if there is anything interesting in the area around the exit.\\nAllow kids to point out attractions they see that look interesting and stop at them. You could say that each kid gets to pick out one stop along way.\\n3-4. Get to know the other passengers.\\nIf you are on a long trip with a couple people you don’t know very well, take the opportunity to find out more about them. You may have to push the conversation forward at the beginning if they are shy, but don’t be afraid to. Ask good questions and let them talk while you listen to their answers.\\nYou can always ask the standard questions like what they do for work, what they are studying if they’re in college, or what their hobbies are.\\nWhen you want to dig a little deeper, you can ask them what social issues they care about, what they would do with their time if they didn’t have to work, or just ask them to tell a story about something that happened to them in the past.\\nYou can ask kids a lot of different questions to keep them entertained. Ask what kind of jobs they might enjoy someday. Ask what places they would like to travel when they have the chance. You can often keep kids talking for a while without too much work.\\nTips\\nPart of being entertained is having a positive attitude. If you are mad the whole time about the long drive, you probably won’t have much fun doing anything.\\nGo around the car telling funny stories.\\nIf you are driving alone, call a friend or family member you don’t get to talk to very often. This is probably best done with hands free phones or on speakerphone for safety.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Long drives in the car are pretty common, especially for people who like to travel. It can be easy to get bored while confined in a small space with limited options, but if you work with the opportunity you have, being entertained can be easy, too. You can check out podcasts or audiobooks, play games like road trip scavenger hunt, or use talk-to-text to start writing a book or blog. You can also take time to get to know the other passengers, make stops at attractions that look interesting, or play license plate baseball.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening to New Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break out your favorite CDs from childhood.\", \"描述\": \"While your taste in music has probably changed since you were a kid, you may still have those old CDs stashed somewhere. A long drive can be a great time for a walk down memory lane. Grab a handful of CDs you haven’t listened to in years and see if you can still sing along to all of the words.\\nYou can also take some of your current favorites, borrow new music from a friend, or check out something random from the library.\\nIf you prefer an MP3 player over CDs, consider playing it on shuffle and see if you are surprised by some of the music you forgot you had on there.\\nWhen travelling with kids, bring some CDs of silly songs kids like to sing along to. Or if they are older, let them play some of the music they like.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tackle a tough read with an audiobook.\", \"描述\": \"If you love to read, you probably have that one book you know you should read but have been avoiding. A long trip can be a great time to listen to an audiobook, especially of a book you can’t make yourself read. You get to experience the story without the potential boredom of hours of reading.\\nMost public libraries have a large assortment of audiobooks on CD, which you could check out. You can also download from sites like Audible. Some libraries may even have digital audiobooks for streaming or download.\\nThere are all kinds of audiobooks that are kid-friendly, so consider finding a story kids and adults both could enjoy.\\nYou don’t have to just choose a difficult book. You could check out the latest best-seller or something a friend has recommended that you’ve put off for too long already.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give podcasts a try.\", \"描述\": \"Although podcasts have been around for years, many people are still unfamiliar with them. These are scripted or unscripted audio recordings. Podcasts often have celebrity interviews but can also be done by people who are not otherwise famous. Searching in iTunes or the Google Play Store will give you nearly unlimited options.\\nYou can download podcasts that discuss the latest in sports, music podcasts that include full songs or clips, or serialized podcasts that tell a narrative in each episode. If you have a hobby or interest, there is most likely a podcast that will suit your taste.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Browse the local radio stations.\", \"描述\": \"If you are far from home, check out what music stations are playing in the locale you’re driving through. You might assume that radio is basically the same everywhere, but you might be surprised by what you find being played. Even if you don’t settle on a station, or if none have good enough reception, it’s a fun way to take a break from whatever else you’re listening to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Playing Games as a Group\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a story one sentence at a time.\", \"描述\": \"Start with the driver giving the first line of a story they make up. Then go clockwise through the passengers and have each person say the next sentence of the story. You can try working together to follow a logical pattern, or some players may think of something crazy to challenge the person after them.\\nThe idea is to think quickly and keep the story moving, so have a reasonable time limit on how long each player gets to say their sentence.\\nIf you play multiple times, rotate who starts the story, or let people jump in with their sentence in a random order.\\nThis is a great game for kids because they can make the story extra silly. It gives them a chance to engage their minds when the drive gets boring.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your trip a scavenger hunt.\", \"描述\": \"Before your trip, come up with a list of things you hope you will see along the way. Take the list with you, maybe even a copy for each passenger, and mark things off as you see them. You can even have a disposable camera with you to take pictures as you see the thing. If you have time, you can stop and stand by the things for the picture.\\nExamples might be a round barn, a windmill, a rock formation, an RV, animals, towns in other states with the same name as your hometown, or a courthouse. You can come up with wild things that you’d never expect like a lion or a robot.\\nYou can make the items as general or specific as you want. For example you might say “a cow” or you might say “a brown cow.” You could say “a park” or “a park with a playground.” This makes some items harder to find.\\nYou could also put the items on a bingo grid and have everyone try to get bingo with the items.\\nIf kids are playing, the prize for getting the most items or a bingo might be letting them pick the restaurant when you stop to eat. Or you could have an actual prize for them like a candy bar or a small toy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play the alphabet game with kids.\", \"描述\": \"Starting with A, look around at signs, buildings, license plates, and anything with letters, and find each letter in the alphabet. Whoever gets to Z first wins that round.\\nA good way to make the game harder is to say that the letter has to be at the beginning of the word. So you could use the B from Boat but not from Stable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put each passenger in the “hot seat.”\", \"描述\": \"Take turns going around and asking each other questions that have to be answered. Each passenger is allowed one skip during the game. Depending on how well you know each other, you can make them very personal questions to tease each other, or more general to get to know each other better.\\nA personal question might be, “Who in this car would you want to kiss?” Or “What is something embarrassing that happened to you this week?”\\nGood questions to get to know each other might be “What hobbies do you have?” “What is your dream job?” or “Where are some places you have travelled to before now?”\\nThis can be a risky game if some people want to push the limits with their questions. It might be good to agree not to ask questions that are going to make the rest of the drive uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play license plate baseball.\", \"描述\": \"Before you start the game, every person chooses a number 0-9. You play nine innings, and each inning is a vehicle that you pass on the highway. Look at the license plates as you pass and if your number is on it, you get 1 point. If the number is there twice, or more, you get that many points. Whoever has the most after you pass 9 cars wins.\\nYou can adjust the rules, as you wish. You can make it any car you see and play for a certain time limit. Or you can make it only cars that pass you.\\nBe sure everyone says out loud what their number is going to be so that no one tries to cheat.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Trying Something New\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use voice-to-text software to start writing something.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you have an idea for a blog that you have been meaning to start, or you want to write a book but can’t find time. Use software your phone already has or download some and start speaking what you want to write. You could also use this option to write a letter or email to friends and family.\\nThis type of software does not always catch your words exactly right, so you will have to proofread what you write before doing anything with it. But this is a good way to get a start and get a lot of content down quickly.\\nMake sure you are being safe anytime you handle your phone while driving. Start the software at a point when you are not driving.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a scenic route when you have the time.\", \"描述\": \"Long drives often end up being mostly highways and interstates, which are faster but can often become very boring. If you don’t mind taking a longer drive, consider using smaller roads that offer more scenery. You may drive a bit farther and take longer, but the drive will be more enjoyable than faster routes.\\nThis is probably best done if you are a very good navigator or have GPS handy so that you make sure you still get where you are going without getting lost. You don’t want to get stuck on back country roads with no idea how to get back to the highway.\\nIf you have kids who are old enough to read a map, you can let them choose the route you take. Make sure you double check to be sure you are still going in the right direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make spontaneous stops.\", \"描述\": \"If you have some time to spare, or you just need a quick break from driving, stop at some attraction you see signs for along the roadway. There might be a local museum, a state or national park, or a unique attraction like the giant ball of yarn or Carhenge. Almost anywhere you drive will have something interesting you can stop and look at.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily have to be completely spontaneous. You could look ahead at your basic route and see if there is anything interesting to stop and see along the way.\\nEven if you don’t see a sign advertising anything, you could choose an exit to take and just see if there is anything interesting in the area around the exit.\\nAllow kids to point out attractions they see that look interesting and stop at them. You could say that each kid gets to pick out one stop along way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get to know the other passengers.\", \"描述\": \"If you are on a long trip with a couple people you don’t know very well, take the opportunity to find out more about them. You may have to push the conversation forward at the beginning if they are shy, but don’t be afraid to. Ask good questions and let them talk while you listen to their answers.\\nYou can always ask the standard questions like what they do for work, what they are studying if they’re in college, or what their hobbies are.\\nWhen you want to dig a little deeper, you can ask them what social issues they care about, what they would do with their time if they didn’t have to work, or just ask them to tell a story about something that happened to them in the past.\\nYou can ask kids a lot of different questions to keep them entertained. Ask what kind of jobs they might enjoy someday. Ask what places they would like to travel when they have the chance. You can often keep kids talking for a while without too much work.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Part of being entertained is having a positive attitude. If you are mad the whole time about the long drive, you probably won’t have much fun doing anything.\\n\", \"Go around the car telling funny stories.\\n\", \"If you are driving alone, call a friend or family member you don’t get to talk to very often. This is probably best done with hands free phones or on speakerphone for safety.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,704 | How to Be Environmentally Friendly | 1. Protecting Water Sources
1-1. Conserve water at home.
It takes a lot of energy to bring water from rivers, groundwater, or whatever your local water source is into your home. Water must be pumped to a treatment plant, filtered and treated with chemicals to clean it, then pumped into your neighborhood so you can use it home. Saving as much water as possible reduces the stress this whole process puts on natural bodies of water in the environment. Here are a few ways to conserve water:
Use the low-water dishwashing method. Instead of having the water running the whole time, fill one sink with hot soapy water, then turn off the water and scrub the dishes. Dip them into a second sink filled with clean water, then dry and store them.
Install a low-flow showerhead and take short showers. Long showers and baths use a lot more water.
Low-flow faucets and toilets work similarly to a low-flow showerhead.
Use water-saving appliances, like a dishwasher and washing machine.
Fix leaks in your pipes so water isn't constantly coming out.
Don't leave the water running while you brush your teeth.
Don’t water your lawn. Let the rain do the work instead of pumping clean water into your front lawn. If it's legal in your area, save greywater or collect water rain barrel to use. If you want a green lawn, plant native plants or low-water plants like moss instead.
1-2. Use fewer chemicals.
Chemicals washed down the drain or applied directly to the grass can taint the water supply, causing problems for wildlife and humans alike. Figure out which chemicals you can replace with something else so you can avoid washing toxins down the drain.
Use alternative cleaning solutions. Try white vinegar and baking soda to clean your kitchen and bathroom.
Reconsider your personal body care items. Replace shampoos, conditioners, and soaps with natural versions. Your body will thank you, too.
Try natural pesticides and herbicides. Instead of spraying for weeds, try planting native species that naturally take care of the problem.
1-3. Never dump hazardous waste materials down the drain or into the grass.
Paint, motor oil, ammonia, and other strong chemical solutions should not be dumped down the drain or into the yard, because they'll seep into the groundwater. These items need to be disposed of properly. Check your local sanitation department's website to find out how to dispose of hazardous waste. You may be instructed to take them to a toxic waste site for proper disposal.
1-4. Help fight local water pollution.
Changing your personal habits regarding water and chemical usage is a great first step. By conserving water in an everyday way, you're doing your part and setting a good example for other people. But to truly make an impact, consider taking your efforts a step further. Here are a few ways to do it:
Participate in a waterways clean-up day. If there's a local stream, river, or beach that's littered with trash or polluted, there's probably a local water conservation group trying to clean it up. Next time there's a clean-up day, join in. And if you can't find a group, organize one yourself!
Speak up against water polluters. Thanks to loose governmental regulations, our waterways are often polluted with industrial waste dumped by corporations. Oil and chemical dumping kill aquatic life and the surrounding environment, and it makes water unsafe for people to drink as well. Investigate to see if there's a campaign for clean water in your area, and sign up to help however you can.
2. Helping Clean the Air
2-1. Conserve electricity at home.
It's one of the first ways many of us are taught to be environmentally friendly, yet we all need help remembering how important it is to do things like turn off the lights when you leave the room. Everything that's powered by electricity requires the use of energy generated at power plants. The plants usually burn either coal or fossil fuel, which produces emissions that cloud up the air and make it harder for everyone to breathe. That's a heavy consequence for forgetting to shut down your computer. Here's what you can do:
Lower the thermostat in the winter. Instead of heating the house so it's blazing hot and snowing outside, heat it just enough so that you're comfortable. Insulating your home helps keep the cold out more efficiently, too.
See if you can switch to wind or solar-powered electricity, which produces fewer emissions.
Use less air conditioning. In the summer, see if you can handle going without air conditioning on days when it's not that hot. Save it for the sweltering days.
Turn off appliances and electronics when not in use. Computers, TVs, coffee pots, and more should be turned off and unplugged when you aren't using them.
Use energy-saving light bulbs. Incandescent bulbs (the old-fashioned kind) require more energy to burn.
Reduce the time you spend on your electronics. While electronics are really fun and likely help you feel connected to your friends, they also use up a lot of energy.
Line dry your clothes instead of putting them in the dryer. Dryers can use up a lot of electricity.
2-2. Become less reliant on cars.
From the manufacturing of cars to the extraction and burning of the gas that powers them, to the oil and other materials used to build the roads they drive on, there's no doubt that cars and all their trappings are a major source of air pollution. Cutting back on your car use is a great way to be more environmentally friendly.
Take public transportation. Get familiar with the bus, subway, or train schedule in your city, and start using public transportation more often.
Find the bike lanes in your town. More and more cities and towns are putting in new bike lanes connecting all the major neighborhoods. Saving money on not getting gym memberships and getting free exercise is an added bonus of using bike lanes.
Make time for walking. If you have time for a stroll, why not walk instead of driving? Any place that's five or ten minutes away by car should be within suitable walking distance, too.
Carpool to work or school with other people instead of driving by yourself.
2-3. Shop locally.
Your shopping habits might not be the first thing you question when you're coming up with ways to reduce air pollution, but what people buy has a big effect on the environment. How a product was made, where it was made, and how it was packaged all play a role.
Look into manufacturing processes. Was it made with sustainable materials, or did its production involve the use of plastics or other chemicals? Product manufacture is also responsible for using (and wasting) a lot of water, so this is an important question to ask for more than one reason.
Check labels to see how far items traveled. If it had to travel by boat, plane, or truck to get to your store or door, a lot of gas was burned to allow you to purchase the product. See if you can find a good replacement that is created closer to your home,
2-4. Eat more vegetables and other foods that were locally grown.
You can really show that you support the environment by changing some of your food buying habits. Shopping local instead of buying food that was shipped in from far away from both supports local farms and cuts down on your carbon footprint.
Shop at farmer’s markets. During the spring, summer, and fall, most towns have farmer's markets with selections of local food.
Try growing your own food. Join a community garden or make a plot in your backyard or on the patio.
Practice "Meatless Mondays." Meatless Mondays is a worldwide movement. Followers do not eat animal-based protein on Mondays. This movement helps to minimize water usage as well as reduce greenhouse gases and fuel dependence.
2-5. Join a group working to combat air pollution.
Once you start being more aware of how everyday habits affect the quality of our air, you might want to take action to do something about air pollution. Look for local and national groups working on ways to reduce carbon output and combat global warming. See what problems are being addressed in your area, and encourage others to join in.
3. Protecting Land and Wildlife
3-1. Create less waste
Some communities produce so much trash that they're running out of places to put it. If you want to take good care of the land that you, your friends, and your family call home, reducing the amount of garbage you throw away is a good place to start.
Buy minimally packaged goods. Avoid getting products that come wrapped in layers of plastic, since it's not usually biodegradable.
Recycle and reuse. When you do buy containers made of plastic, as well as containers made of glass or other reusable materials, try to find other uses for them instead of just tossing them out.
Stop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.
Start a compost pile instead of throwing out your food scraps.
Make things instead of buying them so you don't have to keep buying new bottles.
Cook at home instead of getting takeout, which often comes in plastic or styrofoam containers.
Buy a reusable water bottle instead of plastic water bottles to stop plastic from going into landfills.
Similar to water bottles, reusable shopping bags reduce the need for plastic bags which help stop pollution.
Limit your use of paper. Communicate digitally when possible and recycle paper when you use it.
3-2. Plant trees.
Trees are essential for the health of the environment. They keep the land from eroding, they clean the air, they provide shelter for animals. Trees are so powerful they even bring our stress levels down when we live among them. Do your part to help trees in these ways:
Plant native trees that will help the soil and provide shade.
Don't cut down trees unless it's completely necessary. Save as many as you can.
See if there's a local group you can work with to save patches of forest from development.
3-3. Let your yard grow a little wild.
If you have the space and inclination, consider making your yard a haven for plants, trees, and animals. So many wild places have been taken over that wild creatures need as much space as they can get. As a reward, you'll get to live next to plants and animals most people don't see every day. Here's what you can do:
Don’t use pesticides or herbicides. Let your yard be completely organic.
Grow plants that attract bees and butterflies.
Have a birdfeeder, a squirrel feeder, and a bat box.
Consider beekeeping.
Provide a water source for animals, like a birdbath or a garden pond.
Let moles, opossums, raccoons, and other animals thought of as pests live instead of getting rid of them.
3-4. Respect animals’ lives.
With so many animal species going extinct every day, it's time to rethink the way we see animals. Realizing that every creature is valuable and deserves a spot on Earth might change the way you interact with and talk about animals, and the choices you make in your everyday life. If you hunt for meat, respect and use every part of the animal whose life you have ended for your nutritional sustenance. If you care about animals, try doing the following:
Make sustainable eating choices. Eat fish that was caught in a sustainable way, and pay attention to where your fish comes from by checking a source like Seafood Watch. Try to buy all animal products from sources you know and trust.
Take care of wild places, like beaches and forests, which are habitats for animals. If you're out for a hike and you see a sign instructing you to stay on the trail, do it.
See if your local state forest or park needs volunteers to help protect animal habitat.
Help spread awareness about endangered species. Let others know that you care about animals, and educate them on how important it is to keep them safe.
3-5. Join a group working to protect your land.
Join up with an environmental group working to save the land where you live from destructive practices like clearcutting, strip mining, mountaintop removal, and fracking. These practices affect not just the land, but the trees, wildlife, air, water, and human life that depend on it.
Tips
Put notes up around your house to remind you to turn off the lights when not using them.
Use plastic bags to line your garbage bin.
Turn off and unplug devices when not in use.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Protecting Water Sources\\n1-1. Conserve water at home.\\nIt takes a lot of energy to bring water from rivers, groundwater, or whatever your local water source is into your home. Water must be pumped to a treatment plant, filtered and treated with chemicals to clean it, then pumped into your neighborhood so you can use it home. Saving as much water as possible reduces the stress this whole process puts on natural bodies of water in the environment. Here are a few ways to conserve water:\\nUse the low-water dishwashing method. Instead of having the water running the whole time, fill one sink with hot soapy water, then turn off the water and scrub the dishes. Dip them into a second sink filled with clean water, then dry and store them.\\nInstall a low-flow showerhead and take short showers. Long showers and baths use a lot more water.\\nLow-flow faucets and toilets work similarly to a low-flow showerhead.\\nUse water-saving appliances, like a dishwasher and washing machine.\\nFix leaks in your pipes so water isn't constantly coming out.\\nDon't leave the water running while you brush your teeth.\\nDon’t water your lawn. Let the rain do the work instead of pumping clean water into your front lawn. If it's legal in your area, save greywater or collect water rain barrel to use. If you want a green lawn, plant native plants or low-water plants like moss instead.\\n1-2. Use fewer chemicals.\\nChemicals washed down the drain or applied directly to the grass can taint the water supply, causing problems for wildlife and humans alike. Figure out which chemicals you can replace with something else so you can avoid washing toxins down the drain.\\nUse alternative cleaning solutions. Try white vinegar and baking soda to clean your kitchen and bathroom.\\nReconsider your personal body care items. Replace shampoos, conditioners, and soaps with natural versions. Your body will thank you, too.\\nTry natural pesticides and herbicides. Instead of spraying for weeds, try planting native species that naturally take care of the problem.\\n1-3. Never dump hazardous waste materials down the drain or into the grass.\\nPaint, motor oil, ammonia, and other strong chemical solutions should not be dumped down the drain or into the yard, because they'll seep into the groundwater. These items need to be disposed of properly. Check your local sanitation department's website to find out how to dispose of hazardous waste. You may be instructed to take them to a toxic waste site for proper disposal.\\n1-4. Help fight local water pollution.\\nChanging your personal habits regarding water and chemical usage is a great first step. By conserving water in an everyday way, you're doing your part and setting a good example for other people. But to truly make an impact, consider taking your efforts a step further. Here are a few ways to do it:\\nParticipate in a waterways clean-up day. If there's a local stream, river, or beach that's littered with trash or polluted, there's probably a local water conservation group trying to clean it up. Next time there's a clean-up day, join in. And if you can't find a group, organize one yourself!\\nSpeak up against water polluters. Thanks to loose governmental regulations, our waterways are often polluted with industrial waste dumped by corporations. Oil and chemical dumping kill aquatic life and the surrounding environment, and it makes water unsafe for people to drink as well. Investigate to see if there's a campaign for clean water in your area, and sign up to help however you can.\\n2. Helping Clean the Air\\n2-1. Conserve electricity at home.\\nIt's one of the first ways many of us are taught to be environmentally friendly, yet we all need help remembering how important it is to do things like turn off the lights when you leave the room. Everything that's powered by electricity requires the use of energy generated at power plants. The plants usually burn either coal or fossil fuel, which produces emissions that cloud up the air and make it harder for everyone to breathe. That's a heavy consequence for forgetting to shut down your computer. Here's what you can do:\\nLower the thermostat in the winter. Instead of heating the house so it's blazing hot and snowing outside, heat it just enough so that you're comfortable. Insulating your home helps keep the cold out more efficiently, too.\\nSee if you can switch to wind or solar-powered electricity, which produces fewer emissions.\\nUse less air conditioning. In the summer, see if you can handle going without air conditioning on days when it's not that hot. Save it for the sweltering days.\\nTurn off appliances and electronics when not in use. Computers, TVs, coffee pots, and more should be turned off and unplugged when you aren't using them.\\nUse energy-saving light bulbs. Incandescent bulbs (the old-fashioned kind) require more energy to burn.\\nReduce the time you spend on your electronics. While electronics are really fun and likely help you feel connected to your friends, they also use up a lot of energy.\\nLine dry your clothes instead of putting them in the dryer. Dryers can use up a lot of electricity.\\n2-2. Become less reliant on cars.\\nFrom the manufacturing of cars to the extraction and burning of the gas that powers them, to the oil and other materials used to build the roads they drive on, there's no doubt that cars and all their trappings are a major source of air pollution. Cutting back on your car use is a great way to be more environmentally friendly.\\nTake public transportation. Get familiar with the bus, subway, or train schedule in your city, and start using public transportation more often.\\nFind the bike lanes in your town. More and more cities and towns are putting in new bike lanes connecting all the major neighborhoods. Saving money on not getting gym memberships and getting free exercise is an added bonus of using bike lanes.\\nMake time for walking. If you have time for a stroll, why not walk instead of driving? Any place that's five or ten minutes away by car should be within suitable walking distance, too.\\nCarpool to work or school with other people instead of driving by yourself.\\n2-3. Shop locally.\\nYour shopping habits might not be the first thing you question when you're coming up with ways to reduce air pollution, but what people buy has a big effect on the environment. How a product was made, where it was made, and how it was packaged all play a role.\\nLook into manufacturing processes. Was it made with sustainable materials, or did its production involve the use of plastics or other chemicals? Product manufacture is also responsible for using (and wasting) a lot of water, so this is an important question to ask for more than one reason.\\nCheck labels to see how far items traveled. If it had to travel by boat, plane, or truck to get to your store or door, a lot of gas was burned to allow you to purchase the product. See if you can find a good replacement that is created closer to your home,\\n2-4. Eat more vegetables and other foods that were locally grown.\\nYou can really show that you support the environment by changing some of your food buying habits. Shopping local instead of buying food that was shipped in from far away from both supports local farms and cuts down on your carbon footprint.\\nShop at farmer’s markets. During the spring, summer, and fall, most towns have farmer's markets with selections of local food.\\nTry growing your own food. Join a community garden or make a plot in your backyard or on the patio.\\nPractice \\\"Meatless Mondays.\\\" Meatless Mondays is a worldwide movement. Followers do not eat animal-based protein on Mondays. This movement helps to minimize water usage as well as reduce greenhouse gases and fuel dependence.\\n2-5. Join a group working to combat air pollution.\\nOnce you start being more aware of how everyday habits affect the quality of our air, you might want to take action to do something about air pollution. Look for local and national groups working on ways to reduce carbon output and combat global warming. See what problems are being addressed in your area, and encourage others to join in.\\n3. Protecting Land and Wildlife\\n3-1. Create less waste\\nSome communities produce so much trash that they're running out of places to put it. If you want to take good care of the land that you, your friends, and your family call home, reducing the amount of garbage you throw away is a good place to start.\\nBuy minimally packaged goods. Avoid getting products that come wrapped in layers of plastic, since it's not usually biodegradable.\\nRecycle and reuse. When you do buy containers made of plastic, as well as containers made of glass or other reusable materials, try to find other uses for them instead of just tossing them out.\\nStop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.\\nStart a compost pile instead of throwing out your food scraps.\\nMake things instead of buying them so you don't have to keep buying new bottles.\\nCook at home instead of getting takeout, which often comes in plastic or styrofoam containers.\\nBuy a reusable water bottle instead of plastic water bottles to stop plastic from going into landfills.\\nSimilar to water bottles, reusable shopping bags reduce the need for plastic bags which help stop pollution.\\nLimit your use of paper. Communicate digitally when possible and recycle paper when you use it.\\n3-2. Plant trees.\\nTrees are essential for the health of the environment. They keep the land from eroding, they clean the air, they provide shelter for animals. Trees are so powerful they even bring our stress levels down when we live among them. Do your part to help trees in these ways:\\nPlant native trees that will help the soil and provide shade.\\nDon't cut down trees unless it's completely necessary. Save as many as you can.\\nSee if there's a local group you can work with to save patches of forest from development.\\n3-3. Let your yard grow a little wild.\\nIf you have the space and inclination, consider making your yard a haven for plants, trees, and animals. So many wild places have been taken over that wild creatures need as much space as they can get. As a reward, you'll get to live next to plants and animals most people don't see every day. Here's what you can do:\\nDon’t use pesticides or herbicides. Let your yard be completely organic.\\nGrow plants that attract bees and butterflies.\\nHave a birdfeeder, a squirrel feeder, and a bat box.\\nConsider beekeeping.\\nProvide a water source for animals, like a birdbath or a garden pond.\\nLet moles, opossums, raccoons, and other animals thought of as pests live instead of getting rid of them.\\n3-4. Respect animals’ lives.\\nWith so many animal species going extinct every day, it's time to rethink the way we see animals. Realizing that every creature is valuable and deserves a spot on Earth might change the way you interact with and talk about animals, and the choices you make in your everyday life. If you hunt for meat, respect and use every part of the animal whose life you have ended for your nutritional sustenance. If you care about animals, try doing the following:\\nMake sustainable eating choices. Eat fish that was caught in a sustainable way, and pay attention to where your fish comes from by checking a source like Seafood Watch. Try to buy all animal products from sources you know and trust.\\nTake care of wild places, like beaches and forests, which are habitats for animals. If you're out for a hike and you see a sign instructing you to stay on the trail, do it.\\nSee if your local state forest or park needs volunteers to help protect animal habitat.\\nHelp spread awareness about endangered species. Let others know that you care about animals, and educate them on how important it is to keep them safe.\\n3-5. Join a group working to protect your land.\\nJoin up with an environmental group working to save the land where you live from destructive practices like clearcutting, strip mining, mountaintop removal, and fracking. These practices affect not just the land, but the trees, wildlife, air, water, and human life that depend on it.\\nTips\\nPut notes up around your house to remind you to turn off the lights when not using them.\\nUse plastic bags to line your garbage bin.\\nTurn off and unplug devices when not in use.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"By now it’s clear that if we want to live on a planet with clean water, fresh air, and a diversity of plants and animals, we have to do everything we can to protect the Earth’s health. Being environmentally friendly means having a lifestyle that helps the Earth more than you hurt it, and speaking up when you see the world around you being harmed. Conserving water, driving less often, gardening, and sticking up for animals are all good ways to start helping. See Step 1 to learn more ways to make caring for the environment part of your daily life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Protecting Water Sources\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Conserve water at home.\", \"描述\": \"It takes a lot of energy to bring water from rivers, groundwater, or whatever your local water source is into your home. Water must be pumped to a treatment plant, filtered and treated with chemicals to clean it, then pumped into your neighborhood so you can use it home. Saving as much water as possible reduces the stress this whole process puts on natural bodies of water in the environment. Here are a few ways to conserve water:\\nUse the low-water dishwashing method. Instead of having the water running the whole time, fill one sink with hot soapy water, then turn off the water and scrub the dishes. Dip them into a second sink filled with clean water, then dry and store them.\\nInstall a low-flow showerhead and take short showers. Long showers and baths use a lot more water.\\nLow-flow faucets and toilets work similarly to a low-flow showerhead.\\nUse water-saving appliances, like a dishwasher and washing machine.\\nFix leaks in your pipes so water isn't constantly coming out.\\nDon't leave the water running while you brush your teeth.\\nDon’t water your lawn. Let the rain do the work instead of pumping clean water into your front lawn. If it's legal in your area, save greywater or collect water rain barrel to use. If you want a green lawn, plant native plants or low-water plants like moss instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use fewer chemicals.\", \"描述\": \"Chemicals washed down the drain or applied directly to the grass can taint the water supply, causing problems for wildlife and humans alike. Figure out which chemicals you can replace with something else so you can avoid washing toxins down the drain.\\nUse alternative cleaning solutions. Try white vinegar and baking soda to clean your kitchen and bathroom.\\nReconsider your personal body care items. Replace shampoos, conditioners, and soaps with natural versions. Your body will thank you, too.\\nTry natural pesticides and herbicides. Instead of spraying for weeds, try planting native species that naturally take care of the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Never dump hazardous waste materials down the drain or into the grass.\", \"描述\": \"Paint, motor oil, ammonia, and other strong chemical solutions should not be dumped down the drain or into the yard, because they'll seep into the groundwater. These items need to be disposed of properly. Check your local sanitation department's website to find out how to dispose of hazardous waste. You may be instructed to take them to a toxic waste site for proper disposal.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help fight local water pollution.\", \"描述\": \"Changing your personal habits regarding water and chemical usage is a great first step. By conserving water in an everyday way, you're doing your part and setting a good example for other people. But to truly make an impact, consider taking your efforts a step further. Here are a few ways to do it:\\nParticipate in a waterways clean-up day. If there's a local stream, river, or beach that's littered with trash or polluted, there's probably a local water conservation group trying to clean it up. Next time there's a clean-up day, join in. And if you can't find a group, organize one yourself!\\nSpeak up against water polluters. Thanks to loose governmental regulations, our waterways are often polluted with industrial waste dumped by corporations. Oil and chemical dumping kill aquatic life and the surrounding environment, and it makes water unsafe for people to drink as well. Investigate to see if there's a campaign for clean water in your area, and sign up to help however you can.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Helping Clean the Air\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Conserve electricity at home.\", \"描述\": \"It's one of the first ways many of us are taught to be environmentally friendly, yet we all need help remembering how important it is to do things like turn off the lights when you leave the room. Everything that's powered by electricity requires the use of energy generated at power plants. The plants usually burn either coal or fossil fuel, which produces emissions that cloud up the air and make it harder for everyone to breathe. That's a heavy consequence for forgetting to shut down your computer. Here's what you can do:\\nLower the thermostat in the winter. Instead of heating the house so it's blazing hot and snowing outside, heat it just enough so that you're comfortable. Insulating your home helps keep the cold out more efficiently, too.\\nSee if you can switch to wind or solar-powered electricity, which produces fewer emissions.\\nUse less air conditioning. In the summer, see if you can handle going without air conditioning on days when it's not that hot. Save it for the sweltering days.\\nTurn off appliances and electronics when not in use. Computers, TVs, coffee pots, and more should be turned off and unplugged when you aren't using them.\\nUse energy-saving light bulbs. Incandescent bulbs (the old-fashioned kind) require more energy to burn.\\nReduce the time you spend on your electronics. While electronics are really fun and likely help you feel connected to your friends, they also use up a lot of energy.\\nLine dry your clothes instead of putting them in the dryer. Dryers can use up a lot of electricity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become less reliant on cars.\", \"描述\": \"From the manufacturing of cars to the extraction and burning of the gas that powers them, to the oil and other materials used to build the roads they drive on, there's no doubt that cars and all their trappings are a major source of air pollution. Cutting back on your car use is a great way to be more environmentally friendly.\\nTake public transportation. Get familiar with the bus, subway, or train schedule in your city, and start using public transportation more often.\\nFind the bike lanes in your town. More and more cities and towns are putting in new bike lanes connecting all the major neighborhoods. Saving money on not getting gym memberships and getting free exercise is an added bonus of using bike lanes.\\nMake time for walking. If you have time for a stroll, why not walk instead of driving? Any place that's five or ten minutes away by car should be within suitable walking distance, too.\\nCarpool to work or school with other people instead of driving by yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shop locally.\", \"描述\": \"Your shopping habits might not be the first thing you question when you're coming up with ways to reduce air pollution, but what people buy has a big effect on the environment. How a product was made, where it was made, and how it was packaged all play a role.\\nLook into manufacturing processes. Was it made with sustainable materials, or did its production involve the use of plastics or other chemicals? Product manufacture is also responsible for using (and wasting) a lot of water, so this is an important question to ask for more than one reason.\\nCheck labels to see how far items traveled. If it had to travel by boat, plane, or truck to get to your store or door, a lot of gas was burned to allow you to purchase the product. See if you can find a good replacement that is created closer to your home,\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat more vegetables and other foods that were locally grown.\", \"描述\": \"You can really show that you support the environment by changing some of your food buying habits. Shopping local instead of buying food that was shipped in from far away from both supports local farms and cuts down on your carbon footprint.\\nShop at farmer’s markets. During the spring, summer, and fall, most towns have farmer's markets with selections of local food.\\nTry growing your own food. Join a community garden or make a plot in your backyard or on the patio.\\nPractice \\\"Meatless Mondays.\\\" Meatless Mondays is a worldwide movement. Followers do not eat animal-based protein on Mondays. This movement helps to minimize water usage as well as reduce greenhouse gases and fuel dependence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a group working to combat air pollution.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start being more aware of how everyday habits affect the quality of our air, you might want to take action to do something about air pollution. Look for local and national groups working on ways to reduce carbon output and combat global warming. See what problems are being addressed in your area, and encourage others to join in.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protecting Land and Wildlife\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create less waste\", \"描述\": \"Some communities produce so much trash that they're running out of places to put it. If you want to take good care of the land that you, your friends, and your family call home, reducing the amount of garbage you throw away is a good place to start.\\nBuy minimally packaged goods. Avoid getting products that come wrapped in layers of plastic, since it's not usually biodegradable.\\nRecycle and reuse. When you do buy containers made of plastic, as well as containers made of glass or other reusable materials, try to find other uses for them instead of just tossing them out.\\nStop using plastic wrap and plastic containers for food storage. Store leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic bags and cover food with bees wrap instead of plastic wrap.\\nStart a compost pile instead of throwing out your food scraps.\\nMake things instead of buying them so you don't have to keep buying new bottles.\\nCook at home instead of getting takeout, which often comes in plastic or styrofoam containers.\\nBuy a reusable water bottle instead of plastic water bottles to stop plastic from going into landfills.\\nSimilar to water bottles, reusable shopping bags reduce the need for plastic bags which help stop pollution.\\nLimit your use of paper. Communicate digitally when possible and recycle paper when you use it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plant trees.\", \"描述\": \"Trees are essential for the health of the environment. They keep the land from eroding, they clean the air, they provide shelter for animals. Trees are so powerful they even bring our stress levels down when we live among them. Do your part to help trees in these ways:\\nPlant native trees that will help the soil and provide shade.\\nDon't cut down trees unless it's completely necessary. Save as many as you can.\\nSee if there's a local group you can work with to save patches of forest from development.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let your yard grow a little wild.\", \"描述\": \"If you have the space and inclination, consider making your yard a haven for plants, trees, and animals. So many wild places have been taken over that wild creatures need as much space as they can get. As a reward, you'll get to live next to plants and animals most people don't see every day. Here's what you can do:\\nDon’t use pesticides or herbicides. Let your yard be completely organic.\\nGrow plants that attract bees and butterflies.\\nHave a birdfeeder, a squirrel feeder, and a bat box.\\nConsider beekeeping.\\nProvide a water source for animals, like a birdbath or a garden pond.\\nLet moles, opossums, raccoons, and other animals thought of as pests live instead of getting rid of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect animals’ lives.\", \"描述\": \"With so many animal species going extinct every day, it's time to rethink the way we see animals. Realizing that every creature is valuable and deserves a spot on Earth might change the way you interact with and talk about animals, and the choices you make in your everyday life. If you hunt for meat, respect and use every part of the animal whose life you have ended for your nutritional sustenance. If you care about animals, try doing the following:\\nMake sustainable eating choices. Eat fish that was caught in a sustainable way, and pay attention to where your fish comes from by checking a source like Seafood Watch. Try to buy all animal products from sources you know and trust.\\nTake care of wild places, like beaches and forests, which are habitats for animals. If you're out for a hike and you see a sign instructing you to stay on the trail, do it.\\nSee if your local state forest or park needs volunteers to help protect animal habitat.\\nHelp spread awareness about endangered species. Let others know that you care about animals, and educate them on how important it is to keep them safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a group working to protect your land.\", \"描述\": \"Join up with an environmental group working to save the land where you live from destructive practices like clearcutting, strip mining, mountaintop removal, and fracking. These practices affect not just the land, but the trees, wildlife, air, water, and human life that depend on it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Put notes up around your house to remind you to turn off the lights when not using them.\\n\", \"Use plastic bags to line your garbage bin.\\n\", \"Turn off and unplug devices when not in use.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,705 | How to Be Exciting | 1. Making Your Life Exciting
1-1. Always be doing something.
Spending a bunch of time sitting around on your couch is the fastest way to be super boring. By constantly getting out there and doing something, anything, you'll be making yourself much more interesting. It gives you something to talk about in conversations with other people and makes it look like you at least have some kind of life, even if it isn't the most exciting life ever.
1-2. Travel everywhere.
Traveling is an easy way to make yourself and your life more exciting. Aside from the incredibly rewarding experiences you will have while doing this, it will also make you more confident and help teach you to cope with challenges in your life. You can travel locally or internationally, and traveling doesn't have to be as expensive as it seems. You can do it!
1-3. Be an adventurer.
Do adventurous things. Go hiking. Learn to rock climb. Try scuba diving. Maybe jump out of some planes. This is the fastest way to take your life from boring to action hero. They're also not that hard to do: all you need is some education, determination, and a certain dose of bravery.
1-4. Learn new skills.
You can also be a bit more boring about your being exciting, by learning cool new skills. You can learn to play the piano, master those guitar skills you started in high school, take up painting, or go with really unique hobbies like leather working or falconry. The most important thing is to pursue something that makes you happy and that you can get invested in.
1-5. Consider a more exciting job.
Now, this isn't for everybody. Sometimes you have a family to support, or other obligations that take precedence over being more exciting. But if you have the opportunity to, get yourself into a career path that you (or maybe even other people) find exciting. It'll do you a lot of favors in the long run because you will be more invested in the "boring" part of your day because the boring part of your day will be awesome!
You could take a job overseas, work on something that's in that "cutting edge technology" category, or work with kids (who are well known for bringing the excitement 24/7).
1-6. Make things.
Use skills you already have or learn some new ones and you can get on your way to doing what humans do best: making new things. You can make things just for you or turn your craft into a whole business. Being creative lets you express who you are but it also makes you more interesting to other people. Everyone wins!
2. Making Yourself Exciting
2-1. Enjoy life.
Don't be a downer. Don't always complain or spend a bunch of time insulting or being down on other people. You can be as exciting as you want, but if you're a jerk then you're not really going to have anyone to enjoy that with. Make the most of life, even when it's handing out lemons like they're going out of style. Everyone will be better for it.
2-2. Take risks.
This is an essential part of making your life more exciting and being a more exciting person. You can't be exciting if you're always doing the same thing, even if that same thing is a little exciting. You have to take risks sometimes (a piece of advice that's handy for life in general). Don't go crazy though. Look at risks in terms of potential loss vs. potential gain. If you stand to lose only a little but gain a lot, go for it. If it's the other way around, wait for something better or blaze your own path.
Don't forget, you can often make your own Option C, if neither A nor B is really going to work for you.
2-3. Embrace who you are.
And if who you are is a pointy-ear-wearing, Star-Trek-watching nerd, that's okay. No matter what your eccentricity is, run with it. It will make you stand out but it will also make you fun to be around and more interesting to talk to because you will be happy and enjoying what you do with your life.
2-4. Learn stuff.
Constantly learn new things. Bonus points if you learn by doing! Filling your head with a world of experiences and knowledge is going to make you way more fun to talk to and you'll find that you enjoy the pursuit of knowledge along the way.
2-5. Be original
Everyone is unique. Absolutely everyone. If identical twins are different from each other and are unique, you can certainly manage. Find what is unique about you, what makes you different, and embrace that. Even if it's weird. You might not have to fly pride flags everywhere, but you can certainly make it a bigger part of your life. You'll find that it generally makes you happier.
2-6. Be funny and positive.
People love people that are funny, so develop a good joke repertoire and make people laugh. Find the positive side of problems. Make life seem less serious every now and again, or at least remind people that it's okay to laugh and relax. This will make you and everyone around you a lot happier.
Your alternative is to be incredibly racist and offensive (the brand of exciting usually saved for grandparents who aren't particularly with the times), and you probably don't want to be that kind of exciting. Or maybe you do. Good luck with that.
2-7. Be consistent.
Don't think that constantly changing your hair or dress is going to make you seem more exciting. The same can be said of trying a thousand hobbies and professions. Constantly changing drastically from one thing to the next doesn't make you exciting, it makes people think you're frivolous and not invested in anything. You'll seem like you do it for the attention. Find what matters to you and let changes come naturally.
3. Exciting Others
3-1. Talk to people.
Get out there and be social! Talk to your friends. Spend time with them. Go to parties. Have fun. Show your friends all of the cool stuff you've been working on (you followed the steps in the first two sections, right?). This lets you show the exciting stuff you've done if you want to but it also gives you one more way to get out there and do something more interesting than sitting on your couch.
3-2. Have exciting friends.
Now, we're not trying to say that having more exciting friends will make you more exciting. That's not healthy. But more exciting friends will invite you to do exciting things, giving you opportunities to try new things. They'll also be more willing to join you on your own adventure.
3-3. Give back.
Volunteer. Improve your community with the skills that you have. Help show other people how to turn their lives around by taking on challenges, just like you did in order to change how you were living your life. This act of giving back makes you more exciting, but it also will help others and give you a great sense of fulfillment.
3-4. Educate others.
As you go around doing all of these exciting things, you will learn lots of cool or useful information. Make good use of this by educating others. You can give classes, or just have some fun facts for your friends at parties. People will enjoy living vicariously through the things you learn and tell them.
3-5. Leave the ego at home.
Don't, however, boast or spend a lot of time rubbing it in people's faces. Your life is exciting, they know. If they want to know more, they'll ask, so try not to make every other sentence out of your mouth about "This one time I....".
3-6. Be ready for criticism
You're probably going to break or bend the rules, either real ones or just social conventions, along the way. This is natural, since being exciting usually means going against the grain a bit. Someone is going to find something "wrong" with what you're doing, even if they're the one who is really wrong. Learn to cope with the haters and you'll be much happier.
Tips
Be able to speak up for yourself![24]
X
Research source
Always smile. Never have a dull moment.
Always be able to take a joke.
Warnings
Stay away from those bad people who can bring you down.
If you like something, do it! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Don't be exciting to the point of obnoxious. Unless that's what you're going for.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Your Life Exciting\\n1-1. Always be doing something.\\nSpending a bunch of time sitting around on your couch is the fastest way to be super boring. By constantly getting out there and doing something, anything, you'll be making yourself much more interesting. It gives you something to talk about in conversations with other people and makes it look like you at least have some kind of life, even if it isn't the most exciting life ever.\\n1-2. Travel everywhere.\\nTraveling is an easy way to make yourself and your life more exciting. Aside from the incredibly rewarding experiences you will have while doing this, it will also make you more confident and help teach you to cope with challenges in your life. You can travel locally or internationally, and traveling doesn't have to be as expensive as it seems. You can do it!\\n1-3. Be an adventurer.\\nDo adventurous things. Go hiking. Learn to rock climb. Try scuba diving. Maybe jump out of some planes. This is the fastest way to take your life from boring to action hero. They're also not that hard to do: all you need is some education, determination, and a certain dose of bravery.\\n1-4. Learn new skills.\\nYou can also be a bit more boring about your being exciting, by learning cool new skills. You can learn to play the piano, master those guitar skills you started in high school, take up painting, or go with really unique hobbies like leather working or falconry. The most important thing is to pursue something that makes you happy and that you can get invested in.\\n1-5. Consider a more exciting job.\\nNow, this isn't for everybody. Sometimes you have a family to support, or other obligations that take precedence over being more exciting. But if you have the opportunity to, get yourself into a career path that you (or maybe even other people) find exciting. It'll do you a lot of favors in the long run because you will be more invested in the \\\"boring\\\" part of your day because the boring part of your day will be awesome!\\nYou could take a job overseas, work on something that's in that \\\"cutting edge technology\\\" category, or work with kids (who are well known for bringing the excitement 24/7).\\n1-6. Make things.\\nUse skills you already have or learn some new ones and you can get on your way to doing what humans do best: making new things. You can make things just for you or turn your craft into a whole business. Being creative lets you express who you are but it also makes you more interesting to other people. Everyone wins!\\n2. Making Yourself Exciting\\n2-1. Enjoy life.\\nDon't be a downer. Don't always complain or spend a bunch of time insulting or being down on other people. You can be as exciting as you want, but if you're a jerk then you're not really going to have anyone to enjoy that with. Make the most of life, even when it's handing out lemons like they're going out of style. Everyone will be better for it.\\n2-2. Take risks.\\nThis is an essential part of making your life more exciting and being a more exciting person. You can't be exciting if you're always doing the same thing, even if that same thing is a little exciting. You have to take risks sometimes (a piece of advice that's handy for life in general). Don't go crazy though. Look at risks in terms of potential loss vs. potential gain. If you stand to lose only a little but gain a lot, go for it. If it's the other way around, wait for something better or blaze your own path.\\nDon't forget, you can often make your own Option C, if neither A nor B is really going to work for you.\\n2-3. Embrace who you are.\\nAnd if who you are is a pointy-ear-wearing, Star-Trek-watching nerd, that's okay. No matter what your eccentricity is, run with it. It will make you stand out but it will also make you fun to be around and more interesting to talk to because you will be happy and enjoying what you do with your life.\\n2-4. Learn stuff.\\nConstantly learn new things. Bonus points if you learn by doing! Filling your head with a world of experiences and knowledge is going to make you way more fun to talk to and you'll find that you enjoy the pursuit of knowledge along the way.\\n2-5. Be original\\nEveryone is unique. Absolutely everyone. If identical twins are different from each other and are unique, you can certainly manage. Find what is unique about you, what makes you different, and embrace that. Even if it's weird. You might not have to fly pride flags everywhere, but you can certainly make it a bigger part of your life. You'll find that it generally makes you happier.\\n2-6. Be funny and positive.\\nPeople love people that are funny, so develop a good joke repertoire and make people laugh. Find the positive side of problems. Make life seem less serious every now and again, or at least remind people that it's okay to laugh and relax. This will make you and everyone around you a lot happier.\\nYour alternative is to be incredibly racist and offensive (the brand of exciting usually saved for grandparents who aren't particularly with the times), and you probably don't want to be that kind of exciting. Or maybe you do. Good luck with that.\\n2-7. Be consistent.\\nDon't think that constantly changing your hair or dress is going to make you seem more exciting. The same can be said of trying a thousand hobbies and professions. Constantly changing drastically from one thing to the next doesn't make you exciting, it makes people think you're frivolous and not invested in anything. You'll seem like you do it for the attention. Find what matters to you and let changes come naturally.\\n3. Exciting Others\\n3-1. Talk to people.\\nGet out there and be social! Talk to your friends. Spend time with them. Go to parties. Have fun. Show your friends all of the cool stuff you've been working on (you followed the steps in the first two sections, right?). This lets you show the exciting stuff you've done if you want to but it also gives you one more way to get out there and do something more interesting than sitting on your couch.\\n3-2. Have exciting friends.\\nNow, we're not trying to say that having more exciting friends will make you more exciting. That's not healthy. But more exciting friends will invite you to do exciting things, giving you opportunities to try new things. They'll also be more willing to join you on your own adventure.\\n3-3. Give back.\\nVolunteer. Improve your community with the skills that you have. Help show other people how to turn their lives around by taking on challenges, just like you did in order to change how you were living your life. This act of giving back makes you more exciting, but it also will help others and give you a great sense of fulfillment.\\n3-4. Educate others.\\nAs you go around doing all of these exciting things, you will learn lots of cool or useful information. Make good use of this by educating others. You can give classes, or just have some fun facts for your friends at parties. People will enjoy living vicariously through the things you learn and tell them.\\n3-5. Leave the ego at home.\\nDon't, however, boast or spend a lot of time rubbing it in people's faces. Your life is exciting, they know. If they want to know more, they'll ask, so try not to make every other sentence out of your mouth about \\\"This one time I....\\\".\\n3-6. Be ready for criticism\\nYou're probably going to break or bend the rules, either real ones or just social conventions, along the way. This is natural, since being exciting usually means going against the grain a bit. Someone is going to find something \\\"wrong\\\" with what you're doing, even if they're the one who is really wrong. Learn to cope with the haters and you'll be much happier.\\nTips\\nBe able to speak up for yourself![24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAlways smile. Never have a dull moment.\\nAlways be able to take a joke.\\nWarnings\\nStay away from those bad people who can bring you down.\\nIf you like something, do it! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.\\nDon't be exciting to the point of obnoxious. Unless that's what you're going for.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you feel like your life is just too boring, you're looking to impress a certain someone, or you've been flat-out accused of being about exciting as grandma's knitting group, you've come to the right place. Read the article below to learn how to bring life to any party (because everywhere you go is going to be a party from now on)!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Your Life Exciting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always be doing something.\", \"描述\": \"Spending a bunch of time sitting around on your couch is the fastest way to be super boring. By constantly getting out there and doing something, anything, you'll be making yourself much more interesting. It gives you something to talk about in conversations with other people and makes it look like you at least have some kind of life, even if it isn't the most exciting life ever.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel everywhere.\", \"描述\": \"Traveling is an easy way to make yourself and your life more exciting. Aside from the incredibly rewarding experiences you will have while doing this, it will also make you more confident and help teach you to cope with challenges in your life. You can travel locally or internationally, and traveling doesn't have to be as expensive as it seems. You can do it!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be an adventurer.\", \"描述\": \"Do adventurous things. Go hiking. Learn to rock climb. Try scuba diving. Maybe jump out of some planes. This is the fastest way to take your life from boring to action hero. They're also not that hard to do: all you need is some education, determination, and a certain dose of bravery.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn new skills.\", \"描述\": \"You can also be a bit more boring about your being exciting, by learning cool new skills. You can learn to play the piano, master those guitar skills you started in high school, take up painting, or go with really unique hobbies like leather working or falconry. The most important thing is to pursue something that makes you happy and that you can get invested in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider a more exciting job.\", \"描述\": \"Now, this isn't for everybody. Sometimes you have a family to support, or other obligations that take precedence over being more exciting. But if you have the opportunity to, get yourself into a career path that you (or maybe even other people) find exciting. It'll do you a lot of favors in the long run because you will be more invested in the \\\"boring\\\" part of your day because the boring part of your day will be awesome!\\nYou could take a job overseas, work on something that's in that \\\"cutting edge technology\\\" category, or work with kids (who are well known for bringing the excitement 24/7).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make things.\", \"描述\": \"Use skills you already have or learn some new ones and you can get on your way to doing what humans do best: making new things. You can make things just for you or turn your craft into a whole business. Being creative lets you express who you are but it also makes you more interesting to other people. Everyone wins!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Yourself Exciting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy life.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be a downer. Don't always complain or spend a bunch of time insulting or being down on other people. You can be as exciting as you want, but if you're a jerk then you're not really going to have anyone to enjoy that with. Make the most of life, even when it's handing out lemons like they're going out of style. Everyone will be better for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take risks.\", \"描述\": \"This is an essential part of making your life more exciting and being a more exciting person. You can't be exciting if you're always doing the same thing, even if that same thing is a little exciting. You have to take risks sometimes (a piece of advice that's handy for life in general). Don't go crazy though. Look at risks in terms of potential loss vs. potential gain. If you stand to lose only a little but gain a lot, go for it. If it's the other way around, wait for something better or blaze your own path.\\nDon't forget, you can often make your own Option C, if neither A nor B is really going to work for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace who you are.\", \"描述\": \"And if who you are is a pointy-ear-wearing, Star-Trek-watching nerd, that's okay. No matter what your eccentricity is, run with it. It will make you stand out but it will also make you fun to be around and more interesting to talk to because you will be happy and enjoying what you do with your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn stuff.\", \"描述\": \"Constantly learn new things. Bonus points if you learn by doing! Filling your head with a world of experiences and knowledge is going to make you way more fun to talk to and you'll find that you enjoy the pursuit of knowledge along the way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be original\", \"描述\": \"Everyone is unique. Absolutely everyone. If identical twins are different from each other and are unique, you can certainly manage. Find what is unique about you, what makes you different, and embrace that. Even if it's weird. You might not have to fly pride flags everywhere, but you can certainly make it a bigger part of your life. You'll find that it generally makes you happier.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be funny and positive.\", \"描述\": \"People love people that are funny, so develop a good joke repertoire and make people laugh. Find the positive side of problems. Make life seem less serious every now and again, or at least remind people that it's okay to laugh and relax. This will make you and everyone around you a lot happier.\\nYour alternative is to be incredibly racist and offensive (the brand of exciting usually saved for grandparents who aren't particularly with the times), and you probably don't want to be that kind of exciting. Or maybe you do. Good luck with that.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be consistent.\", \"描述\": \"Don't think that constantly changing your hair or dress is going to make you seem more exciting. The same can be said of trying a thousand hobbies and professions. Constantly changing drastically from one thing to the next doesn't make you exciting, it makes people think you're frivolous and not invested in anything. You'll seem like you do it for the attention. Find what matters to you and let changes come naturally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exciting Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to people.\", \"描述\": \"Get out there and be social! Talk to your friends. Spend time with them. Go to parties. Have fun. Show your friends all of the cool stuff you've been working on (you followed the steps in the first two sections, right?). This lets you show the exciting stuff you've done if you want to but it also gives you one more way to get out there and do something more interesting than sitting on your couch.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have exciting friends.\", \"描述\": \"Now, we're not trying to say that having more exciting friends will make you more exciting. That's not healthy. But more exciting friends will invite you to do exciting things, giving you opportunities to try new things. They'll also be more willing to join you on your own adventure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give back.\", \"描述\": \"Volunteer. Improve your community with the skills that you have. Help show other people how to turn their lives around by taking on challenges, just like you did in order to change how you were living your life. This act of giving back makes you more exciting, but it also will help others and give you a great sense of fulfillment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Educate others.\", \"描述\": \"As you go around doing all of these exciting things, you will learn lots of cool or useful information. Make good use of this by educating others. You can give classes, or just have some fun facts for your friends at parties. People will enjoy living vicariously through the things you learn and tell them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave the ego at home.\", \"描述\": \"Don't, however, boast or spend a lot of time rubbing it in people's faces. Your life is exciting, they know. If they want to know more, they'll ask, so try not to make every other sentence out of your mouth about \\\"This one time I....\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be ready for criticism\", \"描述\": \"You're probably going to break or bend the rules, either real ones or just social conventions, along the way. This is natural, since being exciting usually means going against the grain a bit. Someone is going to find something \\\"wrong\\\" with what you're doing, even if they're the one who is really wrong. Learn to cope with the haters and you'll be much happier.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be able to speak up for yourself![24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Always smile. Never have a dull moment.\\n\", \"Always be able to take a joke.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Stay away from those bad people who can bring you down.\\n\", \"If you like something, do it! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.\\n\", \"Don't be exciting to the point of obnoxious. Unless that's what you're going for.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,706 | How to Be Expressive | 1. Communicating with More Non-Verbal Expression
1-1. Use hand gestures.
There is evidence that using hand gestures when you talk makes people more likely to listen to you. It can also help you remember what it is you are trying to say.
Don’t make them too big! Your hand gestures should be kept "inside the box". This means keeping your hands inside the area of the top of your chest and the bottom of your waist. Outside of that, and they will become distracting.
Make your hand gestures smooth. When you use your hands to add expression, it should appear as natural as possible. You want to avoid looking like a robot.
The best way to make sure they look fluid and natural is to practice in front of the mirror.
If you give a speech, you could also film yourself to see what gestures you tend to use often.
1-2. Use your face to convey emotion.
This takes a lot of practice, most of which you must do on your own. The best communicators, however, know how to use their face in order to make their point.
Arching an eyebrow can convey that you are surprised or skeptical about something.
Frown when you disapprove or are concerned about something.
Grimace when you are worried, afraid, or in pain.
Most importantly, smile! If you are happy about something, pleased with an outcome, or simply happy to be in someone's company, you should smile to express this emotion. Nearly everyone enjoys a nice smile.
1-3. Become aware of your body language.
This can be tricky for some. However, your body language is usually the first thing people will notice, so it is important to be aware of what you are conveying.
If you want to appear more confident, assume a “power pose”. This means standing with your feet apart and your chin slightly elevated (not pointed in the air). If you are sitting in a chair, you might lean back and put your hands behind your head. This will not only make you look more confident, but it may also help you feel more confident.
If you want to demonstrate agreement, mirror the expressions and postures of the person you are talking with. This doesn’t mean mimicking them completely, but rather noticing the general expressions and body language, and letting yourself slip into a similar posture.
To have an open friendly posture, make sure your arms are not crossed, but relaxed at your sides with your palms open (i.e. not balled into fists). If you are sitting, uncross your legs, and keep them relaxed. Point your body in the direction of the person you are talking to.
2. Using Your Voice More Expressively
2-1. Vary the volume.
This can help keep your voice from becoming monotone. You should always speak loudly enough so that everyone who is listening can hear you, but you can vary the volume to make it more interesting. Be careful that you aren't shouting, though!
When you are telling a story you can begin quietly and raise the volume as you reach the climax of the story.
2-2. Vary the pitch.
This is very important for being more expressive. If you raise your pitch, your voice will become slightly higher, if you lower your pitch, it will become slightly deeper. For example, when asking a question, most people tend to raise the pitch.
If you want to make a positive statement, or agree with an idea, ending a statement on a slightly lower pitch is a good idea. If you want to create doubt in your listener, end in a slightly higher pitch.
If you want to sound authoritative, you should maintain a slightly lower pitch.
2-3. Use pauses.
When speaking, this can be difficult. Often a pause of even a few seconds can seem like an eternity if you are a bit shy in social situations. However, using pauses creates drama and makes you appear more confident. Pausing can also give listeners a chance to absorb what you have said.
Don’t pause for too long! A few seconds should be sufficient.
2-4. Practice speaking.
If you find that you have a hard time being expressive with your voice, then keep practicing!
You can do this by practicing speeches by yourself, in front of a mirror.
You could also do this in a public speaking class, or with a trusted friend or teacher. However you do it, the only way to get better is to keep trying!
3. Expressing Yourself Through Other Mediums
3-1. Learn to play an instrument
If you are looking for hobbies that will allow you to become more expressive, consider learning an instrument. Music is often seen as a great way for expressing one’s self.
Choose an instrument that you feel will allow you to express yourself accurately. This simply means that you should choose an instrument that excites you. Many choose the guitar, but if the clarinet or oboe feels right for you, then try that.
3-2. Write in a journal.
Keeping a journal is believed the be a very good way to express yourself. It can help you work out problems and work through thoughts and ideas in a way that is unique to you.
You can keep your journal private, or you can share it with others if you wish.
You can also keep your journal on paper or in a document on your computer.
Try writing down the things that happened on any given day, and writing down how these events made you feel.
In your journal you can write letters to people you don’t get to see anymore, or write letters to say things you are afraid to say. Maybe you will send them, maybe you won’t.
Write down dreams and ideas. Think of things you’d like to accomplish in your life and write those down.
3-3. Draw, color, or paint.
Whichever medium you choose, do it as freely as you like. You can simply pick up a color and see where your hand takes you. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your skill, it will give you an outlet where you can express feelings and emotions in a way that has meaning only for you.
3-4. Sing.
If you enjoy singing, then do so. You can write your own song or you can just sing songs that you enjoy. If this helps you to express things you cannot or don’t want to put into words in any other way, then embrace it!
If you want to, you can do this at karaoke, or open mic nights, or you can just do it in the privacy of your own home or bedroom. The important part is not who hears it, but that you have found a way that helps you express yourself.
3-5. Write poetry.
Writing poetry has been an ideal method of self-expression for hundreds of years. Many people use it to express complicated emotions in an eloquent way, and with practice, you can improve your skills immensely. However, if you are simply looking for a method for expressing yourself through poetry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Tips
Practice, practice, practice! Being expressive does not come easily to very many people. The more you put yourself into situations where you can practice, the easier it will get.
Warnings
It is likely that while you are practicing and putting yourself into new situations, you will stumble and say the wrong thing or make the wrong hand gesture. You might even accidentally offend someone. Take these as learning experiences, rather than as failures.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating with More Non-Verbal Expression\\n1-1. Use hand gestures.\\nThere is evidence that using hand gestures when you talk makes people more likely to listen to you. It can also help you remember what it is you are trying to say.\\nDon’t make them too big! Your hand gestures should be kept \\\"inside the box\\\". This means keeping your hands inside the area of the top of your chest and the bottom of your waist. Outside of that, and they will become distracting.\\nMake your hand gestures smooth. When you use your hands to add expression, it should appear as natural as possible. You want to avoid looking like a robot.\\nThe best way to make sure they look fluid and natural is to practice in front of the mirror.\\nIf you give a speech, you could also film yourself to see what gestures you tend to use often.\\n1-2. Use your face to convey emotion.\\nThis takes a lot of practice, most of which you must do on your own. The best communicators, however, know how to use their face in order to make their point.\\nArching an eyebrow can convey that you are surprised or skeptical about something.\\nFrown when you disapprove or are concerned about something.\\nGrimace when you are worried, afraid, or in pain.\\nMost importantly, smile! If you are happy about something, pleased with an outcome, or simply happy to be in someone's company, you should smile to express this emotion. Nearly everyone enjoys a nice smile.\\n1-3. Become aware of your body language.\\nThis can be tricky for some. However, your body language is usually the first thing people will notice, so it is important to be aware of what you are conveying.\\nIf you want to appear more confident, assume a “power pose”. This means standing with your feet apart and your chin slightly elevated (not pointed in the air). If you are sitting in a chair, you might lean back and put your hands behind your head. This will not only make you look more confident, but it may also help you feel more confident.\\nIf you want to demonstrate agreement, mirror the expressions and postures of the person you are talking with. This doesn’t mean mimicking them completely, but rather noticing the general expressions and body language, and letting yourself slip into a similar posture.\\nTo have an open friendly posture, make sure your arms are not crossed, but relaxed at your sides with your palms open (i.e. not balled into fists). If you are sitting, uncross your legs, and keep them relaxed. Point your body in the direction of the person you are talking to.\\n2. Using Your Voice More Expressively\\n2-1. Vary the volume.\\nThis can help keep your voice from becoming monotone. You should always speak loudly enough so that everyone who is listening can hear you, but you can vary the volume to make it more interesting. Be careful that you aren't shouting, though!\\nWhen you are telling a story you can begin quietly and raise the volume as you reach the climax of the story.\\n2-2. Vary the pitch.\\nThis is very important for being more expressive. If you raise your pitch, your voice will become slightly higher, if you lower your pitch, it will become slightly deeper. For example, when asking a question, most people tend to raise the pitch.\\nIf you want to make a positive statement, or agree with an idea, ending a statement on a slightly lower pitch is a good idea. If you want to create doubt in your listener, end in a slightly higher pitch.\\nIf you want to sound authoritative, you should maintain a slightly lower pitch.\\n2-3. Use pauses.\\nWhen speaking, this can be difficult. Often a pause of even a few seconds can seem like an eternity if you are a bit shy in social situations. However, using pauses creates drama and makes you appear more confident. Pausing can also give listeners a chance to absorb what you have said.\\nDon’t pause for too long! A few seconds should be sufficient.\\n2-4. Practice speaking.\\nIf you find that you have a hard time being expressive with your voice, then keep practicing!\\nYou can do this by practicing speeches by yourself, in front of a mirror.\\nYou could also do this in a public speaking class, or with a trusted friend or teacher. However you do it, the only way to get better is to keep trying!\\n3. Expressing Yourself Through Other Mediums\\n3-1. Learn to play an instrument\\nIf you are looking for hobbies that will allow you to become more expressive, consider learning an instrument. Music is often seen as a great way for expressing one’s self.\\nChoose an instrument that you feel will allow you to express yourself accurately. This simply means that you should choose an instrument that excites you. Many choose the guitar, but if the clarinet or oboe feels right for you, then try that.\\n3-2. Write in a journal.\\nKeeping a journal is believed the be a very good way to express yourself. It can help you work out problems and work through thoughts and ideas in a way that is unique to you.\\nYou can keep your journal private, or you can share it with others if you wish.\\nYou can also keep your journal on paper or in a document on your computer.\\nTry writing down the things that happened on any given day, and writing down how these events made you feel.\\nIn your journal you can write letters to people you don’t get to see anymore, or write letters to say things you are afraid to say. Maybe you will send them, maybe you won’t.\\nWrite down dreams and ideas. Think of things you’d like to accomplish in your life and write those down.\\n3-3. Draw, color, or paint.\\nWhichever medium you choose, do it as freely as you like. You can simply pick up a color and see where your hand takes you. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your skill, it will give you an outlet where you can express feelings and emotions in a way that has meaning only for you.\\n3-4. Sing.\\nIf you enjoy singing, then do so. You can write your own song or you can just sing songs that you enjoy. If this helps you to express things you cannot or don’t want to put into words in any other way, then embrace it!\\nIf you want to, you can do this at karaoke, or open mic nights, or you can just do it in the privacy of your own home or bedroom. The important part is not who hears it, but that you have found a way that helps you express yourself.\\n3-5. Write poetry.\\nWriting poetry has been an ideal method of self-expression for hundreds of years. Many people use it to express complicated emotions in an eloquent way, and with practice, you can improve your skills immensely. However, if you are simply looking for a method for expressing yourself through poetry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.\\nTips\\nPractice, practice, practice! Being expressive does not come easily to very many people. The more you put yourself into situations where you can practice, the easier it will get.\\nWarnings\\nIt is likely that while you are practicing and putting yourself into new situations, you will stumble and say the wrong thing or make the wrong hand gesture. You might even accidentally offend someone. Take these as learning experiences, rather than as failures.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Although it may seem counterintuitive, most of our communication with other people has less to do with words, and more to do with our body language and tone. Many people struggle to express their feelings and emotions clearly. But if you want to know how to be more expressive, you’re in the right place. We’ll walk you through everything you need to know about getting more in touch with the way you feel, and communicating those emotions to others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating with More Non-Verbal Expression\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use hand gestures.\", \"描述\": \"There is evidence that using hand gestures when you talk makes people more likely to listen to you. It can also help you remember what it is you are trying to say.\\nDon’t make them too big! Your hand gestures should be kept \\\"inside the box\\\". This means keeping your hands inside the area of the top of your chest and the bottom of your waist. Outside of that, and they will become distracting.\\nMake your hand gestures smooth. When you use your hands to add expression, it should appear as natural as possible. You want to avoid looking like a robot.\\nThe best way to make sure they look fluid and natural is to practice in front of the mirror.\\nIf you give a speech, you could also film yourself to see what gestures you tend to use often.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use your face to convey emotion.\", \"描述\": \"This takes a lot of practice, most of which you must do on your own. The best communicators, however, know how to use their face in order to make their point.\\nArching an eyebrow can convey that you are surprised or skeptical about something.\\nFrown when you disapprove or are concerned about something.\\nGrimace when you are worried, afraid, or in pain.\\nMost importantly, smile! If you are happy about something, pleased with an outcome, or simply happy to be in someone's company, you should smile to express this emotion. Nearly everyone enjoys a nice smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Become aware of your body language.\", \"描述\": \"This can be tricky for some. However, your body language is usually the first thing people will notice, so it is important to be aware of what you are conveying.\\nIf you want to appear more confident, assume a “power pose”. This means standing with your feet apart and your chin slightly elevated (not pointed in the air). If you are sitting in a chair, you might lean back and put your hands behind your head. This will not only make you look more confident, but it may also help you feel more confident.\\nIf you want to demonstrate agreement, mirror the expressions and postures of the person you are talking with. This doesn’t mean mimicking them completely, but rather noticing the general expressions and body language, and letting yourself slip into a similar posture.\\nTo have an open friendly posture, make sure your arms are not crossed, but relaxed at your sides with your palms open (i.e. not balled into fists). If you are sitting, uncross your legs, and keep them relaxed. Point your body in the direction of the person you are talking to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Your Voice More Expressively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Vary the volume.\", \"描述\": \"This can help keep your voice from becoming monotone. You should always speak loudly enough so that everyone who is listening can hear you, but you can vary the volume to make it more interesting. Be careful that you aren't shouting, though!\\nWhen you are telling a story you can begin quietly and raise the volume as you reach the climax of the story.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Vary the pitch.\", \"描述\": \"This is very important for being more expressive. If you raise your pitch, your voice will become slightly higher, if you lower your pitch, it will become slightly deeper. For example, when asking a question, most people tend to raise the pitch.\\nIf you want to make a positive statement, or agree with an idea, ending a statement on a slightly lower pitch is a good idea. If you want to create doubt in your listener, end in a slightly higher pitch.\\nIf you want to sound authoritative, you should maintain a slightly lower pitch.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use pauses.\", \"描述\": \"When speaking, this can be difficult. Often a pause of even a few seconds can seem like an eternity if you are a bit shy in social situations. However, using pauses creates drama and makes you appear more confident. Pausing can also give listeners a chance to absorb what you have said.\\nDon’t pause for too long! A few seconds should be sufficient.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice speaking.\", \"描述\": \"If you find that you have a hard time being expressive with your voice, then keep practicing!\\nYou can do this by practicing speeches by yourself, in front of a mirror.\\nYou could also do this in a public speaking class, or with a trusted friend or teacher. However you do it, the only way to get better is to keep trying!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Expressing Yourself Through Other Mediums\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to play an instrument\", \"描述\": \"If you are looking for hobbies that will allow you to become more expressive, consider learning an instrument. Music is often seen as a great way for expressing one’s self.\\nChoose an instrument that you feel will allow you to express yourself accurately. This simply means that you should choose an instrument that excites you. Many choose the guitar, but if the clarinet or oboe feels right for you, then try that.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write in a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping a journal is believed the be a very good way to express yourself. It can help you work out problems and work through thoughts and ideas in a way that is unique to you.\\nYou can keep your journal private, or you can share it with others if you wish.\\nYou can also keep your journal on paper or in a document on your computer.\\nTry writing down the things that happened on any given day, and writing down how these events made you feel.\\nIn your journal you can write letters to people you don’t get to see anymore, or write letters to say things you are afraid to say. Maybe you will send them, maybe you won’t.\\nWrite down dreams and ideas. Think of things you’d like to accomplish in your life and write those down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Draw, color, or paint.\", \"描述\": \"Whichever medium you choose, do it as freely as you like. You can simply pick up a color and see where your hand takes you. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your skill, it will give you an outlet where you can express feelings and emotions in a way that has meaning only for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sing.\", \"描述\": \"If you enjoy singing, then do so. You can write your own song or you can just sing songs that you enjoy. If this helps you to express things you cannot or don’t want to put into words in any other way, then embrace it!\\nIf you want to, you can do this at karaoke, or open mic nights, or you can just do it in the privacy of your own home or bedroom. The important part is not who hears it, but that you have found a way that helps you express yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write poetry.\", \"描述\": \"Writing poetry has been an ideal method of self-expression for hundreds of years. Many people use it to express complicated emotions in an eloquent way, and with practice, you can improve your skills immensely. However, if you are simply looking for a method for expressing yourself through poetry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Practice, practice, practice! Being expressive does not come easily to very many people. The more you put yourself into situations where you can practice, the easier it will get.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It is likely that while you are practicing and putting yourself into new situations, you will stumble and say the wrong thing or make the wrong hand gesture. You might even accidentally offend someone. Take these as learning experiences, rather than as failures.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,707 | How to Be Extraordinary | 1. Taking Risks
1-1. Follow what you love.
Often, we don't move forward with something because it's not what's normally done. However, taking risks is figuring out what you really want to do and taking steps to move forward with that.
For instance, maybe you've always dreamed of going back to school to study nursing. You love taking care of people, but you think you're too old to go back to school now.
Many people in your life may be saying the same thing, especially if you already have an established career. But going back to school can help you on your journey to do something you truly love. It's a risk, but it's one that pushes you forward.
1-2. Face your fears.
Everyone's afraid of something. However, sometimes your fears can hold you back. It's not necessarily the fear of spiders or snakes that is so detrimental, but rather the fears the keep you from doing something you might really love or be exceptional at.
For instance, maybe you love to write, but you're afraid to show you're writing to anyone because you're afraid they'll reject it. That's a valid fear, but it shouldn't keep you from sharing the thing you love. It can earn you respect and help you grow, and as you meet people through your creative writing, it could help you land a job you really love.
Come up with ways you can get started. You don't have to dive in--just take baby steps. For instance, you could start by showing your writing to a trusted friend or family member. You could also find an online forum for writers, where you're relatively anonymous. That way, if you start to feel uncomfortable, you can always back out.
You could also take bigger steps. Find a literary magazine to submit your writing to. Many communities have local literary journals open to submissions, and with the internet, you can find journals all across the world seeking submissions. You could also find a local open mic night where you could read what you've written to other writers. You're likely find a lot of support in your community for a growing writer.
1-3. Learn to show your flaws.
Extraordinary people make mistakes like everyone else. However, they don't hide them away like nothing ever happened. Instead, they put them out their for everyone to see so they can learn to be better next time.
This kind of vulnerability is important for you as a person because it can help you grow. However, it also helps others around you, too, as it shows them they can make a mistake and still go on to do amazing things, just like you.
It's also important to not just show your flaws but to apologize when you've made a mistake. Doing so helps you repair any damage you've done, and shows that you're humble enough to admit when you're wrong, a quality not everyone possesses.
1-4. Work hard.
To be the best at something, or even very good, you must put in the hours to learn the skill. By some estimates, you must put in as many as 10,000 hours to really become an expert at something.
To put that in perspective, you'd need to work 5 hours a day (every day) for 5 years to put in 10,000 hours.
Make sure to get help learning your skill. You can take classes, hire a tutor, check out library books, or even use online tutorials.
1-5. Be patient.
Most goals take time to achieve, and to be extraordinary, you must be in it for the long haul. That means not giving up when things get rough, but instead, sticking it out to reap your rewards.
One way to make sure you move forward is to set measurable, achievable goals. Measurable goals are ones that are specific. For instance, saying you want to learn to play the violin isn't very specific. However, breaking that down into smaller, measurable goals can help you move forward. For instance, you could make your first set of goals to find a violin to rent or buy, find a class or tutor, and learn how to hold the instrument properly. Those are goals with measurable ends.
Be sure to set time limits for your goals, too, within reason. For instance, maybe you could say you have one week to find a violin to rent or buy and another week to find a tutor. That will help you to actually follow through.
In addition, making any progress towards your goals helps get you motivated to do more.
1-6. Build up a team.
Extraordinary people rarely work alone. Instead, they have a team of extraordinary people behind them or connected to them. When trying to become extraordinary, work to find other people who support you (and who you can support in return).
One way to help build up a network of support is to join organizations focused on what you're interested in. That way, you'll meet people who have similar interests, and you can support one another.
When you've hired exceptionally good people, do all you can to keep them around. For instance, make sure you notice and praise the good work they're doing. Another way to show you value them is to listen to their ideas as well as their concerns, and actually work to change things in response.
1-7. Don't be afraid to quit.
Sometimes, one of the bravest decisions you can make is to quit something that's not working, whether it's a career, a job, or a relationship. When you've worked and worked and you still haven't seen results, it may be time to try something new.
No matter what, you should be enjoying what you're doing. That doesn't mean every moment will be pure joy. Every goal or job takes some hard work that isn't fun. However, if what you're doing day after day feels more like torture than fun, you might consider trying something else. When you find something you truly love, you won't have a hard time throwing yourself into it.
2. Living a Full Life
2-1. Pay attention to what matters most.
Like most people, you probably feel the drive to make more money, get more things, and look better. However, extraordinary people realize that these things don't matter as much as learning to focus on the things that make you truly happy.
For instance, being in a relationship with people you love and trust is important, and that doesn't have to be sexual. Friendships can be just as important as having a lifetime partner. You just need to be with people that you trust enough to be emotionally vulnerable with.
This step also means valuing experiences over things. Things just fill up your house, while experiences make you feel alive and invigorated.
2-2. Experience things rather than make excuses.
Part of what makes life enjoyable is the experiences you have, from eating a fabulous dinner to watching a sunrise to taking a painting class. When life gets busy, you're likely to find excuses not to have new experiences, as everyone does. But making sure you take the time to get out and try new things is integral to making you an extraordinary person.
Think of it this way. When you think of extraordinary people, do you think of someone who sits at home every night? No, extraordinary people have extraordinary and interesting experiences.
Start making plans. Decide you're going to try at least one new thing a week, and stick to it. Making plans with other people can help you stick to it.
Also, don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Feel like going to the beach? Take a mental health day from work and take that three hour drive down to the beach. Sure, you'll be tired at the end of the day, but you'll also feel exhilarated and more alive.
2-3. Find time for your passions.
Just like the experiences you have, your passions help make your life fuller and you a more interesting person. Following your passions helps engage your curiosity and keep your spark of life alive.
Maybe you've lost touch with your love of painting, but it used to make you happy. Try picking it up again. Join a club in your area, or find a class at your local community college.
If you're not sure what you're really passionate about, start exploring interests. Check out books from the library on hobbies and ideas that catch your attention, or start taking community college classes that catch your interest. If you hear about an event that piques your interest, go to it to see what it's about.
2-4. Revel in joyfulness.
Sometimes, when that moment of pure joy comes around, you may find yourself not giving into it. You're holding back a bit because you're afraid of when the next bad thing is going to hit. However, learning to really dig down into joyfulness can make you a more joyful person overall, and in turn, a more extraordinary person, as few people are able to live joyfully.
The next time you find yourself in a happy situation, take some time to be in the moment. Let yourself fill up with the emotion. Take in the joy on the faces of people around you. Savor the sensations of the food you're eating or the feeling of sand and water between your toes.
2-5. Learn to be grateful.
Gratitude is sometimes hard when life throws curve balls at you left and right. Nonetheless, being grateful is another way to learn how to live an extraordinary life because it helps you appreciate what you have and what's most important to you, a rare quality.
One way you can learn gratitude is to take time each day to think or write about things you are grateful for. You could write down 3 things each day in a journal that you are thankful for or even post 3 things you are grateful for on social media every day for your friends to see. You could also just take time each night to think about the things you are grateful for in your life.
Express your gratitude. When you're thankful for a person or what they've done, tell that person. Writing a note is even better, because it makes you take time to really feel that gratitude. Plus, it lets the other person know they are appreciated.
3. Connecting With Other People
3-1. Learn to be kind.
"Be kind to other people" sounds great until you have to go out into the world and do it. Being kind is sometimes the hardest road to take, when you are faced with angry people, stress, or difficult situations. However, if you want to be an extraordinary person who responds to difficult or even just every day situations in a positive way, being kind is a good step.
Do small things for other people to make them feel special. Remember people's birthdays. Send small cards in the mail. Bring someone a flower just to make them feel special.
When someone gets angry, pay them back in kindness. For instance, if someone says something mean to you at the coffee shop, pay for their coffee without asking. These little asks of kindness can surprise people, and turn a nasty moment into an opportunity for growth and gratitude.
Give unsolicited compliments. Take time to do small things, like opening doors or stopping to help someone pick up something they drop. Smile at strangers. All these little things add up.
3-2. Make relationships a priority.
When you're an extraordinary person, you find ways to lift other people up. That means engaging with the people in your life and finding ways to show that you care.
For instance, one simple way you can show you care is by truly listening when others tell you about their lives. That means making eye contact, asking follow up questions, and finding ways to follow up later on what you learned. As an example, maybe a friend has told you they are going through a rough time. You can follow up later by sending an email to ask how they are doing or even by sending a note through the mail.
It also means valuing people and the things they have to offer the world. For instance, look for the good in your spouse and tell them you're grateful for who they are and what they bring to your relationship and your life.
3-3. Understand your own needs and boundaries.
A part of connecting to others is understanding where your limitations are. It's also figuring out what your own emotional needs and boundaries are. The most extraordinary people are also usually the ones who are most self-aware.
This step is important because owning your emotional needs helps you to be mentally healthier. In turn, that helps you be more present to others.
To understand your emotional needs and boundaries, note the times when you get angry or irritable. Take a moment to think about what you got you to that place. Maybe you just need more alone time, or maybe you're feeling underappreciated.
Express those needs to the people who care about you. If you're feeling underappreciated, you could say, "Sometimes I feel like I do work and nobody notices. One of the things I need in my life is people who can show me appreciation. I try to show you appreciation when you do good work, and sometimes, I need that, too."
3-4. Volunteer your time.
Giving back to your community connects you to others who have a need or want. It puts you in touch with people you might not otherwise meet in your day-to-day life, and helps you have a richer, fuller life.
Consider the things you love, then put those passions to good use in your community. Love books? Volunteer to read with kids at a local elementary school. Got a passion for cooking? Give your time at a local soup kitchen. Have a passion for organizing? Try volunteering at a food bank.
In addition, volunteering can help you cultivate gratitude.
3-5. Surround yourself with good people.
You've probably heard the phrase "You are what you eat." Whether or not that's true, it is true that your friends influence who you are. Therefore, surrounding yourself with extraordinary, good people can help you build an extraordinary life.
Think about the qualities you think an extraordinary person would have, such as being a kind person who is authentic and able to take risks.
Next, think about the people in your social circles. Who most exhibits those qualities? When you figure that out, try spending more time with those people.
If you don't feel like you have people in your life who are extraordinary, start trying to make new friends. Strike up conversations with people at clubs you join or even people you meet in coffee shops. Most extraordinary people enjoy putting themselves out there and making connections with new people.
3-6. Be open and respectful at the office.
Of course, you don't want to spill your whole life story your first day on the job. However, the office can be a very cold environment, especially if interaction and respect are stifled. However, you can help to create a better environment just by offering respect to your co-workers and being open to relationships with them.
For instance, talk to other people in your office to see how their lives are going. Don't just wait for a perfunctory "fine." Give them space to really talk about their lives. Start by building up a relationship by asking about their family and what they like to do outside of work.
Support other people in the office by praising people when they do a good job. It's easy to tear people down. It's much harder to notice and respect the work that's being done. A simple, "You know you did a really great job on that report. You have a great eye for detail." can go a long way.
Don't put up a wall. This step is particularly important for bosses. That is, it's important to be open about what you're thinking and feeling about the company. Invite other people to offer opinions. When things go wrong, let them know that you're just as sad as they are, and work together with them to see what you can change, instead of instantly coming down hard on your workers.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Risks\\n1-1. Follow what you love.\\nOften, we don't move forward with something because it's not what's normally done. However, taking risks is figuring out what you really want to do and taking steps to move forward with that.\\nFor instance, maybe you've always dreamed of going back to school to study nursing. You love taking care of people, but you think you're too old to go back to school now.\\nMany people in your life may be saying the same thing, especially if you already have an established career. But going back to school can help you on your journey to do something you truly love. It's a risk, but it's one that pushes you forward.\\n1-2. Face your fears.\\nEveryone's afraid of something. However, sometimes your fears can hold you back. It's not necessarily the fear of spiders or snakes that is so detrimental, but rather the fears the keep you from doing something you might really love or be exceptional at.\\nFor instance, maybe you love to write, but you're afraid to show you're writing to anyone because you're afraid they'll reject it. That's a valid fear, but it shouldn't keep you from sharing the thing you love. It can earn you respect and help you grow, and as you meet people through your creative writing, it could help you land a job you really love.\\nCome up with ways you can get started. You don't have to dive in--just take baby steps. For instance, you could start by showing your writing to a trusted friend or family member. You could also find an online forum for writers, where you're relatively anonymous. That way, if you start to feel uncomfortable, you can always back out.\\nYou could also take bigger steps. Find a literary magazine to submit your writing to. Many communities have local literary journals open to submissions, and with the internet, you can find journals all across the world seeking submissions. You could also find a local open mic night where you could read what you've written to other writers. You're likely find a lot of support in your community for a growing writer.\\n1-3. Learn to show your flaws.\\nExtraordinary people make mistakes like everyone else. However, they don't hide them away like nothing ever happened. Instead, they put them out their for everyone to see so they can learn to be better next time.\\nThis kind of vulnerability is important for you as a person because it can help you grow. However, it also helps others around you, too, as it shows them they can make a mistake and still go on to do amazing things, just like you.\\nIt's also important to not just show your flaws but to apologize when you've made a mistake. Doing so helps you repair any damage you've done, and shows that you're humble enough to admit when you're wrong, a quality not everyone possesses.\\n1-4. Work hard.\\nTo be the best at something, or even very good, you must put in the hours to learn the skill. By some estimates, you must put in as many as 10,000 hours to really become an expert at something.\\nTo put that in perspective, you'd need to work 5 hours a day (every day) for 5 years to put in 10,000 hours.\\nMake sure to get help learning your skill. You can take classes, hire a tutor, check out library books, or even use online tutorials.\\n1-5. Be patient.\\nMost goals take time to achieve, and to be extraordinary, you must be in it for the long haul. That means not giving up when things get rough, but instead, sticking it out to reap your rewards.\\nOne way to make sure you move forward is to set measurable, achievable goals. Measurable goals are ones that are specific. For instance, saying you want to learn to play the violin isn't very specific. However, breaking that down into smaller, measurable goals can help you move forward. For instance, you could make your first set of goals to find a violin to rent or buy, find a class or tutor, and learn how to hold the instrument properly. Those are goals with measurable ends.\\nBe sure to set time limits for your goals, too, within reason. For instance, maybe you could say you have one week to find a violin to rent or buy and another week to find a tutor. That will help you to actually follow through.\\nIn addition, making any progress towards your goals helps get you motivated to do more.\\n1-6. Build up a team.\\nExtraordinary people rarely work alone. Instead, they have a team of extraordinary people behind them or connected to them. When trying to become extraordinary, work to find other people who support you (and who you can support in return).\\nOne way to help build up a network of support is to join organizations focused on what you're interested in. That way, you'll meet people who have similar interests, and you can support one another.\\nWhen you've hired exceptionally good people, do all you can to keep them around. For instance, make sure you notice and praise the good work they're doing. Another way to show you value them is to listen to their ideas as well as their concerns, and actually work to change things in response.\\n1-7. Don't be afraid to quit.\\nSometimes, one of the bravest decisions you can make is to quit something that's not working, whether it's a career, a job, or a relationship. When you've worked and worked and you still haven't seen results, it may be time to try something new.\\nNo matter what, you should be enjoying what you're doing. That doesn't mean every moment will be pure joy. Every goal or job takes some hard work that isn't fun. However, if what you're doing day after day feels more like torture than fun, you might consider trying something else. When you find something you truly love, you won't have a hard time throwing yourself into it.\\n2. Living a Full Life\\n2-1. Pay attention to what matters most.\\nLike most people, you probably feel the drive to make more money, get more things, and look better. However, extraordinary people realize that these things don't matter as much as learning to focus on the things that make you truly happy.\\nFor instance, being in a relationship with people you love and trust is important, and that doesn't have to be sexual. Friendships can be just as important as having a lifetime partner. You just need to be with people that you trust enough to be emotionally vulnerable with.\\nThis step also means valuing experiences over things. Things just fill up your house, while experiences make you feel alive and invigorated.\\n2-2. Experience things rather than make excuses.\\nPart of what makes life enjoyable is the experiences you have, from eating a fabulous dinner to watching a sunrise to taking a painting class. When life gets busy, you're likely to find excuses not to have new experiences, as everyone does. But making sure you take the time to get out and try new things is integral to making you an extraordinary person.\\nThink of it this way. When you think of extraordinary people, do you think of someone who sits at home every night? No, extraordinary people have extraordinary and interesting experiences.\\nStart making plans. Decide you're going to try at least one new thing a week, and stick to it. Making plans with other people can help you stick to it.\\nAlso, don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Feel like going to the beach? Take a mental health day from work and take that three hour drive down to the beach. Sure, you'll be tired at the end of the day, but you'll also feel exhilarated and more alive.\\n2-3. Find time for your passions.\\nJust like the experiences you have, your passions help make your life fuller and you a more interesting person. Following your passions helps engage your curiosity and keep your spark of life alive.\\nMaybe you've lost touch with your love of painting, but it used to make you happy. Try picking it up again. Join a club in your area, or find a class at your local community college.\\nIf you're not sure what you're really passionate about, start exploring interests. Check out books from the library on hobbies and ideas that catch your attention, or start taking community college classes that catch your interest. If you hear about an event that piques your interest, go to it to see what it's about.\\n2-4. Revel in joyfulness.\\nSometimes, when that moment of pure joy comes around, you may find yourself not giving into it. You're holding back a bit because you're afraid of when the next bad thing is going to hit. However, learning to really dig down into joyfulness can make you a more joyful person overall, and in turn, a more extraordinary person, as few people are able to live joyfully.\\nThe next time you find yourself in a happy situation, take some time to be in the moment. Let yourself fill up with the emotion. Take in the joy on the faces of people around you. Savor the sensations of the food you're eating or the feeling of sand and water between your toes.\\n2-5. Learn to be grateful.\\nGratitude is sometimes hard when life throws curve balls at you left and right. Nonetheless, being grateful is another way to learn how to live an extraordinary life because it helps you appreciate what you have and what's most important to you, a rare quality.\\nOne way you can learn gratitude is to take time each day to think or write about things you are grateful for. You could write down 3 things each day in a journal that you are thankful for or even post 3 things you are grateful for on social media every day for your friends to see. You could also just take time each night to think about the things you are grateful for in your life.\\nExpress your gratitude. When you're thankful for a person or what they've done, tell that person. Writing a note is even better, because it makes you take time to really feel that gratitude. Plus, it lets the other person know they are appreciated.\\n3. Connecting With Other People\\n3-1. Learn to be kind.\\n\\\"Be kind to other people\\\" sounds great until you have to go out into the world and do it. Being kind is sometimes the hardest road to take, when you are faced with angry people, stress, or difficult situations. However, if you want to be an extraordinary person who responds to difficult or even just every day situations in a positive way, being kind is a good step.\\nDo small things for other people to make them feel special. Remember people's birthdays. Send small cards in the mail. Bring someone a flower just to make them feel special.\\nWhen someone gets angry, pay them back in kindness. For instance, if someone says something mean to you at the coffee shop, pay for their coffee without asking. These little asks of kindness can surprise people, and turn a nasty moment into an opportunity for growth and gratitude.\\nGive unsolicited compliments. Take time to do small things, like opening doors or stopping to help someone pick up something they drop. Smile at strangers. All these little things add up.\\n3-2. Make relationships a priority.\\nWhen you're an extraordinary person, you find ways to lift other people up. That means engaging with the people in your life and finding ways to show that you care.\\nFor instance, one simple way you can show you care is by truly listening when others tell you about their lives. That means making eye contact, asking follow up questions, and finding ways to follow up later on what you learned. As an example, maybe a friend has told you they are going through a rough time. You can follow up later by sending an email to ask how they are doing or even by sending a note through the mail.\\nIt also means valuing people and the things they have to offer the world. For instance, look for the good in your spouse and tell them you're grateful for who they are and what they bring to your relationship and your life.\\n3-3. Understand your own needs and boundaries.\\nA part of connecting to others is understanding where your limitations are. It's also figuring out what your own emotional needs and boundaries are. The most extraordinary people are also usually the ones who are most self-aware.\\nThis step is important because owning your emotional needs helps you to be mentally healthier. In turn, that helps you be more present to others.\\nTo understand your emotional needs and boundaries, note the times when you get angry or irritable. Take a moment to think about what you got you to that place. Maybe you just need more alone time, or maybe you're feeling underappreciated.\\nExpress those needs to the people who care about you. If you're feeling underappreciated, you could say, \\\"Sometimes I feel like I do work and nobody notices. One of the things I need in my life is people who can show me appreciation. I try to show you appreciation when you do good work, and sometimes, I need that, too.\\\"\\n3-4. Volunteer your time.\\nGiving back to your community connects you to others who have a need or want. It puts you in touch with people you might not otherwise meet in your day-to-day life, and helps you have a richer, fuller life.\\nConsider the things you love, then put those passions to good use in your community. Love books? Volunteer to read with kids at a local elementary school. Got a passion for cooking? Give your time at a local soup kitchen. Have a passion for organizing? Try volunteering at a food bank.\\nIn addition, volunteering can help you cultivate gratitude.\\n3-5. Surround yourself with good people.\\nYou've probably heard the phrase \\\"You are what you eat.\\\" Whether or not that's true, it is true that your friends influence who you are. Therefore, surrounding yourself with extraordinary, good people can help you build an extraordinary life.\\nThink about the qualities you think an extraordinary person would have, such as being a kind person who is authentic and able to take risks.\\nNext, think about the people in your social circles. Who most exhibits those qualities? When you figure that out, try spending more time with those people.\\nIf you don't feel like you have people in your life who are extraordinary, start trying to make new friends. Strike up conversations with people at clubs you join or even people you meet in coffee shops. Most extraordinary people enjoy putting themselves out there and making connections with new people.\\n3-6. Be open and respectful at the office.\\nOf course, you don't want to spill your whole life story your first day on the job. However, the office can be a very cold environment, especially if interaction and respect are stifled. However, you can help to create a better environment just by offering respect to your co-workers and being open to relationships with them.\\nFor instance, talk to other people in your office to see how their lives are going. Don't just wait for a perfunctory \\\"fine.\\\" Give them space to really talk about their lives. Start by building up a relationship by asking about their family and what they like to do outside of work.\\nSupport other people in the office by praising people when they do a good job. It's easy to tear people down. It's much harder to notice and respect the work that's being done. A simple, \\\"You know you did a really great job on that report. You have a great eye for detail.\\\" can go a long way.\\nDon't put up a wall. This step is particularly important for bosses. That is, it's important to be open about what you're thinking and feeling about the company. Invite other people to offer opinions. When things go wrong, let them know that you're just as sad as they are, and work together with them to see what you can change, instead of instantly coming down hard on your workers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Think about the extraordinary people that you've known or admired from afar. What qualities do they have that you wish you had? Most of them live a very full life, full of interesting experiences. They also try to connect with other people with their authentic self. In addition, many extraordinary people learn to take risks to find the next big adventure.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Risks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow what you love.\", \"描述\": \"Often, we don't move forward with something because it's not what's normally done. However, taking risks is figuring out what you really want to do and taking steps to move forward with that.\\nFor instance, maybe you've always dreamed of going back to school to study nursing. You love taking care of people, but you think you're too old to go back to school now.\\nMany people in your life may be saying the same thing, especially if you already have an established career. But going back to school can help you on your journey to do something you truly love. It's a risk, but it's one that pushes you forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Face your fears.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone's afraid of something. However, sometimes your fears can hold you back. It's not necessarily the fear of spiders or snakes that is so detrimental, but rather the fears the keep you from doing something you might really love or be exceptional at.\\nFor instance, maybe you love to write, but you're afraid to show you're writing to anyone because you're afraid they'll reject it. That's a valid fear, but it shouldn't keep you from sharing the thing you love. It can earn you respect and help you grow, and as you meet people through your creative writing, it could help you land a job you really love.\\nCome up with ways you can get started. You don't have to dive in--just take baby steps. For instance, you could start by showing your writing to a trusted friend or family member. You could also find an online forum for writers, where you're relatively anonymous. That way, if you start to feel uncomfortable, you can always back out.\\nYou could also take bigger steps. Find a literary magazine to submit your writing to. Many communities have local literary journals open to submissions, and with the internet, you can find journals all across the world seeking submissions. You could also find a local open mic night where you could read what you've written to other writers. You're likely find a lot of support in your community for a growing writer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to show your flaws.\", \"描述\": \"Extraordinary people make mistakes like everyone else. However, they don't hide them away like nothing ever happened. Instead, they put them out their for everyone to see so they can learn to be better next time.\\nThis kind of vulnerability is important for you as a person because it can help you grow. However, it also helps others around you, too, as it shows them they can make a mistake and still go on to do amazing things, just like you.\\nIt's also important to not just show your flaws but to apologize when you've made a mistake. Doing so helps you repair any damage you've done, and shows that you're humble enough to admit when you're wrong, a quality not everyone possesses.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work hard.\", \"描述\": \"To be the best at something, or even very good, you must put in the hours to learn the skill. By some estimates, you must put in as many as 10,000 hours to really become an expert at something.\\nTo put that in perspective, you'd need to work 5 hours a day (every day) for 5 years to put in 10,000 hours.\\nMake sure to get help learning your skill. You can take classes, hire a tutor, check out library books, or even use online tutorials.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Most goals take time to achieve, and to be extraordinary, you must be in it for the long haul. That means not giving up when things get rough, but instead, sticking it out to reap your rewards.\\nOne way to make sure you move forward is to set measurable, achievable goals. Measurable goals are ones that are specific. For instance, saying you want to learn to play the violin isn't very specific. However, breaking that down into smaller, measurable goals can help you move forward. For instance, you could make your first set of goals to find a violin to rent or buy, find a class or tutor, and learn how to hold the instrument properly. Those are goals with measurable ends.\\nBe sure to set time limits for your goals, too, within reason. For instance, maybe you could say you have one week to find a violin to rent or buy and another week to find a tutor. That will help you to actually follow through.\\nIn addition, making any progress towards your goals helps get you motivated to do more.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Build up a team.\", \"描述\": \"Extraordinary people rarely work alone. Instead, they have a team of extraordinary people behind them or connected to them. When trying to become extraordinary, work to find other people who support you (and who you can support in return).\\nOne way to help build up a network of support is to join organizations focused on what you're interested in. That way, you'll meet people who have similar interests, and you can support one another.\\nWhen you've hired exceptionally good people, do all you can to keep them around. For instance, make sure you notice and praise the good work they're doing. Another way to show you value them is to listen to their ideas as well as their concerns, and actually work to change things in response.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to quit.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, one of the bravest decisions you can make is to quit something that's not working, whether it's a career, a job, or a relationship. When you've worked and worked and you still haven't seen results, it may be time to try something new.\\nNo matter what, you should be enjoying what you're doing. That doesn't mean every moment will be pure joy. Every goal or job takes some hard work that isn't fun. However, if what you're doing day after day feels more like torture than fun, you might consider trying something else. When you find something you truly love, you won't have a hard time throwing yourself into it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Living a Full Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to what matters most.\", \"描述\": \"Like most people, you probably feel the drive to make more money, get more things, and look better. However, extraordinary people realize that these things don't matter as much as learning to focus on the things that make you truly happy.\\nFor instance, being in a relationship with people you love and trust is important, and that doesn't have to be sexual. Friendships can be just as important as having a lifetime partner. You just need to be with people that you trust enough to be emotionally vulnerable with.\\nThis step also means valuing experiences over things. Things just fill up your house, while experiences make you feel alive and invigorated.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Experience things rather than make excuses.\", \"描述\": \"Part of what makes life enjoyable is the experiences you have, from eating a fabulous dinner to watching a sunrise to taking a painting class. When life gets busy, you're likely to find excuses not to have new experiences, as everyone does. But making sure you take the time to get out and try new things is integral to making you an extraordinary person.\\nThink of it this way. When you think of extraordinary people, do you think of someone who sits at home every night? No, extraordinary people have extraordinary and interesting experiences.\\nStart making plans. Decide you're going to try at least one new thing a week, and stick to it. Making plans with other people can help you stick to it.\\nAlso, don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Feel like going to the beach? Take a mental health day from work and take that three hour drive down to the beach. Sure, you'll be tired at the end of the day, but you'll also feel exhilarated and more alive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find time for your passions.\", \"描述\": \"Just like the experiences you have, your passions help make your life fuller and you a more interesting person. Following your passions helps engage your curiosity and keep your spark of life alive.\\nMaybe you've lost touch with your love of painting, but it used to make you happy. Try picking it up again. Join a club in your area, or find a class at your local community college.\\nIf you're not sure what you're really passionate about, start exploring interests. Check out books from the library on hobbies and ideas that catch your attention, or start taking community college classes that catch your interest. If you hear about an event that piques your interest, go to it to see what it's about.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Revel in joyfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, when that moment of pure joy comes around, you may find yourself not giving into it. You're holding back a bit because you're afraid of when the next bad thing is going to hit. However, learning to really dig down into joyfulness can make you a more joyful person overall, and in turn, a more extraordinary person, as few people are able to live joyfully.\\nThe next time you find yourself in a happy situation, take some time to be in the moment. Let yourself fill up with the emotion. Take in the joy on the faces of people around you. Savor the sensations of the food you're eating or the feeling of sand and water between your toes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to be grateful.\", \"描述\": \"Gratitude is sometimes hard when life throws curve balls at you left and right. Nonetheless, being grateful is another way to learn how to live an extraordinary life because it helps you appreciate what you have and what's most important to you, a rare quality.\\nOne way you can learn gratitude is to take time each day to think or write about things you are grateful for. You could write down 3 things each day in a journal that you are thankful for or even post 3 things you are grateful for on social media every day for your friends to see. You could also just take time each night to think about the things you are grateful for in your life.\\nExpress your gratitude. When you're thankful for a person or what they've done, tell that person. Writing a note is even better, because it makes you take time to really feel that gratitude. Plus, it lets the other person know they are appreciated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Connecting With Other People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to be kind.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Be kind to other people\\\" sounds great until you have to go out into the world and do it. Being kind is sometimes the hardest road to take, when you are faced with angry people, stress, or difficult situations. However, if you want to be an extraordinary person who responds to difficult or even just every day situations in a positive way, being kind is a good step.\\nDo small things for other people to make them feel special. Remember people's birthdays. Send small cards in the mail. Bring someone a flower just to make them feel special.\\nWhen someone gets angry, pay them back in kindness. For instance, if someone says something mean to you at the coffee shop, pay for their coffee without asking. These little asks of kindness can surprise people, and turn a nasty moment into an opportunity for growth and gratitude.\\nGive unsolicited compliments. Take time to do small things, like opening doors or stopping to help someone pick up something they drop. Smile at strangers. All these little things add up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make relationships a priority.\", \"描述\": \"When you're an extraordinary person, you find ways to lift other people up. That means engaging with the people in your life and finding ways to show that you care.\\nFor instance, one simple way you can show you care is by truly listening when others tell you about their lives. That means making eye contact, asking follow up questions, and finding ways to follow up later on what you learned. As an example, maybe a friend has told you they are going through a rough time. You can follow up later by sending an email to ask how they are doing or even by sending a note through the mail.\\nIt also means valuing people and the things they have to offer the world. For instance, look for the good in your spouse and tell them you're grateful for who they are and what they bring to your relationship and your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand your own needs and boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"A part of connecting to others is understanding where your limitations are. It's also figuring out what your own emotional needs and boundaries are. The most extraordinary people are also usually the ones who are most self-aware.\\nThis step is important because owning your emotional needs helps you to be mentally healthier. In turn, that helps you be more present to others.\\nTo understand your emotional needs and boundaries, note the times when you get angry or irritable. Take a moment to think about what you got you to that place. Maybe you just need more alone time, or maybe you're feeling underappreciated.\\nExpress those needs to the people who care about you. If you're feeling underappreciated, you could say, \\\"Sometimes I feel like I do work and nobody notices. One of the things I need in my life is people who can show me appreciation. I try to show you appreciation when you do good work, and sometimes, I need that, too.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Volunteer your time.\", \"描述\": \"Giving back to your community connects you to others who have a need or want. It puts you in touch with people you might not otherwise meet in your day-to-day life, and helps you have a richer, fuller life.\\nConsider the things you love, then put those passions to good use in your community. Love books? Volunteer to read with kids at a local elementary school. Got a passion for cooking? Give your time at a local soup kitchen. Have a passion for organizing? Try volunteering at a food bank.\\nIn addition, volunteering can help you cultivate gratitude.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with good people.\", \"描述\": \"You've probably heard the phrase \\\"You are what you eat.\\\" Whether or not that's true, it is true that your friends influence who you are. Therefore, surrounding yourself with extraordinary, good people can help you build an extraordinary life.\\nThink about the qualities you think an extraordinary person would have, such as being a kind person who is authentic and able to take risks.\\nNext, think about the people in your social circles. Who most exhibits those qualities? When you figure that out, try spending more time with those people.\\nIf you don't feel like you have people in your life who are extraordinary, start trying to make new friends. Strike up conversations with people at clubs you join or even people you meet in coffee shops. Most extraordinary people enjoy putting themselves out there and making connections with new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be open and respectful at the office.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, you don't want to spill your whole life story your first day on the job. However, the office can be a very cold environment, especially if interaction and respect are stifled. However, you can help to create a better environment just by offering respect to your co-workers and being open to relationships with them.\\nFor instance, talk to other people in your office to see how their lives are going. Don't just wait for a perfunctory \\\"fine.\\\" Give them space to really talk about their lives. Start by building up a relationship by asking about their family and what they like to do outside of work.\\nSupport other people in the office by praising people when they do a good job. It's easy to tear people down. It's much harder to notice and respect the work that's being done. A simple, \\\"You know you did a really great job on that report. You have a great eye for detail.\\\" can go a long way.\\nDon't put up a wall. This step is particularly important for bosses. That is, it's important to be open about what you're thinking and feeling about the company. Invite other people to offer opinions. When things go wrong, let them know that you're just as sad as they are, and work together with them to see what you can change, instead of instantly coming down hard on your workers.\"}]}]}}",
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3,708 | How to Be Faithful in a Marriage | 1. Steps
1-1. Agree upon trusting one another.
Once you have taken your vows, don't do anything to break that trust. You have both taken vows to be faithful in every way to one another. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these to the other, it spells trouble for the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more trust you will build as time goes on.
Your behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust, and belief in one another and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of his/her trust today, in ten years if someone accuses you of something, he/she will dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray him/her because of your history together.
On the other hand, if you do something that you should not have done, you can't expect your spouse to trust you totally. You have put doubt in his/her mind, and that has made him/her insecure. The only way to correct that is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him/her that they can trust you.
1-2. Accept the fact that you are no longer single.
No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much ensure that you will be single again - soon. Instead, keep in mind your love for your spouse and the love your spouse has for you, your commitment and your vows. Examples:
If you agree upon something do exactly that. Don't change it unless absolutely necessary, preferably due to circumstances you cannot control. If this happens, call and notify your spouse of the change immediately - don't wait till he or she is worried or angry.
Though "checking in" or reporting changes in plans may rub you the wrong way, learn that you must sacrifice some things if you are to be successful as a team – remember that this helps your spouse to keep the trust she or he has in you. Being accountable to your spouse helps keep you close, and that helps build fidelity and faith.
1-3. Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash.
It's simply a matter of honoring your commitment, and of letting your spouse know when to start worrying. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you shouldn't have married.
1-4. Wear your wedding ring
Avoid taking the ring off in most situations, even if your friends tell you to. Some exceptions are when playing sport, washing the dishes or if it could be damaged or cause you injury on the job. Do remember to put it back on straight away!
Leaving your ring on sends a clear signal to everyone else outside of your union. It reminds you that you are "taken" and most people will know better than to trespass.
If someone fails to heed the sign of your ring, show it to them close up and be sure they know it means you really are married and that you're not interested in flirting at all. If presenting your ring and clearly stating you're married and happily so doesn't work, and that person continues to pursue you, stop contact with that person at once, if possible. (If it's your brother's wife, you may have a tough time doing that, but limit contact to groups and never be alone with her. If she manages to isolate you from the rest of the family, extricate yourself quickly - kindly if possible, but rudely if necessary. In any case, be utterly clear.)
1-5. Nourish your intimacy with your spouse.
If either of you is experiencing problems with intimacy, talk it through – and the earlier, the better. Being intimate through loving gestures, hugs, kisses and sexual relations is a vital part of keeping the two of you bonded. Even daily sweet nothings whispered to one another and praise for the things you love about one another on a regular basis are guaranteed ways to keep the fires burning and the original memories of why you fell for each other truly alive.
1-6. Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any.
Doing hurtful things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. The problem is that testing your spouse's reaction to flirting or paying other people too much attention creates a climate of doubts about your honesty, and introduces anxiety and turbulence. Don't pick fights just to see what she/he'll say or do.
1-7. Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing.
If you meet with someone who tries to come on to you and maybe even who is attractive to you, don't panic. Simply show no interest and say it clearly to that person. Explain that you're very happy in your marriage and have no intention of straying. Say exactly those words. Then excuse yourself and go someplace where there are other people around. Don't allow yourself to be cornered by that person again.
Don't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. It's natural to find yourself attracted to others, even people other than your spouse. But don't allow yourself to be alone with anyone like this, and don't go out of your way to see him or her. Don't daydream or email, don't entertain the notion of being with someone else - unless it's someone like Katy Perry or Ryan Reynolds. Someone unattainable is a silly crush (still, you shouldn't obsess over a crush like this to the detriment of your marriage). Someone at work, or at a party (i.e., in the same room with you) is a to your happy marriage.
Have an escape plan. For example, consider that if a certain person who attracts you comes near you, that you'll head for the bathroom and then perhaps another group of people - or even head home.
1-8. Tell any person who tries to lure you into an entanglement with them that you're not interested, period.
Don't give a half-hearted "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married" response. This sends a wrong message - it says, "If only my stupid spouse weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up." Anyone who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if she/he thinks you're at all interested. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. Don't worry about letting him or her down easy.
People who try to encourage a person to dally with them knowing full well that the other person is married are often very unhappy people, and they don't care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: "Why isn't there someone special in their life?" Often it's because they are simply not happy to be happy. Remember that if they don't mind harming your marriage, they won't be hanging around after the thrill of being with you wears off.
1-9. Take your spouse with you.
If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid a person who keeps coming on to you, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.
1-10. Leave the situation.
It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on the interest someone has in you - and worse yet, if you have started to return those feelings, you have to leave the situation If it's work related, either request a transfer or request that the other person be transferred, because it's endangering your marriage. If it's a circle of friends, stop hanging with the friends where you keep meeting this person. Don't moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that. Remember: a few moments of pleasure are not worth discarding a lifetime of happiness with that special someone.
1-11. Stay home
Studies have shown that men who cheat start spending time away from home, such as working late at the office, going out for drinks after work, etc. Curtail this habit – bring the work home with you, schedule dial-in discussions with other workmates after hours using video conferencing on your broadband and take your spouse out to dinner instead of your colleagues.
1-12. Make plans for your future
Be sure to not only plan, but to also do the exciting and amazing things you have planned together. Having shared meaning in your lives can help your relationship grow. Go to places together that thrill and excite you, do things together that scare and awaken you and throw in unexpected treats, outings and surprises for one another here, there and everywhere.
When the children come, be sure to keep your spouse as number one priority. You can love your children absolutely without forsaking your love for your spouse. There has been a tendency in our current child-obsessed culture (partially, it's about hanging onto one's own childhood) to put the children's interests before the spousal love life. That's unbalanced and will end up exhausting everyone's limits, smothered children included. Be a loving role model for your children so that they grow up seeing parents whose love for one another and mutual respect endures throughout all the messy diapers, bossy tweens and curfew-breaking teens!
1-13. Communicate!
If you are feeling pushed away, due to lack of attention or contribution. Communicate those feelings to your spouse, you partner may even be feeling the same way.
Examples: You are doing all the housework and your spouse is not contributing. Your spouse does not seem interested in you and you feel pushed away when you try to get attention. You feel something is missing in the way your spouse is treating you. You feel like something is missing in the area of the relationship that you feel is important.
Tips
Always recall what makes you love your other half. Sweet memories tend to bond the feelings.
Remember that you love your spouse because of the little things that they do and even if someone looks better for a moment, your spouse loves you back for all the little things that you do.
If others around you talk to you about other women/men who might be of interest to you, tell them that you're really not interested in that, because you're very happy with your spouse and that he/she fulfills all your needs. This will send them a message and they'll stop trying to influence you into making a wrong choice, which could lead to your divorce. Remember: you don't want to be around people who don't take the vows of marriage seriously. It's possible that they are cheaters who can't commit and hate people who can, seeking to "bring you down" to their level.
Warnings
Suspicion and doubt in your spouse's mind will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them at all cost and avoid getting into situations that create them.
Don't forget that a good marriage takes work. If you enter a marriage with thoughts of true bliss, you definitely need to consider the facts of your "little differences", and, if they are long-term acceptable. It's really going to come down to your willingness to do TOGETHER what it may entail to keep your marriage a happy one.
Treat your spouse like you want to be treated.
Deal with things that aren't working out in your relationship before they become massive hurdles. And avoid being condescending, rude or disloyal in the thoughts and words you use when talking to and about your spouse. If you start feeling this way, seek help to work through whatever is going wrong.
Divulging a past infidelity to your spouse carries the real risk of ending your marriage. It could also cause your spouse a great deal of emotional pain, trauma, and trust issues that they might never get over, whether or not they leave you. Consider whether or not you are telling your spouse for the right reasons - if it's just to soothe any guilt you feel over the affair, that is a very bad reason. If the affair is long over and you've been faithful since it ended, but still feel guilty and think you should tell your spouse, you must decide whether or not assuaging your guilt is worth the trauma you will bring to your spouse. Sometimes the price a person pays for committing adultery against a spouse they truly love is that they must silently live with the guilt forever.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Agree upon trusting one another.\\nOnce you have taken your vows, don't do anything to break that trust. You have both taken vows to be faithful in every way to one another. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these to the other, it spells trouble for the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more trust you will build as time goes on.\\nYour behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust, and belief in one another and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of his/her trust today, in ten years if someone accuses you of something, he/she will dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray him/her because of your history together.\\nOn the other hand, if you do something that you should not have done, you can't expect your spouse to trust you totally. You have put doubt in his/her mind, and that has made him/her insecure. The only way to correct that is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him/her that they can trust you.\\n1-2. Accept the fact that you are no longer single.\\nNo, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much ensure that you will be single again - soon. Instead, keep in mind your love for your spouse and the love your spouse has for you, your commitment and your vows. Examples:\\nIf you agree upon something do exactly that. Don't change it unless absolutely necessary, preferably due to circumstances you cannot control. If this happens, call and notify your spouse of the change immediately - don't wait till he or she is worried or angry.\\nThough \\\"checking in\\\" or reporting changes in plans may rub you the wrong way, learn that you must sacrifice some things if you are to be successful as a team – remember that this helps your spouse to keep the trust she or he has in you. Being accountable to your spouse helps keep you close, and that helps build fidelity and faith.\\n1-3. Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash.\\nIt's simply a matter of honoring your commitment, and of letting your spouse know when to start worrying. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you shouldn't have married.\\n1-4. Wear your wedding ring\\nAvoid taking the ring off in most situations, even if your friends tell you to. Some exceptions are when playing sport, washing the dishes or if it could be damaged or cause you injury on the job. Do remember to put it back on straight away!\\nLeaving your ring on sends a clear signal to everyone else outside of your union. It reminds you that you are \\\"taken\\\" and most people will know better than to trespass.\\nIf someone fails to heed the sign of your ring, show it to them close up and be sure they know it means you really are married and that you're not interested in flirting at all. If presenting your ring and clearly stating you're married and happily so doesn't work, and that person continues to pursue you, stop contact with that person at once, if possible. (If it's your brother's wife, you may have a tough time doing that, but limit contact to groups and never be alone with her. If she manages to isolate you from the rest of the family, extricate yourself quickly - kindly if possible, but rudely if necessary. In any case, be utterly clear.)\\n1-5. Nourish your intimacy with your spouse.\\nIf either of you is experiencing problems with intimacy, talk it through – and the earlier, the better. Being intimate through loving gestures, hugs, kisses and sexual relations is a vital part of keeping the two of you bonded. Even daily sweet nothings whispered to one another and praise for the things you love about one another on a regular basis are guaranteed ways to keep the fires burning and the original memories of why you fell for each other truly alive.\\n1-6. Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any.\\nDoing hurtful things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. The problem is that testing your spouse's reaction to flirting or paying other people too much attention creates a climate of doubts about your honesty, and introduces anxiety and turbulence. Don't pick fights just to see what she/he'll say or do.\\n1-7. Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing.\\nIf you meet with someone who tries to come on to you and maybe even who is attractive to you, don't panic. Simply show no interest and say it clearly to that person. Explain that you're very happy in your marriage and have no intention of straying. Say exactly those words. Then excuse yourself and go someplace where there are other people around. Don't allow yourself to be cornered by that person again.\\nDon't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. It's natural to find yourself attracted to others, even people other than your spouse. But don't allow yourself to be alone with anyone like this, and don't go out of your way to see him or her. Don't daydream or email, don't entertain the notion of being with someone else - unless it's someone like Katy Perry or Ryan Reynolds. Someone unattainable is a silly crush (still, you shouldn't obsess over a crush like this to the detriment of your marriage). Someone at work, or at a party (i.e., in the same room with you) is a to your happy marriage.\\nHave an escape plan. For example, consider that if a certain person who attracts you comes near you, that you'll head for the bathroom and then perhaps another group of people - or even head home.\\n1-8. Tell any person who tries to lure you into an entanglement with them that you're not interested, period.\\nDon't give a half-hearted \\\"Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married\\\" response. This sends a wrong message - it says, \\\"If only my stupid spouse weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up.\\\" Anyone who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if she/he thinks you're at all interested. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. Don't worry about letting him or her down easy.\\nPeople who try to encourage a person to dally with them knowing full well that the other person is married are often very unhappy people, and they don't care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: \\\"Why isn't there someone special in their life?\\\" Often it's because they are simply not happy to be happy. Remember that if they don't mind harming your marriage, they won't be hanging around after the thrill of being with you wears off.\\n1-9. Take your spouse with you.\\nIf you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid a person who keeps coming on to you, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.\\n1-10. Leave the situation.\\nIt doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on the interest someone has in you - and worse yet, if you have started to return those feelings, you have to leave the situation If it's work related, either request a transfer or request that the other person be transferred, because it's endangering your marriage. If it's a circle of friends, stop hanging with the friends where you keep meeting this person. Don't moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that. Remember: a few moments of pleasure are not worth discarding a lifetime of happiness with that special someone.\\n1-11. Stay home\\nStudies have shown that men who cheat start spending time away from home, such as working late at the office, going out for drinks after work, etc. Curtail this habit – bring the work home with you, schedule dial-in discussions with other workmates after hours using video conferencing on your broadband and take your spouse out to dinner instead of your colleagues.\\n1-12. Make plans for your future\\nBe sure to not only plan, but to also do the exciting and amazing things you have planned together. Having shared meaning in your lives can help your relationship grow. Go to places together that thrill and excite you, do things together that scare and awaken you and throw in unexpected treats, outings and surprises for one another here, there and everywhere.\\nWhen the children come, be sure to keep your spouse as number one priority. You can love your children absolutely without forsaking your love for your spouse. There has been a tendency in our current child-obsessed culture (partially, it's about hanging onto one's own childhood) to put the children's interests before the spousal love life. That's unbalanced and will end up exhausting everyone's limits, smothered children included. Be a loving role model for your children so that they grow up seeing parents whose love for one another and mutual respect endures throughout all the messy diapers, bossy tweens and curfew-breaking teens!\\n1-13. Communicate!\\nIf you are feeling pushed away, due to lack of attention or contribution. Communicate those feelings to your spouse, you partner may even be feeling the same way.\\nExamples: You are doing all the housework and your spouse is not contributing. Your spouse does not seem interested in you and you feel pushed away when you try to get attention. You feel something is missing in the way your spouse is treating you. You feel like something is missing in the area of the relationship that you feel is important.\\nTips\\nAlways recall what makes you love your other half. Sweet memories tend to bond the feelings.\\nRemember that you love your spouse because of the little things that they do and even if someone looks better for a moment, your spouse loves you back for all the little things that you do.\\nIf others around you talk to you about other women/men who might be of interest to you, tell them that you're really not interested in that, because you're very happy with your spouse and that he/she fulfills all your needs. This will send them a message and they'll stop trying to influence you into making a wrong choice, which could lead to your divorce. Remember: you don't want to be around people who don't take the vows of marriage seriously. It's possible that they are cheaters who can't commit and hate people who can, seeking to \\\"bring you down\\\" to their level.\\nWarnings\\nSuspicion and doubt in your spouse's mind will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them at all cost and avoid getting into situations that create them.\\nDon't forget that a good marriage takes work. If you enter a marriage with thoughts of true bliss, you definitely need to consider the facts of your \\\"little differences\\\", and, if they are long-term acceptable. It's really going to come down to your willingness to do TOGETHER what it may entail to keep your marriage a happy one.\\nTreat your spouse like you want to be treated.\\nDeal with things that aren't working out in your relationship before they become massive hurdles. And avoid being condescending, rude or disloyal in the thoughts and words you use when talking to and about your spouse. If you start feeling this way, seek help to work through whatever is going wrong.\\nDivulging a past infidelity to your spouse carries the real risk of ending your marriage. It could also cause your spouse a great deal of emotional pain, trauma, and trust issues that they might never get over, whether or not they leave you. Consider whether or not you are telling your spouse for the right reasons - if it's just to soothe any guilt you feel over the affair, that is a very bad reason. If the affair is long over and you've been faithful since it ended, but still feel guilty and think you should tell your spouse, you must decide whether or not assuaging your guilt is worth the trauma you will bring to your spouse. Sometimes the price a person pays for committing adultery against a spouse they truly love is that they must silently live with the guilt forever.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment of your life. But statistics show that in the US, almost half of all marriages end in divorce, and one of the leading causes is marital infidelity. Whether you're married or a partner in a committed relationship, being faithful isn't always easy - but if you commit to being a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Agree upon trusting one another.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have taken your vows, don't do anything to break that trust. You have both taken vows to be faithful in every way to one another. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these to the other, it spells trouble for the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more trust you will build as time goes on.\\nYour behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust, and belief in one another and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of his/her trust today, in ten years if someone accuses you of something, he/she will dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray him/her because of your history together.\\nOn the other hand, if you do something that you should not have done, you can't expect your spouse to trust you totally. You have put doubt in his/her mind, and that has made him/her insecure. The only way to correct that is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him/her that they can trust you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept the fact that you are no longer single.\", \"描述\": \"No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much ensure that you will be single again - soon. Instead, keep in mind your love for your spouse and the love your spouse has for you, your commitment and your vows. Examples:\\nIf you agree upon something do exactly that. Don't change it unless absolutely necessary, preferably due to circumstances you cannot control. If this happens, call and notify your spouse of the change immediately - don't wait till he or she is worried or angry.\\nThough \\\"checking in\\\" or reporting changes in plans may rub you the wrong way, learn that you must sacrifice some things if you are to be successful as a team – remember that this helps your spouse to keep the trust she or he has in you. Being accountable to your spouse helps keep you close, and that helps build fidelity and faith.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash.\", \"描述\": \"It's simply a matter of honoring your commitment, and of letting your spouse know when to start worrying. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you shouldn't have married.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear your wedding ring\", \"描述\": \"Avoid taking the ring off in most situations, even if your friends tell you to. Some exceptions are when playing sport, washing the dishes or if it could be damaged or cause you injury on the job. Do remember to put it back on straight away!\\nLeaving your ring on sends a clear signal to everyone else outside of your union. It reminds you that you are \\\"taken\\\" and most people will know better than to trespass.\\nIf someone fails to heed the sign of your ring, show it to them close up and be sure they know it means you really are married and that you're not interested in flirting at all. If presenting your ring and clearly stating you're married and happily so doesn't work, and that person continues to pursue you, stop contact with that person at once, if possible. (If it's your brother's wife, you may have a tough time doing that, but limit contact to groups and never be alone with her. If she manages to isolate you from the rest of the family, extricate yourself quickly - kindly if possible, but rudely if necessary. In any case, be utterly clear.)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Nourish your intimacy with your spouse.\", \"描述\": \"If either of you is experiencing problems with intimacy, talk it through – and the earlier, the better. Being intimate through loving gestures, hugs, kisses and sexual relations is a vital part of keeping the two of you bonded. Even daily sweet nothings whispered to one another and praise for the things you love about one another on a regular basis are guaranteed ways to keep the fires burning and the original memories of why you fell for each other truly alive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any.\", \"描述\": \"Doing hurtful things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. The problem is that testing your spouse's reaction to flirting or paying other people too much attention creates a climate of doubts about your honesty, and introduces anxiety and turbulence. Don't pick fights just to see what she/he'll say or do.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing.\", \"描述\": \"If you meet with someone who tries to come on to you and maybe even who is attractive to you, don't panic. Simply show no interest and say it clearly to that person. Explain that you're very happy in your marriage and have no intention of straying. Say exactly those words. Then excuse yourself and go someplace where there are other people around. Don't allow yourself to be cornered by that person again.\\nDon't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. It's natural to find yourself attracted to others, even people other than your spouse. But don't allow yourself to be alone with anyone like this, and don't go out of your way to see him or her. Don't daydream or email, don't entertain the notion of being with someone else - unless it's someone like Katy Perry or Ryan Reynolds. Someone unattainable is a silly crush (still, you shouldn't obsess over a crush like this to the detriment of your marriage). Someone at work, or at a party (i.e., in the same room with you) is a to your happy marriage.\\nHave an escape plan. For example, consider that if a certain person who attracts you comes near you, that you'll head for the bathroom and then perhaps another group of people - or even head home.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tell any person who tries to lure you into an entanglement with them that you're not interested, period.\", \"描述\": \"Don't give a half-hearted \\\"Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married\\\" response. This sends a wrong message - it says, \\\"If only my stupid spouse weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up.\\\" Anyone who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if she/he thinks you're at all interested. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. Don't worry about letting him or her down easy.\\nPeople who try to encourage a person to dally with them knowing full well that the other person is married are often very unhappy people, and they don't care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: \\\"Why isn't there someone special in their life?\\\" Often it's because they are simply not happy to be happy. Remember that if they don't mind harming your marriage, they won't be hanging around after the thrill of being with you wears off.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Take your spouse with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid a person who keeps coming on to you, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Leave the situation.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on the interest someone has in you - and worse yet, if you have started to return those feelings, you have to leave the situation If it's work related, either request a transfer or request that the other person be transferred, because it's endangering your marriage. If it's a circle of friends, stop hanging with the friends where you keep meeting this person. Don't moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that. Remember: a few moments of pleasure are not worth discarding a lifetime of happiness with that special someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Stay home\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that men who cheat start spending time away from home, such as working late at the office, going out for drinks after work, etc. Curtail this habit – bring the work home with you, schedule dial-in discussions with other workmates after hours using video conferencing on your broadband and take your spouse out to dinner instead of your colleagues.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Make plans for your future\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to not only plan, but to also do the exciting and amazing things you have planned together. Having shared meaning in your lives can help your relationship grow. Go to places together that thrill and excite you, do things together that scare and awaken you and throw in unexpected treats, outings and surprises for one another here, there and everywhere.\\nWhen the children come, be sure to keep your spouse as number one priority. You can love your children absolutely without forsaking your love for your spouse. There has been a tendency in our current child-obsessed culture (partially, it's about hanging onto one's own childhood) to put the children's interests before the spousal love life. That's unbalanced and will end up exhausting everyone's limits, smothered children included. Be a loving role model for your children so that they grow up seeing parents whose love for one another and mutual respect endures throughout all the messy diapers, bossy tweens and curfew-breaking teens!\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Communicate!\", \"描述\": \"If you are feeling pushed away, due to lack of attention or contribution. Communicate those feelings to your spouse, you partner may even be feeling the same way.\\nExamples: You are doing all the housework and your spouse is not contributing. Your spouse does not seem interested in you and you feel pushed away when you try to get attention. You feel something is missing in the way your spouse is treating you. You feel like something is missing in the area of the relationship that you feel is important.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always recall what makes you love your other half. Sweet memories tend to bond the feelings.\\n\", \"Remember that you love your spouse because of the little things that they do and even if someone looks better for a moment, your spouse loves you back for all the little things that you do.\\n\", \"If others around you talk to you about other women/men who might be of interest to you, tell them that you're really not interested in that, because you're very happy with your spouse and that he/she fulfills all your needs. This will send them a message and they'll stop trying to influence you into making a wrong choice, which could lead to your divorce. Remember: you don't want to be around people who don't take the vows of marriage seriously. It's possible that they are cheaters who can't commit and hate people who can, seeking to \\\"bring you down\\\" to their level.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Suspicion and doubt in your spouse's mind will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them at all cost and avoid getting into situations that create them.\\n\", \"Don't forget that a good marriage takes work. If you enter a marriage with thoughts of true bliss, you definitely need to consider the facts of your \\\"little differences\\\", and, if they are long-term acceptable. It's really going to come down to your willingness to do TOGETHER what it may entail to keep your marriage a happy one.\\n\", \"Treat your spouse like you want to be treated.\\n\", \"Deal with things that aren't working out in your relationship before they become massive hurdles. And avoid being condescending, rude or disloyal in the thoughts and words you use when talking to and about your spouse. If you start feeling this way, seek help to work through whatever is going wrong.\\n\", \"Divulging a past infidelity to your spouse carries the real risk of ending your marriage. It could also cause your spouse a great deal of emotional pain, trauma, and trust issues that they might never get over, whether or not they leave you. Consider whether or not you are telling your spouse for the right reasons - if it's just to soothe any guilt you feel over the affair, that is a very bad reason. If the affair is long over and you've been faithful since it ended, but still feel guilty and think you should tell your spouse, you must decide whether or not assuaging your guilt is worth the trauma you will bring to your spouse. Sometimes the price a person pays for committing adultery against a spouse they truly love is that they must silently live with the guilt forever.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,709 | How to Be Famous on the Internet Without Your Parents Knowing | 1. Developing Your Online Identity
1-1. Construct an online persona.
If you're looking to become famous on the internet, and keep it a secret from your parents, you'll need to build an online persona. Try to create a persona that feels "real." Make sure that it's fun and involved with what you want to talk about, but will also protect your identity. How easy this will be depends on the type of content you want to make.
If you want to write a blog, for example, you can easily do this with a pen name. Be careful not to write about or refer to people you know, or you could reveal your identity.
If you want to vlog, it’ll a bit harder to hide your identity. You could disguise your voice, and not put your face on camera.
Understand that linking an online persona to your normal social media accounts will instantly give you away.
1-2. Choose your niche area.
You might find it easier to gain online fame if you focus your efforts in a particular niche area. If you have specialist knowledge or interests, and there's a thriving online community for them, you could concentrate on that. For example, if you're interested in fan fiction and like to write, you could promote your work on relevant forums and websites.
Don’t try to talk about something you think might be popular, but you are not particularly interested in or knowledgeable about.
You'll be more convincing and interesting if you're talking about something you're passionate about.
1-3. Have brand consistency.
However and wherever you choose to promote yourself, you should try to keep your persona consistent everywhere online. This kind of brand consistency will help you to create a strong identity that is recognisable and familiar. This could include:
Using the same name across all your accounts.
Using the same font or logo for your chosen name.
Concentrating your content on a specific theme.
2. Becoming Internet Famous
2-1. Use multiple platforms.
An important part of building a strong online presence, is using lots of different online platforms to get your message across. Think about how you can connect together all the many strands of online communication. Here it is important that you have a consistent name and identity.
For example, if you upload a new video to youtube, send a tweet with a link to promote it.
Different people will prefer different platforms, so only using some is limiting your potential audience.
If you're trying to get famous online without your parents knowing, you should think carefully about how you use social media.
Your parents might not follow you on twitter, or be on facebook, but some of their friends might.
2-2. Be patient and persistent.
Overnight sensations and viral videos are very rare. If you want to build a fan-base online, you need to be prepared to be patient and persistent. Keep producing new content and see how much attention it gets. Try to aim for steady growth in followers and subscriptions, rather than one giant leap.
Avoid the temptation to start posting things you think might attract immediate followers. Instead, be thoughtful and purposeful in what you say and do.
If you grow your followers slowly it'll be easier to manage your profile and interact with your fans.
Gaining fans slowly can mean that the fans are more interested and more loyal.
Fans that stick with you for the longer-term are likely to be the ones with a stronger interest in your content.
For example, if you post lots of pictures of your knitting, your most loyal followers are likely to be fellow knitting enthusiasts.
2-3. Interact with the community.
Interaction is great for building and maintaining a strong presence and online community. Social media gives people the opportunity to immediately talk to people from all over the world, so try to speak directly to your fans.
Retweet and reply to comments from some followers to demonstrate that you are in a conversation with them.
Ask questions that engage your followers while also promoting yourself.
For example, you could ask “what did you have for lunch today?” and post a picture of your lunch.
Don’t retweet every response, but take the time to engage with your audience.
3. Staying Safe
3-1. Don’t post personal information.
Exposing yourself to a lot of attention on the internet can lead to problems, so be aware of the risks before you get going. Even if you're trying to use an online profile or avatar that obscures your true identity, you should still be sure never to post any personal information.
Don’t post your address, phone number, or anything like a social security number.
This might seem obvious, but make sure you don’t get flattered by a lot of attention and let your guard down.
3-2. Recognise that you are never truly anonymous.
If you are trying to get famous online, you might be tempted to say or write some things that you think will get you attention and maybe lead to fame. Whatever precautions you take to protect your identity and personal information, bear in mind that it's perhaps impossible to be truly anonymous online.
Don’t say something online that you wouldn’t say in face-to-face communications.
Don’t send photos of yourself to someone.
Make sure you use all the privacy settings on social media, and don’t respond to anybody who asks for personal information.
3-3. Beware of trolls.
The more attention and followers you have online, the greater the chance that unpleasant people will send you mean and insulting messages. This is an unhappy fact of online communication, so you should be aware that you might receive abusive messages from people. Don’t respond to any abusive messages, and delete them.
If you are a victim of cyberbullying, it is often better to try to ignore the messages. Bullies are often looking for a reaction.
Not everyone on the internet is who they claim to be. Be wary and cautious about who you interact with.
If someone is sending you a lot of messages and making you uncomfortable, talk to your parents about it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Your Online Identity\\n1-1. Construct an online persona.\\nIf you're looking to become famous on the internet, and keep it a secret from your parents, you'll need to build an online persona. Try to create a persona that feels \\\"real.\\\" Make sure that it's fun and involved with what you want to talk about, but will also protect your identity. How easy this will be depends on the type of content you want to make.\\nIf you want to write a blog, for example, you can easily do this with a pen name. Be careful not to write about or refer to people you know, or you could reveal your identity.\\nIf you want to vlog, it’ll a bit harder to hide your identity. You could disguise your voice, and not put your face on camera.\\nUnderstand that linking an online persona to your normal social media accounts will instantly give you away.\\n1-2. Choose your niche area.\\nYou might find it easier to gain online fame if you focus your efforts in a particular niche area. If you have specialist knowledge or interests, and there's a thriving online community for them, you could concentrate on that. For example, if you're interested in fan fiction and like to write, you could promote your work on relevant forums and websites.\\nDon’t try to talk about something you think might be popular, but you are not particularly interested in or knowledgeable about.\\nYou'll be more convincing and interesting if you're talking about something you're passionate about.\\n1-3. Have brand consistency.\\nHowever and wherever you choose to promote yourself, you should try to keep your persona consistent everywhere online. This kind of brand consistency will help you to create a strong identity that is recognisable and familiar. This could include:\\nUsing the same name across all your accounts.\\nUsing the same font or logo for your chosen name.\\nConcentrating your content on a specific theme.\\n2. Becoming Internet Famous\\n2-1. Use multiple platforms.\\nAn important part of building a strong online presence, is using lots of different online platforms to get your message across. Think about how you can connect together all the many strands of online communication. Here it is important that you have a consistent name and identity.\\nFor example, if you upload a new video to youtube, send a tweet with a link to promote it.\\nDifferent people will prefer different platforms, so only using some is limiting your potential audience.\\nIf you're trying to get famous online without your parents knowing, you should think carefully about how you use social media.\\nYour parents might not follow you on twitter, or be on facebook, but some of their friends might.\\n2-2. Be patient and persistent.\\nOvernight sensations and viral videos are very rare. If you want to build a fan-base online, you need to be prepared to be patient and persistent. Keep producing new content and see how much attention it gets. Try to aim for steady growth in followers and subscriptions, rather than one giant leap.\\nAvoid the temptation to start posting things you think might attract immediate followers. Instead, be thoughtful and purposeful in what you say and do.\\nIf you grow your followers slowly it'll be easier to manage your profile and interact with your fans.\\nGaining fans slowly can mean that the fans are more interested and more loyal.\\nFans that stick with you for the longer-term are likely to be the ones with a stronger interest in your content.\\nFor example, if you post lots of pictures of your knitting, your most loyal followers are likely to be fellow knitting enthusiasts.\\n2-3. Interact with the community.\\nInteraction is great for building and maintaining a strong presence and online community. Social media gives people the opportunity to immediately talk to people from all over the world, so try to speak directly to your fans.\\nRetweet and reply to comments from some followers to demonstrate that you are in a conversation with them.\\nAsk questions that engage your followers while also promoting yourself.\\nFor example, you could ask “what did you have for lunch today?” and post a picture of your lunch.\\nDon’t retweet every response, but take the time to engage with your audience.\\n3. Staying Safe\\n3-1. Don’t post personal information.\\nExposing yourself to a lot of attention on the internet can lead to problems, so be aware of the risks before you get going. Even if you're trying to use an online profile or avatar that obscures your true identity, you should still be sure never to post any personal information.\\nDon’t post your address, phone number, or anything like a social security number.\\nThis might seem obvious, but make sure you don’t get flattered by a lot of attention and let your guard down.\\n3-2. Recognise that you are never truly anonymous.\\nIf you are trying to get famous online, you might be tempted to say or write some things that you think will get you attention and maybe lead to fame. Whatever precautions you take to protect your identity and personal information, bear in mind that it's perhaps impossible to be truly anonymous online.\\nDon’t say something online that you wouldn’t say in face-to-face communications.\\nDon’t send photos of yourself to someone.\\nMake sure you use all the privacy settings on social media, and don’t respond to anybody who asks for personal information.\\n3-3. Beware of trolls.\\nThe more attention and followers you have online, the greater the chance that unpleasant people will send you mean and insulting messages. This is an unhappy fact of online communication, so you should be aware that you might receive abusive messages from people. Don’t respond to any abusive messages, and delete them.\\nIf you are a victim of cyberbullying, it is often better to try to ignore the messages. Bullies are often looking for a reaction.\\nNot everyone on the internet is who they claim to be. Be wary and cautious about who you interact with.\\nIf someone is sending you a lot of messages and making you uncomfortable, talk to your parents about it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The internet has made it easier than ever for people to put themselves into the public eye and even become famous. Viral videos, tweets and images can make somebody famous very quickly indeed. If you want to be famous, but don’t want your parents to know, you can create an alternative online persona. Remember, however, that it’s important to stay safe on the internet and understand that there is no guarantee that all the attention you receive is going to be friendly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Online Identity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Construct an online persona.\", \"描述\": \"If you're looking to become famous on the internet, and keep it a secret from your parents, you'll need to build an online persona. Try to create a persona that feels \\\"real.\\\" Make sure that it's fun and involved with what you want to talk about, but will also protect your identity. How easy this will be depends on the type of content you want to make.\\nIf you want to write a blog, for example, you can easily do this with a pen name. Be careful not to write about or refer to people you know, or you could reveal your identity.\\nIf you want to vlog, it’ll a bit harder to hide your identity. You could disguise your voice, and not put your face on camera.\\nUnderstand that linking an online persona to your normal social media accounts will instantly give you away.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your niche area.\", \"描述\": \"You might find it easier to gain online fame if you focus your efforts in a particular niche area. If you have specialist knowledge or interests, and there's a thriving online community for them, you could concentrate on that. For example, if you're interested in fan fiction and like to write, you could promote your work on relevant forums and websites.\\nDon’t try to talk about something you think might be popular, but you are not particularly interested in or knowledgeable about.\\nYou'll be more convincing and interesting if you're talking about something you're passionate about.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have brand consistency.\", \"描述\": \"However and wherever you choose to promote yourself, you should try to keep your persona consistent everywhere online. This kind of brand consistency will help you to create a strong identity that is recognisable and familiar. This could include:\\nUsing the same name across all your accounts.\\nUsing the same font or logo for your chosen name.\\nConcentrating your content on a specific theme.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Internet Famous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use multiple platforms.\", \"描述\": \"An important part of building a strong online presence, is using lots of different online platforms to get your message across. Think about how you can connect together all the many strands of online communication. Here it is important that you have a consistent name and identity.\\nFor example, if you upload a new video to youtube, send a tweet with a link to promote it.\\nDifferent people will prefer different platforms, so only using some is limiting your potential audience.\\nIf you're trying to get famous online without your parents knowing, you should think carefully about how you use social media.\\nYour parents might not follow you on twitter, or be on facebook, but some of their friends might.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be patient and persistent.\", \"描述\": \"Overnight sensations and viral videos are very rare. If you want to build a fan-base online, you need to be prepared to be patient and persistent. Keep producing new content and see how much attention it gets. Try to aim for steady growth in followers and subscriptions, rather than one giant leap.\\nAvoid the temptation to start posting things you think might attract immediate followers. Instead, be thoughtful and purposeful in what you say and do.\\nIf you grow your followers slowly it'll be easier to manage your profile and interact with your fans.\\nGaining fans slowly can mean that the fans are more interested and more loyal.\\nFans that stick with you for the longer-term are likely to be the ones with a stronger interest in your content.\\nFor example, if you post lots of pictures of your knitting, your most loyal followers are likely to be fellow knitting enthusiasts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interact with the community.\", \"描述\": \"Interaction is great for building and maintaining a strong presence and online community. Social media gives people the opportunity to immediately talk to people from all over the world, so try to speak directly to your fans.\\nRetweet and reply to comments from some followers to demonstrate that you are in a conversation with them.\\nAsk questions that engage your followers while also promoting yourself.\\nFor example, you could ask “what did you have for lunch today?” and post a picture of your lunch.\\nDon’t retweet every response, but take the time to engage with your audience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t post personal information.\", \"描述\": \"Exposing yourself to a lot of attention on the internet can lead to problems, so be aware of the risks before you get going. Even if you're trying to use an online profile or avatar that obscures your true identity, you should still be sure never to post any personal information.\\nDon’t post your address, phone number, or anything like a social security number.\\nThis might seem obvious, but make sure you don’t get flattered by a lot of attention and let your guard down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognise that you are never truly anonymous.\", \"描述\": \"If you are trying to get famous online, you might be tempted to say or write some things that you think will get you attention and maybe lead to fame. Whatever precautions you take to protect your identity and personal information, bear in mind that it's perhaps impossible to be truly anonymous online.\\nDon’t say something online that you wouldn’t say in face-to-face communications.\\nDon’t send photos of yourself to someone.\\nMake sure you use all the privacy settings on social media, and don’t respond to anybody who asks for personal information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Beware of trolls.\", \"描述\": \"The more attention and followers you have online, the greater the chance that unpleasant people will send you mean and insulting messages. This is an unhappy fact of online communication, so you should be aware that you might receive abusive messages from people. Don’t respond to any abusive messages, and delete them.\\nIf you are a victim of cyberbullying, it is often better to try to ignore the messages. Bullies are often looking for a reaction.\\nNot everyone on the internet is who they claim to be. Be wary and cautious about who you interact with.\\nIf someone is sending you a lot of messages and making you uncomfortable, talk to your parents about it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,710 | How to Be Fashionable at a Pool Party | 1. Go with swimwear that makes you feel confident.
Pick a comfortable suit that fits well if you plan to swim.
You certainly don’t have to swim at a pool party, but if you think you will, go with a suit that stays in place and fits well. Cute two-pieces, like tankinis, and stylish one-pieces are great options! How much skin you show is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable in.
If this is a work-related pool party, a string bikini probably isn't a great choice. Go with something a bit more modest.
For guys, the most fashionable and flattering look is a slightly fitted pair of trunks that falls between your mid-thigh and knee.
The key to feeling confident is wearing something that's authentically you. If you feel comfortable rocking a two-piece then go for it, but if you don't, that's okay, too.
2. Bring a cute cover up that complements your suit.
Go with a light, transparent fabric to show off your suit underneath.
A white see-through caftan or a mesh cover up are stylish options that are both functional and fun. Keep in mind you don’t have to buy anything new! Kimonos and sarongs make stylish cover-ups, as well.
A long kimono or wrap can be open in the front if you're comfortable with that, while still providing a little coverage on the sides and backside.
3. Go vintage with high-waisted shorts and a crop top.
Stay cool in this outfit if you’re not planning on swimming.
If you’re not wearing a swimsuit to the party but still want to show a little skin, a midriff baring crop top paired with high-waisted shorts looks elegant and timeless. Skip the denim and go with elastic-waisted shorts in a fun print, like bright flowers.
4. Rock denim cutoffs for a cool, classic look.
Denim shorts never go out of style and they’re easy to wear at the pool.
Put on your swimsuit, slide on some denim shorts, and you’re off! You can skip a shirt altogether or go with a loose white T-shirt that allows your cute swimsuit to peek through a little.
5. Try a comfy two-piece outfit for a resort vibe.
Pick an outfit with a matching top and bottom for a polished look.
Try a short-sleeve button-down top and tie it at the bottom to show off your mid-riff. Pretty prints and plaids can be fun for pool-side, so go with bottoms that match the print or color of your top for a luxe resort look.
6. Turn up the glam in a summer dress.
Dresses are lightweight, breathable, and fashionable.
Plus, if you’re hitting a restaurant after the pool, you won’t have to change your clothes! Choose something colorful or rock a bold print in a lightweight, natural fabric like cotton or linen.
A short, flirty summer dress with spaghetti straps is a classic option if you want to show some skin.
Long, flowing dresses and skirts are also great choices! Go with loose, lightweight material so you’ll be comfortable.
A maxi dress can highlight your bikini top if you’re wearing a suit. Try pairing it with sandal wedges to feel confident and stylish.
7. Slip on a pair of flip flops or sandals.
These styles are both cute and practical for the pool.
You don’t want to wear expensive footwear to a pool party since your shoes could definitely get wet! Go with a cute pair of flat, open-toed shoes, like sandals or flip flops, that complement your outfit and are easy to slip on and off.
Avoid high wedges and heels since those can look a little formal at the pool.
For guys, go with low top or slip-on sneakers, boat shoes, or casual loafers.
8. Pack your necessities in a colorful tote.
Pick a bag that coordinates with your outfit or swimsuit.
It’s so easy to throw everything you need into a casual tote and head to the pool, and you won’t have to worry about your belongings getting wet or damaged. Your tote doesn’t have to match your outfit perfectly, but pick something that complements your outfit’s style.
Straw totes are great for a carefree, boho vibe.
A canvas tote in a bold print is another classic option.
Look for a bag with hidden pockets to hide or protect items like tampons, valuables, and your phone.
9. Accessorize with fun, casual jewelry.
Stick with bangles, beaded necklaces, and simple stud earrings.
Just because it’s pool party doesn’t mean you can’t wear jewelry! Beaded or woven necklaces and bracelets are great options that you can safely get wet. Stacked plastic bangles in a variety of colors can make a fun statement, too.
Avoid wearing your nicest and most valuable pieces since they could easily be damaged or lost by the pool.
10. Complete your look with statement sunglasses.
Oversized and cat-eye sunglasses look glam and protect your eyes.
Select a bright pair of frames for a fun, summery vibe. It’s always a fashion plus if your sunglasses match your outfit or swimsuit!
For example, go with a pair that matches your swimsuit's color or try bold, geometric frames that complement the suit's pattern.
11. Choose a simple, no-fuss hairstyle.
Buns, topknots, and loose braids are cute, low maintenance styles.
You’ll be outside all day, so go with a no-fuss hairstyle that can withstand the elements. Braids, buns, and ponytails are excellent choices that hold up to a day of sun, wind, and water. Plus, at the end of the day, you can take your hair down and rock loose, beachy waves for the evening.
12. Stick with natural-looking makeup.
A light coverage foundation with SPF is perfect for the pool.
Heavy, full coverage foundation and concealer will be uncomfortable and won’t hold up in the sun all long. Subtle, natural-looking makeup is the way to go! Blend a dab of rosy cream blush into the apples of your cheeks and add a coat of waterproof mascara for a natural look that lasts all day.
Bring along makeup wipes or blotting papers for cleanups during the day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Go with swimwear that makes you feel confident.\\nPick a comfortable suit that fits well if you plan to swim.\\nYou certainly don’t have to swim at a pool party, but if you think you will, go with a suit that stays in place and fits well. Cute two-pieces, like tankinis, and stylish one-pieces are great options! How much skin you show is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable in.\\nIf this is a work-related pool party, a string bikini probably isn't a great choice. Go with something a bit more modest.\\nFor guys, the most fashionable and flattering look is a slightly fitted pair of trunks that falls between your mid-thigh and knee.\\nThe key to feeling confident is wearing something that's authentically you. If you feel comfortable rocking a two-piece then go for it, but if you don't, that's okay, too.\\n2. Bring a cute cover up that complements your suit.\\nGo with a light, transparent fabric to show off your suit underneath.\\nA white see-through caftan or a mesh cover up are stylish options that are both functional and fun. Keep in mind you don’t have to buy anything new! Kimonos and sarongs make stylish cover-ups, as well.\\nA long kimono or wrap can be open in the front if you're comfortable with that, while still providing a little coverage on the sides and backside.\\n3. Go vintage with high-waisted shorts and a crop top.\\nStay cool in this outfit if you’re not planning on swimming.\\nIf you’re not wearing a swimsuit to the party but still want to show a little skin, a midriff baring crop top paired with high-waisted shorts looks elegant and timeless. Skip the denim and go with elastic-waisted shorts in a fun print, like bright flowers.\\n4. Rock denim cutoffs for a cool, classic look.\\nDenim shorts never go out of style and they’re easy to wear at the pool.\\nPut on your swimsuit, slide on some denim shorts, and you’re off! You can skip a shirt altogether or go with a loose white T-shirt that allows your cute swimsuit to peek through a little.\\n5. Try a comfy two-piece outfit for a resort vibe.\\nPick an outfit with a matching top and bottom for a polished look.\\nTry a short-sleeve button-down top and tie it at the bottom to show off your mid-riff. Pretty prints and plaids can be fun for pool-side, so go with bottoms that match the print or color of your top for a luxe resort look.\\n6. Turn up the glam in a summer dress.\\nDresses are lightweight, breathable, and fashionable.\\nPlus, if you’re hitting a restaurant after the pool, you won’t have to change your clothes! Choose something colorful or rock a bold print in a lightweight, natural fabric like cotton or linen.\\nA short, flirty summer dress with spaghetti straps is a classic option if you want to show some skin.\\nLong, flowing dresses and skirts are also great choices! Go with loose, lightweight material so you’ll be comfortable.\\nA maxi dress can highlight your bikini top if you’re wearing a suit. Try pairing it with sandal wedges to feel confident and stylish.\\n7. Slip on a pair of flip flops or sandals.\\nThese styles are both cute and practical for the pool.\\nYou don’t want to wear expensive footwear to a pool party since your shoes could definitely get wet! Go with a cute pair of flat, open-toed shoes, like sandals or flip flops, that complement your outfit and are easy to slip on and off.\\nAvoid high wedges and heels since those can look a little formal at the pool.\\nFor guys, go with low top or slip-on sneakers, boat shoes, or casual loafers.\\n8. Pack your necessities in a colorful tote.\\nPick a bag that coordinates with your outfit or swimsuit.\\nIt’s so easy to throw everything you need into a casual tote and head to the pool, and you won’t have to worry about your belongings getting wet or damaged. Your tote doesn’t have to match your outfit perfectly, but pick something that complements your outfit’s style.\\nStraw totes are great for a carefree, boho vibe.\\nA canvas tote in a bold print is another classic option.\\nLook for a bag with hidden pockets to hide or protect items like tampons, valuables, and your phone.\\n9. Accessorize with fun, casual jewelry.\\nStick with bangles, beaded necklaces, and simple stud earrings.\\nJust because it’s pool party doesn’t mean you can’t wear jewelry! Beaded or woven necklaces and bracelets are great options that you can safely get wet. Stacked plastic bangles in a variety of colors can make a fun statement, too.\\nAvoid wearing your nicest and most valuable pieces since they could easily be damaged or lost by the pool.\\n10. Complete your look with statement sunglasses.\\nOversized and cat-eye sunglasses look glam and protect your eyes.\\nSelect a bright pair of frames for a fun, summery vibe. It’s always a fashion plus if your sunglasses match your outfit or swimsuit!\\nFor example, go with a pair that matches your swimsuit's color or try bold, geometric frames that complement the suit's pattern.\\n11. Choose a simple, no-fuss hairstyle.\\nBuns, topknots, and loose braids are cute, low maintenance styles.\\nYou’ll be outside all day, so go with a no-fuss hairstyle that can withstand the elements. Braids, buns, and ponytails are excellent choices that hold up to a day of sun, wind, and water. Plus, at the end of the day, you can take your hair down and rock loose, beachy waves for the evening.\\n12. Stick with natural-looking makeup.\\nA light coverage foundation with SPF is perfect for the pool.\\nHeavy, full coverage foundation and concealer will be uncomfortable and won’t hold up in the sun all long. Subtle, natural-looking makeup is the way to go! Blend a dab of rosy cream blush into the apples of your cheeks and add a coat of waterproof mascara for a natural look that lasts all day.\\nBring along makeup wipes or blotting papers for cleanups during the day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Pool parties are a great way to mingle and enjoy a day in the summer sun, but what on earth do you wear? You want to look and feel fashionable, but comfort and practicality are just as important! Don’t worry, we’ll walk you through a variety of great options that you can rock pool-side, including looks that don’t involve wearing a swimsuit. We’ll touch on some hair and makeup ideas, too, so you’ll look and feel your very best.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go with swimwear that makes you feel confident.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a comfortable suit that fits well if you plan to swim.\", \"描述\": \"You certainly don’t have to swim at a pool party, but if you think you will, go with a suit that stays in place and fits well. Cute two-pieces, like tankinis, and stylish one-pieces are great options! How much skin you show is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable in.\\nIf this is a work-related pool party, a string bikini probably isn't a great choice. Go with something a bit more modest.\\nFor guys, the most fashionable and flattering look is a slightly fitted pair of trunks that falls between your mid-thigh and knee.\\nThe key to feeling confident is wearing something that's authentically you. If you feel comfortable rocking a two-piece then go for it, but if you don't, that's okay, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring a cute cover up that complements your suit.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go with a light, transparent fabric to show off your suit underneath.\", \"描述\": \"A white see-through caftan or a mesh cover up are stylish options that are both functional and fun. Keep in mind you don’t have to buy anything new! Kimonos and sarongs make stylish cover-ups, as well.\\nA long kimono or wrap can be open in the front if you're comfortable with that, while still providing a little coverage on the sides and backside.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go vintage with high-waisted shorts and a crop top.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay cool in this outfit if you’re not planning on swimming.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re not wearing a swimsuit to the party but still want to show a little skin, a midriff baring crop top paired with high-waisted shorts looks elegant and timeless. Skip the denim and go with elastic-waisted shorts in a fun print, like bright flowers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Rock denim cutoffs for a cool, classic look.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Denim shorts never go out of style and they’re easy to wear at the pool.\", \"描述\": \"Put on your swimsuit, slide on some denim shorts, and you’re off! You can skip a shirt altogether or go with a loose white T-shirt that allows your cute swimsuit to peek through a little.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try a comfy two-piece outfit for a resort vibe.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick an outfit with a matching top and bottom for a polished look.\", \"描述\": \"Try a short-sleeve button-down top and tie it at the bottom to show off your mid-riff. Pretty prints and plaids can be fun for pool-side, so go with bottoms that match the print or color of your top for a luxe resort look.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Turn up the glam in a summer dress.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dresses are lightweight, breathable, and fashionable.\", \"描述\": \"Plus, if you’re hitting a restaurant after the pool, you won’t have to change your clothes! Choose something colorful or rock a bold print in a lightweight, natural fabric like cotton or linen.\\nA short, flirty summer dress with spaghetti straps is a classic option if you want to show some skin.\\nLong, flowing dresses and skirts are also great choices! Go with loose, lightweight material so you’ll be comfortable.\\nA maxi dress can highlight your bikini top if you’re wearing a suit. Try pairing it with sandal wedges to feel confident and stylish.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Slip on a pair of flip flops or sandals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"These styles are both cute and practical for the pool.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to wear expensive footwear to a pool party since your shoes could definitely get wet! Go with a cute pair of flat, open-toed shoes, like sandals or flip flops, that complement your outfit and are easy to slip on and off.\\nAvoid high wedges and heels since those can look a little formal at the pool.\\nFor guys, go with low top or slip-on sneakers, boat shoes, or casual loafers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Pack your necessities in a colorful tote.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a bag that coordinates with your outfit or swimsuit.\", \"描述\": \"It’s so easy to throw everything you need into a casual tote and head to the pool, and you won’t have to worry about your belongings getting wet or damaged. Your tote doesn’t have to match your outfit perfectly, but pick something that complements your outfit’s style.\\nStraw totes are great for a carefree, boho vibe.\\nA canvas tote in a bold print is another classic option.\\nLook for a bag with hidden pockets to hide or protect items like tampons, valuables, and your phone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Accessorize with fun, casual jewelry.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick with bangles, beaded necklaces, and simple stud earrings.\", \"描述\": \"Just because it’s pool party doesn’t mean you can’t wear jewelry! Beaded or woven necklaces and bracelets are great options that you can safely get wet. Stacked plastic bangles in a variety of colors can make a fun statement, too.\\nAvoid wearing your nicest and most valuable pieces since they could easily be damaged or lost by the pool.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Complete your look with statement sunglasses.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Oversized and cat-eye sunglasses look glam and protect your eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Select a bright pair of frames for a fun, summery vibe. It’s always a fashion plus if your sunglasses match your outfit or swimsuit!\\nFor example, go with a pair that matches your swimsuit's color or try bold, geometric frames that complement the suit's pattern.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Choose a simple, no-fuss hairstyle.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Buns, topknots, and loose braids are cute, low maintenance styles.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll be outside all day, so go with a no-fuss hairstyle that can withstand the elements. Braids, buns, and ponytails are excellent choices that hold up to a day of sun, wind, and water. Plus, at the end of the day, you can take your hair down and rock loose, beachy waves for the evening.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Stick with natural-looking makeup.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A light coverage foundation with SPF is perfect for the pool.\", \"描述\": \"Heavy, full coverage foundation and concealer will be uncomfortable and won’t hold up in the sun all long. Subtle, natural-looking makeup is the way to go! Blend a dab of rosy cream blush into the apples of your cheeks and add a coat of waterproof mascara for a natural look that lasts all day.\\nBring along makeup wipes or blotting papers for cleanups during the day.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,711 | How to Be Fearless | 1. Dig deep to examine your fears.
Fear is often the symptom of a deeper underlying belief or issue.
Identifying the source of your discomfort makes it a lot easier to tackle the feeling in the moment. Rational fears and irrational fears are dealt with in different ways, and how you go about relieving your fear depends on where it’s coming from. When you feel afraid, ask yourself, “Where is this feeling coming from?” Often, examining your fear itself can be therapeutic and this may help on its own, but even if it doesn’t, at least you can determine the best way to go forward.
Your fear may be biological, meaning that you’re hardwired to be scared right now. Examples here include a fear of snakes, or heights. These fears are often logical, and it often helps to rationalize and cope with them.
Your fear may be based on a past experience. If you were attacked late at night when you were young, you may be scared of the dark. These fears are reasonable, but they aren’t rational, and it can be helpful to challenge these thoughts and expose yourself to these fears.
A fear may also be based on uncertainty about the future. An example may include a fear of failing a test you haven’t taken yet. It makes sense to be scared of bad outcomes, but it can help to work through and combat these fears.
2. Be objective with obviously irrational fears.
If you know a fear isn’t logical, challenge it by facing reality.
Sometimes, irrational fears can simply dissipate when you take a step back to think about them in a new way. Pretend that you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective and take a moment to think about whether it makes sense to be scared. Forcing your brain to shift from an irrational fear to a reasonably sound perspective can help take the edge off.
For example, if you have a fear of being robbed when you walk your dog at night, you might look at the crime rate where you live and realize how unlikely it is that you encounter a criminal, or start counting the number of trips you take without running into danger.
If an irrational fear interferes with your daily life, you may have a phobia. Phobias are extremely common, but one of the best ways to get over them is to start challenging and fighting against them.
3. Face your fears slowly over time.
Exposure to your fears can help you get over them.
For some objects of fear, repeated exposure to your fear may help you build your confidence over time, which can help you to not be scared. Start small, and just build your way up. As you get increasingly comfortable with your fear, you’ll stop being so scared.
For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you might start by watching videos of people speaking in public, and push yourself to share an idea publicly at work the next day. Then, slowly work your way up to giving toasts at weddings or gatherings. By increasing your exposure over time, you may be able to conquer your fear entirely.
This is the foundation of a therapeutic practice known as exposure therapy. This is one of the most scientifically-accepted ways to help treat mental health issues that cause panic, anxiety, and fear.
4. Practice mindfulness.
It’s a lot easier to quell fears if you’re in tune with your emotions.
Engaging in some form of mindfulness every day will help you identify, label, and process the emotions you experience. Things like meditation and deep-breathing exercises will help you bridge that gap between your body and mind. By leaning into your emotions and learning to label them as they come up, you’ll have a much easier time coping with, ignoring, or working through the fear you experience.
If you’ve never meditated before, there are apps and YouTube videos out there you can use to engage in some guided meditation.
If you’re looking to be more fearless in your daily life, mindfulness is a great way to get closer to your goal.
5. Be blindly optimistic.
Finding the silver lining in every situation is hard, but helpful.
If you get in the habit of constantly looking for the upside whenever fear or doubt start to creep in, you’ll regain some control over the way you feel. Nobody chooses to be scared—it just happens—but you can make a choice to start actively looking for the upside! The more positive you are, the less likely you’ll be to give in to those sudden pangs of uncertainty.
For example, if you’re scared of heights and you’re out on a hiking trail where you come across a ridge with a steep fall, you could focus on the beautiful landscape, or the fresh air in your lungs.
If you’re scared of taking a test in class, you could remind yourself that you’re learning a lot at school, or think about how fun it will be to hang out with your friends after school is over.
6. Improve your confidence.
It’s hard to be scared if you’re super confident in yourself.
If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll have a much easier time facing your fears, since you’ll have faith in your ability to work through them. If you experience mild fear on a daily basis, start building your confidence up. Do things that you’re good at, practice the things you aren’t particularly good at, and maintain a positive outlook by improving every day.
For example, if you’re scared to ask for a promotion. Read guides about negotiation, and watch motivational videos about working up the courage to ask for what you want. The more confident you feel, the less likely it will be that the fear wins out when it comes time for your performance review.
Sometimes it can help to “fake it until you make it.” This is where you simply pretend you’re really confident, even if you aren’t! Eventually, if you keep acting confident, you’ll actually become confident.
7. Overprepare to minimize anticipatory fear.
The more ready you feel, the less uncertain you’ll be about the future.
If you’re scared about a potential outcome, put the work in ahead of time to get as prepared as you possibly can be. This is the best way to fend off any anxiety you have about the future. You can’t always control how you feel in the moment, but you can control how much effort you put in leading up to that moment.
If you’re scared of a job interview you have coming up, prepare ruthlessly by researching the company, hosting some mock interviews, and scripting out responses for common questions like, “Tell us about yourself.”
This even works with irrational fears and phobias. If you have a fear that the world is going to end, you might put together an emergency kit together for your home and vehicle. Even if you know in the back of your mind that you’re probably never going to need that kit, the mere act of putting it together may help ease the way you feel.
8. Try new things.
The more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the better.
Fear is often a response to uncertainty, but like anything else, uncertainty gets easier to deal with the more you practice. Try new foods, talk to strangers, and visit new places. Once you see how freeing it can be to step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll have a much easier time brushing off fears about the future.
If you’ve been stuck in a routine lately, make an effort to deviate from that routine at least once a day. Even if it’s something as simple as going somewhere new for lunch, it’s going to be productive.
9. Stop treating failure as meaningless.
Another way to minimize the impact of fear is to recontextualize failure.
A lot of people are so scared of failure that they’re paralyzed by fear. If you can stop looking at failure as something to be avoided at all costs, you’re going to be a lot more comfortable. Think of all of the times you’ve learned something from things not working out, and start looking at future failures as learning opportunities to quell this kind of fear.
Let’s say you don’t land a new client at work. Ask yourself, “Why didn’t I land this client?” and, “What could I have done differently?” If you treat every setback as an opportunity for growth, any fear you experience won’t feel so unproductive.
10. Recognize productive fear.
Sometimes, fear is helpful when it comes to recognizing danger.
Fear is important sometimes, and while it’s unpleasant, there are times when you should listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head. If you’re about to do something dangerous, reckless, or potentially risky, that fear may be telling you to reconsider. In these instances, fear is something to respect and listen to, so don’t ignore it!
For example, if you’re in an argument or disagreement where tempers are high, your fear may be telling to calm people down or walk away.
If someone is hitting on you at a party and they’re just kind of giving off the “wrong vibes,” that little fear in the back of your mind may be telling you to stay way.
Some forms of fear are even fun. Think about something like a roller coaster, or a horror movie! The point here is that fear in and of itself is not a necessarily bad thing.
Tips
If you’re struggling with irrational fears and phobias to the point that it’s making it difficult to live your daily life, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. There are tons of therapeutic treatments out there that will help with this![12]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dig deep to examine your fears.\\nFear is often the symptom of a deeper underlying belief or issue.\\nIdentifying the source of your discomfort makes it a lot easier to tackle the feeling in the moment. Rational fears and irrational fears are dealt with in different ways, and how you go about relieving your fear depends on where it’s coming from. When you feel afraid, ask yourself, “Where is this feeling coming from?” Often, examining your fear itself can be therapeutic and this may help on its own, but even if it doesn’t, at least you can determine the best way to go forward.\\nYour fear may be biological, meaning that you’re hardwired to be scared right now. Examples here include a fear of snakes, or heights. These fears are often logical, and it often helps to rationalize and cope with them.\\nYour fear may be based on a past experience. If you were attacked late at night when you were young, you may be scared of the dark. These fears are reasonable, but they aren’t rational, and it can be helpful to challenge these thoughts and expose yourself to these fears.\\nA fear may also be based on uncertainty about the future. An example may include a fear of failing a test you haven’t taken yet. It makes sense to be scared of bad outcomes, but it can help to work through and combat these fears.\\n2. Be objective with obviously irrational fears.\\nIf you know a fear isn’t logical, challenge it by facing reality.\\nSometimes, irrational fears can simply dissipate when you take a step back to think about them in a new way. Pretend that you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective and take a moment to think about whether it makes sense to be scared. Forcing your brain to shift from an irrational fear to a reasonably sound perspective can help take the edge off.\\nFor example, if you have a fear of being robbed when you walk your dog at night, you might look at the crime rate where you live and realize how unlikely it is that you encounter a criminal, or start counting the number of trips you take without running into danger.\\nIf an irrational fear interferes with your daily life, you may have a phobia. Phobias are extremely common, but one of the best ways to get over them is to start challenging and fighting against them.\\n3. Face your fears slowly over time.\\nExposure to your fears can help you get over them.\\nFor some objects of fear, repeated exposure to your fear may help you build your confidence over time, which can help you to not be scared. Start small, and just build your way up. As you get increasingly comfortable with your fear, you’ll stop being so scared.\\nFor example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you might start by watching videos of people speaking in public, and push yourself to share an idea publicly at work the next day. Then, slowly work your way up to giving toasts at weddings or gatherings. By increasing your exposure over time, you may be able to conquer your fear entirely.\\nThis is the foundation of a therapeutic practice known as exposure therapy. This is one of the most scientifically-accepted ways to help treat mental health issues that cause panic, anxiety, and fear.\\n4. Practice mindfulness.\\nIt’s a lot easier to quell fears if you’re in tune with your emotions.\\nEngaging in some form of mindfulness every day will help you identify, label, and process the emotions you experience. Things like meditation and deep-breathing exercises will help you bridge that gap between your body and mind. By leaning into your emotions and learning to label them as they come up, you’ll have a much easier time coping with, ignoring, or working through the fear you experience.\\nIf you’ve never meditated before, there are apps and YouTube videos out there you can use to engage in some guided meditation.\\nIf you’re looking to be more fearless in your daily life, mindfulness is a great way to get closer to your goal.\\n5. Be blindly optimistic.\\nFinding the silver lining in every situation is hard, but helpful.\\nIf you get in the habit of constantly looking for the upside whenever fear or doubt start to creep in, you’ll regain some control over the way you feel. Nobody chooses to be scared—it just happens—but you can make a choice to start actively looking for the upside! The more positive you are, the less likely you’ll be to give in to those sudden pangs of uncertainty.\\nFor example, if you’re scared of heights and you’re out on a hiking trail where you come across a ridge with a steep fall, you could focus on the beautiful landscape, or the fresh air in your lungs.\\nIf you’re scared of taking a test in class, you could remind yourself that you’re learning a lot at school, or think about how fun it will be to hang out with your friends after school is over.\\n6. Improve your confidence.\\nIt’s hard to be scared if you’re super confident in yourself.\\nIf you’re confident in yourself, you’ll have a much easier time facing your fears, since you’ll have faith in your ability to work through them. If you experience mild fear on a daily basis, start building your confidence up. Do things that you’re good at, practice the things you aren’t particularly good at, and maintain a positive outlook by improving every day.\\nFor example, if you’re scared to ask for a promotion. Read guides about negotiation, and watch motivational videos about working up the courage to ask for what you want. The more confident you feel, the less likely it will be that the fear wins out when it comes time for your performance review.\\nSometimes it can help to “fake it until you make it.” This is where you simply pretend you’re really confident, even if you aren’t! Eventually, if you keep acting confident, you’ll actually become confident.\\n7. Overprepare to minimize anticipatory fear.\\nThe more ready you feel, the less uncertain you’ll be about the future.\\nIf you’re scared about a potential outcome, put the work in ahead of time to get as prepared as you possibly can be. This is the best way to fend off any anxiety you have about the future. You can’t always control how you feel in the moment, but you can control how much effort you put in leading up to that moment.\\nIf you’re scared of a job interview you have coming up, prepare ruthlessly by researching the company, hosting some mock interviews, and scripting out responses for common questions like, “Tell us about yourself.”\\nThis even works with irrational fears and phobias. If you have a fear that the world is going to end, you might put together an emergency kit together for your home and vehicle. Even if you know in the back of your mind that you’re probably never going to need that kit, the mere act of putting it together may help ease the way you feel.\\n8. Try new things.\\nThe more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the better.\\nFear is often a response to uncertainty, but like anything else, uncertainty gets easier to deal with the more you practice. Try new foods, talk to strangers, and visit new places. Once you see how freeing it can be to step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll have a much easier time brushing off fears about the future.\\nIf you’ve been stuck in a routine lately, make an effort to deviate from that routine at least once a day. Even if it’s something as simple as going somewhere new for lunch, it’s going to be productive.\\n9. Stop treating failure as meaningless.\\nAnother way to minimize the impact of fear is to recontextualize failure.\\nA lot of people are so scared of failure that they’re paralyzed by fear. If you can stop looking at failure as something to be avoided at all costs, you’re going to be a lot more comfortable. Think of all of the times you’ve learned something from things not working out, and start looking at future failures as learning opportunities to quell this kind of fear.\\nLet’s say you don’t land a new client at work. Ask yourself, “Why didn’t I land this client?” and, “What could I have done differently?” If you treat every setback as an opportunity for growth, any fear you experience won’t feel so unproductive.\\n10. Recognize productive fear.\\nSometimes, fear is helpful when it comes to recognizing danger.\\nFear is important sometimes, and while it’s unpleasant, there are times when you should listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head. If you’re about to do something dangerous, reckless, or potentially risky, that fear may be telling you to reconsider. In these instances, fear is something to respect and listen to, so don’t ignore it!\\nFor example, if you’re in an argument or disagreement where tempers are high, your fear may be telling to calm people down or walk away.\\nIf someone is hitting on you at a party and they’re just kind of giving off the “wrong vibes,” that little fear in the back of your mind may be telling you to stay way.\\nSome forms of fear are even fun. Think about something like a roller coaster, or a horror movie! The point here is that fear in and of itself is not a necessarily bad thing.\\nTips\\nIf you’re struggling with irrational fears and phobias to the point that it’s making it difficult to live your daily life, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. There are tons of therapeutic treatments out there that will help with this![12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Successful people are often praised for being \\\"fearless\\\" in the pursuit of their goals. However, living a fearless life does not mean living in the absence of fear. Instead, it means taking risks and dreaming big, even in the face of things that may make you uncomfortable. On top of that, fear can often be useful as a teaching tool, or warning sign. By identifying and separating productive and unproductive forms of fear, it will be much easier to grow and become the best version of yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dig deep to examine your fears.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fear is often the symptom of a deeper underlying belief or issue.\", \"描述\": \"Identifying the source of your discomfort makes it a lot easier to tackle the feeling in the moment. Rational fears and irrational fears are dealt with in different ways, and how you go about relieving your fear depends on where it’s coming from. When you feel afraid, ask yourself, “Where is this feeling coming from?” Often, examining your fear itself can be therapeutic and this may help on its own, but even if it doesn’t, at least you can determine the best way to go forward.\\nYour fear may be biological, meaning that you’re hardwired to be scared right now. Examples here include a fear of snakes, or heights. These fears are often logical, and it often helps to rationalize and cope with them.\\nYour fear may be based on a past experience. If you were attacked late at night when you were young, you may be scared of the dark. These fears are reasonable, but they aren’t rational, and it can be helpful to challenge these thoughts and expose yourself to these fears.\\nA fear may also be based on uncertainty about the future. An example may include a fear of failing a test you haven’t taken yet. It makes sense to be scared of bad outcomes, but it can help to work through and combat these fears.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be objective with obviously irrational fears.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you know a fear isn’t logical, challenge it by facing reality.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, irrational fears can simply dissipate when you take a step back to think about them in a new way. Pretend that you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective and take a moment to think about whether it makes sense to be scared. Forcing your brain to shift from an irrational fear to a reasonably sound perspective can help take the edge off.\\nFor example, if you have a fear of being robbed when you walk your dog at night, you might look at the crime rate where you live and realize how unlikely it is that you encounter a criminal, or start counting the number of trips you take without running into danger.\\nIf an irrational fear interferes with your daily life, you may have a phobia. Phobias are extremely common, but one of the best ways to get over them is to start challenging and fighting against them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Face your fears slowly over time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exposure to your fears can help you get over them.\", \"描述\": \"For some objects of fear, repeated exposure to your fear may help you build your confidence over time, which can help you to not be scared. Start small, and just build your way up. As you get increasingly comfortable with your fear, you’ll stop being so scared.\\nFor example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you might start by watching videos of people speaking in public, and push yourself to share an idea publicly at work the next day. Then, slowly work your way up to giving toasts at weddings or gatherings. By increasing your exposure over time, you may be able to conquer your fear entirely.\\nThis is the foundation of a therapeutic practice known as exposure therapy. This is one of the most scientifically-accepted ways to help treat mental health issues that cause panic, anxiety, and fear.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a lot easier to quell fears if you’re in tune with your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Engaging in some form of mindfulness every day will help you identify, label, and process the emotions you experience. Things like meditation and deep-breathing exercises will help you bridge that gap between your body and mind. By leaning into your emotions and learning to label them as they come up, you’ll have a much easier time coping with, ignoring, or working through the fear you experience.\\nIf you’ve never meditated before, there are apps and YouTube videos out there you can use to engage in some guided meditation.\\nIf you’re looking to be more fearless in your daily life, mindfulness is a great way to get closer to your goal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be blindly optimistic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding the silver lining in every situation is hard, but helpful.\", \"描述\": \"If you get in the habit of constantly looking for the upside whenever fear or doubt start to creep in, you’ll regain some control over the way you feel. Nobody chooses to be scared—it just happens—but you can make a choice to start actively looking for the upside! The more positive you are, the less likely you’ll be to give in to those sudden pangs of uncertainty.\\nFor example, if you’re scared of heights and you’re out on a hiking trail where you come across a ridge with a steep fall, you could focus on the beautiful landscape, or the fresh air in your lungs.\\nIf you’re scared of taking a test in class, you could remind yourself that you’re learning a lot at school, or think about how fun it will be to hang out with your friends after school is over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Improve your confidence.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s hard to be scared if you’re super confident in yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll have a much easier time facing your fears, since you’ll have faith in your ability to work through them. If you experience mild fear on a daily basis, start building your confidence up. Do things that you’re good at, practice the things you aren’t particularly good at, and maintain a positive outlook by improving every day.\\nFor example, if you’re scared to ask for a promotion. Read guides about negotiation, and watch motivational videos about working up the courage to ask for what you want. The more confident you feel, the less likely it will be that the fear wins out when it comes time for your performance review.\\nSometimes it can help to “fake it until you make it.” This is where you simply pretend you’re really confident, even if you aren’t! Eventually, if you keep acting confident, you’ll actually become confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Overprepare to minimize anticipatory fear.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more ready you feel, the less uncertain you’ll be about the future.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re scared about a potential outcome, put the work in ahead of time to get as prepared as you possibly can be. This is the best way to fend off any anxiety you have about the future. You can’t always control how you feel in the moment, but you can control how much effort you put in leading up to that moment.\\nIf you’re scared of a job interview you have coming up, prepare ruthlessly by researching the company, hosting some mock interviews, and scripting out responses for common questions like, “Tell us about yourself.”\\nThis even works with irrational fears and phobias. If you have a fear that the world is going to end, you might put together an emergency kit together for your home and vehicle. Even if you know in the back of your mind that you’re probably never going to need that kit, the mere act of putting it together may help ease the way you feel.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Try new things.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the better.\", \"描述\": \"Fear is often a response to uncertainty, but like anything else, uncertainty gets easier to deal with the more you practice. Try new foods, talk to strangers, and visit new places. Once you see how freeing it can be to step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll have a much easier time brushing off fears about the future.\\nIf you’ve been stuck in a routine lately, make an effort to deviate from that routine at least once a day. Even if it’s something as simple as going somewhere new for lunch, it’s going to be productive.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Stop treating failure as meaningless.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Another way to minimize the impact of fear is to recontextualize failure.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people are so scared of failure that they’re paralyzed by fear. If you can stop looking at failure as something to be avoided at all costs, you’re going to be a lot more comfortable. Think of all of the times you’ve learned something from things not working out, and start looking at future failures as learning opportunities to quell this kind of fear.\\nLet’s say you don’t land a new client at work. Ask yourself, “Why didn’t I land this client?” and, “What could I have done differently?” If you treat every setback as an opportunity for growth, any fear you experience won’t feel so unproductive.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Recognize productive fear.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, fear is helpful when it comes to recognizing danger.\", \"描述\": \"Fear is important sometimes, and while it’s unpleasant, there are times when you should listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head. If you’re about to do something dangerous, reckless, or potentially risky, that fear may be telling you to reconsider. In these instances, fear is something to respect and listen to, so don’t ignore it!\\nFor example, if you’re in an argument or disagreement where tempers are high, your fear may be telling to calm people down or walk away.\\nIf someone is hitting on you at a party and they’re just kind of giving off the “wrong vibes,” that little fear in the back of your mind may be telling you to stay way.\\nSome forms of fear are even fun. Think about something like a roller coaster, or a horror movie! The point here is that fear in and of itself is not a necessarily bad thing.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re struggling with irrational fears and phobias to the point that it’s making it difficult to live your daily life, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. There are tons of therapeutic treatments out there that will help with this![12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,712 | How to Be Feisty | 1. Acting Bold and Assertive
1-1. Let your opinions be known.
Feisty people aren't delicate, shrinking flowers. They don't hesitate to tell anyone what they're thinking. If you want to be feisty, start here. All feisty people let their opinions be known one way or another. Whether you're just shooting the breeze with friends or participating in a serious debate, you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, even if it's something they won't agree with. This has benefits beyond just making you seem feisty — a fearless expression of your opinions can lead others to respect you for your boldness, even if they don't agree with you.
While you will want to have no qualms about saying what's on your mind, ordinary social etiquette still applies to you even if you're feisty, so avoid being rude when you're expressing your opinions. For instance, if you're with your friends and they want to see a movie that you don't think you'll like, at dinner, you might say something light-hearted and sarcastic like, "Wow, another paranormal teen romance? Sounds awesome, guys!" You wouldn't want to say something like, "You guys are morons. I can't believe you idiots like that trash." Remember, feisty people are opinionated, but they're not cruel.
1-2. Let your emotions show.
As a feisty individual, just as you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, you'll also want to let them know how you're feeling. To a certain degree, the way you feel on the inside should be the way you behave on the outside. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout in somebody's face, go ahead and shout in their face (assuming they deserve it and that the situation is appropriate, of course). Don't waste time worrying about what other people think about your emotions. If they're genuine, they'll respect you for them.
Again, however, you'll want to be reasonable about just how extreme you are with the expression of your emotions. If you're frustrated during a math test, don't groan loudly and interrupt other students. If you're at a funeral, avoid breaking into fits of giggles, even if the joke you're thinking of is really funny. A healthy measure of common sense is key here — feisty people are open about their emotions, but they're not emotional wrecks.
1-3. Be confident.
The two pieces of advice above (to be open about what you think and feel) are easier said than done, especially if you're naturally shy. A big part of being feisty is having the confidence to be open about these things. Confidence allows you to be genuine without fear, to express yourself without reservation, and to care about what others think in a way that's not dependent on their approval for your satisfaction. As a great all-around social tool, confidence can also help your social interactions go smoothly in general, ensuring, for instance, that you're seen as feisty, rather than confrontational.
Gaining confidence in certain social situations is something almost everyone struggles with. Countless books, articles, and other resources have been written on the subject. While gaining confidence is a process that's too long and detailed to discuss in-depth here, the basic idea is that you'll want to at first fake confidence by literally imitating confident behaviors (using eye contact, standing with good posture, and so on). Eventually, you'll be able to internalize this external confidence and begin to focus on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses, while simultaneously working to improve yourself. It's a vague process, but one that becomes easier with practice.
For more information, check out our fantastic How to Be Confident article.
1-4. Relish friendly arguments.
There's no avoiding it — if you're confident and open about what you're thinking and feeling, eventually, you're going to run into someone who thinks or feels the opposite of what you do. Conflict is a natural part of being feisty, so don't run from it. Instead, embrace it. Feisty people enjoy the possibility of a spirited (but friendly) debate, so feel free to engage in a little good-natured sparring when the opportunity arises. Not only is this a chance to stretch your mental and verbal muscles, but also a chance to gain a new point of view, make a connection with another person, and even flirt, so long as you're open to these possibilities. As always, however, your "feistiness" is no excuse to be rude, so be conscientious of the other person's feelings as you argue.
The tricky part of arguing as a feisty person is balancing your own genuine emotions with the needs of maintaining a civil argument. While you have no obligation to humor opinions that you find repugnant (like, for instance, racist or sexist prejudices), you should make a point to be polite about any sensible opinion your opponent might have. As a general rule, it's OK to attack someone's opinion, but not the person him or herself (e.g., favor phrases like "that won't work" over ones like "you're dumb for thinking that will work").
1-5. Dress how you want to, not how other people want you to.
As shallow as it sounds, the clothes we choose to wear are an important way of expressing ourselves. If you show up to a job interview wearing a business suit, you're presenting a much more professional image than if you show up in sweats and a t-shirt. While feisty people should still pay attention to social convention when it comes to dressing for important events like weddings, interviews, graduations, and so on, when there aren't obvious social expectations of what you should wear, it's up to you!
Dress however you'd like — if you feel like wearing bright colors, wear bright colors. If you feel like wearing something dark and muted, wear that instead. Make your clothing an emblem of your inner personality — it's a somewhat shallow but admittedly noticeable way to express yourself to you everyone you meet!
1-6. Be self-assured, but not arrogant.
All of the suggestions above have recommended that you should listen to your inner thoughts and feelings when it comes to expressing yourself, rather than others'. For feisty people, it's generally more important to be honest and open about yourself than to temper your opinions because another person may disagree with them. However, when doing this, it's crucial to maintain a positive and friendly attitude, or you risk coming across as arrogant or conceited. Worrying about what you expect from yourself more than what others expect from you is a great mindset to have, but the opinions of other people aren't entirely without merit, so don't outright ignore them! People who don't ever listen to others aren't feisty, they're just close-minded.
Other people's input can help you see problems from a new perspective or even come to a new understanding of yourself. For instance, if you're having a friendly, feisty argument with a friend about what is and isn't appropriate dating behavior, if you listen to what he says (without letting him walk all over you), you may learn something that can win you more dates in the future. You also may not, but if you don't listen, you definitely won't.
2. Having a Playful Attitude
2-1. Have a sense of mischief.
As discussed above, feisty people are strong-willed and opinionated, but they're not blowhards. In fact, feisty people are usually a joy to be around because they simply love to have a great time! If you're looking to become feistier, start with your sense of mischief. Feisty people are constantly looking for a chance to get the better of others in good-natured, fun ways. Pranks and practical jokes are your bread and butter here, though you can also give the impression of being mischievous just by saying mischievous things. For starters, try any of the following:
Purposely interpreting the things your friends say in the worst way possible (e.g., with jokes like "that's what she said" and so on).
Leaving goofy messages on someone's computer after s/he leaves the room.
Impersonating a telemarketer when a parent answers your call.
Telling the people you meet at a party a name that isn't actually yours.
More elaborate practical jokes a la those in How to Pull Harmless Pranks.
2-2. See the humor in life.
Though feisty people enjoy the occasional argument, at their hearts, they're good-natured, happy people. Achieving this type of happy satisfaction is easiest if you have a strong sense of humor. If you're naturally somewhat serious or grim, this can be tricky, but it's not impossible. Memorizing a few canned jokes or funny stories can be good icebreakers, giving you an "in" to conversations so that you can let your guard down and begin enjoying yourself. Try to stay relaxed and open-minded during social encounters. Empathize with other people — realize that the vast majority are just like you. Most of all, practice by having light-hearted conversations with your friends and with people you've just met. A sense of humor is like a muscle: you have to use it to for it to become strong.
It's hard to have a good sense of humor if you're stressed, tired, or distracted. This means that, to be as feisty as possible, you'll need to have a strong hold on other aspects of your life, like your career and family responsibilities. Ironically, the best way to have a good sense of humor is to be serious about ensuring that everything else in your life is going well so that you can relax and enjoy yourself.
2-3. Tease!
Feisty people have reputations as merciless teases, and with good reason. Light-hearted teasing is a great way to keep another person's ego in check while subtly building up your own. In other words, it's just plain fun! When you tease, however, it's important to keep your barbs mild and to stay away from personally sensitive topics to avoid hurting the recipient's feelings. It's also important to be ready to receive a little teasing of your own. Don't dish it out if you can't take it!
One of the very feistiest ways to tease someone is to fire back with a perfect retort after s/he says something cheeky or unsuspecting. Doing this requires a quick wit and excellent comedic timing — it' not easy, but with practice, it is possible to get better at it. For more information, see How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks
2-4. Flirt!
One of the biggest perks of being feisty is that it's free license to be a shameless flirt! Flirting should be a fun, exciting opportunity and the perfect opportunity to show off your feistiness, not something to be dreaded. Don't be shy — remember that feisty people don't keep their opinions to themselves.
Like being confident, the specifics of flirting are so broad that there's not enough room to do them justice in this article. The basic idea is that you'll want to joke and lightly tease people you're attracted to, showing them special attention while simultaneously staying "hard to get". A sense of confidence is crucial for good flirting skills, though looks, intelligence, and a good personality are also big pluses.
If you're looking for more guidance, you may also want to check out How to Flirt.
2-5. Be sarcastic.
Quick! Make a list of the feistiest people or characters you know. Now, how many of them have a sarcastic sense of humor? Odds are that most do! From Princess Leia to Danny DeVito to Hermione Granger, feisty people are known for their prodigious senses of sarcasm. Basically, sarcasm is saying the opposite of what you think in a humorous way that makes it obvious that you're joking. Sarcasm is a great tool for joking, teasing, and flirting and is a potent conversational weapon in the hands of a feisty individual.
As an example of sarcasm, you might sarcastically say, "Gee, this chicken is just like grandma used to make" if you think it's not very good. You probably wouldn't just say, "This chicken is good" as a sarcastic joke, as there's not really any punchline here other than that you don't think it's good. Sarcasm needs humor to work well — sarcasm for sarcasm's sake can be dreadfully annoying.
2-6. See interactions as an opportunity to have fun.
More than anything else, feisty people view the possibility of interacting with another person as a way to enjoy themselves. Flirting, teasing, joking, and conversing are all great fun for the feisty man or woman, which makes performing these activities an entertaining end in and of themselves, rather than a means to something else. By enjoying the back and forth of a good conversation and pursuing exciting new interactions no matter where you are, you'll make new connections, find new friends, and quickly gain a reputation as a feisty go-getter.
3. Being High-Energy
3-1. Diet and exercise.
Being feisty takes a lot of energy. Treating every conversation like an exciting new opportunity, constantly looking for ways to joke and tease, and going to great pains to ensure that everyone around you knows what you're thinking can be mentally and physically demanding. Because of this, it's easiest to be feisty if your body can keep up with the demands your new feisty personality is placing on it. Stay in shape by making an effort to get some form of exercise everyday and avoiding sugary and fatty foods. You don't have to be a bodybuilder to be feisty — you just have to be fit enough to have the energy to pounce on every opportunity to express yourself.
For detailed fitness advice, check out our article selection on personal fitness.
3-2. Get plenty of rest and down-time.
Just as it's important to keep your body in good shape so that you have the energy to be as feisty as possible, it's also important to give yourself adequate rest so that, when you do run out of energy, you're able to replenish it. Everyone fatigues from social interactions at a different rate — some people can go from party to party without losing a beat, while others need to recuperate in solitude after a few hours out and about. Only you will know how much rest you need in order to be at your feistiest, so listen to your body. If you find yourself internally groaning at the thought of interacting with another human being, give yourself some alone time before venturing out.
It's worth noting that rest is also very important on a basic physical level. Most medical resources recommend that adults should get roughly 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Failing to get enough sleep can lead to chronic fatigue, stress, and irritability, all of which can lead to you acting more grouchy than feisty.
3-3. Pump yourself up when you're feeling low-energy.
While taking care of the physical side of the equation by exercising, eating nutritiously, and getting adequate rest are great ways to ensure you have the energy to be feisty at all times, in truth, sometimes even the feistiest people have a hard time motivating themselves. If you feel like you don't have the energy to meet the world with the feisty personality you know you have within you, try using one of the following pump-up strategies:
Listen to your favorite song. Bonus points if it's a motivational song along the lines of "Eye of the Tiger".
Watch an inspirational or suspenseful movie scene. Good choices include Alec Baldwin's profanity-laden speech from Glengarry Glen Ross and the Mexican standoff at the conclusion of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Perform a short burst of intense physical activity, like jumping jacks or sprinting.
Listen to your favorite comedian.
Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while.
Send a flirty text to your significant other.
Watch a jump-scare video online to shock yourself awake.
Tips
Don't be a bully. Bullies are cowards who pick on people weaker than them. Feisty people are confident and don't need to victimize others to show it.
Have a witty, insulting comeback prepared in response to an insult.
Warnings
Be careful not to turn into one of those people who will threaten to punch people in the face for looking in their direction for 2 seconds. Failure to follow this tip will result in ISS or home suspension.
Don't be too in-your-face
Don't emotionally abuse people.
Remember that you don't know everything. Being bold does not mean being arrogant and refusing to accept anyone else's opinion.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Bold and Assertive\\n1-1. Let your opinions be known.\\nFeisty people aren't delicate, shrinking flowers. They don't hesitate to tell anyone what they're thinking. If you want to be feisty, start here. All feisty people let their opinions be known one way or another. Whether you're just shooting the breeze with friends or participating in a serious debate, you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, even if it's something they won't agree with. This has benefits beyond just making you seem feisty — a fearless expression of your opinions can lead others to respect you for your boldness, even if they don't agree with you.\\nWhile you will want to have no qualms about saying what's on your mind, ordinary social etiquette still applies to you even if you're feisty, so avoid being rude when you're expressing your opinions. For instance, if you're with your friends and they want to see a movie that you don't think you'll like, at dinner, you might say something light-hearted and sarcastic like, \\\"Wow, another paranormal teen romance? Sounds awesome, guys!\\\" You wouldn't want to say something like, \\\"You guys are morons. I can't believe you idiots like that trash.\\\" Remember, feisty people are opinionated, but they're not cruel.\\n1-2. Let your emotions show.\\nAs a feisty individual, just as you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, you'll also want to let them know how you're feeling. To a certain degree, the way you feel on the inside should be the way you behave on the outside. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout in somebody's face, go ahead and shout in their face (assuming they deserve it and that the situation is appropriate, of course). Don't waste time worrying about what other people think about your emotions. If they're genuine, they'll respect you for them.\\nAgain, however, you'll want to be reasonable about just how extreme you are with the expression of your emotions. If you're frustrated during a math test, don't groan loudly and interrupt other students. If you're at a funeral, avoid breaking into fits of giggles, even if the joke you're thinking of is really funny. A healthy measure of common sense is key here — feisty people are open about their emotions, but they're not emotional wrecks.\\n1-3. Be confident.\\nThe two pieces of advice above (to be open about what you think and feel) are easier said than done, especially if you're naturally shy. A big part of being feisty is having the confidence to be open about these things. Confidence allows you to be genuine without fear, to express yourself without reservation, and to care about what others think in a way that's not dependent on their approval for your satisfaction. As a great all-around social tool, confidence can also help your social interactions go smoothly in general, ensuring, for instance, that you're seen as feisty, rather than confrontational.\\nGaining confidence in certain social situations is something almost everyone struggles with. Countless books, articles, and other resources have been written on the subject. While gaining confidence is a process that's too long and detailed to discuss in-depth here, the basic idea is that you'll want to at first fake confidence by literally imitating confident behaviors (using eye contact, standing with good posture, and so on). Eventually, you'll be able to internalize this external confidence and begin to focus on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses, while simultaneously working to improve yourself. It's a vague process, but one that becomes easier with practice.\\nFor more information, check out our fantastic How to Be Confident article.\\n1-4. Relish friendly arguments.\\nThere's no avoiding it — if you're confident and open about what you're thinking and feeling, eventually, you're going to run into someone who thinks or feels the opposite of what you do. Conflict is a natural part of being feisty, so don't run from it. Instead, embrace it. Feisty people enjoy the possibility of a spirited (but friendly) debate, so feel free to engage in a little good-natured sparring when the opportunity arises. Not only is this a chance to stretch your mental and verbal muscles, but also a chance to gain a new point of view, make a connection with another person, and even flirt, so long as you're open to these possibilities. As always, however, your \\\"feistiness\\\" is no excuse to be rude, so be conscientious of the other person's feelings as you argue.\\nThe tricky part of arguing as a feisty person is balancing your own genuine emotions with the needs of maintaining a civil argument. While you have no obligation to humor opinions that you find repugnant (like, for instance, racist or sexist prejudices), you should make a point to be polite about any sensible opinion your opponent might have. As a general rule, it's OK to attack someone's opinion, but not the person him or herself (e.g., favor phrases like \\\"that won't work\\\" over ones like \\\"you're dumb for thinking that will work\\\").\\n1-5. Dress how you want to, not how other people want you to.\\nAs shallow as it sounds, the clothes we choose to wear are an important way of expressing ourselves. If you show up to a job interview wearing a business suit, you're presenting a much more professional image than if you show up in sweats and a t-shirt. While feisty people should still pay attention to social convention when it comes to dressing for important events like weddings, interviews, graduations, and so on, when there aren't obvious social expectations of what you should wear, it's up to you!\\nDress however you'd like — if you feel like wearing bright colors, wear bright colors. If you feel like wearing something dark and muted, wear that instead. Make your clothing an emblem of your inner personality — it's a somewhat shallow but admittedly noticeable way to express yourself to you everyone you meet!\\n1-6. Be self-assured, but not arrogant.\\nAll of the suggestions above have recommended that you should listen to your inner thoughts and feelings when it comes to expressing yourself, rather than others'. For feisty people, it's generally more important to be honest and open about yourself than to temper your opinions because another person may disagree with them. However, when doing this, it's crucial to maintain a positive and friendly attitude, or you risk coming across as arrogant or conceited. Worrying about what you expect from yourself more than what others expect from you is a great mindset to have, but the opinions of other people aren't entirely without merit, so don't outright ignore them! People who don't ever listen to others aren't feisty, they're just close-minded.\\nOther people's input can help you see problems from a new perspective or even come to a new understanding of yourself. For instance, if you're having a friendly, feisty argument with a friend about what is and isn't appropriate dating behavior, if you listen to what he says (without letting him walk all over you), you may learn something that can win you more dates in the future. You also may not, but if you don't listen, you definitely won't.\\n2. Having a Playful Attitude\\n2-1. Have a sense of mischief.\\nAs discussed above, feisty people are strong-willed and opinionated, but they're not blowhards. In fact, feisty people are usually a joy to be around because they simply love to have a great time! If you're looking to become feistier, start with your sense of mischief. Feisty people are constantly looking for a chance to get the better of others in good-natured, fun ways. Pranks and practical jokes are your bread and butter here, though you can also give the impression of being mischievous just by saying mischievous things. For starters, try any of the following:\\nPurposely interpreting the things your friends say in the worst way possible (e.g., with jokes like \\\"that's what she said\\\" and so on).\\nLeaving goofy messages on someone's computer after s/he leaves the room.\\nImpersonating a telemarketer when a parent answers your call.\\nTelling the people you meet at a party a name that isn't actually yours.\\nMore elaborate practical jokes a la those in How to Pull Harmless Pranks.\\n2-2. See the humor in life.\\nThough feisty people enjoy the occasional argument, at their hearts, they're good-natured, happy people. Achieving this type of happy satisfaction is easiest if you have a strong sense of humor. If you're naturally somewhat serious or grim, this can be tricky, but it's not impossible. Memorizing a few canned jokes or funny stories can be good icebreakers, giving you an \\\"in\\\" to conversations so that you can let your guard down and begin enjoying yourself. Try to stay relaxed and open-minded during social encounters. Empathize with other people — realize that the vast majority are just like you. Most of all, practice by having light-hearted conversations with your friends and with people you've just met. A sense of humor is like a muscle: you have to use it to for it to become strong.\\nIt's hard to have a good sense of humor if you're stressed, tired, or distracted. This means that, to be as feisty as possible, you'll need to have a strong hold on other aspects of your life, like your career and family responsibilities. Ironically, the best way to have a good sense of humor is to be serious about ensuring that everything else in your life is going well so that you can relax and enjoy yourself.\\n2-3. Tease!\\nFeisty people have reputations as merciless teases, and with good reason. Light-hearted teasing is a great way to keep another person's ego in check while subtly building up your own. In other words, it's just plain fun! When you tease, however, it's important to keep your barbs mild and to stay away from personally sensitive topics to avoid hurting the recipient's feelings. It's also important to be ready to receive a little teasing of your own. Don't dish it out if you can't take it!\\nOne of the very feistiest ways to tease someone is to fire back with a perfect retort after s/he says something cheeky or unsuspecting. Doing this requires a quick wit and excellent comedic timing — it' not easy, but with practice, it is possible to get better at it. For more information, see How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks\\n2-4. Flirt!\\nOne of the biggest perks of being feisty is that it's free license to be a shameless flirt! Flirting should be a fun, exciting opportunity and the perfect opportunity to show off your feistiness, not something to be dreaded. Don't be shy — remember that feisty people don't keep their opinions to themselves.\\nLike being confident, the specifics of flirting are so broad that there's not enough room to do them justice in this article. The basic idea is that you'll want to joke and lightly tease people you're attracted to, showing them special attention while simultaneously staying \\\"hard to get\\\". A sense of confidence is crucial for good flirting skills, though looks, intelligence, and a good personality are also big pluses.\\nIf you're looking for more guidance, you may also want to check out How to Flirt.\\n2-5. Be sarcastic.\\nQuick! Make a list of the feistiest people or characters you know. Now, how many of them have a sarcastic sense of humor? Odds are that most do! From Princess Leia to Danny DeVito to Hermione Granger, feisty people are known for their prodigious senses of sarcasm. Basically, sarcasm is saying the opposite of what you think in a humorous way that makes it obvious that you're joking. Sarcasm is a great tool for joking, teasing, and flirting and is a potent conversational weapon in the hands of a feisty individual.\\nAs an example of sarcasm, you might sarcastically say, \\\"Gee, this chicken is just like grandma used to make\\\" if you think it's not very good. You probably wouldn't just say, \\\"This chicken is good\\\" as a sarcastic joke, as there's not really any punchline here other than that you don't think it's good. Sarcasm needs humor to work well — sarcasm for sarcasm's sake can be dreadfully annoying.\\n2-6. See interactions as an opportunity to have fun.\\nMore than anything else, feisty people view the possibility of interacting with another person as a way to enjoy themselves. Flirting, teasing, joking, and conversing are all great fun for the feisty man or woman, which makes performing these activities an entertaining end in and of themselves, rather than a means to something else. By enjoying the back and forth of a good conversation and pursuing exciting new interactions no matter where you are, you'll make new connections, find new friends, and quickly gain a reputation as a feisty go-getter.\\n3. Being High-Energy\\n3-1. Diet and exercise.\\nBeing feisty takes a lot of energy. Treating every conversation like an exciting new opportunity, constantly looking for ways to joke and tease, and going to great pains to ensure that everyone around you knows what you're thinking can be mentally and physically demanding. Because of this, it's easiest to be feisty if your body can keep up with the demands your new feisty personality is placing on it. Stay in shape by making an effort to get some form of exercise everyday and avoiding sugary and fatty foods. You don't have to be a bodybuilder to be feisty — you just have to be fit enough to have the energy to pounce on every opportunity to express yourself.\\nFor detailed fitness advice, check out our article selection on personal fitness.\\n3-2. Get plenty of rest and down-time.\\nJust as it's important to keep your body in good shape so that you have the energy to be as feisty as possible, it's also important to give yourself adequate rest so that, when you do run out of energy, you're able to replenish it. Everyone fatigues from social interactions at a different rate — some people can go from party to party without losing a beat, while others need to recuperate in solitude after a few hours out and about. Only you will know how much rest you need in order to be at your feistiest, so listen to your body. If you find yourself internally groaning at the thought of interacting with another human being, give yourself some alone time before venturing out.\\nIt's worth noting that rest is also very important on a basic physical level. Most medical resources recommend that adults should get roughly 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Failing to get enough sleep can lead to chronic fatigue, stress, and irritability, all of which can lead to you acting more grouchy than feisty.\\n3-3. Pump yourself up when you're feeling low-energy.\\nWhile taking care of the physical side of the equation by exercising, eating nutritiously, and getting adequate rest are great ways to ensure you have the energy to be feisty at all times, in truth, sometimes even the feistiest people have a hard time motivating themselves. If you feel like you don't have the energy to meet the world with the feisty personality you know you have within you, try using one of the following pump-up strategies:\\nListen to your favorite song. Bonus points if it's a motivational song along the lines of \\\"Eye of the Tiger\\\".\\nWatch an inspirational or suspenseful movie scene. Good choices include Alec Baldwin's profanity-laden speech from Glengarry Glen Ross and the Mexican standoff at the conclusion of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.\\nPerform a short burst of intense physical activity, like jumping jacks or sprinting.\\nListen to your favorite comedian.\\nCall a friend you haven't talked to in a while.\\nSend a flirty text to your significant other.\\nWatch a jump-scare video online to shock yourself awake.\\nTips\\nDon't be a bully. Bullies are cowards who pick on people weaker than them. Feisty people are confident and don't need to victimize others to show it.\\nHave a witty, insulting comeback prepared in response to an insult.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful not to turn into one of those people who will threaten to punch people in the face for looking in their direction for 2 seconds. Failure to follow this tip will result in ISS or home suspension.\\nDon't be too in-your-face\\nDon't emotionally abuse people.\\nRemember that you don't know everything. Being bold does not mean being arrogant and refusing to accept anyone else's opinion.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"What does it mean to be feisty? When we think of feisty people, we think of individuals who are strong-willed and vivacious, yet playful, with a zest for life. The word \\\"feisty\\\" actually stems from the 19th Century feist, meaning \\\"small dog\\\", so it's easy to see where the image of a feisty person as a fun-loving, bold, and spirited one is derived from. Becoming more feisty by fostering these qualities in yourself can be a way both to enhance your own enjoyment of life and also to make yourself more appealing to others for friendship or dating, so if you're on the fence, read on! See Step 1 below to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Bold and Assertive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your opinions be known.\", \"描述\": \"Feisty people aren't delicate, shrinking flowers. They don't hesitate to tell anyone what they're thinking. If you want to be feisty, start here. All feisty people let their opinions be known one way or another. Whether you're just shooting the breeze with friends or participating in a serious debate, you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, even if it's something they won't agree with. This has benefits beyond just making you seem feisty — a fearless expression of your opinions can lead others to respect you for your boldness, even if they don't agree with you.\\nWhile you will want to have no qualms about saying what's on your mind, ordinary social etiquette still applies to you even if you're feisty, so avoid being rude when you're expressing your opinions. For instance, if you're with your friends and they want to see a movie that you don't think you'll like, at dinner, you might say something light-hearted and sarcastic like, \\\"Wow, another paranormal teen romance? Sounds awesome, guys!\\\" You wouldn't want to say something like, \\\"You guys are morons. I can't believe you idiots like that trash.\\\" Remember, feisty people are opinionated, but they're not cruel.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let your emotions show.\", \"描述\": \"As a feisty individual, just as you'll want to let the people around you know what you're thinking, you'll also want to let them know how you're feeling. To a certain degree, the way you feel on the inside should be the way you behave on the outside. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout in somebody's face, go ahead and shout in their face (assuming they deserve it and that the situation is appropriate, of course). Don't waste time worrying about what other people think about your emotions. If they're genuine, they'll respect you for them.\\nAgain, however, you'll want to be reasonable about just how extreme you are with the expression of your emotions. If you're frustrated during a math test, don't groan loudly and interrupt other students. If you're at a funeral, avoid breaking into fits of giggles, even if the joke you're thinking of is really funny. A healthy measure of common sense is key here — feisty people are open about their emotions, but they're not emotional wrecks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"The two pieces of advice above (to be open about what you think and feel) are easier said than done, especially if you're naturally shy. A big part of being feisty is having the confidence to be open about these things. Confidence allows you to be genuine without fear, to express yourself without reservation, and to care about what others think in a way that's not dependent on their approval for your satisfaction. As a great all-around social tool, confidence can also help your social interactions go smoothly in general, ensuring, for instance, that you're seen as feisty, rather than confrontational.\\nGaining confidence in certain social situations is something almost everyone struggles with. Countless books, articles, and other resources have been written on the subject. While gaining confidence is a process that's too long and detailed to discuss in-depth here, the basic idea is that you'll want to at first fake confidence by literally imitating confident behaviors (using eye contact, standing with good posture, and so on). Eventually, you'll be able to internalize this external confidence and begin to focus on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses, while simultaneously working to improve yourself. It's a vague process, but one that becomes easier with practice.\\nFor more information, check out our fantastic How to Be Confident article.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Relish friendly arguments.\", \"描述\": \"There's no avoiding it — if you're confident and open about what you're thinking and feeling, eventually, you're going to run into someone who thinks or feels the opposite of what you do. Conflict is a natural part of being feisty, so don't run from it. Instead, embrace it. Feisty people enjoy the possibility of a spirited (but friendly) debate, so feel free to engage in a little good-natured sparring when the opportunity arises. Not only is this a chance to stretch your mental and verbal muscles, but also a chance to gain a new point of view, make a connection with another person, and even flirt, so long as you're open to these possibilities. As always, however, your \\\"feistiness\\\" is no excuse to be rude, so be conscientious of the other person's feelings as you argue.\\nThe tricky part of arguing as a feisty person is balancing your own genuine emotions with the needs of maintaining a civil argument. While you have no obligation to humor opinions that you find repugnant (like, for instance, racist or sexist prejudices), you should make a point to be polite about any sensible opinion your opponent might have. As a general rule, it's OK to attack someone's opinion, but not the person him or herself (e.g., favor phrases like \\\"that won't work\\\" over ones like \\\"you're dumb for thinking that will work\\\").\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dress how you want to, not how other people want you to.\", \"描述\": \"As shallow as it sounds, the clothes we choose to wear are an important way of expressing ourselves. If you show up to a job interview wearing a business suit, you're presenting a much more professional image than if you show up in sweats and a t-shirt. While feisty people should still pay attention to social convention when it comes to dressing for important events like weddings, interviews, graduations, and so on, when there aren't obvious social expectations of what you should wear, it's up to you!\\nDress however you'd like — if you feel like wearing bright colors, wear bright colors. If you feel like wearing something dark and muted, wear that instead. Make your clothing an emblem of your inner personality — it's a somewhat shallow but admittedly noticeable way to express yourself to you everyone you meet!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be self-assured, but not arrogant.\", \"描述\": \"All of the suggestions above have recommended that you should listen to your inner thoughts and feelings when it comes to expressing yourself, rather than others'. For feisty people, it's generally more important to be honest and open about yourself than to temper your opinions because another person may disagree with them. However, when doing this, it's crucial to maintain a positive and friendly attitude, or you risk coming across as arrogant or conceited. Worrying about what you expect from yourself more than what others expect from you is a great mindset to have, but the opinions of other people aren't entirely without merit, so don't outright ignore them! People who don't ever listen to others aren't feisty, they're just close-minded.\\nOther people's input can help you see problems from a new perspective or even come to a new understanding of yourself. For instance, if you're having a friendly, feisty argument with a friend about what is and isn't appropriate dating behavior, if you listen to what he says (without letting him walk all over you), you may learn something that can win you more dates in the future. You also may not, but if you don't listen, you definitely won't.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having a Playful Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a sense of mischief.\", \"描述\": \"As discussed above, feisty people are strong-willed and opinionated, but they're not blowhards. In fact, feisty people are usually a joy to be around because they simply love to have a great time! If you're looking to become feistier, start with your sense of mischief. Feisty people are constantly looking for a chance to get the better of others in good-natured, fun ways. Pranks and practical jokes are your bread and butter here, though you can also give the impression of being mischievous just by saying mischievous things. For starters, try any of the following:\\nPurposely interpreting the things your friends say in the worst way possible (e.g., with jokes like \\\"that's what she said\\\" and so on).\\nLeaving goofy messages on someone's computer after s/he leaves the room.\\nImpersonating a telemarketer when a parent answers your call.\\nTelling the people you meet at a party a name that isn't actually yours.\\nMore elaborate practical jokes a la those in How to Pull Harmless Pranks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"See the humor in life.\", \"描述\": \"Though feisty people enjoy the occasional argument, at their hearts, they're good-natured, happy people. Achieving this type of happy satisfaction is easiest if you have a strong sense of humor. If you're naturally somewhat serious or grim, this can be tricky, but it's not impossible. Memorizing a few canned jokes or funny stories can be good icebreakers, giving you an \\\"in\\\" to conversations so that you can let your guard down and begin enjoying yourself. Try to stay relaxed and open-minded during social encounters. Empathize with other people — realize that the vast majority are just like you. Most of all, practice by having light-hearted conversations with your friends and with people you've just met. A sense of humor is like a muscle: you have to use it to for it to become strong.\\nIt's hard to have a good sense of humor if you're stressed, tired, or distracted. This means that, to be as feisty as possible, you'll need to have a strong hold on other aspects of your life, like your career and family responsibilities. Ironically, the best way to have a good sense of humor is to be serious about ensuring that everything else in your life is going well so that you can relax and enjoy yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tease!\", \"描述\": \"Feisty people have reputations as merciless teases, and with good reason. Light-hearted teasing is a great way to keep another person's ego in check while subtly building up your own. In other words, it's just plain fun! When you tease, however, it's important to keep your barbs mild and to stay away from personally sensitive topics to avoid hurting the recipient's feelings. It's also important to be ready to receive a little teasing of your own. Don't dish it out if you can't take it!\\nOne of the very feistiest ways to tease someone is to fire back with a perfect retort after s/he says something cheeky or unsuspecting. Doing this requires a quick wit and excellent comedic timing — it' not easy, but with practice, it is possible to get better at it. For more information, see How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt!\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest perks of being feisty is that it's free license to be a shameless flirt! Flirting should be a fun, exciting opportunity and the perfect opportunity to show off your feistiness, not something to be dreaded. Don't be shy — remember that feisty people don't keep their opinions to themselves.\\nLike being confident, the specifics of flirting are so broad that there's not enough room to do them justice in this article. The basic idea is that you'll want to joke and lightly tease people you're attracted to, showing them special attention while simultaneously staying \\\"hard to get\\\". A sense of confidence is crucial for good flirting skills, though looks, intelligence, and a good personality are also big pluses.\\nIf you're looking for more guidance, you may also want to check out How to Flirt.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be sarcastic.\", \"描述\": \"Quick! Make a list of the feistiest people or characters you know. Now, how many of them have a sarcastic sense of humor? Odds are that most do! From Princess Leia to Danny DeVito to Hermione Granger, feisty people are known for their prodigious senses of sarcasm. Basically, sarcasm is saying the opposite of what you think in a humorous way that makes it obvious that you're joking. Sarcasm is a great tool for joking, teasing, and flirting and is a potent conversational weapon in the hands of a feisty individual.\\nAs an example of sarcasm, you might sarcastically say, \\\"Gee, this chicken is just like grandma used to make\\\" if you think it's not very good. You probably wouldn't just say, \\\"This chicken is good\\\" as a sarcastic joke, as there's not really any punchline here other than that you don't think it's good. Sarcasm needs humor to work well — sarcasm for sarcasm's sake can be dreadfully annoying.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"See interactions as an opportunity to have fun.\", \"描述\": \"More than anything else, feisty people view the possibility of interacting with another person as a way to enjoy themselves. Flirting, teasing, joking, and conversing are all great fun for the feisty man or woman, which makes performing these activities an entertaining end in and of themselves, rather than a means to something else. By enjoying the back and forth of a good conversation and pursuing exciting new interactions no matter where you are, you'll make new connections, find new friends, and quickly gain a reputation as a feisty go-getter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being High-Energy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Diet and exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Being feisty takes a lot of energy. Treating every conversation like an exciting new opportunity, constantly looking for ways to joke and tease, and going to great pains to ensure that everyone around you knows what you're thinking can be mentally and physically demanding. Because of this, it's easiest to be feisty if your body can keep up with the demands your new feisty personality is placing on it. Stay in shape by making an effort to get some form of exercise everyday and avoiding sugary and fatty foods. You don't have to be a bodybuilder to be feisty — you just have to be fit enough to have the energy to pounce on every opportunity to express yourself.\\nFor detailed fitness advice, check out our article selection on personal fitness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get plenty of rest and down-time.\", \"描述\": \"Just as it's important to keep your body in good shape so that you have the energy to be as feisty as possible, it's also important to give yourself adequate rest so that, when you do run out of energy, you're able to replenish it. Everyone fatigues from social interactions at a different rate — some people can go from party to party without losing a beat, while others need to recuperate in solitude after a few hours out and about. Only you will know how much rest you need in order to be at your feistiest, so listen to your body. If you find yourself internally groaning at the thought of interacting with another human being, give yourself some alone time before venturing out.\\nIt's worth noting that rest is also very important on a basic physical level. Most medical resources recommend that adults should get roughly 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Failing to get enough sleep can lead to chronic fatigue, stress, and irritability, all of which can lead to you acting more grouchy than feisty.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pump yourself up when you're feeling low-energy.\", \"描述\": \"While taking care of the physical side of the equation by exercising, eating nutritiously, and getting adequate rest are great ways to ensure you have the energy to be feisty at all times, in truth, sometimes even the feistiest people have a hard time motivating themselves. If you feel like you don't have the energy to meet the world with the feisty personality you know you have within you, try using one of the following pump-up strategies:\\nListen to your favorite song. Bonus points if it's a motivational song along the lines of \\\"Eye of the Tiger\\\".\\nWatch an inspirational or suspenseful movie scene. Good choices include Alec Baldwin's profanity-laden speech from Glengarry Glen Ross and the Mexican standoff at the conclusion of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.\\nPerform a short burst of intense physical activity, like jumping jacks or sprinting.\\nListen to your favorite comedian.\\nCall a friend you haven't talked to in a while.\\nSend a flirty text to your significant other.\\nWatch a jump-scare video online to shock yourself awake.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be a bully. Bullies are cowards who pick on people weaker than them. Feisty people are confident and don't need to victimize others to show it.\\n\", \"Have a witty, insulting comeback prepared in response to an insult.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful not to turn into one of those people who will threaten to punch people in the face for looking in their direction for 2 seconds. Failure to follow this tip will result in ISS or home suspension.\\n\", \"Don't be too in-your-face\\n\", \"Don't emotionally abuse people.\\n\", \"Remember that you don't know everything. Being bold does not mean being arrogant and refusing to accept anyone else's opinion.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,713 | How to Be Feminine | 1. Looking Feminine
1-1. Wear clothes you love.
Wear the correct clothes for your body shape and size - ones that are pretty, and modest if that makes you comfortable. Try wearing skirts and shorts rather than jeans, since jeans and pants are considered masculine. A skirt looks cute paired with a blouse, belt, and flats. Nothing really beats a classic pencil skirt, while a pleated skirt can be both cute and comfortable. If you've been wearing jeans for years, wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts will be a revelation; it will make you feel confident and feminine.
Dresses (fit & flare dresses with a belt) are sweet too.
Try to wear hosiery rather than bare legs. Go for the classic sheer look and avoid patterns. Tan or nearly black are also great colours to choose. Your skirt will help you enjoy the feeling of having your legs on display while keeping you comfortable.
Wear flat shoes if you don't like heels. The key is to choose something simple and classy.
If you can pull off the "just rolled out of bed" look, use it. If you can't, don't do it! Don't wear anything that hides your shape. Whatever you wear, people should be able to tell you've put some time and effort into putting your look together.
1-2. Wear a little makeup.
This step is not necessary, but it will help make you look a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look. But remember, you do not need makeup. Wear it only if you want to. If you're not comfortable with makeup, then so be it.
If you're really opposed to makeup, make sure your lips are moist by wearing lip balm whenever you can.
1-3. Accessorize.
In addition to your clothes and makeup, you should spend some time finding the perfect accessories to go with your wardrobe. You don't need a box full of accessories -- just a few key items can help tie your look together and can make you look more feminine. Here are some items to consider as you work on your more feminine look, while bringing out your personality:
A pretty silk scarf
Pearl earrings or other studs
A cute headband
A ribbon hair barrette
Some bracelets
Rings that are cute, but not too chunky or flashy
A simple and cute necklace
A smile! Smiling can make you look wonderful, as well as make you confident.
1-4. Love every inch of your body.
This is the first step to confidence. Your body is what makes you beautiful and feminine without wearing a thing! Part of loving your body is also taking care of it, so maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep and exercise to stay in shape. Emulating a model's clothes and fashion can make you look feminine.
Loving every inch of your body doesn't have to mean flaunting your body or showing it off every chance you get. It just means loving how you look and being comfortable in your own skin.
If you're a girl, don't think that you can't work out because it's not 'ladylike'. Taking a yoga class, a dance class or running or swimming or even going to the gym for a few minutes will get you more in touch with your feminine side and will make you love your body even more.
1-5. Set aside time for grooming.
Though you don't have to take a two-hour shower every day or spend an hour doing your hair, you should make sure that you always look, feel and smell clean and that you've devoted enough time to keeping up a ladylike appearance. Showing up somewhere after working out without showering is not very feminine; make sure that you exude cleanliness and poise and look relatively put together wherever you go.
Never look like you rushed to get your look together in time or put on makeup or comb your hair in front of your friends because you didn't have time to do it before.
1-6. Wear perfume or scented lotion.
If you want to look like a lady, then you have to smell like a lady. Consider putting a dab of perfume on your neck or rubbing some scented lotion on your neck or arms. Remember to only use a light touch, You don't want to overwhelm anyone with perfume that is overpowering.
2. Acting Feminine
2-1. Be graceful.
Many people appear more feminine when they make smooth movements. You will feel beautiful and in-control. Of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.
To be graceful, wear shoes that suit your appearance, and that are comfortable for you to walk in so you don't trip or walk in a way that looks unnatural or weird. If you want to master walking in heels, but don't quite know how, practice at home or in front of a mirror before you take your new look out into the world.
2-2. Learn to dance.
Dancing is an extension of your body and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing, for example, accentuates the natural curves of a person's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between two people— one person guides, while the other (you) follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.
2-3. Be playful.
Let's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Think about it: taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's estimation, nor is it very healthy overall. So, smile a lot, flirt, tease and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff, somber and serious, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.
Flirting is a part of being feminine Don't think that you're not allowed to flirt just because you're trying to be feminine.
2-4. Be confident - another important step to projecting femininity.
Having confidence will not only make you look and feel more feminine, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.
Part of being confident means mastering the body language of a confident person. Walk with your head high, smile and look straight ahead of you, not down at the floor.
Being confident doesn't mean being arrogant. You don't have to brag about your accomplishments to make people see how confident you are.
2-5. Walk in a more feminine way.
If you want to have a more feminine walk, then you should work on walking more with your hips than your shoulders, taking lighter steps instead of stomping, and taking your time to move from place to place. To be truly feminine, you should be gliding gracefully on your way and not look like you're rushing off to your next location. If you have to rush, try to look composed as you take quick short steps to reach your destination.
2-6. Be a good caretaker.
If you want to be feminine, then you have to know how to take care of someone, whether your partner has gotten sick, your dog has gotten injured or your best friend just needs a shoulder to cry on. Be prepared to serve chicken soup, take a person's temperature or tell a person to lie down and make them feel more comfortable and cared for. A feminine person helps, when they see who clearly needs their help. They should spring into action when someone needs to be nurtured.
This doesn't mean that you should focus your energies to taking care of other people. It just means that when the time comes to be a caretaker, you should be prepared.
2-7. Have admirable manners.
If you want to be feminine, then you must have good manners at the table and in all other aspects of your life. Manners mean not eating with your elbows on the table, greeting a person kindly even if you're having a bad day, not slouching or sneezing into your hands instead of a tissue and generally acting in a way that can serve as a model for others. Here are some other things to consider as you refine your manners:
If you're eating dinner in a group setting, make sure you say, "Please pass the chicken," instead of reaching and invading another person's personal space.
Find a nice way to give negative feedback. Instead of saying, "Will you shut up already?" say, "Would you mind lowering your voice?"
Avoid burping in public. Once you reach a certain age, burping in public is not funny anymore. If it happens by accident, just say "Excuse me," or "Pardon me."
Avoid rolling your eyes or generally being rude when someone is saying something you don't really want to hear.
3. Using the Right Words
3-1. Talk politely.
Femininity and cursing don't really go together. Speak politely, clearly, and considerately. It's better to say, "It's a little chilly today," rather than "I'm freezing my butt off!"
Start to change the way you think. Is the subject matter you want to discuss appropriate for polite company? No? Steer clear and think of something else. Is it crude or crass or inappropriate? Yes? Don't say anything. Start to train your mind to rethink things that aren't feminine.
3-2. Give sincere compliments.
Giving fake compliments is catty, not feminine. A feminine person should be able to find something kind or complimentary to say or make a person feel special and important by pointing out something that he or she is doing well. You can say something as simple as, "I love your dress. It matches your eyes perfectly." or "You're amazing at piano. How long have you been playing?" Take a sincere interest in a person and find a small way to show that you're paying attention.
You don't have to go overboard. Just give a compliment whenever the mood strikes you.
3-3. Avoid bragging.
If you want to be feminine, then avoid bragging about your accomplishments, talking about how amazing you look or generally showing off. A truly feminine person is confident enough in their looks and abilities to let other people figure out how amazing they are. You don't have to be so humble that you can't take a compliment or never talk about your achievements, but avoid doing anything that may come off as bragging or making you seem a little too full of yourself.
A truly feminine person doesn't need to show off for the compliments to come.
3-4. Be polite.
A feminine person isn't rude, off-putting or generally mean to anyone around them. Even if you're hanging around someone you don't like very much, you should avoid being openly combative or hostile. Instead, smile, be polite and limit your contact with the person as much as you can. A feminine person also says "please," and "thank you" whenever it's necessary.
Being polite doesn't mean you're restricted from talking about certain topics. Just ton't talk about anything overly vulgar, curse too much or bring up inappropriate topics in the wrong company.
3-5. Be compassionate.
A feminine person feels compassion for other people, knows how to sympathize with people and says the right thing when they're trying to help someone. Know how to say things like, "I'm so sorry you're feeling that way," "I can't imagine how hard that is for you," or "Please let me know if there's anything I can do." A feminine person knows how to recognize when someone is feeling upset, whether it's a dear friend or a small child and knows how to make that person feel better.
While you're saying comforting words, you should also behave in a comforting manner. Don't be afraid to put your arm around the person or to use your body language to show how sympathetic you are if it's appropriate.
Tips
Femininity is strong and always has been. Show the world how strong you can be while being feminine!
Everyone has a masculine and feminine side. You can be feminine in one way, such as you like getting your nails done or doing makeup, but masculine in another because you like playing or watching sports.
Always wear your hair down or pinned up.
Warnings
What is considered feminine and masculine varies from place to place. Some cultures even have a third gender and some people identify as nonbinary.
These tips are for Westernized cultures mostly. There are other cultures around the world that acknowledge more than two genders.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Feminine\\n1-1. Wear clothes you love.\\nWear the correct clothes for your body shape and size - ones that are pretty, and modest if that makes you comfortable. Try wearing skirts and shorts rather than jeans, since jeans and pants are considered masculine. A skirt looks cute paired with a blouse, belt, and flats. Nothing really beats a classic pencil skirt, while a pleated skirt can be both cute and comfortable. If you've been wearing jeans for years, wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts will be a revelation; it will make you feel confident and feminine.\\nDresses (fit & flare dresses with a belt) are sweet too.\\nTry to wear hosiery rather than bare legs. Go for the classic sheer look and avoid patterns. Tan or nearly black are also great colours to choose. Your skirt will help you enjoy the feeling of having your legs on display while keeping you comfortable.\\nWear flat shoes if you don't like heels. The key is to choose something simple and classy.\\nIf you can pull off the \\\"just rolled out of bed\\\" look, use it. If you can't, don't do it! Don't wear anything that hides your shape. Whatever you wear, people should be able to tell you've put some time and effort into putting your look together.\\n1-2. Wear a little makeup.\\nThis step is not necessary, but it will help make you look a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look. But remember, you do not need makeup. Wear it only if you want to. If you're not comfortable with makeup, then so be it.\\nIf you're really opposed to makeup, make sure your lips are moist by wearing lip balm whenever you can.\\n1-3. Accessorize.\\nIn addition to your clothes and makeup, you should spend some time finding the perfect accessories to go with your wardrobe. You don't need a box full of accessories -- just a few key items can help tie your look together and can make you look more feminine. Here are some items to consider as you work on your more feminine look, while bringing out your personality:\\nA pretty silk scarf\\nPearl earrings or other studs\\nA cute headband\\nA ribbon hair barrette\\nSome bracelets\\nRings that are cute, but not too chunky or flashy\\nA simple and cute necklace\\nA smile! Smiling can make you look wonderful, as well as make you confident.\\n1-4. Love every inch of your body.\\nThis is the first step to confidence. Your body is what makes you beautiful and feminine without wearing a thing! Part of loving your body is also taking care of it, so maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep and exercise to stay in shape. Emulating a model's clothes and fashion can make you look feminine. \\nLoving every inch of your body doesn't have to mean flaunting your body or showing it off every chance you get. It just means loving how you look and being comfortable in your own skin.\\nIf you're a girl, don't think that you can't work out because it's not 'ladylike'. Taking a yoga class, a dance class or running or swimming or even going to the gym for a few minutes will get you more in touch with your feminine side and will make you love your body even more.\\n1-5. Set aside time for grooming.\\nThough you don't have to take a two-hour shower every day or spend an hour doing your hair, you should make sure that you always look, feel and smell clean and that you've devoted enough time to keeping up a ladylike appearance. Showing up somewhere after working out without showering is not very feminine; make sure that you exude cleanliness and poise and look relatively put together wherever you go.\\nNever look like you rushed to get your look together in time or put on makeup or comb your hair in front of your friends because you didn't have time to do it before.\\n1-6. Wear perfume or scented lotion.\\nIf you want to look like a lady, then you have to smell like a lady. Consider putting a dab of perfume on your neck or rubbing some scented lotion on your neck or arms. Remember to only use a light touch, You don't want to overwhelm anyone with perfume that is overpowering.\\n2. Acting Feminine\\n2-1. Be graceful.\\nMany people appear more feminine when they make smooth movements. You will feel beautiful and in-control. Of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.\\nTo be graceful, wear shoes that suit your appearance, and that are comfortable for you to walk in so you don't trip or walk in a way that looks unnatural or weird. If you want to master walking in heels, but don't quite know how, practice at home or in front of a mirror before you take your new look out into the world.\\n2-2. Learn to dance.\\nDancing is an extension of your body and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing, for example, accentuates the natural curves of a person's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between two people— one person guides, while the other (you) follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.\\n2-3. Be playful.\\nLet's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Think about it: taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's estimation, nor is it very healthy overall. So, smile a lot, flirt, tease and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff, somber and serious, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.\\nFlirting is a part of being feminine Don't think that you're not allowed to flirt just because you're trying to be feminine.\\n2-4. Be confident - another important step to projecting femininity.\\nHaving confidence will not only make you look and feel more feminine, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.\\nPart of being confident means mastering the body language of a confident person. Walk with your head high, smile and look straight ahead of you, not down at the floor.\\nBeing confident doesn't mean being arrogant. You don't have to brag about your accomplishments to make people see how confident you are.\\n2-5. Walk in a more feminine way.\\nIf you want to have a more feminine walk, then you should work on walking more with your hips than your shoulders, taking lighter steps instead of stomping, and taking your time to move from place to place. To be truly feminine, you should be gliding gracefully on your way and not look like you're rushing off to your next location. If you have to rush, try to look composed as you take quick short steps to reach your destination.\\n2-6. Be a good caretaker.\\nIf you want to be feminine, then you have to know how to take care of someone, whether your partner has gotten sick, your dog has gotten injured or your best friend just needs a shoulder to cry on. Be prepared to serve chicken soup, take a person's temperature or tell a person to lie down and make them feel more comfortable and cared for. A feminine person helps, when they see who clearly needs their help. They should spring into action when someone needs to be nurtured.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should focus your energies to taking care of other people. It just means that when the time comes to be a caretaker, you should be prepared.\\n2-7. Have admirable manners.\\nIf you want to be feminine, then you must have good manners at the table and in all other aspects of your life. Manners mean not eating with your elbows on the table, greeting a person kindly even if you're having a bad day, not slouching or sneezing into your hands instead of a tissue and generally acting in a way that can serve as a model for others. Here are some other things to consider as you refine your manners:\\nIf you're eating dinner in a group setting, make sure you say, \\\"Please pass the chicken,\\\" instead of reaching and invading another person's personal space.\\nFind a nice way to give negative feedback. Instead of saying, \\\"Will you shut up already?\\\" say, \\\"Would you mind lowering your voice?\\\"\\nAvoid burping in public. Once you reach a certain age, burping in public is not funny anymore. If it happens by accident, just say \\\"Excuse me,\\\" or \\\"Pardon me.\\\"\\nAvoid rolling your eyes or generally being rude when someone is saying something you don't really want to hear.\\n3. Using the Right Words\\n3-1. Talk politely.\\nFemininity and cursing don't really go together. Speak politely, clearly, and considerately. It's better to say, \\\"It's a little chilly today,\\\" rather than \\\"I'm freezing my butt off!\\\"\\nStart to change the way you think. Is the subject matter you want to discuss appropriate for polite company? No? Steer clear and think of something else. Is it crude or crass or inappropriate? Yes? Don't say anything. Start to train your mind to rethink things that aren't feminine.\\n3-2. Give sincere compliments.\\nGiving fake compliments is catty, not feminine. A feminine person should be able to find something kind or complimentary to say or make a person feel special and important by pointing out something that he or she is doing well. You can say something as simple as, \\\"I love your dress. It matches your eyes perfectly.\\\" or \\\"You're amazing at piano. How long have you been playing?\\\" Take a sincere interest in a person and find a small way to show that you're paying attention.\\nYou don't have to go overboard. Just give a compliment whenever the mood strikes you.\\n3-3. Avoid bragging.\\nIf you want to be feminine, then avoid bragging about your accomplishments, talking about how amazing you look or generally showing off. A truly feminine person is confident enough in their looks and abilities to let other people figure out how amazing they are. You don't have to be so humble that you can't take a compliment or never talk about your achievements, but avoid doing anything that may come off as bragging or making you seem a little too full of yourself.\\nA truly feminine person doesn't need to show off for the compliments to come.\\n3-4. Be polite.\\nA feminine person isn't rude, off-putting or generally mean to anyone around them. Even if you're hanging around someone you don't like very much, you should avoid being openly combative or hostile. Instead, smile, be polite and limit your contact with the person as much as you can. A feminine person also says \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" whenever it's necessary.\\nBeing polite doesn't mean you're restricted from talking about certain topics. Just ton't talk about anything overly vulgar, curse too much or bring up inappropriate topics in the wrong company.\\n3-5. Be compassionate.\\nA feminine person feels compassion for other people, knows how to sympathize with people and says the right thing when they're trying to help someone. Know how to say things like, \\\"I'm so sorry you're feeling that way,\\\" \\\"I can't imagine how hard that is for you,\\\" or \\\"Please let me know if there's anything I can do.\\\" A feminine person knows how to recognize when someone is feeling upset, whether it's a dear friend or a small child and knows how to make that person feel better.\\nWhile you're saying comforting words, you should also behave in a comforting manner. Don't be afraid to put your arm around the person or to use your body language to show how sympathetic you are if it's appropriate.\\nTips\\nFemininity is strong and always has been. Show the world how strong you can be while being feminine!\\nEveryone has a masculine and feminine side. You can be feminine in one way, such as you like getting your nails done or doing makeup, but masculine in another because you like playing or watching sports.\\nAlways wear your hair down or pinned up.\\nWarnings\\nWhat is considered feminine and masculine varies from place to place. Some cultures even have a third gender and some people identify as nonbinary.\\nThese tips are for Westernized cultures mostly. There are other cultures around the world that acknowledge more than two genders.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to enhance your feminine side? If you really want to embrace your feminine side, then you have to cultivate grace, politeness, and capability. If you want to project a feminine image regardless of your gender identity, just follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Feminine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes you love.\", \"描述\": \"Wear the correct clothes for your body shape and size - ones that are pretty, and modest if that makes you comfortable. Try wearing skirts and shorts rather than jeans, since jeans and pants are considered masculine. A skirt looks cute paired with a blouse, belt, and flats. Nothing really beats a classic pencil skirt, while a pleated skirt can be both cute and comfortable. If you've been wearing jeans for years, wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts will be a revelation; it will make you feel confident and feminine.\\nDresses (fit & flare dresses with a belt) are sweet too.\\nTry to wear hosiery rather than bare legs. Go for the classic sheer look and avoid patterns. Tan or nearly black are also great colours to choose. Your skirt will help you enjoy the feeling of having your legs on display while keeping you comfortable.\\nWear flat shoes if you don't like heels. The key is to choose something simple and classy.\\nIf you can pull off the \\\"just rolled out of bed\\\" look, use it. If you can't, don't do it! Don't wear anything that hides your shape. Whatever you wear, people should be able to tell you've put some time and effort into putting your look together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear a little makeup.\", \"描述\": \"This step is not necessary, but it will help make you look a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look. But remember, you do not need makeup. Wear it only if you want to. If you're not comfortable with makeup, then so be it.\\nIf you're really opposed to makeup, make sure your lips are moist by wearing lip balm whenever you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessorize.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to your clothes and makeup, you should spend some time finding the perfect accessories to go with your wardrobe. You don't need a box full of accessories -- just a few key items can help tie your look together and can make you look more feminine. Here are some items to consider as you work on your more feminine look, while bringing out your personality:\\nA pretty silk scarf\\nPearl earrings or other studs\\nA cute headband\\nA ribbon hair barrette\\nSome bracelets\\nRings that are cute, but not too chunky or flashy\\nA simple and cute necklace\\nA smile! Smiling can make you look wonderful, as well as make you confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Love every inch of your body.\", \"描述\": \"This is the first step to confidence. Your body is what makes you beautiful and feminine without wearing a thing! Part of loving your body is also taking care of it, so maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep and exercise to stay in shape. Emulating a model's clothes and fashion can make you look feminine. \\nLoving every inch of your body doesn't have to mean flaunting your body or showing it off every chance you get. It just means loving how you look and being comfortable in your own skin.\\nIf you're a girl, don't think that you can't work out because it's not 'ladylike'. Taking a yoga class, a dance class or running or swimming or even going to the gym for a few minutes will get you more in touch with your feminine side and will make you love your body even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set aside time for grooming.\", \"描述\": \"Though you don't have to take a two-hour shower every day or spend an hour doing your hair, you should make sure that you always look, feel and smell clean and that you've devoted enough time to keeping up a ladylike appearance. Showing up somewhere after working out without showering is not very feminine; make sure that you exude cleanliness and poise and look relatively put together wherever you go.\\nNever look like you rushed to get your look together in time or put on makeup or comb your hair in front of your friends because you didn't have time to do it before.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear perfume or scented lotion.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to look like a lady, then you have to smell like a lady. Consider putting a dab of perfume on your neck or rubbing some scented lotion on your neck or arms. Remember to only use a light touch, You don't want to overwhelm anyone with perfume that is overpowering.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Feminine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be graceful.\", \"描述\": \"Many people appear more feminine when they make smooth movements. You will feel beautiful and in-control. Of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.\\nTo be graceful, wear shoes that suit your appearance, and that are comfortable for you to walk in so you don't trip or walk in a way that looks unnatural or weird. If you want to master walking in heels, but don't quite know how, practice at home or in front of a mirror before you take your new look out into the world.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to dance.\", \"描述\": \"Dancing is an extension of your body and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing, for example, accentuates the natural curves of a person's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between two people— one person guides, while the other (you) follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be playful.\", \"描述\": \"Let's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Think about it: taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's estimation, nor is it very healthy overall. So, smile a lot, flirt, tease and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff, somber and serious, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.\\nFlirting is a part of being feminine Don't think that you're not allowed to flirt just because you're trying to be feminine.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be confident - another important step to projecting femininity.\", \"描述\": \"Having confidence will not only make you look and feel more feminine, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.\\nPart of being confident means mastering the body language of a confident person. Walk with your head high, smile and look straight ahead of you, not down at the floor.\\nBeing confident doesn't mean being arrogant. You don't have to brag about your accomplishments to make people see how confident you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Walk in a more feminine way.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to have a more feminine walk, then you should work on walking more with your hips than your shoulders, taking lighter steps instead of stomping, and taking your time to move from place to place. To be truly feminine, you should be gliding gracefully on your way and not look like you're rushing off to your next location. If you have to rush, try to look composed as you take quick short steps to reach your destination.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be a good caretaker.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be feminine, then you have to know how to take care of someone, whether your partner has gotten sick, your dog has gotten injured or your best friend just needs a shoulder to cry on. Be prepared to serve chicken soup, take a person's temperature or tell a person to lie down and make them feel more comfortable and cared for. A feminine person helps, when they see who clearly needs their help. They should spring into action when someone needs to be nurtured.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should focus your energies to taking care of other people. It just means that when the time comes to be a caretaker, you should be prepared.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have admirable manners.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be feminine, then you must have good manners at the table and in all other aspects of your life. Manners mean not eating with your elbows on the table, greeting a person kindly even if you're having a bad day, not slouching or sneezing into your hands instead of a tissue and generally acting in a way that can serve as a model for others. Here are some other things to consider as you refine your manners:\\nIf you're eating dinner in a group setting, make sure you say, \\\"Please pass the chicken,\\\" instead of reaching and invading another person's personal space.\\nFind a nice way to give negative feedback. Instead of saying, \\\"Will you shut up already?\\\" say, \\\"Would you mind lowering your voice?\\\"\\nAvoid burping in public. Once you reach a certain age, burping in public is not funny anymore. If it happens by accident, just say \\\"Excuse me,\\\" or \\\"Pardon me.\\\"\\nAvoid rolling your eyes or generally being rude when someone is saying something you don't really want to hear.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using the Right Words\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk politely.\", \"描述\": \"Femininity and cursing don't really go together. Speak politely, clearly, and considerately. It's better to say, \\\"It's a little chilly today,\\\" rather than \\\"I'm freezing my butt off!\\\"\\nStart to change the way you think. Is the subject matter you want to discuss appropriate for polite company? No? Steer clear and think of something else. Is it crude or crass or inappropriate? Yes? Don't say anything. Start to train your mind to rethink things that aren't feminine.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give sincere compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Giving fake compliments is catty, not feminine. A feminine person should be able to find something kind or complimentary to say or make a person feel special and important by pointing out something that he or she is doing well. You can say something as simple as, \\\"I love your dress. It matches your eyes perfectly.\\\" or \\\"You're amazing at piano. How long have you been playing?\\\" Take a sincere interest in a person and find a small way to show that you're paying attention.\\nYou don't have to go overboard. Just give a compliment whenever the mood strikes you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid bragging.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be feminine, then avoid bragging about your accomplishments, talking about how amazing you look or generally showing off. A truly feminine person is confident enough in their looks and abilities to let other people figure out how amazing they are. You don't have to be so humble that you can't take a compliment or never talk about your achievements, but avoid doing anything that may come off as bragging or making you seem a little too full of yourself.\\nA truly feminine person doesn't need to show off for the compliments to come.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"A feminine person isn't rude, off-putting or generally mean to anyone around them. Even if you're hanging around someone you don't like very much, you should avoid being openly combative or hostile. Instead, smile, be polite and limit your contact with the person as much as you can. A feminine person also says \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" whenever it's necessary.\\nBeing polite doesn't mean you're restricted from talking about certain topics. Just ton't talk about anything overly vulgar, curse too much or bring up inappropriate topics in the wrong company.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be compassionate.\", \"描述\": \"A feminine person feels compassion for other people, knows how to sympathize with people and says the right thing when they're trying to help someone. Know how to say things like, \\\"I'm so sorry you're feeling that way,\\\" \\\"I can't imagine how hard that is for you,\\\" or \\\"Please let me know if there's anything I can do.\\\" A feminine person knows how to recognize when someone is feeling upset, whether it's a dear friend or a small child and knows how to make that person feel better.\\nWhile you're saying comforting words, you should also behave in a comforting manner. Don't be afraid to put your arm around the person or to use your body language to show how sympathetic you are if it's appropriate.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Femininity is strong and always has been. Show the world how strong you can be while being feminine!\\n\", \"Everyone has a masculine and feminine side. You can be feminine in one way, such as you like getting your nails done or doing makeup, but masculine in another because you like playing or watching sports.\\n\", \"Always wear your hair down or pinned up.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"What is considered feminine and masculine varies from place to place. Some cultures even have a third gender and some people identify as nonbinary.\\n\", \"These tips are for Westernized cultures mostly. There are other cultures around the world that acknowledge more than two genders.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,714 | How to Be Financially Disciplined | 1. Getting the Basics Down
1-1. Organize all your financial documents.
Create a file folder or a cabinet or box with sections for all your expenses, insurance, assets, income and liabilities. You could label the folders this way:
House/apartment
Income
Insurance
Medical
Vehicle
Utilities
Taxes
1-2. In each folder put everything associated with the category.
For example, under "house/apartment" you would keep mortgage or lease/rent documents. Under "utilities" you'd file gas/electricity, water, sewage, tv/internet, and phone bills. Note everything you spend on entertainment, groceries, and gas.
1-3. Determine how much you spend in each category.
Some expenses are unavoidable, such as mortgage/rent and utilities. However, you could reduce your monthly expenses in other categories by first determining how much you spend there and how much is absolutely necessary.
1-4. Create a balance sheet with all your income in one column and all your expenses in another.
Do this for at least three months to determine a pattern. By doing this you get an idea of how often you eat out and how much you spend on movies or other entertainment. You'll begin to see where you might be able to reduce costs.
1-5. Set goals.
Write down everything you want to accomplish. Include estimates of how much your goals will cost and how long before you achieve them. For example:
"Buy a house: $200,000 with a 5% down payment. Save $10,000 by June 2020."
This will give you an idea of how much you need to save to reach your goals.
1-6. Once you've identified your goals, determine which are short-range goals (within five years), and determine how much you will need to put aside every month to reach them.
Let’s say you want to buy a $30,000 car. You can take out a loan for $30,000 that you will need to pay back in three years. You will have monthly costs (not taking interest into account) of approximately $833.
1-7. Save as much as possible for a down payment.
This will reduce the amount of the loan and the interest you'll pay on it. Be realistic in setting money aside, because you'll have to continue meeting your living expenses.
1-8. Ask your payroll department to deposit a certain amount from your paychecks into whatever retirement account your employer offers.
By paying yourself first in this way, you can save money for retirement without even seeing it (and being tempted to spend it). Spend only a part of what's left in each paycheck. Try to save as much of what remains as you can. You may find it hard to maximize your savings, but as you near retirement, you will be very glad you did.
1-9. Deposit some money into a savings account for emergency purposes.
Try to maintain an emergency fund consisting of roughly six months' worth of normal expenses. This will help cover costs should you lose your job or become temporarily incapacitated.
1-10. Find ways to reduce costs.
Using a budget will help. Here are some examples:
Watch matinee movies instead of higher-priced evening showings.
Eat out once or twice a month rather than once or twice a week.
Make your own coffee and take it to work or school rather than stopping by a coffee stand on your way.
Leave your credit cards home when going shopping. If you're determined to use a card, pick one with a generous rewards program.
Don’t go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You may buy more than you need at such times.
2. Using the Envelopes System
2-1. Budget each paycheck.
Take note of how you spend your money. Keep a list of every outlay. When you stay accountable this way, you'll tend to be a little more careful. Allocate an amount each payday for food, utilities, entertainment, and whatever other necessities you're committed to.
This completely depends on the size of your paycheck and how much you tend to spend on groceries, clothing and the like.
Sometimes you'll have to cut down on some things to make it work and to make sure you aren't stretching yourself too tightly.
2-2. Label some envelopes.
Create an envelope for each of the above categories. Once you've budgeted your paycheck, you'll fill those envelopes with the amount of cash allotted to each category. For example, if you've allotted $100 for food, you'll put $100 in your food envelope.
2-3. Don't resupply the envelopes until the next paycheck.
This means that once you've spent the money in an envelope, that's all you can spend in that category until the next paycheck. So if you blow all your fun money at once, don't take a trip to the ATM to replenish. Take your envelopes seriously.
Don't be stupid. If you're low on groceries, and you've run through all your food money, you might have to borrow from another envelope. Pay it back the next payday. You may need to adjust your budget if you keep running short.
2-4. Allow time to get it right.
You aren't going to get the system 100% right the first time. That's okay. It'll take a few months to get accustomed to budgeting and to figure out how much you need for essentials like food and electricity before you can spend more on clothes and fun things.
2-5. Try to avoid using plastic.
There will be times when you're going to need to use a debit or credit card. Using plastic, however, is so easy that you may not even feel like you're spending money. That's not good if you're trying to be disciplined with your finances.
Tips
The grass is not always greener elsewhere. If your friend buys the newest iPod, you probably don't actually need one, too. Think long-term, not short.
Create an Excel spreadsheet showing all recurring monthly expenses. Fill in expenditures as they occur, and Excel will show you the monthly totals.
Learning financial discipline takes time. Start by changing one thing at a time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting the Basics Down\\n1-1. Organize all your financial documents.\\nCreate a file folder or a cabinet or box with sections for all your expenses, insurance, assets, income and liabilities. You could label the folders this way: \\nHouse/apartment\\nIncome\\nInsurance\\nMedical\\nVehicle\\nUtilities\\nTaxes\\n1-2. In each folder put everything associated with the category.\\nFor example, under \\\"house/apartment\\\" you would keep mortgage or lease/rent documents. Under \\\"utilities\\\" you'd file gas/electricity, water, sewage, tv/internet, and phone bills. Note everything you spend on entertainment, groceries, and gas.\\n1-3. Determine how much you spend in each category.\\nSome expenses are unavoidable, such as mortgage/rent and utilities. However, you could reduce your monthly expenses in other categories by first determining how much you spend there and how much is absolutely necessary.\\n1-4. Create a balance sheet with all your income in one column and all your expenses in another.\\nDo this for at least three months to determine a pattern. By doing this you get an idea of how often you eat out and how much you spend on movies or other entertainment. You'll begin to see where you might be able to reduce costs.\\n1-5. Set goals.\\nWrite down everything you want to accomplish. Include estimates of how much your goals will cost and how long before you achieve them. For example: \\n\\\"Buy a house: $200,000 with a 5% down payment. Save $10,000 by June 2020.\\\"\\nThis will give you an idea of how much you need to save to reach your goals.\\n1-6. Once you've identified your goals, determine which are short-range goals (within five years), and determine how much you will need to put aside every month to reach them.\\nLet’s say you want to buy a $30,000 car. You can take out a loan for $30,000 that you will need to pay back in three years. You will have monthly costs (not taking interest into account) of approximately $833.\\n1-7. Save as much as possible for a down payment.\\nThis will reduce the amount of the loan and the interest you'll pay on it. Be realistic in setting money aside, because you'll have to continue meeting your living expenses.\\n1-8. Ask your payroll department to deposit a certain amount from your paychecks into whatever retirement account your employer offers.\\nBy paying yourself first in this way, you can save money for retirement without even seeing it (and being tempted to spend it). Spend only a part of what's left in each paycheck. Try to save as much of what remains as you can. You may find it hard to maximize your savings, but as you near retirement, you will be very glad you did.\\n1-9. Deposit some money into a savings account for emergency purposes.\\nTry to maintain an emergency fund consisting of roughly six months' worth of normal expenses. This will help cover costs should you lose your job or become temporarily incapacitated.\\n1-10. Find ways to reduce costs.\\nUsing a budget will help. Here are some examples:\\nWatch matinee movies instead of higher-priced evening showings.\\nEat out once or twice a month rather than once or twice a week.\\nMake your own coffee and take it to work or school rather than stopping by a coffee stand on your way.\\nLeave your credit cards home when going shopping. If you're determined to use a card, pick one with a generous rewards program.\\nDon’t go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You may buy more than you need at such times.\\n2. Using the Envelopes System\\n2-1. Budget each paycheck.\\nTake note of how you spend your money. Keep a list of every outlay. When you stay accountable this way, you'll tend to be a little more careful. Allocate an amount each payday for food, utilities, entertainment, and whatever other necessities you're committed to. \\nThis completely depends on the size of your paycheck and how much you tend to spend on groceries, clothing and the like.\\nSometimes you'll have to cut down on some things to make it work and to make sure you aren't stretching yourself too tightly.\\n2-2. Label some envelopes.\\nCreate an envelope for each of the above categories. Once you've budgeted your paycheck, you'll fill those envelopes with the amount of cash allotted to each category. For example, if you've allotted $100 for food, you'll put $100 in your food envelope.\\n2-3. Don't resupply the envelopes until the next paycheck.\\nThis means that once you've spent the money in an envelope, that's all you can spend in that category until the next paycheck. So if you blow all your fun money at once, don't take a trip to the ATM to replenish. Take your envelopes seriously. \\nDon't be stupid. If you're low on groceries, and you've run through all your food money, you might have to borrow from another envelope. Pay it back the next payday. You may need to adjust your budget if you keep running short.\\n2-4. Allow time to get it right.\\nYou aren't going to get the system 100% right the first time. That's okay. It'll take a few months to get accustomed to budgeting and to figure out how much you need for essentials like food and electricity before you can spend more on clothes and fun things.\\n2-5. Try to avoid using plastic.\\nThere will be times when you're going to need to use a debit or credit card. Using plastic, however, is so easy that you may not even feel like you're spending money. That's not good if you're trying to be disciplined with your finances.\\nTips\\nThe grass is not always greener elsewhere. If your friend buys the newest iPod, you probably don't actually need one, too. Think long-term, not short.\\nCreate an Excel spreadsheet showing all recurring monthly expenses. Fill in expenditures as they occur, and Excel will show you the monthly totals.\\nLearning financial discipline takes time. Start by changing one thing at a time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to do a better job of saving money while enjoying a bit of entertainment, too? This article features a simple way to save, enjoy and not have to worry all the time about money. Read on to find help in being financially disciplined.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting the Basics Down\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organize all your financial documents.\", \"描述\": \"Create a file folder or a cabinet or box with sections for all your expenses, insurance, assets, income and liabilities. You could label the folders this way: \\nHouse/apartment\\nIncome\\nInsurance\\nMedical\\nVehicle\\nUtilities\\nTaxes\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"In each folder put everything associated with the category.\", \"描述\": \"For example, under \\\"house/apartment\\\" you would keep mortgage or lease/rent documents. Under \\\"utilities\\\" you'd file gas/electricity, water, sewage, tv/internet, and phone bills. Note everything you spend on entertainment, groceries, and gas.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine how much you spend in each category.\", \"描述\": \"Some expenses are unavoidable, such as mortgage/rent and utilities. However, you could reduce your monthly expenses in other categories by first determining how much you spend there and how much is absolutely necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a balance sheet with all your income in one column and all your expenses in another.\", \"描述\": \"Do this for at least three months to determine a pattern. By doing this you get an idea of how often you eat out and how much you spend on movies or other entertainment. You'll begin to see where you might be able to reduce costs.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Write down everything you want to accomplish. Include estimates of how much your goals will cost and how long before you achieve them. For example: \\n\\\"Buy a house: $200,000 with a 5% down payment. Save $10,000 by June 2020.\\\"\\nThis will give you an idea of how much you need to save to reach your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Once you've identified your goals, determine which are short-range goals (within five years), and determine how much you will need to put aside every month to reach them.\", \"描述\": \"Let’s say you want to buy a $30,000 car. You can take out a loan for $30,000 that you will need to pay back in three years. You will have monthly costs (not taking interest into account) of approximately $833.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Save as much as possible for a down payment.\", \"描述\": \"This will reduce the amount of the loan and the interest you'll pay on it. Be realistic in setting money aside, because you'll have to continue meeting your living expenses.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask your payroll department to deposit a certain amount from your paychecks into whatever retirement account your employer offers.\", \"描述\": \"By paying yourself first in this way, you can save money for retirement without even seeing it (and being tempted to spend it). Spend only a part of what's left in each paycheck. Try to save as much of what remains as you can. You may find it hard to maximize your savings, but as you near retirement, you will be very glad you did.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Deposit some money into a savings account for emergency purposes.\", \"描述\": \"Try to maintain an emergency fund consisting of roughly six months' worth of normal expenses. This will help cover costs should you lose your job or become temporarily incapacitated.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Find ways to reduce costs.\", \"描述\": \"Using a budget will help. Here are some examples:\\nWatch matinee movies instead of higher-priced evening showings.\\nEat out once or twice a month rather than once or twice a week.\\nMake your own coffee and take it to work or school rather than stopping by a coffee stand on your way.\\nLeave your credit cards home when going shopping. If you're determined to use a card, pick one with a generous rewards program.\\nDon’t go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You may buy more than you need at such times.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using the Envelopes System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Budget each paycheck.\", \"描述\": \"Take note of how you spend your money. Keep a list of every outlay. When you stay accountable this way, you'll tend to be a little more careful. Allocate an amount each payday for food, utilities, entertainment, and whatever other necessities you're committed to. \\nThis completely depends on the size of your paycheck and how much you tend to spend on groceries, clothing and the like.\\nSometimes you'll have to cut down on some things to make it work and to make sure you aren't stretching yourself too tightly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Label some envelopes.\", \"描述\": \"Create an envelope for each of the above categories. Once you've budgeted your paycheck, you'll fill those envelopes with the amount of cash allotted to each category. For example, if you've allotted $100 for food, you'll put $100 in your food envelope.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't resupply the envelopes until the next paycheck.\", \"描述\": \"This means that once you've spent the money in an envelope, that's all you can spend in that category until the next paycheck. So if you blow all your fun money at once, don't take a trip to the ATM to replenish. Take your envelopes seriously. \\nDon't be stupid. If you're low on groceries, and you've run through all your food money, you might have to borrow from another envelope. Pay it back the next payday. You may need to adjust your budget if you keep running short.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Allow time to get it right.\", \"描述\": \"You aren't going to get the system 100% right the first time. That's okay. It'll take a few months to get accustomed to budgeting and to figure out how much you need for essentials like food and electricity before you can spend more on clothes and fun things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to avoid using plastic.\", \"描述\": \"There will be times when you're going to need to use a debit or credit card. Using plastic, however, is so easy that you may not even feel like you're spending money. That's not good if you're trying to be disciplined with your finances.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The grass is not always greener elsewhere. If your friend buys the newest iPod, you probably don't actually need one, too. Think long-term, not short.\\n\", \"Create an Excel spreadsheet showing all recurring monthly expenses. Fill in expenditures as they occur, and Excel will show you the monthly totals.\\n\", \"Learning financial discipline takes time. Start by changing one thing at a time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
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